Photo
Tumblr media
Esquire magazine, May 1966
17 notes · View notes
philsmeatylegss · 2 months ago
Text
If I were Dan and Phil I would never hard launch because it’s so embarrassing that we were right. Like what do you mean you were so in love a bunch of thirteen year old’s clocked it? I would never give that satisfaction.
2K notes · View notes
smartypantsshow · 5 months ago
Video
tumblr
All in favor of the "spworm" say aye 🐛⬇️
705 notes · View notes
8ball-wizard · 1 year ago
Text
i'm w4ms (wizard 4 mad scientist)
1K notes · View notes
apsciencebydan · 7 months ago
Text
The Amazon Ant nest which provided me with the coolest single creature I may ever find nearly 2 years ago is still there and active! I wondered if it would survive this past winter and a burn, and was glad to see both species out and about yesterday. Polyergus longicornis can no longer feed themselves, so they raid the nests of Formica dolosa ants and carry back "slave" workers to care for them. So if you find a nest, there will be two ant species in the same burrow. Usually you will just see the Formica out and about doing maintenence on the nest, but if disturbed the Polyergus and their large mandibles will come out ready to fight. Or if you're really lucky you'll catch them on a raid, which is quite a sight.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
OR, if you're prepared to use your entire allowance of luck for your life, you'll catch a gynandromorph male/worker just emerged. 👀
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
351 notes · View notes
sassycyborgninja · 1 month ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Something something I'm reading journal 3 and the entry about Fiddleford man FORD WRITES SO TENDERLY ABT HIM they makE me SICK
138 notes · View notes
shadowhaert · 3 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
in remembrance of all deceased transgender individuals who have been misgendered through paleontology
trans liberation does not stop with death insp by @sweatermuppet
83 notes · View notes
improbable-outset · 8 months ago
Text
I’ll forever think ab that one fic where Mig synthesised a serum that stimulates reader’s ovaries so he can breed her successfully 🫠🫠 im physically ILL
133 notes · View notes
threepandas · 3 months ago
Text
Bad End: Preserve Us
Tumblr media
You know how in conservation biology you sometimes try to introduce a pair to be mated and one will just... just fuckin' merc' the other? Just absolutely obliterate them in a hissing, growling, nightmare ball of fury? Before anyone can stop them? Territorial and (to put it lightly) "uninterested", dispite your desperate desire to save their species from extinction, and need for them to get frisky?
I know.
Holy SHIT do I know.
There's a lot of reasons. Ways you can (hopefully) get around it. But first? Is finding out WHY it happened. Was it just the one? The environment? Were they sick? Or... as is the case sometimes, did they decide their Handler was their mate? Some species only mate once. Are loyal for life. You gotta work around that.
Which is all well and fine and good.
When we're talking about ANIMALS.
Non-sentient, non-sapient animals! Not ALIEN SPECIES! What the ABSOLUTE FRESH HELL did they expect from me!? Compliance?! This was UNETHICAL! Monstrous! I had been trying to slip my gaurds long enough to radio for help SINCE I GOT HERE.
I hope the fuckers ROTTED in whatever their Gods considered a Hell.
"Conservation facility" my ENTIRE ASS. You can't run CONSERVATION EFFORTS like this on SENTIENTS. Eugenics loving, atrocity fetishizing, immoral BASTARDS!!! And they KNEW it too. They HAD too! Or they wouldn't be HIDING it! Fucking KIDNAPPING scientists! Biologists! Doctors!
I was on my ways to study Lekku monkeys!
God...
I'm? I'm so tired of being pissed.
Furious and outraged and SCARED. Horrified and sick. There are PEOPLE here. Kids! And I don't... oh god, I don't... H-How LONG has this been going ON? Why did no one NOTICE?
Every day I feel my heart break. The desire to scream and scream and never STOP, grow inside me. I have to get out. I have to get us ALL out. Get these people FREE. Do SOMETHING. But I am forced to "conserve" the species assigned to me. The group assigned to me.
It's killing my love for the field. Making a mockery of everything I worked for.
I don't... I don't think my hands will ever be clean again.
But I have to help. Do everything I can. Make hell a little kinder, if nothing else. At least while I figure out a way OUT. My group deserves better. The groups I do not work with, deserve better.
I disguise games as "testing". Pages and pages of meaningless numbers ans scores. INSIST that enrichment is the key to success. Diet is EVERYTHING. Oh, and habitat? Well unless we can mimic their habitat there's no WAY they'll "breed".
No, no, using machines would stress them out too much.
It's like you DONT want babies!
Who's the expert here? That's RIGHT! Dr. Cho, but FAILING her and like five other people? Me. And I know for a FACT they are pulling the same scam. We ALL fucking hate you. Dr. Cho has KIDS, you FUCKS. Hasn't seen her son in YEARS thanks to you bastards. He was engaged. She's probably missed his WEDDING thanks to you!
Getting distracted, spiraling again, gotta stop DOING that.
It wont help anyone.
But God, if my brain doesn't slowly feel like it's shorting out the longer I'm here. Stress is called the silent killer for a reason. Or what that something else? Fuck. I can't even look it up! Bastards cut us off from the galactic web. Full information blackout. Because of COURSE they did... can't risk us rightfully calling for help.
Getting the Feds involved to shut this hell pit of a black site DOWN. Or a "whatever it truely is" site. Because it sure as SHIT has nothing to do with conservational biology. Except maybe the abuse of it.
But that doesn't help me right now.
Focus, damn it!
The Yanderens. Old, absurdly rare, nearly extinct, with a home planet they'd reduced to uninhabitable wastelands millennia ago due too... something. No one knew what. There had definitely been fighting. It WAS documented they were excellent fighters. Ruthless ones at that. But it was ALSO documented they strongly pack bonded.
There had been a lot of strongly worded warnings on what few documation my captures were able to find, translate, then shove at me. But honestly? They said the same thing about humans. Ooooh big scary persistent hunters~ oh nooooo! Watch out for the omnivores with a history of war! Sins of the father and we are defined by our diets! Class systems! Let's all JUDGE each ooooootheeeeer~!
Yeah, no. Not buying it.
Especially when the "warnings" were so damn vague and poorly documented. All "the HORRORS!" and "we barely SURVIVED!". Cause honestly? The Yanderens I was watching over? Easily the most mild and temperate individuals I had ever met. No tantrums from the kids, no big emotional meltdowns, just curiosity and at WORST? Mild frustration.
It made everything ten thousand times worse for me, that these poor people were in this hellish place. They were calm. Curious. Meant for greater, BETTER things! They should be out, playing and learning. Exploring and enjoying peaceful strolls in some art gallery or zen garden somewhere! Not... not this sterile fucking LAB.
But then M-17 loses his SHIT.
And now I'm kinda panicking. Because F-6 is not just dead, God rest her soul (she didn't deserve this. Oh god. She was so SWEET.), but M-17 might just be too, soon. If I can't find out what HAPPENED. Because if he's "feral" or "diseased" or whatever other horrifying terminology they end up using? They DO something about it.
And I can't actually stop them.
I... I don't know if it was a trauma response. Or I did something wrong. I could PROBABLY pass it off as my needing more studies into their observed "mating habits"? That... that I somehow... turned it... uuuuh... dominance battle? Shit. Where are my notes?!
F-6 is DEAD and its all my fault.
She was such a cuddle fiend too. Always excited to hear about my studies, from before. My life. Wanted to join me after we got out of here. I never should have let her volunteer. Granted, she wouldn't have taken no for an answer. Wanted to spend the pregnancy plotting our escape. Asked me to help raise the kid once we got out. Had a whole grand plan. But I...And I...
God...
I should have said NO. Insisted. It was just so hard, when F-6 had made it all sound like it would be okay. Like she had a plan and all I need to do was trust her. Believe in her. Then we could be free.
I had hoped M-17 would work best. He was always the most agreeable and quick on the uptake. I figured... well... ha ha. God, I'm such an IDIOT. I should have CHECKED. Who KNOWS what happened before I arrived? What triggered I just accidentally rammed my foot into? FUCK! I sweep everything from me desk onto the ground. Don't give I shit that I'll have to clean it up later,
I had figured M-17 would be COOL with it.
This place is getting to me, isn't it?
Why the FUCK would anyone be COOL with getting jumped? Bred like an animal? Shoved in some random ass room, with a vaguely familiar stranger, and told "now fuck. We want a literal litter from you two"? All while some biologist watchs and makes god damned NOTES!?
Of course he fought back. OF COURSE he didn't stop!
The only one there he could trust was himself.
I...I'm becoming a monster... aren't I?
Oh god.
At least we're in the satellite facility. The gaurds are definitely going to rat me out, but the news will take time to filter back. And... and the Yanderens being so "dangerous" might work in my favor. I... I can spin this. I HAVE to spin this. I can't let TWO people die for my fuck up.
I promised myself I would get as many people out as I could. I refuse to back out now. Even if that means crying, puking, then going out there to lie my ASS off. This was TOTALLY NORMAL. In fact, expected! Yep! It means that's we've determined that M-17 is the alpha Yanderen! A thing that is both REAL and possible to BE!
I rinse my mouth, stomach empty. Crying has exhausted me. But I can't give up. Too many lives count on me now. I... I wish so badly I was just a nobody again. Just some random biology student, trying to make a name for herself. Being "important" is a CURSE.
I try not to chug my water as I half stumble out of the glorified shoebox that is my bathroom into the much larger and Fancier CLOSET that is my room. Truely, no expense spared, for the captives they ripped away from their lives. So glad I am here willingly and of my own volition.
I gather myself. Finally ready to go and try to untangle the mess I have made of everything. When a deep booming alarm rattles my bones. The lights flickering to red. Blast doors slide down, SLAM shut over the transparent recessed bit of wall that counts as my window, the door to the rest of the facility.
Trapping me inside my small room.
Almost immediately after, an EXPLOSION rocks the world hard enough to knock me from my feet. Only the bed's limited padding keeping me from a nasty concussion. The edge of it still ramming painfully into my shoulder. Another explosion. Then another. I sit for a long, terrible, second stunned.
The moment passes.
I scramble on my hands and knees for the in facility communication device that I had knocked from my desk in anger, grief. Not daring to stand lest I be thrown down again. I manage to find it as the world shakes again for the fifth time. Followed by what sounds like gun fire out in the halls.
I fling myself back towards my shitty little bunk. Drag every bit of padding and protection I can, down and under it with me. If the roof goes? I want shock absorption. If shots get through the door? I want something to slow those blasts down. Anything. ANYTHING! To increase my fucked chances of surviving.
I burrito up and wriggle back as deep as I can. The world muffled but ending just outside my crawlspace. Then I desperately try to get one of the others on the line. I got nothing but chaos. Running. Running. Hiding. And Dead.
Dead. Dying.
Remember me.
And GONE.
Some of them fighting with their groups too freedom. Some being targeted right along side their captors. Others savaged by the ACTUAL animals they had been working with, the one's Galacticly deemed too dangerous for effort like this. Someone or something had set EVERYONE free. A simultaneous attack on all fronts that our captors could not put down or escape.
The Yanderens were out there.
Oh god. Please let them be okay. They wer-
My thoughts ground to a halt as M-32 LAUNCHED his tiny body onto the screen of one of the security feeds I was desperately looking through. F-6 had figured out how to get us a backdoor to them a long time ago. M-32 was just a kid. A small, soft, cuddly little thing that loved to lean against me and crawl into my lap. All cherubic cheeks and cute little curls. Shy!
Yet I watched... in mounting horror... as like a lion on some unfortunate animal, he landed on a gaurds back. Small arms going around his body in a mockery of a hug. Head tilting so he could BITE at the back of the man's neck, small hands clawing and ripping at weak points in his armor, as he screamed. Thrashed. Tried desperately to get M-32 OFF of him.
There was so much blood.
My hands were shaking. So much, I accidentally hit the next screen button. Jerked my thumb back. But... but oh god. There was F-26. Using the butt of a rifle to slam down against the head of a scientist. Again and again and again. Long after the begging and thrashing stopped. I flipped again. M-4? No... please not M-4. Not the soft spoken and wise...
I watched as he grinned, a cold thing, and shot out another joint. His foot on the chest of the head scientist who had moved him to a different group. In the background, his supervisor lay dead. They had not died quickly. The head scientist was begging. A mess of tears and pain. M-4 shot another joint, pressing his foot down harder.
I wanted to be sick.
I flipped again. And again. And AGAIN.
H...Had I known them at ALL? Like demons wearing the faces of those I'd known. People I'd trusted. Not a SINGLE ONE was... oh... oh god. F-6. Had she been too? Would I have ever known? Was THIS what all those warnings meant? I couldn't think. Couldn't breath. Had... Had never had a panic attack but... BUT-!
I wheezed.
Shook.
"Oh, Clever giiiirl~" A familiar voice sang, before a blood splattered face flickered into being on the screen in my hands. "Where aaaare yoooou~?"
M-17. He'd somehow managed to take over the security cameras. That or the communication feed. His eyes were bright. A grin on his face like I'd never seen from him. ALIVE in a way I'd never seen him. The excitement transformed his face. No longer softly doll like, but something DANGEROUS. Unhinged. His eyes dilated and deadly teeth on display.
"Come out, come out wherever you aaaare~. I have so much to TELL you! We have so much to DO! I'm going to make you MINE sweetheart! No one else can have you. So come out. I won't hurt you much, I promise! Just gotta make you mine then we can leave okay~?"
Furious snarls echoed through the halls. Male and female alike. Old and young. I... I recognized each of those voices. What was HAPPENING?
"Aaaah? Did you TRASH really think you DESERVED her? Ha! Please." M-17 grin was cruel. Mocking. "You don't have a chance in hell of taking what's MINE."
His eyes seems to shift away from unseen enemies and back, somehow, to me. Warming to something euphoric. Resting his head on his hand as if to consider me. His fingers spread, stroking his own face, as if the desire to TOUCH was simply too great. As if what he was imagining was bleeding over into the real world.
"Oh clever girl~ my clever, clever girl~♡ I can't wait til it's just you and ME. Start think of where you want to go first, okay? We're going to get married. Have that child you wanted me for. All the things you ever dreamed~♡ I'm going to have you all to myself. No more annoying others. Ah~ can't wait to find you soon!"
"But first?"
"May the best of us Win."
100 notes · View notes
saturnsorbits · 3 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
About to make him a ✨Daddy✨
65 notes · View notes
l3viat8an · 1 year ago
Note
Consider: Diavolo also has two dicks
He's a dragon, and dragons are reptiles so it's not too big of a stretch to think that. Though fitting both of them in one hole will definitely be one hell of a stretch
Nsfw content MDNI
I’m fully convinced some of y’all wanna die by demon dick- same tho ;)
Diavolo is sooo fuckin’ big tho…….I mean the stretch to fit one already stings a bit in all the right ways~ but it’s still a lot.
So with two….ya just ain’t walking the new day-
But this also means he has dragon stamina~
Which means Diavolo definitely ‘preps’ you by fucking you stupid on one of his cocks, filling you up with cum before he even tries to give you his other cock.
Oooor I suppose he can always double pen you on his owe- one in your ass and one in your cunt-
661 notes · View notes
dmsr-art · 4 months ago
Note
if you take testosterone, your clit grows and can get hard too
oh yes anon i am well aware, but i don't want any permanent changes to my body 😭 sometimes i just wish i could snap my fingers and have a cock to play with, u feel me? i need science to invent a strap that attaches to my clit with nano bots or some shit and interfaces with my nerve endings so it replicates all the sensations of a cock. and it should be able to shoot huge loads too
78 notes · View notes
3dprintcess · 5 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
Spaceship Greg [AO3]
M/M, Explicit, 77k words, Taskmaster UK sci-fi AU, fandom-blind friendly.
A sci-fi space fic where Greg is a spaceship, and Alex is an escaped, drug-chemist, slave. They have a bad time, finding comfort in each other.
After decades of indentured servitude on Al Murray’s private moon, Alex has made a break for it – scrambling through a junkyard in a desperate bid for freedom. He’s terrified, bleeding, and fears a laser blast in his back at any moment, but he would never in a million years expect to literally stumble upon a half-junked spaceship from the war in need of a name, a purpose, and most of all, a friend.
He reaches out his hand, and carefully wipes away years and years of dust from the cold metal surface – feeling the engraving rippling on his fingertips. The plaque reads “Geran Republic 3Ө, Stellar Monitor Warship” There’s a date too – which seems to be the commission date – forty-three years ago.
“Can I call you Greg?”
Animated gif commissioned from the incomparable @debbie-sketch. Absolutely beautiful, such soft warm colours, and has a bit of an Iron Giant vibe! They were a delight to work with <3
92 notes · View notes
aifoslin · 6 months ago
Text
F-FATHER IN LAW— SIR— *Aifos. exe. has stopped working*
PAUSEEEE—
SIR YOU CAN JUST HIRE SOMEONE WHO CAN GIVE DEMONSTRATION OR LET THEM WATCH SEXUAL INTERCOURSE LIKE YOU DID— BUT THIS???? BRUH THIS IS ANOTHER HIGHER LEVEL UP TO GALAXY!
*EHEM—* Anyways I'm just overreacting and flabbergasted...
Aia... *stares at the off pregnancy toogle*... Go get em gurl— *yeeted*
Tumblr media
76 notes · View notes
science-bastard · 2 years ago
Text
good news everyone! my latest research suggests that the horrors are sexualizing us as well!
1K notes · View notes
stealthwitch · 21 days ago
Text
Hang on, Frankenstein is worried that if he makes a wife for his monster, they would create a race of monsters to wipe out human kind.
His creature can’t reproduce in the same way Frankenstein created him, or he would have made his own wife. But if they’re made from human body parts, assuming their reproductive systems are fully functional, they’d have human babies.
The babies would be human
35 notes · View notes