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#this song is so necessary and so beautiful
justforbooks · 2 days
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Françoise Hardy
Icon of 60s music who sang of love as a source of ‘wretched, profound, endless questioning’
Françoise Hardy, who has died of cancer aged 80, shot to fame as part of France’s génération yé-yé, the jaunty transatlantic and cross-channel collision between French chanson and American rock’n’roll that also produced Johnny Hallyday and France Gall. But from the start, there was something that set her apart: a wistfulness, a sentimental self-reflection, a poise that belied a lifelong shyness and insecurity. A 60s icon, as big, for a while, in London as in Paris, Hardy was, in many ways, the antithesis of that restive, revolutionary decade.
Unlike her contemporaries, when she sang of love it was about “suffering and frustration, illusion and disillusion; wretched, profound, endless questioning”. Her songs, she told Le Monde, were a necessary outlet: “I wrote about my experience … A beautiful, melancholic melody is what best transcends the pain.”
Men fell, in droves, for her timid beauty. Mick Jagger described Hardy as his “ideal woman”. David Bowie, “passionately in love” for years, courted her backstage, in dressing gown and embroidered slippers. In 1964, the sleeve notes of Another Side of Bob Dylan featured a whole poem “for françoise hardy/at the seine’s edge”. (Two years later, after a concert at the Olympia music hall in Paris, Dylan invited the singer to a party in his suite at the George V, one of the capital’s grandest hotels. In his bedroom, he played her two tracks from Blonde on Blonde: Just Like a Woman and I Want You. Hardy always insisted she was so starstruck she never got the message.)
But the love of Hardy’s life, the father of her son and the agonising inspiration for many of her songs, was the French singer and actor Jacques Dutronc, whom she met in 1967 and married in 1981. The couple separated in the 90s, but never divorced, remaining on good terms. “Love is a remarkable force, even if its price is perpetual torment,” she said. “But without that torment, I would not have written a single lyric.”
Hardy was born in Nazi-occupied Paris, in the same maternity clinic at the top of the rue des Martyrs in the ninth arrondissement that had delivered Hallyday a few months earlier. Her mother was Madeleine Hardy, an accountant, and her father, Pierre Dillard, was a company director who was married to another woman. Françoise grew up in a two-room apartment nearby with her sister, Michèle, born 18 months later, and a solitary mother with whom Françoise had a “fusional, symbiotic relationship … I loved her probably too much – exclusively, unconditionally”. The girls rarely saw their father, who often neglected to pay his share of their upkeep and was regularly late with the modest fees for their Catholic education.
Weekends were spent with grandparents – notably an “egocentric, narrow-minded, frigid and emasculating” grandmother – outside Paris; many childhood holidays with friends of her mother’s in Austria, to learn German. Shy, dreamy, deeply ashamed of her unconventional family, Hardy turned to the radio, where in the late 50s, on the English service of Radio Luxembourg, she encountered a music – Presley, the Everly Brothers, Brenda Lee, Cliff Richard – that “affected me more than anything else. That ended up changing my life.”
Aged 16, she asked for a guitar for passing the first part of her baccalauréat. A year later, having passed the second part with honours, she taught herself a handful of chords “that produced most of my songs over the next 10 years”, and began writing. At the Sorbonne, studying German, she auditioned, unsuccessfully but not disastrously, for one record company, and started singing lessons.
Hardy’s contract with Vogue Records – who wanted “a female Johnny Hallyday” – was signed on 14 November 1961. She made her first TV appearance, in black and white on the state broadcaster’s only channel, six months later, and released her debut EP, featuring three songs of her own and a cover of a Bobby Lee Trammell song.
Her breakthrough came, rather incongruously, on the night of Charles de Gaulle’s October 1962 referendum asking voters whether France’s future presidents should be directly elected. In a musical interlude while the nation awaited the result, Hardy performed a track from her EP, Tous les garçons et les filles. The nation loved it. The song (sample line: “I walk down the streets, my soul in sorrow”) became a monumental hit in France, spending a total of 15 weeks at No 1 between October 1962 and April 1963 and becoming a million-seller. Within weeks Hardy was on the cover of Paris Match, plunged, still in her teens, into the whirlwind of the swinging 60s (which she detested: she disapproved of casual sex, avoided drugs, and could only ever remember being drunk twice).
Her first boyfriend, the photographer Jean-Marie Périer, ensured her picture – miniskirt, white boots, long hair, signature fringe – went around the world. Courrèges, Yves Saint Laurent and Paco Rabanne competed to dress her, for seasons at the Olympia in Paris, the Savoy in London, and shows in Germany, Italy, the Netherlands, Denmark, Spain, Canada and South Africa. In New York, William Klein photographed her for Vogue. Roger Vadim, Jean-Luc Godard and John Frankenheimer cast her in films.
The hits flowed, recorded – some in London, produced by Charles Blackwell – in French, English, German, Italian, some written by Hardy, others not.
But at the end of the 60s, barely five years after she began, Hardy abruptly gave up performing live, and the cinema. “I hated what it all involved,” she explained. “Being separated from the man I loved, the waiting, the solitude, depending on the phone. And I’ve never been able to act. I can’t simulate, or lie. Songwriting, on the other hand … dives deep.” Life in the fast lane, she declared, was “a gilded prison”.
But she continued recording, releasing a dozen bestselling albums in France, of which she always cited La Question (1971), a sophisticated collaboration with the Brazilian musician Tuca, as her favourite. She duetted with French artists Henri Salvador, Alain Souchon and Benjamin Biolay, and later with Damon Albarn and Iggy Pop.
Hardy was never very interested in politics (she decamped to Corsica with Dutronc for the duration of les événements of May 1968, whose student leaders she distrusted), although she had strong opinions about questions such as abortion. Hardy was, however, fascinated by astrology, writing two books on the subject.
She continued to work in later life, despite claiming that her 1988 album, Décalages, would be her last. A string of new recordings in the 1990s and 2000s, a 2008 autobiography, Le Désespoir des Singes (the title apparently derived from a monkey puzzle tree in the Bagatelle gardens near her Paris flat, because its sharp, spiky leaves reminded her of “men who have caused me despair”), and her last album, Personne d’autre, released in 2018, appeared despite family and personal tragedies: Hardy was at her mother’s side when, suffering from Charcot–Marie–Tooth disease, she died by euthanasia in 1994.
Hardy herself was diagnosed in 2004 with lymphoma, eventually recovering after an experimental form of chemotherapy – but only after she had been hospitalised, in an induced coma, in 2015. Three years later, another tumour was detected, this time in her ear. In 2021, she told the magazine Femme Actuelle (by email; she said she could no longer talk) that she would like to be able to choose to end her life, as her mother had done, and in 2023, in an interview with Paris Match, called on Emmanuel Macron, the French president, to legalise assisted dying.
Shortly before that second diagnosis, in 2018, Hardy reflected on a career that had brought pretty much every award French music can offer (plus a medal from the Académie Française), telling the Observer she had always been surprised that people – “even very good musicians” – had been moved by her voice.
“I know its limitations, I always have,” she said. “But I have chosen carefully. What a person sings is an expression of what they are. Luckily for me, the most beautiful songs are not happy songs. The songs we remember are the sad, romantic songs.”
She is survived by Dutronc, and by their son, Thomas.
🔔 Françoise Madeleine Hardy, singer, born 17 January 1944; died 11 June 2024
Daily inspiration. Discover more photos at Just for Books…?
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fanchonmoreau · 2 months
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In honor of Cabaret starting performances on Broadway tomorrow, here's Marin Mazzie singing the reinstated song 'I Don't Care Much' which is sung by the Emcee in Act 2.
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dykethevvitch · 9 months
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"Oh my drunken southern star
How you tried to hide in darkness
Slipped from orbit
Now you’re dangerously close" (Southern Star by Gregory Alan Isakov)
~
"I always wanted to die clean and pretty
But I’d be too busy on working days
So I am relieved that the turbulence wasn’t forecasted
I couldn’t have changed anyways" (The Last Words of A Shooting Star by Mitski)
~
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I hate Tumblr because I could've sworn that I posted this song within the last year or two at LEAST but the search function for my blog is fucking WRONG so - irritation aside (okay, not quite. I will not give Michael Campbell a pass EVEN on his birthday), happy birthday or whatever to my favorite guitarist of all-time; may I one day, without you EVER knowing, write an essay just short of dissertation-length about how you've been under-appreciated this whole time (still! To this day!) and how, to my ears and heart, that is a CRIME. I already started the essay a few years ago. One day I will finish it, although it would be really really great actually if it could become obsolete/unnecessary before I ever share it. I dunno, though, Mike. History has done you an incredible disservice.
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2idiots · 2 years
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Not surprising
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never underestimate the power of a ram break in the middle of the day if you’re feeling antsy
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chuluoyi · 4 months
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✎ stupid liar
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- gojo satoru x reader
no way. impossible. you couldn't possibly be jealous of gravure idol gojo likes so much now... or could you?
genre: jealous!reader vs slightly jealous!gojo, crack, and obviously, fluff !!
note: based on this post :))
a part of gojo's love entries
series masterlist | oneshot masterlist
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"Look, Suguru~ Isn't she pretty?"
Your eye twitched at the sing-song voice, lips twisting into a scowl as you glanced at him from the corner of your twitching eye.
No. You don't care. Not in the slightest.
You stabbed your fork into your cheesecake with more fervor than necessary though.
"Eh?"
"Inoue Waka!" Satoru exclaimed with an enthusiasm that felt almost too bright. "This is her in her newest issue!"
‘Newest issue’ being a bikini special, with the said model lay sprawled in the most revealing piece possible. That indecent photo had also become the wallpaper and lockscreen on your boyfriend's phone, and he shamelessly showed it off with pride.
You steeled yourself. Again. No. It's not a big deal. You weren't jealous, especially not over some... heavily-altered picture of a porn actress!
"Ahh, she does look nice..."
You attacked your now-mutilated cheesecake again, feeling your mood plummet further after hearing Suguru's response. Now you were convinced, all men are dogs!
"—but not exactly my type," he added quickly, his gaze darting towards you. His interest lay more in your reaction, which was why he stirred the pot further: "Is she your type, Satoru?"
Your boyfriend, whether oblivious or intentional, erupted into giddy laughter like a kid. "Ehh... why of course!"
His enthusiastic agreement seemed to echo louder in your ears than it probably should have. The cheesecake, once a treat, now felt like lead in your mouth.
That's it. One more time and—
But then, Suguru's voice cut through your irritated thoughts again, clearly amused. "Well, but I've always thought real beauty lies not just in appearances but in strength of character. Wouldn't you agree, Satoru?"
You knew it, Suguru was indeed the best. You dared to glance up from your plate, curious about your cocky little clown’s response. But you really shouldn't, because Satoru, the absolute cretin he was—
"Why are you getting philosophical all of sudden?" he sullenly grumbled. "Important thing is if she's hot, then she is hot." You could have sworn he briefly side-eyed you before saying, "And no one is hotter than Inoue Waka."
Stupid. Idiot. Insufferable.
Standing up, your patience dissipated into thin air. Your brisk pace made Shoko, who was beside Suguru, to quirk an eyebrow. "Oh, leaving already?"
"I'm going back. Have a practice."
"Ehh? You didn't say?" only now did your shameless boyfriend turned to you fully. "It's still break time—"
"Nanami is waiting for me, goodbye."
You didn't look back even once, too annoyed to notice that Satoru was gawking at your words.
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Satoru couldn't believe this. You ignored him. You actually did… in favor of Nanami!
He was starring daggers at how the two of you conversing so amiably across the hall. You were his girlfriend already, but he could barely able to make you look as sweet as you were with Nanami just now. You were always prickly with him!
Okay, but rest assured—with Suguru he may have doubts, but with Nanami, he was convinced he outshone him by a wide margin, perhaps even ten or twenty times over!
"Why are you sparring with him?" he was sulking when he caught you on the way back to the dorms after school. "Why not Haibara instead?"
You scoffed. "And why do you idolize Inoue Waka and not Yuzuki Tina?"
Oh, so that's what this is about. Suddenly, he didn't feel as miffed as a stupid grin split his face. "Ooh, you're looking into gravure idols too?"
"..."
"Heh, if you're doing it for research purpose, that's totally okay~"
"..."
"Pfft, you're so jealous it's so great to watch—"
You halted abruptly, your annoyance now at its peak. Facing your infuriating boyfriend, you leveled a piercing glare at him that caught him off-guard. "Gojo, from today onwards, we're having a ban."
"Whoa, hey—"
"—and in the meantime, you can print Inoue Waka out of your phone, hang her in your dorm and kiss your wall instead—"
"Just a minute!" Satoru interjected, eyes rounded with slight alarm. "Don't be too hasty!"
He looked at you, really looked at you, and saw that you were actually upset.
A twinge of... what is it? Some kind of guilt, he supposed, pricked his chest. He didn't like seeing you like this, especially knowing he had played a part in it. You should be smiling sweetly and catching his heart with it, not frowning like this.
"Hey," he started, his voice softening as a small, sincere smile crept onto his face. You continued to look away, a stubborn pout fixed on your lips. Darn it, how did you manage to look cute while angry too?
"Look at me, I'm all yours, okay?"
That got you to shoot him a sharp glance, and boohoo!—the ice in your heart thawed slightly as you met his smile, which soon evolved into a toothy grin.
But then, in one swift strike, he pulled his phone out and took a snap of your very-not-ready face.
"Satoru!" you screamed in panic, trying to climb over him to pluck his phone. "No! Delete that!"
"Ah ah," he crisply snickers, raising his hand with the phone high above where you couldn't reach. After pressing a few buttons, he triumphantly showed you his phone screen, now displaying your flop picture in all of its glory.
"That's seriously awful!" you grimaced, a look of horror in your face. "Satoru, for real—"
“You’re adorable,” he countered almost immediately, his smile wide and unabashed—the very winning smile that won your heart. “My girl is cute as heck and you know what the best part is? She’s mine.”
. . .
—okay, you were now positively melting. This was irritating, how can you forgive him this easily?
You huffed, raising your chin high to cover the very sizzling heat in your cheeks. "Hmph. Keep that photo then. But I'm still sparring with Nanami though."
"Mm-hmm, whatever. I hope his foul hairstyle won't affect you—"
"Don't badmouth him! Wait, don't tell me... you feel threatened by him?"
"Wha? Why would I!? I have the better face, better wallet—!"
Together, you walked back to the dorms, the evening air somehow felt lighter around you. Satoru's hand found yours along the way, and the two of you kept up a playful banter, followed by shared giggles afterwards.
. . .
What you didn't realize, however, was that there was another reason behind Satoru's happy laughter... his secret little mission had been a smashing success~
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Epilogue
“I put too much faith in Y/N. I’m disappointed.”
“We are paying Gojo, damn it.”
Suguru and Shoko let out collective sighs, looking at the two of you. They witnessed your little outburst and that sealed everything.
You used to not give in to so easily. Unfortunately now, you were whipped for that idiot too, enough to get jealous over him.
As Suguru opened his wallet, a realization struck. “Shoko, now that I think about it… why am I always losing these bets?”
“You could just suck… or maybe," she glances him over before letting out a snort. "Your bangs just bring bad luck?”
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oh-katsuki · 5 months
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it's been a really long time since i wrote porn for porn's sake. here u go. it's alpha nanami :)) i don't have a title for it oops
cw: alpha!nanami, omega!reader, a/b/o, breeding, knotting, heat and rut cycles, dubcon on both sides, fingering, cohabitation, taboo, protective nanami, i feel like there is a slight primal kink in here, light dacryphilia,
wc: 3.1k
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nanami didn't mean to take in a stray, but that's sort of how it happened. you're staying with him until a particularly careless friend helps to find a suitable living arrangement for you. nanami really isn't sure how it became his problem, but he'd feel awful if he'd told satoru no and left you without somewhere to go, no matter how against living with an omega he is.
frankly, nanami doesn't support the idea of alphas and omegas living together. he thinks it's a bit perverse. there's far too much at risk and the situation can become dangerous if it's the wrong pairing. sure, sometimes it works out. the better of his kind (of which he considers himself to be) give the necessary space and resist the temptation, but the others... take it too far. it'd be easier for you to live with a beta, and nanami wonders why satoru didn't first go to one of them. maybe your pheromones are weak and satoru isn't worried. that's probably why he hadn't noticed them when satoru first brought you by to ask if it'd be okay.
he knows that second gender is a spectrum. some alphas and omegas hardly emit any pheromones at all, even during heat and rut cycles. nanami thinks he likely falls into this category, seeing as he's never been particularly tempted by an omega and very few have ever been all too tempted by him, but it's a gamble. it's—frankly—unethical to ask this of him and though nanami knows that he should have said no, something in his good nature compelled him to say yes.
you've weak pheromones too, he thinks. he, of course, can feel them to a degree, but seeing as you mostly keep to yourself, it's hardly a problem in the first few weeks. frankly, the most tempting thing about you is that you're beautiful. you seem to have an almost standoffish air about you, proud and dignified, with a preference towards a more solitary and observant lifestyle. most of the day, the two of you hardly even see each other, going about your lives entirely separately only to settle into the same house for bed at night.
you don't say much when you're home. in fact, nanami would wonder if you could speak at all if it weren't for the conversations he hears you having on your phone and the little laughs or eyerolls you give in response to his comments. there's understanding there, but it's silent and you hardly ever dignify nanami's words or invitations with a response. maybe you're airing on the side of caution. he wouldn't blame you if you are. so, for the next two weeks the two of you coexist without so much as a hello between you both, silently sharing a space. you stay out of the way and nanami pretends that he isn't slightly unsettled by your constant proximity and the creeping feeling that you don't really like him all too much.
"they're a little difficult," says gojo over the phone. "kinda standoffish and really smart."
"so i've noticed," nanami responds. "i can't say i blame them though. you've put us in a weird spot."
"oh, nanamin, i know you well enough to know that you wouldn't lay a hand on them even if they begged," satoru laughs. "and they really might."
nanami grimaces at satoru's statement.
"i still don't understand why it had to be me," nanami says flatly. "you could have called ijichi. it'd probably be safer."
"how noble," satoru snickers, "but i trust you. hang in there a few more weeks. we've been working on securing an apartment for them and once we do, they'll be out of your hair. you're an angel for letting them stay." he sing-songs into the receiver. nanami holds it away from his ear.
"sure," he says. "it's not really much trouble... it's just.."
"that they're an omega. i get it. stay strong or whatever lol," satoru laughs. "unless of course, you really like them."
nanami huffs and hangs up the phone. satoru's got a good head on his shoulders, but he knew where that conversation was going. satoru was likely to say something about your heat cycle and nanami, being an optimist in cases like these, hopes silently that it won't come for another two weeks. he knows he could ask, but he worries about coming across as something of a creep. nanami is a little orthodox in the sense that he believes alphas and omegas should be separate for this reason exactly. suppressants exist but they don't always work and though nanami has sense about him, he's always had an insecurity about the kind of monster his second gender could make him. it sets him at ease a little that your pheromones appear as weak as they are.
you round the corner into the living room, standing just on the far end of the room. you're wearing pajamas, but you seem to feel no need to cover yourself or hide any perceived indecency. nanami glances at you, making a point to avoid looking at the shape of your body. it's inviting and you look at him for a moment with a small smile before raising one single eyebrow and letting out a low huff of air. nanami decides that you'd heard his conversation and he watches you shake your head as you move to the kitchen to peruse what he has. your hips, swaying slightly with each step, draw his attention to the curve of your ass and he feels ashamed for even having looked.
you're beautiful, that's certain. even the way you move is beautiful. nanami has eyes enough to see that. something stirs inside of you when he speaks, wordless recognition, maybe amusement or irritation, and vice versa. regardless, it's beautiful and nanami finds that the longer you're here the more he has to swallow it down.
you seem to get a little uncomfortable if nanami has people over, even for a moment. not that you've ever said anything about it, but you appear set on edge when he does so in the following weeks, it leads him to not bring anyone over at all. he can't bear the idea of making you uncomfortable. for as little as you've spoken to him since you've been here, nanami finds that he's grown rather fond of you. if things continue this way, he should hate it when you leave. admittedly though, he's looking forward to it a little. nanami feels that you're... a temptation. one he can't really seem to overcome.
one evening, you sit down in the living room with him. it draws his attention to look at you.
"i'm not mean, you know," you say flatly.
nanami is astounded to hear the cadence of your voice so clearly and without prompt. he can only offer a nod in return.
"i'm just picky," you continue, shifting in your seat as if you're made uncomfortable by the way you're sitting. "i have to be, being the way i am and all."
"i understand. i'm not offended," nanami says. "but some people would probably call that rude."
you smile at him, coy and delicate. "would you?"
"maybe," he offers. "if the circumstances were different."
nanami clears his throat, furrowing his eyebrows at your body language. something's off and he wonders if maybe your cycle has begun. he shifts on the couch and turns his full attention to you.
you move over to him and sit just adjacent to his leg. something in him stirs, primal and unrecognizable. you've never been this close and he only now notices that you smell nice, like something light and fresh.
nanami feels his chest stir. "this is the most you've ever said to me, i think."
"sorry," you say.
"don't be," he responds.
this conversation is awkward. it's loaded. it's like a conversation between two people who can't exchange more than a few words without experiencing intense sexual tension. he clears his throat.
"i need your help," you mumble, shifting closer. he knows what you're implying.
"i can't help you," nanami responds through gritted teeth.
"please," you say, standing slowly. you linger in front of him for a moment before reaching out and slowly straddling his legs. nanami flinches as you settle on him, pausing for a moment to breathe. "touch me."
you place your head against his shoulder, fingers grabbing his shirt as if you're agitated. the skin of your cheek is warm against his collarbone and he can feel your hair against his jaw. you twitch lightly when you touch him. carefully, he places a large hand on your head. your whole body flinches, unbelievable warmth soaking into his skin.
you feel like you have a fever and the next time you raise your head, your eyes have gone glassy, face darker. your lips are wet and lightly parted and a layer of sweat covers your forehead.
"not like that," you say, something needy creeping into your voice.
nanami, against his better judgement, rests his hands on your waist. you shudder under his touch and he slowly strokes the exposed skin of your sides with his fingers. trailing the pads of them against raised goosebumps on your skin. between your legs, he can feel heat. he knows you're wet and he knows what you want. nanami isn't sure he can give it to you, he's unsure that he should. it's not illegal, but he feels that it's wrong. something about it is fundamentally wrong and the situation goes against all of his morals. his mind still wanders.
you rest your forehead against his chest, and he feels your pheromones as they hit his nose and soak in through his skin. his body responds, tensing. your breath picks up, little heaves and pants, and you squirm down against him almost involuntarily. nanami feels himself grow hard. it surprises him and shames him. he feels heat rise to his cheeks at the realization that he's pressing up against the inside of your leg, something that makes you stir and settle directly over him. every exhale from you is a borderline whine and the syrupy smell of you grows more intense by the moment. nanami still runs his fingers along your sides, venturing over your tummy and back occasionally.
"just a little bit," you command, rubbing your cheek against him and then placing your mouth on the side of his neck and biting. "i'm sorry. just a little bit."
nanami winces and you drag your hips over him. his hands fly to yours, gripping hard enough as you make you whine.
"i can't," he grits out, speaking directly against the way his cock throbs against your core. he can feel it's dampness, a humidity that soaks through his pants.
"it hurts," you mutter and nanami feels an unpleasant stirring in his stomach. he hates the thought of you being uncomfortable.
"maybe we can find help-" you twitch over him, making him wince, "for you."
you shake your head, "you."
nanami exhales and tips his head back, his fingers still on your waist. he weighs the outcomes of this in his mind. he could push you off and fix you a blanket and a safe space, give you some tools to help yourself and then plug his ears and pretend he doesn't want to do it himself. he imagines the buzzing sound, the way you'd whimper from the other room over, still unfulfilled despite the aid. he thinks about your fingers between your legs, unsatisfying and only serving to worsen the itch. it makes him strangely jealous, nauseous almost, that you should be so uncomfortable in his presence.
you exhales against him and it's a near defeated sound. nanami's fingers buzz with adrenaline, his cock swelling and throbbing every time you so much as shift over him. there's a lack of control in this situation and his fingers move to comfort you almost against his will.
something natural and easy takes over as he slides a big hand down to the front of you and cups your cunt. it feels almost like an out of body experience, but both yours and nanami's humanity drips away slowly to make room for these primal actions. you shudder and nanami's chest swells with relief as he sees your expression. there's a need within him to care for you. it's protective, the same way he'd feel if you were in physical danger.
nanami moves his four fingers over you slowly, his breathing hitching as you push your body against him. he can feel your dampness soaking through your thin shorts and it isn't long before your relief gives way to more need.
"just this once, nanami," you breath against his neck. "please."
nanami's head is filled with something syrupy. probably you. it's probably a chemical reaction caused by you and he knows that any pheromones you're releasing are probably being released in equal amounts by him. they take up space in the room, crowding him so that all he can focus on is you, is the need between your legs that calls to him like song.
"okay," he gives in, pulling your panties to the side and dipping his fingers into you.
you shudder and let out a short cry, thighs trembling. he knows he won't be able to satisfy you like this, but he wants to try. nanami knows though that there is no such thing as nipping it in the bud with these sorts of things and as he begins to move his fingers inside of you with a beckoning motion, he feels himself slip farther away.
you're so wet, dripping down his fingers. your pussy clenches around them, begging for a knot, sucking the two digits up into you and then threatening to push them out. nanami has been with omegas before, but he's never felt himself slip away like this. his humanity leaves him in favor of something animal.
nanami shushes you quietly as he pulls his fingers from your body. you whine and squirm against him, pressing down and grinding against the bulge in his pants. he sucks in a sharp breath and quickly discard your bottoms, leaving you bare and exposed in his lap.
your cunt is sticky and shining, glistening with your wetness. he can smell it, the way you're probably fertile, and the perverse thought crosses his mind that maybe you deliberately avoided your suppressants so that he could do this to you. how out of character for him to think that.
for someone so proper, he makes quick work of pressing the head of his cock against your entrance. you push your body forward to try to take him in and nanami very quickly slides into you. you're tight and with the way your cunt makes him feel, he knows that the stretch must hurt you, but he can't seem to stop. he's so focused on quelling the ache within you, buried deep in that spot where his knot will inevitably catch.
you are barely capable of forming words now, dumb and deaf with your heat. any words of comfort nanami offers to you seem to go in one ear and out the other, but he offers them anyway. they're automatic and they come without his even needing to think about them. things about taking care of you, about knotting you the way you're begging him to, about making sure you're never alone when you have to do this. if he were in a better state of mind, he'd be mortified.
instead, he fucks his hips up into you, holding you by the waist against his throbbing cock. then, when that isn't enough, he lays you on your back on the couch and presses your knees to your chest so that he can go deeper. he needs to get deep enough to where his knot will catch, to be able to stay there to ensure it catches properly. he feels the way air leaves you with every fuck of his hips.
you raise your hand to touch his face, eyes glassed over and watering as gentle tears slip down your cheeks. a silent encouragement that pulls him from his thoughts back to you. nanami turns his head instinctively and kisses the palm of your hand. then, he takes your thumb into his mouth and bites down on the fleshly part at the base of it. he could draw blood if he wanted, but he doesn't. instead he takes your hand as it falls from his lips and kisses you plainly again on the palm before pinning it above your head.
"i'll take care of you," he grunts out and you nod deliriously.
nanami makes quick work of knotting you. he bullies his cock as far in as it will go, swelling and swelling until he sticks. you squirm as he does, gasps growing higher in pitch until you're silenced by the pressure deep in your abdomen. you cum around him, he thinks, pussy fluttering as it throbs around his knot. then, you exhale as the heat recedes into the background with this momentary relief.
nanami winces as he holds himself up over you, slowly returning to his head as the swell of pheromones recedes and leaves only the feeling of the space he takes up in your cunt.
you search his face for something, benevolence maybe, and nanami places a wide palm to your cheek.
"i'm sorry," he breathes as words find him again. "i didn't intend to-"
you shake your head, returning to yourself as well. "don't be, i wanted to."
nanami isn't really sure what to say and you wince under him as he settles his weight a little further, throbbing lightly at the mention.
"hold me," you ask and nanami obliges. he settles fully over you before lifting you so that you're straddling his lap again. you wince and nanami soothes you by gently stroking your face. it's automatic again, the urge to comfort you is well beyond his control.
something in you triggers something in him and it is two full days before either of you are lucid and well enough to separate. satoru calls him multiple times, but nanami ignores him, too preoccupied with his unexpected rut and keeping you comfortable. at present, he's well past the initial guilt and frankly, entirely hellbent on deciding that you should stay. so much for his practicality, nature won out in the end.
nanami doesn't really think he'll ever hear the end of this, especially not from satoru who, when he inevitably gets a hold of them, will tease so relentlessly that it might shock nanami and you back into your senses. he decides to hide out here with you for a little longer, filling the room with the scent of you both until it crowds out everything else. he likes the way you feel nestled up beside him, messy and breathing deeply as you sleep.
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a tag for my friends @antizenin and @kentocidal bc they asked!!!
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mcflymemes · 9 months
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"WE CONSTANTLY FLIRT EVERY TIME WE MEET BUT IT'S NEVER GONE ANYWHERE" PROMPTS *  assorted dialogue for that one pairing that can't stop flirting with each other no matter what, adjust as necessary, nsfw implied
don't make promises you can't keep, darling.
i'm pretty sure you said that to me last time.
everyone else bores me. not you.
you're the only one who ever held my attention.
i'm quite a fan of yours.
this is how it always has to be.
i suppose we're just going to keep doing this?
you always find a way to surprise me.
you're getting better at this, you know.
have you ever considered... us?
now now. not in front of my friends.
behave yourself, or i'm warning you...
when did you start looking at me like that?
i never knew you felt that way about me.
i'm not crossing a line. you are.
i thought you promised to behave.
we talked about this last time.
have you ever thought about what it might feel like to kiss me?
i've only ever thought of you.
wipe that cute, smug look off your face.
i wish you would take this seriously.
what does this mean to you? is it serious, or just flirting?
that's not what you used to say.
keep talking like that and i might end up in your arms.
you know me better than anyone on earth.
is that your way of asking me to bed?
you say that every time, but you never mean it.
how long have you been staring at me?
you're looking rather beautiful tonight.
you flatter me, dear.
everyone knows you want to fuck me.
i could use some time with you. alone.
what if i kissed you right now?
do you touch yourself when you think of me?
you know all my hiding places.
figured you'd find out i was here.
have you been keeping an eye on me?
do you ache for me?
you know my blood better than my heart does.
you must be so lonely.
everything is easier when you're here.
i hate that i think of you.
i wish you would just kiss me.
it's a shame we can never be together.
this is just flirting. this will always be just flirting.
that's not what you usually say when we're alone.
must you always make things so complicated?
you give me such a headache.
oh please. don't flatter yourself.
does it ever get tiring, being so beautiful?
the song made me think of you.
this isn't normal for us. acting this way.
i thought you liked keeping things at arm's length.
i know, i know. you don't want to get involved.
you're the one who started flirting, not me.
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narutoadthetoadkage · 2 years
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I dislike seeing people talk about how “cringy” they used to be. Like today I saw someone saying they don’t know how anyone could’ve been friends with them back then. I don’t know, maybe because they liked the same things as you and that there’s no shame in enjoying something as long as you’re not hurting anyone. Whenever some says something they used to like is super cringy, all I can think of is their inner child/younger self hearing that. Perhaps time on earth shouldn’t be used to judge things so much. And everyone should just enjoy what they like because life is short.
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perfectlyoongi · 5 days
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THE FEELING OF BEING ALIVE
‧₊˚ ┊synopsis ... of all the emotions you've ever felt, none were worthy of making you feel alive; that is, until you invited your best friend over to your house after a night out.
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‧₊˚ ┊fandom ... bts. ㅤㅤ‧₊˚ ft. ... jungkook x afab!reader. ‧₊˚ ┊genre ... long-shot. ㅤㅤ‧₊˚ content ... smut (make-out, dry humping, tit play, bitting, cúm play, mi thinks a liiiil masturbatíon (m receiving), needy jk. if u squint u see that he likes u) - mdni pls !!, alcohol, mature language, best friends to ???, pet names (angel, love). i swear this is not angsty !! ㅤㅤ‧₊˚ word count ... 3.8k. ‧₊˚ ┊cole's note ... this was so f-ing hard oh god hope it's decent lol ♡ enjoy !! - not proof read, eng is not my 1st language xx
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What does it feel like to be alive?
All your life you have sought the thrill of feeling alive. Between complex relationships and obscene adventures, years of your existence were dedicated to searching for the answer to that question that tormented your mind so much.
It was impossible not to think about something else – you always felt empty, like a puppet in the hands of a destiny that had little interest in you. Any emotion you felt, you felt vaguely, there really was nothing that made you happy or left you crying. You were simply hollow. Nothing existed in you.
As such, you were searching. You desperately searched for emotions and stories that could bring a little meaning to your life. You didn't ask for much, just a small sensation that would make you finally understand why you were here, why you were alive. However, until now, nothing lived up to your expectations – you continued to live day after day with the hope of a change that never seemed to come. But you weren't going to give up.
For now, you just wanted to have fun – who knows; maybe it was in the loud melodies of the club or in the sweet drops of your drink that you would find what you were looking for most. Or even in the hands of your best friend that didn't seem to let go of your body.
The club was full, noisy. The intense smell of alcohol invaded the space, drowned out by the loud and absurd music that echoed through the walls of the place. Different people participated in jovial rituals between rhythmic movements and colorful drinks, filling the club with pure entertainment and euphoria. And you were one of those people.
With your left hand you held a half-empty glass, moving it above your head according to the rhythm of the music that was playing. Your right hand was resting on Jungkook's shoulder, who, with both of his hands, held your hips as he helped you sway to his favorite song.
Jungkook had arrived today from his tour. It was your custom to meet up whenever he returned home, spending hours talking about the singer's adventures, recounting everything he had missed while he was away from your life. And, as usual, you always ended up in a bar or club, wanting to end your day completely drunk on pure ecstasy.
For some time now your words had lost all meaning. Both you and Jungkook were too focused on the alcohol coursing through your veins to hold any conversation. Not that it was necessary. Between you and Jungkook, there was no need to exchange words – a simple look was enough to understand each other.
The song was coming to an end, Jungkook slowing your movements as he held your left hand and pulled your glass towards him. After sipping your sweet drink, Jungkook brought his face closer to yours, his lips almost kissing your ear to make himself heard in the midst of that commotion.
“It’s already three in the morning.”
You nodded and, after finishing your drink, you held Jungkook's hand and left the club, bypassing men and women who still insisted on having a good time.
“Come on, I’ll take you home.”
Jungkook wrapped his arm around your neck, pulling you close to him before starting to walk through the city towards your house.
The night was beautiful. Sky clear of any clouds, some stars shining shyly around a single, full moon. Silence soaked in a gentle summer breeze, the whole city asleep as you and your best friend walked the sleepy streets that led you home.
Small laughs escaped your mouths. Not because any jokes were being told, but because Jungkook insisted on hindering your steps, wanting you to stumble in the air for his entertainment. The path to your house was short, a little bumpy with so much laughter and pushing, but it was genuine, covered with a blanket of pure comfort.
“Wanna come in?”
You were looking for your keys while waiting for a response from Jungkook; with his hands in the pockets of his pants, looking at the building before him, Jungkook smiled openly at your question, having secretly wished that you would invite him in – he had just missed you too much.
In the elevator of your building, you laid your head next to Jungkook, closing your eyes for a moment, as you felt his hand grab your waist to keep you safe. The silence between you was comforting, enveloping you in a small hug of serenity and warmth; in the peace between you, you felt safe, Jungkook's hand always attached to you reminding you that, with him, you had nothing to fear – and that was just one of the many reasons that made you like Jungkook so much.
You turned on the light in your apartment with a tired sigh.
Upon entering your house, your body instantly guided you to the kitchen where you took two beers from your fridge and gave one to Jungkook. After a small sip, you held your friend's hand and took him to your room, where the stereo was eager to make you dance one last time.
You turned on the music quickly, lowering the sound a little as not to disturb the neighbors, and, still drunk with the emotions of the club, you let your body move slowly to the sound of the music.
Jungkook sat on your bed, drinking his beer while replying to messages that had been on his phone since the beginning of the night. He rocked his body unconsciously, his thumb tapping quickly on his cell phone screen, wanting to ditch his obligations as a friend so he could focus entirely on the beer, on the music, on you.
“T’night feels long,” you smiled as you changed the song, your head bobbing to the beat. “In a good way, ‘course.”
“The night only started when we arrived at the club,” Jungkook let out a small laugh and threw his cell phone to the other side of the bed. “If you wan’, we can extend it ‘till dawn.”
You looked at Jungkook and smiled – you sealed his suggestion with a simple curve of your lips and a flutter of your eyelashes.
Even before Jungkook got up, you placed your beer on your bedside table and placed yourself in front of your best friend. Jungkook gently tilted his head to look at you, smile on his lips, tenderness in his hands as he placed them gently on your waist.
You placed your forehead against his while your body slowly danced to the music that echoed throughout the room. Your smile was big, but not bigger than Jungkook's who was still looking at you tenderly, the sparkle in his eyes making him even more adorable.
You had drunk too much – that's what you believed, that's what you repeated to yourself when your hands fell on Jungkook's shoulders and your body decided to sensualize your movements. And Jungkook let you dance. Taking his hands off of you, Jungkook just stared at you as he watched you move so slowly and sensually to the music.
He opened his legs on instinct and you placed yourself between them, rotating your body. You bent down gently, your ass brushing against Jungkook in a movement that was too quick for his liking. He just smiled, his tongue touching his cheek in an attempt to control himself as he saw you turn your body again and take the beer out of his hand and place it next to yours.
You were smiling yourself, teasing Jungkook with your tempting lips. And even before you walked away from him, Jungkook grabbed your hips again, pulling you towards him.
Your foreheads came together once again, your smiles still stuck on your lips. And a silence followed, only broken by the music from your stereo. However, between you and Jungkook, there was no need to exchange words – a simple look was enough to understand each other. And, as such, you and Jungkook leaned in at the same time for a kiss.
It started slowly, Jungkook tasting your lips, while he gently squeezed your body; but he quickly became thirsty, hungrier for you. Your hands held Jungkook's face, your fingers caressing your friend's silky hair as he pulled you closer to him, more than was possible.
You moved a little away from Jungkook to breathe, your lips so close that you could still taste him. One tease, two teases and, before you could tease Jungkook's lips a third time, he quickly brought your lips together again, using his tongue to accommodate itself in your mouth.
Jungkook guided you to his lap with his hands, making you sit on his legs and pulling, over and over again, your body close to his. His lips separated from yours and trailed your face, caressing your cheek, your jaw, your neck. Jungkook's lips worshipped your neck, leaving wet kisses on your skin, making you sigh as he gently sucked your essence. Your hand tangled in Jungkook's dark hair, gently pulling some strands when his kisses felt more enjoyable, making him smile against your neck.
Jungkook still had his hands on you, but he wanted more.
Still lost in your scent and focused on your neck, Jungkook's hands went down to your thighs, squeezing you gently before moving them up again, hiding them under your clothes. You sighed when you felt Jungkook's warm fingers on your skin — the way he squeezed you gently made you feel important.
“Kookie…”
“Hm?” He moved his lips back, following the same path as before, loving every corner of your skin. “Tell me, angel.”
You opened your mouth slightly, letting a new sigh escape your lips when Jungkook squeezed you again and pulled you towards him, your intimacy very slightly feeling Jungkook becoming hard.
“We’ still friends, right?”
He kissed you a first time and smiled. He kissed you a second time and ran his hands up your back. He kissed you a third time and nodded.
“Best friends,” he corrected you, smile stuck on his lips, fingers stroking your back.
“Good,” you kissed Jungkook again desperately, as if he were the answer to all the questions that clouded your mind. You were greedy. You only wanted him. You just wanted more of him.
Your hands grabbed Jungkook's shirt and, as quickly as you could, freed him from the fabric, throwing it roughly to the floor of your room. You could finally feel him. Your fingers lingered on your best friend's chest; caressing Jungkook made you feel lost, totally intoxicated by the softness of his skin, by the absurdity of the whole situation – what were you doing?
You decided to be the one to love this time, your lips getting lost on Jungkook's neck while kisses were left as memories of a fantastic night. In the crook of Jungkook's neck, your teeth sank into his hot skin, making him let out a small sigh that lingered forever in your room. More. You wanted to hear more.
Without realizing it, you started to move your hips, resting your forehead on Jungkook's shoulder, the friction forced by you making you sigh softly. And him too. Jungkook held your thighs again, helping your movements, sighing with his eyes closed at the feeling of having you so close to him.
Jungkook was starting to get impatient. He wanted more of you. He needed more of you.
He quickly took off your shirt, wasting no time admiring your body, kissing your skin immediately as his hands toke off your bra. With your breasts exposed, Jungkook became hungrier. His lips began to kiss your collarbone, trailing along your soft skin in paths unknown to him; it was only a matter of time before Jungkook found himself with your breasts.
You let a small moan escape your mouth when Jungkook began worshiping your breasts. Your friend's tender lips kissed your boob thirstily, gently sucking on your skin, carefully biting your very appetizing nipple. Jungkook's mouth was an expert at worshiping you. And you could only moan softly, gently. One of Jungkook's hands squeezed your other breast, his slender fingers pinching, teasing your exposed nipple. He seemed starving, completely hungry for you; Jungkook just wanted more of you, more of your smooth skin, more of your sensual moans.
He lingered on your breasts, making sure every corner of your skin was marked with his saliva. Your moans filled the room, motivating Jungkook to continue, to not stop worshiping you. He was completely intoxicated with you.
“Kook…” your voice came out weak, in a whisper, covered in small moans and teasing sighs. “Jung…kook…”
“Yea, my angel,” Jungkook moved slightly away from your chest, now looking at you for the first time since he had undressed you. His sweet eyes roamed every inch of your skin, admiring how naturally beautiful you really were, feeling more and more needy with each passing second.
You gently moved your hips, pressing your intimacy to Jungkook's, causing you both to let out a small groan.
“Can we…” Jungkook’s fingers traced your body, outlining every curve and mark with a provocative delicacy that only left you sighing deeply. “Can we do… more?”
Jungkook's response came in the form of a kiss, massaging your lips once again while his big hands slid to your ass and squeezed it tightly. You moaned softly when Jungkook bit your neck hard, marking his devotion on your skin, leaving you a memory of a night that had become magical.
Your hands quickly grabbed Jungkook's pants, impatiently unbolting them, causing Jungkook to laugh a little. But you didn't care; you hadn't even fully heard him. You needed more of Jungkook, you just wanted more of Jungkook.
In a quick maneuver you pulled Jungkook's pants, leaving them lying on the floor surrounding his feet, and looked at him. Your eyes shone with desire. Wherever you focused your gaze, you could only see fascination painted on Jungkook's face; his lips were slightly open, begging for one more kiss from you, begging for one more contact with your body; his eyes, so sweet and bright, now consumed by the greed that ran through his body, were locked on you, silently asking you if you wanted more, if you should continue.
For a moment, everything was static.
Your hands were resting on Jungkook's shoulders. Jungkook's hands were resting on your hips. Your eyes were lost in Jungkook’s attractive features. Jungkook's eyes were lost in your delicate features.
Just a moment. Just a second.
You were going to continue. You just wanted to continue.
You rushed in for an intense kiss, answering the question dictated by your best friend's eyes. As he kissed you, completely soaked in your essence, intoxicated with your fragrance, Jungkook's hands looked for the button of your pants, wanting to undress you as quickly as possible – he wanted to feel you.
You left Jungkook's lap for mere moments, just long enough for your pants to fall to the floor. You didn't have time to waste. Every second was precious when shared with Jungkook.
When you sat down on Jungkook's lap again, he let out a groan. You were wet, a lot. Your fluids passed through the fabric of your panties. And Jungkook felt it. Through his boxers, Jungkook felt your excitement.
Your hand went down to your friend's boxers as your lips seduced his neck. Above the fabric, your hand caressed Jungkook's penis, feeling how hard he was – because of you. Your thumb gently pressed the tip of Jungkook's cock, gently caressing it stimulated by the pre-cum that painted his boxers.
“F…fuck, ugh!” He could only groan. Feeling your touch, even if it was blocked by a cloth, drove him insane. With his head tilted and his eyes closed, Jungkook allowed himself to be pampered by you.
His mind was completely covered with pure pleasure and euphoria. Your lips kissed Jungkook's neck, your hand caressed Jungkook's cock, and Jungkook felt special at that moment, important.
“I want…” Jungkook’s voice was lost in his moans, trying to release words beyond the profanities that trapped his lips. “I want… you. Agh! More… please.”
You held Jungkook's shoulders with your hands again and, now stimulated by the fluids that stained your underwear, your hips began to move gently. The friction you caused seemed divine, guiding your mind to paths of pure pleasure and desire, creating moans in your mouth that were released weakly. Your voice stuck to Jungkook's skin, fixing the euphoria that ran throughout your body in his chest.
With his hands, Jungkook caressed your thighs. Feeling your soft skin in his hands as you brushed against him drove Jungkook crazy. Sighs and moans filled your room, completely drowning out the music that insisted on dictating the rhythm of your movements – but you didn't hear it, you were too focused on Jungkook to notice what was happening around you.
You kissed Jungkook again, your hands pressing down on his body. Jungkook let himself be guided by you, ending up laying down on your bed while he delighted in your intense kisses and precise movements. Your lips were poisonous, corrupting Jungkook's composure, forcing him to moan into your mouth, to squeeze your thighs, to get harder and harder.
“Jungkook…”
How divine it was to hear his name being pronounced by your sinful lips, adorned by the pleasurable sighs that escaped you. “Yea, my love?” And how sublime it was to call you that word with his hoarse voice, immersed in the desire that was trapped in his intense sighs.
“Tell me…” you moved away from Jungkook’s lips and approached his ear, your lips almost caressing it, your tongue teasing his sensitive skin. “Tell me when you’re close.”
You kissed Jungkook's neck, once, twice, three times, and after marking your teeth in the crook of his neck once more, you straightened your back, freely rocking your body on top of Jungkook.
Your friend's eyes were locked on you, completely mesmerized by your sensual movements. There was something about the way your hips moved, the way you brushed against Jungkook so perfectly, that made him impatient for more, completely desperate for you. But he just looked at you, admiring your every movement, retaining in his memory every sound that came out of you.
You were covered in pleasure. Even though you didn't feel Jungkook's penis in its entirety, you were excited – the friction was good, too good, making your intimacy increasingly wet, increasingly thirsty for Jungkook. You wanted more, you wanted much more. But you just brought your hands to your breasts, caressing them with the memory of Jungkook's touch in your mind, moving your hips faster.
Beautiful. You were simply beautiful. With your eyes closed, head tilted back and lips slightly open, you looked magnificent. With hands on your breasts and intimacy soaked, you were divine. Unique. That image was unique to Jungkook. Something he felt was not for his eyes, too lewd for him to be aware of. But, fuck!, how perfect you were.
“I’m…” Jungkook swallowed a moan before speaking, taking a deep breath when you touched the head of his cock. “I’m… agh!, close… close…!”
You smiled at yourself. So fast it was. So hungry he was.
You kissed Jungkook again once, twice, three times, and before separating your lips from his, your hands held Jungkook's, guiding them to your ass, making you smile.
“Use me however you want.” Your voice sounded so low, so perverse in Jungkook's ear that he couldn't stifle a new moan. You were too much for him.
Squeezing your ass, Jungkook helped increase the speed of your movements, making the pressure on him more intense for both of you.
Both you and Jungkook were out of control. Lost in each other's moans, disoriented by the exaltation that coursed through your bodies as part of you. You hid your face in the crook of Jungkook's neck, his fragrance mixed with his sweat clouding your mind. Nothing else existed at that moment. You felt nothing else at that moment other than the excess pleasure that Jungkook gave you with each pressure on your intimacy.
“Jung… fuck! Jungkook, I’m…”
“I’m close,” he repeated, breathlessly, not fully hearing you. His mind was stuck on the way you stained his boxers, completely focused on how perfectly you caressed his penis. “Close…”
“Fuck! Agh, Jung… U-ugh!” You bit Jungkook again when you felt a knot in your stomach, your head spinning when you finally came. A feeling of freedom washed over you, trapping your lips and staining your panties.
You felt good at that moment, completely fulfilled while Jungkook still kept pace, caressing your intimacy excessively, forcing you to let out moans and meaningless words, totally drunk with pleasure.
“Please…” your voice was hoarse, low, not wanting to be heard in its entirety so well you were feeling. “Jungkook, please, aghn!”
“Again,” Jungkook asked between moans, feeling his limit approaching faster and faster. “My… ugh… name!… again.”
You obeyed out of instinct.
“Jungkook.”
Like an enchantment hovering in the air, Jungkook's name sounded once again, embellished by your tired voice, framed by the pleasure he caused you. And that was all it took. Enticed by your voice, Jungkook couldn't contain his euphoria – pearl strands marked stains on his dark boxers, a long, low grunt accompanying Jungkook's climax as he slowed down his movements until he left you motionless on top of him.
Both you and Jungkook were panting.
Still processing the ecstasy that completely washed over your bodies, you and Jungkook remained lying with your eyes closed – your head resting on Jungkook's chest, his hands still resting on your ass. There was a moment of pause. Brief seconds of silence that were cut by music that was too pure for the occasion.
You finally smiled.
You gently lifted your torso and moved a little away from Jungkook's intimacy, just enough to be able to tease him. Your fingers invaded Jungkook's privacy driven by curiosity and were quickly bathed in his essence. You let that white fluid paint your fingers as you created art on Jungkook's penis with his own essence – up, down, on the head, along the entire length.
A small moan sounded between Jungkook's smile, his head lifting a little to see you.
“What’re you doin’?”
“I just wanna see the damage I did,” you shrugged and continued to stimulate Jungkook with his own cum as you smiled to yourself.
“If you continue, you’ll have to take responsibility.”
“Doesn’t seem that bad.”
You looked at Jungkook innocently, the contrast in your wicked smile being enough to drive your friend crazy once again.
All your life you have sought the thrill of feeling alive. And that night, when held in your best friend's arms and drunk on the pleasure he gave you, you almost found the feeling of being alive.
Maybe, but just maybe, the feeling of being alive was similar to the feeling of being worshipped by Jungkook.
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ㅤㅤ‧₊˚ feedback is appreciated ♡
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honeytonedhottie · 20 days
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growing ur femininity⋆.ೃ࿔*:・🧁
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UR ENVIRONMENT ;
provide a safe space for ur femininity to flourish. this not only includes ur environment and what u surround urself with but WHO u surround urself with. its like trying to grow a delicate flower in an arctic tundra.
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environments of scarcity and desperation destroy femininity so if u find urself in environments/situations like that then do whatever u need to do to get urself out of environments like that. instead what u should prioritize when creating an environment for ur femininity to thrive is comfort, luxury, beauty, abundance, glamor and PEACE.
DO YOUR HEALING WORK ;
do ur shadow work, journalling, meditation ALL OF THAT. do the necessary steps to heal and start ur healing journey if you haven't already. water urself so that u can grow like the beautiful flower you are. confront ur past and dont let ur past control ur future.
TAKE UR TIME ;
dont constrain urself and dont be in a rush all the time. luxury is the leisure to do what u want at ur own pace. dedicate time for relaxation and remind urself that theres no need to rush! ur in the race but you've already won ✨
CREATIVE OUTLETS ;
i found that my femininity was strengthened when i allowed myself to express and be creative. doing things like dancing, song writing, journalling, keeping a blog etc has just been so good for my girlyness as a whole.
CENSOR UR SOCIAL MEDIA INTAKE ;
dont consume that toxic alpha male content 💀, or content with "pick-me's", stay away especially from those videos where men and women go in front of a camera to be rated. like, thats the most brain rot shit u could do. be careful of what u consume and make sure that u dont over-consume social media.
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productivefairy · 5 days
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your guide to build a morning routine:
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So, do u wanna build a morning routine because it can give your day a structure, boost productivity and just makes you feel better? Here is how :-
start your day atleast 2-1.5 hour before your work or school. so u are not in a rush.
your morning routine should be realistic so that u can stick to it. cause' lets not lie the morning routine u see your fav wellness influencer have is hard to do.
Consistency is the key. The more days you follow your routine the more it becomes as habit.
Dont use phone or social media during mornings There are four pillars essential to have a morning routine which is healthy for your body and mind.
1.Things that keeps your body healthy.
2.Things that keeps your mind healthy.
3.Things that keeps your surrounding healthy.
4.Things that you enjoy.
Lets talk about each one, one by one:-
Things that keep you healthy :-
i) Drink water first thing in morning. If you dont like the taste of water. Add lemon or lime in it or maybe citrus infused water. But please drink water it'll help you sm.
ii)Do stretching, yoga, cardio, pilates, hot girl walks. Basically anything that keeps your body moving. It boosts productivity and puts you in good mood.
iii) eat healthy. Well it doesnt mean count all your calories or drink nasty juices NO. This means eating a healthy breakfast that will keep you full.
iv) Do your skincare and take shower in mornings.
v) Brush and floss your teeth. Oral healths are often neglected but hot girl like you shouldnt do that.
2.Things that keep your mind healthy :-
i) Meditating. Meditate for atleast 5-10 mins before starting your work day. It just stops the rush going in your mind. you can do guided meditation.
ii) If you believe in this then you can do affirmations in front of mirror. universalitgirlblog2 has some amazing affirmations you should check it out.
iii) Journal. If you are someone who enjoys journal then do it as it can set the tone of your day.
iv) . Make to do lists in morning it helps you declutter your day.
3.Things that keeps your surrounding healthy.
i)If you happen to have windows in your room then open them up. Lets the wind and sun come through.
ii)Make your bed. Its a kind gesture toward yourself and a less messy bed can fasten up your productivity.
iii) wash your breakfast dishes. or atleast the plate you ate in. It helps you not have a pile of dishes.
iv) optional but take a dusting cloth and play a song as your timer and just clean the surfaces which seems to have dirt. Just 3-4 mins and you'll feel better.
4.Things that you enjoy:-
This part is super important cause' if you follow a morning routine you deserve a reward and if one someday when u are not your best even then you deserve pamper. I dont know you or your intrest but you do so just add what you like in your routine. You wanna read that book go ahead read it, grab a starbucks drink on your way home, cook yourself a beautiful breakfast, get dressed as main character, water your plants or maybe just stare at the sky admiring them.
What do you do when you are not in the mood or you are on your periods or feeling underweather?
i) Make an altearnate easy routine to do which mostly consist of things that you like.
ii)Do only first step of your regular routine like you dont wanna excercise then just play the video of routine that you follow.
Additional tips-
ROMANTICIZE. This is the key. Enjoying and being grateful for most mundane moments of your day. Buy yourself a flowers. Acts as you are on vogue while doing skincare. Blast your fav playlist in morning.
Dont overwhelm yourself. You cant change your life in a day but you can add habits each day one by one.
Remember why you are doing this. You are doing this cause you love yourself thats why you wanna give everything to your body and your mind to make it its best version.
I try my best to make these post as concise as I can but I just feel like everything is necessary and dont wanna miss out on anything. I hope this helps.
613 notes · View notes
ghost-proofbaby · 29 days
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too sweet (astarion ancunin x reader)
"you know, you're bright as the morning, as soft as the rain. pretty as a vine, as sweet as a grape. [...] you're too sweet for me."
summary: astarion realizes you're too sweet for him, and he probably shouldn't let this go further than necessary. but, oh, he's going to. isn't he? (based on this request and the song 'too sweet' by hozier <3)
pairing: astarion ancunin x gn!reader
warnings: spoilers for games regarding camp dialogue with astarion, discussion of astarion's past trauma, talks of self-loathing/disgust with sex, vague mentions & allusions to sex having been had, manipulation at it's finest! minors dni.
wc: 2k+
a/n: i just wanted to get inside this man's mind when he drops that fucking line the second time he tries to sleep with us/tav. why does his face fall like that? why?
divider by @firefly-graphics <3
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As Astarion observes the rise and fall of your chest in the soft morning light, he can only think one thing: shit. He fucked up. 
And he had spent most of the early hours trying to retrace his steps, trying to decipher exactly where his monumental mistake had begun, but it seemed useless. 
It could have been somewhere between the first and third bottle of wine shared with you last night during festivities, where he’d sweet-talked you to the high Hells until you’d agreed to return to his bedroll in the dead of night. Where he’d made the joke that wasn’t all that funny – the joke that he loved you. Three pretty words tried out on his tongue, and they hadn’t been nearly as light-hearted as he’d wanted them to be. More of an experiment, a quick sip to see if he liked the taste. And he had fucked up, because he did like the taste. He liked the sweetness that stuck to every corner of his mouth as he delivered the sugar-coated lie to you, his entire face falling as a new weight appeared in his chest. 
But perhaps it had been the first night he tasted you – well, your blood, that is. The night he’d awoken from a nightmare of Cazador and in his vulnerability, had chosen you as his victim of yet another experiment. A test to see if he was truly free. One drop of a thinking creature’s blood, that was all he needed. But you’d given more than he’d bargained for, and your cloy ichor had coated his taste buds so addictively, and he had just known that night was only the beginning. It was the first time, but certainly not the last. 
He thinks he could drink in whatever you offered him, and only that, for the rest of his days while still finding some sickly, twisted version of reprieve regardless. Not a drop more than he needed, always vying for more. 
He’d be okay with that type of hunger, that type of yearning, and that might have been his first real mistake. 
Or maybe, just possibly, it had been that very first meeting. Maybe he had doomed himself from the moment he’d pressed a blade to your neck, when he had dragged you to the ground with him and felt all that warmth, all that fear, radiating off of you. So frightful, and you still had offered your help to him when it was all said and done. Perhaps that was when he had well and truly screwed himself over. One simple introduction, void of his usual wine and flowers, and he’d locked himself in for pure trouble. 
Not even the fun kind, at that. What a shame. 
At the end of the day, or rather the beginning of the day as it is now, it doesn’t matter where his threads had started to unravel. All that matters is that they were – every carefully thought out line of his plans had all frayed, all detangled from the bigger picture, all because of you. 
Heart of gold, blood of honey. You were far too sweet for him, and he knew it. 
“Having fun, are you?” 
“I am, it’s hard not to with you.”
You’d taken each of his tactics in stride, hadn’t you? Whereas his face had nearly crumbled beneath the weight of that beautiful lie, insides twisting uncomfortable as the humor had slipped through his fingers, your eyes had only glittered as you bit back a smirk. To so lightly tease him, to banter right back with him, instead of see the truth behind it all. He didn’t know if you were simply that naive or if you were another kindred soul – Perhaps you were finding just as much safety, just as much sanctuary, in whatever dance he’d dragged you into. An entanglement of lies, a blithe facade, a daring smile that whispers come now, play with me. 
And play with him, you had. 
You’d played with him, you’d drank with him, and you’d now slept with him. Twice. 
“You’re up early,” your voice murmurs, silken tone cutting through all his racing thoughts. 
He hadn’t even noticed you had stirred, rousing yourself out from underneath his stolen blankets to peer at him curiously as he perched on the edge of the bedroll. As far from you, and as far from your sweetness, as possible. 
“Oh, you know what they say, my dear,” he chirps, rolling his shoulders as the act wraps him back up. The charismatic charmer. The illusive rogue, trained impeccably to coax you in and secure his safety, “No rest for the wicked.” 
He’d awoken before you last time, too. Had watched the sun rise and enjoyed the warmth of it plastering across his skin long before you’d ever woken up. He half-hopes you’ll be less talkative this time; he half-hopes you’ll try to rope him into whatever discussion you can, if only for a few extra seconds of your attention. 
You were too sweet. Too sugary on his tongue, too soothing in his chest. He shouldn’t entertain you – he shouldn’t let this go further than necessary. 
You hum thoughtfully, the blanket slipping and exposing more of your chest. With the light flickering in from his tent’s entrance, he can easily spot those two scarring dots along your jugular where his fangs fit perfectly, “I don’t know if I’d describe you as wicked, lover.” 
“No?” Roped into discussion, it is. “How would you describe me then?” 
He’s not comfortable in this lighting. He feels feverish beneath your steady stare, the way your eyes take their time as you look over every inch of him. The languid observation has him convinced you’re seeing right through him – your glance can pierce right through all his armor and expose every flaw. You see him for the monster he is, you see him for the bitter soul he’s become, you see him as the unworthy spawn he believes himself to be. 
He almost swears that you even see right through his nice, simple plan at hand, not so easily fooled as he had believed you to be. 
“Charming, certainly,” you suddenly sigh, sitting up and keeping your body mostly covered still with that knitted blanket. He’d only snagged it because the shade of the wool nearly matched your eyes – not that he was paying attention to your eyes, of course, “But then again, you’d have to be to have bedded me twice now, wouldn’t you?” 
“We can always make it thrice,” he banters back, ignoring the bile that builds at the insinuation. But if that’s what it takes – laying on his back over and over again – to guarantee your protection, he’ll do it. He’d do it a thousand times over to keep himself as far away from Cazador’s chokehold as possible, “Does that entice you, love?”
When he turns his body fully, beginning a carefully and calculated crawl up the bed roll, ready to slot his body back between your thighs and encourage you to have his way with him, you stop him. The heel of your foot delicately presses against his chest, your head tilted curiously before you shake it. 
“Who’s the eager pup now, Astarion?” 
He likes the way his name drips off your tongue. Almost as if he might be made of the same sugar and spice as you, the same pure honey flowing through your veins also inhabiting his. You say it like a song, articulate it like the sweetest fruit. 
He shouldn’t like it. It shouldn’t be able to overpower his lingering disgust with himself so easily. 
“It’s hard not to be eager when it comes to you,” he says the line with good practice, beckoning a purr to his tone that had always won over the victims he’d entrap in dark taverns back in the city, “I said the Gods had made you just to ruin me, and I meant it.”
He’d meant it more than he’d realized. It wasn’t just your body that had been sculpted to draw him in – it was everything. Your entire aura, your entire glacé demeanor. All that innocence and all that geniality enticed him more than he could ever admit. You were certainly going to ruin him, so wholly and so entirely. You’d already started to, really. 
You don’t respond at first, and he swears he has you. You’re locked in on his distraction, caught up in his web, just as he needs you to be. One lithe hand lifts to your ankle, cool fingers wrapping around your warm skin as he begins to lower his lips, ready to pepper kisses up your leg. Prepared to offer you his mouth, his body, in return for the one thing he needs. Self-loathing be damned. 
Old habits die hard, right along with pride, and he’s not quite ready to bury either at your grave yet. 
But just as he presses the first chaste kiss to your skin, nearly taken back by how your sweetness still breaks through the salty surface, you’re pulling the limb away from him. Your knee draws back and a disarming smile has risen on your cheeks, eyes glittering at him just as they had the night before. 
“I suppose I’ll have to come find you when everyone is asleep, then.” 
“I’ll be waiting.” 
What exactly had he been waiting for? You, of course. But had he been waiting for you to find him solely for what had transpired? To explore your portfolios of talents once more, as he had put it? Or had it been for something more… precarious? 
Was he nothing more than a prey, waiting for you to be his demise? 
Had he actually been waiting for this? 
The challenging look in your eyes as they reflected back stars, the warmth of your skin so close to him he nearly melts into you. The upturn of the corners of your mouth, outlining the way you certainly know something that he doesn’t. A look you wear well, a look that shakes his foundations and rattles his bones. 
“As tempting as you are, I’ll have to decline. Duty calls, as they say.” 
Can you see right through him? 
He should be more deflated when you start going through the motions; he should be pouting or overthinking it all as he watches you gather your clothes once more, covering up the few bite marks of his that litter your skin. Every moment you prepare to leave his tent should be one spent overthinking where he’d gone wrong – why didn’t you want him? Was his plan even going to work? 
Were you truly too sweet for him? Would he have been better off trying to romance the likes of Gale for the safety just shy of his grasp now?
He doesn’t, though. For once, his mind is quiet as he watches you patter about. The bile retreats, the disgust fades. For the first time in a very long time, Astarion is leaving this interaction not feeling used. 
Maybe it’s in the way you cheekily snatch one of his shirts as you both pretend he doesn’t notice it, or maybe it’s in the gentle caress of your fingers through his hair as you pass him to pick back up your discarded weapon. Maybe it’s in every shy glance you offer him, or maybe it’s in your ever present grin. 
Watching you leave should worry him, but it only feels like a breath of fresh air. A wind that comes sweeping in with the promise of next time just as you pull back the flap to his tent. 
And he hadn’t realized he’d been waiting patiently for you to turn back to him until you do just this, offering him one final glance that sets him aflame, “Oh, and before I forget – you can feed on me tonight, if you need to.” 
Heart of gold, blood of honey. He couldn’t say no even if he wanted to.
“Then I’ll see your delicious self tonight,” he takes a pause, one big and unnecessary breath filling his chest alongside that warmth you bring to him. The fearless leader, the kindest soul. His most apt nickname for you yet falls off his lips in a content sigh, “My sweet.”
He shouldn’t entertain you – he shouldn’t let this go further than necessary. 
But he’s going to. Gods, he is going to. 
After all, the sweetest fruits always fall from the most forbidden branches, do they not?
605 notes · View notes
bookyeom · 1 month
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pairing: Jeonghan x reader word count: 4.7k warnings: kissing, a swear or two, Jeonghan is wet and yes that's a warning, long-haired Jeonghan which is also a very serious warning
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Author’s Note: this fic is part of the Thirteen Valentines event, but can be read as a standalone! also, i would suggest listening to the song listed below to get a feel for the vibe of the fic, but it’s not necessary.
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nonsense by sabrina carpenter
i'll be honest looking at you got me thinking nonsense cartwheels in my stomach when you walk in i can’t find my chill, i must have lost it i don't even know, i'm talking nonsense
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Yoon Jeonghan comes into your life with the same chaos and tumult of the heavy rain that’s pounding down against your window.
It’s during the middle of an October storm when he shows up at your door. There are loud knocks reverberating throughout your apartment, and you can hear a man calling out for someone named Soonyoung to just ‘let him in already’. It’s followed by more unintelligible mumbles, though you think you can make out the words ‘rain’ and ‘soaking wet’ — you think there might be a few curse words thrown in there, too. Honestly, you’d have ignored the guy if he didn’t sound so… defeated. But you feel bad, so you open the door.
And lock eyes with one of the most gorgeous men you’ve ever seen. 
Well, you think to yourself, damn. 
You watch as the man in front of you stops mid-sentence and mid-knock, hand hanging in the air between the two of you for a moment. You take a moment to note the long, dark hair that falls just below his ears, the ends of it dripping rainwater onto his black leather jacket; the dark eyes, framed by some of the most beautiful eyelashes you’ve ever seen. He blinks, a single droplet fluttering down onto his flushed cheek as he does. Then he drops his hand and straightens, wet hair clinging to his forehead — and he smiles. 
“You’re not Soonyoung.”
His words surprise you. The guy standing in front of you is definitely not who you had been expecting, either. He’s gorgeous, rain-soaked and all. You’re certain that you’ve never seen him around here before, because you would definitely remember if you had. 
“No, I’m not,” you affirm. You point over his shoulder to the door across the hall. “Soonyoung’s over there.” 
“Ah,” he says slowly, smile turning sheepish, tucking his hands into the pockets of his jacket. He winces as soon as his fingers slide into the wet material, as if suddenly remembering the predicament he’s in, and you stifle a laugh. “I’m Jeonghan,” he adds, and you can tell that he’s attempting to play it cool despite how obviously displeased he is with the current events.
Jeonghan. A pretty name for a pretty guy, you think. 
“Hi, Jeonghan.”
His smile grows, and yours does too. “I’m one of Soonyoung’s friends,” he explains. “He forgot to give me the code for the door downstairs, and he wasn’t answering his buzzer...” He glances down at himself, soaked to the bone, and the smile falls from his lips. You can’t help it — you let out the giggle you’ve been suppressing. His gaze finds yours again at the sound, eyebrows raising, and you bite your lip. 
“Sorry,” you offer, semi-apologetic, though you’re still biting back a grin. “That sucks.”
“Thanks so much,” he returns, and you can hear the sarcasm in his voice. You hold up your hands in surrender, and then he’s smiling at you again, and — holy shit, he’s pretty. 
Neither of you move, and it’s your turn to raise your eyebrows. Jeonghan seems to snap out of it, lifting a hand to run through his hair, and you’re almost embarrassed at the way you ogle him while he does. He doesn’t seem to notice, thank god. You’ve never met this man before, but something tells you he’d be awfully smug if he knew. You don’t look like that and not know it.
“I just moved into an apartment down the street,” he continues, “so I’ll be at Soonyoung’s more often.” He pauses, and then he smiles at you again — like he’s got a secret that you don’t get to know. “I’ll see you around?”
“Sure. See you later, Jeonghan.”
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You don’t think too much about Jeonghan over the next couple of days. Work is busier than usual, so you get home late every day, exhausted — and you spend far too much money on takeout food. But today is finally Friday, so you treat yourself to an XL pizza with zero regrets. You’ll start making your own meals again tomorrow. 
You’re lounging on your couch, only half paying attention to the series playing on your TV screen, when you hear a knock on your door that shakes you out of your exhausted daze. Your eyebrows furrow. Usually, you’d have to let the delivery person in with your buzzer, but you suppose someone might have let them in the building. 
You grab your wallet, flipping it open to take out your debit card. When you open your door, you freeze in your tracks, because it’s not the pizza delivery guy who stands on the other side. It’s Jeonghan. 
Your eyes take him in, head to toe, and you can’t even be ashamed about it. You don’t think you could look away if you tried. He looks different today — more put-together. A lot drier. Just as devastatingly beautiful, though. You’d nearly forgotten. 
“Hi,” he breathes. 
“Hi,” you echo. 
Then he does the thing that hooked you the first time you’d met — he smiles. He doesn’t say anything else until you raise your eyebrows, and he seems to realize that it’s his turn to speak again.
“What are you paying me for?”
You blink. Then you remember you’re clutching your bank card in your hand, and you let out an awkward laugh. “Thought you were the delivery guy.”
“Sorry to disappoint,” he teases. 
“I forgive you.”
Jeonghan’s smile widens, and you wait for him to continue. “I just wanted to say I’m really sorry about last week,” he says, and you watch as he bites his lip with a sheepish smile. “Not a great first impression.”
You hum. “True. You’re lucky I even opened the door that night, what with how crazy you sounded and all.” 
You’re teasing, but he’s unflinching as he holds your gaze and responds, “Yeah, I am lucky.”
You manage to keep your cool as you cross your arms, leaning against the doorframe, but you’d be lying if you said his blatant flirtation isn’t working on you. “Well, you’re extra lucky I opened the door again today.”
He breaks out into a grin. “Like I said… I know.”
You don’t even attempt to smile back — it just happens, involuntarily. God, he’s cute. 
You wait again for him to say something. He doesn’t. He just looks at you, and you start to feel a bit warm under his gaze. “Was there anything else?” You finally say. “I hope you didn’t forget where Soonyoung lives again.”
“Oh.” Jeonghan blinks, shaking his head. “No. I just… didn’t get your name last time.”
He seems to immediately regret how quickly he’s said the words, and you can’t believe how absolutely endeared you are by it all. Something tells you that the man in front of you is usually better at this. It makes you flush, makes you feel far too giddy, to realize that you seem to be the reason he’s flustered. 
“Y/N,” you offer, and Jeonghan’s smile returns. 
“Y/N,” he repeats. “Nice to meet you… Again.”
When he excuses himself towards Soonyoung’s and you close the door behind you, you don’t even try to tamper down the grin that’s on your face.
The next week, it takes everything in you not to think about Jeonghan.
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It’s Wednesday morning when you run into Soonyoung in the lobby by the post boxes. He looks like he’s just come from the gym, Nike bag slung over one shoulder as he flashes you a smile, lifting one hand in an excited wave. 
“Hey, Y/N!”
“Hey,” you greet. 
"How are you?"
His energy is contagious, and you can already feel your morning getting brighter just at the sight of him.
"I'm doing good, Soonyoung, thanks. How are you?"
"I'm great!" He turns to leave with another hearty wave, free hand now full of mail, and you wave back. You’re startled when you hear his footsteps come to an abrupt halt. He calls your name again, and you turn to him in surprise.
“Are you busy Friday night?” 
Your eyes widen. “Me?”
Soonyoung giggles, nose scrunching up as he does. “No, the mailbox.”
You blush. “Right. I don’t think so, why?”
“I’m having a little gathering with some of my friends,” he tells you. “If you’re home, I’d love for you to come!”
You’re caught off guard — and terribly, terribly pleased. You’ve always liked Soonyoung’s energy, and you’re honestly surprised you haven’t hung out with him before. Plus, your mind supplies unhelpfully, Jeonghan might be there.
“That sounds fun,” you say, brushing the thought aside, and Soonyoung beams.
“Cool! People are coming around 8:00.” He grins. “You know where to find me.”
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On Friday, you cross the hall to Soonyoung’s just after 8:30pm. You were hoping Jeonghan would be there by now – because you don’t know any of Soonyoung’s other friends, is what you tell yourself – but he isn’t. Soonyoung greets you with a hug and a beaming smile, and he quickly pulls you into his apartment and introduces you to his other friends.
It’s easy, you realize, to talk to them. You manage to entrench yourself deep into a conversation about the best ways to cook potatoes with his friend Mingyu, but your eyes still keep flickering to the front door against your will. It’s just after 9:00 when Jeonghan finally arrives.
You try to play it cool when your eyes meet, as if you haven’t been holding your breath waiting for him to arrive, your hand lifting to send him a small wave before you turn back to your conversation with Mingyu. You can feel Jeonghan’s eyes still on you, though, and it takes every effort you have in you to ignore the pull of his gaze.
You’re surprised when Soonyoung plops down next to you, leaning forward to slap Mingyu’s knee. The younger man lets out a whine, but Soonyoung simply grins. Mingyu doesn’t retaliate with anything more than a pout, even though he could easily win against Soonyoung in a fistfight. It makes you smile, how much they seem to genuinely like each other. 
“Y/N!” Soonyoung suddenly turns to you, and you startle.  
“Soonyoung!” You say back, and you hear Mingyu snicker from his spot across from you.
“You’re so cool,” Soonyoung gushes, and you can tell he’s a few drinks deep, but it makes you smile anyway. You’re about to thank him when he continues, “I’m so glad Jeonghan suggested inviting you. I don’t know why I never have before! You’re super cool.”
You ignore the way your face flushes, and Soonyoung is thankfully too excited to notice. 
“Thanks, Soonyoung. I’m glad to be here,” you say honestly, and you’re greeted with that blinding smile again in return. You’ve always thought that your neighbour was cute, and you’re quickly discovering that his personality absolutely matches your initial assessment.
As Soonyoung turns back to Mingyu and the two of them fall into an animated conversation, your eyes wander across the room, Soonyoung’s previous words replaying in your mind. 
Jeonghan suggested inviting you.
Your eyes quickly find the man in question. He’s leaning against the wall by the window now as he chats to his other friends. You watch him for a moment, a smile on your lips, and he must feel your gaze on him because he turns, soft brown eyes meeting yours. You don’t look away this time, arching an eyebrow at him, and he easily returns the gesture. It makes you smile even more.
You excuse yourself from Soonyoung and Mingyu, heading into the kitchen. You’ve just found where Soonyoung keeps his glasses and are filling one up with water from the tap when you hear someone enter the room behind you.
“Hey, 213.”
You try to be nonchalant when you turn, your eyebrows raised as you lift the glass to your lips. “I gave you my name… and for what?”
The smile on Jeonghan’s mouth grows. It really is quite something, the power that smile holds. “I’m so sorry,” he teases. “Hi, Y/N.” 
The sound of your name coming from his mouth sounds even better today. “Hi, Jeonghan.”
He leans against the counter, hands sliding into his pockets. “Did you have a good week?”
“I did,” you say honestly. “It was a lot less busy than last week — which was nuts. I had like eight projects due and…” You trail off, cheeks flushing as you realize you’d begun to ramble. So much for keeping your cool. What is it about this guy that lowers all your defenses? You’ve only met him twice before tonight.
You can’t help it, though. You want to know more — you want to know everything about him. And what’s even scarier is that you think you might want him to know everything about you, too.
“I’m glad,” is all he says, and you feel the sudden need to take another sip of water, averting your eyes. 
“What about you?” 
He hums. “Mine was good, too.” You can feel him looking at you, not saying anything until you meet his eyes again, and then he says, “It’s even better now.”
You don’t have a chance to answer before a commotion sounds through the apartment, and the both of you jump. You follow Jeonghan back out into the living room, where you find two new faces at the door. The man beside you amusedly informs you that the newcomers are Seokmin and Seungkwan, or in other words, the two that encourage — and even join in on — all of Soonyoung’s bad ideas. The commotion you’d heard had been the result of a tipsy Soonyoung seeing his partners in crime and loudly cheering.
The moment with Jeonghan is lost as the two of you rejoin the party, but it's all you think about for the rest of the evening. 
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As the night goes on, you find that you really like Soonyoung’s friends. But after just one glass of wine and the clock passing 11:00pm, you can feel your energy draining. You’re pretty sure Soonyoung himself is asleep in the armchair. You wait for Seungkwan to finish telling his story before you announce your plans to excuse yourself. The news is met with a chorus of awws and boos, but you know they’re only teasing. You can’t help but laugh at their antics, bidding your goodbyes as you stand and head for the door.
“I’ll walk you home.”
You turn as Jeonghan speaks from behind you, ready to tease him because really? but he’s prepared for it, already grinning blindingly over at you before you can make a retort. You wonder how old he was when he learned the power of disarmament that his smile holds. 
He opens the door and gestures for you to leave first, and you concede. You take the four steps out into the hall and across to your own apartment door, Jeonghan trailing behind you. As you pull out and insert your key, you glance at him and you say, “Thanks for asking Soonyoung to invite me.”
You see Jeonghan’s eyes flash in surprise, but he’s quick to mask it. “No problem,” he responds, a hand lifting to scratch the side of his jaw. He offers you a shy smile and you jokingly roll your eyes, but you’re smiling, too.
“Was it too hard to invite me yourself, or what?”
Jeonghan leans against the wall. If he’s phased by your bluntness, it doesn’t show. “I didn’t have any way to contact you.”
“‘Didn’t’, past tense?” Your door unlocks, and you gently push it open with one hand. “Why, do you have a way to contact me now?”
You’re teasing him, and you know he knows it. But all he does is smile, pushing off the wall as he fishes his phone out of his pocket and holds it out for you to take. 
“You tell me.”
You almost want to pretend to debate his proposal, but his eyes are so sincere as he waits that you just can’t tease him. You knew from the second he took out his phone that you were going to give him your number, so what’s the point in pretending? 
Wordlessly, you take his phone and enter your information, trying to ignore the way you can feel him watching you. You hand it back to him without a word, contact info saved, and offer him a soft ‘goodnight’ before you slip into your apartment.
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Unknown Number [11:21pm]: hi :)
Y/N [11:23pm]: who’s this? ;)
Jeonghan [11:24pm]: oh sorry, do i have the wrong number? 
Jeonghan [11:24pm]: I’ll go
You bite your lip, clutching a pillow to your chest as you debate your answer. You’re feeling so giddy, so shy — you even kick your feet a little. You think for a minute, debating whether or not to just go for it. You do.
Y/N [11:26pm]: please don’t
You expect him to tease you for giving in so easily. He doesn’t.
Jeonghan [11:27pm]: :)
Jeonghan (11:27pm]: hi, y/n
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To your pleasant surprise, you end up spending more and more time across the hallway at Soonyoung’s over the next few weeks. He texts you the morning after his party and apologizes for how drunk he had gotten, and an hour later, you show up at his door with cookies and two bottles of purple Gatorade. The rest is history. 
You really like Soonyoung. He’s hilarious, and kind, and a little bit out there in all the best of ways. He appreciates your cooking, and you appreciate his taste in takeout food. He tolerates your rom coms and you tolerate his poor taste in TV sitcoms. You’re grateful to have made a new friend, and you like spending time with him. 
It doesn’t hurt that Jeonghan stops by a couple of times, too. And every time, you willfully ignore the smug looks Soonyoung sends your way.
It’s been over a month since you met Jeonghan. You text almost every day, and you’ve seen him at Soonyoung’s almost every week since you met. He makes you laugh, he texts you good night, and you’ve caught him looking at you on more than one occasion. And yet — he hasn’t made a single move. 
You think that maybe you should be the one to do it, but you’re unsure. You know he’s flirting with you — you’re not stupid — and you know he’s not shy about any of it. He has to know you’re flirting with him, too, because you’ve never been more obvious about anything in your life, ever. You usually have no qualms about being the one to make a move first, but in these weeks getting to know Jeonghan, you’ve learned some things.
One: Jeonghan has your favourite smile in the world.
Two: He’s confident, and loves to tease.
Three: He’s actually a giant softie.
You see his softness in so many ways. You see it in the way he remembers everything about his friends, from allergies to favourite colours; in the way he brought salt when he came over last week because he remembered Soonyoung ran out; in the way he pretends to complain but then watches his friend’s antics with the fondest of smiles. 
And you wonder if maybe he’s as afraid of this new thing between you as you are.
So you’re giving him time. 
But on nights like tonight, when Soonyoung purposefully moves to the armchair when Jeonghan arrives so that he can join you on the couch, when Jeonghan’s knee is pressed to yours and his arm is on the back of the couch, when you catch him staring during the movie and he doesn’t look away — you think you might snap if he doesn’t do something soon.
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“I swear I’ve never seen Jeonghan this much in all the years I’ve known him,” Soonyoung comments out of the blue one Thursday evening.
It takes you a second to process what he’s said, your head lifting from your laptop to look at him. “Oh.” You blink. “Because he lives closer now, you mean?”
Soonyoung simply scoffs, and you distinctly feel like you’re missing something. He gives you a pointed look. “We used to be roommates in uni, and I didn’t even see him this much then.” You nod slowly, and Soonyoung rolls his eyes. He rolls his eyes. “He’s obviously around more lately because of you, Y/N.”
The flush spreads all the way from your head to your toes. The idea of it makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, and you hide your face behind your laptop again. “Shut up, Soonyoung.”
“Are you going to tell me you didn’t notice?”
You pause, staring at your screen but not really seeing it. “I did notice,” you finally say softly. “But…”
“But what? Don’t pretend you’re not just as down bad for him.”
You bite down on your lower lip, but you don’t deny it. “He hasn’t said anything, Soonyoung.”
Soonyoung doesn’t look at you as he casually says, “Yeah, well, that’s because Jeonghan’s a dumbass.”
You snort but don’t respond, and the conversation is left at that.
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Jeonghan [2:45pm]: what are you upto?
Y/N [2:48pm]: trying not to murder my new bookshelf before I even get it put up 
Y/N [2:48pm]: you?
Jeonghan [2:50pm]: haha oh no
Jeonghan [2:53pm]: i have to stop by Soonyoung’s on my way home 
Jeonghan [2:53pm]: do you want some help? 
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Jeonghan, it turns out, isn’t much help at all. 
“You’re worse than me!”
You can’t stop laughing as Jeonghan stands there helplessly, both of you watching the bookshelf crumble for the third time in an hour. As the last piece hits the floor, he turns to pout at you. 
“Let’s give up for now,” you offer, and you try to hold back your giggle at the indignant look on his face. You can’t.
Jeonghan groans as you dissolve into another fit of laughter. He collapses down onto the couch next to you, his head falling back. His hair has gotten a bit longer recently since he’s started letting it grow out, and your eyes can’t help but watch the way the dark strands fall over the back of your sofa. You suppress a shiver as you picture running your fingers through it, before shaking yourself out of it. 
“Why did you volunteer to help if you’re this bad at it?” You tease him one more time, and he opens one eye to glare at you.
“I didn’t think it could be that much harder than Lego.” His voice is small when he says it, obviously embarrassed, and you try — you really try — not to laugh at him. It’s futile. 
“Lego?” You repeat, and then you’re breaking into a fit of giggles again.
“Hey! I’ll have you know I have a sick Lego collection at my place.”
“I’ll believe it when I see it.”
“Inviting yourself over so soon?”
You ignore the flutter in your tummy and opt for rolling your eyes as a response. “You’re literally in my apartment right now, Jeonghan.”
He holds your gaze, the corner of his mouth lifting as he stares at you, and the butterflies take full flight, unable to stop that silly little feeling from settling deep in the pit of your stomach. “I am,” he hums. He breaks your gaze only to lift his head and glance around the living room, before his eyes settle on you again and he says, “I like it. It’s very… you.”
“Very me?” You question, amused, leaning your elbow on the back of the couch and resting your head on it. “How so?”
“You know,” Jeonghan gestures vaguely, “cozy, warm…” He smiles, and you’re so aware of just how close he is when he shifts to imitate your pose and finishes, “and, you know, beautiful.”
Your breath catches in spite of yourself. He flirts with you, you know this, but he’s never said anything outright like that before. His eyes begin to travel across your face, lazy and slow, the corner of his mouth lifting the longer he looks at you. His gaze lingers on your mouth, and yours lingers on his, and –
“Didn’t you say you have to stop at Soonyoung’s for something?” 
You have absolutely no clue why you decided to whisper that right now. Jeonghan pulls back a little, slow and blinking. You wince when he looks away from you.
“Oh,” he says, “yeah. Right.” He runs a hand through his hair. “I guess I should… go.” 
You try to meet his eyes, but in a moment of shyness that is so very un-Jeonghan, he refuses to look at you as he stands up. You want to beat yourself up for saying anything – you’d meant to tease him a little, not kick him out.
“Jeonghan,” you say, and he stops making his way to the front door. He still doesn’t look at you, though, and you force your next words to come out strong. “The next time you want to see me, you can just ask. You don’t have to use Soonyoung as an excuse.” 
He looks at you now, eyes lifting from the floor, and you’re so relieved that you let out a breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding.
“I don’t?”
“No,” you shake your head, “because I want to see you, too.”
“You… do?”
You’ve never seen him like this. He seems uncertain, unsure, and you feel horrible for trying to tease him when you’re certain he’d been about to make a move. “Yes.” You nod, taking a step towards him. “Jeonghan?”
“Yeah?” His gaze is unwavering on you now.
“I’m sorry.”
“For?” 
“I think you were going to kiss me just now, and I opened my big mouth instead of just letting you do it.” 
Jeonghan’s cheeks flush pink, and you can tell it’s taking everything in him not to turn away from you. He’s embarrassed, which you’ve never seen in the weeks that you’ve known him, and it suddenly dawns on you that he probably thinks you didn’t want to kiss him. Your heart drops into your toes.
“Please kiss me, Jeonghan.”
Desperation is all you can hear as you say the words, and it would be your turn to be embarrassed if you didn’t want it so badly. Want him so badly. His mouth opens and closes like a fish, his eyebrows furrowed as he tries to process. You’ve never seen him this speechless, either. It’s a day of firsts.
“Please.”
Your final word comes out in a plea, a near beg – another first. You don’t care. You can’t think about anything else. 
He closes the gap before you can so much as breathe another word, hands flying to your jaw as he presses his mouth to yours, fiercer than anything you could have ever dreamed of. Your hands grasp onto his hoodie as you gasp, stumbling a little, but he doesn’t let you get very far. And then you’re kissing him back, pulling him into you as close as he can go, closer, closer — and then even closer still. The way his mouth opens against yours, the way he moves as he kisses you stupid, has your knees nearly buckling underneath you.
It’s him that breaks away first. You’re breathless, and so is he, and neither of you says anything for a minute. 
“You wanted me to do that?”
You pull away to look up at him, his hands still on your face. “Only since the first day I met you, you dumbass.”
“You…”
“Yeah.”
His hands drop from your face before he pulls you with him to sit back on the couch. Your heart is racing as you wait for him to speak. 
“You like me?”
“With all due respect,” you say incredulously, “you’re literally so fucking stupid.”
Jeonghan pouts. “I thought…” He runs a hand through his hair, and you resist the urge to do it for him. “I thought you and Soonyoung…”
Your jaw drops. “Me and Soonyoung?!”
“You’re always together! And you always talk about how cute he is –”
“He is cute, Jeonghan. But I definitely haven’t been waiting for him to make out with me.”
Jeonghan groans, and he’s blushing again. “I’m sorry. I just… I didn’t know if Soonyoung was into you, or if you were into him, because you guys get along so well, and he makes you laugh so much, and…” He shrugs. “I didn’t want to interfere if there was something going on there.” 
“Jeonghan,” you say slowly. “Did you ever just… I don’t know, ask Soonyoung if he likes me?”
Jeonghan blinks for a moment. 
“Also – do you not think you and I get along well?” You’re teasing him now, and you watch as the realization dawns on him. 
“I’m sorry,” he repeats, and you’re amazed yet again at the way you somehow manage to render him as bashful as this. 
You reach for his hand, tugging him closer, and he comes willingly. You lift a hand to tuck a strand of hair behind his ear as you say, “You can make it up to me somehow, I’m sure.”
You’re pleased when he seems to take that as a challenge.
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A/N: Finally a Hannie one! Thanks for waiting xx
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hansoeii · 8 months
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genuinely how is lokius queerbaiting?
Basically, season one was already queerbaiting but not because of Lokius. They teased the whole Loki coming out thing as something so grand when it was just a quick "a bit of both" that you could've easily missed if you looked away for a second and then never mentioned it again. Also, don't get me started on the way they "dealt with" Loki's genderfluidity because that was just horrendous.
But getting to the Lokius bit: In season one, they establish that Loki is, in fact, queer in the MCU as well and can fall for a male character. Now, the ship between him and Mobius becomes incredibly popular in the fandom since their storyline and chemistry are just beautiful. Lots of fanart and fanfictions come out of it that the creators are aware of. Even a song on the soundtrack is called "Lokius".
So now, if they didn't plan on making Loki and Mobius a real thing, why was episode one of season two the way it is? The way those two acted around each other was far from platonic. They could've easily had them act like good ol' buddies, but instead we get Mobius holding Loki every second he can, Mobius being ready to sacrifice himself for Loki, Loki then almost confessing, plus even the trope where they accidentally fall on top of each other and linger there for a second longer than necessary and that wasn't even everything. And during every single one of those scenes, they played the "Lokius" theme from the soundtrack. A ton of people who weren't convinced of this ship after season one now went "okay wait, you were right all along". Those are blatant romantic tropes. There's nothing platonic about it, and no one can convince me otherwise.
The creators know that people want to see Lokius, so why give us these scenes and ultimately give us hope? There's two options: they're actually going for it or they know that this is what we watch it for and will ultimately go "lmao obviously they're just best buddies you're delusional if you thought otherwise".
So yeah, that's my stand on this whole thing. I've been through the queerbaiting trenches and I'm worried that this show will be added to the list.
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