#the feelings were in fact NOT platonic and i was just a very confused baby queer

[goldennika]

met up with an internet friend for the first time last week and i couldn’t help but feel that maybe i was “too much” in some aspect and might have turned her off from wanting to keep in touch with me after our first live encounter

i was replaying our meeting in my head and started thinking “maybe i was too loud” “was i speaking too much?” “was i being self-centered and talked about my own experiences too much?” “did i monopolize the conversation?”

but i tried to remind myself that she said this won’t be the last time we’ll meet, asked to take photos of us together, and posted it online that same night saying she was really happy we finally got to meet (you can’t always trust social media since people mostly treat it as a highlight reel but i’ll take it as a win all the same)

we’ve also since continued to send each other memes and txt/kpop updates since we met up last weekend so i guess it’s still all good?

and she also shared some photos of her growing txt pin collection (i gifted her an a:sm pin) without me prompting her so i guess that’s also still really good?

[chronicbeans]

Romantic Lucifer x Cutely Flirty Reader

We're not using "Hey babe" here. Here, we got that "You're a cutie patootie, pookie". That's the best way I can describe the Reader's vibes on this.

TW: None, unless you hate fluff

• You both met when he visited the Hazbin Hotel. You actually met him as he was leaving and you were heading back to the hotel with some supplies you were buying. You were more than a little surprised by the carnage that had occurred while you were gone... However, you noticed Lucifer, and decided you might as well say hello.

• He's surprised by how polite you are compared to, say, Alastor. You talk for a bit, before you let him go back to his place. The first thing that you end up telling Charlie, once you talk to her, is pretty simple! "Your dad is adorable-"

• Thus begins your flirtation, whenever he is around. However, you do try to make sure he's not uncomfortable with it, to you keep it very low-key at first. The most you'll do is wave to him, saying "Hey, pookie!" as a greeting. He's probably a bit confused, at first, but shrugs it off.

• A bit confused means very confused, in this case. Especially when he notices Charlie looking embarrassed by it. Sure, he's heard pookie used romantically, but he's also heard it used platonically, so the fact that you're flirting hasn't hit him... yet.

• You both become friends rather quickly, sharing a love of things you find cute, like rubber ducks, Razzle and Dazzle, and Keke. You decide that, since you've become such good friends, it's time to up the ante a bit. You are now more prone to waving him over, saying things like "Hey there, sweetie!" or "Pookie bear, look what I've found!"

• It's at this point, he feels he's getting the hint. You're definitely flirting, in your own way. He likes you back, yes... However, he doesn't want to ruin such a good friendship. That, and he wants to be sure you like him for him, and not his looks. So, he starts waiting for you to show signs that you truly like him outside of flirtation - things that have more of a meaning than that, or cliche love tropes.

• And he gets that sign. One day, you come running up to him, holding what looks to be a rubber duck. "Pookie! Look! I found a duckling!" "Oh, that's such a cute little thing-" "quack" Oh, it's not a rubber duck... It's a real, living, breathing duckling. He's rather impressed by the fact that you found one in Hell, of all places. It's not even a demonic duck, either! It's a normal duckling! You must've went through a lot of work to get it, just for him...

• He takes it from your hands, looks down at it for a moment, before saying "This is our child now." And with that, you're dating. And you have a duckling baby, now. He's named it Charlotte, and it has it's own bedroom.

• He loves your flirting, to be honest, and may start to mimic it. You both call each other pookie all the time. You love to call him random names you come up with, like sugar bear, baby bean, cutie patootie, pookie wookie, and he loves all of them. His face practically burst into flames whenever you call him something like that. He likes to call you his little honeycrisp or apple pie. You two are drowning in fluff and Charlie is watching in pure shock, wondering how she got a duck sister and how you managed to rizz her dad by using cutesy flirting and ducks.

[stolasdearest]

Just a platonic one where reader is Alastor’s older sister.

Like: She finds out that Alastor is staying at the hotel and he didn’t tell her. Thats it, she’s coming over there and is going to show them all his baby photos.

Alastor x Reader ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

Platonic!Oldersister reader

Warnings: not Proofread, Alastor having a very hard time with his sister

Hearing through the grapevine that your dear little brother was staying at a hotel without telling you, you decided to give him a visit. Speed walking through the streets in hell you looked at your GPS to find the hotel, you looked up and noticed the giant hotel sitting on top of a hill and you mentally face palmed at yourself for not noticing the giant sign of the hotel, you put your phone away and adjusted your bag; skipping up the hill.

You cleared your throat and dusted off your clothes; taking a deep breath you didn't know what kind of crowd was gonna be in this hotel, minus the fact you read the actual goal of the hotel so you knocked softly, waiting for a response; which you quickly received by hearing a girl shouting about a new guest.

You see you were Alastor's sister even when you were alive, You didn't do as many heinous things as he did but you definitely did some "going to hell" worthy things; after ending up there and finding Alastor you went to a few connections and requested them find some of your old things of importance from when you were alive, that included things with Alastor in it and you planned to embarrass the Overlord for disappearing without telling you anything

The door ripped open with a girl named Charlie Violetntly shaking your hand and introducing herself while dragging you inside; your eyes quickly falling on your little brother who sat on the couch with a bewildered look in his eyes; Husk was also here what great news, oh! And Niffty!

"Y/n! It's so good to see you again how are you? Charlie did you know this is Alastors big sister?!"

Nifftys face changed into confusion as Alastors aura was surrounded by static noise and a screech as everyone's jaw dropped; Charlie being the quickest to recover and run over to Alastor

"you have a sister?! And you didn't tell us?"

You looked over at Alastor while patting Nifftys head, playfully frowning as you put your bag down onto the hotel floor

"you didn't tell me about me? I thought you loved me Alastor"

He groaned and looked away, desperately trying to look away from everyone as his cheeks flushed with embarrassment

"well, that makes me not feel guilty when I'm gonna be showing everyone what baby you looked like"

His whole body tensed as he glared at you, the grip on his microphone tightening, Silently threatening you to which you shrugged and rummaged in your bag, pulling out a book seemingly filled with pictures of your life when you were human. Alastor sat back and zoned out choosing to ignore the cooing and doting from everyone looking the Radio demon to-be

Authors note : THIS WAS SHORT AND BAD..IM SO SORRY

Taglist: @charlessuu @k1y0yo @ihavetoomanyfictionalcrushes

[screechingsandwichtriumph]

Platonic yandere avengers

Romantic yandere spiderman

This is for the egg ask I got and I'm sorry but It got deleted twice when I had made some really good progress so this is going to be maybe a little short

Warnings: fighting , limping , implied yandere behavior , I wrote this in the middle of the night

Summary: this thing basically

Feel free to drop me an ask<3

When the egg fell out of your pocket and cracked you started hyperventilating. Natasha assumed it was some normal panic attack that was simply triggered by the fallen egg, and was ready to try and comfort you

On the other hand Thor was confused on why you had an egg in your pocked and an unboiled one for the fact!

Before Natasha could comfort you , bucky an expert at panic attacks stepped in , trying to assure you about how this wasn't a big deal , noone was mad at you and that you were safe , even going as far as to say that they had other eggs in the fridge and he could get you one if you wnted

At the sound of that offer , tony was in common ground and went as far as to offer you a whole chicken 'so you can have eggs whenever you want to apparently'??

Peter just sat there staring at you feeling helpless not knowing how to help you in any way. With all the staring he did, he noticed your hand discreetly slipping in your back pocket and pulling out your favorite pair of scissors that you carried everywhere with you. He felt fearful for your safety ad attempted to say something but was cut of by something extraordinary happening

On the other hand , the only thing you could think about was how to get out of there before-

A teenage girl around yours and Peter age shot out of the egg before you were even able to finish your thoughts

Everyone stood around you and the girl , obvious confusion showing on their faces.

Everything was evolving so fast though and they had time to ask no questions, since when you listened to the screeches from outside the tower , the scissors in your hand got turned to a pair of beautiful swords

You were out of the tower and defeated the monster in a very skillful and efficient way.

After you were done , the monster was slayed ad the girl freed , you returned to the avengers

Clint noticed your subtle limbing and thought about how strong you were unbeknownst to them, and how they had insisted on babying you

Clint had taken you to a cute coffee shop , to buy you some chocolate( he of course couldn't buy you coffee, you are just a baby) and some much needed caffeine in any kind for himself

Him and the other avengers had agreed that new York was just too dangerous for you to walk alone and had decide that each day one of them would take you to school and of of it just to keep you safe

You of course noticed the man coming through the door and you instantly knew you were in danger

You quietly informed Clint about the face. The man quickly pushed you behind his back, not aware yet of what the problem was.

It turned out you were right and he prevented an armed robbery that da while you went to school late and holding some macdonalds.

They never really wondered how you knew you were in danger only ever discussing about how it is actually even more dangerous than they thought outside

On that note Tony placed a tracker on your pai of shoes and favorite jacket, not wanting to let you get hurt.

Peter was obviously worried about you but he felt other things too

First of all he felt relief because now at least they knew what was harming you and could figure out ways to stop it

On the other hand he was a bit turned on by you

They all gathered around you , while Tony had already tasked Friday to analyze the whole video and find out was is happening

They once again began babying you , fretting over your situation and minor injuries

A lot of questions were asked that day and by the end of the interrogation conversation you were left exhausted and fell asleep on the couch

The team of course considered that super cute and Wanda snapped a few pictures of your sleeping form with your favorite blanket placed over you .

Then it was time for their grown up talk , that included everyone but you

' ok, I felt the magic coming out of this monster, but it also radiated of her too. Those swords may be the source of it all'

Wanda explained to the team. They all talked about you for hours , unable to decide how to handle the situation

If you think that them knowing about you being powerful and capable, made them any more attentive and worried , you are wrong. If anything everything intensified since now they knew you were in harm's way.......

This is for @slaymbo <3 who keeps me productive:)

[wisteriaw0rld]

Can I request a semi-part 2 for Zohakuten x Reader where the clones invite Reader over for dinner/a hangout, which leads to the Clones becoming closer to Reader (platonically), making Zohakuten jealous cause less of Reader’s attention is on him now. Baby just wants his alone time with Reader 😭

-ˋˏ ༻zohakuten x reader༺ ˎˊ-

||synopsis: Zohakuten was quick to assume that after the first few incidents occurred of the clones interrupting his time with you, they’d eventually get bored and leave the two of you alone again. He was wrong. Very wrong. No wonder he kept you a secret from them. (fem! reader) - (thank you for requesting<;3)

“You say you miss me and I wanna say I miss you so much”  -Lana Del Rey

From the first time you met the clones, you had genuinely gotten a little scared of them. The green eyed and yellow eyed ones acted carelessly with you, despite knowing of your fragility compared to them. As for the anger one, he was simply just ill-mannered 

The only one you seemed to get along with was Aizetsu. And Zohakuten already felt a slight pang of jealousy whenever you hung out with him. Zohakuten knew you wouldn’t leave him. Not when you were constantly clinging to him. He simply found it hard to watch you get along with the other clones. 

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“A what?” You asked with a confused face while staring up at the sorrow demon in front of you. 

“A dinner.” He stated once more, in his usual sad voice. Upon hearing the same answer you only got even more confused. A dinner? With all the other clones?

“But I thought demons don’t eat human food.” You questioned Aizetsu, tilting your head to the side in a confused manner. Aizetsu simply nodded, confirming your statement.

“We’ll cook for you. We stole a cook book for you from the last family we…” Aizetsu trailed off, not exactly understanding how to tell a human that he slaughtered another human family just for a cook book.

“Yeah, alright. So when did you say to come over for dinner?” You questioned, laughing at Aizetsu’s inexperience of talking to a human.

“Later tonight.” He replied with his usual sad smile. “Now I have to go before Zohakuten comes. I’ll come back to pick you up.” Aizetsu gave you a small head pat before disappearing into the woods. You smiled, hoping to actually learn more about the other clones and get less fearful around them. 

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A visible frown formed on your lips at the putrid smell coming from the small bowl of what was supposed to be soup. You looked up hesitantly at Sekido who had made the soup for you. He was wearing a small Chef hat given to him by Urogi. 

“Hah! I told you she wouldn’t like your cooking!” Karaku teased while nudging Sekido. From what Aizetsu told you, Karaku made the soup for you, Karaku and Urogi made the bread, and Aizetsu had simply made a juice for you. And you were so ready to wash down the soup if you desperately needed to.

“She hasn’t even tried it yet!” Sekido argued back while nudging Karaku back harder.

You mentally sighed to yourself as you got a spoonful of the soup. The disgusting smell filled your lungs. The soup itself didn’t look bad. It just smelled bad. Really bad.

Despite not at all wanting to take a single sip of the soup, you looked up again feeling bad if you didn’t. Aizetsu gave a small thumbs up as you quickly shoved the spoon into your mouth.

You paused. It didn’t taste bad. In fact, it had actually tasted really good. The moment you your eyes lit up at the taste, Sekido smiled at Karaku being proven wrong. 

“I told you she’d like it!” Sekido yelled in triumph while you let out a small laugh. 

Suddenly, you heard another person enter the room. Looking over, you saw Zohakuten enter. The moment he noticed you he seemed shocked that you were even there to begin with. “Y/n?” He asked looking over at you before looking at the others, each of them either wearing a chef hat or an apron.

An annoyed sigh left Zohakuten as he was just about to leave to visit you in the usual spot. But seems like you were already here. Without any words, Zohakuten walked over to you, grabbing your hand in his own and pulling you over to the room he had been in.

“Y/n why are you here with them?” He asked while his grip on your hand slowly got tighter. Just by the way he had been acting, you could tell he was a little jealous. 

“They invited me over for dinner. It felt rude to pass up the offer..” You responded, making Zohakuten turn his gaze to the shoji door.

You look around the room before finally choosing to sit down in the tatami cushion on the floor. Zohakuten took a seat next you, whispering a small apology as if you were forced to come here.

“Don’t worry about it, they seem nice.” You put your head down gently in his shoulder. You felt him stiffen for a few moments before relaxing once more. Only a few seconds later, you heard the shoji door behind the two of you slide open.

“Y/n! You didn’t try my bread yet!” Karaku intruded, hoisting you up to walk you out of the room. You gave an apologetic look to Zohakuten as he just silently glared daggers at the other clone.

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You thought that the moment you were done with eating the bread they prepared, your time with them would end and you would go back to Zohakuten.

But the moment you finished the bread, you saw Aizetsu. And his hair was a mess. You offered to brush it quickly to return to Zohakuten right after. 

“You really didn’t have to do this. He’s probably looking for you..” Aizetsu told you while sitting criss cross on the floor as you gently brushed through his tangled hair.

“AIZETSU!-” Urogi burst through the door, Karaku following close behind. The moment Urogi saw you brushing Aizetsu’s hair, he let out a loud and joyful gasp.

“Hey! Brush my hair too!“ He yelled enthusiastically, taking a seat next to Aizetsu while you let out a small laugh. Soon enough, Karaku joined, taking a seat in front of you as well.

You nodded with a small smile, thankfully the two didn’t have much tangled hair which made it easier and faster to brush. That was until Sekido also walked into the room, confused at what was going on. Before he could get a word out, Karaku dragged him over to sit in front of you.

Without a doubt he had tangled hair. Which wasn’t much of a shock. Eventually you came across a large tangle which you didn’t mind brushing through. While brushing, your body jolted at the shoji door making a loud bank as it was slid open. Showing Zohakuten.

Who obviously didn’t seem to happy to see you with the others. Silently, he walked over, grabbing your hand making you drop the brush on the floor.

“Hey, she was just about to brush mine again!” Karaku whined. Almost immediately, Zohakuten grabbed the brush off the floor and smacked the back of it against Karaku’s head.

He muttered a small shut up before he intertwined his fingers with yours, walking you out of the room and sliding the door shut.

“Sorry, I got distracted..” You told Zohakuten as you finally entered the room you were in earlier. He took a seat in the same tatami cushion as earlier. He pulled you gently by his side, your head soon after falling gently onto his shoulder once again. 

It didn’t take long for Zohakuten to then lay his head on yours, you falling asleep short after. 

He wasn’t able to sleep, no demons were. But he closes his eyes, enjoying the moment with you as the smallest blush dusted his cheeks.

Even with his eyes closed, he could tell all four of the clones were peeking through the small opening of the door. He didn’t mind. At first. Then he opened his eyes, shooting a glare at the clones while Aizetsu just hurriedly closed the door. At least he would finally get some time with you.

[luna-writes-stuff]

Angel, Castiel

Song link

Fanfic, gn! reader

Hurt/comfort, s8 e22

Word count: 2935

Tw: Very s8 centric. Mentions and descriptions of injuries. Established relationship, but can be read as platonic! Swearing. I wrote this fic, what did you expect?

Summary: Yes, Castiel is an angel - in every definition of the word - but what if he needs help? What if you need to be his angel for once?

Buy me a coffee/force me to write more

“Angel, put sad wings around me now. Protect me from this world of sin so that we can rise again.”

Metatron was…certainly something. Sitting in the backseat of Baby as Dean was driving back to the bunker made you think of everything you had seen that day. For someone with such a reputation, Metatron was just some guy. You had trouble deciphering him. With most angels it was easy to figure out their goals, but Metatron had been something different. You didn’t know whether to keep your eyes on him or get as far away from him as possible.

You were rudely jerked from your thoughts when the car suddenly swerved, causing you to cling to the chair in front of you for dear life. As the car turned to block the road, it came to a screeching halt, causing you to let out a heavy sigh.

“What the hell, Dean?!” You shouted, your heart pounding in your throat. You were ignored by both the brothers, who quickly got out of the car. You followed suit, shooting an accusing glance at Dean, but his eyes weren’t on you. They were on the figure laying on the road in front of you.

“Holy shit,” You gasped, immediately running towards the angel, kneeling down beside him. “Cas?” His bloodied hand was quick to grab yours, squeezing it tightly. “I think I might need some help,” he groaned out. “Yeah, no shit.” You commented, helping him rest his arm over your shoulder before clumsily pulling him up. His full body weight rested against you, and for once you were great full for keeping up on fitness while hunting with the Winchesters.

“Oh, Angel, we can find our way somehow. Escaping from the world we're in to a place where we began.”

After Sam helped you haul the beaten angel into the backseat, you heaved a sigh of relief, looking at him through the window in worry. “What could have happened to him?” You wondered aloud, a question which Dean just grunted to. “Who knows. Just gotta get him somewhere safe, then get him out.”

You raised your eyebrows at him as he spoke those words, leaning over the car to look at Dean: “Yeah, ignore the fact that he’s your friend.” “Last time I checked, he betrayed us. Again.” He protested, putting emphasis on the ‘again’. Before you could even try to justify anything, Dean had disappeared into the car, leaving you outside with Sam. You cast him a confused look, but he simply shrugged, his eyes set in slight sympathy. “Just leave it.”

The second the both of you had gotten into the car, Dean had begun driving again, the music now creating an almost uncomfortable ambiance in the car. Castiel stared ahead blankly, clutching his stomach tightly. Instinctively, your hand reached for his, trying to see the damage. “I’ll live.” He dismissed, lowering your hand. “I know,” you muttered. “I just want to see.” He didn’t answer you. Instead, he kept your hand in his, refusing to let it go. You opted to leave it at that. You’d help him when you reached the bunker.

Only a few minutes later, you were surprised to feel a sudden weight on your shoulder, Castiel’s heavy head laying there comfortable. With a spiked heartbeat, you went to look for his pulse. Before you could reach, though, you felt his hot breath on your neck, letting you know that he was still alive.

“Did he really just doze off back there?” Sam asked, turning his head when he heard your shifting. You turned your lips downwards in a hesitant manner, unable to see the angel’s face. Sam’s expressions were enough to tell you that he had indeed fallen asleep. You just left him there.

“And I know we'll find a better place and piece of mind. Just tell me that it's all you want, for you and me. Angel, won't you set me free?”

When you reached the bunker, you and Sam had placed him in his bedroom - although he rarely used it. You had spent the night trying to stitch up the remaining wounds, noting how slowly they were healing. You didn’t have the heart to wake him up and ask them about it. So, after two hours, you left the room. Castiel knew where to find you if he had the need to. And you knew he’d be fine for the night.

Sleep, however, was hard to come by that night. You managed to maybe sneak in three or four hours, but the rest was spent staring at the ceiling or getting lost in yet another lore book. Some things were simply handy to know.

You didn’t know the exact time he walked in, but you had already heard Sam in the hall: he was always awake earliest. Three short knocks came from your door, before it opened slightly. “‘Morning, Cas.” You mumbled, sitting up lazily. Even if you hadn’t been sleeping, it was exhausting to get out of bed. As you sat up, he walked in, leaving the door open. “I wanted to thank you for stitching me up,” He spoke, before lifting his shirt, showing you the wound on his stomach. It had healed significantly over night, but it wasn’t gone yet. “Something keeps it from healing fully.” He announced, noting your worried gaze.

“Something we need to worry about?” You asked groggily, swinging your feet over the side of your bed, before sauntering up to him, observing the wound from closer. “I don’t think so,” He guessed, hissing lightly as you traced your fingers next to the stitches gently. You took your hand back immediately. “Some food would do you good.” You tried, walking through the door before looking back, waiting for him to follow you.

“I am a celestial being. I do not require food.” The angel stated, as if this was new information entirely to you. “I know, Cas,” You chuckled. “It was just an invitation for you to join me.” “Oh,” Cas breathed. “Okay.”

“Angel, remember how we chased the sun. Then reaching for the stars at night as our lives had just begun.”

Before waltzing into the kitchen, you wanted to check up on the Winchesters. A whole lot of information got dumped on you yesterday, and you were wondering if they were making something similar to process. However, as you walked into the entry hall, Dean seemed to notice the pair of you, rounding off his conversation with Sam: “Well, I’ll go get you some grub. Keep your strength up.” Then, he walked past you and Cas, without as much as an acknowledgement. You rolled your eyes at him, but walked towards Sam all the same.

“‘Morning.” Cas announced as he followed you, unsure of what to do. When Sam spared him a polite nod, he took it as a signal to keep talking: “I like this bunker. It’s orderly.” “Well, give us a few months,” Sam sighed. “Dean wants to get a ping-pong table.” “Heard of that,” Cas nodded, looking at you for confirmation. “It’s a game, right?” You just smiled at him, affirming his question.

When he went to sit down, he groaned briefly, clutching his stomach. You winced at the sight, not sure if you had to help him or not. “You okay?” Sam asked, noting his discomfort. “My wound isn’t healing as quickly as I’d hoped. But I am getting better,” The angel reassured, finally sitting down. You stood behind him, a notion that went surprisingly natural. "And you’re getting worse.” Cas continued.

Sam formed his lips in a thin line at that, nodding uncomfortably. “Well, two trials down, one to go.” “And the final test, you know what it is?” You had to laugh slightly at that, still flabbergasted from the words spoken a day before. “I have to cure a demon.” Sam answered, the same humour in his tone as your face held. “Of what?” Castiel asked, seemingly not catching the lightened atmosphere. Sam’s face fell slightly, his eyes falling back on the book. “That’s what we’re trying to figure out.”

“When I close my eyes, I hear your velvet wings and cry. I'm waiting here with open arms. Oh, can't you see? Angel, shine your light on me.”

“Soup’s on,” Dean announced to his brother, walking back into the room with a tray of…random condiments. “Here we go. I think this is…” He halted briefly, sipping the beer on the tray. “It’s still good.” He concluded, placing the bottle back down. “A half-drunk beer, jerky and three peanut butter cups?” Sam named as he looked at his brother with a small smile. “Yeah, we’re running a little low,” Dean hummed, observing the tray with light disappointment. Again, he walked past you as if you weren’t in the room at all: “I’ll make a run.”

Cas rose from his seat, your arm shooting out to help him. Before Dean could even get on the stairs, the angel’s voice cut through the room: “Dean, I can go with you.”

The Winchester looked at him, his face surprisingly neutral, though he didn’t look pleased. At least he was acknowledging Castiel now. "Dean,” He began. “I’m sorry.” “For what?” The man asked, his expression now turning slightly sour. You did not like the change. “For everything.” “Everything?” Dean repeated, his voice almost mocking. “Like, uh, ignoring us?”

Castiel was silent for a moment, looking at you, lost for words. You didn’t quite know what to tell him, so you remained silent. “Yes.” The angel answered honestly. “Or like bolting off with the angel tablet, then losing it? Because you didn’t trust me?” Dean interrupted. “You didn’t trust me?” “Yes.”

“Yeah,” Dean almost laughed. “No, that’s not gonna cut it. Not this time. So you can take your little apology and you cram it up your ass.” “Seriously?” You countered, almost embarrassed at his words. “Dean, I thought I was doing the right thing.” Castiel tried to defend, but the hunter simply shrugged it off. “Yeah, you always do.”

An awkward cough came from the other side of the room, all eyes now falling on Sam: “Hey, do we have a room 7B?”

“Angel, we'll meet once more, I'll pray. When all my sins are washed away.”

As the two Winchesters left for a certain room 7B, you and Castiel remained stranded in the entry hall. “You know how he gets,” You tried to comfort. “I’m sure he’ll be fine later.” “He’s right to be upset.” Castiel confessed, something you didn’t wholly disagree with, but yet something you didn’t feel exactly similar to. “I betrayed you. Again. I don’t understand how it does not upset you.”

A long sigh came from you as you turned your head to the side: “It does.” You admitted. Noticing his face fall slightly, you forced a sympathetic smile. “Castiel, I know you’re trying to do what’s best.” You told him. “We’re not always on the right side of history either.” “Well, you haven’t betrayed legions of angels and toyed with mankind.” “No…” You trailed off hesitantly. “But making mistakes is a human thing to do.”

“I am not-“ “Yes, Castiel,” You interrupted, unable to resist the grin growing on your face as you noted his everlasting neutral expression. “I am aware that you are now human. I’m just saying that I understand.” He just nodded in understanding, his eyes wandering to the hallways Dean and Sam had just disappeared through. “Are you not angry?” He asked, his eyes not meeting yours.

Were you not angry at him? Perhaps. But betrayed most of all. You figured he’d trust you after everything you had been through, so to see him run off with that angel tablet had definitely upset you. Even when not telling Sam and Dean everything, he’d always talk with you. The whole ordeal had seemed to be some kind of stab in the back, even though you knew he never meant to cause anyone harm. But you wouldn’t lie to him now. Even if you did, he’d know. Thus, you settled on telling him the truth:

“Of course I am. But you were bleeding out on a road and fell asleep in the backseat of Dean’s car,” You voice shifted octave as you pointed to his stomach, still taken aback by the fact it hadn’t been healing completely.

“I am more concerned than angry now.”

“Hold me inside your wings and stay.”

Castiel exhaled audibly, now finally looking back at you. “I tried to help.” He spoke. “I know.” You comforted, knowing he didn’t have it in himself to hurt you or the Winchesters on purpose.

“If you had the angel tablet, they would have come after you.” He went on, his shoulders drooping slightly. “Cas,” You called, but the angel opened his mouth to speak again. “Cas, I understand,” You halted him. “You don’t have to convince me.” Closing his mouth, he gave a curt nod: “I didn’t want to see you hurt.”

“I know,” You repeated, looking at him as you pondered on what to say next. “You know what your problem is? You are trying so hard to satisfy everyone; your siblings, humans, us. You can’t make everyone happy.” “I want to fix things.” Castiel agreed, responding almost immediately. “With heaven and with you…with everyone.” “You can’t fix everything. Sometimes you have to choose sides.”

With those words spoken, you realised how it had sounded. Shaking your head at the statement, you held your hands up, correcting yourself: “I’m not asking you to pick me or the Winchesters. I’d like it if you did, but I’d understand if you want to help your siblings.”

Castiel’s expression seemed to soften at your words. For a celestial being, it had certainly become easier to read him the longer you had been around him. “I’m not sure Sam and Dean would appreciate that.” He mumbled, though visibly thinking over what you had just said. Ripping him out of his thoughts, you grabbed his upper arm, rubbing it slightly until he was focused again.

“Well, they’re not here.”

“Oh, angel, take me far away. Put sad wings around me now.”

However you had tried to help him, it was still clear there was conflict in his eyes. Part of you wondered if he would have come back to you had he not been injured. If he hadn’t been attacked, would he still have sought you out? Or would he have run off on his own path? Would that always exclude you?

You noticed your own attention fading, and how Castiel had still been hanging onto your every word. Thus, you returned to your previous point, blinking twice to clear the situation: “I don’t think the angels would like it if you ran off with us.” “That is correct,” He hummed, then - once more - falling silent.

“It’s the lesser of two evils here, Cas.” You tried to sympathise. “You’re not evil.” He argued, and you resisted the urge to face-palm at his literal understanding. “It’s a-“ But you cut yourself off halfway. “Forget it. You don’t have to choose right now. Figure it out.”

Then, you turned around pointing at Sam’s barely touched tray of condiments. “I’m going to get these two idiots something to eat. Something that’s not liquid and has ‘beer’ written on the label.”

“Angel, take me far away. Put sad wings around me now, so that we can rise again.”

“I’ll join you.” Cas offered, already walking up to you. Then, he suddenly stopped, his voice now hesitant. “If that’s okay.” You just shrugged at him, grabbing your coat from one of the chairs. “Yeah, sure.”

Turning towards the stairs, you checked your pockets for the keys, continuing your steps when you found them. However, before you could reach the first step, Castiel’s voice halted you once more: “Wait.”

Your head turned to look over your shoulder, a concerned expression visible to him. “What’s wrong?” When you saw him nearing you, you turned your body fully around, scared something had happened, and your brain automatically raised to the worst possible situation. It tended to do that around him and the Winchesters.

You had expected a multitude of things, but not for him to suddenly wrap his arms around you, pulling you into a hug. Lately, he had been becoming more physically affectionate, a likely side-effect from hanging out around humans, but the motion still took you by surprise. Be that as it may, you returned the embrace happily.

“Put sad wings around me now. Angel, take me far away.”

“I’m sorry.” He apologised, his hands coming to a neutral rest on your back as he held you close. Your heart broke slightly at his words, but you didn’t show it. Instead, your hands gripped the back of his coat tightly, holding onto it in comfort.

“It’s okay, Cas,” You mumbled. “I forgive you.”

You had no way of knowing this, nor seeing this, but had any other celestial being been in the room, they would have been able to see Castiel’s wings wrap around your figure almost protectively, sheltered in a safe cocoon, something that he seemed to do a lot with you around. But with no one around to notice, it hadn’t mattered to him.

“Thank you.” He whispered, before parting from you, his wings giving you enough space to move - even though you wouldn’t know. You didn’t know you had a literal angel watching over you. Maybe that was for the best for now.

“Put sad wings around me now, so that we can rise again.”

[ask-spooky-manor]

Toby, Jeff, and Clockwork Friendship Headcanons ✨✨

- They’re childhood friends! They met as kids and were thick as thieves until both Jeff and Natalie moved away from Colorado only to find each other again in the manor.

- They are all individually smart people but when put in a room together it’s like their brain cells cancel out and they become the dumbest, most reckless people you ever meet.

- To be more specific, Toby and Natalie are like “let’s do this thing that will get us in trouble.” Jeff tries to be the responsible one only to get himself roped in as well.

- They’re all very cuddly and physically affectionate, and it had lead to people assuming they at least two of them, if not all three of them are together.

- Toby and Natalie did actually date for a bit when they were like 12, but they simply realized that they work better as friends.

- They were each other’s first kiss, and they both still look back on that one memory fondly. The light happiness knowing the first kiss was by someone who loves them. Platonic love sure, but it’s still love. That means something to both of them.

- Toby and Jeff also had an awkward period of “do I just like him as a friend or is it something more?” It did ultimately end up being platonic feelings. It was just a matter of neither of them having had a healthy connection with a peer before, so it was confusing for a while.

- Fights are rare between the three of them mainly because once they do get in one, it’s easy to break the tension. Normally because one of them says something dumb that makes the other two laugh and then all is good.

- They started a band in middle school. It was Toby’s idea and despite the other two not being all that passionate about music, they agreed for Toby’s sake. It only lasted a week, but they did get to perform at the school’s talent show at least.

- Their love language for each other is bullying. They can literally throw the nastiest insults to each other. But don’t act like you can do that same cause they will most likely beat you up for it.

- To this day, Jeff and Natalie are very protective of Toby since he was the target of some really intense bullying back in school. It’s actually the source of some of those rare conflicts as Toby has felt like they baby him despite the fact that he is very capable of taking care of himself.

- They have a matching pokeball tattoo because the three of them first met and bonded over their love of Pokemon.

[shinakazami1]

I’ve received notice that there was a callout on me in the Stanley Parable Creator’s Club server and I would like to address it as I am a bit tired of people talking behind my back. I wasn't contacted by anyone from the server directly about the issue. 

The specific accusations were that I openly discussed a fic with NSFW themes to a minor, shared NSFW fic online without properly warning it for minors, and encouraged a self insert ship of one of my Narrator designs with a minor. 

These accusations are false, or blown entirely out of proportion. I have never intended to hurt people nor endanger minors and based on screenshots I've received, people have been spreading even more extreme misinformations, like me being a groomer. I want to tell the story with the mentioned earlier things, in hopes to clear up this matter and stop the harassment me and people received. 

1) Sharing NSFW Fic Online

I have been informed that I posted a link to my fic, "A broken promise", without a proper warning. 

I did put appropriate warning in the tags, however I did forget about archive warnings options and I misjudged that the T rating would suffice. I also had only mentioned the rape in tags and not in the ao3 warning. I will be more careful when publishing work in the future.

I've deleted the links on my posts and privated the work, as I do not want anyone else to get possibly harmed.

2) Filk

I was informed my never written fic was discussed in the discord as well with a completely incorrect premise and I would like to mention the idea to give people more insight into what it actually is supposed to be, despite the fact that it was never actually written. 

Filk (Fernator's milk) is based on a joke someone made from another fic of mine, "Bon appetit 1.5 - Chicken soup is served " where Stanley buys milk and pickles, and we called it pilk. Somebody made a joke that this is like a pregnancy craving and I decided that that would make a funny CRACK fic premise. Again, I never have written this fic, and the only place it ever existed was in a series of messages in a private discord.

The whole point of crack fics is that it has a stupid premise. In here, it was one of my Narrator's, Fernator, telling Stanley he would make him pregnant. I know that this sounds like the problem, but that was just a premise.

What really happens in the fic is that Fernator tells Stanley about human reproduction but after that, the majority of the fic is a sfw adventure on how viruses, bacteria, and plants reproduce. 

With bacteria, Stanley just gets copied, with viruses, Fernator creates a computer virus and it doesn't work so they move on, and with plant, the title filk comes in which is milk with fern spores in it. It ends up just in Stanley's foot. The end goal was for them to just get the cutout Baby as their child and then, the main fic that I talked about would end. After a while, they would realise they didn't really succeed and would try to make something, pouring filk onto Fernator and creating Pickle Rick.

The accusations of this being a non con confuse me as Stanley is happy to be brought onto this journey and there are no actual sexual activities involved in this not written project. 

3) Art with minor

One person was very supportive of one of my Narrators, Jester (they drew him a bit), and even started to call him their husband. Since they're my friend, I wanted to make them happy, so I drew something I deemed wholesome and platonic. They also took my drawing this way. 

In my eyes at the time, when I made the art, I never thought of this 'ship' as anything other than admiration for a design. 

However, that context got lost when they reposted my art on that server with my permission. 

I now see how people could think otherwise and I will be far more wary about this topic in the future.

However, while the announcement didn't use the exact word 'groomer', it highly implied it. I feel wronged for that as I received a lot of harassment in my direct messages. 

I would like a statement and an apology from the announcers because their words caused a lot of harm.

4) Conclusion

I want to finish this off with being honest about the mistakes I've made of not properly checking sfw spaces - which started all this - and talking about suggestive matters within them. The fanfiction link was certainly a slip up but I will be more careful in the future of what I post. 

However - I also want to say that it's not okay to harass people who got involved in this.

I myself have received false accusations already and seen my work be misinterpreted. I only learnt about this through buds giving me a notice and I do ask, if a similar situation would ever occur, which I don't plan on, to message me directly first about my mistake.

In the future, I will remember to double check where I discuss my fic ideas and I'll do everything in my power for this situation not to repeat. 

Thank you for reading.

[0nlythrowharrybeaux]

Young American Finale ^**

AHHHH THE FINALE IS HERE. I had such a hard time finishing this because I think I wasn't ready for it to end, but thus it had to. I hope you guys love this part. A lot happens and of course, the happiest ending for our lovely couple and their little angel of a baby boy 👼🏻

Series Masterlist

Warnings: descriptions of abusive relationships (verbal/emotional). Descriptions of personality disorder (Borderline Personality Disorder specifically). Descriptions of pregnancy. Fingering and oral sex (fem receiving), use of sex toys, sex (p in v, unprotected), breeding kink, multiple/forced orgasms. Descriptions of labor and delivery process.

WC: 23K

A little recap....

Y/N finds out that Harry has been hanging out with and talking to his ex-girlfriend Chloe for a few weeks. He has been acting very sketchy about it. So at the Sunday roast they are hosting, she borrows his phone and decides to give Chloe a call. Harry gets suspicious and decides to follow her in and finds out she's contacted Chloe...

“Baby, can I use your phone?” Y/N asked as she came up to him and he suddenly felt concern come over him.

“Ummm why? For what?” He asked right away and immediately regretted it because it sounded suspicious. Or maybe he was just being super paranoid.

“I can’t seem to find mine and I was supposed to call G, he wanted to run through his anniversary dinner plans with his man.” She explained. “I just want to find it, I’m gonna call from mine, don’t worry.” She assured and he bit his lip and nodded.

“Ummm sure. Yeah, of course.” He replied and handed it over. She grabbed it and typed in his password but it was wrong and she glanced up to him in confusion, “Oh, sorry forgot to mention I changed it. Archie knew it and downloaded a shitload of games on it and-”

“It’s fine, Harry.” She smiled, “You don’t need to justify it to me. I trust you.” She said looking deep in his eyes, but there was something in them that made him distrust her words and he frowned a bit.

“Right.” He chuckled and he took it and typed in the password and handed it over.

“Thanks. I’m gonna go look for my phone.” She said and headed inside.

Harry felt so unsettled that Y/N had his phone. He knew Y/N had seen the text Chloe had sent him after the first time they hung out after the cycling class. But she didn’t seem upset or even bring it up again, he hadn’t meant to hide it, but if she didn’t read into it then he was just not going to bring it up. And he really did intend on just closing the door with Chloe, but she was going through a lot and well he had been looking for something to do with his time, so he figured being a friend to her wouldn’t be a bad thing. So they kept hanging out and doing stuff around town. It was completely platonic. He hadn’t given Y/N any reason not to trust him in the past, and well he just…didn’t want to relive the horrors of that relationship with Y/N. Once Chloe got through her rough patch he’d just tell her that they couldn’t be friends. That was genuinely his plan, but he had been so wrapped up in her that he hadn’t realized that just being around her was changing him, the effects were so quick that he was oblivious to them. 

He had been lost in the chatter until he realized that Y/N hadn’t brought his phone back for a while. It made him feel on edge, so much so that he quite literally chugged the beer before him and stood up abruptly, startling Skye.

“Alright, mate?” He asked and Harry nodded.

“Yeah, just gonna grab another beer. Anyone else want one?” He asked and his uncle, Julie, and Skye all said yes.

“So you’re drinking again? What happened to solidarity?” Gemma asked and he frowned a bit. He had been drinking again…he didn’t know why that hadn’t really clicked until someone mentioned it to him.

“S’only been two.” He said.

“Try 3.” Gemma said and he looked at her incredulously until he glanced down at the spot before him and saw that he had in fact polished of his 3rd beer already. 

“Those are not all mine. We’ve all been drinking.” He said and immediately Gemma and Alyssa exchanged a look of concern. 

“No mate, those are yours.” Skye confirmed and everyone laughed a bit and Harry frowned, suddenly feeling really defensive that everyone was laughing at him, “Well, fine. No more for me then. Should I still bring you lot another?” He asked and they nodded. “Coming right up. M’also gonna check on Y/N, she’s been gone too long.” He said and headed inside. 

Now he was feeling conflicted and attacked and anxious. He beelined for their current bedroom and the door was closed. And when he tried to open it he found it was locked. He exhaled, jaw taut as he swallowed down the lump in his throat as he tried to listen for any sounds and could hear her muffled speaking.

“Open the door, Y/N.” He said through the wood. It took a few moments before the door opened. It worried him that he couldn’t really decipher the look in her eyes, but all he needed to know was that it wasn’t good. “Who were you talking to?” He asked and she looked at him for a second.

“Does it matter?”

“It does. You said you were going to talk to G and if you weren’t then why did you lie about it?” He questioned her. Just then his phone started ringing and she glanced down to it. She turned the phone towards him and his expression went blank and he swore that all of the blood in his body rushed down to his feet making him feel dizzy and out of sorts.

“Do you want to answer her or should I?” Y/N asked and he didn’t say anything, “I should warn you that I think she’s still calling for me so she might get a bit rude with you.” She said calmly and when he just stood there she shook her head and sighed as she handed the phone over and started to get around him to exit the room.

“What did she say to you?” He asked and she sighed.

“It doesn’t matter, I didn’t believe half the things she accused you of, she’s clearly psychologically unwell-”

“That’s rude of you to say, she’s just going through a hard time.” He said with a frown and Y/N sighed.

“I think she’s fine. She’s just a liar, Harry.”

“Why would she lie about anything that she’s been through?!” He asked in frustration.

“Because she knows that’s how she’ll reel you back in.” Y/N said simply and Harry frowned. 

“She doesn’t affect me like that any more. It’s not like she was going to trick me into leaving you or something! I’m not an idiot!” He snapped and she frowned.

“I didn’t say you were-”

“I was just lending an ear. It was nothing bad!” His voice was raised now in defense when she hadn’t even said one accusatory thing to him.

“If it’s nothing bad why did you go out of your way to hide this from me?” She asked and his forehead creased even deeper in frustration and he sighed and it looked like he would say something but after about a minute of standing there in silence he didn’t say anything more. “OK, well I’m just going to head back outside.” She said quietly and before she could make it out he grabbed her arm.

“I know you saw the first text she sent me. You were looking through my phone. Why were you even looking through my phone?!” He questioned her as he stood in front of the door now.

“I was trying to see if Eddie had good news! After the morning we’d had I just wanted to share some good news with you. And we always look at each other’s phones! It had never been a problem before so I just assumed it was fine to look at your phone.”

“So you saw it, meaning that you’ve known about Chloe since then and you never brought it up. Why didn’t you bring it up if it bugged you? Were you trying to collect evidence against me so you can hold it over my head or leave me?” He asked and she looked at him like he was absolutely mad.

“Where is this about me leaving you even coming from?” She asked him, “I didn’t say anything because up until I saw that message I believed that you had lost track of time and somehow walked all the way to SOHO! I was confused about how I felt and when I started to doubt you I decide to trust you instead and hoped that you would do the right thing. The mature thing and take ownership of your actions and tell me yourself! And when you didn’t bring it up the next day I wanted to show you the message and ask you for clarification but you had deleted it!” She said and his eyes softened a bit.

“There was nothing for me to bring up anymore and I thought that…maybe it was just a quick run in…worst case scenario, a spontaneous and regretful hook up!” She explained and Harry looked hurt that she even thought that, “But then you kept hiding things and lying and I knew you would keep lying about it. I’m really sorry if you feel like I invaded your privacy today, but you’ve been deliberately lying to me for weeks and I’ve been going fucking crazy between deciding if I wanted to know what was going on or not! But then I realized that I couldn’t bear to hear something bad from you, so I decided to hear it from her if something was going on.” She said with tearful eyes but she wasn’t going to let a singe tear fall, “And I don’t know why you decided to lie to me, Harry. But if she still means something to you and you wanted her back in your life I would’ve tried to understand. But after all the sneaking around and now that I’ve spoken to her and have heard the way she’s talked about you and the things she’s said about you. Your supposed friend by the way, I don’t want her near you, me, or our baby, ever.” She said firmly and Harry swallowed thickly. “Can I go now?” She asked and he let her go and moved to the side.

“Are you angry at me?” He asked softly and she sighed as she stopped at the door.

“Angry doesn’t even begin to cover it.” She responded

“You have every right to be, but I swear I was just listening to her problems, it was absolutely nothing other than that and-”

“I know. We’re not done talking about this though. We should deal with this when everyone goes.” She said.

“I love you so much and I’m really sorry for all of this.” He apologized.

“Thank you for apologizing.” She said quietly and he nodded.

“Not gonna forgive me though?” He asked as he took her hands and the fact that she let him was a good sign.

“Obviously I will, but I’m still angry at you and I…don’t want to forgive you without clearing things up.” She said sincerely and he chuckled a bit, “I’m being serious.” She pouted and he nodded.

“I know, my love.” He assured, “I’m not laughing at you, s’just a nervous thing.” He said and she shook her head.

“I think I just want to understand why you…went through all these lengths for her before I can move on from this.” She explained her reasoning and he frowned.

“Baby, I can clarify how this even happened but I ummm…I don’t want to talk about why this happened.” He said to her.

“OK, but you need to so that we can clear this up.” She said and he shook his head.

“I can’t. I won’t.” He said to her with certainty and out of every emotion under the sun, the one radiating the strongest off of him was fear. He was afraid to talk about this with her.

“I get that it might be painful and hard to explain it but…whether you’re ready to hear this or not, she was in your head, Harry. She’d gotten in your head and a few more weeks of this and who knows where you’d be!” She explained anxiously.

“How can you even say that?” He asked, fully offended. “I wouldn’t betray you ever! Or just leave you!” He scoffed.

“Maybe not the you that I’ve shared all of this with, but that’s what you were doing though…” she said and he tore his hands from hers, “You were pulling away and you’ve been really weird and cold and dry…like how you were before and…well you’ve been drinking a lot more than your normal, and-”

“STOP IT!” He shouted out of nowhere and she just shut her mouth and he exhaled shakily and licked over his lips as he calmed down for a second, “I understand that I owe you an apology, but you’re not getting an explanation.” He said voice soft but his tone was decisive, his eyes locked intensely on hers. “Do you understand?” He asked and she felt patronized at his question and she shook her head.

“I can’t accept that, Harry.” Y/N responded. “In order to rebuild the trust that’s been broken we need to talk-”

“Well trust me now when I tell you that discussing Chloe and I is not something that will help anything. I won’t talk to her again. It’s all in the past and it’s not going to make a difference now so get it out of your head. Please.” He implored.

“It’ll make a difference to me. Because I need to be sure that this is not going to happen again. And I can hope all I want, but if there is something, some part of you that is still…vulnerable to her-”

“We’re done having this conversation.” He interrupted and walked around her to leave the bedroom. She followed after him as best as she could, but he was walking fast. She frowned when she saw him getting out of his house shoes and opening the door to the entryway.

“Harry, where are you going?” She asked in a panic.

“Maybe to go fuck Chloe and file for divorce while I’m at it!” He snapped sarcastically and she felt her tears start to fall.

“You’re being really shitty, Harry.” She sniffled, but he was so overwhelmed and he felt like she was pushing him and pressuring him to talk about something that he never intended to open up about with anyone.

“Well that’s what you probably think I’m going to do anyway, isn’t it?” He asked her with a scowl on his face and she shook her head.

“No, Harry! But running off is not going to resolve this issue!”

“Well I don’t want to be here right now with all these people while you accuse me of shit I haven’t even done!”

“I’m not accusing you of anything!” She sighed in frustration as he opened the front door, “Harry, if you leave right now I don’t want you to come back until you’re ready to face this.” She admonished and as she looked into his eyes she searched for any indication that he would soften up but he looked away.

“That’s not going to happen, so you can call me when you decide to just let this one go.” He said lowly and he heard a sob break through her throat before she just stormed off. In his stubbornness he decided to just leave. He groaned and wasn’t discrete in his exit, he slammed the door hard enough that the windows rattled a bit.

*********

Alyssa was coming inside to go to the bathroom when she heard the door slam and she rushed over to the exit and then looked out the window to see Harry stomping over to his car and getting in roughly. So she headed down the hall to the guest room only to hear Y/N sobbing loudly on the other side of the closed door. She bit on her lip nervously and decided to head out and grab Gemma. More than anyone else, she and Gemma had picked up on the recent changes to Harry’s attitude. It was all reminiscent of his time with his ex, Chloe. They had been the ones who were constantly appealing for him to just let the relationship go, to move on, to come back home…but Chloe was so deep in his head, almost thinking for him! She could manipulate him in ways that were so sinister. And god, she really hoped that Harry hadn’t been stupid enough to have seen her or sleep with her, but whatever this was, it was bad.

“Gem, can you come here for a minute?”

“Where the hell is Harry with our beers?” Her dad asked and she groaned.

“I’ll get ‘em…” Alyssa said and headed off to the kitchen to grab the beers while Gemma made her way inside.

“Do you need help with something?”

“Harry stormed out and Y/N is sobbing in the bedroom.” She said and Gemma frowned. “Can you check on her. I’ll be right there.” She said and Gemma hurried off. Alyssa then made an excuse to get everyone to go home or go hang out at the pub, which is what they all agreed on. Gemma then came back out and shared a look with Aly that told her that whatever this was needed their immediate attention, so she asked Skye to leave the car and she’d just get him from the pub before they went home and he agreed and so they all headed off and that left Aly and Gemma and Y/N in the house.

“Did you talk to her?” Aly asked as she served Y/N a glass of water.

“No, she said to give her a minute to calm down before she wanted to talk about it.” Gemma said and Aly nodded before heading back to her bedroom.

*********

“Hey guys.” Y/N sniffled as she let them in. Alyssa offered the water glass and she took it and drank some down before setting it down on the bedside table and then just sitting on the bed.

“Where did my brother go?” Gemma asked.

“I really don’t know…” she sighed as she rubbed at her eyes, “And I don’t…I don’t know what to do.” She confessed and the two women before her nodded, encouraging her to tell them what was going on. “Ummm, so like about three weeks ago we had a little argument over Harry saying he was feeling trapped at home. He was like bored out of his mind and was like trying to get me to do more stuff with him and he basically just wanted to have some fun together before the baby came. But like, I’m just achey and tired all the time and won’t be able to keep up, you know how he is.” She explained and they both chuckled and nodded, “But he had gone off to the gym to just get the need to be active out of his system and like…he was gone for hours.” She explained, “Later that night he was expecting a text from Eddie, but then when I went to go see the message another came in at the same time and I accidentally opened that text and it was from his ex-girlfriend, Chloe and it was…sketchy.” She said and both Gemma and Alyssa sighed in disappointment.

“So he’s been…seeing her?” Gemma asked and Y/N nodded firmly once.

“For the past three weeks.” Y/N confirmed. “Like…I wanted to bring up that text to him because they way she wrote it, it was like insinuating that they had…ummm-”

“HE DID NOT.” Gemma stated with a frown.

“I don’t think he did, but she just wanted to make it seem that way.” Y/N explained.

“I wouldn’t put it past her. She’s a fucking lunatic! Like completely mad.” Alyssa said and Y/N sighed.

“Yeah, she’s not well…” she agreed, “Well, anyway he deleted the text message before I could ask him about it. He never saved the number so I assumed that if anything had happened it was a one time thing and I decided that I could make peace with that. But there were more texts through the weeks and then he just started deleting them I assume because they suddenly stopped, but he’d always be gone and like he’s just not been himself.” She explained.

“Yeah, I called him out on the drinking earlier and he got so defensive.” Gemma said and Y/N sighed.

“Right, well I misplaced my phone and I asked him for his to call myself and he got really weird about me having his phone. And when he finally gave it over he had changed the password, which is strange because we’ve never been secretive with that, you know? And he…he said Archie had downloaded too many games on it so he decided to change it.” Gemma scoffed when Y/N shared that and she shrugged. “I really was just going to look for my phone but then that happened and I got suspicious so I…I called her to ask her if anything was going on because I’d rather hear it from someone I don’t know than him, you know?”

“What did she say?” Aly asked.

“Well she first pretended that she had no idea he was married and then confirmed that they’d been sleeping together. But she was being a bit inconsistent so I know she’s lying about that, but he’s been spending a lot of time with her. Harry was at the door and overheard I think, but when he came in he told me he was just being nice and trying to listen to her problems. Which I genuinely believe he was trying to be nice, but the woman is obsessed with him and clearly has ulterior motives! And he like started to defend her or whatever and I was just trying to tell him that like…if nothing bad was going on then he didn’t have to hide it and lie about it, you know? It’s just the ease at which he was willing to lie for her that’s really bothering me.” She explained with concern.

“Well of course he lied about it. There’s an unspoken rule that we don’t talk about her. Ever. She’s the reason he was a fucking mess! But he literally worshipped the ground she shat on and nothing could ever make him see what it was that she was doing to him.” Aly explained and Gemma snorted on a laugh and Y/N giggled as well at Aly’s chosen expression. “He knew that if any of us found out that he was seeing her again that we would interfere and give him hell for it. That’s why he lied.” Alyssa said with certainty and Gemma nodded.

“OK, so obviously this is…a lot more of a sensitive situation than I thought. Like I knew his previous relationships weren’t great, he’d shared that much, but this is…more than just bad I think? I mean, he tried to apologize but I told him that we needed to talk about what exactly happened that made him feel like he needed to lie before I could properly forgive him and move on from it. Like I don’t want to forgive him and next time he’s struggling he falls into her lap again, you know? Like clearly she knows how to get to him and he’s still susceptible to her! And that’s when he got angry. He said that I wasn’t going to get an explanation and to just take the apology and like…I don’t know, maybe I pushed him too far?” She sniffled.

“Bull!” Gemma cut in, “He needs to explain himself!”

“I agree.” Aly said and Y/N sighed.

“Well Harry doesn’t feel like he needs to. He just said he doesn’t want to revisit it and to just trust that he won’t talk to her again. But like…I saw how she got in his head and just the difference over the last few weeks, I mean, it’s not normal or healthy and that’s when he really got pissed and started to leave and I asked him where he was going and he said-” she stopped as her tears started to blur her vision again and Gemma and Aly frowned, “H-he said that m-maybe he would go and fuck Chloe or ummm…file for divorce s-since that’s what I was assuming he was doing anyway…” she cried and the girls literally gasped upon hearing this. “And I got angry and said if he walked out that I didn’t want him home until he was ready to talk about it and then he said that he wasn’t going to change his mind and he’d wait for me to call him when I’ve decided to let it go.” She started to cry again and Gemma just hugged her and glanced over at Aly with apprehension. 

“I’m really sorry.” She hummed and Y/N just sighed through her tears.

“Like I want to work through this, but I don’t know what I’m truly up against, you know? And like, I didn’t know she was his ex until I called her today and just…the things she said about him were so hurtful and like…I just can’t for the life of me understand why he would choose to interact with someone like that and then defend them like that!?” She said in frustration.

“Well, I know I’m his sister and I love him to death, but this is just the tip of the iceberg of his ugly side if Chloe is involved.” She said and Y/N pulled back and frowned, “Harry was with her for four years. I don’t know what went on in the relationship because he was so far removed from us then, but I know that it wasn’t anything good. That relationship destroyed him. He was already going through so much but that just made it worse and like…as much as he avoided us, we also started to avoid him because he was…awful and mean to everyone when we would even try to understand what was going on with them. We hadn’t spoken for almost a year when I reached out to him again.” She confessed and Y/N sighed.

“I told him he needed to see a therapist after that was over.” Aly said and Gemma nodded.

“I don’t think he ever did.” Y/N said and they sighed, “Like…he’s done a lot of the work himself and like…not that it hasn’t worked, he’s a completely different person even than the version of him I first met. But obviously he works on just what he sees he needs to work on. But like, she knows how to work him and he’s so convinced that she doesn’t affect him.”

“That’s not new…he’s always been in denial about that.” Alyssa said and Y/N wiped her tears away.

“What if he really does what he said and stays away until I change my mind about this? The baby’s coming soon and I can’t do this without him. But I also feel like, if I cave on this…it’s a mistake and I feel like he’s still vulnerable to her and that he will go back the next time something gets difficult. And if something this small had him like this I’m sure that with something bigger she’d somehow manage to turn him against me. I can’t live everyday on edge wondering when is the day that she’s completely won him over and he leaves me!” She expressed sadly with so much frustration bubbling inside of her.

“I know it’s not nearly the same thing as having Harry backing you, but we’re here for you and we’ve got your back on this.” Alyssa said kindly.

“Couldn’t have said it better myself.” Gemma agreed as she gave her a little squeeze.

“Thank you guys. Everyone else didn’t hear the commotion right?”

“No.” Gemma assured.

“Good. The last thing I need is your mom, gran, and Julie ganging up on him when he’s already in a fragile state…” she sighed, “Thank you guys for listening. I felt like maybe I had been really unreasonable with my request to just understand what happened.”

“Not at all unreasonable, it’s just the Chloe-effect.” Alyssa said before making an icky face and Y/N giggled. “Now, I have a serious question for you, Y/N. Are you in need of a pedicure? Because I think we just need to get out of the house for the rest of the afternoon. Help you calm down a bit? Maybe Harry has an epiphany while we’re out.” Alyssa said.

“And if he doesn’t?” She asked.

“Well then at least your feet will be soft and your toenails a cute color.” Gemma said and Y/N smiled.

“Let’s do it then.” She agreed.

***********

Harry had taken a long drive to just think and ended up in Brighton, he had a lot of fond memories there. He didn’t want to talk about Chloe ever again and he could admit that he made a mistake in entertaining her again but he didn’t want to delve into it. He literally hadn’t realized how far down the rabbit hole he’d gone until everything piled up on him today. He was afraid to talk to Y/N about that part of his life because he felt that it would maybe change her view or opinion of him and taint their marriage, if they even had one anymore. Because sure, he was a grouch when he’d met her, but that was tame compared to the person he’d been when he was with Chloe. A part of that came out earlier when he’d said all those awful things to her when she was trying to stop him from leaving. And well, the moment he uttered all of those hurtful things to her he felt so ashamed of himself that he just had to go. She deserved more than a man who had so easily strayed away. She deserved more than someone who deceived her and said hurtful things to her just to get her to lay off. 

He was terrified to go back home because he was afraid to prove Chloe right…that he wasn’t capable of loving and nurturing a marriage and much less a child. But whether he and Y/N had anything anymore after this stunt he pulled one thing was certain, he needed to sever all ties with Chloe because even he could recognize that everything started going to shit the second she was back in his life. Once again, he had been seeking her validation. He had intended to just be nice to her, he wasn’t sure at what point the tables turned but they had. He had somehow started out being the one in control and suddenly he wasn’t anymore and it terrified him that he hadn’t even realized it. He needed to just let that go for good, so he dialed her number and she picked up after a few rings.

“Harry, what happened?” She asked him right away.

“Just a huge fucking fight with Y/N…I fucked up and left instead of…giving her that explanation she asked for.” He explained sadly.

“Well, I get why you’re feeling so down all the time now! Your wife’s a real fucking piece of work.” she chuckled.

“Chloe, why would you lie to her about what was going on with us?” He asked and she sighed.

“Because I can see how miserable you are with her, Harry! And I also know you’re too much of a coward to end it. But you have to admit to yourself that this was all a mistake! Because that’s what this whole thing with her is, a mistake. I know you think that you’re cut out for this kind of thing, but you’re not!”

“And why is that?” He asked with a frown.

“Because you’re so… damaged, Harry! How can you be a father when you’re like this?” She questioned. “And I mean this with all the care in my heart, H. I know you think you’re doing better but look at how easily you came back to me! You asked me out, Harry and I accepted. Obviously, deep down you’re not over me and you’re unhappy with your life choices.”

“What? I wanted to catch up and hopefully get some closure, just the one time! But then you started showing up at the gym every day and texting me and asking to see me and talk to me about your problems and your life and I…I felt for you! I just wanted to be a decent person and help you, Chloe. But I…I won’t lose myself in you again.” He stated firmly.

“And do you really think you have anything with her after doing something like this?” She asked him, “Huh? While she’s off somewhere pissed at you, I’m here on the phone with you, because I need you as much as you need me, otherwise you would’ve grown a pair and stayed with her to fix things.” She said.

“This call isn’t for me to vent about the argument I had with my wife. I’m only phoning you to tell you that we’re done. All you ever did was tear me down and make me believe that because I was hurting and not being a great person then that I wasn’t worthy of all of the good things life has to offer. If you loved me as much as you said you did, why would you do that? Why would you make me feel like I wasn’t worthy of love when I desperately needed it the most?” He questioned and she didn’t respond, “Y/N loves me despite my mistakes, which I can assure you are many, and she loved me despite my hurt. She loved me when I was a miserable and broken shell of myself. She helped bring me back and I will love her eternally and be grateful to her for that forever. And I have everything I want and everything I need with Y/N. I really do wish you the best but-”

“How dare you?” She questioned angrily, “You’re just a good for nothing piece of shit, you’d be so lucky t-” he just hung up the phone and took a deep breath before just blocking her number and it was liberating. He was relishing in his small victory when a text from his mum came in.

Upon reading it he immediately forgot all about what he was thinking and called Y/N. He sighed when her phone rang out and then he tried again and no answer. He didn’t even think twice before he ran off to his car. He needed to make sure she was OK. It was nearly a two hour drive and he had tried her again and Alyssa and then Gemma and Skye and no one was picking up. He was about to call his mum back and ask, but then he’d have to explain that he had actually left and that would open up even more issues. 

He got home in record time and the house appeared dark. He rushed inside and looked around and well, her phone was on the bedside table…maybe they had to take her to the hospital and they left in a rush. But they would’ve called him…he groaned and just as he was about to head out again he heard laughing at the door and he rushed to the entry way and saw and heard her, with Gemma and Alyssa. He sighed in relief as they opened the entry way and their smiles slowly fell when they saw him.

“Oh thank god, you’re alright.” He said and she looked at him with confusion, “Mum texted something about a panic attack.” He explained.

“Oh, that was probably from what I told them to get them to leave.” Aly cut in and he nodded.

“Right, well are you alright for now?” Gemma asked her quietly, but he still heard her.

“Yeah. Thank you for all the pampering this afternoon and for taking me to the Barbie movie.” She said with a smile to her and Aly who both hugged her tight. They didn’t fail to glare at him while they hugged her and were soon being escorted to the door. Harry just sat at the staircase as they said goodbye and soon Y/N was coming back in and slipping out of her sandals.

“I’m glad you’re alright. I was worried.” He said as he stood.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” She assured and just walked past him and to the bedroom. He waited a bit before he decided to just follow after her, but as soon as he made it into the hallway he saw the last bit of the door close and then heard the lock click. He swore that it absolutely broke his heart to have her reject him this way, but he deserved it. Just seeing the disappointment in her eyes made him want to fix this. He walked up to the door and heard her shuffling around the room a bit.

“Ummm, I’m gonna go sleep up stairs then.” He informed and hesitated a bit before speaking up again, “I know I was…a total fucking asshole today. I’m so sorry, baby, I shouldn’t have reacted or left like that. I just…get defensive when it comes to this situation… And I just want you to know that I only love you.” He spoke through the door and just a second later she spoke up, her voice muffled by the door between them as well.

“And I love you too.” She responded softly before he saw the room go dark from the crack under the door. It wasn’t all that late but he’s sure that she was emotionally drained and possibly physically exhausted as well. He went up the stairs and got showered and then into bed.

Harry was so ashamed of himself and everything that came with those horrible four years of his life with Chloe. And he did want to be good enough for Y/N, but evidently there was still a small part of him that believed that he wasn’t and never would be. It’s not like all of the horrible shit he did when he was with Chloe just went away! He felt bad about it every time a memory resurfaced. And the one thing that should’ve made him feel better, but actually made him feel even more like shit was that Y/N still loved him. After everything he’d put her through today, not to mention the last few weeks of deception and even betrayal to some extent, she still made a point to tell him that she loved him. It was crazy to him…he would never withhold his love from her either, but he felt that she provided the good and all he did was hurt her and disappoint her. Even when their paths first crossed she had extended respect and kindness to him when he was awful to her. Maybe if he just explained to her why he was so worried about talking about this she would give him more time to figure out how to share this stuff about his past and how that led to what happened over the last couple weeks. As much as he wanted to avoid talking about it, fixing things with Y/N was far more important than his shame over his past. 

With that new priority at the front of his mind Harry sat up from the bed and got into his slippers, he headed to the stair case and when he reached it he stopped at the top of it when he saw Y/N was on her third step up. They both just looked at each other for a moment before she spoke up.

“Are you really gonna make me go all the way up there after the day I’ve had?” She inquired and his lips split in a small smile and he proceeded to hurry down the steps. With each step he took down his eyes flooded with his tears and as soon as she was within arm’s reach he pulled her close as he sniffled.

“I love you so much, baby.” He sighed in relief at the feeling of her being in his arms again and more than that, she hugged him back.

“I know you do. And I love you too.” She assured him and he pulled back to look at her.

“I don’t think I deserve it sometimes.” He confessed through a sniffle and she frowned.

“We all make mistakes-”

“Well I’m the only one fucking up here and you deserve more than that-”

“I’m not perfect by any means. I lied about…the hot Cheetos and the Jaffa cakes.” She said and he chuckled despite his tears streaming down his cheeks.

“Yeah, that’s actually far worse than what I lied about.” He said sarcastically and she smiled up at him. She was hopeful that he was ready to share what had happened. She just wanted to understand him. “Ummm, can we sit to talk?”

“Please.” she said and he chuckled and helped her down and to the couch just in the next room over. He flicked on the lamp they had in there to give the space a nice warm glow and she got comfortable on the couch, her back to the armrest as she brought up her legs up over his  and hugged a pillow to her body. Harry sat beside her, his hands on her legs and stroked over them softly as he collected his thoughts for a moment.

“Ummm…first off, again, I am so sorry for lying and hiding things from you. For continuing to see Chloe. For the way I’ve been acting the last few weeks, but more importantly for all of the awful things I’ve done today.” He apologized with a small frown, “I will never let myself forget what happened here, like…” he swallowed thickly, “Obviously it’s not the person I want to be.” He finished, “But in order to explain why I am so…vulnerable to Chloe’s shit…I ummm, I have to talk about my relationship with her and ummm…” He exhaled nervously and when his eyes met hers she could see the anxiety and fear and sadness in them, his hands even started trembling a bit and it absolutely broke her heart, “Baby, I mean this with my whole heart! I want to be able t-to talk about it but I can’t talk about this with you yet. And it’s not a you thing, I honestly have never talked about it properly with anyone.” He explained to her and her frown deepened upon hearing this. He’d been carrying this around all by himself for all of these years? He was certainly stronger than she had given him credit for.

“Being with her, those were the worst years of my life and I’ve learned to just accept what it was, you know? Like I can’t change the past and as much as it is what it is ummm…it still…it still hurts a lot if I think about it too much. And like… I wasn’t the best person when I was with her and like…” he sighed as he just worked up the courage to speak. He started anxiously picking at the sides of his fingers and she reached out and grabbed his hands, forcing him to look up at her, “Baby, I guess I’m afraid that if you hear how awful I was maybe you won’t feel the same about me or even look at me in the same way. I’m so ashamed about that whole part of my life and that’s why it’s hard to explain to you how this happened. But what I can tell you is that…I think a part of her is still like… she’s still in my head.” He frowned and she did as well, nodding in understanding. “And I have tried everything to just stop hearing her voice in there. Like, I’m already hard on myself but like…this is different. It’s like on a whole different level and it really makes me doubt myself. One thing she’d always tell me was that I wasn’t good enough for a family of my own. That because of my intense grief I wasn’t strong enough of a person to have…well, to have what we have together.” He said and Y/N shook her head in disbelief with a pout.

“She really said that to you?” She asked and he couldn’t bear to look at her as he nodded.

“Yeah. All the time. And I would see the way I’d treat my friends and my family and how…shitty I was and so I…believed it. I believed what she told me and I had made peace with it.” He chuckled sadly, “It was the reason why she “couldn’t be faithful” to me,” he said with air quotes, “Because I wasn’t good enough for a real committed relationship and I think that…when I do something wrong or I…hurt your feelings, like when I told you I felt trapped,” he said and she nodded, “I think ummm…it’s like a confirmation bias, you know? Like everything she said about me was right. Like I wasn’t built for this. Like I don’t…deserve it.” he explained and Y/N’s heart was breaking for him, “I hope this is enough o-of an explanation for you, but that’s all I can talk about right now without feeling like…basically like she’s won. Again.” He explained softly. Just the idea of him feeling like Chloe had won made Y/N’s blood boil in a way she had never felt before. She would equate it to the wrath of god. She couldn’t believe someone would  be so cruel on purpose.

“Look at me, H.” She said quietly, his eyes met hers again with some uncertainty. But Harry was relieved that she wasn’t looking at him with pity, like he was broken. There was just love and compassion as she looked at him, “Look at what we have together and how far you’ve come from that! She didn’t win then and she hasn’t won now. You have.” She said to him and Harry just felt the lump in his throat bob violently before he started to sob.

“And yes, what you’ve shared is enough for now and you’re enough for me. More than! Always.” She offered a soft and encouraging smile, “And I do forgive you, baby. And your family forgives you too. And look, that’s all good and well, but I think you might still be so affected by all of this because…you haven’t forgiven yourself.” She explained and his eyes softened as he choked on another sob, “What you said earlier about not forgetting about what happened, I agree that we need to sometimes remind ourselves of past instances where we went about things the wrong way. Like we can’t erase mistakes, they help us learn and do better, right? But it shouldn’t be this thing where you’re holding your mistakes over your head all the time, baby. I love you so much and so does your family, none of us are ever going to hold your shortcomings over your head. So why should you?” She asked him and he shrugged as he gasped for air. “Oh, come here, my love.” She tutted and he just surged forward and nestled into her side as best as he could. “I love you so much.” She said softly.

Sure, he had made things right with everyone else he had hurt and it was enough for a while but he had never gotten around to making things right with himself. And ultimately the forgiveness and acceptance that he needed the most to be able to heal fully was his own, but he wouldn’t be able to do that alone.

“I love you.” He hiccuped, “I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. You mean everything to me. You’re my whole life. You have to know that. I’m sorry.” He whispered over and over as she just held him for several minutes until his crying calmed down enough that he could properly breathe again.

“Baby, when I say this to you it’s just a suggestion and like…I want you to seriously consider it.” She said and he hummed, “H-have you ever thought of meeting with a therapist to like…work through all of this?” She asked and he pulled back and nodded as he sniffled.

“Yeah, I’ve made so many appointments but ummm…I always flake out because I think that…that they’ll get a look at me and be like how does some scary looking guy let another person fuck him up so badly? Like why couldn’t I have just left sooner or like…seen through her shit, you know?”

“Well, first off it’s no one’s place to judge you, specially a therapist. But also, when I said Chloe is not sane, I mean that, like medically.” She said and Harry chuckled and bit through his tears and she smiled, “It really wasn’t an insult to her, like just from the ten minutes I spoke with her it was clear that she has issues of her own to resolve. I’m sure she has the capacity to be a great person, like all people do! And I’m sure that the version of her you first met and interacted with and even…fell in love with wasn’t this.” She said and he nodded.

“Yeah, not really.” He confirmed.

“I mean, maybe she has her own mental illness that she never talked to you about or something in her past that’s made her this way. But like…if it’s something serious and chronic, like a personality disorder, for example…if you’re not emotionally equipped to handle that, which most people who aren’t trained professionals aren’t, it can be extremely traumatic to have people like that in your life, H. And I will acknowledge that you’ve done a fantastic job of healing on your own and regaining your light and your nurturing and loving nature! Trust me, I see it every single day, baby, and I’m so proud of you for it.” She reassured him, “We all love how hard you love us and value us all, but I think it’s time to do that for yourself too. I mean, just in light of being parents now it’s something to…to consider.” She said and he nodded, “Like…I’ll probably need some therapy too after the fallout with my family. Like, I think about it and I feel so angry at them and I feel…betrayed by them and I want to get back at them somehow.” She explained, “But I don’t want our baby to grow up and see that unresolved anger and spite towards them. Like, obviously what they’ve done has hurt me unimaginably and who knows how long this beef’ll last with them…” she sighed, “But like, it’s OK to feel hurt, but I don’t want to walk around for years being angry and bitter at them. It’s just not healthy, you know?”

“Yeah, I think you’re right.” He said softly.

“You deserve to heal from this, baby.” She said and he nodded. They were quiet for a few seconds as she let him process all of this.

“Baby? D-do you think if I do…therapy that they’d let you stay with me until I feel comfortable doing it alone?” He asked and she smiled and nodded.

“Yeah, I think that shouldn’t be an issue.” She assured. “Though with the baby coming soon it might be a little tough.”

“We’ll just do it online for a bit then.” He said and she smiled and nodded, “Can I kiss you?” He asked and she nodded.

“Of course.” She said and he was careful and he kind of straddled her and leaned in to kiss her lips gently before pulling her into his side and getting comfortable beside her as best as they could with their limited space not he couch.

“You know, you’re the complete opposite of Chloe.” He said softly, “I think that’s why at first I hated you.”

“Hated?!” She gasped playfully and he smiled and shrugged a bit.

“If not hate, it was pretty close to it.” He confessed and she sniggered a bit.

“If I was the opposite, why would you hate me?” She questioned in some confusion.

“Because ummm…you weren’t her. Like I wasn’t in love with her anymore but I did miss the good bits.” He said softly, “I think that first day, after we had that little tiff and then you came back in and apologized? That just threw me off my orbit.” He said through a chuckle, “And I felt like a fucking child…like I didn’t know anything about human interactions. No one had been accountable for their shit and apologized to me in…fuck I couldn’t even remember. It made me angry that you felt I needed an apology because I felt like… I didn’t deserve it so I was a dick to you. Like…almost as if I needed to prove to you why I didn’t deserve your niceties or an apology. And down the line, it’s like, I wanted to see your ugly side but your reactions to my antagonizations were always the opposite of what I expected and…wanted to some extent. But that really shone a light on how badly I was being treated before and seeing you growing and flourishing and everyone liking you from the get-go…for me it was like…everything I’d ever wanted and wished for was being given to someone else. All that support and affection and friendship. Even I liked you, but I was jealous. And then you were so nice to me when I got stood up and it…gave me hope again.” He explained to her and she hummed in acknowledgment, letting him get it all out there.

“That’s when I decided to stop dwelling on what I had endured and just let something good happen to me because I really needed it. I mean, I had no idea what would come of me letting you into my life. Maybe it was just going to be another lesson and loss…” he chuckled, “But letting you in was the best decision of my life, whether it was short-lived or long-haul, I just knew that I would never be the same after you, in a good way.” He smiled and she did as well. “I love you in ways I never knew were possible, even more so now that you’re carrying our little boy, I mean…” he inhaled sharply to prevent himself from crying again but he couldn’t help it and whimpered on a sob before speaking again, “I’m sorry for taking what we have for granted.” He sniffled, “This is really the most special thing two people can do together. And it’s not lost on me that…that I have to prove myself to you now and earn back the trust that I broke. But I promise you that I will work hard every single day to show you two that I’m the person you’ll need me to be.”

“You already do, baby.” She assured him, “And we all get in our heads or make mistakes sometimes. And I want you to know that I don’t expect perfection from you. I just want you to try your best and I’ll try my best.” She said with a smile, “Saw this thing from Brené Brown once about how she and her husband check on each other when they reconvene after their days.” She said and he hummed. “They have a rule that between the both of them they need to make 100% and they have like a limit for what’s passing. So say 80%. Like if one of us had a super shitty day, we focus on taking care of that person and our family. Like maybe we get takeout instead, or do the laundry the next day…whatever it be that we need to put aside, we put it aside and prioritize caring for the partner who is struggling the most.” She explained. “And if both of our scores are less than 80 combined s’the same concept, we just do what we need to do to look after ourselves and put everything else aside.”

“I really like that.” He said and she nodded.

“Me too. And like…I feel like maybe I’m a bit too emotionally attached to your grandma because of what happened with mine, you know?” She said and he nodded, “And I mean, I’m also starting to just think a lot about delivering the baby and sometimes I feel like…what did I get myself into…” she said through a little chuckle.

“Oh, as do I.” He said and she smiled.

“Yeah…I’m terrified.” She admitted, “I also feel like maybe I might not be cut out for this sometimes and it’s not like I regret it, but sometimes I wonder if we moved into this too soon or…I don’t know, I just get in my head.” She explained and he frowned upon hearing this, “So I think, we’ve both been…struggling on our own for a while and not really communicating that to not worry the other. When in reality we’re supposed to be in this together and share the load and the worries and the joys. So I’m more than willing to just…have this last month just be us working this out together and preparing for our baby together.” She said and he smiled.

“Really?” He asked and she hummed, “And this has nothing to do with the fact that gran’s cleaned you out at gin every day last week?” He asked teasingly and she laughed.

“Well, just a bit.” She admitted and he chuckled, “But mostly because I’ve missed you the last few weeks.” She confessed, “I’ve missed you a lot.”

“I’ve missed you too. I have one condition though.”

“OK. Name it.”

“No more knitting. Please.” Harry pleaded with a small laugh.

“Fine…was planning on making you some slippers but-”

“I’m not an OAP! I don’t need knitted slippers. Also, they have no traction, so unless you want me to die tumbling down the stairs or something, no thanks.” He laughed and she giggled as well.

“Yeah, definitely not. So no knitting. I also have a condition.”

“Alright, name it and it’s done.”

“Brilliant! You’re going to tell your grandma about it just being us from here on out.” She said and he scoffed through a humorless laugh.

“Absolutely not. I can’t hurt her feelings like that…no way.”

“Well I can’t either! We’re besties!”

“We’ll draw straws.” He suggested.

“Baby, I’m pregnant. In such a delicate state, you can’t put such a stressful task on me. Besides, I already have to do the most grueling and difficult task bestowed upon a human being in just five weeks…so, I think you should take one for team Styles.” She said and he sighed loudly.

“You’re pulling that card are you?” He asked and she hummed smugly as she nodded and he chuckled, “That’s so mean.”

“I will while I can. Every. Single. Time. And you can take that to the bank.” She smirked.

“Fine…I’ll break up with my gran for you but you owe me big time for this…A favor of my choosing at the time of my choosing.”

“OK.” She agreed and he smiled and sighed happily as he relished in the feeling of her beside him once again. She literally was the best person he knew. They had fallen silent for a bit before his voice put an end to the quiet.

“My new passcode is your due date, 1707.” He said softly, “I changed it 2 weeks ago actually, before all of this because Archie really did download like 10 games and also managed to purchase like fifty pounds worth of something on one of them.” He clarified and she smiled. “And…Chloe’s first text actually has a perfectly reasonable explanation. Which is that we biked to SOHO, on those electric bikes? After we’d grabbed a coffee.” He said and she started to giggle, “Also we both happened to attend the same indoor cycling class…that’s how we saw each other again. So after an hour of that and then randomly biking to SOHO and back-”

“Pelvic floor and leg pain guaranteed…” Y/N cut in and he nodded, “God, cycling is just the worst.”

“It’s just not for everyone.” He said and she smiled.

“Just for sadomasochists.” She joked and he laughed.

“Should we go to bed?”

“Yeah, baby.” She hummed. 

He was so happy they had been able to talk before the day was out. After this experience and conversation with Y/N, Harry mentally decided that he wouldn’t be so scared to communicate with her ever again. It never really went how he imagined it would. He was a classic self-saboteur and  over-thinker, so he would picture the worst case scenarios more often than not. But Y/N always put all of her effort to listen and understand him and she was always patient and loving in her responses. She had proven it to him time and time again. She really was the best thing that had ever happened to him and he felt so lucky to be loved by her.

**********

The next day Harry had a conversation with his grandmother when he drove her back to   his mum’s house. He came clean about everything and the reason why they needed this time alone together. She was understanding, of course, but did give him a bit of a talking to though. However, she too told him that she loved him when they said goodbye. 

In lieu of her being over all day though, they decided to just ask her, his mum, and Julie over for dinner a couple times a week and that had actually been really pleasant. It gave Harry a chance to really brush up on his cooking skills, because Y/N and Julie had him spoiled back in LA.  But soon enough he’d have to look after Y/N while she recovered from the baby. And tonight they were having dinner alone, but he decided he’d make her shepherd’s pie with cheesy top. It had been a childhood favorite of his and well, he hadn’t eaten it in nearly 8 years since he had chosen to be a friend and ally to the animals. But as he smelled it coming together he decided to cancel making one with meat substitute for himself and just indulging this time with her. 

“Smells fantastic.” She hummed her compliment as she came into the kitchen slowly.

“Thank you, baby. I think you’re really gonna like this one.” He said as he continued washing the things he had used to prepare the dish. She walked behind him and lightly scratched at his back a few times before she passed him and went to the fridge. “What’re you looking for in there? Food’s about to be ready.”

“You had brought some cheese yesterday and I wanted a bit.” She said with a little smile and he chuckled.

“Sorry baby, s’in the food.” He explained and she pouted.

“Alright then…no snack for me.” She mumbled before turning back and walking back over to him. 

Harry smiled when she hugged her body around his, her cheek smushed into his back before she kissed it a few times and then smiled, being just a bit of a bother as he tried to finish cleaning up, but he didn’t mind her clinginess. 

They had been working really hard to patch up everything form before. Not just him, but her too. Sometime’s he’d find her crying over a new stretch mark or her achey boobs, or just from feeling so physically drained, or nervous about delivering the baby. He had no idea that she had been struggling on her own like this. The first few times she got embarrassed for it, but she still let him be there for her through it. And with him it was more of that fear he had about his ability to be a good father. He’d share his concern and doubts and they’d work through it together like a proper team, and just like that things were on the mend. Truly, being there at every moment, experiencing the way life was just coming into their little baby boy was tethering them to each other in ways that he never knew were possible. It was extraordinary to witness and even on the hard days they never failed to take a moment before bed to just be grateful for the life they had together.

… JULY …

Y/N’s due date was in two weeks and she and Harry had once again taken a drive to the hospital she was supposed to give birth at to really nail down the fastest route possible. She couldn’t really move so much now so they just went to the class to bounce on the yoga balls and socialize with the other people and to do the meditations and affirmations portion of it all. Harry could see the way it improved her confidence so he made a point to not miss the class. Being there he’d also started to make friends with some of the other non-birthing partners in the class. He’d even met up for lunch with a few of them once already and planned to continue nurturing those friendships. And well, he knew he could also count on Skye and Nathan to talk about these things if he ever had doubts. He loved how supportive Y/N was of him also needing to build his connections with other young and new fathers.

“I think the route we took yesterday was better.” Harry said as they pulled into their street.

“This one seemed shorter, no?”

“Technically yes, but I’ve noticed that they do construction at night and it gets backed up. So if the baby comes in the night it would be best to go the other way. We’d be taking more main streets, so the traffic lights will be in our favor.” He pointed out and she hummed.

“Good, strategic thinking, Mr. Styles.” 

“Thank you, I try.” He smiled. “I can’t wait to meet him, baby.” He said with a wide grin.

“Neither can I! I just…I want to hold his little hand. He’s been a good baby so far, not throwing any crazy ragers in here.” She said and Harry nodded through a chuckle.

“Right. Mum said I was pretty even tempered until I was a toddler. Do you know if you were?” He asked her, glancing over to her quickly.

“Not too sure.” She responded. “I’ve been thinking about my parents a lot.” She said and he reached for her hand and she offered a tight lipped smile. Harry knew this was a very difficult and painful subject for her to broach. 

“Yeah? With the baby?”

“Yeah.” She confirmed, “I wish they were happy for us. For me…” she said glancing up at him quickly and he nodded. “Ughh, I don’t even know why it bothers me anymore!” She groaned in frustration, “It’s not like they’ve been present for the last 6 years of my life.” She mumbled.

“It’s your parents, baby. Of course it’s going to bother you.” Harry reasoned. “I know you don’t want contact but maybe if you’re up for it we can send a Christmas card for the holidays you know? That way they can see you’re doing good and also see Charlie.”

“Yeah, that’s a good idea. I don’t want them to ever tell me I never tried, you know?”

“Exactly. I think it’s important that we do things like that. To show them that they’re still on our minds but that also, we’re doing really well. Just the right balance of considerate and petty.” He said with a little grin.

“Yeah, that’s so true.” She giggled. “I’m curious, what do you think will be your greatest strength as a dad?” She asked him and this made Harry smile as he thought about it.

“Hmmm…I don’t know…” he wondered aloud, “I haven’t thought of it.” He said honestly, “Maybe…ummm…” he said again and when she glanced over at him he was slightly frowning now. “Dunno, can’t think of anything.” He finally said lowly, as if disappointed in himself for not knowing and she was quick to scoff at his self doubt.

“Well I’ve thought about it a lot.” She said with a smile as they turned onto their street. “You’re really great when things get challenging, which I’m sure they will at some point, so I think you’d be the one who remains calm more than me. You’re also very patient, which I know will come in handy for…well the rest of our lives.” She said and he smiled, “You’re also really good at admitting your mistakes and doing what needs to be done to correct them, which is huge! I think responsibility and accountability are excellent traits to model for kids. You’re also the one with self-discipline and have far more structure than I ever will, and kids thrive on structure; you’re definitely going to be the parent that makes rules fun. You’re also very intelligent and a fast learner, and so open to change, so I think you will adjust a lot faster than I will to a baby. You can be fun and silly, which I think is one of my favorite things about you, you know when to be and when not to be.” She pointed out.

“I also think that the way you show your love is also very admirable and wholistic. Like you’re very adaptable with it based on the person’s needs. So if that means doing something for someone, carving out some time in your day for something, or just giving a cuddle when needed you’d do it. Literally, you’re so supportive, you do whatever it takes to show someone you love that you care about them.” She said, “Ughhh, you’re gonna be the best dad, H.” She said with a big smile as he parked the car in front of their garage and turned to her with a big smile as well.

“Wow, thank you. I got a little scared for a moment there…” he confessed, “Maybe I am very cut out for this.”

“Oh certainly.” She nodded.

“And you? What do you think you’d be best at?”

“I think I’m very patient as well, maybe not as much as you, but it’s up there.”

“I mean, you deal with me so I’d say you’re excellent at patience.” He said and she giggled.

“OK, well that…I also think I’m very good at empowering others and encouraging independence. So I think I’d be able to teach Charlie how to be capable and self-sufficient. I think I’m a great listener and very supportive. And I think that I’m good at communicating, so teaching Charlie right from wrong, boundaries, expectations…and of course, I think I would be able to love him wholeheartedly and unconditionally, which in the end is really the most important thing we could do for him, I think. I’ll definitely have to learn how to be a bit more firm from you, but other than that I think we’ve got mostly all the bases covered!” She said gleefully.

“I love you so fucking much.” Harry said with a loving smile.

“I love you too.” She hummed back happily and then her smile dropped a bit, “I’ve also been thinking about…like, if…” she exhaled shakily, “Like god forbid something goes…wrong-” She said and Harry’s good mood immediately melted away as he shook his head.

“Don’t even say that, Y/N…Please, Jesus…” He frowned with a disapproving shake of his head. Quite literally rejecting the idea verbally and physically.

“Like…I know it’s awful to think about but you just never know what the future holds and I just…I want you to know that if for any reason you’re faced with a difficult decision I want you to know that I fully trust you to do what you think is best.” Y/N stated as she reached for his hand and he glanced over to her, already feeling anxious at the prospect of anything going wrong. “I just…need you to promise me that you’ll trust your gut and know that I trust you too, with my life, babe. Always.” She said emphatically and he swallowed down that anxiety and nodded.

“OK. I promise.” He agreed solemnly and she offered a tight-lipped smile to him.

“I’m sorry if I’m scaring you. It’s going to be fine, everything looks great, you’ve heard the doctor say it as well. But just…just in case, you know?” 

“OK.” He said before bringing her hand up to his lips and kissing it before expelling all of the negative thoughts now with a deep exhale.

“I’ve ruined the appetite for lunch, haven’t I?” She said monotonously and Harry’s lips quirked up in the biggest grin ever, “What?” She asked at his sudden shift in mood.

“That was maybe the most British-sounding thing you’ve ever said! It’s exciting!” He chuckled and she groaned.

“Oh god, please stop me before I become one of those people with a fake accent…” she mumbled and he laughed.

“I think you might develop one over time…I mean, if this is your home now a couple things are bound to rub off.” he shrugged with a satisfied little smirk.

“I know that, but just as long as I don’t sound like an idiot…”

“Oh you will for a bit, but we’ll love you just the same.” He assured with a grin and leaned over to kiss her lips despite the little pout on them, “OK, my excellent comedic timing and humor have helped me regain appetite. C’mon, my love.” He said as he unbuckled her seatbelt before undoing his own and hurrying over to help her down from the car. 

Their afternoon was pretty quiet and now Y/N was having a nice cool bath before bed. Sure, it wasn’t LA hot, but try carrying around all of the extra weight and tell someone that 77 degrees isn’t scorching hot. Not to mention, their house wasn’t a new build so they didn’t have AC, much to Y/N’s chagrin. If there was anything she missed about LA it was that, even Julie was struggling because she preferred sleeping in the cold. So the next best thing was to just sit in a cool bubble bath for a bit so that she could be refreshed before getting into bed. She was smiling with her eyes closed and her tossed back, relaxing against her bath pillow as Harry’s shower playlist and his singing along filled the bathroom with a joyous sound. Wings’ “She’s My Baby” faded out as he switched off the water and there was a second of silence before the unmistakeable chords of Hot Chocolate’s “You Sexy Thing” came through the speakers.

“Woo!” Harry exclaimed in excitement and it made Y/N’s eyes flutter open as she laughed at his very enthusiastic reaction to the song. “I believe in miracles…where you frooo-om, you sexy thing? You sexy thing you.” He sang as he sashayed out of the shower and into her line of sight. She glanced over to him, shaking her head and fighting to hold in her laughter because he was stark naked, dancing in the bathroom as he serenaded her, “I believe in miracles since you came alo-o-ong, you sexy thing!” he sang now while pointing straight at her as he approached her; his toned body rolling smoothly as he danced his way over.

“Please be careful, you’re gonna slip!” She warned through her giggling as he came over to the tub.

“Where did you come from, baby?” He sang with a theatrical, inquisitive expression over his face as he tilted her chin up, “How did you know, I needed you? How did you know I needed you so badly? How did you know I’d give my heart-Oh shit!” He gasped, his eyes wide with fear as he slipped in his own puddle of water just as he was trying to step into the tub.

“I’m telling you to be careful!” She laughed as she shook her head and scooted up, hugging her knees to her body as much as she possibly could to let him slide into the bubble bath with her. When she felt his warmth behind her she stretched her legs again and fell back against his chest and he wrapped his arms around her as he rested his head against hers.

“Now you’re lying close to me giving it to meee-eee!” He continued singing against her as if he hadn’t almost eaten shit, “I believe in miracles…” he hummed as his hands left her bump and grabbed her thighs, “Where you from, you sexy thing?” He whispered now against the shell of her ear with a grin as his fingers inched towards her inner thighs. 

They hadn’t actually done anything physically intimate for her in maybe three months, if not very close to that. And it wasn’t for lack of need, just the mechanics of it were getting weird for Y/N. She was eager to do anything for Harry, who didn’t want to accept unless she would allow him to reciprocate. But she’d always end up convincing him one way or another to at least accept a blowie or even just a hand job because lately his pleasure was enough for her. She just had this like…mental block when it came to her pleasure right now. She couldn’t concentrate enough to come for a lot of reasons. Like one time, they had tried to have sex and he was spooning her and she was starting to get close when the baby started to kick and it just got weird for her.

She obviously knew that physically Harry’s dick and their baby were nowhere near each other, but having both of those things happen simultaneously just killed the mood for her. She felt like they weren’t alone and it just made having an orgasm hard. Like did the baby feel what was going on? Or did all the chemicals her brain released from the pleasure make the baby more active? She had no idea, so she googled it…apparently they did feel something and after learning that it just got harder and harder for her. But did she want it, yes, and badly! 

Harry was in a bit of a frisky mood himself. Over the last few weeks that they'd been spending alone, preparing for the baby, he had been experiencing these emotions he wasn't all that familiar with. He felt so possessive and protective of her right now, but in a way that made him lust after her. He knew that she didn’t feel gorgeous and radiant most of the time now, like she had at first, but to him she was the pinnacle of beauty, especially now. He loved how strong and powerful she was in every capacity. He appreciated the new things he learned her body could do and how it adapted and changed as she literally nurtured their son to life. He felt  so proud of her, but also of himself. Lately it made him all hot and bothered to know that she was carrying his baby, that he had done this with her, to her. That everyone knew this when they’d go to yoga or out on walks or to run errands together. Y/N was beautiful, anyone with the ability to see it could see that, so when anyone would steal a glance of her and then see her bump while he protectively loomed over her they’d know that she was all his and that just made him feel feral and so fucking cocky. 

He’d never given much thought to how real the theory of evolution was, but this innate and almost animalistic need to protect what was his, to show off what he’d done with her, to take care of her and their son, it was instinctual. It came from some unearthed primal part of himself that he didn’t know he had until now. And Harry loved this new side of himself and knowing that his precious and sexy little wife had a breeding kink basically had him simmering all the time. Sure, she was having a hard time orgasming as of late, but as he nipped at her earlobe while his fingers felt the slimy texture of her around as he dipped his fingertip at her opening, he knew that she wanted it badly and he was going to give that to her. He was happy to revisit some of their kinkier preferences to help her surrender to her pleasure. 

“Baby…” she whispered as he guided his slicked up finger to her clit and swirled it around it, teasing her just a bit before she wriggled a bit and he took the hint to rub over her sensitive and surely needy little bud. Harry was relishing in the satisfied exhale that had her melting against his body.

  “I know it’s been hard, but you’re going to come for me.” He mumbled lowly and she moaned, “Remember before? I’d just keep going until you couldn’t help but come for me? That’s how we’re gonna do this. Fuck, I need to taste you, my love. Need it so bad.” He groaned as his cock started to stiffen up at the idea of getting to lick and lap at all her sensitive spots until she was writhing in pleasure beneath him.

“Fuck, please H.” She sighed breathily and he smiled as he brought his left hand up to her breast. 

He was gentle as he squeezed it in his palm and rubbed his thumb over her nipple, back and forth, feeling it growing harder and harder with each rub over it.  She was already so sensitive there as her body got closer and closer to her due date. She was just so tender that his touches soon started to overstimulate her sensitive nipple until she was gasping. She could feel her clit throbbing and she squeezed her eyes shut, trying to just focus on the pleasure, to not lose that spark that was flickering inside of her. 

“Rub your clit f’me.” He instructed as his other hand came to her right breast. Her nipple already peaked from the pleasure she was experiencing, but when he started teasing that one as well she started to spark up. “That’s it, baby. Feel how good it is?” She nodded as she whined out lowly at just how overwhelming it was starting to feel. Her nipples ached and her back was slightly arching into his touch and out of nowhere he pinched them between his thumbs and index fingers. She choked on a groan before he let go and she was panting in relief as her body relaxed against his, “Did it hurt?” He asked quietly.

“Yeah, but in a good way.” She responded lowly as two of her fingers swirled and brushed over her clit.

“‘In a good way?’” He teased her haughtily, repeating her own filth back to her, “Made you a wife and a mum, a nice respectable woman, but nothing’s gonna change the fact that you’re a filthy little slut for me, will it?” He teased and she whimpered as he pinched at her nipples again, “I know she’s still in there, my favorite little freak. That perfect little cum slut that took every fucking load, like a good girl.” 

“Harry-” she swallowed thickly as she felt her body starting to burn from the inside out. Wincing at the pressure being applied to her sore nipples once again.

“And look at you now, pregnant with my baby for being such a desperate and needy little thing…” he mused, “And you’re as beautiful as the day I first saw you and then some.” He smiled, “Fuck, it drives me insane knowing that I did this to you. You’re all mine, aren’t you?” He asked and she nodded, “Say it. Tell daddy, you’re his.” 

“Yes, I’m all yours, daddy.” She whimpered as her legs started to tense up as her pleasure increased.

“Yes, you are. Always gonna take such good care of you, my love.” he  promised. “I’m gonna need you to get out of your pretty, little head and let me do just that.” He purred. 

Before she knew it, he was helping her onto their bed so that she was reclining against the headboard and he kissed her sloppily before dropping down to his tummy and kissing in between her legs. His tongue was flicking at her clit over and over and over again. He was aiming to get her from sharp inhales to animalistic moans. How she had missed his mouth…she obviously hadn’t been in the mood to maintain herself as religiously as before and she knew Harry didn’t mind, but she was a bit embarrassed about it too. But feeling his mouth and tongue zealously working to get her off she threw out all the shame she felt. He really didn’t seem to care one bit.

“Please use your fingers.” She mumbled and she moaned in relief when he fit two of his long, thick digits into her entrance. He expertly massaged her walls with them, finding and stimulating her internal pleasure points before curling his fingers up and settling at her g-spot. It had been so long that she almost immediately started to lose it. She was so sensitive and eager for an orgasm. She wished she could properly see him, but the bulge of her belly was mostly in the way, she couldn’t even comfortably grab his hair or head, this caused for her legs to kick and writhe as she had no other way to express her pleasure. “Oh my god, baby! I’m so close!” She gasped and he moaned against her pussy before gently sucking at her clit until her legs were trembling and she was coming undone with a scream of his name. “Fuck Harry!” She wailed as he kept going despite her sensitivity. Her head was thrown back and she was whimpering at the overstimulation as he refused to come to a stop. Soon the torture morphed back into pleasure as she surrendered herself to the idea that Harry was set on making up for lost time right now. 

“Oh my god, don’t stop…please, don’t stop!” She whispered breathlessly as her fingers dug into the bed covers until her knuckles were white. Harry’s moans seemed to be reverberating through her entire body as his fingers plunged deep into her and fucked her sweet spot until once again, she was crying out as her orgasm crashed over her. Rolling her in beautiful currents of pleasure. His continuous movements were drawing out the delicious, ticklish feeling that was bursting from her tummy through her body. “Mmm, that’s so good.” She hummed as he started to just lap over her clit, gradually coming to a slow to ease her out of it. Her breathing was ragged as the aftershocks of her orgasm caused her legs to twitch and tingle.

“You alright there?” He asked smugly as he kissed her inner thigh.

“More than. Wow, thank you.” She giggled breathily and he smiled before pressing himself up and leaning over her to kiss her lips quickly.

“Can I reciprocate?” She mumbled against his lips.

“Fuck no.” he hummed and she chuckled.

“Baby, please…” she begged.

“We either have sex or the blowie. And I’d much rather do the things that will get the both of us off. Unless you’re done.” he mumbled against her lips.

“Not done, just don’t know if I could even come from penetration.” She explained, “So I’d rather you get to come properly than to keep trying to make me finish that way when I don’t even think I will.” She reasoned.

“Well good thing I got you a little something to help.” He said and she furrowed her eyebrows as he drew back. “Wait here.” He hummed before pecking her lips once more.

“Not a problem.” She assured him as he hurried off of the bed, “Don’t even think I could move from this position.” She said to herself. She was so over being pregnant that she wasn’t even too concerned about the birthing part, she just wanted her body back for herself. She wanted to be able to move how she wanted, to walk around without feeling like every step she took created a small scale seismic event, she wanted to stop feeling swollen and tired. She wanted to sleep on her back, even if she never really had before, but she just missed having the option! She was about fucking ready.

“OK, so I got you this.” He said coming out with a pink silicone vibrating ring. It had little bunny ears though, which she deduced were for her clit. Harry had always been the one to bring toys into their sexual life and each time she’d been blown away, so she knew this time would be no different. “S’got 5 speeds.” He said as he climbed back on the bed, kneeling before her. “You can wear it so you can control it.” He said and she nodded, reaching out for it to inspect it.

“Well, thank you.” She giggled in amusement and he chuckled.

“Course, baby.” He responded with a smile.

Shifting from their typically intense and fiery preferences when they had sex, Harry was gentle and slow paced. He’d never been one to rush into things, but right now he was doing everything he possibly could to help her relax so that she could be in a headspace where she was enjoying every bit of this instead of worrying about everything. Harry’s lips kissed up her arm, making her smirk at the tickle from his scruffy facial hair. As he trailed up her neck she let her head roll to the side to give him space to suck and smooch at her neck to his heart’s content. His hands had made their way to her breasts, gently massaging them, easing the soreness that she’d been feeling more intensely over the last weeks. She was about to have his baby, she should allow herself to spoiled by him. She sighed as he licked over her nipple before sucking gently, letting his tongue flit about. 

“Just not too hard.” She whimpered when he got lost in it and bit down on her a bit.

“Sorry, baby.” He mumbled before moving to the other, “You can start using your ring by the way.” He said and she giggled breathily before fiddling with it to get it on. In the meantime, Harry started suckling at her other nipple, making her impatient to get the fucking thing on. When it switched on she immediately got the chills as she watched the little “ears” buzzing vigorously. 

“Help me, yeah? I can’t actually see down there.” She said and he popped off of her with a chuckle and pulled back to help her position it over her clit perfectly. He smirked when she gasped as the ear vibrated the whole of her clit. She was already sensitive from the orgasms he’d given her with his mouth. Even on the low setting, it was intense and he glanced up to see her eyebrows pinched together as her clit was basically embraced by the vibrator. “I’m coming!” She mewled and he couldn’t help but laugh in delight as she started to pull it away, but he held her hand there until her legs were trembling and she was screaming, convulsing and out of control. “Baby!” She gasped.

“You can do it. Give yourself another one.” He said with wild eyes and she shook her head. Of course she wanted another one, but she was getting pummeled by these orgasms, she’d been without them for so long that they felt monumental to her. “Or should I turn it up and make you?” He asked and she moaned and just tossed her head back as she waited for it to build up again. When she felt him sinking his fingers back into her sopping entrance she knew she was done for. 

“Fuck me!” She gasped when he curled them into that spot only he seemed to have found. He was diligent as he prodded into it without pulling his fingers out too far. She exhaled shakily as she felt her orgasm building again. And he smiled before going just a bit harder, “Fuck baby, just like that! Fuck, don’t stop!” She pleaded.

“Yeah? Gonna come for me?”

“Yes! Yes…fuck you’re gonna make me come!” She panted and moments later her muscles were contracting around his fingers. Squeezing and retracting harshly as she grew sticky with her come. The wet sounds of his fingers inside of her growing louder as her orgasm started peaking. He could feel her hips following his movements until she started to come down from it. The pulsing of her inner walls becoming more and more sporadic. When she finally opened her eyes he let go of her hand and she pulled the vibrator away as she swallowed thickly to catch her breath. 

“Good?”

“So good.” She sighed with a smile as with drew his fingers from her. He glanced down to see them absolutely coated in her arousal and come. He reached down to his cock, already dribbling with precum and smeared her sticky, milky mess along his shaft.

“Fuck.” He cursed lowly. He was way too hard, he felt the ache shooting down to his swollen balls. He was back to not getting himself off, only would come when she’d do something for him, so he was overdue for his own orgasm and his excitement was evident of it. 

She couldn’t necessarily see between her legs to get a view of him stroking his cock, but she bit her lip hard and watched as his muscular arm shifted back and forth with his strokes. It was like the perfect tease. She had seen his cock so many times that she could just imagine how he was stroking it, how he’d thumb over the tip to smear his precum down and lubricate his cock for a better glide. His eyes were honed in on her pussy. She imagined it was pobably, pulsing and glistening with the evidence of her orgasms. When his eyes raked up her body he smiled. 

“Damn, look at you.” He groaned, there was a hunger in his eyes that she’d never seen before. “Look so fucking perfect.” He said and she smiled, “It just makes me…so fucking crazy that you’re pregnant with my baby.” He said and she realized what was going on. 

“Yeah?” She asked quietly and he nodded. “It gets you off that you knocked me up?” She asked, playing along and he nodded. “S’what you wanted, isn’t it?” She asked.

“Fuck yeah, thought about it so many times.” He hummed as he started stroking faster. “Thank fuck I did. You’re exquisite.” He said. “Can’t wait to do it again.” He smirked friskily and she chuckled.

“Please fuck me.” She said and he nodded. He helped her onto her side and laid behind her and helped her get a bit more comfortable. 

Y/N’s heart was pounding with excitement just from feeling his big cock smushed against her backside. He help position her hand with the vibrator back over her clit. She whimpered and struggled with keeping it there, already clutching to the bedcover to not get too carried away yet. 

Harry was taking his time, thrusting between her legs, wetting his cock with all of her slick. The squelching sounds of it all were enough to make her dizzy. She lived for the feeling of his tip catching against the dip of her entrance over and over with increasing speed until his arm wrapped around her body to pulled her flush to his body and then he just plunged inside all the way and she gasped at the sudden, but most welcomed intrusion. He moaned lowly and buried his face in the back of her neck, biting down gently as he started to thrust slow and deep. She forgot how thick he was as he split her walls apart with his methodical thrusts. She could hardly make any sounds as her body vibrated with pleasure. The bulbous head of his cock was colliding into that spot where his fingers had been and she was literally seeing stars. Harry could tell he was getting her off as her walls started to squeezing him, attempting to keep him in place.

“So. Fucking. Tight like this…” he strained out in pleasure. She was so wet and hot, and with her legs squished together her walls felt so pillowy and mushy around his cock. He swore he was losing brain cells from how incredible she felt around him. Harry was fighting every instinct in his body that was screaming for him to just pound into her mercilessly. But that very self-control was getting him off. God, he’d missed having her like this…he missed her body. He knew that she missed this too. Especially as she begged for him to go just a bit harder and when he obliged she moaned loudly and he smiled. 

“Yes H, just like that…just like that, baby.” She mewled.

“Oh, I’m so fucking close. Please baby. Please come for me.” He panted. 

Y/N was so close to coming undone. Her body was teetering over the edge, her toes curling as she clung to that sharp strike of pleasure she’d get every time Harry’s cock collided into her spot.

“Fuck…fuck, honey.” He rushed out and started grinding into her and that’s when she lost it. 

Her vision was growing blurry and her jaw was falling slack as her orgasm hit. Y/N tossed her head back against his shoulder as a wave of ecstasy just washed over her. She saw white and her ears started ringing and her legs trembling in response. Her breathing was caught as her orgasm coursed through her like fire in her veins. She pulled the vibrator away as it was starting to be too much, but it didn’t do much since Harry was now about to come.

Harry stilled deep inside of her and she could feel the intense twitches of his cock inside of her as heavy spurts of his sperm shot out of him, filling her up. She let out a scream of pleasure that she hadn’t heard before as just feeling that inside of her made her come again, a g-spot orgasm…it had her already frazzled mind fracturing. Harry started thrusting erratically as he filled her up, milking out every drop he could inside of her. His praises and curses were spurring her on further and how she wished that she could’ve watched his face as his brain melted with that orgasm. She could feel him leaking out of her with each thrust now, wetting her thighs and surely making a mess of the bed beneath them until he slowly came to a halt.

“Had so much for me, didn’t you?” She whispered breathlessly and he nodded, swallowing thickly as he caught his breath.

“If you weren’t already pregnant with my baby, you sure would be now.” He panted as he held her close and then kissed the back of her neck. “I love you. I love you. I love you. So much.” He hummed before kissing down her shoulder. His hand found hers and intertwined their fingers.

“I love you too, baby.” She smiled happily, “Thank you so much for all of the effort you put into this. I needed it.” She confessed and he chuckled.

“Course. Anything for my girl.” 

***********

The last week had been hard. Y/N swore she’d been going into labor a couple times only for her to make it through the days without anything more happening. She was physically exhausted and mentally drained, she just needed to get their baby out of her body as soon as possible. She was starting to get contractions, little ones, that really had no effect on her yet but then on the 14th, the mucus plug started to fall out. She did freak out when she first found traces of it in her underwear and after extensive googling she realized what it was and started to mentally prepare for the baby coming soon. And then on the 16th it’d been nearly the entire day of small contractions. But they weren’t necessarily getting any worse, they were bothersome, but not advancing or coming at a faster pace, but regardless she was vigilant and Harry was obsessively timing them. But when nightfall came and they remained consistent to how they had been they decided to just go to sleep. 

Y/N woke up a bit after midnight because she was having this dream where she was giving birth. And as she started to wake up she felt a growing pain and then lots of pressure in her pelvis. She was passing it off as the baby moving or maybe her contractions were getting stronger. But then her eyes opened wide when she suddenly felt her pants growing warm as she soaked them through and the bed beneath her as well. She was wide awake now upon realizing that her water had just broken.

“Shit….” She grumbled as she threw the covers off and tried to hoist herself up but was struggling. “Harry.” She said, reaching for him and patting at his arm.

“Hmmm?” He grumbled tiredly.

“You need to help me up, my water broke!” She said to him and he just grumbled.

“That’s ok. You’re ok.” He mumbled groggily and then she chuckled and reached to her bedside table to turn on her lamp.

“Baby, please wake up. It’s almost time. Our son is coming soon!” She said with more volume and that seemed to get his attention as he sat up in a panic. “Hey, hey, relax.” She said as he looked discombobulated as can be.

“You said the baby is coming. Or was it a dream?” He asked looking completely out of sorts. Hair wild and eyes heavy with sleep.

“Yeah, he’s coming. My water broke just now.” She informed and his eyes widened as he looked down at her lap.

“Oh my god. Oh my god…OK.” He said as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes and got out of bed. “D’you wanna head straight there or have a quick shower so you’re nice and refreshed, or what do you want to do?” He asked her in slight panic.

“This is the first big one, I don’t think we can even be admitted yet. Let’s just have a shower and get ready to go for when they come quicker.” She suggested and he nodded.

“Yeah, OK.” Harry nodded.

“Knew I should’ve done it before bed.” She mumbled and he smiled as he hurried over to her side to help her out of bed. He was moving fast and she grabbed his hands while he reached for her body to help her and he looked to her with confusion.“Come here.” She giggled and he knelt before her and she grabbed his face gently.

“What is it?” He insisted with worry and she sighed and shook her head.

“Nothing, I just need you to please calm down or I’ll start to freak out with you.” She said and he chuckled.

“I don’t…think I can. I mean…a baby, our baby is ready t-to be born…” he chuckled nervously. “Like…he’s coming out of you!” He said with wild eyes, “I mean…oh my god, I thought about the cervix thing again…” he shook his head and she groaned.

“Don’t think about that!” She laugh nervously.

“I’m sorry.” He chuckled and she sighed as she shook her head in disapproval, before cracking a smile at him.

“I love you, but please just…I’m scared enough as it is and I’m trying my best to just think positive. Let’s just have a nice and relaxing shower, you’re gonna have to help me shave though, for visibility purposes.” She said and he nodded.

“Right, a clearer view is probably best for them, right?”

“I’d imagine so.” She giggled.

“I just want him to be here already.” He said earnestly and she smiled.

“Me too.” She hummed and then leaned forward to kiss his lips quickly. “I can do this.”

“You can.” He reassured and then she took a deep breath before letting it out slowly, “I love you.”

“I love you. Let’s do it.” She said decidedly. 

With that they hurried into the shower. She’d be in hospital for a day or so and he knew how relaxing showers were for her, so he was extra considerate of her routine. He wanted to skip some of her steps, but for her sake he stuck to them. Shaving her proved to be quite challenging, but they were laughing about it, reminiscing about that time he decided to lick at her sugar scrub only to learn it was in fact soap. And the shower was certainly helping her release all of the scary and anxious thoughts. He’d been doing perineal massages on her for the last month because she was so afraid to tear, so he did a bit of that as he helped clean her up a bit, even if it was just to reassure her. 

“Just wait here, let me get your robe.” Harry said hurrying out of the shower. He was just about to help her step out when she suddenly squeezed his hands hard, her nails dug into his wrist making him wince until he glanced up at her and saw her face twisted in pain. So he sucked it up, waited for the contraction to pass.

“Sorry, baby. Didn’t mean to hurt you.” She whispered lowly, brows still pinched and eyes squeezed shut as she calmed.

“S’alright. Is it bad?”

“I can manage, it was just sharper than I anticipated.” She said and he nodded.

“C’mon, lets get you dried.” He said.

Once he had helped her get dried up he helped her get moisturized while she got her skincare on. Then he helped her get into the clothes they had left out already and started helping her pack up her final things to take to the hospital. Y/N was lightly primping herself umm she knew she didn’t need to do it, but she was treating this like any other day. She was sticking to her routine to stay calm. Meanwhile, Harry was getting everything into the car, they had agreed not to call and wake Anne and Julie yet since her contractions were still about 20 minutes apart, so they still had some time to go.

“OK, everything’s in the car.” Harry said as he came back into the bathroom to clean himself up a bit as well. 

“Perfect, thank you baby.” She hummed. He nodded and  then reached into the drawer with his razor. “Don’t shave.” She said and he glanced up at her.

“What if it’s scratchy on the baby’s face?” He asked and she pouted a bit.

“But you look so hot like this.” She whined quietly and he chuckled and turned and grabbed her face and kissed her deeply before rubbing his nose against hers.

“Guess I’ll just have to be extra cautious with the baby.” He said and she smiled in satisfaction.

“Do you think we should try getting a bit more sleep?” She asked.

“What if you don’t wake up in time?”

“I don’t see how that would be possible.” She smiled.

“Right… alright, let me change the sheets.” He said and she nodded and went to grab clean ones while he stripped the bed. Once he had stripped them she went to put them in the washer as he redressed the bed. And then they were laying down again, Y/N on her side as Harry rubbed her back gently. 

It was nearing 5am now and Y/N kept waking up with each contraction that came, now they were less than 10 minutes apart from what she was noticing. So once again, she woke Harry and now they were on their way to the hospital. They checked in with ease and when they checked her out she was 5 centimeters dilated. She was breathing through the pain like she’d been told, but this was on another level. She kept squeezing Harry’s hand hard, they were waiting for them to come give her the epidural. She just needed the quiet and he was so respectful of it. Anne, Hillary, and Julie showed up a bit after 6am, but were not allowed in yet since they were still waiting for the epidural to kick in and when it finally did and the pain had subsided enough Harry just encouraged Y/N to get a bit more sleep while he went out and shared her progress with their family.

Harry came back in after about half an hour to find Y/N fast asleep and he kissed her forehead lightly before taking a seat beside her and sighing contently. He felt overwhelmed with hope, happiness, excitement, nerves…this was huge. Harry felt so lucky to have found her. And more lucky that she had not given up on him and melted away his cold exterior with her empathy and kindness. He felt lucky that she had fallen in love with him and chosen to share a life with him. And now here they were, waiting for her to give him the perfect gift. A lovely little boy that would complete their little family. He glanced up when a nurse came in quietly.

“Hi, just going to check on her progress.” She said quietly. Harry nodded and squeezed Y/N’s hand a bit and she stirred awake. 

“Baby, the nurse needs to check on you.” He said softly and she nodded groggily and just bent her legs up to give the woman space to see how she was doing. It was closing in 7:30am now and the nurse smiled as she reared back.

“You’re moving along quite well, quite quickly he’s an eager one. You’re at 6 centimeters.” She said with a smile.

“Oh good.” She hummed.

“Not too much pain?”

“No, this is good.” She assured the woman.

“Excellent. It tends to speed up from here, you’re getting close.” She said with a smile.

“Thank you.” Y/N smiled.

“You’re very calm, this is good energy you two are maintaining. Keep it up.” She encouraged them and with that she headed off.

“Hear that, my love?” He asked her sweetly before pressing a kiss to her warm forehead. “Almost.” Harry hummed and she smiled and nodded.

“Yeah.” She assured him, her expression falling a bit and he looked at her a bit skeptically.

“What’s the matter? Are you in more pain than you’re letting on?” He asked her. 

“I mean there’s pain but it’s very tolerable. This epidural thing is where it’s at.” She giggled and he chuckled a bit.

“I’m glad it’s working.” He said with relief. He knew this was probably the hardest thing a person ever had to do and he was more than glad that so far the experience was going well for her. As much as he wanted to meet and hold his baby boy, he wanted for her to have the best and smoothest delivery possible. 

“Are you gonna look?” She questioned with a knowing smirk.

“I don’t know yet.” He confessed with a smile and she giggled.

“As long as you don’t pass out on me.” She warned and he sniggered.

“I’ll try my best not to.” He assured her. “You’re so calm. It’s making me feel bad for being so anxious.” He explained.

“Don’t feel bad. You’re not showing it. I think if I were feeling more pain I would definitely be more anxious. But also, if I freak out I’m just gonna have a harder time doing this and it’s gonna take me longer and I just want to meet him so bad!” She confessed, “I don’t want to take longer than necessary to finally get to hold our baby.” She said and he hummed.

“Yeah, you’re right about that.” He hummed as he tucked her hair behind her ear tenderly, “I love you so much, baby. More than I ever thought I could. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I promise that I will try my best for you and for Charlie, always.” He said with conviction and she smiled.

“I know you will, H. You already do.” She hummed as she grabbed his hand and kissed it and he smiled down at her. 

Y/N wished she could have Julie, Anne, and Hillary in there with her as well. She was only allowed to have her partner in the delivery room. She also felt an underlying sadness because anyone would want their family’s support in this moment.

“H?” 

“Yes, my love?” He asked her softly.

“What do you think he’ll look like? And be like?” She asked and he started to tell her how he envisioned their little boy. It was keeping her calm and giving her so much to look forward to and to push away the slight disappointment she was feeling. Their hushed conversation was so wholesome and well, his voice always helped soothe her, but especially now.

“Baby, I don’t want to mess anything up, but something’s off.” he said and she sighed.

“I was just…thinking of my family. It’s fine, but you know, just…sucks.” She said quietly.

“I’m sorry.” He said quietly, “Maybe they’ll come around when they see the baby.” He said and she smiled.

“Yeah, maybe. My mom does love babies.” She said with a smile.

“Fuck, I can’t wait.” He said with a broad smile and she reached for his face and kissed his lips quickly. “Wanna try and rest a bit more?”

“No, I’m alright.” She said, “Maybe we can FaceTime the ladies now. Just have a nice chat with them.”

“Yeah. Let me get my phone.” He said before going over to the go bag with their things. They talked to Julie, Anne, and Hillary for quite a while. They were sweet and encouraging, wishing her the very best. Then they made a call to Alyssa and Gemma. Gemma had given her some tips. Reminding her to listen to her body through this entire process. During the conversation with Gemma, Y/N’s contractions started to get far worse towards the end, leaving her wincing and inhaling sharply.

“Best to get the nurse now, H.” Gemma said and he nodded.

“Love you, babe. You’ll be amazing, alright!” Gemma said to Y/N who nodded and then they hung up.

She was beginning to feel a bit more nervous, scared, excited, happy… there were so many emotions! But she wanted to be as calm as possible for this. She was doing a lot of meditating; when the emotions would get too big she would close her eyes, acknowledge them, take a few deep breaths and let them go, like she learned in yoga class. 

“Can you bring me some more ice while you grab the nurse??”

“Yeah, of course.” He said and hurried out.

Y/N was so proud of Harry, he was doing a remarkable job of regulating himself to ensure that he continued perpetuating the vibe that she wanted to have in the delivery room. He was such a respectful and supportive partner. She really couldn’t have asked for anyone better than him to be beside her for this. Sure, she was doing the heavy lifting, but his support was an essential part of this delivery. They were a team and relied on each other to succeed. Now more than ever.

Harry returned with the nurse and her ice chips and when she checked she was bordering on 8 centimeters. This was excellent news. The nurse informed her that she would start prepping everything and that in about 20-30 minutes she would be good to start pushing. After a few minutes they started setting everything up and Y/N was starting to get nervous, so Harry was quick to grab her earphones and put on the playlist of her happy music. Encouraging her to close her eyes and just sing along quietly as he combed his fingers through her hair, handing her the cup of ice chips when she’d ask for some as the staff did their thing. And this is how they killed some time as they waited for the time to come.

They were currently singing along to “American Girl” quietly while she was free of contractions, she had about one song in between her contractions now, so things were moving along quickly. She was in the middle of crushing through some ice chips when her head fell back as she winced. She writhed around a bit as the pain peaked. She started to feel so much pressure between her legs it was unreal.

“Baby. Baby breathe.” He coached her and she tried to exhale smoothly, but it was coming out shakily.

“Oh my god…” she hissed with a scowl on her face when the worst of it passed. “I-it feels different than before. I think this is happening right now.” She whimpered, “Ow! Fuck!” She whined as her eyes started to fill with tears and he immediately reached for the call button on the bed.

“I’ve called the nurse, OK?” He assured she nodded. Moments later the nurse hurried into the room.

“Is everything alright?” She asked them. 

“I feel a lot of pressure and I just…feel like I want to push.” She explained before wincing again.

“Alright, let’s check you out.” She said and then took another peek before sticking her gloved hand in between her legs to feel for any changes and her eyes widened. “He’s an eager little guy! I think you’re just about ready, love. I’ll go get the doctor.” She assured with a smile as she removed the gloves and rushed out of the room. 

“You hear her, he’s coming.” Harry said to her with excitement and she nodded with a smile despite the pain she felt.

Moments later another contraction hit and she squeezed her legs together to fight the urge to push. She rolled her lips together and vocalized the pain through the harsh contraction. She moaned in pain and reached for his hand. Harry grabbed it immediately and let her squeeze as she exhaled shakily. Yes, it hurt how hard she was squeezing, he had no idea she even had that much strength in her! But this was as much as he could do for her right now so he would say nothing and take it, just as she was taking this feat on right now.

“You’re so fucking strong.” He said to her with a smile and she giggled despite the pain.

“I assume I’d have to be for this.” She said softly and he nodded and kissed her forehead with a smile. Just then the doctor came in with a few other nurses.

“Y/N, hi! I hear you’re ready to have this baby.” The doctor smiled at her.

“Yes. Beyond ready.” She let out a strained chuckle that the doctor reciprocated as she got geared up. One one of the nurses started to put a little monitor on her to gauge the contractions.

“Good. I think this will be a fast one.” She smiled at her. “Dad, are you planning on skin to skin with the baby?” She asked and Harry nodded right away. “Perfect, we’ll just clean him up and let him stick around with you for a bit.” The doctor said to them and they nodded. Harry then turned to her and grabbed Y/N’s hand, he was nearly trembling with excitement. His wide smile caused her to smile back despite the contraction that assailed her just then.

“We’re gonna meet him so soon!” He said as his eyes started to tear up and she nodded. She was already getting all misty-eyed as well just from all of the emotions. They were setting her up to get ready to push. Harry leaned down a bit and kissed her lips once more a few times, “You’re going to be amazing, yeah? So fucking amazing.” He whispered against her lips, “I love you the most.”

“I love you.” She hummed, “And remember what we talked about before.” She said and he shook his head.

“Yeah, but everything’s going to be great. OK? You’ve been in good spirits this whole time, been so calm, doing your breathing and mediations. You’ve got this.” He assured her and she nodded.

“I do. I’ve got this.” She repeated.

“Alright lovely, ready when you are.” The doctor said as she perched herself at the end of the bed, down between Y/N’s legs. Y/N nodded as one of the other nurses came to her other side and gave her a reassuring smile. “When you feel the pressure and the contraction bear your hips down and push, OK? Hold it as much as you can.” The doctor instructed and Y/N nodded. Her forehead beading with sweat as it suddenly started to feel a lot warmer than before. She glanced to Harry who just smiled at her reassuringly.

“Alright, get ready, Y/N.” The nurse beside her said and she just took a deep breath before exhaling it slowly.

“Here it is and push!” The doctor instructed and she put her entire strength into it. Clutching tight to the linens with one hand and the other in Harry’s, “Excellent job. Just hold it a bit more and good.” She said and she relaxed as the contraction passed and she caught her breath. She had about a minute break before she was instructed to push again and this happened a few more times. For the most part she was quiet, her screaming was all internal and she was taking in all of Harry’s affirmations as well, letting his words settle in and encourage her to keep going.

“Alright, great job. Give it one more go…” the doctor encouraged her. With this one she couldn’t help but groan in pain as the pressure just increased even further. It definitely was painful, more than anything she’d ever felt, but she could mentally cope with it, “Okay lovely, his head is down in the canal. You’ll be crowning soon, just take your time with this bit, OK?” She said and Y/N nodded as her tears started to stream down her face.

Harry was squeezing her hand just as hard as she started to push again. He was in awe of her determination. Of how calm she was, of how gorgeous she was and how strong she was. He bit his lip nervously as she groaned once again, pushing hard to help their baby descend.

“Alright, that’s good, Y/N. Relax a bit for me, OK?” The doctor said and she nodded and just tossed her head back on the bed as she panted a few times and Harry kissed her sweaty forehead and she smiled at him with tired eyes. It had been a long process to get her to this point. “Ready to push?”

“Not yet.” She said softly.

“Alright, just let it pass, let your body do its thing.” The nurse at her side said and she nodded.

“Can I sit up a bit more? I need a bit more leverage.” She said and she nodded and adjusted the top half of the bed to get it into a position that made her feel more comfortable.

“Better?”

“Yes. Much better.” She said with a gentle smile.

“OK, here comes another.” The doctor spoke up again and she bore her hips down, getting ready for further instructions, “Alright, lets focus on getting his head through with these next couple contractions alright?”

“OK.” She sighed.

“Here we go…a nice long push.” And she did as she was told, “Oh, very good, Y/N! He’s right there.” The doctor said, “And rest.” She exhaled shakily. The pressure was increasing even more and she was most scared of this part, but the position change had definitely helped her feel more in control of her pushing. “Alright, here comes another. Use the contraction, Y/N. Lean into it.” The doctor coached and again she grunted as she gave yet another push. The nurses were praising her as she gave it her all.

“Good girl, he’s just about to come out. His head is right there.” The nurse said with a smile.

“Really?” She sniffled and the nurse nodded. 

“Yes. Do you want to feel?”

“Can I?” She asked and the nurse nodded and she felt the doctor guide her hand and she gasped as she felt the little bulge of his head at her opening. “Oh my god…” she suddenly started crying, she was so happy. It was a joy she had never felt before. It was emanating from her.

“You’re so close, darling.” The other nurse assured her and she nodded and pulled her hand away.

“Here, clean your hand on this towel.” The nurse beside her spoke softly and she did so.

“Is there blood?” Harry asked her softly and Y/N nodded at him.

“Do you want to see?” The doctor asked Harry.

“Yes, but no. If there’s blood I will faint.” He explained through a nervous chuckle and they all laughed along with him for a bit before they instructed her to push again. 

She could feel as the baby was almost pushing itself down into her canal with her next pushes and the stretch of it slightly stung despite the epidural, but she could do it. She could brave this. 

“His head will be out with this next one, alright?”

“Already?!” Harry asked excitedly. He just wanted to hold his son.

“Yeah, he’s ready to meet you two.” The doctor smiled, “He’s a tiny, little fellow.” She said to Y/N, “So one big push and the rest is the easy part, alright?”

“Ok.” She exhaled shakily as the pain started to increase as the pressure of the baby’s head at her entrance started to increase with the oncoming contraction. “OK…OK…I can do it.” She whispered to herself.

“You can. You are doing it, my love.” Harry hummed from beside her, “Gonna get to hold him soon, yeah?”

“Yeah.” She sniffled.

“A big push!” The doctor coached, “Perfect. Push!”

“Push, baby! Push.” Harry said softly and excitedly. “You’re doing it!” He chuckled as his own tears slid down his cheeks.

Y/N strained through gritted teeth as she gave it her all. The nurse at her side helped pull her leg back a bit for more leverage and the sharp pain followed by the release of pressure and the delighted smile on the doctor’s face told her she had done it. At this point her tears started to fall freely, she was just so relieved and tired and excited and over this and eager to see their baby. Her heart was thumping loudly.

“There’s his head! Good job!” The doctor informed happily and Y/N just sighed in relief.

“Alright, she’s turning him now…Oh, he’s a cute one.” The nurse beside her said with a smile, “Push when you feel the need to, we have to get his shoulders through.” She informed and Y/N nodded. She winced and gasped in pain through the next few.

“Fuck…fuck!” She mewled as they tried to fit the rest of him through.

“S’alright lovely, just keep pushing. He’s nearly out.”

“I can’t anymore.” She whined quietly as she felt like she had nothing left to give.

“You can, baby. You can, you’re right there.” Harry encouraged, “You’re so strong, my love. Done so well. You’ve got it. Just a few more pushes, for me.” He encouraged her softly. “Let’s meet our baby, angel.” He said through his tearful smile and she nodded.

“One more time, Y/N!” The doctor encouraged happily, “You’re doing great!…Excellent!” She smiled, “And last one…” Y/N strained, giving it all her might until finally she heard their son’s cry and after that she tuned everything else out. She suddenly felt overheated and lightheaded and so fucking weak as they pulled the rest of his little body from her. 

Harry started sobbing the moment he saw them bring him up and then hurry to clean him. He turned to Y/N to see her head just thrown back as she caught her breath and he kissed all over her face, over and over. He was speaking to her but she wasn’t responding, she was just mentally clearing her head from this feat she’d just managed to get through. He was thanking her and telling her how perfect he was and how she’d done so well and how much he loved her as he struggled to catch his breath. He felt his heart explode as the nurse turned to him with Charlie in her hands and she asked him to help her with Y/N’s gown.

She glanced down to see Harry pulling down her nightgown and then seconds later Charlie was being handed over to her, the nurse wearing a bright smile as she got to hold her baby for the first time. She just let out a laugh of joy and hugged him carefully to her chest. He was a tiny little guy. She pressed him against her nipple and she glanced up at Harry with wide eyes at how he just latched on without hesitation. It was amazing that he just knew what to do.

“Fuck.” Harry sniffled as he looked down with so much pride pumping through his veins. Seeing Y/N with Charlie, that was his entire world just there. He was gentle as he reached out and and touched his little fingers. “He’s perfect.” He chuckled through his tears, “So small. He’s cute.” He mused as he just watched him feeding eagerly.

“Right. So happy he doesn’t look too much like an alien.” She whispered and he chuckled and nodded in agreement.

“Like 20% alien.” He said and she giggled and nodded in agreement before looking down at him.

“Hi Charlie, I’m your mom.” She hummed as she let her fingers gently trace along his profile. “Love you so much. You’re so perfect.” She whispered with pride.

“When he’s done nursing you can take him. Here’s a chair.” The nurse said and he nodded before turning his attention back to Y/N and Charlie. 

“You’re an easy one.” The doctor said to Y/N and she glanced over to her, “Just push a little bit to get the placenta out.” She instructed, she didn’t even notice when it happened, but assumed it had when the doctor was gone from between her legs. They were in their own little world as they cleaned up the area and Y/N as well.

“Congratulations Mrs. and Mr. Styles.” The doctor said to them with a smile, “One of the nurses will be back a bit later to conduct some standard tests. Just to ensure the baby’s vitals are normal and then some quick reflect tests. Then we can worry about the paperwork for the birth certificate and to explain a bit of the process for your aftercare, alright?” She smiled and they both nodded.

“Thank you so much, doctor.” Harry said with a smile and she nodded before excusing herself. The nurses were around for a bit more before they assured her that they’d be back to check on them in a little while. They thanked them as well before focusing back on the baby. He was now just nuzzled into Y/N’s chest and he stretched just a bit which made them coo.

“Take a picture, yeah?” She asked and Harry was quick to grab his phone and snap a few pictures and a video as well.

“Look.” He hummed as he showed her, “You look perfect with him.” He whispered as he showed her the video and she smiled, “Can I send this one in the group chat?” He asked and she nodded. 

“What were his weight and height? I missed it.” She said and he smiled.

“45.4 centimeters and 2.7 kilos.” He said softly.

“I don’t know what that means.” She giggled and he chuckled.

“Fucking metric system…hold on.” He said before converting it on his phone. “17 inches and just shy of 6 pounds.” He said and she nodded. He quickly sent off the video before setting his phone down on the bed and leaning back down to kiss her forehead. She turned and puckered her lips out and he smiled and kissed his lips.

“Thank you so much for reaming calm and for all of the lovely things you said to help me. Helped a lot.” She hummed and he chuckled and shook his head.

“Thank you for our baby! I mean look at him…God.” He hummed, completely awestruck.

“Want to hold him now?” Y/N asked Harry quietly. He was a bit hesitant, but nodded nonetheless. “Get you shirt off.” she said and he was quick to pull it off and he just set it down beside her. 

He knew how to hold babies, but he still hesitated just a bit before taking him from her hands. He was so tiny and defenseless. He couldn’t help but suddenly recall everything that he’d been told by Chloe, how he didn’t deserve this, how he wasn’t cut out for this. But suddenly Charlie blinked his eyes open and just looked at him before letting out a tiny hiccup and Harry chuckled and grabbed him right away before pressing him to his chest and he sighed in relief as he felt his warm and soft skin against his chest. He couldn’t help but get all teary-eyed again as he wriggled a bit until Harry sat down in the chair they had given him. He rubbed over his back and patted it gently to help him burp out any air bubbles from his feeding. He was completely enamored to feel Charlie’s little puffs of air against his chest. They were so subtle, but he held perfectly still to ensure that he could feel them.

“Baby.” He heard Y/N and he glanced up at her with a smile and it widened when he saw her taking a photo or a video of him. “He’s falling asleep again. You’re a natural.” She smiled.

“Think so?” He whispered as he tried to glance down at Charlie and she nodded.

“Yeah.” She hummed, smiling at him with pride. “Gonna send this one in the chat as well.” She said and he nodded excitedly. 

She was smiling so wide as Harry spoke to Charlie quietly. Telling him how he would love him and protect him and support him for his whole life. Telling him how happy he was to have him in his arms. She could see his apprehension melt away second by second as their baby got comfortable over his chest. He was going to be a phenomenal dad.

“Get some rest, baby.” Harry said to her.

“OK, but come here with him. We can share.” She said and he nodded.

Once Harry had enough space to sit with her, he settled in and she leaned her head on his shoulder as she watched Charlie breathing easily, just watching his little body rise and fall felt like the most perfect miracle. There were only good thoughts and excitement for what this new chapter of life would bring for them and their little family.

“Baby, how about we leave my tattoo as one angel and it’ll be Charlie? He’s our little angel, you know?” She whispered with a smile and he nodded.

“Yeah. I love that. Can maybe add some fillers with his birth flowers? What do you think of that?” He asked.

“Yeah, we can work on it together?”

“And you can give me a matching one?” He asked, “When you’re up for it, of course.”

“Yes! Yes, yes, yes.” She whispered excitedly and he chuckled before leaning down and kissing her head and then Charlie’s very gently. 

“Oh sweetheart, we’re gonna take such good care of you.” She hummed as she reached out to his little hand and he instinctively wrapped his fingers around hers.

“Thank you, baby. Thank you so much. You’ve made me the happiest person alive. Thank you.” Harry said to her with a big smile and she kissed his bicep before leaning on him and exhaling tiredly.

They had no idea what else life would throw at them, but with so much love in their hearts, they felt more than ready to brace through life together. To do anything to look after their little family. Nothing else mattered anymore, nothing else even felt close to this. It was somehow possible to feel more than joy. More than love. It’s like a whole new part of their hearts had suddenly been unlocked. This was the best day of their lives.

“Welcome to the world, Charlie. You’re gonna love it.” Harry whispered happily.

... THE END ...

Found this today. Not sure if the tagged blog is the creator, but the account is linked in the image:)

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[darbuckle21]

hi! (You DONT have to do this tonight, I just get ideas :) )

okay! Brahms, Vincent, And Ghosties x reader who is very shy? And they have a crush on them, like non-binary reader? And they are curvy? And they are just friends, but they end up just going to them saying that they had a nightmare and their reaction? Like friends to lovers?

-your favorite, ziggy <3

Yes ofc!!!!!!! Thanks so much Ziggy for all of your support💕💕💕💕

Info: I made sure to include alternate style in Brahms as a little treat for to you Ziggy!

Brahms

To Brahms you are his best friend. His favorite person on the planet, sure he doesn’t have much to compare it to but he loves you platonically of course. He loves how shy you are especially because you don’t enjoy talking to most people. In his eyes you are this way because you are his. He doesn’t realize the feeling he has are slowly turning less and less platonic. It started off as liking at your pants, they were black with a studded belt. He loves the way you dress the most cause he knows you are a sweetheart on the inside even if you wear a lot of black. In his eyes it’s like dressing up the sweatiest candy in a skull wrapper. Then he begins to notice how beautifully curvy you are. He loves to watch your hips sway when you walk or do dishes. He doesn’t realize he’s staring until you turn scolding him for staring lightheartedly of course. One night he wakes to you crawling into his bed tears streaming down your face. His mind immediately goes to worst case scenario. Who made his baby cry? “Brahms? I’m sorry I didn’t mean to wake you up I just had a bad dream, I’m sorry I’ll go back to my room if you want” you cry wiping your tears. He shakes his head opening his arms so you can crawl into them. He doesn’t even realize he’s not wearing his mask. It doesn’t matter all he cares about is making making you feel better. He is fully prepared to kill whoever made his sweet baby cry. That’s when it clicks for him, his sweet baby? He truly loves you and he now realizes it’s always been that way. He looks down at you to find your staring at him with the most beautiful loving expression he’s ever seen. He looks at your lips as if asking before he leans in halfway letting you meet him in the middle. His heart flutters when you finally kiss. He pulls you closer cuddling into you protectively. Yeah there’s no leaving now.

Vincent Sinclair

Vince isn’t used to gentle people, or even quiet people. He’s always been the quiet one, in fact he barely talks. It’s not that he can’t it’s just hard when your brothers always calling you a freak. So when you ever so kindly asked for help on your car even Bo was surprised. He found you to sweet to kill. He didn’t like it when you found the town charming and chose to stay. Vincent however could not be happier. Your friendship started with you watching him work on his sculptures. You of course did not know what was beneath the wax. He made sure to hide that side of himself from you. He couldn’t even imagine life without you and that would surely scare you off. You never pestered him to show his face in fact when he decided to show you, you kept repeating “you don’t have to if you don’t want”. He slept in the basement most nights so when you come downstairs to shake him awake making sure he’s okay he was confused. “Sorry, I just had a nightmare where you where killed by a melting wax building and I wanted to make sure your okay” you whisper nervously. His heart melted at your words, you are too sweat for your own good. He scoots back in his bed making room for you. He loves you, it all started that day he showed you his face. He never thought he deserved you though. Why would someone like you ever like someone like him? The world is twisted that way. “Sorry to bother you” you apologize looking at him in his eyes. You look at him like someone would look at an angel. “You are the most genuine human I have ever met Vince, and the most caring and sensitive. Not to mention handsome” you smile lovingly. He leans In slowly whispering in his unused gravely voice “Kiss?”.

Ghost boys 💕

Stu loves your curves and he will never let you forget it. He loves bragging about you and how beautiful you are. Billy isn’t as vocal about his opinions but he won’t ever let you question whether he loves your curves. Unlike Stu he likes your personality more. You Shyness made you all the more fun to tease. The man loves to watch your face get all red. It wasn’t always this way though. You and Billy met each other after his parents split up. In fact you helped him though a lot of his anger against his dad after. Stu introduced you too actually, at a party when he was with Casey. You and Stu grew up best friends. You too started dating Stu first then Billy joined making it a throuple later on. They loved you and cared deeply, they wouldn’t ever put you in harms way. So when they threw the party they didn’t invite you of course it wasn’t anything new since you didn’t like party’s much anyways you were just glad Stu didn’t drag you to one again. The next morning when yo I saw the news of the party you were devastated immediately rushing to the hospital where your boyfriends recovered. You couldn’t believe Sydney’s dad would do something like that, but then again no one ever expects these things. After the incident you had nightmares all the time of your boyfriends dying. Oddly enough they didn’t or maybe they just didn’t tell you. You don’t care as long as they held you close wiping your tears as you cried explaining your dream. They feel bad putting you through the stress they did. Stu even wishes he could go back and change what happened for your sake.

[prrism]

If you still write for Techno could I ask for something like a mentor/babysitter reader mix type thing(if you don’t that’s totally fine)? Like reader is the one to find a young Techno somewhere in the Nether or whatever and take him in. Also reader is friends with Phil and Mumza and they all share parenting tips and hold play dates because I think that’d be adorable.

I do still write for Techno and this idea is too cute not to write ☺️, so after too many ideas and different drafts this is the final result. Hope you like it

To Raise a Blood God

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part ?

Summary: What was supposed to be a routine trip to the Nether ended up being more then you bargained for…

Characters: Technoblade x Reader

Relationships: platonic/parental

Pronouns: unspecified/kept neutral

You wipe the sweat off your brow for the umpteenth time, no matter how many times you come to the Nether the heat will always feel slightly overwhelming. Still you trek forward making your way to a familiar group of piglins, you’ve been trading with them regularly whenever you’d come to the area and they’d grown quite familiar with you. Of course to be safe you still dawned some golden accessories, but it no longer had to be a full chest plate of armour. Reaching the group you’re greeted to happy grunts from the piglins while you pull out several gold ingots and pass them around.

Today was good haul, ender pearls, spectral arrows, heck you even managed to get a potion. You’re more then ready for the trek back home but pause, sensing a presents lurking nearby, cautions now you continue forward and once you reached the warped forest the Nether portal was located you were sure that whoever’s there was, in fact, following you…

“I can sense you following me, come out now and there won’t be trouble.” You say lowly, a hand on your weapon as you survey your surroundings for any sign of movement. You drop a bit of the defensive stance when the culprit ends up being a baby piglin stumbling into the open. “Aww, hey there little guy. Did you follow me all the way here for one of these?” You chuckle softly and kneel down to match his height as you pull out one of the spare gold ingots you had left in your inventory, immediately they come up to you and marvel at the item but hesitate to take it. “Go ahead, I have plenty more back home.” You encourage, the piglin takes the gold and looks it over awestruck, he squeals happily and tugs your hand in a gesture to follow him. Playing along you get up and let him lead you to a less dense area of the forest where finally lets go and holds up his new item like a weapon. You give a light laugh.

“Oh no no, if you want to fight me you’re gonna need more then just an ingot.” You look into your inventory and pull out some wooden training swords you didn’t have time to store before your trip, handing one to the little piglin. “There you are, much more suitable for a duel.” Looking very eager the piglin puts the gold away and takes the sword, once again holding out his weapon. You give smirk and instantly knock him off his feet, he whines but gets back up to try and land a hit on you. “Wait wait wait,” you quickly pause his actions, “before you do that, try broadening your stance so you aren’t knocked off your feet again.” You show him a more proper stance and begin your “duel”.

You spent more time sparing and teaching your new piglin friend then you thought you would, you weren’t complaining it was fun, but sadly all good things have to come to an end. Putting your sword away, you double check you still had everything on you before having to bid farewell to the baby piglin, who was looking at you confused and somewhat expectantly.

“What’s the face for?” You give him a playful glare, he lets out a small oinking noise. “Awww, as much as I’d love to continue this I really have to go. If you want more you’ll have to wait for my next visit. Now you should run on home, it can get dangerous if you stay here by yourself.” You shoo him off and continue your journey home, having to take a second to reorient yourself in the right direction. Finally the portal comes into view, you let out a relieved sigh only to suck in your breath again at the sound of approaching steps. You whip around only to see the baby piglin from earlier, he pauses in his movements and stares at you with wide eyes, like he’d been caught doing something bad.

“Did you follow me?” You ask rhetorically letting out a big sigh. “Look kid, you’re adorable I won’t deny that, but you can’t keep following me, you need to go home.” You urge only to notice his more hesitant behaviour and messy appearance even for piglin standards. It was starting to click why he kept following you but you really hoped you were wrong. “Do… do you not have a home?” You internally cringe at your own words, but the subtle shake of his head is enough of an answer.

“Oh man, I uhh…” You felt bad, you may not have known the little guy for long but couldn’t help feel like there was a reason he’d come to you of all people. Even still there was one huge problem that stood in the way of any ideas trying to form in your head. “Listen, I want to help you, truly. But I can’t just take a piglin into the Overworld with me. The changes could be too sudden and your body wouldn’t be able to handle it.” You explain as simply as possible, hoping not to scare him too much. The piglin balls his hands into fists and starts shaking, you thought he was about to cry but to your surprise a puff of smoke engulfs your vision and once it clears a child is standing in place of the piglin.

“Wait! You-you’re a hybrid?!” You stare in shock. “Okay… this is starting to make more sense then I’d like it to.” You mumble to yourself. It’s not uncommon for people to fear hybrids, especially the more powerful ones like elytrians or piglins. Some of those people act on this fear by taking out young hybrids before they have a chance to grow up, it was pointless cruelty in your eyes. You take in a few deep breaths to calm yourself. “I’m honoured you’d want to put your trust in me after whatever happened to you. I may not know the details but I’m sure it’s been hard.” You pause to think over what you’ll say next. “Well, if-if you really want this. If you truly want to come with me, I swear on my life I’ll do everything in my power to take care of you and keep you safe. But it’s you who needs make that decision.” You say, offering your hand. There’s a long pause and he still looks hesitant, staring up at you uncertain, you’d almost laugh at the change in behaviour compared to when you were sparing if the situation were different. Instead you chose to look back at him with patient eyes waiting for him to make his decision. After minutes of him staring and you patiently waiting for an answer, he slowly walks up to you and places his hand in yours. Using your free arm you pick him up, catching the poor kid off guard but he quickly calms down.

“So, you got a name?” You ask, he gives a few small grunts and shakes his head in response. “Still not good with English, well we can work on that later…” You trail off in thought. “Let’s see. I can’t just keep referring to you as kid that just doesn’t sit right, but if I am going to give you a name it’s gotta be something cool. Something that’s spoken with purpose and power, so everyone knows who not to mess with… aaannnddd I’m rambling.” You sigh, this was not easy. You ponder on names while you get a good look at the child in your arms, pick hair unkempt and matted, red eyes staring back at you in minor curiosity. “Technoblade.” It came out so naturally you weren’t even sure if you actually said it, although judging by the look on his face he seemed to like it. “Alright, that settles it. Your name is now Technoblade, but we’ll just call you Techno for short. Sound good to you?” With a nod and an oink of approval you smile and turn to finally refocus on the portal in front of you. “Good. Now let’s go home.” With that you step through the portal.

As I said before, I have waaaayyyy too many ideas for this that I couldn’t fit it all into one story. So I decided I’ll make another part to this. I hope you guys liked this as much as I had fun writing it 😁

[mistfallengw2]

In honor of Pride Month, here's a rapidfire ramble about my OCs' orientations and how those and their actual preferences play off with their personalities and shape key moments of their story. Bonus context for my hc on queerness in Tyria.

Aurelia Dragonwings - Pansexual homoromantic Girls are pretty. I mean, boys are neat too, but she only ever had eyes for Ardea and later on Ellara, and that clear preference never had her experiment with the other side. The one and only experience she had with a guy was with her best friend Obsius, specifically when Ardea wanted to have a cub and she took one round "just to try it", only to end up having a cub as well (Adamas is an oopsie baby, yes). In general, labels are very confusing to her and the topic of romance held a lot of grief for years, so she would avoid answering any question on the matter, but if someone were to ask her friends, they'd just say she "doesn't know she's lesbian for someone".

Adamas Crystalsoul - Pansexual He's a pretty boy with great pedigree and had waves of people interested in him, but in the fahrar he was too focused on becoming Legionnaire to entertain childhood crushes, and then his heart got snatched away by Maeveryl before he even considered romance an option, still recovering from the loss of his would-be warband. Countless hearts got crushed by the fact that the Pact Commander's son was open about dating a sylvari and being loyal to them, yet Deryn somehow managed to woo the guy (only because Maeveryl sometimes quite literally pushed him towards her). Overall he has a feminine and androgynous preference, though like his mother he never had a proper chance to explore romance with guys.

Tocchix - Demisexual panromantic (trans guy) He spent most of his teenage years feeling sort of inadequate for romance because he never felt "the full pull" towards anyone (not helped by the comparison to a serial crush-haver like Fynn, his best friend in Lion's Arch), so he preferred to focus on training hard and join the Order of Whispers, figuring that it'd be a problem for his older self. Terrible at picking up on flirting attempts and needing to have it very slowly and clearly spelled out for him, he missed a ton of chances with many, and that was not helped by the fact that when he falls for someone, he becomes the definition of devotion, not seeing anyone else even to his detriment. He only ever fell for Iotta, Poffi and, many years later, Huki.

Maeveryl - Panromantic asexual (non-binary) While they are pan, they do have a strong preference for masculinity, or better, a general aversion towards feminine behavior and appearance. They had their first experience with romance with their saplinghood best friend, Morwen, and they quickly figured out femininity wasn't really for them, both for their own body and in a partner. After that, they only had another experience that ended bitterly, and then Adamas became their heart. Years later, when Deryn joins their relationship with Adamas, they don't share romantic feelings for each other, though they quickly become quite platonically affectionate with each other.

Ellara Echodancer - Homosexual Just lesbian. Girls gals girls. Only women of all kinds. She's totally not a hot mess, because she's got rizz and isn't afraid to use it, even just to have a little innocent flirty fun that totally isn't a distraction.

Hel Ravenlost - Homosexual G g girls... pr... etty... Don't worry, after losing Sieran without having been able to tell her how she felt for years, she does get better at not completely hiding her feelings. Luck isn't on her side, but third time's the charm, I swear!

Bunnie - Pansexual demiromantic (non-binary) She likes to sleep around, so anyone willing and compatible (both personality-wise and physically) is fair game for her to have a little no-strings-attached fun. As for the romantic side, I elaborated on it a bit here, but in short she does want romantic relationships and isn't afraid of showing the kind of interest in others that could lead to that, but she always had issues with developing feelings of the romantic kind and having them last, so she tends to coyly hide behind a bit of an emotionally-nonchalant facade until she feels safe to love someone.

Ethanryel - Asexual aromantic (agender) Just never felt anything of either kind of attraction, and that's very much fine for them. Bunnie once explained queerplatonic relationships to them, but that ended up being a sore point for them. The closest thing to that could have been their bond with Grace, a Zephyrite gal who had taught them a lot about healing and voiced for them to join the Zephyrite on their last travel. She had a pretty evident crush on them yet she was the first that didn't make them uncomfortable, but before they got to talk about anything of that matter, she was mortally wounded in the crash in Dry Top, and they never forgave themselves for not having been able to save her. Years later, when Aurene branded their arm to save them, Ethanryel took the title of Grace of Aurene in memory of their friend.

Deryn - Pansexual Gender doesn't matter to her, if one is a nice and hot charr, they're a nice and hot charr. Probably if Mae were a charr she'd have made a move on them as well, but after the initial fascinated curiosity towards the very concept of sylvari, only strong platonic feelings towards them are left.

Markus Blake - Bisexual Due to his parents being in a queerplatonic relationship and being told since really young that he'd have assured the freedom to choose they nearly didn't get (Nora and Lionel were childhood best friends who married each otherso that they could have the kid they both did want and be done with further family expectations, with her being lesbian and him aroace), he never really thought much of romance, thinking he'd just know when he found "the one". When he met Kai, he thought he'd found that one and hoped she'd eventually return his feelings for years, failing at being clear with her about it while ignoring what he felt towards Fynn, the best friend he had found at the same time. It took him a while, but, by what felt just short of divine intervention, he eventually figured out that the "one" was actually "two".

Nari - Bisexual homoromantic Gals is where it's at. She does find feminine people hot in general and had a few experimental flirts across the gender spectrum, but proper relationships are something she knows she wants only with gals. She believes that such kind of strong confidence in her own ideas was what caught Hel's attention in spite of not being norn, not realizing that Hel prefers non-norn until much later.

Iotta - Pansexual demiromantic Her opinion of romance is that it sucks, like all that comes with it. Sure, people can be hot in ways that make sense from a biological standpoint, but for her whole life she couldn't imagine willingly being in a relationship, because everyone else is grossly incompetent and, at best, more annoying than what she could deal with on a daily basis. Being in a relationship with a dork like Tocchix only confirmed that she hates it, because that kind of implicit vulnerability and distracting fondness for someone else goes against everything she knows to be safe, and she utterly despises the fact she wants more of it and that she played herself into it by getting that brilliant idea of manipulating him in the first place. And then being "left behind" shattered any positive perception of romance nearly irreparably, and it drives her mad that she can't get that yearning blade out of her heart so it can rot in peace. So yeah, romance sucks, and it sucks that she fell for it that one time.

Poffi - Demisexual biromantic Growing up in a small krewe that was part of the same polyamorous pod for years and that treated her like their own progeny, she was exposed to plenty of relationship examples, so she thought she had a pretty clear idea of what she was like by the time she left home to join the Order. Sadly she never got the chance to test her theories due to her general insecurities, and she also missed the pretty important part where maybe some girls can be just as romanceable as guys. (hey, at least AU!Poffi gets to go through quite the poly rollercoaster)

Daunte Burstspell - Homosexual He's a simple charr: he liked his guys hot like his fire, and life was not a little fun without the risk of burns. Verge was his flame since childhood, and they openly shared their warmth with many others. Daunte continued doing so after losing him, and even though it was never the same, he did genuinely care for the young norn he so gleefully annoyed to no end.

Hagan Wesson - Pansexual Forced to run away from Hoelbrak and break up with his childhood sweetheart, Gretna (Hel's sister), he eventually tried to get over it in some way, and ended up having some... positively revealing experiences. Swinging for years between times where he wanted to enjoy himself without attachment and others where he tried to ignore everything else to focus on his duty in the Vigil, after Daunte's death he's been more open about enjoying other people's company, and eventually ended up being reunited with Gretna after he had already settled with Flom.

Flom - Pansexual Good thing he likes everything and is quick to like others, because he genuinely believed "beggars can't be choosers" for the longest time. Even better thing, he now has people he likes and who chose him first (and a demon in his head who regularly calls him out on bs he should unlearn).

Zehmik - Homosexual (masculine non-binary) Guys are just neat, sorry gals. Lost count of how many flings he entertained during his years in the Mist War, always keeping feelings at arms' length due to the risky nature of their situation and a heartbreak he never recovered from. The occasional experiment only confirmed his very serious case of gay gay homosexual gay.

Edraas Noiza - Asexual aromantic (?) Due to being a highly experimental hybrid, its body is a biological mess that may have yet to fully mature and its perception of emotions is different from that of all other sentient species, so the concept of romance or anything of that nature is downright alien to it.

Lenorey - Asexual ?romantic She doesn't really get what the big deal about romance is, not beyond just preferring someone's company over others', while sex is just an activity that can be fun. In general she cared more about getting high off of toxins, so it's all of little interest to her. Now, finding a weird little asura that is literally toxic, gives you more toxins as part of the experiments she asked to perform on you, and you get just a little bit high when you kiss her? Maybe that's what love feels like.

[kaylinalexanderbooks]

⭐ 💧 🍏 📀 🍒

A few for the ask game!

Heyyy thanks for the ask! Sorry getting to this a little late. (From this jumbo ask game)

I choose Noelle

⭐ What is your OC afraid of? Any crippling phobias or some such? How do they act when scared and what helps them calm down? Does anyone ever find your OC scary? Why?

Noelle is afraid of a few things. One is her privacy. She doesn't make her thoughts known - most opinions she expresses come from her mom - but she especially doesn't like showing deeper emotions or insecurities. Her mom is respectful of her privacy, therefore there is no reason to lose it.

The second is the unknown. Noelle likes staying in her comfort zone. Anything out of it is, well, uncomfortable. She hates the idea of improv.

The third is losing her mom's approval. She's not insecure about this per se, but she deeply sees this as a nightmare.

Noelle usually does not back down when afraid, though she will if she has a reason to do it.

To get over fear, Noelle will usually need alone time, followed by a one-on-one assurance of the tangible facts. If she breaks something into smaller chunks, she can focus more. Maybe cooking afterward to let out the stress.

Plenty of people find Noelle scary. The first to notice was Akash during a training exercise. Her telekinesis grows rapidly in a very short time. Noelle doesn't see an issue, and that's what makes her more scary. She just gets in a zone with it.

💧 What is the earliest memory your OC can recall? Do they know what their first words were or remember where they took their first steps? Do they have any mementos of their childhood they’ve kept such as a stuffed toy or tiny baby clothes?

Noelle's earliest memory is her mom teaching her to make a PB&J sandwich.

Her first words definitely "mama" and first steps at home.

I feel like Noelle still has a tiny baby blanket with her name stitched into it.

🍏 Does your OC have any triggers? What is the history behind these triggers and are they related to any disorders or mental illnesses? In what ways does your OC react to being triggered?

Noelle's biggest triggers are when someone says something contradictory. If something doesn't make any sense, she kinda freaks out. Noelle is definitely some type of neurodivergent but I'm not sure what yet.

Noelle tends to overfocus on specific facts, might get a little extreme, and become more aware of nitty gritty details than usual. In the worst cases she may withdraw, become overwhelmed, and run mainly on anger.

📀 How easy is it to shock your OC? To confuse them? To lie to them, to manipulate them? How are they with feelings of trust? Can your OC be trusted?

Noelle gets shocked when dealing with anything out of her comfort zone. If it makes logistical sense in Noelle World, she's not shocked.

Unfortunately lying and manipulating and trust might come easy to someone tricking Noelle if you know where to get her. Play to her biased and all.

Noelle can be trusted with the objective, hard facts. Anything else, her judgement is clouded even if she's not a liar.

🍒 What kind of things do they expect from their relationships? Does this differ between platonic relationships and romantic ones? Is your OC “demanding” or a door mat? What kinds of things do people expect from them in a relationship?

Noelle is more reserved with dating. She expects traditional roles and predictability.

Similar things to friendships: more reserved. More based on respect than understanding. But that's the main difference - she's more particular about compatibility in a romantic relationship.

I'd say Noelle is more demanding. People can expect her to be logical, dependable, and loyal.

Thanks for the ask!

TSP intro

TSP tag list (ask to be +/-): @thepeculiarbird @illarian-rambling @televisionjester @finchwrites

@nebula--nix @literarynecromancy

[gaypanicmode7766259]

oooh okay how about reader was in the place of siddiq when alpha took everyone. carol stops talking to r and r over hears her talking to daryl “i can’t even look at her.”

and maybe r has a panic attack or some kind of break where she’s back in that place where it’s all happening and carol finds her.

You guys don't understand how happy these requests make me- (I know they are angst, but I'm so happy people are asking me to write things, especially about Carol!! Yes, I'm aware i'm being stupid-)

Oh baby girl, I'm so sorry..

Carol peletier x reader

(You decide if it's romantic or platonic because I could see it going both ways-)

Warnings: panic attacks, depression, running away, angst (I was half asleep writing this so if it's bad I'm sorry-)

After the pikes, I shut down.. I was locked inside my head with the memories of what happened that night.. why did they spare me?.. Why did she spare.. me?..

I sat on a cot after the fact just lost in my head.. Carol avoided me when me and siddiq walked out of those woods.. why would she.. avoid me?.. and then I came back to reality when I heard her voice.. I slowly and quietly got up from the cot and walked up to the curtain door just standing out of sight as I listened to her and daryl talk..

"They awake?.." Carol asked in an almost calm voice, and daryl hummed a yes "are.. you gonna go see 'em?.." he asked, sounding almost as confused as I felt.. "I.. I don't think I could even look at them.." Carol confessed, and I couldn't hear again.. I felt hurt and lost.. and I needed her.. she was my... my person..

~a while later~

I was back on my feet working again and doing my part.. but I was different.. I was quiet and distant from everyone. I was always lost in my head, and I basically just ignored almost everyone.. we were going to meet them that night.. the council and.. she apparently requested me to be there.. why would she do that..

I was still going to go.. to figure this mess out..

~later that night~

On the way there, I stopped.. I stared at a familiar building.. I could feel eyes on me.. and then daryl came up to me. "Hey you-" was all I could hear before everything went quiet again, and then I looked at Carol..

My breathing got heavy, and I couldn't think straight, so I just ran off.. I could hear daryl yelling my name as I ran, and tears started to pool in my eyes before rolling down my cheeks and off into the wind while I ran.. I only stopped in the middle of the woods when I fell from how bad my lungs were burning.. I just started to sob, not thinking about the walkers or the whispers.. I couldn't think about anything but her words.. "I can't even look at them"

After everything I went through.. why wasn't she there.. was supposed to protect me... she promised..

"Honey.." I jumped at the sudden voice and then looked up to see Carol.. she still wasn't looking at me fully. "Go away.." I whispered my voice rough with my crying. I was trying so hard to look numb.. trying to push my emotions away but it only made it worse as those images of that night popped into my head and I started to cry in a panic as I held my head hitting it a few times trying to get them out..

Carol immediately came over to me, kneeling in front of me and quickly grabbing my hands to stop me from hitting myself. "Look at me, baby.. look at me.." Carol said calmly, but you could hear the worry.. "Baby, you are safe.. you're safe, honey.. you're ok? You're not there. You are here, with me. you're safe." She kept repeating as she cupped my check to make me look at her and wipe my tears..

When she saw the pain in my eyes, I could see the guilt and sadness in hers.. "Oh... baby girl, I am so sorry.." Carol pulled me in for a very tight hug..

"I'm so sorry.."

[gingersnap2010]

Yandere Platonic Lelouch x male Autistic! Kid! reader (Code Geass)

Name: Lelouch

Type: Platonic, Protective, Possessive, Delusional, Obsessive, and Controlling

Nickname: Name, possum, chaos in the flesh, and lord of discord

 Lelouch at first has no idea what to make of you. He probably meets you at one of Nunnally’s special classes. He’s shocked to discover your just a kid. Though with your needs it makes sense why you were here since Nunnally attending special classes for people who need it had greatly increased. 

 When he finds out you are autistic, he isn’t very sure what that means. He literally has to ask more than a dozen people, before researching it online himself.

 Eventually, you come over with Nunnally for dinner and he gets to see your quirks in action. You eat out of a compartment box, which has the correct amount of portions you can handle. You hate veggies with a firey passion, more so than his hatred towards his father. You proceeded to tell him your conspiracy theory on the veggie industry and how they will take over the world. 

He pretended to be interested even though he had absolutely no idea what you were even saying to him at the rate you were going. He learned you talk fast and loud when excited. Personal space is a word that is not in your vocabulary, also privacy.

You are very blunt and see the world bluntly, if Nunnally needs help getting into her nightgown. You offer with absolutely no intentions of doing anything funny with her. It makes sense for your age but with sex questions well…

He’s worried that no one has told you about how babies are made. Only to be proven wrong with your very open discussion on the topic. He learns you like being prepared for future events, your boldness of sex. Is a copping measure to make sure you don’t do sex wrong.

 He finds it endearing in a strange way.  Though you couldn’t discuss sex so often, then again you were one to discuss open issues in society so he doesn’t mind. Though he does keep ohgi the hell away from you!

However you have no table skills, you use sporks only, with the occasional spoon for deserts /cereals, and soups and a knife for meats. You have a variety of strange interests. You know more about zero than the average joe, which makes him sweat like you wouldn’t believe. 

Then there’s your animal hobby, you just love possums hence the nickname. He actually learns more about the animal than he used to because of you. Then there's the time you spout some random ass animal fact out of the blue and it catches him off guard. 

“ Hey lelouch! Kangaroos pause their pregnancies in times of drought! Isn’t that neat?!” you yelled rushing into his bathroom as he was getting out of the shower.

Cue him being perplexed as to why you are there and then you follow up

“ also there’s soap on your-” he cuts you off before you announce it to Nunnally

“ ah I see thanks name! Got it!”

“Also Nunnally says hi!” you chirp

“ hi back!” Lelouch yelled trying to cover himself 

Then there was the whole fancy dinner incident. Truthfully he should have told Milly you wouldn’t understand caviar.

” Where are the nuggets?”

“ name this is a fancy restaurant they don’t have chicken nuggets,” Lelouch whispered

“ macaroni?” you ask

“ no,” Suzaku said eyeing you 

“ Is there a kid's menu?!” you shout at the waiter, who turns confused

“ oh my god……” Milly groaned

“ Can we go to Mcdonald's?” you ask

Lelouch smacked his head on the table.

He  becomes your dad, without realizing it. He’s like Mr. mom, seriously he figures out a schedule for you after he convinces your guardian to let you move in. May have used his geass for that. 

Your social skills are zero to none, and so, is the perception of volume.

“ HEY LELOUCH!!!! NINTENDO!!!!” you scream happily pointing to a  pokemon manga

“ name!! shush we’re in a library!” Lelouch hissed 

 When you get hurt or sent to an area he’s gonna wreak havoc on, that's when yandere mode goes on full. He keeps you locked up after that. He feels a bit guilty but he may use your trust in him, to make you stay away from the television if he’s not there, and so on. But it’s honestly for your own good. 

He goes permanently after a bullying situation at school where someone calls you a retard after you did not understand something. He was livid at the person and has a smile the next day when they are found dead. 

This is a good display of his protectiveness, his delusion is in the thinking you are like Nunnally who he perceives is made out of glass. So instead of helping you in a way that would let you become more independent, he caters to your needs.  

  Don’t like watching movies if there's a sad moment in it? Perfect he’ll set up animal documentaries, and animal learning shows instead.  Or craft shows, you name something g rated he’s got it hooked up to the tv. C.C. is like a mum to you so he sees you often cuddling up to her. It makes him jealous, though when you cuddle him he gets flustered easily. He’s shy about hugs sometimes.

C.C. basically gets you stuff to keep busy with, she also teaches you about the history she had experienced. So your understanding of history greatly improves, and you learn a few more languages. She also is great to teach you anything since she is patient and mellow, and has also learned various teaching methods over the years. 

So while your skills don’t improve with people, academically you skyrocket. You're able to get your point across faster with higher-thinking words. Such as parched, instead of thirsty, and so on. It helps you fit in with the higger standing kids when you do go outside so that’s a plus.

  Lelouch calls you chaos in the flesh after the tube city incident in the club room, your idea which you somehow convinced Milly of. Then again she’s had outlandish ideas too. Was to make a giant system of tubes for hamsters. Then set them loose across the school as animal enthusiasm and awareness. 

  You also drench yourself in paint and tried to paint with your body. So yeah, chaos in the flesh. He calls you the lord of discord for the poker game incident that drove him and Suzaku up the wall. When they learned you had somehow been playing with Uno cards. Then said Yahtzee at the end. Truth be told he should have guessed that smile did not seem to get the point of the game. 

C.C. then congratulated you on the discord you created. Hence the nickname.

 You also hog the blanket, yeah you sleep in his bed. You have trouble sleeping alone. Your mind at night tells you that if someone is there they will protect you from whatever monster may come after you. You are not wrong in his case, but the point still stands. Every night you also sleep walk so he has put up baby gates and extra walls, in order to prevent you from getting hurt.

 When he becomes king, he’s hesitant about how you’ll take his death. Since you seem not to deal with the concept very well. So he may tell you he’s gonna be back. This is before he knows he's got code. You also like stealing his hat and sitting on the throne with your favorite drink and people watch. It spooks the guards that’s for sure. 

 You also like playing with the limo’s buttons. Much to the annoyance of the driver. Your favorite thing to do though is to sneak under his robes without him knowing then pop your head threw them scarring him every single time!

You also take a fancy to watch sleeping beauty. He’s not sure why though….

When’s he back with memories and code, you launch yourself at him before kola hugs him. He’s trapped by you and knows it. It takes bribing from Suzaku before you even consider letting go. You watch him like a hawk since he was gone for so long. 

  Lelouch sighs and lets you lay on him as he walks with C.C. to their next location. Yeah, he’d figured out how to keep you with him, so you ain’t dying anytime soon. When you ask what the funny tattoo is for, Lelouch just tells you it’s like a bracelet.

C.C Has dubbed you The Jelly bean of absolute Mayhem. You like it cause it makes you sound powerful, as you try to imitate what Lelouch does with his eyes. Lelouch just sweats in confusion when he sees you trying to act all threatening. 

He tried teaching you chess once, and he watched in horror as you ate the pieces. C.C. learns you are more of a tic-tac-toe person. You do it in the dirt with a tree branch you found.  The most recent incident was when you managed to find a possum and wanted to keep it. It liked you, but it hissed at Lelouch with fiery hatred! The possum had to go, but he got you a plushie which you dubbed mrs. possum.

All in all, not the worst yandere…. right?

[thefanficmonster]

hi ! can you write jacob custos being jealous/angry when his girlfriend starts hanging out more & more with someone else, please

Aww my baby Jacob 🥺🥺🥺 Definitely sweetie! Hope you enjoy 💕

Childish Idiocy

Pairing: Jacob Custos x Reader (Female) [The Quarry]

Warnings: Jealousy, Swearing

Genre: FLUFF, Humor

Summary: see request above

Jacob had been pestering Y/N all of May to join him in working at Hackett's Quarry. She'd originally had plans to work elsewhere and closer to the college she's been planning to go to but when those plans fell through, she'd overjoyed her boyfriend by asking him to put in a good word for her with the owners of the camping grounds and the resort in hopes of finding a spot among the summer staff.

Needless to say, Jacob wouldn't have taken no for an answer even if Chris Hackett's answer had been 'no'.

Although they had been hoping to take on the same responsibilities, their expectations weren't fulfilled. Instead, because of her culinary expertise, she'd found a spot in the kitchen alongside another guy who'd proven skilled in that field named Nick.

The two made fast friends, forming a strong - but still platonic - bond over their work and interests. In fact, she's been like an older sister to him, mentoring him through easier culinary strategies and crushes he can't confess.

Too bad Jacob fails to see that factor.

Rightfully so. If the other counselors hadn't known him and Y/N are dating, they'd definitely arise dating rumors of Nick and Y/N. All would be terribly wrong, but they wouldn't be entirely to blame - what meets the eye seems a lot more romantic than platonic. Poor Abi would agree too.

Jacob took it harder than her though. And showed it in a very out-of-character way that alerted Y/N to his change of mood right away.

The super friendly, happy, himbo teddy bear started being much colder towards you. Sitting next to Dylan instead of you, hanging out by the lake with Ryan afterhours instead of spending time with you, picking other people to supervise his group of kids along with him.

It's all strange and very off-putting. So she wasted no time asking him about it.

Or tried to not waste any time - she just couldn't catch him alone until the night he was walking back after cleaning up from the bonfire. Luckily, he was alone.

And luckily no one heard the scream he let out when his arm was grabbed and he got dragged amidst the trees near the counselors' cabins.

“Shhh! SH!“ Her hand clamps over his mouth. It’s a funny situation they’ve found themselves in. He’s quite a bit taller than her and yet he’s practically shitting his pants with fear.

That is, until he realizes it’s her, “Y/N?! What the hell?!” He removes her hand, allowing him freedom of speech once more but he once again forgets the tonal rule.

“Shhh! For fuck’s sake, shut the fuck up, Jacob!“ She’s forced to shush him, her tone brought up to a whisper yell.

“I shut the fuck up? You freaking kidnapped me?“ He hisses back but at least he does it quietly.

Y/N rolls her eyes, “I just pulled you slightly, don’t be dramatic.” Crossing her arms over her chest, she gives him a particularly bitter glare, “If you avoided me for a couple more days I might’ve even gone the whole eleven yards. A van, rope and everything!”

Jacob’s features twist in confusion, the shadows of the moon’s light venturing between the tree branches dancing across his way in a way that makes his expression almost funny. But she can’t allow herself to find any humor in the situation currently.

“I’m not avoiding you...“ He defends himself but his words have no heft when he doesn’t believe them either. So, he switches to an even worse approach, “Ok, fine, so what if I am? It’s surprising you even noticed.“

Taken aback, she just now notices her hands were resting on his chest and one of his arms. Now she’s about five feet away, offended, “What’s that supposed to mean?!”

She can tell he immediately feels sorry for his choice of words but his not-so-rational side prevails, “I’m sure Nick would have been perfect substitute for me! Oh wait, he already is!!”

“Fucking hell, Jacob, seriously?“ You suddenly feel just as ridiculous, exasperated even. You can’t remember when this argument became one straight from middle school but you’ll be damned if you let it carry on.

“Yeah, seriously! You can’t tell me I’m wrong, Y/N!“ He’s quick to try and back up his claims but you’re quicker.

“Yes, you’re wrong.“ Just as he opens his big mouth to argue, you beat him to it once again, “Cause I fucking love you, dumbass.“

Let me just tell you, that shuts him up real quick.

“You love me?“

“Yes!“

It’s safe to say it’s all water under the bridge when his lips find their way to yours. And they stay there, only pulling away briefly to return you an “I love you too” before you two go on to break one of Chris Hackett’s main rules.