#they deserve to reconcile even if it ends with them still not being together or even friends

[undreaming-fanfiction]

What I Wouldn't Do

This fanfiction is a Valentine's Day exchange gift for the lovely @henderdads. Cass, Eddie absolutely hates Valentine's Day, but for Steve? Well. He's willing to make an exception. Have an amazing Valentine's Day, you deserve it so much!!

Sometimes, it is difficult to reconcile several different truths in our lives. 

Eddie currently has this dilemma. 

Truth A: Steve Harrington, Eddie Munson’s boyfriend, allegedly loves sappy romantic things, Valentine's Day included.

Truth B: Eddie Munson, Steve Harrington's boyfriend, feels like if the world ever has to end, it should do so on February 14th, for this is the worst day of all days, the day of heart-shaped chocolate that tastes like crap, couples exchanging sweet words and bodily fluids, sometimes even semi-publicly, and don't even get him started about that horrible romantic music. 

After swearing on the Munson doctrine he won’t sell his soul to consumerism for anything and anyone but Steve, Eddie Munson decides to ignore Truth B. Steve Harrington deserves the best Valentine's day in the history of this idiotic holiday and Eddie has a hunch, a massive, Everest-sized hunch, that in all of his previous Valentine's days, Steve was always the one to do all the work. His beautiful and brave people-pleasing boyfriend. 

Then Eddie realizes another very uncomfortable truth. He has no idea how to celebrate Valentine’s Day. He spent the twenty one-ish years of his existence avoiding the holiday, so now he has to do some research. 

He starts small. When they walk together in the Hawkins center, careful not to touch or hold hands because Hawkins still remains a backward hellhole, he notes what Steve looks at. If his eyes linger on a certain flower for a few seconds, he makes a mental note. A mental note means in Eddie's case that he repeats the name of the flower ad nauseum, quickly excuses himself and scribbles it onto his forearm not to forget. He even buys a permanent marker for this. He can't forget anything, not when it's important for Steve.

When Steve asks about the scribbles, he claims it's for the next campaign. He even draws a sword and a shield next to the notes to avoid suspicion.

He asks many questions, most of them under the pretense of helping Gareth with his dates. "I swear, Steve, when he's lovestruck, he gets completely stupid. Not stupid stupid, Gareth's smart, but he can't hold rhythm and we need him to hold it, he's our drummer! So save this suffering aspiring rockstar and tell me, what do you think is the best type of chocolate? Milk chocolate? Okay, and is that like, universal? Did your previous dates like it? I see, a majority then! Sooo...are you a part of that majority?" 

Very smooth. 

See, Eddie doesn't give a flying demobat about chocolate types, he's more into hard candy. He doesn't like cut flowers, they die anyways because you cut them, how is that fair to that flower, huh? To die for being pretty? And of course, he hates the whole EXPECTATION of Valentine's Day. 

But the more he asks, the more he finds out, he doesn't see it as participating in the mindless machinery of lovestruck idiots. Instead, he sees the flush on Steve's cheeks when he talks about dark chocolate with dried raspberries and how his parents once brought it back from dad's trade conference, how it was love at first taste. He scratches out the idea for a bouquet of flowers when Steve mentions he’s always hated them because the flowers are so beautiful and vibrant, but they’re cut for an obligation in their prime. “It sounds stupid when I say it,” he chuckles, “but I want them to live until they’re ugly and withered, you know? They’re worth way more than their looks.”

Eddie could kiss him right there and then. And he does. 

He brings it all together, prepares all of Steve’s favorites with a silly twist because it’s Eddie, and Eddie lives for silly things. It really needs to be his favorites because Steve once admitted to him that most people with the exception of Robin and Dustin don’t really know what he likes, they just assume. And Steve is happy that people even thought about him, he thanks them and treasures those things that don’t mean anything to him. To Steve, being thought about is enough. 

Well, not to Eddie Munson. 

He asks Steve not to plan anything for their Valentine's Day. Or more precisely, he asks him to stay free and available and not worry his beautifully hairy head. He knows that if he didn't say this, Steve would have gone above and beyond for him, he would have likely taken Eddie to a concert with music so loud he’d get a migraine, but he’d suffer through it. So Eddie has to stop that from happening.

On the actual day, Eddie prepares everything. He sends Gareth ("You owe me so much for this. SO MUCH, MUNSON. I actually wanted to watch this tonight!") to rent Steve's favorite movie and goes himself to get access to the Hawkins High with…almost completely legal means, just a little bit of bribing here, some promises for a lengthy D&D campaign there, and of course lots and lots of nougat. 

He gathers everything in his van, waits for the kids and the janitor to get out and then starts setting the scene. 

There are two more incompatible truths that Eddie Munson grapples with: 

Truth A: Eddie Munson fucking HATES the Hawkins High. He wants it to burn down in flames, with only the theater room staying intact. 

Truth B: Steve Harrington sometimes wistfully mentions how he wishes he could have dated Eddie Munson in high school. How they’d share lunches, trade secret kisses in the hallways. He wishes himself and the world had been different. 

And so Eddie Munson grits his teeth, walks those cursed hallways he only managed to escape a few months back and counts on Robin Buckley to deliver his invitation with flair. “Extra points if you get him a trumpet solo, Buckley!” 

Robin apparently delivers because only half an hour after the expected invite, as he is smoking his fifth cigarette - don’t blame the guy, he’s nervous! He’s got a big date! - Steve arrives with a smile that’s equally excited and nervous. He keeps running his fingers through his hair and overall looks just biteable. 

Steve walks up to him and brushes his fingers against Eddie’s wrist, discreetly as they have established. It’s their own version of a kiss. “I thought you hated Valentine’s Day?” he asks and he looks so apologetic that Eddie promises to base all villains in his new campaign on all the people who ever made Steve feel he wanted too much. 

Eddie glances around, deems it safe and pulls Steve into an actual kiss. "It might be Valentine's day for you, Steve. For me, it's the "Steve Harrington Appreciation Day." He winks at Steve and relishes in the slight blush that has crept into his cheeks. “The name is already registered and all. No changes possible or accepted. Follow me, big boy.” 

Steve laughs when he sees a set cafeteria table with something that brings back so many memories. How did Eddie get two portions of school lunch?! The man has to be magical, he decides. They eat together, chat about their day, and then Eddie decides feeding each other is off the table because they’re giggling so much he almost stabbed Steve with the fork. 

They walk the hallways together, hand in hand, and Eddie sometimes turns around, sticks his tongue out at an imaginary girl and sneers “back off! He’s mine!”. 

Steve turns after Eddie and nods. “What he said,” he whispers and squeezes Eddie’s waist. 

Eddie then hands Steve a sports bag he stashed in the changing rooms and winks at him. “What are you waiting for, Harrington? We have some balls to toss! Baskets to score. That.” And before Steve has a chance to protest, he gets his own bag and starts changing into those awfully familiar PE shorts in all their green and white glory. 

Steve just watches him, mouth hanging open. “Now I get why I never saw you in these,” he mumbles as he also starts changing. “I would have realized I’m bi like, at that moment.” 

But Eddie just laughs and pulls his hair into a loose bun. “Oh, Steve. You have no idea what those shorts on you did to the little closeted me. The thoughts they gave me.”

“Lucky for you, baby,” says Steve and pulls Eddie to his feet, “this time you’re allowed - and strongly encouraged - to both watch AND touch.” Then he cocks his head to the side and adds: “Well. If you score at least one point.” 

Eddie tries. Fails. Tries again, even with Steve helping him. Eventually, they settle for a quick game of tic-tac-toe which Eddie wins and happily squeezes Steve’s butt. 

Their final destination is the only class they ever shared, history. All desks are empty, except for one - the middle one in the second row, where Steve used to sit. There’s dark chocolate with dried raspberries, Steve’s favorite, and a pot of flowers. Yellow, another favorite. 

“The lady in the flower shop said they should live, like, really long,” shrugs Eddie and moves the chair for Steve so he can sit down. “I forgot their name the second I got them, but Buckley knows and she was asked to deliver a booklet with how to care for them.” 

Steve drags him down to his level and kisses Eddie, deep and long. He’s either crying or laughing into the kiss, maybe both. “I don’t know what to say,” he whispers into Eddie’s cheek. “All of this…is right. It’s me. You remembered.” 

“Eh…kinda. Tried to.” Eddie gives up and lets himself be seated on Steve’s lap. “Actually, I had a small…cheat sheet. Let me show you.”

Steve watches as Eddie takes off his bracelet and watch and sets both on the desk. He gasps as he sees a coiling pattern around Eddie’s wrist, something that looks like a dotted or scratched tattoo all around, but that’s not it. Because then Eddie moves his wrist closer and he can read all the words on Eddie’s skin. 

DARK CHOCOLATE WITH RASPBERRIES

NO CUT FLOWERS! YELLOW IS GOOD

COFFEE WITH ONE DROP OF MILK

NO ICE IN DRINKS - TRIGGERS MIGRAINES

BELTS AND SHOELACES - GOOD GIFTS TO WEAR

FREDDIE MERCURY

GOOD OLD FASHIONED LOVER BOY

NO KETCHUP! 

STRAWBERRY ICE CREAM

These and so much more. All of Steve’s favorites, all what made him feel like himself, forever preserved in Eddie’s skin. 

He buries his head in Eddie’s shoulder and holds him so tight Eddie has trouble breathing, but then he decides that oxygen is overrated. “You’re so crazy,” sobs Steve into his shoulder. 

Eddie laughs again into the quiet of their former school. “I know.”

“And I love you so much.” 

He kisses Steve’s forehead. “I know. And I love you too. That’s why I had to do this, you know. Because even when I’m old and ugly, just like these flowers will be one day, when I’m senile and can hardly remember my own name, I will look at my hand and I’ll know all that is important.” 

Steve holds him even tighter if that’s possible, but maybe oxygen is needed just a little. Eddie gently kisses Steve’s head again and whispers: “We’re not done yet, love. Can you let me go so I can play us a movie? Something nice.” 

The arms crushing him loosen their hold and Steve briefly turns away to wipe at his eyes. “Sure. Sorry, I just…this is new for me. But good. So good.” 

“You deserve the good. All of it.” Eddie means it. And if seeing Steve appreciated as he should have been all of his life is redeemed by something as mundane as ignoring some truths about himself? Eddie is ready and willing. 

As he puts Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom into the VHS player, he realizes something terrifying - he’s actually LOOKING FORWARD TO THE NEXT VALENTINE’S DAY. 

Oh well. Time to adjust the Munson doctrine. After all, it might become a Munson-Harrington doctrine one day, so it deserves some revision.

[hamliet]

Love is Life, and Also Unpredictable

The Decameron is a brilliant, beautiful show that deserves way more praise than the lukewarm reviews. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a love story so beautiful and characters who subverted expectations in the most satisfying ways.

Every time you think a character is an unforgivable lout, you'll be surprised at how human they'll be. The character you think is a buffoon and whom you wish would die because they're THAT level of annoying ends up making you bawl with their words a single episode later, and it still feels in character.

I dunno, the show has pretty mixed reviews, but if you like dark humor and a study on humanity, this show is for you. Also, if you like love stories of any sort, because this show contains several of the single most unique love stories I could have ever imagined. Yes, including queer and... ace love.

*yes i have read boccaccio's work on which it's based

Spiritual, Agape Love: Neifile and Panfilo

I genuinely think the sexless marriage and partnership of a gay man and a devout, neurotic straight woman is one of the most beautiful love stories I've seen in media, ever. They genuinely want each other to be happy, and they aren't content just being each other's "beard" or financial security. They want to know each other more. They want honesty. They want to be together and to have intimacy, just not romantic or sexual.

The scene where they reconcile in front of Ruggiero is stunningly wholesome and--dare I say it--pure.

The scene where Neifile falls in the well and waits for God to save her is clearly a riff on the classic parable of the guy who is drowning and turns down two boats and a helicopter rescue saying "no thanks, God will save me," only to die and get to heaven and cry, "God, why didn't you save me?" Then God replies, "you dumbass, I sent you two boats and a helicopter!"

Neifile is rescued because her husband Panfilo pays someone to rescue her and to tell her God sent a vision telling them where to find Neifile. When she finds out Panfilo orchestrated it, she's furious about him deceiving her. But the reality, we later realize, is that he didn't exactly. Neifile wanted proof God still cared about her. He sent her a husband who loved her so much he would do anything to save her.

Neifile's faith isn't perfectly written, but it's not mocked. In the end, Neifile and Panfilo live like Christ--which is to say, they save their friends even though they die. Neifile dies afraid, but life comes with no guarantees. It's unpredictable, just like love. And after her death, Panfilo seems to lose the will to live--but when he decides to sacrifice his life to die alongside Neifile, it's not so much out of a desire to die as it is out of a desire to have his friends survive. And it's not a coincidence that the foe they face off with is a self-proclaimed prophet who's really a cruel, hypocritical cult leader. Neifile's dead, plague-ridden body is more holy than the cult leader's sword.

Romantic/Eros Love: Misia and Filomena, Tindaro and Stratilia, (and everyone)

Everyone has romantic love and/or a sexual relationship in the story. Everyone has a "pairing," but it is seldom their most important bond.

Dioneo and Licisca

Filomena and Misia

Pampinea and Sirisco

Tindaro and Stratilia

Neifile and Panfilo/Ruggiero

Panfilo and Neifile/Andreoli

The two that are the most important here are Misia and Filomena, and Tindaro and Stratilia. Yet they are both quite unique portrayals as well, because while Misia and Filomena's love is requited, Tindaro's loev for Stratilia is completely unrequited. Yet, its power still shines through.

Tindaro's love for Stratilia is utterly unrequited and stays that way. However, his love for her is nonetheless real and he proves it over and over, and it isn't dependent on her returning it. His determination to love her, no matter what she does or doesn't give him, is honestly a beautiful exploration of unrequited love. Usually in fiction unrequited love is either someone wasting their time or a tragedy.

Rarely does unrequited love have power to redeem and save, but here it does. It motivates Tindaro to change himself for the better and to become the best version of himself, and it saves Stratilia's life and the life of her son.

Yet, the story avoids any kind of iffy subtext about sex corrupting love. Misia and Filomena get a happily ever after (the only pairing in the series that does), but Tindaro's love for Stratilia, which literally starts as hate sex and stays that way for her, redeems Tindaro. So the show avoids saying that sex is all that love is, and avoids the implication that sex ruins love as well.

Familial Love: Licisca and Filomena, Stratilia and Jacopo

The series addresses sibling love in a variety of ways. Filomena and Licisca are clearly sisters long before we get the official reveal that Licisca is actually Filomena's half-sister in blood. And even when we see them fighting and pushing each other off a bridge (literally), they love each other. They can't bear to see each other die, even as they peck at each other and insult each other constantly.

Filomena: Licisca, you saved me again! Licisca: Yeah, you dumb bitch. Love's got long claws.

Truly, a sister exchange right there.

What gets in the way of their familial relationship is class. The series juxtaposes class issues against familial ones quite a bit. Leonardo, for example, we never meet, but the way he treats Stratilia and Jacopo (his son) is pretty terrible.

And yet, Jacopo has a good life. Stratilia loves him, even though he is the reason she can never leave the villa, marry, or have any sort of life of her own. She knows Leonardo never plans to have Jacopo as an heir or treat him as a son in any way, but she loves him and sticks around for him, and doesn't resent him for it. And he in turn adores his mother and wants to protect her. Love is a burden, as Panfilo says directly, but so is life. Love anchors.

What gets in the way of love for this mother and son, temporarily, is again class. Not for herself, but for her son, Stratilia eventually decides to take the villa since Leonardo is dead and Jacopo is the rightful heir. But clinging to class and material possessions in this series never ends well.

When Stratilia realizes her desire to seize the villa in the name of justice for her son will likely get them all killed, she cries and blames herself for their coming deaths.

As Tindaro says:

Stratilia: I failed my son Tindaro: No. You have given him everything. And love most of all. He is blessed. You understand that Jacopo? You are blessed.

In other words, love doesn't have to be perfect. It can involve major screwups and pain, but that doesn't mean the life they had or the love was any less powerful.

Also of note: the whole reason the peasants turn to mercenaries and cults is because the rich lock themselves away from the poor, when in reality they are all humans. You can't counter acts of God (or, y'know, rats) but where humans do have power, in all the terrible hands life slaps them with, is the ability to love each other and help each other. While this sounds cheesy, the juxtaposition of this idea with a black comedy plague setting actually makes it shine.

The Loveless: Pampinea

At the start of the story, there are two buffoons: Tindaro and Pampinea.

Tindaro is misogynistic and pathetic, and Pampinea is equally insufferable but more sympathetic because her insufferable tendencies are clearly driven by her status as an unmarried woman in a patriarchal, misogynistic society.

Yet Pampinea has all of these kinds of love, and can't accept any of them. Sirisco loves her and thinks she is beautiful. She not only pushes him away, but is cruel in doing so. She has the respect of Neifile and Licisca. She has unrequited loyalty and love from Misia, and uses it to manipulate Misia into killing Ruggiero for her (and the irony is that Misia, who is traumatized from killing Ruggiero, then kills Pampinea).

Pampinea is a well-written villain, imo. You love to hate her, but you also see her humanity. The way she treats Misia, though, is increasingly horrifying, and their relationship foils Tindaro and Dioneo's, Filomena and Licisca's, and Leonardo's and Stratilia's/Sirisco's.

In fact, Filomena even directly acknowledges that she's no better than Pampinea for how she's treated Licisca. Tindaro doesn't get the chance to have that realization about Dioneo while Dioneo is alive, but he does give him a decent burial when he definitely didn't have to. And, there's an aspect of tragedy there too--Dioneo did care about Tindaro, but Tindaro's inability to show any kind of care for Dioneo while he lived means that he doesn't realize that Dioneo did in fact find love in the end, though he acknowledges that this was what Dioneo did primarily want in life.

In contrast, Pampinea has chance after chance after chance to choose differently, to choose a single bond, and she doesn't. She also recognizes that her servant wants love more than anything, just like Tindaro and Dioneo, but instead of using that to honor them, she uses it to degrade and manipulate Misia.

Bad Victims and Toxic Love: Misia and Pampinea

Misia is a bad victim. It takes forever for her to realize she's being abused and even longer to accept it. She does in fact murder someone for her mistress, and she keeps going back to Pampinea even when it means essentially betraying Filomena, whom she romantically loves. When she asks for help, she pushes the people she's asked away.

Eventually, the only way she sees to free herself is to kill Pampinea, because love for Pampinea is a way to cage someone rather than a way to set them free. Pampinea's already introduced the idea of killing for love, so it's not really a surprise when this comes back to bite Pampinea and she is killed.

Yet the story doesn't demonize Misia for this. It shows how damn difficult it is to free oneself from an abuser, and how genuine the love for an abuser can be. In fact, the victim can often not even realize they're being abused and taken advantage of.

Furthermore, Misia's abuse doesn't make her a better person. Most people tend to assume that victims cry and wait for rescue, but that's not realistic. Victims lash out and can sometimes have a massive cognitive dissonance, as demonstrated in the show when Misia begs Sirisco for help and then blames him for Ruggiero's death when he calls her out on Pampinea's abuse of her.

Even Misia killing Pampinea isn't portrayed as a moral positive. It's tragic, but it also doesn't have to destroy Misia's future. Filomena loves her and forgives her, and that love can tether Misia to life despite her having two murders under her belt.

Sirisco also goes down a bad path, similar to Misia. He brings misery and problems to the villa in his outage over Pampinea's treatment of him. Yet he does repent after he sees that his actions have directly led to the deaths of the peasants who treat him well, and he survives.

[ckret2]

Even if you never explore or talk about it in goldilocks, what angle are you approaching past fiddauthor in the fic. Love triangle that only exist in bill head or fiddleford having a strong one sided love

I haven't fully decided yet.

Some of the fandom has a perception like fiddauthor and billford are opposed sides of a war, like if you like one of them it means you hate the other and want to see it "defeated." I don't like that attitude and I don't like that part of the fandom.

A fic in which billford happens is just a billford fic. But a fic in which billford happens and also Fidds & Ford's relationship gets explored at some point (and they don't end up together) runs the risk of being, mmm... unwillingly drafted into the army? As if it's taken a "side"?

Or like, a risk of the audience's expectations priming them to misinterpret the fic like "it's Bill vs Fidds, who will win Ford!!" And I'm not interested in that, there's no competition, Bill's relationship with Ford and Fiddleford's relationship with Ford are two completely separate things that have nothing to do with each other, one of them being removed wouldn't impact Ford's relationship with the other.

So along with the most important matters here—characterization, plot, all that good stuff—a subordinate concern I'm juggling is, how do I handle Fidd & Ford's dynamic in such a way that conveys this isn't a fic that's against fiddauthor, it's just a fic where fiddauthor isn't taking place.

As of TBOB I'm convinced that there's a high chance Fiddleford is/was in love with Ford, and Ford's romantically oblivious ass just completely didn't notice it. (And it's very funny.) But, if ever we reach a point in the fic where simultaneously Bill's in love with Ford and Fiddleford's in love with Ford and Ford develops feelings for Bill, it's gonna look like there was a competition and Fidds lost it. (This isn't helped by the fact that Bill would 100% view it like a competition and be the smuggest little shit about "winning," because he's an insecure shit who only feels like he's on top if everyone else has been knocked to the bottom.)

Along with that not being the narrative I want to tell... I also feel like Fidds doesn't deserve that, you know? Just picture it:

You're in love with a dude, you go through hell following this dude around, he inexplicably gets super hostile to you and kicks you out of his life, your life gets ruined over this mess, you later discover he turned hostile because his demonic imaginary friend was shit talking you to him and also said demonic imaginary friend was horrifically abusing the dude you love, thirty years later you're still in love with this dude, you've reconciled with him, you're friends again, he's super remorseful for taking you for granted and is demonstrating more concern for your feelings and needs than he ever has before, and—bam you find out that the dude you love has started dating the abusive demonic imaginary friend.

Can you imagine. Can you fucking imagine. God. If I were him I'd rebuild the memory gun just to make the dude the imaginary friend and me all forget we ever even met each other, fuck this shit, wow.

On the OTHER hand if I went with "hahaha we're just friendly friends who are friends and only friends neither of us ever had any feelings for each other that weren't friend feelings nope" to avoid the appearance of a competition, there's a chance it could still come across like,, "lol fiddauthor loses" just on a meta level rather than an in-fic level. Plus post TBOB I'm not sure if I'd even be able to buy that myself lmao. (Seriously, who the heck makes multiple handmade Christmas gifts for his "colleague" who doesn't even celebrate Christmas and forgets to get anything for his wife, god that kills me.)

It's still a while until I get to the chapters where we dig deep enough into the Fords' relationship that I'll have to make a decision. No matter what, I'm not gonna compromise the ✨integrity of my artistic vision✨ over concerns about potential hypothetical readers' reading comprehension; but like there's more than one way an artistic vision can be expressed, and I'd like to express it in a way that doesn't actively exacerbate the risk of people inserting a narrative I didn't write into my fic.

I want what I write to portray Fiddleford as an old, close, dear friend of Ford's—not as the loser in a love triangle.

[ruegarding]

in relation to the last post, the entire plotline is poorly executed.

annabeth's reaction to percy in tartarus is normal, like, not good, but normal. percy's not only challenging the laws of the world, he's indulging cruelty. being afraid is a normal reaction to have. despite that, it's still a conflict that needs to be resolved...and it's not.

immediately afterwards it's like ok back to normal! the jagged edges of percy's soul smooth over and annabeth is back to business (which immediately begets the question: why did rick write that then? which is never answered. the point? missing*). like, the actual issue isn't even addressed. before turning the poison onto akhlys, percy is being tortured w it (and nothing annabeth tries stops it). percy isn't doing this bc it's fun and exciting. he's doing this bc he was feeling so angry, so hurt, so scared, so traumatized that he resorted to hurting someone to make himself feel better. this is literally never addressed.

even in boo, annabeth's arc isn't abt learning to not be afraid or to trust percy again, it's to allow herself to be afraid. w piper. away from percy. and she never confronts percy directly, she never reconciles her fear w percy, they never address how this changes their relationship. also piper is there bc annabeth is so freaked out by percy that now piper is freaked out by percy. which is. a separate issue that is only an issue bc once again it never gets resolved.

and then w percy obviously he has his suicide attempt. like, he thought what he did in tartarus was so unforgivable that he not only believed that he deserved to die, but deserved to die slowly and painfully from something that he could easily prevent. like. that's the thing. percy's powers come easily to him. do u know how low he would have to be to not even subconsciously try to save himself? and the only response is a "i think i get it" from someone who's perspective does not properly convey the severity of the situation (ppl read this scene without even realizing it's a suicide attempt). once again, percy and annabeth do not confront this conflict together. percy tries to kill himself and the narrative is like...anyway.

if rick didn't know how to handle this, or even if he just didn't want to write it, he didn't have to write it. any of it.

but it's not that rick doesn't know how to handle this situation bc he writes the same thing in boo and handles it a million times better. nico and reyna have a very similar situation to percy and annabeth and the inclusion of both of these scenes and the difference in how they're handled ends up vilifying annabeth in the narrative.

reyna and nico have known each other for less time. they have built up less trust. and yet. when nico challenges the laws of the world and indulges cruelty in a way that reminds reyna of her extremely traumatizing backstory, she comforts nico. she doesn't treat him like he's dangerous. hedge tells him "we all get angry" and reyna vehemently agrees. nico is given explicit support even before he can start spiraling. and when nico is told to not use that power, it's bc of how it affected him, not how it made them feel, not that it's unnatural.

this shows that there was a correct answer. annabeth didn't have it, and suddenly her "normal" reaction looks bad in comparison. but instead of addressing this in any meaningful capacity, we're going to ignore it and send p*rcabeth to college. #relationshipgoals.

it's such a narrative failure. and rick could've just. not written it.

[gardenlasagna]

Its honestly eda's character development that really hits me now that the finale's over. After Eda got the curse, her entire life changed. She was already doing poorly fitting in at hexside, and then that just made things worse. When raine came into her life, she gradually began to love them, but she eventually pushed them away completely because of her curse. She didn't want to hurt them so she kept her secret from them, and they eventually broke up with her because of this. This left her alone, after she pushed both her father and mother away later in life and her sister joined the emperor's coven instead of her. She ended up just living by herself. This is where King and Luz came in.

With Luz just kinda being thrown into her life, she wasn't too thrilled about teaching her and did ask for something in return. But as time went on Eda became sort of a mother to Luz, and their bond grew stronger and stronger, until eventually Eda finally broke her curse while reuniting with her sister.

In Eda's requiem, she goes through a checklist including things she has do do for Luz and King, and says "You've changed, Owl Lady." She then smiles and picks up a photo of them and says, "It's worth it." This to me shows just how much she's grown from the beginning of the series, when she was tired, hesitant to teach luz, and still being controlled by her curse. She found a family in Luz and King and Lilith, and soon after reconnected with Raine, who reminded her, "you can't run from your fears forever, which is why you gotta jump on them." Just like she said to them when they were younger playing music together. She also reconciled with both her parents, and whens he finally talks to her father she still doesn't believe she deserves forgiveness for something the owl beast did, but he tells her to let the past stay in the past. When she finally defeats the owl beast, this is when she realizes that its not a part of her, its a curse and she can control it.

This all comes together at the end of the show, when we see that Eda is now the headmaster of The University of Wild Magic, and living happily with Raine. Even through everything, all of the battles she fought when everyone told her she was wrong, and all the friends and family she assumed wouldn't forgive her, she finally found peace.

[spider-jaysart]

Okay soooo fun mash up idea that I've created recently, which is DC crosses over with The last of us part 1! (But the game version though with some parts of the show included)

So it would be like this:

Joel: Bruce (for many obvious reasons, like for example being the old grumpy, cold man who grows into the Father figure role once warming up to the kid that changes a part of his life, causing him to become more of a softy)

Tommy: Dick (the one who eventually became tired of Bruce's bull and went his own ways in the future, but reconciled after reuniting with him in their next meeting)

Sarah: Kid!Jason (the innocent kid who didn't deserve to die)

Ellie: Damian (has her attitude, stubbornness, fearless determination, shameless cussing, loyalty, humorous side but in his own way, artistic side, and stabbing skills, so he fits perfectly well. It would also be interesting that him and Bruce have no idea they're related to eachother at all, so they don't bond because of known shared blood, only because of the many things they've been through together that brang them closer overtime to being like a Father and Son, and then they find out this secret about themselves much, much later after the end of their very long journey)

Riley: Maya (not a love interest like in the game and show, but just the first good friend and a trusted sister figure to Damian who knew things well)

Tess: Diana (A well trusted and respected partner for Bruce in work)

Maria: Starfire as Dick's wife

Sam: Jon (shares that innocent vibe with Sam and just like him with Ellie, he'd be quick to want to befriend Damian and see him as the cool older kid he'd like to impress)

Henry: Kon (is young just like him and is just trying his best to keep his baby bro safe the way he believes is best, since he is the only one who can now)

Marlene: Amal (Talia's only known friend in comics, so she fits as Marlene who used to be close friends with Ellie's Mom and made the promise to always watch over Ellie for her, so here she does that for Talia with Damian)

David: Joker (both a total weird, creep that can secretly hide who they truly are whenever they felt like it for their own benefits and then reveal their horrible sides and true intentions by surprise)

Bill: Lucious Fox (because he makes Bruce's gadgets and vehicles in canon and since Bill has a skill of doing just that for himself and gives Joel a new gadget and also a needed car, he is fitted enough for the role in this way)

And then for some small details and also additional things that help make the au stand out a little more differently:

Chris will be included with Jon and Kon here just to have all the Superbros together

Mar'i and Jake exist here but are really young twins (6 years old)

When things were still normal, Bruce was married to Talia here and they both were raising Kid!Jason together. They both got separated during the event of the outbreak and never found eachother again after that

Instead of 20 years of the apocalypse, it's 14 years here instead, because Talia was already pregnant with Damian when things began going wild

Damian will be immune just like Ellie (well obviously loll), but just for a little bit of play, it's cause it actually has to do with mixed Lazarus blood in his body that saved him, which comes from a small, strange part of his brain that keeps creating and pumping it out into his veins. This was naturally passed down from Ra's always over using the pits so much for years, causing the body inside to develop and grow in becoming much stronger and different in unique ways. And Lazarus pits are gone now, so Damian is like the only source that holds it in him as the possibe cure of the world

Unlike Ellie's Mom, Talia survived the birth of Damian and lived until he was 7 after saving him from an attack in a herd of infected that they were both trying to outrun. Damian stayed always feeling heavily guilty about it ever since and blames himself, even though how it happened wasn't actually his fault (still kind of debating on this one just a little bit for small reasons though)

Jon won't be 8 like Sam from the show, he will be around his canon age from the game instead. He will also be Damian's first love instead in this au and they will both have crushes on eachother

Instead of the games original cities and other places as settings, things are set in Gotham and other known DC cities Instead

Instead of a switchblade, Damian was left with a dagger from Talia, and all collected comics in his backpack from his adventure are mangas. He also carries around old special photos of Talia and him to remember and cherishes them very much, since that's all he has left of her besides her dagger

All characters wear their own versions of the tlou outfits to fit their style better instead of just using the existing ones

One of the things Damian would never want is to get killed by a bloater the most, because they actually just kill kids with only a slap instead of tearing up their jaws like the adults, so he would feel SO humiliated if it ever happened to him too (based on how this actually happens to Ellie in the game whenever she gets caught by them because she's underage loll, which makes the bloaters look like a bully to children)

Despite killing in this au having to be done against all kinds of enemies in order to survive, Bruce never feels comfortable with it, but he does what he has to. He also has sympathy for all the infected people, usually seeing them more as victims who didn't ask to become what they are now instead of just harmful, angry creatures, but knows he can't be pity them too much, cause at the end of the day it's either him or them during encounters. He also tries taking the pacifist route whenever he sees he has the chance to in a situation where confrontations aren't actually nesscarry, allowing him to flee without notice instead, and during stealth he will choke human enemies in a way that he knows will only make them pass out and not die

Annnd I think that's probably it for now!

I also have a lot of drawings from this au that I really wanna make and also put out soon heheh and I'm also working on Damian outfits that replaces all of Ellie's, which I'm almost done with!! And if anyone maybe has questions for the au btw, feel free to ask anything!

@pin-crusher2000 @camo-wolf @paladin-of-nerd-fandom65 @dunkinsthings

[fishsticksloser]

Hey! This is my first ask thing I've sent here. I have been meaning to do it but never knew how to phrase it 😅😅

Anyways, I was hoping you could do Rise!Donnie and a male!reader, where they used to date and they both still have feelings for one another? Specifically, reader went to propose when they were younger, but Don broke up with them before they had the chance to.

I'm ok with straight angst or angst to comfort, and feel free to ignore this if this is not something you want to do

Reconcile

Donnie x male!reader

Warnings: angst, no comfort, short, aged up (in 20-30s), swearing

A/N: I know you asked for male!reader but it ended up more gn!reader...

Previous | Next

You walk through the Hidden City, not entirely paying attention. You bump into someone and look up.

"Donnie?" You say, a bit in shock. He was much taller than when you last saw him. You started at him, wide eyed.

"Oh... Y/N." Donnie sounds a bit surprised. To be fair, it'd been years since he'd last seen you. The last time being when he dumped you. "You look well."

"Uh... Y-Yeah, you too." You stumble over your words. He did look good, that definitely wasn't a lie. He was more defined, the height was helping too, but he still wore purple.

You stand there awkwardly for a few moments. Donnie seemed to be checking you out, you were doing the same to him. Your heart ached, you never really got closure from the break up.

Did he fall off out love with you? Did he never love you in the first place?

"You think incredibly loud." Donnie breaks the silence, making you snap out of your thoughts and look up at him. His face is stoic, bored almost.

Was that what it was? You weren't smart enough? Too boring?

"I'm sorry." You tell him softly. Donnie brows furrowed as he looked down at you.

"For what?"

"For whatever I did that hurt you. I don't know what it was, but I'm so sorry."

"You didn't hurt me."

It was your turn to be confused, looking up at him, brows drawn down. "Then... Why did you break up with me?"

"I... You..." Donnie turned away, you could see the conflict in his eyes. "It's been years, y/n. It doesn't matter anymore."

"Donnie, please. I've been thinking about it for so long. I thought you hated me." You gently grab his wrist. It wasn't enough to hurt, it wasn't forceful, but enough to make him stay.

"How could I hate you?" He asked, looking at you again. His eyes looked sad, guilty. "You were everything to me... I just... It's not important. You need to move on."

"Donnie, I was going to ask you to marry me." You blurt it out without much thought. Donnie freezes, his body stiff and eyes wide. "Moving on isn't that simple. I need an answer."

"Y/N, it's not—" He began, trying to come up with another excuse.

"Donatello Hamato. Why?" You huff firmly, pulling him back to you. "Just tell me why and you'll never have to see me again."

"I just... Wasn't ready." Donnie sighs, hanging his head. "I felt like we rushed it, but it wasn't slowing down... I panicked... I didn't know how I felt about you, I still don't. But never once was it your fault..." Donnie shakes his head, finally pulling his arm from your grasp. "I had... Shit to figure out and I didn't want to drag you with me."

"That's what being partners is, supporting each other. Even figuring shit out together." You point out, your arm falling to your side as he pulls his own away.

"I know. I fucking know, okay?" Donnie says, his voice sounding agitated though his face didn't show it. "But you... Deserved better. Maybe you were in my life to show me that... That I was fucked up and needed to change. Maybe you were supposed to show me what love is supposed to feel like."

"What are you saying...?" You ask quietly, your heart aches more as you see the look on his face. Guilt. Sadness. Regret.

"I got married..." Donnie answers just as quietly. You started at him in shock. Sure it'd been about 5 years, but married? "I'm sorry... I should've told you. I know... I know, I'm so sorry."

"Married?" You question, still not completely comprehending what that means.

"Yes. About a year now... Expecting a baby too..." Donnie replies, he looks down at his feet. Donnie turned to the bustling street then back at you. "I've gotta go. It was nice seeing you, y/n."

[altschmerzes]

just gonna say this though: i am profoundly disappointed and angry that ted lasso became just another show in a long line of shows that disregard and fail victims/survivors when writing narratives about child abuse.

what we saw at the end of that finale was supposed to be a montage of happy endings. everyone got what they wanted, what they needed, everyone was happy. but what they showed us was not jamie’s happy ending. it was his father’s.

because what we saw wasn’t an acknowledgement of anything that happened to him. (i would’ve had issues with this regardless, even if this had happened, but-) this was not a ‘let’s sit and laugh and smile and go through photos and reconcile’ that came after an acknowledgement, an apology, a validation of anything jamie went through. there was no recognition of what he suffered because of that man, no amends, nobody on this show ever once so much as used the word ‘abuse.’ once, one time, did one person refer to something that happened as ‘traumatizing.’ and it just falls in line with every other show out there who wrote a storyline about an abusive parent clearly approached from the point of view of a parent and not the point of view of someone who was victimized.

people can choose to reconcile with abusers for all sorts of reasons, and i get that. but jamie is not a human person making choices for complicated personal reasons. he is a character in a show being written by writers who are making choices, and none of those choices involved validating or even directly recognizing the profound harm caused by emotional, physical, and sexual abuse. in a montage of happy endings, that was not a happy ending for an abuse victim, when he was shown sitting happy and smiling and hanging out with his abuser, who never once took accountability for what he did, never mind the show allowing for the possibility that sometimes people CAN actually cause so much harm to others that they are not entitled to their victim’s time and forgiveness, and it may not be safe or healthy for them to give it. that was a happy ending for an abuser, who got what HE wanted, what made HIS life better.

i dont know why i hoped for better on this subject when this show has honestly consistently dropped the ball with recognizing and reckoning with the abuse it wrote, when literally every show seems to pull this shit. but im still, as an abuse survivor who loves this show, feel incredibly stung and hurt not only by what they pulled last episode but by what they added in there at the end of the finale. to anyone else out there feeling as hurt by that as i do, im so sorry. we deserve better from the people telling our stories, and we deserve versions of our stories that don’t prioritize Family Togetherness and Blanket Forgiveness Forever at the expense of the health, safety, and happiness of survivors.

[shes-an-oddbird]

911 Lone Star Countdown Tag Game: Redemption

I’m seriously struggling with the word "redemption" so these answers probably trail off course a few times but please enjoy anyways.

Thank you for tagging me @lonestar-s5countdown

(1) Which 911 Lone Star character redemption moment is your favorite? (Feel free to interpret “redemption” as loosely as you like. This can include moments of forgiveness, moments characters proved themselves, moments characters learned from their mistakes, etc.)

The one that’s coming to mind is Mateo standing up to Captain Tatum and the 129. I respect that he was willing to do the grunt work without complaint because he’s the new guy or whatever, but they were awful to him and him telling them off needed to happen and in the end they did respect him. It was also just a great episode for proving to everyone what a good firefighter he is.

(2) Is there a character you think deserved more of an on screen redemption moment than we got in the show?

There are maybe a few little things I would have liked to have seen. I think it would have been nice for a scene between Carlos, TK and Iris after everything that happened at the beginning of season 4.

I also would have liked to have known why the woman with the DNR bracelet ultimately dropped the lawsuit. If there really was something Nancy or Tommy did or said that changed her mind.

(3) Is there a recurring (or even one-time guest) “villain” that you would like to see return with a redemption arc? Or if not, is there a “villain” you absolutely would not want to see get a redemption?

Personally, I think characters like Billy Tyson and Sgt. O’Brien are funniest when they are being best frienemies with Owen. Pearce too actually. He got a little redemption since he and Tommy ended up with a common enemy but it’s just so much funnier when they are fighting that I wouldn’t want him to completely redeem himself. Let him continue to be a coward and a sellout and too full of himself.

(4) Are there any unresolved conflicts from the first four seasons that you wish were reconciled on screen?

Quite a few actually! Let’s be honest, Lone Star has a way of not really solving problems, just brushing past them, but the one that bugged me the most was “A House Divided”. I had such high expectations for that episode so it’s probably my fault that more than a year later I’m still disappointed. It’s not that it was a bad episode, it’s just that they didn’t actually resolve the issue between Judd and Tommy. They just injured Wyatt and decided that that was more important, so the fight was over. And yes, Wyatt is more important but actual resolution would have been so much better.

The conflict could have been so interesting if it was more developed, maybe even over a couple of episodes. Watching it seep slowly into the rest of the team instead of having them have a childish argument about it that was so embarrassing I could barely watch. It could have been so good! The teams not working at their best being on different shifts and not on speaking terms? Not knowing what to do with their little group fighting. No Catan?! It could have thrown TK and Carlos’s entire home schedule off and have had them struggling because maybe they barely get to see each other. It should have directly affected Nancy and Mateo who were on opposing sides but god forbid their relationship be allowed to have any development.

I’m ranting now but it just irks me that this could have been such a good conflict/resolution for the whole 126. They could have had Owen come home, realize something was up and play devil’s advocate or give a different perspective to Tommy about why Judd reported her. They could have let Judd make a similar decision as Tommy or at least have him struggle with making that decision when he is put in a similar situation. All while the rest of the team is working together to accomplish something/save someone and admit to each other that it wasn’t their battle to fight. It could have been an episode(s) that had a story that included all of them, a conflict that affected all of them and instead we didn’t even get a resolution to the one conflict they did give us.

(5) Which main character would you like to have a more developed backstory?

Nancy is really the only character left who doesn’t have a backstory and I would give every penny I have to fix that. I think Paul could use a more developed backstory and they could have been more consistent with Mateo’s backstory but poor Nancy, we know almost nothing about her. And we are four seasons in. We know she is close with her sister, but why? We know she has always wanted to help people, but why? Maybe I’m reading her wrong but I’ve always felt Nancy was slow to trust people and maybe is even a little introverted (crazy right?) but every time I think they’re are going to explore that that, they don’t.

[34saveme34]

ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok

light tiny theory

what if 3 didn't hug 4 in Perfect bc he was still holding back

like not (just) feelings wise but because he still had that feeling in the back of his mind that he doesn't deserve it

I mean just before it, from his perspective, we would see Mario and Meggy hugging 4. It almost makes it feel like he would just be looking at them like an outsider (maybe admiring 4 but that's just my personal opinion)

and then 4 lightly teasing him about all the things he said

basically 3 was like, professing his undying Totally platonic love to him, of course he like has to address him

but 3 just wanted to stay out of it, hoping that maybe it won't be brought up and they can just focus on exiting the castle

but noooo, 4 had to take notice of it so gaily aauaohidhosdkljd-

it genuinely feels that way, like 3 wants to do great things for 4 and really really be there for him but afraid of the confrontation from him, which yknow- even more so adds to the idea that he's having a gay little crush on him

like they already kind of made up by that point, maybe not fully but they weren't the enemies they once were, so the idea of him staying distant because of being a villain is like, almost baseless

villain is a role and he's not filling that anymore, it's more accurate to call him an anti hero or just a little evil little guy who will do pity crimes against you. He would mug you earlier than take over the world

but yeah that really only leaves that- even then, he was so scared of 4 rejecting him

he was just avoiding it better than

but with like, trash friends well- you know-

if anything, I hope the current saga to end with 3 truly like, confiding in 4, trust him enough to be able to be weak with him in a way that's more sincere than anything he ever said, even more honest than he was in Trash Friends bc in my opinion that was just the start of it all

that's something I hope for the possible near future, even if we don't get them together, they really have to reconcile and- I think that's what those episodes with them have been setting up. Their rocky yet intense and close relationship meeting an especially big hard ship and it's on them to solve it or let it go to ruin and ruin each other along with it

[akria23]

Since I’m not doing a PromNont post for this weeks episode here are my Quick Thoughts

Are we shocked? No.

Like I said, no one in this show stands on business when it comes to leaving someone. It’s always my man-my man-my man & I could literally hear Nont’s internal voice screaming exactly that in this scene. Like girl no effort was given, the separation lasted five minutes. This was of no surprise cause the second he decided to continue Nant’s case in the last episode I knew, he knew, Prom knew - that Prom still had a chance.

I do wish the series would have taken more time reconciling them but I can’t really complain given this is how all the other relationships were handled - many of the emotional beats bring so sudden and somewhat convenient - and the conflict being resolved quickly rather than through any real development.

But it is what it is we go with the flow. It’s so nice seeing Nont radiating happiness and smiling. He deserves to be loved and I of course think Prom is the perfect person for that because he is a romantic at heart. He’s the type of person who wants to give love. Even if the one he loves isn’t reciprocating those feelings it doesn’t lessen the amount of love & loyalty he’s willing to given them - I keep saying it’s not contingent on that because of how he’s handled his feelings for Nant to even what he says in this scene about not requiring Nont to love him back and just wanting to spend the time he does have left there together. Like I’ve said before he tends to adapt himself around what his person needs and wants as long as it allows him to be with them, “I’ll help you investigate. Ill be your driver. I’ll be a listening ear.” He’s messy sometimes but really he’s just a romantic level-5 clinger who just wants to be wrapped around his boo all day. Prom finally has someone who loves him 😭

If I don’t get my happy ending 🥹

Nont I’m still scream cancel the plane ticket or Prom buy one! I don’t want no more surprises for this pair just let them be happy.

[syrena-del-mar]

Only Friends, Sizzling or Fizzling?: Overall Series Review

I quite literally have so many thoughts on Only Friends that I don’t know when I’ll be able to put them fully into words. So this is going to be a disjointed list of my running thoughts.

This means that the following will be filled with spoilers. So if you haven't caught up, and don't appreciate spoilers, read with caution.

How the friend group came out: I will say, I went into the show wishing the friend group would be destroyed with people going their own ways or at least the couples… Instead, we got Boston ostracized from the group with him meekly extending an invite for the rest of the group to meet him next new year in New York. Now, I’m not fully on the Boston-did-no-wrong boat, because I do think several of the things he did warranted apologies, but I also agree that he deserved just as many apologies back. I really wish the show had either gone the direction of everyone begrudgingly reconciling, the friend group completely destroyed, or at the very least truly acknowledging how they all hurt each other. But as much as the ostracizing of Boston left me with a bitter taste in my mouth, I guess the outcome mirrored reality. Friends band together when they all feel wronged and Boston had self-sabotaged his relationship with all of them.

Boston and Nick: I’ve seen some murmurs about Nick was hypocritical about saying that Boston doesn’t have to change but still leaving him, but I wholeheartedly disagree. Nick loved Boston, knew how Boston was, but also let himself be taken by his own fantasies of a monogamous relationship. He even acknowledges to Sand that Boston was being fair with him... which I still think this is debatable, because I strongly believe Boston and Nick needed a whole conversation about non-monogamy long before Boston started making out with Boeing. I'm actually relatively happy that Nick and Boston didn't end up together, for both their sakes. Nick wanted and needed that monogamy from Boston, he realized that he would never get that from Boston. He may love Boston for who he is, but that doesn't mean that his love can overcome that need for monogamy. Meanwhile Boston doesn't want to be monogamous, even if he does want to be Nick's boyfriend. This was never going to be solved even with all the power of love. They had different needs and Nick wasn't willing to put himself through that pain of understanding Boston but neglecting his own needs, so he let him go. Now, my issue lies in the execution of getting to that point. Since the beginning of the last quarter of the show, Boston and Nick got incredibly sidelined. As a result, their story development suffered for it. I think we were lucky if we even saw them for about 5 minutes after episode 9, it almost felt as if the show didn't know how to reconciliate their story once Boston was out of the friend group. I don't think P'Jojo was intentionally going out to villainize Boston's non-monogamous preference (assumingly, based on his other works) and I don't think that fans are reading it as so are being deaf/illiterate, but rather the vagueness due to the lack of story-telling time that Boston's arc had really fed into it. Also, maybe it was just me, but the sense of time in the story felt incredibly confusing when watching these last couple of episodes. So Boston's admittance of self-sabotaging his relationships, asking to be Nick's boyfriend, then making out with Boeing feels like it all occurred with 72 hours; it gave me whiplash and made me disappointed.

Sand and Ray: Out of everyone, I'm the most satisfied with their outcome and journey to it, but even then I still have a little criticisms. First off, let me get the airplane out of the room: Boeing. I'm in the boat (unironically) that Boeing should have been introduced much sooner and have been utilized more to create the suspense of potential rift between Sand and Ray. Or even more development of Sand and Boeing before SandRay got together, because I swear the emotional stakes lagged for me, because I'm not sure why Sand would have even been swayed by Boeing when he had just confessed to Ray that he couldn't live without him either. I understood why Sand was so hostile with Top, but I'm not sure I understood BoeingSand as well. So this whole cockfight just felt needless and an attempt at a last bit of messiness, because how underdeveloped it was. Now Sand and Ray, as individual characters, I only have minor qualms about. I wish we had learned more about Sand's dad and Ray's relationship with his father. From what I've seen, there's so much context that was left out behind Ray's backstory, that it would have been nice to explore even 5% of it. Now we kept hearing about Sand's dad, but it just felt like a lost plot point. I wish we really had time to delve into Ray struggling with his addiction and rehab. Aside from those minor complaints, I'm happy with where we left them and I hope they're able to go around festival-to-festival with a lot of love and success in their future.

Mew and Top: I have very little to talk about them, mostly because I skimmed through their scenes. Now this isn't because I think that Force and Book were bad in their scenes, because it was the exact opposite. They skeeved me out so incredibly much, that it was suffocating to watch their scenes. I wanted Mew to be more that a judgmental, holier-than-thou, character, especially when he stooped so low to revenge-porning Boston. I wanted him to acknowledge that he was just as nasty as he perceived Boston to be, but instead he always felt so sanctimonious and self-righteous that it was nauseating. With Top.... I wish we had gotten more towards his backstory with his fear of being alone due to the fire. It completely went over my head that the fire scene in the last episode was supposed to show that Top was finally able to handle his trauma better and that he was a better person because of Mew. His backstory was so little and came in just disjointed scenes, that I just made no connection and didn't come out of that scene with any emotion other than confusion. They came out of everything together... Not surprising. I have no comments neither positive nor negative towards that aspect.

Cheum and April: Cheum was as aggravating as Mew for me. Self-righteous and I swear she didn't like anyone in her friend group other than Mew, and even that feels questionable. She had literally no faith in Mew being a grown adult and kept pulling Top around when Mew was going through a breakdown. I felt no love from her when it came to Ray, so I always wondered if their friendship was solely out of convenience. Then the final blow was with how she dealt with the Atom x Boston situation. I completely understood her initial reaction of believing Atom and even confrontation, as a sibling, I would also deck a friend if they SA'd and were lording over my sibling's head a nude picture. But the moment that she knew Atom was lying and she just hugged him? Yeah.... I lost most of the little respect that I had for her. Pity points for that tiny apology that she gave to Boston, because she was the only one that did so, but definitely was not enough for the accusations that she brought against him. ALSO! Her absolutely shit-talking April's passion and work to her friends? That's not lack of communication between April and Cheum, that was just so backstabbing of her. April is a better woman than I will ever be, because I will never have the patience to deal with a girlfriend that thinks so lowly of my work. April, I wanted so much more of our indie-film queen. I wanted more out of her relationship with Cheum, especially with that truth-bomb that Ray spilled out. I wanted both of them to do the hard work of saving their relation other than just sweeping it under the rug. I wish we had seen so much of her!

P'Jojo and Vivienne: This is a tricky situation, so I'll be very brief on my thoughts, but I really hope these two never made it to Tumblr. Creators always getting involved with fandom spaces are always going to be difficult to navigate, this time around it seems that feelings were hurt and anger arose on both sides... Criticism of one's work will always be around and its more prominent the bigger the fandom is, which for most BLs, I think Only Friends was under a huge magnifying glass. It's nice to see staff interacting with fans about their work, but I do think there should be a line drawn. I'm not sure if their crossing of the line was for better or worse.

Final Thoughts: Anyways, this show will be missed because I did come out of the weekends enjoying the vast majority of it. I even have a couple of metas half-written, so maybe I'll get around to finishing those in the coming days. For a show that promised mess, it did deliver on that front, but I can't help but be sad that its coherence fizzled a bit towards the end. Maybe I'll come back to it in a year or two with a better appreciation of the vision, but for now... I'm mostly satisfied while also conflicted on what I think about the end. OH! And before I close this off... What the hell happened to the confessionals/talking head/asides? Why did we drop those off in the latter half?

[frostandflamesfanfic]

Last Christmas (Steve Harrington x Reader)

Last Christmas (Rated T)

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Reader

Word Count: 3.9k+ (get yer cocoa, everyone!)

Warnings: Brief moderate language, Steve Harrington being an idiot (as usual, but we love him anyway), friends-to-lovers (if that's a warning)

Summary: Co-written with @mischief_and_mercy on AO3 for Day 8 of Stevemas. Takes place at the end of Stranger Things 2 and inspired by the infamous titular song. You and Steve have been friends for years. You've seen him change and go from relationship to relationship, wishing that one day he might feel the same as you do. When Steve tries to hatch a plan with you to get Nancy back, tensions run high. Will your friendship be over?

It was no secret Steve Harrington struggled with luck. It was even clearer that he had lost his heart to a very prominent figure who also went to Hawkins High: Nancy Wheeler. Despite being friend-zoned too many times to count, you still harbored feelings for the hazel-eyed King Steve. You knew it was stupid—you should know better than to fall for someone who already gave his heart to someone else. 

Everyone saw the way Steve looked at Nancy. Even now, as you both sat in his bedroom, you knew his only thought was of walking into the Snow Ball to see her. He wanted to try to speak with her, to reconcile the broken relationship between the two of them. 

“What would I even-” the boy started as he paced around his room. “I mean, what could I even say to her? She’s…different now, ya know?”

“Yeah,” you said with a nod in agreement, “but so are you.”

Steve groaned, hands reaching up to cover and slide down his face. “Why does this have to be so damn complicated?”

“To quote the great Phil Collins-”

“NO!” He was quick to cut you off. “Don’t you start.”

In all the years he’s known you, Steve should have realized this was a losing battle. “You can’t hurry love,” you crooned in a terribly offkey melody. “No, you just have to wait. Love doesn’t come easy, it’s a game of give and take.”

“You’re such a nerd,” he groaned, head falling backwards in frustration. “Besides, wasn’t that song done by the Supremes like a million years ago?”

“And you have the audacity to call me a nerd.”

Steve scrunched his nose, causing a series of wrinkles to appear across his face. “Blame it on my dad,” he argued. “Used to blast that shit everywhere we went. We’re getting off topic here, though. How can I uncomplicate this?”

It wasn’t that you didn’t want Steve to be happy. In fact, it was quite the opposite; there was nothing you wanted more for him. The two of you had known each other for years and you knew the struggles he had going on at home. More than anything, Steve deserved to find someone who would love him unconditionally.

But…that person wasn’t Nancy. As much as they tried, you can’t force two puzzle pieces together that don’t fit. It only damages the structure of one or both puzzle pieces. And in this situation, the broken puzzle piece was Steve. Nancy had remained intact, perfectly fine to be without Steve. Steve, on the other hand, could barely function without her. As much as you hated it, he had convinced himself that Nancy was the one for him, and as his best friend, you had to do what you could to support him.

“What if you gave her a gift?” you suggested. “Something…nice, that’ll help her remember you. Maybe like a locket?”

Steve paused mid step and tilted his head side to side, as though he was pondering your suggestion. 

Last Christmas I gave you my heart

But the very next day you gave it away

“Maybe I should ditch,” he remarked, mostly to himself. “Maybe I’ll just leave Dustin, run back into the car, and come back here.”

You pinched the bridge of your nose. “Steven Joseph Harrington, I swear to God if you have stressed me out for nothing, I am going to suffocate you with your own damn pillow.”

“Stressed you out?!” he exclaimed.

“Yes, it stressed me out! You are absolutely incapable of making a decision and not completely wimping out on that same decision! Grow some balls!”

The dark-haired boy before you wrinkled his nose. “You know,” he started, “we would be having a completely different conversation right now if this was your problem. If you wanted to get back with Frankie Wallace– God knows why you’d want to– you’d be stressing over every detail.” 

“Well, good thing for you I don’t want to go out with Frankie Wallace,” you said evenly as you rested your head on your hand. The unspoken words remained resting on your tongue, heavy and dark. I want to go out with you.

“Yeah, see, that’s your problem. You need to get back out there again,” Steve encouraged, entirely oblivious to your distant longing stares. “Show the little shitbag what he’s missing.”

“That’s gross, Steve. Last time you encouraged me to do that, he stuck his tongue down my throat and I had to sucker punch him in his. Would you like to try that again? Wanna relive another trip to the principal?” 

You watched as your best friend’s jaw clenched and un-clenched in a silent rhythm. He flexed his fingers into a fist. “He did that to you?”

Your eyebrows furrowed. Why would that matter to him? Was he jealous? As wrong as it was, you almost wished he had some feeling comparable to yours when he looked at Nancy. But you knew it would never happen. Try as hard as you might, you would never truly be Steve’s…person. He would never look at you the way he saw Nancy. To Steve, you would always be his little friend with a face full of freckles and braces, the one who was more interested in homework than the important social gatherings of the school year. 

After the Snow Ball came and went, with Steve’s plan hopefully going off without a hitch, life would go back to normal. You’d pass each other by in the halls, smile on occasion when he’d visit your locker. 

“Yeah, Steve. That’s what happens when you pick the wrong guy.” 

Once bitten and twice shy

I keep my distance, but you still catch my eye

Tell me baby, do you recognize me?

Well, it's been a year, it doesn't surprise me

You knew that Steve remembered what it was like to attract the wrong girl. But… he didn’t know what it was like to look at your best friend, every day, knowing that there would be no one else that could measure up to who you wanted. Despite the absentee parents, Steve had always known how to treat his partners. He would tell you about his dates, how he’d always try to pull out all the stops. You knew his moves, his quirks…those sly tactics he thought were smooth that you had convinced him were borderline sketchy, even if he didn’t mean it to be. If anything, being alone most of his life made him gentle and caring. 

Steve told you about his dream once, when he and Nancy first started dating. He wanted this great big Hawkins family that would have all the love he never received growing up. It shattered your heart into a thousand pieces to hear, but it also made you all the more protective of him. Deep down, you knew this wasn’t the future Nancy would want. She was a girl with big ambitions, who wanted to do more than stay in a town as small as Hawkins. You knew that Steve would support her either way, even if it meant sacrificing what he wanted most, but it didn’t seem fair. Your best friend didn’t deserve to have his heart broken; not by Nancy Wheeler or anyone else. 

“You never…” Steve cleared his throat. “You never told me that.”

“That’s because you were a little…” Too preoccupied with sucking your girlfriend’s face off. “...busy.”

“You can still tell me things!” he exclaimed. The guilt swirled in his eyes, immediately hitting you right in the chest with your own pang of guilt. You probably should have told him when it happened. It would have saved you long nights of avoiding him to cry in your bedroom listening to Bowie and hating how stupid you were. Maybe it would have helped your pride to have him knock some sense into the creep. Although, you knew he would just be picking another fight he was destined to lose.

“I didn’t want to bother you.” I didn’t want to make you feel bad for me while you were happy with your own girlfriend.

Steve whispered your name quietly as he sat on the bed next to you. “No matter how busy I am with a girlfriend, with my friends, there will always be time for you.” He reached over to tuck a stray hair behind your ear. “You’re my best friend. It’s part of my responsibilities to protect you from douchebags like Wallace. Not to mention I’d be lost without you.”

You shifted uncomfortably on the comforter, fingers smoothing the material as you refused to meet your best friend’s gaze. How could he say that to you? Your heart thudded against your chest like a rubber ball against a brick exterior. 

“Then why won’t you notice me?” you blurted out, your face burning as your mind registered what had just slipped out of your mouth. “Why do you always go to Nancy when clearly, the both of you can’t work out?!”

Steve recoiled from his position, his expression mimicking that of someone who had been slapped. Burning rage filled your heart, but not at him—never by him. It was at yourself, for ruining the relationship and the gentle peace the both of you had together. Your feelings had always toed the line between friendship and something more with Steve, but you never truly dared to make the leap and cross it. Teasing remarks, gentle touches that lingered just a little too long…yet you didn’t want to take the ultimate risk of revealing your feelings and losing Steve in the process. 

“I’m sorry,” you murmured as you gathered your belongings as quickly as possible with tears building up against your lash line. “I shouldn’t have said that, it was wrong of me and not my place at all.”

A hand encircled your wrist, one that most definitely was not your own. Your gaze flicked from the ground to Steve’s chest, unable to look him in the eyes directly. How could you? You had basically ruined your friendship in one fell swoop. Now you know what a fool you’ve been.

You cleared your throat, still staring at the floor. To hell with it all. You’ve said this much already, what more could happen from you pouring out your heart?

“I’ve liked you for a while, Steve.” you stated quietly, still staring at your sock-covered toes. “I… I think I realized last Christmas. But… When I asked if we were going to spend Christmas together like usual, you preferred to spend it with Nancy. I… I lost my heart that day, Steve. I lost it to you.”

“I-” Steve started as his hand tightened around your wrist. “I didn’t know-”

“How could you, Steve?” you asked bitterly. Considering the rhetorical question, you continued on your outpouring of feelings. “You were too invested with Nancy to see what it was doing to me. You only have eyes for one girl at a time. So when Nancy entered the picture… I was lost from you, Steve.” Your voice broke on your last sentence, “I was lost from you, Steve, and I still am.”

“But you’re right here,” he argued. “I’m right here. Everything’s okay now. I mean, yeah, Hawkins went to shit again, but we’re still alive. We’re still-”

“Just because I am physically here, Steve, doesn’t mean that I don’t feel lost from you! When’s the last time you’ve asked about my day, or about one of my tests, or offered to help me study for one of those tests, or, hell, did you even bother to call me back when I broke up with Frankie?”

“I guess, I guess I, uh,” Steve ran a hand through his hair in exasperation. You could tell he was struggling to search through his memory, holding onto a glimmer of hope he could find a reason. But the truth was, he couldn’t and he never would.

“Forgot,” you huffed in frustration. “You forgot. Again. Because Nancy is the only thing that occupies your brain anymore.”

“That’s not true!!”

“Then what the hell is the truth, then, Steve?! Tell me the damn truth!”

A blank look overtook your best friend’s face as you grew silent after your outburst. You hadn’t meant to lash out at him like you did. It was a therapeutic feeling, though. After watching from the sidelines for so long, having that chance to really tell Steve how you really felt was…freeing. After a moment, you gave up on waiting for an answer. It didn’t really matter what he had to say. You said your piece and now you needed to move on before it was far too late, not only for your friendship – but for yourself. 

Heaving a heavy sigh, you bit your lower lip and grabbed your backpack back up from off the floor. Steve barely registered your movements, only coming back to the real world just before you started down the stairs. You heard his voice call out your name as you walked out the front door, but you had to ignore it. This Christmas, you needed to move on. You needed to let go of Steve Harrington, even if it hurt like hell.  

= = = = = = = = = = =

You hadn’t spoken to Steve for the rest of that day. When he called later that evening, you let it go to voicemail. At school, you ignored him outside of classes, being quick to spot some random “friend” of yours that you hardly knew. You spent most of the day after helping your younger sister get ready for the snow ball, no matter how much she argued that having her older sibling help was practically a dramatic attempt for social suicide.

Well, at least she wasn’t going to the Snow Ball in what she thought was the epitome of fashion (which it was most definitely not). Resisting the urge to ruffle her hair, you all but shoved her out the door to the car. Why put all of your hard work to waste and let her be late for the event?

The last thing on your mind was if you would cross paths with Steve in the parking lot. Given everything that had gone on since your last conversation, it wasn’t as if he was at the forefront of your thoughts. At this point, your main focus was on making sure your little sister had the best Snow Ball ever, even if it meant you needed to sit and monitor a punch bowl for three hours.

After placing the keys in the ignition, you drove to the biggest event your middle school sister could ever dream to have. As you entered the parking lot of Hawkins Middle School, you could already tell that no expense had been spared with the event planning committee’s strenuous budget. Balloons and streamers littered the walls in a variety of pale winter colors. You were almost glad that you had opted to dress you and your sister in darker tones, as it would help you stand out against the backdrops.

Once parked, your sister couldn’t wait to get out of the car. She made a beeline for the sign-in sheet and was quick to start catching up with her new friend, Max. After you signed yourself in, you couldn’t help but look around for Dustin. You had half expected him to be here by now, but there was no sign of the curly haired genius child.  

A crowded room, friends with tired eyes

I'm hiding from you and your soul of ice

Despite your vehement wishes for Steve not to show up, you couldn’t help the sinking feeling in your chest when you didn’t see him walk through the doors. You wanted him not to show up, it’s what you had hoped for all along… Right? But the heavy feeling in your chest and the spiraling thoughts inside of your head said otherwise. You tried to distract yourself with ever-so-important punch monitor duties, dragging the ladle through the liquid to create ripples within the bowl. 

About an hour into your self-made prison, you heard the sound of a throat clearing in front of you. Oh. Oh no. As you glanced up, you locked eyes with the boy you had spent the last few days trying to avoid. Steve wasn’t dressed up, not really. He had on his favorite red sweater and a pair of Levi’s. Even with the curious look of concern etched into his features, he still looked incredibly Steve-like. 

My God, I thought you were someone to rely on

Me? I guess I was a shoulder to cry on

Now that feeling in your chest blossomed into something incredibly unwanted that would make you forgive Steve in the span of a fraction of a second. This time, it was familiar. It was the same feeling that made you hold onto the thought of him finally dating you for oh so long.

“Hey,” he stuttered. “Can I, uh, have some punch, please?”

“Pretty sure it’s just for the kids,” you couldn’t help the sharpness to your tone.

“I could make sure it’s not spiked?” he offered weakly. The puppy eyes he gave you were enough to make you want to put your hands over your face, if not just to resist the temptation of forgiving him oh-so-quickly. You knew it would hurt even more if you let him back into your heart. So why were you longing to pour some punch in a glass in a peace-making gesture?

Deep down, you knew why. 

It was because it was Steve, the boy you had known since the two of you could crawl (albeit not very well on his part). This was the guy who spent every minute of summer break in your backyard, talking for hours about the things he wanted to do when he could finally get away from his home – to finally be free. This was Steve, your best friend, who knew your favorite ice cream flavor and your favorite movies. It wouldn’t matter how many times he broke your heart, because he would always be there, in the back of your mind and your most important memories.

“That’s, uh,” you cleared your throat, “that’s why people like me are on the payroll, I’m afraid. This punch has already passed inspection. Although, I’m sure Nance might need some help at table seven.”

“I don’t want to help Nancy,” Steve explained as a bite of frustration crept into his tone. “I want to focus on you.”

Your words rang back to you in what you had spit at him during your fight. Nancy is the only thing that occupies your brain anymore. You hated that he still held onto that. Despite the truth to those words you had said, regret slithered around your heart and crushed it in a vice-like grip. Was there truly any more hope towards a relationship between you and Steve?

“Then why do I find that so hard to believe?”

“Because I’ve messed up,” Steve said honestly. “I’ve messed up, but I really, really want to be able to make it up to you. Please, let me make this up to you.” 

A sigh escaped your lips and your gaze traveled back down to the punch bowl before you. It would be an internal battle, this decision. But really, what else did you have to lose? He had already shattered your heart before. What’s one more time? “And how do you expect to do that, Harrington?”

His hand dipped into his jacket pocket and pulled out a small box, which was horribly wrapped. The edges of your lips twitched in an attempt to silence your laughter at how poor his wrapping job truly was.

“What’s this?” you asked.

“A present… for you. I just… I thought you should have it, y’know, in case you won’t let me do anything for Christmas. As awful as it sounds, I figured you’d actually take the present in public rather than in private… I know you hate me. I’ve been an awful friend.”

Hate. For some reason, that word just bothered you. Did you really hate Steve? After everything the two of you had been through as kids, would this really be the end of your friendship? 

Swallowing hard, you reached your hand out wordlessly for the gift. “For the record,” you mused as you picked at the paper, “I don’t hate you. I’m just…I guess I don’t know how to feel. I said some things and you…well, you didn’t. I don’t know where that leaves us now.” 

“I… I don’t really know where that leaves us either,” Steve said quietly. “But what I do know is I don’t want to lose you.”

Without another word, you started to rip at the wrapping paper. After removing its disguise, you discovered it was a small silver box. You frowned up at Steve in confusion as you lifted the lid off of the top. What you saw surprised you even more. Placed on a bed of crushed purple velvet sat a silver letter “S”.

“You decided to get me something with your initial?” you asked, unamused.

“It’s not- It’s not to mark you as mine or stupid shit like that!” Steve spit out. “I uh… I just uh…” He somehow managed to pull himself together enough to say, “I want to be yours. I want to gift you flowers and make you breakfast and point at random stars in the night sky and act like I know the story behind constellations I still can’t see. And most of all… I want to remind you that you are always going to take priority. I don’t want anyone else.”

“But- but what about Nancy?” you asked, wide eyes locked onto his own soft gaze.

“It’s not about Nancy anymore,” he replied. “To be honest with you, I don’t think it ever really was. See, when Nance…when she left me, I think I just– well, I think I felt pretty stupid. Like maybe, maybe there was something wrong with me. I was a jerk these last few years. No, no, I was more than a jerk. I was a real dick. And I guess…” He hesitated before he continued. “I guess I was afraid if I even tried to find someone else, I’d just screw it up like I normally do.”

You frowned. “You don’t screw things up, Steve.”

“No, I did,” he argued. “I really, really did.”

“You didn’t-” you started again.

“If I didn’t screw things up, then why didn’t I have the guts to tell you I loved you six years ago?”

“Because I didn’t have the guts to tell you that I loved you either.”

The two of you stood in silence for several minutes, eyes flickering around the room to find something– anything– to talk about and break the spell. Something had changed between the two of you now and there was definitely no going back. While part of you wanted to scream of happiness from Steve’s confession, another part of you was scared. What if you tried and it messed everything up even more? What if you lost Steve entirely?

As if he sensed your unease, Steve took a few steps around the side of the table. His hand found your own as he laced his fingers with yours. The other hand went to your cheek, cradling your face gently. His eyes searched yours as he leaned closer, his cologne sweeping through your senses and preventing smells other than him from making their way to you. Lips grazed yours as both your eyes shuttered closed, bodies leaning into one another. 

Finally, finally you were kissing Steve Harrington…and he was kissing you back.

Maybe this Christmas wouldn’t be so bad after all.

------------ Authors' Note:

frostandflames- Well that's a wrap on day 8 of my Stevemas event. I just want to say thank you to mischief_and_mercy for helping me out and being willing to collaborate with me on today’s fic. This story was actually their idea, so make sure to give them some support and check out their stuff over on AO3! They write for a variety of characters, including the gang from Stranger Things and MCU.

If you liked this story and want to see more collabs like this on either of our profiles, make sure to comment, tag your friends, and reblog. Likes are appreciated, but it's the other types on interactions that help spread the word about our work and motivate our brain cells to keep working together.

AND if you want updates on the rest of Stevemas, maybe consider giving my blog a cheeky follow. I promise I won't spam your dash outside of sharing the works of other amazing writers and creators on this hellsite.

Until next time, my little sparks! <3

mischief_and_mercy: Hey guys! I hope y'all enjoy the fic! Give all the love to El for coming up with the idea and helping us along (no matter what she says about me…). She's put so much hard work into this, so give her all the love you can spare <3 please leave a comment or a reblog (or both ;D)! Happy Holidays lovelies!

Taglist: @bakerstreethound, @theelmgrove

[bengiyo]

Middleman's Love Ep 5 Stray Thoughts

Last week, the boys went to Songkran. Jade felt bad for Mai and went along with him. Tong got told off by King and went to hang out with Gus, but Gus was hurt by Tong being especially mean to him. Jade had an incredibly reasonable reaction to misunderstanding Mai's request to eat together every day, and then they helped Jade's sister deal with a pervert. Mai confessed to Jade, but he totally misunderstood it again and thought Mai was aiming for a better evaluation. Jade's fudanshi eyes are getting in the way.

Oh good. We're picking up with Mai making sure Jade knows he's serious.

Mai fell in love with Jade when he saw him save that puppy? I'm about it.

Finally! A romantic lead responds to someone who doesn't think they're someone people fall in love with by naming the specific traits they enjoy!

Yes, Mai, go for the obvious seme moves. It's the only way to get through to a fudanshi.

I'm actually enjoying the smartwatch bit.

I do like when we have a dutiful son struggling under the weight of parental expectations.

Gus holding his ground and not easily reconciling with Tong is something that can be so personal.

NGERN ANUPART IS IN THIS SHOW. HOW WAS I NOT TOLD THIS??

Oh my god. This is giving Domundi queer life after school special, but I like the modeling of parental behavior in this scene. Everyone is surprised at first, but rallies to Mai's said and expresses curiosity about Jade while also reiterating their unconditional support and love. Good job, BL.

I love King and Uea being patient with Jade even as they tease him.

Jade is such a mess that Mai's attempts at flirtation consistently go awry.

This company put a decent amount of money into this sports day event. Everyone got outfits and everything.

Well well well. Jade is now jealous of his perception of the potential between Mai and Gus.

Is that the actor who played Valentine in Love Area in this flashback?? It is! Does he break Jade's poor little heart??

He does it in the next scene? Damn!

Oh, this is mean. You can break up with someone without telling them there's something fundamentally wrong with them. This guy suck.

Still, I don't mind the heavy handed flashback here if we're going to see Jade struggle with his own jealousy.

Damn, King! You can't just take that man's egg!!

There goes that jealousy again.

They have played multiple rounds and no one has changed this score board.

Oh, Gus, you are adorable and I love you.

I really love Uea, and love seeing him have fun.

Cannot believe we're getting a montage of Mandee variety content as a plot. Can't believe how amused I am by it.

Yes, Uea, please chide King for his lack of tact, even if the direct approach is probably correct with Jade.

Yes, let Uea hold the award. It's what he deserves.

Oh lord we're ending on a misunderstanding.

I'm so invested in Jade feeling like he deserves love, holy shit. When did this show sneak up on me?

[aevyk-ing]

Okay, second part, here we go...

SPOILERS AHEAD

The new elves. They're interesting. Although, speaking of names... I'm quite aware that "Astrid" means "divine beauty" and has nothing to do with stars. Also, nope, Kosmo, (have you been reading my Tumblr?) Stella is still a stupid name for a monkey.

Anyway, the tower's design is... weird and giving them an affinity with spiders is weirder. I think they're supposed to be like the Air Nomads, being all meditative and stuff, which is interesting. That moment with Kosmo reminded me of that scene in Tintin with the levitating monk.

But then, seriously? A prophecy and Chosen Ones? I know that if someone aks you if you're a god you say yes, but come on. Even though that wasn't developed much (I couldn't stop thinking about Frozen with "melt the frozen heart"), it showed that Rayla doesn't deserve Callum. Yep, I still don't like her since she came back. And even when she finally tries to apologize, he's like "Oh, no, you did nothing wrong". She did! But that's okay, because the last few episodes have been focused on the idea that they're destined to be together and all that when we saw them reconcile at the end of last season. And I really wanted to see another great dream scene and then it ended up being the chakras episode of The Last Airbender, this time getting both love and power (see the problem?). BTW, a nitpick here, but if you have two Chosen heroes, you give them two gifts, not one.

Oh, Sol Regem, you were so right... until the last part. You should have eaten them.

And I knew that was the candy. Like, come on.

Also, what's with all the Viren stuff? We know he's trying to be good, don't give him a sad backstory showing how he's the hero. I can't understand why he's so focused on Soren but left Claudia to rot away when she's also trying to get better. He used black magic but when his own daughter is lost and afraid, he's like: "I didn't ask you to do this. Bye".

So much filler in this episodes. Although I have to say that I always love a good backstory.

Well, let's see how this ends.

[girl4music]

Healthy codependency.

That’s a really good way of putting it.

I often talk about how codependency depicted in this show is bad or negative surrounding the characters of Willow, Riley and even Xander. But codependency in itself is not bad or negative. There is heathy versions just as there are unhealthy versions. And yes, despite how much I can’t stand the way the Scoobies treat Buffy sometimes, she’s definitely better off with them in her life than without them. And vice versa of course.

The main problem I have with Season 7 is really how they don’t consider this even half as much as they used to even though it’s the season where they need to work as a team the most. I mean the ‘father figure’ starts to act like your average Council Watcher again and a lot is taken away from Buffy and Giles’ dynamic because of it. The intelligent nerdy girl and best friend is suffering with her own self-control issues and therefore can’t be as useful as she probably wants to be to the Slayer. Plus their relationship is in shambles following the events of Season 6 and doesn’t get properly reconciled. It’s sort of just skimmed over as a “necessary” requirement to the final plot. And as for Xander… well… perpetual victim mode is just something that never really seems to change for him and as for how that informs his relationship with Buffy… well, let’s just say he deserved to say what he did in ‘Empty Places’ as much as I hate that episode.

I don’t know. They’re all just sort of ‘Scooby Gang but less’ in this final season. They’re so distant and empty. It’s not enjoyable to watch. It’s frustrating because everything just feels forced rather than natural. The organically built significant character interaction just isn’t there between really any of the main characters and because they bring in a load of other characters (the potentials) that may be the focus of the season but don’t really get proper development either, it all plays out like one big chaotic mess. But not like the way it does with Season 6 - which the point is for it to play out like one big chaotic mess for the sake of the main character’s representation and development (both negative and positive). In other words: it feels unintentional and therefore unnecessary. Like the writers didn’t know what they wanted to do but because it was the season to end off the entire show, just did what they thought might be entertaining and compelling but, to me, ended up being anything but.

Yeah, Buffy is one of the greatest superheroines ever. But only when they they knew what they were doing. And I’m not convinced they always did. Still, it’s a hell of a lot better than what we get today with female superheroines - which as you’ve pointed out - may as well be cardboard cut outs given the lack of emotional vulnerability they display on screen.

You’ve got to hand it to Gellar - she definitely knew how to portray a very relatable and human superheroine. And you can see how she was stronger for it, not weaker. That is indeed the problem with depiction of “feminism” on TV today. Which is why I just turn it off. It is not inspiring or motivating to watch. It’s fucking insulting. Well-written characters have layers… depth… nuance. They fluctuate because real people fluctuate. They’re flawed because real people are flawed. Females characters in particular get shafted of all of this characterisation because it’s “feminism” written by people who don’t know or understand how important keeping the balance is.

Sure most of it is because of how she’s written. But Gellar understood the assignment. I just wish they ended the show the way they began it. As a family. You have the parallel shots of Buffy, Willow and Xander walking off side by side together and Giles staying behind and making a witty comment about how “the Earth is doomed” with this rag-tag lot in ‘The Harvest’ and ‘Chosen’ which is meant to be as a tribute to how far they’ve come but that they’re still the same as they always were and it just doesn’t land in the same way because of how much they’re NOT “together” in it. Other people might think that that’s a satisfying conclusion to a wonderful character-driven saga but I don’t feel it because it’s contrived. I like the idea. I like the message. I just don’t like the execution of it all.