#this maybe sounds like im still anxious all the time but its not

[sodrippy]

being normal as a baseline is so funny after a whole life of having an anxious base bc now im like. wow i get anxious over so much stuff huh

[deviantdaffodil]

lust

miguel o’hara x reader smut

im actually genuinely obsessed and deeply worried about my mental health . the grip spiderman 2099 has on me is unwavering and im afraid i will never get to escape

contains: breeding, marking/biting, office sex, spontaneous sex, stress relief sex fr, clawing, size difference, slightly jealous miguel, very dominating miguel, im obsessed with miguel, a more in character miguel this time i hope

A deep sigh escapes your throat. You really did not have to deal with O’hara right now; it’s been a long day. Sure, you were thankful he allowed you to stay in the spider society occasionally, despite just being a normal civilian, but god did he aggravate you. Often. He called you to his office for god knows what reason. You were anxious as you entered the office. Anyone in their right mind would be.

He gazes down at you, his stare is cold and his face is stoic. “Glad you could make it,” his tone is hard to read. He didn’t sound upset. But he also didn’t sound glad to see you. You keep quiet, deciding to just let him speak. His eyes are piercing through the dimly lit room; the sun was setting so the sky didn’t do much in terms of lighting the room up. Miguel continues to glare down at you, silent and judgmental. Instead of just allowing his platform to slowly make its way down to you, Miguel simply lunges down to you. He stands before you, still towering over you. His lack of communication was making you anxious as he would usually tear someone in here a new one if need be. He silently slips his arm around your waist and shoots a web up, bringing you both up to where his desk is located.

After being set down you recompose yourself with a chuckle. “I’m- I’m never gonna get used to that..” You pause for a moment, choosing your next words carefully. Heat radiated off your body and Miguel’s too. He still had his arm around you and you were too locked in place by a mix of fear and shock to move. “What is it that you wanted to see me about?” You look up at him.

He exhaled. He felt like he needed that. “This- This isn’t easy.. to admit,” Miguel mumbles. The claws of his suit had a grip on your waist, but you were still too paralyzed by shock to do anything. “I.. I want you all to myself. If I could keep you up here all to myself without seeming insane, I would, in a heartbeat.” He looks down at you, his eyes locking with yours.

This was absolutely news to you. You yourself had a thing for Miguel for the longest time. But you had no idea he wanted you this bad. Your mouth sat agape as he spoke to you. The Miguel O’hara.. wants you? All to himself? You would hang out with him while he worked sometimes, but you definitely didn’t see this kind of thing coming, especially not from someone as professional as him.

He turns to you, putting his hands on your shoulders. His gaze was fiery and he dug his claws into your shoulders. “You’re just.. such a relaxer to me. When you’re around, I don’t worry about all of.. this,” he motions to his desk. “But you.. you. You make it all better.” A growl rumbles in this throat. “I have a request- a-a suggestion maybe.”

Your jaw still hangs open. You shut your jaw and blink repeatedly. “What.. do you have in mind?”

A flash of excitement streaks across his face. “Sex,” he blatantly stated. He didn’t try to sugar coat it or anything. He wanted to fuck you more than anything. Even now, seeing you look up at him like that, in utter shock as he grips your shoulders has his cock aching. “I’m so.. so tired of seeing you with other spidermen. I need you.”

You paused, completely baffled. “Y-Yes!” You cried out, a little too eager for your liking. You hated to admit it, but you absolutely wanted him. “I-I mean, yes. Yes I’m okay with that.” Miguel did not hesitate. His claws immediately ripped open your clothes, exposing your chest. Miguel’s claws retracted and he immediately attacked your chest, latching his lips onto one of your nipples, the other being massaged by his hand. “O-Oh my god!” Your impulse cry of ecstasy caused Miguel to groan.

He peppered kisses up your neck, his big, calloused hands massaging your breasts. “I’m going to make you mine,” his lips are right next to your ear, his voice is low and husky. “Can I bite you?” You nodded, lost in the feeling of his fingers massaging your nipples. He groans as he drags his fangs across your skin before burying them into the crook of your neck. You let out a moan. His fangs sunk deep into your flesh, he was very careful not to release any venom though. He wanted to make sure you felt every bit of what he was about to do to you. The stinging sensation of the bite slowly faded to pleasure. He keeps his mouth latched onto your neck, sliding his hand down your body and letting his hand rest on your ass, squeezing gently. He pulls his fangs out of you, blood dripping from them now. You look into his eyes and bite your lip.

“Kiss me,” you whispered breathlessly as you grab his face in your hands, slamming your lips together. The taste of your blood was on his tongue, he gently bites your lower lip and tangles his hands in your hair. “Miguel,” your voice was high pitched and whiny, more so than you wanted. Miguel didn’t mind and in fact reveled in the fact he was able to do this to you. He continues peppering your skin with kisses, sliding your shorts and underwear down your body. He then rips his own suit off his skin, instantly cooling his body and setting his cock free.

He grabs a fistful of your hair and bends you over his desk, lining his cock up with your dripping cunt. “I need you,” his chest is pressed against your back and he slowly thrusts his cock in between your thighs. “So plump and warm,” he moaned in your ear, sliding his hands under your chest pinching your nipples.

“Oh, Miguel,” you moan, your face pressed against the wood of his desk. “Fuck me, please,” you cried, your lip quivering in anticipation.

Miguel slid his hands down to your hips, lightly raking his claws down your flesh, small beads of blood forming at the scratches left behind. He grabs the base of his cock, rubbing his tip in your wet folds. You whimper in anticipation, then Miguel stuffed the tip of his cock in your hole. He was so big it felt like he was ripping you in half. He was griping your hips and digging his claws into them for better leverage. “So little,” he muttered as he pounded into you, “so.. tight..” His thrusts were shallow, working his way up to filling you completely. “Can you take it all? Do you think you can handle all of my big cock?” He was babbling while he thrusted, drunk on your pussy already.

“Please Miguel,” your small frame whimpered for him. “More please..”

Miguel pulled out almost all of the way, a whimper escaped you when due to feeling empty. He spat on his cock and slowly pushed his throbbing, swollen cock into your quivering pussy. Tears pricked the corner of your eyes and the two of you moaned at the new feeling. Miguel began thrusting wildly, pounding hard in deep, the tip of his cock kissing your cervix. “Wh-Where?” he asked, in reference to where you wanted him to cum.

You turned back to face him as best as you could. Looking into his eyes you say, “Inside.” This sends him into overdrive. He’s pounding deep into you at animalistic speeds. You were sure if you were on your back you’d have a bulge from his swollen head protruding out. He latches his fangs onto your other shoulder as he growls, completely feral, and cums inside of you. You cry out as he bites you again, your walls clenching around his cock as you cum. He continues thrusting sloppily, letting your tight cunt milk all of his seed. He retracts his claws and holds himself up over you, hands at either side of your head. He pulls out of you and you can feel sweat dripping from his forehead.

“Miguel.. You ruined my clothes.”

“Mierda.. Yeah I did.”

[tan1shere]

Do you think you could please do something with eva like hurt/comfort ig? If you're comfortable maybe like reader had super bad anxiety and something triggers her and she basically has an anxiety attack and closes herself in her room but eva comforts her?

Here For You

Eva x female reader !

A/n: yes ofcourse ! If you are new here, welcome I am more than comfortable doing anxiety as I suffer from it and I know a thing or two about the stupid thing ! This is for my anxiety girlies I love you deeply <3 YOU ARE LOVED HEAPS !!!!!!

Summary: Eva helps calm you down when you need it most.

Warnings: anxiety, anxiety attack, think that's the main ones, lmk if I missed anything major !

Masterlist

It was as if you had been on edge lately and you had absolutely no idea why. Which worried you, why did you feel like this with no reasonable explanation. You have been traveling for awhile now to go see your long distance girlfriend, Eva. She had moved awhile back and you wanted to see a tour of her new place. You were tired, sick of driving. So you were incredibly thankful once you had pulled in, looking at the massive house infront of you. She greets you outside with a smile. "Hi baby girl." Her feet move towards your door instantly opening it. Your energy comes back, leaping out and into her arms. Wrapping your legs around her torso in the process. "I missed you." You say into her neck as you hug her tightly. Her hand makes its way into your hair gently stroking. "Not as much as I missed you."

After a few kisses it was time to see the inside. "This place is huge!" You beam, turning around in a circle to get a look at everything. "It is, has many rooms." You then look at her, smiling tiredly. "You look exhausted." She then says, coming over to you. You nod as a reply, sinking back into her touch. "I have some people coming over later on-" You pull away slightly to look at her. You were always an anxious person, social anxiety was a main. You hated meeting new people, you felt so incredibly awkward. Your brain makes you overthink, not to mention the panic and anxiety attacks you'd get.

"I know, but its ok I'll be here with you I promise. Besides I'd love for you to meet my friends. They'll love you." You sigh. "They won't once they find out im an anxious idiot." She looks at you sadly. "You're not an anxious idiot baby. I swear to you. You're the sweetest thing in this world." She speaks delicately as she goes to hold your face in her soft hands. You close your eyes, taking a breath. "I'm still unsure.." Her thumb rubs your cheek. "I'm right here. - promise."

You trusted that she'd keep that promise, and she did. But you couldn't help feeling judged by all these new people. Even if they weren't you couldn't shake the thought. You were staying super close to Eva, honestly wanting this to be all over so you could sleep, and spend your time with her. You tried your hardest to put on a smile, make out you weren't shaking in your boots. You felt pathetic, why did you get like this.

Then the worst happens. A question was being asked. "So, Y/n. How long have you known Eva?" A girl named Cricket asks. You pause for a bit. "Uhm, 3 years now?" You look at Eva, wanting a little bit of backup. You were so stupid God. "Yes! 3 years and more to come." She smiles at you, a smile that sets your nerves at ease for a moment. Feeling like all of this went away. But then she speaks again. "And where abouts are you from again?" Your head turns to her. "A few hours, uhm from here." You try so hard to sound confident but your voice indeed comes out shakey. And you heard it. The worst part.

Your overthinking comes into play.

Shes going to think I'm a weirdo. Why can't I just talk normal. What's. Wrong. With. Me.

That little voice clouds your brain making you miss what she had asked you next, you feel a hand come in contact with your back. Bringing you out of the thoughts slightly. "W-what?" You ask, more shakey than before. Eva rubs lightly. "Are you alright love-?" Cricket asks sweetly. The thoughts had time to creep back up on you in that small space of time. "I- excuse me.." You rushed upstairs into Eva's room, locking the door in the process so no one could come in. You clutch your chest, trying to calm down but you couldn't. It felt heavy, making you freak out more.

Tears begin to stream uncontrollably. Taking in breaths as you choke on air. You slide down the door, gripping your hair. Having the same little voice repeat.

You're stupid.

You're awkward.

You are weak.

"I'm stupid.." You breathe out, still holding onto your chest. Then there was a knock at the door, startling you. "Baby?" Eva's soft voice was heard. You don't respond, not trusting your voice. "Please let me in you're worrying me, beautiful." You hear the door knob, reluctantly going to open it. Moving a bit for her to come in. Shes on the floor with you in an instant. Considering she's been with you through many of these. "Hey hey, look at me ok." You couldn't as you're freaking out continues. "Baby.." Your eyes shut. "Can I touch you?" You just nod, shed always ask that just to make sure she wouldn't startle you.

Her hands come to your face, getting you to look at her. "Breathe angel breathe." Her eyes dart from yours, concern writen all over them. "You're ok, I'm here for you." "You are safe." You nod, understandingly. Slowly coming back. "I'm stupid Eva.. why am I like this." Her thumbs come to wipe your tears. "You are far from stupid my girl. For one you're tired. You've been driving all day, and you just feel things heavily. That's ok." Your head tilts slightly, taking in her words. "You're special, in the best way possible. And I love you so fucking much." She finishes, still having her hands on your face. "Im sorry." You apologize.

"Don't be, its ok. They're leaving now anyways." Your eyes widen. Was it because of- "And before that brain of yours tricks you. They were always going to leave at this time. I assure you." Her tone was steady and calm. Making your nerves ease again. "Do they think I'm weird?" Her head shakes side to side. "Crick, loved you. She said you were a breath of fresh air." The corners of your mouth move up, smiling as she says that. It only makes her smile too. "There she is." Her arms bring you into a tight hug. "My brain is stupid." You then say. She nods. "Incredibly." The smiles were still lingering. Just grateful to have someone like her. "Why don't we sleep this long day off?"

"Sounds, amazing."

[eeulysian]

hm enough smut for today, i kinda got tired of it.. sigh, maybe i ate too much. anyhoo, what do u feel about [insert charac] x shy!reader? ^_^ lllike imagine chRCter being all extrovert, party addict, and fun then there's this little lost zoul clinging on the charactwr's arm TT it's be such a cute relationship i swear.

idk what character that would be fit for this role...

reader being shy and possessive after the party (overthinks a lot as well.. im not romanticizing that btw) AKSJDHJEBDHEHEJWHEHU——

“you were talking to them the whole time, u shouldn't have brought me here with u.. they didn't need me there anyway,” tsk. tsk. character ends up cimforting and doing whatever reader wants becuz they neglected them wayy.. too much. (if this even makes sense, im half asleep writing this)🦈🦈🦈🦈 ermm.. im not requesting a fic btw! ur free to make it into one tho. :D

I LOVE THIS TROPE SOO MUCH. its one of my favourite tropes. its like, in terms of animal tropes, it would be golden retriever x black cat. the characters i have in mind for this areeee.... topaz, serval, bai yi, beidou, elysia and kafka. i think all of them would definitely be a perfect fit for this kind of trope. not a fic but just a little short imagine!!

forced to be invited to this rich kid's mansion party by college gf!(char) because she wants to taste the drinks there, eat the food and have fun with other people. you kept refusing at first, because your introverted ass cannot handle crowds. you'd look like a small, crying kitten in the midst of the crowd. you know you'd be pushed here and there, hearing crazy screams and shouting, with rave music in the background and you hated it. in the end, you gave in and was dragged to the mansion by (char). in there was so many people, chatting, laughing, having fun and dancing to the music. (char) saw a friend and ran after them, forgetting you were there with her. 30 minutes passed, you were standing in a corner, a little further from the crowd and you started getting anxious, wondering where she is and why she just left you like that. you decided to just swarm and squiggle into the crowd to find her, feeling your social battery get drained even more. and you spotted her talking with her friend, because her hair color just stood out alot. you ran after her and shyly hugged her from behind, trying to silently tell her that she forgot about you and that you're still here. she flinched a little, but knowing it was you, she gave you an apologetic smile and told her friend that you're her girlfriend in case they were confused.

"y/n, i'm sorry i accidentally left you behind. it wont happen again, i promise", she told you, but you still felt a little insecure that she just... left you like that for a friend. "no it's fine, maybe i shouldn't have been here anyways if i wasn't so important. i don't like parties anyways." you blurted out. she noticed you looked and even sounded sad from that tone, she knew she was going to have to make it up to you with hugs, kisses and snacks when you two get home tonight. she apologizes once again, and tells her friend that she'll be going home earlier to avert her attention more to you. she feels guilty, but she knows you meant no harm and you can't help feeling like that. but she just loves taking care of you and reassuring you anyways, no matter if you guys have huge differences, contrasts and are considered total opposites by others. they say opposites attracts anyways 🤭

[haveyouseenthisskeleton]

Could I have a main skellys + horrorfell react to a SO who is clumsy as hell?? Like its not a day without hearing a crash a few rooms over that after a second a yelling of "IM OKAY!"

Undertale Sans - He got scared the first few times, but after a while he's not even reacting lol. He's still waiting for the "I'm okay" to resume what he's doing though. It's fine. He's used to it.

Undertale Papyrus - He throws everything he's holding in his hands away to run to your rescue. Every time. He's relieved you're mostly not really hurt, but he will still scold you for not being careful enough.

Underswap Sans - He has a sixth sense now and somehow manages to catch you one time out of two before you fall. He's quite proud of his new superpower honestly. And ok, maybe he tried to make you trip once or twice to test if it's real but you don't need to know that.

Underswap Papyrus - He knows this struggle. He can't do anything to help you. He tried. But all he can do is run to you, trip on your body, and then fall on your back because his legs are too long and he can't control them properly. It's like a family curse now, all their kids will be clumsy as well. You created monsters.

Underfell Sans - He will scream an insult from somewhere in the house. Please stop doing that, you're giving him anxiety! He's tired of running in panic to see if you're not dead. Be careful! His soul can't take it anymore!

Underfell Papyrus - After the first few times where he panicked thinking you were getting murdered, Edge barely reacts anymore. He just sighs from wherever he is and stares at you until you stand back up.

Horrortale Sans - It's making him so anxious. Every time you fall, he's running and jumping in front of you, growling at the emptiness to protect you from whatever attacked you. He will attack the stairs, the pans, the water on the floor for revenge. Sometimes it gets a little silly, especially when he rolls on the floor to "kill" the water. He keeps forgetting you're clumsy, his instincts are talking for him.

Horrortale Papyrus - He screams every time he sees you fall, which scares you and makes you fall faster. He swears he tries to control it, but he can't help it. He's dramatic and it's scaring him. He's so going to lecture you about how to properly use your legs though.

Horrorfell Sans - He keeps trying to catch you before realizing... He has no arm... And falling with you because he did the gesture anyway and couldn't stop himself lol. He's usually grumpy all day after that and mumbling to himself, so mad.

Horrorfell Papyrus - You accidentally fell on him quite a few times, so now Chief rolls his wheelchair a few steps back and simply watches you fall flat on the floor with an unimpressed look. He can sometimes poke you with his wheelchair when you take too much time to stand up, just to make sure you're not dead or something.

Swapfell Sans - Most of the time, he catches you with his magic, but sometimes he gets annoyed and aggressively grabs your soul to yeet you in the couch so you stop hurting yourself already.

Swapfell Papyrus - He points you and does the "HA HA" sound from Nelson in the Simpsons. Yeah, if you're looking for any help from him, it's not going to happen. He thinks you're hilarious though and will make compilations of your falls on Youtube.

Fellswap Gold Sans - He gives you THE stare. The one that means "how the hell could humans survive this long when you're clearly all brain dead" kind of stare. You can feel him judging you deep in your soul. He won't move to help you though lol.

Fellswap Gold Papyrus - He runs to save you but somehow, he always makes things so much worse than what it need to be. Like that time you managed to stand up and he came running, tackled you and you both fell from the window... Thanks Coffee.

[secretlilsis]

She had been crying in her room for quite some time now. It made him anxious, she had not allowed him inside to comfort her. But he was pretty sure that was and had always been his job. To be the one that cheered her up, made her smile. And now she wasnt even letting him close to her. He didnt even get to ask what had upset her so much. But sitting in front of her closed room door, he could hear her sniffle and cry. Like a watchdog, he sat there. Waiting until she gave him permission to do what he was meant to do : make her smile, make her feel better. Suddenly she shouted to him, being pretty sure he was somewhere close "Big brother, are you still there?"

"Yes my dear, I am right here."

"Its fine you can come inside now."

He didnt need to be told twice, and was in her room within seconds. The way she hugged her legs, the sight of her puffy eyes, all that filled him with empathy and a genuine need to see her feel better.

"They .. theres this guy and he..."

Oh no. His muscles tensed. He already started to get angry, feeling protective of her.

"He.. He.. He basically sexually harassed me...... I dont know... I.. and no one was on my side. I..." She looked so distraught. His head was boiling over with hate. No one got to touch his little sister, esp not in a way she did not want or enjoy.

"What is his name? Maybe I should pay him a little visit." His voice was shaking with rage. Within seconds her small careful hurt words had managed to turn him upside down. She had never been the kind of girl to play coy and pretend she didnt share his rage, all of to often when someone had stepped out of line had she told her big brother and he had handled it for her, she had not once attempted to hold him back. Instead it seemed to give her a sense of joy, and a feeling of being utterly protected by him. He was glad she indulged him in that way.

"Before that though big brother... I want you to overwrite where he touched me. I mean it was only my ass and my hair but..." She looked at him through her puffy eyes and sadness, and suddenly there was a silent kind of yearning. Like she counted on big brothers touch to undo whatever that guy had caused her to feel.

He stepped closer to her, and before doing anything sexual, he simply held her very tightly and gently petted her head, stroking her long strands of hair and whispering into her "Its alright... Ill make you feel better.. Whatever you need. Im here for you. I love you."

She hid her face in his chest, but then slowly took his hand and put it on her breast "Make me forget this ever happened, okay?" She whispered, that same yearning in her voice all over again. She felt so fragile, yet there was something powerful in her voice, something determined.

"I hate that someone that isnt you touched me with that type of intention, youll just have to do me so much ill forget all about it.. And.. Ill delight in it when you go and hurt him for me.." Her voice sounded somewhat sinister, but he couldnt help but find that cute too.

He kissed her fragile looking lips, and she returned the kiss somberly. Soon her blouse came undone, and so did her skirt and she sat there in her underwear, looking at him, needing him, wanting him. All the way through this he held her tightly, not wanting to stop comforting her... When he started to touch her pussy, he angled her differently so he could still kind of wrap around her and hold her close. Her soft moans enveloped him, and he soon was in his own little world with her. She sounded gentle, loving and inviting and she was wet around his finger.

Like in a daze he slowly went to properly fuck her, her cunt ready and open for him. She accepted him without blinking, the only difference was that her nails now were digging into his back in a way they usually didnt, there was shaking anger and desperation behind it, like she wanted to claw herself inside him to proccess what had happened. Like shed pull him inside her violently if she had to, like shed never ever want to let go of him.

When they came, she looked a little peaceful again, like he had done as she asked, like she had overwritten the foul sensation.

As their bodies seperated she looked at him and gave him one last tongue kiss, spit splitting between their mouths - connecting them still, only ripping apart as she spoke "Tell me in full detail about what youve done to him, once youve gotten around it, okay, big brother?" There was that shaking rage in her voice again. He understood it all to well, he was sure, whatever anger she felt, he felt it tenfold.

[nichoswag]

hiii !! i love your writing so much omg🥲🥲 can I request a jo oneshot (f!reader) where the reader is at a convenience store and some older guy starts to prey on her (does that make sense ? 😭) and the reader doesn’t know what to do until she sees jo and asks him to pretend to be her bf or maybe she gives him hints that she’s in need of help. after the guy leaves maybe jo and the reader could exchange numbers or smth ? JDJDJD my english is so bad so idk if that even made sense im so sorry if it didnt 😭 also its totally okay if you’re not comfortable with writing this! im just in need of more jo oneshots (&team oneshots in general) they’ve been stuck in my head for so long 🥲

safe . asakura jo

pairing: stranger!jo x female reader

warnings: stalking, reader is being followed, creepy man, typical saved from a stalker scenario, jo is a total sweetheart, angst and fluff, petnames (babe, pretty)

song rec: young luv - stayc

a/n: sorry for the wait anon. and your english is perfectly fine, i understood it fully! i also feel you so much on the lack of &t content on this app! maybe i'll start doing fic recs to provide you guys with more works by other amazing authors i love!! also, this is a great request and i enjoyed writing it so much!!! enjoy ♡

it's a dark, cold night. the sun set around three hours ago, so it's getting to be pretty late into the night.

you walk down the street clutching your jacket closer to your body, shoulders pulled nearly up to your ears.

that's when you hear footsteps behind you.

the first thing that's odd about this is the fact that this is a route you take home often, and you've literally never run into anyone at this time of night due to the roads all being side streets.

as a normally anxious person, you think of what you've been taught to do in this situation- the most common trick. you take three right turns in a row, not getting lost since you know the roads well. however, even as you come back to where you first heard the footsteps behind you, you can still hear them, and they sound as if they're coming closer.

you panic at this point, speeding up until you're nearly running. the footsteps become faster and louder to match your pace.

you make a sharp turn into a convenience store, but the man follows you inside. noticing the cashier looks like a teen who would likely not be of much help, you settle for heading towards the tall guy in the back near the drinks.

as you get near him, you grab his sleeve, effectively startling him. "did you wait for a long time?" he looks extremely confused. you have to lean up on your toes as much as possible to get closer to his ear because he's so much taller than you. you do so and explain the situation in a whisper as the man walks into the aisle behind you.

he quickly looks concerned and holds your hand, seeming to realize he should play along. "i didn't wait long at all, pretty."

you smile up at him, eternally grateful. you think to yourself that you owe him severely if you ever meet again.

"do you want something to drink?" he asks, seeming to really get into the boyfriend role. still holding your hand tightly, he steps back and gestures to the fridge area for you to pick.

"you don't have to do that, babe," you say, blushing a bit.

"no, no, go ahead. you should really drink something," he insists. "you've been walking for a while, you must be thirsty."

you tilt your head, not sure if he's serious or just playing the role well. he nods his head. you pick out a drink you like and he takes it from your hand and picks out his own drink as well. he walks towards the front of the store still holding your hand.

he looks back at the man who was following you to find him already staring, but he doesn't make any move to come closer to the two of you.

after the nice guy checks out, you both walk out of the store.

"would you like me to walk you home?" he asks. "just to be safe."

you contemplate for a moment before nodding. "i live near here, so it's not that far of a walk. thank you so much for this- and the drink, too."

you both begin to walk in the direction of your house, still hand-in-hand.

"of course," he smiles sweetly. "i hate how careful ladies have to be walking around nowadays... it's crazy that something bad could happen to you even in your own neighborhood."

you huff. "tell me about it. i've only been followed like this a few times, but i hear it happens to a lot of girls my age."

he sighs. "it's ridiculous. oh, i'm jo, by the way."

you smile up at him. "i like that name. i'm ____."

"pretty name for a pretty girl," he cheeses.

you cringe, giggling. "thanks for the compliment, but that was so corny."

he laughs. "i know- i realized after i said it."

you talk and laugh the whole way home, up until you get to your house. you didn't even mean to let him walk you the whole way home, you would've stopped him at the start of your street, but you kind of lost track, being so distracted.

"well, this is it." you turn towards him, finally letting go of his hand. "again, thank you so much. i don't know what i would have done if you hadn't helped me."

he smiles shyly, his face flushed. "no problem. could i maybe get your number? you can text or call me next time something like this happens. i live just down the street, so i'll come running."

you blush, taking his phone to add yourself as a contact. "you're really cute. maybe we could just hang out sometime, no creepy man involved?"

he chuckles. "yeah- that'd be nice."

you say your goodbyes. he watches until you get to your door to make sure you make it inside okay before you see him leave through your window.

you blush as you think of the whole interaction again.

thank you, jo, you think. for making me feel safe.

©nichoswag | do not copy my work or repost onto any other platform.

[pixelyssa]

Bye I am acc desperate atp I need helpppp

Basically I go on holidays mid July and I just know the food will be so tempting (and I’m so scared of letting myself go) and my family will obvs notice if I don’t have anything but I also want to have a nice time 😭 what do I doooo??!!

And even if i eat small amounts of things I’ve no clue how many c@ls would be in them

I will be so so grateful for any tips or advice u have!! 💓

ily stay safe bb 🩵

hey! if i was in this situation i would just heavily r3strict for the week before. that way the vacation will be like a reward. ofc thats probably not good to advise you to do 😭

maybe instead of that, you can up your workouts and make sure all of ur meals/snacks are nutritional (get ur proteins and ur veggies) vs f00ds with just sugar and sodium. and that can help u have the energy to up ur workouts too.

u said you might “let urself go” no honey, its not a choice… its brain chemistry. if ur thinking about the f00d ur gonna be having over a month from now… youre in deep. you won’t “let yourself go”. youll be anxious either way. youre not gonns get used to e@ting normal and then just stick with it, even if h do youll slowly become obsessed with ur image again soon and go back to ur ways.. thats the fuck of it all… might as well ENJOY ur vacay.

it would rlly suck to go in vacation and be trying to guess the c4lories in everything, and ordering what u think is the lightest option. you should e@t what you want.

you can still r3strict certain f00d groups. if i was going on vacay with my family theyd buy snacks for the hotel or wherever we’d be staying. i would avoid those, bc i would normally avoid them at home.

going out to restaurants id do the same thing i do at home when i go to restaurants, order something that sounds good so i can enjoy myself, whether its a salad or a big mf burger lol. and i eat till im full. (if u dont have that sense, leaving 1/2 or 1/4 of the meal on the plate is a good measurement.)

if theres an appetizer, i have maybe a bite of each one and say im saving room for dinner, (my family and friends know i get full easily) & same goes with dessert. if it looks rlly good ill have a bite, but since i ordered what i WANTED for dinner, im satisfied before a dessert comes out and i play it off that im full.

i would probably figure out what we’re doing for food and decide what is most worth it to me and save my c4ls for that.

id also make a list of things i wanna enjoy. for example: my trip to nyc i wanted to try

-new york pizza

-a pastry and latte from the cafe next to my hotel

-a martini

-something fried from a food truck

-any non american food restaurant (italian, french, idk)

-a croissant from this popular cafe in times square

and i just kinda rationed it out. i remember my bf wanted to go for a walk, i new we’d pass the bakery, so i pointed it out and indulged there. got a matcha tea and a macaroon & then played off being full until dinner and chose something light (i think i made us get sushi that night which is pretty low in c4l) another day, we took the metro to soho and we walked around ALL day, so by the time we got back to the hotel it was late. we ordered the pizza i wanted to try… and i didnt care bc i had 20k steps done. i was still able to have everything i wanted the whole time, i just r3strictied the things that werent on my list.

idk what kind of vacation ur going on but a lot of them call for lots of walking, so thats a plus. you will not g4in that much. thats why i said id go crazy a week before, so that i dont feel like im g4ining it just feels like its fluctuating normally.

either way if u let urself enjoy it atleast ur metabolism will get faster! (im toxic) lol metab week(s?) ❕

me and my bf are planning a 2 week trip to europe. 2 weeks before we go i would push myself to burn way more c4l than normal. and i wouldn’t w3igh myself in that time. in 2 weeks i could lose like 4Ibs and not even know, that way when i get back from vacation and ive g4ined 3Ibs i wouldnt even notice. then life goes back to normal!

i hope that makes sense, and i hope its not too much. i really hope u enjoy ur vacation & can allow urself to enjoy a few of the f00ds wherever ur going. 🩷

[xythlia]

𓏲 ࣪₊ ᴍɪꜱᴄᴏɴᴅᴜᴄᴛ

♡⃕ ࣪ nsfw content. minors do not interact, dark content ⸝⸝ fem reader, teacher/student, power imbalance, humiliation, oral (m receiving), abuse of power, swallowing, face fucking, masturbation

♡⃕ ࣪ word count : 1k+

a/n | i feel like i haven't written anything in a long time but since it's my birthday + luci's i feel inspired, im sorry i was in my dryspell era >.< this might be a lil rusty but hope you like it

feedback ⸝⸝ rbs are appreciated ♡

The tip of your nail swipes back and forth across your bottom lip. This last exam had been bad, beyond bad truly it crossed into breakdown territory the second he handed it to you face down. Only you. Shame had run hot beneath your skin, eyes scanning the page that looked so doused in red corrective ink it may as well have been used to mop up blood.

This would absolutely tank your average if you couldn't find a way to fix it, so you found yourself seated anxiously outside Lucifer's office, leg bouncing and trying not to cry before you even sat across from him.

Your bag almost goes flying from your lap, nearly vomiting its contents as you shoot up the moment that heavy oaken door swings open. He doesn't even get a word out before you're sweeping inside, shaking his head as he clicks the door shut and you feel fresh anxiety knowing he's sizing you up.

"Please there has to be some way to fix-"

"Save it," he says flatly. "That exam was a mess, did you even attempt to skim the text?"

You can feel yourself sweating, skin prickling as you try to keep your voice level and not betray the fact that your heart was beating out of your chest.

"I did read it, is there any way I could retake the exam? I know my grades in that class aren't the best but I do make an effort." Thankfully you at least sounded less anxious than you felt.

"I told everyone at the very beginning I don't allow retakes," his eyes flicked between yours and your lips. "Although maybe if you begged, convincingly, I'd reconsider."

For the first time your out of control train of thought was stuck, sputtering that he couldn't be asking for you think he's asking for, right? Your hands shook, steeling yourself.

"Please, Lucifer-"

He cuts you off with a tsk, making you wince. "Low effort."

After a beat it dawned on you what he was truly asking for. It felt scummy, lifting your sweatshirt off slowly, but at the same time an odd thrill fluttered in your gut as you felt his eyes burning into you. With shaky breaths you stood, undoing your bra as gooseflesh rose on your arms when the chilly office air brushed over your bare chest.

You made your way unsteadily in front of him, still seated behind the desk with a bemused smirk resting on his face. A stark contrast from how his crimson eyes devoured you. Gingerly you sank to your knees in front of him, trembling hands sliding along his thighs as you glanced up through your lashes. He stared down at you in such a distinct way you couldn't help but feel like you were lesser.

Strangely, it excited you.

"Make me believe you deserve that retake."

A shiver crawled down your spine as you watched him undo his trousers, tugging his cock out of his briefs and all you could do was watch with a sudden and unfamiliar lust working through your brain. Seeing the flushed tip beaded with precum had you overwhelmed by thoughts of what it would feel like to have him sinking deep inside you.

You whimpered as he guided your hand to wrap gently around his girth, feeling dizzy as precum smeared against your lips but the satisfied groan he let out as your lips parted for him and your tongue moved against the underside of his cock went straight to your cunt.

Lewd sounds quickly filled the office, only serving to make you wetter. When his hand came to thread through your hair it was surprisingly gentle, making you squirm and accidentally let his cock hit the back of your throat. A sound that could only be described as pornographic dripped from his lips, spurring you on as spit slid down your chin and neck with every bob of your head and twist of your hand.

"Drop your hands," he rasped.

Your eyes watered as his grip on your hair became firmer, hips pushing his thick cock further inside your mouth against your muffled gagging, nose resting against his pubic hair. Forgetting yourself you shifted on your knees, spit sticky hands fondling his balls and letting every moan go straight to your head. It was dizzying and quickly you'd forgotten all about the humiliation that led you here, the only thing anchoring you was the pulsing of your cunt.

One hand stayed against his thigh to keep your balance as he used your mouth all on his own, but you couldn't take it anymore. Your fingers deftly slipped past your waistband to stroke at your clit, which set him off on a stronger pace that left you barely able to see him through the tears crowding your vision.

The vibration from your gags and moans were sending him over the edge, evidenced by how recklessly he pushed to hit as deep as possible in your throat. Your thighs were screaming, muscles beyond sore from both supporting your position and with how tightly you clenched while rubbing rhythmic circles around your neglected clit.

As your own orgasm crested he gave a series of particularly mean thrusts, making you snort through the tears and spit before thick, salty cum filled your mouth. It was a superhuman effort to swallow around him, and as you pulled back you heaved for air, noticing the glimmering string of mixed cum and spit connecting your lips to his swollen tip before licking your lips to break it.

As he sat back against the chair fully again, you felt the mess of fluids clinging to your skin. Blinking away the leftover tears you saw him repositioning and collecting himself before resuming whatever papers he'd been working on before you got here.

It made you feel ashamed all over again, stained with cum, spit, and tears gasping like you'd just been pulled from an icy river and tossed on the office floor. Sniffling you rose, with difficulty thanks to your sore thighs and bruised knees. He never looked up as you pulled your sweatshirt back on, wiped your face on the sleeves as best you could, and hurriedly stuffing your bra into your bag.

In the rush to leave, to run back to your room, you'd forgotten why you even came in the first place before his voice halted your frantic movements.

"I don't have time to proctor a retake, check later you'll see an updated score in your course work." It was so blasé you could almost believe you'd just had a normal conversation in his office rather than being face fucked.

The door creaked as you slipped out, biting your lip and wondering if maybe you should let the next exam slip too. Maybe you could do something else to earn that extra credit...

[venusbby]

LOVE!! I SAW YOUR JHUMKA RIN DRABBLE AND OMG IM IN LOVE!! WE NEED MORE SOUTH ASAIN REP, PLEASE YOU’RE SO GOOD AT IT.

How about the blue lock boys seeing you in a saree or lengha for the first time?? Like all dolled up and shit ❤️‍🔥

➝ characters ♡ // itoshi sae, itoshi rin, mikage reo x desi!fem!reader (seperate ofc)

➝ warnings: kinda suggestive for sae's part (makeout session). rin makes reader sit on his lap, reo is a whole tease who's probably watched a bollywood movie and written some things down right before this happens.

note: THANKYOU SM for this 😕 this is actually kinda bad i think but idk ahdhsjndjd have it (cries) also im sorry if there's any typos im too tired to proofread it </3

ITOSHI SAE ｡⁠.ﾟ+ ?¿

he can't even comprehend it at first

lowkey going insane

extra touchy because wtf why are u so hot ? why do u look so good in every single traditional thing u wear ?

good lord. this man is whipped for you im sorry but he's going feral

standing in the living room while you're walking over to him in that red saree, the sound of your heels against the floor and the way your bangles shimmer around your wrists as you adjust your pleats, he feels his entire body almost lose its balance.

with the way your body moves with so much confidence in your traditional clothes, he doesn't understand why you're frowning with an anxious edge to your voice as you speak, his eyes fixed on your subtle pout. "is this too much? be honest."

too much? be honest?

sae was dying to be honest— to tell you just how much you're driving him crazy and it hasn't even been a minute since you came out of the bedroom, but it would lead to something that would make you miss your dinner with your friends and make your efforts to put on that beautiful saree go to waste because he was already dreaming of having himself completely stained with that same red on your lips.

"you look just fine."

really? just fine? you looked more than just fine. he wasn't fine.

your eyes still twinkle with that uncertainty and he slowly takes a step further until his slightly shaky hands can finally hold your hips. his eyes keep on darting from your eyes to your lips and it's making your cheeks flush with heat. "i just don't know, it's been so long since i wore a saree and—"

"stop. kiss me."

"what?"

he takes a deep breath. "kiss me, right now."

your lips curve into a shy smile then as you stare at him with that look. that look. your cherry red lips. he can't handle it anymore. his arm desperately reaches around you until he's pressed against your front with that same red all over his mouth as you share the heated kiss he'd wanted ever since he saw you minutes ago. he feels hot everywhere. this isn't good.

but it's so good.

he knows you're running late for your dinner— but he doesn't care. he doesn't want to care. his fingers trace circles over the soft skin of your waist, and he's not sure how to pick you up when you're in a saree so he settles on just gently pushing you against the closest wall as you stumble just a bit in your heels and let him kiss you with all that he has. the sound of your bangles rings right next to his ears as you tug at his hair and gasp at the way his fingers caress your bare sides.

"you look absolutely stunning," he whispers against your lips breathlessly when he stops kissing you. his forehead presses against yours, your thumb slowly reaching lower to rub the red shade away from his mouth as you breathe heavily and giggle— but it's of no use because he's going to kiss you again anyway. "and i want you all to myself right now. so call your friends and tell them to wait, yeah?"

ITOSHI RIN ｡⁠.ﾟ⁠+ ?!

his brain short circuits tbh

he won't stop staring and drooling (internally)

please fix this boy with a kiss or two or maybe just tease him further who cares he's at your mercy now

"you never told me you had a saree."

"ah, i forgot about it too! do you remember my cousin who visited from home a few months ago?" you speak softly as you grab another safety pin from your little box and hold it casually between your teeth, adjusting the pallu over your shoulder so it's just right as you stare in the mirror. "she gifted me this."

you feel his eyes burn into your back as you attentively pin the layers of material over your shoulder so that your pallu stays in place throughout the night. you frown a bit, glancing back at where he's sitting on the edge of the bed. "are you okay?"

he blinks twice and notices he's been biting his lip the whole time. "yes."

you nod, humming as you continue to do some touch ups. it had been a while since you wore a saree, so its not too surprising that you're not used to handling it too well. it's why you've pinned the material at most places so you don't have to take care of it too much, thanks to the tips you remember from back home.

and just once you're finished, you finally turn around with a satisfied sigh, grinning as you give him a pose, your right hand resting on your waist as you let your pallu drape over your left arm. "i'm finally done. god, it's been such a long time since i wore a saree. does it look okay?"

he blinks again, mouth opening and closing as he tries to find the right word. his gaze doesn't shift away from you. the material of your light colored saree is quite transparent, he notices. he wishes instantly that he didn't notice because it makes him feel even more attracted to you— and it suddenly gets really difficult to keep his hands to himself. he clutches the sheets under him as you walk over.

beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, the word echoes in his mind.

but he can't say it for some reason. his face feels hotter when you come and stand in front of him, and it's so hard to tear his eyes away from your visible stomach but he still does it anyway, turquoise eyes staring up at you as you raise an eyebrow at him expectantly. it's not like it's a new thing to him to see your stomach— crop tops existed. but seeing you in something that plays a role in your culture, and seeing you look absolutely breathtaking in it almost makes your boyfriend melt.

"you look beautiful." he manages to speak, still too afraid to touch you as if this saree just made you so much more valuable. so much more delicate. so much more powerful too, because he doubts he can handle any more of your beauty if he keeps staring.

you chuckle at his state, before leaning down to kiss his forehead. it's when he takes the chance and pulls you down to sit sideways on his lap, face still a little flushed, but a glint of adoration in his eyes as he pecks your cheek in return softly, his hand snaking around from behind you completely, slipping under your pallu as his warm palm gently rests on your stomach, making butterflies erupt throughout you as you lean closer to him.

"baby, you know i have to go." you grin as you talk just above a whisper, index finger tracing his lips slowly. rin knew just the right way to tempt you.

"i know." he says, but his tone is enough to tell you he clearly doesn't care.

"rin." you say in a slightly stern tone. however, the smile on your face doesn't leave.

but after you say his name like that, he's kissing your lips already, tasting the sweet and expensive lipstick on you as he holds you flush against him. his other hand carefully pushes your loose strands of hair behind your ear as he slowly holds your chin right after, mumbling quietly in the middle of his gentle kiss, "five more minutes, pretty. you look too good like this for me to let you go so soon."

MIKAGE REO ｡⁠.ﾟ⁠+

he's gonna wife you up right there

gets you an expensive lehnga from india for your friend's desi wedding

how did he get a connection there? who fucking knows. all that matters is that his woman gets to look gorgeous in her traditional clothes

purposely making you cringe is his new favourite thing

"i knew that color would look good on you." he says as he opens the car door for you, a low whistle following as you step out carefully with your hand tight in his.

"i still can't believe this, reo." you shake your head as you start walking to the entrance of the restaurant, his hand now on your lower back as he quickly nods back at the driver and guides you forward— your lips twitching in a pathetic attempt to hold back a smile when you feel several eyes on you already.

"anything for you, i've told you this a hundred times, baby."

"yeah, but a lehnga? and this expensive?" you chuckle, looking at him as if he'd grown three heads as you both continue to walk. "where did that thought even come from?"

"your cousin once sent me a picture of you wearing one from a few years ago. i'm gonna be honest, you looked really sexy." he shrugs, earning a light slap to his shoulder as he starts to laugh. "and i thought, why not?"

you can't help but feel warmth rising up your cheeks, and you're so glad your cheeks aren't red. you look down as you walk, to make sure you aren't stepping on your long skirt as you hold it up just a little.

he notices that and the smirk on his face makes you feel too much at once.

"want me to carry you? like they do in—"

"baby, please don't." you shake your head as you laugh, walking faster once you see your friends standing right at the entrance of the big venue, leaving him behind in an attempt to hide your embarrassment and your flustered face.

but you don't make it that far and soon you feel his hand around your wrist. your eyes widen as you gasp and get pulled behind in one swift movement, your heavy outfit making you sway without balance and you instantly rest your other hand on his chest to make sure you don't crash into him when he pulls you in. he wraps his arm around your waist to keep you close, smiling innocently as you glare.

"i think this is where they start playing the lovey-dovey background music now. should we kiss?"

you can't stop yourself and you rest your forehead on his shoulder as you laugh loudly. "you're insane."

"insane for you." he winks, puckering his lips lightly as you continue to laugh from cringing so much. he was obviously playing around to tease you, and it was working.

however, you finally give in after a few moments as you press your lips on his in a sweet, chaste kiss— your face warm when reo's hand squeezes your side and his fingers trace over your curves ever so lightly, making goosebumps rise on your skin.

once you pull away, you notice he's more sincere now as he whispers softly, eyes not leaving yours. "you look amazing, y/n. from head to toe, everything about you tonight is even more breathtaking."

now that he's less playful, it means much more to you than it did before. "thank you." you whisper back, the gentle smile on your face changing into a smirk as you suddenly pull him closer by the collar of his suit so that he's resting his forehead against yours. his breath hitches just a bit when you look at him like that. your shimmering lehnga is mesmerizing enough— but your eyes have his knees going weak as he lets out a soft breath and his lips capture yours again.

your hands go up to his shoulders to squeeze as he now uses both of his arms to strongly hold you close to him and he tugs at your bottom lip gently. a few seconds pass and you hear your friends laugh from a distance, your eyebrows furrowing in confusion as you still continue the kiss but then it starts; the lovey-dovey background music from the inside of the open venue, which makes reo let out an amused huff of air as he picks you up and spins you around, keeping the kiss going until you're both breathless and dizzy.

[muav99]

Short Drabble- felix x reader (Smut, dirty talk, phone sex, male m, edging, bf felix)

“I’ll help you sleep” 💤 💋

12am. Open your eyes, close them again. Then once more. Nothing…

2am. You check your phone and groan, how could it have gotten this late? You stuff your face in your pillow

3am. Insomnia has hit an all time high. You roll over to your left side and reach for your phone…..3:00am?! UGH

Oh…

*missed call from felix 4 hours ago

OH NO! It can’t hurt to call now can it?

You press the call button

*ring*

It rings for awhile but then!!

“Hi baby” he says

“Hey baby” you respond relieved just by the sound of his voice

“Why so late?” He questions softly

“I just can’t sleep is all…..my insomnia is acting up”

“Im sorry baby, if you want i’ll help you sleep” he says softly

“How?” You ask innocently genuinely curious what he’ll do…..maybe a song or…..

“Felix?” The phone’s been on mute awhile you think

“*sigh yes baby, Im here” he breathes out shakily

“Felix are you okay?” You ask curious about whats up with him all of a sudden

“No princess I’m not okay, cause your not here”

“I wish you were here so I could touch you”

Oh. So he’s

“Princess I need you to do something for me” he breathes out panting at this point

Lewd sounds fill your ears from his side of the screen. He’s no longer trying to hide it

“Okay felix” you say trying to keep your thoughts as stable as possible

“Just keep quiet and listen to me”

You gulp anxious about how you’ll do considering these terms

“Okay y/n, uuuhhhm” he moans and trys to clear his throat to speak

“Princess you have to sleep, if you don’t sleep when I see you tomorrow you won’t get any of this”

“I wont touch you, i wont slowly stroke my fingers up your thighs moving closer and closer..”

“If you don’t sleep, I won’t show you exactly what I want to do to you. I’ll tease you baby. To no end”

You clench your thighs together and try to suppress a whimper

“I wont hit that spot you like and I wont make you scream”

“I wont make you scream so loud the boys hear it across the apartment. I wont bend you over and treat you like the slut you are”

“I wont kiss and suck on your neck, i wont put marks all over you ”

“I wont give you what you want y/n”

“So you sleep princess because I’m coming home tomorrow and its……………..your…………uhhhmmm…….decision” he groans out finishing himself off

“Ffff….felix I…” you sputter

“Be a good girl and sleep hm? I do love you y/n and I hope I wasn’t too mean to you. Goodnight my love” he says blowing you a kiss through the phone

“I love you” you croak out still shocked

The phone hangs up. Its 3:30am. Your body is shaking head to toe. You could fix it yourself but. But you like this new side of Felix…..and you need to sleep to see what tomorrow brings.

He’s quite persuasive

@imastraykidsfan 🫶 tagged u babes

[papercutsunset]

Right As Rain

FFF 261: Maybe One More

This is a piece for @flashfictionfridayofficial, clocking in at 1000 words. I'd say more but it's 2:16 AM, I'm worn out from crying and chlorine, and I have to pee very badly, so I shan't.

There could be content warnings for this one; there's some mentions of vomiting and some depictions of internalized aphobia in here. (Jeanette has issues with both. She's an anxious little wreck. I'll fix her someday, when she's not Schrodinger's superhero.) (I've been on a superhero kick. I started one for last week's prompt, just to complete it, but you know im not going to finish it.)

“Why can't I come over?” Simon whines through the speaker. 

“I already told you,” Jeannette laughs. She cradles the phone against her shoulder, clumsily putting the fastener by her mask’s bridge mound back in place with chipped tweezers. “It's not a good time.” 

“Why not?” 

“It's just not! I don't feel well, my room's a wreck, my dad is pissed at me—” 

If her life were a movie, Jeanette likes to think it would make some crisp cinematography choices. The twinging 1960s pop slipping out of the whirring CD player on her desk’s corner would kick up into an indie pop inferno and there would be a series of small cuts away from its coyly-placed view of a normal teenage girl tending to her abnormal hobby. When she said she doesn't feel well, the camera would cut to Omega Satyr kicking her in the kidney ten minutes ago; at the state of her room, maybe there would be a small clip of her stumbling in through the window, trying to get her dumb boots off, and leaving pieces of Jawbone all around her already-messy room like a gas mask can be dirty laundry; and when she mentions that her dad’s upset, it would cut to an imposing man in voluminous black robes pointing angrily into the depths of the sewers she accidentally got them lost in today.  

In the spirit of cinema, she holds up a tooth on her desk. Hers.

Does she feel at all? Pain, sure, but… Does she feel anything for Simon in the way she's supposed to? Does she feel anything other than disappointment when she tries?  “Mostly, though, I just don't feel well.” 

“Boo. You suck.” 

“I don't deserve this slander, Simon. And I think I'm going to throw up again.”  None of it's serious. That's why it's so easy to talk to him; that's why it's so easy to keep this going. 

“I-swear-to-god, that's not a stomach bug.” 

“And you still love me,” she reminds him. Her stomach twists at the thought. She isn’t sure why. 

“Yeah,” he says, after a moment. “I love you, Jeanette.” 

“I love you, too. Goodnight, Simon. Have fun watching Back to the Future again. Without me.” 

“Sleep well. Don’t stay up too late listening to that shitty Sheila Guthrie album.” 

“Hey! Sheila Guthrie is amazing.” 

“Who the fuck is Sheila Guthrie? Nobody’s heard of her.” 

“You’ve heard of her.” 

“Yeah,” he reminds her, as always, “because I’m dating you.” 

“Well, she’s good. For that matter, so is—” 

“And so is whatever else you want to tell me tomorrow, Jenny.” There’s a laugh in his voice. “Don’t forget, paper’s sending us out to the shoreline? To look at the plant? Just us interns?” 

“How lucky am I?” She wonders why it feels like an act. “I get to work at Crust Lust and I intern with my boyfriend and—” 

“And I’m hanging up on you because I love you too much to let this continue. I know you.” 

“Please cut me off,” she breathes. “Shit, Simon.” 

“Goodnight,” he laughs. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

“Sweet dreams.” 

With the swift, sudden sound of the disconnect, he’s gone. All she has left is her mess of a room; her mess of a life; and the refrain on the CD whirring: is he lonelier than me? 

If she listens to love songs, she can push through what she’s supposed to be doing. This is normal. This is what everyone wants. More than that, this is what she wants. She wants the swell of music as she swoops in, tumbling down his fire escape in the rain; she wants the lights to soften in the background of the shot; she wants the cacophony of the passing cars to fade away and the shimmer of a leitmotif as she takes his face gently and kisses him, telling him without words, this is me. Please see me as I am. Please see every part of me and love me anyway. And in turn, he kisses her harder, there in the rain, his gel melting and her curls flattened, in a moment where Simon Brown doesn’t care, for once, about how things look— I see you as plainly as you see me. 

Life isn’t condensed into a tight hour-and-a-half. Jeanette isn’t the friendly neighborhood superhero with bumbling charisma and useful powers. She’s a costume designer’s daughter. Her alter ego is most well-known for property damage and throwing rodents at a politician.  

With her mask fixed again, her weary, terrified face reflects in the hard green eyepiece. She can try to tell herself it isn’t true, but she knows. Behind the bravado and the tights, there is one central truth. The one thing she wants, she can’t have. 

So why does she keep pretending? How is it fair to him? If she knows she doesn’t love Simon— that she's incapable of falling in love ever— why does she keep saying she loves him? Why does she keep kissing him? Why does she keep listening to love songs and thinking that it’ll make her life align with their ethos? 

It’s the kind of thought that makes her stomach churn a little too much. She keeps it down this time. With the taste of bile in the back of her throat, Jeanette breathes deep and switches off the radio. After a gall-building second, she zips up her coveralls. She pulls her boots back on and fastens the buckles. She sweeps on her jacket; she adjusts the hood’s horns; and, after leaving a note for her father, she steps up onto her desk. 

She needs to help this city. That’s what her mother always says. If you’re out of your mind with worry, go help someone else for a while. Maybe she’ll forget it later, but she’s sure as shit not forgetting it now. 

There’s a lattice to climb down. There’s a world to save. If she tells herself the same thing enough times, it’s going to be right as rain. 

[nothing0fnothing]

when i post things about narc abuse on my blog i occasionally get ppl being like "don't classify all ppl with npd as abusers!!!" when i didn't say that? tbh on the whole "is narc abuse ableist" thing i defer to my best friend's wisdom, he recently graduated with a BA in psychology (im so proud!!!) and he said smth to the effect of "if you're trying to diagnose them with npd to demonize them then yeah not good but also narcissistic is a word independent of that diagnosis so context is important" its like how ppl without depression can still say theyre depressed or someone without anxiety can say theyre anxious yknow? context matters! i call my parents narc abusers bc it "fits the bill" as in from the medical studies ive read from professionals, all this criteria fits their behavior, not bc i actually believe they have npd. their actions are narcissistic but actually having npd is a question i can't answer.

the point being: im sure you get a lot more comments like that on your blog than my own. the few i get make me upset for a while bc it feels so invalidating (or maybe im just chronically online lmao.) how do you deal with it all? i'm sure the answer is just "block" but does it go deeper? it must feel awful to be called ableist when all you've done is try to spread awareness about a very real thing that happened to you. i could use some of your strength bc your blog is still going strong even amidst the hate 🙏

This ask was actually so lovely to read. You're eloquent and educated and if you'd like to dm me please do any time I'd love to chat with you and check out your blog.

You're absolutely right about narcissism and NPD. Narcissism is a personality trait. One that most healthy people posses. You can't diagnose someone a narcissist, because "narcissist" isn't a disorder.

There's a misconception that NPD is the clinical diagnosis for excessive narcissism. Actually, the diagnostic criteria for NPD is very clear that one does not even have to have narcissistic traits to be diagnosed with it. And it has nothing to say about abusing others, so how recognising abuse is considered a drive by diagnosis of NPD is beyond me.

Saying your abuser is narcissistic doesn't mean you think your abuser has this specific disorder. We know this so to us it's common sense. Unfortunately common sense isn't so common, especially in the narcissistic positivity side of this app.

It's so easy to feel provoked when you know all this, and you're educated and you just want to make content that will connect you to a community of other survivors. Only for some asshole who barely knows what NPD is, decides they're going to make your trauma all about it. It's not chronically online to be made upset by behaviour like that. People like to tell us the Internet isn't real, but when it's our connection to communities of people who share our niche experiences, it is real. Don't undermine yourself when you feel upset like that. Words can hurt anyone, even when they come from an ignorant low life who thinks they can clean up the internet, one trauma support blog at a time.

Me personally? I like to wait to hit the block button till after I've goaded them into an absolute breakdown. It entertains me to no end to watch them rage like toddlers as they start to realise they know next to nothing on a topic I've absolutely schooled them in. It sounds cruel but I have no sympathy for arseholes, especially when they're intentionally spamming random accusations and slurs on my vent posts in hopes they can get a rise out of a vulnerable person. I might make a "narcissists rage at facts and logic" compilation for my own amusement... But that's not really helpful advice to anyone who isn't a bitter hag, like me.

When I first started on this platform I kept my most common response paragraphs in my notes and clipboard to paste and post when I got the same asks day in and day out. It really helped me to reply in a measured way I knew was proof read and edited without having to exert the mental energy it takes to type out a whole reply every time you get one. This of course is if you're so inclined to engage with them.

I also have a limit for how long I'll engage. Usually my rule is I stop responding when they stop asking questions, because my blog is here to be supportive, not to receive criticism from the pro narcissist community. When they stop being coherent and and start being belligerent, that's when will always I block them and that's usually the end of it.

I did have one guy who I'd blocked on 3 or 4 seperate accounts for being belligerent. He was making new accounts every time to spam my asks and reblogs with increasingly ridiculous, heinous and obviously ragebaity shit. I just reposted his replies onto reddit where the crowd is, let's say, more critical of behavior like that. He had an epic meltdown and I've never seen his username ever again. If you're not comfortable doing that, let me know and I'll do it for you. You'd be doing me a favour because I'm a little shit and I love to watch the fireworks.

My last bit of advice to you is to make mutuals and make them friends. I struggle with being sociable in any consistent way, but a few messages back and forth to foster a good relationship with the community is so helpful. It makes your blog feel like an actual supportive environment. It puts your content across the dashboards of more sympathetic people and less losers thanks to the algorithm. Most importantly, when you have friends on this app they're more likely to back you up when an absolute cretin who snuck onto earth decides to pick on you for no reason. Having that back up is invaluable to blogs like ours and it's so important to have it when you're just starting out, especially if you're already getting the narc apologists in your notifs.

That being said, I genuinely do hope you reach out to me. I'd love to be able to send you some more of my strength when you need it. 💛🤎💛

[kindred-spirit-93]

*succinct & eloquent opening line. maybe a clever joke or quote* :D

do you ever sit there and contemplate your life choices after like a certain experience or a talk with a loved one?

do you ever come across a quote or a piece that seems like it was written for you in this particular moment in time? an anecdote that mirrors your current situation perhaps?

well im currently going through it & after a double whammy of mama lore TM during some resurfacing anxious & assorted crises, i dont even know what im going through anymore. but we shared a really sweet heart to heart and reminisced over good and less good times aw!

i am reminded that there is still much to life, light to be sought and found, good times yet to be had. its bittersweet. its mature. its scary? its like coming to terms with your mortality but on a smaller scale. or bigger whos to say...

i wont be venting anything, i think for now at least im content to vague post lmao. also my dad bought me some stress eating treats so i might need to go wallow in my feels for a bit

after i jinxed myself by saying im going on hiatus but failing to stay off the website lol (i had moot withdrawl symptoms sue me), i wont be repeating the same mistake, but with context clues i trust u can see where im going with this

it might sound presumptious to state so confidently that this next month of my life will be the hardest in my career, especially since im not even half way there yet, but the truth of the matter is that it is.

ive been struggling for well over a year now (mostly academically) and im both succeeding in places i didnt before (alhamdulillah!) but failing in the exact same places elsewhere. guys i may have anxiety lol

self fulfilling prophecies, nocebo effect, whatever it is & regardless of what you want to call it, its rough. its hard. im tired. theres still so much left and im tired. i shouldnt be this tired. or this empty. or careless. what have i let myself become? why am i punishing myself still?

this coming month will dictate the rest of my future and ill have no one to blame but myself if i let the opportunity slip through my fingers. but if all goes well inshallah i can put this all behind me and start anew so theres that silver lining :D

i kinda lost direction of this post about half an hour ago lol. my point is im going to try harder at balancing several life aspects bc i really cant put it off any more. i need to establish balance because ive been out of the loop for too long now. *shudders in python*

anyways there are plenty of things i have to work on, both in my studies and life, so i have that going for me *party kazoo noises*

id love to grace you all with some wise words or a life lesson or something but i dont have a neat one liner to sum up anything. despite that im writing this because sometimes letting thoughts float in my head isnt enough, i need to articulate and write it out because to let them roam in the vast expanses of my mind under the pretense that i achieved something is frankly silly as it is counterproductive.

a n y w a y , to anyone and everyone reading take care of yourselves and your loved ones. i wish everyone the best in life and in their endeavours. i will probably pop back in every now and again to catch up on messages and make sure everyone is alive and nothing burned down. i will however attempt to exert self control. (key word: attempt)

aight imma head out before i get too emotional or combust with the need to say something stupid like i love you be more unserious XD

[thrashkink-coven]

hii!! im so so sorry if this is considered a weird question and by all means you can delete this/ect, but i wanted to ask: how do you know when your deity loves you? i know it may sound stupid and/or weird but i genuinely have so many issues trusting it.. my deity is very loving to me, hes never been mean to me, ignored me, or anything! and hes so understanding and stuff about everything i tell him, hes really the best deity i couldve asked for. but for some reason i still cant feel loved all the time/all the way. it may have something to do with the fact im aroace, havent done much (hardly any at all really) shadow work, the trauma, or something in between or even all of the above, but i want to trust it, i want to trust him. but the feeling comes rarely then fades almost as soon as i get it. i dont know if its a thing of maybe its because im in the closet about my practices due to it being unsafe to do it openly, or because me and my deity have only worked together for maybe a month or around 6-4 weeks, and i still need the time to feel associated with him & his energy, im unsure and its a little scary/invalidating :( i see so many other witches be so absolutely happy and set in stone with their love for their deities and the deities love for them, but i just cant? i really really know i love my deity and stuff, but, its all just so confusing and sad/aggravating. anyway, thank you for your time <33

(im sorry for the enormous dump haha)

Hi,

Thanks for asking!

Our relationship with our deities are very different to our relationships with humans in many ways, but in some ways they are also extremely similar. Maybe you’ve never been in a romantic relationship, but oftentimes even when we are with the person that we love and we’re 100% confident that they love us back with all their heart, we can still become nervous and wonder if our relationships are legitimate or “real”. This is something that can occur with any kind of relationship. It may have absolutely nothing to do with the actions of the other party and more to do with how we view ourselves. If we don’t think we are worthy to be in their presence we will often unfairly assume their negative opinion of us- even if they have done nothing to indicate that. It’s important to consider what circumstances in your life might have lead you to feel this way, chances are it has nothing to do with them.

In the context of Gods, they are funnily enough, without bodies. Which means that they can’t always be present in extremely obvious ways. You may find yourself getting anxious if a partner or friend doesn’t reach out for a few days, but that doesn’t at all mean that your friend or partner didn’t think about you at all during that time. There is this very common misconception in spiritual circles that devotees interact directly with their Gods every single day, that we can feel their influence at all times and that they are always super close to us- and that’s just not true.

In the case of Lucifer, I reach out to him at least once a day in some way, but I don’t always feel his overwhelming warmth and light all the time. In fact, sometimes I don’t feel anything and that’s just fine. My devotion is partially a gift to him but also a gift to myself, I don’t just do this so he’ll pop up and do a little dance for me lol, my love of worshipping is part of the deal.

For an entity like Jophiel who is an angel, I don’t necessarily even want to feel his presence all the time because he’s just a lot to deal with on a daily basis. In fact I only really interact with Jophiel directly once every few months if that. He probably wouldn’t be very pleased by frivolous interactions either- actually he’s just straight up told me he doesn’t like it lol. His presence is something that can always be found but isn’t always appropriate or necessary. That doesn’t at all mean that Jophiel and I have a weaker relationship by any means, rather that we are so confident in our relationship that we can handle the distance. I know that if I make a genuine call he will answer, and there are times he just happens to be closer to me for whatever reason. In the same way, sometimes he’s just farther away. Jophiel is pure love and I know he feels no ill will towards me, love shows itself in many ways, not just the ways that are the most obvious. If I admire a stranger or study the beauty of a snowflake, Jophiel will always be there.

Likewise with an entity like Faviel, he kind of just does what he wants. By his very nature he is a free flyer. Sometimes he literally does straight up ignore me and that’s okay too. Sometimes I can tell he’s around but actively declining my call. He knows the difference between my genuine need for him and my random passive curiosity. He’s not my pet so he doesn’t stand by my leg all the time.

I’ve seen some hellenic devotees express that some of their Gods feel farther away during certain seasons (Apollon in the winter for example) so they amp up their offerings and celebrations to welcome them back in the spring. Your deities’ absence is the time to think about them most. There’s no need to mourn that which hasn’t died.

I can’t tell you for a 100% fact whether any given God loves us in the same way we experience love- because some of them genuinely just don’t. In the same way that you’re aroace, some Gods genuinely just don’t care about those kinds of relationships with humans lol- but in those cases it is quite easy to tell. Sometimes that level of intimacy isn’t necessary for the work being done. And yes, sometimes a God will definitely just reject you (HERMES REJECTED ME AT FIRST CAN YOU BELIEVE!?!)

But if you already have experienced a genuine connection then worrying about that is of no benefit to you.

These entities don’t really just sit around and wait for us to text them lol, they are very busy and important spirits with roles and things they need to do just like we do. Faviel is a messenger, Lucifer is a King, Jophiel is a chief and archangel, I’m sure your God is the God of something pretty important too. These fellas got work to do!

If Lucifer got mad at me whenever I was doing anything other than worshipping him, he’d probably think I didn’t care very much about him either- which isn’t very fair!

In my relationship with Lucifer especially, confidence was of the utmost importance. Simply put, if Lucifer put no effort in and did nothing in response to my calls, I wouldn’t be his devotee. I know that sounds harsh but it was Lucifer himself that taught me that I am worthy of being in his space, he does respect me and love me and I needed to be 100% confident and aware of that before he took me on. He actually scolded me a few times for “begging” him to appear because it seemed pathetic and he does not work with pathetic people. When you make that call you should be confident in your audacity to do so, you are more than worthy of an answer, there is no need to beg or worry.

If I worried that Lucifer doesn’t care about me every time I didn’t feel his presence that would be a way of casting doubt onto him. I need to be confident in our relationship even when it isn’t abundantly clear. I need to be able to find the light even when I can’t see it.

So in your case, maybe the reason why that feeling of love fades so quickly for you because as soon as you start to notice it, you start to question it and wonder if it’s really there. And then of course it won’t be- because you’re no longer feeling it but analyzing it. The next time you have this feeling allow your mind to go quiet and just let it happen. Don’t worry about anything else, feel it and cherish it and you will eventually become familiar and confident in it.

You got this!

[idealspawn]

ive been away from tumblr for such a long time, afraid it would trigger me. ive been doing so well:) i moved to another city. back to where i lived for a year, a year prior to this one. i was able to join a programme that enables me to study in this university again for a year as like an exchange student(?)-ish thing. it feels amazing. ive reconnected with two(three-ish?) extremely dear people to me and ive found my love for knowledge again. my apartment is so nice too. i live near a train station but i can barely hear anything, and if i do, the sounds are actually comforting. i used to dislike trains, they made me anxious but starting this summer i grew to love them and now i regularly even prefer them. i live on the top floor so my ceiling and walls are slanted but it brings me such comfort, my room in my parents' house also has it like that. i have a second floor, well half of it. there is a built-in ladder staircase. it feels extremely comforting. ive had to fix, and still have to fix, many things here bc its a relatively cheap apartment but im fine with that. it actually makes me feel more at home when i can work on the apartment and make it my own. it feels more like home when everything isnt perfect either. the washing machine was disgustingly dirty and the air ventilation thing above the stove is also so fucking nasty but ill deal w it.. not my first time renting an apartment...... .. .. . the emotional aspects of this place are way more important. ive adopted plants too this time around. and a lot more intentionally, ive made in-depth sheets on how to properly care for them. i speak to them and kiss them every day. i know i will buy at leasr one more plant. so far i have an aloe vera plant, alocasia zebrina(MY DEAREST but also the most needy), a chinese money plant and an ivy. i want another ivy but a diff one. right now i have the one called wonder, it looks very friendly, very round. i didnt intend to get this one but they got my order wrong but i didnt have the heart to exchange it so i will just keep it and buy the other ivy as a friend to it. i am so fond of the one that has, i cant seem to find its proper name, but the one that has extremely slim and elongated and really sharp star-like leaves. i figured maybe the two contrasting ivy plants would even look better together than just one. so maybe the wrong order was a blessing in disguise. im using plants to learn unconditional love and acceptance because my family definitely didnt provide me with that skill.. :d.. did the same with my childhood cat, thats why she was so extremely dear to me. when noone else in my family loved me unconditionally, she did:). ive been really motivated to study and read a lot of my own extracurricular stuff too. ive gone to really interesting tours and public programmes about nature and culture and society. ive actually enjoyed being on my own and had the balls to show up to places alone, i used to never be able to do that. i always had to have someone with me but its really limiting as many people around me right now have colliding interests. im also so insanely proud of myself for speaking up in a seminar!!!!!! u have no idea. NO IDEA how hard that has been for me. to realize my insight has value and should take up time and space in a seminar. ive always come so close to speaking but then my heart has raced out of my chest and then the moment passed. but this time i actually spoke up, i took the initiative and i didnt only speak abt the strict topic that our seminar text provided for that time but i brought up my individual reading!! and a girl in the seminar told me i spoke well!!(i didnt, god i was so nervous i stumbled upon my words so much and avoided all eye contact) AND ALSO the professor leading the seminar told me my answer was good too :) im so happy. im growing so much.