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gayfrenchtoast · 3 years

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Okay fine we're doing this. I havent read the books and I'm probably not going to I've only seen the movies so I'm sorry if anything I say is contradictory or has already been stated.

So! Descendants 3 was kinda shit and I dont like it but especially because of the ending because everybody was like "oh yeah island is open and we're all happy with no worries or implications about free villains or people being spiteful about being imprisoned for years!" In fact if anything they joked about those things.

The island is basically its own culture, I can't say how long it's been around, long enough for some almost adult kids to be about and to develop a kind of community.

The Isle is a place of poverty, people are dirty and on the street, eveyone steals from each other and most people don't put much effort into appearance upkeep (personal or of the sourounding area) not because of laziness or being "evil" but because they clearly don't have time or luxury to do such things or possibly even the clean water. Does the Isle have clean water?? How to they get electricity??? Someone tell me!

Another thing that I've noticed is easy to see but is not much explicitly said is the unique style of those on the Isle. As previously stated they don't have much but those who have the most "power" and such on the Isle are the best example of this As they have the most colourful outfits. However these outfits are often made out of patches and ripped things put together, even salvaged things like nets and chains as we can see on thing like Uma and Harry's outfits in D3 they make the best of what they've got and they do fantastic because their outfits are intricate and detailed and just tell you everything you need to know about them. Which is why it's a damn s h a m e when the original VK's ajust their style to be more like Auradon's. That's not an improvement! Be proud of where you came from!! It's like they forgot what it was like being on the Isle in D3!

Moving on, here's something that was touched on in D2 but not enough. Equality. On the Isle there is basically equal opportunity as in saying everything is shit and nome cares what gender and presumably what sexuality you are as long as you can work. Sexism is shown to be almost casual in aurodon from the looks of it, Chad makes sexist comments and litterally none else says anything or seems to see anything wrong with it except Jay who caves to pressure from peers and expectations. He does redeem himself because he's from the isle and he knows you shouldn't give a shit about anyone's gender or anything. If they can do something and ask to be included you give them that opportunity. The sexism is also implied in the way that the rule book has men written specifically in the first place and that it has taken until then for anyone but boys to be allowed on any kind of sports team. We never see it! It seems to be the hetronormative veiw where the boys do sport and girls do cheerleeding and other genders? What other genders? Never heard of that? BAD AURADON!! I bet there's so many trans folk on the island just living their lives, thinking Aurodon is the better place and not knowing that it's a cis het filled nightmare.

Okay no I'm headcannoning now, if their are now a bunch of Isle kids at auradon prep they find it fucking aweful the way all these preppy royals are treating them and make the first LGBT club in Auradon. There is lots of pushback and they get bullied a fuck ton for making themselves the most prominent queer folk in the school until a fight breaks out and the club demand that they should be treated better, taking all the evidence to fairy godmother who is very hesitant because COME ON she's never been that great she is biased to Auradon kids and if putting away those in the Isle is brought up she is all on it, she is jelly spined about doing anything against the royal kids. So the kids are like "Fine, if you won't help us we'll take this to the King himself!" Well mainly the queer mom's of the group (you know the ones I'm talking about) who lead the others and protect the anxious queers as they storm to Ben at his fucking locker and demand an audience because they are being harassed and bullied and none is doing anything. Ben had no idea there was even a LGBT club (too busy ig) and is gassed there is one for a moment before he's like "wait people are harassing you?" So Bisexual King Ben gets his lovely Bi wife and they start coming to club meetings and investing in the pins and stuff the club makes. Most club members are pleased but the queer mom's are apprehensive that this will help until some assholes come to the club to do their usual bullying only to find King and Queen Beast themselves siting there with rainbow bracelets and bi pins and all trying to have a nice old time eating their fucking cupcakes what the fuck are yall doing? The bullying dies down quick once they realise it ain't gonna fly, the other OG VK's that hear about this become members and very protective over their queer children. Did I mention Dizzy and Ceila are a part of the club? They're girlfriend's. Celia is one of the queer moms. Harry becomes one of the biggest protectors over the group as the pan dad. He's been going around snogging everyone and anyone wholl snog him everyone already knew he was queer they just didn't have the balls to try and bully him over it as much as they bullied the lil club members. But now Harry can often be seen in jackets and shit with pan and general queer patches and pins and running around with his gay children yelling "MOVE WE'RE GAY!!" He totally calls them his queer crew. Anyway as a result lots of queer royals start coming out of the woodwork, obvs Lonnie is one of them, and the club eventually serves to bring members of Auradon and the Isle close together.

Where was I? Yada yada auradon expects girls to be pretty princesses and boys to be brave knights or dashing princes. It's shit and should stop being portrayed as good. Moving on!

Food! One of the things we'll established in all movies is that the food of the Isle is shit compared to food of Auradon. The Isle has no fresh fruit which likely means its almost impossible for things to grow there which is fair because again there doesn't seem to be much fresh water and there are always clouds overhead so no sun. Maybe there is some people trying really hard to grow stuff but the general attitude of the Isle seems to be "there is no time for that" and fruits are forgotten so much that the VK's litterally don't knownwhat they are when they come across them. That and anything containing sugar. Actually it's mention by Dizzy and Celia that they enjoy the fact that the cake dosent have dirt or flies so basically food there is terrible. We don't see much food on the Isle but what we do see seems to be beans, eggs, chips and shellfish. Basically protine and carbs that can be easily stored and produced. To be fair beans are kidna good for you but they're likely a sign that if they get any imports from the mainland it is canned stuff. Prison food. There's probably some chef villain that is trying their best to make good food out of the shit but honestly the Isle dwellers should be angry that they've been deprived of good food for so long not happy they're finally been given decency.

Moving on, music! Auradon dosent have nearly as many musical numbers it seems, the Isle songs have a distinct style, to them, the villains that basically "founded" the place were masters of the dramatic songs (with backup or solo) so banging music is basically ingrained in the music's culture, even for battle as we see with the fight between Mal and Uma in D3. Meanwhile Auradon seems to have mainly romance and "I want" songs. Even Audrey's villain song is basically an I want song.

Okay let's talk about the Villains. We've established that the VK's are not inherently bad. However not all of them can be totally good and there are legit OG Villains just kinda chillin on the Isle. They've obviously lost quite a bit of their power, motivation and sanity (isolation will do that to ya as they lost everything and the VKs know no different) but deadass? They were bad guys. You can try to rehabilitate them sure but you've basically just let them free roam, they could make a runner and you wouldn't get the chance. They were also shitty patents which is brushed over/joked about in the interaction between Carlos and...man I feel bad I forgot her name deadass their relationship seemed to come out of nowhere in the second film she didn't seem interested in them at all and friendzoned them multiple times I'm pretty sure Disney did that becaue queer kids were relating to Carlos and headcanoning them as queer (which they deffinatly are) but deadass their mom is an attempted animal murderer and has hurt her child as we can see from how they're afraid of her and her rhetoric and yet it's "haha I'm afraid to meet your ma!" "Me too cus im a dog! Lol!" Fuuuuck offfffff

I think I'm running out of thoughts so here's a last one for now; with the magical barrier down a bunch of magical Villains kids should be coming out for the woodwork. We know Mal has magic basically stored in her so it's is possible, she technically doesn't need the spellbook to do magic it is just inherent to her. So with the diverse range of people from the isle there are deffinatly magic folk in there. Actually if we're following Disney movie law I saw something mentioning Jay being half Genie and yeah! He should be half Genie! Jafar got turned into a Genie he's probably only human because of the barrier! Oh also Ben should be able to go beast on command as long as he had a better beast form than he did in the movies. And give him back the beard and fangs like fuck you he looked so much better

Okay I'm done for now

#decendants #decendants 3 #mal #carlos de vil #jay #harry hook #uma

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queerautism · 2 years

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(before reading i would like to say i accidentally talked too much and it accidentally became possibly a vent??? no matter what u get a cookie for 0 reason but bc i said so. if u want to u can just delete the ask and not even look at it or whatever. i would prefer if you didnt post this ask itself and if u respond to it do it in a separate post. Edit later: I was going to ask a question relating to all this but I forgot it and honestly im not going to just delete all of this which is a lot. my stance on the “dont post this” has changed and it would be ok just add any tags u think are needed??)

sorry about this really long message /gen i just never talk to anyone about this and got a little too deep into talking about it all.

no clue if this can be answered but i have NO clue who to talk about this to (if you know anyone who could answer this better please direct me to them!!). back when i was younger, i had an emotional attachment to my (not legally back then) adopted siblings. they were related to me by blood, as cousins and their mom had just given them to us randomly and we decided to take them in. i loved them so much. and she took them away from us, just to put them up in another home and another and eventually they ended up in the foster care system and she went to jail.

now, i was in an awful state during this time where they weren’t with me. before then, my mental health had been pretty good, no meltdowns/tantrums/etc and anger issues weren’t a problem. but when they were taken, i got worse and worse pretty fast. Everything started going downhill and I would always be getting in trouble at school, at least one problem every week if not more. This was around maybe second or third grade? Not sure.

Started getting attached to books and minecraft youtubers to try and help this all out, but all that happened was just an obsession for the rest of my life and nothing else. All my anxiety & stress and whatever else were a cause of this experience but I never even think about this anymore and it doesn’t make me feel much looking back (besides misery and wanting to cry about something that isnt even a problem anymore), i just wish i could tell my past self they would come back.

They’re back with us and have been legally adopted for maybe 2 years now? I don’t remember. My anger issues are getting easier to handle, but I still snap at people sometimes and some people have assumed I have BPD, which I’m pretty sure I don’t have. Even my cousin thinks I have BPD.

During this time, I had been in a girl scouts group that my mom made and everyone in the group had left us because I was (and i quote, paraphrased but i remember this well) “weird and different” and because of my anger issues. Which back then, I had no diagnosis’s for anything and now looking back it’s an even worse memory since turns out I’m ND. Oh and I also sleep deprived myself when my siblings were gone and now i have insomniiiaaa

again sorry for the really long ask, have a good day and I dont know how to end this since I accidentally just vented to someone who doesnt even know me sorry :(

It's really okay. There's nothing weird about you. You were in a shitty situation where you had no control, and changes like this during formative years can have a big effect. It can absolutely be traumatic.

I'd say it might be a good idea to look into emotional regulation issues, and maybe CPTSD, which has a lot of traits in common with BPD. You might want to look at DBT therapy, there's workbooks you can do yourself and I've found them really helpful

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mrs-nate-humphrey · 3 years

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I am curious: what are your favorite scenes from your main ships (date, dair, derena...)?

scenes involving milo don't count, sorry!

for me, it's really not just scenes, but body language & just in general, how they are with each other, you know? dan and serena grin at each other and hug SO much, you can tell that being around each other in s1 made them both so happy, and even after that glow fades the way they look for comfort in each other... top level stuff. the way blair looks at dan... we never see her as radiant at any other point. she was not looking at anyone else like this. and gosh, dan and nate. they're both so comfortable around each other that there's absolutely nothing weird about like. discussing that one ex girlfriend whom they both share AND both were in love with. there is literally no other duo who trusts/enjoys each other's company so much that they're comfortable in a love triangle. (probably because they're more in love with each other than with the girl, but that is not the point. or is it?)

anyway, more specific answers. under the cut. this is one of the longest answers i've ever written on this blog possibly but you KNEW that would happen when you sent this ask, didn't you? (affectionate)

derena: i tagged one of my ds reblogs as 'the grumpy one is soft for the sunshine one' and like. look at them! this hug from 1x10 kills me in the best way. they are both the literal embodiment of :D when they see each other! i love 1x10 as a whole moment, their entire thing at cotillion is so sweet and they're both so happy. the fact that he is talking about his chemistry teacher during this kiss in 1x07. that bit at the end of 1x05 when they talk about their siblings (being there for their sibling because of fallible parents being a derena parallel makes me simultaneously really sad and really soft, tbh). 1x05 gives me SO MUCH SECONDHAND EMBARRASSMENT but the way they walk off together arms around each other does something to me - these are two people who are still getting to know each other but who really like what they see, and who trust each other and. are just having a good time together! back when derena was my OTP, the 1x11 "your story's about me?" was absolutely a fave, too, and i still adore it, albeit in a different, more nostalgic way. i like a dan who writes cute stories about serena. no empty shell sabrina van skoneker bullshit. she is so much like you, daniel! you'd be shattered if she did this to you. don't do this to her. tbh, most derena moments from s1 are just A+ romance. the bit in 2x02 in the jitney is so funny, they're SO bad at being exes. the bit in... 3x03 i think?? i don't remember... on the contrary. when they're talking about dan's fling w/ georgina and serena's relationship with carter, the ease with which they talk and how happy/supportive they are of each other's new relationships... yeah. love to see it.

i also really like any instance of them having honest/open conversations. 1x13, talking about how serena is concerned about blair. 1x08, serena talking to dan about feeling jealous of vanessa. this bit from the touch of eva or whatever that episode is. 4x04 i think. this is the conversation everyone is trying to get dan to have and he's avoiding EVERYONE else. derena interactions in 3x21 (can't find a gif right now) - the fact that dan is with serena when her dad abandons them, the fact that he goes all the way there with her. 2x07, "i'm really glad you're nate's friend. he really needs someone like you right now" (though i'm cheating, that's technically a d/n moment too klhdflkgf). there's a bit in s4 where he's advising her against having an affair w/ colin, i don't remember the ep number, but the way he takes her side so easily and naturally and puts due blame/responsibility solely on her professor... yeah. 4x10 i think this ep is?? idk. but like my tags say, im sentimental about this moment because while what dan was doing was irresponsible, sneaking her out of the ostroff, he was the only person in this episode who was actually talking to her and listening to her and taking her seriously. nobody else was doing that!!

i probably have more moments i'm not remembering, but we're only 1/3 into this answer and LOOK AT THE WORDS, good lord, i'm sorry.

dair: my favourite dair episode is hands down despicable b (5x21) which i have heard is an uncommon answer. i just love the conflict resolution of it all, okay!!! 1x04 & 2x08 are like. standard answers any dair shipper will give, and i'm no different. i love dan being able to give blair advice and blair actually taking his advice even though they're not friends yet!!! be right back, yelling at the intimacy of it all!! 5x16, with their getting together (this little kiss and dan being so startled by it), blair admitting a flaw she genuinely does have and dan saying it's not awful because it's her, which is just. romance at its finest. those vows, good lord. 5x18.... they're having fun! blair showing up at the loft in lingerie for dan... the delight on her face.... (i know this moment blows up in their face but when she's there she looks so happy and proud of herself and this was like THE moment when i was like. oh. dair is really the heart of this garbage show huh).

i think for me, the thing that really sells dan & blair together is the serena of it all. both of them love serena more fiercely than anyone else, and that is what brings them together. (fwiw i definitely think nate loved serena this much and this deeply, too; the writers just wanted to pop the serenate balloon, which even i think was extremely unnecessary and ooc.) but (& i have so much meta about this) their relationship grows beyond serena. their entire s4 arc is SO good. i love how comfortable around each other they are, in such an adult way, in the sense of like. they both bring so much stability to each other? morgan tagged this edit "the marrieds" and like. yeah. b offers to help him shave. they're having breakfast & reading the paper together.

all the love declarations we got that weren't a simple 'i love you.' be your charming wonderful self (how could she not love you/ tell me what would make you happy, dan) i told chuck he doesn't have my heart anymore (you spent your life earning the keys to set you free when you were free all along!!!!) dan's pep talk to blair in 5x21 (already linked a gifset earlier, here's another one if you want i guess). there's definitely more... but honestly, the way the dair arc was executed was so good - while i do have my complaints, i also think keeping those aside, it was SO close to perfect. i love dan & blair's banter and gradually becoming closer and closer and closer. it felt very organic and real and GOSH. the way penn & leighton looked at each other while playing dan and blair...... it's just SO MUCH.

date: this is the hardest, because it's. *screams*. maybe you saw me losing my mind over those 2 seconds of nate handing dan a waffle? i love almost every scene with these two, even the hellish s6 breakup scene. my favourite episode for d/n (& also favourite gg episode in general) is 2x06 - i love the homoerotic subtext of it all. nate pretending to be dan because dan's name is the first name that came to his head. dan flirting w/ nate while tied to that thing, in his underwear. them becoming friends. and 2x07 as a follow-up to that! dan getting nate to live in the loft with the humphreys for a while. i am so soft.

4x09 is a terrible episode in general, especially for serena my beloved, but the d/n moments in that one? off the CHARTS. this weird overly macho flirting, in some ways THE most iconic d/n line. this entire finish each other's sentences nonsense. someone (i think it was ana but im not sure?) compared the energy of those scenes i just linked to the book blairenate love triangle resolution, blairena choosing each other over nate in the books, date choosing each other over serena in the show (if only! RIP.) after the saints & sinners ball, this cute little moment of 'youre the only one who understands me. please tell me they went home together. i mean. how could they not have.

3x07, them watching vampire porn together. a tag i used on ao3 (& also on here, once) is 'nate brings out the himbo in dan'. here is a prime example. 'is she levitating?' i don't fucking know, dan, what do you think?? (i was telling my partner that that's what i love abt dair vs date. around blair dan is an intellectual, a librarian, an art historian, a museum curator. around nate it's like dan is competing to be #1 himbo on the show. can my girlfriend actually fly? i don't know, dan. i can't believe you're seriously asking such a question.)

3x12 pep talk. (sorry about the shitty quality!) essentially nate telling dan that he (dan) is hot and that he shouldn't talk himself down so much.

dan making nate gay in his book. you know. his book from which blair found out he was in love with her. nads (who i will not tag in this billion word long gushy meta, because i value her sanity) once called inside "wish fulfilment' and. i mean. yeah

nate checking dan out at the derena wedding continues to be hilarious. hilarious in the same way as dan sexually fantasising about nate. canon really went 'let's give ivy some special easter eggs' and i appreciate them a lot!

i love the way they are around each other - so quietly attuned to each other. i showed my sister my date!husbands gifset, and she was like. yeah they're so married. and it's just stuff like how dan looks for nate over his shoulder, it's not even an active action, it's as easy and natural and intuitive as breathing, checking to see if nate is still there.

oh, that wasn't as hard as it could've been! okay. cool. im SURE there's more things i could scream about, because it's DN, the fact that they're non-canon makes me THAT much fiercer about them than dair/derena, to be honest. so many dots to connect!! anyway.

#meta #derena #dair #date #anon #this is SUCH a gushy essay but like. what did you expect #how else could i have answered this #this took. an embarrassingly long amount of time #but i had SO much fun so #citations for my ships #don't mind me *whistles under my breath*

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crossovereddie · 4 years

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Thoughts on 11x06

I had to come back to type this after the episode. I was gonna wait to post until more people are active but everyone’s safety is more important than notes. This was really hard for me to watch. It took me two hours because I kept needing a break. It’s a tough one yall. It’s heartbreaking and really brought out issues I didn’t know I was still dealing with until I reacted so badly to some stuff. Take care of yourselves and I’m here if you need to talk. I’ll have timestamps for major tws in another post coming right after this. I just gotta go back and get the end of those scenes. I only go the time they started.

Okay. So. There’s some trigger warnings that I’ve reblogged earlier. This recap WILL have thoughts about those triggers. If you think you’ll be triggered just message me or send me an ask and I’ll give you the non triggering recap. Stay safe please.

Kev and v intro. They’re having sex behind the bar

I’m extremely nervous for some reason I might not be able to get through this

Bike heist!!

LICKEY RIGHTS

LIP CALLS HIM MICK

MISSION IMPISSIBLE

Mickey is unimpressed

Lip telling Mickey what to do yes please

Fucking Mickey omg

HE LOOKS SO GOOD

THE WAY HE SAYS BRAD

Again Mickey is unimpressed

Lip :(

MICKEY CONCERNED ABOUT LIPS SOBRIETY

AGAIN I SAY LICKEY RIGHTS

Frank is falling the chick he’s boning Monica

Not sure that’s her real name

Wait yeah it is

Frank??? Has to get to work???

Wait her name isn’t Monica

Oh shut now I get what’s happening

“Can I speak to Pope Francis please” LIAM 😭

Poor baby

Lip cooking breakfast. Hot.

I forgot about camis baby

I actually beep bad for lip and Tami

We already heard this argument with Mickey and Ian get new material writers

PRODIGAL THEIF

PINK BOX HES SO CUTE

HE LOOKS SO CUTE GOTTA SQUEEZE HIM PLS

Yeah don’t tell Carl that traitor

MICKEY BROUGHT DONUTS PLS

HES SO CUTE

ITS TOO MUCH

I LOVE HIM

HIS SMILE!!!!!!!!

GALLAGHER YOUTH

THAT MEANS MICKEY TOO BYE

CARL CALLING HIM MICK TOO PLS

I CANT TAKE IT

Poor Liam he’s terrified

“I was hoping the fucker would just die” :(

Shut up Debbie

Mickey is beautiful

Leave Mickey out of it debbie goddamn

I cant fucking stand her

Frank just observing his kids and smiling

Same frank

SHUT UP DEBBIE

OH MY GOD HIS LAUGH IS THIS WHAT YOU HEAR WHEN YOU FIRST GET TO HEAVEN????

“And the smartest” lol

Someone save Liam

“I want Sandy”

We all do kid

Fucking manipulative little I CANT STAND DEBBIE

Sandy deserves better

I hate the Milkovichs!!!!

How did smart sensitive sweet beautiful loving Mickey come from this disgusting family????

MICKEY IS THE BOSS

My heart hurts so him

“Homo sexy” dear god

Mickey is too good he deserves so much better

I love him so much

Let him be happy

Mickey has the biggest heart

They’re actually talking and not fighting

CHAPO STFU

You’re so funny and smart and beautiful don’t forget that baby

SUGAR TITS

And no one is fazed lmao

“He’s actually my uncle and my dad” I fucking hate this show

I forgot Carl makes legit money now

Wtf kinda school is this

This is so fucked up

The twins are so adorable

SHUT UP DEBBIE

“You guys” I hate that but also she’s acknowledging Mickey as “hers” and he’s family :(

Okay this horrifying comment

I hate that it’s just nonchalant

Debbie just keeps talking.

Let’s move on

Mickeys face when she says “butt naked”lmao

LIP CALLING HIM MICK AGAIN

“Talk to you for a minute?”

“Yes. Please”

I LOVE IT

Mickey is unimpressed by lip once again and I’m smiling

They love each other they’re secretly best friends ITS A FACT

HAND SHAKE SO CUTE

MY BABIES

“Blue like my balls” fucking frank lol

They’re going in on Frank’s storyline now

Boss Mickey at it again

Terry’s home

The way his face falls im sick

SANDY BABY

My heart is racing

Mickeys face is breaking my heart

Great now I’m crying

Mickey got emotional

Ian sensed it and touched his neck all fucking sweet

Okay I had to take a little break because I started crying

I love him too much

Fucking Noel is so damn good

My heart is fucking breaking

“Frank’s not a homophobic psychopath who tortured you for years”

Please Mickey deserves better

I don’t wanna hear any Ian slander either.

In this house we protect my son and my son in law I will fight you

“Let’s get the fuck outta here. Lip you coming?” 😭

That was so hard to watch yall. I’m not gonna lie to you. My parents weren’t half as shitty as terry but growing up feeling unloved your whole life fucks you up anyway and that brought out some emotions and feelings I didn’t realize I still dealt with. I had to pause for a good while and cry.

Leave Sandy alone debbie

Terry is disgusting

Okay the homophobic language he uses is definitely triggering so I’ll time stamp that too

Debbie you selfish bitch

Everyone leaving terry outside it’s a yes from me

I honestly can’t concentrate on the other scenes now I’m sorry y’all

I try to cover everyone’s scenes but it’s hard for me today

I’m not okay

Liam is too innocent poor kid

MICKEY LIP AND IAN THE BEST TRIO

We need more scenes

I PAUSED TO TYPE AND THE FUCKING LOOK HES GIVING HIM STOP

They’re besties

Mickey is beautiful

MY BABY BUSINESS BOSS MAN I LOVE YOU

he really hasn’t called him Philip the entire episode wtf

Ignoring Debbie

Now I want fries

Carl is cringy

Mickey drove them home and pulled a gun

Honestly again another heartbreaking scene

Ian’s trying to make him stop

Terry is disgusting and also a coward but we’ve been knew

Noel is the most amazing

Mickey gets teary but doesn’t cry bc I cried enough for the both of us

He’s the strongest bravest ever and I’m so proud of him

I need a hug

My heart hurts so much y’all

I just want him to be happy

I’m a fucking mess

I can’t handle Lip being emotional too

Oh I thought lip wanted to sell the house for himself only but at least they all get their share

Horrible music choice

I wanna tuck Mickey in with his favorite tv show on(911) make him his favorite food to eat in bed and not let anyone but Ian around him for a good 72 hours

The way Ian is looking at him

“Would you take care of me if I was paralyzed?”

“....yeah. Yeah”

“Top you whenever I wanted” “asshole”

His smile is back that’s all I need in life

MICKEY IS TOO GOOD FOR THIS WORLD

RIP DOWN THAT FLAG YES BABY

“That was big of you” “he’s an asshole...I wanna be better than that”

WHEN I TELL YALL I LOST IT I MEAN FULL ON SOBBING

YOURE ALREADY A THOUSAND TIMES BETTER THAN THAT PIECE OF SHIT

YOURE SO KIND AND BRAVE AND BEAUTIFUL INSIDE AND OUT

Ian’s like “back of the head? Gotta grab and hold my boy”

“You are so much better than that” IAN MY SWEET SON IN LAW I LOVE YOU THANK YOU FOR LOVING OUR BOY SO WELL

IAN IS THE MOST SUPPORTIVE HUSBAND

V spitting truth

I want terry to fucking suffer

Don’t do it frank

“Nah” LMAO

Frank loves his son in law

Sandy I love you

I need to hold her

No debbie I LOVE HER

NO SANDY LOVE ME INSTEAD

DEBBIE DOESNT DESERVE YOU

Carl scene was so awful I feel so bad for him this girl is a fucking psycho

That was an actual rape scene what the fuck

Mickey making frank laugh

Debbie explaining? Really?

I hate her

“How long is this gonna take? I’m fucking starving Lip” WHY WONT YOU CALL HIM PHILIP

“We could get on with our lives” well that hurt more than it should’ve

It’s really the end soon huh? 😢

According to captions Ian says “we’re in”

Frank reads his diagnosis

Carl goes to report his rape

That took me nearly two hours to watch. Yeah I usually pause to type but I had to take long breaks after the hard scenes. It was a really hard episode to watch. A lot darker than it has been. I’m not really okay right now. It was emotional but a really good episode overall.

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fox-steward · 3 years

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hi. i hope you don't mind me asking this but i need some advice.

i was born female, and ive always been a tomboy, sometimes in the most stereotypical way. i was also a little lesbian who didn't know it yet. but after my younger sibling came out to me as trans, i started second guessing everything about myself.

for the sake of my sibling, who im closer to than anyone in my life, i learned about what theyre going through to support them and ended up getting taken in myself. i consumed all the yaoi and gay fanfiction they did, i read up on all the identities that were within the trans umbrella and eventually i started to think i wasnt a girl at all, but my infact a feminine transboy.

i never was able to transition on account of my family but the growing inner hate i felt for myself made me want to because deep down I knew that no matterr what i said or believed, id never be the cis gay boys i, essentially, fetishised and craved to be. it made me miserable, but i wanted to be accepted so badly that i stuck with it. but then i fou d your blog and others like it, and reading through it, whole reevaluating myself made me realise how misguided my mindset was.

despite realising that me being a tomboy is perfectly fine, i cant help but cling to that idea of being a boy, even though i have no idea what it means to "be a boy" or "feel like a boy". all i know is what the media portrays boys, feminine boys and gay boys to be like, and i clung to that idea for so long that i believed it to be my identity.

i just wanted to ask, if i can, how can i get over this mindset? i feel terrible because my younger sibling still identifies as trans without a shadow of a doubt, and my questioning of myself makes me feel awful, but i also feel bad because... i dont know who i am really now. how can i just be me again?

sorry this is long. any advice would be very very much appreciated.

it sounds like you’ve been through it, anon. whew! i just wanna acknowledge what a mindfuck you’ve been through, and it’s normal to feel no so great.

i actually think you’re grieving, strange as that sounds, but hear me out. being female is not easy, being a masculine woman comes with its own set of challenges, and imagining yourself as a “gay transboy” was an escape from all that. you could imagine a future for yourself where you grew up to be a gay man, not a gay woman. it’s worth noting relationships between men are the only sexual/romantic pairing that isn’t party to misogyny within the relationship itself.

it’s intoxicating to imagine we could have that ourselves, huh? it happened to me too, and i’m not even actually attracted to males at all, i was really just seduced by the idea of a relationship of equals.

but this. is. a. fantasy. one we as female people can never achieve.

so you’re grieving the vision you had for your future. your grief doesn’t care that the thing you promised yourself is impossible.

you’re undergoing another shift in the way you see yourself, the way you imagine yourself moving through the world. that’s hard, anon. being a tomboy, while absolutely lovely and perfectly fine, can be really difficult in our misogynistic society. it’s like that dworkin quote i’m about to butcher—something something absolutely excruciating to be fully aware of the misogyny all around us. you get the gist. and she’s right, but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth it.

so idk, i don’t have any specific advice, but i do know a lot about grief. with grief, you gotta accept you’re gonna feel shitty for a while and absolve yourself of the responsibility of ~fEeLiNg HaPpY~ for now. i’m being flippant because happiness is a mirage anyway. we get pricks of joy, moments of brightness or laughter, flow and contentment, enjoyment, pleasure, and these fill in between other moments of discomfort or monotony or tedium or malaise or or or. and if we’re lucky we are aware when the good stuff is happening, so that we can pause and say, gee this is nice. and if you get enough of then and you’re aware enough as they’re happening, perhaps you can tie it up in a bow of hindsight and call it contentment.

tangent, sorry. practically, keep yourself busy and tire yourself the fuck out, tbh. when my wife left, i started just going and doing things, anything i didn’t actively NOT want to do. dancing, concerts, art class, bike ride, walk a friends dog, cooking class, sit in a field and listen to music.

just do anything. i know it’s hard during covid, but it isn’t so much WHAT you do but THAT you do. take the field example—you have to travel there (that kills time!) and maybe you walk or bike (that is physical activity) then you do the thing you planned to do (takes more time) and you have to travel home (more time and activity) then you have completed something you set out to do (an achievement/free endorphins).

i also took up running when she left (tire myself the fuck out) and that changed so much for me. with grief, rumination and sleeplessness plagued me; running took both those out of the equation. so my sleep improved, i got stronger and my cardiovascular fitness improved, i ate better, i got to see myself improve and achieve goals, got to build an identity separate from who i was in my marriage. so i cannot recommend running enough.

and as for identity, finding out “who you are”—identity is a trap. don’t cement yourself to any one thing because everything changes. don’t define yourself by externalities, just be open and curious about your inner life, your qualities (which are also able to change btw) and start to strengthen the ones you like, like training a muscle. i practice (literally practice) kindness and discipline, which are important qualities for how i see myself. i also practice at compassion and i like how these things make me feel and how i show up in the world when i’m practicing at them. what qualities will you train in yourself?

you’re not defined in relation to your sibling, btw, and they aren’t defined in relation to you. you can question transness while still loving them.

you’re gonna be just fine, anon. you have plenty of time. grieve the future you can’t have, even though it’s truly for the best, and cultivate a person in yourself you’re excited to be. good luck.

#detrans #detransition #radfem #radical feminism #transgender #gender critical #ftm #asked #answered #anonymous #anon

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inkykeiji · 3 years

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hi clari!! im sorry this isn’t the happy message you probably wanted to read. but i wanna thank you for all the works you’ve published. they help me get away from reality, even if it’s just a little bit. i’m probably oversharing, and for that i’m sorry. i got involved with a guy back in august, and i used to have a huge thing for him. he had recently broken up, but he told he had no plans on getting back together with his ex. he took me on a date and it was great. i liked the way he made me feel. i’ve struggled with my self esteem for years, and being with him felt like a breath of fresh air, after being underwater for so long. he made me feel like i was actually worth something. the second time we met he told he had no plans of dating me, because he’s leaving our hometown this year. and i was fine with that, because i wasn’t ready to let go of that feeling yet. we started seeing each other more and more and then one day things changed. he was distant and then the next day he told me we should end things. i obviously wasn’t ok but i moved on. then i received a message from him a while ago and he acted all sweet and i believed in him, despite everyone telling me not to. he invited me over to his house, i met his mom, his stepdad and his little sister. we had sex for the first time, because i was a virgin and i was so so scared to do it before, but he was really convincing and i let him talk me through it. he asked me to date him. i went home, and then the next day he said we shouldn’t be together because he’s leaving and he doesn’t wanna balance between me and figuring things out all by himself when he moves. again, i wasn’t ok but i tried to move on. i just felt so used. i still do. then i found out he got back together with his ex. i just. don’t get why he would do this. this just doesn’t seem fair. i’m so sorry for just dumping this in your lap and running away. but really, your works have been helping me, a lot. it’s nice to put myself in reader place and think that in that universe, someone loves and cares for me. so thank you. i really mean it.

anon i am getting whiplash from this man

i hope that made you laugh or at least got a teeny smile out of you <33

first things first: i am sincerely sorry that it took me this long to answer this ask. i was having a lot of trouble trying to find the right words and finally realized that there ARE no right words for this. it’s such a shitty, terrible, downright horrible situation to have gone through, and nothing i say can make any of that better, or take any of your pain away, and for that i apologize as well.

all of that being said, my god anon babie i am so, so sorry you’ve had to go through this!!!!! the whole experience is truly awful and heartbreaking and no one deserves to be treated in such a matter. it really does sound exactly like emotional whiplash, which is confusing, hurtful, and utterly exhausting to deal with. based on what you’ve told me, it sounds like he was swinging between these extremes of being very sweet and compassionate to cold and distant the instant he felt like it.

again, i’m sorry it took me a little while to get to this, i just genuinely did not, and still do not, know what to say other than i’m so sorry :(

but i want you to know that your feelings are valid, okay? all of your feelings are so very valid. god, what a fucking jerk!! it honestly makes me see red rereading this ask over and over because like, seriously, who treats a human being like that, you know??? who can act in such a way and have absolutely no remorse for the feelings of those around him??? it just baffles my mind, honestly. it’s so incredibly selfish and i want you to know that you genuinely deserve so much better than this. you’re entirely right, it ISN’T fair. it isn’t fair to you, and it isn’t fair to anyone else he’s pulling this shit with. it’s entirely self-centered and completely insensitive, and i’m disgusted that someone could actually act that way without feeling the slightest hint of guilt for what they’re making others go through!!!

anon, please listen to me. you DO deserve love and care, okay? you deserve love and care and compassion and honesty and understanding and healthy communication and a million other things, i pinky promise you. absolutely no one should be treated in the manner this guy treated you.

i’m sorry there isn’t more i can say to make it better. thank you from the bottom of my heart for the kind comments regarding my work; they mean so very much to me. it is an honour to hear that my writing can temporarily distract you and ease a bit of that pain, even if it's just for a little while. that is such a special thing to be told, thank you <3

#stay strong sweetpea <3 you are SO much better than that and you DESERVE so much better than that #i love u so much #i hope you see this #i appreciate you so much #please know that i am cheering for you!!! and sending you tons and tons of love #stay safe & take good care of yourself okay??? you deserve it!! <33333 #and if you DO see this then i hope this response helps at least a little <3 #i'm just so sorry #inky.bb #clari gets mail

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itstittycitybaby · 4 years

Text

Flirty (Lin Beifong x reader) Part 6

a/n: bro. im having to cram all my ideas and edit it. i have so many plans for these next couple of parts and im excited to write them. i want to say that this chapter has self harm in it along with some other heavy topics. idk if anyone actually reads author’s notes so there will be a trigger warning below. the self harm is caused from anxiety and an anxiety attack/anger moments. please be careful and if you are struggling with self harm, or struggling right now. i encourage you to reach out to someone because someone out there cares about you. as always be safe, ily guys

WARNINGS: ANXIETY ATTACKS, SELF HARM, PTSD/TRAUMA FLASHBACKS, CHILD ABUSE, DEPRECATING THOUGHTS

The room was dark and dingy. The cold air was freezing and the table you were cuffed to didn’t help your comfort either. Your wrists were sore from wiggling and shifting so much. The rawness in your throat from crying and screaming throbbed. You didn’t care if the guards heard you anymore. It’s not like they’d come back in here for hospitality. You were alone again. This was the thing you had to face by yourself.

“It always comes back to this with you doesn’t it?” Her harsh words played on repeat in your brain. The shadows in the dark giggled and whispered amongst themselves. You were frozen and trapped in that awful chair that dug into your ass. You were a victim to the dark’s cruel and twisted ways as its children mocked you with their laughter. This room was perfect for you.

Lin knew you hated the dark. She would hold you tightly and kiss your tears away when it got bad. Those memories used to bring warmth but now they plunged you further into the icy waters of your mind. It made you gasp for air and it forced you to cling tightly onto the past. You laughed and cried as you stayed, rotting in that interrogation room. Time felt endless from being alone in the dark. It always bothered you when there wasn’t a way to tell it.

You hissed in pain as your fingernails dug into your palms. They burned as you kept pressing them into your hands harshly. The red stinging pain filled your senses;the red became deeper as you refused to let go. You whimpered out into the cell, its echoes carrying out from the room and to anyone who passed by.

They weren’t totally cruel. A guard had come in with a lantern before the metal shields closed. They left it on the table without a word and left quietly. They were like a ghost and quiet enough to make you believe you had imagined it. The flame that flickered in the lantern barely did anything to keep the fear at bay. At least it was something, though.

It was eerily quiet. You couldn’t hear anything from outside. Inside held your wails and cries that fell on deaf ears. Your voice was hoarse from screaming and sobbing so hard. The soreness in your throat made you parched. There was no water for you to drink, so you sat there unmoving. Now, you just watched the flame lazily flicker and dance in its little casing.

You fingernails lifted from your palms. They stung like hell and burned so fucking bad. You felt hollow and empty. All the tears you had shed and the mourning you endured now left you with a hollow pit.

She was so angry with you. The tears in her eyes and her tone shook with betrayal as she spat venomous words that had cut into your heart. You didn’t know what to feel. Scared, angry, hurt, betrayed. Aiwei, the bastard, had the perfect alibi. Of course he’d use a traveler and pin it on them. Someone who hadn’t seen the Beifongs in so long, but still knew them. It was perfect.

No one believed you. Not Korra, not Mako, not Suyin. Not even Lin. Could you even blame them? It all fell into place. Aiwei is a bastard, but you’d give credit where it was due. The plan was fucking brilliant, he was brilliant.

The interrogation room reminded you of home. The coldness from your mother and the isolation you had faced due to not being the child they had wanted. Everything in your life was a fucking metaphor now. The metaphor always tracked back to your shitty childhood and your shitty life. The terror and the isolation was always the thing that came to comfort you in the end, with open arms. It was ironic;.the thing that had been killing you for the past thirty fucking years had finally caught up to you. Its embrace was all too familiar. The warmth it held welcomed you loving, but its thorns sunk into your skin eventually.

****

He was crying again. You could hear his wails through the thin walls of the hut. His sobs made you feel horrible, knowing all you could do was stand by the pot. Stir, stir, stir. The wooden spoon stirred the stew your mother asked you to make. Stir, stir, stir. She sat behind you on the floor, staring into the fire. Stir, stir, stir. The stew was red and its heat warmed your face. All you could focus on was the soft stirring of the wooden spoon and the smell. It was a very cold night tonight, so your mother kept the fire warm.

Your eyes stayed on the stew in front of you. Dee’s crying kept getting louder and louder. You felt helpless, trapped there in the kitchen as Dee kept crying. You were rooted to the spot; you knew better than to disobey. You were no good to your brother if you got hurt too. The leverage your mother and father held was strong. It was easy to manipulate and make a person compliant when you dangled what they cared about in front of them like a carrot.

Stir, stir, stir. It was done. “Mamma,” you called softly, “it’s finished.” She didn’t say anything. She kept peering into the fire, observing the flames flickering on the wood. She was alway entranced by fire, even though she’d seen it all her life.You set the spoon down on the counter softly. Your meek footsteps barely creaked on the floor. You stood a couple of feet away from her. Her back faced you stubbornly. “Mamma,” you called again, timidly. No answer. Slowly, you lowered your hand on her shoulder. Smack! You flinched, pulling your hand away. The skin reddened and it stung. “Don’t touch me!”

“Sorry ma,” you whispered, trying to keep your voice from cracking. She didn’t say anything but slowly rose up. Your hand was hot and inspecting it closely you realized it. Your mother had burned you. The edges of your vision became blurry until it was hard to see. Your throat tightened and you struggled to breathe.

Your mother paid you no mind. She grabbed three bowls out and began scooping them with stew. Dee’s sobs turned into whimpers. They played like a mantra in your head over and over. Your hand began to sting more and your throat started to hurt from the stone you were trying hard to swallow. Even as Dee’s whimpers became a crescendo again, all you could think about was stir, stir, stir.

****

You hit your head smack dab on the table. Must’ve fallen asleep. You looked around drowsily and focused on the on the sun’s raise peeking through the windows. It seemed to be early evening. The muscles in the back of your neck had become cramped along with your back. Your ass was numb from the stiff chair you were trapped to. You didn’t even wanna think about your wrists.

The ground rumbled beneath you. The table shook and the lantern rattled. You watched it nervously, praying to the spirits that it didn’t fall and break. After a few moments, the rumbling stopped.

The lantern sat dangerously on the edge of the table but everything else seemed fine. Ears straining, you held your breath and focused for any signs of life. Nothing. You sighed, looking down at your wrist.

The cuffs hid the cyan string bracelet you stubbornly kept on after all these years. Though you couldn’t see it, you knew it was there. It gave you hope. Someone out there still cared about you. Someone out there still loved you. Even if he had forgotten about you, the bracelet served a reminder. That someone at some point, had given you a chance.

***

The door slammed open. You shot your head up. The impact from the door echoed among the cold and dark room. You squinted into the room. The sunlight poured in, blinding you. You hissed, screwing your eyes shut.

“(Y/N?)”

Suyin.

Her face fell. You looked rough. It had been only a couple hours since you were taken in. She was filled with regret at your sullen eyes. The bags under them looked dark and heavy.

“You can get out now,” Suyin said softly. Two guards entered the room and the cuffs opened with a clack. You looked down at your wrists. Your eyes widened at the sight of them. They had angry red marks around them and they were sore. You hissed as you gently pressed your fingers on them and rubbed softly. “Why,” you whispered, voice croaking.

“Aiwei was the traitor.” Su’s eyes shimmered with remorse as she stood there. She glanced down at your wrists. “We should get you to a healer.” You shook your head stubbornly. Placing your hand on the table, you slowly got up. Your ass burned from being forced to sit for so long. Your joints felt like they were on fire, and your feet wobbled as you made you way towards her.

“Please,” Suyin asked. “You must be in so much pain right now.” She had always been stubborn, just like her sister. “Maybe,” you whispered. Her eyes flashed with worry at your sullen expression. The rawness in your voice worried her.

You had hoped Lin had come instead. It hurt all the more knowing she didn’t come instead of Su. You hoped, stupidly, she’d sweep you in her arms and apologize profusely while kissing your face all over. But she didn’t. She left you in that room to rot. Lin had to have found out by now that Aiwei was the traitor. So why didn’t she come for you yourself? I’m just not special, you thought bitterly. She’s gone just like everyone else. She’s done with me.

“I’m so sorry,” Suyin muttered as the two of you left the interrogation room. She refused to leave you alone until you made it to your rooms. You furrowed your brows in confusion. “It’s fine,” you rasped. Su shook her head. “No it’s not and you know that.”

You didn’t say anything. There was nothing left to say. You grabbed her hand and gently squeezed. Suyin lifted her up head, shocked. You didn’t know why you did it. It could have been the isolation that had gnawed into your brain and made you needy. Or, if you tried hard enough, Suyin wasn’t there. In your mind it was Lin standing beside you instead.

****

Your room was torn to shreds. Several plans for new gadgets and tweaks on your weapons were now destroyed. Smashed parts from new projects glinted on the floor. Suyin wanted to stay and help but you shooed her away. You wanted to be alone while you picked up the pieces. You didn’t want nobody to witness you as you fell. Most people came back to a warm loving family after being away. You got to come home to a ruined and smashed room, with a bitter reminder of all your hard work being spilled down the drain in a matter of seconds.

You swallowed the tears in your eyes and scanned your destroyed room once more. You felt nothing more than a husk. The silence rung in your ears. Your breathing was roaring compared to the quiet.

Azure and Ruby were still missing. The space with their birdcage and food were gone. It made that part of the room was bland and empty. “Assholes,” you ground out bitterly. “Had to go so far as to stealing my fucking birds too.” You threw your turtle neck off forcefully, flinging it against the wall along with your trousers. The draws slammed open from the force of your anger. You pulled out a black tank top and pajama pants. The joints in your bones burned as you tugged your clothes on. They felt comfortable and loose on your skin. It made you sigh with relief and give you some sense of comfort. You trembled as you inspected your room. Your eyes flitted across the damaged state and the tears came rushing back. The fury that had been curling around your heart was threatening to let loose. Let go, a voice whispered. Just let me go.

Knock knock. “Can’t I just be alone for five fucking minutes?” You stomped over to the door, turning the handle. You wanted to be alone so no one would have to see it. See the breakdown and the fall you haven’t had in a long time. The thing that was keeping you together was threatening to snap. You were going to slip from the rope that dangled in the sky and crash into the ground.

Your heart stopped. She stood there with Azure and Ruby in their cage. It all came rushing back. The dark room, the disgust, the hatred in her eyes, and you never really meant anything to me.

“Lin,” you muttered thickly. “What a surprise.” You looked down to Azure and Ruby. They were sleeping soundly in the cage they hated. Anytime you had to put them in there they squwaked and pecked you into you bled. Lin’s hands had little scratches and marks on her hands. You shoved the guilt down and replaced it with something easier to feel. Pettiness, smugness.

“Can I come in?” Her voice was strained. She tried so hard to focus on keeping eye contact with you. Lin didn’t want to cry on your doorstep and have the whole world see what was about to occur. You were silent for a few moments. She deserved to have the door slammed in her face and to be told to fuck off. She had left you cuffed to a table for two hours and refused to listen to anything you had to say. Most of all, Lin told you she didn’t love you anymore.

She waited patiently. It all felt so weird, like a dream or a film. What if this wasn’t real? What if you were still cuffed to that table and had fallen asleep again. You wanted to yell at her, or scream at her for leaving you there broken hearted. You hated that deep down, you wanted Lin to hold you and tell you everything was alright. You hated how easy it was to crawl back to her like some fucking sick puppy.

You swallowed harshly. There were tears in your eyes and you nodded. It was slow and sluggish from the way you had jutted your chin out. You left the door way and moved so she could come in. Lin followed after you, closing the door with a soft click. The quiet clinking of her armor pounded in your head. It was the only thing you could focus or you’d drown in the tension that crackled in the air.

Lin set Azure and Ruby on the table gently. They didn’t stir from their sleep, making them look more peaceful. Her green eyes swept over the destroyed room. They followed to the turned over books and sheets, to the paper that had been ripped onto the floor. Lin saw the red and raw marks across your wrists. She felt awful looking at the state of your room but seeing you hurt because of her? Lin didn’t know what to feel.

It was silent for a bit. The both of you waiting for the other to say something. Lin was awful with confrontation and apologizing. You used to be patient with her. Your eyes would be soft as you waited for her words. Now, they were cold and hollow, peering into her soul. You were tired of waiting; you wanted this to be over with.

“You have some balls Beifong,” you said, chuckling. There was no humor or lightness to it. It was the calm before the storm. Before it all blew over and went to hell.

She gulped. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. Her voice had cracked slightly. There were tears in her beautiful green eyes. “I’m so sorry.”

You laughed. Lin’s eyes snapped up to you. It cut through the air as sharp as a knife. It sounded empty and bitter. “A sorry? A fucking sorry? What makes you think a sorry is going to make it all better Lin? What you said can’t be undone. You said what you said and that’s that.”

The tears fell freely now. You didn’t want to move and wipe them away. You wanted Lin to see what she had done. Maybe you were too angry or bitter, but you wanted her to regret it. Most of all, you wanted to love her again.

All you could feel was the rage. The way it curdled dangerously in your veins. You loved her, you loved her so fucking much and you hate that you still did. She had shoved you in a cramped room. She told you that she was done and that she didn’t love you anymore. Worst of all, Lin didn’t trust you and she never did. You were just another shitty person in her eyes. You were nothing but another endless blob in the back of her mind. Lin didn’t care about you.

“I didn’t want it to come to this, I-I never wanted to hurt you. All those things I said were a lie. Please, believe me... I do care about you and I want you to stay in my life.. I want you to be here with me.”

Lin’s eyes shimmered with tears. You watched one fall down to the side of her cheek. You folded your arms and read her. There was nothing but honesty in her eyes. Your lip quivered as more tears fell. You felt like throwing up from the nerves and the anger that threatened to burst.

“I’m tired of pretending. I’m tired of acting like this. That..I’m not happy you’re back and that I hate you. Even when you left I couldn’t hate you for being gone. I-I don’t blame you at all. I was..cold and bitter..I didn’t listen to your feelings..Even now I still didn’t listen..but I want to make things right.”

She bit her trembling lip and cried. Her tears were silent. Lin had always been a quiet crier. She would cry and make sure there was no sign of it afterwards. Lin used to say it was because being angry was better than being sad. You guessed she still thought the same even after all these years.

“It hurts. It fucking hurts. I want to hate you and I-I want to hold onto to the anger..but I can’t. I still love you even after all of this. After all this-” you choked on a whimper. You sniffled, feeling disgusting that snot was sliding out of your nose.

You wiped your eyes delicately. Lin’s eyes were puffy and red along with her nose and cheeks. She hung on every word you said. “Please,” she whispered, “I’ll do anything. Let me make this right.”

You scoffed. There was a smile on your face. It was one of disbelief and you couldn’t help but laugh at it all. At the world crashing around the two of you. It seemed like a never ending reality. The two of you would always suffer together and always have the world trying to end.

“Why should I? Why should I give you a second chance Lin? After all this? Leaving me in that shitty cell and having Suyin free me from those cuffs?”

Lin barely flinched. If it were anyone else they wouldn’t have caught it. But you weren’t everyone else. You were the only thing that Lin knew was worth fighting for.

“I don’t know,” she said. Her voice faltered but it still held strength. Her posture was tight and strong. Lin always faced the danger and the dark with a brave face. Even now she seemed to cower but she still faced your rage and the hurt that lingered in your eyes.

“Oh my god,” you muttered in disbelief. “You don’t know?” Lin was silent as she tried to read you. Your eyes were red and they were slightly crazed. She could tell that your stress levels were high. Your eyes fell from her piercing gaze and instead you focused on the room around you. On the failure your life had become. The one you had built anew was destroyed into a matter of minutes. Everything was gone and all you were was a hollow husk, left to drift away in the wind.

“No. I don’t. But I still love you. It’s all I know. I-I know nothing else but this.” Lin choked slightly and she breathed in deeply before continuing. “I want to fight for this. I want to be able to love you again.”

You laughed. It was sharp and turned into a wheeze. Lin’s brows furrowed in concern as you hobbled over. She rushed to your side as your knees hit the floor. There were tears streaming down your face rapidly and your breathing was irregular.

Lin’s hands cupped your face. “Breathe, breathe with me. It’s okay, you’re going to be okay.” Her thumbs brushed your tears from your face gently. Lin’s eyes watered with tears again as she held you there in her arms.

“It hurts,” you whimpered, “It hurts so bad.” “I know,” Lin whispered, her voice faltering. “I’m so sorry, I should’ve believed you. I should’ve listened to you but instead I let my anger get the best of me and hurt you instead. And I’m so so sorry.”

You clutched her arms tightly. “I could see him in there. I could see Dee. He was crying he was..he was..” “Shh,” Lin shushed you gently. “It wasn’t your fault. Nothing you could have done would allow that to happen. I wish I could take it all back. I wish I turned around and uncuffed you right there so you wrists wouldn’t be so bruised. Then you wouldn’t have to suffer through that alone.”

Your swallowed the lump in your throat. All you could hear were the sniffles from your nose as Lin rocked you gently.

After a while, you wiggled out of her hold. It was quiet again and you could feel Lin’s eyes peering into your back as you turned to Azure and Ruby. “Thank you..for taking care of them.” Lin’s lips quivered as she pulled them into a smile. “Of course. They’re wonderful birds.” You helped her up from the floor. There was still more to be said but the air felt better. It didn’t feel as tight around your throat anymore and the sadness settled lighter in your chest..

“Thank you for the apology.” Lin watched you carefully. Your eyes bored holes into Ruby. They were blissfully unaware of what was going on. “But I can’t accept it right now.”

Lin nodded. Another tear fell from her eye. “I understand.” She moved to your door slowly. Her hand clenched the handle. “I still love you,” you choked out. “I-I..I just need some time.” Lin turned to you. Her smile didn’t reach her eyes and there were tears flowing down her cheeks. “I’ll wait for you. I will always wait for you.”

****

After Lin left, you hurried into the bathroom to look at yourself. Everything made your head slightly spin and your skin felt clammy. Your reflection peered back at you in the mirror. Your eyes were sunken in and your skin looked sickly.You felt your chest tightened as you choked on the crisp air. The panic hit you like a sack of bricks after spending so fucking long in that shitty room. The confrontation with Lin was the final nail in the coffin. You felt dreary and exhausted as you stood there. The adrenaline had finally wore off and pain flooded in every bone in your body. Everyone had thought you were a traitor. They had looked at you with disgust and hate. Like you were some kind of junk to discard. Lin had turned against you and had the guards shove you into the cramped interrogation room, knowing your fear of the dark. She wanted nothing to do with you anymore and left you to rot. But then she came running back, crying and asked for forgiveness.

Were you too cruel? Should you have told her it was okay? You were awful to say those things to her. You should apologize and tell her it’s all okay, that it was your fault instead. The guilt came flooding with remorse and anger. It became a deafening roar in your ears as it threatened to swallow you. You should have just stayed quiet and been a good girl like your mother had taught you.

Crack! Your fists bashed against the mirror in front of you. Glass shards flew onto the floor, slicing your hands. Your knuckles and palms filled with a burning hot pain. All you could see was the red and the white filling your vision. The rage and the suffering had finally been freed. It swept all around like heavy smoke and curled it’s whisps around your heart. All you could feel was the heat inside of your chest and the wrath that prickled your veins.

You looked down and saw that your hands had been cut open. Glass shards had dug its way into your skin. The sharp points had pierced your palms good enough that blood gurgled to the surface. Then, it became numb again. The stinging pain in your hands was replaced by adrenaline again. You felt nothing as you bashed your fist against the mirror for a second time. Then another followed suit. The mantra of the sickening crack was the only thing that rung in your ears. It was the only thing you could hold onto.

Blood slid from the broken mirror. It dripped from the bottom of the ridge to the sink beneath it. The drops turned into splatters once it oozed onto the white porcelain. Your fingers blazed once the ringing in your ears wore off. The glass in your palms and fists pricked your skin like thorns. You laughed bitterly. Tears sailed from your eyes. The black mold on the cabinet that held the glass stared back at you. At least I can’t see myself anymore, you thought, trying to smile. Your lips quivered as more tears fell from your puffy eyes.

Cleaning would have to come another day. You sank to the ground with your knees hitting the tile. They clinked against the glass on the floor. Your thighs stretched with a burn as you kneeled there on the ground. You were just bad as your parents. They hurt and killed everything they touched. It was futile to try and resist; this was your destiny.

*****

The closet was dark. Dee sat in your lap clinging onto you. The closet was cramped, barely fitting the two of you. It felt like the walls were pushing up against you. The closet muffled your mother and father’s screams. They shouted at one another. “When are they gonna stop,” Dee asked, digging his fingers into your tunic.

A plate smashed against the wall. The both of you flinched and Dee whimpered. “I don’t know,” you whispered. The air was heavy and made it feel like you were choking on it every time you tried to breathe in. “I’m scared.” You swallowed the pit in your throat and pulled Dee closer. “It’s gonna be okay,” you said softly, “I promise.”

You rocked him on your lap. Your knees and thighs burned from kneeling on the floor for so long. Your arms felt heavy as you held Dee close, humming. The screaming didn’t stop for a while. Some glass shattered on impact of being thrown. You hummed over your mother’s weeping, trying to drown it out.

You told yourself that it would be alright. That they wouldn’t hurt Dee or you if you stayed still. It was all going to be okay one day. Yet, even as you rocked your younger brother, something told you that things would never change.

#lin beifong x reader #lin beifong #legend of korra #legend of kora x reader #x reader #reader insert #fan fiction #fanfic #fanfiction #fan fic

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atiny-piratequeen · 3 years

Note

Dear Miss Fie, yesterday, I made up my mind to leave Tumblr. I even said goodbye to anyone. I hadn't logged out, so I got notifications. Against my better judgement, i decided to check it and ended up spending a good few minutes on it. When I saw what happened with your account, I'm very embarrassed. I feel mortified actually. That someone who hates me is going after you. I'm glad that Mr Lilac, Ms Atinyarmy and Ms yunhofingers whom I know defended you. I genuinely and wholeheartedly apologise. I was not thinking of deactivating. But if I do, maybe if do it this could end. I feel so awful. I just... I'm sorry.

I legit don't know why you're apologizing. Im sorry if this comes off weird sounding but you're not the first person I've defended and had hate anons come to my box and bark and woof at me from behind their little wall of anonymity. You wont be the last.

You and the dumbass "anon" following me are new to my blog so you dont know how i work here so I'll just tell you flat out what people who've been following me for a while already know;

There's not a single thing some fuckass on anon can say to me that will legitimately make me take them seriously. Ive always had the mentality that if you've got something to fucking say, you say it with your chest and people talking shit on anon are only solidifying that every time they spew whatever bullshit from their mouth, they're not even remotely ready to own up to the consequences of their own actions. They hide because they wanna talk shit and dont wanna have people tell others about their actions if they're an active blog, dont wanna be kicked from nets or blocked, dont wanna deal with other people dming them and sending them asks that are just as harassing or tear apart whatever they sent someone else.

Thats why anons send hate on anon. Because they're cowards.

This person deleted their blog. Made a whole new one, new email and all, and came back to me conviently the same day you said you'd leave to...? Continue making a fucking fool out of themselves. They literally didnt make me upset in the slightest yesterday and i can assure you my friends and i spent a jolly good time fucking laughing at them for their piss poor attempt to do so. They're my fan at this point, hope they kick back and read a few fics since they're already here swimming around my blog all in my business again.

And the thing about the bullshit display we saw yesterday is yall all got to see the same ignorant shit i was sending scs for in my dms. This person with their shitty grammar and their anti black ass mentality that lines up with some drunk ass white karen in walmart in 3am annoying people about "why cant it just be ALL lives matter" ass vibes. I can assure you. Not a single thing that stale granola bar yesterday said actually did anything to me.

You dont need to apologize for shit. If i was worried about someone coming to my blog and saying something to me for defending you, i would have went on anon to defend you, i wouldn't have dropped this blog instead of my main, i wouldn't have dmmed that person first when they were harassing you. I could care less about them being in my ask box and while i appreciate the others having my back, even if they didnt, i would've been fine handling Ronald McDonald the clown in my box just fine.

As I've said, you arent the first person I've stood up for and defended and suddenly had bitch ass anons in my box and you won't be the last. Thats just what Mama Fie does. Now stop apologizing on behalf of someone else's ignorance, drink some water, have a snack or a meal, and enjoy your day. Because baby i assure you, im doing just fine here.

#asks #vixenwerr #yea lol dont apologize for that i legit was laughing with the others in vc for like an hour #ive dealt with hate anons from the bean situation to the ksc situation to atiny voting to blm to-#like legit i dont care and this person here wasnt even a fraction as put together as some other anons im not worried about this fool #long post

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stonyiscanon · 4 years

Text

socially awkward! peter parker x oblivious shit! reader

read: peter has a heart attack every time he talks to you because you’re too pretty and nice oof

lmfao just experimenting some new head canon//writing styles lmk what you guys think 🥺

it’s essentially a crack fic i have no regrets.

Warnings: an excessive amount of exclamation points used, overload of fluff, it might be little TOO crack-y if that’s even possible for me, a confusing amount of POV switches. ok it’s just shitty writing would you please read it.

Words: 4.8k this be a baby fic

Genre: fluffity fluff, idiots to lovers, high school! reader, god just read the title.

my masterlist is here if you want more shit

talk to me! be my friend please im lonely

peter first meets you when you’re new to midtown and you get sorted into his science class.

you sat in front of him your very first day and yeah he’s been soft™ for you ever since

like no joke the first time he saw your face he freezed up and choked on his banana

‘oh nO NED!!! she’s PRETTY!!’

‘like, REALLY pretty!!! S H I T’

‘um,,... okay ain’t that a good thing you sit behind her in class!! maybe you can ask for her number or something—‘

oh hohohohoho ned my friend,,

N O

ABSOLUTELY NOT

peter parker has spoken to you a total of twenty-two (22) times within the whole year that you’ve been... acquaintances?? classmates?? ….. friends???

and his fat secret crush on you will STAY A SECRET THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

he’ll die before he asks you out or makes a move because there’s no way in hell peter has a chance with you, the beautiful new girl.

‘i mean, she’s not just beautiful too! she’s so smart, and i know that because i can literally see all her notes from behind her and she gets like, basically all A’s, but she doesn’t even know she’s smart and beautiful?? like, she never raises her hand in class even though i know she knows all th-’

you would think ned would be tired of peter’s ‘shit I’m in LOVE’ rants by now, he’s not because we stan supportive friend ned.

hehe little does he know his big fat secret crush may not be,, totally unrequited

👀

oKAY so maybe you have a humongous tiny crush on the dorky cute guy who sits behind you in science class

WHAT ABOUT IT not like he likes you back anyways.

that one time you asked him for a pencil he looked like he was having an aneurysm!! like okay, are you that hideous or—?

(yeah it totally doesn’t hurt at all that the cute guy you like is repulsed by your presence and seems to ignore you and tense up whenever you’re around)

(t o ta ll y) 🤡

yeah y/n kinda dumb in this because the entire student body knows about peter’s (not so secret lmFAO) crush on you

everyone lOwkEy ships it

ned is president of the petery/n shipper fanclub

that may be because he’s the only member in aforementioned fanclub but you two have many supporters outside the fanclub

ned hypes peter up everytime science class comes around and peter gets kinda confident when he walks in the classroom

‘yeah! i got this!! maybe this time i won’t stare at her hair creepily and then run aw-‘

‘hey peter!’

asjkdjejnxHAUXINENEIAIRJBSJS

ABORT NEVERMIND I DONT GOT THIS ASKXISNNDKSN

peters brain has left the building

and he kinda stares at you for a sec and runs off to his seat at the back

hm, yeah he definitely doesn’t like you

you sigh as you take your seat in front of him, trying to ignore how your love for this dork is completely one sided

the entire class wants to throttle both of you

so then for the sake of the cliche and the plot (did you heart that fourth wall break?? nvm i didn’t hear nothin)

gasp group project time??!?!?!?!

dang who could have saw this coming

totally unexpected

wow

peter is half hoping to get you and half DREADING to

because he knows if he gets you he’ll be able to spend time with you but 300% won’t be able to function and will most certainly fail this project

but i mean who cares about grades.

in a plot twist that literally no one saw coming,,,

‘betty and liz, you’ll be doing yours on atomic structure,

and peter and y/n are partners! you’ll be doing...’

oh nO

you’re partnered up with peter!

i mean this is great news you get to stare at his precious face more but you’re basically forcing him to spend time with someone he doesn’t like!!

so you turn around and you give him an apologetic and (cute as FXCK) small smile

meanwhile, peter combusts

one look at your smile and he just knows he’s completely fucked

like he physically uwus so hard he slams his head on the table

‘oh! are.. you okay? i mean, is working with me really going to be that bad?’

awkward laugh to hide the pain,, quick y/n!!

‘nO!! i mean, no, absolutely not that’s not what i- it wasn’t my- i didn’t m-‘

you smile a little sadly this time and say,

‘don’t worry about it, i know you don’t like me. it’s only two weeks anyway. i promise i won’t take much of your time.’

wait. hold up. back up here. wha-? wHO doesn’t like W HO??

‘wait what do you mea-‘

‘don’t worry about it. wanna meet at the library after school to get a head start on this?’

‘uh, yeah. i mean- cowabunga…!’

wat

shit peter has never wanted to die more in his entire life

so he does what any other normal person would do and yEEts out the classroom full speed

leaving you slightly hurt but mostly just confused

peter strolls in the library casually attempting to strain his neck 360 degrees to look for you

he looks like a chicken and also that’s humanly impossible but leave him be he’s iN LOVE

he spots you on one of the study tables. he takes a deep breath,, and walks over

‘hey!! sorry i’m a little late, uh, something… came up haha’

acting like the poor boy didn’t stand outside the library for fifteen minutes thinking about what he was going to say to you

‘no worries!’ you shoot him another one of those painfully adorable smiles and peter wants nothing more but to give that smile a smooch because damn that is a face that deserves smooches

but he also has a tiny feeling that maybe you might not appreciate it if he randomly kissed you out of nowhere

(you would not mind at all but he doesn’t know that)

‘so yeah! ready to compare the wonders of chemistry and motion physics?’ peter says, bending down to snatch his backpack up to the table (effectively hiding his red cheeks)

you snort as you prop your elbows onto the table, resting your head on your hands.

‘the wonders? hm, i really can’t tell whether you’re being serious or not. guess you really are a dork.’

you giggle a little bit before you catch sight of peter looking like a gaping fish. you immediately slam your hands down, perhaps a little too loudly considering you’re in a library, and blurt out,

‘uh, I was.. joking! making a joke, in case, you know, that wasn’t obvious.’ You awkwardly hide your face between your fingers and squeak out a small apology

‘nO! no, no, don’t worry about it. yeah, I am a dork, so… yeah, i’m not offended, or anything. uh- just, yeah, don’t worry about it.’

well, that ruined the flow of conversation peter was so desperate to keep up with

none of you speak for a bit, opting to look around the very interesting library walls instead, until peter clears his throat and brings up motion physics again

yeah! this will be fine. all you have to focus on is science, and NOT peter’s very soft kissable lips and how good he looks in his light green coloured sweater

huh

oh no

desperately attempting to clear your mind, you try and focus on what he’s saying instead

it’s just SCIENCE, y/n. focus on the SCIENCE.

this distraction just-concentrate-on-the-work technique works for about the next hour or so as you guys study and work on this project

everything is going great!

you two have an organised google doc full of research and a finished introduction! you’re being extremely productive!

both of you are doing an amazing job at hiding your mutual (except none of you know it’s mutual) attraction!

so as you walk out the library beside peter some time later, you’re smiling softly, because even if your massive crush isn’t reciprocated, you and peter can maybe at least be friends by the end of this, right?

he didn’t even look like he detested you as much as usual today

maybe that’s because he was pretty much forced into cooperating with you because of this project, but you even caught him smiling at you today, so he must be warming up to you

which is great news, of course

peter swallows down his fear and the excessive amount of spit that is coating his tongue and turns to you

‘so, this was really fun’

you tilt your head, mildly horrified at his words

‘we need to stage you an intervention if a science project is something you classify as ‘fun’’

‘no, i mean, the science was kinda boring. spending time with you was really fun. ….right?’

oh good, he isn’t actually a complete monster who does science for fun

(he totally is but you don’t need to know that)

‘yeah! hanging out was really fun, even if we had to spend that time doing work’

you shudder and cringe when you mention ‘work’, because there are much more interesting things you’d rather be doing with peter

👀

‘yep.’

‘yeeep.’

‘so, we should meet up again to work on this… project. right?’ you’re shifting your weight and darting your eyes across the floor, desperately avoiding peter’s gaze.

‘yeah!!’

oof maybe that was a little too enthusiastic. maybe you didn’t notice?

‘i mean, yeah… yeah, totally. sounds… chill.’

oh god that’s worse isn’t it

‘great!’

cue awkward silence

‘so… um… can I maybe have your number?’

you stare blankly at him trying to conceal your excitement because did PETER PARKER just ask for YOUR number?!?!?!

oh no why aren’t you saying anything crapcrapcrap this is peter’s first time asking for ANYONE’S number did he mess up oh no he messed up didn’t he.

‘you know, for the project!!!!! haha!!!!’

oh. of course he wouldn’t actually want your number

*sigh these oblivious fucks I stg i’m the one who’s actually writing this and I want to throttle them*

‘oh… yeah, no problem! um, here’s my number’

‘cool! i’ll text you then!’

from peter p [12:48]

Hey y/n!! Um this is Peter btw. Peter Parker. From science class.

to peter p [12:49]

hey peter!

from peter p [12:49]

So if it’s cool w u do you want to meet up at my place? For the project haha, just figured a change of scenery might be nice. The library can get a little bit boring sometimes.

to peter p [12:49]

yeah sounds cool just send me ur address and i’ll be over after skl tdy if that’s ok

from peter p [12:50]

Yep awesome see u then

to peter p [12:50]

see u! :))

that smiley face almost makes his heart burst god he’s so whipped for you.

then the panic kicks in.

‘OHMYGOD Y/N Y/L/N IS COMING OVER.’

peter spends like three hours making sure the apartment is SPOTLESS.

spends like half an hour trying to decide whether he should take down all the Star Wars memorabilia down from his walls

like, he doesn’t want you to think he’s a DORK.

(too late peter)

but then ultimately keeps them up, partly because shit you’re coming in like 5 minutes he doesn’t have time for this

but also, you’re a nice person! you surely won’t make fun of him for having a knockoff replica of the death star in his room.

hopefully

oh god if you make fun of him for being a Star Wars nerd he will break down in tears HE HAS TO TAKE THEM DOWN

*ding*

fuck

peter stands up from his spinney chair abruptly and scrambles towards front door.

he spent some time this morning with Aunt May for girl advice and nothing really came out of that except a very traumatizing safe sex talk and some teasing that he will never be able to erase from his memory.

he takes a fast detour and quickly stops in front of the bathroom mirror on his way to open the door, desperately trying to tame the mop of curls and his head.

did I put on deodorant this morning? crap I brushed my teeth right?

*ding*

FUCK

peter stops in front of the door, takes a deep breath and-

‘hey!’ a strangled greeting comes out of his throat but hopefully you don’t notice how nervous he is.

you don’t, because this is oblivious shit!reader

‘hi peter!’

peter is suddenly very aware of how long you have been standing outside.

‘oH! sorry, um come in!!’ he says, opening the door wider and welcoming you in with (overly?) enthusiastic arms.

‘yeah! make yourself at home and everything. you want a drink or something?’

‘water would be nice.’

peter sprints to the kitchen to get you some ICE COLD water in his favourite mug.

peter parker’s apartment is covered with cosy furniture and photos of him and another middle aged woman. half those photos are him and that woman smiling brightly into the camera.

there’s a photo that’s nicely framed above the mantle that shows a young peter beaming in front of a birthday cake, with that same woman and another unknown middle aged man smiling down at him. the photo is clearly old and crumpled, even with the frame around it.

peter looks so happy in that photo…

huh. baby peter is just as adorable as he is now.

you jump away from the photo when you hear his footsteps coming back into the living room. something about the photo seemed emotional, personal. it just didn’t seem like something you should be looking at.

peter comes back clutching two mugs and hands one to you.

‘nice place!’

‘oh, thanks… yeah my Aunt isn’t home right now, she’s downtown meeting some friends, so we have the place to ourselves……’

‘so we can study uninterrupted.’ he says.

oh of course, studying!! yep that’s exactly where your mind went when peter said the apartment was empty aHaH.

peter’s room is a little less adult than the rest of his apartment, flooded with polaroids of him and Ned, with Star Wars posters on the walls.

you ignore the pang of jealousy that you feel when you spot a photo of MJ and peter grinning in front of a bowling alley.

so for the next two hours you two are in peter’s room… studying vigorously.

you would be 100% lying if you said you weren’t disappointed only studying happened.

the weird thing is???

every time you would look down at your textbook to explain something about periodic motion peter seemed to be looking at you when you looked up?

well, looking at you isn’t very weird, looking at someone while they’re talking is just basic manners. but when you looked back he would snap his eyes straight back to his own textbook, nodding and wordlessly agreeing with whatever you had just said.

maybe it’s just your imagination but the way he looked at you, it’s almost a loving, caring gaze.

oh god who are you kidding, it’s just your brain and imagination playing tricks on you.

you’re alone with peter parker in his bedroom!! these things are going to happen!

‘hey you want to take a break? we’ve been going at this for a whole hour now.’ peter says, craning his neck to take a look at the clock on the wall.

‘has it really been a whole hour?’ you lean back in your chair looking up at the ceiling.

‘yeah okay. let’s have a small break then.’

peter picks up both of your mugs and heads off to the kitchen, groaning slightly when he stretches his legs out for the first time in an hour.

*a/n: apologies in advance to those with nut allergies*

he comes back with both your mugs refilled with (water for you, gatorade for peter) and a small bag of almonds for you to snack on.

‘oh hey! almonds are my study snack of choice too!’

‘yeah, i know’ peter says carelessly, scrolling down his phone.

‘i don’t like almonds all that much, but i bought a few packs this morning on the way to school.’

hm,, wHat

‘if… you don’t like almonds why would you get them for me?’

‘because you like almonds.’

blink.

b l i n k

it takes a bit of time for peter to realise what just came out of his mouth.

‘i meAn! I’M NOT A STALKER I SWEAR. i just see you at school sometimes and you always have a small pack of these to snack on whenever you’re doing work so i thought,, you know, since we’re doing WORK, i should buy some for you… so you won’t get hungry!!!’ he’s wailing nonsensical excuses and apologies by now.

huh.

peter parker knows that you snack on almonds when you study, and bought a pack for you even though he doesn’t like them at all.

maybe he doesn’t hate you as much as you thought.

you tear apart the packaging and stuff an almond in your mouth, your traitorous lips slowly threatening to curl into a huge smile.

(despite how much you fight against it, you end up with a slightly demonic looking huge smile on your face, which you attempt to hide by stuffing more almonds in your mouth)

(you now look like a chipmunk)

(but a cute one!!!!)

meanwhile peter is trying to hide the feeling of humiliation by resting his face in his hands, because he literally just exposed himself. he will not be able to take it if he looks back up at your face and you’re laughing at him for this stupid crush.

to his surprise, he does not look up to find you mocking his love for you, but instead, he finds you with a mouth full of almonds, struggling to chew and swallow them all without looking like a disgusting fool.

oh.

that’s kinda cute.

after a good five minutes of you trying to force like 10 almonds down your esophagus, you clear your throat and awkwardly blurt out a ‘thank you’

‘for the almonds! it’s cute how you bought them for me because you knew how much i like to snack on them while i study. that’s really sweet of you. i guess you really don’t hate me all that much, huh?’ the last sentence comes out teasingly, a playful smile gracing your lips, but instead of uwu-ing over your cute smile, peter’s just confused.

‘why would i hate you?’ he says, his eyebrows laced together in confusion.

‘well, i always kinda got the impression that you didn’t like me… all that much? i never really knew why. hey, why did you hate me so much before this? if i accidentally did something at the start of the year that pissed you off, i’m sorry.’

your playful smile fades a little bit as you see peter basically collapse on himself just due to sheer GRIEVANCE.

‘WHY WOULD YOU THINK I HATED YOU?’ peter yells out, probably annoying the neighbours with how fucking loud he is, but he can’t seem to bring himself to care right now.

‘you… didn’t?’ you say, now becoming just as confused as peter.

he shakes his head aggressively, bringing his fingers up to his temples.

‘but… you always seemed so jumpy around me! and you would never really talk to me, and that one time i asked you for a pencil, you looked like you were dying or something! i always just thought you didn’t like me!’

god

peter doesn’t know whether he should be laughing or crying.

‘that’s not because I HATED YOU!! that’s because- i mean- i always thought-’ he’s still yelling and at this point one of the neighbours are definitely going to come knocking to complain, but peter still doesn’t care, because he’s currently having an existential crisis.

ohmygod all this time my CRUSH thought I HATED HER because I couldn’t function like a normal human being in front of her because of how much I liked her until i gave her some ALMONDS what is wrong with me? what kind of entity that controls the universe could hate me so much to pull THIS kind of sick prank on me?

‘wait if you didn’t hate me why would you always act so weird in front of me?’

‘BECAUSE-’ peter tangles his fingers into his hair, and he kicks his chair, sending it halfway across his room from frustration.

‘how could you possibly think I hated you??? how could you possibly think ANYONE could hate you??? you’re single handedly the only good person in this godforsaken school full of IDIOTS and BULLIES! nobody could ever hate you, y/n, and certainly not ME!’

perhaps he is using an excessive amount of hand gestures, but it gets his point across.

‘wha-? what do yo-?’

‘wHat are you TALKING ABOUT?’ you say, slowly turning just as frustrated as peter.

‘if there’s ANYONE that’s decent in this ‘godforsaken school full of idiots’ it would be YOU, peter parker!! nobody would just pay attention to what I EAT so I wouldn’t get HUNGRY during a study session oKaY!! you’re so CONFUSING! every time I accept the fact that you don’t like me back you pull this bullshit, essentially making me rethink ALL MY FEELINGS!’ you say, going through the room (stepping over the toppled chair), just to jab a finger onto peter’s chest.

suddenly both of you are aware of your flushed cheeks and your close proximity.

‘wha- WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?’ peter basically shrieks, and you would not be surprised if all of New York managed to hear that scream.

your cheeks darken as you awkwardly step back from him, realising that you accidentally outed yourself.

‘um- i mean,’ you stumble on the fallen chair as you desperately walk backwards with your hands behind your back to avoid peter’s piercing gaze.

*you’re not good at confrontation okay*

‘you like me?? wait wait, you like ME?’ you frown a little as you look at peter’s incredulous expression.

‘well yeah, you don’t have to rub it in like that, I know you don’t like me back.’ You mumble, looking away.

‘don’t like yo- OH MY GOD!’

this time peter stalks all the way across the room, looking you dead straight in the eye.

‘you better not be joking with me, y/n.’

you squeak out a small ‘no’ or something like that because you can’t really focus with peter looking down at you like that.

‘you mean to tell me, my stupid fat, nervous crush on you was mistaken for HATRED, and all this time I’ve been thinking I have no chance with you, but you’ve been crushing on me too all this time?’ his words come out jumbled, and a little fast, but you can decipher the general meaning.

peter parker likes you… too.

oh GOD WAT

he clears his throat, biting his lip and you can just tell he’s about to apologise, because peter’s a complete angel who probably doesn’t want you feeling uncomfortable.

‘um- uh, y- oomph!’

and in this shocking turn of events, you execute the only spontaneous thing you’ve ever done in your life and pray that it ends up well.

you lean forward and press your lips to peter’s, hoping to whatever superior being there is that this was a good decision.

spoiler alert: it was

peter.exe has shut down because all of a sudden your lips are against his and oh wow this is so much better than all those times he’s imagined it happening because it’s actually happening now.

your hands find their way to peter’s curls that he was trying so hard to get under control an hour ago but now he can’t remember why he doesn’t like his hair if it’s just going to be tugged on by you like this from now on.

he grabs you by the waist and pulls you closer to him, pretty much pressing his body against yours.

not that you’re complaining.

and god if peter died from suffocation right now that would be a heavenly way to go, and he would be a-ok with dying if it meant finally being in your arms.

you pull away from peter, both of you slightly panting before you burst out in giggles, resting your head and letting it fall on peter’s shoulder.

‘oh my god, we’re such idiots, aren’t we?’

peter hums in agreement before lifting your chin up to kiss you again.

bonus: boyfriend! peter

definitely still stares at you in science class except now whenever you catch him staring he just shoots you a lazy grin

because yEa he has FULL RIGHTS to stare at you now because you’re his GIRLFRIEND.

you find out he’s spiderman pretty much immediately let’s be real this boy is not the best at hiding secrets

especially from his GIRLFRIENDS whomst he loves VERY MUCH.

this boy also gives you anxiety attacks whenever you see spiderman on the news saving people, getting hurt and shit, but he understands.

sends you a text before and after he gets in the suit whenever he can.

most certainly uses his spidey-powers for things they were not intended to be used for.

to visit his girlfriend so she can give him cuddles at any time why what were you guys thinking about hMmmMMMmmmM?

likes to show you off but also gets very blushy and shy about PDA

pretty much had a seizure the first time you held hands.

ned almost fainted when he heard the news (aka peter rushed to call him the second you left that night you kissed because these bitches are very gossipy)

peter parker is the ultimate clingy boyfriend.

……

and you love it.

your science teacher no longer puts you in the same group or partners you guys up now though.

because now you can’t study together, you literally can’t keep your hands off each other.

sometimes when peter is feeling ~particularly clingy he just nuzzles into the crook of your neck during lunch, and pulls you to him so you’re pretty much on his lap.

and MJ is just like yall r disgusTING

right in front of my salad.

in conclusion, peter parker loves you and you love him.

it’s honestly kind of sickening,

but you love that too.

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159potterhead · 3 years

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(this is answer to the previous ask. It's gonna be long. I'll try to give you the insight)

Yeah. I mean apart from me there's also this one other guy he's also regular victim like me coz he also broke a rule but he gets bullied by different seniors not the Michael guy gang. And it's not particularly about the gang or the group coz all those seniors are friends with each other so anyone can bully any junior. This guy has a job for calling me when those seniors ask to see me and this guy makes a run to the cafe coz those seniors wants to eat something. He's always running around here and there. I feel bad for him.

There are more than 200 peeps I guess. They had human ethics class when they called me but that time professor wasn't taking their lecture so most of them left but then too there were too many people in there. Yk I told you I'm in Biotech so like this we have all kind of subjects for major like physics, chemistry, maths, statistics, life science and many more and for all these branches we have a common subject called Human ethics which is compulsory for every one. So all of the branches together sit in one big classroom for this subject.

Tbh, I really don't know what that guy wants, I thought maybe I'll avoid him so I won't get in trouble but it happened opposite coz he got seriously pissed after that. That was the most embarrassing day of my life, I remember everything, I got very close to crying. And he never really talks to me but he called me in their class and was like, why are you avoiding me? And I can't say that to his face, so, I said, 'I was not.' And then he listed a few palce where I tried to avoid him and I had no answer to that, it's a long story but he bought that list of slangs that I once wrote and he told me to read the whole list (it has around 70 curse words half which I had to make up on my own. Initially it 50 but afterwards they increased it. I'll get to it later) He told me I had to yell those words until the person sitting on the last bench can hear me. It was brutal. And he was standing right on my head saying, 'I can't hear you,' I would have killed him that day. I got very close to crying. I only made it till 4-5 words. I skipped few days after that day it was the worst thing ever that's how everyone in his year got to know about me.

Yes! I tried to avoid him many times. If I saw him coming I used to changed my path and I think he noticed coz I wasn't subtle at all. And idk what's up with him coz he started playing hide and seek, if he noticed me changing direction or going the long way to avoid him he just used to take the short route and get there before me just to freak me out. And that guy is not even in my line of vision he's way taller than me and I freaked out every time when he used to come in front of me suddenly out of nowhere. I looked okay not a big deal from outside but from inside I always went in emergency mode, my hands used to get cold. Sue me, I have anxiety I can't help it and if someone will act like this I will feel a little afraid or intimidated yk. And after that task of reading the list out loud he stopped. So that was relief. I often think does these people don't have humanity or what. If I was a guy I would never do this to a girl. And yk this bullying part is also a reason why I'm done with guys. Don't be sorry, it's okay I had my fun in school, so I was kinda prepared for this.

I think you didn't get it. It's the weird universal rule going on from ages, we have to give respect to every senior even if they are from other branch. The rules are not made up by any college authority. It's just something that is going on among students, professors doesn't know a thing about it. There are many rules. We have two cafes over here and one of them is strictly reserved for seniors, a junior person cannot step a foot over there.

Yesss! You get me! That's why I was looking. I don't think it's peer pressure. I think that he thinks I don't respect him and I broke the rule. I think he got more confident after his friends knew. And I think his friends told people of his class that's why they all knew my name.

All my friends and classmates already knows about it. They can't do anything coz those people are their seniors too, and we are supposed to do as they say. One of my tired tried to help me coz she knew someone in the senior batch and that person talked to that Michael guy about me and guess what? They just doubled the slangs. And I had to prove my innocence and I bargained but then too I ended up writing 70. So there's that.

(it’s alright, write ten pages even if you’ve got to)

it’s all cause of those stupid rules!!😡 oh my, poor kid:(( y’all have feet, go and get your own food from the cafeteria! i’m starting to feel bad for him too, he’s just trying to get along with his college years, let him be!!

ohh, so you get stuck in the same hall for a whole lecture? that’s just nice🤦🏻‍♀️

yeah that makes absolutely no sense btw🤨?? baby noo😭 I wish I had been there for you!! umm we have nothing between us, I can avoid you if I want to?? jeez I wanna punch this dude so bad rn. ok srsly what is up with that list omg. YOURE JOKING????? HE MADE YOU DO THAT??? IS HE INSANE OR INSANE??!!? im so so so sorry!!!! that just sounds like an awful way to get introduced to the rest of the school, plus I can’t imagine the toll it had on you!!😭😭

???? what a creep??? I mean that’d be fine if it was a friend, but what the hell does he want?? you have a right to be intimidated, and it’s not your fault you’ve got anxiety, can’t he get it?!! either he finally saw that his actions are that of the devil and felt sorry for you and stopped, which I doubt very much. or someone in that class saw and made him stop afterwards. he shouldn’t be doing this to anyone, regardless!! this is your actual villain origin story against guys, and honestly, I can very clearly see why now. even though, this doesn’t mean that you deserved an ounce of it!

how is that supposed to be any better?? and fine I can show respect, but to the point of calling them maam and sir, is this a school or military grounds? yeah okay that reserved spot thing is passable.

ah okay... a shitty dude followed by shitty friends... how respectful.

honestly thank god I don’t attend your college, no offense. under whose authority am I to blindly do as they say, I don’t get it, I really don’t! oh that’s just great😫 props to them for talking to him though. that just sucks, I am incredibly sorry! :(((

🎶honey I'll be your shelter, I'll be the one to take you through the night. whenever you need shelter, I'll make everything alright, make everything alright🎶💕

#me: this 🤏🏼 close to yeeting him into space #thee lover anon saga <3

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combat-wombatus · 4 years

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uHm if you do these and if you want to do it I’d love a bnha matchup <3?

• my name is Aubri, I’m bi but prefer MHA boys tbh. I go by she/her, too.

• I’m a very Gryffindor person. (Sorry if you don’t know Harry Potter - 😖)

• I’m a June cancer, and I have ADHD and anxiety. My anxiety can be literally crippling somedays, but it’s gotten better overtime.

• I’m a bit of a class clown and usually just a clown 🤡 but that’s irrelevant. My teachers all hate me but like school-wise I do well so we have a love and mostly hate relationship 🤧

• I’m usually the ‘entertaining’ friend, in elementary the popular kids would invite me to play games with them because, “you’re funny” and it was like the biggest achievement ever 😭👍🏻 then they’d ignore me but that’s another therapy session

• I’m usually made fun of by people for being ‘weird’ and ‘insane’. Like all through elementary everyone thought I’d be a criminal when I grew up JUST BECAUSE I HAD UNDIAGNOSED ADHD - I hate it here 😐🦶🏻

• I’ve always been super into crime stories/true crime (where my anxiety comes from, I’m always worried about a pesky serial killer just killing me. It’s usually being kidnapped tho lmao) so I knew and still know like all these murder facts and sometimes I’d just randomly be like;

“Hey did you know it takes 12 hours and 2 days to dissolve a body in acid?”

“If you bury a dead deer over a dead body you buried deep in the ground, when police dogs sniff it and people dig they’ll just think it was the deer and won’t dig any farther.”

• So maybe people had a reason to be scared of me and think I’ll be a criminal someday, i dunno.

• I love love love reading and writing, and also debating. The things I’ve wanted to be when I grow up are basically: Dog shelter worker, actress, FBI agent, politician, and a writer. But usually I just want to do something that makes a positive impact on people. Like i wanted to be an FBI agent to solve crimes for people. I wanted to be a politican so I could actually help a lot of people. The entertainment industry also seemed like a way to make people happy. Idk, but then I decided I couldn’t be a politican at 10 because they were all corrupt and to be one I would have to be too. 😫🤌🏻 we love some good childhood angst

• the only subjects I’ve ever excelled at are ELA and Social Studies aka History, and Math I can’t do to save my life. ELA comes easy for me and I usually don’t have to work that hard and/or get too stressed over it. But I always get the meanest teachers for some reason. For example, one time I did my final essay for like 30% of my grade in 30 minutes the day it was due and I got an A+ 🦟🦗🦟🦗

• Uhhh id describe myself as a pretty loyal friend, I’m a ride or die type of girl. A story from my childhood that summarizes it pretty well is when I was in 2nd grade my friend wet her pants and she didn’t want to go to the nurse for it alone so I peed my pants so I could go with her and she wouldn’t have to be alone. Like, you know, a professional problem solver

• and I have genuinely attacked people for fucking with my friends but don’t snitch pls 🕳🏃‍♀️💨

• But also just anyone, people at my school tend to come to me with their problems for me to either help solve them by reasoning, or just to confront the other person like the bad bleep I am 😈😈

• I also have a huge daydreaming problem, it’s literally maladaptive daydreaming. So paired with my ADHD I don’t get shit done like ever.

• I have really high empathy levels I guess, like I always say hi to everyone I see on the street, especially if they look sad 😔 I’ve done it ever since I was a little kiddo.

• My fashion sense is very much a preppy/alt style. I wear those ripped tights and fishnets, I also have the MOST BIZARRE JEWELRY- like who allowed me to buy the gummy worm glittery earrings, hmmm???????? and those Mary Janes???????

• But I love crew necks and pleated skirts so I always obide by the National “hoes dont get cold” policy 🇺🇸😫🦅

• I wanna move somewhere someday, I don’t want to stay in America for very long

• I can speak Latin, French, and my native language which is English.

• My music taste varies, but my all-time favorite artists who all of their music they’ve ever put out has been my favorites are, Billie Eilish, Melanie Martinez, and Conan Gray.

• I no-joke have a sign in my front yard that says;

In ✍️ this ✍️ house we ✍️ don’t ✍️ worship Jesus ✍️ but instead ✍️ Melanie ✍️ Martinez

• My favorite shows are MHA (duh), The Promised Neverland, and Malcolm in The Middle.

• and I’m not going to tell you what I prefer in a partner, because that ruins the fun 😤

• but I will say I cannot be friends with someone who doesn’t really make me laugh. Like I’m used to doing most of the talking in convos but if you’re just boring I’m sorry it’s nothing personal but no thanks 😐✌🏻

• About my physical appearance, I have fluffy n curly brown hair, but when it’s in the sunlight it looks sort of brown but golden yk?? It’s shoulder length :) I have bleach blonde streaks in the front. I like wearing eyeliner most days, too. I’m pretty average size/ on the skinnier side. Kinda high key inscure abt my body bc I got flat shamed in elementary EVEN THOUGH I HAVE TIDDIES NOW- whatever 😤🙄. I also have crystal type blue eyes, and I do have fairly big eyes. But, like, not weirdly big. A good big. My cheekbones are ALWAYS PRESENT so sometimes I get called a Tim Burton character but it’s cool ig ☠️☠️ oh and I’m kinda short. I’m 5’3, even though my doctor said I’d be 5’7. I feel like I was either tricked by the doctor or someone just stole my destined height while I was asleep. It’s probably cause I didn’t keep an eye out for Selener 👁 😔😔

• I’m a definite night owl, like all of my energy comes at night which really sucks cuz I can’t do much since everyone else is asleep.

• My love language is touch starved so I’ve never figured it out ✌🏻😗🔫

• but I am an attention whore so idk 😏

• I’m a huge introvert with social anxiety. It isn’t as bad as it used to be cuz I used to not be able to like go to restaurants but now I’m much better.

• I’m a huge history person, mostly like sad history LMFAO. Uh but a lot of my hyperfixations have been on history. Some examples are The Roman Empire, Julius Caesar himself, Anne Frank, The Titanic, the Black Plauge, Helen Keller, Marie Curie, Slavery in the US, Joan of Arc, and just a lot more. I always love talking about these things if someone would let me ramble to them but no one ever does 😖 it also got to a point where for all these subjects I’d go to the library and try to find a book on them but usually I’d either have already read it or I’d read it and know all the information.

• I’m super into Greek Mythology, I have 7 books filled with the stories, I’m going to Greece maybe this summer to see it’s history, and named my hamster Aphrodite but we call her Aphie. I also will talk about this forever and ever if you let me.

• My favorite color is yellow, my favorite food is literally nothing I never have an appetite, my favorite planet is Saturn, favorite song is Tag Your It by Melanie Martinez atm but it changes like everyday.

• Music is a huge safe-space for me if I’m feeling down or having a panic attack. It calms me down n is overall my coping mechanism 💃🏻💃🏻

• Biggest fear is spiders, even looking at one gives me a panic attack and I cannot sleep at all for that night, adding to my insomniac ass 🧎🏻‍♂️🏌️‍♀️

• I’m mature for my age, I don’t exactly like hanging around kids my age and I get along better with older crowds.

• i don’t like conventional dates, (I PROMISE IM NOT TRYING TO SOUND ‘QUIRKY’ AHAHA) I kind of like having a best-friend type partner more so dates that aren’t as romantic as like the movies or a fancy restaurant suite me better. My dream date is playing Monopoly on my bedroom floor 🦧

• Also I hate getting gifts. End of story. If someone gets me a gift like awe that’s nice but never again, I’d prefer to get you one. Especially in a romantic partner 😐 i keep a journal of my friends’ interests and hobbies so I can get them the perfect gifts for their bdays and Christmas’s. Been doing this ever since 4th grade.

• Though I don’t have much actual experience with relationships🧍🏻‍♀️

• I’m a huge believer in ‘family isn’t blood, it’s who you make it’ because I have a pretty shitty family life and my childhood has been trash. My friends are my family to me.

• Also if my friends don’t like my romantic partner ✨ GOODBYE ✨. Sorry girlie, bros before hoes 🦨💨

I was going to put more but I’m so so sorry for how LONG AND COMPLICATED THIS IS- idk if this is a autobiography or a matchup at this point 🤦‍♀️ don’t feel pressured to do this and if matchups aren’t open IM SO SO SORRY LMAO uh yeah ilysm 🦎🎂🧃

OMG ASLDFKJHASLKDJH

🥺 i’m so sorry bby but matchups are closed ;-; my 100 follower event was over while ago (i guess i should’ve specified that in the asks i answered LKSAJHFLKJAHDS SORRY IT’S MY BAD) but you sound so cool?? i had a lot of the same hyperfixations interests (heLLO helen keller was badass AF and the roman empire was messed up but still v cool, anne frank was awesome too) i also may or may not have wanted to be a politician when i was younger alskdjfhalkdhj but now i’m just 🧍🏻‍♀️ lost and anyways you’re amazing >.< love u lots and don’t forget to drink water and eat a lil something hehe :p

#coco answers #nonnie <3

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enthusiasticmusicalquotes · 4 years

Text

QUESTION OF THE DAY #6: Send me your most unpopular theatre opinion. Something that might make someone want to fight you. Please don’t be offensive (racist, misogynistic, etc.), but other than that…go as hard as you want. Spill all the tea.

MY ANSWERS: 1) The Pretty Woman score fucking slaps idek, 2) Come From Away (or even Bandstand...) should’ve won the 2017 Best Musical Tony, 3) I prefer the West End Heathers cast album to Off Broadway, 4) Shows shouldn’t sweep the Tonys just because they’re Best Musical worthy...shows that aren’t too critically acclaimed but have really impressive elements should get recognition too.

SUMMARY: Out of 37 responses: 5 were about Dear Evan Hansen, 3 were about Hamilton specifically, 2 were about: Rent, ALW, Wicked, In The Heights, Be More Chill, etc. etc....if your favorite musical is one of these and you get easily offended i wouldn’t read these.

NOTE: I agree with some of these, I highly disagree with others. I do not endorse any of the things that were said, I am simply sharing them with you all. These were what was sent to me. I’m going to number them so if you want to complain about or agree with one you can send me an ask with the number you’re referring to.

1. howmuchchildrens said: unpopular opinion: i really liked the 2012 version of les mis. i liked russel crowe as javert.

2. Anonymous said: Unpopular opinion: Bootlegs harm to local theatre communities, though I do not believe anyone intends for that to be the case. While it's possible to bootleg responsibly (and I might even say it's beneficial to do so), those who may not know the intricacies of theatrical copyright law or who haven't heard the horror stories from a theatre that's been hit with legal action DUE to a bootleg may record or watch a show irresponsibly, which can greatly harm other routes of theatre accessibility.

3. Anonymous said: Andrew Lloyd Webber musicals are mostly terrible. He only got and stayed popular because a lot of other musical creators and taste makers died in the AIDS epidemic

4. Anonymous said: Almost all musicals using the songs of one artist are cash grabs with no plot or point.

5. Anonymous said: If your musical only has 1 woman OR the women only get sad/romantic songs you need to do something else with your life.

6. nerdshrimp said: Unpopular opinion: Next To Normal does a better job of portraying the effects of mental illness than Dear Evan Hansen does. N2N also doesn't romanticise mental illness & excuse shitty behavior like DEH tries to

7. Anonymous said: Hadestown is a lesser show on Broadway. I fell in love with the live album, and I was so excited for it to come to Broadway. I was so disappointed to see the changes they made. Orpheus and Eurydice's relationship is less interesting and more generic. The changed lyrics are often sloppy and not as good as the original. They fucking wrecked Epic III. Also, no hate to R/ee/ve, but he's just not a good enough singer to convince me that he could soften the heart of Hades. His high notes are awful.

8. Anonymous said: opinion: we are the tigers deserves a broadway run or at least a proshot

9. bimystique said: e/c is NOT A GOOD FUCKING SHIP. the ENTIRE PLOT OF PHANTOM OF THE OPERA is christine trying to escape erik's abuse. WHAT FUCKING PART OF THAT IS ROMANTIC TO YOU PEOPLE.

10. Anonymous said: unpopular theatre opinion(s): Dear Evan Hansen is Very Bad for its handling of mental illness, Hamilton is overrated and praised too much, and high school/college musical theatre programs can be just as good as Broadway. (also, musical movies would be better if they hired broadway actors, but that's not an unpopular opinion)

11. Anonymous said: I don’t like Lin Manuel Miranda and Hamilton is overrated

12. Anonymous said: I don’t like dear Evan Hansen..... at all. I think it’s kind of boring and really overhyped.

13. Anonymous said: unpopular opinion: in the heights is far better than Hamilton. both are good but ith hits different yknow

14. Anonymous said: The bring it on and legally blonde musicals are BAD! The movies are 100 times better

15. Anonymous said: unpopular opinion? wicked is the epitome of white feminism. it's preached as super great for representation but we literally got the first black glinda in 2019?!?!?!? and before that woc could only play elphaba who's villainized and deemed evil by the whole city

16. Anonymous said: Not so much an opinion as a reaction, but of all Lin's works (ITH, Bring it On, 21 Chump Street, Hamilton), 21 Chump Street gets the biggest emotional reaction of all the cast recordings. The second Justin is like "I don't want your money" (And then later on with the "...what the heck did you.... dooooo", I am a complete goner. Worse than Abuela Claudia and Philip Hamilton's deaths combined

17. Anonymous said: Whenever Je.ssie Mu.eller hits certain notes, she sounds like Tommy Pickles from Rugrats.

18. Anonymous said: aotd6: not everyone knows what im talking about, but the cats 2016 broadway revival choreography was WAYYYY better than the original. the original had a lot of creepy uncomfortable moments and the new one looks way cleaner and up to date

19. Anonymous said: raoul is better than the phantom in every conceivable way

20. Anonymous said: I hate Anastasia so much. it's such a boring show and the music is uninteresting. I wanted to like it so bad but GOD is it boring.

21. Anonymous said: In the Heights.... Overrated.

22. Anonymous said: I do not know if this is an unpopular opinion or not, but here is my opinion: Musicals that are entirely or nearly entirely songs (Hamilton, Hadestown, In The Heights, etc) are the most valid bc I can understand the plot without using wikipedia (I'm looking at you, Jagged Little Pill, I love you but what is your plot????)

23. Anonymous said: I'd rather have a bad film adaptation than no film adaptation

24. Anonymous said: Rent sucks and while it was a stepping stone for more ""controversial"" topics to appear on Broadway it's actually biphobic and features several generally terrible people doing generally terrible things and doesn't actually address the real crisis at all; it's all performative wokeness. The only real good it did was cast a bunch of "nobodies" for the time and make theater somewhat more accessible.

25. stardust-and-seas said: Dear Evan Hansen doesn't properly address mental health despite being about mental health and resolves nobodies character arcs satisfactorily. It's another show that reaches its hands around the throats of marginalized teenagers saying "look I'm relatable!!" The songs taken out of context are significantly more powerful than when placed in the context of the show, which gives us exactly zero evidence of Evan's work to improve and also never resolves Evan's u healthy goals in the first place.

26. stardust-and-seas said: Be More Chill is a raging dumpster fire and the only decent song from it, Michael in the Bathroom, reads as a whiny rich white boy whose potential social anxiety and depression is left ambiguous, which is exactly what it is. When taken out of context it better exemplifies the othering that happens to marginalized groups but lets be real here: bullying/cliques don't happen to "just anyone"; it's the marginalized groups that are othered and abandoned for not being "normal"

27. stardust-and-seas said: There's a difference between shows that don't take themselves seriously because they're meant to be fun and light and shows that pretend not to take themselves too seriously but want to be taken seriously by the audience and the latter always ends up mediocre at best

28. redueka said: i think that dear evan hansen handles every issue it presents badly. i also think that beetlejuice was badly directed

29. Anonymous said: Well I don’t EVER condone cheating, I’m team Jamie in the last five years. He tried so hard to make their relationship and life good, and Cathy gave him nothing in return

30. youcanlolyoucansayohwell said: The answer of the day- I don't get the BMC hype. I'm out of the age bracket it's meant for that might it be. I enjoy it but I don't think it's the greatest thing in the world like some theatre fans do.

31. Anonymous said: i like the rent 2005 recording better than the obcr

32. Anonymous said: unpopular opinion ? : the music of wicked just like isn’t that good. like it’s good but it’s not like, Good, yknow. it’s pretty standard it doesn’t stand out to me. kinda boring

33. Anonymous said: mari.ah r.ose fa.ith is not a good regina george. everything she says sounds monotonous and while i understand she's trying to play off the ""whatever"" teenager (she does this a lot with her teenage characters), 90% of the time she sounds and looks like she doesn't want to be there; her voice is great but most songs feel unnatural and forced and she changes them too much. she's just not selling regina to me as a believable character (this is all from a technical point of view)

34. Anonymous said: Unpopular Opinion: as much as i like musicals based on movies (like waitress), i think not every movie needs to be a musical.

35. Anonymous said: Unpopular opinion (?) the emojiland musical Kinda Slaps

36. Anonymous said: as one of my high school tech theatre teachers once said: "Andrew Lloyd Webber is overrated"

37. Anonymous said: sorry to whoever likes it but Seussical is an absolutely nonsense crackpot plot disguised with okay-to-good music, like I don't even know where to start. I was in the show and didn't even know there was an entire secondary plot line featuring sending children to war until we were halfway through rehearsals

#qotd #not a quote #in some places i put dots in the name so it didn't show up in the tag by accident

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gevejsbvdj · 4 years

Text

Pt. 2

the continuation of what inspired my leave beneath the cut

I have a friend, who I got along with really well because we are both Afro Latinas (only she can speak Spanish. I don’t, not really) and we are black kids who had an interest in unconventional topics. I messaged her before disappearing about the ending of the server. I was keeping her updated all throughout, but after telling her the ending, I left her on read

I won’t disclose what I got up to during my absence. But again, don’t think that I had a breakdown because of the server ONLY. It was the final straw. I had so much going on in my life and I couldn’t take it anymore.

Anyways, she took it upon herself to send hateful messages to Ley’s account and thought it was something to be proud of and told me. I...wasn’t impressed. But I still didn’t respond to our chats. Then she (her name is Rex. I’m gonna call her that) dmed Ley and was actually pretty aggressive towards her in an attempt to get answers. Again, not impressed but it was enough for me to actually come online. I feel like that’s why she acted out, to get me online. I don’t think she cared about me and used my pain to hurt others.

I had extremely brief, passing conversations with people who weren’t involved with the situation at all right before I messaged Rex.

Ley was special to me before her message. I was always very defensive and protective of her like I was everyone else, but her especially because I thought she was nice. And I remembered when people were being mean to me, she reached out. And I still appreciate her for doing that.

Which was why it was so confusing when Rex told me that they were all mad at me because I ACCUSED JOANE OF GROOMING PEOPLE. They wanted a reason to make me the villain so badly that they made shit up.

Notice how here, she says that I called Joane a FUCKING PEDO. Not even just a groomer but an outright PEDOPHILE.

I’ve been raped. I’ve been sexually assaulted, groomed, all of that. I don’t say shit. I never say anything. I’ve even been accused- yes, ACTUALLY ACCUSED unlike Joane- to being a paedophile. I’m 19. Not even just that but I’m freshly 19. I got accused when I was 17. But I would never just- ughhhh moving on I don’t wanna get into it.

When Rex asked for proof, this is way Ley sent her:

In this screenshot, I’m literally discussing how Joane’s childish behaviour could get her killed. I was concerned. Again, where’s the bullying?

Rex told me that Ley said she was wrong for not having proof, and I understand. Ley wasn’t present when it all went down

But really Ley?

I heard a quote from someone that said something like “if someone believed a lie about you without checking up on you first to see if there was proof, then they were already looking for something to destroy you with to begin with” or SOMETHING like that. So I thought back to that quote and felt awful. I always suspected that they didn’t really like me, but always marked it up to my depression talking nonsense. But after all of this...maybe it was true. Why did I come out the most damage? Why were they making up lies about me? Me, out of all of them. Why was I consistently being seen as the bad guy overall? No really tell me.

Anyways, this was Ley’s justification to believe that I would say such an awful thing:

Okay. Let’s just say that- Joane WAS a groomer. That she actually is a paedophile and I commented on it. She’s obviously not but I’m pulling a Ben Shapiro here. Everything else is the same only Joane is a paedophile.

That motherfucking “it’s weird that he only spoke up when they were arguing” argument, and other arguments like that are so fucking toxic. As well as “well it wasn’t a problem that never came up before” so??? That’s what the fucking #metoo movement was all about. Timing means NOTHING when it comes to that. It doesn’t matter if it’s Joane or fucking Bill Cosby. The fact that thought came to Ley’s head is so fucking upsetting and DISGUSTING.THAT mentality is why people never want to believe victims of assault. Same goes for “they could have said that privately” guys she’s talking about that user who said they were uncomfortable with Joane coming onto him. Privately? It was private to him. In that server, we’ve made it known that it’s a very homey and comfortable environment. And who the fuck are you to tell someone where and when they can speak up about something like that???

Also, she accused me of calling her a pedo again. Good for me right? I’m a bully and I’m someone who just blindly calls people paedophiles. Good for me, damn.

No, you shouldn’t believe someone right away when they call someone a groomer. God don’t I know that. But you definitely don’t say THAT what the fucking fuck.

Jesus. Okay, moving on.

Rex aggressively messaged Mel who had something similar to say:

uggh, you WERE the toxic environment i wanted to flee from,.

It hurts. It hurts a lot to see another friend you looked up to call you a bully. And that they just say that you called someone a groomer when you didn’t.

Mel couldn’t provide proof either.

Mel also tagged her post with someone kinda ignorant.

Imagine if (thinking of someone I and others don’t always agree with) someone like James Charles made a post broadcasting all the homophobia he dealt with during his career, and I or some other asshole said something “while I don’t always agree with James…” like now isn’t the time. Now isn’t the time to let people you know you disagree with me ESPECIALLY on a post where you agree with me 100%??? What is the point then? You agreed with me, so agree with me. There. No one is saying that you have to agree with everything I say lord fucking knows I don’t always agree with you guys. fucking DUH. It makes me think you just wanted to put that in to lesson me and my words, even only slightly. Why? That hurts a lot, Mel. It really fucking does bruh.

When Rex called her out on it, she deleted the reblog. Not just the meagre little tag but the whole post. If she couldn’t be slick with me, then she wasn’t going to support me at all. It isn’t worth it if she can’t be shady. That’s the message I got from that. Tells me a lot.

I am not friends with Rex anymore. She’s always been really aggressive and drama craving and I can’t take it. It’s impacting me negatively as well. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t somewhat happy with the screenshots she gave me. Told me a lot about these people I was still willing to talk to.

Now? I won’t even waste their time.

After all of that. I made the post. The big announcement post. It was too much. I can’t escape the racism in my hometown or in the country in general, but I can leave and distance myself from the fandom.

I was talking to someone today, and she, as a white woman, admitted that white people act so shitty when it’s implied that they’re racist. Which is so true.

As I said, people make mistakes. No white person EVER is 0% racist or biased. I’m sorry but it’s not true unless you’re a baby or something. Same goes for other races, but mainly white people who have always had the upper hand, the privilege, the money, the chances, the power, all of that.

Listen to me.

When a person of color tells you that you are being microaggressive, biased, ignorant, or prejudice, or straight up RACIST, YOU FUCKING LISTEN TO THEM. Why do you guys get so AGGRESSIVE AND MAD?? That is so fucking WEIRD.

And yes. I’m talking to you Vulture.

I really had no ill feelings towards you prior to your comments.

Or your posts.

peep that clumsily used aave. never fucking talked like that to anyone but me. either way, you sound dumb.

Why?

Why so...mad?

You felt guilty? Why did you feel guilty?

...I’m gonna let you answer that.

Moving on. I know that not everything has to be about race. I hate making things about my race. I do, even when I should! But you can be racist unintentionally. Does that mean you’re racist? No! I have yet to receive a genuine apology from any of you, meanwhile, I’ve been over here grovelling and hoping that you like me again. God. Why is it so hard for you to apologize and move on??

No, in that same fucking server, someone sent a racist meme after joking about slavery all day:

And yes, the people in the chat at the time laughed at it...

I told them that WASNT funny and they freaked out all “WHY CANT I TALK TO PEOPLE IM SO FUCKING STUPID I SUCK” like oh...my god. You guys make it so awkward being black oh my GOD. I- like it makes me never want to say ANYTHING but I know I have to but god what the hell guys???

I wouldn’t really think that the members of the server chat were racially biased if they just accepted the fact that they were micro aggressive and didn’t flip out about it. Not really, at least. That reaction is so- well it’s sus as fuck. People who aren’t prejudiced will apologize, correct themselves and move on. Not dismiss me constantly and DEFINITELY not freak the fuck out.

I also wouldn’t assume they were racially biased if this SAME EXACT SITUATION DIDNT HAPPEN TO ME BEFORE.

Yep! On the Beatles Amino, I was called a bully and was reported by the LEADERS. Why? Because I told a curator she was inconsistent with her rules… that’s it. And that was back when I was sugary sweet all the time and was deemed to be a cinnamon roll. Nah. They knew I was black and I got told that people were scared of me and that I was bullying people. Yeah okay. Messaging ONE curator about her rules is the same thing as bullying people. Chile I can’t. And it only happens in the Beatles fandom. But no when someone calls John Lennon a racist it’s all “Zach! Zach! Tell them they’re wrong.” Ugh...

So that’s that on that. I have nothing else to say. Don’t message me about this post if you didn’t read all of this. I’m an idiot and I’m honestly still willing you hear you all out but don’t expect me to ever want to have anything to do with you. Out of the what- 50 people from that server, only two stood up for me? And two separate people APOLOGIZED TO ME. AND THEY HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING. That’s a shame. Thank you Johnny, Lenny, Laurie, and Remy. All of your names rhyme and you didn’t make me feel like I was CRAZY, unlike those I mentioned. There’s so much shit going on in the world rn, especially to do with racism. I know that you guys know. But some posts really....really tried me. oh well. I’m black. I like The Beatles. And I’m a victim of microaggressions, false accusations, gas lighting. I’m also out. bye.

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