#the seasonal depression's been tough this year

[is-emily-real]

the souls who barter their pain for sweet relief

TW: suicidal ideation

Steve was on the edge again, staring down into the murky water and praying the dirt would crumble beneath him. That would be easier, wouldn’t it? It’s easier if it’s not his choice. He just doesn’t have to fight as hard as he used to. 

What was fighting for, if he didn’t have a safe place to return to? If he couldn’t guarantee that someone would care that he was gone?

He didn’t have friends anymore. He didn’t really have parents, never did, and the more he found out about himself, the further away they were. He could get their attention, tell them the truth and piss them off, goad his dad into killing him. At least it would be over. Maybe he’d be free then.

The December wind blew cold. It was pointless anyway. His whole life would just be this, looking over the edge of a cliff and waiting for someone to push him.

“Very lovely morning,” a cool voice drawled behind him. He turned.

The man took a drag on his cigarette, smoke curling like the dark hair framing his face. Red cheeks contrasted against a pale neck, and as another gust hit, he tucked further into his leather jacket.

Steve recognized him from school. “I suppose.”

Eddie Munson peered at the gray sky above them. “Missed you in Johnson’s earlier.”

“Did you?”

“Of course. It’s always a poor day when King Steve doesn’t grace us with his presence.”

He grimaced. “Hardly King Steve anymore.” The nickname left a bitter taste in his mouth.

“Maybe.” Tobacco crackled as it turned to ash at his fingertips.

“What are you doing out here?” He wanted to brood in peace.

“I could ask you the same question.” Eddie fixed him with curious brown eyes, waiting for an answer. He was beautiful when he wasn’t standing on a chair across the lunchroom.

And that was the whole problem.

Steve looked away, squirming under his gaze. “Didn’t feel like being there.” 

“Probably for the best. You know how she is.”

The silence lingered until Steve couldn’t bear it any longer. “How’d you know I was here?” he asked.

From the corner of his eye, he saw Eddie shrug. “You’re not as inconspicuous as you feel.”

He frowned. 

“Besides,” he said, “I’ve been here a time or two.”

It shouldn’t have shocked him as much as it did. “Have you?”

“They call me fag for a reason.” Eddie tossed what was left of his cigarette over the edge, watching until it became too small to see. “Long way down.”

“That’s the point.”

Slender fingers wrapped around his wrist, pulling him until he no longer faced the edge. The look in Eddie’s eyes was indecipherable as he picked up Steve’s hands, rubbing them between his own. “How long have you been outside?”

He shrugged, consumed by the way his fingers tingled as his blood began to flow into them again.

“Be a shame to die cold, wouldn’t it?” 

He couldn’t answer. He hadn’t given it that much thought, more swept up in the want than worried about the nature.

Eddie laced their hands together. “Come on,” he said, tugging him along, and eventually, they had the treeline between them and the quarry. Before he knew it, he was shoved into the back of a dingy van. Hints of tobacco and weed hit his nostrils as he sucked in warmer air.

How long had he been out there? What time was it? He shivered, coming back to his senses when a blanket draped around his shoulders. A shard of something like shame pierced his stomach. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled.

“It’s alright.” He pushed a flask into Steve’s hand. “Have some. Takes the edge off.”

He drank. The whiskey was like fire in his mouth, making him cough, but it burned as it went down. For that, he was grateful.

Eddie plucked the flask from his hands, taking a swig before stowing it away somewhere. “Wanna talk about it?”

“Not yet.”

Eddie nodded and leaned back against the carpet. His eyes flicked back and forth.

Steve followed them up. On the ceiling, white flecks danced against a dark blue. As he stared, the patterns started to become apparent. Constellations resided above them. 

“It’s pretty,” he commented.

“Took a while to do. I tried to put the Great Wheel up there, but I couldn’t make it look like it did in my head.” When he didn’t respond, Eddie continued. “Stars have always been comforting, just that idea that there’s something else out there and we’re not all alone in the universe.” 

“What if there isn’t?” 

“Then all we’ve got is each other.” He let that resonate, let the silence grow comfortable.

Steve looked away from the stars to study the lines of his face. His eyes were closed, long lashes resting against his cheeks. He traced the slope of his nose down to round, chapped lips. A 5 o’clock shadow ghosted across his jaw.

“How did you know?” The question was out before he knew it, and as much as he wanted to take it back, there was a thrill to leaving it to hang in the air.

Eddie didn’t open his eyes. “I always figured I was different, but I wasn’t sure until a girl kissed me on a dare in the sixth grade and all I could think about was how much better it would have been if she was her brother.”

“Oh.”

“Do you know? For sure?”

Steve flinched. “Why…?”

A smile quirked the corner of Eddie’s mouth. “You wouldn’t ask if you didn’t have questions.”

He stared at his hands. “Huh. Um… no. I don’t.”

“Did you love Nancy?”

“Yeah.”

“But?”

Something inside twisted. “But it always felt like something was missing. Then, when she left, it hit me that I didn’t have to pretend anymore.”

“I, uh, heard that argument,” Eddie said sheepishly.

“Oh, God,” he groaned. 

“I’m pretty sure it was just me, though. The most valuable teen in Hawkins dragging his pissed girlfriend to the bathroom at a party? That’s just free entertainment, as long as you’re sober enough to know it’s happening.”

He shook his head, fighting off a smile. “At least someone enjoyed it.”

“I’d say it’s in the top three best break-ups in Hawkins.”

That startled a laugh out of him. Eddie grinned, propping himself up on his elbows. His eyes sparkled with mirth.

It struck Steve again just how much he didn’t know about himself. It sent a pain through his heart, and his smile quickly faded. “How do you do it?”

“Do what?”

“You always seem so carefree, y’know? You’re able to make a joke out of everything.” Eddie frowned. “Sorry if that’s a weird question.”

“No, I’m good with the weird questions, it’s just… You can’t tell I’m faking it?”

“No? If you’re faking it, you’re the best I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen a lot of people try to fake happiness.”

There was that look he couldn’t decipher again. “You’ve looked? Like, truly looked?”

“I’ve tried.”

They stared at each other for a long moment. He watched the emotions play out on Eddie’s face, first questioning, then pleased, then mournful, flicking by in seconds as he tried to retain a neutral mask. Something akin to understanding settled over him. “It’s pretty lonely up there in your head, isn’t it?”

He had a knack for hitting the nail on the head. Steve felt exposed under his gaze, but somehow it was relieving, like someone was truly seeing him at his core. That was answer enough.

“Nobody’s gonna tell me anything I haven’t heard,” Eddie commented, “so why would I get angry? Better to put it towards something else.”

“I guess.”

A little line formed between his brows. “Who are you mad at?”

It was an innocuous question, but it made him think. Was it his parents for putting him here? Was it Nancy for forcing the confrontation onto him? Was it God for making him this way?

“Me, I think.”

“Why?”

“Because I feel like this. Because I can’t just be normal.” Tears pricked his eyes. “And I know it doesn’t matter, I do, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less.” He let his eyes unfocus, stared at the shape his hands became. “I could end it. I’m just too much of a coward.”

Arms wrapped around him, held him tight as his chest shook with sobs. He cried until he couldn’t breathe, let himself break down for the first time in a long time, all the while feeling the small circles being rubbed into his back. 

He tried to pull himself together. “I’m sorry,” he gasped, pulling out of Eddie’s grip. “I shouldn’t—”

“No.” It was soft but fierce. “You’re allowed to feel the way you do.”

Calloused fingers swiped away his tears, holding his face until he finally looked him in the eye.

His eyes were steady, more serious than he’d ever seen from Eddie, and the air practically crackled under the intensity. “There is nothing wrong with you. Nothing. I mean it.”

Steve’s heart raced, too aware of the limited distance between them. “But—”

“Listen to me. You’re amazing. You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met. I know your parents, I know your friends, they’re assholes, alright? You’ve come this far. Don’t give up on me yet.”

It was overwhelming, driving a wedge between his ribs and pushing, splitting him apart. “You don’t mean that.”

Sorrow clouded his face. “I do. I promise.”

Somewhere, deep in his chest, Steve wanted to believe him. He nodded, lacking confidence, then nodded again when the barest hint of a smile blossomed on Eddie’s lips. He wanted the grin back, wanted Eddie to be pleased with him, wanted to show him that he’d be okay despite his moments of weakness. He wanted to lay all his cards out, be honest in a way he’d never been.

“Can I tell you something really embarrassing?” was all he could manage.

Eddie nodded but didn’t let him go, either to encourage him or make sure he didn’t run. It really could have gone either way.

“You’re the reason I even questioned it.”

He heard the way Eddie swallowed, felt the slight tremor in his hands, watched his gaze dance between his eyes and lips. “Feel like testing your theory?” There was a little shake in his voice. It was endearing.

Steve leaned forward before he could second-guess himself.

It was soft, chaste, sweet, made his stomach flip and his head feel airy. He could feel the darkness pull away, sense its tendrils release from where they’d bound his mind and heart. It dulled the pain that had overwhelmed him and sent a tidal wave of calm through his veins. He could feel it in his shoulders, feel the knots loosen and the muscles relax.

He wouldn’t apologize for wanting this, not now, not when he’d finally found out how good freedom tasted.

He pulled back to study Eddie’s face. There was the smile he wanted, looking as giddy as he felt. 

“The world didn’t end,” he commented, and Steve laughed.

Boisterous voices in the distance made them spring apart. He shrugged out of the blanket, setting it softly in Eddie’s lap. “Thank you.”

“Anytime.” As Steve reached for the door handle, he said, “Listen, if you need anything—”

“I’ll call.” He could hear the inflection, that little bit of flirt and charm that had escaped him recently, and he felt that things might be back on track for him.

“You don’t have my number.”

He glanced back over his shoulder. Eddie’s eyes were wide, hopeful, hands clutching the blanket and practically begging him to stay.

But they both knew what being caught meant, and the tentative peace Steve had made with himself didn’t need to be broken yet. “I’ll find it,” he assured him. With that, he let the moment fade, stepping back into the winter air.

As he walked back to his car, he noticed the cold didn’t bite as hard as it used to.

[mamayaga]

Hm. Im starting to suspect i have summer SAD

[sc0tters]

Second Chance | Jamie Drysdale

summary: jamie might still have your mind but does he really have your heart?

request: yes/no

warnings: sexual themes, p in v, mild choking, mild degradation, jealous jamie, swearing.

word count: 3.68k

authors note: for how long this took me I’m embarrassed to admit to how short it is… this part two was also so freaking weird to write so I’m hoping it’s a bit better to read.

pt 1

You had grown to hate Anaheim.

The city was a shell of its former self with where the shadows of Jamie seemed to haunt your mind. Everywhere you looked you swore he was there and you hated being met with the reality that he wasn’t. But most of all you hated the fact that you couldn’t seem to hate him.

Trevor noticed the decline in your mood but he just assumed that it was some kind of seasonal depression. And as he focused on building his new relationship with his girlfriend, he simply didn’t notice how far you had fallen. Trying to grapple with life as a twenty year old was always going to be tough and still feeling the pain of a broken heart that was dealt to you by the man who you couldn’t ever call yours.

It was this weird sense of grief you felt. You couldn’t say that you missed him because then what was it that you missed? He wasn’t your boyfriend, and at best Jamie was the guy you slept with from time to time. To top it all off you were a barely keeping it all together whilst Jamie seemed to be unscathed from the unfortunate emotions, only furthering your pain.

Your friends put you on enough dating sites to last anyone a lifetime as you were the only one single. And as you finally stopped turning them down, they wouldn’t give you a chance to change your mind. With each guy you could only find his downfalls or how he wasn’t like Jamie and how your heart and your brain just wanted the man who clearly wanted nothing to do with you.

So after almost three months of struggling with all of these men that clearly weren’t enough to pull your mind from the grasps of Jamie; you finally found someone who made you feel alive and funnily enough he had been right in front of you all along. Alex started hanging out more with you when Trevor started spending more time with Dixie.

Alex had actually shown up at the Zegras siblings apartment one night looking for Trevor “hey Al.” You smiled as you saw the boy stand over you “is Trev in?”Aled asked as he cocked his head shoving his hands into his shorts pockets.

Your lips pursed together as you shook your head “he’s out on a date.” Your words made him wriggle his eyebrows as he laughed “I got that man dinner for nothing?” Every Wednesday the duo would go for dinner if they didn’t have a game and now it seemed that your brother forgot of that tradition.

You frowned sending him a sigh “if you’re up for an episode of the bachelor I could eat?” You offered opening the door further as you smiled tilting your head inwards “since you asked so nicely.” Alex didn’t hesitate to nod as he walked in making himself comfortable on the couch.

That’s how your weeks ended, with Alex on the couch and he was no longer just your brothers best friend but instead a friend of yours. You had to say that you found yourself falling for him. With Alex it was no longer tough to not think about Jamie, instead now it was tough to not let your body feel like it was on fire with nerves.

All the way in Philly sat Jamie as he frowned staring at his phone in his empty apartment. The sound of a notification pulled him from his daze when he realised that he had a voicemail from you. It surprised him when he saw your name but after months of letting his thumb hover over the call button only stopping when the fear of hearing you upset got to him. But instead he was met with the sounds of you in bed with someone else.

The sounds of your breathe shaking echoed in the phones speaker “fuck Al!” You moaned letting your legs shake “you are such a pretty fucking girl.” Alex mumbled as he ran his finger over your clit. It made Jamie freeze listening to you having sex. Was he meant to hang up? Because this clearly wasn’t meant for him.

You grabbed the boy by the back of his neck as you pulled him forward “gonna come.” You announced kissing his lips “go make a mess on my fingers and I’ll make you feel real good with my cock.” As the offer left Alex’s lips a flurry of jumbled sounds and noises left your mouth signalling that you had reached your high.

The sounds made Jamie recoil in disgust as he didn’t know what to do about it. Most of all though he missed being the one who made you sound like that. Jamie didn’t know what to do as he felt his cock hardening in his pants. The season had ended and he was meant to be heading home to his parents but all he could think about was you. There were no rumours on twitter about you and this Al that Jamie swore was Turcotte.

And he knew that Twitter would have found something as they even had scraps of you and Jamie together swirling around the rumour mill. So as he was met with nothing but random pictures of you and Trevor, Jamie knew what he had to do.

You groaned when you were woken up to the incessant pounding on your door when you realised that Trevor was still out “alright I’m coming!” You complained rubbing the sleep from your eyes.

Before you could even properly open the door it was pushed into you as the raven haired boy that you knew so well walked in “where is he?” Jamie grunted looking around the pristinely clean apartment “where is who?” You yawned wondering if you were dreaming of Jamie being there.

The boy stopped planting his feet where he was as he sent you a harsh glare “the man you fucked last night y/n!” His words made you freeze as you began to wonder how he knew about what you had done the night before.

A laugh echoed through your ears “you gonna tell me you don’t remember giving me that front row seat to listen in?” your eyes went wide as you realised what had gone on.

You couldn’t help but bring your hand to your mouth as you held back a laugh “you came back because you heard me have sex?” You knew it wasn’t the time to bring it up but that clearly seemed to be his entire reason for being there and you were a fool to think that it could have been something else.

Jamie rolled his eyes as he felt himself grow angry “I leave for Philly and all of a sudden you’re deciding that your type simply has to be friends with your brother.” The flyer spat as he sent you a glare “you don’t get to go there!” The embarrassment you once held had left your chest as it had been replaced by anger.

He rolled his eyes as he crossed his arms “why not?” Jamie spoke rhetorically as he cocked his head “because that’s the only thing we have in common.” He pointed out reminding you of how different the boys were.

You chewed at the inside of your cheek “you left me and came back to judge me for moving on?” Your voice was barely a whisper as the boy stepped closer to you.

Part of you was grateful for the fact that Alex left earlier that morning needing to catch a flight back to Michigan but the other part just wanted him to walk into the living room to stop whatever was going to come from this “you didn’t really move on though, did ya?” Jamie’s fingers were rough against your cheek as he towered over you.

A shaky breath left your lips “you’re being mean.” You pointed out trying your best to ignore his question “tell me to leave and I will.” Jamie announced pressing a cold and hard gaze against your weakening one.

The oxygen around the room was struggling to get into your lungs as you shook your head “you know I can’t.” It came with this defeated sigh that even made Jamie pity you “then why’d you go for him?” The question was like the one you had asked yourself so many times and could never find the answers to.

You shrugged as no answer really made the most sense “you enjoyed playing him is that it?” The hockey player was pushing your buttons in search of a particular answer “he’s good to me J.” You shook your head almost offended that the boy in front of you thought that lowly of you.

Yet it gave him the chance to laugh at you once more “better than I was?” It seemed like that was the first question you could actually shake off as you shook your head but this time to really say no “does he have you coming for rounds on end?” Especially once Jamie moved into out from the Zegras sibling’s apartment; it meant that you were over at his more often than not and up until the sun would rise.

Tears welled in your waterline “only you do that.” It was as though his cock left an imprint on your cunt that only he knew how to make feel full “I know my sweet girl.” You really thought that you had moved on from Jamie but as he stood in front of you with his hand caressing your cheek, you knew that you couldn’t have been more wrong.

Jamie put you out of your misery as his free hand gripped at your hip “how about I make you feel real fucking good?” He offered letting his lips hover over yours “please.” Was all the hockey player needed to hear as he picked you up letting your legs wrap around his waist as his lips locked with yours.

All of the lust and anger that both of you felt about the situation -about each other- was oozing out of your systems as your hands tugged through his hair pulling at the roots as his tongue slid into your lips “should fuck you out here like the real slut that you are.” He proposed letting a smirk form across his lips as he watched your eyes go wide.

Trevor had told you he was coming home, you just didn’t know when “Jim.” You whined shaking your head as you motioned your bedroom trying to tell him that today wasn’t the time for it “you worried that your little boy toy is gonna come back to see where you really belong?” Jamie nipped at your neck as he walked you both into your room making sure that the door was shut.

He watched in awe as your eyes scanned his face “his name is Alex, Jamie.” You reminded the boy as you felt guilty thinking about how sweet Alex was to you “and I’m gonna make sure you forget it.” Jamie’s announcement didn’t have you thinking otherwise as he placed you onto your bed settling into his place between your legs.

You had seen Jamie jealous before after you chugged a beer that Mason had given you. But this was a whole new level as if Jamie had something to prove “now rest that pretty little head of yours on that pillow f’me.” The hockey player reached behind you to grab your pillow as he pulled it closer to you.

One thing you always knew how to do was listen to him and today you didn’t disappoint. Your body nestled against your sheets as you looked at him with anticipation “god you’re soaked.” Jamie grunted seeing your soaked cunt as he trailed his fingers against your slit watching in awe as your wetness stuck to fingers.

He swore that the sight would truly never get old as he would watch you like this forever “please.” Your voice waivered as you forced your hips into the air “been thinking about having a taste of this all the fucking time.” Jamie confessed making you meet him with a whimper.

His lips pressed against your knee “Jamie.” You groaned feeling his breath go down your legs as he made sure to spread his love equally “yeah baby.” The hockey player turned his head up to look at you as you chewed at your lower lip.

A mewl left your lips “please fuck me.” You begged feeling desperate to feel him between your thighs again “don’t think you’re in a position to be making demands.” Jamie clicked his tongue as he blew a cool air against your cunt “not after you were fucking him on our bed.” He didn’t even give you a chance to respond as his tongue latched onto your clit.

Your hands gripped at your sheets in an attempt to stop your body from curling into itself “‘m sorry.” You croaked out as your body melted into his touch

Jamie might as well have been a starved man as he treated you like you were his last meal “can’t believe you let him see my sweet tight pussy.” The boy raised his lips only far enough to bring his hand between you both so that he could hit your cunt.

It made you moan as your body shook “he would let me come.” You knew you were playing with fire as the hockey player sent you a glare “that pretty little mouth of yours is gonna get you in so much trouble.” Jamie warned edging dangerously close to you as he smirked.

You used the last bits of power and strength that you had left to smile “you used to deal with that by putting your cock in my mouth.” You swore that in that moment Jamie was seeing the devil as his pupils darkened “that’s before I had to treat you like somebody else’s whore.” He spat letting his fingers grip onto your hips as he turned you over resulting in a yelp leaving your lips.

Your didn’t often deceive you but in that moment you swore you heard Jamie grunt into your ear “you just had to go and give this pretty little cunt to someone who didn’t even deserve it.” Jamie clicked his tongue as he undid his belt.

You gripped at your sheets as you felt your shirt come off of your back as it was lifted up “see he isn’t a fan of you back here.” The hockey player mumbled to himself as your back looked untouched “at least I know your ass is still mine then.” He squeezed your ass in his fingers causing a breathy moan to leave your lips.

You couldn’t help but shake your ass pushing yourself into him “god I need to fuck you.” Jamie groaned feeling his cock throb as he felt your bare cunt grind against him “what are you waiting for then?” The question taunted him practically egging him on as you push his buttons further.

The swollen tip of his cock oozed precum as he wrapped his hand around his shaft “you’re lucky that I can’t get this cunt out of my head.” He grumbled pumping himself once then twice before he dragged the mushroom head over your slit.

It made your body tense as you curled your toes “fuck!” Your moan was swallowed by your pillow as Jamie smirked to himself “seems like you been missing me too.” The hockey player gripped at your hips as he let himself bottom you out.

Both of you stayed there for a moment as your walls hugged his length “like I never even left ya.” Jamie gritted his teeth as he began to pick up the pace of his thrusts feeling his eyes flutter “was worried he would have ruined my pretty fucking pussy.” The boy spat oozing with jealousy as it made you whimper.

Tears formed in your waterline when your ass was met with a smack “no!” You cried as you shook your head “don’t worry doll.” Jamie kissed the back of your neck as his hands slid under you to cup your breasts.

The sounds of his thrusts echoed in your ears “could never ruin something that wasn’t his.” Your cunt clenched around Jamie as you were aroused by his possessiveness “you like hearing me say that you’re all mine huh?” You could feel his smirk like the Cheshire Cat as you nodded.

Jamie’s knees dipped into the mattress as he got the best angle into you “all yours.” You moaned as you turned your head up to see him looking back down at you “knew you still had a brain in that pretty head of yours.” The hockey player kissed your cheek as his cock throbbed from within you.

Your breasts bounced with each thrust of his cock “don’t stop J.” You begged feeling a coil snap in your stomach “you feel you haven’t had a good fuck in months.” Jamie wasn’t lying when he said that, your cunt stretched to his cock and it was as though he hadn’t been with you before.

Cries let your lips as you babbled a steady stream of incoherent nonsense “make me feel so full.” Tears streamed down your cheeks as your legs began to shake “you feel me in here?” Jamie asked pressing his hand against your lower stomach where he felt his cock hit your gspot that left you yelping out in pleasure.

His fingers slid lower to rub your clit “fuck I’m gonna come.” You announced not thinking that you would be able to last much longer “gonna hold it until you ask nicely.” Jamie clicked his tongue as his free hand was quick to move to your neck as he pulled you closer to him as he held you upright.

Sweat stuck your both of you as his thrusts began to grow unstable and inconsistent “please let me come.” You called out not caring who could hear you “just want to be all yours.” You nodded feeling your vision get blurry as you didn’t think you were going to last much longer.

Jamie let his teeth sink into your shoulder as he stopped himself from coming in that moment “you never gonna let him get close to your pretty cunt ever again?” Jamie spat pressing his fingertips over the sides of your throat.

You swore your throat was raw as you kept on begging to have him let you come “I’m only yours Jamie.” You mumbled nodding as your ears began to ring “you fucking own me.” That was enough to let Jamie go feral as he used the little energy he had left to practically fuck you into oblivion “just go make a mess on my cock doll.” The order wasn’t something he needed to say twice.

As your cunt clenched around him it triggered the hockey players orgasm on as he spurted his warm load in sticky strings against your cunts walls “fuck J.” You whined writhing against him as you practically forgot how to breathe when the oxygen to your brain began to slow.

It took him a few more thrusts until you both landed on your mattress and his hand left your neck “wow.” Jamie mumbled sliding his cock out from your cunt to see your release mix either his as it oozed out “you okay?” He added flipping you over onto your back as you finally got the chance to look at him.

The way his eyes scanned you deep of concern made you laugh “that was the hottest thing I think you’ve ever done.” You confessed making him match your laugh as he leaned down to kiss you “think I can make it a little hotter then.” Jamie proposed running his hand down your slit before he scooped up whatever release that had oozed from your cunt as he now let it go back into your core as he pushed his fingers through your hole.

That day left an imprint on your mind as four weeks had gone by and Jamie had become nothing more than one of Trevor’s friends. Confessions seemed to way less than your brothers tears as he drunkenly sobbed into your arms one night begging you to end whatever it was after he found you in Jamie’s shirt.

Thankfully Trevor seemed to have no recollection of the conversation as he invited Jamie along to the family house on the lake a little over a month from now. Sure it was going to be weird for you but after a long call with Jamie you both agreed that it was going to be best for things to end for the sakes of Trevor.

He tried to put up a fight but when you brought up distance amongst other factors, Jamie knew he had lost the battle. You and Alex were merely enjoying things the way they were.

It was the perfect balance that truly didn’t need a label to have you feeling secure. Yet as you stood in the bathroom waiting for your timer to go off part of you began to curse your big brother for having to come to you, and for you having to be a good person.

Your period had been late and as it was bikini season you never complained but when you did the math backwards you realised that something was off. Even if you had shared your bed with two different guys, only one had you without any kind of protection between you both was Jamie.

And as you flipped the test over to see the thick bold letters spelling out the word PREGNANT you knew you were in all sense of the word fucked. No amount of tears was ever going to help make this situation better as you began to panic. Your head pressed against your knees as you wanted to wake up from this dream.

Al 🖤: just booked my flight see you next month x

[vettelsdarling]

Could you please do a Charles x Schumacher!reader insta au? Where she’s a chef and they both do a soft launch. I don’t really have much of an idea but can you make it a bit long? Not like with text but just a lot of posts? I hope I’m requesting right lol

I really liked your Danny insta au

Crème De La Crème, Ma Chérie

Lissie note… I really like the idea of reader being a chef! Haven’t seen that before??? You’re giving me a lot of creative freedom and I could not be happier<3 Thanks for this!!!

Few things to note:

Reader is Mick’s twin sister, and Gina’s younger sister.

Reader is a Michelin star chef (one star)

Reader is famous (obviously)

This follows the 2022 season

Reader and Charles have been dating since the beginning of the 2021 season (1 year)

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Fem!Chef!Reader

Warnings: Some cursing, gut wrenching fluff

Here's the playlist recommendations

y/nschumacher

Liked by charles_leclerc, mickschumacher, gina_schumacher and 836,236 others

y/nschumacher Movie date and a home-cooked meal for him❤️

View all comments

mickschumacher You should invite us over for dinner soon… miss your cooking🙏

gina_schumacher Yes pleaseee!!

francisca.cgomes AHHH it looks SO GOOD😩 Where’s my share?🤨

user1 great dinner but WHO IS THAT🫣🫣🫣

user2 She’s allowed to date yk

user1 no need to be rude. I was just wondering who it was…

user3 It’s clearly a boyfriend that she doesn’t wanna reveal or something

user4 A SOFT LAUNCH???😭

user5 MOTHER NOOO😭😭😭😭

user6 Byebye… to my parasocial relationship…

user7 I haven’t seen her like this before and idk if I like it😭

user8 He never has to pay for dinner again💀💀💀

charles_leclerc

Liked by pierregasly, y/nschumacher and 1,184,339 others

charles_leclerc Tough weekend so far but we’ll improve for the next weekend.

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y/nschumacher Good luck next week!

user1 Somebody save him😭❤️

user2 y/n in the comments?

user3 She switched from Haas to Ferrari💀 Wonder what Mick has to say about that

user2 omg💀💀💀

user4 Seems suspicious…

user3 I mean, I don’t think so? She’s great friends with everyone on the track.

user5 Not Ferrari again😭😭😭 WHYYY

user6 Atp I don’t even wanna watch the races anymore😭 It’s just depression on a screen😭😭😭

user7 Ferrari is making him delusional💀 No way they’re ever gonna improve…

user8 I’m still hopeful😞🫶

user9 Tbh I’ve given up

y/nschumacher

Liked by mickschumacher, charles_leclerc and 735,229 others

y/nschumacher November dump🌅🍂 He tried to challenge my cooking. Bold move, sir… bold move.

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mickschumacher I doubt it tasted good😒

y/nschumacher It was actually really good

mickschumacher Biased.

y/nschumacher 🙄

carlossainz55 It was nice having you in the Ferrari garage for a change

Liked by y/nschumacher

gina_schumacher I miss you :/

y/nschumacher I’m coming to visit soon🫶

gina_schumacher You better

maxverstappen1 Red Bull > Ferrari

y/nschumacher No.

user1 since when did she become a Ferrari girl—

user2 wtaf is going on😭

user3 why are there so many drivers in her comments all of a sudden💀

user4 she’s soft launching. Mother is soft launching.

user5 Please leave him for me❤️

user6 No she’s leaving him for me😒

user7 Um no. She’s obviously leaving him for me🙄

user8 You’re all wrong. It’s always been me.

user9 Okay but whoever she’s dating is so lucky. Home-cooked Michelin meals? That’s literally living my dream.

user10 Ugh it’s so unfair. This guy should be ashamed he stole a national treasure

user11 I second that statement

user12 What’s with the new insta era😭 Pls post more food pics😔

wagsoff1

56,297 likes

wagsoff1 You heard it here first…

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user1 EXCUSE ME???? THIS WAS A YEAR AGO???

user2 wtaf this came out of nowhere…

user3 but where’s the proof😭

user4 It’s probably fake since there’s no proof

user5 I bet all the 13 yr olds and their parasocial relationships are disintegrating rn

user6 yeah um I won’t believe it until I see it💀

charles_leclerc

Liked by y/nschumacher and 855,970 others

charles_leclerc Drank some wine and went out for dinner for the first time in a long time😘

View all comments maxverstappen1 Wine and oysters, but you didn’t invite me…

charles_leclerc Sorry mate. Next time!

pierregasly Thanks for the date idea mate

Liked by charles_leclerc

user1 ig @ wagsoff1 was right

user2 Why am I crying

user3 This is genuinely so cute🤍

user4 His gf is so lucky

user5 WHO IS ITTTT

user6 Honestly, we should just look out for her at the paddock.

user7 We gotta wait for the next season for that…

user6 I forgot😭 I don’t want to wait so long ughhh

user8 Well, there goes my husband.

user9 Does anyone know who it is?

user10 I have an idea it’s someone we all know…

user9 Who?

user10 Dms

francisca.cgomes

Liked by y/nschumacher and 84,293 others

Tagged: y/nschumacher

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francisca.cgomes Girls night🥂🪩

y/nschumacher Same time next week?

francisca.cgomes Obviously🤍

pierregasly You cancelled date night for this?

francisca.cgomes It’s. Girls. Night.

pierregasly Understandable, have a nice day.

user1 IN LOVE WITH THIS FRIENDSHIP

user2 Me and my bestie when exam season is over:

user3 Literally

user4 Since when did they start hanging out🫣

user5 They’ve been friends for a long time, actually💀

user4 Oh okay I didn’t know😭

user5 Two pretty best friends🫶

y/nschumacher

Liked by charles_leclerc, gina_schumacher, mickschumacher and 763,298 others

Tagged: gina_schumacher

y/nschumacher I should stick to cooking… fell off so many times. How do you do it???

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gina_schumacher You’ll get there with practice!

y/nschumacher If I mount another horse, I will die.

charles_leclerc I’m sure you did great❤️

y/nschumacher I didn’t, but thank you❤️

mickschumacher Watching you fall was great entertainment

y/nschumacher At least I didn’t refuse to get on the horse😒

user1 WHAT WHAT WHATTTTT CHARLES??? THE HEARTS????

user2 wtaf this is insane😭

user3 is this their idea of a soft launch wtf😭

user4 they really just act as if it’s known💀💀

user 3 Literally💀

user5 so basically, Charles and Y/n?

user6 That explains why Charles wrote that one caption

user5 what caption?

user6 The one where he said he hadn’t been out for dinner in a long time

user5 whaaaat you’re right

user7 How did we not see this coming…

user8 I mean, they might not be dating? They could just be close friends…

user9 Nah, there’s no way

user8 You don’t know that

charles_leclerc

Liked by y/nschumacher, pierregasly, maxverstappen1 and 1,173,994 others

charles_leclerc She took me wine shopping…

View all comments y/nschumacher She looks like she knows what she’s doing

charles_leclerc I hope she knows..?

maxverstappen1 Mate, she’s a keeper.

charles_leclerc I know

user1 Charles pls😭 We all know that’s Y/n

user2 I’ve been living under a rock. What’s going on???

user3 Y/n Schumacher is a Michelin chef (and also Mick’s sister). Basically there are rumours that Charles is dating her. They haven’t confirmed it, but it’s pretty obvious by their soft launch…

user2 I was gone for a few months from social media and this is what I come back to?😭

user4 Charles has taste

user5 She’s literally a goddess

user6 Ugh he’s so lucky but she’s also lucky… idk who I want to be. Both???

user7 relatable.

charles_leclerc and y/nschumacher

Liked by mickschumacher, y/nschumacher, maxverstappen1 and 1,482,663 others

charles_leclerc I don’t even know where to begin. I’ve had so much fun with you this past year. Happy 2 years anniversary❤️ Tu es créme de la créme, ma chérie❤️

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y/nschumacher Mein Süßer❤️

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mickschumacher Congrats guys!

francisca.cgomes This is so cute😭❤️

gina_schumacher So happy for you guys🤍

maxverstappen1 Congrats!

pierregasly When’s the wedding?

francisca.cgomes Don’t push them like that

pierregasly Sorry.

francisca.cgomes No, I actually also want to know @ y/nschumacher🤨

y/nschumacher Wedding??! Too early… but maybe we’ll start talking over a steak dinner…

𝗥𝗲𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗼𝗽𝗲𝗻...

𝘾𝙝𝙚𝙘𝙠 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙧𝙪𝙡𝙚𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙧𝙚𝙜𝙪𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨 𝙗𝙚𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙥𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙚!

𝙃𝙚𝙧𝙚’𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙢𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩

©vettelsdarling

𝗣𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲 𝗱𝗼 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗼𝗿 𝗮𝗱𝗮𝗽𝘁 𝗺𝘆 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸 𝗶𝗻 𝗮𝗻𝘆 𝘄𝗮𝘆, 𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗲, 𝗼𝗿 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺— 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗺𝘆 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗺𝗶𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻.

[mayajadewrites]

jjk men x christmas morning

prompt: christmas morning with the jjk men

mentioned: geto, gojo, nanami, choso, and toji

christmas fluff hehe ❄🎄🎅🏻🎄❄

authors note: for toji's one shot, megumi is 5-6 years old

suguru geto: Suguru tends to seep into seasonal depression during the holidays, so Christmas morning isn't as magical as it was when you were a child. He keeps to himself, making sure his mental health stays afloat while also being present for you.

This holiday season has been especially tough for him and your relationship, but you will do anything to make it work.

After tossing and turning for almost an hour, you finally meek up the courage to wake Suguru up.

"Sugu." You whisper, watching his chest move with his breaths. His eyes fluttered open, revealing his chocolate eyes.

"Good morning my love." Suguru half smiled, kissing your forehead.

"Merry Christmas Suguru." You bury yourself in his chest, while his arms wrap around your body.

"Merry Christmas. Do you want to go downstairs?"

"Why? I haven't brought the presents down yet." You tilt your head curiously.

Suguru was silent as he grabbed your hand and led you out of the bedroom. The apartment you shared with Suguru was so cozy and warm, making it hard to ever leave.

You walk down the stairs and see the Christmas tree lit up with piles of presents underneath it, along with a tray of cookies with a bite taken out of one.

"You did this? For me?" You grab Suguru, hugging him tightly.

"This is your favorite holiday, I wasn't gonna let you wake up and not feel the magic." He pressed his lips to yours gently, pulling his body into yours.

"You're gonna be such a great father." You look up into the pools of chocolate in his eyes.

Suguru did a double take when you said that.

"Are you...?"

You grab the small present on top of the table with a red bow, handing it to Suguru. "Merry Christmas, Suguru."

As Suguru neatly opened the present, his eyes lit up when he saw what was inside the box. A pregnancy test with the word "positive" as well and a + sign.

"Baby," Suguru paused and twists the test hin his hands. "Are you sure?"

"Yes. I wouldn't want to start a family with anyone else." You rubbed your stomach lightly.

⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆

satoru gojo: Satoru adores Christmas. Since you moved in with him, he has hyped up the holidays and how much he decorates his home.

The place you share with Satoru is currently covered in green, red, elves, and Santa Claus. Every single room looks like a scene from a Christmas movie.

"Sweetness." Satoru said in a sing-song way from the kitchen. "Come here."

You listen, Satoru hearing the your feet pad through the hallway.

"Yes, Satoru?"

"Look what I got!" He held up a mistletoe, his glasses on the bridge of his nose. His eyebrows looked almost cartoon like as they moved.

"Very cute." You watch as he lifts the mistletoe over his head and purses his lips. You push yourself onto your tip-toes and kiss his lips softly before he pulled you back in to snake his tongue into your mouth.

"Satoru," You giggle, gently pushing his chest. "Let's open gifts now. We have to head to my parents house soon."

"Well, they love me so we can be as late as we want."

"We're not going to be late to my parents Christmas dinner because you cannot keep it in your pants."

Satoru rolled his eyes, sticking his tongue out. "Not like you weren't thinking about it too."

You turn around to go to the Christmas tree, noticing all of the mistletoes hanging from several spaces in your home. "Satoru...."

"It's gonna take us awhile to get to the tree." He picked you up and wrapped your legs around his waist, stealing a kiss. "Merry Christmas, sweetness."

⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆

kento nanami: Kento Nanami finds the holiday season exhausting - working long hours so he can afford to get you anything and everything you want for Christmas. At the end of the day, however, he loves the smile that appears on your face when you see Christmas lights and decorations. Christmas mornings with you consist of a eating Christmas cookies and baking other treats - something you and Nanami enjoy doing together.

"Kento, what shape should I make this batch?" You hold up two different cookie cutters. "Snowman or Santa?"

"Hm..." Kento tapped his chin, glancing at each of the cutters. "Santa. It's Christmas morning."

"Good choice." You smile as you pressed the Santa shape to the cookie dough. "Can you pass me the chocolate chip cookie dough?"

"Of course, beautiful." He grabbed the bowl and brought it to you, moving a piece of hair out of your face. "God, how did I get so lucky?"

"You are so sweet." You look into Kento's eyes, watching him study every detail of your face. "Thank you for making this Christmas morning my best yet." You mix the dough, bringing the spoon to Kento's mouth. "Taste."

Kento opened his mouth to let the spoon in and nodded in approval. "Amazing. I almost can't wait for them to be done already."

"It's my grandma's top secret recipe." You wiggle your hips with excitement, scooping the dough onto the baking sheet.

"I can't wait to meet her today." Kento wrapped his arms around you from behind, resting his chin on your shoulder. "You speak to highly of her."

"Christmas is her favorite holiday, like me." You lean back onto Kento's chest. "She's the best."

"I don't doubt it." Kento planted a kiss on your cheek before walking to the living room. "Let's watch a Christmas movie while we bake. Love Actually?" He held up the remote in your line of vision.

"It's like you were made for me."

⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆

choso kamo: Choso is a family man. He adores his brothers so much that he wants you to get along with them just as much as he does. Specifically, his little brother Yuji Itadori. You spent Christmas Eve with his family at their cabin, fully immersing yourself in Choso's family.

Christmas morning was full of wrapping paper and Christmas songs – the picture perfect Christmas.

"Baby, are you enjoying yourself?" Choso sat next to you on the couch. "You're quiet."

"I'm just... taking everything in, Choso. I've never had a Christmas morning like this. Laughs, smiles, music, all of it."

You never had a big family like this and adore how much Choso loves his family.

"I'm so glad you're here." He kissed your temple, glancing at Yuji. "He loves your gift the most I think."

You gifted Yuji a polaroid camera – he mentioned a couple of times that he loves having photos from moments that he wants to remember forever.

"I hope he loves it."

"He will never love it as much as I love you." Choso closed the space between you, pressing his lips to yours gently. His hand caressed your face, causing you to smile against his lips.

"Choso!! Get a room!" Yuji whined.

⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆

toji fushiguro: As a single dad, Toji has a hard time with Christmas. His son, Megumi, is his world but he has never been great at the whole Santa thing. This year, you helped him bring the magic.

"Daddy!" Megumi ran out of his room, gasping as he saw the decorations. Toji helped you set up the cookies, while taking (several) bites out of them, a gulp of milk, and shoe prints (Toji had to put on his work boots, walking through the house as quietly as he could so he didn't wake Megumi up) to make it look like Santa was there.

"Santa was here! Look at all the presents!!" Megumi hugged Toji's legs, earning a head pat from Toji.

You're leaning against the doorway in your bedroom that you share with Toji, smiling at your boyfriend being a dad. Toji turned around and flashed a smile at you, waving his hand for you to come over to them. He handed you a cup of freshly made coffee, briefly kissing your lips before Megumi interrupted.

"Look!!" Megumi called your name. "Santa came!"

"Oh wow!" You kneel down to Megumi's level, gasping at the piles of presents. "You must've been at the top of the nice list this year."

Megumi began opening his presents, showing both of you every one he got from Santa.

"You did good." Toji kissed the top of your head, wrapping his muscular arm around your waist.

"We did good." You emphasized the we, leaning into Toji's side. You sipped your coffee and watched Megumi open all of his gifts, then there was one left in the tree.

"Megumi, are you gonna open that one?" You look at the small box in the tree, not remembering setting that up last night.

"That's yours from Daddy."

"What?" You look at Toji as he walked to the tree and grabbed the box. Next thing you know, he's on one knee.

"Will you marry me?" Toji smiled as he opened the small box, your dream ring shining in the morning sun.

⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆

authors note: merry christmas everyone!! i had fun writing these, i've had these one shots on my list of to dos for awhile and i loveeeeee me some jjk men!!

[tarotwithavi]

Random things about your 2023 . Short reading

Masterlist ⋇⋆✦⋆⋇ paid reading

✧༺♥༻✧

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

1 2 3

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

Pile 1

Hello pile 1 , I'm seeing that you're very closed off to new opportunities right now and might be addicted or obsessed with something that isn't good for you and life will make you get rid of your toxic habits by a tower moment in your life. You just have some toxic cycles going repeating constantly in your life and it is going to change in the year 2023 .

Pile 1 , I see you getting your spiritual awakening in the year 2023 . This is going to be a tough cycle for you but remember it's for the best of you. I see that sometimes you might feel like doing nothing and just letting things flow on their own pace.

You have a weird way of looking at people, I'm sorry but weird is not the right word for it but it's just that you see people as something you should stay away from and you see World as a dangerous place. And that's why you mostly stay indoors. That perspective of you is good to change soon after you have your awakening.

I get that you might suffer from seasonal depression and it might be in the months of may - june. These two months are going to be life changing for you. Something great with happen in these two months that'll make you love life again.

I don't know if you know about Krishna consciousness, but it's a great thing. I've heard that it works wonders for people and changes their life for the best.

If you're thinking of travelling abroad I see you travelling in different countries.

You might get financial help from someone or you're going to help someone financially.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

Pile 2

Alright pile 2 , 2023 is going to be your rich bitch era. Like money is going to be attracted to you. If you're family is having some financial problems they are going to be solved.

I see you connecting more with a female figure in your family. It could be your mother, grandmother , sister or even your best friend.

If are manifesting something right now , I see all of your manifestations coming true in the year 2023 .

If your into LGBTQ community I see coming out to your family and your family accepting you the way your are. This message is specifically for my lesbians, you're going to get a girlfriend.

My artists are going to get a lot of recognition for their artwork! And I see a lot of you getting in tune with your inner child.

If you live away from your family , I see you reuniting with them. And going out for a picnic with them. This year is very positive for this pile! It's so sweet!

A lot of you are going to meet your twinflame / soul mate soon. You'll most likely meet them through family or friends. I'm seeing a celebration, so you can meet them in a party, wedding etc.

I see you finding your soul purpose and destiny. I don't know it just came into my mind. I am seeing a boat reaching the coast idk take how it resonates.

If you've been manifesting your other half, I see you meeting your counterpart. A lot of you are going to experience true love.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

Pile 3

Pile 3 I feel like you're not listening to your intuition and that might get you in a toxic Situationship. If your get odd feelings from someone like goosebumps , odd feeling in your guts stay away form that person. They're not good for you.

Alright so what I sense is that you might encounter a fake tarot reader or a scammer so stay alert. If someone tells you to do spells on your own , never do it. Because spells are very powerful and they can backfire.

Though it's okay if you do beauty rituals like having aura cleansing bath, a simple beauty spell . But love spells can back fire very easily. And never I mean NEVER involve yourself in black magic.

I see getting a lot of proposals from men who want to court you. Choose Carefully because one of them might be a obsessive lover.

If don't have good relations with your father, you might need to cut your relations with him. More like I see that your father is too controlling and you decide to go against him which will result in some arguments.

I See you reuniting with your old friends.

I see you getting victory and recognition for your work. But remember not to be over prideful ( lol is that even a word? )

If you're pregnant I see you giving birth to a healthy baby boy. And if you're thinking of having a baby I see you conceiving. '

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

[samanthaswishes]

I watched The Legend of Korra for the first time 6 months ago, and it quickly became one of my favorite shows along with Agents of SHIELD, and I've been meaning to make this post since then, but I keep forgetting.

I wish Agents of SHIELD treated Daisy's trauma the way The Legend of Korra treated Korra's trauma.

Daisy and Korra are very similar characters, but it is kinda funny (not funny for them, very sad for them but funny that it happened this way) that coincidentally both of them experience extreme physical and mental trauma at the end of their third seasons and had to deal with the aftermath during their fourth seasons.

In the case of Daisy, she was belittled and torn down by the people that were supposed to be her family because she took some time away and was told to get over it. I've made several posts about how much I hated that treatment of her trauma. Daisy was only away for six months, yet the SHIELD team, mostly Fitz, tore into her for "turning her back" on them. Which she didn't, but again, I've made posts about this, so I won't get into it. Then when she came back and was struggling with her powers, she was then again belittled, by you know who, for not being at the level she used to be. Her powers, though very much needed, were taken advantage of.

However, in the case of Korra, who was away to recover for three years, had very a supportive treatment from her family and friends. When she wanted to rush her healing, she was told that she was allowed to take as much time as she needed to heal. And even when she was stuck in her own depression and anger, everyone was understanding. They would actually talk to Korra, hoping that she would push herself to heal, but not forcing it upon her. And when Korra's power wasn't exactly up to scale, no one blamed her for it and was very understanding of that too (except President Raiko, but no one likes him, so he doesn't count).

Both Daisy and Korra received a "tough love" aspect in their shows, Daisy from May and Korra from Toph. Those talks weren't belittling (Okay, Toph was a little belittling, but that's just Toph, and she means it in the best way). They were actually what pushed both Daisy and Korra that they weren't alone in their healing, and being around others could actually help them.

All in all, say what you want about The Legend of Korra in regards to how it compares to its predecessor Avatar: The Last Airbender, one of the best pieces of media I've watched, it does an amazing job at portraying trauma and healing (ATLA did too, but I was just felt so connected to TLOK's storyline). I know I probably left out a lot of other details about her healing, but I also don't want to give too much spoilers in case someone who hasn't watched the show reads this and maybe wants to check it out one day.

Again, I just wish Agents of SHIELD, my favorite show ever, treated Daisy, my favorite character of all time, and her traumas with the same respect and care that TLOK did for Korra.

[dreamypqulson]

— everything is icy and blue, and you would be there too

summary: cordelia knows you’ve been feeling down this holiday season so she brings the holiday cheer to you.

pairing: cordelia goode x reader

word count: 1100

warnings: mention of depression but it’s not a depressing fic :)

Cordelia walks into her bedroom that she shares with you. The room is dim and she can hardly see you bundled under a pile of blankets on the bed. You haven't got up at all today. At least she hasn't seen you get up. She's worried.

Christmas is your favorite holliday. Every year you outdo yourself; decorating, checking off every Christmas activity, and making sure Cordelia and all the girls at the academy are having a great holiday.

However, this year has been tough on you mentally. By now, the last month of this year, you're completely drained. You don't feel the Christmas magic like you do every year. Hell, you even forgot that it was December.

You don't want to do anything.

What's the point?

Cordelia walks over to the bed. She can see your eyes peaking out of the warm blankets, staring blankly at the ceiling as if you see something that she doesn't.

She sighs and lays down beside you, wrapping her arms around your waist without saying a word. You don't really want to talk. Cordelia knows that. So, instead, she lets her presence speak for itself. She's right here with you and if you feel like talking, you know you can talk to her.

It doesn't take you that long to finally say something. She misses your voice and hearing you ramble about the silliest stuff. To her dismay, you don't really sound like yourself and the only thing you have the energy to ask is, "Aren't you and the girls decorating?"

It's weak and brittle and sad, your voice, and it shatters Cordelia heart into a million pieces. "We finished a little bit ago," she says, "it didn't feel right without you."

A single tear rolls down your eye and it's on the opposite side that Cordelia's not on so luckily she doesn't see it. However, she hears you sniffling and her nurturing side quickly comes out.

Cordelia leans up on her elbow, looks down at you and frowns. You can't even look her in the eyes. "Oh, my baby," she cups your cheek and brushes away the tear with her thumb. Her hands are warm, but the comforting type of warm that makes your whole body ignite a cozy fire.

"You need some christmas cheer, sweetie," she whispers. And she's know; you both know, that it's not going to cure you, but god, she wish it would. It's enough to make you weakly giggle and she smiles at you with a sparkle in her eyes.

She leans down and kisses your pinkish lips and it's so gentle that it’s just so Cordelia. Her hand slides down your arm until she finds your hand and holds it. "Come on," she says, and tries to pull you out of bed, but you keep you weight down as much as you can.

"Delia, nooo. Where are we going?" You whine and try to take your hand back but she's so much stronger than you.

"You need to get in the Christmas spirit, missy!" She tries to drag you out again. She's winning; your body's halfway out of the bed and you’re struggling not to give in.

"Deliaaa. No!" You're not yelling at her, because she's too sweet to even be annoyed at. She's just trying to get you out of bed so you don't rot away, you know that.

"I'm not taking no for an answer right now." She's all smiley like it's the funniest thing in the world and she really thinks you're just the prettiest thing, even with your messy hair and stubborn attitude.

Somehow, Cordelia finally gets you onto your feet. You stand there with your arms crossed, looking completely unamused and trying to not to show her that you think she's seriously being really cute.

"Okay let's go, you have to see the tree that I put up!" She drags you down the stairs and you hoped that the other girls weren't around to see how awful you looked. And because you really aren't in the mood to speak to any other than your girlfriend.

Cordelia is just easy to be around in your hardest times. She just understands you and she's so soft and gentle.

The staircase had tinsel and lights wrapped around it. It looked beautiful, she was always good at decorating. The entire downstairs was decorated and you felt a little pain of sadness knowing that Cordelia had to do all of this without you.

You finally get to the living room. The huge yearly Christmas tree is right in the corner, glowing with gold lights and an assortment of ornaments from you, Cordelia and the other girls throughout the years hanging on the branches.

One ornament that catches your attention hangs on the very front in the middle. It's a ceramic wreath with a picture of Cordelia kissing your cheek. You got it made for Cordelia last year. You feel tears building up in your eyes, and thanks to the bright lights, they so obviously glimmer.

Cordelia looks over at you to catch your reaction. It almost brings her to tears too. "Oh honey—"

"It's beautiful, Cordelia," you say, and swallow the lump in your throat. You look over at your girlfriend to meet her eyes and you smile. For the first time in a while you genuinely smile.

"Thank you, my sweets. But it's missing something." There's that mischievous smirk again. You questionably raise your eyebrow at her and she walks over to the bin of extra decorations that she has yet to put away.

She pulls out the big yellow star that has been put on that tree for longer than she's been alive. "I just couldn't do this part without you."

You want to cry. You're going to cry. But you cannot keep wearing like this so you choke the tears back and smile.

"Oh Cordelia—"

Cordelia can clearly see how emotional you're getting. With her free hand, she tucked your hair behind your ear, smiling at you. "Shh. I know. It's okay." She didn't want you to hold back any of your emotions. She was a completely safe person to be emotional around. "Here, I’ll hold you so you can reach. Okay?"

You nodded at her and she handed you the star. You walked up to the tree that was way taller than you. You felt her strong arms grip your waist and your feet lifting effortlessly off the ground.

"Don't drop me," you said, jokingly as you leaned a little bit forward to stick it into the very top of the tree. It was a quick and simple move, and once you were back on your feet, you were still in her arms, your face mere inches away from hers.

"I'll never drop you,"  she whispered so quietly and leaned forward to kiss you. You giggled into it like a teenager in love. She made everything feel okay again and somehow brought back that Christmas spirit. "How about you get comfy and put on a Christmas movie? I'll make us some hot chocolate, my love."

[ange1sang]

sweetface, angelface

2.2k words

; canon compliant/post season 11, domestic fluff, sibling love, gallavich, fiona and ian + fiona and mickey, past regrets, mild hurt/comfort but mostly just sweet

Ian and Mickey's West Side apartment is silent when Fiona lets herself in with the spare key she borrowed from Lip. The quiet is thick in a way that it never was back in the Gallagher house - quiet always meant something terrible had happened, and rarely lasted more than a minute or two in their neighbourhood - and Fiona has to pause to take it in with a deep breath.

Lip had warned her that her visit was poorly timed. Ian had been climbing up the mental steps towards another high which had resulted in a quick and easy adjustment of his medication, and while Ian was resilient and experienced after so many years of learning the ins and outs of being bipolar, it had still left him sleepy and distant as his brain got used to the change in chemicals. He'd been off work for half a week - a long time for someone finding their footing in the real world - and Mickey had taken the past couple of days off to take care of his husband, something that had taken Fiona back to Ian's first depressive episode as soon as Lip had told her. Mickey's determination to take care of Ian, his hardheaded love for her little brother, and the fear in his eyes as he rambled about the sudden shift in Ian's behaviour.

She'd been less than supportive back then, knowing that Ian needed real treatment more than he needed love in that moment, but hearing now how Mickey's determination has persisted for years longer than they'd ever expected had made her heart ache.

Ian had always been her baby. Since that first night Frank left her and her only siblings at the time out on the street and she'd carried a feverish Ian and teary Lip to the clinic he'd been her baby. Lip was the second oldest, a role that came with signifcantly less responsibility but still enough of it for him to be her rock through those first few years of playing house all by herself. But for the years before Debbie was born Ian had been the youngest, the one who needed the most care, and even after their other siblings were born and Ian became Lip's best friend instead of just his little brother, the need to take care of him had lingered for Fiona.

It didn't help that Ian was so sweet and kind, always wearing his heart on his sleeve in a way that Fiona and Lip never did. He was vulnerable, and even when he kept his aches and pains to himself it was obvious when he was hurt. She wanted, always had wanted, to shelter him from as much as she could, even when she had too much on her plate to know his whereabouts or the names of kids bothering him at school.

Despite the desire to keep him safe, Fiona knew that he had slipped through the cracks more often than his siblings had. Maybe it was the sweet smile he gave her when she asked if he was alright, maybe it was the resilience that shone through when he started navigating his sexuality by himself, maybe it was his dreams of the army and the tough guy exterior he put on whenever he talked about West Point. Whatever the reason, he'd been left behind when she fussed over Lip being in school, when Debbie got pregnant, when Carl came back from juvie. He was the apple of her eye, but he was so meek sometimes that it was easy to focus on the rest of the kids and what they needed from her.

She knows now that she could've done more. That she should've been glad Ian was with Mickey instead of some guy who was old enough to be his father, who there'd been far too many of without any of them stopping to question what the hell those men were doing with their brother. She should have fought to bring him home when he ran off to the army the same way she fought to bring Lip home after he dropped out, and she should've done more than turn a blind eye when he started working at clubs and came home skinny, high out of his mind with eyeliner still smeared around his lashline. She should've carried him to safety, the same way she did that night when it was just the three of them alone in the world for the first time. There was no way she could have done a perfect job at raising all five of the kids - she knows that too - but her heart aches when she thinks of the times Ian slipped through all of their fingers without a safety net to catch him.

She owes Ian, forever her little brother and the only sibling she calls 'sweetface', for not trying to understand him better. For not trying harder to love the only boyfriend who had been there through the first highs and lows without ever turning his back on him. Ian did okay even without those things, she can see as much as she looks around the little apartment. The family photos in frames on the TV stand, the taupe couch with only one stain, the coffeetable with a half-full ashtray she recognises from their old home. He did okay because, despite being a softer kid than any of them had the courage to be, he was strong. She smiles when she spots a wedding picture hung above the TV, Ian and Mickey holding each other's faces like the rest of the world had fallen away at that moment. She wishes she'd been there, will likely wish as much for the rest of her life, but she's here now and has to hope that's enough.

The clattering of dishes pulls her out of her thoughts. She can hear coffee being put to brew, the soft shuffle of socked feet coming from the kitchen. She blinks back the dull ache in her chest and makes her way to the source of the noise, smiling when she sees Mickey leaning against the counter, an unlit cigarette between his lips as he puts two Pop-Tarts in the toaster. He startles at her presence but smiles as soon as he sees her.

"Hey Fi," he greets, setting aside his cigarette and allowing her to hug him hello without a struggle, which is a win for Fiona even if he doesn't really return the touch. He's softer in their new environment she realises, more relaxed than he ever was when he was in the same neighbourhood as his family. She pulls back and gives his arm a squeeze, smiling warmly at the sight of the wedding ring on his finger.

"Hi angelface," she says. Mickey immediately turns to the doorway, looking for something before he freezes and turns his attention back to Fiona, brows drawn tight together as he looks her up and down.

"Thought you were talking to Ian," he mumbles, pulling away from her touch as though to get a better look at her. "Where the fuck did that come from?"

Fiona can't help but laugh, shrugging off her jacket and draping it over the back of one of the chairs at their kitchen table.

"Ian's always been sweetface," she says, watching how Mickey's expression softens as she says that. "I was thinkin' the whole way over that you ought to have a nickname too."

"Y'know, I was doin' fine without one," Mickey grumbles, but the furrow between his brows has disappeared, a half-amused smirk on his lips.

"Count yourself lucky you didn't get one the day he started lookin' at you like you hung the moon and fucking stars," she jokes, which makes him snicker. She thinks back to the days Ian and Mickey were just teenagers wrapped around each other's little fingers, smiling little smiles that they only shared with each other and falling asleep side by side in whatever cramped space was available to them, be it Ian's childhood bed or the worn and torn Gallagher couch. Mickey had been the farthest thing from an angel at the time and he's still pretty far off, but if she could go back she'd have started calling him angelface the second he proved he was in it for the long haul. She takes a deep breath and perches on the edge of the table. "How's he been?"

"Good," Mickey says quickly, not dismissively but confidently, his blue eyes fond as he glances towards the doorway again. "Sleepin' a lot but he's eating and keeping up a routine and all that shit. He"– Mickey hesitates here, eyes darting back and forth between Fiona's face and the floor as a flush climbs his cheeks. –"works real fuckin' hard, y'know? He doesn't want anyone to worry, not like when we were kids. He knows his shit and he fuckin'... He works hard."

Fiona smiles. She does know. Ian's never been half-hearted in anything he cares about, and hearing that he cares about taking care of himself soothes some of the worry that's always going to nag at her, wondering if he's got his head above water.

"Helps that he's got you," she says, giving Mickey some of the long overdue credit she never let him have before. Mickey rolls his eyes and his fingers twitch like he's going to flip her off but ultimately he just pulls out three mugs to pour coffee into. She smiles, recalling how he was with Mandy, bickering and cussing back and forth but always reserving a special kind of sweetness for each other that they didn't share with anyone else in their family. Fiona knows better than anyone that siblings can't be replaced, but him offering her a little of the friendliness he used to reserve for his little sister makes her happy.

"Fi."

Ian's voice, slow and rough with sleep, breaks the comfortable silence in the kitchen. Fiona jumps up and launches herself at her little brother in a tight hug, smiling into his shoulder when he wraps his arms around her.

"I didn't know you were coming over," he mumbles, tucking his face down into her shoulder the same way he used to do back when they were the same height. He has to bend his neck down to do it now, making himself smaller as she brings a hand up to run her fingers through his curls.

"Lip called after you went to sleep, didn't wanna wake you," Mickey explains, voice soft.

Fiona grins as she pulls away from him, leaning up to kiss his cheek.

"Hey, sweetface," she murmurs, pinching his cheek and pulling a whine from Ian. "Forgot how tall you are."

"You were gone for too long," he replies, but there's no hard feelings in his voice. She still thinks about the day she left, visiting him in prison and squeezing his hands tight so she wouldn't forget the warmth of his palms once she let go. His smile, supportive and sad and excited all at once had reflected all of her own feelings and tied her stomach in knots but also grounded her, reminding her that her family would always be here for her to come home to. She kisses his cheek again even though this too makes him whine before finally letting him go.

"Now that you got your own place I'll visit more often," she reassures him. Through the bleary, sleepy expression on his face Ian smiles.

"You better," he jokes, before stepping over to kiss Mickey's cheek. She watches them exchange gentle 'good morning's, Mickey's hand trailing up and down Ian's spine in a way that's so casual, so clearly the norm for them, that she has to look away before she gets teary-eyed.

They sit around the kitchen table, coffee mugs and Pop-Tarts and pills and cigarettes all carefully laid out in front of them. Seeing them go about their lives with her there, mumbling about bills and what they dreamt last night and whether or not the movie they've been wanting to watch will be easy to pirate, is the best gift she's ever received. Lip has his own family, Carl has a great job, Debbie is a better mother than Monica ever dreamed of being, Liam is cleverer than any of them and Ian is doing well. Better than well, even after everything he's been through, after being let down in ways Fiona will never be able to forget. They all did good with what they were given, but it's Ian's life - cozy and safe and domestic - that makes her happiest.

"You're never gonna guess what she fuckin' called me, man," Mickey says suddenly, drawing Fiona's attention back to the present. Ian raises an eyebrow and turns his attention to his big sister, already smiling before she says anything.

"You're sweetface, only makes sense if he's angelface," she defends the sappy nickname, giggling when Ian laughs out loud. Mickey is only slightly less amused, blushing when Ian reaches out to hold his hand.

"Makes sense to me, Mick," he says, which has his husband rolling his eyes.

"Course you'd side with her, fuckin' payback for me siding with Debbie one time, huh?" he mutters, which brings forth another round of teasing from Ian. Fiona listens to them and makes a mental note to ask about Mickey and Debbie later. For now she just steeps in the peace of their apartment, of the life they've carved out for themselves, and breathes a sigh of relief.

[eddiemunsons80sbaby]

Naughty List

Pairing: JoeQuinnXReader

Summary: You've been feeling down this holiday season but Santa has the perfect idea to lift your spirits. Have you been a good girl or a naughty one?

You walked into the house after a long day in retail, ready to kick off your shoes, sit on your couch with your boyfriend, and enjoy a glass of wine. You usually loved working this time of year. Christmas had always been a source of joy. You embraced the chaos but this Christmas season had been rough.

Work had been insane with far too many unpleasant shoppers. You were used to a few here and there but it seemed as if everyone was in a hateful mood lately. They yelled about long lines like they weren't aware it was the busiest shopping season. They cursed at you when something was out of stock like you were the one manufacturing the damn televisions and radios they wanted. On top of that, your grandma had a stroke last month and you'd been spending a lot of your down time trying to help out your mom and dad. You were run down, exhausted, and running on fumes You were more than ready for a long winter's nap.

You dropped your purse, turning, and paused, taking in the apartment around you. Festive lights were strung all around the ceiling, twinkling in hues of red, blue, green, and yellow. Two stockings were attached to the hooks you usually used for your keys. Someone had clearly written your name on one and Joseph on another with gold glitter glue. Your Christmas tree sat against the wall, beautifully decorated with all your favorite ornaments. Tears sprang to your eyes as you took in the sight before you. You hadn't had time to decorate for Christmas with everything else going on and that had just added to your melancholy feeling this holiday season. Nothing was more depressing than coming home to a space bare of any Christmas joy during what was supposed to be the happiest time of the year.

Your favorite person in the world poked his head around the corner, giving you one of his little pouty smiles, that dimple you just loved to sink your tongue into appearing on his cheek. On his head sat a bright red Santa hat, the little fluffy white ball hanging just over his forehead.

"What did you do?" you asked with a grin.

"Well," Joseph began, slowly walking towards you, his hands folded behind his back, "I know that things have been a bit tough for you lately. You've been so busy with work and your grandma and I knew you were feeling a bit sad that you hadn't had time to decorate. You're usually so happy, downright jolly, at Christmas time and I have not seen you even smile in days. So I wanted to do something to brighten your spirits. Did it work?"

"What do you think?" you replied, bridging the gap between you, sliding your hands around his waist, the brightest smile ever on your face.

"It looks like my mission was quite successful," he answered softly. One of his hands slid up your arm and shoulder to cup the back of your neck. His other hand moved around to settle on the small of your back.

"Very successful," you whispered softly, your legs going weak as his lips found yours, gentle and sweet at first, and then more insistent. His tongue danced along the crease in your lips, slipping past to meet with your own. You moaned softly, trying to press yourself closer to him because there was never such a thing as close enough when it came to Joseph.

Joseph pulled his lips from yours, backed up, and you groaned with disappointment. People said that everything fizzled out eventually in a relationship. You wouldn't be as frantic about each other, sex would die down, you just would become comfortable. Well, that was not the case with you. It had been three years and nothing was dying down and there was absolutely no fizzle. The raging inferno that was your desire for him continued to blaze hot, threatening to burn the world in the process.

He smirked, strolling over to sit on the couch. Leaning back, he spread his legs open wide and desire flooded through you. Why was it so fucking sexy when he manspread? It should be obnoxious. He gazed up at you, that fuzzy ball hanging in front of his forehead, as he patted his lap.

"Sit on Santa's lap, darling and tell him if you've been a very good girl this year," he said, a devilish smile playing on his lips that made you feel like you were coming apart at the seams.

You walked slowly, swaying your hips as you went, thinking two could play at this game. If he wanted to tease then you could tease him right back. All thoughts of being tired vanished, your body suddenly quite energized ad you settled yourself in his lap. Joseph wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you against him.

"Come on, love, tell Santa what you want for Christmas," Joseph urged, his fingers sliding up and down your arm, sending shivers racing along your spine.

"I think I have exactly what I want right now," you responded, kissing the side of his mouth, "you."

Joseph tilted his head, tutting softly. "Oh, now that won't do. That's not very specific, darling. You have to tell Santa exactly what you want if you hope to get it."

Oh, it was going to be that kind of night. Your stomach tightened in anticipation, heat rushing between your legs. You ran your hand under his shirt, over the downy hair that sat above the button on his pants, feeling his muscles tense under your fingers.

"I want..." you whispered, leaning in close to his ear, "you to make me cum so hard that I see stars." You nip at his earlobe, enjoying the hiss that slips from between his teeth. "I want your mouth everywhere on my body." Your hand slid down over his pants, palming his erection and he growled, the sound a low rumble in his chest. "I want to feel every inch of you." You twisted your body, draping your legs on either side of him, straddling his lap and began slowly rocking your hips. You whimpered at the feel of his erection pressing against right where you needed him. "I want you to fuck me so hard that I can't move when it's over."

"Fuck..." he murmured softly, placing kisses over your jaw, one hand coming up to grip your hair, tugging on it gently, exposing your neck to his famished lips. "And have you been a nice girl or a naughty girl this year?"

"Oh, I have been so, so naughty, Santa," you breathed, your breath catching as you continued to press against him, sliding your hips feverishly back and forth.

"Mmm...well, you know what happens to naughty girls, don't you?"

Joseph grabbed your waist, stilling your body so you could no longer enjoy the friction that was relieving the tension building in your core. You tried to move your hips again but his hands were like iron, keeping you frozen. You whined and he chuckled, enjoying his little game. The man loved to tease you, to drive you to the brink of desperation before giving you what you craved.

"Naughty girls have to get punished before they get their present, darling," he rumbled. "Now, lay across Santa's lap and lift that little skirt up for me."

You were so turned on right now. Jesus, you loved it when he took charge. You slid off him and then bent forward, laying across his lap. His fingertips grazed the skin along the back of your calf. Obeying his commands, you lifted your skirt, exposing your bare ass to him. As he realized you were wearing nothing underneath, you heard him inhale a shuddery breath.

"Oh, you are a naughty girl," he hummed, his hand softly running over your bare ass before you felt the sting of his hand coming down hard on your ass cheek.

You whimpered softly as his fingers slid down, through your slick. Your hips bucked, your body craving him. Joseph chuckled again, the sound deep and amused as one finger slipped in between your folds, teasing your clit with slow circles. You wriggled your hips, desperate to get him to apply more pressure but his hand instantly disappeared and another hard slap came, causing you to cry out.

"Naughty girls don't get what they want. Remember? You have to show you can be a good girl before Santa gives you your present."

"I am so sorry Santa," you replied, your voice ragged, feeling like you were going to come undone if he didn't touch you soon. But you would play his game because you needed it. You needed the release only he could give you. "How can I be a good girl?"

Joseph slapped your ass again and the sting brought both tears to your eyes and raging desire between your thighs. He grabbed onto your hair, yanking you up to your knees, roughly pressing his lips to yours. Your teeth clashed, tongues tangled, his lips bruising your own with hard pressure as he showed you exactly who was in charge tonight.

"You want to know how to show me you're a good girl? Show me how good that pretty little mouth can suck my cock."

Releasing your hair, he leaned back on the couch, spreading his legs open. You crawled in between them, on your knees, working to unbuckle his belt and slide it loose. You undid the button on his slacks and he lifted his hips so you could pull them down, along with his boxers. The full glorious length of him greeted you and you could feel the dampness between your legs growing at the thought of bringing him pleasure.

Wrapping your fingers around him, you pumped your hand up and down the length of his shaft before wrapping your lips around the head of his cock. You were rewarded with a groan from above you that you could feel in your core. Flicking your tongue out, you teased around the slit and then slid your tongue slowly down along the vein running underneath.

"That's it...that's my good girl," he groaned, his head resting against the back of the couch, eyes closed. "Such a good girl, darling, taking all of Santa's cock. Yeah, take it in all the way. Want to tickle the back of your throat, sweet girl."

Shit, you loved turning him on. You could almost get off just from listening to the sounds he made, the praise he lavished on you when you were making him feel good. You wrapped your mouth around him, taking the entire length of him into your mouth, allowing it to hit the back of your throat.

"Fuck, yes," Joseph growled, his hand gripping your hair again, pushing himself as far into your throat as you can handle until you gag. "Just like that, love."

You released him from your mouth for a moment, continuing to work him with your hand. Your other hand came up to cup his balls, relishing the softness of the skin there as you rolled them around gently before tugging them downward and he grunted harshly, growling out your name.

Joseph grabbed your shoulders and lifted you up from the floor, throwing you down on the couch. His eyes darkened with the desire he was feeling. He was the one in charge but you took pleasure in the fact that you had managed to undo his composure. You knew he wanted to take you right there but he was struggling to regain the upper hand.

"You are such a good fucking girl," he whispered. "Such a talented little mouth doing exactly what Santa asked. I think you've earned a little present."

He grabbed the front of your shirt, tugging at it with his hands until the buttons snapped off. For a second you were annoyed. It was a work shirt and you only had so many but then his mouth was on your breast, his tongue lavishing your nipple and all ability to think fled your brain. His lips pressed warm, wet kisses along the curve of your breast, down in the valley between them, before reaching the other one. He took that nipple into his mouth, sucking gently before sinking his teeth in.

"Fuck!" you screamed, gripping his hair in your hands and you heard him chuckle.

"My girl likes it rough, doesn't she?" he asked as his fingers pinched your other nipple, twisting it just enough that the pain was so goddamn sweet. "I didn't hear your answer."

"Yes...yes...I love it rough," you choked out, gasping in shallow breaths. His tongue was moving south now, sliding along your stomach, pausing to dip into your belly button, causing your toes to curl, your fingers to grasp at nothing.

Joseph knelt on the couch between your legs and lifted your skirt, tilting his head to the side as he gazed down at you. His fingers trailed up and down the insides of your thighs, close but just never quite close enough to finally touch where you so desperately needed him. You whimpered, rocking your hips forward, needing him to finally quell this unbearable need.

He lifted your foot, bringing it to his mouth, pressing kisses along the arch, your ankle, your calf, your knee. Jesus, you were going to implode if he didn't relieve some of this pressure soon. HIs lips moved along your inner thigh but darted over your center, moving to the other thigh. You whined softly and he laughed, the sound a deep rumble in his chest.

"My girl sounds upset. What's wrong, darling?" he questioned innocently.

"Please..." you begged. "Please Joseph."

"Please what?"

"Please touch me," you pleaded, bucking your hips again, desperate for him to use his fingers or tongue on you. Anything as long as he was finally giving your pussy some attention.

"What would you like me to touch you with?" he teased, a smirk playing across his lips as his eyes gleamed mischievously.

"I want you to taste me," you moaned.

"Mmm...that's my favorite choice too," he agreed, diving between your thighs.

The minute his tongue ran along your folds, you groaned loudly in relief, your eyes rolling back into your head as you arched into him. HIs tongue flicked over your clit and then circled it. You rolled your hips toward him, yearning to get as close to his face, to that sweet tongue, as possible.

"Jesus, this right here is my favorite place to be," he moaned against you and you shuddered at the vibrations that rolled from his lips through you.

His tongue slid along your folds, slipping inside of you. He slid it in and out of you before flicking his tongue over your clit again. You saw nothing but white, your breathing growing labored as your chest heaved up and down. Two of his thick fingers slid into you, scissoring open, stretching you.

"Fuck Joseph!" you screamed, your hands gripping his hair as if it would keep you from sinking, pressing his face firmly against you. You could die happy right now, with this beautiful man buried between your legs.

He twisted his fingers, so skilled at knowing exactly how to hit your pleasure button exactly the way you needed it. Fuck, it was so damn good. His lips wrapped around your clit, sucking on it gently and your whole body began to tremble.

"Oh shit! Don't stop baby. I'm so close..." you gasped.

"That's right. Come for me, darling."

You screamed his name as your body violently shook, your orgasm feeling like it would rip you straight down the center. But what a way to go. He never stopped, continuing to touch you as you writhed through it. The violent tremors subsides to gentle aftershocks as you gasped softly, your head falling back.

Joseph trailed kisses up your body and you whimpered at the feel of his lips against your skin. Your senses were heightened, every nerve ending flayed open, from the intense release you had just experienced and every single kiss was sending shockwaves of overwhelming pleasure through you.

"Such a good girl," he praised. "Let's see if you can keep following the rules. Shall we? Turn around."

Your body felt like jello but you somehow managed to rise to your knees, turning so your back was to him. He pulled you against him, pressing himself against you, his hands running over your breasts, your stomach, your thighs and just like that, you could feel your desire building again.

Joseph's hand pressed against your back, pushing you forward until your cheek was pressed against the cool leather of the couch cushion. Gripping his cock in his hand, he teased you as he ran it along your folds, rubbing the tip over your clit. He slid just the tip of himself inside of you before pulling back out. You growled in protest, needing him to fill you, to finally give you what you'd been wanting since he'd poked his head around the corner in that fucking hat.

"Remember the rules, darling. You have tell me what you want," he commanded.

"Please baby. Joe, please. I need you to fuck me. Need it so bad, baby."

"That's my girl," he groaned, slamming into you with such force that your whole body rocked forward. You screamed with relief at the feel of him inside you.

His name fell from your lips over and over, a consistent moan, as he pumped into you hard and fast, the sound of your bodies slamming together filling the empty room. He grabbed your hair, yanking you up to him, pressing his chest against your back, not an inch of space between your bodies. Lifting your hips, you bring them down again, matching his frantic rhythm. His hands slide over your hips and then up along your waist before cupping your breasts, pinching your nipples.

"Tell me how much you love getting fucked," he whispered.

"I love when you fuck me, Joseph," you groaned, head rocking back against his shoulder. "I love the feel of your cock inside of me. Fuck baby, nothing feels better than you."

One of his hands slid down the front of your body your body, finding your clit once again and you bit down on your lip so hard you could taste blood. His finger circled your clit, his other hand torturing your nipple. When his mouth found your neck, his teeth sinking into the tender flesh there, it was too much.

"Oh fuck!" you screamed, gasping for precious air as forceful quakes took over. You hit your peak again, feeling as if you would float right up and out of your body.

"Yes baby...that's it...you feel so blood good, darling. Your pussy is so good," he snarled against your skin. "Oh fuck!"

His warmth filled you, painting your walls, as he hit his peak as well. You could feel him shudder against you, his arms wrapping around you, keeping you pressed tightly against him as he placed gentle kisses along your shoulder.

"Jesus, I fucking love you," he whispered.

"I love you too," you breathed, meaning it more than you could ever possibly express.

"Merry Christmas, my love," Joseph said softly, his finger lifting your chin, lips molding sweetly against yours.

"Merry Christmas baby."

[ugh-yoongi]

HOBI REQUESTS YAY! okay so at first i was thinking it might be hobi's birthday and he stays late at the studio regardless of the day and comes home to reader all tired and drained, but then reader has such a sweet surprise for him when he gets there (whether it be a cake, flowers, balloons, etc.) and it just seems like he can breathe again without the weight of his work on his chest, even if it's just for that night, he can fall asleep with no problem.

OR, considering it's in the name of jess' birthday, it could be reversed? reader's birthday and hobi has the sweet surprise instead? i don't have an idea of what specifically would be demanding so much of reader's attention, but coming home to hobi with his pretty smile on such a day seems like something so beautiful.

that's all i could muster up as of now, 🙃 if you chose to, feel free to play around with it until it's something you are comfortable with! <3

thank you so much for the request! i went with the first one and i hope you enjoy it! <3

(side note: i banged this out in one sitting so i'm tentatively optimistic that my writer's block is cured. we'll see. thank you all for your patience and not showing up in my ask box with pitchforks.)

ataraxia

pairing: hoseok x reader genre: est. relationship au; fluff, a tiny bit of angst warnings: hobi's kind of going through it so there are allusions to poor mental health, otherwise this is mostly fluff. just being there for your person when they're having a tough time. no gendered pronouns used. unedited. rating: e for everyone wordcount: 1k listen to: novo amor - anchor

Hoseok had heard once that babies born in the winter are stronger.

Something about mothers being able to absorb more vitamin D during the summer months.

As he collapses onto the floor of his studio, sweat and exhaustion blurring his vision, he thinks those people are full of shit. What has being born in winter gotten him besides muscle cramps and seasonal depression? Because he’s also at a higher risk for that, which those people lauding his athleticism tend to leave off of the discussion.

He sighs. He’s twenty-nine now, and there’s something truly haunting about the inevitability of time. Can’t slow it down, can’t make it go faster; he just has to sit here and take it. Next year he’ll be thirty, thirty-one the year after that, and on and on it’ll go for the rest of his life.

All he has are these little joys: the squeak of his new sneakers on the studio floor, the kids in his class finally nailing their routine, those peach iced teas he likes being buy one get one free this week at the convenience store next door. He has you, too, but you were smart and traded in your two-cent dreams for the corporate world and now you’re spending his birthday on a business trip to Singapore.

Yoongi would call him an asshole for that, probably. He has friends. Friends who want to see him, buy him a drink and give him gifts, and he appreciates the effort, he does, he’s just… tired. Fatigue has seeped into all of his bones and left him nothing more than a husk of a person. It’s been months of this same unending grind, and he’s running out of self to give.

At least Singapore is warm this time of year. In Seoul, beyond the frosted windows of his studio, there’s nothing but gray-brown slush and a patch of black ice he can’t melt no matter how much he salts it.

“Fuck this,” he mutters.

It’s nearing nine o’clock. He needs to get home; needs to eat something and drag himself into a hot shower before he crawls into bed and spends the entire weekend there. Needs to reply to all the texts on his phone wishing him a happy birthday. Needs to tactfully and politely turn down all the invitations. Needs to post some bubbly, colorful message on social media thanking everyone for the well-wishes and attach a photo from a few weeks ago because he hasn’t been smiling much lately.

First, though, he needs to get off the floor.

He usually likes his walk home. Likes pressing his face to the glass to look at all the window displays when he’s not in the mood to shop. Likes seeing other people go about their days, live their lives. Likes looking at all the ways the city reflects sunlight and fades to husky gold. Likes walking under the cherry blossoms in the spring; likes it even more when a few petals stick to his shoulders and you laugh and brush them off as soon as he comes through the door.

It’s hard to get off the floor when none of that is out there.

But he does it anyway, because maybe he has a bit of that winter strength. He packs up his stuff and sits at the bus stop, counts his exhales as they materialize in front of him, thankful for the heavy coat you’d bought for him a few years ago, now well-worn and no longer itchy. He sits at the back by himself and sends half-assed replies to all of those texts. Scrolls back to stare at the photo you’d sent him this morning—fresh from sleep and barefaced, lips pursed together in a kiss, thumb and pointer fingers together in a heart.

Slush sticks to his shoes as he ducks inside the building. Nearly trips climbing up the stairs, because the two of you live on the fourth floor and it feels too lazy to take the elevator, even when his muscles are screaming from a long day at the dance studio. But it keeps him moving. Keeps him upright and functional when all he wants to do is rot away.

His shoes are dry by the time he reaches the door, soaked into the carpet lining the hallway. His hands still bear the cold—red and unsteady, it takes him a few tries to punch in the code. Gets it wrong twice, and he takes a second to just… stand there, head resting against the door, feeling the weight of the world come down on him.

He’s not sure what he thought twenty-nine would be like, but surely it wasn’t this.

And maybe if he wasn’t feeling so low, he would’ve noticed. Your keys in the bowl by the door, your shoes in the rack. The light on in the kitchen. The smell of the miyeokguk simmering on the stove. The sound of your footsteps as you meet him where he stands, shoulders slumped, eyes brimming with tears and exhaustion.

“Hob-ah?”

There are hands on his face. Soft, he thinks. They’re touching him so softly, treating him just as delicately as he feels. He leans into it; recognizes the perfume stuck to the wrist. Knows it smells like home and an aching he can never seem to put a name to, and you don’t hesitate to wrap him tightly in your arms.

“You’re not supposed to be here,” he says, words waterlogged and hesitant as he speaks them into the crook of your neck. Nothing feels real, and he doesn’t trust himself to open his eyes.

You tangle your hands in his hair. Scratch lightly against his scalp. “I got an early flight home. Got back this afternoon.” This is where someone else would ask if he’s okay, try to pry apart his ribcage and look at all the ugly parts, but you don’t. There’s just a small intake of breath and the reluctance to let him go. “The miyeokguk is almost ready,” you say instead. “Do you want to take a shower while I get everything ready?”

Hoseok is reluctant to let go, too, but he’s at his best when he has a task. Needs something to accomplish, something to check off on his imaginary to-do list, so he nods. Pulls away and immediately misses your warmth. Takes your face in his hands and presses a kiss to your forehead. Thank you, it says. I needed you here.

You already know, though. You always do.

[mantisgodsart]

THE WORLD'S MOST DATING POLL

As Kabbu's birthday rolls around, the internet turns pink, and people talk about "love" and "romance" and other things like that. Very ironic, considering the man is aroace, but in accordance with the season, we have assembled some very viable bachelors to... date, probably. Dating profiles below the cut, but you can choose from cliff notes if you want, we guess, this is just so the post isn't ABSURDLY long.

Bau (short for Bauplan) - They/any - Dune Cricket - 18-21 (varies based on fic, generally tied to Vi's age) - Bi/pan

When it comes to a date, you can't do better than Bau! Though dune crickets are normally more than a bit antisocial (and cannibalistic), Bau is an exception! Terminally friendly, great at parties, and unendingly loyal - they'll do anything for a friend, and if you can get friendly with them, they'll be more than happy to date if you ever pop the question! You'll have to compete with other friends, of course - not to mention other partners, and their criminal entanglements as a Bandit that often operates as an intimidation detail but really, is it that much of a downside?

Jask - He/they - Ashy gray lady beetle - Late 20s - Gray-ace

If you want level-headed, Jask is your bug! A bandit medic with years of expence under his belt, Jask is well experienced with taking care even the most dangerous of bugs - his boss, for example. Sure, he's a bit busy with patients - but there's a tender heart hiding under that tough exterior. You just have to stick around for... what, five months? Ten?

...more?

...you'll figure it out, we're sure.

Zoza - Whatever the bandits come up with that isn't immediately veto'd (usually she/her) - Damselfly - 70+ - None of your business

The Bandits' second-in-command, a feisty old damselfly with more than a few tricks up her sleeve. She's a bit old to be dating around like you young'uns, but this old woman can still be a loving partner - prove you can contribute to the Bandits, prove that you're strong enough to not die horribly on your first outing, and manage to build enough of a rapport with her despite her many, many vital duties, and you might have a chance... if you're into grandmothers, of course.

(...is GILF a thing? GMILF? Hold on, we need to do some research...)

Marigold - She/her - Death's Head Hawk Moth - 30s - Married to her job

The most eligable bachelor on this list by far, judging by how people have reacted to her! Marigold is a charmsmith with a good, stable job, a good, stable personality, and only a little bit of active torture going on in her basement! We, uhh... aren't entirely sure how you're planning on getting her out of her lab and into the dating scene, seeing as she hasn't really been anywhere near the zone of "dating" since she was... what, sixteen? But we're sure you can figure it out.

Agapanthus - Variable (genderfluid) - Orchid mantis - Older than you'd think - Pan

A waiter(and sometimes waitress) at Club Maenad, this mantis knows exactly how to show you a good time. Charming and attractive, even if they've been banned from bartending for the forseeable future, and flexible for nearly anything you might need in a partner, if you slip in the right compliments between rounds, you might very well have a shot! Just... keep in mind the waiver you signed at the door, and please remember that this is a bar for parasitoids and bugs of species prone to eating their mates.

ZM-32 - It/they - Io moth/cordyceps - 100+ - Fungus

Bugaria's most eligable bachelor! Everyone wants a piece of this, and for good reason! It'll be fierce competition, but maybe, just maybe, if you can evade the deadly lasers and circumvent the persistent hatred for the living that tormented it and its colony for years on end... you could win its heart.

Chips - He/they - Two-striped grasshopper - ??? - Has Better Things To Worry About

Green is in this year - and so are grasshoppers. This one is dateable! Probably. Just be sure to cosy up with him before his gambling debts do, or he might get eaten by a large praying mantis before you get the chance.

ZB-162 - It/its - Cordyceps symbiote - 100+ - Switchboard Operator

...are you into responsible bugs? Are you into fungi? Do you enjoy dating people who are preoccupied with regulating and operating the communication network used by an entire cordyceps colony? Well, ZB-162 might be the bug for you? Though, uhh, often occupied with its job, ZB-162 is a fine specimen of the cordyceps species, and certainly very attractive if you... if you...

...okay, we won't lie to you, this one's a bit of a fixer-upper. Not sure how you're going to drag them away from the communication channels long enough for

The Wraith - ??? - ???????????? - Reported active since Elizant 1's reign - ???????????

Mysterious figure from the Ant Kingdom's criminal underbelly. Married, but you can still shoot your shot, we guess...???

Marble - she/they - Wasp - late 20s - It's In There

…didn't this one get blown up? We're pretty sure this one got blown up. If you pick this one, you have to take mandatory bomb safety courses, we think.

Unit of Radioactive Decay - They/it - Iterator - First activated in late Gen 1 era - Aroace

This is... a building, but you can still give it a try, we guess? Honestly, we have no clue how you found this one. We're pretty sure it's not even a bug.

L2tM & Enot - Any u can call us anything u want bb &lt;3 - Former iterator & karmic wyrm slugcats - Gen 1 & ageless wouldnt u like to know - yes

Why are you two here?! Get out of our fucking poll!!!

[pleaseeeimjustagirl]

♡Weekly Chronicles♡

Hey babes! I haven't done a weekly chronicle in so longgg but I have some good updates because I missed you girlies<3 Welcome to my new girliesss!

♡Education♡

The semester has officially started and so far I like all my classes. I decided to do 18 credits worth of classes this semester and I didn't realize how busy my schedule would be until last week lol. I'm trying to find a way to reorganize my schedule because babes it is a lot. I have a bunch of items I need to get a few textbooks I will try and order this week but other than that it has been very simple since it is the first full week of the semester I don’t expect them to do too much. I hope all my college girlies are doing well let's buckle in and get this semester done so we can be hot girls all summer lol. Side note there is this really cute guy in a few classes near me and I see him all the time he is soooo cute lol he's blonde and tall I had a math class with him I believe a year ago never said anything to him and I don’t plan he’s just cute lol.

♡Mental♡

I have been great mentally. So far this year I have been super organized when it comes to my goals and habits so it has made me feel secure knowing I am going down the right path. I need to pay for my refill of my antidepressants I like to call them my happy pills. They have helped me a lot these past 3 months because I remember last year around this time I was so depressed Seasonal depression affected my motivation and goals, so I didn't accomplish much. Thankfully this year is different. Also, I've been working on saying more affirmations I sometimes have a tough time looking in the mirror, especially around the time of my period but I'm constantly reminding myself I'm beautiful self-love is a continuous journey and to be patient.

♡Physical♡

I have been sticking to my diet plan! It has been working I've been seeing major results of course I have slip-ups sometimes but I get right back on and  I don't judge myself because I'm human and weight loss will not be linear. I can’t wait to reach my goal I still have more pounds to go but I got this! I've been super strict on my skincare routine and I've been seeing results with that as well my dark spots are slowly fading and I'm super happy. I recently cut my hair so I’m on a hair growth journey now. So if you have any tips especially if you have 4a, 4b, and 4c hair I'd love some tips below, and even if you don’t please share babes<3

♡Hobbies♡

My schedule has been super hectic. So now I'm trying to figure out how to organize my hobbies into my schedule but also trying to keep balance so I don't become overwhelmed. Pilates has been amazing I love the burn it's so addictive I can’t wait to get back into weightlifting in the second quarter of the year! I want to learn how to create flower arrangements so I can keep fresh flowers in my home. I'm still looking into new hobbies so I can have some excitement in my life outside of school. I tried some hobbies during the break and realized certain hobbies aren’t for me and some are. Also, I have been on it with my Italian! By the end of this year, I want to be bilingual. Every time I practice it makes me want to book a trip to Italy just to speak Italian with Italians lol.

I love chatting with you babes and want you girlies to chat back<3 so let me know what you have planned this week and how was your weekend Love you babes we are almost at 200 followers<3

[readerofthebooks]

Hello, may I ask for a request? If it makes you uncomfortable please feel free to skip this and always make sure to put yourself first!!!

What about Crowley and Aziraphale with a reader who’s been struggling with self harm? They’ve been doing well but they’re going through a rough patch.

Of course! So I wasn’t sure if I meant for it to be romantic or not so I kind of made is so it could be interpreted either way.

Warnings: self harm, angst, suicidal thoughts (ish), depression and Crowley cuz he’s his own warning 😭

This will be set just after good omens season 2 however the metatron didn’t come and Crowley, azi and y/n live happily ( ish) ever after :)

You lived in the bookshop with Crowley and Aziraphale, having been kicked out of your flat after being unable to pay the rent after inflation. You had, had a really rough patch and had fallen into depression, this caused you to struggle to even get out of bed, this meant you had to take time off work to recover, this resulted in being paid less and not being able to pay rent.

So when aziraphale and Crowley found out, they invited you to live with them, you had known them for about 6 years now so you moved in with them. However, during this time, you still struggled with depression, which eventually spiraled into suicidal thoughts which caused you to start self harming, this was 2 years ago ( when you had moved in ), when aziraphale and Crowley found out, they helped you through it, Crowley giving you tough love about it “ Trying to kill yourself?! Well… that’s… no! That’s not on!’ He had said, which you later learned he had said before to another woman. Aziraphale however had been much kinder about it and had constantly been there with tea or even just for a chat.

Of course these things don’t fix depression, but they helped, eventually you got help from a doctor and started taking antidepressants.

For about 9 months, you were absolutely fine and everything was ok for you, however, you lost your job recently and it sent you back into a spiral, you ended up stopping taking your tablets and didn’t take care of yourself, you were grateful you lived with aziraphale and Crowley because otherwise you didnt know what you would do.

WARNING ⚠️: from here is the self harm, please do not read it if it’s triggering!

After a while, you began to think about ending your life, you had got it into your head that if your job didn’t want or need you, neither did Aziraphale or Crowley, you began wondering if you just burdened them.

That day you went to the bathroom and took out your razor, you pulled up your sleeve and took your razor to your arm, and began cutting, you gasped at first, as the razor created more marks over your healed scars, your eyes welled with tears but you continued, cutting your arms, almost as if punishing yourself for everything that had happened.

Suddenly there was a knock to the door and Crowley’s voice could be heard ‘ y/n? Are you alright? You’ve been in there for a long time! I need the loo!’

You gasped, almost as if just realized what you had been doing. ‘ c-coming! Just a minute!’ You stuttered out to the demon. You looked at the floor that was pooled in blood after your attack on your arms, you attempted to grab the towel to wipe it up, only for you to get it on your clothes.

The banging on the door from Crowley didn’t help, you began to panic which Crowley clearly heard through the door, his constant knocking stopped and he rushed off, coming back with Aziraphale.

‘Y/n?’ You heard Aziraphale’s soft voice come through the door ‘ are you alright? I’m going to come in…’ he said softly

Your eyes widened at this, ‘ NO! No don’t!’ You screamed through the door, not wanting them to see the mess you had made of yourself. However, it was too late, the door had been miraculously unlocked and the door swung open.

The angel and demon gasped at the sight, ‘oh my-‘ aziraphale muttered

Crowley for a second looked angry only for his anger to morph into sadness and pity. ‘ we talked about this…’ he mumbled

Tears flowing freely down your face, you began apologizing, ‘I’m so sorry! I didn’t- I- I promise I’ll clean up and-‘

Suddenly you were engulfed in a hug from the two of them, ‘don’t worry about the mess, we care about you’ the two told you.

After about 20 minutes, the mess was clean and your arms had been put into bandages, you were all now just sitting on the sofa cuddling.

‘Do you mind me asking, what brought it on?’ Crowley asked softly

You shrugged, ‘ everything I suppose… work firing me, then I got ideas into my head about being in your way… a-‘

At this, Aziraphale stopped you, ‘ in our way? Dear, you couldn’t get in our way, surely you must know that’

You stayed quiet at this. The two entities looked at each other in worry, almost as if to wonder if one of them had said something to make you think that, of course they hadn’t but they worried anyway.

‘ you are definitely not in our way, don’t ever think that!’ Crowley said sternly .

Aziraphale nodded before saying, ‘ we’re here for you y/n, we always will be, we’re going to take care of you as long as you’ll allow us’

That was a promise that the two kept, for years to come, always being there, checking you were ok and taking your tablets.

You knew you could count on them both, and they could count on you. It was ineffable.

Hi! I hope this is what you wanted! I realized half way through it might not be!

Thank you for requesting, i enjoy writing so much and am happy to write whatever people ask for ( within reason)

[jazminrhode1]

Hi friend! Could you write about Matt and a reader who have both been working on their mental health and they both notice how much happier and calm the other one looks. They’re each others rocks and support each other no matter what. Super fluffy

Stand By You Matt Sturniolo x Reader One Shot

Summary: You and Matt help each other through a tough time and come out the other side.

Word Count: 771 words

WARNING(S): Depression, Anxiety, Mental Health, Symptoms, Recovery.

If you are struggling or need support, please reach out to someone. Here are some organizations that could help: https://checkpointorg.com/global/

Matt had always been there. Ever since you were kids he was the person who you hid behind when Chris was chasing you in the playground or when Nick went on a rampage. He was the person that you looked for in every room you walked into. When you needed him, he was there. And for him, you were too.

For the last few years, there were dark clouds in your head and it felt like you were fighting just to catch your breath. In those moments, Matt was the only person who understood what you were going through. For a while, it felt like you were the only two people in the world that were struggling and you clung onto each other just to keep your heads above the water.

When times got rough, Matt gave you a reason to keep going. For him, you were the air in his lungs and the light at the end of a very dark tunnel. Through words unsaid, you both knew that you were never going to be alone. You knew you were always going to stand by each other.

It had started to feel like the spark you once had was fading and no one else could see. You were scared that no matter how much you tried or how much you wanted to get better, no amount of therapy was going to pull you out of this silent hell you were living in.

If you couldn’t do it for yourself, you wanted to do it for him, for your family, for your friends. You didn’t want them to worry about you anymore; you didn’t want to be controlled by it anymore. Just when you thought it would never get better, things slowly began to change.

After you had long resigned to the idea that you would never be okay again, you started to feel okay. Brushing your teeth and having a shower didn’t feel like an impossible feat. You felt hopeful for the first time in a long time. You weren’t scared or tired - you weren’t high on life - but, you were okay.

You didn’t know if it was the change of seasons or the chemicals rebalancing in your brain but, you saw your life in color for the first time in a long time and the weight that had been pressing itself on your chest had begun to evaporate.

You weren’t sure if things would have been different if you didn’t have Matt standing by your side. You didn’t know if he felt the same way. All you knew was that as you sat there beside him on the edge of the pool at your apartment complex, he looked happier than he had looked in a long time. There was an ease about him that had been dormant for a long time.

The light was back in his eyes when he asked, “How are you doing, y/n?”

You said, “I’m doing really good.” A smile grew across his face as he took your hand in his.

“I’ve been waiting a long time to hear you say that,” he replied.

You’d been waiting a long time to feel that way. You had never lied to Matt, you were always honest. He was the only person that you didn’t feel like you needed to pretend to be okay in front of. He was the only person you could be yourself with, demons and all.

“You’re looking good, kid,” you said as you laid your head on his shoulder. “I’m feeling good,” he said with a sigh of relief.

“Thank you for helping me find my way back to being myself,” you said.

He took a deep breath, “Always,” he promised as he placed a kiss on your forehead, “Thank you for helping me to catch my breath.”

It had been a while since you and Matt had been free from the dark clouds hanging over your heads. It was nice.

As you both looked over at Nick and Chris fighting in the pool, you couldn’t help but stifle a laugh. Today was the first day you didn’t envy their larger-than-life attitudes.

“Come on!” Chris yelled as he climbed on Nick’s shoulders, “Let’s wrestle!”

Matt rolled his eyes as he jumped in the pool and helped you up onto his shoulders. “I hope you’re ready to lose,” he yelled as he made his way to them.

Chris was already slipping off Nick's shoulders, a child-like grin spread across his face. “You good?” Chris asked, grabbing your hands. All you did was nod. You didn’t want to think about the past or worry about the future anymore, you just wanted to live in the moment for a while.

[elisysd]

Dandelions - Ruth B

Masterlist - Previously - Next Chapter

tw: mention of depression, suicid*l thoughts

And I've heard of a love that comes once in a lifetime And I'm pretty sure that you are that love of mine

Charles woke up with a tremendous headache the next morning. He fumbled for a familiar presence but found only an empty bed. He struggled to sit up and opening his eyes was agony. On his bedside table were some aspirin and a glass of fruit juice, which he drank in one gulp. He could hear noises coming from the living room and tried to get up to see what Lyanna was up to. The room was swaying dangerously and he had to try twice before he reached the door. The light dazzled him and he wondered what time it could be.

Lyanna was busy getting her things together and packing her bags. The next day she was off to New York for a photoshoot and an interview with a major magazine that she had been putting off for several months. Part of her couldn't help but laugh when she saw Charles stumble into the room. She felt sorry for him and went over to him to help him onto the sofa.

“Tough morning?” she sarcastically asked.

“Don’t laugh. I feel like my head is about to explode. I’m not drinking ever again.”

“That’s what they all say. So this is true then, once 25 years old is over your body can’t handle alcohol anymore.”

“I handle alcohol very well.”

“Sure, seems like it.”

“Laugh all you want; I'll remind you of this when you're 25.”

“Still two years to enjoy then!”

She continued to walk back and forth across the apartment, while Charles watched her, trying as best he could to recover. Once she was done, she sat beside him as he let his head rest on her shoulder.

“What do you want to do today? Since it’s my last day, I was thinking we could do something just the two of us.”

“I’m in no state to go out so maybe we can do something chill?”

“Like what? Netflix? You promised me we would watch Drive to Survive together if I remember, months ago.”

“If I promised you then, I shall keep it.”

Halfway through the last season, Charles fell asleep while Lyanna was deeply into the show. She was amazed by how Netflix managed to make it overly dramatic when it was not that deep. Still, she thought that Charles looked good on camera. As if it were made for him. A shame he was such a bad actor, Hollywood would love him.

Charles's head was now resting on the young woman's lap. Lyanna ran her hand tenderly through his hair, finding him very cute like that. Her heart ached at the thought of having to leave the next day and abandon him, even if only for a few days. She would meet him again in Austin but she knew that they would only have a short time for each other. Charles had a Grand Prix to win and apart from being there for emotional support, there was little more she could do.

She was more apprehensive about Austin than she cared to admit. Deep down, she knew there would be a before and an after. This was their first official public outing as a couple and she knew the media would have a field day. She just hoped that it wouldn't be the only topic of conversation in the media and that Charles would be able to dodge questions about their relationship.

She was happy in Monaco, away from it all and with Charles. A protective little bubble just for them, far from her daily routine and her obligations. She still had a bit of trouble with the city, but she was getting used to it. She thought back to what Kika had said to her a few weeks earlier and she finally understood what she meant. It wasn't that she was getting used to Monaco or that she was beginning to like the city, it was the presence of Charles at her side that made everything better. She knew that no matter where she was, if he was near her, everything would be fine. Then reality hit her as hard as a speeding truck. She was falling in love or maybe she already was, she didn't know. She couldn't work out when it had happened, it was just there.  She had no real idea what love was or what she was supposed to feel. But this feeling of well-being, this urge to stupidly smile every time Charles broke into her thoughts, which happened far too often than she cared to admit, this desire to be close to him all the time, she knew it went far beyond simple infatuation. 

The air suddenly ran out of her. She tried awkwardly to get up from the sofa without waking Charles, but failed miserably.

“Lya? What’s wrong?” he groggily asked.

She didn't seem to be listening to him, too busy analysing what she had just realised. She was in a state of panic, pacing up and down the room in front of Charles, completely lost and wondering if his girlfriend had gone mad.

“Love, are you listening to me?”

He ended up ambushing her in a corner of the room, taking her in his arms and forcing her to look at him. She looked confused and on the verge of tears, which frightened Charles.

“Lyanna, talk to me. Please baby, you are scaring me.”

“Charles… I’m so sorry, I don’t know how or when it happened…”

“What happened love? Tell me, I promise I won’t be mad, I just need you to tell me what’s wrong so I can help you.”

“Charles, I think I’m in love with you!” she blurted out, choking on her words.

Charles's heart skipped a beat. He had imagined this moment in so many ways, but never, ever, had he thought that it would be Lyanna who would say those words first, let alone that she would be in this state when she confessed them. Charles let out a small laugh, which soon turned into a full-blown laugh. A big mistake, because it only made Lyanna panic even more, as she couldn't understand what was so funny about it.

“It’s really not funny, Charles! Stop laughing out me!”

Seeing her distraught expression, Charles stopped immediately. He approached her gently, cupping her face in his hands and resting his forehead against hers.

“You think you are in love with me? My Lyanna, I’ve fallen for you a long time ago but was too stupid pour admit it. I was waiting for the perfect occasion to tell you without scaring you away but you just beat me to it. You never cease to surprise me.”

“You love me?” she asked needed to be sure of Charles’ feelings.

“So much. You have no idea to the extent.”

“Okay. It’s good.”

He giggled while capturing her lips with his.

“It’s good indeed.”

“It’s a scary feeling for me.”

“I know. For me as well, but we will work it out and everything will be fine, I promise.”

“I’m in love.” She repeated again, seeming to fully comprehend how deep her feelings ran for him.

A long smile stretched across her lips and her body relaxed as Charles traced small circles down her back. The young woman stood on her tiptoes and placed her lips gently against Charles'. This kiss conveyed much more than her feelings for him, it was a promise. A promise that she wouldn't run away and that even if admitting she loved him made her feel vulnerable in a way she hated, she wouldn't back down.

“Don’t break my heart, okay?” she told him, pulling away and resting her cheek against his chest where she could feel his heart beating loud.  

“Don’t break mine either.” He responded, kissing the top of her head, and pressing her against him a little closer as if he wanted their bodies to become one.

They spent the rest of the day in the comfort of each other's arms whispering sweet I love you’s between kisses. For both Lyanna and Charles the day after would be hard to let go of each other.

And indeed it was. Lyanna never cried that much when it came to say goodbye and Charles had a hard time letting her go through the security’s doors. It was especially harder considering that her flight was long and they would not be able to talk to each other as much as they wanted.

Charles spent the day, brooding alone in the apartment where everything started to remind him of Lyanna. How cute she looked, cutting vegetables in his kitchen, how perfect she was in his bed when she was wearing nothing but one of his shirt, how ethereal she looked on his balcony during golden hour. He was so whipped, he knew that. He probably looked stupid behaving like a lost puppy, but he did not care. She loved him. She said the three little words. Her. To him. Not the other way around. And the thought of it made him feel like his feet were no longer glued to the ground.

On the other side of the Atlantic, after a long flight and a few hours' rest, it was time for Lyanna to get ready for her shoot and the interview that would follow. So it was with eyes ringed by lack of sleep and red from crying during the 10-hour flight that she greeted the hairdresser, make-up artist and stylist. Several hours later, she was barely recognisable.

The photo session went off without a hitch, Lyanna being used to it. When she had finished, she was ushered into a small room away from the hall where the photos had been taken, where a journalist was waiting for her, coffee in hand.

“Miss Michel, I’m Elena Doherty, it’s me who is going to conduct the interview today.”

“Pleasure, to meet you.”

Elena motioned for her to take a seat in one of the armchairs as an assistant came to bring her a cup of tea.

“You don’t mind it being recorder, right? So I’m sure the transcription of your words will be correct.”

Lyanna told her that everything was fine with her and Elena finished putting everything in place before settling down to face her.

"So, Lyanna. First of all, I'd like to thank you for your time and for agreeing to this interview. I know your words have been few and far between in recent years. It’s going to be an intimate interview. Imagine that as a journey inside the mind of a talented actress that some dare to call a once in a lifetime kind of prodigy.” Started the journalist.

“I don’t know if that would be accurate. It’s probably a bit too much.”

“But that’s what people said when it came to your performance in the last Steven Spielberg’s movie that owned you an Oscar nomination for best supporting actress.”

“To be honest, I don’t really read what the press says about me. I care about art and work well done, not reviews.”

“But surely you must be flattered to hear such things about you.”

“Well, of course. It’s always a pleasure to see people enjoying your work, especially when there are so many people involved in a project. I’m a team player, I’m never going to take all the credit for a movie. I’m proud of my work for this one, but what makes me even prouder is the effort the whole team put in it. A movie cannot be great if the team is not at 100% no matter how good the actors are.”

“That’s for sure. You were recently involved in Flowers and Crowns, a romcom that you shot in Monaco. Care to tell us a bit more about what made you jumped in the project? It was a bit bold, especially since everyone was expecting to see you aim for bigger and Oscar worthy type of movies.”

“I’ve always been someone who follows my guts. There is nothing interesting to say about it. I loved the script, I’ve never done a romcom before and I think after all the pressure from the Oscars, I needed to do something light where I could have fun.”

“And did you? Have fun, I mean.”

“I did yes. I think people will enjoy the movie. In terms of vibes it’s a mix between a Bridget Jones’ type of humour and Notting Hill with Julia Roberts and Hugh Grant. I can’t wait for it to be released.”

“Can you tell us a bit more about your character or is it still something you cannot say?”

“Well, I guess that I can tell you that from all the amazing characters I had the chance to portray, she is definitely the one who is least like me. I can't say any more at the risk of being told off by production.” She added while laughing.

“Shooting in Monaco must have been a dream though, it’s a dreamy location for a movie. Did you feel like you were working or was it more like holidays’ vibes? What was it like?”

“Well it was very different from what I’m used to, very sunny and hot if you compared it to London where I live. But of course, it’s beautiful. We had the chance to shoot in various places, not only in studios. And it was amazing for me to be able to speak French for once.”

“I can’t beat around the bush any longer Lyanna, you must know it, but there were some rumours about you and F1 driver Charles Leclerc while you were shooting the movie. I won’t ask if it’s true because I know that you are not one to talk about private matters in the media. I’m going to ask how you handled that?”

Lyanna gulped and looked at the window. When her agent asked her if she would like to the interview, her first question was to ask for the most trustworthy journalist to conduct it and to not ask personal questions.

“It was hard. I don’t have the greatest relationship with the medias, it’s not new, you know that. So seeing my private life once again being displayed and speculated for entertainment purposes was not a good feeling. It brought back a lot of bad memories.”

“For our readers that might not know what we are talking about, do you feel like explaining?”

“A few years ago, I was a victim of what we call revenge porn. I was in a relationship that did not end well and the person I was with at the time decided to leak intimate pictures and videos of me in the press. The worst thing is that all the videos and pictures had been taken without me knowing about it. And from there onwards, things started to go downhill.

 I started to get harassed by paparazzi to the point that I could no longer leave my flat since they were always outside of my building, waiting for me to come out. I’ve been called names on social media as well as in magazines. You can imagine what kind of things were said. I was dropped by brands and projects that did not want their names to be associated with mine. I lost everything to the point that I had to fly back home to hide.

I was not eating anymore, I was spending my days in bed and I’m sad to admit it, but at some point, I started to wonder why I was still on this planet. What for? And that maybe people would be better off without me since this whole thing had repercussions on my family. My mom was shamed because of me to give an example. Later I was diagnosed with PTSD and depression. And you know, the worst in this story is that I’m the one who was blamed for everything when my ex-boyfriend was able to get away with it unscathed. More than that, he was praised for it, people were saying at the time how lucky he was to have broken up with me considering that I had no shame posing for pictures. I was the victim but everyone put the blame on me. It took months if not almost a year for the truth to be told but it was too late and up until today, I’m still blamed for this story.”

“How did you get through it?”

“With the love and support of the people around me and a lot of therapy sessions. I spend the year following the event working on myself to get back on my feet.”

“And career wise, how did you manage to come back on top?”

“I thought that I would never step on a movie set ever again. I really thought it was over for me. I had to start all over again. No important names from the industry wanted me back, so I started to shoot short movies, unpaid ones sometimes, and I started to work with independent directors on low budget movies. It was an amazing experience despite the circumstances. It really brought back my confidence. I think, somehow, it saved me, and I will be forever grateful for those projects. I thought that it would be my career from now on. And the Steven Spielberg called me and who can say no to Steven Spielberg? The rest is history.”

“I have to ask the question after hearing your story, how are you today, Lyanna?”

“I’m proud and glad to say that I’m happy. Really happy. Probably the happiest I’ve ever been. I have a good support system; I work with the most trustful people and I’m not putting pressure on myself. The projects I choose are ones I truly believe into. I don’t have special career plans; I go with the flow. And I have fun, that what is the most important.”

“I’m glad to hear that. If you could change something in the industry you work in, what would it be? If there was a message you wish to pass on, what would it be?”

“I wish Hollywood would be more supportive of women for starters. And to advocate more when it comes to mental health. So many artists struggle with it and it would be nice for us to feel supported by the industry.”

“Thank you, Lyanna, for your time. I wish you the best in your future endeavors.”

“Thank you, Elena. “

When Lyanna returned to her hotel room, she felt relieved. It was as if a weight had been lifted off her shoulders, and for the first time she was looking forward to reading the article in the press. It couldn't have been late in Monaco, she knew that Charles was due to fly out soon and that he must have been in the middle of packing his bags, so she grabbed her phone to send him a message in which she told him, without going into too much detail, how the interview had gone. She was surprised to see him answering her almost immediately.

I’m so proud of you. I know how painful it must have been to relived that. I can’t wait to read it and to see you. I already miss you like crazy. I love you.

========

author's note: SHE SAID IT. Finally. I so loved writing this chapter. I just love how cute they are. Next chapter, Austin GP... I can't wait. As usual, I'm always happy to hear your thoughts and reactions in the comments, in the ask box or through DM. Take care!

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