#tw internal monologue

[raincamp]

splitting on someone and then splitting back but loathing yourself because how dare you think any thoughts even implying that theyre not an amazing perfect human being what were you thinking they can't do anything wrong!! its shameful that you would have thoughts like that. oh they cant read your mind?? oh well they might as well have, they don't deserve to have to deal with your bullshit mental illness you should block them you shouldn't be in their life anymore you're a constant burden on them no wonder they abandoned you. why were you even mad at them in the first place?? its totally reasonable that they would leave you. with your issues?? pfft yeah you're basically destined to be alone forever.

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Autistic Internal Monologues

Neurodivergent_lou

[erikasnothungry]

wdym your w3ight is in the triple digits...

[itsthislake]

Shen Yuan transmigrated as a Spirit Cat AU (part 2)

First chapter.

---

The rest of the examination, all dutifully narrated by Mu Qingfang, passed in something of a blur comprised mostly of internal screaming and a great deal of cursing, and he only came back to reality when he was picked up by a pair of warm hands.

Shen Yuan flinched and looked up at the man who could only be Liu Qingge, the War God of Bai Zhan and older brother of Best Wife, Liu Mingyan. Living proof that this was a time before the protagonist joined Qing Jing Peak.

Liu Qingge died by Shen Qingqiu’s hand sometime around then, after all.

“Come on,” he said, easily settling Shen Yuan on the crook of his arm and starting to walk like this was an established routine of many years instead of something that had happened twice so far and once under duress.

Distracted as he was, Shen Yuan didn’t bother to question it until they were already flying on— on Cheng Luan again. This sword was as cool as he had imagined, now that he looked at it properly. He smacked Liu Qingge’s arm with his paw until he got his attention, then meowed in question.

Liu Qingge stared for a second before seemingly realizing what he was asking.

“We’re going to see the sect leader, Yue Qingyuan,” he explained. “I need to give him my mission report. And inform him of your presence on the mountain.”

“Meow?”

“Cang Qiong has a rule about bringing in any Spirit Cats that we find. For protection,” Liu Qingge clarified, giving him an unreadable look. “There aren’t many left, so Spirit Cats sell high in many circles. None that our sect supports, of course.”

Huh. Shen Yuan hadn’t known that, even after jogging his memory post realizing which world this is.

He remembered Colored Claw Spirit Cats being mentioned in one of the later chapters of PIDW, something about how they had all gone extinct because of human greed and whatnot. He thinks it might have been wife #629 who complained about how tragic it was to Luo Binghe before the protagonist comforted her with his tried-and-true heavenly pillar. In hindsight, that was probably the last bit of actual worldbuilding Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky had given them before deciding to write terrible papapa and needlessly convoluted harem shenanigans for the next sixty or so chapters before the end of the novel.

What Shen Yuan hadn’t known, however, was that Cang Qiong Mountain Sect actively rescued and protected Spirit Cats. Of course, with the sect long since destroyed and most of the Peak Lords dead or integrated into the harem and promptly abandoned, there was no reason whatsoever for that to come up at that point in the novel.

Regardless, it was an interesting detail of this world, as well as an incredibly convenient fact for him now.

“Liu Qingge,” Liu Qingge said abruptly. Shen Yuan blinked at him, watching the red slowly creep up his ears with slight fascination. Woah. He even blushed prettily, how unfair. “My name. It’s Liu Qingge. I realized I didn’t introduce myself earlier.”

Oh, that was very polite of him. Which was a little strange coming from the guy who chased him through a village for almost four hours earlier that day and who he just saw kick his shidi’s office door in for no real reason. Shen Yuan huffed, then rubbed his face on the man’s arm, purring pleasantly.

“Hmm. Do you have a name?”

“Meow!”

“I see.”

What do you see? Shen Yuan wanted to ask, genuinely confused as to what Liu Qingge thought he understood. Alas, for lack of the vocal cords necessary for human speech, he just settled back down instead and decided to enjoy the ride.

Flying was kind of fun, he was learning.

---

Yue Qingyuan met Shen Yuan’s sudden presence on his mountain with a not inconsiderable amount of polite confusion.

Then, after Liu Qingge explained the situation, including the results of Mu Qingfang’s examination that Shen Yuan had missed almost entirely and was thus glad to hear summarized now, the sect leader just rolled with it with as much grace as his character in the novel took anything unrelated to Shen Qingqiu.

So far, Shen Yuan’s first impression of the sect leader was very much in line with what he already knew from PIDW.

Afterwards, Yue Qingyuan helpfully elaborated on Cang Qiong’s policy on Spirit Cats that Liu Qingge had mentioned earlier. Apparently, the claws of adult Spirit Cats sold very high among a significant number of cultivator circles because of their special properties, and the declawed creatures were usually sold as ‘exotic pets’ to nobles, where they would inevitably die from either improper care or health issues brought on by the loss of their claws. If caught by the wrong people, young Spirit Cats like himself would most likely be caged and tortured to quicken the awakening of their special abilities.

Because of this massive traffic that was both somehow legal and absolutely horrid to think about, the number of Spirit Cats left had been on the decline for many decades now, and none had reached a point in their cultivation where they could take a human form in over three centuries, as far as anyone was aware.

Cang Qiong Mountain Sect, as well as a number of other sects, strictly forbade the abuse of Spirit Cats and the use of their claws to further their cultivation, as well as offered sanctuary for any that they found in the wild or rescued.

“It has been many years since the last time a Spirit Cat resided in Cang Qiong,” Yue Qingyuan said regretfully, tone somber. “When this lord was still head disciple, he had the privilege to meet with one. Master Zhou’s meridians had unfortunately been crippled before he came to our sect, so he never managed to cultivate to a human form despite achieving immortality. This one was told that he was the youngest of a trio of siblings who were rescued together, but that his older sisters had already been declawed and thus did not manage to survive long even in our care. Lan Qingyi, the current Lord of the Shan Shou Peak, was the one who took care of Master Zhou during his final years.”

Listening to Yue Qingyuan’s recounting felt like a bucket of cold water had been dropped on him. All the terrible, horrible things that had made PIDW’s worldbuilding engaging were now real. It was his reality, and that of the people who were here now and had been here before him. The reality of Master Zhou who in the end was unable to reach Ascension, of his sisters who suffered so much and died long before their time. It caused Shen Yuan’s fur to stand on end as he listened to the sect leader speak.

However.

It also felt a little bit like hope. Because, see, for every trafficker out there, for every cruel bastard out to get his kind, there was also a person willing to protect them. Willing to give Spirit Cats a place where they could grow and live peacefully. 

And those people were here, in Cang Qiong Mountain Sect, offering him that help now as well.

Huan Hua Palace, on the other hand, was perfectly fine with capturing Spirit Cats and using them as they saw fit. There were even rumors that the Old Palace Master had kept one or two declawed Spirit Cats as pets not so long ago.

Needless to say, Shen Yuan had dodged a massive bullet there. It was nothing short of a miracle that Liu Qingge was the one the villagers asked for help and not a cultivator from Huan Hua Palace, seeing as it was literally their territory.

Shen Yuan had seen Huan Hua Palace disciples flying around, for fuck’s sake.

Liu Qingge’s other hand had come up to rest lightly on top of him at some point during the story and Shen Yuan silently leaned into it, rubbing his cheek against his palm in an instinctual, soothing motion as he tried to burrow his body deeper into the crook of his arm.

“This conversation has taken a dark turn, my apologies,” said Yue Qingyuan softly, when the silent became too heavy. “I’m afraid that this topic is not one that can be avoided for long and it is better to be aware of the dangers sooner rather than later. This master would like to formally extend Cang Qiong Mountain Sect’s protection to the esteemed spirit, as well as an invitation to stay here for however long he wishes.”

Shen Yuan meowed quietly in agreement, and watched as the sect leader smiled gently at him. Then the man nodded, reaching for a brush and some paper.

“We’ll need to record your arrival and arrange everything for your stay,” he informed them. Even if the heavy thoughts lingered in his mind, for now the dark atmosphere seemed to have lifted as they moved onto another topic, for which Shen Yuan was grateful.

Yue Qingyuan paused, as if only now remembering something, and looked up at them curiously.

“Ah. We require a name for the paperwork. Since it was Liu-shidi who found and brought him to the sect, perhaps he could name the esteemed spirit as well?”

Without a moment of hesitation, Liu Qingge shook his head.

“He already has a name,” he informed solemnly.

“Oh?” Yue Qingyuan raised his eyebrows, looking expectantly at him. Shen Yuan also stared, wondering what he would answer. He obviously never told him his name and he was certain that the War God couldn’t read minds.

(Well. Mostly certain, anyway. Great Master Airplane was hardly reliable when it came to developing characters who weren’t wives or Luo Binghe past a certain point in the novel, or any characters at all past another point just slightly ahead in the novel, and Shen Yuan wouldn’t be surprised if he’d somehow forgotten to mention such an important aspect of this awesome character that he’d killed off-screen.

Would he be angry? Of course. Disappointed by the wasted potential? Most definitely. But surprised? After reading that whole godawful story? Ha! As if. Shen Yuan knew exactly what he was in for when he paid for each chapter.)

“He did not tell me what it is,” said the man who, as expected, could not read minds.

Liu Qingge! Shen Yuan cried in his mind, a little exasperated.

“Ah. Of course,” said the sect leader, smiling politely at both of them. He looked like he wanted to sigh but was too polite to do so and had instead defaulted to smiling. “However, I still need a name for the report. Until he can tell us his name, how does the esteemed spirit feel about having a nickname?”

Liu Qingge frowned at the same time that Shen Yuan perked up.

“A nickname?”

“Yes. Something simple and easy to remember that we can use in the meantime.”

Shen Yuan meowed pointedly, tapping Liu Qingge in the arm. The man just stared back silently, clearly deep in thought, before he nodded.

“The children at the village called him Xiao Maomi,” he declared.

“Xiao Maomi?” Yue Qingyuan repeated, looking at Shen Yuan for confirmation.

Shen Yuan considered it. It was very on the nose for a nickname, likely because it was a bunch of little kids who thought of it in the first place, but ‘little kitty’ wasn’t too terrible all things considered. He could have gotten stuck with a name like Doudou or Danhuang. Now that would have been embarrassing.

Therefore, he meowed positively. It was only temporary anyways so he didn’t care much.

Yue Qingyuan smiled politely, reaching for a brush. “Very well. We’ll put ‘Xiao Maomi’ down in the paperwork for now. It can always be changed at a later date.”

While Yue Qingyuan wrote, Shen Yuan looked up at Liu Qingge, considering. Then he wiggled out from under Liu Qingge’s hand, earning himself a curious look that he ignored, and used his claws to quickly climb up his arm and settle on the man’s shoulder, head resting on the collar of his robes.

The reason why the children of the village had taken to calling him ‘little kitty,’ as opposed to only ‘kitty,’ was immediately obvious to anybody with working eyes. This body of his was quite small even for an average cat’s, even a kitten’s, which had worked in his favor while he was sneaking around the village and against him during fights.

Shen Yuan had originally attributed this to a lack of proper nutrition coupled with a young age, but even after months of stealing food he remained around the same size. Now he wondered if maybe it had something to do with him being a Colored Claw Spirit Cat. He made a mental note to find more information on them later.

Right now, however, his small body meant that he was the perfect size to lay down on Liu Qingge’s shoulders and not have to worry about falling, something he intended to take full advantage of.

Liu Qingge huffed quietly, but made no moves to stop Shen Yuan.

Eventually, the sect leader set down his brush and looked back at them with a considering expression.

“In regards to Maomi-xiansheng’s new living arrangements,” he began lightly. “Normally, all Spirit Cats would be sent to the Shan Shou Peak where they’d be able to settle down and live their lives comfortably. However, Peak Lord Lan is currently in seclusion, and this master is uncertain whether any of her disciples are equipped to house and care for Maomi-xiansheng, as they are all quite young and inexperienced still.”

Ah, Shan Shou Peak, the Beast Taming Peak. One of many places that only got one or two lines when Luo Binghe joined and later destroyed Cang Qiong in PIDW. Shen Yuan had always been curious about this particular peak and all the (obviously wasted) potential it held, something he had ranted about on many occasions in the comment section. Infuriatingly, that hack author had once replied to one of his comments with, “okay okay chill dude, I’ll describe more of the sect in the next chapter,” and then spent six whole paragraphs describing Xian Shu Peak’s bathhouse and all the shijies in it.

Shen Yuan had never genuinely considered murder in his past life, but by god did he get close that day. He was sure his comment, written in a fugue state of pure rage, had reflected that.

“Doesn’t Lan Qingyi have Hall Masters on her peak?” Liu Qingge said, and though Shen Yuan couldn’t exactly see his expression from his position, he got the impression that the man was scowling as he said that.

“I believe they are occupied caring for all the creatures already in-house and teaching the disciples during Lan-shimei’s absence,” Yue Qingyuan answered, tone as close to exasperated as possible while still remaining polite. “Lan-shimei’s approach to her duties as Peak Lord is very different to Liu-shidi’s, after all.”

Shen Yuan had no idea what that was about, but he could almost feel the self-restraint it took Liu Qingge not to huff. The sect leader continued before he could question it.

“Nonetheless, with Shan Shou Peak not being an option, Maomi-xiansheng will need another place to stay, at least until Lan-shimei is back. Since it was Liu-shidi who brought him here, perhaps he wouldn’t mind housing Maomi-xiansheng until then?”

“En,” Liu Qingge nodded, after a moment of thought. “I do not mind.”

Yue Qingyuan smiled in response.

“Thanking shidi.”

And thus, Shen Yuan moved in with Liu Qingge.

[glassphinix]

KILLS YOU KILLS YOU KILLS YOU KILLS YOU KILLS YOU KILLS YOU KILLS YOU

[sapphicblight]

unchain the knuckles and latches, unburden my wrists - a vegaspete oneshot

Vegas decides not to put the cuff back on Pete's wrist after they have sex in the safehouse. Pete, armed with his newfound freedom, grows bold.

key tags: canon divergence, safehouse era, angst

warning: suicidal thoughts/ideations

[karasong]

i wouldn't mind being held at gunpoint just as long as i could be held

[anulithots]

Anuli in a nutshell *click for better quality*

TW for self deprecation

@waitingforthesunrise @sm-writes-chaos @holdmyteaplease @full-on-sam @awleeofficial @clearcloudlesssky @gummybugg

Let me know if you wish to be added/removed to the tag list <3

[bathroomcorpse]

fuck it. the full thing that i posted a snippet of last night. its super short.

[retrograderesemblance]

“checklist” for Kaz in your head lol

Send  “checklist” and my muse will fill out the list below with their thoughts about yours! // @smiletimeisrunningout

I find you to be:

[x] interesting [ ] cute [x] attractive [x] sexy [x] reassuring [x] intimidating [ ] annoying [ ] tedious [x] terrifying

I think we should:

[x] talk more [x] hang out more [x] date [x] adopt each other as found family [x] fight (friendly) [ ] fight (hostile) [x] avoid each other if at all possible

If we spent an evening together we would:

[x] just hang out [x] talk about deep stuff [x] cuddle [x] go to bed together (to sleep) [x] go to bed together (to… not sleep) [x] go out and party till sunrise [x] both get arrested [ ] probably wind up killing each other

If we kissed it would be:

[ ] a chaste press of lips [ ] a playful smooch [x] swift and stolen [x] deep, sweet, and sincerely meant [x] all teeth and tongue and hot as heck [x] not happening

If we had sex it would be:

[x] romantic and luxurious [x] fast, rough and hard [x] against the nearest wall [x] fantastic [x] awkward [ ] a really bad idea [x] an all-around disaster [x] not happening

If I woke up and found you unexpectedly in my bed I would:

[x] cuddle you [x] offer you breakfast [x] attempt to seduce you [x] kick you out [x] demand to know how you got there [ ] scream

[kidsomeday]

You're Nobody Til Somebody Wants You Dead for WIP Wednesday

Thank you so much for the ask! You get extra because apparently I needed to write some angst today.

tw: alcohol, discussion of death

-

“Long story short Angel killed her mother. Not intentionally of course, but dead is dead. And she…she needed to be protected” (you needed to hide her) “the world was too dangerous” (she was too dangerous) “and hadn’t been able to…I had to keep her safe” (you treated her like a killer). He ignored the voice that whispered in the darkest parts of his mind. It was a well practiced skill. “And I learned that there is power in respect. So I fought for it. I killed Tassiter, took over this company, made it and myself to the excellence you see today. No one could know about Angel or her abilities because they would try to use her” (like you did) “and I couldn’t let that happen. So I kept her secret. I built her a fortress” (a prison) “where she could be safe” (a prisoner).

He finished the drink and thought about refilling the glass but opted for the bottle instead. Sure it made the voice in his head louder, it’s truths a little harsher, but it also let his own words come easier. And he needed that if he was going to admit this next part. 

[sugar-clovers]

Rouge - Prompt Based

I’m a bit new here, and usually stay for art and any interesting pieces of fan-fiction that are related. Funny enough, it’s not really related at all. However, I’m feeling a bit creative to actually write something. A prompt that I found on TikTok and the ideas were just brilliant that I had to share them before my brain forgot them.

Content Warning: Murder, mild blood and gore.

Please notify me if I missed anything.

Rouge - A series of mysterious deaths linked to the color red leads a young detective into the deepest rabbit hole of her life.

The color rouge, specifically red rouge. Typically any kind of red or reddish-colored make-up that's used for tinting a person's cheeks.

However, in this context, it stained the victim's body. Her dress drenched, face frozen and petrified, their body methodically placed holding the infamous bouquet of poppies. Jewelry shining with each flashing light of the camera. Her feet dirty.

The medical coroner walked with his assistant trailing behind and arrived. My partner and I greeted them.

"To whom do I have the displeasure of, Audrey?" Benji asked. "We still haven't identified them yet but this marks the 4th victim." I stated before continuing to take pictures. My eyes drifting between each of the splotches of rouge littering the plaza. "The killer has been getting more bold lately."

"So, what'd ya got Benji?" My mentor, Larissa, questioned. Benji gave them a pointed look before starting.

While doc squatted down his assistant settled down the bags while Benji spoke. "Well, I can see there's no pooling of the victim's blood but her dress is soaked in it, suggesting they were moved. The gash to her neck, slightly cleaned as well. And they positioned them to hold the flowers as we’ve seen with past victims. Their shoes are missing as well.” Benji rambled. “Some bruising is present in the shape of a hand. Maybe we can get some fingerprints.”

Larissa turned to me. “Your turn, gimme a rundown.”

“The job seems a bit sloppy than usual, rushed even, which the killer might’ve been walked in on before finishing.” My head signaling over to the maintenance workers being given interviews. “The plaza is decorated in spots of rouge.” Larissa seemed satisfied. “We can check with cameras around the plaza to get a better view of our poppy killer. And a bit later with the local bars.” Larissa told me.

Benji's gloved hands pulled out the bouquet and examined it pulling out a paint card simply titled ‘rouge’ before handing it to his assistant to bag and tag it. He began to do some other tasks before starting up again.

"The time of death occurred between 4-5am but I won't know more until I've got them on the slab." Benji said. As he and his assistant began to lift and cart the body away.

Larissa began to trek over to the maintenance workers while I stayed behind to take more pictures before calling cleaners.

It won’t be long before the press are clamoring over us.

I don’t know if I’ll do continue to add to the prompt but I know if I did certain details may be subject to change.

- Was originally posted on my Wattpad account

[erikasnothungry]

is it bad I want to pass out at school so people finally see that I'm not okay

I feel like such an attention seeker idk

at least my dogs love me

[braixen]

ppl in my inbox pissed about my harry potter post assuming i’m a trans woman…

i’m not offended by it whatsoever but i need to let you know that the reason you think everyone who opposes your awful bigoted garbage ass viewpoint is trans is b/c it’s easier than admitting to yourself that anybody that’s cis could have a different view than yours and that you’re just not a good person. n e way blocked and also kys.

[guiltyidealist]

stigma stigma stigma ! doom and despair? :0✨ cesspool of, ~problems~ 😬😬 drama given consciousness, stir everything up out of nowhere. can try lov butttt may be best to no?t bother...... always ouch :( forever tragedy is bu t! WILL hurt you-- reserve pity or WILL take advantage of your merciful 💖. unfortungt

[javic-piotr-thane]

the Colchesters' dialogue at the end of Colin Alone

Colchester: In the car, hurry up. [they get in] Colin: Seatbelt. Colchester: *done with everything* Oh for the love of God Colin! [for a moment they just pant, understandable after running from the collapsing building] Colin: *confused* St. John... is this a taxi? Colchester: Yeah well the busses don't come out here, do they. Colin: *dark* No. No they don't. [more panting, sounds of sirens in the background as they drive away] Colin: *slightly incredulous, still trying to grasp the whole situation* You did... all this? Colchester: More or less. [pause] Colin: *calm voice, with only the smallest hint of teasing* How was Australia? Colchester: You wouldn't have enjoyed it. Colin: *concedes quickly, clearly no longer bitter* Probably not. *short pause* But I'd like to have been there. Colchester: *stammers uncharacteristically, struggles with what to say* I don't like you seeing this side of me. Colin: Ah... I could get used to it. *coy/hopeful smile evident in his voice* Colchester: *without missing a beat* That's what I'm worried about. *sounding more resigned than truly sad* Colin: *increasingly exhilarated, pure smiling adoration* It was... *struggles briefly to find a word for his feelings* amazing! Colchester: *more desperate now* Don't say that! Colin: Oh... *changes direction of thought* There's blood on your cardigan. Colchester: Yes. *brief, small huffs of laughter* It'll wash out. Colin: *also laughs quietly, like he can't help it* [pause] Colin: *calm voice, only very very slight desperation in it* Why did you leave me for so long? Colchester: I'm... uh... *collects himself once more* I'm sorry. Other things to do. Other people to rescue. I knew you were safe enough, until you weren't. *brief pause* You knew I was coming, didn't you? Colin: [inflection impossible to determine] Yes. *breaks off, clearly still reflecting* You did all this? ... For me? Colchester: Colin - Colin: You shot them! Colchester: Yes! Colin: ... I see. *brief pause, clearly still not completely sure how to feel* Thank you. *after another pause, another topic shift* Should I ask who they were? Who they were working for? Colchester: *voice that brooks no argument* Bad people working for something worse. That's what we're fighting now, it's why Torchwood are in hiding. Colin: What is it? Colchester: We don't yet know. But it's hunting for us as much as we are hunting for it. It's *small hesitation* another reason I hung back. Colin: *alarmed* Have you put yourself in danger coming for me?! Colchester: *almost desperate* Yes! But I... I... *stammers* I wouldn't leave you, Colin. Colin: *suddenly tired* I know. *musing* I guess I knew that all along. [pause] Colin: What now, St. John? Colchester: Now, I get you somewhere safe. Then - Colin: *interrupts him* Goodbye again? Colchester: A proper goodbye this time. And I won't be far! Or let you out of my sight again. I promise. Colin: But for how long. No- let me guess. As long as it takes. Colchester: *sighs* That's right, Colin. *darker* Whatever it takes. Colin: *almost dreamy* Saving the world... never change. *voice full of fondness* I wouldn't have you any other way. Colchester: ...Good.