#to me he finds a person attractive rather than a specific sex or gender

[missingexaltation]

This got way longer than I thought it would. Basically, a 'Wayne centered' steddie mini fic.

I love the dynamics that we could have had with this mini family, so this kind of threw itself together.

Wayne's seen Eddie with the girls he brings back home. Well, he sees the backs of their heads as Eddie walks them out early in the morning, past a Wayne who's thoroughly exhausted from the night shift.

Eddie always knows he's there, always offering a shrug and apologetic grin before practically skipping back to his room. Rarely the same girl twice, that Wayne could tell, but (more often than he'd thought possible, and doesn't he feel like an ass for assuming) dressed in that white and green cheerleader outfit.

Not that Wayne judged. He and his brother, Eddie's dad, had both been the same back in the day. The popular girls seemed to love a boy from the wrong side of town, and (unlike his old man) Eddie was a good guy under it all, so Wayne knew he was treating them girls right. If only for the night at least.

The surprise was that it was girls he was bringing home.

His friend Danny, who'd given Eddie the part time job at Thatcher's, had called it years ago. Said that Eddie reminded him of his brother, and that Wayne had better get prepared for the boy's teen years because it was gonna be rough. Sure enough, the moment Eddie turned thirteen Wayne had come home to find him packed up and ready to be thrown out.

God bless Danny Harris and his foresight, because Wayne had had a nice little speech prepared for a year or more, ready and waiting. And Eddie had soaked it in, those big ol' brown eyes grateful, relieved and full of tears as he unpacked again.

So sure, the girls were a surprise, but he let it go. Assumed the kid was happy with both, or either, and if he wanted to talk about it then he knew damn well that Wayne would listen. He'd done the difficult part already, the rest just details and semantics, and Wayne certainly wasn't going prying into his nephew's love life. It was safer anyway, for him to stick with girls for now. Or however long.

It wasn't until after the most horrific week of Wayne's life where he noticed things had changed. Eddie was home, a free man, an innocent man, and for his troubles had been relocated (with his uncle) out of the trailer park and into a nice, quiet and expensive part of Hawkins. Courtesy of some official-looking government suits.

They'd taken Wayne aside, given him some bizarre, bullshit story, and it wasn't until a few days later that he'd noticed his bank account was overflowing with compensation money. After the week he'd had, Wayne knew enough to keep his mouth shut, and life had seemingly carried on as normal. Neither he or Eddie had to work again, if they didn't want to.

Seeing Richard Harrington's boy in their new kitchen was more than a surprise. To his credit, the boy was cooking some breakfast thing or another, and trying to encourage Eddie to get his ass in gear for school. He didn't notice Wayne either, but Eddie sure did.

He remembered Danny's advice. 'Don't treat the boys any different to the girls, Wayne. Eddie'll pick up on that.' So he just waved a good morning and went to bed.

A few days later the Harrington boy was back again, herding Eddie out of the door as Wayne was coming in it. Noting the time, a gentle 'don't be late, boy' as the door swung shut, and that was it until the evening and Eddie was traipsing in from school. His mama's big brown eyes eyes looking at Wayne like a wild animal trapped in a corner.

Eddie had said nothing, hiding his face with his hair, looking for the world like he wanted to say something, until he yammered out some excuse and fled to his room to hide.

'That Harrington boy seems nice. Polite.' Wayne offered later, over dinner. Conversationally. Lightly. Apparently enough to cause a reaction, and as he'd never seen Eddie so red-in-the-face embarrassed he decided to drop it. Just a shrug and a nod in response.

He didn't see the Harrington boy for a long time after that. But he kept an eye out. The changes in Eddie were remarkable. Contrary to popular belief, he was a pretty quiet kid at home (guitar aside), but now he was reflective. Moon-eyed and lost in his own head. Practically floating from room to room and always with that damn smile on his face.

He realised that he'd not seen (or smelt) any of Eddie's drugs since they'd moved into the new house. A call with one of Rick's buddies confirmed that Eddie was out of the drugs game (finally, thank Christ), so he could only assume that this dopey, lovelorn version of his nephew was a consequence of something else.

Or someone.

It occurred to him that in all the time he'd known Eddie, having raised him and loved him and taught him as much as he was capable, that he had never seen his boy in love before. And now, noticing Eddie swapping out his electric guitar for his acoustic, seeing the sunshine glimmering under Eddie's skin and beaming from his smile, it was overwhelming. Adorable.

A couple of months ago he'd thought his boy was dead, or hurt, and it had damn near devastated him. And now here Eddie was, alive and very much flourishing. Learning some song (by ear) that he wouldn't have been caught dead listening to a few months ago. Having giggly, hushed phonecalls on their new landline when he thought Wayne was out of earshot. Constantly smiling, an actual genuine, happy smile instead of his usual theatrical, false grin that he used to throw Wayne off the scent.

He'd confessed all of this to Danny, one night when Eddie was 'out with friends for the night'. Despite everything he'd hoped, he'd never thought Eddie had had much of a chance. The world was too grim and constricting, especially Hawkins. He'd done the best he could, loved that boy with all he had, and prayed it would be enough to give Eddie the best start he could offer.

He'd heard the things the other kids called him, he'd witnessed Eddie trying to get stains out of his clothes, or sewing up holes caused by being shoved to the ground. He'd held Eddie close in his arms and let him sob it out after a really tough day. He'd patched Eddie up when things got really bad, and had quiet words with his teachers. By and large, it all washed off, and come morning he was always ready to face the world again.

So yes. He'd told Danny everything and he'd cried. Real happy tears, though, and Danny was real fucking nice about it instead of making fun of him. They'd been friends since school, after all. Hell Danny had known Eddie most of his life too. Like the uncle Wayne should have been, in a life where Eddie's parents had been capable of raising him themselves. They'd celebrated with a six pack and toasted to what was hopefully Eddie's big turning point.

It took Eddie a few weeks longer, but he eventually brought it up himself. Kid was nervous, obviously so, but nothing out of the norm. (last time he'd been so nervous, he'd been summoning the courage to tell Wayne he was repeating his repeat year).

'So me and Steve are like a thing.' He said, just blurting it out like he'd been overthinking it. Wayne had paused, finished his bite of casserole, to give him a moment to think. 'He treat you good?' He asked.

If he'd not seen the way Eddie headbanged to his music, he'd have been concerned with how eagerly Eddie nodded his head, almost giving himself whiplash. As if his enthusiasm was the factor that was going to convince Wayne of his veracity.

'Well. Tell your boy he's welcome here anytime. I need to see what his intentions with my boy are, after all.'

Eddie had made a face, like he was disgusted, but also gleefully pleased. Like Wayne had passed whatever test he'd been set.

'I'm gonna marry him one day.' He'd declared, sighing dreamily. 'He's so fucking perfect, you know?'

'Language.' Wayne admonished, and chuckled to himself. 'And no, I don't know. On account of you hiding him away every time I'm home. Bring the boy around, let me get to know him.'

And so he did.

And, a few years later, he followed through on his declaration and married the Harrington boy.

[joonliebe]

This is going to be a little rant about something I have personally noticed in my own community and I think it should be talked about

If a gay man doesn’t want to date a trans man and a lesbian woman doesn’t want to date a trans woman then that doesn’t necessarily mean they are transphobic!

Now let me go into further detail about my statement.

It’s not wrong to have a preference in body types when pursuing a relationship. Just because a gay man won’t date a trans man doesn’t mean he doesn’t see you as a man (same goes for lesbians with trans women)

I’m not sure how bottom surgery works exactly so I can’t speak on that part but if a lesbian is lesbian because of the fact that she just doesn’t like having sexual relationships with those with the opposite genitalia then she shouldn’t be shamed for not wanting to be in a relationship with a trans woman.

Unless the individual specifically states that the reason why they don’t want to date transgender people is because they don’t see them as real men/women then they are not transphobic

And this goes for straight people too. Unless a straight person specifically says that they won’t date a trans person because they’re not real men/women then they shouldn’t be labeled as transphobic.

This happens a lot more than people think and it goes farther than just straight people. It goes into our community as well and it breaks the one thing that we as a lgbtq+ community stands for and that is to be accepted no matter our preference.

As a gay trans ftm individual myself I know it can be disappointing to find out that another gay man would want to date me because I don’t physically have the same genitalia as my gender however in the long run I will survive and find another. I rather a man to be open and tell me that he doesn’t like the opposite genitalia so that he doesn’t feel pressured into a relationship where he would be uncomfortable when having sexual intercourse and or not want to have sexual intercourse.

That brings me down to my last point

As a transgender individual you should make it clear to the person that you want to be in a relationship with (if gay, straight, or lesbian) ahead of time so you don’t end up in the wrong situation.

Unfortunately not all people would handle finding out their partners are the opposite biological sex of their attraction and may act aggressively (this would be obvious transphobia).

On a non violent note if that person turns out to not want to be in a relationship with you because your genitalia is not something that they seek in a relationship however they do still see you as a man/woman then don’t take it personally because you can always still be friends with them even if it’s awkward for a little bit the awkwardness is only temporary and will only last the longer you stay on the thought that the person doesn’t seek a relationship with you because your genitalia. Instead think of the fact that despite you not having your gender anatomy you are still a man/woman

If you have any questions or are unsure what I mean by something please ask me. Do not assume something if I haven’t specifically stated it because that is disrespectful to me and uncalled for.

[rainesol]

TWST Main Cast Pride Headcanons!!!

Compiling all of my personal twst gender/sexuality headcanons into one post 💪

Disclaimer: I won’t bother with a DNI, however I won’t indulge any discourse or homo/trans/aphobia on this post. You will be blocked and promptly clowned on in the group chat. o7

Heartslabyul

Riddle Rosehearts:

Riddle is an interesting character to me. I don’t think he’s the type to put a label onto his sexuality, but I headcanon bi with a female preference. Gender identity wise, I think within the current storyline he is satisfied with he/him pronouns. Best way to put it into words is that I think he’s nonbinary and uses he/him, but doesn’t have a label for that either. After finding out the custom, he always introduces himself and gives his pronouns.

I choose to interpret his line about enjoying the way his heels click as gender euphoria that just went unrecognised. At the time that I’m writing this, the Lost In The Book event isn’t out on en, but through this translation, you can see that any problems he had with the outfit came from the amount of skin shown rather than the actual presentation. I wholeheartedly believe that if he had been magical-girled into a sundress he’d have been totally cool with it.

As an extra note, I’ve seen a couple of transfem Riddle headcanons that I love. I’d love to see more fics with that concept in the fandom. Or I could do it myself lol.

Ace Trappola:

We know that Ace has canonically had a girlfriend in the past, and found her boring. Not nice. He also says that he decided that dating was a pain and he prefers just hanging out with his friends. I get it. I’m aroace and I’ve confessed that I’m biased and projecting 😔 But like. Come on. I’m choosing to interpret him as aromantic/arospec. Let me cling on to the representation that I made up in my head. I don’t have any specific gender headcanons on this guy. I just view him as cis. He/him.

Deuce Spade:

Deuce is another guy I don’t have much for </3 I usually view him as a gay man in my head? He/him pronouns, cisgender. I think he’s surprisingly more open to gender non-conformity than people expect of him, though. (For instance, the ballet lessons.)

Cater Diamond:

It’s canon in the jp server that Cater has interest in dating both men and women. I’m with everyone else in viewing him as canon bisexual. I headcanon him as having a male preference, but sometimes that changes.

It’s obvious what I’ll say about his gender, but for sure under the nonbinary umbrella. We all saw the guitar strap. Maybe demiboy? He/they. Cater is very online, and considering that the nonbinary flag is ten years old, he or his elder sisters might remember its creation.

Anyways, here’s the nonbinary flag colour picked from his club groovy, and the bisexual flag picked from his Halloween groovy! :D

Trey Clover:

Trey is typically a cis dude in my head. (He/him) He's the supportive older brother type, so I imagine that he keeps the Heartslabyul public bathrooms stocked on pads. I don't know how helpful he would be with advice, but he'll hear you out or refer you to the guidance councillor if that's what you want o7 I don't think the NRC guidance councillors are much help though. Maybe just speak to your homeroom teacher.

I hc that Trey likes men and women with no preference, but just isn't very vocal about it. It'll come up in casual conversation, but I don't think he'd see the point in telling someone unless it was relevant. You'd be having a casual convo with him in the common room, and he might make a reference to a guy he had a crush on in secondary school. Cue SnapCube 'Woah, he's bisexual, I didn't know that!'

Savanaclaw

Leona Kingscholar:

I've seen so many 'token cishet' Leona headcanons that I cant help but to absorb it a little. I do have another headcanon that he experiences some same-sex attraction, but he's got such high standards that he rarely notices any attraction at all. He/him. Maybe poly cause lions?

Jack Howl:

MLM demisexual/romantic truther. (He/him or he/they) I don't have many headcanons for the Savanaclaw trio <//3 if you see/make any please feel free to tag me!! I love reading I love information I love headcanons‼️

Ruggie Bucchi:

Either transmasc or the personification of the 'I'm probably nonbinary but I have a job so idrc about that rn'. I usually picture him with He/him or he/they. Perhaps a rare they/them if you so desire.

Pansexual, his only preference is hard workers on their grind 💪 Between you both you could create an empire of part-time jobs. I've also seen one or two poly headcanons with him that I enjoy. Dividing the bills between the whole polycule lads come on. We're eating good this week.

Octavinelle

Azul Ashengrotto:

I cannot lie, I don't have anything on this guy. There's nothing to be said yk. Like, he's just there in my head and there's not much else I can add. I tend to agree with the MLM headcanons. I also picture him as demisexual/romantic sometimes. Not always. He's the best in the school at remembering pronouns. He updates his secret file on you right away.

Gender wise, I always just enjoy whatever the fanartist/fic writer shows me. I default to he/him. Ursula was based on a drag queen! I think that there should be post-canon/book 3 Azul drag personas. Now I'm picturing a drag design. She/her/he/him for that.

Floyd Leech:

Asexual and panromantic. I think Floyd uses any pronouns, depending on his mood. I headcanon genderfluid, but he typically keeps near the masc end of the spectrum. Not always. The basketball club made colour-coordinated bracelets so that they can easily tell whenever Floyd's preferences have changed. Blue for he/him, pink for she/her, yellow for they/them. Open for combinations of those three, and no bracelets for when he has no preference :D

Jade Leech:

Asexual and gay. I headcanon that he always introduces himself with he/him pronouns, but at the same time I picture him being cool with any pronouns. In classic Jade fashion, he will be generally unnerving about your choice. Like 'Oh? Is that your choice? ...Fascinating :)'

Scarabia

Kalim Al-Asim:

I don't have many headcanons on him specifically, but he'll totally pay for your HRT. Like Trey, he and Jamil keep Scarabia stocked with menstrual products. Kalim has a LOT of siblings, so he's seen a lot of different kinds of people :D He's got a ton of older brother advice. I see him with he/him pronouns, and MLM.

Kalim is a very supportive friend. Always excited to learn new things about his you. Also, those parades he throws? I bet he's (Jamil's) organised an NRC pride event. If I had the skills and patience, I'd draw that idea. If anybody does, tag me o7 I wanna see.

Jamil Viper:

Jamil is a very well prepared man. As I mentioned above, he's the one that puts Kalim's plans into action. He keeps Scarabia stocked on everything, he's technically still an older brother, but I don't see him as having that dynamic with anyone other than his sister. He's still a supportive friend, though :D

I headcanon Jamil as bi, usually with he/him pronouns.

I once had a transfem au Jamil idea way back when I was 17, but I haven't given it much thought since. Maybe I'll bring the au back someday?

Pomefiore

Vil Schoenheit:

Vil has A LOT of headcanons, theories and interpretations in the fandom. Vil is canonically a very gender nonconforming character, using typically gender neutral pronouns, being comfortable in his gender identity and presentation, and is very open to wider interpretations of gender outside of what is stereotypically considered 'masculine' or 'feminine'.

Surprisingly, I've got no proper headcanons on a set gender identity for him. There's already so much canon info within the series, that I just haven't given it much thought. I think he defaults to he/him pronouns, but is perfectly comfortable with anything. Keeps Pomefiore stocked and educated, and he's very well taught in makeup that can make you appear feminine OR masculine.

Similarly, I don't really have any label-specific headcanons for his sexuality. I normally interpret him as MLM. Vil is one of the characters that I'm always interested to see discussions about. His views on gender identity are pretty refreshing to see in modern media.

Epel Felmier:

Epel my friend! Another character that I like reading interpretations of. Again, I always give him he/him pronouns. He also had a lot of canon information on his views of gender norms. His character arc is honestly one of my favourites.

I typically picture that he’s attracted to multiple genders. I’ve seen a lot of interpretations where he mistakes his attraction for jealousy. A lot of “do I want to date him or be him?”

Another au/headcanon I’ve seen a lot of is transmasc Epel. I know a lot of transmasc people see themselves in him. That’s awesome.

Rook Hunt:

This guy! I see him as pansexual but also on the aromantic spectrum. Hear me out. In his suitor suit he has one (1) singular line about not being ready for marriage yet. Like obviously, he’s eighteen, but it just made the projecting side of my brain whir. I now see him as the type to like the idea of romance, just not for himself. Doesn’t mean that I don’t like seeing art/ships that go against this, but that is a hc I hold dear now.

He/him pronouns, but this guy loves to discuss peoples gender identity and interpretations of gender. Sit down with him and a cup of tea, and he’ll listen and talk for hours about how you both feel. Be warned that he may take notes. Mirror pronouns Rook? Oh wait. I like that. Mirror. Like Snow White.

Ignihyde

Idia Shroud:

I typically see Idia as aroace with either little or no attraction. I like the headcanon that he doesn’t date at all, but I’ve also seen enough Silver x Idia to have another set of headcanons. I like both :D I’ve never seen him as not aroace though.

I do kind of wish I had his Suitor Suit sometimes. Every other line is something I’ve definitely said before. Like, the only time he shows any interest in dating is through video games and manga with characters that aren’t him. That’s so me irl you guys don’t understand. I would die happy if twst had canon aro/ace rep.

I think Idia’s the type to only use different pronouns online. Maybe with Ortho, too. He/they online and with close family. Everyone else knows him as he/him. I said that Cater might remember the nonbinary flag’s creation. Idia does. He was on twst tumblr to witness the creation of many flags.

Here's the aroace flag picked from the Suitor Suit card! :D Very pretty.

Ortho Shroud:

Ortho is downright fascinating to pick apart. Pre book 6, I doubt Idia programmed a sexuality into him. Like it would even be possible. Then post book 6, after he gains a soul/sentience, I think he and Idia would have had a talk about him now having the choice to one day explore his gender identity and orientation (if he so desires). I think Ortho wouldn’t have any interest in dating, though.

Confessional time. Before wiring this I had the random thought of “In second year Ortho downloads she/they.zip and gets a new body made”. I never meant to pay much kind to it but now I can’t let it go. Like I’ve been accidentally referring to Ortho as she in front of friends. I have a future design in mind. I have additional headcanons about this design. It’s completely taken over. If I ever post that redesign is beyond me but it’s there in my head and it won’t leave. Fem!Ortho future au. Idk if anyone would hear me out there.

Diasomnia

Malleus Draconia:

Another character I enjoy multiple interpretations of. One interpretation I have of him is cupiosexual/romantic. The other is demisexual/panromantic. Either way, the concept of a qpr would make him so excited that it doesn’t rain for days on Sage’s Island. The grass withered.

Malleus is old. Not mentally, but chronologically. He’s seen language change a couple of times, and he grew up with people even older than him. He was born in the mid 1800s equivalent. Thon is one letter off of thorn. See where I’m headed? The use of thon/thons was first recorded in the 1850’s. Gender neutrality is not a new concept to him.

If you asked for his pronouns, I feel like he wouldn’t immediately understand. Like, he calls himself I. Me. Sometimes if he’s with someone we. Did you want all of those too? Oh, just the ones you call him./j

Anyways twisted wokeland au where Malleus allows Yuu to make up a name and set of pronouns for him because he refused to introduce himself/j

Silver:

Another guy I never considered. Mayybe also on the aroace spectrum? I think he’d be happy in a qpr. I think he’s not the type to question it. He just goes with whatever he feels. I’ve not got much lol.

Sebek Zigvolt:

Demisexual/romantic and he/him pronouns. Again, I’ve not thought much on him. I think it takes him a long, long journey of self-discovery though.

Lilia Vanrouge:

Again, Lilia was born a LONG time ago. He was born in the early to mid 1300s equivalent. He’s seen so much change since then, and he’s been through a lot of character arcs. I think I’m justified in headcanoning him as an unlabelled king. If he likes a girl, awesome. He likes a guy? Cool. I think it’s common to hear him refer to himself in a dead language. Baby girl, he has heard pronouns you could not comprehend.

If you ask his gender or sexuality, you’ll get some vague dad gestures, and a ‘you know what I mean’ nod. You don’t. You won’t.

Book 7 spoilers, but I hope that they keep the mlm implications in for the en translations. They’ll probably pull a Cater and write out the canon bi implications though. Heartbroken.

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Thank you for reading to the end of my ramblings o7 If anyone else makes pride themed posts please feel free to tag me!! I would love to see them!

I really like the subtle ways these things are portrayed in the story. Especially within the world building. We know that is generally societally acceptable for men to wear makeup and dresses in TWST, and there’s canon development of language changing over time in a gender neutral way! (Witches and wizards -> mages. Suck on that, Rowling.)

⋆｡𖦹°‧★

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@tixdixl @cyanide-latte @the-trinket-witch @thehollowwriter @elenauaurs

@emiensr

[burningvelvet]

this is a long analysis on titanic (1997), re: my last reblog on titanic’s depiction of rose coming into her own sexuality, being sexually dominant, & actively pursuing jack romantically, + LGBT themes, feminism, & the cal/jack/rose triangle as a freudian representation.

—this is one of the great and unique things about this film and also i’d like to point out that although we see jack liking rose first, rose is the one who actively pursues him every step of the way which is almost never seen in films. the roles are almost always reversed. she’s the one who lies to protect him, she’s the one goes to see jack again on the deck under the guise of thanking him, she’s the one who snatches his art book and asks about the nudes, she’s the one who asks to be drawn and specifically drawn nude, she saves him with an axe, she’s the one who initiates sex, etc.

i despise it when people talk about titanic like it’s the most boring cishet movie of all time when it’s one of THEE most progressive/subversive imo (in terms of popular mass media). jack is one of the only major male romantic figures i’ve ever come across who never says anything sexist even in jest, who never dominates their scenes together whether emotionally/romantically/sexually, and who genuinely helps the female protagonist become a better person rather than vice versa. i can’t even think of comparable male characters, so yes in a way he is the perfect example of a manic pixie dream boy. i would go as far as to call their dynamic a subtle gender role reversal and i don’t know why this isn’t talked about more.

there’s also been a lot of queer interpretations and analysis on titanic which i think is apropos. jack and rose have been seen by some as being butch-coded/lesbian-coded ever since the movie came out, and you can also make a case for rose representing (metaphorically or literally) the experiences of gender-envy or being GNC, especially in the scene where jack nonjudgementally teaches rose to “ride like a man, and spit like a man” — and she says “why can’t i be like you, jack?” — etc. — jack actively encourages her to go against the gender norms and i don’t think it’d be a reach to say that he would be supportive if she was LGBTQ+ and vice versa & that they’re both clearly allies regardless of interpretation. Take for example Rose’s line to Kack: “I know what you must be thinking— poor little rich girl, what does she know about misery?” & Jack’s response: “No, no, that’s not what I was thinking. What I was thinking was, what could’ve happened to this girl to make her feel she had no way out?” — As Rose says, Jack “sees” people, and validates/recognizes them in a way that is similar to the queer theories on queer kinship, allyship, & solidarity. Rose and Jack find each other and feel kinship for each other through their mutual progressive/bohemian values in a way that is commonly experienced by LGBT people finding other LGBT people, which is heightened by Rose/Jack’s mutual attraction & their blooming relationship being socially frowned upon (due to classism + Rose’s engagement).

I also think it’s important to point out that sexuality is a core theme of the movie in general, & this is esp important considering it takes place in 1912. From Rose’s Piccaso painting of the prostitutes, to Rose’s comment at the table about Freud re: male overcompensation, to Cal slut-shaming Rose, to the nude French prostitutes, to Rose saying she’d rather be Jack’s whore than Cal’s wife. The theme of being a “ruined woman” is rampant. Many of Cal/Rose’s scenes are laced with subtle sexual implications with him wanting Rose to be sexually submissive/passive/exclusive/available (“do not deny me”) and her clearly not being interested in that role (Cal asks her why she didn’t come to his rooms late at night when he asked her to, and he’s always the one initiating contact, & she clearly hates him). It is also very clear that Rose sees her wifely duties as performative, and to some extent her gender itself is performative (see: the scene where she watches in anxious disgust as she sees a little girl being taught how to act like a lady through table etiquette, and Rose immediately runs off to Jack). I also think it’s ironically symbolic that Cal gives her his mens coat toward the end, and we see pictures of young her wearing pants and riding horses “like a man” as her and Jack fantasized, etc.

I also think it’s intentional that Jack is slightly tomboyish/androgynous looking, younger, and open-minded, whereas Cal is older, dominant, and represents a sort of Byronic “tall, dark hair, handsome, rich” version of masculine appeal. There’s also the split in politics, class, etc. — they represent opposite ends of male sex appeal while both being attractive. The love story wouldn’t be effective if Cal was unattractive bc his sex appeal is necessary to the narrative. Jack and Cal’s contrasting versions of sex appeal are what make this love triangle so effective yet conflicting (aside from their differences in personality and Cal being abusive/Jack being supportive) because the contrast between Jack/Cal highlights and brings out Rose’s sexuality and her transgressive sexual desires. She refuses to be sexually passive for Cal. In nearly all of their scenes together, Rose and Cal are constantly competing for sexual dominance through their dynamic—whereas with Jack, Rose doesn’t have to compete for dominance bc Jack accepts her for the way she is and actively lets her take the reigns and sexually guide him, and Jack feels comfortable in the role he plays. During the drawing scene and in the car scene, he’s presented as being shy and nervous but is still clearly enthralled by her, whereas Rose is suddenly the comfortable/confident/more knowledgeable one, even making jokes when Jack reacts to seeing her disrobe. Typically in cishet romances, the roles would be reversed, which is what Cal desires—that’s Cal’s tragedy, that in the end when he searches for Rose during the sinking and then later on the Carpathia, he’s mourning a fantasy of who Rose was, & tried molding her into a submissive version of herself & destroying her dominant/masculine side.

For these reasons, I believe Jack also represents a part of Rose’s subconscious mind, and that the lines “he exists now only in my memory,” “it was the ship of dreams, and it was, it really was,” are symbolic of this. I see their relationship as being more importantly a deep bond of friendship and a connection between two kindred spirits than being solely romantic. To use a Freudian model, Jack helps bring out Rose’s “id” whereas Cal tries to supress it and bring out Rose’s “superego,” and Rose ends the film by forming a healthy “ego”—this is what makes the Cal/Jack/Rose love triangle so riveting and effective, because it represents this clash of values and this tug-of-war thru this Freudian Trio.

I’m considering turning all this into an actual academic essay atp lmao

[karrenseely]

Wait... I'm what?!

Sexuality is confusing as all get out to a trans kid. When I was a teenage girl and everyone insisted I was a teenage boy, I was extremely confused about my sexuality. Partly this is because I believed the gaslighting telling me I was a boy w/ shameful perverted thoughts. But also because part of me knew I was a girl. I was attracted to girls at the time, I think. However, this brings up the other issue, not having experienced attraction before, I couldn't tell if I was interested in other girls because I wanted a relationship or if I just really wished I was them. A quintessential trans issue.

I didn't have much interest in boys, though I did have fantasies about one of my friends, and even dreamed I was in a relationship with him. It was very confusing, I wasn't sure at first if it meant I was gay or straight if I was into a boy, and all these girls.

Later as I understood more thoroughly I was a girl, I realized, if I was going to have a relationship with a girl then it meant I would be a lesbian. This was also used to shame me, as something bad or perverted by my first therapist, adding to the confusion and self hatred. I really didn't know what was going on.

Now add to this, that I was asexual, I didn't even know that was a thing at the time. So all my fantasies? None of them involved sex, at all. I would think someone was pretty, or handsome. I had crushes on male movie stars at the time, Patrick Swayze, and Tom Cruise come to mind (I thought of them as safe, as I was never going to meet them). But again no sexual fantasies. My friends, who were all male (because I was terrified if I had female friends people would figure out my horrible secret of being a girl) would talk about sex a lot. I mean a lot. As would others at school. I never understood why. But having already been pretending to be a boy for years, I would respond with sexual innuendos and desires when I was queried about it and who I'd like to have a relationship with.

And because sex wasn't important to me, I only thought about it seriously in relation to me now and then. And after continuing to find it confusing, would decide I can try to figure that out better after transition. So I would just put it off. However, because I needed to continue to pretend to be a boy, at some point it was expected that I would have a girlfriend, so either a girl asked me or asked her, I don't remember which, probably the former, and I started dating her.

Ironically, this was part of the best year of my k-12 school life. With dating her, I had a group of friends I could hang out with, and I did actually have some fun that year, despite all the internal pain/dysphoria. One of the girls in the group though, could tell I didn't love my girlfriend that way, I suspect so did my girlfriend. And that person asked me if I loved her. I said no. To this day, I wish I'd said no, not in the way you mean. Because I cared about my girlfriend, but not romantically or sexually. And all through this I hated being in a relationship. I didn't specifically hate her, as noted above I cared for her. No I hated it, because I felt like I was the worst kind of liar. I was a girl, and everyone saw me as a boy. I was terrified of being discovered, but at the same time I hated the lying. It tore me up.

Transphobes never get it. They think we're lying after we transition, but to those of us who are trans, it feels like we're constantly lying before we come out, much less transition, as we try to pretend to be what everyone wants us to be. A lot of the transphobes arguments are like that. I think it's because they see us as our assigned birth sex, rather than the gender we've always been. But I digress.

So yes, I remained thoroughly confused about my sexuality. After I started living full time as myself, I explored dating, first with a boy. He was amazing, and very sweet. I met him on the bus. He asked me out and I said yes. We went on a few dates. But I never felt anything for him, and so it fizzled. I never kissed him, and he never asked or insisted. Like I said, he was very sweet. Whomever he ended up with is a very lucky girl. But given I had no feelings for him, and struggled with the idea of kissing him. I came to the conclusion I wasn't straight. And if I wasn't straight, then that meant I was a lesbian. And I came to terms with it and it became part of my identity.

However, I still didn't understand everyone's obsession with sex. The whole thing was a mystery. Through this time in college, I would develop crushes on my friends, as I got to know them. Which was painful, because only one seemed interested back, thankfully in a platonic way. I had trouble developing romantic feelings for anyone that I wasn't already friends with. This added to my distress around romance/sex because all my friends were dating left and right and having relationships with people they didn't know before and obviously had feelings for them. And I didn't work that way, and it sucked. I never did figure out how to navigate that side of things. Though at least now, I'm aware of it and why. I don't feel quite like the freak I did before I understood this part of me a little better.

Ironically, long before I understood what asexuality was, I realized I was not going to be able to satisfy my future partner's sexual needs, and if I loved them then they would need those needs met. And thus explored polyamory. I had trouble with the concept, until one day I realized that love is not pie, there isn't a limit for myself or my partners. Also how we love each individual feels different from every other individual. As such, we aren't replacing anyone by loving more than one person. This and realizing it is about trust and communication brought me into polyamory with a feeling of being comfortable with it.

Several times I found myself in very close friendships, and they were good, but I was convinced that these friends didn't love me, because they didn't want to have sex or a physical relationship with me. Not that I wanted to have sex, but as I understood it, romantic relationships had to have sex/physical relationship. And so I yearned, even though these relationships were pretty much what I needed. I'd never heard of asexuality, much less had it modeled for me.

In fact the first truly unconditionally loving relationship that was modeled for me and I was able to understand the message (others had been modeled for me, but I couldn't hear the message) was in my 30's in med school, by a friend who was in a wonderful loving relationship with the man she loved, and who loved her just as deeply.

That was the first hint to me, that thinking relationships were only real if they involved physical/sexual contact was wrong. But I still didn't quite understand what I was seeing. Their relationship was forced to be long distance by world circumstances for most of that year. But their love for each other was obvious, as was the fact that they wanted each other to be happy. But in watching them, I knew that was the kind of love I wanted to have.

Eventually, I did hear the term asexuality, but didn't really look into it. And for some odd inexplicable reason, didn't think it applied to me. It wasn't until I saw Laci Green's video on asexuality awareness, that it finally clicked. I was in my early 40's by then. And it clicked hard. Suddenly I understood that all those super close friendships I'd had in the past were actually relationships, and why it always felt like a break up when they ended. Because it was. I felt very sad, that I didn't understand these were my partner relationships at the time.

Despite that, I still get confused about my relationship now. Because I still have a hard time talking about it. Only in the past year have I started to explore the gradations of asexuality, and trying to understand where I fit on the spectrum and how that applies to my past and current relationships. And I've learned a few things.

I am not interested in sex, which I already knew, but I do want and need some contact, mostly this involves casual touching in a nonsexual way and hugs. Cuddling or a chaste kiss at most. And that's generally all that my fantasies consist of. However, I have also started exploring my body, working past the shame of my religious upbringing, and found I do like to masturbate. Though I don't have a strong need for it. But it does feel nice, and it's cool, if really late, that I've discovered that and that it's ok for an asexual person to like it, even though I'm not interested in sex with anyone.

It's been a long hard slow journey in figuring this out. I suspect it was made harder by my puritan/baptist upbringing and the associated shame and self hatred around sex. in the last few months, I've begun to wonder if part of my aversion to men, is that I'm scared of them. I don't really know why. But yes, there is a part of me that is scared of men. And so, trying to figure things out continues for me. And hopefully, I'll figure this aspect out and how it applies to my sexuality in time as well, hopefully it won't be decades from now.

So yes, when your assigned sex and gender don't match there is going to be a lot of confusion, if you're one of the much less talked about or even acknowledged sexualities, then it's going to be even more confusing. It's hard to know what you are if you don't know such a thing is possible. This was true for being trans, I thought I was alone and their were no words for what I was, until I learned about transgender people. And the same holds true for sexuality. Life is weird and confusing, and it's made harder when we don't, as a society, talk about all the ways it presents in a positive and affirming way.

[funnywormz]

putting some red dwarf headcanons below the cut bc im feeling kinda crappy and just wanna talk abt them.

please keep in mind that these are my readings of the characters and im in no way trying to claim these things are canon or the "correct" way of interpreting them, this is just how i see them personally. a lot of this is just rlly self-indulgent and involves me Projecting. if you don't agree with me on any/all of these, that's fine, i don't expect anyone to be on board with all of them tbh, just pls be nice to be abt it im sensitive

also just a warning. this post got very long bc i have a Lot to say lol

lister

gender: trans man, he/they

sexuality: bisexual

other: adhd (inattentive type), depression, amputee with prosthetic arm

notes: i headcanon lister as a trans man bc im trans masc myself and i find it very comforting to see him that way. it also fits in well with some aspects of canon, like his pregnancy in season 2. he's also just trans masc swag personified lol.

the bisexual headcanon seems to be shared by a lot of ppl in the fandom, and it's personally the way i see him. i think he has a definite preference for women but is still occasionally attracted to men, and (i am pretending that one scene in series 7 doesn't exist here lol 😒) i don't think he'd be repressed abt it at all. he's horny and not afraid to act on it

in terms of the neurodivergent stuff, i think adhd-i fits with his personality pretty well. i think that combined with his tendency to be depressed makes it hard for him to stay motivated and focused, and often means that he doesn't rlly take care of himself or his personal hygiene and seeks out short-term sources of pleasure like food, video games, alcohol and sex to keep himself happy, but can't rlly focus on long term goals. being the last human alive stuck in deep space definitely doesn't help. often his "laziness" is a result of his lack of energy and motivation rather than being an intentional thing. some days he just spend all of his time curled up on his bunk sleeping bc he can't find the drive to do anything else. he doesn't rlly WANT to be that way, he wants to have fun and actually do things, but it doesn't always happen and he has some rlly bad days at times.

with the prosthetic arm, personally i think they should've given him a prosthetic and had a proper character arc around him learning to cope with a disability back in season 7/8, rather than playing it off as a joke and immediately retconning it. i haven't rlly done much planning for this one yet but i just know i want it to be a thing. i think he would probably have a dope looking robot arm or something bc there's no way he'd just go for a boring generic arm if he had the choice imo. he would love to deck it out and customise it and put stickers all over it despite kryten telling him not to hehe

rimmer

gender: mostly cis man but maybe with a little hint of nonbinary-ness in there that he unfortunately refuses to acknowledge. he/him

sexuality: h for homosexual BABEY!!!!!!

other: autism, adhd (hyperactive), panic disorder, generalised anxiety disorder

notes: i think that it's quite possible that rimmer could have a little bit of gender stuff going on. when he projects his own insecurities abt gender and sexuality onto ace he specifically makes jabs abt ace probably wearing women's clothes in secret multiple times, which is equally as telling as his sniping abt ace being gay.

i also do headcanon rimmer as gay, but deeply, deeply repressed about it. he pursues women and kinda forces himself to believe he's attracted to them, but it's out of his desire to meet his own stupid arbitrary expectations of what he "should" be like, rather than out of any genuine attraction. ik a lot of ppl see him as bi, which is perfectly valid! but personally his pursuits of women read to me as something he does bc he feels he needs to do it to complete his image rather than something he does out of any real desire. he's also got enough internalised homophobia that it'd probably take decades of therapy to make him be normal abt it lol. rimmer wants to be the kind of man that he thinks will receive respect and will meet the expectations his family put on him as a child, and having a wife and children was always part of that image for him. he never really stopped to consider if that's something he actually wanted. i think he becomes more accepting of his own queerness as time goes on, but it does take time.

the neurodivergent stuff should be pretty self explanatory but im gonna rant abt it anyways. as an autistic person myself, i find rimmer very relatable. there are multiple scenes in the series where jokes and sarcasm go over his head completely, and countless times where he misreads body language and doesn't seem to get what kind of behaviour is appropriate for certain situations. he just seems to struggle with social interaction and bonding/making friends in general. he has intense interests that others don't rlly understand, like telegraph poles, risk, cars, morris dancing, etc. he gets pleasure out of organising and sorting things to a degree that seems pedantic to others, and seems genuinely confused when lister doesn't share his enthusiasm for cataloguing the ship's food stocks as a fun saturday night activity. he seems to enjoy routines and predictability, and gets upset when unexpected things happen. he also tends to get obsessive about small details rather than focusing on the big picture.

in terms of hyperactive adhd, it seems to me that rimmer often has a hard time slowing down and relaxing, and seems to need to be constantly on the go and doing things and generally fussing about. he also is self aware abt the fact that he has a hard time being quiet, and needs to talk more and at a faster pace than most other people, especially when he's nervous or distracted. as well as this, he often stims by rocking back and forth and jiggling his leg up and down (this also fits with the autism hc). he also has a tendency to procrastinate and seems to have a hard time studying, despite his attempts to convince people otherwise. it often comes up in the series that he'll get hyperfixated on doing something a bit arbitrary, like making an impeccable study timetable/schedule, or tidying, or sorting things into perfect order, rather than actually STUDYING, which is part of why he continuously fails his engineering exam.

the panic and anxiety disorder thing should be pretty self explanatory too. rimmer is clearly a worrier and has multiple panic attacks in the actual series. he seems to spend most of his time in a highly strung state of near panic, to the point where it interferes with his physical health. the way the canon narrative handles his anxiety, and his neurodivergent traits in general, is often a bit shitty lol, but it seems clear to me that he suffers from anxiety and panic attacks. kryten mentions that he's at a higher risk for those kinds of disorders due to genetics, but i also think that his childhood trauma and subsequent lifestyle (deathstyle??) definitely haven't helped him get any calmer lol

the cat

gender: trans man, he/him

sexuality: bisexual aromantic

other: autism

notes: most of these are more of a "because i said so" situation rather than things with canon evidence lol but still. esp the trans man one. i don't think the cat rlly has much of a concept of his own gender at all tbh, he just decided one day he was more comfortable as a man and stopped thinking abt it after that lol. i see the cat as bisexual bc i don't think he'd rlly give a fuck abt gender as long as ppl are hot and well presented, and i think he's aromantic bc throughout the series he doesn't seem to show much interest in a committed romantic relationship with anyone. when he does show interest in people, it reads more as purely sexual attraction to me than any desire to settle down or have an actual relationship.

i think he's autistic but it isn't always picked up bc his special interest is fashion, which isn't perceived to be a "typical" special interest. he seems very particular abt textures and colours, and puts meticulous effort into his wardrobe and often only wants to talk abt clothes even when ppl want to talk to him abt something else. to tie in with that, he doesn't seem great at reading social cues and often makes faux pas and accidentally insults others without realising it. he seems to generally have a hard time with empathy and understanding that others might not always share his interests and priorities

kryten

gender: nonbinary, any pronouns but generally uses he/him and is fine with this

sexuality: aroace

other: autism (again)

notes: ik that robots being nonbinary and aroace and autistic can be an unfortunate and frustrating stereotype sometimes, but it's just hard for me to see kryten any other way 😅. anyways, although im not aro or ace, i AM autistic and nonbinary and i think robots rule and i adore kryten so WHATEVER!!!! take it up with my nonexistent lawyer or something idc

in terms of being nb, kryten seems to only have the vaguest idea of what gender actually is, and i doubt that he really identifies as particularly male or female. he's most used to being perceived as male, but i don't think he really identifies with manhood. he seemed actively repulsed by male reproductive organs when he was briefly human, which makes me think that if he was human he'd probably suffer from gender dysphoria if he had to live in an amab body, but likewise he seems to have mixed feelings abt being perceived as a woman in season 8. in truth, i think he fits somewhere in the middle.

i see kryten as aroace bc he just never rlly seems to express any interest in sex or romance, even seeming confused by both concepts at different points. he IS a deeply loving and passionate and affectionate person at times imo, but it's always platonic i think. he just doesn't strike me as someone who would get any enjoyment or fulfilment out of having sex or being in a romantic relationship.

the autistic hc should once again be pretty obvious. he has a hard time reading social cues a lot of the time, and enjoys repetitive tasks that other ppl find boring, like ironing etc. he also just generally does and says things that strike others as eccentric without meaning to come across that way and jokes often go right over his head. he's autistic to me. ik that a lot of this is tied up with him being a mechanoid, but im autistic and i love kryten so im claiming him fuck you

kochanski

gender: trans woman, she/her

sexuality: lesbian

other: autism, generalised anxiety disorder

notes: ive seen a few ppl hc kochanski as a trans woman and i rlly warmed up to it. it also makes sense that lister would get a crush on her if he knew she was trans and they had "two of the only trans ppl on the dwarf" solidarity, like i can imagine it being part of why he came to like her tbh.

ik kochanski's statement abt her dave being gay and them just pretending to be in a relationship was immediately dismissed by lister and she didn't argue abt it, but i like to personally believe it's true. i think for a long time she struggled with internalised homophobia and didn't mind getting attention from men, esp bc it validated her gender as well. but in my headcanon it was always uncomfortable for her and never felt right, hence why she broke up with her lister before the accident (although the breakup was also in part due to her lister's struggles with his sexuality as well). much like with rimmer, i think kochanski had high expectations of herself and felt anxious for others to see her as a "real woman", and for a long time it was hard for her to reconcile being a lesbian with those expectations. but she gets there eventually.

at first i was on the fence abt headcanoning kochanski as being autistic, but i decided to do it. she's better at masking than rimmer is, but it still shows through in her very particular sensory preferences and attachment to comfort items and occasional misreading of social situations. likewise with generalised anxiety, i think she has a tendency to get anxious and worry abt things that other ppl might not care abt, and becomes stressed pretty easily. she tries her best to hide it, but she likes to be in control of a situation and know what all of the likely outcomes are, and when she can't have that level of control she finds it deeply upsetting and destabilising. she likes to have predictability and routine and takes comfort in familiar objects and sensations even when those things might seem silly or irrelevant to others.

holly

gender: nonbinary (imagine all of the computer related puns she could make abt this lol he would love it), any pronouns

sexuality: bisexual

other: n/a

notes: holly is so nonbinary to me. it's basically canon already considering that they switch back and forth between male and female presentation multiple times. i don't think gender means a hell of a lot to holly but she enjoys messing around with it and trying out new things. my personal headcanon is that she prefers presenting in more of a feminine way but the default presentation he's programmed with is masculine and she can't rlly be bothered changing it a lot of the time bc she doesn't rlly give a smeg.

likewise i think holly is attracted to men and women and everyone else. i don't think he feels sexual or romantic attraction that often but it definitely happens. they only ever really feel attraction to other ai though and aren't into organic beings in that way, and bc he hardly ever gets to encounter other ai her romantic life is kinda nonexistent lol.

i think holly probably has some Brain Stuff going on but idk what exactly so ive left that blank for now. if i come up with anything i will probably edit this later

OK THAT'S IT FOR NOW sorry this post is long as fuck. hope you guys enjoyed reading me ramble on abt the silly little fellows

[echolipse]

1. What is your romantic/sexual orientation? Panromantic asexual 2. Are you out? To whom? I'm not even sure. I'm not hiding it but I haven't done a formal "hi this is what I am" lol. 3. How old were you when you realized you were asexual? What made you realize it? I knew it was something weird with me sexually at like 13, but I didn't realize what exactly until I learned about asexuality at the age of 20. 4. Do you identify as a part of the queer community? What communities do you identify with? Yes. Mainly just LGBTQ+ in general, but for more specific ones it'll be the asexual and trans/enby communities. 5. Tell the story of the first person you came out to. I came out to my mom as bisexual when I was 14, that's what I thought I was back then (I just knew I liked both binary genders), I didn't know there were more specific things than straight, bi, gay. I told her in an SMS from my bedroom lol. She replied that she loved me regardless. 6. Have you faced oppression because of your asexuality, whether institutional or societal? I'm not sure. 7. Who’s your favorite Doctor? (Or, do you have a favorite asexual character?) David Tennant. 8. Do you believe there should be asexual pride? What do you imagine it being like? I mean, just celebrate pride with the general LGBTQ+ movement. 9. What does being asexual mean to you? Sexual attraction is little to non-existent. 10. What have other people said about your asexuality? Not much tbh. 11. If you’re out, talk about the most accepting person you’ve come out to. If you’re not out, talk about what you would hope a coming out experience would be like. Most people in my life are very accepting of LGBTQ+ as a whole. 12. Your favorite asexual Tumblr site. Don't have any. 13. Your favorite asexual website. Don't have any. 14. Tell us about a time you met another asexual, whether in real life or online. Don't remember. 15. Your favorite asexual character/celebrity/person. I like that guy on tiktok that calls himself tiktok jesus, he's asexual and pretty funny. 16. Your favorite “asexual” book (as in, sex and/or romance are not the main focus). A good girls guide to murder. 17. Your favorite “asexual” movie. Can't decide on a favorite. 18. Tell us a funny joke about asexuality. No. 19. What do relationships mean to you? Haven't been in one in 9 years, don't even remember anymore. 20. Tell us about your partner(s). If you are not in a relationship, tell us about your best friend(s). My best friends are great. I don't know what to say, I just think they're great and I'm happy to know them. I don't have the energy to write a lot about each of them (even tho it's just 2). 21. Your favorite asexual quote. Idk, maybe the classic "I'd rather have cake" 22. What do you believe causes asexuality? No clue. What causes gayness? 23. What is your favorite asexual pride image? Probably one with a dinosaur shape colored with the ace colors or something. 24. Write something or post a picture about asexuality that upsets you. It's hard finding love... not that I tried that hard, I'm lazy and don't like people lol. 25. What is the worst argument you’ve heard against asexuality? "You're not a plant" 26. Who is your biggest ally? My best friends. 27. What is your favorite types of cake? Carrot cake. 28. What is your favorite type of pie? (Or, is pie an acceptable replacement for cake?) No. 29. Where did you first learn about asexuality? I think it was here on tumblr. 30. Tell us anything about asexuality that you want to end with. I'm tired of writing now.

[no0dlru]

is that post abt your bf a complaint or. cause it doesnt sound like its fun for u lol

Uhhhh, it's not really intended as a complaint. Things can be frustrating at times, but the point in being intimate with someone is the intimacy, to me at least.

A lot of my friends talk about sex as if it's such a prerequisite for a relationship. One mate was saying she doesn't understand why someone she knows would agree to no sex before marriage; she said that, without having sex, you couldn't know whether you'd want to be/stay with a partner. I disagreed, saying you can know if you love someone regardless of if you've had sex. It's silly to think asexual people are any less able to love, so of course non-asexual people who've decided to be celibate for whatever reasons aren't any less loving for their decision. They're not "withholding" anything. By contrast, to expect sex from anyone who isn't enthusiastic about it themselves is about as unloving as you could be.

Another friend relayed a conversation about a woman in the club saying "I think he's really special - he even went down on me, and no guys ever done that for me before", to which her friend replied "That shouldn't be special! Any decent guy would do that, it's entirely normal!" - she agreed. On one hand, yeah; if guys are willing to hook up and actually have sex, and they have no qualms with doing whatever else *specifically except* oral, just from a genuine lack of care about their partner's enjoyment, then yeah, that's annoying. And a lot of guys are like that due to patriarchal brainrot...

But again, sexuality is about closeness and mutual enjoyment to me. It's about finding out what each other enjoys, and listening to and understanding each other. To feel pressured to perform a sexual act is one of the worst feelings. There's a difference between being selfishly unreciprocal and keeping boundaries.

I purposefully used the phrase pillow princess in the post because I found the gendered language pertinent; pillow princess isn't necessarily a derogative term with lesbians, it's a value-neutral descriptor of a person in a specific dynamic. It's someone with certain preferences who pairs well with a certain counterpart (like a stone butch). A woman who wants to receive pleasure but, for whatever reason, doesn't want to give it, isn't seen in the same way as guys are described above. She's attractive to ppl with complimentary desires, and that's appreciated. Her sexual preferences are respected as her choice.

The difference to me seems largely sociological (i.e., aforementioned patriarchal brainrot). Porn, media, social pressures, etc., encourage men (and everyone else for that matter) to see sex in a consumptive way, commodifying the experience. I find it tragic that so many guys basically want to masturbate with their partner's body, that there's an impersonality, and that they don't properly connect with their partner or consider them. I think the fact lesbians have been subject to misogyny rather than benefiting from patriarchy means the choice not to reciprocate seems less entitled.

When I asked my bf once what it was he actually wanted in terms of intimacy, he basically said "I don't know... the point is to have fun, right?". And he's right. That consumptive lens I mentioned affects what my mates said before, too. A sense of transaction, exchange, expectation. Like undetermined portions of the relationship - the dates, or conversations, or foreplay, or idea of a future together - are deposits for an expected return. Or investments. Or loans. To me at least, if your relationship doesn't work unless you expect your partner to perform whatever sexual act, you're not in a good romantic relationship. You need to figure out what each other's needs and desires are, and how you both feel, then find a way to have fun with it.

I am having fun, lol. I know my bf isn't like that in a dispassionate way, he's just doing things at his own pace. It's not out of a lack of consideration, and I know he does love me very much. To go back to the commodification thing, a lot of people see sex acts like a shopping list of wants to check off, or as if they're necessary to feel desired in turn. Fun in sex isn't just quantifiable that way. Experiences aren't fungible like that. I could easily get more genuine enjoyment lying and stroking his hair than I have from some hookups before. When we got together, I knew he was intimidated by all of the expectations that surround sex - the bravado of his mates, the way it's described in media, how it's expected to fit into guys' egos. He was worried I'd think less of him for having boundaries. I'm disappointed in myself, frankly, for having been impatient or frustrated about how he's going about things, not that I'd said anything to him or whatever. Time spent with someone you love is beautiful for what it is. And fun, lol.

[leatherbookmark]

fuck or die/sex pollen, Very Specific This Is Almost Definitely The Writer's Job/Hobby AU, Magical Creachure AU

wow, anon! those are Just the tropes i wanted to talk about! it's almost as if you were me, sending this ask to myself for this exact purpose! amazing. anyway

fuck or die/sex pollen: are technically different things but i will put them together and give them an A because they're the one trope that i actually Have In The Past combed ao3 for. lol. i don't know! i don't know. usually characters losing the control over their autonomy, bodies and so on kinda bug me, and while in a certain state i can accept a/b/o, when i try to think about the Social Circumstances of everyone being aware you're in horny town/about to enter horny town/submissive and breedable/etc for more than five seconds i go insane, but. there's SOMETHING about fuck or die and sex pollen that just *clenches fist* gets me.

i haven't read many fics where the characters forced to fuck are total not even a little sexually attracted to each other*; mostly it's been ships i was interested in, and while obviously for the characters involved it's probably hell, there's often this moment of... idk, assurance that neither part is using the other? the mind-blowing sex we're about to have is 100% medicinal/situational, i am doing this 100% respectfully...!

*hold up. i have. IT WAS NIECEST. i think some guys have captured them and forced them to fuck or else, and it was hoooorrible for them both because they were NOT miserably in forbidden love with each other in this scenario. 🥰🥰🥰

except. EXCEPT. there's also the Angst Potential (which i hope to squeeze as much as in can when i get to it 😬). the "i want him to rail me into next tuesday, but of course he would never...! and yet here he is, forced to rail me into next tuesday to save my life! how horrible! i am staining his pristine body with my filthy, cursed, and horny body...! ah! what horror. what utter bliss". as well as the top version of it, aka the "ah! he would never! but here i am, having to--" etc. but ALSO the, uh, spoiler alert, "i would love to be somewhere else. instead i am railing this person, who is very dear to me in a way i can't yet explain due to reasons etc, into next tuesday. they seem into it. no, it's the curse. but they seem really into it. no, i'm victim-blaming. they would never. not that it's bad. but--"

like. Wa Hoo! nice 👍

Very Specific This Is Almost Definitely The Writer's Job/Hobby AU: fucks like a rabid rhino even in cases where i have no idea what any of those terms mean. i want to get IMMERSED! give me those DETAILS you funky little author! YEAS. A

Magical Creachure AU: AH YOU SEE. depends on everything including the creachure.

like, say, one of them is a mermaid (gender neutral). i just got reminded of a rinharu mermaid fic that i was crazy about back in the times. anyway! there's... the list of things that happen in a mermaid au is pretty predictable, i think? dude finds a mermaid, they either meet on the beach or the mermaid is injured and needs help --> into the bathtub you go; the mermaid learns about human stuff and the human learns about mermaid stuff, insert conflict either down there or up there, sex? and then A SOLUTION, which often is "the mermaid stays on land due to Love". it can be done well! and it can be done not well. it really depends!

paradoxically, i don't really like it when the creature character is too much like an animal and too little like a human. does this make sense? for example, when they eat their human's pet, don't know much about Emotions, talk about Nesting and Mating rather than, idk, finding someone to fuck... that's. that's kind of like an animal that can talk, i feel? not exactly my cup of tea, so to speak. i'd much prefer if there was some other Culture under the sea, with existing traditions and such, but a culture nonetheless. something like "i caught you this big huge fish in broad daylight because i want you to be my mate forever!" vs "oh yeah, well, when we like someone we bring them stuff, mostly good food but cool stuff from the surface is a hit too. you do that too...? ah, figures. shit listen can i bring you a hugeass fish because i don't really have cash money"

When There Are Vampires/Werewolves: i have this sad disease called "i don't really care about vampires/werewolves and i don't think blood sucking is sexy" :(

When One Of Them Can Turn Into Some Animal: yknow what. yeah. yeah that's good stuff (i bet you're all surprised). this is good. there's Human Them, and then there's Animal Them, and they both need different things, and their beloved wants to give it to them. what's cooler than a little guy chilling in the coils of a huge fuckass dragon, who is his loving boyfriend? probably that dragon boyfriend killing some annoying people for him! what's cooler than a guy cuddling a bighuge wolf who's (you guessed it!) their boyfriend who has a bad brain day and just needs to be dog for a bit. what's cooler than lan xichen holding a little bird a-yao in his hands, gently, so gently that not a feather on a-yao's person is ruffled, ready to hide him from the world, ready to kill for this tiny ball of feathers, each smaller than his little fin--hi? no i did not drop any names, you're just imagining things. anyway. S

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #099

(taken january 7th; uploading surveys taken while gone)

Assuming you have a Facebook, who’s the last person you added? My niece Delia.

Assuming you have a cell phone, what was the last thing you used it for? Checking Instagram.

Describe your purse or bag in ten words: Black, leather, studded, skull-embossed, small, thin, textured, uh... that's all I can think of.

Are you friends with your brother’s girlfriend: They're engaged so she's more than that to him, but not technically. We have each other on Facebook and it's not awkward to interact or anything, especially because she WANTS to make family so important, but we've never actually met and haven't spoken much. She seems absolutely lovely though and is such a good mom to Christian (who's not even hers, but that's her son) and Asher. I relate to her because she's so convinced she's not good enough.

Have you taken the 5,000 question survey? I've seen it but haven't because the vast majority of the questions were insufferably dumb.

What is it that attracts you to your boyfriend? He makes me feel valued and like I matter and am capable of anything I put my mind to.

What’s your favorite filling in chocolates? Maybe caramel, or peanut butter.

Does your best friend have any phobias? I'm sure he does, but I'm not sure. He doesn't like scary games while otherwise being a massive gamer, but I don't think that qualifies as a "phobia." I know he's a bit uncomfortable with snakes too, he still hasn't touched Venus, but again it doesn't seem like a phobia, but rather a bit of discomfort from common misinformation and ignorance.

What breed of dog do you find the most annoying? Chihuahuas. I say that while having one, lol.

What’s the last picture you colored? One that I drew.

What do you remember from sex ed class when you were younger? I specifically remember in the 4th grade, where we didn't go into actual details of reproduction, I asked if you had to be with a boy to get pregnant. The teacher told me I'd learn next year.

What’s the first instrument you ever played? The recorder in elementary school.

Would you ever eat rhino meat? I would starve before I put a critically endangered - or just endangered - animal in my mouth.

The music you listen to: Is it mostly sung by female or male vocalists? Men. It's not an intentional choice, I seem to just like more male vocalists.

Do you think it’s important to enjoy your job or do you just work for money? I HAVE to enjoy my job, whenever I get one. I'm very well aware that otherwise I would be unbearably depressed, I just wouldn't be able to last.

Do you require glasses/contacts to see properly? If so, which do you use? I wear glasses and have to to see even remotely decently. I also have astigmatism in one of my eyes (I can't remember which) without glasses.

If you had to change your name, what would you change it to? Maybe like, Quinn, or something else kinda androgynous. Or Day; I don't know if anyone actually is named that, but I've come to really love it as a woman's name.

What would you choose to be famous for? Photographer, I guess. Being known for dramatic wildlife shots would be extremely cool.

If you had to go on a game show, which would you choose? I guess Family Feud, I think that one is pretty fun. And I just really enjoy Steve Harvey as a host.

Have you ever wished you were born the opposite gender? Why? No; my gender has just never mattered to me so I don't care what it is. I'm fine identifying with my biological sex.

Do you love anyone who’s name starts with A? Yes; my sister Ashley, for one, and her daughter Aubree. One of my half-sisters also has a girl named Aria, and though I barely know her, she's an absolute sunshine and I love her anyway.

When is the last time someone of the opposite sex gave you a hug? My nephew did yesterday!

Who was the last person you flirted with? I don't flirt with anyone but Girt.

Has anyone ever asked you if you were bipolar? It's possible a non-professional has. I was diagnosed by a psychiatrist with bipolarity II as a very young teenager and I absolutely know it's visible if you spend enough time with me, so.

Is your last ex still someone you care about? Full transparency, no. I don't wish bad things for her, but I don't care about her.

Do you know anyone who died of breast cancer? It's very possible, but I don't think so. I know people who have survived it.

Have you ever kissed someone that was the same sex as you? Yes.

Do you miss any of your old friends? Oh of course. It sucks that you drift away from so many people for no real reason as you grow.

Ever taken a picture kissing someone? Yes.

Have you ever been in a lighthouse? No, but that'd be very cool.

What are the names of the neighbors to your right? I don't remember his name, but Mom does. He's helped her get heavy stuff into the house in the past.

Left? I don't know, but again, Mom does.

What was the name of the last dog you pet? Cookie.

Do you find that you have a certain meal you eat every time you go to certain restaurants? That is very, very normal for me.

What is the temperature in your city right now? At this moment my weather app says 47*F.

Ever had to get any stitches? At least twice.

The most recent staircase you went down, what did it lead to? Ashley has a good few steps leading up to her house's door.

Which major body of water do you live by? We live like, not quite two hours from the Atlantic Ocean.

Who is the last person that you took a picture with? My nieces and nephew.

What is your state most famous for? I just looked it up and there's not a real clear answer, but I know being "first in flight" is definitely one. Our mountains are also very loved and are where you're gonna find the most tourists here.

Have you ever witnessed a tornado? No and I positively NEVER want to, from ANY distance, because my heart will 200% drop out my ass.

Have you ever driven an electric car? No.

Do you live in an area that is prone to tornadoes? Not especially, but tornado watches aren't all that rare at the right time of year. It's pretty rare a tornado actually drops down, though.

What five words best describe your mother’s personality? Selfless, caretaker, resilient, extremely strong, and protective.

During thunderstorms, how does your pet react? Cookie doesn't like thunder very much and will sometimes shake. Roman doesn't care, but he'll sometimes look out the window to watch the rain. Venus is of course entirely unaffected.

Do you like egg nog? No, it's really gross imo.

Do you like croutons in your salad? No.

When you were little, did you like watching Cartoon Network, Disney, or Nickelodeon more? Disney.

If you have siblings, when was the last time you saw them? I saw Ash yesterday because Mom and I watched the kids, and I last saw Nicole less than a week ago when she was grabbing stuff to move into her new house and have dinner here.

Throughout a typical week, which places are you likely to go? Wal-Mart is pretty much a given, usually Walgreens I think, and maybe somewhere for food. It's pretty common that I'll have SOME sort of doctor appointment, too.

How often do you use your webcam, if you even have one that is? I don't use it.

Name a song that reminds you of an ex? "The Mortician's Daughter" by Black Veil Brides.

Do moths freak you out? No, I love them, especially bigger ones. I kinda want a lunar moth tattoo at some point.

Are all of your friends virgins? I am extremely doubtful I have any virgin friends.

How many piercings do you have? Six currently. I think I'm going to use some of my Christmas money for an industrial ear cartilage piercing.

Have you ever had a panic attack? More than I can count/remember. They're one of the worst things I think a human can experience.

Have your parents ever smoked pot? Dad has; he's done way worse than that, before he and Mom had kids. I don't think Mom has ever mentioned doing it.

Do you think your last ex deserves to die? No.

Do you own more than one cell phone? Not that I actually use; I have an old iPhone stored somewhere with lots of old pictures, but I really should just get rid of it...

Have you ever been asked out? By Aaron, Juan, Jason, Tyler, and Girt (the first time we dated). I do remember there was a kid in elementary school, 4th grade, who asked me out obsessively, but I don't remember his name. Uhhhh I honestly feel like there were other guys who played very little parts in my life, too, but I might be wrong. MAYBE Joel did, but I don't think so.

Do you still watch kiddy movies or tv shows? Yeah, zero shame.

If you could have any last name in the world, what would you want? I hate Girt's last name and I still want it, lol. I'm not even going to hyphenate, pretty sure.

How many keys are on your key chain? Just one, to my house.

If you were given a canvas and watercolors, what would you paint? I actually plan on drawing/painting something to give Girt on Valentine's: a happy-looking male meerkat with an orange aura to represent a bright, vibrant personality, and he's gonna be smiling or nuzzling a female meerkat colored teal to recall sadness, but his orange aura is pushing her blue one away. They're contrasting colors and teal is also his favorite color, so I think he'd really like it.

What is your favorite thing about the beach? Watching the water and how powerful and mesmerizing it is.

What was your favorite meal growing up? Spaghetti.

What was your 1st alcoholic beverage? Mike's Hard Lemonade.

What is your favorite shade of yellow? Light shades, like the ones that make you think of Easter.

Do you currently have a hickey? Uh it's either gone or very very close to gone, I'd have to go to a mirror and I don't care to.

On your Facebook friends list, who was the last person to have their b-day? How old were they? My friend Baylee's birthday was yesterday. She's just a bit younger than me; I don't feel like double-checking how old she turned.

Is your best friend in a relationship? With me, yes. If you don't include my boyfriend, I don't really think I have a truly best friend.

What was the last song you listened to? Does it mean anything to you? It was "Whore" by In This Moment, and no, not really.

What’s the age difference between your parents? Either one or two years. I THINK one, but I might be wrong.

[sonderrow]

Jael is labelled as HETEROFLEXIBLE. In his personal case, what does that mean? The “Hetero” part is obvious, but what about the “Flexible” part?

I could ramble plenty about this but I found that the verywellmind article described very well my thoughts, so let me quote it and maybe give out some specific comments in Jael’s case!

“[In the early 20th century, as] long as a man dressed and acted in masculine ways and was the penetrating partner, it was acceptable to have intercourse with other men. Men who acted in feminine ways and were the receiving partner were called “fairies,” rather than gay. It was all about gender performance, rather than attraction. As the 20th century moved on, however, ideas of heterosexuality and homosexuality took hold as identities. In other words, having sex with people of the same gender became more than an act: it was something someone was, rather than something someone just did—an identity over an activity.”

At its core, Jael simply doesn’t identify in any queer spectrum at all, that is yes based on very traditional views of what homosexuality means to one’s masculinity.

“ Heteroflexibility Today In the past few years, social scientists have seen a return to flexible notions of what it means to be heterosexual. Recent research by social scientists Carillo and Hoffman suggests that men who have occasional sex with other men are able to expand the category of “heterosexuality” to include their behavior. Mostly, they do this in terms of denying their attraction to men and talking about sex with men as only for pleasure, when women are unavailable, or as a perversion.This research concludes that instead of switching to a bisexual identity, these men change the definition of heterosexual to include occasional sexual acts with men—something that sounds a lot like the early 20th century New Yorkers that Chauncey studied. As long as these men maintain that they are not inherently attracted to men and behave in typically masculine ways, they retain their heterosexuality—and privilege.

Having Sex Without Attraction Many people have sex with people they are not attracted to, and have even enjoyed that sex. It could be for many reasons: they hired a sex worker, or they had sex with an available partner exclusively for their own pleasure, for example. This means that heteroflexible men don’t have to be attracted to men to be willing to have sex with them. However, in some cases, they could also be denying their attraction to avoid the label of homosexual. It is difficult for scientists to separate the two.”

Jael definitely isn’t attracted to men, or manly features. He won’t get turned on by any sort of pornography that is in the “Gay” category; even the fetish of “Trap” will get him immediately turned off. Jael actively seeks out females and exclusively females when wishing for romance or sexual interaction. The “flexibility” comes from the context and availability as mentioned above.

If anything, Jael only considers himself “less picky” than most straight men. Able to be hard and actually have “fun”. In a very raunchy way of saying, “a hole is a hole”. And Jael will only find actual pleasure and not just release from another male partner if they bear enough feminine feature for him to focus on, which is extremely rare. Strictly physically speaking, they have to adhere to his taste, which are unique particular like everyone’s are, and he cannot change them at will.

Being “gay” to Jael is inherently a flaw. Not that he openly talks like it is so, but the stigma is deep into his mindset, turned into something that is “progressive and alright with others… but must never be applied to me”.

“Heteroflexibility as an orientation is akin to categories 1 and 2 on the Kinsey scale. […] Though research by Carillo and Hoffman highlights the main difference between bisexual and heteroflexibility: heteroflexible people claim that they are not attracted to people of the same gender. ”

[marvelmusing]

Biology Lessons

Alpha!Modern!Laszlo Kreizler x Omega!Fem!Reader

My Masterlist

A/N: I was curious about the biology of A/B/O and ended up reading a lot of Wikipedia pages, 3000 words and a small Alpha Laszlo obsession later here we are

WARNINGS: 18+ content, unprotected smut, A/B/O dynamics, reader has female anatomy but no gender specific pronouns have been used (if there have been please let me know)

You and Laszlo had been together for two years. During this time you had been intimate on plenty of occasions, however you’d always ignored your secondary sex. When together, you were just two lovers, not an Alpha and Omega. You had limited experience with dealing with your biology and Laszlo had respected your decision to stay on your suppressants. He, in turn, had begun taking some of the weaker forms of suppressants. The kind that reduced his rut to a few days that he spent at John’s house. This situation worked well, until you reached the point where you changed your mind and wanted to come off your suppressants. You trusted Laszlo to help you through it and he was more than eager to take care of you.

“Have you ever had a heat?” Laszlo asks you. The two of you are sitting in his downstairs office at his house. The fire crackles in the hearth, casting a glow over Laszlo’s face as he watches you. Your eyes wander as you think about it.

“Once or twice when I first presented. But I started on suppressants pretty young.” He frowns a little, and you know his medical side disapproves. “We never learnt much about it in school.” You explain, trying to justify your decision. He nods immediately,

“Of course. The education system is curated for the success of Alphas. That, and sex education regarding Omegas is still often considered taboo.” He places a hand on your knee, “That’s not your fault, drágám.” You nod, keeping your focus on the hem of the robe you’re wearing - Laszlo’s bathrobe. “Would you like me to explain it to you?” Your face warms at the thought, and you shake your head.

“You don’t have to.”

“No, but I’d like to. I think you deserve to know about yourself.” You give him a small nod. He smiles kindly at you and beckons you closer. When you approach him, he pulls you into his lap. “What would you like to know?” He asks you. You shrug slightly, fiddling with your fingers.

“I don’t know.” You admit quietly. He hums in thought, before asking you,

“How would you describe my scent?” You nuzzle your face into the crook of his neck as you inhale his scent. He smiles softly, his hand resting at the back of your neck, knowing that his scent will take the edge off your nerves. Your eyes flutter open as a small smile tugs at your lips.

“It’s like the citrus soap from my grandmother’s house, and the smell of new books, and your office, and like home.” You tell him and he squeezes the back of your neck affectionately.

“You smell like a field of fresh flowers, clean linen, and warm sugared tea. Soft and sweet, and safe.” He admits. You smile up at him as you lean your temple against his shoulder. He taps your nose gently with the tip of his finger. “The scent receptors in your nose pick up my scent and your body’s response depends on how appealing you find it.”

“Very appealing.” You admit against his neck and he hums affectionately.

“This is what helps you decide on my suitability as a mate. As well as other factors such as aesthetics, personality, and overall attraction.”

“That, and you’re one of the kindest, most loving men I’ve ever met.” He looks down, never used to the praise you always give him. His smile widens as he leans in to kiss your cheek.

“Enough flattery from you. It’s time for our lesson.” He tightens his hold on you as you smile at him, resting his weaker hand on your thigh. “Heat cycles occur once every season, so usually four in a year. The heat itself lasts between five and ten days, but that depends on the person.” His thumb skims across the skin of your bare legs lightly. “While Omegas can be sexually active outside of their heat, it is much more pleasurable during their cycle.” You’ve always loved listening to him talk, but hearing him explain all this to you has your body melting against his as your eyes remain fixed on his lips as he speaks. “Did you know that, as your mate, I may be able to trigger your heat?” You blink at him in surprise. You didn’t know that. “It isn’t always possible, but would you like me to try?” He asks, noticing your interest. You nod cautiously, and he takes your hands as he guides you off his lap, before pulling you towards the centre of his office. He sits you down on his desk with your legs parted, and he stands between them. He places his warm hands on your thighs, and nuzzles his nose against your neck. “You know where your scent glands are, yes?” You nod. You tap your finger against the ones on each side of your throat, then bare your wrists to him to show him the areas. You frown before mentioning,

“There’s another pair, I think, but I don’t know where they are.” He smiles proudly at you,

“Correct. There is one here, and here.” He tells you, trailing his fingers along each of your thighs. “They’re a little different from your other ones, which is why most people forget about them.” He squeezes your thighs tenderly as he continues his explanation. “Their main purpose is so that when you go into heat your slick will smell of your Alpha, and tell everyone that you’re taken.” You swallow the whine in your throat, but he knows the effect he’s having on you already. “How long have you been off your suppressants?” He asks you. He knows the answer of course, but he wants to see if your mind is still functioning.

“Around two weeks.” He nods,

“The perfect time to trigger your heat. That is of course if you want to?” You nod hurriedly,

“Please.” He steps closer,

“All I need to do is apply a little pressure here,” the pads of his fingers press against the glands in your thighs. He smiles at the sight of your head falling back, bearing your neck to him. “A little stimulus here.” His tongue moves across the pulse of your throat, sending a shudder down your spine. “And for you to take a nice deep breath.” You do as he says, your body responding instantly to his pheromones. He smells the change in your scent and smiles. “There you go, good Omega.” He coos. You whine at the warmth spreading slowly through your body as you cling to your Alpha. “You should be feeling rather warm now.” You nod your head a few times in agreement. He hums, “And I can smell your slick already.” He nuzzles his lips against your neck, and you whine for him. “By triggering your heat, we’ve skipped the pre-heat nesting stage. But don’t worry Omega, I’ve prepared the bed for you, and you can fix it up just how you like it tomorrow.” You’re beginning to pant and a shimmer of sweat is coating your skin as your fingers tug at his clothing. His words certainly aren’t helping either. He cups your face. “But right now, I think my Omega needs my knot, yes?” You nod hurriedly,

“Alpha, please.” You loop your arms around his neck, wrapping your legs around his torso, and he hooks his hands underneath your thighs. He lifts you from his desk and takes you up to the bed. When you see the bed set up, a large number of pillows at one end, blankets bunched up the sides, and the whole place smells of Laszlo’s cologne. “Laszlo.” You whisper softly, as the sight pulls on your heartstrings.

“I wanted everything to be perfect.” He admits, leaning in to kiss you.

“You’re here, it couldn’t be more perfect.” You tell him through the kiss. You can feel his grin as his mouth moves against yours, the back of your legs meeting the bed, and he guides you down carefully. He pulls at the belt of the bathrobe, letting it fall open and taking a moment to admire you. He pulls away to remove his clothes, and you whimper at the lack of contact. You take this moment as an opportunity to slip the robe from your body, abandoning it on the floor. You turn onto your stomach, hands smoothing up the bedsheets to rest above your head. Hips shifting needily, you arch your back, your knees digging into the mattress. Once he’s undressed, Laszlo looks back at you and his jaw nearly drops, though he’s quick to recover.

“Such a pretty picture, my beautiful Omega, already presenting for me.” He settles between your open thighs, leaning his body over yours. You rut your hips back against his, desperate for any sort of friction. You feel his smirk as his mouth moves across your shoulder. His hand descends between your thighs, fingers pressing against your warm folds. “And you’re so wet already, drágám.” He slips his finger deep into you, drawing a needy gasp from your lips.

“Laszlo, Alpha, please.”

“More?”

“Yes, yes please.” He removes his finger, leaving you whining, your hips chasing him. His hands curl around your waist, squeezing you gently as he tuts.

“Patience Omega.” But you don’t have to wait long, as he lines himself up to your entrance. In one fluid motion he’s filled you up, your eyes squeezed shut and your back arching against the mattress. “Such a perfect fit.” He moans against your neck, his accent getting thicker as you take in every inch of him. He kisses your shoulder delicately.

“Tell me when I can move, édesem.” You take a few gasping breaths, trying to become accustomed to the haze filling your mind. He notices your struggle. “Relax Omega. Let me take care of you.” A tiny whine catches in your throat, then you’re nodding.

“Please, Alpha.” His forehead presses between your shoulder blades as he moves in and out of you. Every single one of your moans and gasps has him nearing the edge of his restraint. Whilst Laszlo wants to focus on you, his need is slowly growing and he wants to ensure you want this.

“Drágám, darling Omega,” he rasps out. “I don’t think I can hold back for much longer.”

“Don’t, please. Don’t hold back.” That’s all it takes for his pace to increase. His fingers dig into the soft flesh of your thighs as he pushes you closer. You press your forehead hard against the plush of the mattress as you feel his knot pushing against your entrance. You whine, desperate for him to fill you completely. Growling against the skin of your back, nails gripping onto your hips, he drives his hips harder against yours. You don’t feel the thin red lines trailing down your thighs as you clench around him. “Are you ready for my knot, Omega? I know you’re close.” You can’t reply. Your mind is completely lost to the feeling of your Alpha taking you to pieces. “I need you to come, so my knot can stuff you full.” As soon as he knows you’re about to come he pushes his knot into you. Your eyes roll back, and you come hard with a broken cry. Only a moment later Laszlo comes as well, his lips grazing down your spine as he does. His knot swells, ensuring none of your slick escapes. Your body goes slack as the two of you attempt to catch your breath. You feel Laszlo’s breathing tickle the skin of your back as it slowly returns to normal. He shifts his weight slightly. “This may feel a little odd.” He warns you. He takes hold of your leg and moves it to the other side of him, effectively spinning you around and lying you down with your back to the mattress. You gasp a little at the change in position, his knot still holding deep inside you. “Now this is better.” He remarks, leaning down to kiss your lips. He takes your hands in his own, letting them run down your spent body. “Can you feel how full you are?” He pushes your hands over your abdomen, your fingers skimming over the bulge caused by his knot. “You did so well Omega, letting me fill you up like this.” He leans forward, nuzzling against your neck. “Such a brave Omega.” He coos. His praises and gentle touches soon have you coming back to your senses. Laszlo notices when the haze has cleared from your eyes, and gives you a soft smile.

“Hi.” You whisper.

“Hello.” The two of you stay in each other’s arms for a while, simply enjoying the close proximity to one another. You rub your fingers over his chest, before reaching up to curl them into the hair at the back of his neck.

“Laszlo,” you say softly, tilting your head back to bear your neck to him. “Can I have your mark?” He seems a little taken aback by your request.

“You- you want…”

“To be yours.” You watch his eyes darken slightly, and he claims your lips again. When he pulls away you’re breathless again.

“You’re sure?”

“I’ve never been more sure of anything.” You tell him. “That is, of course, if you want me.”

“Édesem, you are my world.” You both share a tender smile. He cradles the side of your face before tilting your head back. He nuzzles his lips gently against your throat. “With your current level of endorphins you shouldn’t feel too much pain…”

“I love you.” You interrupt him, your smile wide.

“I love you too, drágám.” He presses a soft kiss to the mating gland at your throat, before sinking his teeth down. You clench your teeth, nails digging into the sheets at the sharp sting of your skin breaking. Then, a wave of pleasure rolls through you as your bond snaps into place. You feel Laszlo lapping at the small wound. “All good?” He asks you. You nod with a smile.

“Though, if you bring up that saliva is a natural healing agent I will kick you out of bed.” He chuckles.

“Before I get my own mark. How cruel.” You frown at him.

“What?”

“Alphas also have a mating gland.” You nod, your frown still present,

“I didn’t think- I’ve never seen-“

“Very few Alphas feel the need to wear their mate’s mark. However, I want the world to know I’m yours.” He smiles, watching the primal urge shimmer in your eyes, though he senses your lingering hesitance. “It won’t hurt me, drágám.” Your eyes flicker down to his neck, and he leans closer. “Right here.” He guides you to the spot against his throat. You cup his face carefully, taking a moment to nuzzle against his neck, breathing in his scent. “Don’t be scared Omega. Take what’s yours.” You sink your teeth into his throat, sucking gently at the break of his skin. You feel him shudder against you as your bond strengthens. You trace your tongue carefully along the wound. He leans down to kiss you again, your first kiss as a mated couple. You share a few more slow, loving kisses before Laszlo pulls away. He reaches down towards the bottom of the bed, pulling out a towel and lying it beneath your hips. You frown lightly at him. “Can’t have our nest getting dirty, can we?” Your face morphs into an affectionate smile. Your mate really does think of everything. You whimper when he pulls out, but he rubs your thighs reassuringly and presses kisses over your face. You giggle softly and he beams at you. He ensures the majority of the mess is soaked up by the towel before discarding it. He presses a kiss to your temple, “I’ll be right back Omega.” He’s gone for under thirty seconds, but you both feel the pull of your bond. When it’s fresh like this you can’t be parted for long. He returns with some wet wipes, and begins to clean the two of you up. The coolness soothes you, pushing the heat symptoms even further away. You smile softly at Laszlo and he shares your smile as the two of you spend a moment admiring one another. He throws the wipes away and settles down by your side. You nuzzle against him, purring contentedly. He presses a gentle kiss to your forehead. “Get some sleep drágám.”

•*•*•*•

Early the next morning, Laszlo is stirred from his sleep by some sort of movement at his side. The bedroom is still in semi-darkness, the sun hasn’t quite risen into the sky yet, but there’s enough light to see by. The sight before him warms his heart. You’re adjusting a pillow beside you, tucking it under the quilt to secure the wall of your nest. You have one of his shirts tucked under your arm, and nuzzle into one of the pillows.

“What are you doing, Omega?” He asks, his voice still thick with sleep. He can feel your blush as you mumble,

“Just getting comfortable.” He chuckles softly, pulling himself closer to you. You immediately melt into his arms, your body lying flush against his chest. He trails a hand down your spine, and despite your shiver, he can feel your body heat increasing.

“Ready to go again?” He suggests. You pout, the tiredness behind your eyes creeping up on you despite the slick gathering between your thighs.

“M’ tired.” You mumble against his chest.

“I know you are.” He coos, guiding your hips towards his. “But all you need to do is be a good Omega and keep me warm.” You sigh in relief at the feeling of him filling you, eyes fluttering shut as he continues, his accent thickening. “Yes, that’s all your heat-ridden body’s good for, isn’t it?” He feels you tighten at his words and he groans against your neck. “Don’t worry Omega, I’m going to take such good care of you.”

[atpaftmoom-bily]

Thoughts about Erik, why Wilhelm wasn't allowed to come out, and more.

Be warned, this is long, confusing, and I'm not even sure if I made any valid points. But I had thoughts on Young Royals, with no one to talk to, so here you go.

I've seen various different takes on Erik and what people thought his reaction would have been if Willie had come out to him, most of them being positive, and some as well saying how sad it was that Willie never got to come out to his brother. I have a different take, but bear with me it's gonna take a second to get there.

Something that I found interesting in the first place was that when August found out it was Simon and not a girl, he just seemed shocked, but not in a homophobic way that I had kind of been expecting.

Additionally, let's take a look at the comments on the video, I've split them up into three different groups. General comments (disbelief, surprise, pity, etc.), comments sexualizing them, and negative comments. (I've translated these as well as I could as they were not all captioned, but if I've made a mistake feel free to let me know!)

General Comments "OMG Have you seen this?? The Prince is gay!!!!" "Who's the other guy?" "I'm dead" "Finally some news to put Sweden on the map!" "Poor boys, I feel sorry for them" "So clumsy to get caught on film" "I know where he lives!" "I think the video is fake" "Love for the boys"

Sexualizing Comments "Royal porn" "Sexy" "Love" "Sexiest video ever"

Negative Comments "How will the monarchy survive this?" "The end of the royal family, time for Sweden to become a republic!" "Never been ashamed about being Swedish until now" "Class traitor! Your mother cries for your sins"

Now, there are quite a few things I want to point out about Sweden that I feel should be taken into account here. Of course, we don't know the exact dates that the show took place, but we do know it is modern-day, and though it is a work of fiction, I am going to assume that anything that is currently true in Sweden at the moment, give or take a few years, would also be true in the Young Royals universe.

The first point I would like to make is that Sweden is one of the most LGBT-friendly countries, even being named the most friendly country in 2019. Looking back in history, 1944 was when Sweden decriminalized sexual relationships between consenting adults of the same sex, though it was still thought to be an illness. However, in 1979 it was no longer considered an illness. Fun unrelated fact, but Sweden was the first country to legalize gender change in 1979. (If you'd like to read more on LGBT rights in Sweden here are some resources. One. Two.) If Sweden is that progressive and is that LGBT-friendly, then I wondered what the problem was with Willie coming out, so I dug some more.

I'm American, so my understanding of many parts of the world is unfortunately skewed or incomplete, but I'm working on changing that. However, because of this, one thing that surprised me in my research was that the monarchy in Sweden is more of a unifying symbol than anything else. They have no political affinity or formal powers, but rather "the King’s duties are mainly of a ceremonial and representative nature." Of course in the case of Young Royals, the Queen inherited the throne, and Wilhelm would after her.

Something else I found interesting about the monarchy in Sweden is that the current Queen, Queen Silvia, did not come from a line of nobility, so when Queen Silvia and King Carl Gustaf married in 1976, it was highly unusual. (See more on the Swedish monarchy here.)

There is one last thing I want to point out about the current King and Queen. "In summer 2000, King Carl XVI Gustaf and Queen Silvia of Sweden made history when they ate under the rainbow flag at Djurgårdsterrassen, a Stockholm restaurant owned by gay owner Arto Winter. At that time, the decision was seen as controversial, and played a valuable role in moving conversations forward – while making the royals’ position abundantly clear." (Source)

Now, of course, I understand the difference between a fictional work and real-life situations, but at least in my opinion, these same ideals should carry through to the show that we see. If the King and Queen in real life have been openly supportive of the LGBT community since at least 2000, then although specifics might not be the same, some of those ideals should carry through to Young Royals, so what is the problem, right?

I'm not trying to erase the reality of homophobia altogether, because of course, that exists. We even see in the show through comments that there are some people who are worried about the state of the monarchy, are disgusted, or downright still think that not being straight is a sin, but we also see other comments as well. If Wilhelm were to come out, what would happen? Would there be some backlash? 100%. Would there be people who would support him? Also 100%. Would it make his life harder? Probably, but would he be happier? In my opinion, yes, but I guess that's a question that Wilhelm would have to gauge on his own.

Now I want to look deeper at the conversation that Wille has with his mother, the Queen, in the car on the way home so he can give a statement to the media. Below is an excerpt from their dialogue.

---

Wilhelm: Why can't I just have a relationship with him? And not say anything. Just live a normal life.

Queen: You're the crown prince. And that's a privilege, not a punishment.

Wilhelm: Yes, but I didn't ask for this!

Queen: Well, nobody has ever, ever asked for this! You are the only one who can take over the throne after Erik. Don't you understand that? You are so young. When you're young, love feels like the most important thing in the whole world. When I was your age, I too had an unfortunate romance. That was before I met your father. What I mean is, is it worth it? If you feel that the attention you've been getting so far is unacceptable, it's nothing compared to what you will endure for the rest of your life. We have a chance to cover this up, I urge you to take that chance. You may not get another."

---

Something I find interesting is how much Willie just wants to live a normal life, which I get. He is under so much pressure, from being a role model, his brother's death that he hasn't even had time to process, preparing to be king someday, and (kind of) being outed to the entire world, but at least his school. It's enough to make anyone want to live normally. I think the biggest thing we have to think about here is the Queen's question as well. Is it worth it? She is right of course, the attention he will get will always be there, but I do think that Willie would be able to find a way to be happy along with being King. It shouldn't have to be a case of either-or, and ultimately I don't think it is.

Now I'm going to move back to Erik, and really, this ties everything back to the start where I mentioned I had a different take on Erik's reaction to Willie being not straight. I think that Erik already knew. It would make sense for a variety of reasons. In the show, it is obvious that the two of them have a good relationship. We also hear Erik tell Willie, "you can trust him, he's like a brother," in episode one when speaking about August, showing that trust is something strong between them as brothers. I'm not exactly sure how old Wilhelm is meant to be in the show, but I estimate somewhere around sixteen. I would like to assume that sometime before attending Hillerska, he may have had a crush or felt some attraction to a guy. We also can see from their phone call in episode three, that they're not afraid to joke around with each other about such things, meaning that Erik would most likely be the first person that Willie would go to about such things.

Another thing that makes me believe Erik already knew has to do with people assuming that Simon is the first guy that Willie has liked. Now, I know things are not the same for everyone, but if we consider what happens when the video is posted, and Willie had to deny it is him, we can conclude that being anything other than straight in their family is not okay, simply because they are royals, and the media attention will be too much. Imagine you've known your whole life, you can't be something, the first instance you encounter that, you're probably not going to give in right away. I'm talking at least some minor internalized homophobia here or something.

So put that into the context of Simon and Willie's first kiss in episode two. Simon kisses Willie twice before Willie says "Well, I'm not... I'm not... Stop! Wait, wait, wait!" and immediately pulls Simon back towards him. Let's reflect back to episode one where Willie says "I’m not… I’m not allowed to speak about political issues." I'm not allowed. Of course, there are TONS of restrictions on what he can and can not do, kissing guys, probably being one of them. But if he was going to say I'm not gay or I'm not like that, why would he instantly pull him back in, contrasting what he was just going to say. In episode three, Willie does say, "I'm not like that," which makes sense. He's had time to think and isn't in the heat of the moment. What other explanation can he give? Sure, he could say he's not allowed to be like that but saying that would admit that he is. It's a circle, a very messy circle, but it is a... loop.

Going back to what I'm supposed to be talking about here, Erik. This isn't Willie's first rodeo, but Erik was there for the first. One last thing I want to talk about is the phone call that Erik and Willie have in episode three. Below is an excerpt from their dialogue.

---

Erik: You've met someone.

Wilhelm: I, uh... Yes, okay, but I... I don't think we're a couple or anything. I don't know what it is but can we just...

Erik: I get it. I get it. You don't have to tell me any... I don't wanna hear any details. Hey. Willie, enjoy yourself. Soon enough people will start having opinions and-

Wilhelm: They don't care about me. 'Cause you're the Crown Prince that they have opinions.

Erik: I don't get it. Why are you sitting in your room sulking when you have a crush to hang out with?

---

Firstly, Erik refers to Willie's crush as completely gender-neutral. "You've met someone" could very easily be "you've met a girl". The same goes for "you have a crush to hang out with". Very well could have been "you have a girl to hang out with". Sure, it could be completely coincidental, but we live in such a heteronormative society that it would just make sense for Erik to use female-gendered words. Unless, of course, he knew.

Secondly, "Hey. Willie, enjoy yourself. Soon enough people will start having opinions". This sounds very much to me like, enjoy your time while you can be yourself without backlash because soon you won't have that privacy. While I feel that, yes, the same may happen with anyone Willie was to date, him having a same-sex partner multiplies that, by a lot.

In conclusion, Erik knew Willie was not straight, Willie should come out, but when he is ready, and August is a really deep character that people don't give enough credit to. Gosh, I hope I covered everything, I probably forgot so much, but it's fine. Please let me know your thoughts if you've made it this far into the post.

One last thing. I hope you'll notice how in this post, I never referred specifically to Wilhelm's sexuality, and I did that for a reason. I often see gay used to label him, and though I am unsure if that's being used as an umbrella term or specifically as in he only likes men, I think it's really important to realize that they're specifically making him unlabeled. In this youtube video Edvin Ryding, the actor who plays Wilhelm, says "What we're trying to do... We're not labeling Wilhelm's sexuality. I think that's good because it's like, it portrays that it's okay that way too. You don't have to. You shouldn't have to come out. It should be allowed to be a bit fluid, a bit out there." I just think that it is important as it's another type of representation that is not seen often.

[baya-ni]

The Queer Appeal of Sk8

Recently @mulberrymelancholy reblogged a post of mine with a truly galaxy brain take about how Sk8 “is a show made for queer fans” and generally how sports anime often depicts love and relationships in a way that’s more accessible and relatable to ace/arospec people than other mainstream media does.

Just, *chef’s kiss* fucking brilliant. I urge you to read their post here (note I’m referring to the reblog not the actual post).

And basically, it got me thinking about this concept of Sk8 as a Queer Show, and the kinds of stories and dynamics that tend to attract queer audiences in droves, regardless of whether its queerness is made explicit or hell, whether that queerness was intended.

And that’s what I’ve been pondering: What are the cues, markers, or coding, in Sk8 that set off the community’s collective gaydar?

I obviously can’t speak for the community. So here’s what aspects of the show intrigued me and what, for me, marks Sk8 as a Queer Show beyond the subtextual queer romances: a punk/alternative aesthetic, Found Family, Shadow as a drag persona, and The Hands.

1.) The Punk Aesthetic

All three of the above screenshots are taken from Ep 1, and every single one of them depicts background characters. They’re nameless and ultimately unimportant characters, yet each of them designed so distinctly and so unique from one another, one could mistake each of them for the main character(s) of another story.

Of what little I know about Punk subculture, I do know this: that the ethos of Punk is heavily built around a celebration of individuality and non-conformity. Sk8 seems to have incorporated this ethos into the very fabric its worldbuilding, and the aesthetics and culture upon which it takes inspiration appeals specifically to a queer audience.

I don’t really need to explain why Punk has such deep ties with the queer community. For decades, queer people have found community and acceptance within punk spaces, and punk ideology is something that I think is just ingrained in the queer consciousness as both lived experience and a survival tactic.

Therefore, a show that adopts punk aesthetics is, by association, already paying homage to Queer culture, intentional or not.

Queer fans notice this- like recognizes like.

2.) Found Family

This also needs little explanation.

Too often, queer individuals cannot rely on their “born into” families for support and acceptance. Too often, we are abused, neglected, and abandoned by those who we were taught would “always be there for us.”

And so, a universal experience for queer people has been redefining the meaning of Family, having to build our families from scratch, finding brothers, sisters, mothers, and fathers in people with whom we have no blood relation, and forming communities tied together by shared lived experience rather than shared genetics.

And this idea of Found Family is also built into Sk8′s narrative.

Like, for example, the way that Reki promises MIYA that he and Langa will “never disappear from [his] sight,” filling the void that MIYA felt after his friends abandoned him.

And in the way that JOE becomes a paternal figure for Reki, teaching him ways to improve in skateboarding, and ensuring that Reki doesn’t self isolate when he’s feeling insecure.

And in the whole Ep 6 business with Hiromi acting as babysitter to the Gang.

Hell, even ADAM (derogatory) is associated with this trope. Abused as a child, he finds solace in an underground skateboarding community and culture he helped create- his own found family (or some powertrippy version of it anyway).

Again, queer fans see themselves depicted in the show, but this time in the way that the show gives importance to Found Family relationships between its characters.

3.) Shadow and Drag

This is one that’s more of an association that I personally made. But I was intrigued by the way that Hiromi adopts his SHADOW persona. He wears SHADOW like a mask, and adopts a personality seemingly so opposite to his day-to-day behavior.

Further, the theatricality and general “gender fuckery” of his SHADOW persona, to me, just seemed so similar to a the characteristics of a drag persona (I don’t know a whole lot about drag but enough that I’m drawing superficial similarities).

There’s also this aspect of a “double life” that he, and actually all the other adult characters of the show, have to adopt, which is a way of living that I’m sure a lot of queer viewers see themselves reflected in.

4.) The Hands

Ohhhh the Hands.

One of the things I noticed very early on is the way the show constantly draws our attention to Reki’s hands, which I thought was a little strange for an anime about skating. After all, skating doesn’t really involve the hands, or at least the show doesn’t really draw attention to hands within the context of skating.

I count 3 times so far between Eps 1-9 in which hands are the focus of the frame.

First, when Reki teaches Langa how to fist pump after Langa lands his first ollie, second, when Reki and Langa make their Promise, and finally, when Langa saves Reki from falling off his board.

And you know what they say, twice is a coincidence but thrice is a motif (no one else actually says this I think I’m the only one who says this lol).

I’m not really certain why hands seem to be such a shared fixation among queer people (at least among those I interact with). All I know is that gay people are just fucking obsessed with them.

I have a Theory as to why, and at this point I’d love for other people to chime in and “compare notes” if you will, but I think it basically has to do with repression. And in the same way that queer people have had to redefine the meaning of family, we’ve also had to redefine intimacy.

Being overtly physically affectionate with someone of the same sex, even if they’re your significant other, or often specifically BECAUSE they’re your significant other, can still be dangerous, even now despite the “progression” of society. Queer people know this, this vigilant surveillance of our environment and ourselves, always asking ourselves, “Am I safe enough to be myself?”

Already, Western culture is pretty touch-averse. That is, it’s considered taboo to touch someone unless they’re a family member or a romantic partner. And to touch a person of the same sex in any way that could be misconstrued as romantic (which is most things tbh) is a big no no.

There’s just A Lot to unpack there.

But basically I think that queer people, by necessity, have had to learn to romanticize mundane or unconventional ways of being physically intimate so that we can continue to be romantic with one another without “being caught” so to speak.

Kissing and hugging is too obvious. But a handshake that lingers for just a second too long is much more likely to go unnoticed, braiding someone’s hair can easily be explained away as just lending a helping hand, touching palms to “compare hand sizes” is just good fun.

But for queer people, these brief and seemingly insignificant touches hold greater meaning, because it’s all we are allowed, and all we allow ourselves, to exchange with others.

God, I’ve gone off and rambled again. What’s my point? Basically that the way the show draws attention to Reki’s hands, and specifically how they’re so often framed with Langa’s hands, is one of the major reasons why I clocked Sk8 as a Queer. It’s just something that resonated with me and my own experience of queerness, and I know that I’m not the only one who noticed either.

~

So in conclusion, uhhhh yeah Sk8 the Infinity is just a super gay show, and it’s not even because of the homo-romantic subtext (that at this point is really just Text).

Because what’s important to understand is that Queerness isn’t just about same-sex romance.

Queer Love isn’t just shared between wives/girlfriends, husbands/boyfriends, and all their in-betweens. Queer Love can be two best friends who come out together, queer siblings who rely and support one another, a gay teacher who helps guide one of their questioning students, a queer community pitching in to help a struggling member.

And that all ties with another important thing to consider, that what we refer to as the “queer experience” or “queer culture” isn’t universal. In fact, it wrongly lumps together the unique experiences and struggles of queer BIPOC all under one umbrella that’s primary White and middle class.

So I think what drives a lot of my frustration about labeling a show like Sk8 as Queerbait is this very issue of considering queerness and queer representation within such narrow standards, and mandating that a show must pass a certain threshold of explicit queerness to be considered good representation.

I get that someone might only feel represented by an indisputable canonization of a same-sex couple. That’s fine. But labeling Sk8 as Queerbait for that reason alone ignores the vast array of other queer experiences.

The aspects of Sk8 that resonate most deeply with my own experiences of queerness is in the way that Reki and Langa share intimacy through skating (intricate rituals heyo). For me, them officially getting together ultimately doesn’t matter- I’ll consider Sk8 a Queer show regardless.

Similarly, @mulberrymelancholy​ finds ace/arospec representation in that very absence of an on-screen kiss. A bisexual man might find representation in Reki, not because he enters a canon relationship, but in the depiction of Reki’s coming of age, growing up and navigating adolescent relationships. A non-binary person might feel represented through CHERRY’s androgyny.

That’s the thing, I don’t know how this show will resonate with other members of the queer community, and it’d be wrong to make a judgement on Sk8′s queer representation based on my experiences alone.

That being said, Straight people definitely don’t get to judge Sk8 as Queerbait. Y’all can watch and enjoy the show, we WANT you to enjoy these kinds of shows, and we want you to share these shows and contribute to the normalization and celebration of these kinds of narratives.

But understand that you don’t have a right to tell us whether or not Sk8 has good or bad queer representation.

And even members of the queer community are on thin ice. Your experience of queerness is not universal. Listen to the other members of your community, and respect that what you might find lacking in this show may be the exact representation that someone else needs.

[nerdygaymormon]

uhhhh david have you gotten the liahona yet bc idk how to feel about an article i found in there yesterday. it was pretty comforting and basic, but did use ssa the whole time. BUT the youth one was pretty crappy, it used ssa to the max and gave no real hope, was pretty bland and annoying about oh itll be find just believe and jesus and get hatecrimed <3 i would like to hear your thoughts on it, its the first time ive seen any queer topics in church magazines

Thanks for bringing these to my attention.

"Same-sex attraction" (SSA) is the preferred term of Church leaders. They say it's a way of not making it your identity, that this isn't part of who I am but rather is something I'm dealing with. In other words, people "have" same-sex attraction, not that they "are" gay or lesbian or bi.

There have been a few leaks from behind-the-scenes where the apostles say they use "same-sex attraction" because it's the term that people like least. People like it less that same-gender attraction or gay/lesbian. SSA includes the word "sex" and I guess the idea is it gets people to think of sexual acts and feel queasy.

SSA is the term normally used in Church magazines because they follow the lead of the First Presidency and apostles.

There's 3 items in the Church magazines this month about queer people! That's a lot for one month.

————————————————————

The first is a bishop talking about how to understand and include LGBT people at church. After becoming bishop, 3 sets of parents contacted him distressed that their child is gay or transgender (I note that the parents used "gay." He also mentions contacting someone who 'identifies as gay").

His first recommendation is to follow the living apostles. (which explains why the bishop uses "SSA" even though everyone else around him used "gay"). It's a good idea for a local leader to find what the current leaders are saying because it's changed. He also says to read the Church's websites titled “Same-Sex Attraction” and “Transgender.” He provides two lovely quotes from those pages about diversity at church and being loving to people who are different.

His second recommendation is to not be afraid to talk to people who identify as gay, but instead try to have love for them and then let the Spirit guide you in what to say. We're just people, it shouldn't be scary to talk to us, that shows how different he thinks we are from the other people he interacts with in his ward.

The bishop's third suggestion is to speak to people who are familiar with LGBT "issues," share your testimony, and apologize for hurtful things you say. His list of people to contact for help understanding was a little disheartening because he starts with his stake leaders, ward leaders, other bishops, and so on, actual queer people were the last people on his list.

He continues by saying to pull aside members who are saying homophobic or transphobic things and give them some personal guidance, don't share private information that a member shares with the bishop, and just because someone has these "attractions" doesn't mean they're acting on them, and if they aren't "acting" on them then you can let them have a calling.

I have a few comments about the last few things. If no one corrects the homophobic/transphobic comments in public but instead privately suggests the person do better, every one who heard those comments thinks they stand unchallenged. The atmosphere created by the comments is unchanged. Especially if the bishop was present to hear those words, if they go uncontested then people think this is what is acceptable.

You'd think bishops know not to share private information a member shares with them. I've been around long enough to know that when a bishop is unsure what to do, he starts contacting his network (stake presidency, other bishops) asking for advice. Some bishops are discreet when doing this and others name the individuals.

While it seems basic, I recently had a counselor in a bishopric who didn't think gay people could get a temple recommend, that there's a zero-tolerance policy. That is an attitude that is outdated by a couple of decades, but it shows that people need to learn that simply existing as a gay or trans person doesn't automatically mean we are committing great sins.

I do find it interesting there appears to have been quite a few queer individuals in his ward, at least 4 or 5, and reading between the lines it seems they all stopped attending.

The bishop's heart is in the right place. I get he's following the Church leaders and that limits some of what he can do for queer people in his ward. I think his perspective primarily is of making the parents feel more welcome in the ward and not ostracized for having queer kids.

————————————————————

The second article in the Liahona is written by a person with same-sex attraction and his work to overcome the shame he felt.

It's a much better article than the one written by the bishop. This person shares about the shame they felt at having gay feelings and working with a therapist to overcome that shame. He shares 3 lessons that helped him with this process.

1) God and Jesus love and accept him as he is. This is a message that doesn't often get conveyed to queer members and it's important they know this.

2) The Atonement of Jesus Christ offers healing. At first he was wanting the Atonement to cure him of being gay, but instead it helped him be healed of the shame he felt. I hear so many members who think the Atonement can change us from gay to straight, and that's not true. I'm glad he made this distinction. Our Heavenly Parents don't view being gay or trans as something that needs to be cured. I wish that message was taught more openly in the Church.

3) Build deeper connections and show compassion. Loneliness and feeling like you don't belong at church are two of the most troubling aspects an LGBTQ+ person has to deal with if they are active in the LDS Church. Developing close friendships will help with that. Also, queer people tend to be more compassionate than the average person and I believe it's because of the experiences we had to deal with of living in a heteronormative world that isn't made for us.

He includes a few useful tips at the end on how to engage with queer people.

All in all, a much better story than the one written by the bishop. He shared part of how it feels to be a gay member of this church, the idea that he should be ashamed for who he is, that being gay isn’t a burden, that he doesn't fit in.

I appreciated he said this is part of his layers of identity and at the core of his identity is that we're children of heavenly parents. That's more nuanced than the apostles who reject being gay has anything to do with identity and our only identity should be a child of God.

————————————————————

The final story is from For the Strength of Youth. This piece seems like it's written by a queer person, but it's anonymous and given as general advice to show that people with same-sex attraction belong at church.

This article makes 3 main points. The first is that God loves you. That's true, although accompanying quotes to back up this principle aren't specifically about queer people.

The second point is "you belong." All sorts of people attend church, and God is no respecter of persons. Then they have a quote from Elder L. Whitney Clayton that people with same-sex attraction are welcome to come to church. To me, he's an odd choice to give this message as he led the Church's fight in California on Prop 8 to make gay marriage illegal again. Words aren't enough. Saying I'm welcome is not the same as making a welcoming climate.

The third point is that God will help you. They include a quote from Laura F. who experiences same-sex attraction. She writes about prayer, scripture study, temple and church attendance. However, she also says she doesn't know what her life will look like in 20 years, she seems to be leaving open the possibility her journey with God will lead her to romance and out of the church. I thought that was very honest and important.

————————————————————

I found it noteworthy that nowhere in these 3 articles does it say being alone and celibate is good and what God wants.

I appreciate the idea that we can make our local congregations less homophobic/transphobic. The suggestions from the bishops shows that the bar is pretty low and it doesn't take much to make an improvement from how things are now.

The voices of the two gay members was important, what they shared was useful but nuanced, didn't make commitments to staying in the church long-term or testify that what the church requires is what God wants for them.

Even so, it's clear the publisher is very careful. They use "same-sex attraction" so often, I think readers would be surprised the preferred term of most same-sex attracted people would be gay, bi or lesbian. While they addressed some things, like homophobic/transphobic comments, feeling shame & not fitting in, I think they largely skated past the things that make queer people decide that this church isn't for them.

There's a part of me that says I'm glad we're having this conversation in the Church magazines, but another part that says this is too sanitized and doesn't get at the heart of things. These are very hopeful messages that make it seem that queer people could easily choose to stay in church if a few adjustments were made and if they only understood God loves them, which avoids the "doctrine" that excludes queer people from the highest blessings and joys and makes us essentially second-class citizens in the kingdom of God, at least according to our church.

[ninjakitten1699]

More Oni headcanons that I wanted to add on

to @ambrosial-tea post but I forgot until now!

There are different tribes of Oni as stated in the last post. Aka Oni (Red), Ao Oni (Blue), Shiro Oni (Pale/White), and our Kuro Oni (Black/Dark).

We don’t know too much of the Dark Oni we got but we do know that Oni were originally intended to be guardians between Material Plane and Spirit World when the two began overlapping (possibly The Grasslands/Departed, and Cursed Realm before they began separating). Put a tribe of Oni on the Material Plane for a couple years and they’d splinter into subraces of Oni and become more corrupted by the years. Dark Oni became one of the tribes corrupted.

Aka Oni are the most common type of Oni with their dark red colors, large size, and toughness. They’re slightly bigger than the rest of their kin, more violent, unfocused, and pursue immediate satisfaction, disregarding long drawn out plots and schemes. They’re mostly known for strength too.

Ao Oni are known for their unnatural cunning and aptitude for magic, smaller than their red kin but larger than pale, and have different shades of dark blue. They’re the ones you’d catch calculating and meticulously pursuing lofty goals like power and knowledge.

Shiro Oni are known for their aloofness and connections to the spirit realm. They’re the smallest of the main three tribes and the fewest of members. They vary from pale white to light gray. (They may as well adopt other Oni who share their colors and hopefully teach them their ideals.) Pale Oni would rather keep things in balance between the material plane and spirit world as the ancient Oni intended. They guard their locations but will adventure for artifacts of the spirit world and mend balance. If we take that into account perhaps they are another reason why Realm travel is difficult to Oni who try to cross through the any of the realms involving afterlives.

While Oni have no concept of gender since they have both reproductive organs, they also have no concept of sexualities either. Honestly they just didn’t have a name for it when one didn’t feel the need to have sex or when another felt more attracted to the same sex aspects of their partner. (If anything, their type of relationships or way of thinking would be looked up upon because they felt closer to their spirituality and their true selves.) Again they sometimes don’t mate for reproduction but just for the vibes of their partner.

They probably didn’t have a name for having multiple partners at the time either. If one Oni wanted to be a part of what the other two had and they were content with the feel of them, then it was okay. Plus more hands to help raise the cub personally. (Essentially that’s what PolyGarm would basically be. They make Garm happy, they’re happy with him, and Lloyd would basically have more than two parents. At this point Lloyd would just have more dads and Koko is just the one good mom he deserves.)

The second Oni learn what kisses are and how they work, they find it just as addictive as they do with other acts of affection.

Oni are more closer to their family than they are to strangers because in most Oni’s belief, strangers brought suffering to the family. In turn they displayed their family’s name first before their own, showing pride in them and hoping to intimidate any strangers with ill intent towards them.

Speaking of Oni names, they don’t usually have any but when they do their names would be what positive traits the parents wish the child to take on. For example, a son could have “Akihiko”. “Aki” meaning “bright” and “hiko” meaning “boy/prince”. They could want him to be someone brighter than they ever hoped for. For a daughter, “Asuna” with “asu” meaning “tomorrow” and “na” to “greens” or “apple tree”. Maybe the parents are hoping the Oni daughter would lead them to a more plentiful day. And then there’s the family names. The most famous ones are “Hideyoshi” and “Ishikawa”. We’ve heard of these names and the history behind them, I wouldn’t want to come across any of their descendants that carry their name with honor.

Ironically “Harumi” is actually a name for a female Oni in some home brewing lore. One of her meanings is “govern/rule” and “beauty”. Goes to show how far she would take her name literally.

Shiro Oni/Pale Oni don’t have names, but it’s because they don’t want to be too close to the material plane while they guard the spirit realms. They would refer to themselves and each other as “that/this one” instead like how gargoyles in the old days would. If they come up with names, it’s for the sake of working with others on the material plane, but even then it only happens when they really trust the people around them.

Oni have a large appetite that could put the Pythor and the Anacondrai to shame. They could honestly compete against the Great Devourer and other wyrms.

An Oni’s pair of horns are a sign of honor. No pair of horns are alike, not even the closest siblings’ horns look the same. They all have their differences. Their horn length is their pride. Having them sawed off is quite literally shameful to the owner of them but they did do something to deserve it.

It’s possible that some Oni were confused at Garm’s horns not being there at first but they hear about the first time they grew out of his head he quite literally broke them off and bled for a good long while to the point of passing out. (Blood vessels actually go throughout the antlers/horns in animals which is why they aren’t busted right off easily. Why wouldn’t they to Oni horns?) Come to find out it was the FSM’s hate for Oni that made Garm hate himself and how he looked so Garm had them filed down to his scalp or small enough to hide in his hair. It honestly almost hurts the Oni’s look on the FSM even more but hey who hasn’t he hurt? It takes a couple more decades and some therapy before he finally let’s go of his internalized self hatred and trauma that he grows out his horns and finally has pride in himself like most Oni already do.

So it’s not uncommon for Oni to live among other races, whether secretly or not, due to their shapeshifting abilities, however sometimes they’re immediately shunned when their true form slips out. Unless they proved otherwise to the most accepting of inhabitants, they’re allowed to stay. By then they’d have a hybrid appearance with their horns out, either out of their kindness to ease the others’ fear of them or for their own personal benefit.

Oni that do live on their own choose to live in the wilderness or in the mountains. If living in society but still wanting some sort of solitude, they’d either be closer to the outskirts or deep in the downtown where you’d either have to ask directions to specific people to find them or already know where they are. Hence Mistaké with her small tea shop and Wu being able find her.

As stated before Oni have no problems with Half-Oni at all. They’re just welcoming another cub into the pack and it’s just the fact that they are a child of an Oni who fell in love with another humanoid. Although there are some cases of Oni being chased out by the other race with their cub in their arms and they just run until they find the closest tribe. They’d be welcomed into the tribe and the cub is basically adopted by them.

Again half Oni isn’t a problem to them, but they do have a problem with any particular wizards experimenting on Oni breeding with any other humanoids. The know it’s not the parents’ fault neither is the cub’s. If neither parent want nothing to do with them, then the half Oni cub is taken off of their hands by another Oni who was grieving at a loss of a cub (or the realization they couldn’t have any) or a pairing who wouldn’t mind another. The cub won’t have a terrible environment, the parents won’t have to unwillingly interact with the child until they resolve their own issues or they wish to visit and see them grow.

Meanwhile, those wizards will never know peace again until the day they die, even other tribes, who they could be at war with, will catch wind of what happen and help in taking them out. By the time those wizards die, even the Pale Oni who have no ties with Omega or any other tribes won’t be forgiving to them. They won’t do anything too harmful to them, but they will lead them to the terrible part of the Cursed Realm and those wizards proceed to stay there until they fade out of existence entirely.

Enough angst there and let’s go back to fluff. I bet Oni would love dice. Like not even for games but for the click-clack sound. (“Lloyd. They’re metal dice. You cannot have—.” “Shiny sparkly metal bits make pretty sounds! :D” “Garmadon please tell your son not— Not you too!” “Wha~ It does sound pretty.”)

Y’all know how like adult lions play with their babies? They pretend to be hurt and that the cub is super strong to help build up their confidence. Hear me out, Oni do that too. Big goddamn Omega really be taking hits from tiny little cubs, Mistaké be playing with little Garmadon and playing dead on him, then Garm just does the same thing for little Lloyd. (“Koko, sweetie, help. It’s the battle of the century in here. Help, save me. He’s too powerful!” “*tiny war cry*”)

Someone makes a baby Oni cry one time and boy it’s absolutely over. It’s on sight for that person. I’m telling you On Sight!

Oni can purr loud enough to the point where it rumbles in them like a motor and that’s how cubs feel their parents’ purring. Then there’s baby Oni just babbling and the adult Oni just pretend to have a whole conversation with them. Don’t get me started on them playing soft flute music to help the toddler Oni sleep.

We probably only got a few words out of Omega when they first appeared because we were hearing them through human ears. Lloyd’s Oni brain would click on and translates what he knows while Garm in full Oni form can get full sentences out of Omega.

Oni are willing to learn a different language if it helps others understand them and their intentions. Now let’s just think of Lloyd connecting to his Oni side of the family (since let’s face it, the Oni are going to be around longer than most of his friends are) through teaching them sign language.

They also try to teach him their Oni tongue but he can only grasp a few words at a time easily. When he finally learns the language, next thing you know he’s going to be cursing and only Oni will understand. Some (aka Mistaké) want to scold him and others (*cough*Garmadon*cough*) find it hilarious.

Garmadon’s Oni-Dragon hybrid brain wants him to decorate his significant others and now I think of Oni just sharing the precious items they hoard with their mate. Wait till they figure out they can make jewelry and have their significant other wear it.