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#still feels a little alienating sometimes sure
ubersaur · 1 year
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y'know? after years of dread abt dying alone I think I'm now ok with it. I'm pretty damn grey/demi-aro and Im finally starting to feel okay about that!!
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toastsnaffler · 8 months
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everyone say thank u to my roommate for going to visit her parents this weekend so I can jack it loud and nasty 🙏
#i love her but there are some benefits to having the flat to myself.... love getting to wander around in just my boxers + a tshirt too#things i could do while she was still here if i wasnt a pussy 🙄#jk itd just make her uncomfortable and im too respectful for that#having a lowkey crush on her is an endless comedy to me bc we would be so woefully incompatible romantically#and also sexually.. historically ive only ever stone topped bc ive never been comfortable enough w anyone to let them fuck me#despite very much Not being stone or exclusively a top. and i think shes some form of sex repulsed anyway so like. sits there dead silence#and also shes so in love with her other friends and i showed up late to that party.... ive been feeling kinda guilty lately bc ik-#she misses them a lot and wishes we'd be able to stay roommates w them too. and im a pretty poor replacement for them tbh#and i love spending time with her but whenever i do i feel kinda painfully aware im not them like i could never fill that space#and asking to hang out more with her always feels like im taking away from time she could be talking to them. or even being alone ik she-#likes her own company and i get that a lot too so its chill but ahh.. man#i dont mean this in a bitter or jealous way at all like theyre all such sweet ppl i couldnt ever hold it against them#theyre kind of a 3 headed cerberus type situation and im like. the stray puppy they found on the side of the road#theres nothing they can do differently i was just born to be alienated from other ppl forever until i die. and someday i hope ill-#finally get used to it and accept i wont ever feel like im enough for anyone else or feel like anything else is enough for me#old wounds healed over 5082 times that still hurt to touch but i cant help pressing my fingers into them anyway bc its a familiar pain etc#anyway lost where i was going with this its just been on my mind again recently. i hate to be pitied i hate to feel like im only included-#bc they didnt want me to feel left out i hate feeling like a shoddy secondhand stand-in and its been a lot of that lately#also been a little annoyed bc sometimes it feels like shes trying to micromanage my social life and girl. we're not close enough for that#im sure its well intentioned but im not part of what they have going on i cant compete in that ring so dont try to push me into it..#ahhh. its all ok tho one of the guys is coming to visit next month which will be rly fun but ill try to give them some space too#its good at least im doing this processing now bc group situations can be spike traps of triggers for me sometimes#regardless of how good friends i am w ppl and ive already had a wobble a few weeks ago w how i cope and i dont want it to become a#fully fledged regular issue again bc its so hard to crawl back out of that pit. anyway losing coherence here im gonna stop rambling#and go make myself an early dinner and then back to drawing........#sorry for long tags if ur reading this blows u a kiss but go find a better use of ur time girl!!#.diaries
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sysig · 2 years
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More cat!DAX (Patreon)
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idiotmf · 2 months
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Alien who loves your skin
NSFW, MDNI
Content: Fully gender neutral reader, slow fucking
Alien boyfriend who is obsessed with touching your skin. Bonus points if you have skin imperfections for him to be amazed about.
He gets super excited when you shave because “it's so smooth!!” But he also doesn't care if you don't, because, look! You can grow fur!
He endlessly traces scars, as if he's trying to feel every little thing, committing it to memory. 
Sometimes he touches your skin, then his own, and then yours again, marveling at how different you are. You're so soft, squishy, and cute!
He'll trace your skin while slowly thrusting into you, his claws carefully teasing your sensitive spots, making you writhe in pleasure and frustration at his slow pace. 
He's not an aggressive lover most of the time, but he does enjoy teasing you quite a lot—the look on your face when you can't get enough, the way your hips shake to try and get his alien cock deeper into you.
He'll let you wriggle for a while but then grabs your hips, his thumb-like claws softly stroking your skin as he holds you still for more slow torture. 
He loves the way your skin flushes as you moan out, and your voice is another thing he loves about you. 
Sometimes, he'll flip you over and fuck your hole from behind; it's something you showed him in the hopes he would go feral on you. It turns out he does love the position, but only because you make such cute mewling sounds when he doesn't give you what you want.
These days, he just slow-fucks you while sensually tracing your beautiful back and watching those cute goosebumps erupt all over your skin. 
He revels when your orgasm builds, your body writhing in need, trying so desperately to get more but he's denying you, pounding into your puffy hole for hours with excruciatingly slow movements, almost carefully so, but deep enough to hit all of your favorite spots. 
You don't know if it's despite the painfully slow pace or because of it, but every orgasm feels more shaking than the last, leaving you not only panting but wanting more, and he'll give you exactly that. His pace switches quickly, leaving you just enough time to let out a small yelp before he starts that punishing pace that makes you see stars, just before he cums inside of you, the slightly bioluminescent seed painting your beautifully smooth thighs, as he makes sure to touch your skin some more and let you know just how pretty you are, calling you his favorite star in the galaxy.
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dcxdpdabbles · 7 months
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In Freelance Inventor, does anyone in JL know about Danny? Do they try to help the kids Parent Trap Danny and Bruce? Does Selina know about Danny?
Batman is acting strange.
It's often that Clark thinks this. He feels a bit guilty judging people like that, but no one in the league, or hell, the world, can deny that Batman is an abnormal human.
If he even is human.
Not much is known about one of the founding members of the Justice League, and while Clark and Diana are arguably the closest to him, they don't even know his real name. Not that it was a problem.
They would trust him with their lives and learn to turn to him for leadership in dire times. It always seemed like he was prepared for literally anything, and when something managed to suppress the Dark King, it didn't last long, for he had a backup plan formed seconds later.
That's how they work. How the three changed a necessary alliance into a globally recognized league of heroes.
While Clark was good at making feel people feel safe, and Diana could rally forces, Batman had a way of making the impossible happen. Together the three tackled the world's problems making one day better at a time.
That did nothing to make people feel slightly....uneased by Batman. Clark was man enough to admit that even he got spooked. One time, he offhanded mentioned that he could recognize heartbeats when talking to Oliver and Batman.
Batman had tilted his head, made direct eye contact with Clark and suddenly, his heart rate had slowed down, beating entirely different. Clark felt horrified when the Dark Knight kept that same heartbeat for the following week, only switching mid-meeting to a faster one than the previous two.
Clark is Kryptonian. He is an alien. Sure, he developed most during puberty, but he always had superstrength and super speed as a tot. That's why he doesn't make sense, but Batman?
He had no idea what was going on with Batman, and frankly, he didn't want to touch the subject with a ten-foot pole.
Yet he could not help but think of the strange little hermit as a friend. Batman, in his own way, cared deeply for people. He never mentioned it but he always support heroes in their daily lives and although he grumbled a bit, was always there when someone needed him.
Yes, he wasn't the most approachable of heroes and a bit too professional, but he was still one of the greatest heroes in history for a reason. Clark always felt better of their chances when Batman was involved.
Seeing even a hit of disbalance in the Dark Knight made him worry.
Batman never lingered after meetings, training or monitor duty. Once he finished he was heading straight back to Gotham sometimes without a by your leave.
Batman did not do that today. Instead, he was staring out the watch tower's common room into the stars and hadn't moved for over two hours. Plenty of other heroes had already fled the room, too unnerved by the silent brooding man.
The last time this happened was because Robin had first shown up, shocking the world with his bright, impish laughter from Batman's shadows. Batman had taken months trying to decided to let the boy join him, and only because Robin straight up did not give him a option did he allow it.
Clark had been with Diana, angry that he was dragging a child into such dangerous situations only to have the Bat tell them to "stop him yourself then"
He did, but no matter how many times he captured Robin the boy was back on the streets a few hours later. Clark felt his hair grey from ever second he spent with the angry child. Diana hand't had much luck.
In fact the boy had, somehow bended in a way that had scared her into thinking she broken his spin, to escape her lasso. Her moment of fright was the opening he needed to scurry away, shouting at the top of his lungs that he would never be stopped.
She respected him but still captured the boy a few hours later. She screamed when Batman called her again to let her know the boy was seen fighting a gang at the ports that same night.
What could possibly cause Batman to stress the same way as his son? The founding members weren't sure, but they were all staring at him from the doorway after noticing every other hero avoiding the place like the plague.
"Go talk to him" Hal hissed at Clark.
"Me?" Clark spluttered. "Why me?"
"He is less likely to kill you," Barry tells him with the gravest expression Clark has ever seen on his face. "You are also the most likely one to survive Batman's attempt on your life if he decides to kill you."
Superman gapes at him, twisting around to all his teammates but everyone is either nodding or avoiding his eyes. They all decided he was the sacrifice it seemed. Traitors.
But it's true he is worried about his friend. He is slightly afriad of his friend but Clark would not be able to sleep at night if he didn't at least reach out to Batman.
Taking a deep breath to steel his nerves, he twists on his heel and marches over to the dark figure. He tries to shake the feeling of walking to his executor as he finally carefully stops by Batman's side. He doesn't look at him, keeping his gaze on the stars.
Neither man said anything, peacefully observing the darkness and lights of space.
Clark waited about thirty seconds before the silence got too much for him. "Er, Batman? Is everything alright?"
Batman didn't even twitch, a tight frown- more turn down on the right corner to then the left which meant it was a nervous kind of upset instead of annoyed upset as ussal. A full minute goes by where Clark wonders if Batman even heard him about to start babbling to try to get some conversation going when the man speaks.
"Superman, have you ever been in love?"
Clark swears he never experienced whiplash this badly. He honestly thinks the loud crack that came from his neck when he turned it in shock to the other Leaguer meant that he broke it.
Batman held no hint that he said anyhting but Clark could still hear the question echoing in his head as he gaped. He got ahold of himsrlf when he noticed Batman's heart beat pick up- nervous, embarssed. even fighten?- and his shoulder hitched up slightly.
Crude he made his friend feel bad.
"No! No no! I was just surprised, is all," He cries, waving his hands. Lois's face flashes in his mind, causing him to smile slightly dropply. "I have. I am actually. There this girl- at my work. She's great. Um, why do you ask?"
"....how do you know you're in love?"
Boy, was Clark really having this conversation at his age? He felt like a fumbling teenager. Granted, he only had one girlfriend back in high school, and he was fairly sure she only dated him to piss off her dad.
Still this was great! He has never had a conversation this deep with Batman before!
"I'm not sure if it's the same for Kryptonians as it is humans- you are human right?"
"Yes."
Oh, so Batman was just like that. Good to know.
"Well, I knew from how she made me feel nervous but happy nervous? As if the world was brighter. Better. And when I'm not near her, all my thoughts somehow return to her." Clark thinks of how to best explain love, turning the world over in his head before snapping his fingers. "You know when you just adore a certain food? That no matter how often you eat it or how long it's been, it just makes you feel better? There isn't a real reason why you like it so much you just do. That's what she's like for me."
Batman nods slowly. He might not be able to see his eyes but Clark could image them softening just by the way his whole body relaxes. "I see. Then I am in love. Thank you."
He turns away before Clark can get his jaw off the floor. Batman stride right out the room, ingorre the scrambling heros who try to act like they weren't easedropping and vanishes in a flash of light back to Gotham.
He did all that as if nothing had happened.
Clark has half the mind to think he just haluciated the entire five minutes before Barry blurted. "Batman is in love?! That's amazing!"
They spent the rest of the night trying to guess who was the person that could have possibly romanced Batman.
Barry and Hal were convinced it was another vampire- they didn't believe the Dark Knight was telling the truth when he claimed he was human- while both Diana and Arthur both claimed the person had to be a deadly warrior.
J'onn was under the impression it had to be someone who was the polar opposite of Batman. On Mars, that was the common couple dynamic. Thus, the person Batman loved was likely a civilian. A dumb sociable one.
He didn't say Bruce Wayne exactly, but J'onn heavily implied Bruce Wayne. He even pointed out that Mr. Wayne financed everything the Leauge used from the very beginning, of course in secert but it was still his money.
Why would he do that if he wasn't somehow profoundly involved? Obviously, the billionaire wanted Batman safe, maybe even returned his feelings. The rest of the Leauge looks half convinced by the logic.
Personally? Clark was just happy that Batman found anyone at all. No matter who they were, he would do everyhting he could to help his friend woo his crush.
That's what friends are for, after all.
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multific · 9 months
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Constellation
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Wolf Yautja x Reader
Summary: You loved living alone in your cottage. You moved out to be alone for a reason, you hated people, and you wanted to be left alone. And you were alone until a certain pair of eyes started following you.
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You saw the news on the TV.
Aliens.
And yet you ignored it.
You tried to live the life you wanted for so long as best as you could.
For as long as you could.
You still took care of your land, fed your animals and did your daily chores as usual.
You did see a couple of ships pass over your home but nothing more.
You have never seen an alien. Only on TV.
It appeared that they were fighting. 
Then the government decided to nuke the city to kill both aliens.
It looked like it was the end of it all.
But little did you know, for you, it was only the beginning. 
You had a feeling that you were being watched. 
The feeling not quite leaving you alone. You tried to look. You walked around your land, in the woods, nothing, no one. 
Could it be that you were becoming more and more paranoid? Could it be because of isolation?
You were imagining things.
Until one evening, when you heard noises inside your house.
Loud distinctive noises of someone walking around.
Fear struck you. 
You couldn't move out of bed. You just laid there, blankets up to your chin as you were shaking. Your heart beat out of your chest as the door to your room opened.
The person was huge, way too tall for a human, they had to dodge under the door to move in.
Then, came a clicking sound.
This is when you realized, this was no human.
There was a God damn alien in your home!
You knew you couldn't do anything. This thing could tear you apart in a matter of seconds.
You pretended to be asleep, hoping it would leave.
It watched you for a minute or two, which for you felt like an eternity before it left.
After the alien creature left, you rushed to see how it got in.
All doors and windows were locked from the inside. But you surely heard its footsteps moving into the woods next to your home.
You were utterly confused.
How did it get in?!
Why did it get in? What did it want?
It didn't take anything, it didn't hurt you, so what could it want?!
For the upcoming days, you didn't sleep.
The thing came every night, sometimes late in the night sometimes earlier. It just stood there and did nothing.
By the third time you were considering asking it what did it want. Or staying awake to see how it would react.
But you were too afraid.
Then two weeks later, as you were leaving your home, the skull of a deer with antlers was on your porch. It was placed there delicately, facing the door so you wouldn't miss it.
You were sure it was the alien.
Was this its sign to show you that it could kill you? You already knew that.
You took the skull and left it on your porch. You thought if you ignored it long enough, it would get tired and just leave you alone.
But it didn't.
The next day, another animal skull was placed on your steps. Looked to be a cat or a dog.
Then, something like a fox and finally, a wolf skull.
You began to have quite a collection. But you didn't understand. Was this thing trying to intimidate you?
It was working.
You just refused to leave because you spent your life building this place into a home.
But, was your life worth staying?
It showed that it could easily kill you.
But then why was it hiding?
Why did it already kill you and take what it wanted?
What did it want?
--- 2 months ago ---
Yautja prided themselves if they died during a fight.
It was the most honourable death they could ever ask for.
He fought many xenomorphs. One even left its scar on him. 
And yet, now as he was fighting, he survived.
He got back on his ship and left, but his ship got damaged and it broke down in the woods.
Wolf had to fix his ship so he could go back to Yautja Prime.
On his way to find some materials he could use he stumbled upon a farm, he knew some humans lived out in the wild in their houses, away from other humans.
He hid behind a tree and observed, trying to figure out if this human opposed any danger to him.
The first time he saw you was when you took care of your crops.
He concluded that you were nothing but a harmless little human.
And yet, for the next two weeks, he found himself watching you. He sat up on the tree and watched you all day and fixed his ship all night.
He walked around your crops, looking at everything.
To him, it was clear that you were a provider. Much like the females on his planet, you took care of food while the males hunted.
But you had no male. Which was quite interesting to him.
How come no male humans wanted you as their mate?
One night, he got brave and decided to go inside the house while you slept.
He checked your home and found nothing of interest besides you.
He watched as you slept.
He stood there for hours, watching you. 
You were so different from him, yet so similar. 
You preferred to be alone, much like him. 
You didn't have a mate, much like him.
He liked you. Which was extremely rare for him. During his life, he never looked for anyone like he did for you.
And so, he made his decision.
He will court you, win you and bring you back to his planet.
It was a simple plan for him.
And so, the first skull was placed on your doorstep.
You yawned as you got out of the bath, heading to the kitchen for some water before heading to bed, you stopped in your tracks.
It was here.
It was standing right in front of you. It was huge and grey and green and tall and... and you nearly fainted.
You knew you couldn't fight this thing. 
You had no chance against it.
It raised its hands and pulled its helmet off, revealing its face.
This alien looked a lot like the one you saw on the TV once.
The one that fought the other.
You noted the scar on its face as it made a clicking sound. It started to walk towards you, you backed up into the fridge. 
It raised its hand and placed a palm against your cheek. You looked into its eyes for the first time.
And somehow, you felt calm.
It made you calm down.
He made you calm down.
"What do you want?" you asked, hoping he would understand.
But he just made the same clicking sound as he did before. 
"Why did you leave the skulls?" you asked and he moved his hand to the armour on his wrist and pushed a couple of buttons.
"Gi-fts." said a very broken robotic voice.
"Why did you leave me gifts?" you watched as he pushed more buttons.
"Gifts for Mate." 
"Mate?" you asked and he nodded. Realization hit you and you realized, he was leaving you gifts so that he could court you. This must be an alien custom. "What are you?"
"Yautja."
"What's your name?"
"Wolf." the machine seemingly translated his name, but it was okay. "Your name?"
"My name is Y/N."
He nodded again.
"I want to take you to my planet. So we can marry." your eyes widened.
"Marry?"
"Strong female," he pointed at you, "Strong male." you would have assumed that he would have some issue having to marry you, wouldn't they only marry their own?
"Give me time. Two months. T-Then I will go with you." what were you saying? Why did you say that?! You didn't want to go! But you had no other options! This... Wolf clearly would get what he wants.
Maybe... those two months will be enough for you to get used to the thought.
Maybe those two months will be enough for you to grow some form of attachment. 
Maybe... hopefully.
For the next two months, he stayed with you in the house. 
The first week there was a lot of rain and storm so you were inside.
Most of the time you just kept looking at him or watched TV. He didn't speak, but he did notice the skulls you put up above your fireplace.
It filled him with pride, it meant you liked his presents.
That you accepted his courting.
For the upcoming days you cooked for both of you, since you weren't exactly sure what food he liked, you tried steak with potatoes. You can't go wrong with that.
And you didn't. He enjoyed it very much. Then the next day, he brought you cut meat, from where you were afraid to ask.
But you did cook everything that he brought to your home.
And he ate it all.
He still watched as you slept.
But instead of panicking, you found yourself enjoying having him there. He made you feel safe and you found that you wouldn't be able to fall asleep without him in the room. 
You woke up each and every morning more and more comfortable in his presence, which did make you worry.
Turned out, you didn't hate company, you hated human company.
Wolf being the big alien that he was tried his best to be careful around you. He followed you everywhere, he watched you and learned. 
He learned a lot about you from just watching you in the woods, but now, now he knew even more.
He saw the way you worked, how gentle and delicate you could be. But he also watched you chop up wood, showing that you can be strong when need be.
He liked it.
He was proud to pick such an amazing Mate.
It was the last day, two months had gone by and his ship was ready, he was ready.
He entered your house and found you in the kitchen, you looked out your window as if trying to memorize everything. But when you realized that he was behind you, you turned and smiled at him. A gesture he wished he could give back.
"I'm almost ready." you said with a heavy heart, but you were also ready to leave and be with Wolf, see where that path would take you.
And you felt ready for the adventure, it scared you but you felt ready.
You just wanted to remember this place.
You looked back out the window when he came up behind you, standing behind you, you felt his huge body but you didn't feel scared. 
It felt good.
He felt safe.
He was a good two heads taller than you.
You didn't say a word as you turned around and looked at him. You really looked at his scar and his eye. You knew he still could see with it, but his vision wasn't the best on that one.
You could also assume that one of his... mandibles was missing. It's place is still present.
You wished you could ask, you wished he could tell you. He lowered himself, allowing you to reach his face as you reached up and ran your fingers down his scars.
You wished you were there to help him, you could have eased his pain.
And, just like that, you were ready.
--- 3 years later ---
Yautja Prime was very different from Earth.
Yautja were very different from humans.
You learned that Wolf was quite the loner. His name fit him very well.
He preferred to be alone in his home, working on his ship or head on a mission for a hunt.
He liked being with you.
You two were very similar.
You didn't enjoy the company of others, but you enjoyed having the others around.
On your wedding night, Wolf told you how Yautja found their mates.
He also told you about true mates. Which is what you would call soulmates.
He explained how he felt as if you two were true mates and you didn't agree at the time, but now you did.
Spending your last three years with him, you can confidently say that you are in love with him.
You only feel complete when he is there.
And from what he told you, he felt the same. You wore the necklace he gifted you with pride.
And you waited for him every day when he was away on a hunt. He always came back victorious with many gifts.
He proved his worth to you as a male and a Mate.
And so, you never once regretted coming with him. Even if you were nervous in the beginning.
He made sure you had a warm bed, filled with furs.
Every night he came to the bed, he held you close to him, keeping your smaller body close and safe.
You slept with the confidence of having him there. Knowing he would protect you if anything was to happen.
Not like anything ever did.
You found yourself not missing your old life.
The view you spent so much time trying to memorize, long forgotten. 
All because of him.
You woke up every morning in his arms.
His body wasn't warm nor was it cold. But the feeling of his skin under your fingers always lets you know that he was there.
And you couldn't ask for more.
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rain0tes · 1 month
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Can't stop thinking about Satoru and Suguru with a loser!reader like.
Satoru and Suguru, who are the popular kids at your uni. Athletic, smart, and attractive, they had it all, and all of the girls (and some boys, even) were swooning over them.
Pathetic little you who looked like an eyesore standing beside them whenever the three of you walked the hallways. Nobody really knew why Satoru and Suguru chose to hang out with you, and frankly, you're not sure either.
Sure, you three have been friends since middle school. But you didn't think it'd be grounds enough for them to still keep you around, especially when they're so popular and you're just...well.
Low maintenance would be an understatement. You never really cared much for your own appearance or how you appeared to others. You just wanted to graduate, really.
Still, the two beanstalks practically drag you everywhere they can. To small little outings in cafés, or walks in the park while you shit talk one of your professors, or going to the arcade you three have been frequenting since you were pre-teens.
Even when the two start dating girls left and right, you three remained close.
You can't even count the number of times they've introduced a girlfriend to you anymore, and quite frankly, you're starting to feel bad for the poor soul that they introduce to you every other week or so.
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Satoru and Suguru who keep you around because it's nice to just have someone to be emotionally intimate without any romance.
Sometimes, it's nice to just have someone who they can lounge around lazily without any romantic/sexual tension.
Having someone to warm their bed whenever they pleased was nice, but they'd usually lose interest by the third week. They didn't really connect with anyone further than they needed to. That's what you're for!
Their loser friend, who they inadvertently share their deepest, darkest secrets to. Their loser friend who rolls their eyes when they're both hungover in the morning after a party (that you refused to go to) but already has coffee and advil on the ready.
Their loser friend, who they unknowingly seek out for comfort whenever they're in a bad mood, laying their head on your shoulder while you play with their hair as they rant about literally anything and everything.
It's nice. It's purely platonic, surely. Totally.
That was until the second the second year of uni rolls around, and you start putting in more effort into how you look.
At first, they're absolutely baffled when they first see you actually dressed up. You had your hair done, your clothes are form fitting, and you're even wearing a bit of makeup.
Did their friend get abducted and get replaced by an alien? Who are you?
The changes weren't immediate, but they noticed it all the same. You got your hair cut. You got better at makeup. Your clothes changed from baggy to more form-fitting, more flattering clothes over time as you grew into your style.
Clearly, they weren't the only ones who noticed the change because suddenly it's not so odd that you're there with them when they walk the halls anymore.
You're dolling up to impress someone, clearly, but that someone isn't them. And that idea doesn't sit well in their stomachs.
It's when you start dating and have less time for them that the two eventually realise that they took the fact that they had you all to themselves for granted.
It's only then that they realise that maybe, just maybe, they liked you more than just as a childhood friend.
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bunnys-kisses · 5 months
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werewolf!simon 🐺 (bc happy 3,000 followers to me <3)
you met because you were lost in the woods while camping. it wasn't your fault that all of the trees looked the same! but it led you into simon who led you back to his cabin so you could call the park ranger! simon even made you some tea before he called the land-line.
park ranger johnny or 'soap' said that the truck was out of service so it would have to wait until tomorrow. "you can be a gentleman, right simon?" he laughed over the phone. simon grumbled in response, this wasn't going to be the best idea.
it was the full moon after all.
simon allowed you your personal space as he went about his cabin. he even allowed you to use his bed for the evening. you told him that you were fine on the couch! the issue was that the bedroom could be locked from the outside, usually for his own protection. but tonight it was for yours.
"um... mister simon." you said, "i'm sorry that i'm intruding so much."
"it's alright." he got up from his spot in front of the fireplace. he walked past you and rubbed your hair as he went by, "the woods aren't a safe place."
"i was told only deer hang around here."
he chuckled, "you should be more afraid of men." he went to the nearby kitchen and grabbed a beer from the fridge. he opened it with ease and took a sip, "man destroys."
"well." you stepped forward in a daring move, "you're a man and you're taking good care of this place." you swallowed, "i don't think the entire species is doomed."
he chuckled and took another sip, "i'm not a man."
you stilled, "so like an alien."
he put the beer down and pulled away from the counter, "more beast than man. every full moon, beasts like me roam the woods. sometimes we get a little hungry."
"so you would've eaten me?" you swallowed, you balled your fists just in case you had to make an escape.
he approached you, but you were frozen still. instead of touching you with force, it was so gentle. his thumb was dragged down your cheek, "no. i don't hurt pretty things. but i would've snapped my fangs at anything that tried to come near your tent. so for your sake, stay in my room. so i can't hurt you."
you found the courage to touch him back. your fingers dragged down the scar on his face, "but what if they come too close to your home?"
he smiled a little, "i'll give you my shotgun."
you swallowed, "well.. mister simon. maybe i need your protection?" it was better that you had a familiar face around the cabin instead of leaving it all up to chance.
he cupped your face, "i could hurt you."
you shrugged a little, "i'd rather you hurt me then some other man."
he brushed his thumb across your cheek, "well. then i guess i have to be on good behaviour then." then leaned in to kiss you on your forehead, "but i'll need to cover you with my scent."
you were soon stripped, you realized that simon has no sense of modesty. eventually you were tossed on the bed like you were a bag of potatoes. and simon pressed his weight onto you.
you pressed under a man who could easily snap your bones. but instead, you were doing weird beast-esque skin to skin contact. he rubbed up against you.
"mister simon." you squeaked.
"it's just simon."
"are you sure i can't just wear some of your clothes." they would fit.
"nah. gotta get it right into the skin." he said gruffly as he continued to snuggle against you. you didn't know what scent he was putting on you. all you smelt was old spice and aftershave.
usually for simon, he would've been pent up by now. the day was slowly waning. but he found himself getting tired. the usually sharp werewolf was turning into a metaphorical mush. it was like he felt safe in your arms.
the comfort of simon's bed plus your time hiking left you feeling drowsy too. it wasn't long before you both fell asleep. you didn't even feel the man turn into a wolf.
you simply turned to your side and get comfy against the thick hair that covered you. it was like sleeping under one of those expensive shag rugs that rich people had.
that paired with the weighed allowed you to sleep soundly as the full moon passed the sky. you were a relaxing force to this werewolf and you didn't even know it.
the next morning, johnny came by to pick you up but instead found you under the enormous weight of one simon riley. he was soundly snoring and the ranger just chuckled to himself.
"i'll come back later so you don't ma head off."
(this could be expanded on later. i'm calling it the 'howlin' for you' au aka the werewolf au)
669 notes · View notes
magiccath · 8 months
Text
Secrets big and small
tenth doctor x GN!reader
Summary: in which you are forced to admit your feelings for the Doctor, even if you think he will leave you for it
A/N: For the absolute love of my life and favorite beta, thanks for dealing with me talking about this more than I wrote it
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The Doctor poked his head out of the TARDIS, his nose twitching as he sniffed the air. After a few good inhales, he popped back inside the ship, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration. 
You waited by the ship's console, your hands planted firmly on your hips. The Doctor had promised you a beach vacation, and judging by his face, this wasn’t a beach. Sometimes you wondered how much control the Doctor actually had over the ship, considering it only landed in the places he intended about 25% of the time. 
“We’re not at a beach are we?” 
The Doctor ignored your question and moved over to the console, grabbing one of the many oddly shaped screens attached to the control panel. He pulled his glasses out of his suit pocket, perching the spectacles on the bridge of his nose. 
“Interesting…” He hummed, more to himself than you. 
“Where did we end up this time?” You asked, opening the door to peek outside. You knew better than to walk off without the Doctor, but a little look had never hurt you. 
The minute you opened the door you were met with the bustling noise of a street. All kinds of aliens walked by you, each one unique in their own way. 
“It would appear we landed on the planet Phact, but I’m not sure why.” 
You continued to stare out of the TARDIS wide-eyed, taking in all of the strange creatures before you. Your eyes followed an individual who walked by, a series of tentacles hanging out of his mouth.
“Is it safe?” you asked as an afterthought.
“As far as I know,” the Doctor shrugged, putting his glasses back in his pocket. He moved away from the console to stand at your side by the door. 
You looked over at him, debating if you should tell him that wasn’t exactly a reassuring thought. 
“Since we’re here…” he smiled cheekily, inclining his head toward the door. You laughed and rolled your eyes. The Doctor never could resist a good adventure. 
You followed him out the door, waiting momentarily as he locked the TARDIS up. 
“Remember that time you forgot to tell me it was rude to wear less than three layers on Titan 4?” you ask, watching him slip the key back into his endless coat pockets.
The Doctor shrugs, pushing his hands into his pockets and leaning toward you. “Yeah, what about it?”
“Is there anything I should know about this planet?” you raise your eyebrows questioningly.
The Doctor’s brow wrinkled as he thought about it, trying to remember his limited knowledge about Phact.
“I don’t think so,” he shrugged again, smiling softly. 
You scrunched your nose slightly, not sure you believed him. Still, you followed him.
The Doctor talked excitedly as the two of you walked through the city streets. Most of the time, you only understood half of the words he was saying. Frankly, you just enjoyed listening to him talk.
As you walked your eyes took in everything around you. It didn’t matter how long you traveled with the Doctor, it always seemed like there was more for you to learn and discover. 
The Doctor continued talking, waving his hands about in the air. Abruptly, he stopped to look at a nearby poster. You followed him, trying to peek over his shoulder to see what he was looking at. The Doctor shifted to the side so you could read the sign too, the TARDIS translation circuit making the writing legible to you.
“The 998th Olympic games?” you read aloud, your eyebrows furrowed. 
“That would explain all of the species here!” he smiled brightly, looking at the diverse crowd around you. 
You nodded in agreement, following his gaze. There really did appear to be all kinds of species from around the galaxy. 
“Want to go?” He whispered to you, raising his eyebrows mischievously. 
“We don’t have tickets. Or money.” 
The Doctor wiggled his eyebrows again, pulling the psychic paper out of his pocket. He shook it at you with a mischievous grin.
A smile took over your own face as you nodded, “alright then,” you said excitedly. You’d never been to the Olympics, let alone the space Olympics. 
The Doctor guided you through the crowd towards the giant area, holding your hand tightly so as not to lose you. You tried not to focus too much on the feeling of his hand wrapped around yours. He just didn’t want you to wander off, there wasn’t much else to it, right?
“Y’know I carried the Olympic torch once,” he smirked back at you, still guiding you through the crowds. 
“Why am I not surprised?” 
“What?” the Doctor asked, not catching your comment over the chatter of the crowd. You smiled softly and shook your head, deciding it was best not to repeat yourself.
The Doctor led you to the ticket line, waiting patiently for the guards to check your tickets and let you in. He bounced slightly on his feet, unable to stand still for too long.
“Are you sure this is going to work?” you asked anxiously, eyeing the copious amounts of security surrounding the arena.
“Of course!” the Doctor smiled brightly, rubbing the back of your hand with his thumb. The movement made both of you realize he was still holding your hand, even if he didn’t need to. With a small, hardly discernible blush, the Doctor slid his hand from yours. 
The line moved forward and the guard asked for your tickets. The Doctor winked at you before handing the psychic paper over with a confident smile. 
“Are you serious, mate?” The guard laughed dryly, looking between you and the Doctor. 
“Most of the time,” the Doctor’s confident smile didn’t waver. 
The guard sighed and leaned into his walkie-talkie, chattering softly to someone on the other end. You looked up at the Doctor with wide eyes, urging him to explain.
“Probably getting us a special escort or something,” he shrugged, turning the paper around to see what your fake tickets said. When his eyes landed on the paper his face instantly turned ghostly white.
“Doctor…” you growled softly. 
“W-we should probably run now,” he whispered back. Before you could react, the security guard pulled the two of you firmly to the side. 
“Doctor, what is going on?” You whispered as the guard led the two of you to a police car. At least, you assumed it was a police car. Unless flashing red and blue lights meant something else on other planets, it was definitely a police car. 
“I’m sorry,” the Doctor winced softly as the security guard guided the two of you to an officer. The cop looked you up and down before guiding you inside of the car.
“I would feel a lot better if you told me why.” 
You weren’t necessarily mad about the police car, it wasn’t the first time you had gotten arrested on the Doctor’s behalf. Usually, he was able to get you out of it. You were more frustrated that he wasn’t telling you what was happening. 
“Remember Titan 4?” he winced. 
“Doctor!” you snapped angrily, “I specifically asked you if I needed to know anything about this planet!” 
“Right, I know I’m sorry, I forgot,” he whispered, shaking his head softly. 
“How bad is it?” you sighed, looking down at your lap. 
“They’re not gonna kill us,” he shrugged with a sad smile. 
“What did we even do?”
“You can’t lie on Phact.” 
“Like, physically?” 
The Doctor grimaced, thinking the question through, “not exactly,” he offered. You waited for him to further explain. 
“They can tell telepathically if you lie and that ability extends to psychic paper.” 
“I gathered as such,” you sighed, “but that still doesn't explain why we’re in a cop car” 
“It’s illegal to lie.” 
“Seriously?” you gaped, “any kind of lie?” 
The Doctor nodded.
“Even if you tell your friend she looks fine when she really looks a mess 'cause you want to spare her feelings?”
The Doctor frowned but nodded again, more tentatively this time.
“That’s a horrible idea.” 
“Don’t tell them that.”
You sighed softly in agreement.
“I really am sorry,” he looked at you with those big, sad brown eyes of his. It was very, very hard to stay mad at him when he looked at you like that. It was your weakness.
“It’s fine,” you shook your head. “What are they going to do?” 
Before the Doctor could answer, the car stopped and a cop came around to help you out of the car. The officer led you inside a very space-looking police station to a very Earth-looking interrogation room. You sat next to the Doctor in metal fold-out chairs, a table separating you and the officer. At least they didn’t cuff you.
“Names,” the officer groaned, clicking his pen and hovering it over a yellow legal pad. He had the kind of face and demeanor that told you he would rather be anywhere else.
“The Doctor.” 
“Really funny, what’s your actual name?” the officer frowned. 
“That’s my name,” the Doctor pouted, offended that someone would think it wasn’t. You smiled softly to yourself, finding the Doctor’s disappointed frown adorable.
“Fine,” the officer groaned, scribbling it down on his paper. “Age?”
“904,” he said without blinking. You hid your widening smile with your hand. You were starting to feel a little bad for the police officer. 
“You’re how old?”
“904.”
“Species?”
“Gallifreyan.” 
“Never heard of them,” the officer shook his head, writing it down on his paper. “You lot must age differently,” he grumbled, more towards his paper than the two of you.
“Right, and you?” the officer asked, tilting his head in your direction. 
The Doctor nodded softly at you, urging you to comply with the officer’s wishes. You sighed and answered the same questions. The officer just seemed relieved to write down something less ridiculous. 
“Alright,” he slid the paper pad away from him before leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed “You have been charged with a first-class felony of deception. You will not be fined or executed. To be released from custody you must provide your biggest secret”
“That’s it?” you asked, it seemed a little too simple. The officer nodded, clearly fed up with you and the Doctor.
“Look, folks, let’s just make this easier for all of us and get on with it?”
The Doctor nodded his agreement, casting a nervous look over at you. You nodded back, trying to think of something you could say. You knew easily what your biggest secret was, but you knew you couldn’t say it out loud. Especially not in front of the Doctor. 
“I’m terrified of hospitals,” the Doctor said with a small frown. 
“That’s ironic,” you chuckled, assuming he was making a joke. The officer stared at him for a few minutes, probably thinking the same thing. 
“Checks out,” the officer sighed, writing “scared of hospitals” next to his other notes on the Doctor. “Weird secret, mate,” he added before turning his attention to you.
You fiddled anxiously before leaning back in your seat, your eyes trained on your hands. 
“Does he have to be here for it?” you asked softly. The Doctor looked at you confused, wondering what was so bad you didn’t want him to know. 
“I just admitted I'm terrified of hospitals as a doctor, it can't get worse than that,” he laughed.
“Does he?” you asked the officer, ignoring the Doctor. The cop looked between the two of you; the Doctor staring wide-eyed and open-mouthed at you, and you trying to act like he wasn’t there.
“Yes,” the officer challenged, leaning back in his seat again. You narrowed your eyes at him, wondering if he only said that to see how things would play out. 
“So, what’s your secret?” he smirked, confirming your suspicions. “I’ll know if you’re lying” 
You sighed, trying to steady your racing heart. You wanted to scream, maybe even cry. You wanted to blame the Doctor, even if it wasn’t really his fault. Even more, you wanted to wipe that stupid, smug smile off of the officer’s face.
You took one last look at the Doctor, smiling sadly at him. He looked back at you with confusion, unsure why you were looking at him as if it was the last time you’d ever see him. To you, it felt like it would be. He could never look at you the same, not after this.
“I’m in love with this idiot,” you sighed, cocking your head towards the Doctor. The silence that followed was deafening. While the Doctor’s brain struggled to process your words the officer sized you up, searching for any falsities in your statement. 
“What a strange pair,” the officer shook his head, leaning forward to write on his pad again. “In love with the other one”
You looked at those words scribbled on the thin, crappy paper and felt your heart clench. It was out there now, the Doctor knew. At the moment, you couldn’t think of anything worse. You would rather spend your entire life in prison than have had to admit that.
“You’re free to go,” the officer waved you off, more preoccupied with writing more things on his paper pad. It seemed so simple, yet one little secret had turned your world upside down.
You nodded solemnly and stood up, heading out the door. The Doctor wasn’t far behind you. 
The walk back to the TARDIS was really quiet, a stark contrast from a few short hours ago. You tried not to sulk too much as you walked through the busy streets back to the ship.
The Doctor unlocked the doors without a word, holding them open for you. You walked inside the ship for what you assumed was the last time. The Doctor followed, heading over to the console to mess with a few buttons. 
“I’ll pack my things,” you whispered, more to the floor than the Doctor. You moved towards the hallway that led to your room but the Doctor cut you off. 
“What?” 
“I’ll pack up,” your eyes remained trained on the floor, not wanting to look into his. You knew the Doctor wasn’t going to keep you around after this. It was glaringly clear that he didn’t have those feelings for you, that he couldn’t.
“Why would you do that?” he frowned, moving away from the console. 
“You’re kicking me out.” 
“I think I would know if I was.” He moved so he was standing in front of you, tilting his head down in an attempt to catch your eye. 
“It’s ok,” you shook your head, your eyes trained on your shoes, “I know you don’t want me around anymore.” 
“Is this about the whole secret thing?” the Doctor asked gently.
“I know you don’t feel the same, I never expected you to,” you shook your head, averting your gaze again. “I’d understand if you just wanted to drop me back at home.” 
“Is that what you want?” 
You shook your head, clearing your throat, “It’s not exactly about what I want is it?” 
The Doctor remained silent, his mind working for the right thing to say. He didn’t fully comprehend what was happening. 
“You’re under the assumption that I’m going to drop you because you love me?” He said softly, still trying to catch your eye. 
“Is that not what’s happening right now?” You frowned, confused. 
The Doctor laughed softly, moving away from you with one long stride. He ran his hands through his hair, tugging at the spiky strands. You continued to frown at him, confused by his demeanor. 
“I can establish a psychic block,” he explained, waving his hands about as he talked. You frowned, confused as to why he was talking about this now. “I told the officer a secret, but I didn’t tell him my greatest secret.”
He had the kind of look on his face he got when he was trying, and failing, to figure something out. It was a look you knew well at this point, you had just never been the cause of it. 
“There’s so much of you in my head,” he groaned, waving his hands by the sides of his face, “which is saying a lot 'cause I have more in my head than you will ever experience in your entire life.” 
You gaped at him, unsure what you were supposed to say in this scenario. Was this his secret?
“You take up so much space,” he emphasized exasperatedly, repeatedly running his hands through his hair. “Even when you’re not here I’m constantly thinking about you!” He leaned his hands against the console, hanging his head as he continued rambling.
You stared at him like he had grown a second head. No, three extra heads. And a tail. 
“I’m sorry, what?” you asked.
The Doctor moved back over to you, reaching out to cradle your face in his hands. He cupped your cheeks gently and bent his head forward so your foreheads connected. 
“You take up so much space,” he whispered, his breath fanning across your face. “And the fact that you can’t see that kills me, it really kills me.”
“Doctor-” you whispered in shock. In your mind, there was only ever one way that the Doctor could react to your feelings, and this certainly wasn’t it. “Are you saying what I think you are?” 
The Doctor laughed sharply, shaking his head against yours, “You’re clueless, y’know that?”
“You’re not much better,” you frowned back. “But that doesn’t answer my question.” Your heart thudded against your chest, threatening to beat right out of your body. The mere implication that the Doctor could have even a shred of feelings for you was sending your senses into overdrive.
“Yes, I am,” he whispered. That was all you needed. You knew it was hard for him to say things like this. He wasn’t exactly the “I love you” type. The fact that he had said this much already was a wonder. 
You didn’t really think about it, you just kissed him. His lips fit against yours perfectly and the kiss was over much sooner than either of you had wanted.
Your face was still cradled in his hands as the Doctor bent down to press another, quicker kiss against your lips, returning the act of affection. You smiled happily as he pulled back, looking up at him with pure adoration.
“Are you really afraid of hospitals though?” you asked, your eyebrows furrowed. 
“Terrified,” he shook his head.
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ilylovelyz · 1 year
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papa!atsumu who proves time and time again that he's a huge sucker for his precious family.
the pregnancy of his girlfriend (you), was unplanned and somewhat expected, being atsumu have not been being safe with you for the past few weeks.
the two of you were young, barely even 25, you had thought that atsumu would be against it, wanting independence and that delicious feeling of no baggage.
and yet, when he found out you were pregnant, he was over the moon.
it was almost surprising, best care scenario was him saying, "oh cool," — you didn't expect him to scoop you into his arms bridal style and kiss you all over.
it seemed he loved the idea of being a father, and especially being the father to your children, his adorable highschool sweetheart.
he was quick to tell his brother first, and then the rest of his family, and whichever close friends he had, nonstop yapping about how he was gonna be a dad, and how he's gonna have such cute kids.
he immediately brings up the idea of getting married to you, it wasn't a foreign topic for the both of you, it was just something the two of you never got around to doing.
he didn't mind it he had to elope and have a small get together, he just wanted to see you have his last name, liking the way it rolled off his tongue, "miya y/n."
during your entire pregnancy, he was nonstop hovering and touching your stomach, getting excited whenever he felt the baby's kick.
it almost seemed he talked to the baby more than he talked to you at some point, either rambling on about his day or crap-talking his own brother.
it was almost refreshing, to see a new side of this once carefree guy.
now, he was wanting to spend more time with you at home, sometimes skipping practice just to be with you, saying that he'll just "practice from home."
he just wanted to lay his head into your lap, his arms wrapped around your waist as he whispered sweet nothings to your unborn baby.
it was almost endearing to see him become especially 10x more protective of you, giving a death glare to anyone that came too close to you. never failed to say how amazing you looked pregnant with his baby.
while he wasn't sure what he wanted to name the baby, he just knew he wanted it to sound "cool".
god, you wish you took a picture of the look on his face when you told him you weren't just having one baby, but two. you thought maybe that fact would get him scared, but once again, you were proven wrong.
"two for the price of one, how cool," he would say, his hand cradling his chin as he thought.
"atsumu, that's not how it works.."
he wanted both a girl and a boy, a girl because he liked the idea of a mini you, and a boy just so he would do "boy" things with.
he did look a little nervous when it was revealed you were having two girls instead.
your pregnancy cravings made him do a double-take, but he would always end up watching you with his arms crossed, an eyebrow raised with shock at whatever concoction you made.
he was almost late for the birth.
he frantically cursed at whoever was in his way while speeding on the way to the hospital, cursing the damn geezers who were still for some reason driving like they were in slow motion.
he felt really mad at himself for being late to the labor, kissing your sweaty forehead as he mumbled promises against your skin, promising to make it up to you later.
he was really supportive during the birth, his hand never leaving yours, yelling bouts of encouragement and never once complained when your grip became a little too tight for his liking because if anything, he was impressed at your strength.
he couldn't help but shed a tear or two when he first held his baby-girls.
how precious, maybe a little alien looking, but still precious.
he cursed to hell, cheekily making a comment about how someone must've been cutting onions.
absolutely adored his girls, showing them off to anyone who had working eyes. nothing made him happier than when they giggled at the silly faces he would make.
as they got older, their preference for their father showed greatly, and atsumu knew this very well, making a snide comment or two about how he was the "favorite".
the carefree man you once knew was gone, now being replaced with this protective and almost anxious guy who cried when his daughters first went to daycare.
your daughters for sure took after their father in many ways, as they somehow inherited their father's sassy attitude and confidence.
it never failed to make you laugh when atsumu was being mercilessly ganged up on by two toddlers, taunting him ruthlessly.
he'd try his best to counter their sassiness, but would ultimately find himself "wondering" where they got this attitude from.
oh, how he loved his daughters greatly, even when they were bullying him until he was red in the face, even when they were nasty and sick and borderline contagious with whatever illness they had.
he adored his daughters, never wanting to waste a single moment away from them. cuddle time was a special time to him, one on either side of him as they all drifted to sleep, disney movie long forgotten.
no, he'd never fail to say it, nor would he ever shy away from the fact that he's a proud father to his precious baby-girls.
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obsessedwrhys · 24 days
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ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ WILD CHILD
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ᯓ★ Your emo best friend fucks you in the woods. Both characters are 18+!! MDI!! Smut, cunnilingus, p in v, virgin reader, unprotected sex, smoking (reader is inexperienced), degradation, reader is a preppy girl!! (First smut so its not perfect)
ᯓ★
You found yourself standing at the front of his house. Apparently it's been a while since you guys have hung out due to your busy lives, so you two agreed to make time and meet up today to catch up.
You knocked on the door a couple of times and it took a couple of seconds before somebody opens it. A smile made it to your face when you saw it was none other than your best friend.
He was still the same.
Same black hair.
Same jeans and tees.
But he's gotten more tattoos and piercings.
Regardless, his lack of change was comforting in a way.
"Hi" He said, pulling his headphones off and despite the distance between you both, you could still hear the faint loud music playing.
"Hey, how have you been?" You said, deciding to start some small talk while he closed the door behind him before walking alongside you.
He shrugs.
"I've been good, what about you?" He barely looks at you, his eyes glued to the ground.
"I'm getting by... so where are you taking me exactly?" You asked, intrigued from his text that he sent you the other night. How he promised to take you somewhere special.
"The woods"
The woods?
The way he answered so bluntly made you chuckle a bit.
"Are you planning to kill me? Hide my body in the woods so nobody will find me" You joked and it was enough to have the corner of his lips twitch into a smile.
"Maybe? Who knows..." He said.
After a few moments of walking, you guys made it to the woods but now you aren't sure where exactly this special place is considering how you guys are already walking past so many beautiful places. Especially the stream you saw just now. Suddenly the path became bumpy, overtaken by rocks and roots that it took all your focus not to trip on it.
"Take my hand" He said, offering you his hand with his back turned to you. Without hesitation, you took it, feeling the familiar warmth and roughness of his palm.
Eventually you two made it to the place. There were multiple blankets on the mattress placed on the ground, a mini portable stove, and a lantern placed just nearby. From how he decorated it, it looked awfully cozy.
"Welcome to my spot, no one in my family knows where this is so I can be alone. I also do my homework here sometimes and this is also the place where I nap" He said and sat atop of the blankets. His eyes focused on you as he watches you still standing there.
"Sounds relaxing" You commented, looking around a bit before joining him on the blanket.
The second you made yourself comfortable, he pulls out a packet of cigarettes and a lighter. You watch as he lights one up before inhaling it. It was when he sees you staring so much that he hands it to you.
"Here, try one. They aren’t that bad once you get used to them" He lifts it slightly to urge you on even more. You hesitated... before taking it from between his fingers.
You examine it almost like it's alien.
"How do you use this?" You asked and he couldn't help but smile a little at how lost you are.
To him it's like watching a baby take its first step.
"Just put it between your lips and suck on it. You aren’t swallowing or blowing it out your nose. You just wanna breathe the smoke in and out of your lungs" He instructed but despite his guidance, you were still confused.
You put it between your lips and tried to inhale the smoke but it seemed that the heavy smell overwhelmed you to the fact you ended up coughing. He laughs at you as he took the cigarette out from your hand.
"Wow you really suck at this" He said, his hand being quick to rub your back while you continued on coughing.
Right before putting out the cigarette, he took one last drag and then tossed it away. Your eyes were clearly red and so was your face burning.
Then you felt movement of him laying down, you looked to see him patting on the empty spot behind you, signalling you to lay down as well. And you did just that.
"There you go, more cozy" He said.
And he wasn't wrong.
You could feel your mind being at ease from being present at the moment. It's like all your responsibilities are gone.
"I could fall asleep like this..." You uttered and he turns to look at you.
"Then you should come here with me more..." From the thought itself, you couldn't help but laugh at his words.
"My mom would kill me. She doesn't even know I'm here right now"
"Well, maybe I’ll help you do things your mom would kill you over someday. How about I help you experience life more?" He smiled and you weren't sure but you had a feeling he was being flirty with you when he said that.
Or it could just be the tobacco getting to your head...
"When did you even learn how to smoke?" You turned to your side to face him and he mirrors you.
He shrugs.
"I don’t remember. It wasn’t that long after my first breakup though. I stole a pack of smokes from my mom, it felt good the first time so I kept doing it. I also do other things to calm down but this is just my preferred choice" He said and your brows narrowed a bit by the mention of his ex.
"The girl who cheated on you?"
"Yeah... I don't really wanna talk about her" He sighs.
"I understand" You replied and he stares at you, a mischievous glint showing in his eyes. One that has gotten you into too much trouble during your years of friendship.
"Do you have an ex?" He asks and you scoff in disbelief.
"I wish but my mom says I can't until I'm 30 or something"
"Sheesh..."
He stares at you, again with the same look but his lips are now curving into a smirk.
"So you never kissed a boy?" He asked and the forwardness of his question made you go quiet for a second.
"No" You answered.
You weren't sure if it was just you but you could feel the tension in the air grow thicker, making it harder to breath.
"Do you know how to?"
"Not really"
He chuckles, almost finding your innocence adorable.
"It’s not hard, I could teach you if you want" He offered that for a second you thought you were hearing things.
"You're messing with me right?"
"Nono I'm serious, it's completely up to you if you wanna learn. You don't wanna embarrass yourself in front of your future boyfriend right?"
The way he said it with a snarky look made it so tempting.
"I guess it wouldn't hurt to try"
You cleared your throat awkwardly when he moved himself closer to you. He looks at you, almost unbothered by all of this.
"How exactly do you kiss?" You asked and he thinks for a while.
"Eh... it's... better if I demonstrate it... you just do it like this" He places a hand on the back of your neck and you felt your chest flutter when he pressed his lips on yours.
It was so soft.
He kisses you almost in a gentle, yet passionate way. His piercing felt cold and tasted metallic against your lips. You felt your mind spin but the moment his teeth bit down on your bottom lip, you couldn't contain the sound you made from it. Your reaction causing him to grin as he kissed you longer before pulling away.
“Like that... did you get it?" He said but you were too busy registering what just happened.
Guilty enough, you really liked it.
Probably a little too much.
You slightly rubbed your thighs together, experiencing the same burning feeling you'd feel during those nights you had the house to yourself.
You were too caught up in your thoughts that you failed to notice the way he was staring at your thighs.
Fuck the sight alone made him excited.
"Are you... horny right now?" He asked, a cocky look on his face.
That's when you finally snapped back to thinking rationally.
Your mom would kill you if you did something like this!!
"Ah shit sorry—"
"No don't apologise. I'm also horny" He said, his voice getting quieter as he inches closer to kiss you on the lips again.
You couldn't help but whimper at how rough he was being with you. And he'd laugh, the sounds you were making just encouraging him even more. As the kiss progresses, he'd push you back a bit so that he was on top of you.
With your arms pinned above your head, his lips trailed down to kissing your neck, leaving bites and marks everywhere it landed on. The hardness of his teeth biting down on your skin made it harder to keep quiet.
You were embarrassed.
You never thought that your best friend would be pulling these noises out of you.
"Fuck... I want you so badly, do you want me too?" He asks, looking up at you as he nibbled on your shirt. His makeup making him appear undeniably irresistible.
The sight left you breathless that you could only respond by nodding to his question.
"Yes..."
He smiles hearing you allow him to continue.
"C'mon, let me get you out of your clothes. I'm gonna take good care of you, okay?" He grabs you firmly on the waist and you did as he told.
Carefully, he helped you strip off of your clothes until you were nearly naked. The bulge on his pants growing unmistakable just from looking at you.
"You're so pretty..." He'd mumble, pushing you back on the mattress.
Feeling like your heart's gonna explode, you watched as he trailed his fingers between your clothed folds.
You let out a soft moan, sensitive to his touch.
"You're already so wet for me..." He sighed, rubbing his now wet fingers together.
Growing impatient, he rolled your panties down your thighs until they were completely off. The sight of your pussy glistening made him swallow.
"I wanna taste you— can I?" He pleaded with his eyes begging for a yes and naturally you let him.
"Thank you" He'd say before kneeling down between your legs and lowering himself til he was face to face to the sensitive spot of your body.
You felt the warmth of his breath against you, sending a shiver of anticipation through your body. It feels like everything is happening so fast. You shut your eyes as you felt his hands grip on your thighs, gently spreading them wider to grant him better access.
"You've never had anyone eat you out right?" He asks almost dizzy from the moment alone.
"Never" You said and he moan softly at the thought of him being your first.
If anything it boosted his ego.
With agonizing slowness, his tongue slid along your folds, tracing the delicate contours. You arched your back, a soft moan escaping your lips as the sensations overwhelmed you. His lips sealed around your sensitive nub, sucking gently as his tongue danced across the bundle of nerves.
"Oh God!!" You screamed, your hands instinctively reaching for his hand.
He groans and the vibration on his tongue against your clit made you even more aroused.
The pace of his ministrations quickened, his tongue lapping and swirling that it had your hips bucked against his mouth, desperate for more. You were lost in the haze of ecstasy, your world narrowed down to the incredible sensations he was creating between your legs.
"F-Fuck— Feels so good" You cried.
His grip on your thighs tightened til his nails were digging in your skin, trying his best to hold you steady as he worked. The air was thick with the sounds of your shared gasps and moans. With how loud you were, it's a good thing he chose to bring you to the woods.
"Mm... you close?" He asked, the wet sounds beneath you making you draw closer to the edge.
"Mhm" You nodded with your eyes closed.
Suddenly his fingers dig into the soft flesh between your inner thighs, making you gasp. But before you could process it, his tongue swirled faster and the strokes growing more insistent as he pumped his fingers in and out of you. You felt the pressure building, a feeling thrumming through your body.
"I'm— I'm coming!!" You gasped, your chest rising and falling fast at the build up of your orgasm.
"Yesyesyes— let go for me baby" Your juices were now getting all over his chin and hand from his brutal pace but he loved it, he loved having himself coated in your scent.
You arched your back as your lips parted, you moaned and he moaned along with you, matching the volume of how good he was making you feel.
Your body convulsed with the intensity of the orgasm, wave after wave of blinding pleasure washing over you. But he didn't stop and continued his ministrations. Your vision whited out, the world shrinking down to just the two of you and the all-consuming bliss.
"Mmm..." He hums, lapping at every last drop he could get out of you.
When the aftershocks finally subsided, you lay there, boneless and spent, gazing down at your best friend who began taking off his shirt, revealing his defined chest and the ridges of his abdomen both covered entirely by tattoos. What fascinated you most was how he had his nipples pierced. Shamelessly, Your eyes then trailed down to the potent bulge of his arousal.
He palms himself once he catches you staring.
"You want this?" He teased, a smirk on his face. You look away feeling embarrassed at the position you're in.
"Why are you acting like you didn't just come from my tongue huh?" His fingers unbuttoning his jeans and pulling the zipper down antagonizingly slow.
Your pulse quickened, your breath catching in your throat by the time he finally stepped out of his jeans. His hand wrapped around his own shaft, his touch gentle as he stroked himself. The sight was mesmerizing, your gaze drawn to the rhythmic motion.
It was clear he was doing this to edge you on.
He wanted to hear you beg for him to put it in you.
"Ohhh fuck..." He groaned, running his other hand through his hair as he bucked his hips up to match the pace of his strokes.
It made you whimper.
"Please..." You blurted out the words without realising. He stops to look at you.
"Please what? Did I fuck you dumb now you can't speak properly?" He asks and you let out a shaky sigh at his harsh words, your excitement now growing more between your thighs.
"Please just... fuck me..." You uttered, wondering how you are able to face him after this.
He smiles seeing how shy you were getting...
He enjoyed the effects he was having on you.
"Anything for you..." He says, grabbing by your feet and pulling you down to him that you yelped at his strength.
He chuckles as he lines himself against you.
"I'm gonna be your first— you like that? You like getting fucked by your best friend?" He cooed, having the tip of his shaft circling and caressing your clit.
You shuddered at the delicious friction, another soft whimper escaping from your lips.
"Y-Yes" You moaned.
"Do you let all your friends use you or is it just me?" He whispers as he slowly pushed himself inside you, the thick head of his arousal stretching and filling you with a gentle pressure.
He groans, shoving his face into your shoulder and you couldn't control the erotic moans you were making.
"Answer me whore" He pants, his hands putting your legs over his shoulders to get a better angle.
"Just— you!!"" You sobbed pathetically as you fist the blankets underneath you.
The sensation was overwhelming, his girth and length stretching you in ways you'd never expected you could experience.
"Fucck— you're so tight," He cursed, his voice low and husky with pleasure.
"I'm going to make you feel so good, promise" He murmured.
As he bottomed out, his arousal buried deep within you, he paused, his chest heaving with exertion. The air was thick with tension, the only sound was the ragged breathing of the two of you, lost in the intensity of the moment.
Despite how badly he wanted to have you right now, he needed to make sure you weren't in any pain because that's the least that he wants right now. He leans down to kiss you but this time it's sweeter. You hum happily as you kissed him back.
Your hands were tugging at the wristbands that he still had on his wrists. He smiles looking down at the way you're playing with it.
"Adorable..." He purred, rubbing the side of his face against yours.
Just as he said that, he began moving his hips. His thrusts starting off slow but it was still enough to have you moan out of pleasure. The friction of his shaft rubbing against you made you lose your breath. You were sure you've lost any senses to think straight.
"Take off your bra... I wanna suck on your tits" He breathes out and in a swift movement, you unclasped your bra and threw it away.
Following his command like a puppet.
Without letting a second pass, he dips his head down, latching his mouth onto your perky nipple and sucking hard. You moan and pulled on his hair from how overwhelmed he was making you and your grip made him whimper. He swirls his tongue around the sensitive bud as he starts to pound into you relentlessly.
The obscene sounds of his cock sliding in and out of your dripping pussy mix with your loud moans and his own grunts of pleasure filled the woods.
"Mmm... yeeah— that's it, take my cock" He grunt almost animalistic.
His grip on your hips tightens as he picks up the pace, drilling his thick cock deep inside of you while letting out a guttural groan. At the same time he bites down lightly on your nipple, tugging at it before switching to the other one and giving it the same attention.
Everything was too much.
Too fucking much.
"I'm close...!" You whimpered and he could feel your walls start to flutter around his cock as he continues his relentless pace.
"Yeah? You want me to come inside you?" He cooed, slamming his hips against yours harder and faster.
You nod without hesitation, your brows furrowed from the intensity while your eyes are shut close.
One of his hands slides up your body to roughly grope at your breast, pinching and rolling your nipple between his fingers. You opened your eyes to see his makeup slightly smeared and his necklaces bouncing against his chest but that just made him look even hotter. You moaned when you felt that same pressure building again.
Your panting growing louder and your body twitching the second your orgasm rips through you. Your back arches and you let out a loud, shuddering moan, your whole body trembling beneath him. It felt like all of you were melting that for a second you swore you could see stars.
"Oh shit" He gasps, feeling the way your walls were clenching tightly around his throbbing cock.
With a few more desperate thrusts, he growls out as his cock pulses, shooting thick ropes of hot cum deep inside of your quivering pussy. His body loses strength that he ends up collapsing on top of you, panting heavily as the last of his orgasm subsides.
He hums as he buries his face into your hair. The two of you twitching uncontrollably and trying to catch your breaths.
He laid on top of you a couple of seconds before he pushes himself up, he rubs his nose, sniffing a bit as his eyes looked down to watch himself slowly pull his cock out, some of his cum already dripping out. You sigh at the absence of him inside you and he chuckles at your reaction.
"You did so good for your first time" He laid himself beside you and kissed you lovingly on the cheek.
"That felt... really weird... but in a good way..." You struggled to express yourself since your mind was still reliving what just happened.
He smiles.
"You know that makes us friends with benefits..." He scoots closer to you, engulfing you in his embrace.
"Meaning...?"
"You can call me anytime if you wanna do this again" He brushes your hair out of your sweaty face. You think over his words.
"Anytime?" You repeated and he nods.
There's a feeling that anytime might come sooner.
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Shout out to @wveelr who convinced me to feed in to my addiction
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merakiui · 15 days
Note
Okay that hive mind Riddle this is soo hot. But hear me out, the colony is very important to and in an effort to maintain peace, they rotate who gets to breed you on a schedule. They're 5 of them and that gives you 1-2 days grace period for "me" time. And Riddle is a major hard ass on the schedule.
"No, Ace. You know you have mondays and you should have planned around that."
The schedule is as follows:
Mon- Ace, Tue- Cater, Wed- Deuce, Thurs- Trey, and Fri- Riddle
Because Cater and Trey make a point to clean you up at the beginning and end of their days so that's why
Sorry, Idk why Im soo fixated on how they're set up
These are excellent thoughts aaaaa!!! <3 not only does breeding you on a schedule keep things organized and allows you to slowly but surely adapt to the way the hive works, it also boosts morale for the aliens themselves. Relief sweeps through the rest of the hive seeing their new Queen soft and round with new clutches. Now they won’t have to worry about the dangers of going extinct.
Ace and Deuce, while younger than the other three, are perhaps the easiest to approach. Deuce is friendly and so is Ace (though usually when he wants something from you). For a while, your relationship with Ace is one of transaction. Deuce makes sure you’re always prepared and taken care of before, during, and after breeding. You look forward to the days with him because he treats you so tenderly. He tries to tell you in what limited human speech he can use that that’s how he was brought up. It’s important to treat one’s mate with respect and admiration.
Ace, though childish and seemingly more interested in your body than you, gradually warms up to you. He can’t let Deuce outshine him, so he starts making an effort. He sees how much happier it makes you when he sticks around after breeding you, when he gathers snacks for you, when he talks to you, etc and realizes he’s been a terrible mate so far. Now he’s improving himself and his methods have changed. He genuinely wants a connection with you, even if he slyly skirts around that truth when asked.
Trey and Cater are much more mature than Ace and Deuce. They look after you in their own ways, though no one can beat Trey when it comes to that. He’s a natural caretaker, always putting you before himself, but you think he has ulterior motives for this. Gaining your trust would definitely be one of them. You’re hesitant to open up to Trey because of this. Cater makes it easier but not by a lot, if only because his constant fawning over you feels…superficial sometimes. Even though you realize your appearance in this hive makes you a curiosity for everyone else, it still manages to embarrass you just a little when he smothers you, calling you cute in his native tongue. At the very least, you appreciate how both he and Trey will go out of their ways to ensure your safety on their allotted days.
The dynamic between you and Trey sometimes borders that of a pet. He loves to wash and clean you, and he prepares delicious meals for you. You keep expecting him to put a collar on you next. Cater already has the cute nicknames covered. There’s a very clear divide between you and them. You receive the treatment of a beloved pet, but when it comes to breeding you’re used for your intended purpose: to carry their young. It’ll take time for them to view you as a mate they wish to keep forever and not just a convenient hole to keep their young safe and snug.
And Riddle!!! Riddle is probably the most anxious and high-strung around you. He’s devoted to his schedule, to the rules of the hive, to doing everything in accordance with tradition. Sometimes it feels controlling, but he really only ever has your best interests in mind. He’s so infatuated with you and adores every little aspect about you! From the way your human toes curl in pleasure to the way your human voice wavers with soft gasps and groans to the way you leak salty liquid from your pretty human eyes when something feels good or hurts. It’s all so fascinating. He wants to learn more.
When he isn’t using his days to breed you, he’s spending that time studying you, courting you, enjoying delicious foods with you in what feels like the equivalent of a human tea party. Though he has a temper and can get frustrated, it’s never directed at you. In fact, he’s overwhelmingly gentle when he handles you and surprisingly respectful. Just,,, please forget and forgive that first day he met you, when he’d been so desperate for a Queen he’d dragged you back to the hive and knocked you up with a clutch. >_< it was all purely for survival!
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dandylovesturtles · 10 months
Text
havin' all these Splinter and Leo thoughts. augh.
this is partly the fault of @/turtleblogatlast's post about Leo just wanting to make Splinter proud.
post-movie
...
Seven days post-invasion, and Leo is feeling (relatively) pretty good. Sure, he's still on a truly ridiculous amount of painkillers and he can't walk two steps without collapsing, but he's able to stay awake and talk to his family and considering where he thought he would be right about now, well... that's everything.
So yeah, he's feeling pretty good. He just finished his lunch of soup and a protein shake, warm and a little drowsy while he listens to April talk about some of the more ridiculous conspiracy theories that have started spreading on the surface. Donnie's tinkering with one of his smaller inventions while he listens, Mikey is nestled in Raph's lap, and everything is calm and cozy in their makeshift medbay.
And then his dad walks in and says, "I would like to talk to Blue, please. Alone."
And suddenly Leo doesn't feel so good anymore.
"Aha, wait," he says quickly, reaching out and grabbing April's sleeve just before she rises from her chair. "Whatever it is, you can say it in front of everyone, right?"
Splinter shakes his head. "This is a conversation I think it is best we have in private." He makes a shooing motion at the others, and April pulls her sleeve from Leo's fingers with a helpless shrug.
"See ya in a few, Leo," she says, then walks out. The others look from Splinter, to him, then back to Splinter, and one by one they each get up and shuffle out, too, with their own hasty farewells.
Traitors, every single one of them.
The door closes, and Leo finds himself alone with Splinter for the first time since coming back from Staten Island. Or at least, the first time he can remember. He was pretty out of it the first few days; most of what he remembers is muddled and confused. And embarrassing. He cried a lot more than he'd care to admit.
Splinter hops into chair April was sitting in and pulls it closer; he has to stay standing to be anywhere near eye level with Leo. He wishes he could read Splinter's face, but his expression is giving nothing away. Sometimes it's easy to forget he spent a not-insignificant part of his life as an actor, until something like this happens.
Leo decides to speak before he can. Head him off at the pass, or something.
"If you're going to yell at me, just remember my eardrums are already damaged."
Which is true - turns out being 1, too close to an exploding alien spaceship and 2, getting punched in the head repeatedly by an alien very mad about said exploding spaceship is bad for the ears, even when you don't have outer ears like a human. So super loud noises are a bad idea right now, and thus Leo cannot be yelled at. Flawless logic; maybe he can keep using that every time he gets in trouble.
For the first time, his dad's expression shifts, just a little. A deeper frown, a heavier set to his brow.
"You think I came in here to yell at you?"
Leo feels his stomach twist. Does he have to spell it out? "I mean, didn't you? That's usually what kicking everyone else out is leading up to."
"I see..." Splinter is still unreadable, looking a little too intensely at Leo. "And what do you think I want to yell at you about?"
He really does want it spelled out. Leo suddenly realizes that there won't be any yelling because this is his punishment: to admit everything he's done, to speak all his sins for his dad's ears. Lay it all out in his own tongue and show that he understands, really and truly, the depths of his screwups.
Oh, he understands. He understands it so well he may choke on the words.
"...For losing the key," he says finally, and it stings on its way out. He hasn't talked about it since it happened; every time he tries to say anything to the others, they shush him, saying, "It's okay, Leo, everything is fine now."
It's not okay, and everything isn't fine, and this is when he finally hears about it.
Finally, an identifiable emotion on Splinter's face: horror, dawning clear and present. And Leo doesn't understand that, because doesn't Splinter know he lost the key? He was there for that conversation, wasn't he? Leo's memories of that day have grown a little hazy between the drugs and the recovery and the fact that thinking about it for too long makes him go fuzzy around the edges, but he's pretty sure he remembers Splinter being there. He flicked popcorn at Leo's head. He probably should have done more than that; maybe then Leo wouldn't have made such a mess of things.
Splinter doesn't say anything right away, just stares at Leo with that horrified expression, and the silence is so scary that Leo starts filling it without even thinking.
"I was kidding about the whole... not yelling at me thing. I know I deserve it. I mean, I was fooling around, doing what you and Raph told me not to do, and I doomed the whole world doing it! Some leader I am, right? And I know I'm not exactly your favorite son to begin with, and that's fair, because I keep letting you down, but this is definitely my worst screwup to date, and you yell at me when I don't close the fridge door all the way or throw balls around the TV room so why wouldn't you yell at me for destroying the planet, right...?"
His voice peters out at the end, too hoarse to continue. That's the most words he's strung together over the last week, and for the first time he's glad for his injuries, for stopping him from spewing any more embarrassing word vomit just to fill the air.
Splinter is still looking at him with that same horrified expression. If anything, he just looks more upset, which means that Leo at least accomplished his goal.
Leo's waiting for the yelling to start, but when Splinter finally says something, it's, "You think I have a favorite son?" throwing Leo for a loop once again.
"Uh, yeah?" he says, because that's all there is to say. He's always assumed it's Donnie - the "funny one", the one who fixes Splinter's TV when it's broken, and the only one of them likely to get a real job and move out of the house. But even if it's not Donnie, it's gotta be Mikey, or Raph. His brothers are amazing and talented, and all Leo has ever been good at is winning the Lair Games.
Splinter closes his eyes a moment, and when he opens them his face moves back to a more neutral expression. "I do not have a favorite son," he says, firm and serious. "I love all of you just the same."
Leo thinks that can't be true - if it is, he feels bad for the other guys. But he doesn't think he can just say that, so he says, "Yeah, Dad, of course," instead.
Splinter looks a bit crestfallen. "You don't believe me?" he asks, and shoot. Leo has no idea how to respond to that.
"...I know you love us," is what he says. And that's true, it is! He just doesn't know how his dad could like him as much as the others.
Splinter's expression turns sad. He reaches out and lays a furry hand on Leo's arm, careful of his bandages and all the many wires he's hooked to. "You think you doomed the world?"
"I lost the key," Leo repeats. "It was all my fault. It's why I had to..." His voice fumbles over the words, and he revises. "It's why it had to be me."
Splinter's mouth twists. He climbs out of the chair and onto the mattress, careful not to jostle Leo as he settles down on his knees.
"Blue," he says softly, gently palming Leo's face this time. "None of this was your fault."
Leo's stomach twists again. He thought he was being punished, but somehow this is worse.
"Yes it was," he argues. "I lost the key," for the third time, "and... and I ignored the order to retreat, and got Raph captured, and and and, I ignored the guys and tried to force our way into Metro Tower, and it was me who told Donnie to try to fly that stupid ship, and because of me Mikey had to-"
"Leonardo," says Splinter, sharp, and Leo goes silent. His dad looks devastated, but he keeps his hand on Leo's cheek, brushing with his thumb, and for the first time Leo realizes his skin is wet. Splinter sighs heavily, his entire frame seeming to droop with the weight of it.
"Leonardo," he repeats, softly this time. "You did not doom the world."
"But-"
A furry finger on his lip quiets him.
"You did not doom the world," Splinter repeats, once again firm and serious. "You did not take the theft of the key seriously, because you did not know what it was, the threat it represented. But it was the Foot Clan who chose to use that key, fully knowing what evil it would unleash. That is not on you, my son. The responsibility falls squarely on them."
Leo doesn't know how much he can believe that - isn't it their job to stop the Foot Clan? But Splinter looks so sure as he says it, and his hand is still tender on Leo's cheek, and for the first time a little bit of doubt seeps into Leo's heart, telling him that maybe, just maybe, this wasn't all his fault after all.
But still...
"Even if that's true," he says, with heavy emphasis on the if, "everything I did after that-"
"You are young," his dad interrupts. "You are inexperienced. You are learning. And the amount of growth you showed us all, even over just that one day... You shined as brightly as I know you can."
Again, Leo's stomach does a twist - but it's a happier one, this time. Splinter's voice is sincere, leaving no room for doubt, and Leo can almost, almost believe that this is true, that his dad has believed in him from the very beginning. Has seen something in him, whatever it was that led him to make Leo the leader, that lead to him putting trust in Leo.
He just wishes he felt like he'd done more to earn it.
"You did not doom the world," says his dad again. "You saved it. But, it never should have been like that to begin with. You should never have been facing down such a fierce foe so young, especially as alone as you boys were. And you-"
His voice becomes choked up, and Leo's heart lurches.
"You... sacrificed yourself to save us all. I... I am your father, and I... could not protect you."
He's crying. His dad is crying, and Leo feels panic, reaching out to try and stop this.
"Dad-"
"No." Splinter holds up a hand, giving his head a hard shake. "All I ever wanted for you boys was to save you from the sacrifices asked of our family. And yet I could not - and for that, you paid dearly. You almost paid the ultimate price, and we almost lost you forever."
A thick knot forms in Leo's throat, and he can barely get out, "I'm okay, Dad, I'm here."
"Yes you are." Splinter squeezes his shoulder desperately. "You are here. You are safe. But that doesn't change that it should not have been you to begin with."
Leo watches in dawning horror as Splinter steps back, then kneels over on the mattress.
"This is why I came in here, Blue. Not to yell at you. To apologize."
He presses his forehead against the sheets.
"I am so sorry that I could not protect you."
He's crying. So is Leo, openly now. He reaches out for his dad, fumbling for his shoulders and urging him to straighten up.
"No, Dad... This wasn't your fault!"
"But-"
"No! It was just... it was just a really, really shitty thing that happened, okay? It was the Foot Clan, and the Krang, but it wasn't- it wasn't..."
Splinter raises his face and looks at him, and suddenly the words he's been trying to get Leo to believe for the last several minutes barrel into him and Leo crumbles.
"...I didn't have to do it," he says.
"No." Splinter gets up, coming closer. "You had nothing to atone for. You did it because you are brave, and you are kind, but this was never yours to fix."
Leo sucks in one harsh breath, then another, and then he's sobbing harder than he ever has in his life, and his dad hugs him tight, his arms warm and his fur soft where Leo buries his face in his shoulder.
All the feelings he's pushed aside - the ones he didn't think he had the right to feel, because he'd had to do it, he had to make up for his mistakes - bubble over, gripping him with grief and despair but also relief, that he's still here to cry and be hugged by his dad.
"I was so scared."
"I know."
"I thought I wouldn't see you guys again."
"I know. We thought we had lost you, too."
"I just... I didn't know what else to do... I couldn't let him... I couldn't..."
"Shhh, it's alright. It's over now. We're all safe."
Leo hugs his dad back, as tightly as he can with his injuries, and sobs and sobs until he's all out of tears. And all along, his dad tells him he is safe, he is good, and he is loved.
Later, Leo feels even better than he had before.
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a-boca-do-inferno · 3 months
Text
blueberry (caesar x human!reader)
summary: Man is insecure and, perhaps not so surprisingly, so are apes.
warnings: angst, swearing, fluff
words: 3.6k
notes: can be read as a standalone or a continuation to alone. this is set somewhere between the events of wftpota but he is alive in my heart btw. enjoy x
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“I don’t care”, you sign and huff, glaring at him. You needed to hurt him; like he had hurt you just now. You point to the cave entrance. “Leave.” 
Caesar shoots you a desolated look, standing in the middle of the rain, completely soaked. He can’t speak. Not this time. He’d done it so many times before, repeating the same thing over and over again. I will change. I will stop worrying. I love you. And now you could see the truth: no matter how much he claimed to love you, his sorrows would always be stronger than his feelings and you just had enough. You were a tired woman. And he knew that, too. 
“Okay”, he mumbles at last with a brief sign as he watches his step and backs away. 
He leaves with his head down and disappears into the dark of the night. You’re only left with the sound of heavy drops smashing onto the floor. The ground now felt like opening up under your feet, but it wasn’t always like this. 
Caesar stared at you with widened eyes, not noticing your presence until you spoke up. A smile spread on his face and he shrugged off his worries, his frown fading gradually. “You… lifesaver.” He gesticulated toward the food you carried with a grateful look. It smelled so good and he didn’t hesitate to grab the bowl of soup, sipping on it and letting out a sigh of relief. “Thank you... for everything”, he signed with his free hand after a moment.
“You’re welcome, now what do you want?” You teased and ruffled his head lightly. Caesar had become a good friend over the past few months. It felt like you’ve known each other for a long time, even before the flu. “Or were you just that hungry?”
Caesar snorted, still drinking the soup. “Both… I think.” He swallowed before adding hoarsely, “sometimes I just need… to see you.” It sounded like a lighthearted comment, but he wasn’t smiling because deep down he knew it was true. You made him feel like he never did with anyone, ape or otherwise. He recoiled in his spot, watching you with attentive eyes. 
And you, to your credit, chuckled quietly with pink cheeks, “well, here I am.” You sat in front of him and leaned forward, resting your elbows on your knees. “You know, Caesar, I’ve been thinking… Maybe you should come stay with me for a while.” 
You were well aware of his problem with loneliness ever since he lost Cornelia and couldn’t help but want to take care of him. Being a leader had its perks and many included a deep sense of isolation, especially when the very lives of a whole species depended on him to make it in this world. Humans were still a constant threat, even amidst the downfall of civilization, but you reckoned Caesar felt lonely long before the apocalypse from the few stories he’d tell you about Will. If anything, being surrounded by his own kind only alienated him more overtime due to the burden of the “crown”.
Caesar tensed up, his eyebrows raising at the unexpected offer. He stayed unmoving for a few seconds, however his demeanor eventually changed into one of contemplation. Perhaps it wasn’t such a terrible idea at all. He’d been greatly feeling the change in environment since they moved and doing things alone had always proven to be harder for him, if more familiar. Taking another sip of his soup, his thoughtful gaze traveled the ceiling. 
“Sure… you wanna live… with my drama?” He finally asked, with an almost amused expression.
“We can be dramatic together”, came the quick reply, as you carried a playful tone of your own. “But really, I think it’ll do you some good. It’s not permanent, I just wanna help you get a little more time to adjust while you sort things out with the council.” You grinned softly, “change is always overwhelming and some company might broaden your horizons, maybe even help with your decision.”
Caesar pondered your words, still with a humorous smile. “I could stay… for a while.” He added with some emphasis. 
“It’s settled then, you can move in anytime you want”, you stood up and patted his shoulder. As you noticed there was a hint of uneasiness lingering in his eyes, you hummed, “consider it my formal thanks to you for taking me in. Now we’re even.”
“Then I move in… tonight.”, he tried to play it off with humor, signing with a smirk. “Don’t like my place… anyways.”
In fact, deep down Caesar was glad to get away from there; especially because he was about to face the most challenging phase of leadership: letting go. By the end of the day, he was all settled into your home. He took your bed under your indignant protests that the floor was a “back killer”, in your own words. You had a way of making him sustain a smile for far longer than he was used to—which wasn’t often—and that was the sole reason for his compliance. 
As you were fluffing the makeshift pillows made out of animal skin, he organized his stuff in the small cabinet you made yourself. You were a handy carpenter. A quiet chuckle reached his ears and he shot you a glance. 
“I didn’t take you for the messy type, I thought all leaders were neat.”
Caesar rolled his eyes, closing the cabinet door. “I only clean… other people’s messes”, he signed with a wry smile. He turned around and leaned against the wall to face you properly, his grin fading into a sterner look. “I’m glad… you’re here.”
“And I’m glad you’re here with me, that way I don’t have to worry about your insomniac ass wandering in the cold”, you threw a stick at him, sitting on the bed with a small beam. “I really do worry and care for you, Caesar. I hope you know that.”
Caesar caught the stick with ease and met your gaze with warm eyes once again. He was clearly touched by your words and his shy grin turned into a real one, despite the tiredness on his features. He came over to sit beside you, much closer than before. 
“I know”, he replied huskily, gently caressing the nape of your neck with his thumb. “And I hope you know… I care about you.” You shivered under his touch and your lips reached for his rough palm as you kissed it. His breath hitched at the sensation of your smooth skin and he touched your foreheads, shutting his eyes.
It was now but a distant, bittersweet memory haunting you while you gathered your things and left your tent-like home with him, preparing to move in with Maurice. You had a close bond with the ginger ape due to his calmer nature; sometimes you even assisted in his classes, too, and he knew better than anyone about the shortcomings of your relationship with Caesar. This time was no different and he offered you shelter right away. He had always been supportive of you two, but never judging when you had a falling out with the boss.
Maurice knew better than anyone as Caesar got older, his stubbornness and overprotective nature only got bigger. You left out a humourless laugh, walking into your new home. Man is insecure and perhaps not so surprisingly, so are apes. And with insecurity comes obsession, along with an unhealthy need for control. Yet you always had too much understanding in your heart. Caesar just needed help, you thought, as you would peck his head whilst he slept soundly on your lap. It was so rare to see him that serene, and you cherished every second of it. 
He still had trouble sleeping; nightmares and such. Your heart ached with the ever present reminder that you just couldn’t make all his pain go away forever, no matter how hard you tried. And God, did you try. Rocking a grown chimpanzee’s body to make him go to sleep wasn’t exactly in your plans when he brought you into the colony, but you gladly took the task. You loved the guy, after all. 
And wouldn’t it be stupid to even doubt that? Still, that’s what Caesar did on occasion. He wasn’t easily upset, but when he was... It often got ugly. You were never a fearful girl, but seeing his angry fits deeply affected you. Soon talking to him became a constant walk on eggshells and if he noticed your change in behavior, he never really spoke on it, which was perhaps his biggest flaw; not communicating. But he was a leader, and a perceptive one at that. Even though he never said it out loud, it must have been clear that you couldn’t take it anymore. There was something telling about the way he simply let you go a few hours before, with no fight. 
“Comfortable?” Maurice eyes you carefully, bringing some blueberries with him to cheer you up. 
You can’t help but grin at the sight. “I am. Thank you.” You sign back and nod, taking a deep breath as you gaze around. “Caesar?” You hum, curious of where he might be. You hadn’t seen him since last night’s argument.
The orangutan shakes his head slowly, pointing at the forest, “he hunts… when angry.”
You snort. “Sounds about right.”
Maurice grunts in agreement, signing softly, “you two… end?”
You take a moment to consider his question. It looked like a break up, didn’t it? Although you weren’t sure if apes even used the concept of “breaking up” with their mates. Every couple you knew in the colony seemed happy together. No trouble in paradise. You shrug and look down. “Maybe.”
“Caesar is… difficult”, he rasps, causing you to smile despite yourself. That’s the understatement of the year. The ape adds, “you like blueberries… for a reason. They’re not… always sweet.”
You scoff at the comparison. No wonder Maurice was a great teacher. You sign with amusement, “except I can smash a blueberry if I don’t like it, but with Caesar, I can’t.”
Maurice laughs deeply. “Fair enough.”
As the night fell again, you watched the apes gather around the fire to hang out after another tranquil day from a distance. Since the war, things were slowly returning to normal and you felt a mixture of relief and anxiety every time the thought crossed your mind; growing accustomed to peace those days was dangerous. Hope could be a friend, but also a great enemy in the apocalypse. Caesar had taught you that through your many late night talks after you made love. A light blush came across your cheeks as you sighed and tried to shake off those memories. 
Dating another species was already a challenge on its own, now add being the leader of a colony on top of that, you were surprised you two had made it that far. When Caesar found you all alone hiding in a cave, struggling to survive on your own, never in a million years did you think that creature would become your closest friend and even lover. He didn’t like or didn’t see the point of those nomenclatures, sure, as he only ever referred to you as his family. If other apes outside Maurice and Blue Eyes knew about the implications of it, though, no one dared speak on it. Yet it didn’t make it any easier to digest whenever you stopped to think about it, even more so amidst his angry fits.
You finished preparing for bed and lay down in silence, staring at the stars. Another summer had begun with the difference of Caesar’s absence by your side as you tried to sleep. You took a deep breath and wiped away some stubborn tears, turning to face the wall. You closed your eyes for a brief second and when you opened them again, a large silhouette appeared on the stone surface and you slowly shifted back to find Caesar standing tall, eyeing you silently.
“Talk?” He signs hesitantly, his expression difficult to read in the dark. You only nod and he approaches you, and as he steps in an angle under the moonlight, you see he’s got a deep cut across his abdomen. You immediately sit up, looking alert. He smiles weakly and waves a dismissive hand, taking a seat beside you. “It’s… fine. Not… serious.”
You frown nevertheless, tracing his bruise and inspecting it. “What happened?”
“Bear.” He murmurs hoarsely, with an amused gleam in his green eyes. You grunt in displeasure and he asks with an almost mocking tone, “worry?”
“Of course I do, Caesar.” You huff indignantly and it only makes him smirk, but you keep glaring at him. “You think it’s funny?”
“Yes”, he says, reaching you to take your hand over his furry stomach. He comes closer, bringing his forehead to yours, “I’m… sorry.” You take a deep breath, closing your eyes. You’re not sure what to say, but he fills in the silence with a low sound, “miss… you.”
“You’re a stubborn old man”, you pull away to look him in the eye, albeit your voice stays tender. He looks humoured by your choice of words. “But I missed you too.”
Caesar’s expression softens significatively. He produces another coo, “forgive?”
You smile and bring his hand to your lips, kissing his knuckles. “Maybe.”
“Brought… present.” He rumbles after a moment and you watch him leave in silence, coming back shortly with a bowl full of blueberries. You grin and Caesar hoots quietly, feeding one to you. You blush and accept the gesture, causing him to nuzzle your face gently, “Maurice… advice.”
You roll your eyes. “That turncoat.” 
Caesar only snickers and shrugs, making a face as he tries a blueberry. He signs and pushes the bowl towards you, shaking his head in comic disapproval, “sour.”
It’s your turn to laugh.
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suzukiblu · 3 months
Text
WIP excerpt for qwertynerd97 behind the cut; Billy adopts Conner and it actually goes pretty good! (( chrono || non-chrono ))
If Lynn wants to hug him later, that’ll be really great, but he just–he really doesn’t want to be one of those foster parents who always pushes. Pretends like they’re closer to a kid than they are or like that kid should be grateful for every little thing or give them everything they want or . . . whatever. 
Even if Lynn never wants a hug from him at all, at least then Lynn can know Billy’s not gonna punish him for it. Can feel–safe, knowing that. 
More than anything else, Billy really, really wants Lynn to feel safe with him. 
“Safe” is . . . 
It’s just harder to come by than a lot of people think it is, that’s all. 
Lynn . . . hesitates, again, and looks at the pillow Billy’s holding out of the corner of his eye for a moment, then gingerly wraps his arms around Tawky in awkward imitation of him. Billy beams at him, trying not to be weird about it or anything. Lynn kind of thinks like a teenager, obviously, but also he’s just a baby, so . . . well, it’s kinda hard to be sure how to balance that kind of thing. 
Billy just has to figure it out, though. He can do that. His dad would’ve, so–yeah. 
So he’s gonna do it too. 
“Yeah, like that,” he confirms, and Lynn looks embarrassed and looks away. “Tawky’s nice to hug, right?” 
“. . . sure,” Lynn says, still looking embarrassed. Billy isn’t sure if it’s the “thinking kind of like a teenager” thing or if he’s just feeling awkward about doing a new thing, but figures that’s Lynn’s business anyway. He sneaks a glance at Tawky while Lynn’s still looking at the wall and flashes him an encouraging thumbs up, and Tawky stays contentedly hugged in Lynn’s arms. Billy’s glad Lynn feels comfortable enough to hug him, at least. Sometimes being a stuffed animal is even more useful than being a superhero. 
He wishes he could hug Lynn right now too, but–well, like he said, he’d rather Lynn feel safe with him than anything else. 
The ten minutes is pretty much up by then, so after Lynn and Tawky have gotten in a little more hugging, they all walk to the library together. Lynn looks at the sky a lot and seems a little awkward carrying Tawky, like he’s still not sure what the best way to do it is, but Tawky’s obviously still content to just hang out quietly and people-watch a little on the walk. Billy points out where some stuff is in the neighborhood, and at the library Lynn looks totally overwhelmed, which, well . . . it’s not a very big library, honestly, but it’s still gotta be thousands of books and Lynn’s never been in one at all before, so Billy can��t blame him for it. 
The librarian helps “Rocky Morgan” sign up for a library card, since “Lynn Morgan” doesn’t have paperwork or anything yet and Billy’s not sure how that’d work and doesn’t wanna test it before Batman gives the all-clear, and then they walk through all the sections together one-by-one. Billy figures they can just pick out a book each from each of the main sections, and then there’ll be lots of different stuff for Lynn to try. 
They get a couple big art books and a couple mysteries, a couple romance novels, some sci-fi, fantasy, westerns, thrillers, history and autobiographies, some classics, and a few different picture books, though Billy figures they can skip the hard science stuff and self-help for right now. Though he does find a cool-looking astronomy book, and maybe Lynn’ll like that? He’s not actually an alien, obviously–Billy guesses he’d be more like . . . what, a second-generation immigrant or something?–but space is still cool. They also pick out a couple of cookbooks, because Billy figures it’ll help Lynn decide what to cook and help him remember the recipes without having to ask Lynn what he’s supposed to do every five minutes. 
It’s a lot of books, but they’ve got super-strength and also Billy doesn’t want Lynn to end up stuck reading things he doesn’t like just because there’s nothing else in the apartment; he wants to give him a lot of options to pick from and figure out what he likes from. Lynn’s a baby. He shouldn’t get stuck with just boring stuff to read. 
The library’s old and kind of fancy. Lynn looks out the high wrought-iron windows at the sky while the librarian checks them out, looking . . . confused, a little, or maybe just like he’s thinking. Billy doesn’t really know his expressions well enough to tell either way. The library’s bright, though, and there’s a lot of windows and a lot of places to sit and read with a lot of natural light in them, so if Lynn decides he likes to read, maybe they could come regularly? Like, once a week or every couple weeks, maybe, depending, Billy figures. He’s spent a lot of time in libraries to get out of the rain or cold or snow, personally, and it was . . . nice, sometimes. There was always stuff to read and somewhere to sit and the librarians were usually nice too, as long as he didn’t fall asleep anywhere too public. So–nice, sometimes. 
Nicer than hiding in a doorway or a stairwell or under the slide at the park or in a gazebo or–
Just–it was nicer. And safer. And sometimes he’d look at the archeology books and pretend Mom and Dad were just still on a dig, and they’d be coming to get him soon. Coming to–take him home, soon. 
. . . maybe Lynn could come to the library by himself, if he ever wants some alone time or something.
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loki-cees-all · 10 months
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Hello and hi, my lovely!
I have this scenario for you that I sometimes think about.
How would Loki react if you (the mortal he might have feelings for but he’s not quite certain yet) were the only one to acknowledge his birthday? Maybe you put up a few balloons and even buy him a little cupcake with a candle on it? How would he react?
Happiest of birthdays to you! You’re a joy to know!! I love you!! 🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷
Cupcake For a God {Avengers!Loki x Avengers!Reader}
Cee's Loki Fic Masterlist / AO3 Link
Pairing : Avengers!Loki x Avengers!Reader
Summary : Loki’s birthday is approaching, and it forces himself to reconcile who he wants to be versus who he actually is, and to reflect on his almost certainly unrequited feelings for you.
But what if the feelings weren’t unrequited?
W/c : 1.9k words
Content/Warnings : Angst, a bit of fluff
Author's Note : I swear I tried so hard to make this not so angsty! Please forgive me, Saz! 😭😭😭
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There were a lot of things for Loki to dislike about living on Midgard. 
For starters, he was being forced to live there, inside Stark Tower with the other Avengers as penance for his crimes. It was only fitting, they’d told him, that he should assist in their efforts to keep the mortals safe because he was the reason they needed protecting in the first place.
Loki didn’t bother telling them what Thanos had done to him after he fell from the Bifrost; truthfully, he still didn’t quite understand it himself. That entire year was a blur to him - a painful concoction of lies and manipulations and tears and blood that left him unable to tell the difference between fact and fiction, even almost two years after the torture had began. 
He didn’t want anyone to know how weak he was, about how much he’d lost himself. If they knew how vulnerable he was, they might decide he wasn’t worth the trouble and send him to the dungeons of Asgard instead. 
Another thing he disliked was the forced pleasantries and unnecessary rituals humans had developed with each other, and by extension, him. The humans would smile as they past him by on the street, but it was a falsity every time; the sentiment never reached their eyes, and Loki could smell their fear from several blocks away. 
Loki knew they didn’t actually care how his day was going, that their concern only went as far as making sure he wasn’t on the verge of invading with another alien force under his command. He wasn’t, but honestly, if it meant everyone kept their distance, then he wasn’t going to argue with it. 
It wasn’t fair to say that Loki preferred being alone, but he was certainly used to it, and that was in direct contradiction of the forced socialization he had to endure on Midgard - press conferences, team building exercises (which Loki believed was just an excuse to consume copious amounts of food and drink), training sessions, something called “movie nights”, and missions across the world to dismantle S.H.I.E.L.D.’s various bunkers and bases. 
It was so much talking, and even more listening. So much lying and pretending that everything was fine, that Loki didn’t feel like a caged monster, and that everyone else wasn’t waiting for the littlest thing to completely set him off. 
But Loki was trying as hard as he could to ignore the dull ache that haunted his dreams and every waking moment. He knew he had hurt people, he knew he needed to make up for his grievous transgressions, but he didn’t know how else to make up for it all. So he pressed on, through the discomfort and awkwardness, in the hope that one day everything might become a little easier.
The one bright side to all of this, the one shimmering ray of light amidst the sea of gray, was you. Loki didn’t quite know what to make of his attraction to you - was it real, or was it just your absence of fear in his presence? Had it just been too long since he’d felt the touch of another, or were you actually everything he’d ever wanted?
Loki almost didn’t want to find out, in case it wasn’t real. Because your smile reached your eyes every time you looked at him, and your laughter was like sparks blowing across the embers of a dying fire…but he couldn’t shake the fear that it could just be another trick. 
Perhaps his mind still hadn’t fully recovered from Thanos’ torture. Maybe Thor had put you up to this, as a way of making assimilation easier for him. 
Because why else would you look at him like that? Why would you go out of your way to sit next to him during the team’s movie nights? Why else would you lean towards him on the couch and fall asleep against the shoulder of a villain, of a monster, of a fool? 
It was stupid, and pointless, and illogical, and just like him to irrationally want something he couldn’t ever have. He was a God, and you were a mortal, and it would ultimately end in heartache either way. So while he had the chance, Loki forced himself to remain content and to just linger in the question of what if you could want him too. 
The final thing about Midgard, and the one he despised the most, was the mortal obsession with birthdays. Loki was grateful the Asgardians never paid any attention to such silly and exhausting traditions - which was surprising, considering how much Asgardians loved frivolity. 
So he really shouldn’t have been shocked when Thor discovered, and subsequently fell in love with, the concept of birthdays. His brother immediately requested his mortal companion Jane to perform the necessary calculations to determine the Midgardian equivalent of Thor’s birthdate - and Loki’s as well, which his brother gleefully announced to the entire team and embarrassed him to the deepest pits of his soul. 
A massive celebration was planned for Thor, with enough food and drink to sustain a small country, and on the special night, flashing lights and loud music bathed the massive common room of Stark Tower in merriment and laughter. Everyone was invited, and it would have been rude for Loki to not make an appearance - but it wasn’t because he wanted to admire you in your party dress, although that was a very lovely bonus. 
But as gorgeous as you looked - the longer the party went on, the sadder Loki became. Everyone was talking, smiling, and dancing, congratulating Thor on his many accomplishments and swapping happy stories of all the good times they’d had together. It was painful to witness, to know for a fact that no such party would be happening for himself when his birthday rolled around. 
Loki tried telling himself that he didn’t want it, and that he’d be miserable during it. He tried convincing himself that it would be too loud, and too bawdy, and vain, and that he didn’t need other people’s reassurances that they were happy he was there with them. He told himself he didn’t need it at all, that he was completely fine without it. But it was a lie, so of course it didn’t work. 
As the days approached to Loki’s birthday, he became even more withdrawn than usual. With the exceptions of necessary missions or training, he stopped leaving his room. He was silent during travel on the Quinjet, and refused your invitations to further movie nights, even though the disappointment on your face ripped him apart in ways he’d never experienced before. 
He felt like he deserved to suffer, to collapse in on himself like a dying star because he knew he’d never be worthy of the love and attention his older brother seemed to collect so effortlessly. It wasn’t Thor’s fault; it was just Loki’s lot in life. And the further he receded, the more likely his heartache would be justified, and he couldn’t be surprised if he was already disappointed.
The evening of his birthday was the worst night he’d experienced in a long time, not since the day he let go of the Bifrost. Loki didn’t even come out of his room for dinner that night, choosing instead to feast on pain, and anguish, and regret, and all the feelings he hadn’t ever had the time to process over his thousand years of existence. 
Thor tried several times to lure him out of his room, to no avail. Loki wouldn’t leave - no, he couldn’t leave. He couldn’t bring himself to witness the fact that they’d done nothing special for him, even though he’d be furiously uncomfortable if they did. 
As the hours passed, he tried to distract himself with sleep, and then reading, but neither did the trick. Eventually, he curled up on the window seat of his private quarters, wrapped himself in furs and pressed his forehead against the glass, watching the tiny little mortals going about their nights in blissful ignorance of the god suffering fifty floors above them. 
And Loki was so lost that he could barely respond to the cautious knock on his door, the one that threatened to pull him away from his misery. But his heart leapt in his throat when he heard your voice calling his name, and he wanted so much to let you in, to feel you next to him. 
But the urge to say something cruel, to push you away and continue on alone, was just as strong. Loki didn’t know which to concede to, even as his feet slowly carried him to the door. He didn’t know what he was going to say, even while his fingers raked through his messy curls and rubbed the pain from his eyes. 
He felt ridiculous as he hesitated to open the door; he was a God, and once the most fearsome villain this entire planet had ever seen - but here he was, nervous and split open and too raw to simply open a door and look upon a beautiful woman while he was hiding away from his birthday. 
There was a soft rustling sound on the other side of the door, and Loki’s forehead rested against the wood as he heard your footsteps quietly retreating down the hallway. He’d waited too long, paralyzed by his self-indulgent indecision, and it had pushed you away. 
He thought about yanking the door open and calling after you. He considered begging for you to come back. He desperately wanted to wrap his arms around you and to pull you closer, but all he could manage was to gently pull the door open after he was sure you were gone. 
On the floor of the hallway, waiting patiently and comfortably for him, was a beautifully-decorated cupcake and a note resting on a small paper plate. A single candle rose out of the emerald and sapphire swirls of frosting, and the pink paper was folded in half, with his name written in the loveliest cursive on the outside. 
Loki fought back tears as he retrieved the gift from the floor, and he cautiously balanced the plate in one hand while holding the note in the other. 
Hey Loki,
I know birthdays are hard; they’re hard for me too. But hopefully this treat makes you smile, even just for a second. 
I’ll be awake for a little while longer - stop by my room if you need to talk. I promise I won’t find it weird :) 
XOXO
P.S. I’m really glad you’re here, even if you’re not ready to accept that yet. 
He swallowed hard as he stared at the most generous gift he’d ever received. He didn’t know if you even fully understood what you’d just done for him. He fervently wanted to go after you, and he desperately wanted to continue hiding. 
But you’d extended an invitation, one he could feasibly take you up on. No one would argue it wasn’t in his right to do so. And Gods above, he wanted to, more than anything else he’d ever wanted. But would it be worth it, or would it just make everything worse? 
Loki tore his damp and heavy eyes away from the note and glanced up and down the hallway. He shut his door, just as quietly as he’d opened it, wondering if it would be a mistake to allow his heart guide him to where he’d rather be. 
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