#wish i could watch me for a whole day from someone elses POV so i really know how i look...

[loverboybitch]

hair unironically stressing me out . like . what do i do with it.//.

[stormz369]

☕💖 Can I Get Your Number? ☕💖 Ch 1

Jason Todd x Chubby! Reader (fem) A/N: I don't know what I'm doing here, I'm not even much of a DC fan, but Jason Todd has quickly become my latest hyper fixation character (Harley Quinn too, do I just have a thing for Joker victims???) so ... thank you for giving me a place to put this energy I guess! 😂 I'm not super confident on the characterizations, but I'm going with it because I like it. If it's wildly ooc ... that tracks, given that the only DC comic I've read is Batman: Wayne Family Adventures. Read it, or don't, I just needed to get the thoughts out of my head. The art doesn't belong to me, but the writing does. Please do not post elsewhere!

written with a female reader in mind, first person pov, no use of Y/N, starting out fluffy, will probably get NSFW later so minors DNI, let me know if there's anything else I should tag this with!

word count: 1.7k

Chapter 1 Chapter 2

In a city known for its masked fighters, you learn pretty quickly that everyone and everything is a potential threat. Every approaching stranger on the street, every loud sound behind you, every dark alleyway. Being bigger than me certainly isn't a prerequisite to being a danger, but it does have a way of setting off my mental alarms. I've found that big men are used to getting their way, and they get all sorts of bent out of shape if you deny them their wishes. Especially when they think they're doing you a favor.

It died down a bit after high school; I learned to exist in public with ‘fuck off’ stamped across my face. Headphones on, reading a book, intentionally seated at the table furthest from the other cafe patrons. All the typical signs of someone who wants to be left alone; nothing about me said ‘please come talk to me'. So I was understandably on edge when I noticed someone standing by the chair across from me. I look up just a bit, gesturing to the chair with a nod. Silent consent to take it back to his table and leave me to my book.

No such luck. The man simply smiled and mimed taking headphones off. Putting a bored look on my face, I moved one off my ear. “... Hm?”

“Hi! I'm sorry to bother you, but my brother thinks you're really beautiful and is refusing to come tell you himself.” 

I could feel my expression turning to stone. “... What is this, middle school?”

His cheerful grin faltered ever so slightly; “hey, I know it's a bit silly, but he's awkward around cute girls, so what's a brother to do, ya know?”

I stared him down; “... You're not fooling anyone. Move on.”

“... Sorry, ‘fooling anyone’?”

“It’s not funny, it’s not even hurtful the 20th time, it's just annoying. Go. Away.” It was a lie; it was always painful to be on the receiving end of these pranks. But that was what these guys wanted, so I wasn't going to tell him that. My headphones back in place, the guy slunk away.

Ten minutes later, another person was standing by the chair. I pretended not to see him, continuing to read my book, until he plopped down in the seat. I looked up slowly and he smiled, another oddly warm smile, leaning forward on his elbows.

An incredibly put-out sigh later, I slid the headphones off one ear again. “What?”

“Hi, I'm Tim! I'm not sure what exactly my brother said to you, but I wanted to let you know - we're not trying to prank you or something. Our brother is just way too awkward with girls. It's painful to watch, really, so we figured we'd give him a hand.” He spoke much too fast for me to get a word in. I blinked a bit, raising an eyebrow.

“... You frat boys are really committing to the bit these days, huh?”

“Huh? No, really, I promise!”

My headphones were nearly back into place when a child showed up. His impatient expression matched how I felt about the whole situation. “As usual, Drake, your plans are far too convoluted to be effective. Watch and learn.”

He turned to me, nothing about his demeanor changing; “hello. Todd said we shouldn't bother you because you ‘clearly want to be alone’, but I am convinced the only way to stop their nonsense is if he comes over. May he have a moment of your time?”

Frowning a little, I stared at the kid. He stared right back, neither of us blinking for a solid minute as we sussed each other out. His expression barely changed, but the boredom in his eyes turned into determination. “... Well, you're definitely not a frat boy. So I'll make you a deal; you may report back that he has permission to come say hi. If he doesn't choose to, that's the end of this little charade. And if either of them” I gestured to the one sitting at my table; “comes back over here, I start stabbing. Got it?”

The boy nodded once, and I thought I saw a ghost of a smirk. “You have my word.” He dragged the other man out of the chair by his shirt, pulling him stumbling toward their table. That was when I saw him. The only person at their table who hadn't come over yet. Even hunched over the table he was enormous, probably close to six feet tall; exactly the kind of man I typically avoided. The kid spoke sharply, pointing in my direction, and his head shot up to look in my direction. Even from across the spacious patio, I could see his face turning red. The obnoxious, cocky smirk I was expecting to see was entirely missing; instead he seemed almost confused.

Headphones back on but turned off so I could hear if he approached, I returned to my book. But I only got through a few pages before the first one shouted; “and offer to get her another coffee or something!”

I looked over to see the tall one frozen halfway between our tables, a look on his face like he was considering jumping over the patio fence to get away. His demeanor reminded me of a lost puppy, and I couldn't help the chuckle that rose up out of my throat. I bookmarked my page, set the book aside, and slid my headphones down around my neck. I really thought he was about to bolt until I lifted one hand, curling my fingers to gesture for him to continue toward me.

He stopped short by a good several feet, eyeing the distance between himself and the chair, and took one extra step back. It seemed as if he was hyper aware of just how much he loomed over me; the way he stood was like he was trying to will himself to be smaller, and he kept his hands at his sides. “Um … hi. … Sorry, this is … this is really weird …”

I nodded, watching him. “It is a bit. … Todd, was it?”

“Jay… Jason.”

“Not Todd?”

“Jason Todd. Damian calls me Todd, he thinks using people's last names keeps them at an arm's length…” Jason Todd. The name felt familiar, but I couldn't place why. He continued to ramble about how important tone was in determining whether this Damian kid was referring to you with affection or disdain, and I watched him. He was admittedly very cute; he had a sort of a bad boy aesthetic -leather jacket, dark clothes, a white streak in his hair, some unusual scars on his face and arms-, which juxtaposed interestingly with the gentleness in his voice, bright eyes, and awkward mannerisms. That was actually the thing that made the most sense about this situation; bikers are often secret teddy bears.

“... Jason?”

He looked up at me, one hand sheepishly making its way into his hair. “Yeah, sorry, you want me to go. I'll get them to stop harassing you, so sorry-”

“Actually, I was going to say you don't have to stand the whole time.” I gestured to the chair across from me.

He hesitated, watching me. “... Y- you don't want me to go?”

I smiled softly and shook my head. “Sit?”

He quickly obeyed, a hesitant smile on his face, which was almost immediately hidden by his hand when his brothers whooped from their table. “... God, I'm so sorry … th- they mean well, really, they're not trying to be weird …”

I laughed softly, “it's fine, that's what siblings do, right?”

“... I guess so … I've been sort of … away for a while, but I guess this is pretty standard sibling behavior. … Right?”

“I mean, a little more insistent than mine, but not too far outside the realm of what I’d consider normal.” I shrugged, finishing my chai latte.

He smiled slightly, considering that. “... Hm … um … c- can I get you another?” He gestured to my cup.

“... Sure, I've got time.”

The pleased grin on his face as he looked away to flag down a server surprised me. Then again, everything about him was surprising. Still, no one had ever looked at me quite like that before… 

The server sauntered over, clearly curious about my new companion. Jason smiled brightly; “Hi, can we get another for the lady? And I'll have a medium black coffee, sweet, please.”

Huh. He called me a ‘lady’. Not a girl, or a chick, a lady. That was … also surprising. We chatted for a little while, sipping our coffees, and tried to ignore his staring brothers. He was incredibly awkward, in a sweet, endearing way. I got the impression that he wasn't fully comfortable, but chalked it up to how weirdly this all started. After a while, the first one returned, a small grimace on his face.

I raised an eyebrow; “I'm pretty sure I told the little one that the next one of you to come over was getting stabbed.”

“I know, I know! I'm so sorry, but Jay, we gotta go. Bruce texted…”

That was when it clicked; why I knew the name Jason Todd. He was a Wayne … his death had dominated the news cycle for a week. His miraculous, frankly poorly explained, return was the story for at least two.

He looked, torn, between me and his brother. “Oh … um …”

The man I finally recognized as Dick Grayson leaned forward and fake-whispered, “the words you're looking for are ‘can I have your phone number'?”

Jason swatted him away, blushing bright red; “Seriously, Dick? … well, can I-”

His ears were turning red as I held my hand out for his phone. I added my contact info and, feeling unusually bold, I added ☕💖 after my name while Jason dropped a couple of bills on the table; I smiled a bit, realizing he was leaving enough to cover my first drink for me too. I passed his phone back, enjoying the look of wonder on his face when he checked the screen. The way he whispered my name, like a prayer meant only for god's ears, had my stomach doing backflips.

“thanks … I'll call you?”

“Sounds good. I'm a night owl, so not too early, yeah?”

He nodded eagerly. “Not too early, promise.”

Next ->

[fictional-mind21]

🎶ALL MY LOVE🎶

Characters: Reader, Bucky, Dot (Bucky's girlfriend)

Synopsis: No matter the circumstances, you and Bucky Barnes would always be linked

Warnings: Small mentions of alcohol, pining for someone else while in a relationship and I guess [???] miscommunication [????]

Word Count: Too lazy to check

a/n: I feel like this is sort of messy writing structure but 🤷‍♀️ (I couldn't get this song out of my head and then this popped out)

+ This is the first I've posted in A WHILE, if you missed me, MY BAD 😳

‼️‼️Before you start reading this know that:

Italics = song lyrics (if they have parentheses around them that means they're being said by one of the characters)

Blue = Bucky's POV and thoughts

Regular white is Reader's POV and thoughts‼️‼️

It's been 61 days, more precisely 2 months since you and Bucky last spoke. Dot, his girlfriend, had given him an ultimatum.

Your friendship or their relationship.

After a restless night's of sleep he'd gone over to your house to break the news to you.

You told him you understood that she felt threatened by your close relationship and it was best to cut ties so he could pursue his happiness.

There ain't a drop of bad blood, it's all my love

You were his happiness

He was your best friend after all and what kind of best friend would you be if you stood in the way of his happiness?

You were his happiness

He was also the guy who gave you your first kiss due to silly little middle schooler games.

Well, I leaned in for a kiss thirty feet from where your parents slept

And I look so confident, babe, I swear, I was scared to death

I smiled stupid the whole way home

The guy who you'd fallen in love with BUT who'd found love elsewhere, so of course you were letting him go.

Now you were at Tony's annual New Years party watching him from across the room being all lovey-dovey with Dot and feeling like you were at the top of Mount Everest.

Cold and lacking oxygen.

It was wrong.

Here he was rubbing noses with Dot when the past 2 months had been an emotional agony for him, a hole in chest where you used to be.

2 whole months of not being able to get you out of his head.

As soon as he stepped out of your apartment that night, he felt wrong. He wished you'd have told him to stay. Filled his head with delusion and told him to choose you because you couldn't live without him.

Even if it wasn't wrong, it was too late. He'd made his choice and you'd obviously never choose him as anything more than a friend. He was crazy to think about such things.

You burrowed in under my skin, what I'd give to have you out for me

How could he have been so stupid? How had he not realized his feelings for you before? He had to get you out of his head before he messed up what he had with Dot. He'd be dammed if he messed up the relationship that sacrificed his and yours.

He'd been so immersed in his thoughts that he didn't hear Dot calling him.

"Babe I'm gonna head to the bathroom, you gonna be ok?"

"Yeah"

As she walked away, he walked across the room towards the bar. Less for the drinks more so to stretch him legs and get a breath of fresh air. He took a seat nearest to the balcony and one look across the bar had him realizing THIS WAS A BAD IDEA.

He hadn't realized you'd come to the party.

There you were talking to a group of people smiling and laughing, like nothing was wrong in the world. Yet here he was yearning to be in your presence.

As the group walks away he has to force himself to look away or you'll feel him staring.

As the group you were talking to walks away you look back to where Bucky was with Dot only to see it empty.

As you question if they left already you sense something familiar. A feeling of warmth, one which you're first instinct is to blame on the alcohol, but the drink in front of you has been sitting untouched for so long that all the ice has melted and the drink has gone warm.

As you look to your left you find the culprit and butterflies erupt in your stomach.

It's Bucky. He's only a few feet away but it's the most bittersweet distance you've ever been from someone. You thought seeing him across the room was hard but here you are and the need to be near him has NEVER been stronger. Or at least that's what you think until he makes eye contact with you and your heart stops.

You got all my love while I'm still out here

His heart stops and he almost drops the drink he's been swirling around to distract himself from looking at you.

Because you're looking at him and he's looking back at you, mesmerized. His breathing becomes shaky as flashbacks of you and him flood his mind. Soon he sees you walking towards him.

As you're walking towards him you see his breathing start to slow down, and maybe that should be sign a sign to stop what you're doing and walk away but you don't.

"Buck, you ok?"

"Yeah you know me d-oll, hate these parties, just got a little overwhelmed but I'm good now"

Was he though? Because although his shaky breathing subsided he still felt like he could go into cardiac arrest at any moment.

Write me a list of how it is, of how it was, of how it has to be

"So how have things been?"

"Well, doll , now that you mention it things have been good"

"That's good"

Now I know your name, but not who you are

"What about you, anything new and exciting?"

I wanna hear all of it no matter how insignificant you think it is

"Well actually ..........

As he listens to you he can't help but think "God I've missed the sound of your voice". Suddenly he feels a smile on his lips, one that was always only meant for you.

When you realize he's smiling you ask him "what's wrong?"

"Absolutely nothing"

"I'm rambling, aren't I? I'm sorry" you say letting out a nervous laugh

"Don't apologize, I don't mind." I could listen to you talk all day

As time goes on you guys start talking which turns into laughing, a laugh he missed and had trouble forgetting the sound of, a laugh only he could pull out of you.

Suddenly, and what feels like too soon, Dot appears and she looks upset.

"Seriously Bucky? There was a super long line and I've been looking for you everywhere"

"I've been here the whole time Dot"

"With her?"

"She's got a name Dot"

"Bucky you promised, you know how I feel about this" Despite the previous semi rude comment she made, you can hear the hurt in her voice which adds to the guilt creeping up on you. You were not about to let Bucky's happiness turn into something tragic all because you couldn't walk away.

"Hey, Dorothea?"

She looks at you

"Listen, I'm really sorry, this was all my fault. I was the one who-"

"It wasn't her fault, she saw me get a little overwhelmed with the crowd and came over to help and then we got to talking. I'm sorry, Dot I didn't mean to dismiss your feelings"

"We should go, Buck"

All it takes is one certain word out of her mouth to make your whole evening crumble. A word that makes you face the fact that the guy standing in front of you will never be yours, at least not in the way you want him to be.

BUCK.

GOD THIS WAS A BAD IDEA. What were you thinking coming to this party?!!

"No need, I was already on my way out. Don't lie. Don't leave please, I need you Hope you guys have a wonderful time and take care"

If you need me, dear I'm the same as I was

[raya-hunter01]

Cruising Love Pt. 2.3 Final

Two Shot Request

Jey Uso x Black Female OC! (Kayla)

Jimmy Uso x Trin

Roman x Black Female OC! (Robin)

Sefa x Black Female OC! (Cameron)

Montez Ford x Bianca Belair

Rating: 18+

Warning: Smut,

Thank you for the requesting and trusting me once again @royalkay23 and sorry this last chapter took so long.

Jey has planned a five-day cruise to the Bahamas and Puerto Rico for his girlfriend Kayla’s birthday. Jey is determined to make sure the trip goes smoothly as he’s enlisted his family and friends to help him plan the perfect wedding proposal.

-----

Puerto Rico

Joe’s POV

“So, you ain’t got time for an old friend Joe?” Dainelle’s sister Regina asked as I sighed.

“I ain’t got time for this, I got somewhere to be,” I said as Danielle and her sister tried to block my path.

“So, you just gonna ignore me, Joe,” Danielle said as I paused truly not in the mood. My meds had me feeling a little bad this morning.

I slept in a little longer this morning while everyone else went to get things ready for Kayla’s birthday dinner.

“Yes, I am 'cause you have been out of pocket this whole damn trip,” I said as her sister Regina rolled her eyes.

“Nah, I’m serious Regina, you sister been trippin’” I said as Danielle looked guilty.

“Why don’t you fill me in Joe,” Regina said looking confused at her sister.

“Let’s just go, I ain’t worried about it anymore,” Danielle said as I shook my head.

“Did she tell you the first night on the ship she tried to push up on Jey. Like even after he told her that he had someone?”

“Wait, you told me he found you that night and begged for a second chance. Then his girlfriend got jealous and tried to attack you,” Regina said frowning at her sister.

“More like she tried to break up his relationship, she even showed up at Kayla’s birthday dinner in the Bahamas being messy as fuck. That’s why Kayla beat her ass,” I said as Regina looked disgusted.

“You lied to me and got me out here about to confront people about shit that didn’t even happen,” she hissed as Danielle sighed.

“She did threaten me!” Danielle said trying to plead her case as Regina scoffed.

 “You interrupted her birthday dinner with bullshit, and you tried to come on to her man. I woulda beat yo’ ass too, you are lucky that’s all she did,” Regina said as I nodded in agreement as Danielle wiped her tears.

“Look, Jey has moved on, and Danielle needs to do the same. Things could have gone way worse than it did the other day,” I said as Regina nodded.

“I’m really sorry about this Joe. Tell Jey I wish them well, and he won’t have to worry about my sister anymore, I guarantee it,” Regina said as I nodded leaving them alone.

“I already told you I ain’t going to bother them anymore!” I heard Danielle yell in the distance as I made my getaway.

“Yeah, you better, before I tell your little rich boyfriend and he cuts you off,” Regina said as I shook my head. Damn, she's really up to the same shit.

Looking for someone rich to sink her claws into. I swear I’m so glad Jey let that shit go all those years ago.

I went around the block so they couldn’t see where I was originally going. When the coast was clear I ducked into the restaurant.

“Bianca doing the damn thang,” I muttered watching her put the final touches on Kayla’s 40th birthday backdrop.

“Damn girl, you snapped on that,” I said admiring it but paused seeing her nervousness.

“Are you sure?” she asked looking over her work and gazing back at the crew from the venue putting the finishing touches on their own decorations.

“I think it’s awesome Bee, you’re really talented, sis,” I said as she smiled.

 “I really like it too, I just hate the restaurant did more gold in their decorations and only like a little speck of silver,” Bianca sighed running her finger over her tired face as I gave her a hug.

“It matches Bee, now stop stressing. Plus, I know Kayla is going to love it all,” I said, reassuring her as Montez walked in shaking his head.

“Did you tell her to stop stressing, I know I did” he said as she rolled her eyes, as shrugged his shoulders.

“I’m just sayin’ you’re being critical of yourself, and everything is amazing. It’s amazing because you made it Bee,” Montez said as she cracked a smile.

“Thanks baby, it means a lot coming from you,” she said taking a deep breath as he came over to comfort her.

“Let’s finish strong, the girls are out back with Sefa and Jimmy. We almost got everything done out there,” he said taking her in his arms as she smiled.

“I can if you wit me,” she whispered as he gently kissed her lips. “Girl, “I’m always wit you,” he whispered as I took the hint and left them alone.

Robin’s POV

“This looks so beautiful, I just can’t wait,” Trin said as we moved in sync finishing up as I spotted Joe.

“Hey you! How are you feeling?” I asked as he wrapped me up in his arms. “Never better, I told you I would help ya’ll,” he whispered as I shook my head.

“Nope, your doctor said rest, and you did enough the other day,” I said caressing his back. “I feel fine baby, and the nausea has finally passed,” he reassured me as I caressed his beard. “I’m glad, but we’re almost done so just take a seat,” I said as he sighed but complied with my wishes as we finished up.

“Just chill Uce, we got it,” Sefa said as Joe relaxed in his chair. Days like these the start of the day is rough but thank God he feels better as the day goes on.

“Yea, you gotta be on security detail tonight,” Jimmy said as Joe rolled his eyes. “No, I’m actually making sure the proposal entertainment gets here,” he said as I smiled.

“Wait, he said yes?” I asked as Joe smiled. “Oh! Jey and Kayla are gonna flip,” I squealed as Trin and Jimmy looked confused, then it clicked for Jimmy.

“Oh, shit Case gon’ come through and sing,” Jimmy said as Trin smiled.

“Glad you figured it out Jurdy cause’ when we were planning this trip, ya’ll was throwing so many ideas out I honestly forgot,” she said as we laughed.

“We almost there ya’ll, in a couple hours Jey and Kayla are going to be engaged,” Cameron said looking around taking everything in as we all tried to contain our excitement but, in the end, it was all going to be worth it.

-----

Regen Seven Seas Cruises

Jey and Kayla’s Suite

Kayla’s POV

“Jey, wait a minute” I moaned, pushing against his head and sliding back slightly trying to create some distance as he worked my body into a frenzy with his talented tongue.

“You think I’m playin’ don’t you? I told you to stop runnin’.” The pure hunger in his voice made my heart race as he moved to the foot of the bed.

“Jey! Oh, fuckI” I gasped, unable to think as Jey possessively pulled me to the end of the bed, bending my trembling legs to my chest as he kneeled before me.

“Mmhm, I told you it was breakfast time,” he moaned as I squealed in surprise as he glided his flat long tongue along my slit over and over taking his time as I writhed helplessly on the bed.

“Happy birthday baby,” he whispered as I gasped trying to catch my breath as his tongue swirled and stroked my pussy.

“Thank you!” I squealed in gratitude as he moaned, concentrating on the task at hand.

“Hold dem legs, Daddy’s hungry,” he whispered as his masterful tongue dipped inside my wet hot center, never stopping as he added a finger, then two, curving it against my G-spot over and over.

 “Yes! Eat Daddy, eat your pussy!” I screamed, trying to hold my legs as they started to shake.

“Mmm, Daddy love how wet his pussy gets for him,” he moaned, his tongue sensually flickering over my slit over and over.

“Just for you! Mmm, just for you,” I panted truly at his mercy as his long tongue devoured me.

“You gon’ cum for me birthday girl?........ Go ahead and cum for me,” Jey moaned, just as turned on as I was.

 How could I deny him, as his mouth and primal groans of encouragement brought me even closer to my release?  

My legs were now pure jello as that beautiful intense fire burning deep within me, exploded.

“Yes! Yes, I’m cummin’, oh!” I cried as Jey growled, releasing my clit, licking his lips in anticipation, and continuing to thrust his fingers against my g-spot hard and fast as I came undone for him.

My essence spilling from my body as he moaned truly pleased with himself.

“Oouu, fuck….You squirtin’ for Daddy, hell yea,” he praised as my essence continued to soak the bed.

“Jey, shit! Yes!” I screamed as his mouth once again engulfing my wet center as he quenched his thirst. My shaking legs falling on top of his shoulders as he caressed them.

My breath coming in short pants as he sensually cleaned me up with his tongue as I moaned. Damn, that was unexpected.

“Mmm, happy birthday baby,” he whispered as I weakly ran my fingers through his hair.

“Thank you,” I moaned trying to catch my breath as he reveled in my pleasure.

“Oh, trust me, it was my pleasure,” he said caressing my hips before getting up to start the shower.

“What about you?” I asked still trying to gather my bearings as he came back and scooped me up in his arms.

“That was for you, now let’s get you cleaned up so I can see you in that dress,” he whispered carrying me into the bathroom to shower.

Damn, my birthday is already starting off with a bang, literally. I wonder what he has in store for me tonight.

-----

The Experience

Kayla’s Birthday Dinner

Kayla’s POV

“Oh my god! This is too much,” I cried as we walked through into the venue.

“No, it isn’t,” Jey whispered gently kissing my neck as I tried to control my tears. “Oh, no ma’am don't ruin your makeup….Well at least not just yet,” Cameron said pulling me by the arm to show me around.

Everything was beautiful and I just felt overwhelmed and thankful for them all.

“Bee this has you written all over it and I love it,” I said looking at the beautiful backdrop as she smiled.

“See I told you she wouldn’t care that you put her real age up there,” Montez said as Sefa nudged him on the arm.

“Aye, never talk about women’s age man,” he said as I rolled my eyes at him.

“Just come get in the picture ya’ll,” I said pointing at Montez and Sefa as the photographer snapped a few shots.

The night was truly amazing, I mean it’s nothing like family, good food, good vibes and gifts. But out of all of that my most favorite and happiest time has been on the dance floor wrapped up in Jey’s arms.

“I can’t believe you found that dress I wanted, and you got them to do all my favorite dishes,” I whispered as we continued to dance.

“I told you I wanted you to have the best birthday ever,” he said as I smiled brightly at him. “I really have babe, and I don’t know how to thank you,” I said as our lips met in a loving kiss.

“I know how,” he said as I raised my eyebrows at him curiously. “How can I thank you?” I asked as he spun me around.

“Go put on the dress I got you,” he said as I laughed.

“You wanted me to wear this one, and now you want me to change into the other one,” I said trying to make sure I was understanding his request.

“Yes, go change because the night is just getting started,” he said as I smiled stealing a kiss before going back to the table and getting the dress out of the box.

“I’ll help you change,” Trin said as Cameron smiled. “Yea, I’ll help you too,” she said as they led me to the bathroom.

What the hell is going on?

Jey’s POV

“Are you Ready?” Bianca asked as I nodded, trying to calm my nerves. “Yeah, I’m more than ready,” I said as she gave me a hug before leading me outside as I felt my heart stop.  “Pick your jaw up Uce........ Yeah, we did that,” Montez said as I looked at them in disbelief.

“Holy shit! Are you serious, sis!” I exclaimed looking at her creation as she blushed. “Yes, we all worked together to make it happen, now enough talkin’ let’s get engaged. You can thank us later,” she said as Joe and Robin came up. “Alright all systems are a go,” Joe said as I nodded. “What are you up to? Where did ya’ll go?” I asked as he waved me off.

 “Don’t worry about that right now, we got you,” he said as Bianca fixed my tie.

“Go get engaged bro,” Sefa said as I smiled, my heart feeling so full as I walked down the pathway.

Kayla’s POV

“Ya’ll are up to something,” I said hearing Trin and Cameron laughing as Jimmy was guiding me around by the arm.  “Just go with it,” I heard Jimmy say as I laughed.

“You would say that, you and Trin into that kinky shit,” I said as Trin laughed. “So are you and Jey don’t even front,” Cameron said I smiled.

“I’ll never kiss and tell,” I said as Trin snickered. “Hell, you ain’t gotta tell, we heard ya’ll last night when we were heading our room ma’am,” Trin said as I blushed.

“Ok, we’re moving two steps to the left wit yo blushin’ ass,” Jimmy said as I laughed holding on to his arm.

“Oh, it smells nice out here,” I said feeling a small breeze.

Nervously, I braced myself as I felt the blindfold being taken off. I shook away my blurry vision trying to focus on what was before me.

“Oh, my god,” I gasped in shock as I saw Jey standing in a the center of a heart, made of rose petals, in front of the words “Marry Me” Instantly my heart began to beat wildly against my chest as he smiled brightly and at me holding a single rose in his hand.

Guess what I did today

Those were the words I said to you

It was last may, dont know the exact day

In my hand there was a ring

“Oh my god,” I whispered overwhelmed as I looked over to the side and saw Case singing standing beside Joe and Robin.

“Surprise,” Joe whispered smiling at me as shook my head in disbelief. They really did all this.

“What you waitin’ on sis, go to him,” Robin whispered as I nodded moving in a daze down the beautiful path.

Then you told me that you loved me

More than anything in your life

So I asked you would you do me

The honor of being my wife

Jey’s POV

My heart skipping a beat as Kayla came closer, I knew this was what I wanted more than anything in life. “Bout time you got down here,” I whispered taking her hand in mine, pulling her close as she tried to hide her tears.

“I know right, sorry to keep you waiting,” she laughed lightening the mood as I nodded wiped her tears truly entranced by her beauty.  

“I’d wait forever if I had to.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s you and you’re the one for me,” I answered honestly as she smiled accepting the rose. Now all I needed her to do was to accept my proposal.

Yes I will

I will be your man

Your protector, your best friend

Till my humble life is ended

And time begins again, couldn't we be happily ever after?

“Are you sure?” she whimpered as I slowly kneeled before her. “Never been more sure of anything in my life, Kay. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“Yea?” She asked still in shock, as I nodded, my own unshed tears beginning to fall as Kayla caressed my face. The loving action alone calmed my racing heart even as I melted into her touch.

“Yes, I want you to be my wife.”

“Then ask me, Joshua” she whispered wiping my tears. God, I love when my name from her beautiful lips.

Take you for my wife

The center of my life

And I will never, ever fade

From this choice I made, oh

Couldn't we be happily ever after?

“Three years ago, you found me, and you healed me from the inside out, Kay.  You taught me how to love, and every day with you is another chance for me to show you just how much I love you. I know one that I don’t want to do this thing called life without you by my side.”

“I don’t either,” Kayla cried as I released the breath I was holding, pulling the ring box out of my pocket, and opening it.

 Couldn't we be happily ever after

See today, I wanna make you my wife...

We could be strong together for so long

“I love you so much Kayla, will you marry me?” I asked as she nodded.

“Yes! Yes, I’ll marry you. I love you so much,” she gasped, leaning down brushing her lips across mine as I felt the world melt away. My arms enclosing around her waist cherishing the moment.

“Am I gettin’ a new sister-in law or what?! I ain’t seen you put no ring on her finger,” Jimmy yelled as we laughed.

“She said yes!” I shouted, finally sliding the tear cut diamond on her finger. Kayla never once looked at her ring, her eyes never left mine.

Smiling brightly, I stood up as she jumped into my arms, our lips once again found each other as we shared a deep kiss. The thunderous applause and cheering seemed so far away as we got lost in each other.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Couldn't we be happily ever after

“You didn’t even look at your ring, babe,” I whispered caressing her face, as I placed her back on the ground as she smiled, finally looking down at her ring.

“Babe,it’s perfect babe, I love it,” she whispered as I smiled.

“I know you don’t like big and flashy so I went with the tear cut, I was hoping I got it right,” I said nervously as she grasped my hands.

Kayla’s POV

“I didn’t mean to not look at the ring, I just couldn’t stop lookin’ at you. I didn’t want to miss it,” I whispered as Jey caressed my hands. “Miss what baby?” he asked as I smiled trying to find the right words to say.

“How you looked at me like I was the only girl in the world…… Everything you said to me, I wanted to remember it all,” I said trying to keep my emotions in check but failing once again.

“You are the only girl in the world for me,” he whispered wiping my tears.

“Josh, I’m not marrying a ring; I’m marrying you-” My world a mere whisper as he nods, tasting my lips once again.

The cheering of our family and friends long forgotten as it seemed and felt like we were the only two people in the world. Truthfully, I was so happy they allowed us to be just that in this moment.

I was engaged…Holy shit…

Danielle’s POV

I knew what I said, and I didn’t mean to pry but I had called the restaurant while Regina and I were nearby to see if they had a reservation available. I got no answer at first but as we arrived at the restaurant someone finally answered.

They told me that the whole restaurant was closed for a private party, and they would reopen tomorrow night at their regular time.

As Regina and I were trying to look up another place to eat at out of my peripheral I saw Joe and Robin come outside. They met someone and instead of going back through the front they all ducked around back. As my sister called her husband back, I quietly followed them.

Imagine my surprise to see this lavish set up, realizing Jey was proposing to Kayla. I stayed quietly tucked away in a huge bush watching everything unfold.

“What the hell is you doin’?” Regina whispered, peaking over my shoulder as I shushed her. My heart dropping with each confession of love Jey bestowed upon Kayla.

“You really out here hidin’ in bushes…Bitch you done lost it,” she said as I put my hand over her mouth.

“Damn, do you want them to know we’re here,” I sighed removing my hand as we quietly watched Jey propose.

Watching everyone so happy for them gutted me. Alright, enough of this we shouldn’t be here let’s go Regina snapped leading me away from the happy scene.  The silence killing me as she dragged me down the street.

“You can let me go now,” I said as we got closer to the ship.

Can I really Danielle, I mean you out here followin’ people and hidin’ in fuckin bushes,” she said finally letting my hand go, continuing to walk as I stopped.

“What you gotta say?” I asked, seeing her head shake as she continued to walk, pissing me off even more. Always so judgmental.

“Stop fuckin’ walking and talk to me! I yelled as she stopped and turned to face me.

"Fine, we can talk, but I’m done with talkin’ to you with the kid gloves.”

"What the fuck does that mean?”

“Danielle, after all of that you just saw, do you still think you have a chance with Jey? Like how do you not see how much Jey loves that girl,” she said as her words hit me like a ton of bricks.

“I know that,” I whispered defeatedly, really shocking myself that I said it. Regina’s face softened as her phone rang but she sighed, hitting ignore.

“I ain’t in the mood Joe” she whispered as I scoffed watching her text him. “You judging me, but Joe is calling you? Wouldn’t surprise me if ya’ll are still fuckin’” I said as she slapped me.

“First off Joe is happily married, and I don’t play that shit of sleeping with men that are taken. We’re friends and have been friends since college, don’t play with me Danielle” she hissed as I rubbed my face.

“I know and I’m sorry-” I started as her phone ranging interrupted us once again.

“Hey….Joe, I already told you that I took care of it. We’re almost back at the ship, ya’ll just enjoy your night and tell Robin I said hello,” she said before hanging up.

“So, he saw us?”

“Girl, Joe clocked you the minute you followed him and Robin. He ain’t dumb, that’s why he was near the bush.”

“There really is no hope, is it?” I whispered as Regina shook her head. “No there isn’t,” she said as I broke down.

I was so wrapped in the money, that I never took the time to really love him,” I started as Regina cut me off.

“Look, I don’t mean to hurt you, but all of that is water under the bridge now. You’re beating a dead horse, Jey has moved on and you should do the same,” she said as we stood in silence.

I knew she was right, and I knew what I had to do.

I had to let him go……I played myself, and I had nobody to blame but myself.  I hate to admit it but I’m happy Jey found someone to love him.  He deserved it…We all did.

---

Later that night

Jey and Kayla’s Suite

Kayla’s POV

“Mmm, babe, where are we going,” I gasped feeling him throbbing even harder inside me as he carried me to the shower on the balcony.

I know the neighbors are tired of us, because it’s been on and poppin’ ever since we arrived back.

We couldn’t get enough of each other; clothes were scattered everywhere and the bed a mess as he made me cum again and again bending to his will as.

I ain't afraid to drown

If that means I'm deep up in your ocean, yeah

Girl, I'll drink you down

Sipping on your body all night

“Fuck!” I moaned, my back pressed against the shower wall, legs wrapped around Jey’s waist and my fingers entangled in his hair. His primal thrusts and growls set my body ablaze as he sucked on my neck.

 I just wanna take your legs and wrap 'em 'round

Girl, you coming right now

My head to your chest feeling your heartbeat, girl

Swimming all in your sea, and you sweating all over me

Bring it forward, don't you run, run

“Mmhm, I didn't forget, I always keep my promises. Now tell me again, what’s today?” he moaned as his back took the brunt of the steaming hot water as it cascaded over us, our cries of pleasure filled the still of the night as he went deeper.

“It’s my birthday!” I exclaimed as Jey grasped my throat, taking me in a scorching kiss as my vision began to blur, fuck, I was close.

I don't want to be a minute man

Baby, you're just like a storm raining on me

Girl, you're soaking wet, whoa-whoa

“Yes, it is, and you deserve the world,” Jey moaned against my lips as his pace begins to quicken even more as I pulsed around him, clawing at his back as he growled going even deeper as my legs began to quiver.

“Fuck, my birthday girl about to cum, ain’t you beautiful?”  He groaned as I nodded, unable to speak.

“Tell me Kay, how does my birthday girl want to cum?” he moaned as I groaned at his question, now meeting his thrusts with equal desperation.

I'ma kiss it right, yeah, yeah

I'm gon' lick all night, yeah, yeah

Girl, when I'm inside, yeah, yeah

Yeah girl, you heard what I said

I'm gonna make you wet the bed (bed), bed (bed), bed (oh)

“Mmmhm, that’s it, you can do it baby.”

“Baby! Oh, baby! I screamed as Jey soothed me, caressing my face as we chased our end together, his eyes never leaving mine as we moved in sync.

“Mmm, shit!” I gasped as I braced one of my arms against the tile for leverage, the other holding on to his neck for dear life as I began bouncing harder on his dick.

 “Yeeaa, get dat dick,” he gasped, grasping my hips, beginning to thrust harder as I screamed. Intense sharp tingles shot through my body overwhelming me as he swallowed my cries with his lips.  Our kisses igniting an even deeper passion.

You don't know what you're in for

'Bout to get inside your mental, huh

Bend ya back like it's limbo

I'ma make you feel like a nympho

Tonight, oh-whoa, you're mine, baby girl, oh

 “Mmhm, dats it......Ride dat shit… Fuuuckk…. You my lil rider ain’t you?” he asked, his words making me even wetter.

“Yes! I’m your lil rider!” I cried as he growled in appreciation.

“Mmhm, I know you are baby......... Now tell Daddy, do you wanna cum on his dick….. Or in his mouth,” he whispered against my lips as I pulsed tighter around him.

I was turned on beyond belief as Jey himself was vying very hard to keep his eyes open as we climbed our mountain of pleasure together.

As the minutes passed we became even more lost in each other. “Answer me, Kayla, how do you want Daddy to please you?” Jey rasped as I moaned in appreciation at his eagerness.

“Oouu, fuck! I want to cum on both, Daddy!” I cried, his eyes snapping open in shock at my request. A primal growl escaped his lips as he swiftly gripped me under my thighs bouncing me with ease on his dick as I screamed in ecstasy.

“Who am I to deny the birthday girl,” he whispered, his strokes powerful and deliberate as I clawed at his neck, our lips meeting once again in a deep kiss.

“Mmm, cum for me,” he moaned releasing my lips as I fell apart in his arm as he held me tight.

“I’m cummin! Jey, fuck!” I gasped as my orgasm overtook me. “Fuck yea, squirt on dat dick……… It feels good don’t it?” he groaned as I whined against his lips.

“Yes! Ohhh, fuck yes! Mmm,” I moaned as I felt Jey’s hands grip my hips tighter.

“Fuck, I love you,” he groaned as he met his end, stilling inside me as his body trembling against mine.  

 “Mmm,I love you too,” I whispered collapsing against his shoulders totally spent as Jey reached over and turned off the shower.

My second request far from my brain as I tried to gather myself and recover, but it wasn’t lost upon Jey. 

Jey’s POV

 “One more to go birthday girl,” I whispered lifting her up further, wrapping her legs around my shoulders as she gasped in shock. “One more?” she gasped as I smirked.

 “Uh-huh, I’m givin’ my birthday girl what she asked for, now keep dem eyes on me,” I whispered, slowly and teasingly tasting her soaking wet lips, savoring her addictive taste. 

Any time you want it, I'm ready and willing, girl, to give it

I start to lick your body, you go to trembling

Flip it around, girl, lemme get it from the side

And can I visit all those spots you like?

Your neck, your back, your sexy lips, booty and thighs

“Jey!” She moaned grabbing the shower head above us as I pleased her. “I owe you one, cum for Daddy one more time baby,” I moaned as her hungry lust-filled eyes rolled back in her head.

“Shit!.....Hmm, happy birthday to me,” she gasped moving her hips against my tongue as I held her in place. Her pussy trembling against my mouth as I lapped up her juices, making sure to leave no part of her untouched as she rode my face, chasing her next nut.

I had never seen a more beautiful sight than what was before me. Kayla’s legs trembling, her head thrown back in pleasure as she gripped the shower head, rocking her hips against my mouth.

 “Mmhm, use me baby,” I moaned as I nipped at her clit, her gasps anxious and needy as I was relentless devoured her pussy with my mouth.

“Oh my God!” She gasped as I stilled her hips, swirling my tongue around her clit. “Jey, I’m....Again," her voice fading as her whole body began to shake as her orgasm hit her strong.

“I know, and I want it all.…. And.. I… Mean… Every….Single… Drop,” I groaned welcoming her essence.

 “Mmm, drink it all, Daddy! Fuck!”She cried, her hips continuing to writhe against my mouth as her orgasm washed over her for the third time tonight.

The sounds of her heavy breathing and moans were music to my ears as she smiled shyly down at me trying to catch her breath.

I'ma kiss it right (oh-oh), yeah, yeah

I'm gon' lick all night (oh-oh), yeah, yeah (girl, when I'm inside and I get to ya)

Girl, when I'm inside, yeah, yeah

Yeah girl, you heard what I said

'Cause I'm gonna make you wet the bed (bed), bed (bed), bed (oh)

I'm gonna make you wet the bed (bed), bed (bed), bed (oh)

“Thank you for your cooperation, you tasted so good,” I moaned kissing her thigh as she ran her fingers through my wet hair.

“No, thank you.” she whispered as I reluctantly I placed her back on the ground as she held the wall to steady herself.

I couldn’t help but smirk at my handy work.

“You think anybody heard us?” she asked as I chuckled. “I don’t care if they did.  I told you the first day what was gon’ happen on this balcony before this trip was over and I meant that shit,” I said as she blushed.

“Are we really engaged?” she whispered, still in somewhat disbelief looking at her finger as I smiled brightly at her. “Yes, we are engaged baby, and I can’t wait to make you my wife, “I whispered gently kissing her on the lips.

 “I can’t wait either…….Thank you for making my birthday special,” she said caressing my beard as I smiled.

 “Thanks for lovin’ me,” I said truthfully honored to have her in my life.

I knew it wasn’t going to be sunshine and rainbows every day, but I knew I couldn’t wait to do this thing called life with Kayla by my side.

 I knew we could make it through anything as long as we had each other, and I couldn’t wait for the next chapter in our lives.

The end

@reci24 @southerngirl41 @vebner37 @jeyusos-girl

@melaninsugababy @romanreignkisser @bebesobrielo

@arination99 @2-muchsauce @bakugoumarianawrites

@empressdede @alyyaanna @christinabae @anonandwannakeepitthatway @venusesworld @jeyusosgirl  @theninthwonder @mya2real  @justazzi @whatdoeseverybodywant @reignsboy19 wooahmiri alichesmi pytbgeezy @ superpietom 

@truefant4sy

[starzzmissthesun]

drop the bartylus song explanations bestie (pls pls plssss plsplss)

Hiiii!!!! Sorry this a little late I've been a little busy the past couple days! This ones definitely gonna be a long one, but i might skip a few songs, so if their are any other ones you'd like to hear about lmk!! Some of these i associate with one of them in particular rather than both. The relation to them and the song is not necessarily what i interpret the song as, but just how it fits and relates to them!!! (also guys dont judge me for the music taste)

Trees-Mcafferty

So this one is very much like catholic/religious guilt, but is even just like being in a family and culture (like the purebloods, like the blacks) that is very very homophobic and strict. The first verse says "my mom was a christian, my dad is an alchie, i bet that he kills me", this to me is very regulus in the whole, walburga being someone who was brought up in a strict and 'be perfect' way, which she then puts onto her kids. And orion someone who is way harder on them, no room for repenting, just damnation. Though they both could represent this song, for they both had such controlling and strict home lives. I feel like it also, especially towards the ends of the song, talks about being different and "wrong" and a freak, feeling just so outcasted and trying to fit in, but never being able to.

If I Saw Him, Id Still Kiss Him-Mcafferty

This is veryyyy Barty's POV after Regulus died. It describes a house filled with ghosts and memories. Barty wishing they ran away instead "Lets go to italy, just you and me, i think wed really like it there", thinking that maybe regulus wouldnt have had the fate he did if they left the whole war behind. It describes the depression and loss of self/hope throughout the rest of this war. The verse from "took a picture of a picture" to "Get to New York for the sunsets" to me, describes how regulus had a different relationship to him than anyone else. I mean this song to me is especially sad if you think of it as they never really got together it was just an almost/what if?

Blue Eyes Like The Devils Water-Mcafferty

This is another Barty POV song to me, but its overall just a description of them being in bad situations and them falling for each other was just making everything better and worse at the same time. This shows how they were kind of raising themselves, both parents ignoring them so long as they do what theyre supposed to. It's just the two of them kind of deal.

The Lions Den-Mcafferty

Another song about them going down together, Barty POV again too. He sees Regulus falling more and more into this dark obsession and going down together. I especially think of the lions den as The Cave, especially in a Barty went with him Au. Him watching regulus getting pulled down everywhere, in his dreams, in real life, hallucinations. "I still remember his eyes on mine" The guilt consuming him, wishing he went with him too. Going crazy because of it "Let me break, let me slip to the bottom of this hill, let my body fall into the pit, into the lions den" and "this is just a bad dream, everybody wakes up soon" convincing himself its not real, that one day hell wake up and regulus will be ok, so everything is. Or the "waking up" is death, he wishes to fall under the water aswell, to die, to be at peace with regulus.

Alligator Skin Boots-Mcafferty

This song is regulus when he's had his change of mind, when he's decided to sacrifice. It starts with him kind of comparing himself to his parents and their complacency and their being messed up. Then from "Im cold to the touch" to then end, is him in the cold waters dying, for his friends who are now in the order, and hoping the others will be safe once the war is over, too.

Pine Point-PUP

Ok so this ones very special to me for them! To me, its them both looking at each other as they go their own way once they've lost each other in the war. "where i kept my eye on the prize, it was you" Barty going crazy after loosing reg, Regulus seeing barty get more and more into the death eater stuff right as he is changing his mind. They have such a intertwined history and memories. Now they're both praying they're doing right for the other, and that the other is doing something right. Bonus points for this song: mentions of loosing an older brother, also just like an awesome breakdown riff.

Just gonna saying im not gonna go into the pheobe bridgers ones rn cause soo many of her songs are them (specifically reg's pov in my mind) but if anyone wants me to, lmk.

Geyser-Mitski

This is the yearning for your best friend song!!! Like just being like, "is this not enough? i have everything, yet i still want to be more with you" To me, its so them cause of the "ive turned down every hand that has beckoned me" cause i think they never would even consider being with anyone else, its JUST the other for them. And also "I will be the one you need, i just cant be without you" is their obsession and need to be with eachother, and the way they idolize each other, the need to be congruent. The whole song just describing a love so strong it builds up inside you, it calls to you, but pushing it down ruins you from the inside out.

Old friend-Mitski

This is in a scenario where they've broken up(which would never be by their choice imo). Idk i feel like if they ever broke up, itd be similar vibes to these lines: "I havent told anyone, just like we promised, have you?" "everytime i drive through the city where youre from i squeeze a little" "Ill take anything you give me". Do you see the vision?? Drowning mention too!!! It's more of a mentally/emotional drowning(like in depression/insanity, etc). in my mind the "someone whos loves me now, better than you" would be less of a literal statement, and more of a hope or a wish. Like they each would be unable to be together because they each have to be with a person who is "better" for them, since they enable each other to be really themselves. It's denial that they actually want the love the other gives.

Me and my husband AND two slow dancers-Mitski

Literally regulus as he's drowning in the cave. He's remembering barty, all of their shared memories, and praying that theyll "stick together" like they always have. Two slow dancers, maybe his afterlife. Or his last thoughts that lull him to "sleep". In the chaos of the hands and air squeezing out of his lungs, hes brought back to a memory of them. They both wish they could go back to before the whole mess, "to think that we could stay the same" hes criticizing himself for hoping the two of them could join this war and stay as they were.

I will-Mitski

ok, picture me this: regulus lives AU!! Maybe Barty went with him, or found him, or reg goes to him after the cave, but nonetheless!!! He's weak, hes scared for defecting, theyre both at odds. But all Barty can do is take care of him, and reassure his fears, though he, himself, is feeling those as well. Just like listen to the lryics:(((

Crack Baby-Mitski

This is Regulus watching Barty get more and more obsessive over Voldemort, as he's slowly doing the opposite. Reg knows Barty doesn't notice and doesn't know why he craves this approval, but Regulus does, he can tell. "With wild horses running through your hollow bones" that father figure voldemort is to barty is something he need so bad, its unstoppable. Just like that, dark magic, the murder. He caught a taste of it, and he can't go back.

Once more to seeyou- Mitski

(starts shaking) They can't be seen together, not just the homophobia of the time, and pretentiousness of their families, but their families hating each other. "but with everybody watching us, our every move, we do have reputations" GOD tell me that's not them!! They are both in such "important" families, for two opposing beliefs, that taught them they must hold themselves to high expectations to keep up the family name. Everyone's eyes are on them both!!! Rumours start easy!!! "and felt the taste of you bubble up inside me" Having so much love for each other, but having to hide it!!! It destroys you!!! Having to hide your emotions and wants not just in public, but to your family as well, and just wanting and yearning for the fairytale domesticity!!!

Im your man-Mitski

Everyone's like, this is barty to reg. NO!!! Its regulus to barty!!! REGULUS was the one who grew up in the pureblood culture/beliefs, he might've been the one to convert barty, to introduce him to it. i could quote the entire song, but i wont... BUT!! This is, to me, Regulus towards the end of his life. He's changed his mind, and now he sees how he destroyed Barty, how he guided him to voldemort, and told him all of his beliefs. How, in his old, skewed view of the world, he was "turning" barty away from what he now saw as the right way. He wishes barty chose someone else, who wouldnt've done that. And now, standing at the edge of the water, he can feel his death, his fate coming close. He knows that it was his choice to be so horrible. And now, after leading barty astray, hes leaving him there, hes betraying not only voldemort, but the love of his life.

The frost-Mitski

Barty's all alone. All of his friends are dead, his family is gone, regulus is missing and betrayed him. "youre my best friend, now ive no one to tell, how i lost my best friend" he not only lost regulus, he lost the only person who would truly know how he feels about it. He feels resentful towards regulus, not for betraying him, but that he was never told!! did he forget? did he think he wouldnt understand? Did something change? Did nothing change and he never really knew Regulus like he thought he did? Should he have seen it coming, but he was to busy pretending everything was ok? "but me, i was hiding, or forgotten"

Heaven-Mitski

Either one of them POV reminiscing over the last time they were together, regulus before his death, and barty after regulus' death. Equating their love to heaven, the love they have for eachother is religious. Very love song by LDR. Both sensing their fate coming near, the calm before the storm. Regulus knows hes going on a self sacrificing mission, and barty knows his mind is unraveling quicker and quicker as the days go on.

When memories snow-Mitski

"and if i break, could i go on break? be back in my room, writing speeches in my head" Barty is crazed with guilt, hes breaking. Hes replaying the last conversation, moment, argument, touch, glance, anything he had with regulus. Looking for anything different he could have done instead that wouldve changed the outcome. His memories are mixing together, he cant remember what actually happened and when. Those memories snow and they obscure his view of reality.

Early sunsets over monroeville-MCR

STOP!!! Barty is grieving!!!! "running away and hiding with you, i never thought theyd get me here." him staying down low enough that he wasnt suspected to be a DE, he ran away from his dad to be a DE. He thought they could never find him, and now his soul is close to being taken from him, til hes nothing. all he has left are jumbld memories. "but would anything matter if youre already dead? and should i be shocked by the last thing you said?" The betrayal means nothing, for regulus is dead, who is he supposed to be mad at? and maybe he shouldve seen it coming, maybe there were signs. He can never go back. "and in saying you loved me made things harder at best, and these words changing nothing as your body remains" Regulus loving him makes the hurt only worse, and admitting that to himself hurts even more. No matter any scenario in which he said something different, where he begged regulus not to go, or that hed leave with him, or they never joined in the first place matter, because regulus is still dead, his body is still at the bottom of that lake.

Living legend-Lana Del Rey

This is Regulus POV!!!! He worships Barty, he idolizes him. "..all the things you do, and the ways you move, send me straight to heaven." He regrets never telling Barty just how much he loved him, and he regrets having to betray him "and darling i never meant to defy you" This is set to me, once again, once hes changed his mind and is going on his mission. "I never meant to be bad or unwell, i was just lving on the edge right between heaven and hell, and im tired of it." trying to balance how he feels about barty once hes switched beliefs, he still is utterly devoted to barty and loves him, but they now have these huge opposing beliefs. and he cant help but blame himself. That part right after the last chorus that is just "why?" over and over and over again.

Mojo Pin-Jeff Buckley

This song is literally describing still feeling your lover there, long after they are gone, and feeling conflicted about how you should feel. "Dont want to weep for you, dont want to know" maybe barty is conflicted, he doesnt want to know what happened to reg or why, he knows he wont like the answer. he doesnt want to accept regulus is gone, and he doesnt want to accept why hes gone. "oh the welts of your scorn. my love, give me more, send whips of opinion down my back, give me more" Barty has now changed his mind, he realizes that he would rather know, he would rather regulus had gave him reason, then he couldve gone with him, and maybe he wouldnt be dead. As long as he's still getting something tangible from his lost lover.

Oh my GOD!!! go listen to ghost of you by My Chemical Romance, every single lyric is barty after regulus died, im not doing this one, cause id have to to just say every line, but PLEASE look at the lyrics and think of them!!! JUst some of the lines are: "if i died wed be together", "all the things that you never ever told me", "ever get the feeling that youre never alone?", "And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me" like please somebody help barty!!!

Yours, mine, hours-mcafferty

So, first of all, this song switches from regulus' POV to barty's at the lyric "and i wrote all of my songs..." just to be clear. Regulus wants to be the perfect son for his family, and he takes it too far in the process. "and you are innocent, at least you wish you finally were, you gotta keep your head up, but not too high, cause youll lose sight of what youve got" He doesnt realize barty is in the DE stuff just as deep as himself until hes changed his mind. "and im sorry, my love, that i ruined what we had" hes betraying barty, hes abandoning them. Then every line from bartys POV is just perfect. "he says 'i miss my brother, but hes not coming home, and i know that hes better, so its tie to grow up'." i mean COME ON? "you were my best friend, so i will love you 'til the very, very end" They both have so much guilt and regret and have wronged each other, but they still cant bring themselves to hate each other.

Anyways! im done for now!!! but if anyone wants my thoughts about them (about anything really) in relation to a song lmk!!it doesnt have to be angsty! also sorry if this is long and doesnt make sense:/

[ashyx]

"I miss you more than life itself, my love"

xanthus lost you over 20 years ago, but now, he bumped into someone who looks exactly like you.

(His pov)

It constantly feels like I'm in hell. It's been 20 years, but it felt like yesterday when I lost the one person who made me want to continue living, to value my life, and to make sure I wake up the next day. It feels like yesterday when I held their lifeless, bloodied, and cold body in my arms. Ever since that day, ever since our bond disappeared, the world just felt so...dull. it felt so empty, so cold. I miss their warmth, I miss their beautiful, bright smile, I miss waking up and sleeping next to them, I miss us. If I were to given the choice to lose the world or to get the love of my life back, I would gladly watch the whole world burn with my love back my arms, because the world is meaning less without my love.

It was one of those days where dontis would force me to take a walk around the city. He insisted that it was for my own good, to finally feed, but even if I tried, I couldn't. The taste of another person's blood on my tongue tasted absolutely disgusting. Dontis took me to a nearby beach. It was windy, and it was sundown. It reminded me of my love. I closed my eyes and let the scene in front of me sink in, letting my brain remind me of all the times me and my love could have had together. The sound of the waves hitting the shore every second, the wind hitting my body, the smell of the ocean, God, they would've loved this.

"I have a good feeling they would've loved this place," dontis said, breaking the silence, making me open my eyes. I couldn't bare to stay here any longer, not when I had the privilege to hear and admire this scenery and my love couldn't. "This was a stupid idea. Let's just go, " I said as I turned back to return to the place we came from. Dontis tried to reason with me, to let me stay, but I didn't want to. I was too caught up in my own thoughts that I didn't even notice that someone else was behind me, causing us to bump into each other. "I apologize, I didn't mean to–" my sentence was cut short when I lifted my head to see who I've collided with. It was my deceased love, staring back at me with those soft, beautiful eyes with a smile that could've lit up the whole room.

They were beautiful. "...love?" I whispered out, feeling hot tears forming in my eyes along with the lump in my throat. It didn't take long for dontis to catch up with me, and he looked just as shocked as I was "I'm sorry..?" The person in front of me said, visibly confused and concerned. They sounded just like them, too. "Xanthus. You're scaring them, " dontis said, holding onto my shoulder. I was analyzing their face, trying to find anything that proved my love was just right in front of me, but that was when I saw it. A birthmark, underneath their bottom lip. It had felt like my heart had been ripped out of my body. It wasn't my love. "I–I'm sorry. I thought you were... someone I knew." I managed to choke out as dontis began to lead us back to his place.

It's been 20 long, agonizing years since I lost them, but it was only until now that I realized, no matter how much I wish for my love to be back, no matter how much I've played back all our memories in my head, my love was gone. For good. I've had absolutely nothing to lose now.

A/n: FINALLY DONE WITH MY FIRST FIC!! It's been in my drafts for a while, so i decided to finish it up now. sorry if it's bad, I tried my best🥹. This is my very first fic ever, so please be nice. Also keep in mind that English isn't my first language, so I hope you'll excuse my bad grammar. 🙏🙏

[lucy90712]

Could you write something with Pedri? 🥺 Pedri and the reader had a relationship in the past, but counts on Pedri's mistakes they ended up separating. One night they meet in a nightclub and Pedri is jealous of her with another. So he tries reconcillation

WC: 2.0k

Pedri's POV

Breakups are never fun and most of the time they hurt but usually after a while you move on and find someone new or at least normal people do. However nearly two years on and I still haven't got over y/n. The worst part about it all is that I broke up with her so my pain is all my own fault. The two of us began dating not long after I moved to Barcelona and for a few months things were great we did everything together and I was truly falling for her. At some point things changed and we started fighting a lot about stupid things really but the fights were so constant that after a while it was clear neither of us were happy so I ended things. We were both so young that staying in an unhappy relationship didn't seem worth it but now I wish we just worked through things and grew together. 

Right after the break up I missed her a lot as she was always by my side supporting me and although over the last two years this has faded sometimes I still wish she was by my side during the big moments. Going to the World Cup all I could think about was how I wished she was there to experience it all with me as we had talked about me one day hopefully making it to a World Cup while we were together. So many little things still hurt me more than I ever thought they would even all this time later. My biggest regret up to this point is definitely letting her go as she was my world and now without her I don't feel whole. 

Occasionally I still look at her Instagram as we still follow each other but with the amount of people I follow it's hard to see her pictures on my feed. Over the years she has had a few different boyfriends while I haven't been with anyone else since as no one could ever compare to her. Seeing her with other guys isn't what hurts the most though it's seeing her so happy without me that kills me every time I look at her Instagram. She always seems to be having fun with her friends and smiling, genuinely smiling too which is something I took for granted during our time together. It's torture watching her enjoy her life without me but I can't stop myself as I have to know how she is and what's she's doing even though she isn't mine anymore. 

My friends are always trying to set me up with other girls which has never worked out but they keep pushing and I already know that tonight will end up the same. Like always we will go out and they will find a girl who they think would be good for me and inevitably I won’t like her and we will go round in circles. Despite that I'm still going to go with them as we are supposed to be celebrating the end of the season and I don't want to miss out on that.

On the way to the club I picked up Gavi and as we arrived a few of the other guys arrived at the same time so we all walked in together and met with everyone else who was going. We all sat down and tried to talk for a while and I actually started to enjoy myself as I was just left alone and not forced to talk to anyone even though there was a lot of pretty girls in the club. At some point a few of the guys disappeared to go get drinks or go and talk with a group of girls but I stayed put and enjoyed my own evening celebrating with the guys that already have girlfriends. For once I was actually enjoying a night out as my mind wasn't always thinking about y/n and the stupid mistakes I made which led to me losing the girl of my dreams forever. 

My nice enjoyable night out didn't last much longer as it was ruined by Gavi coming back over laughing and getting me to look at some of the guys who were attempting to flirt with a group of girls. He clearly wasn't interested in any of them but Ansu, Balde, Ferran and Eric clearly were as even from a distance it was obvious they were trying to get these girls attention. I must admit it was funny to see them so desperate for these girl's attention even though on a normal day a few girls will willingly give them their numbers. It quickly turned to not being so funny anymore when I caught a glimpse of the girl Alejandro was flirting with. Straight away she looked familiar and then I saw that smile, a smile I could identify from a mile away. He was flirting with y/n and of course he didn't know that as I try not to bring her up too much as it hurts to talk about my mistakes but it hurts even more seeing someone else flirt with her right in front of my eyes especially one of my teammates. 

"Are you ok man?" Gavi asked 

"Umm yeah I'm good" I lied 

"Ok I know that's not true somethings bothering you just tell me what's up" he said 

"Ale's flirting with y/n" I stated simply 

"Who's that?" He asked 

"She's the girl I've mentioned that I dated when I was younger we broke up but I've regretted it ever since, she's the reason you guys can never get me to go on a date with another girl" I explained 

"Oh if I'd have known I would've stopped him flirting with her" he said 

"It's ok it was a few years ago I should really move on" I said 

"No if you still love her you should try and talk to her you never know she could still have feelings for you come on you are getting your girl back" he demanded 

Your POV

Usually on girls nights I will let loose a bit more and forget about everything going in in my life but tonight that's been harder than it usually is. For the last few days all I've seen is my ex boyfriends face plastered everywhere because his team just won la liga. For some this might be a bit annoying but they would get over it for me it's just painful. We didn't have the best end to our relationship as we just kind of gave up on each other after we went through a rough patch with fighting all the time and that's when Pedri ended things. To this day I still wish we had just been less stubborn and actually talked to each other so we could work through our issues but it's too late now. Seeing Pedri's face everywhere living his best life is what's been difficult this last week as my life has been tough. I just started a new and very stressful job and recently lost a family member and all I want to do is share my worries with Pedri like I always did when we were together. 

In an attempt to cheer myself up I've found myself letting this guy flirt with me and maybe flirting back a little. I mean I've had a few boyfriends since Pedri and I broke up but none of those relationships lasted very long as the guys either cheated on me or I got over them pretty quickly. This guy however seemed pretty nice he looked a little familiar but with the lighting in the club coupled with having drunk a bit I couldn't work out where I knew him from. As he was nice enough I didn't worry about where I knew him from as let's be honest after tonight I'm not going to see him again so why not have a bit of fun. The guy quickly told me his name was Alejandro and asked if he could buy me a drink which I couldn't say no to so we went to the bar together to get some drinks and kept chatting. I must say Alejandro was very charming but I'm not stupid I know what he really wants but for tonight I'm willing to play along as it's a bit of fun and I need more of that in my life. 

I was enjoying myself as Alejandro put a hand on my waist and pulled me a bit closer until it gave me a view over his shoulder. Straight away I locked eyes with Pedri who was coming towards me from across the room and I just panicked. I pulled away from Alejandro instantly and tried to get away not wanting to face reality but a hand grabbed mine to stop me getting too far. I didn't even need to look to know that it was Pedri's hand in mine as our hands fit together so perfectly just like they used to when we were together. As he pulled me back towards him I could smell his cologne which brought me right back to the date nights we used to have together when we would get dressed up even if it was just to go to McDonald's as we didn't have a care in the world. He continued to pull me away from the crowd as we headed towards the door and out the back of the club where there was no one else was around. 

"As much as it's nice to see you again I have to know why do we have to talk out here?" I questioned lightheartedly 

"Because I want to have a proper conversation" he said 

"So um how have you been?" He asked 

"I won't lie I could be better life's tough at the moment but I'm getting through it what about you you must be thrilled to have won the league" I said 

"Yeah it was cool but I'm going to be completely honest I kind of wish you were there to celebrate it with me" he admitted 

For a few seconds I couldn't believe what he just said. He missed me too. This whole time if we'd have just talked to each other the endless pain could've been prevented. My head was spinning with so many thoughts but I knew I needed to say something before Pedri got worried. 

"Do you miss me" was all I managed to say 

"Yeah I do I miss you constantly I always wish that we never broke up you were the one for me and I ruined it" he said 

"I miss you too nothing has been the same without you" I admitted 

"I don't want to take things too quickly and ruin them again but would you like to give things another go this time we will communicate better and work through any problems I just can't go on in life without you" Pedri said 

"I'd love to try this again with a clean slate" I said 

Both of us were beaming as we walked back into the club hand in hand. We both said goodbye to our friends before heading out of the club so that Pedri could drive me home. Neither of us needed to be out any more as we already got more than we could have ever wished for when leaving the house this evening. When we arrived back at my place together instinctively our lips found each other and we shared our first kiss in nearly two years but it was just as magical as our first if not even better as we are no longer awkward teenagers. As we want to take things slowly and do them right this time we didn't go any further but as he left Pedri promised me a second first date which only made me more excited for what's to come from our reunion. 

[ironjeonss]

I'm a fujo since 2017. I watched bl animes, bl dramas, read bl mangas, bl manhwas. I have alot ships, from kpop idols, also anime characters. I'm kagehina, kagakuro, also makoharu shipper.

I watched naruto shippuden few times with concept "too much information for a single marathon, this 2nd one i'm gonna see from another pov and learn about each characters' stories"

I once liked the final couple, i have no complain when naruto married hinata and sasuke have a daughter with sakura. It was my 20 y.o

But, as i watched naruto once again this year, this january, in my over 25 y.o, when i tried to look closely for what is happening in every chapter, when i tried to look from wider pov, when i dived deep into their conversations and monologues, i knew this is the LOVE in my vocabulary.

The momentum? When naruto begging down to raikage with helpless wish, despair, frustate. This boy whom i belive always have a way out, always have high pride so nobody look down on him, that day, that winter day when thick snow fallen, prostrated. Begging to have mercy for his 'criminal' friend.

He said, it might catch a war between villages, but whole konoha (even his other friends) just ready to kill sasuke when they needed to. Naruto had belive, but it's only him.

Even gaara had no word to say.

I was questioning 'why?'

Naruto put his pride somewhere else, for sasuke. For someone he talked with only for few months in genin era. Naruto obssession is insane. What is he trying to proof? He had a bunch of friends in village. A lot.

And after that, i have different pov.

Narusasu is LOVE for me.

Not only them as character, but their story.

I also learn more about sasuke story, his trauma, his past, his anger, his obssession, his frustation, his confussions, also his love to uchiha and itachi.

In a world full of lie (sasuke grown up with itachi's lie that he hate sasuke) sasuke needed something certain. As stubbron and strong as naruto words to never give up on him. Naruto's assurance that sasuke was not alone. Even if they have to fight, sasuke will die with him. As naruto annoyed him all the time (me myself can't even handle it he's just so annoying) but sasuke read it.

And in VOTE2, i kinda realize sasuke was never meant to kill naruto. All he did just to make himself sure. He was fighting while thinking. He was fighting while finding. He needed a certain answer. He needed an assurance. That his life no longer a lie. But maybe, if naruto words turn different, sasuke will no longer hanging his hope on naruto and killed that boy.

So, even after they lost their arms, sasuke kept asking. Because that's what was happening inside his head. He was screaming asked naruto to just give up, just let him go, as he wished naruto would say yes and he'll buried his hope on the only person he ever hang his hope to. If naruto did it, his reason will be answered completly, clearly.

He would burn konoha and every villages.

But naruto gave exactly what sasuke needed: NEVER GIVE UP ON ME

Sasuke was enough with naruto's assurance. He even planned to killed himself after the fight. He didn't need anything else. His confussion already find the answer.

Sasuke said he'd lost to naruto, but i think it means he had enough. It could be he didn't want to fight anymore, he admited naruto win this battle, he gave up.

Sooo.. what exactly i'm trying to explain why NARUSASU IS LOVE for me, that

I want a love like that. That is how i see LOVE.

To have someone who never give up on you. To have someone stand for you againts the world. To have someone trust your kindness in your worst time. To have someone who could give you assurance you'll never be alone. To have someone you can hang your hope on. To have someone that try to understand you, your fear, your pain. To have someone you can share your mind even without say a word. To have someone who not focus on your mistake but only think about how to fix it.

After watching shippuden, i started to watch season 1. And yeah of course, narusasu is not a one sided love, but maybe how they look at it kinda different.

And my last statement. Why am i falling for them? Narusasu had wives and children?

Because the way we find, we see love.

It's just different POV.

For some people also the mangaka said they're brothers, it's brotherly love, etc. No problem. Maybe what narusasu did is what brothers did.

But for me, i want a love like what naruto have to sasuke. I'm sasuke and i want my naruto. I'm a person who need assurance in life, while everything could suddenly crumbling apart.

[cat-loves-music]

Chapter One: Love of My Life

A/n: Lord this took me a loooonggggg time to get done. First I started this last year, gave up on it cuz writers block kicked my ass, recently got motivation and inspiration so I started writing again, then I accidentally deleted it. Now I finally have the first official chapter of this series completed! I should have the masterlist for it linked below so I hope you enjoy it. Beware, the angst is real for this series.

Words: 840 (it's relatively short, I feel like the other chapters will be longer)

Warnings: Angst, talks of mental health/panic attacks, mentions of family drama, ?suicide?, if there is anything else plz let me know so I'll add to it.

MASTERLIST

Y/n's POV

I never expected that I would be sitting in a new apartment without him. I could never imagine it but now I'm actually here and letting the reality sink in. It causes my stomach to churn at how unbelievable it all is.

Thinking that someone is your whole world, and having it all just flip overnight is excruciatingly painful. It feels like your heart is being ripped from your chest and some days you wish you could.

Harry and I were in love. There isn't a doubt about it, especially looking back at how amazing our life together was. We would do everything together. I would go with him on tour, he'd use this fake name for our trips to hotels, we'd go for walks together. It was always us.

Then Fine Line came out. It is an incredible piece of art, which I couldn't be prouder of him for, but then started the talks of tour. With the stress of my job and my family, I couldn’t go with him on tour. All of it was just eating me alive, to the point I wasn't okay. I couldn't burden him with all of my problems, especially not while he was so happy about going on tour and seeing his fans.

"Love, I know you've been stressed lately, so James has invited us and Adele to a getaway vacation. Would you be up to go?" Harry had asked.

"Harry, you know I can't. I would honestly love to, but there's no way I can go on vacation right now," I replied back.

He had looked at me with concerned and sad eyes. He hated seeing me like that, I know it.

I told him to go on the vacation, he'd need some time to himself before tour. He deserved it and he deserved having some time away from all of my problems dragging him down.

I could feel the rift between us growing larger, as my mental health deteriorated and the buzz of tour finally became too much. All of it was crowding my love for him, so I finally needed to speak up.

"Harry, can we talk?" I asked.

He turned to me, a worried look on his face. Something inside me feels like he knew where this was heading.

"Of course, love," Harry replied, patting the seat next to him on the couch inviting me to sit next to him. "Have a seat."

I took a deep breath and sat down next to him, my heart pounding against my ribcage.

"I love you," I stated with a shaky breath, my nerves were electricity and I had to keep myself from shaking.

Harry looked at me with furrowed brows, a slight smile on his lips, "I love you too."

One look in his eyes told me it was true, which caused my attempts to keep my shaking under control to be in vain.

"I'm not okay," I said, my voice breaking slightly as tears brimmed on the waterline of my eyes, "I can't do this to you. I can't have you watch me break. I—"

He watched me with worried eyes, his slight smile no longer there. As Harry took my hand in his, all that we could hear were my shaking breathing as I tried finishing my sentence.

I finally controlled my breathing and continued on, "You're going on tour, and I'm dealing with so much. I don't think I can handle the weight of it all, I can't hold you back from something as important as your job."

The weight of my words sunk in and I could see his heart start to break. Most of all, I could see how much his heart wishing that he could prevent what I said next.

"Y/n, I know you've been going through a lot, especially with your parents. I know that, but I can help you through this. I'll be here for you," he stated.

I sighed, my tears threatening to spill. "Your help would only do so much. I have to help myself and as much as it pains me to do this, I need to do this for myself. "

His eyes were silently pleading now, which only broke me even more as he whispered my name.

"We need to break up, Harry," I stated.

As if on cue, I could practically hear his heart shatter. Tears were blurring his vision and mine, I hated it, but it was for the best.

"Y/n please," Harry pleaded, his voice breaking, "don't do this. We can get you through this."

"Harry, I can't keep you from living your life. Your fans need you, the world needs you," I replied.

"But what about what I need?" he shot back. "I need you."

I shut my eyes, took a deep breath, and wiped away my tears before I stood up.

"Goodbye Harry."

With that, I walked out the front door to what used to be our shared home. Leaving behind the shattered heart of the love of my life.

Hope you guys enjoyed it! I have honestly no clue when I'll post next. I will try to get it done soon. If you could please comment/like/reblog, it will really help me with motivation.

Anyways, have a good day and I'll have chapter 2 up soon :)

[jessicanjpa]

Twilight Advent Calendar 2023 Event

🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲

Dec. 7 - Choose one Twilight couple (or an AU ship) and tell us about an argument they've had. How did they resolve it in the end?

I was hoping to write something new for today, but I Am Tired. So I'm going to poach a scene from SST, chapter 18, which takes place during World War II. This is the AU Volturi!Jasper fic, so Alice is having an extra bad day, but the Cullens are still in Sweden so the C/E argument is canon.

------

1942

United States

Alice POV

"No... no!"

I moaned in despair when my eyes opened and I found my fingers clenched around the broken shoulders of a human. It was a young man in a camouflage jacket with a big splash of blood soaking the front of it. I licked my lips without even thinking about it, unable to stop the shiver of pleasure that coursed through me at the heavenly taste.

Oh, what did it matter, anyway? He was already dead. Why did anything matter? I bent down for more, gulping the last dredges of hot blood, lapping up the little bit that had spilled down the side of his neck. He ran dry all too quickly. I shook the body in desperation, trying again to get another ounce of blood out of his ruined throat. I finally snapped out of it and lay my victim gently back down on the cold grass. I sat beside him in a tight ball, resting my chin on my drawn-up knees.

I didn't even remember how I had gotten here. I had burst out of the cabin when that horrid vision had struck, and I had run and run... I didn't know where I was. Not that it mattered. I didn't really have anything at the cabin worth going back to.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, looking with pity at the young man whose life I had just ended. Jasper might be doing his best to ruin both our futures, but that didn't give me the right to ruin someone else's. To end someone else... I hugged around my ribs as tight as I could, gasping deep breaths, wishing that Esme were here to comfort me. That Carlisle were here to forgive me. Emmett would tell me it was okay. Rosalie would help me clean up, help me clean myself up. Edward would help me focus my visions and go listen to people's minds to make sure we wouldn't need to move...

But they were all so far away. I had to do everything myself, as usual. But I just didn't feel like it. I sat back down beside the body. Despite the thrill of new strength that always came when I messed up and drank human blood, my body felt heavy and disjointed. Was this what it felt like when humans were tired? I let myself roll over and lie down. I closed my eyes, desperate to see something besides the corpse beside me.

Jasper wasn't doing anything right now. He was just standing still in his quarters, deep in thought. I switched to Emmett and Rosalie, but quickly pulled away to give them their privacy. That was the last thing I wanted to watch right now. But Edward was at the piano, so I eagerly focused my attention there. I watched him for a while, listening to the soothing music he was trying to compose.

I hummed along once the melody began to take shape, pretending I was perched on the back of the piano. Edward would scold me to get down and I would just stick my tongue out at him and we would laugh about it together. But his ideas about the melody kept changing, and that made the music stop and start constantly in my vision, even when he wasn't changing what his fingers did yet. The notes kept mashing together at the wrong times. I tried to stay with him, but the dissonance was too distracting. In the end, I was more agitated than before.

At least Carlisle and Esme would be there for me. They were always so calm, so kind... but this was not my day. They were actually arguing, something I rarely saw.

"I know that," Esme was saying. "But back then you didn't have a family. And bombs weren't falling back then, either. You were never in any danger before."

"Our whole world is in danger now. You know how strongly I feel about contributing when—"

"Contribute, then! We already gave the proceeds of the house to the Red Cross, and I'm sure we can do far more. What about all that artwork you have stashed away?"

"Esme," Carlisle said quietly. "This is important to me."

Esme crossed her arms tightly across her belly, looking back and forth around the room at nothing. "So you're doing this for yourself."

It took me a little while to figure out what they were arguing about: Carlisle wanted to go down into mainland Europe and find a way to do his doctor work near where the fighting was, and Esme was not having it. I had no idea how old Carlisle was, but it sounded like he had done this before, in other wars. He was telling Esme how much it meant to him to heal lots of humans in times when so many were dying and suffering, how this was often the time when groundbreaking advancements were made in the field of medicine, how sometimes the most beautiful thing about the human spirit was found in the middle of war.

Esme said that if he was going, all of them were going, and Carlisle wasn't having that. Esme also seemed worried that Emmett and Rosalie—and maybe even Edward—might do something reckless if they were anywhere near the war, to which Carlisle insisted that the war was everywhere, to which Esme stubbornly pointed out that he could serve the war effort by replacing doctors who had gone to the front lines, but Carlisle was sure it would be easier to slip under the net identity-wise posing as a civilian doctor helping out in a field hospital, and that was really what he wanted to do anyway. Esme pointed out that real soldiers didn't get to pick where they served. It went on and on.

I hated it when they argued. It was rare; they were usually so gentle with each other. Even the way they were hurting each other now was gentle. But I couldn't stop listening; I needed to know if there was any chance they would be coming back to this continent.

There had been so many times I had wanted to go ahead to the Cullens. Again and again I had decided to do it—to go to them first and then meet Jasper when he was ready. But something always stopped me. Things would look different between Jasper and me in the Family Portrait. Sometimes he wouldn't be in it at all, and Diner Day would be gone. Sometimes I would see us arguing when his eyes were still red. Sometimes I couldn't put my finger on why it was wrong; it just felt wrong. And so every time I decided to let it go and trust my visions... to trust our destiny. Maybe going to the family first would make Jasper feel too intimidated to join us. Maybe he would do it but he would be unhappy. Maybe being with the family meant I would somehow miss my only chance to find him. Waiting was hard, but I wasn't willing to risk our future, or ruin it, just so I could have what I wanted in the present.

But now that future was lost, at least as far as I could see. It felt silly and even cruel to be angry at Jasper, when he couldn't possibly have known what he was giving up, but I was. I had been so lonely, and I had waited so long for him to come to his senses and leave that miserable war, and for what? For him to sign up for the vampire army and leave me here, waiting again? Waiting forever? What was I supposed to do now? For the first time in my life, I hadn't any kind of plan, and it was a frightening new place to be. I had always been able to trust our destiny. Even without ever knowing how many years it was going to take, I had always had that happy ending to hold onto—and it really was a happy beginning, so even the waiting was bearable. What was a decade or two of loneliness compared to an eternity of love and happiness? That future had always felt more real to me than the present anyway.

But now nothing felt real.

A dark thought had been pushing its way into my mind ever since Jasper had gone to Italy. What was real, anyway? My future with Jasper had been the most real thing in my whole life. And in the end, it had been so easily lost, as easily as if the wind had changed direction and it had dissolved in a moment's breeze. It had been that fragile, after all. What else wasn't real, or was no more real than that? How many of my visions weren't going to come true? Were never going to come true in the first place?

It wasn't that I doubted my gift. Little confirmations every day reminded me that I had this unusual power to see things. Thing as small as red tulips around the corner and as big as a second world war. The fact that those visions could change and even disappear didn't mean those futures were any less real, or hadn't been.

But the big ones, the ones that had been dropped into my hands to show me my destiny—Jasper's face the minute I had woken up. Diner Day. The Family Portrait. I had never had any tangible confirmation that those things were real, and yet I always clung to them as if everything else was just a mist of lesser possibilities. What if those visions were lost now because they had never been real in the first place? They hadn't come like my smaller visions had come, based on decisions. Maybe they were so different because... I shook my head, unwilling to think it. But it came anyway: maybe I had needed them to be real. Needed something to believe in.

Were Carlisle and Esme really arguing right now? Were they really in their little blue rented house in Sweden at this moment? Did they even exist... anywhere?

Maybe I was just crazy. I had woken up in a hospital gown, after all. For all I knew, I had lived in a mental asylum all my life. Maybe the fact that some of my visions came true wasn't enough to prove that I hadn't seen exactly what I had needed to see when I had woken up alone and afraid. Maybe I was just remembering a long chain of dreams I had had as a human. Maybe Jasper and my family were just characters in a lovely story I had been telling myself all this time, and the world really was just as cold and gray as it felt now. I didn't think I could face a world like that.

Carlisle and Esme's argument was winding down. They were full of murmured apologies now for some of the things they had said. They clung to each other and decided together that for now, they would do nothing. Then they stopped talking and just held each other. Esme's face was pressed into Carlisle's shoulder and Carlisle laid a slow, tender kiss on her hair...

I realized all at once that I was snuggled up to the corpse, pressing my face into its bloodied shoulder, hugging it tight around the chest. I scrambled away with a whimpering cry, swiping at the half-dried blood that stuck to my face like stubborn tears.

Esme, I thought desperately. You have to be real. I NEED you to be real.

And then I was running.

-----

(Anyway, Esme won that argument in the end; Carlisle sat out World War II.)

🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲 🌲 🌲 🌲 🌲 🌲

You can find all of the #twilightadvent23 prompts here!

[thewritersaddictions]

The Adults- Steddie: Together Forever

Pairing: King!Steve Harrington x King!Eddie Munson

Pov: 3rd pov

Warnings: Forced Marriage, swearing, opposites attract, falling in love, fluff, smut, 18+, parental abuse,

Summary: From different kingdoms, they're forced to marry each other for soldiers, land, and money.

A/n- firefly-graphics for dividers.

WC- 3.3k

Main Master List // Stranger Things Master List // The Adults Master List

“But Father I don’t..” Steve tries. His father cuts him off rudely. “I don’t give a rats ass what you want, or what you don’t want to do. This is for the kingdom and for the health and well-being of our people.” Steve’s father shouts out. Steve stands his ground but doesn't fuss back to his father. The whole of the kingdom can hear whenever Prince Steve had royally pissed off his father the king. His mother said nothing as she watched her husband and son argue over what would happen with the kingdom they had fought for. 

“Now this is what’s going to happen.” Steve fathers starts. “You are going to marry the neighboring kingdom, heir to the throne. We will have a grand wedding, and when that’s over you will go on honeymoon together. You will not under any circumstances ruin this for your mother and I. Do you understand?” The question wasn’t really a question. Rather a demand that the words be followed to the dot and cross. Steve nodded his head. 

How he was supposed to argue with his father. The court was sure to be clear of anything but guards. But there wasn’t arguing, fighting with his father nor his mother. His father's word was it. “Good now you best be getting ready. We have a wedding to attend tomorrow.” Steve can’t run away, he can’t manage the strength as he walks to his room. He can’t come up with a plan, there’s no creative getaway. No climbing out through his window, and running away into the dark forest. He had never been to the neighboring kingdom. Never really been anywhere else besides court, and speical events that his father and mother forced him to go be apart of. 

On the other side of a different kingdom a much different conversatio was being had. “Eddie, you know that this has to happen.” Eddie the prince royal, the only child to the heir throne. A cute boy, with dark locks that made him look like a girl when he was younger. Eddie was the exact opposite of Steve. His family had made sure that he had interacted with the crowds of people out the castle walls. His mother, Queen. Hus uncle who loved his nephew with all of his heart. “Eddie I know that we all wish that things could have been different. Yet for now you’ll have to trust me that things will work out in all of our favor.” His mother said softly. Holding his hand as she sat on his bed. His mother was always sweet, even with the crown weighing down on her shoulders. The people to worry about, Eddie’s nephew took most of the stress away. So, unlike Steve. Eddie grew up with a loving, supportive, and kind mother. You wanted nothing more then to do with her child. 

“I wish I could have met her before the day of our wedding.” Eddie muttered, he had been frustresed by that fact. Something about the Harrington royal family not being ready for the Munson Royal appearance. “Oh, my sweet boy. Did I forget to tell you that you’d be marrying their son.” Eddie shook his head, “Mama, what if… I can’t be married to someone who doesn’t even know I’m a guy.” She nods her head, “Eddie… love is hard. But you find someone and you latch on to them with all your strength. You choose to love them, hold them. You will rule two kingdoms together as kings. Make a new turn for both our kingdoms.” Eddie’s mother said sweetly. “For Eddie. Just marry him, and enjoy your honeymoon phase.” Eddie looked down at his hands intertwined with his mothers. Kissing her knuckles. ‘Okay, Mama I promise.” Eddie said. 

The morning of their wedding. Eddie travels with his mother, and uncle to the Harrington Kingdom. The carriage ride is smooth. He sleeps for most of it, his mother for a short time talks with her brother. “Wayne… do you think I screw up here?” She wants an honest answer from her brother. He looks over at the young boy sleeping away even with the bumps along the road. “I think you did what was best for the kingdom. Eddie is a strong man, head-strong, and willing to do whatever you asked of him.” Wayne said to his sister. She nodded her head, and looked over at her son. 

On the opposite side of the kingdom. A tired, sleepless, worried boy wakes up with the draw of his curtains. “Prince Steve, it’s time to wake up. We need to get you ready for your wedding.” The servant is opening curtains, and at the words of WEDDING  Steve jerks up form the bed. Hand over his heart. Steve had wished that it had all been a bad dream. He didn’t wanna be here right now. He wishes, he wants to run away even now. He wishes of the things he actually dreamed of, a good partner. Loved for nothing other then the fact that they loved each other. 

“Prince Steve, are you alright?” The servant asks. Steve sahakes his head, the words of his father replying in his head. “Yes I’m just fine, francis.” Steve says. Francis comes over to his prince. Stripping out of his clothes and helping him into the bath. Steve won’t lie, not even to hismelf. Steve loved all the men that helped him with his daily tasks. Some muscular. Some tiny frame. He was interested in boys long before he was even crowned the single heir to the throne. He had a few intimate relationship with a few guys around the servant quarters. Those were ended swiftly when his father found out. “Do you know anything about the person I am to be marrying?” Steve asked Francis. “Sire, I’m not sure anyone knows beside the Queen, and King.” “Are you sure?” Steve continues, francis rolls his eyes. “Fine sire, I’ve heard that he is the most handsome prince around. Besides yourself of course. He has hair dark as the night sky, and dark eyes. He look of procliean. He is strong, but not muscular. According to most of our court, and kingdom he is the best match for you sire.” Steve doesn’t understand how someone he’s never met can be a perfect match for him. 

The wedding is put together. Eddie arrives awoken by the stopping of the carriage. “Eddie, we are here. Straighten out your clothes before we get out. Eddie’s mother murmurs to her son. Eddie tries, but his uncle ends up helping him. Straightening out a few things around his collar. His hair had been pinned up into a tight bun. Showing off his face. A beautiful smile that was here yes under weird circumstances. Regarldes Eddie, and his uncle existed first, and help their Queen out last. Sravents are quick to grab their belongings. “Alright Eds, you just stay calm now.” His uncle says to him. They are walked towards court. The King and Queen sit awaiting their arrival. “Ah nice for you arrive on time.” The king says with a booming voice that bounces off the cobblestone walls. Eddie is already on edge, and the way that the king is looking at him makes him wanna jump out and run away. He just has a bad feeling about the king. 

“Thank you for having us, now do we wish to have a wonderful wedding.” Eddie’s mother says happily. There’s a happy sly smile on the queens face for a quick second. “Yes, we are most excited for our wedding today. Let us get to the celebration.” The king says loudly. Steve is currently being rushed into his clothes. He wears his royal blues. Insignia stitched into the back of the fabric. Medals fro mthe few awards his father had gifted him. He looks good according to Francis. A knock on the door. “Prince Steve we are ready for you.” Steve sighs heavily. Francis and him lock eyes in the mirror. “I don’t want to do this Francis.” steve says confiding in his servant. Francis turn sad, and then a soft and gentle hand lands on his shoulder. “Whomever you’re marrying will have a wonderful husband. Don’t worry about anyone else but your partner. Worry about learning more about them, worry about where the heart between you lies. Most importantly ignore your parents.” Francis says the last part into Steve ear. 

Steve closes his eye are the stairs of the isle. A true to fashion wedding, he hopes and prays for something good at the end of the night. No fighting with his father in front of all of court, and his new partner. When he opens his eyes it’s his mother latching her arms into his. “Mother?” She nods her head, “I’ve come to walk you down the isle. You deserve some sort of support today Steven.” His mother wasn’t here most of the time, off in a land in her mind. The tears brimmed at his lash line. His mother quick to wipe them away. “Don’t cry, smile Steven.” The doors open and the eye contact is strong with every one is looking, staring at Steve as he walks down the isle with his mother. 

He hasn’t dared to make eye contact with whomever is looking at him from the stairs ahead of him. He doesn’t even look when his mother lets him go with a kiss on his cheek. The ceremony happens rathe quickly. The shoes, the black shoes gave his heart a spark of hope. The long pant legs gave his heart a jump. The handsome, small face gave steve so much fucking hope that when the question was asked he didn’t wait for a few mere seconds of thought “Do you Steve Harrington take this man to be your lawful husband in health, and sickness until death do you part?” “Yes.” Steve thinks he nearly shouted the words out. The man in front of him his eyes go wide. They’re been staring at each other for a few moments now.

Eddie drinks in Steve.

Steve drinks in Eddie. 

The question is asked again. “Do you Eddie Munson take this man to your lawful husband in health, and sickness until death do you part?” “I do.” His voice, holy hell. Steve knees buckle under the touch of his hands in his as the rings are brought out and places on each hand. Eddie’s hands compared to his own are hard, rough. Eddie is freaking out internally. Has been since the doors opened to the hall. Steve is the most beautiful man he’s ever laid eyes on. He wants to get over with the mumble jumbo, and get to the honeymoon. Learn more about him. Fuck he wishes that he had met him before all of this. Learned about him, talked with him. Listened to him talk about all the things he wants from life.  

“You may kiss the groom.” The priest says calmly. There a thick tension that takes over the room. Yet for some reason it doesn’t care take over the interaction between Eddie, and Steve. Steve and Eddie are in their own bubble of peace, and overturning love. Eddie leans in first. Steve leans in. Yearning for some reason to just taste a little bit of him. He wonders if his lips are just as tough, and rough as his hands. Eddie just wants to have more of him. Learning Steve is all he can think about now. Their lips brush, and a fire ignite in their stomach. Butterflies fly, and flowers bloom. The kiss deepen. Hands landing on necks, and back pulling each other. They realse each other. Cheeks red, and the tips of there ears burning. They walk hand in hand down the isle. Eddie’s mother smiles widely at the look of adornment, and joy on her son face. Steve parents for the first time in his life look almost happy. HIs mother is smiling a small smile. Eyes brimming with tears of happiness. 

“I see you finally did not ruin anything, for me son.” It’s the first time the king has called his only son, only heir to the throne son in a long time. “I just wish you hadn’t looked so lost. The court will talk you know.” Eddie is watching listening. He can’t help how he already feel protective of his husband of only a few hours. “That’s very nice of you to say my king, but I think it would be most excellent if we. Stevie and I were able to enjoy out first few hours of marriage without being forced to think of anyone else beside each other.” Steve stares at his side. At his partner, his husband. The first true person to stand up to his father. His mouth is left open. “Do you wish to dance, Stevie?” Eddie asks Steve. The nickname has Steve rolling in his skin. It makes him feel wanted, makes him feel like his skin is on fire. 

Steve and Eddie dance. The world, and people around them dissolve. They look deep into each other eyes. They’re trying to read each other. Steve cheeks are laced with pink blush, he’s clammy. Eddie is trying to not let Steve know how sweaty his palm feel. They twist and turn over and over again. The music is the only thing they hear. As they dance, two queens and a king look over at the pair. Eddie’s mother and uncle are foundly looking at the pair. “See what I told you.” Wayne whispers to his sister. She knows Wayne is correct. Knowns that love takes time togrow to flourish. Like flowers in spring to summer. The king, and queen stare at the pair. It’s a love that they’ve never known not even for each other. They both wonder how Steve managed to be so bright, so filled with love when nothing they’ve taught him as been that. “Stevie?” Eddie whispers as they dance together. “Eddie.” Steve whispers back. “God you’re beautiful.” it makes Steve blush hard. “I never thought you’d be so fuckin’ hot.” Eddie contiunes. Steve rests his head in Eddie’s chest. He doesn’t want Eddie to know that he’s already gotten to him. “I’m serious. I thought… hell I thought a ton of things about you.” Eddie tells Steve. They slow dance together. Steve head still in Eddie chest. “I was so scared.” Steve tells Eddie as they slow dance together. “Why?” Eddie questions. “I thought… well I don’t have the best of example of love of marriage, or true love.” Eddie looks down at his chest. Brown hair and swaying, then his gaze move over to the king and queen. They look mad, angry. Unpleased with how the night is going, and Steve’s fathers words come to his mind. “It will be different I promise you Stevie.” Eddie whispers to his brand new husband. 

Hours of dancing, eating, and a long parade of people outside throwing flowers, rice and other things. For the first time on the carriage ride to another smaller castle it jus Eddie, and Steve. “I promise you Stevie .” Eddie is serious. He means it will all of his heart. “I know Eddie.” Steve rests his head on his husband shoulder. The dakr night sky is lullying him to sleep and the beat of his husband heart makes him fall asleep on the way. It’s Eddie waking Steve up as the carriage pulls to a stop. They’re hours, and miles away from their parents which both seems to be realizing only now. 

Servants come out of the woodworks for the two of them. Taking bags, moving them towards the castle. “Our honeymoon.” Eddie says sweetly, the thoughts of making tonight good for Steve comes to mind. “Are we making our marriage official?” He asks his husband. Servants eye’s go wide. It’s a mixture of servants from both kingdoms. Steve looks at his husband. He should tell him, but so many people are watching, listening. “I would like a moment with my husband alone please.” Steve says strongly. Servatns evportae at a state that Eddie’s never seen. A voice that Eddie would never associated with Steve. “Steve?” Eddie is starting to get worried. “Eddie… I need to tell you something. I… I really hope you don’t walk out after I say this.” Eddie’s worry only get worse. Many thoughts go through his mind. ‘Why would I leave?’ ‘How many people have left him because he had spoken his mind, his truth?’ “Eddie, I’m not a perfect person you know… I’m not pure, I have had relationship with others… shit… fuck I’m not good at this.” steve mutters. The curses that fall from his mouth make Eddie giggle. 

Steve face shifts automatically. “What are you laughing at?” “You… Stevie you don’t need to be perfect, or pure for me. I don’t except you to be that way. I just want you, the Srtevei that’s standing in front of me. I don’t care about anything else besides that.” Eddie says softly as he grabs his husband hand. Steve clearly hears the words. It’s hard for him to fully wrap his around head around them, but for now it’s enough to make him feel worthy of Eddie’s love. “So I ask my question again. Do you want to make our marriage official?” They’re staring hard at each other. “Yes Eddie.” Steve says with a smile. Eddie can;t help the grin that falls on his face. “Good… cause I’ve been dying to take your clothes off since I saw you walkin’ up that isle.” Steve blushes. 

In moments doors are opened. Two giggling as they pass servants and kiss up on each other as they enter a room. The door is pushed closed as they fall on it. Lips and teeth as they kiss each other. Lips grabbed by the teeth and pulled. Moans bounce around the walls. “Fuck… please take my clothes off Eds.” Steve moans as the kissing, and rough hands become to much to just handle with his clothes on. “Hell take your clothes off Eddie. I wanna touch you.” Steve whimpers. “Oh hell…” Eddie can’t beilvie it’s all happening. Clothes litter the floor. Tunic, and trousers are everywhere, but not for them to worry about now or ever. “Get on the bed Stevie. I wanna see all of you.” Eddie demands of his husband. Eddie is in wonderment, as his husband lays naked on the bed. His chest, and toned legs. Eddie kisses his husbands body. Teasing him here and there with light touches in just right the place. 

Then when he moans, begging, and whines become to much Eddie sinks right into him. Steve screams out in pleasure. Eddie is groaning as he tries to not explode right there and then. Steve is so tight around him, and as he pushes forward it’s all he can think about. Steve’s eyes are screwed shut, pleasure and pain mixing together to a perfect blend. “You’re so perfect Steveie.” Eddie groans as he settles in his husband. Steve’s eyes rolls into the back of his head. ‘Oh Eddie… Fuck you’re huge, don’t stop. Just…” The thursting stars, and the wordsdie in Steve’s throat. Groans, and moans are all that are heard from outside the room. High’s reached and going over board as Steve and Eddie come over and over again. When they’re finsihed the sun is not setting, rather instead is rising on the next morning. “Can we do this every night of our honeymoon?” Steve asks his husband. Eddie nods, rubbing a piece of stray hair out of Steves face. They’re sweaty, but they don’t care not when the servants knock on the door. “Breakfast is ready for your highness.” “I could go for some food, Eds.” Steve, “But i don’t wanna leave bed.” Steve finsishes. “Then we will have breakfast in bed this morning.” The servants nod, and leave. 

“I thought a ton of things Eddie, but never thought I’d be happy so fuckin’ quickly.” Eddie laughs and kisses his husband's head. “I only hope, and wish that this happiness stays for the rest of our life together,” Eddie says to his husband.

Completed on: 07/05/23

Posted on: 07/06/23

Steddie-

[her-canine-teeth]

Isobel by flower face - notes

pov jackie blue, pov shauna red (not rlly pov but. idk when its abt them)

You’ll never learn to lie

technically she lied to her pretty often so this is just not true. but it fits w the melody idk

say your French goodbye

idk how the French say goodbye. but shes like literlly saying her goodbye here and i think its funny bc nélisse is can french

Stay up in the blue glow, try to rearrange

theyre both staying up and its blue. jackie is trying to rearrange whats happening; she imagines shauna coming outside when, in reality, shauna is going to sleep.

All your insecurity and encyclopaedic rage

by rearranging what happens she automatically has to change what came before; the argument. put it in a context in which shauna is still her friend, still loves her, still comes outside and gets her. still cares for her.

ultimately she doesnt. (cant)

Do you still think you’re a killer?

shauna thinks its her fault

Or that you could be if you tried?

refers to jackie trying to banish shauna from the cabin and therefore out of her life (in a sense), which is p sure as close to killing for them as it gets I imagine. (codependency captial letters)

Always thought that you could do it if you couldn’t see their eyes

she did know that she loved shauna. didn't know how much, didn't know (or wasnt fully aware of).

she might've thought that she'd be able to get shauna to go one day, or to let her go; (she tried to, during the argument. personally i think she can't let shauna go farther than that though.)

as in; she wasnt aware of her codependency, and wouldve said that shes able in any way to cut shauna off but! she literally never thought about that being an option, or a possibility like ever (she literally had their whole future - together - planned out) so. do with that what you will

[talking]

its supposed to be a flashback idk if thats obvious; ties together what both of them think about (the arguing scene); what haunts them, both of them, for the rest of their lives (though Jackies is significantly shorter.)

Do you still wake up reaching for an empty space?

she does probably

Do you start to miss your sadness when it goes away?

jackie stays after her death. shaunas not allowing herself to move on, forever doomed to not only like have ur bff die on you which is honestly bad enough but to see her physically. not bc she wants to in that sense but bc she has to (needs to. cant live without her, though she never really lived all that much with her neither)

Do you wish your parents gave you someone else’s name?

doesnt have much to do with the scene. BUT their names have the same meaning. do you wish your parents gave you someone elses name. do you wish we werent connected from birth. do you wish we wouldnt share such an important aspect of our self. do you wish you never knew me (like you did). do you wish we were never best friends. do you wish we never met.

Do you scratch another line out for the same mistakes?

cheating.

You used to hold your body like a gun

turning away from shauna/rejection (physical. as soccer players their body is like prettyy important to them, and on top of that is their physicality with each other and yk. being teenage girl i guess anywaysss i thinj all of that sorta amplifies to The Body being v v important also for whatever theve got going on GOD i cant think)

Now you give yourself to anyone

(shauna pov but its abt jackie) condemning her bc shes with travis. 'anyone' inn the sense of 'anyone other than me (shauna)' or maybe 'who the fuck is travis' (hes not important. a faceless shadow in a crowd consisting of only him)

Are you right back where you started,

pining over jackie

Or have you found another way?

consuming her completely. without any objections

Sugar rush, a stranger’s backyard, the devil’s holiday

yeah idk

You watch yourself in fragments, amongst the leaves,

'yourself' because. they're one.

And you conclude that you never were much more

Than a reflection in a pool

the power shauan had over jackie; jackie asking herself who she is without shauna. If she is without shauna. if she ever was even with shauna, or not; never more than a reflection of her, a poor imitation, bound to break on the smallest ripple.

Do you still wake up reaching for an empty space?

Do you start to miss your sadness when it goes away?

Do you wish your parents gave you someone else’s name?

Do you scratch another line out for the same mistakes?

Do you still wake up wrapped around an empty space?

Do you only know the good days once they’ve slipped away?

Do you wish that he would call you by another name?

Do you pour another drink out for the same mistakes?

[eureka-its-zico]

I'm at a loss for words after the newest chapter... Some gifs should sum up some of my feelings (essay after the gifs lol):

While I am writing this, I hope that I will manage to compose myself 😂 [I came to add this before sending this, and no, I in fact, did not compose myself by the end of this lol]

First of all, thank you for beefy chapters. I personally enjoy them, means I can read a lot more and experience more emotionally. However, please take care of yourself and don't push yourself to churn out big chapters if you don't feel like it. Any sort of update you come out with, know that I will enjoy it and cherish it with my whole heart ❤

Second of all, to reply to the last ask I sent... My fave character from BG3 was Karlach. Honestly, I somehow managed to romance Wyll and then immediately regretted it because Karlach is the best character in that game. My least favourite character was, is and will forever be Gale. I won't go into details because you will see it (if you haven't yet) 😂 And you mentioned Dragon Age and Mass Effect?? Excuse me? Those are like both in my top favourite games! Screaming here in excitement!!!! 😂

Onto this newest chapter... While I was prepared for angst. I was not prepared for ANGST! And while I set the mood with Halsey for the whole chapter, oh shit, my heart 😭 Also, Zoro, seriously? You are such an arse, istg.

Everything, from the first line until the cliffhanger at the end... I am amazed at how you write. It's not just good, it's AMAZING. Each chapter you come out with makes me feel things and believe me, that's hard for me.

[Personal info dump incoming]

Fanfics have been a huge part of my life during some of the darkest times of my life. It's been a safe place for me to go to. Find characters and stories where life is better, someone wants you just as much as you want them if not more. Where you experience those feelings of attraction, that sudden realisation of 'oh shit.' and what comes with it. The fear and excitement of liking someone, the feelings of hurt, disappointment when you miscommunicate or don't communicate enough...

I've been through quite a few awful things in my life in recent years and while I've been free from an extremely toxic person for over a year now, I still feel... broken. Like, I came out from a situation where at the end of it I could not recognise the person in the mirror that was looking back at me. It was bad. And while I am better, there's still this nagging feeling at the back of my head that what if... I won't ever find anyone irl. What if, I will spend the rest of my life by myself?

AND while being alone hasn't been bad and I have learned that my peace is worth A LOT, at the end of the day, it would be nice to share the weight of the world with someone else 🤷‍♀️

[End of personal info dump]

Reading your story. A story you have so much care for. It fills me with so many positive feelings and I cannot even begin to describe how happy I get with each new update and to see you interact with everyone who sends you a message. You are so lovely, I wish I could reach through my monitor and give you the biggest hug ❤

You have a lovely gift. Making people feel emotions with words. Not many people manage to call out to the deepest parts of them, to make them relate and feel with the characters that they are reading about. To experience what the characters feel. And to paint the scenes that it feels you are actually there (in this case, it feels like I watched some bootleg OPLA version because it did not have Doc and Doc needs to be there! Netflix, pls fix this! kthxbye).

Is it obvious that I've been on an emotional rollercoaster tonight? 😂

I am probably going to bite my nails from anticipation for the next chapter because that ending?? I did not see that coming! 😂 But I hope that this will be a good way for Doc to see more about Nami and for them to bond even more. I would love to see a Zoro POV because I want to see him stewing and beating himself up for being a gigantic ass 😤😤😤 I would also expect him to give shit to Doc for pulling this stunt once they do get reunited, but Doc can shut that shit down because the first words out of Zoro's mouth should be "I'm sorry. I've been an ass. I'm terrified. I did not mean what I said." 😂 And Doc blurting out how she feels and Zoro being cold?! That tore my heart out honestly.

Also, Sanji... I can see Doc and him being good friends. Especially since it will annoy the shit out of Zoro and that's fine by me, because he was a dick to Doc 😂 Though also, they already have a good dynamic going for them that will make them good friends (bonding over Zeff/Naan in the previous chapter). Also, Doc doesn't care about his flirting and that is hilarious to me haha

Wow, it's an essay. Again 😂 I apologise, please let me know if you'd prefer that I don't send in essays into your ask? I get carried away because there's so many things that I feel and I just... rant 😂 There's a lot to comment about and I struggle with summing up my thoughts and feelings?! I apologise!

It was a lovely and emotional update and I am looking forward to what next is in store for Doc and the rest of the Straw Hats! ❤ Thank you for sharing your writing, Jenn. I hope you had a lovely weekend and your next week is going to be lovely, great and amazing! Also, 2 weeks until you graduate?! Congratulations!!

-- Your sappy, essay writing, emotional cheesy ❤

Osiyo, Cheesy Darling!!

Disclaimer: I'm going to add a continue reading cut because this is big and beefy and my reply will be equally big and beefy lol.

When it comes to big beefy chapters, it is a habit of mine. I have to like, teach myself to write less in chapters lol but then I HATE is because I feel like I didn't get to explain something the way it should have been explained or a scene between characters doesn't get the attention it deserves. My chapters end up being so long because I am desperately trying to make sure that the scenes, I'm writing all flow together perfectly but then I see it say 15-20k words and I panic lol. Realistically, when you read chapters in books they are at least 10k or more words per chapter. Right? Right??

KARLACH! I love her she is so sweet and cuddly with all her hell fire. Okay. Look. I had to restart Baldur's Gate because I found out I missed Gale and I cannot - CANNOT - function knowing I missed a party member and won't be able to decide if I want to fight them, fuck them, or marry them all on my own lol. It's funny you say he is your least fav and I'm like...the gith chick is currently the one I dislike the most because she is so ugly AND FOR WHAT?? FOR WHAT MA'AM?!?! And YESSSSSS!! Omg Mass Effect and Dragon Age are my favorite series of all time. The story Bioware told with Commander Shephard, my god, is the reason I think I write the way I do. Or part of the reason. The way they built up that world in three incredible games and even made sure in the 3rd to bring every small detail and side mission into the last game to give closure. That is fantastic writing. It's what made me want to write stories just as intricate and infuriating, because that ending....god Commander Shephard deserved BETTER. I will never shut up about this. Does it make sense?? Yes. Do I gotta like it? Hell no.

Thank you so much for being so nice. I struggled a lot with this chapter. I kept feeling like I was falling short or messing something up. So, I would have to get up and work through the dialogue and the scene through my head and when I just genuinely couldn't get over it, I forced myself to continue forward, or I would've deleted it.

[ On to your personal info dump ]: I am so incredibly sorry that you even went through that and had to experience it. Unfortunately, I know all too well what it feels like to experience the same exact thing. So, I am beyond happy that you are safe. You are out and you are learning that the peace of being alone is such an underrated joy, imo. I know it is not necessarily the same as what you meant, but if you want to share anything that weighs on you or just want to have friendly conversation when needed, I am always here for you.

You are so kind to me in telling Netflix to add in Doc lol I would literally die. It is a nice daydream to have to consider that a character created out of love for Oda sensei's vision, in all forms, would be considered. I always do my best to make sure when I speak to anyone who sends me a message or an ask that it is with kindness and gratitude. You all come and speak to me about my work and how it is something you enjoy, that it helps them, and all the while you are all helping me too. There isn't enough I could say to thank you for always being so kind. For sending me these amazingly long reviews and comments, because they are absolutely my favorite. I do not take these for granted.

I know everyone is hating on Zoro right now (for absolutely good reason) and it's funny but while I wrote him I just knew he had to do it. He's this 19-year-old petty pain in the ass who never considered having a relationship outside of his swords. He meets girl and instead of her being like everyone else, they ZING. Neither of them can explain it or understand it but they don't have to. The universe is funny like that sometimes.

Sanji and Doc are about to give Zoro a fuckin' run for his money and he is just going to have to grin and bear it because he has no choice. While he is equally gonna be pissed, she up and did something so stupid he is forgetting Doc is still equally pissed at how he reacted to her. Two idiots fighting over who is the pettiest. Always.

I do not mind your long replies or asks! These are some of my favorites and I have so much fun discussing things with you! The fact you also love Mass Effect and Dragon Age?? I AM ALIVE AND BURNING! Thank you for always being so lovely and so incredibly sweet. I hope your Monday is treating you kindly and not like an actual Monday, cause Monday's are gross lol. Much love.

[drarrily-we-row-along]

Hello,

I love your writing so much. For the ask game could you answer some or all of these up to you. Number 18, 20, 24, 43, and 74.

Thank you, sending lots of love and good vibes your way.

Hello lovely!

Thanks so much! I'd be happy to!

18. Do you enjoy research?  Which fic of yours required the most research?

Not especially. There are some times that I'll start digging into research because I want to get some tiny detail right and it will derail my writing for the day. I actually did a significantly larger amount of research when I was writing for the Sherlock fandom- Through Fire was a case fic, John was a Doctor who was practicing medicine, Sherlock was a recovering addict, there's a whole lot of processing abuse (and trying to get what's happening psychologically with them correct). That fic took an eternity to get right (and I still didn't in a lot of reader's opinions.) I think in the drarry fandom it's actually Hobbies (which is currently a WIP) because I watched a lot of youtube videos and read quite a bit about actually making pottery beforehand.

20. Do you prefer writing AUs or canon fics?

Something that's a little in between I think? I rarely want to write stories that include the epilogue. When I do, it's really to point out how fucked up they were as teens to have that outcome happen. But I also like my stories to be grounded in the HP universe; the Dursley's abuse (and the subsequent abuse by the other adults at Hogwarts) is really central to Harry’s character traits for me so a lot of my fics revolve around that vision of who Harry is. In conclusion, I don’t like the super Alternate universe where nothing is the same, but I also don’t want the epilogue.

24. How do you choose whose POV to write in?

Hard to explain. 🤔 Usually when I start writing something there’s a pretty clear *moment* in the fic that I’m aiming for (an emotion, a line, a scene, a park bench, or whatever else the muse has thrust in my path) and that usually has a pretty clear like character vibe? If that makes sense?

Once in a while, if the fic is like crumbling apart and it feels like nothing’s working, I’ll switch perspectives and write it from the other’s POV and that’s the cure. Or I’ll realize partway through that I’m working too hard to have one of them tell the other something that I could show in a better way if it was from their perspective instead.

Usually, I have a pretty good instinct for which perspective I’m writing from but once in a while it just feels like I’m inside the wrong skin while I’m writing the story, so I switch. 🤷🏼‍♀️ no idea if this answer will make sense to anyone but me. 😂

43. Is there a trope or idea that you’d really like to write but haven’t yet?

I’m a little hesitant to put this out there, honestly because I’m not sure when I’ll get to it. 😬

This is a pretty big ‘category’ but I would like to get into writing kink. For me, reading kink is about exploring boundaries, consent, trust; exploring the belief that someone can hold you in their hands and not break you (or break you and put you back together again). Ceding control, surrendering, and letting go are things that I love to read about- things that are really hard for me in real life- and seem like a beautiful thing to explore in the safety of fic (in the confines of a safe, loving relationship).

I'm hesitant because I have been very fortunate to avoid all of the nasty top/bottom discourse that I've seen affecting other writers. Also hesitant because I've had the experience of people vocally wishing I would cater to their tastes in sex and it burned me out of my last fandom.

74. Do you have a fic you wish got a bit more love?

Not really, honestly. I'm always shocked by how much love I feel like I receive on my fics. The comments, the kudos, the reblogs (and wonderful tags). I just feel very seen and heard, and very lucky to be a part of this fandom. <3

Thanks so much for the fun ask! <3 Sending all of my love right back to you.

See the list here. :)

[miamoo27]

I am burnt out. I get excited to go to work now because I have a crush on my co worker who has a gf. He asks me to smoke with him and when we do, its fun, friendly but theres this tension. Im not sure its because we are the opposite sex or because there is something there. The left part of my brain is telling me to not event think of that since he has a girlfriend. Someone else has a 100 percent crush on me at work and they are a "christian" a deep devoted one. I do not like them like that. They are nice but there issues with religion is insane. Speaking of religion my mother bases her life off patriarchial POV in some sick tradition italian way (sorry to my ancestors). Her whole world view is her families. I suggested maybe it is time to move past that if its not working. I told her to switch her perpective look at all the things you did as a woman that you were told you couldnt. I wish she could see that. She also has an eating disorder which she isnt aware of. My father is now concerned which makes me equally concerned because if he is then there is definetly a problem. He finally saw its a psychological issue with her not eating. We went out and she ate none of her fish. She inspires to be skinny. Gets mad for eating pasta. Wears my pants because hers are too big. Sometimes being around her makes me feel fat because she never eats and all i do is eat. But during the day I barely want food I wish there was a pill to stop me from exhaustion and burn out. I said many times the past two days "I am having a mental break down." I wanted to throw up after the meeting at work. I smoked with Adam I felt better but stilll felt panic from the unease I felt since sunday nigt. I have my period it sucks. I havent had sex in two months, it sucks. I cried on my floor because my mom or me potentially lost my adderal. My dad displined me about getting my own pills, I hate him but hes right so I apologized and let him raise his voice which I rarely do but I know I have too much on my plate. My cousin is a drug addict. Hylan. I had to add that in because wow. My aunt amy is a narcist too smart for her own fucking good can read people like a book. Everyone is lucky that I always have good intentions and like to see the best in people or I would be like her. Ivana at work is on aderall constantly more than me and speaks a mile a minute and has the energy of a coke addict. Holly is a strong queen I dont know how she does it and a amazing teacher. I try and see the best in people I do but when this girl Sarah who I was friends with from work but then she became weird with me and started becoming slow at her job. I stopped liking her. She made me do everything today and is slower than slow. I am having a panic attack and can keep up with the kids. I enjoy them I do. Not the babies dont get me fucking started. The care giving, the baba, the poop, the dipers. What the fuck. You not my baby. But Still i dont think I enjoyed being a baby. I cried so much I hated it. Knowing my true nature I know I probably coudnt stand someone else taking care of me. Who knows how emotionally avabile my mom was. She was giving me to my aunt or nanny constantly. I feel bad for my mom she never got the time to truly "find herself" or question her views. Like no one pushed hen person. I think shes special. Shes smart but she has a victim mentality. the drinking did not help that and encouraged it. She always had a woe is me. Sorry I love my mom and I know this may sound bitchy but like she always looks like a lost deer. Shes been through hell and back but never used it to help other. I am sorry I can not forgive her because taking care of kids takes me out of my shit. We all have shit we get consumed with. I was able to go to work after feeling disgusted a day after Nick broke up with me. I cried because I watched Jude run away from her mother in fear because of how she acted in class. She kicked me hit me that day it made me cry for her to be angry with me. Not that she was kicking me. She just came into this world it sucks enough why make her go through more.

[pensight]

since i have been on top surgery meds my dreams have been getting really cool and vivid, every time i even nap another one comes along so gonna write em down

the group of justice people that wears all leather that i for some reason trusted, assigned me with a task of figuring out the local drug lord in the area and execute him. They supplied me with a little balloon of silly putty.

This was no ordinary silly putty, though. The balloon cracked open and the highlighter yellow silly putty oozed out, before taking the rough shape of a scraggly kitten, still bright highlighter yellow with no color variations. They explained that this silly putty had tiny nanobots that were the hivemind of a tiny kitten they found on the side of the road.

For some reason this putty was intelligent enough to understand me and it could be commanded or trained to take different shapes. It was also a little scrunkly guy that wanted attention and affection but could not be killed because it was silly putty.

(Much better than my usual anxiety dreams where i am entrusted with an itty bitty cute soft very fragile creature and get distracted right away and the creature gets into perilous situations or i accidentally squish it somehow while i was trying my hardest to be careful)

this dream had a b plot and a c plot, b plot was that my family and i won a sweepstakes to get to watch up close how a movie gets made and we get to hang out with the actors and stuff. The main actor guy happened to look a lot like Jason GoodPlace, and we were becoming best buds because i was nailing all the conversations and he was cool about me being awkward.

I am always shocked when someone thinks i am cool right away, and that added a x2 bonus to the starstruck disease i get around famous people

(i hate the idea of being a fan of someone who is just trying to go about their day, and in my mind fan engagement = working in a celebrity’s pov, so i dont want to force someone to work on their time off and therefore a part of me wishes to either flee as soon as i can or pretend i dont know they’re famous [but then i am a lying liar who lies and that will take juggling the fiction i have made in the back of my mind] but this guy was someone i hadn’t watched anything in, i just Knew he was famous because he was in a starring role in a movie production; it was a very impostor syndrome feeling thing to just be in anyone’s presence because i felt like i didn’t wanna understate the work they might’ve done to get there but also if i were them i wouldn’t want to be put on a pedestal. i have another shpiel about how celebrities arent even really hot shit and do not deserve special treatment anyway [born into it often or born with the means of going through the training often and besides they live in a whole different society from me with different priorities that can restrict their knowledge of certain things. i cite george bush sr. not knowing about lazer scanning cash registers for several years as an example] but i need to remember this dream before it leaves me.)

Jason was chill, is the main point. His mom was Not chill. She had really cool shoes, though. Very special silk looking sandals with floral decor on them, that were the bright teal you saw on 70s refrigerators. I never saw them on anyone else. I couldn’t see anyone’s faces when i first encountered The Drug Lord, but one of the people in his entourage had her shoes. I didn’t jump to conclusions yet, but i ordered the silly putty kitten to injure the Shoes person’s feet or fuck with the sandals in some way. Kitty turned into a knife and stabbed through the sole of the shoe so Shoes escaped into a limo with their bleeding foot/sandal sticking out the window?

So the next time i saw Jason’s mom her foot was wrapped in bandages and wasn’t wearing her special shoes. Ah-ha!, I thought, I am closing in on The Drug Lord.

C plot was that my grandmother was also Getting Into Antics on the movie set, figuring stuff out so she could do it herself once we got back home. Giving advice to the electrical people and the set design people that kinda made it where the place didn’t run into as many difficulties. She was also trying to be friends with Jason’s Mom. We were Poors and that made Jason’s Mom very put off. She left for Pizza. I didn’t know if I should tell jason that his mom is in league with a dangerous murdering Drug Lord.

Never managed to do it before i found a business card for the Drug Lord, it was so stupid just ‘Drug Lord’ and his main business place address. A friend of mine worked in a pizza place that didn’t have their address number in front of it and it only occurred to me to show him the business card. “Oh my God. That’s where I work!” He was so shocked and afraid that the Drug Lord had been working under his floors the whole time. 

Anyway they got wrangled by the Justice Organization but I was also brought in under suspicion, so I had to work fast. 

I told Kitty to flatten itself through the cracks under the door, go up Drug Lord’s pants leg, and go up his butt to release shreds of glass in the most dangerous places Kitty could, in order to carry out the execution. 

It was like the Drug Lord had been poisoned in Skyrim? And the Justice Organization let me out because I’d killed The Drug Lord. Kitty got washed and returned to me and we have always been best friends ever since. Kitty hated fireworks though. And never could grow any bigger. Sometimes you accidentally stepped on Kitty and they turned into just flattened sillyputty with a shoeprint on them for like 10 minutes before they limp back to you and they are fine after they get pettings and sorries. 

after the conclusion of that i woke up in the middle of the night to go piss so that was that one done. sure there are some loose ends but it was a dream.