#stabby birds

[heraldofcrow]

Eileen and Bloody Crow, caught in 4k—

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

least favorite thing about evolution is how the appendix exists and is functionally useless-cum-harmful, and meanwhile humans STILL haven't evolved elbow shivs

[ninbinary]

[glitchy-grump]

Bbbuh these guys are so silly [silly]

[gothearts]

Tell me the difference between these images

You cannot change my mind about them being one in the same

[weheartstims]

could i an evilnotion (friday night stabby) themed stimboard with plague doctor masks and wing stims (preferably vulture but if not then any black feathered wing will do)? i'd prefer mostly greyscale/black colours but red works too

EvilNotion (Friday Night Stabby, Among Us) with plague doctor masks, vultures, and black feathered wings!

🖤|🪽|🖤 🪽|🖤|🪽 🖤|🪽|🖤

[grumpy-limsan-customs-cat]

So...uh.

Ninja Elf.

[lonelyquail]

OK OK MORE LETS DO 1???? seems like a nice little odd number

ok so ive been motivation paralyzed for the past two days so im only doing this now press f for me but also okay so 1 is celine which is rough since her deal is wrapped up in other characters and also u already know a lot about it also also she really doesnt have a lot of deal on her own?? shes just funnysilly but ill do what i can.

okay so hands you this beast

i swear i dont have a dumb pixel for every one of my ocs just her and hugslug. for now.

anyway! celine is a silly little necromancer and also my dnd character right now and the separation between what's dnd and what's oc stuff in my brain is Very Wibbly And Unclear so ill just assume that her backstory ive been using in dnd is her canon one

so background is that shes a magic school dropout who decided that doing puppet shows of all things is her true calling in life. celine is a beast of hindsight and this did not work out so naturally the catgirl turns to a life of crime (but still does puppet shows for local thieves guilds on the weekends). this background makes me really happy its very silly.

anyway she does some magic crimes because she is Basically completely self taught (in the campaign shes an arcane trickster by the way since necromancer isnt really its own class. its fine) and i Do joke that she got into magic for the sparkles but she does have another motive. a motive that is not very well thought out but im Sure will go fine for her

oh also she had a little brother at one point. im sure she has other fambly too but she hasnt talked to them in a while after yknow, dropping out of school and probably disappointing them. oopsie headbonk hehe. she and said brother were always close though theyre partners in crime and she Would do anything for him especially because he's the designated braincell holder. im sure nothing bad happened to said brother (died in a workplace accident at the ripe age of like fourteen <3)(so yeah that motive i mentioned before uhhhhhh yeah catgirl's gonna bring back the dead And shes gonna make it purrsonal im sure nothing will go wrong here)

(things do go wrong but if you want to know about that you have to ask me about nico <3)

oh also she has a girlfriend who 1. actually went to school and is honestly Baffled at how shes gotten this far and 2. is a crow so i can call her a necrowmancer. she has a deal too but i mostly just wanted a nekomancer necrowmancer pair <3 a necromance.... her deal isnt as thought out as my others but if you wanna know more about her you have to ask about iris

also heres a full art of her. i kind of prefer the colors on the pixel but trad art is unpredictable <3

thank u for coming to my tedtalk

[im-totally-not-an-alien-2]

Halloween prompts year 2 day 26

Robins look of utter rage fills Danny with adrenaline as he puts the petal to the metal to escape the stabby birds vengeance.

Danny wasn't too worried, after all the car he stole was the Batmobile and he was pretty sure Boy Wonder couldn't hurt the car without being grounded or something.

Whatever. He didn't really even plan to keep the car anyway.

He just needed a way to get them to Amity. Sam and a few other kids had gone missing after she lead a protest against the GIW over the anyi-ecto acts and thier treatment of ghosts and Tucker disappeared a few days later after he got back hacked while trying to find where they took her.

Danny wasn't stupid enough to go in as either Fenton or Ancients forbid, Phantom so he needed help. Unfortunately his track record for asking for help usually ended with him being talked over, talked down to, ridiculed, ignored, ect. So naturally he had to take things into his own hands as usual.

Thus stealing the Batmobile and doing the metaphorical equivalent or hitting a bat flavored hornets nest with a stick and hoping he doesn't die the rest of the way.

He is from the Midwest and this situation was awkward enough to activate his hospitality instincts so he offers to take music requests over the com lines (much to Red Robins bafflement). They of course have noticed a lack of Oracles involvement by this point and Danny informs them of his heavily modified Amazon fire stick and that he used it to not only knock Oracle out of the game -mostly to keep her from hacking into the batmobile and giving him a one way ticket to juvie- but also give him what was pretty much an hologram version of an instruction booklet for the fancy car hes driving.

Yeah, he doesn't know any of the bypass or security codes, but now he doesn't have to wonder that all the buttons do...and if they'll eject him.

Eventually they make it out of Gotham, the bats are miffed and tired. The sun is coming up and the fuzzy fighters break off to return to thier city.

They're likely going to use the trackers in the vehicle to find it once Danny parks so they don't end up chasing him all over the continent.

Good. All according to plan.

Except he waits a day after returning to Amity and hiding the car.

Then two.

Then four pass by without so much as a wing beat.

After five days Danny decides he can't wait anymore and goes back to Gotham to steal more bat themed items. That jet looked rather nice...

In the meantime the bats are flummoxed as to why they can't find this kid

Turns out large amounts of ecto radiation renders most tracking useless. Who knew?

Eventually Danny has a whole collection of expensive bat things and he, on the verge of a breakdown, drives back to Gotham in the GAV (bear in mind hes 14 and has no license throughout all of this) uses the GAV to kidnap Bruce Wayne. He apologizes profusely but explains the situation and that he really needs Batmans help but he seems to be refusing to get involved. So naturally he has to kidnap his sugar daddy to force his hand.

[directdogman]

Each Dialtown cast member shares their favourite Muppet!

Idea: Characters from the cast of Dialtown are asked to share their favourite characters from The Muppets, in order to get the Muppets fandom on board with DT, which winds up being a largely fruitless ordeal.

Gingi insists that Grover and Oscar the Grouch from Sesame Street are Muppets when asked, and takes it badly when Gingi is instead asked to name a character FROM The Muppet Show. The ensuing discussion that follows is much too rancid to be published online, making the time spent trying to calm Gingi down entirely in vain.

Karen's comments are not published as she refuses to do ANYTHING other than vent frustrations about Kermit the Frog, making her comments unusable as they would undoubtedly piss off a large section of the Muppets fandom, who largely venerate Kermit the Frog.

Randy tries to make an argument for Scooter being the 'best one', feeling that he, himself, is the scooter of the Dialtown cast, and thus, must stick up for one of his ilk. This answer is NOT published because the internet would tear him to shreds for playing devil's advocate for the worst Muppet.

Randy is then given another opportunity to pick a favourite Muppet, provided he selects a different Muppet. Randy picks Pepe the Prawn. When asked why Pepe is his favourite, tears well on his screen and he asks if he can leave to get a glass of water. Upon leaving the room, Randy never comes back. The answer isn't included in the article, as it's impossible to discern whether Randy feels that Pepe the Prawn is truly a kindred soul or if he was simply put on the spot and felt pressured to simply name the first Muppet he thought of.

Oliver answers by explaining Gonzo is his favourite but every time he's given an opportunity to explain why, his explanation inevitably transitions into a rambling endorsement of anarchism. Each time, after he's been given an opportunity to explain himself, Oliver is asked to rephrase his answer to be less political and he accepts, apologizing for his mistake and swearing that he understands what the blog is looking for now. Oliver then proceeds to somehow transition back into an endorsement of anarchism until the interviewer gives up and decides to leave him out of the article.

We're not actually sure who Norm likes the best from the Muppets cast because before we could get to Norm, Gingi (irate that Grover/Oscar the Grouch were rejected as its answer) told Norm about Big Bird dying in the Challenger explosion (which happened in DT's timeline), prompting Norm to get really upset and leave before his turn came up. Norm's favourite character is PROBABLY Sam Eagle, but now, we'll never get to know for sure. Thanks, Gingi.

Mingus, when asked, declined to answer out of sheer disinterest. Upon being shown a photo of the extended Muppet cast, she arbitrarily pointed to Robin the Frog and said "That one, I guess." Upon being asked why she would pick Kermit's nephew of all characters, her response was: "It's no business of mine who this frog is related to. Nobody is well-connected enough to ensure they'll live if I deem them a threat to my success." After being reminded that Robin is canonically a child, Mingus retorted by pointing out that Robin is, in fact, a fictional frog puppet. Not sure what to do with this answer, but we certainly can't include it.

Stabby + Shooty are asked for their favourites and they pick Statler and Waldorf respectively. When asked why, they explain it's because they're cool, wear suits, deliver CUTTING jabs, and each hang out with their best bro all day, not unlike themselves. The blog operator remarks: "Oh. I figured it was because, like you guys, they're kinda interchangeable and are pretty much overlooked by everyone", causing Stabby to angrily flip a table and storm out of the room. Shooty apologies meekly for his outburst and leaves to calm his companion down. The answer is not published as the interviewer had no clue which was Stabby and which was Shooty, thus being unable to accurately attribute the answers to either of them.

Bigfoot's favourite character turns out to be Animal, and this is the only answer that ends up being published.

Here's the finished article:

DIALTOWN ARTICLE, EACH OF THE CAST'S FAVOURITE MUPPETS: BIGFOOT'S IS ANIMAL.

The article only gets 3 likes.

[rebeccathenaturalist]

Today is apparently ANGRY STABBY BIRB DAY.

I was taking a walk on the boardwalk out near Bolstadt in Long Beach, when I came across this western grebe (Aechmophorus occidentalis) stranded on the path ahead of me. It looked alert and uninjured, so chances were just that it couldn't take flight off of the hard surface, but I called Peninsula Wild Care anyway to see if they wanted to bring it in for a checkup.

They quickly coordinated a couple of volunteers to meet me nearby, and I needed to get the grebe out of the way since a lot of people walk their dogs there and not all of them are on leashes. I figured okay, this is a relatively small bird, not as big as the muscovies I've carted around on the farm, and it seems calm, right?

NOPE. As I tried to gently reach for the grebe it turned from a calm, if confused pile of feathers on the decking to Stabby McStabberson, and I very nearly got jabbed and nipped a few times by a long, pointy beak attached to a surprisingly agile and very much NOT happy bird. I ended up having to take my hoodie off and dropping it over the entire grebe, and only when the lights were out could I bundle it up and carry it over to the meeting place.

Since it was pretty energetic, not obviously sick or injured, and its body condition felt decent (at least through the hoodie) I'm hoping it's going to get released soon enough after a checkup and a nice meal of fish. Many waterbirds have a lot of trouble taking off from hard surfaces because their feet are so far back on their bodies--which is great for swimming and water takeoffs, but not so helpful on land. If the bird had stayed stranded there they could have been injured or killed by another animal, or ended up dehydrated.

So let's hear it for Stabby the Angry Grebe, and wish them a good release back into the wild!

[gffa]

Insomnia posing as Bruce: [has an emotionally open offer for Damian] "I want you to know I'm very proud of you, you don't have to keep going, we can go home and be a family together." Damian: GROSS. YOU'RE NOT MY REAL FATHER. [STABS HIM] Just absolute hyena laughing that Damian's response to Bruce being sappy with him is to just straight up know that's not his father and that's not what either of them wants and immediately stab him through the chest. Stabby baby bird is the best.

[iliveinyourceiling65]

HoO incorrect quotes

Part two :)

Leo: My life isn’t as glamorous as my wanted poster makes it look like.

Annabeth: Percy... Percy: Oh no, 'Percy' in b-flat. Percy: You're disappointed

Jason: So apparently the 'bad vibes' I’ve been feeling are actually severe psychological distress

Jason: Can you keep a secret? Nico: Do you know anything about my life? Jason: No I do not. Good point.

Hazel: I’m going to defeat you with the power of friendship! ... And this knife I found.

Piper: What if the person who named Walkie Talkies named everything? Jason: Pregnancy tests are Maybe Babies Leo: Socks are Feetie Heaties Percy: Forks are Stabby Grabbies Jason: Defibrillators are Heartie Starties Leo: Nightmares are Dreamy Screamies Frank: Stamps are Lickie Stickies Annabeth, annoyed: You are disappointment

Piper: I actually have a black belt. Annabeth: In what, karate? Piper: No, from Gucci.

Frank: Physically, yes, I could fight a bird. But emotionally? Imagine the toll.

Jason, tending to Leo’s wounds: How would you rate your pain? Leo: Zero stars. Would NOT recommend

Frank: I trust Percy Hazel: You think they know what they're doing? Frank: I wouldn't go that far.

Jason: This is a mistake  Leo, enthusiastically: A mistake we're going to laugh about one day!  Jason: But not today  Leo, still enthusiastic: Oh, no. Today's going to be a mess

[beechaotic]

Okay, I was just patrolling Crime Alley, right? I do that sometimes with other goons. Red Hood can’t be everywhere at once. (But he never lets me go alone, for whatever reason).

I get to The Edge, and I see Stabby Robin. He’s fighting a criminal, but he’s on his side, so it’s no biggy.

Well, the criminal RUNS INTO CRIME ALLEY. Like an IDIOT. And Stabby Robin tries to follow them. Also like an idiot.

I shout at both of them “GET YOUR ASSES OUT IF CRIME ALLEY YOU ASSHOLES!” And start trying to fight the criminal. Now, most Bats would see this as what it is, a goon of Red Hood helping out. Stabby did not. Stabby tried to get between me and the criminal to fight them himself. He said something about “letting the trained professionals handle this” (I wasn’t really paying attention).

I tried to remind him that Crime Alley is HOOD’S turf, and that Bats and Birds aren’t allowed here. He ignored me. So what’d I do? I simply grabbed him, took his sword, shoved him over the threshold and returned to beating the shit out of the criminal.

Apparently he didn’t like that, because he tried coming back in. Saying something about “Putting myself at risk”. I just shouted “Hypocrite!” and continued doing my task. The goon with me handled keeping Stabby Robin out of Crime Alley while I was taking care of the criminal.

Now Stabby Robin is always up my ass about EVERYTHING, and keeps trying to find something criminal about me. Literally the only illegal thing I do is work for Red Hood.

I think he thinks we have a rivalry going on, but I just want to do my fucking job. What is my job? Beat criminal ass, close portals to other dimensions (with the help of some friends I made across the multiverse; I can’t close portals myself), and keep Bats and Birds out of Crime Alley.

Anyway, he’s really getting on my nerves. Anyone have any advice on how to deal with a 14 y/o who thinks you’re more criminal than you actually are? Also, yes, I did give him his sword back. I’m not a heathen.

[your-local-gothamite]

Hey, I'll move to gotham in a few months, you got any tips for me?

I still have to decide on an apartment and I have to get a job there ..

hey congrats on moving to gotham! it’s a hellhole but it’s our hellhole y’know?

ok so first things first, do not. under any circumstances. drink the tap water. (unless your like an evil scientist/wanna become a rogue then go ahead). most gothamites will tell you this, yes we’re hypocrites and drink it but that is neither here nor there. and if you have to drink it make sure to use a gotham approved filter. not one from like metropolis or something, cause those never work properly, one from gotham.

regarding finding a place to live though, it’s fairly easy depending on the district. like landlords do not give a fuck as long as you can pay rent. (apparently, this is what i’ve been told at least. also most likely you will end up working under a mob boss at some point. no sweat, it happens to everyone at least once.

most have like a name tag or something that they can give you (that symbolizes like your only working for them because you need a job), that way the bats & birds leave you alone.

uhh i think that’s all i have? oh and regarding our local vigilantes they’ll probably leave you alone for the most part, unless you catch their eye (this can either be good or bad depending on the situation). their just like unnecessary nosy and will want to but into your personal business but it’s alright. the stabby robin will try and steal your pets though (if you have any). if that happens call nightwing or batman. do not call red hood, he will just laugh.

[brucewaynehater101]

Red Hood Time Travel AU: Angst Edition

(TW: blood, gore, death, Jason's Ethiopia scene, Joker [y'all, it's rough])

Through the power of magic fuckery, Jason gets transported back a few weeks before his fifteen year old self goes to Ethiopia. Figuring that he has a little time before the explosion, he decides to fix a few issues early.

He skips his way past Talia's assassin defenses, scoops up a growling and stabby child, and then sashays his way to Gotham.

Not wanting to be interrogated, he leaves the kid on Wayne Manor's doorstep wrapped up in a green bow. The words "Congrats! It's a boy!" are taped to his forehead.

While Bruce is dealing with the new kid, Red Hood forgot to account for the tension between Batman and Robin. Instead of trying to fix their relationship, the appearance of a new kid pushes young Jason out even faster. Red Hood only finds this out after dropping off kid Tim.

Cursing, Jason desperately chases Robin all the way to Ethiopia. He chases him to that damned warehouse.

Seeing the younger version of himself get slammed with a crowbar, watching the scene from a third person's point of view (but still an older Jason's POV), causes the man to freeze. He's watching the worst time of his life being replayed and he can't move. He can't announce his presence to Joker.

After all his training, after the showdown with Batman and the clown, Red Hood can't even step into the light. What if the monster sees him? What if it turns that bloody, dripping metal on the older version of himself?

Who is Jason anymore? Is he still the kid wrapped in chains begging for his dad to save him? Is he the man available to save himself but incapable?

Each grunt of pain, the choked cries, and the slap of flesh breaking they all numbly hit Red Hood's ears. At the same time that he tensely watches Joker's every move, another part of him is barely aware of where he is.

He must make some noise, perhaps a cut off whimper or a scuff of his boot, because manic green eyes flicker away from their prize. Glee lights up lime colored eyes as the Joker's hand twirls the crowbar. Blood droplets fly from the metal as the clown steps towards a trembling man in red armor.

After the first hit, the first drawn-out laugh, Jason loses time. He comes back to himself on the floor next to the child version of himself. The teen hasn't noticed that Red Hood is responsive again. This allows the man the ability to watch realization and then resignation settle on the kid's shoulder. They both know that the timer and their injuries will not allow them to escape. They're going to die thousands of miles from home, from their dad.

Through the twinge in his arm, Red Hood reaches his hands to the young bird. He frees him from the chains so that his finally moments aren't as trapped. Two broken hands hold each other as they both stare up at steel beams. Twin breaths sluggishly cough out, and the timer beeps ever closer to zero.

Any second now, Jason will die. At least this time he isn't alone.