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creedslove · 6 months

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WHO KNEW? 💍💔 - PART THREE

No outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader

"You took my hand, you showed me how

You promised me you'd be around (...)

I took your words and I believed in everything you said to me (...)

If someone said three years from now, you'd be long gone, I'd stand up and punch them out, 'cause they're all wrong

I know better, 'cause you said forever, and ever, who knew?"

Summary: you and Joel try to handle what happens after you both slept together and a revelation brings the truth about the nature of your relationship with Joel

• This is the third part of the small series: Who Knew? 💍💔 (PART ONE | PART TWO) which was also inspired by this amazing HEADCANON request

Warnings: angst, broken hearts, mentions of divorce, mentions of infidelity, fluff, age gap (Joel is four to five years older than reader and the time skip is 12 to 14 years (Sarah's age) but feel free to imagine whatever you want), smut, oral sex (f! receiving/m!receiving) piv, dirty talking, discussions of relationships

A/N: alright besties, I really don't know where this chapter came from, I had sworn I wouldn't write continuations of this story, but here I am, with a serious case of Joel Miller brain rot and all I could think of was him! I love this story with all my heart and I don't know if this chapter is consistent or not, as it was written through several days and I poured my feelings into it, but days change and so do feelings so hehehe, also, I may or may not have been a little too horny for Joel xD, anyway, I hope you beautiful besties like the story ❤️

12.3k words

Waking up by Joel's side was something you could've sworn it would never happen, it would only become a distant memory as the years advanced after the divorce; you thought maybe you would think about it every so often, when nostalgia got the best of you, if you felt lonely at times or maybe even the moments you would spend next to your ideal future husband, a man worthy of you and your love, someone who would actually treat you exactly how you deserved it, who wouldn't run away with the first willing whore he could find and build a life with her, the life that used to be yours, and was supposed to. No, that ideal husband would never steal from you, not your happiness, your beauty or your youth, as much as you closed your eyes and tried picturing this ideal, ethereal man, you were haunted by your ex-husband. It was his smile that came to your mind when you thought of this bittersweet fantasy; his hands that gripped your body, it was him. You realized your deepest wish was to have Joel as that husband; in an alternative universe where he wasn't a jerk, instead, he would be the perfect, sweet and hard-working husband, just like he used to in the beginning, and you both would love and support each other, building up a life, a family and a home together. That was how things were supposed to go, but everyone knew the end of that story.

What nobody except you and Joel knew, was the plot-twisted epilogue of your story with Joel. Very often, you thought of your relationship as a closed book, a shitty, depressing romance novel that had its indignant ending written and done, with no space to fix things up… until your return to Austin and things simply started to happen. You refused to believe it was a new chapter or a new beginning, quite the opposite, as much as your rational said had begged and screamed not to do it, not to get close to Joel and you simply went there and did it, now it begged you to put an end to it, your mind told you the night you'd spent together was just scratching that maddening itch and nothing more. It would be easy to pretend nothing had happened: Tommy had left shortly after the cops arrived at your place and headed to his girlfriend's, according to Joel. Sarah was absolutely clueless and had no idea what was going on, especially after both you and her dad had put an end to her efforts of setting you both up. All you had to do was to convince Joel of the same: it was a mistake, it shouldn't happen again.

But then, at the same time, why was it so good to wake up next to him? In fact, next to him was an understatement, as you were all over him. Safely tucked into his arms during the night, you had switched positions several times like you often did when you slept, but Joel always kept you at arms length, refusing to let go of you no matter what. It shouldn't feel this good, but it did, and even when morning came and it was time to get up, you pretended you didn't really have to. It was your secret, no one would know nor judge you if you stayed a little longer in his bed, what was the worst that could happen, after all? So the moment you felt Joel stirring right behind you, your eyes closed shut and you relaxed your body as best as you could so he would think you were asleep. It was quite stupid, you were aware, but suddenly you felt shy to be awake in his presence?! It was odd, but you didn't know how to act exactly… were you supposed to kiss? Act as a continuation of the night before or straight up pretend nothing happened? Should you begin ‘the talk' with Joel?! You didn't even know what you were going to say, so instead, pretending to be dead, well actually, asleep, was definitely a better plan. Joel hadn't changed in all those years, you recognized and anticipated every single move he would make; it started by his soft groans the moment he fully woke up, the hesitation he probably felt the moment he eyed you there and quickly the memories of the night before filled him entirely. His morning erection was hard pressed against your ass and that was another difficult part of the equation taking place in your mind at that moment; all it would take you was wiggling your ass a little and you both could start your day in a very fun way. It was tempting, and while you baffled yourself whether to do it or not, you felt Joel again. The way he gently placed his hand on your arm, caressing it up and down, almost in a ghostly touch, a bit afraid of scaring you away; to Joel, you were like a beautiful, delicate butterfly flying into his life, making things prettier for him, but also so easily scared off. He couldn't afford to have you fly away from him once more, not that time. His hand went to your naked stomach, stroking it softly, he enjoyed the butter-like feel of your skin under his hand. After all the cuts, bruises and dirt from hard work, it was a nice change to be able to touch you. He'd had his fair share of touching beautiful women, but none of them would ever compare to you. You were naked under his touch, entirely for himself, a dream that came true at that moment and yet it seemed way too good to be real. Hands that stroked your body leaving a trail of goosebumps over your sensitive skin, as he nuzzled your shoulder, taking some strands of hair away from your neck, he let his stubble beard scratch it softly, lips connecting to your skin, in gentle and silent pecks, ones that made you bite your lips not to moan too loud, even if the goosebumps insisted on appearing, hardening your nipples and sending a wave of lust down your core. Joel had his good ear to the mattress, not hearing if you were letting out small, sexy sounds but he could see the visible signs of his caress on you. He wanted more of it, he woke up with hunger, more like starvation and it was for you, your body, your touch, your presence. He wanted you, and he would have you, not only that morning, but forever, by his side.

“I know you're awake” Joel mumbled against your skin, you could feel his teeth nibbling you, making you squeal softly and moan at his touch, you turned around facing him and raised your eyebrow, heart melting at how adorable Joel's messy bed hair was, even if it was a little grayer now, it still made him look so handsome, you couldn't hold yourself back but caress his curls gently.

“How did you know I was awake?” You questioned him and felt his teeth scraping your collarbone instead of actually answering your question. It didn't take very long for Joel to straddle you, pinning you against the mattress as he took in all of you. You were beautiful, gorgeous, you were his. At least that was what he wanted to tell himself, but it didn't matter the future, not then, because at that very moment you belonged to him and only him. You lay under Joel, your breathing accelerating as you didn't know exactly what to do or what to expect, crashing your lips together, you tugged at his hair - you loved Joel's hair so much - and felt his rough hands running even more freely through your body. One knee on each side of you, preventing you from moving as he stared down at you, your body being the most beautiful piece of art he'd ever laid eyes on. Joel Miller was a man sinking deep further into his passions and he couldn't even hide it or pretend it otherwise. His mouth went for your neck, then down your collarbone, your breasts, so beautiful and tempting as they'd always been, time he'd been so kind to you, and now he appreciated it. He kissed your breasts gently at first, getting to your nipples, they were always so hard and sensitive and it was all for him. Lips wrapping around them, his tongue flicking then gently as you tugged even harder and pulled his curls gently. The way Joel made you feel was always something else, it was so stupid to try to fight that, at least while you were pinned down by his strong, sexy body. When he finally let go of your breasts, he kept moving his tortuous path south down you. His lips were dancing over your stomach, he loved that part of you and had lost track of how many times he'd daydreamed about your figure looking round while you carried his baby Miller inside. He enjoyed picturing it, another life coming out of you, a baby that would be half you and half him, that would bring Sarah the title of ‘big sister’ and seal the happy ending of your story in which you would become Mrs.Miller once more, for real and above all for the rest of your lives. Deep down he knew that wouldn't go further than a simple fantasy, something to lose himself in before falling asleep before bed every night, and yet, it always brought him such joy, comfort and affection within his body, and at that moment, when he was kissing your womb, his hands holding you legs spread as he took his time in kissing and nibbling your lower stomach, he closed his eyes and made that irrational wish, practically, that wouldn't do, not in real life, not with your history weighing heavily on the two of you, nor with your life styles that were so different from each other's. He worked too much, Sarah was already growing into a teenager, you were inexperienced at that matter at the same time he was getting older and was certain that having to watch a baby and later on a toddler would absolutely kill his back. But if it was so impractical, it should be so sweet at the same time. It would be a lot easier for him to keep those stupid thoughts out of his mind. When Joel got closer to your core, you wanted to tell him to stop, to remind him that you didn't use protection at all and you'd been missing up the pills, warn him there was maybe some probability of you both making that situation even more of a mess than it already was, but the words died out in your mouth, the moment Joel's eyes matched yours, the pool of brown warmth making your heart skip a beat at the same time he parted your legs, giving your inner thighs each a love bite, and your breathing accelerating once more in the anticipation of what was about to happen.

“Relax, baby girl” he purred against your skin, he was so close to your core you could feel his breath fanning your sensitive area, his hands gripping the outside of your legs in a way it was clear he was claiming his power over you. You were about to be devoured by a hungry man and at that, your heart raced like no other, just as Joel reached you.

His lips ghosted over your slit, loving how shaky and sensitive you were at that moment, head shoved between your legs he took his hands into action, using them to spread your lips wide and groaned in approval of how sexy that view was. Ever since you married Joel, being intimate with your husband was something normal and natural, expected even, and whereas you weren't a prude by any means, the way Joel touched you or how filthy that mouth could be always made you go red from head to toes, especially when he simply stopped at stared at your body like that.

“Fuck baby, you still got the same pretty pussy I remember, it's the best one I've ever seen, you taste so fucking good, this sweet clit of yours had always made my mouth water” he teased as you could barely hear his voice through the adrenaline making all that blood pumped so loud into your ear. He spread your pussy lips open, his cock was already twitching to see your cunt twitching for him. The way your clit twitched in anticipation and your hole clenched at the air, how your wetness simply pooled in your entrance and it was all for Joel, because of Joel and he wasn't going to waste another minute before having you. You closed your eyes the moment he kissed your clit, kissing it as he would with your lips, all you could do was whimper and once more grip your hands into his hair pulling his head against your pussy, wanting more and more. At your touch, Joel stopped playing around, he simply sank his face into you, devouring you, licking, suckling and flicking your sensitive clit, lapping at your juices so hungrily, like a madman having his favorite meal. Joel's hands were large and his fingers were thick, so the moment he inserted two digits inside, you were already filled with him, the way he ate your pussy and fingered you, the knot forming down your lower belly, you barely had time to warn him, but it wasn't necessary, Joel knew your body well enough to know you were cumming, getting so nice and ready for him he continued, until you exploded into an intense and long orgasm, in which he tried to make it last for you as much as he could.

After your bliss, it didn't take very long for him to slip inside, now that you were all wet and stretched for him, you wrapped your legs around his waist and closed your eyes in pleasure. Your nails scratching down his broad back, his skin warm and sweaty on top of you. You wanted more of him, at that moment that was you favorite place in the world, primal, obscene, his grunts into your ear as he fucked you like he would any whore. At that moment you couldn't hold back your desires, your lustful thoughts took the best of you. If Joel asked you to be his personal cum dumpster, you would say yes. And at that realization, he came inside, once more, just like he did the night before and you loved it.

Suddenly the exhaustion took over you, your body and your thoughts and it seemed like an impossible task to keep your eyes open.

“Sleep, baby girl, relax” Joel whispered against your ear once more, pulling you closer, the two of you appreciating the lovely bliss you shared after your orgasms. It felt right, even if it shouldn't.

•••

When Joel woke up that morning for the second time with you tangled in his arms, he smiled at himself, wondering how lucky a motherfucker like himself could actually be. The past hours replayed in his mind, over and over, and he still didn't believe they were true, simply because they were too good to be true in the first place, still the reminders of how true it all had been were there: the pink fading lines you left all over his skin were still apparent, your clothes scattered around the bedroom floor, the way your hair invaded his pillow and now you smell lingered all over his bedsheets. It was real, and he couldn't be happier. Watching as you exhaustively slept, he dragged himself out of bed, not really wanting to leave but knowing he needed to start his day somehow. So he just planted a soft kiss on your forehead and headed to shower before going downstairs, as he needed to get breakfast ready for his girl.

You on the other hand, slept without even noticing you, being so exhausted after another steamy session with Joel; when you woke up nearly an hour later, you felt his side of the bed empty and for a split second you sighed disappointed at the impression it'd been just a dream, which only lasted until you could feel that bittersweet soreness between your legs, the mess Joel's room was in and how sticky you were with sweat and some of your juices mixed up together. You bit your lips and giggled, you thought you'd wake up full of regret, feeling guilty and upset about what happened, but turns out you felt great, perhaps, all you needed to decrease that upsetting feeling of melancholy you often grew inside was a good fuck provided by the best man you'd ever tried.

You yawned big and stretched, getting up and feeling that familiar sting between your legs, a reminder of Joel's virility and size. As you weren't sure what to do or where Joel could be, or even worse: if Sarah was home at all, you decided to be as silent as possible, your wish was just getting dressed and going downstairs, but the moment you saw your reflection in the mirror you knew you had to shower. It didn't take too long to find Joel's bathroom, you got yourself under the shower stream, groaning at how your muscles relaxed under it, the way the knots on your hair seemed to undo themselves. You chuckled while soaping your body in Joel's soap, shampooing your hair with his shampoo, smelling entirely like him, as if he'd marked you like an animal would. Perhaps you shouldn't enjoy this obscene thought as much as you did, but at that point that ship had sailed and you couldn't care less about it. Stepping outside the shower, you dried yourself and went through Joel's drawers just enough to find something comfortable to wear - one of his boxers and an old shirt.

“Joel?!” You called him at the top of the stairs, hoping you two were still alone there, as you really didn't want to risk being seen in those - lack of - clothes by Tommy or god forbid, Sarah.

“In here” Joel replied, his voice coming from the kitchen and as soon as you got downstairs you were hit by the delicious smell of coffee, and just as your stomach growled in hunger you realized you couldn't even remember your last meal.

You followed the delicious smell and smiled when you saw him flipping a bunch of pancakes, frowning softly at the image, it was so odd to see Joel being so domestic, cooking breakfast when in reality, you were the one who usually got to do all the cooking and chores, not to mention the choice of menu for the breakfast.

“You don't like pancakes!” you said surprised as you approached the stove to confirm if you weren't seeing things, being surprised by the way Joel wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you closer, greeting you with a peck on the lips, which you didn't expect but you couldn't complain either.

“I don't, but you do, and you deserve it, baby girl” he stroked your sides as he kept flipping pancakes with his free hand like a damn pro. You could only imagine how many times he had to step in and make his daughter pancakes until he got that skilled at that. You looked at him and as if he'd read your mind, he pecked your forehead this time

“Sarah is at her friend's which means she's only coming in the afternoon, you can hang out, maybe we can grab lunch together and then I'll drive you home, fix your door and all..” he said and stared lovingly at you “if you wanna go, otherwise you can stay here” he winked and made you chuckle.

“Joel, about us, about what happened-”

“Don't do that now, darling, let's not upset ourselves, let's have breakfast together and we can talk about it later”

You could tell Joel was postponing the subject, it was simply inevitable to talk about your future together or lack of it, due to your history, what happened between the two of you should be addressed, and even if you had been as willing as he was, it was a fact you weren't so easy to convince that perhaps being together was a good idea. However, he was also right: you could discuss things later, because at that moment you just wanted to have breakfast with Joel; damage had already been done, so what if you two continued to act the way you were? If anything, if you two parted ways, you would simply still have a nice time to cherish, to balance the ups and downs of your relationship together.

You two walked to the table, Joel placed the pancakes down and got comfortable on the chair, taken by surprise as you simply sat on his lap, instead of taking the seat next to him. You looked at him with a grin and stole a peck from his lips

“What?! You said we should have breakfast first” you giggled and started eating, at the same time his arm wrapped around your frame and he pulled you even closer. You couldn't really complain about that breakfast, it was the best you've ever had in so long, and it had nothing to do with pancakes.

•••

During daylight it was possible to see the damage the thieves left in your home; not only did they steal valuable things, but they also left a trail of mess and dirt through the floors, making you feel so angry at the shit hole they'd left your house. As soon as you got off Joel's truck, you could see cleaning, fixing and buying things again would take a long time, and even if you had the best contractor around town next to you, you still had to do chores. He placed his hands on his waist, furrowing his brows while he scanned the room, thinking of what he should do. You quickly changed into more comfortable clothes, grabbing a mop and a bucket and began cleaning up everything you had to, you reminded Joel he could make himself at home and grab drinks or snacks, since it was the least you could do after he'd been so kind to help you - and fuck you raw morning and night.

Once you'd finished your chores and showered quickly to get rid of the sweat, you went downstairs, looking for Joel. He had fixed a few things here and there, things you hadn't even noticed, but the moment you walked down the stairs, he was fixing your door.

And you were not prepared for that sight, at all.

Not with how Joel's shirt was clinging tight to his body, damp with sweat, the way his jeans looked so good around his thighs and his butt, or how he flexed his biceps unconsciously while he forced the warped wood forwards, the soft grunt he let out and how his huge hand wiped the forehead off his forehead was enough to set your core on fire. You stood there, at the bottom of the stairs, gripping the handrail and wondering when you'd become that thirsty for a man. Even when you had relationships after your divorce, you couldn't remember being that easily turned on, but at that moment, a mere display of Joel's roughness was enough to pool your wetness on your panties. He was just so mainly, so strong, something primal and intense about that man's body, he was different from any man you'd met, and the years only added to it, you were so tired of fighting your urges and feelings. Yes, Joel had been the worst husband a woman could've asked for, but just because you wanted to crazily ride on his cock, it didn't mean you would have to marry him again, definitely not. Joel wasn't a good husband, but he was a damn fine lover.

“I didn't see you there” you jumped at Joel's voice, distracted by it as he snapped you out of your lustful thoughts, nodding at him and smiling nervously. He cleared his throat “I'm guessing you want to talk, don't you?” There was a slight hint of disappointment in his voice and you thought for a while

“Yeah, we need to talk, just… take a seat, I'll get you some water” you pointed at your couch and disappeared into the kitchen, finding Joel standing still when you returned with a fresh bottle of water for him. He hadn't moved, something inside of him telling him not to, some kind of superstition, that maybe if he sat down he would go back to the poor reality of his life, a life without you, your touch, your caress. As long as he stood up, he could always find something to do around your home and then spend a little longer by your side. He took the bottle with a nod in gratitude and took a big sip of it, at the same time it seemed you were watching an erotic movie just by the way your body reacted to the image of his neck, the way his veins pumped as he swallowed his water, showing his thirst, and to think just a few hours before he was eating your pussy with the same ferocity, made you press your thighs together. You needed that man, and you were going to have him, no matter what. To hell with needing to have a serious chat, to move on with your life and not forgetting the past, you needed him carnally. Joel finished his water and finally walked to your couch, taking a seat and spreading his legs, just like he often did to find a comfortable position. You hated when men did that, taking up space and being rude, but not Joel, the way he did it was hot, it reminded you of how big he was, his long legs, big, strong thighs, so perfect to ride, and his frowny face, you could tell he was worried, probably thinking you would just thank him for the help, tell him what happened between the two of you couldn't happen again and ask him to leave. Hiding the heartbreak under his mean face, little did he know that conversation would have to be postponed, because your mouth was about to be too busy to talk.

“You want to talk, right?” He asked, nervously running his hands through his jeans, watching as you took another step closer and nodded.

“Yeah, but we can't talk right now… I'd rather use my mouth for something else” you winked at him, falling onto his knees and began caressing his thighs over his rough jean, smirking at his surprised face, hands fiddling his pants as you opened his fly and bit your lips

“I need your cock now, Joel, I need you in my mouth”

He was taken aback by your sudden change of behavior, he'd sat down expecting to be told to leave, but now he had you on your knees begging for his cock and that was something he couldn't deny. His left hand gripped your hair, tilting your head up a little, while his right hand stroked your cheek gently, his thumb ghosted over your lips, tracing an invisible path on it as he nodded. Suddenly, roles were reversed: he wasn't waiting for you to stop and decide what he should do, instead, he was in charge and he was about to make you choke on his cock.

“So pretty, baby girl…” Joel's voice wasn't much more than a whisper “you want my cock, don't you? Just like a filthy little slut, you wanna choke on it? Want my cum down your pretty throat?”

All you could was nod at his filthy words, Joel's mouth could drive any woman inside without any physical touch, just his dirty choice of words was enough to cause a turmoil of feelings and increase the pool in your panties. He lifted his hips and pulled his pants down, freeing his cock, already hard and held it by the base, while you licked your lips. You could see his tip glistening and closing your eyes as Joel rubbed his tip against your lips, before you opened it and took his cock into your mouth. Joel threw his head back and groaned in pleasure, he could feel his balls quivering while both hands flew to your hair, gripping it as you bobbed your head up and down his shaft, your hand squeezing and stroking his cock up and down where you couldn't reach his length. You'd always loved Joel's groans, the way he sounded so voracious, you clenched your thighs together, trying to give your throbbing clit some sort of relief. He guided you through his blowjob, he hadn't gotten a good one like that in years; of course he'd had his affairs, nightstands and such, but no mouth in the world compared to yours at all. He praised you, reminded you were his favorite cock slut and he wouldn't have any other than you.

You could feel by the way he clenched in your mouth his release was close, he was about to unload and you wanted to swallow all of him. So you continued, even when Joel tried to lift your head gently and warn you, you didn't need any warnings, you simply continued blowing him until he was cumming into your mouth. He reached his orgasm with another grunt, at the same time you worked your magic and swallowed every single drop of him. The way his cock pulsed inside of your mouth, how his breathing got rapid, his chest raising up and down at a fast pace, it was the sexiest thing you'd ever seen. Joel Miller was a strong, manly man, and you loved it.

He finally rested his eyes on you, his hell and heaven on earth, and he just needed more of you, convinced that whatever he had of you just wasn't enough. He helped you up, then pulled you to his lap, making you squeak in surprise as you landed right on top of him. You rested your forehead against his, while he pressed your body closer, never wanting to let go. He pulled you for a kiss, your lips tasting like him, sent Joel another wave of lust and need; he kissed your neck, his hands fiddling with your clothes, getting rid of them as he wanted you bare for him, your body on his, naked; he wanted to take you inside your house, not just some dirty, rushed secret locked in his room, but instead, claim you in any room of your home, if you ever wanted to break with him and decide he shouldn't be part of your life any longer, then at least he would leave his mark knowing each time you walked into any room, you would think of him, reminded of the time Joel fucked you and emptied himself inside of your tight juicy cunt.

“Come on, darling, ride my cock” his rough voice commanded you at the exact time Joel's hand pulled your shorts and your panties down. He went for your ass, massaging it, squeezing your cheeks and slapping it a couple of times, seeing it wiggle softly

“You're so fucking hot, you know that, sugar? Only you can make my cock throb the way you do” he praised you. His fingers traveled to your cunt, caressing it for the second time that day, making you spread your legs as wide as you could over him. He stroked your clit, feeling your arousal pooled in your entrance, it was intoxicating to him, he needed you every single day for the rest of his life. He gripped your hips, helping you lift yourself up and as held his cock in place and sank down onto it.

“Just like that, gorgeous, take that cock baby girl” he praised you.

You spent the rest of your afternoon riding Joel on your couch, not giving a single shit if any of the neighbors could see it through the curtains or the mere fact Joel had given you the worst heartbreak of your life; you needed him as much as he needed you, and it seemed neither of you could let go.

•••

The following days went by exactly the same way they usually did: you either worked from home or you went to the office a few times a week, you went grocery shopping, led a quiet, normal life, received Sarah's visits almost daily with the exception you were also seeing her dad without her having any idea. In fact, no one apart from you and Joel knew what was going on, and neither of you had any intention of changing that. Being completely honest, you should have broken things up with Joel the morning after, but each time you decided to do so, you simply couldn't get it done, the mere thought of standing in front of Joel and asking him to stay away from you was devastating, even if you turned to your memories of the day you found out Joel was in love with Angela and didn't want to be with you any longer couldn't help you. Of course they were as painful as if they were fresh, but at the same time it also felt like it happened between two completely different people rather than you and Joel. It was so difficult to process that Joel and your current Joel were the same, because deep down your heart claimed they weren't; the Joel you were constantly hooking up with was a hardworking, a great father, he was caring, sweet, he was passionate and he treated you as if you were the best thing he'd ever seen in the whole world. He'd become a closed man to relationships due to the guilt he felt for treating you the way he did and the abandonment he suffered from Angela. As much as that sounded twisted, the fact you were both abandoned by people you loved, also brought you closer, especially because he got to know exactly how you felt, which increased his guilt. It was terrible, but he was aware he was probably going to carry that for the rest of his life; even if he watched you smile and laugh, or if you wrapped your arms around him, underneath the joy and excitement he felt within, there would always be a tad of guilt just like a bitter taste in his mouth, reminding him of his coward attitude and how much better than him you truly were. As you had told Joel while you still hadn't crossed the line of how far your relationship should go, the problem wasn't the fact he fell in love with Angela, that could've happened to anyone, even if the sting of rejection hurt, being tricked and lied to was way worse than that. Even if it was hard to recover from the pain - if you had even recovered at all, after all, more than a decade went by without you being able to have a commitment to anyone, unable to stay in a relationship for more than other a few months, - you could only imagine Joel's experience was even worse; not only his relationship with Angela ended, but she also cut her ties with her own baby daughter. The disappointment he felt to realize his daughter would have to grow up without her mom, the paralyzing fear of being on his own to raise a baby, must've been intense. And even if some people could actually laugh at how funny life can be and swear there was still some kind of divine justice lurking around and he was simply paying for everything he'd done to you, you couldn't find the amusement in that situation, it was so sad, you could only feel pity. It seemed to you the years had turned Joel into a silent companion of pain, and not so much into the villain you'd projected onto him.

And all that was only the rational side of the story, because if you left it all to your feelings and desires, you wouldn't be able to leave his bed. Perhaps you were both feeling an overloaded amount of everything you had repressed for each other over the years; being able to externalize it was addictive, at first it was thought to be an inch you both needed to scratch, but soon enough it became obvious it was way more than that, which caused you to fall into his arms whenever you tried to make things easier for the two of you and simply let this condemned relationship go.

As you closed your laptop and watched Sarah's brows furrowing at the paper in front of her, in a mixture of focused and cranky for not being able to solve another math problem easily, she reminded you of Joel and how he would get the same way and have the same expression whenever he got frustrated with something not going according planned. You gently placed your hand on top of hers and offered her a reassuring smile, Sarah had had her nails done by you earlier, proud to see how pretty the sparkly color got on contracts with her skin. She was such a beautiful girl and you enjoyed being able to help her discover that, by introducing simple things like that, which meant the world to her, since she didn't have a mom around, it was nice doing stuff like that with someone experienced who could give her advice on school, friends and boys. She really appreciated it and if it were for Sarah, she would find a way to set you up with her dad and become one small family.

“you should have a break, you've been stuck in this question for a long time, try again later” you advised her and even if she sighed in a gruff way, - again, so Joel Miller coded - she nodded, closing her notebook and checking up her nails discreetly, which brought a warmth into your heart.

“So…” you started, hoping you would sound convincing enough and not raise any kind of suspicions from her, after all, that girl was smart “...you told me your dad is coming to pick you up, right? When he does, invite him inside so you guys can have dinner with me” you suggested, even if you and Joel had already agreed on it. You hadn't been able to see each other in a few days let alone touch each other, which was actually what you both really wanted, so all the options you got were texting like a bunch of horny teenagers. Now, sending nudes to a guy was something you would strongly disagree several months ago, but now? Each time your phone buzzed, you rushed to it, in hopes to get yet another picture of Joel's big hand holding his cock by its base, so you could lock yourself in any room and pull down your bra and panties, exactly the way he liked it. So spending some time around Joel even if you both had to play it cool was better than nothing. Sarah agreed but still felt a little puzzled at your suggestion.

“Alright… but why? You're regretting saying no when I tried to set you up?” She chuckled and you rolled your eyes, hoping you weren't so obvious. You moved to the kitchen and invited her to come along, so she could help you with dinner. You opened the fridge and had your back to Sarah, while you picked the meat and the vegetables.

“No, it's just that your dad was so nice to me, he fixed my front door after the break in, it would be a nice way to repay” you said “why do you even say that?”

“I think dad has a girlfriend or something…” she shrugged and you stopped, looking at her and trying to control the shock over your face.

“Y-yeah? And how do you know it?”

“Well, dad's different now, he seems happier, more cheerful, he's very often texting on his phone…”

“And what do you think of that?”

“It's nice, I guess” Sarah licked her lips “dad deserves to be happy, he's been lonely for a long time, ever since my mom left…” she said “but uncle Tommy says dad was sad before that, apparently there was another girl before mom, it didn't work between them or dad made her go away, I don't know why, but uncle Tommy told me once that even when he was with my mom, he couldn't forget about her an-”

“What happened then?” Only after you said it you realized you interrupted Sarah and sounded a little crazy, she didn't understand why you were so into that story after all, but seeing how eager you were to hear the ending of it, she continued.

“Well, according to uncle Tommy dad never forgot that girl, but she was way out of his league by the time my mom had left, so my dad sort of gave up dating” she shrugged “then my dad got home and interrupted uncle Tommy when he was about to tell me the full story, and he never spoke about it since” she replied with a simple shrug and pointed at the meat you were about to roast

“Hey, that's my dad's favorite!” She said amused at the coincidence of menus which you knew damn well that wasn't a coincidence, but your treat to Joel. As you kept cooking with Sarah's help, you also thought about the story she'd told you, too many things happening at once: finding out Joel had never forgotten you while his daughter was sure he had a mysterious girlfriend, which of course, was also you.

During dinner, you tried your best to forget about all of that, the way Joel and Sarah fit so well in that scene, the three of you at the table, eating and sharing how your days had been seemed like a beautiful painting of a perfect little family. A portrait of what things could've been like, or should have been like, and you enjoyed it, you couldn't deny it at all. Your gaze met Joel's and you shared a smile, silently agreeing you were spending a family time; you wondered if some day that would actually happen and if you would indeed be a family with Joel, sometimes you thought you would like it, and sometimes you would brush it off as some momentary lapse. But when he reached for your hand under the table and held it, caressing your knuckles with his thumb, your heart raced one more time and you couldn't help but allow yourself to picture a life by his and Sarah's side.

When you were all finished, Joel gladly dismissed his daughter from having to help with the dishes and the moment you two noticed she was fairly entertained with the new books you'd bought, he stole a kiss from you. It was quick but sweet and as much as it left you all giggly and blushing, it wasn't enough. Your need for Joel was overpowering, it was addictive, and you needed to touch him. Nothing would happen between the two of you while Sarah stood just a few feet away, Joel would never risk being caught that way, he respected his daughter too much, but he would kill to have his hands all over your body. He thought of asking you on a escapade with him, but he wasn't sure if it was a good idea, not with Sarah being a little suspicious of how friendly you were acting towards each other. He wondered if he could actually call you his girlfriend, if he could admit he was dating you, because that's what it felt like, but then, if you both came clean about the situation, it would get complicated, not only for him because of Sarah, but he was well aware you would be in a tricky situation with your family, since he knew for a fact your parents hated him, - with plenty reasons to do so - eventually, you would two would have to have the talk. Now, Joel didn't fear not being with you any longer, he knew that wouldn't happen, you were as attached to him as he was to you, but eventually, you would have to define that situation. He knew he could be cold and distant, but it was so damn hard for him to hide his passion, the way he leaned against the doorframe and watched as you carefully put the dishes away, looking every bit of sexy as you could be, not that young and naive little wife he kept at home before he screwed things up, but instead, the powerful, beautiful woman you grew to be.

Sarah was incredibly smart, but she was also naive at some level, which caused her to be oblivious to the fact you called Joel into the backyard at some point, asking him to check something up you wanted it fixed, only to pull him closer and kiss him deeply, gripping his body, wanting him to engulf you like he always did, your nails gently scratching down his back while his lips ravished yours.

“I want to spend the night with you so bad, baby girl” he whispered against your lips “you're so good to me, you treat Sarah like a princess, you cooked us my favorite meal, all I want is to show my gratitude by getting lost between these beautiful thighs” he teased and for a split second you felt like telling him to stay the night, to come clean and tell Sarah you were dating, dating as if you two were pretty much a decade younger and so eager to be in each other's arms, but it couldn't happen that way, not like that, and not at that moment. You nibbled his bottom lip a couple of times before letting go, your body tingled for him, aching for his touch and as he told you he would call Sarah to go home, you felt unannounced tears flooding your eyes for no reason. Why did things have to be so complicated, why Joel couldn't have been this good from the beginning? You could've lived more than a decade of happiness together, if it weren't for that.

As they said their goodbyes, you watched Joel's truck disappear from your eyesight, a pang in your chest insisting on saying it was your family leaving while you played too hard to get.

•••

You had never seen Sarah smile that wide as she did while you two walked around the mall; side by side, a bunch of bags in hands as you spent such a simple, and yet incredible quality time together. For her, it was like hanging out with the mom she never had, and you felt as if you were shopping around for the daughter you could never conceive. It didn't matter where you were going, which stores you were checking and not even exactly what you were buying, just the fact you were doing that together felt incredibly special. It all began when Sarah complained about not having what to wear to the Harry Styles concert in the upcoming week; after months of begging her dad and uncle Tommy, she was given a ticket to the presentation she'd been dreaming of watching, under the condition she wasn't going to drag her dad along. Joel was an amazing dad, and he would do almost about anything for her, but standing in line for hours and then having to watch that guy performing while an entire stadium of hysterical teenage girls would be screaming at the top of their lungs which would probably cause Joel to go deaf in his good ear was a hard pass, that he wouldn't do. In fact, he would. The moment she gave him her puppy eyes and asked him to take her, he would do it, even if he tried tricking himself, however, luck seemed to be standing by his side, as Tommy happened to start dating this chick who was also obsessed with that Harry guy and when she got herself and Tommy a ticket, Sarah was all set. And so was Joel, because without anyone knowing, he managed to get a free night with you. And in the blink of an eye, you and Joel seemed way more excited for the Harry Styles concert than Sarah.

So when she complained she didn't actually have anything nice to wear, you thought of doing that for her, it would be fun, a change of just staying inside reading books, you could spend some girl time together and while you were out with her, you could really watch Sarah, the way she behaved, how she talked and acted, it reminded you so much of Joel, you wondered if she'd taken anything from Angela at all, deep inside, you wish she didn't, even if it was a petty thing to do. The idea of Sarah being similar only to her dad was nothing but comforting and sweet to you, it was the easiest way to see the evolution he went through, unfortunately, he had to learn how to be a better person through the pain, but he had succeeded and that was what it really mattered. You didn't really care if you'd spent a lot on Sarah, you had the money after all, and she deserved it. She was happy, talking excitedly about several things, to the point she barely noticed when Joel walked towards the two of you. He had his jacket on, hair a little messy from the wind as he grinned shyly at the sight of you, his heart skipping a beat as it felt to him he was meeting his daughter and wife at the mall.

Sarah frowned, amused to see her dad, walking towards him, she hugged him, which surprised Joel a little, not expecting that gesture at that very moment.

“What are you doing here, dad?” She asked curiously as Joel greeted you by giving you a peck on the cheek, trying so hard not to seem he was practically drooling over you.

“Tommy needed to buy his girlfriend whatever and asked me for a ride, so while he disappeared into the crowd I was trying to find him” he explained and stared at you “you girls are having fun, I see?” He raised his eyebrow and Sarah eagerly nodded, lifting her bags a little and showing him everything you'd bought her. He was so thankful for everything you were doing for his daughter, especially because he was sure you did it out of kindness and the fact you care about her. You watched their interaction and bit your lips in anticipation, you felt a sudden urge to kiss Joel in front of everyone and walk around the mall holding hands with him, you had never discussed that before, but the thought of it made your heart race. Sarah exchanged a few words with her dad before her eyes went wide as she spotted one of her best friends a couple of stores ahead and smiled big

“Dad, can I go show Nat the things I got? Please?! I'll be right back!” She asked with her sweet eyes and Joel agreed, telling her you two would be around as he intended to keep you company. As you walked towards another store with Joel following you, Sarah soon got entertained with her friend in an ice cream booth nearby. You both chuckled at the scene and he quickly placed his hand on the small of your back.

“Is Tommy really shopping around for his girlfriend or were you just stalking us?” You teased Joel, entering the lingerie store, earning a gasp from him before he could actually answer your question.

“Don't even think about it, Miller, I'm here just to buy some sports bra to go to the gym and nothing more” you added but the mischievous look in his eyes was extremely well-known.

“That's a shame, because this one would look so good on you” he pointed at a lilac lacey pair of underwear, his mouth watering at how beautiful you would certainly get in it, and how stripping you out of all that lace would feel like unwrapping a Christmas gift. You frowned at him, reminding him you were just there to buy a couple of things and leave, in fact, you shouldn't have even let Joel get inside the store with you, it wouldn't be appropriate and how would he explain to Sarah what the hell he was doing there in the first place. Joel, on the other hand, was pretty much entertained by all the beautiful colors and shapes the tiny pieces of fabric came with; he could picture every inch of your body in them, trying to guess which ones would look better. He knew all of them would be just perfect, but he was a guy who was simply drawn to the traditional good old red lacey; it was gorgeous, and it would be a nice gift for the two of you. As he looked around to find you and show you what he'd decided to treat you to, you were nowhere to be seen; the sales clerk already busy with the new customers walking into the store, he decided to wander after you. He was thankful no one seemed to mind nor notice him there, too worried to be seen as a creep, but determined to find you nonetheless; as he got to the fitting room area, he quickly called your name.

“What now, Joel?!” You immediately replied from the one in the corner, slightly annoyed at the fact he'd followed you there, sometimes Joel was a little like a stray puppy, coming after you with those big sad brown eyes, and even if you wanted to shop for freaking sports bras on your own, you couldn't help but enjoy the fact he was just so needy of you.

When Joel opened the door and got inside, you even tried to argue and ask him what the heck he was doing there, but instead, he smirked, gripping your sides and kissing you as a way to keep you silent. You wanted to push him away and tell him to fuck off, but the rushing adrenaline you felt through your veins made you feel alive, and as always, Joel's touch set you on fire. He broke the kiss dragging his lips over to your neck and then your collarbone, his hands climbing up your sides and going to your breasts, squeezing them softly

“This sports bra ain't bad, but I'd say a work of art like your body should have more lace, or glitter or whatever shit you like” he said in a grunt and lowered your top, even against your protests that weren't much more than just some whimpers that couldn't convince you, let alone Joel. You could feel his beard scratching down your chest and going straight to your breasts, lips wrapping around your nipples as he suckled on it gently at first, flicking it with his tongue before moving to your other breast and working the same magic. Your heart raced to the point you could feel your blood rushing through your ears, the fact you both could be caught at any moment and kicked out of the store, or even worse: be arrested for public indecency, added a hint of fear to the traditional lust you had for Joel; that man would be the dead of you, that much you were sure of.

“We can't Joel…” you mumbled against his curls, his head on your chest as his fingers found their way down your belly, getting so close to your sweet spot, he was so needy of you, wanting all of you to the point it felt he would go crazy. His digits toyed with the hem of your panties, while you pulled his curls a little, making him groan.

“Sorry honey” you whispered and kissed this temple, which made him smile. Joel was about to finger you in a fitting room in the middle of a store and you were so sweet to him, it made his heart ache a little, at the realization he definitely didn't deserve you. He kissed you once more and nibbled your lower lips the moment his fingers reached your core, spreading your lips apart and finding your needy clit, already so hard and wet, just for him to enjoy. He wasn't going to tease you, you both didn't have time for it, so instead, he played with your wetness, before shoving his fingers inside of you, stretching you up the way you both knew and enjoyed it, he thumbed with your clit before focusing all his ministrations into your tight cunt, feeling your muscles squeezing and clenching around him. He'd kill to have his cock inside of you instead of his fingers, but that would have to wait. He felt your teeth on his shoulder, while your pussy gushed at the same time you came for him. He felt your body going limp, sustaining your weight with his free hand

“Taste yourself, princess” he whispered against your ear and held his fingers up, waiting for you to wrap your devilish lips around them and lick them clean. Joel felt the urge to take you right there and then, but he was a patient man and knew things would have to wait. He kissed your lips goodbye and exited the fitting room after making sure no one was around to see him.

The sales clerk was a little confused when she saw Joel walking towards the register with a blood red pair of lacey lingerie, she couldn't remember seeing him walk into the store and let alone hang around, but the work policy forced her to smile at him and be helpful, especially when he got his wallet out and extended his credit card.

“I'd like you to gift wrap this and give it to the beautiful lady who's trying sports bra in the fitting room, tell her it's my treat” he winked at the woman, aware he could use his charms in his own favor. She agreed to his request and he left the store just like any other ordinary customer, at the same time you received the package as a present the moment you tried paying for your stuff.

•••

After waiting what it seemed like forever, the Harry Styles concert was about to happen, which caused Joel to have a break from his brother, his girlfriend Maria and Sarah, who insisted they all spend hours waiting in line. His heart was full of joy and pride to see how happy his precious daughter was, the way she could barely sleep at night and that guy was the only thing she ever talked about. It was amusing to him, even if he ran out of patience from time to time, it was amazing to see his little girl looking like a beautiful young woman in her new outfit bursting with happiness. Joel couldn't also complain about the fact he managed to enjoy a full day by himself and get ready to receive you through the night. He'd gone grocery shopping, buying all the kinds of treats he knew you loved - or used to, as people could often change their personal taste over the years, but instead of seeing that with sadness, he felt glad to be able to learn something new about the woman he was madly in love with. He was going to go for some beer, but Joel thought again and decided to pick some wine, he just thought you were more of a wine kind of woman, more elegant than just cheap beer.

What you both hadn't counted on, was how hot the weather was, even if the sun had set down, it was still uncomfortable to remain inside, which made Joel suggest you both should move your date night to the swimming pool. At first you thought he was joking, but the stern look on his face told you he was being completely serious, and you thought it was a nice change. The way Joel took the bottle of wine, the glasses and simply began undressing without a word made you puzzled, until he turned around and told you to take off your clothes as well.

One skinny-dipping adventure and a quicky in his pool later, you both took sips of your wine, as you pressed yourself against him; Joel's arms were tight around your body as you rested your head on his chest, kissing it gently, and listening to his heartbeats, it was scary how out of the sudden, his arms became your favorite place in the world. You were far too deep into this story, and there was no way out without getting hurt, but that wasn't the time to think of that, you didn't want to have those kinds of thoughts, you wanted to spend your time with Joel and get lost into him, just as he was into you.

“Sarah told me you have a girlfriend” you blurted out, making Joel raise his eyebrow at you and looking down at you

“What?!”

“Well, she said you seemed happier lately, always texting someone, sneaking out here and there…” you chuckled “I wonder who that bitch is” Joel laughed at your comment, his hand sliding down your back and resting on your ass, squeezing it and then pecking your lips.

“She ain't no bitch, I can assure you that much” he said gently and nuzzled your neck “she's gorgeous, she's the best thing that's ever happened to me, well, after Sarah, of course, but still, and she was so kind to forgive me after everything I've done” his lips were back on your cheek and then on your lips “and I love her very much”

For a moment your whole world stopped. Joel loved you. He admitted it out loud, it wasn't just a matter of simple assumptions, but rather a concrete, explicit feeling. You opened your mouth looking at him hesitantly, what exactly should you say? What could you tell Joel? Did you love him back? If so, were you ready to admit it and face the consequences of getting back together with the man who caused the biggest emotional trauma of your life. Joel took his hands off your body and looked at you with a hint of disappointment, even if he didn't want to admit it, he was disappointed, he thought you shared the same feeling as he did, so he sighed and nodded.

“It's fine, you don't have to say it back…” he cleared his throat and swam to the ladder of the pool “it's getting a little chilly, I think we should get inside”

•••

A few days later, your conversation with Joel simply wouldn't leave your mind; you were in love with him, it was impossible for anyone not to notice, him included, and yet, you didn't understand why it was so hard for you to simply admit it. Perhaps, if you did it, then it would become real, and your relationship with him would stop being a fun, little secret shared by the two of you, but rather a concrete relationship between two adults, where you'd eventually have to come clean and open up to family, friends, you would celebrate birthdays and holidays, anniversaries and face several, typical questions coming from all sides, wondering if you would both remarry or have kids. It was overwhelming, but not as bad as how you were feeling at that moment. You felt guilty and embarrassed, and the paranoid side of you was convinced Joel had been avoiding you for the past week, whereas Sarah was at your place nearly everyday, still talking about Harry Styles and showing you countless pictures of the concert, he wouldn't text much nor insist to see you, even when you suggested him to sneak out late at night and go to yours, he politely declined by saying Tommy and him got a new big client and work was rushed and soul crushing. Of course he could be telling you the truth, he did sound exhausted on the phone and Sarah had mentioned Joel and Tommy had been arriving late most days, both of them covered in sweat and in such a bad mood due to the unbelievable amount of work they were having. Yet, what should make you feel calm and at ease, didn't help one bit, it was uncomfortable and depressing not having Joel around, you missed him, his touch, his body but mostly his presence. He'd been a constant in your life for the past months, and it was only taking a week for you to feel abandoned. It wasn't fair to you, and yet, it wasn't fair to him either, not when he declared his love for you and you couldn't even say it back. You placed your living room, not sure whether you should drive to his home or not, in fact, you knew you shouldn't, but you wanted to, because that particular day, not even Sarah showed up, and it made you sad. You were so attached to the little family destiny set apart for you, simply a day or two away from them was enough to cause a large wound in your heart. You looked around, looking for an excuse to show up at the Miller's household; until your eyes widened and you grinned to see Sarah's history book lying around your coffee table. It was the perfect excuse to go and see them! Perhaps you could even end up having dinner with them, and then make up an excuse about a flat tire or whatever, have Joel giving you a ride home and end up being railed by him in the back of his truck. The longing for Joel was increasing and all you wanted was to make things right by explaining him you did have feelings for him and you needed some time, but you were willing to make sacrifices in order to be with him, because you wanted to and it was important for you that he saw how appreciated he was by you.

On your way to Joel's, you stopped at a bakery you knew Sarah loved, thinking of all the delicious treats you could take so you'd keep your family spoiled, at least a little. You smiled at yourself the moment you chose a couple of cupcakes, cookies and the chicken pie Joel loved, thinking of how you were already addressing them as your family. The truth is that they were indeed your family, the connection you three had was strong, the bond you created with Sarah without even knowing for a fact who she was and later on all that passion for Joel surfacing after spending a decade buried deep inside of you. It was a waste of time fighting that, and you wanted to get to them as soon as possible, you'd been alone far too long, it was about time to yourself have one good thing, to break free and admit how happy you were next to the Millers. You loved them just as they loved you, and it made no sense to fight that feeling and pretend it didn't exist.

The ride wasn't long, there was hardly any traffic in the suburbs, most families were already inside, having dinner together as the sun had set and the street lights were all lit up, as you parked your car, you saw Joel's truck in the driveway and felt your chest tightening in anxiety and fear; if he was already home why didn't he call or text you? Maybe he was indeed avoiding you?! Joel wouldn't make the same mistake twice and push you away, would he? You shook your head, you had faith in him, faith you both had matured and were able to handle things by talking and being honest with each other; you licked your lips and sighed, knowing that whatever was going on could be solved by the two of you as two functional adults, besides, there were a bunch of explanations to why he hadn't talked to you that day yet, you shouldn't jump to conclusions and let your paranoia win once more. You got out of the car with the bag full of treats and walked to the front door, you knocked a couple of times and waited for an answer but nobody came. It was odd, as you could hear Joel's and Sarah's voices coming from inside, and even if you couldn't tell what they were saying your heart raced, your gut feeling telling you something was up and you couldn't wait any longer, silently opening the door and getting inside. You placed the bag of food down the coffee table as you could clearly hear what they were saying. It seemed Joel and Sarah were arguing, which was extremely odd, since you had never seen them have any kind of disagreement, they just had a real nice and healthy father and daughter relationship in which they both listened to each other and acted with respect. As you approached, you heard Sarah's cries and you were taken by worry, perhaps someone had died? You couldn't wait any longer, you rushed and got into the kitchen, confused at first at what had happened between them, Joel looked so overwhelmed, his face was red and he desperately tried to make a point while telling Sarah a bunch of information she could barely cope with, as she cried in disappointment and shook her head, not believing anything her dad was saying. Her heart was shattered with disappointment and sadness, she couldn't believe her dad, her hero, the man she loved and admired the most in her life had done such a thing.

On the kitchen table, a photograph taken on your wedding day was lying around. A younger version of yourself hugged a much younger Joel as you both stood in front of the courthouse, smiling widely at the camera. There was no way to deny it nor hide it. Sarah had found out about your previous connection god knows how and Joel seemed desperate as he wanted to explain himself to his daughter, he couldn't bear having her so disappointed in him like that, it shattered his heart into a million pieces.

“Sarah…” you whispered and tried touching her cheek, wanting to caress it gently and assure her everything was fine now, that what had happened was in the past and that her dad was still the best father a girl could ever wish for. But Sarah moved her face away from your touch, her eyes were glistening with tears as she seemed so heartbroken

“You both lied to me! Why did you lie?” She asked and you looked at Joel wanting to have some kind of support in order to reply to her question.

“Sarah, we are both sorry, but your dad and I have made up after what happened, I know it's a lot to take now but don't be upset please” you asked her, Joel nodded and wrapped his arm around your waist in order to show her things were fine between the two of you. He promised to talk to her and explain everything to her in detail, but she was just so upset, feeling betrayed by the person she admired and loved the most in the whole world. You knew there was nothing you both could do at that moment, not with Sarah being so nervous and upset, instead, you asked Joel to call Tommy and suggested that he took her out for ice cream or something, maybe have a little chat with his niece while you and Joel could sit down and figure the best way to tell her everything. It didn't take more than twenty minutes for his younger brother to arrive, Sarah had drunk some water and washed her face, leaving with Tommy as you sat next to Joel. You took his hand and caressed it, while he refused to look you in the eye, the guilt and shame once more eating him alive, and now it had become even worse, as his precious little Sarah had found out the truth about him in the worst way possible. All she needed was an old picture for her school project and going through Joel's old memory box should be enough, and then she came across the pictures of his wedding day. Not to her mom, but to you instead, and then it all made sense: why you were never willing to be around her dad, or how you decided to keep yourself away from any kind of relationship. Because the asshole you told her you'd married once, was simply her father. The good old Joel Miller, the man who had to raise his baby daughter on his own after she left him, and then, Sarah had found out her dad had been really bad to someone so dearly to her. You, you could've been married to her dad, you could've been her mom, she could've had a family all along.

You looked at Joel and wiped a single tear that rolled down his cheek, even if he tried to hide it.

“What are we doing now, Joel?”

“I don't know…”

____

A/N: what a ride, right besties? Remember, feedback is life ❤️

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butdaddyilovehim-hs · 9 months

Text

Tolerate It

Inspired by 'Tolerate It' by Taylor Swift :)

"I know my love should be celebrated... but you tolerate it."

Quite frankly, Y/N isn’t sure how much longer she can take this. It’s the second time this week Harry hasn’t been home for dinner and it’s only Wednesday. Y/N is normally fine looking after baby Elle by herself, she knows Harry has important things to do and people to meet and deals to close its just… lately he’s been different. More withdrawn, constantly at work and seemingly finding less and less time to spend with his wife and 6 month old daughter. That morning he had left in a whirlwind, pressing a quick, barely there kiss to her cheek before promising to be home for dinner at 7.

Y/N swirls what’s left in her wine glass as she glances over at the clock that reads 9:14. He’d be out for a while yet, she knew. Sighing, she puts his plate in the fridge, washing the dishes before getting ready for bed, popping into check on Elle. She smiles softly at the rise and fall of her daughter’s chest as she sleeps, leaning down and kissing her head then moving away from the crib and towards her own bedroom. It’s Y/N and Harry’s shared room but Y/N can’t remember the last time she actually woke up to Harry still in the room. Or the last time she fell asleep with him beside her.

Y/N intends to wait up for her husband but when her eyes flutter closed she can’t seem to stop them. They open after what only feels like minutes later when the bed dips on Harry’s side. She blinks sleepily, watching him slide into bed and prop himself up against the pillows, reading with his head low. She shuffles, catching his attention and when he meets her gaze, she smiles tiredly up at him.

“Hey. Thought you were going to be home for dinner?”

“Things got busy. Ate at the office.” He turns his attention back to the book he’s reading and Y/N’s smile droops.

“You could have called. I waited for you.”

Harry scoffs at her confession, rolling his eyes.

“Y/N I don’t have time to give you a call every time I’m going to be a bit late coming home. Get off my case, it’s fucking annoying.” His voice rises slightly in volume as he gets frustrated, but not loud enough to wake Elle in the next room.

“I’m not trying to be annoying H. I’m just saying that I missed you today and as your wife it would just be nice if you could let me know.” Y/N sighs, rolling over, her back to him as she tries to go back to sleep. Her breath hitches as she feels Harry come closer to her, kissing her shoulder before burying his face in her neck.

“Sorry my love, I didn’t mean to snap. I’m just really caught up lately.”

“I know you are.” Y/N tries to ignore the butterflies in her stomach as he sponges kisses on her neck, shoulders and then slowly down her arm.

“Tomorrow. Take Elle to my mum’s and I’ll be home around 5. Let’s make it a date night, just us.” At this, Y/N turns to face him, a small grin on her face.

“Yeah? Just us?”

“Just us bub. Promise I’ll be home in time and I’m all yours.”

Y/N believes him. So, she does what Harry says. Take’s Elle over to Anne’s around midday, the older woman over the moon to spend some extra time with her granddaughter. Around 2, her best friend makes a surprise visit to the house, finding Y/N slaving away in the kitchen.

“Are you cooking for 12?” Lucy laughs as Y/N rushes around putting finishing touches on what seems to be a ten course meal.

“No… just Harry and I. But I’m making all his favourites. I want tonight to be special for us. He’s been so busy with work lately.”

“What are you wearing?” Lucy smirks at Y/N who simply blushes.

“It’s on the bed.” She says referring to the lacy white lingerie set that Harry had bought her for their first anniversary. Lucy wolf whistles, causing Y/N to turn even redder.

“Lucky husband, that Harry of yours. Now hurry up and finish so we can have a glass of wine before he gets here and I have to go.”

Y/N grabs a bottle and the two women sit and chat for a few hours before Y/N realises it’s 10 to 5 and she needs to go and change. She kicks Lucy out as politely as possible before getting ready and waiting for Harry.

The clock ticks over to 5:00pm. Then 5:01pm. Then 5:20pm.

At 5:30pm, she calls. His phone is off.

At 6:00pm, she finishes a second bottle of wine, and then she calls again. His phone is still off.

At 6:17pm, Lucy sends her a link to an article and Y/N feels the sudden urge to throw up. Because the article is about Harry and the headline reads: Trouble in Paradise? Styles and Co CEO Harry Styles seen partying on a yacht with ex Kendall Jenner, just months after celebrating his third wedding anniversary and welcoming daughter Elle Styles.

The photos are incriminating. Kendall’s face in his neck, his hands around her waist. Kendall getting into a cab, leading Harry behind her.

Lucy calls. Y/N doesn’t answer.

At 8:15pm, Y/N picks herself up off the floor, goes upstairs, grabs a bag throws essential things inside for her and Elle and gets her keys.

That’s when the door opens and her husband walks, stumbles, through the front door.

“Sorry I’m late. Something smells good.” Harry’s words have a slight slur to them, she knows he’s been drinking but she can’t bring herself to care. He steps closer and she wrinkles her nose.

“You smell like her.” Y/N comments, willing herself not to cry.

“Who? Kendall?” Harry is suddenly ten times more alert, worry evident on his face.

“Nothing happened Y/N.” “Sure didn’t look like nothing. In fact the photos were… quite something.”

“Love… I don’t- I put her in a cab and she went home. It was supposed to be a quick meeting and then it turned into a yacht event and I know you wanted me home earlier but I-”

“This isn’t about me wanting you home earlier Harry. I wanted this night for us. Because we’re drifting apart and I don’t know what to do about it.”

“You’re being dramatic, I’ve just been busy.”

“You’ve been “busy” for 4 months Harry. Are you not in love with me anymore?” Y/N’s voice trembles but she holds his gaze. Harry feels his heart drop into the floor.

“…What?”

“Tell me it’s all in my head. Tell me I’m wrong.”

“Y/N calm down. You’re acting insane, of course I love you.”

“Harry, you make me feel annoying when all I want is for you to love me back as much as I love you! You just sit there and you… you just tolerate me. And I don’t deserve that. I sit here in this stupid mansion you bought for us with our daughter who probably doesn’t even know that you’re her father because you’re never around. I just sit here and I wait with Elle. For you to come home to me, for you to tell me you need me as much as I need you. And I don’t think I can do it anymore.” She pushes past him to the garage and he grabs her wrist gently. “Y/N. Baby where are you going?”

“Bit late for the pet names H. Don’t you think?” She scoffs.

“I need space. Come find Elle and I if you think you’re going to be able to show up for us, because I don’t feel the need to explain to our daughter why she doesn’t have a fucking dad.”

Harry steps back, looking at her helplessly as her words cut him deep.

“Bye Harry.”

Read Part II here

Tags:

@lukesaprince @harryspirate @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @lilyrmason12 @styleslover-1994 @stylesfever @kathb59 @indierockgirrl @bxbyysstuff @gills-lounge

#harry styles #hslot #love on tour #harry styles au #harrystyles #harry styles fic #harry styles fics #harry styles smut #harry styles x fem!reader #harry styles ceo

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gallavichsreddie1128 · 3 months

Text

The Twist (Will Graham)

Description: Hannibal meets Will's wife that he didn't know Will had. He figures out the dark reason why Will kept her a secret.

Word count: 2,555k

He shot up in sweat panting hard, his body shaking as he panted and looked around. He constantly had nightmares about the cases he was investigating. It never got better for him. “Will, are you okay?” She asked, sitting up with him and rubbing his sweaty back. That was until she came along. His beautiful Y/N. She made everything better for him. Sure he still had nightmares but she calmed him after. “Yeah, just another one.” He said, referring to his ongoing terror. She had gotten used to it all. After all they’ve been together for years she even had a ring on her finger. “You’re okay.” She told him. They laid back down in the bed together. He let out a sigh and pulled the girl to his chest.

Hannibal was in awe at the sight before him. He made dinner and invited Will over and Will brought a guest that wasn’t a co-worker but a woman. The woman was young, maybe 25 ish. She was beautiful and had a ring on her finger. Not just any ring but a wedding ring. He knew Will wasn’t married so why did he bring this woman to their dinner. It was then he looked at Will’s hands and saw a matching ring. Hannibal wasn’t one to be shocked but certainly was at this point. The woman and Will engaged in a deep conversation in front of him as he observed while getting the food ready. She wore a smile as the man talked. Her eyes lit up and she did look in love.

Hannibal could see that smile never grew all the way and her eyes weren’t that lit. “Well nice to meet you..” He trailed off not knowing her name. “Y/N Graham.” She said. Hannibal smiled at her. “Didn’t know Will had a wife.” He said as he eyed Will. Will looked nervous but why? “Yeah we’ve been married for 3 years.” She said. Will was older than her that Hannibal knew. She was 22 when they got married and 20 when they had began dating. Will was 14 years older than her. Hannibal was fascinated by what Y/N was saying. “You’re a very good cook.” She tells the man. He thanked her but couldn’t get passed the fact that Will was married. And why would he hide it?

Hannibal saw more of her as the days went on. Observing her every move. She seemed to calm Will when things got bad. Though Hannibal couldn’t shake the feeling that something else was going on. “So you have a wife and I’m just now knowing about it.” He confronted Will. “Yeah well I wanted to keep her out of my work.” Will said sipping the wine. “What work? I’m your physiatrist Will a friend even.” Will shrugged at his response. He didn’t talk about her much even when Hannibal already knew. He seemed to be avoiding the subject like it was a secret still. Hannibal decided to drop the topic and move on but kept the thought of how Will acted about her in the back of his mind.

Will had just killed someone. He had been having these dark thoughts for awhile but he actually did it. The dogs were going wild as he killed what looked like a human dressed as an animal. Y/N shot up from their bed and looked to see that Will wasn’t in the bed. The dogs barked loudly as she got up to see what was going on. She gasped as she saw Will panting and someone on the ground. “Will?” She called out to him. He faced her with a dark look in his eyes, one she remembered seeing before. “You weren’t supposed to see that.” He tells her and walks up to her. Her body was shaking in fear and she almost ran up the stairs away from him. But she knew better than to do that. He pulled her into his chest as he sighed. She managed to relax some in his arms. “It was self defense baby, he was going to kill me.” He whispered. She sighed and fell deeper into him. Maybe everything would be alright.

Hannibal stared at the body that Will brought him. It was the latest killer. He looked at Will and saw darkness in his eyes. Will enjoyed killing him. It was in that moment that Hannibal knew Will had a dark side that his little wife was part of. “You wanna talk about it?”

Will’s hands were shaking as he sighed. He never told a soul about what happened. He couldn’t believe he was about to tell Hannibal. He started at the beginning of when they met:

It was 5 years ago at the store a cliche type deal. He saw her looking at dog food and deciding which one to get. She looked focused. Too focused to notice Will staring at her. “Do you need some help?” He asked her. She looked at him and smiled. At that moment he knew he was in love. “You have dogs?” She asked. He nodded. “Yeah lots of them.” He tells her. He didn’t get her name that day but he secretly followed her through the store and saw what car she got into. He kept track of her after that. He knew her every move. Where she worked, what she ate and her special coffee order she would get every morning. He felt bad about what he was doing but he wasn’t going to take rejection.

Which is how she ended up tied to a chair in his basement. She was knocked out with tape covering her mouth. He sat in a chair across from her watching her for what felt like hours before she woke. She groaned as she slowly opened her eyes adjusting to the light. He watched as she looked at him and her eyes widen. “Hello beautiful.” He smiled. She remembered him. He helped her pick out dog food. She didn’t know his name. But he tied her to this chair in a basement? She didn’t care to know anything about him. “You were asleep for awhile.” He says and pushes his chair closer to her. Her eyes held the widen stare and she felt scared. What the hell was he going to do with her?

His hand reached forward and ran through her hair. She tried to flinch away from his touch and he laughed. “I wish things would have been different for us.” He whispered as his hand traveled down her body. She hated his touch and wanted to get away from it. But he got her tied up pretty good. “I should have just went up to you like a normal person but we both know that I couldn’t.” Why couldn’t he? This was crazy. He had a dark look in his eyes as he played with her some more. Tears welled up in her eyes as she watched him. “Oh no baby don’t cry.” He wiped her tears away. “You’ll love it here and me.” He told her so sure of it.

It took months for her to even talk to him. He gave her good food and water and tried to get her to see that he wasn’t a monster. She knew things could be worse but still she wasn’t a fan of him either way. She cried for hours not wanting to believe that she was in this situation. Her eyes hurt from how much cried and prayed that her family came looking for her. Will sat by the basement door and listened to her cry. He felt awful for his actions but in his head he didn’t have a choice. Her sobs racked through the house and all he wanted to do was comfort her.

“Y/N.” She whispered to him as he placed the food he made for her in front of her. He looked up at her. “What?” “My name is Y/N.” She told him. He smiled and nodded. “I’m Will.” She stayed silent as he finished setting up her dinner. She hated herself for thinking he was cute. He kidnapped her and she still thought he looked good. Though she wouldn’t imagine herself saying that outloud to him.

After that they slowly began talking. She felt like she owed him that due to him being kind to her. He could be an asshole to her and not really feed her and abuse her. He didn’t though. He was grateful that she didn’t seem to really hate him.

It would be months before he let her outside of the basement and into the living room. He had enough trust with her that she wouldn’t try to escape. She felt like she couldn’t. He was smarter than that. She looked around at the place seeing how beautiful his house was. The dogs that he owned came and tackled her to the ground. She began laughing for the first time in months. Will was happy to hear that sound.

She sat and watched him cook. He seemed very calm and collected it was hard to believe he had kidnapped her. He felt her eyes on him and he looked up at her. She quickly looked away. He smiled and thought it was cute. Maybe there could be something more for them. He sat down the food he made for her and she took a bite. She almost moaned at the taste. It was super good. “You know you’re a really good cook.” She tells him. “I mean my kidnapper could have been someone that was terrible at cooking.” She said. He looked at her weird and laughed. He didn’t expect her to make a joke out of the situation. “Yeah I’m sorry about that.” He said and started eating his food. “Why’d you do it then?” She asked. He looked at her. “I found you really beautiful and I guess I just couldn’t take the rejection I felt like you’d give me.” He tells her. It was the truth and she could tell. “So you find a girl pretty and you want her so instead of asking her out you kidnap her?” She asked. He nodded. “Yeah I guess so.” “Well I might’ve said yes.” She tells him. She felt like in another life she would have said yes if he asked her out instead of kidnapping her. “What about now?” He asked her.

Their first kiss happened a week later after he came home from a stressful case. He wasn’t in the mood for anything other than sleep. Though he was happy he had Y/N at home waiting for him. He opened the door and greeted the dogs and looked around. She didn’t greet him at the door. Not that he thought she should. It was after his shoes were off that she came over to him. He smiled at her and she looked at him. “Welcome Home.” was all she said. “Thanks.” was his reply. He could tell something was off with her as she never greeted him. Sure they talked a little each day but that was a big step. “You okay?” He asked her. She shrugged. She honestly didn’t think she was. She was starting to feel like she wasn’t a victim anymore. Like he saved her life and she owed him. She didn't wanna think about it but she had feelings for the man. “I’m sorry.” He said. “Then why not let me go?” She asked him. “I can’t.” “I won’t go to the police or tell anyone.” She tries to reason with him. “Yeah well I don’t know that.” He snaps at her. She looks at him shocked. He hadn’t raised his voice to her yet. “Sorry I just truly can’t help but still want you around.” He tells her. She sighs and thoughts race around her head. She got what he was saying. She felt the same way as sick as it was. She wanted him too. “I probably wouldn’t go even if you let me.” She mumbles. He heard her and his jaw dropped. She had Stockholm syndrome. He walked closer to her. “But why? Why wouldn’t you want freedom?” He asked her.

She felt stupid. She looked down for a moment. “I don’t know Will, I guess I like it here and I like you.” She tells him. He smiled at her words but knew that the reason she felt that way wasn’t okay. “I think I’m gonna let you go.” He said and walked away. She looked confused and turned to him. “What? I don’t understand you kidnap me because you wanted to date me and now that i’m telling you the feeling is mutual you want to let me go.” He sighs. “You feel that way cuz you don’t have a choice.” He tells her. She walks over to him. “You can’t tell me how to feel or why I feel the way I do.” “Y/N I put you through this and I’m sorry.” He says. She shakes her head with tears in her eyes. “Will please I love you.” He looked at her. She was sure that she loved him and she stopped denying it long ago. She cupped his face. “Please Will. I love you.” He had tears in his eyes as he leaned down and kissed her. She kissed back immediately confirming what she said to him. He loved her too and that was all that mattered.

Their relationship was perfect after that. She felt as if she hadn’t been kidnapped but saved. Will still wanted to keep her from the world that he was in. He didn’t want anyone in the work field knowing about her. She was able to leave the house of course but never met any of his friends or co-workers. She questioned if the man even had friends. He never talked or hung out with anyone unless it was work related. He spent most of his time with her.

It was a year later he’d have a ring on her finger. They had a small quiet wedding that consisted of them and the dogs. Not even their parents knew that they had gotten married. Will wasn’t ashamed of her by any means. He was ashamed of what he did. Though she seemed happy in the back of their minds they knew that things would have happened differently if he didn’t kidnap her.

Hannibal looked at the man as he told him everything. He knew that Will had a dark mind but didn’t think it was this dark. He remembered back to when she first smiled. He knew that something was off and now that he knows everything it all makes sense. Though he couldn’t help but question Will as if he wouldn’t do the same. “You kidnapped your wife?” He asked. Will nodded. “I was in a very dark place.” They both knew that wasn’t an excuse for his behavior. But Hannibal couldn’t help but praise the man before him. It was genius in his eyes. Will had the perfect love life it seemed and Hannibal couldn’t help but feel jealous. Though he didn’t know who to be jealous of more. He nodded his head and lifted up his glass of wine. “We aren’t so different after all, are we, Will?”

I didn't include the warning due to the twist of the story. I also don't know Will's exact age as I haven't finished the show yet. I just started season 3 :) Feel free to let me know his age if they ever say it and I'll update it.

#hugh dancy #will graham #will graham x reader #will graham imagine #hannibal lecter #hannibal #hannibal nbc #mads mikkelsen #will graham x you

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itsajollyjester · 6 months

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yessss that defo answers my questions! ur thoughts on compassion & community intertwined w rebellion definitely show up in ur art lol. something more specific i have been curious abt is ur version of the endings of each specific hunger games & ur characterization/portrayal of the victors at those points! if u have any more thoughts abt any of those characters or their games id love to hear.... im also very not neurotypical abt hunger games

For sure!! But this is a novel and a half so I apologize in advance (also most of this is from memory so anyone can correct me if I'm getting any details wrong)

((TW: For visual depictions of Blood, Gore, and Wounds))

I realized I'd seen barely any art showing what the victors would have looked like when they won their games. They were all just kids and I feel like it can be easy to forget that sometimes

For all of them, I made the background one of their main "weapons" but tried to make it look like its turning back on them instead since there are no victors as Haymitch said.

I'll try to explain them all more in depth individually going in the order I drew them:

Finnick Odair, 65th Games:

His main weapons were his trident and nets that he made with vines. His background is one of the nets ready to trap him.

Finnick was the youngest victor ever at only 14. I really really wanted to emphasize just how little that is. (Especially since we know exactly why the Capitol loved him from the start…) Once I actually drew him looking that little I had to step away for a bit because I made myself too sad…

Outside of just how horrific his age is as a concept, I tried to think about what circumstances would lead to him actually winning when surrounded by older tributes. I think he would have had to avoid any kind of fight he didn't have the upper hand in. We know that he got the most expensive sponsor gifts in the history of the games (a trident), so he probably got plenty of sponsors outside of that as well. Because of that I doubt he needed to go looking for supplies much if ever so it was easy to avoid people there. He was also probably in a career pack, despite his age, due to his training and his popularity, and they would have hunted other tributes down together much like the one we saw in the first book (safer in numbers). Once it was narrowing down and the pack broke is when I think he started catching people in nets. All of that is a long winded way of saying that's why, unlike the other victors I drew, I only show him with minor cuts and bruises.

Originally I was going to draw him with a kind of strained smile like he was acting for an audience from the start. But I decided I actually think its sadder if he believed he was popular because of his skill and strategy as a fighter and only learned the whole truth after he won and that's when he started acting more for the camera. Instead I gave him a more muted despair kind of look, like his world is crashing down. One of my favorite parts about the movies, mainly THG and ABOSAS, is when they give the career tributes at the end a moment of realization about what they've done, and I wanted to give Finnick his. I'm a person that believes Finnick had to have volunteered for his games. I think he would have legitimately believed in the propaganda the career districts were fed and had a bit of a (very middle school boy) ego about his abilities. (I was NOT expecting to write so much about his lmao)

Enobaria, 62nd Games

She's most well known for ripping someones throat out with her teeth. (Her background is her sharpened teeth getting ready to eat her.) This is treated by The Capitol, and by Katniss, as grotesque and terrifying blood lust (Which obviously the Capitol loves her for). However, and I'm not at all the first to say it, that sounds more like a terrified and desperate attempt to survive a fight she was losing and an example of hysterical strength. We know that Career packs have had bloody betrayals in the past and I can see Enobaria being a part of one of them. Enobaria doesn't have a canonical age, but I decided to put her on the younger side (15 or 16.) I can imagine some of the older, bigger tributes deciding she was the weakest link towards the end and that was the result. I tried to make the blood around her mouth and down her shirt look more faded, like she tried desperately to wipe it off (Also I had to step away from drawing again after I drew her little tooth gap)

I think she probably leaned into the bloodthirsty image afterwards as a way to protect herself and (maybe even started to believe it too)

Annie Cresta, 70th Games

Annie's known for losing her mind after seeing her district partner decapitated in front of her. After that, she ran off and hid until the game makers started an earth quake, which made the large dam in the arena break and cause a huge flood. Annie was the only survivor because she was the strongest swimmer. So I decided to make her background dark water that's churning up and over her head. I also think it can work well as a way to show her mental state in the moment (and afterwards) Annie is actually one of my favorite characters in the series and I've been writing out a plan for a possible comic series about her that'll go more in depth about my headcanons for her. (when I say comic series, I mean sketches and oneshots, not a full thing lmao) It wouldn't take place during her games (outside of a few flashbacks when I need more context), instead it would start at her Victory Tour and go into her first (and last) year as a mentor for the 71st Games. Which is a perfect segue to-

Johanna Mason, 71st Games

Johanna is actually first mentioned early on in the first book when Katniss is wondering if the reason Peeta is crying is because he plans to act weak and helpless as a strategy in the games. (Katniss, he just found out he has to fight in a murder tournament with his crush. He's just Sad.) She bases her theory on Johanna, who pretended she was a "sniveling, cowardly fool" in the arena until the final stretch of the games when she proved to be deadly with an axe.

OR….. Katniss is an unreliable narrator and Johanna was actually a terrified kid from a district with so few victors that she was the only name in the bowl for the Quarter Quell… This is totally just a personal headcanon of mine tho lol. I think there would have been a point in her games where she realized she actually had a chance and that's when she seemingly had a huge character turn around. Maybe there was a infighting with the careers that ended in multiple deaths and there was only a few left along with any other tributes hiding away like her. Maybe she poked around what was left of their camp, found the axe, and felt strength from her district.

Her background was a little harder for me. Just slapping a big axe behind her felt cheesy. But them I remembered her saying there was no one left that she loved. So instead I put trees that could represent her loved ones (Two fully grown trees, a younger "teenage" tree, and a sapling) that are in the process of being cut down.

Haymitch Abernathy, 50th Games

Don't worry, I'm almost done. I don't have as much to say about Haymitch since we know SO much about what happened in his games. But his background was probably the hardest for me. His main weapon was invisible after all. I thought maybe the axe that was used, but again, That would look cheesy. I tried (and kinda failed imo) to draw the cliff side the force field was on instead. But the main thing I did was split the three panels I had on the previous drawings into six for two reasons. 1: Because he had to face twice as many tributes in order to win and 2: Being the only victor of a district that's tributes are seen as fodder for the blood bath means he had to meet and watch the death of twice as many kids every year.

#tw blo0d #tw g0re #tw wounds #the hunger games #catching fire #mockingjay #hunger games fanart #hunger games headcanon #thg series #ask #finnick odair #enobaria #annie cresta #johanna mason #haymitch abernathy #jolly art #long post

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bi-disaster-yn · 2 years

Text

Female Rage

Paring: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Summary: Bucky thinks it’s a success when the team manage to uncover a Hydra human trafficking operation targeting women and girls. Reader knows it’s only a drop in the ocean of patriarchal violence towards women.

A/N: This was very cathartic for me to write. I carry around all these feelings and fanfic allows me to outlet them. Thanks for being part of it <3

⚠️ WARNING ⚠️ This fic discusses systematic issues around violence towards women and has mentions of trafficking, sexual violence, domestic abuse and murder.

The sirens, the flashing blue lights, and all of the people around you overwhelmed your senses. Your body became a mere vessel which moved without any control or instruction. A part of your soul had died but you had to keep going.

All around you were women and young girls who, just an hour prior, were being held in a lorry and were being trafficked to a covert Hydra base. The purpose of the operation was an early stage attempt to revive the Red Room but with a team of you, Bucky, Sam and Yelena you were able to put a stop to it.

Having managed to track the lorry down to the specific coordinates, you infiltrated the mission. They had been driving on a long and quiet country road, seemingly hidden by the cascades of giant trees in an extensive woodland. A nasty fight with the Hydra agents ensued when you and Yelena caught up with them in an Audi, while Bucky met them head on with a motorcycle and Sam flew in and took the roof. It concluded with them being hauled away in handcuffs but you wish you’d killed them.

Then came the aftermath.

The scene seemed to be carrying on around you without any of your input, as though you could disappear and nothing would have changed. Government officials, policemen and ambulances had arrived to assist in getting these women to safety. You were supposed to be directing them to safe points, instructing the paramedics and police officers on what to do next but the more you tried to focus, the harder it got.

Each time one of the victims thanked you, it sent an ugly shudder down your spine. An abnormally large shaped lump swelled in your throat, rendering a response impossible. All you could offer was a solemn nod, which somehow, they managed to receive your true meaning. An unspoken understanding that could only be shared between women endured throughout all of your exchanges.

Bucky and Sam were still capable of focus as they liaised with officers and helped women, offering more words of encouragement than you or Yelena ever could. Every now and then, Bucky flashed you an encouraging smile, clearly proud of what you were able to achieve today. It was something you couldn’t return.

Ringing in your ears persisted and you flinched as more sirens arrived. You moved without purpose, trying to point in different directions to aid the girls to paramedics if they needed medical attention, and to a police officer if not. Even then, a peculiar feeling churned in your stomach as you stared at the officers, who were all men and mentally cursed that no one in the police department had thought to send any women to this scene. Effectively, it felt like you were passing these girls from one evil, male-dominated organisation to another.

A strong sense of injustice built up tension in your body, harbouring an overpowering reaction, which you were unsure if you could suppress for much longer.

The match in the powder barrel, however, was witnessing a girl who couldn’t have been older than 14 sheltering and comforting two little girls who were terrified and crying for their mother. At first glance, it appeared as though the little ones had no relation to her whatsoever. Yet, this girl had adopted this maternal role which she was far too young to accept. As soon as you saw them safely situated in an ambulance, you decided you couldn’t take this anymore.

Passing by everyone and ignoring calls from Sam, you stormed into the woods, descending deeper and deeper into the trees and the natural beauty of Mother Nature.

You couldn’t remember when you started crying, you just knew that tears streamed down your cheeks. The combination of the tears and the intense headache they brought blurred your vision. You brought your hands to your head and wailed, knowing that no one would hear you.

You thought about how those girls had now secured this trauma and although the Hydra mission hadn’t been completed, this ordeal would alter the courses of their lives forever. This would manifest itself in different ways in all of their lives. They’d never be able to live without the memory of this ever again, tainting their experiences, putting them on their guard, making them cautious of the world and what monsters harboured amongst the humans among them. Honestly, you preferred your chances against Thanos than the men that walked this Earth.

That very concept made you angry. No, not angry. Incandescent.

The lump in your throat was surpassed by a bloodcurdling scream, the sound of which was so terrifying that the birds from the trees desperately flew away in a flock.

It was the only sound that could be heard for miles. All your rage was buried deep inside these woods like it had been in your body for years.

At this moment, this is all you were capable of. You continued to scream despite the scratch it created in your throat, or the fact it had worsened your headache. There was just so much rage contained in your body and you needed to get it out of you, no matter what it took. It was a fury so specific; so intertwined with womanhood and the female experience that no cisgender man could ever comprehend it.

It was female rage.

You were in so much pain. While yesterday you had been wrapped up with Bucky under a blanket, watching TV, eating food, having sex, doing all the normal things one does in a relationship; somewhere else at the same time, this operation was starting. It wouldn’t have been the only one. You were having a carefree day with your boyfriend while elsewhere in the world, men were committing atrocities against women – whether at a systematic level or a domestic one.

You squeezed your eyes shut in aid of your screams. Still without any control, your limbs moved on their own as you started to violently kick and punch one of the trees. Any injury sustained from this frantic display didn’t matter to you. The harsh bark of the tree broke the skin of your knuckles and soon it was decorated with your blood.

The screams and cries persisted as you channelled this anger into the assault of the tree. You were picturing those Hydra agents with the smug grin on their faces. You pictured the man that groped you in the club without your consent on your last girls’ night. You pictured the images of those incels you had curiously watched interviews with but had to turn your laptop off halfway through. You pictured the men who had refurbished the compound and had stared at you as you trained in the garden. You pictured every man who had ever questioned your ability to keep your emotions in check as a female Avenger.

You pictured them all and you desperately wanted them all to know how fucking helpless and infuriating this all felt. You wanted them to feel the weight of the world just as you had done from being a little girl.

Without warning, some force had pulled you back from the tree and had hauled you close into a smothering embrace. In spite of your blurred vision and your relentless howling, you recognised Bucky’s smell immediately as he held you close to his chest, grabbing your hands and holding them tightly together with his vibranium hand and using his flesh one to put your face in his neck. You struggled against him, feeling suffocated and not having abolished nearly as much fury as you needed to.

“Please, doll, please stop. You’re going to hurt yourself.” Bucky mumbled against your forehead, pressing several gentle kisses to it.

Nevertheless, you still fought against him. But Bucky was too strong for you and even in the arms of your beloved, you were still trapped by a man.

“Bucky. Let. Me. Go.” You shakily told him with gritted teeth.

“I’m scared to, sweetheart. Your hands… look at them.” He sobbed back, clearly in distress. A quick glimpse at your hands validated his concern. The skin round your knuckles had been torn open and in amongst the blood and mangled flesh lay splinters and chips from the tree.

It wasn’t sore, but the rest of your body was.

“I don’t understand, doll. Did something happen back there to upset you? You saved those girls. We wouldn’t have been able to do that mission without you.” Bucky said gently, loosening his grip only slightly to cradle you lovingly, rather than to protectively restrain you.

It triggered a scoff and even further anger from you.

“That’s not the point! The point is it keeps happening! We saved those girls today, sure. But somewhere out there, another one of those operations is starting and more girls will be hurt. Those operations are going on round the world, Bucky! They want us to be slaves to them in any way they can think of – whether that is to be used as a weapon or for sex or as working mules!

And these men, they’re so fucking clever! They’re making this untraceable! And we won’t be able to save them all. It’s never-ending, we’re trying to scoop up water from the ocean!”

Whether you intended it or not, the words came out as a yell and Bucky let you go. Clearly, none of this had ever occurred to him and your fury scared him. Meanwhile, your hand gestures went wild as you spoke, your facial expressions became more animated. This was only the beginning as your thoughts continued to spill out to the unassuming and gentle man you loved so much.

“And this? This is worst case scenario! Every single day women are subject to the violence of men! We’ve saved those girls, right? And we’re gonna do what? Give them normal homes so they can walk about with their keys in their hands?! We handed them over to fucking police officers who themselves have a history of being violent towards women. The cycle repeats itself!

That’s not the end of it though, these men are in our homes with us. They are beating us, raping us, killing us. We can’t escape them. The good ones aren’t signposted – we just have to trust you and it is the biggest and deadliest risk that we all take.”

Bucky nodded along with you, processing your words and affording you as much space to speak as possible. At first, he was just relieved that you hadn’t resumed your beating on the tree. Then, he began to really listen to you and consume your words and your fury. It horrified him.

In truth, he always appreciated that there was a disproportionate tendency in violence to women and that the world existed on a patriarchal system and that some men were just sexist pigs. Admittedly, this had gotten a lot better than things were in the 40s. However, he had never truly really given it much thought or considered how to change any of it. That was just the way things were. How does one go about revolutionising an entire system? Especially one that appeared to be changing over time as he had suspected.

He took a step forward, holding his arms out for you in case you needed some sanctuary. It was an offer you refused, standing awkwardly and wiping away your tears with the sleeve of your mission jacket. Attempts to comfort you at this point were futile.

“I’m sorry, doll. I have never thought about it like that. I guess it’s because I’ve never had to.” Bucky began with a sympathetic look. “But you can’t do this all by yourself. You did something so good today and you should be proud of yourself for it.”

You sank to your knees, planting your palms in the dirt below you to try and restore some strength to your frail frame. He was right, but he’d never truly understand.

“I just feel so helpless, Bucky. I feel like I’m drowning and every time I put my head above water, someone pulls me back down again.” You explained with fresh, stinging tears. “I’m a fucking Avenger and even I can’t stop this.”

Bucky knelt on the ground in front of you with a sigh, knowing that no matter what he did, he couldn’t make this better for you. It killed him to see his girl so heartbroken and defeated while he could do nothing about it.

“Those girls we saved are going to tell you their stories and you’re going to be upset and you’ll cry for them because you know what it’s like on a human level to be captured and forced to do something you don’t want to do. But you will never understand this pain and fear on a systematic level like I do! To know that you’re inherently in danger just because you were born a woman. I need to stop it. But I don’t know how.”

This time, when Bucky took you in his arms, you let him. The early exertions had exhausted your body and now you were ready to bury your face into his neck, inhaling his comforting scent and feeling safe. The venting had alleviated some of the pain but it still persisted, bubbling discreetly under the surface of your skin, ready to boil again when you were next pushed.

Bucky pressed a loving kiss to the top of your head. He appreciated that there was nothing he could say to make you feel better. Instead, he offered himself to you as comfort to take from him what you needed. The real effects of your headache and bloody knuckles came into fruition and you clenched your fists to deal with the physical pain while Bucky rocked you in a comforting motion.

“Promise me one thing, sweetheart?” Bucky asked and took your hum as permission to keep talking. “Promise me that no matter how tough this all gets; you don’t let it consume you. You are the best person I know and I will follow you into any mission, battle or war for this. But please don’t hurt yourself over it or try and deal with it on your own. I love you, please let me help. Tell me how I can be better.”

You held him so tightly that you might crush him, grateful for his support and his pledge of allegiance to your cause. Blinking away tears that threatened to fall you nodded against his neck so that he knew you had understood him.

“I promise. And, Bucky?”

“Yeah?”

“Just know that all this anger and hatred I have towards men and how they treat us never applies to you.”

“Thank you, sweetheart.”

Bucky held you there in that spot in the woods for what felt like hours until he eventually carried you home. Fatigue had overpowered your body but your brain was still active, already plotting and planning what you were going to do next and how you were going to use your Avenger status as an advantage.

You wouldn’t change the system overnight but you were going to do everything in your power to rally up as much support as possible. The pain and anger that was deep rooted inside you was converted to raw energy and you had the appetite to make a difference.

Female rage is a powerful thing.

#bucky barnes #mcu bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x fem!reader #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes imagine #marvel fanfiction #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes drabble #bucky barnes fic #fatws bucky x reader #james bucky barnes #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan #female rage #feminist reader

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urrockstar-xe · 1 year

Text

got your back - j.m x fem!reader

posted may 16th, 2023 2:13 pm

anon asked: HII for your summer lovin requests how about prompt 9 “don’t have enough middle fingers to tell you how I feel” and 14 “i’m personally offended you didn’t get me to be your fake date” with JJ maybank with an enemies to lovers arc🤭 (fem!reader please!) thank you so much 🫶

9:“I don’t have enough middle fingers to tell you how I feel” | 14“I’m personally offended that you didn’t get me to be your fake date”

picked gorgeous bc i thought it fit :))

this is my first writing enemies to lovers so i'm so sry if it's not that great but i tried and it's kinda cute imo lmfao, it's also Not at ALL canon. i hope you enjoy, ty for requesting *heart* (it glitches out whenever i put an actual heart) - xx

masterlist

word count: 1.4k

“I’m personally offended that you didn’t get me to be your fake date” You glared at JJ as he spoke, earning a wink in return before you looked back at John B.

“You’re working the event so I’m the fake date,” John B explained, though no explanation was needed.

“We really have to do all of this? Can’t Sarah just hang with us tomorrow? It’s not like we have all summer or anything” Kie teased. Sarah had this kook party with a bunch of adults and fancy alcohol and appetizers that she really did not want to attend, and because John B had to save the damsel in distress, he devised a plan to whisk her away into the night.

“Hey, why aren’t you going?” Pope asked, looking at Kiara. “My parents have to sort out something for the restaurant tonight”

“Meaning, Kiara is our getaway driver” John B smiled, confident in his planning abilities. Pope looked back at John B, “Heyward’s not working this event, what do I do?” John B then looked at JJ, hoping he’d come up with something on the spot. You sighed as Kie stood up.

“You could just chill in the Twinkie with me while we wait or something?” She shrugged, John B clapped his hands together, “Yes that’s perfect!”

“Alright, guess that’s what I’m doing then,”

“Great! We’re all ready then?” John B asked, backing up as he looked at his friends. “Yeah, Jb you can come get ready at mine,” You said, almost missing the look of distaste on JJ’s face as you spoke, John B nodded in response. “See you all there then?” Everyone agreed, settling on this unnecessary plan.

Two hours had passed before you finally made it to the Cameron residence, you and John B spotted Sarah almost immediately, she was helping her sister with something. You tried to stay tuned in to what John B was explaining but you were sidetracked, looking for JJ among the group of kooks. Once you spot him you sighed, almost with relief? No, JJ was reckless and kooks were scary. You were just glad to know he’d be on your side if any of Topper’s friends managed to corner you. At least you had hoped he would be on your side, sure you bickered a lot but you were pogues and when it came to a kook, you’d have each other’s backs.

You watched as he charismatically smiled and laughed at any of the dumb jokes made by the older kooks there, no doubt hoping to earn a few tips before you all had to make your exit. His hair slightly bounced whenever he moved and his skin looked pretty with the orange and yellow hue thanks to the sunset, he looked pretty all fancied up.

You jumped at the sound of John B’s voice snapping you out of whatever trance you were just in, you felt his hand on your shoulder. “You okay?” you looked up at your friend, nodding in response. He nodded with you, looking over your face as if to check if you were lying before he held up a small folded piece of paper. “I’m gonna go get this to JJ, you stay here or mingle or whatever, I’ll be back in like 5 minutes.” He explained, not giving you much time to answer before he walked away.

Looking back in the direction of JJ you saw him already looking at you, he winked at you before he downed one of the cups on his tray and continued his best act yet. You scoffed, not being able to help the smile on your face.

You watched as John B tried to be stealthy, giving the note to JJ before turning in your direction and motioning behind him, implying he was going to the Twinkie. You raised your hands in a “what do you mean?” motion as a response and got a shrug in return before John B turned and made his way out of sight, leaving you alone.

You sighed and attempted to look for Sarah among the people there, hoping you could make the escape with her. You found her not too long into searching, she was talking to JJ, well She was talking, JJ was just handing her the note and then almost dancing away.

Before you could get to her she was already gone, following the direction you had just watched Jb leave in. “fuck” you muttered to yourself, hands falling to your sides in defeat as you examined the crowd once more for the familiar blonde.

You watched as he walked inside, assuming he was trying to leave without getting interrupted by anyone wanting a fresh drink. This was your last chance to not have to worry about finding the Twinkie on your own so you practically ran trying to catch up to him.

Hearing the voice of Rafe stopped you dead in your tracks, and the way JJ responded meant Rafe was intentionally starting shit, but that of course didn’t surprise you.

The situation was obviously escalating so, taking a breath in, you began walking again, straight into the lion's den. “Hey,” the sound of your voice caught JJ’s attention first, he was currently pinned against the wall thanks to the oldest Cameron sibling being on a power trip. JJ’s busted lip was clear as day from where you stood, finally, Rafe turned to you absolutely fuming.

“Fuck are you doing here?”

You crossed your arms over your chest hoping it didn’t look like you were shielding yourself from him before responding. “Don’t you have something better to do than pick on a teenage boy?” Your tone was harsh and mean, exactly how you wanted it to sound.

JJ’s eyes flicked between you and Rafe for a minute before Rafe let him go, his eyes not leaving yours as he did so. JJ looked back at you, not missing the way your harsh demeanor faltered ever so slightly once Rafe was no longer preoccupied with JJ. “C’mon, J, they’re waiting for us” Your eyes remained locked on Rafe as you spoke, JJ nodded, “Good talk, man,” he said, making his way to your side before you grabbed his hand and practically dragged him out of there.

Your hands were still interlocked when you made it far away from the house enough to yell at him. “What the fuck was that about JJ?” he shrugged, “you know how Rafe gets, he needed a punching bag” “How come that punching bag always ends up being you?” “Must have a crush on me or somethin’” he joked, a smile covering his lips. You scoffed.

“Did you at least get one good hit in?” his smile grew bigger at the question, “oh yeah, nice big ol’ bruise will be on his jaw within an hour” You smiled at this, rolling your eyes and shifting your gaze behind the boy instead of on him. “Worried about me, mama?” his tone was teasing. “You get murdered on my watch I’ll be cast out of the friend group,” you teased back, not missing the way he stepped closer to you, only inches away from your face now.

He nodded, “damn, tell me how you really feel, Y/n/n” You grinned back. “I don’t have enough middle fingers to tell you how I feel”

JJ laughed in response, your face softened before you spoke again, “Seriously, try to steer clear of Rafe Cameron for a little while”

“So you are worried about me” you rolled your eyes, “if that’ll make you listen, yes, I am worried about you” JJ smirked in a way he only does when he’s up to something, eliciting a sigh from you. “I’ll listen even better if you let me take you out sometime?” you looked up at him through your eyelashes, studying his face to make sure he wasn’t fucking with you. The way his face softened the same as yours had a few seconds ago confirmed he was genuinely trying to ask you out.

“For real?” You ask, he nodded eagerly, his smile returning. You smiled back, nodding your head “Okay, you can take me out,” JJ fist-bumped the air, you laughed.

“C’mon, everyone is waiting at the Twinkie”

“John B is not gonna believe that you actually said yes,”

“I can’t believe I actually said yes,” you joked, getting a laugh in response as JJ threw his arm around your shoulder.

#jj maybank x you #jj maybank x y/n #jj maybank x pogue!reader #jj mayback x reader #jj mayback imagine #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank imagines #obx fanfiction #outer banks x you #outer banks imagines #obx imagine #Spotify

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outsideratheart · 1 year

Text

United (Alexia Putellas x reader)

A/N: Based off this request. @nowhereff I hope you like it!

It was a difficult position to be in as a professional footballer with the Spanish nationality. During the euros you experienced first hand the mistreatment of the team and you found yourself on the receiving end of Vilda’s frustrations one too many times. You had always considered yourself to be a calm person, never one to lose their cool during a match or when the fans pushed the limits with your personal life, yet this situation led to do one thing you never though you would; you asked not to be call up to represent your country.

You and 14 of your team mates had been dubbed ‘LAS 15’.

In the blink of an eye it was June and until this point you had no intention of returning to the team, part of you still doesn’t, but one thing or should you say one person, had other thoughts.

“Y/N, think about it” Alexia had just got received the call up, one that you had declined several times but still she insisted that you join her in Australia and New Zealand “This is the World Cup we are talking about, something we have dreamed of since we were kids”

Alexia spoke the truth. Ever since you were young you wanted to win the World Cup; that and the champions league. Barcelona had secured the latter a week prior so now there was only one more trophy in your dream cabinet.

“Alexia it’s not that easy for me. I told the world that I wouldn’t play for my country until the situation and environment changed. What does it say about me if I go back on everything I have said. I am standing up for our team and the players that come after us, I won’t turn my back them because of my own selfish needs. I hate that I’m saying this but I am one of the best footballers in the world, I have a spotlight on me and I will use my voice for good, I won’t cower because of that man”

Alexia understood where you were coming from. She had known you since you were 9 years old. You would stand up for the little children that were being picked on regardless of the age or size of their bully. Still, she couldn’t help but feel like you were making a dig at her. She may not have been one of the fifteen but she could make a stand instead of going to the World Cup.

“Do you think that’s what I’m doing? Being selfish? Cowering to Vilda?”

“God, no”

For the past ten minutes you had been pacing up and down the living room whilst Alexia watched as she sat on the kitchen Island. She knew better than to interrupt you when you were in one of these moods. In a small panic that you had hurt her feelings you stop pacing and go straight to her. You stood between her legs, one hand of either of her thighs and her arms locked behind your neck.

“Ale, you supported us but you weren’t one of the 15. I don’t want to be a hypocrite”

Jorge and his federation buddies had taken football away from you and you weren’t going to let it interfere with your relationship.

“Am I being selfish if I say that I want you there with me?”

“Oh Ale”

She leaned forward so that she could rest her head on your shoulder. She felt a mixture of shyness and embarrassment.

Despite having you by her side since the two of you first joined Barcelona she always told herself that she didn’t need anybody. Then as the two of you got older the connection that bonded you both turned out to be more than that of friends and this past year you never left her side, apart from the month you were away for the euros. You went to every physio appointment, stayed back later to workout with her and added her training sessions to your calendar so that you can be there when she second guessed herself. She needed you more than she was willing to admit and she didn’t want to go the World Cup without you. She is still yet to play longer than 30 minutes, never mind start a game but with you by her side she knew that anything was possible, the doubt she feels daily didn’t exist when you were around.

“It’s stupid”

“You are capable of so much Alexia. It doesn’t matter if I am there or not” she doesn’t lift her head so you play with the hairs at the nape of her neck.

“We don’t know that. I have never played a game without you”

It was some form of miracle but you had never had a injury in your career. You had played every single Barcelona match since your debut, it was an impressive stat but it also meant that Alexia was right.

“Alexia if I go the World Cup then it won’t be about football. They will make it into a story and you know that’s not why I play”

“I know. I shouldn’t have said anything”

Alexia pushes herself off the Island and walks off towards your bedroom. At first you want to go after her but then you hear the shower running, now you could go join her and make her forget about the World Cup entirely but that would only be putting off the inevitable.

You had a call to make and it wasn’t one that you wanted you girlfriend to overhear. This would be between you and the federation, no one else and not the entire world like it had been so far.

It’s save to say when the fans saw your picture and name on the World Cup announcement video they were disappointed and they wasn’t shy about it. You received message after message about how they expected better from you. You didn’t know what to do but then your manager called to say that Maria Tikas had asked for an interview. Now was your chance to explain your reason for rejoining the national team despite asking not to be summoned.

You told her that you had accepted the call up with the intent of being there for your team mates and make sure that the treatment from the Euros did not repeat itself. You told Maria that you were still fighting your case but you were doing do as a Spanish national team player. The interview was honest and it was also the first time you spoke out publicly about the battle between players and federation.

When you arrived for the first day of training camp you were told straight away that the federation wasn’t happy with your comments and that they expected more from you but their words meant nothing to you. Jorge himself told you that he didn’t want you there and that you would bring a bad energy to the team which you found ironic given the man himself was the reason for the deterioration of many player’s mental health.

Throughout the group stage games Jorge keeps you as a super sub or even a time wasting sub. It was a insult and you hated that he had been able to get under your skin but you didn’t complain, not in front of the team. The tension was bad enough with none of them want to risk their starting position or get limited game time like you.

“If she isn’t happy why did she come back to the team. She needs to realise nothing will happen now. She gave up the minute she put that shirt on” Misa had heard Alexia and Aitana ranting about how Jorge is mistreating you.

“At least she stood up for whats right. You stayed in the team when you knew it wasn’t the right thing to do. I may not have been around last summer but you were yet you stayed quiet and for what? So you could stand there in the number 1 shirt which we all know doesn’t belong to you” Alexia snapped.

You had stayed out on the pitch to run shuttles given that you hadn’t really worked your muscles in the last ten minutes of the game but you heard Misa just as you were about to enter the locker room. It was no secret that there was a split within the team and it started with the Real Madrid players. You didn’t want to argue with your team mates and quite frankly you didn’t have the energy in you. This tournament was draining you mentally but there’s no way you could let any of the team know. You did however talk to Mapi about it on a daily basis and she helped to with it.

“Alexia” your girlfriend jumps slightly when she feels your hand on her shoulder.

“She can’t say stuff like that”

“We both know why I am here” with one look into her hazel eyes, Alexia stands down. She knew the reason why you were here; her. Alexia had already showered so she leaves the locker room before she says something she will regret but before doing so she kisses you quickly. The act of PDA was a rarity before now but the world had learnt a lot about your relationship in the past couple of months and it led Alexia to realising she didn’t care what anyone thought. If she wanted to kiss her girlfriend she would.

“Y/N” Misa felt horrible knowing you heard what she said.

“No Misa, you may or may not have noticed but this team is more divided than ever and you slating me for my choices front of everyone doesn’t help. I know that things aren’t great between us, any of us” you point around to your team mates that you weren’t as close with as you used to be “but we are a team and we need to have each others back. We have people trying to put us against each other and we are letting them”

The goalkeeper sinks in her locker upon hearing your words.

“It’s just so stressful”

You couldn’t help but laugh at this. Misa was young and if she thought this was stressful she would be in for a rude awakening in the upcoming years. You also found it funny how she was stressed when her only responsibility was on the pitch. She was yet to face any kind of media and the fans didn’t put the pressure on her like you they did with you and players such as Alexia.

“Tell me about it”

“How do you do it?” Athenea asked as she’s stood next to you “He is coming at you every day. He makes you do extra laps and drills in training. He is working you to the bone and for what ten minutes of game time. Is it really worth it?”

You look around to double check who was in the room then you ask Irene to close the door.

“If I let men like Jorge Vilda dictate my future then I wouldn’t be standing here today. Whether he likes it or not he feels threatened by the fight we are bringing to him and let me tell you something Misa, I haven’t given up. You asked why I came back, I came back because Alexia asked me to. It it wasn’t for her then I would have declined the call up like had the first 5 times I got asked”

“She hates me” Misa knew that pissing Alexia off was bad thing.

“You spoke shit about Y/N. What did you expect” Aitana knew that you two always had each other’s back and it was best not to feel the wrath of either of you.

You quickly showered before going in search of your girlfriend but you had one more thing you wanted to say before you left the stadium.

“We need to stay united”

The girls who were still in the locker all replied ‘united’. It was a chant that you would use going in the knock out games.

In the semi final you were brought on earlier than the rest of the tournament and it proved to be the right decision because you score almost immediately before assisting Alexia for her first goal on the tournament. It sent a message to the world that Jorge wasn’t utilising his team and after the game a journalist questions his competence. You, who were sat next to him when the question was asked, couldn’t help but laugh. It seemed like the world was finally starting to figure out something you had known for years.

“You shouldn’t have done that” Jorge grabs your wrist pulling you aside before you can enter the changing room.

“What laugh at the fact that everyone is seeing how shit you are as a coach? Oh Jorge it was going to happen at one point. You should be happy that you lasted this long”

“You’ll regret saying that”

“I will and how will that happen? I know you didn’t want me here but your bosses knew that if you had any chance of winning the World Cup then I needed to be on the squad and before you deny it they told me this in person so do your worse which is what bench me? You bring me on and I change the game, you can’t afford to keep me on bench for the final so do you worst. Greater men than you have tried to belittle me so you don’t stand a chance”

Your outburst leaves the man in shock and that’s just what you wanted but he won’t admit defeat. Once again he grabs your wrist pulling you back towards him but at this point the heated discussion caught the attention of some of the other players.

“Get your hands of her” Alexia shoves him back causing him to release his hold.

In that moment the whole team comes to together. It is the Spanish national team versus Jorge Vilda. You stand opposite Jorge with the team behind you.

“We will win this World Cup then you will be gone” you don’t take your eyes off the coach as you speak. You leave him at a loss for words and with no other option than to walk away.

From that moment the energy changes within the team. You are united and it strengthens the bond which up until now seems unfixable. It leads to the training sessions been fun like they were in the past.

On the day of the final are you in the same spot you had been for the start of every game; the bench. It was frustrating to say the least. You knew going against the reigning world champions would be difficult but in no way did you expect to be down 2-0 just 17 minutes into the game. It was torture and what didn’t help is how Jorge looked at you after every goal conceded, it was as if he was blaming you, he was all but saying this is what happens when you let your ego get in the way.

A member of the coaching staff tells you to start warming up just before the end of the first half. You and him work through every drill a substitute does, then you do it again and again because even after being told you are ready Jorge shakes his head, he didn’t want you in this game.

What hurts the most is when Spain have a corner right where you are warming up. Whilst the ref is dealing with an incident in the box Jenni turns to you.

“What do we do? We need you”

“He doesn’t want me in. Take this play by play. Look for Irene’s head and go from there”

You wish you could have told her more but that’s all you had to offer. You were known for your ability to read the game but in order to do so you had to be on the pitch.

“I need to be in the game” you say quietly to the member of the coaching staff in charge of warming you up.

“You do” without saying anything else he leaves and goes back to the dug out.

You have no choice but stand near the corner flag and watch as the US charge towards the Spain goal, you can see it coming a mile way. The back line is playing too high and it leaves the team vulnerable to the long ball which is exactly what happens. Another goal and it feels like you have been stabbed in the chest.

Staying out on the field wasn’t the best thing to do but you couldn’t put yourself in the same room as that man and be held responsible for your actions. You abandon your attempt to warm up when the second half starts and take a seat on the bench. The fans start chanting your name and whilst you know their intentions are pure, it only makes you feel worse. You have just about given up when see a woman in a suit approach Jorge on the sidelines. She is on the board of the federation but she wasn’t one of the big fish.

“Bring Y/N on”

“No. She disrespected me, her not playing is her punishment”

“It wasn’t a question. Y/N” she shouted over to you “get ready, Jorge is putting you in”

“No, i’m no—“

“Jorge you put Y/N in or you will be asked to leave the pitch”

“By who?”

“By the new federation”

You didn’t really know this woman but you liked her. She was doing what should have been doing ages ago, she is putting Jorge in his place.

The crowd erupts when they see you standing on the sideline as your number got held up next to Esther’s.

“Go! They need you” the Real Madrid forward hugs you quickly before grabbing a vest and taking your seat on the bench.

When a US player going down and needs treatment you call the entire team over, even Misa who is close given that the injury happened on the outside of the box.

“This is not over. Under no circumstance do we give up. We have what it takes to win this game and I have faith in every single one of you. All we have to do is work together”

“United” Alexia says proudly.

“United” every else shouts in unison.

It felt like the clock was ticking down quicker than normal and it was hard to ignore the 3 goals on the scoreboard which were against you but that’s what you had to do. It takes you a few minutes to get a read on the game but as soon as you have it, that is when the fun starts. You run down the middle of the pitch, Jenni by the side of you with the ball and you link up with her just like you had a Barcelona. The two of you attack the American box and the defence doesn’t know how to react. Do they pressure Jenni or risk marking you, in the end they pressure Jenni but it was a mistake because as soon as she sees white shirts running towards her she passes a through ball to you and just like that it is 3-1.

You don’t celebrate, there isn’t time.

The next play comes when you are running down the wing, your pace being no match for anyone of the US team. Jenni scores a beautiful header after a pin point cross from you. It was 3-2.

“We only need one more to send it extra time” Athenea celebrates.

“We don’t need extra time“ you reply

“Let me guess, we are ending this now”

Alexia had heard you say these exact words in Eindhoven and she knew that you would keep your word now just as you did back then.

You get a second goal when Spain are awarded a free kick. This time you do celebrate and you don’t know if its the emotions of being in a final or the feelings that you have been bottling up over the past couple of weeks but you see a fan with a sign saying “Fuck Jorge Vila” so you take it and hold it up high.

People could no longer question your feelings towards your coach.

“Y/N” Alexia loved what you just did yet she couldn’t help but think of the consequences that it would.

“What?” You shrugged your shoulder innocently “Fuck Jorge Vilda right?”

“Right”

It was 3-3 when you approach the 90 minute mark. You look at the big screen to see 5 minutes injury time. You had 5 minutes to score and crown Spain champions of the world.

It’s almost like the rest of the team knew what to do. They need to give you or Alexia the ball, that will give them the best chance of scoring. The two of you had Balon d’Ors for a reason. The whole team pushes high when the clock reaches 94 and it gives the US the feeling of being outnumbered because they don’t know who to mark. You stay back a little to give them the idea that you are preparing for the counter as this is what you did with Barcelona but this wasn’t that. It was the perfect decoy because just as alexia reaches the edge of the box you sprint down the side and to the near post making sure to stay on side. She chips the ball over every white shirt and with the perfect weight behind it, she finds your head and the ball hits the back of the net.

Spain had done it, they had come back from 3-0 down to win 4-3.

“Cover their badge” you shout to your team mates as you run towards the corner flag and right in front of the a camera.

Every single player on the pitch as well as those who of ran off the bench stands there with their right hand covering the RFEF badge on the arm of the shirt. The message was clear as day and they stood together publicly for the first time since all this happened.

The final whistle is blown seconds later and you fall to you knees. You couldn’t believe that you had done it, that this team had done it despite the problems that were taking place off the pitch.

The celebration is something you will never forget. After everything that happened you had been stripped of your captaincy but Ivana insisted that you be the one to accept and lift the trophy. It would go down as the proudest day of your life, until the day you have kids.

The rest of the world however will remember the press conference that followed. You sat at a table with Jorge to the right of you and the rest of the team standing at the back of the room watching in anticipation. They didn’t know what to expect but they knew that you wouldn’t hold you tongue, not after the way Jorge had treated you this tournament.

“I think I speak for the rest of the world when I say I was shocked to see Y/N Y/L/N on the bench today. Can I ask why that is?”

Oh this would be good. There was no valid reason to have you on the bench for the games thus far, never mind the final.

“Y/N is a valued member of this team”

“Then why did you refuse to sub me into the game? Why did it take someone from the federation to come down to the pitch for you to do so?” you asked him.

With the silence that had filled the room you could hear a pin drop.

“I—It was the best decision for the team”

“I disagree” the journalist who asked the original question said.

“Me too” “me too” “And me” the team add from the back of the room.

“Considering I scored a hattrick and assisted the other goal I’m going to have to agree with them Jorge”

“I am the coach of this team and I made a decision one which I stand by. We won didn’t we and that is because I subbed Y/N in” Jorge tried to play the hero but you wouldn’t let this happen.

“No Jorge, like I said before the federation ordered you to sub me in. It wasn’t your decision. In fact I remember you saying quote unquote ‘No. She disrespected me, her not playing is her punishment’

The whole room audibly gasped at your revelation.

“We won didn’t we” his smugness would be his downfall.

“We won” you point to yourself and the rest of the team “You failed to coach us from the very first training session”

Jorge goes on to the explain his choices but he is only digging himself a deeper hole to fall in. It was amusing but you really didn’t want to spend your night listening to him explain his poor decisions, you want to celebrate with your girlfriend and the rest of the team so you execute your plan which you organised when Spain had reached the final. Maria Tikas sat in the front row. You found it fitting that the woman who told your story before the tournament started was the same one to give it its ending.

“Y/N I have a question” you signal for her to go ahead “you told me that you came to the World Cup to support your team mates, your girlfriend Alexia Putellas specifically” Alexia blushes in the background and the wink you send her only deepens the blush “Now you are world champion, what does your future with the national team look like?”

“This will be my last time in a Spain shirt until the man next to me in no longer part of the team and the environment we play in has been re-evaluated. We, as a team, deserve better and the change needs to happen now. Therefore I hereby resign from the Spanish national team” with that you stand up and leave the room. Your team mates follow in suit. All of them ready to follow in your footsteps.

“I’m proud of you” Alexia takes you hand, intertwining her fingers with yours.

“This is the moment things change Alexia. We will make sure that those that come next don’t have to go through the same treatment we did”

#alexia Putellas x reader #alexia putellas one shot #alexia putellas imagine #woso x reader #woso imagine #woso one shot #barcelona femeni x reader #Barcelona femeni one shot #Barcelona femeni imagine #espwnt x reader #espwnt imagine #espwnt one shot

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wh0re43van · 5 months

Text

Reflections- (Warren Lipka X Reader)

Summary: You’re Spencer’s older sister that had to come home after getting kicked out of college. Upon the return, you’re reconnected with the walking asshole that is your brothers best friend.

Word count: 7k

Warnings: smut, weed, alcohol, mention of roofie, slow burn, hate fuck

A/n: I managed to cut this down a good bit, but this is the best I could do because I love plot I’m sorry 😭 also I’m very high so this probably isn’t proof read very well- I will be proofing it better in the near future!

I hang out my window, breathing in the night air after I take a hit off my joint. I sigh, wondering what I’m still doing in my childhood bedroom at age 21. I got kicked out of college two months ago and I still haven’t gotten my life back on track. I have a job interview lined up and I’ve been painting commissions, but I just feel like I’m 14 again. My parents made it seem like I’ve completely fucked up my life and paint me as the pot smoking-drop out, so maybe I should just embrace it.

I groan when I realize that I’ve been thinking too long and joint my has gone out. I hold my favorite zippo up to re-light it when I hear my door fly open, knocking into my dresser. I gasp, whipping around quickly as I accidentally launch my lighter across the floor in the startle. I groan in annoyance when I see my idiot brother and his even more idiotic shadow standing in my doorway.

“Close the door you fucking idiots! Mom’s down there!” I whisper angrily. Spencer pushes Warren into the room and closes the door quickly.

“Sorry,” my brother says awkwardly.

“Damn. You still smoke even after it, like, completely ruined your life?” Warren laughs, motioning to my joint.

“Oh shut up. I got caught with a single gram on campus and they made a big deal out of it; I mean come on it’s 2004 for Christ sake,” I roll my eyes, irritated that he would even bring that up, but it is Warren, so I expect nothing else. “What do you two fuck heads want?” I ask as I walk over to turn off my iPod so I can hear them better.

“Nothing! Uhm just wanted to see how the best big sister in the world is doing,” Spencer laughs unconvincingly as he attempts to lean casually against my dresser, knocking over my perfume bottles in the process. “Shit,” he mumbles as he picks the plastic bottles up off the floor. I roll my eyes, not believing him for a second. Warren looks at Spencer, scoffs, then looks back at me.

“We want you to buy us beer,” he says flatly with his hands in his pockets. I raise my brows at him, now it’s my turn to scoff.

“You come in my room, give me a heart attack, almost let mom know that I’m smoking, knock over everything on my dresser, then ask me to buy you beer?” I ask, trying to understand why they thought this was a good idea. The boys look at each other then back to me.

“Yes,” they say in unison firmly, but not confidently.

“Get the fuck out,” I sigh. Spencer mutters ‘sorry’ before turning to walk out the door. Warren closes the door behind my brother then looks at me, tilting his head to the side.

“Why are you such a bitch?” The grungy boy asks curiously. I give him a face of disgust.

“Because you go out of your way to piss me off.” I huff, stepping closer to him, sticking a finger into his chest. He smacks my hand away.

“Ew,” Warren gags dramatically. “Don’t touch me,” he mutters before turning around to open my door, flipping me off then closing it behind him.

I plop down on my bed grabbing a nice, soft pillow, then shove it to my face, letting out a blood curdling scream.

‘Why!? What the fuck did I do to deserve this?’ I think to myself. I quite literally feel like I’m back in middle school with: Dumb and Dumber constantly pestering me, Warrens stupid fucking remarks, hiding in my room with my joint, and my parents being disappointed in me. Jesus, this is all such awful déjà vu.

I Take a deep breath, then make my way to the bathroom for a long, hot shower. I walk into the hall bathroom then turn on our shower to warm up the water. I strip down then turn on the shower radio to the local rock station. To my pleasant surprise, they’re playing ‘Scum bag’ by Greenday.

‘Best infomercial purchase mom made this month,’ I think to myself as I lather up my body wash, letting out a content sigh. I finally start to relax.

Knock, knock, knock

“Y/n, I have to piss!” Warren shouts through the door. I groan, flinging the shower curtain open after turning off the water.

“Hold it, Butt-fuck! I just got in,” I shout back in annoyance. He bangs on the door again.

“Just let me in!” His voice is muffled coming through the wood.

“No, Warren!” I huff, wondering how one boy could be so annoying. “Piss outside!” I scream over the music, then turn the water back on and resume my shower. His knocking continues for another minute or two, but he eventually gives up.

I finish my shower in peace then wrap the towel around myself. I quickly run to my room and close the door behind me.

“What the fuck!” I shout when I see warren standing in my closet with his hands behind his back.

“Don’t you know it’s rude not to knock?” he snickers. I scowl at him, holding the short white towel to my body as tight as possible.

“It’s my- What the hell are you doing in here?” I ask exasperated as I step towards him.

“Spencer says you do that nerdy makeup shit for ren fairs or whatever, and I need to borrow your supplies,” he sighs, sounding irritated even though he’s the one snooping though my stuff. I fiddle with my towel, uncomfortable at how his gaze keeps wondering down to where the fabric ends, barely long enough to cover my ass.

“What the fuck do you need that for?” I frown, not understanding why on earth he would need special effects makeup. His eyes follow a trickle of water that drips from my hair down my chest and between my breasts. I shift awkwardly, wishing that this interaction would end already.

“That’s not important,” he steps towards me. “Just let me see what you have,” he says simply with his hands in his pant pockets. I groan in frustration.

“No, you fart-catcher! I just caught you going through my shit, get out!” I scream, stomping my foot in anger, which causes the towel to slide off my breast a bit. I quickly pull it back into place, my cheeks burn pink from embarrassment and anger. Warrens eyes flutter from my chest up to my face, his lips curl into a small smirk.

“Alright,” he shrugs before walking towards my door. With his back to me, he takes his wallet out of his pocket and drops it on the floor. “Y/n,” he tisks, looking at me over his shoulder with that ever familiar mischievous glint in his dark eyes. “Would you pick that up for me? I can’t bend over, I hurt my back at my last game,” he asks with mock sincerity, his gaze focused on how short the towel is. He knows if I bend over my entire ass will be exposed. I look at him with pursed lips, furrowed brows, and bright pink cheeks, letting out an irritated sigh. He grins at how successfully he’s pissed me off.

I stomp over and open my bedroom door, then stomp back to his wallet, kicking it as hard as I can out the doorway and down the steps.

“Get out!” I seethe as I shove the snickering idiot out of my room, locking the door behind me. I groan, flopping down face first onto my bed. I lay there a minute, before deciding to smoke a bowl and get my pajamas on.

I retrieve my bowl and my stash from its old hiding spot behind my bookshelf.

I break up the weed and pack the small bowl, then I realize that I cant find my lighter. I check my bag again, then look around my window and on the floor. I let out a loud groan, kicking my nightstand in anger. My nerves are completely shot, this minor inconvenience is about to send me on a rampage.

With a defeated sigh, I grab a cheap Bic lighter out of my purse. I wouldn’t care so much if it wasn’t my favorite lighter. The silver zippo was a gift from an ex-boyfriend. He had my name engraved on one side and the skull and bat wings from the cover of the Avenged Sevenfolds ‘Waking the Fallen’ album on the other. It’s the single coolest possession I have.

I grab my iPod off the speaker, then hook my headphones into it before climbing out my window onto my roof. With the cheap plastic lighter I take a hit then lay back on the cool shingles, my muscles relaxing as Rob Zombie plays in my ears. I close my eyes as the crescent moon shines her white light down on my face. I take another hit, sighing happily as I get comfortable. Finally, some peace.

‘Hold on,’ I shoot up, furrowing my brow in thought. ‘I dropped my lighter when numbnuts busted into my room. I never picked it up, and when I caught warren in here, he had something behind his back… Warren,’ my epiphany makes my ears burn red.

“Goddamn it Warren!” I shout, completely fed up with his shit, as I clamber back through my window. “Why the fuck is that shit head here all the time,” I mumble to myself as I put my bowl away. I spray some air freshener and close my window before stomping down the hallway, barging into my brothers room. Warren sits by himself in Spencer’s bed, playing some stupid video game on the PlayStation- my brother no where in sight.

“Where is it?” I bellow, standing between warren and the tv like an angry mother. I hold my hand out in front of his face as if the little asshole would just hand it over.

“Dude! Get out of the way!” Warren groans, his eyes not even meeting mine as he uses his foot to scoot me out over, but he knocks me off my balance and I fall directly on top of him.

“Warren!” I squeal, managing to catch myself with my arms on either side of his head. We exchange a shocked look before that stupid, sly smirk creeps onto his face, reminding me that I’m furious at him. “Give me my shit!” I shout in his face, hovering over top of him.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he shrugs, his smirk never faltering. This is it. He’s going to make me snap. I grab his shirt pulling his face up to mine, my face flushed In anger.

“I see through your little act,” I say through gritted teeth, almost in a whisper. He looks at me with wide eyes. “You act like you’re hot shit. You think that just because you sell a little green on the side and pocket other peoples shit that you’re a man, but you’re so far from it. You’re just a 19 year old boy who still needs his daddy to wipe his ass for him,” I all but spit into his face, leaning closer with every syllable. His face slowly contorts into pure rage. He stands up from the bed and pushes my back against the wall.

Warrens hostile glare burns deep into my eyes as his hands grip my shoulders so hard that his knuckles turn white. The drywall is cool on my hot skin as warren peers down on me, making me feel so small in his grasp.

“You don’t know shit about me, bitch!” Warren says in a tone that I’ve never heard from him before- he nearly growls at me. This shows that I’ve seriously pissed him off; I smile up at him, unable to hold back the joy- and a bit of excitement - bubbling in my stomach. His lips are pulled in a straight line, nostrils flared and his jaw locked as he grips onto my shirt, making his biceps flex.

“Unfortunately, I know you very well, Warren. Your entire life you’ve been putting up this front of false confidence. Always thinking you’re special, somehow always convincing yourself that the rules don’t apply to you; You’re a pathetic burn out,” I say simply, batting my lashes up at him, enjoying the reaction- and our proximity. His nostrils flare as he pounds his fists on either side of my head.

“You’re the fucking burn out!” He raises his voice, a bit of spit lands on my face as the harsh words drip from his tongue. I reach my hand up, wiping the salvia off.

“Yeah, but I can admit it,” I whisper as I lean up to his flushed face, our noses brushing against each other. I do mu best to ignore the stirring in my stomach when our skin touches. Warren glances down at my lips, his chest still heaving with anger and his arms resting by my head. His angry eyes meet mine. The moonbeam coming through the window illuminates half of warrens face in a white light. I just now notice how much he’s changed. How mature he looks now, especially when he has me backed against the wall with a death grip on my shoulders. He just begins to dip his head down when the bedroom door swings open.

“Sorry man, mom wanted help with- Woah…” Spencer pauses, almost dropping the snacks from his arms. Warren jumps back, the rage on his face replaced with shock as my brother looks between us with a slack jaw. Warren clears his throat awkwardly.

“You need to control your sister, dude,” he gives me a dirty look, walking up and taking a bag of Cheetos from Spencer. I step away from the wall, adjusting my outfit.

‘What the fuck just happened?’

“Uhm, no. Spencer you need to control your friend. He’s a fucking klepto! He took the lighter kyle got for me!” I explain as I point accusingly at Warren who’s already settled into the bed, munching on the junk food

“Oh, you mean the guy that cheated on you?” he asks before he takes a sip out of a two liter of dr. pepper. “Twice,” he adds before letting out a gross belch. I look at him in disgust, then in offense. My ears burn red in anger once again. I let out an irritated grunt as I push past spencer towards the door.

“So it’s no then?” Spencer asks, stopping me in my tracks.

“What?” I ask as I turn to face him. My brother glances between Warren and me.

“You’re not gonna help us?” Spencer asks, looking confused.

“Spencer what the hell are you talking about?” I groan, still upset about what was happened with Warren.

“He didn’t even-“ Spencer scoffs, turning to look at Warren. “You didn’t even ask her?” He asks his friend. Warren just shrugs as he picks up the PlayStation controller.

“For the last time I am not getting you idiots beer,” I groan.

“No! We need your makeup skills,” Spencer explains. Warren stands up from the bed, stomping in disapproval.

“We don’t need her. We just need the makeup,” he groans nudging Spencer a bit. I look at the boys in extreme confusion.

“Explain,” I sigh, rolling my eyes.

“We’re Uhm, doing a project and we were wondering if you could make us look like old men,” Spencer says avoiding eye contact, scratching the back of his neck. He’s acting even weirder than normal.

“Uhm, yeah. Hypothetically I could if I had the proper products,” I say putting my hands on hips, wondering where this conversation is going.

“No. We just need the products we don’t need you,” Warren whines, seeming even more admit on keeping me out of their plans than usual.

“Okay whatever. Give me the money and I’ll get you guys the shit tomorrow evening,” I sigh.

‘I’m such a good big sister’

“Well we have that party with Chas tomo-“ Spencer starts but Warren slaps his hand over my brothers face.

“Party?” My ears perk up.

“No,” Warren says sternly. “We’re not bringing your lame ass to the party of the year,” he groans.

“No party, no makeup,” I shrug, crossing my arms. Spencer pulls Warren’s hand away from his face.

“Deal,” Spencer smiles. Warren gives him a death glare as I skip out of the room.

The next evening I’m stood in front of my closet sifting through my clothes. I have to admit that I’m excited to be getting dressed up. I settle on black denim mini skirt, studded belt and a cropped and distressed Misfits shirt. I take the time to do my makeup, smudging the black pencil liner around my eyes and applying a burgundy lip stick.

“Y/n come on!” I hear Warren shout from outside. I run over and stick my head out my open window.

“I’m coming!” I holler before slamming the glass shut, then shove my smoke bag into my purse.

I hop down the steps, skipping past my mother.

“I’ve never seen you so excited to go somewhere with those two,” my mom attempts a joke as I slip on my beat up converse.

“Free alcohol,” I shrug with a smirk before skipping out the front door.

“Y/n,” my mother’s disappointed voice gets cut off by the heavy wood slamming shut. I giggle to myself as I run to Chas’s car. I hear the door open again and my brothers foot steps approaching behind me.

“Come on guys were so late!” the meat head shouts from the driver’s seat window. My brother and I scramble into the car. Before I realize it, I’m sandwiched in between Warren and spencer with Chas and some nerdy guy in the front.

As I search around for the middle seatbelt, I notice warren staring at me. he’s wearing a white t-shirt that fits him very well with a pair of light, baggy blue jeans. It appears that he even took the time to brush his hair. He almost looks good.

“What?” I scowl at warren, wondering why he’s looking at me like that. He clears his throat, shaking his head a bit as if he didn’t realize he was ogling at me.

“J-just wondering why you let a clown do your makeup,” he laughs. I huff then punch him in the arm as hard as I can, causing warren to scream out.

“See this is-” I start to shout but I’m cut off when Chas whips his steering wheel sharply, sending me flying toppling into warren and causing warren to hit his head on the window.

“Shut up!” Chas groans. Warren and I exchange angry looks as we settle back into our seats, the rest of the ride is quiet.

The house packed full of sweaty college kids bumping and grinding into each other. The smell of alcohol and B.O flood my senses as I shimmy my way through the sea of kids packed in the narrow hallway. I finally make it to the kitchen where a bunch of frat boys are shot gunning beer. Girls surround them, completely wasted but doing their best to root for whichever guy they’re planning on fucking tonight. The loud, shitty, pop music rings through my ears as I step closer to the commotion. A tall blonde guy from the back of the group turns to me, looking me up and down with a grin.

“Hey you want in?” He holds his hand out, offering me a Budweiser. I consider it, but decide that I don’t want to be covered in beer all night.

“Uh, nah,” I nudge his hand away from me. He is cute though. “But I’ll cheer you on,” I smirk, looking up at the random guy, holding up my house key. The boy grins from ear to ear, taking the key out of my hand. He punctures the can before quickly opening the tab, downing the beer almost professionally. I cheer the boy on with words of encouragement. He drops the can to the floor then holds his hands up with a righteous scream, the crowd goes wild. He turns to me, wiping his face then slings his arm over my shoulder.

“Wow, I’m impressed,” I laugh. He adjusts his crooked snap-back as he leads me to the dance floor.

“Yeah you should be,” he chuckles as he guides me through the crowd of dancing bodies.

We dance for a few songs, slowly getting more handsy with each other. As my back bumps against him to the beat of the song, I make eye contact with Warren from across the room. He has a drink in one hand and his other on a girls waist as she kisses on his neck.

To my surprise, rather than looking away, he holds my gaze his he runs his hand down her back, grabbing her ass. I fight back a blush that attempts to creep onto my cheeks by averting my gaze.

‘Disgusting.’ I mentally barf as I turn my back to warren, wrapping my hands around the boys neck, his hands instinctively fall to my hips. He leans closer to my ear as we dance lazily in step with the beat.

“So what’s your name?” the boy shouts over the music.

“Y/n,” I answer, smiling up at him. “What about you, shotgun champion?” I giggle.

“Ethan,” he smiles. “Well, y/n, I’m going to go get you a drink,” he winks. I smile, thanking him. Once I tun back around, I notice that warren and the girl are gone.

‘Damn, that dude moves quick,’ I wonder how he manages to get girls to sleep with him so fast when he’s so insufferable and annoying. I dance by myself for a bit as I await Ethan’s return.

“Here you go,” Ethan smiles, handing me a red solo cup full of what appears to be spiked Hawaiian punch. I smile, thanking him as I accept the sickeningly sweet drink. I hold the plastic to my lips, but before I can take a sip, it’s knocked out of my hands. The cold liquid spills down my shirt before the cup hits the ground.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” I hear the familiar tone of Warrens voice shout as he shoves Ethan against the living room wall. Everyone around us stops, turning to see what fight is about to break out. My cheeks burn red in anger and embarrassment.

“Waren what-” I manage to shout in the confusion. “You’re such a fucking asshole!” I shriek, completely fed up with his bullshit. I stomp towards the staircase, all eyes on me as crimson punch drips down my chest and legs. I open every door in the hallway until I find the bathroom.

I slam the door behind me before leaning onto the sink, looking at myself in the mirror. I scream out in frustration, my pulse beating to the bass of the music downstairs.

“What the fuck is wrong with Warren?” I complain to myself as I grab a handful of paper towels, attempting to absorb the drink that has soaked into my outfit. I pause when I hear the doorknob turning behind me. I watch Warrens figure appears in the bathroom mirror.

“Are you okay?” he asks as he steps towards me. His tone.. it almost sounds... concerned. I ignore his possible sincerity and instead throw the sopping wet paper towels at him.

“No, I’m not fucking okay! You ruined my outfit!” I scowl at him. His once concerned expression quickly contorts into the ever familiar annoyed glower he’s always dawning in my presence.

“You’re so fucking stupid y/n!” Warren shouts, stepping closer to me. The yellow lights highlight his clenched jaw. My mouth widens in disbelief.

“Excuse me?” I ask, now pissed off even more. Warren leans back, pushing his hair out of his face then groans in irritation.

“You almost got fucking roofied y/n! I knew that guy was bad news. I happened to be walking past the kitchen when I saw him drop something into your drink!” he explains while pacing in front of me. I roll my eyes, not believing him.

“Oh come on! You expect me to believe that? With your track record, I have every reason to believe that you were just being an immature asshole finding a way to fuck with me,” I step up to him, looking into his eyes that are flooded with frustration.

“Are you fucking- I just saved your ass big time!” Warren shouts, throwing his hands up in exasperation.

“Oh please,” I roll my eyes, crossing my arms, too angry to look at him. Warren sticks an angry finger in my face.

“You are such an ungrateful fucking brat,” he says lowly, his tone sends chills down my spine. He grips my jaw, turning my head to look up at him. The angry boy glowers down at me, his face just inches from mine. “Say thank you,” he demands through gritted teeth. I roll my eyes once again.

“Fuck. You.” I whisper looking directly into his apoplectic eyes. After a beat, he grips my jaw even harder, yanking may lips to his. I freeze in shock for just a second before returning the instantly bruising kiss. I wrap my arms around his neck, suddenly desperate for his touch. Within seconds, years of pent-up aggression and sexual tension finally comes to a head.

“You piss me off so much,” he growls against my lips as his hands grip my ass so tight it hurts, making me bite back a whimper. “Jump,” his voice comes out a gruff whisper. I obey, jumping to wrap my legs around his waist as he backs me against the wall, his lips never parting from mine. His nails dig into my thighs as he begins to grind against my crotch, the friction making me moan lightly against his lips. Anger and lust course through my veins as I tighten my legs around him, forcing his hips closer to mine. As much as I want to hate this, the truth is that I’ve never wanted any man more than I want warren right now. I’m disgusted with myself, but oh so desperate for the boy I’ve despised most of my life.

“Fuck, I hate how much I want this,” I whine desperately against his lips, pulling away only to slip off my shirt. Warren chuckles before setting me onto my feet. His chest heaves as he strips himself of his white t shirt.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to see you like this,” he says softly, his eyes following his hand as it glides gently over my body. I shiver under his touch as his fingers easily undo my bra, I allow it to fall to the ground. His eyes meet mine as he undoes his belt. “Bend over,” Warren smirks, motioning to the counter top. Biting back a smile, I happily turn around, resting my elbows on the counter. I spread my legs and wiggle my ass, knowing that he has a full view of panties under my mini skirt. I feel his hand push the denim fabric up, then he slides my underwear down my legs, leaving me exposed to him.

“Holy shit,” he groans quietly as he dips a finger into my sopping heat. He drags my slick up to rub circles on my clit. I bite my lip in attempt to hold back a whimper. “Is it me that you’re this wet for, or do you just have some weird degradation kink?” he asks as he slips a finger in my entrance, I gasp at the contact.

“Oh shut the-“ I begin, but cut myself off with a loud moan as his hand comes down harshly on my ass, the slap rings through the bathroom.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” he laughs as he slips another finger in, pumping faster. His other hand brushes over the stinging handprint left on my ass. I whimper at how good it hurts.

I hate how right he is. I hate how much he’s enjoying this. I hate how he knows exactly where to curl his fingers inside me to earn the loudest moan. “Mm that’s the prettiest sound that’s ever come out of your mouth,” he chuckles as he reaches his other hand around to toy with my clit. I arch my back, biting my lip in an attempt to keep the symphony of pleasure from spilling from my mouth. I’m trying desperately not give him the satisfaction of praise, but it’s proving to be impossible.

“You’re such a dick,” I say lowly, unable to think of a good comeback as my eyes flutter shut, that familiar tension in my stomach building.

Warren pulls away completely, leaving me feeling empty and irritated. I stand up with a frown, spinning around to yell at him, but he grabs my arm and my waist, repositioning me back over the counter.

“Uh uh,” he chuckles using one hand to grip my hair, holding my head up so that I can see him in the mirror. With the other hand, he drops his pants and boxers, giving his- much larger than expected- length a few good bumps. My knees buckle at the sight behind me. “You’re gonna stay just like this and watch me fuck you,” he growls as he uses his foot to kick my legs a bit further apart. I watch his reflection as he brings his fingers up to his mouth, spitting on them before spreading the slick gently over my folds. As he lines his length up with my entrance, he holds my gaze through the mirror, sliding into me slowly. He lets out a loud groan, his grip on my hair tightening.

The way that he fills me up is unlike any other. Squeezing my eyes shut, I do my best to hold back my whimpers as I adjust to his size. He gives me only a few seconds before he starts slamming into me.

“Fuck!” I scream in shock as I clasp my hands over my mouth. Warrens strong grip is soon ripping my fingers away from my face.

“Now You’re want to be quiet? After all the times I’ve told you shut this pretty mouth of yours…” he grabs my cheeks, sticking a finger in my mouth as he rams his cock into me. “Now you want to hold back?” He lets out a devilish chuckle, before slapping my ass even harder than last time. He uses my hair to pull my head up making sure that I’m watching him.

His strong grip holds tightly onto my hair and my waist, making the veins very prominent in his arms. His toned torso glistens in a thin sheet of sweat as his hips buck mercilessly into me. My toes curl when I see the way he’s watching me. His eyes are dark with lust as they study every feature of my body in the mirror. His jaw hangs slack, but there’s a never faulting smirk on his face as if this is something he’s been waiting on for a while.

He releases my hair to reach down and rub figure eights onto my sensitive bundle of nerves. That and they way that he’s hitting the perfect spot with every deep thrust and the way he looks at me is enough to send me over the edge.

“Fuck! Warren!” I moan out in such a pathetic tone that I can’t believe it came from my own mouth. My legs begin to shake and breathing becomes shallow as I clench around him.

“That’s it baby. Scream my name in pleasure for a change,” he growls in my ear. My eyes are clenched shut, but I can hear the smirk in his voice. If the music wasn’t playing 100 decibels over OSHA standards and every single person wasn’t black out drunk, I might be concerned that someone might hear us.

“Oh god… fuck Warren! I’m cumming please don’t stop! Just like that please!” My words come out a desperate whine with each breath punctuated by his hips thrusting into me as I come undone around him. My legs give out as pure euphoria floods my system. My eyes roll back in my head as Warren holds me up with help from counter.

“You’re so fucking hot,” he grunts out, his thrusts becoming sloppy and erratic as low growls and moans slip out between his heavy breaths.

Warren pulls out of me as I lay with my head down on the cool counter trying to collect my thoughts. I feel him release onto my back. The warm seed dripping down my ass as strings of profanities fall from Warrens kiss bruised lips.

“Holy shit,” he pants out in a whisper. I hold my head up to see him in the mirror behind me, leaning against the wall with his eyes closed. His chest rising and falling quickly as he wipes sweat from his forehead. As if he could feel me looking, he opens his eyes. That stupid fucking smirk quickly returning on his flushed face. He watches his cum drip down my ass and onto the floor. He silently walks to the toilet paper, then- to my surprise- he cleans me up. Silently, with a content smile, he wipes himself off me.

“Uh, thanks,” I say shyly with a bit of red creeping up to my cheeks. I find my underwear and slip them back on as Warren puts his pants on.

“Don’t mention it,” he winks, very obviously proud of himself.

“So uhm,” I start as I slide my dress back on. I don’t even know how to act; I feel so awkward and it’s pissing me off how casual Warren is being. “Do we just chalk this up to the alcohol?” I rub my neck awkwardly as Warren pulls his shirt over his head. He lets out a light laugh.

“Well I’m not drunk. Are you?” He asks, already knowing the answer. I shake my head no as find my sticky, stained skirt and step into it. Warren chuckles, walking up behind me looking at our reflections in the mirror. “Well, on the bright side I made your make look better,” he laughs with a wink, motioning at the mascara running down my face and burgundy lipstick smudged around my mouth.

“Oh fuck off!” I huff, shoving him. He slaps my ass one last time before opening the door and stepping out. I look at myself in the mirror, waiting for the feeling of disgust to overcome my body… but it never comes. As I wet a paper towel and attempt to make my face look presentable, I can’t help but smile. The smile turns to a giggle. The giggle turns to a loud laugh. I cannot begin to explain or even understand what I’m feeling, but pure joy is bubbling through my body. It must be some kind of weird post nut clarity.

I grab my purse then step out the door, expecting Warren to be gone, but to my pleasant surprise, he’s leaning over the banister right outside the bathroom.

“What are you doing?” I ask as I step up beside him, assuming the same position.

“Trying to spit in people’s drinks,” he says flatly, not looking my way before a blob of spit falls from his mouth, landing on some random girls forehead. She looks around in drunken confusion, unable to identify the source. “Hey bonus points,” he laughs, turning to me with his hands held up in victory. I roll my eyes, but I’m unable to hide the smile that creeps onto my face.

“I uhm- I think I’m gonna walk home. I need a shower,” I tell him awkwardly. I’m so unsure of how to act now and him being so normal isn’t helping.

“Oh, I’ll walk you,” he says, putting his hands in his pockets. I look at him in confusion.

“What?” I ask, unsure if I heard him correctly.

“I’m going to walk you home, dumbass,” he shrugs taking step, expecting me to follow behind him- I do, of course.

We push through the crowds of dancing kids and out the front door. My ears ring as we step out onto the empty street, the silence is quite the change from the loud frat party behind us.

We walk in almost comfortable silence. My house is about a 40 minute walk away, but it seems so much shorter as I’ve been using the time to sort out my emotions- which I’m not having much success with.

I grab my cell phone out of my pocket, texting Spencer that I’m headed home so that he doesn’t worry.

“Who are you texting?” Warren asks simply as if he’s been trying to find something to start a conversation. He pulls a pack of menthols out of his pocket, holding the box towards me. I smile, taking one of the sticks and popping it into my mouth.

“Spencer. I figure I should let him know where I went,” I explain as we walk down the dim and empty sidewalk. The cool late summer air makes the orange flame flicker in the wind as it illuminates Warrens face in the evening dusk. The end of his cigarette glows a dark crimson as he lets out a puff of smoke. He stops, then looks down at me as he rests his fingers on my cheek, his other hand bringing the lighter up to my cigarette. I stare up at him, admiring how the orange light highlights his handsome features. The flame reflects in his dark eyes that are fixated on my lips. I breath in, igniting the cig.

“Thanks,” I smile, exhaling through my nose as we resume our walk.

“Ya know, I really did save your life back there,” Warren grins with a nudge from the same hand that’s holding his cigarette.

“You actually saw that dude slip something in my drink?” I ask, looking at him with raised brows.

“Yep. That girl I was dancing with was leading me up to one of the bedrooms when I saw the douche go into the kitchen. The dude looked the type, so I followed him in there, sure enough as he was walking away from the table, he slipped a tablet in your cup,” he shrugs as he takes a long drag.

It takes me a minute to process his words. It seems that he was actually looking out for me.

“But… Why? I thought you hated me. Now you’re saying that you left a hot girl who was trying to get in your pants just to make sure I was safe,” I ask. That seriously doesn’t sound like the Warren I know. Then again, I wouldn’t have expected the Warren I know to dick me down at a frat party either.

“Y/n I obviously don’t hate you. And even if I did, I still wouldn’t have let that guy drug you. I’m not that kind of guy,” he says, sounding a bit offended that I thought that of him. I’m seeing a part of Warren tonight that I had no idea existed. We approach my house, tossing our cigarette butts in the trash can beside the mailbox.

“No, I know, Warren,” I smile downwards, looking away from his stern gaze. “You’re actually a pretty good guy,” I laugh nervously. He grins as he leans against his car that’s parked on the curb right outside my home.

“I’m really glad you said that right now. I’m also glad that since I saved you, we’re even,” he smiles as he walks around to his driver door, reaching into his pocket. I stand on the sidewalk, looking at him confused.

“What Are You-“ he tosses me something, I instinctively catch it, clamping it between my two hands. I raise an eyebrow, almost afraid to see what’s in my hands. Warren chuckles as he gets in his car, starting it up as his radio starts blaring his ‘The Offspring’ CD.

I bend forward, he rolls down the passenger window. I look down into my hands to see my favorite lighter broken. The top of the zippo snapped off from the base. My expression falls, rage flooding my senses.

“Warren!” I scream, more pissed off at him then I’ve ever been. He quickly reminded me of why it is that I hate him so much.

“Yeah, my bad,” he laughs, rubbing the back of his neck. “You should really keep your stuff picked up off the floor,” he shrugs. I can’t even form a sentence right now. I knew this dumbass took my lighter. “Now get inside so I can leave,” he says motioning with his hand towards the door. I’m so shocked and exhausted- physically and emotionally- from tonight’s events that I just turn and leave. My face still contorted in anger, I silently walk up the steps and into my house.

Out of curiosity, I glance out the window at Warren. He waits a couple seconds after I shut the door to pull out of his parallel parking spot. I sigh, leaning against the door.

This was the strangest night of my life

#evan peters #evan peters smut #ahs cult #ahs hotel #jimmy darling smut #kai anderson #kit walker smut #ahs asylum #ahs fandom #ahs murder house #warren lipka smut #warren lipka #quicksilver smut #peter maximoff smut #peter maximoff #james patrick march #kai anderson smut #tate langdon smut

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suguruplsr · 6 months

Text

NMW

This is got dark and I accidentally, very lowkey made readers back story similar to someone who kinda experiences it later in the manga. Not saying who just for spoilers sake so um yea <3

Dark content!

,, gn!reader x suguru during the time of his defect, angst w/ no comfort , their relationship was rocky , reader is/becomes a drug addict + overdosing + underage usage , signs of heavy depression + dissociation + self-hatred (inner turmoil from trauma) + suicidal , implied reader did try to commit by jumping/falling but did not die , mentions of child abuse and trauma + seeing death at a young age , reader in the end, ultimately is messed up.

Please let me know if I missed anything !

Divider @/benkeibear

[NEW MAGIC WAND] Tyler, The Creator - [0:01 - 3:14]

Death.

Something you could say you long for.

But something that excites you to no end.

A way of ending a life forced upon you, seeing horrors since the mere age of nine.

It began the day your one and only older sister killed herself in front of you with the same cursed tool you carry. Unable to continue barring the harsh family treatment and training— filled with such love that you hate. All to become a fit and strong sorcerer.

Can’t stain the oh so great family name with weak sorcerers right?

That day, you almost burned down and destroyed your clan, yet instead, ran away like the coward you were. Found by yaga, your now teacher, who's been able to teach and take care of you in a safe environment.

Life’s great, you thought. You’re a grade 1 sorcerer, you had the best friends, a great boyfriend, and the best parental figure you know.

Everything was perfect, after all you went through.

So why… Why did that feeling of impending doom swirl in your heart during the hot summer air last year? When did everything become a hassle? When did you find yourself reaching out to fall into that darkness of the night, the stale-like taste of pills you threw into your mouth impatiently was annoying. The headache in your head wasn’t going away. Maybe you’ll tell Shoko to let you grab five next time.

Just for good measure..

And maybe to keep experiencing the silent and pure bliss you feel after a few minutes of standing on the roof, high off your mind. But you always gain some sense, deciding to not be reckless and jump off.

Perhaps that’s just an excuse so you won’t hurt Suguru again.

But would he care? Would he really?

All you know is that you do. You care tremendously. Hugging him every time he comes back at night, tired and weak after back-to-back missions. At first, he’d say something along the lines of, “your hugs make me feel better no matter what”, followed by your giggles and his kisses.

But now, it’s as if it’s another obstacle for him, forcing a small smile, even though he won’t look at you, just wrapping his arms around your shoulder for a split second and heading towards his dresser to grab some clean clothes before he heads to the showers.

Usually, he’ll stay in the morning, already having seen the alert on his phone about his ride to the mission sight, and only wanting to cuddle with you until times up. Now, he’s just gone. The side of your bed as empty and cold as your love life.

Sometimes, when you get ready, you find yourself looking in the mirror and hating the image of someone who can’t even take care of her lover.

It reminds you of the times you’d hear your sister’s ramblings at night. Cursing herself for being mediocre and stupid. Sayings that your mother installed into her through beatings and yells while your father forced her to fight again

But you can’t help it, your whole life, no matter how perfect it was, you could never do anything right. You were always second, second, second, second.

Second.

The words you remind yourself when you see Suguru flash that smile that he hasn’t worn in what feels like years. But it’s not towards you, only to Satoru. Always, for him. Maybe hanging out with his best friend gives him some light to that world of his you know absolutely nothing about. But, it’s no one else, only Satoru, only him.

His best friend.

You should be happy, happy that you can see the one you love shine even just a bit. But god.

You feel dead.

Like a withering rose that has chased for that sunlight, only to lose in the end.

Second.

That’s all you’ll ever be.

So why try? It’s not like your efforts have done anything even remotely useful.

Mediocre.

That’s what you are. So just say fuck it.

[spd interlude] Travis Scott - [0:01 - 3:11]

Your tired form walt’s into the infirmary, hair unkempt and eyes red from loss of sleep. You don’t even think you can use your voice anymore, throat aching after screaming into that damned mirror.

But you can’t see yourself anymore.

You can’t see that fucking mistake of a child your parents made.

Not with how the glass shattered all at once, shards impairing you and leaving cuts all over you.

But maybe you needed that bit of pain, a wake up call that screaming into a mirror does nothing.

You search through the cabinets before finding the yellow bottle that holds your happiness nowadays.

“You and I both know you don’t need that many.” Shoko’s stern tone rings through the white room, hand held out as you silently drop the seven? Maybe ten, tablets into her hand. And she scoffs, disappointed, probably.

You can’t care, not right now. You need it.

Something to forget or you swear you’ll—

At least she turned away, a big mistake on her part.

“And what happened to you? You look like shit. No offense. How about—“

You disappeared like a ghost, taking two other bottles of happiness with you.

It makes Shoko sigh, running a hand through her hair as she thinks about the explanation she’ll have to give to their teacher.

Five. Another five. Three this time? You just keep throwing them in your mouth like you’re catching them.

You can’t see. Body swaying and leaning on the railing. You’re grateful that you know how to use “reverse curse technique”, or else you’d be dead by now.

Maybe you’d like that.

You’d like to dissipate from this world quietly so no one can notice how much of a failure you are.

It’s stupid, all for a boy. How could you let yourself fall this low.

But maybe you were meant for this, never having won anything in life. Winning his heart was probably a joke the world gave you.

But it’s his fault too, right? In a way? A question you ponder over millions of times. You just can’t bring yourself to admit that.

You tilt your head back. That fresh air feels so nice, like it’s pushing you to glide with the wind.

And you allow it, the breeze is so nice, like a pocket around you as you fall, protecting you so you can finally forget.

‘Splat!’

You don’t find yourself living anymore, walking around like a lifeless machine, sleep, work, smoke, drink, pop, sleep. And then repeat. But sometimes you forget to eat, you just need the salty taste of those tablets in your mouth before you lose your mind.

You don’t see Suguru anymore.

You think you two broke up one day.

You weren’t listening, you weren’t there. You couldn’t.

Because of that name.

That man.

It makes you find yourself on that roof again.

You don’t like it, you don’t like those reminders. So you stay in the comfort of your mind, admiring the life around you as you simply exist.

Your eyes seem cold, dead and staring into a distance Suguru can’t seem to gauge. As if you don’t care about the written statement of his actions that were presented to you earlier that day.

“I love you.” You don’t respond with one of your own, simply humming in acknowledgment, and lighting the cigarette he gave you. His hand reaches out to you, there’s warmth, but it seems as if there’s none in how you look at him.

You’re not here, he thinks.

“Please, let me make up for how I treated you before.” And you purse your lips. It’s pitiful really, him saying such a tiny sentence that has no meaning to you. But the desperation in his eyes makes your heart beat in satisfaction.

You’re finally wanted. But you can’t give in too much. Who knows, he might pull away.

And you’ll be falling again.

“Do whatever. I don’t care.”

[goosebumps] Travis Scott (feat. Kendrick Lamar) - [0:01 - 4:03]

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misserabella · 1 year

Text

scary love

abby anderson x fem! reader

synopsis; love is scary. and you try to run away. but abby is there when you come back, ready to hunt you down.

cw; 18+ content, minors dni! mentions of death, fighting, wounds, blood, stitches, consumption of alcohol and drugs (weed), jealousy, possessiveness, hickeys, arguing, weapons, reader is older than abby for 7 years (she took her in after the hospital), abby being a brat and reader not having it, masturbation (abby), cursing, hair pulling, kinda enemies to lovers (their relationships is difficult), teasing, praising, fingering (r receiving), hair pulling, heavy make out, tit play, tit sucking, oral sex (r receiving), scissoring, multiple orgasms…

REMINDER: english is not my mother language so i apologize if there are some mistakes <3 !¡ either ways, i hope y’all like it. <3

REPOSTS AND COMMENTS ARE VERY MUCH APPRECIATED!

you and abby had a hard time…, being nice to each other.

it was always bickering in between the two of you, screaming, fighting…

you were her mentor. or at least her boss. she was younger than you. 7 years to be exact.

you thought it would be easy. they had asked you to train a kid. keep her under control. but she was a fucking nightmare. you knew this world was hard. but abby was a 14 year old girl when she lost her only family. her father. and she was ready to break everything. destroy everything. that year was surely the worse. or so you thought. ‘cause it only got harder.

at 17 she was sneaking out of your apartment late at night. you made her believe that you didn’t know, until one night she returned fucking wasted and made a little bit too much noise.

“seriously, abby?” you inquired her, and she scoffed.

“what?”

“what?! we have a mission in two hours and you are fucking wasted.” she rolled her eyes and that’s when you saw it. “are you high?!” you couldn’t believe it. even less the hickeys decorating her neck. “jesus christ.” she pushed you away when you tried to take a look at them.

“what. jealous your little boyfriend doesn’t fuck you enough?” she sarcastically smirked and your cheeks blushed red in anger.

“the fuck did you just said?” you inquired, stepping closer, your blood boiling.

“always a fucking mood killer. poor stuck up just needs a good fuck, but her boyfriend can’t even make her cum, isn’t that right?” next thing you knew? your knuckles were burning up, and you had punched her, breaking her lip and painting her skin in red. droplets of her blood fell onto the floor, and you were breathing heavy.

“don’t you dare show up for the mission.” you said before leaving, taking your bag with you. you were out for 2 days.

and abby had to sit quiet and nice through the night you came back inside her room, trying to ignore the moans coming from your own, the grunts and the sound of skin against skin. it seemed to be that you had broken up with your boyfriend and had followed her advise to get a good fuck. and it seemed like you did, ‘cause your screams only got louder through the hours. by the time you had kicked the guy out, she had run out of weed, and she had drank half a bottle of whiskey all by herself.

she just wished it could be her.

at 18, she wouldn’t stop snapping at you. it was like walking on eggshells every time you’d go around her. one wrong move and you two would be sent overdrive.

“you are out.” you said, and she scoffed, cleaning the blood out of her knuckles.

“out?”

“i don’t know what the fuck is your problem. but i don’t want you beating someone up just because you feel like it.”

“ ‘feel like it’? you heard what he said. he was the one that started it.” she got up from her seat, stepping closer. she had a bruise on her cheek, and a cut on her eyebrow.

“i don’t want to see you at the training ring until monday.” you said, and her jaw clenched.

“what if i don’t want to?” her breath was hitting your skin, and her hand was now planted next to your face against the wall you were leaning in. you squinted your eyes.

“you wanna find out?” you inquired, nice and low. there were no emotions showing on your face. you were serious. and abby knew. abby knew she shouldn’t. but she wanted.

her blue eyes trailed around your face, falling onto your lips. she needed it.

“you gonna show me?” the tension between the two of you was about to explode, your bodies were ready to swing, and your blood was pumping louder in adrenaline. rage was pooling on your stomach, and in a short breath, you gave her one last chance.

“know your fucking place.” you advised, word by word.

she took a deep breath in. and after seconds that felt a little bit too long, stepped back, locking herself in her room.

she waited, just long enough to hear you getting out your apartment to pull down her jeans and underwear, slick connecting the last pair to her throbbing cunt. she groaned when her fingers found her clit, and later on pushed inside her wet warm walls.

“fuck.”

and she knew she shouldn’t. but she imagined what would have happened if she had taken the chance and jumped. ‘cause she knew were her place was. and it was in between your legs.

today, at her 20 years old, it was no different.

“and i said i could do it. alone!” she said, and you rolled your eyes as you limped towards a chair, grabbing your oozing side. it was just a scratch.

“oh yeah? as if you didn’t almost die out there!“ you scoffed. “fuck off, abby. you’re giving me a migraine.” you said, taking out your backpack some gauze and alcohol. maybe you’d need a couple of stitches.

a group of bandits had attacked your group on one of the routes you used to get some food, and you’d gotten injured by one of them when you’d had to step in to cover her back. you had taken that dagger straight to the gut for her. and she was just acting as always… as a fucking cunt.

she gritted her teeth and threw her backpack to the floor. she was bathed in blood, and her blonde hair was sticking to her sweaty skin.

“stop fucking doing that!” she screamed, and you looked at her with a pissed off face.

“what.”

“treating me as if i were a fucking child! i’m 20 years old. i know how to protect myself. i know how to fight! i don’t need you to protect me!” you scoffed and got up, a groan falling from your lips as you harshly grabbed her hand. “what-?” you looked her straight in the eyes as you pressed her hand against your stomach, only this time, you’d handed her a knife.

“you want me to stop treating you like a child?” you inquired, defiance in your voice. she might be taller, and had more muscle than you, but you were older, and stronger than her. “then kill me.” you said. “show me that you don’t need me anymore. that you can survive without me. and then i will stop treating you like a kid.” you whispered mere inches away from her face, tugging on her wrist to make the blade dig just the slightest into your skin. she looked at you. “do it!” you spat, but she just…couldn’t.

you pushed her away, and took the knife from her, harshly digging it into the wooden table by your side.

“you’re weak.” you said, and her jaw clenched, her hands fisted. “and you know what happens to weak people, abby?” you looked at her, and her blue eyes, and her soft white skin, and her blonde braided hair… “they die.”

she took a sharp inhale.

“i’m not weak.” she said.

“oh, but you are… you couldn’t kill me when i asked you to. you had a knife, and i was wounded and giving you, as you boss, an order and you didn’t follow it!” you screamed, and her chest took in a deep breath. “you’d be dead if it had been another person but me!”

“it won’t happen again.” she said.

“yes it will. like it always does. ‘cause you never follow my orders!”

“no. it won’t!“

“oh yeah? and why is that, hm?”

“because they are not you!” she yelled, and your eyes shot open at her words. “i can’t kill you because you’re you. i will kill anyone but you.”

she was stepping closer, and you looked at her.

“and if that makes me weak… if being weak means wanting to protect you. then i guess i am weak.”

she was awkward, but sincere, she looked flushed, cheeks reddish, body shifting non-stop. she was nervous. but fuck. that wasn’t her heart beating. the quickened heartbeat that you were hearing was your own.

“abby.” you cut her off, stepping backwards. away from her.

“no.” she said. “i’m not finished.” she said, and took another step closer, slowly caging you against the table. oh shit. was she always this tall? was she always this intimidating?

“but you’re. i don’t wanna hear it.” you said, and tried to leave her side, but she caught your wrist.

“you don’t wanna hear what exactly? the fact that i’m unable to kill you? or the fact that i can’t because i love you?” you breath hitched, and your heart stopped. your body froze. your mind was screaming. no. nononononono….

“leave.” the words that left your lips cracked her chest open. your touch was leaving her as you tugged from your hand, your back facing her.

“what?” she muttered, begging to have heard wrong. her heart was about to shatter.

“leave.” you repeated, this time harsher. you weren’t looking at her. you couldn’t look at her.

“but y/n…” she tried and touch you again, to get you to look at her. anything.

“i said. leave.” you said one last time, and you fisted your hands to hide their shaking.

she stepped backwards, looking at you, at your messy hair, at the roughness of your eyes —trying to hide something she wouldn’t, shouldn’t know—, at your tense shoulders… it was like a wall. and she couldn’t hit the brakes.

you didn’t know how much it took. how much she stood there, silently begging for you to not leave. to not push her out of your life, before she went out your door and left you there, alone.

you fell back onto the chair. and took the needle to stitch yourself up. it were the worst stitches you had ever done, cause your hand was shaking too much, and you were sure they’d probably leave a nasty scar, a mark that would never go away. it will stain you forever. just like abby had. just like she always will.

days went by in which you had gone away out borders to find some new food and supplies. the first ever mission that you had went through without abby. in years.

suddenly having you gone was leaving her exposed. exposed to feelings she didn’t wanna feel.

“fuck off owen. i’m not in the mood for your bullshit.” she spat when he saw his friend take a seat beside her. she was bouncing her leg up and down like crazy, and her whole body seemed tense. she had trained. she had broken her knuckles beating up a punching bag. drowned two glasses of whiskey. she had even went out for a goddamn walk to try and calm down. relax. nothing had helped. nothing helps. she was going overdrive. just like she had all those years ago before she had met you, before you had cleaned the blood out of her hands. it was as if… no. she knew you were the only thing that could make her breathe. and you were not there. and she was frustratedly. ‘cause fuck. she had told you she loved you and you had kicked her out and ran.

she had fucked up. that seemed to be the only thing she knew how to do when she was around you.

“woah. chill abs. just wanted to check on you. you’re not looking okay.” he was worried. she couldn’t care enough in that moment.

“maybe that’s because i’m not fucking okay.” she said, and owen simply took a deep breath.

“what happened?” he already knew. he already seemed to know what was the reason why she was feeling that way. you.

“i told her i love her.” owen’s eyes widened. woah. this was… unexpected. sure. owen knew that abby liked you. she had for years. but he never expected that the day she’d tell you would come so soon. “she kicked me out and left me behind the next morning.” she sighed and owen looked at her. “and now i feel like i’m going insane. she’s all i have. she was the only one there for me when my father…” she sat up. “i need her owen. and every second that i spend away from her i feel like dying.” she sighed, and left her seat, pacing around unable to sit still.

owen was silently listening. abby never opened up. to anyone. not even you about how she truly felt sometimes. how she felt about you. so this was something new. something owen was grateful to see.

“is this… is this love or am i going mad?” she let out a sarcastic laughter.

“aren’t they the same thing?” he muttered, looking at her and abby groaned.

“i can’t breathe.” she was freaking out. “i can’t think.” “everything is her. i’m terrified.” owen smiled at her and got up to face her.

“you should be. have you seen y/n?” that made abby chuckle, rolling her eyes at the teasing. “but abby… it’s okay to be scared. love scares people. and you love her.”

“yeah…” she sighed. “i do.”

next time she saw you was when you came back to your apartment. it was really late. so late that it was completely pitch black outside doors.

“what are you doing here?” you inquired as you closed the door behind your back, throwing your backpack onto the floor.

she was sitting on a chair, cleaning a gun on your table, legs spread and wide tilted towards the door.

“waiting for you to come back after having left me fucking behind.” she simply answered, and her arms crossed over her chest, muscles showing.

you scoffed. “sorry. i didn’t know you had to come with me everywhere.” you sarcastically said and she sighed.

“are you pushing me aside because of what i said?” she inquired, and you stiffened.

“abby-“

“because i said that i love you?” she sat up, and stepped closer.

“stop.” you ordered, and she only got closer.

“no. you left me behind. you left me here.” she said, stepping closer to you. “and for days i couldn’t think. i couldn’t breathe without thinking about you, couldn’t sleep without dreaming about you. i can’t stop, because i love you, and i’ve loved you for years.”

“you can’t.” you said, stepping backwards to try and scape from her. it was like for the first time in your life you didn’t have the control. that you were the prey instead of the hunter. “you can’t love me.” you said. “you can’t…” you whispered, looking into her eyes. “ ‘cause if you love me… then i could lose you. and i can’t lose you. anyone but you…” she looked at you, and in a quick flex of her arms she had pinned you to the wall. you only could let out a surprise gasp before she was kissing you, groaning against your mouth, one of her legs being pushed in between your legs.

“tell me to stop. tell me that you don’t feel the way i do.” she muttered against your lips, and you moaned, roughly tugging from her hair to pull her closer. her hands gripped your hips, so hard you were sure it would leave marks, but you couldn’t care. she tugged from your thighs so your legs could surround her waist, crushing you against the wall.

“shit, abby.” you moaned, grip tightening when she sucked on your neck, leaving marks.

“i love you so fucking much, fuck, been dreaming about this since i was fucking sixteen.” she grunted, and you whimpered. she was quick to carry you to bed, kissing you needly and hurriedly pushing your shirt over your head, leaving your chest exposed to her hungry eyes. “so perfect…” your back arched when her big hands harshly cupped your tits, playing with your nipples before sucking your left into her mouth. her now free hand pushed inside your pants and into your underwear. “you’re soaked.” she smirked, and you groaned.

“shut the fuck up.” you said before pulling from her to kiss her again and pulling at her shirt, leaving her in a white sports bra. her toned arms, shoulders and stomach were now in full display, and you couldn’t help but stare. you moaned when her middle finger slid in, her other hand exasperatedly trying to rid you of your pants and underwear. you had to help her before she’d rip them, whimpering when she suddenly thrusted with her finger deeper, hitting a spot that made you clench. “abby!” you screamed her name when you felt her tongue against your clit, her lips sucking on it as she groaned, her free arm surrounding your thigh to pull you closer and flush against her face.

“so fucking sweet… been wanting to eat your pussy for years.” you cheeks burned at her words. so dirty and blunt. it made you squirm. “listen to her. so ready for me and my fingers. poor thing… she’s sucking me right in.” she cooed and you whimpered, making her smirk. her finger left you to make place for her tongue, who fucked you with large deep strokes that left you shaking under her hands. she kept you pinned against the bed, devouring you like a woman starved and making you cry out her name as you pulled from her hair. shit. she looked so fucking pretty in between your legs…

your thighs trembled when this time, two of her large and thick finger pushed inside, making you moan at the stretch. her lips latched to your clit as she started to harshly fuck them into you, curling them to hit your g spot and make you cry. your breath hitched, and you felt your orgasm bubbling on your stomach with every new thrust. “abby, i’m gonna cum…” you whined, and she only sped up her movements, sucking harder, curling her fingers quicker. “abby, fuck!” you screamed as you came, your cum coating her fingers as she fucked you through it. you whimpered when her tongue lapped at every little bit that you gave her, sucking her fingers clean to fuck the last drops of your cum out of your cunt with her tongue.

you laid there, hearing the wet sounds that her tongue made against your pussy, the hum that she let out at your taste.

she left a little peck on your clit before pulling away, licking her lips, which were shining with your juices —along with her chin—.

you looked at her from below, stared at the patch of hair that covered her mound when she got rid of her own pants and underwear, stared at her beautiful breasts when she took off her sports bra… she was completely exposed for you. and you only could tug her closer to kiss her. pushing you tongue inside her mouth to taste yourself off of her lips. she moaned, and pulled from your hips to push one of her thighs over your leg to grind her pussy down on yours. you two let out a groan at the first contact. slick against slick, clit brushing against clit. it sent shivers down your spine.

“fuck. you feel so good…” she grunted, thrusting against your cunt and making you whimper.

“abby don’t stop…” you begged, and she thrusted again.

“never. fuck. you’re mine now. fucking mine.” you moaned, nodding, begging her to go harder. and she did. you two humped each others pussies in need, kissing, cursing, moaning… the room was filled with the wet squelches of your slicks. your clit was throbbing with the overstimulation, but it hurt so good it was making you go insane. watching abby fuck you, groan and pant was making your head feel dizzy. you whimpered and your back arched when she rubbed your clits together, pushing against the edge of another orgasm. you could feel it creeping up your spine, ready to take over your body. “aw, you gonna cum baby? you gonna give me another one?”

baby, baby, baby, baby….

“yes, fuck, abby, please…” you begged, pulling her closer, harder against you until your eyes were rolling to the back of your head and you were screaming as you came all over her cunt. she groaned, thrusting one, two, three more times against you before coming with a grunt, the feeling of your arousal together making her head feel fuzzy.

she held you against her chest as she laid beside you, one of her hands rubbing circles on the naked skin of your hips.

“abby?” you muttered, and she looked at you.

“what is it?”

“i love you too.” you said, and she smiled, her heart jumping inside her chest, hugging you harder, her lips pressing against your forehead. you looked beautiful. and finally, you were completely hers.

a/n; kinda love this one

abby anderson masterlist! <3

xxx

#abby anderson #abby tlou #abby anderson x reader #abby the last of us #abby anderson fluff #abby anderson x fem! reader #abby x reader #abby anderson x fem!reader #abby anderson smut #tlou fluff #tlou fanfiction #tlou part 2 #tlou imagine #tlou fic #tlou #tlou smut #tlou2

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loveisanimaginarydagger3000 · 8 months

Text

The Babysitter (14)

You're All I Want

MILF Wanda Maximoff X Reader

Summary: In need of money and a way to escape the problems at home, you get a job babysitting two lovely boys named Billy and Tommy Maximoff. What happens when you start to feel things you shouldn't for their mother? Will it bloom into love or leave you heartbroken?

A/N- I would just like to say that there will be some sensitive issues in this story such as alcoholism, homophobia, anxiety as well as more mature content such as smut so, if you continue to read this, please consider this warning.

The Babysitter Master list | General Master List

Chapter 14- W/c 3.3k

Tag list- @Natssluttt @cerberus-spectre @dorabledewdroop @bibliophilicbi @hopelesslyfallenninlove (Comment if you want to be added)

You're All I Want

The door clicked behind you, arms immediately enveloping you into a tight embrace as you held onto her body like your life depended on it. Wanda snaked her arms around your body, pulling you impossibly closer while whispering soft and calming words, trying to stop the sniffing and tears that started to spill down your cheek.

"Oh Detka," she cooed, pressing a kiss to your forehead before tilting your head up to look at her. "What happened?" she cautiously asks, not wanting to further upset you. She never wanted to hurt you.

"She...I..," you stuttered out, letting out an annoyed huff before resting your head back against her chest and holding onto her even tighter. She let out a sympathetic noise, simply embracing you as you try and sort your emotions out. "I hate her," you manage out, Wanda's brows furrowing at the raw tone of your voice, the genuine resentment that laced your words. "I hate her," you repeat continuously, trying to express the detestation you had for that woman.

"I've got you Detka, we don't have to talk about it anymore," she coos when you start to sob into her chest, guiding you slowly to the sofa where she pulls you into her lap to keep you close. It hurts Wanda to see you like this, your cries muffled by her neck as you can't stop replaying her vile words in your head.

How could someone ever love you?

Do you really think anyone will love you after what you did?

What you did to this family?

You and your disgusting ways

It should have been you.

You're just a fucking d-

A low hum coaxes you out of the dark spiral of thoughts you were going down, listening to the soft lullaby leaving the older woman's lips. You focus your attention on her and her only, her breathing to try and steady yours, the gentle tune making you focus on the melody instead of your negative thoughts.

When you finally calm down, you reluctantly tear your face away from the safety of her neck, looking at Wanda with glossed over eyes, a soft and almost pained expression taking over her face at your distraught state.

"I'm sorry," you mumble out, feeling bad for breaking down like that and making her once again care for you.

"Don't ever be sorry for not being ok, sweetheart," she whispers, pressing a kiss to your cheeks then your forehead, the warmth of her lips lingering while her fingers interlock with yours. You play with her digits, the two of you just sitting in silence as you feel the pads of her fingers, then trace each little line against her palm and eventually press your whole hand against hers to see that hers were a little bigger.

"I feel like you always have to take care of me," you mumble after a while, eyes fixed on the way she copies your earlier actions, repeating what you did to her hand on yours. Her fingers trail across your hand in a delicate manner, her head raising to look at you at your words.

"I'll always take care of you," her tone drips with sincerity, genuinity evident in her tone as the pools of green in her eyes overflow with affection and care for you.

"But I want to do something to help take care of you," raising your head to look at her, she can see your still watery eyes, a stray tear descending down your cheek, "I want to be there for you in the way you are for me." Carefully, she uses her thumb to brush away the sign of sadness, gazing lovingly into your eyes as she admires your consideration.

"Oh Detka," she chuckles out lightly, kissing your lips softly before pulling back and resting her forehead against yours. "You take care of me without even knowing it, sweetheart," she whispers, your brows furrowing in confusion. "Before I met you, it was the same thing everyday. Work, look after the boys and then sleep. It was repetitive, boring and I just felt so....empty. Don't get me wrong, Billy and Tommy mean the world to me, but I wanted someone to care about me, in the way Vision should have," you listen to every word, disheartened by the way she wasn't being loved the way she deserved. "Then you came along," she beams at you when she pulls away, the sight causing a swarm of butterflies to take over you while the simple look is still enough to have you melting for her, "And you filled that void, Detka."

"Wanda," you whisper out, her just keeping you quiet by claiming your lips softly once more, smiling into the kiss when you do, a blush tainting your cheeks at her words.

"Y/n," she mirrors your low tone, biting her lip to contain her smile before continuing, "You make me feel caredfor in all the ways I could ever want." Her lips ghost yours, the smile breaking out onto her face as she moves impossibly closer without letting your lips meet yet. "You're all I want."

Her nose gently brushes against yours as she finally presses her lips gently against yours, sighing softly when you kiss her back with the same amount of emotion. You raise a hand to cup her jaw, keeping the pace slow as you kiss her again and again and again until you both just lean your foreheads against each other, basking in each other's presence.

"You're all I want," you echo her words, fluttering your eyes open to lock onto hers, Wanda seeming to also not want to break the tender gaze. As you look into her eyes, you see the way they soften at what you said, her opening her mouth to say something else when her phone makes a noise due to a notification.

"I'm sorry Detka, but I need to get the twins now," she murmurs once looking back up from her phone, a message from the school saying their after school club was over soon. "Will you be alright? Or do you want to come with me?" Her tone matches her soft and soothing actions of her fingers gliding up and down your back, creating a warm feeling to settle in your chest at the way she always seems to know you crave her touch.

"I'll stay and try and do some work if that's ok?" You move off her lap, a little sad that you have to move from the very comfortable position.

"That's perfectly fine Detka," she presses one last kiss to your lips, lingering and indulging in the moment for a second longer before begrudgingly parting and getting ready to collect the twins.

***

Too transfixed by your work, you miss how the door of Wanda's office was opened, another figure walking in and soon wrapping her arms around you. Your body jumped at the touch, Wanda letting out a small chuckle and muttering 'revenge' under breath before kissing your cheek, letting you relax and lean back into her body.

"Are you ok, sweetheart?'' Her tone is quiet to mirror the tranquil atmosphere of the room, hands running up and down your sides while you sigh out.

"Yeah," exhaustion is evident in your voice, head tilting back to look up at the older woman with a small smile. Wanda could tell it wasn't genuine and merely raised her eyebrow at you, you rolling your eyes at the motherly action. "I'm just tired," there's truth to your words and Wanda knows it, deciding not to push further and simply claim your lips briefly to make you smile a little, that shy and flustered look that she loves so much taking over your face.

"I told the twins you had a long day at college so hopefully they don't get too hyper with you," she chuckles out while changing the conversation much to your delight, letting her fingers play with the baby hairs at your neck, "But knowing them, as soon as they see you, they're going to go crazy."

A smile takes over your face knowing how much the twins enjoy your company and vice versa, the older woman noticing your mood slowly brightening.

"They do love me," you laugh out, leaning your head back once more to smile up at Wanda.

"They adore you Y/n," she whispers, her heart melting every time she thinks about how much her children truly love you, having someone other than her to look up to.

"I guess we shouldn't keep them waiting then," your tone is significantly happier than what it was mere minutes ago, moving from your seat to get ready to see the twins.

In an organised manner, you pack up your school work and put it away in your bag, Wanda moving to leave the room when you call out for her, "Wait."

She turns around at your voice, her brows furrowed in confusion as you just offer her a smile, lip caught between your teeth. You beckon her over, the smile breaking out on your face when she stops just before you, looking at you in curiosity.

"If we're going to be with the boys for a while," you drag out your words to exaggerate your point, "I think maybe we should have one more kiss."

An ethereal and angelic noise escapes her, chucking at your cuteness before raising her hands to cup your cheeks, face lowering till her nose brushed yours and lips hovered millimetres away from yours.

"I guess you're just going to have to wait a while then, Detka," she purrs, pulling back teasingly making you open your mouth in disbelief.

"What?" Incredulity laces your tone as you are unwilling to believe Wanda would just deprive you of a kiss, a small pout taking over your feature making the older woman almost crack in her composure.

"Come on Detka, we wouldn't want to leave them waiting," she rasps out, walking to the door before pausing and looking over her shoulder, sending you an innocent and charming smile to break you out of your frozen state.

***

Sticking somewhat to their word, the twins aren't as hyper as they normally can get with you, the only moment of pure chaos being at the dinner table when you and the twins burst out into a fit of laughter, Wanda unaware of what silly thing set you three off. She rolled her eyes when she caught your gaze, your fingers brushing away the tears of laughter as you struggled to stop laughing. The action however only further encouraged the boys to carry on laughing until all of you were once again bursting out into giggles.

"My stomach hurts," Tommy mutters out from laughing too much, trying to regulate his breathing.

Wanda merely shakes her head at your antics as you bite on the tip of your finger to stop yourself from starting again, the smile making your cheeks hurt. Despite the strain in your cheeks, you still smile brightly at the woman opposite you, her facial expression softening when you mouth 'thank you' to her for helping cheer you up.

"Go and put a film on before anything else ensues," Wanda tells the boys in a light-hearted but also serious manner as everyone has finished eating, shooing them away playfully towards the living room while collecting their plates to take into the kitchen. You help her clean up, casual conversation easily flowing between you as you let the dishes soak in the water, Wanda coming up behind you and wrapping her arms around you. "So I was thinking," she whispers in the shell of your ear, the action making your breath hitch, "What if we told the boys you were going to have a sleepover in the guest room so that, in the morning, we can all have breakfast together?" You turn around after drying your hand quickly on the tea towel, letting your hands rest on her waist as you peer up at her.

"That sounds amazing," your words bring a smile to her face, the sight of her toothy grin making you also mirror the happy expression. "As long as I don't actually have to sleep in the guest bedroom," you chuckle out, Wanda's smile turning into a mischievous smirk.

"Depends how well behaved you are Detka," she rasps out, your cheeks instantly turning red at her low and sultry tone, "You have to be a good girl to share the bed with me."

"I'll be good," you sigh out, losing yourself in her captivating green as you both stare into each other's eyes. She bites her lip at your words, pressing a kiss to the corner of your lips before pulling away and walking towards the living room where the boys were.

You smile like an idiot for a moment, the domesticity of your whole relationship creating a warm and safe feeling to bubble in your chest.

When you heard your name being called, you shook yourself out of the memories of Wanda that were flicking through your mind and eventually made your way to join the others.

For the twins' entertainment, not because you wanted to, you dramatically flopped onto the empty sofa earning a chorus of giggles from the trio of Maximoffs on the other piece of furniture. Peaking one eye open, you were met with humoured gazes, yours instinctively going to green.

Wanda softly smiled at you while the boys were trying to find where they put the remote to finally start the film, interrupting their movements with her words.

"Boys, what do you think of Y/n maybe having a sleep over tonight?" As soon as the words left her lips, the boys jumped up in excitement, their answer obvious.

"It's going to be so fun!" Tommy exclaims, his brother in agreement as they decide to join you on the sofa you claimed, a puff of air escaping you as they decide to lay on top of you.

"You can share our room with us," Billy rushed out in elated tone, yours and Wanda's heart melting at the reactions.

"I'm sorry Dorogie (darling)," Wanda murmurs out, the boys lifting their head off you to look at the mother, "But Y/n will be sleeping in the guest bedroom," you raise your eyebrow at Wanda, her merely shrugging her shoulders subtly at you while the boys let out displeased groans.

"But mom-" Wanda raising a single eyebrow at Tommy is enough to stop him protesting, knowing that if he tried he wouldn't win.

Eventually, the twins settled, paying their attention to the film while remaining on top of you. They claimed you were a comfortable pillow, you barking out a laugh while Wanda mutters agreement under her breath making you smile over at her. She rolls her eyes when she realises you caught her, cheeks tinting red and you can't look away from her, especially when she was blushing like that.

Failing miserably, you try to steal glances at the older woman while the film plays, her seemingly knowing when you were looking and casting her eyes in your direction, the action causing you to snap your head back over to the screen.

Your cuteness never fails to make her smile, Wanda almost eagerly waiting to catch you staring at her, deciding it was far more interesting than whatever film had been put on. She adored the way you would try and play it off on some occasions, pretending as if you were simply cracking your neck or admiring the various decorations on the wall. Not at all interested in the alluring woman. Not at all.

"Wanda," you whisper-shouted to gain her attention, grinning at her while motioning to the two sleeping figures at your side and half on you. The graceful smile that stretched across Wanda's face created a strange, but pleasant, feeling to course through you, keeping your eyes trained on the upwards curve of her lip to prolong the moment a little bit before she started to whisper back.

"Can you help me get them into bed?"

"If you can help get them off of me," you quip back, making her shake her head while trying not to laugh at the expression on your face when Tommy snuggled closer into your body.

"Dorogies (darlings)," she murmurs softly, kneeling by the sofa you were all on and gently brushing their hair out of their faces. "Wake up for me," they stir and smile drowsily at their mother before sending you a sleepy grin, reluctant to get up. When they do, it's fairly easy to send them to bed as they are tired and desperate to drift back off to sleep.

You hovered by the doorframe as Wanda tucked them into bed, whispering them both goodnight and pressing a gentle kiss to their foreheads, the motherly action tugging at your chest but your love for them overpowering the painful feeling. She smiles at you when she leaves the room, flicking off the light and shutting the door silently before wrapping her arms around your waist from behind and pulling you closer. Your arms snake around the arms at your middle, head leaning back against her body as you peer up at her with a soft smile etched onto your face.

"Have I been good enough?" you murmur out while turning in her arms in the hallway, peering up at her while your lip is caught between your teeth, hopeful the answer is yes.

"Hmm, let me think," she pretends to ponder for a moment, slowly walking you closer to her room while still acting as if she was deep in thought. When she guides you into her room and shuts the door, closing the gap between you to claim your lips in an affectionate manner, you gather the answer is a definite yes. "I suppose so," she whispers out against your lips, smiling into the next kiss, and the next as you softly press your lips together.

Both of you part to get ready for bed, you slipping on one of your dad's old shirts on and admiring it in the mirror near her bed, Wanda coming up behind you and propping her head on your shoulder while securely wrapping her arms back around your middle. She simply gazes into your eyes through the reflection, watching the mix of emotions swirling around in your eyes and moving to press a featherlight kiss to your cheeks.

"Let's go to bed Detka," her tone is soothing as you offer a small smile, taking her hand in yours while she pulls you into the bed. Your limbs immediately tangle as you snuggle into the older woman, resting your head on the pillow next to her and once again getting lost in her eyes.

You think you could forever stare into the mesmerising sight of her eyes, flickering your gaze over each shade of green and watching the way they soften as they continue to look at yours. You're so transfixed by them, you miss what she says, cheeks tinting pink as you grow shy and flustered under her eyes.

"What did you say?" you sheepishly ask, her fingers moving up to brush the few hairs out of your face before settling on stroking your cheeks with the back of her fingers, the action soothing and lulling you slowly to sleep.

"I asked if you were ok Detka," her tone is so soft and it makes you smile in appreciation, still amazed at how much she cares for you.

"I'm...I'm not ok but I will be because of you," your answer is honest and sincere, Wanda understanding of what you're saying, "You're all I want," her words from earlier are once again echoed, "You're all I need."

"You're all I want, Detka," she whispers out lowly, claiming your lips once more before parting and moving to rest her head at the crook of your neck. Your arms both wrap around each other to stay close, the comforting embrace enough to send you both to sleep.

The agonising events from earlier dissipate from your mind as you subconsciously hold onto Wanda tighter, knowing she was the only thing you needed to get through everything.

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milaisreading · 8 months

Note

Hello can I request crossdresser!y/n being in barou's place (after the u-20 match) and his family warmly welcomed her and she almost teared up Infront of them?? 😭😭

🌱🩷: THIS WAS SUCH A CUTE REQUEST! THANK U🩷🩷

Warnings: Reader uses she/her. In the story the boys will be using he/him when addressing Yn. Requests for this series are open. Also I made up the names of Barou's sisters!

⚽️Blue Lock belongs to Muneyuki Kaneshiro and Yusuke Nomura⚽️

'Stay calm (Y/n)... it's just Barou's family... are they as scary as my own?! Or as uptight as Reo's?!' (Y/n) gulped as she stood near the gates of Barou's house, fidgeting the random pastries she bought on her way there.

"I can't... what if they will go in on my appearance, too? Or what if Barou's siblings start judging me like my brothers do."

Taking a deep breath, she slowly took her phone out of the pocket and dialed a familiar number. (Y/n) nervously tapped her foot, feeling like throwing up her lunch as Barou answered.

"Loser, where are you?"

"I can't bring myself to ring the doorbell!"

"What?! Why are you being so dramatic?! Just ring the doorbell!"

"I can't! My legs are frozen here at the gates... maybe I should have called you an hour ago..." She sneezed. There was short silence and (Y/n) could feel the anger bubbling up inside Barou from the other side.

'I am fucked.' She closed her eyes and moved the phone away from her ear.

"ARE YOU STUPID?! AN HOUR?!" Barou took a deep breath and she heard feet moving around and doors opening.

"I can't leave you anywhere! Stay there- Mina, stop playing with the spoon!"

"Mama, Shouei-nii is being mean!"

Those were the last things (Y/n) heard before the line went silent. She put her phone in her pocket again and looked up at the darkening sky.

'I can do it! I can do it! I can do it-'

"IDIOT! I WILL KILL YOH IF YOU GET SICK!" Barou yelled as he opened the gate, glaring over at (Y/n), who jumped in fright.

"I am too young to die! Do you know how many cuisines I didn't try yet?!" She yelled, glaring over at him.

After about 5 minutes of Barou calming (Y/n) down, they walked towards the entrance door.

"You didn't have to bring us anything... we invited you-"

"No. It's the least I can do after your parents offered dinner and a sleepover." (Y/n) quickly said back as Barou opened the door.

"Idiot..."

"Stop calling me that." She said, sending him a side glare.

"Stop being one."

"Nii-san, why are you being mean to the only normal friend you ever had?" The two stopped at the entrance and looked down at a girl with red eyes and dark brown hair looking up at them. She didn't look older than 8.

"Mina, shut up." Barou said with a red face as another girl approached them. She had brown eyes and black hair, and didn't look older than 14.

'So... these are Barou's sisters?' (Y/n) thought.

"Mina is right, nii-san. Aside from (L/n)-san, I don't know who else could tolerate you."

"Mina, Akane, shut up."

(Y/n)'s jaw dropped at how casual the three siblings were with each other, the younger two going as far to yell back at Barou. It was something she really wasn't used to.

'My brothers would break my nose if I dared to talk like this.'

Just as the siblings were about to get louder, another voice echoed through the room.

"What are you three doing there?! That's no way to welcome our guest! Especially when he is still one foot in the cold."

The four tensed up as they turned to look at a much older man, who looked similar to Barou.

'Well... seems like he got his looks from his dad...' (Y/n) looked between the older man and Barou, who huffed a little.

"Sorry, dad."

'How are they so casual?! My dad would ground me if I didn't add any honorifics.'

"Hush! All of you! The poor boy is still in the cold." A woman with brown hair and eyes walked into the hallway while looking at (Y/n) in concern, a look she didn't get from her adoptive mother ever since she arrived at the house.

'That must be Barou's mom...'

The girl shook her head and her face turned red as the family turned their attention to her.

"I...It's fine! Than-thanks for having me here!" She said nervously and bowed.

"(L/n) (Y/n), it's an honor to meet you all."

"Nii-san... how did you end up befriending such a polite guy?" Akane raised her eyebrow as (Y/n) looked back at the trio.

"What do you want to say with that?" Barou sent the middle child a warning glare.

"You are rude." Akane said back as Mina joined in on the fun.

"And you snore!"

"What does that have to do with anything?!"

Barou's father sighed as he walked over to calm the trio down, as the mother walked over to (Y/n), sending her a welcoming smile.

"Ignore them, they are like that all the time, but they mean no harm. Come in now, it's probably cold."

(Y/n) slowly nodded her head at the woman as she lead her inside and closed the door behind her.

"You really don't need to help me. Just go and hang out with Shouei." The older woman said as she watched (Y/n) cutting some vegetables. The girl shook her head and looked over at the woman.

"It's the least I can do after inviting me over."

"It's really nothing. I was happy to find out Shouei has finally found a friend... he always had a hard time finding peers to get along with."

"He did? Also, he called me his friend?" (Y/n) asked in surprise, she never thought Barou saw her as anything more than a teammate.

"Yes, Shouei is... he can be a lot... and I can see that you are pretty accepting of his nature. It's really nice to see you don't judge him for who he is." The woman's words caught (Y/n) off guard, and there was a short silence between the two.

"I really don't mind Barou's nature... it's really refreshing from what I am used to, and... judging him would just be a waste of time."

The woman looked at (Y/n) in surprise and slowly smiled while nodding.

"You are a good kid, (Y/n). I am happy to have you here. I can also see why you were picked as the team's captain."

The girl blushed a little at that as she felt her lips quiver.

'Don't come out now.'

Slowly nodding her head, she continued chopping the vegetables.

During dinner, the family would ask (Y/n) some questions about life and how Blue Lock was. The girl would answer them as honestly as possible. While mostly talking to the parents, (Y/n) never noticed Barou sending his sisters warning looks, since he knew they were about to embarrass him with whatever they wanted to say.

"So, what are your plans after Blue Lock? Do you plan on pursuing football professionally?" Barou's dad askes as (Y/n) quickly gulped down her food.

'This feels like one of those scenes where the girlfriend brought her boyfriend to meet the parents.' She suppressed a laugh as she spoke up.

"I will see... if a club offers to take me in as a player, I will gladly accept. But I do plan on finishing my studies while doing so."

"You do?"

"Mhmm. I like thinking ahead... and with a degree I have a more secure future in case something happens." She explained to the older man.

There was a short silence, and (Y/n) started to panic that she said something wrong.

"Well... now I see who the responsibile one in this friendship is." Akane laughed.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Barou glared at her as (Y/n) grabbed his sleeve to hold him back.

"Nothing~"

"While we have the attention on me!" Mina chirped in.

"We really don't." Barou answered back.

"(Y/n)-nii! I need to tell you of the time Barou called his teacher mom!"

"Mina, shut up!" Barou's face turned red as he sent an awkward glance towards (Y/n).

"Please calm down you both. And I have to say, seeing a young boy like you being so responsible and thinking ahead is very refreshing." (Y/n) looked at the man and slowly nodded her head.

"I am sure you are a son your parents can only be proud of."

Barou noted the way (Y/n) stiffened a little and she awkwardly nodded her head.

"I guess..." She sent the man an unsure smile.

"Well, I for one am happy Shouei found a friend in you."

The man finished, leaving (Y/n) at a loss of words for a moment.

'Don't come out now... don't come out now...' She chanted to herself, holding herself back from crying.

"Sorry for my parents and sisters... they can be a handful." Barou said awkwardly as the two walked a little bit through the neighborhood after dinner. It was a calm and cold night, and (Y/n) couldn't help but find it comforting.

"It's ok... they are really kind. And they care for you a lot." (Y/n) smiled at the boy, who simply nodded his head.

"Yeah, they do.... you know, you are always welcome here." Barou blushed a little as he said the last part.

"I will note that one down." (Y/n) said, trying to make it come off as a joke, but she really meant it. Tonight was one of a kind experience for her.

'For the first time since this break started I felt like I am at home.' She smiled to herself as Barou observed her silently.

For a while, the silence stayed like that, and Barou eventually cleared his throat to speak up.

"The moon in beautiful, isn't it?"

The girl looked in surprise at Barou and then up at the moon, not noticing the red tinting his cheeks.

"It is beautiful... I didn't take you as someone who observes the moon. Should I call you Moon king from now on?" (Y/n) laughed as Barou glared at her.

"You can be unbearable sometimes."

"Thanks!"

"That isn't a compliment!"

#bllk #blue lock anime #blue lock manga #blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #crossdressing #blue lock barou #barou shouei #bllk barou #barou shoei x reader #barou x reader #blue lock requests

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scrollonso · 2 months

Text

First Kiss (Race 5)

A strollonso AU where 18 year old rookie Lance Stroll falls helplessly in love with the notoriously mean world champion. (1.9k words, angst, description of a car crash, drunk lance, fluffy ending) [@v3lnys @biancathecool] {I picked David Coulthard to be the cause of the crash because he DNF in Europe 2006 and bc he's no stranger to being yelled at for crashes, LMAO}

last part - masterlist - next part

Lance walked back into the paddock, engaged in a conversation with Nico. He had yet to get his actual drivers liscense out of pure laziness so the German was left to drive them almost everywhere together.

"Thanks again" Lance laughed, feeling slightly bad for making Nico be his personal chauffeur.

"Don't thank me, I only do it so people believe our PR friendships real" He joked, nudging the taller man with his elbow

"Ow" Lance frowned, clutching his heart "Words hurt, Rosberg" He looked down, trying to hide the smile on his face

"Cmon, daddy didn't tell you he's paying me for this?"

"No way, are we both being paid?" Lance looked up, the fake shocked expression on his face earning a laugh from his teammate

Qualifying was okay, Nico secured 9th and Lance got 12th (after a minor chassis problem that caused him to have to pit for half of quali)

Lance should've been upset but he didn't mind, he'd been in front of Nico most of the season so far so he was looking forward to letting his teammate shine.

Of course he wanted to win like everyone else in F1 but the last thing he was going to do was let it ruin personal relationships he was building, work was completely different than home, his friends were different than the coworkers he knew.

He greeted Nico warmly, congratulating him as Quali ended, wishing him good luck on the race the next day.

Fernando came over not long after, having secured pole position.

"Lancito, good job today" He hummed, patting the Canadian on the back

"I'm convinced I could get p30 and you'd still congratulate me" Lance laughed, wrapping his arm around the Spaniard

"It takes a lot of skill to do so bad they have to make a new space for you" Fernando shook his head, his lips slightly curved up as he spoke

"I'm just saving all my energy for the race when I overtake you"

"Oh, really? I'll keep an eye out for you then, mi sol" He said, eyes only leaving Lance when he heard his name being called, his engineer needing him "Good luck tomorrow, Lancito. Let's get you points again, eh?"

Lance nodded, watching as the older man left, feeling his heart flutter in his chest as he thought about how he was looking up at him. It felt nice having someone to admire in the sport as much as Lance admired Fernando, he was a great driver.

Time passed faster than Lance thought it would, before Lance knew it he was lined up on the grid, eyes scanning the cars around him, David Coulthard in p11 next to him.

As the lights went out and the race begun he sent it, overtaking into p10 almost straight away, Coulthard close behind him.

It stayed this way for a few laps, the Brit almost on his rear wing as they raced, he was just trying to keep him there.

It seemed as if everything was going according to plan until the pair reached turn 14 once more, Coulthard was sure he'd be able to overtake, speeding up and reaching Lances side just to be met with their wheels touching, Lance could feel it in his body as the drivers car made contact with his, his left back tire practically flying off his car as he spun out of controll, David losing his front wing as Lance spun of the track, causing him to pull off as well, tire losing air as both cars came to a stop.

They were on opposite sides of the track, the asphalt between them stopping any conversations from happening.

Once he reached the Racing Point garage he was quick to storm down the pit lane, tearing off his helmet and balaclava as he found his way to the Red Bull garage, Brad trying to stop the fuming Canadian

"Lance, Lance stop it. Come back to the garage we need to-"

"Fuck off, Okay? This is a fucking sport and a part of that is talking it out after shit like this happens. Believe me, I have some things to say to Coulthard." He practically spat, not meaning to take his anger out on his engineer but he was the closest one there

They reached the garage, a crowd forming as the two began speaking

"Do you feel better now? Fighting with me over tenth place knowing damn well neither of us were in the position to earn points anyways?"

"I know you're a rookie so you might not get it yet but part of RACING is OVERTAKING, I was doing what I'm here to do."

"You're here to destroy my car and run me off the fucking track? Really? I find that hard to fucking believe, Coulthard."

"Oh come on, Lance. We all know your daddy doesn't have a problem with fixing your mistakes. That's how you got the seat, right? Daddy knew you fuck up too much to get a seat so he bought two for you and Keke Rosbergs son."

"You have a lot of fucking nerve, Coulthard. You know that?" Lance got closer, he already wasn't finishing the race so how much harm would a little physical contact outside of the car cause?

By now both of the teams where trying to stop the drivers, yelling and trying to get between the two men, blinded by anger towards one another

The race was slowly finishing, Fernando ending up in p2 as the fight was still going on, Lance screaming into the 35 year olds face as he scoffed, refusing to apologize, Lance didn't think of himself as a violent person but he wasn't going to stand around and let some ugly arrogant prick disrespect him and refuse to admit the crash was his fault.

"YOU RUINED THE RACE FOR THE BOTH OF US." All he wanted was for that to get through the Englishmans thick fucking skull "God, you're a fucking fils de pute." He spoke under his breath, astonished at the audacity of the racer "You know, for someone who's been racing for twelve years and hasn't even come close to a world championship you sure are a stuck up cunt."

And with that Lance was finally pulled away from the garage, David Coulthard having nothing to say in response.

Lance felt like he was getting scolded for hours, even if it was only 15 minutes, the team trying to explain how he shouldn't have done that even if it was Coulthards fault

"Lancito?" He heard a familiar voice, being snapped away from his thoughts as he shot up, leaving members of the team in the middle of their sentences to go to Fernando

"Thank fucking god you're here. Are you thirsty? I'd kill for a drink right now"

"Lancito, Are you sure drinking is the best thing for you to do now?" He questioned as if he wasn't still following behind him

"What, do you think I'm being dramatic too?" He scoffed, stopping in his tracks to turn back to Fernando, he looked mad to anyone else but Fernando knew he was just hurt, Lance hated crashes, hated not finishing, hated disappointing people, and even though the last thing Fernando was was disappointed in the boy he knew Lance would still think he was.

"Let's get you that drink, mi sol. Getting your mind off it will help, eh?"

Lance expected to be taken to some cheap place around the city but instead Fernando drove them back to his hotel, deciding it'd be better to let Lance cause a scene in his hotel room rather than in some German bar.

The two drank together, Lances lack of experience and tollerance when it came to alcohol being painfully obvious.

"He's such a prick" Lance slurred, his voice more whiney than usual

"I know, Lancito, He really is." Fernando hummed, leaning back in his chair as his eyes stayed on the Canadian

"You're like my guardian angel, Nando, y'know?" Lance looked at him, lips slightly curved before he began speaking again "Never stop congratualting me, please, it-" hiccup "It means a lot"

Fernando just nodded, setting down his glass

"I-" He stopped abruptly, drinking more "I love doing good, when I do good I know you'll be proud of me" He ran his fingers through his hair, annoyed at the long strands covering his vision "I'm sorry- I'm sorry I'm not the best, Nando" He confessed, looking over at the Spaniard "I don't deserve my seat, but- but it's okay because I get to see you, I love seeing you win, it makes what people say about me worth it when I'm the first one you come to after the podium"

Fernando just listened, not saying much as it became more and more evident Lance would forget it all by the next morning anyway

"I-" hiccup " I love seeing you walk to me, passing all the girls, they're so pretty, it makes no sense why you walk past them for me, but i love it, seeing you ignore them and look at me like I'm prettier than all of them" hiccup

He smiled, not being able to help it as he heard the younger ramble on, glad he was no longer stuck on being upset about the crash

"Don't stop, Nando"

"Hm?" Fernando hummed, watching Lance set down his glass. He took that as a chance to stand up and snatch it away, figuring the younger man had drank enough. Fernando and Lance were now closer, Fernando looking down at Lance as he awaited a response

"Looking at me like this, taking care of me how you do, please don't leave me, Nando" He begged, reaching out for the Spaniards arm "Promise me you'll never stop congratulating me after races, please Nando, I need you."

He was taken aback by the sudden change in tone Lance had brought to the conversation. Fernando swallowed dryly, staring back at the Canadian, he looked gorgeous, the waves of his hair messily laying across his face, the lighting hitting him just right to show off the gorgeous colour of his eyes

"Let's get you to bed, Lance." He whispered, helping him stand up as he walked with him to his bed, pulling back the covers with one hand while he held Lance with the other, surprised at how light the Canadian really was

He sat Lance down, kneeling to take off his shoes before instructing him to lay down and pulling the covers back up.

"Goodnight, Lancito" He whispered, brushing the hair from his face as the Canadian hummed a response, not fighting sleep as it took over him surprisingly fast

Fernando on the other hand was fighting, not sleep, but the feelings Lance brought to light with his drunken words. He hadn't thought much of it before, sure he felt different with Lance than he did with his other friends but he was so much younger that he figured he was just taking a more mature role in the friendship. Now he wasn't so sure.

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bella-rose29 · 9 months

Text

How's your sister?

Nikolai x f!Verkov!reader

Nikolai falls in love with his best friend's sister, much to Dominik's (apparent) annoyance.

I've mixed stuff from the books and from the show which is why they're Verkov's (I don't think Dominik has a last name in the books but someone let me know if he does).

This is also an apology for Golden Boy (please forgive me, part two will be out soon).

Word count: 3k (It wasn't meant to be this long I got carried away oops)

Warnings: mentions of being shot, people getting punched (really only Nikolai, poor guy), swearing, a very fast-moving relationship at the end

Tag list: @bubybubsters, @hauntedenthusiasttragedy, @karensirkobabes, @kentucky-criedfricken, @notoakay, @naushtheaspiringauthor, @el-de-phi, @simbaaas-stuff

Nikolai met his best friend when he was 9 years old.

He didn't know it at the time, but Dominik would be his rock in the tidal wave that was life at court, and the two boys would be inseparable, no matter how far they were from each other.

They were sat in class, Dominik terrified of every movement, jumping and startled at any loud noise or harsh word, and when Nikolai's misbehaviour led to Dominik's pain, the prince knew that he had to change his attitude, the kindness in his heart outweighing his love for pranks. After that day, Nikolai was the perfect student, attentive and listening, although he quickly became friends with Dominik, creating a secret code to talk to each other in lessons, and spending the rest of their time running around in fields with the each other, covering themselves in dirt and grass stains.

When the two boys were 12, Nikolai had his first proper family meal at Dominik's house. He had snuck out in the evening, going unnoticed by everyone, and knocked on their door. Dominik had answered, giddy with joy that his friend had made it, but embarrassed at the state of their farm compared to the luxury that Nikolai was used to. Nikolai didn't mind at all, complimenting every detail and feeling more at home in this run-down house than he ever had in the palace, and Mrs Verkov's cooking was so good he thought he might have died and gone to heaven. He did the washing up, despite the family's protests, then reluctantly let Dominik help with the drying. His older brother was soon to go join the army, as Nikolai found out that night, and Dominik was worried for his safety.

It wasn't until years later that Nikolai would be able to help their family, but for now they were the ones helping him, giving him an escape and a place to just be himself (although Dominik's parents kept calling him 'moi tsarevich', and refused to use any other name).

One summer evening, the boys now 14, Nikolai was having dinner with Dominik's family again, laughing as he set out the cutlery and joking with his friend. A knock sounded on the door, startling the prince and making him drop a fork. Dominik rushed to the door, practically bouncing off of the walls, and as he bent down to retrieve the implement he listened to the sound of excited voices by the door. He had barely finished standing up and brushing the dust off of his knees when Dominik returned, pulling a girl along by her hand and chucking her bag in a corner.

"Dom! Be careful with that, it's got all my stuff in it!" she scolded lightheartedly, and Saints her voice was the most magical thing he had ever heard. She poked his friend in the side, laughing when he recoiled, and Nikolai decided that her laugh was even more magical than her voice.

"Oh, this is my friend, Nikolai," Dominik said, gesturing towards the golden haired boy. "Nikolai, this is my sister, Y/n. She just got back from boarding school in the south." Nikolai stared dumbly at her, face going pink. She was beautiful.

"Hi," she said, sticking her hand out. He took it, offering a shaky smile.

"Hi," he replied. "Wait." He furrowed his brow. "Are you sure he's your brother? Because I'm not seeing any resemblance here. I mean, you're gorgeous and he's... Dom." At her laugh, he flushed more deeply, and realised he was still holding her hand. It was warm, and soft, and he never wanted to let go.

She leaned in close, speaking in a loud whisper. "I'm fully convinced we're not actually related and he was swapped with my real brother, because you're totally right, I am stunning."

"You know that I can hear you both, right? I am stood right here. But please, by all means, go ahead." A wicked gleam entered his expression, and he opened his mouth to speak again. "Maybe I should talk about the time that Nikolai-" he was cut off by a hand slapping over his mouth, eyes going wide with silent laughter as he took in Nikolai's panicked expression.

"Please. I'm begging you, no embarrassing stories." Dominik nodded, still holding back his laugh, and Nikolai slowly removed his hand.

"I'll consider it. I'm expecting you to make it up to me at some point, you bastard."

"Language!" his mother shouted from the second room, and all three of them burst into giggles, with Y/n snorting loudly. "Dinner's ready too!" They made their way to the table, Nikolai engineering it so that he was sat next to Y/n after getting another set of cutlery for her. They talked about anything and everything, learning things about each other and pelting mash at Dominik when he commented on how close they already were.

"How come you go to boarding school?" he asked at one point, curiosity getting the better of him.

"My aunt is on the governor's board, but she refuses to send us any money. Luckily for me, she believes that 'all young ladies should have a proper education'," - at her fake posh voice, Nikolai laughed - "so she convinced them to take me in on a scholarship. Don't have to pay for a thing."

When dinner was over, washing up done and goodbyes said, Nikolai didn't want to leave. He'd had fun, more than he had in a while (which had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that he had a crush on his best friend's sister), and he knew that tomorrow would be gruelling, filled with meetings and extended time with old ministers. The walk home was cold, the sun having set hours ago and clouds covering the night sky. When he went to bed that night, he couldn't stop thinking about Y/n.

~~~

The next time Nikolai saw Dominik, he immediately asked "How's your sister?" and his friend groaned.

"No, absolutely not. I am not doing this with you," he wagged a finger in Nikolai's direction, walking off in the direction of the lake, the prince jogging to catch up.

"Not doing what? I'm just asking a question," he said.

"You're not though, because I saw you the other night, chatting her up and everything, and as much as I love you, Nik, I also love my sister."

Nikolai spluttered, searching for the right words to convince his friend that his sister was Nikolai's soulmate (maybe a little over the top, but then again Nikolai was always one to have a flair for the dramatic).

"I was not chatting her up! And if I was, I would have done it so well we'd already be married, thank you!"

"You have far too much confidence in your abilities, Nikolai. You were chatting her up, and you were doing it badly." They reached the lake, sitting down on the grassy bank and going silent for a few minutes. Dominik sighed. "She's fine, if you must know. Asked where you were yesterday, since we were having a whole family meal again."

"Really? She asked about me?" He perked up at that, mind already racing with thoughts of her.

"Yes, she did. But not in a 'I want to marry him' way, just in a 'I'm a nice person and I'm curious' way, so don't get your hopes up." Nikolai nodded, smile on his face. He couldn't stop thinking about it all day, or the next, or in fact for the rest of the week, and when he next saw her, he'd planned everything out so meticulously, nothing could go wrong.

~~~

He face-planted in front of her.

He hadn't meant to, obviously, but he'd been distracted at seeing her in the Palace gardens, and had lost his footing, tripping over his own feet. She'd seen him walking and waved, shocking him and making him fall.

Rushing over and very clearly trying not to laugh, she helped him up, asking if he was okay.

"I'm alright, Y/n. Thought I was going to step on... a frog," he winced at his terrible excuse, then at the state of his clothes (state: covered in mud), but she didn't seem to mind. "How come you're here?"

"School trip. Something about how one day we'll all be in court if we're lucky, and marry rich. Personally I think prof just wants to get a good look at all the fancy women, since he's apparently a 'ladies' man'," she jabbed her thumb over her shoulder as she gestured to her teacher and Nikolai laughed. "Are you sure you're okay? Can't have been a soft landing."

"Seriously, I'm fine. I've had worse, like when Dominik shoved me in the river that one time."

"Well, as long as you're alright. Wouldn't want to damage your pretty face now, would we?" she said, then turned and walked off, a skip in her step as she rejoined her friend. He stared at her retreating form, blush creeping up his neck and onto his face as he took in her words.

Did she just...?

How come he was the hopeless one, and she was the one flirting? He chalked it down to the fact he'd fallen over, and wasn't quite himself because of it, then brushed himself off slightly and kept walking.

~~~

When Nikolai was 16, he was obligated to take his year of service in the army, and Dominik went with him. Instead of taking the usual position of power, Nikolai joined the infantry, becoming a normal soldier with the people of his country and building up connections with them.

For the past two years, every time he had seen Dominik (which had lessened the past year after Dominik's family were banned from the Palace) he had always started off with the question "How's your sister?" and although he had said it was just a joke now, Dominik knew his friend better. He always rolled his eyes in response, and eventually smiled about it too, after the night before they left for the army.

Nikolai had come over after the celebration at the Palace, sneaking out in the dark despite having been caught by Vasily the year before, not needing light since he knew the way like the back of his hand. Arriving at the farm, he knocked on the door, catching his breath for a moment.

He promptly lost it, however, when Y/n answered the door, juggling the handle and a towel as she dried her hair. She'd been back at school the past two years, staying there over the summer, so he hadn't seen her, but Saints, had she gotten more beautiful? She'd clearly just washed her hair, robe tied tightly around her and her hair wet and limp around her face, but Nikolai couldn't help but think of her as stunning.

"Are you going to come in, or keep standing there with your mouth open?"

He quickly shut it, then the door behind him, blushing (he seemed to do that a lot around her) at having been caught. He could never tell if she felt the same way or if that was just how she acted, but he hadn't seen her with anyone else to know.

"Aren't we all banned from seeing you, or something?" she asked, and he nodded.

"Everybody's having a party about me being sent off into certain doom, so it was easy to get out. I won't stay long, I just wanted to see your parents before I leave tomorrow."

"Well we're all in here, sorry about this," she gestured to herself. "Just had a bath since I got back from school about an hour ago. Carriage was boiling, I was practically sweating my tits off in there." He malfunctioned slightly as he tried to not think of her in the bath (it didn't work), laughing belatedly at her final comment. She looked at him weirdly, smiling in confusion, then moved into the family room.

"Nik! What are you doing here?!" Dominik jumped up, swiftly embracing his friend in a hug so tight he thought his lungs might burst.

"Couldn't resist. Besides, how's your sister?" the last part was whispered, a smirk on Nikolai's face.

"Why don't you ask her yourself, dumbass, given she is also in the room."

"Ask who what?" Y/n piped up, picking up on the fact the boys were having a conversation.

"Yeah Nik, what did you wanna ask?"

"Oh, just... How are you, Y/n? Haven't seen you in a while, is all. You still look gorgeous, by the way," he finished with a wink, revelling in her faint blush and small laugh.

"Thanks, Nik. I'm alright, school's horrible, though. Not that I'm complaining, mother, I just don't enjoy having to sit with a pole up my back for 10 hours every day." Nikolai and Dominik winced at the idea, and the prince could sympathise. He'd had the same training when he was younger, and eventually it got so bad he sat with such perfect posture the broom was never seen again (and definitely not because he'd burned it).

Dominik's mother stood, wrapping Nikolai in a hug similar to the one he'd received from her son not too long ago, and Nikolai mourned his possibly bruised ribs. His father did the same, slapping both boys on the back and congratulating them, wishing them the best.

Nikolai sat with them for another twenty minutes (at the request of Mrs Verkov, and he couldn't really say no when she presented a cup of tea), then got up to leave, saying his goodbyes to Dominik's family and promising to find his friend tomorrow.

"I'll walk you out," Y/n said, and he followed her out to the front door, waving at her parents and Dominik.

She stood nearby as he shrugged his jacket on, then as he turned to leave, she pulled him into a hug, and he realised she was crying.

"Promise me you'll be careful?" she sniffed, wiping the tears off of her cheeks when she pulled back from his chest. He moved her hand away, brushing his thumb over her face in a softer attempt to remove the tears.

"Promise."

"Okay. You'll... you'll come back to me- to us, right? Alive and in one piece?" His heart leapt at the idea that she wanted him to come back to her, and he nodded, hand still holding her face.

"Alive and in one piece. I'll come back to you, I promise." She nodded, then hesitated for a split second before pushing herself up onto her tiptoes and kissing him on the cheek.

"I'll see you in a year then, Kolya." And she turned and walked back into the other room.

"See you in a year," he muttered, fingers pressing to the space where her lips had been.

~~~

When Nikolai returned from the army, he redoubled his previous efforts to get the court to like him, becoming even more charming and likeable than he had been before. He told himself it was because he was the spare, and therefore needed some way of garnering support within a group of people that were more likely to favour his brother, but really it was because he'd heard that Y/n was getting married.

He hadn't seen her since he'd come back, but when he had met up with Dominik a few days ago, he asked his usual "How's your sister?" expecting the normal rolling of eyes and vague response. Instead, he received a wary look, and the knowledge that she was engaged. Nikolai had gone numb inside, and had thrown himself into becoming the person that court wanted him to be, all the way up until he had gone to University.

Running away and becoming Sturmhond was one of the best decisions he had ever made, but he thought about Y/n every day. Sailing the True Sea had been a dream they'd had together, and now that he was doing it without her, he couldn't help but feel the pang of longing for her company, married or not. He couldn't bring himself to find out anything about her life, not wanting to die of heartbreak when he found out about her incredibly handsome husband, their five children and a dog (maybe a little dramatic, but still).

Then Alina Starkov had turned up, and turned his world upside down.

After spending time with her hunting the Sea Whip, he figured that a back up plan would be needed, and decided that an alliance between the Lantsov throne and the powerful Sun Summoner would be beneficial. She would make an excellent leader, and in time he was sure they could grow to love each other.

Then he'd had to reveal his identity when they crash landed in the Ravkan first army, and she'd punched him in the face.

Dominik came over, laughing at his friend who was now clutching his nose, but bringing him into a tight hug all the same.

"Long time no see, how have you been?" he asked.

"Oh, same old, same old. Sailing around, destroying enemy ships, tracking mythical sea monsters, the usual. How's your sister?"

Dominik rolled his eyes, a smile forming on his face. Nikolai had told him that Y/n had kissed his cheek when they were in the army, gushing about it and how hopeless he was, and Dominik had agreed. It wasn't long after that his friend, albeit reluctantly, decided he wouldn't mind having Nikolai as a brother, and had warmed up to the idea of his best friend and sister being together.

"She's alright. You could always ask her yourself, though." Nikolai frowned, not understanding his meaning.

"Why do you want to know about his sister?" Alina cut in, still mad about the betrayal but curiosity outweighing it.

Dominik laughed. "Because he's hopelessly in love with her. Seriously, I can't get him to shut up about how she's 'the most beautiful girl I've ever seen', or how 'she's the-'" Nikolai shoved him, and Dominik stopped talking to prevent himself from falling over, breaking off into more loud laughter.

"Shut up," he muttered, face going red. Alina was smirking, and had apparently (for now) gotten over her earlier fury. "What did you mean, ask her myself? She's off in some country house with her rich husband, isn't she?"

"Nope. Never actually got married. Not when he found out I didn't like riding a horse sidesaddle."

Nikolai whipped round at the new voice, then stared in shock at the woman in front of him, looking somehow even more beautiful than the day he'd left her.

"Y/n," he said, the word spoken almost like a prayer. "You're... you're here. Wait, why are you here?" She laughed lightly, and Saints he'd missed that sound.

"Joined the army. As a medik, don't worry. I'm not actually on the front lines or anything, I just stay back here, tending to the wounded. Speaking of wounded people, who punched you? Because your nose is bleeding a little bit."

"I did, sorry," Alina spoke up, and Y/n just smiled, shaking her head.

"He probably deserved it, to be honest. I don't know what he did, but I'm sure I would have done the same."

Great, now they were bonding over the desire to punch him in the face. Y/n walked over, using a scrap of cloth to wipe the blood off his face, then throwing her arms around him in a hug.

"I've missed you, Kolya."

"I missed you too."

She pulled back, inspecting his face for a few moments. He was nervous, butterflies fluttering in his stomach as he realised that the last time they'd been this close, she'd kissed him on the cheek. He didn't have to worry about that this time, though, since she pulled even further away, and before he could miss her warmth, she slapped him.

"What was that for?!" He held his face for the second time in the last ten minutes, looking at her incredulously as she stood with her hands on her hips.

Pointing a finger at him, she said "For getting shot, you dipshit! And for leaving without telling me, and for never writing!" Before he could apologise, however, she brought her hands up to his face and kissed him on the lips. He froze, arms hanging in the air awkwardly and eyes open wide, then relaxed, bringing his arms around her waist and closing his eyes as he kissed her back. He was just about to slip his tongue in when a very obvious cough sounded from his left, and he reluctantly pulled away to see Dominik watching with a disgusted look.

"If you're going to suck face, please do it where I can't see you. I do not need to ever see my best friend and my sister making out ever again, thanks." He shuddered, then pretended to gag.

"Okay," Y/n replied, and before Nikolai could do anything, she'd grabbed his arm and was dragging him off to a tent. When they were inside, he realised it was her tent, seeing the little decorations that were so completely her. She stopped abruptly, causing him to crash into her back. "Shit, sorry, I didn't think I was gonna have anyone in here, to be honest, so it's a mess. Let me just-"

"Darling, you know I've seen Dominik's tent, right? This is perfection compared to the mess he creates," Nikolai cut her off, stopping her from tidying the space. "What was the kiss for?"

"You- what?! Saints, Nikolai, I thought you were meant to be smart?" She pinched the bridge of her nose. "Because I love you, idiot. I always have." He gaped at her, before remembering himself and closing his mouth.

"You have?"

"Yeah. Dom was pissed when he found out I liked you, though. Not sure why, given how close you two are. Thought he would have been glad to have you as an official member of the family, as an actual brother. But yes, I have loved you since that night we talked about what we would do if we were free, and you spoke about it as if we were both going. I knew I was a goner then, because of how easily you talked about your future as though I would always be a part of it. So yeah, I love you, Nikolai Lantsov. That's what the kiss was for."

"I love you too. I would have taken you with me, on the True Sea, like we'd planned, but I thought... well I thought you were married, so I didn't ask. Also it wasn't really planned, I just had an opportunity so I took it and-" he was cut off by her mouth on his, and she was smiling into the kiss.

"I get it, Kolya, you don't need to explain, alright? But next time I'm expecting an invite, no excuses."

"Of course. I love you," he said again, smiling broadly. He would quite happily spend the rest of his life telling her those three words over and over again, doing nothing else, and having no regrets. The next two words that came out of his mouth he hadn't planned to say, but they happened anyway.

"Marry me."

She froze in place, and Nikolai worried that he'd gone too far, opening his mouth to take back the words.

"Yes."

Now it was his turn to freeze, seconds later breaking into a grin as he picked her up and spun her around, kissing her when he set her down.

"Wait," she said, brow furrowed, and his heart skipped a beat in fear. "What about the court? They'll never accept me."

"I don't care. I love you, and I'm not wasting another minute of my life being without you. Besides, it'll be good for them. It's not like you're uneducated, you went to a fancy boarding school. And if that's not enough we can come up with some bullshit story about how we're marrying to 'unite the different classes of Ravka' and it'll be beneficial for keeping the 'commoners' on side," he used the same fake posh voice she had all those years ago at the dinner table, and she giggled, nodding as he made his argument. "We'll know that we're marrying for love, and so will the people that most matter, like your family. They're the only opinions I care about, alright?"

"Alright." She was smiling widely, joy written all over her face as she took in his words. Seconds later, fear crossed her features. "Oh fuck."

"What? What is it?" He panicked, thinking she was already having second thoughts.

"Dominik. He's going to freak out when we tell him. Poor boy can only just handle us kissing, what's he going to do when we're married?" Nikolai laughed, loud and booming, hands coming to hold her waist.

"He'll just have to deal with it. He dealt with all the pining for years, I'm sure he'll be fine."

"Pining? You were pining for me? Aw, Kolya, that's adorable!"

"Yeah yeah," he grumbled. "Like you weren't also pining for me, darling."

~~~

When they emerged from the tent a while later, holding hands and blushing, speaking to each other in soft whispers, Dominik could only smile affectionately, having overheard the whole conversation.

"Idiots. I've been planning this wedding since they met."

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