#robot plays elden ring

[robotsprinkles]

played about 3-4 hours today

tried making my way through stormveil castle via the hole in the wall that the dodgy guy I didn't trust told me to take and got killed after making what I think was a decent amount of progress into it (I got at least one (I think two?) graces before getting killed and decided I wanted to fight some bosses/minibosses/greater enemies/whatever so I went and killed the flying dragon agheel and the night cavalry.

Got sent to eeby deeby (caelid/the mines with the blue crystals) by the chest in the dragon ruins and fought some blue ghost guys who kept disappearing and some scythe bat things and weird dogs before escaping after finding a couple graces

found some priest in a random church, got tp'd from liurnia of the lakes by some magic pedestal that had weird spiderpeoplemonsterthings attacking me to I think a big glowing blue door that needed a key I didn't have

went down a really long elevator to a place with a lot of crabs and blue ghost minotaur things and I think got tricked by a joke message about a secret pathway and spent five to ten minutes hitting every wall in a random room. eventually managed to reach a point that looked like the end with some blue ghost minotaurs and guys who shot me with a bunch of stupidly big arrows, and used a stonesword key to take the elevator at the end of the path

and ended up back at caelid

[reyrapidsbutgayer]

Ranking All Elden Ring Bosses by Fuckability

It was only a matter of time until I made a post like this.

In this hypothetical all of the bosses can be reasonably communicated with and are not actively trying to kill you.

Repeat bosses not included, duo bosses counted seperate.

It should also be assumed that all of these bosses have access to their magic/items/resources to benefit them in bed.

Explanation of Grading system:

Ineligible: (Cannot give consent)

These characters are not sentient enough to communicate consent, or are physically incapable of sex.

Unfuckable: (Can give consent, but does not DESERVE sex)

Character sucks so badly that they do not deserve to experience pleasure in any shape or form.

Uninterested: (Can give consent, does not WANT sex)

These character are fully capable of sex but would never participate in sex due to lack of interest or overabundance of moral convictions.

Not worth it: (Can give consent, is terrible in bed)

I mean, you COULD have sex with these characters but why would you?

Acceptable: (Can give consent, would be fine in bed)

These characters are average in bed, nothing crazy or noticeable. Some might end up in this category because they ARE good at sex, but the entire process would be inconvenient or uncomfortable to initiate.

Good Time: (Can give consent, would be great in bed)

These characters are good at sex, give or take a few points depending on their mood or situation.

Knock your socks off: (Can give consent, would be amazing in bed)

These characters excel in giving pleasure and would be well worth the time and effort involved.

Sex God: (Can give consent, would be the best in bed)

These characters would be so good at sex that all other factors are irrelevant. They are serving and we are here for it.

Evil Sex God: (Can give consent, is a terrible person but you’d make an exception.)

These are characters that should fall lower in the rankings, but their sexual prowess supersedes their inherent awfulness to a noteworthy degree.

Full list below the read more. Obviously it's not going to be sfw.

Ineligible: (Cannot give consent)

Dragonkin Soldier:

Mindless beast

Astel, Naturalborn of the Void

Weird rock alien, doesn't/can't understand.

Fia's Champions:

Ghosts, simps.

Regal Ancestor Spirit

Animal

Erdtree Avatar

A plant

Great Wyrm Theodorix

Mindless beast.

Ulcerated Tree Spirit

A plant, no junk

Tibia Mariner:

Skeleton

Red Wolf of the Champion:

Animal.

Full-Grown Fallingstar Beast

Weird rock alien, doesn't/can't understand.

Abductor Virgin

First off, just some snakes in a robot. Second, virgin.

Erdtree Burial Watchdog

Stone gargoyle

Crystalians

Non-organic

Mad Pumpkin Heads

Unable to consent due to madness.

Cemetery Shade

Unable to consent due to mind controlling parasite.

Spirit-Caller Snail

Animal

Runebear

Animal

Miranda the Blighted Bloom

A plant

Guardian Golem

Stone gargoyle

Starscourge Radahn:

Unable to consent due to madness

Unfuckable: (Can give consent, but does not DESERVE sex)

Elden Beast:

Too catholic.

Sir Gideon Ofnir, the All-Knowing:

Dick game weak - unironically posts joker memes.

Omenkiller:

Basically a cop.

Necromancer Garris:

Killed his family, not a good husband.

Royal Revenant:

Won't stop screaming (in an unsexy way)

Godrick the Grafted:

Incel - Also all that murder and torture business but mostly the Incel stuff.

Uninterested: (Can give consent, does not WANT sex)

Valiant Gargoyle:

Could probably have sex if it wanted to, but is kinda going through a lot right now. Ya know, that whole "Is made of several corpses mashed together" thing.

Malenia, Blade of Miquella:

Look, I ALSO wanted her to higher up on this list, but let's be honest here. Her body is rotting and falling apart, she just isn't up for sex in her current form. In her prime? She'd be top of the list. She's the daughter of Marika and Radagon, she'd be playing fuck/marry/kill with every warrior who crossed her path. (in that order)

Death Rite Bird:

I think it might be physically capable of sex, but is too busy burning corpses to bother with stuff like that.

Black Blade Kindred:

Same reason as the Valiant Gargoyle but you might have like 2% more of a chance because they are goth.

Maliketh, the Black Blade:

Would normally be a sex god, but is too religious. Probably took a vow about this sort of thing.

Morgott, the Omen King:

You kidding me? This guy has the same energy as a repressed youth pastor. He's gonna be a virgin till the day he dies. The dude sided with the same religious order that locked him a sewer and tried to kill him. He's not out there getting phone numbers he's too busy praying and judging others for their 'impure thoughts'.

Draconic Tree Sentinel:

Married to his job, also physically chained to his horse. He ain't taking off that armor anytime soon.

Wormface:

Too sad, leave him alone his face is full of worms.

Tree Sentinel:

Same as the Draconic Tree Sentinel but he's a tiny bit more naive so you might have a better chance.

Elder Dragon Greyoll:

Too sleepy, but still kinda a milf.

Grafted Scion:

There might be some genitals in there somewhere but I don't think they know how or even want to use them.

Not worth it: (Can give consent, is terrible in bed)

Esgar, Priest of Blood:

No sense of hygiene, is always covered in blood (in an unsexy way)

Mohg, Lord of Blood:

This loser is dripping with all the least sexy bodily fluids and he has sharp horns sticking out of him. Even if you got him in bed you'd only enjoy like 5% of it. Plus you just know he'd be all needy afterwards and try to get you to join his MLM.

Borealis the Freezing Fog:

Too cold, not a snuggler.

Elemer of the Briar:

The armor stays ON during sex.

Kindred of Rot:

It's like all the worst possible aspects of alien biology, it won't be nearly as fun as you hoped.

Sanguine Noble:

Same as all the other Mohg followers, too sticky and too smelly.

Decaying Ekzykes:

He's sick right now, leave him alone.

Acceptable: (Can give consent, would be fine in bed)

Loretta, Knight of the Haligtree:

I'm sure she'd be a decent lover. Maybe a little overzealous but she'd has good intentions.

Grave Warden Duelist:

I mean these guys are hot and probably fuck like a truck but they are not the most caring lovers, also they are covered in live snakes so there is that.

Night's Cavalry:

If you like goth knights I'm sure they'd be fine.

Alabaster Lord:

Their skin probably feels like stone, but I bet they can pull off all sorts of freaky zero-g sex stuff if you ask them.

Onyx Lord:

Same as the Alabaster Lord but slightly more goth.

Fell Twins:

Once you get past the horns and stuff I bet the Omens are actually pretty good in bed, just watch out.

Demi-Human Queens:

I feel like all Demi-humans are pretty good lovers but their biology probably has some unexpected drawbacks.

Stonedigger Troll:

If you can get past the texture and the size I bet they could be decent in bed.

Flying Dragon Greyll:

A surprisingly unsexy dragon, but a dragon is a dragon and still worth at least a one night stand.

A dragon willing to kill racist magic users, earns them a few extra points.

Glintstone Dragon Smarag:

Beastman of Farum Azula:

On one hand the Beastmen probably have crazy mating skills, but they are also zombies, which detracts some points for all the decay.

Battlemage Hugues:

Contrary to popular belief, Wizards are not very good at sex. They spend all their time studying instead of partying, at least Hugues is willing to get his hands dirty.

Commander O'Neil:

Seems like a decent guy, but probably won't shut up about his time in the military. Also he is infected with scarlet rot so that might be a mood killer.

Bloodhound Knight Darriwil:

The bloodhound knights are probably pretty wild in bed if you can earn their loyalty, but good luck with that.

Adan, Thief of Fire:

The dude committed heresy, that has to earn him some sexy points.

Soldier of Godrick:

He's a good boy, he's doing his job so throw him a bone.

Flying Dragon Agheel:

One of the first dragons you encounter, so he earns some points for style.

Demi-Human Chief:

Same as the queens, but probably a bit rougher in bed.

Good Time: (Can give consent, would be great in bed)

Lichdragon Fortissax:

A much sexier dragon, you know they were hooking up with Godwin. Only loses some points for all the death rot.

Crucible Knight Siluria:

A bit gloomy, but I bet the crucible knights can do all sorts of freaky stuff with their animal body parts.

Mimic Tear:

A slippery liquid shapeshifter, need I say more?

Commander Niall:

A way better guy than O'Niel, plus he just a bit more daddy energy.

Fire Giant:

Once you get past his size, his sadness and the giant fell god of destruction in his chest, I bet he's got something going on.

Ancient Hero of Zamor:

Gives me Hercules/Amazonian vibes, I could be into it.

Cleanrot Knight:

Lesbian activities detected.

Crucible Knight:

These guys have tails, horns, wings and big old throat sacks. Imagine the possibilities.

Glintstone Dragon Adula:

Has a sword. If you hear "Dragon holding a sword" and your pants aren't already off, we can't be friends.

Bols, Carian Knight:

He seems like a good boy.

Scaly Misbegotten:

I feel like the Misbegotten have some really interesting possibilities with their animal biology. I bet they have bonobo type societies and that could be fun.

Leonine Misbegotten:

Same as the other Misbegotten.

Misbegotten Warrior:

Same as the other Misbegotten.

Knock your socks off: (Can give consent, would be amazing in bed)

Crucible Knight Ordovis:

Has all the desirable traits of a Crucible Knight but I also imagine they are super into threesomes.

Perfumer Tricia:

She seems really nice, and would be a super attentive lover. Plus she probably has access to crazy drugs and could hook you up.

Nox Swordstress & Nox Priest:

You just know that the Nox were getting up to crazy hot and crazy unethical experiments in their underground cities. These two probably get up to some wild shit and they are inviting you to join them.

Rennala, Queen of the Full Moon:

As she is now, I bet she'd be too sad to really be in a relationship again. But she kept up with Radagon and you just know she has some tricks up her sleeves that could make you abandon the golden order.

Sex God: (Can give consent, would be the best in bed)

Dragonlord Placidusax:

Has two male heads and three female heads, imagine...

Ancient Dragon Lansseax:

Formed a whole freaky dragon/human cult and you just know they got into some eyes-wide-shut orgies behind those doors.

Godfrey, First Elden Lord (Hoarah Loux):

We all knew he'd be this high on the list. He was just a normal dude but he managed to keep pace with Queen Marika (Who is basically a goddess of fertility) for a good long while. He will fold you in half (on the battlefield and in the bedroom.)

Evil Sex God: (Can give consent, is a terrible person but you’d make an exception.)

Radagon of the Golden Order:

He sucks in all the worst ways, but I mean... You can't NOT. Both Radagon and Marika are the embodiment of evil but they managed to suck and fuck their way across an entire continent for generations. You HAVE to give a try at least once.

Godskin Duo:

Oh my god will it be awful with all those flayed human skins, but you know you are still gonna have to. They can stretch and do all sorts of freaky stuff with their bodies, plus they kill gods and nothing is sexier than heresy.

Vyke, Knight of the Roundtable:

The dude is a mad killer but... he can still probably get it, might as well give it a try.

God-Devouring Serpent / Rykard, Lord of Blasphemy:

Personally I wouldn't, he's a loser and will probably kill you. But he is also a giant snake made up of squirming hands doing all sorts of sexual experiments, I can't blame you if you want to give it a taste.

Black Knife Assassin:

They committed a whole lot of treason but the power of armored lesbians is too hard to resist.

Patches:

If you are already having sex with from software characters, you gotta give Patches at least one attempt. When you wake up he'll have robbed you, but you knew what you were getting into.

[rachetmath]

RWBY X Video Games Pt 2.5

Ruby: Hey I bet you can't figure out what characters we played as in Borderlands.

Jaune: Hm. Ren? Nora?

Nora: Yeah I think so.

Ren: Me too.

Yang: Alright guess.

Jaune: Weiss was a Siren two times, so she was Lilith and Maya.

Weiss: How?

Jaune: Your semblance is similar to their move set. Obviously, plus I bet you enjoyed the look.

Weiss: shut up.

Nora: Yang, no doubt was Brick. He was a desecrator.

Yang: So true.

Ren: Blake had to Mordecai.

Jaune is leaving Ruby to Roland because she is a little more tech-wise than you. But mainly because she likes guns.

Ruby: Okay what about the sequel? I mean Weiss is already figured out.

Weiss: Shut it.

Ruby: But what about us?

Jaune: Hm. Hey.

Messenger: What?

Jaune: Did you give them DLCs?

Messenger: Yeah.

Jaune: Okay thanks.

Nora: Hm.

Yang: What's the matter? You guys are stumped?

Ren: I mean a little, we know Blake was Zero.

Blake: Damn that quick?

Jaune: Yeah that quick, come on. However you and Ruby we are torn against.

Ruby: Pfft how come?

Jaune: Were you two fighting over one character?

Yang: … Um.

Ruby: I-I-I mean-

Nora: It was over Salvador the Gunzerker wasn't it?

Yang: … mmm

Ruby: mmmm

Jaune: it was. It was. Give me five.

Nora: Damn right. *High five Jaune*

Jaune: I haven't forgiven you though.

Nora: Can we please talk?

Ren: Um can we get back on topic?

Jaune: Since when are we on topic? Anyway, it's clear why either of you wanted him. Mainly, why Yang wanted him.

Ren: I mean their personalities match so-

Jaune: No Ren, it's clear as day.

Ren: I mean- Oh. Oh. I see.

Yang: *blushes covering her breast*

Jaune: I don't understand why you are showing boating those balloons every day.

Nora: He's right, girl, there is no shame.

Blake: I don't get it.

Jaune: There were two options for both Ruby and Yang. Ruby could played as Gaige but she loves guns more than giant robots so she wanted Gunzker. Yang however didn't want the other character, Krieg because he was half naked.

Blake: So that's why two were arguing that time? Why didn't either of you choose Axton?

Jaune: Roland’s clone? Really?

Blake: Fine.

Nora: So Ruby understood why Yang wanted Salvador so she played as Gaige.

Blake: Alright, but you three won't figure this out. Pre-sequel.

Jaune: Ah shoot.

Ren: mm. Mm

Nora: Damn. That is hard.

Ren: No Handsome Jack Clone right?

Blake: Ew.

Weiss: I hate you for saying that.

Yang: I'm too sexy to be that arrogant.

Ruby: I mean the weapons are cool but no.

Yang: I mean I could have been-

Jaune: Hell no, don't say that. You ain't no Athena.

Yang: gasp how dare you sir? I’ll have you know-

Jaune: Athena has a shield and a sword. She is more about defense than offense. Plus you never used a sword.

Yang: How does that matter?

Jaune: Anyways I believe Ruby was Claptrap.

Ruby: What? how did you -

Jaune: Claptrap has access to all the previous Borderland character's moveset. I know you would be happy to use them.

Weiss: Guess you've become basic Ruby.

Nora: Lady Hammerlock.

Weiss:*stares at Nora in anger*

Nora: *cockly smiles* It suits you, considering your previous statues, Ice Queen.

Ren: Blake was Nisha. Her skill is very useful and she has a whip.

Blake: *blushes*

Jaune: Which leaves with Wilhelm the Enforcer. Mainly because you both lost an arm.

Yang: Okay. True.

Weiss: Well you won't guess who we-

Jaune: Borderlands 3. Weiss the Beastmaster. Blake the Operative. Yang the Siren. And Ruby the Gunner.

RWBY: ………………

Ruby: Man. No fair.

Nora: Come on, it wasn't that hard. Blake's semblance is basically Zane’s hologram. Amara power is Yang semblance except stronger and more versatile. FL4K just fights with his pets like Weiss with her summons except he does a better job.

Weiss: What was that?

Nora: And Moze has a giant robot with guns. Ruby would never miss a chance like that.

Ruby: Damn right!

Jaune: So are we done?

Yang: Yeah we’re done. But I have a question. How does it feel to be maiden-less in the Elden Ring and real life?

RWB: Oh.

Emerald: Shit!

Oscar: DAMN! You get no bitches!

Jaune: I mean, in the Elden Ring, I’ve seen a lot of crazy women. One was hell-bent on destroying a tree. A blue-doll woman who basically wants me to devote myself to her. A dragon woman. A flower woman who I’m surprised can live for so long. A woman who believes in a snake, so much so she was willing to eat off his corpse. And a knight who was dying and was beating me like no tomorrow. Took me three times to beat that woman and it wasn’t on her second phase. So yeah, being maiden less was more of a blessing than having one of either them.

Yang: Oh.

Jaune: As for real life. I mean I had women look at me funny back at Mantle, I had Pyrrha back at Vale. Glyanda believed in me so she might count. Then you got Weiss who complimented me. And it seems I was on your girl's mind before you even entered the picture. Regardless, I don’t care, but at least I don’t settle for less.

Yang: Um..

Jaune: And I love my mom. Too bad you will never know that feeling cause you never had one

Yang: Jau-

Jaune: I mean I’m not too judgemental but come on, at least I’m not a hypocrite, an irresponsible brat whose only accomplishment was getting a lamp. Oh, wait, that’s gone too.

Ruby:: Jaune.

Jaune: How does feel bitch? To be motherless, having to show nothing for all life's struggles but a girl who once fantasized about another man.

Yang: *cries*

Ruby: Really, Jaune?

Jaune: I mean I may have messed up a few times. But I was right on the majority of things and I produce great results.

[bloodredfeathers]

Hair

What I think it would be like to play with the hair of the boys with long hair

Characters: Jamil Viper, Idia Shroud, Malleus Draconia, Leona Kingscholar

A/N: Nobody begged me not to write anything else so I'm assuming my last fic was okay, anyways here's my second thingie enjoy it :3

Gender neutral reader, you/your pronouns

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jamil Viper

You know his hair is silky smooth and super soft fjfkdhdkfhd

Just imagine braiding it for him

Sitting on his bed while he's kneeling on a pillow on the floor

And as you start to do his hair he closes his eyes and leans back

He feels so relaxed for once

"Just don't pull too hard, okay?" Jamil was incredibly hesitant to allow you to lay even a finger on his hair. As a retainer, he has to keep up his appearance to set an example, so although he trusted you, he couldn't afford to have something bad happen to ruin said appearance.

"Also don't take too long," he mumbled. "The game against Royal Sword Academy starts in around forty five minutes."

"Relax, you'll be fine!" You said cheerfully. "Just trust in my abilities!"

Jamil raised an eyebrow before turning his back to you, allowing you access to his hair. Carefully and patiently, you began your work, starting by creating a couple of thin French braids on the left side of his head. Jamil shuddered slightly. He usually did his own hair, and therefor the feeling of someone else doing it for him was very foreign.

Gently, you gathered up his hair atop his head, securing it in place in a neat bun. The braids snug but not uncomfortable, he felt somewhat relaxed and comforted by the fact that you were so gentle and caring with him.

"It looks nice," he complimented your work as he looked in the mirror. "It doesn't feel loose but it's not uncomfortable. Thank you."

"Of course!" You beamed. "Now go kick RSA's ass!"

Idia Shroud

Please it would take SO long for him to not freak out over you even looking at him, let alone playing with his hair

But his hair is warm and soft, and the way it moves is very flamelike

Of course, it's not hot enough to burn you

Even though blue flames are the hottest flame-

But still, his hair would be super soft and the feeling of it would be almost like running your hand through water

Like yeah it feels and acts like normal hair but it still has that sort of flowy liquid behavior to it if ykwim

"Idiaaaaa," you said in a singsongy voice. "When are you gonna be done with that game?"

"Just give me like...ten minutes," Idia didn't look away from the screen, but you could tell he was super excited. "I've been trying to complete this Elden Ring quest for like two days now and I keep on failing but this is the closest I've ever gotten to doing it!"

You smiled and stood from his bed, walking over and watching from behind him. You noticed his hair moving a bit quicker than usual, as it typically does when he's hyped up about something. Reaching out your hand, you felt his hair flow around it, gently caressing your hand. He didn't notice at first, but then you reached higher and ran your fingers down his scalp into his tresses, staring in awe at how they carefully danced around.

"H-hey! What are you doing?!" He nearly shrieked as he realized you were there. The tips of his hair began to glow a bright pink.

"Your hair is so beautiful..." You said, mesmerized.

Idia's hair went from pink tipped to nearly pink throughout as he became even more flustered at you complimenting him so easily. He brought his hoodie up to his face to hide his uncontrollable grin as your fingers danced through his hair.

"Do you like when I do this?" You asked him. He felt his face heat up and he couldn't speak, so he nodded, kind of aggressively. You giggled and gathered it into a ponytail before combing through it, feeling its lazy flow and comforting heat.

You could swear he's the robot and not Ortho from how he literally malfunctioned.

Malleus Draconia

Okay so idk I feel like his hair is super soft but kind of tangled

No bc hear me out

Lilia usually brushes it for him but he's been slacking a bit so it's a little tangled

So you go to do it for him

And you're shocked at how soft his hair is even though it's so tangled up

Lemme paint the picture rq

"Do you have a hairbrush?" You asked Malleus as you sat on his bed. He nodded and picked up probably the most extravagant hairbrush you had ever seen from atop a dresser. Made of what looked like pure silver and twisted in a Victorian Era style, it looked like an antique. He handed it to you and you took it carefully.

"Lilia used to use this to brush my hair for me but he's become a bit preoccupied with his other responsibilities," Malleus explained. "Therefore, he hasn't had much time to do some of the things he used to."

"Come here, sit in front of me," you beckoned him and tossed a throw pillow onto the floor in front of where your legs dangled. Malleus cocked his head slightly but did as you asked. Even sitting on his knees, he was almost at the same height as you sitting on the bed.

"What are you doing, child of man?" Malleus asked cautiously.

"Just trust me, Tsunotaro," you said reassuringly. He seemed to visibly relax then, and you began working. Gently untangling his hair, brushing slowly, starting from the bottom and working your way to the top. Malleus had incredibly thin and smooth hair, and not very much of it, just enough for a long, thin ponytail. Or...a braid...

Once his hair was untangled (no thanks to his horns getting in the way), you brushed your fingers through it, separated it into equal sections, and begun to braid.

Malleus was enjoying himself. He could bear with the slightly numb legs if it meant having his child of man work the magic they were. After you finished the braid, you smoothed down and fixed his bangs and showed him in the mirror.

He loved it.

Leona Kingscholar

Oh

Oh no

Bestie wyd I hope you have a lot of free time cuz this bitch has tangles for YEARS

I'm sorry Leona I love you but tame that literal mane

Ik you're lazy but for Yuu's sake-

But if you're gonna untangle his hair it'll hurt so PLEASE PET HIS EARS AND MAYBE GIVE THEM A ✨KITH✨ OR TWO

"Ow!" Leona yelled. "What'd ya go an' do that for, herbivore?!"

"Sorry!" You protested. "How is your hair even this tangled in the first place?"

Leona huffed and closed his eyes again.

"I don't have time to take care of it," he muttered. You held back a laugh. If he had enough time for all of the sleeping he does he SURELY had enough time to spare two minutes to brush his hair out every once in a while.

You continued your seemingly futile attempts at untangling Leona's wild locks. Little by little, you combed through and worked out as many knots as you could. Soon enough (not soon at all), his hair was smooth and without any tangles. Leona had to admit, the lack of tangles made him feel good, especially when you gently massaged his scalp and pet his ears.

"We're all done," you said softly. "If you need it taken care of again, please just ask. I don't want you to have to suffer like that again."

You gently kissed the top of his head and he felt his face heat up immensely.

"Whatever herbivore..." He paused for a second before burying his face in your stomach. "Thank you..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ok so that's done finally

Any requests? Feel free to ask!

💥Akira💥

[literallyjimmyhopkins]

Bully Heacanons: Fave Videogames?!

SORRY ITS BEEN A WHILE YALL! I had my uni audition the other day, and a gig, ive been super busy!! I was doing some thinking, and as I thunked, I though about what videogames the characters would play if they could play ones from today; Gary? I feel like he'd play anything with intense combat, or anything combat focused. So, dark souls, elden ring, call of duty etc. He likes guns, he likes fighting. He'd play everything on hardcore difficulties, get mad when he keeps dying, and switch to easy so that he can feel super overpowered. He'd also love the sims, the little freak, and would make the other bullworth students and kill them in various ways. He'd like playing god, too, so any god sims. Gary would be the most toxic of console players, in the voice chats he'd be a god at destroying people. He has had so many accounts banned for harassment. Pete? I get the feeling he'd like racing games. Apparently he has the top score on the future racer arcade game. I think he'd also like rhythm games, guitar hero, maybe even osu. I think he'd be pretty versatile too, playing anything with a story from Hades to Skyrim to Animal Crossing and Stardew Valley. I can definitely see him as a PC gamer but also with handheld consoles like the switch. he's not really an online player, but wouldnt mind MMORPGs like world of warcraft. Jimmy would love games with destruction, and giant mechs and robots and big enemies, explosions and blood. Typical boy stuff. So I think he might like the armoured core games. I can also seeing him having a DS, and those really shitty games called like "Tanks Vs Giant Bugs" or "Giant Dinosaur Robot Killing Time" (speaking from experience here). I don't think he'd have had the money growing up for anything crazy, but he'd be lucky enough to stumble across and get a console, like a ps4 just before they brought out the ps5 (also speaking from experience here). I think he'd love the survival aspect of minecraft and might enjoy casually playing some battle royale games.

[ex-mortis-evie]

speaking of inductions I wanna throw out the crazy ass ideas I’ve had for inductions lately that I wrote in this fancy little notes page that I use when I have an idea instantly that I know I won’t remember later.

don’t ask how these would work, idk either

Lady of the Lake induction

Adam and Eve induction, forbidden apple themed??? Maybe I’ll do this one still sounds fun

Breakdancing induction

Space induction involving black holes, this one is still kinda neat, may do it

BROLY INDUCTION, I HAD THIS WRITTEN IN A NOTE AND I STILL HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT MEANS

Confusion induction involving berries, again don’t remember why I wrote that down??

Dark Souls bonfire induction

Elden Ring themed induction (can you tell I’ve been playing too many soulsbornes lately)

Lamia induction, one I’ve had cooking for a while but never felt satisfied with.

Ancient book induction, something that involves some eldritch text that triggers the subject? May still be cool?

Vampire induction

Painting induction

Car wash induction??? Seriously what the hell is up with my brain

Aphrodisiac involving Aphrodite elements

Plant induction

Nature induction where by the end you’re trapped in a forest

Snake charmer induction

Hypnotic robots??? That’s all I wrote???

[cashewally-sarcastic]

dark souls and elden ring lore are just one of those things that get rotated in brain. It's laying on the floor worthy. Reports of the Dark Knight Hero decrease for a good three days after Diluc plays the game. The traveler is stocking up on games to put the brothers thru. They are thinking Portal (1+2) next (aka something more light hearted). Keaya invites Lisa and Jean to backseat as well and I do think Lisa would jokingly flirt at the robots (make comments like 'oh? Its a date" <- glados is trying to kill her)

Do I gotta find 10+ hour videos about the dark souls lore because I’m intrigued

But also anyway YES Traveler planning and collecting games for them to play :D and so true Lisa would jokingly flirt at the robots.

[dappercritter]

Armored Core 6 1st Impressions

Hook it into my veins. HOOK IT IN TO MY VE--

I've been on the fence about Armored Core ever since Bloodborne got me into Fromsoftware's catalogue and I started playing mature games with higher difficulties for bigger gammer kids

Normally I don't care for any mecha media that strays into darkness and the horrors of war--yes, I was a bit of a dumb kid--but after some maturing, I gave it another shot. Soon enough I was hooked, but I when I got into AC I never thought I would be playing a new entry soon or enjoying it this much!

Perhaps it was Bloodborne's high difficulty and risk/reward gameplay loop or Devil May Cry 3's cathartic combination of challenge and style, but when I finally got to AC6 it clicked.

I've always liked games with heavy robots that combined fast movement with tense combat since I played Transformers War for Cybertron & Fall of Cybertron way back in the day (my first big T for Teen boy games, too!), so it does make sense.

Even better, one of the big draws for AC6 for me was how much it's landscapes reminded me of High Moon Studios' car-robot shooters--a vast expanse of machinery, constructs far beyond any human scale, and the backdrop of a dying but beautiful world. But AC6 surpasses that in so many ways thanks to both a unique setting with more organic touches, as well as Fromsoft's iconic attention to detail in regards to environments. I think it says something that Fires of Rubicon's titular planet is the first environment in a mission based game where I wanted to just wander around the planet forever.

I'm still getting a hold of the combat. It's much faster but also much less forgiving than even Bloodborne's was. Yet despite that sharp learning curve, the controls are adaptable and easy to memorize, movement starts to come naturally, combat is tight with gratifying SFX to boot, and a breadth of customization options to rival even (oooooh) Elden Ring's variety.

The best part about all that is how more than perhaps Kid Icarus Uprising or DMC3, AC6 is a game where i'm as eager as possible to replay old missions with new unlockables. The missions have straight forward objectives but how quickly and efficiently you can solve them is the challenge, and while this is no Phantom Pain (altho it does have a more palatable, if withdrawn take on "war is hell" but that's my squeamish take), the game rewards for your maximum efficiency in completing those objectives through its credit system. The less damage you take, the less ammo you use, or the more enemies you take out, the better your pay + mission rank. I'm already addicted to it.

Anyways you can thank @iamthekaijuking for giving me the last push I needed to make the impulse buy off ebay

I have nothing else intelligent to say so here's my first build

I based him partly on christmas candies because I liked the colour palettes, plus he's sweet but he didn't last long

[ham-strokers-ejacula]

Swinging a bat at the hornets nest blah blah. I just started dragon dogma 2 and it is

HURTING MY BRAIN.

Started a mage because that’s my go-to. No resource or mana, button mashing spells and long-cool down ‘hard attacks’ which is not favorable.

Writing and timing are laughable. It’s like the whole plot was written by bad AI told to combine Elden ring, game of thrones, and a pinch of elder scrolls into some sort of DragonHeart slave/master kink fantasy.

The character create is kind of a let down. We like that there’s cat people but not enough to pick one for first play through. Adopting the multiracial trope of other similar fantasy settings would have been nice. Nothing against cat people but I would love to spice it up with mooooar fantasy.

Creating your own big booty follower and creating your own teams to mix and match with other players is interesting but the annoying dialogues of said followers make you want to silence them. 🔪🔪🔪 It also gets a mini game vibe very early on.

There is a fluidity and sharp robotic motion to everything that is noticeable and distracting. The level of detail and design of simple areas like taverns or wilderness is stunning but not enough for me to ignore what annoys me with this game.

I get the feeling this game could have been a lot cooler ten years ago.

[etes-secrecy-post]

Hi, before I explain my post, I want to say something important.

• What you see my blog has become a major overhaul. And despite the changes, I decided that my 2nd account will be now my artwork blog with a secret twist.

⚠️NEW RULE! (W/ BIGGER TEXT!)⚠️

⚠️ SO PLEASE DO NOT SHARE MY 2nd ACCOUNT TO EVERYONE! THIS SECRECY BLOG OF MINE IS FOR CLOSES FRIENDS ONLY!⚠️

• AND FOR MY CLOSES FRIENDS, DON’T REBLOG IT. INSTEAD, JUST COPY MY LINK AND PASTE IT ON YOUR TUMBLR POST! JUST BE SURE THE IMAGE WILL BE REMOVED AND THE ONLY LEFT WAS THE TEXT.

⚠️ SHARING LINKS, LIKE POSTS, REBLOG POSTS, STEALING MY SNAPSHOT PHOTOS/RECORDED VIDEOS/ARTWORKS (a.k.a. ART THIEVES) OR PLAGIARIZING FROM UNKNOWN TUMBLR STRANGERS WILL IMMEDIATELY BE BLOCKED, RIGHT AWAY!⚠️

😡 WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT EVER LIKED & REBLOG MY SECRET POST! THIS IS FOR MY SECRET FRIENDS ONLY, NOT YOU! 😡

Okay? Capiche? Make sense? Good, now back to the post…↓

#OnThisDay: Sept 23rd, 2009

Title: Cuteness ACE 3 the final retro

IMPORTANT NOTE: Umm... Before I shared my throwback, I just wanted to say, I'm still not okay from yesterday [CLICK ME!]... 😞😔 I'm still had jealousy feeling from my siblings owing to their own jobs and I DON'T HAVE ONE. My cure from depression is going albeit slow... But, I'll try to dust myself off and standing my two feet. Maybe a nice morning walk will make myself a little better, like what happened in 2022. 🚶

Anyway, enough of my sorrow, let's moved on to my Monday's throwback:

Here's a fun fact of me playing video games: Did you know, 15 years ago, I've played the SUPER underrated mech-based game gem called "Another Century's Episode" franchise exclusively on Sony PlayStation consoles/handhelds (specifically, PS2, PS3 and PSP; PlayStation Portable)? 🤖🎮😁 Yup! It was a lot of fun, at the time when PS2 still going strong (over the new PS3).

• For those who don't know, this Japanese exclusive video game 🇯🇵🎮 was created by the old gaming publisher/company "Banpresto", the same team behind the "Super Robot Wars" franchise (formerly known as "Super Robot Taisen") before Banpresto was merged with "Bandai Namco Games", now called "Bandai Namco Entertainment". Now, ACE (short for "Another Century's Episode") wasn't your typical mech-based chess strategic game like the aforementioned "Super Robot Wars", ACE had a different approach using "Third-Person Shooter" game where you played different mechs based on Japanese most memorable TV Anime Mecha shows like of course "Gundam" (which we're never forget in our hearts as a fan), "Martian Successor Nadesico", "Getter Robo" series, "Eureka Seven" series ,and more... Heck, they even collaborate with Banpresto and Atlus (well known for "Shin Megami Tensei" and "Persona" series) creating their own mechs and characters for the 3rd ACE installment, and its SUPER DOPE in a good way! 😃

BTW: let's not forget "From Software", who also developed the said underrated mech series. Which, you may known today behind "Soulsborne" genre, like the over popular "Elden Ring". ⚔️🏰

• And as you can see, I draw Pocoyo 🔵👶 armoring the "Exblau Form H", along with Kirby ⭐ armoring the "Burning/God Gundam", and two Muglox faries of Mirmo 🪇 and Murumo 🥁 armoring the "Gundam Double X + G-Falcon" and "Freedom Gundam", respectively in a colored-retro style! 🤖😁

If you want it more, then please go to these provided links 😉👉 [CLICK ME! #1], [CLICK ME! #2], [CLICK ME! #3].

Pocoyo - POCOYO © Zinkia Entertainment Kirby - Kirby series © Nintendo, Hal Labs Mirumo & Murumo - Mirmo! © Hiromu Shinozuka/Shogakukan, TV Tokyo Armor - Another Century's Episode © Bandai Namco Entertainment (BANPRESTO) Armors (Mobile Fighter G Gundam, After War Gundam X, and Mobile Suit Gundam SEED) - Gundam series © Bandai Namco Filmworks, Inc. (SUNRISE), Sotsu

[orange-coloredsky]

fandom is so crazy people will have you convinced you actually secretly dont like something just because you have thoughts on it that arent entirely positive. yes i secretly hate and despise fallout the fourth, a game ive spent a collective 7 months of my life playing, because i think the combat is boring and repetitive and i wish that the robots they want to convince you are people were given actual personalities. i actually gave elden ring one star because there weren't enough Black people in it and i thought it was kinda annoying that some of my favorite bosses had a bunch of copy-paste miniboss fights. my chronically online political takes on these two games come from a place of pure spite. im a big scary critic and i hate everything you love and definitely dont just love something so much that i think about it as vastly and deeply as i can.

[robotsprinkles]

today's progress:

beat godrick

got kenneth his fort back

found an erdtree avatar and killed it

killed some big guy with a dumb hat (helmet) who was repeatedly (and only) slamming his head against the ground

Stepped on a purple plate and got teleported to an arena with a guy who really liked conjuring really big and slow fireballs at me

got roderika a job

met blaidd

godrick was surprisingly easy (I think I might've been overlevelled?)

(apart from the part where his second phase would without fail tank my framerate to like. 20-40 fps for the rest of the fight every time. which miiiiight've been because I was streaming it to my friends in our discord server — but I even when I stopped streaming and lowered my graphics settings the framerate still tanked in phase 2, though perhaps not as much — I don't expect it'd be my pc, since my pc's pretty beefy)

almost beat him on my fourth attempt (got him down to "will die to one heavy attack") but panicked because I was also on low health and didn't ape hard enough and died to his fire attack because I was trapped against the back wall.

Ended up getting him within 20-30 minutes because after that the framerate tanking got really bad. (also had two attempts where I got distracted talking to a friend about ac6 and just ran into his attacks multiple times in a row and died in phase 1)

I did once again start doing my dumb thing of "well I know if I stand here he'll miss his entire combo and let me hit him with two square off heavies" and "I've already hit him with two square off heavies so I can just walk up to him as he's winding up to chamber his next attack and hit him with another one to stagger him and get a crit" and "yeah I've got the time to walk up to him and land a square off heavy before he can counter hit me"

(I feel like my. heavy (to put it lightly) use of square off heavies is maybe a little cheap. like it's got the downsides of having a pretty long startup, low effective area, and being liable to miss targets that you're right up against if they lean back a bit to chamber an attack (even if your collision boxes are still touching). but it just does so much poise damage (and normal damage) that it makes getting crits ridiculously easy and frequent)

Worried I might've been overlevelled so uh. I was something from level 34-36 with a +3 or +4 weapon and 5 +2 healing flasks and an fp flask. If that's way overlevelled I might try beating him on my second character which has only fought the tree sentinel, the enemies after gatefront ruins leading up to margit, and margit

think I might've been bamboozled by the messages again when I went to get kenneth's fort? after killing all the enemies I went up a tower/ladder with a chest at the top and there were a few messages saying it was a trap and two bloodstains showing the player getting killed by something but I opened the chest and was fine and nothing jumped me so I don't know what that was about

travelled straight west and found a minor erdtree and an erdtree avatar and killed it. why does it have laser drones from ac6/funnels from gundam

oh also I got a buckler so now I can try parrying on what reddit tells me is easy mode

[cursed-40k-thoughts]

Is Armoured Core on the same difficulty level has Dark Souls or is it possible for casual players to play?

Like the gameplay looks fun from a trailer but. Will I need to frame perfect time parries or something awful like that?

I'm generally just looking for mech games with single player modes on console given the abandonment of Titanfall 2

Similar difficulty in a different direction. Familiarity with enemy timing and attack patterns is still a thing, usual FromSoft fight stuff, but you don’t take/parry attacks. The benefit of being a robot with thrusters means that your way of dealing with attacks is to fly/boost out of the way or get out of range. That’s the core of it really. Just move out the way, and return fire with your choice of guns/missiles/lasers. Certain weapons can be more or less effective against certain enemies. All the AC games have that sort of basic deal.

We know from the most recent showcase there are other factors for AC6, too. Enemies have a somewhat pronounced stagger meter. You fill it up by attacking them, and when it’s full they get stunned and you can smack them up for free for a bit. There’s also some sort of checkpoint system. We don’t have the full details regarding it yet, but based on what we saw of it, and based on the way a similar system was utilised in Elden Ring, it seems to let you tweak your loadout and respawn next to an important fight or boss encounter if you die to that encounter.

So yeah. Don’t get me wrong, Armored Core can get pretty fast, and it’s certainly challenging at times, but the premise of combat timing is based more around you just… moving and shooting enemies when ideal. A lot of difficulty honestly did stem from how awkward the some of the button layouts and technical aspects were. For me, anyway.

I do genuinely think that, despite the AC games (particularly the newer ones) being “faster” than Soulsborne games, the actual core of what they ask from you is a lot simpler. Again, a lot of the stuff that I found to be obtuse was a product of tech limitations and questionable design elements, and I think that FromSoft has come a long way since then in both game design and their technological capability.

We still don’t have anything approaching a full picture for all of the finer details of the game yet, so time will tell, but yeah. It’s really not as bad or as mind-blowingly tricky as some people make it seem. I’m very sure that once we get to see more fleshed out gameplay and info that you’ll be able to make a hard decision for yourself. It’s the kind of thing where you’ll be able to tell if you are or aren’t into it.

[aqours]

real talk the main reason i bought super robot wars 30 was bc i can set up pay in 4 plans with my bank but only if i spend enough money so during the summer sale i was like

hey with all dlc thsi shit is like over $100 i'll grab it now for $30 and bundle it with elden ring dlc to get a payment plan + i get to play code geass characters and i'm getting back into code geass

and the fact i've been listening to divine beast nonstop for over an hour is a sign this was a good buy

[blazehedgehog]

What do you think of the Horizon series?

I'm sure they're fine. They sound fun. They look fun. But there's also this weird vibe where they are maybe the most "Here is a shrine we built to spending a lot of money."

There's this sense that Horizon games kind of "fake" being important. They fall in to a specific archetype of open world game but never really set any standards or really evolve the genre or have much lasting impact beyond the standard six month release window.

Like, I'm still seeing people sharing Breath of the Wild videos of crazy things they pull off in that game. They never stopped. That game came out in 2017 and regardless of how close or far away the sequel was, people have always been buzzing about Breath of the Wild.

Same might be true Elden Ring. That game's over a year old and people are still doing weird things with it. It still has a presence.

I mean, heck, people are still doing wild things in GTA5, and that game is like a decade old!

Neither of the two Horizon games have that kind of presence. They came out, the mainstream said "yea that's good" and then moved on. Nobody in my purview is like "yeah guys I really love Horizon Zero Dawn so let's start a weird gimmick run where I try something new."

Which is fine. Games don't always have to shake the pillars of heaven. You can just be a regular old " good game" and that's okay.

But Aloy gets treated like this big important ambassador of a titanic Sony game franchise. I remember when Fortnite started doing game crossovers, we got Master Chief, Kratos, Lara Croft, Ryu and Chun-li, and then the next big character was... Aloy.

Who, at the time, only had one game to her name. And Fortnite was putting her in the "Gaming Legends" series next to people with decades of success behind them.

And now, y'know, there's a Genshin Impact crossover, there's all this merch, and she's on the cover of Vanity Fair... and it's like, really? For Horizon? The robot dinosaur game?

Like I said, I'm sure they're good games. I'm not doubting that. But they're not industry defining. They're not really risk taking. But they're being treated that way, when I have a hard time seeing Horizon being this timeless, eternal franchise with much staying power past, say, a third game.

It'd be like if Fortnite added, I dunno, Cole from inFamous as a "gaming legend." Like, in 2023, you're like "Who? Why?"

Horizon's popularity feels forced to some degree just because they throw a lot of money at it, but if it wasn't for that, it wouldn't get nearly as much hype or merchandise. And it's weird to realize that.

I have no immediate desire to play either of them.

[bracketsoffear]

Shout-outs to my submissions that didn't make it:

Rose Red/Briar Rose/The Rose Reds/The Queen of Hearts (The Mechanisms): Rose Red was “the finest warrior of King Cole’s army,” so Cole, “desperate for a force that could never be stopped, never be defeated, never be halted as it marched from planet to planet, had Rose seized on her wedding day, to become the genetic base of this unholy horde.” Rose’s eponymous song includes lyrics like “she has fought and she has bled / Waging war on a hundred worlds, on a thousand battlegrounds / Open fire, open fire, turn your home to a funeral pyre, All she knows is pain and death and a moss-covered stone” and “Always marching on to fight to another bitter end / Open fire, open fire, the flames of war can still burn higher”. Briar Rose, the first clone of her, still had Rose’s memories, so she murdered an entire moon’s population (“battle, beauty, both had I won”) and was subsequently turned into the heart of a defense system, fueling and focusing the gun turrets with her rage, hatred, and FEAR. The subsequent clones, known as Rose Reds or “Rosies,” were a monstrously effective conquering force that waged brutal and deadly war for decades against rebel forces: “a single rose red was a match for thirty at least.” They are just as defined by war as their source: they have numbers instead of names, it’s unusual for them to survive long enough to show signs of natural aging, and they think of torching a village as a throwaway line in a funny story. The Queen of Hearts (described as wearing a uniform “stained black with old blood”), is a Rose Red waging endless, pointless war against rebel forces decades after the war ends, refusing to give up the fight despite it being entirely pointless with the fall of Cole’s empire. She puts Rose Red skin on robots, decapitates her troops for desertion, and declares “Until my last bullet / My troops will be strong”; it’s implied that she might have forced Alice into becoming her recruiter, broadcasting a message to the stars saying “Send lots more soldiers. I need them. I need them for the war.” Finally, The Toy Soldier fought alongside the Rose Reds (they thought it was a human with Rosie enhancements), and TS is one of the more Slaughtery mechs.

The Toy Soldier (The Mechanisms): Literally called the Toy Soldier. Has a song describing war as a children’s game generals play with soldiers as toys. Blindly obeyed orders from both sides of the Moon War, gladly slaughtering its former comrades without any compunctions. Joined the Rose Reds, a conquering army of super soldier clones made from another arguable Slaughter avatar. Embodies/deconstructs the military culture of Britain and the uncanny dehumanization of war—it is a polite English “gentleman,” and also a ruthless murderer who senselessly obeys anyone commanding it like a machine and correctly recognizes that all soldiers are really toys in the game of war. Also, it’s very musical.

General Radahn (Elden Ring): craved war, and, wanting to emulate his idol Godfrey (known as Lord of the Battlefield, waged wars of conquest against the Giants+Dragons+Storm King, had to have his bloodthirsty rage sealed away to be an effective ruler), grew obsessed with battle at a very young age; his challenging of the Starspawn might be emulating Godfrey’s war against the Fire Giants. His Red Lion Army was one of the most hardened and skilled among the Lordsworn, and they won him victory after victory through his leadership during the Shattering. As the Red Lion General and "the Shattering's strongest Demigod", Radahn was famed and feared throughout the land as an apex warrior, magician, and tactician as a General; his leadership and charisma were such that even after the disastrous Battle of Aeonia, his Redmanes are still organized and disciplined enough to simultaneously contain the spread of Scarlet Rot to Caelid in a brutal Forever War. The mightiest warrior in his army, who even went toe-to-toe with fucking Malenia. Even after centuries of enduring untreated injuries from his battle with Malenia and her Cleanrot Knights, the Scarlet Rot ravaging his body and mind, wandering a desert with nothing but corpses for sustenance, and repeated attempts from warriors across the land, it’s still expected for the player character to work with a small army of some of the greatest fighters still alive to finally kill him.

Jagganoth (Kill Six Billion Demons): his village was murdered by soldiers, who forcefully recruited him, made him “dead,” by beating everything out of his life but war, and molded him into a perfect soldier. He regards violence with a certain degree of reverence and believes a ruler must singularly dedicate themselves to combat and war. As one of the survivors of the Multiversal War between the Demiurges, he became the conquerer of 111,111 worlds. He is on a holy mission to annihilate the universe in an omnicidal war, which as of the latest pages his followers are waging in his absence (as detailed in the War For Rayuba contest). He hoards and improves weapons and modern technology with the aim of improving them for warfare. While he desires to escape the cycle of endless warfare, he is ultimately extremely complicit in spreading Slaughter across the multiverse.

Jonny D’ville (The Mechanisms): “If you were a hedonistic sadist with a six-gun, immortality and a sense of humour, what would you do? In this case, the correct answer is 'shoot the nosy archivist right in her card index'." Self-described as happy murdering women, men, everything between, and children (the annoying ones). Killed a man's family, turning him into a brutal vigilante who apparently made a habit of beating Jonny to a pulp. During Ulysses Dies At Dawn, was apparently "depopulating" the lower levels. Joined the 42nd Starborne Division during the war against the Moon Kaiser, apparently for the heck of it, and apparently participated in Tim's rampage across the moon; generally thinks of the horrors of the Moon War as a fun time, judging by the tone of Gunpowder Tim vs the Moon Kaiser. Watched the civil war in Once Upon A Time In Space with the other mechanisms going on for thirty bloody years "For when you're immortal, a good war is a very pleasant distraction, indeed," but is persuaded to interfere partially because "it has been a while since we've had any really... good violence." This results in his rampage in "Sleeping Beauty": "Gotta say I’m in the mood for violence, and I reckon you might be too / Let’s get this party started the only way we know / Gunfire and explosions, that’s our cue" and "Fire ‘til your guns are empty, ‘til your ammunition runs dry / If you’re finished playing at soldiers, you might have noticed we cannot die / I suggest you beat a fucking tactical retreat / Or we’ll let slip the dogs of war and havoc cry". Describes the crew of his ship as "Having fun, violence, adventure, violence, violence." All of the Mechanisms are arguably Slaughter to some extent, but I would argue that not all of them are the BEST Slaughter Avatar (Ashes feels more Web, for instance, and Raphaella and Ivy are very Eye); the strongest candidates would be Tim and TS because of their military themes, and Jonny because of his various serial killer rampages plus participation in the Moon War.

Belkar Bitterleaf (Order of the Stick): Described by the wiki as a “sociopath that loves stabbing, inflicting grievous bodily harm to others, and gourmet cooking. His complete lack of morals and willingness to kill is most clearly illustrated when his internal conflict takes place between two devils (one representing his usual impulsiveness, the other thinking in terms of the bigger picture) on his shoulders (his constant murdering having driven the angel completely insane) […] Belkar is one of the group's most powerful fighters, consistently defeating opponents one-on-one or when outnumbered, to the point of proclaiming himself a ‘Sexy Shoeless God of War’”—and this happened while he was standing on a pile of soldiers he single-handedly slaughtered. Buries his feelings about how everyone dislikes him and he has no idea what he wants to do with his life in violence--“if I stab something in the face enough times, [my complex feelings] will go away!” Took at least one level in Barbarian.

.