#the rest of the paragraph is like actually normal things for people back then to believe about fetuses and conception

[endusviolence]

Rowling isn't denying holocaust. She just pointed out that burning of transgender health books is a lie as that form of cosmetic surgery didn't exist. But of course you knew that already, didn't you?

I was thinking I'd probably see one of you! You're wrong :) Let's review the history a bit, shall we?

In this case, what we're talking about is the Institut für Sexualwissenschaft, or in English, The Institute of Sexology. This Institute was founded and headed by a gay Jewish sexologist named Magnus Hirschfeld. It was founded in July of 1919 as the first sexology research clinic in the world, and was run as a private, non-profit clinic. Hirschfeld and the researchers who worked there would give out consultations, medical advice, and even treatments for free to their poorer clientele, as well as give thousands of lectures and build a unique library full of books on gender, sexuality, and eroticism. Of course, being a gay man, Hirschfeld focused a lot on the gay community and proving that homosexuality was natural and could not be "cured".

Hirschfeld was unique in his time because he believed that nobody's gender was either one or the other. Rather, he contended that everyone is a mixture of both male and female, with every individual having their own unique mix of traits.

This leads into the Institute's work with transgender patients. Hirschfeld was actually the one to coin the term "transsexual" in 1923, though this word didn't become popular phrasing until 30 years later when Harry Benjamin began expanding his research (I'll just be shortening it to trans for this brief overview.) For the Institute, their revolutionary work with gay men eventually began to attract other members of the LGBTA+, including of course trans people.

Contrary to what Anon says, sex reassignment surgery was first tested in 1912. It'd already being used on humans throughout Europe during the 1920's by the time a doctor at the Institute named Ludwig Levy-Lenz began performing it on patients in 1931. Hirschfeld was at first opposed, but he came around quickly because it lowered the rate of suicide among their trans patients. Not only was reassignment performed at the Institute, but both facial feminization and facial masculization surgery were also done.

The Institute employed some of these patients, gave them therapy to help with other issues, even gave some of the mentioned surgeries for free to this who could not afford it! They spoke out on their behalf to the public, even getting Berlin police to help them create "transvestite passes" to allow people to dress however they wanted without the threat of being arrested. They worked together to fight the law, including trying to strike down Paragraph 175, which made it illegal to be homosexual. The picture below is from their holiday party, Magnus Hirschfeld being the gentleman on the right with the fabulous mustache. Many of the other people in this photo are transgender.

[Image ID: A black and white photo of a group of people. Some are smiling at the camera, others have serious expressions. Either way, they all seem to be happy. On the right side, an older gentleman in glasses- Magnus Hirschfeld- is sitting. He has short hair and a bushy mustache. He is resting one hand on the shoulder of the person in front of him. His other hand is being held by a person to his left. Another person to his right is holding his shoulder.]

There was always push back against the Institute, especially from conservatives who saw all of this as a bad thing. But conservatism can't stop progress without destroying it. They weren't willing to go that far for a good while. It all ended in March of 1933, when a new Chancellor was elected. The Nazis did not like homosexuals for several reasons. Chief among them, we break the boundaries of "normal" society. Shortly after the election, on May 6th, the book burnings began. The Jewish, gay, and obviously liberal Magnus Hirschfeld and his library of boundary-breaking literature was one of the very first targets. Thankfully, Hirschfeld was spared by virtue of being in Paris at the time (he would die in 1935, before the Nazis were able to invade France). His library wasn't so lucky.

This famous picture of the book burnings was taken after the Institute of Sexology had been raided. That's their books. Literature on so much about sexuality, eroticism, and gender, yes including their new work on trans people. This is the trans community's Alexandria. We're incredibly lucky that enough of it survived for Harry Benjamin and everyone who came after him was able to build on the Institute's work.

[Image ID: A black and white photo of the May Nazi book burning of the Institute of Sexology's library. A soldier, back facing the camera, is throwing a stack of books into the fire. In the background of the right side, a crowd is watching.]

As the Holocaust went on, the homosexuals of Germany became a targeted group. This did include transgender people, no matter what you say. To deny this reality is Holocaust denial. JK Rowling and everyone else who tries to pretend like this isn't reality is participating in that evil. You're agreeing with the Nazis.

But of course, you knew that already, didn't you?

Edit: Added image IDs. I apologize to those using screen readers for forgetting them. Please reblog this version instead.

[chuusmuts]

imagine innocent!kabukimono being needy

smut(?) afab reader (mentioned of tight walls), needy kabukimono, male masturbation, corruption (kabukimono).not proofread.

you can see this as part two of kabukimono finding out you lactate (where he found out about sex/ read a book about it) or another version of innocent kabukimono going wild. kinda want to make this a series, ngl.

when he opened the door to your room, he expected you to be in your room, but he was greeted with silence. he suddenly hit the realization that you were supposedly out to buy some grocery. this scent in your room, it's your scent. he missed it so much, he missed your scent, he missed you. you were just here a few minutes ago, how could he has had miss you so bad already?

he sighed, realising you would be gone for a while. he hated when you were away, even if it was only for a little bit. he needed you here with him, always. he sat down on the floor near the door, resting his head against it. his heart raced at the thought of being alone, it reminded him when he was being thrown away. he wanted to be with you, hold you, touch you, kiss you. but most importantly, he wanted to be held by you. he didn't know what else to do but wait for you to come back home. he tried to calm himself down, he couldn't let his emotions control him.

his eyes roamed all over your room as he missed your presence, and eventually, his gaze fell on a book beside your bed. out of curiosity, he got up and took a look at the book. a book about... oral and sex? what even is that? he'd never heard of it. the cover of the book was very erotic, it's a picture of a man pounding himself into a woman's pussy. since he was an innocent puppet, he was clueless about all of this, but at the same time, he felt like getting to know about this thing called 'oral' and 'sex'.

kabukimono looked at the book with his eyes widened in confusion. he had no idea what oral and sex meant, he didn't even know what a vagina was. out of curiousity, he grabbed the book and flipped through it, feeling both intrigued and uncomfortable. he felt his face heat up as he read through the pages, it was all just too much for him to handle. he started to feel nervous, unsure of whether he should keep reading or not. nevertheless, he continued to read, trying to make sense of everything he saw and read as he was still puzzle about it.

ultimately, he stopped at a page whereas the top of it was written 'how to pleasure yourself when you're missing them'. wasn't that... what he's feeling right now? he missed you so much he felt like dying. but the question was, what's this thing called 'pleasure'? he read this thing so-called masturbation and as he read further, he began to feel a stirring in his lower region. this was all so new to him, yet he found himself wanting to learn more, his inquisitiveness got the better out of him. he had no idea where he was going with this, but he felt like he needed to do something, something toward his cock. should he follow the instructions and actually try to do it?

his hands trembled as he read the next paragraph, which explained how to perform a self-handjob. he felt his cheeks turn red as he read as he felt embarrassed and nervous. he wondered if it was normal for people to masturbate. the fact that he was reading and thinking about doing it made him feel dirty, but he wanted to know if it would really make him feel better or if it would help him forget about his loneliness. glancing down at his crotch, he saw how his cock was starting to become erect. this was all so strange and foreign to him since he'd never experienced this, but he decided to give it a shot. he took off his boxer and noticed the tip of it was already leaking with precum; a clear, colorless, viscous fluid that is emitted from the urethra of the penis during sexual arousal, was what it was written in the book. placing one hand on his cock, he gently stroked it, trying to figure out what exactly he was supposed to do.

step one, find your stroke. it said in the book, to get things started, use your hand to find a rhythm you love. and so, he continued stroking his cock in a slow pace. the longer he stroked it, the more he felt like groaning as his breathing got heavy. he must has had found the rhythm he loved. as he masturbated himself, his gaze fell on your picture that was hanging on the wall, and it only aroused him more. his heart pounded even faster as he unconsciously started to call out your name, groaning and moaning. it felt so good, so amazing that he began to visualize you were the one who was giving him the handjob. he imagined your voice, your soft touch, your gentle caresses, and the way you'd look at him with your cute and gentle smile.

the sensation was incredible, unlike anything he'd ever experienced. he felt like he was melting inside as his body shivered with pleasure. he kept stroking faster and harder, not realizing how much he was moving his hips and how loud he was becoming. the sound of his voice filled with need and desire grew louder and louder, filling the silent room. he called out your name, begging for you to return and hold him, to touch him, to make him feel good. he was lost in the moment, completely unaware of the world around him. he was only focused on the pleasure he was feeling and the fact that he needed you to be there with him.

he continued to follow the instructions as he next rubbed and squeezed his balls. they were (not) surprisingly very sensitive to him and packed with nerve endings. he rubbed them gently with one hand while the other maintained a stroke on his penis. at last, he placed the book aside when he felt he could masturbate himself without guidance.

at one point, he could barely breathe properly, and his whole body tense and started shaking. "ngh... ah... y/n..." he threw his head back and opened his mouth wide as he kept moaning, tears welling up in his eyes, feeling the urge to cum. "need you so bad... i miss y– ngh..." his bangs sticked to his forehead and his neck was shining, glistening as a bead of sweat rolled down while he speeded up the pace and kept squeezing his balls. "w– wanna fuck you... fuck..."

he could feel the muscles in his pelvis tighten and contract as he neared his climax. his cock throbbed and pulsed against his palm, the sensations growing stronger and more intense. he could feel his entire body shake as a stream of precum dripped down the length of his cock. his breathing became ragged and uneven, and his heart raced as he struggled to maintain control. he couldn't hold it in anymore, and finally, he screamed your name, his voice echoing throughout the room, his body convulsing and twitching. he came hard, his cock pulsing and spurting with a hot, sticky fluid.

the hot liquid dripped from his tip onto his thighs, pooling the sheet beneath him. the feeling of cumming was so good, but it wasn't nowhere near enough. oh, how he badly wished it was you who made him cum. he collapsed on the bed, smelling your sweet scent, and all he could think was having your tight walls around his cock as he fuck you dumb. he couldn't wait till you come back to relieve his needs.

[spooky-scary-scarecrow]

"You have beautiful eyes."

(So, I've been skimming Tumblr and haven't found any goddamn Cooper Howard fics that involve how pretty his damn eyes are. Only a handful of people actually mentioned it - babyghoul still has his luscious eyelashes. So since nobody has written a fic of it, I put it in my hands >:] Enjoy!)

Warnings: Mild nudity, mentions of after-sex, cuddling, complimenting, tooth-rotting fluff, a teeny of lore-building in the first few paragraphs

It was a quiet evening, the both of you laying on an old mattress you had found that was surprisingly intact enough to not have a spring digging into your back. The night was elongated from the actions that happened merely moments ago, labored breath between the both of you still filling your ears.

Turning to face Cooper, your eyes roamed his scarred body. A lean frame with muscle, not too much yet not too little. Just enough to show off how strong he can be. You both met only months ago. It was supposed to be just him killing a bounty for you and you'd pay him in caps and viles. Though after the next few bounties, you grew on him and decided to tag along with his journeys. It was like the longer you were both exposed to each other, the more you fell. Ending up in this situation many times before. Quick, easy, just to relieve stress.

Until now. You took the time to observe him. Observe his scars and muscles and callouses as he laid on his back, arms behind his head as his eyes were closed for the moment. You let your gaze drift up to his face - the normally hardened expression softening.

"I can feel you starin'," he spoke after a moment, making your cheeks flush red as you look away.

"Sorry, I just never seen you so... relaxed," you mumbled sheepishly with a chuckle.

A soft hum left him, his arm wrapping around your shoulder and pulling you in without warning. This was rare, the physical touch. Affectionate. Slowly, you rest your head on his chest, hearing the faint beat of his rotten heart and the rasp of his lungs as he breathed.

A moment passed before you looked back up at him, capturing his gaze with your own. Suddenly, you noticed something you never noticed.

His eyes. You never studied them because of how much movement he made - or there just wasn't any time. You would have thought that his lashes would have been gone along with his other body hair but no. They were still there. Rather thick and long. Framing the hazel orbs of his. Making them stand out.

They seemed almost a rich, deep gold and green at the moment because of the lighting - only the dim flame of the oil lamp on the ground beside the mattress lighting the area.

They were beautiful.

"I never noticed your eyes," you blurted, your gaze lingering on his. You could just see the shift of emotion in them - they were so expressive. More expressive than you expected. It showed he was still a man - still human - even if he did turn into the being he is now.

"Is that a compliment, darlin'?" he mused, raising a hairless brow.

You pondered. Maybe it was. Maybe you should say the things about them that were stuffed in the back of your brain.

"Yes," you answered after a beat. "I'd say more about them if I could put it into words."

He was the one to break the eye-contact, leaning his head back. You didn't speak again, afraid you might have hit a soft spot in the man. But you could see the corners of his lips twitch, his roughened fingertips tracing imaginary shapes on your bicep as he gazed up at the ceiling, through the holes in the roof.

"I never paid attention," you continued with little hesitancy. "Of your eyes, I mean. I always thought all Ghouls had fully black eyes."

A grunt in response. You can take that. The silence fell between the both of you once more. With a heavy exhale, he pulled you closer until your body pressed firmly into his side. A subtle gesture. A silent thank you.

Maybe you should pay attention to him more often.

Thank you for reading! Give me a message if you want to request any prompts for our cowboy ghoul here :D

[squarebracket-trickster]

Okay, sometimes advice that is good for a first draft does not work for later drafts.

Like, these are all things people have directly told me when I was talking about problems I was having in my 2nd and 3rd drafts.

Don't edit as you go. The whole point of later drafts is to make edits to the first draft...

You're spending too much time on this one section. Leave it and come back later. I uhhh... I did leave it. I left it and wrote my whole novel multiple times without touching it. Now is later.

Take a break. The inspiration will come. Actually, I don't need inspiration. I have written this entire novel multiple times. I think I have enough inspiration by now. What I need to do is problem solve. That means actively thinking about it, isolating the problem, brainstorming, and trying things. If I waited for inspiration I could be waiting years.

If you are struggling with the POV try changing it. Great advice if you can't seem to finish your first draft. Not so great if you have finished your novel and are just stuck editing a couple of paragraphs. Troubleshooting those paragraphs may take a while but I promise it is less work than rewriting the entire novel in a different POV. Besides, different stories work best in different POVs.

It doesn't have to be perfect. Yeah, uhhh, again, ever heard of the editing stage? Like okay, there are such things as impossible standards, but identifying a problem and trying to fix it is like, a normal part of writing...

Don't ever delete your writing. How else am I supposed to make cuts and edits??? I promise, my first draft (where I deleted nothing) is an untouched file saved in three different places and when I make edits I copy and paste sections into a new document. It's not gone forever. But be realistic. Most of that word vomit is not going to make it into the final manuscript. Believe it or not you do have to kill a few darlings in order for a book to be its best self.

Just write the dialogue. So uhhh... all the dialogue is already written. That's what a first draft is for. Maybe good advice for rewrites but uhhh... there does come a point when you have to write the rest of it.

And yeah...

Sometimes the only way out is through. Sometimes problem solving requires beating life into a dead horse. Sometimes inspiration isn't enough. Sometimes its not just okay but necessary to admit something isn't perfect and that it needs fixing. Sometimes its okay to struggle and be frustrated and that doesn't mean you should take a break. Sometimes there isn't a quick hack, change one thing, that will fix the problem. Sometimes writing is hard and there is no way around it. Takes breaks when you are tired yes, but if you're stuck for too long, I'm sorry but at some point you're going to have to face the problem and get yourself unstuck. You can't keep waiting for the problem to fix itself. It's not going to be fun though.

[biscuitboba]

Not to be crazy about luffy (and zoro) again, but i actually can't stop thinking about luffy and the way he values the people that he holds dear? I think that the more luffy loves someone, the greater the support and respect he will give to the person's ambition.

Remember how a person's dream or ambition is a very integral part of one piece? Thinking about how luffy is probably the person who respects zoro's dream the most (and ofc vice versa cuz THRILLER BARK!) And i just can't-

With luffy we all know that he doesn't really mind dying if it means he's in the process of fighting for his dream, so with the whole zoro vs mihawk fight, luffy of course can only support (from afar) and watch his first mate fight the fearsome warlord.

No matter how much he worries for zoro's life, he just can't get in the way of zoro's dream. He knows that better than anyone not to get in the way of someone else's dream. And their deal (back in shells town) only strengthens luffy's resolve to let zoro face mihawk and not get in his way.

Luffy's concern for zoro is very palpable, but despite this, he stops johnny and yosaku from interfering, making sure that no one gets in the way of zoro's fight. That just proves how much luffy respects his first mate's dream. Like you can see that he is cleary frustrated, clenching his jaw, he is doing everything in his power not to approach his first mate and interfere. But after mihawk slashed his first mate, luffy literally lost it, and well... we all know the rest (he had to intervene)

Im sorry but god, zoro vows to never lose again, him pointing at the sky with his sword as he shouts his words... and of course the iconic moment where for the first time someone calls luffy by his future title, im not normal about it

Also mihawk acknowledging luffy and zoro's compatibility right away will always gets me, cuz honestly dracule mihawk, how???

Real talk, but what i love about zoro and luffy's relationship is how they acknowledge each other's strength. They always say things like "he is strong, he got this", "there's no way he is going to lose", "he will be fine", "it's him, no need to worry", et cetera... Like they have so much trust in each other's strength, that oftentimes they don't even feel the need to worry about the other person, because they are confident with each other's abilities.

But on the other side, sometimes (by sometimes i actually mean quite a lot) they can't help but to feel worried for each other. Especially when the other person gets hurt or attacked right in front of one of them. The worry intensifies when one of them faces a tough opponent or acts rather recklessly. And i think about that a lot.

Ok so, returning to the discussion in my first paragraph, about how luffy will always respect the ambition/dream of his loved ones. Especially if the person is strong, he will really respect that person's strength. A very clear example for this one is after leaving thriller bark and finding out something is wrong with ace's vivre card. The crew asks luffy about whether he wants to go after his brother or not, luffy replies:

Like we all know about how much luffy likes to brag about his brother's strength and also how much he loves ace. But exactly because of that.. luffy chose not to go after his brother at that time.

Now, not to make everything about zolu (who am i kidding? I actually will always make everything about zolu), but thinking about the way luffy put his trust in zoro to fight for his own dream in baratie, and the way luffy feels confident enough to fall asleep for a minute during the fight with big mama and kaido... because he trusts that his powerful first mate will be able to take care of himself, but more importantly, luffy trusts his first mate to keep him safe from danger. In this not essay i will-

[anim-ttrpgs]

Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy Playable Monster Popularity Contest

Alright the Kickstarter is launching on April 10th which at the time of writing this is in 2 days. The Kickstarter trailer for Eureka is going to be uploaded tonight or tomorrow, but it is still my job to do as much promotion as possible even though I am worried I might be running out of ideas. I still gotta post.

Let’s just have a Eureka playable monster popularity contest.

The vampire is not exactly your 20th and 21st century Hollywood vampire. They dont have super speed, don’t hypnotise people or make them thralls, and don’t instantly die when exposed to sunlight—though they are significantly weakened by it. The Vampire in Eureka is more of a 19th century and earlier folkloric vampire, with all the powers and weaknesses that come with that, including a compulsion to count things, an inability to enter homes uninvited, turning into a bat or other creatures, walking on sheer walls, etc. The vampire has almost no way of restoring their Composure except by drinking human blood, which means they will need to go on the prowl pretty often. Luckily, they never need to eat or sleep. They are also super strong, super stealthy, and resistant to all forms of physical damage—and they can only be killed permanently by ritual means.

The wolfman shares a lot of features with the vampire, such as super strength and resistance to all physical damage, and this is because they are a Hollywood wolfman. They can regain a little Composure through normal means, but if it ever runs out, they will transform involuntarily and go berserk. This is one of my favorite things about them honestly, and I can’t wait to see it actually happen in play. They’ll also involuntarily transform if they are exposed to the full moon, but that’s a lot more situational.

The witch is up next, and for all intents and purposes, they are pretty much a normal human, except for the ability to command curses and a variety of powerful spells. These curses can render victims violently ill, put them to sleep, turn them to stone, turn them into an animal, or reduce them in size. While witches can restore their Composure just as well as a mundane human, they can also do it by eating people, and the Composure drain of using their supernatural powers is much faster and harsher than any other monster. Oh, and one of my favorite things is that they can ride around on a broomstick or other flying vehicle.

The fairy is shares the ability to cast the same curses as the witch, and, optionally, the same spells, but they are also supernaturally charming, with a few other abilities unique to them. They cannot tell lies, but they can sure steal people’s names and other aspects of their identities, and/or spirit them away to the fairy world. Another interesting thing about them is that their Wealth skill gets a boost from being a fairy, and unlike anyone else, their Wealth skill can actually be capped by Composure just like any other skill.

Then finally the Thing from Beyond, which I will be abbreviating to TFB for the rest of this paragraph. The TFB is the most unique monster in the lineup, a large flat blanket of skin and teeth that can fold up into a human shape to interact with society. They can change the color, shape, and texture of their skin to mimic anyone they’ve studied long enough, right down to the outfit. Unlike other monsters, who get their Composure back one bit and victim at a time, TFBs engulf one person whole and slowly digest them over the course of a week, recovering 1 point of Composure each day. They can even have a body inside their human-shaped disguise and you wouldn’t even notice!

You can find out a lot more about these creatures and their powers by downloading the free Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy demo from our website and going to Chapter 8!

The vampire is really strong in combat and stealth, with a lot of powers to draw from, but is handicapped by far the most weaknesses.

The wolfman is a good combat powerhouse that isn’t quite a strong as the vampire in most cases, but doesn’t have to deal with as many weaknesses. Watch out though, if things get too intense, they could completely lose control of themselves and end up eating someone they weren’t supposed to!

The fairy is more a “face” character, with more tools at their disposal for convincing people to cooperate with them than ability to use force, though curses do definitely fall under “use of force”, I suppose.

The witch is just a good all-rounder, with something for every situation, though it might not always be the *best* something.

The TFB is very good for stealth as well, but a different kind of stealth. The vampire is good for a more Solid Snake or Sam Fisher kind of stealth, while the TFB is more Agent 47’s style of stealth.

There’s also two honorable mentions I’d like to include because they’re Kickstarter stretch goals and thus not really fully fleshed out yet.

The dullahan is a headless specter from Irish folklore that feeds on death. We haven’t really figured out exactly how to make this work mechanically yet, but that’s because we haven’t hit that stretch goal yet.

The gorgon is the last written stretch goal, and maybe the one I’m most excited for. They turn people to stone by looking them in the eye, and this is such an awesome blessing and curse to work around during gameplay that I really really want the excuse to implement it. They also may eat have snakes in their hair up to player choice, and eat people whole with mechanics sorta similar the way the TFB works, we aren’t quite sure because until we hit those stretch goals they just exist as a bunch of scattered notes and ideas. I gotta count on y’all to make sure we hit those stretch goals.

There is also a potential for the option to play a talking dog or a living doll, which will also be stretch goals if we can swing it.

Remember also, all of these will be playable as PCs, so they could be your enemy, or your ally.

Now that aaalllll that is out of the way..

Now, if you really want to support me and my team specifically Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy, our debut TTRPG, is going to launch on Kickstarter on April 10th and we need all the help we can get. Set a reminder from the Kickstarter page through this link.

If you’re interested in a more updated and improved version of Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy than the free demo you got from our website, there’s plenty of ways to get one!

Subscribe to our Patreon where we frequently roll our new updates for the prerelease version!

Donate to our ko-fi and send us an email with proof that you did, and we’ll email you back with the full Eureka prerelease package with the most updated version at the time of responding! (The email address can be found if you scroll down to the bottom of our website.)

We also have merchanise.

[proseka-headcanons]

i'm back on my "all three of the tenmas are agender" shit (not here i just never shut up abt them in general) aka projecting onto my favs for several paragraphs

tsukasa fully thinks that he's doing Normal Cis Men Behavior for a long time. since a very young age he's been comfortable wearing traditionally feminine clothes and doing "girly" things, and he was never bothered by people saying that he was acting like a girl or anything similar. when he meets rui in highschool rui immediately is like "hmm. trans." because some of the stuff tsukasa says sounds exactly like the stuff rui used to say to himself before he found out he was nonbinary. so after they've known each other for a while rui starts asking tsukasa if he's ever thought abt his gender identity and tsukasa's like "oh I'm definitely cis but i've never really felt like a guy specifically i don't mind being called one but i also don't mind being called a girl really it doesn't matter" and rui is like "...what." lmao. anyways so tsukasa doesn't realize until one of his other siblings comes out to him, because he does a bunch of research so that he can be a good ally and then realizes all the descriptions sound a lot like him

saki realizes pretty young that she's not like Fully Girl but she likes to do feminine things and look like a girl so she must be at least a demigirl right? wrong! as she gets older she deattaches feminine things with actually being a girl, and she realizes that other than the way she presents she doesn't really feel like a girl at all. she asks the rest of leo/need to use they/them for her for a little bit and this really cements that she's agender in her mind since she likes that a lot. she starts using she/they for simplicity since she doesn't mind she/her and she presents very feminine. tsukasa is exceedingly shocked when she comes out and toya is just like "yeah that checks out"

toya has always kind of known? he's never really felt Like A Boy in the way that his parents wanted him to, and even when he was little he hated all the fancy masculine clothing he had to wear to piano recitals or anywhere else where he had to wear like a suit. when he starts to rebel against his parents originally, he breaks out of his bubble and sees all sorts of people and learns about all sorts of queer identities but none of them really fit him and he eventually comes to the conclusion that he just doesn't have a gender without knowing the term. eventually he looks it up and gets the official label but he doesn't really "come out to" anyone except the tenmas, everyone else he just tells if they ask

saki would be like “i think you’re agender too big brother!” and tsukasa would respond with “WHAT” before going “….wait that makes sense”

[icarus-does-fall]

The actual cod fic I've been meaning to write 💪

Aka I wrote the first paragraph like... two weeks ago, then did other things and then wrote the rest of it in two hours ^_^

Anyway it's a poly fic, Ghost, Roach and Soap- it's also fluffy as hell an super sweet

Please enjoy <3

.𝆤࿙࿙࿚๋࿙࿚ ⊱♡⊰ ࿙࿚๋࿙࿚࿚𝆤..𝆤࿙࿙࿚๋࿙࿚ ⊱♡⊰ ࿙࿚๋࿙࿚࿚𝆤.

Ghost, a cold man, un-emotional, harsh, hostile, a killer. Those that saw him walking the halls moved out of his way, people walked on eggshells around him.

Simon, a warm man, a man kept hidden from everyone except a select few. One who smiled, laughed, had a home and melted at his lovers’ touches. Simon who carried in all the groceries and demanded morning cuddles even if it made him and others late.

So how did a man as harsh as Ghost, find the people that broke past his walls, to make his two sides collide?

.𝆤࿙࿙࿚๋࿙࿚ ⊱♡⊰ ࿙࿚๋࿙࿚࿚𝆤. .𝆤࿙࿙࿚๋࿙࿚ ⊱♡⊰ ࿙࿚๋࿙࿚࿚𝆤.

“MacTavish!” Price shouted, and it was in that moment Soap knew he fucked up.

Soap wasn’t stupid by any means, he was the 141s demolitions expert, a little bit of a maths genius and he knew multiple languages. Yet he was also a child at heart and he couldn’t resist the occasional prank.

“Capt'n! Is a pleasure, whit kin I do ye fur?”

Price scowled. “Ya bloody nearly blew half of the barracks, an’ now the other half is covered in glitter- What exactly were you trying to achieve there?”

“Jist a wee bit o’fun Cap’ naethin’ too serious… Ah might've gaen a bit o’erborard but naebody ‘round here seems to ken how to lighten up- ‘cept maybe Gaz an’ Roach. Place jist needed some colour is aw Cap.”

Price's scowl deepened before he simply shook his head and sighed. “You're on clean up duty till the barracks are back to normal- Ghost is supervising you and the rest of ya muppets to make sure nothing else breaks.”

“Shite- Ghost? Why can't… uh… literally anyone else keep an eye oan us? Swear that man hates our guts, he’d raither shoot us than listen tae us talk.”

At that Price let out a gruff laugh and clapped Soap on the shoulder before sending him on his way towards the rest of the so-called detention group. “That's the exact reason, Ghost will keep ya muppets in line cause I got other stuff to take care of instead of babysittin’.”

Soap merely sighed he knew there was no getting out of the punishment that Price had set up for him and the rest of the “troublemakers” on base. He marched his way towards the barracks, as he ran into Gaz, Nikolai and Alex all marching towards their doom as well.

“How’d ye lot pish off Price tae end up wae Ghost in detention?”

Nik simply rolled his eyes as Soap joined in with the little group walking towards the barracks for clean up. “It's all your fault that we’re in this mess MacTavish.”

Soap baulked, “My fault? Whit gies ye that idea?”

“Because we were helping cover your ass- And now John is pissed at me so I’ve been kicked out of bed-”

Gaz cut in before Nik could keep talking. “I'm here cause I was stupid enough to think we wouldn’t get found out, so not really on ya, its more of uh mutual screw up but still, we could’ve done better we’re stuck with fuckin Ghost of all people now… I know he's on our team ‘n all but he scares the shit out of me sometimes.”

Alex however just rolled his eyes and continued on walking, while he loved his team and the occasional chaos they all could get up to, he knew the punishment they were facing was all their faults in the same faction or another and there wasn't any true reason to argue (or blame) it all on Soap. No matter how much Nikolai wanted to simply cause Price kicked the poor guy out of bed.

Soap tsked and walked ahead of the group, slinging his arm around Gazs shoulders with a grin. “You lot worry tae much, surely a wee Ghosty can't be tae harsh.”

The rest of them exchanged glances and laughed at how optimistic Soap was, for an intelligent guy, sometimes he was kinda stupid. But of course that's what made him ever so loveable, by the lads and the ladies.

Not long after their short chat in the hall they made it to the barracks and there was Ghost, standing at the entrance clad in his uniform and mask. The group immediately sobered up and waited for Ghost to speak. He didn't. He merely grunted with a nod and made sure each of the four walked into the barracks. “Price put in charge. You lot are gonna clean, and there won't be any games- Get to it.”

The four grumbled up, picked up the brooms and dustpans that had been laid out and began to clean. Ghost leaned against a nearby wall and supervised the clean up. Soap would make an odd joke here or there causing Gaz or Alex to throw something in his direction leading Ghost to bark orders in their direction to knock it off- For the most part Nikolai kept his head down and did what he was told, merely grumbling about how it was unfair and was a rookies job, not for him.

And the four cleaned until well past dusk, other soldiers on the base working their way around them to make their way towards their beds, all casting pitiful glances in their directions as the rest of base headed off to bed. At one point even Price stopped by to collect Nik, leaving just three left to keep cleaning.

“Aye Ghost, keep them muppets on task till this place is spotless- but I am taking Nik back, beds getting lonely. Kicked ‘em out for nearly a week now.”

Ghost nodded at the order. If nothing else the man was loyal and followed orders like a well trained dog- Which Soap of course made a comment on.

“Like a dog aren't ye Ghost? Trained for on an’ aff the field are ye?”

Ghost scowled underneath his mask and in a low grumble, one that spent shivers down people's spines as he spoke. “You think you're any better ‘cause ya make noise? You're just as much of a bloody dog as I am MacTavish, so quit your yapping ‘for we muzzle ya.”

Soap flushed and chuckled nervously as he for once did as he was told and stopped talking. He went back to cleaning and Gaz and Alex exchanged semi-nervous glances, it was suddenly very tense and heated where they all stood.

At least it was until Gaz spoke up. “Sooo- If we muzzle Soap that mean he gets a leash too? Cause the pet store has these ones with bells on ‘em, got one for my cat cause I kept losing her in all the pillows back home.”

Alex laughed and shook his head, “Nah mate Soap looks more like the type of guy to wear the muzzle and still keep growling… Unless of course he’s secretly into that sort of that thing~”

Soap huffed and with his cheeks still a slight red threw his arms over the twos shoulders, turning his growl into a cheeky grin and playful wink. “Ye ken ye just have tae dae is ask if ye wanna find oot whit kinda beastie I am in bed~”

Gaz scowled playfully and lightly shoved Soap off of him with a laugh. “Yeah right, my girl would have my ass if I took you to bed Soap and we both know it- My ass and your dick would be hanging on her wall for trying to mess with her.”

Soap grinned and then poked Alex in the cheek. “Sooo whit’s that saying aboot ye then?”

Alex shook his head as he chuckled and rolled his eyes. “Yaknow for being so smart, you're a terrible flirt sometimes Soap, honestly I’ve heard my abuela do better than that and she's almost 95.”

Soap pouted and his eyes flickered towards Ghost before he laughed and shook his head, sure he was goofing off but he wasn't going to try and test his luck that much- Not while the mans already pissed off at them all anyway. He knew Ghost could have a laugh every once and a while but it was a hard achievement to get.

.𝆤࿙࿙࿚๋࿙࿚ ⊱♡⊰ ࿙࿚๋࿙࿚࿚𝆤. .𝆤࿙࿙࿚๋࿙࿚ ⊱♡⊰ ࿙࿚๋࿙࿚࿚𝆤.

It was nearly 4 in the morning by the time the four- turned tree of them finished cleaning while under the supervision of Ghost who stood as still a stone the entire time. A couple times it was brought into question if he was still awake, or was blinking. In which he scared them with a response and coincidentally shut them up at the same time.

Once they were allowed to depart they were nearly sleep deprived for all the cleaning. Staying up 48, even 72 hours for a mission was no problem but to make them clean and they were whipped out after just a few hours of work.

Gaz and Alex went to bed almost immediately, but Soap in his sleepy and ever intelligent state decided to be a menace to Ghost just a bit longer. So as Ghost was turning to walk away Soap caught up with him and swung his arm over his shoulder with a cheeky grin. “Aye Ghosty! Ye never answered the question of seein’ me in bed ye ken.”

Ghost scowled slightly and shoved Soap off of him with a growl. “Because it was a stupid question. How can you be so smart and yet so bloody stupid all at once?”

Soap rolled his eyes as he kept pace with Ghost and huffed slightly. “Not stupid, just know how to have fun unlike some people around here- I might need a muzzle but I’m not kept on a leash like you are.”

Ghost stopped walking. Dead in the middle of the hallway he stopped walking and turned to Soap with a glare, it was a dangerous and deadly look. “On a leash? What, want me to prove I think for myself?”

Soaps grin came back in a flash and he laughed, “obviously.”

It was almost sunrise, but for now the base was quiet, it was just the two of them in the halls and so Ghost did something unexpected. He pinned Soap up against a nearby wall, one hand on his waist and the other tugging up his mask just slightly so it sat on the bridge of his nose before his lips crashed down onto Soaps leaving him in shock as a slight gasp and whine slipped past his lips.

The kiss only lasted for a moment, less than a second even before he pulled away and tugged his mask back down but not before Soap caught a glance of a grin playing on Ghost's lips. “How’s that for thinkin’ for myself eh Johnny?”

And then he began to walk away.

Soap was left agape and blushing redder than a firetruck when Ghost walked away from him. “Bloody hell- Naeb’dys luck that that just happened right? Fuck meh.”

Ghost grinned from underneath his mask, the crinkle by his eyes gave that away as he looked over his shoulder and back towards Soap for a moment. “Ask nicely and I might.” And with that Ghost turned the corner and disappeared from Soap's sight, leaving the Scotsman more flustered than he was to begin with.

So of course once Soap was able to calm down and gather his thoughts he rushed into the nearest room- He simply needed someone to tell all of this to and at this point he didn't care who it was.

It was Roaches room that he ended up barging into at dark thirty in the morning, not that Soap cared what time it was anymore either. He was wide awake now and there wasn’t any chance that he was going to go to bed any time soon either.

Soaps accept was thicker than it had ever been as he took a spot on Roches bed and shook him awake. “Roach- Roach mate- Mo ghràidh!! gie yirsel a shake, bloody hell! I need somebody tae gab wi here mate, ah might juist explode otherwise! Come oan, please.”

Groggily Roach woke up after Soap shook him awake. His voice raspy and hair all a mess from just having been woken up as well. The sight caused another blush to rise to Soap's face but he quickly pushed it aside. “Fuckin hell man, what is it? People are still trying to sleep, not getting caught up in your schemes.”

Soap pouted and rolled his eyes. “Nae, nae that, nae schemes either- The lieutenant, thon wee bawbag kissed meh!”

At that Roach was sitting up in bed and seemed a lot more interested in what Soap was saying. “Wait- wait… You're talking crazy Johnny, I can barely understand ya mate… You're saying Ghost kissed ya?”

“Aye!!”

Roach chuckled, and shook his head as the sleep began to leave his body. “Well I’ll be damned- Is he any good?”

Soap openly blushed at that, which Roach noticed. “Aww the mighty MacTavish is blushing~ You like him then huh?”

“Oh shut ii Roach! I’m being serious here, the man kissed me! I didn't know he could do that-”

“What kiss people? He might be a killin’ machine but he’s still human, he’s still a guy.”

“Bloody hell, Gary! That's not the ficken point, I'm in crisis over here and you're having a laugh about it.”

“Course I am, you freaked out like this when I kissed ya drunk on new years- You're a decent kisser Johnny, expect the guy to come round for another one.”

Soap once again flushed red and then playfully pushed Roach away with a light glare and a huff. “You're an arse sometimes Roach, hope ye ken that.”

“Course I know that, I gotta be if i wanna be friends with you.”

Soap raised a teasing and mischievous eyebrow as he spoke next. “With all we do an’ we’re only friends? Here I thought we had something more going on than that~”

This time it was Roaches turn to blush, “Oh shut up! We can be friends and still something more at the same time- Now go chase after that lieutenant for us ye hear me?~ Somebody has to make the guy loosen up a bit and who better and a loose cannon and his boyfriend.”

A loud chuckle burst out of Soap's chest as he stole a quick kiss from Roach before moving to walk out of the room. “Aye sounds like the perfect plan.”

Yet as Soap moved to leave Roach pulled him back into his bed and it was obvious the two weren't going anywhere for quite awhile.

.𝆤࿙࿙࿚๋࿙࿚ ⊱♡⊰ ࿙࿚๋࿙࿚࿚𝆤. .𝆤࿙࿙࿚๋࿙࿚ ⊱♡⊰ ࿙࿚๋࿙࿚࿚𝆤.

While Soap was having his time with Roach, Ghost on the other hand was having a slight breakdown. He kissed someone- Furthermore he kissed a guy, and not just any guy, a guy with a known boyfriend. Man did he have problems.

Yes, it was also known around base that Soap and Roach weren't in a closed relationship and Ghost never thought he was that type of guy. But damn him and damn Soap, the lad was a good kisser.

With a sigh he collapsed onto his bed, throwing his mask off onto his bedside table and tried for at least a few minutes of shuteye before it was time to be back on duty and training the rookies. Until it was time to be Ghost again. That short exchange in the hall with Soap was the most relaxed he’d been in months since his last leave and he was almost aching for it again.

Before he knew it though the sun was rising and it was time to be awake, it felt like he barely got any sleep as he dragged himself out of bed and pulled his mask back on before heading into the mess hall. He found a spot tucked away into a corner by himself with just a simple cuppa coffee before Johnny bound into the mess hall with his usual grin, his neck covered in illy hidden hickies.

The sight caused an unusual heat to rise to Ghosts face which caused him to scowl and tuck away further into his corner, he couldn’t decide if he wanted to punch something or drag Soap down by his collar and make him go dumb around him like he'd done with a few of his one night stands.

With a low growl he sipped on his coffee and sighed, he was at war with himself and didn't want to do anything to fix it.- Well that's not entirely true, he wanted to fix it, he just wasn't entirely sure how to, or even if the how was possible.

Yey of course as the fates would have it, Soap noticed him tucked away in his corner of solitude. So Soap and his ever boyish attitude he made his way over to Ghost and took the seat across from him, grinning mischievously and propped his head onto his hands, his elbows resting on the table. “Hey there lover boy”

Ghost blue screened for a moment and nearly choked on his coffee mid sip causing Soap to burst out into laughter.. “I- what??”

“Naethin but a joke, just thought it’d be fun to see your reaction after that stunt ye played earlier.”

Ghost blinked. And then blinked again before trying to focus his attention back onto his coffee. “I was out of line for that- Shouldn't have done it, was just tryin’ to prove a point, more than a dog on a leash an’ all.”

Soap merely shrugged, unbothered by Ghost's dismissal. “Ye got naethin tae worry aboot, been tryin to egg ye on fur ages now an’ Roach dinnae mind any about it no aen, lad was all jokes aboot it when I was freaking out this mornin’, want to compare note an’ what nae.”

A slight blush rose to Ghost face no matter how hard he tried to fight it as he simply stared at Soap, words almost failing to form. “You- Roach wanted to do what? Wait… You talked about me kissin ya? Didn’t think it was that big of a deal, wasn’t even my best work.”

Soap chuckled and shook his head slightly, “Nae naethin like that- Well, kinda actually… ye terrifying and if ye didnt already know it everybody thinks ye attractive juist naebody has the balls to make a move on ye.”

Ghost sat there mouth agape, and his blush darkened to the point it was finally noticeable and before he could respond Soap spoke up once more. “Meh and Roach are havin a movie night tonight, naething serious, just a bit o’fun, time to relax an’ all- ye mair than welcome to join us”

Ghost paused and swirled his coffee around in his mug for a moment or so, the two simply sat in silence for a couple minutes as Ghost thought before he spoke up. “What movie did you two pick?”

Soap grinned, “The Princess Bride, it's a timeless classic that ye cannae go wrong with- Got a projector fur the room an’ everything.”

Ghost nodded, placing down a now empty mug and then nugging down his mask once again. “We’ll see about it.” And with that he stood and quickly vanished from view, being the ghost he was known to be.

Soap rolled his eyes at the dramatics but he was giddy at the thought of Ghost possibly, maybe, showing up for movie night. He knew there was a slim chance that something would actually happen between him, Ghost and Roach but there was always that one percent of possibility and that's what Soap decided to focus on. He loved Roach but damn was Ghost enthralling.

.𝆤࿙࿙࿚๋࿙࿚ ⊱♡⊰ ࿙࿚๋࿙࿚࿚𝆤. .𝆤࿙࿙࿚๋࿙࿚ ⊱♡⊰ ࿙࿚๋࿙࿚࿚𝆤.

The hours passed and the day went by as usual, Ghost was outside working the recruits half to death, terrorising another generation of soldiers. Soap wasn’t being a menace for once, he was working with Price on the logistics of certain types of explosions and trying to explain the maths of how each of them worked. And Roach, Roach was tucked away somewhere doing who knows what but at least everyone was staying out of trouble.

As the sun began to set on the day Soap ended up back in Roaches bed, tucked into his side (so sue the man if he liked being the little spoon on occasion) and the movie played on the wall. About 30 minutes or 45, neither were sure there was a slight knock on the door.

“Doors open!”

There was a pause, it seemed like a moment of hesitation but then the door opened and there stood Ghost. Instead of being dressed in his usual tactical gear he was wearing a black hoodie and a matching pair of sweatpants. Even his mask was more casual, this one only covered about half his face, showing off his hair- which was a dirty blonde and messier than you'd think possible.

“I’m still invited, yeah? Not too late am I? Couldn’t decide if I should show up or not-”

“Aye! Of course Ghosty! Plenty of room in the bed, come on in.”

Roach laughed softly at his boyfriend's excitement yet shifted slightly to accommodate for another person joining in their not so large bed. Ghost ended up nestled in between the two, Soaps legs were draped over his and Roach was nestled into the crook of his arm. It was… warm, comfortable even and the movie held a nice ambiance to the background.

The movie played and the three laid there cuddled together, a few teases and jabs here and there were exchanged but overall everything was peaceful and Ghost felt context for the first time in a very long time. As the credits began to roll Roach was falling asleep on Ghost, and Ghost had found himself absentmindedly playing with Soaps hair- No one dared mention that in case he’d stop upon being called out for being soft.

“Simon”

The other two looked up at Ghost as he spoke, the rumble of his chest when he talked rosing Roach enough to light a confused spark in their eyes. “Huh?”

“My name- It’s Simon… Don't use it too much though- Or in front of the rest of the team, but my name's Simon.”

Soap grinned, and Roach simply nestled back into Ghost's side but that didn't mean he didn't kiss Ghost's cheek first. “Pleasure tae meet ye then Simon~”

[sophieinwonderland]

H-hey,,, i-i'm on anon because this is very e-embarassing to ask for... b-but i found this v-very long post basically fakeclaiming a lot of systems online and claiming that being plural is a trend. T-they also said that pluralkit is anti-recovery and a bunch of other stuff. I-i feel destroyed inside and I know i should not care about haters that much, b-but i was wondering if you can respond to the post in some way, by debunking it i-or maybe just saying that it is not valid. I-i understand if you cannot do this and i wouldn't be mad at you, i just thought that i might try. /gen

This is the post: https://www.tumblr.com/nbhdsc4ss/742946435586277376/im-tired-of-this-boom-of-plural-trend?source=share

Yikes! That's such a terrible post!

Alright, let's go over this.

First, just another reminder that if 1.5% of people have DID as is estimated, over a hundred-million people in the world should have the disorder.

Just on this alone, I find fad claims to be nonsense. We aren't actually seeing anywhere near the numbers of people with DID online who should have it. And that's without touching other forms of multiplicity.

This is an incredibly unhealthy outlook.

A system shares their life. The life doesn't belong to any single headmate. Hosts can change over time. And many systems don't really have a true "core." The very concept of the core is largely outdated.

What?

I think this post is killing my neurons! I can feel my brain cells dying as we speak! 🙄

Anyway, just in case anyone was worried this might be true. It's not. I don't know what they're talking about. There's nothing about switching killing neurons anywhere.

As far as I can tell, any association with cerebral palsy is also made up.

Honestly, I could spend eons unpacking the misinformation in this paragraph alone.

I made this blog back in 2021.

The Plural Association was founded in 2020.

"Endogenic system" was coined in 2014.

The Natural Multiples movement dates back to the 90s.

And "system" has been in the vocabular of all these groups since even the beginning.

And while it's not quite a medical term, it does at least originate in medical contexts. The only difference is that the plural community uses it as an identity label for plurals while most academic sources refer to a personality system as something everyone has, with the personality system of multiples being composed of dissociated parts. (Sometimes called "subsystems" in DID literature to denote alters being personality systems within personality systems.)

Words make communication easier.

Calling a headmate an "introject" is easier that referring to them as a headmate based on a source.

Also, blurring and blending generally mean that multiple headmates are, well, blending together. It's hard to know who is fronting because there are multiple headmates who feel like they're mixing, and it makes it confusing.

But another reason for not knowing who is fronting could be a sort of autopilot like in DPDR. Differentiating between these experiences is useful.

Wait... Affection between alters is anti-recovery?

You know, this really puts the earlier lines about non-host alters stealing the life of the host into perspective.

Not only does this draw a picture of an adversarial relationship between alters, but they're treating that adversarial relationship as being good for recovering, and feeling affection for them as a bad thing.

This is possibly the most harmful take I've ever seen.

As for the rest of it, subsystems (as we use the term) are just headmates more closely linked. I've never heard anyone phrase it as an alter having DID. But I guess I can see the parallel. And again, splits and switches don't damage braincells. Having a bigger system isn't going to make the "days of the body count down."

Wait... weren't you just claiming switching literally kills neurons? I mean, I agree that alters can't permanently die (under normal circumstances) but this feels kinda contradictory.

As for having different disorders, this depends a lot on the disorder. By and large, I believe any condition that can be psychogenic can be experienced by some alters and not others.

But what conditions could be psychogenic would probably surprise you. Look at the woman who had some blind alters and some sighted alters.

Polyfragmented systems were traditionally systems with upwards of 100 alters. (And "highly complex" isn't a medical term.)

And again, splitting and switching doesn't kill neurons. Having a bunch of alters isn't going to kill you! Nor will it allow your rights to be stripped and get you forcefully institutionalized against your will so you can be studied like a lab rat!

Why would you just assume the doctors are misdiagnosing you though?

I mean, typically, DID is incorrectly diagnosed as other disorders far more often than you have people be incorrectly diagnosed with DID.

Again, there's this disturbing emphasis on the alters existing for the host and being bad for wanting things of their own, which bring back to mind their assertion that affection between alters is anti-recovery.

And I just... feel really bad for the other alters in this system. This is just so... sad...

If they're not real kids, then what's wrong with them being on the internet?

I mean, yeah, all alters need pronouns. If any identify as a different gender, it's important to have pronouns for them so you know what to refer to them by. Why is this controversial? 🤷‍♀️

And what does the part about alters becoming useless mean?

Talk therapy isn't magic. Yes, it can help to speak to a professional, but I don't understand the view that it's impossible to fuse without seeing a therapist.

Oh, and the line about how "knowing things about another alter is impossible" is nonsense too. Most DID systems don't have total amnesia all the time every time they switch. And many who do experience amnesia can still communicate. They can learn about their alters by asking. And even ones who don't communicate internally can learn to communicate through notes and text!

...

Yeah... this post is just... so... so... SO bad. In every way! Just mountains upon mountains of harmful takes and misinformation!

[dragonmarquise]

Y'know what I feel like the BRC community lacks? Solace appreciatation!!! Can I pls have all your hcs on this pathetic wet cat of a man pls?

Okay! This is gonna be hopefully shorter than some of my other headcanon posts, but I guess only because it's just one character this time, lol

Nevertheless! Gonna put a Read More here since it probably still counts as a long post.

Tryce is still weirded out by Solace to a degree (especially, y'know, because of the claustrophobic masochist thing) but after a while he just accepts that that's how Solace is. "He's a weirdo, yeah, but he's our weirdo now I guess." Kinda like a cat that chooses to adopt you, instead of the other way around, so it's like "Welp, I guess I have a cat now!" lol

Solace mostly learned how to skate in order to run from the cops Basically they would hassle him whenever he was hanging out in tight places, even if it was far from the public eye. Later on, he decided to try out being a writer, but he doesn't really do graffiti art that often. Even after joining BRC, that hasn't changed much!

Solace really likes sweaters! Mostly during the colder months of course, even wearing them in layers to help stay warm. He tends to get colder more easily than other people.

Heck, in general he seems to have sensitivity to temperature in both directions. Gets cold very easily and thus has to wear more layers than other people would. But also gets hot very easily in the warmer months, and even goes shirtless most of the time during summer. Hence his appearance during the game imo!

I like to think the dummy markings on his face is just face paint, while the ones on his chest/torso are actually tattoos. The idea being if the cops are after him, he can hide somewhere, wipe off his face paint, then just throw on a shirt and (hopefully) the cops won't recognize him. Unfortunately with his luck, it's kind of a coin toss if it works or not, lol

On that note, in general I think Solace tends to have bad luck. He's joked in the past about possibly being cursed, but the rest of BRC wonder if it might actually be true... at the least, Eclipse has confirmed that Solace has some pretty damn unlucky star signs going on, so that's something.

Solace sleeps with a weighted blanket! Not as part of his claustrophobic masochist kink (though a lot of people assume it is anyways, which he finds irritating). It just genuinely helps him sleep better.

Also in general he has problems with getting enough sleep! Besides the weight blanket, he also sleeps with a white noise machine. It helps "block" outside noises, and given he lives in a big city like New Amsterdam, there's probably a ton of city noises he has to block out before he can get any sleep!

He likes to feed stray cats near his apartment, though he also carries treats with him to feed any cats he meets while he's out and about!

He also does the same with birds, with food that's safe/healthy for them to eat (mostly just seeds instead of stuff like bread or chips). There's a couple of crows who are actively friendly with him too!

Meanwhile dogs don't seem to like him very much. They tend to at least growl at him, even if they're normally friendly otherwise.

I imagine a guy as pale as him is careful to put on sunscreen when he goes out, especially during the times of the year where he's out shirtless. Stuff like skin cancer is no joke! Though even besides that he probably tends to get sunburnt easily without the sunscreen.

He's a bit of a doormat, but he's gaining confidence now that he's with BRC! It's still a work in progress though, sometimes also a "one step forward, two steps back" kind of thing.

And finally, separating this out from the list, since it's going to take a couple of paragraphs:

He has the respect of Devil Theory! This might seem out of left field, but basically they ended up really respecting Solace after he was willing to step between them and frickin' Faux in a walking tank. Most other people would have let Devil Theory get thrashed in that situation, which would have been seen as deserved because of all the snitching, nevermind them making a deal with Faux against other writers.

So now because of Solace's bravery, Devil Theory consider him an honorary member! They also sometimes act as his bodyguards, even though he insists they don't have to. But now anyone has to think twice if they try to bully Solace, lmao

Also, Devil Theory have been trying to teach him how to be more confident and stand up for himself! But again, it's a work in progress.

Example, at one point he manages to actually stand up to Tryce on calling him a degenerate… but then almost immediately apologizes for being "rude" to Tryce.

Meanwhile the DT guys are in the background going, "NO! Dude, you almost fuckin' had it!!" lol

Annnnd, yeah, I think that's about all I got for Solace! :>

[mrsbsmooth]

Thanks for the tag @rebelrayne and @justtuesdays!

This should be fun

Rules: Share the first paragraph of your last 5-10 published works or as many as you are able and see if there are any patterns!

I'm doing ten because wtf is the point of having written 82 LITG fics if I can't randomly blast shit like this.

Jin sank a ball into Oakley’s cup, the two of them falling into a mess of laughter as they started up again about the baby pigeons. Claudia leaned in, slipping her hand into his and resting her head on his shoulder. “Okay, babe?” she whispered, smiling up at him like he was the world. “Yeah, babe,” Theo smiled back at her, trying to make his just as warm. “Just watching the game.” She sighed, like she had something on her mind. A good guy would ask her about it. - High Exposure (Theo, chaptered, villa)

She was an idiot. She was an idiot, right? Not for twisting– God knew she didn’t want Jude. But this idea wasn’t stupid. It would work. Surely it would work. - Shut Up (Hamish, OS, villa)

Finn leaned against the counter, staring out over the villa. He sipped his water. He’d been coupled up with Kelly for one day. One day since she’d confessed she didn’t actually see him as a brother– she wanted more. One day and she’d asked him to be fuckin’ exclusive, at least until they could figure things out between them– and he’d just– He’d watched what’s-his-face pull Molly into the bedroom.  - De-finn-itely (Finn, OS, villa)

There was something in the air that day. He’d felt it as soon as he’d stepped out of the Jeep and into the villa, but he hadn’t been able to place the feeling. A buzzing, a weird energy; more than nerves or excitement for the journey he was about to embark on. His normally steady heart was pounding, the rhythm pulsing in the palms of his hands as he clenched and released them. He swallowed hard. He rolled his lips together.  He was used to the pre-match jitters - that wasn’t what this was.  This was different. - Unhealthy (Lewie, chaptered, villa)

The singer on stage hit his final note, and the backing track switched off. Hope, their band manager, nodded, and directed him off the stage, thanking him for coming and telling him they’d let him know.  Jax stretched her legs under the desk, her tattered, defaced notebook losing its pages all over the top of it. The band’s name, JackSlut , graffitied by various markers and black pens on every page.  She frowned even deeper than her regular, everyday frown. - Famous Last Words (Bobby, chaptered, AU)

Marshall awoke, draped in satin sheets that were always bloody magic for his hair. He had a smile on his face, as he usually did after a job. But his job wasn’t over yet. The work part was– that ended at five a.m. Now, he was making a return customer feel valued. He rolled over toward the middle of the bed, and curled his arm around his client from the night before. He buried his face in her grey hair, and she awoke with a start and a giggle of surprise. “Oh, Beau,” Isobel sighed. “Knock it off. I can’t afford to keep begging you to stay another night. You’ll end up here for a month and you’ll bankrupt me.” It was a lie. She could afford it. This was her way of flirting. - Hot, Hung and Hopeless (Marshall, chaptered, AU)

Harriet sighed. 8:54pm on a Friday, and they were dead. The restaurant was a nice one, an up and coming place that hadn’t decided if it was upmarket or street-cool, giving it a lovely flexibility. She liked it here. The few people who’d braved the threat of rain had dispersed around the restaurant, and none of them were sitting anywhere near her. The last four hours had dragged. She still had one to go until the late night crew arrived, and she’d already taken her break. She just needed something to– To distract– God damn. - Hearts Awakened, Live Alive (Lucas, OS, AU)

Sebastian Katsaros, first impression checklist: Pretentious, judgemental, not even the slightest bit sarcastic whatsoever. He had his brand sorted. He knew his niche, and it worked for him. He did not click with people easily. He’d perfected his resting bitch face so well that most people avoided him until he’d sussed them out enough to let his guard down. He didn’t like people who were too loud, or inauthentic. So how he’d ended up in a villa full of them, he had no fucking idea. - A Gentlemen's Agreement (Seb, OS, villla)

He was cute. Like, he was more than cute, he was hot. And he was looking at her.  It was just out of the corner of his eye, to start. But as the game progressed, the subtle glances Became not-at-all subtle looks ; catching her eye and smiling every time she looked back. He was leaning back in his seat; relaxed and perfectly at home. In nothing fancier than a white t-shirt and loose-fitting jeans, his hair a little messy from the early-spring breeze, Katie smiled back at him one last time before turning to her side with an interested look.  “He’s cute,” she said.  - Off Limits (Lewie, chaptered, AU)

Saoirse kicked the leg that tried to link in front of hers, edging in against the metal gate to be at the very front of the mosh pit. She had fought her way to the front to see her favourite band, and she wasn’t giving up her spot lightly. The intruder huffed and slotted in to her left in front of someone with less fortitude. There were bodies all around her. There was no personal space to be found here. Someone was at each shoulder, and hundreds deep on each side. A large, hard body was right behind her. But no one was getting in front. - I got fucked by some guy in the mosh pit and all I got was this fic written about me (Finn, OS, AU)

Tagging @longbobmckenzie @operationnope @ellegreenwxy @eskiix @sparxaf @i-boop-you @tammyisobsessedwith @chroniccomicobsession @willkimurashat and @thatwheelchairchick

[pixiestickie]

also jamiazu prompt fr u to talk abt: who do u think kissed the other first. how do u think their first kiss played out

RUBS MY EVIL HANDS LIKE AN EVIL MOSQUITO ON A SUMMER MORNING

okay so ill get to the point my awnser is jamil im sorry . i dont know how many people here will agree with this post but i am no longer a coward on tumblr (LIAR)

i mostly feel like this because I can’t picture azul as being straight forward about that sort of thing. i can picture him as meticolously planning and practicing everything beforehand and then just failing miserably because jamil is jamil.

sometimes i think abt how azul never had a friend to socualize with in his childhood (other than the tweels which are FAR from normal friends). if he ever crushed on someone as a kid he 100% never acted out on it because of how insecure he was (and is) with all that bullying he received

also azul is at disadvantage because jamil is always so grumpy around him how is one supposed to know if its ok to kiss this guy without getting punched in the face

the whole thing about jamiazu is that jamil needs to learn how to trust azul (abd actually azul does as well but thats another can of worms that needs its seperate post) which is why i can only see it happen post-book6 jamil

once he learns to overcome his horrifying trust issues induced by his horrible job . thats when he kisses azul ^_^

i really went off topic with this post cuz it was supposed to be about a first kiss but i deserve to wtite paragraphs and be shameless i think

anyway my vision is: they’re hanging out alone in an unplanned place like maybe away from a scarabia party? maybe in the fucking hallways bathrooms away from classes? just not a planned date or anything because i have delusions (i feel like jamil would do it in an unplanned context on purpose). at first they’re just standing there alone with lots of tension, with azul trying to chat like he always does but jamil is deep in thought about how he feels about everything. jamil concludes that he is so tired of depriving himself of what he wants and of holding himself back. that he should go for that kiss because he deserves it ^_^ and azul explodes and dies……. u think about the rest…….

i hope you like my vision i should not be allowed to write crimge when sleep deprived ❤️❤️❤️

[secretmellowblog]

Hijo for the characterask game

Javert and #8

(A little late but for this ask game!!! Thank you again!)

#8: a thing the fandom does with this character that you despise!

Despise is a strong word! I'll say "confuses me" instead. I talked a little bit about it in my post about fandom Valjean things I dislike-- with the caveat that I don't think any of this is really a big deal, because this small huddle of fandom stuff is a very tiny niche that doesn't have a wide impact, and also it's very normal/natural for people's opinions on characters to change over time, and I know that my *own* opinions have changed over time-- but---

I am confused by all the pro-police stuff in the Javert fandom? XD

I think the main thing that confuses me is why Post-Seine stuff where Javert is "redeemed" usually has Javert returning to his job.

It just makes more sense, thematically and on a character level, for him to resign? The common idea that "redeemed Javert" would go back to arresting people and that this would be a Good Thing always throws me off. Because 'the entire criminal justice system is fundamentally broken, there is a gulf on high, it is immoral to do this' was his whole dramatic realization and all. Plus, even putting aside the anti-police politics of the book, being a cop was clearly not good for Javert's mental health. XD It was making him feel very bad!

I remember once reading a mildly popular fic where a post-seine Javert talks about how he thinks the prison system is fundamentally broken and violent and unjust, and he can never return to his job. And I was like "Wow, this author gets it!" Then I kept reading and it turns out Javert was supposed to be *wrong* in that paragraph, that paragraph was supposed to represent an incorrect pessimistic wrong way of thinking, and the fic was about Javert regaining his faith in the police. It's just very funky! Kinda just like, realizing people view this story in such a radically different way you can't ever vibe with their versions of the characters. People sometimes walk back everything Javert realizes in Derailed as if they're mistakes, instead of positive character development, which feels odd to me. People act as if Jean Valjean is the rare exception to the general rule that Prison Is Awesome And Cool, and that Javert just needs to realize he was wrong about Jean Valjean specifically and nothing else.

I think people often miss that the police are the villains of Javert's story, in the way they're the villains of Jean Valjean's. His family was ripped apart by the criminal justice system before he was even born, he was born in a cage like an animal, and he became an agent of the system that destroyed his childhood because he internalized that institutional abuse as something that he and his family must have deserved. "Is a system that leads to children being born in jails in desperate poverty actually just?" "well of course it is. the baby is a crime baby made of crime. >:("

He's spent his whole life either living in prison or serving as an agent of the prison system; he has no framework for what living outside of serving the carceral system actually looks like. My take is, that poor horrible creature has had enough policework for several lifetimes. If there is a way to be a "good cop," he would've found it by now. Let him rest. Let him find some funky new job.

Also, one or two people have implied in the distant past that I must hate Valvert, but from a Valvert perspective-- I think it's easier to have post-seine Valvert if Javert quits his job. First, it's a dramatic shift in their dynamic and the power level between them; it's a clear sign that Javert has permanently changed. Second: Javert searching for a new job after spending his entire life serving the prison system is just rife for bonding hijinks. You could easily write a scenario where Jean Valjean helps pull strings to find him work as a gardener for Petit-Picpus, but has to help train him for the position or something along those lines, giving them an excuse to interact. Third: I don't think Javert needs to be a cop to be nosy. If you want to write a "casefic"-ish mystery plotline he could be an Angela Lansbury Murder-She-Wrote old lady retiree character solving a mystery out of pure nosiness, without even arresting anyone. Because it would be very funny.

...This has just turned into a ramble about possible Post-Seine hijinks. Anyway the moral is: there isn't really a moral, this is just my petty fandom opinions. But "Javert fics where police are bad" and "Javert fics where police are flawed but ultimately good" are two completely different genres, is my take.

[scover-va]

I need to know more about Michael's mom... Is she a cool mom?

SHE IS A VERY COOL MOM janet afton you will always be famous. to me

Im taking this as a chance to finally ramble abt her anyways so Janet's core inspo when designing her was to avoid 2 key things. Don't make her like Immortal & Th Restless's Clara (due to clara representing michael, not mrs afton, so i wanted to avoid that), and don't base her too heavily off of Ballora. I still have ties to Ballora's character (a music-based theme, blue-centric colour palette, im sure there were more basic ideas but everything else is more hc than themes to keep up) due to my hc thingy of each Funtime having ties to William's wife + kids, but yknow.

But yeah. Funky lady who played bass guitar + did backup vocals in a band during her high school and college years. Literally her and William dating can be summed up by "Seriously, what do you see in that guy?!" "He makes me laugh." bc she was and is WAY out of his goddamn league. Not just bc of the whole serial killer thing he was just an even bigger loser in college. Normal people dont develop a crush on a woman after she nearly breaks your nose and makes you bleed, William /j

But yeah uhh. I also dont like the idea of her being absent or neglectful purely because I got way too attached to her (i was originally gonna do that just to make things easy for myself but. Pretty lady,,, I am a very simple lesbian what can i say) so like. She obviously wasnt the greatest, most fantastic mom to ever exist given she was kinda maybe sorta well aware William was making some weird fucking clowns, but like. Hey. She tried. Also side note my reasoning for her being absent during the whole. Yknow. '83 event (and just evan's bday in general) is bc Evan + Elizabeth are twins and Elizabeth demanded a girls-only trip for her bday, and Janet promised Evan she'd do something just as special for him when she got back. That never happened bc he died lmao loser /j

But yeah uhh. Shes got a lot of regrets. Wishes she coulda done a lot of things better. Kinda dies with those regrets. Ive seen people say that one of fnaf's charms is that no character is 100% good and i LOVE that, and wanted to keep it up with Janet. Good mom and overall a good person, however made some bad decisions along the way and whatnot.

Im still working out specifics (ive been slowly working on a lil private fic abt her and william meeting + their early relationship) but uhhh. Minor notes that dont get their own paragraphs is that William sampled her voice for Ballora so yay easy voice claim, she had an on and off relationship with her band's lead singer (her name's Bev), her birth name is actually Janice Schmidt but if you call her Janice she'll knock at least 2 of ur teeth out, she's a runaway teen and got adopted by this older couple bc her home life kinda sucked (idk specifics yet), and also girlie has an extensive criminal record of minor angsty teen type charges. Also teen Mike dying his hair and then 2020's Michael's hairstyle are both kinda references to Janet's hair because he wnated to look less like his father. Thats all ty. No read more bc you WILL look at my mrs afton post, boy /j

Actually no theres more that im remembering as i write the tags and edit a few details. Back to her and William because god im insane about them. So for starters it. Well i was gonna say Janet was def the first to flirt but i think William definitely developed a crush first and they only kept talking bc of said crush so its kinda up for debate. Anyways yeah at first it was a HUGE sorta like "Well he's funny especially when I fluster him so this can be just a fun lil thing" but because they chatted more they def kinda like. Clicked more. William was a huge fan of listening to her music (from. a distance. he looked kinda like a creep but at least janet only misinterpreted it once) but like *specifically* janet he didnt give a fucking shit abt the rest of the band. Uhh. They had their first run-in and janet kinda. Well. Punched him in the nose before he cleared up that he is NOT a pervert or anything weird like that (bc a guy that looks older than he is staring from a distance when there is a clear crowd he could join kinda gave janet the Wrong idea), then they later bumped into each other in the hall and chatted for a bit, then they kinda just kept "accidentally" running into one another. Uhhh. Some cigaerette-themed flirting and a house party later, yay dating :] can you tell where the current cut-off of the fic is /j Also idk how to put this down properly but they are both runaways and can kinda. Get that vibe from one another. Literally Michael is like some fucked up abomination of the both of them between the troubled past + weird situationship thing + runaway stuff + a lot of minor details that arent important rn. I just. Yeah Janet means the world to me go thru her tag on my blog for some art. Not all of my janet art is posted but the non-posted stuff is all concept work/doodles or just. Shit im too embarrassed to post lmao. Anyways NOW im done ty for reading

[mynamesaplant]

The Headspace that is Grief (Ch. 1)

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Summary: The grieving process is different for everyone, Emmet and Olivia know that first hand but they just don't know it yet. Sometimes it takes another person experiencing the same things as you to move through those feelings. Together, they learn and grow with their grief and each other.

In this chapter: Olivia meets her new tenant

Notes: You can tell I was in the midst of one of my finance classes in these first few paragraphs. This was not beta read - so if there are spelling or grammatical errors, let me know. This was sort of an experimental fic for me, I find Emmet hard to write for, and I cannot confidently say that I nailed his characterization. Regardless, I hope you enjoy!~

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Olivia had a pair of bud shears and a bead of sweat trickling down her face. She really didn't want to touch this Roseli sapling just yet, but the sapling was flowering far too early with so few leaves.

"Come on, buddy. You need more energy before you try to flower."

The sapling did not respond, and Olivia huffed indignantly. This happened all the time with her Roseli trees - with all Roseli trees, honestly. They were tough to grow because they required near constant maintenance and most laymen just didn't have the patience for it. The process of removing all the buds was slow, but the good thing about all the flower buds was that they made a pretty good tea when brewed. Her task took more than thirty minutes for her three trees, but every bud was removed, and she breathed a sigh of relief as she trudged back toward the greenhouse.

Within the next month, her crop would be coming in. About 70% of her stock was to be sold to bakeries that made Poffin, flower shops, and some specialty item shops up in the Frontier. About 9% was going to people like Palmer, who valued the quality of Olivia's berries and wanted them directly from the source, these were usually elite trainers who wanted an edge above the rest. Those trainers usually heard about her through the grapevine, and that her stock was extremely limited, so she had to make slots for private customers. 6% was saved, either for selling as seeds to interested gardeners or for herself, split evenly at about 3%. The last 15% was to be sold locally to anyone who came to Cedaridge, with about 1% of that being unusable for various reasons.

Olivia was going to be busy. She still had to go buy some more fertilizer, pay her bills, and check her orders because she needed to be careful the number didn't go over her projections. If there were more berries than anticipated, she would reach out to the customer to see if they were still interested, but Olivia had this down to a science and usually wasn't wrong.

She cleaned and put away her tools, her attention moving toward the house where she could start her other tasks. Olivia turned and saw a very tall man standing just outside the door to her greenhouse, his hand outstretched like he had intended to knock.

Without thinking, Olivia grabbed her pruning shears and wielded them in one hand, taking a few steps back. The man looked startled and also took a step away, an uneasy smile on his face as he lifted his hands.

"Ah - I did not mean to startle you."

He apologized, his wide eyes flicking to the shears like he was concerned he was actually going to get attacked with them.

"Who are you and what are you doing here?"

Olivia snapped, still on the defensive, as she noticed a lot of Pokéballs on his hips, carefully concealed by a long white and red striped coat. He followed her gaze and quickly said,

"This is 73 Wisteria Lane, correct? There is a room vacancy here, yes?"

Olivia paused, lowering the shears slightly and appraising him more closely. Normally it was archeologists, fossil hunters, and professors who were looking for places to stay on Mount Coronet - this guy didn't look like any of those things. She squinted at him, and he blinked back, his smile settling into something of a grimace as Olivia stepped out of the greenhouse and looked him over closely.

He was right around Gina's height, which meant she had to look up at him and he had to look down his nose at her, almost going cross eyed in the process. She could see just how exhausted this man looked up close. The bag under his eyes were about as gray as those eyes and his features looked gaunt, his hair beneath his cap disheveled like he hadn't been bothering with it. His coat gave the illusion that he was a big man, but Olivia could see that he looked painfully skinny. The belt holding too many Poké balls was sinched tight with frayed holes punched into the leather long after the belt had been manufactured.

"Yes." She replied tentatively, looking up at him and holding his gaze. It seemed like it was taking all his effort to keep eye contact. "You're interested in the room?"

"I am. Yep."

He breathed a sigh of relief that she finally understood, and she returned her shears back to their spot in the greenhouse before shutting the door.

"Come on."

She said, striding past him to her back door, only for it to burst open. Infernape was barreling out, eyes narrowed, and teeth bared at the stranger, but Olivia swiftly stepped before the man and put her hands on her hips.

"Excuse you."

She said sharply, the Fire type's eyes went wide and he dug his heels in, screeching to a halt. Behind her, she heard the man hum as if intrigued, leaning around her to study her Pokémon. Infernape gave him a squinty side-eye and shuffled a step in the opposite direction. Olivia also heard the sound of a Poké ball minimizing and the rustle of his coat, but she didn't comment on that.

"Sorry, he's not usually like that. He'll get used to you... Er, I didn't catch your name."

She turned to look at him, eyebrows raised in question, and he stood up straighter, mouth curving in a proud grin.

"I am Emmet. Emmet Porter."

"Okay, Mr. Porter. I'm Olivia. I can show you the room and you can decide if it's to your-"

He raised his hand to interrupt her.

"Unnecessary. I just have three questions."

"Oh... kay?"

Olivia stopped, giving him the benefit of turning around fully. He ticked each item off with his fingers.

"How is the internet access? Do you have any objections for me bringing a few things here and if I make a few cosmetic alterations?" Olivia looked at him for a long moment, trying to decipher what a few meant before she just asked him. "Oh, nothing too unrealistic..." He replied, offering a little shrug to accompany the cryptic answer.

"We'll see." Olivia answered noncommittally. "Let me show you the room."

Mr. Emmet didn't have any objections to the lodging, with the exception of running a gloved finger through the layer of dust on the dresser. She apologized and said she would have it cleaned up as soon as possible.

"Do not apologize." He assured her, tugging his gloves on tighter and asking for some cleaning supplies. "Leave it to me. I would like to be situated here as soon as possible."

"Er..." Olivia didn't know how to object; she honestly hadn't expected anyone to fill the space again and now she had Mr. Emmet who wanted to move in at this very instant. "H-How many Pokémon do you have, Mr. Emmet?"

That made him pause, Olivia could see tugging his coat a little tighter around him. He cleared his throat self-consciously and croaked out a number,

"Twelve."

"Tw-Twelve!"

It was almost a shriek and Infernape flinched beside her.

"Ah, no-no, Miss Olivia. I promise, they are verrrry well-mannered. Yup. Verrrrry well-mannered."

Twelve Pokémon? She could maybe host a full team depending on the Pokémon, but twelve?

"No way! Do you know how many mouths that is to feed?"

Mr. Emmet was rubbing his neck and looking at the ceiling as if trying to come up with a solution, a pinched expression on his face.

"I will double your asking price."

"What?"

"I must keep them with me. It... It is verrrrry important to me."

He looked back down with her with pleading eyes, just like Chimchar used to do and she looked away. She thought she was immune to this charm. He looked as if he was going to get down on his knees and beg, but Olivia quickly stammered out,

"I-I want to see them all before I decide anything."

He brightened and brought his fingers to his mouth, whistling sharply, and he was almost entirely consumed by light. Infernape growled a little beside her and she even heard a small squeak from the door at all the hubbub in the master bedroom.

The room was jam-packed with Pokémon big and small, so much so that it made Olivia stumble backward. Infernape deftly caught her and righted her as she stared at the array, completely dumbstruck. She knew she wasn't good at identifying Pokémon, but it was a little ridiculous that, of the 12, with only two mechanical looking ones that reminded vaguely of Bronzor, Olivia had no idea what any of them were. All of them were leaning forward to peer at her, half circled around Mr. Emmet protectively. He stood proudly at the center.

"This is my team, yup. See? Excellent manners. May they stay?" He seemed to be waiting keenly for her answer when something beyond her caught his attention. His eyes grew enormous, and his hands were lifting as if he was going to cover his mouth, before he started flapping them. "Is that an Alolan Raichu?"

He said, clearly already knowing the answer and her Raichu chirped curiously but stayed back. His blue eyes were fixed on the floating purple Pokémon, and he seemed reluctant to come closer.

"M-Mr. Emmet, I'm afraid this is too much to ask." Olivia finally managed to spit out, recovering from her stupor and his face fell, behind him his Pokémon exchanged worried glances. She was quick to interject before he tried to plead his case. "It's not just the food. My house can't handle this many Pokémon. I'm not going to confine you to your room, you can use the rest of the house, but that's going to seem like a lot less space come the colder months, Mr. Emmet. If your stay is indefinite, then all your Pokémon can't be here at once."

It was like she had let all the air out of a balloon, he was deflating, sitting heavily on the bed with a bloom of dust rising in the air. He stared into his lap, lost in thought temporarily as a few of his enormous team came over to comfort him.

She wasn't trying to be hard on the guy, but she needed to establish rules early on... Who was she kidding? She was also looking for an excuse for him to go away. Olivia wasn't sure she wanted the room to have an occupant. The silence finally seemed normal... even if it sometimes still hurt.

"What will it take?"

"Hm?"

He was looking up at her, his features morose except for the pained smile, it was like his mouth was stuck in the position.

"I will triple the asking price."

"It's not-"

Olivia tried to say but she could see he was starting to get frantic.

"Anything. Please, let them stay. They will not bother you."

She looked around at each one in turn, all of them starting to get as anxious as their trainer. She looked at the ones with the big claws and other sharp parts, at the ones floating off the ground, even the big one that smelled vaguely like garbage - Olivia looked them over one more time.

"Okay. They can stay, under one condition."

The relief that passed over his face was immense, like Olivia had spared his own life.

"In a few weeks, my crops will start to be ready, and I could use some help with harvesting."

"Harvesting?" To say he looked confused would have been an understatement. Mr. Emmet stared at her for a long moment before something must have clicked in his brain. "Oh yes, you do that here. My mistake. That is all you require?" His smile grew broader, more genuine as she offered him a little, hesitant nod. "That can be arranged, Miss Olivia."

Soon they sat down and were trying to hash out numbers and arrangements. She asked him if he had ever lived in the mountains before and a gave befuddled look.

"Nope!"

"I will warn you. It can get quite claustrophobic in the winters up here. There will be periods where we might not be able to leave the house for a few days. Power might go out, communication might be cut off, and we might start to run out of food... I need to know if you can handle those conditions."

She grabbed the paper they were loosely drawing a lease agreement on and started scribbling, mumbling as she wrote.

"I'm putting in a clause that if I find that you're unfit for the conditions here that I have the right to evict you. I know it's a little unfair, but I do live here alone, Mr. Emmet, and I have to prioritize my safety."

She expected to hear some rebuttal, some sort of outrage because now she was a little frantic. Nothing seemed to deter him. He wanted to stay here and nothing she said was swaying him. Olivia shouldn't have put that stupid sign up. She didn't need another tenant - having strangers in her home to fill the emptiness wasn't healing. She wanted so badly to ignore the ache.

"I am Emmet. That is agreeable. Safety is a top priority. "

Shit. She had a tenant. There was no escaping it.

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[stereax]

paragraph from a WIP? any of them. and if you are inclined, an over explanation behind the paragraph? examples if you are stuck: the vibes, the themes you wanted to hit, why you phrased something in a particular way, what music you were listening to when you wrote it and how that affected what you put down, why you like/dislike the paragraph… <3 i love to talk writing craft !! holding fins 🦈

Well, the one I was talking to you about a few weeks ago is nearly done (I think the writing IS done, just might need a stress test on whether things are too blatant or not), so have a bit from the other WIP I told you about that while back... under the cut :)

(in the background, my little radio head is spinning around and around and its antenna is stuck high up in the air and crackling happily... talking about writing...!!! holding your fin....... lettuce gooooo)

And before I post the rest of this, I'm not a fucking Rempe apologist, the kid should be WELL out of the NHL, I just get ideas about people I don't like and in this case it's an idea strong enough that I'm writing it. This is, to be fair, a common theme in my fiction (exploring a person/character I despise). But. Alright. Here we go. This is actually the part where the fic starts, so you're not missing out on context really.

-

Sometimes, Matt thinks he sees the world differently than everyone else.

It's like he blinks, sometimes, and there's this film separating him from other people. Like a bubble, all soapy and colorful, rainbows cascading down the corners of his vision.

Sometimes, he reaches his hand up to poke or press his hand against or even punch the bubble, depending on how he's feeling that hour. It's not real, though, even if it feels like he can see the rainbows ripple on the sides of his eyes, all staticky and prone to bursting into flames.

He's back at it again, lying on his bed somewhere in fucking Hershey or Wilkes-Barre or wherever it is today, arm lazily held up so his palm blocks the single light in the podunk hotel they're posted in. The light is annoying as hell; it's two shades too bright for a bedroom, plus it's the only light in the entirety of the room and fucking Korzy is reading some sort of artsy book that's wider than a puck 'cause the girl he's trying to bang is a Renaissance nerd. Matt's pretty sure his roommate is looking at the pictures more than he's actually reading the text, but it's the thought that counts or whatever.

-

And of course then this goes on to be a little character-revealing banter session between the two of them. Gotta figure out how to get out of that, I'm good at being in dialogue but the entries and exits are tough. And then, y'know. Stumble more along the fic. I don't have many plot details for this one, I have more vibes of what I want to explore. But:

Essentially, what I'm trying to do here is set the stage for the fic spinning forward. Matt "seeing the world differently" is, well, I don't want to say obvious foreshadowing, but it is. That bubble is going to be important, as it's a somewhat more "tangible" motif that can portray what's "wrong" with Matt, in a way, and serves as a proxy for his emotions too (the bubble bursting into flames when he hits the ice and squares up for a fight, the bubble shaking with static and pulsing red when he's suspended, the bubble shining with strong rainbows when he doesn't seem to be on the same wavelength as others and fading away when he does, etcetera etcetera). As the fic moves forward, we're going to see how he does see the world differently - how he takes in information about things, especially interactions with other people, that's maybe not exactly how "normal" people would, and how this influences his actions, which then seem irrational to people who don't see it in the way that he does.

For instance, with Korzy (Ryder Korczak) - Matt very patently thinks of him as The Guy I Room With (who is quite annoying, may he add) and not much else, despite them having spent months together and Korzy making an effort to include him in everything. He sees most of the Wolfpack, and a fair amount of the Rangers, too, solely as people he has to deal with, which is a far cry from Team As Family as we see very often in fic and even in real life.

As I'm thinking about it, I see him being introduced to the Rangers' locker room in a future section and him immediately locking in on Kreider as the main person he needs to be "in the green" with to keep a roster spot, and that's more or less how he thinks about it, too. When he's talking to players like Kakko, who he's competing for a spot with and who don't project as useful to him, he's flippant in his internal monologue, treating it as a Necessary Interaction, even if they're nothing but nice to him. It's not that he's not civil about it, but he really just doesn't care about the other rookies' attempts to include him in their friend group and their plans.

Also, for a dude who's kind of paranoid, having an entire "police" dedicated to wanting him to like. Not be a danger to everyone on the ice is the peak of "just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not watching you". It's a ton of pressure to be under and he doesn't handle pressure well, but you wouldn't know because he says the right things when the camera is on him. (The second it leaves, however, is a different story...)

Back to the excerpt at hand, though - some words are definitely deliberate choices. "Podunk" especially feels like a very Matt-like word - this from the guy who's said "jiminy crickets" live on camera before.

"Hershey or Wilkes-Barre" is a call to the Wolfpack schedule where they play those teams away back-to-back with less than 24 hours between the two puck drops (and probably close to only 18 hours rest between the two games) - at some point, it all blurs together to the point where you forget what town you're in, just that you're going from bus to hotel to game to bus to hotel to bus to game to hotel to bus to - you see what I mean here. And this is kicking in for Matt, too, the derealization of it all, years doing this in juniors and now more in the minors, never breaking free of The Grind in the way playing in the NHL would. And then when he does get to the NHL, he realizes it's the same thing, just on a bigger scale. Talk about a disappointment.

On music, I've got a mini playlist full of Vibes for this fic. Not gonna talk about that just yet, but there are Definitely ideas for that front.

Hope this helps? I'm so tired rn haha so if I don't sound coherent, you know why.