#white people cant cook

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[skitskatdacat63]

People need to stop making Rhaenicent if they were canon edits, it's killing me 😭😭😭😭😭

[daffodi1]

Genuine question, not meant as rhetorical or anything. Ik dismantling the gender binary is important and all, and I'm all for it as well as getting rid of gender roles. And I know that like, even if the gender binary isn't a thing, medical transition will exist regardless (or at least I hope so, bc I would not have survived this long without it even if my gender identity wasn't a problem). But like... if my identity as a man is important to me, how am I supposed to reconcile that? I know I shouldn't be fixated on any identity period and that I should probably just accept that regardless of gender, I am Me, but being a man has kinda been my shield against people just deciding I'm a woman and being done with it. Like, despite all of my feminine traits and interests, if I'm a man then I'm a man and they can't argue with that. And I guess I'm worried that if I don't have that anymore, I'll have nothing preventing people from just deciding I'm a woman. And maybe that is my problem-- maybe I should not be so opposed to the idea of being a woman but I can't help that I hate it when that's what every transphobic person has tried to shove down my throat all my life. So if anyone knows how to like... stop worrying about it, I would appreciate it bc I genuinely don't know how I'd be able to survive in the society we're supposed to want.

[storm-of-feathers]

one of these days i am going to truly and really have a bitch explosion ab how the conversation around cultural appropriation has been basically fucking stolen from black and indigenous communities.

[b0njourbeachsvoid]

Everyone: "Oh no, Jiaqius food is too spicy boohoo"

Me, born into the whitest family I know: "BRING IT ON!"

Even if it burns my internal organs, I will eat his spicy hot pot.

I once ate noodles that were so spicy that I didn't feel my lips anymore and the tip of my nose tickled weirdly but I refused to just admit defeat although being told to.

[genderqueerdykes]

i just think it's bullshit that alternative meats, milks, eggs, breads, and other foods are prohibitively expensive. like i don't know how to tell people that not everyone who eats vegan or vegetarian is choosing to eat that way because of their moral beliefs- a lot of people are eating these foods because they have food allergies or intolerances, or have other gastrointestinal issues

i don't have a choice. it's downright cruel to make these different options more expensive. there is no one size fits all diet- every single person needs a unique diet and some folks literally have no choice but to utilize these substitutes. some vegetarians cant digest soy. some vegetarians can't eat beans. i also don't know how to tell you that not every vegetarian or vegan can ingest raw vegetables and fruits, or even cooked ones, for that matter

there are a LOT of health conditions like irritable bowel syndrome, gastroparesis, crohns disease, and other gastrointestinal issues that can cause a person to become very sick or even die if they ingest too much raw plant matter, especially vegetables high in fiber. when these fibers cannot be broken down by a person's digestive system, they can form blockages in the intestines and kill people. not every person on this planet benefits from eating a lot of leafy greans. some people are allergic to chlorophyll. some people are allergic to citric acid. diabetic people have to be careful with certain vegetables and fruits causing spikes or dips in blood sugar, and many people with diabetes end up with gastroparesis, or similar gut issues. there are a lot of reasons why people can't just switch to a diet of salads and fruit smoothies every day.

alternative foods need to be available to everyone, regardless of how much income they make. having safer alternative foods should not be relegated to the rich. these are not just being consumed by spiritual white moms on instagram. these foods need to be accessed by disabled people all over the world.

[crwatters]

.

[pascalions]

SUGAR SWEET

DBF! JOEL MILLER x F!READER

SUMMARY : going over to Joel’s ahead of time was supposed to be simple, make the pie and have it ready before everyone else got there. But Joel decided he wanted something…sweeter.

WARNINGS : age gap (readers mid twenties, Joel late 40’s) , established slight relationship, oral (f receiving), forced orgasm, overstimulation Joel’s dirty mouth, boob play, no outbreak, almost getting caught, pretty basic but I meant to post it on thanksgiving yalll.

YOUR HAND CLAWED AT THE CRISP white counter, legs trembling as your nipples were exposed to the harsh cooling of the counter. You were supposed to be waiting for the pie to finish, after all everyone was coming over in less than an hour. But Joel found something so damn sexy about watching you be all domestic and cook in his kitchen.

You barley had time to blink before he was latched on to your nipple slipping your underwear down and turning you over on the counter. He was on his knees behind you, not bothering to even breathe as you devoured you like a full course meal. His hands spread the soft plump flesh of your ass and you could hear nothing but his groans and lewd wet noises of your sopping cunt.

“J-Joel.” You moaned as he dipped his tongue in and out of your tightness, it had your mind in a fog as you clawed for anything that could ground you back to earth. But it seemed impossible with the way his mouth worked you.

He grinned as he felt your hole desperately try to clench around something, practically crying for him. “W- mghh people are comi-ing over soo-oh.” Your words were struggling to even pass the barrier of your throat without morphing into a scream. Joel’s tongue teased your undoubtedly throbbing clit making your legs buckle but his grip didn’t fall, it tightened. Your simple dress hitched over your ass and the top pulled below your breast as your hardened nipples grazed the counter as you attempted to hold yourself up.

“Mm, I don’t care. They can wait until ya’ give me at least two baby.” His voice was muffled and through the clogging in your ears you could hear him vaguely. Suddenly his lips latched around you and you whimpered holding onto the counter as your legs shook. “That’s it, c’mon just let go.”

Your mind fogged for a moment, pussy clenching around nothing in such a way that you felt it all over your body. The feeling having you dizzy and your hand loosing grip on the counter, Joel didn’t stop though, and the pain and pleasure consumed you so harshly you felt your head fall forward onto your arm words not coherent as he worked you through your orgasm.

The overstimulation had you crying out, hand wrapping behind you to pull his head away. Your fingers tugging his hand only seemed to make him go faster and the noises that left your mouth were loud enough to override the oven alarm that told you whatever pie you had made was ready. That wasn’t on your mind though, your mind was still hazy.

“Cant- fuck- Joel I- can’t do another.” You stuttered over your words and Joel massaged the flesh of your ass, his tongue much lighter for a moment as his hips jutted against the rough material of his jeans at the way your hands pulled and tugged at his curls. “Yeah ya can m’sweet girl, your doin’ so good already.”

Standing up he wrapped an arm around you, your back against his clothes chest as his fingers tweaked and pulled at your sore nipples. Turning you around he wrapped his large callous hands around your thighs hauling you up onto the counter, ass barley on it. You had lock your legs around his waist as you peered up at him through glazed eyes, his lips attacking yours immediately.

Your hands latched back into his hair as he kissed you, hard. The taste of you flowing into your mouth leaving you to moan before he pulled away from you with a tiny smile. He slid down still between your legs forcing them tighter around his head one they were resting on his shoulders.

His lips returned to your aching clit and your eyes pinched shut as you tried to form anything that would come out, but your mouth was open and nothing stepped out of it. One of your hand was in Joel’s hair as his other one slid up your bunched up dress and grabbed a handful of your breast, squeezing it and pinching the hardened nipple.

Your hips subconsciously grinned against his face, the feeling just way too good to even think about it. Your cunt was still weeping from the last orgasm and his tongue only seemed to push it closer to the finish line. His name was falling from your lips in incoherent babbling as he gripped your thighs, focused on one thing only.

Suddenly someone knocked on the door and you felt your blood run cold for a moment, but the pleasure was so blinding you quickly forgot about the fact that your family was outside. Joel didn’t seem to care either as he sucked harshly on your bundle of nerves before his tongue scribbled.

You covered your mouth with your hand as you felt your body float, the second orgasm hitting you like a truck. It made your eyes heavy and your heart race, the relief just felt way too good. The feeling so good nothing was in your mind but Joel, he slowed his movements helping you ride out the orgasm that had your eyes leaking before he stood up and kissed you. “Taste that baby, s’sweet.” He muttered before cleaning you and himself up.

He helped you slide your underwear on and helped fix your dress as he got you down on shaken legs and you made your way to the oven. Joel stood behind you hands running up your sides as you attempted to catch your breathe before pulling the pie out. “I ain’t finished with ya’ sweetheart.” He placed a kiss on the nape of your neck before making his way to the front door.

You pulled the pie out and set it on the counter just as your family came in.

“Hey honey, hope Joel didn’t give ya a hard time.”

no not at all.

So this was short but it’s a draft from thanksgiving and a it completely blanked my mind until I was checking my drafts and saw it

Love ya

[wosohermoso]

Lucy Bronze

Jealousy - 18+

Warnings: smut (fingering), fluff, angst

Reader gets jealous when a waitress tries to hit on Lucy. (Do i make a pt.2 where Lucy gets jealous?)

Myself and Lucy hadn’t been dating long, our relationship still a secret from most people besides our close friends and family. We hadn’t actually planned on telling anyone so soon considering it had only been a few months, but with being around Lucy’s friendship circle and teammates, word of us being together kind of just - spread - although we were in no means trying to hide it.

We had been on holiday in Spain with a few of Lucy’s teammates for just over a few days now, all just enjoying the few days we had together after the World Cup, but me and her had decided to go for dinner away from the others just to spend some quality time together.

As we sit at the table waiting to be served, Lucy reaches over from opposite me, intertwining our fingers in a subtle but romantic way.

“You look gorgeous” She smiles, her thumb delicately brushing over my fingers.

“You don’t look too bad yourself” I giggle, her eyes burning into mine as she lets out a small chuckle.

“Y’know y-” Lucy begins to speak before she’s cut off by the waitress.

“Are you ready to order?” She smiles at me, and i peer down at the menu. My Spanish isn’t the best, so I order in English, letting her know what food I wanted. The waitress jots down my order with a small smile before turning to Lucy.

“-and for the pretty lady?” She says, watching Lucy carefully as her hand subconsciously leaves mine to pick up the menu. I giggle, Lucy is a pretty lady, there is no denying that. I don’t mind when others compliment her, especially knowing that shes mine. She deserves to know that she’s beautiful.

“What would you recommend?” Lucy asks as she looks back up at the waitress.

The waitress grins, placing her hand on the table besides my girlfriend as she leans over at the menu. She tucks a stray hair behind her ear before speaking.

“For you? I mean you cant go wrong with pasta. We have this-” she points “this tastes amazing, and its cooked specially by the head chef”

Lucy nods, “I’ll take your word for it”

The waitress takes note of our order before leaving and Lucy’s attention falls back on me.

“We’ve only got a few days left here and I want to make the most out of it, I was thinking tomorrow we could go to the beach- without the others obviously, I wanna spend as much time with y-”

“Wine- for you, hermosa” Lucy is cut off abruptly by the waitress placing one glass of white wine down on the table in front of Lucy. “Did you want a drink?” She then asks me.

My eyes narrow slightly, but still I keep my composure. Neither of us had ordered our drinks yet but she had come over with a glass for only my girlfriend. “Uh- yeah could I get a wine too please?” I ask with a small smile.

“One wine, is that all?” She asks and I nod.

After a short while our food arrives, “Pasta, for you-” she says, placing Lucys dish in front of her, “alllmost as beautiful as you” She says, earning a slightly awkward chuckle from Lucy. “And a pepperoni pizza for you” She states, placing my naff pizza in front of me. “Enjoy” She says, her hand resting briefly on Lucys shoulder before she leaves.

“What is her issue?” I blurt out earning a small look from Lucy.

“The waitress?” She asks, raising her brow slightly.

“Yeah. I don’t know. She’s acting strange.” I say as a shake my head a little.

Lucy shrugs, “no idea but this pasta looks incredible”

I roll my eyes. I was hardly ever the jealous type, but when tall, pretty, blonde waitress with a figure to die for very obviously has a thing for my girlfriend, its hard to not feel slightly annoyed. And when I look up to see her sat by the kitchen blatantly trying to catch Lucys eye, it only angers me even more.

“Shes staring at you” I state.

“Who?” Lucy frowns a little glancing round at the waitress.

“Don’t turn around, what the fuck?” I grab her hand, diverting her attention back to me.

Lucy looks at me with a small smirk.

“She probably just knows who I am” She chuckles. God her ego is so high, but i love it.

We finish our food in a comfortable silence, a few conversations about life together springing up between mouthfuls. Once we’re done, Lucy places my empty plate on top of hers and scoots them to the edge of the table and after a short while, the waitress returns.

“I see you’re helping me out” She grins at Lucy, motioning towards the plates that she had neatly stacked up to be taken. Lucy smiles at her “I try” she shrugs.

“Would you help me out in finding your instagram?” The waitress very confidently asks. Lucy looks up at her, her mouth open ever so slightly.

“Mine?” She asks in disbelief. The waitress nods.

“I- I mean yeah? Lucy replies, taking the waitresses phone. I watch her search for her own instagram before handing it back. I don’t think it meant anything, Lucy was just a people pleaser, but there’s a time and a place and that most definitely was not the right place - or time.

I sit back in my chair, my arms crossed as the waitress thanks Lucy. I had never been one to not stand my ground and so fighting the urge to say something was a fight I most definitely had lost.

“Do you wanna ask her to shag while you’re at it too?” I say under my breath, my eyes burning into the Blonde.

“Y/n?!” Lucy frowns at me in confusion. The waitress hadn’t heard it but Lucy definitely did. My eyes avert to Lucy with a cold glare, why on earth had she just given her her instagram right in front of my face. The waitress then thanks Lucy, giving her another small rub on the shoulder before leaving.

_

We were in the car in a not so comfortable silence. I must admit we were only in silence because I was in the worst mood known to man.

“You gonna speak or…?” Lucy strains out, her right hand rested on the steering wheel while her left placed comfortably on her thigh.

I stay silent.

“Y’know, jealousy looks quite nice on you” She states, earning a cold glare.

“What do you mean?” I frown, looking at her in complete disbelief.

“Jealousy. It looks good on you.” She states again before giving me a quick glance.

“If you think im jealous you can think again Lucy” I roll my eyes, shuffling slightly in my seat.

“Mkay” Lucy simply replies.

-

Once we arrive back at the villa we were renting, I take my shoes off, heading straight to the kitchen to grab a glass of water, Lucy following shortly behind. I feel her presence behind me as I lean over the sink.

“Whats wrong?” She asks softly, placing a small peck on my shoulder. I say nothing.

“Are you still jealous about that gir-”

“Lucy I told you, I’m not jealous.” I state before turning around. Lucy places her hands either side of me, resting comfortably on the counter behind me. She scans my face with a small smirk.

“I’ll take your word for it” She shrugs.

“Like you took her insta” I roll my eyes, earning a small chuckle.

“No. She took mine..”

“Luce?! You need to stop being so cocky about it because honestly it’s not a good look. We were on a date.. and she was all over you like a weeping back boil” I frown, attempting to cross my arm with my water still in my hand.

“So you are jealous” She grins at me, delicately taking my water from my hands and placing it behind me. “Why are you jealous?” She says lowly, her lips feathering against my neck. She cannot serious right now. The stubbornness in me heightened.

“Im not.” I state. Before giving her shoulders a small pat and worming out of the embrace she had me in.

I make my way to our bedroom and sit in defeat on the bed. I was kinda hoping she’d follow and maybe give me a cuddle, make me aware that there was absolutely nothing to worry about, but Lucy was so carefree. She probably didn’t mean anything by the whole interaction with the waitress, I just found it slightly disrespectful, but I knew I was being silly.

It takes Lucy a good half hour before she joins me, giving me a small light tipped smile as she slouches onto the bed besides me above the covers, before leaning over and giving me a quick peck on the lips. She could tell I still wasn’t in the best of moods, but I was slowly starting to get over the uncomfortable date we had had. That was until I saw her scroll through her insta notifications and hover over the new follow she had gotten. It was the waitress. Dont click on it. She clicked on it. She gave the waitresses insta a small skim over before swiping off. I was glad she didn’t follow back, but still I was annoyed. Not at Lucy, just the blonde.

I reach over, taking Lucys phone and locking it before placing it on the bedside table and very abruptly repositioning myself so that I was straddling my girlfriend. Lucy looks up at me in disbelief before opening her mouth to speak, “What are you doi-”

“Shut up.” I cut her off before smashing my lips onto hers.

It doesn’t take her long to widen her mouth, letting my tongue brush against hers, her hands instantly trailing along my thighs before resting on my ass. My tongue roamed her mouth as I took out almost all of my frustration out on her lips while the frustration in other places only grows. Lucy’s breath hitches as my lips trail down her neck, sucking harshly at the sensitive spot just below her ear as my hand creeps up under her shirt to squeeze at her breast. “Jesus christ, y/n” She groans out, her fingertips roaming my thighs and ass as I continue to make out with her neck, sucking and licking every one of her sweet spots. Her hands graze up my back, creeping their way under my shirt where her nails dig into my skin ever so seductively before coming back down to rest on my waist. Our lips meet again, more passionately than before, earning another small groan.

I felt her shuffle underneath me, her knees bending as she raises her hips slightly to try and get just a little bit of friction where she needed it most.

I reposition my legs so that I’m in between hers, before training my kisses down once more. Placing seductive but soft kisses back down her neck to her collarbone as I pull up her top, revealing her braless breasts. I try my hardest not to moan out at the sight of her as I dip my head down to suck delicately on her right nipple, my left hand working its magic on the other. Lucy’s nipples were always sensitive, and I knew that with just a small touch she’d be a complete and utter moaning mess. Her breath begins to shake as I caress her breasts, my tongue flicking against her nipple before my mouth moves on to the other. I feel her hand leave my hip and drag up my back before her fingers tangle in my hair, pulling at the roots sensually. Her hips buck slightly and I knew exactly where she needed me most.

My hands glide down her body as my lips find their way back to hers, my hand very swiftly slipping into her panties. She was wet. So wet. Just how I liked her.

I start to rub slow circles against her clit as her breath shakes and her eyes tighten shut. Her hands finding her way under the waistband of my shorts where they grip onto my ass tightly.

“Get your hands off me” I say, Lucy’s eyes widening in confusion. I smirk down at her. “Hands. Off”

She removes her hands from my shorts, holding them up by her head in defeat as my fingers pick up pace, earning the most leg clenching moan from my girlfriend. “What has gotten into you?!” She breathes out, before moaning against my lips. I pull my head away slightly.

“Jealousy.” I state, before my fingers plunge inside her.

Her back arches in pleasure, and at that moment she had no care for what I had to say, and to be honest, neither did I. I watch her squirm underneath me as my fingers curl inside her, hitting the spot she needed it most. “God, y/n” she moans out.

My fingers leave her as I kneel between her legs, pulling her shorts down her thighs and off her legs in a quick and swift motion. I gaze down at her slightly swollen clit, and oh how I wished my tongue against it right now.

She watches me in frustration as I tease her pussy. My fingers delicately grazing over her hole. “Y/n please..” She groans out as I stare at her.

I was hardly ever dominant with Lucy. But today was different. Today all I wanted to do was claim her as my own, make her know that shes mine and only mine.

My fingers slowly slip back inside her, moving slowly but harshly against her gspot. Soft moans escape her lips as I work my magic.

My other hand caressing her nipples, pinching, squeezing and rolling them in all the right ways as she squirms underneath me before it trails down between the valley of her breasts, down her stomach, and find their way to her clit. And with that I do everything I can to send her completely over the edge. “Y/n” She moans out, louder than before, the tension between my own legs only growing. “Let me touch you” She whimpers, her hands entering my shorts yet again.

“No” I say, as I slow down the pace of my fingers, briefly taking my fingers out of her to remove her hands from me. Lucy lets a small huff of defeat out as my fingers re enter her.

I curl my fingers inside her feeling her tighten around me, her back arching in pleasure. She was close, so close, but I could tell she was holding back. She wanted to touch me so bad, she’s a people pleaser - like I said. But she should have thought about that when she gave the flirty waitress her instagram earlier.

Her eyes tighten as I feel her clench around me and I quicken the pase of my fingers against her clit. Her body almost rolls over as she comes undone, moaning out my name in pleasure as she cums around my fingers, dripping down a little to my knuckles. She pants aggressively, small moans still escaping her lips as she comes down from her high and my fingers leave her body.

“Y/n, let me-” She quivers as her hands try to roam my body yet again.

“No, you’re not done yet” I cut her off, grabbing her wrists to lift her up, “get in the shower” I state, getting up off of the bed and dragging her with me.

I hear her let out a short giggle as she holds on to my hand and follows me into the bathroom, before spinning me round and pushing me up against the sink.

“Told you jealousy looks good on you” She grins down at me. I frown slightly.

“Knees. Now” I state, guiding her down by her shoulders.

She was in for it tonight.

[yuri-is-online]

Fyuuture Kid AU is actually my favorite au of yours; I just think it's cute! How's floyd Yutu? I feel like there would be a thin line between "You're cool ig" and "You and shrimp are a little... close. Stop it." But once he knows that's his kid? Yeah all bets are of. Sorry Azul; he actually CANT go to work today he's too busy being a FATHER and a HUSBAND (these single fucks can cry about it)

No because this is exactly what I see happening and just the image of Floyd being like "nah I can't hang out spouse needs my help with the kid. Oh you wouldn't get it because YOU GOT NO BITCHES" he's just so silly I love him so much (つ╥﹏╥)つ

notes: they/them used for Yuu, this is part of the fyuuture kid au, Floyd's part can be found here, and the explanation for the au can be found here. You can find even more stuff for it on my masterlist under the series section.

Yutu wasn't really prepared for the first people he saw to be his parents. He knew he was going to have to see them eventually, and he did a lot of preparing mentally for seeing Yuu again but his dad? His father who he has heard so many stories about, the person he admires second only to you?

"And who's this little guppy?" The whites of Floyd's eyes widen as he zeros in on him, Yutu's senses force him to drop into a defensive stance and get in between the danger and Yuu. He's being circled by a larger, more dangerous predator. Every nerve ending in his body is screaming he is in danger, that Yuu's in danger, but he feels happy. He knows what his father's voice sounds like now.

"I ain't a guppy." The points of his teeth flash, but Floyd isn't amused by Yutu's claim.

"You are what I say you are, small fry."

Floyd! Yutu is very extroverted. He enjoys talking to people and had a lot of friends before and after being isekaid. If Yuu or one of his friends was more introverted he took a great deal of pride in doing most of the talking for them. He likes being helpful, or at least he says he does. If you've seen those videos of morays who act like puppies around divers they've known for years, that's sort of how Yutu acts. He's a big puppy who pretends not to know his own strength. Unless your his parent, he fears no man, but Yuu's wrath? That scares him.

He's similar to Floyd in school performance, he doesn't like to pay attention so he doesn't always do well. He didn't have a choice about paying attention to magic classes though, among all the different versions of Yutu, Floyd! Yutu might be one of the most cracked when it comes to combat magic. If you were to ask him about it, he'd say he sees his skill as another way of being helpful, but that prey drive is no joke he does like a good fight. Just not when that fight is against his dad...

He has always loved the water, whether he was swimming or out playing in the rain he always felt most at home in the water. In your world he was on his school's swim team, and while Yutu gets why he isn't allowed to be on NRC's he is still a bit salty about it. On the one hand he gets to actually live in the water now. On the other he sort of needs to find a hobby.

Maybe he could focus more on cooking? Or fishing? Or would that just be hunting under the sea...

The oceans of Twisted Wonderland were never safe, but in the time that Yutu arrived in they had become borderline unlivable due to blot pollution. Yutu really loved being in Octavinelle for allowing him to experience a little slice of what the Coral Sea was supposed to have been like. The version of the dorm he was placed in didn't have the lounge anymore, so he is very curious about Azul's business.

Papa (Floyd) Leech isn't very impressed. On the one hand he thinks it is kind of funny watching the shrimplet run around campus following Yuu like he's convinced they're going to disappear. Floyd feels like that sometimes too, it makes him want to drown you in his embrace and keep you here forever but he tries to ignore those feelings most of the time.

On the other hand knowing he can't just drop by Ramshackle and have you all to himself anymore makes it really hard to ignore them. Shrimplet doesn't even have the sense to be afraid of him, Floyd swears he gets excited when he threatens to give him a squeeze. And what's worse is you are really protective of him! Sure you're protective of Baby Seal too, but he's got enough sense to piss off when Floyd glares at him. He does leave when Floyd threatens to fight him, but not because he's scared. He looked sad actually, which Floyd clocks and brings back to Jade and Azul.

You asked another question about what happened to the boys in the bad future, and I want to save most of my thoughts related to what happened to Floyd for that answer, but Jade was still alive when Yutu got isekaid and he was able to meet him. They had a really good relationship, so when Jade comes sniffing around for information, Yutu is able to dodge his questions pretty easily. Future! Jade actually used his signature spell on him before he traveled back in time just to fuck with his past self. He did make his nephew promise to tell him if the one use rule applied to this case. Partially for science, partially because he knew that it would give his younger self the chance to keep the information to himself.

And keep it to himself he does- sort of. He makes sure Yutu knows he knows, but he never explicitly says anything to him. No what he wants to do is distract Yutu so Floyd can be a sulky coward in peace. That he does make clear to Yutu, he would like his brother to have more than one kid for him to be a bad influence on and he needs him to actually make a move on Yuu for that to happen.

I am not 100% on how the reveal on how Floyd learns about what's happening and who Yutu is, but once he does he is very serious about it. He wants to know what Yutu thought about him, why he knows more about Jade then his dear old dad, and what happened to Yuu to make him so protective. Wasn't he there at all? He'd never abandon his mate or his son... little shrimplet knows that, right?

Well he's just going to have to make sure he does know that. And everyone else too, "these single fucks can cry about it" indeed. Yutu is getting dragged to the Atlantica Memorial Museum so they can swim and talk about Azul's overblot, and how cute his parent was for standing up to him. He still wants to spend time alone with Yuu sometimes, but he gets why Yutu is afraid of letting them out of his sight now. He would feel the same way. If Floyd can manage it he wants to take him back home too (not to introduce him to the grandparents since that would just raise questions), since Yutu never got to go there.

Floyd would be such a good dad. An embarrassing one too, you know he teases Yutu, roughhouses with him, and openly flirts with Yuu in front of him. He's really looking forward to getting to be embarrassingly in love with Yuu in the future, and no silly "end of the world" thing is going to stop him.

[the-s1lly-corner]

How they react to you telling them you're pregnant

Obligatory reader is afab but like most of my posts they're gn/gendered pronouns aren't used

Slenderman;

Cue the confusion

Pregnant?

Surprised more than anything, he didnt think that he could get you pregnant considering you're both different species

And also he didnt think he was fertile; at least not in the normal sexual reproduction way

Kinda just

Accepts it

Now do I think he would be a good dad?

Maybe? He wouldn't be horrible or absent, but some human things are still foreign to him, including raising a child.. so hes probably going to need a decent amount of guidance

I feel like he'd also be a helicopter parent? He already watches you like a hawk, he'd probably start doing the same with his kid as they get older

"Hey (kid name) who's that tall white boy following you??" "Oh that's my dad"/j

Becomes more protective of you during the pregnancy and the weeks after

Takes it in stride tbh

Splendorman;

Pause

Before you start to worry he scoops you up

Also thought it wasnt possible, but is hyped when he finds out the news

He WILL pamper you... may also dip into overbearing territory, though

He just doesnt want you or the baby to get hurt

He says goodnight to the bump later on in the pregnancy tbh

Oh you know hes gonna be decorating their room and giving them loads of toys

Would be a good father but may dip into unhealthy habits

This dude struggles with toxic positivity imo, so that's definitely something that's gonna need to be addressed

Laughing Jack;

Okay obviously ALL of them are probably going to be sat down and told the news, but Jack is gonna need the most talking to given that he probably doesn't grasp the gravity of it

He KNOWS what pregnancy is, he KNOWS what a baby is; but he doesn't know the intricacies of pregnancy if that makes sense

Like he doesnt know about the soreness, or cravings, or how fragile those tiny human beings actually are. Dude already struggles with being gentle with adults

So it's going to require a long and in depth talk about everything that's going to happen if you guys decide to keep the kid

Reaction wise, he takes it seriously. Kind of uncanny compared to his usual silly demeanor

Again, due to him being a lil dumb hes almost under reacting

As a parent I think...

Okay he'd probably kinda suck

He would love the kid but he would be so so so irresponsible I'm so sorry

Gives the kid candy for meals (bro cant cook)

Get that man into some parenting classes PLEASE

Eyeless Jack;

Another "I'm surprised because I deadass thought I was infertile" one, given my whole lore/Hc for EJ

The most worried out of them all

"What if they're like me and are cursed? What if they hate me? What if they grow to hate me? What if-"

He baby proofs his cabin... before insisting that the baby stays at your place primarily (if you haven't moved in with him) because he's scared of his whole... eating people thing

Please give him loads and loads of reassurance, hes gonna need it

He'll work hard to be the best father he can be, though!

He takes the kid out for walks in the woods, teaches them different plants and bugs and tells them which are dangerous

"Oh I don't want to hold them, what if I hurt em?" *falls asleep while holding his baby after reading them a story*

Masky;

You gotta baby proof him and the house im sorry, hes feral

Another "you're gonna have to sit him down and lay down the rules" type deal

Hes already mellowed out around you but he needs to mellow out a touch more for an infant

Hard to gauge his reaction but he seems.... excited? Hard to tell when hes sitting still and wearing a mask

When the baby comes he, like slenderman, also watches them like a hawk

You will walk in on him sitting over their crib at 3am/hj

Surprisingly gentle when it comes to handling the kid, just casually walks around with them and shit

Great for looking after the kid during the night while you rest

Hoodie;

V similar to Masky but he's already naturally calm

Putting this here now before I forget but he would take his mask off to make faces at the baby to try to make them laugh

Mf doesn't take his mask off for you though ☝️🙄/hj

Surprisingly good at calming down screaming infants for some reason

Similar reaction as Masky; hard to read but way easy to guess its positive since he lightly boinks where his mouth would be under his mask to your cheek while papping your stomach

Hes a lil silly

But hes got the spirit

Good dad, me thinks

[kcrossvine-art]

hi birds of paradise and of prey! I sincerely hope your 2024 has been kind to you so far, and if it hasn't, I hope it starts being fucking nicer soon. We got eyes on it and are ready to take it out should it fail.

I'm coming to the end of my list here soon, so if anyone has ideas on what they'd like to see next, please do hit me up! Even if its just a piece of media with interesting food in it and not a specific dish you wanna see. My roommate got me a recipe book from that TikTok fantasy tavern guy, "recipes from the lucky gryphon"? So we could also take a shot at a few of those, although im not really familiar with his work. Regardless-

We will be making Stuffed Cabbage from Lord of the Rings Online today!

(As always you can find the cooking instructions and full ingredient list under the break-)

MY NAMES CROSS NOW LETS COOK LIKE ANIMALS

SO, “what goes in to this Stuffed Cabbage?” YOU MIGHT ASKYou cant kinda put whatever you want for seasonings and even the meat filling. I used ground beef but pork and lamb are also stellar candidates.

Yellow onion

Garlic

2 eggs

Ground beef

Rice

A head of cabbage

Oregano

Thyme

Red pepper flakes

Cumin

Crushed tomato

Tomato sauce

AND, “what does this Stuffed Cabbage taste like?” YOU MIGHT ASKBa bawsa

Very, very filling wow

2 rolls filled me up for a meal and i made about 20-ish from one head of cabage

A bit plain tbh, the texture is great but I'd really double up on the seasonings

A blank canvas for you to impart your spice preferences onto

Reheating makes it taste almost identical to fresh

Would pair well with a hot sauce dip

could also go well with an artichoke dip

If you run out of room and need to layer the rolls, I'd try experimenting with pouring some of the crushed tomato and sauce inbetween the stacked rolls. Otherwise the ones at the bottom lack a lot of the tomato flavor. However it might make the bottoms on the rolls laying ontop soggy?

. Where rice called for, used long grain white rice

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I've never blanched anything before. Theres not much western food that calls for it, meanwhile whenever my friend from malaysia shows a dish they ate, 9 times out of 10 the vegetables are blanched. Much easier process than the fancy name might suggest- boil water and dunk the thing in until its done. Whatever 'done' may be for the thing you are cooking.

Also for the ground beef (or whichever meat you use) you don't have to cook it beforehand, but in doing two tries at making these cabbage rolls i would recommend you at least season your meat before mixing it with everything else. The meat will cook to a safe temperature inside the cabbage rolls, i just prefer the taste and texture of it when cooked twice.

I give this recipe a meandering 7/10 (with 1 being food that makes one physically sick and 10 being food that gives one a lust for life again.) I want to review more horrible recipes, truly i do, so that the rating scale isnt always a 6 and above, but whenever i try something horrible its like "why the fuck would i put all the effort into making and sharing a review of this thing i Do Not Want others to eat????" yknow?? Would people be interested in roasting horrible recipes? 

🐁 ORIGINAL RESIPPY TEXT BELOW 🐁

Ingredients:

1 yellow onion

6 cloves of garlic

2 eggs

2 lbs ground beef

1 1/2 cup cooked rice

1 large head of cabbage

28oz crushed tomato

14oz tomato sauce

Oregano

Thyme

Red pepper flakes

Cumin

Salt/pepper

Method:

Saute garlic and onion in butter over medium heat until onions are caramelized. When done, remove from heat and let cool.

Season the beef to your liking with cumin, red pepper, and salt. Very, very lightly cook the beef in the same pan used for the garlic and onions. Cook until it starts to brown, but dont let it darken. 

Beat eggs thoroughly with oregano, thyme, salt, and pepper.

Add all of the above ingredients together in a bowl with (cooked!) rice. Mix thoroughly then cover and let rest in the fridge.

Core and blanche your cabbage in boiling water, peeling them off as they become limp.

Once you've separated all the leaves, cut off any thick stems that would prevent the leaf from folding.

Put roughly 2 tablespoons of meat filling into each leaf. Fold the sides of the leaf inwards and roll it up. Place each cabbage roll seam-down into a casserole dish.

If they don't all fit in one layer, its more than okay to stack. Try not to stack more than 2 layers though.

Once you've used all the cabbage, take your can of tomatos and pour them over the rolls. Mix some oregano into the tomato sauce and pour that over the rolls as well.

Bake uncovered in the oven at 350 for about 2 hours. Dont worry if a bit of tomato on top looks burnt.

IF REHEATING LEFTOVERS: Bake 10 cabbage rolls in the oven at 320 for about 40 minutes. Reduce time for less rolls.

[toysrguts]

smiling friends headcanons!! :D

i have smiling friends brainrot

allan:

•wine is his de-stresser. after a long shift he likes to go home and sip on a glass of wine while watching shit TV like some kind of cool guy

•doesn't smoke cigarettes often but will bum one off of charlie sometimes during their breaks

•bites people he loves :)

•perhaps his dr. monsters appointment with dr. monster was an appointment to assess him for OCD

•very very particular about the way he likes things and hates unexpected change in his routine

•also a math god he's like a walking calculator

•always helping other people reach things that they cant

•he has to be like 6’3 or something probably

•autism be damned my boy can work a grill (he can cook really well)

•in fact hes often the one cooking meals for the other smiling friends

•he also lovessss to garden its one of his favorite hobbies

•he grows his own vegetables to cook with and flowers to decorate his home :)

•i feel like this man would get down to some queen or duran duran

•he’ll listen to pretty much anything but i feel like he would gravitate towards 80s classics

•used to own a car that he loved but it broke down and he never bought another one

•went to school for engineering and started volunteering at smiling friends after graduating as kind of a placeholder job, but loved it so much it became his full time job

•cheese is his safe food

•had to wear glasses when he was younger but felt like they deterred the ladies so he switched to wearing contacts

•probably drinks black coffee like a fucking freak

•either that or he adds oat milk

•hes pretty anxious and freaks out a lot and will also snap if he has sensory overload

•wears noise canceling headphones a lot cause too much noise drives him insane

•HATES fabric touching his skin but will still wear a tie cause “it’s classy” and will wear clothes if hes out in public

•once took a trip to france and almost didnt come back cuz it was like cheese heaven

•goes clubbing during some of his nights off and is a karaoke GOD

•also goated at chess and gets heated during a game of scrabble

charlie:

•definitely sneaks a cart into work every day

•if allan didn’t cook this dude would go into debt from ordering takeout every day

•was raised mostly by his uncle cause his parents werent always around, and they're more like really good friends now that hes older

•grew up poor and had a pretty hard childhood overall but he doesn't dwell on it too much

•relieves his stress and frustration by terrorizing people in fortnite lobbies

•the smiling friends hq is air conditioned 24/7 per his request, he's heat sensitive and sweats EXCESSIVELY

•uses axe body spray to mask the stench

•his living conditions are depressing to look at, the only furniture in his apartment is a mattress and an old camping chair he borrowed from his uncle years ago

•also probably owns a shelf dedicated to lego builds

•he spends like 90% of his time in his bed if not working

•his morning routine consists of waking up disoriented asf, throwing on some clothes laying on the floor, forgetting to brush his teeth and walking out the door

•was exposed to shock sites wayyy too young

•acted out and got in trouble a lot in his adolescence but now just likes to keep to himself for the most part

•believe it or not he was baptized as a baby

•started caring about life a little more ever since experiencing hell

•feel like he likes music his uncle showed him as a kid, maybe judas priest and whitesnake type shit

•doesn’t even have to say anything when he goes to salty’s cause hes a regular and they know his exact order

•thats a bisexual man if ive ever seen one

•the hat hides his receding hairline lul

•has a fat ass surgical scar on his nose from when james ripped it off

•wears the same beat up white adidas shoes and got in highschool

•owns one of those “dubstep, weed and jacking off” shirts

•hes an only child but pim is like a brother to him

•had a family dog growing up and is a dog person overall

pim:

•begs to play roblox when anyone else is playing video games in the office

•curls up into a ball when he sleeps

•also will freak out without a night light

•his room is definitely littered with stuffed animals

•grew up watching mlp (g1) and probably still owns some pony figures

•and says “hello everypony!!” when entering a room

•played a LOT of browser and flash games as a youngster like club penguin and moviestar planet

•genuinely finds beauty in everything i wish i was on his level of joy and whimsey

•would totally listen to vocaloid and would totally go on a super long tangent about how its so cool and holograms are so cool

•also has a collection of light sticks and miku plushies and definitely kisses his miku poster goodnight

•i feel like he ate paint chips as a child

•craves social interaction cuz his parents had a rocky marriage and were neglectful and his sister treated him like shit when they were kids

•his sister would tug on his nerve ending when she got annoyed

•having a rough upbringing and dysfunctional family is what pushed him to start working for smiling friends, hes genuinely passionate about making people smile and just wants to help people who are in bad situations like he was

•prone to panic attacks :(

•sings little songs to calm himself down

•flails his arms or jumps around when hes excited

•still uses pool floaties when swimming lmao

•also still loves to dress up and play pretend as an adult

•mmmmm loves sweets what is a nutritious meal?????

•wore glasses growing up but just kind of stopped for some reason probably cuz his eyes are fucking massive

glep:

•chronic cyberbully-er

•tells people to kts in his gibberish language when they annoy him

•has most likely caused several wars across the globe

•puts whatever he wants on the tv and then hides the remote and watches everyone fight over who took it

•small but lets out the most diabolical burps imaginable

•is fluent in every single language on earth and probably space too

•absolutely brainrotted from that ipad he wont stop watching skibidi toilet

•unties peoples shoes when theyre not paying attention

•little guy has never known sobriety in his life

•has so many random ass pictures and videos saved on his tablet

•hes like a little vlogger

•if someone says or does something he doesnt like he’ll probably hire a hitman on them

•definitely has access to the deep web

•hates gardening but will help allan out with it once in a while for something in return (like a grilled cheese or some weed or something)

•also will sit next to allan while hes cooking so he can eat all the scraps

[isuckatwritingsobenice]

Lovesick Alastor headcannons? also can it be slight yandere coded, with a AFAB reader? would also like this to be in the 60’s AU, if that’s okay!!

A/n: 60’s? Alastor? Yandere? The killer is literally having all the cards in his favor rn 😨😨 !! But don’t worry bby I like this thought, AND HE’S LOVESICK??? 10/10 delulu thought bc we all know Alastor wouldn’t be like this ( but yk, I feed into my delusions, so today he’s gonna be a lovesick mf thank you 😝 ) Also, HUMAN ALASTOR BECAUSE THE GIRLIES THAT LOVE HIM JUST AS MUCH AS I DO MUST BE FED !!!!!

𝑾𝑨𝑹𝑵��𝑵𝑮𝑺: yandere themes! Unhealthy obsession! NSFW ahead! Reader is headcannoned as AFAB but can be read otherwise! Mentions of race & segregation! Mentions of drinking & smoking!

ੈ✩‧₊˚𝙉𝘼𝙑𝙄𝙂𝘼𝙏𝙄𝙊𝙉 *ੈ✩‧₊˚ 𝙈𝘼𝙎𝙏𝙀𝙍𝙇𝙄𝙎𝙏*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *

Songs you can play while listening: We’ll meet Again By Vera Lyn. Lovefool by the Cardigans. Try a Little Tenderness By Otis Redding ( or Frank Sinatra however you see fit ). Come Fly with me by Frank Sinatra. These Arms of Mine by Otis Redding. Are you lonesome tonight by Elvis Presley. Strangers in the night by Frank Sinatra. Cant help falling in love by Elvis Presley.

⋆˚✿˖° 𝑳𝑶𝑽𝑬𝑭𝑶𝑶𝑳 ⋆˚✿˖°

Lovesick Alastor would include….

A large sum of gifts

dancing to elvis

Have a ton of bouquets your not sure what to do

Having to go out of the city to a smaller town so you two can have some sort of privacy

alastor gets into more ‘white’ bars than people expect and only because of his status, it deeply bothers him

Dancing to frank sinatra >>>

he takes you dancing a lot, like a WHOLE LOT

drive ins a are a must, and it’s always so romantic, even if it’s simple you know? he usually parks away from other people to make it more private

make out sessions in his car at said drive in

he really likes getting milk shakes with you

attends elvis shows with you and you both just stand really close to the divider so when it eventually breaks you two are already so close together

having to sneak around at night so you two don’t get caught with one another

adoring his mother and her cooking

ALASTOR WITH A FANCY CAR >>>>>

alastor kills anyone he sees interact with you while you’re at work, or just anyone he doesn’t like near you in general

kills your neighbor because he saw alastor leaving your house ( you will never know )

Alastor likes helping you pick dresses and do your hair, he also learnt a lot from his mother in this aspect

sewing together >>>

you two often sit by the river together sometimes even late at night

he loves when you run to him scared about the killer in the area, he thinks it’s ironic and funny

would do anything and everything for you

helps fix your house, he’s very handy

secretly envies the younger children with fathers that actually talk to them

[thesuperiorrobin]

“Media is stupid….”

❥ Pairing: Damian Wayne x FemReader

❥ Word count: idk I technically lost count

❥ Summery: small writhing of Instagram lives

❥ Warning: mentions of making out in the end.

You- white Damian-Green Jason-Red

Ever since you and Damian went out to the press to release the fact that you were dating people went wild. Aside from the whole stalking phase that had another phase where they tried to find your social media. Which really wasn’t hard in the first place because your username was your first and last name so it was easy to find you. The only form of media you have is just Instagram and Twitter. But Twitter is just for your daily news and Instagram—aside from those blurry pictures you claim are aesthetic— are for the lives. And the people of Gotham eat it up. Damian, for obvious reason, was never in the light when it came to the media having stated before that it was useless and “damages your brain and turns you into an idiotic imbecile” which is probably true. But then you came into his life and gave the world a glimpse of his sad dull little life—to which you had brought light into— and now everyone knows Damian Wayne isn’t as boring as he seemed! But to be fair Damian isn’t the only one—you brought his whole family involved! And the News will always be grateful for that! They really eat your Instagram lives and there’s completions of you with either Damian or one of his siblings.

Like for instant in a Instagram live—

“What are you eating? Must be good if you’re tearing that shit up up? What are you eating it looks good?’m eating a crouton salad”

Robin_lover: just a crouton salad?

!Batman_Forever!: it looks good!

Damian_Wayne_Fanpage: I don’t see any greens tho

“Well Damian Wayne fanpage-that’s cause it’s just croutons and ranch!”

“It’s my depression meal. At least that’s what my parents call it”

“What the hell is a Depression meal?”

“It’s like a meal that you put together when your mental health makes cooking hard”

“I could have had Alfred cook you up something, beloved. Something that’s has more nutritions and not salty bake bread bits with ranch all over it.

“But it’s good thought. Even Alfred look at me weird when I denied he was going to make for me and all i wanted was this. I saved him a lot of dishes”

____________________________________________

Damian_Wayne_Fanoage: what is one thing you like about damian.

“He’s big ass bathroom. Like his bathroom is the size of my bedroom and I’m jealous”

“You practically live in my bathroom love”

“Oh you’re right. As we speak guys we are literally in my boyfriends bathroom in the walk in shower just sitting here”

“I have my hair stuff here just sitting on top of the sink too”

“Don’t know why beloved you don’t even shower here”

“Yeah. For reasons I’m only allowed to use the guest shower though if I do end up spending the night”

“Unfortunately”

“Don’t let Bruce hear you lol”

____________________________________________

User19382818345: what’s a memory you will alway find funny

“They day I had accidentally took Alfred the cat home with me”

“I still do not understand how you take a cat home and not notice”

“Well Alfred snuck in my backpack. So honestly I didn’t even question why it was so heavy all of a sudden”

“But yeah he called me freaking out that his cat went missing. Almost burn down the city looking for him”

“I’ll do anything for that cat”

“Me too cause he’s my little baby. Right Alfred

“Meow”

____________________________________________

People loves that lives that include the brother sister bond between you and jason. The only reason as you try is because he’s the only one you show in your lives—not because your don’t favor Dick and Tim but because he’s the only one at the Manor when you visit.

Robin_lover: do you favor jason over the others? Cause he’s the only one we always see

“Nah. Jason’s actually my least favorite. My favorite one is actually Damian one hundred percent!”

“*Gasp*! Lady Gaga is live”

“Okay bye everyone see you in an hour!”

“Cant you just use tod-“

Instagram live has ended

____________________________________________

JasonToddFan: what’s your fav Lady Gaga song????

“My favorites are Love game, Judas, and replay!”

“I like poker face”

“Oh that’s a good one too”

“I wanna hold ‘em like they do in Texas please fold em, let em hit me—“

“Isn’t that song copyrighted?”

“Oh shit he’s right—don’t mind me I wasn’t singing poker face at all”

“You think if we played the Cartman version we’ll get sued or something?

“ I don’t know, probably”

“…..”

“P-p-p Poker face-“

____________________________________________

User2983108567: Does Bruce actually like you?

“Honestly the amount of times that poor man has caught me tongues deep in his sons mouth—I think he’s just tried of me to be honest lol”

“BELOVED!”

“You can’t be saying that sort of stuff online—more or less on an Instagram live”

“But he’s tried of both of us. Every time my father catches us doing something we are supposed to be doing in private I can always hear him sigh”

“Yeah like a very disappointing one too”

“Sometimes I think he just wonders why we’re like this”

“It’s true. I Sometimes see them making out too and it’s disgusting!”

“Todd I swear to go-“

Live has ended

[cyanidedrinkers]

Will someone ever match my freak ;-;

Because i feel like theres not a lot about Patches Wolverine and Hooded Deadpool (Idk if they're in the same universe but like- They fit.) Hooded Deadpool being hired as a bodyguard for a few games, Bored out of his mind intel he sees a very handsome man in a white coat Patches Wolverine who could care less about gambling but needed another outlet then smoking and drinking. He promised his daughter he'd stop Hooded Deadpool who memorizes when the man comes in and wears increasingly more skimpy outfits but keeps the hood and mask Patches Wolverine who notices a body guard whos a little to friendly and always shoos the man off, Wondering where he's seen that mask before Patches Wolverine who pisses off one to many people and starts a fight Hooded Deadpool who steps in with his slit dress and stilettos to de-escalate the situation Overly drunk and angry mob men who deck Hooded Deadpool in the face only to have an entire clip unloaded into them Hooded Deadpool who only complains that his dress got unnecessarily ripped during it all as he drags the bodies out back Patches Wolverine who helps the weird hooded man because it was his fault that he started the fight Hooded Deadpool who takes this opportunity to talk to olders ear off Patches Wolverine who finds the excessive talking annoying but gets a good laugh out of the man so he puts up with it Hooded Deadpool who makes it a point to stay close to Patches any time he comes in Hooded that get entertains one of the men at Patches table as they flirt with him Hooded Deadpool visibly uncomfortable as the man gets handsy but cant do anything because he's on shift Patches who gets defensive and grabs Hooded by the waist, Pulling him closer because god damnit thats his hypersexual bodyguard. Hooded and Patches who grow close and end up having gross, disgusting, downright questionable naught time in the bathroom Patches realizing where he remembers the mask from and starts to pull away as all his previous feelings about Wade come crashing back Hooded who becomes sad that Patches is pulling away Patches who keeps his distance only to snap at one of the men at the table when they make some comment Hooded's skin, Remembering how it made Wade uncomfortable Patches who drags Hooded home one day in his car after a particularly nasty fight Hooded who refuses to take off the mask even while in Patches home, Infront of Mini-ine Patches who tells Wade to stay because who knows damn well that man doesnt have anything but a shoe box and some guns to go back to Patches who keeps telling Wade to stay Patches who cooks Hooded breakfast each morning and takes Wade on grocery runs, and take him to drop off Laura Hooded who can't help but swoon for Logan like he did back then Hooded who tries to pretend to be oblivious to who Patches is Logan who becomes more defensive about what Wade wears, Scared that someone will become to handsy Wade who yells at him one day telling Patches that he can wear whatever he wants Logan who yells back that he doesnt like it when other men grab at him or flirt with him Wade who hisses that "I'm not yours" Logan who bites back "But i wish you were" Wade and Logan who tackle each other into a much needed kiss and spend the rest of the day intel they need to pick up Laura talking and kissing, and being soft with eachother Wade who flirts with other patrons knowing it makes Logan mad when he's upset with him Logan who buys Wade a collar, A discreet one, and has Wade wear it whenever he goes into his shift Patrons who die or wish they did whenever they overstep and try to take whats Patches or make one to many jokes about the mutants boyfriend Logan and Wade who are dysfunctional but match eachothers freak and make one hell of a team becoming domestic in their own weird way Laura who knew it was Wade the moment Logan first told her about the bodyguard and just accepted that Wades gonna be a recurring person in her life