#thanks bestie this is gonna live rent free in my head from now on

[solarishashernoseinabook]

Okay. So. Long not-an-ask ask. Apologies. Might seem creepy(?) Weird(?) Unasked for(?) Trauma dumpy(?)No clue if this fits within normal social norms, but I had to go and tell you this, because I -need- you to know that you have meant the world to me and I feel like no thanks I could give you could ever be enough.

I'm sure you are aware by now that I am -quite- the fan of trr (solaris edition).

For the past 8 years of intense social issues, panick attacks and a whole other array of struggles, I have spent 7 of those thinking I might be autistic. I never dared do anything with it, part of a whole other trauma unrelated to this, but had the same struggles none the less. I tried not to research too much into autism, as I was deadly afraid of 'conforming to the diagnosis' because I was desperate to know why my life had crumbled the way it had.

For 7 years, I knew something was wrong, but could not, dared not, to get the help I needed.

March 14 I read your trr for the first time.

March 15 I had the biggest breakdown I had in a while, crying and crying reading 'Halt does research' where I read Halts flashback, and saw myself in my youth in a way I had never before.

I can't find the exact chapter/date for this one, but there were some bits where Crowley was kind and considerate and patient with Halt, and I cried and cried again. Knowing this is how I wanted to be treated, and what impact it would've had on my growing up if this had been given to me.

The first time around trr -wrecked- me, nor only on a story level, but on a deep and personal level. It made me see things I already suspected, knew, even, but pushed deep down out of an immeasurable fear of what it would mean.

I re-read trr 3-4 times (sometimes without comment spamming) between march 14 and october 8th.

October 8th I had my intake conversation at a diagnostic centre.

The strength and healing I pulled from your trr got me in that room. Your trr showed me who I had been, seeing me in a way that no story had ever seen me, and showing me what could be, too. The way I deserve to be treated and loved in a much more concrete manner than anything ever could.

Now, poetically enough, march again, the 17th, I got diagnosed. Autistic, with a higher need in social stuff and task-doing. I was just as I -should- be. Not broken, not imperfect, just wired differently. Due to planning issues, I have not yet received my official report, all I had this past week was a single stressfull conversation and my brain trying to convince me I heard it all wrong. (I did not)

I am so used to keeping myself together with glue and smiles, that I have not yet been able to process the impact of what this means. Not fully, at least.

But in march I read your trr. And I saw your Halt. And I saw me. And I cried in mourning and desperation. And in march, I read your Crowley, and I saw my options, my truth and what could be.

I spend so many words writing this (I am so sorry) and yet they don't feel enough. You have given me something I never could on my own, and I could never express to you what that means. I just. I needed you to know the impact you have had. The help I will now get because you chose to write a grumpy guy in a way that mattered.

Thank you. With every fiber of my being. Thank you.

Well, first things first: Congratulations are in order! Maybe you don't have the paper yet, but you're one of us - officially! Get a warm drink, a favourite treat, and have a you night with your cat

But on a more personal note: this ask also means a lot to me for reasons that would be extremely rambly if I explained them in full. I'm gonna try anyway.

I first started to suspect I was autistic when I was fifteen. I began to seriously suspect it, and make accommodations for myself as if I was autistic, when I was twenty-eight. I had a friend with ADHD whose brother had ADHD and autism, and through conversations with her about what her brother was like (I knew her through school, and hadn't met her brother in person), I grew more confident about being autistic...but still not fully confident. See, the way my 'tism works, I don't like to consider myself as anything unless I have incontrovertible proof of it. I was leery about eye contact, stimmed regularly, had to think about my facial expressions and tone of voice constantly, related to autistic people, hated too much sensory stimulation...but I didn't have proof. Feel free to laugh at me - I tease myself about this as well

Fast forward two years. I'm just preparing to publish the first chapter of The Royal Ranger. I'm nervous about it. I'd had the thought to make Halt autistic in it, but, well, I didn't have proof that I was autistic yet, did I? And I didn't have an autistic beta reader on the fic. So I gave myself an out. I clarified in the author's note that it was based on my own experience and not meant to be universal. I paid careful attention to how I felt so I could write Halt feeling the same way. Even in later chapters, when it came time to say what Halt saw when looking at people's faces, I had Caitlyn say it and framed it as a years-old conversation she was remembering. That way, if i was wrong, I had a cover

Things started to change before that though, on May 1st, 2022, when Angel made a post here on tumblr praising TRR. Having another autistic person openly say they related to Halt and loved his portrayal went a long way towards settling my mind. Angel started beta reading TRR, and when he never accused me of doing something completely wrong and off base, my mind settled further. I got better about saying I was autistic. And then other autistic people commented saying they related to Halt and saw themselves in him, and I realised that writing an allistic character was a lot harder than writing an autistic one because, oh yeah, they actually pick up on emotions, and all together the scales have tipped and we've hit my brain's standard of "incontrovertible proof"

So thank you for sending this in, and thanks for reading, and thanks for all the comments! I look forward to reread number six (I think we're on six now?) 😊

[faggot-friday]

So I’m late as shit for appreciation day but I figured the term ‘‘better late than never’’ can come in handy once again. Also now surprise! Unexpected compliments! I think that’s better than slightly-suspected ones tbh. The only good surprises.

First off, we’re going with @gay-otlc. Bro. Your writing. It slaps. It’s fucking awesome. Shoutout to all your tierden shit btw it lives in my head rent-free. All your writing’s funny as shit and also it makes me want to slam my fist into a wall in an affectionate sort of a way. If you like endless tears and angst that feels like a knife to the gut, totally recommend. There is also occasional fluff if you’re more into that sorta shit. This guy’s the full package honestly

And now @xanadaus. The organiser of this entire shabang. Your art makes me feel things and while brain won’t let me know what those things are I’m pretty sure they’re good things. Also, your writing is amazing as well. The best of both things. No I will not shut up about scar tissue it’s one of the best things I’ve ever read, comfort fic level 100. Yes i am rereading it now what are y’all gonna do about it

@bookwyrminspiration you’re on here as well. Hii. I haven’t read your writing but I’ve been meaning to i swear. I WILL read the wings au. Eventually. Also, your art is >>>. I literally cannot put into words how much I love your art so I’m just using math symbols instead. Those Linh drawings got made for the art challenge, godDAMN. Also you put up with my bullshit which is always appreciated so thanks for that :)

@when-wax-wings-melt your!!!!!!!!!!! fucking!!!!!!!!!!! fics!!!!!!!!!! Holy mcshitshow I love your fics so much. Like! All the repeating themes! And how lines are the same sometimes but have different meaning through context! Gagahevhagudgaugduagsus! I could get really into symbolism and shit but I’m not because it’s late and I’m tired and I probably wouldn’t understand half the shit I’m saying anyways. But! I would do a dissection under sterile conditions of all of your fics purely because they’re so fucking good and I want every piece of them in my brain cavities

@constant-sapphic-breakdown bestie!!! Your shit is fucking lit bro, and also <3 fren!!! Ik that birthday fic you wrote me isn’t kotlc but that doesn’t stop it from being good as shit, like bro, I am jealous of your talents. Literally everything you make is so fucking good, and you also put up with my bullshit which is amazing

I can’t word too great right now so these may seem kinda half-baked. As this post gets older you may wish to check the reblogs in case I add anyone who I only just thought of. Happy ten years of keeper everyone <3

[zee-has-commitment-issues]

Let me propose an idea that lives in my head rent free. Ok so August and Sara😤Majority of the fandom hate them but me..

Ok hear me out; both of them are so complex. When you really pay attention to August you can see that he’s really just lost. He tried talking about his dad with Wille when they’re both outside peeing but Wille ignores him going on about Erik(understandable, he literally just died) and at the parents day lunch when someone assumes his step dad is his dad he gets so defensive. He’s clearly not past his dad committing sewerslide, and possibly hasn’t even had the opportunity to really open up about it. I can’t even imagine what kind of a toll that would take on you and he probably has many different thoughts regarding it. (Guilt,anger, etc) That could be why he started using, I assume. His relationship with his mom clearly isn’t great, and Erik said that Hillerska is basically his entire life now. The combination of the drugs, and School being the only thing going for him makes it very reasonable why he’s so serious and amped up about everything. Especially being apart of the Royal family. Outside of those things he literally doesn’t think he has anything. It makes sense why his character would take it so seriously. Now the whole video thing, I don’t really want to get into that bc I’m really high and I’m already using all the braincells I have to compel this. He did that out of spite of Wille telling everyone he was broke. I think it hit something in him mentally which fused him to leak the video. That in no way justifies it whatsoever. Afterwards though, you can tell he’s guilty. In his little actions/body language, you can tell. He looks like a clown but you can tell. Ok here’s my idea tho I kinda just went into an August deep dive without meaning to.

I think he’s redeemable, not forgivable. I’ve watched so many series that go on for a good amount of seasons, where in the last season the most loved character was the most hated in the first one. It happens so often in storytelling. I have a theory that he is actually genuinely gonna fall for Sara. Sara may or may not reciprocate deep feelings, maybe just minor or wanting to be with someone. And rewatching season 1 there’s this scene in I think episode two where August was trying to get Felice to go on a date with him, and she is talking to Stella and Fredrika about it after. They’re talking about how bad August is as a guy and Fredrika says “Real love can actually change you” that kinda seemed like foreshadowing to me idk. I’m so intrigued by Sara and Augusts dynamic. At first it was confusing and kinda icky but after all the rewatches I started to maybe kind of get it. August needs to be heard. I really think that’s it. Sara listened to him when she confronts him, let’s him vent and say how he really feels. And after all of that, after knowing he did something terrible, she tells him how she feels and what she wants, and then kisses him. If I were August in that situation I would feel accepted, heard, and maybe even understood. And like wait you want to kiss me after I just admitted all that? Sara was the first person that we have seen actually listen to his thoughts. It would so make sense if he actually falls for her. He’s clearly intrigued by her before that scene also, as she’s different from other girls he’s been with or talked to. If we have a season 3 or more I wouldn’t be surprised at all if we see a huge arc for him. I don’t think Sara will be his main storyline in this arc, just to make myself clear. It will need to be with Wille. Wille and Simon, as they’re the ones he fucked over. I don’t know where Lisa and the writers are going with him but I wouldn’t be surprised at all if something like this happens with his storyline. Who fucking knows, but if I’m actually onto something I’m gonna eat that shit up. Ok thank you for your time❤️🤩

Ok, hi bestie. I like where your head is. I think a lot of the same, too. In fact, I was just telling people the other day that the reason August is such a good villain is because he's not one. He's just a superbly fucked up kid. He's nuanced. He's not completely bad and not evil. He's just incredibly fucked in the head and he's drowning.

I honestly cannot wait to see where they go with his character. It's bound to be interesting. As much as I hate him, I cannot stop thinking about August and all the different layers of his character.

I've actually had a couple of posts recently about this type of stuff, so I'm going to link them:

Is August redeemable.

my thoughts on Sara/August.

my thoughts on August's attachment issues.

Happy reading, anon.

[bi-bats]

18, 43, and 78 for the Fanfiction Writer Asks?

Oh my god Jpeg!!! Hi!!!! Thank you for the ask 💖💖💖 Sorry in advance for turning this into an essay but hopefully you enjoy it and thank you!!!!

18 - Do you enjoy research? Which fic of yours required the most research?

Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't, honestly. It tends to feel like homework sometimes, but I'm a huge reader and I love reading comics. It's just hard for me to find time between working full time and the D&D campaign I'm writing/DMing and the academic article I'm writing and being in a relationship and figuring out grad school/future stuff. Basically, I'm a really busy person but I just want to read and write fic all day 😭

As for which required the most research that I've already started posting, I'd have to say Know Yourself. I had to read Battle for the Cowl, and I still have to read Final Crisis (is that a spoiler? 👀). I basically did no research for Rooftops & Bookshops (I feel like it shows) but I did read quite a few summaries.

But the fic with the most research I will have to do is definitely the fic I'm going to talk about in the next question, for which I'll have to read Red Robin, Under the Red Hood and some of Tim's Robin run. Probably more, but it'll be worth it.

43 - Is there a trope or idea that you'd really like to write but haven't yet?

YES. So many. I want to write one bed and also time travel and also identity reveal (thank you jaytimweek for forcing me to do it providing me with the opportunity). I actually have two ideas for identity reveal, one of which will hopefully be up for jaytimweek. The other identity reveal is definitely going to be my next long fic. I already know it'll be near 100k words and I PROMISED myself I wouldn't start working on it until Know Yourself is fully posted except for the epilogue (so a few months 😭). The identity reveal longfic is also going to be a soulmates fic 😈 and I think it might technically not be a love square but also it sort of will be? OKAY IF I SAY ANYTHING ELSE ABOUT IT IM GONNA SPOIL SOMETHING NEXT QUESTION

78 - What motivates you during the writing process?

Honestly, I feel sort of shitty being like "people's reactions," because I shouldn't base my worth as a writer on how many kudos/comments I get, etc., etc., and no one reading this should feel any pressure to comment if they don't want to, but when I get to see how someone reacted to my work??? OH that's the stuff.

I tend to be my own worst critic with everything, but especially my own writing, so every time I see a new comment, I have the urge to run to my computer and write. I basically get high off comments, especially when it's from authors I love to read!!! (@ you jpeg. Detective Timothy Drake and the Mysterious Case of the Unclaimed Dildo lives in my head rent free. That fic is a masterpiece.) There's just something about knowing that a writer I love enjoys my work. It really makes me feel confident in my writing, which makes me want to write more.

Also serial commenters!! I'm looking forward to what you think of every new chapter. Also people who just comment ahsjslakhdslkab or second kudos or a heart emoji. And people who post those really long comments theorizing or asking questions or copy/pasting quotes with their reactions??? My favorite. Satisfies the desire I have to watch everyone read my work so I can see them react to it.

Basically, knowing that people are enjoying what I write and want to read more is honestly the biggest motivator for me, which is why I tend to post chaptered stuff. I need the push to keep going, or else my piece would rot in my drafts (like some of my unposted works that I'll resuscitate one day)

Also if anyone reading this has ever commented on one of my fics, just know I think we're besties now. Come say hi. Even if you haven't commented and just want to motivate me to write more! Come say hi!

[toburnup]

SO. JUST FINISHED READING CH 4 AND.

ok first actually this is literally so good this whole fic is so so good and has been living rent free in my head since august 25th ok i literally think about it a minimum of 3 times per day and thats a very conservative guesstimate. ok.

BUT. BESTIE. IM UNWELL. (please forgive this outrageous outpouring of emotions in ur ask id comment on ao3 but i forgot my password and can't be bothered to fix it rn)

"There are more stars out, and the moon is bright." THERE ARE STARS OUT TONIGHT AND HE CAN SEE THEM PLEASE STOP IM ON THE FLOOR.

"Steve already knows and his stomach fills with those butterflies he's still trying to get used to." butterflies to get USED TO I AM BEGGING FOR MERCY

""What are you so afraid of?" Steve asks, holding him there, so he can't run away from this. Eddie's voice is soft, serious. Earnest. "You."" literally just kill me rn it would hurt less.

the kiss the kiss the kiss tHE KISS THE KISS THE KISS THE KISS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

also thank fUCK these morons are finally starting to TALK TO EACH OTHER GOOD GOD

i have perished this is so exquisite the pinING the MORONIC but so relatable desire to not look/feel vulnerable. bOTH making comments that just end up living rent free in the others head. the unfoRTUNATE TIMING WITH THE DAMN TEXTS. i-. im gonna stop myself right here. but. i love this fic so much. thank u thank u thank u for writing this 😭💕😭💕

ALKSDAJLSKD i'm so glad you're enjoying it. this was like. VERY NICE TO READ 💙 😭😭 like you just popping over here to make my day?? pls do.

okok but to speak to the points you liked!! (which, ty for including, i love hearing about what stood out) i'm gonna pop them under a read more cause it got a bit long. I GUESS I HAVE A LOT TO SAY 💙

steve looking out at the stars!! big sky! big feelings!!! he's stepping out onto the balcony and is opening himself up to it. he has a big heart, he's just bad at using it sometimes.

the butterflies!! honestly, it was so fun to see steve is like. acknowledging he has a Thing for eddie and it's not just about him wanting physical closeness (chapter 2 steve would've been like ? this isn't butterflies, this must be indigestion). and he's like OK I ACCEPT. reluctantly, and a bit sadly, but he accepts it!!

but on the flip side, acknowledging that he has feelings means it's real now, and steve is impulsive and likes to have confirmation so :) :) he went and tried to get it, haha. and didn't that go well.

steve is someone who has no problem admitting what he fears - probably because everything has sort of 'worked out' in that regard so far - but what he loves, on the other hand?? terrifying to admit in the circumstances that it might not be reciprocated. also, i think the nancy breakup is always going to be a big turning point in steve's life cause it's like the MOST stable thing suddenly crumbling.

all that to say, steve doesn't see revealing that he's scared as a big deal quite like eddie does. so eddie saying steve is who he's afraid of - to his face - is like. ultimate vulnerability. he wouldn't tell steve he was afraid of him (or afraid of steve breaking his heart 😌😌) if he didn't trust him. steve doesn't see it that way tho. steve's worst fear is being feared lol.

annnnnnd the kiss 😌😌😌 with so much buildup, i was like. yikes. i hope this goes over okay. but then the plot did its thing and turns out it's just another step on the way there, 'cause at the end of the day, the no-kiss thing is just a piece of a bigger issue here.

anyway, ty for sending this very sweet message 💙 i hope you enjoy chapter 5!! should be up this week.

[onsunnyside]

Concept thought for CL:

It’s mid-semester reading week and Steve goes home for the break. Reader is excited to finally get a reprieve from him. Until midway through the week they go into heat. They try to push through it cause they’ve never needed an alpha before and they sure as heck aren’t gonna start now. But to their utter disappointment their hindbrain has become too attached to Steve and they find themselves sneaking across the road to the frat house. They leave their phone behind cause it is meant to be a quick trip just to steal a couple shirts to bring back to their nest. Luckily they encounter no one as they sprint through the house, knowing encountering alphas while in heat would be bad news. But once they reach Steve’s room they’re too overwhelmed by his scent to leave and basically set up camp in his room. They have enough wherewithal to push as much furniture in front of the door as they can to keep the other alphas out. By the time Steve gets back to campus he is pissed cause you haven’t responded to his texts in two days so he storms into the sorority before going home with the intent to teach you a lesson about ignoring him, but no one knows where you are. So begrudgingly he heads back over to the frat only to find all of his brothers hanging out around his bedroom door pounding on it. He asks them what the f they are doing and then he smells the reader. He shoves a couple of his brothers and growls letting them know they better get out of there if they value their lives, that’s his omega in heat in there. Once they are gone he goes to walk in, but is met with resistance (cause his entire set of furniture is blocking the door at this point and you lined it up just so it’s all touching to reach the other wall so he’s essentially pushing against the wall). So he calls out to you and upon hearing him you start moving the stuff cause at this point you are in too much of a heat haze and surrounded by his scent you couldn’t care less that you hate him. Once you open the door he looks at all the furniture that you haphazardly pushed out of the way, he hears you mumble that you had to block the door cause his brothers aren’t your alpha. It’s the first time you’ve said anything remotely acknowledging him as your alpha without intense manipulation from him and he’s torn between feeling smug and still being mad that you weren’t answering him the past couple days. He then decides he’s also mad that you didn’t tell him you were in heat and that you put yourself in the frat house where any number of his brothers could have been tempted into stealing what he was his. So time for your alpha to punish you, while also dealing with your heat. you’ll know better to call him next time you’re in heat.

Sorry that was long, it popped into my head this morning and won’t leave so I thought I’d share lol.

I’m so excited for all the upcoming Howard college stories, they live rent free in my head 24/7

AHH IT IS OFFICIAL—SOMETHING LIKE THIS WILL HAPPEN !! I ALREADY HAVE MANY THOTS, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS BESTIE !!

[witchofinterest]

It’s my birthday! well, i’m making this post in advance, but i’m gonna post it on my birthday! i haven’t liked my birthday in years, but i love you all, so let’s talk about it!!! okays, it’s today! god, i love you all so much, and you’ve all given me a real sense of belonging and i wanna say thank you again! and if i somehow missed you, know i love you too, i just have a bad memory.

@foxesandmagic hey birthday twin!! yiu have lovely and you are so so nice i love any chance to converse with you!

@twinmasks you were the first person i was really friends with on here, and a big part of me feeling welcome in the community and i think you should know that! also, you are just so cool and talented, and i am always in awe of everything you say and make!

@nolanhollogay water sign besties! i adore you, it feels like we’ve been friends for 20 years allready! i hope we are friends for a lot longer, also you are one of the best people i know, and i want you to know that!!!!

@luucypevensie grace you are the sweetest girl ever!!!!!! ever!!!! you are sunshine in human form!! i love you so much!!! 💛💛💛

@whindsor hey nich!!!! i love you so much, you’re an excellent and amazing friend, and i adore you beyond words!!! god, i love you so much and i am so so proud of you, from your consistent updates to finishing your story!!!!! you put so much into life, and yiu deserve nothing but the best back!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

@kazinejghafa keke my beloved!!!! you are like, a real life disney princess! i mean, birds should follow you around if they allready don’t! i love you! you always make me feel like: ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💛💚❤️💛💙💛❤️🧡💛💚💚🧡🧡🧡🧡❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

@ocfairygodmother you absolutely live up to your name! you are the backbone of this community and i couldn’t be more grateful to have you as a friend!!!

@anotherunreadblog you are the mutual!!! you are so nice, sweet, cool, talented, cultured, and i could keep going on forever! love you!! 💙

@darknightfrombeyond you are the cool, slightly intimidating because their so good, mutual!!! you are also one of my sweetest mutuals, with the coolest updates! you’ve got it all! love you! ^ _ ^

@water-writings hey mel!!!!! you are so sweet and supportive to everyone and your are so talented too and i love you!! and i am so happy your at a better job now!!!!! 💙

@elenapetrova hey tessa!!! god, we’ve been friends for so long now! this is the second birthday i’ve been your friend and i hope many more to come!!! you are so strong and so good and so so amazing!!! i love you a lot and i hope you know that!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

@taylorswiftrulestheworld heather! we just started talking, but your really sweet and talented and i had to include you!!

@perhapspearl pearl!! hello friend!!! i love whenever you rb things, and wow your writing is so good, regardless of whether it’s for your wonderful ocs or canon! and you have a gift for gifs too!! you are wonderful and talented!!

@richitozier hey mara!!!! you are so cool and you have such good taste in like, everything, and you are so fun to interact with!!!! love you!! ❤️

@lizziesxltzmxn hey Ali!!!!! you are a beloved mutual and i love talking to you and i love when you update about the things your watching/reading/etc, bc i always love to hear your thoughts on things!!!!

@starcrossedjedis hey sara!!!!!!! you are one of my favorite people ever, and even if your going through a rough time right now, your still the best, and ill always believe in you! love you a lot!!

@aceyanaheim hey acey!!!! you have the coolest ideas and i am so excited whenever i see you in my notifications and on my dash!!!! i love you!!!

@wokenhardies hey Siobhan!!! taking with you is a treasure!!!!! in fact, your a treasure!!!! i love you a lot!!!

@squirrelstone Squirrel!!! my cherished friend!!! i love you and all of your creations so so much!!!!!!! also, you are just the best!!!!!! this site wouldn’t be the same without you in it and i am so glad your here!!!

@alghulnyssa hello Flop! you probably didn’t know many others on this list, but we’re buddies and i wanted to put you here! you have the best taste in so many things! and the prettiest edits!!! your last nyssa one lives rent free in my head! and you are part of the reason i made this blog! also, i am gonna to try to be on instagram more, im sorry.

@randomestfandoms-ocs hey maddie!!! ah, you are such a good friend and i love you so much!!!!!!!!!!! you are the sweetest and super talented!!! ❤️❤️💖💖💖💜💜💜💜💜

@iron-parkr hey Rory!!!!! i am super proud of you and how you handle all your responsibilities!!! all of your stories you have out are so good and i love them all! and even more, i love you!!!!

@myoc-eansmind hey sof!!!!!!!! we haven’t been friends for too long, but you are such a good one and i love you!!!! also, you are just the sweetest!

@nightwingshero hey jodeci!!!!! your writing is so so good!!!! and i love your ocs, they have such cool and unique storylines!!! also, you are so nice and cool!!!!!!! :)

@ceruleanmusings mack!!!!! hello friend!!!!! i swear, reading anything you write is an absolute privilege i’m glad you allow!!! also, talking to yiu is always a highlight of my day!!! 💙💙💙

@raging-violets hey Ri!! Hey Rhu!!! god i love you both so so much!!!!!! from bonding over to shared interests to learning about things like narnia! being your friend is so so good!!! riley i admire your confidence in life! rhuben i admire your ability to never give up! and i love both of you so much!!!

@ben-bcrnes hey becca!!! you are so passionate about so many things and i love seeing you on my dash!!! ❤️❤️❤️

@stanshollaand hey!!! your blog and your ocs are so so cool, and even there only half as cool as you are!!! i hope to interact more in the future bc your awesome!!!

@cecesxwickedxocs hey cece!!! you are one of the most creative people i know!!!!!!! also, i love hearing about how your days going and your interests!!!

@fiercefray rachel my beloved!!!! i love you so so much!!!!!! you always come up with the coolest stuff for your ocs, and you have so many awesome interests!!!! and behind that, i just really love you a lot!!!!

@inkoutsidethelines ink!!!! hey buddy!!!!!!!!!!! you are so so amazing!!!! i love learning about you and your ocs and i hope to more!!!!

@padmeisqueen aaron!!!!!! we don’t talk a lot and i hope to change that, but from what i know you are super sweet and nice and make the prettiest aesthetics!!!!!

@the-october-reviewer hey ash!!! it’s been a minute, but if course you’d be on this post!!!! we’ve been friends for about 2 years now, if i’ve done my math correctly, and it’s been amazing!!!!! i love you so much, and i always love hearing about what’s caught your eye!

@pock-galliard sairaid!!! you are so cool and i love seeing all your posts on my dash!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@codenamekryptonite V!!!!! hey, love. it’s been a minute since we’ve talked, but i love you so so much, so i had to our you in this post!!!!!! you are such a good person and i love you and your ideas so so much!!!!! 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

@superspookyjanelle hey janelle!!! you put out so much quality content and i admire you so much for it!!!!

@ofbadcharacters hey gabbie!! idk if you still check your blog, but i love and miss you, and you made me feel so welcome last year, i had to include you in this post!! you are such a good friend and i really miss you! love you! ❤️

@phoebestarks hey phia!!!!!! you have the best, super intricate plots and i am constantly in awe!!!! also, you are so nice to converse with!!!

@whctsherncme-archive hey madi! you de-activated, bir i love you and you belong on this list!!!! you were such a good friend with the best ideas and i miss talking to you, and you, so much!

@mystic-scripture gwen!!!! it’s been a minute since we’ve talked, but we’re friends!!!!! i love you and your ocs so much! you always knock it out of the park from the mcgrath clan to alex!!!!! your so good!!!!

@avengiers hey ari!!!!!!!! you are so so cool, and everything you make is so so pretty, and i just wanted to tell you that!

@shanaoharas hey dylan! you stopped using this account, but i wanted to include this bc we were good friends! and i have been meaning to catch up on your excellent stories! love you a lot!!!!

@cassercole hey lizzie, you are no longer with us, but i didn’t manage to make this post when you were like i meant to, so I wanted to add you. you were the first oc creator i followed (first account, actually) and you always made me so welcome in everything! you introduced me to so many things i love and i really miss you.

[ohcaptains]

i am gonna need you to make another fic like two am automatic. that fic lives in my head rent free always. changed my life truly. i need more frank fics from you!!!! <3

bestie i knooowwww😩😩😩😩 i have one i’m working on now but i’m trying to not rush cause then i’ll hate writing it. thank u sm baby<333333

[cattles-bians]

'our exes are dating' damie AU part 2

post directory

em: jamies like, sitting w her head in her hands wearing big stompy boots and flannel going god dani our exes are dating. we’re Stereotypes (danis like well. i will hold my tongue about the outfit but technically their exes are also dating)

obsetress: "what about my outfit?" "nothing baby, you look very cute”

obsetress: ok but dani and jamie finding out rebecca and vi are dating and jamie's immediately calling owen like "mate."

em: i am so thinking of making the bly manor au version of The Chart from the l word

em: owens like who haven’t u dated at this point n jamies like oi (quietly) u know i get nervous around girls

em: owen we can’t ALL be Married to hannah grose

obsetress: jamie can't stand vi most of the time like you said but she definitely had a drunken one night stand with perdita

obsetress: they were both young and lonely and had something to prove

obsetress: ok but imagine vi and rebecca are having some holiday party at their fancy ass apartment and dani and jamie are showing up and perdita is there and viola's like "dani, you remember my sister. jamie, this is–– jamie? perdi? are you okay?”

obsetress: perdita pulling vi aside later and hissing "that's her! that... jamie, that's her" "who?" "that... that girl i told you about, vi, the one who––" "the one who insisted on buying you breakfast but then never called you back?" “yes"

em: jamie......

obsetress: she wants to be so nice and so soft but then…

obsetress: also they stayed over at perdi's and she was sober enough the next morning to realize what a trust fund baby flat looks like

em: jamie viola acquaintances to enemies to. nope still enemies

jamie: dunno what the fuss was about. not like i stole anything

dani: sorry what

dani: why would you even think... did you?

jamie: what? don’t be ridiculous.

jamie: i cut that shit out years ago

obsetress: in vi and rebecca's lavishly furnished guest bedroom later that night…

dani, whispering: we could, you know

jamie, half asleep next to her: wot

dani: steal something. they wouldn't miss it

jamie: dani, we can't just––

dani: that print over there is nice though, isn't it?

dani: would look nicer at ours

em: the most illegal thing dani has done is smoke a joint so she’s READY

obsetress: she is ITCHING obsetress: anyway they absolutely take it and the next time vi and rebecca come to theirs for "a quaint, country weekend" viola doesn't even notice, but rebecca squints at it for a minute

em: sjhfjsh,afasf

obsetress: be gay, do crime -dani clayton, probably

obsetress: new crack headcanon: dani always trying to rope jamie into doing benign little gay crimes with her

obsetress: smoking a joint, stealing vi and rebecca's print, stealing owen's veggies

em: jamies like babe u know i’ve. been to prison right. i don’t really want to- and danis like no i only mean SMALL crimes

em: Funny Crimes

em: jamies like oh well actually i love fucking with viola i’m in

obsetress: the only thing that could convince jamie

obsetress: jamie's like "what if we replace viola's green tea with that silly detox green tea" and dani is just like

obsetress: "i see you trying and i love you so much for that"

em: i am wheezing at ‘what if we gave viola laxatives’

dani: she has a delicate constitution she’d know Immediately

jamie: (eating some suspiciously old leftovers) rich people are fucked

em: jamie: i’m gonna rearrange her books

obsetress: dani visibly cringes

obsetress: ”don't tell me that's gonna bother you too" "i–– nO"

em: full on greenhouse scene pphht. no?!

obsetress: flashback to: dani and viola rearranging her library for fun on a rainy day

em: jamie: i’m gonna buy cleanskin wine and put expensive labels on it

dani: now THATS funny

obsetress: full on jamie taylor bootlegging operation

[later edit: cleanskin wine is an Australian/New Zealand term for cheap unlabelled wine.]

obsetress: jamie: look, dani, you went from bootlicker to bootlegger

dani: hey!

em: relabelling garbage wine for fun and profit

em: viola does that wine sniffing thing and she’s like mm. do i detect some notes of willow. a lovely cultivar and damie are trying. so hard not to lose it

obsetress: rebecca side eying the two of them

obsetress: what is friendship if not just exes fucking with each other

em: so true bestie

obsetress: omg final thought before i ptfo on the book rearranging

obsetress: when they were together dani def suggested to vi that she organize her shelves by color and viola just stared at her in horror

obsetress: ”i know americans are illiterate dani, but really?" "and i know the british are notorious snobs, but seriously?"

obsetress: (it is not as toxic as it sounds. they're mostly just snarking at each other and end up kissing against a bookcase like half a minute later)

obsetress: and just. imagine how happy viola is when rebecca moves in with her massive collection of russian poetry volumes and automatically just starts slotting them in in alphabetical order by author's last name

obsetress: vs. at dani and jamie's where jamie just leaves books where she leaves them and lets dani take care of the rest

em: at mike don’t worry we will meaningfully flesh out ur side characters

audacity: anyway I'm slipping away from work for 1 minute to say leftist jamie and liberal vi still lives in my head rent fucking free thanks to y'all because it's literally—

audacity: i am kindly asking it to stay In My Head

em: ‘liberal vs leftist ding ding ding round one fight’ has been RUNNING around my head

em: viola saying landlords provide a valuable service wrt housing and resources and dani has to HOLD jamie back

audacity: vi: capitalism is an important aspect of our society since it provides much-needed inspiration for the working class—

obsetress: five times jamie and viola got into a fight at their standing damvibecca biweekly dinner and one time they didn’t

---[bonus:]---

em: i wanna believe jamie and viola realise they both have an incredibly niche interest in common, and jamie HATES this (violas like oh ho ho i have charmed this jamie taylor, she absolutely has not) but i can’t figure out what the fuck the interest would be

em: maybe maybe some intersection of storytelling and folklore and ghost stories but i cannot figure it out

obsetress: jamie hates it but suddenly she’s been talking to viola about rural hauntings in northern england and viola’s been talking to her about rural hauntings in southern england and two hours have gone by

em: dani: it’s nice to see you guys get along :)

jamie: ……… >:/

[moonslust]

Thank you so much @killerqueenlux for tagging me <33333, I haven't even started but I can tell this is gonna be almost empty cause I know nothing about me.

MUSIC

fav genre? *screams into the void*

fav artist? Queen but also way too many people

fav song? White queen live at Hammersmith 1975 <3

most listened song recently? Live forever by Oasis

song currently stuck in your head? Howdown Aldi Death Queue by Sam Fender

5 fav lyrics Oh my god I have no idea...this would take me a lifetime

Radio or your own playlist | solo artists or bands | pop or indie | loud or silent volume I slow or fast songs | music video or lyrics video | speakers or headset | riding a bus in silence or while listening to music | driving in silence or with radio on

BOOKS

fav book genre? fuck...I barely read I don't even know what the genres are,,,,,,I hate this

fav writer? ????????? I'm just gonna say Oscar Wilde because I saw a statue of him once in Ireland which was pretty cool (ok I know some quotes but I still have to start reading his books)

fav book series? Casi Angeles counts??

comfort book? my diary but also this fic by beautyandbravery called "falling into your ocean eyes". I think of that fic whenever I'm sad sigh

perfect book to read on a rainy day? Larry fanfics

fav characters? Larry? This sucks.

5 quotes from your fav books that you know by heart?

Ok so these are from instagram :) I haven't read all the books but I know these quotes by heart.

- "Le temps d'apprendre à vivre il est déjà trop tard" which means "by the time we learn to live, it's already too late".

- "I don't know, poets are always taking the weather so personally. They're always sticking their emotions in things that have no emotions".

- "Eppure c'è una gioia, una gioia benedetta, una consolazione, proprio nel dolore" which means "and yet there's a joy, a blessed joy, a consolation, right in the pain".

- "No era una serpiente. Era yo, tal y como soy ahora. Las serpientes no hablan" which means "I wasn't a snake. I was me, just as I am now. Snakes don't talk". This is from a spanish fic called "Dancing with the devil", where Louis is the devil and falls in love with Harry...*sighs* I adored it so much I bought a physical copy of it.

- "The desire to be loved is the last illusion. Give it up and you'll be free"...so true bestie.

hardcover or paperback | buy or rent | standalone novels or book series | ebook or physical copy | reading at night or during the day | reading at home or in nature | listening to music while reading or reading in silence | reading in order or reading the ending first | reliable or unreliable narrator what does this mean? | realism or fantasy | one or multiple POVS | judging by the covers or by the summary | rereading or reading just once

TV AND MOVIES

fav tv/movie genre? Rom-coms? But also Horror or Crime and mistery

fav movie? oof, tough one, I'd say...Alice in Wonderland

comfort movie? Rapunzel but Luca just made it to the list too

movie you watch every year? It's gotta be an Adam Sandler one

fav tv show? Friends, is it a tv show? Man I don't know shit...

comfort tv show? Friends

most rewatched tv show? Friends

ultimate otp? Rapunzel and Eugene

5 fav characters? my head is burning from thinking I'm sorry, I basically do things and forget all about them in life.

tv shows or movies | short seasons (8-13 episodes) or full seasons (22 episodes or more) | one episode a week or binging | one season or multiple seasons | one part or saga | half hour or one hour long episodes | subtitles on or off | rewatching or watching just once | downloads or watches online

I tag whoever wants to do this :)

[eunoiastarz]

more bloodboyfriends stuff for when you wake up from your nap <3

We have not discussed how Anna fits into this au, which is an actual crime. So, I raise you: after Michael runs away with Adam, another tyrant takes over the MoL (I was thinking someone like Zachariah or Metatron or Malachi, but that's not important rn). After that, Anna and Hester work to stage a coup and take over the MoL. I think there'd be some tension between them bc they both have differing motivations (Anna wanting to turn the MoL into a good and happy place, while Hester mostly just wants to be on top so she can't get hurt again), but they do have the same goal of getting rid of the MoL Tyrant Leader.

If you had something else in mind already or just don't vibe with that, that's cool too <3

ooo okay so I did have something else in mind that I thought of a few nights okay. lets see if I can word this:

I was thinking about applying the season 7 godstiel massacre to the cult. It’d make sense in the context of it being indirectly because of cas. of course, in actuality, it’d be executed by demons in this au, but cas’ actions (ie averting the apocalypse/ fighting against azazel) were why it happened. he was able to get balthazar back, so this was how they decided to hit him. not to mention that these were good hunters, people cas could recruit on his side. it wouldn’t be worth all the problems they’d cause to let them live. demons don’t care if they’re innocents.

in this au I always saw anna as brady because despite how far it’s diverged this was originally just a reverse au. I could definitely also see her as another escapee, one before cas, but after lucifer and gabe. her and cas might meet later in life during a hunt (post swan song), but if you want it to be darker she could’ve been someone used against cas by lucifer and/or possessed by a demon at their reunion.

I’m definitely vibing with your idea too though. not gonna lie the hester part HURT. but this would definitely be a good ending for the group. cas and gabe could actually visit the family they grew up with. anna is also so much smarter than sam and dean so she’d 100% educate people on the supernatural and how they could protect themselves. hot girl behavior and all that <3 I vote zachariah for the tyrant just because his milf line lives absolutely rent free in my head. one of thee greatest villains.

ily thank you for the ask as always bestie <3 love annoying our small corner of tumblr together <3

a voicemail from hester I wrote for this au because it randomly popped in my head on the 9th (post massacre):

[castiel. It’s um… it’s hester. our family- the cult? I don’t know. we lost… so much. we’ve been dismembered for awhile now. I just found the letter you left. ha, michael never gave it to me. surprise-surprise. yeah. I still hate your guts for leaving me- us. inias- he isn’t around anymore… and samie- I don’t… we got separated. I tried cas, I really did, but it was a run out and I’m not even sure who made it. I- I think I saw anael get out? that is if you even still care about her. demons. something to do with you and- and maybe gabriel too? are you with him? oh right, I called cause I need you come pick me up. I don’t have a place to stay and uh- you know what? This is my last resort. please. you owe me this at least. I don’t care if you drop me off or whatever. my tracker is on so. yeah. just- you know. bye.]

[erenoir]

Bestie, this is going to be a long paragraph, so I'm so, so sorry but crybaby has been one of my recent hyper fixations and I just need to write an essay about it.

Okay, so, I just want to say that prequel crybaby lives free rent in my head, and my heart just bursts into pieces whenever I think of them. I imagine their love to be the kind of thing you see in movies—the rare kind of love you could only see in a life time. It was just so pure with utmost love and adoration towards each other. Its crazy to think of they found their person, their partner in crime, at such a young age. They were so supportive and passionate towards each other; one would constantly push each other to do their best because of how well they understood each other.

I could just imagine how freeing their love felt? Like the rush always portrayed in coming of age movies where the main character runs down the empty street at twilight, thinking that they had the power to conquer the world. They were so young and starry-eyed, and they had their whole lives ahead of them. They were so free to dream, yet they were always included in each other's plans.

Eren would achieve his dreams of being a Rockstar one day. They'd tour the world together and do whatever crazy thing is on their bucket list. But for now, eren would stick to creating melodies and lyrics in hopes that he could preserve what they felt and where they were at the time, so they could come back and reminisce on it when their older.

They were just so *sighhh*. These kids deserve the world man. A part of me still roots for them, that they'd get the happy ending they always wanted. Even if they don't end up together, I think a part of them will always love each other. Just a small piece of them tucked away in the deepest corner of their heart. That bittersweet feeling of nostalgia that would creep on them in the late-hours of midnight or whenever they'd hear their old favorite song.

I love to associate songs (most specifically taylor swift songs bc I feel like she has a song written for every ship) with stories, and songs that I think capture this young love would be "Long Live", "Sparks Fly", "Everything has Changed", "Treacherous", and "Red". My brain immediately thinks on these two and I feel like my heart has been trampled over by a truck.

Anyways, what I mean to say is that you're writing and characterization is absolutely amazing. Crybaby has me by the neck and I still haven't recovered. Hope you have a nice day/night/afternoon! 💛✨

oh my god… oh my god… i just had the time to read this in full and digest it and i don’t know i get kind of emo(tional) when i see one of you guys speak so passionately about the story. the way you compared their falling in love to a coming of age movie i could cry… like really i want to come back to this ask and read it over and over because your words mean so much to me and the way you speak about the story so beautifully?? it makes me feel like i wrote something special you know? and the fact that you haven’t been able to stop thinking about it, it just reminds me how many amazing ppl i have backing it up. also… as for miss. taylor,,, taylor has written the soundtrack to every possible romantic plot ever she is a genius!! she captures all kinds of love so well and it’s so real and relatable bc she speaks from experiences and she writes her own lyrics those songs capture their young love so well i’m- SPARKS FLY?? you’re kidding that’s like when they kissed on prom night get out! anyways this is now me rambling abt how much i love taylor so i’m gonna stop myself.

thank you for this message… seriously it means a lot to me. put a smile on my face!! come back and send beautiful essays like this whenever <3

[inkatheart-fandom]

Ranty Plot #001(B)

You can find Part 1 Here.

Modern AU where Geralt, Jaskier, and Yen are in a poly relationship. But what about the other characters? Well, prepare for Lambert’s piece of Modern AU.

Fandom: The Witcher

Ship: Lambert/Aiden

Tags: Emotional Constipation, Stubborn Boys, Friends to Lovers, Lambert is a Good Friend, Happy Ending, Some Homophobic Language (Aiden is an ass).

Geralt dropped out of High School his Jr. year. He was getting mediocre grades and had no desire to do much outside of school that he wasn't already doing. He was a simple man with simple pleasures. He liked working on the ranch and loved the horses and had 0 desire for higher education. Vesemir tried to encourage him to at least finish High School but it just wasn't gonna be. 

 Eskel graduated with a 3.9 GPA. He was on the water polo team and got a full-ride scholarship. However, he instead decided to go serve in the military after High School. Joined the Marines as a Linguist. Later became a part of MARSOC. He served for 8 years before he suffered a major injury. He was going to recover, but took the honorable medical discharge so he could return home.

LAMBERT. Lambert always struggled with school. As a kid he was never enrolled in school, so he missed out on Pre k-4th grade. He also had dyslexia, so by the time he did get enrolled he was way far behind and struggled hard. 

Vesemir spent a lot of time trying to get Lambert the help he needed. Eskel helped whenever/wherever he could before he went away.

But during Lambert's Sophomore year he met Aiden who was a year ahead of him. Lambert hadn't made many friends outside of his brothers, and most other kids thought he was too loud/aggressive/mean looking. He and Aiden though, there was something there. They got to be thick as thieves lightning fast, but Lambert was the only one happy about it.

Aiden also came from a fucked up home, but unlike Lambert he didn't get some guardian angel to come rescue him. So there was quite a bit of jealousy there on Aiden's part, and he made sure to put Lambert down about it whenever he could. 

Aiden and Lambert got into a lot of trouble together though. They were quick to jump into fights, started messing with drugs and alcohol, and by Aiden's Senior year he had been in and out of Juvie several times. But no amount of trying to convince Lambert was going to break his bond with his bestie. So all Vesemir and Geralt could do was watch and step in whenever they had the opportunity.

Shortly after Aiden turned 18, he ran away from home for good. He packed a bag and showed up on Vesemir's doorstep at 3am. He told Lambert to come with him, they were going to get the hell out of their shitty little podunk town and go make some names for themselves. 

Lambert was beyond temped, and in reality he just wanted to keep his friend from getting in trouble. But he knew that he couldn't just leave behind his life and family here and he begged Aiden to stay. They could work something out with Vesemir, hell Lambert offered to drop out of school and get a job so they could split rent on an apartment together.

Aiden called Lambert a coward, mocked him for being soft for being a surrogate kid to some creepy old man. He said that he and Lambert were closer than Lambert and his 'fake family.' When none of his cajoling worked, he finally left with a few more scathing remarks.

Geralt had heard it all though, ready to step in and stop Lambert from making the biggest mistake he would ever make. Instead he was there to comfort his brother after having lost his best and only friend. 

Lambert didn't hear from Aiden again for five years. He managed to barely graduate High School, but didn't go for anything beyond that. He was good at developing his own skills though.

He joined the police academy, figuring that if he could do anything he might as well try being a force for good. Unfortunately, due to problems with his temper and morally questionable choices at times, he never made it as a full fledged officer.

It was late one night when he got a call. The voice on the other end was familiar and alien all at the same time. Aiden was drunk and in pain. He'd been arrested several towns over, caught gambling. He was looking at some serious charges that involved him having some bad gambling debts, and didn't know what to do. 

Lambert ended up driving all night to go bail Aiden out, but this man wasn't very recognizable from his old friend. Drugs and alcohol had made him a shell, and he was involved with some pretty bad people that had him in a constant state of paranoia.

Unsure of what to do, he just sat with his old friend in a hotel room and listened to him for hours.

So Lambert made a deal with Aiden. If Aiden cleaned himself up, no more drugs or alcohol, Lambert would clear all his debts. He wasn't entirely sure how, but he had some ideas. It took some effort, but Aiden agreed in the end. 

Lambert had himself made into Aiden's temporary guardian (I forget the actual term, my brain's fried) so that Aiden couldn't discharge himself.

So over the next six months, while Aiden worked on getting clean, Lambert spent every waking moment working. Between working for Vesemir on the ranch, he used his Academy training and some help from Eskel's military knowledge, and started bounty hunting. 

 He was surprisingly good at it. Started making a name for himself. He scraped together the money needed to pay off Aiden's debts and some of the rehab. So when Aiden was finally cleared to leave, he was free from his old life.

Lambert wasn't sure what he was expecting. Aiden wasn't the type of person to shower someone with praise and affection or gratitude. He swore he would pay Lambert back somehow. Lambert didn't care about being paid back, he just didn't want to see Aiden fall back into old habits.

The next several years were a lot of push and pull. He and Aiden have a lot of ups and downs, but it didn't take long for Aiden to join him in bounty hunting. And they made a hell of a team together. 

 But of course, Aiden is always going to be Aiden. The debt that he thought Lambert held over him was always there, always sitting sour on the back of his tongue. So he saved what he could until one day he gave Lambert a check for the money Aiden thought he owed and said that he doesn't owe Lambert shit anymore.

Of course, two dumb boys being two dumb boys, it ends in one hell of a fight. A lot of things are said that can't be taken back and Lambert and Aiden walk away with deep wounds.

Lambert moves in with Eskel, goes back to working on the ranch, and Aiden disappears again.

Lambert finds Aiden trying to pack his shit and leave. He begs Aiden to stay, and Aiden falls back into his old habits of verbally lashing out. He starts digging that Lambert must be some kind of homo and wants to suck Aiden's dick like a chick. That Lambert really must be fucked in the head if he's that broken. 

 But Lambert has a nerve there, and Aiden knows it by now. Not only because he does have reluctant romantic and sexual attractions to his best friend but because Aiden starts taking stabs at Lambert's family. "Geralt's one of them too, shouldn't surprise me." It's at this point that Lambert kinda snaps.

Lambert socks Aiden right across the face and lays into him. Because maybe he is a fucking homo, and he's the stupidest motherfucker in the world for being in love with such a selfish prick. He never asked or expected Aiden to return any emotions, that's not how Aiden works, but fuck it all he's happy just being friends and not thinking about it. 

 So it's actually Lambert who ends up leaving. He goes off the grid for a few days, takes his bike and just fucks off into the ether for a while. By the time he gets back it's to an empty apartment. He argues with himself over what to do with the check, because he knows what Aiden is going to do. Everything they'd worked for will be gone.

In the end he cashes it and opens an account to store the money because he knows that, one day, Aiden is gonna need it. He never considers it his money, he's just holding onto it because Aiden is a danger to himself.

Another year or two passes. He gets not a single word from Aiden in all that time. For all he knows Aiden is dead in a shallow grave somewhere and it eats at him, but there's not shit all he can do about it. 

 Then one day he gets the call he's been dreading.

Aiden's in the hospital two states over. He was found during a bust of a local gang and was in bad shape. When they got ID on him, Lambert's name was the one that came up as the emergency contact. It was hard to say what would happen because Aiden was in bad shape. 

 So of course, Lambert withdraws all the money and a chunk of his own savings. He knows he's an idiot, thanks-you-Eskel. But his brother insists on joining him because Lambert shouldn't go in alone this time. And even he knows it.

Aiden's in rough shape. He'll live but it was damn close. But what he isn't expecting is the person there when he goes to see Aiden. He calls himself Aiden's partner, and it takes a while for Lambert to realize that the guy means a hunting partner. 

 Aiden had stayed straight. Instead of falling back on drugs and gambling he'd thrown himself into bounty hunting. He and his partner had gotten caught in an attempt at the gang boss and they'd grabbed Aiden. 

 Hurt that he'd been replaced, but also relieved to know that his friend hadn't gone back to his old habits, Lambert just uses the money to do what he can for Aiden's medical bills. Eskel is there with him the whole time but stays quiet for the most part, playing emotional support. 

 They're just about to leave when Aiden's partner asks why Lambert won't even go see Aiden. He's mad because Aiden won't shut up about Lambert, and is always comparing him to Lambert, and it's infuriating. So it's Eskel who nudges Lambert to at least go talk to his friend - which is the first time that's ever happened.

He's there when Aiden wakes up. They sit in silence for a long while and finally all Lambert asks is, "You want me to stay" and Aiden just says, "Yeah." And that's enough for Lambert, because that's the closest thing the other gets to verbal affection. 

 Aiden needs time to recover, and Lambert drags him back home with him and Eskel so the other can do just that. There's no more scathing remarks about Lambert's attraction, no more anger. It's a slow process to getting Aiden back on his feet, but the man doesn't immediately bolt so there's that at least.

Lambert doesn't prod or press. Aiden stays through his recovery, he joins Lambert on a few hunts, they go to the bar together. Aiden doesn't get anything more than two beers, he'll order them both and then tell the bartender to not give him any more no matter how much he asks. Lambert is proud and unreasonably happy about this.

Eskel's apartment is only two bedrooms, and after the first week of letting Aiden have his bed, Lambert complains about sleeping on the couch. Aiden doesn't say anything about Lambert sleeping in the bed with him. They keep to their respective sides, a total no-homo situation. Just two bros bunking together.

One month turns to two, then to three. Their friendship is calmer this time around. Aiden is...relaxed. Eskel's lease runs up and he talks about getting a bigger place. Instead, Lambert and Aiden decide to try again. They get another place together, two bedrooms. They use the second bedroom as an office.

Nine months in and hey, what's an adrenaline-fueled kiss between bro's. No-homo right?

Ten months, "The water bill is too high." "We don't pay for the water here." "...shut up and get in the shower with me dumbass."

And the rest is history.

[acopenhagenarmy]

HUSH DARLING

Pairing: Hoseok x reader 

Warning: Dirty talk, praising kink, diry talk, vaginal fingering, unprotected sex, dom!hobi, sub!reader

Summary: Being besties with Jung Hoseok has it’s perks, especially after a drunk night out...

Word count: 2.5K 

A/N: I told you, you would get something every day until friday, and it’s gonna be so much fun! 

____________________

”Hoseok, stop dancing on the tables!” You all laughed, as you watched Taehyung desperately running after a very happy Hobi, doing his best to make his hyung behave in the restaurant you’d all rented out. But you all knew that this would be an incredibly difficult task, because a drunk Hobi, was a determined Hobi.

Nights like this were the best, sure you might have the restaurant to yourselves, but it still made you all feel like some fucked up youngsters in their twenties. Which was very different from your everyday lives. The boys had their music and a literal ARMY running around after them everywhere they went. And because of that you, and the rest of the girls had to watch them in the spotlight, from the very lonesome shadows.

You’d been best friends with Hoseok since that one day in Paris where the two of you literally ran into each other at the airport. Because of his broad and very muscular chest it was like running into a brick wall, and you of course ended up on the floor. Looking up you saw a very confused but laughing boy with a heart shaped smile.  

He had laughed a little while you’d spotted the fans running towards him. You knew who he was, after all him and the rest of the boys were the reason why you were there, so all you said from your place from the floor was: “You need to go now Hoseok, before they catch up. I’m okay, so go, I’ll see you tonight”

His expression went from happy to confused in the blink of an eye, as the security pushed him away from you. You’d never imagine you would be this close to one of your idols, but you’d always respected their privacy and hated those who didn’t. Which was why you told him to go. As he got pushed further away all he did was yell back: “Where do you sit?” and your answer was Y.

After a very long day, and a nap that was way to short you were finally at the stadium, but as you entered you were rushed away by security. You did your very best to keep calm, but it got harder as you walked through the hidden halls of the gigantic stadium. They pushed you inside a room and told you to wait. So you did, and that was when he entered. He wanted to thank you for helping him, so he’d arrange for you to get the full VIP-package, and from there the two of you became the best of friends.

Which is how you found yourself laughing your ass off with Seokjins fiancé, as you watched your drunk friends behave like crackheads. It wasn’t often you were all gathered like this, friends, boyfriends, fiancées. You name it, and you had it. But the night was coming to an end, soon the sun would be up, which meant you all had to crawl back into the shadows.

“Hope get your ass over here” You let go of Anna, who you up until now had used as your anchor while your laughed. For some reason you were the only one who could get through to Hoseok when ever he drank. He looked at you with the eyes of his stage persona, as he walked towards you as he licked his lips.

You rolled your eyes at him and opened your arms for him to wrap you in a tight hug as he usually did. Your little gesture worked, and he went from a predator to a fluff-ball in need of lots of affection and love, in a matter of seconds.

“Can we please go home?” He was much taller than you, and as his arms snaked around your body, he looked down at you with pleading eyes.

“Of course, we can my hope”

He hummed in appreciation, as he rested his chin on top of your head. Locking his hands around your lower back, and pulled you close to his chest. You laughed a little as you spotted Taehyungs amazed look.

“How the fuck did you do that?! I’ve been running around for forty minutes trying to get him to calm down, and now you’re telling me all you needed to do, was-was that?!” Behind him all you could see was the boys who practically were laying on top of each other as they laughed their asses off.

“It’s a talent Tae, don’t take it personally” You gave him a little wink as Hobi pulled you even closer

“She’s the Hobi whisperer, it has nothing to do with you, trust me! I’ve been there more times than I can count” Jin said as he blew him a kiss.

The pout on Tae’s lips might be a dramatic effect, but the hurt in his eyes were real. The way he stared at the floor caused you to break free from Hobi’s arms to wrap your friend in your own. Anything for making him smile once again.

“I’m gonna take him home now okay? He needs water, McDonalds and a lot of sleep if he’s gonna get to practice tomorrow” You gave Taehyung a little squeeze at the end of the sentence, which made him giggle into the crook of your neck.

“Okay noona. Thank you.”

“Anything for you my sweet boy” a small bush were creeping in on the young boys cheeks at the pet-name you gave him.

“Yaaaaaah! (Y/N) come on we need to go! I’m in serious need of a hamburger and Yoongi want fries”

“Your coming too?” You looked at Yoongi with a puzzled look, he smiled and shrugged his shoulders as response.

“Uh! I want food as well!” The boys tall and forever graceful leader came stumbling towards the three of you, almost falling over his own feet.

You shook your head, well there was nothing else to do, than to get these three some food and then to bed.

------

“Noona don’t leave me” You were almost out the door when you looked back at a pouting Hoseok with his arms stretched out towards you, as he made grabby hands. You rested against the doorframe with a tiered smile;

“You need to sleep Hobi”

“Hell no, I need cuddles… Please come cuddle me?” He looked at you with pleading eyes.

“Okay, okay. But you need to keep quiet, we don’t wanna wake the others” You looked at both Yoongi and Namjoon who filled the other bed in the room.

“Yay! Come here I wanna spoon you”

A small chuckle left you as you laid beside your best friend. His strong arms found your waist and pulled you close to him, as he hid his face in the crook of your neck.

“You smell so nice noona” He hummed as he pulled you even closer, his lips were so close to your neck you could feel his breath, leaving goosebumps on your entire body. You could feel the blood rushing to color your cheeks a light red, and you thanked the gods for the dark room.

His long fingers started to explore your body, which made you shiver with every light touch he left on your bare skin.

“You’re shaking baby, are you cold?”

“Don’t call me that Hobi, I’m not you baby”

“Your right, you’re my baby girl, aren’t you (Y/N)?” The boldness in his voice made you want to curl up into a ball. This wasn’t right, he was your best friend. But his touch was everything you’d ever longed for, and you wanted more. No, you needed more.

The next thing you felt was his soft lips against the back of your neck and even softer fingers caressing the bare skin on your back, underneath the oversized t-shirt you’d borrowed only thirty minutes earlier. An almost silent moan escaped your lips as his hands caressed your ass slowly tracing your panties with a touch so light, you doubted it was even there.

At least that was until his finger slowly slipped further underneath them, as he slowly bit the soft skin on your neck to masker the amazing moans that left him. His fingers slowly rubbed along your damp lips, stroking and teasing you.

You couldn’t do anything but spread your legs to allow him to enter inside you. He pulled the duvets of you and looked down at your naked form as you laid there, face full of pleasure that he caused. He smirked as his eyes ate your body whole, biting his lips as he said:

“Look at you, being such a good girl taking everything I give you. Gosh Y/N, you’ve no idea for just how long I’ve wanted to hear you moan my name in pleasure.”

His long fingers started to poke at your small entrance, teasing you with their presence. You moaned out his name, which both sounded so wrong yet so right.

“Hush darling, we don’t wanna wake the others, do we? Or would you like an audience?”

One of his hands grabbed you breast and twisted your nipple as he spoke, leaving you in a state of pure euphoria. But his words still got to you, and suddenly you remembered just where and who you were with.

“Hoseok we can’t do this, everyone will hear. A-and we’re friends…” Your voice was nothing more than a whisper, and while your brain did it best to try to find a meaning behind Hoseoks actions, his touch made it impossible for you to do any kind of rational thinking.

He slipped a finger inside of you and inhaled sharply as he heard the soft moan escape you lips once again. “Oh darling, have I’ve been to good at hiding it? My love and my desire for you?” As he said the word, he pushed yet another finger inside of you, watching over you as your facial expression once again captured his attention.

He loved having you like this, in his arms close to him, face in a light blush with an open mouth he couldn’t wait to devour. So that’s what he did. He flipped you over so that the two of you finally faces each other, pulling one of your legs over his hip, making your wet center hover over his growing member. And then he leaned in to kiss you.

He was drunk, he knew that, but he’d wanted you for so long, and now there was no turning back. His lips took your breath away as they found yours. Sparks went of inside your chest, as your hands found his hair and pulled him closer.

Your tongues dances as he grabbed your ass, pushing your core into him, grinding against him. His stiff cock was only hidden away from your soaking hole with the slim briefs he had worn to bed. He pumped his fingers in and out, making small whimpers leave you as your walls pulsed around him.

A sound of need leaves your mouth before you even notice it, as he pulls his long fingers out of you.

“Gosh baby girl do you need me that bad? Do you want me to fill you up real good, huh? Want me to fill you with my cock?”

He grabs the hem of his briefs as he speaks and pulls them down, revealing his thick and long member. Showing you just what you’ve been missing all these years. You instantly lick your lips by the sight of him, wanting nothing more than to lick and suck the life out of him as he squirms beneath your touch.

“Can I feel you? Oh gosh please let me feel you” You can almost hear the whine in his voice as he scoots even closer towards you. He releases a long and hot breath when you start rubbing your tight pink pussy on the tip of his cock, your way of telling him, that you want this just as much as he does.

“You’re such a tease baby girl, making me want you even more without ever giving me what you know I crave” He bites your earlobe and align himself with your entrance.

“Can I put it in? I promise I’ll be gentle… At first”

“Oh Jesus fucking Christ Hobi, just fuck me already” You forget that you aren’t alone in the room, and almost yell at him in want and need.

He has done an incredible job at warming up and slide right in between your tight walls as both of you moan out into the room. He’s big and the burning stretch you feel is replaced by pleasure as he starts to grind into you.

His lips find yours and your hands finds his hair and pulls slightly as he spanks your ass. You bite your lip to conceal the loud moans that threaten to escape you as the sting from his hands leave a pink mark. He slide in and out of you with ease, like the two of you were made for each other. Hitting all the right places in his way leaving you trembling after every touch.

“Your pussy is so tight and needy baby girl, every time I try to pull out you suck me back in. Has it been long since anyone has been able to please you like this?” His hand reach down between your bodies finally giving some attention to your swollen clit.

“Gosh, fuck! I’m so close!” The knot inside your stomach grows bigger with every swirl of his fingers, bringing you closer and closer to the edge.

“That’s right baby, come for me, I wanna know how it feels when that pretty little pussy comes all over my dick”

His thrusts was getting sloppier, and you knew he was close as well, so you look him in the eyes and moan: “Come with me baby, I wanna feel you fill me up with your hot seed” Your filthy words are all it takes to push him over the edge, and the feeling of him spilling everything he has inside of you is what push you over as well.

He hides his face in the crook of your neck as he stays inside of you, even after he gets soft. He pulls you close and kiss you wherever his lips can make contact with skin.

“That was amazing, you are amazing” His eyes sparkle as he gives you the compliment, and he continues: “I’m never letting you go Y/N, not after I’ve had you like this. We’re never letting you go”

You laugh a little, he must be fucked out of his mind.

“Hobi I think you’re a little confused, it’s you not we” You look down at him and see the smirk that creeps onto his lips

“Oh no, he’s right when he says we” You push Hoseok away from you naked form, desperate with covering yourself up by the sudden sound of Yoongi.

You look towards both of the boys, in the bed across from you pupils blown, as they palm themselves through their pants.

Namjoon looks at you as he bites his bottom lip “We all want you kitten, so will you let us have you?”

[novellaquill]

Starling: Starting Over

—

Drabble with OC!Batsis x Batfam

Summary:

Lerina begins to doubt her decision and doubts if she can make it on her own but with help from friends she starts to enjoy her new found freedom. However, an old friend may accidentally ruin it all.

Warning: This talks about depression, mental illness, and other serious topics. If these topics make you feel uncomfortable don't read. There is also cursing.

A/N: You finally get to see what she looks like and are introduced to a new character! Young Justice are mentioned.

—

“It’s all anybody wants, right? Clean slate. A new beginning. Like that’s gonna be any easier. Ask the guy pushing the boulder up the hill. Nothing’s easy about starting over. Nothing at all.”

― Meredith Grey

“Everyone has that moment I think, the moment when something so momentous happens that it rips your very being into small pieces. And then you have to stop. For a long time, you gather your pieces. And it takes such a very long time, not to fit them back together, but to assemble them in a new way, not necessarily a better way. More, a way you can live with until you know for certain that this piece should go there, and that one there.” ― Kathleen Glasgow, Girl in Pieces

—

I'm not going to lie this has been hell. My anxiety is skyrocketing,  I've never done this before. I spent nights wondering what my family would say if I ever saw them again. Would they be angry or disappointed? Who knows? Why should I care? I shouldn't, but I do. Dick's birthday is coming soon. I've never missed a birthday before what am I going to do? Will they survive without me? Of course, they will. Will they be okay though?  Again I ask who know? I shouldn't care, but I do I always will. Every day is a nightmare, it feels like you're on your own even though you have people to help you. 

— My best friend Shani gave me a place to stay until I got on my feet, but later on, we decided to become roommates since rent would be cheaper and she's basically my second sister. We got a four bedroom two bath apartment in Star Ciry. Honestly, we didn't need all that space, but Leilei insisted on having a place to sleep when she came to visit, and we both wanted a workspace. Shani mainly just wanted Leilei there so she could get free food whenever she came to visit, that vulture.

Now for the hell part, it's difficult to take care of yourself without having to take care of someone else at least physically. At home, I would remember to eat because I helped Alfred make breakfast for my household. Now I have to remind myself that I have to eat for me. Eating was necessary for survival just another task for me to do. It was hard to find the joy in anything especially when it's for myself. Oh, don't get me started on finding the motivation to do anything. Now that someone isn't relying on you it feels like you can't do anything or find to energy to do anything. When living is a chore with others, and now you're by yourself it feels like you're pushing a boulder up an unclimbable mountain. Maybe I should just go home? I mean what am I going to do out here? Really? Like what's the-"Okay get your ass up," Shani my best friend said dragging me off my bed and into the shower, "You did this at my old place you're not doing it here." "AH! SHIT, YOU SON OF A BITCH THAT'S COLD," I screamed as she drowned my body in the water. "Forget them Lerina you are a strong independent woman who doesn't need a man. Act like it! Now you have a degree in psychology if you saw someone acting like this what would you tell them to do," she asked dismissing the fact that her best friend is still in her clothes and in the shower having cold water pouring down on them. "I'm not a psychiatrist, but I'd tell them to go see one and get to get their life together," I answered pissed. "So what should you do?" "Yeah, I get it. Get out so I can take my own advice." "You're welcome bestie!" "I hate you." — Luckily I did see a psychiatrist. It's kinda fun to talk to him because of my background in psychology, I know the medical terms. I also received a new private doctor so it could be harder to track me. Together my doctor and my psychiatrist found medications that worked for me. Basically all the medicine I hoped to avoid I had to take. I'm on an antidepressant and medication for anxiety, but at least I don't have to take Adderall anymore. I used to as a child, and I haven't used it over a year. I'm officially off it now. I'm supposed to manage my stress, but I went ahead and got one of the most stressful jobs ever. I'm a neurologist! I originally went to school to be a psychiatrist, but that wasn't my calling. I continued the course then switched it to neurology I still love psychology and use the knowledge I learned to read others and give advice from time to time. Let's be honest, it's easier to fix someone else's problem than to fix your own. I didn't want to set a bad example for my patients. It took some time to job hunt and to get the okay from my doctors, but I finally started working. Life has its ups and downs I know that now and after three months my life is coming together. Maybe just maybe I can do this.

—

That naive little fool. Did she honestly believe starting over would be that easy? In only three months as well? Ha! She’d have better luck seeing Jesus and watching hell freeze over with him by her side. Did it not occur to her that her younger siblings would indeed look for her? Oh yes, the batclan began to search for her whereabouts two weeks after she went disappeared and haven't ceased searching since. I bet you curious to why it took two weeks for the clan of vigilantes to look for their missing bat. Well, it all started two months and a week ago. --

Tim noticed Lerina's disappearance the second he entered the Batcave. There was no welcome home kisses, bone-crushing hugs, or dinner. No questions about the mission after being dragged into the infirmary. There was nothing but the pained groans from his fellow vigilantes and the sounds of the keyboard used by Bruce. Tim looked at Jason and Jason looked back a Tim. It was if they shared the same mind that moment, they knew for a fact without a single doubt something was wrong with their sister. "Hey, Alfred did you see Lerina anywhere," Jason asked while getting a bullet wound stitched up "I'm afraid I haven't seen Miss Lerina at all during my return," the butler answered. "She's probably in her bedroom," Dick proposed, "Doesn't she have a board meeting tomorrow?" "Indeed she does but-," "I am certain that Oriel is alive and well," Damian interrupted unbothered by his butler and older brothers' concerned tone. "I didn't know you cared Damian," Cassandra said while putting away her gear, "I don't I believe we should consider taking the time to appreciate the beautiful silence her absence has brought us," he replied with a smirk. "If Lerina isn't here it's for a good reason. Now I want Tim-" "Bruce I'm pretty sure Lerina is missing," Tim interjected. "Nonsense Drake, Oriel is most likely working on father's business files and if not she's with her grandmother. Do Not disturb her I'm enjoying the silence," Damian sneered leaving the group. -- That's how it was for the entire time she was gone. Jason, Tim, and Alfred started their search immediately, however, the others didn't decide to join until 3 weeks later Kamalei complained about not seeing her granddaughter, even if that was a lie. It was then when the police, the league, and young justice were notified of her disappearance. There wasn't even the tiniest unit of dust to point them in the right direction but they continued to search losing hope until someone got a text. "That was Wally," Dick explained as the other began to suit up, "He saw Rina in Star City."

-- "Did you see the news today Rina?" "Oh yes, 'No it's true I am the real Lerina Oriel-Wayne' please," Lerina mocked the latest beauty queen who pretended to be her, "Another demented fangirl craving fame and fortune."  "Yo, but did you see how much money your family was willing to lay down for your return? Nearly fifty thousand dollars! Hell, I'm willing to put lipstick on a pig for that much money," Shani exclaimed powerless to hide the shock that trekked across her body. "Only fifty thousand? A pity I thought I was worth more than that," she shrugged entirely unbothered by the amount of reward money her family was willing to spend for her retrieval. "However, what is worrying is if someone recognizes me and reports back to my family. Are you certain it's safe for me to be out in public?" "I'm sure, you don't stay out long enough for the public to remember what you look like and thanks to papa Bruce's neglection he doesn't have any recent pictures of you. Relax, you're in the clear." Shani responded in a laid back tone, "Now let's go get some coffee-SHIT!!" "What," the older woman questioned, "What's wrong?" "It's Wally he's here! He heard everything and he's coming right at us, RUN!" You didn't have to repeat yourself to get the oldest Wayne to run as if a demon was right on her tail but as a regular human, it's impossible to outrun a speedster. Within a second a livid red head blocked their path. "Wally hi. How's everything with Artemis?" "Don't play that with me Lerina you have a lot of explaining to do,' Wally growled taking off with the pair. -- "That's it? That's why you dropped off the face of the Earth?!" Wally shouted his rage scorching the air. "What do you mean "that's it', Lerina argued, "That's a great reason." "You couldn't have left a note?" No, because I didn't want them to find me!!" "Listen Wally," Shani began getting the attention of her best friend and the speedster, "You're not really being fair-" "HOW AM I NOT BEING FAIR!?" he screamed, "The league, Young Justice, her own family are currently killing themselves to find her thinking that she's in some sort of danger only for me to find out she abandoned them! How am I being unfair?" "I didn't abandon them I left to-" he cut her off, "You left to spite them." "I left because if I stayed they would use that 50 grand to plan my funeral," she snapped her response draining the color from Wally's face."W-w-what?" he stuttered unable to get the words out, "I left to save my life, Wally, I would've killed myself in that house," she said voice cracking, "I didn't leave a note because I didn't want them to carry the burden of knowing nor did I want to face them ever again." He sat down on their couch head lowered and fingers running through his red locks, "SO what am I supposed to do, huh? I already texted telling them I saw you here. They are on their way if they aren't already here." "Well, you don't have to tell anyone you found us," Shani stated. Wally's head snapped up, "Are you saying that I lie to them?" "No, I'm just saying-" "I know what you're saying and it's still a lie. Asking for me to lie to my best friend and the bat clan is one thing but the team and my girlfriend too? You've got to be kidding me." "Artemis already knows. You can't be in Star City without one of its vigilantes finding out," Shani explained "Listen," Lerina said sitting next to him, "You can tell them I was here but by the time you come back I'll be on the next flight somewhere else. Why? I finally made a life where I'm not numb and I can live my life to the fullest. I'm not sacrificing my happiness or my health for anyone. Not anymore. Now you don't have to keep my secret I'm not going to ask you do but if you do I know a senior citizen who is always willing to fill that bottomless pit you call a stomach." Wally sighed putting his face in his palms, "He's my best friend, Lerina you can't just-" "Shh let's talk about something else, how are you and Artemis doing," she questioned. The only response was a groan. -- "Are you absolutely sure you saw her?" Nightwing questioned looking over the city. "You saw the picture I sent, it was her," Kid Flashed answered in monotone. "But?' he asked turning to his glum friend. "There were too many people around during a rush hour. I couldn't catch up." he said sighing in defeat. Nightwing didn't show it but he was distraught and Wally knew this but a new feeling of hope also filled the blue vigilante’s heart, "It's fine man. Thank you for notifying us, we'll keep looking in that area during the time she was last spotted to see if we can find a pattern. Then we'll branch out to the rest of the city. I'm sorry for all the trouble." "Yeah," Wally said as a mixture of  relief and guilt  settled in his stomach, "I'm sorry too."

--

~Novella Quill

[lovedroughtff]

Chapter 2 ~ Stuck On Stupid

It's confusing How you do it It's like you take my heart and glue it to your soul Yeah baby And I'd do anything for you Ooh you know that much it's true Girl I'm so in love I'm stupid They say everybody plays the fool sometimes And if I've got to I don't mind I'll be the best damn fool for you No lie And girl I lose it every time 

 Cash

It’s been a few days since I last saw or talked to my brother, I know he’s still pissed at me from calling out Dahlia. But I couldn’t help it. Dahlia and Ashton together, is a horrible mix and I’m not picking up the pieces of their toxic relationship for the fourth time in a row.

I was sipping on my drink, once I saw my best friend Kristen. I smiled and got up to greet her, it’s been a while since I seen her and I miss her.

“Hi Bestie!” She laughed when I engulfed her in a hug.

“I missed you so much.”

“I can see that.” She chuckled again.  

We released each other and started talking,  

“So, what’s been going on Autumn?” Kris asked, I rolled my eyes, knowing she called me Autumn to irritate me. 

“Stop it,” but I shrugged, “Nothing really, Daddy is fine and I don’t know about Ashton, because we got into a fight.”

The waitress delivered Kris a water and took our orders, once she was done she walked away. Kris stirred her straw in the water, looking at me saying “So, what did you do?”

I again, rolled my eyes and told her about catching Dahlia and Ashton in bed together and what I said.

“Autumn Cashmere Scott, you know you’re dead ass wrong for that.” She scolded.

“It’s about time he came with the facts, she’s a manipulative bitch and I can’t stand her playing with my  brother’s feelings. He needs someone new or he’s gonna be stuck on heartbreak mode forever.” I was getting sad, because all I wanted was to protect my brother, and I couldn’t do shit, because he never listened to me.

Kris just nodded and I knew that she understood more than anyone.

“Speaking of siblings, how are yours?” I asked,

“The Harris/Jimmenez clan or the Hayes clan?” She giggled

“Harris/ Jimmenez, are the only ones I like being around.”

She shrugged, “Well, Bass just started 9th grade and he’s the sweetest boy ever, then Ari is the sweetest starting her second year in college, straight A’s as always. Raquel is annoying as always, mean too, but I think she’s okay with her tattoo shop and school, and you know it’s never easy for Sienna. I don’t think she really grieved Julian’s death, cause she had to grow up and raise her daughter alone.”

I nodded, I remember Julian and Sienna, they were literally the perfect couple, I was sad to hear he was murdered, leaving Sienna alone with their child but she’s stronger than most.

“You know my sister hasn’t had dick in 7 damn years!” Kristen said, bewildered. I spit out my drink back into the glass, “7 fucking years are you kidding me? Is she okay?!”

She shrugged, “I don’t know but she needs something because she can’t be a hermit forever. She’s so beautiful, and yes a little shy but she deserves happiness and I know she’s miserable right now.”

I chuckled, “You sound like me with Ashton, I just need him off of Dahlia’s ass for one minute to realize that he’s a great person and deserves happiness.”

We got our food and started to eat, but still talking, “What if we got Ashton and Sienna together?” She proposed.

“What do you mean?”

“They’re both in the same situation, needing to get out of funks, I know Ashton is something else, but  I just need the cobwebs knocked off my sister. Nothing more, nothing less. ”

“You want us to put together two of the most stubborn people?”

She snorted at my face, “Yes, I don’t think it’ll be a bad idea.”

I shrugged, “Whatever you say.” As I continued to eat my food and enjoy lunch with my best friend.

 Sienna

Thankfully, after dinner on the day of Ju’s passing, my parents said they’d keep Brielle for a few days. They knew how hard it was for me, and I couldn’t nor wouldn’t cry around Brielle.I’m glad for my space, but I wanted my daughter back so bad. I missed having her around.

I knew that before I got her from my parents house, that I needed to stock my house and kitchen with food and clean my house, so I was currently at the grocery store.

Getting all of the necessities of having a six year old and myself, I found myself counting the prices together, knowing I couldn’t buy everything I needed. Being a 27 year old, without proper education and a shitty ass job, has truly kicked me in the ass.

Momma and Baba are there to help, but I don’t like asking for their help, because my mother would literally hold it over my head. We haven’t always had the best relationship, but it’s gotten better since Bri was born.  

I was homeless, up until Brielle was 2 months old, and we lived in my car. My parents didn’t know, until I just couldn’t take it anymore and I asked to stay with them. I guess I was out of it completely, until I heard my name being called.

“Sienna?” I looked up and saw Julian’s sister Jillianna, standing in front of me, with two boys, who looked about Brielle’s age. They resembled Brielle, and I knew that they were Julian’s other children

I froze up, the last time I saw Jilly was the night her mother kicked me out of the apartment.

It was two months after Ju’s funeral and I was sitting on the couch, watching all of our bills pile up. I didn’t have a job and no one would hire a 6 month pregnant, 20 year old who was about to go on maternity leave in a few months.

I looked at our picture on the bookshelf and sighed, “Julian, what am I going to do without you?”

As soon as I spoke that out loud, knocking came on the front door, I carefully got off the couch and waddled to the front door. Opening the door, I saw Julian’s mother and his sister with our landlord, I was confused, because the last time I saw them both, they cursed me out and wouldn’t mention me or our child at his funeral.

“Why are you here at my apartment?” I was ready to slam the door on their faces. His mother smirked and his sister only looked towards the ground.

My landlord sighed, “Sienna, I’m sorry to do this, but the apartment belonged to Julian, and his will stated that everything belonging to him, goes to his mother. So you need to leave.”

I couldn’t even speak, I knew she did this on purpose. I pointed in her face, “You know he gave me this apartment, and you know he loved me. Why are you doing this to me?”

She shrugged with her smirk never leaving her face, “That isn’t my son’s baby. He loved a whore, just like her mother. His real baby mother and twins will live here. Rent free.”

I blinked back, noticing that Jilly was staring at me.

“What did you say?” I asked.

“I said how are you doing? I haven’t seen you since- well you know?” She looked off to the side, this was awkward for the both of us.

“Since you and your mother kicked me out, leaving me homeless, with nothing but the clothes on my back? Yeah, I have been fine.” I spat, shifting my weight, I didn’t like being uncomfortable and here we are, me being uncomfortable.

“Look, Sienna I’m sorry. Mother- You know how mother was. I couldn’t stop her.” She pleaded.

I rolled my eyes, “Yes, you could’ve yet, there I was in my pajamas and socks 6 months pregnant banging on my door, of the apartment that I decorated for my daughter and my future husband. Begging to be let back in. Only to get the police called on me.”

“How is your daughter? Brielle right?” Her eyes brightened when she mentioned Bri. But I refused.

I put my hand up, “You do not get to know or ask about her. She wasn’t Jullian’s remember?”

I was over this conversation, and over grocery shopping, I bumped her shoulder walking out of the store.

I had a few hours before I had to go pick up Bri, so I stopped by my best friend Phoenix’s house and told her the entire encounter that I just had with Jilly.

“So you saw the twins?” She patted my hand, sympathetically.

I nodded, sniffling and wiping my tears, “They looked just like Julian did when he was little.I can’t even believe he did that to me.”

Seven years later, and I still was crying over Julian. Not only for his death, but because of the pain he caused me. I wasn’t the only “pregnant girlfriend” crying at his funeral. But his mother liked the other more than she liked me. She told his whole family, I was the mistress and she was the Fiancé. Yet in reality, I had the ring, and she was the mistress.  

I was still stuck on him, and he was the one that uprooted my life.

“I’m so sorry Sienna. Let me go make you some tea.”

She got up to leave when I laughed, “I don’t want tea Phoe. Thank you. What I want is Julian back so I can ask what the hell did he do.”

I didn’t even know he cheated on me, until his damn funeral, I couldn’t view his body, sit with his family. Nothing, I was also ran out of the funeral by his cousins. I thought we were perfect, but it seems to me that, we were an absolute mess and I was a complete idiot.

“You know that can’t-“

“Yes, I know. I just want to know what I did, to make him cheat on me? We were together for 6 years before he died. Teenagers. I was pregnant and then he just.... was gone."

I was starting to get sad again, when my other best friend, Logan sighed,

"Can we please stop talking about this jackass?" He mumbled.

Logan never liked Julian, even when we were kids. They constantly got into fights and neither told me why.

"Can you not be an asshole, Logan?" Phoenix hissed.

"I'm just saying, he was a shitty person in life and after death. He isn't coming back and we all just need to move on to bigger and better things." He said boastfully.

I zoned them out and looked out the window. My life has literally been on pause the da he got shot and killed, and I don't even know why.

"Why was Julian at the place where he got shot?" I mumbled.

"Sienna!" Logan exhaled exasperated.

"He told me that he was going to meet you Logan, across town. Why was he over there?" ��

"Sienna, I hated that man and all you thought he was. I don't know why he told you that I was meeting him. I was doing other shit." He looked at his phone "And now, I gotta go, thanks for talking about an asshole for an entire hour. Next time, warn me,"  

He got up and walked out of the door, slamming.

"He's an asshole, why are we friends with him?" Phoenix grumbled. "He's right. I have to move on."

~~~ When I got home from Phoe's house, I picked up Brielle and I got the mail. Opening it up, there was a letter and a check from Julian's estate.

Confused, I opened it up and read the letter from his lawyer. Julian basically set up a trust for Brielle and I, and once she turned 6, we would be notified and given 100,000 dollars. The trust had over 23 million and once Brielle hit 18, she would get her full trust.

I started to cry, Was this real? Was this a joke?

I called the law office, and they confirmed everything was true. I called Baba's lawyer, and he also said it was true.  

I couldn't breathe, I could move out of this shitty ass apartment that I live in, I can finally pay all my bills and buy food. I was immediately thanking God because he knew we needed this. Fumbling through all the papers, I found a letter from Julian.

I had to read it about 10 times, I never been so angry in my life. I didn't know him as well as i thought I did.

I wanted to literally bring him back to life so I could kill him. I decided right then and there, that I wasn't going to be sad over this fucker. I am not harboring onto the past, but I am moving the hell on. and I know exactly what the hell I need to do first.

I picked up the phone, "Hey Phoe, can you watch Brielle for a few hours? I got something I need to fix."

Ashton

I was pulling up to the family house, and I instantly regretted coming. Pops had called a family meeting, so here I am. With my annoying ass little sister.

I hadn't spoken a word to her since the other day, and I know if anything, she told our dad and he was on her side, and I was about to hear more opinions on my relationship with Dahlia. I was tired of it.

I said a quick silent prayer and walked into the family mansion that my dad loved so much. Through the front door was the foyer and had pictures dedicated to Cash and I, and then our mother and father, when they were younger.

Mom died when I was about 14 from Lung Cancer, it was tough on my sister and father, hell it was tough on me too because I miss her everyday.

"Can you stop staring at your mother long enough to come and join the family?" I heard a voice  say,

I turned around to see my older brother and older sister standing at the bottom of the stairs. Asher was 10 years older than me and Aurielle was 12 years older than me. They mom and our dad was together as teenagers and had kids early, then they broke up and came along my mom and my parents had Cash and I.

I dapped up my big brother and hugged my sister, it's been years since I have seen them.

"Autumn can you bring your ass on?" Aurielle yelled up the stairs!

I heard her scream out of frustration, "How many times, do I have to say, my name is Cashmere, please call me Cash!!"

She ran down the stairs not paying attention, we knew that she has always hated her first name, but it was always hilarious to make her upset.

"Okay, Autumn. We understand." We all said, making us laugh and her death glaring at us.

She rolled her eyes, "I'm not 6 anymore, that shit doesn't work." When she noticed me, she kinda cowered away making everyone notice.

Before we could speak on it, Dad called us into his study. Grant Alexander Jasper Scott, 53 years old, and still looked like he could be our older brother. All four of us admired our father and the work he put into making his legacy. By the time Dad and Mom had me, he was 27 and was already a Multimillionaire.

He used to be the greatest drug Distributer in the United States, everyone used Dad for business. Stationed in Chicago, he had dealers in LA, Seattle, New York, New Jersey, Miami, Houston and even Columbia and Mexico. He was a big deal.

But he stopped all of that when he had Cash, and mom threatened he would take us, if he didn't.

We all sat down in his office and waited for him to speak. None of us dared to start first, because this man had a temper that we didnt want to get into. He sighed and played with the brim of his glass of whiskey and took his glasses off.  

"I needed to talk to all of you all together, and it can really change the entire dynamic of our family."

~~~~~

After the meeting at my dad's house, I was in a horrible mood. The news from my father wasn't settling and then Cashmere and I got into another fight. Apparently, she decided to take it upon herself and try to set me on a blind date, with her best friend's sister. If anything, I know about Kristen Hayes, is that she is Bougie as hell, and I know her sister has to be just as bad. When I tell you, I was pissed, I was pissed!

I was at one of my many tattoo shops, telling Austin everything that went down. We owned Onyx Tattoo's together.  We were interrupted when our Receptionist called for us.

"Hey Ace, I got a walk in for a cover-up, she wants it done today. I would ask Austin but he has an appointment in like 30 minutes." Lea smiled sweetly.

She knew that I hated new clients and liked to stick to my own, but it's money either way.

"Ight, send her back." I dapped up Austin as he left and cleaned up my station when the girl walked in.  

I turned around and she was honestly, one of the most beautiful women I had ever seen. She has hazel eyes, full lips, and gorgeous long brown hair with the most banging body.

She caught me staring, and cleared her throat, "Are you going stare or?"

I chuckled at her boldness, "My bad, I'm Ace,"

I put out my hand so that she can shake it and she did, "Sienna."

"Nice to meet you Sienna, what would you like to get removed?"

I sat in my chair and picked up my notepad so I could draw what she wanted covered up.

She pulled down her pants to show me, her tattoo on her hip, it read Julian.  

"I want this covered up, with my daughter's footprint from when she was born. and her name and birthday." Then pulled the pants back over the tattoo and sat on the table

I nodded, making small conversation, "You have a kid? You don't look old enough."

She laughed, "Um, she's 6 and I'm 27, so I had her young. Do you have kids?"

I shook my head, " Nah, I want a bunch of them, but I haven't found the right girl."

"Well, take my advice, take your time, the right person could be around the corner, don't rush things and get to know the person before you have children with them."

I looked up from the notepad, and saw her rubbing her hip right where she got the tattoo, and by the way she just spoke to me, I knew that she was coming from a place of hurt.

"That's why you getting the tattoo covered?" I asked, she looked at me and took a minute to answer, it kind of surprised me when she did start talking.

"Yupp, exactly why. I thought about getting it removed, but out of the mess that was Julian and Sienna, came the perfect Brielle, and I wouldn't change her in for anything."

~~

After about two hours, I covered up her tattoo, and even added something extra. When we were done, she got up and looked at it.

"It's perfect. I love it." She smiled and turned to hug me.

It caught me off guard, but it was completely different.

"Thank you so much. How much do i owe you?" She said.

"You good Ma." I said, she was surprised, hell I surprised myself.

"You sure?"

I nodded, "Yeah, just go and get the care package in the front and you're good to go."

"Well, thank you Ace, nice to meet you!"

I smiled, "Nice to meet you too, Sienna."

She hugged me again, and this time I knew exactly this feeling. I hadnt been hugged like this since before my mom got sick, it Definitely made me feel some type of way.

She released the hug and left out of my area to the front.

About 3 clients later and fooling around with Austin getting ready for the next day for business, I was tired. All I wanted to do was go home, and Dahlia just sent me a picture of her naked in my bed, I immediately dipped.

I grabbed my shit and was rushing out the door, "Ayo Lea, call me if anything happens, cancel and reschedule my 11 am to my open at 2pm tomorrow. I won't be in til 12." I smirked,

She rolled her eyes, knowing exactly what I meant. "You got a tip nasty ass."

I was confused, cause my clients always tip me, in the back. She handed me the envelope and I read the front, "From Sienna, To Ace.

"She tipped me $400?" I spoke out loud.

"Psh, she must really like you. Cause i would never." Lea said

And she left me  a note, "I know you said don't pay, but I had too. I love this tattoo and I will be back. Nice to meet you again Ace, thank you :)"

Shit, nice to meet you too Sienna.