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Dal Pre-training all'Expert Iteration: Il Percorso verso la Riproduzione di OpenAI Five
Il Reinforcement Learning (RL) rappresenta un approccio distintivo nel panorama del machine learning, basato sull’interazione continua tra un agente e il suo ambiente. In RL, l’agente apprende attraverso un ciclo di azioni e ricompense, con l’obiettivo di massimizzare il guadagno cumulativo a lungo termine. Questa strategia lo differenzia dagli approcci tradizionali come l’apprendimento…
#ai#AI-development#AI-research#artificial-intelligence#beam-search#computational-resources#deep-learning#expert-iteration#fine-tuning#machine-learning#MCTS#open-source-AI#OpenAI-Five#policy-initialization#PPO#pre-training#reinforcement-learning#reward-design#sequential-revisions#supervised-learning
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Love and Obsession: The Tim Drake Way
part 2
Everyone in the Batfamily knows Tim Drake has… issues with boundaries. They’ve spent years trying to teach him what’s appropriate and what’s—well—deeply unsettling and completely invasive. To be fair, he’s learned. Mostly. He doesn’t stalk his family anymore (much), and he no longer pulls up files on every single person they talk to (okay, maybe just sometimes). But it’s progress.
But then Tim starts dating Danny Fenton. And, oh boy, a few screws come loose.
It starts small, as always. Just little things. Tim’s a detective, after all—background checks are second nature. Danny’s living in Gotham, and Gotham isn’t safe. So, really, what’s the harm in knowing a little more about Danny’s friends? And his professors? And maybe also his classmates? It’s just standard protocol. Okay?
“Tim, you’ve run a full dossier on my entire biology class?” Danny asks one day, laughing as he flips through a file on the coffee table. Tim shrugs. “What if one of them is dangerous?” “Pretty sure the most dangerous thing in that class is the midterm.”
Danny doesn’t think much of it. He’s a little flattered, even. Tim’s protective. It’s sweet.
But Tim’s mind doesn’t stop there. Danny’s too handsome. Too charming. What if someone tries to hurt him? What if someone tries to take him away? It’s not obsessive—it’s just concern. So, a tracker on Danny’s phone? Necessary. Cameras in his apartment? Standard. Monitoring his sleeping patterns and hangout spots? Logical.
Tim tells himself it’s love. And maybe a little insecurity.
“You have a tracker on his phone?” Dick asks, trying not to sound alarmed. Tim nods, like it’s the most normal thing in the world. “Of course. What if something happens to him?” “And the cameras?” “Safety.” “The background checks on his professors?” “Gotham U isn’t exactly known for its stellar staff, Dick.”
It doesn’t stop there. Tim knows everything. Danny’s eating habits, his favorite places to go when he’s stressed, his childhood allergies. Tim’s mapped out Danny’s entire life. He knows about Danny’s ghost powers too—of course he does. He’s Tim Drake. The moment he realized Danny was Phantom, it just… clicked.
Danny being half-ghost? That’s just one more reason to worry. Tim’s up late at night, watching for any signs of ectoplasmic interference. He tracks the energy spikes. He monitors Danny’s fights.
He doesn’t think Danny knows. He’s terrified of what will happen if he finds out.
But then he does.
One evening, Danny walks into Tim’s apartment and casually drops a folder on the table. Tim’s heart stops.
“What’s this?” Danny asks, raising an eyebrow. Tim swallows hard. “I… it’s just…” “You’ve been tracking me?” Danny opens the file, glancing through pages of surveillance reports, background checks, even analysis of his ectoplasmic energy. Tim feels like his world is about to shatter.
“I… I can explain,” Tim says, his voice tight. “I’m just… worried about you. You’re in danger all the time, and I—” Danny walks over, cupping Tim’s face in his hands. Tim braces for the worst.
But Danny just smiles. “Can I put a tracker on you too?”
Tim blinks. “What?” Danny kisses his cheek. “If you’re watching my back, it’s only fair I watch yours. I need to make sure you’re safe too.”
Tim stares at him, speechless. Danny doesn’t look scared. Or angry. He looks… fond. Like Tim’s obsessive tendencies aren’t a problem at all.
“I’ve never had someone care about me this much,” Danny says softly. “I trust you with my life, Tim. This? This just proves how serious you are.”
Tim thinks he’s just fallen deeper in love.
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The Batfamily? They’re worried.
Jason corners Tim in the cave. “Okay, so let me get this straight. You’ve got cameras in his apartment. You’ve mapped out his entire life. You’ve got a tracker on him and a heartbeat monitor. And he’s… fine with it?” Tim nods, a dreamy smile on his face. “Yeah. He even wants to put a tracker on me.” “That’s not… healthy, Tim,” Dick says carefully. “That’s—” “It’s mutual,” Tim interrupts. “We’re protecting each other.”
Bruce pinches the bridge of his nose. “Tim, this isn’t how relationships are supposed to work.” Tim shrugs. “It’s how ours works.”
Damian watches the whole thing with narrowed eyes. “This is deeply unsettling,” he mutters.
They try to talk to Danny. Intervention style. They invite him over, sit him down, and gently (or not so gently) try to explain that Tim’s behavior isn’t normal.
Danny just laughs. “You guys do know I’m half-ghost, right?” “That doesn’t mean—” Dick starts. “I spent my entire life being hunted by ghost hunters. I’ve had worse invasions of privacy.” Danny smiles. “Tim cares. He keeps me safe. That’s all I need.”
The bats don't quite know what to say.
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Tim and Danny, two slightly unhinged souls who think mutual surveillance is the ultimate act of love.
The bats? They’re just trying to keep up.
(“At least they’re happy?” Barbara offers weakly. Bruce sighs. “For now.”)
Gotham’s version of love was never going to be normal. But this? This is a whole new level.
#tim drake#danny phantom#danny fenton#brain dead#dead tired#dc x dp#batfam#tim drake is a stalker#we've completely watered down tim's stalking tendencies into /just/ stalking when he also learned everything there was to learn about batma#this guy is literally obsessed with knowing everything about everyone(even if it's to have the upper hand) and we completely disregard it#give me an invasive tim drake who doesn't know the first thing about boundaries bcs he's so used to researching everything about someone#before meeting them#also give me a danny fenton who has never truly felt safe or protected with anyone especially after he died in his own parents lab#while his friends watched with no supervision or lab precautions#tim learning everything about him for his own safety and protective(obsessive) tendencies makes him feel safe with tim#bcs it proves to him that tim is always watching his every step to make sure he's safe no matter where in the world either of them are#tim is always watching out for him#and if that isn't the most romantic thing someone could do for him then romance is dead#the bats are very concerned for them#tim and danny match each other's freak
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This came to me in a vision
#tadc#the amazing digital circus#tadc pomni#tadc caine#caine#pomni#showtime#caine x pomni#pomni x caine#tadc showtime#showtime ship#tadc fanart#tadc comic#Animation takes forever; have this thing in the meantime#Sometimes. I need them to be soft. It heals the soul#Supervised Machine Learning#sort of#long post#my art
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a child that learns from observation
#hes bejnf raised in a jungle with no proper adult supervision#while actively learning to fight and hunt#he’s gonna pick up some feral tactics#he also needs to learn how to listen#one piece#portgas d. ace#sabo#monkey d. luffy#asl brothers#babylu au#soul’s sketch
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literally please give Battison a Dick Grayson in the Batman Part II.
The first movie was about Bruce's journey from not wanting to be Bruce Wayne, to realizing that he does in fact need to be Bruce Wayne, and that Bruce Wayne can be a force used for good just like Batman. Logically then, the second movie should explore the next immediate question on the table: okay, he needs to be Bruce Wayne. So who is Bruce Wayne? What kind of man is Bruce Wayne going to be? Bruce still feels defined by his trauma of his parent's death. Bruce Wayne still feels defined by his parents' shadows, by his father's legacy. He still feels defined by his grief. How does he make Bruce Wayne be something different?
Dick Grayson would serve as the PERFECT device for Bruce to discover who he can be. Because Dick Grayson is literally just a young Bruce, and Bruce sees that instantly (it's why he takes him in in the first place). So throughout the movie, as Bruce tries to help Dick process his grief, he's inadvertently processing his OWN grief. Dick Grayson unknowingly helps Bruce process his own trauma, and through their developing relationship shows him that Bruce Wayne can be more than a recluse, a failure, a man drowning in his own head- he can be a protector, a friend, a parent.
When Dick points a gun at Tony Zucco's head, Bruce talks him down, and all the words that he gives him are words he had wanted when he was a kid and his grief was fresh. Even though they're gone, you're not alone. I understand.
BATTISON NEEDS DICK GRAYSON TO BE ABLE TO TAKE THE NEXT STEP OF HIS CHARACTER GROWTH.
#robert pattison plays grieved and traumatized and miserable and intense and earnest so well.#you CANNOT tell me that he wouldn't absolutely slay the “talking dick down from killing zucco” scene#it'd be like the hospital scene with alfred but times a million#he'd play the perfect reaction to the grayson's deaths too#sprinting to dick and bodily trying to get him to turn away and not look#holding him tightly as dick dissolves into hysterics#the wet cat man steps up and learns how to take care of someone#and learning how to take care of someone else teaches him at the same time how to take care of himself#bruce's functionality and mental health improves when he takes in this kid#making sure that dick is eating enough leads to him starting to eat more#(partly bc alfred gently guilts him into it by saying he needs to set a good example for his ward)#supervising dick's sleeping habits puts a new perspective on his own sleeping habits#and he's like huh maybe I SHOULD get those five hours of sleep if I want to keep up with dick's energy tomorrow#and ofc when dick has nightmares and comes to find him he inevitably falls asleep on top of bruce#so he has to skip to patrol that night#dc#dc comics#dick grayson#batfam#batman#nightwing#batfamily#bruce wayne#dc robin#robin dc#batman and robin#the batman#the batman 2022#battison
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A double entry
For mermay and SMALL❤️🥰
Just a BBy
No mature swim bladder or sense of direction yet
Just floating
@year-of-the-echidna small💕💕🥰
#knuckles the echidna#merknux#mama supervising nearby no worries#equivalent of BBy bird learning to fly#just a guppy🐠#he frustration#lil fryknux#lil Knux#pugglefry
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Hello, I saw your all for you AU and I was wondering how smart tails is gonna be in the AU? Does sonic have nuclear bomb blueprints made of crayon on the fridge?
Something like that, but more like planes that can shoot missiles(he's obbessed with air crafts). As for his level of smarts - Tails is very gifted with growing intelligence. He may not know everything now but he's got a curious mind that is ready to learn anything and everything. He's still very young so he doesn't have the exact smarts as modern Tails does, but still more than any 4 year old should. He's also smart enough that when he is tagging a long with Sonic to a tutoring session, the young fox will grasp the topic faster than Sonic
Oh and he can talk in complete sentences, with the occasional pronunciation struggle, but he could read like 4-5th grade level(he still prefers to be read to though).
He is still a toddler and believes in Santa and the tooth fairy, so kinda maybe imagine boss baby but replace the seriousness businessmen with a more toddler like inventor genius.
I hope that answers ur question and even gives ya more info on him!
#fred answers#i rlly hope this makes sense#he also learns from the Internet#he has restricted and supervised internet access dont worry#all for you au
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flying lessons
#pokemon#mewtwo#babytwo#espurr#pokemon fanart#my art#MCV3#minerva tag#baby learns how to levitate. with supervision#chrono
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I honestly will throw up all my dinner if we really will get Aishin on-screen interaction(s) today /pos
#bleach anime#bleach tybw#bleach#aishin#I will be so fucking surprised if we even get one rather than none#considering the same dude that forgot vizards have hollow power and remembered too late to include it is supervising the anime#and keeping them being a fucking useless fodder loser despite he could have choose to rework how to battle the bankai-stealing of quincies#what's the chance that fucking Kubo even remember he made aizen and shinji being so homoerotic toxic bitter exes energy from the last arcs#doomposting and pessimistic cause it's better than having a too high hope. learning from cour 2
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your art makes me explode in a positive way like
im chewing and swallowing it in an aggressive way like
it's just SO good im melting ilove your shading and KEHEKEBEKJDJF
anwayshi hello do you happen to have any headcanons for showtime rolls on the floor and dies
Thank you so much, really appreciate it!
Oh God I don't know if this will read as coherent because my thoughts about Showtime are all over the place. But I'll try to format this the best I can
✨Showtime HCs! ✨
Their relationship starts when they start spending time together.
(The reason why they do so could vary. In Supervised Machine Learning's case, Pomni becomes something of a "tutor" to Caine; They discover that they work well together, and the other's company can be quite pleasant!).
So Pomni and Caine build a weird, but comforting friendship, and all is well.
Then the feelings appear.
Caine is the first to realize he fell in love.
It sounds illogical but hear me out… it'd be really funny--
Ok no seriously I think Caine can actually feel. Keyword "can". He's very much still a machine and it shows in the pilot. But like his inspiration (AM), Caine is also a rogue AI. Whatever his programming originally intended him to do, he probably doesn't follow it as closely now as back when he was created (which is a whole other post).
Caine knows what love is and the extend it can go, since the Moon is so open about her feelings. He just doesn't like the Moon back specifically haha (sorry Moon) :}
All this to say, I do believe this is within the realm of possibility for him. (Not that it's ever gonna happen towards anyone in the show. These are just wishful shippy thoughts).
He might not recognize it as love at first, because it manifests in such a different way from his one reference point.
His friendship with Pomni had gone through phases.
When they first met, he continuously touched her with no concern for how she felt.
Learning from and about Pomni herself led him to come to respect her boundaries (and becoming mindful of everyone else's).
Then they're close friends, and gradually, Pomni does not mind his regular wacky, touchy-feely self. So Caine acts as he had always done before.
Caine expresses his love for Pomni with physical gestures and his undivided attention.
When they teleport to travel to other places, he holds her close so she doesn't get too dizzy; he pats her head to reassure her; he touches her arm to get her attention; he grabs her hands when he's excited about her ideas; he holds eye contact for prolonged periods of time; and he touches, and touches, and touches, and touches.
It's selfish, and so he keeps it buried in his deepest 0's and 1's. But he'd like to keep hanging out with Pomni, having her in his sight, and feel the texture of her gloved hands until the end of time.
Despite all this, to him, virtually nothing changed.
What? He's spending time with Pomni as he'd always been doing, and behaving as he'd always behaved!
It's Bubble of all people that has to point out that, "Hey boss. I think you WANT her!"
Absurd. Nonsense. Preposterous! It is merely a relationship of mutual support and affection between a ringmaster and his trusted, former-human companion. Nothing more.
(Declaring his love to her unprompted didn't ever cross his mind, so there's no way it could be that. Is there?)
Caine finds out that yes, there is.
Pomni had always been a nervous wreck, but her mind state becomes more manageable over time. She eventually adjusts to the circus life like everyone else did.
"Accepting" her fate is a different story. The will to escape, to remember, never really leaves. She's just more careful about it.
So when she starts working with Caine - to improve life so people don't go abstracting anymore, and hopefully find a definitive exit - she's not expecting to end up liking her time with him.
Not that she'd absolutely hate it, either. He's… "okay"… Just-- outlandish, loud, he keeps invading her personal space, he keeps touching her, and it makes her die a little every time.
If he's up to listening, though… it can't be that bad, right?
Turns out that no, it wasn't that bad.
Yes, he is outlandish, loud, he keeps invading her personal space and touching her. But she explains what she means to him, clearly and patiently, and he makes an effort to do better. An actual effort.
Sometimes he'd misinterpret what she meant - the ambiguity of human language - and the new games would go horribly. But little by little, his efforts make life overall better. Something reminiscent of actual, real life, the one they've all forcibly left behind.
And he tries, and he tries, and Pomni finds herself enjoying the process as much as the good results.
Pomni likes Caine's eagerness to learn. His enthusiastic attitude borders on silly, and the absurdity makes her laugh on occasion. When faced with the prospect of a "real" exit, she loves his upbeat optimism.
When she's not hanging out with Ragatha, Jax, Gangle, Zooble and Kinger, she begins to enjoy spending quality time with Caine.
Each one of their hang outs is a new surprise. They make a picnic in the tallest mountain exactly in between day and night. They learn to dance - while floating in the air. "Since you asked, here's a DIGITAL camera! Let's take pictures of the Void for one tenth of a second at a time!"
Sometimes he just comes by Pomni's room, and they end up losing track of time. Just chatting about how things have been, what they could be, and what to do next. Ideas and ideas and ideas.
Before Pomni knows it, she's comfortable enough that recalling his old habits makes her not dread them anymore. So when Caine stands close and lightly touches her arm due to oversight, she makes sure he knows it's all right.
And they keep spending time together, and he touches, and touches, and touches her. Pomni, in turn, feels lighter, and lighter, and lighter. Peaceful, at ease. Dare she say, happy, even.
Life is not perfect. As it stands though, it's good enough. No one has abstracted. No one is at risk of abstracting so far.
Progress is slow, but the research for an exit continues, and she is hopeful. The thought of actually leaving grows closer to reality. But a part of her feels heavy.
When it occurs to Pomni that leaving the Amazing Digital Circus means leaving Caine behind, she is alarmed by how much she'll miss him.
It'll hurt. Badly. So much the thought pains her even now.
The moment Pomni realizes this, she comes to the unexpected conclusion that she may like Caine a little more than she thought she would.
This later leads to an interesting discussion with Ragatha.
By the time Pomni comes to that conclusion, Caine is already down bad.
Neither has any idea that the other is in love with them.
Cue dumbasses trying to deal with their feelings while the potential conflict the escape brings looms over their heads.
Thanks for coming to my TED talk!
#showtime#tadc showtime#caine x pomni#pomni x caine#showtime ship#cherpiet#Really appreciate how their dynamic can blur the line of friendship/romance so easily#Supervised Machine Learning is just. *gestures at all that*. minus the romance#Also sorry for taking so long to answer the ask I am not good at answering asks#I don't always know what to say#I wish I had what gooseworx has. She is a big insp#long post
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I think possibly the funniest thing about that one really negative pjo show subreddit I found while still in my defending the show arc is that they seemingly had no idea how animation works over there.
As someone who does know quite a bit about animation, they seem to regard it as a sort of...Magic band-aid? Like the animation itself will fix any and all problems when really, it would not do any of the things they want (except maybe allow for more book accurate designs. But if that's where the shoe is pinching, maybe read the graphic novels?)
Like cost effective? No. Animation is pretty famously expensive unless you refuse to pay your workers fairly. And uuuh. I'd rather they didn't do that, thanks. Also Disney has actively downsized their animation department in recent years, I hardly think they'd be into the idea regardless of what it'd cost them.
Simplifying complex concepts? Absolutely not (Drawing ≠ Simple, thank you) ((someone mentioned Arcane as an example of animation done "right", as proof that PJO could be animated. Nothing about Arcane was simple🥀))
Take into account characters ageing? (Would still mean recasting unless you want a grown man to play Percy and so on. Unless they mean the gods, which is actually where live-action gets fun because for once we don't have to fear recasting, because it's already explained in the text that gods can do whatever they want, so if they change it's just part of canon)
Creative freedom? Oh, now you want creative freedom????? Pick a lane, people.
No required age, actors, settings? Do you think casting and background design, props, character design etc. for animation just appears out of thin air? It's the same. It's the same. It's just animated. You still need all those things. You know that, right? It's important to me that you know that.
Let's be so fucking for real. If the show was, in fact, animated, the same complaints would exist but in slightly to the left of the complaints that exist now.
"That style isn't PJO it should've been like (fill in the very personal, biased, and subjective preference)"
"Why did they animate the magic/gods/casino/water etc etc etc like that?"
"Annabeth does not look like that what were they thinking?"
You know what I mean?
#Ultimately people would've been mad anyway#and the other dumb complaints I can let go of#because they're genuinely too stupid for me to even form an opinion on besides laughing uncomfortably and moving on#but that one is a favorite on that subreddit#and it pisses me off#like no#that's not how that works#at ALL#and the second funniest thing is that every so often someone on there will actually perfectly get something right#but miss the point at the same time#like they'll say something like 'Its so bad that Rick thinks because he wrote the books and agreed to make the show and supervised it#and helped cast it that he can just do whatever he wants. Like what-just because its your brain baby you get to decide how its depicted?'#like#yeah?#actually I think that's exactly what he thinks lmao#and he's right#and now there's leaks over there and people are like#'I knew it! they learned nothing and will continue to RUIN the show with their ARTISTIC LIBERTY'#lmao#'guys at some point maybe we have to accept that the show is just not the books but an entirely rewritten version' HELLO! YOU'RE UP!#and then they refuse to do that#even though it would make them happier#like no one is holding a gun to your head and clockwork orangeing you to watch the show#you know#in MY day#when we didn't like something that was part of our fandom's canon we just wrote fix it fics and script-doctors#or ignored it if we didn't have the time
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Sweet Heart Bakery and Clothing store
#rune factory 5#rune factory#rf5 beatrice#rf5 randolph#rf5 yuki#aashi doodles#i put bea in the bakery cuz she's learning the art of making sweet pastries for her event#plus randolph promised she would always be safe under his supervision which is why rei doesn't hang around while she's there#he TRIED#but randolph kicked him out cuz he was in the way#also randolph is pro go live your life when ur young he doesnt like rei being on duty nonstop#so rei has time to go on these monster hunts#which is still work so he feels less guilty having extra income to provide bea#but these monster hunts are with ares so they're deffo doing a bunch of goofing around and being dorks while they're out too#gotta love all this exposition im doing in the tags instead of actually making the skit ;)))
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A photo of my cat Daisy learning to get along with her new roommate! :3 She's been doing well lately, they even played tag yesterday taking turns chasing each other across the living room playfully! ^w^ Proud of her!
#the first time she ever ran into another cat she smacked it in the face so after that i did my best to try to socialize her a little with#the neighbors outdoor cats (since i knew they were fully vaccinated and everything) and back then she quickly learned that#its nice to just lay and chill together with other cats. but she felt pretty different trying it in her own home rather than outside (i#would take her on walks on her harness and supervise heavily while she and the neighbors cat hung out). but finally shes getting the hang of#socializing! im sooooo happy for her. shes very loving and playful towards people and i really hope she learns to be friends with the other#cats. i think shell have a lot of fun playing with the younger one and having zoomies together lol.#sorenhoots#daisycat
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I'd love to see more Reigen and Ritsu interactions in fics. Ritsu is such an angsty edgy 13 year old and it's hilarious how he just does not like this sweaty salt toting conman. I need to see them work on cases together, maybe Ritsu tagging along with or filling in for Shigeo, and the two have to bond and play nice to function and get things done. Even better if there's some whump involved and they come out of it not exactly being super friendly around each other but now knowing they care about each other. There's not as much bite behind Ritsu's jabs and Reigen's a bit more open to reaching out to help the kid out when needed.
#mp100#reigen arataka#kageyama ritsu#phantom bunnies#ritsu not exactly *hating* reigen but doesn't exactly *like* him his distain is so funny to me#give them an adventure where reigens big brother/dad/weird uncle instincts come out#and it turns out that isnt reserved for just shigeo#it extends to ritsu too#give them a family bonding trip where they learn to better tolerate each other#shigeo also being there to supervise optional#i just think their dynamic is fun and itd be nice to see it develop#also ageswap version is so fucking funny ritsu having beef with a child (tho the underlying reasons do be delicious for angst)
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"We can get through this by working together, reach out to your friends, community is all we have, a social network will be your security in the world, now is the time to lean on others!"
I do agree, and it's scientifically sound (pretty sure there is data about how people with better social networks live longer and etc) but also....augh..... what about the severe social issues, difficulty to leave the house, physical issues which lead to like zero socialization energy a majority of the time, etc. etc. Social support can be a replacement for structural support, but.. I guess I just wish it didn't have to be. Community is extremely difficult to build, even moreso if you're someone who has issues with social cues or group conversations or even just being around others in the first place. And blah, nuance, of course I'm just complaining or maybe being too negative or maybe misunderstanding, but, I hardly have the energy to brush my hair once every 2 months.. how am I supposed to maintain a wide social network and be active in a Community and Join Groups lol... sometimes it kind of feels like "er.. well if thats my only option then...... ruh roh". It's overwhelming
#Kind of like some post I saw a long time ago talking about how even the meanest shittiest most difficult to get along with#elderly people or whaever still deserve to have some sort of systems in place to support them so they're not just relying on the#grace of relatives or etc. who may not be able to deal with them. Not saying that I'm like mean and cruel or anything#but the fact of the matter is in most social situations either I am compromising or the other person is. Not in like an ~`ouuu im so weirdd#nobody willever understand my quirky swagg hee heee~' way but like a.. Just factually the things that make me happy and comfortable#are often incompatible with people. The way I communicate and process things is different from the way other people do and that#is always a barrier. I cannot have ''easy''' interactions. Even with 'understanding' people there is nearly always a significant#amount of effort. You can't walk into a group of people and then be like ''okay you guys all have to wear#masks and you also cant play music too loud and also we should communicate turns of speaking very clearly so group conversations#arent too stressful. and also i need this and that and we have to do this and that and '' etc. etc. You CAN. And some people will#go along with that. but they will ALWAYS secretly resent you for it. You will be the one person they're relieved to not have to be around.#theyre glad when you dont show up since they can go back to doing things however they want and not masking and all these boring#annoying things. OR you can say none of that and just deal with the loud music and the talking and the unmasked people. but then#YOU'RE compromising. and no matter how nice they are it's exhausting to be around and youre just further alienated#while in the presence of people and uncofmrtoabel the whole time.#Which I'm not saying the only form of community is a group setting specificially but just giving that as an example lol#I just wish there were a better option than ''well learn to socialize normally or just suffer then'' . Which I know is not what people are#saying. I guess I just always feel a bit scared when 'community is the answer'. Since its not like 'oh im just socially anxious and need to#get out of my shell~!' or something thats really that remedy-able. It's like.. my mostly unchangeable physical health issues combined#with the mostly unchangable literal way that my brain processes sensory informationand other things means that interacting with#others in a normal and easy way is incredibly difficult and often exhausting especially to maintain in any longform fashion. So then#when it's like ''the answer to staying safe is to maintain longform social connections!! :3 just reach out!!'' then.. ermm... O_O#also I'm not even one of the cutesy shy emotional hermits that's nervous. I'm the Bad Stereotype emotionless robotic cold seeming#looms in the corner of the room type of thing so people have less pity on you in that way. -_- ANYWAY gghj#I need like.. a designated social representative or something.. When I did work in that bookshop forever ago they gave me a#person who basically was just with me to help communicate with others on my behalf and supervise me and stuff. I need that.. Some#more extraverted person I can latch onto and they can maintain the Social Support Network for me and I can just be their +1 to all#of the Social Things and community. I have helpful skills I can contribute to other people and stuff it's just like.. I cant socialize lol#I cook food or something for you.. then you keep me in contact with Community.. a deal. (but then what about when I'm too sick to#contribute? as is often the case. there's not much place for people like me in communities sometimes i fear.. sigh.) ***
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I'm the reason why my kids' internet access will be supervised
#sorry for being like this#girlblogging#coquette#lana del rey#lana del ray aka lizzy grant#tumblr girls#dollette#ahs fandom#tate and violet#ahs murder house#evan peters#parenthood#paradise#parenting#children#child#household#helping#supervisor#supervision#supervised learning#supervised internet access#internet#the internet#internet safety#privacy#search#girls just want to have fun#gaslight gatekeep girlboss#girl things
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