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#[tw: talking ill of past leaders]
warsinmyhead · 1 year
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Rookie x Quartermaster: Tadashi and Jimin (Original Meme)
Dating:
Where was their first official date?
Germany after a mission. Shortly after the rookie agent pulled his "boss" into his room and kissed him, Tadashi asked about doing something together, given that Amelie wasn't around to interrupt and they didn't have to head back to Seoul HQ right away. Jimin eventually messaged Amelia from Germany's I.T. department and asked for good recommendations in the area. The pair probably did a more lowkey date since they got many quick service or casual places from Amelia, versus high end restaurants. That was fine for the pair as it was nice to unwind with drinks and bites away from the missions and prying eyes of their fellow agents and personnel.
What is their favorite date location?
I don't think there is one. Anywhere that isn't a mission or related to them nearly losing their lives. A more relaxed atmosphere without it being too ho hum.
How many dates before their first kiss?
0. Tadashi kissed Jimin after a mission they completed, realizing how jealous he got of a snooty socialite who was flirting heavily with Jimin thinking he was a cute valet/chauffeur she could poach. While it was a challenge to not break their covers, Tadashi managed to remain composed until they were safely behind closed doors of their hotel and took matters into his own hands.
Who asked who out first?
I think they said it at the same time after that kiss. Probably laughed a bit nervously and then Jimin made it clear that he did not want Tadashi to feel imposed, seeing as he was kind of a boss to Tadashi. The latter probably guided his lips back to his and said something about being very okay with this situation, quartermaster to agent relationship or not.
How many dates before they considered each other a couple?
I would guess 4-5 dates. Jimin doesn't want to assume anything and same with Tadashi too. I think maybe Tadashi would have let something slip if say another agent (Ex. Amelie) was teasing Jimin about almost hooking up with a socialite on the honeypot mission and Tadashi blurts out something to the effect of, "She can't have him, he's mine."
Friends:
How many mutual friends do they have?
5 – all from Kingsman in various branches.
Which one of their friends is most likely to get in between an argument between the ship?
Amelie or Briggs, maybe CJ (Agent Cham in Interrogation). But honestly I think the pair don't really fight per se. Amelie will quip that the two should just have hate sex and make-up (jokingly or seriously). Briggs and CJ are more likely to pull one of them aside to talk privately and explain things to the person they're speaking to in order to get the individual to see the light.
Which one has more friends?
Maybe Tadashi? Jimin lost connection with some of his college connections, due to the nature of his work or because they simply don't have anything in common anymore.
Which one has introduced the other to more people?
I'll give that equally to both. Jimin probably introduced more of the seasoned personnel at various Kingsman branches to Tadashi, while the latter maybe introduced the quartermaster to other people outside of work.
Did they start out as friends and made their way to a couple, or were they a couple almost right away?
It went from comical acquaintances, to figuring out they worked for the same company, and then working together when their divisions were very short-staffed. (Crawling under a table at a university and almost bumping into the seated quartermaster makes for quite the awkward, funny first meeting story when people ask.)
Arguments:
What do they argue about the most?
Maybe Tadashi giving into Amelie's light bullying of Jimin by calling him "Grandpa" or remarking he's a dinosaur trapped in the body of a 30 year old who get mistaken as a teenager all the time. As mentioned above, Jimin and Tadashi really don't fight per se, but in rare instances if Amelie and Tadashi push his buttons, Jimin might lose his cool and he'll lock himself in his office to calm down. Tadashi might come knocking and ask to talk it out, but it's better to let Jimin cool off and stew in private. Maybe there were times where Tadashi started to break protocol or character if someone not related to their mission (ex. another guest at the same event) starts showing interest in Jimin or Jimin having to play along with a guest's flirtations to keep the mission moving along and later they get annoyed at each other. (Tadashi because he doesn't like seeing other people running their hands all over his boss/boyfriend's body and Jimin for reminding the rookie to remain professional or risk all of them being captured or killed.)
How do they usually solve their disagreements?
They may give each other space to breathe for a moment. In very extreme cases, one may consult one of the individuals mentioned above for advice or to vent. Eventually they will meet face to face and talk calmly or find middle ground.
Do they argue a lot or not very often?
Not very often.
Who admits to being wrong more often?
??
Sex:
Who is more likely to initiate sex?
Great question, we haven't discussed that yet. I could see it going either way depending on the situation. Jimin isn't very forward, so maybe that will fall to Tadashi to make the first move or at least tell Ji to quit being a gentleman for once.
Do they prefer to do it in a bed, or do they prefer a chair, or perhaps the shower?  Maybe other spots?
Bed is definitely more comfortable for both. I could see Tadashi cracking the joke that maybe the reenact their first meeting but somewhere that isn't the university library, but Jimin's concern is Tadashi hitting his head on the underside of the desk or table since he's a giant.
Do they practice any kind of bdsm in the bedroom at all and if so, what kinds?
Again, not sure. Jimin's not a kinky sort of guy, so at best, maybe some blindfolds and light bondage? (At best I'm talking maybe a Kingsman tie or something soft being used, not handcuffs or something that could cause chaffing or marks.)
Who’s usually more dominant in the bedroom?
I kind of vote Jimin in this case? He's not opposed to being the bottom at times but everyone should have talked it out and agreed they were comfortable with the arrangement.
Lights on or off?
Depends on whether they're caught up in the moment or not.
Do they share any kinks?
??? Again this hasn't been discussed yet.
Does either one have any kinks that they don’t have in common with the other?
Jimin is into ball worship – if you fondle his, that's a pretty surefire way to get the guy to consider going further. (Albeit I could be wrong about Tadashi sharing the same interest, but that's the main one I have.)
Have they ever had sex anywhere public before?
I think both are a little sheepish or nervous about being caught. Closest would be somewhere with some privacy at work.
Who would be most likely to suggest bringing in a third person and who would that person be?
Absolutely not to this. Tadashi has made it clear that if he's with Jimin, he sees Jimin as his only. Jimin's not a fan of adding more people since that can make someone feel uncomfortable or jealous.
Cuddling:
When are they most likely to cuddle?
Post sex, maybe after a long day at work if they happen to be together for some reason. If Jimin's flighting the company jet back after a mission, I could see Tadashi sitting up in the co-pilot seat and maybe leaning his head on Jimin some way – whether that be using the top of the quartermaster's head to rest his chin on top of or maybe awkwardly craning his neck to lean on the quartermaster's shoulder. Maybe if in the off chance Jimin is working late in his office, Tadashi will stop by with food for both of them and will occupy the extra chair in the office, before throwing his arms around the quartermaster and watching him.
Where is their favorite place to cuddle?
Somewhere private and quiet.
Who’s usually the big spoon?
Tadashi
Do they cuddle often?
Not yet – we will have to see when that happens.
Marriage:
Are they married?  If not, is it something that could happen between them?
Not married. The discussion has come up yet. While Jimin's aunt and uncle aren't against same-sex marriage, his aunt might be a little confused about the arrangement and starting a family. (She's open to understanding though!)
If they are married, where did they get married at?  If not married, what is their dream wedding location?
Again the discussion hasn't come up yet.
If married, who proposed to who?  If not married, who would be more likely to propose to who?
Great question, I'm not sure. Maybe both had the same idea and got each other rings and once one of them plucked up the courage to ask, they both revealed they were carrying around rings for the other person.
If they are married, which one moved in with the other?  If not married, who would be more likely to move in with the other?
Maybe Tadashi? If he was on loan for an extended period in Seoul though. Because Jimin is tied to Seoul's headquarters, it's unlikely he would move into Tadashi's place in Japan for more than a few nights.
Children:
Do they have kids?  If not, would they consider having kids?
No kids. The conversation hasn't come up. Jimin isn't against the concept of it, but he knows with the nature of the business, one or both parents might not come home alive and he's hesitant to put any kids in that position.
How many kids do they have?  If no kids, how many kids would they want to have?
Again, see above.
What are the children’s names?  If no kids, what would they name their kids?
See first question in this section.
Random:
What are three random headcannons you have about the ship that are not related to romance or sex?
Jimin once shared with Amelie and Briggs that Tadashi was scouted during one of his early visits to Seoul after joining Kingsman in Japan. Before they started dating, the trio have a running joke about how many times each of the personnel have been scouted by talent agents for various entertainment companies. No physical money was put towards this due to anti-gambling laws in Korea, but Jimin was correct in assuming that Tadashi would get many more scouts trying to cast him for an entertainment company. (His early prediction was that at least 2-3 of the bigger companies would vie for Tadashi and he was correct – SM Entertainment, Starship Entertainment, JYP Entertainment, and even HYBE passed Tadashi cards at some point during his time in Seoul.)
There was a point where Tadashi was sent to Germany to shadow Amelia from the I.T. department to learn some basic understanding of that side of the organization. He may or may not have asked Amelia who she knew that he met so far at Kingsman and innocently asked if they too had to shadow her around.
"You joined at a better time than I did or Ji," Briggs confessed when Tadashi was in NYC for a meet and greet with the US division. "When Ji first started, Arthur was this uptight asshole who couldn't be bothered to learn your birth name if it wasn't a Western one. He had this crap rule where all non-UK/US personnel had to have an English name too to go by when at one of those branches. Jimin was called Jim when we first met – the original Lancelot called him Slim Jim." "So I would have to have an English name too if I had been with Kingsman at that time?" Tadashi asked. "Hmm, I don't know what I would have chosen. Jimin to Jim makes sense I guess. Oh um, Briggs, was Jimin-sempai always the quartermaster?" "How much time do you have?"
Which one is more likely to suggest getting pets?
???
Which one eats more snack foods?
Tadashi? Jimin really doesn't snack.
What is their favorite movie to watch together?
The topic of movies hasn't come up yet. Let alone outside activities or interests.
What is their favorite tabletop game to play together?
Again, this hasn't come up in discussion yet.
What are your three absolute favorite things about this ship?
The somewhat comical height difference, given that Ji's only 5'8" and Tadashi's a giant.
The fact that the pair are a bit similar in terms of having family raise them to be good people and maybe they are bit shy or reserved, in a cute, slightly awkward way.
Despite Jimin being more senior in the organization, it's nice to have someone fresh that offers a new perspective on things and isn't broken or jaded like some of the other personnel around him.
What is one thing you don’t like about this ship?
Both work for different branches and don't always run into each other, unless someone is on loan to another division. Additionally, Merlin has had to be careful with both SK and Japan relations outside of Kingsman sometimes running a bit tense. For the most part, the people within Kingsman are civil and try to see past whatever biases or judgements their home countries may have about others. (There might be a few old-timers who are a bit biased toward their home country, but rarely have there been fights or inappropriate things said or referred to about feuding countries.)
If you had to rate this ship on a scale of 1-10, what would you give it?
8/10
@sovrumana
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acronampy · 1 year
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You're about to die
Mikey(manjiro sano × reader)
TW death angst idk what else
(This was rushed ill prob make a part 2)
It was 6:30, way past the time you guys were supposed to meet up, and mikey came all bruised up and bloody in his gang uniform dirty and messy.
"Sorry (reader)..... the gang needed me." He chuckled, but you were mad, this wasnt the first time. He tried to joke his way out of this, but you were just done with his excuses.
"You promised this wouldn't happen again, mikey. I waited 2 hours. 2 HOURS. I'm going home" you said while gathering your things getting ready to leave the cafe.
"I told you I'm sorry! You should've just left in the first place instead of just waiting. A gang just suddenly approached us while we were having a meeting..!" Mikey says, getting a little mad."I was worried, you know! You weren't answering my calls, and I didn't know if you were okay and stuff. Of course, I would still be waiting. I'm gonna go now since I now know you were just in another gang fight when you had plans with me. " You completely pissed off, walking away from mikey to go home. He didn't even stop you. All he did was look at you and pout.
You couldn't believe how childish he can be sometimes. He's the leader of his gang toman, the gang that beat the black dragon?
You sighed and called emma to hang out and rant about how childish her brother is, and get her advice on this situation. She was already hanging out with hina, so you decided to tag along on their little slumber party at hinas. Packing your belongings, you get a call from mikey, but you didn't feel like answering, so you just left it ranging and went to hinas' place.
"Guys, can you believe how childish mikey is? I was worried and he wasn't picking up his phone! After 2 HOURS!! He comes all dirty with blood all over him!!" You ranting to them. "I get you! At least he showed up, Takemitchi never came to our anniversary date once. ANNIVERSARY!!" Hina says, getting pissed just remembering it.
You guys chatted, ranted, and did your usual things, then went to sleep. Talking to them calmed you down a lot, and you forgot why you were even mad at mikey for, so you decided that when you get home, you were gonna call mikey and apologize and go on another date. It was the afternoon, and the sun was setting. you decided it was time to go home. "Bye (reader). make up with my brother, He texted me talking about how depressed he is, lol!" Emma talks to you before you go home. "Thanks, Emma!"
While you were walking home, you felt someone come up to you and
You felt something sharp hit your back
It hurt. It hurts so much. The person who stabbed you ran away, and you couldn't see who it was. You sat down against the nearest wall to help ease the pain, but it didn't work. You tried pressing pressure against the wound it helped but it still hurt a lot. You started to have flashbacks and.. Mikey. Mikey came up in your mind.
Mikey was hanging out with takemitchi and draken, but suddenly he heard his phone ring. It was from you. his girlfriend, he picked up the phone in hurry not minding draken and takemitchi "hey mikey.." You say sounding really weak. "(reader)? Are you okay? What's wrong?" Mikey says worriedly. "Nothings wrong.. I just wanted to say sorry for getting angry at you yesterday...I'm sure you couldn't have helped it, haha. " you said while sounding even more weak
"I'm sorry too.. but what is this suddenly? Are you really okay?" Mikey sounding even more worried than before.
"Yeah, I'm okay.. really.... hey, uhm, mikey?"
"Yeah..?"
"I Love You"
You hang up.
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simplyreveries · 9 months
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hello hellooo new twst writing blog!! requests are open
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about me: well sorta kinda new??? ive had twst writing blogs in the past. you can call me maria, Ive been in the fandom since september of 2020. my favorites are malleus, silver, riddle, azul,,, deuce,, i love them all though its tough haha. Im a hs student aspiring something in the arts in the future for me!
links: masterlist (wip)
rules:
sfw only, i may accept tame, lightly suggestive things but that really depends on what the request is!!
no copy-paste asks
no major angst (like character death or cheating)
ill do familial/platonic stuff as well! not just romantic
^ ortho + grim will only be written as familial/platonic always!
I will write male and gn readers
If you’re not requesting dorm leaders/vice dorm leaders or a dorm, I have a 4-5 character limit for an ask!
i'll also write for chenya and neige, but it may be smaller because of limited info on them^^;
at the moment i'll only write headcanons, not full fics or anything like that
I know some people vary with how they tag it (like using CW) but when needed i'll tag anything potentially triggering as, TW:
i try to get requests out as often as i can! starting mostly with older requests first.
even if my requests are closed I’m perfectly fine with any twst talk like ideas or au’s
ill add more when needed and if you have any questions don’t be afraid to ask :)
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moon-child-cypher · 1 year
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Chapter 1 : ON
 BTS OT7 , OT7xYN , NamjoonxYN, SeokjinxYN, YoongixYN, HoseokxYN, TaehyungxYN, JiminxYN, JungkookxYN
TW: Mental illness, psychosis, depression, body dysmorphia, past bullying, casual sex, loss of relationship, violence, talk of weapons, blood
   As the leader of Bangtan , Namjoon felt the weight of his responsibilities to bangtan and he had felt it worse since you left. In a way, he was happy he had to focus on the others' well being . Somedays when his responsibilities felt heavier than others, he could lose himself in Bangtan and, for a moment, it would feel like things were how they were before everything fell apart. One thing he couldnt deny was that heartbreak had been an amazing motivator. Throwing themselves into their work Bangtan had gone from a small group of friends who knew how to get things done, to a feared syndicate with complex connections and a massive income.  Namjoon could sometimes convince himself that it hadnt been for you, it hadnt been so if he ever saw you again you would be so impressed that you couldnt say no to him. Couldnt say no to his brothers.
 Nothing prepared him for the day you showed up in their lives again. The usually composed Namjoon was a mess with you in the same room. He had walked into the boardroom for a financial meeting, one that would help secure their place as the underground kings of Seoul, and found you right away. You were sitting amongst the attendees, as though you being there was of no major circumstance. Sitting attentively as though you could just show up and be another name in a long list of faces . Feeling his stare you , nervously met his eyes, and he felt like his heart stopped beating. It was you, really you. Yes, in five years something about you had changed , but in that moment he would have done anything for you and you knew it. He had almost forgotten the rest of Bangtans appearance until he heard them shuffling in behind him and he began to panic. He swore he fell in love with you more when your eyes softened in understanding at his sudden panic. Of course he still seemed cool and collected on the surface, but you knew better.
Yoongi had spent his life hiding his feelings, except for with you. Always cool and collected, thats what got him this far in life and Bangtan. When others were motivated by emotion, and ethics, Yoongi was cold facts and logic. You had seen through thst though. You always told him that when you looked in his eyes , you saw a deep pool of emotions that you wanted to drown in. He had showed you affection to the best of his abilities and you had seen them for what they were and on a rare occasion held him while he wept. Not wanting to talk about it, not wanting an explanation, just offering absolute understanding. He went numb after you left, it wasnt safe to feel those emotions, the world would burn and he had been having enough trouble keeping Hoseok under control. He never gave up hope that you would return , though. Worked relentlessly to build an empire with Bangtan hoping that one day when youd come back you would join them again. Everything he did was for you and Bangtan knew that, they didnt stop him because they felt the same. He wondered sometimes, if their loss of you, was the only thing they had in common anymore. Not that it mattered, since it had been working well for  them.    Today he was grumpy. He had been up all night going over blueprint after blueprint and was still expected to attend the meeting. Pretty useless, as all the paperwork would end up on him and Namjoons desk to go over , this meeting could have definitely been an email. He kept his eyes trained on the back on Namjoons head and followed him into the room where he would be bored to death for whatever duration it took, but Namjoon seemed eager to leave as well and he took that as a good sign. Hoseoks sudden tense on walking the room sent Yoongi immediately on alert. He has a moment to wonder to himself if Hoseok or their business  partners would be a bigger threat before he locked eyes with you , and before he could fully register that it was you he felt like he was drowning.
 Hoseok had in his own way taken your absence the hardest. Growing up his life had been spent in one mental hospital or another. His craving for violence , his paranoia were enough for his parents to abandon him as a ward of the state at 15, in the end he had aged out of these homes and met Namjoon, who saw a use in his unique set of skills and outlook on the world. Beginning only as Namjoons body guard , he now was in control of a small army with a special gift for violence who knew how to get things done and Hoseok had found happiness, but he found contentment when you walked into their lives. It was almost as though your presence had made all the voices go silent.  As if all the voices were in absolute awe of your presence and didnt dare speak unless spoken too. You were the first one to make him feel human in his whole life. You had said that he had an adaptation to his reality, not a malfunction , and that he was still worthy of love and respect like any human. Up until you the only respect he had experienced was at the cost of his bloodlust. His fellow Bangtan members loved him, of course, but they still saw him for what the rest of the world saw and always had a trace of fear behind their eyes. Not you though.
  When you had left he had seen to it that the world would burn. Every person who betrayed Bangtan, every time someone crossed his path, was paying for your absence. Part of him was punishing the world because he couldnt punish you, not that he would any ways. He was unstoppable because what could hurt more than you abandoning him, right? Nothing scarier than a man who isnt afraid of dying and more often than not Hoseok had hoped he would make one wrong move, that someone would finally stop his reign of terror, because the voices would stop . They talked about you a lot, they also talked about his Bangtan family. The voices told him that they could see right through him, and it made sense because they never made a move to stop him. He did sometimes wonder what you would think of him now. He knew youd be scared of him , of who he had become, but he would silently remind himself that he did it for YOU.
  The voices had been particularly annoying today. He was itching to get on the field, do what he did best, but instead he had to attend a board meeting with Namjoon as his protection and a founding member of Bangtan. He just had to make it through this meeting and he would be left to his own devices, he expected a particularly trigger happy evening for him and his army. He walked behind Namjoon taking in every detail, every possible security threat. There was a heavier defense sytem in this building , he noted, if things went wrong Hoseok would have the chance to take out his frustrations in order for them to  escape. Namjoon stopped just inside the doorway and froze, sending Hoseok into attack moden for a moment. Was Namjoon hit? Was there danger in the room? After taking a quick glance at Namjoon seing no obvious injuries, he scanned the room. That's when he locked eyes with someone and the voices stopped.
 To anyone who knew anything about Bangtan, Jin was the glue that held them together. In a group of unloved boys who came together to build this life together, Jin offered a quiet understanding and a warm  home.  You had said that he served as such a master manipulator for Bangtan because he had an unbiased, deep understanding of people,even strangers. You can't use peoples thoughts and emotions against them unless you truly understand what motivates them, you had said. He believed you because that is what you had always offered him just that. From your small nods and warm smile after a tough mission, or taking the role as caretaker of Bangtan when he felt his exhaustion deep in his bones. He hadnt connected with anyone on any level since you left. Why bother? He was a master of being ingenuine, even attempting to open up to someone he wouldnt know what to believe what he was really feeling. But you, you understood with just a look and that's what he needed. Surprisingly his lack of his own emotion helped him even further understand others emotions. He was a blank slate and he was a projection of those around him.
That was why it was important he attended this meeting. Namjoon needed to know if they had any ulterior motives, if they were trying to trick them into losing money. What Namjoon and the others had never said is this one just one more step to giving you the life you deserved when you returned. He felt the shift as soon as they entered the room and automatically began to assess the situation and then he was looking at you as he was hit with guilt, surprise, hurt and most of all, love.
Taehyung had been dfferent his whole life. From the time he was old enough to play with the kids at the park they bullied him, knowing he wasnt quite like them so he must be weak, right? Wrong. He grew up to be devilishly handsome and with that his odd tendencies were labelled cute quirks. His past still shaped him , though. Seeing the cruelty of people, even at such a young age he recognized it was human nature. Taehyung felt emotions deeply, maybe too deeply, but it served him well as the secret keeper of Bangtan. See , anyone and everyone loves to talk, especially about themselves. All he had to do was flash a smile and lend an ear and a few careful questions and people were ready to tell him everything. It all went straight to Namjoon of course , and he mosty stuck to the shadows, only making public appearances with Bangtan when necessary. His charm never worked on you. You had told him he was beautiful , and that there was something about him that made it easy to open up to him. But you were naturally a genuine person, especially with him. 
When others blew off his personality, the way he dressed, and his words, you looked at him like he was a piece of art. You once told him a day with him did more for the heart and mind than any art ever could. He had scoffed at that , because, how could any piece of art, any piece of music, any natural wonder measure up to you? Their love had been like something out of an old movie. Slow dancing to old jazz records in his room, reading to eachother poems that only conveyed a fraction of the love that they had felt for eachother. 
When you had left, Taehyung had disappeared back into his shell. There's only so many side eyes and remarks one can make before it wears away at oneself. He still found himself saving songs from old vinyls and poems ripped from books for you to enjoy when you came back. Outwardly, to anyone who didnt know better, Taehyung had become cold. While in the past he used warmth, and flirting to get people to talk, he now opted for intimidation and cruelty. He had become the bully and you would have hated that for him. 
He hadnt wanted to go to this meeting, even before he saw Bangtan eye his green suit up and down. He didnt need them to be picking him apart, that was his job, and his patience was low today. Walking along with his brothers he kept himself amused by humming a jazz song he had discovered on a vinyl he had found in the back of some vintage store or another. It was soft and bright, like you, but inside he felt deep and sorrowful . The sudden stop off Hoseok had him bumping into him and jumping back. He could feel Hoseok itching for combat and it was putting Taehyung at unease , he didnt want to be the target of Hoseoks rage today. Taehyng quickly looked around to see what would cause Hoseok to be so careless, who was going to be the subject of his wrath and then he saw you. Like the greatest treasure at any museum, like the grandest orchestra , there you were.
 If lust had a physical embodiment, it would be Jimin. He  just oozes sex to men and women alike , and knew how to use it to get what he wanted. Jimin always had a taste for the finer things in life, always wanting more. When he had met Namjoon he had already been living a gluttoous lifestyle, but Namjoon made him realize he had a talent that could be utilized for something bigger, greater. Whole empires have been brought down because of sex, and Jimin wanted to build an empire on it. While he had grown soft and affectionate towards his members over the years, others would describe his gaze as hawk-like, like a predator zooming in on ikts prey. YN had never seen that, she saw right through him. To late nights hiding under the covers, memorizing every curve and imperfection of eachothers bodies you were the first actually intimacy he had ever experience. He thought arousal had equated intimacy until you, how a single peck on the forehead could leave him powerless to you.
When you left Jimin had tried to convince himself that his long list of high profile one night stands were for work, but he eventually had to face the music and realize it was intimacy he was craving. Taehyung, as odd as he was, seemed to understand this, and would quietly hold his hand or grab his thigh affectionately under the table when he could. This didnt help, he appreciated it, but it just made him feel like he was more alone. A steady sex life had proven to be very lucrative to Bangtan, but he felt so alone.
Jimin had left a lover in his bed that morning to join the boys at a meeting. Jimin felt the need to complain, to hide his relief that he wouldnt have to see the stranger off, someone else could take care of that. As they walked in the building, immediately a group of secretaries were whispering behind their hands about him and he flashe them his most seductive style. Just like that he had them, he would have to remember their faces for when they were done with the meeting. He couldnt resist himself and flashed a smile at an especially flustered man in a three piece suit. Jimin had him right where he wanted him and it wasn too easy. Jimin strutted into the room thinking about all the possibilities with these coworkers but his steps failed him and his cockiness left him as he saw you. Then, with one quick moment of eyecontact, he knew you couldnt leave because you were all he ever needed.
Jungkook hated his smile, his bunny teeth making him look even younger than he already was, and as the youngest he didnt need to be reminded of that. You had loved his smile , which worked out well because you were the major source of it. Jungkook knew his weapons, he had turned his body into his biggest weapon with an unhealthy excercise routine but the most deadly weapon in his world was your laugh. Jungkook  never had a great body image, you later suggested body dysmorphia, and you were the only one he believed ever liked his body. He couldnt look in the mirror and see what everyone else saw. That's why when you left he became obsessed with perfecting himself as a weapon. The burn and exhaustion gives him something to focus on instead of your laughter. At first the memory of your laugh was the only comfort he found, then in his mind it became mocking, telling him he was worthless. That was bad but not as bad as when he forgot what it sounded like all together. You never treated him as the baby of the group but as an equal and he almost believed it. You two were a sanctuary from the reality of thet lifestyle, laughing until your stomachs hurt and sharing memories of his hyungs and sharing the secret knowledge that all of them were secretly the  most amazing generous people you  knew. But now he was just the baby again, talked down on,not respected , no matter how much he worked out and built his strength.
This morning he had a moment in front of the mirror and thought of what you would think of him now, what would you think of the empty shells Bangtan had become? None of it mattered without you here, and why do they keep pretending that it did? Jungkook was the last one to enter the room. This was related to a shipment of weapons and that was his line for bangtan, but one of his hyungs could have taken care of it , he felt particularly ugly today but straightened his back, and walked in. Immediately he noticed his hyungs freeze and was alarmed by such an intense set of emotions that these usually well composed men were feeling and so he followed their gaze and there you were. He felt himself deflate, and relaxed his stance when your eyes met and couldnt help but smile the first genuine, full bunny teeth smile that he had in years.
 You knew logically that they were going to be there, of course they had to be there, but nothing had prepared you for this. They had betrayed you, you shouldnt have any more emotional connection to them, you owed them nothing, but then why was this so hard? You had left Bangtan and started a new profession in a new place the honest way, but years of living with bangtan you could no longer afford your lifestyle on an honest job salary so that's how you ended up in weapons deals. You purposely didnt keep track of the boys, as they hurt too much to think about. Youre only clue of just how big and successful they had gotten recently when you had been informed about your purpose foe this meeting . Your boss had taken your hesitance as concern about getting involved with Bagtan and reassured you that your name would not be connected to them on paper but he had no idea how connected you already were to them. They would know now from the way the seven boys honed on you and were now staring at you. You had tried to blend in the crowd of seats but that had been unsuccessful. The worst part of it all is as soon as she saw them she felt the pain of being in love with these men all over again.
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alyjojo · 2 years
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Past Life ☯️ Karmic Spread February 2023 - Aquarius
Gender I’m Picking Up On (in the past life): Female
Who You Were: 2 Swords, 5 Swords, Strength, The Moon
What You Did: The Hanged Man, Ace of Swords, King of Wands, 9 Swords
How It Ended: 5 Cups, The Fool rev, 10 Wanda rev, The Empress
What Karma Was Brought With You: 9 Wands, 4 Swords & The Hermit
Who You Brought With You: 6 Pentacles, Queen of Pentacles, 10 Pentacles
Additional energy: The Emperor, Page of Swords, Temperance
Past Life Oracle: High Priest or Priestess, Spirituality and Religion
Dreaming Way: Scythe, Book, Ship
Charm:
Heart ❤️ on The Empress
Fox 🦊 on Scythe
TW: most of these are difficult. Yours was very difficult to experience, and I had to stop and research some of these things, trying to gauge *where specifically* you might have been, to no avail, no one thing stood out to me more than another, maybe it wasn’t a notorious one, or one that drew a lot of attention, but you were part of a cult. Maybe there is one you resonate with in some weird way now. I also had to ask separately if this was you or your parents. It was you, but it was more your husband. I do get that person was your divine match. At the end of your life, you were pregnant, and happy it was ending, because you didn’t want a child to be here, or go through whatever this cult were doing. I don’t think anyone else knew you were pregnant. Your death was something in retaliation to you acting out recklessly, knowing that would be what’s coming to you, whatever it was specifically, was on purpose. You may have done this yourself, as an act against this group. Heart on The Empress describes this ending, it was an act of love & sacrifice. Children aren’t mentioned specifically, but you knew it wasn’t safe, or good for them. You weren’t born into this, but you were young when you joined, and met your husband there, he was a big part of everything going on. Not *the* leader, but very much a trusted part of things. You may have been an age that would be considered a child when this started, a teen, 15-17.
Who you were as a whole in your entire existence, was intelligent enough to know better, but too afraid to speak up. Not to people within or out. I’m getting it wasn’t as bad when it started, or when you came, or maybe you just didn’t know, but as time went by, you started seeing more and more cruelty, justified by beliefs you eventually knew to be “crazy”. Scythe, Book, and Ship show you learning your lesson, you realized how terrible this all was, and you wanted to escape. The Fox 🦊 on Scythe shows you had been tricked by a clever devil (or several) with ill intent, and you eventually figured that out, but were too far in, so you felt. You’ve brought that dynamic with you in this life, and will or already have undoubtedly met with something shady that triggers these kinds of imprints and soul memories in you, a clever and smooth talking deceiver, probably a person but could be a whole group, and this time you’ll walk away, and may not even understand how you know you have to, it’s pure intuition. This could even be something in this life that you’ve experienced some kind of divine intervention with, a very intense wake up call, that you can’t really explain or people wouldn’t believe.
In the past life, you didn’t escape, because you couldn’t. 8 Swords shows you as trapped and helpless, and you never even told your husband your feelings, because he was on board 100%, he was one of them, and you knew if you left you were also leaving him. You stayed, and lived a quiet and privately tortured life among everything that betrayed your heart, beliefs, and what you knew to be right…but felt powerless to stop. Whew 😰
What you’ve brought with you is divine protection from this same sort of situation, and you’re just tired. In your soul. 9 Wands & 4 Swords, you are extremely cautious when it comes to personal relationships with anyone period, you prefer to just be alone, you know you can trust yourself. You’re a very guarded person, cautious and skeptical, and do not trust others. You may have dealt with difficult illnesses, break-ups, or even have lost people due to painful illnesses or injuries. Soldiers, police, fighters of some kind. Or because of them. If so, more than one.
Who you’ve brought with you are both very positive. A Queen of Pentacles, all earth signs are represented in this row, any of them, or they’re more than one sign even, very earthy, practical. This person is generous, kind, would give you the shirt off of their back sort of personality, they’ve provided a lot of stability in your life. Probably a family member, or they could be work related, if so the bond *feels* deeper than just your average person, you know each other on a soul level. You’ve also brought your husband, who I don’t know if you’re romantically linked to, but is someone you talk to. Or they watch you, maybe they like you, idk the genders or specifics in this life. You’ve made peace with them, and they’re around you, literally, in some way. Temperance is reconciliation…I asked who they were and got 4 Wands. You live with them, or have before. You could be with them now, 4 Wands is a stable relationship. This past life feels very recent, compared to most. I just don’t know where, maybe you’ll resonate with something on your own.
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introvert--weeb · 3 years
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Hello! I dont know if you still do requests, but ill ask just in case.
Can I ask for a tokyo revengers x gn! Reader? (pLEASE MAKE IT PLATONIC)
So basically, reader is this fearless, calm person. Reader isnt particularly strong or sporty nor are they good academically(is thag how u spell it)
Prompt : Reader is Mikey's and Baji's childhood friend.
Reader meets them again in coincidence and tries to cactch up and feels inferior due to their somewhat success? And then reader meets the other members.
Also bonus if mikey and baji is lowkey scared of reader
ALSO BONUS BONUS IF THE OTHER MEMBERS SEES MIKEY AND BAJI AFRAID OF READER
Thank you :]]
Hey!
Of course I can do this!! I love the idea!
Thank you for requesting and I hope you enjoy the end product! Also, I'm so sorry for how long it's taken me to get this out! 😭❤️
--
Mikey, Baji with childhood friend!reader (ft. Toman Captains, Vice Captains)
TW: mentions of feeling inferior, friendly violence (boys getting kicked)
--
There had always been a third. Every great group consisted of a trio, mainly two boys and a girl. And this was no exception.
When Mikey and Baji were young, learning at the Sano Dojo together, they had met a girl. This girl was decent at karate but not on their level. What had started out as teasing the small girl had quickly developed into a friendship. You were the one needed to reign these two boys back in.
You were not known for being strong like Mikey and Baji, and you weren't particularly academically smart. In fact, a word that would best describe you was average. You didn't excel in any area except maybe some people would call you cute. But you feared nothing, not even a fight against someone twice your size. You faced every challenge in your life with a calm mind and calmer attitude.
All throughout your childhood, you would follow the two boys around and cause chaos that only children could get away with. But eventually, you had stopped attending the Dojo. Next thing you knew, you were in middle school and had lost contact with the duo. It was heartbreaking when you thought about it. You were all so close but time had taken its toll on that friendship.
Years had passed since you had seen the two boys. In no time, you were a 3rd year at Mizo Middle and deciding what you wanted for your future. It was too early to come to a decision in your mind but your parents had insisted that the earlier you decided, the better.
School had ended and you were already planning on hanging out at the riverbank to clear your mind. After all, it was a Friday and your homework could wait for now. The walk to the destination was calm enough, having parted from your friends half way due to differing destinations.
Once you had reached the grassy bank, you threw your bag and settled yourself besides it, paying little to no attention to what was happening around you. If you were, you may have noticed a familiar pair of boys relaxing a little way from where you flopped down.
Mikey had noticed you first, asking his friend if he thought you looked familiar. Sure, it had been a couple years but you hadn't changed that much. Your hair was still the same except a little longer, your eyes still held that childlike wonder in them although it had been dulled, and the way your body positioned itself was the exact same. Baji looked over as well and almost instantly knew it was you. The missing part of their trio.
"Hey! Y/N!" Why was someone calling your name? Feeling a. little irritated that your peace was being disturbed, you glared over in the direction of where the voice had come from. However, once you caught sight of two familiar boys, the glare softened and a small smile tugged at your lips. It was them.
Baji and Mikey stood to their feet and made their way over to where you sat, grins pulling at both of their faces. All of you spoke about what had happened over the years. How you were attending Mizo Middle and knew of Takamichi and his small group of friends. Baji explained how he had been held back a year due to his grades but had met a boy named Chifuyu through it. And Mikey explained how he created Toman, a biker gang that consisted of 50 loyal members.
You couldn't help but feel inferior while you listen to the boys explain their lives. They were spending their youth as it should be, having fun and surrounded by people they care about. While you were simply floating through life, taking everything as it comes.
The boys expressed their desire for you to meet the rest of Toman, wanting to introduce you back into their lives. After all, it would be good to have the trio together again.
Mikey had decided to meet everyone at the park the next day. He had taken your number at the river bank so he simply text you the details along with everyone else. Thank God it was a Saturday so you had no obligations to school and the like.
Since you were meeting new people, you decided to at least dress up a bit. So a pair of jeans, a nice t-shirt and sneakers was your go to. Casual yet didn't look like you just rolled out of bed. Once ready, you checked the message again to confirm the location and time within your own mind.
It didn't take you long to reach the park. In fact, you were 10 minutes early so you decided to play a game on your phone to pass the time.
"Waiting long, Y/N?" The familiar voice of Mikey snatched your attention away from the mobile game. Shutting the game and shoving the device back into your pocket, you looked up to find a small group of boys with Mikey and Baji front and center. Once they reached you, the introductions began.
As the day went on, you all decided to sit in the field to properly talk. You sat besides Baji and a boy you now knew as Chifuyu. It was all going great, the conversation was flowing with very little awkward moments. That was until Mikey and Baji had brought up on thing.
"I remember when Y/N couldn't even land a kick properly!" Baji laughed, memories of his childhood friendship coming to light to the group. Mikey chuckled, seeming to also remember.
You couldn't believe that the boys had just said that in front of their friends. Sure, you had a time where you couldn't kick properly but you were new to Karate and hadn't spent as much time as them two practicing. Your gaze turned to the culprits, face calm yet eyes giving a warning that they ignored.
"You want to see how well I can kick now, huh?"
Mikey and Baji couldn't help to feel scared of your calm words. They had forgotten how scary you could get when provoked, obviously omitting that from their fond memories of you. Their facial expressions changed from amused to fearful as their own gazes moved to your face.
In no time, you were chasing the pair as they ran away from you, threats about how you would 'give them firsthand experience at how good you could kick'. Mikey and Baji, although scared of you, couldn't stop the laughter as memories from the past filled their minds. It would always end up like this.
The rest of Toman couldn't believe how scared their leader and First Division Captain was of you. Mikey, the boy who would take on anyone, was scared of a girl that wasn't even part of the gang life? And Baji as well? Chifuyu was the first one to laugh, followed quickly by the rest.
Having proved your point finally, the trio joined back with the group. Draken and the others had taken to teasing the boys over being scared of a kick but they didn't know just how hard it was. Baji and Mikey were wary of what they said from that point on.
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bastart13 · 3 years
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Unfortunately I couldn’t help but think through a few ironic implications of Portia’s Reversed ending
Fic below the cut
[1.5k words, tw character dying, set in Portia’s Reversed ending so spoilers]
A decade or so after their story ended
Isha let their head fall back with a rattling, haggard sigh. They closed their eyes, letting the gentle rocking of the docked ship lull their heart into a calm pace. It was almost enough for them to forget their troubles if it wasn’t for the sharp aches in their hip or the sheer effort it took to take a breath.
They’d never been good at listening to their own discomfort. They’d lived with discomfort all the life they remembered, whether it be from minor inconveniences with their arm, or the ever-present fatigue since magic left their world. But now, their body screamed at them everything they’d been trying to ignore. Everything they’d kept from Portia.
A chipper, rhythmic knocking on the door took them out of their thoughts. Despite everything, Isha couldn’t help but smile.
“Welcome back,” they called.
The door swung open with no hesitation as their wife bound into the room. Her sunny smile lit up the room, emphasising the wrinkles around her mouth and eyes. A true smile, reserved for Isha and their children alone. She kicked off her worn boots, shutting the door behind her as she waltzed over to the bed.
“I’ve been missing you,” she teased, leaning in for a quick kiss. “We should be ready to undock soon. Jasna’s grown up to be a fine bosun. I swear, soon they’ll be rigging the boat with their hands tied behind their back just for the challenge. Right after we—”
Portia’s eyes locked onto their bedside table. A half-finished tankard of beer sat over an unfamiliar note filled edge-to-edge with scrawling ink. Her eyebrows tensed, frowning.
“Was Ilya here?”
“Yes, he just left,” Isha said. “He was sorry he couldn’t stay to see you, but he needed to get back to his partner before dark.”
“Did he at least squeeze in a ‘hello’ to his nieces and nephews?” she asked, her voice lightening to a dangerous cheer. Isha shook their head, looking back to the note.
“No…”
They needed to tell her.
He’d written everything she’d need to know but she didn’t deserve to hear it from Julian’s letter.
Portia stroked through their dull curls, pushing them away from their face before gently cupping their cheek.
“Are you feeling better from this morning?” she asked.
Isha took a short, weary breath.
“I’m not well, Portia,” they said softly. “I went outside for some fresh air this afternoon, when I ran into Julian and I had one of those attacks. He helped me back to see what was wrong and it’s getting worse.”
Hurt flickered across her expression before she slapped on a determined smile.
“But he told you how to treat it, right? That’s what the note is. I know we’re charted to sail down the Strait of Seals but if we don’t have what you need or the cold would be too much, we can change course,” she reassured, picking up a pace with no intention of stopping. “And look on the bright side! Now Ilya’s seen you, we might be able to get you back on your feet. You’ve been feeling low for a while now, think of all the places we can visit once you’re better. You can get back off the ship and travel inland. I’ve heard it’s really settled down in the north and I’d love it if we could visit Sun lake again—”
“There’s nothing to treat it,” Isha asserted, but Portia barrelled past.
“—And if we’re passing through Galbrada we can meet back up with Lavi. In his last letters, he was so excited about his travels—”
“I’m dying.”
Portia’s voice cut out.
The ship creaked and drummed with the distant movement of the crew above deck but to them, the quiet hung in the air like a dense fog.
“You’re not dying,” she insisted, the shine in her eyes fracturing. “You’re not dying, you’ll be okay,” she repeated. “I’m the Ambassador of Vesuvia! Along with Prakra, we’re one of the most powerful cities in the land and I have ships in every port in the five seas, loaded with imports. Ilya just must not know what we have access to. Even if—if you’re as ill as he says, we can find a cure. He could look again o-or we could go to Nazali. I know they’re older now, but they’ve trained so many medics, and if that doesn’t work, I know the leader of Urdangabil. They’re one of the leading pioneers of new medicine and if I look through my silvered book, I’m sure I can find something to get her to—”
“No.” Isha gripped Portia’s hand, staring deep into her eyes. Their gaze softened, their care hurting her more than any blade. “I’m dying, Portia
She frantically shook her head, her lip quivering.
“Don’t say that.”
“I’ve been dying ever since the magic left.”
“You’re not going to die! You’re going to be okay…”
“I was never going to live that long. It was borrowed time.”
“You told me you were okay!” Portia sobbed. There was nothing else she could say. She broke.
Pearly tears streamed down her cheeks and she collapsed into Isha’s embrace. She gripped their nightdress, holding onto them like a drowning woman to driftwood. Helpless sobs wracked through her body and Isha held onto their wife in return, gently rubbing her shoulder with their stump. It felt unfair. They were still so warm. Their heart beat the same reassuring patter as whenever Portia curled up against their chest. How could they… How…
But she knew how. She knew why and the thought only made her choking cries harsher.
“I’m sorry…” Isha said softly. “You deserved to know sooner… I wasn’t okay.”
Their chest grew wet from Portia’s tears and they only held her closer.
“It’s… gotten worse over the years,” they explained. “The first few were just this tiredness, but then my headaches came back. Tiredness became exhaustion. I felt… hollow. Like I was using myself up from the inside with every breath and step. It wasn’t until Julian saw me that I recognised it… You know me; I’m useless at asking for help.” They tried for a smile, even if Portia couldn’t see it. “I’m thankful every day I didn’t put that promise in my vows.”
Her crying hitched with a hysterical laugh before slamming her fist against their chest.
“STOP IT!” she yelled, her voice cracking. “J-Just stop it… Stop being s-so stupidly calm! How can y-you just—just accept this?! We’ve done so much… so much… All together. How could I have missed it? I have secrets on every city’s leader. I have ears and eyes everywhere. How—How didn’t even know my own spouse was d-dying!”
“I didn’t know,” Isha whispered, “and I didn’t tell you. It’s not your fault.”
“But it is! You know it is more than anyone. I was the one who chose to kill Aunt Tasya! I could have talked to her. I could have done anything to convince her, I could have…" She stilled under Isha’s arm. Tears dripped from her wide, unfocused eyes.
Moving like a stiff puppet, she fell out of their embrace.
“...The Arcana,” she whispered, the words barely leaving her lips. “I know Asra looked into it and found nothing… but that was just the first year. We have access to so much more… That’s it. I… I could try and call on them. On the other world. Even on—”
Portia jolted out of her daze with Isha’s iron clasp around her wrist and their amber eyes boring into her with a fire she hadn’t seen in years.
“You can’t,” they ordered. “Whatever happens, you can’t repeat Tasya’s mistakes. When we killed her, we accepted the consequences, and I don’t regret it. I can’t let you fall down that path. No matter what happens to me, you need to remember that. I’m not saying you can’t grieve, but you have to let me go.”
More tears welled up and rolled down her cheeks. Isha let go of her wrist, reach up to hold her face and brush them away with their thumb.
“You’ve done everything you can for me and more,” they said.  “You’ve given me a goal, friends, a family. It means more than I could ever say, and I’m glad I’ve had this time with you, but it was always a half-filled hourglass.” They inhaled sharply, their chest suddenly feeling too empty until they breathed through the pain. Their eyes fell closed as they rested their forehead against Portia’s. “I’ve died once before. I don’t remember anything about the life I had before it, but as hard as it is, I know it’s different this time. I don’t want to die. I’m scared. I hate upsetting you. I want to see our children grow up and know the lives they’ll lead. But I’ve accepted it. I can’t ignore it or put it off.”
They pulled back with burning eyes and a tight throat.
“You’ve made my life worth more than I ever thought it could be. I love you, my light. Thank you for loving me.”
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mayhemfics · 2 years
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Kylo Ren x Chronically Ill reader.
This is a bit of a self indulgent fic, I deal with alot of bone pain,fainting spells and temporary paralysis in my legs, so im just using this fic as a bit of an outlet. (NSFW stuff coming soon dw)
Anywho! ALSO THIS IS BASED ON MY EXPERIENCE, PLEASE KEEP THAT IN MIND
Tw: angst, breakdown, internalized ableism,
_______________________________
Waking up to the familiar feeling, well lack there of, in your legs was somthing you had gotten used to over time. You grabbed your cane as you despratelty tried to stand to get ready for the day.
As per-usual Kylo was already gone for the day, or else you would have asked him for assistance, too embarrassed to ask anyone else. Your force strength was only strong enough for communication or else you'd use that too.
You managed to get to the closet before supporting yourself got too much. As you managed to get yourself safely into the floor, you begin trying to find what you could possibly try to get on that wouldd be easy enough. Your usual suit was far to hard, you grab a black romper and long red vest and hoped that would do.
Not much was on the agenda for today, just supervising new troopers in training.
The First order had been more than accomodating for you, making sure the route you took had minimal stairs, keeping your scheduled locations close together, though no one side from Kylo and Hux had seen you with a mobility aid such as your cane or Walker, You and Hux both feared that the first order would see you as defective
"No one would have a decrepit leader, it's too shameful to look at", Hux's words exact.
And to a degree you agreed with him, you felt as off you were helpless not being able to move and being in constant pain. Not to mention sometime outright fainting out of the blue, you couldn't help but feel that your people deserved better.
Almost an hour had past and you needed to leave then or else you wouldn't make it in time, legs had still minimal strength now but an aid would still be needed. You decide to Force connect with Kylo to see what he suggests
"Hello M'love, is everything going alright?" He answers, with a warm joyous tone
"No, not exactly...." You voice in a quiet, panicked tone
"Oh dear, what's going on do you need me to come to you? I'll be there as soon as i-"
You cut him off, tears building in the corner of your eyes, a lump building in your throat
"I can't move darling, not with out one of my aids, they can't see me like that" the word few out of your mouth as you began to sob
"Oh sweetheart....you know that no matter what they think I'll be here, not only to support you, but to defend those to speak against you"
You tried to sooth yourself, waiting for Kylo to say something more but there was nothing
"But they'll still talk, Hux will talk,-"
Your sobs continued, even though he wasn't there, you could feel Kylos arms wrapping around you, you felt his warmth, his comfort and his live surrounding you, it made the pain a bit more bearable
Even with the feeling of Kylo around you, you managed to situate yourself into your walker,
Not saying a word, you walked out of the chamber using your Mobility aid, your gaurds stared for a moment before snapping back into position, shield into our as you made your way to your station, you still got states my Kylos touch made things better.
"Kylo hubby....?"
"Yes My darling?"
"thank you for being here"
"with pleasure "
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otpcompendium · 2 years
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Ummm,can you do some vampire x human prompts,if it's okay with you... I know I'm weird
Absolutely! Not weird at all, we love a good vampire AU. I also have a few I've done in the past you can find Here.
TW kidnapping (Prompt 2), illness (Prompt 4)
1. When A met B on a dating site, they fell for each other almost instantly. Since then, the two talk almost constantly, and despite A's insistence they only go on dates at night because of their job the two have been getting along really well.. There's just one thing B doesn't know: A is actually a vampire.
2. When their younger sibling C disappears in the middle of the night, monster hunter A tracks them back to the home of a local vampire coven and their ruthless leader B, who kidnapped C to lure A to their lair.
3. A is a human who is obsessed with becoming a vampire, and B is the tired immortal who's over it. A won't stop following B around for "research" while B tries to go about their normal nightly routines.
4. A is the town herbalist and local witch, and many people come to them in secret for help with their afflictions, medical and magical alike. One day B comes to them for an herbal blend to help keep their mysterious new illness at bay. A, however, recognizes their symptoms as the early stages of vampirism, and offers to help cure B of their curse.
Like my prompts? Leave me a tip!
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natthatcat17 · 3 years
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My rant of Steve Rogers Ending:
Steve left behind so many people to be with one person aka Peggy Carter first off I personally don't think he got to know Peggy that well- considering they met in '43 and he went under in '45 but also the fact that they were in the middle of a world war and met through the war meaning that they kinda had to do their job and not like mess around and date so when he went under he didn't really know her that well and then when he came out of ice in 2011 I think he didn't know Peggy was alive and talk to her again until 2014 and even if he did she had her one mental illness forget thing (I'm so sorry I forget the exact name of it) but they didn't really get to know each other all that well cause of these major inconveniences so he left Bucky his best friend who he has known since I believe 1930 (correct me of I'm wrong) and as he said in 2014 (tws) "even when I had nothing I had Bucky" so Bucky has been through everything with Steve, from his mom dying, to all of his illnesses, everything and when he needs him the most, trying to overcome being a freaking murdering assassin and could really use his best friend for helping him and to let him know that that wasn't him and that he isn't just a killer and is so many better things no he leaves also you have Sam, a man who has been the most loyal person to Steve ever since they met in 2014, always helping him and being on his side but instead of being with his new best friend who would do anything for him, he leaves- then you have Wanda a person who he has a sibling type relationship with a person who (because she died in the snap) just lost the lover of her life and had to murder the love of her life only for that to do nothing and had to see him die again, instead of helping her through that loss and saying, "hey I lost the love of my life too" and the two helping each other he leaves then you have the rest of the avengers that he left behind and in 2015 Tony said that he's the leader of the avengers so instead of helping lead his team through most of them not being on earth for 5 years and helping them through that and helping them through the the loss of Tony and Nat he leaves you also have to take into consideration the fact that he didn't take Peggy want and desires into this decision she said to Steve in 2014, something along the lines of "I lived mine, my only regret is that you didn't get to live yours" insinuating that she was happy with the way her life turned out, she was happy with her husband, her kids, her nieces and nephews, basically she was happy without Steve and my take on the second part was that she told him that she wanted him to move on from the 40's, from their past, from her, and live a life in this new century but instead of thinking of every person who means something to him every person who he has said to care about he leaves them and de regards them all for a girl that he kissed once in 1945 almost 80 years ago a whole life time ago- he wasn't even her boyfriend- they never dated they never danced they just shared once kiss and that was it- it was so out of character for Steve it's not even funny but thanks for coming to my Ted talk enjoy the rest of your day/night/whatever (it has been over 2 years and I still hate Steve for endgame)
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bothcreativitybois · 3 years
Text
The Mayor’s Sweet Treat Chapter 2
Chapter 1
TW: Swearing, stress, food (like usual), friendly hitting
Taglist (ask if you want to be added): @crazydemigod666 @star-crossed-shipper @idont-freaking-know @someoneiwasnt @lonelymuffin @cute-and-angsty-princess
Remus threw his keys into the bowl by the door. He’d been researching government grants and strategies for small businesses all day. He took off his boot and noticed his housemates jacket hung on the hook.
“He jumped the fence and took himself again.” Janus said as he placed down the paint can and took off his gloves. “He is too much like his owner.” Remus stood and the dog trotted off to find a toy.
“Delinquent? You home?” Remus shouted into the farmhouse. The old cottage had been renovated to be semi modern and Janus and Remus had very much driven out the old lady feeling it had. Remus began walking down the hall when Janus answered.
“Out back in the studio.” Janus shouted back. Remus made his way there, abandoning his flannel and letting down his hair on the way. As he opened the back door a whiz of fur flew past him as his cattle dog nearly balled him over. The dog jumped around his feet and barked happily. He bent over and pet his head before entering the back room. Janus’ mocha skin had a large black birthmark on the left side of his face. His dreaded hair looked almost like snakes slithering out from his black beanie. He stood in front of a large sheet of cork with a spray can.
“Spray painting the doors of the public bathrooms wasn’t enough, huh?” Remus joked and leaned on the door frame. Janus turned and bit his lip piercings.
“I didn’t like them.” Janus said plainly. “They were boring.” He turned around and went back to his painting. Remus laughed.
“I understand, Jan.” Remus informed. Janus had a tendency to ‘upgrade’ anything he saw as boring. Bathroom doors, book covers, Remus’ clothes, anything he didn’t like was a target for some form of graffiti. No one really stopped him from doing it. There was only one cop in town and it was Janus’ mother so she made some allowances. Remus also turned a blind eye despite his position of power.
“And it’s not like you haven’t had a fair share of infractions.” Janus teased as he painted.
“Touché.” Remus conceded. “Did you at least take Cain for a walk?” Remus knelt and scratched the face of his elderly farm dog. Even after all these years Cain could still keep up with Remus better than any human.
“That’s the second time this week… maybe I should take him to work with me…” Remus laminated. “Speaking of, did you know there was a bakery?” He asked Janus, he responded by shaking his head.
“Why?” Janus walked past Remus and headed to his room. Remus followed as they talked.
“What do you think?” Remus petted the dog’s head and asked. He was answered with his phone chiming. He pulled it out and looked at the text from an unknown number.
“I went there today and… they aren’t doing so good.” Remus sat on Janus’ bed as Janus opened his wardrobe. “The guy running it seems nice and very interesting, someone I want to keep around. I need to find a way to keep the bakery open.” Remus fiddled with his hands in his lap. Janus shed his paint covered shirt and abandoned it on the ground.
“What are you gonna do? Wrangle people in on horseback like they’re sheep?” Janus mocked.
“I’ll save that as a last resort.” Remus half joked. “I mean at least that I’m good at. The general mayor stuff I can handle with Virgil’s help. But saving a failing business might prove a challenge.” Janus pulled on his pastel yellow work polo as he listened. He picked up his shoes and hit one against Remus’ shoulder.
“You can do this.” Janus stated plainly.
Okay but what-” Remus started but Janus hit him again.
“Did you become mayor because you thought it would be easy?” Janus asked. Remus shook his head. “Did you become mayor because it’s something you knew how to do perfectly?” Remus shook his head again. “Why did you become mayor?” Remus sighed. Janus was straight forward, he never let anyone lie to themselves.
“Because it sounded sexy?” Remus said and smiled deviously. Janus hit him again.
“You wanted to help people, you told me to never let you forget that.” Janus reminded Remus. “You’ve always liked a challenge, whether it’s beating Roman in a scrap or lobbying for gender neutral bathrooms in the high school. You fight for what you want and that makes you an amazing leader.” Janus pulled on his shoes and grabbed his bag. Remus was inspired by his kind words.
“What if I fail?” Remus asked softly as Janus left. “He’ll hate me.” Janus walked over and put a hand on his shoulder.
“If you think this guy and his bakery are worth fighting for then I will fight by your side. I’m sure Roman and Virgil will too. And with all of us you can’t fail.” Janus reassured before leaving. Remus walked out to the living room and dropped down on the couch, Cain jumped up and rested beside him. 
After closing up the shop Patton retired to the apartment above the bakery. As he entered he took a microwave meal from the freezer and threw it on the counter. His mother would crucify him if she knew but he really didn’t have the energy to cook. Patton stripped off his work clothes and put on a pair of frog pyjama pants. As he cleaned the grime off his glasses his ears rang in the silence.  
He hated quiet. 
Growing up in the city there was always noise from somewhere. Silence made him uneasy. Patton pulled out his phone to play music. A cheery pop song filled the apartment. With a little dance he picked up his work clothes to put in the wash but felt something in the pocket. He pulled out the card Remus had left with his phone number on it. The front was official and had an office phone number but scrawled on the back was what seemed to be a mobile number. Patton smiled at the thought of messaging him. He hadn’t met anyone in this town yet. He always had friends or family around so ever since his mother went back to the hospital he had been painfully lonely. But he was too stressed keeping things afloat to bother trying to meet anyone, not that he’d know where to start. But then earlier Remus walked into his bakery and he immediately felt comfortable. Maybe it was the fact he was the mayor? He just gave an air of control. Patton picked up his phone and happily typed in the numbers then the message.
How was that muffin, muffin?
IT WAS FUCKING GREAT WHATS YOUR SECRET
If i told you i would have to kill you hehe 
Patton looked up at the sad little microwave meal on the counter. He really didn’t want to eat it.
How bout dinner 
What ya cooking good looking
I have been meaning to look around town, you know any good places?
ILL BE AT THE BAKERY IN 5
“Wait no.” Patton said out loud looking at his attire. His hair and hands were still covered in flour and icing sugar. He threw down his phone and rushed to get ready.
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brandywine-tomatoes · 3 years
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One of the Bad Ones
From a little thought of mine <3
Masterlist
Pairing: (platonic) female!oc & crosshair
TW: sad/depressing thoughts, a little bit of human experimentation, self-depreciation, PTSD
Word count: 1895
QUICK NOTE: this is a concept with my oc Dain and her (platonic) relationship with Crosshair. Dain is a chiss jedi who hates the republic. She was the TechnoUnion's test subject years before Echo got there. She was rescued by the Batch and Co. when they went to rescue Echo. If you want more details, let me know!
-
There were good days and bad days for Dain. This day would be one of the bad ones.
Hunter and Wrecker were getting some much-needed rest, recovering from the day before. Tech was messing with a small part of the hyperdrive in his bunk with Echo helping, not getting the rest they needed. That left Dain piloting through the ridiculous amount of traffic on Pasaana, their new mission destination, with Crosshair as her co-pilot. A content silence consumed the ship, only Tech’s fiddling with a blow torch, Hunter and Wrecker’s soft snores, and the clicking of controls filling the cramped space.
Dain was consumed whole by her usual track of mind. The horrors of Skako were always her first destination. It was hard not to think about it, she was there for years. She constantly had to rhyme off the different things she could see, focus on the light reflecting and refracting around the ship, squeeze her eyes shut and dive into the life forces of her crewmates to bring her back from the fluorescent-lit laboratories and chilling surgical tables. Her limbs disobeying her commands as her captures messed mercilessly with her eyes. She could feel the tiniest of needles embedded in her iris, the sorry excuse for a numbing agent being injected.
She could still feel the helplessness that she constantly felt every second she was conscious on Skako. The bacta tube she was confined in when the surgeons needed a break still haunted her. Her long hair frail and coarse flowing like a separate entity, her oxygen mask so tight around her face practically another body part. She felt like she was being slowly and carefully pulled back to it, she could feel the warmth of the liquid seeping up her calves and past her knees, almost above her waist.
“You okay?”
Those few words violently pulled her out of the tank she was sinking into.
She didn’t feel the little drops staining her cheeks. Of course she wouldn’t, she was too messed up to feel the things that made her organic. She saw a sparkling on her cheeks refracting the light of the speeders and pods held up in front of her.
Dain quickly wiped them away. “I don’t know what you’re referring to.”
“Simple question,” he said, his usual snark present.
“I am perfectly adequate; I don’t know where you’re getting your ideas from.”
“Your bullshit doesn’t fool me,” Crosshair sighed.
Dain whipped her head around to his dead serious face gazing out at the fully stopped highway. “I beg your pardon? I am not, as you say, bullshitting.”
“You’re suffering. You really think this act is convincing?”
She was perplexed.
“Don’t look so surprised.” He went back to prepping the ship from its parked mode to move a couple inches further.
Dain did her part in guiding the ship the few little inches. They stayed in silence for quite a while, Dain trying to stay afloat by following the train of speeders and pods zig and zagging across miles and miles towards the capital city. Crosshair had propped a tiny black book on his raised knee, sketching away like he always did when he had extra time.
“How could you tell?”
Cross continued with his pen. “Hm?”
“How could you tell?” Dain asked a little louder.
“Well crying doesn’t cover anything up,” he gestured with his pen to her newly wet cheeks.
She quickly went to work wiping them dry, the force drawing a deeper blue to her skin. She dropped her hands in her lap in defeat, her shoulders sagging. “I can’t control it.”
“Nothing special.”
“I misspoke. I can’t feel it.”
Crosshair seeded his sketching of the pods and speeders.
“I remember what lacrimal feels like, seeping from the tear ducts,” she continued. “But I just... I don’t function like that anymore.”
He didn’t know what to say. What do you say to such a horrific fact? What did they do to you?
“I, um, overshared. Apologies.”
“No,” he objected. “It’s, uh, fine.”
Dain sunk into her seat, pulling her knees up to her eyes instinctually. Making herself as small as possible eased a little itch in the back of her mind.
She was a leader before all of this, she didn’t want to shy away into a corner and fade away in her own shadow. She stood with purpose and commanded respect. She was a decorated soldier, higher in rank than most Jedi. She had a family who she loved and who loved her. She depended on the Wolffe Pack as much as they depended on her. She was one of them.
She held a burning passion against the Republic. She fought to someday end the war so she could help burn it down and build something better in its ashes. Something that didn’t negotiate living being's lives like they were poker chips to be tossed in a pot.
It was all gone. It disappeared. She only wanted to melt into the soil, maybe help the earth flourish with trees and wildlife beside a rushing river. She didn’t hold a passion for anything she used to. She wasn’t the leader she needed to be, she didn’t have a family, she didn’t have anything to fuel her anymore. She was empty and purposeless. Maybe I’m better off melting into the earth.
“Here.”
Crosshair tossed the little black book and the pen to Dain, landing in the space between the armrest and herself. Dain stared at it for a moment, unsure of what he was playing at.
She slowly unfurled herself, her feet setting on the floor without a sound and her nimble hands bringing the book and pen to her lap.
“You can’t stay in there forever, you know. It’ll drive you insane,” he started.
Dain’s shoulders deflated. “I know.”
“It’s impossible.”
She eyed him wearily. And I thought this was going to be a pep talk.
“You just have to escape long enough.”
She stayed silent and a small bit of intrigue nipped at her fingers.
“Try it,” he gestured to the open landscape in front of them.
Dain shimmied to the edge of her seat to prop the book to a blank page against the dash in a free spot of any controls.
“Any requests?” She asked without an ounce of cheek in her words, only what seemed to be defeat.
“Nothing you can remember.”
She looked around the desert in front of her. Only a city that looked like a birdbath all those miles and miles away and the pods and speeders backed up were to see. Nothing she could see really sparked interest in her, nothing ever did anymore.
Just as she was about to toss the book back, she found her subject. A little patch of orangey clouds against the scorching sun. The entire sky was filled with them, the light bouncing off every fluffy edge and casting long shadows, but this patch’s edges were sharply defined and outlined against the glowing of the sun. There was no double meaning, no metaphor she could attach to it. Nothing sad to see in the clouds, it just looked graceful and meaningless.
She scribbled away on a page, not having enough energy to criticize her chicken scratch. She remembered a piece of advice from someone she hadn’t thought about for what felt like decades. You always get caught up in what you think you’re seeing, not what’s actually in front of you. Exasperated laughter echoed in the aftermath.
She proceeded with that in mind, trying to stay out of her head and only taking what was in front of her to transfer messily onto the textured parchment.
Crosshair was the smallest bit surprised the broken woman in front of him kept sketching away for more than five minutes. He half expected her to toss it back and retreat into whatever hell her mind had become.
He didn’t believe it when Anakin told the rescue team on Skako that it was Force Marshel Dain Lec in the bacta tank, floating eerily like a dead specimen with a tight black shirt and shorts that gave away how much she looked like a dead, decaying skeleton.
She was basically a myth in the GAR. Force Marshel Lec was one of the most decorated soldiers in history; her battle plans and strategies were studied by captains, commanders, and generals. The Bad Batch admired her work, it was exactly their style of getting things done. But she only worked with Commander Wolffe and his battalion, she didn’t ever grace the rest of the GAR with her presence. The fact that she was one of the only Chiss serving the Republic only added to the mystery of Dain Lec.
But it wasn’t just her bat shit crazy plans and strategies that she was known for, her humanity and empathy were only dreamed of. The regs all had their fair share of generals who hated them for existing, some even had the unfortunate fate of serving under Krell, but the Wolffe pack only spread the word of her immense empathy and compassion. Ruthlessness and compassion never went hand in hand, but somehow the universe broke logic and made Force Marshel Lec.
Crosshair couldn’t put the myth to the face. Sitting beside him, still sketching away on the consul, was a shrivelled and washed-out woman who couldn’t feel her own tears. Granted, it had only been a few months of her being dumped on them along with Echo, and she hadn’t been in the thick of the action yet, only drawing up plans and flying the ship, but he couldn’t imagine what else an escaped science experiment could do.
“You underestimate my abilities a staggering amount, Crosshair,” Dain’s permanently shaky voice broke his thoughts and sent him into a panic.
His thoughts staggered. “You- you-”
“Force users can’t read other beings' thoughts, but I can most certainly piece together the ones that float by.”
Crosshair thought someone raised the temperature in the ship by 20 degrees.
“I... I...”
“I’ve made the best snipper in the GAR speechless,” a small smile spread across her lips. “It’s perfectly fine, no ill will befalls this situation. I’ve endured far worse than the judgement of others.”
He didn’t know what to say. Again. He felt embarrassed over anything, over the fact he’d stoop to such lows. Why was he like this? Why did he have to point out the worst in people who were already suffering enough? Was it some kind of ego thing? Was he that insecure?
Dain tossed the book and pen back to Cross, making him jump. She looked at him intently, trying to catch his gaze that was anywhere but on Dain.
“Cross.”
He sighed and met her foggy crimson eyes. It didn’t seem like a confrontation. She brought her knees up to her chest again and fidgeted with something in her lap. How could she be considered a leader? Stop it.
Her gaze turned to one of sympathy. Pity.
“You should consider your own advice, you really think this act is convincing?”
He scoffed and leaned back against the co-pilot's seat, turning his attention to the backed-up traffic.
She sighed deeply, like the weight of the world was getting heavier with each conversation they had. “I’m still here, even if everyone here doesn't want me to be.”
--
A/N: HELLOO PEOPLE!! It's been a while!! I haven't been writing a lot lately, that's not true, I've just been writing a long marvel fic and making new OCs that no one's interested in I'm sorry for that. If you want more of my bb Dain, please let me know! I'd love to share her with y'all!! Go drink some water, get a snack, take a break, you deserve it so much!! I'M SO SORRY IF THIS WAS OOC, I TRIED MY BEST OKAY
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tw, slight mentions to suicide, manipulation, (specifically dream’s manipulation), slight violence and/or murder, and curse words
even though techno said sbi (as a family) isnt canon, im still gonna head canon it, because he said that was okay
so, here we go *takes deep breath*
SBI HEAD CANONS AND INCORECT QUOTES BABYY
im literally obsessed with how strong sbi is. i mean, of course theyre hilarious and tommy’s a child, but other than that... god damn.
starting off, we have techno, of course. and hes super strong just by himself. (TECHNOBLADE NEVER DIES and BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD)
then, we have philza. angel of death. killza. he’s insanely strong. like, god.
then, wilbur. wilbur isnt physically strong, but he was always a leader. he started an entire country, for hells sake. he’s smart, a leader, and doesn’t give up. (he also went insane and died, but we dont talk about that)
im gonna think of ghostbur as this kind of seperate entity. (cause he kind of is) ghostbur isnt inherently strong, but no one would ever want to hurt him. hes nice.. a little too nice. now, forgive me if im overthinking here, i feel as if ghostbur might be hiding something. apparently, a few days ago ghostbur joined the server with a new skin, a skin with large goatlike horns.... hmm... little sus...
and, then, of course, tommy. tommy, tommy. the only person dream’s scared of. at the current moment in time, hes super confused. he keeps thinking that dream’s still his friend, and upon seeing the final control room his first instinct was to run back to dream, his abuser. but, techno’s taking care of him right now. hopefully techno can get tommy back on his feet and then they can become a great team.
another thing about philza, he doesn’t really have any allegiance to any country, (*cough* lmanberg *cough*), and he mostly only has allegiance to techno, wilbur, and tommy. aka, sbi. he also recently revealed that he doesn’t think that tubbo isnt actually doing a great job at being president. so, what does this mean for sbi? that once phil gets out of house arrest hes probably gonna go live with techno, tommy, and wil.
oh, lord, am i excited for that.
oh lordy lord lord
im so hungry
what was i doing
oh yeah sbi
nice
anyways, moving on from the immense power in that group,,, um tubbo? i like tubbo
he really cool
i mean, i really dont like the way hes ruling lmanberg right now, but before that he was awesome
i think a lot of pressure was put on him when he became president, especially because he didnt ask to be president and he didn’t even run for president.
and, since everyone else in the cabinet is being more controlling, (possible glatt possestion?), tubbo is seeming less and less like a president as everyone else starts making more decisions than the legit president.
so, i think that exiling tommy wasn’t only a plea for peace, it was also to show that hes the president, that hes in charge and he makes the decisions.
but, sadly he just lost his best friend
also, obviously dream is so bent on controlling tommy because tommy doesnt do what dream says. tommy does what he wants to, what he thinks is best, what he thinks will help his friends.
so, when dream manipulated tommy, and tommy kind of broke, dream thought he finally had him. he had gotten tommy, the uncontrollable hero, under his control.
but, when tommy made the room, dream used that as first; a sign that tommy wasnt completely under his control and second; a way to manipulate tommy even more.
but, that, (at least i think), is when tommy realized that something was wrong.
sitting on that wooden tower, looking at the blown up logsted he realized that... maybe dream isnt his friend.
i honestly cant wait for tommy and tubbo to make up with each other, though.
i really miss the consistent content that they made with each other, and i miss when it was “tommy and tubbo vs dream”
:(
another thing, after wilbur blew up lmanberg, tommy kept saying, “its me and you vs dream,” which i think is kind of ironic. both of them agreed that even before lmanberg, before wilbur, before everything, it was tommy and tubbo against dream. they were best friends and they had a common enemy.
then, they both seperately went to dream for help. tubbo becoming dream’s “ally” while plotting to kill him and tommy being manipulated into being dream’s friend.
obviously, the manipulation isnt tommy’s fault though.
back to more sbi themes
i literally live for how good techno is being to tommy rn
like, literally, he hid tommy from dream, protected him from mobs without a thought, let him live in his house, gave him armor and weapons, and when tommy saw the final control room he said, “its fine, it doesnt take one day to heal,” and got tommy out of there.
tommy’s still a little bitch tho
anyways, tommy’s first response to the final control room was that he wanted to go find dream. this is how manipulators and abusers work. they make you think that you need them, and so when anything bad happens you want to fall back onto them, and that’s what tommy had been doing for the past few weeks, so of course his first thought is, “where’s dream? i need dream.”
luckily, though, techno was there to help him through it, and i just think thats neat.
and, isnt it funny that a sixteen year old minecraft player is representing manipulation and mental illness better than most movies? hmm....
maybe now we can have some incorrect quotes OwO
(im sorry i never want to do that again but i was on a call with a friend and she told me to do that im so sorry god i feel so guilty i hate that i hate is so much i want it to die im so sorry for putting you through that omfg im so sorry)
phil: tubbo.. where’s tommy? tubbo, knowing that tommy is trying to light techno’s house on fire: who’s tommy? phil:
wilbur: tommy, i hate you. you are so annoying, not funny at all, and the worst child ever. you disgrace every other normal child with your weirdness. tommy: wilbur, to literally anyone else: im so proud of tommy and how far hes come. that kid, hes so funny, i dont know how the world will be ready for tommyinnit. he makes great content, and deserves all of the attention that hes got.
techno:  butcher army: im gonna kill technoblade. techno: butcher army: yeah, you are so dead, techno. you better count your days. techno: butcher army: *starts attacking techno* butcher army: *almost gets killed by techno*
thats all i have for now! *fades out of existence*
/rp of course
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vergilthelibrarian · 4 years
Text
Dream of Me, pt.2.
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To the anon who asked me to write a second part to this, here ya go! I’m might turn this into a series cause I’m actually genuinely interested in what I’m writing.
TW: mentions of self harm
Part.1
Yandere!PsychDoctor!SichengxGenderNetural!Reader
Walking into the day room, you looked around, eyes landing on Jisung who soon saw you.
His eyes lit up and he smiled and you smiled too, walking and taking a seat next to him.
“Hey.”
“Did you sleep well?” you asked him and he shrugged.
“A little. Not gonna lie, I was kinda scared.” he answered.
“I get it. I was too when I first went to a psych ward. I cried myself to sleep actually.
“Really?”
You nodded.
“Yeah.”
You two started talking, mostly getting to know each other.
“I’m in my first year of university. I’m majoring in dance.” he said proudly.
“That’s awesome! I got a degree in music and I was going for my masters before I moved back here.” you said.
“Why is that?” Jisung asked and you glanced away.
“I was kinda forced to move back here. Past demons catching up with me and all.” you told him.
“Is it because of your doctor? I saw him go into your room last night…” he whispered to you and your eyes widen for a bit before going back to normal.
“I… Jisung-”
“I’m sorry if I struck a nerve or-”
“It’s okay Jisung.” you said.
You sighed.
“My doctor is a childhood friend of mine so he knows me. I don’t really like talking about him though.” and he nodded.
“It’s cool. I don’t want to make you upset or uncomfortable or anything.”
You two looked up as you saw a young man walk into the room who you instantly recognized.
“Hey Taeyong.” you waved and the tired looking man stopped in his tracks and looked at you. He waved at you before walking to a chair and sitting down, crossing his legs and turning his attention to the TV.
Soon you saw your doctor walk in, a gentle smile on his face.
“Y/n. I see you’re out today and you’re making friends.” he stopped in front of you, glancing at Jisung for a bit while Jisung gave a small smile in return.
“Let’s go to your room for a bit and see how you’re doing?”
You nodded, getting up and walking off with the doctor to your room.
Once you got into your room, you sat down on your bed, facing Sicheng as he took a seat in the chair.
“How are you today?” he asked.
“Why do you keep asking me this? It’s not like as if you’re gonna let me leave this place anyway.” you said looking at him annoyed.
Sicheng chuckled.
“You’re right about that.” he said with a smirked.
Ever since finding out that Sicheng was your doctor, you knew that he was gonna somehow use his position and power to make it harder for you to leave despite being the cause for your stay at the psych ward in the first place.
You pulled at your fingers, your eyes soon on your lap.
You hated the air in the room.
It felt stuffy and awkward and you didn’t feel safe. You wanted to be back in the day room talking with Jisung.
“So… I see you’re talking with a new patient.” Sicheng said.
“Don’t tell me you’re jealous. You’re the one who told me yesterday to go out into the day room and talk to others.” and he nodded slowly.
“I did. But I still can’t help but just get a little jealous when I see you’re talking to other people besides me.” he admitted.
He leaned back into the chair, his eyes on you.
“You know, I’ve been talking with my team and I brought up you moving into a long term residential psychiatric program and-”
“What?” you looked up at the doctor, eyes wide.
“Aww, Y/n.” he cooed. “You’re sick. You’re a danger to yourself. If I let you go back outside, who knows what will happen to you.” he said.
“B-but… You can’t do that!” your voice raised as you looked at him in shock.
“I can and I will. You weren’t even taking your medication when you checked in.”
“That’s because you kept throwing them away. You worsened my sickness…”
Sicheng’s jaw clenched and he glanced away.
He looked back at you, his face soften as he said, “I’m only doing this so you realize that I’m the only who can really help you. No one cares for you as much as I do and if you’d just stop resisting me, it wouldn’t have to be like this.” he said before getting up.
“You can go back to the day room now. We’re done for today.” he walked to the door and left the room.
You got up from the bed, rubbing your arm as you walked to the door and left the room.
You went back to the day room only to see Taeyong talking to Jisung.
You couldn’t help but giggle at how Jisung looked a bit uncomfortable while Taeyong talked to him.
They soon noticed you though, their eyes landing on you and Taeyong motioned you to come closer.
You did, taking your seat next to Jisung.
“What did Sicheng say?” Taeyong asked, his eyes now on you.
You sighed.
“He’s thinking about putting me in the long term program.” you told him.
Taeyong frowned and Jisung eyes grew wide.
“What does he even gain from keeping you trapped here?” Taeyong wondered out loud, leaning back into his seat.
You shook your head.
“I don’t know.”
Taeyong himself was a long term resident of the psych hospital. He was schizoaffective and, from what he told you, his mind snapped when he lost his mother. You met Taeyong in your first year of high school, he only being one year higher than you. Everyone knew how much Taeyong loved his mother and when the news came out that she had cancer, he became a bit more sadder than his usual cheerful self but still, he kept his optimism. Everything was fine at one point, his mother had her last chemo treatment and things seemed to be turning up. But then it came back and this time it was worse and the doctors told his family that there was nothing they could do. When his mother passed away last year, his mental health started declining rapidly and with him already being bipolar now being paired with symptoms of schizophrenia, he genuinely felt as though he was losing his mind. Besides all of that, he didn’t tell you much as to what led up to him to being here but he did tell you that it was his relatives who brought him here and suggested to the nurses for him to stay here long term and with how unstable he was, his team decided that that was probably the best thing for him.
“This place is hell. I mean, besides the fact there’s nothing to do here, some of the doctors and nurses will just dope you up with so much drugs to the point were you become numb.” Taeyong said, which was true.
Some of the doctors and nurses just weren’t good people.
They didn’t see the patients as people who were genuinely sick and needed help.
Some of them saw you as lab rats to test new drugs on or as incurable.
One of the patients named Jennie, who only left her room for meal time, had severe BPD and was given so much medication by her doctor that she never really seemed all too there.
She would just sit and stare at the wall.
Never moving, her eyes blinking slowly.
It was sad.
Jisung frowned slightly.
“Isn’t that against the law though?” he asked and Taeyong rolled his eyes.
“The government doesn’t care about insane people. We’re seen as dangers to society just for existing and some of these “doctors” and “nurses” tend to keep those same ideas when they come into this line of work.” he crossed his arms. “And they don’t help us because we need it. They “help” us because we’re considered ticking time bombs that will kill someone the moment we have an episode.”
Jisung shook his head.
“But that’s not true.” he said and Taeyong sighed, looking at him with sad eyes.
“You’re right. It’s not true. But the rest of society still think it is and we, the ones with the illnesses, still suffer because of it.”
~~
Sicheng typed away on his computer when he heard a knock on his door.
“Come in.” he said, his eyes soon leaving the screen when he heard it open.
A man in a black three piece suit came in and closed the door.
He took a seat in one of the chairs that face the front of Sicheng’s desk and Sicheng smiled warmly at the man.
“How are you doing Yoonoh?” he asked and Yoonoh made a face as though he was in thought.
“Fine I guess.” he answered.
Sicheng saved his work and closed his laptop, giving his attention back to the man in front of him.
He waited patiently as the man tried to gather his thoughts.
“I don’t know how I’m doing. I don’t know how I’m feeling. Honestly, this life has made me so numb, so desensitized that I don’t even know if I could even have a genuinely healthy relationship with anyone. The fear of them dying a retaliation is just too high.”
Sicheng nodded, his eyes on the man who looked visibly distraught.
“It amazes me how my father was such a sweet man to me and my mother. I genuinely don’t know how he did it. This life makes it so hard to be sweet to others especially since it made me realize how much of a sadist I am.”
Sicheng listened to Yoonoh spill his guts out to him, about his fears, the nightmares he has of those that he killed getting their revenge.
And as Yoonoh talk, he cried.
He always cried during his sessions with Sicheng and Sicheng knew that Yoonoh thought he could only cry here with him because what would his men think of him crying over being raised in a life crime considering he’s the leader of his father’s mafia?
They would think he was a pussy.
After about 30 minutes passed, Yoonoh wiped his eyes, closing his mouth as he was done talking.
But before Sicheng could say anything, something came across Yoonoh’s mind and soon he found himself asking, “How’s Y/n doing? I’ve been thinking about them lately.” he said and Sicheng smiled.
“I’m taking care of them at the hospital. I’m actually planning to become their sole caregiver.”
Yoonoh nodded.
He didn’t want to tell Sicheng but he did felt bad for helping Sicheng force you to come back here, especially since it seemed like you had your entire future ahead of you. He also felt bad that Sicheng was using your mental illnesses against you. He only did things like that to his enemies so he didn’t understand why Sicheng was doing it to you… but love did come in different ways so he usually chalked it up to Sicheng just being in love.
Yoonoh didn’t really question why Sicheng did the things he did to you but he still couldn’t help but feel guilty at helping destroy your future and being stuck with a man who may be missing a few screws himself.
“How are you gonna become their sole caregiver?” he asked curiously.
“Their family already gave me the okay to care for them long term and their friends don’t even know that I was the one that was stalking them all those years ago. Also, no one is gonna question why they’re living with me suddenly since everyone knows we were close friends.”
Yoonoh knew he was right.
Everyone who was raised in this town knew how close you and Sicheng were before you went off to university.
What no one knew however was how your leaving made Sicheng lose it and while he was taking more unconventional routes in order to become a psychiatric, he hired Yoonoh to find out where you were since you deleted all of your old sns accounts before you left and didn’t really tell anyone the college you got accepted into. Once he found you though, Sicheng made it his mission to get you back, no matter how mad he had to drive you.
“Why are you asking about Y/n by the way?” Sicheng asked and Yoonoh ran a hand through his hair.
“I don’t know. Guilty conscious I guess.” he admitted and Sicheng nodded.
“I understand. But know that Y/n is only safe in my care. I will never let harm come to them.” he said and Yoonoh just nodded.
That might be true but if anyone was to ever harm you, Yoonoh thought, it’d be no one other than Sicheng himself.
~~
You eyes looked to your side, landing on Taeyong’s drawing.
You looked back at the blank paper in front of you, not knowing what to draw.
You decided to go to art therapy with Taeyong since you didn’t want to be in your room all day since you were still hallucinating and talking to both Jisung and Taeyong seemed to be helping a bit.
You’ve always heard a voice in your since you were child and only started visually hallucinating around the time you hit puberty.
The voice started off telling you do to random dangerous things, similar to how intrusive thoughts are but as you got older, the voice became more abusive and since your family didn’t believe you when you told them what was happening, you suffered throughout your entire youth because of that voice, the only people taking your words seriously being your friends.
The voice that would talk to you was a male’s voice. You couldn’t put a name to who it was though so you usually called it Him.
But when Sicheng started stalking you, a new voice appeared and the voice was that of Sicheng.
His voice would tell you in the mostly sickly sweet tone how no one loved you.
How no cared about you.
That your friends were fake and your family hated you.
And you heard his voice tell you this because he was already telling you this himself.
Leaving messages on your phone through voice and text, writing letters and leaving it in your mailbox, telling you how much no one loved you… besides him.
And it really did affected you.
You started distancing yourself from your college friends and by the time you graduated, your mental health was just as bad as it was when you were younger, if not, worse.
The only reason why his words affected you was because of how much you believed him.
Out of all of your friends, Sicheng was the only one who truly comforted you.
You were friends with Taeyong too but he was going through so much back then that you understood why he couldn’t really do much to help you.
But Sicheng…
Sicheng was always there for you and maybe it was selfish of you to just leave your hometown without a word and start a new life at a college in another state but you wanted to get away from your family so badly that you were fine with forgetting about your old friends and moving on.
Starting anew.
You sighed as you picked up a red color pencil and started drawing circles.
The circles began overlapping one another until it turned into a red mess.
“Okay guys. Now it’s time for us to go around and tell everyone what we drew and why.” Chittaphon, or Ten as what everyone called him, said as he turned down the music that was playing in the room. “Remember, you don’t have to say anything.” he smiled before picking up his drawing and starting first.
You liked Ten.
He was pretty chill and funny and would also let patients take crayons and paper to their room just to draw.
Once Ten was done explaining his drawing, he passed it down to one of the patients who began talking.
When it got to Taeyong though, he shook his head.
“I don’t feel saying anything today.” he said and then looked at you.
You picked up your drawing, looking at it, sighing.
“I didn’t really draw anything.” you started. “I just drew a bunch of circles overlapping into one another.” you turned the paper around for everyone to see. “I’ve just been hearing the voices and they keep talking over each other. I guess it could mean that? I don’t know, I’ve just been overthinking a lot about things.”
“What are they?” Ten asked and you looked at him.
“Just… just about the things that led me up to being here…” you answered him and Ten nodded.
“The beautiful thing about art is that it never truly has to be good. Art is a way to express emotions and thoughts that you can’t express in the verbal all too well. To make sense of the thoughts and troubles you have. To cope and understand the trauma you suffer from. If you drawing a bunch of circles made you come to that conclusion, then I say that you did draw something.” Ten said, a gentle smile on his lips.
You nodded.
“I guess you’re right.” you said, setting the paper down on the table. “I’m done.” you laughed awkwardly, looking at the older woman next to you who then began explaining what she drew.
When group ended, Taeyong told you to wait for him and went up to Ten and asked him for some more art supplies and Ten went and got him some crayons and paper.
Once he gave it to him, Taeyong thanked Ten and soon the both of you left the room.
“Let me put these in my room real quick.” Taeyong said and you two walked to his room, just talking about whatever.
When he got to his room, he went in, set his supplies on his dresser and walked out, the both of you heading to the day room.
As you entered, you saw Jisung whose eyes were red and puffy.
He did have talk therapy during yours and Taeyong’s art therapy group so you assumed that was the reason why he looked rather sad.
You went up to him, taking a seat next to him and smiling.
“Everything okay?” you asked him and Jisung looked up at you.
Taeyong took the opposite seat next to Jisung and began rubbing his back.
“Every time one of my alters take over, I don’t feel in control of my body. I’m just watching on autopilot while this stranger ruins everything.” he said. “I just hate that I can’t even remember what actually happens. I can’t recall the things I’ve done or said. I just feel so alone...” he sniffled
“Jisung, what you’re going through, there are others who go through it as well. You’re never really alone.” you said, trying your best to comfort him. “But I know what you mean. I feel the same way too.” Taeyong nodded. “Same.” he said. “When it comes to being sick mentally, it feels like as if no one understands your struggles. That you’re the only person in the world suffering but there are others who do know your struggles. Just because your friends and or family don’t get it, doesn’t mean you’re truly alone.” you told him, a soft smile on your face.
Jisung nodded slowly.
“I guess you’re right.” he said, shoulders slumped.
As you and Taeyong try to comfort Jisung, you saw someone come into the room out of the corner of your eye. Looking up, you saw a patient you’ve never seen before and thought it was a new patient.
His eyes met yours for a bit before looking away.
He looked rather tall in to you and his hair was black. His eyes look tired and sad and as he sat down, you wondered what exactly brought him here.
“It seems like everyday a new guy shows up yet I’m still stuck here.” Taeyong whispered bitterly causing you and Jisung to laugh, who seemed to be feeling a bit better.
~~
As you sat in your bed, you pulled at your hair.
The voices were loud.
Even though you were taking medication, they wouldn’t stop.
You began wondering if you were even given the actual medication you needed or sugar pills.
Knowing Sicheng, that wouldn’t really surprise you if that was the case.
You’ve been in the hospital for 3 weeks now and it seemed as though mentally, you were getting worse.
You looked to your side as the door squeaked open and Sicheng came in.
He walked to the bed and sat down on it, wiping your hair away from your face.
“How was your day?” he asked you and you looked away, pulling at your hair harder.
“No no no, don’t do that. That’s not a good habit.” he said gently pulling your hand away from your hair.
Sicheng was always so gentle with you… but his words always hurt you.
They cut you, hurting and bleeding far more than any self harm scar you’ve ever inflicted.
There was a part of you that still clung to Sicheng.
He was always there for you when no one else was and it made you so confused whenever you thought about that because Sicheng was the reason for your mind worsening in terms of health.
“My day was okay.” you answered timidly, not looking at the man who watched you with soft eyes.
At first, when he started harassing you, you felt terrified, angry that your old best friend was doing this, but ever since coming back home, you began feeling weird. Confused at the fact that Sicheng was still very much the warm and understand boy you grew up with… as long as you didn’t do anything that upset him that was but to Sicheng, you could never upset him.
Irritate him, yes.
But genuine anger towards you, no.
Sicheng chuckled, his hand soon caressing your cheek.
“That’s nice.” he said.
You hated the fact that this man practically had a say on whether or not you were “healthy” enough to leave because deep down you knew he was still sabotaging everything in order to make you stay here.
But a part of you would protest and say that Sicheng is just looking out for you because Sicheng’s voice, that was in your mind, was telling you that all he ever did was look out for you because that’s what the real Sicheng was telling you.
You bit your bottom lip as you felt soft plump lips, gently touch your cheek.
Sicheng would always kiss you everywhere on your face, except your lips.
His kisses was always hesitant and shy, just like him.
He leaned back, his eyes on you, smiling, a soft look on his face as he said, “Goodnight 亲爱的 (Qīn'ài de/Dear). Things will start getting better once you realize that all you need is me.” he lifted his hand up and began rubbing the top of your head. “Now get some rest.”
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irishmacguirefucker · 4 years
Text
Meeting Tilly Jackson
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A.N: (So originally this was going to be for my au but I realized that if I wanna write Tilly in my AU i need to properly understand her background. We don't have a lot of specific details in the game, so i wrote this. Essentially its how Dutch found Tilly and took her in. She’s 14 in this. I will probably have a part 2 soon. Its a little dialogue heavy)
(TW: Sexual Assault of a minor is mentioned but nothing happens, blood)
Wordcount:  3110
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Tilly Jackson has a family. They may be a little odd, different than what everyone else might consider a family, but a family nonetheless. Dutch and Hosea her father figures, Susan Grimshaw a motherly presence. Sisters in Karen, Mary-Beth and the other women of the camp, brothers in Arthur and John and most of the other men. The titles don't matter so much as the feeling of safety and comfort and appreciation among them. She missed her late mother of course, but she hoped on some level her mother would be happy with how things turned out for the girl in the end. Being kidnapped at the age of 12 was nothing short of traumatizing, and for a long while, things only got worse. The Foreman gang was the opposite of a family. They were nothing to her but the people who stole her away from her mother claimed to own her. The ones who tried to take advantage of her. The night that Malcolm Foreman tried to make advances on her and she killed him was the night she would consider herself grown. 
She's not sure exactly how long she was alone, it must have been under a year. She went to find her mother only to hear of her death, and with nowhere else to go she just kept running. The further she made it the less likely that Anthony Foreman would find her and pay her back for what she did to his cousin. She knows that it was early spring when she left. The snow had barely been off the ground, she supposed that no longer being wrapped in a ratty cloak and scarf was the reason that gang member thought to make his move. 
Dutch found her just when it was beginning to get cold again. 
Despite considering herself grown, her body disagreed. The shoes she ran away in were already ill-fitted, and by that autumn they were practically falling apart. Her toes stuck out the front. She had done her best to steal clothing off people’s clotheslines, but they rarely fit.
Dutch caught her doing just that. He had been watching the property of some well off folks, planning on casing it with Arthur later that week. He watched as a girl no older than 14, snuck out from the tree line in a torn-up blouse and a too-long skirt.
She was clearly not experienced in stealing as she tripped over her skirts up the property, but she made it to the side of the house mostly successfully. She quickly tore down a long dress and an undershirt and quickly started back to the tree line. She stared wistfully at the property's large orchard and nearly turned her course towards it before hearing the owner of the house open his front door and stealing away into the forest. Even from a distance, Dutch knew what that hesitation meant. She was hungry.
Dutch was hardly one to let a promising little thief like her starve in the forest, so with a passing glance at the house he stood from his hiding spot up the hill and mounted the Count.
Tracking was never one of Dutch’s strongest abilities but she made it rather easy, with footprints in the mud, a scrap of fabric where her clothing caught a branch, etc. Eventually, he reached a spot where she seemed to trip and fall, and then there were a few drops of blood here and there as he followed. He knew he was getting closer, the blood wasn’t dry. He dismounted his horse and began leading him forward when suddenly she jumped out from behind a tree wielding a large rusted hunting knife. 
“Don’t come any closer! You can take your clothes back, here.” She kicked over the items he had just watched her steal. “Don’t tell the law, and I’ll disappear. I don’t have anything more to offer you.”
Dutch grinned, she was strong-willed. But he also observed that her cheeks were sunken in, and her skin was dull. She was visibly malnourished, and there was blood dripping from one of her small hands. He hoped it was a branch she cut herself on and not that dirty knife of hers.
He put his hands up in a friendly gesture.
“I’m not the man you robbed earlier, don’t you worry. I watched you steal that dress, you’re quite the little thief.” 
She was doing a damn good job of hiding her fear, but Dutch was experienced in seeing past such facades. She didn’t seem scared of the weapon she was holding, as the young and inexperienced often were when they wielded such an item. She just seemed scared of him. 
“Why did you follow me, it ain’t your things I stole. I have nothing to give you, so you best just leave me be.” She didn’t stutter, her high pitched voice remained unwavering and strong. Dutch tried his best to look unthreatening, something he didn’t find himself having to do often. 
“Well, I myself was planning on robbing that house myself later with a few of my friends, perhaps I just wanted to see if you had any advice for me as a seasoned visitor of that property.”
She didn’t believe him and didn’t lower her knife, but she didn’t run either. Good. “Now if I reach for something in my saddle bag here are you gonna come at me with that big old knife?”
She narrowed her eyes. “Why?”
Dutch smiled. “Well if you and I are gonna talk business I thought that maybe I could pay you for your time, little lady.”
She finally lowered the knife a little, seeming less afraid but very suspicious. “You wanna pay me for information on that house?”
“I do. Information is worth a lot to us outlaws, you should know that well Darlin’” He slowly turned to the horse. Even if she did attempt to stab him, she wouldn’t get to him before he could turn around, so he wasn’t worried. As he was digging through the saddlebag she spoke up behind him.
“Don’t call me Darlin.” 
He smiled at her bravado but kept looking through the bag. “Well, you’ve yet to give me something else to call you Miss. Ah! Here it is!” He turned back to her holding a small stack of cash and a wrapped parcel. 
“Yeah, well neither have you!” There’s that reminder that he’s talking to a child. They’re always so petulant. John had been just the same, though a little more rabid. “Well, I’m Dutch, Dutch Van der Linde.”
He studied her face for any sign of recognition, but there was none. Good, less reason for her to be afraid of him. She didn’t give her name just yet. 
“Are you with the Foreman brothers?” She asked boldly. “I won’t let you take me back, I’ll kill you before you get me back there.” That would explain her fear, she wasn’t just a thief. She was a runaway from another gang.
“Now I’ll tell you right now Miss, I’m not with Anthony Forman or his little gang. The only gang I’m with is the Van der Linde gang, and I promise me and mine won’t bring you any harm.”
“You...You lead a gang?” She was shaking, it was starting to get colder as the sun was setting. 
“I am, but we aren’t like those bastards you knew. We’re just good people, looking to live free.”
Then he did something bold, a gesture to help her feel safer in the presence of a gang leader. Hopefully, she would be a little more at ease. “Do you mind if I sit down Miss-” 
“Jackson. Tilly Jackson.”
He smiled. “Miss Jackson. Do you mind if I sit while we talk? Tracking you was quite a little adventure.” 
“Go ahead, I guess.” 
“Thank you, Tilly.” He sat down on a log just to the side, and she lowered her weapon fully but gripped it tight. “Now, go ahead and take this.” He took a couple of bills and tucked them into the string around the parcel. She stared at it suspiciously.
 “I didn’t tell you nothing yet and I ain’t stupid mister Van der Linde, why are you giving me this.” 
He smiled and leaned forward to place the parcel on the ground in front of him, between them. 
“As I said, you’re quite the thief and I think you could help me out. Doesn't hurt to butter up the informant. There's some food in the package, I thought you looked a little hungry.”
She seemed to stare at the parcel longingly and something clenched in Dutch’s cold heart. The poor girl must be starving.
 “I…I don’t have no info for you, Mister Van der Linde. I just needed the clothes.” She seemed disappointed to be saying it, but she didn't lie to him like he thought she might.
“Well...maybe you could just keep me company then Milady. Good company is hard to find among us outlaws, as I’m sure you know.”
In a flash, she was back two steps and her knife was raised once more.
“I ain’t that kind of girl. you can keep your fucking money and go pay a real whore for your damned “company’”
This was the opposite of the outcome he was looking for, and entirely at the fault of his own poor word choice. He should have known better, there are only a few things that can happen to a young girl in this country to put her on the run and make her fear good company. 
“Now listen here, Miss Jackson. I am not that kind of man, I wouldn’t take advantage of you like I’m sure the bastards in Foreman’s gang tried. It’s like I said it, my gang is just good men looking for freedom and money. You can leave right now if you want and I won’t stop you, or you can stay and eat some, and I promise I won’t even look at you funny.”
She stood frozen, knife gripped tight. She seemed to be weighing her options. Dutch had yet to pose a threat to her, his weapons remained holstered. He hadn’t even tried to come close to her. She steeled her nerves and spoke again. 
“Then...Give me one of your guns. If you really ain’t gonna try nothing then give me one of your pistols and if you try and do anything bad I’ll shoot you.”
In any other circumstance, he wouldn’t have even considered it. But this wasn’t some criminal who he was wringing for information. This was a terrified little girl who was too afraid of the man in front of her to even eat food when she was starving. He slowly reached for his left holster and pulled out the pistol. He made a big show of flipping it in his hand so that his finger stayed away from the trigger as not to scare her, and he placed it beside the parcel. Gently he pushed them both over with his foot and sat back on the log with his hands beside him. 
She stared at him, and quick as lightning she grabbed the items from the ground. She backed up to her spot and slowly sat on the ground. The pistol was too big for her hand, and her other hand was getting blood on the side of the wrapped meat. Slowly she unwrapped the piece of dried venison, not breaking eye contact with the man sitting before her. “Why are you being so kind to me, I ain’t never heard of a ‘Good’ outlaw, we’re all just killers and thieves.”
He took note of the word ‘we’ before killers and thieves. Perhaps there was a reason she was so steady holding that knife. “I suppose no truer words have been spoken Miss Tilly, but I was never the type to watch a young lady suffer…You know, I found my son Arthur when he was about your age. The boy was just starving in the streets, stealing what he could. Quite like you are now.”
She didn’t respond, just stared at him a moment longer before taking a large bite of the meat. He hadn’t seen someone eat so ravenously since he fed John for the first time.
It took a lot of talking to get her to let her guard down. She didn’t reveal much about herself, other than that her mother died and she wasn’t part of the foreman gang, she was just there. Though the tension in her shoulders slowly sapped away as she filled her stomach and let herself calm down. They spoke for a few hours and he tried his best not to treat her like a child, god knows they hate when you do that. He couldn’t help but notice that she just seemed so sad. Once all that fear subsided and she spoke more freely, it was clear that she was lost. She mentioned her mother’s death with deep sorrow, her eyes going glassy before she seemed to catch herself and move on. 
Eventually, her hand stopped bleeding, and he tried to catch a look at it as she gestured. The sun was nearly set and he would have to get back to camp before they went looking for him.
He told her as much and he watched that deep-set sadness seep back to her features. 
“Oh… well. It was nice to meet you Dutch.” She used his first name for the first time. He stood up and she did as well, wincing as she used her injured hand to push off the ground.
“You know... you could come back with me and let our doctor take a look at that hand. Well...she ain’t exactly a doctor, but she can fix it. We wouldn’t want that getting infected, it’s far easier to be an outlaw with both hands.”
She wanted to go with him, he could see it in her eyes. Good friends are hard to come by when you’re a child with no home. 
“And perhaps, you could stay awhile. Learn how to be a real outlaw instead of a dress thief.” She seemed offended at the comment, a funny little scowl crossing her features. She was thinking about the offer, and he hoped it sounded at least a little better than sleeping alone in the forest. 
“If I come to your camp….nobody's gonna try and touch me?”
 “Absolutely not my dear, if they try I’ll cut off their hand myself.” She seemed to giggle a little at the notion, a sound he would take pride in. She sobered up and asked; 
“And I can leave whenever I want? I ain’t gonna let anyone try and say they own me ever again.”
“If you come to camp, Tilly Jackson will remain a free woman, but you’ll have a home to come back to if that’s what you would like.”
He watched her hesitate a little longer. Some coyotes barked in the distance and she shivered.  “Maybe just for a little while. Just to try it.” 
“And you can leave whenever you want.” he reassured.
“And I can leave whenever I want.” She repeated it back like she was convincing herself. He turned his back to adjust the Count’s saddle and give him a sugar cube, and he heard small footsteps come closer to him.
“Um. Can I give him one? He’s real pretty.” Dutch turned and she was at his side, staring at the large animal. She was even smaller up close, and he could see that her bones stood up against her dark skin.
“You know, I think he would like that. Now here, take just one of these and put it in your hand flat. Don’t worry, he won’t bite you.” She went to take it from his hand before realizing her hands were full with the knife and Dutch’s gun. 
“Oh. Here you go, Mister Dutch.” She tried to hand him back the gun. Bravely he thought, to give up her best defense, but he didn’t take it.
“I’ll tell you what my lady, It’s gonna be a bit of a ride to get back to camp and I don’t want you feeling like you can’t hold your own. You hold on to that one just until we get back, alright? We can put your knife in the bag safe and sound.” She obliged, putting the hunting knife gently in the saddlebag and holding on to the pistol. Then Dutch gave her the sugar cube and she held it out to the horse gingerly. The Count had no such hesitation and stole the treat from her hand quickly, the softness of his nose near her fingers making her giggle.
“Now, I think we might just be ready to move! Can I help you up milady?” He said, with a ring clad hand extended like a butler. The gesture made her giggle more and Dutch was happy to see the sadness put aside for a little while. She took his hand in her much smaller one and let him lead her to the side of the saddle.
“Now, can I lift you or do you want to go stand on the log over there?” She could read the underlying notion. The hidden meaning of ‘Do you want me to touch you’, ‘is it okay if I lift you’, etc. He was being more considerate than anyone she had ever met. She took a deep breath and put a little trust in him.
“You can lift me if that’s okay.”
“It would be my honor milady.” He lifted her onto the horse’s rump and tried not to think about how light she was. How he could feel her bones through the layers of her shirt. Once she was settled, he climbed up himself. Before they got going he pulled out his canteen and an apple from the bag. 
“Here. Dinner will be done by the time we get to camp and there’s no reason you should go hungry back there, that just wouldn’t befit such a distinguished young lady.” She accepted the food, and he set the Count into a walk to get them out of the underbrush. Once they were on the path he pushed into a more brisk pace, but he wouldn’t risk trotting with her back there, the count’s trot could be rather rough and she’s so thin she would just be thrown off.
It would be a long ride back to camp at this pace, but it just gave him more time to get to know her and tell her about camp. 
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toothlessturtle21 · 4 years
Text
You Are Worth It
Welcome back to me posting my oneshots on tumblr! This is the first one posted on my AO3 account, so if you remember it, wow, I’m impressed. TW: suicide mentions, mental health issues, implied depression. Takes place mid to end season one. Glaciershipping angst/fluff!
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Cole has always felt butterflies around the Ninja of Ice, but he has to suppress these feelings when he finds Zane so very close to the edge of the Bounty's railing, fingers slipping. While Zane reassures him it wasn't suicide, he can't shake the feeling that Zane isn't as fine as he seems. 
It was the middle of the night, and winter's bite was still as potent as ever. Zane sat on the railing of the Bounty, looking down at the world below as the ship leisurely made its way through the skies. He probably should've felt fear from staring into the black abyss, but he felt oddly calm as he watched the faint shape of trees drift past. He exhaled heavily, eyes fluttering shut as he let the tranquil night engulf him.
Not that he knew it, but he was relaxing so much that he was unconsciously leaning farther and farther over the side, until his grip began to slip from the cold, icy railing, threatening to send the almost hypnotized ninja into the inviting darkness. It would have succeeded if it weren't for a certain ninja deciding to step outside for a breath of fresh air.
"Zane! What are you-!" Cole grabbed roughly at the back of the Ice Ninja's shirt, pulling him down from the railing. Zane, not expecting someone to yank him backwards, was thoroughly startled when strong muscles hooked under his arms, catching him with his legs still hanging over the side.
"Cole?" Zane tilted his head back to look the Earth Ninja in the eyes, Cole's brown eyes frantic and shiny with unshed tears, a rush of emotions all occurring at once inside his head.
"Zane, why were you up on the railing?" He asked almost hysterically, alternate realities where he had been too late flashing through his mind. All he could focus on was how his heart was pumping, the fear he felt when he had strolled outside to see his best friend so close to falling off the edge of the ship, so close to having to collect his remains from the jagged rocks and trees below.
"I couldn't sleep, so I was enjoying the view. Why?" Zane was confused when Cole breathed a sigh of relief, looking away to try and blink the water in his eyes away.
"I- I thought..." Cole trailed off, swallowing thickly as he gently helped Zane onto his feet, stepping away just incase. "You were leaning over the side, and you looked so at peace with yourself that I thought..."
Zane suddenly understood what Cole was implying, and guilt overwhelmed him at the thought.
"Cole, you know I would never," The Ice Ninja stepped closer to his leader, and the man nodded but didn't look too reassured.
"I just- I know how you were when we met you, Zane. I thought maybe you had relapsed, and I don't think I could stand watching you die," Cole swiped away a stray tear, and the Nindroid didn't know what to do. He approached his leader with caution, wrapping his arms around the man's bulky frame.
"I didn't mean to scare you..." Zane mumbled into Cole's shoulder, the latter being a solid few inches taller. Cole hugged back with more force than normal, reassuring himself that Zane was okay, and that he hadn’t been too late. He shoved down the butterflies that tried to crawl up his throat back into his stomach, where they lived every time he interacted with the Ice Ninja. They were slightly less present than normal, but watching your best friend and crush supposedly about to take a dive off the side of a railing would do that to you.
"I know, I know," Cole felt Zane burrow into his shoulder, and at this action, the ill feeling in his stomach returned, this time with full force. He was so close to the Ice Ninja, he could feel his power source buzzing right below his right pectoral, nuzzling into his rib cage. It wasn't a heartbeat, but to Cole, it didn't matter. The Earth Ninja sunk down slowly, keeping the Ice Ninja encased in his arms.
"Are you alright?" Zane asked earnestly, turning his head to the side so his forehead rested under Cole's chin. "You aren't normally this... clingy."
"Sorry, is this too much?" Cole flushed, and Zane shook his head slightly, but didn't respond verbally. Cole rested his cheek on Zane's hair, which smelled of mint from the shampoo he used. The two sat in silence for a few minutes, neither of them daring to speak, both afraid. Eventually, Zane took a deep breath.
"Cole, you do know I would never abandon you all like that, right?" Zane pulled away slightly to look Cole in the eyes, and the Earth Ninja met his gaze for a moment before responding.
"No, I don't know that." He tightened his grip around the Ice Ninja, expecting the resistance that the Nindroid gave.
"I beg your pardon?" Zane bit, his eyes brimming with hurt. "How could you accuse me of being so selfish?"
"It's not selfish, Zane. You know that. I don't know what's going on inside your head, I don't know how much you're hurting. I wish I did, but I don't," Cole felt his throat closing with emotion, and Zane slumped back into him, the fight quickly draining. "I neglected you at the beginning, we all did. We all knew not knowing your family was eating you, but we did nothing. I know you still haven't fully recovered, I know that your "sick days" are spent crying locked in your room, but I haven't done anything," Cole was nearly sobbing by this point, trapping Zane in his grip to convince himself that the Nindroid was still here, still with him.
"You are right, Cole, the act of killing oneself is not selfish. My apologies," The Ice Ninja rubbed circles into Cole's arm in an attempt to sooth the man whose grip seemed to be tightening by the minute. "Cole, I may have my bad days, I will admit that. I have times where I would much rather lay in bed and work out my emotions than train, and I have days where I have trouble convincing myself that anything I do is worth it, that the connections I make are worthwhile. I wasn't aware that you knew of my worse times, however. I am sorry that I have caused you to feel so much pain for me."
"Don't apologize. I know you're hurting, and that's what worries me. What if you can't get yourself out of a rut one day, and you spiral too far down? I don't think I could live with myself if I let you torture yourself like that anymore," Cole buried his face into the Ice Ninja's hair, and Zane squeezed his arms a little tighter, bracing himself.
"The point of my telling you this is to explain why I am confident I won't commit suicide," Zane said rather bluntly, and Cole found himself flinching. "Every time, I convince myself that connections with the people around me are worth forming. I still crawl out of bed the next day to make breakfast, or to attempt to resume a regular eating pattern. My mind may still be hurting, but I try to break through it and come back to all of you. It may take hours or it may take days, but I pull myself out of the spiral. Life is worth it."
Zane took a deep breath, mentally steeling himself.
"You are worth it."
The two sat in silence as Cole processed this statement. There was no way, this couldn't be happening-
"Are you implying what I think you are?" The Earth Ninja lifted his gaze to meet Zane's bright blues, and they seemed to glow in the dark as Zane blinked slowly with a nod, his eyes shutting with a light squeeze as their lips met.
When Cole had fantasized about this moment, it had never involved such a heavy discussion leading up the occasion. He had imagined a sunset, light breezes tousling his teammate's hair as they confessed affections. Never had he considered that it would be incredibly late, cold, biting air tearing at their skin as they poured every unsaid word through their kiss. He tried to communicate how much he cared for the Ice Ninja, how much he desperately wanted to be there to help heal the Nindroid, make up for all the time where he could've been there but wasn't.
Zane had never really thought about it, accepting that whatever happened was what was destined to be. Even if he had, he would never have conjured the scene of being held tightly in the Earth Ninja's arms after reassuring his leader that he wasn't leaving, and that he never would. Something about it was so bare, so emotional that it had the Ice Ninja shivering, and it wasn't from the frost-bitten air. He hoped Cole knew that he wasn't angry with him, that he could never blame his family for how he felt. His bad days and his depressive episodes had nothing to do with the actions of his team, and he desperately hoped Cole realized that.
When they broke, Cole taking in huffs of air, they stared in silence as their minds caught up to their actions. Cole felt a blush rise as he realized that he had just kissed Zane. Zane had confessed that he cared for Cole deeply, enough to kiss him. Which he did. On the lips. The Earth Ninja gently leaned in for a peck, coaxing a pink tinge to appear on his companion's cheeks.
"So," Cole said roughly, voice raw from emotion. "I suppose we have a lot to talk about."
"Indeed," Zane nodded, leaning back to rest his head on Cole's shoulder. "Shall we head back inside?"
"Please," The Earth Ninja stood, shivering at the sudden lack of heat from the absence of the Nindroid's body. To his satisfaction, Zane slotted himself under Cole's arm immediately, not quite willing to let go yet.
"Do you want to sleep in my room?" Zane asked quietly, almost afraid to ask, but Cole smiled.
"Of course. I would have trouble sleeping on my own after tonight anyway," The dark-skinned man pressed a light kiss on the side of Zane's head, not able to sate his newfound desire for the Ice Ninja.
Zane didn't respond, but pulled Cole gently into his room, shutting the door behind them with a soft click. They both crawled in bed, Zane splitting his pillow stash with his companion as the Earth Ninja let out a sigh of pleasure from the warm blankets settling over him.
"First of all," Cole said in a half-whisper, voice gravelly. "Are we dating? I don't want to assume anything."
"I would say we are, yes. We are dating," Zane responded in a whisper of his own, almost uncharacteristically elated. Cole involuntarily grinned as Zane smiled, tucking himself to mold to Cole's chest. At least the spooning argument was solved.
"You have no idea how happy this makes me," Cole nuzzled into his boyfriend, the word rolling around his mind like a bouncy ball, pinging off every corner with unmatched energy. "How happy you make me."
"The feeling is mutual," Zane smiled, the two content with holding each other for what seemed like an eternity.
"Secondly, are we going to tell the others? They might say that I'm playing favorites," Cole snickered, and Zane made a noncommittal noise.
"I don't see why not, unless you can think of a real risk. I haven't perceived any information that would claim that they would disapprove on anything more than a joking scale."
"When're we going to tell 'em?" Cole yawned, the warmth from the Ice Ninja making him increasingly drowsy. "Tomorrow?"
"I have no issue," Zane let his eyes flutter shut with a content sigh, and the two whispered goodnights, arms wrapped around each other tightly with no intention of letting go.
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