#3d recovery

[totes-magotes]

i have a mirror infront of my desk so when i see something crazy i can look at myself like 😲 and then im like 😲

[lovecorrin]

realising you’re becoming healthier and changing your habits might feel uncomfortable, but you can’t truly change without challenging who you used to be.

[pozartaa]

07.12.23 UTRZYMANIE WAGI dzień 281

Zjedzone: 1570 kcal ( limit +/- 2100 kcal)

Bez liczenia: 28 migdałów/ kaszka manna 'Vitanella' z mlekiem smak waniliowy około 230g/ batonik 'dobra kaloria' chrupiący orzech 35g

Dziś dniówka w pracy. Czyli nic ciekawego. Stary jedzie do Białegostoku wstawiać zęba. (Nasza szwagierka pracuje w klinice dentystycznej coś tam załatwiła taniej. Bo Warszawskie ceny nas roz*ebały) Przy okazji odwiedzi brata i zostanie na jeden dzień. Dziś wieczorem jestem sama w domu w takim razie. Będę mogła w końcu spakować prezent i nie wiem... Posiedzę na golasa na kanapie 😜...

***

Miałam też pochwalić się prezentami na Mikołajki. Dostałam kredki a S. dostał czekoladowego mikołaja i oczywiście karty do Magic The Gathering

Obiecał mi, że będę mogła odgryźć Mikołajowi dupę 😆. Kiedy zapytał czemu akurat dupę? Odpowiedziałam że będę mogła powiedzieć "I ate his ass" lol 🤣. Oooo taka jestem zabawna.

***

Dziś późny post bo po pracy jeszcze musiałam zajść do sklepu i po resztę gwiazdkowego prezentu dla S. Zrobić małe zakupy i narysować rysunek do challengu!

A dzień był niezły. Mój dobry humor udzielał się chyba klientom bo dostałam dziś dwa komplementy i to takie wylewne: Jeden dotyczył mojej kokardy ( kto śledził mojego starego bloga ten wie, że noszę kokardę i zwykle dobieram do niej kolor stroju i makijaż. Dobre co? Ubierać się do kokardy - ale to taki mój kink 😉)

A drugi dotyczył mojego wyglądu i sposobu bycia. Klientka powiedziała coś w tym stylu: "Ależ pani jest taka zwinna i szczuplutka i tyle ma pani pozytywnej energii..." Ciekawe jest to, że ludzie nigdy nie omieszkają cię pochwalić za szczupłą sylwetkę, natomiast jeśli jest otyłym momentalnie stajesz się niewidzialny. Tak jest. TAK JEST i nic tego nie zmieni - żadna doza body posityvity i kształcenie społeczeństwa. A wiem to... bo znam dwie strony medalu. Tak... Jak jesteś "atention whore" to wierz mi - schudnij, a komentarzom nie będzie końca... (Taaa, Pozarta, a ty się żalisz czy chwalisz?! I żale i chwalę - chciałam być szczupła to teraz mam) Oczywiście komplement przyjęłam. W końcu nie będę udawać, że nie zapracowałam i że się nie zmieniłam trochę na lepsze. Jestem milsza, mniej zniechęcona i to też pewnie ma znaczenie.

***

A w ogóle to jutro ważenie i ja się martwię. Dziwnie się czuję. Okres mi się skonczył i momentalnie w ciągu paru dni coś jakby mi się spodnie poluźniły w pasie... Ja już bym chciała żeby ta waga nawet dwa kilo wzrosła (pewnie nie wiem co mówię w tym momencie) ale nie spadała.

Uważam że jem tyle ile mi wystarczy, a żrę z tymi przekąskami chyba już teraz z siedem razy na dzień i na wiele rzeczy macham reką i nie liczę tego wszystkiego ani co do grama ani co do kalorii. Plizz, plizz żeby się nie okazało że znowu schudłam 😢🙏

Ufff. Dobrej nocy wam życzę!

Edit: jestem tak zmęczona i widzę ile jest Waszych postów ale chyba pozagladam do was rano! Do zobaczenia.

[wouldyouliketobee]

Pro tip for the ana pals:

Do you ever find yourself hungry? Binging incontrovertibly? Unable to stick to sanrio character diets?? How about the monster high ones?

Ungendered peep, do I have the answer you need!

Give yourself food poisoning!!!

Takes all that appetite away and helps out the ones who are too afraid to purge and lax to do both!!! Often at the same time!!!

Make yourself a fountain of faeces and vomit, with...!

Food poisoning!!

Now at your local garbage bag ~~

(Yalls, this is a joke. I'm in so much pain)

[nourishnrecover]

One of the hardest things to accept in recovery is that recovering and having a bigger fuller life means letting go of the smaller body we once prioritized above all else. A fuller life requires a fuller stomach.. That does mean my body will change, but I find solace in the words of those ahead on this path—believing that one day, I'll find some comfort and acceptance in my own skin again. That changing the number on the scale and body in the mirror won't be held on the same pedestal it's been. That one day, I'll celebrate what my body can do rather than chasing a goal so destructive to it.

I have doubts sometimes, I plan out a relapse or find myself allowing my ED too much power over my actions, but I truly want to get to that point. I don't miss feeling like I'm passing out, the cold and pains, how tired I was 24/7, the missed opportunites, or anything that came with my smallest body. I won't miss the neverending"voice", zoning out at mealtime, or feeling absolutely terrible about myself. I do miss what came of a fuller life, the moments food and weight didn't consume my every thought. We can all make it back to that.. and I know it's going to be well worth it.

[justrying-tobe-happy]

i ate three times today !! :D

[coppeliafoxworth]

TW: ED RECOVERY

I've been living with a restrictive 3d for a few years now. Since the beginning of this month I've been trying to recover on my own. Here is a list of things I've found that brings me joy since the start of this journey.

Not worrying about waking up with enough time to weigh myself in the bathroom before my family gets up.

Letting myself eat the way I've always wanted to, healthy but not obsessing over it.

Enjoying family meals again.

Having time to create instead of excersize purging.

Finding joy in the December holidays again instead of dreading the food.

Trying out new recipes I like instead of trying them simply bc it's low cal.

Taking a shower without standing in the mirror for half an hour.

Playing games to enjoy them and not as a distraction.

Finding beauty in everything in me and around me.

Not having skin tear and rub from my fitbit.

Not spending half an hour over a bathroom seat three times a day, at least two times a week.

Not having to pre-pack food for spending weekends at my bf's house.

Not spending hours over a bathroom seat after taking 5x the approved amount of laxatives.

Excited for a new day for new experiences and friends instead of seeing the number on the scale going down.

Taking a normal bowel movement without laxatives.

I've found these from just barely a month. I'm looking forward to what else I may find come the new year. If you're reading this and debating recovery, DO IT!! i wasn't underweight when i first started but was, and still am, having a handful of health scares from my habits. The first week was the hardest, but I'm happy with how far I have come.

[vixenbydestroyboys]

also here is the cake I made for my brothers 18th birthday, it's a white cake with orange zest soaked in a orange vanilla simple syrup, and then browned butter buttercream and vanilla buttercream with a little of the orange vanilla simple syrup for the decorative work, and then mandarin orange tanghulu and butter cookies on top.

the sides were rough because they didn't want a lot of frosting so the crumb coat was THIN.

it was pretty good I think? I'm not an orange person. everyone LOVED it tho

[totes-magotes]

"Where do you get off acting like this!?" in my pants

[borderlinebelle]

Have you been eating alright

wow! 🥴

oh JEEZ! we have to stop here 😅 hear me out:

pls don’t ask me these things in the box folks, because I don’t know the answer and I am a healthy weight, so let’s leave that where we found it: in hell. thank you deeply for your concern. Maybe this is more a DM question vs a PUBLIC question. Idk. Concern is valid. I am also concern! But that’s recovery for ya folks!

DM’S REMAIN CLOSED for this & many other reasons! 😄

DISCLAIMER: I love sharing my art here, but the boundaries remain.

I share what I want in my space. My DM space is for the people who have been there. My private life is my own. Take the art as it’s presented or leave the space, but it remains my fucking space and my choice what I share. I’m not going to tell you private details because you ask. I never owe you a thing audience. I belong to myself. 🤭

REMINDER: if you jump into my DM’s after I’ve asked you to leave me alone across multiple platforms it’s harassment, and you’re no longer welcome in my space 👍🏽 you are not special, there are a few of yall. 🥱

not fucking sorry. 🙂

[wildefeels1117]

TW: VENT, 3D MENTION

I ate so much today. I feel really fat

I wsnt to relapse so badly to get in shape for summer because I don't know any other way to lose weight... I don't know if I can do it

Summer is approaching so fast, I wish I could just be confident in my body

I looked almost pregnant today, that's how much I bloated ☹️

It feels terrible, I feel like my stomach ruins my whole figure. It's not even fat or skin or something, I'm just eating too fvcking much

[wouldyouliketobee]

Your gal is relapsing

[nourishnrecover]

A lack of a diagnosis is not a lack of struggle. You are still VALID, you still deserve support, you still deserve to heal, you still deserve to get better.

[imonanegotrip]

I’m so proud of me I just ate a 1320 piece of cake while wearing a crop top at the mall <333