#there are so many things to be anxious about

[fastandcarlos]

Stolen My Heart : ̗̀➛ Oscar Piastri

summary: sneaking around the garage was only going to last so long, especially with lando norris lying around

You wanted to say after so many years you were used to being the baby of McLaren, but truthfully, it never got easier. You loved your job, you loved snapping photos, filming content, and just being around the team…one of them in particular.

You were always promised yourself never to tied down whilst at work, you wanted to remain professional and keep things friendly. But then you met Oscar. The guy who somehow managed to change all of that for you.

What started out as friendly conversation, soon became a little bit more. He’d pull you into a corner when no one was looking and kiss you, or hold against your waist to reassure you whenever you felt that something wasn’t quite going right. You were the one that constantly made him look good, that resulted in thousands of fans losing their minds every time something Oscar-related was posted.

People were used to seeing the two of you together, but as the more time passed, the more Oscar liked to test the waters. Unlike him, you were terrified that if something got out your job would be at risk, you loved Oscar, but you loved working for McLaren too. There were moments when he’d try a little too hard, resulting in you having to be firm with him, pushing him away out of fear.

“Babe, I wouldn’t do this if anyone was around,” Oscar told you as you shot a glare in his direction. Your head shook at him, trying your best to ignore the look of desperation that Oscar stared back at you with.

With one person in particular you’d had a couple of near misses. Lando. The one person you knew would tease you like you could never believe if he found out about your relationship. If Lando ever found out, then you knew it wouldn’t be long before the rest of the garage found out too.

Lando had his suspicions though. For the past couple of months, he’d noticed how much bigger Oscar’s smile was, or how much more excitable he was for race weekends at the paddock. Every time Lando tried to push and find out what, or who, had caused his new enthusiasm, Oscar would just brush it aside as nothing. Deep down, he wanted to scream out your name, but the urge to protect you always pushed that feeling back down again. However, the more that Oscar pushed him away, the more Lando wanted to pull him right back in again.

It didn’t take long before Lando started to read between the lines more, he’d notice how Oscar would always ask for you to walk and photograph him, how he’d sit up straighter whenever you joined them for a team meeting, or how he’d always compliment your work the most when the two of them were deciding which pictures to post.

Lando opted not to tease Oscar about his findings, knowing that eventually the right time would present itself for him to finally get out of Oscar what he was hoping to here, with maximum satisfaction too. His plan was almost working too until one night Lando went out to find you for some help with a post on his social media, rushing around the paddock to try and find you before the sun set.

“Y/N?” He called out as he noticed a figure that looked like yours, picking up his pace in order to catch up to you. There was only a split second between him arriving and you moving, pushing away at something.

“Hey,” you smiled, straightening out your shirt, glancing at Oscar who stood beside you.

“Am I interrupting something?” Lando quizzed, looking between the two of you, noticing the anxious expressions that you both wore, how uptight you both were stood as you tried to calm your blushing cheeks.

“You are actually,” Oscar suddenly spoke up, leaving you stunned. “I was trying to enjoy the sunset with my girlfriend, is that too much to ask for?”

“Wait…you two are like together properly?” Lando grinned, brushing his hand through his hair. “I always thought the two of you were just crushing, like a pair of teenagers back in school.

“Lando, shut up,” you whispered, desperate for something, someone, to take you away.

“No way!” Lando giggled, pushing against Oscar’s shoulder. Neither of you quite knew what to say or do as Lando jumped around in front of you, unable to hide the wide smile that was on his face.

“Reckon you could go away now?” Oscar quizzed, turning Lando around and pushing him back in the direction that he just came from.

“Well, that’s me sacked in the morning,” you sighed, feeling an arm drape across your shoulders as Oscar pulled you in tightly against his side.

“He’s Lando, he’s only messing with us,” Oscar tried his best to reassure you, pulling you close enough to kiss against the top of your head.

“But what if-“ you began, only to find yourself cut off by Oscar pressing a kiss against your lips, cupping either side of your face to keep your eyes firmly on him.

“I won’t let it happen, there’s no chance. Plus, you’re crazy if you think Zak will ever want to get rid of anyone as talented as you,” Oscar spoke, trying his best to reassure you.

“I don’t know what to do,” you whispered, unable to clear the thought from your mind, filled with fear that this was the end of something. Your career. Or Oscar.

“I love you, it’s going to be alright,” Oscar calmly responded.

"But what if-" Before you had the chance to protest, he pressed yet another kiss against your lips, keeping you there for a few moments longer. It was a dangerous game with so many people passing by, but at this point, Oscar simply didn’t care.

“I know it might sound stupid, but trust me,” Oscar chuckled as he pulled away, “I know Lando, he might seem like a complete idiot…but he only is, partly.”

You took Oscar’s word and for quite a while it seemed to be true. Lando liked to mess with you both every now and then but he never risked properly exposing you both. He had his moments, and you had yours, hitting him or taking an unflattering photo of him any time he tried to reveal your secret. Like with him, Lando knew it was only a matter of time before you accidentally revealed yourselves to everyone else too.

As much as he tried to resist you, Oscar knew it was an impossible task. More than anything he wanted to celebrate those victories with you, but instead he had to remain professional, choosing to fist bump you in the paddock, and celebrate properly with you back at the hotel room.

One race when he was on the podium, you could barely contain your excitement, something that one person in particular picked up on in the garage.

“You could try and pretend like you’ve not just watched your boyfriend get P2,” a familiar voice whispered as they came up alongside you. “You’re not playing it very cool.”

“I don’t know how I’m supposed to act in this situation,” you admitted, looking to Lando for a little bit of help to sort yourself out.

“Just say well done to everyone,” Lando instructed, stepping back as he noticed the people in the garage part as Oscar finally returned.

“And to him?” You quizzed, but Lando was already gone, leaving you stranded as Oscar came striding towards you.

A lump ran down your throat as you admired the trophy that was in his hands, suddenly feeling the attention of the whole garage was solely on you.

“I did it,” Oscar chuckled as he showed you the trophy before closing the distance between the two of you with a kiss.

You wanted to push away, remind Oscar of where he was, but he was like an irresistible force. You stood and kissed Oscar back, hearing a few cheers when the two of you pulled away a few moments later.

“Well, well, well,” Lando teased, smiling proudly knowing that you’d finally done what he knew the two of you would do, eventually.

“I’d love to say I’m surprised, but I don’t think anyone really is,” Zak chuckled, leaving you stunned as he threw his arm around Oscar’s shoulder.

“I had no idea!” Andrea called out, leaving everyone in fits of giggles.

“You’ve hardly been subtle, have you both?” Zak grinned, nudging against your side too as he tried to encourage you to smile and relax a little.

You weren’t quite sure what happened for the next couple of hours, between explaining yourself to everyone and celebrating Oscar’s win, you found yourself in a hazy bubble. It was only when the two of you sat out on the pit wall, all alone, hands intertwined with each other, that you took a moment to calm back down again.

“I always told you there was nothing to worry about, didn’t I?” Oscar whispered across to you, noticing you staring down at the track.

You knew deep down you never had to worry, if anyone was going to have your back, it was Oscar. You had completely stolen his heart, everyone around him constantly teased how they didn’t recognise him anymore. He was a changed man, completely besotted and in love with you.

The two of you stayed in a comfortable silence for a few moments, enjoying the first time you were able to show each other any real affection and not look over your shoulders out of fear as to who was potentially watching you.

Not only had Oscar found himself winning with you, but what he had achieved on the track felt as good as a win too. He couldn’t believe how lucky he was, struggling to believe that the life that he was currently living truly belonged to him.

“I never got to say it back to you earlier,” you hummed, watching as Oscar’s confused eyes looked back at you.

You whispered those three little words across to him, the same three words he had told you earlier that day when trying to comfort him. It was a big deal for you anytime you said it aloud, but with Oscar, you truly did mean it. He made you feel special, cared for, and loved like no one had ever made you feel before. He was one of a kind, in the best possible way.

With your words, Oscar squeezed your hand a little bit tighter as if to silently tell you that he felt the same way. You shuffled closer so that you could rest your head down against his broad shoulder.

“I’d love for someone to take a picture of us right now, but no one is as good as taking photos as you,” Oscar mumbled underneath his breath.

“I could set up a self-timer, find the right angle, make sure we’ve got the right lighting,” you suggested, much to Oscar’s satisfaction.

“That’s a good idea, I always share your photos, so it would be nice to share one of yours to be able to share you with the rest of the world too.”

“You really mean that?”

Oscar nodded back at you straight away, pulling out his phone and handing it across to you. It was something that he’d wanted to do for some time, but now more than ever, he was sure that now was the moment for the two of you.

“Make sure you get my good side,” Oscar joked as you jumped off of the wall and went to set up the photograph for him.

“Babe, all your sides are your good sides!”

˗ˏˋ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ! ´ˎ˗

[creativewritersposts]

finally kiss me! - Luke Hughes

summary; Luke Hughes x reader

Luke wants to impress you but is too shy to take the next step. He's very anxious to lose you for that.

warning(s); mention of anxiety / insecurity, fluff, maybe grammar errors

author's note; thank you for requesting this!! ✨

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You always liked confident, good looking men. Who protects you from the bad things. Like a knight with a white horse, horse riding to save you.

"He's very cute to send you this!", replies your best friend, looking down on your phone screen. You showed her Luke's last message.

"Good morning, wanted to make sure if you still want to go on the date with me tonight?" in the early morning.

Luke is not the knight with a white horse, he's very overthinking and insecure with flirting. After two dates you think about picking him up like a princess with your white horse.

But at the same time it's the person you really want to date, he's goofy, he's smart and cares about you.

"Text him back! Poor guy!", she nudges you with her shoulder, "okay okay!", quickly texting back with a yes.

The day run away, now you're standing on your street. Luke invited you for a car cinema night.

Way too fast a car stops next to you, Luke opening the door, "you look really- really good-", blushing with his cap to hide his curls. He looks tired. "Thanks", you thankfully smile, secretly crushing on this handsome man. "Did I say the wrong-", Luke gets in panic mode. "No!",you giggle and sit down in his car.

He's very quiet whilst driving. "How was your day?", you start the conversation, "the coach was in a bad mood today and yours?", looking at you, concentrating on the street. "Mine was good", you smile. "I choosed a classic movie, hope it's okay", he sweats his ass off. He is very bad with girls and he wants to impress you. It's just his brain driving him crazy about so many things -, he could fuck up and you're leaving him. Because he's not that confident like is brother.

"Do you want popcorn?", he parks the car and stops the engine.

"Yeah, what about you?", you ask him back, "yeah I want to kiss you-", focused on the cinema screen and definitely not thinking what he speaks out. "Huh?", you're confused but flattered.

"Oh-oh shit! Sorry language!", he stutters with fire red cheeks.

"Please forget it", is what he says, looking deep in your eyes and gives all his attention back to the screen.

You lean back with popcorn in your lap one hour later, frustrated. You're sitting here for one hour straight and Luke doesn't take any move closer to you.

"Luke?", you ask, "yeah?", a mumble escapes his mouth, full of popcorn. "I really want to kiss you, too". Luke swallows, speechless what to say. You like his awkward personality?

"Oh-ehm-like without tongue or wit-t-", he thinks too much. Again. You had enough, grabbing his shirt closer to you until his lips find yours. Gosh, he's a good kisser and he's sitting here like a frozen fish, no clue what he should do - so he touches your neck. Your lips seperate after seconds- you both hold your breath. This is the best kiss you ever had.

"uhm-is this a sign you like me?", his voice cracks under full of hormones.

"Yeah"

"It was way too early, I'm so sorry it's not gentleman -", he bites on his lip.

"It's our third date, Luke! Finally kiss me again!"

[scififettuccine]

Homelander x SupeTeen!Reader

Idk ya'll Homie has really been getting on my nerves recently. I wasn't exactly sure where I was going with this one at first, but I LOVE the way it turned out. It was a doozy but it was SO FUN to write! This isn’t proof read just yet so please don’t yell at me💀

Summary: You meet your biological father for the first time at Vought Tower after your adoptive mother's unexpected passing...he's not exactly what you expected.

Word Count: 1.8k

Warnings: Homelander (Obviously), death of a parental figure, mentions of death, manipulation tactics, awkward parental conversations???

Being a Supe had never been easy for you, though, luckily you had never been forced to live in a lab. Soon after you were born, one of the Vought scientists had taken you in as her own, -due to the fact that your biological mother had died during childbirth- directly going against Vought's policies. She was found out eventually, to no one's surprise...but this breach in policy gave headway to a new experiment. So, she was allowed to keep you and raise you as her own. You were raised as any other child would be, but you were treated with extra caution...and being the only Supe in school wasn't exactly a cake walk. But the worst thing you had experienced was a little bullying, but your doting, caring, adoptive mother put an end to that rather quickly by talking with the school board. The first 15 years of your life were...tolerable, if not ideal. It was supposed to stay that way...until your mother was found dead at her place of work.

It had only been two weeks since your mother died. In those two weeks, you had been relocated and told, verbatim, that your father was one of the most iconic Supes in the world...Homelander. Now? You were sitting in The Seven's meeting room at Vought Tower, anxiously toying with the handle of the swivel chair you were sitting in. Part of you was still just...numb. Everything you had ever known had been ripped away from you seemingly overnight. Any other child would be over the moon...but you? You were just...detached. You were pulled out of the endless depths of your own thoughts when a voice echoed off the walls of the room.

"Hey there, kiddo!"

You looked up from your anxious fiddling, and were met with the blindingly white smile of your biological father. You did your best to give a convincing smile back, sitting up a bit straighter in your seat. His presence wasn't exactly the most comforting. He tilted his head to the side a bit when you didn't respond.

"You're Y/N...Right? Hopefully we didn't get the wrong kid...that would be awkward, wouldn't it?" Homelander asked with a laugh. He sort of stopped in the center of the room, looking you up and down, like he was trying to evaluate you...to decide your worth. You nod sheepishly.

"Yeah...yeah. That's me." It honestly didn't help that you were the age that you were...it made it more awkward somehow. Homelander didn't say anything for a moment, almost like he was waiting for you to say something else. When you didn't, he sort of chuckled.

"You're not very talkative, are you?" He asked. You had opened your mouth to respond, but he cut you off. "I guess that's understandable. Meeting your old man for the first time is no small feat..." He paused for a moment as he evaluated your expression. "I'm sorry to hear about your mom...tough stuff there, kiddo." You took a breath when he mentioned your mother. It was all so fresh...and there were so many things you had recently learned that she had never told you. You didn't even know she wasn't your biological mother until after she died.

"Mmm...Don't be sorry...not your fault."

Oh, the unknown irony of that statement.

Homelander let out a small scoff and frowned. Admittedly, the frown looked incredibly fake...almost like he was mocking you.

"Still...I can't imagine what you must be feeling. I mean, to find out that she was keeping so much from you...after she died...? That must pack an even worse punch." You sort of stiffened in your seat. You weren't exactly stupid...you could read his tone. He was hiding his insults towards your mother with a cruel, mock sympathy.

"She only did it to protect me...I know she did. She wasn't a bad mom, she was amazing, actually." You respond, almost matter-of-factly, your eyes glowing red ever so slightly. "I know raising a Supe couldn't have been easy for her...she had her reasons." It was incredibly hard to talk about your mother in any way, considering she had only died two weeks ago. Homelander sensed your tone, and put his hands up as he noticed the flicker of light in your eyes. It suddenly became clear to him that you couldn't control your powers, which almost made him smirk.

"Hey now, of course she was...Absolutely no hard feelings towards your mom...But I know I would have never kept things from you like that. And registering you at a public school, knowing you're a Supe? That's just...cruel." You were going to continue defending your mother...until he mentioned school. That was something you couldn't exactly convince yourself was a great move on your mom's part.

"School was...a different story. It was rough." You said, pulling your legs up onto the swivel chair so you could hold your knees to your chest. Homelander nodded as he took a few steps closer to you, his hands now at rest behind his back.

"So I've heard...I spoke to your therapist." That comment turned your stomach a bit. Wasn't everything you spoke about with your therapist supposed to be confidential? Homelander noticed the slight change in your expression. "Don't worry, Y/N...I didn't dig into any of the gritty teenager things..." He chuckled, "I was just curious to learn about your school situation. You're a sophomore now, right?"

"Yeah...I will be. In the fall." You said quietly. Homelander smiled, where he now stood beside your chair at the point of the uniquely shaped table.

"Well that's fun, isn't it?" He asked as he pulled out one of the other swivel chairs and pulled it towards him. "One more year and then you're one of the big dogs." You nodded, watching his movements as he sat down, facing you. Everything about him just seemed so...strange. Even the way he moved. It looked almost calculated...and was mildly unsettling.

"I guess..." You said quietly. You sighed as you rested your chin on your knees, grabbing onto the table to reluctantly turn your chair to face his...it was only polite.

"You don't seem too thrilled..." He started, his blue eyes meeting the identical set that you possessed, "Was school really that bad?" That was more of a rhetorical question on his part, he knew everything about you.

"The teasing sucks...They call me 'Laser Eyes'..." Homelander stifled a laugh when you said that, to which you narrowed your eyes.

"I'm sorry...I'm sorry!" He said with a chuckle, "That is the stupidest insult I've ever heard!" Homelander took a moment to stop laughing before he looked back to you. "Look. I'm not laughing at you, kiddo. I would never. But Laser Eyes...? Really? They couldn't come up with anything more original? I mean...Even I'd be hesitant to insult you considering you could just laser them in half." He said. His smile was almost manic looking.

"What?" You asked, almost dumbfounded. "I would never...I could never." You said. You pulled your chin off your knees, your eyes still narrowed.

"Why couldn't you? You're a Supe...aren't you? I mean...mommy swooping in and bribing administration to take disciplinary action against those little shit stains isn't exactly making you out to be the strongest person..." You almost immediately sat up correctly in your chair.

"She bribed the administration...?" You ask softly. Homelander gave a mock frown as he noticed your eyes become glossy.

"You didn't know? Gosh...How much was she keeping from you?" You swallowed as he spoke and tried your best not to cry. The last person you wanted to look pathetic in front of was Homelander...Especially considering his earlier comment about it not being a good look that your mom always had to swoop in and save you. "Awe..." He started, scooting his chair closer to yours. "Don't cry kiddo...It's not your fault that you're so lost...It's hers." Your eyes met his once again, a tear slipping down your cheek, which you quickly reached up to wipe away.

"Lost?" You ask. Homelander nodded.

"Well, most Supes your age, with your abilities usually already have a professional presence...Or at least know how to use their powers correctly." He said, tilting his head to the side ever so slightly. "I mean, had I raised you? Had you not been wrongfully stolen from me after you were born? You'd already have a place in the Supe community, followers...maybe even a contract with Vought. You wouldn't just be floating in your own little bubble...You'd have a group. A family." Something in you broke when he spoke. Your mother had stolen you from your biological father? And had he raised you, you wouldn't be so...you? So lonely and misplaced? You couldn't help the tears that slid down your cheeks. It was as if your entire life had been flipped upsidedown.

"She...S-she really kept all that from me?" You asked. Homelander tutted softly, almost pitying you. He stood up and held out his arms.

"Come here, kiddo..." He said softly, with a tone of empty sympathy. You almost immediately stood up and buried your head in his chest. At this point....What else did you have? Who else did you have? He chuckled softly as he wrapped his arms around you, his hug firm, considering he was so much larger than you...yet comforting, despite the strange material of his suit.

'It's alright, Y/N...You're right where you need to be. We'll get you up and running with those powers of yours in no time..." He said softly, resting his chin on top of your blonde hair. He caught the reflection of the two of you in the large window that lit the room and his grip tightened, almost possessively. "You're not alone anymore...got it? You've got your dad to keep you company..." You nodded against his chest, sniffling.

"Got it." You responded softly, hugging him a bit tighter. Maybe this wasn't so bad. Maybe Homelander, no, your father was what was best for you. How could you have been living in the dark for so long without realizing it...? You were truly lost. But everything was okay now. You were finally safe, in your fathers embrace.

Homelander smiled wickedly at his own reflection in the window before he rested his cheek on your head. Finally...he had you. His own child that he had been trying to get his bloody hands on for years...Losing another Vought scientist was a necessary sacrifice in the bigger picture of his perfect narrative...and it all started right here. With you. His child. He smiled as he pulled away from the hug, his hands gently squeezing your shoulders.

"How does a milkshake sound, huh? I know Planet Vought has a double chocolate one that's yummers." You smiled and nodded as he moved his thumb to wipe the tears from your cheeks.

"I love chocolate." You said with a small laugh. Homelander chuckled as he turned you towards the door of the meeting room and started walking, his firm hand on your shoulder urging you forward.

"I know."

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I hope ya’ll enjoyed! I left it open for more parts so totally let me know if you’d be interested in reading more. Writing for Homes is always a questionable adventure 💀 Until next time, Adieu!

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hi, i'm fourteen and i have this friend who asked me if i wanted to try eating her out. not a girlfriend, a friend. i don't have any feelings for her but i do think she's gorgeous and she's probably the best friend i have and the most mature 14 year old i know. i trust her a lot. im definitely not opposed to trying to give her head, either. i'm just worried it might be a bad idea, and i'm anxious that i won't do it right and she won't even feel good. i definitely don't want to have sex this early but does giving someone else head even count as real sex? she wouldn't really be touching me at all, except for she did say she'd want us to make out before i did it, though i'm not entirely sure why, but i am okay with it. i'm also worried about, like, STDs, because i've never been with another person like... sexually, i've kissed other people but i haven't in a while. but i think she might have done stuff with people? i don't know how recently. like... i don't know, do you think this is a really bad idea and we're too young or is this fine? how do you even eat someone out, like, what do you do? sorry if this is annoying i just really need an adult to ask about this and it's not like i can ask my parents since i'm not really supposed to do this.

hi anon,

thank you for asking! I'm really grateful to be an adult that you trust enough to talk with about stuff like this. it's not annoying, and I'll do the best I can to give a helpful answer based on everything you've told me.

I think maybe, in your case, this might not be a great idea right now. it sounds like there's a lot about this situation that makes you nervous in a way that's not fun - the kind of nerves that come from being excited to connect with a new person are one thing, but I'm hearing much more anxiety than excitement in the way you're talking about this.

oral sex (using your mouth) definitely counts as real sex - it's definitely not just putting a penis in a vagina! - and can be just as intimate and emotionally complicated as any other kind of sexual expression. you said you don't want to be having sex at your age - which is totally normal, and completely your choice to make! - and that includes oral sex as well, so maybe it's best if you sit this one out for the time being.

I want to be super clear that I'm not saying this out of any sense that no people your age should be sexual; I think wanted sexual exploration between young teens can be a great way to start exploring sexuality and finding what feels good! but that doesn't mean that every teenager has to be having sex, or that they're immature if they don't. people are ready to explore sex at lots of different ages (and some people never do at all), and none of them are weird or wrong. you could feel totally different in ten years, one year, a month, or even a week, but right now you don't feel ready, and what you feel right now is what's most important.

holding off until you've had time to learn more about sex may also help, because every situation is less scary when you feel more prepared. (it's why they make you spend so many godforsaken hours practicing driving before you can take the test to get your license.) in the spirit of learning, I want to share some resources about some of the things you had questions/concerns about.

this page on Planned Parenthood's website talks about lots of different kinds of sexually transmitted infections (STIs, also frequently called sexually transmitted diseases, or STDs), including how they're spread and how to treat them. I don't want to make STIs sound scary - I recently wrote a whole post about how they really shouldn't be! - but because it is important to know what risks there are if you plan to be sexually active so that you can do your best to minimize those risks, and what to do if someone does catch an STI. an important thing to remember is that, at your age, it might be difficult for you or your friend to get tested for STIs without help from your parents, which may be awkward and unpleasant or totally impossible if you're unable to tell them why you need a test in the first place. that's an important factor in deciding whether or not to have sex!

additionally, here's some info about dental dams, which are basically condoms for oral sex - they're a flat piece of latex, like a condom that got rolled out, that goes between the mouth and the hole.

and to help with your question about how going down even works, I recommend this video by sexologist Dr. Lindsey Doe. you won't be seeing any real genitals in this video, although there is a drawing and some nude Barbies, and you'll probably want to listen with headphones unless you're alone. there are also links to more of Dr. Doe's videos on the topic.

and lastly, for more thinking about this topic, I want to direct you to Scarleteen's answer to help figure out when you're ready to start having sex, which is very good on its own and has links to some other good reading on the topic. Scarleteen is a great resource specifically designed and run to help answer teenagers' questions about sex without judgment, and I recommend them very heavily.

I hope that this has been useful, and helps you feel empowered to make whatever decision is best for you.

[lancermylove]

Learning His Language (HC)

Fandom: Twisted Wonderland

Pairing: Leaders x gn!Reader

Warning: None

Requested by: Anon

Prompt: I saw the post about the requests being open but everything said it was closed. So if they are closed my apologies. May I request a Gn reader trying to learn the dorm leaders languages. Like how Idia is Greek or malleus being like Celtic?Again if I was wrong and requests are closed I apologize.

A/N: Requests were open. I had the open post queued and forgot to change closed to open in the other places. 😅

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Idia Shroud (Greek)

Not many have taken an interest in his culture, so when he hears you trying to speak Greek behind closed doors, he is shocked. He hears wedding bells.

Ortho tells him to let you learn on your own, but Idia can't possibly do that. So, he develops an app for you.

Not once does he laugh when you mispronounce something, and he is surprisingly patient with you.

With his help, you will be speaking Greek in no time. Then, the two of you can make fun of the other students without them knowing.

Malleus Draconia (Celtic)

The prince is pleasantly surprised with your attempts at learning one of the Celtic languages. It is a sign to him that you are taking your relationship seriously (if you are dating him), or it is a sign of respect.

He personally teaches you and asks Lilia to help. While Malleus takes a serious approach, Lilia takes a laid-back approach.

They often share ancient stories and traditions to give you context.

Malleus likes to tease you when you say something wrong, but he never pushes any limits; his words are more playful. The prince doesn't want to make you nervous or anxious to speak with him.

Leona Kingscholar (African)

When Leona hears you struggling to speak of the African languages (take your pick), he chuckles to himself.

Initially, the prince doesn't care, but he is surprised when he sees that you are making a genuine effort.

He personally teaches you, but once in a while, and makes things very easy for you. Let's just say he is a great teacher when he wants to be.

The prince admires your efforts and, shockingly, never makes fun of you for making mistakes; rather, he quickly corrects you and tells you why what you said was incorrect.

Once you are fluent, he likes to speak to you in his national language, especially while looking others in the eyes. Leona likes to make them feel uncomfortable by making them think he is talking about them.

Riddle Roseheart (British)

The moment he hears you trying to speak English, he becomes your teacher, even if you don't want him to be. He is determined to teach you.

Riddle is the best teacher you can ask for, but he can be very strict. Expect him to send you texts about grammar rules and give you short quizzes just to see your progress.

With him teaching you, you will be a pro at English in a few months.

Meanwhile, the students in Heartslabyul hear wedding bells and can't wait to attend your wedding in the future.

Azul Ashengrotto (Sea)

It takes a lot of convincing to get Jade to give you books so that you can learn the language of the sea creatures.

The first page of the book is enough to make your head spin, and when you go to Jade with tears in your eyes, he is already prepared to help you.

When Azul sees Jade teaching you their language, he is shocked. Why didn't you just come to him directly?

From then on, Azul personally teaches you, and he makes the lessons fun by involving movies, music, and easy-to-remember examples.

He wonders why you wanted to learn his language but hasn't gathered enough courage to ask you directly. Do you like him or something?

Vil Shoenheit (German)

He catches you trying to learn German while walking in the hallway of Ramshackle. Your pronunciations are so off that it makes him want to facepalm, but Vil understands that German pronunciations are difficult.

Like many others on this list, he becomes your personal tutor. But you are expected to follow his rules and be dedicated. No excuses.

Vil truly admires the effort you put in, even if you make mistakes. If you ever feel uncomfortable or frustrated, he motivates and encourages you.

Sometimes, when Vil is busy, Rook will come in his stead. You thought the hunter only knew French? No, he learned German for Vil.

Kalim Al-Asim (Arabic)

Kalim can't control his happiness when he hears you speaking broken and incorrect Arabic for the first time. He gives you a bone-crushing hug.

He tries to teach you, but you end up confused each time. Jamil can't take it anymore and volunteers to be your personal tutor alongside Kalim.

While the dorm leader shares the Arabic culture, movies, and music with you, Jamil teaches you the technical parts of the language.

When you start speaking somewhat fluently, Kalim throws a party in your honor. Then, he calls his siblings and tells them he is ready to bring their sister-in-law/brother-in-law home with him.

———————————————

➣ Twisted Wonderland [1][2][3] ➣ Main Masterlist

[tkwrites]

Understanding (or the one in which Jack Hughes is forced to get over himself) - Quinn Hughes x ofc

Author: Tory / @tkwrites 

Relationship: Quinn Hughes x Sarah Roberts (ofc) 

Summary: Still upset about finding out about Sarah from Brady, Jack has some hesitations when he and Luke come to town for the Finals. Can he get over himself enough to see what Quinn and Sarah has is real?

Warnings: Angst, sibling fighting, light body shaming

Word Count: 5,600

Comments: I’ve been working on this fic for almost three months and tossing around ideas for it since December. On Thursday, something clicked into place, and the story just fell together. I really like the way it turned out, and I hope you like it too! 

If you enjoyed this, please let me know by commenting, reblogging, or sending in an ask. Your encouragement and comments truly inspire me to keep writing. 

I love Quinn and Sarah, and I’m constantly blown away that so many of you love them, too.

 Understanding (or the one in which Jack Hughes is forced to get over himself)

A Quinn & Sarah Snapshot

Sarah was sitting in the living room, trying not to freak out. Their night before had been one to remember, and her hips were still sore and achy from it in the most satisfying way. 

But even remembering Quinn giving her so many orgasms she lost count — murmuring how proud he was of her with each and every one of them — couldn’t take away from the fact that his brothers were about to arrive. 

Sarah and her siblings were close, but Quinn and his brothers were closer. They were all in the same phase of life - all playing professional hockey, all unmarried, and all figuring things out. Even Luke, who she knew, had been dating his girlfriend Kylee for two and a half years wasn’t in a place to get married, especially not while Kylee was still in school. 

It was so different from her own siblings, who were both in the young family stage of life while she was still figuring out no-longer-single life and dating-a-professional-athlete life. 

She loved her siblings, but they had less in common than they used to.

It felt like a huge test to be accepted by his family — his best friends. She wasn’t totally sure what she’d do if they didn’t like her. 

When she’d brought that up to Quinn after they’d finally collapsed into bed, he had pulled her close, kissed her forehead, and assured her, “they’re going to love you. I love you, so they’re going to love you.” 

She hadn’t pointed out how flawed his logic was. 

Quinn appeared at her side, holding a shot of rum, “here, I think you might need this.” 

“I thought you said I don’t have anything to be worried about!”

“I don’t think you do.”

Her eyebrows shot up, “but you think I should take a shot?” 

He gulped nervously, “Jack can just be kind of a lot. I’m not sure he’s totally over the whole, I didn’t tell him first thing.” 

Her eyes went wide, and while Quinn had the best of intentions, he realized what a stupid move this was. Instead of calming her down, he was making her more anxious. He tried to backtrack, “you don’t have to. It was a stupid idea,” he said before starting back to the bar — intent on dumping the alcohol down the drain.

“No, come back.” 

He turned, and she reached for the small glass, “it will take the edge off.”

Taking a deep breath, she tossed the liquor into her mouth. As soon as she’d swallowed, she pulled a face, “ugh, I hate shots. Remind me to never do that again.” 

Laughing, he lifted the glass out of her hands and leaned down to kiss her. They stayed that way for a while, each of them remembering slices of the night before. 

His phone trilled. He would have picked them all up from the airport, but Jack had insisted on renting a car for them to use while they were here, so there was no need.

The dinner they’d ordered was on it’s way, and everything was going to be fine. 

Having finished her finals the day before, Sarah had spent most of the day relaxing and sleeping in Quinn’s bed. He’d left for practice, then crawled back in bed with her when he got home, happy to fall asleep again, holding her close.

As a result, he looked refreshed and clear headed. 

“You ready?” he asked when the elevator dinged. 

She nodded, standing and wrapping her arms around his torso. 

She was wearing the same jeans she’d worn when she met the team and a cream colored top, partially unbuttoned, so he could see just a hint of her cleavage.

“It’s going to be fine,” he assured. 

The very fact that he kept saying it made Sarah wonder if he was trying to convince himself into believing it. 

She should have worn the green dress. When she’d been packing to stay at Quinn’s overnight, she’d convinced herself the boyfriend jeans were lucky enough now, and she didn’t need to pull out the big guns. Plus, she didn’t want Quinn to think she only had one outfit she wore when she was nervous. Now, that didn’t seem like it mattered much, and she wished she had the comforting assurance of it with her. 

When Quinn opened the door and his brothers came tumbling into the apartment, Sarah immediately understood what her own brother had missed out on by only having two sisters. 

They were so distinctly…male. There was a lot of congratulatory hair mussing and punching going on in celebration of Quinn making the finals.

Ellen was dutifully waiting for them to be done so she could hug her eldest. 

To Sarah’s surprise, Jim was the first one to greet her, offering a hug she gladly accepted. 

When they broke apart, Quinn moved to introduce everyone, “Sarah,” he said, and everyone’s eyes snapped to him, “these are my brothers Jack and Luke. Guys, this is Sarah.” 

Luke gave her a shy smile and offered her a hand to shake. Jack didn’t move other than to give her a curt nod. 

“It’s nice to finally meet you,” she said, pulling a smile onto her face she hoped masked her disappointment at his clipped response. 

Ellen rolled her eyes and crossed the room to give her a hug. 

The front desk buzzed up to let them know their food was delivered, and Sarah offered to go collect it just to get away from the tense meeting. 

When they sat down to eat, Sarah was able to engage Luke in conversation, and they started talking about his girlfriend Kylee, who would be coming out once she had finished her finals. Once the ice was broken, Luke was easy to talk to, and they swapped stories about work and growing up.

More than once in their conversation, Sarah caught Ellen shooting disappointed looks at her middle son, who couldn’t seem to stop staring at her, but didn’t say a word.

The conversation lulled, and Jack spoke for the first time, “so, Sarah, what are you going to do when you’re done with school?” His tone was almost accusatory, like he expected her to say she would be moving to Dubai and leaving Quinn behind.

“I’m not really sure yet. I like working at the aquarium, so I wouldn’t mind staying there. But if I could get a job in conservation, that would be ideal. I feel more passionate about it.” 

“What would you do in conservation?” he asked. It sounded a little like they were rehearsed questions on Jacks part, as if he were trying to appease someone by making conversation but didn’t actually care much about the subject. 

“Well, there’s a lot that crosses over in terms of what can be done in the wild to make our oceans more habitable to everything that lives in them. And if we need to do any rescue and rehab, I can help care for most of those animals.” 

“So you’re like a vet?” 

“No, I can’t administer any medical treatment, but I can assist. I thought about going into veterinary medicine, but it would have meant seven more years of school, and there’s a lot of aspects of being a vet that terrify me.” 

“Like what?” he asked with an arched eyebrow, as if her admitting she had weaknesses was completely unexpected. 

Sarah flicked a glance at Quinn, who was looking at his brother with narrowed eyes, as if trying to figure out what he was getting at. 

“Well, I’m not great with blood, for one. Plus, the smell of hospitals tends to give me panic attacks.” 

Somehow, this admission made Jack relax. She was human, after all. When they met June, she was all smiles and rainbows and didn’t admit to having faults of any kind. Quinn talked about how genuine Sarah was, but Jack wanted to see it for himself. 

Quinns eyes darted to her, and she gave him a small smile. 

“What is it about hospitals?” Jim asked. 

She took a deep breath and reached for Quinn’s hand under the table. Their fingers entwined, and he gave her a reassuring squeeze. 

“My mom died of cancer, so she spent a good portion of the last six months of her life in a hospital, and every time I came home, I would have to see her there. The smell always transports me straight back.” 

Quinn didn’t hesitate to put his arm around her, and she leaned into his shoulder, blinking a few times. 

Jack looked between them and felt something twist in his gut. This was so much more serious than he wanted to believe. He’d seen the signs from Quinn — the dreamy look he often got when he talked about her, and how it seemed like they were together all the time, or the way he talked about the future, like he couldn’t envision one without her in it. 

The two sides of his mind warred. On one hand, he was glad Quinn found her, but on the other, he was still pissed he was the last one to know. He and Quinn were supposed to be best friends as well as brothers. He’d never keep something like that from Quinn, and it hurt every time he remembered Brady asking, “so what do you think of Sarah?”

Then, there was the whole issue of Sarah herself. Not that she was bad looking. She was pretty. But June was gorgeous, and Jack couldn’t help but think that Sarah was a bit of a step down. 

The meal ended on less tense terms than it started on, and Quinn took Sarah home. 

“Was it okay?” he asked. 

She knotted her fingers together in her lap, “I don’t know. Was it? You know Jack better than I do.” 

One of his hands dragged over his face before he reached for hers. 

Gratefully, she took it, glad for the reassurance of his touch. 

He felt off kilter. The end was such a stark contrast to the beginning that he had a hard time reconciling that morning as part of the same day. 

“Can you come up for a minute?” she asked when he pulled in front of her building. 

He glanced over with raised eyebrows only to find nervousness clearly written on her face. “Yeah, of course,” he said and flipped around to find a spot to park. 

They got up to her apartment, which she knew would be empty - Eunice had gone home to stay with her parents for a week, and Jane was working. As soon as the door shut behind them, she wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her head on his chest. 

“What’s up?” Quinn asked, his hands heavy and comforting on the small of her back. 

“I just —” Sarah could feel the tears she’d pushed off for the drive home forcing their way up to the surface. 

She sniffed, and Quinn pulled back, “what’s wrong?” 

Sarah wiped her cheeks. “What if —” She didn’t want to say it out loud, but she needed to. Talking about it would make it better. She knew that, but it was still scary as hell to voice the anxiety that was eating away at her peace of mind. Not only was the summer going to fucking suck, “I think Jack hates me.” 

Something behind his sternum fractured, “Jack doesn’t hate you.”

Looking up to meet his eyes, she asked, “really? Because it doesn’t seem like he likes me very much.”

“I think he just needs time to adjust to the situation. He’s still mad at me that I didn’t tell them first.”

“I don’t understand that either. My sister was the second person I told.” Technically, she’d been the 4th with her roommates, but no need to split hairs. Rachel was the second person she’d told on purpose.

He pulled a calming breath into his chest. “I think Brady mentioned June to you?” She nodded, and he continued, “June was…” how did he even find the right words? “We dated for a long time. Way longer than we should have. We weren’t good together. I mean, you know all that weird shit she had about sex, and she would break up with me every few months, then come back after a few days, begging to get back together.” 

“That sounds exhausting.”

“It wasn’t great,” he admitted ruefully. “Anyway, my family never really came out and said they didn’t like her. They only said it after I called it off for good. I remember Jack told me, ‘Thank god, I never liked that bitch.’” 

Sarah wrinkled her nose, and Quinn laughed, “yeah. Brady was the only one who told it to me straight from the beginning. He was pretty frank with me; his family doesn’t really beat around the bush about anything. He encouraged me to break it off for good. Anyway, when we met,” he gestured between them, “I was kind of hesitant to tell anyone. Not because I thought you were like June. You’re not. In any way. But I didn’t… I didn’t really trust my own judgment, you know?” 

She didn’t, but she nodded anyway. That was something they could unpack later.

“I wanted Brady to meet you first since he and Emma had been so honest.” 

This, she knew from conversations with Ellen and Brady himself, but it was nice to hear it from Quinn. 

“Before I had a chance to tell him, Brady asked Jack what he thought of you while they were playing in Ottawa, and he called me, pretty pissed. I think he’s still caught on that.” 

Pursing her lips, she wasn’t totally sure what the protocol for this was. “Is there anything I can do to fix it? I don’t want —” she broke off, feeling she couldn’t say it. She didn’t want Jack to come between them. She didn’t want to have to forge a new relationship when Quinn’s brother and best friend didn’t like her, and she didn’t want to put Quinn in a position where he would have to choose.

That fracturing feeling was back. 

“That’s not going to happen,” Quinn said, picking up on what he thought the subtext of the conversation was as he ran his hands up and down her arms. “I think he just needs time. Jack doesn’t really hate anyone. It’s not in his nature.” 

“Was he like this with Kylee?” 

“No, but Luke and Kylee were friends in high school and college, so we knew her before they started dating.” 

She thunked her forehead onto his chest and took a deep breath. 

One of his hands ran over her hair, “I’m sorry. I know this put you in a really weird position.” 

She felt his words in his chest at the same time she heard them and swallowed the feeling whole. 

“I just don’t want to lose you,” she said, nuzzling into his shirt

“You’re not going to lose me,” he said. Definitive. Simple. Straight to the point. 

She knew she sounded whiney, but she needed to say it, “but what happens if he never likes me? I don’t want you to feel like you have to choose.” 

“Jack’ll come around. He’s never been able to hold grudges for very long.”

Looking up at him, then, hope filled her face, and he kissed her, hoping it reassured her. He was sure Jack would come around as soon as he could get his head out of his ass.  

“I’m sorry, but I need to get back,” he said as gently as he could. Not only was there a game tomorrow, he knew his brothers would want to talk. 

Swallowing down the loneliness of being in the apartment by herself for the night, she nodded. “I’ll see you tomorrow?” 

‘Tomorrow,” he repeated before pressing a kiss to her forehead. “I love you.”

“I love you too. One more?”

He couldn't resist.

One turned into six or seven, and he pulled away feeling light. “Jack’ll come around,” he assured again before kissing her once more and turning to go. 

“I mean, she’s pretty and all,” Jack was saying as they stood in the living room. Their parents had gone to bed, so it was best to have this conversation on the floor below. “But don’t you think she’s a little big?”

Luke stared at Jack while Quinn glared at him. “What?” 

“Don’t get me wrong, she has a pretty face, but her thighs are kind of huge.” 

Luke spoke before Quinn could follow through with punching his brother in the face. “Is this because you actually think that, or because you’re mad Quinn didn’t trust you enough to tell you first?” 

“Trust us,” Jack corrected through a jaw clenched so tight, it answered Lukes question for him. 

“Fine. Whatever,” Luke said. He’d come to terms with it. He had been too scared to tell Quinn what he thought of June. After thinking it over, it did make sense for him to go to the only person in his life who made their concerns clear and keep Sarah from everyone else. They got attached to June, or at least to the idea of her. Luke had never really liked her. But he liked the idea of Quinn having a girlfriend. Of him having someone here in Van while the rest of them were all out east. 

Now that he had met Sarah in person, not just talked on the phone with her - which Jack had made feel more like a job interview than a welcoming, get to know you chat - he understood just how bad of a match June had been for Quinn.

Gone were the tense morning phone calls after a blowout fight. Gone were the sick-in-love nights where Quinn was hanging up early before really talking to either of them so he could spend time with June while the getting was good. Gone were the confused, “I don’t know what she wants from me,” talks that happened way too often for Luke's liking. 

Not only was Sarah more stable, Luke felt like Quinn was more stable with her. 

“I’m saying it because it’s true,” Jack said, clinging to his pride. “You’re an athlete, Q. Do you really think she can keep up with the lifestyle?” 

“It’s not like she needs to go to the gym with me every day,” Quinn shot back. 

“The girls you’ve dated before have been…” 

“Listen, Jack. Yes, Sarah might be a little bigger than the girls I’ve dated before, but she’s more than all of them.” 

“I’ll say she’s more,” Jack snided. 

Luke stepped in, “don’t be such a dick.” 

“It’s true.”

“She’s better,” Quinn corrected, and his voice went hard. “She’s better than any of those girls. More driven and more supportive and more understanding and loving than anyone I’ve ever dated.” 

That stopped Jack in his tracks. He opened his mouth, then closed it again, unsure of what to say. 

This. This was the thing he was most scared of. 

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Jack knew Quinn or Luke would eventually get married, and their unit would be changed forever. They wouldn’t be The Hughes Boys anymore. Not like they had been. They would be different. Sarah was coming in and stealing his brother from him. 

“And just for the record,” Quinn said, getting in Jack’s face with a fierceness Luke rarely saw directed at either of them when talking about something so serious, “I don’t think Sarah’s fat, and I don’t think you do either. You never called Madeline fat, and she’s bigger than Sarah.” 

Madeline was a plus-size model Jack had quietly dated and broken up with the year before. 

Luke wondered, not for the first time, how much of their breakup was caused by Jack’s need to be perceived a certain way. Madeline was stunningly beautiful, but there were comments swirling all the time about how much bigger she was than him, and how could he possibly want to date someone so large, despite the fact that she was incredibly successful and was one of the most gorgeous women he’d ever seen. Not to mention that she kept to a diet that would put all of them to shame. 

Caught, Jack snapped his mouth shut and glared. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, okay?” Quinn practically begged. “I should have, and I didn’t, but that doesn’t mean you need to take it out on her.” 

Luke was struck at how much his oldest brother was trying to protect his girlfriend. Jack could say what he wanted about him, but when it came to Sarah, he was trying to put blame back where it belonged. 

Quinn sunk into the club chair closest to him, raking his hands into his hair. 

“Can you just TRY to get to know her?” he asked. “I think you’ll really like her if you get to know her.” 

Jack huffed a breath through his nose and nodded once. Once again, he was struck with a sudden sense of vertigo, like everything around him was shifting and changing, pulled just off kilter. 

He wasn’t blind, as much as he wanted to be. He knew Quinn, and the very fact he was directing the blame back on himself again and again told Jack all he needed to know about how he felt about Sarah. Even though he didn’t know her very well and resented the swift way she’d blown into Quinns life, Jack could see she would be around for a long time. 

A few days later, as they sat around the table to eat breakfast, Ellen met Quinn's eyes, a warm smile lighting her face. “She's good. I really like her.”

Quinn knew his mom liked Sarah from when she first met his parents several weeks before.

Still, hearing her say this after seeing her interact with the rest of the family meant more. Some of the lingering anxiety he felt blew away. Jack still didn't love her, but he was softening up. Quinn wasn't sure anyone would ever live up to Jack's ideal standard. Luke loved everyone and liked to talk to her about the ocean. Plus, it seemed like she’d get along great with Kylee. 

His dad nodded in agreement, “don't fuck it up.”

That spoke louder to Quinn than anything else he could have said. “I don't plan to.”

“Make sure you don't. She's good for you. Good for the family, too.”

“Too good for him,” Luke added quietly. 

“That goes without saying. Most women will be for all of you.”

Jack scoffed. 

“Is she coming to Hawaii?” his mom asked. 

“What?” Jack exclaimed. “She can't come to Hawaii! That's our trip.”

Ellen looked at her middle son patiently, waiting for his instinctive reaction to calm down so he could think clearly. 

“I asked her,” Quinn said, “but -”

Jack broke in, his hot head getting the best of him,“you talked about this without me?”  

“Relax Jack,” Luke said. 

“But she told me no,” Quinn finished. 

“She told you no? She told me all sorts of things we should do from when she lived there. I was really hoping she could show us around,” Ellen admitted.

“I know,” Quinn said. “She said she didn't want to tread on family time.”

“She's going to be a part of this family, isn't she?” Ellen asked. 

Jack glared at her, “mom, it hasn't even been six months.”

“Five months can tell you a lot, Jack. Can't you see how much your brother loves her? And how much she loves him?” 

Jack had to admit she was right. Quinn was more settled - no, that wasn't it. He had always been settled. He was more…at ease. A better, less worried version of himself. It was like Sarah had come in and soothed all this anxiety and all these fears that had been bubbling beneath Quinn’s skin. Only when they were gone did Jack notice. 

And Sarah was…sweet. She was considerate and kind and tried her best to engage him in conversation. 

“Sar told me she would only come if everyone said it was okay, especially you, Jack.” 

Jack looked at his brother, totally taken aback. Something in him shifted. “Really?” 

Quinn nodded. “She doesn't want to tread on our time. She knows we don't get much time together anyway.”

Jack had been feeling like she'd just come barging into their family, taking his brother away from him. He'd heard Quinn talk about her, but seeing it in real life - seeing how much time they spent together, how they had their own little language, and always seemed to be touching each other - he wasn't ready to lose his brother like that. 

But this shifted things a bit. It was one thing to visit the lake house or even tag along to a big family vacation, but the trip to Hawaii was more than that. It was going to be just them. Even Kylee wasn't coming. He was pretty sure it was because she had a family reunion of her own she couldn't skip out on, but the sentiment still counted. 

“I'll think about it,” Jack agreed begrudgingly. 

The morning after the Canucks were eliminated, Sarah wandered down to the kitchen wearing one of Quinn’s Michigan shirts and a pair of his boxers, still slightly twisted slightly from sleep. 

“Oh,” she greeted hesitantly upon seeing him at the bar, “morning, Jack.”

Watching her and Quinn interact last night had cracked something in him. Not only that Sarah was here to stay, but it awoke a kind of longing to have someone totally accept him. 

It was made even worse when he wandered up to the gaming room, figuring he could at least watch some TV if he couldn’t get any sleep, and heard noise from Quinn’s bedroom that let him know they were going at it. He didn’t ever want to think about his brother having sex, but the fact that Quinn had so many different levels of comfort available - all seemingly tailored to meet his exact needs - after a hard day woke a deep longing for that kind of intimacy in Jack. He hadn’t allowed himself to want it, at least since he and Madeline broke up.

He gave up on the gaming room and slept on the uncomfortable living room sofa. Now his shoulder was sore, and his hips hurt, and he hadn’t gotten nearly enough sleep. 

“Morning,” he mumbled, hating that she felt like she needed to tip toe around him. He knew it was his own fault, but now he was in so deep that he wasn’t sure how to get out of it. The conversation about Hawaii, realizing she was thinking about their family as well as her relationship with Quinn along with what happened the night before, had him feeling ready to make peace with her. Except that would just be him admitting he was wrong, which seemed so much easier than it felt. 

She put a pod in the coffee maker, more at home in Quinns house than he was. That was a new feeling. Jack had searched for the coffee pods that morning, and when he couldn’t find one, settled for milk. Now, he wondered why Quinn kept them in the drawer beneath the coffee maker when it would have made more sense to keep them in the cupboard above. 

“How did you sleep?” she asked, leaning her butt on the counter while the machine gurgled. 

He shrugged, “Luke snored all night.” 

Wrinkling her nose, she said, “I’m sorry.”

“We haven’t had to share a room when he’s not exhausted from hockey in a long time.” 

She nodded, pulling creamer out of the fridge. 

He watched her walk back to her mug, noting the way her thighs trembled with each step. He loved that about Madeline. The softness of her. She was stunning, but not hard. Before he’d met her, he didn’t know those things could coexist. 

“How did you sleep?” 

“Good,” she said, “Quinn was so exhausted, I don’t think he turned over once.” 

“Isn’t he the worst?” Jack said with a loud, laughing groan. “Flailing all over the bed.”

Sarah snorted when he nearly fell backward off the stool in his demonstration of flailing limbs. “Has he always done that?” 

“Since we were kids. He must be a nightmare to share a bed with.” 

“Thankfully, I don’t think I’ve experienced any flailing. He must be a little less writhe-y now, but if we’re not cuddling, he does usually toss and turn all night.” 

“Good,” he said, and then immediately felt stupid. What was she supposed to say to that now? 

“Where are your parents?” she asked instead, bringing the mug to her lips to blow on the hot liquid. 

“They went to get breakfast or something,” he said with a vague gesture over his shoulder. “They invited me, but I went back to sleep.” 

“Have you eaten? I was about to cook some eggs.” 

“Is Quinn up?” he asked. 

“He was still conked out when I got up. I figured I’d let him sleep. No use in waking him when he’s finally getting some solid rest.” 

There it was again - that pinch of jealousy. She knew him in ways Jack didn’t, like her knowledge that cuddling kept Quinn still at night, and she obviously liked to care for him. 

It’s not like he didn’t want her in his brothers life. She obviously made Quinn happy, and all Jack really wanted was for him to be happy. 

It was a weird, night and day difference between Quinn now and Quinn at the beginning of the season. When they’d left Michigan in September, it wasn’t like Quinn had been depressed - he’d been excited to get back to hockey - but he’d spent so much of the off season wondering if he and June were actually a good match that when he left, it felt like he was leaving without having anything truly resolved. When they’d finally broken up in November, a huge sigh of relief  had swept through Quinn’s whole life. 

Looking back now, Jack should have known something was up when Quinn started calling them, relaxed and cheerful, quick with a smile and a joke in a way he hadn’t been since he and June had broken up. Now, he was happy and content, and Jack could practically see the love he had for Sarah glowing on his skin. 

After spending time with her, he understood how Quinn had fallen so hard, so fast. She was kind but willing to put in the work, genuine and honest, but funny and snarky.

Might as well just get it over with. 

“Listen, Sarah,” he began, looking down at his glass of milk, “I’m sorry.”

She continued to look at him over her mug. It struck him that she waited for him to finish without jumping in or jumping to conclusions. 

A smile reached her eyes. 

“You’re really good for Quinn,” he admitted.

Something in her heart fluttered.

“And I’m sorry I’ve been kind of a dick. With June it was pretty obvious they weren’t going to last so I never put much stock in her, but I…” he chewed briefly on this thumbnail, thinking, “but I can see how you guys are good together.” 

He blew out a deep breath. “It’s just…Quinn’s my brother, you know?” Shaking his head, he raked a hand into his hair, “I’m sorry, I'm not making any sense.”

“It’s okay, Jack,” she said, her voice calm. He wondered if she ever raised it. “I’ve been through this, too, when my sister started dating someone seriously. It’s weird and hard when someone new comes into your family.”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t ever want you to feel like I’m taking Quinn away from you or something.” 

“You couldn’t,” he said, then realized how stupid that sounded. “I mean, I know you wouldn’t. I can see that now.” 

Smiling in a way he realized was totally genuine, she set her mug on the counter. “Thank you, Jack. That means a lot coming from you.”  

It was like she knew all he needed was time. There were no hard feelings, no grudges or fits. No glares from across the room. She just waited and gave him time, and wasn’t mad at how much he needed. 

And now that he’d admitted it, she let it lie, changing the subject as soon as it’d been put to rest. “So, do you want some eggs?” she asked, turning back to the fridge. 

It was a refreshing turn of events. 

“Sure,” he stood from the bar stool, “how can I help?” 

By the time Quinn wandered down the stairs, clumsy with sleep and rubbing his eyes, they had omelets going. 

Looking nervously between Jack and Sarah, side by side in the kitchen, he briefly wondered if he was still dreaming. One night, and it seemed all of Jack’s hesitations had been put to bed. 

“Morning,” he yawned.

Sarah glanced over her shoulder, smiling bright, “hey, how’d you sleep?” 

“Good,” he said through another yawn as he walked up to them. He slipped an arm around Sarah’s waist and rested the other on Jacks shoulder, “you two made up?” 

“I don’t think we were fighting, really,” Sarah said, “but we came to an understanding.”

Jack smiled gratefully, and Quinn leaned in to kiss her cheek. 

Want more Quinn & Sarah? Check out the Snapshots Masterlist 

To read all my fics, check out the Fanfiction Masterlist

[wooahaes]

svt - coming out as bisexual [hyung line]

pairing: non-idol!svt hyung line x fem!bisexual!reader

genre: some are angstier and hurt/comfort, others are fluffier.

warnings: reader coming out as bisexual. cheol being anxious, misunderstandings. reader having several moments of thinking this would end a relationship (present in several drabbles). some drabbles has reader having known for a while, others have reader having realized it recently. implications of reader having bad past experiences with coming out to people (ex-boyfriend in shua and jihoon's). food mentions (cake in joshua's, vague dinner mention in jihoon's). mentions of exes (both ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends).

daisy's notes: happy pride :) no taglist on these because idk how many ppl off of it would care haha also might do the maknae line once i have ideas lol i already feel kinda repetitive with these since there's only so many ways to say 'i love and accept you' yknow?

choi seungcheol

seungcheol remembered your text from earlier: i have something i need to say. can we meet up soon?

which, as much as he hated to admit it, sent his mind into overdrive. it was vague enough that it could be plenty of things. you were sick, your friend was sick, your family member was sick, you were moving, you'd killed someone, you actually hated him and this was all some stupid bet... anything. so seungcheol waited in the park ten (okay, fifteen), leg bouncing restlessly as he waited for you. everything was okay, right? as long as you were safe, he could live with whatever thing came next.

but you greeted him nervously, a bit quieter than usual. the moment he went to take your hand, you'd jumped, and apologized with this flustered look on your face. yet you didn't take his hand, instead tucking them into your pockets as you set off along the park pathway. this sealed the deal: you were going to dump him.

he just wished you'd do it already. instead, you'd been casual enough in talking about whatever came to mind. you'd asked about him twice now (clearly feeling out whether he'd cry if you dumped him or if he'd hold himself together), asked about kkuma, asked about work... so seungcheol reached forward, catching you by the hand.

"if you're going to break up with me, it's okay. you can say it already."

immediately, you jerked around to face him. "oh my god. is that what you think this is?"

"yes?" he stared at you, and then shook his head. "no? you're acting strange, and i've been worried ever since i got your text this morning..."

you slowly exhaled a deep breath and then took his hands in your own. "i'm not breaking up with you," you said. "i..." you trailed off for just a moment, then swallowed hard. "seungcheol, i'm bisexual."

he said nothing at first, just staring at you as his mind just processed what he just heard. you're...?

"it's okay if this changes things," you said all too quickly, as if you were always prepared for him to say nothing or to react badly. "i get it. not everyone is okay with dating someone like me. it's not like there's someone else, but i kept thinking and—"

seungcheol took your face into his hands, just to stop you. "thank you for telling me," he said, voice soft. "i know this was a really big thing. but it doesn't change anything." he paused, and then let out an awkward laugh as his head dropped forward. "i was terrified something bad had happened!"

thankfully, it just earned an affectionate snort from you. "i'm sorry! i kept rereading my text and wondering if it was too serious. i'll do better next time i have something to tell you—"

"ah, don't coddle me—i'm ruining your moment now," he lifted his head so that he could look at you. "really, though... thank you for telling me. it would never change the way i look at you."

"i know." your voice was quieter now, so tiny as you gave him a shy smile. "that's why i wanted to tell you." you cupped his cheek with one hand, bringing him in for a soft kiss. "i want to be myself with you. and... i had to tell you, y'know?"

he could understand your reasoning. something bloomed in his chest. pride for you, first: coming out could be hard, and he was glad you felt safe enough with him to do so. and then a soft love, sweet as could be, that you wanted to be your most authentic self with him. the same way he wanted to be himself when he was with you.

yoon jeonghan

jeonghan's body was warm against your side, head resting on your shoulder as the two of you were enjoying your little movie night together. the smell of popcorn filled the air, the bowl haphazardly resting in his lap. the lip of it pressed into your thigh, and all you could focus on was the way your heart was racing a little. you rested your head against jeonghan's, shutting your eyes for a moment.

better now than never.

"i think she's really pretty," you said when the actress was alone on screen for a moment, your tone as casual as could be. an innocent enough comment, but one that would let you maybe gauge whether to keep going from here.

jeonghan hummed in agreement. "she is, yeah."

well, shit. that didn't tell you anything. but... with a deep breath, you pulled away from jeonghan to pause the movie. he sat up a little, watching you curiously for a moment as you turned to him. "jeonghan, i'm bisexual."

at first, he said nothing as he just watched you for a moment. "oh?"

already, your mind was going into panic mode. "shit, i--listen, i know how that sounds coming out of nowhere, but i--"

jeonghan's hands found your own quickly, and he squeezed them. "sorry!" he said it quickly, intertwining his fingers with your own so that he could press his palms flat against yours. "sorry. i... i should have reacted better." he just sat there, holding your hands for a moment. "i love you. but was that a test?"

"it... might have been."

he snorted a little. "you're so cute," he said. "but thank you for trusting me with this." he paused for a moment, "can i ask how long you've known, or...?"

ah. a scary question. "not long," you confessed. "i dunno, i just... one of my friends is bisexual, and she was talking about it a couple months ago, and a lot of the stuff she said kinda resonated with me? so i just... started questioning how and why and everything, and..." you pulled your hands free from his. "i just figured out that i wasn't as straight as i always thought i was."

his gaze softened. "oh. honey..." he reached forward to brush back a stray strand of hair from your face. "does she know?"

you shook your head. "you're the first person i've told, actually."

immediately, he drew his hand back as he stared at you. "... really?" and when you nodded, he leaned forward to kiss your cheek. "i'm honored you trust me so much, then," he giggled. "i love you. is it okay if i have questions?"

"like...?"

"just about how out you want to be," he said. "i won't tell anyone without asking, but... we'll talk about it later, okay? i want to support you however you need me to."

something melted inside of your chest at how soft he was treating you, voice so gentle. you'd fallen for the silly antics of jeonghan before you fell for how tender he could be. being around him was like being bathed in sunlight (sometimes after being doused in a water balloon thrown by him). you just snuggled in close as turning the movie back on, pressing a tiny kiss against the side of his neck.

joshua hong

joshua had been watching the way you moved about your kitchen with a new sense of nervousness to you. but he was used to it: baking was a hobby of yours he fully enjoyed reaping the rewards of, even if it meant seeing you a little nervous before he tested a new recipe for you. if it wasn't him, then it was your roommate, vernon, who would taste test. but he liked having the privilege of being your boyfriend and always asked first if he was free. you toted a cake toward the dinner table, knife clutched in your hand, and slowly set it down as carefully as you could.

"so what's this one?" he looked up at you, smiling a little. he loved seeing how flustered you'd get over this sort of thing.

"you'll see."

that was enough to throw him. since when did you not gush about whatever new recipe you'd found...? he watched the way you were hesitating.

"maybe this is stupid," you mumbled to yourself, clearly not intending for joshua to hear.

he reached up. "do you want me to cut it?" he stood up to stand next to you. "i can cut my own slice."

your hands were shaking. effortlessly, you let go of the knife when joshua pulled it from your grasp. without a word, you just sat down, watching intently as he gauged how big of a slice he'd get for himself.

and then he saw pink first, the cake crumbs giving it away. as he pulled out the slice, he was met with three colors: a pink top later, a purple middle layer, and a blue bottom layer, held together with purple icing between them. joshua wasn't an idiot: he'd seen pride flags before. he'd seen the bisexual one, too.

"... is there something you want to tell me?" he asked softly. "or is this for someone else?"

you shook your head. "it's for me." you had shut your eyes, lips now pressed firmly together. how afraid were you right now...? without a word, joshua pushed the cake away from the edge of the table, slice and knife and all. and then he kneeled down beside you, taking your hand into his.

"hey. i'm right here," he said. "i'm not going anywhere."

and then you were crying, all at once. joshua rose up to wrap his arms around you, letting you bury your face in his shoulder. was he the first person you'd ever told...? or had you really been that scared that he'd react badly? he just kissed the side of your head, holding your securely in his arms.

"i baked the stupid cake because if you reacted badly, i'd just go eat cake with vernon," you babbled through your sobs. "we still have to save him a slice of the stupid cake. but i kept freaking out because what if--" you hiccuped, "what if you left me?"

"i wouldn't," joshua hugged you a little tighter. "it doesn't change who you are, silly."

"doesn't it?"

his heart ached a little at that. had it changed you in someone else's eyes...? no matter. joshua still saw you as yourself, just with a little something new for him to file away in his brain for you.

"it doesn't," he reaffirmed. joshua drew back so that he could see your face again. "so... there's a really good cake sitting right here," he nodded toward it. "you wanna share it?"

it was a stupid change in topic, but the weak laugh it earned from you was enough to do the job. "yeah," you pecked his lips. "let's eat some cake. ice cream's in the freezer, shua."

wen junhui

jun liked to consider himself a good listener, especially when it came to you. he liked to sit back and just listen to you talk about anything and everything, whether it was your interests or the things that pissed you off or even about your work day. today, he'd been holding your hand, listening to you go on about some conversation with a friend.

"and i told her that i thought it was a dick move, you know? i mean, who fucking cares what he thinks? he's an ex-friend for a damn good reason."

jun, admittedly, had lost the story by this point. one of your friends had been in some fight, maybe? and said ex-friend had reached out to say something that pissed both you and your friend off. he wasn't sure what it was yet, but you seemed a little more fired up than usual.

"i don't know, like... who fucking cares? he's a sexist dick as it is. did he really need to add biphobia to the mix? like, who fucking cares that i'm dating a man? it doesn't mean i'm any less bisexual. it's like people don't actually give a shit when bisexual woman are bisexual if it doesn't visibly look--"

... wait a second.

"you're bisexual?" jun spoke before he'd thought, and he watched the clueless way you looked at him.

"... wait, i didn't tell you?"

jun just shook his head. that was the kind of thing he'd file away in his head as vital information in order to support you. how many times had you talked about this that he didn't realize...? fuck, how shitty of a boyfriend was he?

you just blinked at him for a moment. "jun, i was dating my ex-girlfriend when we met."

oh, shit, that was your ex-girlfriend...?

"oh." jun felt the heat rising to his cheeks. "i'm sorry, i didn't realize that--"

"no, don't," you waved a hand. "she really hated skinship so we were never touchy, which..." you raised your connected hands. you always reached out to take his hand every chance you got. "... is a huge reason why we didn't work out. i could have sworn..." then you trailed off. "oh."

"oh?" he parroted back at you.

"i really never told you." with a hum, you shrugged it off. "well, now you know. does it bother you?"

he shook his head immediately, "no! no, it's not--i just--"

"jun," you pulled your hand free, turning to face him. "don't get upset, okay? you didn't know because i didn't tell you. i don't need this to be a big deal, okay? i'm bisexual. it doesn't need to be some big thing, y'know?"

he nodded, taking in your words fully. if you didn't want for it to be a big deal, then he would let the issue rest. "okay. but... just so you know," he said, lowering his voice, "i love you."

you giggled, leaning in for a quick kiss. "i love you, too, silly."

kwon soonyoung

soonyoung liked seeing the life you lived before you met him. the two of you had curled up on the living room floor of your parents' house, his head resting on your shoulder as you told him old stories about your life. the amusement parks that you used to go to with your parents, old family dinners and get-togethers, the years you did theater in high school...

"oh!" you had flipped a page and spotted a picture of yourself surrounded by your friends. you had painted cheeks (pink, purple, blue in three close lines on both cheeks), and your arms wrapped around friends with their own painted flags on their cheeks. beads hung from your neck in various colors, all of you grinning at the camera. your dad was squished into frame, too, bearing a shirt that offered parental hugs. "mama took this one at my first pride event..."

soonyoung perked up a little. he'd gone to pride once before to support some of his friends. but he didn't dress up the way you did.

"ugh, it's so cheesy," you rolled your eyes. "i just came out to them as bi a few months earlier. i know i'm lucky, because they took it really, really well... but they'd been so goofy about it." you snorted. "i think they both still have the shirts."

"mhm?" he watched you. "i'm glad they support you."

"you could come, too, if you wanted." you snuggled in. "your my partner. you're supportive...?"

"very supportive," he giggled. "you don't have to take me if you don't want to."

"no, i do," you turned to him. "my parents are straight and they still came to support me. some people are always gonna have issues with it, but as long as you're being respectful then literally no one cares. and those who do usually just go home and bitch on social media about it," you shrugged. "you have a bisexual girlfriend to support. that's reason enough if you want to come."

"i'd love to," he wrapped his arms around yours, snuggling back in. "if you want me there, i'll be there."

you just smiled to yourself. he didn't have to say it any further, but the message was loud and clear: i see you and i accept you and i love you.

jeon wonwoo

"are you alright? you're quieter than usual."

the click of the turn signal filled the car for a moment as you watched lazily out the window. the two of you were more introverted, and after a few hours of socializing, you were the one who would usually recharge a bit in the car while wonwoo drove aimlessly. eventually, he'd ask if you were ready to go home (usually after he'd grown ready to be there, just to gauge where your energy level was). but the two of you usually talked a little, or listened to music and sang along. little things that weren't draining. not that being with wonwoo drained you in any way; he was the exception to how draining socializing could be.

"mhm." it was half-hearted, but you weren't sure what else to say. the two of you had been together this long, how were you supposed to just say you'd realized something about yourself lately?

"okay." wonwoo reached over, giving your thigh a gentle squeeze. "if you want to talk, i'm still here."

the car ride continued in silence for a bit longer. you fiddled with the radio at one point, growing a bit more restless with your thoughts. wonwoo had always been understanding. hell, the two of you would read books by queer authors and discuss them--if it was an issue for him, it would have come up long before now. but it was different, right? being for gay rights and actually dating someone bisexual? it had to be different. hell, you weren't even sure if you were--maybe you were just pretending, and this was all starting to feel stupid and maybe you were--

"honey?" wonwoo's voice was soft and so, so concerned. "you've turned the radio on and off five times now. what's wrong?"

... had you done that? that sounded oddly right. it was easy enough to bump the knob, listen to the radio, and then decide silence was better... only to change your mind again. "can i tell you something?"

he looked over, and then paused for a moment. "let me pull over."

"you don't have to--"

"it's serious, isn't it?" he looked at you. after you gave him a shy nod, then he continued, "i want to give you my full attention, then."

soon enough, he'd pulled over onto the side of the road. you floundered a bit, rambling until wonwoo took your hand in his own for a moment. he ran his thumb over the back of your thumb, slow and steady, and it made you feel grounded.

"it's okay," he said. "you can tell me anything."

so with a deep breath, you pulled yourself together. better to rip the band-aid off. "i think i'm bisexual."

wonwoo watched you carefully for a moment, and then slowly nodded. "okay." he held your hand in his own. a moment later, he quietly asked, "is that all?"

you shyly nodded quickly, face growing warmer by the second. "i'm not telling you because i want to open the relationship or anything," you said. "i just wanted to tell you."

he nodded. "okay," he squeezed your hand. "then thank you for telling me." wonwoo leaned forward, kissing your forehead gently.

an odd sense of uncertainty seemed to swirl in your stomach. he just... accepted it? that was good, but part of your couldn't fully believe it. you'd heard horror stories of relationships going south, of shitty partners becoming ex-partners because they tore their partner down. yet wonwoo just held your hand, running his thumb over your knuckles, and thanked you for telling him.

"is there anything i can do to help you figure it out?" he asked quietly. "i... could look into books, if you wanted to read about it. or--"

tears welled up in your eyes, and you found yourself laughing. "oh my god," the words spilled past your lips. "you're so cute."

wonwoo's eyes widened a little. "i'm... cute?"

why had you been so nervous? the uncertainty was dissipating little by little. it was wonwoo, one of the smartest and most polite men you'd ever met--let alone dated.

"you are," you leaned forward to peck his lips. "but... thank you," you smiled at him, looking at him so tenderly. "for accepting me."

he shyly smiled at the thanks. "you shouldn't be thanking me," he said. "it's the bare minimum." but he squeezed your hand one more time. "let's go home."

with him, you already were.

lee jihoon

"you said there was something you wanted to tell me?"

you had been ever-so-slightly off ever since jihoon met up with you outside your usual coffee shop. but the moment you took jihoon's hand in your own, his worries had been set a little bit at ease... until he realized you were dancing around whatever topic you wanted to bring up to him. he'd let the issue go for a bit: if you wanted to tell him something, you'd tell him when you were ready.

except that had been earlier. the two of you ended up catching a movie (his heart sped up a little when you rested your head on his shoulder, snuggling in happily), and then grabbed dinner at a local restaurant. now it was just the two of you, walking down a semi-empty street, with you rambling about the latest book you'd read.

you turned to him with a hum. "hm?"

"just..." jihoon squeezed your hand a little. "that's why you wanted to meet up. you said you wanted to tell me something."

your smile faltered for a second, twitching slightly as you averted your gaze. "right. yeah. there was something..." but you turned back to him, forcing a smile again. "it's not important."

"is it?" jihoon prodded slightly. he knew you well enough, despite the fact you hadn't been dating all that long. "are you sure?"

your smile fell again, and you let out a sigh. "okay." you squeezed his hand gently, "i just... i dunno. i'm nervous to say it out loud. my ex dumped me over it, and... i really like you, jihoon. but if i don't tell you, then i feel like i'm lying to myself and pretending to be someone i'm not, so..."

jihoon said nothing, just waiting patiently.

you stopped, turning to face him fully as you took both of his hands into your own. "i'm bisexual. i've known for a really long time, but i don't really broadcast that knowledge until i know i can trust someone. and you're... you're really sweet, and i like you, but i need to know that i can be myself around you."

you trusted him? jihoon felt his heart race a little in his chest at the implication. "thank you for telling me," he said, the words a little stiff and stilted as he tried to calm himself back down. you really liked him. you trusted him. the words kept running through his head. which... was really good, because he trusted and liked you, too. you'd been kind enough to take the relationship slow when he asked for it.

"you aren't mad?"

"why would i be?" he gently squeezed your hands, just to reassure you. "i..." his voice dropped a little lower, just to keep this between the two of you, "i really like you, too. and... and i'm glad i get to know you like this."

you just leaned forward, pressing a lingering kiss against his cheek. "i am, too."

and with his sweet acceptance, you fell a little more in love with lee jihoon all at once.

[brokenpieces-72]

I READ “Reunion” AND OOOOOO

HOW WOULD THE BOYS REACT TO READER GETTING CAPTURED AND SOMETHING HAPPENING WITH HER PARENTS???? 👀👀

So admittedly this was going to be a future story. For some extra context, the reader's father I haven't decided whether he exists yet or not, but the mother is... admittedly also undecided in terms of what she is. When I started writing this I intended it to be a drabble and now it’s… yep. Enjoy!

Reset

Massive trigger warning!!! Abuse, kidnapping, torture, poor eating mentions, cannibalism, angst, let me know if I missed anything.

First and foremost you know they tried, all of them. You saw it before everything went dark. Johnny was screaming for you, ready to tear everything apart just to keep you safe. He didn't care who the bitch was, you were his sister. Konig already was tearing everything apart, only he didn't notice your situation until it was to late. The cadejos had nabbed some shadows to rip up with Alejandro and Horangi grabbing at more, trying to restrain themselves from just ripping into them. As you were taking off, Kyle went so far as to try and chase after you, but had his wings shot at, making you scream and fight to try and help him. Ghost had been too far away to try and grab at the heli. Price would have burned the whole thing down but you were inside, and not fire resistant.

Seconds after they'd lost you, Hunter got Kyle into the infirmary to fix his wings but they were still garbage. The entire team is anxious and worried about you. They'd all learned as much as they could about your relationship with your mother but could only imagine what she wanted from you now.

Simon wasted no time. He dragged thrall after thrall into interrogation, demanding answers of where they could be taking you. Being brutal and pissed he put any humans they were able to take alive in the room to show he wasn't playing around. If a thrall wasn't willing to talk, the human better be ready to scream and beg.

Price and Laswell and working around the clock to get everything they can on your mother from medical records, to bank statements. The two friends are keeping each other calm, as best as they can when they are as fired up as they are. Laswell has to step out of the room more than once because of Price releasing smoke to keep himself from getting too heated.

To the surprise of many, Horangi contacts KorTac. He's getting information on... well anything. While he keeps to himself, he can't deny your presence hasn't been welcoming. The team was up in arms, and the last thing he wanted was to sit around and do nothing while he waited for this to be fixed. KorTac can look into any jobs or contracts they may have gotten from Graves or your mother as a one off. Maybe someone gave up information thinking it was just an innocent missing persons report. Maybe your mother had tried contacting KorTac before Graves. Whatever he can get to make this go faster.

Alejandro and Rudolfo did the same, contacting other bases to see if they may have run into Graves or thralls recently. If they mapped out previous locations they could find a pattern. They even went back to facility where they'd first encountered your mother, seeing if there could be any signs of where she might have gone. Aside from that they had taken the initiative of running everything on base, giving the rest of the team more time to focus on you.

Kyle is pissed because he couldn't do anything to help. His wings were too damaged to fly anytime soon. All he could do was join Alejandro and Rudolfo on recon. He hated wasn't about to just sit, wait and heal. He wanted to help now. Alejandro and Rudolfo aren't about to stop him either.

Konig became restless, and the percht was practically beating against him. It wanted nothing but violence, blood and revenge. Konig just wanted his little friend back. You'd helped him even when there seemed to be no hope.

As for Johnny... it's something everyone gives him space for. Simon is one of the few who approaches him. He's restless and the full moon approaching makes it worse. All the wold wants to do is to find you, and Jonny wants the same. Sleep is near impossible, and he's started going to your room in order to do so. Your scent is still there, smelling like earth, grass and pine. If he isn't trying to find you, it's like he's trying to remember you. After 24 hours of you being gone Simon found him.

"Did you tell your mom?" He asked. Johnny looked up from where he was sitting on your bed. Simon was in the doorway looking at him, mask off for once. The question is one Johnny never wanted to think about. Telling his mother he'd lost her new baby. Johnny just stares down at his hands. Simon comes in and sits next to him on the bed, picking up a small plushie. The last thing Johnny needed was his pessimism. Simon didn’t have high hopes for you but he wasn’t going to give up on helping you. Johnny still hasn’t said anything so Simon took out his phone and offered it to Johnny.

“You need her too.” He said. Johnny took out his own phone, and dialed his mother. Simon stood up to leave but Johnny asked him to stay. He didn’t want to be alone for this.

The call goes well at first. It’s short-lived. As soon as Johnny told his mother you were taken Simon could hear her asking questions. Johnny answered as much as he could but regretfully most of the answers were “I don’t know”. By the end of it, he was fighting tears, with Simon putting a hand on his shoulder. Johnny’s mother asked Johnny how he was doing, and if he was okay. He was fine. He was going to find you. He promised. He hangs up and his breathing is unsteady. Simon didn't say anything or move to comfort him knowing a lot was going on underneath the surface. Johnny was honest enough to tell him if he needed it. There was silence for a while until Johnny took a deep breath.

"What kind of a shite brother am I?" He wondered aloud.

"One that will find his sister even if he has to do it barehanded," Simon answered. Johnny looked at him. Simon looked back and just gave him a nod.

For a while, you thought every moment you had experienced, every smile, every joy, every triumph, every bad day, every victory... you thought it had all been some mental episode of escapism. A dream your mind had put you in to save you from the torment of your mother. You don't know how much time has past, but it's been long enough for her to try and starve you and feed you more raw flesh. The more feral part of you is starving and ravenous. You want to eat so bad but you know Graves probably put something in it to make your feral state more powerful. You're chained to the wall with a collar and cuffs on your ankles and wrists. Waking up had sent you into a panic attack where you passed out. When you woke up again, the food was there, staring at you with vacant eyes. Dead bodies were not something new to you, but in this setting it just awoke you trauma. This wasn't the first time you'd fought your hunger. You turned away facing the wall, trying to hold your breath so you wouldn't smell the carcass. You held your nose when you needed another breath. Next you took the chains and wrapped them around your limbs to make them shorter. You knaw on your shirt to resist.

Then your mother came in. Your spine went frozen, your whole body tensed, and your held sped through the horrible moments her voice awoke. The way she talks is like burning sugar.

"Hello my little bunny." She said, soothingly. It's not soothing, she is not soothing, the only thing she would soothe was her own heinous actions. Little bunny was her name for you. You didn't know your own name because she would just give you pet names. All you want right now is to do the same thing you had done to innocent people who got lost in the woods. She'd set you on them, letting you hunt to the feral monster's content. "Come on, I want to see you. Can you look at me? I want to see how much you've grown. They took you away from me, my sweet girl."

No. They saved you. There had been missing person reports pointing to the woods you'd grown up in. A hunter came, properly armed to deal with hybrids, with some blurry photos capturing your image. He'd saved you with his hunting party. They'd found you feasting on an elk, starting to come back to your normal state. When you tried to flee, a hunter shot you, wounding you. You curled up on the ground they gave you a sedative. You were too small, and they weren't about to kill a kid who was probably just running on instincts. They saved you from your mother, continuing to search the woods.

Your mother moved closer, voice staying motherly and warm. "Please sweetheart? I'm sorry it had to be like this. I just wanted you back."

No more. You wouldn't give her anything. You didn't care what punishment she would give you. Whether it was burns or cuts you wouldn't give in. Your whole body shivered and tensed up as you felt her gentle hands on your shoulder and back, kneeling behind you. Your mother rubbed your back and shoulders, trying to coax your body to relax. When she tried to tug on your shoulders, to pry open your balled up position, you yank away.

"How did you get tangled up like that?" She asked noticing your efforts to keep you from the food. You don't look at her but you can hear her shuffling. There was a horrible wet sound as she moved back to you. You covered your nose, breathing through your teeth, as she tried to give you the meat. "Come on sweetie you need to eat. You want to be big and strong for mommy don't you."

You cowered, blindly swatting and pushing her away. In any other context her reaction would be that of a mother trying to keep her child from hitting her. You know it's a facade, the setting was evidence of that. "Now now bunny don't hit your mother."

"YOU'RE NOT MY MOTHER!!" You shrieked at her. The wendigo, the guardian state could be heard within your voice. Your mother stopped.

"B-but... l-little bunny-"

"I'm not your little bunny you fucking bitch! You are not my fucking mother! You are nothing but a psychopath who made me eat the closest thing I had to a friend! I'm not your daughter!" You yelled, not looking up at her, head covered by your legs.

"I know baby, I know, I am so sorr-"

"No! No you're not! If you were sorry you would stay behind bars! You would have moved on when you got out! You would have walked away knowing how much damage you did." You argued. There was no excuse for the crimes she had committed. Your mother didn't say anything for a while. You heard her toss the meat to the floor.

"Fine," she said, sounding like she was biting back heartbreak. "We can try again tomorrow. Please eat something though. I don't want you to starve."

"That's exactly what you want." You said, your voice overflowing with poison.

From then on, the routine continued, with a new body put in every other day or so. Your mother continued to coax you to eat, giving you kind and gentle praises. She's changed truly, she just wanted her cute little bunny girl back, her precious baby. Then she tried gaslighting you, burning and cutting your skin, only to hurry away to retrieve a first aid kit, acting like you'd come to her with a scraped knee. Oh dear did you scratch yourself too hard? Don't worry she'll fix it. Do you want mama to kiss it better? No? Then she'll get Mr. Graves to come in and talk to you about the mean things you did to his thralls. Maybe he can get you to eat something too. Open wide, here comes to airplane. Don't spit it out!

It goes on... and on... and on...

Your stomach churned. Food you need food... there's some right there. You don't smell anything wrong with it... no... no not again...

When Price found you... damn. You were back to your feral state but this seemed to be worse. Blood drunk, but hopefully not on Graves tainted shit. It had taken them some time, too much time to track you down. Right now Johnny and König were making for a good distraction tearing into the thralls in fully shifted forms, Johnny having the full moon on his side. Kyle, now fully healed and flying again was keeping overwatch dive bombing anyone who might try to take up a sniper position. Rudolfo had the cadejos tracking your scent. Horangi was keeping Hunter safe, using the clouds for their cover. Simon was moving through the bunker looking for two other people, Graves and your mother, shadows keeping him from being noticed. Of course he also yanked a few thrall into them, as they tried to make it out to Soap and Konig.

"Captain, what's your status?" Alejandro asked through comms.

"I found the target." Price said. "Soap keep on the thrall. Lieutenant, what's your location?"

"South Hallway." Ghost replied, voice quiet.

"Have you located the other targets?" He asked, holstering his gun slowly approaching. Your blank white eyes looked up at him, and you launched yourself at him. Your chains snapped taut, making you fall back. Shit. You were still yanking and pulling on your chains to try and reach the fresh food that had stepped into your cell.

"Not yet. Wait, the cadejos may have found something." Simon replied. Before Price could get Simon's help, Alejandro came up beside him. He stepped back when you tried to lunge at him next.

"Fucking hell." He said under his breath.

"Horangi, get Hunter to our location, east side, second floor." Price said.

"Copy." Hunter said.

"She needs to be restrained." Price said. They needed to wait for Hunter, but until then you needed to be pinned down. Alejandro understood shifting to the jaguar form and stalking in. The meat was coming closer. You shrieked, getting on all fours, watching him closely. The meat kept his eyes locked with yours. It's growling, it won't let you eat without a fight. You screech back at the meat, encouraging some play before you feasr. Your body tightens in a crouch as you move back a little, readying yourself. You strike, but you can't. A huge weight is put on your back and you thrash around. Your arms are pinned behind you. No! You're hungry! You have fresh food right in front of you! Price wasn't about to let you enjoy Las Almas cuisine. Alejandro backed away the moment Price put his full weight on top of you. Hunter arrived a few minutes later, and Horangi stayed close. One sedative wasn't enough. Two wasn't enough. They gave it time, ut you weren't relaxing fast enough. One more. The world slowly goes dark. Hungry... you're still hungry.

You're released from the chains, but bound in them again. Simon acquired a blanket after trying to pursue your mother. He had a feeling he knew what Graves was actually doing and what was going on with your mother but he could wait. You're the priority. Your unconscious body was rolled up in the blanket, with the chains wrapped around to keep you restrained if you woke up. Johnny was demanding updates to your status, still outside with König, waiting on orders. Price ordered them to head to evac, and they had the target restrained. Johnny didn't like that answer but doesn't argue.

When he finally saw you, Gaz made sure to be in between you and Johnny. Johnny got out of the chopper and came over, back to his human state, clothes destroyed. Price wasn't about to deny his sergeant, even when he wasn't shifted. Johnny took you from Price and held you tight. The look on his face was focused as he got back in the heli, and the whole ride back he said nothing. Hunter got to work immediately giving orders for the medics on base to be ready. As soon as you woke up you would be hungry again. despite this Johnny just kept you close, as if you didn't show signs of being feral, or wouldn't try to dig into his flesh as soon as you woke up.

The healing process takes time. You're kept under for a very long time. Hunter had to get a feeding tube so you would return to normal. Your wounds are cleaned thoroughly, and you're put in a safe place. The team visited and stayed with you in shifts. The feeding tube was not a tested method for you yet, and Hunter was concerned about over feeding you, thinking it may cause you to vomit or get sick.

As expected Johnny had to be pried from your side more than once. Ghost did it to spar with him, knowing Johnny had plenty of aggression built up, and he could take the hits. The last thing he wanted was for a punching bag to receive that kind of treatment. Once you had been put under observation, Johnny called your mother. Your real mother. She'd relieved to hear you are okay, and asked Johnny if you would be able to stay with her for a bit to help you recover. Johnny would talk to Laswell about it later, you needed to wake up first.

When you finally wake up they’d already taken out the feeding tube, your state much more relaxed. You wake to see Johnny had fallen asleep in the chair next to you, his head rested on the bed. You sort of squirmed down further under the blanket to press your forehead to his. There are silent tears down your cheeks, as you feel a great sense of relief. Johnny woke up and pulled away to look at you. He wanted to pull you close to him, but he didn’t want to overstep. You sat up and he held your face in his hands, pressing your foreheads together again.

“You came to get me.” You said.

“Made a promise. Wouldn't go into the dark unless I 'ad to pull ya out.” Johnny said. You threw your arms around him and he gently returned the gesture. It was perfect. It was safe. You had your family back, and to make it better they had come for you.

The next while isn’t fun. Well a few times you enjoy yourself, but it’s mostly filled with recovering and exhaustion. Your mental state was damaged, your body was sore, and your hunger was difficult, as you were craving food but couldn't eat as much as you wanted without getting sick. Hunter does an amazing job of helping your body heal. While you do have a healing factor, the wounds weren't healing as much as they should. Your team's medic sits with you when you eat, keeping the portions smaller than you'd usually take, but they gave you snacks to sustain your stomach in between meals. Once you were out of the infirmary Price granted you a week off. Johnny was still in the process of getting you a month or so away from base.

For the most part, you became Johnny's shadow, if he wasn't yours. Part of it is because the wolf is now more protective over you, and well Johnny is too. He'd told you about getting time off and honestly it would be really nice to have it. Outside of that, you found yourself snuggling up with him. Johnny had done a good job at sleeping in his own bed since your return. Now though, you'd taken to curling up with him at night. He didn’t mind, finding your presence comforting. Seeing you asleep in his arms brought him peace.

Johnny still has tasks to do on base though so he can't be by your side 24/7. You go to the others on the team who don't mind having you nearby. You did a little where you could, like retrieving items or doing prep work. Sleeping and lazying around wasn't your thing. Hunter let you help them with prepping the medical supplies and take inventory as usual. The rest of the team either made something up or just let you observe.

König had taken to standing in when Johnny was too busy. He was relieved to have you back. At one point you had a panic attack, accidentally knocking over a bowl had created a loud noise. Before anyone could step in König had you in a tight hug, talking to you. He ran you through the process of naming things in the room you see, smell, hear, touch and taste. Panic attacks were a first hand experience for him, having his own social anxiety. While he didn't know what exactly happened when you were in captivity, he wasn't about to let you suffer through the small triggers by yourself.

If neither Konig nor Johnny was shaodwing you, Simon was quite literally shadowing you. In that he would peek in on you through your shadow just to be sure you were okay. He doesn’t hesitate to talk to about what happened. Abuse is something he will never forgive. Simon for the most part though would stay out of the way. You deserved some privacy, and a chance to heal on your own. Until another soldier was a little too clumsy and made a mess of the ammo bins. The crash is loud and you jump back, as the other soldiers raise their voices to hound him. Bloody idiots, keep yelling when there’s a startled kid! You back into the nearest corner and start to breathe heavy. Your ears ring, and Simon found you. He goes through the piles of ammo cartridges and suddenly the argument is muffled, and there’s only ringing. Until Simon’s voice broke through, and you looked up at him. You see you’re surrounded by darkness but Simon looked normal. His mask was on, but his focus was on you. Just take a minute. You needed it. This happened again, but only when you doing really bad.

Kyle hasn't stopped spending time with you, and if you're struggling to get up to the roof you guys like to sit on, he'll help you up. The wings are always around you, which can really help. It makes you feel like you're alone with Kyle, even if there are soldiers down below running drills or moving supplies around. You don't talk as much, but Kyle talks a bit more to fill the silence. Sometimes you guys don't talk at all. That's fine. Yeah, you could lean on him if you want. He wasn't going anywhere right now.

The cadejos paid you a visit in your room one day, and they had... a ball? Rudolfo poked his head in and asked if you wanted to play some fetch for the dog spirits. You didn't think they played fetch but you don't say no. You follow them outside and throw the ball for them. The white spirit comes back like a golden retriever each time, front paws tapping away, tail whipping about, tongue lulling with happy pants, all while waiting for you to throw the ball. The darker spirit is a little less trained. When it caught the ball it sped back to you causing you to flinch. Rudy got his hands on your shoulders pulling you back, reminding the black cadejo to be gentle. Your body tenses but when Rudolfo checks in you tell him you're okay. Just startled a little.

You went to Alejandro and Horangi directly, asking if they could show you some better self defense techniques. You could fight, but you wanted to be better prepared if someone grabbed you again. Alejandro is hesitant because the last thing he wants is for you to have a panic attack in the middle of it. Horangi however is all for it. Knowing that stuff had saved his own ass more than once when he was building up debts. Why shouldn't you be able to drop captors like a sack of potatoes? Small bonus, he could make Alejandro be the one that got dropped on his back a few times. Throughout the demonstrations, they do check in after check in. He was going to grab your wrists next okay? Alright, then he would whip you around, yep don't let him turn you around. Still good? Perfect.

Soon it was your last day off, and tomorrow you would be on leave with Johnny. It would be nice to see Scotland again. You wandered into the rec room where you saw Price on the couch. The tv was on likely watching the game. You sat down next to him, a blanket around you, and he gave you a smile.

“Are they winning?” You asked.

“Not who I’d like.” He admitted. You played on your phone for a bit and then started to nod off. Everything felt so much better. You were safe. No one could hurt you with your pack nearby. Price didn’t pay much mind, until he felt the couch move. When he looked over, he saw you trembling. Fuck. He got off the couch and knelt down in front of you, shaking you awake.

“Come on kid, it’s not real. It’s not real!”

“NO!” You cried out, waking up and found Price looking at you, shaking you awake. Tears ran down your face. Nightmares were becoming more frequent again. All because that witch decided to force herself into your life again.

“You broken?” He asked. You gave him a hesitant nod. “Okay.”

Without asking he picked you up giving a playful roar. It surprised you, but you couldn’t help but laugh. He sat back on the couch, reclining so you could rest against his chest. You never noticed how warm he was. His wing wrapped around you unconsciously as he went back to the game.

“I’m sorry-“

“Don’t say sorry. You can’t control it.” He said. You continued watching the game until he turned it over to a show he saw you watching earlier in the week. Slowly you fell asleep again. Price found himself subconsciously stoking your ears as you relaxed into him. Before Price didn’t know what to make of you. Right now, he was worried about you. At first you were a requirement, something he was obligated to take on. Then you proved yourself, showing value to the team in more ways than one. Now… you were part of his hoard. You were a treasure worth protecting. His team had been doing better, and much better now that you were back.

“John I hav-“ Laswell walked in and looked up to see a scowling Price, shushing her.

“Just fell back asleep.” He said voice very low. Laswell raised a brow with a small smile. You shifted a bit and Price hushed you, not wanting you to wake up. Even Kate can’t deny you’d exceeded her expectations. When she first met you were about a terrifying as… well as a rabbit with antlers. You’d grown so much.

“You ever expect this to be a scenario we find ourselves in?” Price asked her.

“No. The time off has been approved… but there’s an issue.” Laswell said. Price looked up. “Colonel Vargas has offered an alternative.”

“What does that mean?” Price asked.

“The program still has some authority, and with what’s been going on with the mother and the kidnapping they think sending her back with Johnny might put her at risk.” Laswell explained.

“…Alejandro has offered to take them in instead?” Price asked.

“I’m trying to convince the program to let Johnny go with her. They’re proving difficult.” Laswell said.

“But she’ll be safe?” Price asked. Laswell nodded. Price got up, carrying you with him. “Taking her to bed.”

Price took you to your room where he saw your things ready and packed. He set you down on the bed, and you shifted, rolling to your side. You would be safe. He knew that. He trusted the colonel, he was just worried about you. You’d only been back for a short while. Hopefully Johnny would be understanding.

@yourlovely-moon @kaoyamamegami @h0n3y-l3m0n05 @sans-chara @1mommyrose4ever29 @smitten-haematite-quartz @talia-the-gemini @yuki2129 @whitetiger846 @graystorm444 @chibiduck @reaperxxxxzz @danielle143 @sobbingnshtting @cringeycookies @cryingpages @dcnocap207 @reaper-chan666

[whitexwolfxx310]

|| You're A Weapon; And Weapons Don't Weep ||

Pairing: Bucky x female reader

Summary: After Bucky discovers that your once thought to be dead older brother is HYDRA's new super soldier, you're chosen to go on a mission with the team.

Warnings: **PLEASE READ** This fic contains death. If the idea of unaliving someone can possibly trigger you, please do NOT read this. Anxiety attack, cursing, angst, random sprinkles of fluff, use of y/n.

Word Count: 4.7

A/Ns: It has been way too long, but I finally got to write for my BBWWS again. I have a feeling there won't be too many chapters left for Bucky and his Sunshine. But I have been working on other ideas and another series is in the process. I hope you enjoy reading. I love you all! The messages, comments, reblogs, likes, etc. literally give me life and inspired me to come back and get into writing all over again. Enjoy your weekend, besties!!

Previous Part // Masterlist

Days turned into weeks. Weeks turned into months. Any shred of hope that life would be returning back to normalcy remotely anytime soon got washed away by the tidal wave that was the news of your brother being the new super soldier for Hydra.

Tony and Steve called for intel meetings that basically became a fulltime job. At first it felt like an interrogation. They questioned you, curious as to why you would apply for an internship at The Compound. While the circumstances did seem suspicious, they eventually were able to rule out any foul play on your part.

The gatherings soon turned into wanting to know every intricate detail that they wouldn't be able to look up or hack out of any system. From dawn to dusk, the two men asked about your childhood together- trying to connect the pieces as to who Luke is, or was. Bucky stayed silently by your side the entire time and offered a stabilizing hand when things got overwhelming to discuss. But it also didn't slip by you that he focused on each and every detail, noting the intel for this mission.

After being able to specify things so minute; such as your brothers favorite books, favorite teacher from grade school, or the fact that he likes the color green- but not just any green, Sacramento green, because it reminded him of the vines that grew around the windows of your grandparents cottage that you would spend the majority of your summer's at as kids, you also got chosen to go on this mission. There was some minor pushback from the team, but ultimately Bucky took responsibility for you. You knew that he would keep you safe, even if it meant putting the part of his very soul that he felt remained on the line for you.

To say that the training was brutal would be an understatement. While the others had an entire lifetime to perfect their craft and years working alongside one another in unity, you had only a matter of weeks. You were thrown into a constant rotation of being educated on the newest technologies developed by Tony, boxing and going over endless tactical strategies with Steve, knowledge of weaponry with a hint of ballet to stay light on your feet with Nat... pure exhaustion wouldn't begin to describe it.

The day came when intel showed the Swiss Alps would be first on the mission log. Everyone was treating it like just any other, but the dreaded encounter was weighing down heavily deep within your stomach. The thought of using yourself as bait to lure out your brother spiraled into the millions of anxious outcomes that kept you up at night. Finally giving you just the smallest glimpse into Bucky's world. The doorway was creaked open to his nightmares.

"Wooow. You look like a Bad. Ass." Sam annunciates amusingly, as his eyes land on you walking up the small rear cargo ramp of the jet.

Your cheeks instantly blush, having already been self-conscious about the skintight, black Kevlar suit Nat gave you to wear. As more footsteps approach, you sink more into your seat and try to avoid any more eye contact.

"Just so you know, I heard that." Bucky's voice rebounds off of the metal walls before he even makes his way completely into the jet. "Don't try and make passes at my girl when I'm not aro-"

You don't need to look up to know that those steel blue eyes have frozen you into place, but you dare a glance. He's dressed in all black; Black boots, black tactical pants, a black leather jacket with the left sleeve torn off- showing his gunmetal and gold Vibranium arm, and a black glove on his right hand. The sight of him is intimidating, ready for combat and anything to be thrown his way. But those eyes. They hold a tenderness meant only for you. His magnetizing stare mixed with the wonderment expression on his face confirms his friends words and more. Okay, so maybe the suit isn't so bad.

"You're gawking." Sam is now at Bucky's side, smirking with his arms tightly crossed over his chest.

Bucky's face slides back into its usual consternation state before giving him a side glare. "Shut up." Sam shakes his head, laughing to himself lightly before making his way to the front of the jet.

You move to sit upright as he approaches, and Bucky's face finally softens. It always does when it's just the two of you. He reaches above where you're sitting to an overhead rack, casually leaning. Hovering like one of those seductive book boyfriends you'd swoon over, but for him it just comes naturally. Swallowing hard, you angle your head up to look at him. You find a slightly playful grin tugging at his lips and you crack a faint smile.

"You doing okay, Sunshine?" His voice is soft but concerned. A gloved thumb caresses down your cheek. The doting gesture entrances you to gently nuzzle into his palm.

"I don't know." You answer honestly.

He reflects on this a moment, his eyes searching yours. But he looks slightly blurry. The background noise is starting to become overwhelming. Numerous voices all start to overlap, the jet engines growing louder as they're warming up, the loud bang with each shipment container with weapons being loaded on board- weapons intended for my brother. It all combines into one long dragged-out, high-pitched ringing sound and your throat closing in on itself. Bucky senses this, notices and quickly acts. Wide eyed, he drops to his knees.

"Hey... Hey, y/n. It's okay." He quickly unfastens the harness from your seat. "Deep breaths." You can't help but notice how calm he sounds. "Hey...look at me." Bucky gently cups each side of your face, the intense coolness on the one side being a welcomed shock. Your eyes meet his, and when they do, all you see is his devotion. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here with you."

"I know you are." You mutter, pressing your forehead to his as you try to manage your breathing to match his.

"We'll find him." He breathes. "I made it out, he can too. I won't let anything happen to you while we’re out there, y/n." The urgency that his tone is trying to convey is heart wrenching.

"I know, Bucky."

"Here-" He pulls away for a moment to take a bag off his back. Unzipping it, he pulls out a water bottle. "Drink some water."

You smile internally at the gesture. As he's unscrewing the cap, you notice a novel in the bag. It's one he borrowed from you when you first met. There's a familiar stinging behind your eyes. What did I do to deserve this man? One who is willing to walk back into his version of hell to pull out someone that I love?

Sipping on the water of course helped, but Bucky tucking you securely into his side for takeoff is what kept the overwhelming anxiety at bay.

“I love you, so much.” You say against his chest, in appreciation. He snorts slightly, pressing a delicate kiss into your hair.

“And I love you, Sunshine.” Bucky adjusts his hips slightly. “Get some rest, we have a long flight.” Intricate fingers brush through your hair, eventually lulling you to sleep in the safe space that is your boyfriend’s lap.

Distant muttering started reeling you back from a dreamless sleep. Instinctively, you reach for Bucky whom you thought you were still sleeping on- only to find he had replaced it with his bag. The disappointment was starting to settle in when you hear his voice:

“I know how this can come across, but she’s strong enough. She’ll be able to handle it, Tony. I’m here, I can-“

“All I’m hearing is I, I, I, me, me, me, Barnes. You, my friend, were an exception. I don’t know if we can go in there and get this guy out alive, and even if we can, who knows what the aftermath is going to look like! For either of them! We’re taking a regular, a nobody off the street and putting a lot of pressure on her to do this. She’s already starting to feel it, that much is obvious. I’ve said from the beginning that this is a huge mistake. I understand your feelings here, from both sides. You want to make sure HYDRA doesn’t continue to pop up like daises and be there for the love of your life. I GET it. But this is a mistake.”

It’s apparent that Stark has walked away with the clinking of his heavy metal footsteps.

“You picked a good one, Buck. I have faith in her too.” There’s a small reassuring pat to coincide with Steve’s voice. “Y/n’s one of us now.”

“Thanks, Steve. I just… I have to save him. For her.” You can hear the exasperation in Bucky’s voice.

While tears sting from multiple emotions behind closed eyes still pretending to sleep, you feel overcome with something you haven’t experienced in this situation yet; determination. A sudden tenacity to prove the doubters that you can do this, that you can help your brother just how Bucky had, and that you wouldn’t bail and have a breakdown… again. No. From this point on, you refuse to let anyone see you as weak.

The bag underneath your head gently shifts and is quickly replaced with warm body heat that you quickly snuggle into. That warmth spreads as Bucky wraps his right arm around your body, pulling you in a little closer. His heart rate starts to slow, and his breathing becomes more regular. You just soak in the last moments before the unknown.

“He’s really going to just jump out the back of the jet like that?!” You try to yell, over the loud wind rumbling and your hair whipping around.

With Sam’s back facing towards you, he takes one absentminded step off of the opened ramp and is just gone. Your stomach drops along with him at the sight.

Bucky rolls his eyes as he hands you an earpiece, “Yep,” A second later, Sam comes back into view, now soaring with his Falcon wings. He gives Bucky a little sarcastic two finger salute and flies out of view. “He’s flashy like that.”

Putting the impossibly small earpiece into your ear, you can’t help but shake your head and laugh. It must be an almost forgotten sound with the weight of everything going on because now Bucky is smiling too.

“Well, I hope you’re not expecting me to jump out of a plane,” you say only half joking. Because if that’s the case, he’s going to have to literally throw you out.

“What did you think the parachutes were for?” Bucky asks deadpan, with a raised eyebrow and pointing to the packs behind him.

All of the color starts to drain from your face, when suddenly you saw the slightest twitch in Bucky’s lip.

“Oh my god. You asshole!” Bucky grabs his stomach and starts to hunch over laughing as you hit him in the arm. His metal arm. “OW!” You start shaking your hand out to wave away the initial sting.

Glancing at him, Bucky is doubled over, nose scrunched, laughing so hard that barely any noise is coming out and tears are welling up in his eyes. It’s contagious, especially as the throb in your hand turns into a dull ache.

I’ve missed this. Things being simple with us and not so draining. Moments that resemble a drop of normalcy in a typical ‘would be’ relationship. But I still wouldn’t trade it. Because he’s perfect. And he’s mine.

Once your lungs don’t feel like they’re on fire any longer, you let you a deep sigh, resting your hands on your hips. “God, I needed that.”

“Did you really think I would toss you out of a Quinjet?”

“Seemed like it in the moment-”

“Alright, love birds,” Tony interrupts, the heavy metal footsteps of his Iron Man armor catching both of your attention, "don't be late to the party," he says knowingly, palms glowing before he too disappears out of the jet.

“Don’t worry, Sunshine,” Bucky says, now standing next to you, “I have my own flashy transport,” he side eyes you with a playful grin.

Arms wrapped tightly around Bucky’s stomach; you can’t help but snuggle your cheek into his leather covered shoulder.

Of course, Bucky’s idea of flashy would be a motorcycle.

Your eyes flutter open to see Steve on his own come into view through whips of your hair. The boys. Two best friends riding like they don’t have the weight of the world constantly on their shoulders.

Steve’s bike has a bulky, all chrome classic look while Bucky’s is a modern, all black crotch rocket. Both have been modified to drive relatively quietly, and it’s such a weird dichotomy to still be able to feel the rumbling of the bike between your legs without all the noise.

One of your hands releases the clasp they had on one another, pressing your palm against Bucky’s chest- smoothing itself along his abdomen. Bucky sits more upright in his seat to press back into you more, using only his left hand to steer as his right encloses around yours, giving you a reassuring squeeze. The gesture is so minor, and yet you can just feel how he puts his heart into everything when it comes to you.

"We're going to pull off to the side up on the left. We'll have to go the rest of the way on foot," Steve's voice is solemn in your earpiece.

Bucky gives him a nod in acknowledgement, leaning back down to better control the motorcycle. This time, his hand doesn't leave yours.

The trek through the Switzerland forest was less than a mile, but with each step your feet grew heavier and that sour stomach of yours returned with the dread of seeing your brother again. If he could even be considered your brother anymore. Who knows what actually remained. As much as you have begged and pleaded with the universe to make yet another exception for Lucas just as it had for Bucky, you were terrified of the man that you would soon encounter.

Just shy of coming out of the tree line to the supposed to be abandoned old military base, you hear a series of echoing pops- stopping all three of you dead in your tracks.

Gunshots.

Bucky and Steve exchange a quick, wide-eyed glance at one another, “Go, we’ll catch up.” Bucky says, and within the blink of an eye, Steve takes off running at super soldier speed.

You didn’t realize you were holding your breath until Bucky turned to face you, his shoulders squared, lips in a tight thin line. But looking between your eyes, he loosens a breath, gripping your shoulders, “Listen to me, Sunshine,” he makes every attempt to soften his voice, but a few more pops and yelling sound off in the distance making you wince. His hands grip you tighter, “I need you to focus. What I’m about to say goes against everything I normally believe, but in this circumstance it’s critical…” he sighs, looking down before back into your eyes- trying to convey the seriousness of what he’s saying, “you have to push the fear down. And I know how that sounds, but you can’t walk in there with that look on your face. Because honey, these people will not hesitate to kill you.”

You gasp lightly at the graveness of his words. It’s not like you didn’t know this walking into the mission, but it’s different once you’re actually here.

Bucky sighs again, his expression softening as his hands cup each side of your face especially gentle, “I know, baby. I know. I won’t leave your side,” he presses his forehead to yours, closing his eyes, “I just… I can’t lose you.” His voice cracks slightly, even at just the thought.

Even with your eyes teetering with the threat of tears, you nod in understanding. Placing each of your hands over his, you press your lips to Bucky’s- holding them there, accepting that the moment they pull apart it’s no longer about the two of you, but about the mission. Luke is your mission.

“I love you,” you murmur, before opening your eyes to see deep consternation in his.

Disassociation is a powerful coping mechanism for human beings. It can feel like an outer body experience or even a dream. More like a nightmare. But as you follow into the bunker where the screaming leads, closely behind Bucky with your gun drawn watching for any sudden movements and stepping over the trail of bloodied bodies in the hallway, you're thankful for the part of your brain trying to convince you that this isn't real.

"Still no sign of Castle," Sam's voice was pragmatic in your earpiece.

Bucky looked back over his shoulder at you while still walking, "Maybe he's not here after-" and that's when you see the slightest shift of a shadow in an inverted doorway.

It was so small that in any other instance you would just assume your eyes were just playing a trick on you. But not here. Your body reacted before your mind could even fully register- taking a sudden step to the side, you fired off two prompt shots. A heavy thud followed.

Practically giving himself whiplash, Bucky looks at where you shot and back to you. His eyes widen, mouth open slightly at the realization of what just happened. What you just did- for him. Your eyes haven't moved from that doorway, and your grip is tighter on the gun than it probably should be. Pain surges through your jaw with how tightly your teeth are clenched and yet, you wait to see if anyone else is there. Is there another shadow lurking just waiting for the opportunity to harm one of you?

"Y/n..." Bucky's voice is delicate as his eyes dart around, also looking for shadows, "we have to keep moving," he says in a coaxing manner.

I can’t. The words blare in your mind like a doomsday siren and yet you can’t speak. All you can do is focus on that that dark corner where the pool of crimson continues to grow.

Bucky steps in line of your gun with somber eyes meeting yours, causing you to simultaneously point it towards the ground and break your trance. You didn’t realize just how high and how tight your shoulders had been as you loosened your breath. A new version of you being transformed as you exhale.

“I-” You try catching your breath, completely slack jaw and shaking your head just trying to comprehend what you did. “I…I just-” and the tears are flowing. No crying, no uncontrollable sobbing, but a small steady line of tears as the overwhelming awareness of taking control and trading a life for someone that you love comes to light… just flows.

“You did what you had to,” he answers for you, nodding sympathetically. You don’t deserve kindness right now, do you? But that is why he is good. And that is why he deserves to live.

“We have to go, y/n.” Bucky says, looking over your shoulders and behind himself again. “It looks like no one else has been down here yet.” He grabs your hand, not waiting for a response before he’s treading down the hallway again.

Your feet shuffle instinctively at first to follow him, but the brightness of the flickering fluorescent lights quickly grounded you to where you actually are. There are lives at stake and you need to keep your head.

The distant noise of constant struggle seemed to almost completely stop. Every few minutes you would hear a familiar voice say 'clear' in your ear and relief would wash over you, just thankful for knowing that they were alive.

It got cold the further you went, meaning you probably had gradually descended underground. Finally, at the end of what seemed like a never-ending tunnel, was a large set of metal double doors with multiple large chains and padlocks.

You and Bucky exchanged a quick glance with one another before he fists the chain with his Vibranium hand, pulling effortlessly as they break into pieces. He pushes open the doors to reveal a large, primarily empty room aside from a bunch of dusty, bulky outdated computers. Most of the overhead lights don’t work, so it seems darker in here than it did in the corridor.

Bucky steps into the room and starts looking around, his boots crunching noisily on worn rubble and glass. You hold your breath, watching as his fingers skim along the keyboards, his eyes squinting at the monitors as he passes each one as though looking for something.

And then he stops at one in particular. He eyes it carefully before looking up at the ceiling to the lights again.

“What is it?” You can’t hide your curiosity.

“There’s still power to this base,” he says observantly, turning his attention back towards the computer. “Maybe…” he mumbles to himself, leaning over the monitor a bit, his fingers blindly searching before pressing the power button. Bucky stands back as the screen comes to life, but his eyes widen, alarmed as to what he sees.

“Bucky?” You ask apprehensively, moving to stand next to him and also look at the screen. It's mostly black, but there's a green contour of... a face?

"Hello Sergeant Barnes," the computer says with a German accent.

"Oh, what the fuck?" Bucky steps back, his hands fisting into his hair.

The voice chuckles, "Come now, is that any way to greet an old friend?"

“Is… the computer talking? To you?”

“Why, yes, Ms. Castle. I am,” your stomach turns over at the sound of the voice addressing you as well.

“What the fu-” you go to repeat Bucky’s words but get cut off.

“Does the facility seem… familiar, Barnes?” Zola asks, condescendingly. “Or, at the very least, the machinery?”

Bucky's eyes start to dart around the room, taking in the different equipment before muttering to himself in dismay, "these control the cyro chambers..."

The computer laughs menacingly, "Ah, so you do remember. Good! Good..."

Rolling his arm once while taking a large step forward, Bucky brings it down, crushing the computer completely. Exposed wires spark briefly from the powerful impact, otherwise leaving the room in silence.

“What- who was that?”

“Arnim Zola. A scientist for HYDRA. The one who, well…” Bucky passively gestures to himself, “experimented and is responsible for me.”

Suddenly, another one of the numerous screens comes to life- the digitized green face grinning, “tsk, tsk. Oh, Soldat…”

“I won’t answer to that anymore,” Bucky maintained through gritted teeth, raising his arm to disintegrate this talking monitor as well just as it says:

“Who said I was talking about you?”

Just then, you hear quick, trudged steps. The only warning you had before been picked up, as easily as a pillow and aggressively, carelessly thrown aside into a metal desk, knocking some of the computers that sat on top along with you.

You tried gasping for the air that was stolen from your lungs on impact with the floor, but it didn’t come. Instead, it burned, more than the pain creeping around the left side of your ribs as you sluggishly moved to sit on your knees. Looking up, you meet the threatening gaze of the one who attacked you.

He was exceptionally tall, especially from your view on the floor. Lean, but had an athletic build and strong. Super strong. He was dressed in all black tactical gear, the only color being a large red Soviet star in the center of his chest. A black mask covered all but his eyes, keeping him faceless. He was pale, as if he hadn't seen actual sunlight in years and had shoulder length dirty blonde hair.

But those eyes. They cemented you to the floor- glaring, daring you to move or even breathe. Just the look that he conveyed felt like you were in the presence of death itself. As you were able to take your first small breath, your lips parted, and eyes narrowed as they locked into his deadly gaze. There was such a darkness glazed over the emerald irises, but you'd recognize them anywhere.

"Luke..." you exhale, painfully. Both physically and emotionally.

His brow twitches slightly at you saying his name, like his mind is trying to recollect it from a long-forgotten dream. As his body turns to face you, he suddenly gets shoved back a few feet, "Back off, Castle." Bucky warns sternly, stepping between you and your brother.

Gripping the desk, you use it to hoist yourself up, whining slightly and grabbing at your left side realizing that you most likely have some broken ribs. The sound of your pain distracted Bucky for one second, and Luke took that opportunity to lunge forward and kick him high in the chest. With a breathless grunt, Bucky barrels backwards into you, knocking your back flush against the wall.

Luke was there in the blink of an eye, grabbing Bucky by the collar of his jacket. The two of them quickly became a tangle of throwing fists and kicks, breaking apart to find anything around to throw at one another. Overturning desks, throwing chairs, Bucky even chucked a still laughing Zola computer at Luke.

While you never thought the two most important men in your life would ever have the chance to meet, this is not the way you would have ever imagined it.

With your back still flat against the wall, you slide down to sit on the floor, starting to feel dizzy. Maybe it was the overwhelmingness of the situation, but instinctively you bring your hand to the back of your head, and it feels... wet. Looking at your fingers, they're now coated with fresh, warm crimson blood. It's getting harder to think straight with the tunneling vision, but you realize that you hit your head against the wall from the collision of bodies.

"Please..." you choke out a sob, "please, stop," you beg. But they can't hear you over their own heated screams and grunts as they continue to fight one another. Your narrowing vision focuses on Bucky, seeing that he is fighting more defensively- actively trying to avoid hurting Luke, pulling his punches where he can. Tears burn behind your eyes at the sight, knowing that if this were anyone else, it would already be over.

"Luke!" Bucky yells and quickly dodges to the side, avoiding the knife now sticking out of the wall that Luke threw at him. "Your sister came here to get you back! She's here for you. We're here for you!" Bucky maintained his distance, mirroring Luke's movement's trying to rely on his words rather than fists. They're pacing, waiting for the other to make a move.

The ringing in your ears was becoming too hard to ignore and as much as you tried to fight it, sweat started to bead up on your skin. You were losing consciousness, and fast.

"Bucky," you breathe out. His body tenses as he looks over at you, eyes wide. He jumps over one of the only remaining desks in the room and kneels down, hands hovering over body briefly, afraid to touch you.

"Okay... okay," he mutters to himself, scanning you over, his eyes linger on your hand with the now drying blood on them. Bucky gently cups your cheek, his thumb grazing over it as he forces a smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes. "You're gonna be okay, Sunshine. I-I'm going to get you outta here and get some help, okay?" His voice sounds shaky as his chest heaves, "Sam? I need a med evac for y/n,"

You nod once, or at least you think you do, as you continue to focus on Bucky. Everything around him starts to fade into a deeper black void. The last thing you see is Luke step into view over Bucky's shoulder to look down at you. At some point during their altercation, his mask had been ripped off. His lips were pressed into a thin line as his teeth clenched and remained expressionless while Bucky continued to stroke your hair and try to speak calm, reassuring words of how he would make sure you would be okay as you slipped under the surface of complete darkness.

@peaches1958 @aquabrie @elsie-bells @pono-pura-vida @redbloodedgurl @almosttoopizza @beware-my-thorns @prettylittlepluviophile @annoyinglythoughtfuldestiny @calwitch @ozwriterchick @roofwitty779 @lessersole @lil-darhk @agoddoesnotplead @saranghaey @erinallene @mrsvxder @elizabeth916 @cjand10 @bucky-barnes-lover @wintrsoldrluvr @skulliecadaver-blog

[silent-stories]

I'm with the band

(Eddie Munson x F!reader) reader has long hair, mention of drugs.

"There are too many people out there,” Eddie said nervously, aimlessly pacing in the backstage for the fourth time, nearly colliding with the other band members who were getting ready to go on stage.

He wasn’t wrong; the Hideout had never been this crowded, and you were the one to thank (or to blame). You had invited Robin to come see Corroded Coffin play that night, and she had called Vickie, who in turn had invited some of her friends. While chatting with Robin, Nancy and Jonathan overheard and joined in (despite Nancy not seeming thrilled about “listening to four guys scream all night”), and Jonathan had invited his quirky friend visiting from California too, who brought along more friends.

In short, friends had invited more friends, and they, in turn, had invited others, making the place more packed than it had ever been.

Eddie’s dark curls bounced on his shoulders with each step, and his self-cropped Anthrax t-shirt, cut with kitchen scissors a few days prior, revealed a sliver of his stomach.

Jeff rolled his eyes and walked away. He wasn’t ready to hear Eddie give the same speech for the fifth time in half an hour.

“Eddie, can you stop for a moment?” you got up from the old armchair where you’d been sitting since they let you into the backstage area that evening.

You grabbed a drumstick Gareth had left on the table and used it to secure your hair into something that was supposed to be a messy bun. It was a habit you’d picked up a few weeks ago, and you were pretty sure your drummer friend was starting to hate you for it.

"Eddie,” you repeated his name when you reached him, placing your hands on his arms to stop him. “It's gonna be okay.”

He let out a long sigh, wondering if you were aware that your touch alone could calm him in seconds, more effectively than hundreds of words ever could. When your hands returned to your sides, he already missed that contact.

He stared at you for a moment, his brown eyes filled with insecurity. “No,” he shook his head.

“Eds, you need to stay calm. They’ll like you, and-”

“Sweetheart, no one likes us. You’re the only person who claps every time we play here.”

“Because the other times, there wasn’t enough audience! This time will be different, trust me.”

“The last time I played in front of so many people, I was in middle school, and the whole school laughed at me. I’m not ready to experience that again.”

Eddie saw how your expression softened and worried at the same time, and he almost wished he hadn’t said it.

He ran a hand through his hair, disheveling it even more than his quick pacing had already done. “God, I really need a joint right now.”

You let out a little laugh at that comment, and one corner of Eddie’s lips involuntarily lifted. The sound of your laughter always made him happier.

“No, all you need is a friend who tells you that you’ll rock it and that everything will be fine. And I’m here now, telling you that.” You stood on tiptoe to fix a stray curl.

“Trust me, please?” When you looked at him like that he couldn't help but believe you, or at least try. You always believed in him.

"Okay."

You smiled. God, you were so pretty and he had been so anxious that night that he hadn't even remembered to tell you.

"Okay?"

"Okay." He repeated, more confident this time.

Somewhere behind you you heard Jeff shout. "Five minutes and we're on stage!"

“Fuck.” Eddie sighed.

"Eddie. Eds, look at me. You have to promise me two things before you go out there. I'm serious."

Eddie remained silent, nodding slightly.

"The first is that whatever people do, think or say, you have to remember that it won't define you. I know who you are. I know what you're worth. I don't give a shit about them. A shit. Zero. Nada."

Eddie chuckled. "Second thing?"

"Second thing is, when you're famous you'll let me come on tour with you."

Eddie laughed, for real this time. Those dimples that you loved so much have appeared on his face. "You said you were serious!"

"Oh and I am! One hundred percent!"

Eddie, still laughing, placed his hand over his heart, as if swearing a solemn oath. "I promise on my honor."

"Okay, I'm happy now."

"I wouldn't go anywhere without you anyway. You're pretty much an integral part of the band now. I planned on kidnapping you in case I ever left town but you make things a lot easier now."

"Well, I guess you won't need it."

"Two minutes!" Jeff shouted.

"I think I have to go now."

You nodded, a smile still on your lips.

"C'mere." He quickly said before wrapping an arm around your waist, pulling you against his chest in a hug.

You inhaled his scent for a few seconds, it was smoke and cheap beer, like all the other times. For you, there was nothing better.

After a moment, you slightly pulled away but his hand was still on your back, as if he wasn't ready to let you go, and you found yourself looking into his chocolate brown eyes trying to figure out what was happening.

His gaze wasn't on your eyes though. It seemed like your mouth had caught his attention.

When you realized his lips were so close to yours that you could feel the heat of his breath on your skin, a voice interrupted the moment.

You cleared your throat as Eddie took a step back.

"My drum stick!" Gareth repeated, a bit of frustration but also amazement because of what he had just seen in his voice, moving his gaze between the two of you.

"Fuck, you're right." You murmured, pulling it out of your hair and handing it to him. You had completely forgotten about it.

Gareth looked at his friend. "Are you coming with us or you two want to get a room?"

"Yes, no, I mean. I'm coming, fuck, I mean. I'm ready. All ready. Yes. Ready."

You giggled when you saw a light shade of red on his cheeks.

"I'll be cheering for you in the front row, you know that."

"I know. Thank you sweetheart."

He looked at you one last time before following Gareth onto the stage.

You stood there for a second. Wondering what the hell just happened.

Then you left the backstage.

[starheirxero]

I can't believe, Nexus came out of the closet before Sun/silly- He's even getting himself a new body! :D

I've seen a lot of mixed opinions on his name change, and it seems to be a 50/50, I'd say! Personally though?

I absolutely adore it!

It makes so much sense! From the moments he woke up, Nexus had to live the life of someone long passed on. Someone, who has made mistake after mistake, and lead them into worse and worse situations! It was pretty much a Steven Universe situation! The Sins of the father trope!

It just makes sense for Nexus to want to distance himself from his identity of Moon, and even completely reject it!

It's even more apparent, seeing his reaction to Old Moon's departure! He was so relieved and giddy, like a burden was lifted from his shoulders!

Also, Dark Sun just keeps getting greater and greater🙏 He truly planned all of this down to a T, even being aware of Solar's return!

It even makes sense for him to slow Eclipse down as well! Had he not done so, Nexus likely would've noticed it, and stopped it! But he still NEEDS Solar. For what is unclear, but he has a purpose in Dark Sun's little game!

I'm very certain now, that he has something to do with Nexus' state. As Puppet pointed out, and as you yourself mentioned, his decline into what he is now seems very fast and sudden! Theres gotta be something to it, right???

Something is at play here, and I can't wait to see it!

-Stardust

RIGHT!!?!!!? I LOVE THE NEXUS CHANGE IT'S GENUINELY SO COOL TO ME AHAJAHS

YESYESYES EXACTLY WHAT U SAID!!!! I was saying this to another friend just the other day but New Moon's messy feelings about where the line ends between himself and Old Moon has always Wildly fascinated me!! So seeing him take things into his own hands and go "here, this is where he ends and I begin" IS SO COOL TO MEEEHWJABAKD

AND DARK SUN YEAH YEAH!! I'm so terribly anxious and excited to see what all of his hard work will lead up to and just have many people and things he's been subtly guiding onto his desired path!!! Because yesyes Nexus has GOT to be as a result of him!!! Maybe if times were kinder, we would have had this identity change anyways, but the current circumstances are terribly nerve-wracking!!

I hope things get so much worse and everyone explodes amen HAJAHAJABC /silly

[liulith]

Cis man Vox is great, trans man Vox is great, trans woman Vox is great... But hear me out: bigender Vox.

As a human, Vee sees herself as an ambitious cis woman in a rich men's world and weaponizes femininity to her advantage while cursing the glass ceiling. She loves being a woman as much as she hates it and often wishes she was born male, fantasizes about how her life would be if she was a man, stares at men's clothes with longing... (🥚)

As a demon, he is reborn in a body that makes it easy to pass as a man: he can use a binder and change a few settings to make his voice deeper. He tells himself that "playing pretend" is simply the logical thing to do to protect himself and ascend to power (nevermind that there are several female Overlords. Yep, he's in denial)

Over the years, he slowly comes to terms with the fact that he enjoys being perceived as masculine in a way that has nothing to do with social status. Vox the businessman isn't just a persona, it's an actually identity that brings him joy and makes him feel good about himself.

He finally figured it out! He was a trans man all along! He decides to fully transition, and it feels great, for a while. Gender euphoria, baby.

And yet... As much as he loves being a man, some days, he misses being called a lady and wearing dresses. Isn't that just ironic? Suddenly, the longing is back. He feels just like he used to when he was human, only this time the genders are reversed.

He starts second-guessing himself, frustrated and anxious, and his internalized misogyny and old-timey perception of gender roles are NOT helping him process the situation at all. He starts overperforming masculinity to try and compensate for his doubts. Was he just faking masculinity so well that he fell for his own lie?? That can't be true. He loves being a man. He just... she, she just wishes she could sometimes be perceived as a woman, too. (and no, he can't settle for something in the middle or outside of the binary: it has to be one extreme or the other, like a binary signal of 0 or 1)

Thankfully for Vee, she's got an incredible adaptable biomechanical body. Once she finally figures out that she can be a woman one day and a man the next (because she can do whatever she wants, forever), and that her fem gender expression doesn't invalidate his masculinity in any way, she gets SO MANY upgrades <3

tl;dr: "cis" woman with strong gender envy and internalized misogyny -> "cis" demon "pretending" to be a man -> gender crisis -> transgender man?? -> wait a second -> gender crisis #2 -> bigender Vox <3

Also I think it's a fun parallel with Alastor, who is agender in my heart

It also works pretty well, thematically speaking: Vox as a symbol of change, constantly switching performances (+ binary signal jokes)

[not-wholly-unheroic]

Some headcanons surrounding Disney Hook’s mental health…or lack thereof…

He has night terrors almost every night. He puts off going to bed for as long as he can to avoid it even when he’s exhausted and often wakes up screaming several hours before sunrise. A good night of uninterrupted sleep might be four hours if he’s extremely lucky.

Because he knows he often wakes up screaming and emotionally fragile and because he knows that it will likely wake up others in the vicinity, he is extremely self-conscious about sleeping near others, especially those he doesn’t know well. While he can’t totally avoid it on the ship, when he has the option of sleeping farther away from everyone else (like when they are camping out on the island), he intentionally sets up a space as far away from all the others as possible.

He doesn’t like sleeping in total darkness and always keeps a lamp burning. He was afraid of the dark as a child and now, having experienced the suffocating blackness of the inside of the crocodile, he absolutely cannot stand total darkness.

The ticking phobia gets worse over time. At first, it’s only the one specific clock that the crocodile has that bothers him, but as the traumatic experiences pile up and then the octopus comes along, it gets increasingly more and more difficult for him to be around anything that even remotely resembles the sound—all clocks, metronomes, even just a rhythmic clapping or tapping noise. Within seconds, he can feel his chest tighten, his legs go limp, and he starts struggling to breathe…which reminds him of the lack of air inside the crocodile or underwater…which makes it even more difficult to breathe. Eventually, it gets to the point where he just freezes up entirely and can’t move until the sound goes away.

He wasn’t afraid of his own blood until after losing the hand. There was just…so MUCH of it… Now, even a small cut makes him a little woozy. With larger injuries, he has to sit down as soon as he notices it to keep from passing out.

Post-redemption arc, the thought of his past violence sometimes makes him physically ill.

He wears the same coat and other general ensemble all the time because it offers the comfort of familiarity. He used to wear other colors and switch things up but it actually makes him anxious now to do anything different because he’s had so many good clothes ruined by the crocodile and he doesn’t want to find a new favorite just to have it destroyed. So he just has a bunch of identical items in his wardrobe.

The coat itself is a comfort item. When it’s on, he feels more confident. When he takes it off, he’s often feeling more vulnerable. Smee has picked up on this and figured out it’s a good indicator of gauging his emotional state.

Smoking is his way of dealing with anxiety. It forces him to slow his breathing down and the nicotine helps calm him down. Cigars and tea are his go-to coping mechanisms when he’s coming out of a stressful experience.

He’s prone to some serious depressive episodes. During the worst of them, Smee has to make sure he doesn’t have any weapons around to harm himself…including the claw. He has been known to cut himself (despite his discomfort surrounding his own blood) when he doesn’t have any other weapons and is having an especially difficult time.

He has an extremely deep-seated fear of rejection and abandonment. It’s why it takes him so long to let anyone—even Smee—really get close to him…because once he lets himself care about someone, he’s terrified of losing them. The thought of being alone and forgotten is even more terrifying than the thought of the crocodile.

Touch is grounding for him when he’s having a panic attack. Even just a hand on his arm helps but often he instinctively wants to cling to whoever happens to be closest when he’s struggling. He will straight-up drag Smee into a tight hug. Fortunately, Mr. Smee doesn’t mind and just hangs on for as long as he needs it.

[firelordsfirelady]

XIX. Food Fight

Author: @firelordsfirelady

Imagine: When Y/N—a princess of one of the Water Tribes—is told she’s leaving her tribe, she never expects that she’s to be betrothed to the Fire Lord’s son, nor was she prepared to be exiled the very day she arrived at the Fire Nation. With her life in the hands of her new fiancée, how will life change for the princess? 

Pairing: Zuko x F!Reader

Trigger warnings: arranged marriage, feelings of fear, banishment, mentions of burns/abuse, frustration, violence, betrayal, language

Word Count: 1924

Destined to be Yin and Yang 

I own no rights to Avatar the Last Airbender or any of the characters/story.  

Author’s Notes

The characters as all aged up so Zuko’s banishment happens when he’s 16 

Keep in mind I am bringing a unique world with inspiration from ATLA in their characters, some of the events that happen, bending, etc. Not many things may align or occur with what happened in the show. It’s intended that way, so I hope you enjoy it regardless.

See Y/N’s look this chapter here. 

Destined to be Yin and Yang Soundtrack (YouTube)

Several hours later I sat fussing with my hair as I finished the final twist in my hair. I smiled to myself as I took a final look in the small mirror in my room. Smoothing down the front of the red dress I wore, I felt the butterflies fluttering nervously about within my abdomen.

Should I wear my regular clothes? The anxious thought crossed my mind as I briefly looked at the three other outfits I had tried on. Deciding that I liked the way red looked on me, I left my room and headed towards the dining room’s closed double doors. I took a moment to tuck any stray hairs behind my ears before I opened the door to find Zuko sitting at the table. Two plates rested on each side of the table across from each other, and Zuko was sitting at the one facing towards the door. He stood up quickly to greet me as I smiled at the red tint to his cheeks and walked into the room. He wore the same long black robe he relaxed in with some comfortable clothes underneath.

“Y/N,” Zuko’s voice sounded a bit nervous as he spoke. “You look pretty tonight.” His eyes widened as I blushed from his words. “Not that you don’t look pretty all the time.” My heart leapt for joy in my chest as my cheeks burned from the compliment, and I smiled at the Firebender before I sheepishly replied to him.

“You don’t look to bad yourself.” I sent a wink his direction as I found some courage to add, “I like seeing you relaxed.” Zuko’s cheeks tinted pink before he smiled and motioned to the plate across from where he was sitting. 

“Care to join me for some dinner?” I nodded as I went and grabbed the plate from the side of the table and carried it to sit next to the slightly shocked Firbender’s spot at the table.

“Don’t look at me like that,” I said with a slight laugh. “I feel so far away sitting on the other side.” Sitting down on the bench, Zuko came and sat in his original spot at the table. Shortly after we sat down, the doors opened as Shisam and Zaijim walked in with two plates and a pitcher of water. They served us before bowing and walking out the room, closing the door behind them. Uncovering the dish, I found a spiced dish greeting my nostrils as I smiled to find that it was my favorite Fire Nation dish--extra spicy fire noodles with spicy garlic pan-seared Salmon.

“Is this okay?” Zuko’s voice was soft as he asked his question before he added in a low whisper, “It’s one of my favorite dishes back home.”

“Really? It’s one of your favorite dishes?” I asked in slight shock as I looked at the sheepish Firebender. “This is one of my favorite Fire Nation dishes too.” The smile on my lips was wide as it was Zuko’s turn to look at me with slight surprise before the surprise faded to a smile.

“I never knew that.” Zuko casually said as he started to eat his noodles with his chopsticks.

“You were too busy chasing the Avatar before, remember?” I asked with a light laugh before using my own chopsticks to start eating. Zuko’s cheeks had just returned to their normal caramel color, but my teasing had his cheeks tinting pink again. “I’m still torn in the decision of if it’s my favorite dish though.” I shrugged. “I still love the sea prawn dumpling soup my mom makes back home.” The Fire Nation’s prince looked at me with a raised eyebrow.

“Sea prawn dumpling soup?” He asked with curiosity clear in his voice. “I can’t say that I have had it before.” 

“Maybe I’ll make some for you one day.” I smiled at Zuko as I reached for my glass of water. “It’s been ages since I have had some. It won’t be as good as Mother’s though.” I let out an airy laugh before I took a sip of water as my cheeks heated slightly under the look Zuko gave me. 

“I’ll hold you up to that.” He said as he grabbed his glass of water. Zuko and I held a light conversation as we continued to eat our food. We shared small details about some of our favorite things from our childhoods and the things we missed most about our homes. I loved listening to Zuko as he talked about feeding the turtle ducks as a child, and I talked about how I used to ice skate as a kid on the frozen lake back home.

“I miss it sometimes.” I said with a sigh a little while later. “The simplicity of home.” Zuko grew quiet as he slightly frowned.

“I do too.” He said quietly as he swirled the liquid in his cup, but I reached a gentle hand out and grabbed his hand that didn’t hold the cup. Zuko turned his attention away from the cup to look at me as I softly smiled at the Firebender.

“As much as I miss it,” I started off quietly as I slowly leaned forward towards Zuko. “I can’t say that I don’t love this life I live with you.” Zuko’s wide eyes searched mine for a shred of deceit in my words, but he found nothing but honesty. “It’s funny--I used to dream about traveling the world when I was a little girl.” I chuckled at my naive self. “I soon realized that wouldn’t be possible.” Smiling as I looked at Zuko, I gently touched the outer edge of his scar. “Life has a funny way of proving me wrong.” I gently placed a kiss on Zuko’s lips before I gave him a genuine smile.

“Thank you for inviting me to dinner tonight.” Zuko’s cheeks were red as I leaned back and removed my hand from his face. 

“Shall we do this again tomorrow?” Zuko nervously asked in a soft voice, and I tried my best to bite back the big smile on my lips at how cute the Firebender was when he was nervous.

“Absolutely.” Zuko gave me a smile as I smiled at him then I stood up and gathered the dishes. Zuko tried to grab the dishes from me.

“I can handle this.” One of my eyebrows raised itself at his words.

“I thought it was improper of someone of such status to do the dishes?” I said in a teasing tone, and Zuko’s cheeks turned slightly crismon as he slightly tugged at the dishes in my hands. “Plus, I’m late making my cookies.”

“I can handle the dishes, so you can start your cookies.” Zuko’s eyebrow raised itself as he made his offer, and I laughed at his attempt to negotiate with me.

“Deal.” I said as I let go of the plates so Zuko could carry them. “You just want to know the secret recipe.” The teasing tone to my words must’ve sent his cheeks burning because the shade of red on his cheeks darkened.

We walked together to the kitchen and started on our tasks as we joked and carried on. Once Zuko finished the dishes, he came over and started helping me make the cookies. I had set down a cup of measured flour on the counter.

“Pour this into the bowl slowly--” My instructions were cut short by the flour dust cloud that attacked Zuko’s face as he dumped the cup of flour into the mixing bowl. The fine white powder on the Firebender’s shocked face made me grab my abdomen and double over in laughter. He grabbed a nearby towel and wiped his face from the white powder as I measured another cup of flour. I moved to slowly add the flour in, but my hand shook too violently and the other half of the flour fell into the bowl and caused a puff of flour to erupt in my face. A brief silence fell upon the kitchen before mine and Zuko’s laughter filled the air.

“It looked so fun when you did it,” I teased between fits of laughter. “I just had to do it too.” Zuko was still laughing as he handed me the same towel he used to wipe his face. I smiled mischievously as he kept laughing at me before I took a handful of flour and threw it at the laughing Firebender. His laughter ceased as the reality of the situation dawned on him. I smiled as I snuck another handful of flour behind him back and slowly backed away from the flour as Zuko’s eyes shifted to look at me mischievously. I let out a small yelp as I ducked the handful of powder the Prince grabbed and threw at me before he met another surprise blast of white powder. I couldn’t hold back the laughter that erupted from me at the annoyed look on Zuko’s face. The laughter didn’t stop as he tackled me to the ground and pinned my wrists beside my head.

“Oh? So it’s funny to do that huh?” Zuko teased as he looked at me with a smirk. “How funny is this then?” He quickly threw a handful of flour in my face, which stopped my laughter for a moment as I stared at the Firebender with wide eyes. The intense stare off lasted only a few moments before I started laughing again, and Zuko joined in as he let go of my wrists. As our laughter died down, Zuko averted his gaze with a blush as I gently smiled at him. I reached out to light touch his scar, which caused Zuko to slowly look at me. My eyes met Zuko’s intense golden orbs as I looked at him with a big smile. 

“Who knew life with you could be so much fun?” I whispered then wiggled my eyebrows at Zuko before the Firebender’s cheeks turned red and he got off of me to help me up from the floor. We washed our hands and I let Zuko clean the floors while I finished making the batter for my cookies. Zuko helped me finish baking the cookies, and he even accompanied me with delivering the cookies to the crew after we finished washing the dishes.

As we walked back with a plate of cookies for Iroh, I was almost startled by Zuko’s hand slipping into mine, but I didn’t let him see the rush of blood that came to my cheeks as his fingers interlaced with mine. Zuko pulled me to a soft stop outside of my door, and I turned to look at him with a raised eyebrow.

“I can finish taking the cookies to my uncle.” Zuko said with tinted cheeks. “Thank you for coming to dinner with me.” Smiling widely at Zuko, I leaned forward to whisper to him.

“Thank you for inviting me to dinner.” I winked at Zuko before I leaned back. “Are you sure that you want to drop off Iroh’s cookies? I can do that.” Zuko nodded his head. 

“You need to rest.” He said without meeting my eyes. “The Avatar won’t hide for long, and I’ll need you there with me.” His last words were barely a whisper as I felt my heart doing flips in my chest. I lightly kissed Zuko on the lips in response, and then kissed his cheek. 

“Shall you and I train tomorrow too?” I asked with a raised eyebrow, and Zuko smiled at me.

“Absolutely.”

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[depraveddame]

Tempt, my omegaverse glory hole fic, is now posted!

It was inevitable, perhaps, that I’d dip my toes into omegaverse- I’m easily squicked by a lot of common omegaverse elements, so I’ve changed a lot of typical tropes in order to create more of what I have been referring to as my ‘hedonismverse’- a modern day omegaverse that's evolved as far as sex and pleasure with little to no emphasis on reproduction. No angst for once 😂 everyone is happy, healthy, and horny as fuck.

Some CWs: omegaverse, alpha Aziraphale, omega Crowley, D/s, glory hole, oral knotting, wet & messy, praise/degradation/humiliation, implied open relationships/non monogamy, scent kink, boot grinding - please read the rest of the tags on AO3 for more!

Excerpt:

His companion smells fucking divine— Crowley’s mouth waters like a slutty fountain as he breathes in deeply and takes in the fragrance of dark, sweet cocoa that’s spiked with cayenne pepper and something jammy on the end, like a lush, full bodied red wine of some sort, blackberries or currants crushed in a glass that’s been stained with the blood of its juice and doused in the tannic kiss of wine and chocolate. It’s all wrapped in the heady scent of want, it’s cloaked by the musky, smoky quality of alpha pheromones and the clear, overarching note of I’m going to ruin you, omega, and you’ll thank me for it.

And Crowley will— he most certainly, certainly will.

The shoes finally make their way to stand in front of the wall between them, and the open space beneath shows Crowley black leather and grey tartan tweed balmoral boots— they’re expensive and beautiful, undoubtedly bespoke, and his tongue itches with the desire to slide along the contour of their toes.

“I—” there’s a beat before the alpha continues, and the hesitation of an internal conflict registers in Crowley’s sensitive ears, “forgive me, I don’t wish to assume or offend, but I must ask— you’re here of your own volition, am I correct? You’re not being…coerced in any way, to be here, yes?”

Even his voice is delicious, Crowley thinks before he registers he’s being asked a question, and his brow furrows. He’d just been about to beg for this stranger to please get on with it and fuck his mouth, but the hint of nervousness that permeates the arousal in the room has him pausing— for the first time, he picks up on the smell of old, well worn leather, and maybe something earthy and woodsy— perhaps paper.

Books.

“First time at an upscale sex club?” Crowley asks loftily, a little incredulous. It would be very unlikely for someone inexperienced in the scene to be accepted for membership here, but it could happen, he supposes, with the right sway.

There’s a slight, huffy scoff that borders on irritated above him.

“First time at this particular establishment, yes,” the voice continues, and Crowley would categorize its tone as lightly irked as well as anxious, “and while things have improved exponentially within the last two decades or so for such things, I know you’re an omega, and while this business seems extremely reputable thus far, you’ll have to indulge a jaded old alpha who has seen far too many of your gender forced into similar situations they’d rather not be in.”

Crowley sits stunned for a few seconds, nonplussed, as he considers the alpha’s speech.

I hope you’ll enjoy this slutty and smutty fic!

@goodomensafterdark

[sophieinwonderland]

Whoo, this is gonna get long, but I wanted to ask your opinion on this.

A long time ago (when I was 10? 11? I was really young and had just escaped an abusive environment so the memories are fuzzy) I had imaginary friends. A lot of them. I was always "in control" of them. At least for a while?

Eventually my friends started to act differently. One of my imaginary friends stopped being as quiet and became like a father figure to me. He would coach me on things and give general advice in situations- which didn't make much sense to me, since sometimes his coaching included things I genuinely didn't know.

Another one I remember vividly- Cordelia. I really loved her. I originally made her as an imaginary friend because I wanted someone cool to talk to, but she became more like my mom and would comfort me when I was upset without me controlling her to do so.

When I was 13 or 14 or so, I got really anxious about the idea of having imaginary friends I couldn't control, and pushed them away and convinced myself they weren't real. It's been years since then. I always assumed I was somehow "parroting" them without myself realizing, but from what I've read on your blog, I'm starting to wonder if they were sentient. I still feel like they're around sometimes, but I also wonder if they're truly gone- I hope not, but at the same time, it's been literal years and I don't think people can just come back like that. I'm just very lost and confused- any idea on what I should do? My entire identity here is kind of shaking.

I've heard stories from so many tulpa systems who made "imaginary friends" when they were young that were sentient, and they managed to bring those friends back as full tulpas even after a decade or more.

I think your friends are still there. Especially if you still feel their presence with you. If you want them back in your life, try talking with them again and see what happens.

Good luck! 💖