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jonathansthickthighs · 2 days

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Yandere! Choso Kamo x Reader

Description: You start receiving sweet, anonymous love notes from a secret admirer which start turning perverted over time.

Trigger Warnings: 7.4k words, nsfw, college AU, yandere, afab reader, obsessive love, virgin choso, CREEP CHOSO, pervert choso, stalker choso, masturbation, smut, unprotected sex (wrap it up), choso is kinda pathetic, he calls reader princess, reader is lowkey into choso stalking her, dark themes

Not edited!

Masterlist

I wish you could grasp the exquisite beauty you hold in my eyes. ♡︎

Your eyes widened as you read the note placed in front of you on your desk, heat rushing to your cheeks. Surely this person must be mistaken, was this note really directed at you? You looked around the empty classroom wondering who could’ve possibly left this note on your desk and if they were even in this class. Even if you weren’t sure if the note was for you, suppressing the smile that was forming in your face felt impossible. Nobody had ever said anything like this to you before. Sure, people found you attractive, but the way this was written almost felt innocent— like there was no malicious intent behind it. The complete opposite of what most men that approached you were like.

You traced your hand over the neat calligraphy, feeling your heart rate speed up at the thought of someone truly thinking this about you. You couldn’t help yourself from reading it over and over, allowing your lips to curl up knowing no one was around to see you smiling at a paper like an idiot.

Unbeknownst to you, a tall, pale man with dark hair styled in space buns, stood there observing you discretely through the small window of the amphitheater door. Your reaction to his note caused his heart to leap with joy, the sight of your smile held the power to brighten even his darkest days. Your response to his message only inspired him to dedicate his time to write you more notes that would make you feel as flustered as he was by you when you spared him a single glance.

Choso stepped away from the door smoothly when he started hearing voices approaching from down the hall, pretending to be entertained by his phone. He glanced at the time on the screen, noticing it was almost time for class, but he opted to wait for everyone else to walk in before him. He always did this. Never had he been alone with you in the classroom even though he always arrived before you. He always stood behind a wall watching you stride gracefully into class earlier than everyone else. You were such a smart, punctual, responsible girl and he admired that greatly. He loathed never being capable of being alone with you, knowing he would be a blushing, horny mess— quite frankly, that’s not the first impression he wanted you to have of him.

Taking a deep breath, Choso walked in, making his way to his usual sit, two rows behind you, yet at a perfectly angle where he was able to contemplate your side profile. The moment he walked past you, your eyes locked. You offered him a small, cute smile and Choso wanted nothing more than to beam back at you, but instead he drifted his eyes away from yours, blushing in embarrassment. You exuded such kindness, always greeting him with the warmth of your pretty smile, even amidst the whispers and judgements surrounding his oddness. You kept smiling for him even when he didn’t smile back.

Choso was a very shy man. He didn’t know how to talk to girls, but that wasn’t something he was interested in doing before he met you. Dating had never been something he took interest in. Despite his brothers’ persistent attempts to orchestrate romantic encounters with women, they would always be left disheartened by Choso’s aloofness, proof of his disinterest in the affairs of the heart until he found you. None of them were like you.

The pale man proceeded his daily routine of observing you, not paying attention to what the professor was explaining. To him, this was his time to learn all your quirks and movements. His own personal course of you. Don’t you dare ask him anything on what the class is actually about because he’ll just answer with facts and observations about you. Like how you chew on the cap of your pen furiously when you don’t understand a subject or how you shift in your seat every few minutes because you just can’t seem to find a comfortable position to sit in.

He finds solace in studying your countenance, captivated by your vivid expressions, particularly your expressive eyes. The eyes are the windows of your soul, as they say. They unveil the depth of your emotions, he could tell when something was off about you by merely looking into your eyes— your feelings always danced within them. Being able to stare into your eyes without fear of rejection was one of his deepest desires in life. Feeling lost was a petrifying emotion, but losing himself to the never ending abysm that lived in your orbs was something he would never be apprehensive of.

You’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen. There isn’t a second in the day where you are not invading my thoughts. I wish I had the courage to speak to you.

Reading the note that was accompanied by a beautiful rose this time, you pouted, wondering why this person was so afraid to approach you. According to your own judgment, you gave off a friendly demeanor. If only you could figure out who was leaving you these notes. You weren’t afraid of approaching them first if they were too shy to do so themselves. You had been getting these notes for a month now and no matter how early you got to class this person always beat you to it. Deciding to form a plan to get this person to show themselves, you started brainstorming.

You could never begin to comprehend the depths of Choso’s love for you. That’s why you would never understand his reasoning when he followed that disgusting man that harassed you on campus. You would never understood why he had to pull the man to an empty alley and make him suffer. Choso hated that he had been at work when it all went down, he wasn’t there to save you and he would never forgive himself for it.

He was lucky you were able to scape him, but nonetheless you would’ve never went through that horrifying situation if only he had been there to protect you. He came to the conclusion that he needed to know your location at all times. That’s why he pretended to bump into you as you made your way to your other class, slipping an AirTag into one of the pockets of your bag discreetly.

He could imagine look of fear in your eyes when this man tried putting his grimy hands on you— it was enough to drive Choso to violence. He wanted to cause that scum the same fear he had caused his precious girl. The lengths he would go for you were unimaginable. What would you think of him if you knew he had stabbed that man to death that night? Even through his internal turmoil about your perception of him, he couldn’t help but feel proud at what he had done for you. From the moment he saw you, he knew he was capable of anything just to keep you safe.

One thing he felt grandly ashamed of was his perverted thoughts. To him you were much more than just a sexual object, but he couldn’t stop his cock from getting hard at the trivial thought of you. Never before had he experienced sexual desire this intense before, because of that, he was still a virgin at his age. Losing his virginity had never even crossed his mind before. Yet, after he met you, he couldn’t stop imagining how pushing his length into your wet, tight heat would feel like.

Every night he would spend it scrolling endlessly through your social media— which he didn’t dare follow— and staring at your beautiful pictures, smiling at him so sweetly. Choso would stare at them intently, thrusting his cock into his fist desperately, moaning your name, imaging you were riding him vigorously trying to make yourself orgasm on his throbbing cock. Thinking about it was enough to make him explode all over his hand and well built abs. Abs he had spent hours at the gym working on to look good just for you. He wanted— no needed you to find him attractive, if he wanted you to only see him he had to make sure he looked his best.

He had trouble containing his excitement when you were around, you simply were too beautiful for your own good. Hence the reason he stood outside the window of your apartment jerking his cock as he watched you rubbing your swollen clit through the window. He wanted nothing more than to climb through the damn window and attach his hungry lips to your clit, which was just begging for his attention. It wasn’t the first time he watched you masturbate, it was clear as day that you needed some help, his help. When you accepted to be his, he would gladly service you every day and night. It didn’t matter how many times as long as you were satisfied, he promised to put your pleasure above his always.

Choso massaged his throbbing cock thoroughly, spreading the precum that leaked from his sensitive tip all over his shaft. He covered his mouth attempting to muffled his pathetic whimpers from being heard by you. He continued watching as you inserted two fingers into your tight cunt, making Choso’s eyes roll all the way to the back of his skull. He wished he could be the one pushing his digits inside of you. He was sure they would feel better than yours, his were so much bigger, they would reach depths you’ve never reached before. Gods, your moans were the most melodious sound he’d ever heard, you were driving him insane— he wasn’t going to be able to hold it much longer. He needed you to come with him. He didn’t deserve to come if you didn’t.

Your facial expressions were the sexiest thing he has ever witnessed. You were simply godly, there was no other way to describe you. The beads of sweat forming on your forehead and coating the rest of your body gave you a breathtaking glow. He needed to taste your skin, kiss and run his tongue all over your delectable body. “Please…” Choso didn’t know what he was begging for, what he did know was how badly he wanted you. His twitching cock was proof of that.

Choso could see your face contort in pleasure. He learned by watching you so often that, when you made that expression, it meant you were close to reaching your peak. He felt relieved knowing that he wouldn’t have lasted much longer. “Let’s come together, princess. P-please, give this to me.” He uttered in a hushed tone, moaning your name lowly.

He shivered as you started fingering yourself at a quicker pace, arching your back. It was almost like you were inviting him to ogle at your heaving breasts, your nipples he so badly wanted to take in his mouth, noticeably perky through the thin fabric of your oversized shirt. Choso would make sure to provide you with a lifetime supply of his shirts, you would never feel obligated to buy an oversized shirt ever again.

Your jaw slacked open as you let it all out, making Choso undergo through a confusing sense of jealousy over your own fingers, yearning to feel you releasing your sweet nectar around his cock instead. Breath heaving, he fisted his pulsing cock a couple of more times, enjoying the sound of the lewd noises that came out of your perfect lips, before spraying an copious amount semen on the ground. He tugged on his cock a few more time, coming down from his high at the same time as you.

“Goodnight, I love you.” His voice barely a sigh as he whispered longingly. He tucked himself back into his pants swiftly before pressing a soft kiss into the tip of his fingers to then drag them it across your reflection in the window. He jumped recalling he should’ve been at his place by now, having lost track of time completely, knowing he had to prepare dinner for his brothers. So with one last look at you, he disappeared into the night.

When Choso arrived to the amphitheater he was surprised to see a note on your desk already. He quickly approached it, grabbing the note, recognizing your handwriting right away.

I want to meet you.

He stilled in place at the five words scribbled on the paper. You were actually interested in finding out who he was? Choso couldn’t decipher what your intent was, but he wasn’t so sure he wanted you to know your secret admirers identity just yet. He knew you were well aware of the swirling rumors about him, everyone painted him as nothing more than a freak. His demeanor remained reserved and he preferred solitude over companionship, which only fueled the disdain others had towards his persona. He wanted to believe you would never see him in such way, but there was always something stabbing him on the side, whispering the possibility that you, too, might harbor the same prejudices as them.

Choso opted to respond to your message briefly, accompanying it by one of your favorite treats before rushing out of the classroom, aware that you would arrive at any moment.

Just like that, exactly one minutes later you entered through the opposite door Choso exited from. You took notice of the note on your desk from afar and quickened your pace towards it in excitement. Smiling, you inspected the treat placed right next to it. How this person knew what your favorite things to snack on were, remained a mystery to you, but it didn’t bother you as long as they kept them coming. Grabbing the note and opening it, your smile disappeared only to reappear in Choso’s face as he watched your reaction. Your facial expression were just so funny to him sometimes.

No. ♡︎

“The fuck?” You exclaimed out loud in disbelief. No? Just no?! You pondered the ulterior motives of this individual. Had they just been playing a month long prank on you this whole time? Visibly frustrated, you plopped down into your seat, glancing at the note once again to make sure you were reading correctly.

Choso felt guilt wash over him when he saw you get genuinely upset, yet he couldn’t suppress the soft giggle that escaped his mouth at how cute you looked when you were mad. He despised that he made you feel this way, but he would reveal himself to you when he was ready and now, was not the right time.

Routinely, he lingered behind for everyone to enter ahead of him before making his entrance. Like he always did, he passed by your row, his eyes inevitably sought yours yearning for that connection he felt with them. This time, an impulse seized Choso, deciding to give you a tentative smile only to not be greeted by your own— mirroring the same coldness he always showed you each time you beamed at him. Bewildered and wounded, he hurried to his seat feeling like he just received a punch in the gut. Was your behavior due to your exasperation at the note or was it because you allowed everyone to taint your mind with the rumors about him?

The pain he felt by your indifference towards him lingered in his chest. Choso spent the whole lecture overthinking, anxiety building in his stomach and causing him to tremble. There was one thing he was completely certain of.

He hated when you didn’t smile for him.

Gloom filled the rest of Choso’s day ever since you decided to stab him in the heart with your frown. Today he had the evening free from his job and he decided to spend it staring at your pictures with a leaky, throbbing erection straining against his sweatpants. He didn’t deserve to ease himself after the events that transpired today. Staring at one of his favorite pictures of you smiling so prettily, he ran his thumb desirously over your face through the screen of his phone. He fantasized about the softness of your skin as he cupped your gorgeous face in his big hands before pressing his lips to yours. He ran his fingers over his chapped lips imagining how they would feel rubbing against your soft ones.

His thoughts were interrupted when he heard the door of his room slam open, holding his phone to his chest securely before facing whoever forced him break out of his delusions. “Yo, bro where’s the—“ Yuji cut himself off when he saw the strange position his brother was in. “You’re not watching porn are you?” He questioned, narrowing his eyes suspiciously at Choso.

This caused Choso to shake his head rapidly, with widened eyes. “W-what? Of course not, Yuji! What is it that you need?” He inquired eager to usher his brother out of his room with utmost haste.

Yuji smiled slyly, sliding into his bed. “What are hiding, bro?” He curiously interrogated his older brother, wiggling his eyebrows comically.

Choso chuckled nervously, his grasp on his phone tightened against his chest. “N-nothing, just scrolling, heh.” Way to go, Choso, you can never hide anything from your prying brother. This caused Yuji to snicker, throwing himself towards Choso, fighting him for his cellphone. “Don’t think I don’t see your raging boner, bro. Let me see what you’re looking at!” He joked, attempting to force his phone out of his iron grip.

“Why are you even looking there, brother? Gross!” Choso quipped back, his voice muffled by his brothers hand on his face. With a victorious laugh, Yuji suspended his arm in the air seeing Choso’s phone in his hand.

Yuji quickly unlocked his older brother’s phone because, of course, he had no passcode. “Whoa, she’s so pretty. Who is this?” He exclaimed in astonishment, scrolling through your profile, bamboozled at the fact that his virgin brother was finally taking interest in an actual girl.

“Yuji, please just give me my phone back.” Choso sighed in defeat, not wanting to talk to his brother about his obsessive love for you.

“Is she your crush?” Yuji questioned playfully, dragging the last word. Choso furrowed his eyebrows together, before nodding awkwardly, avoiding eye contact. His younger brother erupted in a boisterous laugh, rolling on his bed like a madman. “About damn time, bro! I was staring to think you were going to die alone— wait, why aren’t you following her?” Yuji inquired, confused by what he was seeing on the phone screen.

“I— we’ve never really talked.” Choso sheepishly admitted, heat creeping up his neck in embarrassment.

“Unacceptable. Let’s talk to her now!” Immediately after that suggestion, Choso ripped his phone from Yuji’s hand.

“Are you insane? She’s gonna think I’m a creep!” Which he was, but he didn’t need his brother knowing that.

Yuji shook his head in disbelief. “Okay, so help me understand. You don’t talk to her and she doesn’t talk to you. I bet you can barely look at her in the eye. How exactly do you plan on getting your crush to evolve, bro? Are you going to pine in secret forever? Do you think one day she’ll come to our door asking for your hand in marriage out of nowhere?” I wish.

“You know what?” Yuji snatched Choso’s phone back, smirking, before pressing the follow button.

“Yuji, no!” Choso pulled his space buns in frustration, falling back on his bed. He glanced at the watch on his nightstand knowing you most likely had your phone on your hand at this hour. There was no way you would miss the notification.

“Chill, bro, it’s done. You’re welcome!” Yuji beamed as he threw Choso’s phone back to his chest, his grin radiating with accomplishment as he rose from the bed, making his way out of the room with a satisfied stride. Choso groaned, covering his face with hands as he blushed furiously. Not even a minute after Yuji walked out of the room he felt his phone vibrate and Choso’s heart almost came out through his mouth when he saw the notification.

You followed him back.

The next day you walked through the door of the amphitheater with a gleeful spring in your step— your frustrations from yesterday seemingly dissipated. You decided you weren’t going to force whoever was sending you notes to show themselves. They have the right to remain hidden if that’s what they truly desired and you weren’t one to beg anyone for anything. If something was bound to happen with your secret admirer, it would.

As per usual, a folded paper laid on your desk, but you were quick to take notice of the white paper bag that stood next to it. You furrowed your eyebrows as curiosity took over you, almost skipping towards it. The note was brief and straight to the point.

Would you wear this for me?

As you blinked, a sense of puzzlement washed over you upon reading the note. Now they’re sending you clothing items? The bag, securely sealed with tape, offered no deterrent as you swiftly tore it open. Instantly, a surge or heat flooded your cheeks at the sight of its contents. You moved your gaze around, making sure no one was around before pulling out a box that held a pair of panties, colored a deep purple, made out of lace, see through material. Oh, but they weren’t just any panties, it was one of those vibrating underwear that was controlled by someone else with a controller.

You couldn’t believe what your eyes were seeing right now. Out of all the endless note you had received from them, this was way out of the ordinary. None of them had shown anything sexual, not even innuendos. You hated to admit it, but you didn’t know wether to feel disrespected or severely turned on at the thought of your secret admirer controlling the vibrations during class. You bit you lips giving it some thought before nodding with determination. You shoved the panties back in the bag, advancing out of the classroom in direction to the restroom.

Choso watched in disbelief as you walked out, scarcely able to believe that you were actually going to wear his gift. Today, he had woken up feeling bold and after the confidence boost he got from you the night before, he had decided to procure something a little more special for you. After you followed him back, he saw it as a signal that you didn’t see him as everyone else did. Perhaps you two would be meeting sooner than he had anticipated, yet first, he wanted to test the waters.

He needed to assess the extent of your willingness to invest in him without even knowing his identity. He would’ve never guessed this would be something that excited him at this extent, his cock was fully erect as he eagerly waited for you to come back. He wished he could see the way those panties would cling to your hips and ass— something told him he would sooner than later. He had specifically bought that color to match his hoodie, which he was wore today in hopes you would wear his gift. And you did.

By the time you were back, everyone had settled to their seats already, including Choso. The moment you stepped into the classroom, he pressed the button in its lowest setting drawing a whimper from your lips, making everyone turn their attention towards you. Your eyes widened, swiftly offering an awkward, yet apologetic smile before ushering to your seat. While you were in the restroom you were able to catch sight of what the box the panties came in said— your secret admirer had failed to notice that the box indicated that the vibrations were controlled by a close-range remote control. Now you were able to confirm that your admirer was in this very class.

Choso smirked as he watched you take a seat, nobody else noticed, but there was a slight wobble to your walk— only a person that observed you constantly could differentiate from you usual stride. He proceeded to change the vibrations to the medium setting, almost chuckling out loud when he saw you jump slightly at the sudden change of speed. He could only imagine how wet your cunt was getting. Such a dirty girl, getting off to being controlled by a man she doesn’t even know in front of everyone. Would you be able to orgasm like this?

The pale man had to contain a hiss as he palmed his throbbing cock over his pants under the table, desiring nothing more than to give it to you on the spot. He could see the noticeable embarrassment on your face from his angle. Shifting on your seat every so often, covering your mouth with your hands as you attempted to take your notes and your eyes rolling back every time he changed the speed. He simply loved watching you look around, making sure no one noticed your odd behavior. Choso never knew this could be so hot.

Choso bit his lip, cock twitching in his now too tight pants, seeing your chest heaving up and down. He could tell you were close, so he decided to change it to the highest speed. He watched you lower your head, tightly shutting your eyes closed as you came, muffling your whimpers with your hand. Unbeknownst to you, Choso was in the same exact position as you as he released in his trousers by simply observing you.

He was thankful he decided to wear dark pants today.

I know I messed up, princess. I shouldn’t have given you the panties in the box. Now you know how close I am to you. Nevertheless, I really enjoyed watching you squirm in pleasure in your seat. This is embarrassing to admit, but you were so sexy that you made me come in my pants. I hate wasting my cum that way when it could easily be inside you instead.

I’ve been thinking about it and I changed my mind about us meeting. How about we meet at the fountain in the middle of campus? Tonight at 8pm. I bought you a little something to wear for me. ♡

You hadn’t stopped re-reading the note ever since you left class. The dark, purple summer dress he had bestowed upon you lay delicately on your bed as you wished time would hasten its pace, eager to encounter this mysterious individual. Excitement bubbled up in your stomach as well as fear, what if this person turned out to be less than benevolent? There was barely anyone around campus at that hour, there no one to save you. Memories of the time that man had tried harassing you flooded your mind, not wanting the past to repeat itself. Yet your longing to meet this person persisted more than your anxieties. That’s why you opted to pack a pepper spray and a pocket knife in your bag without forgetting to share your location with your best friend.

Noticing the time to leave was approaching, you quickly dressed yourself, spritzing one of your favorite perfume on yourself before stepping out the door.

Choso was a nervous wreck, having arrived an hour too early. He had been sweating bullets the whole time as he attempted to get ready, forcing him to endure three showers. How was he supposed to look his best for you when his body wasn’t cooperating? He had wore his best outfit for you and made sure his hair was neatly styled in his usual do.

Now, he was there, struggling to regulate his breathing, trying his hardest to control his sweating. He dreaded appearing like a disheveled mess when you finally met. He kept checking the time, despising how extended each minute felt. He scrolled through your account, attempting to make time pass by faster, entertaining himself with your pictures as he always did when he felt down. He took notice of the time, seeing it was already one minute past eight. Where were you?

You were merely a minute late, yet panic took over him, entertaining thoughts of being left abandoned or worse yet, fearing that something had happened to you on the way here. Rising to his feet, he scanned the dimly lit campus and there was no sight of you. This couldn’t be happening to him. He could almost feel tears forming his eyes and just as he was about to check your location, he heard soft steps approaching through the grass.

He turned around and there you were.

He gulped when he saw you were wearing the dress he had gifted you with so much love. You were so beautiful, his heart twisted in his chest. For the first time it was just you and him— with your knowledge, obviously. He stared into your eyes and you stared right back. Your eyes were wide in astonishment. Choso attempted to open his mouth, but no words came out.

“It’s you.” You stated, your voice almost a whisper. Choso’s chest rose and fell with each heavy breath, his gaze was fixated on your pretty face and he couldn’t possibly look away. So, so pretty— he wanted to snatch you away and hide you from the world, your beauty shinning for his eyes only. He probably had a lovestruck look on his face and he didn’t even care about hiding it anymore.

“Y-yeah.” That was all Choso could manage to utter out, wishing he had left his hair down so it would at least cover part of his flushed face.

“You’re a shy little thing aren’t you?” You giggled, taking a few steps closer to him. “You can’t even look at me in the eye for more than a second.” You added as you tried to catch his golden brown eyes, surrounded by what seemed like red eyeshadow, but in reality the crimson around his eyes was brought to you by his lack of sleep. Choso kept his gaze on the ground, feeling the back of his neck starting to sweat. “You were incredibly bold the other day, not what I would expect from a man like you. Consider me pleasantly surprised.” He blushed harder at your compliment.

“Y-you liked it?” Choso inquired attempting to meet your eyes again, almost whimpering at how close you were to him. He could feel the warmth radiating from your body.

“Honestly, I found it quite disrespectful.” You started, making Choso’s eyes open up as he started apologizing profusely, but he was cut short. “But that was only at first. The more thought I gave it, the wetter I got. I fucking loved it, Choso.” His dick shot straight up the moment he heard his name leave your lips, he had longed to heart it for longer than you could muster. You drew yourself nearer to him until your soft chest was pressed against his hard one. Choso could stop his eyes from glueing themselves to your chest, being squeezed against his own. He was rock hard.

“Now it’s my turn to be bold with you, Choso. Would you like to go back to my place and show me what you can do with that, instead of a vibrator?” You suggested, biting your lip as you cupped his member in your hand. The golden eyed man couldn’t hold his whimpers when he felt your hand on him. This was not the way he visualized this night, but there was no way he would reject your offer.

“Let’s go.” Choso agreed eagerly.

You grabbed his hand as you both started hurrying towards your apartment which was only five minutes away. He was certain he would never tire of the feeling of your hand on his. He stared at you face, not believing you were truly here with him. He couldn’t stop himself from slipping your hand from his and lifting you up into his arms, carrying you the rest of the way.

“Oh? You seem to know the way to my apartment, have you been stalking me?” You questioned playfully, poking his cheek. Choso stopped on his tracks, looking at your facial expression trying to find the reassurance that you were truly playing with him right now. “Jeez, Choso! Relax a little, I’m only joking. I wouldn’t mind you stalking me, I’ve always thought you were the hottest guy in class.” You winked at him, causing a genuine smile to creep to his red face as he continued his way to your apartment.

The moment you arrived at your apartment, Choso rushed to your bedroom with you still in his arms, placing you gently on your bed. He sat next to you, feeling the sheets of your mattress, reminiscing of all the times he had been in here without your knowledge. You placed a hand on his thigh softly and he flexed it as he felt himself tense up when you got closer to him. “W-wait. I’ve never kissed anyone before.”

You stared at him in bewilderment. “You’re being serious right now?”

“Yes. I-I’m sorry. I wanted to let you know in case I wasn’t… good. We don’t have to continue if you don’t want.” Choso apologized, starting to get up and walk himself out of your apartment, only to be stopped by you.

“It’s okay, Choso. I just can’t believe a guy that looks like you has never done anything like this before.” You admitted as you cupped his face gently. The fact that you found him this attractive made his chest inflate with pride— after all, he always tried to look his best for you. “Can I kiss you?” You asked for permission and he answered with an eager nod. You closed the space between you both, massaging your lips into his surprisingly soft ones. Choso placed his hand on your thigh, giving it a squeeze, making you open your mouth ardently for him to slide his tongue in. Your wet tongue felt like heaven against his, you kiss was skyrocketing him into an abysm of serendipity. He never thought kissing could feel this good.

You slowly pulled away, a string of saliva keeping your lips connected to one another. “That was amazing, [Name]. Thank you.” Choso gratefully expressed, a lovesick smile lingering on his face.

Your lips formed into a smirk before pushing him back on your bed, climbing onto his lap and crashing your lips into his once again. He responded right away by sliding his tongue across your bottom lips, desperate for you to allow him entrance into your wet cavern and you complied enthusiastically. As you shared the reverent kiss you started grinding you hips against the tent in pants, making him grunt into the kiss. You pulled away from him momentarily to lift off his shirt, revealing his chiseled abs. “Wow, you’re so strong, Choso.” You praised him, dragging your hand over them, making him hiss at the contact.

“It’s all for you, princess.” He admitted, daring to place his hand on your ass that was half covered by the purple fabric of the dress. “Gods, I’ve wanted to grab this ass for such a long time. You’re so damn breathtaking.” He added squeezing your globs firmly.

“You can touch me wherever you want from now on.” You replied shakily, feeling your panties damped more by the minute. Having him feel you up and grope you this way was making you inexplicably horny.

Choso moved one of his hand tentatively up your thigh until he reached your crotch, looking up at you for permission to touch that sacred place. You gave a nod, understanding exactly what he was asking for. Choso wasted no time, running his fingers over your clothed pussy. You shut your eyes, quivering as you felt him graze your sensitive clit, wanting for him to pull your panties off and touch you without a barrier. “Can I taste you?” You slowly unveiled your eyes to find Choso begging you with his eyes to allow him the pleasure of eating you out. You nodded zealously, getting off his lap, standing in front of him as he remained seated.

Choso pulled your dress off, slowly exposing you to him. “I can’t belive how beautiful you are.” He ran his eyes over your body, adorned by some cute purple, lace lingerie, making him grin adoringly. It seemed that you knew by now he loved that color on you. As much as he loved the way you looked in the little piece you decided to wear for him, he needed it off. Now.

He attempted to undo your bra, needing your assistance due to his lack of experience, making you giggle. He slowly pulled the bra off, revealing your naked breasts to him. He couldn’t help himself from ogling your breasts like a pervert, he had wanted to see you fully nude for such an extended period of time— he was going to enjoy every minute of it.

The curve of your waist was inviting him run his hands through it until they reached your hips and with that he pulled you closer to him, until your breasts were close enough to his face. He took one of your perky nipples in his mouth, sucking like he was starved while he pulled gently on your other nipple. He moved his other hand down to your cunt to rub on your clit over the thin fabric, while simultaneously stimulating your sensitive nipples. It was too much for you, moans flew out of your mouth unstoppably. You were incredibly wet.

He moved on to suckle on your other nipple, enjoying the taste of your skin thoroughly. He released your nipple with a wet pop, yearning to taste your juices on his tongue. He hooked his finger on your panties before pulling them down in a swift motion. He pushed you gently onto your bed. He spread your legs apart, groaning at the sight of your sopping wet cunt. “Such a pretty little pussy. I’ve always wanted to have my mouth right here.” Choso expressed as he placed a finger on your clit, always begging for his attention. “You don’t know how many times I’ve jerked off watching you touch yourself.” He let the confession slip out before he could stop himself.

“You’ve watched me touch myself? That’s so fucking hot!” You threw your head back as he started rubbing consistent circles on you clit. He decided he had teased himself long enough and it was finally time to taste you. He started by giving you a long lick, dragging his inexperienced tongue upwards from your entrance towards your clit, his eyes rolling to the back of his skull as he delighted himself with your taste for the first time. He stilled for a moment before attacking your clit with his mouth. With your guidance he was able to lick at just the right spot, earning breathy moans from you. You chanted his name as he licked your sensitive bud with no plans on stopping until you fed him your nectar.

“Don’t stop, Choso! Put your fingers inside me!” You squeaked out as he quickly complied, your walls squeezing around his fingers and he reached places you’ve never reached with your own fingers. “I’m gonna come soon!” You whined, squeezing his head between your thighs as you arched your back in pleasure.

He speed up the movements of his tongue, delighting himself with the taste of your pussy, thrusting his digits inside you at a rapid pace. He squeezed his eyes shut, moaning into your clit, knowing he was going to make you orgasm with his mouth just like he always desired. Once he felt you clench around his finger tightly he knew it was over. A scream of his name rippled your throat as you let it all out. You shivered as you came down from your, legs trembling in ecstasy. Choso stayed attached to your pussy with his eyes closed, body quivering, lapping up your delightful juices. You had once again made him come in his pants.

Choso stood up from his knees, unfastening his trousers, kicking them off his feet, desperate to finally feel you pussy. You stared at his cum covered cock, taking in his size. “You’re huge, Choso.” You said eyeing him lustfully. The lewd look on your face made his dick stand up completely straight even after having came just now.

You shimmied yourself onto the middle of the bed encouraging him to climb in with you. Choso complied, hungrily contemplating your body. He loved absolutely every part of it. Placing himself on top of you, careful not to crush you with his weight, he pressed his lips against yours, missing the feeling of them. While you were kissing he started grinding his cock against your soaking wet heat. His erect member was in desperate need to be sheathed by your warmth.

Choso grabbed his member by the base, rubbing the tip against your entrance teasingly slow, spreading the cum that coated him all over your pussy. “Push it in, please, Choso.” You begged, voice wavering in desire. Hearing you plead for him awakened something different in him, he no longer felt embarrassed or ashamed about anything. You had accepted him. From this day on you had become officially his and he owned your pretty body. Nothing could stop him now, nobody would take you away from him.

Satisfying your plea, he pushed in, stretching out your tight cunt with his girth. He grunted in pleasure as you engulfed him in your heat, burring his head in the crook of your neck. Your jaw slacked open as you felt his immense size enter you, feeling him in your stomach as he bottomed out. “F-fuck, princess. You feel amazing, s-so tight!” Choso complimented, conscious that he wasn’t going to last at all. Your pussy clenched deliciously around him, a sensation he had never felt before. He knew you’d understand.

“Oh, Choso! You’re so deep inside my pussy!” You managed to babble out, already feeling drunk on his cock. You grabbed onto his space buns, undoing them so you could see him with his hair down and what a great decision that was. This man was gorgeous, his long raven locks falling down his face, giving him a more rugged look. You couldn’t stop the moans that escaped your lips at just the mere sight of him.

Choso whimpered your name, ramming his cock deep inside you at a steady pace. “I don’t think I’m gonna last much longer, princess. I’m s-sorry.” He uttered out shakily, caressing your face lovingly. He started pumping his cock inside you at an inhuman speed feeling his orgasm approaching faster by the second.

“L-let me feel your cum inside me, Choso. Just like you said you wanted in your note!” Your words alone made him quiver out his orgasm with a load groan of your name. He moaned, throwing his head back as your cunt milked his semen out of his, injecting it straight in your womb. You moaned enjoying the warm feeling of his spent filling you up. He continued thrusting erratically and sloppily, stilling inside you, wanting to feel the warmth of your pussy for a little longer.

“I love you so much.” He confessed breathlessly, keeping his head buried in your neck as he caught his breath, relishing the way your body molded into his perfectly. You were meant to be his. Deciding to finally pull out, he hissed as he watched your mixed juices drip out of your hole. This had been the best night of his entire life.

All thanks to you. ♡︎

#yandere #yandere choso #yandere choso kamo #yandere jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #yandere choso x reader #yandere choso kamo x reader #yandere jujutsu kaisen x reader #yandere jjk #yandere x reader #tw: dark content #stalker choso #dark choso #jjk smut #jjk choso #jujutsu kaisen smut #creep choso

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pomefioredove · 2 days

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lily of the valley

bonjour et joyeux premier mai! in france and belgium we give our loved ones lily of the valley flowers on may day to wish them luck in the upcoming year. sooo I thought... why not treat a few of my favorite boys?

summary: gifting them a lily of the valley type of post: headcanons characters: riddle, epel, rook, vil, lilia additional info: platonic or romantic, reader is yuu, reader is gender neutral, not proofread

𝐑𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐞 𝐑𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬

"...Oh? And what's this?"

your first "victim" of the day is none other than the strict and formal Heartslabyul housewarden himself

as a man of tradition, and an enjoyer of flowers, you figure Riddle is the perfect place to start

as you're already well aware of the gardening culture in the Queendom of Roses, you even make an effort to read up on botanical facts about the gift ahead of time, if only to impress him

and... well, you didn't have the time to paint these ones red

or is that only for roses...? these rules can be quite confusing...

When you hand him the gift, he's simply surprised. Flowers? But he doesn't remember asking you for these...?

Riddle inspects the sprig of lilies in his hand, rolling the stem between his fingers as you explain their meaning

and, much to your delight, he's pleasantly receptive

"They're not roses, but... I suppose they're very nice. Thank you,"

𝐄𝐩𝐞𝐥 𝐅𝐞𝐥𝐦𝐢𝐞𝐫

"Now, what's all this for?"

if there's one thing Epel Felmier is absolutely tired of, it's flowers

well... it's not that he hates them, it's just... they're a girly thing, right? not to mention that Vil keeps them everywhere- the lounge, the rooms, he'd bet even that creepy basement under the dorm has a pristine porcelain vase full of the seasonal picks

ah, but flowers from you...?

and ones with a special meaning, no less

he'll never admit it aloud, but he's honored you chose him, of all people, to call a loved one

and so, Epel doesn't fuss too much when you take the liberty of putting the sprig in his front pocket, displaying it like a medal of honor

he might even chuckle at the whole thing

this is almost like something an old couple would do... it reminds him a little of his grandparents, even

"Well... alright. Aren't you as sweet as apple pie today?"

𝐋𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐚 𝐕𝐚𝐧𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐞

"Ah? A gift for me?"

his immediate reaction? how delightful!

how long it's been since he's received flowers like this... ah, they remind him of his youth!

despite his initial excitement, though, Lilia soon becomes far more invested in the meaning behind the gesture than the gesture itself!

he's fostered quite an interest in other cultures and traditions, after all, and he'll be more than glad to listen to you talk about your own for hours, and hours, and hours...

his curiosity is quite charming, isn't it?

perhaps he and his cuteness can convince you to exchange more stories sometime!

Lilia takes such a liking to the tradition, in fact, that he passes it on to Silver, Sebek, and Malleus, giving each a new sprig of lilies with a brief (and somewhat confusing) explanation

(Malleus may have to ask you about that later)

but, of course, Lilia reserves the bragging rights of getting his own flowers directly from you

"Fufufu, I hope this won't be the last time I get flowers from you, Prefect,"

𝐕𝐢𝐥 𝐒𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐞𝐧𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐭

"Oh, my. For me? They're lovely,"

Vil has received wreaths of roses, bouquets of the finest arrangements, even entire rooms full of flowers from devoted fans and management

but... something about the measly little sprig of lilies you're handing him first thing in the morning is all the sweeter

if there's anything he'll give you credit for, it's your taste in flowers. you must have chosen the best of the bunch especially for him, the way it's practically glowing

as soon as he's done admiring your pick, he pins it to his lapel, and keeps it there for the rest of the day

this color just accentuates his uniform so nicely, doesn't it?

and once you're done reciting your knowledge about the flower, he'll be sure to add his own, explaining the symbolism of such a beauty

"Lily of the valley: a return of happiness... Hm, much like yourself, no?"

(he will not elaborate on what he means by that)

but he does have a little spring in his step for the next few hours

"Oh, and, dear? You can be sure to expect ten times as many of these from me at your door next year,"

𝐑𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐇𝐮𝐧𝐭

"Ah, such a lovely shape! you have an incroyable eye for beauty, mon trickster!"

quite frankly, it doesn't matter what day it is; to gift Rook a lovely flower out of the beauty of your heart is enough to send him into a never-ending soliloquy

and now you say these are meant for your loved ones? do you mean to kill him with your thoughtfulness?!

he admires the flower for as long as the day will permit, and then presses it for preservation

he wouldn't want to lose this precious memory, after all!

in fact, he'll frame it riiight next to his bed so he may wake up to the sight of your kindness every morning!

and, just to be sure you know exactly how his heart is overflowing for you, you can expect a poem and dozens of flowers waiting for you on your doorstep the next morning

really... where does he find the time?

if you ask, he'll insist he's only expressing himself to you in the same way you have to him

"I only wish to show my utmost appreciation for your beautiful heart, miel!"

#twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #riddle rosehearts x reader #epel felmier x reader #lilia vanrouge x reader #vil schoenheit x reader #rook hunt x reader #queued

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glitterjay · 1 day

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lover boy — 양정원 YJW | pt.2

genre: opposites attract, good boy!jungwon x popular!reader (fem) college au, semi smau, d!e/kys jokes

taglist: @hollyoongs @moon7jay @wondipity @defnotfertilizedtoesw @kwiwin @dimplewonie @wvnkoi @kissestojapan

note: you can read pt.1 here if you haven't!

DAY 1.

you had to admit you were excited to see what the week would bring for you. the reason why you called jungwon "lover boy" was because he did everything to get his crush to like him back. it was cute if you were being honest, but based on what had happened afterward, you felt like the person didn't deserve jungwon's efforts at all.

he said he'd change, and he's never shown interest in anyone romantically since you met him, let alone after hearing about his past experiences. of course, that happened when he was in high school, but you didn't think it would follow him all the way to his college life.

jungwon was always invested in his classes and work, never really showing his true colors to the world. you, on the other hand, managed to gain a reputation of your own in your field of study. how the two of you clicked so well is anyone's guess, but it was definitely one of the best friendships you had made thus far.

after your first class of the morning was over, you waited in your usual meeting spot for jungwon. it was quite rare for him to be there later than you, but you assumed he had fallen asleep in class or was probably with sunoo doing whatever. it had happened before.

you sat on the small bench under the tree that was just a few steps away. you sighed, stretching your arms a bit after a long, boring lecture. the people walking out of the building dwindled from many to just a few. it made you tilt your head, wondering why your friend wasn't out yet.

suddenly, a pair of hands covered your eyes. it startled you at first, but the cologne that reached your nose gave away the identity of the person behind you.

"jungwon?"

"thats right," he replied.

he removed his hands from your eyes, swiftly placing them under your chin to tilt your head back. he smiled sheepishly, revealing his teeth. your head now rested on his stomach as he stood behind you, caressing your face with his hands.

"lunch is on me today, girlfriend."

his behavior was different from his usual self, but it matched his quiet and serene personality. your last boyfriend matched your crazy and extravagant character, but jungwon was much calmer.

you blushed at the way he had called you "girlfriend." it was different, and you had to admit you liked it. you sat up straight, giving your whole back to him.

"great! i didn't bring any money today, so i was going to ask you to pay anyway."

he knew you were lying, but he wouldn't admit that.

as you both began walking, you noticed how his hand hesitantly tried to grab yours. despite jungwon bringing up the challenge himself, it was cute to see him being nervous. you, being your bold self, took his hand in yours, smiling when his head instantly turned to look at your way.

"Couples hold hands. Isn't that right, boyfriend?"

yup, you probably guessed it right. it will have 7 parts for each day of the week. feedback is very much appreciated, whether its a comment, a reblog, or an ask—anything helps!

#— ✿ c's work!#enhypen #enhypen smau #enhypen au #enhypen imagine #enhypen x reader #enha smau #enha imagine #engene #kpop #yang jungwon #jungwon #enhypen jungwon #jungwon x reader

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vanya-evergreen · 3 days

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How to remember. (chapter 2)

<Prev

Relationship: BatFam x reader (platonic)

Summary: At the age of 11, you woke up in an other world without any guidance and all the money you once lacked. You were left with only your memories and your other memories.

You tired to remember, their life, but it seemed like they didn't want you too. So when trying to navigate the intricate sides of an elite school , but you always got in trouble when it came to faces and names.

CW: life threatening situation, panic, knife, blood (no death)

No use of y/n

Wc:6k

A/N- Prologue will be posted in a few days., this is chapter was originally written with out the outline but got one halfway through so if there are inconstancies please tell me.

“Welcome the 9 pm GBC News, we are currently following batman and robin while they pursue-” Click

You are hanging upside down on your couch, clicking through the local news channels trying to find the best view of the chase. Your laptop was discarded besides you. It’s open to an article from years ago about Dick Grayson ‘soaring through’ the annual charity ball on the chandler when he first was adopted into the Wayne family. There were multiple other browsers open, all on the Wayne Family and their lucrative businesses and charities, along with their scandals too.

You said you would do your research.

Your attention was taken away from this ‘research’ as a new alert about Batman and Robin chasing some nameless villain, who had kidnapped some poor boy, on founders island came up. No new station could find a good angle, you were annoyed.

“Damn you!” you toss the remote to the other side of the coach, quickly you flip yourself around to sit up right. You push your feet out to propel yourself off of the coach. You mumble about how they do it on purpose, they were trying to make you read their shit article. You had to wait for social media to do its thing of supplying you with clips of your favorite heroes (well not absolute favorites). You look around the apartment, for something new or interesting but nothing. Now, your apartment was nothing to overlook, it always seems to have been updated without you knowing. It always had the latest tech, or trendiest look. You have been rich for 7 years now and still can't seem under it.

You walk over to the floor to ceiling windows, looking down you see people walking home or to a club, taxis and cars driving in opposite directions. Slowly the news faded to the back of your mind.

Nights in Gotham were always busy, especially near Old Gotham. It was rich with history and culture, and also money too. When you first woke up in this world you wanted to visit every place possible. You went to museums, office buildings, the GCDP nearby, and shops you had never even heard of. You used to stand out on the corner of the street watching the luxury cars pass by, while your ‘Assistant’, Val Miller, carried bags from the toy store you frequented, or the candy stores you couldn’t help but indulge in. You looked up at the neighboring building, the neon lights danced in your eyes. There was one that always caught your eye.

You went into that office building, or Wayne tower, once. You were dressed like a typical kid or preteen, you wouldn’t stop looking at all the expansive interior.The front desk workers thought it was the funniest thing that a kid was excited to be there. They gave you a small tour of the base floor level and let you answer some calls. It was great for you. You were just a kid when you came here, and even now you are just a kid. Everything was new and shiny to you.

This place is a far cry from your home near the east end of gotham. There was a high rate of villain bases and criminal activity in your area. While it wasn’t the safest environment for you as a child, it is what you knew. It’s where you learned to survive, how to live. So you tried your best to protect your small place of peace, your shabby second floor apartment. Full of splitters waiting to happen and ready to cause a concussion at any moment, it was far from ideal, but it had running water, gas, and occasionally heat. You lived with your mother, she was a brilliant flash of light in the darkest corner of Gotham. While she was no saint, she did what she could with what she had.

“___” a gravelly voice with an Australian accent called you. You snap back to reality quickly. You turn your head to see Val holding a dish of food for you. “You're doing it again.” He doesn’t really have the butler look, well built, around mid to late 40’s (you never found the right time to ask) and as many people have said he’s a DILF, even though he isn’t a dad.

When you ‘first’ met him when you woke up here, you felt weird calling him your butler, as you had suddenly become rich. You told him that you call him advisor, but he refused. You fought a bit with him on this. In the end, you started calling him your assistant instead, he didn’t like this but dealt with it.

“Yeah, I know.” You nod, you turn back to the window. “What should I be doing instead? My school work?” You say with an assumed grin. You had already finished all the school work available.

“You should be eating.” he steps closer and shoves the dish into your hand. “If you want to return home you need food, think of a way to do that.” you look down at the food. He was one of few people that knew some of your predicament. You wish it was only you who knew anything, but it did make blending in easier.

“I was going to get Batburger later.” You push the food around, you know it tastes good. You just feel bad for eating food that never felt like it was made for you.

“Yeah,” he places a hand on your head “but you have had it every night for the past week.” he smiles, pushing your head down while messing with your hair. “So if you don’t want me to put you on house arrest this weekend, I recommend you eat up.”

“Okay.” You begrudgingly agree, taking a few bites. It was, of course, amazing. You went back to your laptop, scrolling through the gossip article as you ate. You reloaded the page.

“How was school today?” He sits down on the opposite side of the couch, the news still going on in the background. “And don't just say that it was school;” he cracked a smile as he did a horrible imitation of your voice “give me a real answer.”

“Well, uh I met someone new today” You say while you are reading about him and his entire family tree. “It was kinda a rough start though.”

“Oh wow! That's the most I have ever gotten out of ya!’ You gave him a look, he backed off “How was it a ‘rough start’?”

You take a few more bites of your food, you reload the page hoping for some newer article to pop up. You read through the titles. “Uh well I ran into him, and didn’t properly apologize,” Val bursts out with laughter, “we fought a bit, we had the classic ‘i don't know your family’ talk.” you say absently mindly, you are stuck on one particular headline. “ I apologized later and we talked a bit.”

“Well that's just funny.” He struggles to regain his composure, “So who was he?” He smiled to himself.

“Damian Wayne.” you read the headline again, ‘ insider look ahead for the outfit for the yearly wayne enterprise charity ball…’ You clicked on the article and skimmed through the first paragraphs, ‘held at Wayne tower…’. Now you just felt stupid. You look from your computer to ask Val a question, but he seemed to blank at the mention of Damian. “So uh- did where is the mail? I am expecting something.” you interrupted Val’s internal monologue.

“It’s on the table,” he blinks a few times, “he didn’t recognize you right?” you get up from the couch and walk to the dining table.

“You and I both know what I will say to that.” You look back at him with an indifferent look. You find a pile of mail on the table, wow it had to be at least years worth of mail. Note to self, read the mail.’ you begin to go through the mail mountain.

“Okay, but how did you tell him? Does he only know your name?” You look up for a moment, then look back down. You started sorting the mail into several piles.

“He knows my name and that I have an engineering class” You find mostly spam and some magazines you don’t remember signing up for, but about half through the pile you find an envelope with an elegant print of the front reading ‘Wayne enterprises’ You tear it open.

“Okay, but did you not know the Wayne family?” Val walked over to the other side of the table trying to get a glance at what you are reading. “Aren't you from Gotham in the other world too?”

“Another question you already have an answer to.” The card was a few months ago, it was an invite to this weekend Charity ball, it had no RSVP deadline. Maybe you will cause some chaos this weekend. You put that card to the side and start pulling out every envelope with a similar appeal to it. There were about 5 in the past year sent to you.

“What are you expecting today?” Val picked up an envelope and looked over it. He turns it over and starts picking at the wax seal. You quickly take it from his hands and flip it over to the front. It was another card from the Waynes, but much more recent.

“Don't you know it's a federal crime to open mail not addressed to you?” You tear it open, disregarding the care put into sealing it. ‘Another invite to the ball thing.’ You picked up the first one sent a few months ago. You could tell based on the wording the newer one seemed more of a notification that your attendance was expected then a pleasant reminder of an event you could go to. “Damn.”

“What?” Val tries to read the card but you close it and toss it on the ground.”What so wrong?” you walk away as He picks up the card.

“ It seems like I have something to do this weekend.” You flop back down on the couch, and pick up your phone to call someone. Val makes a face at the card.

“ ‘Wayne enterprise is excited for you to be in attendance of this year's Charity ball, we can not wait to see you’ “ He reads aloud, “did you rsvp to this?” he didn’t seem as energetic as before.

“No,” You dial the number of the other assistant. “I didn’t even see it until tonight.” They pick up rather quickly “Hey Percy, yeah it’s been awhile. I need clothes for an event.” you bite your fingernails, Percy was less than happy with you.”Yeah I know, but i didn’t know i was going until like 3 minutes ago.” They nag you for a while , “what event? Uh- The Wayne charity ball…” It was quiet on the other line for a good while, then they scream into the phone. “Calm down please! I just need to know if you do it or not. You can? Really? Thank you so much!”

“Wow, they are in their mid 30’s and already growing white hair from you.” Val puts the card on the table, then turns towards you. “Why do you have to go?”

“Well, they are expecting me.” Precy hangs up on you. You turn off your phone and place it on the table. “Plus I think it’s about time I understand more about my family.”

“There is no way for me to stop you, is there?” Val places a hand on the edge of the couch and leans on it.

“Nope!” You get up and grab your phone, leaving your mostly eaten food and laptop to be disregarded until tomorrow. Then turn off the tv. “And seeing as I have stuff today and tomorrow now, I am going to sleep so I recommend you do the same.” You tease.

“Mhm, like you're going to sleep at only 10 pm.” you walk past val and stick your tongue out “Hey!” he tries to grab you shoulder but you are already running up the stair.

“See you tomorrow Val!” You cheerfully shout down the stairs as you shut your door.

Your room is dark, only illuminated by light of the city shining through your window. The room itself was large, too large in your opinion, with a king size bed in the middle, and the bathroom on the right with an attached walk-in-closet. You have a full computer setup with multiple screens on the adjacent wall centered between the fireplace and window. Yeah, this world’s you is, probably, fucking loaded. You didn’t really do much with the setup, honestly it just appeared one day. You asked Val and Percy about it but they had nothing to do with it. So just like the apartment being renovated randomly, you have a computer set up worth at least 10 k. You are really out of touch with what happens here.

The room wasn’t lifeless, there were photos of the other, but younger. They all seemed formal, and posed. A few awards from competitions they did, academic achievements too. It was too stiff for you. Now don't think you haven’t put some stuff up. Some Batman stuff you had collected for fun, some posters, a few photos of You Val and Precy from your past birthdays, and more photos of your friend group throughout the years. You have some leftover stuff from your past hobbies you tried to fill the boredom (tennis wasn’t as fun as it seemed), plants that have lived despite you forgetting to water them. Overall, the room didn’t feel like your space entirely but it did have that piece of you in it, so it was better than most of the apartment.

You are still in your school uniform. You know it would probably be best to shower tomorrow but you just need something to feel a bit better because last minute plans aren’t really your thing. You walk into the bathroom and turn on the light, it was covered in marble for whatever reason, rich people shit. You took off your school jacket and turned on the shower. You wait for the shower to warm up then hop in. The school weeks feel like they are getting longer as you reach closer to the end of the school year, and the end of your high school career. That was even scary to think about.

You didn’t have a plan for after high school, or atleast beyond going to gotham university or whatever university who would send you a letter about possibly joining their program. GCU was more likely just because it's easier for your plans, but who knows? Maybe you should leave and explore the world a bit. You can’t remember the last time you had a vacation outside of New jersey.

After you finished, your muscles felt relaxed and the fact you got to your closet was unbelievable to you. You picked out some pajamas and put them on. Your mom always wanted you to explore the world rather than being tied to Gotham like her. It wasn’t all that realistic because you didn’t have the connections or the money. You and her would daydream together talking about all the things and places you would see. Her smile was infectious to you, it was warm and sweet. She was a good parent, well when she was there. You splash water on your face and wash your face. Then brush your hair and teeth.

You stare out the window for a bit, you recall your mom used to tell you about something similar to the view in front of you. You were too young to know anything about your mom’s past but you did know that she wasn’t always poor and that she willingly left that life to protect you from whatever it is. You love her even now.

You fall on to the bed, it feels nice after a long day. You pick up your phone and scroll through social media looking for clips of Batman and Robin. They are still chasing the man, but they are closer to your area now. You watched some clips of the duo swing around the city. Wow this guy is giving them some trouble tonight. The clips are a lot better than what the news was putting out earlier, that just the power of the fans, it was scary.

You scroll through videos and pictures of them, while most were blurry it was still super cool to see them in action. You find a live stream from a drone of Batman and Robin fighting in a familiar building. You watch for 15 minutes, until the man leaps from that build to a lower one. ‘No fucking way-’ You sit up in your bed to see the foot of the man coming toward your window.

Crash

Instinctively you raise your arms to cover your face from the glass. You lower your arms and see there are 3 more people in the room. That man is in the same room as you. Batman and Robin are in the same room as you.

The man points a gun at you from across the room, and very quickly your sleepy mind wakes up. Batman throws a batarang hitting the gun, it falls to the ground and slides across the ground. Robin takes the man by surprise when he grabs him by his shirt and knocks him on the side of the head. Robin gets in a few more punches before the man pulls back his head and headbutts Robin. Making Robin lose his grip on him. He wasn’t free for long.

Batman had slipped behind Robin and the man after the second punch. The man pulls a smoke bomb out of his jacket and presents it to Batman as the smoke bellows out of it. He attempts to make his escape out the broken window but robin uses his grappling hook to pull him back into the room. The man hits the wall opposite of the window. He looks for any leverage he can get over them. Then he sees you. He rips you from your bed and puts a knife to your neck.

“Don’t move or I will kill them.” the man spoke calmly, he held you tightly against his chest. You straighten your neck trying to avoid the knife on your neck.Batman seems to stare weirdly at you, a look of familiarity.

“I was about to fall asleep, man.” you laughed, this was your poor way of dealing with the possibility of death right in front of your face. Robin makes eye contact with you, he starts reaching for his sword. The man presses the knife closer to your throat, and Batman stops Robin.

“Robin has a sword?” You gawk out. You could see your tombstone now. ‘ ___ ___, their last action was being a fan of batman and robin.’ What a great thing for it to say.

“Let them go.” Batman is as stoic as ever, you love that about batman. You admire his devotion to Gotham and how even in the face of controversy his belief never waver. Batman signals for him to put away the sword.

“But-” Robin tries to argue, Batman and him exchange a look. Robin stalls in putting away his sword but he does eventually.

“What do you want?” Batman's voice cracks ever so slightly. Robin glances at Batman before looking back at you and the man.

“You know what I want” the man laughs, “I want the world to see the truth for once!” Of course it’s a classic case of them thinking they know the truth. They think they have found the dirty truth that the government has hidden from the masses. “They need to know of the birds,” it is about a bird great, “the birds that control the city from right under our noses.” Your skin crawls. “They live in the shadows.” he presses harder on your throat.

You have been in situations like this before, having a knife close to your throat is nothing new to you. You try to keep your focus on Batman and Robin for the moment. Robin seems more defensive than what you have seen in the videos, but everything is downplayed in videos right? Batman, he seems off, like almost you could see the slightest panic in his stance. Batman never shows panic. You have had to read people's body language for all 18 years of your life. From the 11 spent in your original life and 7 here. You have gotten pretty good at accurately reading people's intention and emotions just from a single glance. You know Batman is unsure of what to do here.

“You don’t have to bring innocent civilians into this .” Batman masks his worry well, better than most. Robin wasn’t any better, he looked like he was going to bite the man. Robin did look like a biter.

“You are going to listen to me batman,” Your skin feels like it’s slowly peeling aways from the way the man's words hit your neck,”You are going to let me go, let me get away.” You can hear your heart quicken. “They are going to come with me” Your heart drops. Robin runs up from the side to the man, jumps and tries to kick him in the face and to meet the side of your face instead of the man’s. Robin quickly twists himself mid-air to avoid your face. Then repealing himself off the wall and back to where he was.

While you couldn’t see the man's entire body, you knew that if it was in between him getting away and your life, you would lose. You start spiraling, going down every rabbit hole of possibilities and outcomes. You run through everything, you grasp at every possible combination of words you can say.

“Ha.” was the only sound you can make. A tired, half-assed, chuckle was all you could get out. You take a deep breath in, holding it, you reconsidering your life choices one more time. You know only to do one thing, one really stupid thing.

You scream, full lung scream, that slices the tense air turning it into a fight for your life. Everyone stops. You grab onto the hand of the man that holds the knife and bend forward, still screaming. While the knife presses into your throat, cutting it slightly. You are able to flip the man onto his back. You jump onto him and start throwing punches blindly.

Slowly a ringing in your grew as the punches became more consistent in the force and speed. You notice the man's hand coming towards with the knife. You caught it mid air.

“Ha” You let out another breathy laugh. You regain most of your conscience because of the cut on your hand, but you still feel dazed. You knew that this wasn’t your doing, if you had your mind you would probably be trying to come up with any way of explaining this, but you couldn’t think of that now.

You drop the knife, with your hand bleeding and kick it back toward Batman. You watch the man struggle to get up, you kick the man over and over again with the speed a precision of someone who trained in martial arts. He takes out another hidden knife and goes to stab it in your leg. You grab his hand right as it barely precise your skin. you bring his arm behind his back, rendering him unable to move. He looks over his shoulder, making eye contact with. He smiles at you “you are one of them” You push him deeper in the wall. He was struggling to breathe at this point. You would have killed the man from that force but the ringing in your ear grows quieter and you become more aware.

You loosen up and you rip off a part of your pants and grab his other hand and tie them together. You push the man towards Batman and Robin.

“You must listen to me! The people need to-” The man was cut off by Robin stuffing a tennis ball into his mouth and forcing him into Batman. Batman takes actual cuffs out of his utility belt and cuffs him. Robin kicks the back of knees, making them buckle underneath him. He tries to shout but his words are lost to the void.

Your hands run through your hair, gripping it as you realize you almost killed a man. You are aware of what you did. You knew the other you had studied martial art, but just not to what extent. The golden metals from the age groups far above your actual age should've been a clue. You take a moment to catch your breath before speaking.

“So, what do you want to do while we wait for the police?” You smile nonchalantly, ah yes avoiding the mental pain. You notice the drone is still there. You look into the camera and give it a thumbs up before it flies off. You were going to have to find the clips on social media later.

“Are you okay?” Batman's voice is more stable now, he has his normal serious yet in some way caring tone.

“Yeah,” You reach your hand up to your neck and rub it nervously. You feel something on your hand, so you take your hand off your neck and look down. Batman sees you look at your hand, he grabs it and pulls it towards him. Then look up to your neck to see the smeared red and trickles of blood coming from the earlier cut “ Well, I mean mostly?” you raise your hand that is covered in blood. Batman is unamused, but Robin suppresses a laugh.

“Do you have a first aid kit?” Batman’s voice is completely normal, the intimidating version you are used to hearing is back.

“Yep, go into my bathroom and on the right side there should be a big first aid kit with gauze and all.” You nodded. Batman looks over to Robin who was looking at your pictures and posters, you feel slightly embarrassed. Batman clears his throat causing Robin to turn to him, batman gestures towards the bathroom and robin wordlessly goes.

“What you did wasn't safe.” He was still holding your hand, you felt like a kid who was being scolded by a parent. The man was still attempting to scream, you stick out your tongue out your tongue at the man.

“I know, but it’s what I felt like I had to do.” You look batman in the eyes, if it were any other time you probably wouldn’t have but adrenaline is a funny thing. You weren’t going to falter.

“I was going to get you,” he pauses. “I just needed time.”

“And I am sure you would’ve, but I think the damages would have been much greater than this.” You could see the guilt gnaw away at him. “I just did what I saw fit.” You shrug your shoulders trying to ease his guilt. You were the one who acted on impulse.

“You shouldn’t have too.” he tightened his grip on your hand, it wasn’t uncomfortable, it felt protective. You take your other hand and place it on his. Robin comes back in with a giant first aid kit that looks like it's owned by an ER nurse. Batman looks over to you.

“Can never be too prepared” You shrugged. You were always paranoid about having enough medical stuff. Batman lets go of your hand, unzips the bag and starts treating the wound, it wasn’t deep so no need for a trip to hospital. Robin goes back to the posters and starts looking at them again.

“So are you a fan of us?” He smirks slyly at you as Batman cleans up your wound wide as you look through the kit for gauze. You look up and over at him and the poster he was looking at. ‘What do you think?’

“Yes I am, is that a bad thing?” You questioned slightly annoyed him. You look back to the kit and find both the bandages and gauze. You place it besides Batman who was still cleaning up the blood off your neck.

“No,” Robin moves on from the poster to the photos on the wall, he glances over the picture with your friends, stopping at one of You Val and Percy. Robin grins devilishly to himself, you weren’t sure why. “Who are they? Are they your parents?” Batman stops for a moment and looks at the photos.

You smiled, you liked that photo. It was from your 18th birthday, you thought it was going to be just another photo like the ones before it but Val and Percy had other plans. They took out nerf guns and started shooting you right as the photo was taken, they chased you around the apartment and even outside. You loved the way they smiled in the photos, the way you smiled. You had never had such a smile, you weren't sure if you ever would again. Youall looked so carefree.

“No” you shook your head with a smile resting on your lips,” They technically work for me. They are Val and Percy” Batman eases up a bit and continues to dress your wounds while still listening to your conversation with Robin.

“Hm interesting” Robin turns back toward the wall. He reaches for a gold melt hanging on your wall. His cape moves, exposing his sword in its sheath.

“How long have you had the sword?” You thought the sword looked cool. You don’t know much about swords, but you are sure it's a katana. He pauses and looks down to his sword, he pulls it out and swings it a bit like he is showing it off to you. You give him a small applaud as he brings it closer for you to look at.

“Since I first became robin.” he states proudly, he watches as you look it over. He visibly gets an idea. “Do you want to hold it?” He grins and offers it to you to hold. You are about to grab it but…

“No” Batman interrupts before you even get a chance to vocally respond. He was done cleaning the wound and was just finishing applying the gauze.

“Tt” Robin slides the sword back into the sheathed. You chuckled, robin went back to looking over the walls in your room, and poking around your extra stuff too. Batman focuses on finishing addressing the wounds. You just enjoy the silence. Or well the muffled screaming of the man. You look over to your alarm clock, 1 am. Well Val was right about you going to bed at 10. The police come about 5 minutes later along with Val coming up from his apartment on the lower floors. Val runs over to you, placing his hands on your shoulders. He does a quick once over on you, looking specifically at your neck. The police quickly take Batman and Robin to the side to speak to him first. Batman and Robin both watch the interaction between you and Val from the corner of his eyes.

“You need to be more careful.” Val uses his hand to move your head from one side to another so that he can get a better look at your neck bandage. You swat his hand away, but he grabs that hand, starts turning it over and pressing down on it.

“I know.” You feel safer now that Val is here. The adrenalin leaves your body as quickly as it came. You walk over to a chair near the fireplace, sitting down right as your knees give out. “I know Val.” your head falls into your hands. It has already been a long day before this, and now it is even longer. The police officer that was talking to Batman approaches.

“My name is Jim Gordon. I am the police commissioner of the GCPD. I want to ask you a few questions.” You lift up your head from your hand for a moment to get a better look at him. He seemed worried about You letting your head fall back into your hands, as you gestured for him to sit down in the seat across from him. “So can you walk me through what exactly happened in your point of view?” there is a comforting quality to his voice, he probably sees some kid who just fought for their life.

You aren’t legally a kid but that doesn’t matter to him, in his eyes everyone your age is a kid. “Well-” You walk through the entire encounter, with a little too much detail. “And the man is still screaming about the fucking birds.” you say with a deadpan face, you are too tired, at this point. They were just taking away the man right now after some questioning done by Robin, they didn’t get much from him, he was too far gone.

“Well.” Gordon clears his throat “that must’ve been very hard to deal with.” He writes down everything you said. Batman and Robin standing over Gordon as Val stands behind you. You stare at the floor just fighting to stay awake to see them out. “ Where did you learn to fight?”

“Uh- I did some material arts when I was younger, not sure for how long though.” You rub your eyes and lift your head from your hands. You see the way both of the men were confused by your answer. ‘Shit right, switching worlds.’ “Oh uh right. I have a hard time recalling details at times.” This was a horrible lie. ” memory issues. But I am pretty sure I did it for 4-5 years, I assume it’s just kinda committed to muscle memory.” you tried explaining. “They did it for 5 years, between the ages of 5 and 10..” Val interjects “They are really good at it, winning several medals as you can see.” he gestured towards the walls. He saw how you need some help in keeping your stories straight. You are really grateful for him, even if he does nag you far too much. Gordon eyes Vals and writes something, Batman Glares at Val, he didn’t seem to like him for some reason.

“So what is your relation with the man behind you?” Gordon asks, he looks over his glasses and studies val.”Is he your legal guardian?” Val looks away from them and out the window.

“No, I have no legal guardian” Batman goes to speech but you put a hand up telling him to let you finish. “I have no need for one seeing as I am a legal adult. So I have no need for one, any more.” Gordon writes this down and looks back to Val who was still looking away.

“Okay well that’s all my question,” he puts the notebook away and gets up from the chair, Batman silently watches Val still, while robin chuckles to himself. “The window will be replaced by tomorrow, but for now I recommend you stay elsewhere for the night.”

“Thank you for your concern,” You got up from your chair. “But I am going to stay here tonight, because apparently, My presences is expected somewhere tomorrow.” you say in a mockingly formal voice. Robin and Batman stares get more intense. “Or well that’s what it said in the vaguely threatening letter.”

“I don’t think you should go,” Val sighs. “But there is no stopping you once you have made up your mind”, you make eye contact with him, he is concerned. You think he worries too much.

“You know me so well.” You smile weakly. Robin and Batman seem to have many questions, well based on robin's opened mouth, but you were tired “if you are done here i would like to rest now.”

“Well of course, we should all get going now,” Gordon signals for his team to wrap up their stuff. They clean up the glass from the window and pack up their things and leave quietly. Batman and Robin stick around, they seem to have something to say.

“Are you sure you're alright staying here?” Batman sternly askes, you internally roll your eyes. “It's very dangerous staying in an open window.”

“I know, and that's why I am going to sleep on the couch.” You are just trying to get them to leave as fast as possible, you have every intention of sleeping in this room. “It's pretty comfortable.”

“Where do you have to be tomorrow?” Robin's question was out of the blue, you were really sure why he felt the need to know. This kinda reminded you of Damian’s interrogation, you didn’t really feel the need to answer robin like you did damian.

“You will see.” Your answer was vague but truthful, that must be a talent of yours. Being vaguely truthful. “I am sure of it” You can already see the clip from the live stream going viral overnight. You can’t wait to see how they react when they see the same person in media photos of Wayne ball.

“But-”

“Robin, that's enough.” Batman cutoff robin. Finally he understood that you are tired, and are trying to get them to leave in the nicest way possible.. “We have to go make sure the kid returned home safely.” Robin mutters as he shoots his grappling hook out the broken window. Batman stared at you and Val for a moment longer. “Enjoy whatever you are doing tomorrow.” You wave goodbye as Batman follows robin out the window.

Val comes up behind you and turns you around to face him. “They are gone, you can let go.” You clench your fists tightly, your breath grows more inconsistent. You look down when you feel a tear fall down your cheek. Val puts his hand on your shoulder, he doesn’t know what else to do. You didn't make a sound, you were never a loud crier as a kid, you never felt like you had the right to be. You look up, your face holds no frown or smile, it barely even holds a readable expression. You and Val stand there as your tears fall, you make no attempt to stop them. no loud sobs, nor words of panic, just a silent exchange of understanding between you and him.

Taglist: @problematicreblogger

@mileskisser @hoeinthehouse @luminous011

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thestarsarebrightertonight · 2 days

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oh baby its blue flame // tom riddle x fem reader

"will-o the-wisp, babe oh baby its blue flame!"

playlist : blue flame - lesserafim

summary : tom is cold and closed off , theres something off about him and most people know that. so why are you so drawn to him like a moth to the flame?

ravenclaw reader , use of y/n , tom is nicer, AU he isnt voldemort or evil LMAO

"youre staring again. even a blind man could see youre staring." your best friend cassandera stated blankly , sat next to you in potions and watching you stare dreamily at a very focused tom riddle.

"i cant help it! hes just so handsome and interesting dont you think?" you whispered back , trying not to gain the attention of mindlessly waffling slughorn.

"handsome? 100%. interesting? more like terrifying!" she whispered back.

you rolled your eyes at this , "i dont get why everyone is so scared of him , hes beautiful and polite."

"yeah well the devil was once beautiful too," she mumbled in dissaproval as you gasped dramatically.

"you did not just compare him to the devil!" you gaped in suprise and slight amusement.

"he seemed pretty devilish when he took away house points because we were in the corridors one minute after cerfew!!" she whisper shouted , reliving the anger she felt when a uninterested tom riddle took away 10 points each from us.

"that was kinda mean of him," you nodded in quiet contemplation.

"oh dont act like you were upset- you admired him and said 'yes tom' like a lovesick puppy!" she scoffed.

"its not my fault the darkness of the corridor made his complexion a little more angelic than usual!" you shrugged as you both gigged.

"miss y/l/n , question 4?" slughorn asked , snapping you back into the harsh reality that you were currently meant to be doing potions.

"huh? oh uhh...well....pheonix feather?" you asked timidly as the whole class laughed only to be shushed by slughorn who held a disapproving look.

"maybe you would know the question if you werent so focussed on talking to miss cassandera." he shook his head as you sheepishly apoligised ,"mr riddle do you have a question?"

you eyes shot to tom who had his hand up , awaiting slughorns attention.

"amortentia," he stated simply as slughorn nodded , stating he was correct. you watched tom for a second longer , startled when his eyes looked at you , a visible smirk on his lips.

you widened your eyes in suprise and looked away quickly , startled and nervous.

"please tell me you saw that." you said sternly , staring forward at nothing as cassandera who did the same nodded with an equally shocked face.

"he smirked." she stated as you nodded.

"and it was hot."

---

later that day you sat on a stone bench , reading with cassandera beside you doing the same thing, until you were interrupted by a shadow blocking the sun that shone on you just seconds before.

groaning in frustration you look up to see who had blocked your light , completely paralysed in shock to see tom riddle looking down at you.

"i thought ravenclaws were smart. however you dont seem to even have the capacity of focusing in lesson." he said so coldy you felt a chill run down your spine.

"what? i...i just got distracted." you stuttered , flustered by his presence and rudeness.

"by me." he stated simply making a bright blush heat up your cheeks , "youd be suprised how easy it is to hear someone sat two rows behind you in a relitively silent classroom."

your whole body burned in embrassament as cassandera pretended to be interested in the floor , secretly listening to the conversation you had with tom.

"oh merlin i- im so sorry i-" you stuttered , not even wanting to make eye contact.

"your confidence was endearing." he again said so blankly , "itd be a shame if i found you in the corridor after cerfew tonight, no? id have to deduct points no doubt."

you were shocked by his flirting? what in the world is happening.

"yeah itd be a shame, i do have a lot of homework to catch up with at the library , i worry it could run over cerfew," you finally looked back up and regained your lost confidence.

he looked down , a faint smirk on his face , "funny thing i cover the librarys corridor. see you then."

he then walked away again , leaving the courtyard and disappearing into the crowds , leaving you to gape after the ghost of his presence.

"i never thought that man would be capable of flirting. never." cassandera muttered in pure shock , both of your jaws on the floor.

"i need to go to the library." you said throwing the book you held and grabbing your satchel in a hurry before walking away.

"hell yeah you do , run bitch!" cassandera happily cheered for you from the bench.

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daiziesssart · 1 day

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a humiliatingly long character analysis of lily evans

Someone sent me an ask that briefly mentioned how misunderstood Lily is, and before I knew it I was typing out this monster. I am. sorry. This is literally just me rambling about her, what I find compelling about her character, and why her character is so often misunderstood.

This is long as hell so I'm putting it under a read more lolol

Part of the reason I like Lily so much (other than my being ginger and projecting onto any redheaded female character I see) is that even though she isn’t explored as much as her other Marauders Era counterparts, we know enough about her to start building the framework for her character. And what I see is a girl who was incredibly interesting, kind, and flawed.

One thing I always think about in regards to Lily is that she was dealt with a pretty unfair hand. As soon as she receives her letter, she’s basically torn between two worlds, both of which have been less than welcome to her. On one hand, we have the muggle world that she’s known all her life, but once she starts integrating into the wizarding world, she likely feels a bit of a disconnect with that world. To twist the knife further, her sister- whom she loved dearly and grew up so close with- starts outwardly resenting her with such unbridled hostility that they likely couldn’t even be in a room alone together without major conflict.

On the other hand, we have the wizarding world– a world she’s not as familiar with and one she soon learns holds a demographic of people who hate everything she is and would rather see her excommunicated or even dead. And even though finding out you’re a witch/wizard is probably such an exciting and life-changing moment, I can’t help but also take note of the difficulties, especially if you’re the only one in your family with magic. You’re essentially uprooted from the only way of life you’ve known at an already complicated age, and now you have to quickly become acclimated to this new world that you only just found out existed. Not only that, but now you’re suddenly attending a school with classes that are primarily focused on this world of magic (which is still brand new to you), and you have to work extra hard to play catch up in order to do well. Like, that all seems like… a lot for a kid to handle.

And then I remember how young she was when she was thrown into that mess. She was only 11, and kids that age desperately crave any sense of belonging. I mean, that’s something that still holds true for adults, but it’s especially critical for a developing child. So imagine Lily, ages 11-15, struggling to stay afloat in this weird purgatory between these two parts of herself, both of which have been the cause for major and traumatic experiences relating to rejection in her life.

(I say it was the “cause” even though it’s obvious that those things were never her fault at all, but when you’re a young kid navigating the world, the only thing you’re able to process is that the common denominator is you, therefore you’re the one who must shoulder the blame.)

So now we have this tween-teenaged girl who has a dysfunctional relationship with two major parts of identity and probably feels absolutely lost.

This is why her hesitancy to end her friendship with Snape makes sense to me. Even though by fifth year he’s already well past toeing the line with the dark arts, Lily was willing to overlook some pretty egregious and troubling things in order to maintain the relationship. I kind of interpret that as her way of desperately clinging on to any sense of belonging she has left; her relationship with Petunia has already been poisoned, and now there are people who resent her existence as a witch; if she loses Severus too, what and who else does she have? And what tone does that set for her, if everyone and everything she’s come to hold close to her ends up turning her away?

It’s also important to note that not only is Severus one of her few remaining connections to the muggle world, but he’s also a wizard who grew up in the muggle world; he understands her, and I don’t doubt that he gave her some stability at times when she needed it (her finding out about her being a witch, her having trouble acclimating to the wizarding world, etc).

I see this as being one of her flaws and I can actually appreciate how relatable and realistic it feels. Lily is not a bad person; on the contrary, you’d be hard pressed to find anyone to describe her as such. Not to get all clinical and boring, but the interesting thing about (unhealthy) coping mechanisms is that it can actually be really hard to identify them in your own behavior. Unless you’re in therapy and/or are actively psychoanalyzing yourself, you likely don’t even realize how many of your common behaviors are born from self defense mechanisms put in place by your brain after past events.

To me, it makes sense why she avoided actually confronting the idea that Snape was too far gone. We know that she was aware of the path Severus was taking, but it almost seems like she was still convinced that she could save him, and could possibly steer him back in the right direction. It’s only when she becomes the target of his bigotry that she realizes that the Snape who called her a ‘mudblood’ was not the same Severus who was the one who held her hand and introduced her to this new, exciting world.

In a general sense, yes, it is selfish, to only take a stand when something starts affecting you personally. But I also think it’s important to note that it’s unlikely that this was a conscious decision on Lily’s part. In my eyes, it was easier to delude herself into thinking she still had a chance to save him before it was too late when she was able to separate him from his actions (considering, a lot of the time, she was only hearing about them after the fact, rather than seeing them firsthand). But the elusion is shattered once she sees that the Snape she grew up with– her friend, Severus– is, in fact, the same person who’s out there calling other students slurs, dismissing the malicious use of Dark Magic on others as just “a laugh”. There we see a Lily who is actually revealed to have been somewhat aware of Snape’s involvement with the darker side of magic, and genuinely feels pretty ashamed about her inaction.

Also, this is in no way me being a Snape-anti, and I actually could do an entire separate analysis on his character alone and why I find him so interesting.

Anyways, that moment in SWM is probably somewhat of an epiphany to her. It’s like a dam that’s been broken, and now she’s overwhelmed with the realization of exactly how much she overlooked in order to keep their friendship afloat. And for someone like Lily Evans, someone whom we know is opinionated and unafraid to call others out on their bullshit, that can be hard to swallow and feel pretty mortifying and shameful. And I think this was a huge turning point for her- at that point, she doesn’t have the luxury of avoiding uncomfortable truths anymore and now that she’s getting closer to graduating and being thrown out into the world on the brink of war, this was probably a really sobering discovery.

This is where we don’t have as much info to go off of, and a lot of it is up to interpretation. But we actually have little crumbs to go off of following her graduation and leading up to her death.

One of my favorite little tidbits isn’t in the books, and @seriousbrat's post reminded me about it. Here's the actual entry on Pottermore for anyone who's interested, but I'll summarize: after James and Lily began dating, Lily brings James to meet newly engaged Petunia and Vernon. Everything goes downhill, because Vernon is a smarmy asshole, and James is still pretty immature and can’t help but mess with him (which… fair, I guess). Petunia and Vernon storm out after Petunia letting Lily know that she had no intentions of having her as a bridesmaid, which causes Lily to break down into tears. I mention this because I also think it’s a pretty important aspect of her character; like we’ve seen in her past friendship with Snape, Lily seems more than willing to forgive others most of the time. Petunia is a bit of a complicated character herself, but she was objectively very cruel and unfair to Lily once it became obvious that she was a witch and Petunia was not.

Something that always stands out to me is just how desperate Lily is to earn Petunia’s trust and approval again. Even up until her death, she was more than willing to mend the relationship, were Petunia ever to consider.

This is a detail about Lily that I feel is misunderstood quite a bit. I’ve seen a lot of instances of her character being reduced to a one-dimensional archetype with little to no complexity. And often, that archetype is “know-it-all, prudish, self righteous bookworm who is also a goody two-shoes with a stick up her ass”. What annoys me is that the reason for this is most definitely the scene in which she blows up at James in SWM for bullying Snape, and hurls quite a few insults at him directly after an extremely devastating and overwhelming situation for her. This frustrates me because we know for a fact that she’s the polar opposite of this archetype I’ve seen her reduced to.

In actuality, she’s referred to as popular, charming, witty, bright and kind. From flashbacks we also are shown that she’s opinionated, bold, and not afraid to challenge others. With other context, like her interpersonal relationships, we can also see that she’s pretty emotionally driven and wears her heart on her sleeve.

(I know Remus didn’t mention Lily much in the books, but I really love how he described her in the movies. He tells Harry that the first thing he noticed about him was not his striking resemblance to his father, but his eyes, the same eyes Lily had. He also calls her a “singularly gifted witch” and an “uncommonly kind woman”.

“She had a way of seeing the beauty in others, even and perhaps most especially, when that person could not see it in themselves.”

I know there are mixed feelings on whether or not the films count as canon source material, so take it with a grain of salt, but I personally cannot see a world in which Lily and Remus didn’t become close friends.)

Here we have a direct description of what she was like and who she was, corroborated by recounting of memories of her, and yet for some reason, this feels like the thing that is most commonly lost in translation.

I don’t think I can say why I think that is without mentioning the dreaded M word (misogyny- it’s misogyny), but I also don’t want to get too off topic so I’ll be brief: female characters are typically not given the same grace as male characters. When we have an undeveloped male character, he’s awarded the assumption that despite his lack of depth, there still exists a complex and multifaceted character– it’s merely just potential that hasn’t been tapped into. Whereas when we have underdeveloped female characters, they are taken at face value, meaning that not much exists beyond the little information we have of them. They are not presumed to have a life or a story that exists beyond the surface of what we know like male characters are. That’s why I think characters like Regulus, Evan, or Barty (just to name a few) are more popular than Lily, despite being less developed than she is.

(Before anyone gets defensive, no, I don’t think it’s an individual problem that you alone need to be shamed for. I think it’s the result of a deeper issue regarding misogyny in media as a concept; these are things that we’ve all unknowingly internalized and while it’s not our fault, we still have to do the work to deconstruct those learned prejudices.)

What I find really cool about her character is that despite how much she’s been hurt, she’s also still known as one of the most loving, kind, and considerate characters. There were so many times in her life where the love she received was conditional and ripped away from her– and I think that’s what makes her sacrifice even more poignant. She was able to protect her infant son from an extremely powerful dark wizard, wand-less, knowing that her husband was just murdered in cold blood, just from how much love she felt for Harry. Her love was a force of nature on its own, and I just think that’s such an amazing thing about her.

I know I’m biased, given that she’s one of my favorite characters, but even upon delving into this, I still just find it so incredibly hard to understand how anyone can actively hate her (not indifference, but actual dislike). In my opinion (again, no one is unbiased, and she is a favorite character of mine, but trust me when I say that I’m trying to be objective as possible when I say this), she’s probably one of the most likable characters of the Marauders Era. I think perhaps a lot of people haven’t given her a chance or really taken the time to learn about her character, but it could be a myriad of other reasons that I’ll never understand.

There's so much more I could say but this is long enough and I will stop myself

Lily Evans, u will always be famous to me

#lily evans #character analysis #harry potter #i am a little embarrassed that i got so invested in this. i hope at least one person enjoys this insane essay that no one asked for

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rebelliousstories · 2 days

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Bounty

Relationship: Cooper “The Ghoul” Howard x Reader

Fandom: Fallout

Request: Yes by @silverose365

Warnings: Fluff, Strong Language, Mentions of Death and Killing

Word Count: 1,386

Main Masterlist: Here

Fallout Masterlist: Here

Summary: When a bounty comes in, Cooper is intent on cashing in. The caps they were offering were worth it. How in the hell does she stay a head of him?

The bounty that came in a little over an hour ago peaked The Ghoul’s interest. A very basic description of a female, but with a unique name; Kitten. Her real name was not known, or just not given. Although if it was known, that would have helped in finding her so maybe people just really did not know.

He waited around her last known location and watched the people move by. Cooper did not see anything out of the ordinary, but people were quick to offer up information to The Ghoul. Kitten was last seen heading west, towards Filly. He set out towards the city and kept an eye out for his target. Checking in different abandoned buildings for a clue, he found nothing.

The day trek to Filly meant he was getting there right as the sun set on the horizon and the lights lit up the city. Howard let his eyes rake over the crowd while people moved out of his way. Ducking into a shop was the hair of a familiar person. His target. The woman stayed in that shop for who knows how long, but Cooper was patient. He just waited for her to return, but when a second hour went by and she had yet to come out, he was starting to lose that patience.

“Hey, Ghoul!” The shopkeeper yelled, stepping out from the safety of his doors. Howard poked his head up and felt it was almost comical how people stopped at the call.

“Have a package for you.” Cooper made his way into the shop, with his spurs clinking, and ducked into where he found the girl he was hunting. A small box laid on the counter, and he examined it while the keeper eyes him wearily. Inside, there was a dozen vials of chems waiting for him. And a note that read;

~Must be a huge bounty to get you involved, Ghoulie. Enjoy your present.

He chuckled as he slipped the note and chems into his saddle bag and went to go leave through the back. There, Howard found her footprints and tracked them through the night. But eventually, sleep did call to him. So he tucked his hat over his eyes and laid down against a boulder he found alongside of the trail.

By month two, even Cooper was questioning his sanity. He had been tracking the target for a solid sixty days and was starting to purposefully hold himself back from capturing her. In the past eight weeks, The Ghoul had taken out two other people that wanted to collect on her bounty, only to be met with the big iron on his hip. And each time, the next day, he found a stash of chems along with a note.

~Thanks for keeping me safe Ghoulie.

~Love knowing I’ve got my own guardian ghoul watching over me from above.

Each time he tucked the notes in close to his chems as a reminder of what he was doing. A couple of times he got to catch a glimpse of her. Very few times though, as she somehow managed to stay a step ahead. Overtime, he thought of this less and less like an unruly and clever contract, but rather like a clever and interesting game to keep him sharp. More little gifts were left for him whenever he got close, or just because he “did not” catch up to her in town. In all honesty, this was the most fun he had in the last few years.

But the small time bounties were drying up, and hers just ket getting bigger and bigger. It was time to close this off, as much as that made Cooper upset to think about. It was just the next day, day sixty-one when he caught a definitive sight of her. Unlatching his rope, and tying a knot, he twirled it round and round before casting the lasso out. It landed snugly around her shoulders and yanked her to the ground. Dragging her in closer, Cooper was puzzled by her lack of fighting the rope off. once she was close enough, he stood over her, with her body in between his feet and her looking at him upside down.

“Damn cowpoke. You just don’t know when to quit.” She giggled, resting her hands against her chest in a leisurely pose.

“You are a real pain in the ass, you know?” Neither one made a move to leave where they were or to do anything about it. That alone made The Ghoul cautious about what she had up her sleeve.

“That’s a kinda mean thing to say when I’ve been leaving you presents and thank you chems along the way.” Sitting up, Cooper scooted away as if she was a wild animal. She slipped the rope up and over her head, before holding a hand out so that Howard could help her up. Ever the gentleman, he reached his own hand down and dragged her up to stand in front of him. She dusted herself off, but made no move to run or hurt him.

“Well, I do appreciate the hospitality darlin’. Although I do have to wonder, since you know who I am, and what I’m here to do. Why you let yourself get caught?” Cooper questioned, eyebrow bridge raising as he quirked one of them up.

“Oh ya know. Just bored.” She replied, looking around. Before Howard could reply, she took off to a house that was no longer occupied.

“You comin’ Ghoul?” Turning around, she only stared at him for a second before going back to the house. It was then that Cooper realized that the sun was setting on the horizon, and he would have to take shelter anyways for the coming night. He followed after her, grumbling the whole way through. It was not too much longer that they were sitting around a campfire sharing some meat skewers that she had snagged from the previous town about half a days walk from where they were.

“What did you do to get such a high bounty, Kitten?” Cooper asked, teeth dragging the meat off of the stick.

“Stole a bunch of caps from some rich bastards that were taxing their people to hell and back. Seventy-five percent of what they made they had to pay to these men. So I just took their money and gave it back to them. They didn’t take too kindly to that,” came her explanation. She was also enjoying the meat. After being on the run for so long, it was the most time she had taken for herself in well over two months.

“Like some sort of damn Robin Hood.” He chuckled, stopping only when she had a confused look on her face.

“Who’s Robin Hood?” Her question made Cooper take a moment before responding.

“Ain’t that some shit,” he grumbled, “Robin Hood was a theif for the people. He robbed from the rich and gave to the poor. Always on the run from the law and the king from which he stole.” Now it was Cooper’s time for an explanation. He watched how her eyes lit up at his mini story. They sat in silence after that for a while; the only sounds being the noises of the desert night and their eating.

“Hey,” she piped up, “what about us traveling together?”

“What the hell makes you think that’s a good idea, Kitten?” Cooper paused in between his pieces of meat to shoot her a ridiculous look.

“Well, you’ve been protecting me this whole time. And I can get you chems and RadAway faster and cheaper than you probably can cause I’m not a ghoul. It’d be perfect.” Now, she was excitedly staring at him over the fire.

“You drive a hard bargain there, sweetheart. What’s the catch?” He replied, finishing off his skewer.

“Forget about the bounty?” She asked hopefully, face scrunching together and voice going higher. Silence once more, but this time it was in thought. Howard thought through the pros and cons of each option; keeping her or turning her in.

“Alright, Kitten. We’ll stick together.” He concluded, watching her face light up in the warm orange light. As they dug in to more skewers, he was certain that he had made the right choice about this bounty.

#rebelliousstories #writing #cooper howard #cooper howard imagine #cooper howard x reader #cooper the ghoul howard #fallout #fallout imagine #cooper howard x oc #the ghoul x oc #the ghoul imagine #the ghoul fallout #the ghoul x reader #the ghoul

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luceafarul-de-dimineata · 2 days

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Whb characters that I think are asexual

Lucifer - he never had a libido and never will. He only gets horny once in a blue moon and with very specific scenarios and people. He is willing to have sex if it makes his partner happy, but don't expect him to initiate it.

Gamigin - demisexual. He has a hard time distinguishing between romantic and platonic relationships. He just loves people so his lover is also his best friend. He would only have sex with someone that he can trust and he can have fun with.

Astaroth - aegosexual. He likes reading smut, but he is a bit offput by watching sex unfold. He would only have sex if it's themeticly appropriate. This is my explenation for the lack of Astaroth H-scene. Plus, who's going to watch over his snake while he's fucking?

Leviathan - graysexual. He doesn't find most people attractive and it's always a surprise to both him and his nobles when he shows interest in someone. Solomon was the first person he had sex with and Mc was the second.

#whb #what in hell is bad #whb lucifer #whb gamigin #whb astaroth #whb leviathan #ace headcanons

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nexility-sims · 2 days

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𝐍𝐎. 𝟕 ❛ 𝐡𝐨𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐚𝐬𝐭 ❜ | AUGUST 1991

❧ 𝐝𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 / 𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 / 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 / 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭.

Trish Fitzpatrick wore many hats, but her favorite was “freelance journalist.” Her area of expertise grew directly out of myriad side gigs: what she called portrait pieces of interesting people. Outlets clamored for them—or, they had since she’d buttered up famous, neurotic opera singer-turned-starlet Prudence Boone into revealing she had a glass eye, a secret runaway daughter, and a hair-eating habit. Of course, Prudence was basically a stranger. They had once had a fifteen minute conversation on the deck of a yacht, bonding over the fact that neither actually knew to whom the vessel belonged. Prudence thought Trish’s outlandish suggestions were funny enough to remember her when she called to pitch the piece. It had gone the same way with Renzo. Of course, they had met while fighting over a scarf in a vintage clothing store. Trish considered letting him win to be a debt, one for which she would demand recompense at the ideal time. Opportunities passed, and then August 1991 proved to be the time.

❧ i got the irresistible urge to do renzo backstory, which was meant to be an outtake, but then i was like, "uh, no, this totally works as story proper if i put leonor in it," so here we are ! context and such. given the amount of work, this might be my magnum opus until further notice ... it was also just fun to do :^) checked off the sex, drugs, and rock-n-roll boxes ?? where's my prize. in conclusion, i love my white boy of the week or whatever

𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐭 ↓

I grew up in a tiny town—Petunia. Petunia? You say it differently. It’s the country coming out, I guess. Not “pee-tyoon-ee-ah,” it’s “puh-toon-yuh.” Petunia. That’s it. So, how was it? Fond memories? In retrospect, maybe. I wanted to get the hell out of there from day one. What I remember is being very unhappy—dispositionally sullen, not just a pouty kid, but fully down and out. Born that way, probably. And your parents? My parents … Life had the upper hand, man. They were good at losing. I didn’t want that life.

My dad professed to be a traveling salesman—What, he wasn’t? I mean, he didn’t know jack shit about vacuums or whatever the fuck. I don’t know. But, he wasn’t around a lot, it sounds like? Gone for weeks at a time. Just me and my mom. How was she? Not really there either. When I got home from school, she’d pop her pills and be gone until morning. She wasn’t avoiding me; she was avoiding life. She did what she had to do in the mornings—you know, I had what I needed, the bare essentials—but she was checked out. You had a lot of unsupervised time, then. Oh, did I. Too much. I mean, I had books to read, and I got into music early—From her? No. My dad’d blow into town and bring pity gifts. Not kid-appropriate shit, now that I think about it. Heavy, gritty stories. A guitar I was too little to use. Flip lighter. But, you know, I was a kid. I wanted to run and play with everyone else, too. Of course.

Here’s the thing: it was hard to be a scrawny kid named Lorencio in Petunia. Shit, I can imagine. What was that like? … Hard, like I said. Well—Details? I got the shit kicked out of me. Regularly. What do they call it—um—“school of hard knocks”? Yeah. I remember, one time, I limped home on a Saturday. Mom was out of it, but she leapt up when she saw all the blood. Cleaned me up. It’s like I’m there now—in that bathroom with the dirty tile, her burning me with peroxide … She didn’t really talk, you know, not in a serious way? But she did then? She said, in Uspanian, “‘Don’t roll over for anyone.’” Interesting. So, that’s the lesson? Part of it. I realized that summer it didn’t matter if you were scrawny, if you talked funny, if you were poor. What mattered was not being a pussy. [Laughs] Oh, yeah? If you want credibility, if you want respect, sometimes you gotta be able to take a beating. Don’t roll over. That’s right.

I think it also helped when the growth spurt hit. You must’ve still been scrawny. [Laughs] String bean. So it goes. Adolescence . Now, you grew up fast, is what I’ve heard. You could say that. My life changed when Marty got out of lock-up—Sorry, what?—for “teen offenders”; he set his grandparents’ car on fire—oh, I see, regular kid shit—Uh huh. We hit it off. He introduced me to other guys, including Jesse. They’d huff gas together. Oh my God. Not whippits? Sure, but less convenient. That’s—No good, yeah. Fun though. Have you—? I’ve tried everything, Patricia.

Jesus! So, Marty and Jesse…? We got on like a house fire. [Groans] They were into petty crime for the thrill of it—Now, Renzo, is arson petty? He did it one fucking time. Everyone overreacted. They got into trouble for fun, and for you it was—? Money. Not a lot. I was too dumb to consider the risks. But, you did other things for money, too? Don’t say it like that. I wasn’t hooking. [Snorts] I worked a lot. I was cutting school to work, getting paid under the table, all of that. Maybe—hear me out—some of it was thrilling for you, too? I won’t tell anyone. [Chuckles] What can I say? Credibility.

I feel like I’m mischaracterizing … I love Marty and Jesse, to this day. Jesse’s daughter is your godchild, right? Yeah. Marty went back to Petunia in … ‘88? Jesse and I had better luck, or maybe we were just more desperate. Either way, my point is that delinquents get a bad rap—With good reason! Sure, okay. Both of them were deeper and more complicated than that. You’re not an outlier. No. We’re a dime a dozen. No one gives them the chances you got. Uh huh. So, we bonded over that—feeling down and out, like I said, but also the fact that we loved music. Marty’s family had money, so they’d bought him a nice bass guitar. But, Jesse’s mind … He’s so fucking creative. He wasn’t a reader, but I could tell him about something I’d been chewing on, and he’d have a song inspired by it within the hour. He has an incredible voice, too. He does.

I guess it’s not surprising that you guys did what you did. There was nothing for us at home, you know? Packing up and heading out west didn’t feel like a risk. And your mom understood that? Better than anyone. I know people judged her—shit, I judge her, too—but I always knew she was trying. That’s sweet. Is it? I mean, I think so … She met my dad at a bus stop three weeks after she arrived in the country and made the mistake of getting off at his stop. That’s it. That was her crime. Well, I’m sure she’s doing better now, huh? She lives in a nicer house in a nicer city, but that doesn’t cure depression, now does it? I suppose not. There was this woman whose lawn I’d cut all the time … A real bitch, but she was extra nice because she felt bad for me. Hated my mother. I think she was just jealous because my dad was her high school sweetheart. Isn’t that just how it goes? Damn foreigner stealing a real catch from her. [Scoffs] Sticky fingers when she invited me inside for lemonade—cigs and quarters from her purse, Valium from the cabinet, that kind of thing. [Laughs] Casual. It was pretty brazen, honestly. Fucking dumb kid.

Alright, so, you come out here with Marty and Jesse to make music, and now you’re a serious actor with a name and a big career ahead of you. How’d that happen? It was completely accidental. While we waited for a record deal, I did odd jobs, like auto work—you know, in a body shop. It was decent. Had you worked on cars before that? So, I got familiar, uh … [Chuckles] We’ve established I was a rascal. We could get under the hood of a parked car and make a few dollars off parts. I can get you in so much trouble, Renzo! [Laughs]

Don’t tell anyone, come on! I was a kid. Have a heart. I guess it paid off. But, alright, body work? What’s the connection? It’s kind of convoluted. When business was slow, the guy I worked for loaned his employees out to another mechanic. This guy, long story short, brought me along to assist him on a movie set. I guess he was a known quantity? Everyone knows the right guy! That’s everyone’s explanation for where they end up. Me, too. Uh huh. I don’t know why they let me do it, but—Somehow it worked out. Yeah, it did. Right place, right time.

You’re in the spot. How did you get into it, though? This is embarrassing as hell but, fuck it, I’ll be honest. Please. Don’t stop now. [Chuckles] I got a shot because I’d been chatting up this girl who, as it turns out, was the director’s kid—or, in fact, she approached me. I had no idea who she was or why she was there. Of course she did! That’s not surprising, is it? I think I was the most disinterested person there. I don’t know. Anyway, we talked a couple times, then—out of the blue—someone asked me if I wanted to hop into a scene, say a line, ten seconds flat. She did that for you? I don’t know what she did. No one mentioned her. Maybe she thought you looked like a movie star. [Snorts] Fuck. I hope not. Did you want to do it? I wanted to make music. I wanted to finish reading my book. I wanted … I mean, I said yeah. Can’t decline that. Makes a good story, right? What happened with her—? Oh, hell. Sorry! Moving on, for now. [Groans]

I got a call several weeks later about an audition. How did that feel? Bizarre. We’d done a demo for a producer once, but this was different. Were you excited? I was terrified. But, I went. Didn’t get that part, although everyone was perfectly nice to me. How disappointing. You always remember your first … But, hey, you have to look at it this way: I didn’t want to be an actor. I thought it was cool, but it felt like … ? Go ahead, give me a good metaphor. Like when you’ve been craving your favorite food, but then someone offers you a helping of something different, new, appetizing. How’s that? Passable. C-plus. [Laughs] Fuck you, Pat.

Okay, so the road didn’t end there. No, it didn’t. I got another call, and that one went well. This was for … Sugar Sweet? That’s the one. Cornball, but I love that movie. Never seen it. What! How is that possible? You were in it. You went to the premiere screening. There are pictures. Saw my first scene, excused myself to go piss, didn’t come back until the applause had started. Wow. Everyone has opinions about that movie these days—very contentious, whether or not Alicia was in the wrong when she left me and stole my lifelong dream. What do you think? Me, Renzo? Good for her. I thought it was kind of bitchy. It’s peculiar how many women say that. I wonder why … ! Billy’s so dreamy. Please, ask me about something else, Pat. So, this romantic comedy is your launching pad. It leads to the television show. The television show blows up immediately. Walk me through what that felt like?

Also terrifying. I really cannot emphasize enough that I didn’t want attention. I wanted money and time to support my music, and acting seemed like a good way to do that. Just didn’t account for the side effects. Like fame? Uh huh. I was a nobody in Sugar Sweet, and the pay was shit, but it felt like a miraculously good deal at the time. What it did is put me in the running for more serious work. I think, even then, sometimes the casting folks were hesitant to take a risk on someone with no experience whatsoever, even if they had—A spark? Talent? Sure. It was unsettling, the idea that I was some kind of “natural,” and I compensated by working really hard. Well, you’ve established yourself as a hard worker. Sure. I guess they saw that—the improvement, in addition to the fact that I had a resume to speak of by then. Or, eh, they saw that you were pretty. Right, of course, you don’t need talent if you have Teen Mag’s favorite cheekbones. [Snickers] I joined a cast with other people who had very little experience, and we bonded over that. I just didn’t expect to be … What, the center of attention? That, yeah.

You know what’s fucking weird? Huh? Signing your name on a picture of your own face that belongs to someone else. That they’re going to take it home and pin it to their fucking wall or frame it on their bedside table. Someone’s kid treating you like their school crush, blushing and shit while they’re asking for you to do it. That does seem like a strange experience. Over and over again. Teenyboppers, goddamn. You were in the magazines for them. I read a couple interviews. No the fuck I was not. I did not do those. No? What they do is take quotes from actual, consented conversations and stitch them together for their own use. It’s legal. That’s fascinating. Maybe I should try that. Less work. [Laughs] Yeah, alright, flush your “exclusive access” privilege right down the toilet.

But, look, I’m not disparaging the fans wholesale. That’d be unfair. And, ouch, ungrateful? Yeah. The initial couple years were fucking insane, but I was with people I liked, and a lot of the fans we actually met were … Normal? Uh huh. Not a hysterical, handsy, screaming blob. You got grabbed? Groped, Pat. Oh boy. We don’t like grabass, I guess. Well, hold on now, just not like that—You keep sidetracking me. What kind of interviewer are you? I’m having fun with my buddy! Sue me. [Chuckles] You got it, baby. What was I saying? The fans? Yeah. The ones we met one-on-one were cool, usually. They had deep thoughts about the show, you know? Ideas about the characters, the plots—filled in holes in the shitty writing. No offense to Jack and Reuben, I hope! Don’t print that, Pat.

If I’m being honest, having to answer their questions made me think deeply about the role. That’s stayed with me. I don’t like being walked up on in public, but sometimes it’d go fine. The first time someone came up to me in the wild, her mother looked so fucking apologetic that I decided, “Cool it, don’t be a jackass.” She wanted to talk about the book I was buying. Same thing would happen to Frank, Perry, Vicky. How about the show itself? That was a three year commitment.

It was alright. In retrospect, I understand that television isn’t for respectable actors, which made the transition hard. Harder to have been on a show for teenagers. But, you made that switch in Uspana. So, did that play into the calculus at all? I lucked out, in the sense that the show was co-produced, and I got to do the dubbing for the Uspanian version. I wasn’t a total unknown, even if they thought my Uspanian was shitty. Is it? Losing an accent is hard, in my defense.

When my contract ended, I hit the road. You didn’t think about staying on? I thought about it with horror, yes. [Laughs] You’d keep shit-talking the whole production if I let you. Maybe. So, in Uspana? It was like exhaling for the first time in a while. I did nothing for a couple months. All that hard work, being a beloved TV star … Throw me a bone, Pat. But, anyway, I didn’t even see my mom’s family again for a few weeks—You knew them, though? Yeah, we’d met, during the press trips. Beach life by yourself. Luxury.

You know, I needed to reconnect with myself. That’s how I felt. I felt like I had been an imposter, then I felt like I had to be someone I wasn’t, and now … You could go a different way. A fork in the road, for your career. Your life, really. Right, yeah. I went to Canarís like any good tourist. I had more money than I’d ever had in my life. I had no plans. Sounds like a dream. It was.

Crucially, I was out of my mind most of the time. Kite high. So fucking high. I swear I almost drowned twice, at which point it was politely suggested that I stop using the pool. Did you politely agree? Fuck no. [Laughs] Troublemaking aside, I ended up taking phone calls, making plans with people—Industry people? Yeah. There were people I knew already, but meeting the ones I really wanted to work with happened kind of organically—parties, premieres for other films, cafes. At the Morningstar Cafe in Canarís? Right, exactly. Same way I ended up finding The Den. Someone at the cafe had worked with Karolina Teague, and she took me there one evening after we all got tossed out of some poor son of a bitch’s house. Sounds rowdy. Can’t blame him. It was after midnight. And? Well, it was a lunch that’d started at eleven in the morning, so. [Chuckles]

So, I have a question. You’re pretty consistent—in terms of behavior. “Behavior?” [Snorts] Yeah, okay, I understand. What was that like, with cameras on you? The photographers in Uspana definitely aren’t less aggressive. That’s part of it. I don’t know if I’d call it an epiphany, but I left Canarís for Nakawe with the understanding that I was going to just do what I wanted to do. Oh boy. Within reason, fuck. Reason. Sure, yes. You didn’t feel like a dumb kid anymore. I mean, I guess I have more fun with the camera guys here. They can get away with more, ergo, so can we.

I distinctly recall you got arrested for—I barely touched that guy or his fucking camera. Did him a favor, if I did. Dogshit quality device. [Chuckles] Not sure he saw it that way, but the charges were dropped. I mean, don’t get me wrong, shouldn’t have reacted that way. I kept thinking about my mom seeing those pictures … The one time I got picked up, she backhanded me in the middle of the station, right in front of the cops. Jesus. In the car, she goes, “If you get caught again, I’m going to rip your ears off.” Empty threat, I guess.

The Den—I want to talk about that. Please, let’s. Your first time there? It was with Karolina, like I said, and there was a local band playing that night. They’d wrapped up their set by the time we arrived and were just … jamming on the stage, taking feedback and requests from the people who were still there. Some kind of funky jazz mash-up. I liked it. How did it come to you? It opened in ‘57 as a bar and, at some point, it turned into more of a music venue open to a certain segment of Nakawe. The guy who owned it gave exposure to a lot of people who went on to really do something with their art, and that’s why it ended up being a somewhat exclusive spot. Celebrities already knew it and brought their friends. Uh huh. I could stroll up, and the cameras weren’t with me because they were already there. He got tired of that, I think—He was an older fella, right? Yeah. But, really, he managed other properties, and The Den wasn’t his passion project the way it’s become for me. So, you had the money and took it off his hands.

What goes on in there? [Laughs] Pat, you’ve been inside. Well, not for me! If I’m going to describe it to people who’ll never go inside, what would I say? I mean, it’s a hangout spot. It’s a performance venue. We had, uh, mimes last month. Truly gifted, those people. [Laughs] Really? I don’t come up with all of the ideas myself, but I only agree to the shit I’m interested in. It’s kind of selfish, but I guess I’m lucky to know a lot of people who’ll toss in five dollars to enjoy it. It’s something. Compelling. I mean it. Thanks. That’s not all, though. I mean, you describe it as a “haven.” It’s very private. Some of your regulars are troubled individuals. Damn, Patricia, just say it. I feel like a cop! “Do you condone drug use in your establishment?” nonsense. But, well … I’m not explaining it. Either you—they, whoever the hell—get it or don’t. Come for the music, come to unwind however you like, doesn’t fucking matter to me as long as you’re coming with an invitation. I like to go in the back room, close the door, let the music and noise seep through. Muffled. You don’t really strike me as a partier, frankly. You never have. I wouldn’t argue with that. I like parties, but I don’t need to be at the center. Some do. That’s fine. This place is for us all.

Maybe it works out because of that, that you’re curating this space but not necessarily always in it? What do you mean? Well, you reopened it and then, if memory serves, immediately went off to do a film. The party kept going. You just like to know it’s happening. Alright, sure. That’s true. Knowing it’s there … Yeah. I like it. I was in that back room, thinking about the script, when I decided to do it, actually. Life felt like it was falling into place. It was a good time to take a leap. “’You are going to be a cowboy?’” “’No, I’m going to be a farmer.’” I had that conversation a thousand times. Reporters, man. Hey! Everyone was so surprised. I think they thought the premise was … I don’t know, that it just wasn’t something I would want to do? Or, worse, that the filmmakers wouldn’t want to work with someone like me? Unflattering assumptions, sounds like. Can’t blame them. I had a lot to prove. Still do.

How was six weeks in Texict? Fucking heaven. I loved it. My mother’s from the northwest so, even when I visited family, it wasn’t anywhere close. No reason to visit until we dropped in to do the film. Every day, I woke up happy to be alive. Happy to be doing this job. Gorgeous. I’m gonna go out on a limb and guess it wasn’t just the location, was it?

No, you’re right. I felt like I was really acting—for the first time, seriously. Maybe the cast helped? I’d worked with established actors before. The leads in Sugar Sweet were—well, you know who they were. I learned a ton from them. But, yeah, I guess Sasha was the first person I’d worked alongside who had me sweating. Oh? I wanted to impress her so fucking badly. I wanted to keep up, you know? So talented. So raw. She rips every line out of her chest with her bare hands. Bloodbath of emotion. The premise was new, too. Not a lighthearted romance this time. No. We were young parents of a ill child—stressed as fuck, trying to make life work, struggling separately to be together. Can’t lie, I ate that shit up. So did the critics. Hell yeah.

Every nomination felt surreal. The recognition was incredible. Validating. Sasha and some of the others swept up. I was just honored to be up there with them, honestly. Okay, well, let’s talk about Sasha. Do we have to? Yes. Indulge me! [Grumbling] I mean, all I can really say at this point is that I was obsessed, and it wasn’t until it was over that I had the clarity of mind to really wonder, hm, “Was I in love with Sasha, my coworker, or was I in love with Sasha playing Lucy, my wife?” That seems like an occupational hazard. I wouldn’t describe it that way. You take sensitive, delusional, beautiful people, pay them to get vulnerable and intimate with each other … It’s special, even if it’s … Not genuine? No, it is that. It’s not real, but it is genuine. How else can you say, “Well, our schedules don’t line up anymore, but I’ll have this scar of our initials forever?” You do not! No, I don’t. The letter S is really hard to cut without fucking up. Not a sober man’s idea. No.

Since I have you on the topic—hey, no, absolutely not—I’m obligated to ask if there’s anyone in your life right now. How’s that? Women’s magazines can snap this up and stitch it together for themselves. This is a public service. Patricia … Yes, Lorencio?

Look, I know you do your research. I do. I’m very good at it, too. What’s that like, princess pus—Pat. Pat, I’m begging you—Are you obsessed? The letter L is easier, I bet. It is. Would you go with another L or an R?

I’m not talking about this—not for you to print, anyway. Well, talk to me as a friend, then? I’m not just professionally nosy. We’re friends? Who else calls me Pat and gets away with it? You haven’t been Trish in a long time, it’s true … [Sighs] Fuck. Someone can be precious, right? Lovable. You can hold them in your hands and think, “This person matters to me. They’re special. I like to be around them; I like to listen to them; I want their affection.” You can really, genuinely cherish someone.

But? Maybe you find their life to be completely fucking repellent. Unbearable. … Damn.

There’s parallels, though, right? I mean, fame is fame, there’s got to be value in relatability, and—There’s an open mic going on downstairs in the hotel bar right this minute. Let’s take a break, Pat, what do you say? Let’s just go watch some of it. I’ll let you print dick measurements and my deepest, darkest secrets if you say yes. [Laughs] Well, if that’s on the table—

#just gonna toss in a cw #cw drugs #long post #ts4 story #sims story #sims 4 story #royal sims #simblr #ts4 legacy #1992.story.post #1992.a1 #1992.e04

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