#you know how you get super fucking tired after a long day of travel in the car or on the train and stuff

[o-wyrmlight]

Hey.

Kim teaching Harry how to skateboard and Harry teaching Kim how to roller skate.

Harry thinks he fucking sucks at first because Kim gets the hang of roller skating pretty quickly. As it turns out, skateboarding is a lot harder than roller skating.

I don’t know where I’m going with this. Um. Kim still prefers skateboarding because of the technical aspect and risk factor but he’s surprised he enjoys how chill roller skating is.

Harry enjoys skateboarding because a) time with Kim as a teacher and b) oh wow a challenge? Your physical instrument loves challenges. You will conquer this with the force of your—what do you mean this is more the centipede’s thing? Holy shit no wonder Kim’s so cool

[lunarduty]

𝙋𝙊𝙐𝙍 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝘿𝙄𝙍𝙏 𝙄𝙉𝙏𝙊 𝙊𝙐𝙍 𝘽𝙀𝘿

☾ sfw & nsfw headcanons for dating soap JOHNNY 'SOAP' MACTAVISH X F!READER TAGS | nsfw. smut. oral (female receiving). female reader. WC | 2,063 x

SFW

☾ in his mind, he was already your boyfriend before even becoming official. soap is fiercely LOYAL and dedicated - just as soon as he realized the depths of his feelings, he was yours before you even knew it. stopped so much as looking at other people, much less thinking or fantasizing about them. for soap, you were it. he just had to convince you to go out with a guy like him, which is very soap. not always looking before he jumps.

☾ he loves calling himself your boyfriend, or calling you his girl. soap isn’t one to try and make it lowkey or anything. he wouldn’t be unprofessional - disrespecting or making you look bad is the last thing he wants. but soap will insert the fact into mundane little conversations whenever he can. the team quickly gets tired of it long before he does.

“soap, you joining us for drinks after the debrief?” “don’t know,” he says, sounding awfully CHIPPER for someone who might miss out on a night at the pub. “gotta check in with my girl, see if she wants to do anything tonight. missed out on lunch with her, y’know.” he was still beating himself up over that. you kept insisting it was fine - you both have crazy schedules sometimes. but soap didn’t want to make it a habit of blowing you off. gaz nodded like he agreed - soap didn’t think he really got what it meant to be your boyfriend.

☾ his favorite thing in the world is making you laugh, and he does it so easily. and a lot of the time, he doesn’t even mean to. soap can be blunt and cheeky sometimes, and his smart mouth has gotten him in hot water more often than not - but he’s always very happy to make you laugh, even accidentally. always acts kinda proud when his jokes land perfectly. or if he’s not in a great mood, but ends up saying something that makes you laugh, it always brightens his mood.

☾ while he usually finds one petname and sticks with it, soap is known to call you different ones - each worse and more SAPPY than the last. they’re never spoken seriously, he just enjoys seeing your nose wrinkle and look at him as if he just tracked dog shit into the house. it’s one of his favorite ways to tease you without feeling like he’s going too far, like he does with some of his mates.

with his nose buried against your neck, and the slowly thump of your heart vibrating on his chest, soap was damn near close to following you into unconsciousness. it had been a chaotic last few days - the mere chance to cuddle up with you in bed had him relaxed beyond the point of needing a quick fuck to tire him out. at least until you shifted your legs, and your icy toes pressed against his legs. “fuck, lass. toes are fuckin’ freezing,” he hisses against your shoulder. you just hum, not bothering to reply, more interested in finally falling asleep. he hums in return, and condemns himself to the icy torture. “lucky i love ya, my l’il popsicle.” “jesus, johnny.”

☾ generally enjoys going out on dates than staying home. of course, if you’re more of a homebody or he just doesn’t feel up to going out, a home date is perfectly fine with him. but soap likes going out and experiencing things - most of all, he wants to show you off. absolutely loves walking down the street with you on his arm, or you pulled against his side. tries to get some leave every few months so you two can travel somewhere, but usually, soap’s idea of a good date is simply going somewhere and having fun.

☾ gets super soft when you start getting comfortable around him. before the relationship began, you two were good friends - there was already a layer of comfort and familiarity before, but it’s different when you start dating. so one night, when you both are just chilling on the couch, and you start cackling at a joke on the TV or ugly-crying during a sad scene, soap just REVELS in it. he’s heard how far some people go not to show certain sides of themselves to their partners, and he’s super pleased that you don’t feel like you need to do that with him. on the flip side, soap immediately gets super goofy with you right off the bat, so it’s not like you’re alone in your silliness.

☾ don’t think you can outkiss this man. don’t even try to challenge him. soap mactavish is a man made for kissing and he will do it all day if you let him. your eyes in the morning to wake you up, on your cheek before he leaves, your hand after meeting up for lunch, your lips when he gets home at the end of the day, your neck while doing the dishes, your forehead after a good fuck before falling asleep. soap loves being able to kiss you whenever he wants and he takes full advantage of that privilege.

☾ arguments aren’t super common, but they do happen. soap can be stubborn and sometimes doesn’t see the wider picture. he forgets to take your feelings into account. arguments are usually resolved pretty painlessly, since soap knows he can be dumb sometimes and he doesn’t let his pride get in the way of apologizing. even still, he likes to go out of his way when it comes to make ups. he doesn’t like feeling guilty and can go a little overboard in comparison to the argument.

“so, you forgive me yet, bonnie?” “hmm,” you draw out the hum, even if the smile on your face negates the tension, “i haven’t decided yet.” suppressing his own grin, johnny throws his hands up in defeat. reclines back in his chair with a sigh and a shake of his head - always with the theatrics. “yeah, i figured ya say that. but i’ve learned to never enter a battle without a secret weapon.” “making up for a fight is a battle for you, is it?” your question, though a joke, made him pause. “well, no, i didn’t- fuck’s sake, lass. take it easy on me.” johnny stands, his hands clapping together. “i was listenin’, though. i know you feel all alone when i’m gone so much, and i’m sorry. wish i could change it.” of course, you knew he couldn’t just uproot his whole life. some of the things you said during the argument weren’t even exactly how you felt - just something said in the moment. “johnny, hold on, i didn’t mean-” “hey, hey, i’m not done.” he backs away from you toward the bedroom. “last thing i want is you to be here feelin’ all LONELY again. so i got something to fix all that.” he finally turns and makes for the bedroom door. when you stand and follow to watch, you notice how carefully he opened and slid right past. like he didn’t want you coming in. but you realized right away it was because he didn’t want something getting out. “a puppy? john, this is-” “great, right? can cuddle up to him when i’m not here!”

☾ definitely thinks about marriage super early on, but doesn’t really bring it up because he doesn’t wanna come off as weird or creepy. but honestly, soap knew you were the one right away. he’s not out looking at rings or wedding venues - he just kinda ACCEPTS that he’s gonna marry you. might make little jokes or comments here and there. jokingly calls you his wife or “the missus.” so when he eventually does pop the question, he’s a little taken aback when you’re caught off guard. and then he remembers that, oh yeah, he’s always been mentally married to you since basically forever.

NSFW

☾ it’s not hard at all to tell when soap is in the mood. he’s going to get very touchy if you let him - from soft grazes of his fingers along your skin to straight up groping your ass when you walk by. he is an absolute menace when he’s horny. loves coming up behind you when you’re doing something and just squeezing your hips and kissing your neck. grinds his cock against your ass, as if it isn’t painfully obvious how wound up he is.

☾ foreplay with soap is more fun than anything. there are rare moments when he’s silent and serious and focused, but mostly, he likes to keep it light. makes you laugh before sucking on your tits to take your breath away. says some dumb comment when you’re grinding against his thigh to distract you, only to suddenly change pace and laugh when you whimper. he sees sex with you as something to 100% ENJOY and making sure the both of you have fun with it…

☾ …that is until soap gets completely pussy-drunk off you and just shuts the fuck up and enters this kind of tunnel vision when he’s eating you out. it happens a good 60% of the time - he starts out his usual light and teasing self, kissing your thighs, asking you if you want to fuck his mouth. but just as soon as he gets his tongue on your clit and his fingers buried knuckle-deep, it’s so easy for him to just get lost in it. will make you cum twice before he realizes it, and is almost confused when you’re begging him to stop, or at least give you a break. 

“fu- fuck, johnny! i can’t- shit, you need to stop.” those words seem to finally break him of his little trance. your little moans and whimpers of his name are always MELODIC in a way that makes him want to hear more and more. but hearing you ask him to stop makes soap blink and pull his face away - lips parted in his panting, chin glistening. “okay, bonnie?” he asks, a hand squeezing your hip. you’re breathing hard. skin flushed. chin tilted upward with your eyes closed and he wonders just how hard you came. or how many times. “i’m okay,” you answer quickly. “just…need a break. or just fuck me - that works too.” a wide grin spreads over his face, and when he pulls his fingers free, the soft squelching sound almost makes him shiver. “just said the fuckin’ magic words, beautiful.”

☾ not at all picky with positions, so he usually just tries a bunch of different ones or follows your lead. there’s something to enjoy with all of them, so how can he have a favorite? fucking you in missionary gets him on top, where he feels so big and strong and loves feeling you hold onto him like your life depends on it. when you ride him, he gets to watch your face the entire time, or play with your tits, or do anything he wants. getting you in doggy is great when soap is feeling especially FERAL and just wants to drive into you, grabbing your ass, tugging on your hair when he feels like he can’t hear you well enough. gun to his head, he can’t pick just one.

☾ soap does have a preference when he cums. as fucking fantastic as it feels to cum inside you, there’s something otherwordly about pulling out and painting your skin. he saves creampies for slow and sleepy sex (or when you beg for it), but every other time? soap is cumming on your back, your belly, your thighs, your face, your tits. anywhere and everywhere is fair game for him. he’s definitely taken a picture when the sight is too good to leave to memory. eventually deletes them because he doesn’t want them to somehow get out, but not before using it as wank material while he’s away.

☾ very gentle and attentive with aftercare. sex with soap isn’t especially rough or intense most of the time, but he still doesn’t slack on it. kissing you good and proper after you both cum, letting you know just how much he loves you. always gets something to clean you up and talking while he does so - soap is a chatterbox anyway, but more so after sex because he doesn’t want you to start feeling awkward. lots of cuddles and touches when he climbs into bed - but be warned, he does tend to nod off pretty soon.

[mediumgayitalian]

When Nico asks him out, there is vomit on his scrubs. His hair is disgusting. The bags under his eyes are actually the size of Texas, and he was born there so he says it in good confidence.

Also, it goes right over his head.

“Gods, yeah,” Will sighs, relieved. “Yeah, I could —” He laughs, a little hysterically, scrubbing his hand over his face and trying to blink the sudden onslaught of dizzy away. “I’m starving. I am — tired of this stupid room. I could use dinner out.”

“Great,” Nico says, rocking back on his heels. He twists his skull ring around his finger, like he does when he’s nervous, but there’s a tiny twitch at the corner of his mouth that Will has learned, in the past few weeks of his help in the infirmary, is a smile. “I’ll — um, I’ll pick you up at seven?”

Will glances down at the rapidly-drying splatter of vomit spreading from his right shoulder all the way down to his belly button. The nasty brown-yellow colour of it clashes so violently with the mint-green of his scrubs that it might be a felony, actually. The one whole spaghetti noodle smack in the middle of it does not help.

“Yeah, I’ll need at least that long in the shower.”

Nico’s face goes through a very complicated string of emotions. “I think you look nice,” he offers.

“You and I have very different definitions of ‘nice’, di Angelo,” Will snorts. He gestures behind him. “Bye, Nico. I’ll see you in a few hours?”

“Right. Bye, Will.”

“Hey, first name status!”

“Shut up, Solace. Go change your shirt.”

Will snickers, jogging down the Big House stairs with a backwards wave. He hustles past campers jogging towards their daily activities, ducking into the Apollo cabin before someone can ask him for something.

It’s been a busy few weeks.

The Giant War was…well. It’s over, now, is the point, but it was not without casualties, and it was not without injury, and injury, and injury. Plus the flu that just had to hit right before the Romans were about to head back to California. Will has spent more nights in the infirmary in the last few weeks than he ever has, including after the Titan War. Understaffed does not begin to cover it. He had to beg Cecil for his secret Redbull stash after his third straight day on his feet, praying to his father, his aunt, and any other god who was listening to keep his hands from shaking. Without Nico’s help — well, he doesn’t want to think about how things would have gone without Nico’s help.

He’d slept through his promised three days in the infirmary. Will had restitched his werewolf scratching (—his werewolf scratches his fucking werewolf scratches his fucking shitting goddamn werewolf scratches that he stitched with sewing thread and left for gods know how many days and Will is going to quit his job, he is, he is going to live in a hut in the Florida Everglades and chase questers away with a fucking broom—) as he slept on the first day, then spent the next days glaring at him in seething jealousy.

He had wanted to sleep. He had wanted to sleep so godsdamn badly. And yet. He was plastering salve on the translucent fingers of a dumbass who pushed himself too hard.

“You can’t tell me what to do,” Will had mocked, ignoring the yelled you’re losing it, Willy! from Kayla as she passed by. “Nyeh nyeh nyeh. I can shadow travel wherever I want. Nyeh nyeh nyeh. Catch me I’m about to pass out. Nyeh nyeh nyeh.”

“I never asked you to catch me,” muttered Nico, groggily, and Will had screamed.

Not his best moment.

Luckily, his string of colourful cursing had killed any idea that Will was scared of him, or something, and the list of chores he’d doled out the second he made sure Nico could walk had put the idea in the grave.

He still can’t quite believe that Nico actually, like…listened. But he’s a good bandage cutter (very accurate) and, as a super fun bonus, the Romans were all scared of him, so when they tried to get out of their cots while their limbs were literally hanging onto them by a thread, Will just had Nico stand behind him and glare at them until they sat their asses back down.

(“You are without a doubt the best nurse I’ve ever had,” Will had grumbled, sticking his tongue out at Austin, who lazily tried to trip him. Nico had rolled his eyes, huffing as if he thought Will was joking.)

“Wow,” says Cecil, sitting in Will’s bed for some reason. He rakes his eyes up and down his body, whistling appreciatively at the towel around his waist. Will rolls his eyes and starts digging through his dresser drawers. “Look at you! So human-like! No zombie eyebags to be seen!”

“Showers don’t erase eyebags, dick for brains.”

“True, but you’re so hot when you’re not covered in blood and vomit that I can overlook them.”

“Kiss my ass, Cecil.”

“Really? Is that permission?”

Will laughs, admitting defeat. He tugs on a pair of boxers, then tosses a few clothing options on his bed.

“Yeah, yeah. It’s good to be out, Zeus’ beard. Nico’s taking me to dinner; d’you know if it’s cold in the city? And I should probably wear real shoes, right, Annabeth mentioned something about New York bacteria —”

“Woah, woah, hold on, William, pause there for a second.”

Will looks up, frowning. “What?”

“Nico’s taking you to dinner?”

Cecil’s eyes are wide. Reflexively, Will pats his chin, paranoid he’s got something on his face.

“…Yes? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Nothing! Nothing, nothing.” Quickly, Cecil schools his face back to its usual smirk, leaning casually against the bedpost. (He misses. Mercifully, Will decides to let it slide and wait for him to straighten himself. He’s a good friend, like that.)

“Well, obviously something.”

“Nope! I’m just —” He softens. “I’m glad you’re taking a break, Willy. We’ve been worried about you. Remind me to send him a lock pick set.”

“Most people send fruit,” Will suggests gently. He cuffs Cecil playfully on the jaw, rolling his eyes when Cecil catches his hand and presses a loudly exaggerated kiss to it. “Or flowers. Also, don’t call me Willy.”

“Sorry, Willy.”

“Gods, you’re infuriating.”

“Mhm. And yet you adore me. Oou, wear the grey plaid shirt, it makes your eyes look bluer. And for the love of Hermes, do not wear shorts.”

———

At seven o’clock sharp, there’s a knock on the doorframe.

“Uh, hi?”

“Nico!” Will says brightly. “Hi! You don’t have to wait by the door, dorkus. Come in.”

With a second of hesitation, Nico steps in. The usually creaky floorboards are silent under his black Chucks. Will chooses to believe that’s on purpose, because it’s cooler.

“You can sit if you want! Unless we gotta leave right away. I wasn’t actually sure, are we just going to McDonald’s or something? Also, I told Cecil he couldn’t come, I figured three would make it a party or something but lemme know if we’re bringing friends along and —”

“We’re not,” Nico interrupts.

“—tell them.” Will blinks at him, then smiles. “Just you and me, then.”

Nico clears his throat. “Yeah.” He glances up at Will, and away again, like he can’t hold his gaze for too long. He looks a little flushed. “You, uh. You braided your hair.”

“What? Oh!” Will touches the French braids on either side of his head, smiling. “Yeah, I finally had the time. Keeps my hair back better than much else. Hey, Nico, you good? You looked flushed, maybe you should —”

Nico catches his hand. He smiles.

“I’m fine, Solace. You just look nice, is all.”

Will snorts. “No kidding. Anything’s better than the vomit shirt.”

———

Nico refuses to answer any of his questions about where they’re going.

Or, well. Will asks him and endless string of questions and receives only hums or nods in response, except for the odd huff of laughter when Will pouts.

“C’mon! Can’t I just know where we’re going?”

“You’re about to.”

“I mean now, Death Breath.”

“Well, now I’m definitely not telling you.”

“Ugh.”

Nico places a fleeting hand on his elbow as they reach the base of Half-Blood Hill, stalling him.

“Wait.”

Will pauses, listening. His heartbeat picks up. Monster? Monsters?

He glances over at Nico, noticing the tension in his face, the twist to his mouth, the —

Oh, no he doesn’t.

“Hold it, Gerard Way!”

Nico startles.

“What?”

“I know that face! You are not shadow-travelling us to the city, no way, no how, do you want to dissolve —”

“Will,” Nico interrupts, laughing softly, “Will, trust me for a second. Do you trust me?”

“Yes.”

Nico blinks. Will flushes.

“That was fast.”

“Well! Well.”

“I’m not shadow-travelling,” Nico promises, changing the subject when it’s clear Will has nothing to say. “I’m just summoning our ride. I promise it won’t drain me.”

“…Fine.”

Rolling his eyes fondly, Nico screws up his face again. The tiny freckles on the bridge of his nose are more obvious when he wrinkles it. Will has to shove his hands in his pockets to keep from touching them.

One moment, there’s nothing but empty road in front of them. The next, there’s a massive fucking limo, driven by what Will can only describe as a ghoul.

“There,” Nico says happily. “Our ride!”

He jogs over to the sleek black limo, leaving Will gaping. With a quick hand to keep the driver from getting up, he opens the back door, gesturing broadly.

“C’mon, Sunshine.”

Will recovers quickly. He’s never been in a limo before — hell, he’s hardly ever been in cars. He slides into the black leather seats, gaping, barely noticing Nico ducking in and closing the door behind him.

“Cleveland and Merrick, please, Jules-Albert.”

Limos are crazy.

If hotel mini bars were, like, physical places rather than tiny bottles in mini fridges, they would look like limos. The windows are tinted, so the interior is dark, illuminated a softly glowing red by strips of LEDs. There is an actual TV screen, although it’s not on. Will feels like James Bond.

“Gift from my dad,” Nico explains. “He knows he can’t always be there to drive me around, so he got Jules-Albert to take me places. He’s cool. He even answers to me, technically, and not my dad, so if anything happens back here he won’t snitch.” Nico gets so violently red he damn near goes invisible under the LEDs. “Not that — I mean, it’s more like —”

“That is so cool,” Will breathes. “Oh my gods, Nico, you are literally the coolest demigod in the world.”

“Hah,” says Nico weakly. The limo (!!) slows to a stop. “We are — here, let’s go!”

Nico practically throws himself out of the limo. Will takes one last look, thanks Jules-Albert, and hurries out after him.

———

“You gotta be kidding me.”

“What?” Nico looks at him defensively. The corner of his mouth twitches. “I thought it was pretty funny.”

Apollo Restaurant Diner, reads the garish, flashing yellow sign. Seniors half-off!

Will nudges Nico’s side as they walk in. “You should ask for the discount.”

“Keep it up and you’re paying for yourself, Solace.”

Nico guides them into a booth by the window before he can say anything. In seconds, a server is strolling up to them, popping their bubblegum and grinning.

“Welcome to Apollo’s, where if we don’t predict your order, it’s free! I’ll get you guys some sodas, and…hm. Fries to share, I think.”

They’re off, ponytail bouncing, before either of them can say anything.

“Well,” says Nico after a moment. “I guess we’re having fries.”

Will snorts. “You love fries. You love anything fried and battered, because there is nothing you love more than poor decision making.”

“Caught me, Solace.”

“Aw. I thought —”

Their server pops back in with their sodas, nodding as they thank them.

“— I thought I was bumped up to first name status! You called me Will earlier.”

Nico slurps obnoxiously at his cherry coke.

“No, I didn’t.”

“Did too!”

“Not a jury in the world will believe you, Solace.”

Will blows his straw wrapper at him. Nico barely dodges, laughing — a real, open laugh, where some of the guard drops from his shoulders, where his smile is wide enough to show his teeth, where his dark eyes cringe near shut.

“You’re so lame. Get your stupid straw wrapper away from me.”

Will feels like he doesn’t respond for ages, mesmerized by the crooked curve of Nico’s smile. There’s mischief in that smile, and oddly it makes shyness bloom in Will’s chest, it makes the tips of his ears red, makes him duck his head.

Will’s saved from trying to come up with a comment by the massive — truly gigantic — platter of fries set between them.

“Holy shit,” breathes Will, alarmed.

“Holy shit,” breathes Nico, eyes wide. The smile grows wider. “Holy shit!”

Will’s stomach growls. He’s reminded how truly hungry he is, and without another word, the two of them dig in.

They end up ordering another platter. Will theorizes that, in total, they eat at least seven whole potatoes.

“How many fries do you think is in one potato?”

“A yukon?” says Will. “Like, twenty-five, at least. Wait, hold on, pass me your napkin, lemme do the math.”

“Gods, you are such a nerd.”

Will loses count of how many times they refill their sodas. Too many. Camp food is usually very healthy — as head medic, Will has to set an example, but it’s just Nico, here. Will eats himself into a minor food coma and relishes in it. When Nico asks if he wants to order one of the giant milkshakes, he doesn’t hesitate.

“Duh. Strawberry.”

“Gross, Solace. Vanilla or nothing.”

“Basic ass bitch.”

“At least I’m not vying for strawberry!”

By the time Nico gets up to go get their bill, the sun has long since set. Will realises he forgot to put his watch back on after his shower, and has no idea what time it actually is.

“Nine-thirty ish,” Nico says, opening the limo door for him. “We’ll be back at camp at ten.”

Will grimaces. “Fuck. Will Jules-Albert chill overnight? If we try to go back to our cabins, the curfew harpies are gonna eat us.”

“Scared, Solace?”

Nico’s eyes are bright and teasing. Will wonders how the hell other campers find him so frightening — the little twitches of his mouth are so obvious. Some people are just oblivious.

“Of course I’m scared, you dickhead. What am I gonna do, sing a hymn until they go away?”

Nico snorts. “You worry too much. They’re afraid of me, you know. They’ll steer clear.”

“You have a lot of confidence in how much you scare people, which is crazy for someone who’s five eight.”

“Oh, piss off.”

Will grins. “Never.”

The drive back to camp feels shorter than it is. The limo’s seats are stupid comfortable, and Nico is a warm presence beside him, and more than anything, Will is exhausted. Last time he slept was — Thursday? He’s pretty sure? He definitely slept on Wednesday, and he’s pretty sure Kayla locked him in the back office with a pillow on Thursday. But maybe that was this morning.

“Will, hey.” A cool, calloused hand brushes over his forehead, and he leans into it, humming. “Get up, you loser. We’re here.”

Will groans. “Five more minutes.”

The soft, gravelly chuckles are the most musical things he’s ever heard. “Up you get, Sunshine, or I’ll let the harpies eat you.”

That gets Will up fast. He shoves Nico away, who’s still snickering at him, grumbling as he crawls out of the limo.

“It’s like you want me to die of stress.”

“Nah.”

They wave goodbye to Jules-Albert, who disappears in a blink. Halfway up the hill, a hand closes around his. Will glances over to Nico in surprise, but he looks resolutely ahead.

“I can feel you freaking out.” He clears his throat. “I told you, Solace. I’ll protect you.”

“That’s not what you said,” Will grumbles, but it’s hard to get his attitude across when his cheeks ache from smiling.

Nico ends up being right — the harpies steer clear of them. He looks very smug about being right, smirking all the way up to the Apollo Cabin door. He walks him up the creaking steps, pausing at the door. He lets go of Will’s hand, which is kind of a bummer. Will had liked holding his hand — physical proof that Nico was becoming more comfortable with him.

“So,” Nico says, rocking back and forth on his heels.

“So,” Will parrots, grinning. He grins wider at Nico’s scowl, gently illuminated by the soft glow of the Apollo cabin. “I had fun tonight, Nico. I needed that.”

Nico’s whole face softens. “Yeah?”

“Yes.” Will smiles at him again. “Thank you.”

For a second, Nico’s slight smile melts into a more serious expression. Will finds himself lingering, searching Nico’s face. Waiting.

Quick as a dart, Nico leans up and presses a kiss to Will’s cheek.

“Oh,” Will breathes, eyes wide. His fingers come up and brush the spot Nico kissed, skin tingling.

Nico looks at him nervously. “Was that okay?”

It takes Will a solid few seconds to answer. Even then, it’s not any recognizable words — more of an embarrassing hnnnnngh wha.

Nico grins. “Goodnight, Sunshine.”

“Nico — wait.”

“Harpies, Sunshine.”

Will could swear he sees Nico’s shoulders shaking with laughter as he walks away. Which — huh! Pardon! Excuse.

“Nico! Was! Was this a date!”

“I’ll see you in the morning, Will.”

“Nico!”

Nico disappears down the bend without answering. Will manages to catch the curve of his smile before he goes.

He doesn’t sleep a wink.

[engeorged]

Aster's Maze

Follow up to Obi's Place and Santa’s Otto

Art by @badoobers

Words by @engeorged

I know it’s been over a year since I posted, but it’s been quite a journey for me. One I’m not even sure if I’m ready to talk about. The encounter with Obi changed me somehow and I’m not the same person I was. I can’t quite seem to settle anywhere for very long any more. I feel restless, and to be blunt, like I’m not quite fully present wherever I am.  My mind is always in a different place?

Let me go right back. By now, you’ve probably read about my encounter at Obi’s place. I’m not gonna lie, I was a wreck for a few days. It was like a hangover meets a sausage casing? The amount of food he’d packed in me took days to digest. I was swollen for 72 hours, not really able to do anything but sleep and go to the toilet. (I’ll spare you the details although I’m aware a few of you out there will want them you dirty bastards!!) I didn’t check my messages the whole time but after my last post, a lot of you had reached out to me. Turns out there’s quite a few of these guys around and they don’t fuck about! The pictures you all sent me were quite eye opening! (That's maybe for another post!)

The whole thing felt like a dream, but on reflection I realised it was a pretty good dream. I hate to admit it, but being able to eat that much food was quite a turn on. I tried for months to find him again and ask what he did to me. I’ve not been able to repeat it by myself, and trust me, I’ve tried. I can’t really even eat half of what he put into me. Every few weeks I would sit down in a restaurant or a buffet place and just block the afternoon out and eat as much as I could to see what would happen. Now I’m a big guy (and getting bigger!) and I could probably out eat most people if it came down to it but there’s just no way I can get as full as I did that morning. My belly is definitely increasing in size and capacity but still, without whatever magic he was using I can’t do it again. 

To cut a long story short, I ended up travelling. The few stories you sent me (that weren’t totally nuts) were fascinating, but from all over the world. I’ve been searching for trolls in Norway, piscies in the UK, dragons in china, tikoloshes in Africa. Nothing! Not a single bite. I was starting to believe that maybe it was a hallucination from being so over tired. Maybe the stripes on the road had hypnotised me as I drove or something. 

I’m currently living in Greece for a bit. I’ve pretty much run out and so I found a casual labour job on a building site in Greece. It’s a bit of a shit show to be honest,  but all I have to do is turn up and lay bricks for a few hours in the afternoon and I get paid! The extra bit of timber I’d put on means I break a sweat the second I get up, as even though it’s early autumn, here it’s still 24 degrees by midday! 

It was coming up to lunch time on the site when I started feeling a bit faint. I realised I’d not had anything to drink for a few hours and I was super dehydrated. I grabbed my water bottle and when lifted to my lips, only a few drips came out, so I had a scan of the area and saw a guy with a cart selling gyros and beers. Usually the street food was pretty good around here so I headed over, still wearing my tight high viz vest. As I got close to the stand I started to realise how hot the guy was selling them, now I’m newly ‘out’ and so I don’t still fully know what my type is but I can tell you reader, this guy was everyone’s type. He was stacked, his arms were like ripe watermelons and as I got close I realised how huge he was. I’ve told you I’m 6’5, but this guy towered over me. He must have been 7 feet easily. His hair was everywhere and he had this crazy medallion around his neck with a symbol on it I recognised from somewhere. 

Now, I know my story has ended up on some niche websites and blogs, so I know what you pervs are all waiting for. So here it is. His gut was potentially the hottest thing I have ever seen. It was huge. He was so tall it was practically oval. Firm and round and pushing against the buttons in his shirt. It was like he wasn’t even tempted to hide it. In fact, as I approached, he lifted his arms above his head to stretch which meant that there was a good three or four inches of furry dome poking out from underneath. He looked as stuffed as I was at Obi’s. As I got nearer I started to regret my decision to go over. I must have looked like an absolute state. I was wearing my battered work jeans and fluorescent jacket, covered in brick dust and sweat and I absolutely stank. A 280 lbs slab of man like me working in 30 degree heat is a recipe for funk, and I was dripping with it. He looked up and saw me so there was no going back, I committed and walked up trying to look cool. Something about him made me want to melt into a puddle. I said ‘Yasass’ in my best Greek accent and he replied with a bass filled ‘Hello, how can I help you’ in perfect English. His accent was vaguely British with a hint of Greek overlayed. The rumble of his voice made something shift inside me. I think I was in love. 

I ordered two beers and paid him. Lifting it to my lips, thirst took over and downed one on the spot. I didn’t really want to leave, I wanted to try and get his number or something. I downed the second beer and I could see it must have impressed him as he leant forward in his cart and offered me another. I ordered two and offered him one which he took. We stood chatting about the weather and what I was up to and as we chatted he started putting together a huge gyro full of amazing smelling meat. There was a hint of salad at the bottom but the thing was packed as tight as his shirt. He wrapped it up with his strong hands and offered it to me. I took it immediately and took a big bite, within minutes the thing had gone. It was the best tasting thing I’d ever had. When I finished I realised he’d just been watching me eat it, not saying anything. His dark eyes focussed on me making me feel very seen. He had very keen eyes that looked deep into my soul. (I know how pretentious that sounds, don't worry, but you’ll see I’m right in a minute!)

I jokingly said I could eat another one and before I’d finished my sentence he had one there in his large paw! I won’t bore you with the details because there will be a lot more later but suffice to say I ate 3 of his huge gyros. I was substantially full, my own belly was beginning to push out against my work clothes and I’m pretty sure I lost a button  I offered to pay but he wouldn’t take it. He just said he’d see me again. I went back to work on the site very full and very horny!

I stopped by for lunch every day for the next week and a half. In the evenings I discovered he owned a small but very cool restaurant bar selling the same food but with the addition of a whole selection of spirits and cocktails. It was a full two weeks before I plucked up the courage to ask him out. There was just something about him that drew me in. Reflecting back I don’t know if we actually spoke about much. Even now I know very little about him. All I remember is his huge belly, round and tight, every day staring at me. Perfection in a fursuit. I remember that he had a few piercings. The medallion round his neck had chains coming off it connecting to nipple piercings. He also had a heavy gold nose ring, which, if I wasn’t thinking with my dick, might have been a bit of a clue. I was looking out for whatever Obi was, not whatever he was. And is, I guess? 

On reflection, and with what I know now, he was strategically increasing my already substantial belly capacity for the game. (More on that later) Every meal, he would give me a little bit more food. A bag of stuffed vine leaves here, some baklava there, extra meat in the wrap, a special sauce, larger wraps. Before I knew it I was eating 6 of his gyros twice a day with whatever accompaniments he palmed off on me that day. Every evening I would spend bloated and swollen, nursing my aching stomach whilst thinking of Aster. (Oh I forgot, one thing I did get out of him was his name) I guess I should add that I didn’t twig what was happening in case that’s not obvious. I was bewitched by everything about him to the point where I didn’t realise he was testing me out for something much bigger. 

A few weeks in I had a penny drop moment, I’d just finished my 6th evening gyro and he was making me one more to finish me off. My belly was huge, packed with the supply of food he’d been encouraging me to eat. I was wearing a now painted-on shirt and I was standing in the street at 5pm obediently stuffing myself silly with his street food. I’d gone past full a few gyros ago and it was now simply pushing and stretching my stomach more and more. The feeling of the stretch (as some of you probably know) is exquisite. I’d experienced it fully with Obi and I’d been chasing that feeling all over the world to get to that place of total engorged capacity and it dawned on me suddenly I was there again. Something about that day made me realise I'd met another one of these creatures. Aster wasn’t human. 

I swallowed down my last bite and took the next one from his massive hairy hand. I looked at him properly for maybe the first time. Looking past my own lust and attraction and I saw that he wasn’t quite ‘right’. His hair was shaped in such a way that hair didn’t really grow. His side burns were much more than a side beard and that ring in his nose was huge because his nose was so large and flat. And his belly! No human belly would ever be that size and rounded shape when it was that big. It would be sagging down over his belt, not sitting proudly on top of it defying gravity. I started eating the food he’d made me and asked him outright. ‘Who are you?’ He looked me in the eye and said with a slightly crooked grin ‘Obi said you could eat.’ 

I stood back aghast. He was one of them. I had so many questions. But before I could ask any of them he started packing up his cart. I found myself rooted to the spot while he packed away. I literally couldn’t move. As he grabbed the handles he turned to me and put his large hand on top of my distended stomach and winked. And that’s when I saw it. The little purple twinkle in his eye. With that, he was gone and I was finally able to move. The fullness I was not noticing yet hit me and I nearly sat down on the pavement where I stood but I managed to pull myself together and make it back to the site where I did very little work. He’d fed me as much as Obi had done but without me noticing. And I let him! 

I could hardly wait for opening time at the restaurant that evening.  Still full from lunch,  I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to ask him out or just demand some answers. When I saw him behind the bar, cleaning a glass with a tea towel I knew what I wanted. I marched right up to the counter but before I had a chance to speak he pulled out a single purple rose which he handed me. As I looked at him in the low light, I realised all his confidence had fallen away and he was genuinely a little nervous. Turns out he’d fallen for me too. He ended up asking me on a date. Who knew a 7 foot tall Minotaur would be such a hopeless romantic. (Yeah I just dropped that in. I didn’t know how else to say it really! It is what it is?) He told me that he finished around midnight but that he had somewhere he wanted to take me and would that be alright. I agreed, obviously! And parked myself on a table by the window to wait for him. 

Even though the restaurant was pretty busy, he found time to be quite attentive. Every hour he brought me another rose and a plate of something to eat. By the time it was midnight I had a vase full of flowers and a belly full of Greek food! Bear in mind I was stuffed from lunch and I arrived at the restaurant at 6. So do the math to work out how full I currently am. That’s important for the rest of the story! As the final customers left I watched as he whipped round the place lifting the chairs and sweeping up as fast as he could. It was kind of cute to see how keen he was. When it was all done he explained to me that he wanted to take me somewhere that was special to him, somewhere he thought I would enjoy. He looked a little sheepish but I agreed. We walked through town (slowly I might add, I was basically round at this point) as he held my hand. Not many people can make me feel small but walking around holding this giant's hand was quite humbling. At this point I think my belly was bigger than his but he was still over half a foot taller than me. Being near him calmed my stomach too. It was like I was just pleasantly full when I was near him, not dangerously packed to bursting. We chatted a little bit but we mainly walked in silence, happy in each other's company.

We arrived at a sort of park on the edge of town. There were a few ruins we walked past but we ended up at the edge of what looked like a small cave. In any other setting I would have run a mile but he has been so tender with me I just felt super safe. In the moonlight, at the edge of the cave we stood looking into each other's eyes. He slowly leant in to kiss me and I let him. As he leant back I felt myself rooted to the spot again unable to move. He started walking backwards into the cave and as the dark consumed him he winked again and beckoned me to follow him. After a minute the effects of whatever it was wore off and I was able to slowly walk into the cave. After a few steps I discovered that  it was lit all along by torches and it started to become more of a corridor. There was no sign of Aster but I carried on into the maze. As I walked I felt a little rumble in my stomach. I brushed it off as just digestion starting and kept going. After a few turns it saw a few petals in the ground. The massive softie had left me a trail to follow. 

Eventually, I came across a small recess in the wall with a little table set into it and a candle. I sat down on one of the chairs and Aster emerged from out of the darkness with two heavy cloched plates. He sat down and put the plates in front of us. He pulled the cloches off to reveal a sizeable plate of oysters. I smiled and he smiled back. I found myself inexplicably hungry and went to take my first one, but he leant over and stopped me. He picked up a large oyster and lifted it to my lips. I smiled and opened my mouth and titled my head back. If I’m totally honest I’ve never eaten oysters before but I’d seen it in films. I knew I was supposed to swallow them whole so fortunately I didn’t make a tit of myself. I don’t know if you’ve had them before but I’m not gonna lie, they taste good but they are like swallowing snot! Being fed them was hot though! Knowing I had the full attention of this slab of man was really doing it for me! He fed me a few and then sat back and I did the same for him! Watching his heavy Adam's Apple bob up and down as he swallowed was a surprising new kink I discovered in that cave! 

Suffice to say, it was like time worked differently in that cave. We’d only been there a few minutes and there were a fair few oysters on each of our plates. Maybe 3 dozen each? They didn’t really take long to eat but it felt like we were there for hours. I wasn’t counting the oysters but by the time we’d cleared the plates, my belly had advanced quite a way. Like way more than a few dozen oysters would have done. It was still tight and round but it was a lot bigger and heavier. It appeared that my tank top had ripped at the edges and so I just took it off. Even though we were underground it wasn’t cold so I was happy in just my jeans. 

I looked at Aster and he had the biggest grin on his face. His own belly was beginning to blow out from our oyster binge. I could see even more of his substantial furry belly pushing out from his shirt. I wasn’t sure if he looked taller at that point? Everything about him was larger in some way and he was meatier and hairier too. (Yes every part of him was bigger. I won’t say more than that!) He was absentmindedly rubbing the underneath of his belly curve as he watched me readjust to my new bloated mass. His eyes were both kind and predatory at the same time. We stood there for a little while admiring one another until he winked and shimmered like Obi used to. With that he was gone and the chase was back on. I lumbered on further into the maze of tunnels, my swollen midsection slowing me down considerably. The path twisted and turned as I was led deeper in. 

I couldn’t tell you how long it was until I found him. At first, I began to hear running water and so, for want of any other clues, I followed the noise. The walls of the maze were beginning to look less constructed by human hands and more cave-like, I guess? Stone bricks giving way to actual stone. I even thought I saw a few flashes of gemstones here and there but I was more interested in my next meal. Even though I must have eaten a week's worth of food so far, I was still inexplicably hungry. I don’t know if I can describe how it felt. My insides felt packed full. Like totally solid. There was very little give to my belly. And yet I knew I wanted more. Actually I needed more. The stretched feeling I have when I’m around these guys is something I’ve never experienced before. 

Eventually, the water got louder and louder until I walked through a stone archway and found myself in a cavernous expanse. The sound of water turned out to be an underground waterfall, the water cascading down into a piercing blue lagoon. The ceiling was lit with some sort of glowing insects which were making a melodic rhythmic chirping sound. I searched around the expanse until I found him. He was sitting with his legs in the water next to a fire where he seemed to be grilling fish. It was the first time I’d seen his legs and they were indeed as you would imagine them to be. Covered in thick black hair. I couldn’t see his feet as they were in the water but I am guessing he didn’t have five toes at this point. It seemed that he was becoming more of his true self the closer we got to the centre. I made my way round and joined him sitting by the water. It was one of the most beautiful places I’d ever been. We sat there for a few moments in silence. Enjoying the beauty. I realised after a while that he was holding my hand.  He turned his attention to the fire and pulled out a perfectly grilled fish which he placed next to himself and he began to break off pieces of the succulent meat and began feeding it to me. The fish melted in my mouth. It was so succulent and tender. I ate the whole thing quickly and he brought a second fish over and put his hands back on the floor as a signal for me to feed him. I obliged, tenderly placing it into his mouth. We did this for a while until all the fish he was cooking had gone. He leant forward and I thought he was going to kiss me again but instead he plunged his hand into the water and pulled out more fish. I’m no expert but I know one of them was a Salmon, and a pretty big one at that. And I think there was a rainbow trout and something else sort of blue? We carried on eating and cooking and eating and cooking for hours. The time weirdness means I have no idea how long we were there or how many I ate at this point, but looking at the both of us we were both much bigger. I don’t know if it’s part of the atmosphere or I genuinely ate that much but there it was.  My own belly was enormous. Way bigger than I had been in the diner. His gut was spectacular. Round and hairy and now totally free from his shirt. Bear in mind he was nearly 8 feet at this point.

He reached over and tenderly began to massage my own swollen stomach. His hands, surprisingly gentle, but firm. I closed my eyes and relaxed and basically let him do what he wanted to me. All of my senses seemed to be heightened, every little touch was like a wave of ecstasy flowing across my skin. His smell was heady, strong and potent and filling my nostrils. Eventually, I realised he’d gone but I stayed there for a little while longer. Partly because it was so beautiful but also partly because I could hardly move. 

I pulled myself to my feet, hauling my cantilevered belly up. It was still self supporting and jutting straight out from me into the air. I wished there was a mirror somewhere so I could have seen it properly. I saw an opening in the wall near the waterfall so I followed it through into a darker and more narrow part of the maze. The walls were closer than before and there were a few parts where I was worried I might not get through with my newly ballooned gut. After a while I started to smell the aromatic smell of cooking pork which made me instantly hungry again. I followed the smell and found three doors with a riddle written above it. I can’t remember the riddle but it was something about liars and guessing the way. You can probably guess that I’m not the smartest guy, I’m not dumb, but when it comes to stuff like riddles I’m out. My belly was rumbling loud at this point too so I was distracted. I decided to just listen at each of the doors. Door one I could hear a whistling noise which I reckoned was some sort of drop. Door two was a distinct growling snore. Although Aster was super stuffed I was pretty sure it wasn’t him asleep, and having met some of these guys I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a cute teddy bear behind there! I approached door three and had a listen. I could just about hear a sizzling sound and with the smell of pork I couldn’t handle it so I threw the door open. I wasn’t disappointed! 

The room was a small stone cell with a fire pit sunk in the bottom. On top of it was a decently sized pig on a spit. I couldn’t see Aster so I stepped in gingerly. The door closed behind me and as I turned it dissolved into the wall. There was no way out. I stepped into the room and looked into the shadows at the edges.  And there he was, taller than ever. As he stepped out into the light of the fire I could see he’d changed more. The first thing I noticed were the horns that had now sprouted from the top of his head. They weren’t massive but they were slightly curved and protruding from his thicker hair. The hair wasn’t just thicker on his head either. He’d now taken off his shirt and I could see the extent of it. He was pretty much covered in thick black hair all over his arms and sides. Virtually the only skin visible was across his bloated sphere of a belly. And that had a decent covering all along the bottom of the curve stretching up to a thick happy trail that snaked up to his hairy pierced pecs. The thick gold chain connects to his medallion. 

He spoke with a deep gravelly voice that I could literally feel in my feet. He told me under no circumstances was there to be any pork left before we left this place. Under any other situation I would have laughed. The pig had to be 200 lbs of meat. That would literally have taken any normal person a few weeks to eat. But here, with him, I knew right there that we would do it. I was apprehensive to think about how much my stomach would distend after that but I knew that whatever this place was it would be ok. I walked up to him and put my hands firmly on the sides of his thick belly and looked up. He looked down at me and bent his head to kiss me on the lips again. I smiled and sighed with contentment. Something special was about to happen. 

He pulled back and handed me a sharp knife, and took out one of his own and cut a slab of meat. The juices were rubbing down his arm. He pulled off the crackling and greedily began to eat it, crunching and swallowing it down. He offered me the meat and I eagerly opened my mouth to receive it. It tasted even better than it smelt and within minutes the whole slab had disappeared into me. We continued to feed one another the pork for a while, taking it in turns to slice off large chunks of flesh and sharing the delicious meat. We were soon covered in the stuff, our bellies continuing their rapid expansions. As we progressed, instead of slowing down we began to speed up. We even abandoned the knives and took to simply ripping off our next portions and guzzling down our haul. He fed me and I fed him and we ate ourselves. The boundaries of reality slipped away as we gorged on the meal together. (Yes I know that sounded a bit twatty but that’s how it felt. How many pigs have you shared with a fucking Minotaur?)

We didn’t take any breaks in our gluttony, the pig simply ended up inside both of us. I’d guess Aster ate more, simply because he is a good few feet taller than me but I didn’t notice him actually eating more. By the time the pig was reduced to bones we were both insanely swollen. My own gut was packed so big I couldn’t see anything else when I looked down. The skin tightly stretched over the vast quality of food it held inside itself. If I thought for a second about how much food I contained I’m not sure my brain could handle it. I looked like someone had slipped an air compressor up my arse and turned it on for a good half an hour. Physics had to be different in there because there was no way I’d have been able to stand up without some supernatural help. Looking at Aster, he was the same. Comically swollen, his huge abdomen surrounded by a sea of hair. The only difference between us is that you could still see some of his muscle definition.  The power and strength he contained was tangible when you looked at his animal-like frame. 

Covered in grease and bits of food we sat back admiring each other's new size. I wanna keep the story a touch modest, but he was clearly aroused by our efforts. I won’t go into details because I never kiss and tell, but fuck me he was a big boy! I’m glad there was magic in the site because after what we did next I could have ended up in hospital! 

After we had, erm, cuddled, we lay back with our heads next to one another. Our engorged stomachs stuck high into the air, solid and packed with food, unyielding in their size and volume. We stayed for a period of time and chatted about our lives. Aster clearly wasn’t wanting this to be a one off encounter. He was surprisingly affectionate and romantic for a half man half bull. He wanted to know all about me and my life and what my plans for the future were. It was such a tender moment I could have stayed there forever but Aster had one more plan up his sleeve. He pulled himself up easily and offered me a hand to help me up. I just about managed to get to my feet, helped by his superhuman strength I assume! Kissing me again he led me by the hand into the shadows where we found a new door. Fortunately, it was a double door as neither of us would have fit through anything smaller at this stage. We walked into a vast cavernous space. I didn’t think it was possible but it was even more beautiful than the underwater lagoon where we ate the fish. The glowing insects were back and this time other glowing creatures joined them. Small colourful lizards darted from rock to rock making patterns in the water that filled half the floor. Several smaller waterfalls fed this one, each framed by cascades of glowing plants with brightly shining flowers falling down.  Alongside the water was a long banqueting table covered with food. There were golden bowls and plates full of oversized fruits and bread. Huge slabs of roasted meats and wheels of cheese. At the end there appeared a large ornately decorated cornucopia which seemed to be the source of the food. Aster led me to the table and sat us both down in large oversized thrones. We’d made it to the centre of the labyrinth!

As we sat down, our swollen bellies resting on our legs I realised he had plans to carry on eating. Whatever magic was present meant I definitely felt hungry but there was no way I could physically move to get the food. I was practically pinned down underneath the sheer ridiculous size of my own belly. I was about to say this to Aster when I heard something move in the water. I looked across to see six men emerge from the water. I say men, we both know they weren’t that. If I had to guess I would say they were some sort of water nymphs? They had a pale bluey green tinge to their skin which had a faint shimmer to it as well. They were lithe and incredibly beautiful, their muscles and sinews visible underneath their skin. Their tight shorts left very little to the imagination and their eyes looked as hungry as I felt. They were here to feed us. 

I don’t know whether we were there for a few days or weeks or months. The food from the cornucopia kept coming and we kept eating. Non stop gorging, all enabled by the blue dudes. Their dexterous long fingers feeding us food and massaging our swelling bellies. We both ended up the size of trucks, our inhumanly swollen bellies stretching way past what was physically or morally possible. 

At some point we were done and we were pushed or rolled to the edge of the water. I slipped in and sank heavily to the bottom. Whether I was magically able to breathe underwater or whether I somehow didn’t need to breathe, I’m not sure, but Aster and I were able to move freely under the water. We swam for a while through caverns and caves, snaking away from the maze. When we surfaced we found ourselves on a small island just off the coast of the town. Away from the magical influence of the labyrinth, Aster was back to his more human form and his belly was vastly reduced but still clearly swollen. I was the same, my belly was huge, but it at least was obeying the laws of physics. Again, I don’t want to make the story any more r-rated than it needs to be so let’s say we spent some time with each other there. We needed some time to digest and recover as well. 

Friends, I don’t know whether what happened was a dream or some sort of vision, but I do know I’ve gained 50lbs in a few days. I have a very definite and prominent ball belly now, which I’m not unhappy about. I also have a new boyfriend. Unlike Obi, Aster was happy to stick around, so I do know that something happened. I don’t really want to ask too many questions from Aster because I don’t really mind if it was real or not. I know he’s here and I know we ate a shit ton of food and I know he’s not going anywhere

[angywritesstuff]

The one with “We were on a break”

I have had this one shot ready for a week, but I didn’t post it because is not festive, but today I said fuck it 😂

Pairing: Henry Cavill x reader

Summery: After a fight you and Henry decide to take a break… you spend all your night deciding if maybe you didn’t make a mistake, Henry spends his night differently Warnings: angst, cheating (is it cheating? is it not? if you have seen the episode of Friends this is inspired of, you know what I mean), child abandonment. Poorly written English, English is not my first language so I’m sorry if there are any mistakes

The last year had been difficult for you and Henry, the constant arguing, the couple therapy, the costant nagging every time he traveled for more than a week without you, the fear every time he went out with his friends.

It all had started 12 months ago: you had just been promoted at your job and you couldn't have been happier, after years and years of given your all to your job your boss was finally recognizing your effort, you were engaged to the love of your life, you had a beautiful house and a super cute and fluffy pup. But the promotion hadn't only come with the gratification of your effort being recognized, it was also followed by a lot more responsibilities and hours in the office.

Henry had been happy and supportive of you, of course he had been, he had always wanted for you to be fulfilled in every aspect of your life and he knew that, even if you didn't need to work because he could provide with anything you could need and want, you had always wanted to be indipendent, you didn't want him to think you cared about his money, not even for a second. You always joked that when he got tired of it he could just "hang up the cape” and you would give him an allowance.

Even though he couldn't have been happier for you and your accomplishments, the longer hours in the office had started to weigh on both of you and your relationship.

Your relationship had always needed a lot of work: Henry traveled a lot for his job but you had always managed because you used to have stable hours, but being now the head of your own team you couldn't always go back home at 5 p.m. like you used to, beside you had just been promoted you couldn't ask for time off already.

All of that had reduced the time you could spent with Henry when he was home and it had started a chain of reaction that had ended with the biggest fight you and your fiancè had ever had in four years of your relationship.

You could still remember that day, and the days after, like it was yesterday, you could still remembered the emptiness you had felt as soon as Henry had slammed the door of your house, you could still feel the dread of losing the love of your life for a mistake you weren't sure you could forgive.

-10 months before-

You were in your office with your boss Daniel, trying to fix the mess that was the last shipment, you could see your cell lighting up with Henry's calls, but you could also feel your boss eyes burning the back of your head so you couldn't really answer, beside you were almost done. You didn't know what time it was, you didn't know how long it had taken but you had done it: you had fixed the problem and you had impressed your boss.

"Good job today, I was sure you were the right person for the promotion but i'm happy I wasn't wrong"- Daniel, your boss had smiled at you… and he never smiled, so you took it as a win.

"Thank you"- you had said while putting your coat on

"Why don't you take the next couple of days off? I know the last couple of months, after your promotion, have been tough and don't think I haven't noticed that you have been the last one leaving the office almost everyday since getting promoted. The project is bascially done, we have fixed the shipment problem, I'm sure your team can manage the last details without you"- you wanted to jump for the happiness but had tried to stay professional.

"Are you sure?"- you double checked

"Of course, you deserve it. I don't want to see you until next week"- Daniel said while leaving the office.

You were on cloud nine, you were tired of course but you couldn't wait to be home: all you wanted was to get home, drink a glass of wine and tell Henry the good news. You couldn't wait to spend some time with Henry: maybe you could take a long weekend trip, it was going to be amazing.

You arrived home and the first thing you noticed was that Kal didn't come as soon as he heard your car and that could mean only two things: he and Henry weren't home or Kal was too busy taking care of Henry to come to the door and that worried you...

"Babe? Kal? I'm home"- you said while hanging your coat. Henry didn't answer you but you could now hear Kal wining and the tv on so that meant he was home.

You went to the living room, sure that Henry was there by now, even if he hadn't answered when you had said hi, maybe he had just fell asleep while watching a film.

Only when you entered the living room you were able to noticed that the table was set, a simple candle as center piece, and a bouquet of red roses was resting on what was supposed to be your side of the table. Henry was on the couch and it was clear he was very much awake

"Babe. I'm so sorry, I-" you tried but he didn't let you finish

"it's 11 p.m. Y/n, you told me you were going to be home at 6 at most... at 6 and it's 11 pm"- you could see it was upset and the last thing you wanted was to have a fight. You were so tired, you just wanted to hug your boyfriend and go to sleep preferably with your bear of a man and your baby-bear of a pup keeping you warm.

"I know I'm sorry, I really tried but the shipment department made a mistake and it took a while to fix it but listen-" he stopped you again and now you were getting annoyed. He knew there were really few things that got on your nerves and people not letting you speak was one of them. But you took a deep breath trying to stay calm as long as you could because you could see Henry was mad and one of you needed to keep a clear head if you wanted to avoid a fight

"You tried, yeah that's what you keep saying, that's the only thing I have been hearing from you in the last two months, well that and the message on your voicemail since you seem to have decided to stop answering my phone calls. Do you even remember what today is?”-he asked and even before he had finished to speak you wanted to curse. Fuck the roses, the home cooked dinner, he was wearing your favorite suit...

"It's our anniversary"- you whispered, it's not like you had completly forgotten, you had rembered this morning but you hadn't seen Henry before going to work since you had gotten out while he was still on his morning run, just to be sure not to get late. You had asked your boss to go out a little bit early but then the mess had happened and you had forgotten about the anniversary, about the dinner Henry had planned weeks ago without telling you anything about it, wanting it to be a surprise. He had only aked you to be there and well... you hadn’t been .

"Yeah it's our anniversary and I just spent it without even seeing my fiancè since she was busy working all day"- he wasn't screaming, Henry never did, especially not at you, but it didn't mean he was any less angry

"I tried, I swear I had asked Daniel yesterday to finish early but-"

"Daniel of course"- he interrupted you again and now you had had enough

"What's that supposed to mean?"- now you were getting angry... ok you were sorry you forgot about dinner, you were sorry you got home late, but calm-Y/n had run out of patience and you didn't like the tone your fiancè was using with you

"There is something I should know? about you and Daniel?"- Henry asked and in that moment you could have strangled him

"Please tell me you are not serious right now"- you tried one last time to reasoned with your fiancé

"Do you think I didn't noticed how he looked at you at your promotion dinner? How he always tried to get his hands on you?"

"OH MY GOD! Not this again, there is nothing between us, he is fucking married and even if he wasn't do you really think I would cheat on you? is that the consideration you have of me? Do you really think that low of me?"- you didn't know if you wanted to cry or scream, maybe a bit of both. You were sure your relationship was solid but now it almost seems like it was falling to pieces in front of you

"No of course not. I dont know"- Henry said sounding deffeated

"You don't know... after four years together you dont know"- you could feel tears starting to fall but you didn't give them any mind -"Maybe we should take a break"- you added after a while you and Henry had spent waiting for the other to say something

"Yeah... let's just take a breath, I'm gonna take a walk, do you want me to get you something while I'm out?"- Henry was looking at you and even though you wanted to stop your mouth before it could spell the next words, you couldn’t, it almost seemed like you had lost control

"I meant a break from us"- you muttered

"You want to break up?"- Henry asked and you could see he was shocked and mad all over again

"I..."- you wanted to tell no but you couldn't speak, you wanted to stop him while he was getting his coat, you wanted to tell him you loved him when he was almost at the door, but you didn't. All you did was watch the love of you life slamming the door of your house while crying, Kal spent the whole time whining

-Now-

You had spent that night crying, trying to reach Henry on his phone to tell him you didn't really mean it, you were just tired and a little bit mad, you wanted him to get back home so you could rest and have that conversation when you weren't running high on emotion.

You had wanted to tell him you didn't mean it, there was no way you had meant it.

You heard the door opening and Henry getting in the house, you took a deep breath and tried to stop thinking about the past: you and Henry had moved past that fight and what it lead to. You had needed months of couple therapy but you were finally in a good place again.

"Hey baby"- you said while hugging Henry, the memory of that night had left you needing a little bit of affection

"You ok?"- Henry asked, he could probably see a lingering pain in your eyes, the pain form remembering but you didn't want to bring up that fight again, you had talk it through in therapy and you were over it, but sometime you still thought about that night, about what you could have said differently, you still wished no mistake had been made at work so that you could have been home on time... nothing would have happened then, or maybe it would have anyway, who knew. Your therapist had told you there was no good that could come from the 'what if' but you couldn't help yourself and, even if he didn't tell you, you knew it was the same for Henry, you knew he still thought about it, he still wished things had gone differently.

"Yeah of couse, I can't stop thinking about our trip for our anniversary in two months. Paris here we come"- you laughed trying not to think that your anniversary would always coincide with the worst memory of your relationship with Henry. But you had both decided you didn't want to lose the pleasure to celebrate your anniversary.

Henry smiled at you while tenderly kissing your temple

"I love you"- he said and your heart warmed as it did every time you heard those words from him. You two were ok... yeah you were

"I love you too"

You were about to kiss Henry when you heard Kal barking and the ring of the doorbell soon after.

"Are you waiting for someone?"- you asked

Henry shook his head before going to the door, you decided to stay in the kitchen so you could start cooking dinner, whoever was at the door Henry could handle it. But when 5 minutes had passed and Henry hadn't yet come back and hand't invited whoever was at the door in, you started to worry

"Henry who was it?"- you asked while reaching Henry at the door, but once you were there you almost stopped breathing: she was in your house with a stroller at her feet.

-10 months before- the day after the fight-

You had spent the previous night trying to reach your boyfriend on the phone to ask him to come back home, to let him know there was no way you wanted to break up, not even take a small break. That wasn't true, you had just been a little bit mad and very tired. But your calls hadn't been asnwered. You had then decided to leave him a message

"Hey baby I'm sorry about our fight, I didn't mean it, of course I don't want us to take a break. I'm gonna wait for you in our bed ok? Please come home. I love you"- your message had said

You were sure that as soon as Henry would have listened to your message, he would have come back home and you would have made up. There was no doubt in your mind.

You had fallen asleep while waiting.

The next day you had woken up expecting to find the warm presence of your fiance next to you, his big arms hugging you like he always did but you were alone, Henry's side of the bed was made.

You started to worry: there was no way that Henry after listening to your message hadn't come home, something must have happened.

You were ready to call every member of the Cavill family, every hospital in town to make sure he was ok, when you heard the door closing.

"Henry?"- you knew you were almost screaming but you were scared, you had been sure your fiance was nearly dead until a minute ago, otherwise why hadn't he answered your calls, why hadn't he come home.

"Oh my god Henry"- you flew in his arms as soon as you saw him, he squeezed you in between his arms, almost like he was sure you were going to leave. - "I'm so sorry about yesterday, I was just tired, you were right I need to balance my work and my personal life better, but you need to know I would never cheat on you, not with Danel, not with anyone. Beside Daniel gave me the next couple of days off, we could take the car and go on a road trip, we always wanted to do that. Henry are you ok? Did you get hurt?"- you asked in the end when you finally noticed you had been talking for minutes without Henry saying anything back.

"I'm sorry"- he only said

"I know I'm sorry too, we just had a fight, nothing that a calm conversation with a hot chocolate can't fix"- you gently kissed him on the nose.

Now that you weren't scare to death for your boyfriend safety, now that you could finally breathe and think clearly you noticed that your phone hadn't stopped beeping since you had woken up

"Oh my god, what is happening? I swear to god if something happened at work again I'm quitting"- you went to pick up your phone to understand what was happening that had people blowing up your phone.

"i'm sorry"- you heard Henry's saying once again while you looked at the thousand messages people had sent you, every one of them had photos of Henry with his arms around someone else, of Henry entering an hotel with another woman, photos of Henry kissing a woman that wasn’t you.

You looked at Henry and when he once again said sorry you were sure you were gonna be sick

-Now-

And now that woman was on your door step, with a straller on the floor at her feet.

"what is she doing here?"- you asked Henry and you knew you sounded harsh.

You could see the hurt in Henry's eyes, the fear of losing you, the same fear you had worked on together on therapy, you could see it, of course you could, but at the same time you could also see the woman your fiancé had cheated you with in your home, with a baby in toe.

“I don’t know”- Henry said unsure, it was clear he didn’t know who to look at, his eyes kept going from you to the women at your door to the baby no one had talked about yet.

You wanted to run, you really did, the woman that had almost broke your relationship forever was in front of your fiancé and even though you didn’t think Henry would hurt you like that again you weren’t going to risk it. You didn’t want to hate her: it was Henry who was in a relationship back then, he was the one who had made the mistake, but still you didn’t want to see her.

“I don’t want it”- the woman said bringing back you on earth

“What?”- Henry said

“I don’t want it, the baby, it’s yours. You can do whatever with it, you can keep it or give him up for adoption, I don’t care”- she sounded like she was talking about a thing and you really wanted to punch her

“You can’t just leave your baby with me, you don’t even know me”- Henry said while you stood there looking at the scene like it was a movie you were watching, like it wasn’t really happening in real life, like it wasn’t happening in YOUR LIFE.

“It’s not my baby”- she said before turning her back to you and leaving, the baby was still asleep in the stroller on the floor.

Henry picked the stroller up, and started to go in the living room, probably trying to understand what to do now

“Y/n”- Henry called you once he noticed you stood still at the door but you couldn’t move. You wanted to look at your fiancé but you knew once you did everything was going to become real or well real for you at least.

“Y/n, baby”- Henry said coming back to you once he was sure the baby was safe and asleep. He gently shook you, trying to get you to look at him and not at the now closed door

“You have a baby”- you just said

“I-“

“You have a baby with another woman… you had a baby with the woman you cheated me with”- you knew you sounded like a broken record but you were still processing

“We-“- Henry tried but you stopped him before he could even really begin

“Don’t even try saying that we were on a break, because I swear to God Henry… Fuck, you have a baby, and it’s not mine, fuck”- the tears were coming, you knew it, but you couldn’t help it, what do you do when your fiancé have a baby with the woman he has cheated you with?

“I think I need a moment”- you said

“Ok”- Henry said thinking you were going to go to the bedroom, but soon it was clear he had been mistaken -“where are you going?”- he asked when he saw you putting shoes and coat on and opening the door

“I need a moment”- you left without even looking at you.

You knew you should have stayed, you didn’t want to hurt him, you really didn’t but at the same time you were feeling all the hurt you had tried to leave behind and you didn’t know what to do.

-10 Months ago, the day after the fight-

“Y/n, talk to me please”- you had been staring at your phone for what it seems like hours without saying a word and Henry was starting to get worried. He tried to gently take your arm but you took a step back

“Don’t touch me”-

“I’m sorry, Y/n I made a mistake, an horrible one but I’m sorry”- Henry tried again

“A mistake?! You slept with another woman Henry”

“She didn’t mean anything”

“And yet she was worth jeopardizing our relationship”

“I didn’t think there was a relationship to jeopardize, I thought we were broken up”

“I asked for a break, a break I was ready to call off as soon as you got out of the house, I tried to call you so many times last night but you were too busy screwing someone else to answer me. You were busy sleeping with another woman after you had just accused me of cheating”-

“I’m sorry, I thought we were broken up, it doesn’t justify what I did I know, I fucked up but please, please, tell me we can fix it, tell me how to fix it”- Henry asked with glossy eyes

And you just stood there looking at the man you loved asking yourself if you would ever be able to forgive him

-Now-

You weren’t even sure where you were gonna go, you weren’t even sure what to do, you just got in the car and stood there.

You just stayed in the car, in front of your house where your fiancé was alone with a month-old baby, a baby that you didn’t give him.

You looked at your phone, you didn’t even know how but you had spent an hour in your car without doing nothing, you took a deep breath and looked at the house: there was no doubt anymore, you knew what you were going to do.

You exited the car and got in the house; you could hear the baby’s screams, so you let them lead you where your man and the baby were.

“You’re back”- Henry took a deep breath as soon as he saw you: you didn’t know if it was because he didn’t know if you were actually going to come back tonight or at all, or if he was hoping you could help him with a baby that apparently had been crying for a while, almost for as long as you had been gone.

“Why is the baby crying? Did you check the diaper? Did you feed him?”- you asked getting closer to Henry and gently caressing the baby’s feet

“You’re back” Henry said again

“Henry focus, yes I’m back”- you looked at your fiancé’s eyes for the first time since you had been back and you could see he was just as scared as you, you were both scared you weren’t going to survive another tsunami

“You left”- he just said

“I know, I’m sorry, I needed a moment or an hour apparently”- you shrugged

“Where did you go?”- he asked

“Nowhere actually, I just got in the car and stayed there, I needed a moment but we are gonna be alright, ok?”- you caressed Henry’s curls before pooping the baby nose softly watching the baby stopping screaming for a second before starting again -“we’re gonna be ok, we are probably gonna need to schedule a couple appointments with the therapist, but we are gonna get past this, but we need to focus on the baby right now.”

“Ok”- he just said waiting at you for direction… oh your man

“I think she left some formula and some diapers so I’m gonna take care of the baby and you are gonna make some calls”

“Calls?”

“Yes Henry calls. You need to call one of your brothers to get some stuff for the baby, the last thing we need is paps seeing me or worst you buying baby stuff, we need to be careful, at least until we have a better understanding of the situation. You also have to call your lawyer we need to know what to do, how we can be sure the baby is safe, how we can be sure no one can take him from us”- you were on a roll

“Us?”- Henry asked still shocked about the whole affair

“Yes us, if this baby is yours we’re gonna take care of him, love him like he deserves, like I know you have wanted to do as soon as she said it was your baby even if you haven’t said anything because you think I’m gonna leave you, I’m not. If you are the father, this baby is mine too, that’s it! But Henry tomorrow you need to make one more call, we need to have a paternity test made and probably have a doctor take a good look at him, just to be on the safe side”- you could see Henry’s heart breaking a little.

The little man has been in his life for just an hour and he was already attached, he was heart broken at the simple idea of giving him up.

“Henry I really hope she told the true, I know you want to be his father, but if you’re not, don’t you think his father deserves to know?”- you gently smiled at him

“You’re right”

“Of course I am, I always am right”- you smiled at him knowing that you were going to be alright. The baby, who had calmed down a little as soon as you had taken him in your arms and had started bouncing around, gave a little scream of unhappiness

“Yeah someone is hungry, aren’t you baby boy?”- you softly said to the baby.

You looked up, knowing that Henry was looking at you two and seeing his eyes filled with love you knew you were gonna make a beautiful family

“We’re gonna need a name”- you and Henry smiled

Ps: Feedback is always welcome and appreciated ❤️

Henry Cavill taglist: @xxxkatxo @mansaaay @thorins-queen-of-erebor @maan24 @grounded-in-light @omgkatinka @xprettyqueenx @marytudorbrandon @kebabgirl67 @narnianaos

(If you’re name is crossed it’s because I wasn’t able to tag you. If I forgot to tag someone please forgive me and tell me again 😅)

[avocadofics]

Bakugou x American!reader

Soulmate au fist words said on you writs.

CW: Bakugou swearing

You had had it translated.

You know how to say the words. But damn you soulmate spoke Japanese to you as their first words to you. It translated to someone like

“Damn fucking idiot ”

Wich did not add any confidence in your soulmate and your guys first meeting.

The first words spoken to you would be in another language you barley understand. While you had no clue if they spoke any English at all. It’s annoyed you why did this have to be so complicated. Most of you friends at least had easier time finding their soulmates or at least having a better chance.

You stood watching the freshman panicking as they try to get there bag from bag return and watch the chaperoning teacher pluck a bag up and hand it over to one. I ran a hand over your face with a sigh as you felt a headache coming on after your longs flight. You were ready for a long nice sleep. Although it was only about 5 pm wich meant travel to the beds.

Your school was here on a “hero” based trip. So you guys got to go to big named hero schools here in Japan. Some of the other students were aiming to be hero’s but you mostly planned to go into support. Not the engineering side of it no being “they guy in the chair” basically. Kept you out of the field but still doing good.

You’ve met serval American heroes and their support crew. People would be surprised by how much paper work heroes have and that after their crew did most of it. While it is a lot of paper work it’s also keeping a Birds Eye on the field and making sure information is kept straight while hero’s are in the middle of battle. So many people have been brought to justice just because the hero’s team was listening in the background.

So there you were standing in a dorm room the you surprising got to yourself. You flop onto the bed set an alarm so you don’t have anyone barging in to get you to the next activity and take a short nap.

You wake up to you alarm annoyed you weren’t aloud more sleep but it’s fine. You freshen up and go to the common room of the guest dorm building.

Mouse-bear-cat thing was sitting in the shoulder of a tired looking man with black hair and a grey scarf.

The creature spoke up “ hello students. Nice to have you here in Campus for the next two weeks. You will be split up into smaller groups and you will spend your time with the he equivalent students from our chorses”

You were plopped with the support corse students. It was honestly super nice. While you weren’t focused on support items your group did spend several days working on items.

Today was one of those days. You ended getting grease all over your outfit. You waked over to the sink and started scrubbing. Several hero corse students can in to work on their costumes so you decided to mostly stay out of the way seeing as you only understood your friends.

You grabbed some paper towels and took a step back accidentally bumping into somone who reacted by knowcking my over with there body.

I heard yelling and look up to see a blonde UA students with bright read eyes yelling at you.

You stand back up and turn to look at the Japanese student.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t looking where I was going” one the words came out of your mouth the loud blonde guy paused.

“No, your American?” He said in English. You nodded in slight confusion. As this students stood infront of you looking like he was not assumed. You were thinking till you realized while he was yelling he said what was in your wrist. Just because it was in another language doesn’t mean I did not learn it to each and every little sound.

“Uh, hi it’s nice to meet you.” You give a smile and offer your hand out to shake. He scoffs, he looked like he might say something when one of his friends spoke. He responded in loud tones. They went back and forth the boy infornt of you wad getting more anoyed as the conversation went on. You made eye content with your friend who give you a look of question. so you life you wrist to show if the characters then pointed at the boy infront of you. They roll their eyes and turn back to their work. The blonde boy finally tunes back to you.

“How long are you here in Japan”

“Uh I gues a little over a week.”

“Here my number of I don’t make a little effort the people I call friends will murder me. “ he rolled his eyes as he said this. You exchange numbers and that is how you met Bakugou katsuki

A/n first fanfiction I’ve actually uploaded I’m defiantly terrified about actually doing this but it’s okay. I had an idea and the beginning started off good but I think it dwindle towards the end

[jaylaxies]

okay i’m in fucking delulu land but i can’t stop think about it 

this is probably gonna sound a little stilted, but I'm literally freaking out at the thought

it sound like super cliche but just imagine 

you are some kind of famous person and you've been asked to do a traveling show about with enhypen. so you are going to european country for do content 

since there were 7 people and all the rooms were for 2 people, you were offered to choose a member to live with by drawing lots. but of course they couldn't just put you and one other guy to live together, so it was decided to rent a two-room room for you and two member and put you together (a room for you and two guys in a separate one). it was a long argument and hundreds of games of rock-paper-scissors, but in the end you had to live with jay and sunoo. it was a good way because you were really good friends with sunoo, but jay…. all the guys looked at each other when he turned out to be the one you were going to live with. from the first time you met him it was a vibe going and even without filming the show it was obvious how much you liked each other, so behind your back the guys were always teasing jay that he would spend the next week with his BiGgEsT cRaSh  in the same hotel room, albeit different rooms

and it goes calm first days, during the day you all went to different places to shoot, ate delicious food in cafes and all that, in the evening you went back to your rooms and usually just relax 

on the first day you sat together with all members having dinner and discussing the day, but you couldn't noticing HOW Jay was looking at you the whole time, trying to please you, making sure you always had food and exactly what you liked, he was so sweet 

on the second day you had a long shoot and everyone was very tired, so you came back to the room like squeezed lemons. even though you had a two-room room, there was still one shower. when you returned, you literally fell exhausted on the bed, not even having the strength to go to the shower, so you kindly let the sunoo go to the shower first. when you were lying in bed, Jay came out of his room, tired no less than you. he was also going to take a shower, so he asked if he could wait here and after your permission sat on the bed leaning on the pillows. do you remember how you talked about something that happened in the day, but the next moment you wake up next to Jay in the morning, you're all in the same clothes that you went to bed yesterday and with makeup on your face.... Jay's arms are wrapped around you from behind, holding you close, and his face is buried in the top of your head. trying to get out of his arms, you gently get up and go to the bathroom, on the way you meet sunoo, who has already woken up and giggling says good morning to you. you ask him about what happened yesterday, but he just replies, "I don't know, maybe I was in the shower a little longer than I was supposed to, but when I came out, you and Jay Hyun were already asleep on the bed, I tried to call you, but you didn't react, so I didn't wake you up." you were surprised how you could be so tired that you fell asleep without even washing off your makeup, but there was no time for these thoughts, since it was time to get ready for the shoot

surprisingly, even after what happened, there wasn't much awkwardness between you and Jay. yes, it was a little embarrassing, but you were still comfortable with each other and the day was fun. in your room, in addition to a large bed, there was also a large TV, so you decided to watch the newly released movie together. to be honest, it was sunoo’s idea, but towards the end of the film, he lost interest in hit and left to talk with a friend on the phone, leaving you and Jay alone. midnight, twilight and the uninteresting movie when you're lying next to Jay dressed in his sleeveless T-shirt and shorts... what kind of movie could be more interesting than this guy right now...? since the three of you were lying on a double bed, you were pressed close to each other, but after sunoo left, he did not move a millimeter, continuing to be also close and indignant at the stupidity of the behavior of the main characters of the film 

when the movie finally ended, there was silence in the room for a while, there was only muffled laughter and sunoo’s voice in the next room, you were still lying close just looking at each other, you saw how he periodically looked at your lips, you knew what it meant and it made you more nervous than ever. it was probably the stupidest decision in your life, but after a long time of eye contact, you only gave out "well, it seems it's time to go to bed," Jay's eyes widened, he was surprised and confused, but did not dare to contradict you, so he simply replied "mmm, yes, if you want...". at the same second you thought what a fool you were, but there was nothing to return, so you turned your back to him and covered yourself with a blanket so that he wouldn't see your embarrassed expression. jay was confused by this situation, so he lay down with a big spoon to you and gradually put his hand to yours, hugging you from behind, but not snuggling too much for fear of causing discomfort. you wanted to fix the situation somehow, but you didn't know what to do at all, so you just stroked his hand lying next to him, wanting to show that it wasn't a rejection of his feelings or something like that

you pressed your back against his chest, wanting to be closer, you felt his breath on your neck, and your hips intuitively moved to his. snuggling up to him, you felt his bulge and you both realized that you realized what it was. he tried to move a little further away so as not to embarrass you, but this attempt was unsuccessful. no one was going to sleep and it was obvious, but you asked, "are you sleeping?" lie on your back and look at him a little from below. he grinned saying "no? wasn't it you who wanted to go to bed?", you laughed pushing him in the chest "maybe I changed my mind," Jay grinned and raised his eyebrows. "Oh, why?" he asked, changing his position and practically hovering over you. that was the last straw, you moved your hand from his chest to his cheek and kissed him. jay picked up the kiss very quickly, his arms wrapped around your waist and pressed you closer to him, his tongue was already walking over your mouth when his hands were under your pajamas, and yours were taking off his T-shirt. the situation was heating up by the minute, but you still remembered about sunoo, who was literally behind the wall with excellent audibility… 

babe you wrote a whole masterpiece fic please please please make a blog and post this for others to see and praise too‼️🤍 i literally have nothing to add oh god your mind is so amazing 🗣️🔊

[sixsixtwenty]

hi, hi💜 i was wondering if i could request SCP-076-2 x reader fluff/smut mix? :3 might be 2 vague, but go wild!!

i am bordeline obsessed with that man. (1 of my multiple husbandos so sue me.)

so. BET BUSTER. srry if it's short and shitty I've been going through some shit.

scp 076-2 x Reader

(fluff + smut)

You and Able have been dating for a little while now, around 1-2 years so average relationship! it has been VERY hard for him for the concept of relationships. let alone love.

(c'mon he's like 10,000 years old or something. gove this man a break relationship standards keep changing like plz-)

at first when he even remotely caught feelings he's not even accepting it. not even acknowledge it. he's just "well ok. i hate that. I'm gonna kill people."

but it's been bugging him over and over with his feelings about you, he's doubting the feelings and just thinks it's just another form of hate.

but every fucking time you're around or even walk past him let alone be in his eye sight he's crumbling.

sometimes even some guards around him who even caught a glimpse of his face could've sworn his cheeks becoming a bit pink.

(not able giving them a death stare right after)

he just didn't know how to adress it or even adress it at all and just let it fix itself.

but then someday you came up to him and did the dumbest (or luckiest) move and told him those 3 magical words.

he was. baffled. quite baffled.

"I love you."

"what?.."

"i love you Able."

"..."

He was. staring. staring into your soul? no. he's trying to stare into your mind.

but when he just kept staring you suddenly kissed his cheek..you kissed his cheek?

oh shit his cheeks are red CODE RED-

and literally 1-2 years later he's Your Boyfriend.

it's very quick to him but yet he isn't complaining.

and the day you brought up that you just wanted to be fucked by him/fuck him. (YOU SINNER! SATAN! COME GET EM-)

he was thinking about it because if you remember. he isn't opposed to sex. but now that you're here.

he's considering it.

eventually he finds himself in your room (he destroyed all the cameras too <3)

while you are just undressing yourself. your chest fully exposed to him and your sex showing.

in all it's glory.

his eyes are wandering all over especially to your sex wich is kinda surprising! but he's super into it.

and when your eyes stravel over to his body. his very muscular olive skinned body. your eyes also travel to his sex. noticing that he's pretty damn hard.

and gah dayum is he hard. he looks almost 10inch big. and you're like "well i hope that fits".

you throw yourself onto him (with his consent ofc bc consent is VERY sexy)

(im sorry in very tired rn so- no horny rn)

you stick his cock all the way into your mouth trying to deepthroat him while he's a grunting mess. and by the time he cums your mouth is filled to the brim.

trying to swallow it all before he just pins you down on the bed and fucking you into the mattress. (have you seen this man bro?)

he's incredibly rough once he gets the hang trying to fill your ass with his liquids (cum.) while you're holding onto dear life.

"you're fucking up my insides!"

"im not killing you."

"FEELS LIKE IT....but it's hot."

after you two finish up and you being a complete pastry because of a certain someone.

you just cuddle up to him. pushing your face into his chest doing this wiggle motion as if you're comfy asf. (let's be honest. his chest id both soft n squishy+ hard af)

wrapping your limbs around him. and him doing the same to you, his long hair hanging down and tickling some of your skin

it was. a very nice scenario for you.

you wrap your blanket around you both not caring if any of the forbidden juices land on the blanket.

he could've sworn you purred.

Able just feels at peace. just knowing that you're there for him. that you won't leave him

you're the only one who truly let yourself near him and didn't scream for your life.

"you're the only one.."

[ouatsqincorrect]

Do you think the whole fam would go on vacation together? Or a road trip? If so, what role would everybody play on the journey?

I have a few thoughts: Zelena would be the one stir up drama and start arguments during the flight/drive, just for the hell of it.

Regina and Snow are the ones spending loads of time together making dinner for the family every evening whilst on the vacation (it also gives them that extra bonding alone time). That's all I've got right now. How would you categorise the rest of them?

i like to think that, after emma and regina get together and the family starts becoming closer, they spend summers away from storybrooke. they just deserve a break, you know? whether that's going to new york and living there for a couple of months, or traveling around the world, experiencing parts of this realm they've never seen before. storybrooke is home, but it's also stressful as fuck being the people in charge of saving everyone every other day, and regina and rumple have enough money to make any travel plans possible

when they go anywhere in the u.s., they drive. a lifetime of riding horses to get everywhere will make plane rides seem not so fun, so they'll take everyone in a couple of cars and make whatever trek they've decided to venture out on. there are 11 members of this family, so usually, emma, regina, henry, the charming's and baby neal ride on one car. and belle, rumple, gideon, zelena, and robyn ride in another one. (although, when they live in new york for the summer, they take more than two cars just so they don't have to drive each other every where or use taxis--another thing none of them, besides emma) have really gotten around to

but when they go to places overseas, obviously, they have to ride on a plane. and you're absolutely right, no matter how they travel, zelena is always the one causing trouble. it's why regina forces her to ride with belle and rumple because she drove regina crazy the one time she was allowed to be in the same vehicle as her for a more than five hour long drive (belle says having zelena ride with them is like having a third child in the backseat)

and yeah, regina and snow are usually in charge of dinner. emma and david are usually on breakfast duty. belle and rumple figure out lunch, and regina and snow do dinner (zelena's useless--love her sm but this woman is more focused on causing chaos than figuring out this family's meal plan)

traveling with the rest of the family is super important to belle, because she's always wanted to see the world, you know? and now she gets to see it with the people she loves most. regina and her are usually the ones who plan out the day, like which museums they go to, what sights to see, and the two of them definitely geek out the most when going to art exhibits

rumple isn't the biggest fan of traveling, but he finds he actually does enjoy it when it's with the whole family. belle reminds him too that he spent so long trying to come to this world, he might as well explore it a bit. he also loves the museums, he's just quieter about it. david, zelena, and him end up playing card games to pass the time when they're not doing anything

henry finds movies at nearby theaters that they can all go see and emma and regina make sure to take him to video game museums and arcades so he gets to have some fun doing things he loves as well (they also love video games. this whole family is actually so nerdy but--)

they collect magnets from every city they go to, and they put them on the fridge at mifflin. regina's never been one to allow anything to hang up on her fridge, but when emma gets all excited about the idea of having a little piece from every place they've visited together, regina can't help but allow them to decorate her fridge with magnets

also, regina is still mayor, and she still takes care of business in storybrooke. they all do. they communicate with everyone back in storybrooke regularly because even if the job gets tiring, they still want to ensure their town and the people in it stay safe, but it's really fucking nice to leave their everyday live's behind for a little bit and just breathe, get a break, and spend some time together that's away from the weight of being storybrooke's personal heroes

[robot-roadtrip-rants]

Konrad Curze is yeeted to Gotham instead of Nostromo

A child mysteriously appears on the streets of Gotham and beats the living daylights out of whichever lunatic tries to kill him before Batman finds him. Batman, perennial foster failure of orphans, promptly adopts him. Motivated by a thirst for justice and violence, Konrad sets out to become the best Robin there is, and succeeds with flying colors because he’s a super powered transhuman. Damien is pissed about being outdone. Tim nicknames him Konny. Dick steps in as the Angsty Child Whisperer to get him to calm the fuck down. Steph and Cass are too busy getting screwed by editorial to make an appearance. Batman realizes immediately that Konrad’s physiology is hella op and embarks on an epic, years-long storyline to figure out what the hell is going on. At least three origins are introduced and then retconned. Konrad angsts about how he’s a monster who doesn’t belong anywhere. Much drama is wrung from this.

The writers keep using Konrad’s visions to foreshadow that Konrad is destined to be A Baddie. This goes on long enough that you start to suspect that the writers will never actually follow through on all that foreshadowing. Finally the DCU magicians are called in for a crossover, and this fixes all of Konrad’s problems for a few years. Unfortunately the spoopy visions are too good a story hook and eventually they come back just in time for Konrad’s other Primarch capabilities to properly manifest. More angst ensues. Someone travels from a bad future where Konrad became the totalitarian dictator of Earth after he snapped and killed the Joker for doing a genocide (or nuking New York, or starting the Fourth Plague Pandemic, etc.). All of the visions suddenly start focusing on Evil Future Konrad and how he'll murder people for jaywalking and it’s all very tragic.

Konrad flips the fuck out over his evil destiny just in time for the annual giant crossover event where Trigon or Darkseid or some other extradimensional monster invades. It might actually be good but the damn thing is spread out over multiple books and you don’t want to buy them all, so you ignore the missing chunks and just focus on the cooler splash pages of kickass fights. Konrad is nearly tempted to do An Evil but at the last second he is pulled back from the brink by the teachings of Batman, and possibly by the baddie gratuitously killing a popular B-list character. Instead he strikes the decisive blow and saves the day. Much rejoicing is had, and Konrad finally bids farewell to his evil destiny in a heartwarming scene where he is surrounded by the Batfamily. All is well in the DCU.

Five years later all of his character development is thoroughly destroyed when a writer decides he needs a shocking new villain.

Konrad fans lose their goddamn minds. Think pieces are written on all of the geek websites, Tumblr churns out discourse, Reddit churns out circlejerks, 4chan churns out gross memes, but somehow the worst takes all come from Twitter X. It’s chaos, absolute chaos, and honestly you’re kind of tired of it all, and the latest Batman cartoon looks pretty good, so you take a break from comics and just get your fix that way. Much later, you run across a drama write-up, which makes you wonder, whatever happened to Konrad Curze? You look him up on the DC wiki…but he’s gone. Vanished. Disappeared, just as mysteriously as he first appeared. It’s almost as if some mysterious entity whisked him away. A million theories circulate, but no one ever knows for sure.

The grim darkness of the far future may only contain war, but hey, at least it’s simple.

[aforrestofstuff]

Chapter 173 Expert Review: The "Hey, my boyfriend saw you across the bar and we really dig your vibe" Edition

The cover makes me so uncomfortable it's like I'm at a party and said something weird just as the music went quiet and everyone heard and they're all looking at me and everyone hates me and I'm so anxious and

Welcome to the Chapter 173 Expert Review! I have completely lost count of how many of these I've done. If you're coming here for a well-thought-out meta-commentary on the hit series franchise anime manga One Punch Man, then look elsewhere because I put a grand total of ten minutes of thought into this post that took me 45 minutes to write.

I hope you're all well. If you're new here from Twitter then yes, I'm really always like this and I apologize. I don't know how to segway to the actual commentary, so um......... here we gooooooo.....

I don't know what I was expecting. Could I have predicted that Murata would yassify Bofoi? Probably. Do I ever want to come to terms with the fact that he did? No.

Shut up I'm not saying anything. I'm not saying anything. I'm not. He looks like he's wearing those really oversized dentures at Party City. His head looks more like an egg than Saitama's. Why does he still look kinda.... no I'm not gonna say it. I'm not. I'M NOT. GET OUT OF MY HEAAADD RAAAAAAEERERARAAAAWW

I'D FUCK HIM!!!! I'D FUCK BOFOI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M TIRED OF PRETENDING HE'S NOT AN ENDEARING SORT OF UGLY OK IM SICK OF IT!!! I'M GONNA DESTROY HIS OLD MAN CERVIX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANNA FUCK HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How many enemies has Saitama made just by existing already. Is this number three? Sonic, God, and now Bofoi? Oh, well, I guess Saitama did fuck up his robots but that was self-defense 100% and it WILL hold up in the court of law.

Oh, okay. Now we have a better idea of the timeline since Saitama became a hero.... only two months???? Dude, I've had packages lost in the mail for longer than that.

I kinda thought he'd been a hero for at least six months. I guess what Garou said about coming back to fuck up the heroes after six months at the beginning of his arc was only a sort of red herring to make it seem like he'd be the world-ending Shibabooby prophecy, but in relation to how long Saitama's been a hero, turns out my guy only fucked shit up for like, what? One month?

Was this just obvious to everyone else except me. I really should've never learned how to read dawg.

THANK YOU Amai Mask for being the "Please explain the plot so readers with the comprehension skills of fourth graders can know what's going on" character in this because I swear to fucking god I had no clue what anyone was talking about.

Also, Ninja Leader makes an appearance as Blast's totally super platonic partner. Supposedly they were "searching for a mysterious cube" together. People these days make up such weird euphemisms for skipping work to fuck each other in a ditch, I swear. 🙄🙄🙄

A couple of things:

Is Blast wearing the Ninja Leader's glasses in the present? Oh, so they really were super platonic, huh.

You mean to tell me bro aged THIS MUCH in two years? 700 days ago he was late-twenties rager at Planet Fitness and now he's a 57-year-old salt and pepper daddy at the gay bar?

I guess it could have something to do with his powers, manipulating space-time and all that. Blast teleports through something that is basically a copy-and-pasted black hole, which could explain why time flows differently for him, but doesn't time slow down near a black hole? So he should be aging slower if anything.

So, did God age him? Is this even the same Blast that came in contact with God? Something something uuuhh time travel something something...

I don't fucking know. This could also just be a case of "Murata doesn't know how to draw people that look their age" although he's been getting better about that, at least... Just seems ODD to me that Blast has aged like an avocado in a manga where characters only seem to look younger as time goes by.

Very noble that he's fighting God alone with the Interdimensional Justice League and their Pocket Dimension Pool Table to protect everyone else. Something still feels fishy about this, though........ especially since he's a deadbeat ass dad in the webcomic. I don't trust a GODDAMN thing this boy has to say. I DONT CARE IF HE'S HOT!! And I think that is so brave of me.

Forrest has a theory and everyone's gotta hear about it a million times until he's proven otherwise.

Y'all already heard me say how God has one-sided beef with Saitama because Saitama broke the limiter God had placed on him, and I suppose that alone is still a decent reason for God to be pulled to Earth, but I still think God's full body (and power) is imprisoned in the dimensional seal Blast was screaming about as Saitama was fighting Monster Garou V2.

And Saitama's habit of fucking shit up as collateral for saving the world is further eroding God's jail cell, so he's unknowingly helping his enemy get closer to him. This fucking goober.

It makes sense because the massive body in the seal looks like a fully-formed person, whereas whenever we see God free, he's always a sort of unfinished skeletal figure. He's incomplete.

Is this another one of those things where it seems painfully obvious to everyone else except me. Y'all are free to hop in my inbox and call me a dumbass if you want.

Final thoughts because this review is already too goddamn long and I wanted to shitpost a bit more but I guess I can do that on other posts because I'm TIRED.

All in all, we really needed a good expo-debrief chapter to put everything in perspective because the Monster Association arc was a load of reveals with not a lot of resolutions. I think the ending was still very anticlimactic because, although we were introduced to a lot of shit like God and Blast and whatnot, none of that was really tied up in a satisfying way, nor left on an interesting cliffhanger. Just more and more questions. Even Garou's arc hasn't ended really, and all the development he and Saitama had gone through was forgotten (for NOW, because of Genos' core, but I digress) so it almost feels like... not much really happened at all. Nothing really ended, it was just a collection of more plot threads beginning.

I wish ONE waited a bit longer to really delve into God and Blast because I think the Monster Association arc could've been a lot more comprehensive and well-paced if it had just been (mostly) contained to what was happening between the heroes and monsters. But I can appreciate how comprehensive the plot is now after the fallout, just... the road to get here was rocky. I lost all the tires on my jeep.

I'm excited for Psychic Sisters.

In conclusion: if you were at the Whole Foods down the street and took a blue bike tied to the railing then you're a fucking bitch GIVE IT BACK!! THAT'S MY FUCKING BIKE!!

GIVE BACK MY FUCKING BIKE!!!!! YOU STOLE MY BIKE!!

p.s. -- I'm still waiting for the Zombiedad and Child Emperor Get Milkshakes Together omake. Murata, pls. Also give my bike back.

Thanks for reading. Please, I need my bike.

[berriesandjunnie]

joshua hong as a husband

joshua x afab!reader headcanon requested by anon i have so many fic requests i turned this one into a hc

okay this man is a love bug

we been knew that’s why he’s a gentleman

so he will treat you to things completely out of the blue

the amount of times he comes back from work holding some gift??

too many to count

pet names he’ll use: honey, darling and sometimes he’ll use baby and sweetheart 

so here he is opening the front door with a bouquet of assorted flowers that he chooses the colour of based on the season

“honey? i’m home!”

and of course he knows you’ll come rushing because you’ve missed him all day, especially during promotions when he goes away for periods of time

yet again he does these things completely out of the blue so you’re super thrown off every time he suddenly appears with a gift

you’ve complained before that you don’t deserve it but your husband is incredibly stubborn holy crap

he’s also spent too much time around jeonghan and he’d pull the guilt-tripping card if he has to

you’ve told cheol about this

he laughed

these random after work gifts could be ANYTHING

he’s brought home a custom bracelet once ???

chocolates, flowers, books that he knows you like the author of!! 

sometimes he picks up dinner on the way home too because he’s always complaining that you cook too much for him and don’t rest

okay so DATES

this man is fucking extravagant in the slightest of ways

you can bet you’re being booked into five star restaurants just so he can get you to dress pretty and show you off undercover

you tolerate wine for the free bottle usually but joshua will finish whatever you don’t drink

he usually does the expensive restaurant dates after busy promotions or tours that you didn’t go on - you usually miss out on the asia tours where they stick close to home 

but if they travel to america you’re usually with them 

he uses the expensive restaurant dates as an apology for not spoiling the fuck out of you for a long time

on the real you adore him doing these occasionally because holy fuck feeling fancy IS AMAZING? 

for regular dates he still ends up doing so much

this man will do day-dates so don’t expect to just go to something for a date and then it be over 

nah this man makes a whole ass itinerary for it from the time you wake up to the time you get home

he takes you to aquariums, coffee shops you didn’t even know existed, art galleries

he’s taken you wine tasting to try broaden your horizons from the weird taste of the wine the five star restaurants serve

and even after this, he’ll always double check how you’re feeling

not feeling well? tired but you slept all night? cramps? headaches?

no worries, day-date switched to at home date

he’ll mound the couch with all of your fluffy blankets for comfort, letting you choose which one you felt like using today since he knows you’re emotionally attached to them all

he’ll make breakfast, your favourite dish from whichever culture you’re from! or he’ll opt for just a korean dish if you don’t particularly have a favourite from your own

you’ll eat breakfast together maybe just watching some programme on tv to fill the time but once you’re done it gets competitive

joshua will turn on his playstation - like an utter kid - and the two of you will play monopoly

when you get tired of it he starts a movie marathon, or a drama that you really like or have on your watch list

maybe even anime

he’ll order takeaway for dinner and always ask what you’re craving

if you don’t know, he’ll give options but if you still don’t know he’ll surprise you

he knows all of your orders off by heart, he claims its his best aspect as your husband - you deny it

you’ll be eating and he’ll be casually watching until you ask what he’s looking at

“my wife”

one of his FAVOURITE PHRASES

he’ll say it all the fucking time

“that’s my wife” “this is my wife” “what’s my wife doing today”

even if hes on a tv show with seventeen or being interviewed he’ll manage somehow to bring you up

“oh yeah my wife has a job interview today”

if you struggle with mental illness or other things that affect your sleep, he’ll stay awake even if he’s drained and he’ll play guitar for you

you’ll jokingly ask him to do sunday morning but he’ll give you a death glare

he knows he overplayed that joke

when you’re ill he’ll actually take days off work even mid-promotion

he’s a very devoted man and he makes sure you are very aware

this man is an absolute angel of a husband and his unforgettable-ness gets bonus points for the fact you landed with a celebrity??

imagine how telling your family you’re dating an international idol went wowee

oh and he is also the best man to meet your family out of all of svt i said it here first folks

i think seungcheol would actually be second best to meet your family but that’s for another time

i’d also like to state that joshua is a walking reminder. whether it’s something embarrassing you did years ago or your meds! he’ll remind you

he likes to say you have a brain like a sieve 

all of the kisses

man is nervously into pda

like he’s scared of the paparazzi or fans being too much for you? so he’s very cautious even after all the years you’d been with him

you reassure him every time but most of the time he’ll still only hold your hand and kiss your head when he gets a chance

[aroaceconfessions]

https://aroaceconfessions.tumblr.com/post/686688214120054784/hey-im-writing-here-because-i-need-advice-and-i

Hi! I’m this anon 👆

First of all I want to thank everyone who answered my original post, you all really helped!

Secondly, I’m here for an update and ulterior advice (sorry if I’m annoying, but I literally have no one else that knows that I’m both aroace and going to therapy, so here we are).

TW: internalized aroacephobia, drinking, therapy.

So, after my previous post I’ve been to therapy a few times. Luckily, the topic of romantic/sexual relationships never came up again because I had more urgent matters to reflect on. And I hadn’t worried about it since literally my last post, but I went to my last session three days ago and once again I had to face this topic. 

For context: I had skipped two weeks of therapy because I’ve been really busy with planning a five months long stay in another country. I’m leaving soon. This week, luckily, everything is calmer so I went to my normally scheduled appointment and everything went well. We focused more on my anxiety because I actually had a few episodes and I wanted to work through them before moving away. 

Because of my imminent departure, however, my therapist took a few minutes at the end of my appointment to give me advice and a small recap of my journey/growth till now (which I REALLY appreciated, don’t get me wrong). However in this recap he also mentioned that he would have liked to talk about non-platonic relationships, but my aroace ass never gave him the opening for it. I found this observation pretty fair actually, seeing as a lot of my journey in therapy focused on relationships, how they define me and what role I tend to assume in them. However, he continued his speech saying something along the lines of: “I want you to take this period [the travel] as an opportunity to explore yourself and your boundaries.To let go. And, why not, to explore [non-platonic] relationships. So if you find a boy you like - or a girl - go for it.”

Basically, he told me slut it out lol

But now I find myself with doubts for my last appointment before leaving the country:

1) Do I actually open Pandora's box and come out to my therapist knowing that I won’t be able to go fully in depth of the issue in just one session? Doing this would allow me to get more “tailored” advice for my stay outside the country and actually work on my anxiety from another point of view (not the non-platonic relationships one he already suggested). But it’s still super scary considering I don’t have a lot of time to explain myself (altough he actually acknowledged the possibility of me being queer!!! “or a girl”). 

2) Second issue. In a fucked up why that I know I shouldn’t even be considering (for myself), what my therapist said makes sense. I feel like in a way he’s right and I should try exploring relationships, but I’m afraid I won’t ever be able to do it on my terms and that scares me because I already went through a “maybe I just need to get drunk enough to not feel repulsed” phase and luckily nothing bad actually happened. But now that I’m on the verge of moving continents and traveling alone I’m afraid I might resolve to that side of me again and go through grief and internalized ace/arophobia again and, man, I honestly feel like crying just at the thought of that. I wish there would be a safe and sure way to have these experiences but it’s either the unsafety of one-night-stands or the risk of losing a friendship because I decided to gamble on it in the hope I would develop romantic/sexual attraction.

I honestly feel so lonely and tired. It seems like this sexuality crisis will never end and like I might always be lying to myself. 

I was so hopeful after my last therapy session, but the more I think about it the more I want to scream.

Sorry for the long post, I hope you all have a nice day! 🧡💛🤍💙

[crystalelemental]

Today has been an absolute fucking shitshow.

I want to preface this with the knowledge that this cat is the first pet I've really had. My family had dogs, but it was...let's just say it was not a good situation, and we tended to get rid of the dogs before they were in a position to be put down. So a lot of this is new to me, I don't know what's normal, and every time we talked about the situation to people, we got the same response: "You're doing this right, it's better to go a day early than a day late."

To jump to the conclusion: babycat is still alive. The vet did come over, and talked about how all things considered, she still seemed in decent condition. Super lethargic and a little raspy, but apparently the fact she's still eating is sufficient to say she's doing okay. But he checked her lungs too, and apparently they're surprisingly clear? So like. Okay. Strongest diseased lungs. Far surpassing expectations on life expectancy. He said she would likely survive through New Years, into the week they'd be open again.

So okay, now the fuckery.

This was scheduled for 12-2. Somewhere in there, hard to say exactly when given schedules run late sometimes, but in that area. We get a call at 12:20, asking when we're bringing her in. ...no, you're coming to us. That was the entire reason for scheduling this, was that she's scared to go to the office and scared to go in her carry case by association. We're not doing that to her. After some apologies and an explanation that they don't usually do in-home for cats (but do for dogs, go fucking figure), in addition to my wife cancelling because I couldn't talk I was crying so hard, and them calling back to offer coming out after hours due to the mix-up, we were back on for this. Only for him to show up, look at her, and ask us what made us think this was the time. As if you didn't tell us we needed to schedule in advance for in-home.

So at this point, we're not doing in-home. This is the only local vet, but to be honest, this was a disaster. He doesn't even seem to remember that he scheduled this appointment for us personally with this condition in mind. And when we talked about options, and how the in-home could be scheduled again but if something happens before then, what do? My bottom line was, if we needed to, we could bring her in. All I would ask is that we be there with her.

And we could not get a straight answer. He didn't say no, but he sure didn't say yes. If anything it sounded like the expectation is drop off the pet and he'll do it between appointments. Which. No. I'm not bringing her, leaving her, alone and scared, until they decide they can sneak it in.

We were so clear about all of this. I cannot stress enough that we spent that entire appointment doing nothing but talking about needing to be there and therefore doing it at home. And it fell through spectacularly. Worse than I could've imagined. And now we're being told that, if we don't schedule in advance for the home visit, that we may not even be able to stay with her when they do have to put her down? No. No, we will travel the hour to an urgent care when it's time, and we will be staying with her. I'm so done with this. I'm so mad.

The good news is, cat remains. Her diseased baby lungs are still powerful, it seems. She's definitely on the decline, but we get more time, and we're not agonizing over whether it's too soon or whatever. We're going somewhere they'll let us stay with her. I don't know how long it will be. She declined quickly and this may come on quickly. But I am far, far too tired now to think about this. My baby is still alive, and as long as she is, we're going to take care of her. And when it's her time to go, we're going to be there with her, no matter how far we have to go to make it happen.

[daydreaming-in-daisies]

just me complaining/venting about my burnout under the cut feel free to read lol

it's become pretty obvious that i need some sort of significant change in my life. let me just first highlight all of the things that are bothering me at the moment:

1. my full time job consuming damn near all of my time during the week. it was especially busy this week, leaving me exhausted and not wanting to do other things. it's work from home, which is better than having to go to some depressing ass cubicle. but i literally can't leave my house for most of the day, it sucks. especially since it's summer and i want to go out and take walks, get groceries, eat out, etc. i get pretty bad seasonal depression during winter, so during summer there's a pretty noticeable difference in my mood. however, it's a bit different this year given all the stuff i'm doing right now. this is literally an entry level customer service job, why the fuck do i need to be doing this bullshit all day?

2. the fact that i haven't graduated college yet. i know it's now pretty common to take more than 4 years to graduate college (most of my friends took or are taking like 5-8 years), but it just all feels so tedious now. i feel i've been in school for too long and i also really dislike my major, so i just feel tired of it all. im really hoping i'll be able to graduate by the end of this year and that my mental health, having to take additional credits, etc wont get in the way of that.

3. i've started marketing for my business and even though i literally just started a few weeks ago, i feel shitty about the fact that the account isn't getting much engagement. apparently, the IG algorithm has changed recently and now favors accounts that are spending money on ads. i'm gonna test out some other methods, but i just hate the fact that i'm not getting the results i was expecting. i know i sound mad impatient lol. i just really want this to work because i genuinely don't know what else i want to do as a career for now. tbh, i dont even know if i care to have a "career" in this shitty capitalist system.

4. i'm kind of over living in the state that i do. the quality of life is here is great and i do like it when it's warm out. but the thing is, it's cold as shit most of the year and i've been here for over a decade at this point. i didn't even choose to live here either lol. i don't know for sure if i just need to travel more often after i graduate or if i just need to straight up leave, but i have a feeling im gonna have to move out sometime fairly soon (in the next few years, i mean). i want to live somewhere warm, i was looking at san diego, santa monica, and carmel-by-the-sea (all in CA). though it's pretty expensive over there. moving is also contingent on how much money i have, which is why i'm so stressed out about my business. the other alternative would just be to move into my own place and travel as often as i can.

5. i'm just now coming to terms with the fact that i spent all of my teenage years and early 20s in a cult and didn't even realize it until recently. i can't give much detail as to what kind of cult it was, otherwise my identity will be super obvious to anyone who might potentially know me reading this. i can say that i officially left in december 2021, but i essentially ignored the ways in which it traumatized me for months and i actually cried while talking about it to a therapist a few days ago. i try to move on from things that no longer serve me fairly quickly, so i just ignored it for months. but it was essentially a cult of toxic positivity mixed in with pseudoscientific bullshit, gaslighting, victim blaming, spiritual "hustle culture", and conspiracies (depending on who you talk to). its super popular now and you've probably heard of it, like i cant even go online without seeing something about it. it's not like i get severely triggered whenever i see it. i don't start crying or hyperventilating or anything like that, but i do flinch a little or make a face of annoyance or disgust, maybe even roll my eyes a bit. when people talk about it around me in person, i can't help but to get a little annoyed. if you go through my blog a little you might be able to figure out what it is. but it affected how i make friends, how i view people, how i view the world, and just about every other aspect of my life. now that its no longer a part of my life, i feel pretty hopeless without it. i genuinely thought i could do anything with my life when i was part of that cult, but now, i have certain anxieties that didnt exist before. whats funny is that the cult is pretty much the reason why i was depressed and anxious for so long. i don't feel as bad now that i've left, but i do still feel anxious and sad, but it's a different kind of anxiousness and sadness.

6. even though i've been trying to go out and make friends these past few months, i feel like i dont connect with the people i'm meeting. granted, this is just one group of girls and tbh our group chat has kind of died down. i'm trying to see if i can go to a different meetup tomorrow and hang out with some of the people there. we're just gonna go for a walk, which is much needed after feeling alone and isolated all this week. i really hope i can find some genuine, best girl friends who are similar to me. i do have good friends, but i dont see them very often. i'd like someone who i can see more consistently who i have things in common with. i've actually had a "best friend" before and would really love to have that.

7. i haven't been eating as much or as well as i should be since i tend to not eat a lot when im stressed and/or generally feeling shitty. i've also been breaking out a bit due to stress and period hormones from this past week. so yeah, i kinda look and feel like shit rn lmao.

8. capitalism and just the general state of the world and the US rn. honestly at this point im fucking tired of people doing things that aren't actually productive or helpful, like calling for random, unorganized strikes or having these lame ass protests. not trying to incite anything for legal reasons, but a whole revolution needs to happen and i don't think we're ready for that rn. it'll probably happen again, just not now. i know this issue is way bigger than me, but the cult i was in was always preaching about money being easy to get and how if you're poor it's your fault. since leaving, i've educated myself more on how fucked up capitalism is and how it really is the root of like 99% of the problems we face on earth. so yeah, fuck capitalism and fuck that cult i was in and anybody who subscribes to either of those ideas. thanks for coming to my ted talk ✨

[biankissme-jules]

The clouds expressed how I feel inside.

Hi love! It's the 17th day of May. I just got home and it's 8:47pm and of course the first thing I always wanted to do after a long tiring day is to talk to you so here I am writing you a letter you'd never read. I'll just pretend that I am talking to you hehe. Soooo here's what happened to my day! I woke up at 5:50am and told my self I will sleep for 10 more minutes and then the second time I opened my eyes it's already 7:00am HAHA so I made gayak na ng mabilis then I went to school to make asikaso my clearance. After that, I left school to travel na papuntang GMA to attend my caregiving class. Since I got there early and ate's class got dismissed earlier kasi nasa AM class siya, we decided to have lunch muna sa korean restaurant near our school. The food is so good and it's not really that pricey. The first thing that comes into my mind when I tasted the food is that "I wish I could bring bebu here." Yeah, coz you're always the one I am thinking off. We weren't able to finish the food kasi 1am na and magcclass na ko and super laki kasi nung serving niya hindi mo talaga mauubos and we only payed 380 for all the food. So ayun na nga, pumasok na ko sa room. I was late so I was like a spider creeping on the side wall of the room trying my best not to get caught that I am late but still nahuli pa din ako. Haha Our instructor gave us 1 and a half hour to review for the Oral Examination so he went our of the room. And guess what your bebu just did? ROFL LMAO I spent 30 minutes talking with my seatmates while reviewing then (as the antukin me) I spent the 1 hour left to fucking sleep coz I know the instructor is not in the room. HAHAHAHA I woke up coz I heard the Sir Alvin (the instructor) said "Oh wag kayong maingay, nagcoconcentrate sa pagrereview si Agatha!" I was like "DAMN IT!! I fell asleep in a class again!" Lol Then after that we were called na by 3 sa kabilang room for the Oral Exam tapos un pala kamustahan lang, the instructor decided to not give oral exam anymore kasi para makapag-adjust daw muna kami sa face to face classes. And then I sighed in relief. Hehe It's worth the 1 hour of tulog inside the class. We were dismissed early, I thought of chatting you sana to ask you out for a coffee date kasi nahihiya akong ichat ka kasi alam kong hindi mo ko papansinin. hehe I had a hard time pauwi kasi sobrang lakas ng ulan. Sumakay ako ng jeep going to Philcoa para dun sumakay ng bus. Basang basa ako sa jeep kasi sa harap ako sumakay. Kaya nung nakasakay na ko ng bus, I feel so freakin cold. And yes my temperature right now is mataas and I feel like i'm gonna catch a cold tonight and have a fever. How about you bebu? How's your day? How did you spend your day? I hope you had a great one. I wish you are doing okay. I hope you still remember me. :( Kasi ako, I still think about you the whole day. I miss you so much my bebu!! I love you so much!! :* I felt happy when I saw "MY SUPERMAN messaged you" notification kasi hehe you were asking about your password lang pala. Saddddd. I hope I can hug you right now, it feels so cold. Bebuuu time please. >.<