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the-boy-meets-evil · 1 year

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come sail away | ksj (18+)

pairing: seokjin x f. reader genre(s): enemies to lovers (one-sided) | smut, angst (light), fluff rating: explicit, minors DNI! word count: ~7.8k written for: catch of the century - thank you so so much for letting me participate! (and sorry my summary changed lol) summary: kim seokjin is the captain of a sailing team bound for one of the biggest regattas around. only one problem: that team also includes taehyung, who's incredibly accident prone. will he let you save the day despite your history? warnings: drinking, swearing, mentions of past hook-up, seokjin is kind of an idiot, taehyung is clumsy, slight mention of side vmin smut warnings: explicit smut, oral sex (f. receiving), fingering, vaginal penetration, slight mentions of breast play?, they're both in control, reader calls jin baby one (1) time, i think that's it a/n: this fic was kind of a beast and i wish i'd gotten it posted by our beloved jin's birthday but what can you do? thank yous: @ugh-yoongi, @hot-soop, and @effortandmore for being wonderful friends and also keeping me sane/suffering with me (sorry jewel, i copied you)

Everything in the world has finally aligned. The stars and the universe and maybe one or two things closer to Earth. It’s not worth stopping to think about it too closely. Only one thing matters. Kim Seokjin has qualified for one of the biggest regattas in the world.

Well, his team has. But, he’s their captain, and the face of the team, if you will, so he’s taking this as his win. And when you stop to think about it, he’s hand-picked every person that he sails with, spent hours making sure that not only does he have the best people, but that they also work well together. He’s watched teams fold over a stupid argument and he’s determined not to fall victim to that.

No, this team is perfect and he’s not letting anything stand in the way. They’ve had their ups and downs in the past, plenty of almosts. Not this time. This is their year and he can almost taste it. This is the year that other teams start taking his seriously and stop calling them almost.

Especially your team. Seokjin pictures your face when he finally beats you in a major regatta and it’s probably the best thing he’s seen, might even be better than sex. It’s been at least 10 years of you somehow managing to beat him when it really matters, sometimes in the final few minutes, and he’s had enough.

The news calls for a celebration, at the very least. Actually, Seokjin would rather be planning and looking into conditions, making sure that they tackle this as best they can. Taehyung and Jungkook wanted to celebrate and Yoongi, the eternal sunshine that he is, didn’t care what they did. Since neither Jin nor Yoongi could ever dissuade Taehyung from anything, they were sitting at their favorite bar.

Seokjin looks over at the door and sees the last person he’s expecting walk in. You. Sure, he’s riding a high from the news of making the cut and he’s several drinks in, but he still thinks that you could ruin the night. And you seem like you’re looking for someone, not like you just wandered in by accident, which sets his nerves on edge. Who are you looking for? As your eyes land on his table, he looks away immediately. No, you’re not raining on his parade.

“Who invited her?” Jin asks in a low, biting whisper.

It’s Hoseok who speaks up after looking toward the door. “Oh! I did!”

His voice is full of cheer, smile not even fading when Seokjin casts Hoseok his most venomous look. Maybe he’s not doing it right or maybe he’s just not as scary as he likes to imagine he is. Or Maybe Hoseok, who’s known Seokjin for nearly 20 years, isn’t bothered.

In another second, you’re at the table hugging Hoseok and smiling around at everyone else. Like you’re supposed to be there. Like this isn’t weird. Like you hang out with them all the time. Like you don’t hate him and wish nothing but bad fortune on him at every turn. Okay, maybe the last one is dramatic but you’re rivals for a reason.

“Congrats! Hobi told me you’d been selected,” you say and sit down close to Hoseok.

Seokjin almost can’t believe his ears. What kind of tactic is this? You can’t just be happy for them, that doesn’t line up with everything that he knows about you. Which, admittedly, isn’t all that much. He’s been around you plenty, sure, just never listened all that closely.

“Thanks,” Jungkook says easily.

“Looks like we’ll be going up against each other again,” Seokjin says with all the pride he’s felt the whole time.

“What?” Your eyebrows are knotted in confusion when he makes eye contact with you. It annoys Seokjin because what right do you have to be looking at him that way? Is this a game to you?

“In the Regatta?” Seokjin says, biting back the tone of annoyance as best he can.

“Oh, hadn’t you heard? I didn’t enter a team this year,” you say, your tone casual. You’re not even really focused, more worried about stealing some of Hoseok’s drink and then pulling up your face when it’s too sweet. Seokjin is searching for something deeper. Are you just testing him? Is this some kind of pity since you’ve beaten him so many times?

The only question that comes out of his mouth is, “why?”

“Well Eunji is pregnant so she can’t really train right now and Chan fell in love and said he wants to focus on that for now,” you say with a shrug. “I didn’t really have time to replace them with anyone I trusted, which is fine, there’s always next year.”

And there was always next year for you. It was like you made the cut every year, sometimes without even seeming like you were trying. It was infuriating to see you so casual about missing it this year. Seokjin’s sure he checked the teams competing, but maybe he hadn’t looked that closely. All he can do now is fight to make sure it doesn’t seem like he’s bothered by your lack of participation.

With Seokjin so deep in his thoughts, he misses a lot of the next bits of the conversation. He doesn’t see you watch him for a moment before turning back to Hoseok. He doesn’t see Taehyung get up to seek out the pretty stranger he’s been watching across the bar. He doesn’t even see Yoongi order them another round until there’s a fresh drink in front of him, which he downs too fast.

This night isn’t going anything like he expects. Well, except for Taehyung. His friend is nowhere to be found and there’s a text in the group chat not to worry about him. They aren’t scheduled to practice tomorrow so it’s not unlike him to run off with a pretty face. Seokjin spares a passing thought that it’ll be nice if this one lasts a little longer because Taehyung deserves that. Jungkook is trying to convince Yoongi to sing karaoke with him, which is never going to happen. Well, unless Yoongi wants to impress someone by busting out a rap. Doesn’t seem likely tonight. What Seokjin really needs is another drink.

“You seem particularly upset about me missing the Regatta,” a smooth voice says from beside Seokjin along the bar. He knows it’s you without turning and turns anyway, taking in your eyes alight with something he can’t place.

“It just seems like a shame, I feel bad you’re down 2 team members is all,” Seokjin says, hoping it comes out even.

“Mhm,” you hum, quiet enough that he might miss it if he weren’t still watching you.

Stupid of him, he thinks. There’s no reason to be watching you. At least not that closely.

“I don’t know what else you expect me to say,” Seokjin says and turns away towards the bar again.

“What’s got your panties in a twist?” You ask, a little challenging, a little annoying, completely on brand for you.

“Nothing,” Seokjin says, trying and failing to unclench his jaw before the answer pushes out.

“Are you…mad I’m not competing?” You’re getting far too much delight out of this.

“You know it’s not the same if…” Seokjin starts and then clenches his jaw again, not wanting to give you the satisfaction.

“This whole competition thing is getting old,” you say with a sigh and Seokjin looks over again to see you really don’t seem engaged anymore.

“Not when we’re always competing,” Seokjin says and you shake your head.

“I win some, you win some, then it’s over and we have lives outside of the competition,” you say and Seokjin scoffs.

“Easy to say when you’re usually the one winning, at least the ones that matter,” Seokjin says and you move closer.

“I thought we’d worked on this, you know, when we…” you say.

“No, we’re not talking about that,” Seokjin says quickly, scanning to see if anyone else is listening.

Okay, so here’s the thing. The Big Secret that Seokjin doesn’t want anyone to know because it would ruin the image he’s carefully built up. Every chance he gets, he talks about not liking you, about thinking you’re evil and the enemy. And there’s no fraternizing with the enemy, that’s been rule number 1 as long as Seokjin has been captain. It’s inevitable that teams run into each other. There are only so many good areas to train and only so many places to spend your free time. That’s all fine. Anything beyond that breaks the rules.

Seokjin is a fucking hypocrite too, apparently, because he broke the rule in a pretty major way. It was late one night and the bar was emptying. Admittedly, he was feeling a little down because he’d just gone through a breakup and the one person he tried talking to at the bar was a resounding failure, not something Seokjin ever really experienced. He wasn’t drunk, just pleasantly buzzed, taking the edge off of what felt like two separate rejections. That was where you came in. Initially, it was any other time where you both jabbed back and forth before you realized that Seokjin really wasn’t in the mood. Then you listened.

You were actually a really good listener, Seokjin discovered. You were sympathetic, not judgmental at all, and you had good insight. You were patient too, as he rambled on repeating the same bits of the story because he was kind of angry about the whole thing. Nobody liked feeling rejected, but Seokjin took it especially personally. He invited you back to his apartment for another drink before even realizing what he was doing and you agreed just as quickly.

Fuck, Seokjin was only human and even though he was one of the most stubborn people in the world, he wasn’t blind. You looked good that night, full lips painted red, big eyes looking up seductively under your thick lashes, leaning just a little too close into his space so he was sure to notice how good you smelled. He can’t remember who closed the gap first. It really might have been him. But he couldn’t bring himself to care when you felt that good.

He’d told you then that it couldn’t happen again and you definitely couldn’t talk about it. There was no way the rest of his team could not what happened. Not only would they never let him hear the end of it, it’d be harder to enforce any team rules too. Sometimes it seemed like you just wanted to bring it up to see his reaction. Or cause some sort of trouble if someone overheard you.

This time you just raise your eyebrows and work to control a smirk. “You’re no fun.”

Seokjin is torn about responding to this because on the one hand, he is really fun and he wants to say that. But that definitely leaves a door open that he’s not interested. Maybe. He’s probably better off ordering another drink.

The drink might actually be a bad idea because now he’s feeling bolder. Everyone in his group is otherwise engaged when he finds himself sitting next to you. He leans in without thinking, continuing the earlier conversation. “I think we both know that I’m very fun.”

He doesn’t have time to think about if it’s a good idea or not (it’s not) before you slowly turn your head to look at him, smirk back in place. Fuck. Instead of catching you off guard, he’s played right into your hand. You briefly suck your lower lip between your teeth, thinking.

Before he can react, you’re leaning into him, lips close to his ear under the guise of it being loud in there (it is, but not that loud). The warm breath sends a shiver through him that he barely manages to contain.

“I think I’ve forgotten how much fun you can be, can you remind me?”

The question is loaded. And it’s a terrible idea. Monumentally awful. Yet, Seokjin can’t even fight the heat that raises up the back of his neck at your words. He doesn’t trust himself to speak even once you’ve pulled back to study him from a much more respectable distance. All he can do is nod.

The next moment, the spell seems slightly broken when you stand up and smile casually at nobody in particular. You announce you’re leaving, give out a few hugs, and leave without a backwards glance at Seokjin. He’s starting to think that he must have imagined the whole exchange. Or maybe it was real but you’re just toying with him. It’s stupid to think that anything is going to happen.

Then he gets a text message with an address and apartment code, telling you to wait at least ten or fifteen minutes before excusing yourself. That is, if you’re still up for the challenge.

It shouldn’t get his heart racing the way it does. Shouldn’t tempt him the way it does. One time can be a mistake, just a casual slip in judgment and nothing more. A second time gets a little more complicated. That’s not a mistake.

But Seokjin is just on the other side of buzzed and doesn’t really feel like making the right decision, whatever that is. He wants to feel good and he knows you can definitely do that. So he makes his exit as well, saying how he needs to make sure he still gets his beauty sleep and that he’s got things to do tomorrow. Nobody spares it a second thought and he’s on his way to your apartment. Again.

He shows up at your door and you pull him inside without saying anything. It’s unusual for him to feel this out of his element, this unsure. You don’t seem to mind making up for it, pulling him straight back into your bedroom and lightly pushing him onto the bed. The next moment, you’re straddled over his lap, unbuttoning his shirt as you slowly kiss up his neck. He runs his hands up your thighs, squeezing when you nip at his neck.

It’s too much and not enough, all at the same time. Seokjin moves one hand behind your neck to direct your lips to his, an urgency behind it. You kiss him hard and take advantage of his little gasp to slide your tongue into his mouth, deepening the kiss. In the midst of the kiss, you finish unbuttoning his shirt, sliding it off his body.

You break the kiss and lean back to appreciate his body and the smooth lines of muscle that tense under your fingers as they skim across his skin. You’re entirely in control and Seokjin can’t help but be turned on by it. It’s not that he minds giving up control, exactly, because he doesn’t. It’s just so much more to give up control to someone he’s not sure he even likes when you’re both fully clothed. His attention is back on you as you remove your shirt and unhook your bra, discarding both to the floor.

You guide Seokjin’s plush lips to one of your breasts and he immediately flicks his tongue out against your nipple, earning a shudder in response. He takes his time with each breast before kissing up your chest to your neck. The kisses get messier, more frantic, more filled with need. Seokjin craves the skin to skin contact of your chests as he pulls you flush against him. With his hands still firmly gripping your hips, he feels when you start to slightly rolls against him. The material keeping the two of you apart isn’t nearly enough friction, but your movements have him getting hard.

It’s not enough though. You’re stunning and Seokjin loves to hear the little moans that he pulls out of you. But he needs more. He puts his hands under your thighs and flips you around so your back is on the bed, head on a pillow. It takes you a second to realize what he’s doing and then you’re undoing your jeans, pulling them and your underwear down in one movement. The second they’re added to the pile of already discarded clothes, your hand is on the back of Seokjin’s neck, guiding him back to you. He only lets you nip at his lip once before he’s pulling away again. It’s pure pleasure to see you pout before he begins trailing kisses down your body.

Once he reaches your inner thighs, you’re impatient again, trying to push his head where you need it most. But as fun as it is to see you needy, it’s even better to push you toward the edge. His tongue slowly reaches out, running lazily up your slit. And fuck, you’re wet. But he continues teasing, just slowly moving his tongue and ignoring your attempts to get him to move faster. Teasing you like this might be his new favorite thing.

The sounds you make as Seokjin finally licks into your cunt have him already hardening. They’re slow, purposeful movements, just enough to drive you even crazier. Your fingers grip tighter in his hair and your back arches when runs his tongue over your clit, sucking it into his mouth.

“Fuck Seokjin, are you trying to kill me?”

He’s not, not really, he just really enjoys you squirming as he works you up. Enjoys taking his time with you, starting at a painfull slow pace. A thought that he’s not going to give too much attention.

“Please, please, please, I need more,” you beg.

Well, it’d be cruel to deny you that. He slowly inserts a finger while still focusing his mouth on your clit. Your hips buck against his hand and he knows it’s not enough, that it’s too slow, that you want him to go faster, but he keeps the movements slow. His finger slides in and out easily. Your want is so plain. He slides another finger in and you clench around him.

Fuck. He’s definitely straining against his pants now.

He doesn’t want to draw it out anymore, just wants to feel your release. He inserts another finger and curls them immediately. The moan that comes out at that is halfway to a scream and he knows he’s hitting where you need him. And he knows you’re close, just a little bit farther. He’s pumping his fingers in and out of you fast now, encouraged by your moans and the string of swears dripping from your lips, everything a half finished thought. He’s still working over your clit, alternating between a flick of the tongue and sucking it into his mouth.

Your other hand grips into his hair and your whole body starts to shake as you release. All he wants is to watch you unravel knowing that it’s thanks to him, but he continues pumping his fingers, guiding you though it.

As soon as you come back down, you pull his face up to yours. Your lips are on his before he can think about anything else, both breathing heavy and not caring if the kiss is a little sloppy. Your hands leave his to quickly undo his pants and slide them down along with his boxers. Seokjin breaks the kiss to remove them the rest of the way.

He can’t help the whine that escapes his lips when your finger slides over his tip, spreading the precum over the rest of his cock. And he’s thinking about those lips of yours wrapped around his cock again. Just like last time. Fuck, you’ve got such a pretty mouth. His cock twitches a little thinking about it. Or maybe it’s the way you start to work him over.

But no, he wants you and he wants you now.

“Do you have a condom?” Seokjin asks and you raise an eyebrow, hand stilling.

You nod at the drawer. “In there.”

Seokjin pulls one out, unwrapping it and sliding it on as quick as he can.

“Someone is eager,” you say and he wants to protest.

And he would’ve, if you hadn’t pushed him back onto the bed. Any retort dying on his lips as he watches you straddle him, hands using his chest for stability. You don’t bother to ask if it’s okay as you line yourself up, his face must’ve told you all you needed to know. You slowly lowered yourself onto him and he gripped your hips hard, not even caring if he left a mark. Maybe he wanted to leave a mark, make sure you remember this night.

But fuck. He’d forgotten how good it felt to be inside you. Once you adjusted, you find your pace, slowly moving up and down. You’re rolling your body so smoothly as you allow him to come almost all the way out of you before sinking back onto his cock. Seokjin thinks how hot it is to look up at you while you fuck him. It’s dangerous too, having you on top of him like this, completely in control. It lets his mind wander, just slightly, to think of how he might actually like to do this much more. Might like to take his time with you. Spend the night.

No.

Pretending it’s just too slow, Seokjin flips the two of you so he’s hovering over you instead, caging you in with his much larger frame. You run your nails appreciatively over his broad shoulders and he shivers. He needs the pace to be faster, needs to get out of his own head. You either don’t mind or don’t notice the slight daze before Seokjin picks up the pace.

It’s so fast, bodies slamming together and sweat starting to bead. You’re so tight around him that it’s like he can feel every movement and it only adds to the feeling. Even as your head tips back, Seokjin can’t stop looking at you. Memorizing the sight of you beneath him. Your hands slide down his sides and over his back to grip his ass and he groans again. He can tell your close by the way you’re meeting his thrusts, finding a perfect rhythm again and chasing another release.

You cum again, hard. Your nails are digging into him as the orgasm works through you and he has the fleeting thought hoping it’ll actually leave marks. Another thrust and he can feel himself at the edge.

“Come on, baby, cum for me,” you say, voice completely fucked.

“Fuck me,” Seokjin utters because that was hot. And he liked it too much. He doesn’t remember you calling him baby the last time he fucked you.

He thrusts several more times and then stills inside you, breathing heavy from the pace. His arms feel shaky where they still hold him suspended over you.

“It’s okay Jin, you’re not gonna crush me,” you say, soft and almost sweet, gently running your fingers up his arms to his shoulders.

He tries to scoff but instead, he just listens and lowers himself down onto your body. You’re both tacky with sweat and neither of you seems to care. It’s easy, far easier than it should be, to just lay there in bed with you. But that’s a problem for Tomorrow Seokjin. Tonight, Seokjin is just going to enjoy being in this moment as long as he can.

The last place that Seokjin wanted to go that night was a club that couldn’t decide if it wanted to be a strip club judging by the poles at the edges of the dance floor. Not because he objected, he absolutely did not. It was just that he knew Taehyung’s new obsession was a dancer. Which meant that Jimin would probably dance on the pole. And that was fine, really, because he had mentioned classes. He knew what he was doing. Who couldn’t appreciate someone that moved with that much grace? Taehyung, on the other hand, did not know what he was doing.

Sadly, Seokjin’s objections fell on deaf ears and Taehyung tried to imitate the relatively intricate moves, including hanging upside down. Which resulted in him falling and having to be rushed to the hospital.

He’s fine, thankfully. But now Seokjin is waiting in an emergency room and, not surprisingly, he wants to be here even less than he wanted to be at the stupid club. Honestly, when was Taehyung going to learn to listen to his hyung?

Not today, that was clear.

“Your friend is going to be okay. He’s lucky and he didn’t actually break his neck,” the nurse says. She has overwhelming overworked and underpaid energy that Seokjin might feel bad about in any other situation.

“Good, so I can kill him still,” Seokjin quickly replies.

She leveled him with an unimpressed look. “I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that.”

“How long until he can leave?” Jimin asks. He tagged along despite Seokjin insisting they could handle it and has been weepy ever since the fall. He feels responsible despite everyone assuring him that it’s just what Taehyung does.

“We’re letting him go tonight but he absolutely cannot participate in whatever this sailing thing he’s been babbling about is,” she says and Seokjin thinks he must’ve misheard.

“It’s not a thing…” he starts before Yoongi cuts him off.

“We understand, thank you,” Yoongi says.

“Yoongi, you can’t be…” Seokjin starts.

“Leave it, Jin,” Yoongi says and the nurse raises an eyebrow like she’s actually entertained.

“I’ll let you know when he’s ready to go,” is all she says, though, before disappearing back through the doors.

“What am I supposed to do?” Seokjin asks nobody in particular.

“Absolutely expect Taehyung to get on a boat after he fell on his head,” Jimin snips.

Seokjin is not in the mood. “Maybe you shouldn’t have done some super complicated move.”

“How was I supposed to know that he’d try to copy? I was trying to impress him,” Jimin whines and Seokjin just rolls his eyes. Anyone that’s known Taehyung for more than a second knows that he can’t ever leave something like that alone.

“You know what you’re going to have to do,” Yoongi says and Seokjin just looks at him.

“What?” Seokjin asks.

“Hyung, we need a fourth person for the team,” Jungkook says, eyes even wider than usual. He’s hardly spoken since getting to the hospital.

“Yeah, and where the fuck am I supposed to find someone this close to the regatta?” Seokjin asks, running a hand through his hair and for once, not caring if it gets messed up.

“You’re kidding, right?” Yoongi asks, sharing a look with Jungkook that Seokjin isn’t entirely sure he likes.

“No?” Seokjin asks.

“Hyung,” Jungkook says. “You know there’s someone that could fill in. She’s got all the experience, and…”

Jungkook trails off but Seokjin catches the meaning. And now he knows that he doesn’t like that look. There is no way, no fucking way.

“No, absolutely not,” Seokjin says.

“Right, well I guess we’ll just have to forfeit unless Jimin here wants to try sailing out for the first time,” Yoongi says and turns kindly to Jimin. “No offense.”

“None taken,” Jimin says with a shrug.

“We could ask Namjoon, he was out with us a couple summers,” Seokjin offers.

“Yeah and he slipped every time he was on the boat,” Yoongi scoffs.

“Hobi, then,” Seokjin says.

“He’s booked solid with work stuff and he hates being on the boat,” Jungkook says.

“You have to call her and at least ask,” Yoongi says.

Seokjin’s stomach sinks knowing that you’re honestly the only option he has, at least if he wants a chance to actually win this thing. And he does. He’s been able to taste in since seeing they made the cut. He just doesn’t want to be trapped in close quarters with you training and then racing.

“She hates us,” Seokjin says.

“No, you think you hate her for some reason,” Yoongi says and shakes his head. “I actually think she likes us fine.”

“Yeah she’s always nice when I run into her,” Jungkook agrees.

“How often do you run into her?” Seokjin’s question is sharp and Jungkook’s eyes go wide again.

“You know what? Let’s just vote,” Yoongi says, ignoring their captain. “Who thinks we should call her and ask?”

Jungkook’s hand immediately shoots up, followed by Yoongi’s and, to Seokjin’s surprise, Jimin’s.

“You don’t get a vote,” Seokjin says and Jimin scoffs.

“Rude, I’m voting for Tae,” Jimin says.

“It’s settled, I’ll call her if you won’t,” Yoongi says.

Seokjin tries to protest that this isn’t a democracy (it is), that there are other options (there aren’t), and that he’s not a coward (he is). But, Yoongi is right. If they want to win, you’re the only option. So Seokjin does the sensible thing and agrees to call you. (By that, he means he agrees Yoongi can call. Apparently, you say yes immediately and seem excited to get to race after all, given you lost half your team).

The next couple of weeks fly by faster than they should. Seokjin spends most of the time that he’s not training either ignoring Yoongi’s looks of superiority over how well you’re working out or ignoring your attempts to have a private conversation with him. Jungkook, who was nervous at first, seems to be getting far more entertainment out of it than anyone should.

Yoongi is actually harder to ignore because you have been a great addition to the team, fitting in like you had always been there. It’s hard to ignore your talent or why you captain your own team. Yet, you seem more than willing to let someone else in charge. Which makes Seokjin nervous when he considers it. Makes him wonder what sort of game you’re playing because everything with you is a game. When Seokjin tells Yoongi about his concerns, Yoongi just suggests, not for the first time, that Seokjin might need help.

Jungkook is possibly even worse. From the first training session, he’s making conversation with you, asking personal questions, asking for tips. All this despite the fact that Seokjin has been training with Jungkook since the younger man was still a teenager. So much for loyalty.

To this, Yoongi suggests that Seokjin really needs to work on his jealousy. It’s the most ridiculous suggestion of all and Seokjin wishes that he had some other friends.

(Which, he does, but Namjoon is no help and Hoseok suggests there might be something else going on. Useless. Seokjin does not need them acting like they know what’s going on in his head when he doesn’t even know.)

After a particularly tough training session, Seokjin is considering that this may be the most cohesive team he’s entered in a race since he began sailing. It’s a weird thought and it feels a little like a betrayal to Taehyung to think it. But there’s also the voice in the back of his head that reminds him the most cohesive team could mean a win. Wouldn’t Taehyung be happy about that?

“We’ve really gotta talk,” you say and Seokjin curses himself for not checking his surroundings. He’d been so busy cleaning up that he hadn’t realized Yoongi and Jungkook had disappeared. Traitors.

He tries not to jump at the surprise, but he’s only got so much energy. “We talk all the time.”

“Seokjin, please,” you say. Plead, really.

And that’s…new. Seokjin has heard you say a lot of things in a lot of situations. He’s never heard you sound so raw. So defeated.

“I just don’t see what we have to talk about outside of training and the regatta,” Seokjin says, avoiding your gaze.

“How about the fact that you hate me? Can we talk about that? Because I really don’t get it.”

Now Seokjin does look at you because surely you’re messing with him. You must be. The rivalry has been fine and it’s been mutual all this time. Why change a good thing now? “You hate me too, I’m not really sure what’s so confusing about a rivalry,” Seokjin answers evenly.

“Hate you? What?” You look incredulous.

“Yeah, it’s been pretty obvious,” Seokjin offers.

“To who?” You’re looking at him like he’s stupid and for the first time in his life, he wonders if maybe you’re right.

“Uhhhh…” Seokjin is usually so eloquent. What the fuck just came out of his mouth?

“Seokjin, you’re a fucking idiot,” you say and it’s confusing because you’re laughing. “Let’s forget the fact that we’ve literally slept together. Twice. I get how that could be confusing for this rivalry narrative in your head. I also agreed to help your team when Taehyung got hurt. Who does that for someone they hate? I mean, unless we’re talking some long game, sabotage shit.”

“Is that what we’re talking about?” Seokjin asks.

“We might be now,” you say, no longer laughing.

“So you don’t hate me?” Seokjin ventures uncertainly.

“I didn’t, now I’m not ruling it out,” you say and gather your things quickly. “I’ll see you tomorrow, captain.”

And okay, that actually hurts Seokjin a little, to hear you use his title on the team instead of his name. He hadn’t realized how much he liked the way his name sounds in your mouth until you stop saying it. He’s also searching his brain trying to figure out exactly what just happened.

He doesn’t like what he finds. All of the conversations from the last few weeks feel different now. As if someone shattered a piece of glass and now everything has changed. Instead of you and him bickering, he sees that maybe you were being endlessly patient as he stuck his foot in his mouth over and over. Instead of you challenging his leadership, he sees that maybe you were just trying to share your own experience in both training and competing. Instead of distaste, maybe you were just tired of the way things were.

Seokjin doesn’t often feel a step behind on anything, prides himself on that, actually. Now he’s several steps behind and he doesn’t know what to do to catch up. He faces the realization that he needs to have an actual conversation with you.

Which ends up being impossible.

You’re the first one gone once training ends. Seokjin hadn’t even realized that you were always staying after Yoongi and Jungkook left, making sure that everything was where it belongs, until you weren’t. It had been such an easy silence to work in, in hindsight, and Seokjin had taken it for some kind of obligation. Like you owed him for giving you the chance to sail on the team. Or some sort of petty thing to show that you were better than him. Maybe you are. Not just at sailing, but also at dealing with people and emotions.

Suddenly it’s the night before the Regatta kicks off and Seokjin has already done all the things he usually does to prepare. Everyone is checked into separate hotel rooms so they can carry out whatever routine they need to in peace. Taehyung and Jimin also got a room to share because Seokjin is a sucker and didn’t want to listen to Taehyung whine anymore about missing things. He’s checked the weather for the weekend (it’s going to be perfect, exactly what he wants to race in). The team is ready, Seokjin knows they’re ready. He’s never been this confident in a team.

So why is he so unsettled?

He knows the answer, really. Has known it for a while if he’s honest with himself. But what he doesn’t know is how to fix it. Surely talking to you about the last real conversation you had the night before a set of huge races is a mistake. Surely he should be getting into bed, putting on something light, and just focusing on the race.

It’s not that easy.

The first race is definitely not Seokjin’s best. As in, he’s lucky that the rest of his team is so good at their jobs and able to pick up his slack. You still manage a win in the first round, but it’s not nearly as smooth as it should have been. This was one of the easier match-ups.

Jungkook is confused, asking if Seokjin is okay, if he got enough sleep, if there’s anything he needs. Yoongi waves Jungkook off, saying he’s sure Seokjin is fine and it was just an off-race. There’s a glare in Seokjin’s direction when Yoongi assures Jungkook their captain will be better for the next race. You, however, remain silent, not bothering to look at Seokjin.

The next race, which is against a tougher team, doesn’t go any better. Everything feels off and Seokjin just can’t focus on making sure he’s doing what he’s supposed to be. More than once, Yoongi or Jungkook just get there in time to push him out of their way before making an adjustment to the sails or their course. And sure, technically three people can run the boat, but it wasn’t built that way at this level.

After losing the second race, Yoongi tells you and Jungkook that him and Seokjin are going to have a conversation. You can grab something to eat and they’ll meet you under the tent as soon as they’re done.

“Seokjin, what the fuck?” Yoongi asks as soon as the other two are out of earshot.

“I know, I know. I’m just a little…off?” Seokjin can’t even find the right words.

“Well no shit, man, but you’d better figure your shit out before the next race or I’m going to file for a substitution,” Yoongi says and Seokjin scoffs.

“And just who are you going to replace me with?” Seokjin challenges. He’s almost thankful for Yoongi now. He can do this. He can fight with his oldest friend about sailing.

“I don’t know, maybe someone that’s not so fucking stupid that he lets feelings get in the way of sailing,” Yoongi hisses.

“What? What are you talking about?” Seokjin is sputtering again. Great.

“Come on, Jin,” Yoongi says, going uncharacteristically soft for a second. “I know you have feelings for her. I know you must’ve had some stupid argument, probably about this made-up rivalry.”

“I didn’t think it was made up,” Seokjin says quietly.

“Then why did you fuck her?” Yoongi asks and then shakes his head. “Actually, I really don’t want to know.”

Seokjin is choking on air, eyes comically wide. “You knew?”

“You’re not nearly as sneaky as you think,” Yoongi says with a sympathetic smile.

“But it’s against the rules,” Seokjin says and Yoongi laughs. It’s not unkind, but it’s definitely like he knows something Seokjin doesn’t.

“Sure it is,” Yoongi agrees, placating Seokjin. “Just like it was against the rules when I was fucking Nayeon or Jungkook was fucking Dahyun.”

“What??” Seokjin’s question comes out choked and Yoongi claps him on the back.

“Point is, you can talk to her tonight if you need to. But for now, get your shit together,” Yoongi says, all business again. “You owe it to us.”

And that, more than anything, clears Seokjin’s head. It’s true. He does owe all of them to be present and actually help the team instead of getting in the way. The two of them join you and Jungkook a few minutes later with an entirely different energy. Seokjin is locked in.

So locked in that they end up winning the next 3 races of the round-robin day. Including one where they were definitely down as the underdogs. It makes up for both the race they barely won and the one that they lost.

Dinner is a lighthearted affair. Everyone is happy, including Taehyung and Jimin who join in. Taehyung has nothing but praise for the team, not seeming the least bit upset that he can’t be competing himself. As long as he’s included and the team is doing well, he’s happy.

The only exception is you. You’re smiling when you feel someone’s eyes on you and answering any question directed at you, but you’re much quieter than usual. Seokjin doesn’t pause to consider that he knows what’s normal for you. Admittedly, he’s never been around you like this during a competition, but it’s not how you’ve been outside of training every other time he’s seen you. Usually, you’re the center of attention, cracking jokes and poking fun. Tonight, you’re much quieter, watching instead of actively participating.

Seokjin isn’t really sure what the best thing to do here is. On the one hand, the second half of the day went off as perfectly as it could. It was smooth sailing, pun intended because Seokjin did love a pun. Yet, on the other hand, there’s still a bit of a pit in his stomach. He still feels something off between you and him.

Maybe it isn’t the right thing to do. Maybe it’s going to hurt more than help. Maybe he should leave you alone. He can’t, though. And after dinner, he takes a couple of steadying breaths and goes to knock on your door.

“Jin?” You crack the door just a bit, not fully wanting to let him in.

“I know we’re all supposed to be in for the night, but I wanted to talk to you,” Seokjin says, slightly awkward. It’s more honest than he’s been.

It’s the first time he’s seen you look unsure about almost anything. After a moment, you open the door a little wider and step aside, allowing him into your space. Once he’s inside, you move back to sit on the edge of the bed, still looking unsure and a little vulnerable. You’ve got your hair tied up on top of your head and are wearing a baggy t-shirt with shorts, obviously ready for bed.

“What do you want?” The question doesn’t sound aggressive, just exhausted.

“To apologize,” Seokjin says simply.

“For how you sailed this morning? You’ve already apologized for that,” you say.

“No, for that argument we had a few weeks ago,” Seokjin rushes out before he loses his nerve.

Whatever you were expecting, it’s not that. Your body language changes, just slightly. “Really?”

“I’m just…I’m sorry,” Seokjin says. “I don’t know why I’d built this whole rivalry up in my head. Probably just because you give me a hard time all the time or me being too competitive. And then I felt guilty I guess? About us sleeping together, I mean. Because we’ve got this rule on the team…”

You get up from the edge of the bed and come to sit on the arm of the chair next to Seokjin, placing a hand on his arm. “You’re rambling a bit.”

“I know,” he exhales.

“I’m not going to lie and say it’s all magically fine or that it didn’t hurt a bit,” you say.

“I don’t expect you to,” Seokjin says and he means it. “Why did you stay?”

“On the team?” You wait for Seokjin’s answer and continue once he nods. “Because I couldn’t just leave you hanging.”

“I would’ve deserved it,” Seokjin nearly whispers.

“You would’ve,” you agree. “But Yoongi and Jungkook didn’t. So I stayed.”

“I know they’re thankful for that,” Seokjin says.

“And are you thankful?” Your eyes study his, looking for answers to more than just your last question.

“Of course I am,” Seokjin says.

“Because you still got to compete?” You’re pressing and he’s actually thankful.

“Well, no, because I like having you around,” Seokjin says and you open your mouth, but he carries on. “And no, not because of thinking we’re rivals. That was so stupid. I just like being around you. I like…too many things about you to list.”

“You could try,” you say and he looks up to see that sparkle in your eyes again, the one that’s only ever meant trouble.

“I will do whatever you want me to,” Seokjin admits and watches the surprise on your face.

“A dangerous offer,” you observe.

Seokjin shrugs. “I’ll take my chances.”

“I don’t forgive you yet, just to be clear,” you say and Seokjin smiles.

“I didn’t expect you to,” he says.

Seokjin takes a chance, opening his arms to you slightly. And you want to ignore him, he knows you do, but he’s looking like the perfect cross between pitiful and hopeful. So you give in, slide down into his arms and settle into him. It’s nice, he thinks, because all he honestly wants is for you to be close to him after the last several weeks. You wind an arm around his waist, all curled up in his lap, and he rests his chin on your head, not even minding the way your hair tickles his face.

It’s the most comfortable he’s been with anyone in ages, possibly ever. He knows that sometimes his words don’t come across the way he wants them to, knows that sometimes he can’t express himself. He hopes you can feel everything he can’t say while you sit like that.

(You can, you tell him weeks later when you’re going on your third actual date. It’s only the third because you made him actually try to apologize again, properly when there wasn’t a regatta to finish. He obliges because he says you’re worth it. But his words don’t come much easier. Instead, he wants to show you he’s sorry. And you agree to let him.)

Everything after that feels impossibly light. If Seokjin thought the team was running as well as it could the day before, he was wrong. Now that he’s actually feeling lighter and you’re less confused about where you stand, it’s like all of you move in a way that wasn’t possible before. It’s hard to tell where one person ends and the next begins, which translates really well for the next day of races.

(It translates even better for the final day, a day that Seokjin never views as a guarantee. And although the team doesn’t come in first, it’s still probably the best finish Seokjin has ever had in an event this big. So he’ll take it, to the slight surprise of Yoongi and Jungkook, who are used to him always wanting to do better. Instead, he laughs and says that drinks are on him that night.)

Really, it’s all kind of silly. Seokjin put so much energy into a rivalry that was all in his head and didn’t realize how much it was coloring everything he did until taking a step back. Now he realizes just how much he was holding himself back over something that was so stupid.

For the first time, Seokjin is both excited about what’s to come in sailing and seeing what it is he can accomplish with you by his side.

i hope you liked it! please let me know any thoughts ❤️

#btscarnivalnet #kvanity #thebtswritersclub #seokjin x reader #seokjin scenarios #seokjin imagine #seokjin smut #jin smut #jin x reader #bts smut #bts scenarios #bts imagines #bts x reader #catch of the century

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clotpolesonly · 7 months

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Surfin' On A Sound Wave, Swingin' Through The Stars

“How much did Matthew have to beg before you dressed up like that?”

Ronan’s scowl was far less intimidating—not that Gansey was ever cowed by it, truthfully—in light of the large arrow drawn in blue paint on his shaved head. The bright orange tablecloth he wore slung, toga-style, over one shoulder only served to undermine the expression further as he climbed out of the BMW and slammed the door behind him. His smile retained its edge, though, at least.

“Four solid minutes of the word ‘please’, repeated over and over again, before Declan offered to pay my last two speeding tickets if I would just do it and make him shut up.”

Gansey fell in at Ronan’s side as he strode up the car-crowded driveway, the open front door of a modest two story house their destination.

“I’m surprised you took that offer,” he said. “I would’ve expected you to make Matthew plead for eight minutes more, even louder, just to spite Declan.”

“Declan’s face when he realized I had more speeding tickets that he hadn’t heard about yet was worth caving early.” Ronan kicked the tires of a rusty Buick and turned to look Gansey up and down. “What are you supposed to be, anyway? An aspiring yacht captain who misplaced his yacht?”

Gansey leveled him with an unimpressed look. “These are just my regular clothes and you know it.” He ignored Ronan’s unrepentant sniggering in favor of checking Blue’s text again. “Jane said she has a couple’s costume planned for us but wouldn’t tell me what it is, only that I should just come to the party in my favorite outfit.”

“Maybe she’ll be in bright-ass green and you can be highlighters together.”

“Ha very ha. Is Adam here yet?”

“Fuck if I know. Let’s find out.”

Ronan took all three porch steps in one long stride. Gansey followed in a more traditional manner. The house was loud and crowded with people he mostly didn’t recognize—Mountain View students, presumably, rather than Aglionby ones. Ronan was already halfway down the hall, no thought spared for sticking together, but his costume was brightly colored enough that Gansey had no trouble keeping track of him in the throng.

By the time he caught up to Ronan in what he assumed to be the living room, Gansey had located a drink and Ronan had located his boyfriend.

“Adam! I see you too went the couple’s costume route.”

The look Adam gave him in response to this statement said quite plainly that he disagreed with how Gansey was defining his terms, and that he didn’t have much respect for Gansey’s particular definition. But, as with Ronan earlier, his costume robbed the expression of its usual verve. Not even Adam Parrish could pull off cutting condescension while wearing a headband with a pair of tall paper machine lemur ears attached to them.

“I just got off a long shift at Boyd’s,” Adam told him, “and I’ve got an early shift at the factory tomorrow morning. This was the least effort I could put in and still justifiably call it a costume.”

“Still more effort than Dick put in,” Ronan pointed out, inviting himself into Adam’s space. Adam shifted easily to accommodate him, the two of them pressing together like lodestones. As one, they eyed Gansey’s favorite yellow sweater. Their judgment was more powerful in tandem.

Gansey flushed. “Blue has my costume!“ he said. “I didn’t just opt not to participate in the holiday. I am not the Ebenezer Scrooge of Halloween. I’m simply following instructions.”

Ronan made a whip-crack noise, as if he didn’t ask how high whenever Adam said to jump. As if he didn’t fall all over himself to fulfill Adam’s every desire. As if he didn’t currently have Adam’s hand in the back pocket of his jeans.

The quirk of Adam’s eyebrow and the wry tilt to his smile indicated that he, at least, saw the irony here. He didn’t feel the need to comment, though. Instead, he took a sip of his own drink and then used it to gesture back toward the hallway.

“Blue’s in the kitchen getting a beer,” he said. “Should be right back.”

Gansey perked up. “You’ve seen her?”

“I’m not telling you her costume.”

Gansey perked back down. “Why ever not?”

“Because it’ll be awful funny this way, and after working for ten hours on a holiday, I really feel like I deserve that.”

In lieu of disagreeing—because he couldn’t exactly argue the fact that Adam worked too hard and deserved a good laugh once in a while, even if it was at his dear beleaguered friend’s expense—Gansey downed the drink some girl in the hall had helpfully passed to him on his way in. He thought it might be rum and coke. Ronan could probably tell just by sniffing it, but Ronan was busy nuzzling his boyfriend’s ear; the real one, not either of the paper mache ones.

Gansey had just about made the decision to leave his friends to their canoodling and get himself another drink when a pair of very familiar arms wound around his waist from behind.

“Jane! Finally!”

He, regretfully, dislodged her embrace. There would be plenty of time for hugging after the great mystery of their costume situation had been resolved to his satisfaction. He thought he heard Ronan smother a laugh as he turned around, but that wasn’t important.

Blue looked radiant. She always did, regardless of what she wore, but this outfit in particular clearly had her pleased as punch. It was a purple dress of a rather more intact nature than most dresses Gansey had seen her don, with buttons up the front and a rounded white collar. More in line with her usual eclectic style, the dress was patterned with…well, a variety of things. Some were ironed-on patches, others looked like she might have embroidered them, and yet more seemed to be painted right onto the fabric. Gansey could make out planets and stars, light bulbs, a battery, test tubes, some snowflakes, several small animals, and was that a piece of cheese?

Her dark hair was even messier than usual, curls pulled back into a tiny puff of a ponytail. All of her hair clips tonight were orange. Her earrings were in the shape of sandwiches.

“Let me guess,” Gansey said gamely. “The delightful Ms. Frizzle?”

Blue’s nose scrunched up when she laughed. He’d been helpless to the charm of it since the first time he’d been granted the privilege of seeing it. Now was no different. He couldn’t muster up even a smidgen of annoyance at having been mystifyingly denied foreknowledge of this entirely benign costume, not with that adorable scrunched up nose on display. It did still beg a question, though.

“You said this was a couple’s costume,” he pointed out. “What exactly am I meant to—”

Blue shoved him in the chest, which struck Gansey as awfully rude and unwarranted. But she was still smiling, her bottom lip tucked neatly between her teeth in a way that meant she was particularly—and mischievously—proud of herself for something. Frowning, Gansey followed her gaze down to where she had made contact with him.

There, stuck to his chest, was what appeared to be a magnet. Or, more accurately, a decal of a magnet. One of the big, red, U-shaped ones, recreated here in thick red and gray felt that adhered quite happily to the old-fuzzy fabric of his sweater.

Gansey blinked at it, uncomprehending, until Blue reached out and stuck something else to him: a blue star on his left pectoral. Then followed a lightbulb, pressed against his stomach, and a little green planet attached to his shoulder. Blue’s smile grew with every felt cutout she pulled out of the pocket of her dress. It wasn’t until the word “wahoo!” was applied over his collarbone that Gansey finally made the connection.

He closed his eyes and reminded himself that he loved this girl with all his heart. Then he said, “Jane. Am I the bus?”

Ronan laughed so hard, he needed to sit down. Adam was red in the face, his lemur ears knocked askew, bracing himself on the back of the loveseat Ronan had claimed as his own. Even some of the partygoers whom Gansey didn’t recognize were tittering appreciatively. One of them actually had her phone out to take a picture.

But none of that was important. Because Blue had her head thrown back, her own laughter lighting her up like a thousand watt bulb. The nose was scrunched. And there was nothing Gansey could do in the face of that except purse his lips against the smile he could feel forming entirely against his will. There was very little dignity to be found in this position, but he was determined to keep hold of at least a shred or two.

That lasted right up until Blue grabbed him by the collar and tugged him down for a kiss. Against his lips, she said, “You’re the most magical bus on the block.”

“I don’t know that there’s a lot of competition for that title.”

“I’ll fight you for it,” Ronan tried to say through a renewed spate of giggles.

Gansey flipped him off without turning to look. Adam guffawed; at least it wasn’t only at Gansey’s expense that he could derive pleasure.

Blue said, “I wouldn’t want you as my magic school bus anyway, Lynch.”

“No, you’d rather ride around in Gansey.” Ronan clawed himself halfway up the back of the couch to point from her to him and back again. “In Gansey! In—!”

He was clearly attempting to say something else, but he was so thoroughly overcome with hysterics that he couldn’t manage to form the words. Knowing him as well as he did, Gansey would hazard a guess that it had something to do with pegging. Adam, whose laughter had reached the point of silent wheezing and oxygen deprivation, was weakly batting in Ronan’s direction as a desperate plea for him to stop. His lemur ears had fallen off entirely.

Gansey turned back to Blue. “Do you see what you’ve done?”

“What I did,” she said, smug as anything, “is win at Halloween.”

“I wasn’t aware the holiday was a competition.”

“Everything is a competition if you’re winning.”

A laugh of his own—overwhelmingly fond and entirely irresistible—bubbled up in Gansey’s chest. He tugged Blue in to wrap his arms around her and pressed a kiss to her messy mop of hair. “You’re a menace, do you know that?”

Blue snuggled contentedly into his embrace, patting his back, and said, “I know. But you love me anyway, don’t you?”

“That depends. Did you just stick another magnet back there?”

“Which answer gets me a ‘yes’?”

Either. Both. Truthfully, there was no answer on this earth that could earn her anything else. Not even when she had dressed him up as a semi-sentient shape-shifting vehicle from a children’s cartoon. Gansey figured the indignity was a small price to pay to be here, with Blue’s arms around him, surrounded by his friends’ happiness.

Still.

“Next year, I’m picking the costumes.”

#Bluesey #Gansey #Blue Sargent #Pynch #Ronan Lynch #Adam Parrish #TRC #fics by me #fanfiction

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theambitiouswoman · 1 year

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How to restrict access to yourself? Especially when you have an outgoing personality? I would like to learn about exclusivity and how to exclude that. Not everyone can be your friend - type of thing or is worth your time (respectfully). Like if you’re asked out to lunch with some women who keep asking you when you keep bailing (that happened to me). I gave in, I didn’t know how to turn them down politely.

I don’t think the issue lies in your outgoing personality but your emotional investment and inability to say no.

You can have an outgoing personality and set limits, say no, set boundaries. It doesn’t make you a bad person.

Make sure you’re not confusing this with people pleasing, or needing to attach yourself to others for emotional fulfillment. Or feel like you need to prioritize others before you to feel loved, accepted or included.

You need to reprioritize yourself and your life. Find hobbies and goals to live for and pursue. If you don’t have a life of your own you’re constantly going to lean in to others and their lives and what they want. By establishing priorities that benefit you and make you happy without the involvement of others, you can find it easier to say no to things that don’t align with your goals and values.

Which leads me to learning how to say no. Funny enough, saying “no.” Is actually quite difficult and takes a lot of practice. But it’s important to establish boundaries. You can decline invitations or requests politely but firmly, by saying something like "Thank you for the invitation, but I'm not able to commit to that right now." You don’t really have to give a full explanation.

Saying “no” is enough but I would suggest being respectful about it. You can express your appreciation for the invitation but explain that you are not able to participate at this time.

You should also be more selective about your circles. Remember that your environment and circle of friends have a huge influence on who you become. Not everyone will be a good fit for you and that’s fine. Its important to be selective about the people you spend time with and focus on building relationships with those who align with your values and goals.

You “Bailing” is not their concern obviously as long as you’re respectful about it. Maybe those people have different priorities and much more free time than you. If they’re your friends and you’re busy, they should understand when you can’t make it.

Of course, do not make plans you can’t commit to. After a few times this may become rude. You can simply say things like “I am not sure that I will be able to make it; but I will try my best.” “I apologize I overcommitted my time and mis scheduled.”

Remember that it's okay to say no and set boundaries. It's essential to protect your time, energy, and emotional well-being, and only spend time with those who value and respect you. You can politely decline invitations or requests and focus on building relationships with those who align with your values and make you feel supported and valued.

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battybriefs · 1 year

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Remember kids, it's only grooming when it's gay.

But for real heres personal story time. Let's talk about actual grooming.

I grew up in the Mormon church in the 90s and early 2000s. Like a good child, I participated in all the church activities including the young women's program. My parents wanted me to do it, i was told the church leaders were good people so I didnt question anything.

While the guys in the boyscouts and young mens program were learning survival skills, learning woodworking, learning how to fix cars, and learning financial literacy ... we were learning to do our makeup, can food, bake bread, sew clothes, cook large meals, and learn about changing diapers. It was hammered in our heads from a young age that our entire purpose in life was to get married, serve the husband, have kids and raise a family.

I remember when I was a Beehive, around 13 or 14, our ward was invited to participate in a fashion show for one of the local bridal stores. They dressed all the young women up, did our makeup and hair, put us in wedding dresses, and invited all the men in the ward to come watch us runway walk in the cultural hall. I was a literal child. I didnt even have tıts yet. Men in their 60s and 70s in our ward came to watch us parade around in our little wedding gowns. That's straight up a pedopagent and grooming child brides, y'all, and I didn't even realize it because things like that were so normalized in the church.

I remember sitting in the bishops office interviewing for my first temple reccomend so I could participate in the young women's activity to do baptisms for the dead. He asks me if I live by the laws of chastity. I was young, naive, sheltered and didn't even know what the word chastity meant. I remember him aggressively, explicitly asking me questions about my virginity- had I ever kissed a boy, touched a boy, thought about a boy, touched myself, touched a girl, thought about a girl, felt tingly down there, had a hymen. He kept asking me over and over if I was sure about my answers, and would elaborate on what he meant like he was fishing for a specific answer. It felt so dirty and invasive. In hind sight it felt more like he was trying to get spank bank material than trying to find out if I was being a "good girl".

Fast forward a few years. Im in Junior High, probably about 15 years old. I'm a closeted homo sitting next to my girlfriend in church, trying my damndest to hold my tongue and not let people catch on that I was crying. The young woman's lesson was about a woman's worth.

They opened up by talking about how we're getting old enough to go to college in a few years and that that's great, but a career and college education should be a hobby and not a goal. They stressed that we shouldn't put our educations and careers as a priority over finding a man, getting married in the temple, and starting a family. They said as soon as we found a man, we needed to drop out and become stay at home mothers. It was the mans duty to provide for the family. We were told that the reason God sent women to this earth to serve men and raise families, and that it was a divine and sacred calling.

The second half was about how lesbians and gay people were sent by the devil to destroy families. We were told if we "struggled with same sex attraction" we needed to pray, repent and try harder to be straight. That we needed to tell the bishop so they could help us get gay conversion therapy. That even if we liked girls, we needed to find a man to marry and bear his children. They actively encouraged gay men and women to catfish straight partners and trick them into thinking you loved them with the purpose of bearing children. Can you imagine how fucking awful it would be to fall in love and marry a person thinking they felt the same way, only to find out they're gay and living a lie so they don't go to hell?

The church advocating "its ok to be gay but you have to be celibate and single for the rest of your life" was a change the church made a few years later when Prop 8 passed and their members started leaving in hoards.

Meanwhile I've been to drag shows since I was in high-school. It's just a bunch of people with great makeup skills doing lavish impressions of Lady Gaga and Freddy Mercury.

Why is a drag show considered grooming but telling actual children that theyre going to be mommies and daddies when they grow up not? Why is it grooming if a trans person is out in public doing something mundane like grocery shopping, but it isn't grooming watching television shows that has love triangle plotlines that revolve around teenagers making out and exploring their sexuality? Why is it grooming when a children's show has a character with two daddies but not grooming when the children's show character has a mom and a dad?

If people really give a shit about grooming, they need to start in their own backyard. Start by deconstructing straight representation in media. Start by asking why its ok to joke that a toddler is going to be a ladies man when he grows up. Start by asking why child beauty pagents even exist. Start by looking at how your religion teaches and enforces sexuality. Start with comprehensive and age appropriate lessons about the human body and consent with little Suzy so when uncle Bob is being inappropriate at the family reunion she has the knowlege and tools to know whats going on, to assert her boundaries, and the confidence to tell another grownup what's going on.

#lgbtq community #lgbtqia #trans rights #exmormon #exmo #athiest #lgbt #lgbt representation #drag queen

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voxasks · 2 months

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🫐 hello vox! I'm not sure if you know much about personality types, but I'm an ENFP! well,that's what the test says, my friends say I'm more of an esfp, but doesn't really matter haha. I'm a girl, I'm asian, 5'7, I have long, straight brown hair and blue eyes. I'm 130 pounds, or well, 59 kilos! I'm a very lively and energetic person, I love making my friends happy and spreading joy. I'm sort of the therapist friend, as my friends often come to me for advice or when they want to talk about their feelings. I'm generous, I often share my things, even if there is none left for me. There have been too many times where I would open a pack of of cookies and offer it to everyone, emptying the packet and leaving none for myself 😂. I guess I'm sort of a people pleaser.. I want people to think good things about me. It's a little important to me. I love being loved, and I hate being hated. I enjoy physical touch a lot, I often kiss and hug my friends, but of course I respect their spaces with the friends that don't like being touched. I give my friends gifts out of nowhere, even if there are no special occasions. Like pens and gift cards and jewelry. I tend to forgive people pretty easily, as I have a strong sense of empathy and sympathy. I'm emotional, I sadly get upset very easily, even if I don't want to. I don't think you'll like me so much, but I wanted to participate !

"hahahaha, okay, little tip for ya : there are bad people in this world, myself included. if you don't treat yourself right, no one will. as for my inner thoughts of you, you've got some form of mommy or daddy issues, 100%, and i'm willing to bet it's daddy issues specifically. grew up with tough love, it's not your thing so now you show everyone else you care in any other way because you wish the same thing was done to you. you wish that someday, someone would give you all their cookies. you also weren't hugged as a kid so now you hug everyone else. pens and giftcards and jewelry ... perfect for giftgiving, which is something you stated to enjoy. again, a hobby that serves others and not yourself. deep down you seem scared to not be worth anything so you make yourself 'delightful' to be around so that you'll be worth something. i'm telling you, one day someone is going to try and walk all over you. and when that day happens, rememeber this moment, because i am telling you that you need to get up off your ass and shove that fucker down the drain. you don't want them to hate you? tough fucking shit, you already hate being around them. the fact that you do everything in your power to make everyone else happy is proof enough that you deserve someone who will treat you right, and it's definitely not the fucker stepping all over your favorite outfit so invite them over for a romantic bath and drop a cute toaster in there for all the good times. and just, humor me for a second; are you angry at your parents?"

( this ask is based off of my 200 followers event : it’s still open as of the time this was posted. )

#shit this was like looking at the mirror #vox hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin hotel roleplay #hazbin hotel rp #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel ask blog #hazbin hotel fandom #hazbin rp #hazbin vox #.voxasks advice #.voxasks 200 event

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amaiguri · 7 months

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#CalmWriMo 2023 Introduction

I'm Amaiguri -- or just Amai or Belle, it's all cool -- and I'm writing a script for a fantasy RPGmaker game! (It's also a webnovel lol.) I'll be participating in #CalmWriMo this year -- started by the wonderful @winterandwords.

If you're not aware, #CalmWriMo is for: "If you want to do NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) but a 50k word goal doesn't work for you, you're invited to join me in CalmWriMo 2023 on Tumblr for a chilled-out creative experience this November."

If this sounds fun for you, you should join us too! (VERY no-pressure tagging @maiemorrae and @dragonprincedawn to join me so we can all do writing and self-care stuff together!)

🎮 Amai's Story Pitch

"All promised heroes burn. Who are they now?"

In a world of fated heroes and abyssal machines -- born both of Kings and Philosophy --, a burned assassin girl must find new purpose when the War ends.

Untitled Yssaia Game is a narrative-focused, hand-drawn adventure. Navigate an assassin through her delicate, brutal world after the War annexed her homeland. Delve deep into political dealings, your past trauma, and the Abyss beneath the world!

📇 Amai's Writing Goal

I don't need to write a lot, but I do want to write every day. Even just one sentence! I wanna keep up my momentum!

I'm estimating the end of my story to be at around 300-350k words and I think I'm at around ~270k words? I literally don't know, everything is in different places... 😅So anyway, I just want to ensure I'm always making progress.

Plus, I tend to write more when I'm writing more! So I think this will be healthy for me, as long as I pace myself!

🛁 Amai's Self-Care Goal

I need start (again) setting Quarterly Goals and I need to start journaling every day again. I don't have to write a ton, I have to write 5 bullet points:

What's up with my at-work job?

What's up with my social life?

What media am I consuming lately?

What's up with my personal projects?

What's going on in my personal/internal world?

My sense of time has been absolutely shot since the start of the Pandemic and graduating college hasn't helped. See, what ends up happening is I get to the end of any chunk of time -- a week, a month, a season -- and I PANIC that I haven't accomplished anything.

But having a literal checklist of Quarterly Goals helps proves otherwise -- I can cross off a bunch of stuff, add new things that I accomplished not-on-the-list, and I can tell my anxiety to shut up. (And yes, I don't measure my self-worth by my productivity but I AM aware that my time is limited on this earth and I want to make sure I'm doing the things that are important to me during it!)

And journalling every day is another good way to ensure my sense of time stays in-tact! And having an in-tact sense of time ensures I talk to my friends enough and give myself enough free time and etc. etc.

And that's all!

What are your writerly goals for this November?

#nanowrimo #calmwrimo #writeblr #fantasy world #fantasy writing #writing #writeblr community #am writing #tumblr writers #writing community #self care #nanotrymo #rpgmaker #game writing #amaiguri #yssaia

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we-staybhaalin · 2 months

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For my beloveds, Niralei and Nettie please:

What is your Tav’s favorite place to have sex?

What is your Tav’s class and how does it affect their sexual life?

Would Tav like to participate in orgy?

Is there a companion they would sleep with but not want to date and why?

Mwah mwah💋💋!! Thank you for the ask (and allowing me to field answers for both of them lmaooooo)

What is your Tav’s favorite place to have sex?

Niralei: The set up honestly matters more to her than the place. Most times, she's getting fucked proper in a bedroom but she likes being laid out on silks, lush cottons, and furs with a nice warm fire in the back. The more expensive the set up, the better. She wants to feel luxurious and comfortable when she's having sex.

Nettlebane: If she can convince her partner to take a shot out in public, she absolutely will, and being with Gale makes it even easier since he can apparently just conjure a bed out of thin air. Assuming they travel in the spare time often, she typically keeps an eye out for very scenic areas or overlooks and will immediately ask if he can throw a bed down so they can have at each other.

What is your Tav’s class and how does it affect their sexual life?

Niralei: Is a bard/rogue combination but I think the class that matters most regarding her sex life is the bard bit. Niralei herself often times flirts with others and having tight control of her sexuality is something that benefits her a lot in what she does with her image. She is sultry and she is enticing. People like looking at a beautiful person while she's dancing and singing, and her beauty makes her far more approachable when people need work or just want her. She's gotten plenty of action due to her work and knowing how to pick people up or let them down gentle goes hand in hand with being a bard.

Nettlebane: OH BOY. Nettie is a cleric and, while she is not an option to pick in game, she is a cleric of Sharess so she is very much affected from head to toe with how her specific class plays into her sex life. Nettie venerates a goddess of hedonism and typically makes it her mission to have the most amazing sex with as many people as she possibly can, in addition to also encouraging people to indulge in pretty much everything ranging from drunken revelry to the most intense orgies. The reason she even landed in Baldur's Gate to begin with was because she was chosen to help establish a chapter of Sharess worship within the city.

Would Tav like to participate in orgy?

Niralei: Has participated in many, both as a person working during the orgy and as an active participant. She has entertained at many a seductive sex party being thrown by the wealthier and more hedonistic patriars of the city. In turn, just as many of them use her services as an excuse to see if they can pull her into bed with them. She's taken some of them up on it but most of them have to really make it worth her while to have her out here mixing business with pleasure.

Nettlebane: Has also participated in many, both as a person working the orgy and as an active participant. When she took up worship with Sharess, Alris eased her into shapig her sexual preferences and desires. When she felt more confident, he would shadow her during the orgies he would organize until she felt comfortable enough to start finding her own partners to sleep with. Working for Niralei and the Hell's' Bells, they get invited to orgies as well providing song, dance, poetry, and in Nettie's case, massages. When she was allowed to join in the festivities, she'd skip off and make her rounds finding interesting people to bed at the party.

Is there a companion they would sleep with but not want to date and why?

Niralei: There is and she canonically sleeps with him: it's Astarion. In the beginning of the journey, she and Astarion clicked with their flirtations and as a way to blow off steam, she took him up on his offer of sex. Sometime later, she picked up on him laying down the seduction for the purpose of using her and, while she's no stranger to the concept, she can't maintain interest with a person who sees sex with her as a means to an end on a regular basis. She understands that struggle--that need to use what you know to gain an advantage no matter how small. It's not the kind of sex she can bring herself to enjoy and she eventually stopped pursuing his bedroll and actively made an effort to foster a friendship instead. It's what drives him to eventually pursue Colette and Richter later down the line.

Nettlebane: Nettlebane in another life would've gone all in on Halsin had she met him before he met Niralei. The second she laid eyes on him, she knew she wanted him badly, but his focus and attention seemed keen on other things so she kept her distance. I think her desire for Halsin would have been purely physical and she would have kept it that way alongside a warm friendship.

Ask me something spicy...👀

#writing challenge #bg3 #bg3 tiefling #bg3 tav

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saiyanprincessswanie · 2 years

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Missy’s 3.5K Challenge

Missy’s 3500 Challenge!!

WOW! How did I reach 3500 followers? What a crazy ride this continues to be. I want to thank every single one of my followers on my blog. Whether you follow me for my work or for my weekly reading lists I thank you. Without your support, I wouldn’t be here.

(Thank you @fictional-affairs for the header!!)

Rules:

You don’t have to follow me to participate, but if you want to you will make my day.

Reblog this post so others can join in.

You must be over 18 years old to participate

Send me an ASK with the Character, Troupe, AU or Prompt you want.

Mark all stories appropriately. (Fluff, Smut, Dark, Non/Con, etc)

It must be a one-shot or new fic

Two people per prompt

Can be either reader insert or OFC

No incest, No underage, No pedo, No toilet/bathroom fics, No DDLG.

Minimum words 500, No max, Please use the keep reading feature if it’s longer than 500 words

Due date: open

All stories will be reblogged. I will add all stories to a Masterlist for easy access. Tag your fic as #Missys3500challenge and tag me in your notes. If I haven’t reblogged your work for a week Tumblr might have eaten the notification so please send me a message.

Marvel Characters:

Steve Rogers

Bucky Barnes

Sam Wilson

Wanda

Natasha

Tony

Loki

Thor

Pietro

Billy Russo

Brock Rumlow

Helmut Zemo

Non-Marvel Characters:

Ransom Drysdale

Ari Levinson

Frank Adler

Andy Barber

Curtis (Snowpiercer)

Lloyd Hansen

Nick Fowler

Frank (endings/beginnings)

Chris (Destroyer)

Charles Blackwood

Dean Winchester

Lt. Bradley “Rooster Bradshaw (Maverick)

AU’s:

Mob

Biker

A/B/O

Cop/Detective

Firefighter

Bartender

Royalty

Vikings

Tropes:

Enemies (to friends) to lovers

Sex pollen

First Time

Annoying Neighbor (Tony - @mostly-marvel-musings )

Love at first sight

Evil Twin (Steve - @ironlady1993 )

Hate Sex

Opposites Attract

Prompts:

"They invited us for the family brunch, am I slashing the tires, or are you?"

"I can't believe you made plans, I thought we were on the same side," (Brock - @nekoannie-chan )

"no one else gets to hurt you, you're mine!" (Mob AU/Andy is prosecuting Steve/trope 1/ - @adulting-sucks )

"I'm 90% certain I lost my sanity because of you," (Stark/Mob au/trope 4 @pigwidgeonxo ) & (Trope 5/Lloyd- @nepenthe-raes-affairs )

"You think your life is worth more than mine? Think again sweetheart," (Ransom & Lloyd AU 7, Tropes 5 and 6, - @sarah-in-disguise )

“Of course, they'll fall in love, I planned it," (Stark/Mob au/Trope 4 @pigwidgeonxo )

"Her boyfriend showed up? Oh no, this isn't good," (SamxBlack ReaderxBucky/trope 5 - @awesomerextyphoon )

"You're single, they're single, I'm a great third-wheel. It's a perfect match,"

"So I mean nothing to you now?" After everything we've done!"

"Hey, hey, It's okay, I'm here now,” (Dean/Bartender/Sex pollen - @tarithenurse ) & (Dark Steve - @kitkatd7 )

"Remind me to take a vacation after this,"

"I was never good enough, you always hurt me, so why? why do I miss you?" (Steve or Brock - @nekoannie-chan )

"I can't stop staring at her picture," (Ari/AU 7/trope 8 - @ladyfallonavenger )

"The image of you pops into my head and I just lose my breath,"

“You had me at hello.” (Dean/royalty- @spnexploration )

"Ah, my friend looks like he's about to kill you, you best leave," (Steve/Mob - @captainapple )

"I’ll always be here for you,”

"This is why I love you,"

"Why are you smiling at me like that?" (Ransom/bartender au - @fluffycutecevans )

"you're so beautiful,"

"I would burn the whole city down for you," (Loki/Vikings/Enemies to lovers - @floatinginadreamofhim )

"I said I was sorry! What else do you want from me?" (Enemies to lovers/BillyorThor - @lokislastlove )

“Just kiss already!” (Trope 4, w/Sam or Steve @ghostofskywalker )

“I miss your warmth,” (Steve - @americasass81 )

“Do you regret letting us end?” (Trope 7, w/ Sam - @fluffyprettykitty )

#missys3500challenge #marvel fanfiction #marvel fanfic #fanfic writing challenge #marvel writing #writing challenge #mcu fanfiction #mcu fanfic

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tallyanimatez · 1 year

Text

Favorite thing to do

domicile au

What is your most favorite thing to do when you don't have 7 powerful men trying to fight over you?

Hangout out with your friends who are the same age as you! ( You believe you're the same age as them )

You don't dwell on living a life full of luxury. In fact, you wish you could live a normal mundane life just like back then, when you had a family.

Even if it is just a replica of what you once had.

Even if they are not beside you any longer .

Even if this is just to fill your hollow chest.

It's better than nothing. You always tell yourself that.

Whenever you have some leisure time, your first destination is the Heartslabyul manor, you always come there to pick up Ace and Duece for a friendship picnic. After convincing Riddle to let the two "troublemakers" get a break ( by threatening Riddle you'll never bake a strawberry tart for him again ). You then proceed to drag Adeuce duo to the track training area, where you encounter Jack. You remember him coming here, especially early in the morning for a quick run, so you keep it in mind whenever you want to hangout with him or join him during his runs, plus you never see Leona whenever you go here so it's two birds with one stone. Waving at Jack to catch his attention, you speak loudly that you'll be having a picnic near the forest at ramshackle field and he's invited. Then you proceed to drag the Adeuce duo to find Epel. Should your memory server you right, Epel will be at Spell drive club for some training or he could be wandering in the city to avoid Vil. Choosing the former option ( you know very well Leona has a soft spot for you and he falters easily at your tears ), you make your way to the Spell drive club. You are lucked out to find the apple boy there, and Leona is not there too! You waved at Epel in hopes that it would catch his attention, it took you a few tries but nevertheless he was able to notice you. You tell Epel that you, Jack, Ace, Deuce are going for a picnic, but before that, you need to invite one last guest before starting. You decided to bring the four to the meadow you found a few days ago and set up everything first before going to Sebek ( convincing Sebek is the hardest thing to do without having your ear drums blown off. However... just mention that Malleus gave him permission then he will be silent and come with you ). The walk to the castle took a while, but you think it's worth it because Sebek seems like he's off duty post for now seeing that he's outside the castle. Surprisingly he was kind of silent for today, but it is not your business so you decided to drag Sebek to the meadow again, only for your ears to be blown off during the entire journey...

"C'monnn Sebek, it's been so long since we were able to spend time with each other without having the leaders fighting over meeeee. It's even more rare that Grim let me off the hook once so I can be free!"

"HOW DARE YOU HUMAN THINK I'LL PARTICIPATE IN SUCH USELESS ACTIVITY-"

"Sebek, I will tell Malleus that you refused my invitation which made me cry, you'll be shunned by your Waka-sama."

"..."

"Wowie, Sebek actually stayed quiet for once."

"With Yuu's given position, it would be dumb for the crocodile to not stay silent. "

"Yeah yeah bleeee"

"Even Leona would give in a bit to their antiques, that shows how scary Yuu is..."

"But you did work hard for the position and you didn't use it for bad reasons, so I respect the decision."

It's always you trying to silence Sebek for everyone's greater good, then following Epel's admiration to Ace's harsh criticism, next is Jack's admiration (?) to Deuce's respect. They aren't wrong that the world could be under your feet at any given time with the connections you have formed. Nobody is strong enough to over power any of the seven.

But it wasn't what you wanted in the end.

Your wish was to find your family and reunite with them again. Even though you don't know if they'll live that long...

You promised to cherish every moment to them, so it's the least you could make it up to them.

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breelandwalker · 1 year

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hi, bree! you know a lot about witchy history, so i’d love your input—what word would you call a group of people who get together to practice/discuss magic + spirituality, that DOESN’T imply a specific hierarchy or belief system?

Good news! There's definitely a word for that. You call it a "circle."

Think of it like a friend group. A circle of friends, a circle of witches. People you meet with to chat and share ideas and maybe even do some witchy things in a casual environment that does not require oaths of secrecy or uniformity of belief / practice.

Some witches still keep trying to call this a "coven," but it's really not. I know it might sound a bit nitpicky to say so, but the word "coven" has very specific connotations and some of the very vital particulars of covenship do not apply to the kind of gathering you describe.

For one thing, as you mentioned, a coven will have a uniformity of belief. It is understood that all the members of the coven will belong to the same tradition, or at least very similar ones. There are also vows involved, to the group and to each other. These will vary from coven to coven, but they generally involve keeping the group's secrets, not talking about the group's activities with outsiders, abiding by the rules set in place by coven leadership, and submitting to majority rule when decisions are raised. There is not always a clear hierarchy, but there may be roles assigned within the group with regard to leadership in rituals or individual responsibilities with regard to preparation, i.e. it's Person A's turn to lead the solstice ritual and Person B will prepare the altar candles.

And the main difference is that covens require initiation. With or without instruction or training, you have to be initiated into the group through some kind of formal ritual, and you have to be aware of what you're doing and consent to it. You don't just wander into a gathering and come out having accidentally joined a coven simply by being there. Circles don't require initiation, only an invitation.

(I feel like this is important to mention given that newer witches can easily be misled or manipulated into thinking they've joined a coven or that they're somehow beholden to the instructions of another witch simply because they attended an event or worked magic together, and that way lies a lot of problems. Someone tried to do it to me when I was starting out, but thankfully I knew enough to say, "No we're not a coven, I never took any vows.")

It's worth mentioning that covens, either as a group or as individuals, may participate in larger circles with solitary or independent practitioners or with other covens. I don't know how common it is, but I know it does happen.

Basically, any group of magical practitioners which gathers for craft-related purposes and does not require initiation or oaths in order to attend could be called a circle. It's not a coven unless those extra steps are taken with the knowledge and consent of everyone present. Even if you celebrate holidays together, even if you work magic together, even if you have full-scale group rituals, it's not a coven.

Hope this helps! 😊

#shoujoglitter #witchblr #witchcraft #pagan #witch tips #Advice for Beginner Witches #Bree answers your inquiries

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tomoyajpeg · 2 years

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White Brim | BATTLEROYAL/1

Time: Late February

Location: Somewhere in Japan, in a vacation home belonging to the Tenshouin household

Tori: Anzu~! Why are you cramming yourself into the corner like that?

If you don’t know the etiquette for a gathering like this, do you want me to teach you aaaaaaall about it? Ehehe, it’ll be in return for all the times you’ve helped me out! ♪

Tsukasa: Anzu-onee-sama! Your face is awfully pale, is it not? Could it be that you haven’t eaten anything today, so you are feeling hunger pains?

In that case, please allow this humble Tsukasa to bring you a great array of confections! Just for Onee-sama, I shall act the part of a waiter - normally I would never conduct myself in such a manner. ♪

Tori: Hmm...?

Tsukasa: Guh...?

Tori: —Huuuuh? I almost didn’t recognize you, but you’re Tsukasa, aren’t you! You were here, too? You give off such a shabby aura, for a moment I thought some sort of vagrant had showed up!

Tsukasa: Oh, what’s this? The person speaking to me... could it be Tori-kun? My deepest apologies! I couldn’t see who it was, as you’re too short to enter my line of vision!

Tori: You pauper who can only boast about his family...!

Tsukasa: You tiny little speck, pretending like you’re worth something...! [1]

Hiyori: Alright, that’s enough, children! We’re somewhere fun, so I’d like it if you didn’t get all prickly with each other! That’s foul weather!

Tsukasa: Eh? Ah, yes...?

Tori: Hiyori-sama! It’s unusual to see you here, I didn’t know that you were going to show up this time!

Hiyori: Aha ♪ If anything, shouldn’t I, the carefree second son, be responsible for indulging in merrymaking at a party such as this one?

Well, when my older brother’s attending, I don’t want to trouble him so I usually respectfully decline my own invitation.

But this year, he said that he’d be busy with work, so it was a bit doubtful as to whether he could attend or not.

In addition, this year’s party is to celebrate the establishment of the Tenshouin family’s impressive enterprise - ES - as well as the great success of its biggest event, “SS.”

And as for me, someone who was essentially the White Team’s representative during “SS“ - I pretty much have to participate, right? In the eyes of the general public, I’m seen as one of the protagonists, am I not?

Of course, that goes for you two as well. Everyone’s just itching to hear us talk about ES and “SS,” aren’t they?

In financial circles, ES has gotten so big that there’s no way it can be ignored anymore.

Tsukasa: “SS”—

Tori: ..........

Hiyori: Hm? I know that Tori-kun was feeling under the weather during the main battle of “SS,” so it’s clear why he looks so disappointed... but why the long face, Tsukasa-kun of the Suou household?

Tsukasa: Haah... my apologies, Hiyori-sama.

Certainly, we Knights were, in our own way, able to contribute a marvelous showing during the main event.

Thanks to the many Lessons we went through together with Trickstar, when we stood alongside them, we were able to work together very smoothly—

Here and now, us Knights are proud to have shown a wonderful Performance.

However, there are still some things I am ashamed about. Such as our utter defeat at the hands of Crazy:B in the qualifying round...

I am unable to unabashedly rejoice and proclaim that everything went smoothly, and we all lived happily ever after.

Hiyori: Fufu. Well, there’s not a single unit who was in “SS” who can say that everything, from beginning to end, was a great success that went exactly as planned, now is there?

Our Eden is no exception. In the end, it was kind of forcibly undecided, but up until the middle of the main event the White Team went through a whole string of losses.

It kind of feels like our dignity as the overwhelming champions was wounded, you know?

People might start thinking “they act all self-important, but they’re not such a big deal after all,” or something.

Tsukasa: I don’t think that’s true at all.

Tori: Yeah, yeah! In my eyes, Eden was always shining, dazzling and far away - like, I was totally no match for you.

Tsukasa: Indeed. Though, to be frank, “SS” was an event where everyone was up to their eyeballs in their own affairs—

There was no time to pay attention to the situations of the other Units, or the reaction from the public.

Even so, new jobs keep flooding in, and we were not granted the breathing room to organize our thoughts about what happened. We were all forcibly returned to the hectic work of our daily lives—

And anything and everything about “SS” seemed to vanish into the mist, just like a dream.

Tori: I know, right~ Somehow, it really did seem like we were all dreaming.

Hiyori: Ahaha. I think it’s better to reset your mind and return to our daily lives as soon as possible. “SS” was an ephemeral dream, a single moment of something extraordinary.

If you’re imprisoned inside that dream forever, it’ll get in the way of the rest of your life.

And so that doesn’t happen, we have this party to help reset us back to normal. If we have fun playing around and eating delicious food, it’ll alleviate our exhaustion.

In order to do our best as idols tomorrow, too, we’ll recharge our batteries.

In Anzu-chan’s case, she’ll have to do her best as a producer. That’s why she was able to be invited here, though she’s not really an aristocrat, right? Not that I care about something like that.

Eichi: —That's exactly right.

Fufu. As always, you understand my feelings far better than anyone else could, Hiyori-kun.

Hiyori: Oh, Eichi-kun, you were here? I haven’t seen hide nor hair of you for so long, I thought you’d gone and died somewhere!

Eichi: ...You know, you say that every time we meet. Do you really want me dead that badly?

Hiyori: Huh? No way, you’re being way too self-conscious. It doesn’t matter one bit to me whether you’re dead or alive!

Tori: ...Hm? What’s up, Anzu? Why are you laughing?

Huh? You think that the atmosphere between me and Tsukasa is similar to the atmosphere between Eichi-sama and Hiyori-sama? What do you mean?

I don’t really get it, but as long as Anzu’s smiling, I’m glad~ You’ve seemed kind of downcast for a while now, so I was worried.

Huh? “That’s my line,” you say?

Yeah... I, too, wanna go back to the way I usually am, laughing innocently just like before.

But it’s still... difficult, right now.

Literally “speck of bean dust painted in gold leaf”. It’s... clumsy wording in English, to say the least.

#enstars #suou tsukasa #himemiya tori #tomoe hiyori #tenshouin eichi #white brim

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sherifftillman · 9 months

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get to know me!

anna @keerysquinn filled this in and i was thinking about my own answers and realised they go on for ages so i figured if y'all ever wanted a super lore drop about me. here it is!

since my answers are so long, i'm not going to tag anyone, but if you also get inspired to answer, i'm more than happy to learn about people so you can tag me in as the reason you want to answer these!

(under the cut bc of how long it gets lol)

Name(real or alias): rj. letter r, letter j. (i have to spell it out especially when i'm in america bc people think i'm saying audrey) it's an abbreviation of my given name, which considering it's common knowledge that i'm afab, it's probably pretty easy to guess? but i don't want anyone calling me anything other than rj, or ridge

ridge comes from the sounds 'ruh' and 'juh' being said real quickly in succession. my friend jamie once sent me an ask on my old blog forever ago that started with 'hey ridge' and i fell in love with it, but something feels weirdly overfamiliar when people call me it who i'm not mutuals with?? anyway, that's why my user tag is userridge, bc it wasn't being used and it is a legit nickname of mine i've had for years

Age: [schmidt from new girl voice] TWENNY-NOINE

Country you live in: england (derogatory). the oldies at the care home i work at (not for much longer!!) always assume that bc i visit my friends in america so often, i'm planning on moving there, but tbh as much as i'd love to not be an ocean away from the people i love most, domestic day-to-day life in america isn't worth the move. i'd rather sensationalise the one or two trips i get to wal-mart every year, lol

Fandoms: the only fandom i actively participate in, in terms of consuming regular fanart, fanfiction, character analysis, gifmaking and shipping, is stranger things. i have a lot of other interests in other media that i love to consume, but i don't necessarily feel any particular urge to take part in most, if any, parts of fandom culture within those interests like i do with stranger things and other projects affiliated with its actors

Why are you on tumblr (writer or reader or both): i've gone from being strictly a stranger things reader insert writer, to an all-characters-played-by-the-joes reader insert writer, to a sometimes reader insert writer but not for stranger things, sometimes pairing writer but only for stranger things rarepairs, and also now gifmaker!

Favorite thing about yourself: i can take care of people, and i'm good at it. i can make people feel better, and i can stand up for them when it's needed

Something you think you are known for: being the co-captain of cheerscoops, and The Ralph Mutual (which is a kind way of saying the mutual mentally unwell enough to write a six-figure word count about a character with six minutes of screentime)

Who are you in a friend group(partier, mom, talkative, etc): lol what's a friend group? i kid, i kid. i don't really have any irl friend "groups" anymore, but even back when i did, i was more of a gap filler. like, i wasn't one of the first people invited to things, but then later on if someone dropped out or if the group realised more people could come, then i'd be offered

in online groups, i like to think i'm someone who makes people laugh? i'm definitely the indecisive one who needs to crowdsource every choice put in front of me, but that's what you get when you befriend a nonbinary bisexual lol. i also like to bounce ideas back and forth with people, though admittedly despite how often i do it, i do also hold myself back from it a lot bc i don't want people to think i'm taking their idea and running with it

Who do you love the most: keep this clip in mind as you read the next part of this sentence: ask me that again and look at my url. i haven't felt such a (distantly) parasocial connection towards (not with, there's a difference) any celebrity in a long time that i do with the joes. like, i don't want to know anything about their personal lives in the slightest, but i'm always excited to see what they're doing next, in a way i'm not necessarily about anybody else

What brought you to tumblr in the first place: this blog started out because @denim-mixtapes and i, who met through our former blogs dedicated to A Fandom We Don't Talk About Any More, were yelling about eddie munson via snapchat, discord, instagram, our public twitter accounts and our private ones, tiktok, maybe more? and then @fanatictypist, also a friend from AFWDTAAM and deep in the brainrot but never having taken the break from tumblr that mandy and i did, suggested taking our ideas to tumblr bc this was july 2022 when hype was INSANELY real

before that, i made a blog specifically for AFWDTAAM because a) i missed the fandom blog i'd had before that which i had previously deactivated, and b) i realised there was reader insert fanfiction for said fandom, but not enough featuring the person that i liked the most, so i started writing. i'd never written x reader before then.

before that, as i said, i had a fandom blog. it was the one i used to join rp groups on tumblr, which was fun until it wasn't. and i realised that i was going through a cycle of finding a new group, enjoying their company, having major drama ensue, and eventually instead of just moving to another rp group to see the same thing happen over n over again, i just deactivated entirely. i miss rp-ing, but also i wouldn't go back to it at the age of 29

Is there something you regret doing: i have a lot of things that i have learned from, and i regret the fact that actions i've made have hurt people, always inadvertently, but still. i wish that the things that helped me to grow weren't at the expense of other people feeling bad about something in regard to me, but i don't think that constitutes regret.

being autistic, a lot of the time, people seem to just drop me out of seemingly nowhere. and my irl bestie does tell me that a lot of the people i end up befriending, are people she gets a bad vibe from or doesn't really trust, and they're always the ones who don't stick around. but i do feel as though i must be accountable, too, and i know and understand that nobody owes me an explanation if i have done something that warrants them no longer wanting me in their life, but also, how do i know what i need to do to salvage important relationships to me if they don't think it important enough to tell me? that's why i'm a big advocate that your friends should not be your 100% hype men. if they are, i don't trust them. i need people to call me out on my shit and tell me if i'm doing something wrong, or going too far. and i need to feel like i can do the same with them, without them getting offended. it's for both of our benefits

Top five songs: ugh okay each of these has a v significant meaning so here goes

fool - djo: as previously mentioned, am autistic. i got myself diagnosed at 20, and everything suddenly made sense. my mum refused to accept it, told me that everybody's a little on the spectrum, that i only think i am bc i've looked it up and aligned myself with the traits. i learned at 28 that actually, i've had a diagnosis since i was 4. mum just never ever did anything to help me. not when i was going through school wanting to **** ****** bc i knew i was the "weird kid" but i didn't know what made me so weird that everyone ganged up on me so i didn't know how to fix it. turns out i couldn't. i could have gotten more support, but i didn't. and even now that they know i know about the og diagnosis, my parents refuse to acknowledge it. for years, they would scold and bully me away from behaviours that were actually just me stimming, and merely existing as an autistic kid. so i have to put on a persona for them, i have to be their "fool" to appease them rather than just getting to be my authentic, autistic self like i can be around my friends

consequences - lovejoy: going back to the earlier not-quite-regret-but-definitely-Something feeling of knowing that someday friendships and relationships will almost certainly be doomed. this sing encapsulates that for me a lot

car lights - james marriott: the queer anthem of all time. m+d have always said that they "don't care" who i bring home but whenever they talk about me having a future they talk about a husband, or a potential father of my children (which idek if i want) even though i've had relationships with women. it again feels part of something i have to hide from them

soft - motionless in white: a new contender thanks to kai and acey. i've always been the "wholesome" one, i've never really felt rage specifically, or had an outlet for it, but being a lifelong people pleaser and having something to inspire me to work on giving less of a shit what other people are thinking/saying about me has been a game changer for the ol self-esteem

undertale - toby fox: i can't explain this one. it just makes me cry every time i listen to it. like, weep actual tears. every time.

If you could go anywhere where would you go: i've always wanted to go to japan, but i also don't like going to countries where english is not a first language without having a basic understanding of the mother tongue of that country and japanese is fuckin difficult to learn. i've also always wanted to go to australia, even before anyone in particular came into my life tyvm

What is your hobby: fanfic writing, gif making, video game playing. procrastinating is a hobby at this point, lol. i like to try craft things, but i'm not very good at keeping up with them

Any tv shows you watching: i'm rewatching stranger things bc gifmaking has ruined my perception of the actual timeline of events. i'm actively watching the afterparty s2 and only murders in the building s3. it's not really a tv show, but i watch it on my tv, dimension 20's current campaign, mentopolis, is also something i'm actively keeping up with, on top of all actively releasing dropout content

What movie did you last watch: the last movies i put on were the mamma mia films, as background while i wrote, and ever since i've been slowly cooking a mamma mia stranger things au bc i'm basically incapable of consuming any media without relating it to stranger things at this point. i can relate each of the 3 canon characters to eddie, steve and jonathan, but i can't shake the idea that like. what if argyle was one of the potential dads. it wouldn't be a direct parody bc he's so different from any other character in the mamma mia franchise but i think it would be so fun to include him, too

Last thing you read(book, fanfic, etc): i'm reading rebel robin, atm, bc idk why i never really thought to indulge in the stranger things books before now? i used to read doctor who books so it's not like i'm a stranger to consuming media outside of its original format. i'm also currently reading through @pearlypairings' photocheer fic there is a light that never goes out!

Last text message you got: HAHAHA this one's funny. my sister's getting married next month and she's asking if we've all paid for our parts, I told her I'd paid it and her fiance told me they'd receievd it (he's an accountant so he's dealing with the money side of things) but my sister couldn't spot anything from me even though i told her what her fiance had told me, so my last text from her is "unless he's financially gaslighting me, or he's tucked it away in his fuck-off fund" (which i should establish is a joke bc he is 1000% not like that in the slightest)

Last text message you sent: sending to my sister, above: "or he's gaslighting me into believing i've sent it when it didn't go through, classic Dishonest [fiance name redacted]!" (again, all a joke)

Any pets: none atm :( i still live with my parents who have never wanted any of us to have pets, but now that my older sister has her dog, jasper, my family are obsessed with him. i mean, they have a photo of him in our living room that's bigger than any photo of any of us kids

#tag game #? even though i wasn't tagged or i'm not tagging anyone lol #about me

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