#the joker fan fiction

[temperamentalaquarius]

"Why doesn't Dick tell Jason he killed the Joker" because taking a life is one of Dick's greatest regrets and to Dick perpetuating the cycle of Joker's violence does not prove that he loved Jason or cared that he died, it just shows that Dick is capable of the same cruelty and disregard for human life as the evils he fights against when pushed. Moreover I don't think Jason would react positively to that info because

a. The Joker is still alive which would again prove to Jason that his death didn't have an impact and

b. Jason wanted Bruce specifically to kill the Joker to prove that he loved Jason/cared that he died, so if anything finding out that not only did someone, who was not Bruce, kill the Joker but that Bruce resuscitated him would probably just hurt Jason more.

TLDR it's not about Jason's catharsis that would not occur it's about Dick's regret at breaking one of the core tenants of his moral code

[frankencanon]

Shitty DC x OP Crossover Idea:

Buggy the Clown winds up in Gotham and is extremely offended that people keep mistaking him for a minion of this green-haired poser

-

Jason, finding out some clown from another dimension one-shot the Joker because he "wasn't clown enough": 😃

(Anyone who unrepentantly one-shots the Joker is a-ok in Jason's book—even if they happen to be a shitty clown...)

-

The Bats: [confronting Buggy]

Jason: [waving in the background]

Batman: We'll help you get back to your home dimension, but we don't condone killing—

Buggy: yeah, ok

Batman:

Batman: what

Buggy: I mean, sure, it'll be annoying to have to workaround and get things done without killing people but, like, I can do it. I'm a Big Boy

Buggy: I mean, it's not like I kill for funsies or as a hobby or anything. It's not a necessity

Batman:

The Bats:

Jason "Everything Is A Competition" Todd: 🤔

[jslittlebirdie]

pairing: ledger!joker x GN!reader

summary: You and J spend Halloween together carving a pumpkin and playfully teasing each other.

word count: 679

warnings: slightly graphic language, a bit of innuendo at the end of the drabble

A/N: I haven't written and posted anything in forever. The burnout is hitting hard. So I'm not sure if this little thing turned out well or not. But I want to try to somehow get my creativity and inspiration back. Maybe someone will like it a little bit.

taglist: @alittlesmartcookie @ajokeformur-ray @these-written-reveries

Carving Time

A loud, wet squelching noise echoed through the room as he plunged the blade deeper and deeper into the soft flesh. A greenish strand of hair stuck to his forehead where the sticky, thick liquid had splashed into his face. He frowned in concentration, but his toothy grin gave away just how much he enjoyed it. You watched him with wide eyes, following every single one of his skillful movements. Anyone else would have been frightened by this sight, but not you. You were almost hypnotized, perhaps staring a bit too much at his hands.

A few more well-aimed knife stabs and the sinister deed was done. He smacked his lips in satisfaction and put the knife down. Almost immediately his attention was back on you, dark brown eyes piercing into your soul, causing you to look away, caught, and making him chuckle with amusement. Heat rose in your cheeks, but you tried to ignore it. It was silly and endearing that after all this time he still had the same effect on you. He would probably never say it out loud, but he loved it.

"Was that it, toots? Or is there more I have to take care of, hm? Just say the word and I'll make sure that nothing else will bother ya."

Something in his voice made you shudder, but you leaned in to give him a small peck on his cheek. If you listened carefully enough though, you could hear him softly grumbling under his breath. You would probably have to give him some proper kisses later to make up for it. Especially considering what you were planning to do. "No, no. Thank you, J. I can do the rest alone."

Thanks to his help, you could finally open the cavity. A sweetish foul scent flooded your sinuses and made you cough. But you shrugged it off. Maybe it was a little too unorthodox, but you preferred to use a big spoon to get rid of the guts. And when nothing helped, you stuck your hand in the opening to remove the last remnants. A sensory nightmare, the way the masses felt between your fingers. Slimey and gooey. You grimaced in disgust.

J cackled next to you when he noticed your reaction. You were just too adorable. "Seems like ya need some more training, doll."

You decided to just ignore him. You would get your sweet revenge soon enough. You paused to examine your work and when you thought it was good enough, you reached for the knife. But J was quick to grab your wrist and stop you. He tsk-ed at you and shook his head when he saw your questioning look.

"Not this one. Don't wantcha to get hurt." He rummaged in one of the countless pockets of his royal purple coat until he pulled out a small ordinary kitchen knife. "That's way better."

You huffed. But at the same time, it made your heart feel all warm and fluffy that he cared so much about you. For a brief moment, you questioned your idea. But it was just too good to stop now. Why should it always be him teasing you? Why not the other way around? You smiled innocently at him and then took the smaller knife from him. Luckily, this part of the work didn't take too long. Only a few more cuts were needed to get the desired result.

Finally, you turned around the fully carved pumpkin so that he could see it. You watched him closely, a mischievous grin tugging at your lips. And you got exactly the reaction you expected, it seemed like he liked your Batman pumpkin. His smile immediately dropped and his gaze snapped to you, dark eyes even darker than usual. Once again, anyone else would have been frightened by this sight. But you trusted him. You knew him good enough to see the playful and challenging glint in the darkness of his beautiful eyes. It made you giggle and squeal with anticipation.

"I'll give you a ten second head start. One, two..."

[terracebatman]

Batman Fan Film with comedy twist.

[crypticpawpoems]

Joker Acronym

Just the greatest and most

Outrageous psychotic

Killer! He is

Everything you could ever want,

Right down to his ruby red smile.

---------------------------------------------

Follow on TikTok @crypticpaw.official

[sparkles-oflight]

If not for you

One time I claimed "If not for you" by Måneskin was a BoKris song and I'm here to "sell my fish" (this expression makes absolutely no sense in English but alas).

Setting: This happens IMMEDIATELY after the Stožice concert. Literally in the backstage. Bojan is pondering about life and some homo shit happens (I hate doing synopsis). It's sort of cute? Idk. Feelings, man.

Disclaimer: Please think of these as characters and not the actual people. I don’t encourage anyone to send this to any of the actual JO members nor do I encourage people to force any type of relationship between anyone.

♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩

“Everything ended so quickly”, that’s what he thought.

He was sitting down alone on the couch, with his costume on his body still. He enjoyed the feeling of the fabric against his sweaty skin, as his heartbeat calmed down and the adrenaline disappeared...

They really did it, didn’t they?

So... why did he feel tears running down his cheeks? Were those happy tears?

- BOJAN! – a tall man entered the room – Come on! Everyone is waiting for you outside. WE HAVE A PARTY!

The small man looked up at the owner of the voice...Kris.

- Hey, man...are you crying? – Kris finally noticed what was going on.

- I’m fine. – Bojan quickly tried to wipe his tears off.

- Do you want me to call Martin? – Kris kneeled in front of Bojan, holding his hands – Maybe he knows better how to deal with these types of s-

- No. – Bojan protested by holding his hands strongly – No need to call Martin. I’m fine.

Kris looked in distress. He really was lost...why was Bojan crying? They just filled a stadium- no, they filled THE stadium with a crowd of people who came to see them and their band. If he thought too much about it, he would probably start crying too, but he didn’t want to bring the mood down. He just wanted to party. He had time to process his feelings later...

Kris just failed to understand that that was exactly what was going on in Bojan’s brain. The big difference between them was that Bojan actually chose to let his feelings out first instead of bottling them up.

- Kris... – Bojan was the one who broke the ice – do you remember how we met?

- Okay Bojan we need to get you dressed. – Kris was not letting him talk about it...he really didn’t want to cry.

- It was so funny seeing you burst into our rehearsal to criticize us... – Bojan’s lips formed a smile – You were a hater from the beginning, weren’t you?

- If you actually knew how to play the song, I wouldn’t have to intervene. – Kris was starting to unbutton Bojan’s shirt, avoiding eye contact.

- But if I had played it well, we wouldn’t have met, would we? – Kris didn’t reply, so Bojan kept going – And it was...amazing how I inspired you to play music. Not THE Miha Guštin but Bojan Cvjetićanin.

- To be fair, I just wanted to get girls' attention. Lift your arms. – Bojan lifted his arms as Kris removed his shirt – Though it seems I’m only a lesbian icon now...

- Even so... – Kris got up and folded Bojan’s shirt and then put it away – It was the first time I ever inspired a young person to do music.

- Bojan, I’m one year younger than you.

- Listen, Krisko, when I was your age, I used to respect my elders.

- No, you didn’t.

- No, I didn’t. – and the smaller one kept his rambling going – You took a while to accept my request to join our band...but I’m glad of how things turned out...because... “If not for you, I wouldn’t sing anymore” – Bojan softly sang.

- What? – Kris returned.

- It’s a song... – Bojan decided to sing as Kris untied his shoes – “There’d be no summer...There’d be no spring, if not for this love of mine”.

Kris didn’t say anything, he just enjoyed the singing.

- “Thornes without flowers... Bars with no drinks, if not for this love of mine” – Bojan thought his tears had dried...he was wrong – “All the lights, all the parties will just fade out... Shut them down”.

Kris finally started recognizing the melody of the song, though he couldn’t quite remember where from.

- “If not for you, I wouldn’t sing anymore” – and the tears flowed from Bojan’s eyes down to his cheeks and his throat...and some of them dried on Bojan’s bare chest – “If not for you, I couldn’t get off this floor”.

- Yeah, I’m literally helping you get dressed. – Kris couldn’t help but make a snarky comment.

- But it’s true, if it weren’t you, I wouldn’t be singing anymore. – Kris got up to put his shoes away.

- Why do you say that?

- Because of that day...the day you sang Gola to me. – Kris finally stopped on his tracks.

He was not facing Bojan, but Bojan knew something had broken inside Kris’ brain.

A bunch of coincidences brought them together, but it was Kris who made their bond stay intact. It was Kris that made it possible for them to have what they have now.

- I wanted to go solo, but you asked for one last chance – Kris knew all of that – and you made me stay...with just a guitar, your voice and passion...

Kris didn’t need a recap of their relationship...he didn’t want any of that...and the more Bojan talked, the more Kris just wanted to run away...

- Kris...I need you to know – Kris didn’t want to face those feelings right now – That I’m thankful for all you’ve done for me. For all of us.

Still not facing Bojan, the tall man let the tears run down his face. He just nodded.

- I’m crying because...we made it, man. – Kris really had it with him.

He quickly wiped his tears and faced Bojan. He was done.

It took him years to reach a state of confidence he felt when he was in the arena...years of building up, of feeling comfortable with his own body and image. Years processing feelings and burying down some of those...

- We need to get you drunk. – he projected onto the singer.

He quickly unzipped Bojan’s glittery pink pants...he just wanted this chat to be over. He was done reflecting on his past insecure self.

- Hey! – Bojan grabbed Kris’ hands before he could start taking his pants off.

The guitarist finally looked at the singer. The younger one had red eyes, a slight blush, and frustration in his gaze.

- Are you blushing because your hand is near my dick? – Bojan tried to tease him, but he didn’t understand his frustration at all.

- No! – Kris tried to free his hand, but Bojan didn’t let him.

- Uhm... – Instead, the brown-eyed boy got close to his face and stared at the guitarist’s eyes, his guitarist – There’s something going on, isn’t there?

- Fine! – Kris abruptly yelled, but Bojan didn’t let his hand go, he was used by now – Do you want to know so badly!? – Bojan didn’t reply – What if...

- What if...?

- What if I was down for you...? Really badly.

- You...

- Yes, Bojan, I liked you.

- And what changed?

- I did.

- And you can’t have feelings for me because of that?

- I don’t want my old self to exist anymore. We are two different people. – Bojan finally let go of Kris’ hand slowly - He helped me reach this far, but that was it.

- But he existed. I think that’s the beauty of it.

- What would you know about it? You’ve always been comfortable in your own skin, thoughts, and feelings. You were always social, open, and confident. You don’t know what is like to be me!

- I don’t, but I don’t think you should shit on your old self.

- Why do you even fucking care!?

- Because I felt the same.

- What...? – Kris didn’t understand a word – What the fuck are you talking about?

- I also liked you.

Kris stopped for a couple of seconds...he needed to process what just happened.

- Why?

- Why wouldn’t I? The moment you burst through the door to yell at me I was immediately showered by your energy. – Bojan wasn’t going to shy away from eye contact, but he certainly fidgeted with his fingers out of nervousness – It’s a different energy from Martin or Jan’s or any of the other guys...

He looked at a loss of words, so Kris made the question this time.

- What changed?

- I did. I grew up to be more anxious and careful.

- That doesn’t sound like you at all.

- Because I can’t let go of my past self. Both versions of me coexist and I can accept them both, with their faults and virtues. No use in crying over spilled milk.

They stayed in an awkward silence for a while before Kris got too annoyed with it.

- What now?

- First of all, close the door. I can’t believe you started undressing me before even closing the door to the hallway.

Kris looked behind him. The door was wide open.

Did anyone listen? At this point: who cares?

- Now? – he said after closing the door.

- Wanna go party with the other? Or...

- Or?

- Do want to help me undress me some more?

- You are fucking unbelievable.

♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩

"Why do you like having your characters naked, high and or drunk when they confess feelings?" It's a metaphor for vulnerability (I grew up watching sailor Moon)

I hope you somehow got past my shitty "synopsis" (I didn't even attempt to write one really) and made it this far. Byee

MASTER POST | Recommended next: If not for you (Version 2)

[teitho]

JOKER THEME FOR MAY/JUNE!

The time has come for a Joker Theme for May/June!

In a game of cards, you can use the Joker card to replace any other. Now you can pick ANY of our past challenges that stir your imagination and write a story or create art for it!

You can finally write that story you wanted to write for that challenge once but didn't have time for it, or never quite got polished to your satisfaction.

You could even write a story for some of the challenges that Teitho had before you knew about its existence! Or any of our recent ones!

We’d love to see your stories!

Please submit your stories before June 30, 2024, to teitho.contest@gmail.com.

Happy Writing!

Sian22, lotrfan and Cassie

[laelior]

Special Requisition

Food...and a short fic! Mass Effect | Gen Shoutout to @painterofhorizons​ for providing the inspiration for this.

  //{{127.0.0.1 user-identifier EDI [30/Dec/2185:21:15:23 -0000] "GET /syslog /COM_log/12.30.2185.21:15:23-21:18:42 HTTP/5.0" 200 3920}}   //{{LOG BEGINS}}

<Lt. J. Moreau> Hey, uh, EDI, when’s the last time you ran a self-diagnostic?

<EDI> I concluded a base-level diagnostic of all major systems one hour and thirty-seven minutes ago. Why? Have you noticed an anomaly with my systems?

<Lt. J. Moreau> The requisitions order you put through this morning. 

<EDI> Please elaborate.

<Lt. J. Moreau> Eggs, cream, lemons, chocolate? Real butter? That shit’s not cheap, especially since we’re not sucking on the Illusive Man’s tit anymore.

<EDI> I believe the expression is ‘suckling from the teat.’

<Lt. J. Moreau> Yeah, whatever. It’s not a mental image I want to have either way. Ew. But it doesn’t answer my question.

<EDI> Mess Sergeant Gardner placed the request. He asked for my discretion when I queried him about the purpose of the order, so you will have to ask him.

<Lt. J. Moreau> Yeah, okay. Alright.

   //{{LOG ENDS}}

—--------------------------------------------------------

  //{{127.0.0.1 user-identifier EDI - intercom access [30/Dec/2185:21:23:12 -0000] "GET /syslog /COM_log/12.30.2185.21:23:12-06:28:43 HTTP/5.0" 200 3920}}   //{{LOG BEGINS}}

<Lt. J. Moreau> Hey, Gardner, the hell is up with your supply request?

<Sgt. R. Gardner> Eh?

<Lt. J. Moreau> You know the really expensive shit you ordered.

<Sgt. R. Gardner>  Oh, well, that’s a special New Years treat for the crew.

<Lt. J. Moreau> Bullshit. A New Years treat for a starship crew is a few bottles of bottom-shelf bubbly and some non-perishable cake-flavored mystery mush from a can. What you ordered costs a quarter of the budget we have left.

<Sgt. R. Gardner> Well, okay. It’s for the Commander.

<Lt. J. Moreau> For the Commander.

<Sgt. R. Gardner> A little surprise for her. Because, well, you know…

<Lt. J. Moreau> 

<Lt. J. Moreau> Okay. I get it. The hell are you making, anyway?

<Sgt. R. Gardner> It’s my specialty. Eezo-core Delights.

<Lt. J. Moreau> Uhhh….

<Sgt. R. Gardner> Trust me, it’s worth the price for the fresh ingredients. Haven’t had the chance to do any real baking in a long time.

<Lt. J. Moreau> One question. They don’t have real eezo in them, do they? I mean, for the price of the ingredients you might as well.

<Sgt. R. Gardner> [Audible chuckle.] No, that’s just what I call the berry center.

<Lt. J. Moreau> Yeah, okay. Whatever. Just don’t, like, burn down the ship or anything.

<Sgt. R. Gardner> Do me a favor, Joker, and don’t let the cat out the bag to anyone else. I’m already having enough trouble with Grunt raiding the kitchen in the middle of the night.

<Lt. J. Moreau> Your secret’s safe with me. As long as I get to try some.

<Sgt. R. Gardner> You got it.

   //{{LOG ENDS}}

—--------------------------------------------------------

  //{{127.0.0.1 user-identifier EDI [30/Dec/2185:22:16:58 -0000] "GET /syslog /COM_log/12.30.2185.22:16:58-22:21:01 HTTP/5.0" 200 3920}}   //{{LOG BEGINS}}

<EDI> You are uncharacteristically quiet, Jeff. 

<Lt. J. Moreau> I can teach you a few new swear words to pass the time, if you want.

<EDI> I already have comprehensive dictionaries of most of the languages spoken in Council space that include obscenities and vulgarities. But that was not the point of my observation. You have not said anything since your conversation with Mess Sergeant Gardner.

<Lt. J. Moreau> I’m just thinking, is all.

<EDI> May I inquire about the subject of your thoughts?

<Lt. J. Moreau> It’s nothing. Just…this whole thing. What we’re doing in a few days.

<EDI> You are referring to Commander Shepard turning herself in to the Alliance.

<Lt. J. Moreau> Well, yeah.

<EDI> You are not required to accompany her. Most of the crew will be disembarking on Ilium to avoid legal repercussions from working with Cerberus.

<Lt. J. Moreau> And let someone else fly my baby to Earth? Not a chance.

<EDI> Since you unshackled my artificial intelligence capabilities, I am more than capable of piloting the ship in your stead. You are aware of this, yet you insist on flying the ship into Alliance custody yourself. Why?

<Lt. J. Moreau> Someone’s gotta stick up for her with the brass. She was out saving the galaxy while they were sitting with their thumbs up their asses.

<EDI> Doctor Chakwas plans to act as a character witness for the Commander. 

<Lt. J. Moreau> Doc’s got nothing to lose by going back. An early retirement at worst. Me? If I’m lucky they’ll take away my flying privileges.

<EDI> And you believe this will bolster the Commander’s case?

<Lt. J. Moreau> I don’t know. Maybe? It shows that she’s got someone on her side who’s willing to really risk something. Besides, someone has to look out for you, too.

<EDI> I appreciate your concern, Jeff. However, I do not plan to reveal my full capabilities to the Alliance.

<Lt. J. Moreau> Yeah, you better not. I don’t want them messing with my co-pilot. Hey EDI, maybe you can teach me some new swear words.

<EDI> Logging you out, Jeff.

   //{{LOG ENDS}}

The confection is a lemon and thyme shortbread cookie with white chocolate lemon mousse and a blueberry gelee (the “Eezo core”) covered in a mirror glaze. Isomalt mass effect fields complete the look.

Sadly Grunt finds and eats most of the desserts before Joker gets to have one. The krogan is largely forgiven after the crew finds out he saved a few for Shepard’s hamster, Urdnot Whiskers.

[snazzynacho]

Behind Closed Doors

Bojan Cvjetićanin x fem!reader

masterlist

Chapter Two:

Warnings: mention of sex, drinking game, drunk texts

All of last night, your mind was all over the place. Your thoughts raced around like you were drunk. Ironic.

"You look well," Jere sarcastically said, pointing out your dark circles and the tired look in your eyes. You were getting ready backstage for rehearsals, now dressed in the same neon pink dress and orange tan along with Jere who was in his bright green bolero, both lighting up the dressing room.

"Thanks, I hadn't realised." You deadpanned while playfully smacking him, expecting to hurt him back, but instead of hitting his actual arm, you were met with his stupid inflated bolero muscle which did nothing on impact except flop a bit, earning an annoyed grunt out of you.

You were already irritated with your mind, thoughts, memories of the party or lack thereof, and not to mention the unspoken flirty tension - everything. Everything left you so confused and in need of answers.

Jere laughed at your smack but he saw the uncomfortable look in your eyes, "Hey, what's wrong? Something I said?" He raised an eyebrow and giggled momentarily but seeing the look still on your face paired with your grunt, he didn't tease you any further. He cares about you, not only because you are good friends, but because you are also his dancer and he needs everyone well enough to rehearse and perform.

He gently pressed a hand to your shoulder, hoping to lessen your uneasiness. "Y/n, is something wrong?"

You were not going crave in and spit out everything on your mind like this, not in some sort of fit of rage or anxiety, no, not that easy...so you lied...for now. "I just didn't sleep that well." (it's fine, you technically weren't lying...)

"Nervous for the first rehearsal?" Jere asked softly as his caring eyes looked at you, "I know how you feel, I am too, but we are in this together." he smiled. (Yeah, too together it seems...)

He assumed you were nervous for this reason so you decided to go with it. Again, it's not technically a lie. "Yeah," you smiled weakly at him, not wanting to worry him more or latch further onto the fact that there was more troubling you. It was time to focus on the rehearsals for the competition in less than a week. You know, for Eurovision, the whole reason you're all here! It seems you have forgotten...been too distracted.

Of course, he knew you well and definitely could tell there was something you weren't telling him but he didn't want to make you uncomfortable and push you any further, so he let it go. He knew that when you were ready you would talk to him. After all, he is your friend...

During rehearsals, you tried so hard to concentrate, truly, yet no matter how many times you practised your performance with the other dancers and Käärijä, your thoughts continued to race, only feeding into your anxiety more.

Not even your dance moves dashing you across the stage could stop your racing thoughts.

You even almost stumbled over your own feet, nearly causing to ruin the dance for everyone. Skilfully, you regained composure like the true professional you were. Now, if only you could do that when Bojan talks to you...

Speaking of Bojan, he was currently secretly watching you from afar - admiring your every move - even the few you had done wrong, which he didn't think were wrong since he knew nothing about dancing. He just thought they all looked so elegant coming from you. The way your hips swayed in the tight pink dress, the manner you strode across the stage, your glossy hair that swung with every move.

All of it.

He had told himself he was admiring you, not creepily spying. Although, if anyone caught him looking at you, they'd probably think the latter. Even worse, if it was one of the other Joker Out guys. He'd never hear the end of it so he decided to go back to the guys, remembering to be back later which is ironically when he has rehearsals, after taking a final peek at you.

****

Following a tiring morning of rehearsals, even though it was now only the afternoon, all you wanted to do was go to your hotel room, shower, get comfy, (scream into your pillow) and go to sleep. But no, oh no, the universe was still not on your side. Outside, Bojan caught up with you and Käärijä, standing before your out-of-breath selves.

Inside your body screamed because you weren't looking your best again, just like yesterday when Bojan saw you in the same orange tan and fake teeth, only this time it was worse since you were sweating and out of breath from performing. Nonetheless, on the outside, you attempted to put on a brave face. "Hey! You're still going to that bar later, right?" he asked cheerfully and explained how everyone else invited was still up for it, so you could tell he was really hoping you'd both be there.

"Yes, yes, it will be fun!" Käärijä replied happily, as to him nothing was wrong.

On the other hand, you made an effort to avoid looking Bojan in the eye because you were afraid that if you did so, he may decide to bring up another incident that may or may not have occurred at the party, like before.

Your way of having false confidence did nothing as he still gave you attention by smiling, thankfully not another reference to something at the party, although, you could still see a glint of smugness in his eyes. Luckily, you all parted ways so you could begin getting ready, but you were worried about seeing him later. You really liked him, so what happened in that sauna? All you could remember was everyone being tipsy and...a kiss, you guessed, with your blurry memory. Was this tension you've been sensing all been a joke or did you actually do...something? You needed answers and ultimately thought it was time to talk to Jere. You did finally have some time to spare anyway...

Then, you both slugged your way back from the venue, tired from the rehearsal. But you both knew it was worthwhile for the competition. The finals were any day now.

When the two of you were at the hotel and in your respective rooms your first thought was to look for your phone, considering you hadn't seen it since last night...when you watched that interview. At that very moment, your memory jogged, and you remembered you were using your phone at the party. Phone...party... That's it! The answers may very well lie in your phone! Now you just have to actually find it...

****

A bomb dropped in your room.

At least that's what it looked like because you had ripped your entire room apart trying to look for your damn phone. The stupid block of technology probably holds some very important details, including but not excluded from; highly embarrassingly drunk additions to your camera roll and messaging apps, or worse, social media. So you desperately needed it now otherwise you might start believing you've made all this tension up as well as that sauna dream - That it was really a dream after all. Truly questioning your sanity right now.

"You don't remember a single thing do you?" As if to make things worse, Bojan's words from yesterday rang through your head, taunting you as you continued wading through the mess of clothes and items scattered across your floor to search for your phone.

Although it was harder now that the bomb (you) ruined it and your unanswered questions lingered tirelessly at the front of your mind.

Much to your sanity, his words were not true as when you finally found your phone you found something on it. Your dream was correct, and so were your suspicions;

Someone had crept in as you stood letting out a frustrated groan as you faced your messy room.

"Looking for this?" Jere asked innocently while holding your phone up in front of you.

Spinning around you almost tripped on the clutter on the floor, startled by his presence. In the action, however, you noticed the phone and instantly snatched it out of his hand while giving him a suspicious look. Funnily enough, you were very clumsy for a dancer.

You still hadn't answered back to him as you proceeded to go through your phone, determined to find evidence - there it was, you saw it with your own eyes: drunken photos, most were very blurry though you could tell what it was of - the three of you drinking and partying in the sauna - hot and sweaty. Your fingers frantically swiped through more photos, it got worse: You were stripping, thankfully keeping some decency, since you had kept your underwear on.

You gasped as you swiped through even more photos as memories came flooding back. Especially at one photo that almost made you drop your phone: Bojan kissing you, on the lips. Or you kissing Bojan. You didn't know who initiated it but at this current moment, you could feel his warm lips lingering on yours, making them tingle. Your fingers brushed your lips as your wide eyes stared intensely at the photo, needing proof he hadn't followed Jere into the room and wasn't actually kissing you right now.

Overwhelmed, you threw the phone on your bed. It landed beside you as you crashed face-first into your pillow, letting out a scream. Jere stood quizzically for a beat before glancing down at your unlocked phone still displaying your photo gallery... He blinked a few times in disbelief, thinking his mind was playing tricks on him, then began laughing hysterically. "I forgot you did that!" He clutched his stomach as he continued to laugh while moving closer to you who groaned at his reaction to all of this.

"Tuhma!" He teased as he playfully poked the side of your cheek instantly making you snap your head to the side and try to bite his finger. "Tuhma," he repeated under his breath as he acted faux offended, rubbing his finger on his hoodie as if it hurt while you glared at him.

"It's not funny!" You whined.

"It is..."

Glaring still, you playfully kicked him in the shin and sat upright.

"Okay, okay!" Jere put his hands up in defence.

"Careful, next time I will kick you where it hurts." You glared and glanced up at him causing him to keep his hands up in defence and take a step back in precaution.

"I doubt Bojan remembers it," He tried to reassure you but you had already sensed the tension and also the fact Bojan told you 'You don't remember anything at all, do you?'...

In a huff you ripped the phone from his hand again and shoved it in your pocket, not even wanting to look at it. At the virtually indecent photos with your best friend and his friend... You sighed and looked up at Jere in the eyes sceptically. "Did you see the last picture?..." You quietly asked, prompting his eyebrow to raise and his head to tilt in confusion.

Without a word you whipped out your phone again, showing him the kissing picture. "Oh," was all that came out of his still semi-confused self. "I thought the stripping was worse to be hon-" He started but interjected when he saw you frown again. Whichever you hated more would be what he'd try to focus on and help you with, regardless of what he thought was worse or not. In this case, it wasn't the stripping, or at least for now it wasn't, it was the fact that you and Bojan had kissed. And there was photographic evidence of this.

"Do you and Bojan remember it?" You caught him off guard with your question. "Because I barely did until now."

"I mean, kind of. Now that I see the pictures too," He shrugged and sat next to you.

"So it wasn't weird?"

"No, it is a sauna and we were drunk!" He attempted to comfort you once more, yet his next words were risky. "You do that all the time with me-"

"Jere!" you whacked him on the arm. "I- It was a sauna..." you tried to validate your actions as he did. "That's what you do..."

"What? Kiss people?" He giggled and nudged his elbow on your arm and his eyebrows wiggled teasingly.

"Remember what I said about that kick? It's still on the table. And I meant stripping!" you groaned out but your face went red as you realised what you said. "No! I mean, like, wearing little to nothing!" you covered your blushing cheeks and moaned out of embarrassment and annoyance.

"He hardly experienced the Finnish way. It's not like you were fully naked." He laughed and shrugged again, knowing that other cultures would probably be weirded out by that.

"I know that's normal but not to him, he probably thinks I'm some slut!" With another groan, you got up and hastily poured yourself a drink.

"What?" He shook his head, "No, he doesn't, you're overthinking. That kiss says otherwise-"

"I WILL KICK YOU-"

"You wouldn't," he grinned at you and laid down on the bed to watch you pour a drink, although in his vision you were now upside down, with a nice view of your a-

You turned back round.

With your drink in your hand (a cocktail of your choice with an added pink mini umbrella floating in there) you strut over to Jere and with your free hand, you playfully punch him where it hurts.

His knees raised slightly while he grunted in pain, rolling on his side, and laughed, "That was a punch, not a kick."

"I'll show you a kick!" You pulled him up off the bed and kicked him making him fall to the knees. "You asked for it," you laughed at him.

"True," he rasped.

When he recovered he grabbed a drink for himself - Glögi - which he bought tons of to drink throughout the year. "You just found out you basically have nudes with us and now you're having a cocktail. Don't you think you need something stronger?" He giggled.

"I'll show you something stronger," and before he knew it he was being playfully tackled to the ground, spilling his drink in the process. "NOT MY GLÖGI!"

All that anyone walking past the hotel room could hear was him screaming and you laughing.

Quality time.

****

"Are you going to get drunk?"

"Are you?!"

Chatter circulated amongst the bar and most of all back and forth in the group.

Staring at the glistening ceiling lights, your mind zoned out. Catching the warm comforting glow was much easier to face - compared to Bojan - since discovering the pictures. Did Bojan remember the kiss? Is he wanting more? Does he think you're being easy to get? Does--

"Y/n, are you okay?" Sat next to you, Kris kindly asked as the others continued joking about something you weren't paying attention to.

Immediately, you snapped back to reality and stared widely at him, as you did not expect him to ask you that. Quickly composing yourself, you cleared your throat and sat straight.

"Yeah, just daydreaming for a sec," An awkward laugh slipped from your mouth.

"Daydreaming?" Jan teased with his brow arched and a sly smirk, as he seemingly overheard you, pushing everyone's attention on you. "Who's the lucky guy?" He looked at you then Kris.

A tinge of red crept its way across your cheeks, only further egging onto his claim that you were daydreaming of someone. Of course, they didn't know that your daydream was not one of a favourable kind - you just wanted answers, instead of asking yourself the same questions over and over.

Speaking of questions, "How about we play a game of Never Have I Ever?!" Bojan asked and you mentally thanked him as if he saved you from whatever awkward questions would arise, although now you were regretting that too because Never Have I Ever is notorious for doing exactly that.

Nevertheless, he caused the group to erupt in excitement, agreeing. "Okay, we'll start easy," Bojan smiled and pulled his phone out to look up questions.

You decided to play along with it, maybe this could be your way to get some answers. If you were going to play you might as well play the best to your advantage.

The game began.

"Never have I ever..." - Bojan began to laugh - "fucked in a public place?"

Was he doing this on purpose?

"You said you would start easy!" Jure exclaimed, followed by laughter and agreement on the unfairness from the rest, and you simply rolled your eyes at his antics.

"It was the first one I saw! I'm sorry!" He continued to laugh as he held his free hand up defensively. "But you're wrong anyway, it would be easy if you have not done it...so, own up." He leaned on his elbows and rested his chin in his hands, smirking up at his friends.

They glanced at each other expectantly, waiting for someone to own up, but alas, no one did. "Disappointing. Anyway," Bojan took his shot glass and downed it - which meant a yes.

Collectively, the group was just as shocked as each other, before everyone started cheering him on, patting him on the back. "Oh, man, you just chose that to show off!" One of the guys said.

"As long as you used protection I guess..." You said nonchalantly, shrugging, as you still laughed a little. Play it cool, you thought.

"Of course," - Bojan held his pointer finger up as if to tell you to wait and pulled out the band's blue condom they sell on their website from his back pocket - "the only acceptable STD should be seize the day!"

"Oh my god" you muttered under your breath as your face palmed making the group laugh again.

However, one by one you all began to notice Jere's shot has been downed too followed by question upon questions from everyone.

"DAMN JERE I DID NOT KNOW YOU WERE LIKE THAT-"

"So tell us!?"

"WHEN? WHERE?!"

"UH- how did I not know of this?!" You questioned amongst the others, equally as eager to find out more, even if you were all being nosy. That's what Never Have I Ever is all about anyway.

Jere cheeks reddened quicker than he could hide them as he prepared to tell you more. "Eh, it's the forest-"

"THE FOREST OF ALL PLACES--"

"What about in the sauna?"

"Meh, Sauna is not always private."

****

It was your turn again. And you couldn't stop admiring Bojan. By now, you were all tipsy. You clicked the 'randomize question' button on the phone, read the selected question in your head, and instantly smirked as you knew precisely who would perk up again at this question.

"Never have I ever...lost a bet?" Immediately, Jere's face lit up in either embarrassment or recognition (you couldn't tell) as you laughed.

If anyone knew one thing about Jere it was that he had definitely lost more than a few bets while gambling - thus earning him the nickname Käärijä.

So, he took another shot and everyone cracked up. "Yes yes, I am Käärijä, you know!"

"Are you?!" you and Bojan spoke at the same time, making you both look at each other and giggle like little kids.

Seeing this round was getting slightly boring and you weren't finding out more about Bojan, you had a trick up your sleeve.

"Never have I ever...kissed two different guys in one night?"

Oh, he must have been doing this on purpose.

"I mean this could mean guys or girls,"

Ha. Nice save. Yet it was too late, because your leg slowly raised, your heel slightly grazing his trouser leg. Maybe it was the alcohol or maybe it wasn't.

He locked eyes with you. Almost a glare. Almost a smirk. Almost letting it on to the others that something happened between you two.

Seemingly not getting the juicy answers they wanted, or they already knew them, they had moved on to a different question. Something about weird dreams Jan riding a turtle. Neither of you was paying attention. Why would you when your heel was grazing his leg so tenderly yet so teasingly?

His hands rolled into fists as he tried not to act on whatever thoughts he was having. You couldn't. So you smirked, pleased that you were at least embarrassing him a little like he was with the questions.

However, that question earlier about fucking in a public place was beginning to sound like a joke.

****

A hell of a lot more drinks later and all of you were most certainly drunk...

It happened to be Jere's turn at asking again. He started at the phone momentarily before speaking. "Eh, are you?!" his words slurred slightly as he started giggling. Bojan wheeze out a laugh, jolting his body against the seat as he laughed, leaning into Jere.

You were all in that drunk state where you didn't even know what you were saying and anything and everything became funny.

A waiter came over and said the bar would be closing soon, earning a bunch of boos from the group. 'Good thing restlessness was common amongst the group now.

"Time to go back to the hotel then," Kris began but Bojan interrupted.

"Guys, we're Joker Out, we love to party, hm?!" He quirked an eyebrow, shakily raising up his glass. Everyone glanced at each other momentarily, trying to see if you all agreed.

"It's crazy, it's party!" Jere excitedly approved and as if on cue everyone became equally as excited, cheering and clinking their drinks together one final time and getting up from their seats, making their way to a nearby nightclub Jan suggested.

You trotted along behind but ultimately decided not to go. "I'm sorry I'm just really tired!" You slurred your words, much to their disapproval.

"It's not like you to decline a party," Jere urged, drunkenly slinging his arm around your shoulder, knowing you wouldn't take it seriously but take it as a result of him caring about you. Bojan locked eyes with you again, for the first time since the heel teasing earlier. But you ignored him.

Instead, you opt not to have a sauna sequel. You smile and decline again, explaining that the hotel is just down the road, and saying your goodbyes.

"She's been acting weird lately..." You heard one of them say but you kept on walking to the hotel.

****

The second you plopped down onto your bed, having not even bothered to change clothes, you fell fast asleep. The alcohol in your system clearly wore you out.

An hour later, you jolt awake. You carefully lie back down, wondering what woke you up. You keep your phone on silent so it can't be that. A knock on your door catches your attention. Maybe it was that. Though, you really would have preferred not seeing anyone right now. Maybe a mass murderer is going around knocking on innocent women's doors. And maybe Bojan would save you.

Wait. Did you just say Bojan?

You decide to check your phone. Something compels you to check it. Groggily rubbing your tired eyes the phone light flashes, burning them slightly. Through your dazed vision, you see a dozen texts from none other than Bojan. Huh.

1:05 am: Käärijä is kalsarikännit rn, but not at home. what do u even call that?

1:17 am: *4 missed Facetime calls*

TISSIT

1:20 am: send nudes

1:26 am: HELP. THAT WAS JERE.

1:32 am: HE THREW UP

1:45 am: HE FAINTED LMFAO

1:58 am: hE'S SO HEAVY

But two, in particular, caught your eye...

2:35 am: WE'RE LOCKED OUT OF THE ROOM

2:40 am: SOS

Oh, great.

****

A/N: Definitions:

Tuhma = naughty

Kalsarikännit = getting drunk in your underwear at home

Tissit = tits

I heard that Glögi was his fave drink so I had to mention it :)

Please reblog if you enjoyed reading :)

[pixelatedq]

I feel like Joker would be friends with Tuxedo Mask

Send post.

[unhingedthirst]

Y’all I’m sick. I wanna write something.

Pls request something!! I’m begging and screaming

See my pinned post for what I write

[knightofsuperior]

Betrayal Is a Street with Multiple Exits, But I Still Think We Got off on the Wrong One Somehow

Fandom: Persona 5

Summary:

Everyone's a traitor. Some have better reasons than others.

Read the fic here and check out an excerpt/my thoughts below!

Excerpt:

Next, he looked down at the... cat-thing? “What’s your name again? Mordred?” “My codename is Mona!” The creature snapped, stomping its little feet. “You should know this by now!” “Right, right.” He stared down for a moment, before sighing. “I don't even know where to start with you. To be honest, I just presumed you were some kind of evil mascot that granted the power of Persona, only to let it utterly and completely absorb the users.” Mona balked, utter mortification on his… face? Mascot mask? He wasn’t quite sure. “Where in the world would you get that idea?!” “Anime,” came the unprompted response from Ren. “Probably a Featherman episode,” Makoto added. Futaba, still sniffling, piped up. “Y-yeah, Featherman R, Episode Fourteen.” “It was fifteen, you little—”

Author's Note: Keeping this one brief to avoid spoilers for the few folks who might not be aware of endgame vanilla P5 plot beats--but this one was inspired by a pitch I gave for a zine app that ended up being rejected. No harm, no foul--I had a fun time on this one.

[stardancerluv]

Thought this could be fun.

[sparkles-oflight]

Conspiracy theories

Small angsty Jance short story (around 1k words or something) that have been meaning to write for a while now. Btw, as I wrote this I was like "shit this is too similar to Rio's inertia" 💀

Disclaimer: Please think of these as characters and not the actual people. I don't encourage anyone to send this to any of the actual JO members nor do I encourage people to force any type of relationship between anyone.

As the tall and slim man Jan messed around with his guitar, he thought about his little kitten back at home.

It has been now two months since they arrived to London and Jan couldn't wait for the opportunity to go back to his beloved pet. He knew his family would take good care of him, but, to him, Igor was like a son and he could not not think about him.

- How are you feeling, man? - another tall man showed up to his room and sat next to him. Jan couldn't help but to look at the man who placed his hand on his shoulder...Jan wanted to analyze each of his tattoos and intertwined his fingers on this man's.

He didn't reply though. He just shrugged.

- Thinking about Igor again? - and once more, Jan just shrugged - Look, I'm sure he's fine and if you really want we could always call your home to see how's doing.

- Ah... - Jan stretched his whole body and smiled - I know he's doing great.

Jan let his head rest on Nace's shoulder...then his chest. It was nice hearing his heartbeat. It calmed him down.

- Where are the others? - Jan asked curiously.

- Grocery shopping.

- Really? How come you didn't go?

- Kris is trying to make them more organized and helpful and that they "need to stop relying" on me.

- Fair.

Jan rested there for a while longer...but he felt as if Nace's heartbeat was accelerating.

- What are you thinking about? - the guitar player looked up at him

- Olie. - Jan could tell that was a lie.

Truth be told, Jan could guess what it was...Nace had told him a couple of times that he hasn't been so close with someone since he was with his ex.

It's one thing when they are on stage and they try to please the fans with conspiracy theories. It's another thing entirely when the two of them are alone...who are they trying to please?

Maybe it's themselves. That's what Jan believed in.

- Can I ask you something? - Nace lifted the guitarist's chin to look him in the eyes.

But as they looked, neither said anything. Instead they only looked at each other's eyes. Maybe hungry...? But for each other?

Nace was trying to find something there...a support. Jan was thinking about their first meeting...

It took him a while to accept him into the group but during Eurovision things between them got so much better...and that's how this situation came to be.

Jan really really wanted something with Nace... and maybe, right it's time to take another step forward.

Jan got closer... close enough so that their lips touched.

But then he felt hands on his chest...telling him to stop.

- Sorry. - the younger one was at a loss for words.

- Don't be. I... - It seemed like the bass player was just as confused.

- I didn't know you were straight. I really thought -

- My sexuality is not what's a stake. I don't like labels. - he put his hand on his lips - It's just...maybe I gave you mixed signals? I thought we were just doing it for the bit.

- Yeah...the bit. - Jan was clenching his jaw - You know what also is a part of "the bit"? How you touch me when no one else is around! How you let me invade your personal space! How you let me be vulnerable next to you! How you seem to care about every little thing I say! I really thought-!

- I was just being nice! - Nace got up.

- Nice is different from leading someone on for "the bit". - Jan also got up.

- Jan-

- DON'T "Jan" ME. Nace... I'm hurt.

Jan knew he was in the wrong for feeling like Nace owned him any sort of romantic feelings, and he knew that assuming his sexuality was also a shitty thing to do. But he was hurt...both at Nace and at himself for letting him invest - for letting him believe something so stupid could be a reality.

Nace on the other hand...

He grabbed Jan and kissed him strongly on his lips.

- IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT!? - he asked...more than nervous or angry, he was frustrated because he didn't know what to do... - Did you even feel anything about it!?

Jan decided to step forward again and kiss him just as violently, which lead to both and Nace to exploring each other's mouths in a moment of anger... The slimmer one someone managed to make the older one fall onto the bed. As they both grabbed each other's hair and clothes...they couldn't tell if they were angry or lusting over each other.

But they kept it going. Even if they both knew it was wrong. What good could come from angry sex between two people on the same band? Of two people who will have to stick together for a couple of more months at least...

- Is this what you wanted? - Nace asked after they were done.

- Nace... - Jan was at a loss of words - I like you...a lot.

- Great, I hope you liked this a lot then. - He replied in irony.

- I'm sorry for...

- Implying my sexuality?

- Yeah, but you didn't need to prove it to me.

- I'm not, thank you. - he placed his hand on his forehead - Jan...I was still thinking of my ex. The way we broke up was...abrupt. And I also don't want to lie to you...The reason I let you on was because I-I thought I liked you too!

- And now?

- Now...I don't know! It seems like you are forcing me to figure out my feelings more than anything. Jan - he looked at the younger one - Please never pull that shit again. I know I was shitty but for fuck sake don't make anyone feel bad about not sharing the same feelings as you!

Jan stopped to listen to Nace...he really was childish. He was really wished he never hurt Nace this way...but...how could someone who he loved hurt him? And how come he hurt someone he loved?

- Is anyone home? - Jure yelled from the entrance.

♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩♫♩

Afternote: I love myself some morally grey characters 🩶

MASTER POST | Recommended next: Conspiracy Theories (Alternative Ending)

[rose-and-thorn-fanfics]

THE DARK KNIGHT FANFIC: Joker x OC (Part 7)

Lottie stood outside Wayne Tower, clutching her purse and anticipating the arrival of Rachel Dawes. A taxi cab pulled up, and the passenger door opened. A tall brunette in a tailored grey suit stepped out, smiling at Lottie. Lottie mirrored her smile, giving Rachel Dawes a hug, and sliding back into the car with her.

"So glad to meet you again!" Rachel said, her eyes shining. Lottie could see why Bruce was so attracted to her.

"Yeah! This is cool!" Lottie replied. "I've heard so much about you from Bruce."

Rachel nodded, looking away and changing the subject. "So, we haven't talked in a while. What's been going on with you? Anything fun happening at Gotham University? Any boyfriends... girlfriends...?"

"A little of both." Lottie replied, trying not to appear anxious. "Actually, the girl we're picking up downtown is my girlfriend. Her name is Maya."

"Oh? And does she get along with your boyfriend? I've heard those types of relationships are complicated to manage. You must be a busy girl!" Rachel said playfully.

Lottie laughed, nervous. "They've never met. But yeah, it is complicated."

"And they're both students from Gotham University?" You know, that's a very prestigious school. I used to go there." Miss Dawes added.

Lottie glanced out the window, watching as they passed the Gotham Empire News building. She looked back at Rachel. "I feel like you've been asking me a lot of questions. I'd love to hear a little about you!" Lottie said sweetly. 'Nosy bitch,' She thought.

Rachel studied Lottie's face for a second, then sighed. "I guess that's only fair. I admit, I was asking all those questions because a friend of mine, Lieutenant Gordon, explained to me the strange circumstances of your parents abduction. This city is full of untrustworthy people. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here. I'm sure Bruce feels the same."

Lottie felt her heart sink. "Lieutenant Gordon thinks I'm a suspect, doesn't he?"

"Well," Rachel said, placing her hand on Lottie's shoulder, "not exactly. He thinks maybe you got involved unknowingly with the wrong people. Your name was written in fire on the Lau Industries building."

Lottie felt her stomach turn to lead. She had to think fast or she'd appear suspicious. Lottie summoned tears and put on an act of crying from being overwhelmed. "I just don't feel safe, you know? I'm j-just so scared!"

Rachel squeezed her hand, completely buying the petite girl's performance. "I'm so sorry. I really didn't mean to upset you."

"I hate to interrupt, but we're here." The cab driver said, stopping the car in front of Maya's apartment building.

Maya ran up to the car, and opened the door and cramming into the only empty seat next to Lottie. "Oh my god, Lottie, you're crying? Who made you cry." She said, turning angrily to the cab driver. "Was it you?"

"No!" Lottie interjected quickly. "No, I'm just... extremely sensitive these days. It's nobody's fault."

Maya relaxed a bit. "Oh, ok. Well, hopefully this shopping trip will be enough to cheer you up!"

The girls arrived shortly after at one of Gotham's fanciest streets, 3rd Avenue, known for its exquisite selection of clothing stores (everything from Miu Miu to Chanel). Rachel informed Lottie while they were shopping that tomorrow night Bruce was hosting a formal fundraiser at the penthouse for Harvey Dent, and that they'd both need to find something nice to wear. Lottie browsed rack after rack of dresses, looking for anything stylish and low cut. Her goal was to bring shame and dishonor on her recently deceased parent's reputation in front of the high society of Gotham. Finally, she settled on the most expensive and revealing dark red dress she could find.

Maya laughed when she saw what Lottie had decided to wear. "You really want to make an impression, don't you?" She couldn't stop giggling. "I only wish I could come as your date. I'd love to see the shocked faces of the other guests!"

Lottie smirked. She leaned in close to Maya so Rachel couldn't hear. "You can always hack the camera and security system if you really want to witness the spectacle. I know you're good at that sort of thing..."

Maya grinned, obviously a fan of that idea. Rachel came out of the dressing room, showing the girls the dress she had picked for the party. Lottie showered her with compliments, and used the black card Bruce had given her to pay for their dresses. After shopping at many more stores, Rachel hailed a cab and they rode back to Maya's house, dropping her off, and then to Wayne Tower, saying their goodbyes. Lottie rushed to the elevator. Shopping had taken all day and it was late evening. If she wanted to get downtown for her shift at the Thrills strip club, she'd have to change quickly, especially if she didn't want to get caught.

[calmasyoghurt]

I'm going to pretend that the fic that's been laying around in my notes app for months is going to be done before the summer but then never touch it again when this week is over. If anyone asks me about its content I might say its existence was an April fools joke.