#who the hell are these people

[tales-of-the-ghost-zone]

A few months before Danny gets his powers, while on a trip to Gotham with his family (maybe there was a ghost convention or something). While in Gotham Danny some how figures out that Bruce Wayne is Batman. I don’t know how he figures it out, but he does. When they get back to Amity Danny jokingly makes a power point presentation for his parents about why they should put in their will that if something ever happened to them Bruce Wayne would get custody of him (and Jazz if she’s still underage at the time).

A couple of his points are:

He’s a billionaire so you know he’ll be able to afford to take care of me and Jazz

He has a mansion so lots of space and big rooms

He’s got a butler

He’s already well known for adopting black haired blue eyed children so he probs wouldn’t be opposed to taking me in

He’s got kids of his own already so me and Jazz would get more siblings!!

He’s Batman

Danny did the whole power point as a joke but his parents actually took it kind of seriously. Cause up to this point neither one of them had thought about what would happen to Danny and Jazz if the both of them where to die. So they make a will and put in it that if they both die then Bruce Wayne gets custody of their kids. And then they all promptly forget about it.

Two years later Bruce Wayne gets a call from a man claiming to be the executor of the Fenton will and that Bruce’s presence is requested in Amity Park for the reading of the Fenton will. Bruce is wracking his brain trying to remember who the Fenton’s are and if how he knows them. But the man is coming up blank (cause he’s never actually met them before). He goes to the will reading and is shocked to hear that the Fenton’s, two people he’s never met before, have left custody of their 16yo son to him.

Danny is just as shocked because holy shit that power point was a joke. He didn’t mean for his parents to actually take it seriously and do that!!! And Vlad is pissed. He was sure he was gonna get custody of Danny after killing off the Fenton parents! Bruce is trying to figure out why these two strangers left their son to him. He’s watching Danny with eagle eyes trying to figure the kid out. And he sees the way Danny flinches whenever Vlad gets close or puts his hand on Danny’s shoulder.

Vlad tries to convince Bruce it would be better for Danny if Bruce gave up custody to him(Vlad). He’s know the boy for two years after all and he was actually a family friend. Danny meanwhile is silently shaking his head and giving Bruce pleading eyes silently begging him not to let Vlad take him. Bruce just tells Vlad that the Fenton’s must have had a good reason for giving him(Bruce) custody instead of giving it to Vlad, and he’s going to abide by the Fenton’s wishes.

Bruce leaves with Danny and once in the limo he asks Danny if he’s ever met him or his parents before. Poor Danny has to explain how he jokingly made a power point about why his parents should leave custody of him to Bruce in the event of their deaths, and how he never thought his parents would actually take it seriously. But hey at least he doesn’t have to go live with Vlad now!

[pixiecricket]

Man what the hell is going on

[lesbianralzarek]

"life doesnt get better, you just get stronger" does NOT include ages 11-17. life does in fact just get better from there. those years are dogshit. like, you do get stronger but its mostly just a factor of not being 11-17 anymore. positive thinking helps but it doesnt fix whatevers going on at 15, you have to brute force through that one raw

[emilnikos]

I need non autistic people to realise meltdowns are a real debilitating thing that has a serious effect on your mental and physical health NOWWWWW!!! The way its been trivialized and lessened pisses me the fuck off. It's not a tantrum and it doesn't come from "being too weak-willed" it's painful and it's embarrassing AND MOST OF ALL IT'S INVOLUNTARY!! Don't claim to be an ally to autistic or disabled people and then make fun of people who have meltdowns. Literally get the hell out of my sight

[mwagneto]

sorry idk but the way the world is so fast and the people in it still want it to be faster is sooo annoying to me. people groaning while standing in line for 3 minutes people being mad the train ride is gonna take 2 hours people complaining that the bus is a few minutes late people being angry that construction work is taking months even though it used to take decades. don't you see the world is already so so so fast in every single aspect can't you understand that being mad will do nothing and just make your mood worse. enjoy the moments of stillness you're given. just stand in line and look at the people around you. sit on the train and watch the scenery. you'll get there.

[podcast-hemocytoblast]

What if when Michael got Distortioned he/they/it/(?) had just kept showing up to work? Imagine Gertrude comes into the archives and finds a bunch of paperwork filled out in yellow highlighter and folded into impossible shapes, and then Michael-Distortion just walks into the room door-style and sits down at his work computer so it can email Gertrude a phishing scam.

[foldingfittedsheets]

I worked retail for a long time and people really do treat you like shit sometimes. But between selling sex toys, mattresses, and jewelry I can say definitively I got treated worst selling mattresses.

All three of my jobs were in sales but selling sex toys we were allowed to put people in their place, and in jewelry people didn’t want to misbehave in a fancy setting. But people at the mattress store had no problem yelling at me, hitting on me, or insulting me to my face.

For a while I was managing my own store for the company. I ran a small location and had struggling employees placed with me for rehabilitation. If their numbers improved they could go back to bigger stores. If not, they got fired.

So this meant I was the manager of problem employees. At one point both of my people had a foot out the door. The company was going downhill and changed computer systems and they were fed up. Consequently, they made a ton of mistakes, because they just didn’t care about the job or learning the new systems.

I strolled into work on what was essentially my Monday to a shit show. Deliveries scheduled without product, wrong things on orders, poor expectations of the process, you name it. I spent the entire morning getting yelled at for mistakes that weren’t mine.

The final straw came when a man called furious that his moms bed for her nursing home had a delivery window he couldn’t accommodate. This wasn’t a huge disaster since we still had time to deliver it before she moved. I ran him through the options and he just kept screaming at me. Not for a solution but because I was there and he was frustrated.

My heart filled with malice and a cold fury. A calculating part of my brain had a realization in that moment that I could stay a punching bag or I could strike back.

I quavered my voice delicately, taking in a shaky, warbling breath like I was trying not to cry. “Sir,” I quivered through fake tears, “I don’t know what you want from me! I told you what I can do, I didn’t make this mistake I’m just trying to fix it!” My voice broke pitifully on the last syllables, sounding in all ways like a sweet innocent person being yelled at who’s just trying her best, really!

It was like I’d doused him with cold water. My emotional act was the realization that he was screaming at someone who was just doing their damn job, and he was being an asshole. He hastily made an excuse and hung up.

I had a third employee covering with me from another store that day who heard everything. When I hung up, I looked over to see them watching me with an awed expression. “Did… did you just pretend to cry?”

“I absolutely fucking did,” I said with feeling, “and I’d do it a thousand more times. If that’s what it takes for someone to realize they’re behaving like a fucking prick, they deserve it.” The employee looked at me like I was their hero.

The man called back, apologizing profusely, having magically arranged his schedule to accommodate delivery. He came in later that week with an apology Starbucks gift card. I was gracious in my acceptance.

I pulled it a few more times before leaving the company. I felt no shame in the ruse. If someone behaves so poorly that it’s plausible their behavior would drive someone to tears they deserve to feel absolutely wretched about it.

[milk-lover]

Sobbing uncontrollably reading through a dissertation about the college experience of students with ADHD. It is like reading a report about my life that just says over and over "My experiences are real. My hardships are real. I am not lazy, I am not dumb. My struggles were not my fault, and they were not a moral failing. The failure was with the system, not with me."

Here's a line that got me in particular:

"Hotez et al.(2022) compared the health, academic, and non-academic capacities of a nationally representative sample of U.S. first-year college students with ADHD and without ADHD. Students with ADHD self-reported lower academic aspirations and more feelings of depression and overwhelm, ranking themselves lower in their general emotional health. The fact that students with ADHD scored in the highest 10th percentile for many non-academic traits, such as artistic ability, computer skills, creativity, public speaking, social confidence, self-understanding and understanding of others, compassion, and risk-tasking, suggests that this population has strengths that are frequently underappreciated in academia."

(the paper is a thesis called "Understanding the Collegiate Experience for Students With ADHD" by Gia Long, 2022)

[grandadtwelve]

I know that donna was like “haha yeah doctor you’ve always been kinda gay” but it’s better 2 me if the doctor actually meant “oh I say that shit out loud now” the same way he said that about verbalizing his feelings/saying “love”. bc do I think the doctor was completely unaware of any and all attraction they’ve ever had to men? nah not at all. do I think the doctor has ever seen an attractive person and immediately gone “yeah. smash.” out loud? no sir

[thevioletcaptain]

i genuinely don't care how good a piece of ai generated art or writing looks on the surface. i don't care if it emulates brush strokes and metaphor in a way indistinguishable from those created by a person.

it is not the product of thoughtful creation. it offers no insights into the creator's life or viewpoint. it has no connection to a moment in time or a place or an attitude. it has no perspective. it has no value.

it's empty, it's hollow, and it exists only to generate clicks (and by extension, ad revenue.)

it's just another revolting symptom of the disease that is late stage capitalism, and it fucking sucks.

[palipunk]

I actually won’t call celebrities or politicians pro-Palestine just for calling for a ceasefire (the literal bare minimum). A ceasefire is not the end goal - if you’re not for Palestinian liberation, the right of return, and land back - I don’t consider you pro Palestine. Argue with the wall

[hiding-under-the-willow]

anyways. What

[frownyalfred]

Alcohol tips for newbie writers (or non drinkers!):

At bars, people who order “chasers” after their shots are ordering something to wash down the taste of their shot with. This can be juice, soda, more alcohol, or even pickle juice

Hard liquor is generally sold in stores as shots (tiny bottles), fifths, liters, and handles or in ml (50, 100, 200 etc)

Most people can’t finish an entire fifth of hard liquor (vodka, etc) on their own without being very ill

Conversely, many people can finish an entire bottle of wine on their own without being ill

Liquor can be “bottom shelf” or “rail” or “well” -- all synonyms for the cheapest version of alcohol a bartender has. Bars generally keep several “levels” of alcohol stocked

You order a drink with the alcohol first, then the mix -- e.g., a “vodka soda” or a “Tito’s and tonic”

When you “close out a tab”, you pay for all of the drinks you’ve had that night. Either the bartender already has your card (you “opened a tab” earlier) or it was quiet enough that they just kept an eye on you and tallied your bill up at the end

“Doubles” are drinks or shots with double the standard pour of alcohol

In the US, most shots (pours) are 1.5 oz by default. 

Mixed drinks (gin and tonic, vodka lemonade, cosmos, etc) are generally made up of 1-2 shots and a mixer 

If you don’t specify which type of alcohol you’d like in a mixed drink (vodka cranberry, for example) the bartender will put whatever the “house” liquor is -- and this depends entirely on the establishment. A dive bar will pour rail by default, whereas a nicer tavern might make all vodka cranberries with Tito’s

PLEASE TIP YOUR BARTENDERS THEY WILL REMEMBER YOU I PROMISE

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Average Drama Enjoyer observes some peak drama.

[communistkenobi]

cannot overstate how much you should not take seriously anyone who thinks IQ is a valid or valuable measure of human beings

[nerdpoe]

Damian's online friend is sleeping over at Wayne Manor, and its going great.

Well, until he dies.

They had all gone down to "sleep", which meant that they had Daniel go to sleep while everyone went out on patrol.

Upon returning, Damian checked on Daniel.

Just to make sure that his Grandfather had not sent any assassins that had taken advantage of Damian's weakness in friendships, of course.

Daniel isn't breathing.

When Damian goes to check his pulse, it isn't there.

Damian storms out of the room on a warpath; he would find who had killed his friend and he would make them pay.

Danny wakes up six hours later on a metal slab in a secret underground lair with one Leslie Thompkins hovering over him with a scalpel.