#spongebob analysis

[blackbullet99]

Band Geeks & Squilliam Returns Episode Order

SpongeBob SquarePants is easily my favorite show of all time. Anyone will tell you that those first three seasons are comedy gold with so many memorable iconic episodes, and two of my favorites are Band Geeks and Squilliam Returns, the former of which is the most popular and highly regarded SpongeBob episode of all time. 

Band Geeks first aired on September 7th 2001 and is Season 2 Episode 15b. Squilliam Returns first aired on March 15th 2002. However I think the intended order of the episodes were switched are work better the other way round. Allow me to explain.

Both episodes feature Squilliam Fancyson, Squidward’s more successful stuck up arch-rival from high school band class and a really underrated character who they should bring back. Both episodes are also rather similar. Squilliam brags about his success to Squidward, leading to the latter to lie and try to one-up his rival, which leads to hilarious meme-worthy shenanigans, only in Band Geeks Squidward comes out on top in the end but in Squilliam Returns when everything seems to be going well it all falls apart at the last minute.

Now, as I said before Band Geeks aired before Squilliam Returns, but I think Squilliam Returns was written first or at least conceptualized first and takes place before Band Geeks for different reasons. The first being that Squilliam Returns feels more like a direct introduction to the character and he has more screntime and interactions with Squidward, we get a better idea about who he is. He’s Squidward’s arch rival from high school, he’s more successful than Squidward, he’s the only person Squidward really feels self-conscious around. Band Geeks, while also a good introduction for Squilliam doesn’t give him as much focus, almost as if we should already know who he is, the episode is also loaded with almost every main character in the show and the plot doesn’t feel sepcifically centered around Squilliam, as Band Geeks was more about Squidward trying to get a band together so he could lead a band at the Bubble Bowl and live his dream (he didn’t think Squillaim would be there) whereas in Squilliam Returns, Squidward was more focused solely on impressing Squilliam. 

Secondly in Squilliam Returns, the two rivals talk like they haven’t seen each other since high-school, hence the title “Squilliam Returns” stills works for a Squilliam’s debut episode (like Pokémon: Mewtwo Strikes Back). Squilliam also suspects Squidward is a cashier, which he finds out is true at the end of the episode, whereas in Band Geeks he already knows this. “I hear you’re playing the cash register now”.

Lastly the biggest element of why the episodes work better in reverse order is because it’s more narratively satisfying. In Squilliam Returns Squidward goes overboard lying to Squillaim about having a fancy restaurant, he comes close to maintaining the lie, but it all falls apart at the end and Squidward  is forced to admit he lied, essentially humiliating himself.

Whereas in Band Geeks, Squilliam claims to be leading a band and playing at the Bubble Bowl, something Squidward’s dreamed of doing and coxes Squidward into lying about having a band. Squidward tried to form a band with most of the main characters, but everything seems to go hilariously wrong, but in the end SpongeBob manages to help everyone get their act together and in the definitive BEST moment in the show’s history, to quote a YouTube comment:

Squidward's band PLAYS THE SONG AT THE BUBBLE BOWL AND EVERYONE LOVES IT, FINALLY GIVING SQUIDWARD THE WIN HE DESERVED, AND FINALLY GETTING ONE UP OVER SQUILLIAM AFTER YEARS OF TORMENT ABOUT HOW MUCH MORE SUCCESSFUL HE IS! YAH! LOVE THIS EPISODE!

It’s more narratively satisfying to see Squidward try to impress an old rival of his (whom were introduced to for the first time) and everyone goes wrong because that’s what usually happens to Squidward, then in the next episode said rival makes a return Squidward once again tries to hold his own and one-up his rival, things go wrong as expected, but then all expectations are subverted, all the characters come together in an awesome song, that’s so awesome said rival faints and Squidward actually wins. Band Geeks should’ve really been the series finale, at least for the classic series, it would’ve been the highest note ever! (At least aside from the movie). 

I don’t think Squilliam Returns works as a sequel to Band Geeks, because while it’s still a great episode, it isn’t as epic or grandiose as the latter and if it is a sequel, then it craps alls over the previous ending (like Alien 3 did to Aliens). That being said I know it isn’t a sequel, SpongeBob isn’t a continuity driven show, Squilliam did make more appearances in the later seasons and the endings had varying outcomes (although said later seasons weren’t good).

I personally view Squilliam Returns as a prequel to Band Geeks that was released after (I’m guessing because Band Geeks was a more exciting episode). Kinda like watching the Star Wars Prequels after the Original Trilogy. Some other SpongeBob episodes also feel like they’re out of order, Life of Crime implies Mr. Krabs has a crush on Mrs. Puff (due to him hoarding her hair curlers) but in a later episode, Mr. Krabs meets Mrs. Puff for the first time and clearly develops a crush on her on said episode. 

Anyway, maybe I’m looking too deep into a funny cartoon, these are just my two cents.

[pinyatapix]

most funniest sudden deviation from a youtuber’s typical video lineup i’ve seen in recent memory

like bro imagine being SO pissed at the direction a show had taken that you have to momentarily quit spongeposting in order to talk about it for two whole hours. king shit

[shyjusticewarrior]

Harvey after recruiting Jason for Task Force Z because he reminds him of himself

[wanderingmind867]

I honestly view Lex Luthor as a fundamentally decent man, just one obsessed with praise and adulation. At least, that's how the DCAU Lex Luthor feels to me. The supplementary comics for Superman:TAS say that Lex Luthor grew up poor in the slums. He dreamed of being a rich benefactor to humanity, but his parents always derided his goals. So that inferiority complex sits like a sack of stones right on his chest. He needs the validation of others to feel good about himself, because his family never gave him validation. Now he's a broken man whose hatred of Superman largely stems from him stealing the spotlight away from him.

Lex Luthor hates Superman with a burning rage, but he doesn't hate people. That's evident in his relationships with characters like Mercy Graves and (briefly) Lana Lang. He has positive relationships with people. He donates to charities. He isn't a man who dreams of massacre and rampant bloodlust. He's not that kind of man. He just wants to be idolized. He wants that validation, because he clearly isn't getting it from himself. It's tragic, and Clancy Brown sells every script that the writers give him. He really conveys those equal parts menace and loneliness. The desperate cry of a rich man who never felt love.

I feel like him and superman have more in common than either cares to admit. They like helping people, in their very different ways. They both have public and private identities/faces they show to the world. But while Superman at least has a support system and secret keepers in the form of his parents and childhood friend Lana Lang, Lex has nobody. He doesn't even fully open up to Mercy. Mercy sees Lex as some kind of mentor. But Lex just sees her as an employee. One he's close to, but an employee nonetheless. He's too scared to open up and let her see the real him. Nobody has ever seen the real Lex Luthor. The man that was around before LexCorp.

Lex Luthor is tragic in that way where you still can hate him for his greedy capitalism, but you can also really see the anguish in every lex luthor story. He's always either hurting, angry, or having to deny that the villain of the week was created by him. He's got a great character, and the show could've done with more episodes exploring his life before all his wealth. That would've been fascinating.

[tragicclownwrites]

Why the ending of "Sponge-Cano!" was great SquidBob fodder

Hello! I'm back with an analysis post as I came across something recently and wanted to share some thoughts.

I'm likely late to the game here, but I saw an old post in which the author (a fellow SquidBobber) was upset by the ending of "Sponge-Cano!" and I just have to say... huh!?

Were we watching the same episode? 🤨

Needless to say, I was thoroughly perplexed by this reaction because I personally read into it much differently. Then again, I am a clown.

Therefore - in the spirit of friendly fandom discourse - I wanted to provide another perspective on this episode. Absolutely no shade to the OP either - people are allowed to have differing opinions, after all.

If you're with me, let's clown around below the cut!

The lie that started it all

Before we dive in any further, let's take a look at the scene that started this whole conversation.

Essentially, after Squidward's heartfelt confession to SpongeBob, while he's hanging on for dear life over a boiling volcano...

Squidward: "Please SpongeBob, I didn't mean any of that! I do appreciate your friendship. I am grateful. I'm… I'm… I'm grateful for the life I'm living! Who knows how long I'll have it? I learned that from you, remember?"

He says this after being rescued by his true love SpongeBob:

Squidward: "You know SpongeBob, in light of everything that just happened... I lied to you. I am not grateful for anything! I mean look at me. I don't even have a roof to sleep under, anymore!"

Now, this is the moment that had the OP so heated about this episode. After everything he said, after SpongeBob saved his life, he just... lied?

Weeeell, not exactly.

The truth always reveals itself

Now, for my hot take... I don't think Squidward was lying at all when he said he was grateful for SpongeBob.

Before you immediately decide that I've completely out-clowned myself this time, just hear me out!

There are a few reasons Squidward may have reacted the way he did in the aftermath of the volcano debacle.

He's Squidward

Our man's just lost his whole fucking house for the billionth time

The reality of what he just said is slowly catching up with him

He's Squidward

Unlike his more chipper counterpart, the guy doesn't exactly wear his heart on his sleeve and has been shown to struggle with vulnerability and admitting failure. I mean, he can barely manage to apologize for his less savory actions without choking and sputtering like a fool!

However, when his life was on the line in this scene, he was vulnerable in more ways than one. Physically, he was quite literally dangling over an active volcano - you can't get more vulnerable than that! Emotionally, he bore his soul to SpongeBob because he thought he was going to die and wouldn't have another chance to say any of that again. Keep in mind, he truly believed he wouldn't live to see SpongeBob ever again.

I've mentioned this in my Reigisa x SquidBob masterpost, but there have been several other instances where - particularly, in a dire situation - Squidward will openly admit that he has always liked/cared for SpongeBob. And similarly, he's also tried to take it back or act like he didn't mean it when everything turns out okay or if other people aside from SpongeBob hear his confession.

So, as much as he "hates" SpongeBob and can't stand him, when it really counts, the truth always reveals itself.

Is it possible that he was just trying to play at SpongeBob's heartstrings to save his own ass? Perhaps.

But then, he accepts his fate. He loses his grip, giving everyone a tearful farewell. That is, until his little yellow angel comes to his rescue.

SpongeBob: "Squidward, I always knew you felt that way. Aw, buddy. Thanks for finally opening up to us."

⬆️Just look at the pure love in his eyes! (*Patrick voice*: LOOK AT IT!) The sappy sponge was even prepared to sacrifice himself for him. 🥺

While there was absolutely no way SpongeBob would actually let Squidward perish - promises be damned - it wasn't until Squidward poured his heart out, putting his true feelings towards SpongeBob out in the open, that he was saved from certain death.

You know how they say, "the truth will set you free"? No kidding!

As for why SpongeBob was completely fine with Squidward's lie after the fact (another point of contention for OP), well... he loves him. Period. And I think, despite his emotional constipation and frequent annoyance with the sponge in question, it's pretty clear Squidward loves him, too.

Therefore, SpongeBob wasn't upset by Squidward's outburst here because, as naïve as he may be, I don't think that fact is lost on him either.

In conclusion...

I think it's safe to say that "Sponge-Cano!" was a pretty great episode to add to the ever-growing SquidBob pile.

And if you thought the scene I talked about above was the last of it, ohohoho~ 🤭😏

You. Just. Wait.

At the very end of the episode, after Squidward loses his home and complains that he no longer has "a roof to sleep under anymore," SpongeBob does what SpongeBob does best: he offers to help him out.

Even after Squidward's selfish actions in "Can You Spare a Dime?" (which had some great fodder as well, such as *ahem* Squidward making SpongeBob wear a sexy maid outfit), SpongeBob still lets him stay at his house for an indefinite amount of time. Continuity? I don't know her.

To which, this gets even better.

Squidward doesn't refuse and find somewhere else to crash. After all, wasn't SpongeBob the reason he was miserable enough to be sacrificed in the first place? Why would he subject himself to even more SpongeBob, if that were the case?

At SpongeBob's house, he doesn't sleep on the couch or in a spare room. He doesn't even take SpongeBob's bed for himself while SpongeBob sleeps elsewhere - just like he did in "Can You Spare a Dime?"

NO.

The two of them share SpongeBob's bed. As in, they sleep in the same bed together.

Are these two fucking serious!?

They totally cuddled. Maybe even kissed.

All that to say, as much as Squidward whines and gripes about how much SpongeBob makes him miserable, it's clear to see that - even in the face of life-threatening adversity - SpongeBob's presence in his life is the key to his happiness. In this case, the key to his survival as well.

Now, if only our favorite grumpy octopus would take that spongey key, embracing him fully, to unlock that door... 🌈

[wholefruity]

The Perkins-Lurkins family:

Theories and Character Analyses of Silly Cartoon Fish

Note: These are more of my personal theories and headcanons regarding stupid cartoon fish made for the hell of it.

Part 2: The main Perkins-Lurkins family dynamic

Before we get into the Perkins-Lurkins family dynamic, it’s best to know how Perch and Lurch are different, and how their differences in success as well as their differences in upbringings shaped them into the fish they are today.

Note: Several ideas were inspired by @perchwife's concepts, so please check out her Perch analysis as well! You can read part 1 of my Silly Cartoon Fish Analysis here. All links will be underlined.

Perch and Lurch key differences…

Perch is a weird enigma and walking contradiction of a fish. His mood is never stable nor consistent. He’s shown to have random bouts of paranoia, sadness, and fits of aggression towards various people, especially when they inconvenience him in any way. He’s incredibly full of himself and extremely egotistical, but also has a very fragile ego and sense of self at the same time. His core identity is tied to his success and job, and whenever something or someone threatens his identity, it destroys him (see “Smartificial Intelligence” SBSP episode and “End of Summer Daze” Kamp Koral episode). He likely suffers from some form of borderline personality disorder or bipolar disorder (I’m diagnosing a cartoon fish).

While I talked about Lurch in my first post, I’ll recap some core points. Lurch has shown he can be snarky at times, but deeply cares about his brother. He’s far more sensitive and kinder than Perch, but isn’t without his own faults. His self-esteem fluctuates a lot. One minute he can appear extremely confident, and the next he can be cowering in insecurity. Overall, it would seem Lurch’s personality just wasn’t fit to make it in the cut-throat world of television.

Note: While I’ve done my best so far to keep things fairly accurate to what I feel the canon would follow in my insane ramblings, a lot of what I’m writing in this particular section is more along the lines of “If I wrote it, here’s how I would work it, write it, and rework it!”

--

The Perkins-Lurkins family!

Perch and Lurch grew up close as young children, but were unfortunately separated around the time the they were supposed to begin attending Kamp Koral due to their parents’ divorce. Perch would end up living with his mother’s side of the family in Bikini Bottom while Lurch would end up moving to Shell City to live with his father (this explains why Perch and Lurch have different surnames despite being twins). While the twins would still see each other a lot, their bond was never the same. In fact, their bond would only become further strained the older they got.

While the family tree is likely far larger than this, I’ll be focusing on characters that have made canonical appearances in the series.

--

Ma Perkins

Perch was often favored by his mother over Lurch due to his early driven nature and aggressive personality, and it wasn’t a secret. Ma Perkins encouraged a competitive streak in the twins, often hinting she cared more for the twin that was more successful. This would become far clearer when the two reached adulthood. The woman is pretty toxic, and it’s clear where a lot of Perch’s issues first stemmed from. Ma Perkins used to say it best when she said, “One of you will grow up to be a winner, and the other will grow up to be Lurch.” When it came time for the divorce, Ma Perkins figured it would be easier for her and Pa Lurkins to care for one child each rather than have to go back and forth with custody between towns and cities (besides, she already had her favorite). Pa Perkins was indifferent and went along with the motions.

In present day, Perch is extremely close to his mother and his maternal side of the family, having grown up with them. Ma Perkins and Pa Lurkins still have bouts of fighting when coming into contact with each other, but their contact is almost non-existent now that their children are adults. Ma Perkins tends to act incredibly hostile and dismissive towards Lurch due to his association with his father, often calling him “the Lurkins son.” Lurch struggles with even considering her as his mother due to the fact she was rarely in his life to begin with, and when she was, she was “cruel and unusual.”

Ma Perkins is a fairly well-off woman financially. Likely a former television star like so many other successful members of the Perkins-Lurkins family. Her glory days are now behind her, and she continues to live through the success of her son.

It’s important to note that some say baldness comes from X chromosome inheritance, and Ma Perkins isn’t fooling anyone with her wig.

Pa Lurkins

Announcer Fish is Perch’s father: I’ll just say that it makes the most sense. Announcer Fish obviously shares similar genetic traits to Perch (similar hair, changing / inconsistent colors) further solidifying this theory. (credit to @perchwife for this theory)

Pa Lurkins was a famous announcer in Bikini Bottom similar to Perch, but it was clear that his work always came first. He was a barely present father, often neglecting his own wife and children for work. He’s the type of dad that wasn’t home much and when he was, he was 3 beers in laying on a recliner in the living room watching TV to unwind. Despite this, his children would idolize him heavily in their childhood, and were inspired to do the jobs they do today because of him.

Post-divorce, Lurch and Pa Lurkins would move out of Bikini Bottom and to Shell City (closer to the Lurkins family) where better work opportunities for him awaited. Overall, things would be good for a little while until his career in the big city eventually declined. From there, Pa Lurkins and Lurch would be on the move constantly, from Bikini Bottom, Shell City, and Atlantic City. Anywhere Pa Lurkins could go to give himself a second chance, he followed. Meanwhile, Lurch would continue to be pretty much neglected by his dad, leading him to become more self-reliant but have issues with abandonment that need to be worked out in therapy.

Pa Perkins has phases of becoming humbled and better as a father when he’s fallen on hard times. However, these phases fade the moment another chance at stardom and fame approaches. Pa Lurkins likely suffers with the same struggles relating to identity as Perch, as we can also see him lost, directionless, and zombie-like without his job (see “Smartificial Intelligence” SPSP episode). Strangely enough, we also don’t see the two bother to interact with each other despite both residing on Old Reporter Row for a short time, implying their relationship is basically non-existent or strained beyond repair. It’s likely that Perch does not consider Pa Lurkins to be a father, similar to how Lurch doesn’t see Ma Perkins as a mother.

--

What did Perch mean when he said Lurch’s family “left”?

Lurch is divorced (common theory):

It’s an idea, and probably what the running gag was referring to in all fairness… but it’s exactly what Nickelodeon wants you to believe.

Lurch was abandoned (truther theory):

During a segment on the Inquirer, Perch is heard saying “I hope your family never returns,” to which Lurch shockingly responds “Me too!”

This doesn’t sound like something a man would say about a recent divorce… at least not the kind and sensitive Lurch we know and love!

There are hints to Ma Perkins’s disdain for her own son, Lurch, in the Bikini Bottom Inquirer. She is brought up more than once and has never seen / acknowledged him. The most telling fact of Ma Perkins’s preferential treatment of Perch is when the Bikini Bottom Inquirer had hosted their event to decide “Who’s the Most Handsome Man in Bikini Bottom?” and Ma Perkins only cast her vote for Perch, ignoring her other son who was involved. Combining previous headcanons, we can infer she did this because she doesn’t consider Lurch to be her true son, barely even considering him to be part of the Perkins family.

While working with Perch on the Inquirer, we can assume further strain was put between Lurch and Ma Perkins due to him being around her golden child. Lurch likely attempted to contact his father multiple times hoping to get a morsel of support, but his father was gone both physically and emotionally, having already moved cities again to chase that dragon known as fame. We can see in the episode “Pablum Plankton” of SBSP that Pa Lurkins is able to get work still, even if it’s not often or anything major. During rough times, Lurch was essentially alone and abandoned yet again, and Perch would relish in teasing this information to Lurch live on the air multiple times. Perch and Lurch's relationship was at an all-time low at this point.

Perhaps it was seeing the effects that the industry had on his own family combined with the abuse and manipulation he endured first-hand that made Lurch quit television journalism for good. It’s no secret that even in his last appearance Lurch wasn’t even happy to be on television (see “Beneath the Bun: Krabby Patty Secrets Special” SPSP episode).

--

Old Mrs. Perkins

There isn’t too much to say about old Mrs. Perkins. She’s a fairly nice lady but has a few screws lose (although this is a common Bikini Bottomite trait). We can infer from the episode “FUN-Believable” of SPSP that she was a television news helicopter reporter. Don’t worry, turning into dust didn’t kill her at the end of that episode, she got better!

Throughout years of family drama, she’s always wanted everyone to get along. She lives in Bikini Bottom but frequently stays in Atlantic City for periods of time to turn her social security checks into winnings at the Lighthouse Casino. While she loves all her great grandchildren equally, she has a particularly strong bond to Birch, who frequently takes care of her (despite not being blood related).

Who the hell is Birch Birkins?

Birch Birkins is Perch’s and Lurch’s cousin from the Lurkins side of the family. Birch changed his surname to “Birkins” because he thought it had a better ring to it.

Birch sounds oddly similar to Perch and Lurch, but with a strong southern accent (see Floyd aka Gas Station Attendant 1 from SBSP). He’s a bit older than the twins, being in his 40’s while the twins are in their early to mid 30’s. He suffers from the Lurkins scale color genetics and balding. (Yes, balding comes from the Lurkins side as well, meaning no matter the chromosome inheritance, the twins are doomed either way.)

Birch is a bit of an oddity in the family. He’s sly, cunning, and fairly charming, but has never found the same level of success as his cousin Perch due to his tendency to get involved in illegal activities. He may appear to be wealthy judging from his fancy suit and high-end boatmobile, but he’s filed for bankruptcy multiple times, is in a deep amount of debt, owes some bad fish some money, all while still needing to pay alimony to multiple ex-wives. Birch said it best when he was attempting to comfort Perch about his divorce. “It gets easier after the third.”  He’s also a jack of many obscure trades. He was once a used cars salesman, auctioneer, and is even an ordained minister (and that’s just to name a few). He recently got his law degree from a barely credible university.

Birch worked as an intern on the Bikini Bottom Inquirer for a short period of time when he was down on his luck. He was only able to get the job after begging his cousin for a chance to work along with a place to stay (he stayed with Lurch of course). He never appeared much on camera like he originally hoped he would, and wasn’t very well liked by the higher ups at the Inquirer, resulting in him being quickly fired by Perch. Despite this, he doesn’t seem to harbor any ill-will towards Perch. Maybe he understands the cut-throat nature of show business too well.

Birch considers himself on good terms with Perch, despite Perch hating him more than Lurch. Birch is close to Lurch, naturally being part of the Lurkins side of the family. But the family member he’s closest too is Old Mrs. Perkins. He extremely protective of her, and would do anything for her (there’s a heart underneath that snake oil salesman exterior). How they became close is a mystery and a story on its own.

Birch currently lives in Atlantic City, working various seedy announcer jobs, gigs at the Lighthouse Casino, and often dabbling in schemes and scams as an off-again-on-again con-artist. He loves easy money and wants to make a name for himself. Too bad his gig at the Bikini Bottom Inquirer didn’t go anywhere!

--

If you like some of my weird writings and ramblings, you might enjoy the Spongebob parody fic me and my husband are working on together!

(Apologies for any grammatical errors and mistakes!)

[cosmicsponge2004]

SpongeGlob is trans

[coprolite-moment]

What are Striker and Dennis's issues?

honestly, not that deep. it's kinda just "two professional murderers with abysmal social skills forced to be roomates, hijinks ensue"

they're simply not two guys that'd get along upon first impression. After a few drinks and bonding by a bonfire? HARD maybe. but they're not getting to that stage for a while.

also half my entire reason for starting this niche series in the first place were inspired by the surprisingly large amount of these floating around

[crossover-enthusiast]

I probably should wait until I have a laptop again before I make a post like this, but eh

Thinking more on my "Sonic/FNF fans must Suffer" post, it's really interesting that the FNF fandom has an almost exaggerated case study of "fandoms for silly media make dark fan works"

FNF is a goofy, raunchy romp that only occasionally takes itself seriously, but easily the most popular/used genres of FNF mods are dark creepypastas of lighthearted media, which is like twice the edge

There are far more mods based on these creepypastas compared to the original media or even creepypastas with original characters, like Jeff or Laughing Jack

Even outside of the tidal wave of Sonic.exe mods, the most popular mods for works like Mario and SpongeBob are not mods based off official stuff, but instead Mario's Madness and Mistful Crimson Morning, which are wholly focused on creepypasta and other dark and edgy content made by their respective communities

And then you have the onslaught of Pibby mods, a sub community still going strong despite Pibby itself never getting picked up for a full series. It's like the creepypasta mods for animation, you'll be far more likely to find a Pibby mod for a cartoon than something based on the actual cartoon (or at least something that isn't a shitpost)

Even before these types of mods became popular, you had stuff like Corruption, a dark zombie apocalypse-style mod, that had a chokehold on the FNF fandom back in the day, and still have a popular niche despite being far less prominent

[vampirelover890]

Ok, over the next couple of days, I will be disecting my favorite vampires because I dont talk about them enough.

Today, I shall discuss bisexual icon, Dio Brando.

Dio gets 9/10 and 7/10 on the Vampire Value scale for parts 1 and 3, respectively.

Dio is perhaps the most important single character in JoJo until the timeline reset. He sets off the series of events that lead to the bond between Speedwagon and Jonathan, which then sets off the Pillar Men story, then he comes back for part 3, Jotaro is kinda in part 4, and then his son is the main protag of part 5 a f then his gay boyfriend ends the fucking universe in part 6. So... you know... kind of a big deal.

The reason I gave Dio two ratings is because i feel the vampiric qualities of Dio play an inherently lesser role in part 3 than they do in 1.

Dio, in Part 1, is adopted by the Joestars through a deal struck by Johnathan's father and Dio's father. Dio then actively goes out of his way to make Jonathan's as miserable as possible while trying to find a way to covertly poison Mr. Joestar and inherit the family fortune.

Dio's character is fueled by the feeling that he'd been cheated out of life by being born poor and, as such, deserves everything he could ever dream of. Unfortunately, the universe seems to agree and provides him with the power required to do whatever he pleases. His vampirism is not an infliction, a price for his power, it IS his enabler, letting him seize anything he wishes, command any who follow him, and consume those who he see fit, and also eye lasers which he never uses again for some fucking reason. 9/10. Almost perfect vampire.

Part 3 Dio has all of these qualities, but he's the villain, rarely the antagonist. Part 3 is about mind ghosts that only people with other mind ghosts can see except when that rule is broken multiple times. Dio's real character aspect through the series before the finale is fear. Dio has scared the strongest stand users in the world into his submission due to his own stand, The World.

Dio's vampirism plays less of a role in Part 3 due to the fact that it's not his main enabler anymore. Dio is, of course, still undeniably a vampire, and is ultimately melted in the sunlight after being split in half and transfused into a 70 year old man.

The reason I give Dio a lower Vampire Value, despite the fact that he dies like a vampires, dines like a vampire, and has [word that starts with d] like a vampire, it feels less important to the plot. Dio in part 1 was warping and twisting the valiant soldiers he came across into zombies fuelled by hatred, whereas Dio in part 3 is but assembling a group of powerful people in his name. Still good vampire, but not as good as he's been. 7/10.

Anyways this has been me ranting about the hottest anime character for approximately a foot of your feed (.305m)

I will take suggestions for other fiction vampires! Send em in! I'll do my reasearch! I do have a couple more in mind though, and will probably do those first. Maybe this becomes a normal thing? Who knows. Not me. (I never lost control)

Okie thank you :))))

[tavtiers]

an analysis for an Heir of void please?

The Heir of Void [symbols: star, shadow]

The Heir class has its basis in the chosen one trope. An example would be Beowulf.

The Void aspect’s main theme is the unknown. You can find its official description here.

An Heir of Void is among those who explore knowing and perceiving. This is the “classpect group” they belong to. Members include: the Mage, Seer, Heir, and Witch of Void/Light. These classes are all opposites or inverses of each other that explore the Void/Light dichotomy (knowing and perceiving). A description of classpect groupings can be found here.

The Heir of Void passively manipulates the Void aspect. Passive classes are guided by others or act for the benefit of others. They are more likely to be kind, but less likely to stand up for themselves. Witches and Heirs possess great power over their aspect and everything it symbolizes that has been granted to them from an outside source. Simplified, the Heir of Void is motivated by others to manipulate the unknown.

In personality, the Heir of Void struggles with restraint, gets caught up easily, and is very independent. Personality descriptions can be found here.

Their archetype is the Child Spy, defined by uninhibited secrecy. Archetypes are explained here.

Their opposite is the Witch of Light, who actively manipulates awareness.

Their inverse is the Mage of Light, who actively knows awareness.

A classpect or “god tier” is an individual’s best self. All classpects go through a journey from unrealized, to struggle, to realized. When a character is unrealized, they neutrally exist as their inverse. On their struggle, they will wildly flip back and forth between their inverse and true classpect. In their worst moments they will act as their inverse, in their best their true classpect. When realized, they will stabilize as their true classpect. They will still have room to grow, but will become happier, more successful people.

This means that the Heir of Void begins life motivated by themselves to know awareness. When their struggle arrives and they are at their worst, they will continue this behavior in negative extremes. However, when at their best, they will find purpose in instead manipulating the unknown for others. When realized, they will stabilize and continue to manipulate the Void aspect passively, in a positive way.

They share their archetype with the Thief of Life, the Spy Child.

The Heir of Void would quest on a planet similar to the Land of Darkness [Heir] and Void [Aspect]. An example would be the Land of Rainclouds and Waves. An explanation of planet naming conventions can be found here.

Two possible gods, or denizens, to reign over their planet would be Nyx (Goddess of Night) or Poseidon (God of the Sea). Other Void aspect denizens can be found here.

When the Heir of Void completes their planet quests and dies on their quest bed, they would rise to ascension on the wings of bats (symbols of night). A list of soul animals can be found here.

The characters that I have currently classpected as Heirs of Void are: Equius Zahhak from Homestuck [canon example], Sten from Dragon Age, June from Dragon Age, Uncle Arthur from A Serious Man, Patrick Star from SpongeBob SquarePants, and Captain Haddock from Tintin.

If any of the links not connected to my blog break, the content can be found on my Google Drive.

Official Aspect Descriptions

Personality Descriptions

Aspect Denizens

[stillness138]

can i ask for two characters: gezras of leyda and thaler? if not you can choose one of them xD

oooh nice, thanks! gonna do both

and cut it because it's gonna get long :D

Thaler

first impression:

i think i first saw him in gwent actually, and that was when 'silver spies' were still a thing. he was a pretty good card back then. only learned about his character once i watched a witcher 3 playthrough on youtube though. i don't recall it that well, but if i thought anything particular, it was probably "i hope he'll wash his hands at some point soon" because he's literally peeing at the start of the cutscene.

impression now:

he's cool! questionable hygiene aside, i love characters that have like, a thing? as in, a simple but fun premise or at least a surface reading. he's a spy, but very dedicated to the shoemaker cover, and that's how he manages to get by in an occupied land. i like that there's a little throughline with him about appearances often being deceiving. the shoes are one thing, but even further, he seems like a crude, self-serving bum, yet his loyality to Temeria is something so integral it's not even a question. This country really lucked out on devoted spies. Foltest was just that charismatic.

favorite thing about him:

willingness to do anything, no matter how uncomfortable, for the country. i think i like it because it's different from Roche's brand of servitude. again, cdpr is pretty good at writing ocs.

thinking about it now, he reminds me of a few guys i know. rural Temeria is, from an outside view, a cold, wet, kinda bleak bumfuck middle of nowhere, yet Thaler has this air of loving the physical country for what it is - he even mentions that he prefers the travelling more than a different cover like being an innkeep. like it doesn't bother him that it's cold, it seems he finds comfort in it in his own way. i find that kinda sweet.

least favorite thing:

seriously mate wash your hands 😭

i'd also rather cdpr didn't make him a vessel for racist jokes in the first game. (i swear i was looking for the exact clip where he talks about Azar and couldn't find it, i need to play the first game properly...)

favorite line/scene:

[how are you doing?] "A bit like a potato beetle. I keep quiet, stay outta trouble, and live on fucking potatoes."

i saw only a few scenes from witcher 1 and they were dubbed in czech, which adds to the hilarity of it to me, but his voice actor probably had a field day with it. "Nedělej si ze mě kurva srandu, seš zasranej amatér." [Geralt: will you play poker with me? Thaler: Don't fucking bullshit me, you're a goddamn amateur.]

favorite interaction he has with another character:

befriending and handling the three trolls. game Lambert has something to learn from him in that regard.

a character that I wish he would interact with more (or at all):

imagine if he appeared in the second game in any capacity, that would've been fun. in wild hunt, it's the same as with Roche: i wish the entire politics plotline was better. if i had to pick one character, it'd be Letho. there would be a lot of profanities but i actually believe Thaler would have more to say than even Roche at Kaer Morhen.

another character from another fandom that reminds me of him:

again i only know 5 things, and the only method acting spy in elder scrolls is Caius Cosades from Morrowind, whose similarities to Thaler pretty much end at taking a cover story too seriously.

as a side note though, i went to tv tropes to look at character lists in case i forgot about someone i actually do know, and in "sir swears-a-lot" subpage for videogame characters i found Thaler twice; gwent has its own separate mention. legends only.

a headcanon about him:

if Roche likes architecture, i think Thaler really enjoys music. maybe he even plays the lute. i'm also really curious about his youth and how he ended up a spy, but i do think it's quite different than Roche's background. i imagine he had a lot of friends as a kid and a comparably normal home life, but always showed talent for remembering what people say and for getting them to say even more.

a song that reminds me of him:

it's more vibes based than anything, but this czech song, most known from a movie. zmrzlinář means ice cream seller. it's all kinda... reminiscing, nostalgia and trying to find something nice or poetic in ordinary things (and in the case of the movie, in a shitty political regime). short movie version isn't on youtube, so i gotta upload it here.

an unpopular opinion about him:

this is less about the text and more meta, but i genuinely think he has a load of potential for exploring loyality, northern politics, motivation, and tropes or trope subversion (like the appearance thing i mentioned), but people sleep on him because Roche is right there. that's not to say dissecting Roche doesn't have merit - like i said, they're similar, but each has a different approach to what they do and what they believe.

favorite picture:

probably the gwent card. it says what it needs to and is surprisingly fun or even whimsical for a character most known for swearing on every third word. i think that's a neat choice though.

Gezras

first impression:

the cat school is, beside manticore, my favourite, so when the witcher expansion dropped i was curious who the leader will be next to Erland or Ivar. i wasn't disappointed. pretty sure i thought he's cute.

impression now:

*gently holds*

where Erland continued performing the trials to create a knightly order, Gezras and the growing cat school did it to protect themselves. it's the witcher dissected towards its core; a cycle of abuse maintained as something deemed necessary despite its harmfulness, out of desperation, out of a sense of belonging, out of losing touch with what's enough and what's too much.

and all that in pursuit of autonomy. Gezras; sold, experimented on, discarded, hunted. the fact the formula used on him was meant to suppress emotion yet ended up doing the opposite is a testament to that - this is about being treated as human. the trials are literally reclaimed, to strengthen other abandoned and thrown-out stray kids. to enact revenge. it's no wonder then that they'd seek refuge with the elves. the cat school was the one that took systemic oppression the most personally.

favorite thing about him:

that he's a unique exploration of the things i just mentioned. i find this very compelling and him relatable on that level, as an abuse survivor myself.

also his gwent card art and the bags under his eyes. that's relatable too.

least favorite thing:

it's meta again because i'm near incapable of judging the character without judging the writer: the little bit there is in gwent leans too much towards the edgy. he does have one voiceline about elven sages which i find especially interesting, but given that his trial ended up enhancing all emotions, if you want to show that somehow, give me rapid mood swings or something like that. gimme nuance!

this is me wanting every minor character to have dimensions.

favorite line/scene:

his flavor text; "Take a contract from Aen Seidhe over a dh'oine any day, as you’re far less likely to receive a knife between the ribs in place of coin."

favorite interaction he has with another character:

i think he actually has no lines or scenes with any named characters apart from the expansion key art where all the founders are together, because unlike the other three, he wasn't in the tabletop rpg books. i do however like his card's interaction with the bronze that happens to have my most favourite card art. there's awesome fanart about it too!

a character that I wish he would interact with more (or at all):

any named elf of his era, naturally, and especially the sages, but i am actually curious how he'd react to all of the other founders. Erland, i think i can imagine, but given both Arnaghad and Ivar ended up opposing Erland, that'd be more interesting. and even Iwan, the founder of manticore school as per the trpg, maybe he'd be the one Gezras would find most common ground with actually. If only for leaving the other three to their squabbles and seeking work and protection in a more equal society.

another character from another fandom that reminds me of him:

this is weird and i'm going to bring it up again, but Gezras reminds me of Allinall's work. weird because these are takes or adaptations of other media - particularly elder scrolls and berserk - but he specifically brings forth similar themes; conflicts of humans and elves, othering and otherness, cyclical abuse, coping mechanisms. the concrete characters i'm thinking of are Allinall's oc from the elder scrolls project and Rosine (and by extension the in-world fairytale character Peekaf) from the berserk project.

the nameless oc, mostly referred to as "One-Ear", had mixed parents, their human father cut their ear off in an attempt to hide their identity, even though their yellow sclera is undeniably elven. they join (or rather, their vulnerable state of trauma is exploited and they're indoctrinated by) a regime that aims to end material existence. Rosine is also a domestic abuse survivor, a village girl who comes across a promise of power in the form of an evil artifact that turns her into a moth-like elf monster. she starts devolving into bloodthirst and allows for horrible stuff to happen in order to maintain a fantasy of comfort and freedom.

a headcanon about him:

i didn't come up with it, but i love the idea that him and the saber-tooth tiger were buddies.

i think it's safe to assume that he's not actually from Leyda. if he was mutated at Stygga, he more likely was a local kid from Ebbing. I do also think he stayed in Dol Blathanna at some point when the school was wandering around, though.

and maybe that's too shallow, but i like to imagine he did genuinely enjoy being in nature. and if he ever conducted any trials by his own, he might've been notably good at herbology.

a song that reminds me of him:

'To Die' by Allinall (relating to One-Ear), and Peekaf Song (to Rosine).

as for more personal picks, my forever favourite, Nihilist Blues by Bring Me The Horizon (and Grimes); "do you mind if i'm exhumed?"

and Unraveled by Lorn, which is kinda ambient, but i like the harsher noises and associate it with my own search-for-identity oc.

an unpopular opinion about him:

Gezras is more interesting to me personally because of that focus on abuse, autonomy and revenge, and he's already a bit on the side because Erland and Arnaghad's conflict is at the forefront when this era of witchers comes up, but i think Ivar Evil-Eye needs even more love. despite being in the trpg, no one talks about him (he has that in common with Thaler i guess) and that's a disservice to the viper school as a whole, i think it's just as fascinating and has just as much unique and profound stuff to say as the cat school's story.

favorite picture:

his gwent card is in my top 20, but i especially like his reward tree portrait; it's the most detailed likeness we have. the mega tired eyes just draw me in.

[shyjusticewarrior]

"Earlier seasons SpongeBob would hate later seasons SpongeBob!" Y'all get on this internet and tell lies.

[georgi-girl]

I never thought I’d say this but SpongeBob SquarePants is actually a great role model

He loves his job even though it’s not “flashy” or “important”.

He works hard and is appreciated for it.

He has hobbies that he’s passionate about (karate, jellyfishing, music)

He’s friendly to everyone (even people who don’t deserve it)

He has a friend group that he deeply cherishes.

He’s 100% himself and any attempts to change him fail within ten minutes.

[admiral-alpaca]