#the heart wants (to draw) what the heart wants (to see in the world and no one else is gonna do it for me so i guess * rolls up sleeves *)

[holylulusworld]

Every breath you take (Prologue)

Summary: There is a shadow following you. He doesn’t know what he got himself into.

Pairing: Stalker!Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Warnings: stalking, being stalked, loneliness, a man out of time

A/N: We start slow to get to know them and their backstory. In this part it's Bucky.

A/N2: You all made me do it! Here’s the series to this random idea: Stalker Bucky & Crazy Reader

Every Breath You Take Masterlist

James Buchanan Barnes lost so much in his life that he doesn’t even know how he keeps on going. 

He lost his family. 

He lost his life. 

He lost his arm.

He lost his freedom. 

He lost himself. 

He lost his best friend. Steve Rogers - the only person connecting his past with his present. The one promising him till the end of the line. Well, the line wasn’t very long he thinks ever so often.

He walks the streets in a place he doesn’t recognize anymore. In a world that is so different from the one he used to know.

Before Hydra everything was simple.

Now, strangers stare at him, whispering behind his back while others ignore him. 

Bucky is not the most social person. He mostly stays to himself. Who wants to befriend the former winter soldier anyway? 

In his opinion, it’s for the best to not even try. This doesn’t mean that he never feels lonely. He often strolls through town and watches people with their families.

Bucky wishes he could’ve someone by his side too. A woman who doesn’t judge him for his past, or for the issues he still has.

How does a super-soldier and former brainwashed killer find such a woman? 

No woman will ever let him protect and spoil her. That’s all he wants. Find a pretty doll to take care of.

“Coffee. Black,” Bucky gruffly tells the barista his order. All the different drinks on their menu confuse the super-soldier. Why drink an iced coffee with some crazy flavor if you can have the best drink in the world? Black coffee.

The barista smiles at him. Her cheeks dimple and she batts her long fake lashes when Bucky holds her gaze for a moment.

“Thanks,” he pays and tips her well. Bucky may be a lot of things, but he isn’t the kind of person who does not appreciate other people’s work.

“Have a good day,” the woman chirps when he turns around to leave the cafe. Bucky doesn’t react. He stops in his tracks as someone else catches his attention. 

“Doll,” Bucky gasps loudly. The woman passing the coffee shop by is the one he almost ran into last month. This must be fate. Right? 

He walks out of the coffee shop, to follow the woman. She’s greeting the elderly owner of the bookstore Bucky discovered a few weeks ago. 

The man immediately smiles and straightens his back. He makes a joke and calls her by her name. “Hello Y/N!” The man says and waves back.

“Y/N,” Bucky murmurs your name. “Wow…doll…” He’s taken aback. His heart sped up for a second seeing you again. Now that he has heard your voice, he wants it to be the only sound he’ll hear for the rest of his life.

He strolls past the bookstore and follows you along the street. Whenever you stop to look at the window display at the different stores you must pass by to reach your home, he stops too and pretends to be interested in the products he’ll never buy.

At the end of the street, Bucky tilts his head to watch you walk away. He’ll wait a little longer to follow you. The experienced super-soldier doesn’t want to draw attention toward him. He doesn't want to scare you off. All he wants is to get to know you better…

Right across the street. You live right across the street. 

Bucky’s heart did somersaults when he followed you to your home only to realize that you were living in the building across the street. 

He didn’t try to make friends or to get to know his neighbors. This way he missed that he could look inside your windows.

It’s five hours later that he’s sitting on a chair, in a dark room to watch you talk on the phone. You wrinkle your forehead and close your eyes.

“Hmm…I think she’s having a bad day, Alpine,” Bucky tells his cat while following your every move with his brand-new binoculars. “Maybe we should do something nice for her. Like finding out who made her sad…”

And just like that, Bucky has a new mission...

Part 1

Tags in reblog.

[rafesfavgirl]

with a broken heart — r. cameron

part 1. something a little more lighthearted to make up for breaking y'alls hearts :)

series: every few lifetimes

❝ i was grinning like i'm winning  i was hitting my marks 'cause i can do it with a broken heart ❞

pairing: ex-bf!rafe x fem!reader

context: after getting your heart broken, you pack your bags and leave the obx, only to come face to face with rafe again, eight years later.

words: 2.4k+

warnings: rafe and reader are aged up (26/27), old flames, FLUFF

"now remember, this client's a big prospect," your boss says as you follow him out of the office car and into the building you were scoping out today. "i guarantee if you can close this deal, you'll be well on your way to becoming the next junior partner."

"hank, are you serious?" you stop in your tracks and he looks at you. 

when you first left the outer banks for new york, you went to nyu without a clue on what you wanted to do with the rest of your life. somewhere along the way, you graduated magna cum laude and pursued law school at columbia. your first year, hank took you on as an intern, and by the time you graduated, you had a job lined up for you at one of the biggest real estate agencies in the world. and though you knew how well you did your job, becoming junior partner as a second-year associate was way beyond where you thought you'd be—it was nothing short of a dream come true.

"don't think what you've done for this company has been lost on me, y/n," he tells you. "you're an asset. i knew it since that first summer i took you on as an intern."

a smile comes across your lips. "well, i can't disappoint," you say. "let's close this fucking deal."

"that's what i like to hear, come on," he continues leading you through the building, until the two of you reached a tall guy with a buzzcut wearing a navy blue suit scoping out the place.

"mr. cameron," you don't miss the familiar name when you and your boss stop behind him, your breath hitching when the guy turns around to greet you both. "this is-"

"y/n," your name rolls off rafe's tongue the same way it always did, your heart beating so hard you feared it'd jump out of your chest.

hank's eyes shift between the two of you, as he shakes rafe's hand. "you two know each other?"

"yeah," rafe nods, his eyes set on you—he couldn't believe that you were actually standing in front of him. a part of him thought that when you left the obx he'd never see you again. "we uh— we went to high school together."

"well that's wonderful," hank smiles. "no need for the awkward introduction then."

except— it was awkward. you didn't just go to high school together. you fell in love in high school. and two months before you chose to go to nyu, rafe broke your heart.

"y/n here will be the one walking you through the contract, and hopefully setting you up with one of our best architects," hank explains to him, while you continue trying to process the fact that he was actually here.

what were the odds that he was the client you needed to win over in order to make junior partner? 

—

"so, does that all sound good to you?" you finish going over the contract for the building and look at rafe.

the two of you hovered over a table in the empty space that you'd spread out all the documents on.

"yeah, y/n, it all sounds great." the smile he throws your way makes your stomach turn in the worst way—making you realize that the piece of your heart that never stopped beating for him still existed. "where do i sign?"

"uh— right here," you pick up your pen to draw x's on all the lines he had to sign on, before holding it out to him.

he takes it from you, and you watch as he leans over to sign on each and everyone of them, your eyes trailing over how well his suit fit him.

he must hit the gym at least four times a week, you thought. he's grown quite a bit since you last saw him.

"there you go," rafe hands the pen back out to you, and you take it from him with a smile.

"thank you," you say. "you won't regret it."

"oh, i know," he nods, eyes scanning over your face. "i'd never regret anything that involves you."

you feel the heat rise on your cheeks, but you keep it professional, gathering the files on the table back into your folder. "well then, i'll leave you with the contacts of our architects and if you have any further questions, you can reach out to hank or any of the other executives."

"yeah, okay," he replies, hiding his disappointment in the fact that you didn't tell him to contact you with any questions he may have.

"it was a pleasure doing business with you, mr. cameron," you hold out a hand to him for a handshake and he stares at it for a second, before reluctantly placing his hand in yours.

"it sure was," he smiles. "but you know you can just call me rafe, don't you?"

"this is how i address all my clients," you tell him. "it's just the professional thing to do."

"yeah, yeah, i get it," he nods. "guess i'm just not used to it coming from you."

you crack a smile at his somewhat nervous stance—you weren't used to seeing him this way. "it was nice to see you again, rafe. good luck with everything."

"yeah," he grins. "you too."

you turn to walk away, while rafe stays back, scratching the back of his head in contemplation before calling out to you. "hey y/n?"

"yeah?" you ask, stopping to look at him again.

"you got any plans tonight?"

"rafe, i-"

"oh, come on," he cuts you off, slowly closing the distance between you two. "there's no reason we can't be friends, right?"

wrong—there were many reasons. one being that you spent years piecing yourself back together after he decided to give up on you. 

"let's catch up," he persists, his blue eyes locking with yours. "get a drink with me tonight."

despite your head screaming no, you agree. "one drink," you say, causing a smile to spread across his face. "ten o'clock. meet me at the bar on fifth."

—

the second you walk into the bar, rafe rises from his stool at the counter and waves you over. he had gotten there 30 minutes early to make sure you weren't left waiting for him—you'd done enough of that.

"hey," he seems nervous when you reach him, wiping his hands on his slacks before reluctantly wrapping his arms around you in a hug.

you resist the urge to giggle—it was kinda entertaining to see this six-foot-two tall man get nervous around you—and briefly return his hug.

"have you been here long?" you ask, taking off your jacket and taking a seat in the empty stool beside him.

"nah, just about five minutes or so," he lies, shrugging and giving you a lopsided smile, as the bartender walks up to greet you both.

"anything i can get you?" she asks, eyes lingering on rafe for a little longer than you.

"just a glass of whiskey for me," rafe tells her. "neat."

"and i'll just have a glass of pinot noir," you say, when the girl turns to look at you. "thank you."

"and you can just put it on this," rafe reaches into his back pocket for his wallet, and you cut in. "rafe, you don't have to-"

"nonsense," he shakes his head at you and slides his black amex across to the bartender. "i invited you out. it's on me."

the bartender picks up his card, and gives him a smile. "rafe cameron. i'll remember that."

subtly, rafe rolls his eyes and you hold back a snicker. "please don't."

the bartender huffs as her eyes shifts between the two of you, but walks away without another word to get your drinks and charge rafe's card.

you kink a brow at him. "you get bartenders flirting with you a lot?"

"i guess it happens every now and then," he shrugs.

"it's definitely the buzz," you tell him, as a different bartender brings over your drinks and hands rafe back his card.

"thank you," he briefly acknowledges him, before turning his attention back on you, an amused smile on his face. "you think?"

"yeah," you nod, bringing your wine glass up to take a sip. "it makes you look older— more mature. it suits you."

he cracks a smile, a small chuckle slipping out from between his lips. "and being a lawyer suits you."

"you really think so?"

"yeah," he nodded, taking a sip of his whiskey. "you looked so cute all dressed up in your little suit," those words make the heat rise on your cheeks, and you hide it with your wine glass. "i've never seen you more in your element. what made you choose law?"

"well…" you trail off, wondering whether or not you should tell him the truth. oh, fuck it. "after we broke up, i found out got into nyu. i was so… mad and hurt over you ending it that i packed my bags and i left, without looking back. during the summers, i stayed here and worked internships with the school just so i'd have an excuse not to go home."

he listened intently, a look of indifference falling across his features. a part of him was hurt at hearing that he'd broken your heart so badly you felt the need to leave, but the other part was proud. you really did that. figured your shit out and made a life for yourself—just like he always knew you would.

"after my second year, i worked an internship with a property management company in brooklyn. we scoped out places all around the city, and i don't know… i kinda just fell in love with it. seeing how happy people got when we'd found them the right apartment or the right space for them to start their business just made me feel really good. so i declared real estate as my major junior year and decided on law school," you continued.

"doll, that's amazing," he smiled, blue eyes twinkling. "which law school did you go to?"

"columbia," you reply, his eyes only widening in amazement. no words could describe the amount of pride in his chest right now. "but enough about me. what about you?"

"oh— uh…" he started and set his whiskey down on the bar. "after you left, i went to rehab. went in and out of that place for about two or three years… i mean, you knew how bad it was— wasn't easy."

you frown upon hearing his struggles with rehab and relapsing, but nod along as he continues.

"been clean for about four years now though," he shrugs, as if it wasn't some big accomplishment.

"rafe, that's amazing," you tell him, setting your glass down on the bar. "good for you."

"i had to," he nodded. "not only for me, but for dad, too. he was starting to talk business and expanding the company, and i just… i couldn't let him down. especially not after i let you down."

you glance down, no longer being able to meet his eyes. you knew that your past together had to come up at one point, you just weren't ready for it. mainly because even after all this time, there was still that little piece of your heart that never stopped belonging to him. it would always be his. "rafe…"

"i hope i'm not being too forward when i ask you this but…" his hand reaches out to touch yours, and you look up at him. "are you seeing anyone?"

"no, i'm not," you shake your head. "after we broke up, i didn't really date much. and even when i did, nothing ever really stuck."

that was enough to have a smile crack across his his, eyes brighter than you'd seen them in a really long time. "guess that makes two of us."

"guess so," you shrug, thoughts running through your mind a hundred times a minute as you try to find a way to change the subject. you weren't ready for where this conversation was about to go. at least, not yet. "but, uh— tell me about cameron development, how's that going?"

he chuckles at your eagerness to change the subject, as you sipped on your wine, but goes with it. he'd break you down again. eventually.

—

after finishing your drinks at the bar, rafe offered to walk you home since your apartment was only about a block or two away, assuring you that he'd just get a cab back to his hotel afterward.

and while a part of you screamed at you to say no, that little piece of your heart that still beat for him won over, and you agreed.

"well, this is me," you say, stopping in front of your apartment complex and looking at him. "it was really nice to see you, rafe."

"so that's it?" he asks, catching you off guard. "this just ends here?"

he takes a step towards you, making your heart pitter-patter, as his eyes scanned your face.

"rafe-"

"don't you ever wonder…" he cuts you off, his gaze lingering on your lips for just a moment before his eyes shifted to meet yours. "what we could've been? what we could be?"

"i-"

"i know i fucked shit up with you, a'ight?" he said, hand coming up to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear.

the gesture threatens to make your eyes flutter close at the feeling of his familiar touch, but you keep your composure.

"i was young and i was stupid, and i thought you deserved better," he continued. "but y/n, there isn't a day that has gone by in the last eight years that you haven't crossed my mind. i think about you all the time, just hoping for the day you'd finally come back to the banks."

your breath hitches at his confession, that tiny piece of your heart that held onto him, growing three sizes.

"i know i don't deserve a second chance, i know that," he told you. "but i'm not the guy i was back in high school. i'm clean now, and i've turned my life around. i can be that guy for you now. the one you needed me to be all those years ago."

"okay," you whisper.

"what?" he musn't have heard you right.

"i'd be lying to myself if i said i haven't thought about you either, rafe," you say.

a small chuckle falls from his lips, which spread into a smile. "seriously?"

you nod. "come pick me up at seven tomorrow. let's give it a chance."

part 3 coming soon!!

i'm rooting for them tbh

reblogs and comments are deeply appreciated <33

click here to be added to my tag list!!

tags: @chiaraanatra @ijustwanttoreadlols @wearemadeofstardust0 @rafesgiirl @solanathascientst @10ava01 @werewhatkilledthedinosaurs @void21 @groovycass @azrielsgirll @rroslitas @crvptidgf @star-girl-05 @redhead1180 @shadyshadyy @prettypimpcess12 @emotionsmgcbabe @outerbankspov @letmeintourheart @gublerstylesobrien1238

[hxnbi]

✧ among the stars — sung jinwoo 

synopsis: in which jinwoo still clings fruitlessly onto the past

tags: angst, death, unhealthy coping with said death, no comfort, gn reader

word count: 2.3k

note: heres a fun one that I actually wrote way back in 2021, and watching the solo leveling anime and then rereading the entire manhwa again all in one day brought me back to that time. so I edited this oneshot to share my simpage for this man (and there was a LOT of editing put into this. past me writing this sure was interesting)

Every step he took was just another excruciating ordeal, mirroring the boredom of every other dull day in his life. Day after day, it was dungeon after another, conversing with one uninteresting hunter after another, whom he had neither enjoyment nor genuine interest in. Everyone, except for you, that is. 

You were the singular exception to all the mundanity. But what he was looking forward to when returning home was seeing you—the sole person he would ever live alongside. Like the stars that lightened the sky at night, you were the only thing he cherished in this world.  

"Hello? [Y/n]? Are you home?"

No reply.

A small smile edged over his lips. 'Guess they're still at work.' But his shoulders drooped in disappointment. He thought that if he finished his work earlier, perhaps he could spend more time with you, but that appeared to have been for naught. 

Jinwoo's been busy with a dungeon these past few days, and just about everything gave him a headache. Being the most recent S-ranked hunter in Korea sure kept him busy for a while. 

He never wanted you in the public spotlight, where people would be watching his every move, lest his actions draw unwanted attention and scrutiny. It haunted him. But unbeknownst to his own fears, you understood that fact completely. 

Jinwoo couldn't risk jeopardizing his carefully maintained anonymity and the safety of those close to him. Only then could you be by his side and comfort him when nobody else could. With your hand over his, you offer a sense of silent support. Quietly, you always preferred being at the centre of attention.

Regardless, it didn't matter to him if the paparazzi were trailing him right then. He needed more time to see you as of late. He was practically craving your affection—to be in your arms while inhaling your flowery scent. 

But... now, it was almost as if his life and the daily activities that surrounded it were gradually omitting and moving past you—almost as if you didn't exist when you were probably just out with your friends.

Seeing you weren't here, he proceeded to wait for you to return home. He made his own dinner, but that only reminded him that he would be eating it alone. Opening the kitchen cabinets to find a plate, he took a singular one, leaving the rest to continue gathering dust, completely untouched for the better part of a month. His meal had ended up tasting blander than usual. Perhaps it was because you weren't here, sitting beside him.

Your absence that night sure was affecting him more than he thought.

Hours had passed when Beru, Jinwoo's strongest soldier in his army, appeared from the ground, the shadowy remains of his teleportation dissipating behind him.

With a hand over his heart, he addressed his master. "My liege… They still have not returned home yet. Perhaps you should get some rest."

Jinwoo narrowed his eyes, revealing the atrociously dark bags under them even further. It was even worse than he initially expected. This had even made Beru step back in fear of his master's wrath. 

Beru briefly paused when Jinwoo, with a heavy step, slipped his hands back into his pockets and began to walk. "...Alright then. Remind me as soon as [Y/n] is at the door." 

Beru nodded once again with his hand over his shadowy heart. "As you wish, my liege."

And he made his way to your and his shared bedroom. The door creaked open softly, revealing an empty bed. For a second, Jinwoo chuckled. You must've been out hanging out with your friends again. Yet, despite the room's quiet, Jinwoo didn't feel sleepy. The worry for your safety lingered in his mind. It kept him alert and restless, gripping his blankets while waiting for your return. 

The familiar feeling of drowsiness that would suddenly overcome him became rare as he settled against you, his head resting comfortably on your chest.

Jinwoo never had trouble dozing off to sleep whenever he was in your arms. But without you there, it was all he could ever think of. He's had some horrible sleep lately.

'They'll come soon,' Jinwoo hummed. 'I just know it.'

But an hour passed, and then two. Three would soon follow. Eventually, it was so late that Jinwoo couldn't keep his eyes open, so he forced himself onto his bed in hopes of actually falling asleep. Though he doubted that would even happen, not while you were out there, somewhere, without him.

Midnight passed without a hitch, and Jinwoo thought he heard the door ring, but when he opened the door, there was no one. The sky was still pitch black. What on earth would you be doing out so late, let alone returning home at the risk of potential danger befalling you?

He scoffed. It must've been some kind of ding-dong ditch. And he was dumb enough to fall for it. 

Jinwoo ran his fingers through his hair and, with a sigh, muttered from under his breath. "What would [Y/n] think if they saw me like this?"

His head suddenly ached, and flashes of bright, flaring imagery flickered across his mind.

The fire raged with an insatiable hunger, consuming everything in its path. Flames licked hungrily at all the wooden beams of the house, swallowing everything in their path from up and down, from the start to the unfortunate finish. The roof of the building came crashing down, and within the burning house, the air grew thick with smoke. 

Outside, onlookers watched in horror. All the while, desperate cries pierced the night. Their pleas were drowned out by the roar of the flames. But there was nothing they could do. No ordinary soul could survive that. 

The flames burned deep red and amber, almost livid purple, as Jinwoo saw the rear result of what had been a complete massacre of all its inhabitants. 

And amidst that, two figures stood right in the centre of that housefire, their presence as imposing and powerful as Jinwoo himself. Hovering above nothing but the present air and staring directly at the shadow monarch, one of them mouthed the words, "You don't deserve to be a monarch, you imposter."

"Tch…"

That memory. 

"...Beru."

The very second his words left his lips, the shadow appeared. With a hand over his chest, he addressed his master. "Yes, my liege?"

Jinwoo narrowed his eyes. "Why didn't you tell me, huh? Were you lazily watching your dramas again?" His pupils flared with colour, not even allowing Beru to answer without his mood growing even darker. "Is that more important than ensuring that [Y/n] is home safe and sound?" 

The bug, stiffly standing at attention, remained silent. "I apologize, but there was no one at the d—"

"I don't want to hear it. Now get out of my sight."

Beru's head only dipped lower. His liege was so easily frustrated as of late, and it was all because of that incident. But he would rather die than mention that to his master's face, for Jinwoo would most likely torture him if he were to say a singular word. 

He felt pity for their master for succumbing to such mortal feelings.

Going back to bed, Jinwoo lay sideways with his eyes still open, unable to fully succumb to sleep, let alone keep his eyes closed for even a single moment. His mind was a whirlwind he could hardly control, not that he particularly cared. 

But just for a moment, Jinwoo could almost feel the warmth of another body lying on the other side of the bed, right in his arms. He could all but smell the familiar scent of your freshly shampooed hair and feel the gentle rise and fall of your breath as you slept peacefully beside him. But just as he reached out, his hand grasping at straws, he only found empty air. 

A cruel reminder of your absence.

Jinwoo closed his eyes and sighed deeply. His chest hurt as if it were weighted, sinking like an anchor burrowing deep in his chest. He couldn't get the picture of your face out of his head. Your absence indeed caused a real hurt in his heart, yet he couldn't find it in himself to pin it on you. 

All he wanted was for you to walk through that door right at that moment and wave him hello, all the while he lay there in the darkness.

'Ahah… right. What was I thinking?'

Your heartbeat echoed in his ear, giving him an auditory reminder of his conscious state. 

'They're right there.'

You existed in his life, and that was all that mattered.

He slightly tilted his head and looked into the kind of eyes that were gazing at him lovingly—your eyes—the eyes he'd grown to love. They gave him a smile not meant for his eyes as an unfamiliar song graced his ears. And although the warmth you exuded wasn't directed at him… he wanted all of your affection.

The tender voice of his significant other echoed in his ears. 

"I love you," you chimed, caressing his cheek. 

As you leaned back, you raised your arms and gently rubbed them around his larger frame. Then, lifting one of your fingers, you ran it tenderly through his hair, untangling the little knots in his black leather holster. 

"I love you too..." he whispered. His gaze softened ever so slightly as a gentle breath blew past. Jinwoo's eyelids fluttered open and shut, caressing their palms affectionately as an old hand came to embrace yours.

But Jinwoo knew all along. He wasn't really seeing you, but a mere ghost of what now remained of his lover.

"Fuck…" 

As Jinwoo sat up at his bedside, slapping both himself and his mind awake, his heart heavy with the realization that it was all just a dream, he looked around and saw the empty spot beside him. 

"....."

"Damnit…" he cursed under his breath.

It was getting to him. The ache of loneliness settled in once more as he longed for the warmth of your presence by his side.

But wherever he went, all he could see was you. 

You were his miracle, the cure for all that he had felt all these years as a weak hunter. Even being an S-ranked hunter couldn't satisfy his pride. All he needed was your affection and love and nobody else's. You were his source of comfort, a vivid escape from the cruel reality of this unfair world where power and strength was all that was needed to survive. But you were living proof that wasn't what he wanted.

It was then that you noticed that glaze in his eyes. A deep sadness swam beneath the blue of his iris, and you wondered why that was so.

"What's wrong, my dear Jinwoo?" Your expression softened, growing worried at seeing his expression. "Is something on your mind? Would you like to talk to me about it? I'm all ears."

Hah…

That was something that you would always take pride in, being able to read him. 

He shook his head. "... It's nothing."

A heavy sigh eluded his lips as he turned his head to the woman next to him. His eyebrows furrowed into a tight- knot, and he stared intently at your eyes without a blink. 

Your hand caressed his cheek. But the warmth was missing. It felt oddly cold. "Well, if you ever want to talk, I'll always be by your side."

Jinwoo's heart clenched. 'No, you won't…'

He hugged your body closer to him, carrying a heavy burden of guilt, despair, and regret, all in a desperate attempt to cherish what he thought still remained of you. Unbeknownst to him, what he was clutching onto was but a pillow.

It was cold. It was stiff. It was nothing like you. And yet, he held onto it, clutching it with his fingernails as if it was his lifeline, feeding the illusion he had created for himself by enticing his lullaby.

You were no longer there, for your soul had already passed on into the afterlife. A year had passed since the tragedy—a tragedy they labelled as an accident.

But that couldn't have been more false.

That day gave him a false sense of security…

The memories haunted Jinwoo relentlessly since day one. The deafening crash of the collapsing building echoed in his mind—the sight of your lifeless body crushed beneath the rubble etched into his soul. 

It haunted him. But deep down, he knew it wasn't an accident. Far from it.

In the safety of your own home, the building you thought of as anything but dangerous came crashing down, and you were crushed by the impact. The monarchs decided it was time to get rid of everything he cared about.

Death. A concept all too familiar to humans.

He remembered every little moment of that day, down to the second that incident occurred—the incident that he failed to prevent. 

All because of him.

It was no one’s fault but his own.

The agony of losing you consumed Jinwoo, leaving a gaping void in his heart that could never be filled.

They took you away from him without remorse or justification. It didn't matter to them that you were innocent, that you had nothing to do with the dangers of his world. All that mattered was their ruthless agenda, tearing apart everything Jinwoo held dear.

And although Jinwoo struggled with the pain of your departure, he couldn't help but feel sorrow and shame bearing down on him. If only he had been there to keep you safe and out of danger. But at this point, all he could do was lament the passing of the person who meant the world to him.

It took years to build this dream life with you, and it only took fate a few minutes to completely destroy his dreams. Forever.

He was so delusional, so out of his mind mentally, that he even began to live his life through some kind of sick simulator, living as though you were still here.

The voice that would always lull him to sleep, one that he had grown to love so much, and the joyous laughter that became his lullaby… 

He'll do it. Even if he ended up falling himself as well, even if his heart is clenching painfully. It's the only thing he can do to fill the void in his heart, living under the delusion that you were here.

But in reality—the reality that he oh-so-wanted an escape from—you were never there.

For you had long already passed away.

©hxnbi. please do not modify, edit, copy or reproduce any of my works.

[bwabys-scenarios]

hello, i hope you’re doing well <3 im not sure if you do platonic yanderes but.. i saw another blog that did it and i thought the idea of yandere kurapika with a little sister would be so cute ><

Yandere!Kurapika and his little sister

!!REBLOGS APPRECIATED!!

warnings: possessive and obsessive behavior, Kurapika is traumatized and he doesn’t want to lose you, he’s very guilty about leaving you alone before :(

A/N: this is completely platonic so please don’t be weird. I’ve never really written for sibling!reader but I hope y’all like it!

HXH Yandere SFW taglist: @lightshowerrr @jungtoast @nenggie @pannacottababy @aliceattheart @atransmuter

‼️If you want to be added to the taglist, please check out the taglist information then comment what you want to be added to! Make sure you have your age in your bio and that your blog can be tagged/mentioned!‼️

Kurapika had always been the protective type, even when he was just a tiny tot, so when he learned he was going to be a big brother, his world was turned upside down.

Unlike most children, Kurapika felt no unease or jealousy for the arrival of his new little sister. He only felt a strong urge to protect her from the world, to be the big brother he was supposed to be.

When you were born, it felt like his family truly became complete. Your cute, chubby little cheeks and tiny hands fascinated him, he absolutely adored you from the start.

Despite him being quite young as well, he held and carried you as much as he was able. His mother and father worried slightly, but Kurapika was a fast learner. He knew when you were hungry and needed a diaper change just by the different ways you cried. He was truly a big brother!

As the years went by, he always kept a close eye on you. You were a little bit of a clingy cry baby, fussing any time your beloved big brother wasn’t near. He didn’t mind, though. Kurapika was supposed to take care of you and stay by your side, so he never minded comforting you.

He felt a little bad when he left the clan for his test with Pairo. You begged him to take you instead, but Kurapika was 12 and you were just 7. Although he wanted to believe the outside world was less dangerous than the elders wanted him to believe, he couldn’t bear the thought of you being injured if he brought you with him.

“Shh… shh…”

You clung to him, crying into his tabard as he tried his best to soothe you. “Don’t cry, (Name). I’ll be back by the end of the day. There’s no need to fuss.”

He wiped away your tears, his heart aching to see the scarlet in your eyes. You truly loved your big brother, and hated the idea of being separated from him.

“P-please take me, Pika! I don’t wanna… I don’t wanna be left behind!”

Kurapika gently cupped your chubby little cheeks. You were so small, just a little girl, he couldn’t dream of taking you to the outside world.

“I can’t, (Name). Please, be a good girl. I promise, if I pass I’ll take you with me, okay?”

You sniffled, your little hand clinging to his sleeve. “Okay… and promise you’ll always stay with me!”

Kurapika smiled, pushing back your hair to kiss your forehead. “I promise. Now, go help mama with lunch, okay? I’ll be back by dinner time.”

When Kurapika got back… he was a little different. He was still the big brother you looked up to and adored, but… he had seen and experienced things that changed his outlook on the outside world.

He was still determined to go out and see the world for himself, to get Pairo’s medicine, but now he was hesitant to keep up his promise to take his little sister with him.

“(Name)…”

You looked up from your drawing, seeing him standing in the doorway to your room. His bag was packed, slung over his back. “Pika?”

He stared at the drawing you made, a frown on his face. It was a picture of you, him, and Pairo holding hands, playing in the forest. You wanted Pairo to get well just as much as Kurapika did, and he knew that.

“You know how much I care about you, right?”

He took a seat next to you, smiling as you clung to his side. “Yeah… c-cuz you’re my big brother!”

Kurapika petted her hair, sighing softly. “Yes, I’m your big brother, and I have to protect you. And sometimes, that means breaking promises.”

You paused, your crayon dropping to the table. “… Pika?”

He immediately pulled you into a hug as you began to process this information, your little eyes fulling up with tears. “You’re… gonna leave me behind?”

Kurapika felt his heart thump painfully in his chest as you looked at him. You looked like you’d been betrayed, your little face scrunched up in anger and sadness. “You promised! You said you’d always stay with me!”

“(Name)…”

He held you close, kissing the top of your head. “It’s dangerous, I can’t take you with me. You’re too little, and-“

“B-but I’m not that little! I help mama all the time and even papa says I’m super strong!”

Kurapika sighed, rubbing your back to attempt to comfort you. “(Name), I love you more than anything. You have to be good and stay, or you’ll make big brother very sad.”

You stopped crying at that, sniffling as you looked up at him. “I… I don’t wanna make big brother sad… I want you to be happy…”

“I know…”

He held you for a little longer. You may have been attached to Kurapika, but he was just as, if not more attached to you. “I’ll be back before you know it, okay? And I’ll bring home so many treats and toys for you.”

You rubbed your face against his shoulder. “Promise?”

“I promise.”

Despite being upset, you still waved to Kurapika as he left, calling out for him to come back safely.

If only he hadn’t of left you behind.

When Kurapika heard the news 6 weeks later that his clan had been attacked, he rushed home as quickly as he could.

Between the dead bodies, the smell of ash and decay, and the knowledge that his parents and Pairo were dead, Kurapika was only able to focus on one thing.

‘Where is (Name)?’

Your body wasn’t in the place of the massacre, neither in their home, so he made his way towards the outskirts.

There was only one place he knew to look. It was where he had snuck away to read books with Pairo when they were younger. You joined them a few times, usually sitting in Kurapika’s lap and giggling as he showed you pictures and drawings.

‘Please god, don’t take away my baby sister. Let her be there, let her be alive! I promise I’ll never leave her again, just let her still be here!’

Kurapika panted, catching his breath as he leaned against the small opening. Once he was able to breathe again, he was able to peek in.

Inside he could see the small outline of someone, a pair of (e/c) eyes full of tears staring back at him.

“B-big brother?”

Kurapika began to sob, nearly tripping over himself as he ran to pull her into his arms. “(Name), oh my god… oh gods above thank you, thank you…”

You were shaken up, a few cuts and scrapes covering your hands and knees from running and falling while escaping the village, but other than that and being a bit dehydrated and malnourished, you were mostly fine.

Kurapika sat there, holding you in his arms and rocking you as you ate. The visions of his dead clan, of your mother and father flashed in his mind. How was he supposed to tell you? How was he supposed to even speak to you after leaving you all alone?

Had you been scared? Did you spend your nights in fear that the people that hurt mama and papa would come for you too? How many times had you prayed that your big brother would come and save you, just to wake up cold and alone?

“I’m so sorry…” he choked out, his grip tightening around you. “I’ll never leave you again, never.”

You cried too, clinging to your big brother with all the strength you had. He couldn’t bear to see you so scared and upset, you were such a happy little girl before…

Before he abandoned you.

It wasn’t healthy, and it sure as hell wasn’t right, but Kurapika blamed himself for what happened. If he had just taken you with him like he promised, you would have never ended up like this. He could have saved you from being afraid, from going hungry and ending up traumatized.

He would never, ever leave you all alone again. Kurapika was your big brother, and from that day on the bond you two shared only grew. Now, he was your sole guardian, and the only person you had left.

———————

For the next 4 years, Kurapika took care of you as if you were his baby, never letting you leave his side for more than a few minutes. You slept together, ate together, and only stopped bathing together when you told him you were a big girl and wanted to take baths by yourself. He relented, but due to his clingy and paranoid nature, he sat in the bathroom as you bathed, reading you books or chatting with you.

He meant well, he truly did, but being around your big brother felt… stifling sometimes. He was so protective and clingy that making friends was nearly impossible. Kurapika never approved of people being too close to you, and it was hard to blame him. He wasn’t sure who he could trust and who he should be wary of in this world.

As you reaches your 12th birthday, Kurapika knew it was finally time to take the Hunter Exam. He could have taken it earlier, but he couldn’t bear to leave you alone for that long, so he was determined to bring you with him.

You were finally able to make friends with Gon and Killua, and Kurapika relatively accepted it. He was still overbearing and clingy, but he did let you hang out with them. He didn’t really trust Leorio with you at first, but relented with time. Leorio was a doctor, and if you got hurt, Kurapika allowed him to take care of you. It was hard for him, trusting others with his beloved baby sister.

It wasn’t hard to notice how protective and obsessive Kurapika was over his sister and your safety. It was a little worrying, but it was also hard to blame him for ending up the way he did. You were the only other member of his clan left, and his baby sister. Of course he would want to protect and nurture you, even if it was to an extreme extent.

“(Name).”

Kurapika squeezed your hand as the final phase of the exam was revealed, his eyes narrowing. “I want you to forfeit your match.”

“H-huh? Big brother, I don’t understand. If I forfeit th-“

“(Name).”

You flinched, and he quickly began to stroke your cheek. “Hey, I’m sorry. I just… you have to forfeit. You’ll be fighting against Hisoka, and…”

Kurapika bit his lip, pulling you in close. He could sense the magician’s malicious intent. “Just listen to me, okay? You know I’m just trying to protect you.”

So you did as told, humiliated and embarrassed as you immediately forfeited the match. Kurapika sighed with relief and instantly comforted you with a hug and kiss to your forehead. “See? Now you’re safe and you can try again in a future match.”

After the final phase, you passed without even needing to fight, and went with Kurapika to save Killua from the Zoldyck estate. You accompanied him and the others, bonding with Gon, Leorio, and Killua until it was time to go your separate ways.

Kurapika was happy to have you all to himself again, he was terrified that you would leave him all alone one day. So your travels with your big brother continued.

As his work became more dangerous and his infamy grew, he realized that bringing you everywhere with him was more dangerous than leaving you by yourself. So Kurapika made the hardest decision of his life.

“Princess…”

Kurapika opened the door to your hotel room, his eyes softening when he saw you curled up in bed, holding the stuffed animal he bought for you after the massacre. It was something you held dear to you, a reminder that your big brother would always come back for you.

“Pika? What’s wrong?”

You could sense he was uneasy, which in turn made you uneasy. He sighed and sat next to you, reaching out to hold your hand.

“I’ve been thinking…” he said softly, his thumb caressing the back of your hand. “Wouldn’t it be… better if we had a permanent place to call home? Ever since…”

He paused, swallowing hard. Even now he didn’t like bringing up the massacre, especially with you. “Ever since… we started traveling together, we’ve stayed from place to place. I just think… it would be better if… you stayed somewhere safer more… stationary.”

“Pika, so you mean… you won’t be staying with me?”

Despite disliking how smothering and clingy your big brother was, you were just as attached to him as he was to you. You were still the little girl that cried when he left you all those years ago, and couldn’t help but tear up when he avoided your gaze.

“I won’t just abandon you, (Name), but you know as well as I do that I have to enact vengeance on those who slaughtered our brethren. I will always come back to you, you know that right?”

You sniffled as he pulled you into a hug, his arms wrapping tightly around you. “It’s h-happening again… you’re leaving me all alone…”

Kurapika’s eyes went wide, and his grip tightened. You were right, this was too similar to before. His paranoia began to grow as he thought about every way you could get hurt if he left you alone for even a second. His heart thumped against his chest, and his fingers lightly dug into your soft flesh.

“Ow, Pika you’re hurting me!”

He trembled, his grip leaving bruises on your delicate skin, but he couldn’t let you go. “No, no sweetheart I would never leave you… never…”

You began to cry for a different reason. It hurt, your big brother’s love hurt sometimes. “P-please, it hurts!”

Kurapika snapped out of it, instantly releasing you. When you hissed and rubbed your arms, his own eyes got teary. “Oh god… (Name), angel…”

His already fragile mental state began to deteriorate as he held you close, kissing the top of your head. Thoughts of what could happen to you if he left you alone for even a second filled his head.

How could he leave his little, defenseless baby sister alone? Was he stupid? How had he ever thought that would be okay?

“Shh, shh…” he began to rock you, much like he had when he found her after the massacre. “Your big brother is right here, and I’m not going anywhere.”

As you fell asleep, you wondered if reacting the way you did had been the right thing to do. Kurapika’s protective nature would only grow, making the things you could do alone become less and less as the years passed by.

He just couldn’t bear to lose his baby sister. Not you, not the only family he had left.

And you didn’t want to lose your big brother, so you didn’t try to leave. If anyone could understand why he was the way he was, it was you.

And you both loved each other. Who else was going to be there for the two of you, after the world turned their backs on you? You only had each other.

And that’s how it would stay, forever.

[tonightsyanderes]

Yandere Beastman

•Tiger Beastman•

TW: death(not reader), non-con, stalking, I am basing this off of the actual mating habits of a tiger. blood. injury to reader.

Don't like it or if these trigger you please don't read and take care of your mental health. I do NOT support or want anyone in this kind of relationship they are highly toxic and unsafe. I write the stories for entertainment purposes only.

There are not a lot of "Yandere tendencies" in this fic. Just a lot of fucked up stuff.....

Please Enjoy~

The hectic life you had before would be calm compared to the life you have now. Trying to keep yourself level-headed while the world changes around you is hard and mentally draining.

‘Note to self never trust someone that promises it’s a time machine that you’re stepping into. Even if they are… were your best friend.’ You mumble to yourself bitterly about how unfair it was to be stuck somewhere or when with nothing to help you. You heard a rustling of leaves behind you. The wind blew green leaves in your face as the rustling got louder.

You could hear the thud of hooves drawing closer to you. You quickly wiped your face clean and moved behind a tree to hide from whatever was coming. Heartbeat ringing in your ears you try to calm down by breathing in through your nose and out of your mouth. You try not to hold your breath until it gets closer. The thudding grew louder, shaking the ground. A figure ran past you, too quick to see what it was. Two more things ran by the tree you hid behind, you covered your mouth with your hand to muffle your breathing. One of them had antlers… with ears like a deer. Their legs were like a deer too… and with hooves! Where the hell are you?!?

You heard a deep growl in front of the tree. A shrill scream followed by a loud crunch was mere feet from you. Your body couldn’t move. You tried to back away, tried to uncover your mouth, tried anything! But your body refused to listen… The crunching sound was like breaking celery, a crisp crack/crunch. It stopped and you could hear the chewing of something wet and tough. One of those things must have been caught. Whatever caught it could find you too… would it eat you too? You could imagine the way it would tear into you, it would eat you alive. It ate whatever that thing was alive so you could only imagine what you would see as it tears into your stomach as the life drained away from you. The last thing you would remember would be that horrifying scene.

‘I need to get out of here… quietly’ You looked around trying to make less noise than the eating sounds. You tried to turn around when the wind picked up again. Except this time you were upwind from the beast. The sound stopped… not just the eating sounds, all the sounds around you… the birds let long ago, the wind stopped whistling, the river stopped bubbling, and the far-off thudding of hooves was no longer heard. The beating of your heart quicked, it hurt your chest. The chest that you were sure would be ripped open in mere seconds. 

Another growl and you couldn't move again. ‘Not this shit again! I need out of here!!’ Your eyes were restless and you looked around wildly. You can’t hear the soft thuds headed to the tree you hid behind. The way the beast made slow, calculating movements was a sign that it was an apex predator. Nothing scared it. A claw of a tiger stepped out from the other side. It was massive, about the size of your head. You imagined it slicing through your stomach. 

Its head followed soon after, traces of its meal all over its face. It looks almost… human. It, no He turned towards you, and you backed away as his whole body came into view. His face and torso were more human but the rest was like a tiger. His arms and legs were tiger limbs. He had an orange and black tail. Tiger ears on top of his head. He had no clothes on. Blood was caked on him everywhere. The fur on his body became clumped together and dyed red. He continued to growl at you. His teeth were long and the tips were sharp. You backed away from him as much as you could. He glared at you and stepped closer. 

“Get back! I taste bad I promise!” You shout out of fear. In your right mind, you would not be saying something like that. He stopped growling and stayed still. Just looking at you, it was worse than him moving. Staying still made him unpredictable. You crawled away quickly. He didn’t move just stared at you. You stood up slowly and continued to walk backward until you had a few trees between you and him. You sprinted away from the area and towards the sound of the river. 

 You made a small shelter out of fallen branches that leaned against a tree. The river is a small walk from the shelter, fishing got easier with time and practice. You had no idea how to start a fire without a lighter so you go cold most nights. You have seen a few… bloody leftovers of other beasts that left you berries or other foods around your little camp. 

You were trying to catch some fish with your makeshift net. A long-sleeved t-shirt with a stick in the shape of a Y can only do so much. You were so busy focusing on fishing that you didn’t hear the noises behind you. Suddenly you were pushed face-first into the ground. A growl from whatever was holding you made you freeze. It sounded so familiar… so overly terrifying. 

This was it you are going to die… you’re going to be eaten alive by that man-beast thing! A bite on the back of your neck sent pain down your spine. A scream erupted from your mouth as you kicked and grabbed at it from behind you. You heard a chuckle behind you. The claws on the massive paws tore through your clothes with ease. The teeth on the back of your neck never let up. Something wet, slime-y, and hard was pressed into your thighs. He used one hand to bring your hips up, the claws dug into your skin and drew blood. His penis was barbed on one side and painful when he entered you with no preparation. Another scream erupted from you, you tried to fight back even more. Nothing worked as he kept going until he filled you to the brim with his cum. You cried until you passed out, you’d rather be asleep when you die than awake. 

You woke up in a den with the tiger beast beside you. A dead deer beast was in front of him, he was already eating it. You whimpered and he looked over at you. He tore off a leg and tried to hand it to you. You gagged as the limb dripped blood all over the ground. He huffed and walked over to you wagging it in your face. You shook your head and started to kick at him when he came too close. He smirked and showed off his phallus it was hard and pink. 

“No! Not again! Fuck you!” You shouted as he got even closer not bothered by your attempts to hurt him. He opened his mouth his teeth on full display.

“Again! You!” He mimicked your voice almost perfectly. ‘What the hell… how the fuck…’ You couldn’t believe this…

“Mine… mate… season… you fight… you mate now.” He said in broken words. “Kill… others… need… me not… them.” He growled as he walked towards you. Your vision goes black as you pass out from fear. ‘Will I see the light of day again?...’

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

I’ve felt kind of off about my book recently, I’ve had a lot of rejection and I’ve started to think maybe I should just quit.

But then I think: what if one day it’s real? What if one day there is an actual book in the world, with a real cover and real pages and my name written on the real spine? And what if people read it? Maybe one day there’ll be people who want to keep it perfect, who don’t even want to crack the spines, who will lament over the slightest crease to the pretty pretty cover, who’ll keep their copy on a clean, beautiful shelf so pristine and perfect, who’ll share with the pages their favourite book mark with it’s pattern or it’s quote or it’s ribbon or the thousand other things that could make it special; maybe one day there’ll be people who will fold the pages, who’ll crack the spine, who’ll panic because they accidentally dropped it in the bath, who’ll underline their favourite quotes with their favourite pencil that they always have to tell themselves to stop chewing the end of; maybe one day there’ll be people who’ll put pen against the pages, who’ll draw stars and hearts in the margins, who’ll share their every thought on every page that was worth something enough to them to write on; maybe one day there’ll be people who’ll choose the perfect coloured tabs to match the cover, who’ll create a key, who’ll deem me worthy of their favourite highlighters, who’ll be able to look at the pages of their closed copy, run their fingers over those perfect coloured tabs, and see their thoughts as they read laid out before them; maybe one day there’ll be people who’ll borrow it from libraries, who’ll wipe dust from the cover, even if it’s slightly faded with time beneath the plastic sheath who’ll write their names on a card glued neatly into the front so they are part of it forever.

What if I am lucky enough to one day see a book that is not just my soul, but the souls of readers as well?

Keep writing my loves, keep writing 🖤

[xbabyd0lli3x]

Hi, I have a request for a Spencer Reid fluff. After JJ confesses to him, his partner (preferably they/then) who works at the BAU finds out and is worried he will leave them due to believing they talk too much from friends outside of work telling them they are. If possible, could reader also have ADHD, it's ok if not. You can change anything you don't like or feel comfortable writing.

hi, this has been rotting in my inbox,srry but here

Spencer Reid sat at his desk in the BAU, his mind a whirlwind of thoughts as he went over case files. He felt a tap on his shoulder and looked up to see JJ standing there, a nervous look on her face.

"Spencer, can we talk?" she asked softly.

"Of course, JJ," Spencer replied, his brow furrowing with concern. He followed her to a quieter corner of the bullpen, where she took a deep breath before speaking.

"I need to tell you something," JJ began, her words hesitant. "I... I have feelings for you. More than just friendship."

Spencer's heart skipped a beat at her confession, his mind racing as he processed her words. He had harbored secret feelings for JJ for years, but he never imagined she felt the same way.

"JJ, I... I don't know what to say," Spencer stammered, his thoughts a jumble of emotions.

"I understand if you don't feel the same way," JJ said quickly, her eyes downcast. "I just couldn't keep it to myself anymore."

Spencer reached out and gently lifted her chin, meeting her gaze with his own. "I do feel the same way, JJ," he admitted softly. "I've felt it for a long time."

A smile spread across JJ's face, relief evident in her eyes. "Really?" she asked, her voice tinged with hope.

"Really," Spencer confirmed, feeling a weight lift off his shoulders as he spoke the truth.

As they stood there, lost in the moment, Spencer's partner approached, a concerned look on their face. They had overheard the conversation and couldn't help but feel a pang of insecurity.

"Spencer... JJ..." they began hesitantly, drawing the attention of the couple.

"Hey," Spencer said warmly, reaching out to them. "Come join us."

His partner hesitated for a moment before stepping closer, their expression a mix of apprehension and vulnerability.

"I couldn't help but overhear..." they started, their words trailing off uncertainly.

Spencer squeezed their hand reassuringly. "It's okay. JJ just told me how she feels."

His partner's eyes widened in surprise. "Oh... I see."

Spencer could sense their unease and immediately wanted to alleviate their worries.

"Hey, listen," he said earnestly, looking into their eyes. "I know you have ADHD, right? Sometimes my mind is all over the place, but that doesn't mean I can't focus on what's important. And what's important to me is you."

His partner's tense shoulders relaxed slightly at his words, a small smile tugging at the corners of their lips.

"I know," they replied softly. "It's just... hearing all those comments from our friends about how much I talk, I couldn't help but wonder..."

Spencer gently cupped their face in his hands, his gaze unwavering. "You're not just 'someone' to me," he said earnestly. "You're my partner, my confidant, my rock. And I wouldn't trade you for anything in the world."

Tears welled up in his partner's eyes as they leaned into his touch, feeling a rush of love and reassurance wash over them.

"Thank you, Spencer," they whispered, their voice filled with emotion.

Spencer smiled tenderly, pulling them into a warm embrace. In that moment, surrounded by the bustling activity of the BAU, they knew that no matter what challenges they faced, they would always have each other.

[guessimwritingficsagain]

Kintsugi (the golden roses will bloom prettily in the space between your ribs)

Summary : You'd met Joel a year ago. Then you learn he and Tess are gone from the Boston QZ.

Warnings : Mature content, MDNI, rape attempt (not from Joel, though), pining, ANGST.

Tags : Just ask.

———

You hear it first in the whispers around the QZ. You see it, then, in the way your associates Matthew avoids looking you in the eye. You walk to the apartment and it’s like there’s a ticking sound, the countdown of a bomb. You knock, once, twice. Wait. Repeat the motion. Once, twice. Wait. 

There’s the sound of footsteps, then. Not familiar ones. And a voice that drawls :

‘You waistin’ your time, sweetheart. Didn’t you hear ? They gone.’

You don’t turn to look at the man. You get down the stairs and into the street. 

———

The way you see it, there are two kinds of memories living in your mind : the ones you hold on to, and the ones that won’t go away. 

What went down the day of the outbreak wakes you up at night. Ten years old, at school. The way little Timmy launched at Travis and bit him right in the throat. 

You mother always said that as a woman it was better to be a rose disguised as a sunflower. Be pretty, hide your spikes, but always be ready to strike. Draw blood. She was dead when you got home that day. 

Sometimes you think about that other memory. You have a lot of memories with Joel Miller, but there is one you hold on to. One that keeps you up at night, cunt and heart aching. The memory of fingers in your hair, as you’re not quite awake, on an old couch. It’s just that : fingers in your hair, scratching your scalp, and the heat of his thigh right next to your head. Fingers halting and warmth leaving right before the door opened and the voice of Tess announced ‘come on, we need to go’. Sometimes you think it was all a dream. 

You met Tess before you met Joel. She’d trusted you to smuggle some pills for her when things almost went south. Almost, because you were, ever since you had to kill your pal Katie by repeatedly beating her skull with a chair, your arms heavy and aching with effort, a rose disguised as a sunflower. Things almost went south but you played the dumb little girl act - almost thirty years old, you were, but you’d learned that men would believe anything as long as that belief made them think they could advantage of you. You smuggled the pills, put a knife through the throat of a FEDRA soldier, and ended up at Tess’ place with a bloody nose and a top half ripped-off. Except it wasn’t Tess’ place only, and that’s when you met Joel Miller, almost a year before today, before you hear ‘You waistin’ your time, sweetheart. Didn’t you hear ? They gone.’. 

Poetry lies in the cracks of things broken, except, at the end of the world, there is no sweet, gorgeous, shiny gold to mend what’s damaged. You’d read it in a book, once, became obsessed with it, too - Kintsugi. You’d wished you could do that - as a hobby. Wished you could take broken pottery and fix it with liquid gold. Wished you could take your heart, your ribs, your everything, and fix that too. 

When you entered Tess’ place that day and met Joel Miller, he took one look at you as Tess muttered Christ, kid, you okay ?

You were not a kid. You were almost thirty and when you were ten you had killed your friend Katie with a chair, and then Travis, and then you had gone home to find the corpse of your mother and when the world hit you, you’d hit back but also you wanted to fix pottery with shiny gold and-

And Joel Miller grabbed your jaw, gentle but firm, and his other hand grabbed your arm, sat you down, and cleaned up your bloody nose. 

That’s how you met Joel Miller. Tall, broad, manly. Precise, careful, in his movements, as Tess asked about what happened. And then Tess, to him

‘We can trust her, she’s basically a wallflower. Very useful if you want things to go quietly.’

Not a wallflower, a sunflower, you wanted to answer. I love beautiful things and I love the sun and I love when life shines. But a wallflower you were considered, and a wallflower you became. And neither Tess nor Joel took the time to see the sunflower behind the wallflower. Nor the rose with spikes hidden behind. 

And Tess put a gentle hand on Joel Miller’s shoulder, squeezed as they looked at each other and you knew. You knew that grip on your jaw, that focused gaze on your face were all you were going to get. You were not one to fool yourself.

A wallflower you’d remain. 

And Joel Miller’s name would be yours to say in the quiet of the night, fingers in your cunt, when the darkness makes the world outside disappear. 

Not quite liquid gold fixing the breaks between your ribs, but enough. 

———

They made sense, Joel and Tess. Tess was stern, face hardened by years of struggling - that made her beautiful in a way you would never be because you’d learned to hide that part of you. She was glorious. Determined, strong, assertive. 

One day you stopped before knocking at her door because you heard-

You heard. 

Even the way she moaned was beautiful. 

So you turned back, found a guy, and brought him back home. 

You woke up to a furious pounding on your door and watched Joel throw the guy out, pants barely covering his dick, shoes in his hands. 

‘Where were you last night ? Why didn’t you show up ?’

You couldn’t exactly said that you’d shown up to hear Tess being fucked into the mattress so you settled with 

‘I got distracted.’

His hand grabbed your jaw, his eyes intense. 

‘Don’t. Don’t ever do that again. Ever.’

You could have said it, then. Could have said that he didn’t seem so worried when his cock was buried in Tess’ cunt. Couldn’t have been bothered to show up before the morning after. You said nothing. 

A wallflower indeed. 

And now-

Now. 

Now it’s been two days since you felt Joel’s fingers in your hair, as you were sleeping in their apartment. Two days since he stopped and got up before Tess walked in and said ‘come on, we need to go’. Two days of whispers and glances and maybe after learning they were gone, knowing they left, maybe you got drunk, and maybe a FEDRA soldier put his hand where it didn’t belong and whispered in your ear : 

‘They’re gone now, you’re all alone, little girl.’

And maybe you slit his throat. Maybe you slit his throat and then cut his dick off, for good mesure. Nobody would know for sure, because when they found the corpse in the morning, you were long gone. 

And with you, you took nothing, except the bone-crushing knowledge that even at the end of the world, heartbreak is still what hurts the most - not killing Katie, not your dead mother, not the twenty years fighting for your life - and no amount of burning liquid gold will ever fix the empty space where your heart should be. 

But maybe, 

Maybe, you think, as you walk through green pastures on a way to a mythical place called Jackson, maybe, one can be a sunflower and a rose at the same time.

Maybe you’ll kill if you have to, and maybe, if Jackson is real, you’ll spend your time fixing pottery with- maybe not gold, but with yourself. 

But as you approach the gates of Jackson, arms raised, slowly, saying 

‘I don’t mean any harm.’

You make a promise to yourself. 

And that promise is shaken to its core when the man in front of you - warm, familiar eyes - introduces himself as Tommy, Tommy Miller. 

But you make a promise. 

A sunflower. 

A rose. 

You’re gonna fix all the goddamn vases in this place. 

The golden roses will bloom prettily in the space between your ribs, and you’ll let them be beautiful, and you’ll let them draw blood, too.

———

Taglist

@pedritobalmando @amidjarin @ajeff855 @justpedropascal @sara-alonso @sarahjkl82-blog @amidjarin @sara-alonso@justpedropasc@mrsbentallmadge @farfromjustordinary @hnt-escape @kirsteng42

[writingquestionsanswered]

Anonymous asked: I have a firm grasp on my characters, but I'm having trouble actualizing themes and character arcs into the story. My hero and villain have mirrored problems, both feeling trapped into behaving as others expect them to be, even at the detriment of their own happiness. Both wear "masks" to appear as they think they should be seen, but they're both able to see past each other's masks when no one else can. Their mirrored arcs are about putting aside others expectations and choosing to embrace their true selves, and in time, one another. How can I tie themes of identity, reputation, and appearances into themes, plot points, obstacles, etc. How can I turn these abstract ideas into solidly shaped themes, symbols, and plot points?

[Ask edited for length...]

It seems like your themes are solid... identity, reputation, expectations of others, and appearances. And you say you have a firm grasp on your characters. One thing you don't mention is your story's conflict, and I don't know if that's because it just didn't feel relevant or because your story doesn't really have one. So let's start there.

Even if your story is fully character-driven, there needs to be a conflict. Or, in other words, a problem that the protagonist is trying to solve. Without a conflict, there's nowhere for your story to go and nothing for your characters to do. It's very hard to draw abstract ideas of themes into a plot if you don't have a conflict against which to pin those themes.

So, before you worry about themes, symbols, and specific plot points, start with your conflict. Conflict can be internal (in the character's heart and mind), external (in the character's world), or both.

Here are some questions to help you work through it:

1 - What problem (conflict) has occurred in your protagonist's self, life, or world that they must now solve?

2 - How does the villain tie into this problem? Did they create the problem or allow it to be created? Are they fanning the flames of a problem that didn't initially involve them? Or are they trying to solve the problem, too, and simply have an opposing resolution/goal to the protagonist's?

3 - What obstacles does the villain create to thwart the protagonist's ability to reach their goal/solve the problem as planned?

4 - How does the protagonist overcome or work around these obstacles?

5 - How does this back and forth cause them to interact?

6 - How does the protagonist's reputation affect how and why they want to resolve the problem?

7 - How does the villain's reputation affect how and why they want to create the problem/fan the flames/solve the problem their own way/thwart the protagonist from resolving the problem?

8 - How would the protagonist and villain do things differently if their reputations weren't at stake?

9 - As the protagonist works toward reaching their goal/resolving the problem, overcoming obstacles along the way, what specific things can happen as a result (particularly due to interactions with each other) that helps these characters start to see the folly of forcing themselves to live up to others' expectations to their own detriment?

10 - As these characters move through the story, what can you do to make the "mask" identities start to slip, especially in relation to one another? What things can happen when they're in each other's presence that shows them they're both experiencing a similar problem? What things can happen that allow them to "see" each other and be able to say (or at least think) "hey, I get it... I know what this feels like. It's like this for me, too"?

11 - What are some plot relevant things that can happen that puts one or both characters in a situation where they are "putting on appearances" to meet others' expectations, but allows them to contemplate their discomfort and unhappiness as a result of having to do this?

12 - What are some elements you can think of that might symbolize your themes? For example, if these characters went to a masquerade ball, their masks can serve as symbolism for the figurative masks they have to wear to meet the expectations of others. Or, more subtly, maybe one of these characters lives in a grand estate, but it turns out only entry hall, dining room, and ballroom are grandly decorated and well kept. The rest of the state (where visitors never go), is more humble, informal, and comfortable. This would be symbolic of something (a grand estate) appearing to be something on the surface that it isn't when you look deeper.

I hope that helps!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

♦ Questions that violate my ask policies will be deleted! ♦ Please see my master list of top posts before asking ♦ Learn more about WQA here

[kaelleid]

Izzy Hands Fic Recs (March-April 2024)

My favorite of the Izzy fics that I read in March and April 2024. See other recs here.

A Grain of Devotion by @itsclydebitches (Ed/Stede/Izzy)

Kinkmeme fill for Izzy taking care of Ed's knee over the years.

go to sea once more by @deniigi (Ed/Stede/Izzy)

Izzy is desperate to go a-whaling. Stede is desperate for him and Ed to distance themselves from their rancid codependency. Ed wants his matelot's forgiveness and his boyfriend's devotion, but first and foremost he wants to maim a fucking whaler.

The Island by triedunture (Ed/Stede/Izzy)

Stede Bonnet wakes up in the little cottage he and Ed share—except Ed's not there. Izzy is. Stede is somehow stuck in a world where Ed died and Izzy lived. As he struggles to get back to his real life, it becomes clear that things on the island are very different from what he first assumed....

Let Old Dogs Lie by sunspeckfreckle (Stede/Izzy)

Stede takes Izzy on a nature walk, so that he can propose away from the pressure of having the crew potentially eavesdrop. Izzy draws the entirely wrong conclusion that Stede's decided he's outlived his usefulness.

your darkness will be rewritten by yaz113 (Stede/Izzy)

Stede and Izzy have a heart to heart and find some common ground,

Shiver in the Air, Shiver in the Water by lustig

Lucius is struggling with his trauma as he tries to reclaim his life aboard the Revenge. He tries to find peace in his relationship with Pete - and finds an unexpected (but much needed) friend and supporter in Izzy Hands along the way.

Trusty Izzy by @adrian-lavan-blog

One of the last decrees of Ed's father was that Izzy never let him see this painting. And as soon as he sees it, Ed falls in love with the subject, some Stede of Bonnet. And takes on a curse. The Sea Witch tells Izzy how he must break the curse in three steps. But if he speaks a word of it, he'll be turned to stone. How will Izzy manage his boss being frustratingly in love, and manage to save his life and his stupid marriage, without anyone ever finding out…

[leahnardo-da-veggie]

The Devil drives a good bargain.

"I'm a good salesman. I don't mean that I'm good at selling things. I'm ethical and I sell fairly. All the same, I have to make a profit, so I drive a good, fair bargain.

Your soul for your dreams.

I mean, you don't exactly need it after you die, right? So why not just hand it over then?" I looked hopefully at my customer. He seemed torn, uncertain. I needed to strike fast, hard. I needed to sell this now.

"Come on... You said you wanted to fall in love again, right? I can do that. I can make you and your wife feel as though you were both teenagers in the throes of passion. Or, if you want, I can get you to fall in love with someone else? And I'll throw in a clean divorce too. Or perhaps an open marriage? The possibilities are endless!" Still, the man hesitated. What was wrong with the bastard? I gritted my teeth. He had been standing there for weeks, quietly contemplating. Wasting my time.

"I've decided," he said. My hope soared. "I don't want any of that." My hope crashed into a tree and died. 

"Then, what do you want?" I asked, giving him a winning smile.

"I want to make a bet. If I win, I get a wish for free. If I lose, I'll give up my entire family's souls. Deal?" He suddenly seemed infinitely more confident. I was nonplussed. Some people tried to fake me out, trick me into giving them free wishes. 

"What's the bet?" I leaned on the countertop, bringing myself to his level. We stared each other in the eye.

"We swap places. I be the Devil, you be the everyman. First to give up loses. You in?" He smirked.

What was I to do? I could hardly resist a gamble. It was a deal.

Perhaps I was a fool, I thought, sitting at a desk. Overseeing a herd of imps was not fun. They drew markers everywhere, squelched mud, and somehow had the ability to cry on command. But as I was sitting there, rifling through unartistic crayon drawings, an idea struck me.

I did not have to stay in this job. I did not have to go home to a dumpy wife who was cheating on me and a pair of whiny teenagers. That fool lent me his body and by hell, I was going to get a good deal out of it.

I decided to think of it as a vacation. I took out all the cash from the accounts, including the kids' college funds and the retirement money. Then I borrowed an unthinkably large amount of money before disappearing off to the tropics.

I spent my days in luxury, traveling, seeing the world, gambling when I needed more cash (for the Devil always wins). I saw the world from the rose-tinted glasses of the rich, and enjoyed luxuries beyond imagination. After a while, I began to dread the end of the bet.

And then I grew old, and still the bet had not come to an end. My heart was on the verge of dying on me, and I lay bedridden with kidney failure. So I did what anyone who was not in their own body would do in that situation. 

I jumped off a 50 story building. The impact did not hurt that much. It all quickly faded to black.

I reappeared on the other side of my counter. The man whose body I occupied stood manning my shop. When he saw me, he laughed maniacally. "So you just couldn't stand the old missus, huh? Guess I beat the Devil at his own game," he said. I merely smiled, and got back on the right side of my shop. He hopped over the counter, grinning wildly.

"So… About my boon?" he asked. I steepled my fingers and sat down, leaning backwards.

"I'm afraid not. We only serve living customers. I'm afraid your body died while under my care. But thank you for the free vacation," I replied, allowing myself a satisfied smile. 

His face turned thunderous. "What do you mea-" He was whisked off to the afterlife in a flash of light before he could finish. Cheerfully, I waved at him as he went.

"Thank you for shopping with us. Have a nice day!" I called after him.

[senselessalchemist]

fancy dress(es)

[yuttikkele]

I personally think pokemon trainer fans are more insane than the actual pokémon fans, but maybe I’m just making stuff up

[martyrbat]

[ID: Batman flinging himself off a building and grappling through the air. His thought bubbles read, "For years I've hoped Harvey's good side would take over, once and for all... But I've begun to despair that will ever happen... This side of the grave." END ID]

[ID: Harvey Dent and Batman standing closely together and exchanging a quick talk as Harvey gets arrested by a cop. Batman's back is to the viewer but his head is turnt to look at Harvey. Harvey hesitantly requests, "Batman... Will you tell Gilda... Tell her what I did?" Batman promises, "I will, Harvey. Thank you." Harvey is surprised and asks, "For what?!" Batman tells him, "For giving me hope." END ID]

[myrfing]

sorry for low res images cause I took this from a playthrough video but. dolores dei and hydaelyn im connecting the dots

[wereh0gz]

Ouuhhhghhg

What if. What if I put I'm with you in the animatic as the bgm. But edited it. To make it creepy and wrong

What if I did that