#time will keep drinking

[legendofzoodles]

Warriors: Old man we've held an intervention and we all agree that you need to cut back on the milk.

Time: [nodding solemnly] That is fair, I've never much been a man to drink. Don't know how it happened really.

Time: I start today.

[cue an explosion a couple hundred metres away, throwing up debris, monsters, the chain's disaster duo and one unfortunate white cloaked casualty hero]

Warriors: Hylia help us, isn't that the monster camp we were going to dispatch after lunch?

Time: [uncorking a bottle of milk] I start tomorrow.

-

Masterlist

[bacchuschucklefuck]

january month of yuugi

[ikiprian]

Ghost Kitchen (brought to you by criminal entrepreneur, Red Hood)

Danny��s got the easiest job in Gotham.

He works as a fry cook at a shoddily-run, independent burger joint. Hardly anyone comes in, despite prices being criminally low, and portions insanely large, and while the manager looks like the average tough-as-nails ex-con, he lets Danny mess around in the kitchen whenever the place is empty. (Which is often. This place has to be the city’s hidden gem or something!)

Mr. Manager’s the only one ever there with Danny, except for sometimes when his buddies come over to smoke and play cards. Danny would find it shady, except part of his job is not to ask questions. Literally, he was told during the interview.

(It was a weird interview. Why would they need to hire someone who’s been in a gunfight before? Like, he has, but Gotham’s idea of “hirable qualities” is so bizarre.)

So instead he whips up some killer burgers with the frozen ingredients, and basks in the praise as the guys tell him he shouldn’t have, he does too much for this joint, ain’t that friendly!

Now, Danny’s a chef on the newer side. As a teen he’d preferred the look of Nasty Burger over anything with Michelin stars, and he only really took up cooking after Jazz moved out for college. But just like ecto-exposure used to turn the groceries sentient, Danny’s low-level ecto signature imbues all his food with something historically haunted Gothamites just love! And Danny’s never been one to half-ass a job when it makes people happy.

With fresher produce, real meat, Danny’s sure he can take his dishes to the next level. It takes a couple months of badgering, but his manager finally agrees to contact the mysterious store owner, who keeps the place going, despite profits Danny knows have to be in the red.

Danny spends the morning prepping. He pours his heart into his food, eager to impress. The big boss will be here soon, and he wants to prove that despite the dangerous location, this place has real potential!

It isn’t until the Red Hood shows up that Danny realizes he’s been working for a money laundering scheme.

[rueclfer]

bitch cup mentality // tomura shigaraki

when all you needed was a night with him and a cup of mixed liquor to make some moves

a/n: the fratboy agenda never stops

-

mha tag: @lotuslovers @babylambdietcoke @0skullyard0 @kaldurahms-lover @commonmisery @moonstonejpg @twoplayergaymers @simp-plague @xvilluis @haruhi269 @starliightfiend @k0z3me

[moonsun2010]

5 June - The Dracula Drought begins

a redraw of this art from DD2023!

[naturecalls111]

don't interrupt the kage meeting

[benevolenterrancy]

who would win in an alcohol drinking competition? MaoMao, Wei Wuxian or Shi Qingxuan

Since WWX and SQX have special abilities (golden core,god hood, demonic cultivation,) they're all in their weakest state (wwx post golden core transfer and post-canon SQX)

This is also so Jinshi, He Xuans and Lan Wangjis pockets don't run empty from supplying the alcohol.

Hmm, I think it would go Maomao > Wei Wuxian > Shi Qingxuan u.u

(my argument being that SQX's entire bit in the Four Great Tales is that he was frequently drunk as a Middle Court Official. He has a decent tolerance but in this contest he gets drunk under the table first and is honestly having a great time with it. Wei Wuxian has an excellent tolerance, but Maomao considers it professional pride to be immune to poisons so she wins! Nothing stands in her way re: poisons!)

As for paying, I actually think Jinshi and Lan Wangji would be like... weirdly intense about being the one to pay. He Xuan does not suffer from that same affliction

[independent-fics]

Rewatching “The 12-Step Job” and actually processing that Hardison and Eliot in the end are arguing who has to sit in the middle/next to happy pills Parker.

[raepliica]

one of these nights

[marlynnofmany]

If you're beating yourself up about not being as productive as you used to be, it might help to know that burnout is brain damage that needs to heal.

This isn't a moral failing on your part. This is an injury, caused by prolonged stress.

Or course you can't run as fast on a fractured ankle. Take a rest; rent a scooter if you have to. But don't hurt yourself worse.

[caycanteven]

Captain Nightmare doodle before bed cause I'm manifesting his return in my dream

[xxplastic-cubexx]

[wip] i can draw whatever i want forever

[sengenism]

wait wait wait so i just remembered we have information on senku, gen and ukyo's favourite foods

and we also have their reactions to eating/drinking them for the first time in the stone world... this is so important to me u don't understand

[s0fter-sin]

vampire au where they can only drink the blood type they were before they were turned. other blood has an almost poisonous effect, burning them from within like acid and drinking too much of it can kill them

in the old days, before the knowledge of blood types, it made humans they could feed on absolutely precious. they're kept safe, pampered and doted on; a vampire’s most prized possession

attacking another vampire's human is seen as the highest insult; not only is it a slight against them, it also carries the implication of "i want you to starve"

it's also used as the cruelest of punishments; starving a vampire for months, until they're feral with hunger just for their torturer to throw in a random human, watching them desperately suck down poison, their instincts begging them to keep drinking even as it kills them

ghost is one of the few who survived it; thrown in a pit so deep, he saw stars in the middle of the day, left with nothing but the dried bodies of the humans roba drained without care, others with their throats slit, blood he can't drink spilled out around them

a taunt of the one thing he needs but will never get

but ghost hasn't survived this long just to give up here

he refuses to die in this stinking, rotted pit

ghost is a force of nature as he descends over roba's manor; killing any who wander into his path until the halls run red. until he gets his hands on roba and tells him a secret:

vampires can feed on the blood of any vampire, regardless of blood type

it becomes a legend in vampire high society; if you starve another, you'd best make sure they actually die

otherwise you might end up piled in a dining room, the vampire you left for dead lounging on a throne of corpses with his fangs lodged in your throat

ghost decimates roba's empire, burning it to the ground until no one dares to speak his name in fear of incurring his wrath. it's incredibly taboo for a vampire to feed off another but ghost's too powerful for anyone to challenge him and the other vampires are too scared to try. scared of what he's willing to do, the lengths he'll go to; not that they'll ever admit it

soap is the first human he ever brings to court; delicately bathed in the finest silks and jewels, his throat always bare so he can show off ghost's ownership, his bite framed in lace

he's not like the delicate waifs the other vampires show off; he doesn't cling to his master, demure and submissive. he shows off his teeth as often as any vampire, fully willing to rip out the throats of any who insult him or ghost

a feral master needs a just as feral pet

[draco-glacialis]

Rio: We can bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.

Lilia: No, that's not how you make cookies.

Alice, drunk: FLOOR IT!!

Rio: How about 4,000,000 degrees for 1 second?!?

Lilia: yOU'RE GONNA BURN THE HOUSE DOWN-

Rio: I'M GONNA HARNESS THE POWER OF THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES!

Agatha, also drunk: DO IT!

Lilia: NO-

[welcome-to-the-end-of-eras]

I know we make jokes about Jeremy and his caffeine intake, but it’s very common for recovering addicts to use stimulants like caffeine to help curb their cravings and I think we should talk about it