#(naruto in the worst way possible)

[introspectivememories]

thinking about fresh genin, poorly adjusting to ninja life, iruka and all out of fucks to give, emotionally numb, absolutely worst candidate ever to be in a relationship anbu kakashi. oh the tragedy, the manipulation, the "fuck you! you dont get say that i'm yours when you're never here!" the power imbalance, the infantilization, the othering, the ostracization, the damseling. ooooh they're so fucked up and it leaks like toxic radioactive waste to everyone around them. they're in love and it infuses everyone with cheer. they break up before iruka makes chunin. they see each other on the street and have to pretend like their arms dont twitch to hold each other, like they dont know each other inside and out, like their hearts don't reside in the other's chest.

[oh-no-its-bird]

*falls out of a tree with a yelp*

There needs to be more people horny gripping for 40 year old Tobirama. Not enough people got to appreciate him. So I propose....

Tobirama and Kagami being yeeted back in time together via, Tobirama trying to save Kagami during his last stand but his blood loss made him have less control over his teleportation and instead of moving towards his other students Tobi moved himself and Kagami to the past. They proceed to do the usual of, making the village happen sooner as the norm of Naruto time travel fics lol

Except now Kagami is trying to keep Madara and/or Izuna from fucking his dad, who is not helping because he thinks this is funny. Do the brothers have Daddy Issues? Maybe...but older Tobirama go BRRRRRRRRRR

I am ringing the bell in the town square yelling ¡¡¡¡¡¡¡ OLD MAN FUCKER !!!!!¡¡¡¡ THERES AN OLD MAN FUCKER IN MY INBOX !!!!!!!! For all to hear

Kidding but only bc 40 isn't old enough to make u eligible for the title. Still ringing the bell tho

I'm in fucking tears tho that would be such a great crackfic.

Older Tobirama time travels w Kagami and instead of being a tense political drama ab the differences between his younger self and older (in some ways, both versions are harder and softer than eachother— just in different departments) and what this means for the future of Konoha. And the implications of having 2 Tobiramas and 2 Kagami's, and how older Tobirama must decide what to do about Madara's inevitable defection.

Instead of all that. It's just 11k words of Madara horny gripping his thighs, breathing heavily as he stares at older Tobirama from across a peace talk table as Izuna screams into a paper bag and Hikaku looks like he's having an out of body experience.

Make it funnier actually. Trick the readers and make the first bit of the fic like. Super serious and from (young) Tobirama's POV

He is living in that tense political drama ab facing the man he will one day grow to be, and meeting his future adopted son (who is an uchiha!!!) And all these implications and heavy moral dillemnas of that peace really means and if he will allow it to soften himself like it has done to this older him. But also if he will allow it to harden himself too— but then, won't that happen anyways as the years go by?

Then like halfway through the chapter u get the Madara POV and it's just him screaming internally ab how bad he wants to hit that.

The things he wants to do to that man...the things he wants that man to do to him...... he is mentioning these Things(tm) to Izuna and Izuna punches him in the face then screams to never talk to him again and runs away to probably scream into a pillow for an hour.

Hikaku tries to talk to Madara and learns More Than He Needed To Know and promptly stands up and power walks away

Meanwhile Izuna is actually attracted to older Tobirama but unlike Madara, who seems to be overwhelmed with it enough to cancel out any other thoughts and feelings, is really fucking mad about it

He wants to climb him like a tree. He also wants to murder him in his sleep. These two things are not mutually exclusive.

Hikaku approaches him, intending to commiserate ab Madara / let Izuna vent a bit bc hes clearly wound up and needs it. Only for Izuna to let slip his own (honestly much more alarming) fantasies. Hikaku is fucking going THROUGH it.

Meanwhile, (young) Tobirama in the bg, seeing none of this: "The true nature of peace...can someone like me really help create such a thing?"

(Older) Tobirama is enjoying the show and absoloutley aware of his effect.

Kagami needs him to STOP. This is the worst thing to ever happen to him in his life.

Uhh endgame one or both Tobirama's end up sleeping w Hikaku (the younger version possibly getting into a relationship w him after the elder leaves?) bc this is the funniest outcome to me. And Madara and Izuna lose their fucking minds ab it

[skyahri]

This is my current prompt list. Some are more developed than others and there's a few things I'm working on that aren't on here because, well, I just don't wanna share them lol. Feel free to use these as you will but please tag me! I appreciate the credit and I genuinely just wanna see what yall do with these.

MHA

Class 1A thinks Aizawa is lonely, so they steal his phone and download a dating app. Little do they know he's been married for almost a decade.

You and Bakugou reveal you're having a baby! You decide to surprise your friends before making it public, but it's turns out they didn't know you were even dating.

You'll be assisting Midnight and Thirteen in overseeing the female students at the UA Dorms. Upon meeting, Aizawa immediately dismisses you due to your less-than-professional style choices. Little does he know that your big smiles, frilly skirts, and cutesy heels are a stark contrast to your firm and assertive mindset.

Aizawa is picking Eri up from school when he runs into you- a classmates parent wanting to invite Eri to your daughter's birthday slumber party. For obvious reasons, Aizawa has reservations, but you offer to host them before hand to ease his worries. The whole thing seems terribly bothersome, but the pleading look in Eris eyes forces him to agree. Turns out, you're not so bad after all.

FTM Bakugou who is accidently outed by Inko Midoriya courtesy of baby pictures. Deku saves him in that moment, but he knows it's time to actually tell his friends. He starts with Kirishima.

(NSFW) You have a hybrid quirk and go through an estrus every six weeks after hitting sexual maturity. Still busy with your life as a third year UA student and unable to outsource your issue beyond the school walls, you look to someone just as pent up as you are. Luckily, Katsuki is more than willing to take the bait after you threaten to ask Deku of all people.

Pro hero Dynamite was spotted in public with a woman- wait, is that a wedding ring?! He'd done his best to keep you secret, not wanting you to experience the negativity associated with being romantically involved with someone famous. When fans find out, he prepares for the worst, but- wait... it seems they... love you? Possibly more than him, too!

(NSFW) After convincing Yagi to take over Aizawa's dorm duty tonight, you both make your way to a frat party being thrown at your college. He's definitely out if his element, but when his pretty little girlfriend begs him to dress up as Ghost Face and come along, he can't say no can he? Especially not when youre dragging him into the crowded kitchen for a drink and sit on the countertop, your short skirt riding up just a bit and- well, hes still a man at the end of the day. Too bad it's ruined by a handful of problem children who snuck out to be here. (All students are of age and in their third year. They just wanted to party lol)

Yamada finds a box of old pictures in Aizawas closet. When he comes across some from their teenage years, Aizawa remembers how happy you used to be before everything changed. When did you stop being... you?

(NSFW) A run of the mill mission goes sideways when the Villains have an unexpected player on their side. In an effort to protect your students from whatever mystery powder that's been thrown your way, you take the full force of what seems to be... sex pollen? You're able to save face for the remainder of the mission, but your composure is slipping quickly. Luckily, one of your coworkers is more than willing to help you deal with the... side effects.

Naruto

It's Kakashi's inauguration and Team seven is stoked! But wait, who's that woman standing next to their sensei at the podium?!

The village elders have been bothering Sasuke about reviving the Uchiha clan, going so far as offering to find a suitable candidate on his behalf. He initially declines, but as time goes on and he has yet to find a decent woman, he begrudgingly accepts.

Kakashi tasks his genin with watching over a civilian woman while he's away on a mission. Its simple enough, right? When he returns to the village and finds out they completely fumbled the mission, he's pissed. I mean how hard is it to keep his pregnant wife safe for three days?!

Kakashi has always seen his students as young, but has never thought of himself as old. Well, not until he's picking his kid up from school, where he runs into his former students, who are also picking their kids up. It doesn't help that Naruto and Sakura encourage their kids to call Kakashi 'Grandpa'.

Sasukes only friend is Naruto. That was fine when they were kids and practically only had each other, but now the blonde was a somebody, and that meant his time would have to be divided. Luckily you're around pester him in all the right ways.

(NSFW) Kakashi learns he has a size kink.

Tenzo is leading team seven back to the village, but he needs to make a stop first. It's a quick errand, one that will surely aid Narutos training, but might be a little difficult. They arrive at a house in the middle of the woods where you're already waiting for them. You look a little familiar, though. Almost like Pervy sage! (Jiraiya/Tsunade secret love child au lol)

Shikamaru is an attractive guy. He's handsome, smart, and cares deeply for his loved ones. Aside from how lazy he can be, there's nothing wrong with him. So why is it when he's seen around with you- the prettiest girl in the village- no one thinks anything of it?

Kakashi is wandering the village when he sees a new face moving into his apartment building, actually, right across the hall from him. When you turn around, he finally sees the baby strapped to your back. Being the gentleman he is (more so bored since his forced retirement), he helps you bring the remaining items upstairs. Then helps build them. And also takes you up on your offer for dinner.

Someone is messing with team seven, distracting them from their training. After spending all day trying to figure out who's behind the pranks, they come face to face with a little girl, hiding behind an oddly complex genjutsu in the trees. When captured and brought to their sensei, he taunts his students for getting bested by his six year old daughter.

ATLA

Zuko is tired of palace life, but as the Fire Lord, he can't exactly walk into town for a normal outting. He waits for the Autumn Mask Festival to sneak out, where he runs into you- a stranger willing to help him have as much fun as possible. Turns out you're the palace gardener, who immediately recognized him and decided to take matters into your own hands.

You're the decendant of an air nomad who was away from the temples to gather supplies during the raid 100 years ago. Your lineage is a well kept secret hidden smack dab in the middle of the fire nation and your parents have been diligent on passing down the knowledge of the air benders. When you hear of the avatars revival, you make your way to them and offer your teachings.

JJK

The kids having to tell their pseudo parents wives that they were KIA. Yuuji/Nanami, Megumi/Gojo.

Suguru Visits you one last time before he disappears, unknowingly leaving you pregnant. Its a secret you swear you'll take to your grave, but things get a little complicated when you start to see the curses hed been telling you about your whole lives. Then, at six years old, your daughter touches one of the creatures you'd been steering her away from, and it turns into an orb. You have no choice but to dig through Sugurus old things to find his phone and contact the one person you know could help.

Nanami lives across the hall from you. He's older, has a great job, and is a total buzzkill- but that only makes him all the hotter. Youre young, still in college, and incredibly annoying. He swears you speak another language- one chocked full of obscure references and inflated by flamboyant body language. You pester him in the halls and knock on his door to offer pastries at ungodly hours, so why did he hand over his phone so easily when you adk for his number? [Bonus!] Its been two months since your neighborly antics have turned into a full-blown friendship! You've spammed his phone with cacophony of memes and lore that he doesn't understand. You call him between classes and let yourself into his apartment to leave treats on his counter. He wants to be bothered, really, but can't find it in himself to be. You've just handed him an invitation to your masters ceremony- wait, what? His ditzy neighbor is getting her masters in aerospace engineering?!

Nosey teenage Yuuji is peering over his older brother, Sukuna's, shoulder and sees him texting a girl. He tells anyone and everyone who will listen, making them curious as to who this mystery woman could possibly be. Backed into a corner, he finally introduces you to, well, everyone, and they're shocked to find out youre a total ray of sunshine! Kind, bubbly, and a kindergarten teacher to top it off.

Sukuna, the King of Curses, is not a patient or forgiving man, but for some unknown reason, he allowed you to do as you pleased with him. You spoke freely and touched without permission, a gift youve never come close to abusing. One day he comes home from God knows what, in an obviously sour mood, and while you proceed with what you think is a good attempt to quell his anger, you're met with a slice to your cheek. It's minor, likely to not even scar, but the act is enough to cause a rift in your relationship and he has to find a way to mend it.

(NSFW) You're the best physics tutor at Yuuji's university and he's in desperate need of help. With more students than private rooms in the library, you settle on sessions at his unlces house. It's Saturday morning, you're gearing up to write an essay, only to discover you've left your laptop at his place- but that's no problem, because his uncle is home and can eat you in. Too bad he left out the part about how hot Sukuna is.

Lmao color-blind Heien Era Sukuna.

It's the middle of the night and you've been ditched by your friends at a club down town. With the last round of drinks kicking in and your phone battery running low, you call the only person guaranteed to be available on a Saturday night. Too bad that person is Yuuji's asshole older brother who's always been a little extra mean to you.

Nanami notices the shift almost immediately. In the five years you've been celebrating events at the nice restaurant down town, you've always ordered the salmon. Last time, however, you ordered steak despite how often you complain of red meat upsetting your stomach. Your occasional pining for sweet treats has become a nightly routine. A few bites of ice cream out of the freezer or something you grabbed from the konbini on the way home. Youve never used the restroom in the middle of the night before, but it's been a pattern the past two weeks. The final straw was your increased drowsiness. Youve always been an early riser, often beating the sun, but your internal clock has shifted forward. The addition of naps to your days does not go unnoticed by the blonde. You don't think much about any of these things until your husband is placing a box of pregnancy tests in your hand and asking you to trust him.

Suguru isn't sure why he agreed to a blind date set up by Satoru of all people. He's busy thinking of ways to politely escape whatever the blonde could have possibly sent his way, when he notices you taking the seat in front of his. He'd been expecting a loud, ditzy, party girl- not too unlike the ones his friend brings home on the regular- not this. No, youre obviously of higher class, someone closer to Satoru's status, if the quality of your clothing is anything to go by. You offer your name as well as your relation to Gojo, and its no surprise that your father's are long time business partners. By the end of dinner hes asking for your number, damn near vibrating in place as you type it into his contacts and send a little heart emoji to yourself so you have his too.

Your friends are complaining about men. You're happily listening, not having much to add since you're in a happy relationship, but one thing catches you're attention. "Isn't six inches kind of small?" Well, no, it's not. Apparently your boyfriend is very gifted, something you were unaware of since he's the only man you've ever been with. (Heavy Toji coded)

You don't know how you ended up here, sitting on the edge of Shoko's bed, bodies awkwardly contorted so your knees are touching hers. Her hand is in your hair, pulling you deeper into the kiss. She tastes like smoke, something so undeniably her.

In an attempt to prank Nanami, Gojo breaks into his apartment to leave a little something on his counter. As soon as the front door opens, though, he's met with a frying pan stopped just short of his face. He looks from the object to you- a civilian woman dressed in only a button down- but before he can say anything you're already retreating further into the apartment. It's easy to piece together that this intruder is like your husband, so you do as instructed and run into your room, hide under the bed, and call him. He's rushes home, nearly causing an accident in the process, and is pissed to find out the threat is only his annoying coworker. He coaxes you out of the room, open arms ready and waiting for the adrenaline drop youre sure to experience. When all is settled, Gojo's only defense is that he didn't know Nanami was married.

Toji has never felt old until he met you. You bartend at the club he frequents and after shooting his shot for what had to be the hundredth time, you finally agreed to a date. Then another. And another. And suddenly he was completely immersed in the world of his twenty four year old girlfriend. It was fun at first the drinking and dancing and partying- but he's not as young as he used to be and the liquor is catching up to him. At his wits end, he finally confesses that he can't keep up. Luckily for him, youre more than happy to stay in wit your old man boyfriend.

Baby daddy Sukuna who only recently got his shit together. You'd had enough of the in and out- the inconsistency, the empty promises, the lack of support- it was all affecting your daughter. He either needed to sober up and stay out of jail or you'd move forward with terminating his rights to your daughter.

Sukuna is in charge of the company while his father is in the states for the next month. His first order of business? Firing you- his father's bratty secretary. When Wasuke finally returns and sees his prized assistant gone, he panics, thinking his son drove you away. When he learns the truth, Sukuna is sent to beg for your forgiveness.

Streamer Sukuna, who plays first person shooters and horror games, collabs with you, someone known for their soothing minecraft asmr and animal crossing videos.

Gojo thinks you've been dating for the past year while you've been pining in secret, having no idea that this man was in wayyy deeper than you.

Gojo couldn't possibly be married, right? Then who was he on the phone with that could've had such an intimate contact name? That he was calling dear and love? Yuuji and Nobara are on the case! Too bad they could've just asked Megumi, who would've told them that his pseudo father is not just married, but a father as well.

Fairy Tail

You've known Laxus a long time, always by his side to support him, even if you didn't agree with his actions, and his banishment doesn't change that. One day during your travels, he tells you to stand by, that he can feel the guild pulling him and he'll be back soon. When a month passes and there's no sign of him, you venture back to the guild only to be met with terrible news. What's worse, is youre three months pregnant.

[martialartslover7]

Happy Birthday, Sakura. You deserve better.

You know me and Sakura have a troubled history together, but I will say, just for today, I really want to make peace with all this. Because, the more time passed, the more I realized, I was a dumbass for hating her this much to begin with. Since I neglected to remind myself of this shot of her, right here:

It may not seem like much, but remember the full context behind Sakura's tears here. Naruto is down in the dumps, but for her, it's not a mere obsession with Sasuke that makes her react this way, that's oversimplifying it in the worst way possible. And I say this, because let us not forget:

She feels responsible for this entire mess to begin with.

This is why she is crying. Put yourself in her shoes for a second, leaving all your personal disdain for her character side, imagine:

The love of your life left, for reasons, far beyond your control, making you feel like, not even your feelings for him could make him stay

The entire retrieval mission that you have insinuated, because you want him to see reason, and it ending in failure

Even worse than that, all the shinobi sent to bring him back, return crippled, like, being in the worst state imagineable, and you feel responsible, because they nearly died for a guy, you always believed in

She trained her ass off for three whole years, she became this strong, hoping to no longer be a liability

But what happens? It worked against one Akatsuki, but against the boy she loves, she couldn't do anything, he was way too strong

And let us not forget, before even getting there, your friend nearly injured you, losing complete control over his own emotions, feeling like a failure for not being able to bring your love, who is also his bro, back home, and the promise puts so much pressure on him

And then, they fail AGAIN

All this circus, all this hard work, just HOPING to do something, only for it to end in failure.

Again.

And again.

And again.

AND AGAIN.

Now tell me, would you still be able to keep your tears from falling by that point? And questioning your sanity, and your abilities and self-worth? Because those had always been major weaknesses of Sakura. So, losing THIS badly again, must have broken her spirit in ways, that is tough to comprehend. As always, she feels useless, despite having become stronger and better as a person and shinobi, and yet, her best is just not good enough.

Also, I want you to put this in perspective, on all the reasons why you may hate her:

She loves Sasuke? Simp.

She never returns Naruto's feelings, despite him fighting so hard for her, despite her clearly not being interested? Thot.

She literally healed thousands of shinobi in her lifetime, especially during the war, saving Naruto's and countless other lives in the process? Still useless.

And every time someone tries to speak positively of her, all you do is consistently undermine her, even if she is right, or she does something cool and realistic, ALL. THE. TIME.

You consistently bring up "she treats Naruto badly", as if Naruto has ALWAYS been the innocent angel, considering how pushy he can be about his feelings towards her (she talked shit about Naruto as an orphan, ohhh, but let's conveniently forget that Naruto used the Transformation Jutsu to impersonate Sasuke, hoping to get a kiss from her, that's definitely not creepy at all!) and just, in general, being a complete asswipe at times, without even realizing it.

Please, give her another chance, and try to be lenient with her, even if not everything is put into pages or words about her character, considering how badly she has been fighting with feelings of inadequacy, never bringing the desired results, and yet still receiving hate from everyone in the fandom:

Think, before you start hating.

Happy Birthday, Sakura.

Someone like you is entirely wasted on the author and fandom you are stuck with.

PEACE.

[iloveslllycatss]

RUNAWAY

— pairing : post naruto vs sasuke fight!sasuke uchiha x fem!reader  — genre : angst , fluff — summary : sasukes always seen the worst in everything, even you. and when he realizes all the hurt he’s caused for you, his word crashes (again) — a/n : i love my man and i love kanye west. LISTEN TO RUNAWAY BY KANYE WEST! (lyrics not in order, i picked the ones that go most with what’s happening) bold + italics is lyrics NOT PROOFREAD.

SASUKES ALWAYS despised everything. but never you. 

at the beginning, he mistook his love for hate, always complaining about you to himself, yet always willing to protect you. he always pointed out your faults, always thinking about himself. but you? you always prioritized him. he was the reason of your existence, the reason you kept living. 

now that sasuke was back, he had apologized to you for his past, to everyone. his past was something he wanted to forget. he wanted to be better. for himself, for you. but after the two of you got together, it seemed like he only saw the worst in everything. it felt like he wasn’t even interested in you. but you dealt with it, your biggest fear being the possibility of him leaving. you had grown attached to him.

he knew this, of course. he knew you couldn’t leave, and that you wouldn’t even if you had the chance. he knew he was hurting you. sasuke always noticed that look on your face when he said something wrong. he noticed the way you’d look at him with those eyes, the look on your face filled with hurt and disappointment, but you’d quickly conceal your feelings when you saw him. he noticed how you’d always hide how you felt, just so you wouldn’t burden him.

he felt guilty. guilty for the fact he’d hurt you without even trying. for him, it was like a reflex. he unconsciously pushed you away all the time, always keeping that cold, emotionless look on his face, as if he didn’t even care. but he did. and he knew it was getting to you.

and i always find, yeah i always find something wrong, you’ve been putting up with my shit just way too long

he tried to hold back his cruel words, he did. but he’d always end up pushing you away. saying things like ‘you’re annoying’ or ‘shut up’, he never wanted to say those things, they just kinda came out, he’d mutter a small ‘sorry’ after he’d say it, but it still hurt. and he didn’t know how to fix it.

im so gifted at finding what i don’t like the most

you couldn’t remember the last time sasuke told you he loved you, or the last time he’s initiated affection with you. you’d always initiate affection, hugging him and kissing his cheek, he liked it. but sometimes it was a little too much, so he’d lash out, his tone would be cold, and he’d tell u to stop smothering him, or that you were being clingy. he didn’t mean it, of course. he just didn’t know how to tell you without hurting you. he saw himself as a monster, especially when you’d give him that look again. he had hurt you, and he didn’t know how to stop.

you’d grow a little distant after that happened, cutting down on how much affection you’d give him, even if you craved it. you had stopped talking to him as much too.

you always tried to be perfect for him, always willing to change yourself for him. it was always about him. you put his opinion before yours, his feelings before yours, his wants before yours. you couldn’t help it. you loved him with every cell in your body, and you didn’t want him to get bored of you one day and leave.

when sasuke would get angry and he’d come home, he didn’t bother hiding it. his eyes low and cold. his glare piercing into the back of your head, and you felt it. you could feel how pissed he was from just standing by him, the only problem? he’d take it out on you. 

he wouldn’t raise his hand at you or anything, he wouldn’t dream of it. he wouldn’t yell, either. he’d just give you that look of hatred and disgust. not because he felt that way towards you, but because his mind was going crazy at the thought of whatever had pissed him off. when he’d speak to you, he’d blame you for whatever he was mad at, but he’d do it subtly. he didn’t mean it, but he couldn’t help it. sasuke didn’t know how to control his anger without taking it out on someone or pushing them away and keeping it to himself.

and i just blame everything on you, atleast you know that’s what i’m good at

after he’d calm down, he would apologize, first thing when he saw you. his voice would be low and he’d avoid your eyes, keeping an even tone with you. his breathing would be calm, and steady. and you’d forgive him right away, like you always do.

and i always find , yeah i always find , yeah i always find something wrong.

you’ve been putting up with my shit just way too long.

i’m so gifted at finding what i don’t like the most.

so i think it’s time for us, to have a toast.

what really got to him, was when he saw you curled up on the bed at night one day when he got back from a mission. he saw you hugging yourself, under the covers in the dark bedroom. you looked peaceful yet bothered. your sleep wasn’t a good one, and it showed. he felt so guilty for how he’s been treating you. he wanted to be better. he wanted to show you he could be a good boyfriend.

he showered and got dressed, laying next to you on the bed after, he hesitated. only for a little bit, before he wrapped his arms around you and held you tightly. it startled you a little, you woke up, your vision blurred and your voice drowsy

“sasuke..?” you asked, your voice was low, almost a whisper. you were confused by the sudden affection. but not complaining though, you had wanted this the whole time. and the first words that came out of his mouth surprised you.

“…… im sorry, y/n.” he mutters, quietly. he needed this. just as much as you did.

baby i got a plan, runaway as fast as you can.

his apology made your heart melt. you shifted a little, turning around to face him as he held you. “it’s okay, sasuke. it’ll always be okay” you say, quietly but sweetly. your voice like honey to him. he couldn’t get enough of it.

“.. i don’t understand….. , why you stayed with me for so long , even though i’m always hurting you.” he mutters again, his voice faint. his tone even, and his grip on you tightens.

runaway from me, baby …… run away,

runaway from me, baby …… run away.

when it starts to get crazy,  why can't she just, run away?

baby, I got a plan, runaway as fast as you can..

you stayed quiet, his words hit close to home for you. you didn’t know why you stayed. for you, it was like you just couldnt leave. you didn’t know if you could handle living without him. especially considering all the times you thought you had lost him. you loved him. more than anything. 

you understood why he treated you like that, he’s never been with anyone else, he didn’t know how to act in a relationship. but he was gonna try to be better, for your sake. he’s never been much of a romantic, he didn’t know how or what to do to make you feel good (not sexually u dirty mf 🤓). he was scared you’d leave him. he didn’t know how he’d manage without you. you were the calm to his storm. he couldn’t imagine it. he didn’t want to be with anyone else. just you.

never was much of a romantic, i could never take the intimacy ;

and I know it did damage, cause the look in your eyes is killin me

i guess then you at an advantage, cause you could blame me for everything ;

and I don't know how I'ma manage, if one day you just up and leave.

…

“i love you, sasuke. i couldn’t imagine being with anyone else.” you murmur, engulfed in his warmth. your voice was quiet, and only truth was told. “i’m not going anywhere, ever.” you say, reassuring him. 

but when you said those words, 3 words, 8 letters. his eyes widened. he couldn’t believe it, he couldn’t believe that you loved him. even after everything he’s put you through. his grip on you only tightens. he’s scared to let you go, scared to lose you if he does. he hesitates a little,

“…….. i love you too. i’m sorry.” he mutters, his voice barely above a whisper, and you just turn your head up at him and press your lips to his jawline softly, a small  show of affection to reassure him some more.

he was gonna try for you. whatever it took, he would do it.

he just wanted to be perfect. for you.

© spiderruna 2023 , no swiping guys

[victimsofyaoipoll]

Finals

Propaganda Under Cut

Sakura Haruno

Her husband is gay and her author doesn't know how to write women. So many people say she's the worst but she. DESERVES. BETTER!!! Save her from this franchise.

My baby girl my bestie my best friend. She committed the crime of um being written by kishimoto who both doesn’t know how to write women and somehow writes men in the gayest way possible specifically naruto and sasuke. Like the thing is naruto and sasuke ARE gay and also she gets so much hate for the crime of kishimoto writing her one dimensionally in love with sasuke. I know her personally she is a butch lesbian to me just trust me she’s in love with Ino and has a lesbian thing going on with Karin okay just trust me. My everything. She needs to divorce the loveless lavender marriage she’s in 

What is there to say, even? The OG Threat to my 90s anime brain, the only woman I've ever hated with such a passion she made me turn away from the color pink. I used to write fics with my friend where she got left behind on purpose so our OCs could join the Naruto and Sasuke team instead. I loathed this bitch until I was 16 and realized the author simply couldnt write women and decided it was time to make peace with Sakura. It is not her fault she's vaguely written and obsessive over Sasuke. She deserves better. Sasuke and Naruto still should be together and Sakura shouldnt be with Sasuke but I no longer believe this because I hate Sakura, it is because I love her. She deserves a spouse who will actually put in the time to treat her like the hero she is.

Misa Amane

she gets treated in-canon the way fandoms treat female characters that Threaten an m/m ship. it's like, "oh why don't you go sit in the corner and be pretty, misa, while the Men have intelligent conversation and pretend they aren't ten seconds from fucking each other, doesn't that sound nice?" it's infuriating. and MAYBE it's better now but i remember her getting treated the same way in fanfiction too, like we all need to do just as badly by our female secondary characters as fucking tsugumi ohba, but with the added insult of making her be alternately oblivious of the relationship between light and L or actively trying to sabotage it—incompetently, of course, because god forbid misa be allowed dignity or moments of cleverness.

she's one of the first characters I think of when I consider old school fandom misogyny. The annoying bitch and clingy crazy gf allegations were AFTER HER ASS. She's also a lot more intelligent than people gave her credit for, but most seem inclined to take the Very Biased word of our unreliable, narcissistic narrator and his homoerotic arch nemesis and claim that just because she's bubbly and into romance that she's also a complete moron. Which is blatantly untrue. Everyone was afraid of Misa girlbossing too hard. Killing people and devoting yourself to the deranged twink of your dreams even though you know he'll never love you back??? Having a hardcore goth aesthetic and being so Hot even literal Death Gods are into you?? God forbid women do ANYTHING!

Not only is she the victim of yaoi culture, she is the victim of early 2000s misogyny by an author that wanted to introduce a girl character because he knew his male rivals were getting too homoerotic. She is a goth bimbo icon who portrays what I think is one of the few callouts for stan culture and what parasocial relationships can do to both the stan and the idol. The fact that she is a toxic fan of Kira and also hot, funny, sociable is tragic in its own way, which I think the author did try to touch on but was too misogynistic too really get through. Of course, she was reduced to villain status by the fandom and anime alike because she got in the way of the supposed romance in their psychological horror anime

[tossawary]

One of the worst parts about Ichigo/Orihime as a pairing is that I like both of them and I think they could make a very cute couple of overpowered weirdos together, but the writing is just NOT THERE for them most of the time. It is NOT supporting them as a compelling couple so far and NOT delivering on the potential chemistry.

You know when someone writes fanfiction for your ship and you want to enjoy it, but it's just so OOC and they've filed all the interesting rough edges off the characters and don't explore what it would actually be like for these two to be life partners? So, it's like, "This isn't even really my ship... You fucking Gentrified Flanderized Them." It's like that but it's fucking canon, baby.

I would rather a relationship not become canon at all than become canon in the most boring way possible. "Naruto" is the same way. How are these authors so dedicated to making potentially perfectly tolerable ships suck sooooo bad most of the time? (I know it's the misogyny. They CANNOT write women consistently well.) I am almost delighted with frustration.

At least with "One Piece", despite the many writing crimes committed against female characters all the fucking time, I feel relatively certain that Oda will kill Luffy off at the end of the story before he writes an epilogue where Luffy is married with kids.

[dubiousanon]

Do you have any more kakanaru ideas?

God, you don't even know the half of it. Here have a few but I'm dead serious, they're fucking unending. Title: 'Til Death Do Us Part Summary: In which Kakashi agrees to let Naruto practice seals on him, only for Naruto to go and "accidentally" bind them together for eternity in the first ten minutes. This wouldn't be the worst thing in the world if Kakashi weren't actively head over heels in love with him, and now their emotions are connected and Naruto knows it. -Post war, Kakashi falls in love with Naruto over the course of the village's reconstruction and sits silently on his crush for about two years, hoping it'll go away. News flash: it does not, in fact, go away. It gets like, ten times worse.

-Little does he realize, Naruto loves him back and the whole seal thing was fully intentional. Kakashi thinks that Naruto can't remove the seal. Naruto completely knows how to take it off, but after realizing Kakashi feels the same, he pretends he doesn't know how.

-Kurama cheers them on like the fangirl we all know he is and Naruto does his best to woo Kakashi, who is firmly in the "this is wrong, I'm a dirty old man, I couldn't possibly!" camp. So much so that, despite their emotions being connected, he remains blind to the fact that Naruto feels the same. Title: The You Inside of Me Summary: After Kakashi gets hit by a jutsu that de-ages him, suddenly he's nineteen years old again and has no idea what's going on, how he got here, or what to do with himself. When Naruto takes it upon himself to help Kakashi adjust, Kakashi can't help but notice how... pretty he is. Like, really, really pretty. -Naruto is also nineteen years old. It's just after the war and everything is kind of in shambles. Kakashi still believes himself to be ANBU and almost runs off thinking he's stuck in some genjutsu, but Naruto practically sparkles like gold in the sunlight, so Kakashi stays. -Naruto is unendingly kind to him to the point that Kakashi doesn't know how to react other than to melt. He's basically side-lined from missions while they try to bring him back to his actual age and with every passing day, he finds himself falling harder and harder for Naruto. To the point that he doesn't want to be aged back up again if it means he can't have this.

-As if age would stop Naruto Uzumaki from getting what he wants. Though honestly, he doesn't mind either way. Watching Kakashi discover Icha Icha for the first time is a true novelty.

Title: A Spoonful Of Sugar Summary: Post war, Naruto comes back to his apartment to find its been leveled to the ground. With so much destruction, Konoha is launched straight into a housing crisis that makes hunting for somewhere new to live impossible. Enter: Kakashi, who has an entire house to himself and is hardly ever there anyway now that he's Hokage.

-Kakashi thinks it's a great idea up until Naruto sleep walks into his bed in search of warmth in nothing but a tank top and the smallest shorts known to mankind and makes himself at home. Naruto's a cuddler, too, but Kakashi loves it so much that he silently hopes every night that he'll wander in. Even if the guilt practically devours him alive.

-Konoha is on pause for missions, but Naruto will die if he doesn't keep busy. Kakashi wasn't trying to get a live-in maid or anything, but the homecooked meals every time he comes home make his heart flutter. Naruto's also is helping with the reconstruction, which means he comes home sweaty. It does NOT help. -Basically, Naruto moves in, never leaves, and accidentally seduces Kakashi by doing absolutely nothing but being himself. Kakashi is helplessly enamored by it. Title: No Time (Like The Present) Summary: Naruto reaches adulthood and it's like a switch flips. Whereas he had absolutely no interest in relationships before, suddenly all he can think about is being with someone. Couple this with the strange urge he's had to let Kakashi-sensei bite him, he's pretty sure he knows exactly who he's going for.

-Or: Naruto's animal hindbrain belatedly kicks online and suddenly he's desperate to find someone. He feels naturally drawn to people who ALSO have animal hindbrains, whether he realizes it or not. This narrows his options down to Kakashi or... Kiba.

-Obviously he's not choosing Kiba, ew. After coming to the astute conclusion that he wants Kakashi to bite his neck and pound him into a mattress, he starts to relentlessly pursue him in the bluntest way possible. Which is to say he marches up to him and boldly declares that they should fuck.

-Kakashi is flabbergasted, terrified, and also desperate because now that Naruto's mentioned it, he can't stop thinking about it. And Naruto also smells really good, and Kakashi's hands would be so big on his waist, and it would be amazing. But also wrong. But also... well, he'll only hold out against Naruto for so long anyway, I guess.

Title: Planetary Summary: After a seal gone wrong, Naruto thinks he got off without any consequences. The sudden wet dreams he keeps having about Kakashi-sensei are weird, but he kind of enjoys them a ton, so he doesn't mind. It never occurs to him that they might be real.

-Naruto blows a seal up and suddenly he and Kakashi have connected dreams. Neither of them realize that they're both cognizant, that the dreams are real, and they're both lucid. Kakashi thinks he's having the same old wet dreams he's been having for the past year. Naruto thinks it's a cool, neat new feature.

-Kakashi basically ravishes Naruto every night thinking none of it is real and that he's finally just gone off the deep end and is having insanely detailed dreams as a result. Tons of filth, but also a lot of desperate kissing, 'I love you's, and various desperate apologies. Naruto is slightly taken aback but enthusiastically there for the ride.

-Eventually, a few vague mentions make it click that hey, they're both experiencing this same thing. The tension is insane. Naruto wants to climb him like a tree. Kakashi is drowning in self-righteous guilt. You know the drill.

[maoam]

When would you say Sasuke realizes and accepts he likes Naruto? I’ve seen a lot of people talk about this for Naruto but not a lot about Sasuke! I’d love to here your thoughts on this :)

Realizes is probably here.

And accepts it here.

Well I think Sasuke has known for a long time he likes Naruto, but if we mean "embracing" with accepting, then it's at the end of the manga. Obviously he accepted it as in realizing it way before. He knew his feelings for Naruto were a weakness and also that killing Naruto would give him the worst feeling of loneliness possible. He tried to act all cool about it in part 2, but even Kurama could clock him. Which by the way never happened with Sakura. Then finally Sasuke was like "fuck it, I'm still in love with Naruto".

[yutori-do]

The four things I notice and hate the most in Gai's (bad) characterization:

Intelligence: In some fics they make him completely stupid, with no ability to conform to social labels or understand what they say to him without rethinking it, and that makes my blood boil because this guy is anything but stupid; He is an avid learner and always seeks improvement (genin at 7, chuunin at 11. He may not be Kakashi but he is still quite a lot, right?), able to predict, if I remember correctly, up to a hundred movements of his enemy before to be executed, someone who thinks quickly in battle and very adaptable.

My God, he drives NUNCHAKUS and you think he's incapable of concentrating? I understand that it is one thing to sit down and study and another to train, but I don't think GAI, of all people, wouldn't take on such a challenge. Appearing empty-minded is his facade, his mask. The only way I can accept that he's pretty stupid is if it's because of the trauma of losing his father, he clings to the attitude of a child as a way to feel like he's back in his childhood. AND YET-

Okay, next point.

Darkness: This man was literally beaten by chuunin because when he was a child just for being the son of a outcast of Konoha, they made fun of him and probably isolated him from the rest as a child, and he has also been under a strict exercise regimen since he was 5 years old. An exercise that made him fall from fatigue and pain, and he, despite everything, continued to get up, continued to force himself to overcome the pain. Gai's darkness is not easily detected because he is not visibly cruel to anyone but himself; The only way he is easily seen is with his relationship with Lee, his dedication to put him through everything he put Lee through even though he is the person Gai loves the most (possibly after his father). The way he pushed his (Lee's) limits to the point of telling Lee that he should face death to hold onto some hope for a better future (to be a shinobi again) is very dark. The relationship he has with Rock Lee ironically brings out the worst parts of Gai, and there we enter the next point.

Cruelty: Gai is a character who has been shown to have an extremely strong code of values, in which benevolence always comes first; He is empathetic in a world where that is condemning, he is kind to people who at best only make fun of him for how he looks. In short, a great person. But that does not mean that he is not cruel, that he hesitates when killing; he is still a soldier, a child soldier who participated in a war based more on ego than anything else. His moral code does not prevent him from killing, but rather makes him limit himself, to limit himself to what is absolutely necessary. If he has defeated his opponents and thus achieved his mission, then he will not kill, because the rest are shinobi like him and also had a mission.

We've only seen traces of Gai's cruelty throughout Naruto, small flashes of what he truly is in battle. Do you seriously think that the title of Beast is achieved only by defeating enemies? It is not even a specific animal, but literally: Konoha's Beast of Prey.

And what is a beast but an animal that kills cruelly? One kick of his was capable of breaking rocks when he was just a child. What prevents him from punching through his opponent's chest? Breaking skulls using just his fingers? You're not going to tell me that someone like him, with his strength, is not capable of ripping off your arm in a single movement.

Gai is capable of great, great cruelty cultivated by years of being humiliated by the village he now protects with his life, by the Village for which he destroys his body day by day. Still, his morals prevail, but it does not mean that cruelty is inappropriate for him.

And possibly the root of all his problems...

Death Wish: Dying for the Village is something that is as ingrained in how Gai thinks as any Konoha child, but this takes a drastic turn when his father sacrifices himself to save him. His father was, despite being ashamed of him, his World. The only person who loved him with everything, who showed him sweetness and tenderness in everything, he who took care of him as the most precious thing he had. In a place where everyone hated him and slowly began to change because Gai was useful to them, only his father loved him unconditionally, no matter what.

It is not specified how old Gai was when his father dies, but he can be placed after 11 and before 14, and that is possibly the source of what he is like; totally adhered to what his father was in an attempt to demonstrate that Maito Dai was a great man and shinobi through his legacy of the Eight Gates, his greatest and only technique. It is known that before he was 20 he had already acquired his title of the Blue Beast of Konoha, so it is accurate to say that he already knew how to open the Seventh Gate, at LESS THAN TWENTY YEARS OLD, the time it took his father to master the technique.

Gai's desire for death and his perspective of it is shown by his speech about Lee's highly risky surgery; If he can't live fully as a ninja, then he doesn't want to live. For him, Death is a price, the most precious coin that he is able to throw to prove something, to prove that he is worth something in a world where Death is common, where he was expected not to survive, much less prosper.

He lives life to the fullest, being his best person, enduring whatever it takes because he knows that his end, his death, when it happens, will show everyone that he was never weak, that he was incredibly powerful, and for someone who grew up being treated as the lowest scum except by his father, who ended up dying in a blaze of glory as an outcast, a death like that is the highest he can aspire to. For him, the only destiny is death, and the only way to prove his worth. And that's not fucked?

(And if you want to add another tragedy, possibly the Eighth Gate was a relief during the war because Gai's death cannot go unnoticed, hidden. Being someone who had so many limitations, being at a significant disadvantage, and being sent to war so young, where the majority are children or other young people who die anonymously, the Eight Gates were his way of establishing that no, he would not be killed, because he would kill himself first. Oh, now i know why he respected Kisame so much at the end.)

[ultimate-marysue]

Hear me out: batfam dressing up for holyween

Honestly they would go so hard. Like, I feel like Bruce would completely opt out because on Halloween crime rates go up and he needs to go out... But Batman is literally a costume he puts on to scare people. He's already doing the thing. He also makes sure his kids have a full budget for whatever they want dress up as, as long as they keep notifications on so they can respond in case of emergency.

I feel like Dick would "force" Damian to trick or treat with him for as long as possible so he can get candy, they always match. One year they go as Batman and Robin, but Dick is Robin (obvi). Tim gets traumatized a second time by one of his older siblings wearing scaly panties way over the age where it's appropriate.

Barbara organizes a themed party that's like the MET gala for Birds of Prey. The amount of times Dinah has had to respond to emergencies wearing her drop dead gorgeous costume and a little domino is getting hard to keep track off. Of course, there's a contest and of course Babs is the judge. She always chooses something meta referencial and cool while looking hot (because she is hot). Also, she has dressed up as every single famous red head up to period accurate Bloody Mary.

Steph takes it super seriously and has won the price multiple times over. Like, she's canonically great at disguises, you know she will turn up with flawless characterization and a handsewn costume. Cass on the other hand spent her first few years goin as a very low effort "____ zombie", filling the blank with whatever the theme was that year. That's until Steph has enough of it and decides she's in charge of Cass's costumes. That first year they go as Elvira and Dolly Parton. Once they start dating they do couple costumes like Morticia and Gomez (Babs is both proud and disgusted).

Jason takes it so seriously. Too seriously in fact, he will go as the most obscure monsters, word plays and references (The Mask of the Red Death, Faustus, Lady McBeth, Virgil...) like, he's the guy that goes as Frankenstein and says "mmm actually, it's the modern Prometheus, Frankenstein is the doctor who is also the real monster". His costumes often reference whatever beef he's having with his family that year. If he has to go out in costume he will monologue in character the whole time.

Tim is of the Mean Girls school of Halloween costumes: it doesn't matter as long as you're hot. He's the guy dressed up as pop culture references, like Justin Timberlake and his jeans on jeans monstrosity or Chappell Roan at the Grammys. He loves a good entrance and despite claiming to not care too much for his costume he always goes all the way. Much like Steph he's good at disguises and the amount of times he's done some extremely convincing Drag/Genderbend costume before his family picked up on the gay vibes is a bit embarrassing for the world's second best detective.

Duke loves a good joke costume and he's the meme of "gay people are the worst on Halloween, what do you mean you're Miss the Bus/Pillow Princess??". He also does special effects for his costume and Izzy's using his powers. People are always asking him how he rigged the lights of Izzy's Angel costume and he just gives a bullshit answer with full confidence so people automatically believe him.

Damian at first calls the whole costume thing immature, only doing it to make the others happy, but then he becomes an Otaku as a teen. Damian spends the rest of his Halloweens until his 30s dressing in full cosplay. It starts with a store bought Sasuke cosplay because Jon wanted to go as Naruto, but now he's carefully crafting impeccable cosplays of his fav Shojo protagonists. They're so obscure most people just nod along, but one year he does a full Anthy Himemiya gown and Steph helps him with the make up. Everyone is delighted to see him go so hard for a silly fun hobby.

[martialartslover7]

Unpopular opinion incoming: ...Why do NaruHina fans even like The Last?

Unironically, I really want to know why, because, I am a huge NaruHina shipper myself, and even still, this movie never fails to aggrevate me in the worst way possible, even now, not even getting angry or anything, but... I just feel empty. I feel nothing. Not even the kiss made it worth, and I am HUGE sucker for sappy romances from time to time. Hell, I am a romance author, as a hobby. But this movie, it legit felt like, I just wasted my freaking time. That's a far worse sensation than getting mad, because, I just got nothing smart to say about it.

So, let me get this straight, and I am pretty sure, I am speaking of behalf of anyone that even remotely supports these two as one: The series NEVER making Naruto acknowledge Hinata's confession, was just damned moronic, even from a writing standpoint, because, yeah, in Japanese, it can mean two different things when you say "I love you", I know that, it might just mean "I love you as a teammate", but honestly, considering that NaruHina, by this point, was always meant, even according to Kishimoto, in hindsight, not acknowledging this moment for years to come, until the movie had to speak up about it: You lost the plot. If it was always meant to happen, why did you write it in a way as if Naruto straight up ignored everything she said?

And listen, I know, Naruto is a really delayed mofo, but the movie tried to paint it as if, "Naruto is a dense idiot, who isn't in touch with his own feelings, so you have to put him in a Genjutsu to """see the depths of her feelings for him"""", but honestly, to me, this just felt like a really convenient excuse to just regress Naruto as a person, just so the ship can happen, essentially, "guilt-tripping" him into going, "Ohhh, Hinata always had feelings for me, I didn't notice, even though she risked her life". Again, again, again, none of the events would even bother me so much, if it weren't for the undeniable fact: Somehow, during Shippuden, they tried to make it seem "ambigious", by not addressing her confession, EVER. Like, almost as if, Sakura was meant to be "the final option, because of Kushina", but it was clearly bullshit, and the movie wasn't subtle on that front either. But then, WHY WASN'T IT BROUGHT UP? WHY DID NARUTO NOT SAY ANYTHING?

And before any of you stupid motherfuckers are going to accuse me of being a "closeted NaruSaku shipper", I am not. These two simply wouldn't have ever worked out in the long run, for one thing, because I am not a fan of this trope, of the girl always needing to use violence, on an already traumatized individual (not to mention, that being played for laughs, which also rubs me the wrong way, especially in regards to comic relief characters), and him just going with it, which, by the way, isn't very realistic at all, as to why Naruto never got cross with Sakura at one point or another (one can of worms, I want to talk about some other time), and secondly, c'mon now, look at these two. They are more siblings than anything. As if, two different halves and shades of Kushina live inside the two of them, individually.

Not to mention, why are you NaruHina fans so comfortable with pardoning bad writing, brushing it off as if it's "deeper than you think"? Because, I just can't see it any other way, both Naruto and Hinata were frankly OOC in this movie, considering, this is all supposed to take place after the war. I can forgive Naruto being an idiot, who is slow on the draw, but straight up going "he is just dense", is frankly retarded, considering, we are talking about the equivalent to ninja Jesus Christ with him here, who basically loves everyone like family (safe for the villains), but then comes Hinata, he confesses first, but somehow "he is dense"? Why do we even need a fucking Genjutsu for all this? Doesn't he remember a person he truly loved like her, of ALL people? So we are left with having to rely on made-up flashbacks, which never even happened in the original series (only in Shippuden, late-game), and a contrived plot device, that comes in the name of "Otsutsuki"?

On that note, I really do not like what this movie did with Hinata. Look, "Toneri was messing with her chakra", even if that were true, it doesn't change anything, because it's still an excuse to make her another damsel in distress for Naruto to save. I get it, Hinata is not like Naruto in that, she bears his battle attributes, but sheesh, man, are you really fine with regressing her back to the Genin, who can't even run down walls to save her life? This is a mess, I really cannot approve of this, Hinata is way stronger than that, and we all know it, this just isn't acceptable to me. I want my couple dynamic to be evenly distributed to feel absolutely comfortable.

And this is acceptable to you all? I call it, for what it is: Terrible writing. Stitched together with convenient excuses, just to have the ship happen somehow, in an artificial way, despite having criminal lack of shared screentime together, non-canon content excluded, by the way (I am sorry, I have to be consistent here).

With all this knowledge, the movie comes off as a truly cringeworthy attempt to try appeasing to us, who love these two together. The sappy music, the "larger-than-life" presentation, the overt reliance on spectacle, rather than substance, is just making this experience even worse for me.

Peace.

P.S.: This is just my silly, personal opinion, if you love this movie, more power to you. But to me, this is one of those pieces of media that genuinely make me feel miserable.

[oh-no-its-bird]

TMA naruto au time buckle up,

Jon should get to be a half Uchiha bastard who has an infamously hard time controlling his sharingan.

His mangekyo (which he gets very very young when he accidentally leads a bully to their death at the hands of a nukenin with a love of spiders) basically acts as his beholding abilities and can allow him to compel people to sit still and answer anything he asks of them, which gets really messy when you consider a) shinobi society is built on secrets, and b) he has a really hard time turning it off

His visions absoloutley fucked but whatever bloodline his father was from seems to have caused the deterioration of his eyes to stop where it is— and is also the cause of why he has extra difficulty w it's flip switch

Anyways, Inuzuka Daisy or Hatake Daisy, I can't decide. Either way shes wolf coded as fuck and also in a similar boat of being absoloutley shit at controlling her bloodline. She and Jon are so problem child coded, and I think part of the reason she hates him as kids is bc she sees a lot of herself in him but like, at her worst. All of her issues but he just lays down and takes it when she fights tooth and nail against anyone who so much looks at her wrong. They are opposite ends of the spectrum and she's hyper aware of it

I think that when they're older they should get to go on a mission together and basically the whole coffin thing happens but with like an enemy nin w an earth chakra type.

Mmm alternatively tho, sprinkle in hints of the dreaded fears and play w the beasts and yokai of naruto canon, pull some spooky shit.

They get in over their heads, coffin happens, Jon goes back for her then we end with them both just kind of looking at eachother like "there are things in this world we can not comprehend."

Mmm, naruto version of the fears,,, that could be fun. Incorporate the bijuu maybe, idk

Anyways, Daisy hates Jon, coffin time happens and Jon escapes but then goes back for her (if she's a Hatake, this could also play interestingly w parallels to Kakashi) and they come out of the whole thing having Seen Thing(tm) and are irriversably changed and also now very much edging into co-dependant besties territory

Can u tell I'm a big fan of the Daisy and Jon besties agenda bc I so am

Moving on to the others ->

I want to say civilian Martin? I don't have much for him tbh, it'd be cool if he was like distantly related to Haku tho. Give him the cool ice mirror bloodline limit or whatever bc smthn smthn the lonely.

Mmm ok acrually hear me out: civilian Martin who's trying very hard to avoid shinobi things. He's actually a defected Kiri nin who forged a new identity for himself and fled to Konoha to start a new life after the bloodline hunts back in Kiri killed his whole family (except for Haku, but he doesn't know he's still alive) He's trying very hard to fly under the radar, but I doubt he'll succeed for long

I want him to look like all those fun lonely avatar fan arts of him w the sharp teeth, white streaked hair, dulled looking skin and kinda fishy vibes overall actually, but like he uses a seal to keep a permanant henge on him to look normal bc hes very visibly Kiri otherwise

Tim is giving me Yamanaka vibes for some reason. I like that also bc then we could possibly get him and Jon working together in T&I, which like yay parallel to how they used to work together before the archives

Sasha is giving me civilian born shinobi vibes, I think she should get to work in the hokage tower. Paper pusher with big dreams of moving up the latter and really being someone one day. She has her eyes dead set on a position in the Hokage's office

Basira is ,,, somewhere. You really can't have Daisy without her that's just illegal but I'm not too sure where to put her. Civilian born Basira kinda suits her but I'm ngl I'm kinda eyeing Nara Basira. Wait no fuck ok, Nara Basira and she was on a 3 man unit with Tim at one point, now they just need a Akimichi to complete the narashikacho trifecta there

She totally works in T&I now, or maybe with the Uchiha police force? It's like 90% Uchiha but I'm pretty sure some other clans are spotted here in there among them, and if they're not, I mean, I don't actually give a shit so .

I don't know if this is one of those aus where canon is still there but we're just adding tma characters into the mix or if it's just vague naruto setting but tma characters are our focus / replacing the main cast. But I think it's the first. If it was the second tho I'd say Elias as Danzo in a heartbeat

But since it's the first, Nara Elias who got a mysterious eye transplant years ago that seemed to have changed his personality entirley (were totally keeping the body hopping shit, rip the real Nara Elias who's been dead for years)

He's a slimy politician who works closely with Danzo

Ok so main narrative:

I'm thinking the coffin thing happens with Daisy and Jon, and now they're kind of eyes open to the existence of whatever version of the fears exist in this world. Jon is Jon and can't let sleeping dogs lie, and Daisy is Daisy and does her twitchy "there's something dangerous out there I can't control/don't know about" thing so she's really not stopping him, but she is helping him be more smart about it. Sometimes. They're both kind of lose canons tbh holy shit this is gonna be a disaster

So Jon gets kind of obsessed w whatever the FUCK that was, and Elias smells blood in the water and approaches

Idk what's going on with Elias but he's still body hopping bitch boy Jonah here. He's very involved in the fears, and he's had his eyes on Jon for a while. You see, the way that avatars manifest in Naruto world is that sometimes they'll often show their influence through bloodlines— Nara the dark, Yamanaka the beholding, Inuzuka the hunt, it's all there if you look for it.

Those in 'the know' believe that all bloodline limits came from the fears— sometimes their influence shows more than others. And very very rarley, that influence becomes a a bit more... potent, than in others.

Elias believes that Jon is one such instance of this, his strange mangekyo being so painfully and terrifyingly beholding coded, far more than his clansmen who's own mangekyo tend to branch off lightly into territories of different fears.

Jon (and Daisy, but Elias has a clear favorite here) running into such a strong instance of the buried, which is rare on its own, has only made Elias even more interested, taking it as some sort of sign that there really is something especially odd about Jon's unusually strong link to the fears.

Anyways, Elias sponsoring Jon's investigation into the fears, their links to the bijuu, how they interact with chakra and if they might truly be the source of modern bloodline limits.

Konoha secret supernatural task force (not to be confused with ROOT or ANBU) meant to monitor the fears influence in Konoha,,,

(God, of course Elias couldn't help but make his own fucking secret service in opposition to ROOT. He couldn't let Danzo upstage him)

Just like how ANBU has their shoulder seal and ROOT the tongue seal, I'm thinking their seal is a stylized eye on the back of their neck, which ofc Elias is always watching through, rip

Oh fuck, actually give me seal master Elias and his special spy seals he can watch and listen through. It's not a power thing it's just a specialization thing— he has his own eye tattoo that allows him to directly see through all his seals at any time.

Anyways we're calling this organization ARCHIVE bc I am a simple gal. Don't ask what it's supposed to stand for in verse, idk

Idk who else should be in it, or if it should be like ground up and Daisy and Jon are the first. Wait what the fuck am I saying, Gertrude and Gerry obviously. Michael Shelly too, can't forget him

Toss in Mike Crew and Jude Perry also just bc I like them. Maybe Nikola and an Aburame Jane Prentiss? But also idk if I'd want to put them in the position where they're technically working under Elias, I feel like that just doesn't fit. Better to leave them out in the wold to run into instead for conflict. Except Mike Crew, who is my favorite little guy and who should get to be here on loan from Elias' friend and Daimyo's court shinobi, Simon Fairchild

Honestly be funny if Kakashi was in it at one point just bc then he'd have been in all 3 konoha secret services and honestly? Hilarious. Someone give that guy a fucking break oh my god

Obviously Tim, Sasha, Martin and Basira all eventually join in, tho idk how. Maybe Jon is actually asked who would be a good choice for it? Jon says Tim and Daisy says Basira, then they both kinda eye Sasha who's been very fucking vocal ab needing just a chance to get her claws into the hooks of the Konoha power ladder and reccomend her too

Martin is the tricky one, I'm thinking Elias somehow finds out ab his Kiri background and has always wanted to poke more at the lonley's very visible connection to many kiri bloodlines— but Martin's in particular. So he kinda blackmails him into it, but framed in a more friendly "I'll make sure you don't have to hide anymore, I can secure your place in Konoha even with your ancestry :)"

Also maybe he was impressed by Martin's disguise seals, that'd be neat. Seal master Martin but he's Martin so he's like "Ah, I'm really not that good at it :("

(Jon is infuriated by his seemingly natural talent then even more infuriated when it becomes clear he's actual shit at most other shinobi things)

Ok so peddle it back to Mr Jonah eye fuckery Magnus here -> he was once like Jon. A man born into a clan w a link to the beholding, with a light eye themed bloodline limit. But he was born with a stronger tie to their patron than the others, strong enough to recognize they had a patron at all. And by feeding into it (don't ask me how I have no clue) he was able to strengthen that tie, gaining more power, and the ability to body hop through eyes

And he looks at Jon and wonders if he can replicate that in him. Groom him into something closer to their god, then feed him to the beholding to further his own power, which seems to have stagnated in growth.

I think also there's just a good amount of spite for ROOT and hunger for political power that he might get from ARCHIVE, and Jon is a clear fit for it, so like. Add him to the pile !!

I have a couple more vague thoughts for this -> the archive tunnels correlating to ROOT tunnels, the real Elias being childhood friends w Danzo and Hiruzen before Magnus took his body, Madara off in his cave somewhere being influenced by a Zetsu who serves the fears instead of Kaguya, etc.

But I'll leave it here for now, thank u for ur time

[evilkitten3]

oh man now i'm gonna have to go through each of these as soon as i get the chance and try and make amvs in my brain

Hashirama

Sudden Oak Death

Bell Swamp Connection

Never Quite Free

New Monster Avenue

Song for Lonely Giants

Whole Wide World

Neon Orange Glimmer Song

Alpha Double Negative: Going to Catalina

Alabama Nova

New Britain

Island Garden Song

Hand Ball

Alphabetizing

Two Thousand Seasons

Sun Song

Cold Milk Bottle

Madara

Dark in Here

Lovecraft in Brooklynn

Love Love Love

Song for Lonely Giants

In Corolla

Heel Turn 2

Sendero Luminoso Verdadero (🤏)

Sept 16 Triple X Love! Love!

Californa Song

Nine Black Poppies

Masher

Down Here

Baboon

Jaipur

Oceanographer’s Choice

International Small Arms Traffic Blues

Trick Mirror

Cry for Judas

Diaz Brothers (uchiha bros)

Going to Malibu

Tobirama

Tidal Wave

Cotton

Antidote for Strychninne

Bad Doctor

Half Dead

Sept 16 Triple X Love! Love!

Prana Ferox

Pure Money

Snow Owl

West Country Dream

Ontario (cope)

Elijah

Old College Try (mdtb)

Water Song I & II

Until I am Whole

Transcendental Youth (senju bros)

Izuna

Mosquito Repellant

Wolf Count

If You See Light

Resonant Bell World

I Know You’ve Come to Take my Toys Away

Waving at You

Song for the Julian Calender

Baboon

As Many Candles as Possible

Diaz Brothers

Mito

The Lady from Shanghai

Cobra Tattoo

Cold Milk Bottle (w Kurama)

Going to Kanas

Onions

@evilkitten3 I wrote this in 2022 when obsessively going through each album. I cannot explain my reasonings for most and its just founders era. But god loves all niches.

[justatalkingface]

New leaks are out

Izuku loses One for All. The one thing he wanted in life was to be a hero, and we all know Horikoshi wouldn’t let him be one without a Quirk. He got One for All for a year and change and then it just gets taken away from him.

It’s so mean-spirited

*siiiiigh*

This shit. This shit is why I'm reluctant to catch up.

Worst thing is, this has been broadcasted as coming for awhile, because that MHA movie? Hero Rising, or whatever, the one where Izuku hands over OFA? If you believe (random shit I found on the internet) (which... admittedly, seems sus, I'm not sure of the validity) that was apparenlty supposed to be the original ending.

(Never mind that Bakugou only came into prominence after MHA got rolling, so unless he was forking it over to... I don't know, Shigaraki, or Uraraka, or Shoto (... my god, imagine the look on Endeavor's face if his anti-All Might child gained All Might's power and became his defacto heir, that'd be amazing) or something, that's already a different ending than the 'original' ending.)

That said, that rumor seems pretty damn validated now, doesn't it? I really don't get why Hori seems to hate his own character so damn much, because the first couple of chapters he seemed to like him well enough; the narrative respected him, he made sense, there was a steady build up of confidence and ability... and then he just... lost all interest, and just seemed to include him more and more grudgingly every time he showed up.

Considering how often the main character had to show up, it really feels like Hori built quite a grudge over the years. And between how damn hard Izuku has been side lined in every possible way, and how much Bakugou is being thrown into the spotlight, this really isn't surprising, all things considered.

A good deal of manga like to end with 'main character is brought down to normal', and honestly I've never liked it; I can only think of one where it was really done well, where I liked the ending (the main character never wanted it in the first place, he always wanted to be normal), and even in setting it only works because shonen manga in general love the 'secret world hidden from the rest of society' bit, so they can 'retire' gracefully to being a normal person without any issues (beyond probable PTSD), but in MHA they can't even do that, because there isn't a hidden world; Izuku is world famous, and without powers I'd honestly expect some random psycho to revenge kill him to get some fame, like that Ending guy.

(...I hate that that doesn't seem impossible still?)

Moreover, big part of that kind of build up is that the character has grown up, and doesn't need the super powers any more, to save the world from the world ending threat, to live the chunnibyo dream of being special instead of being part of society, but being a hero is a job, a career he can do for most of his life and make money in. The super police are still needed, because as far as I can tell, the overarching problems haven't been resolved at all. Just like how Naruto ended up, status quo is god, and the normal that was once terrible and to be fought against is good and just.

And, of course, he's just going to be happy about it, too, I know he is. That's how this kind of thing goes. He's going to be happy about losing everything he's always wanted, even though his friends (which he only got from being heroes) are still going to be heroes, even though Bakugou is almost certainly going to be number one at this point (speaking of which; whatever happened to the 'this is how I became the greatest hero' bit? Let me guess, he'll be referred to that somewhere, and that'll be it.)

He's going to be happy and content with what he was allowed to have (and even though he'll never be able to truly realize it, it is allowed, it's that Hori will allow him this much), and will never dream of wanting anything more. Just like an abused spouse in a truly fucked up marriage that has accepted that this is the 'best' they're going to ever get.

[tossawary]

This is a very niche fic idea that I have no solid intention of actually writing, but... "Naruto" has more than a few self-insert fics and some of them are transmigrations into canon characters. Some of them are about OCs who do not want to be a ninja and are desperately trying to get out of it. There's usually some deliciously frustrating tragedy and horror about the brutal and inescapable military system of Konoha.

So, I thought that it would be kind of interesting to do an OC-insert into Sasuke, probably ultimately more comedic than angsty, as the OC tries to fail out of having to become a ninja, but then has to struggle against the fact that a civilian Sasuke would probably be expected to start a new Uchiha clan ASAP. (They probably have to concede to at least becoming a genin for the benefits of legal adulthood of some kind at 12 years old, even if it means being a part of the damn military.)

But even if the OC would personally love to be a parent someday, they cannot condone participating in what's essentially a breeding program for a new generation of Sharingan-wielding super-soldiers. Children who are probably going to be chewed up and spat out by Konoha someday too.

I think it would be neat to have a character treat the Sharingan like a genetic disorder that they don't want a child to suffer. I think it would have been interesting if canon Sasuke had also wrestled with the idea of letting the Sharingan die out. Fuck it, he'll adopt if he wants to be a dad someday. I also think it would be funny to have an OC-insert whose goal is to get a secret vasectomy (body autonomy!) without the leadership of Konoha finding out.

Sasuke, as soon as Sakura becomes a medical nin: "I need you to do me a huge secret favor and NOT be weird about it."

Sakura, also still currently a teenager: "You're asking me to CASTRATE YOU, AT HOME, IN SECRET, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO NOT BE WEIRD ABOUT THIS?!"

(And there's the whole fucking issue of the "Naruto" universe having cloning, so, no, a vasectomy isn't a solid guarantee of getting out of this. But it might buy Sasuke a few years to figure out how to avoid the mad science route too if anyone tries to force marriage on him at any point.)

Even throwing aside the issue of children, even in an AU where the OC-Insert is cool with having bio children, I think it would be really funny to have a Transmigrator Sasuke announcing outright in the first Team 7 meeting that his dream is to retire super early and become a shinobi tradwife to a super strong ninja.

Kakashi: "...What?"

Sasuke, possibly talking out of his ass to troll his team and because he's already spitefully exhausted: "I said what I said. I'm the only Uchiha left to pass on my clan's techniques, so my dream is to be a stay-at-home ninja, supported by a super strong spouse who can protect my family."

I think this would break Naruto and Sakura's brains. ("Marry Hokage Naruto" is not the worst plan that a transmigrator could come up with, probably.) I think that this would be a super funny start to a Team 7 OT3 in which Naruto and Sakura become rivals for the position of Sasuke's shinobi sugar daddy/mommy. (Naruto doesn't consciously realize that he's competing for Sasuke's hand in marriage at first, but he gets it after a few years or so.)

Kakashi is... So Tired. Obito, are you seeing this shit??? What the fuck.

I know some OC-insert / SI-insert into Sasuke fics exist, I just think the funniest plot direction for a transmigrator in this situation would be to completely bail on both the "take revenge on Itachi" and "rebuild the Uchiha clan" dreams in the least macho ways available.

Also, what WOULD Itachi think of Sasuke abruptly deciding to give up on revenge and to become a house husband instead?