feminastywomxn-blog

[feminastywomxn-blog]

When my husband says I’ve eaten fast or lots I feel exposed, like I’ve let him down for having an appetite or appreciating food. It’s not seen as attractive if you’re a womxn who eats a lot or who doesn’t eat “rabbit food” constantly. But why? Because society and the media has made it so unattractive to eat and eat lots. I remember my first date with my husband, he wanted to take me out to a beautiful restaurant and I couldn’t accept because I was terrified of him seeing me eat. We ended up meeting in a bar where he ate what he wanted without squirming or worrying what I was thinking, I drank a lot of beer and didn’t eat claiming I wasn’t hungry. Our first date lasted 8 hours and when we parted I ran to McDonald’s and scoffed down 2 cheeseburgers I was so ravenous!! I’m working hard on my own body issues but it pisses me off that I have them in the first place. I know that men are ridiculed and coerced into shitty eating habits by the media and society too but there is already such a difference between the way my boys consume food compared to my girl. I am tired of dieting. I am tired of hating myself. I am tired of constantly wanting to change myself. I love food. Pasta is my best friend. Potatoes rock as do sweets and ice cream and I’m so miserable if I make myself go without. We HAVE to change the way we portray womxn and their relationship with food. We have to stop glorifying one body type over another. When I was younger I was bullied for being too thin, now I’m shamed for being too fat. No one type of body is better than another. Stop the shaming and comparing of bodies. #bodyshaming #allbodiesaregoodbodies #bodyimage #bodypositive #womxn

[feminastywomxn-blog]

If you’ve seen my #stories this past week you’ll have seen my open and truthful rollercoaster of emotions due to the increase of my #mentalhealth medication. I’ve been open and honest about my illnesses for about 7 years; started off with reposting supportive ally-style messages over on Facebook and then finally thought it was about time to be honest with myself and with my family and friends. It’s not always been easy and I’ve had a LOT of people think I’ve either done it for sympathy, as an excuse for my ‘moods’ and actions, for attention and had people tell me I shouldn’t be sharing that ‘shit’. I saw a post once that said “if you’re sick of seeing me post about my conditions, how do you think I feel living with them everyday?” And I knew I had to keep going because I knew how hard it had been to keep the extent of it to myself for almost 20 years. I wanted others to know and see they weren’t alone. I wanted people to see that this stuff CAN and DOES happen to young teens, and doesn’t discriminate against sexuality, bodily ability, age, gender, relationship status, where we live etc. I still get the same ‘how can you feel this way when you have a good husband and 3 amazing kids?’ and the answer is ‘I don’t know, but don’t you think I would change it if I could?’ It astounds me that we still get blamed for our #mentalillness - that we have to prove we’re doing things to work on it like healthy eating, #exercise #counselling etc and if we’re not then we probably deserve this mental pain right? Recovery is not, nor will it ever be linear. It’s a mess, an obstacle course, a rollercoaster. We’re not in control. We’re along for the ride. Sometimes it can be nothing that triggers our descent into #depression just like it can be nothing that triggers a #mania or even just a bad #mood You do you. If sitting in your pants watching Netflix all day makes your day bearable, do it. If having a laugh with your mates down the pub makes that shit week just that little bit better, do it. People will ALWAYS want to talk shit about you no matter what you do. It’s so hard to accept this, to know we can’t please everybody all the time, so PLEASE YOURSELF!

[feminastywomxn-blog]

Found this #article on #twitter via @pink_news It was published on @metro.co.uk by #transperson @travisalabanza - how the current #ukheatwave is affecting the #transgender #gendernonconforming and #nonbinary communities. Imagine having to think, then rethink and rethink what you can wear in this heat to suit others and to protect yourself! People are so scared of anything different that they can only comprehend someone outside of the male/female conforms with abuse and violence. The whole #bopo movement seems only to exist within the female community and that’s not good enough. There’s more colours to this rainbow of life and we need to acknowledge, accept and honour them all. If you’re out in public and can’t figure out someone’s gender, take this next step: DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT #lgbtqia #lgbtq #pride #transgender #transrightsarehumanrights #womxn #intersectionalfeminism #feminist #equality #transally

[feminastywomxn-blog]

Amazing opinion piece written for the @guardian online by @carysafoko of @levelup_uk #transrightsarehumanrights and we need to keep advocating and allying ourselves to the #transgender communities to ensure that they are safe, healthy, happy and free. The statistics of #violence against #trans people are awful and it ties in with the piece by @ashleemariepreston I posted the other day how black and POC #womxn are not expected to live over 35! I’m almost 35 and I feel my life is just beginning and I’ve not been persecuted, harassed, #bullied and made to feel abnormal anywhere near as much as those from our transgender #communities The #media NEEDS to stop inciting hatred and spouting vicious lies to ‘put the fear in people’ over someone who is just trying to live their life as their true authentic self. Seriously, what the F is wrong with people that they just don’t want others to be happy and safe?? I don’t get it. By basing their #exclusion “feminist” bullshit on hypothetical situations where men will pretend to be a womxn just to gain access for unsavoury purpose... YOU ARE TAKING AWAY FROM THE WOMXN WHO ARE ACTUALLY BEING RAPED, ATTACKED AND MURDERED BY MEN - 2 a week that we know of by their own partners. Those who identify as #female have the right to safety just as much as those who born with biological female parts. They are in so much danger in male oriented spaces. 12% of transgender people have been physically attacked at WORK. In public. Imagine what would happen in a changing room or toilet... Have some damn #compassion and thank your freaking lucky stars that you identify as the #gender you were born and haven’t had to go through even half the shit transpeople do. #sayhername #naomihersi #ally #intersectionalfeminist #intersectionalfeminism #feminist #feminism #equality

[feminastywomxn-blog]

Nobody should ever have to suffer in silence. . . . As a brand new #parent life changes so drastically and quickly, it’s something you can never prepare for. Your life is now determined by a crying poop machine and nerves are frayed to the last thread. It is so important to #communicate with your partner or anyone who can and will listen because #support is necessary and not weak. . . . Challenges arise at all points of #fatherhood not just the beginning; potty training, poorly #kids and temper tantrums, the #terribletwos the #threenagers the answering back #phase - it’s testing and it’s hard work. . . . Your #relationship with your co-parent will change and not always in good ways. Maybe there’ll be less sex and intimacy, maybe there’ll be more arguments than laughs, maybe you’ll disagree on #parenting style and #discipline or even over things like clothes and schools. This is all normal. What isn’t normal is ignoring that downtrodden, #depressed feeling you’ve been hiding. Resentment grows. Anger grows. . . . It’s possible to overcome #depression especially if it’s the first time you’ve experienced it, but it’ll never be possible if you don’t seek #help and #support - do the right thing by your #children if not for yourself and ensure you’re the best, most fun #daddy they could wish for #internationalfathersmentalhealthday #feminist #feminism #intersectionalfeminism #mentalhealth #mentalillness #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealthawareness #equality

[feminastywomxn-blog]

I am struggling with my #mentalhealth right now. I feel so unimpressed by myself, by life and I am back to hiding in my bedroom shutting everyone I love out . . . I am in a hateful mood. My aim is to hurt, wound. I’m not sure why or what my end game is - whether I want attention, for them to hurt like I do or to make them go away. But I’m being vile and while I know I’m doing it, I seem powerless to stop it . . . Tomorrow I am making an effort to change. I am taking this image and making it literal. Tomorrow I am starting a journal, one in which I am going to write letters to myself as though I were writing to a friend encouraging them to keep going through these shitty times. I’m not sure how it’s gonna go or how it’s gonna make me feel but it’s something I always say to others and so I’m taking my own advice . . . I’ll be sharing some letters and how I’m feeling over on my stories so feel free to join me and join in too! #stress #anxiety #bpd #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #depression #anger #mood #emotions #mentalillness #mentalhealthmatters #selfcare #therapy

[feminastywomxn-blog]

How do you feel about #labels ? . . . For me, they’ve always been important. They verify and validate things for me. Once something has a word, it becomes more real for me, something I am able to share with people in the hope they’ll understand me more. . . . I have fought for most of my labels, and they’re still denied or ignored or contested by others. . . . I know some people prefer not to be #labelled purely this or that, it’s all #personal preference. But if someone embraces being labelled ‘straight’ for example, then who are we to spew outrage when someone chooses their own #pronouns ? . . . Labels can #liberate make us feel included and #proud . . . What are your labels? Mine are she/her, #womxn #pansexual #cisgender #differentlyabled #mother #wife #ally

[feminastywomxn-blog]

OPEN YOUR EYES . . . A year on. A whole year. And the #government is still posturing like peacocks, caught in a #political playground where the game is to one up the opponent and the rest of us be damned . . . Social housing is dangerous. Deadly. And yet the waiting lists are astronomical because so many of our families in the U.K. have no other choice. The @conservatives have taken and taken without a second thought - our industry, our homes, our money, our lives. Now I’m not saying the U.K. was perfect before the #tories came into power but the only people benefiting from their reign of hatred is the upper echelons; the ones who can line the pockets of other big wigs. The poor are getting poorer; the #nhs is failing fast; the #foodbanks that were becoming so necessary and needed are closing due to a shortage of supply to meet overwhelming demand; our #mentalhealth and services are worsening. I could go on. . . . After the devastation that was #grenfelltower and the utter lack of emotion, care or respect from @theresamay we thought that maybe things would change. We were wrong. Blame being bandied around at the wrong feet. She’s right there - tell her how she’s failing you, our kids, us, them, everyone. . . . Something has to change in this country. We cannot continue being the ants to their #fatcats - disposable, slaves to the system. We need to rise. Make them see that without us this country would fall to its knees. That they need us more than we need them. . . . #fuckthetories #toryscum #grenfell #london #kensington #chelsea #huffpostuk #housingcrisis #housing #homeless #socialhousing #towerblock #neoliberalism #fail

[feminastywomxn-blog]

I am gutted I didn’t make the womxn’s #procession2018 but check out this from @killingvenusblog - not only did she represent, she took along the future of #feminism with her #mightygirls As a #suffragette in this modern world and raising my kids in the #feminist way it’s important for all to see and know that not only are #womxnsrights not equal but there are so many intersections feminism crosses that need to be met, that we cannot halt this fight We will march and fight on #intersectionalfeminism #womensrights #humanrights #transrights #feministkilljoy #feministfight

[feminastywomxn-blog]

Statistics from the #filmindustry have shown just how unequal the male/female divide is when it comes to dialogue Even in #movies with female leads, men are chosen to speak for us. You’d think that #disney hit Frozen would smash these statistics given the film is based around Elsa and Anna... nope! There was a 53/47% split rendering it almost equal So while #womxn may be represented on screen more nowadays, we are still not being heard In an industry as progressive as film you’d think they’d be leading the way with #equality but this goes to show that not only are females paid less, they’re hired less, asked to speak less, and this doesn’t even take into account the major inequality when it comes to #BAME and #POC as well as those with #disability #timesup it seems for a lot more than just the #genderpaygap

[feminastywomxn-blog]

Article about living on and claiming #benefits in #britain today . . . I don’t claim anything and don’t work, and I still am subjected to the ‘dole dosser’ tripe - that I’m too lazy to work, a ‘kept woman’ . . . Sometimes I’m well enough to leave my home, sometimes I HAVE to leave whether I’m well enough or not including doing the food shopping and picking up the kids from school. What people never see is the state I’m then in when I get home; they don’t see me in bed from 6:30/7pm dosed up on #medication and covered in #painrelief gel . . . They don’t see the texts I ignore, the kids being let down, the people I have to say no to continuously. They don’t see that I DO apply for jobs knowing full well I couldn’t physically cope because I’m so #scared and aware of other people’s opinions . . . I’ve always been taught to ‘put on a show’ when I walk through my front door. Leave the pain and the #depression at the front door and pick them back up on the way in . . . I’ve just spent almost 2 weeks pain symptom free(ish) and I couldn’t enjoy it because I felt like a fraud. I felt like I’d imagined the whole #fibromyalgia and #hypermobility saga of the past 6 years. I was scared that people had been right about me and I was just lazy and didn’t want to work . . . This government and media criminalisation of benefit applicants and recipients has to stop. Just look at the figures!! Benefit fraud is not as big an issue as tax evasion of the big wigs who hold the @conservatives in their pockets. Vilifying the wrong people, the #disabled the #sick and the #poor to smoke screen their own vile truth . . . #fuckthetories #humanrights #mentalillness #mentalhealth #disability #chronicpain #chronicfatigue #chronicillness #sickforlife #benefitbritain #benefits #dwp #government

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Tag your favourite ethical brands below #humanrights #feminism #feminist #intersectionalfeminism #fashion #ethicalfashion #fastfashion #news

[feminastywomxn-blog]

read all the pics . . . This is where I’m at right now. I am unemployed but because my husband works full time and earns JUST OVER the threshold for assistance (ignoring that we have 3 children), I am unable to claim any #benefits - this means I am eligible for my #prescription charges for both my glasses (without which I cannot see) and my #antidepressants anti #anxiety and #chronicpain medications. Without these, without doubt, I would be #hospitalised . . . I am now having to spread my medication dangerously thin as I can not afford to buy them every month. Yes there is a prescription card available but it is still yet another added, extra cost my #family will have to pay out because of my illnesses. My husband would never begrudge me my medication but not everyone is as lucky . . . When we make people choose between being sick or buying meds, it’s a #humanrights violation and lots more needs to be done about this

[feminastywomxn-blog]

Today I have not been the best. I had ideas of taking the #kids out for their last day off, eating healthier than I have done this past week and going to see my mum . . . I got dressed . . . I’m feeling really #anxious and #overthinking everything . . . I cried earlier over my weight as I worried about seeing BigKid’s teacher on Thursday as I know my first boyfriends wife will be there (she’s SO slim, her kids younger than mine and she teaches the excellence class BigKid has been in) I felt #guilty over being #unemployed when there’s no real reason for me to be right now, and felt worse after I browsed jobs that I had no clue how to do I felt crappy because I still don’t know what I want to do with my life, and decided that #university would be a huge waste of my time and money Berated myself over the lack of #housework I’ve done and the shitty mess we’re living in . . . All in all, I’m really hating on myself. I wish I could wake up tomorrow with #energy and #patience and unflappable #happiness - to just get off my arse, clean the house, get a job, get some exercise. I know the only thing standing in my way is me so what the hell???? #selfsabotage #anxiety #depression #blurt #mind #mentalhealth #mentalillness #bodyimage #negative

[feminastywomxn-blog]

So a lot of people will talk about the #empowering side of #comingout but we all know its just not that easy or fun . . . Unfortunately some people struggle to reveal their true identities and sexual preferences because of social #stigma from both friends and families . . . What I would tell you is that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. There is nothing wrong with you. You have a right to love yourself and whoever you love. Love is genderless, sexless and permeates SO much more than genitalia and appearance . . . If you are struggling with your #truth then please reach out. Please don’t live your life afraid of being out, being #proud and scared of what others think. If they truly loved and deserved you they would #support you no matter what . . . Be your true self. You owe it to your heart and your life. Because if you ain’t happy then what’s the point? #pride #pridemonth #loveislove #homosexual #transgender #bisexual #lesbian #gay #pansexual #asexual #trisexual #ftm #mtf

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Today is the first day of #pridemonth2018 . . . Here is little me; 19 years old and in my first serious #relationship - which happened to be with a girl . . . I had known I liked girls ‘like that’ since I was about 13 but never really said anything until after my first #samesex encounter at 14 . . . Coming out at catholic school wasn’t so bad. I got the name-calling, the threats and the girls thinking I was hot for them just cos I was #bisexual but I was lucky, I was never physically hurt or ostracised by friends . . . Coming out to my parents was horrific. I was kicked out and ignored. Even now - almost 15 years later, they refuse to acknowledge it was anything more than a phase, something I was coerced into, a fascination with a friend. I don’t know how they would’ve explained away me being in a #gayrelationship as an adult . . . I’m married to a man. I am still bisexual. I am open about my #sexuality if I want to be, if it’s safe for me to be so. I can pass for #straight and so the #harassment I received walking down the street hand in hand with my then #girlfriend isn’t something I experience anymore . . . I’m not sure if I’d feel comfortable being #gay where I live. I don’t think I’d feel safe. It’s sad that while we think we have progressed as an accepting society, I still don’t think we’re all the way there. There’s still a lot of #stigma and #homophobia that needs stamping out. . . . I’ll leave you with this thought, something I tell my kids all the time: we are only here for a short time, find what and who makes you happy and forget everyone else . . . What’s your #comingout story? #loveislove #love #pride #homosexual #pansexual #asexual #transgender

[feminastywomxn-blog]

Sometimes, time away with family is the best remedy . . . Such an incredible day spent at @legolandwindsor thanks to my amazing sister (by law) @z10mre . . . When life seems difficult and you find yourself stuck in a rut (for me it’s hiding at home) - just try to get out there. It’s not always a bad experience . . . I totally know that it’s easier said than done, but I also know it IS do-able . . . #anxiety #memories #mentalhealth #mentalillness #mentalhealthmonth #feminism #family #familygoals #youdoyou #pblogger #psblogger #fbloggeruk #mhbloggers #blog #blogger (at Copthorne Hotel Slough-Windsor)