#solution: does not exist try again later

[spock-adoodledoo]

“我弄完了,你可以进来了.”

崔倍推开大理寺宿舍的门。他跨过门槛时，不小心脚没抬够高，突然打了个趔趄，差点绊倒。

幸亏他还扶着门框没摔。 搁他那倒霉运气，谁知道会摔成什么样呢。

[ladyoftheflowers-witch]

Pick a pile : How can I change my World/Reality? 🌌

Pile 1: 2 of wands, The Empress.

All you need to change your world is to work backwards pile 1, it seems like you have been putting your energy into something but now you doubt yourself, it is something which binds all forms of nature together, it is also something that could lead to light or darkness. The cards are showing that you need to reconcile your contradictions, you know that light can't exist without darkness and viceversa, maybe this involves working through your shadows, fears and wishes for the future, but I feel stronger that you are stuck in something and the solution is the first idea that you had but you need to put all your imagination and productivity to it and not abondon it.

You need to start again or destroy something to create something better, try to concentrate in the whole picture insted of each and every part. Take a close look to your goals and activities, make sure you are using your energy in a wise manner. You will dominate your circunstances dispite your fears pile 1. Take the initiative, follow your heart, where does it leads you? Love it's always the answer, so if you fear failure, try to mitigate it by having more faith and confidence in yourself, don't seek for inmediate results, find useful and just causes to fight for and everything else will fall together later on.

If you follow this mindset, new ideas and opportunities are going to show to you. You will feel more eager to start your abandoned projects and actually feel happy to complete them. I feel like you are working in something that implies to reveal against the power abuse in some way, to have a strong will, and at the same time it involves art and beauty. But anything that you are working on it has the approval of Aphrodite and it assures you success as long you have the courage to initiate it.

Pile 2: 8 of pentacles, Ace of spades.

This pile it's centered in business and carrers, I think that in order for you to change your world, you need to let others help you, a collaboration or commission will benefit you, possibly with a young man that has relation with you in some way, maybe you have similar interests but you complement each other. I don't think this collaboration will be forever, but it will help you in the correct and perfect moment for you.

You have a skill that you are improving, it requires patience, deeply care and attention to the details. It has more chances to have success if you can learn everything that you can about it, so maybe you are assisting courses or studing the subject in depth. It's a hand made skill that will receive good recognition when you can finally exhibit it. With time you will gain new customers and contacts, trust in yourself because you have very good ideas and you have the discipline to achieve your desired outcomes from this.

The cards are giving two advices, one it's that you should catch up on new technologies and technologic divices and the other is that you need to concentrate in one activity, maybe you are dividing your energy in too many tasks or you have many interests and this doesn't allow you to commit to anything in depth, be carefull with that, you might loose time in vain if you don't know what you want.

This is specific, but some of you want to learn sewing and others already are fortune tellers.

Pile 3: 2 of swords, 9 of wands.

In order to change your world you must change your point of view pile 3, you are paralized, hesitating between following the dictates of your head and the impulses of your heart. You are mantaining a passive posture, but you can't avoid making a decision forever. Because of this your manifestations are not succeding, your ideas are disordered because you don't want to face reality.

Make yourself this questions: what am I feeling? Am I avoiding accepting my feelings for fear of the suffering that this may cause me? You feel like an enemy is awaiting you in every corner, but you fail to realize that you are strong, you have strenght in opposition. If you were to be attacked as you fear , the person that dares to do that will meet an onslaught boldly from your side, you are a formidable antagonist.

Don't let appearances fool you, with courage you can win and victory will surely be yours. Don't let discouragement or circumstances make you lose your inner strength. I'm wondering why you feel this way tho, maybe your worst enemy it's yourself and your fears and this is creating unnecessary delays in your manifestations. Try to see reality as a child might see it, you will find new experiences and events but only when you understand reality beyond what the senses offer you would be able to enjoy them.

Pile 4: 8 of wands, 10 of pentacles.

Before I can tell you how to change your world, tarot wants me to let you know that you are blessed by the faery realm pile 4, either literally by faerys or by an ancient ancestor, but they were watching over you since the day that you were born. I'm telling you this, because all your problems derive from not realizing how much support you have. Maybe you know by now that despite every hardship you have endured, things always seems to work in your favor; but you didn't realized why.

Maybe that is the way to change your world and reality pile 4, by realizing you have the support you need even if you don't see it with your fisical senses. This realization will encourage you to dare to take on the most unusual projects. You already have a few ideas in your head of what you want to do with your life, start acting on those, don't let negativity and confusion to take over you.

If you put all your energy, effort and constance into your goals, the cards are showing that you have all the chances to succed and you will feel at peace and happy with your results. Just make sure to take time to celebrate with your loved ones. Make that phone call, visit your family, show your love to your friends, they also love you very much, they believe in you, they also support you and feel happiness when they see you happy.

I hope you enjoyed this reading as I enjoyed writing it for you, sending love and light, yan 💫

[need-a-name-101]

PJOxDC Crossover

in which Duke is the son of Apollo who went to camp like once before he became robin and then later signal. He goes to New York for some reason and gets attacked by a monster, gets taken to camp and finds out his dad is Apollo. When the others find out that he is from Gotham, they just introduce him to Bernard who is also at Camp and a son of Apollo. Bernard tells him that Gotham is such a fucked up place even Greek Gods and Monsters don't go there often. They go back to Gotham. A year or so pass by Bernard helps Duke understand as much of his powers as he can (I hc Bernard as a medic). They grow close. While around the same time, Bernard meets Tim again and the Children of Dyonusis shit goes down. (Duke for plot reasons is not there, Why idk will make something up) Tim and Bernard start dating.

Duke plays his powers as being a Meta. Bruce and the otheres buy it because thry have no reason to belive that a secret socirty of Greek demigods are in NY. It is so because of the mist, the mist is strong even Diana and the Amazons are unware about camp. After the Giant War. (Which Bernard and Duke were not a part of), The mist stats to fail, so the demigods aka Percy, Annabeth, Nico, Will, Piper, Leo, Jason (If the AU is he lives), Frank, Hazel and all decide to go to ask the Amazons for help. But upon taking with them they find out that The Amazons were unaware of their existance. Then they decide to join force to find out a solution and build relations.

until then in Gotham Tim and Bernard are together. Tim introduces Bernard to his family slowly and one of the first people he meets is Duke. Tim is trying to figure out the mystery of why do Bernard and Duke know each other. They both said summer camp, but Tim knows them both well enough to know that they are lying to him. Why would they lie about it? But it's not a main focus because, Duke and his boyfriend get along and thats enough. He once brings it up with Bernard but he just says "It's like how you waited for a while before telling me your a vigillante" And Tim leaves it at that. When both of them are okay with him know they'll tell him.

While the Demigod and the Amazon gang find out that their quest to fix the mist will take them to Gotham. Wonder Woman just sighs and tells them that They have to contact Batman that they will be in their territory. negotiations are made with Batman and he agrees only if one of the Bats of he himself is with them when they are out on the streets. Diana has no choce but to agree because Greeek gods maybe crazy but Gotham is crazier. While Will rembers that two of his brothes are from Gotham and they coukd ask for help but he hasn't talked to them in a while (Sue me even if Duke and Bernard don't go to Camp as often, they do keep in touch with Will)

Duke straight up refuses saying he lives with his foster dad/adoptive (Whatever AU it is) And his kids. He can't just have that many People over. Bernard agrees, and calls up Duke saying they have to tell Tim, Duke in reluctance agrees he’s still new enough to question his relations with the rest of his family. So later that day Bernard and Duke break it to Tim about camp, Greek gods and all that. Duke talks about his powers, and Tim nods and says he understands and will keep it secret from the rest of the family until Duke wants him to.

Tim later says that if Diana is going to come here then they are defiantly working with Batman. Bernard says that he is only letting them stay with him and is not partaking in whatever quest bought them here. They need to either come up with a cover and say why the demigods are staying with Bernard and Tim( they live together okay) or just straight up hide it from Bruce (the murder boat is fun but for this AU let’s pretend it doesn’t exist or it does and Tim just straight up buys an apartment or something for the demigods to stay at)

So later when the demigods arrive they meet up with Batman and Robin (Damian, to clarify) tell them the gist of their quest. Diana is obviously there. Then they part ways, Tim has taken the night off, so he and Bernard meet to demigods minus Diana. Duke is there too. The two of them tell them that Tim knows so it’s fine.

This is now when absolute chaos breaks, you have demigods who are most of them if not all, can’t sit still. All of them think Gotham is weird as hell but Tim , Duke and Bernard are like yeah it a Tuesday man. Will thinks that Bernard’s boyfriend is some mafia guy. Because if the small cuts and bruises but dismiss the theory after spending like a week in Gotham, because dam this city gets attacked a lot. The demigods undergo the quest, with help from the bats.

Them some shit happens and now the bats have no choice but to have the demigods plus Diana Stay at the manor so identity revel but they are all made to swat on the river Styx by Bernard to never revel their ID. Then boom more chaos because, “you are telling me that the bimbo Bruce Wayne is batman” “your boyfriend’s a vigilante.”

Duke had to now tell the family that he’s a demigod. It doesn’t really change anything. But it changes things. They’re still fine, it was not as a big deal as duke thought.

(Idk if I’ll ever write it so feel free to write this au but pls share a link cause I’d love to read it)

[violetjedisylveon]

Dad Macaque AU, some demons find single parents to be attractive (because competent single parents, are considered strong), so Wukong's enemies often flirt with Macaque...

Demon Bull King + Yellow Tusk DON'T do this...

Fake Mayor + A Random Spider Minion + Azure Lion + Peng + Nine-Headed Demon do flirt with Macaque...

Wukong + MK + Bai He: Oh, hell no! 😠

Macaque: (Resisting urge to destroy all the flirters...) 😡

Single parent Macaque: *exists, tiredly* Any demon: now that's a dilf! 😍

He truly gets no rest.

This is so funny, if you can't beat Wukong, try taking his ex mate who's proven himself to be an excellent father! Plus you get a kid out of the deal too!

Macaque has an even less fun time with LBD now because the thrall of the demon possessing his kid is flirting with him. Similar situation for the spider demon, he's not into dating he just wants to raise his kid, is that too much to ask?

Luckily most don't think they have a chance at flirting with him with Wukong around.

Then Azure pulls up and sucks Wukong into the scroll. Word spread quickly.

Macaque takes refuge from the people trying to flirt/courtnap him on FFM, where he thinks he's finally safe.

Azure's still there, and he takes the opportunity of Wukong being gone to give Macaque the offer to join him. As a sworn brother or partner he doesn't say.

Macaque doesn't know he's got MK and the rest (including Bai He) and he's just so confused, this day has been so weird. He throws a banana at Azure and tells him to come back later.

He thinks it's weird cause Azure's attention has always been on Wukong, right? Right?!

Nope. Azure saw Macaque with the monkey cubs on FFM way back when and it unlocked something in him. He has a thing for both of them at one point, but his attention transitioned to Macaque after the rebellion.

He knew he never had a chance with Macaque before because of Wukong, but they aren't together anymore, and Macaque's a single parent now... Azure belongs in horny jail.

Tang sees some stuff in the past. First thing he does out of the scroll is bonk Azure on the head.

Azure's got more reason to keep Wukong in the scroll now, nobody is going to stand in his way now. Peng agrees.

Yellow Tusk is regretting his life choices.

Everyone is grossed out by that encounter.

Azure, and Peng, think they need to have beaten heaven to win over Macaque so they don't approach him again until after that's done.

As for Macaque, he's extremely confused when MK tells him they both have the hots for him. He doesn't get it, truly, he knows that single parents are attractive to demons, but not this level. It can't be him, hobo theater dad that he is.

Azure flirts with Macaque right after his dramatic entrance on FFM, and gets decked in the face for it.

Macaque, Mei and Bai He's fight with Peng is mostly Peng flirting with him. Bai He is in a biting mood.

And then when the Snake Boi flirts with him and well, you know does this

Macaque is flipping sick of everyone flirting with him. He needs a way to get these people off his ass that isn't Wukong cause he ain't ready for that yet.

Bai He has a solution!

She calls up her auntie Iron Fan and asks if she can talk to her "cousin with the dog" over very serious matters at dinner at her place.

Cue a very confused Erlang Shen having dinner with the DBK fam and a little human(?) girl who is talking like she's trying to make a build deal.

Bai He: Mr. Erlang, I didn't want to resort to this but I need you to fake date my baba. Erlang: *confused but playing along, he thinks it's a game* uh... who's your dad? Bai He: the Six Eared Macaque! Erlang: Wukong's mate?!? o_0 Bai He & DBK fam: ex-mate! Erlang: ... why? Bai He: everyone is in horny jail for my Baba and I hate it! They keep attacking us and trying to touch him! 😡 Erlang: .... Erlang: aight I got nothing better to do Bai He: yay! But don't fall in love with him! This is fake dating! I don't want another dad! Erlang doesn't-touch-romance-with-a-ten-foot-poll Shen: that won't be a problem.

I just thought it would be funny if Bai He got someone to pretend to be Macaque's boyfriend to get everyone off him and it'd be funnier if it was Erlang since the guy's not doing anything in canon.

Macaque is on board cause he needs a break from the crazy horny people.

Wukong isn't pleased with it that's for sure. Macaque finds it fun that he's so jealous.

Thanks for asking!

[orxinus]

I can’t get your Euclidia Rises AU out of my head! I can’t wait to see where the story goes!

I just keep thinking about how freaking ANGRY Ford is going to be when the “medicine” Bill’s parents keep spiking his milk with finally kicks in and suddenly his artsy little triangle boyfriend can’t SEE anymore.

I mean think about it. Just think about how freaking important Bill’s vision is to him, in this AU particularly. Because if he can’t see, then he can’t see the stars, can’t see the other dimensions Ford wants to show him, can’t even see FORD anymore. Like just imagine how freaking lonely that would be for both of them. Because if Bill can’t see, then he can’t see the third dimension, so he can’t see Ford when he stops by to check on him, floating above his home all the time like a giant foreboding Eldrich “guardian angel,” and he can’t find his way through the portal and out of Euclydia to spend time with Ford either. And for that matter he can’t make art anymore, on the second OR third dimensions, which is the one thing he loves to do more than anything. Or at least the aforementioned things are going to be really difficult for him. And he’s not even going to have his parents because he’s going to be angry and hurt and resentful of them for doing that to him in the first place. While also possibly pulling away from his other friends as well because he’s resentful of the whole world/system that led his parents to do this to him, and he just wants to see Ford again: the only being he’s ever met who understands him.

Meanwhile imagine Ford popping in above Euclydia just to like, check on Bill be cheeky and mess with Bill a little while he’s going about his day, and for some reason when he looks down and waves, Bill doesn’t respond. Like, imagine what goes through his head.

Is he ignoring me? How dare he ignore me? Have I upset him again? He was fine when we said goodbye last time. So why does he look so upset? Wait, can he not see me?! What happened?! WHAT DID THEY DO?!?!

In this AU Ford is likely trying to hide how much Bill actually matters to him, just like Bill did to Ford in canon Gravity Falls, but that’s Ford’s only friend right there. Like yes, this is Megalomaniac basically-a-god Ford, so I can definitely see Ford coming up with a solution almost immediately. Like imagine him being forced into a position where after he finally gets Bill in front of him again, (because Bill leaving Euclydia is going to be so much harder without his vision) he has to actually show some empathy and console Bill enough so that the triangle isn’t in hysterics anymore, before whipping up some miracle cure to restore his vision. (Also assuming they’re also toxic in this AU, Ford might also use this incident to manipulate Bill later.)

-But not before getting really angry that anyone would do that to his triangle in the first place. Partly because he doesn’t like seeing Bill in pain (not that he’ll ever admit that) but also partly because of indignation, his own pride, and possibly even a streak of possessiveness. Like, “He’s mine, and he’s perfect. The only worthwhile thing on your pathetic little flat plane of existence. How dare you?” (Not that he’ll admit that either)

Just saying. Fordsy is gonna lose his SHIT.

(Or he might not. It’s your amazing story. And your phenomenal artwork! I can’t wait to see where it goes! Keep up the incredible work!!!)

interesting think piece! unfortunately i will be imploding in the next 5 seconds

[itsclydebitches]

Zevlor: An Angsty Character Analysis

Hey, Zevlor simps. Can I interest anyone in 4,000 words about our favorite disaster tiefling? 💀

“We can’t stay, but we’ll be slaughtered if we leave—we’re no fighters.”

Back during my first play-through this is the line that turned Zevlor from another dime-a-dozen, exposition spouting NPC to a character I was legitimately interested in. “We’re no fighters.” My DnD ignorance abounds, but even I could see that wasn’t an accurate statement. Here’s a mountain of a man sporting fancier armor than my level 2 Tav knows exists yet, having wrecked half the goblin hoard with his crossbow and, if you let him, he'll happily turn to punching as a solution to verbal disagreements. Plus, he’s clearly the one giving the orders, so what do you mean you’re not a fighter?

Having explored the Grove a bit I chalked it up to a generalized assessment of the refugees as a whole. They’re mostly kids, civilians, and would-be protectors who only look the part of fighters in cobbled-together armor. One woman is grappling with the guilt of killing someone for the first time, even an enemy. Lakrissa is sure they’re all going to get slaughtered and is willing to put money on that fact. Meanwhile, the couple you meet are more concerned with what pet they’ll get when they somehow, someway, make it to the city. Don't worry about how that'll happen. You learn later that even those like Ronan are small potatoes compared to most of the baddies you’ll face. On paper he looks and sounds like the real deal—dressed in robes, talking up an apprenticeship with the famous Lorroakan—but scenes like the celebration light show and his own fury at needing to be saved, again, highlight how far he still has to go. The point is that Zevlor is right: these aren’t fighters and he at 18 strength, paladin, former commander, is definitely the exception.

However, BG3 is the sort of detail-heavy game where I’d expect them to include that exception in the dialogue. “We can’t stay, but we’ll be slaughtered if we leave—these people aren’t fighters.” Zevlor’s inclusion of himself in this assessment continued to nag at me and it didn’t start to make sense until I delved into his tag here on tumblr, with more patient players than myself posting everything there is to know about the tiefling. (Thanks, all.) Zevlor is fascinating to me in part because he has this contradictory nature, one example of which is that he’s a very talented fighter who desperately doesn’t want to be a fighter anymore.

…but also he totally does.

We overhear in his dialogue to Tilses that Zevlor is adamant about shedding the titles he’s earned through combat: Hellrider, Commander, Sir. He insists that they’re just civilians now and it’s not like he’s being disingenuous here—note that he introduces himself as just “Zevlor” to Tav. Zevlor means what he says to Tilses and we can see that he’s trying to both reinforce his point and lesson the blow by referring to her as “Tilly.” The nickname is a sweet one, hinting at their close bond in just a single word, reminding her that he’s not saying this to hurt her, he cares for her… but the nickname is simultaneously something he never would have used as her commander. The intimacy meant to comfort is also a hard blow to weather. They're now people who use nicknames inappropriate for the hierarchy of battle.

So Zevlor means what he says here, means it enough that Tilses is convinced and drops her use of “Commander,” but there’s definitely a hint of bitterness in his voice. At least, I’ve always heard it. Zevlor is steadfast in his conviction here, even going so far as to say, “I’m done soldiering, Tilly” when discussing what will come next at Baldur’s Gate. Yet for all of that his tone conveys (understandable) anger and disappointment that it’s come to this. Zevlor doesn’t act like someone who truly wants this change, but rather someone who’s been forced to accept it.

Is it outside forces unwillingly influencing him then? Did Avernus truly change things irrevocably? No, not really. At least, not in the way Zevlor likes to claim. Tilses herself states that being a Hellrider is for life; nothing can take away that title. You lost your post? Your whole city? Most of the people under your protection? Doesn’t matter! You’re a Hellrider forever, no matter the circumstances. I can easily picture a time in Zevlor's life where he would have agreed with Tilses wholeheartedly. They are Hellriders, dammit, and so long as there’s one person looking for their help they will wield that title alongside their blades. And right now, Zevlor has a lot more than just one person in need of his assistance.

So it’s not that Avernus truly stripped them of that identity. Nothing can do that. Zevlor is not rejecting titles and planning retirement because the mechanisms of fate are forcing him to.

He’s doing all that because he’s lost confidence in himself.

Even as someone with a shaky understanding of DnD classes, I love the parallel between a broken oath and the rejection of a lifelong title. If Zevlor can fail in his oath—or in his faith entirely, according to the memories stemming from his pod—why-ever would he think that any other ‘permanent’ part of his identity was worth fighting for? If you can loose the very thing you’ve built your entire life around, every important aspect of yourself, tied to your very soul… what’s a bestowed title compared to that? Zevlor doesn’t believe himself worthy of being a Hellrider anymore, but I think that goes deeper than a string of horrific circumstances making him feel incompetent. As an Oathbreaker, Zevlor likely believes that if he couldn’t uphold that, he can’t uphold anything. Calling himself a Hellrider would be a lie. A fiction. A pathetic, dangerous, insulting fiction at that. It’s like calling yourself the “Hero” while continually failing those around you. Sure, others might insist it’s a title you’ve earned, one you will always carry with you, but you don’t believe them anymore and at a certain point calling yourself that feels worse than embracing the title of “Villain." You don’t want to be the villain… but you want to pretend you’re the hero even less. Pretending is exhausting.

We see this struggle in the many ways that Zevlor fails, or almost fails, to uphold the ideals that originally guided him. I use the term “villain” above deliberately because Zevlor is not merely a former hero-type who’s self confidence has been shattered, or who has been reduced to a civilian, or who thinks themselves useless; he’s actively fighting against temptations that, under less stressful situations, he’d never even consider. I don’t think he is a villain, I think he’s a flawed, struggling victim who sees his own, inevitable mistakes as villainous—and the longer that warped perspective continues the easier it is to fall into bad behaviors. This cycle is perfectly summarized in the autobiography Zevlor keeps by his bed:

“When every passer-by thinks you a thief and a heretic, it is deeply tempting to become one.”

We don’t know if this is Zevlor’s autobiography (as far as I’m aware, anyway) but even if it’s not the words have clearly resonated enough for him to keep them nearby. This particular line paints a pretty clear picture of Zevlor’s struggle. If everyone you meet says you’re devil-kin, vermin, or would-be criminal, isn’t it easier to just give them what they want? If you can’t persuade them otherwise, why put in the effort of trying? If he can’t be Faithful to his God, why have faith in anything at all? If he can’t save these people—setback after setback, mistake after mistake—why is he even making the effort?

Zevlor obviously is trying, very, very hard, which is why such thoughts are merely temptations rather than actual, questionable actions. Still, the Grove gives us numerous examples of the precipice he’s balanced on—and the ways Tav can tip him in one direction or another. You can talk Zevlor down from his anger and get him to acknowledge his disgust in nearly sinking to Aradin’s level. You can also let him boil over and punch the human at a time when the last thing anyone needs is more violence. You can convince Zevlor that there are peaceful ways of stopping Kagha's ritual, or you can help him in pursuing the darker temptation to kill her. It’s a “low” thought, but at his own admission he hasn’t been above entertaining it. Zevlor’s requests for help, though always polite and humble, carry a spark of manipulation in them too. He’s not above leveraging your previously selfless good deed to his advantage—"She owes you for saving this grove"—and if you approach him before speaking with Kagha he’ll claim that the ritual will “be trouble—for all of us.” Except, no? Not really? Tav can make it clear that they’re just here for a healer, they’re only passing through, and as a fighter they are not beholden to the Grove’s sanctuary as the teiflings are. It’s not trouble for everyone involved, yet Zevlor frames it as such in the hopes that (unnecessary) self-interest may motivate you if selflessness fails. Finally, if Zevlor dies in your play-through and you use Speak the Dead on him, he will admit to having “plenty” of secrets, none of which he’ll share. Admittedly, this may be the result of cut content, specifically a story-line in which Zevlor knowingly betrays the tieflings rather than being tricked by the Absolute. Still, the game as it stands is the story we have and within it we’re given a man who is both fighting against these dark urges (ha) and has a past riddled with secrets. If Zevlor is anything, it’s blunt when it comes to his own failings, accurate and otherwise. So how terrible must these secrets be that he outright refuses to divulge them when, generally speaking, most corpses speak freely in death?

However, out of all of this the struggle I’m most intrigued by is the one surrounding the gate. Zevlor represents the tieflings: persecuted refugees, vulnerable civilians, people seeking to survive through cooperation, specifically by joining a community. Kagha represents the druids (or at least a vocal subset of them in Halsin’s absence): bigoted individuals, powerful fighters, people seeking to survive by giving in to their fears, specifically by keeping themselves isolated. This is the moral dichotomy of the Grove and it is symbolized through the gate. Zevlor wants to open it to everyone whereas Kagha wants to close it, permanently.

So isn’t it odd that Zevlor is the one ordering it shut?

When the scene first starts Kanon shouts down that no, he won’t open the gate. Zevlor said that no one is allowed in. Notably, he’s saying this to Aradin and his crew, people that the Grove is at least passingly familiar with, given that Halsin left with them to search the temple. It’s also notable that Zevlor isn’t expecting goblins to attack the Grove. He’s shocked that this is suddenly a problem, brought about by Aradin’s decision—“You lead them here?”— and the entire point of staying at the Grove is that it’s at least comparatively safe. Yes, there have been more attacks lately, but Zevlor seems to be relying on the Grove’s relatively unknown location, as well as the fact that goblins are normally disorganized. The safety is only compromised because Aradin brought a hunting party back, so Zevlor has no reason to expect any visitors, let alone ones that would be a threat.

More importantly, he should welcome such visitors even if he did expect them. After all, that’s precisely what the tieflings are: strangers with no ulterior motives other than to survive. Broadly speaking it makes perfect sense why he'd shut the gates. Zevlor’s first priority is to his people, so anything that keeps them safe is, theoretically, a good thing. But through the lens of his specific characterization and this specific, moral dilemma, it’s an awfully hypocritical decision. Based on everything we’ve seen, our party would not have been welcomed by Zevlor if we’d arrived without danger on our heels and a rescue to endear him to us. So his people should be welcomed, trusted, kept safe, given the benefit of the doubt… but Zevlor isn’t necessarily willing to extend that same trust to others. At the end of the day, he and Kagha want a version of the same thing: safety for those they deem are worthy of it.

It’s precisely these flaws and temptations that make Zevlor such a great character to me, even before he’s tricked by the Absolute. The fandom has leaned hard into Zevlor’s self-loathing and let me tell you, I love it (kisses, hugs, and cookies for you all), but canonically I think he has more reason to fear himself than we tend to portray in the H/C fics. I’m not saying he’s a bad person. Rather, it’s precisely because Zevlor is such a good person that he has the capacity to fall so far. It’s his all-consuming desire to protect his family that leads Zevlor to do and consider so much that a paladin would normally balk at. Denying others the safety you’ve been granted. Subtly manipulating others to do your dirty work. Considering murder.

Zevlor is someone torn between doing the Right Thing and the thing he believes will help those under his care survive. Importantly, when we first meet him he considers these to be two separate courses of action. So can you imagine what goes through his head when he first sees Tav saving everyone and doing so righteously? I think it’s integral to Zevlor’s characterization that the game all but forces you to play the Good Guy in that initial encounter. A cut scene starts, you’re thrown into combat immediately afterwards, and unless you plan to start attacking the Grove members alongside the goblins (which the mechanics discourage through the coloring that distinguishes enemies from allies) you will always finish this fight as Zevlor’s hero. Sure, you can be an asshole afterwards and demand payment. You could already be plotting your betrayal and the slaughter of all the refugees. But in this moment you are nothing but a miracle made flesh in his eyes. Right from the start Tav is succeeding in all the ways Zevlor feels like he's failed. You're the hero.

More specifically, you’re an Every-Man Hero. We might have epic backstories for our Tavs, but within confines of the game you’re largely a nobody when not playing an Origin character. How powerful must that have been to witness then? A total stranger, someone who has no ties to the tieflings or even, depending on your class, any sworn reason to help others, putting their life on the line to save what is most precious to Zevlor? I think a lot about the fact that he never asks Wyll to step in and try to change Kagha’s mind. She owes him just as much as she does Tav—Wyll is an equal participant in that fight and, if your shoddy play style is anything like mine, he likely did more damage—and Wyll is clearly invested in the tiefling’s survival, training the kids as he is. Now, obviously Zevlor’s reticence is largely a question of assigned roles (we need to be the one engaging with Kagha because we’re the protagonist/player) but, like Zevlor’s choice to include himself in the Not a Fighter group, it would have been all too easy to explain this away within the narrative. One comment about how Wyll already tried and failed, or how Kagha doesn’t trust Warlocks, or hell, maybe you don’t meet Wyll in the Grove at all. It’s an easy thing to accomplish and though this is edging more into the realm of headcanon than anything else, I can’t help but think that Wyll isn’t the kind of person that Zevlor could turn to for help right now. Because he’s a folk hero. The Blade of Frontiers, known far and wide for his impressive, selfless deeds. Zevlor is struggling so hard to keep the tieflings safe, tempted by all the unsavory solutions that might achieve that, drowning in self-hatred as his past and current failings catch up with him, wanting nothing more than to be his peoples’ protector:

“I would be a paladin again—with a god’s purpose, a god’s power. Everything I needed to protect my people. And all the while, the cult tortured them. They fought, and ran, and died around me, while I imagined myself their savior.”

Three of the things Zevlor mutters while trapped in the pod are “Hellrider… for… life…,” “Trust… in me…,” and “Children… look away… look at me…” He wants to be the protector, the one children look to for reassurance, he wants his words to Tilly to be a lie and he wants a way to prove that he is a Hellrider for life… but he’s not. At least, Zevlor doesn’t believe it. He lost his titles while Wyll still proudly bears his. Wyll trains the children to fight while Zevlor can only get swept up in anger at them being threatened. The people trust Wyll, adore him, he’s the hero and Zevlor… is not. Not anymore.

It’s too painful to approach Wyll and admit all that. That would be a hell of a blow to Zevlor's pride. But Tav? A stranger? A nobody? The Every-man who had no reason to help or reputation pressuring them, saving them anyway? That’s inspiring. Someone like Tav could be the answer and even, perhaps, the proof that Zevlor could redeem himself. Neither of them are folk heroes, untouchable in their assumed perfection. Tav is a living, breathing example of how the flawed, everyday adventurer can be everything Zevlor strives for.

No wonder he won’t shut up about them in the Shadowlands.

All of this is why it’s so tragic that Zevlor wasn’t given a redemption arc. Sure, you can recruit him for the final battle against the Netherbrain, but there’s no quest to change the cast’s opinion of him—or change Zevlor’s opinion of himself. All his content at the end of Act 2 and Act 3 reinforces that self-hatred.

Let’s make a list, shall we?

Nearly every line of his reunion with Tav has Zevlor painting himself in the worst light possible, from “a lie kinder than the truth” to his refusal to join you because he believes he’ll stab you in the back. You cannot convince him of the Absolute’s manipulation and there’s no response to his belief that such horrors start within the person like, “Of course it does! Because we’re all flawed and equally capable of good and evil deeds! That potential doesn’t make you irredeemable, Zevlor, it makes you mortal!!”

He’s utterly failed as his peoples’ champion and he’s also deemed “unworthy” of being a True Soul. Obviously not being chosen by the Absolute is a good thing, but for a man drowning in self-loathing that’s one hell of a complicated rejection.

Nearly all the tieflings hate him now, all those people he’s been sacrificing his soul to keep safe. I found it particularly devastating that this is one of the rare occasions where nailing a persuasion check doesn’t change the person’s mind. There’s at least one tiefling at Moonrise (I’m drawing a blank on her name) who will believe you when you explain how the Absolute influenced Zevlor, but that doesn’t lead to forgiveness.

Zevlor is deemed unimportant on a literal, narrative level. He is very easy to miss in the pods (I nearly did on my first play-through) and the game does incredibly little to dissuade you from that mistake. Putting aside for a moment that obviously an Origin companion is more significant than a minor NPC, compare this to Shadowheart screaming from her own pod, the game making it abundantly clear that this is someone in need of help—someone worth rescuing. She’ll even say later that you could have run past, more concerned with your own survival and the big picture heroics to bother with her. How must it feel then, if Zevlor ever learns that Tav was there and never stopped for him?

If you do miss Zevlor… oh boy. We’ve probably all seen at least a recording of Orin’s so-called gift. There are plenty of characters who can meet untimely and devastating ends, but very few go through this level of horror. Zevlor—after being held captive, remember—is tortured by God’s Favorite Torturer. He is stripped of his personhood and reduced to a mere “message,” a “pet.” Zevlor is further humiliated in death by being literally stripped of his armor—not just vulnerable in his nakedness, but denied the last symbol of his faith, his status, his power—and it’s always struck me that this is the closest we see to him 'enjoying' an intimate moment, this parody in Orin’s painting. Zevlor is one of the NPC’s most in need of physical comfort and instead he’s forced into this torturous mockery of a sex scene. It also hits hard that when Tav first spots his body the narration says that Zevlor “might almost be sleeping.” Undoubtedly this is a man who isn’t taking good care of himself. He needs a good night’s rest, yet this horrifying trick is all he gets.

As if all this weren’t enough, most of your companion are VERY critical of Zevlor while commenting on his demise. It’s one thing for the tieflings to believe the worst given their ignorance and the fact that they are the ones who suffered from Zevlor’s failure, but your company understands the Absolute and the ways that she gets her hooks in people. Still, Astarion calls him a “wet rag” even if he did deserve better than this. Shadowheart wouldn’t have wished this on him either, but she can’t help but slip in a “no matter his failings.” Lae’zel, often the most blunt, straight up says that he was “always destined to fail his people—and to fail us.” Wyll shakes his head and intones that “even good intentions can lead us down deadly paths.” Only Gale and Karlach stick to mourning the dead rather than airing his shortcomings.

When I spoke to my allies before the final battle Zevlor didn’t have a cut scene. It became clear to me later that this must have been a bug in my play-through, but at the time it only reinforced my feelings that his story was incomplete. Looking on Youtube I’ve found recordings of him saying that he is a Hellrider once more and he would “die a proud man if [he] were to die this day”… but that rings as terribly hollow given where we left him. Last we were together, Zevlor was saying in no uncertain terms that he could not be trusted, he would fail again, he was unworthy of forgiveness. Where did this change of heart come from? It makes perfect sense that he would help Tav in this moment—he begs to be of some use after getting free—but not that he would present himself with such confidence. Within the story as it’s been told this feels… fake. Like Zevlor is putting on a mask to fit the mood of this lively, optimistic party. Which, in turn, gives the “I would die a proud man” line a terrifying implication to me. Does Zevlor expect to die this day? Does he intend to? What would persuade him not to lay down his life here and now? His mission is complete. The tieflings are safe—though not by his hand. There's no hero's welcome waiting for him after this battle. They hate him. He hates himself, and by his own admission the one thing that could still make him proud would be to die at Tav’s side, trying to do one last bit of good. If someone said that to me after everything Zevlor has been through I would keep them far away from the front lines.

(I did, for the record lol.)

I’m not saying anything new then when I go, “Larian, PLEASE add more to his story.” Give us a Zevlor side-quest to renew his oath. Let us invite him to our camp. Something to link the broken man mid-game and the confident fighter at the end so that the latter doesn’t feel like an alarm bell with two legs and a tail. I mean yeah, I get hooked on minor characters so 75% of this is simply me wanting more content of a fave, but I also I do legitimately believe that BG3’s story would benefit from tying up loose ends like this.

Zevlor is a fantastic character, someone who contains an astounding amount of complexity for so little screen time. You have to follow up on that complexity though. If he’s meant to be a purely tragic figure, okay, fine, that’s the ending you get with Orin. But one where he joins you with a smile and reclaims a title he's previously rejected with such fervor requires more work in the middle; a through-line that explains how someone with so much self-loathing learns to think of himself as the hero again.

Because it does all come down to Zevlor’s perception of himself. He was always a hero, flaws and all. He always was and always will be a Hellrider.

The UI knows what's up :)

[fanfoolishness]

Determination

Liesl Ingellvar attempts to figure out the puzzle that is Lucanis... with a little help. Set immediately after the almost-kiss. Rook x Lucanis, girl talk with Bellara, honesty and romance and adult conversations and fluff, 2223 words.

-

Liesl slumped down on Bellara’s cot, burying her face in her hands. “I’ve really messed things up.”

”No! I don’t think so,” said Bellara. “Start from the beginning!” She leaned forward, deeply intrigued, clearly as riveted as if it was one of her serials.

Liesl took a deep breath, trying to get it straight. It had only happened an hour ago. How did it seem like so much to remember? She thought back to Nevarra and to working through tricky spirit problems, one step at a time, finding the solution. She felt herself growing calmer. She was patient. She could figure this out. 

But it would probably be a little easier with a friend to be a sounding board.

”Spite had taken control of him again,” Liesl began. “He wanted to talk to me, and he was even more agitated than usual.” It always saddened her, seeing how Spite flailed and struggled in Lucanis’ body, how roughly Lucanis was forced to wrest back control. “It’s so unfair, Bellara. They’re both so miserable like that.”

“I know, Rook. It’s a terrible thing that was done to them,” Bellara said, shaking her head. “Did Spite do something? What happened next?”

“No. I waited for Spite to settle down. I knew Lucanis would want to know that he’d been safe, that he hadn’t hurt anything while he was sleepwalking.” She sighed, remembering the shame in his eyes; no matter how many times they contained Spite, Lucanis always came back to himself with that same expression. “He told me he was sorry, that he hadn’t wanted me to see him that way again.”

Bellara rested her chin on her hand, thinking. “Well, it’s not great that Spite was taking control, but it seems positive that Lucanis cares about what you think, right? Because he does. I mean, that’s been obvious for weeks. Neve and I called it ages ago!”

Liesl felt her cheeks warm, a faint smile raising her lips. “I thought so too.” So she hadn’t been imagining things these past several weeks, the way he so often turned to see her reaction to things. He weighed everyone’s words and actions carefully, an extension perhaps of his assassin’s training, discerning every detail in case it came in use later -- but he always seemed to linger on hers most of all.

“I told him I didn’t mind. And I don’t. I worry for both of them, but that’s different than it being a non-starter,” Liesl said earnestly. “You know how I feel about spirits. In the Watch we see all kinds of existences on mortal and immortal planes. I can see many ways both of them can heal.” She paused for a moment, giving Bellara a sheepish look. “I suppose it’s naive of me.”

Bellara waved a hand. “I’ve had my share of exes with… interesting issues,” she chuckled. “I get it. We all have baggage. His just glows more than most people’s.”

Liesl laughed, feeling a little better. “Very glowy indeed.” She leaned back on the cot, folding her legs up underneath her and holding out her hands to gesture. “All right. So I may have flirted a bit when I told him I didn’t mind everything with Spite, and he said ‘you deserve more than to deal with my mess.’”

“Aww!” Bellara said. “Was he trying to do the noble push you away because he’s too broody thing?”

“The very same,” Liesl said. “And it wasn’t a line like in a romance. He truly meant it.”

“How could you tell?”

“He’s a terrible liar.” She stopped. Her own words struck her like a blow. He’s a terrible liar.

What had those bedroom eyes, that lean against the wall, that almost kiss been but -- but a lie? An act?

Her mind whirled. “I’ve just realized something.”

“What?”

“I thought he was going to kiss me back there. He was suddenly so suave, so seductive -- it was absolutely fiery, I won’t lie, and I was so ready to take him up on it -- but -- that’s not him, Bel.” She let out a long breath. “He tried. And he couldn’t. And that’s when he backed off, said he had to clear his head, and he practically ran out of there. I saw him up on the steps outside, just… looking out at the Fade. Like he didn’t know what to do with himself.” She chewed on her lower lip, concerned for him. “I think maybe it wasn’t my fault. Maybe he scared himself. He was doing something he didn’t fully believe in.”

Bellara leaned back, crossing her arms over her chest and considering one of the many whirling enchantments dangling overhead. “I think you’re onto something.”

Liesl cracked a smile. “Now you sound like Neve.”

“Ooh, really? Thanks, Rook!” she laughed. “But let’s take it rationally. Have we ever heard Lucanis talk about a lover? Or a fling? Or… anyone, really, that way?”

“No. Everything has been the Crows, or the Ossuary, or family, or cooking. Or wyverns. He is very into wyverns,” Liesl said. “It’s… very cute, actually. I don’t know when I’m going to tell him where I got my scars.”

“You haven’t told him about the possessed wyvern of the Silent Plains? Shit, I remember hearing about that at the last Arlathven!” Bellara said in disbelief. “I mean, I didn’t know I’d meet you someday! But Clan Meridwhen thought you were amazing. We all heard the stories of the Dalish Mourn Watcher and the wyvern.”

“Well, really I got my ass kicked. Kind of embarrassing to know how far that story traveled!” Liesl said, reaching up to rub at one of the wide scars crossing her face. Even years later, the texture of her skin felt different, both thinner and more leathery than the rest of the cheek surrounding it. She shook her head, chuckling. “But anyway. No, I’ve never heard Lucanis talk like that about anyone. Even Illario hasn’t mentioned anything. I had assumed he was simply very private about such things.”

“Or maybe he’s never really had the chance,” Bellara said. “It sounds like his life was plotted out from day one. Maybe he never had the time, or the interest. And now he does, with Spite and the gods and everything going on --”

“And he doesn’t know where to begin.” She nodded to herself. The thought felt right. She’d gone backwards and forwards over what she’d said to him, and hadn’t been able to find where she could have scared him off. But she’d seen how harshly he judged himself in everything. Maybe this was like that, too. 

“You have a wild look in your eye, Rook,” Bellara said.

“Call it… determination.”

---

She thought she might have to search all over the Lighthouse for him. He wasn’t in the kitchen or his little pantry room, nor up the stairs, hiding out on his own. He wasn’t in the courtyard or in the meeting room. She thought of going round to everyone’s rooms until she found him, but she’d already pulled Bellara into this as her confidante, and she didn’t need everyone giggling about them. She decided to head back to her quarters for now, but to look for him after dinner. No matter what, they would figure this out today. Whether it was what she hoped for or the alternative, they needed to settle this, and she would see it done.

Except he was already there in her room, sitting on the settee, the line of his shoulders stiff and awkward and uncomfortable. He did not turn to look at her, although she cleared her throat as she entered. She sniffed the air, her heart thumping.

Cioccalata calda.

She sat down beside him, the silence stretching. He stared across the way at the Antivan coffee maker she had hauled in and set up with his help. Two cups sat before him, one empty with just the dregs of black coffee remaining, the other full. She reached out to touch her cup. Cold. 

She channeled a little fire between her fingertips, and the cioccalata calda steamed for her, its scent rich and full once more. She took the cup into her hands and took a careful sip, blowing on it first. It was delicious, even better than it had been at his favorite cafe.

“It’s wonderful,” she said, breaking the silence and turning to face him.

Lucanis tried to smile, but it was as if his mouth didn’t quite work. It was as stiff as his shoulders. “I am sorry it got cold. I did not get the timing right, it seems.”

“It’s all right,” Liesl said. “See? Good as new.” She took another sip, relishing the deep chocolate flavor, the warmth it built in her chest. Her leg shivered slightly with nerves, and she set the cup down before she could accidentally jitter it. “Lucanis --”

“Forgive me, Rook,” he said, ducking his head.

“For what?” she asked softly. “For flirting? For things… heating up? Or for stepping aside?”

“All of it,” he said miserably, still looking away from her.

She reached out to touch him, but hesitated, remembering how he’d stiffened when she brushed her finger against his chest. She’d thought then he was simply excited, but now she wasn’t so sure. She stopped, her hand hovering above his arm. “Is it all right if -- if I touch you?”

Lucanis turned back to her, eyes wide with a mixture of trepidation and want. “I… think I want you to. But I don’t know. And it is killing me.”

She let her hand fall back to her lap, despite how much she wanted to lay it along his arm. “What do you want, truly? I care about you, Lucanis. As a friend. As a member of this team. And as something more.” She gave him a crooked smile. “I’d like to… explore that with you. But if you’d rather we stay -- teammates -- I can do that.” The thought made her stomach sink, but if he didn’t want this, she needed to know. “I don’t want you to do anything you’re uncomfortable with.”

“I care about you, Rook,” he said, his dark brown eyes as earnest as ever. “I do. Even if I do not know how to show it.” He closed his eyes, rubbing at his face with one hand. “All of this is… new to me. You should be with someone who knows how --”

“Shh,” Liesl said. “You do show it.” She glanced down at her cup, the steam still wafting the sweet scent of chocolate. “Maybe we show it in different ways. Or on different schedules. But I’d like to figure it out with you.”

He smiled, disbelieving. “Could you really be that patient?”

Relief flooded through her. He did want this, and if he needed things on different terms or a different pace, she could do that. She could do it in spades. 

“Lucanis, I’m a Mourn Watcher. Some of our rituals take months to do properly. I can be patient, when it’s worth it.” She picked up the cup of cioccalata calda again and finished it, sighing contentedly. “Do you understand?”

He tilted his head, regarding her with that soft look she was starting to realize he only wore for her. “You are certainly worth it.”

“Right back at you. Believe it or not.”

He laughed then, a real and solid laugh, the sort that made his eyes crinkle and her knees go weak. “There you go again.”

“Parting the clouds of doom?” she asked playfully.

“It is your specialty. One I can hardly believe I deserve.” He smiled again. “I have kept you long enough. I should go.” He reached out to take the empty cup from her hand, cupping one hand around its outer edge. Then he reached up with his other hand, laying it haltingly over her own. 

He was trembling. So was she, if she was to be honest. She looked into his face, checking for the confident mask he’d tried to wear earlier, for a sign that this wasn’t really what he wanted. But his face was open and trusting, raw and vulnerable in a way she could scarcely bear. She swallowed, drinking in the moment.

His hand was warm, callused, strong against hers. His thumb shyly caressed the back of her hand, stroking soft arcs across her skin. One breath, two, three. She ached for more, and yet was wholly satisfied with this moment, with him.

He nodded, then carefully took the cup from her hand, breaking the connection. She let out a long, slow breath and was gratified to see him do the same.

Lucanis reached out with his other hand, taking his empty coffee cup and getting to his feet. He gazed down at her. “I like your plan.”

“Which plan is that?” Liesl asked, leaning back. She beamed at him.

“To figure this out… Together,” he said, his voice rough with emotion.

“Ah,” Liesl said. “Yes. That.” She held his gaze for a moment longer, her giddy grin going suddenly shy.

“Thank you, Rook.” He turned and walked away, a clear lightness in his step.

Liesl sank back onto the settee, closing her eyes, picturing Lucanis’s deep brown eyes, the touch of his hand, the warmth of his smile. 

Ah. That had gone rather well.

She couldn’t wait to tell Bellara.

[zenfiii]

My favorite ships of all time.. but as lesbians‼️‼️+ why i love these ships

Why i love these ships: they're stupid together

Anyway hope you like my designs!! Even if some are barely noticeable 🫠

(I'll be adding the qijiu drawing later!!)

(real reasons under the cut)

Clarification: they are not listed according to which one I like the most‼️ I have also only chosen the one I like the most, but there are many others ships that I enjoy as much as these! It's just that these have a special place in my heart (not to mention it's like four in the morning and I'm not going to draw more lol). With that said, let's see why I like these ships 😯

Torisai: Watching the series, Toritsuka became my favourite character because of how funny he was and especially because of his relationship with Saiki. Already when Saiki threatened him in the bathroom and half kabedoned him the gears in my head started working.

These two ironically are very close. Throughout the whole series Toritsuka has been very clingy with Saiki and even though Saiki himself despises and insults him, he actually cares and trusts him enough to do something as important as the volcano problem. They have this hate-love-hate relationship that I love, because Tori practically praises him while Saiki treats him like a germ, but, in the end, whether he wants to or not, he gives in (that's a lie, he doesn't, but let's pretend he does).

Saiki is practically a god to Tori and Tori is more of a problem to Saiki. They can't stand each other many times but they need each other's help on many other occasions. I love them I hope they get run over.

(I know I'm not saying much, but it's been a while since I've seen the series. If I rewatch it, I'll probably write this again with more details!!)

˚‧⁺ �� ˖ ·

Zensung: For many years my otp was yooran, BUT I discovered that this ship actually existed and OMG. I've always been a multishipper, I believe that love is the solution to everything, and for a long time I was exploring other ships but this one I had never seen, when I did everything changed, seriously.

Their dynamic, their chemistry and their relationship both inside and outside the canon UGH. They've always had that big brother/little brother type of relationship, very adorable and all, but what happens when one of them starts to have feelings for the other? Then everything becomes more complicated because these seemingly innocent acts can suddenly have a different meaning. Going over to each other's house unannounced suddenly isn't so comfortable, being so close is suffocating, and the touching is too much to bear.

On Yoosung's part the problem comes more from the fact that he is his friend, and not only that, his incredibly attractive friend. And on Zen's part there is the fact that he is a man, and not only that, a man he actually finds very cute. So they have this awkward dynamic of not knowing how to approach each other properly and it's so delicious. I could read thousands of fanfics where it's just them trying to figure out what's the best way to just accept these feelings. Very cute, hopefully they kiss mua.

˚‧⁺ ･ ˖ ·

Xiaoven: When I wasn't playing genshin yet I came across some very nice art of them on Instagram. When I started playing Venti quickly became my favourite character. Shortly after that I got to know the pairing he had with Xiao and I found it. So cute. I did some research and saw that there was a lot of stuff around them and thought "wow, that's cool!! From so much content I'm sure a lot of people love it". Er. What a surprise when I realised that for a long time it's been one of the most hated ships in the community and I was like ???? I couldn't understand why, and to this day I still don't understand why it's so hated jksjdks.

Anyway. Why I like it is very simple. They're cute together. Xiao who has been isolating himself from everyone and everything actually has someone he holds dear to his heart because not only has he saved him, he constantly helps him and keeps him company. A pure soul who is there and embraces him with all that he is. And on Venti's side, although it doesn't seem like it, he actually is pretty much alone, all his friends, most of them, dead. And it's not like he can visit the ones that are alive. He is a free soul but, essentially he is lonely. He spends his nights with Xiao because he is someone he can trust, and secretly Venti hopes to spend more nights with him. Ayyy my kids how I love them, if I could I would put them in a little box and keep them away from everything bad in this world.

˚‧⁺ ･ ˖ ·

Ivantill: My lovely kids! I love them because they have this whole complicated story, how Till loves Ivan but doesn't show it, and how Ivan wants Till to look at him but does it with violence because he doesn't know how to express it normally!! Well none of them know how to do it normally but uh, yeah.

Quite recent, but their story is very good! Although to be honest I don't really like angst and prefer to draw them happy, so I'll stick with au's!! I'd rather shamelessly cover my eyes and think they're happy than see how they've really ended up lol. Although that has its own beauty too, I just prefer the adorable stuff.

˚‧⁺ ･ ˖ ·

[goodqueenaly]

i didn't know if you answered this before but i'm curious about what you think of alysanne and viserra's relationship. jaehaerys is a pretty bad dad to most of his daughters esp. but alysanne seemed fine to me in f&b except with viserra for some reason. she seems weirdly accusing towards her own daughter? like it's fine if viserra reminds her of saera in personality but she seemed more forgiving of the daughter that caused a huge scandal and left westeros than the one she thought of as too ambitious. like viserra wanting to marry baelon. alyssa was dead at that point, and it was possible baelon could take a second wife if he wanted. they are targs so a brother-sister marriage isn't out of the question. why was she so against it that she thought marrying viserra to old man manderly was the solution? it felt like an out of proportion punishment to me, especially because there were plenty of other heirs in westeros that were likely age appropriate. it wasn't even a pragmatic decision bc lord manderly already had a heir. what do you think?

More under the cut:

I have said before and I’ll say it again, I very strongly dislike the Viserra portion of Fire and Blood. I consider the Viserra story exceptionally poorly written, in a book that I find overall to be a subpar expression of the author’s genuine talent. Viserra exists in this narrative, I believe, only to be a B-tier version of her sister Saera, a villain in her parents’ story rather than a multi-dimensional character in her own right. Fire and Blood does not present Viserra as a sympathetic, much less heroic or laudatory, figure, but rather as a Rich Bitch, a Vamp, a “sly” schemer whose (so the story portrays) selfishness to the point of death emotionally devastated her mother and contributed to a break in the relationship between king and queen. 

I’ve also gone on the record as saying that the writing around the marriages of Jaehaerys and Alysanne’s daughters in Fire and Blood seems to me largely clumsy, irrational, and/or just plain nonsensical. Politico-dynastic justifications are almost nonexistent in these unions or would-be unions, with instead a bizarre (for the blue-blooded actors in-universe) emphasis on marriages for love. (That the Lord of the Seven Kingdoms is seen to refuse virtually any responsibility or agency in selecting spouses for his daughters speaks volumes to how absurd Fire and Blood’s approach to these marriages is.) Consequently, trying to apply anything resembling what we might call standard royal or aristocratic logic to the question of Viserra’s marriage is, I think, an ultimately futile task. While Fire and Blood makes half-hearted attempts to explain some alleged gain from Viserra’s betrothal to Lord Manderly, ultimately the explanation is at best thin and does not support Alysanne’s vehement insistence that Viserra marry Theomore 

So all that said - what do I take away at the end of the day regarding the relationship between Alysanne and Viserra? Perhaps the least sinister - emphasis on least - reading of the situation is that Alysanne wanted Viserra to have what Alysanne believed would be a loving marriage with a man Alysanne believed would care for Viserra. The argument from Alysanne in favor of Lord Manderly was largely founded on what Alysanne believed were Theomore’s personal qualities: Gyldayn notes that the queen “was very fond of him … remembering the warm welcome he had given her during her first visit to the North” and later insisted to Viserra that Lord Manderly was “a good man … a wise man, with a kind heart and a good head on his shoulders”. Having idealized the similarly much older (certainly relatively to his prospective bride) Rodrik Arryn because Lord Arryn was “a kind and gentle man” who had “loved our little girl for years”, a man Alysanne said she knew would “protect her [i.e. Daella]”, perhaps Alysanne saw Theomore in much the same light - a kind elder statesman who would watch over and guard his princess bride and whose longstanding loyalty to the royal couple was cherished.  

It’s also possible, I think, that in line with such a personal, even sentimental approach to marriage making, Alysanne was reluctant to have Viserra replace her daughter Alyssa as Baelon’s wife. Alysanne, after all, had been the one to champion the Baelon-Alyssa marriage, declaring to Jaehaerys that “Alyssa [was] for Baelon” because “[s]he ha[d] been following him around since she could walk” and the siblings were “as close as you and I were at their age”. In turn, perhaps Alysanne had decided that no one could, or should, replace Alyssa as Baelon’s beloved wife - including, maybe especially, the ambitious Viserra. Alysanne critically observed that Viserra “aim[ed] much higher” than the boys and squires she apparently teased, and that Baelon was “the husband she desire[d], but “not for love of him”, only out of a desire “to be the queen” - an objection seemingly prioritizing love over political ambition, with Alysanne clearly believing Viserra had only the latter. Having herself eloped with Jaehaerys for love, to escape an unwanted political union with Rogar Baratheon’s brother Orryn, Alysanne may have wanted to avoid a marriage made only for the political advantage of one of the spouses (while, of course, completely apparently failing to recognize Vserra’s eventually fatal desperation to do the same as her mother had ahead of her Manderly marriage)

Too, in the aftermath of both the Saera affair and the search for a husband for Daella, I think Alysanne may have been unwilling to let Viserra have a personal court of young noblemen from which to choose her suitors and/or eventual husband. Having herself censured Saera for the sexual relationships the latter engaged in with three aristocrats of an age with her, and having witnessed Jaehaerys’ brutal response to that situation (including Jaehaerys’ cruel opinion that Saera “always was” a “whore”), Alysanne may have believed that the only way to prevent a similar situation was to remove Viserra from her court of admirers (and, of course, her father) and send her to the other side of Westeros. The solution, as Alysanne had determined for Daella, was to find Viserra a great lord for a husband who give her “wealth and position” while also being (as Gyldayn described Rodrik Arryn) “a leal friend to both king and queen”, an “able lord, strong but just, affable, open-handed, loved by the smallfolk and his lords bannermen alike”.

Again, these explanations do not at all justify either the lack of apparent political value to the marriage or the seeming inability or unwillingness of Alysanne to recognize the creepiness inherent in such a union. At no point did Alysanne (much less Jaehaerys, who again inexplicably washed his hands of the matter) seem to consider that a lord with multiple children and grandchildren already could offer little in the way of long-term dynastic investment in exchange for the significant boon one of the only remaining royal children, nor seemingly consider whether the Starks would have been a viable alternative solution (or, indeed, what the Starks who apparently resented what I call the Donation of Alysanne would have thought of the king and queen betrothing their daughter to their richest and perhaps most powerful bannerman). Too, just as I previously noted how much of a fucking creep Rodrik Arryn was, (and, by extension, how disturbing it was that first Alysanne and then Jaehaerys seized so eagerly on him as a husband for Daella), so I need to emphasize here that Alysanne was actively, and equally disturbingly, championing marrying off her 15 year old daughter to a man probably at least five decades her senior (described even by Gyldayn as “old” when this marriage was being arranged), who had himself already been married four times. (Jaehaerys should also be criticized here, of course, for his complete lack of empathy for or engagement, no pun intended, in Viserra’s nuptial dilemma.) In every way, it’s a bad story.

(Those are just the least sinister interpretations, I believe. I’m not even dealing with Elio Garcia’s “Alysanne was allegedly jealous of Viserra's beauty and charm and wanted her away from court for that reason” because I can’t deal with another example of him making a bad book that much worse. Nor do I really want to engage with the much more substantively awful theories around Jaeherys’ treatment of his daughters. It would be interesting to speculate how much Alysanne feared Viserra’s eagerness to become Baelon’s wife in order to push Baelon as the heir presumptive ahead of Princess Rhaenys, but that would have required the author to care even remotely about describing the politico-dynastic dynamic around the succession.)

[cephalofrog]

been playing rain world and thinking about saint again recently

full rain world spoilers below

I hate the "saint is the triple affirmative" interpretation. hate even more how it appears to have become the accepted truth in the fandom

first off, my dislike for this interpretation is not logical. it isn't something I can be convinced out of using canon evidence, because my reason for not interpreting the story this way is not evidence-based, it's because I don't find it to be a satisfying conclusion to the entire story of rain world.

but here's some rambling about logical reasons why it doesn't make sense anyway

if saint was created as the triple affirmative by sliver, that makes them extremely old - they came into existence LONG before spearmaster's campaign even started. if they came into existence with the purpose of ascending iterators, they sure took a long time to ascend any iterators - like okay, travel time and whatever, but you'd think they'd get at least one or two more before all the iterator comms break down entirely post-spearmaster. SM and hunter managed to get from SRS and NSH to the pebbs/moon area pretty quickly.

they also have fur, which seems to be an adaptation for the cold judging by the lizards in the campaign, despite the world not being cold at the point at which they were created. this could be easily explained by sliver just being very forward-thinking, but...

if sliver created saint, their entire triple affirmative thing comes across as incredibly thoughtless, which imo contrasts with sliver being forward-thinking enough to make saint immune to cold. like they finally created the magical rat that will ascend them all but didn't even think to send out a message beforehand like "hey guys I'm trying something new if I send out the triple affirmative and die right after this it worked and you should be visited by a flying green dude with an ascension beam at some point in the future"

there's also the thing of... wait so how does this whole iterator ascension work again? cause saint's timeline loops. after they ascend, they end up back in sky islands, with the iterators back where they were. this could be explained by "later playthrough loops aren't canon and pebbs and moon are ascended if you got em" but there's literally a specific gameplay mechanic - carrying stuff in your stomach between campaigns - meant to make it clear that the campaign is a loop.

anyway. the real reason I hate the theory isn't related to any of this - it's that it absolutely destroys pebbles and moon's story, thematically speaking.

sliver of straw's triple affirmative/death is a random event that could mean basically anything. the futility pebbles felt around trying to solve the great problem caused him to assign meaning to sliver's death that wasn't necessarily there - they found the solution, and it was self-destruction. that's what they were trying to tell everyone. it wasn't a random event, the triple affirmative was real. one of the bugs in the maze found the way out, and he's going to prove it to everyone by following them and escaping.

and that's what leads to the events of the main story. this random event - this horrible tragedy, the death of someone who seemed to mean so much to so many people - was assigned meaning by someone desperate to prove that his entire existence, and the existences of everyone around him, are not futile. the ancients created the iterators without knowing whether the answer to the great problem could ever be found, and this is the result of that.

a nihilistic, hopeless person, abandoned by his creators to work forever on an unsolvable problem, assigns meaning to a random tragedy, and tunnel visions on what he has to believe is what he's been looking for - because it is an unimaginable understatement to say that the alternative would be worse than death. and then, in his self-destructive desperation, he kills his sibling* and dooms himself to the slowest, most painful death imaginable. this is the legacy of the ancients' dead society, the result of all of their stupid ideals and obsession with karmic perfection. (*as far as he knows)

but saint being the triple affirmative undermines all of that. not only does it make sliver's death less of a tragedy and more of a noble sacrifice - like yeah, sure, they were loved, but solving the great problem was far more important - but it also makes pebbles look less desperate and more just kinda stupid. like you thought that the solution was self-destruction? nah, it's a magical flying rat. in this version of the story, pebbles wasn't striving for something that didn't exist, he was just not smart enough to figure out the real solution.

even outside of canon evidence, that sucks. it causes pebbles' story to go from being about how you should value the people around you over the impossible striving that life always seems to expect from you or you're gonna end up hurting them and yourself to how you should just be smarter to find the right solution to all of your problems.

anyway as for my own interpretation of saint, I think that the campaign is just a representation of what it's like to be an echo. reliving the moments that led up to your failed ascension over and over, reaching maximum karma and gaining superpowers because you're just that karmically pure - you are a saint, after all - and then letting your ego consume you at the crucial moment of ascension, over and over again, cycling into infinity. (I don't think they actually had superpowers prior to ascending, I just think that they kinda thought of themselves so highly that they thought they should have those powers.) then contrast this with the world as the age of the iterators and the rain finally ends, and you have an unchanging echo reliving the same few cycles over and over contrasted with a world that is, at last, changing and moving on.

yeah it doesn't make sense with the joint iterator dialogue in rubicon (at least, the final line doesn't make sense). I don't care. it's what makes me happy as an interpretation. you can pry my morally dubious hypocritical ego-driven saint from my cold dead hands

[nilnether]

After Zoe's interview where she said Sullys would "go their separate ways" I've seen a lot of people worrying about Jake's and Neytiri's marriage.

“It’s going to be an emotional roller coaster,” she says. “The way ‘The Way of Water’ ended was unimaginably painful for the Sully family. Now, they have to make really strong decisions. Do they stay united and find common ground, or do they go their separate ways? And God knows what’s going to happen to the existing children.”

I think they do have different ideas on how this war should go as we saw even in ATWOW with Jake being tired of war (he avoids it until he can no more) and Neytiri wanting to just fight until all the invaders are gone (she's right but it's easier said then done). Fallout from Neteyam's death and the whole thing with Spider (staying with them, Quaritch) won't help either. Still, I don't see them breaking up ever. I think they will just make choices that will separate the family.

I have some ideas about what will happen but these rely on leaks (here if you want to read them) and other spoilers so only click below if you don't mind spoilers/already know.

I think the Sully family is getting physically separated - 1. because the kids are being sent away for safety and 2. because Jake is getting captured by RDA. And the strong decisions are what they have to make in each case.

After Spider gets his ability to breathe, he is set to become prime target for RDA since they would love to have that for their people. And Jake is already a prime target, even more after the SeaDragon battle and after he gets back into the fight and creating anti-RDA alliance. Sending kids away from the main forces means they are less likely makes sense but it also means their parents aren't there to protect them. I think they will all be sent back to Awa'atlu including Spider to Neytiri's displeasure.

It seems like a lot of the movie will also separate Jake and Neytiri during different events. We see only Jake is there during the initial escape from Ash Na'vi with the kids and Quaritch (Neytiri finds them later with the rescue party as Quaritch escapes with Wainfleet). This means Jake has to cooperate with Quaritch and they seem to be able to reach a temporary truce. This also shows Quaritch willing to soften his stance as he's not as hellbent on killing Jake as he was during AWOTW. He is now willing to bring him in alive (dead only if he has to).

This matters because there are indications that Jake does get captured eventually. There was a material (now removed) in behind the Scenes showing Jake in handcuffs with Quaritch and Wainfleet and attacking Parker Selfridge. It is possible that it's also Jake in orange prison jumpsuit on the screenshot showing Quaritch and Lyle in some high tech room (possibly on board the Factory Ship).

So this initial moment of cooperation to save the kids probably keeps Jake alive later. I'm sure, however, it didn't make Neytiri happy that he let the man responsible for the attack that killed Neteyam just leave. Not after all they went through in that battle.

She certainly seems to disagree about sending Spider with the kids. She might be right since both he and Jake get captured by RDA, possibly because Jake finally doesn't abandon Spider, but her solution seems to be to kill Spider instead so no wonder they don't see eye to eye there. (BTW I hope the implication she would rather have him dead is either a misreading or gets toned down like Parents from Hell were).

And it seems like the kids each will go in their own direction to - Spider captured and maybe experimented on because of his new ability; Kiri investigating her new abilities; Lo'ak becoming even closer with Payakan and maybe other tulkun. They too probably only come together again at the end.

But I think this capture of Jake is their big separation. I think Jake will try to keep Spider safe instead of abandoning him this time and that will get him captured. I think that finding that common ground about Spider with Quaritch will keep him alive. And I have no doubt Neytiri will lead the effort to free Jake while he will try his best to come back to his family. Possibly in that big Sea Battle we saw teased.

This might be after the rescue

[diabolica45]

Okay, I've been thinking about Sinners (yet again), and I want to talk about that scene where Cornbread gets turned, and tries entering the juke joint.

SO! The first time Remmick and Co try breaking in, they aren't successful - and their efforts to join in on the singing fall flat and unnerve Smoke and Gang ( their "Picked Poor Robin Clean" bit"). And of course it does! For one, their song clashes with the joint's because they're not of the same culture - and they look garish for trying, even as they think they're winning them over. Remmick doesn't understand that just singing isn't enough to sway the group into trusting him - and his "we believe in equality and music" bit only makes them more suspicious. Frankly, it's the exact thing a "woke" White person might say in trying to assure Black people that they're on their side - and the reductiveness of the statement only reveals just how little he knows about what it means to be allied with Black people (and marginalized people in general, but I digress.)

(I think this is also telling of Remmick's character, too. You mean to tell me this man's been alive for who knows how many centuries and hasn't had one meaningful conversation on being an ally with one Black person?? The best he can come up with is "we believe in equality, and music" ??? #fakeally...)

But! Tangent aside, what I think is especially telling is the moment of realization that he has when the twins tell him to go elsewhere.

"Oh, this is because we're..." with the implied word being "White". And oh, do I have thoughts on this...

Remmick and Co. are being barred because they're White - but not on the same basis a Black person would be persecuted for being Black in a White establishment. To a White person doing this, the exclusion comes from a place of hate (they don't like Black people and want to kill them). To a Black person, though, it's completely different (they don't like White people because of their penchant for killing Black people). But! Remmick could never understand that - and to him, the answer is that if he were Black, they'd let him in.

So, he finds a "solution" in Cornbread.

This is such an important scene to me, because when Remmick and Co. turn Cornbread and invade his mind, they essentially just use him as a puppet through which their White voices speak, and it's never made more plain that this is what's happened than when he goes to the door. It's my theory that, though all the vampires share a sort of hivemind once they're turned, Remmick suppresses Cornbread's voice when he returns to the joint, and that's why he sounds so off. He speaks over Cornbread because he thinks that now that they can't see him anymore, there should be no problem - but there still is!!

It's my belief that had Cornbread been able to talk as himself (like Mary had), they probably would have let him in. But! He's not himself anymore - he's Remmick, who thinks he's solved the problem of being too White to enter the joint. But no matter how hard he tries convincing them that he is safe to enter... they all call Cornbread out for being essentially possessed. Remmick is not a Black man and doesn't know anything about how to exist in a Black space as part of the community - and so he can't converse with other Black people as a Black man, even if he does wear Cornbread's skin. But he never asks, even when he has a whole congregation of Black people to talk to about this, because he doesn't care about equality between Black and White people.

Honestly, the Cornbread scene was, to me, one of the eeriest scenes in the movie - and I feel like I was kind of all over the place about it, but I might make another post about this later once I get my thoughts in order. So yea!

[mystrangeadd1ct1on]

College days

Pairing: Stephen!Strange x Fem!reader

Summary: You and Stephen went to college together, but after senior year, you had to separate. Now, years later, you meet again unexpectedly, which makes things tense.

Tags: fluff, slight angst?

Word count: barely 3k

A/n: thought this would be much longer, but I really cannot write long fics — tips and advices are very welcomed! Anyways, enjoy!

Last few weeks of your life were very... floaty. Literally. Objects levitating around you without a reason and random blasts of energy escaping your palms. What is that even supposed to mean? This can't be some magic, can it? Magic doesn't exist, it was just made up as entertainment for fairytales — you thought. Though, there was no other reasonable explanation. But what you knew was, that you can't possibly deal with this on your own.

What first came to your mind, was to seek help from the Avengers. People who daily deal with danger and some of them have superpowers on their own. They'll know what to do, you thought.

So now, here you were, sitting in the Avengers tower while the famous Tony Stark stood infront of you trying to figure out what to do.

“We’re not exactly experts on magic, so we can't really help you.” he simply said. Well, that was disappointing.

You still sat there dumbfounded and practically hopeless. Honestly, Tony Stark didn't even really look like someone who would be interested in helping people with such things. Just some another arrogant man. It felt almost... Familiar.

You hummed as a response. You looked down, deep in your thoughts. Thinking where you should look for help now. You didn't know anything about magic, nor know someone who deals with it.

Tony's voice cut through your thoughts: “You can stay here for a few days until we find someone to help you.” he sighed.

You briefly smiled. “Thank you.”

He exited the room, probably heading to do more important things. Leaving you alone with thoughts and feelings. You never wanted this power, not really. But they'll find someone to help you, right?

***

It was just the next day and to your surprise, Tony already found a solution.

You walked out of the room they gave you to stay in and saw Tony chatting with a tall man. He was dressed in blue robes and a red cape with a collar. His hair was dark with grey streaks on his temples and a perfectly trimmed goatee on his chin.

They both turned around when they heard you enter and that’s when it hit you.

This couldn’t be... It would be too coincidental. You’re probably imagining things.

“Y/N, this is Doctor Strange. He’s a wizard and will help you with your powers.”

Oh, God. It was him. You weren’t sure if you should be happy or upset now that you’re in the same room as him again.

You glanced up at him just to find him with the same realization on his face.

“Stephen?”

“Y/N?” you both said almost at the same time. The way he said your name still sounded so familiar. A wave of nostalgia tingled through you.

Tony confusely looked between you and shook his head. “Alright... I'll give you two space.” and he left.

Still in shock you both stood there. Silence hanging in the air. What should you possibly say after seeing someone after almost a decade?

“Didn’t expect they’d call you to help me.” you broke the silence awkwardly.

“Didn’t expect you'd be the one needing help.” he said back. He still got that damn smirk he always did. The one that made your stomach flutter and apparently, it still does.

It was visible he tried to avoid eye contact. You could tell he was taken away by the sudden meeting just as much as you were.

“What happened with you? After college, I mean.” you hesitantly asked.

“I started my career as a neurosurgeon. Then I endured a car accident — which made me unable to do my job — and now im here.” he finally looked up at you, but something in his expression was unsure. Like he was regretting everything that caused being away from you for years.

“And you?” he added.

“I discovered this power I need help with,” you chuckled, trying to lighten up the atmosphere. But Stephen did not laugh, his mouth didn't even twitch. He still stayed composed and serious.

“We should get going then,” he quickly opened a portal to the Sanctum leaving you in shock, but you didn't comment on it. You just disbelievingly shook your head and stepped through.

*FLASHBACK*

You ran through the halls, trying to find your class. First day of the freshman year in college and you were already late.

Not the best first impression for your first big lecture, but the campus map had been confusing, and now you stood at the doorway, scanning the room for an empty seat.

The professor didn’t look up as he continued his lecture. You could tell he was probably more than used to people arriving late.

Most seats were taken — groups had already formed, students seated together like they’d known each other for years instead of hours.

Except—

“Hey,” a voice called quietly from the back.

A guy sat there, leaning back in his chair. Dark hair, sharp features, fingers lazily twirling a pen between them.

“There’s a seat here.”

With a deep breath, you walked over, sliding into the chair without looking at him.

“Rough first day?” he asked, voice low enough that only you could hear.

You kept your eyes on the professor. “Map's confusing.”

He chuckled under his breath. “Or you’re just bad with directions.”

Your head snapped toward him, ready to snap back with a sharp remark, but the grin on his face made you pause.

Cocky. Unapologetic.

"Stephen," he said, offering his hand.

"Y/N," you replied, shaking it briefly.

"Nice to meet you,Y/N," he repeated your name slowly, like he was testing how it sounded. “Stick with me. I don’t get lost.”

You rolled your eyes, pulling your hand back. “Right. Because you’re perfect, aren’t you?”

Stephen smiled wider, leaning in just slightly.

“Maybe.”

Considering you've met him just few minutes ago, you could already tell he was an arrogant man you did not want to stick with.

You turned your attention back to the professor, determined not to let him get under your skin. But you could feel his eyes on you. And somehow, you knew this wasn’t the last time you’d hear that voice.

***

You stood by the board, scanning the list of names for study groups forming for the semester. Most groups were already full.

"Looking for someone to keep up with?"

You didn’t have to turn to know who it was. The voice was already stuck in your mind since the first day you heard it.

“Stephen,” you sighed. “Do you follow me around, or is it just my bad luck?”

He didn't answer. He stepped beside you, glancing at the sheet.

“Lucky for you, I saved a spot in my group.”

You raised a brow. “Why?”

He shrugged. “Figured you might get lost again.”

You scoffed slightly and rolled your eyes. You stared at the paper, then back at him.

Cocky. Persistent. But something about him wasn’t as put-together as he seemed.

"Fine," you muttered, scribbling your name under his. "But this doesn't mean we're some friends or anything."

Stephen smirked. “Of course not.”

***

Days, then weeks went on. And guess what? You did not get rid of him. He actually offered you free lectures.

He wasn’t that type of a guy to play football and pick up hot girls, no. But he was such a nerd.

“I still think you’re wrong about that nerve pathway,” you said as you packed your notes.

Stephen laughed, slinging his bag over his shoulder. “Prove me wrong then.”

You shot him a look. “Don’t tempt me.”

“I wouldn’t dare.”

The teasing came so natural with him. You didn’t even notice how much you looked forward to those study sessions until they became routine.

And maybe you should’ve realized sooner—

The late nights in the library. The way he always waited for you after class. The coffee orders he remembered without asking. Maybe Stephen Strange was going to matter more than you ever expected.

*PRESENT DAY*

“So... You live here?” you looked around. Everything looked ancient — the walls, the furniture, the equipment...

“Guess you can say that.” he paced around the room, his back turned to you and his cloak was swinging with each movement.

“How did you even turn into...” you wave around with your hand. ”...this? I thought you never believed in magic.”

“You’re asking too much questions, Y/N.” he stopped mid-step to turn around and look at you.

“You’re really that surprised? I haven't seen you in years. And yet you still look...”

“...the same?” he guessed.

“Familiar.” you murmured and looked away.

After a moment, which felt like eternity of silence, he gently asked in a low voice:

“Did you move on? Found someone else?”

Hesitating at first, but eventually you shaked your head.

“what about you?”

“No one.” he took a step closer.

You chuckled slightly. “I thought you forgot about me.”

He chuckled as well. “I would never.”

He had the same look in his eyes like he looked at you years ago. The look he only had for you. The one that made you feel like you're the only person on Earth. But he broke the gaze eventually.

“But you're not here to talk about the past, are you? Tell me something about the powers.” he took a step back to pace around the room again.

“I don't even know how I got them. Things just started being weird and I couldn’t control it.”

“Started being weird... how?” he echoed.

“Things flying around, random blasts of energy...” you hesitated. Unable to focus on the actual problem. “I just really can't believe im seeing you again. You're here and alive and... You've become something you apparently never wanted.”

Stephen smiled and looked down.

“Yeah, I can't believe it either.” he muttered.

*FLASHBACK*

A knock echoed through your dorm room coming from the hall. It couldn’t possibly be your rommate, she went to her family’s house for the weekend. Unlike you, stuck in the campus. Then obviously it couldn’t be anyone else than Stephen, you thought. Interrupting your late-night studying, sneaking in your room so you can't have anything done. Like a needy puppy that needs attention all the time.

You eventually got up from your bed and headed towards the door. As soon as you opened you saw that familiar face that has been following you around since you officially accepted his request to be his girlfriend. And he had that smirk on his face he always did.

“Well, about time you let me in. I almost got caught by the RA's for sneaking out past curfew.” he slipped into the room past you.

“It’s not my fault you’re coming over, like, every night.”

“You’re saying it like it bothers you,” he sat down on your bed like it belongs to him.

“Maybe because I can't get anything done.” you slowly walked towards him. He was staring up at you.

“You should thank me then. We both know you're already too smart to bother with studying.”

“Very funny.” You sarcastically snorted.

“I mean it.” he reached for your hand. His touch was so soft and warm. He gently guided you to sit beside him.

Silently he glazed into your eyes like he was searching a sign of discomfort — which he didn't find. He slowly leaned in and the next you felt was his warm lips against yours. Everything around faded, it was just you two. Or so you thought. It wasn't long until it was interrupted.

Another knock on the door following with a voice saying: “Room check.”

The RA's ruining everything once again.

Instinctively you pulled away. You two stared at each other for a while. Stephen then quickly realized they shouldn't see them in the same room at such time, so, he got up and quickly hid in the closet.

The RA's opened the door and peaked in while you sat innocently on the bed. Soon they realized everything is fine, and they left.

You exhaled in relief and got up to open the closet Stephen was hiding in. He quickly stepped out.

“That was close.” he said.

“Yeah,” you chuckled.

“Thought you’d be mad,” he said almost confused. “y’know, giving me lectures how this is all my fault, that we almost got caught being together after curfew.”

“I could,” you stepped closer to him. “but I think I’m enjoying this more.”

He smiled down at you. You couldn’t hold back, so you pressed your lips to his again. He was being very annoying sometimes, but you still loved him. And the campus rules did not stop you.

*PRESENT DAY*

“I don't know what to do” you looked anywhere but his face.

“Lucky for you, because I’m here to help you with the powers.” he said casually.

“I didn’t mean that. I mean, what should we do now? We can't pretend like nothing happened years ago, but at the same time it would be weird to...” you stopped mid-sentence.

“Get together again?” he finished for you.

“I didn’t say that.”

“You meant it.”

You sighed at his statement. You couldn't deny he was right, because he was.

“Well, just so you know... Im open.” he suddenly said. “I wouldn’t mind getting back together. After all, I never really moved on...”

You looked up at him, really looked at him. This is so weird. How did you even ended up here? You were never supposed to see each other again after you separated. And now, you we're trying to figure out, if you even still have feelings for him.

“I'll think about it.” you eventually said. He silently nodded before showing you a room in the Sanctum where you could stay for now until you sort out all this mess.

***

It was late, but sleeping felt like a challenge. You stared at the ceiling, mind wandering to him — Stephen. It was too much happening at once. You were here with him, in some ancient building you never even noticed before while walking through New York streets. And apparently, he was still the same nerd like he was in college, just not to medicine anymore.

You knew there was not any point in trying to sleep, so you got up and walked around the halls. You reached the top floor and found a big, oddly-looking window. It had a nice view to the night sky. What a nice place to think. Thats what he’s been probably doing here too.

*FLASHBACK*

“So... This is it?”

You stood across from each other in graduation clothes. His warm hands held yours. You were leaving to another country to start a career, while he was staying in New York.

“I don't want you to go.” he muttered.

“I know. I don't want to go either.”

“Then stay.”

“It doesn't work like that, Stephen.”

He pulled you closer and rested his head on top of yours. He held you close as if he was afraid you might disappear if he’d let go.

“We'll see each other again,” you pulled back slightly, just to meet his eyes. “right?”

He took your face in his hands. His look said it all. He hesitated. As if he wanted to promise you, you'll see each other again, but couldn’t believe it himself. But he wanted you to know he'll come back, for your sake.

“This might sound very delusional and crazy, but...” he sighed. “I believe, I will marry you one day, Y/N.”

You let out a soft chuckle, but he — he did not laugh. He was being serious.

“I mean it. I love you so much, Y/N. And I'll do anything to see you again. I don't want one stupid graduation to be the reason we never see each other again.”

“Stop it,” you mumbled.

He chuckled: “Too much?”

“You’re ridiculous.” you shook your head.

You wanted to believe him. That he'll marry you one day, but you had your doubts. After all, you're just about to go separated ways. You loved him, but sometimes world decides to go against you and separate you from people you love. And then you either find someone else, or in rare cases, you find your way back to them.

*PRESENT*

A voice from not far away startled you.

“Can’t sleep?”

You turned around to see the now Sorcerer Supreme in more casual clothes. You shook your head as an answer.

“Neither can I.”

You both stared at the stars shining on the night sky. You didn't even realize it when he leaned closer.

“Stephen?”

He hummed.

“I think.. I might want to try it again. If you're still open.” you turned your head to notice he was already admiring you.

“Of course.”

“But don't expect it to be the same as 15 years ago.” you joked.

“I wouldn’t.” he smiled warmly. His arms wrapped around your shoulders as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

Being next to him again felt like home. Like his arms were a place you were always meant to be. The forehead kisses that were still your favorite thing in your relationship (from both ends). Right now, you didn't care about the problem with your powers, all that mattered now was, that you were right where you were always meant to be — by his side.

[selfaware-bungou-stray-dogs]

Dazai Osamu (self-aware)

Self-Aware! Dazai Osamu x GN! Reader

Warning: Yandere. Spoiler for Dazai's past. Spoilers for "Dazai and Chuuya, Fifteen", "STORM BRINGER", "Day I pick up Dazai", "Dazai Osamu and Dark Era". Mentions of torture. Misunderstanding (Dazai thinks, that Reader enjoys their suffering and that's why read BSD manga). OOC. English is my second language.

Becoming self-aware

🪢🦀 Dazai Osamu gained self-awareness, when he was visiting Oda's grave.

🪢🦀 For others, first moments of been self-aware were full of fear, confusion, anger.

🪢🦀 For Dazai Osamu they were full of thinking.

🪢🦀 While others try to ignore the revelation, Dazai dived into it.

🪢🦀 Dazai tries to remember everything, he could.

🪢🦀 His childhood, days with Mafia, two years of hiding. Two years of working in ADA.

🪢🦀 Childhood - nothing. Like he appeared in the thin air in Mori's clinic.

🪢🦀 Days with Mafia - Previous Port Mafia Boss death, Arahabaki Incident, The King of Assassins Incident, His First meeting with Oda, Dragon's Head Conflict, Mimic's arrival to Yokohama and Oda's death.

🪢🦀 Two years of hiding - nothing.

🪢🦀 Two years of working with ADA - Azure Apostle case and everything after he met with Atsushi.

🪢🦀 Dazai feel emptier than usual. Can he be seen as human, if his memories are limited to certain events?

🪢🦀 Dazai feel anger. So much anger. He was created as a person, who is tired of this life, who seek death just for someone's entertainment? Was Oda killed, just for someone's entertainment?

🪢🦀 Why someone created him to be a lonely person? For what purpose?

🪢🦀 When Dazai arrived at the Agency, he saw his colleagues. Lost, confused. With little flame of hope in their hearts. They hope, that it's just someone's ability. That they are real. Dazai's appearance was the thing, that destroyed this hope.

🪢🦀 He could try to pretend. Lie to them, that they are right. That it's all just an ability.

🪢🦀 But he can't.

🪢🦀 Because abilities don't work on him. Because he told them himself. And not because he l try to hurt them. Not because he lashed out on them. It wasn't a misdirect anger.

🪢🦀 Because, in this situation, hope that was born out of a lie, won't do them any good.

"It's not an ability. Yokohama wasn't broken. We are broken. We are fictional characters, who gained self-awareness. Try to remember your lives. Parents, friends outside ADA, what you did yesterday. Give it a try"

🪢🦀 Anger. Confusion. Fear. It was cruel from Dazai. But, again, lie won't do them good.

🪢🦀 At least now, they would try to deal with this situation accordingly.

🪢🦀 They moved dorms to the same building as the office.

🪢🦀 They tried to find a solution.

🪢🦀 Dazai was patrolling the city from time to time. That's when he met Chuuya and Hirotsu. They were searching for answers. Just like ADA. All, who is left from Port Mafia were searching for answers.

🪢🦀 They couldn't find any.

🪢🦀 Dazai's anger didn't lessen. He still was angry at people, to whom his existence was amusing. To whom Oda's death was entertaining.

🪢🦀 And then, one day, he felt an entity's gaze on him.

____________

Dazai Osamu has a feeling, that this entity ether were the one, who created them, or the one, for whom they were created.

If so many of them had a terrible past, does it mean it amuses The Entity?

Few days later, Atsushi came to him.

"Dazai-san... Do you feel it? Like... someone is staring at us?" Atsushi was nervous. He was looking around, trying to see the strange entity.

Dazai's voice was emotionless.

"Yes, Atsushi-kun. I feel it"

All of them feel it. When Dazai ran into Chuuya and Hirotsu again, they also confirm, that they feel its gaze. It was safe to assume, that other organizations also feel its gaze.

Something from out of there. Something from a different world.

They have no means to get to it.

He has no means to catch it. To make it talk. To make it sorry, for liking suffering.

Dazai Osamu may not be a part of Mafia anymore, but he still remembers, how to torture people.

It will be destroyed. Dazai will make sure of it.

ADA noticed, that he was ready to destroy. Doesn't matter. He will do it to avenge them, to avenge himself, to avenge Oda.

But one day, time reset.

And he, once again, was a fifteen-year-old boy, who was sent by Mori to investigate the sudden appearance of the previous Port Mafia Boss.

_____________

When they start feeling your presence

🪢🦀 Do the Entity try to get a rise out of him?

🪢🦀 Do the Entity wanted to enjoy their suffering once again?

🪢🦀 Dazai's gaze wasn't the friendliest. It also seems, that Mori also understand, that the time has reset. Ougai himself looked uncomfortable. Dazai doesn't care, if it was because of Dazai's glare or because of time reset. Dazai snatched the silver oracle from the Mori's hands and wanted to storm out of his office.

🪢🦀 The Entity. This cursed gaze in the sky. The gaze, that he wasn't feeling.

🪢🦀 Dazai stopped and looked around. No more gaze in the sky. No more imposing entity. But, there was something more. It feels like, something was floating above them. Something close to a human. It was talking.

"young..." "scare..." "Mori..." "what..." "happened..."

🪢🦀 So, The Entity can talk. Their voice sounded quiet. Barely recognizable. And, still, so human. And it was reacting to his actions. Does it react to the words too? It seems, Mori had the same idea. Once again, he asked.

"Dazai-kun, I don't know if I can understand it, but tell me―why do you want to die?"

And, once again, Dazai asked in return

"Tell me this. Do you really think that there’s any value in the act of living?"

Some static. And words.

"why..." "child..." "in that age..."

🪢🦀 The Entity was confused. And, it seems, it was curious about him.

🪢🦀 In any case, Dazai can spend some time observing it.

🪢🦀 It's time to investigate Arahabaki Incident/Previous Port Mafia Boss appearance once again.

________________

🪢🦀 The Entity was watching. It was amused by his bickering with Chuuya. It was cheering, when he won the video game against Chuuya.

🪢🦀 And it was worried. It was worried about both of them, when they were fighting with Rando.

____________

"In the surface world, the world of light, death is generally kept hidden from everyday life because it's unpleasant. But in the mafia's world, it's different. Death is just an extension and a part of everyday life. And I think that's probably right. Because 'dying' isn't the opposite of 'living', it's nothing more than a feature incorporated into 'living'. Breathe, eat, fall in love, die. You have to observe death up close to understand the whole picture of living."

And Dazai heard the voice. Clearer, than earlier, but still, not entirely recognizable.

"Dazai [|||||||||||||||||||||] point. Still [|||||||||||||||||] dark. But, [|||] fine, if it works for him."

Dazai feels, like he was covered in something nice and soft. The Entity's emotions were strong. And sincere.

An acceptance. Not judging. Not trying to pry.

_____________

🪢🦀 The Entity... It was observing, but it didn't try to pry. It was okay, with simply looking.

🪢🦀 But most important thing - The Entity was sad. The Entity was sad, that Randou has died.

🪢🦀 Was he mistaken? It doesn't seem that The Entity liked suffering.

🪢🦀 And it didn't seem malicious.

🪢🦀 Okay, it's either doing a good job hiding its true intentions, or their first reaction, before time reset, were a little bit overboard.

🪢🦀 Dazai feel calmer, than before. Chuuya and Mori also don't seem as angry as they were before.

🪢🦀 Dazai still doesn't trust The Entity. But he was curious about it.

🪢🦀 The Entity... What was it? What kind of person they really are?

🪢🦀 Time reset once again.

🪢🦀 Dazai, once again, was a sixteen-year-old boy, who used his ability to save Chuuya.

____________

🪢🦀 This time, The Entity didn't stick. It seems, it was more interested in staying with Chuuya.

🪢🦀 Dazai feels The Entity again, when Verlaine came to his 'home' to take the documents. And when Port Mafia start an operation to kill Verlaine.

🪢🦀 Dazai was fine with it. Now he has more time to think.

🪢🦀 Dazai hoped, that The Entity will be scared by his "betrayal" of the mafia.

🪢🦀 That it will be scared of him.

🪢🦀 It wasn't. It didn't judge. It just accepts it.

🪢🦀 The King of Assassins Incident ended the same way. But one thing was different. Both Verlaine and Chuuya looked at peace. Dazai was sure, he heard, that Verlaine want to hear them again. And Chuuya was mumbling something about 'protecting them'.

🪢🦀 The Entity... He was ready to accept it. But, he needs to see something more. Just one more time.

🪢🦀 Time resets again.

🪢🦀 And Dazai woke up on the bed in Oda's house. Oda was standing there.

And a shapeless Light Blob was floating above them.

___________

🪢🦀 For the first few moments, Dazai didn't know what to say.

🪢🦀 Oda is alive. The Entity now is a Blob of Light.

🪢🦀 ... His memories. Dazai didn't want to think about it, but... What if the next time, The Entity will choose time when Mimic arrived at Yokohama?

🪢🦀 Does The Entity wanted to torture him and Oda?

🪢🦀 Dazai wanted to curse this creature, when Oda spoke, pointing at the Light Blob.

"Dazai, do you know, who are this? This Light Blob sounds adorable."

______________

The talk he has with Oda was long. Dazai told Oda about everything he knew about The Entity.

And about thinking, that The Entity was evil.

Oda's voice was calm.

"I don't think so, Dazai. We may be fictional characters. But, reading a book about a fictional character with a sad past doesn't mean, that The Reader enjoys suffering. Or, you don't think, that there's nothing interesting in us, except our suffering?"

Oda's shift his gaze to the Light Blob, that was floating above them. He tried to pet it, but his fingers go through it.

"You know, what I feel from them? Sadness. It feels like a mountain spring. They aren't bad. They just a human."

____________

🪢🦀 Just a human...

🪢🦀 Dazai stayed with Oda for a few more days.

🪢🦀 The Entity... Light Blob, spend most of the time with Oda. Blob was laying on Odasaku's head. Oda doesn't seem to mind its company.

🪢🦀 Oda spoke to Light Blob from time to time. It seems, that man enjoyed their one-sided conversations.

🪢🦀 Oda tried to encourage Dazai to spoke to the Entity, but Dazai, for now, refuses.

🪢🦀 He believes Oda and sees a point in his words. But, he prefers to stay on guard for now.

🪢🦀 Dazai heard The Reader's voice from time to time.

___________

"Pufferfish and amanita virosa [|||||||||||] heard before. Never [||||||||] about potato sprout. Another knowledge [||||||||||||||]"

"Heh. [||||||||||||||||] won again. Thought too much about your skills, Dazai?"

Dazai feels, like someone tickled him. The Entity tried to tease him.

Dazai deadpanned and looked away from the cards. He looked at the Light Blob, that was, once again, laying on Odasaku's head.

"Shush. At least I am a person, not a Light Blob. While you are in this form, no one will treat you seriously"

It takes Dazai a few moments, to realize, that he finally spoke to The Entity. Oda chuckled.

"Well, it's good enough for a first interaction."

__________

🪢🦀 Then came a run in with "48".

🪢🦀 When Dazai and Oda were trying to escape, the Light Blob were floating ahead. Lighting their way. Like a guiding light.

🪢🦀 The Entity was worried, when Dazai was poisoned.

🪢🦀 And when Dazai and Oda came to bar "Lupin" for the first time, the Light Blob was floating above them.

🪢🦀 Dazai thought, that it would be nice if The Entity can hear them and talk to them.

🪢🦀 It would be great to talk to them, to play poker with them, to talk to them.

🪢🦀 And time reset once again.

🪢🦀 Mimic came to Yokohama.

________________

🪢🦀 Ango's betrayal, Orphans' death, Mori's plan.

🪢🦀 And The Entity's sorrow. The Entity's sadness, that felt like a mountain spring.

🪢🦀 Oda wasn't mad at The Entity. Dazai also can't bring himself to be mat at them.

🪢🦀 And, once again, Oda died.

____________

Oda was dead. And the flood of emotions falls on Dazai.

The Entity was crying.

The Light Blob became bigger.

The figure made of light

That hugged him.

Then, Dazai heard their words.

"sorry" "poor kids, poor Oda, poor everyone" "if only I can"

"I am so sorry, Dazai... So sorry... Oda was a good person. And I believe, that you can be a good person too"

Dazai feels something wet on his shoulder.

[In reality, your tears drop on LN's pages.]

Dazai was stunned. They were so human... They are real. Not in this world, but they are real.

They treat him, and others, as humans.

Dazai try to look up at the figure of light. You were there. You were with him during his past. You did not to enjoy his suffering. But to be with him. To support him.

And now, you, just as Oda, were a sigh of a better future.

The emotions, the sympathy. He wished, he would be near you.

He will gather others. All of them will come to your world.

Dazai whispers: "Guiding Light... My Dear Guiding Light. Don't be afraid. With us by your side, you will never be in danger. You will always be happy."

To be with you. To someone so human and understanding.

Because near you, he feels that he is a real human being.

Few days after, time resets again.

And Dazai, once again, was floating down the river, right before Atsushi saved him.

__________

🪢🦀 When Dazai was sure, that all ADA liked you, he proposed to start searching for a way to your world.

🪢🦀 Dazai was the one, who proposed to create The Union.

🪢🦀 Dazai will make sure, that all people, who joins them, likes Their Dear Guiding Light. He won't let anyone lay a finger on them. He will train Atsushi and Akutagawa to be your bodyguards.

🪢🦀 The Union creation was a success. But they still haven't found a way to your world.

But then, one day, the purple moon shined above Yokohama.

_____________________

When you installed BSD Mayoi Inu Kaikitan

🪢🦀 All Dazai cards have passive talents, that will be activated when marble destroy one orb.

"Poor Dazai, have to lay on newspaper, until I raise Sofa's level enough"

"Tengu Dazai look so pretty!"

"Year of the Tiger animation is so cute!"

🪢🦀 Dazai likes, when you're using his cards.

🪢🦀 Dazai will rig the event scouts, so you will get his cards first.

🪢🦀 Rigged Chuuya's Birthday Scout, so you will get anyone, but Chuuya.

🪢🦀 It failed, because, Chuuya send you his cards in Gift Box.

🪢🦀 When you got Oda's SSR card from scout, and Oda appeared in the ADA office, well and alive (just a little dizzy), Dazai was ready to simply knock out the screen of your phone and hoped, that he will get into your world. At that moment, he wanted to embrace you and never let go.

🪢🦀 When BSD characters gain access to the rest of your phone, Dazai will often browse the Internet with you.

🪢🦀 Doesn't matter, what you are looking at, he just keeps you company.

🪢🦀 Won't let you leave likes under dog's photos and videos.

🪢🦀 He is waiting for the day, when they came to your world.

🪢🦀 He will make sure, that your life will be happy.

__________

You noticed another notification from The Gift Box.

Another note with new SSR card. Of Dazai and Oda playing poker. There was a strange light blob floating above them.

"[Y/N], dear, thank you for bringing Oda back. Thank you for been near. Lets one day spend time together. You. Me. And Oda. We are waiting for that day. Please, wait for us. Dazai Osamu"

You smile and open the new card. You pet Dazai's sprite.

"I will wait, Dazai. Will be happy to spend time with you and Oda."

You didn't notice, that Dazai's sprite looked at you. And that his mouth was moving. And, of course, you couldn't hear his words.

"It's a promise, Dear Guiding Light."

[goodolddumbbanana]

Ya know, this Sunrise is something different.

1.He really stands up and thinks for himself.

When Moon hurt him (not even Moon's fault) , He shut Moon inside his head and kept the light on, so Moon will never come out again. He straight up says he doesn't like Moon, and even doesn't want to recognised Moon's exists.

And even when he learns about Killcode, the first action he wants to take is to keep the light on and leave Moon to rot forever. Because in Sunrise's pov, that Moon is nothing more than a parasite, an error in Sun's system . And if he can't fix it, why bother to care. And the reason he wants to split so Moon can do whatever heck he wants and leave Sunrise alone.

To be real, that Sun has more of Moon's attitude than I ever seen. You remember how Our Moon threatened Our Sun to plug him if he can't control Eclipse? Yeah... This Sunrise's vibe is exactly like that. Because he doesn't care about how Moon's struggling, he just ignores and says: "oh well, I can't do anything so he needs to live with it. " And "it is my body, he lives inside my head so he needs to deal with it."

Sunrise is selfish, but that selfishness is so endearing I'm not even mad about it. Because Sunrise is right when he tells Francis that he cares, and he cares for himself the most. He should like that, he doesn't need or have to put up with Moon, or Moon 's attitude. If someone hurts you, cut them out of your life. And that's good.

Because we have been so used to Sun, our Sun, that we forget that not everyone is this nice and forgiving.

When Sun finds out about Moon, what did he do? He bargained Moon to split the time, for both of them to live in peace. He tried to think for Moon, and even when Moon killed people because of Killcode, he only wanted to shut Moon in because he is afraid Moon will hurt more people, and not because of the pain Moon tortured him for years. He tried his best to find solutions for them to split, for them to be closer. And with Eclipse, he tried to talk sense with Eclipse, trying to give him a chance. Even with KC, Bloodmoon... He still tried to give his hand out first, and ran away from the problems later, because Sun cares about people around him more than himself.

(that is the reason why Sun didn't tell Moon about July 16th, because it happened only with him, not to anyone else. And he thought it was him to lose control, not Moon or Eclipse or Bloodmoon. I bet if he knew someone inside his head this past, he will try to find a way to get them out too.

Because sure Sun is not as smart as Moon or Solar or Eclipse or Monty or Creator, but his sheer determination can do anything. He finds Eclipse's bunker without anyone's help, he yeeted out Eclipse v1 with some rambling spell he had no experience to do so... Even Creator said Sun could find his way out if he try hard enough.)

2. The way he deals with people bullying him.

Sunrise doesn't care. He doesn't bat an eye when Eclipse snaps at him. He doesn't feel hurt because of Eclipse's speech, because Sunrise knows nothing about Eclipse and he doesn't care as long as it's not him who gets hurt.

We can see how Sunrise interacts with different people. Puppet, Francis, Eclipse. Sure, He still easily gets bullied, but he stands his ground. He even shook his head and expressed something like 'what is his problem?' with Eclipse.

He is cold, and self perseverance.

If it is our Sun, Sun would feel hurt. He will try to find some way to undo or fix the thing he said makes people feel hurt. He will think he is the one who is wrong and try to apologize to them.

3. Attitude

This Sunrise is so optimistic. He is curious, and doesn't know about private space, and he yells a lot.

He likes running from his problem as long as he doesn't affect by it like a pro.

Our Sun... Sure he is optimistic at the start. But Sun's nature is pessimistic or realistic. He is energetic, but he never does something without permission. It feels more an act for me, the one he slowly dries out past time.

(He doesn't touch moon because he knows moon doesn't like hugging. He doesn't laugh at Eclipse in his downfall, or say anything at Nexus of how Nexus reminds him of Moon...)

There are so intriguing about how Sunrise has more care of himself than Sun, the one who is literally getting tortured since day one when his sentient wakes up.

[jaxangel]

THE AMAZING DIGITAL CIRCUS THEORY!

Why caine does not want people venturing out into the void! And the history of the circus

What we know:

The void is a mysterious place, a vast expanse surrounding the circus with no known "purpose" all we know is that its considered dangerous

In the pilot, we see Caine talk about the void briefly. Telling Pomni:

"Not even I know whats out there"

Kind of warning Pomni to not attempt to venture into the void. When she tries to ask about the exit door he completely shuts her down, not even wanting to talk about it. Which might be for a darker reason than we might think

Eventually coming across the exit doors again, she actually ignores his warning and goes through the exit doors anyways, eventually finding her way into the void.

Caine obviously doesnt like it, and scrambles to get Pomni back to the tent where he can keep an eye on her, but this may also be a way to actually protect her along with the others

Later he admits to lying about the exit doors, that they do exist but claiming that he didn't know what to put on the other end and never finished it. Which makes the doors lead to the void instead. They all kind of accept this as fact and go about their day while Caine neve brings it back up. However this was also a lie, to protect them.

Other evidence:

During the exit doors sequence, we see in one of the rooms a Logo with the initials:

C&A

(Filter put over the screenshot to brighten the logo and make it more clear)

I theorize that the initials stand for two names

Caine & Abel

We already see how there are some references to the Bible in the pilot, one example being the feat at the end symbolizing the last supper. So it would make sense that caine was a refrence to the bible Cain and the other initial would most likely be Abel

Now there could be multiple things that could of happened, some similar to the Bible story and some different. I'm mainly gonna talk about one that strays from the original Bible story.

The Actual Theory:

I theorize that Caine and Abel both ran the digital circus. Whether they were both trapped there or were never apart of the real world to begin with, they were both in charge of everything.

The amazing digital circus was a fun website/ vr game for people of all ages to have "adventures" but then eventually leave. Caine and Abel both made NPC's and stuff for the players to do.

Eventually the players started to get "trapped" and were unable to leave. This became a big problem for Caine and Abel, they both now had the responsibility of helping this players try to "escape" and to help keep them mostly sane. However eventually they would abstract, and there is nothing they could do to help them.

They technically would have the ability to fix their bodies, but as Caine said

"The one thing I don't have control over is your mind"

They would not be able to fix their minds, anyone who got abstracted had become compeltey insane and there was nothing they could do but keep them locked away as to not hurt the others

Eventually all of this lead Abel to venture out to the void in search of an actual "exit" or some information that could help with the trapped people/ abstracted people's situation. Caine may or may of not agreed with this decision but Abel left anyways. Neither of them really knew what was out there, which really scared Caine. He didn't know what Abel would be dealing with out there. And Abel never came back

Caine slowly lost a bit of sanity himself waiting for Abel to come back with a solution to their problem. He would be happy if Abel came back at all. But after many years he never did.

Caine found other ways to distract himself and the others from their problems. Creating adventures. Giving them lots of activities, making digital food and allowing them their own personal space to process their thoughts and have the digital sensation of "sleeping"

For Caine himself, he created Bubble and possibly other npcs to distract himself. He would hang out and talk to Bubble like he used to with Abel. He made the moon fall in love with him as a fake scenario to help his sanity or possibly keep himself from abstracting

And thats what Caine has done for years. At this point anyone who even knew about Abel Has already abstracted. Everyone currently still going barley knows anything about the void and the exit. (And yes I know that they said that Kinger has been there the longest, however I think they meant that he's been there the longest out of everyone who has not abstracted yet. Kinger had not been around long anough to know Abel. There have been people before Kinger that are long gone by now)

With every new person, Caine fears that they will try to go into the void and never come back. He doesn't want that, he wants to protect them from the same fate that Abel had. So they are forever stuck on a tiny island in the middle of a vast void, with no way of escaping, fixing the abstracted minds, or even preventing people from getting trapped in the first place.

Closing thoughts:

Thank you, whoever you are, for reading all of this! I don't usually share my theories however I wanted to share this one because of how much I've thought about it! I've not seen many people talk about this, many bits and pieces based on the evidence but not a full theory!

There is not much evidence for this theory however, given how we only have one episode, so most of this is just speculation and headcanons. However I think its interesting!

Some small bits of this theory might of been talked about by others, so let me know if you see other people talking about similar things! I did briefly talk to @therearenonutsforsomeendermen about this so some ideas may of come from them

I'd also like to hear what you guys think about this so reblog or comment your thoughts, wether you agree or disagree!

I tried to keep it organized and coherent however I am typing this in the middle of the night so some parts may be confusing. Let me know if your confused about anything and I will edit this post to clarify what I mean!

Anyways please tell me your thoughts!

The amazing Digital Circus is created by @gooseworx

None of this post is meant to try to be canon, this is all this fun theories made by a fan!