#survivor: non binary

[deservedgrace]

cult jokes are a symptom of and contribute to the simultaneous sensationalizing of cults (cults are all dark cloaks and animal sacrifices and devil worship and group suicide and despicable/unhinged beliefs) and diminishing of cults ("uwu come join my CULT XD we're gonna make cookies and WORSHIP SATAN teehee"), but i'm realizing how they go so hand-in-hand with the mindset of "only ~stupid/evil/crazy/etc.~ people could possibly join a cult. if it were me i would simply not fall for cult propaganda."

the diminishing part means that people don't take you seriously if you say you're an ex cult member or talk about your experiences in a cult or believe you are a current victim of a cult, because cults are just silly little groups that have weird beliefs but are otherwise innocuous. the sensationalizing part means people will also not take you seriously because if it was Actually a cult cult, that does harm and has evil beliefs, you should've known better because any reasonable person would have seen through it. the other side of "only an [xyz] person joins a cult" is "i am not an [xyz] person so i will never join a cult or be victim to propaganda and other cult tactics." the other side of "if it were me i would simply not fall for propaganda" is "someone falling for propaganda is fully a choice and a personal failing on their part." and combined they make: if you were [xyz] enough to join a cult and fall for propaganda, that means you deserved it.

people who would never make jokes about any other kind of abuse but feel perfectly fine making cult jokes used to kind of baffle me, because why is joking about personal abuse a problem but large-scale/group abuse is fine? why is it suddenly funny when you're the one that wants to perpetuate the abuse? but if your belief around cults is: "your experience wasn't that bad [diminishing], and if it was that bad [sensationalizing] it was your own fault and personal failing [i would simply not fall for propaganda], which means you deserved what you went through [only stupid/evil/crazy/etc people join cults]" and you don't understand how cults or cult tactics work, cult survivors/victims probably feel like a fair target for jokes (they are not, to be clear).

[aventurineswife]

Hi! Aventurine x Reader when the reader is non-binary/not cis and Aventurine is supportive or welcoming of it :)

“Risk it all, for a chance at a life worth living”

Summary: Aventurine is faced with an unexpected confession from you: you are non-binary. Far from being taken aback, Aventurine shows unwavering support, understanding, and warmth, reminding you that you don’t need to fit into any predefined mold. As the two of you converse, Aventurine’s charm, wit, and openness create a safe space for you, and a subtle but powerful connection begins to blossom. Together, you face the complexities of identity and belonging, navigating life’s risks with trust and mutual respect.

Tags: Aventurine x NB!Reader, Non-binary representation, Supportive Aventurine, Fluff, Emotional vulnerability, Comfort, Mentions of survivor's guilt, Slow burn.

Warnings: Brief mention of past trauma (survivor's guilt, slavery), Sensitive topics regarding identity and self-acceptance.

The gentle hum of the night played a soft melody through the dimly lit room, the amber glow of a few scattered lamps casting long shadows along the walls. Aventurine stood near the large window, his hands casually resting behind his back, staring at the city beyond. He’d always been fond of such moments—pauses between chaos, where the world seemed to hold its breath.

You sat on the plush sofa across from him, your legs tucked beneath you, feeling the weight of the conversation hanging in the air. Tonight, for reasons you couldn’t explain, felt different. There was an unspoken tension that neither of you had yet to address.

Aventurine turned his head slightly, his eyes gleaming in the low light, his sharp gaze piercing the silence. He was always like this, seemingly in tune with the smallest of movements, the subtlest of emotions. The man could read you like an open book, but tonight, you were the one trying to navigate his unreadable expressions.

"So," he said, his voice smooth like velvet, with just a hint of amusement, "You’ve been avoiding something, haven’t you?"

You hesitated. The knot in your chest tightened. You couldn’t explain why you were feeling so exposed tonight, but something inside you urged to be honest, even if it meant laying your vulnerability bare in front of someone like him.

"I'm... non-binary," you finally muttered, your voice barely above a whisper. "I don't fit into the boxes everyone wants to put me in. I don’t have the words for all of it, but... it's been hard sometimes. I wanted to tell you sooner, but..."

Aventurine remained still, his expression unreadable. Then, with a slow, deliberate movement, he turned fully toward you, his lips curling into a smile that held neither mockery nor pity. It was warm, inviting even. It was the kind of smile that made the air between you feel just a bit less heavy.

"You don’t need to say anything more, you know," he replied, his voice softening. "I can see it. I’ve always seen it. There’s no need to justify yourself to me."

You blinked, unsure if you had heard him correctly. Was it possible he already knew? Was it that obvious?

His smile widened slightly, as if reading the doubt on your face. "I’ve always been good at reading people. More than that," he continued, stepping closer, "I admire the way you’ve learned to navigate a world that demands conformity. I understand the struggle."

Your breath caught in your throat. "You... understand?"

Aventurine nodded slowly. "I’ve spent my life dodging labels, too. It’s a game, isn’t it? A game of risks, of stepping out into the unknown. Of betting on yourself even when no one else believes in you." His eyes flicked to yours, his gaze intense and searching, but not judging. "But I don’t need you to fit into anything. I only need you to be real with me."

There was a sense of relief flooding through you, the weight you didn’t even realize you’d been carrying beginning to lift. The room seemed warmer now, less intimidating.

"I’m sorry if it’s strange," you murmured, still trying to make sense of it all. "I’ve just... never been sure how people would react. Especially someone like you. You’ve got everything figured out, and I—"

Aventurine raised a hand, his fingers gently signaling you to stop. He crossed the space between you in a few strides, standing directly in front of you now. His presence was magnetic, like gravity itself had drawn him in.

"Don’t apologize," he said, kneeling down slightly so that his face was level with yours. "You think I’ve got it all figured out, don’t you?" He chuckled softly, a hint of a mischievous edge in his tone. "That’s funny, considering my entire life has been nothing but one big gamble. I don’t have it all figured out, but that’s the fun part, isn’t it?"

He gave you a wink, his eyes softening even more. "We’re all just rolling the dice, playing the odds. No one gets to claim control of the game entirely. Not even me."

You found yourself laughing quietly, a small, surprised sound escaping your lips. For the first time in a long while, you felt the weight of your own insecurities lifting. Aventurine wasn’t judging you, wasn’t pushing you to explain yourself in ways you couldn’t. He was welcoming you, exactly as you were.

"You know," you began, your voice a little more confident now, "You make it sound easy."

Aventurine raised an eyebrow. "Easy?" He repeated, his voice playful. "No, darling. I never said anything about easy. But who’s to say you can’t make it your own game? You have a knack for it, after all."

You met his gaze, your heart feeling lighter with each word. He wasn’t just being kind; he was invested. He didn’t just accept you—he understood the stakes, the risks, the gamble of simply existing.

"I want you to know something," he said, his expression suddenly more serious, though the warmth in his eyes never faltered. "I don’t need you to fit into any mold. Not with me, not with anyone. You’ve survived, and that, my dear, is worth more than any victory I could ever achieve. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise."

Your eyes softened as you absorbed his words, the sincerity that lay behind them stirring something deep within you. It was more than you had ever expected to hear from someone like him. And for the first time in a long while, you felt as though you had found a place where you could truly belong.

"I don’t know what to say," you whispered, a shy smile curling at the corner of your lips.

"Then don’t say anything," Aventurine replied with a grin, standing up once again, offering you a hand. "Just play the game your way. And let’s see where it takes us."

As your hand slipped into his, you knew—this gamble, this dance of hearts—was one you were willing to take.

Together, you could face whatever the odds threw your way.

[gor3sigil]

Detransition - My Story

[CW for Domestic Abuse, S*xual Abuse, Social Detransition, Misgendering, Alcoholism]

Recently, I watched “I Saw the TV Glow”, and it blew me away.

The ending really made me want to tell a story that happened to me.

Between the end of 2020 until the end of 2021, I detransitionned, mostly socially as I hadn’t started transitionning medically at the time. I did so because of many factors, and I never really wrote about it in details or reflected on it deeply as it was a very hard time for me. But I think that I now have enough hindsight as to why it happened and how it affected me to be comfortable sharing.

So, 2020 was a crazy year for everyone. I was in a T4T poly relationship, living with my partner of almost 5 years and started to go out with another trans dude. Long story short, because this isn’t about this, but I got into a physical altercation with my living partner during quarantine after years of emotional and verbal abuse, financial manipulation and isolation. I had to flee and live with my boyfriend for almost 8 months after leaving. And it was hell on earth.

I tried to not make a big deal out of what happened, but the fact of the matter was I had no place to call home, I was separated from my cat because she couldn’t live with us as my boyfriend’s place was a one room student flat and we struggled to live both of us here, and I had very little money due to not being able to work because of Covid.

What happened next to me leaving was constant harassment for weeks, the people whom I called friends siding with my abusive ex, and I felt so defeated. I couldn’t go back to my local trans community out of fear, and the community that I still had I struggled to trust again. I was supposed to start HRT before Covid hit, but it was cancelled. I got so much shit for just telling my story because so many people treated it as “slander” to accuse a trans woman of abusing me. I had receipts but never showed them, to protect her and myself. While she hurt me, she still was in a vulnerable position and it was out of the question to put her in danger. Let’s just say that I didn’t receive the same treatment in return and got lied about, harassed and bullied by people who thought she could do no wrong.

I started to totally lose trust in the community I used to feel safe in. And one day, I met a cis man. I talked to him, we got a coffee, he invited me to his place later, he got drunk and SAd me.

Two weeks passed, two excruciating weeks during which I felt so far away from everything and everyone, I coped by smoking a lot, I was in a deep dissociative state. I was disgusted, I felt so betrayed, I felt like I had no safe space. I still can’t explain why I did what I did, but after these two weeks, I still had the hoodie he handed me to go home, and I decided to meet him to give it back and talk.

He gaslighted me, using the fact that I was mentally ill to prove that I must have imagined what happened, and I believed him.

Meanwhile, I started getting nasty comments from my boyfriend and his friends for going out with a cis man.

Let me say that again.

My boyfriend was not upset that I was putting myself in danger, that I was starting a relationship with someone who had abused me, that I was in deep distress and not trusting anyone from my community anymore so I basically ran the other way, in the polar opposite way, with someone who treated me like a woman and called my desire for top surgery “mutilation”. What he was the most upset about was that I was going out with a cis man.

I became a running joke.

And when I told him that I had slept with my new boyfriend, he told me that I had “slept with the enemy”.

We had a two weeks break, after which I broke up with him for good. I had my own flat, and I was so fucking traumatized about what had happened with my ex and the vitriol I received for my new relationship that I decided it was enough. I was trying so hard to fit in my local trans community, that barely supported me when I got abused, and now what was left of it shat on me for going out with a cis man, it was the last straw.

For a year, I was having the most isolated relationship I ever had.

J, my new boyfriend, was my world. He told me that I thought I was trans out of fear. That it was a lie. That I just was scared of being abused again so I decided that to become a man was to be safe, but it was not. That all I felt was internalized misogyny I could work on, find my inner feminine self again and be happy as a woman. And I believed him. Oh, how I trusted him. I was not even in my mid twenties yet and he was in his early thirties, he must know better. I started using my deadname and feminine pronouns again. I bought dresses, skirts, even wore make up on occasions.

For a year, I killed myself. Slowly but surely. I was a full blown alcoholic, the relationship was becoming more and more abusive and isolating, I spent most of my time with him, most of the time we were drunk, most of the time things weren’t consensual, and it became my new normal.

I was retraumatizing myself. Relieving things I lived in the past because I felt so betrayed.

I had no friends left, the only one I still had didn’t hear about me until the end of my relationship with J. One time I saw her in the street, I was drunk, and J corrected her when she called me “he”. Said it was “she” now. And I said nothing.

We were in a poly relationship, and after the one year mark, after a few traumatizing hookups with random dudes on Tinder, I found my current partner. And when I started to get treated like I deserved to be, I started to snap back. I started fighting back when J acted out, I started seeing the dark place I was in.

Two things made me realize how bad I had been lying to myself.

The first one was a TikTok trend, the one with the song “My Little Dark Age”. The first time I saw a trans man doing this trend with photos of him being himself, then going back to the closet, and in present times, out. “Just know that if you hide, it doesn’t go away”. I sobbed uncontrollably for hours after seeing it.

The second one was one time, drunk, with my partner, I was telling them about the “time where I was trans”. And I was telling them about binders, and offered to show them how it was when I was wearing it. I had thrown away everything I had related to being trans in a cardboard box. I took it out and put it on. Looked at myself in the mirror. And burst out in tears. My partner hold me while I said in between sobs: “how could I do this to myself ?”, “it feels so right, why does it feels so right ? I though I’d be happy as a woman !”. And I cried and cried and cried.

Two weeks later I changed my name again. 2 months after, I broke up with J.

I wanted to tell this story as a cautionnary one. I know that I failed myself. But I can’t help but think that I was also failed in a way. By my community, by the spaces I was in both online and IRL. I am not blaming the individuals. This isn’t about “detransition”. This is about care.

This is a reminder to care. To be kind.

I don’t regret what happened. It’s part of me now. But sometimes I can’t help but wonder how things would’ve turned out if, instead of making fun of me for going out with a cis man, my then friends would’ve asked me kindly why I decided to go out with him. What changed in my mind between the night he SAd me and now. Or just offered a shoulder to cry on. What would’ve happened if I had been offered support for the trauma I was going through, if I hadn’t been told that in the end, J had won, he “have gotten what he wanted”.

“Why is it always so easy for cis men, to get what they want ?”

And in these statements, I became an object. A “want”. And I think that’s one of the main reason I lost every ounce of trust I had left in people who swore they were on my side and had my back.

You may not understand why people make some decisions. But please, before any politics get involved, remember than whose around you are people. Human. With complicated and sometimes conflicting feelings. Flawed. And worthy of your understanding.

This is about not letting politics and theories make you forget to care for one another, to protect each other, and to be here. It can change everything.

[atfisty]

While I want Sam to lose I do have to be a realist cause Teeny has failed at everything they set their mind to and I have to believe they are gonna crash and burn at fire making too.

[ashlythewolf]

Slugcats

[workingdownthewordmine]

Love Thy Neighbour - Chapter 5 Every Man Is Guilty

Bucky struggles with the attitudes of his so-called friends and Hive makes themself scarce.

Read this chapter on AO3 here.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 4

Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe Characters: James "Bucky" Barnes, Nonbinary OC, Steve Rogers Rating: T CW: Guilt, bullying (mention), violent child abuse (mention), homophobia (mention), mild dissociation Prompts filled: @lgbtqbingo : Hickeys @fluffbruary : Day 6 - Embarrassment @multifandom-flash (Compliments) : You are better than you think you are

@fandom-free-bingo (World Book Night Edition card 1) : "I don't need you." @fandom-free-bingo (Flight Edition) : Can't make it to dinner, Teasing @anyfandomangstbingo : Best friend's boyfriend @febuwhump : Day 24 - "I'm doing this because I care about you." @seasonaldelightsbingo (Winter Wonderland) : Situationship

Dividers by @unfortunate-beetle-and-friends

Chapter 5 – Every Man is Guilty

“But I have my life, I’m living it. It’s twisted, exhausting, uncertain, and full of guilt, but nonetheless, there’s something there.”

Banana Yoshimoto

“You’re not selling me on this, Steve.” Bucky leant back on the kitchen wall, chin lowered and arms crossed.

“I can’t give you specifics right now. Security’s too tight. If you’ll just come and talk to Fury-”

This was the guy who’d lied to every draft office in the tri-state area? When had Steve become so damn hidebound? “I’m not interested. I told you before, I’m not going to work for SHIELD. And you can save Barton and Romanov’s very touching Different Call story. I’m grateful for what you did for me, really, but I never agreed to get away from Hydra just to sell my soul to someone else.”

Steve’s hands dug deeper into his pockets. “SHIELD isn’t Hydra, Buck. It’s not the same at all. Just let me set up a chat with the director and you’ll see that.”

“Why won’t you let this drop? You’ve got your whole Captain America deal with your team. I’ve got an actual life of my own now. You don’t need me.”

“Fine. You’re right. I don’t need you.”

Never had someone agreeing with him felt so much like a fist in the gut. Bucky didn’t get the chance to tell him to go fuck himself. Steve kept going. “This isn’t about me needing your help, Buck. I’m here because I want your help. I need people around me that I can trust and I trust you. You’re my oldest friend. And I gotta say, Bucky, this whole ‘new life’ you say you’ve got going on looks a lot like walling yourself up in a different cell. I’m doing this because I care about you. What good was getting them to let you go free if you’re just going to lock yourself back up? You look like shit, Buck. When did you last eat? Or drink anything that wasn’t coffee or at least eighty proof? You aren’t one of the bad guys anymore. You can do something worthwhile with your life. You don’t have to be all alone. Why won’t you let me help you?”

“Fuck you, Steve. I’m not gonna be your goddamn bad guy outreach program poster boy. And I had a cheese sandwich just last night, as though it’s any of your fucking business.” And I’m not alone…

They both looked up at the same moment, both heads turned towards the hall closet. “Shit’s always falling down somewhere round here. Place has gone to hell.” But even Steve wasn’t dumb enough not to recognise a sneeze when he heard it.

“For a guy with his windows rigged to blow, you’re weirdly calm about someone climbing around inside your walls.” The tinge of suspicion he heard in Steve’s voice hurt more than Bucky had expected. Who the hell did he think he’d be hiding in a wall cavity? Then he cringed inwardly as Steve began looking around with more intent than he had before. Bucky practically felt his eyes rest for a moment on the extra sleeping bag. His eyebrows visibly rose when he spotted the mug with its weird cute cartoon dragon thing. “Buck?” The suspicion had gone from Steve’s voice and Bucky missed it already.

“Hey, kid, it’s okay. Just a social call.” He listened for a beat of silence, then he and Steve both hear the departing scraping of Hive heading up to the roof. Knowing what he did, Bucky could pick up the unevenness in their movement and made a note to ask to check their injuries later. If he ever saw them again, of course. They might be too spooked to come back at all. He looked down at their mug. They’d be back. He hoped.

“I guess it’s cool that some things don’t change. But I don’t remember you being this coy about your girlfriends even in the forties.”

“‘Girlfriend’ is a real strong word for anyone I passed the time with back then. And that’s not… what this is. They’re just a friend.” Or something. This was definitely not the time to start seriously questioning the weird-ass situation he’d found himself in the last twelve hours or so.

“A friend who hides in the wall when your other friends drop by?”

Other friends? Did Steve think Bucky was having poker nights with the guys every week? What other friends?

“They’re shy, okay?”

“Buck, you don’t have to be embarrassed. I’m glad you’ve found someone you don’t mind having around. I hated thinking of you cooped up here with nothing but a bunch of old memories.” Steve, buddy, you have no idea… “Think I’ll ever get to meet them? What? I can’t be curious about the first person apart from me to ever know the notorious Bucky Barnes well enough to leave a mug at his place?” He couldn’t help but be mildly impressed at Steve’s rapid and unquestioning switch to the neutral pronoun.

“I doubt it. They’re shy, like I said. And it’s not really an ‘introductions to old friends’ kind of thing.” Of at least that much he was sure. Hell, it wasn’t even a thing. Just a really weird couple of days… that had left an extra sleeping bag on his floor.

Steve was frowning again. “You, uh, you’re not in trouble, right? I’ll believe you, whatever you say. I just can’t help noticing you’re a bit more banged up than I’ve seen you in a while. And you smell like that stuff your mom used to cover my hives in when we were kids.” He tried a weak grin.

Well, believe it or not a Hive was responsible… Buck almost returned the smile before he shook himself.  “I’m good. Just had a run in with some kind of funky old insulation while I was doing some repairs. Nothing to worry your pretty head about. The scratches are all healed up anyway.” He turned his shoulder to indicate the one Hive had uncovered. “Only covered them up so I wouldn’t get blood on anything, just didn’t get round to taking off the rest of the bandages before you stopped in for the little recruitment drive. Speaking of which –”

Steve held up a hand to stop him. “Speaking of which, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said… a lot of what I did. It wasn’t my place to judge what you’ve got going on here. I’m sorry.” The renewed anger Bucky had been preparing to unleash petered out more quickly than he had expected. “I meant it though, about wanting to work with you again.”

Buck grunted. “Howling Commandoes reunion tour? This time with one hundred percent less falling out of trains, right?” He hadn’t expected Steve to take the weak joke so hard. Steve hadn’t looked this green since a kid landed a kick in his stomach that left him puking his guts into a trash can. He’d been waiting on the ground by the can when Buck came back with split knuckles and a grin of triumph. They’d gone back to Buck’s place to clean up before Steve’s dad could see the mess on his shirt and add a bloody nose to Steve’s problems. Buck’s place. This place. The sink where they’d rinsed out that faded threadbare shirt had been torn out long ago or it would have been right about where Steve was standing now.

“I should have looked harder.”

“Huh?” Maybe Hive’s attention span was catching, somehow. It took him a second to reconnect the dots.

“I went back. To the pass. I went back about a dozen times, looking for – well – for a body, I guess. Maybe if I’d been smarter about it, I would’ve… would’ve found you. Maybe we wouldn’t be where we are now.” Steve’s words sounded like he was trying to swallow them rather than speak them aloud. “But we are. And I can’t fix what I abandoned you to, but I can’t walk away again. Please, Buck, stop by the compound sometime – nothing to do with SHIELD, just come say hi. Or answer your phone once in a while. I miss my best friend, Buck. The guy I knew back in forty-five, back when our lives made some sort of sense.”

“That guy died in the fall, Steve.”

Steve shook his head. “No, I think he’s very much alive. I see him in there. Don’t bury my best friend in this place, Buck, please. You might feel like you deserve that but you don’t. I’m not talking about showing off how ‘rehabilitated’ you are or anything like that. I mean that guy still deserves the life he should have got the first time around.”

Was that part of you given a choice?

Yes.

There’s always a choice.

No. I would never have chosen that…

Bucky managed to look up at Steve’s eyes. Still fucking insane that he was taller than Buck now. “He’s getting a life. And, I guess, if you’re going to be clingy dork about it, that life can involve spending more time with you than it has done so far. Happy?”

“Yeah, happy. Jerk.”

“We’re in the twenty-first century now, for fuck’s sake, Steve. Learn to curse, I’m begging you.” For just a second they shared a grin. The moment was broken by a beep from Steve’s phone. The sudden awkward energy that radiated from him came as a surprise. “I don’t care if you check your phone, you know? World might be hours from destruction or something.”

“That’s unlikely.” Steve blushed. “It’s probably personal.”

“Stark sending out mass dick pics or something? You’re practically glowing there, Rogers.” The blond head ducked, Steve pushing a hand through his hair. He successfully blocked the blush from view but the new angle… “Steve, that’s a fucking hickey! That’s… at least three hickeys!” Captain America’s complexion was a riot of crimson, the blush spreading down to the livid bruise just below his jaw. “You bruise like I do – those are new and vicious. Christ, Steve, you been hooking up with a moray eel?”

“I, ah, I’m seeing someone.”

“No shit.” Probably he should have expected it. Steve must be one of the most eligible bachelors in the country now. Superpowers, a name like “Captain America”, and serum-enhanced looks on tops of his natural Steve-ness… The girls were probably all over him. Weird thought. “Well? Who is she? Do I need to check she’s good enough for my best friend?”

The tips of Steve’s ears became practically scarlet. “It, uh, look, Buck, I–” Bucky frowned. “The person I’m dating is… he’s a guy.”

Well, Bucky couldn’t say he’d never wondered. The immediate mental maelstrom was much the same as it would have been in the forties. How much trouble was this going to cause him? How many more beatings because hiding himself was absolutely alien to Steve’s nature? It took a few seconds for the twenty-first century to impose itself on his thinking. No, probably no beating for Captain America, but public opinion could be a hell of a thing to reckon with – especially for the nation’s golden boy. And Steve was standing there right now closer to cringing than Buck had seen him since his dad was alive. God, there was a man – if he even deserved the word – who would have exploded at the news that his son was a fairy. He probably would have tried to thrash it out of him, Avenger or no.

“He’s not off the hook for best friend judgement just because he’s male, you know. Do I get to meet him?” He felt the pressure in the room change as Steve relaxed. Had he really expected hostility over his confession? From Bucky?

He doesn’t trust you…

“Uh, I guess, sometime. No one else has yet but it’s not… not really a secret. The team knows.”

Bucky nodded. “Well? You gonna see what he wants?” On cue, Steve’s phone chimed again. Reluctantly, ears still hot, he pulled it out of his pocket.

“Just asking where I want to get dinner tonight.” He tapped out a reply, making Buck smile at the geriatric concentration he had to put into the exercise, betraying the boyish face.

“Cute.”

He knows, deep down, what a monster he unleashed by letting you go.

Stop.

That’s why he’s scared of you, even now. Guilt for leaving you behind? More likely guilt for not finishing what he started when he let you fall.

He didn’t “let me fall”.

We’ve been over this, asset. You used to be less naïve. You know the resources he has at his disposal. Do you really believe he didn’t just decide you weren’t worth the trouble?

Steve pushed his phone back into his pocket and grinned sheepishly. “Sorry about that.”

Bucky waved the apology away.

“I should probably get going. I’ll see you? Soon?”

Bucky nodded, but…

Empty offer. You really think he and his new friends want someone around who tried to kill them – however poorly you executed your assignment? Stark didn’t even trust you unsupervised in this dump, let alone in his precious Tower.

“Steve, you sure the others won’t mind me just stopping by? Doubt I‘m popular over there. Not real eager to get teargassed soon as I set foot over the perimeter.”

Steve smiled, his confidence returning. He’d swung his leg over the sill already. “Sure, I’m sure. It’s not like everyone trusted Natasha when she first showed up either. They’re the good guys, Buck. They believe in second chances.” His smile was warm as ever as he ducked out of the window, not seeing the way the temperature of Bucky’s blood had plummeted. “And charge your phone,” Bucky heard him say as his feet landed on the tarmac.

Second chances… isn’t that sweet? So much for his assurances of your deep and abiding innocent soul, it seems. You could have almost believed that choir boy act, couldn’t you?

It was three hours before Hive returned the way they had left. The hum of the generator wasn’t quite enough to drown out their scuffling descent. The faceless apparition was unnerving until they loosened their hood strings and pulled their hoodie down to uncover their lower face. “Protection,” they explained, though Bucky had already guessed as much. From the looks of the stretched fabric round their wrists, they’d had the sleeves pulled down over their hands too.

“Good call. Skin still itches like shit.” He’d had another go with the cream – Steve was right about the smell barely having changed in almost a century – but ran into the same problem as before. He’d had to spend a good twenty minutes scrubbing the stuff out of the joints in his arm with a toothbrush.

He was turning to offer Hive some of the beans he’d been heating on the camping stove, when he realised what else had bothered him about their appearance. They were huddled in the hallway, dressed as they’d been when they made their exit earlier – hoodie, cargoes, black and purple striped socks…

“You’ve been hanging around Brooklyn with no fucking shoes on?”

“You’d be amazed. Saw one guy with no shoes, no socks, and only half a pair of trousers. Guess I should be grateful for what I’ve got. Anyway, I wasn’t stopping for pre-flight checks while I was busy fleeing for my life, was I?”

“You need to check that you’re wearing shoes?”

“Told ya,” They seemed almost proud. “My brain is wrong.”

“Won’t be the only thing that’s wrong if you do shit like that. You’re lucky you haven’t got tetanus or something.”

“Probably too soon to be sure if I have or not,” they pointed out as they dropped down by the fire and stuck their feet out to warm near the flames.

“Not real comforting, kid.”

Hive watched him for a moment, maybe wondering the same thing he was: at what point had their continued well-being become a matter of comfort to him. Then again, maybe not.

“You call me that a lot. Kid. ‘M not a kid, you know.”

He grunted in reply. “I’m an old man, kid. Don’t take it personally.” That was apparently acceptable. They huffed but smirked. They wiggled their toes. Unsurprisingly, the soles of their socks were filthy, damp, and holes in more than one place. One big toe poked free. They saw him looking and wagged it pointedly at him.

“Rude to stare.” They were grinning.

“Sure your feet are okay? There are landfills cleaner than the streets round here. No cuts or anything?”

“Will you feel better if I check?”

“I’ll have less concern about my apartment stinking of gangrene tomorrow, yeah.”

They rolled their eyes but folded their legs and peeled off their socks.

He doled out beans, giving Hive the bowl and keeping his own in the pan, while they performed their inspection.

“All good,” they pronounced, hopping up with only a bit of a wobble to rinse their hands under the lonely sinkless faucet. Bucky wasn’t sure if it had been seeing Steve standing in the old place, looking not so much like he’d grown as like the room had shrunk around him, or if it was just having someone else inhabiting the space with him for a while, but the apartment’s wasted, skeletal feel was more noticeable to him now. He was making food over a camping stove. His bed was a sleeping bag. For someone who’d finally come back home, he looked pretty homeless right now, didn’t he? Was that what Steve had seen? Did Bucky have that same look? An abandoned shell, like the building?

What makes you think you deserve any better? You could have been so much more…

“Cheers.” Hands clean, Hive had grabbed their bowl and clunked it lightly against the pan. Seeing his confusion, they repeated, “A toast to toes not turning grey and dropping off! Which… now that I hear it again, may not have been the most genteel toast ever raised at a meal. Oops. Hope I didn’t put you off.” They tucked into their own food with no sign of discomfort.

“A toast to not losing body parts gets my vote,” he conceded. They shared a grin. “Where did you go earlier anyway? Guessing you didn’t find a café that didn’t care about the lack of shoes.”

“Rooftops, mostly. Nearby ones. Figured if it was a social call I probably didn’t need to flee the state. Thought about a library but figured I’d attract a bit too much attention.”

“Library?”

“They have books there! The wild kind, not the kind you have to pay for. Like a book zoo – except members can foster the animals. The analogy got a bit lost, sorry.”

“I followed, most of it anyway. I do know what a library is. We had ‘em when I was a kid too, you know.”

While he did the sparse dishes, Bucky could see Hive moving around out of the corner of his eye. A glance found them rolling up their sleeping bag and gathering the small quantity of trash they’d been accumulating into a sack. He dried his hands and grabbed his phone; it had turned up beside the plant pot. The generator fell quiet. Bucky turned the phone on and almost immediately wished he hadn’t. It lit up with message after message, the device rattling in his metal grip.

Steve: Been a while. How are you getting on?

Steve: Hope you are doing okay. There is a briefing later today that you might be interested in. Let me know.

Banner: Shuri sent me over your updated records. I think we should discuss a pain management regimen. Contact me.

Steve: Clint and Natasha are planning a movie night. How about joining us?

Steve: You really need to answer a text (or a call) once in a while.

Fen: You’re 30m late

Fen: Where are you??

Fen: Call me, James

Steve: I tried to call twice and didn’t get an answer. I’m going to drop by this morning. There’s some SHIELD business I want to discuss and it’s been a long time since you checked in. Miss you, man.

Fen: This is real shitty of you. You’re decent at the job and I like you but you can’t just ditch for the day without a word. The garage was busy today. We need to talk.

Steve: ETA 10 minutes.

“Fuck.” Hive looked up. “Everything going on since yesterday… Seems I forgot to go to work today.” He started moving automatically, grabbing his jacket off a picture nail, and toeing his boots upright. Hive must have taken them off for him while he was unconscious. He’d have expected to feel more latent objection to the idea but he definitely did not have time to stop and consider the unfamiliar close, warm sensation he experienced instead.

“I should have thought… sorry.”

“Huh?” He stopped, half inside his jacket.

“I mean, I knew, didn’t I? Where you work. That’s how I found you in the first place. Should have occurred to me that you ought to be there.”

He was already four hours late. What difference was five more minutes likely to make to his boss’s bad mood. “Wasn’t your problem if I went to work or not. I’m a big enough boy to handle my own routine.” He was a bit unsettled to see Hive huddling into a corner again, much as they’d done last night. They were still on their feet but they’d shrunken down into their hoodie and were not looking at him. “Hey, kid, it’ll be okay. My huge personal charm will smooth things over with my boss and anyway it is not up to you to have shit to do with my schedule.” They nodded but still wouldn’t meet his eyes. Their gaze was unfocused, drifting around the floor. Trying not to wonder why he cared, he cast around for something to ground them.

“Know what? I’m gonna try to make a dinner tonight that doesn’t come straight out of a can. What do ya think? Sound good?”

“I mean… it’s pretty vague.” He was relieved to see some… presence come back into their face. “Are we talking closer to a dead pigeon you found on the roof or delicately braised sustainably-farmed salmon?” Bucky’s expression apparently satisfied. They grinned a little.

“I guess somewhere in the middle but a little closer to the dead pigeon. I’ll do my best.”

The grin brightened. “Sounds good. I don’t like salmon much anyway.”

He nodded. “No salmon. Got it. See you later – gotta go save my job.”

The garage hadn’t been too bad. Fen had been obliged to rake him over the coals a little – sure it was real useful having a guy on staff who could jack up a car on one hand, in addition to being able to handle basically any bike issue she could remember being brought, but only if he was gonna decide to turn up when expected and not just when it was convenient to him. He knew she took no pleasure in playing the hard-ass, except with assholes who didn’t believe she was more than capable of dismantling their tricked out dick substitutes down to the nuts and then reassembling it faster than they could jerk off over a climate change denial manifesto; she just wanted her garage running smooth. He’d worked out the rest of the day and hung out past close to put away some late deliveries by way of apology and all ruffled feathers had settled. His extended shift had meant it was already past dark when he got to his supply run, though. He hoped Hive wasn’t getting too hungry waiting.

If they were, it wasn’t causing any notable chaos. The building was quiet and dark. Maybe they were taking the opportunity for some much needed sleep. A smile crept over his lips at the thought. He tried to keep quiet and not disturb them when he manoeuvred his awkward haul through the window, catching the new wok as it made a dash for the floor. But he’d no sooner set things down than he knew the apartment was deserted. It felt empty in a way he couldn’t recall it feeling before they’d arrived. He stuck his head out into the hallway but the whole building had the same mournful, abandoned echo. A shiver gripped him – all the more dramatic in a body that always ran so hot. He searched the apartment. Their sleeping bag was folded neatly in a corner of the hall. His own he found moved to his bedroom, spread out with pillow, blanket and a sheet of paper laid on top. He recognised their handwriting.

Hey Bucky,

Wasn’t sure when to expect you back. I’m so sorry – looks like I might have to miss dinner after all. I need to go do something. Should be back by 9 at the latest so… maybe save me some if I didn’t piss you off too much by ditching? Sorry, again. Sorry sorry sorry. See you later.

Hive x

Bucky stood in his bedroom doorway with the note in his hand and shot a look at the things he’d left in the kitchen – the wok and utensils he’d been managing without, the extra bowl, plate, cutlery, and the bag spilling spring onions and packets of noodles beside them. Gotta do what they gotta do, he supposed. The note creased in his fingers. No problem. Might take him a while to get this right anyway. He’d cook, and they’d probably be back by the time he was done, sure.

With how many people who’d love to know where to find Bucky Barnes in tow?

They don’t want to be found themselves. They wouldn’t bring anyone back here…

The nightmare act really sucked you in, didn’t it? Who knows who they really are? Even if they are in hiding from someone, aren’t there plenty of people who’d trade the whereabouts of the Winter Soldier for better protection than hiding out with a monster who already nearly killed them? Not a high bar, is it?

So what’s your suggestion?

What time is it?

What?

They said they’d be back by nine.

Probably so we’d stay put and off guard.

What time is it?

He’d never bothered to get a clock. He pulled out his phone.

22:27

His eyes shot to the window.

Note: Thanks for reading, y'all! And thank you to all the wonderful providers of prompt events without which I probably wouldn't have started writing again. Special thank you to my boys for inspiring me and keeping me motivated.

[brennustheskeleton]

Brennus’ scug designs

[secretlyhuntokar]

With every fic I See that uses he/him pronouns for Lyf, my soul dies a little.

[ezekiel13]

I need to sit my Lone Wanderer, Courier, and Sole Survivor in a room. They’d all just stare at each other. And then they’d sigh. And be like: “We all have really weird names.”

[foragedberries]

what do i include in my intro post so y’all know what this swamp contains

[wyhutsu]

🚨 icon alert!

[livingfictionsystem]

Pov: Someone asks you if your magnum opus is the feel-good story of the season.

Photography by: @Julesjulesphoto

[sourle]

https://www.tumblr.com/sourle/782612631264673792/falls-through-the-roof-you-know-i-just-wanna?source=share

Oof- now that I think about it- if I was in a situation like that with the Reader like that- honestly.... Smash-

OKAY BUT FR NOW- like just imagine the Reader but with different survivors now- uggfhhh- i love situations like that cus it has so much drama but also shows what and how different survivors would and could react if they were put into a situation like THAT with the reader-

(Lucky taph-)

(btw, you don't have to do this request if you don't want to, and if you want to, take your time 😌👍)

Spaces

Get yo nasty azz on!

WARNINGS: a bit suggestive, i think? Just the cast getting mushed between your chest

Note:

Ohohohoho

Rubs my hands together*

Noob

Oh they are full on FLUSTERED

This non-binary would not survive one second vro🙏

After it they would be a stuttering mess

They can't look at you, not the same way at least

Gosh they wonder if they would be able to be trapped like that with you again

WHAT WHO THOUGHT THAT

They're crumbling and would be spotted staring at you chest RESPECTFULLY

Elliot

Oh he does not expect it at ALL

He's blushing, confused, flustered, all mixing emotions, no negative ones.

He'll quickly get out the tight space and breath heavily to either control himself or he's been holding his breath while squeezed between your chest

Oh he will definitely STARE with Noob, RESPECTFULLY

Bro still hates you but damn he can't deny LMAO

Shedletsky

WOAH WOAH WHAT

Oh he's both embarrassed and flustered

Both due to getting mushed between your chest

He pulled back before saying 'fuck it' in his mind and rest his face between it

Bro succumb

Maybe from that one interaction alone he's questioning if he truly hates you lol

Builderman

Being the shortest has it perks huh?

He's full on embarrassed about it

He can't think, he malfunction

He refused, in denial, that he enjoyed it

Will push you away the moment his face gets between those chests like you're full of germs

Dusekkar

Why is his fire burning hotter?

He's embarrassed and flustered, yet he just floats higher to be face to face with you

He's not dealing with it, nor does he want to think about it

He does think about it after like what if he didn't float up

Two time

They're just standing still

Not moving

Fella is smiling, either giddily or just from flustering

They does not mind at all

They actually enjoys it and would sniff

You quickly throw them out of the hiding spot

Chance

He doesn't know if he's lucky or unlucky

But if they're told to make a bet, he's lucky

WHY IS HE NUZZLING FORWARD BRO YOU FREAK

They don't mind and will not move even after the killer is gone

It's up to you if you wanna push him off or not

But if you do they will look like a kicked puppy

Guest 1337

Will pull back instantly out of respect

Bro is not staying, he will go out and fight with the killer from sheer embarrassment alone

Safe to say he did think about it once afterwards

007n7

Oh like Noob, he's full on FLUSTERED

He short circuits, he doesn't know if he should pull away or not

He's a stuttering mess, apologizing a lot

He expressed that he's embarrassed but gosh does he want it inside

Note: I've done Taph before, so i won't do him here

[batboyblog]

What Joe Biden has Done for LGBTQ+ People

I wanted to list out everything The Biden Administration has done for Queer people in the last 3 and a half years, but according to GLAAD it'd been 337 moves (and I noticed they missed a few things...) there was just no way to list every ground breaking first Queer person ever nominated to fill this or that job, every ally with a historic LGBT rights record nominated for a top job, every beautiful statement of support, every time he tried to get Congress to pass the Equality Act (support it!) So I've gone through and done my best to pick the ones I think were the most important, but everyone should check out the full list!

Day 1: Signs executive orders banning discrimination and ordering a full review of all federal agencies policies to better include and support LGBT people

Pete Buttigieg becomes the first openly gay person nominated and confirmed for a cabinet level post as Secretary of Transportation

Revokes Trump’s 2018 ban on transgender military personnel

Department of Housing and Urban Development implements LGBTQ protections in housing, becoming first federal agency to implement Pres. Biden’s executive order

First President to recognize and proclaim Trans Day of Visibility

Department of Justice Civil Rights Division issues an official memo that the Supreme Court's Bostock decision against LGBT workplace discrimination also applies to education through Title IX

HUD withdraws a Trump Administration proposed rule change, and reaffirms trans people's rights to seek shelters matching their gender identity

HHS announces the withdrawal of Trump Administration rules that allowed discrimination by healthcare organizations against LGBT people.

The State Department and later Homeland Security announce babies born to Queer couples overseas will be American citizens if one parent is American, in the past the child only qualified if they were genetically related to the American citizen parent.

The Justice Department files against a West Virginia law banning trans students from school athletics

Department of Veterans Affairs announces it will offer gender confirming surgery for transgender veterans. There are an estimated 134,000 transgender veterans in the U.S. and another 15,000 transgender people serving in the armed forces.

President Biden Signs a law making the Pulse Night Club a national memorial

The State Department creates an X gender marker for passports and other documents, allowing gender affirming identification for non-binary and intersex people for the first time.

The Census Bureau for the first time issues a Survey with questions about sexual orientation and gender identity

On the 10th anniversary of the repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, Veterans Administration announces that soldiers discharged for homosexual conduct, gender identity or HIV status qualify for veterans' benefits

Dr. Rachel Levine becomes the first trans person confirmed by the US Senate when she was nominated to be Assistant Secretary for Health, she also became the first trans flag rank officer when she was sworn in as a 4 star Admiral for her job as head of the Public Health Service Commissioned Corps, his makes her the highest ranked trans person in government

Holds the first ever vigil in the White House for Transgender Day of Remembrance

HHS announces rule change to reinstate and expand protections against discrimination in the Affordable Care Act, including denying coverage for gender-affirming care.

Social Security Administration reverses a Trump Administration policy and allows benefits claims by surviving partners in same-sex relationships, whose partner died before marriage equality was legal

President Biden signs the reauthorization of the Violence Against Women Act (a bill he helped originally craft in the Senate) which for the first time has grant programs dedicated to expanding and developing initiatives specifically for LGBTQ survivors of domestic violence

The TSA announces new technology and policy shifts to improve the customer experience of transgender travelers who have previously been required to undergo additional screening due to alarms in sensitive areas.

The Social Security Administration allows people to edit their gender and name on records for the first time without legal and medical documentation

The US Air Force announces it'll offer medical and legal aid to any personnel families affected by state level anti-trans youth bills.

Karine Jean-Pierre becomes the first Lesbian to serve as White House Press Secretary

on 50th anniversary of Title IX The Department of Ed strengthens protections for Students against sexual harassment and discrimination

Veterans Affairs announces survivor benefits now extended to partners from relationships before marriage equality was legalized in 2015

President Biden signs the Respect for Marriage Act into law enshrining protections for marriage equality for same-sex and interracial couples

The Department of Ed announces new rules around athletic eligibility under Title IX, declaring blanket bans on trans students violate the law and setting up strike standards for schools

The White House announced a suit of new protections for LGBTQ people, including a new job at the Department of Ed to combat book bans, a joint DoJ Homeland Security effort to combat violence and threats and HHS evidence-based guidance to mental health providers for care of transgender kids

President Biden signs an Executive Order directing HHS to protect LGBTQI+ youth in the foster care system, a rule they later passed requiring Queer foster children to be placed in affirming homes

The Biden administration joins families of transgender youth in Tennessee and Kentucky in petitioning the U.S. Supreme Court to review and reverse a circuit court ruling allowing a ban on mainstream health care to be enforced

President Biden Signs a EO expanding on past EO on equality and helping underserved communities

The Department of Education's Civil Rights office opens an investigation into the death of Nex Benedict. President Biden in his statement said: "Every young person deserves to have the fundamental right and freedom to be who they are, and feel safe and supported at school and in their communities. Nex Benedict, a kid who just wanted to be accepted, should still be here with us today. Nonbinary and transgender people are some of the bravest Americans I know. But nobody should have to be brave just to be themselves. In memory of Nex, we must all recommit to our work to end discrimination and address the suicide crisis impacting too many nonbinary and transgender children.”

[greypistacchio]

"Pieces Of Paper We Hold" (HuskerDust) is live on AO3!

hey hazbin fandom!! you might want to check out my complex and multi-layered fic for these two losers!! it explores the nuances of morality, sin, and redemption, as well as cool kink and some light BDSM between the ultimate otp.

read "Pieces Of Paper We Hold", a Hazbin Hotel post-season 1 HuskerDust fanfiction here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/53795893/chapters/136163467.

before you proceed, find all trigger warnings, as well as the rep, below the cut.

featured below is commissioned art by @mothmanadjacent (MothMommyy on Twitter)!

"PIECES OF PAPER WE HOLD" WILL BE AVAILABLE AS A LIMITED PAPERBACK SOON!

THE BOOK, AND SOME MERCH, WILL BE SOLD IN A CHARITY SALE FOR A LIMITED TIME

100% of the profit will go to a non-profit that helps SA survivors and victims of human trafficking. The sale will be handled by myself, and I will be keeping and providing receipts of ALL donations going to the right place.

You can find all the information about the charity sale here:

If you're interested, please fill out the interest form HERE.

TRIGGER WARNING LIST

Addiction

Alcoholism, alcohol abuse, drinking

Anxiety attacks

BDSM**

Emotional abuse*

Explicit sexual content**

Intimate partner violence*

Gambling

Gaslighting*

Gun violence

Loss of a child

Non-con sex as a punishment*

Physical violence

Post-traumatic stress disorder

Survivor's guilt

Swearing

Withdrawal from drugs

* = Challenged, not between the MCs (Angel and Husk)

** = Explicit scenes are cis-MLM, and they are clearly signalled with dividers so that readers who might be uncomfortable reading them may skip them

REPRESENTATION & DIVERSITY

Ethnicities and race

Black character with vitiligo

Body diversity

Fat character

Developmental disabilities

ADHD - Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorder

Cri du chat syndrome

Dyslexia

Intellectual disability

Gender diversity

Non-binary characters

Sexual diversity

BDSM and kink positivity

Bisexuality

Bondage/shibari

Gay male MC

Pansexual male MC

Sex work positivity

[meiyokbf]

headcannon | manon x transmasc!reader

author's note: so so sorry for the delay, been busy working on under your spell and kinda forgot about the transmasc series, but already working on lara’s next so stay tuned! <3

warnings: pre transition!reader at the beginning, transmasc!reader, obvi. it kinda goes for both non-binary readers and transmen, too. hrt therapy & top surgery mentioned. nsfw at the end, MDNI.

🏷️: katseye, manon x reader, manon bannerman x reader, katseye x reader, katseye smut, manon smut, transmasc reader.

just like dani, girlie KNEW.

she had a slight gut feeling about it ever since she met you.

but when you came out to her.

ugh.

she would literally look at you like you hung the stars the moment you came out to her. no hesitation, no questions that made your stomach twist; just this slow, blooming smile that made you feel safe.

“that makes so much sense, baby… thank you for telling me.”

when you told her your name, she said it out loud like she was tasting it: soft and reverent.

“god, it suits you so much. i want to say it every day.”

immediately updated your name in her phone and added three hearts and the little 💥 emoji for flair.

also changed your contact photo to a random blurry selfie of you looking masc and confused.

“you look like a hot raccoon caught in the act. it’s perfect.”

you told her you were nervous about telling the rest of katseye and she went into camp counselor mode

“okay so we’re gonna plan this. i’m talking full powerpoint, snacks, safe space rules. or we just facetime them and see what happens. your choice.”

you ended up telling them over group facetime tho.

“my baby has something to say and i will literally mute everyone if i have to”

they were all so confused at first like “what do you mean boyfriend?? who???”

and manon just held up a little paper sign she made that said “🏳️‍⚧️ IT’S A BOY 💙” with glitter glue.

one of them (probably sophia) started crying. megan asked if they could still call you “bestie king.” while lara asked what your new skincare routine was because you looked “so glowy and masc now???”

manon sat there with her hand on your back the whole time, just rubbing slow circles and kissing your shoulder.

“you’re doing amazing. i’m so, so proud of you.”

her voice always lit up when she gendered you right.

“he said he’d pick me up later,” she’d casually tell dani, then grin like she’d won the lottery.

your pronouns rolled off her tongue like they’d always belonged to you.

her love language became learning how to love you right.

she would listen, ask gently.

and always, always wait for you to lead the way.

she would sit on the floor with you and help fold laundry, separating the clothes that didn’t feel like “you” anymore

“we’ll make space for the new you,” she would say. “you’re allowed to change. i’ll love every version.”

pookie would call you schätz* because you were indeed her treasure.

when you started binding, she helped you do it safely, but also nearly broke your ribs trying to “adjust it better” the first time.

“okay inhale. exhale. now STAND STILL I’M STRAPPING THE GENDER ON.”

and honeyyy.

and you started HRT, she filmed your first shot on her phone with little sparkly edits and the caption “my bf is growing facial hair and i’m so emotional wtf 🥹

also made memes out of your voice cracks and sent them to you.

“child this u?? 😭😭😭”

also made a playlist for your hormone journey called “balls incoming 🏆”

she made you listen to it every shot day. and yes, it had both eye of the tiger by survivor and macho man by village people.

during your top surgery consult, she brought a binder (pun intended) full of notes and a gel pen.

“i made a list of questions. also a backup list of questions. also a list of surgeons ranked by tiktok reviews.”

and after surgery? she was a full-time nurse graduated from 20 seasons of grey’s anatomy.

“you’re not allowed to lift anything heavier than 100 grams. so sit the fuck down. i’ll get your snack.”

cries while spoon-feeding you pudding and calling you the love of her life.

she would still brag to everyone tho.

“my boyfriend is not a waiter but he always serves, bitch.”

and anytime you felt unsure, quiet, dysphoric, or distant, she’d gently crawl next to you, holding you like you were her most precious possession in the world.

“you don’t have to be brave right now, härzli**… just be here with me. i’ve got you.”

*schätz: treasure.

**härzli: litte heart.

hehe.

manon is def a power bottom or a sub bottom, no in between.

and girlie is a sucker for dirty talking. or just talking in general.

she’s whimpery, praise-drunk, kinda dramatic with it.

“fuck, baby, how are you this good?”

“i need you inside me so bad it’s criminal…”

she’s obsessed with your voice when you’re turned on, especially after HRT.

it got raspier, deeper, growlier; she literally moans the second you say her name like that.

when you started using a packer or strap, she did a whole slideshow presentation titled “dick options for my hot boyfriend,” complete with cursed memes, diagrams, and one slide that just said “👀 give me the dick pls.”

pookie is devoted to foreplay.

she’ll spend hours kissing your scars, whispering how proud she is of you, sliding her hands under your binder like she’s touching something sacred.

“you’re everything i ever wanted. don’t even try to argue.”

if you are using a packer, she loves being on top, facing you, whining into your mouth as she sinks down onto it.

“oh my god. oh my god. you’re inside me, holy shit… you’re so fucking deep, baby…”

* if you’re not using a packer? oh she’s feral for it. she loves riding you while grinding against your thigh or stomach, whining in your ear,

“feels so good, baby, just like that—fuck, keep going—don’t stop, don’t stop—”

she loves being held down & manhandled by you, but also loves pretending she’s not into it.

has a high pain tolerance and a praise addiction. she wants you to spank the shit out of her until her thighs shake

when you say shit like “good girl. so fucking good. look at you… made for this.” she’ll whimper. eyes wet. hips grinding. no thoughts left.

when you call her “pretty girl” or “good girl,” she melts. like blushes instantly, hides her face in your neck, full-body trembles.

but the second you say, “my good girl takes it so well,” she’s gone. babbling, brain off, wet mess.

she makes jokes in the middle of sex sometimes, but you’ve learned it’s actually when she’s overwhelmed.

“is this how bella felt when edward broke the headboard?”

she calls you “sir” when she’s close. unprompted. breathless. like it slips out of her when her mind starts to go fuzzy.

“please, sir… please let me cum- i need it, i’ll be so good…”

to her aftercare is just as important and sexy as the sex itself.

she needs it soft and slow. bath drawn, body washed, forehead kisses. she’ll be quiet and floaty, arms wrapped around you while you whisper how proud you are.

also takes selfies the next morning with your hickeys on her neck and posts on her insta’s close friends.

“my bf rearranged my guts last night and now i crave soup 😩💘”