#this scene crushed me into a million pieces

[fictionadventurer]

Pop culture reduces It's a Wonderful Life to that last half hour, and thinks the whole thing is about this guy traveling to an alternate universe where he doesn't exist and a little girl saying, "Every time a bell rings, an angel gets its wings." A hokey, sugary fantasy. A light and fluffy story fit for Hallmark movies.

But this reading completely glosses over the fact that George Bailey is actively suicidal. He's not just standing there moping about, "My friends don't like me," like some characters do in shows that try to adapt this conceit to other settings. George's life has been destroyed. He's bankrupt and facing prison. The lifetime of struggle we've been watching for the last two hours has accomplished nothing but this crushing defeat, and he honestly believes that the best thing he can do is kill himself because he's worth more dead than alive. He would have thrown himself from a bridge had an actual angel from heaven not intervened at the last possible moment.

That's dark. The banker villain that pop culture reduces to a cartoon purposely drove a man to the brink of suicide, which only a miracle pulled him back from. And then George Bailey goes even deeper into despair. He not only believes that his future's not worth living, but that his past wasn't worth living. He thinks that every suffering he endured, every piece of good that he tried to do was not only pointless, but actively harmful, and he and the world would be better off if he had never existed at all.

This is the context that leads to the famed alternate universe of a million pastiches, and it's absolutely vital to understanding the world that George finds. It's there to specifically show him that his despondent views about his effect on the universe are wrong. His bum ear kept him from serving his country in the war--but the act that gave him that injury was what allowed his brother to grow up to become a war hero. His fight against Potter's domination of the town felt like useless tiny battles in a war that could never be won--but it turns out that even the act of fighting was enough to save the town from falling into hopeless slavery. He thought that if it weren't for him, his wife would have married Sam Wainwright and had a life of ease and luxury as a millionaire's wife, instead of suffering a painful life of penny-pinching with him. Finding out that she'd have been a spinster isn't, "Ha ha, she'd have been pathetic without you." It's showing him that she never loved Wainwright enough to marry him, and that George's existence didn't stop her from having a happier life, but saved her from having a sadder one. Everywhere he turns, he finds out that his existence wasn't a mistake, that his struggles and sufferings did accomplish something, that his painful existence wasn't a tragedy but a gift to the people around him.

Only when he realizes this does he get to come back home in wild joy over the gift of his existence. The scenes of hope and joy and love only exist because of the two hours of struggle and despair that came before. Even Zuzu's saccharine line about bells and angel wings exists, not as a sugary proverb, but as a climax to Clarence's story--showing that even George's despair had good effect, and that his newfound thankfulness for life causes not only earthly, but heavenly joy.

If this movie has light and hope, it's not because it exists in some fantasy world where everything is sunshine and rainbows, but because it fights tooth and nail to scrape every bit of hope it can from our all too dark and painful world. The light here exists, not because it ignores the dark, but because the dark makes light more precious and meaningful. The light exists in defiance of the dark, the hope in defiance of despair, and there is nothing saccharine about that. It's just about as realistic as it gets.

[mrinafria]

Just last night I was sitting there going through my edit drafts, and I looked at this scene, to notice all these things Seon Jae does before/during the live radio call.

Really wasn't going to write about OG Seon Jae after my last post on him. I never knew I had such a masochistic side to me until Lovely Runner because all I've done since this show started is go back to rewatch episode 1-4, over and over and over and over again as if this was a hell loop I created for myself.

There's hope, anticipation, a bit of excitement too. He will hear her voice. Again. He will get to talk to her. For the first time. Yeah. The OG Seon Jae never got to talk to Im Sol. He admired her, crushed on her, liked her, observed her, tried whatever he could as a 19yo to save her, but he never, ever got to talk to her. This is the very. first. time. he's able to have a conversation with her.

But she doesn't pick up. And he has to put a leash on his emotions in those few seconds because this version of Ryu Seon Jae stopped showing his true emotions long back. Ah, this was the only chance I had. I wish I could talk to her. I wish I could hear her voice. I wish I could know how she's been doing. Just once. Just this one time.

He introduces himself using his name. Not along with his band name, which is the usual practice, mind you. And a very little pause before going "Do you know me?"

Sometimes when you long for a person, crave for their voice, their smile, their presence in your life and your world, you desperately want to be present in their world too, no matter how trivial your presence or your existence might be to them. Seon Jae hoped she would remember; even if she didn't consider him her savior (which he never thought he was) he desperately wanted some semblance of familiarity in her voice, even if it was out of nothing but resentment. Maybe even something as painful as How dare you call me.

And she does share her resentments, not towards Seon Jae the 19yo boy who she doesn't remember, but Ryu Seon Jae the idol, along with everyone present there, for putting her through this misery, triggering her worst trauma and twisting the knife in her wound that has already driven her to the brink of ending it all. Everyone is uncomfortable here, except for this one guy. He's back to reliving that incident that forever changed her life, his life and brought them to this moment here. He is reminded of just how big of a failure he is, for failing this one person he never wanted to fail. He is reminded how a moment of indecision/inaction on his part led to the person he loves the most to be this miserable. In this moment above, you look at him and realize it's no longer Ryu Seon Jae; it's the 19yo Seon Jae, the one at the reservoir, the one who kept chanting mianhae to an unconscious Im Sol, the one who waited on that bench while she underwent surgery--clutching on to the watch in anguish as if that was the only thing keeping him from falling apart--the one who stood by her hospital door, listening to her screams while shattering into a million pieces inside. It's the 19yo Seon Jae who would be haunted by her screams and live for the remainder of his brief life in extreme guilt and regret mixed with intense longing, until he meets his untimely demise on that fateful night.

I often wonder if he could sense it from her voice on the call. Just how close she was to the edge, how she was probably going to do something that very day right after the call ended. Was it because he felt her pain as if it were his own? You see him springing to action right when we think it's over, as if he is desperate to help her, any. way. he. can. You see how restless his eyes get all of a sudden? He likely wants to say so many things to her. Sol-ah, I'm glad to hear your voice. Sol-ah, I'm sorry. Sol-ah, I hope you are okay. Sol-ah, I'm grateful you are here. Sol-ah, I'm really sorry I couldn't do better. I'm so sorry I failed to wake you up. I'm sorry I let you miss your stop. I'm sorry I didn't reach you sooner. I'm sorry I couldn't be more careful. You can hate me all you want. I'll live the rest of my life being sorry to you. You don't have to forgive me. I'm fine as long as you're okay, you're fine, you're happy. Sol-ah, I miss your smile. I miss the sound of it. I miss knowing you're happy somewhere, even if I am nowhere in your somewhere. Sol-ah, thank you. Sol-ah, please, please live.

But oh, he can't say any of that to her now. So all he says is "Thank you, for living. The ones by your side will thank you for that". And yes, he means himself.

He wanted to be the umbrella she once was to him, the gift she has been to him all his life, both literally and figuratively. And because Ryu Seon Jae is a person who will receive the affection/love you give with the utmost appreciation, increase it 10x more and return it to you gift-wrapped with sparkly ribbons, he chooses to be her umbrella this way, the only way he can.

He wanted to pull her out of the reservoir, literally and figuratively, so she could live. He didn't mind spending all his life stuck in that reservoir himself.

This was supposed to be a response to @thedeathdeelers rewatch post here and as usual, it ended up being a mess of feels (why do I even try really) I swear atp I feel like we're the same person watching feeling the same things lmao. You, don't ever shut up about this show please :')

p.s. I love writer Lee Si Eun for ultimately wanting to save THIS OG Ryu Seon Jae, and therefore initiating the memory flashback with pieces from this timeline. Although my heart will forever ache for this OG boy, it finds some comfort in that.

[annymation]

The Kingdom of Wishes- A “Wish” Rewrite

Chapter 14- I Will Protect You

Chapter 13

"I WHAT?!" Aster exclaims, almost falling backwards from the log he was sitting on. His animation becomes more sketchy and unfinished looking.

"Umm "In love", come on, don't tell me this is one of the things you don't know yet" Hal says with a smile and one eyebrow raised.

"I- I know what it means but- Where did THAT come from? hah ha" The star asks nervously, genuinely not understanding what she's talking about.

"I mean... It's pretty obvious" Dahlia comes in and starts listing all the evidence "From the way you two talk to each other, to how you blush whenever she holds your hand, and how she laughs about pretty much everything you say, I could go on all day, point is that the signs are all there." She explains casually.

Aster's eyes widen "THAT'S what being in love is??? No- no way! I can't be in love, that's... A HUMAN THING. Wishing stars don't fall in love... Do we?"Aster asks now looking up to the sky... No answer, the stars are dead silent, but not because they didn't listen, they just don't want to get involved for now.

Hal smiles with confusion in her eyes, seeing the boy just stare to the sky all of the sudden sure feels quite weird, but she just continues saying "We may not know anything about wishing stars, buuut we know our girl Asha, and it's pretty obvious at least she loves you." She says booping Aster's nose cheerfully.

Aster's turn to look at her slowly "... You think Asha loves me?" The star is stunned, as his mind starts racing, realizing what this means "... Oh... Oh this is-"

Bazeema has both hands on her cheeks as she says in a dreamy sigh "The most romantic thing in the wor-"

Aster has both hands on his head as he says in a panicked voice "Terrible!"

(This image doesn’t really have anything to do with this scene other than it taking place in a forest, but I had to include it in this rewrite cause OH MY GOSH DO YOU SEE HOW PRETTY THIS CONCEPT ART IS?!? AAAAAAH)

"Huh?? How's that terrible?!" Hal asks, now almost looking angry at the star.

Aster starts floating in the air, "Walking" back and forth "If Asha is in love with me an-and I'm in love with her then... She's gonna be heartbroken!" The star looks absolutely horrified with this discovery.

Gabo throws his head back and laughs at that before saying "WOOOW look at you, cape! Already dreading the eventual break up before even asking her out?" Gabo sounds almost proud "Maybe my pessimism is finally rubbing off on him" He whispers to Dario.

"NO nonono! The problem is... I can't STAY here!" They explain, sounding more and more distressed "Once we defeat Magnifico and save Rosas, Asha's wish will come true! And then I'll HAVE to go!"

"Well, here's a thought then: Fight the system." Gabo says with a mischievous look, like he's trying to influence the pure star to go to the "dark side" "Rules are made to be broken. What's the worse that could happen if you don't go back to the sky, hum?"

"I would cease to exist." Aster mutters quietly, still pacing around while flying.

"... Oh..." Gabo says in a deadpan manner "So we have a Romeo and Juliet scenario on our hands" The teen says with a hand on his chin.

"Indeed, it's a tale of forbidden love." Bazeema chimes in, both hands in her heart as she sighs like a hopeless romantic.

Gabo looks at her with a bored expression and says "I meant how they both die in the en-"

Dahlia interrupts him "Okay okay let me see if I understand" She pulls Aster down by his cape for him to sit next to her "After her wish is granted you'll have to leave, and you can't come back? Ever?"

"Yup!" The star blurts out, as he begins to speak quickly "So it's best to just deny these feelings and never let Asha find out, so her heart isn't crushed into a million pieces later, right?" He asks them with a forced smile, hoping they all agree.

"... Wrong" Hal says with her arms crossed "Aster, I get where you're coming from, but do you realize that if you don't tell her, and just leave... You two might spend your whole lives regretting not saying anything?" She asks the star with sadness in her eyes, but then she shakes off the feeling and add one last comment with a sassy smile "And I'm guessing the lifetime of a star is preeetty long, ain't it?"

"... You have no idea." Aster says while looking at nothing with a distant expression... For the first time realizing he's gonna outlive Asha by billions of years. The star looks at all the teens worriedly and asks "But if I tell her, then... Won't she feel even more hurt when I have to leave?"

"Most likely, yes." Bazeema confirms quietly, looking at Aster with a kind smile "But I think, if you two won't see each other ever again, then you should enjoy every moment together like it's your last." The star's eyes widen, not because the quiet girl is speaking more than usual but because those words hit him deeply with a realization, Bazeema continues with her quiet voice full of passion "Then maybe, it won't hurt as much when you go back to the sky and she stays down here, because at least you'll both know you had love... And that love will continue, even at a distance..."

Gabo moves slightly away from Bazeema like he's scared of her "Aight' who are you and where's Bazeema? She never spoken more than two lines in her life."

Bazeema realizes for how long she has been talking and that everyone is staring at her, she blushes and covers her cheeks in embarrassment "O-oh goodness, I didn't realize I was rambling, I'm so sorry."

"No, you're right." Aster says while getting up from the log he was sitting on "I'm gonna tell her." The star is back to his cheerful and confident self, as he starts making his way to where Asha went "I may not be able to spend my life with her, but I'll love her in our last few hours together just as much as I'd love her in a life time!"

Most of the teens cheer him on as he leaves, except for Simon who has just been staring this all play out while eating his soup, with a face of someone who regrets all his life choices... Oh and also Gabo stops cheering to give one last comment:

"Sure thing lover boy, but umm remember we can't have you two kissing and saving the kingdom at the same time, and we're gonna start the plan in a few minutes so-"

Aster is already marching through the forest as he shouts back to Gabo with an ever so slightly irritated tone "I'll love her in these next few MINUTES just as much as I'd love her in a life time!"

Gabo looks pleased because he has been trying to mess with the star's seemingly infinite patience the whole day, just for fun.

All the teens now are staring at each other in awkward silence, Dahlia notices and closes her eyes with a sigh

"... *sigh*... Do you guys wanna go and wa-" She hear the sound of footsteps and when she opens her eyes again, all of her friends are gone "Watch?... Heh heh Asha, you really can't get a moment of peace, can you?" She says while getting up with her crutch, to follow them, and watch how this will play out.

We cut to Asha sitting by the river, trying to draw herself while looking at her reflection. By her side there's a black and white, hand drawn candle lantern that actually emits light. There's also some fireflies flying around the proximity of the river.

Aster comes from behind a tree and takes a deep breath (even though he doesn't breathe) and starts flying to where she is.

Asha has her back turned to him, but she can see Aster's light approaching her, so she turns to look over her shoulder with a smile.

"Hey Aster! Great timing, I was just gonna ask you to come here" Asha taps on the floor next to her to signal that she wants Aster to sit with her

"Really? Well uh... Here I am hehe" Aster does so, they float down and sit next to Asha with his legs crossed "Do you need help with anything?"

"I could use some extra light. This lantern I made is great but your hair is waaay better" She says while placing her sketchbook on Aster's leg, so she can better see her drawings thanks to the light coming from his hair. She was gonna start drawing more but instead she gets distracted and talks with Aster excitedly "Also, I gotta say, it's amazing that my pencil can actually create FIRE! This is gonna be so useful when we're breaking in the castle. If any door is locked I can just burn them, or maybe I could create a giant hammer, or or... You know?! Anything!" She smiles widely at the star, not able to contain her joy, thinking about all the possibilities.

Aster looks at her with that same dreamy look he had at the campfire, admiring how she's just so full of life and hope.

"Yeah, I know, I'm glad you liked it" He says with a smile, Aster is now looking at the water, trying to think on what to say... Should he just say "I love you" out of the blue?... That doesn't feel right. So instead he just expresses how he wishes he could be there to... Protect her "I really wish I could go in there with you all, make sure you're safe"

Asha gives him a bittersweet smile as she explains "I know, but we've talked about this: you gotta distract Magnifico here in the forest and break his staff, while we'll get in the castle, fight the queen, and free all the wishes, so you can un-curse them and give them back to everyone."

(That's it, that's their plan! Will it work? whOoOoOOo KoOoWsSs? Oh wait, I know, hehehehe)

Aster looks at her worriedly "Are you suuuure you guys can handle Amaya on your own though?"

Asha chuckles with the question "It'll be eight teens vs one lady with no powers, if anything you should feel sorry for her haha" She laughs a bit, but then her face turns just as worried as Aster's was, as she thinks for a moment and says "But, you'll be on your own... Are you SURE you can fight Magnifico this time?" She asks him looking at him in the eyes.

Now Aster is the one who holds his laughter "Pfft you mean on my own + all the plants and wild life as my army? I'll manage." Aster says confidently, but then he notices the concern in Asha's expression, so he tells her more reassuringly "Hey, I'll be careful. He won't catch me this time, I promise."

Asha smiles as she holds his hand tightly "I know, I trust you."

Aster's freckles start sparkling and his hair shines brighter with that, they hold her hand back.

Asha also seems to be blushing as she holds his hand

The 7 teens are in the background watching everything with an expecting look, just waiting for Aster to make his move.

Aster notices them staring from the corner of his eye, Asha doesn't though.

The two of them break eye contact as Asha looks back to her sketchbook, while Aster looks at the impatient teens with an angry expression that screams "IM GETTING TO IT! LEAVE ME ALONE!"

The two teens take a deep breath and... They speak the same thing at the same time:

"... I wanted to tell you something-"

The two look surprised. Asha giggles a little as she says:

"Heh heh- okay you first-"

"No! no no no please, you go first!" Aster says, because he's honestly not ready to say it yet.

Asha takes a deep breath as she flips the pages of her sketchbook "Okay... This is gonna sound really out of nowhere but umm..." She stops in a page and takes out of the book... A sword "Wanna practice sword fighting with me?" She asks with an awkward smile.

... That's not what Aster nor the teens watching this behind the bushes expected at all...

Aster looks at the hand drawn sword and then back to Asha with a confused smile "... Eh?"

Asha lowers the sword "I know, I know, kinda last minute. But I just had the best idea!" She get's up and starts to explain while walking around with the sword in her hand "Your magic can't hurt me, and my magic can't hurt you, soooo we are perfect dueling partners to practice, don't you think?"

Aster understands now, she wants to be ready to fight the guards in case they are spotted by any... or even the royals.

"I don't remember sword fighting being part of the plan." Aster notes with a cheeky smile.

"It's not, it's just my own idea, call it a plan C" She says while looking at the sword she drew proudly.

"Sooo are you "planning" to make extra plans from A to Z? heheh" Aster jokes, still sitting down next to the river, looking up to her.

"You know, I actually might. Better be safe than sorry." She says, her smile falters a little, with her eyes revealing that she still has some doubts "I just... I gotta be ready for anything they might throw at us. I want to make sure I can protect my friends... Protect you." She tells Aster like she's letting out something that has eating her up inside.

Aster eyes sparkle with those last two words, since that's the same thing he wanted to say.

"... Well then..." Aster begins to talk with his eyes closed, reaching for something behind his back- "En garde!" He quickly creates a sword made of star dust while she wasn't looking.

The sword hits Asha, and just like how it went when Aster tried to use this trick against Magnifico during their fight in the storm, Asha starts laughing, feeling a sense of joy overtake her.

"Hhahahaahha" She laughs, hugging her sides as Aster get's up, standing in a fighting position holding his own sword "Hey! I wasn't ready!"

"Expect the unexpected, now come on! And don't you dare go easy on me!" He says spinning his sword with a confident look.

"Funny, I was gonna say the same thing!" Asha exclaims with a daring smile.

The two of them duel together around the clearing near the river, snickering the whole way through. Asha lands some hits on Aster, slicing his body made of star dust, but he immediately gets back together with every attack.

When Aster's sword hits Asha, all it does is make her chuckle a little, but she's landing a lot more hits than the star.

The 7 teens are watching all of this in the background, both surprised and endeared by the sight, that's definitely not where none of them expected this would go... But it is kinda romantic in a weird way.

"You're actually pretty good at this!" Aster comments as they're now both looking at each other in the eyes, with their swords pressed against one another

"Thanks! you too... But could be better tho." Asha says with a confident smirk "Good thing I'll be the one actually sword fighting hehe" She teases him

The star makes mocking shocked face "*Gaaaasp* Ooooh you did not! Alright, you asked for it!"

Aster summons a bunch of swords around Asha and makes all of them hit her at the same time, creating a huge cloud of star dust around them

Asha can only laugh as she falls on the grass

"Hhahaaahahah hey no fair!" Asha exclaims while laying on the grass

Aster is now floating with his face close to her's "Thought you said I shouldn't go easy on youuu" They smile playfully

Asha pulls him down by the cape and the two roll around the grass like two kids playing fighting, not even realizing that they're hugging. They both laugh the whole way through.

After calming down, they both lay next to each other and look up at the stars.

"So... Feeling more prepared?" Aster asks while still looking up

"Yeah, I think I can take 'em." She says, feeling reassured "*sigh* I just can't wait for all of this to be over." Her voice is full of hope.

Aster's smile slowly dissolves into a frown as he remembers he'll have to leave once it IS all over.

"... Um-hum, me too... Can't wait." They say, trying to hide their inner turmoil

Asha turns to the star with a curious smile "Ok, now's your turn."

Aster looks at her confused "Huh?"

"You said you had something to tell me, didn't you?" Asha asks, laying down on the grass next to the star

"O-Oh right! heh hehe... Umm" Aster quickly realizes he has no idea how to tell her. The star just begins blabbering nonsense without even realizing " Sooo uh I wanted to tell you- I mean- I actually didn't wanna tell you at first- Bu-but I have to t-tell you while we still have time that I... UUUH... I... I think I am- Ya know?"

Aster.exe stops working while Asha just stares at him in amusement, she never seen him acting like this before.

From the bushes where the seven teens are hiding comes Hal's voice shouting:

"Oh come on! JUST KISS THE GIRL ALREADY!"

(Shout out to @wings-of-sapphire who asked for a Kiss The Girl reference)

Aster discretely uses his magic to make several trees instantly grow in front of where the teens are hiding, creating a wall of trees, Asha doesn't notice as she sits up from the ground and looks back.

"What was that?" She looks around confused, but all she sees behind her are trees

"T-the wind, probably! heheh" Aster stammers out nervously.

Asha get's up and starts walking away from Aster "The other's may be calling us, I think we sho-"

"Asha wait!" Aster quickly gets up and grabs her hand, she looks back at him confused, but wanting to listen. Aster can only sigh as he explains frustrated " I just... I just have SO MUCH to tell you, and I don't know how to put it into words"

Asha holds his hand closely as she says "That's... Pretty unlike you. You've always been good at explaining what's on your mind" It sounds like that's something she admires about him.

"Yeah, but this is coming from somewhere else though." Aster tells her while placing his hand on his chest...

Asha's eyes light up in surprise, like she finally starts to realize what Aster is trying to tell her.

Aster ponders looking at her hand, how can he tell her all these new feelings that she showed him? Feelings that he can't even understand himself? How can he tell her what she's to him... Maybe the same way that he explained to her who she was... When they first met.

"Maybe... I can try beginning to explain this to you... In the best way I know how" Aster repeats the words that he said before they started singing "I'm a Star" on the night that Asha wished upon him.

And so... FINALLY... We get the song:

At All Cost

(Aster holds both of Asha's hands as the music begins, and we see fireflies flying around them. Asha looks at Aster expectantly, already suspecting what he'll say but still not quite believing this is really happening... That he actually feels the same way as her... And Aster confirms her suspicions as he begins to sing)

If happiness was a tangible thing It would be you If you'd have told me the feeling you'd bring I'd think it untrue

(Asha's eyes widen as she hears him, as he tries his best to put everything he has been feeling for so long into words. The star is gazing at her with a shy smile, his cheeks sparkling with golden star dust)

And people search for a wonder like you All of their lives You still amaze me after all this time

(Aster caresses her face gently as they say the line "You still amaze me after all this time", referring to how after growing up and watching her all these years, she still found new ways to impress him. Asha is now smiling at the star with eyes full of passion, confirming to him that she feels the same way, and with that, Aster begins to sing with more energy)

You pull me in like some kind of wind Mesmerized by the hold I'm in Leave you here, I don't wanna I wanna

(Aster pulls her in and starts spinning with her around the clearing, more fireflies start flying around them. Asha holds him closely as he sings the second line. Aster is hugging her as he sings the third line with his eyes showing more sadness, for he knows that eventually he'll have to leave her... And on the last line he looks at her, preparing to actually say what he has been meaning to say all this time... And only then he begins flying with her)

Love you as one does I, I will protect you at all costs

Keep you safe here in my arms I, I will protect you at all costs At all costs

(He holds her in the way one would when dancing a waltz, and starts guiding her to dance while they fly together, Asha is at first caught off guard by the fact they suddenly started floating, but as she looks at Aster in the eyes she knows there's nothing to fear, and she follows his lead. They're now flying above the trees, and all Asha can say while looking at the star is:)

Wow What's pain? When I look at you? No way I could explain you, even if tried to I'll never dream like used to do

(Asha caresses Aster's cheek with one hand as she now begins to put into words what she has been feeling, how when he's around she feels no pain, only happiness, how he changed her whole world and now she'll never see things or dream the same way) If someone tried to hurt you, I don't See how that could happen I'd fight for you in ways you can't imagine

(As she sings while still dancing with Aster and the two keep going higher and higher up in the sky. We see in the background behind her two constellations resembling Magnifico and Amable, and as she sings "See how that could happen" Asha moves her hands in a way like she's waving away some flies and the constellations behind her disappear as if the thought of them also is dismissed. And as she says the last line she boops Aster nose playfully to say how she's confident she'll keep him safe no matter what (You may hear in the distance the writer crying because she hates herself)) Felt this, no, I haven't, I hope It would be all right to stay right here beside you

(She smiles at the star brightly as she expresses she never felt like this before, and hugs him tightly as she sings the second line.) And love you as one does I, I will protect you at all costs

(Aster throws Asha to the sky, making her fly even higher than him, they're approaching the clouds above them. Aster flies to her and they hold each other to once again dance their waltz) Keep you safe here in my arms I, I will protect you at all costs At all costs

(As they dance flying upwards, they pass through the clouds when they sing the line "At all costs") If you're ever feeling like you're lost I'll come find you

(Asha is now above the clouds, she looks around noticing Aster disappeared, but as they sing "I'll come find you" Aster shows up behind her and gives her a hug from her back) Man all fronts, there's no ocean I won't swim across To be right by you

(Aster flies to be in front of her and holds Asha up, twirling with her in his arms, like this)

And not just once, here and now I swear on my response I'll remind you

(Aster let's her down and they gaze each other lovingly for a moment while singing those two lines with bright smiles on their faces) And love you as one does I, I will protect you at all costs Keep you safe here in my arms I, I will protect you at all costs

(They slow dance on the clouds, with the moon light and the stars shinning upon them. We get a shot like this from sleeping beauty)

(And as the song slowly comes to an end, Asha starts closing the distance between them) At all costs

(Asha's face is getting closer and closer to Aster's, as she's going for a kiss, Aster is surprised at first but he slowly goes for it too... Until.)

He stops.

As the instrumentals from "At All Cost" are replaced by different instrumentals

Instrumentals we haven't heard since the end of chapter 7.

The sound of some very angry orchestra instruments starts playing on Aster's ears, only the star can hear them, and that's shown in his face as he looks very bothered with his eyebrows scrunching.

Asha is waiting for the kiss but it never came, when she's about to open her eyes Aster just pulls her for a hug instead.

They hug, both not quite sure where to go from here, but Asha smiles brightly, feeling Aster's warmth.

Asha breaks the silence as she says "This is better than all my dreams...You actually love me back." She says almost in disbelief, but in a good way, like it's hard to believe this is real.

"Your friends said it was pretty obvious heh heh" Aster says chuckling a bit, trying to tune out the stars yelling at him.

"It kinda was ha hah" She says while laughing, because looking back Aster was very much not subtle about it "But I assumed that was just how you acted with everyone..." She admits, showing a bit of how her own insecurities were actually stopping her from seeing the very obvious truth.

Aster let's go of the hug and holds her face gently to say "Nah... Only with you." They smile, looking at her lovingly.

Asha's eyes almost sparkle as she looks to the star. She takes a deep breath and says "Aster... We'll be separated for most of the plan... I won't be there to protect you, so I need you to promise me that when you find-"

"Magnifico." Aster says in a whisper, his eyes not focusing on Asha as he's looking at something behind her

"Yeah, him, I need you to promise me tha-"

"No! Look!" Aster turns her face to look what's going on bellow the clouds.

Asha looks down and sees it... There's an army of guards approaching the forest, and leading them is someone carrying a green light.

Asha gets her sketchbook and draws a spyglass, pulling it off the page, she lays down on the cloud and uses the spyglass to confirm if it is him

Like this scene in the live action Peter Pan movie

And sure enough, it is. But she notices something else:

"Yeeesh! That lightning messed him up more than I thought... He got a huge scar on his face now." Asha comments.

"HA! Nice. I'm gonna drive him nuts when I make fun about that" The star says mischievously, already planning on how he's gonna break that staff.

"Hey, this is exactly what I was gonna talk about! I need you to be careful out there, don't get cocky, and don't fall for his tricks." Asha says sounding more serious, but with worry clear in her face.

"I'll be careful, I promise." Aster reassures her confidently. He pulls her up and holds her in his arms bridal style "Now let's go tell the others we can skip the "get his attention" part of the plan- WOOHUL!" Aster jumps off the clouds.

We cut a montage that consists of Asha and Aster narrating their parts of the plan while those steps happen in real time, we see Asha drawing something while her voice says in the background

"To get from here to the castle we could use Aster's magic, but that’s too risky since his star dust is shiny. I think it's safer if I create flying objects to get us there, it'll be dark, so hopefully if we're quick the guards won't see us."

We see Asha draw a carpet, and once she takes it out from her sketchbook it becomes a flying carpet like the one from Alladin.

Then, we cut to some guards, with one of them yawning in the forefront, guarding the castle’s entrance, while above them in the background we see some dark tiny silhouettes passing by.

We cut to Asha and Dahlia already getting off the magic carpet, now they're at the center of the royal garden.

We also see Safi and Simon flying down on a witches broom, Hal wearing shoes with wings like Hermes, Dario flying on a donkey with wings, as a reference to the short "The Flying Gauchito" from The Three Caballeros (HA! I DID IT! I REFERENCED THE THREE CABALLEROS! THIS IS SUCH A WIN FOR ME AS A BRAZILIAN!!!)

"You sure got pretty creative with these "flying objects" huh Asha?" Dahlia mentions as the others start gathering around

"Heheh thanks, I decided to just let my imagination run wild" Asha says enthusiastically.

"I could tell" Gabo mentions as he lands down on the garden, and we see him riding a happy baby elephant with big ears... So yeah we straight up have a Dumbo cameo "Couldn't you just give all of us flying brooms?"

"And where's the fun in that? Brooms are way too simple to draw." Asha shrugs "Also come on, don't tell me you don't think this one turned out pretty cute" She says cheerfully while petting the hand drawn Dumbo.

"I must say, he is quite adorable hihi" Bazeema comments quietly as she's landing on the garden with an umbrella... Like Mary Poppins.

Gabo just gets off the baby elephant as he tells Asha with a smile, as in, a genuine one this time "Hehe I really don't understand how your mind works, ya know?"

"Neither do I” Asha admits casually, while magically bringing all the living drawings back inside her sketchbook ���Alright, Bazeema, where's the secret entrance you told us about?" Asha asks her bashful friend.

We see Bazeema guiding them to the middle of a rose garden. They prickle themselves through the thorny flowers, with Safi sneezing a few times, until they reach a hatchway made of metal with the symbol of Rosas engraved on it.

"Such wondrous things an introvert can find hihihi" Bazeema says quietly and proudly while pointing at the entrance.

We then cut to King Magnifico riding on his horse, leading his soldiers to the forest with an wicked smile, and we hear Aster's narration of his part of the plan:

"Meanwhile, I'll deal with king Magnifico. I just have to annoy him enough to the point where he'll let his guard down and I can take that staff off his hands, and once I do, it's over."

Magnifico prepares to throw a fire spell over the woods while saying "Let's see how long they'll keep cowering in there after THI-"

Something small and round hits behind his head. Distracting him from performing the spell. The king turns and looks angrily at his guards.

"Who threw that?!"

The guards all look at him confused, not even knowing what he's talking about.

"I did!" the voice of Alan Tudyk comes from the ground

(Yeah he doesn't get to voice Valentino, but he get's to voice most of the talking animals, since he's the lucky charm of Disney and all that)

The king looks down and sees a red squirrel (That is native of the Iberian Peninsula, look it up) holding a nut, ready to throw another one at him.

Magnifico stares at the little critter for a second before he starts laughing, turning to look at the forest as he shouts "HA! What's the matter boy?! Too scared to face me yourself?! Come on out, I know you're hiding in there!"

Then they hear Aster's voice echo from the forest, it's a voice full of glee and mischief:

"Hehehe I ain't scared of you, Alan was just eager to get started! I'm just getting warmed up!"

Some of the guards look scared by the echoing voice, while the king still smiles confidently "Oh but you should be scared, or have you forgotten what I taught you last time? That you are NO MATCH for me!"

"Hmmm It's a blur, all I remember is that now you look just as ugly on the outside as you are on the inside! HAH HAHA!" The star lets out an impish laugh, it echos through the woods.

(Aster's Peter Pan side is showing)

Magnifico's scarred face goes from a confident smile to a furious scowl. He rides his horse to go deeper inside the forest, with the guards following along "WHEN I FIND YOU I SWEAR I WILL WIPE THAT SMILE CLEAN OFF YOUR FACE!" He shouts, enraged by the star daring to insult his looks.

"Good luck with that! Cause' ya know, back at that storm I didn't really have anything to work with...But now..."

Magnifico hears screams from the soldiers behind him. He turns around and sees some of them are tangled up in vines, while others are running away from wild critters, and others are trapped inside giant flowers, it's a vision of pure chaos as now the king is on his own.

Magnifico looks at all of that in shock, unaware that Aster is now floating right behind him with a relaxed and confident smile. The star let's his presence be known as he whispers:

"Now I'm in my element." The star says that like a threat.

Magnifico get's startled but doesn't let it show, as he tries to turn around but-

He's stopped by something holding his staff.

As he looks down and sees vines trying to pull it off his hands. Magnifico tries to pull it away from them with all his strength, while making his horse walk backwards, and with that Aster starts talking casually to the horse

"Hey pal, did you know the guy sitting on you tried to kill me yesterday?" The white horse gives him a surprised glance as Aster continues "Yeah, he’s NUTS, I think you're better off without him" Aster tells him warningly.

The horse glares at Magnifico, and stands up on his back legs, making Magnifico lose his balance and fall on the ground.

The horse runs away, but the king is still holding tightly to his staff, the vines are still pulling it. He let's out a furious scream:

"UUUUGHA! You really think it's gonna be THAT easy?!" Magnifico uses a fire spell and burns the vines, once he's free he turns to where Aster was... But the star is no where to be seen.

"Yoooohooo!" Aster's voice sounds distant.

Magnifico turns to where it came from, he sees a trail, and by the end of it up a small hill, there he is, Aster is waving at him, basically inviting the king to follow the trail "Well?! What you waiting for?! Thought you wanted a proper hunt! HAHAH" And Aster flies off so fast it's almost he's just a shinny blur.

The king is catching his breath seemingly already exhausted even though the fight just begun.

His expression at first shows frustration... But it slowly changes to a wicked smirk as he talks to himself sinisterly "Indeed, I was looking forward for a hunt... And your little friends just so happen to be inside our trap."

(Pretend there’s a lightning looking scar on his left eye please, not like Harry Potter, I mean like actual lightning, thanks.)

Magnifico runs to where Aster went.

So we cut back to Asha and the others, as they make their way through a tunnel that leads to the dungeons.

"You're sureee these tunnels will lead us to the dungeons, Bazeema?" Asha asks, she's leading the group while holding a hand drawn torch

"That's what my father told me" Bazeema says quietly.

(Also I guess I should mention her dad also tends to the royal garden.)

Asha nods as she looks ahead attentively "Well I hope he's right, cause' I really don't want any surpri-"

"Maaa"

They hear the familiar bleating coming from behind them, everyone turns around and it came from... Dario, as he tries hiding something inside his shirt.

"... ooooh no no no NO NO NO" Asha says, very distressed while running to Dario, already knowing exactly who's inside his shirt "Dario! We were supposed to leave Valentino with Aster's animal friends! Why would you bring him with you???"

Dario has a face full of guilt and regret as he pulls the happy baby goat out of his large loose green shirt, he lets go of Valentino and begins to explain in sign language "He gave me big sad puppy eyes! I couldn't resist it! Plus, what's the issue? The little guy might be able to help us" Dario signs that last part with a hopeful smile that his friend will agree

Asha doesn't agree at all though, as she takes Valentino in her arms

Asha scolds her tall friend while holding Velentino close to her "I promised myself I would never let him in this castle again, last time he almost got eaten by a lynx and- and what if he gets lost??"

"Asha, calm down." Simon comes in from behind her, placing a hand on her shoulder "We just gotta stick to the plan and stay together, we'll be safe."

Asha notices that he sounds... Very certain about that, which is odd coming from him. But Asha thinks it's a nice change for Simon.

"*Sigh*... Yeah you're right, we just have to stay together" She turns around and smiles at Simon "I'm glad you're not so scared anymore, you seemed pretty insecure about the plan earlier today" She says calmly as she makes he way back to the front of the line.

Dario follows Asha, now walking in front of Simon. The light coming from Asha's torch is distant so Simon is more in the darkness as he says

"I just needed some time to put my thoughts in order" His voice is emotionless.

And we see his eyes glow green for a second.

But immediately after that, he winces quietly in pain, placing a hand in his forehead as if he's feeling a strong headache. None of the other's notice though, as his eyes are back to normal when he opens them again.

We cut to them now inside the dungeons, it's a dark, large and humid corridor with walls made of dark bricks, with jail cells all along the way. Safi keeps sneezing because of the humidity.

(I got this image from a deleted scene from Wish, I swear I had this plot point of them getting in the dungeons for MONTHS and I just watched the deleted scene a week ago, it’s insane how much stuff I came up with seems to be in sink with the movie’s original ideas)

"I hate this place- ACHOOOO!" The boy looks scared as he holds on to his scarf "Are we close to the exit yet, Gabo?"

"We sure are buddy, just a few jail cells ahead and we reach the exit" Gabo says confidently, he knows his way through the dungeon since, as he told his friends earlier, when he was a kid he went to explore it.

(I forgot to mention in the previous chapter but his dad is a guard, that's why he had keys to the dungeons that Gabo stole from him)

"Good, this place gives me the creeps" Dahlia says, while looking around scared

"Look on the bright side, guys" Hal chimes in trying to bring some optimism "At least there aren't any creepy inmates, it's just us and our friendly faces" the girl smiles brightly, hugging Safi and Dahlia by the shoulders.

"And also this poor fella" Gabo says, pointing at a skeleton laying down out of a jail cell, trying to reach for an empty jar of water

Like this one from Snow White.

"... HMMM oooookayy let's pick up the pace, shall we?" Hal says with a clearly forced smile this time, her eyes wide as she starts to walk faster, still hugging Safi and Dahlia so they go with her.

Dario, Bazeema and Simon also start walking faster after the others, while Asha stays still for a moment

She looks down at the skeleton and ponders out loud "... I wonder what kind of people Magnus and Amaya would keep down here... Maybe people who found out about the secret like I did." Her voice is heavy and full of concern.

"I don't like how that implies this could happen to you." Gabo says for once not sounding condescending nor sarcastic, but genuinely worried, he's also the only one that didn't walk away from the skeleton and stayed to talk to Asha "Let's, just this once, assume anything in Rosas is normal and this guy just robbed the crown's jewels or something, now come on" He says, rushing Asha to keep going.

This is probably the closest Gabo ever got to being "Optimistic"... In his own way. Asha smiles at that as she starts walking after him. Then they hear Dahlia's voice coming a few meters in front of them:

"GABO! Is this the way out?!"

Asha and Gabo run to where they are, and all six of them are standing in front of a big wooden door

"YUP! This is it" Gabo says with a huge smile

"Great! Hold this" She hands her hand drawn torch to Safi, as she gets her sketchbook and pencil to draw a key, she then pulls it out of her sketchbook

"How do you know it's gonna fit though?" Safi asks her curious

"I drew it thinking of it as the key to this door, and so-" She fits the key inside the keyhole and the door makes the clicking sound of it being opened "It is" Asha smiles victoriously

All the teens look excited, the plan is going smoothly so far.

Asha gives them one last ted talk before she opens the door

"Alright guys, after we're in the castle we'll have to be VERY careful, yes, it's just queen Amaya in there, and a crazy lynx, but still, she's unpredictable." Her voice is of a true leader.

"Oh nooo! Is she gonna throw hot tea at us or something? Hahah" Gabo laughs at his own joke

Asha begins to open the door while looking down at Gabo. "You have no idea what she's capable of. So when we're in, we just run through the-"

"KITCHEN?!" Dahlia exclaims looking shocked at what's behind the door, all the other teens except Asha are also looking at it, just as shocked as her.

Asha looks at her friend confused "What? No, we're not going even close to the kitchen, we-" Asha turns to look where the door leads to and sure enough...

She sees the royal kitchen.

"... Huh?!"

All of them go through the door. Now they're inside the dark kitchen.

A place Dahlia is really familiar with... So she knows very well this is all wrong.

"Okay... This is freaky" Dahlia says looking around the place "That door was supposed to lead to the pantry, NOT the dungeon" she says scared, pointing at the door they came through.

Asha looks around the dark room, her face becomes more and more worried "This makes no sense..."

"Maybe your magic key messed with the door?" Gabo asks Asha

"No it didn't, this isn't my magic's doing, it's-" Asha looks at the door and realizes... There's something written on it. She gets a closer look, and sees symbols written all over the door, with some words in latin too... "This is the king's sorcery... He made a trap for us..." Asha sounds terrified.

"T-that's impossible, how could he know we were coming?" Hal asks, sounding just as distressed as her friend

"H-he couldn't, I-" Asha takes a deep breath and closes the door they came through "Check the other door!"

Dario runs to the door that leads to outside of the kitchen. It also has symbols written on it, but he tries opening it anyway...

It leads to the dungeons they just got out off too.

Dario looks back at them scared.

"... There's no way out" Asha whispers, sounding more and more distressed by the second. She takes Valentino from the floor and holds him in her arms.

"What about that door?" Simon asks, pointing at another door, but this one has no symbols written on it... And he sounds surprisingly calm for the situation.

"That's just the closet we keep the pans, pots and utensils. That's not an exit…" Dahlia explains, trying her best not to panic.

"Who knows? Maybe it'll lead somewhere, only one way to find out." Simon walks towards it.

He opens it, they look inside, it's so dark in there they can't even see the kitchen stuff that Dahlia mentioned.

Asha starts walking to the door, not sure if there'll be anything at all that can help them escape, but it's worth a shot, after all they apparently have nowhere else to go.

(I just realized there's probably a window in this kitchen and these kids are just being really dramatic)

Asha turns to her friends as she walks to the door "It's gonna be okay, Aster will come here after breaking Magnifico's staff any moment now... I know he will... All we gotta do is wait and stay toge-THEEEEEERRR"

And she falls in a dark pit inside the room.

"ASHA!" All 7 teens scream in unison, and I mean all 7, Simon included, as he genuinely didn't expect this.

(Actually, Dario wouldn't scream but uuh you get the idea)

However, he is the only one that stays outside the room, while all the other six run in, but unlike Asha, they don't fall anywhere, they're simply inside a normal room with pans and pots.

"Where did she go?!" "WAS THAT A TRAP?!" "What is going on???"

All of them speak at the same time, desperate for answers, but in the sea of shouts and questions they hear one quiet question

"Simon?" Bazeema's quiet high pitched voice makes the others go silent as they all turn around and see Simon standing in the entrance.

He looks at them with genuine sadness for what he's about to do.

"I'm sorry." He closes the door with a BLAM and locks it.

...

"... W H A T " Gabo's voice comes out filled with rage. "DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!"

"I'm keeping you guys safe, like I've been trying to do this whole time but none of you EVER listen to me!" The oldest of the group says from the other side of the door.

"Si-simon, what's going on, why are you doing this?" Dahlia asks desperately.

Simon takes a deep breath and tries to explain "... Look, I'm going to be straight with you all, I talked with king Magnifico-"

(Hahah that’s a direct quote from Wreck It Ralph, when he betrays Vaneloppe)

"MAGNIFICO?!" Gabo shouts with indignation "YOU DIRTY TRAITOR! YOU SOLD US OUT!"

"No! No it's not like that!... At least, it wasn't supposed to happen, I-I didn't mean to do it-" Simon knows they won't forgive him but he tries to at least explain he did it for their own good "I just wanted to make a deal with him, to give him the star's location in exchange of all of us not getting hurt-"

"OH SO YOU WANTED SELL ASTER OUT!?" Gabo for the first time calls the star by his name

"LISTEN! I was desperate, okay?! I knew that if we just went with this plan things could go horribly wrong, and I knew none of you would listen to me if I tried to stop you, so... I contacted him through a mirror he gave to my dad" Simon is sitting with his back on the door as he explains, sounding more and more scared "And- I- I even realized I was making a mistake... I really did! I tried to break the mirror or throw it away but- I couldn't do it- he just kept talking and talking and- UGH" Simon winces in pain and holds his forehead as his eyes once again glow green, he takes some deep breaths as he ever so slightly calms down "The point is... We made a deal. He promised that if I keep you all in here then you'll be safe. It's the only way I can protect you." Simon's face looks tired as he says those words monotonously, like he's just repeating what he has heard before.

"Then WHERE is Asha?! Or was she not included in the deal?!" Now it's Dahlia's turn to yell at him through the door.

Simon's face instantly turns worried once more as if he's snapping out trance "I- I don't know... He never said this would happen" Simon thinks for a moment "Though... I don't remember much of what he said at all..."

"Ooooooh GREAT! Magnus gave you amnesia, such a trust worthy guy HUMM SIMON?!" Gabo says sarcastically, but his voice is not trying to be funny, he is furious.

"I- I'm sure wherever she is she'll be fine!" Simon tells them... More so trying to tell this to himself.

...

We cut to Asha falling from a dark portal that opened in the ceiling of a room.

She screams while hugging Valentino tightly.

"THEEEER- OOOF" She hits the floor "Ouch... Uuugh... you ok Valentino?" She asks her goat while groaning in pain.

"MaAAaaA" Valentino doesn't sound his best, but overall he's alright.

Asha get's up and looks around to see where she is... The king's study... Right next to the wishes room...

This is actually exactly where she and her friend's planned to go, they wanted to free all the wishes by opening the tower's ceiling, so Aster could use his magic and un-curse them all, then give them back to the people of Rosas...

But her friends aren't here... She's alone.

"How did things go so wrong?" Asha asks to herself while looking around the room, she notices some broken mirrors on the walls, as she sees he own reflection "... Come on Val, I'll send the signal to Aster. Regardless if he broke Magnifico's staff or not, he gotta come here and help me." Asha walks to the wishes room, while flipping through the pages of her sketchbook, until she finds the drawing she was looking for, a firework.

She's about to reach for the firework to take it out off the page... But then she sees the light of the wishes floating above her.

She stops and looks up to them, some of them are still blue, but the majority are green.

She looks up with a bittersweet smile, and says quietly with her voice full of hope "Hang in there just a little bit longer, okay? I promise I'll save all of you."

"It's unwise to make promises you cannot keep, mi rosa."

Asha feels a chill run down her spine. As she turns around quickly with an expression of horror already painted on her face.

Queen Amable is standing a few feet away from her, she's in the study while Asha is in the middle of the wishes room.

The queen smiles at Asha sadistically, with her pet lynx right by her side.

Chapter 15

Final Thoughts

OOOOOOOOH BOY so much happened huh?!

I am going crazy, wacky even, I waited so long for us to get to this part of the story! Not just the "At All Cost" stuff, I mean like THE CLIMAX THAT IS APPROACHING AND IM JUST BUILDING UP TO IT NOW AAAAAAH.

But YEAH let's talk about the At All Cost stuff, cause like... WOOOOAH BOY I love that song, and not just because it's pretty, but because while listening to it I felt like the song perfectly encapsulates teenage love, what do I mean? Because it's all so pure and like the two voices are saying the first things that come to their minds, it feels like a passionate train of thought forming in real time, and that's what I wanted to be like for Aster and Asha, as Aster is trying to figure out these feelings he didn't even know they could have, and Asha is caught off guard but so happy to finally show what she has been feeling too. It's beautiful.

I feel like most Disney couples don't feel like... Teenage love, mostly because the guys are ALWAYS older than the girl, and like, not that there's anything wrong with that... Except in some cases *glares at Snow White and Florian's age gap* but I think it's quite refreshing to see young love being depicted like this, with the two acting awkward and even oblivious because they don't know what love really feels like... And also they're raising a rebellion so that kinda keeps them distracted.

But speaking of the rebellion... It really takes just ONE person not believing in the cause for everything to go down the drain, huh? Yeah, Simon has his own ways of protecting his friends, while Asha chooses to fight, Simon chooses to comply. And really, I feel sorry for him, you guys maybe don't, like, everyone now might be a Simon hater, and I get it, but like, Magnifico played him like a fiddle.

Simon just hoped that if the king got Aster he'd leave Asha alone, but as they were talking Simon realized that Magnifico really wanted BOTH of them, so he realized he made a mistake and even tried to break the mirror... But before he could, welp, Magnifico pulled a Kaa move, and hypnosis happens to be way more effective on people who are feeling sleepy, so really Simon had no chance.

And can I just toot my own horn here and say that I'm so proud that even when Magnifico and Amaya aren't in the scene they'tr still threatening? Because that scene at the kitchen when they realize they're trapped, meaning that Magnifico knows their plan, GIVES ME CHILLS, probably because I hate the idea of being confined in a room with nowhere to leave.

And like... Magnifico is doing this just for the lols really, the guy could've just made Simon tell him where they were and captured them in the forest, but he was like "Ooooh they wanna get in the castle to harm my wife? Well, we can't have that now can we? Here's what I want you to do-" And then proceeds to make Simon betray his friends in such a way they'll never forgive him, oh, and if Simon doesn't do it then the king implies they WILL get hurt, how fuuuun.

It's funny how Aster is just having fun in the forest, messing with Magnifico, going through his Peter Pan arc, completely unaware Asha and the others are going through a living nightmare. Oh but don't worry, he'll join the nightmare too :)

You guys might start to think I'm on the villains side or something because they always get the upper hand, but this is all part of the metaphor of them representing the struggles Asha faces in her life, and let me tell ya folks, life is hard, sometimes just as hard as defeating two villains, but no matter what they do, Asha will keep fighting, and that's what makes a hero, the lower a hero get's, the more satisfying it is when they rise... And the higher a villain rises, the harder they fall :)

See ya'll next time!

Thank You For Reading!

[whinlatter]

sirius and ginny: a meta (part 1)

“Excuse me, but I care what happens to Sirius as much as you do!” said Ginny, her jaw set so that her resemblance to Fred and George was suddenly striking.’

are you a very brave, very reckless, very hot self-destructive rebel with a treacherous sibling and a flair for christmas decoration, harbouring complex feelings about your mother, close ties to crookshanks the cat and spend your days plagued by the memory of your worst mistakes and dark past? do you find yourself constantly being begged to stay in a state of protective confinement to save your life by a young man with a lightning scar, bad hair and crippling abandonment issues? if so, congratulations! you might be one of harry potter's chosen family members, sirius black and ginevra molly weasley! 

basically - i want to talk about sirius and ginny. these are two characters who don’t share a lot of scenes in canon but who, i think, have some clear (if overlooked) parallels: stubborn, fiercely protective of harry, self-sacrificing, admired, principled, haunted (in different ways) by traumatic pasts and betrayals, with complicated relationships with their families and entirely uncomplicated devoted relationships with someone else’s cat. their narrative arcs are successive, with ginny ascending in significance in the series during sirius’ period of decline and ultimate death. and ultimately, they’re also the two people who become, over the course of the canon series, family to a protagonist desperately seeking to build one. sirius and ginny are the two people harry in canon most worries about, wants to protect, and thinks of as someone who embodies the promise of family and home.

sirius and ginny aren’t mirror images of each other. ofc, ginny also has parallels with the only other family members harry claims in the series, lily and james (i mean, especially james - she’s literally a cocky funny flirtatious chaser with a years-long debilitating mega crush who can also catch a snitch like a champ. come on now). it’s also clear in canon that sirius means more to ginny as a hero/role model/ally against her mother than ginny ever means to sirius. nevertheless, the text puts in work to let the reader know we should think about these characters together as somehow aligned. from the beginning of ootp, there are clues and signals in the text that foreshadow ginny’s emergence as someone important to harry, and that subtly let the reader know that the baton of being harry’s ‘person’ is about to be passed from sirius to ginny, two kindred spirits, after sirius’ death. so that's what this meta is about! (consider this my 700th attempt to show that, as the popular fandom complaint/all of reddit still insist, ginny as a character, and especially the harry/ginny romance, did not ‘come out of nowhere’.)

the following meta is part one of two (and yet it's still too long! sorry about it). o in this part, i look at the period from the end of goblet of fire thru the start of half blood prince, exploring how the text sets up the sirius and ginny parallels as a way of foreshadowing ginny’s emergence as harry’s main love interest and place as a family substitute. the second part (tbc) will be what the memory of sirius does for harry’s view of his relationship with ginny, and the kind of positive - and negative - ways this shapes harry’s ideas about love and what family do for each other. i wrote this meta as a way of thinking through some characterisation choices for my current WIP, beasts. if you're following along with that fic, this meta can be seen as a companion piece especially to my thinking behind chapters ten and eleven, so hope proves helpful for some of my thinking behind the sirius and ginny friendship that appears in that project. it's also dedicated to @ashesandhackles, queen of metas, who has reminded me to post this meta precisely 9 million times because she is a long-suffering saint.

ok - sirius and ginny. let’s goooooo!

sirius and ginny before ootp

before OotP, ginny is absent from any plot connected to sirius. ginny doesn’t know the truth about sirius’ innocence, nor does she know that harry, her brother and her friend are in regular contact with sirius and that harry now as a surrogate father/big brother figure to confide in and seek comfort in.  in fact, in one of ginny’s few appearances in GoF, the narration is unusually insistent that the reader knows how little ginny knows about sirius:

“And have you heard from — ?” Ron began, but at a look from Hermione he fell silent. Harry knew Ron had been about to ask about Sirius. Ron and Hermione had been so deeply involved in helping Sirius escape from the Ministry of Magic that they were almost as concerned about Harry’s godfather as he was. However, discussing him in front of Ginny was a bad idea. Nobody but themselves and Professor Dumbledore knew about how Sirius had escaped, or believed in his innocence. “I think they’ve stopped arguing,” said Hermione, to cover the awkward moment, because Ginny was looking curiously from Ron to Harry. “Shall we go down and help your mum with dinner?” 

the only other tiny crumb of sirius and ginny we get is the news that the owl sirius bought in PoA and gifted to ron as a replacement pet for scabbers has been embraced and named by ginny. sirius gifting a tiny little spitfire of an owl that annoys ron? it's giving foreshadowing, your honour.

the reader, though, knows who sirius is to harry by GoF. throughout this book, for the first time in the series, harry has a person he can claim as something like a family: someone to worry about, someone who cares about him,who can advise, guide and mentor him, as well as offer him support and consolation in difficult times (‘someone like a parent…’) although sirius has not been able to offer harry a stable alternative home to the dursleys due to his status as a wanted man, he’s still filling a role that previously had been vacant in the series: he’s harry’s person, the surrogate parent chosen for him by james and lily. he’s close by, either by the floo or eventually living (at great personal cost) as padfoot in hogsmeade, and he’s present emotionally for harry in ways that prove incredibly meaningful to his young godson. in times of great of distress, sirius is there for harry to meet emotional needs that ron and hermione (understandably, no shade to them) can’t always meet. the floo scene early on in GoF, during harry’s row with ron, is a particularly good example of this:

“Never mind me, how are you?” said Sirius seriously. “I’m —”  For a second, Harry tried to say “fine” — but he couldn’t do it. …Before he could stop himself, he was talking more than he’d talked in days — about how no one believed he hadn’t entered the tournament of his own free will, how Rita Skeeter had lied about him in the Daily Prophet, how he couldn’t walk down a corridor without being sneered at — and about Ron, Ron not believing him, Ron’s jealousy . . . Sirius looked at him, eyes full of concern… He had let Harry talk himself into silence without interruption’.

harry derives enormous comfort from sirius’ presence in his life during GoF. he writes to sirius, he repeatedly turns to him for advice, he worries for him more than he does any other person. sirius fulfils harry’s desire to be kept abreast of important information about voldemort and death eaters, doesn’t sugarcoat news for harry, and makes him feel important, cared for and understood. (harry even shows off to sirius telling him about how much of a slay the first task was. ugh). by the time of the third task, sirius is sending harry daily owls, a constant flow of reassurance and concern (‘He reminded Harry in every letter that whatever might be going on outside the walls of Hogwarts was not Harry’s responsibility, nor was it within his power to influence it. If Voldemort is really getting stronger again, he wrote, my priority is to ensure your safety.’) when harry returns from the graveyard at the novel’s end, it’s sirius who races to his side to advocate for him and offer him both words of comfort and physical affection as he processes the traumatic series of events that constitute the climax of the book’s plot. (my personal favourite part is where harry says ‘wormtail cut me with a knife’ and the text says sirius made a ‘vehement exclamation’, which i can only assume is children’s book speak for ‘fucking hell’.) harry goes to bed: sirius stays with him, a literal guard dog as he recuperates. after the most traumatic events of the series to date, the reader is at least consoled that harry potter has a person now, someone he loves for him to worry about and to worry for him, who catches him on the other side of traumatic events and makes them that bit much more bearable.

sirius and ginny during ootp

with sirius' role in harry's life established in GoF, OotP begins with harry, cooped up and restless at privet drive, angry with ron, hermione, sirius, and dumbledore for abandoning him at privet drive and keeping him in the dark. harry arrives at grimmauld place to find an anxious ron and hermione, with whom harry is angry and frustrated for having left him out of their summer hangs and having neglected him, by his assessment, in surrey. it’s the most conflict we’ve seen in the trio in terms of harry vs ron and hermione, and sets up one of the important themes of the book, which is harry no longer being solely emotionally fulfilled by the people he is closest to, including his two surrogate parents best mates but also his godfather. when he encounters sirius for the first time after the order meeting, he finds him surly, bitter, and depressed, furious that he is confined to his childhood home, and (understandably) much less able or willing to offer harry much in the way of comfort, apology or cheering words (‘Harry, who had expected a better welcome, noted how hard and bitter Sirius’s voice sounded.’) in this sense, the book opens with harry disappointed and/or more distant from all the people on whom he most depends and is usually closest to, and that there therefore is already an absence of a certain kind of emotional support in harry’s life that the plot demands be filled.

fresh off the back of harry’s row with ron and hermione is ginny’s reintroduction to the reader. after years of being so shy in harry’s presence she was often nearly mute, the reader finds that ginny is not only now speaking, but that her presence turns out to be remarkably refreshing. from her opening scene where ginny enters harry’s bedroom at grimmauld place, the reader discovers the new ginny is confident, up to no good, in cahoots with her most troublemaking brothers trying to intercept the order meeting, enterprising in her mischief (and very happy to lie to her mother’s face about it). she’s thoroughly unfazed by harry’s great display of rage that has just startled and upset ron and hermione. (side note: in both ootp and hbp, ginny’s opening scene is her entering harry’s bedroom, which is the kind of foreshadowing i personally find delicious). everyone else is behaving pretty much as they have been up to this point, but it’s ginny who is showcasing behaviours new to the reader, a signal that she might be about to play a different role in the series than she has done up to this point.

cut to the dinner scene. sirius and ginny are in the room together for the first time. sirius is moody: though he’s still able to laugh, enjoying displays of mischief and humour (the twins and the knife), he’s more bitter than harry and the reader have seen him since PoA. it’s an important scene for lots of reasons (not least the sirius v molly beef), but it’s also one where sirius and ginny are repeatedly drawn into mental association in the reader’s mind. it’s also a great scene because the behaviour of crookshanks the cat literally serves to foreshadow the behaviour of harry james potter in ways that are frankly extremely fun.

so! the sirius and ginny hints start small. from the start of the scene, ginny is amused by mundungus the crook (a man, we will learn, so disdained by her mother):

“Some’n say m’ name?” Mundungus mumbled sleepily. “I ’gree with Sirius. . . .” He raised a very grubby hand in the air as though voting, his droopy, bloodshot eyes unfocused. Ginny giggled. “The meeting’s over, Dung,” said Sirius, as they all sat down around him at the table. “Harry’s arrived.” 

sirius and harry, sat at the end of the table, are both greeted by crookshanks, sirius’ old accomplice from PoA:

'​​Harry felt something brush against his knees and started, but it was only Crookshanks, Hermione’s bandy-legged ginger cat, who wound himself once around Harry’s legs, purring, then jumped onto Sirius’s lap and curled up. Sirius scratched him absentmindedly behind the ears as he turned, still grim-faced, to Harry…

when fred and george’s levitation goes awry, flinging a knife at sirius (now that’s how you foreshadow a death), crookshanks bolts: 

‘Harry and Sirius were both laughing… Crookshanks had given an angry hiss and shot off under the dresser, from whence his large yellow eyes glowed in the darkness…’

during the meal, ginny’s with hermione, having a laugh with tonks, a character harry has just met but whom he has already decided to both admire and like. after the meal, when harry’s cheered up a bit and had his crumble (the man loves dessert), crookshanks finally emerges from his hiding place, having been coaxed out from his sulk by - you guessed it - one g. m. weasley:

‘…Ginny, who had lured Crookshanks out from under the dresser, was sitting cross-legged on the floor, rolling butterbeer corks for him to chase.’

a grouchy character, initially drawn to sirius, but prone to lashing out and locking himself away, only to be lured back out into comfort and safety by ginny weasley? wow………. radical

after dinner, the argument between sirius and molly kicks off. sirius is arguing hard for harry’s right to know, though he makes no attempt to advocate for any of the other weasleys or for hermione. ginny’s noticeably singled out in her reaction to this scene, the text highlighting that she is particularly struck by this conflict as if it is of particular personal resonance, including someone standing up to her famously overprotective mother for once:

‘Ron, Hermione, Fred, and George’s heads turned from Sirius to Mrs. Weasley as though following a tennis rally. Ginny was kneeling amid a pile of abandoned butterbeer corks, watching the conversation with her mouth slightly open. Lupin’s eyes were fixed on Sirius.’

of course, molly loses the argument: harry gets to stay for juicy order deets (‘Sirius was right, he was not a child.’) after the row, ginny is the only person forbidden from hearing information about the order’s activities. suddenly, the roles are switched: it’s ginny who’s now furious and bitter to be kept out of the action:

‘“Fine!” shouted Mrs. Weasley. “Fine! Ginny — BED!”  Ginny did not go quietly. They could hear her raging and storming at her mother all the way up the stairs, and when she reached the hall Mrs. Black’s earsplitting shrieks were added to the din. Lupin hurried off to the portrait to restore calm. It was only after he had returned, closing the kitchen door behind him and taking his seat at the table again, that Sirius spoke. “Okay, Harry . . . what do you want to know?”’ 

it’s not just the parallels of confinement between harry, sirius and ginny that are so revealing, it’s also the dual maternal conflicts. ginny loud raging at her own mother sets off the howling relic of sirius’, serving to underline two characters who continue to grapple with maternal relationships that are complex and full of conflict, though by no means solely negative (sirius i see you sleeping in your mother’s bedroom babe. don’t think i think your relationship with walburga is just one of straight hate ok). when ginny later gets knocked down the stairs by fred and george, there’s more direct mrs weasley/walburga parallels, with the two of them literally shouting over each other during the ordeal lol. as such, the readers see that the conflicts being set up for sirius’ character in this book - frustration at confinement, conflict with a mother figure, drawn to more reckless and arguably irresponsible characters (mundungus, the twins) and courses of action - are also conflicts subtly playing out with the new ginny we’re meeting, too.

as the rest of the summer at grimmauld wears on, there are more examples of sirius and ginny foreshadowing. the scenes where the two characters interact serve to place ginny and sirius firmly in the same camp of people harry admires and has fun with, the troublemakers and the rebels. over the prefects issue, ginny not only is sat chatting with the troublemaking adults harry likes most, but actively draws sirius into conversation on the issue, likely knowing the answer will comfort harry, but also showing a curiosity and interest in sirius that suggests she admires him:

“I was never a prefect myself,” said Tonks brightly from behind Harry as everybody moved toward the table to help themselves to food. Her hair was tomato-red and waist length today; she looked like Ginny’s older sister. “My Head of House said I lacked certain necessary qualities.”  “Like what?” said Ginny, who was choosing a baked potato. “Like the ability to behave myself,” said Tonks. Ginny laughed; Hermione looked as though she did not know whether to smile or not and compromised by taking an extra large gulp of butterbeer and choking on it.  “What about you, Sirius?” Ginny asked, thumping Hermione on the back. Sirius, who was right beside Harry, let out his usual barklike laugh…’

ginny’s choice to try and draw sirius into the conversation bears fruit: sirius confirms james was never a prefect, and harry’s sour mood is suddenly lifted. (‘All at once the party seemed much more enjoyable; he loaded up his plate, feeling unusually fond of everyone in the room.’) ginny is thus beginning to provide harry with subtle comfort and reassurance, especially as sirius, struggling with his own confinement,  is taking a less active role in trying to cheer harry up. what i also like is that we have evidence of how ginny views sirius - she’s curious about him and his past, she clearly thinks he and the other new rebellious adults are cool as shit, and she’s drawn increasingly away from her mother’s cautious overprotective approach towards these resistance fighters who prioritise the fight over safety. (it is noticeable to me that ginny does not become a prefect in HBP, suggesting sirius' example proved instructive).

we see more small parallels between sirius and ginny during the cleaning scenes. the battle against grimmauld place is an important symbol of one of the important themes of OotP as a book: a battle over past traumas and their persistent and unwieldy symptoms that are seemingly never-ending. while it’s harry’s experiences that, of course, take centre stage, sirius’, too, loom omnipresent throughout the text. it’s significant, then, that ginny’s own past gets brought up for the first time in three books here, albeit briefly: 

'They found an unpleasant-looking silver instrument, something like a many-legged pair of tweezers, which scuttled up Harry’s arm like a spider when he picked it up, and attempted to puncture his skin; Sirius seized it and smashed it with a heavy book entitled Nature’s Nobility: A Wizarding Genealogy. There was a musical box that emitted a faintly sinister, tinkling tune when wound, and they all found themselves becoming curiously weak and sleepy until Ginny had the sense to slam the lid shut…'

in this moment, we see sirius and ginny singled in the larger group as quick-thinking, shrewd characters, with a good instincts and common sense (if a bit of a tendency to get scrappy). their respective dark pasts are subtly alluded to. sirius whacks a spider trying to attack harry with a book that might as well be entitled my big book of family trauma. ginny, meanwhile, steps in when everybody present starts to be enchanted by a mysterious object luring them into danger by whacking it shut (gee i wonder why!) given this is the book that will see ginny mention the events of CoS for the first time in errrrr three years, it’s significant that the text is careful to draw ginny into this broader theme that unites sirius and harry, the constant reminders of traumatic pasts at every turn. we also see here the revelation that regulus black was a death eater. coming after news of percy weasley’s betrayal, sirius’ bitter dismissal of his younger brother deliberately mirrors ginny and the other weasleys’ attitude towards percy, this sense of pureblood families split over wizarding politics, often fatally. 

while harry fears his expulsion from hogwarts prior his hearing, he continues to fantasise about coming to live with sirius at grimmauld, and about being with a family member and finding an alternative home to hogwarts. sirius, as hermione astutely observes, tries to manage harry’s expectations and not to get his own hopes up: still, when harry is exonerated, sirius is visibly depressed, showing the beginnings of an emotional dependency on harry that harry feels great guilt over.when leaving grimmauld for the start of the school year, sirius, as padfoot, accompanies harry to king’s cross: unlike in GoF, though, he is spotted, and harry begins to worry much more actively about sirius’ vulnerability to capture, about his recklessness and about his judgement. concerned for sirius, and absent ron and hermione, who are in the prefects carriage, the person who stays with harry and offers him company is ginny. she sacrifices her own train journey (presumably with her own boyfriend) to find a carriage with harry and make sure he’s not lonely, bringing him to neville and luna and sorting him out after his embarassing cho run-in. it’s not a coincidence that once again we see ginny here taking care of harry crookshanks:

'“Where’s Crookshanks?” “Ginny’s got him,” said Harry. “There she is. . . .”  Ginny had just emerged from the crowd, clutching a squirming Crookshanks. “Thanks,” said Hermione, relieving Ginny of the cat. “Come on, let’s get a carriage together before they all fill up. . . '

once harry’s back at school, having left sirius behind to languish miserably in london, we see he's more isolated and alone than ever. he’s tormented by umbridge, endlessly (though often unfairly) frustrated with ron and hermione, ghosted by dumbledore, yet absent the more stable, reassuring sirius he came to know in GoF, unable to write candidly to him and faced with a much less well sirius in the opportunities they do have to speak face-to-face. as sirius’ mental health declines as he is shut up at grimmauld, his ability to support harry and comfort him starts to falter, and he becomes a much more uneven source of advice and support, particularly during his car crash floo appearance, where he’s much ruder than he has previously been (cutting off, ignoring their pleas for him to be more cautious, the infamous ‘the risk would have made it fun for james’ moment). this new sirius, clearly struggling, is much more happy to do up guilt trip to his godson than we have seen him to up this point (‘I’ll write to tell you a time I can make it back into the fire, then, shall I? If you can stand to risk it?’ - you petty little shit, padfoot). all of this serves to increase harry’s anxiety about sirius’ wellbeing and reinforce harry’s sense of emotional isolation. even sirius’ encouragement on the DA is, as hermione points out, partly bound up in more selfish motivations (‘I think he’s really frustrated at how little he can do where he is… so I think he’s keen to kind of… egg us on.’)

ginny’s largely absent in this section of the novel. in the brief moments she does appear, it’s to inject humour (eg. her impressions at the DA meeting) and in little reminders that she now has a boyfriend, no longer harbours romantic feelings for harry, making sure the reader continues to hold her mentally apart from harry. harry, meanwhile, misguidedly tries to seek out a relationship with cho chang, who is showing clear signs of her own emotional distress and inability to meet harry’s emotional needs given her own grief. still, among this, there’s still room for some small subtle sirius/ginny parallels. once the DA plot picks up, we have another little sign that ginny weasley and sirius black think somewhat alike:

“Yeah, the D.A.’s good,” said Ginny. “Only let’s make it stand for Dumbledore’s Army because that’s the Ministry’s worst fear, isn’t it?” 

“Trained in combat?” repeated Harry incredulously. “What does he think we’re doing here, forming some sort of wizard army? “That’s exactly what he thinks you’re doing,” said Sirius, “or rather, that’s exactly what he’s afraid Dumbledore’s doing — forming his own private army, with which he will be able to take on the Ministry of Magic.” 

with harry's isolation and need for more emotional support established in this first term, christmas at grimmauld offers more opportunity to subtly develop the sirius and ginny parallels, as well as to highlight ginny’s ability to fill the gaps left by sirius’ decline. after the attack on arthur weasley, the group arrive back at grimmauld:

‘Sirius was hurrying toward them all, looking anxious. He was unshaven and still in his day clothes; there was also a slightly Mundungus-like whiff of stale drink about him. “What’s going on?” he said, stretching out a hand to help Ginny up. “Phineas Nigellus said Arthur’s been badly injured —” 

could this be sirius literally lifting ginny up into plot significance? why yes it could

ofc the weasleys then argue with sirius about their right to go see their father. despite his own frustrations at being trapped at grimmauld, sirius proves the voice of reason and rational decision making against both ginny and the twins’ hotheadedness (ginny asks to borrow cloaks to go to the hospital: sirius: ‘Hang on, you can’t go tearing off to St. Mungo’s!’) crucially, though, when sirius points out that there are bigger things at stake - the work of the order and the resistance movement - it’s ginny who listens:

“Your father knew what he was getting into, and he won’t thank you for messing things up for the Order!” said Sirius angrily in his turn. “This is how it is — this is why you’re not in the Order — you don’t understand — there are things worth dying for!”  “Easy for you to say, stuck here!” bellowed Fred. “I don’t see you risking your neck!”  The little colour remaining in Sirius’s face drained from it. He looked for a moment as though he would quite like to hit Fred, but when he spoke, it was in a voice of determined calm. “I know it’s hard, but we’ve all got to act as though we don’t know anything yet. We’ve got to stay put, at least until we hear from your mother, all right?”  Fred and George still looked mutinous. Ginny, however, took a few steps over to the nearest chair and sank into it. Harry looked at Ron, who made a funny movement somewhere between a nod and shrug, and they sat down too. The twins glared at Sirius for another minute, then took seats on either side of Ginny.  “That’s right,” said Sirius encouragingly, “come on, let’s all . . . let’s all have a drink while we’re waiting…’

there’s a lot going on here: ginny’s willingness to follow sirius’ orders, but also her willingness to accept an argument based on some idea of the greater good before any of her brothers. she and sirius are aligned here, and it’s her decision to accept sirius’ reasoning that proves the catalyst for her brothers to follow. we see here how ginny has come to see sirius: someone she looks up to and admires, an adult whose judgement she trusts and whose worldview she subscribes to. (as a character prone to hero worship - see her view of her big brother bill - i think this is noteworthy, and is behind a lot of my characterisation choices for ginny towards sirius in beasts). but we also see that ginny agrees with sirius' worldview. there are some things worth dying for, and self-sacrifice is part of that.

when harry goes to sirius for reassurance about witnessing arthur’s attack, he finds sirius unable to properly console him and convince him that he was not to blame for arthur’s attack. the reader gets the impression of sirius withholding information from harry (‘He could only see a sliver of Sirius’s face; the rest was in darkness’), and the scene ends with sirius clapping harry on the shoulder and leaving him ‘standing alone in the dark’. while sirius throws himself into christmas preparations, obviously delighted to have company, harry shrinks from the cheer and isolates himself. in the end, ofc, the only person that manages to pull harry out of his dark, brooding thoughts is ginny. the text is careful to note she’s sitting beside him on the tube back from st mungo’s, when he looks very unwell. then, in the ‘lucky you’ scene, she showcases some of the same skills harry first came to appreciate in sirius in GoF. she tells it to him straight: she’s sympathetic, but not overly gushing, and she reminds him of her own intensely frightening experience which she endured alone, something harry can relate to, even if the experience of possession is not.  it’s an important scene for lots of reasons, but it’s also, crucially, the intervention that causes harry’s mood to lift, and he gets to enjoy a christmas with his godfather, the thing he had most wanted in the run-up to christmas, and which becomes the only holiday period harry and sirius ever spend together: 

‘I’m not the weapon after all, thought Harry. His heart swelled with happiness and relief, and he felt like joining in as they heard Sirius tramping past their door toward Buckbeak’s room, singing “God Rest Ye Merry, Hippogriffs” at the top of his voice.’

of course, once christmas is over, sirius slips back into a depressed, gloomy state. harry wants a better goodbye than he gives him, merely giving him a quick one armed hug (there’s a real theme throughout harry and sirius’ relationship of very sparing physical contact on sirius’ part, which is obviously a hole in harry's life ginny will fill in - er - a big way). back at school, harry returns to umbridge’s increasingly draconian rule, maks a disastrous attempt at forging a relationship with cho, and continues to feel lonely, paranoid, and angry. unable to speak to sirius properly via letter or floo - and unwilling to open the present sirius has given him to communicate directly with him, the two-way mirror - harry is increasingly sullen, a mood that only worsens after seeing snape's worst memory.

the easter egg scene is obviously important for hinny for lots of different reasons. but here i just want to highlight how the scene serves to show ginny as both the conduit to sirius for harry, and someone whose behaviour echoes that of sirius in GoF when harry first began to open up to and seek comfort in him. harry is distressed by his now complicated feelings both towards the father he previously revered and towards sirius, who seemed to encourage james’ bullying behaviour. ginny hands harry a chocolate easter egg covered in snitches: chocolate, a canonical source of comfort against dark thoughts, and an egg that reminds him of the love of parent. the act makes him suddenly emotional, though he at first denies he’s upset. ginny presses carefully and sensitively, asking the right questions to get him to confess the source of his worry, waiting for harry to take his time to speak - all behaviours that echo sirius’ own effective listening techniques. ginny’s acquaintance with sirius, and knowledge of how significant he is to harry, is important here, too, and a subtle sign to the reader that he trusts ginny with knowledge about sirius after a long time of having her in the dark about his godfather.  the reader leaves the scene having seen ginny breakthrough to harry emotionally in a way for the second time in the novel, in a way no other character has done (‘he felt a bit more hopeful…’) 

of course, the course of action ginny has set in motion is itself risky and reckless (‘anything is possible if you’ve got enough nerve’ is very marauders as a philosophy). the decision to go ahead with the plan the twins come up with is one harry sees as a decision on whether to be more like james and sirius - a risk taker - or to abandon the hero worship for the marauders he has lived with for so long. in the end, of course, it’s a win for the reckless troublemakers: he chooses to go ahead with the plan the twins have crafted and that ginny has set in motion, and to speak to sirius.

and yet. sirius is still alive - there is not need for ginny yet. for the remainder of the book, ginny has to beg to be included in the trio's plans and to be allowed to be a part of the plot to rescue sirius. she’s is often in conflict with harry, showing a lot of sirius’ bitterness at attempts at containment and to keep her out of the fighting. she grates against harry’s insistence that she is too young and inexperienced, and having to remind the trio that she, too, has come to care about sirius and wants to see him safe: 

“I’ve got a broom!” said Ginny.  “Yeah, but you’re not coming,” said Ron angrily.  “Excuse me, but I care what happens to Sirius as much as you do!” said Ginny, her jaw set so that her resemblance to Fred and George was suddenly striking. 

of course, it all ends in tragedy: sirius, desperate to go to harry’s aid and absolutely gunning for a fight after months of confinement, is killed, leaving harry alone. there a subtle clues that something has shifted in ginny’s relationship to harry and the trio in the scenes after sirius’ death, including ginny positioned as the mirror image to harry in the hospital: 

‘Harry was sitting on the end of Ron’s bed and they were both listening to Hermione read the front page of the Sunday Prophet. Ginny, whose ankle had     been mended in a trice by Madam Pomfrey, was curled up at the foot of Hermione’s bed…’

despite this, in the immediate aftermath of sirius’ death, harry is extremely alone. he is unable to work out what he needs (‘Whenever he was in company he wanted to get away, and whenever he was alone he wanted company.’) he tries to go to hagrid’s, but regrets it (‘He was starting to wish he was alone again’), leaving after hagrid reminds him of sirius’ core traits, an inability to stay out of the fight when he believes in the cause:

“But still, Harry . . . he was never one ter sit around at home an’ let other people do the fightin’. He couldn’ have lived with himself if he hadn’ gone ter help —” 

unlike at the end of GoF, harry is isolated by his grief and the revelation of the prophecy's contents by the end of this book. he goes alone to a secluded corner of the lakeshore, ‘sheltered from the gaze of passersby behind a tangle of shrubs’, and ‘[stares] out over the gleaming water’, and cries alone. there is no sirius or other person to catch him and console him in his grief. his person has died, and there’s a gap in his life again, just waiting to be filled: 

‘Wanting to impress Cho seemed to belong to a past that was no longer quite connected with him. So much of what he had wanted before Sirius’s death felt that way these days. . . . The week that had elapsed since he had last seen Sirius seemed to have lasted much, much longer: It stretched across two universes, the one with Sirius in it, and the one without.’

ginny and sirius parallels in HBP and DH

after sirius’ death, the parallels between sirius and ginny become more important as ginny moves into the centre frame as a character. at the start of HBP, harry arrives at the burrow and discusses his grief over sirius’ death with dumbledore in the burrow broom shed, acknowledging how profoundly the loss of a family member who cares singularly about him is affecting him. ('He felt stupid for admitting it, but the fact that he had had someone outside Hogwarts who cared what happened to him, almost like a parent, had been one of the best things about discovering his godfather . . . and now the post owls would never bring him that comfort again. . . .' beasts readers: there's a reason harry clings to letters!) of course, having reminded the reader of the gap in harry’s life that now needs to be filled, harry goes to sleep, the active reflection on his grief for sirius put to one side so the novel's plot can get underway. he'll go to bed mourning sirius and wake up in a sunlit bedroom. of course, ginny will walk into this bedroom too, only now things will be different: harry potter is back to the search for a loved one, for a family, and he's about to realise ginny is the one he wants to fill it. thus the start of the plot of ginny stepping into the role vacated by sirius beginneth.

so much of who ginny is in HBP is reminiscent of sirius. she frequently leaps into battle as harry’s protector (‘You’re taking orders from something someone wrote in a book?’, ‘Give it a rest, Hermione’), she’s scrappy (RIP zacharias smith), she’s funny and laughs easily in a way that less recalls sirius in the time harry knew him than sirius as harry sees him as a young man, in photographs or memories. she's the one who commits to the insane christmas decorations, determined to cheer everyone up over the festive period as sirius did the year before. she even enjoys the widespread admiration and lust of her peers, a trait that directly recalls sirius being eyed up by his peers in snape's memory. by the novel’s end, after dumbledore’s death, it will be ginny who goes to harry’s side after the climax of the plot and catch him in his grief just as sirius did in GoF, this time over dumbledore’s death: 

‘He did not want to leave Dumbledore’s side, he did not want to move anywhere. Hagrid’s hand on his shoulder was trembling. Then another voice said, “Harry, come on.’ A much smaller and warmer hand had enclosed his and was pulling him upward. He obeyed its pressure without really thinking about it.’

their breakup has sirius all over it. taking place at the lakeshore, the place where harry wept alone over sirius a year prior, harry draws on the circumstances of sirius’ demise as a reason he must break up with ginny (‘Voldemort uses people his enemies are close to.’) the breakup does little to shift what ginny has become in harry’s mind, though, and he spends all of DH thinking of her as he once thought of sirius: the person whose safety he most craves, the person he misses, someone he claims as his, and whom he associates with (now banished) hopes of a home and a family:

“It’s not a problem,” said Harry, sickened by the pain in his head. “It’s your family, ’course you’re worried. I’d feel the same way.” He thought of Ginny. “I do feel the same way.”

of course, echoes of sirius will also come into play during open war. it’s now ginny, not sirius, who is the one left behind for her own protection: in the run-up to the battle, harry finds himself once again faced with the prospect of confining his loved one for their safety, despite their desperation to fight and do the right thing. but these are thoughts for part 2…….

[farfromstrange]

‘I Love You In Every Universe’

Chapter One: I Bet On Losing Dogs

Masterlist | List Of Installments

Pairing: Matt Murdock x F!Mutant!Reader

Summary: The day you lost Matt, you lost everything. There is no moving on from what Spider-Man put you through, and you plan to execute your revenge.

Warnings: ANGST, Major Character Death, blood, suicidal thoughts, mutant!Reader, evil Peter Parker, 18+ because of darker themes, multiverse (No Way Home Era), slight AU

Word Count: 5.8k

A/n: FINALLY! This took me way too long to edit. Today, we’re setting the scene for future installments, but you’re not getting all the details, even if the first 3000 words of this are somewhat a flashback. So, if you think that there is too little dialogue for a Prologue, that’s probably why. This chapter is integral to the future installments.

Read Me On AO3!

The world was silent when he died—an endless pit of nothingness, and above a sky full of stars. 

You don’t remember if it was raining. The moon was hiding behind a thick cloud, and the stars were burning, but you can’t remember if you were drowning in a river of tears or if it was the sky that broke that night. Everything else about that night, you remember quite vividly.

Hell’s Kitchen had become a battleground. The city lay at your feet in shambles; Wilson Fisk had become mayor after you tried hard to stop him, and the world fell apart. But it was his second in command, Peter Parker, who gave new meaning to the word ‘notorious’. Spider-Man infested your home like a parasite, slipping through your finger like dry sand. He knew what he was doing. He and Fisk held the city in the palms of their dirty hands, slowly crushing it like mealy little ants. 

When you met Matt Murdock, it was years back when things were still better, yet they were never perfect. He found you broken at the side of the road—or that was what it felt like, anyway. 

From the start, you have always been different. In a world where everyone wanted to be someone, your uniqueness painted a target on your back. Your nature was misunderstood by most; they either wanted to be you, or they were vying for your inevitable downfall. 

You stood out of every crowd. The target on your back remained no matter how hard you tried to turn yourself into a shrouded mystery. Eventually, you had to start running. You operated out of the dark like a criminal—a vigilante, and a mind-reader who could set the world on fire if she only tried hard enough. 

For most of your life, you were hunted. Scientists wanted to run experiments on you, tie you to a gurney, and study your brain until they understood how your abilities worked. Freaks wanted to sell you for millions to equally disturbed individuals. 

You couldn’t take it anymore. You were merely a scared child who grew into a terrified teenager who didn’t know any better: dead parents, dead everything, and a mind built to read those of others. 

Back then, your only instinct was blatant survival, so you ran. You ran fast and you ran far, an orphan so many would have rather seen dead than operating in the dark, but oh, you had to become something to feel like you were worth something.

When you landed in New York, beaten and alone with a bone-crushing fear of the future, the Devil found you, taking you home with him. He saved you. He picked up your pieces, glued you back together, and wrapped you in a protective glaze. All the heartbreak you’d endured, and the trauma you’d suffered getting there seemed worth it whenever he held you in his arms. 

You were Matt Murdock’s world, and he was yours. He showed you heaven and hell; he saved you from the purgatory you pushed yourself into and got you settled with a one-way ticket to paradise. After all these years, you finally found your salvation in a person.

He was your broken Catholic boy with a heart made out of gold. The universe didn’t deserve him, and yet he gave the world everything he had. He sacrificed his soul to God and his city. He prayed, he begged, and he fought hard for what he believed right at the time. 

Matt saw himself as the Devil; embodied him, too. Though in your eyes, he was an angel with an invisible halo only you could feel in every fiber of your being. His thoughts, his heart, and his soul; he gave it all to you.

You cherished him with all you could give him. It wasn’t much, but he loved you more than anyone had ever before. You were more than a mutant, more than a broken girl at the side of the road, and more than a potential test subject. With him, you finally learned what living was like—what it was supposed to feel like to be human.

The world tried to clip your wings. They took away your voice and your ability to breathe. Matt brought you back to life. He was not the love of your life; Matt Murdock was your soulmate. You lived for him. You existed for him. He was your heart, your soul, and the reason for your survival. 

It wasn’t healthy, how dependent you were on him. He made you see colors you couldn’t see with anyone else. You loved him fiercely. You loved him in a way that was pure agony. And you loved him in a way that you knew would screw you up forever.

It didn’t cross your mind that you could ever lose him. To you, Matt Murdock was immortal. He was the man you could see yourself growing old with. 

You got married in a small ceremony at the courthouse—it wasn’t just for love, it was also convenient, but he forever tied himself to you as you tied yourself to him with a golden wedding band—and you talked about maybe having children one day. A mini-you and a mini-him in your little farmhouse in the suburbs. For that, he would have left Hell’s Kitchen once it was safe enough to do so.

It was a foolish dream now that you think about it; you were foolish to think that happiness would ever be in the cards for you, but then he kissed you again, good morning and good night and in between, and all you could see was a sea of roses. 

He walked through fire (sometimes literally) for you and came back on the other side, hardly always unscathed but always alive, and always with a smile on his chapped lips. He crawled home to you even when he was broken. He crawled home to you when he was full of adrenaline. And he crawled home to you when he thought he couldn’t or wouldn’t anymore, both mentally and physically. He knew he could always come home to you, his best friend, his lover, his confidant, and soon enough, his wife.

You stitched his wounds and kissed his scars to breathe new life into him. You brought him back from the edge. You gave him something to live for. He told you that you saved him, and hearing that after getting on your knees every night, thanking him for the same thing, did something to you. It healed you from the inside out.

You kept him alive the same way he did you. You stood strong together against your enemies every night, fighting as a team. He taught you how to fight, and you taught him how to connect. Matt didn’t know what it was like not to push someone he loved away, but you made sure he understood. He connected to himself; he connected to his past, present, and future with you, and that made him a better man. 

You lost and you won, but at least you had each other to fall back on. You did it together. You did everything together. Boyfriend and girlfriend. Husband and wife. Lady Red and Daredevil.

The fragile little yet oh-so-big thing you had was raw, vulnerable, yet the most tragically beautiful love affair you could have possibly had the pleasure of calling yours. And pleasure, you had plenty. Love, you had plenty. You had everything until everything was ripped from your bare hands—until the very thing sustaining you shattered on a white cloth, spilling crimson blood everywhere, and what you swore could only be pried from your cold, dead hands slipped away in a moment in time. 

You both died, in a way, but it was Matt’s body you held as he took his last breaths in the dead of a hot summer’s night. You can’t remember if it rained, but he was certainly drowning in your tears.

“He’s going to kill you,” you warned him. “Parker and Fisk are out to destroy you. If Spider-Man sees you with your guard down, he won’t hesitate.”

Matt slid his skilled fingers into his pair of leather gloves. They were worn down, but they smelled like him. You could feel the unease sizzling in the pit of your stomach—a parasite. 

“I have to do this,” he told you, his voice laden. “The bastard is ruining innocent lives in my city. I can’t stand idly by and let it happen.”

You weren’t fighting, but the statement still hung deafeningly loud in the room, hanging itself from the ceiling with a noose that was threatening to take you down with it. 

“He challenged you because he knows you’d do anything—” 

He cut  you off, “He’s underestimating me.”

You stared into his eyes. It hurt. It hurt so much. The dark cloud was heading straight for you, but he couldn’t sense it. “You almost died the last time you came face-to-face with him,” you tried again.

“So did you,” he said. “Fisk is nothing without Spider-Man behind him, and those two have done enough damage already.”

“Matt, please—”

“I have to, sweetheart. This is the only way.”

“There is always another way.”

He shook his head. “Not this time. The city is about to fall. If I let them win, there is no coming back from this. You know that.”

“At least let me come with you then,” you said. You begged him to listen, but he wouldn’t see how worried you were. “We’ve been through hell together. We can fight this war together, too.”

“No,” Matt insisted. “He will see an easy target. You mean too much to me. Spider-Man is gonna use you to get through to me. I can do this. You just have to trust me.”

“I trust you. It’s him I don’t.”

“I’m gonna talk to him, and if I have to fight him again for the whole fucking world to see, so be it.”

The words slipped you before you could stop them, cutting through the air like a sharp-edged sword. “What if you die trying?” 

He stopped dead in his tracks.

“I don’t want to lose you!” you cried. 

You had not cried in front of him often before that night, but your walls cracked, and you broke. 

Matt cradled your face as he whispered, begging you to listen, “You won’t. I promise. I’ll be back in a few hours.”

The invisible string pulled you tighter together. Fear, anger, and desperation; he felt so many things—so many things running deeper than the ocean—but you swallowed them. 

“I’m not okay with this,” you murmured.

“I know. Here–” he guided your hands to his face, “Feel me,” he said.

You remember gasping when the floodgates opened. “I always feel you.” 

You stroked his delicate cheeks. He was here, home with you; why couldn’t he stay like that forever? Why did you have to let him go? Past, present, and future began to blur. 

I love you. He tuned out all other thoughts so you could hear him.

He was praying. He was hoping. Only a handful of times had he felt this way. You were so tightly interlaced that you could feel all of him without even trying, but that night, you tried. That night, he tuned out all of his self-deprecating thoughts. He allowed the silence of your connection to engulf him—for the city to disappear, and he allowed you in. 

I love you so much. Do you hear me? You’re everything to me. I love you.

Those three words weighed heavy like bricks on your heart. 

“Remember, three knocks,” he said aloud. “Don’t open for anyone else.”

“Three knocks,” you whispered in agreement. 

Three knocks like three words: I love you.

You read his mind, swallowing the words, but a big part of you wanted to spit them back out. You didn’t want to hear it. The universe was sending you a warning sign. 

Matt exhaled. He cupped your hands in his. The connection deepened, the string pulled tighter, and you became one. That night was the first night you saw glimpses of the future, and you didn’t want to accept it. You were such a fool to think everything could ever be fucking alright, both for you and for this magnificent force of a man you chose to call home—because home isn’t a place, it’s a feeling, and often enough, it’s a person.

He nuzzled his nose against yours. He kissed you. Softly, gently, passionately. You kissed him like you knew it would be the last time.

“I love you,” he repeated. 

The red flags waved, but you looked away. “I don’t want to say it back because you have to come back to me,” you confessed, “and this feels too much like a goodbye.”

He forced you to look at him instead. “Say it back, baby.”

“I love you,” you caved.

You shouldn’t have. You should have put up more of a fight. 

I will always come back to you. Cross my heart. He crossed his heart, but he hoped too much to die. Perhaps in not saying it out loud, he thought the truth would hurt less.

You refused to believe it until time had run out. You refused to cave until it happened. And when it happened, the city, for the first time since you’d arrived there, went completely quiet.

You followed him. Of course, you did. After a few hours of pacing the floor, you followed him. He was still in your head. You heard him from across the city, his thoughts loud and clear, and you could feel his pain like an inferno lighting up the night sky. 

When you arrived on that godforsaken rooftop though, you could only watch in horror as Spider-Man lifted the love of your life toward the sky. He wouldn’t accept your bargain. You offered yourself instead of him, but no; Peter Parker was not in the mood for bargaining. 

He lifted Matt toward the sky, and he drilled the dagger right through his chest. 

“No!” you screamed again. 

Silence. 

His blood ran through your fingers like quicksand, and sitting there, cradling Matt’s chest to yours as his heartbeat slowly faded into oblivion, you knew the end was near. The world could be so fucking unfair. You both died, but it was only his heart that stopped. You lost him that night, and your entire world stopped in an instant. 

You liked it better when he was angry with you. When he was loud, when he was laughing, even when he was just being sarcastic. You liked him better when he was alive. He turned into a ghost in your arms, forever and all eternity, and you fell face-first into the abyss. 

Maybe it was raining that night. Maybe you were being buried under the weight of your guilt and the never-ending flow of your tears. 

“I can’t…” you sobbed, tracing his cold cheek as the rain fell around you. “I can’t feel you.”

His heart stopped beating, and the invisible string pulverized. You watched it as it went with the wind. Without him. Without you. 

You screamed until your lungs gave out. Then, silence settled in. 

The night was quiet when he died; nothing but a sky full of stars and the endless black pit of death above and below you. 

The blood and his missing pulse weren’t the worst part, by far; the worst part was that you could no longer feel him, and that thought won’t ever not haunt you. 

You were certain that night. When you lost him, and you screamed your heart out, praying to a God you’ve never believed in, you swore to yourself that you would avenge him.

You were going to kill Peter Parker, and nothing in this world could ever stop you from watching this miserable motherfucker bleed to death. 

The bed shakes violently as you awaken. Dreams, so many dreams. Your nights are far from peaceful. They haven’t been for weeks. Months. What day is it? You don’t remember. 

Nightmares follow you like hunters after a fox. Your pajamas stick to your skin, and you’re sweating even though it is spring, and spring doesn’t have hot enough temperatures for you to be sweating quite like this. When you pull the comforter away in a sudden panic, the wetness seeping into your skin, there is nothing but white. No blood, no tears, just gaping emptiness in the farmhouse.

You pant heavily, dragging your nails across your skin. Your fingernails are tinted a charcoal black. In your heart, there had once been a bright red glow—like a ruby crystal sustaining your soul. You used it to channel other people’s thoughts. You could read them, you could hear them, and you could feel them. That Ruby has gone out now though; it has turned into a black smoke threatening to overtake anything it comes in contact with. 

The sun isn’t strong enough to break through the gray clouds. As you step out into the garden that stretches around your home, a gentle wind brushes through the bare branches of the dead trees. The wood is starting to splinter, turning hollow as sickness after sickness runs rampant through nature. 

You trace a finger over the poison ivy that has grown over the tombstone. The green fades, turning into a rotten brown. It dries out, and it dies right before your eyes, as do the roses you have been keeping in a vase ever since you laid a finger on the last bouquet. 

He liked the smell of roses, but you hated the look of it until Matt died, and suddenly, everything looked and smelled like a field of roses, reminding you of him. He was your daisy, your sunflower, setting fire to your freezing soul. He was sunshine, you were midnight rain. He liked to claim differently, but you wouldn’t let him. You may have been his sunshine, but out of the both of you, he shone the brightest. 

The poison ivy dies, and if you even manage to kill a plant with the word ‘poison’ in its name, what does that say about you? What has become of you; plotting a stranger’s death and killing the nature around you as you dive into books about mind-reading and dark magic to understand who you truly are? Dark magic sounds like a story out of a piece of fiction, but it’s far from that. 

You’ve known of your ability to manipulate the human mind ever since you discovered the creature hidden within you, the one who could touch another human being and see their thoughts so clearly. The one time you tried to manipulate someone, you caused them indescribably agony. You ruined their life. You broke them. You made them complicit and took all they were away from them, turning their fragile mind into ashes. That day, your fingers turned charcoal for the first time. 

If you try hard enough, you can kill him—Peter Parker. He took your husband and your city, now sitting in his ivory tower, overlooking the damage he’s done. He killed everyone and everything, even Wilson Fisk. He has taken the people of Hell’s Kitchen hostage, but no one has dared to make a move just yet, not since their beloved Daredevil disappeared off the face of the earth. With him, his Lady Red went as fast as she had come. 

You don’t want to fix what Spider-Man destroyed; you can’t get back what he took, nor do you want to, and the city doesn’t mean anything without Matt in it. 

You have to be the monster to kill another monster, only then you can join your husband in his tomb. Didn’t you vow to stay together, even in death? 

The city can burn, for all you care, but first, Peter Parker has to die. 

You scratch at the dirt in the engraving of his name. Matthew Michael Murdock. 1982 — 2023. Beloved husband and hero. 

You hate this. You hate that his grave is in your backyard, but this was the only place you knew his corpse would be safest. No one can touch him here, and you can talk to him, pretending you can still feel him. If you focus hard enough, you can still hear his voice in your head, telling you to move on. 

How could you though? How could you abandon all you’ve been through? You can fight, you can win or lose, but nothing will ever be the same again. And it is far from worth it to stay alive when he isn’t. You’ve made your decision; whether or not you’ve come to peace with it, that’s another story entirely. 

“Tonight is the night,” you murmur to the gravestone. Of course, you don’t receive an answer. 

Lately, you have been swearing to yourself you wouldn’t cry anymore, that there are no more tears left to shed, but every day, you end up crying anyway. It’s an endless cycle of despair.

You wipe your cheeks, untangling the chain that holds your golden wedding band close to your chest from around your neck. Gently, you guide it to your lips and press a kiss against the ring. 

“I love you,” you whisper.

For when you meet again in another life. 

You dig a small hole into the dry dirt where, six feet under, Matt is resting now. He always told you he would end up in hell when he died. You were never particularly religious before you met him, and when he struggled with his faith while you were together, you believed even less in an all-merciful God. Now though, with Matt gone and the world on the verge of falling apart and crushing you under its weight as you approach the biggest challenge of your life, the thought of ending up in an eternal life of nothingness after death—the thought of there being nothing but mindless darkness, no body, soul—scares you too much. Imagining the pits of hell or paradise with the love of your life, and reuniting with him, is a prospect you would rather see when you close your eyes than a world on fire. 

The necklace lands in the hole, and you cover it up. You couldn’t bring yourself to get rid of your ring before, but you won’t risk carrying it when you do what you are about to do.

Tonight, Peter Parker is going to show himself to all of New York City as the new mayor in all of his Spider-Man glory. He begged for you to come out, and he told the city he would be merciful in prosecuting you for the crimes you committed in the past alongside Daredevil. When you come out tonight though, you won’t surrender yourself. You will use the platform he is giving you and you will fight as you reveal him to Hell’s Kitchen and show the world who he is. You will tell Matt’s story, even if it’s the last thing you do. 

You have been burning for him for the longest time, and the flame is about to go out with a bang. 

That night, you put on the red suit Melvin made for you years ago before he lost his mind for what might be the last time. It has holes from where the moths dug their teeth into. The piece around the waist is starting to fade in color, and the leather is worn out, but it reminds you of simpler times. Better times. The black of your fingertips matches the lining of your outfit, and that’s all you need to feel the power sizzle deep within you.

You don’t have to remember the weather report because you can feel the rain soaking your skin through the fabric. The air smells salty, and it tastes the same on your cracked lips. Tonight, you will be Lady Red for the last time. Until the bitter end, you have sworn yourself. Matt did the same thing. You have to do him proud.

You make your way from that little farmhouse—your broken red castle—to the familiar streets of Hell’s Kitchen. Destruction surrounds you. The news didn’t do justice to what Peter has done to the city you once loved. But no one loved it more than Matt Murdock. 

Your fists clench at your sides. Oh, you want to tear this man limb by limb and feed him to the dogs. 

It starts with a low rumbling beneath your boots. You don’t pay much mind to it at first. You hide out on a rooftop across the courthouse. The spotlights are on, and he’s standing there at the podium, looking as though he is so proud of himself for ruining so many lives. You don’t usually experience joy when hurting people, but you will savor watching the life drain from Peter’s lifeless eyes. 

Your hands clench around Matt’s batons. The metal is heavy but flexible. You click your nails against them. Every move needs to be meticulously calculated, but tonight, the barons will remain in the holsters on your thighs. You won’t need them. You won’t need anything but your bare hands. 

You’re going back to your roots tonight.

The ground moves slightly, only a few inches. You could have missed it if you weren’t crouching to get a better look at the world below you. You catch yourself on the ledge, a frown finding its way on your face. 

“What the f–” you shake your head. Since when does thunder shake the ground?

You seem to be the only one who notices, or Peter Parker is better at brainwashing his decibels than you expected. He was born to be a dictator. His presence turned your fairytale into a dystopian tragedy.

“Tonight,” he says into his microphone, “is the last chance for Lady Red to reveal herself for a lesser sentence. A new era is on the horizon. I am your mayor, and I am Spider-Man. Without me, you would be nothing. Daredevil couldn’t save you. Wilson Fisk couldn’t save you. But I can, and after tonight, we will start anew. For this is the era of real heroes as we rebuild this city from the ground up, and we turn the City of New York, including Hell’s Kitchen, into its own world. Starting with the arrest of the criminal who is Daredevil’s accomplice Lady Red. I hope for her sake she will show herself tonight. If not, we will find her, and she will suffer the full extent of the consequences of her actions. That includes the Death Penalty.”

You land gracefully, catching yourself with your hand on the asphalt. The crowd parts with a gasp, and you finally stare into his eyes. 

After he drilled that dagger through Matt’s heart, he told you, “You will always be a monster, never a God.”

You deserve nothing, he thought. It has stuck with you since that night. Growing up, it was the only thing you heard. You were nothing but trash. A disgrace. A monster. What will they say when they see that you have finally become what they feared so much? 

You will burn down whatever is left of the world, including him. God knows you want to. 

Magic pulsates in the atmosphere like a growing spell in a small shoe box. The air vibrates, and the ground shakes again. This isn’t your doing, but the sudden charge that fills your veins as adrenaline sustains you. Your eyes glow red. This is who you were born to be. 

“I heard you were looking for me,” you declare. 

He doesn’t look surprised to see you. “Ah, just like clockwork,” he murmurs. “Are you going to make this hard on all of us or are you here to finally surrender yourself?” 

You purse your lips, playing with the energy between your fingers. “I came to destroy you.” Each step toward him on the big marble steps feels like a mile, and the crowd starts to move further back, dispersing in an attempt to save themselves. Most of them are eager to watch though. What has he done to them? 

“Destroy me?” Peter laughs, addressing the crowd again, “You see who you’ve been calling a hero all this time? This mutant? Look at her!”

All eyes are on you. They’re whispering. They’re speculating. Their thoughts overlap in disarray, and you’re drowning in a sea of judgment. They are trying to tear you down like sharks. You’re leaking blood, and God, they are angry. But it’s not you they’re angry at.

“You call me a mutant,” you say, “but wasn’t it you who was bit by a radioactive spider?”

His smile fades. 

“You are Spider-Man, no?”

“You are a wannabe hero with unregulated powers,” he snaps. His voice roars through the speakers, and the mood in the crowd starts to shift.

The ground vibrates again, stronger this time. You can’t be the only one feeling the quakes, but everyone else seems unmoved. They’re too focused on both of you to notice anything else, and you should do the same. However, the energy doubles and you are closer to bursting than ever. Something is happening, and you have no control over it.

Peter sneers. “You’re a failure,” he calls your name, “just like your husband!”

You stop dead in your tracks. Your eyes darken. “If you want to enforce the death penalty on me, Parker,” you growl, “why don’t you do it yourself?” 

Peter taps his chest, and his suit transforms into shades of black and spider webs. At that moment, panic erupts. People start running, but you tune them out.

The air begins to smell sour. Burnt. It is so high the pain consumes you whole. He doesn’t have to touch you to bring you to your knees, but looking up, you realize that it wasn’t Spider-Man who infused your ears with such a high frequency.

Someone is uttering a powerful spell, you can hear his voice in your head as he thinks of several names all over the place. Time passes by in a flash. Hours, days, weeks, and months. The universe falls out of control. The beeping picks up and you sink deeper into the ground.

You swear then and there that the sky starts to rip in two. The sky resembles a nasty cut on your forehead, a pair of hands ripping the cut further apart, causing the blood to pour out in rivers.

One of the cuts swallows you. With a scream, you fall through several rollercoasters passing by violet stars. 

The cut is a portal; one moment, you are flying through the sky at the highest possible speed, and the next, you hit the ground hard.

It’s not raining anymore. The sun shines down on you, and the heat creeps up your skin like tiny ants. The pain finally releases, but your head is still spinning. So many feelings, so many voices, and so many thoughts threaten to overwhelm you.

Not even an LSD trip hits that bad. You lazily open your heavy eyes to find not the courthouse but the New York skyline right before you.

You look down at your shaky hands. The charcoal is gone. The power in your veins feels different, all-consuming, but in no way bad. You take a deep breath. Even the oxygen tastes different. 

The world stops spinning, and you finally take a look around. A car honks, an SUV heading straight for your wobbly frame.

You’re in the middle of a road. What is it? A freeway.

Oh, shit!

You jump aside, hitting the sidewalk with a loud thud.

“Watch out, bitch!” the driver shouts out of his window. 

Where once used to be the courthouse, you are met with a street in the middle of downtown Hell’s Kitchen, New York. Stores line the side of the street. Tourists, foreigners, and those who are native to the city pass by you, and their gasps and whispers sound so different from the automatic voices Peter Parker raised them to be.

“Oh, no,” you breathe out. “Oh, no, no, no!” The air is getting thinner. 

“What are you thinking about, hm?” he asked into the darkness of the room. 

His heartbeat aligned with yours. His calloused fingertips traced your bare skin. You were in heaven. Beautiful, sinful heaven.  

His jawline appeared even sharper in the colorful lights from the billboard outside. His skin glowed white—paler than usual, even. You could stare into his eyes forever, such a beautiful hazel with hints of forest green. Perfect eyebrows, perfect lips. They bowed at the top, so kissable.

He pressed them to your bare shoulder blade, down your spine. The butterflies danced crazy in your tummy.

“You’re distracted,” he hummed again.

You chuckled, looking over your shoulder at the beautiful man in bed with you.

“Can’t help it when I’m with you,” you remember saying. 

Matt offered you his signature smirk. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. I quite like the view.”

“And when I do this?” He trailed another finger down your sensitive spine. 

You shuddered. “That, too.”

He did it again. “Tell me what’s going on in that pretty head of yours.”

“Thinking,” you said.

“About what?” he asked.

“A book I read.” You paused to turn on your back. “About the multiverse.”

It was a surprising change in subject, and he raised his eyebrows in a rather amused way. “The multiverse?” 

You nodded. “We know way too little about it. There could be more of me and more of you out there, and we don’t even know it,” you told him. “The multiverse… there is a chance it could be real. And that alone is terrifying because if it opens and we’re not prepared, chaos might ensue.”

He propped himself up on his elbow next to you, listening to the calming sound of your voice. It was always his favorite thing to do.

Matt used your voice as his podcast; it was his favorite, too. 

“Can we jump universes?” he wondered.

You shrugged. You didn’t know, at least not at the time. “Maybe,” you said. “But I’m not a scientist, let alone good at physics, so… let’s just go back to kissing. I’m much better at that.”

He laughed, but he did not object. At least with kissing, you both knew what you were doing. So, he brought his lips to yours, and the multiverse disappeared in a Bermuda Triangle of pleasure in your mind. Lost but not forgotten. 

Maybe.

But as you sit there, sliding back against the brick wall in the closest alley, you realize that you downplayed the probability. 

You were going to kill a man, but instead of blood on your hands, you are now cursed with the knowledge that the ‘maybe’ of your once-thought-silly pillow talk has always been very fucking real, and you have nowhere to run in this strange world you have fallen into that is New York City, Earth-616. 

Where do you run when you can go anywhere, just not home? 

Tagging: @nk1023 @sarahskywalker-amidala @ignore-mp3 @imonabitchparade @familyvideowithsteve @eyelessdemon

[latteart98]

I keep rewatching scenes from Hidden Love because I simply can’t get over the drama and if I had to pick a favorite scene, it would be the airport scene in episode 7 when her heart gets completely shattered. Listen the drama is packed is so many cute scenes that I’m totally in love with, but the scene that really, really gets to me is that one.

Can you imagine being in SZ’s shoes? Anxious and antsy all night, she showed up in his city despite knowing the huge trouble it will get her in back at home.. all because she needs to ask him in person if he is really dating someone or was it just a lie? But poor girl didn’t even get to voice her questions because his coworker, whom she mistook as the girlfriend, came along with him.

The moment DJX appears at the airport with the lady tagging along with him, SZ’s eyes are on the lady not him. Not her crush whom she hasn’t seen in so many months but the lady. He’s all worried about her safety and mad out of concern for her but all she can think about is “who is she? Is she your girlfriend? You promised me that you would tell me immediately if you got a girlfriend. Why didn’t you keep your promise?”

Notice how she’s not mad at him for dating because she knows deep in her heart that she’s too young for him and he has never seen her as anything more than a friend’s little sister. No, she’s not having any false hopes. Rather, she’s hurt that he didn’t remember the promise he made to her. And as a result, it became apparent that she was no one special to him nor were the times they spent together was of any significance to him. That he was only nice to her because she was in front of him and had it been anyone else, he would’ve behaved the same way. All the while she held on to every memory, every gift like a treasure.

And just because she knew that she never really had a chance with him because of the age difference, doesn’t mean it hurt any less to see him with someone else. She kept hoping against all hopes that she would, eventually, grow up and he would then notice her a woman but she figured he’s already found his “someone better” - someone that’s not her, that will never be her.

And when she gives him one last sad smile and starts walking away, leaving behind the teddy and pieces of her heart with him, it’s a cinematic masterpiece. She’s walking away and with every step, her mind flashes back to a montage of DJX being kind to her and smiling at her and being full of warmth- all the things that made her fall for him to begin with. And she realizes that those memories, those little smiles of his, those gestures are just gonna forever remain as little treasures in her heart. Even before she leaves the airport, when she wishes him happiness and leaves the teddy with him, we know she’s bidding farewell. She’s mentally getting ready to never see him again. Oh, it’s breaking her heart and so is the audience’s hearts. The montage, the walking away first, the one last turn back, the background music, the fact that it’s at an airport… everything was so perfectly put together.

And finally when her brother comes to pick her up, she starts sobbing in his arms. He’s holding her and trying to comfort her through promises of buying her her favorite food or comic books or even beating the guy up.. all silly stuff thinking it was just an online fling. As if her whole teenage years’ worth of hopes didn’t just crash at her feet. As if her innocent little heart didn’t just break into a million pieces.

Listen I know teenagers are dramatic (gosh I would know, I used to be one) and most of the times, the love/crush they have as a teen is cringe and melodramatic… but sometimes, only sometimes they are capable of honest sincere feelings so when it hurts, it fucking hurts. We might say they’re being dramatic because it’s only their first puppy love but God, that’s exactly why it hurts so much. Because it is their first love. Because they didn’t know any better, they put so much of their mental space and time and hopes and fears into this one person and when it doesn’t work out, it fucking sucks. Yes they will move on, yes they will get over it eventually, yes with time they might even look back at their teen self and cringe. But this moment, the moment your heart breaks for the first time whether you are 17 or 30 or 49, it’s not a moment you will ever forget. This moment becomes a landmark in your heart.

[fireflyinks]

clumsy mess

innocent! virgin! reader x dbf joel miller smut

summary : the reader is a clumsy mess and joel is all for it

MATURE 18+

I knew it was wrong. Every bone in my body knew it. The way my heart would thump when he was around, and how I would melt in his hands if he ever were to merely touch me, it was truly mortifying.

Yet there was something about it that felt so right.

Joel sat at the kitchen table, playing poker with my father and a few of their other friends. My dad was work buddies with Joel, so he would come over often.

I could smell beer coming from the room, as I watched a horror movie with a couple of their daughters.

“Y/n/n!” My dad called from the table.

“Yes?” I yelled back, wondering what he could want.

I had been dreading the entire night; having to spend time with a couple of spoiled teenage girls I didn’t even like, I was really yearning to be in the dining room, just Joel and I, bouncing up and down on his big-

“Get us some more beers!”

I groaned, standing up from the couch and walking into the kitchen. I opened the fridge, grabbing six cold beers.

Passing them around the table, I couldn’t help but stare at him. Him. The way he left a button or two loose to show off his chest, and how he was so much older than me yet so fucking attractive-

One of the beers slipped from my hands, falling on the floor and shattering into millions of pieces. I was stunned, quickly stepping back from the scene.

“I- I’m so sorry.” I muttered out, embarrassed.

It had been Joel’s beer that I lost control of, and my cheeks flushed as he looked down at the busted mess.

“It’s alright,” Dad said, chuckling, “I’ll get your mom to clean it up. Be careful, don’t step on any glass.”

I nodded, skillfully walking away from the mess.

Going to grab another beer, I felt a hand snake around my waist. I jumped, still shaken from my accident.

“Hey, it’s alright. Why don’t you come with me? I have something to show you.”

I furrowed my eyebrows, “What is it, Joel?”

“It’s a surprise, just follow me.”

So I did, walking up the stairs and down the hall till we had reached my bedroom.

“Precious, I just need to ask you something.” Joel spoke in a deep, husky voice.

“Yes?”

“Don’t you think it’s dirty that you have a crush on your daddy’s friend?”

My heart dropped, my breath going with it.

“I-“ I stammered “I’m not sure I know what you mean.”

“Don’t play dumb sugar, I see the way you look at me.”

I gasped as he smirked devilishly. My lower lip shook, nerves shocked.

“Aw it’s okay, I’ve been thinking about you too.” He pushed hair out of my face and behind my ear. “I can only imagine how good those lips would look around my cock.”

I was getting pleasure from just hearing his words. My cunt became a needy mess, so I began to rub my legs together.

Joel noticed, smiling down at me.

“Would you like that? You want my cock?” He teased, titling my chin up with his index finger and thumb.

I nodded quickly, earning a chuckle from him.

“Get on the bed.” Joel commanded, and I did so.

He unbuckled his belt, pulling his jeans and boxers down. His cock sprung forth. My eyes widened as I looked at his size.

It was big. Very big.

“Go ahead, suck on it.”

I took a nervous breath, staying still.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, confused.

“I’ve never done this before.” I admitted, my cheeks turning a shade of crimson.

“Aw that’s okay baby, let me show you how.”

He angled his member with my throat, before pushing in the tip, thrusting back and fourth in my mouth. Each time he’d go a little deeper, causing me to grunt.

“Good girl. That’s it. Now do it by yourself.”

I bobbed my head on his cock slowly, using my hand to pump the length that didn’t fit. He threw his head back, moaning softly.

“That’s it, you’re a natural.” I continued until my mouth started to feel sore. Looking up at him, needingly, he took it as a sign.

“Does my good girl want to be fucked now? Hm?”

I nodded.

“Come on, I need to hear you say it.” Joel warned sternly.

“Please, I want your cock daddy.”

Joel began to take my shirt off, revealing my lace pink bra.

“Fuck, you look so pretty.” He said under his breath, unhooking the back. My tits released, bouncing once he let them loose. He groped them, causing me to whimper.

“Tell me where you want me.”

I groaned, “In my pussy. I want you in my pussy.”

He smirked, shaking his head. “Imagine if your dad heard you saying that. Begging for his friends cock.”

Joel pulled down my shorts, then took off my underwear. He teased my entrance with his middle finger, before pushing it in and fucking me with it.

I whined in pleasure. Then he added another digit. Then another. Then another.

My pussy slowly adjusted to his fingers, until I was rocking my hips back and forth.

“Okay, I think you’re ready, sugar.”

He pulled his fingers out, lining his cock with my entrance.

“I’m gonna push in slow. Tell me if it hurts or if you want me to stop.” He groaned as he entered me.

“Daddy!” I moaned, back arching. The amount pleasure out numbered the pain.

“Okay, daddy you can move.” I hummed, eyes closed from pleasure.

He rocked his hips back and fourth, progressing in speed with every thrust.

“You like how I’m fucking you, baby? You want my cum? Oh, imagine how your dad would react if i fucked a baby into you. Oh you’re such a clumsy mess, I’m surprised you haven’t came by accident by now. ” He cooed, grunting.

My stomach began to feel tight and tingly. I moaned, throwing my head back.

“I think I’m close!”

“Go ahead, come for me. Be a good girl and come for me.”

I came on his cock, just as he pulled out and released on my tummy. More and more cum came out till I was a sticky mess. My head felt light as I laid back on the bed.

Joel picked me up, taking me to the bathroom and running water for a bath. Once i got in, he pressed a gentle kiss on my lips before turning around towards the door.

“I gotta go tell your dad you were feeling sick or something. I can come back next week, your dad has a business trip.” He smiled, winking.

Southern charm would be the end of me.

[luvistqrzzz]

you left me no choice but to stay here forever...

Part of What Shade is our Love? Enhypen drabble series

right where you left me- sunghoon x f.reader

a part of you was right where he left you forever

genre- angst af, break up!au wc- 0.4K warnings- break up, mentions of cheating, sorry sunghoon, not proofread, intended lowercase, tswift references

'i-i am sorry, i cannot continue this relationship anymore, y/n', sunghoon's voice came as a whisper, soft but crushing.

for a whole minute, you thought he was joking, like he often did but the way he let go of your hands and withdrew himself told you otherwise.

he was serious... it was almost like the moment stopped, his holding a small sad smile as if saying 'it is what it is'.

'you can't be serious, babe?' you let out a dry laugh. 'right, sunghoon?' you tried to touch his hand but he pried them out of your grip.

the restaurant must have been very crowded and noisy because how could no one hear your heart shattering into a million pieces when your boyfriend shook his head, confirming your worst nightmares.

'why did you then bring me to this place? i thought- i thought we were having a date', you mumbled through the tears pooling in your eyes. what did you even do wrong? you swore that everything was perfect right before that moment.

ok, maybe that was a lie and the past few months the gap between you and sunghoon only kept widening but you wouldn't have imagined this.

'this was long coming. i think it is best for us to move on, right?' he said hastily getting up and picking his coat from seat. 'are you leaving me? you just broke up and-' you spoke through a daze, unable to comprehend the scene unfolding before your eyes.

'yes, y/n. goodbye', the boy firmly said, walking out of the fancy restaurant.

you watched as he drove off, leaving you to yourself and your broken heart. you wished that he looked back for once. did he even think through his decision? but sunghoon wasn't the one to hurt you like that. no, your sunghoon wasn't the one to hurt you like that.

and that's when you realized, sitting under the restaurant's dim light shining over you that... that he wasn't yours anymore. he had found someone else, prettier, smarter, braver, everything you were not.

break ups happen every time and sunghoon wasn't the first boy to leave you but in ways you think you'll always be the 23-year old still at the restaurant's corner, haunting your own memories, staring straight ahead of the seat in front of you.

the one where sunghoon should've been.

but he had left a part of you, frozen in place. the part that is right where he left you.

A/N- isnt angst just my fav thing to write <333!! Omg this was so random but taylor swift songs give me such nice fic ideas ^^!! Reblogs are appreciated!!

[greenerteacups]

Hello GT! I almost never comment on anything online, but (after binge-reading Lionheart in about three days) I'm overcome with a desperate need to confess that I've developed an enormous intellectual crush on you as an author. I've never been particularly drawn to Dramione as a pairing before now - or even the HP universe in general as more than a very casual fan - but after reading nearly 600 thousand of your words, I'd be craving more even if that number was 600 million. Thank you very much for sharing Lionheart with the world.

It's a rare pleasure to read something where an immense thoughtfulness shines through so brightly not simply in bits and pieces here and there, but consistently throughout every line and every subplot you stitch together. There are other works of fiction out there that I love, but very, very few of them have been carefully crafted enough to allow me as a reader to sit back and have unshakeable confidence in the depth of the author's vision. Everything you write, from the smallest descriptive details to the grander puzzle pieces tying together each book, is delivered with such intentionality. Sometimes when reading other fiction I'll find myself impatiently wondering "okay, fantastic build-up, but when are we getting to the *really good* part"; with you, every part is the good part. The oft-cited slow-burn mantra of "it's not the destination, it's the journey" doesn't even ring true for me with Lionheart - because in your capable hands, you hurl us straight at that destination with every chapter. All of this to say that my starstruck inner writer is currently pinning a hypothetical pin-up poster of you to my hypothetical writer-ly bedroom wall as someone to look up to.

One of my favourite aspects of your work is how utterly hilarious you are both in your character dialogue and your prose. You've made me laugh more than you've made me cry - and you're guilty of making me cry a lot, especially in Book Four. You balance us between hysterical (funny) and hysterical (dirty, raw feelings) without a trace of whiplash, quite often imparting both simultaneously. Is interweaving humour with Everything Else something that comes naturally to you while writing or is it a process you're consciously juggling?

I've brooded and preened over this message for entirely far too long, and it's not fair to you. Suffice it to say you're kinder than I deserve and this made me want to cry. Any and all pin-up posters of me should render me looking like a deer in headlights, as is the appropriate reaction to this kind of honor.

I'm especially delighted by the hysteria (plural)! In general, it's easier for me to write humor than it is for me to write drama. Not that either one is easy as such, but I think drama requires more architecture. You don't have to explain if a joke is funny; it just is funny, and the audience knows why the characters are laughing/amused/happy. In drama, you have to achieve a certain level of technical character work to set up the punch of a moment; there's stakes, plotting, resonance, etc., and then you have to actually deliver it in a way that isn't either flippant, ironic, or Narm. Basically, there are more axes of failure. And the stakes of a joke failing are pretty low, too: worst case, your audience is like "eh, not that funny" and they move on. If a dramatic moment fails, it can take the legs out from under a whole arc.

One of my tests for whether a moment is ripe for comedy is the question of what the comedy is doing. Is it a realistic reflection of the character's voice in that situation? And, perhaps more importantly: why am I feeling the need to put comedy in this scene? Do I want it because it's natural and tone-appropriate, or am I trying to disguise my own insecurity about the dramatic content of the scene? If the latter, I tend to cut. You can't write from fear, you know?

[calinaannehart]

the parts we play

Buck isn’t a firefighter, he just plays one on TV, or at least that’s what he’s about to do. He’s offered the chance to shadow the 118 to learn what it’s like to be a firefighter. Eddie is fed up with these Hollywood types turning up and feigning interest in the job that he loves. Buck, however, is nothing like that and everyone can see the connection they have.

Eddie’s day is ruined.

“You can’t be serious, Cap?” He protests, looking at Bobby imploringly. “You do remember what happened the last time Hollywood sent an actor who wanted to play dress up?”

Six months after Eddie had said goodbye to her on the beach Felisa Valdez had waltzed into the firehouse, publicist hot on her heels with an announcement that she was to shadow the 118 in preparation for a future role. The call from the chief had come a few minutes after her arrival confirming her visit and instructing Bobby to allow her out on calls to observe what the job entails.

It was argued, given the 118 had attended no less than four emergency calls in which they had rescued her from one situation or another, that Felisa was already more than familiar with the workings of a fire crew. Her publicist, however, countered that she was a victim on each of the calls and therefore needed to be the one in uniform. Bobby had drawn the line at that, but Felisa was given a seat on the engine and she observed them while they worked, albeit a little too closely at times.

The publicist had taken a near-constant stream of photographs for the duration of Felisa’s three-day visit, photos of her with the crew, photos of her being shown pieces of equipment, manning a hose, sliding down the pole, donning a helmet. In every one her hair had been perfect, her outfit on the tighter side and a pose that was unrealistic to the job at hand, but were posted all over her social media, tagging each of them at the official LAFD account.

Still, they had all survived the three days with no injuries and their dignity somewhat intact.

That was until the movie came out.

It turned out to be a low-budget B-movie, so low in budget that it bypassed the theatres completely and was released directly to TV. Felisa had excitedly called Eddie with the channel info and the date and time it would be on which had ended up being during a 24-hour shift. They had settled in to watch at eleven o’clock in the evening and that should have been their clue.

Felisa’s movie turned out to be, essentially, a very badly written and directed (and acted) softcore porno set in a fire station. Bobby had flushed and made a hasty exit to his office just fifteen minutes in when the first sex scene started, muttering about damage control and calling the chief.

“I do, and I was promised that wouldn’t happen again,” Bobby tells him, his tone placating. “Brass themselves have gone over the script and they’ve talked with the production team. It’s a big multi-million dollar movie this time with some big names attached to it.”

“Like who?” Chimney mumbles around a mouthful of celery and peanut butter, dipping the stick back in for another scoop. Pulling out his phone Bobby thumbs open the screen and scans his eyes over the email he had received with all the information.

“Todd Fame, Kelli Edwards, and Evan Buckley.” 

“No way, Evan Buckley?” Excitement fills Chim’s face and he sets the jar of peanut butter down on the counter. “Man, he’s done some good stuff, Time Wars, Echoes of the Past, Midnight Mirage, oh, and that rom-com that came out last year, Tatiana loved it. Are we getting him? That would earn me some serious boyfriend points.”

A silence fills the space after Chimney’s ramble, half a dozen amused faces staring at him. “Boy crush much?” Hen asks sardonically, a wave of sniggers following her words. “Isn’t he the one gossip magazines are always publishing articles on? I’m sure I’ve seen one about him having slept with half of Hollywood and constantly getting in bar fights.”

Bobby quirks an eyebrow at her. “Since when do you read gossip magazines?”

“Karen’s always picking them up when she gets the groceries,” Hen explains. “But my point is that maybe Eddie’s right, I mean, do we really want another Felisa incident?”

“Come on, Hen, those magazines are trash, there’s probably not an inch of truth in them,” Chim says, prompting another eye roll from his partner. “All I’m saying is that we shouldn’t judge him before we meet him, he’s a really good actor, okay? I’m not ashamed to admit he’s made me cry more than a few times.” Chim admits freely.

“Well, I’m sure you’ll get plenty of opportunities to tell him that,” Bobby continues. “He’s coming by this afternoon to sign some personal injury waivers and then will join us for our next run of shifts.”

Chim all but dances on the spot as he whips out his phone. “I can’t believe I’m gonna meet Evan Buckley, I gotta call Tatiana, this is so gonna get me laid!”

“Eddie, I want you to be his liaison while he’s here,” Eddie’s attention snaps back to his captain.

“What? Why me?” Eddie protests. “Let Chim do it.” He points to the man talking animatedly on his phone.

“The last thing this guy needs is someone fawning all over him, you’ll treat him just like everybody else, and most importantly you’ll watch his back.”

“Watch his…Bobby, you’re not seriously going to let him out on calls with us, are you?” Eddie’s expression matches his flabbergasted words.

“I am, that’s why he’s coming in to sign the waivers. He needs hands-on experience, Eddie, and you’re the one I trust to keep him safe,” Bobby lays a hand on Eddie’s shoulder, leveling him with a look. 

“I just hate these Hollywood types turning up and feigning interest in the job that I love for a few days just to earn a billion-dollar paycheck,” Eddie grumbles. “They don’t care, Bobby, it’s just a game to them.”

“All you have to do is talk to him about the job, share some of your experience. It’s just for a few weeks and then he’ll be gone.”

Eddie sighs. “You promise?” He asks, sounding too reminiscent of a petulant child and Bobby just chuckles.

“I promise,” He squeezes Eddie’s shoulder before stepping away in the direction of the mezzanine, no doubt to start breakfast. “Hey, you never know, you might end up real close.”

read on ao3

[pandoa]

Hi!!! Can I request yellow pansies and anemones in a balcony theme for Jamil? Thank you!!

Yellow pansies ~ “they love me, they love me not. they love me, they love me n—” “what are you doing?” “GAH!”

Anemones ~ “just take my hand. don’t you dare second guess yourself”

~jamil viper x gender neutral reader~

the moment i saw the balcony theme and anemones prompt i immediately thought "ALADDIN A WHOLE NEW WORLD SCENE-" AND I'M JUST SDJNJVDV THE PERFECT WAY TO END THIS EVENT, THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING <3

♡shining, shimmering, splendid!♡

He was perfect. Way too perfect, actually. What kind of man was just too good at everything?

It was to the point where it drove you absolutely crazy. Every step he made caused your heart to flutter hoping each step would be an inch closer to him standing right beside you, every mention of his name made you helplessly lift your head thinking you and him were in the very same room, every word he said to you was another word you would place high on a pedestal as if it were the most enchanting sentence your ears had ever heard. He had lucid locks of hair your hands had only dreamed of running themselves through. Skin as smooth as silk that sent electrical shivers down your spine with just one simple touch of his skin on yours. His dancing lyrical, his mind intelligent, and his soul beautiful. 

You were in love with Jamil Viper. And you were nearing the verge of insanity if you did not find out if he had felt the same. 

Days would seem to pass in no time at all—mainly because you would constantly be dazed with your mental consciousness never present at all—and it regrettably began to influence, not only your emotions, but the life lived around you as well. You could no longer keep still, your mind always drifting off into never-ending daydreams, friends concerned for your health, and your heart needing a definite answer before it exploded into a million pieces. Which was why you were there now, leaning on Ramshackle’s antique balcony, pulling at the dainty petals of a flower you had picked on your way back to your dorm after class. This had to be settled once and for all. In the name of your ever-pounding heart.

“He loves me, he loves me not,” your hopeful muttering played through the trees and grassland residing at the bottom of your balcony, each petal you gently picked off gracefully gliding down to touch the greenery as it twirled and spun in the wind. Going up to Jamil and directly asking him about his own feelings was obviously not an option in these circumstances; that was simply too bold for your taste. So, you had resolved to the next best thing for determining someone's romantic emotions: using flower petals to predict your crush’s feelings. 

Plucking another petal off of the delicate flower, you sighed wistfully as a gentle breeze began to comb through your hair, “He loves me, he loves me n—”

“What are you doing?”

“GAH! J-Jamil!” Upon hearing the calm voice of the Scarabia second year, your body jumped up in surprise as you hid the flower you had been holding behind the small of your back. Lifting your gaze up to face him, however, you had noticed something off about the way Jamil’s figure had slowly risen up and down as if he were flying in mid-air. That’s odd, you curiously thought, I don’t see a magical broom with him anywhere?

“What brings you here…floating on a…” a small pause cut your sentence as you looked over the balcony’s railings only to see a familiar piece of tapestry-like cloth hovering over the air—confusion plaguing your voice as you turned to look the boy directly in the eye, “magic…carpet? What the heck, Jamil?”

Jamil, softly clearing his throat, attempted to avoid eye contact as a hesitant hand shot up to nonchalantly cover a part of his face. For whatever reason, it had seemed like he was embarrassed—for what you did not know. You were too focused on hiding a burning blush on your end to notice the also red tint creeping onto the vice housewarden’s cheeks. Trying to continue on with what he had come here for, Jamil finally gained back some of his composure and looked back at you, “I noticed that you seemed…quite stressed this past week and thought that you could use a moment to clear your head. So, I borrowed Kalim’s carpet and headed straight for Ramshackle. Apologies for scaring you, though. That, I did not plan.”

“What do you mean?” you timidly asked, heart still palpitating miles and miles each second Jamil’s gray eyes had bore into your own. 

“I’m taking you with me to relax.”

“What?”

“You heard me,” you watched as Jamil had shifted his position to get a better angle before reaching his own hand out to latch onto yours. “Here, just take my hand. Don’t you dare second guess yourself,” he said as the sun over Ramshackle’s balcony reflected onto the shining gold accents of his charms and bracelets—causing him to glimmer brighter than any star you had ever seen, “And don’t worry either.”

“You can trust me.”

a/n: and then reader and jamil ride off into the dramatic sunset singing "a whole new world" throughout the entirety of nrc until jamil finds out kalim tried to cook again and jamil's little date is interrupted because he doesn't want the housewarden to burn down their whole dorm <3

[honeysuckleharringtons]

Part Four: "Macchiat- Oh No..." ~ S. Harrington

Summary: (Then) Back in Hawkins, the time has come for Reader to break the news to her boyfriend… only, he doesn't take it as well as she'd hoped. — (Now) When Steve stops by for his daily coffee, things take a sour turn when his ex-girlfriend walks in.

Pairing: Nurse!Steve Harrington x Fem!Byers!Reader (Reader x Jason Carver and Steve x Brenda are both featured as well)

Word Count: 2,401

Content Warning: teen pregnancy, mentions of vomit, adoption/abortion talk, mild swearing, Reader slaps and hits Jason, food consumption (Reader and Steve share a cookie), Jason is sorta out of character, lmk if i missed anything lol!

Extra Notes: so sorry this chapter was late, life is crazy rn lol but i hope y'all enjoy!

Originally Written: 11/28/2023 through 12/19/2023

honeysuckleharringtons' main masterlist can be found here!

'brew and me' series masterlist can be found here!

[ Then, August of 1987 ]

You knew it was impossible, but you were sure you'd just witnessed your boyfriend's eyes double in size. "Y-You're what?" he stuttered, his hands grabbing hold of the wooden bedpost beside him.

You couldn't say you blamed him. After all, you were nearly thirteen weeks along and still having trouble believing the news yourself. "I'm pregnant," you repeated. "We're gonna have a baby, Jay."

His normally glowy and tanned skin turned snow white. "No," he said, the word coated with disbelief and something close to anger. "I can't- We can't have a baby."

Rather than the excitement you'd hoped to feel when finally telling him your news, your heart felt like it was being crushed into a million tiny pieces. Pain and guilt and confusion stung in your stomach, and while you hadn't experienced morning sickness in almost two weeks, you were sure you were on the verge of throwing up. "What do you mean?" you asked in confusion and shock.

"I leave next week for college. I'm gonna be in California. I can't…"

Your hand met his shoulder softly, the pad of your thumb rubbing soft lines along his covered skin. "I know it's scary, but I know we can make this work, Jay. I'm-"

"No," he repeated, his voice stern this time. "I cannot have a kid. We have to get rid of it."

Confusion soon melted into betrayal as you realized what he'd meant by his earlier statement. Anger burned in your veins, your fists clenching. "Excuse me?"

"Y/N, imagine what that would do to my reputation. I mean, I'm about to join one of the most renowned basketball teams in America."

An aggravated scoff left your lips as you moved away from him, suddenly unsure if you could contain your anger if you continued to sit beside him on the bed. "Well, I'm sorry this puts such a damper in your plans."

The room, which once felt so full of love and lust, was now spinning in a storm of betrayal and fury. The bed, where your child had been conceived, was now the place where you'd experienced your first true heartbreak. You stumbled backward a few steps, gripping his dresser for dear life as you processed the scene in front of you.

"Y/N, you know it's not me," he argued. "You know what my parents would do if I ruined my full ride like this."

You truly wanted to believe this wasn't his idea, knowing Jason's dad wasn't much better than your own father—before he left anyway. But you knew him better than anyone, and you knew for a fact that when Jason had an idea in his head, he was going to go through with it.

He stood, walking toward you. Tears brimmed in his eyes, blue and heavy and beautiful, like two oceans you could get lost swimming in. A hand raised up to your cheek, wiping away the tears that had fallen from your own eyes. "It'll be okay. We can fix this. You can give it up for adoption or-"

You cursed yourself for even beginning to think he was starting to come over to your side. Your palms lay flat on his hard chest, pushing him away. "I love how you assume that I'm on your side, Jason. I mean, did you ever stop to consider maybe I want to keep this baby?"

He faltered, stepping back toward the bed. "Why? You've got your whole-"

"My whole life ahead of me?" you finished his sentence, the words filled with disbelief. "Jason, your dad makes more in one month than my mom and I make in a year combined. I can't afford to move to California for college like you can."

"So what, you're just gonna do like all the other women in Hawkins? Get pregnant and have four kids and live out in the suburbs?"

You really and truthfully couldn't believe what you were hearing. "You say that like it's a bad thing."

His next sentence was like a viper bite, so venomous that it stung down to your bones. "It is when it's not what either of us wants."

Tears that previously pricked your eyes began to fall like rain storms as your hands met his chest, slapping and shoving as his words of duplicity repeated like skipping records in your head. You knew it wasn't right to treat him this way, but you couldn't bring yourself to care. Incoherent sobs and screams flew from your lips, hitting his chest with smack after smack.

"You selfish bastard!" you cried, striking his polo-clad skin. "How dare you tell me what I do or don't want?"

He just stood there and took the blows like nothing was happening, passive and composed. You hated that he acted like this was just a casual Friday, yet you envied him for being so in control of his emotions, his placid expression not allowing you to see any kind of hidden feeling behind those blue eyes you once called home.

Teardrops fell as your chest heaved, a thousand different emotions swirling like a tornado inside you. The man who'd once picked up your broken pieces had now left you shattered, a million tiny splinters of grief scattered across his bedroom floor.

As if flipping a light switch, you forced yourself to calm down, removing your flying fists from his chest and drying up your crocodile tears. You grabbed your coat, backing toward the exit. You took one last look around the room, knowing this was exactly how you'd remember it when his name was mentioned or when your baby opened its eyes to reveal the same ocean blue shade its father had all those years ago.

[ Now, December of 1991 ]

"If you decide you want to grow a set of balls and learn how to grow the hell up," you practically spat at him, gripping the doorknob much tighter than necessary, "you know where to find me, Jason Carver."

"Here is that-"

Your sentence was quickly cut off by Steve grabbing your arm and pulling you into the booth beside him. His cold palm sent goosebumps running up your arm where your sweater sleeve had slid up, his fingertips juxtaposingly shooting hot sparks through you.

Still, you cleared your throat, confused by his sudden, out-of-character action. "You that desperate for a date, Harrington?"

"Actually, yes," he whispered, not making eye contact with you and instead staring toward the door.

Brows furrowing, you turned to see what exactly had stolen the man's attention. When your eyes landed on it, or rather her, you could've sworn you felt bile rising in your throat.

Her long and tanned legs sported what looked to be the most beautiful and most expensive skirt you'd ever seen, despite the forty degree weather outside. The baby pink sweater that flowed around her top half only complemented her skin tone and her gorgeous blonde hair, curled to perfection. Her makeup was perfect, but she didn't even need it because when she smiled, it lit up the whole room. Jealousy and hurt flowed through you as you realized she was everything you weren't.

"You see that girl sitting down in the booth by the door?" Steve asked. You suddenly had the urge to smack him for even mentioning her.

Still, you pushed your feelings down and turned back toward him, meeting him once again with pinched brows. "Yes…" your voice trailed. "I'm sorry. What do I have to do with-"

"That's my ex-girlfriend," he whispered, still keeping a wary eye on the woman.

Your mouth flew open as you realized your mistake, your previous jealousy quickly melting into embarrassment. Though, you did still feel a slight tinge of envy at the prospect of any girl holding Steve's hand or kissing his lips when you couldn't, but that was a story for another time.

Your eyes twinkled mischievously at his unspoken proposition. "Steve Harrington, are you asking me on a playdate?"

He moved uncomfortably in his seat as he continued to watch the blonde across the shop. "When you put it like that, it seems more childish than it should."

"Oh, it's definitely as childish as it seems," you grinned. "But I suppose I can play along since the most popular boy on the playground invited me to his little game."

You stood, walking quickly to the counter. After making sure the blonde wasn't looking—she was instead looking at a handsome brunet who'd just sat down across from her—you quickly grabbed a cookie from the display counter and sprinted back to Steve's table.

This time his brows furrowed, but you just answered him with, "If we're gonna play, we need toys and props."

He let out an exasperated sigh, and you reveled in his defeat. "You're eating this up, aren't you?"

"The same way we're about to eat this cookie."

Before you could process what was happening, he was tossing an arm around your shoulders and pulling you into his side. Your breath caught in your throat, and your skin was boiling hot where his fingers touched you through your cardigan.

"Oh, my God," the brightest and cheeriest voice you'd ever heard greeted you. "Steve Harrington?"

Steve feigned surprise as he made eye contact with the woman he'd been watching. "Brenda? Wow, you look…"

"I know!" she smiled, her cheeks rosy. You wanted to throw up just watching their interaction. "You don't look so bad yourself. I mean, how long has it been? Four-"

"Five years," he corrected her. You could've sworn he grimaced at the memory. "So, what are you up to now?"

She showed off her engagement ring happily, and both Steve's and your eyes nearly popped out of your eye sockets at the size of the diamond in the middle. "Matt and I were actually on our way up to Boston for a cake tasting but he wanted to stop for some coffee first."

"Huh, who would've thought?" Something flashed in Steve's eyes that you'd never seen from him: hurt. You weren't sure what had happened between them, but your heart stung as you watched that brief surge of painful nostalgia wash over him. Had it not been for you watching Steve all those months and learning all his reactions, you might've missed it.

A brief moment of silence overtook your table, so you decided to carry on to the next topic, thankful that your job had somewhat taught you how to think fast. "I don't believe we've met. I'm Y/N, Steve's girlfriend," you said, holding out your hand toward the blonde.

Girlfriend. It'd been so long since you'd been one of those, you'd forgotten how nice it was to say. But with Steve… the word left you feeling a satisfaction you'd never felt before.

Brenda took your hand, shaking it curtly. "Pleased to meet you. It's nice to see Steve finally found someone who'll settle him down."

The man muttered something under his breath, so quiet Brenda didn't notice and you couldn't tell what it was. At full volume, he said, "Who would've thought that one up either?"

She let out a laugh, one almost as sickeningly sweet as the frappuccino in Steve's hand. A quick smile flashed across her lips before she said, "I guess I have to get going if Matt and I are going to make our appointment with the baker but it was good to see you, Steve. And nice to meet you, Y/N."

You and Steve both chirped out a response before she headed toward the door, a string of laughs leaving her lips as her fiancé wrapped an arm around her from behind. You'd never been one to hate love, but suddenly you wished this was the seventeenth century, where public displays of affection were outlawed.

Steve took a piece of the cookie, the feeling of his hand brushing yours bringing you out of your slightly maniacal thoughts. He threw it into his mouth, and you realized just how much you wanted to feel it touch your own mouth. What is with me today? you wondered silently.

"So that was Brenda," he said, a chuckle nearly falling behind his sentence.

You snickered, taking a bite of the cookie yourself. "So it was," you snickered before tossing back the sugar cookie's goodness. "She always been drop dead gorgeous or is it just that post-grad, pre-wedding glow?"

A low laugh rumbled from his chest, and the sound made tingles shoot up your spine. "She's always been something." Sarcasm coated the words.

"You wanna talk about it?"

His arm was still around your shoulders, and both of you were extremely aware of it. The tips of his fingers touching your sweater clad skin, your body practically flush against his side, both your faces close enough to feel the warmth of the other person's breath. As if realizing it at the same time, you scooted closer to the edge of the seat and he removed his arm, placing his hands in his lap.

"Not much to talk about," he answered, nonchalantly ignoring the arm-around-the-shoulders business. "I was a bit of a party boy in my first year at Aster."

Your mouth fell open in fake shock. "I never would've guessed! A handsome guy like you? No way you got invited to parties every weekend."

"I take it back," he quipped, and you had to resist a laugh, "I don't want your number anymore. And I sure as hell don't wanna tell you about my ex-girlfriend drama."

"Okay, okay, I'll behave." Another laugh fought to escape your lips.

"I was a bit of a party boy. But I met her and things changed." That hurt from before flashed across Steve's face again, causing your heart to sting once more. "I thought she'd be the one. But nothing I ever did was good enough. One day I found out she'd cheated on me three different times, trying to find someone better and I dipped. Haven't really dated since."

You thought about someone you hadn't thought of in years, how you were convinced he was the one. How he left you feeling like a crumpled up piece of garbage on the ground afterward. How he hadn't apologized or reached out since.

Suddenly, you realized, maybe you and Steve weren't so different after all. Maybe, just maybe, if you gave him the chance, the two of you could be more similar than you ever imagined.

Y'all, I am so so sorry this chapter is so late 😭

I feel like those posts about the AO3 authors that are like "A/N: sorry this is late, i got hit by a train" but that's truly what it feels like happened these past two weeks LOL. I have had so much happening in my personal life between work and sickness and ending up in the ER and now Christmas. It was... insane lol

Regardless of all that, I hope this was worth the wait and I'm so happy to be posting for you guys again! Chapter five will be up in just a little bit so I hope you guys enjoyed this one for now! Happy holidays from me and the B&M crew! 🤎

-> taglist: @dungeons-are-too-cold @ducky-died-inside @awkotaco24 @liberhoe @princesseddie @corrodedseraphine @manuosorioh @esoltis280 @hazydespair

[shikishake]

it’s a little late now, but I was rewatching volume 9 recently and I wanted to talk about a “fun” little detail I noticed during ruby’s breakdown in episode 7. or, not detail I guess, but a narrative decision.

ruby’s problem, for a long while now, is that she feels like she has to be strong for other people. that she’s not allowed to feel bad. she has to be the optimistic hero girl who always picks people up, who always sees the good in a situation, who always helps people out with a smile. she’s had to do it since she was a child, back when summer died and she just had to be a little ball of sunshine and rainbows for a broken father and a sister that suddenly had to be her surrogate mother. yang could do the housework and the raising. ruby couldn’t do anything. so the least she could do was keep smiling, and make sure that nobody worried about her.

but it’s been getting harder and harder for her to keep up for... maybe 3 volumes? kind of 4, we saw hints of it in volume 5, but that feeling of her forcing herself to step up and inspire her team to keep going was really starting to wear on her in volume 6. it was alleviated a bit in volume 7, primarily during the early part where the gang were being “real” huntsmen and huntresses, doing missions for a kingdom, slaying grimm. it wasn’t EASY, but it was simple. the right thing to do was easy to identify and largely pretty simple to execute.

it crashed back in during the latter half of volume 7 and only got worse as volume 8 continued. the feeling of bearing the responsibility of being the driving force that pushes the gang forward, the weight of having to make the decisions and find the solutions, the constant worry of having to find “the right thing” in a sea of a million ways that things could and did go wrong.

but she’s supposed to be the one to stay positive. she’s the one that helps the others pick up the pieces, the one that motivates her friends to keep going. they need her to do her best and smile and march on like nothing bothers her. and she can’t just keep doing it. like past-ruby said in episode 4: “it’s up to YOU to make it better. everything all depends on you. your sister needs you. your friends need you. the whole world needs you to keep fighting, forever and ever, against an invincible monster that took your mother.”

everyone needs her to be the plucky heroine girl that does her best to save the day. and she just can’t anymore. and when she can’t, when she needs the pick-me-ups, when she’s the one that needs to be inspired to keep going for once, she feels like nobody steps up. they’re relying on her to pick them up when they can’t keep going, but she feels she can’t rely on them to pick her up when she’s the one crushed by the weight of everything.

so it is a BRILLIANT piece of writing that, when she finally snaps, when she finally breaks down... jaune overshadows her. again, another person’s problems are more important than hers. again, the focus is shifted from ruby’s feelings to how someone else feels. jaune breaks down, and you have the brilliant scenes of him screaming about the weight of how penny died and what he had to do, and how he now has to just live with that. yet, in the background, ruby just has to watch as her friends crowd around him to comfort him. the camera fully zooms into jaune, and you don’t even see her until she just can’t deal with it anymore, snaps at blake and runs off.

even when she’s breaking down, they’re assuming that they don’t need to pay attention to her. it’s ruby, right? she’s strong. she can handle it. jaune’s a lot more fragile, a lot more unstable, so it’s fine if they focus on him first, right? she can wait a while, right?

[becauseimanicequeen]

I read your hilarious post on your bad taste and couldn't believe you mentioned Xena. That was my favorite show as a child too! We have similar taste in qls too.

What are your favorite ql characters though? I tend to like the darker kind. It would be interesting to read your thoughts.

Have a nice day.

Hi, Anon.

Glad to meet a fellow Xena lover.

When it comes to QL characters, my taste is similar to the QLs in that post you mentioned. I’m usually drawn to the bad bitches. So, here are the…

Bad bitches that have me in a chokehold.

My memory is a bit fucked, but these are the ones I can remember off the top of my head right now.

*spoilers ahead, so read at your own peril*

Tan/New (DFF)

Everything started with his brother disappearing and ended with him torturing the people responsible with their worst fears and deepest secrets. All the while having a backup plan knowing his closest ally would turn on him. New is no dumbass. He's a determined, prepared, avenging manipulator. And this bad bitch was determined to avenge his brother (and his own suffering) even if it killed him. I don't know about you, but I love a man who knows what he wants.

Todd (Not Me)

On the topic of manipulation... This prince charming put his lover (you can't convince me they weren't) into a coma while manipulating his lover's twin brother to join a gang whose mission is to take down the man who stands in the way of making Todd the king of Thailand's business world. Master manipulator at its finest (and he's fine as fuck). What's not to love?

Black (Not Me)

He was put into a coma by his lover (again, you can't convince me they weren't) and paid back in the same coin because this bitch is petty as fuck. And I love him for it.

Ai Di (Kiseki: Dear to Me)

This colorful and feisty little shit had me in a chokehold from the first moment I saw him. He runs head-first into fights, can kick ass (and do), and is often manhandled by his "adoptive" brother/best friend/crush while kicking and screaming. And let's not forget he's petty and admits it.

Vegas (KinnPorsche)

This bitch with daddy issues is a walking, talking toxic issue from start to finish in KinnPorsche. He drugged Porsche to assault him (and get under his cousin's skin), killed Tawan whom he only hooked up with to take down his cousin, captured and tortured Pete only to fuck him when the pet hedgehog died, not to forget he sat in Tankhun's seat at the dinner table (I mean, where are his fucking manners? lol)... And this is just a summary. But it's also because of all of this that Vegas is my favorite character in KinnPorsche.

Boston (Only Friends)

He's a slut. That's it. He doesn't need more context. Give me a slut, and a toxic one at that, and I'll love them forever. I know, I've got issues... But so does Boston, which is why I love him.

And the most recent bad bitch to come into my life…

Ming (My Stand-In)

It's too soon for me to say anything substantial about Ming (since only one episode is out and I haven't read the novel). BUT. It took less than an hour for this man to grab me by the throat... and I let him. It took him less than an hour to claim ownership of my soul... and I let him (I even begged him to during the scene in the gif above). This man is trouble. And I love trouble. I won't defend his actions, but I will love him.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again... I need this bad bitch to break Joe’s heart into a million little pieces (because we all know it’s happening anyway). I need him to be toxic. I need him to be a problem. I need him to the THE PROBLEM.

And when he realizes what he's done, I need him to pay for it by crawling through hell, only to beg on his knees for forgiveness when he realizes Joe is back, and then pay with his own blood when he tries his utmost to stitch Joe’s heart back together. Just give me the pain!

I love every single one of these characters. And I love that I love them.

I know, it’s a me-problem. But at least I'm aware of it.

I’m sure I’ll remember more characters that have me in a chokehold as soon as I hit publish on this. But, at least this is a start for now.

Thanks for your ask.

[augustjustice]

WIP Weekend

I may be a little more sporadic with this one as I've got a busy weekend coming up, but still want to dive and get a bit of writing done!

The Rules:

In a reblog (or a new post w/ rules attached) post up to five (5) file names of your wips. Not titles, file names.

Post a snippet from one of them. Snippet must be words you wrote in the last 7 days. We’re posting progress here. If you haven’t made any, go make some and come back to post!

After you’ve posted, people can send you an ask with one of your file names. You must then write 3 sentences in that file. If the filename is one you can’t share from (for example, an event fic), write 3 sentences on it anyway, and then 3 more on another to share.

That’s it! You can invite others to join in, or just post. If you tag me in your post, I will send you an ask request!

The WIPS:

S4 Missing Scene fic

Steddie Bodyswap Ch. 1

Crush Confessions Ch. 2

Untitled Marmalade fic

Snippet and Taglist under the cut:

“The pool, at my place,” Steve trucks on, that determined clench to his jaw. “That’s what it was–well, is–for me. The place, where the demogorgon attacked. It took Barbara–Holland? Nancy’s best friend. The first night that we…” he trails off with a shake of his head, “well, anyway. It doesn’t matter. I’m just saying, I get it. Maybe not to the level of, you know, having your whole goddamn ceiling ripped out, but–the Upside Down, all this shit. It takes things from us. All of us. And I’m sorry that it happened to you, too, but…at least you’re not alone?”

Eddie gnaws on his bottom lip, as he looks at Steve, watching the other teen wince. Like he just knows it’s not enough.

But the thing is…it is. Steve has to know that it is.

“To be honest, I think that’s the only thing that’s keeping me from just, I don’t know–shattering into a million little pieces, or something,” Eddie admits. “The fact that you guys–” 

Embarrassingly enough, his throat contracts, for a second, choking off his words. 

“...that you’re here. With me.”

I'm no pressure tagging @eriquin @lingeringmirth @thefreakandthehair @sidekick-hero and anyone else who sees this and would like to join!

[corujalesbica]

Why would you wear black to a wedding

A wenclair story!

Chapter 2 ➡️

Enid was absolutely and utterly fucked. Screwed. Really, at her worse moment. She looked out the window, her eyes glaring the falling rain. If she managed to pack her things fast enough, she thought, maybe she could run away when the rain ceased. Live in the mountains, away from everyone and everything. With only mother nature and sadness as her company. Forever forced to hide and...

"Tá la la lã" Her buzzing phone got her out of her family issues induced anxiety spiral. It was on her bed, the screen shinning in bright blue in the dark room.

Yoko, my beautiful bestie

Yo you guys wanna come over and watch a movie or smt

Gaslight gatekeep girlboss

Depends. I refuse to watch any more of enids sad ass homo rom coms

Upon reading that, Enid threw herself in her old bed, reaching for her phone.

You

Hey!!! My rom coms aren't sad!

Gaslight gatekeep girlboss

Yes they are. If I have to watch 1 more scene with kissing people in the rain Ill throw myself off a cliff.

Yoko, my beautiful bestie

It's fine babes, we can watch a horror movie.

How could Yoko betray her like that ? Where was the friends before partners unspoken rule ?

You

I AM NOT watching a freaking horror movie. I'll have nightmares for weeks!!!

Yoko, my beautiful bestie

We can watch the Fear street trilogy. It has gays in it and shit.

You

You're just taking Biancas side because she's ur gf that is soooooo unfair

Yoko , my beautiful bestie

No, I'm taking her side cause u made us watch crush with you 7 times and I liked it at first but now my experience is ruined because I know all the freaking lines

You

........

Gaslight gatekeep girlboss

Enid ?

You

OKAY THEN we'll watch fear street or whatvs

Enid sighted, letting go off her phone. It was nice to be back home, thought third wheeling wasn't exactly her favorite thing to do. She looked around, and some of her old plushies looked back. Being in San Francisco felt... Different, this time. Maybe it was because of her brothers wedding this summer. And just maybe, it was because she herself was a bit different.

One way or the other, she was happy to get a break from college, to be back from Colorado. Her room there was boring as fuck, with its gray walls and metal desk. This, was much better. Someone knocked on the door, and Enid suddenly remembered why her gray room in Colorado felt as freeing as it was ugly. Her mom stepped in without waiting for permission.

" Enid. Dear"

" Yes, mom ?" The girl reluctantly looked her mother's way, shifting position so they were facing each other.

" When will we met your lovely - totally real - partner ? It must be before your brothers and Daysis wedding. You know, dearest, a werewolf needs a partner! Someone to take care of you in full moon nights, and someone to protect when you're- "

" -when I'm old and alone and hated by humans. I know mom. I told you already, youll met her soon enought! She can't get here before Dave's wedding, she has finals... "

"Well, she must find a way! I will not settle for meeting such a person only at the wedding! And if you're lying to me Enid, you will regret it" she step closer, her browns furrowed, her mouth downward in an expression Enid knew all too well. She shrieked on instintic. "You have three days to bring her here or else you're dumping her and going to the ceremony with Samantha Diologious daughter, Celine. And that's final."

The older woman left then, and Enid held her breath until she couldn't hear her mother's steps anymore.

You see, Enid needed a partner for her brothers Dave, wedding, and her love life wasn't exactly going well. Her last girlfriend dumped her after cheating, and broke her delicate heart in a million pieces. Since then she had gone on multiple dates with her mothers warnings in mind, but none of them wanted to go to a strangers wedding nor did they want to see her again after she asked.

She had even got as desperate as to ask Yoko to pretend a break up with Bianca and be her fake date but her girlfriend wasn't the fondest of that idea. With a sight Enid asked herself how the actual fuck she would get a date willing to go with her to the ceremony in three days. Because there was no way she was going with Celine Diologious. Celine was a self centered, cruel person who would always kiss Enid against her will when her mother forced her to go on dates with the girl. Enid protests and complains about harassment were useless, which of course had nothing to deal with the fact that the Diologious were rich, and prestigious among the werewolf community.

Maybe some miracle would happen and Enid would end up with a beautiful, nice girl in her arms just in time to not have to expose her lies to her mother, who had almost made her phone stop working with all the messages she sent before Enid invented this fake girl. Maybe everything would work out.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

It was late at night, Bianca and Yoko asleep beside her, while Enid scrolled mindlessly through her Instagram. The movie wasn't as bad as she thought was gonna be, though she was sure that had more to do with the fact that she gat gotten used to the blood and the gore being a werewolf than with it not being scary.

She yawned, Yoko had a spare mattress in her room for nights like this, and at some point, she would have to wake up the cuddling girls beside her. The girl decided to get some water so she could take her medicine and be ready to sleep before waking her friends up. Yokos house was huge, but she was used to it. Her parents were probably out, always bloodthirsty vampires in the night. She respected that, thought it was easier dealing with Yoko, who got along with humans better for being a vegetarian.

There were piles and piles of books scattered around the house, when he wasn't sucking blood, her friends dad was a book worm. Even in the kitchen, books and notebooks full of Yokos moms notes filled the shelves you would usually see food in. As she filled a glass of water, Enid saw something shine in silver in the corner of her eye.

She kneeled beside it, a book with a black and silver cover thrown carelessly on the floor. She opened it, curiosity getting the best of her, and was met with words that started whispering to her, floating around her head and calling her name. The phrases told stories old and magical, and Enid lost track of time as she flipped through the pages. Countless spells were explained throughly, and she stopped as she found one that got her attention.

For the old and new, the sweet and bitter

To do the ritual, you have to be witter

Call the curse holder in desperate help

And in your aid, the witch will come

Enid had a terrible idea.

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You see, Yokos parents weren't really gonna miss the book. They had thousands of them, including dozens and dozens of witchcraft books, just like this one. She would return it in a few days anyways, but her brothers wadding was a day and a half away, and she was far beyond desperate.

The circle she drew in her rooms floor was adorned by lit candles and black roses. In the center, all kinds of offerings Enid could think of rested in a bowl, from candy bars to dead mouses (ew), because she had no idea what the witch would like, and the book wasn't all that specific on the ritual.

Finally, she sat on the floor and closed her eyes. Usually, Enid had a hard time remembering the information she read, but for some reason, the words for the spell were stuck in her head, repeating over and over again. She said the verses out loud three times as the clock struck midnight, too late for anyone in the house to hear her. The canddles went out, leaving her in complete darkness. For a whole minute, Enid breathed hard in slight disappointment but sweet relief, thinking the ritual didn't work. But as opened her eyes a dark figure stood in front of her.

The person wore all black and irradiated a cruel energy. Two dark eyes stared at her from the very center of her circle, looking like they were able to see into her very soul. She got up, her legs shaking, turned her phones flashlight up and before her...

Before her stood a petite girl with black hair. She had a braid resting in each of her shoulders and a notebook in her hands. Her face was delicate, beautiful sharp angles, and an expression that berayed no emotion. Enid calmed down then, not quite knowing where to start her request for the witch.

" Hum... I... I mean-"

"You have summoned me." The girls before her said. " I will therefore fulfill your wishes of revenge and blood"

"I don't want-"

"However," the girl interrupted her. "You must give me something in exchange for my services. What are you willing to give up on for this, Ms ?

"Sinclair. Enid Sinclair."

"Wednesday Addams"

They looked at each other, both a bit astonished.

"I gathered some stuff for you," Enid gestured awkwardly to her offerings. The girl looked her dead in the eyes and, without so much as blinking, caught a chocolate bar with gum flavored filling between the tip of her fingers. With the most disgust Enid had ever seen anyone show for anything, Wednesday put the candy bar in front of her face. " This ?"

"Yeah ?" The werewolf paused, not knowing what to do. "There's also some dead mouses if you'd like". The Addams girl sighed in exasperation, and rolled her eyes.

"I have been holding the family's curse for three years now, since turning eighteen. And not once in those 1095 days has such a moron summoned me. What do you want, disgustingly pink girl ?"

Enid wanted to be offended, she really did. She was whoever, wearing her most neon pajamas in that moment, pink panthers silly face painted with glitter in her shirt. Also, she was really, really desperate and not at all, wanting to have to deal with her mom.

"Look" she says, sitting down, too tired to care what the witch would think of her "I need a date for my brother's wedding. It is crucial I bring someone, and I was kinda hoping whoever I summoned could help me find a person my age to go with me. But, oh well, to my very surprise you are the one I summoned and also a person my age so maybe you could go with me? Do you want some of my blood in exchange for it ? Or maybe teeth ? I've heard if you mix dust made from a werewolf's teeth with fairy hair you can grow plants faster or something…" She shut up then, a finger on her tin and the knowledge she had been talking for way too long doing lops inside her head. Her eyelids were heavy, she just wanted to go to sleep.

"You want… A date ?" The Wednesday girl looked more than disgusted now, almost like she would prefer to wear Enid's pink panther pj's. She furrowed her brows, in an expression Enid thought she wouldn't be able to decipher even if she was fairly awake.

"Okay." The witch said. "I'll be your date to the wedding. This relationship is purely professional, however. And I have several ground rules. And I'll need you to-"

Before she could finish it, Enid had gotten up, wide eyed. "Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!" She smiled, a weight she hadn't know she'd been caring suddenly lifted from her shoulders. "Oh my God, can I hug you ? Would that be OK? It's alright if it's not, but really, thank you!"

"You may not hug me" The girl took a step back "And I'll only attend the wedding on the condition you come with me to the Addams family reunion in two months. I need a partner for the blood ritual."

"Of course! Is that your only condition ?"

Wednesday took a second to think to herself. "Yes" she said carefully. "Do we have a deal ?" She extended her hand, and Enid shook it, delicate but strong fingers with black nails meeting her rough ones. " Yes we, do , Ms Addams" she said cheerfully.

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This was supposed to be a one shot...

I'll link chapter 2 when it's up