#BUT HOLY SHIT GODDAMN FUCKING BASTARD

[crowreys-wormstache]

Listen okay it's 2024 and I've finally seen all of the original Castlevania and I just. God. Yeah, yeah I get it, the themes the symbolism, the paralells. Dracula falling for a human woman. Said woman being taken from him, sending him down the path of violence. Alucard, his son, falling for a human woman. The potential for history to repeat. The desperate hope that Alucard would handle it better than his father. The fact that we'll never know. It could be so so delicious and I'd be 1000% here for it

IF THEY HADN'T SET UP THE POLYCULE FROM EPISODE ONE?

WHAT WAS IT FOR WHAT WAS THE SCENE WHERE TREVOR AND SYPHA KILL A NIGHT CREATURE CHARGING THE OTHER FOR WHAT WAS ITS PARALLEL WITH THE TWO OF THEM AND ALUCARD FIGHTING SIDE BY SIDE AT THE END OF S4 FOR. WHAT WAS IT ALL FOR IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA MAKE THEM A POLYCULE NETFLIX I AM GNAWING AT THE BARS OF MY ENCLOSURE

[definitelynotshouting]

YOU'RE TELLING ME GRIAN SAYS THE WORDS "MAYBE I SHOULD TAKE THE HOTGUY TRAINING COURSE" AND IM NOT SUPPOSED TO THINK OF A HOMOEROTICALLY CHARGED TRAINING MONTAGE BETWEEN HOTGUY AND HIS NEW SIDEKICK????? YOU'RE TELLING ME THIS??? YOU'RE TELLING ME THIS FOR REAL???? FOR REAL????? FOR REAL????? FOR R

[spidernuggets]

im very intrigued and fascinated about the way you write jason! i wonder what would happen next when reader found out the man she has been lusting for is the red hood👀 (if youre up to and feel free to ignore this if you dont) for part 2 jason x reader. thank youuuu

Jason Todd x Fem!Reader

Part 2 to this.

MDNI

Warning: more of reader's fantasies, Jason losing his self-control, slight biting, fingering

"Ah, you're a bouncer?" You said, leaning your chin against your palm as you talked with Jason. When he asked you out on a proper date at the same place the two of you first met, you were thrilled.

Sure, you didn't want to replace your boy, Red Hood, but he didn't seem like the person who'd reveak his identity to some civilian who would oatch him up every once in a while. Plus, you haven't been dating for a while, so now you got this hunk of beef sitting right in front of you.

"Yeah, yeah.. Not at a set place, though. I move around from time to time." Jason said, sipping on his black coffee. When asking you out, he believed it would've been a breeze.

Well, it has. It wasn't awkward. It seemed like you were having a great time, and he liked that. What he didn't like was now that you told him— Well. Told Red Hood your... 'infatuation' with this newfound civilian, Jason Todd, with every glace you took with each part of his body; his legs, his arms, his hands, his fucking nose, his mind would replay those atrocious but delicious scenes you described to him: Choking you with his biceps, squishing your face with his thighs, your sopping cunt dragging over his crooked nose-

"Do you get a lot of weirdos to deal with?" You suddenly asked, breaking him out of his trance.

He shrugged, pretending that his cock wasn't semi hard right now. "Here and there." He said.

Jason would be lying if he said he hadn't thought about you before you told him about your fantasies. He remembers the ice-cold showers he had to take with his hand grasped around his cock, visualising your mouth and moans as his slick mixed with the water.

He was so ashamed. You were some innocent civilian he met, helping him out with his injuries. But that all changed when you met Jason Todd. He still felt a little humiliation thinking about you naked so easily. He taught himself to be more respectful than that. But, hey. He asked you on a date. Baby steps.

You shrugged. "Shouldn't be a problem for you, huh? With those muscles, I doubt they'd give you much threat."

You bastard.

Why the hell did you have to comment on his muscles? He felt like pouncing on you to satisfy your desire if shoving his tongue dow your throat.

He cleared his throat. "Nothing I can't handle."

"Thanks for asking me out, Jason," you said, looking up at him as the two of you stood outside. "I had fun. We should do it again sometime."

He hated you. You acted all innocent. He knew right now that you were thinking of the most filthiest things. And that's making him think of the most filthiest things. That's your fault he's thinking this way. It's totally your fault. But he wouldn't admit to himsekf that he's definitely coming over to your place as Red Hood to hear what other things you have to say about Jason.

He nodded. "I had fun, too." He lightly smiled back. "I'll see you around, yeah?"

"Mhm. Bye, Jason," you said as you got on your bus.

"Holy. Shit, Red." You groaned, cleaning a small wound on his arm.

"I don't wanna hear it." He gruffs.

Yes. Yes, the hell he does.

"Don't care. You should've thought twice about coming over for me to clean a scratch," you scoffed.

"As if he couldn't get any sexier, he's a goddamn bouncer. Fuuuck, I would literally pay to see him throw around some weirdos."

Red Hood turned to face you. "You know bouncers don't do that, right?"

"Shut up. Don't interrupt me. Anyway. I literally would've let him kiss me there. Slow and soft, hard and wet, who cares, I'd accept either. And if we weren't in a damn cafe, I would've let him bend me over that stulid table."

Jason didn't realise how good his self-control was. If he was alone, he'd be rock hard. Hell, he'd probably already be cumming.

"There. All done." You said, tossing the blood-stained wipes into the bin. "What?" You said when you turned around, seeing Red Hood stare silently at you.

It was stupid, really. Jason Todd and Red Hood are the same person. The same person that you were thinking so dirty of. But you didn't know that. So, you talking about wanting to fuck 'some other guy' instead of him pissed him off. He wanted you to tell him directly.

Ah. Maybe that's why he wasn't hard.

"You literally saw me beat people to a pulp, and you're worked up about this guy being a bouncer? One whose job isn't to toss people around?" He gruffed, a scowl on his face.

"You jealous?" You smirked. "I told you so many times. I'd be interested in you if I knew what you look like. You're hot as fuck... But at the same time I don't know if you're hot as fuck."

"You're really fucking annoying, you know that?" He said, standing up, making you scrunch your brows together.

"What?—"

"How many times do I have to tell you to shut up about your weird sexual desires about this guy you went on ONE date with?" Jason doesn't know what he's doing. Or what he's saying. He wants to do all that shit with you. Make you scream, make you cum, make you feel good. It's not your fault you don't know, but he doesn't want to blame himself for wanting you so much.

You rolled your eyes. "I told you not to come back if you didn't wanna kno—"

Jason tore his helmet off, his eyes blown, and his cheeks flushed. It was just hot under his helmet, he guesses.

"Oh, what the fuck." You said, your shoulders sagging and your jaw dropped as he revealed himself to you. Though your shock quickly changed to embarrassment.

Oh my fucking god, you just told this guy the most horrid things you'd let him do to you.

Jason stormed his way right in front of you, towering over you. "How many times, huh?" He repeated. "I told you to shut up, but you never fucking listen."

His rough voice was supposed to be threatening. But why the hell were your legs clenched together at the way he shadowed over you? Why the hell was his snarled face and gritted teeth making you want to get on your knees.

"Your face.. that face.." He lowly said, pointing his finger between your eyes. "You're doing it again! You're letting that vulgar brain think again! Do you know how hard it was today? Having to take you on a date without wanting you to drag you to an empty aisle and fuck you senseless?" His hands moved to your hips, gripping them tight as his touch sent a wave of heat rushing to your core.

"The fuck- I didn't know!How the hell was I supposed to know you were Red Hood!" You defended yourself, though he ignored it.

"Come here." He demanded, tmdragging you dmto the couch. He sat down, pulling you with him. You stumbled over him, your ass rutting against his crotch, making him groan as your back was flush against his chest.

Jason left one hand resting on your hip, bringing his other arm to wrap around your neck. "This what you wanted, sweetheart?" He said spitefully.

You gasped, your hands instantly holding onto his forearm. Holy shit, it's happening. You don't know whether to be scared or excited.

"Jason.." You squeaked, leaning your head back against his shoulder.

"What? I thought this was what you wanted." He lowly said, giving your hips a squeeze before trailing his hand down to your thigh, rubbing it up and down. He then flexed his other arm, just a bit to put slight strain to your throat.

It was pathetic when you let out a small whine. He barely touched you, yet you can feel your panties soaking up already.

Jason took your chin between his index and thumb, turning your head to look at him. "Is this what you wanted?" He lowly asked as his lips just barely grazed over yours.

"Yes.." You whispered, leaning closer just to feel more of his lips. Jason let out a guttural groan as he pressed his lips against yours, his hand tightly gripping your thigh while you couldn't help but whimper, finally feeling his chapped lips.

As Jason dragged his tongue over your bottom lip, seeking entrance, you made no hesitation giving him what he wanted. And finally, your dreams of him stuffing your mouth with his tongue have been fulfilled.

While his tongue explored every inch of your mouth, his hand was inching up your thigh, tracing the waistband of your sweatpants before his fingers trailed inside, gliding over your soaked panties

"Shit.. Wet already?" Jason muttered against your lips as your hips stuttered among his hold.

"Fuck— Red, I swear if you're gonna spend the next 20 minutes teasing me, I'm kicking you out and finishing this off myself," you hissed impatiently.

"Needy, needy, needy," Jason shook his head and clicked his tongue as his fingers moved in circular motions over your clothes cunt, making you whine and throw your head back over his shoulder.

"Oh.. Yes, just like that.." You muttered, grasping onto his bicep.

Jason's ego skyrocketed at your cute moans as his hand found its way under your panties, feeling your sopping sex as your breath shuddered, begging for more.

He groaned at your pleas, his fingers pinching at your clit as you whined, turning your head as you sunk your teeth just barely into his arm while Jason let out a whispered curse.

He let two of his fingers find their way into your cunt, pumping in and out, the lewd, squelching sounds and moans filling up your living room.

"Fuck! Faster— Please!" You whined as your hips bucked against his hand, making Jason oblige to your begging as he quickened the pace.

You felt your stomach knotting up as your breath was caught in your throat, your other hand reaching up behind you, grasping at Jason's hair. He knew you were close as he continued to pump his thick fingers inside of your pussy while his thumb rubbed against your throbbing clit, his lips pressing soft, reassuring kisses to your neck.

Your back arched as you felt yourself let go, your cum soaking both his fingers and your panties. Jason moved his arm from your neck to your waist, supporting you up while you panted, turning your head to face him while he pressed a kiss to your forhead.

"Fuck.. Jason.. I—" Before you could get up, Jason grabbed your waist, pushing you down to lie on the couch while he hovered over you, pressing his knee between your legs.

"Hold on, sweet thing. Did you think we were finished?" He muttered. "No, no... there's so much that you wanted me to do to you... And I'm gonna make sure you don't miss out.."

i'll personally pay for everyone's therapy after reading this, I'm so sorry, writing smut isn't my forte

@little-miss-naill @viylikescats @jasontoddsthunderthigh @bizarresuperflaw @927roses-and-stuff @myromanempiree @heylosers06 @doorflameburnt @kurai-hono-blog @linasymphonia @blacksiren777 @diamondnightsky23 @lizzyk137

[just-my-latest-hyperfixation]

A shower of bastards

Written for the @steddiemicrofic challenge, September 2024 edition

Prompt: shower, 399 words

Rated: T

Tags: Meet ugly; Bridal showers; Weddings; Stripper Steve; Partial nudity; Horny disaster Eddie Munson; Platonic Hellcheer

"I don't believe this," Eddie seethes, hammering on the locked bathroom door. "Goddamn strippers at a fucking bridal shower. Hey! I know you're in there! Come out or-”

The door opens. Eddie’s fist hits a very naked, very muscled, very oiled chest.

"Can I help you?"

Eddie’s gaze wanders past sun-bleached chest hair, a throat dotted in moles, a chiseled jawline, up to a smug smile adorning a pair of glossy lips, and holy shit, he’s gay.

“Hi, Gay,” say the lips. “I’m Steve.”

Fuck, he said that out loud.

“Hilarious,” Eddie barks, pushing past The Chest. Steve watches how he kicks the door shut. He’s dressed from the waist down, but the tight denim leaves little to the imagination. “I’m the- … Eddie.”

Steve’s perfect eyebrows disappear under his fringe. “The Eddie?”

Eddie tugs on his own hair. "That's my name, dumbass! Technically, I’m the maid of honor, except I’m a guy-”

“I believe the term is man of honor,” Steve provides. Eddie trails off. Damn, that makes a lot of sense. “You booked me, then? Y'know, it’s universally considered poor taste for a bridal shower. I usually-”

“I didn’t,” Eddie blurts, thinking that he’d book twenty Steves just for himself, if he could. “My best friend's day is ruined because one of her asshole fiancé’s asshole cousins thought this was a funny idea, and I swear if I find out which one of them it was, I’ll-”

“Okay,” Steve says, putting his hands on his hips. His stupidly tight shorts ride down. “Sounds like a lovely family.”

Eddie sighs dejectedly, slumping against the washbasin. “You have no fucking idea, man.”

Steve eyes him while he fumbles for his cigarettes, expression weirdly sympathetic.

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

When Eddie blinks at him, he averts his gaze, oddly shy all of a sudden.

“I mean, I’ve been paid for the night, and I have a lot of second-hand experience with wedding drama, so …”

And Eddie has no idea what's gotten into him, but he's exhausted and helpless and angry, and this random guy is willing to listen. The way his chest glistens under the bathroom lights as he accepts one of Eddie’s cigarettes doesn't help, but it doesn't exactly hurt either.

And if he goes home with Steve's card tucked into his wallet? Well, he got one good thing out of this whole mess, at least.

[fbfh]

Tristin Dugray relationship and intimacy hcs

wc: 1.1k

pairing: tristin x afab reader

genre: smut smut feelings smut

warnings: dumbfucking, tristin is a cocky bastard and a slut and a whore (all affectionate), pussydrunk tristin, brief mentions of exhibitionism and tristin having bull energy, hickeys, cute jealousy, tristin is an attention whore (affectionate), other girls are jelly of you bc tristin likes you that fuckin much, tristin has a vaguely bad homelife, use of mary as a pet name

song recs: mary - alex g, break my heart - spectacular cast

a/n: this boy.... has consumed way more of my brain space than I anticipated??? he grabbed me by the fucking throat lol

tags @yesv01 @magcon7280

As with all nsfw works all characters are aged up to 18+

That being said HOLY SHIT LETS GET INTO IT

Tristin Dugray is one horny motherfucker

Like really seriously horny

Stage 5 thirsty for you specifically 

Like I said in that one drabble he’s a cocky attention whore until a certain point

Then he just gets completely stupid

His goal is to fuck both of you absolutely dumb, and he’s really good at it 

Even when he has you both completely stupid, he’s still gonna keep going 

Like until he collapses on top of you 

But before he gets so pussydrunk that all he can do is pant and grunt and whine in your ear

He absolutely talks you through it

God this boy just can’t shut up can he

So he’ll guide you and tease you and coax more and more out of you

He’ll call you mary and babble out praise

And he’ll soak up every expression you make

Every noise you let out

GOD just looking at you??? It takes so much energy not to cum on the spot

Tristin already knows that no one can fuck you like he can

But he’s even more willing to prove it for you

Not gonna lie, he has major bull energy

Tristin can sweep you off your feet and charm you away from anyone else vying for your attention

Then he can push his fat cock snugly inside you and make you squirt and shower you with attention

He ruins you for anyone else by giving you ultimate princess treatment

God the duality of this man

Speaking of his fat cock, he’s hung like a goddamn horse

Like he’s already so fucking perfect

He’s hot as fuck, loaded, actually has a personality, he likes you that much, he’s loyal

And he’s packing??????

It’s almost unfair

But yeah Tristin is the whole package (pun intended)

He can do whatever he wants. Literally anything.

Because he’s this hot, you’re going to have to be prepared for a lot of jealousy from the plethora of girls who have a crush on him

Which is almost all of them

Girls get so fucking pissed when you have bruises and hickeys and can’t walk

Like seriously

It’s impossible to be friends with any girls that know Tristin because boy keeps you marked up

And they don’t like that

He’s so tantalizingly close to them but agonizingly out of reach

They hate it even more when he smells like you and has your love bites all over him

He proudly shows that shit off

Along with all the scratches you leave on his back

And an occasional pair of panties left in his pocket

Nothing makes him happier than having your scent and marks and presence all over him

Once he finds out about bra strap bracelets????? You make him one and he will never take that shit off

Gets pouty when his hickeys fade and asks you for more

He pulls you into his lap and bites your ear playfully

“Well Mary, your friends need to know that I’m taken, don’t they?”

“It’s not my friends that I’m worried about…”

He pauses kissing your neck to look up at you with a cocky gaze just full of victory as your words sink in

“You are jealous…”

GOD HE LOVES WHEN YOU GET JEALOUS AND POSSESSIVE OVER HIM

ACTUALLY MAKES HIM MOTHERFUCKING FERAL

It has this energy

Oh my god oh my god and watching his hair grow back out from his military school buzzcut???

When it’s finally long enough to tug and flop over and tickle your face and neck while he fucks you?????

And brush all softly against your thighs when he goes down on you???????

Best era tbh

And Tristin really does love going down on you a lot

He has some almost pleasure dom tendencies???

Someone hose this boy down

Just fucking neuter him at this point

Seriously once he gets a taste of you, it’s game over

Tristin is easily the biggest fucking slut you’ve ever met

But he’s only a slut for you

Literally

All he wants is you

So when he has you, he’s going all out

All the way

Hitting all the spots (literally and figuratively)

Don’t let him find out about your g spot

He already abuses your clit enough as it is

Just cause he loves the face you make when you orgasm

He gets kind of obsessed with making you cum

Seriously he will sneak off with you for quickies and hand stuff in some really risky places

He doesn’t even care about getting caught at this point

He just loves seeing how nervous and turned on it makes you

And he loves having something to tease you about

Seriously this man will whore himself out to you at a moments notice

He’s so fucking touch starved that it’s really nice to have something long term and serious with you like this

It’s all he’s wanted for a really long time

Even with Summer, he tried everything he could to make it work

I think it’s safe to assume he has a similar homelife to Paris

Specifically from the quote regarding Paris’s baggage when Tristin said “yeah, [I have] a matching set”

You’re not being too subtle there babe

So with all the inconsistencies and instability he’s dealt with through the years

You really are a breath of fresh air

Tristin wants to be committed

He wants someone that he can give all of himself to

When he met you there was a terrifying moment where he felt his priorities shift

He knew that if his options were a safe choice or you, he’d choose you hands down

But now he gets both

He gets that consistency and devotion and commitment 

And he gets it with you

So you better believe he is not fucking this up

He is going to put everything he has into this

Because he knows how you deserve to be treated

And he knows he can’t lose you

Which means he just has to be the kind of man that you deserve

One of the most beautiful parts of dating Tristin is getting to grow together and watch him really blossom alongside you

You are the catalyst

You are what made him into who he is today

And he wouldn’t want this with anyone else but you

[wxnheart]

𝐏𝐨𝐥𝐲 𝐏𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐳𝐚, 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐰𝐢𝐜𝐡 (𝐂𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦 𝐅𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 E𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧)

part one

Say my name I promise I'll love you if you do it So do it for me

Chaos doesn't always have to be bad, you know.

Take for instance the bed. After some good sex. The bed that'll be a fucking mess.

Pillows everywhere (you swear you have more pillows than you do blankets; thank the Pillow Princess for that), covers thrown haphazardly, and you'll be there, sweaty and sated, resting in a pile of muscled arms, legs, and chest.

You usually don't know who the hell you're laying on you're so fucked out but damn their chest feels good.

Heh. You thought your libido was high but König and Simon got you beat there, too. By miles. Holy fucking shit. You and König also joke that Simon's the slut of the three of you. The bastard doesn't deny it, either.

As much as Simon and König love you, best believe there's always a competition between the two men when it comes to you sexually.

You'll also find out that the winner of their sparring matches is also the one who gets to fuck you first.

Those hands of König's aren't just good with a knife. He can make you come with those fingers alone.

He's also the one who loves to go down on you (this isn't to say that Simon doesn't). Will feast on you forever if you let him. Will also encourage (read: command) you to fuck his mouth or ride his face.

Dirty talk — Simon is a fucking pro. While König's showing you what his mouth does, Ghost is practically growling in your ear and telling you everything they'll do to you. Everything.

They can and will subject you to some orgasm denial if you wanna fuck around and find out, too.

And oh baby, when you get down on your knees and return the favor... it takes everything in them not to bust right then and there.

König goes crazy when you suck the head of his dick. Simon has this one vein on the underside of his. That's his weak spot. Have fun.

König loves it when you run your nails down his back while he's fucking you. Loves to see those marks in the mirror.

You also found that one spot on Simon's shoulder that if you bite down on it, the fucker goes crazy.

He loves covering you in hickeys, too.

König is the gentle but firm kisser. Simon is the passionate, tongue-fuck, bite-your-lip-and-leave-a-mark kisser. So bite his lower lip and leave a mark, goddamnit.

One time they were away and you were so fucking horny, you called them up. They heard you, heard your pleas as you touched yourself, as you told them you missed their hands, their mouths, and their dicks. You told them that you needed them to come home and fill you up. You moaned so wantonly and practically screamed when you came. They were dead silent the entire time.

König was so damn flustered and hard and frozen like a goddamn statue. Ghost was fucking seething. He was so fucking pissed. He was so fucking aroused. Why the fuck would you do that, knowing he wants nothing more than to be home, fucking you into the mattress, fucking your face, or god knows what else. Refused to rub one out and most definitely saved that for when he got home.

Simon and König also got you back once by calling you and making you masturbate for them. And god, you can never forget the way they sounded, authoritative, their accents heavy and thick with desire as they fucking ordered you to touch yourself and moan for them. Yeah, that's it. Moan for them, baby. Cum for them...

Oh, yeah, back to competition. One time König was away and Simon was home and you spent the better part of the day teasing him. He told you in so many words to fuck around and find out. You found out alright. Goddamn, did you find out.

He made you ride him. He made you ride him and like fuck were you stopping anytime soon. König called, Simon made you answer the phone (on speaker no less) and made you say his name ("Say it, love. Tell him who's making you fucking scream."). Oh shit. Silence on the other end. Again. Oh fuck, you knew it was on when König got home.

...And when you're busy catching your breath, sweaty and sated, wrapped in muscled arms, after some good ass sex—"Ready for another round?" What? You look up and two pairs of eyes stare back, clouded with feral want, and oh fuck—

[chelseypprimrose]

Home Movie / Negan x Reader / S7 / 18+

Warnings: daddy kink, oral, unprotected/rough sex, slight dom!negan, talk of masturbation, Negan references himself as “the big bad wolf” (cringe but I love it), creampie, forbidden attraction, talk of voyerism, use of derogatory language, glove/leather kink (slightly)

Summary: Negan finds a smut tape of you on the video camera at Alexandria and makes it his mission to seek you out.

A/N: I got this idea in my head while I was watching the episode of season 7 where the saviours first visit Alexandria with Negan and he finds Rick’s confessional video as he’s emptying the houses out. also inspired by another Negan series called Polaroids by @reevesdriver on here as it’s one of my faves ever! 🫶🏼 I just had to write a Negan imagine in the TWD universe again bc as much as I like pre apocalypse Negan, I needed to write apocalypse Negan because there isn’t anything sexier to me than a murderous man swinging a barbed wire bat and talking about his dick, hope u enjoy 🤍 x

“Goddamn it.” You huffed out, a long breath leaving your lips as you shoved the deer that was on your shoulders further up to prevent yourself from dropping it on the ground. You’d been gone since the crack of dawn, with Daryl gone at this point in time, you were one of the best hunters that Alexandria still had. While you felt some type of way about putting in so much effort for someone else to just take the shit you’d risked your life for, you knew Rick needed people on his side at the moment. It would be foolish to try and be defiant right now, too much blood had been spilt recently and you didn’t want to be the reason it continued. Yeah, you’d played your part in the attack on the outpost but you’d all been in acceptance that it was just that outpost. That once that was cleared, you were rid of the foreboding threat that was the Saviours. How wrong you’d been in that moment, it was only the beginning.

You were now dealing with the aftermath of Negan, having to risk life and limb, bend over backwards to make him happy, the asshole. You couldn’t count the amount of times you’d had to hold your tongue to stop yourself from verbally berating his people, knowing what the consequences of giving them a piece of your mind would be. You hadn’t been there when he had killed Abe and Glenn, only hearing the horrid, sordid details after the fact.

The blood from the deer that you’d managed to kill was seeping into your white tee, making your shoulders feel sticky and matting up in the tips of your hair. You signalled a high pitched whistle, waiting for the large dark beige gate to be opened, allowing you enter back into Alexandria. Your eyes found the large sign, “Alexandria Safe Zone: Mercy for the Lost. Vengeance for the Plunderers.” You scoffed, how fucking ironic. The gate began to be moved, revealing three large vans parked up just a couple feet away from the entrance, the Saviour vans. “For fuck sake.” You thought, what could that bastard want with you now, you couldn’t help but feel slightly nervous.

“Negan, you’ll want to see this.” Negan turned to look at the saviour approaching him, holding out a small silver video recorder. “Well, what do we have here Grimes? Got my fingers crossed for a little freaky deaky!” He grinned, crossing his fingers in front of Rick’s face. He slid his hand into the leather handle of the camera, a video of Rick coming into view, looking a lot more threatening than he did now. He could barely make out it was Rick, with the massive beard grown on his face he wasn’t used to seeing. “Woah! Is that you? Underneath all that man bush? Holy shit, I would have not of messed with that guy… but you aren’t that guy anymore. Are you Rick?” He grinned, Rick stood with a stern look on his face, not moving. Negan continued to watch the interview, Rick speaking candidly about the amount of people that he’d killed. The video started to go static, indicating there was a tape that had been recorded on top of the original. Negan’s eyebrows furred in confusion, before his eyes widened at what the camera had blessed his eyes with. He watched as you were stood in-front of the camera, a light pink lace open cut babydoll set on, your breast sat in the cups, nipples on show for the camera. You started posing for the camera, running your hands through your hair, holding it up Pam Anderson style. A large sexy smile on your lips, turning to do a 180 spin, your smooth backside coming into view for the camera, Negan pulling the camera closer to his face, almost not believing what he was seeing. He didn’t recognise you, maybe it had been someone that used to be in Alexandria, wasn’t a member anymore. He growled lowly, that would be just his luck, the sexiest woman he’d seen in recent history just missed by a couple weeks. He moved his attention back to the camera, now watching you spread out on the bed, playing with your nipples while starting to rub your folds underneath your panties before the camera cut out, showing Rick’s interview once again.

“Fuck! Just when it was getting good!” He cursed, snapping the cameras screen back into place. A fire now in his stomach, his jeans now contracting around his hard bulge. He couldn’t get you out his mind, he knew he’d remember if he’d come across you before, so who the hell were you?

You’d managed to get the deer half way back to your house before being stopped by one of Negan’s minions, asking what you were doing. You ignored him, just wanting to get back, the saviour hadn’t liked that, grabbing you by the waist, dragging you towards the circle of people that were gathered around one of the vans. You could hear Rick talking about some guns that he’d found, apparently Negan thought you were trying to stash items, to prevent having to hand them over to his people.

“Negan. Got a rude bitch here for you, was about to run home, sneak this thing back with her.” You slightly rolled your eyes. “How am I meant to sneak a deer back, smartass?” You questioned, not believing someone could be so stupid. The man’s face contorted into a rage fuelled look, his hand raising up to you, before he had the chance, Negan whistled. “Hey! We don’t raise a hand to a woman, you know the fucking rules.” He stepped forward, now coming into full view of you, his eyes glancing over your body, looking like a kid on Christmas. You were still here, he couldn’t believe his luck. Lucille sat on his shoulder, his one gloved hand wrapped tightly around the bottom of the wood. “Now I don’t think we’ve been properly introduced. I’m Negan.” He smirked, holding his free hand out for a handshake, his large frame towering slightly over you. You were met with a slight musk, you recognised it as an old spice fragrance, masculine and powerful. You looked at it, questionable look on your face before your hand met his, engulfing you from the size of it. His rough skin a stark contrast from the softness of yours, the movement felt foreign, you shouldn’t feel this way, especially when it’s him.

You saw Rick tensing up as he watched on from the sideline, wondering what Negan was up to, showing such civilness to you. “Nice to meet you, sir. I’m Y/N.” You stated, his smirk getting wider. “Sir? Oh, you my dear, are like the gift that keeps on damn giving!” He exclaimed, bewilderment sitting on the faces of those around you and yourself. What the hell did he mean by that? “Load em up, we’re leaving.” He commanded, the saviours starting to retreat back to their vans, Negan not moving from where he was stood.

A few of the Alexandrian’s moved away as well, not wanting to be in his presence for a moment longer than they were required to. “Now doll, take that damn thing off your shoulders, wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself.” You reluctantly agreed, placing the deer just behind you, before Negan nodded at two remaining men, them coming behind you to take your prized find. You scowled, fury raging inside your soul, you’d risked your life trying to get just one actual nice, fulfilling meal for everyone, just to have your hard work stolen off you. “I believe that’s mine.” You spat out, the fire showing from your eyes as you glared up at him. “What’s yours is now ours doll, or hasn’t Rick drilled that into you yet?” He asked, aware of the sexual innuendo of his words, his tongue rolling across his lower lip. You huffed, knowing if you talked back further, it wasn’t going to end well for you. You felt like you were tasting blood from how hard you bit down on your tongue, fists balled up.

Negan walked over slightly to the back of the last truck, the doors open, a load of stuff that you recognised from peoples homes in the compound. Picking something up, he walked back over to you, Lucille still sat on his shoulder. You saw the small video camera, not thinking much of it, not knowing there was a tape inside that you probably would have never wanted him to see. He placed it on your chest, it digging into your skin, sat just on top of your heaving breasts.

“You should be careful with such sensitive material, never know what kind of perverts going to come across it!” He joked, your eyes widening in embarrassment as you finally understood what he was talking about. You got a look of disgust rise on your face, you couldn’t believe he’d seen such an intimate piece of film. You went to grab the camera from him before he gripped tight on it, making it harder to move. “Now doll, it’s a good job I found this before any of my men did, you know that right? They would have taken this back with them and sat around in a circle jerk together, I however am returning this to you, soooo… How about a thank you, Negan?” He demanded playfully, leaning closer to your face, nose almost touching your cheek. You gulped shallowly, your hand moving over his that was holding the camera to your chest. “Thank you, Negan.” You managed to get out, the words tasting like poison to you.

He laughed, letting go of the camera, allowing you take it back with a yank. “You are more than welcome, baby. Also, in case you were wondering, you are most definitely my favourite Alexandrian now.” He winked, walking backwards before getting in the truck, holding his head out the window, giving a small wave to you as they drove out the front gates. You huffed, letting out a breath you didn’t realise you held in your throat.

It had now been a couple weeks since Negan’s last visit, he’d sent groups of his saviours in between but never actually visiting himself. You were thankful that this had been the case, you’d found yourself thinking about what could have been. You’d began to let your mind wonder to the scenario of meeting Negan in another situation, you couldn’t help but be attracted to him. He was one of the most attractive men you’d ever come across, it was just a shame he was also the most evil men you’d ever come across.

Unbeknown to you, he’d found himself thinking about you too, that fucking video. He’d managed to score some old age dvd porno films from supply runs over the years but he couldn’t even watch them to get off anymore, only thinking of your little smut tape. It wasn’t even like you’d done anything massively explicit on the tape, it shutting off before it managed to get that far but he had concluded that was probably worse. It allowed his mind to run at all the different possibilities, what did you sound like when you moaned, what would you sound like whimpering out his name as he was filling you up? What did you look like when you reached climax? All these unanswered questions racing through his mind as he got out his sexual frustration on his wives, not caring which one it was as all he pictured below him was you. Moaning out your name instead of theirs, the women not caring that much as they were only there to be used by him, no affectionate feelings connecting them to him.

You were currently in the garage, clipboard in hand, biting on the end of your pencil in anxiousness as you went over inventory. You were expecting another visit today, making you want to double check over everything to make sure there wasn’t any discrepancies in the numbers. That was the last thing you needed, especially since you were now actively trying to get plans in place to take the fight back to the Saviours. You were just finishing up when a loud knock startled you, the garage door vibrating at the motion. You put the clipboard down on the side, bending down to pull the door up.

“Well well well! If it isn’t my favourite Alexandrian. I’ve missed you, doll.” It was Negan, that signature grin on his face once again, eyes raking over your body. You felt sheepish under his wandering eyes, now knowing he’d practically seen you naked since he’d come across that video of yours. You sighed, hands resting on your hips. “What do you need, Negan?” You asked, him walking into the garage now, the door slamming back shut. The anxiety started to kick in as you were now alone with just him, as he looked over the shelves, picking up random items and studying them. “Nothing really, just wanted to see your pretty face. I just cannot stop thinking about you, doll! I wonder why that is, huh?” He laughed, you knowing what he was alluding to. He noticed how you crossed your hands over your chest, almost trying to shield yourself from him.

“Oh no no no! There’s no need for all that, I’ve seen those pretty babies already, you’ve nothing to be ashamed of, doll.” He sauntered over to you, towering over you again like last time, practically feeling the heat from his body on yours. You couldn’t take your eyes off his, the way he looked at you making you get slick. He wasn’t one to hide his true emotion, his jeans getting tighter as he imagined you as he saw in the video, putting on a little private show for him. “I’ve gotta know, what made you film something like that? You must of known someone could come across it, why take the risk?” He questioned you, hand coming to rub over his bearded chin. “In this world, there’s not much opportunity to feel sexy. I just wanted something to look back at when I felt down about myself.” You squeaked out, feeling very intimate. Here you were telling the leader of a rival camp your biggest insecurities, possibly giving him ammunition to further torment you and your people.

“Oh doll, you could be covered in damn walker guts, and I’d still think you were the sexiest thing on this damn shithole planet.” He purred, grabbing you slightly by the chin, making you smile slightly. You shook your head, pulling yourself out of his grasp. “What are you doing Negan? We can’t be thinking like this. I can’t be thinking like this. You… you are the enemy.” Your hands resting on the lapels of his leather jacket, the slight coldness of it sending shivers down your spine. You leaned dangerously close to Negan’s lips, his beard scratching the surface of your skin. “Rick would fucking kill me, he’d fucking kill me, if he knew I think about you the way I do. Think about you when I touch myself, wishing it was you.” You whispered, getting more confident in your tone, your eyes staring at his lips, then back up to his dark eyes, your lips partially open as you let out shallow breaths, anything you could to try and lower your heart rate that was pumping under your chest. The silence in the room was deafening, you started to get nervous again, like you were just waiting for him to recoil away from you and laugh at your confession, that this had all been a massive joke to humiliate you further. “Goddamn it doll, looks like great minds think alike because I’ve been doing the same damn thing since I saw that little treat on that fucking camera.” He chuckled, picking you up in one swift movement, placing you on top of the workplace bench.

“Did you think about me claiming your pussy, doll? Fucking you until you can barely remember your goddamn name? What would Ricky say if he saw you submitting yourself so easily to me, the big bad wolf?” The dark tenor of Negan’s voice caused you to whimper in half fear, half pleasure. You could tell his personality was darkening to the more intense side, the jolly joking and fucking about traits were completely absent. You didn’t feel terrified though, like you did when he committed some of the horrific atrocities in front of you, the feelings of excitement causing your hairs to stand on edge and your pussy getting wet with every word that spilled out of his mouth.

“I did, god I want you inside of me.” You confessed, as Negan’s hands ghosted over your cleavage that was exposed by your tank top, before he pulled it over your head, your breasts spilling out of your lace bra. He shoved his gloved hand into your mouth, commanding you to suck. You obliged, your hands holding his arm in place as you swirled your tongue around the two thick fingers, head bobbing up and down as you did. The leather of the glove rubbery on your tongue, causing you to moan onto his fingers.

He grinned at you, a deep grunt as he leaned over capturing your right nipple into his mouth, suckling it, swirling his tongue around and biting it with his teeth causing you to moan and pull his head against your chest as you kept sucking hard on his fingers. He did it again, giving you light bites and licks, alternating between your two erect nubs. Negan removed his fingers from your mouth with a pop, bring them down to give one final pinch to your nipples, the wetness of his one hand causing the cold air to make your nipple more sensitive.

“Get on your knees, I want to see your mouth full of my dick, doll.” Negan grinned with a wicked smile, his hands undoing his jeans, letting them fall to pool at his boots. You felt your mouth salivate, eager to take him as slid off the table onto your knees. You started to lick him, going from bottom to top slowly, teasing him like he did to you with his dirty sweet nothings in your ears, hearing his low groans. You sucked the precum from his tip and swirled your tongue under his head, and then looked up at him, making sure you held eye contact with him, opening your mouth and taking him in little by little, bobbing your head up and down. Your mouth was being stretched wide, you started to move a little faster, sucking him, licking him, taking him deeper and deeper until you felt him in your throat. He was big, causing you to gag a little as your eyes began to water, your throat starting to get a sore feeling within it as he fucked your throat at a quick pace. He gave a slight gasp and his hand took a firm hold of your head keeping you in place, as his hips bucked, making it his mission to get as far down your throat as possible.

“I need to fuck you now, doll. Get up here.” Negan pulled back to your feet, slamming you stomach down onto the table, almost ripping your jeans as he pulled them down your thighs, your moist panties now on show, one tug and the flimsy material broke in two halves, now fully exposing your slick entrance to Negan. He rubbed his dick up and down your slit eliciting a pleasurable moan from both of you, pushing his length inside and then pulling out and rubbing it down your slit again.

“Please... Negan! Please!” You whimpered out, pinching your nipples, trying to get some relief from his teasing. He smirked down at you, that dark gaze watching your every move. “Please what? I want to hear you saying you want daddy's dick. I want to hear you beg me. Come on little girl, say it.” he demanded as he rubbed his length along your wet slit. “Please daddy! I want you deep inside me, please fuck me!” He groaned and pushed himself hard inside your walls, with no hesitations. You screamed, even being sopping wet, you were too tight around his shaft. He leaned on top of you and started to kissing your neck, biting lightly. Negan felt you getting used to his girth, you started to move your hips against him, wanting friction. He started to thrust in slowly, checking for your reaction to his movements. “I'm fine, please, fuck me daddy!” You moaned out, Negan pulling almost all the way out of you and then thrusting in hard making you gasp.

“You're loving this doll, aren’t you? Yeah, you're loving having my dick inside of you. I’d love good old Rick to walk in right now, see you bent over for the big bad wolf.” he chuckled, turning you on even more. Thrusting again and again building up speed, going faster and harder, just like you had imagined he would in your dirty dreams, but so much better than your imagination. “I'm going to fuck you like the slut you are and you are going to thank me for it.” He whispered in your ear, pulling your hair with one hand and holding your hips firmly with the other as he snapped his groin into you, making your ass ripple with the powerful movements. “I want to hear you doll, thank me.” You almost rolled your eyes at the narcissistic request but your brain was too blank to comprehend it. “Thank you, thank you Negan!”

You focused on the obscene sounds of your bodies echoing around you, amplified by how small the garage was. Negan continued fucking you rough and hard, until you felt the orgasm surging inside of you, building fast and strong. When it finally hit you, you screamed with the intensity of it, your body shook with the pleasure waves, running through your core. Negan released your hair to hold your hips so he could keep fucking you. His thrusts shortened, you clenched around his length, a groan leaving his mouth, feeling him finally release just after you. Negan pulled himself out of you, watching as his cum spilled out of your hole, dripping slightly onto the concrete floor below you. He leaned on top of you, leaving small kisses on your spine, body covered in a light sheen of sweat.

“Y/N! We need you out here! Negan is on his way!” You turned to Negan, a confused look on your face, he’d snuck into the compound to fuck you and now you had to act like he wasn’t even here.

[bruciemilf]

Adding onto the ask about smoking/vaping— I like your hc that Bruce tried it once and didn’t like it

Instead, I hc that Bruce and Harvey would do acid sometimes in college <3 along with the occasional psychedelics

+ their first time on shrooms went something like this:

*Bruce and Harvey, laying on the grass in the garden of Wayne Manor at midnight*

Harvey: the Barr test is like a bar I have to test with the law and I test the law… with a bar. Oh my god I literally teststin’ the law with a bar. A solid pipe would be better. Maybe a wrench. Jesus. Holy shit. Brucie. Sweetheart. I gotta be trainin’ harder for this thing. Babydoll. We gotta hit the gym together. Can you buy out the gym? We gotta gym the law with a bar. Get Jim to help us. Your father work/ed with him, right? Goddamn. Jim is hitting the law. With a gor on the din. Hm. We betta’ catch that Penguin bastard. Quackity fuck. ‘Ll see if he can “Wha Wha!” his way out of charges for fuckin’ tax evasion. What a bastard. Hm. His shrooms are greaaatt tho... Brucie, honey, we gotta pile up on these before taking his ass down-

Bruce, eyes wide: Gothnmam ha,s neve,,,r been so colorful ^~^ It’sssssss so.v many colors ^•o•^!,¡¡!! Tttaht’s so nice |! >#<

*Meanwhile, in the manor*

Alfred, watching the two with the clearest line of sight from his bedroom window, sighing with reluctant fondness : the boy is just like his mother

Dude I love this but fun fact: I LITERALLY headcanon Thomas took Bruce to a recovery center, which was as ethical as anything else in Gotham, and went “you can do what you want :) but are you sure you want to end up here :) are you really sure :))”

Either that or simply asks Gordon to show him Drop houses. Sure, it’s harsh, but it’s a reality Bruce will have to look in the eye. Unless Thomas FIXES it, which of course he will (spoiler alert: he didn’t)

(PS this is NOT an effective parenting method and Thomas slept in the attic for a week after Alfred found out)

[plussizefantasia]

Broken Together

BlackCat!reader x Bucky Barnes

Chapter 5/6 : <Prev/ Next>

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: Talks of violence, suggestive language

A/N: okay so I fully planned to do a smut scene but then I chickened out because I've never written one before so.... sorry. ALSO: keep your eyes peeled for the kickoff post of my 300-follower (holy shit) celebration along with chapter 3 of the Fluttering Hearts series, both will be coming out before the end of the day!

You nod a solitary nod and reach for the door handle.

“I love you.”

 That stops you cold in your tracks.

“Don’t say that.”

“That’s not really the reaction I was looking for if I’m honest.”

“Well what did you want me to say James?”

“I don’t know, really anything but don’t say that. I tell you how I’m feeling and you know that I’m not good with that feeling shit and your reaction is to tell me not to say it?”

“Jesus Bucky, I can’t ever tell with you! Two minutes ago you were giving me the silent treatment and being all pissy and now you tell me you love me? What am I supposed to do with that?!”

“I- just… I spent the whole night worrying about you, you were back there in that room all alone with those bastards and I couldn’t get to you. I just had to listen through comms and hope and pray to whatever God there is that you come out the other side.”

“Bucky, I can take care of myself.”

“I know that, really I do. I have never ever doubted that you could handle yourself but that doesn’t make it any less terrifying when you go somewhere I can’t reach you. It’s bad enough I had to watch you hanging off that asshole all night. Watching him touch you in the way I’d wanted to all night.” Bucky’s hands tighten around the wheel. You watch as he swallows something caught in his throat.“I watched and stood there like an idiot while he held you close and made you laugh and did everything I’d been dreaming about. I couldn’t look away though, as much as I wanted to becuase even a glimpse of your smile is enough to make all that shit worth it. But then I hear you being threatened, I watch you walk away with the target and not even five minutes later he pulls a gun on you? It took everyhting in me not to run to you, not to burst in and protect you with all I have.”

“I don’t need your protection-”

“I know that! Goddamn it I know that! I know that your amazing, that’s the only thing that kept me from running in there, knowing how good you are. How good my girl is at her job, she doesn’t need me, but I really fucking wish she did.”

“You’re girl? I’m not your girl James I- you don’t even like me?” 

“What?! Why the hell do you think I don’t like you?”

You scoff, “You give me shit all the time. You call me Fury’s pet and you never fail to let everyone know just how much you don’t trust me.”

“I trust you, I trust you with my whole life, I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.” 

“You have a funny fuckign way of showing it.” You cross your arms over your chest, this whole night scratch that day has been a total fucking emotional rollercoaster, you almost died and now here you are. The man who you love to hate and hate to love is spouting all kinds of heartfult shit and you’re reeling, I mean… what are you supposed to say to that?!

Bucky takes your silence harshly, he tries to fill the space with as many words as he can. He knows that he’s not good at this shit. He isn’t James Barnes the ladies man from the forties anymore, he’s too broken for that. But he can tell your broken too, and maybe you can be broken together? 

“When I say that I love you, I mean it. I mean that I can’t stop thinking about you, when youre not next to me it’s like i can’t breathe. When I hear you laugh or see you smile my whole world lights up. God even when you’re yelling at me an throwing pillows and shit I can’t help but feel like a goddamn wire. I don’t know when I realized it was love, if it was months ago or minutes ago but I’m not taking it back. I don’t think I can ever take it back.” Bucky ends his rant with several big breaths. The whole time he was talking, his eyes never left the road, his hands never left the wheel. 

“James, I- God fuck. I’m not a good person. I don’t deserve good things. Anyone i’ve ever been close to has told me the same shit, i’m too broken to be good to anyone.”

“Yeah. You’re broken. You’re a smart-mouth little piece of shit who doesn’t lok after herself and can’t follow a sleep schedule for the life of her and I love you.” He finally looks into your eyes.

“I don’t need a perfect girl, I don’t want a perfect girl, someone to hang off my arm and laugh at my jokes and just stand there looking pretty? I’ve had that and it gets boring really fucking fast. But you? I could spend the rest of my life trying to figure you out and I really really want to.” 

“I’m not easy, and I don’t think I ever will be.”

“I like a challenge.”

“Well,-”

“Jesus, Stop trying to talk me out of this, I want you. I want you and all the messy shit that come’s with that.”

“I’m running out of reasons anyway.”

“What does that mean… for us I guess?” 

“It means that if you can get us back to the hotel within the next five minutes I’m gonna let you see the pretty little number I have on underneath this dress.”

Bucky slammed on the gas.

_____

It took the two of you four minutes to get to the hotel, the entire time people were honking at your car weaving through traffic. You’re really fucking surprised that the two of you didn’t get pulled over. 

Four minutes is a lot of time though, especially when your nervous as hell and have a penchant for self-sabatage. You don’t know how this is going to go. This is brand new territory for you and honestly your shitting bricks right now with how nervous you are.

It’s not like you’ve never been with anyone, but Bucky is the first guy that you’ll genuinely care what happens when it’s over. Most of the guys you’ve been with before have been the type to only want something physical from you, not that you were complaining, you had needs and they were willing to fuffil them. They just didn’t want to date you, and never once had any of them used the L-word. 

You’re still reeling from Bucky’s confession. You have no idea how long he’s felt this way but the more you think about it the more it makes sense. For as long as you’ve known the man he’s been difficult to read, he build walls as easily as you do and he uses them to block out 99.99% of people in his life. 

Now that you’re really thinking about it you’re astonished at how much he told you tonight. You guess having a gun pulled on the person you care about really makes you want to tell them everything you’d been holding back.

You’d be lying if you thought that there wasn’t something you also wanted to tell Bucky when you heard the safety click off. You don’t know if love is the right word, not yet but you do know that he means just about the world to you. The only person in your life who really seems to see you and understand what you’re thinking. You’ve always liked working with Barnes, it was easy, but now you think there might be something else to it. 

Bucky pulls into a parking spot right at the front of the building and within seconds he’s by your door opening it and offering you a hand to step out.

“Eager?”

“Very.”

He pulls you out of the car but doesn’t step back, he crowds you in every sense of the word. You see and smell and think nothing but him. This close you notice the little things that you hadn’t before, like the little piece of hair that keeps falling onto his forehead, escaping the gel holding the rest of his locks back. Or the way small scars he has, one above his eyebrow, a line to the right of his lip, a little triangle under his eyes. You could spend hours studying him, he doesn’t give you that long tough,

“Can I kiss you?” He asks, moving closer to your mouth. You don’t answer, just push yourself into him. You practically melt at the little groan that falls past his lips. 

His hands fall to your hips almost instintually, the grab ahold of you firmly not willing to let you move even an inch from his hold.

His mouth moves passionalty against yours, he takes his time really trying to get to feel you, to taste you. The pulls away only enough to get air into his lungs, resting his forehead agaisnt yours. God he could kiss you for a lifetime and even a bit longer than that.

“That was…” you start.

“Yeah.” The corners of his lips turn up into a genuine smile. You love his smile even if you don’t get to see it that often. 

“James?” 

“Yeah Kitty?” He giggles… this grown ass man giggles into you.

“Take me upstairs, these people don’t need a show.” You nod your head at the gathering of people outside, trying and failing to make it look like they weren’t just staring.

“Gladly.” 

[bteezxyewriter12]

Strip

Pairing- Hyung Line x Named Reader

Word count- 5.8k

Includes- Sex with all of Hyung Line, fingering, blow job, pussy eating, cum eating, missionary, sex from behind cock riding, multiple orgasms

Tag List- @mingtina @jaxminnie @yeosayang @delightfulmoonbanana @tannie13 @y00nzin0 @marsstarxhwa

@borntowalkaway @soulseobi05 @kpop-bambi @seokwoosmole @meowmeowminnie @realisticnotes @effielumiere @svnbangtansworld @pinkies-things @insomniacatiny @marvelfamily3000 @amyz78 @blueie-things

Gif Credit- Apple Tape

Masterlists- check out for more fics📝Masterlists 📝BTS Masterlist 📝OT7 Masterlist

J POV

“Yes! I win!”, I yell, throwing down my cards on the carpet

“What? How?”, Yoongi groans

“Oh c'mon!”, Namjoon sighs

“Haha! Take it off losers!”, I clap

Namjoon rolls his eyes and takes his shirt off

Holy shit

I know my eyes just popped out of my head

He’s fucking beautiful

He just has to lose once more- then he has to take his boxers off and loses

Jin takes his shirt off too

Again, with the eye popping

He’s so hot

He still has his jeans and boxers

Hobi takes his pants off- he still has his shirt and boxers too

And Yoongi…bastard is still fully dressed

He’s really good at poker

He just takes his socks off

Ass

And me?

I suck

I’m in my bra and panties.

This is all Hobi’s fault

We all were playing cards together, when Hobi jokingly suggested strip poker

The guys were all for it and so was I

I just didn’t think I’d lose so terribly.

“Next hand!”, Namjoon grumbles

Yoongi deals and I get my cards

They suck

I’m losing for sure

At the end of this hand, Namjoon wins

“Finally!”, he yells

“Fuck”, Yoongi sighs

One by one the guys take off one piece of clothing

I’m hit with Hobi’s abs this time

He worked on them for ARMYS to show off when they did the “Idol” dance practice

And now I get to see them

Although I’m sure Hobi is gorgeous without them too

They all look at me expectantly

“Fine”, I sigh

I reach around and unclapse my bra

I’m not a baby

I lost so I’m gonna take something off

I take it off and toss it behind me

“Holy fuck”, Hobi whispers

I look up to see all four of them staring at me with their mouths open

“What? You never seen boobs before?”, I roll my eyes

“Yeah….just not yours”, Jin mutters

“Well now you see them. Happy?”

“Yeah very happy”, Yoongi chokes out

Namjoon just nods

“Very big”, Hobi gapes

“C'mon stop staring and let’s play!”

It’s Namjoon’s turn to deal

I look at my cards

Completely useless

“Oh what the fuck?”, I groan

“Sucky cards?”, Yoongi asks, smirking when I look at him

“Shut up”

“I win”, Namjoon and Jin say

They look at their cards

“I win”, Jin insists and he’s right.

His full house is higher than Namjoon’s

“Goddamn it!”, he yells

“Oh shut up”, Yoongi rolls his eyes, pulling his shirt off

Jesus Christ, I’m in heaven

Four fucking hot guys in various stages of undress in front of me

I’m dying

Namjoon and Hobi take off their boxers but hide themselves

What babies

My turn

I stand up, then slowly pull my panties down, stepping out of them

When I look up, I want to laugh

Jin’s eyes are wide and his mouth is open

Namjoon and Hobi looked so shocked and are turning red

And Yoongi- he’s smirking and biting his lip

“Jesus”, Namjoon whispers

“Well I lose.”, I announce, walking to the couch and laying down on my stomach, “Jin and Yoongi still have to play to see who wins”

Silence

“Uh hello? Guys!”, I yell, clapping loudly

They all jump and tear their eyes away from me

God, you’d think they never seen a naked girl before

“Deal the cards Jin”, I instruct

“I uh have an idea”, Namjoon mutters

“What?”, Yoongi asks

“What if we bet on something else?”

“Like what?”, Hobi asks

“Well uh the winner can do something to Jo. If she wants”

What?

Do something like what?

Is he for real?

“Do what?”, Jin asks, confused

“Something sexual”, Namjoon answers

Damn he’s horny

I mean me too, but still

Damn

“But only if she wants”

Uh yeah, I want

I want all of them but there’s one in particular I really want

The one I’m in love with but has no clue

Also he doesn’t feel like that for me

I know

When I asked about why he doesn’t have a girlfriend, like some of the maknaes, he said it’s because he doesn’t want one and no girl has caught his eye yet

None that he wants to look twice at

That includes me

So I just suck it up and ignore my feelings

“So what will the winner do?”, I ask

“How about this round, the winner fingers you until you cum”, Yoongi suggests

Sounds like fun

“Ok”, I agree

“Wait- really?”, Hobi asks

“Yeah. If the winner wants to I’m game”

“Yeah ok”, Jin agrees

They all agree

Yoongi deals out the cards and I watch them play, wondering whose gonna win

Finally Hobi yells, “I win!”

He turns to me, “Are you sure?”

I nod, “Yes”

He stands up and comes over to me

He’s not hiding himself and I get a glimpse of his huge hard cock

Christ

Who knew Hobi was packing that thing?

Hobi sits on the floor in front of me

He leans in, his lips on mine in a second

Jesus

While he kisses me, he moves me, getting me on my back on the couch

I feel his hands all over me, touching me everywhere

It feels good

He sits on his knees on the floor, then starts kissing my body, while his hand moves down

I’m so excited

It feels so fucking good when he finally touches me

“Aw baby is so wet already”, he smirks at me

Goddamn he’s fucking hot

“Open your legs baby and I’ll make you feel good”

Shit

I bite my lip, opening my legs for him

“That’s a good girl”

Jesus, why do I like him calling me that?

Using his finger, he moves it on my clit, pleasure shooting through me

“Fuck”, I yell

I feel Hobi’s lips on my stomach, licking and sucking my skin

Then he slides his fingers down, inside

Oh my god

“Fuck baby”, he moans

He slides his fingers in and out, making me yell

“Fuck baby’s pussy is so tight”, he whimpers

Fuck me, he’s turning me on so much

“I want to know how baby’s pussy feels on my cock”, he murmurs

“Maybe you can later”, I smirk at him

“Oh Jo, if that happens I’ll fuck you so good”

My god

“But first you have to cum now”, he says

He puts his thumb on my clit, rubbing it while he moves his fingers

“Oh fuck”, I moan

I watch Hobi take my nipple in his mouth, sucking

I cry out, my body arching, pushing my breast more in his mouth

“Fuck you’re so hot”, he mutters

His fingers moves faster, pushing me right there

Moving again, massive pleasure hits me

“Hobi oh shit”, I yell, grabbing his arm and holding it to me, keeping his fingers in while I cum all over them

“Good girl”, he keeps whispering

When I’m done, I lay there, breathing hard

Hobi pulls his fingers out, looking at them with my cum on them

I watch him and he puts his fingers in his mouth, sucking on them

“Fucking good”, he whimpers

Oh my god, I can’t

He kisses me one more time, then moves away

When I look at the guys, their mouths are all open, looking so fucked out

“Ok whose dealing?”, Hobi asks

“Wwww…what?”, Jin stutters

“We’re still playing right?”, Hobi asks

“Oh uh yeah”, Jin answers, recovering from his shock, “What’s the bet this time?”

“Winner eats her out”, Yoongi says immediately

Oh hell yeah

“She tastes so fucking good”, Hobi comments

“Fuck Hoseok”, Namjoon answers

“Deal the cards”, Jin demands

They play another hand

“Yes! I win!”, Namjoon yells excitedly

“Motherfucker!”, Yoongi shouts angrily and throws his cards on the floor

“Damn Yoongi, you want her that much?”Hobi smirks

“Of course. Do you fucking see her? Of course I want her. You do too, Jin does and from how excited Namjoon is, he wants her too”, Yoongi snaps

What?

They want me?

Why?

I’m nothing special

Just Tae’s boring friend

Namjoon gets up and comes to me quickly

Jesus his cock is big too. Are they all like that?

Because damn

Namjoon helps me sit up and kisses me

He’s a good kisser

He pulls me closer to him, sitting in front of me

Opening my legs, he sucks in a breath

“Fuck Jo”, he whimpers

He puts my legs on his shoulders, then leans in

I feel his tongue on me, swiping up my pussy

“Mother shit!”, I yell

He starts moving his tongue rapidly, swirling all over

Oh god, it feels so good

How is he so good at this?

Using his hands, he opens me more

“Aww, baby’s clit is so little”, he teases, then swipes his tongue on it

“Fuck!”, I shout

“Baby likes it there?”, he asks, licking again

I nod, my body shivering

“That’s where you want my tongue baby?”

“Y..Yyyy….yes”, I stammer

“Ok”, he says simply, then licks my clit over and over

My hand involuntarily goes in his hair, pulling

Namjoon sucks on my clit and pleasure blasts through my entire body

My hips snap up in his face on their own, making him moan

His tongue runs all over again and I just explode

“Fuck fuck fuck NAMJOON!”, I shout, coming in his mouth

He keeps licking, moaning, “Oh fuck, so good”

Jesus, he’s gonna make me cum again

When his tongue flicks my clit again, I can’t hold back, orgasming again

“Fuck yes”, Namjoon yells, tongue still moving

My body relaxes when I finish

Namjoon kisses my pussy, the gets up

“My favorite taste now”, he tells me

Shit

He kisses my cheek then goes to sit down

I move and lay down again, just relaxing for a minute, my eyes closed

“Next hand. Winner fucks her until she cums.”, Jin yells

Jesus Jin

I had no idea he could be like this

“Do we cum too?”, Hobi asks

“No. Not if you want to do it again”

Again?

Well I’m excited again

God I’m such a slut

But I don’t care

Fucking BTS members?

Hell yes

“Deal”, Hobi orders

After a few minutes, I hear, “YES! Fuck yes!”

I open my eyes, to see Jin standing up and the guys glaring at him

Jin practically runs to me

He’s so cute

“Can I Jo?”, he asks

“Yeah Jinnie”, I agree

He pulls his boxers off, his big cock so hard

Damn, they’re all huge

Jin moves on top of me, kissing my lips, hands roaming all over

“Jesus Jo, your skin is so fucking soft. I love it”, he murmurs, kissing my neck

I feel him right there, so I wrap my legs around him, asking, “Please”

Fuck I want it so much

When did I get so horny?

He nods, pushing in

“Oh my god!”, I yell, while he shouts, “Fuck, fuck, fuck”, as he slides all in

I can’t help it, I’m so horny that I shiver and actually orgasm

“Fuck Jin”, I scream, pleasure running all over me

“Oh god, oh god”, Jin moans

“Holy shit did she just cum?”, Namjoon gasps

Jin nods

“From him going in?”, Hobi exclaims

“Yes”, I whimper

“God damn”, Yoongi mutters

“Baby…”, Jin asks, not knowing what to do

“It doesn’t count”, I answer

“Wait what?”, Hobi asks

“It doesn’t count. He didn’t fuck me, he just went in. The bet was that he’d fuck me until I cum. And he’s going to do that”, I answer

“Not fair”, Namjoon whines

“Yes it is. It’d be the same if it was you Joonie. Or any of you”

“Fine. Just do it”, Yoongi answers, waving his hand.

When I look back at Jin, he asks, “Yeah Jo?”

I nod, “Yeah Jinnie”

The smile that bursts on his face is so beautiful

Jin moves back until he’s almost all out, then slams back in

“Yes!”, I scream, “Again”

He does it again and goddamn it feels so fucking good

Jin moves faster, slamming harder every time

I love it

He’s driving me crazy

He’s kissing my neck, shoulders, chest, everywhere his lips can touch

His hands are softly touching all over my body making me shiver under his touch

Jin brushes against my spot and fucking stars burst in my vision

“Fuck, more Jin, more”, I cry

“More baby?”, he asks

“Yes. Don’t stop”

“I won’t baby”, he whispers, continuously thrusting right in my spot

I feel my orgasm coming, he just has to move a few more time

“Jin, Jin, SEOKJIN!”, I scream, losing it and exploding in pleasure

“Yes baby, fuck yes”, he murmurs

“Jin, oh god Jin!”

He pulls out when I’m finished, my body so tired and sensitive

“Fuck, deal the fucking cards now!”, Yoongi growls loudly

“What’s the bet?”, Hobi asks

“I don’t care, I just want her”, he yells

They all did something for me, now it’s my turn

“I’ll ride the winner until they cum”, I say

Their gazes all snap to me

“W..ww..Wha?”, Hobi’s jaw drops

“Whoever wins, I’ll ride them until they cum”, I repeat

“You…ride….you will?”, Namjoon gulps

I nod, “Good luck”

“Give me fucking cards”, Yoongi demands

The game is so intense, with all of them so quiet and concentrating on their cards

Jesus

They’re like this just because they’re gonna get sex?

“FUCKING YES! FINALLY!”, Yoongi screams

“Fuck this shit!”, Hobi growls, upset

“Seriously”, Jin agrees

Fuck yes

I’m excited

Poor Yoongi didn’t get anything yet, he had to watch everyone else

I’m gonna make him feel so good

I get up, walking to Yoongi

He stares up at me, gulping, when I get in front of him

He likes to act so tough but he’s not

He’s really a soft teddy bear

Holding out my hand to him, he takes it and stands up

I kiss him, pulling down his pants and boxers, he still has on

He kisses me back, his arms going around me

I push him back against the couch he was sitting in front of

This one is bigger than the one I was on

I push him down, making him sit

Looking at him, he’s so fucking beautiful

And his cock is bigger than the rest of the guys, albeit not by much

I’m going to have so much fun now

Climbing on Yoongi, I sit on his cock, sliding down slowly

“Oh god!”, he cries out

“Fuck”, I moan

His cock is already against my spot and I know that the second I move, massive pleasure is going to fill my body

“Please baby. Please”, he moans

Sliding up his shaft, I slam back down hard

Oh god the pleasure is so intense

“Fuck”, he yells, “Again, please, again”

I lean back, putting my hands on his legs and start moving fast and hard on him, his cock hitting my spot over and over

“Oh my god! Fuck baby, you’re so good at this”, he yells

I smirk at him

“You like it Yoongi?”

“I fucking love it. You’re so fucking tight, you feel so good”, he pants, his hands running all over my sides, squeezing my breasts

He’s so hard, every slam is getting me closer

I tighten on him as I slide up and down

“Holy fuck!”, he yells

I’m gonna cum any second

“Yes, Jo, do it baby. Cum on my cock baby girl”, he yells

My body shivers, intense pleasure ripping through me

“YOONGI!”, I yell, exploding on him

“Yes fuck yes!”, he shouts, holding me on him, when he cums

After we both finish, I get taken off of Yoongi and put on my hands and knees on the floor

“Can I baby? Please”, Namjoon begs

“Yes Joonie. Yes”, I moan, horny again

How, I have no clue

Namjoon thrusts in, pleasure taking over again

“Yes”, I cry

He starts ramming into me hard and fast, his huge cock opening up me so good

“Jesus, Yoongi was right baby. You’re so tight”, he moans

When I look back, I almost cum from the pleasure on Namjoon’s face

I making him, all of them feel this amazing

It’s such as rush

When I turn back, Jin is sitting there, so fucking hard, his hand on his cock

Poor baby

“Come here Jinnie”, I call

His gaze moves to mine. He gets up and comes to me

“Lay down Jin”, I manage to get out

Namjoon is still pounding into me, making me have a hard time talking

Jin lays down and I take all of him in my mouth

“Oh my fuck!”, he yells

I move my head, sliding him in and out of my mouth

God I love feeling him in my throat.

His hand goes in my hair automatically, pulling

It doesn’t hurt

It actually feels good

Sucking on his head makes him go insane

“Fuck Jo, you’re fucking mouth baby”

I lick the underside of his head

“Again baby. Fuck lick me again”, he cries

I do what he wants

Just then Namjoon slams in the right spot

I clench his cock so hard, coming and screaming on Jin’s cock at how good it feels

“Jesus Christ”, Namjoon yells, coming, “Yes baby, god, yes!”

Namjoon pulls out just as Jin yells, “Baby please. I wanna cum in you. I want to feel your pussy on my cock. Please”

“Yeah Jin. Yes. I want to feel you inside again baby”

Before I know it, I’m on my back, Jin’s cock inside, causing more pleasure

“Fuck, yes”, he groans, slamming hard inside

“Cum Joanne. Now”, he demands

He slams in a few more times, and I scream, going over the edge again

“Jinnie!”, I yell

Jin pounds in again, and I watch the pleasure on his face when he cums

He yells and moans, then when he’s done he pulls out and falls on his back on the floor

I just lay there, breathing hard

“Baby, can I?”, I hear Hobi asking

Poor Hobi

He hasn’t orgasmed yet

“Yeah Hobi.”, I answer

“Uh, can you…”, he trails off

I sit up on my elbows, looking at him where he’s sitting on the couch

Jesus, his cock is fully erect and he’s leaking

He must be so horny

“Can I what baby?”, I ask

“Can you uh, ride me like you did to Yoongi?”, he asks blushing

“Yeah Hobi. Of course baby”, I answer

When I stand up, cum leaks out, running down my legs

Shit

I look around and grab tissues from the tissue box

I clean up the cum as much as I can, but I think I got most of it

Then I walk to Hobi and sit on him

He’s just looking at me

Fuck he’s gorgeous

Moving some hair from his face, I lean in and kiss him

He kisses me back, sliding his tongue in my mouth

Out of all of them, Hobi is the best kisser

His hands go in my hair, pulling me closer against him

While I kiss him, I reach behind me, putting him right under me

Then I sink slowly down on his cock

Jesus, he feels so good

If I thought Yoongi fit inside well, Hobi is even better

He’s perfect

I start moving on him, sliding up and down his shaft

I get a bigger reaction from him then I did from Yoongi

“Fuck!”, he screams

I keep bouncing just watching him in intense pleasure

He’s moaning, yelling and screaming not caring how he sounds

And I like that

“Yes oh god yes. Baby, you’re so much better than I imagined. So fucking tight on me. So wet. I love your pussy!”, he cries

“Fuck Hobi. I love your cock. You fit in so perfectly. You feel so good”

He just moans

Leaning back, hands on his legs, I slam up and down his shaft

“Yes, god yes”, he yells

His hands grip my hips hard

When I’m coming back down, Hobi slams up

“Hobi!”, I scream, sheer pleasure hitting my entire body

“Joanne! Baby!”, he cries

His thrusts get harder and faster, meeting me as soon as I slam down on him

He’s going so deep everytime, slamming against my spot, making fireworks blast in my vision every fucking time

“I need it baby. Please baby girl. I need you to cum”, he begs

“HOSEOK!”, I pant, trying to breath, right fucking there

“Please Jo. Give me your orgasm baby”

He hits in so hard, making me snap

My vision goes white as pure ecstasy takes over and I cum the hardest I ever have

I just scream, I can’t form words

I feel my body shaking and I feel myself falling back but I can’t move to make myself stop

Hobi’s hands go around my body, keeping me from falling and holding me upright

“JOANNE fuck, yes baby!”, Hobi yells

I feel him cum, it feels so fucking good, making another orgasm wash over me

“Yes good girl, my good girl”, I hear Hobi praise

Collapsing against Hobi, his arms go around me, holding me to him

My head is on his shoulder, his fingers running up and down my back, making me shiver

“Aww baby is sensitive?”, he teases

I nod

He kisses my shoulder, then lays his head on mine

“Holy shit. How did you do that Hobi?”, Jin asks

“Do what?”

“Make her cum like that. Her face, god, she looked like she was in so much pleasure”, Jin answers

I was

I so fucking was

“She almost fell off of you, it was that good”, Namjoon comments

“She was shaking so hard”, Yoongi adds

I feel Hobi shrug, “I don’t know. It just happened”

Yeah right

He’s just that good at sex

I feel Hobi move me, laying me on the couch, then getting up

I’m so fucking exhausted and sleepy

I so don’t want to drive home

I hear the guys moving around but I’m almost asleep

After awhile I hear my name

“Jo”, he says

I force my eyes open, looking into his face

God I love him so much

“Jo, you uh wanna stay over? You’re about to crash. You shouldn’t drive”, he says

“I…uh…”, I mutter

“You can stay in my room with me if you want”, he offers

Yes, I want

“Ok”, I say sleepily

I try to stand up, but my legs hurt and I’m so tired, I wobble

“Come here Jo, I’ll help you”

I feel myself being picked up

Laying my head on his chest, I’m out in two seconds

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

? POV

I carry her to my room

She’s already asleep

Putting her in my bed, I lay down next to her

She rolls over to me, facing me and cuddling into my chest, her arm around me and her legs intertwined with mine

She’s laying on my arm and her head is right under my chin

Fuck me

I love her so much

I don’t know when it happened

I just remember looking at her one day while she was laughing at something Tae said and I wanted to kiss her

Then I started noticing that I wanted to be around her, touch her, hug her

I realized I fell in love

I’ve been too scared to say anything for over a year

I’m just afraid she’s going to reject me

Today was amazing because I got to be with her

Yeah I got jealous that she was with the other guys too but she doesn’t know how I feel and she’s allowed to have fuI just hold her to me while she sleeps, playing with her hair and kissing the top of her head

She just fits in my arms so perfectly

She fits against my body perfectly

I don’t want to let her go

She moves a little, yawning

God she’s fucking beautiful

She snuggles back to me, and I hold her tightly

She kisses my chest

“My Hobi”, she says softly

Did she just?

Did she say my Hobi?

I’m so confused

“Jo?”, I call

“Hmm?”, she answers

“What did you say?”

“Huh?”, she says groggily

“Uh what did you say before?”

“My Hobi”, she answers, quiet again

She called me her Hobi

Hers

I don’t know why that makes me so fucking happy

It doesn’t mean she loves me

But she’s calling me hers

I’ve been hers since I fell for her

I look down at her but she’s asleep, breathing evenly, having no idea that she just shook my world

“I love you so much”, I tell her

I know she doesn’t hear me but this is the only way I can tell her

I’m too scared any other way

“You’re so perfect Jo, my perfect everything. I wish you could be mine. I’m just so in love with you. I wish I could tell you”

“I love you too Hobi”

I freeze

Is she….is she awake?

Shit, shit

She slowly opens her eyes

And I see love in her eyes

What?

“I love you so much too Hobi. You’re my perfect everything too.”, she says, blushing

“You…I…..when….how…huh?”, I stutter

She giggles and it’s the best thing I’ve ever heard

“A long time ago Hobi. The first time I met you, I thought, "This guy is my one” and I fell for you in a second. But as time went on, I figured you didn’t feel that way, so I just hid my feelings"

I gape at her

I’m her one?

Me?

She wants me?

“You don’t have to wish I could be yours Hobi. I have been from the first time I met you”

Oh my god

I’m getting the girl of my dreams

She loves me

Holy shit

“I’m yours Jo, I have been for awhile too. I just want you”

“I just want you Hobi. You’re all I ever wanted”

“You have me. I love you”, I tell her

“I love you.”, she answers

There’s no words for how happy I am

I kiss her lips, my world turning upside down

I love it

She looks at me, worry on her face

“What’s wrong?”, I ask

“Uh about tonight-”

“I don’t care.”

“Wait what?”, she asks

“I don’t care. That was before we were together. All I care about is now, after we’re together. So forget about what happened ok? It doesn’t bother me”

I’m not lying, it doesn’t bother me

She’s mine now and that’s all I care about

Kissing her again, she pulls me on top of her, both of us touching each other everywhere

“I want you Hobi”, she whispers

“I want you Jo. Always”, I answer back, smirking at her, “I’m gonna make you feel so good so much tonight”

“Yeah? Good because I want to scream you’re name all night”, she teases

“Oh baby, you will. You’re going to lose your voice from how much you’re going to scream”

“Promise?”, she asks

“Promise baby”

I kiss down her body, opening her legs, sliding my tongue up her pussy

“Fuck!”, she yells

I’ve been wanting to eat her out so much

I was so jealous when Namjoon got to do it

After I tasted her from my fingers, I wanted her so much

I feel her tremble, while I run my tongue up and down

“Yes Hobi, fuck! I love your tongue”, she yells

Good

Because I love my tongue on her

“Good baby because my tongue is going to be on you all the time”

“Fuck yes Hobi”

Taking her clit in my mouth, I start, sucking, licking and tugging on it

Her hand goes in my hair pulling, while her hips slam her pussy in my mouth

“Fuck baby, keep doing that”, I moan

It’s such a turn on that she’s this into me eating her out

Moving my tongue, I swirl it all around her, licking around her entrance

She starts shaking about to cum

“Scream for me baby”, I ask, then slide my tongue inside her

“HOSEOK!”, she screams so fucking loud

Her pussy tightens on my tongue, her cum coating it, making me moan loudly from how good it is

Again

I need it again

I can’t ever get enough of her taste

I start sliding my tongue in and out, and using my fingers to play with her clit

“Hobi fuck. You’re gonna make me….”

“Good baby. I want it again”

“Then don’t stop”, she whimpers

So I don’t

“Hobi, Hobi, Hobi!”, she screams when she orgasms, giving me what I want

“HOSEOK FUCK!”

When she finishes, I get up, thrusting inside her

“Fuck Hobi!”

“I told you baby, I’m gonna make you scream all night”

“Yes fuck, I want that, fuck!”

“Good girl. Now scream”, I demand as I slam in hard

“HOSEOK!”

I love hearing her

I just smile at her and keep going

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Tae POV

“Where the fuck is he?”, I demand walking into the kitchen

Fucking Hoseok, kept making Joanne scream all night

I couldn’t get any sleep

And I’m furious he’s fucking my best friend

“Uh in his room I guess”, Namjoon yawns

I tear in that direction

I’m gonna tear him a new one

I grab his door knob, opening the door

And I get hit with something I never wanted to see

Hobi is sitting up against his bed

And Joanne….my best friend…is on top of him, moving up and down on him

“I love you Jo”, Hobi says, smiling so big at her

She moves hair from his face, sliding her hand on his cheek and holding it there

“I love you so much Hobi.”, she answers

What the fuck is going on?

He pulls her to him, kissing her

I need to get the fuck out before they notice me

I quietly close the door, walking back to the kitchen

“What happened? Why are you so pale?”, Jungkook asks

“I uh walked in on him and Jo uh together”

“What?”, Yoongi yelps

“I guess he wanted more after yesterday”, Jin comments

“What? What are you talking about?”, I ask

“Oh uh yeah, about last night”, Yoongi trails off

“What?”

“Well uh”, Namjoon starts

“Just tell me”

So he does and I’m so fucking shocked

And angry

“You all had sex with her?”, Jimin shrieks

“You’re so fucking lucky”, Jungkook sighs

“What?”, I yell

“Oh c'mon Tae, you’re best friend is fucking sexy”, Jimin rolls his eyes

“And we’re not blind”, Jungkook says

“So? That doesn’t mean you can fuck her!”, I yell

“You did”, Jimin shoots back

“You did?”, Namjoon asks, surprised

“Once. When we were younger, before I introduced you all to her. But it was nothing. We agreed to never talk about it again and just be friends”

“So you can’t say shit to us”, Jin replies

“But you all basically gang banged her”

“Oh my god no! It wasn’t like that you asshole!”, Yoongi exclaims

“It really wasn’t”, Namjoon agrees

“And Hobi took her to his room, so she has somewhere to stay until this morning. We didn’t know they’d keep having sex”, Jin answers

“It’s not just sex. They fucking love each other”

“Wait what?”, Yoongi asks

“I walked in on them telling each other they love each other”

“Is it for real or just in the moment thing?”, Jimin asks

“I don’t fucking know. It’s not like I asked them to clarify”, I snap

I hear a door open, then footsteps to the bathroom along with laughing

Then the bathroom door closes

“Great they’re going to be there for a long time”, I sigh

“Oh who cares?” Yoongi says, “Let them be happy”

I glare at him

This is so fucked

“I’m hungry. Jin start cooking”, Yoongi demands

“What the fuck?”, Jin answers

“Oh c'mon Jin, just do it. We all like your cooking and you like to cook”, Yoongi whines

“Fine whatever”, he sighs, getting up

I just sit there waiting for them to get out of the bathroom

Half an hour later, the bathroom door opens

Then his door closes

What the fuck?

Again?

Ten minutes later, the door opens again, and I hear them talking as they get closer to the kitchen

“So you’re gonna come with me today?”, Hobi is asking as they walk in the kitchen, holding hands

The fuck?

She’s wearing one of his shirts that goes past her knees

“Yeah Hobi. I’ll come”, she answers, smiling at him

He smiles back and kisses her

Ok I’m done

“Uh what the fuck is going on?”, I yell

They both turn to look at me

“Uh I’m kissing my girlfriend”, Hobi answers

What the hell?

“You’re together?”, Namjoon asks

Hobi nods, “Yeah. I love her and she loves me too.”

She nods

“Why didn’t you tell me you felt like that for him Jo? Or why didn’t you say anything?”, I ask Hobi

“I….uh…”, he trails off

“Are you mad Tae?”, she asks

“Of course I’m mad! Not that you’re together, that doesn’t matter. But I’m mad I had to find out this way instead of either of you telling me. Do you think I wanted to hear you scream his name all night? That’s a shitty way of finding out your best friends are together!”

They’re looking at me, surprised

“And then I had to hear about what happened with all of you from them”, I gesture to Jin, Namjoon and Yoongi.

“I’m sorry Tae. It just happened last night. I’m sorry you had to hear us”, she apologizes

I sigh

“Ok, just don’t hide shit from me ok?”

“Ok Tae. I promise”, she answers

“Ok well I made you guys some food”, Jin breaks the silence, “We all ate while you guys were in the bathroom. I saved some from these savages

“Hey!”, Jungkook yelps

“Oh shut up. You guys are animals when it comes to food”

“Thanks Jinnie”, she says, pulling Hobi with her

Hobi sits down, pulling her on his lap

She giggles, then looks at him

He’s already looking at her

You can actually see how much they love each other

It’s like they’re in their own world

“I love you”, he whispers to her

“I love you”, she whispers back, leaning to him, kissing him

“Ok seriously? When I’m eating?”, Yoongi complains

“Oh shut up. They’re cute”, Jimin gushes

“Here eat”, Jin says, giving them food

They feed each other while they eat

They really are cute together

I’m gonna puke

“So uh, I asked Jo to come with us to record and practice. Is that ok?”, Hobi asks

“Yeah of course Hobi. You don’t have to ask that”, Namjoon answers

Hobi nods

“We have to leave soon so we should get ready”, Jungkook answers

We all get up from the table

I watch Hobi put his arm around her as they walk to his room

She puts her arm around him too, smiling up at him

I know I found out about them in a shitty way but I really am happy for them

They love each other so much, it’s beautiful to see

“I love you”, I hear him say to her again

“I love you Hobi”, she answers

They walk into his room, the door closing

Yeah they’re not coming out for awhile

I shrug then make my way to my room to pass the time until they’re ready to go

[suzukiblu]

Another excerpt from the next chapter of "think pink", aka "Kon meets pink kryptonite and decides to fuck Tim and his boyfriend about it".

"Are you sure about this, Kon?" Tim asks evenly. 

"As sure as I am that you two should come the fuck down here and let me get my hands on you already," Kon replies in a purr, grinning at them both again as he tips his sunglasses back into his hair. "I mean, I can reach you with my TTK, but that never feels quite as . . . personal, you know?" 

They can always talk later, really. 

"Fuck," Tim says, very carefully and very clearly. Then he stalks down the stairs like he's in a cape and Bernard shuts the door and re-rigs the security system and follows after him, and Kon doesn't even get the chance to lean forward before Tim's grabbing his hips and yanking him there. 

Kon is perfectly happy to go. 

"Safeword first, if you have one," Tim says. "Or we can just use traffic lights. Red means stop, yellow means proceed with caution, green means go. Is there anything we definitely shouldn't do or say?" 

Kon leans down and kisses him. 

Like, the other stuff is important and he'll get to it in a second–but getting to kiss Tim of all people is way more important than anything else. 

Tim clearly agrees, since he kisses back. Kon winds his arms around his neck and resists the urge to completely envelope him in his TTK, since that's probably one of those boundary things that they're gonna need to discuss. 

Kon's never actually kissed another guy before, but it doesn't feel as weird as he might've expected it to and frankly he's already finding himself to be pretty impressed with Tim as a first contender. Like, Tim is apparently very good at kissing. He is careful and he is thorough and he is fucking dedicated to the fucking process. He knows exactly how to move his lips and exactly how much to use his tongue and exactly when to bring in his teeth and exactly how to make Kon's entire useless excuse for a brain melt out his goddamn ears with just the tiniest little well-timed nip to his lower lip. It's seriously all Kon can do just to keep up with the bastard. 

Nice, he thinks with a great deal of slightly dizzying feeling, digging his fingers in against Tim's back as they press their bodies closer together and try to eat each other alive. 

Very nice. 

"Okay, wow," Bernard says, watching them intently and sounding a bit impressed himself. "So you two have done this before? Tim, babe, I am hurt that you never previously mentioned making time with Super-boytoy and I demand all the dirty details." 

"We haven't," Tim rasps, pulling back just enough to speak and staring at Kon's mouth as he does. Kon has a weirdly hard time trying to look away from his eyes, so doesn't actually bother to try all that hard to. "Done this before, I mean." 

"Well I very definitely can't tell," Bernard says. "Like, holy shit, you guys." 

Kon is vaguely aware that it's talking time right now, but he just really wants to kiss Tim some more, so he leans forward just a little bit and–

"Tell me your safeword," Tim orders lowly, tightening his grip on Kon's hips. 

"Thirteen," Kon replies reflexively, because he can't ignore that tone of voice from Robin. He doesn't usually do all that much stuff that requires a safeword but, well . . . yeah. Sometimes he does, so he has one. 

Honestly he'd do that kind of stuff a lot more, probably, just . . . 

He just doesn't like doing it with people he doesn't know very well, he guesses. Although that's obviously not gonna be a problem right now. 

There are very, very few people that Kon knows as well as he knows Tim. 

"If you can't speak for some reason but you need to safeword, just tap one of us three times," Tim says. "Got it?" 

"Yeah," Kon says. "What's, uh, your word?" 

"We use 'clique'," Tim says. "Or traffic lights, whichever. And the taps, if we're nonverbal." 

"Okay," Kon says with a careful nod as he files the information away and represses the urge to either lick his lips or just kiss Tim again after all. "Hard no's?" 

"No serious injuries," Tim says. "No humiliation or degradation, no scat or watersports." 

"No choking," Bernard puts in. "And no age play or blindfolds." 

"What about you?" Tim asks while Kon's still processing how quick and matter-of-fact they both just answered that and how weirdly fucking hot it was. Just . . . really weirdly hot, yeah. 

"No, uh . . . no medical shit," he says carefully, not quite flexing his fingers against Tim's back. "Nothing like a lab. Not gonna call anyone any variant of 'Daddy', and don't call me 'kid' or 'pup'." 

"Okay," Tim agrees. "Anything you especially like or want to do?" 

"I dunno," Kon says, then attempts to say "just tell me when I'm doing okay at something" but can't even slightly get the words out. That . . . well. Maybe later he can say that, he thinks to himself. Just–eventually, maybe. "I'm not that fancy, I just want us all to get off and have a good time." 

"Is oral on the table?" Tim asks. 

"Sure?" Kon replies with a shrug. "Although I haven't actually gone down on anyone with a cock before, I don't really know how good at it I'll be. So like . . . yeah, might need a couple tips there when it's my turn." 

"Oh shit, you're like half a virgin, aren't you," Bernard says like it's a realization, and Kon blinks at him in bemusement. 

"Uh, no?" he says, more than a little confused by where the guy got that idea from. "Definitely not a virgin, man, I popped my cherry the first chance I got." 

"No, like–sorry, I just meant you've never sucked cock and you've probably never bottomed before," Bernard clarifies, waving a hand between them. "Although maybe I'm making some assumptions about the kind of girls you've known or what you do in the privacy of your own bedroom, so have you?" 

"Oh, that," Kon realizes himself. "Yeah, no, never gotten pegged or anything like that. Or used any toys that way by myself either." 

"Ngh," Tim says. 

"I now very, very desperately want to change that fact," Bernard says. "Or to watch Tim change that fact. Or both of those things, either subsequently or simultaneously." 

"Would that be okay, Kon?" Tim asks carefully. Kon . . . pauses, and just sort of . . . processes that idea, a bit. Somehow the idea of getting fucked that way hadn't really occurred to him as an option that might be on the table here, even with the way the conversation was just going and also the fact that it should've been an obvious possibility anyway, considering. 

Well, he is kind of stupid sometimes. 

"Uh," Kon says, feeling weirdly hot under the collar as he tries to picture Tim getting up between his thighs like that and not sure if his immediate internal reaction is just him being a fucking horndog and a half or something to blame on the existence of pink kryptonite. "Actually, uh. Yeah. Yes. Please?" 

"Ngh," Tim says, and immediately surges in and yanks him down into another kiss. Kon has absolutely no problems with this turn of events and no desire to do anything but kiss him back. 

"Your fucking suit is too fucking tight," Bernard mutters with absolutely no trace of a complaint in his voice. Kon thinks irrationally of that fond tone the guy had used with Tim before and really wants to hear it again. "I think if we actually get you hard enough to play with your presumably invulnerable dick is gonna tear right through it." 

"That has almost never happened," Kon manages breathlessly, and Tim groans into his mouth.

[accursedkaleeshi]

RIP General Grievous, you would have loved Order 66 lol

No, but for real. “Grievous survives” fic writers, you’re awesome.

Don't deny that he has committed atrocities upon the galaxy that will take generations to even begin to heal & in numbers unheard of in recent history. Grievous did not care. His job was to inconvenience the Republic for as long as possible & to kill Jedi. And holy shit did he ever. Maybe he considered himself already dead & this dumbass war was just a really fucked up bonus level. (& brother, I’m zerg rushing it)

Grievous was operating on the bastardized values of his people kept together by rage & steel, stuck in Sith 1 & Sith 2’s fucked up mind games. He hated the Separatists. Unfortunately for the rest of the galaxy, he hated the Republic more. Maybe he oscillates wildly between the thrill of battle & befuddled emptiness, making him a contrary bitch that no one bothers trying to deal with.

But lord help Palpatine if General Grievous ever figured out that he & Sidious were one & the same. The sheer amount of indignant rage would be like a lens of clarity he hadn’t managed since becoming a cyborg. This?? Single human man? Broke apart the galaxy so he could be the one to fix it? The known universe will remember me only in cold blooded fear. I was stripped of my culture, my agency, my FLESH so that this LITTLE OLD COLONY WIZARD can sit in his big boy chair???

Mr. Psycho Martyr? His petty ass would tell everybody. He would make his superiors’ lives a living hell. If they didn’t immediately push the Cyborg Emergency Kill Button (canon), how do you stop this pissed off war machine that YOU made to be unstoppable & YOU taught how to use unstoppable laser swords? As far as the Separatist resources, he knows nearly EVERYTHING. You can’t send shit after him that he doesn’t already know how to take apart, rewire, counter, & give back to you with a rude note on it.

And goddamn, if you thought Kalee hated the Republic? Just wait until it becomes the Empire & stops even trying to hide being tyrannical (hehe tyrannous). Grievous spent his entire life fighting oppression much more advanced than him & fucking winning. That’s why his resume was at the top of Palpatine’s murder machine CV pile. This bitch excels at adaptive guerilla warfare & he will use every last wheezing breath to fuck up your shit. Even if he has to work with Jedi to do it.

In conclusion, an enlightened General Grievous would gladly die for a chance to punch Palpatine in the face & this is why he would be an immense asset to the rebel alliance. He’d be an insufferable asshole but that is the cost you pay for him having to be right all the time.

[turtlecleric]

@thejudiciousneurotic FOR YOU BBY

---

"So," he starts, clapping his hands together. It jolts you out of the dreamy daze you'd been in after seeing him in those sweatpants, and the knowing smile on his face has you blushing.

This fucker. He knows exactly what those sweatpants do to you.

You clear your throat and pointedly keep your eyes on his face. His face. His face, not his fucking - get it together! Jesus. Anyway. "So?"

"I've been brainstorming what we talked about," he says, as if you can possibly focus on words at a time like this.

You blink. Blink again. Try to think past the fog in your brain. "...Which is?"

"Exploring new territory! I looked into some things, and I think I found a good starting po- eyes up here, darling, come on."

Fuck. That's embarrassing. He's right though, you really need to stop staring. You're pretty sure your face is the shade of a tomato at this point.

"Sorry, Donnie, I uh." Eyes. Up. "I'm listening. New territory. Uh huh. So we're going hiking or...?"

His eyes widen, then he bursts into a fit of laughter that has your whole body flashing hot. It's not your fault the sight of those pants hanging off his hips does things to you! But then he straightens, reaching out to grab your chin and hold your face up so you're forced to keep your eyes locked on his own.

Damn it.

"Metaphorical territory." His amusement shifts into something darker, and you feel the air itself get heavy. "In the bedroom."

Oh. Oh. Right. You'd mentioned yesterday... and then he'd asked... oh.

You feel like you're breathing harder all of a sudden.

"Whuh-" You clear your throat again. "What did you have in mind?"

You see his eyes flick down to your lips and back up again. His hand moves from holding your chin to resting lightly on your throat. He lets out a short hum, stepping closer to crowd into your space and holy shit. Okay. That's... yep. You have to tilt your head back a little to hold his gaze, and you feel him tighten his grip on your throat slightly as you do so. You swallow thickly, and his smile goes a little lopsided before he opens his mouth again. "How do you feel about bondage?"

You're pretty sure your brain just... stopped. Short circuited. Fell out of your skull, maybe. Because you can't seem to make yourself speak. Not with him towering over you and holding you in place like this. Not after he said that while looking at you like that.

You manage to nod frantically.

His eyes flick down again. His grip on your neck tightens once more, just enough to have you gasp, and his smile finishes its transformation into a full-blown smirk.

"Let's get started then, shall we?"

This smug bastard. Goddamn it.

You can't wait.

[tamamatango]

“Holy shit they actually froggin did it”: A Keroro Gunso anime revival preliminary info and speculation post (late as hell edition)

Okay first of all,

AWAKEN

That’s right, vanished-into-the-void bastard Kirb here, I am an alive person still, though I’m certain a lot of stuff on this blog is horrifically outdated. Don’t get too used to my presence, I’m a whole ass adult with a 9-to-5 now and don’t really have the energy to put into consistently maintaining this account, at least not to the degree that I used to (took me well over a whole ass MONTH just to write this post). However, I’ve returned for a special occasion, as basically anyone still in this fandom is already aware considering it’s been forever now:

We are so fucking back

It took thirteen years and counting, but here we are, a brand new Keroro anime project is in the works—no “the short anime of all time” Flash series here, this is the real deal, straight out of 2004–2011, and goddamn is it beautiful. I might’ve been off the mark when I called it for the 15th anniversary, but it’s now the 20th, five years later, and the madmen did what was once thought impossible by many.

So let’s break down what the hell is actually going on here, because when this got revealed last month, Keroro fans on all sides of the globe basically started collectively running around like headless chickens. I’m gonna divide this aggregation post into the following sections:

Where did this even come from

Clearing up misconceptions

Okay so like what is “““Project”””

Collection of statements from official accounts, staff and cast, etc.

The Localization Question (TM)

Miscellaneous thoughts that don’t really fit anywhere else

I was originally going to make this a living document of sorts but some small stuff has already happened since I started drafting this the day after the reveal happened, so this should be it for the time being. It’s a hefty enough post as is. I am just a master procrastinator :V

That takes care of all the goofy intro nonsense, now for the parts you actually want to read, starting underneath the cut!

Section 1: The Signs Were There

As previously stated, 2024 is the 20th anniversary of the Keroro anime, along with the 25th anniversary of the manga’s serialization but apprently even they don’t care about that since they’ve made no fanfare around it whatsoever, unlike the joint 15th & 20th anniversary back in 2019. Maybe they will as we get closer to the manga anniversary in November, but for now-obvious reasons the anime has been overshadowing the manga side by a lot.

If you’ve been monitoring the Keroro PR account on Twitter (you bet your ass I’m still calling it that) you’ll have noticed an increasing output of Stuff over the last year or two, even compared to the prior anniversary. These include but are not limited to:

In 2021, the series opened an official YouTube Channel, where they’ve been doing reruns of the anime (region locked to Japan), PR podcasts, etc. It’s also where the revival announcement premiered on April 1 at midnight JST.

In 2023, the series opened an official Fan Club with a paid membership. Originally it was a temporary project meant to last for only the two anniversary years (2023 for the pilot oneshot’s anniversary, and 2024 for the anime/manga), but was ultimately extended indefinitely due to “good reception” (my guess is it was always planned to be more than two years but they didn’t want to make it too easy to guess as early as last year that the anime was returning lol). They have a merch store, giveaways, and some kind of social component. I don’t know much about it otherwise because it’s a paid membership that I don’t have access to.

The series has had an overall increase in merchandise and collabs since 2022 or so. This has pretty much always been the case, but there was a bit of a lull between the Flash series ending and the ramp-up period to this (I’d start at 2021 when the YouTube channel opened). Save for the 15th/20th stuff in 2019, for which the major project was Keroro UC, a spinoff manga/plamo line that just…never released all the models and has never been brought up again. Guess it didn’t do very well :V

A number of international releases/rereleases happened as well, but I’ll get into that a little bit more in its dedicated section. For now let’s just say that the anime being finally licensed and put up on streaming in North America may indicate the new series will be English translated in some capacity. It’s also made a resurgence in Korea, its biggest market outside Japan, where it’s had new exhibitions and collab cafes, a redub (that only got through 2 seasons I think), and even a new mobile game.

And finally, a week or so before the announcement, a new Twitter account was created specifically for the anime side of the brand. I think this was really the big tip-off, as Keroro PR has been the hub for all things related to the franchise for the last nearly 15 years, even when the original anime itself was still running during Twitter’s infancy. Keroro PR has posted everything for every other anime anniversary. The fact that now all of a sudden they had to sector off the anime stuff into its own account made it clear something bigger was going on. (Accordingly, the Keroro Anime account has labeled Keroro PR the “original work” account, AKA the manga side of things.)

Essentially I think they’ve been planning this to some degree since as long ago as 2021, the first time the president of Bandai Namco Pictures (animation studio comprised of Sunrise staff that took over the Keroro IP in 2015 and are now producing the new anime) openly acknowledged the possibility. I’ll just link my own tweet with the translation of his statement here. This was right around the opening of the YouTube channel, so I don’t think it’s a coincidence.

tl;dr Momentum for the anime component of the franchise has been building for the past couple of years pointing toward a new anime around the 20th anniversary, so I wouldn’t say this comes off as a huge surprise, though I was expecting something smaller scale than what we might be getting (more on that in the “what is this” section).

Section 2: No It’s Not April Fools, Guys, Plus Other Clarifications

With the announcement spreading across the internet, I’ve seen a few points of confusion going around that I’d like to clear up before I go any further.

As I’ve made clear in the section title, yes the new anime was revealed on April 1, no this is not a prank. A lot of Japanese companies do post April Fools pranks, but keep in mind April also marks the start of the new fiscal year in Japan, so many legitimate announcements are made as well. Plus, the original anime’s exact anniversary was on April 3, just a couple of days after the announcement.

I’ve seen a lot of people call this a new series, season, etc., but officially, the only term used to describe this so far is “new anime project”. That could mean literally anything, from TV series to movie to ONA and so on. I am leaning closer to a certain interpretation, which is what the entire next section is for, but for the time being, calling it anything other than “new anime” is technically not concrete info.

There seems to be a little bit of confusion on what studio is working on this, but in short: it's Bandai Namco Pictures (BN Pictures or BNP for short). As previously mentioned, this is the studio that inherited the Keroro IP when it spun off from Sunrise in 2015. Sunrise, the anime's original studio, is now a brand name for the larger anime management company Bandai Namco Filmworks. Although they've held the IP for almost a decade, this is the first time they've really gotten to do anything with it besides merchandise licensing and some anti-piracy commercial from a few years ago that they’ve ironically scrubbed from the internet now. If you've seen the name Studio BIND (Mushoku Tensei, Onimai) floating around, they're assisting with the production but are not the primary animation studio. Of course this is all assuming this setup continues on to the final project and not just for the PV, but I see no reason to assume otherwise at the moment. It would be rather unusual for BNP to outsource anything if it was solely for a 30 second trailer.

I think that does it for the main points of contention I wanted to address for now, so moving on to the thing we all really want to know…

Section 3: Okay But What Is It Actually???

Well, as I said in the previous section—we don't know, lol. At least not officially. But if we put our thinking caps on, we can make a few deductions:

The anime project will be broadcast on TV. In other words, it won't be an ONA (original net animation). This is determined based on the fact that TV Tokyo, the network the original anime aired on, is on the production committee. For those who don't know, a production committee for an anime is the collection of parties/companies who contribute to the production and funding of the anime. For comparison, the Keroro Flash Series, which aired only on the TV channel Animax to accompany a dedicated timeslot for the original anime reruns, did not have TV Tokyo in its committee. So, it will likely air on TV Tokyo once again.

It's (probably) not a movie. This is going to be more evidenced by point 3 than anything, but BNP has been pretty clear about when something is a movie specifically in the past, such as when Kaiketsu Zorori had various feature films in the 2010s before getting an actual TV anime revival in 2020. Still, we can't be 100% sure until someone directly says otherwise.

It's going to be more than a one-off. I will post the statement in full in the next section, but the Keroro PR account uses specific wording (“resumption,” “new start,” etc.) that sounds very much like they’re making a longer term commitment, so this is straight from the horse’s mouth, essentially.

The series will be a continuation of the 2004-2011 series rather than a reboot. This one’s probably my flimsiest prediction as the PR statements sort of obfuscate whether it’s one or the other, but the character bios section on the new anime portal site gives away a big hint: the Garuru Platoon, Pururu included, is there. This means that we can reason that, at minimum, all or part of Season 3 has already occurred. The character bios themselves also summarize things that weren’t revealed until a little while into the show, such as how Momoka and Tamama met. That all said, the Garuru Platoon members do not have bios, so I suppose they want to keep what’s being done with them a bit of a secret; perhaps they intend to reintroduce them with some kind of dramatic arc again. Either way, if the series does retread/retell some old material, it probably won’t be the bulk of the story. This makes sense to me, as it’s not like the show has been so hard to find in the last decade that a reboot is necessary to get a modern audience on board—it reruns constantly on kids’ TV channels like the Japanese version of Cartoon Network, is available in full on multiple streaming platforms (movies included), and is now on its second rebroadcast of the whole series episode by episode on the YouTube Channel. Unless you’re a literal toddler, if you’re interested in the series, you’ve probably watched at least some of it already.

In conclusion, based on the above (admittedly sparse) evidence, I am inclined to believe the new anime project is a TV series that will air on TV Tokyo as the 2004 anime did and will be a continuation rather than a reboot; however, there is no way to determine episode length, episode count, etc. at this time. It could be a cour (for those who don't know anime, "cour" is your average 12-episode season), it could be consecutive cours, it could be split cour (in other words, goes on break for a season before returning), it could even be a year-round anime if they really wanna go all the way with it. Granted, I hesitate to believe that they would do the latter simply due to the nature of anime production these days, and as far as I know, BNP has not done a single year-round airing since its founding. Even the aforementioned Kaiketsu Zorori revival was a two cour (24-25 eps) series each year from 2020-2022. My guess is we're looking at something similar here, but Keroro is a pretty big deal, so could they make an exception? Maybe, but this setup would already lead to more episodes than the vast majority of anime these days, so it would still be plenty enough to be happy with.

Considering all this and the list of numerous hints that we were potentially getting a new anime as far back as three years ago as bulleted in Section 1, you might question what made me doubt that it could be a series in the first place. Well, besides just the series being so old and it being so long since the anime ended that it felt a little like wishful thinking, at least three members of the cast said that a new series was not something they were specifically looking to do...I think, anyway. Let me explain.

Last year, on December 9, a Keroro birthday event with Kumiko Watanabe (Keroro), Etsuko Kozakura (Tamama), and Takeshi Kusao (Dororo) was hosted in person and livestreamed on TwitCast for fans that paid for a ticket. There were two timeslots for the in person event, and only the evening show was streamed, with the afternoon one being in person only. Now that I have adult money, and being the impulse driven gremlin that I am, I paid for the virtual ticket. Most of it was just cute little segments like the three cast members doing live commentary on some of the birthday episodes, discussing the results of a “favorite lines from their characters” poll hosted on Twitter a few weeks before the event, and a brief visit from Jashin-chan of Jashin-chan Dropkick/Dropkick on My Devil, a series that Keroro recently collabed with for a series of merchandise. Unfortunately the event wasn't archived publicly and they specifically asked to not upload materials to social media, and I'd like to respect that request mostly out of consideration for the cast, so you will just have to take my word for it :P (besides those who were watching me talk about it in real time on discord).

The reason I'm going on this tangent is because, at the end of the stream, a special prerecorded video featuring the three cast members was shown exclusively for virtual attendees. In it they essentially explained that they still greatly enjoy the characters/series and would love to partake in more events and projects, but "not necessarily a new series." I promise you I listened to this clip over and over the entire time it was available and that's what I heard. Now look, the room they recorded this in was echo-y, and my Japanese is pretty decent (enough for my N2 anyways, yeah I did that while I was away from here clap clap) but listening comprehension is my weaker area, so maybe I just take a massive L here. When I started writing this post there was a sentence here guessing about whether they were just being cheeky or didn’t know yet, but an interview came out last month that gave what’s all but a conclusive answer to that. More on it in the next section but tl;dr, they likely did not know it was happening at all. Well, at least they got to be as surprised as we were :V

Anyways now that the thing has been revealed none of the last two paragraphs even matter, so I just prattled on for no reason besides to admit my own shame. Next bit.

Section 4: SAUCE PLOX??? (Current testimonies from relevant people/entities)

Naturally, when the trailer dropped, we got a pretty decent handful of comments from whatever staff and cast are on social media. Most of these are just people going “yay we’re back hooray!” (paraphrased) but the Keroro PR account statements are actually kinda sorta hints? So I’ll start out with those. There’s two tweets that I want to highlight here:

First is from April 1 (JST), the day of the reveal. In this tweet the account wishes everyone well for the new school/fiscal year, but the important part is the last sentence, This can be translated any number of ways (thanks to yoroshiku onegaishimasu and its 50 potential meanings, every Japanese translator’s worst nightmare), but essentially it’s something along the lines of “we hope you’ll support the restart/resumption of the Keroro anime for a long time to come.”

The keywords here are obvious: 再始動 (saishidou) meaning either restart or resumption. I know you’re probably thinking those are two very different things, but the nuance here is that it’s more of a restart in production than restart of the continuity. For the latter, I think it’s more common to see リメイク, which is just the English word “remake” in katakana. Worth noting that the Flash anime used none of these words in its marketing, but it did use language such as “brand new invasion plan,” “rebirth of Keroro,” and so on…in addition to, you know, having a completely different artstyle and a title change to just “Keroro”, which this clearly does not (the artstyle is relatively faithful to the old one and the project is under the original Keroro Gunso name).

The other big word is 末永く(suenagaku), which…also doesn’t have one exact translation, but implies somewhere between years or even an indefinite period of time. I didn’t want to say a specific unit of time in my translation of the statement because well, we can’t really be sure of anything here, but either way, they’re signaling that they’re most likely in it for the long haul.

Then there’s the tweet from the PR account commemorating the actual anniversary of the original anime (April 3). This one uses 新しいスタート, “new start”—no real multiple definition shenanigans here, this is about as literal and straightforward as you can get. In terms of the reboot or not question, this could lean either way, but it definitely adds to theory that it is a series of some sort.

Okay, that’s all for the individual tweets I’m gonna totally overanalyze, otherwise I’d be stuck here for even longer than I already have been. Here’s a quick list of involved staff who tweeted about the reveal:

Unsurprisingly, Kumiko Watanabe (Keroro) posted that day, reiterating that it is real and saying “believe usssss!” (As a reminder, half the internet was convinced it was April Fools for like a whole week)

Adding to the cast comments, Etsuko Kozakura (Tamama) says, “Whoo-hoo! Can’t wait for more news! Keroro Gunso is still the greatest!!”

Jouji Nakata (Giroro) didn’t make a specific comment about the trailer, but has been retweeting the other official accounts and such and replying about it, so he has acknowledged it otherwise. As a substitute, here’s a picture of him visiting the Keroro Exhbition in Ikebukuro a day early.

Here’s an interesting one—Haruna Ikezawa (Momoka) said about the trailer, “Really?! Is this real?!?!?!” While no cast members outside of the Keroro Platoon were officially revealed to be reprising their roles, I’m assuming they’re going to try their best to reassemble as much of the cast as of season 7 as possible—besides Keiji Fujiwara (Paul/Narrator), who sadly passed away in 2020—so I kind of figured Ikezawa would know about this, but maybe not…? Well, considering that the main five were completely blindsided by this to the point where they weren’t even sure this was a real thing until they were in the middle of recording it (as I said previously, more on that later), I suppose the other cast members were just. Not told. I don’t really doubt Ikezawa would return (she even stated it could happen someday all the way back when the then-final season ended in 2011 and did come back for Flash)…but unless they were like really worried about leaks why even keep them in the dark to learn with the rest of the public, idk man :V (so much for not overanalyzing tweets huh)

On to production staff now, here’s the tweet from Satoshi Koike, animation director of the latter third of the original and also the reveal trailer, indicating that he’s most likely back for the new project. It’s just a simple “Welcome back! (de arimasu)” but the images he used were drawn back in 2019 to commemorate the start of the Reiwa era, spoofing the original lyrics of the first opening. The reveal trailer tweet itself from the Keroro Anime account does this too (“Starting today, the Reiwa era shall be known as the Keroro era!”).

New to the staff is Jouji Furuta (yes we have two Joujis now har har), who did the storyboards and direction for the trailer. He’s relatively new to the scene as a whole, with his most well known project being Shaman King Flowers. Although he never worked on the series before, he did a pretty good job emulating the original, and based on the last line of the tweet, it seems like he will be staying on for the full project as well.

And now for a kind of weird section where I talk about the few related accounts that the Keroro anime twitter is following but haven’t made any kind of verbal acknowledgement yet.

First and foremost is Mine Yoshizaki—you know, the guy who created the fucking series, whose name is on the copyright string and whose explicit permission they had to get to do another anime in the first place? Yeah so it’s been over a month since the reveal now and there has been zero acknowledgement from him. I do know his personal social media account has been inactive for quite a few years now (I feel like the anime account is only even following it for symbolic reasons), but he had multiple other opportunities to say something at this point. He did contribute some signed artwork to the anime-focused exhibition that just ended but nowhere in it does he directly mention the new adaptation, and so far he hasn’t commented on it in Shonen Ace (maybe in the next volume, assuming that’s soonish). I have my theories about his relationship to the anime, especially now that the Kemono Friends fiasco has occurred, but that’s all a story for another day or never. I’m sure he’ll contribute something later, but even so it’s just really bizarre to have nothing to say about your biggest creation’s first new adaptation in over a decade. Oh well.

Character designer Fumitoshi Oizaki, who has been around since the beginning if I remember correctly, has been retweeting things, but no official comment just yet. (He discretely left a message at the expo apparently, but didn’t post it online, so no idea if it mentions the new anime.) He isn’t credited on the trailer, but considering he’s still been pretty involved with the franchise’s promotion over the last few years, I would be very surprised if he wasn’t returning.

Last but certainly not least is Junichi Sato, the chief director for the original anime for the first two seasons, arguably its most well-known and critically praised era. He’s also a very notable director in his own right, having headed other famous series like early Sailor Moon and Ojamajo Doremi. Sato didn’t direct the original anime for the majority of its runtime (though he did direct the first four movies), but he still directs and storyboards on projects to this day, including for other franchises’ major anniversaries (namely Doremi and Precure). Though not certain, I think it’s very possible that he returns for this in some capacity, if not as director than perhaps for storyboarding or general advising.

To close out the testimony section, I’m going to share here the translation I did of the aforementioned interview with Kumiko Watanabe in last month’s issue of Newtype (anime-centric magazine published by Kadokawa). I won’t re-summarize it here since it’s not particularly long, but the main takeaways from this in terms of hints as to what we can expect are that a) the cast was surprised by this and potentially didn’t even know back in December when they last discussed the possibility of working on Keroro again, and b) as I previously speculated, this is going to be a long term enough project that at least Watanabe feels the need to physically prepare for it lol. And thankfully, it seems they’re all excited to go back to the series. I spent a long time thinking they might not be up to it again since it’s been so long and they’re much later in their lives/careers (Nakata just turned 70 oh man) but I’m glad I was wrong! Though I don’t expect this to be another 300 episode commitment anyway; in spite of the PR comments I don’t think we’re going for that long with the nature of anime production these days lmao.

And now for a topic which I think many of you are concerned about…

Section 5: “But what if my 日本語 is not 上手???” (The Localization Question)

If you did not get the joke in the above headline without looking it up, it’s probably safe to assume that if you want to watch this Thing, you will need it in a language other than Japanese (and even if you did get the joke you will know if you are truly 日本語上手 when people stop saying 日本語上手 to you). I’m going to focus on English for this post since that’s the primary language of the audience here, though I would be very shocked if there isn’t at minimum a Korean translation—dub more likely than sub imo, since the most famous version of the show there had different names for the characters and was changed to be set in Korea, and the series is HUGE there to the point where it almost rivals the Japanese market.

So, English. Well, if it were a few years ago (say, if this came during the 15th anniversary like I was originally coping over), I would be markedly less optimistic about getting any official translation at all. At that time, the dub was explicitly dead and the only English sub had been delisted for a few years, and even that was only available in a select few countries in Continental Europe on a pretty obscure streaming service called Viewster for like a year or two before getting pulled. It’s no surprise that this particular sub eventually became more well known as the subs on the torrents compiled by ColdFusion (whoever that was, I’m still not sure myself). That was until…

…the magical year of 2021, when our heroes at Discotek licensed the ENTIRE SERIES (minus the movies) for an official English release using Viewster’s existing translations! That’s right, we got all of it. And not only that, the whole series was also added to Crunchyroll, though only the sub; Discotek had the Funimation dub but it seems it did not get ported to Crunchyroll when the merger happened this year. It does seem that Crunchy has still not made the series available outside of the US and Canada, which is a shame, but man is it still surreal to have the entire series legally available both digitally and physically after nearly two decades of scattered fansubs and hardly accessible official releases. Surely this was a huge win for Discotek, right?

Weeeeeell…no. Of course they weren’t able to say it out loud, but it’s been extremely heavily implied that unfortunately the BluRay/DVD releases flopped for them, and they did say they definitely won’t be getting the movies or the Flash series. They also stopped releasing the discs on a one season a year basis and started bundling them together, with seasons 5–7 coming out all at once later this year, so they’re clearly trying to just get it off their plates. To be honest, this was pretty predictable because…it’s been on Crunchyroll since before the discs even came out. Look, physical media is super cool and all, but who in this economy is going to pay $40-60 per box for a handful of seasons at most when they can get the whole damn thing on their phone for like $8 a month. Crunchyroll isn’t necessarily a disc killer; their release of Digimon Adventure, for example, still seemingly did well despite that series being available on Crunchyroll two years prior, but in addition to Digimon being more popular in the west, it’s one $60 purchase for the whole series versus having to spend like over $200 for 358 episodes. I applaud them for rolling the dice and trying to get this behemoth of a release out there, but I’m not surprised about the lack of financial returns.

However, since Crunchyroll now has set a precedent of having the original series available on their platform, we just might get the new series available on there as well—if not as a simulsub, then at least dropped in batches later on. I’m not 100% confident in this, particularly because technically Discotek still holds the license, but my guess based on the way they’ve talked about the series is that they’re pretty open to someone else taking it off their hands when they’re done releasing the original series (and the translations weren’t originally theirs to begin with anyways, they purchased them and did some touch-ups to the existing translation with added typesetting). As far as simulsubs go, the kids’ shows that get simulsubbed tend to be from Toei, with whom Crunchyroll has a known partnership. But if it is split into cours rather than being a year-round anime, I think the chances of a simulsub go up. Whatever the case may be, it’s for sure in a better position to get an official subtitled release than it ever was before. I’m certainly praying this happens because I believe most of the people capable of fansubbing (with good translation anyway) have gradually moved away from the fandom over the last decade for various reasons—myself included, though mostly I just quit fansubbing/scanlation in general for Personal Reasons(TM). Fingers crossed, everyone.

So subs remain as a not-guaranteed-but- definitely-not-low possibility. But what about a dub? If you recall, Keroro has had a very rocky history in 3D with English dubs, with the American dub being in licensing hell for years before finally falling into Funimation’s lap and subsequently failing to take off despite remaining a beloved cult classic to Some Fans (I am not as high on it, but longtime Kirb followers probably know that by now), and the only other English dub is relegated to the network Animax in Hong Kong + Southeast Asia with no official home release, leaving all of it besides parts of seasons 3 and 4 as lost media (and the voice acting sucked ass but at least the script was accurate). But we’re not in the mid 2000s to early 2010s anymore; this is the screamin’ ’20s, baby! So much anime is getting dubbed now, sometimes at almost the same time as the Japanese release! There must be a chance, right?!

Eeeehhhhhh I wouldn’t bet on it. Even the Toei kids’ shows Crunchyroll started simulsubbing usually don’t get dubs (Digimon is an exception, and the reboot’s dub took YEARS to come out). Anime dubs, as far as I’m aware, are not cheap to produce (though it’d be great if more of what the companies are pocketing went to the actors’ wages >_>), and if the show does have the potential to become somewhat of a long runner, I think they’ll need to see more interest around the IP to fund one, and both Funimation and now Discotek’s releases have proved that the audience for it isn’t always there. I also speculate they’d be doing a lot of recasting; the casting process is not as smooth and (I believe) more expensive than it is in Japan, and a lot of the original cast are not working as often in the field anymore and/or have been involved with some pretty serious controversies—I’m sure those in the know are thinking of a specific drawn-out conflict but I’m pretty sure it’s more than just About Him at this point. So let’s just say that while some of the cast still remembers the show fondly, I think trying to get them all in the same project again would potentially open some cans of worms better off left closed. It’s not 100% impossible it gets dubbed, you never know what the industry can manage to make work these days, but I’d wager it’s like 90% not happening. Just a hunch. If anyone more knowledgable than me on anime localization (this goes for both the dub and sub stuff) would like to argue me with better explanations than I have I’d very much be glad to hear it.

Section 6: The Stuff That Doesn’t Fit Elsewhere + Final Thoughts

There’s not going to be any real organization to this section. Here’s just some bullets of miscellaneous stream of consciousness thoughts related to whatever:

The character bios page on the site linked in section 3 has some WEIRD romanization choices. I don’t expect these to reflect on any official localization because chances are they’ll go with what Viewster used, which is largely what the fandom is used to besides the Kululu/Kururu split. It is indeed Kululu here and Kululu has been the de facto official spelling for a very very long time now but I still have a personal preference for Kururu because “Kululu” loses the onomatopoeia joke and I’m a rebel. But like. “Tololo”? Since when has Tororo ever been called that in any media? And worst of all, “Pole”? POLE?? That’s literally never been a thing what glossary did they pull these from.

Also worth noting, Alisa and the Narrator had merchandise sold at the Keroro expo (will talk about that next btw) despite not being on the characters page. This isn’t a confirmation of anything but I would be very surprised if Alisa doesn’t return at some point since she was pretty prominent later in the show and Yoshizaki seems to have a particular fondness for her, and the Narrator will obviously be there with a recast, though jury’s out on if his little ’sona guy will show up too. It won’t be the same without Fujiwara :(

I do want to touch upon the “Keroro expo”, officially known as the “Keroro Gunso Super Gerogero Museum” (expo is a fine shorthand because the Japanese word can mean exhibition also), since I’ve mentioned it a couple times throughout this write-up. This was an event that was held in Ikebukuro just recently from April 27–May 12 that was basically a walkthrough experience recreating settings from the anime, having artwork and stuff sprinkled in between (all reused, no new concept art or anything sadly). The main gimmick was that the venue had an exclusive app that let you take AR pictures with models of the Keroro Platoon. It also had an AI chatbot feature where you could talk to each member of the platoon, and not too many posted pictures of this feature but apparently the chatbots were uhhhhhh weird. I have no idea how much of it is generative from other LLMs, and I’m assuming they programmed it at least partially with their own original input/databases (which is the only way to make generative AI even close to ethical), but from the few screenshots I’ve seen their speech was just a little bit awkward and some of the stuff they said was really bizarre. At one point users started to turn it into an otome game and successfully romanced the frogs, which I’m assuming is a little bit out of the bounds of what they were expecting from this experiment. If they do release that app publicly at some point—they labeled the version at the expo to be a “test version,” so maybe—I sincerely hope they at least fine tune it because Good Lord. Finally and maybe most importantly, there were new voice lines recorded for the exhibit to give it an audio-drama type simple story, but unfortunately it was probably not archived because video recording was not allowed inside the venue. The platoon all had new voice lines along with Fuyuki and Natsumi, reportedly still played by Houko Kuwashima and Chiwa Saito respectively, so most likely they will return to reprise the roles for the new anime, though I don’t think those two were much in question. That’s really like the only important part of this for the purposes of this post I’m not sure why I mentioned anything else here actually. AI chatbot Dororo wants you to know he enjoys tickles from Giroro and Tamama. Yeah this thing’s a little fucked

I didn’t want to get too deep into this in section 3 because it’s not really a production related question, but…are Shin Keroro and related new characters gonna be in this or not? For what it’s worth the site seems to count the Flash series as part of the anniversary celebration, and screenshots with Shin in them are there even if he is completely absent from the character page. Flash was a total reboot so I don’t think it will be that exact iteration of the character if he is in the new anime, but there must be some way to work his stuff into the existing anime canon even with its many differences from the manga. Honestly I think the main obstacle to him appearing is just that the guy is not very popular lol. He’s hardly in the manga anymore and Tomosu and Myou are in it even less. I’m not sure if it was just franchise fatigue following the end of the anime but the reception to Shin was very meh across the board (at least among longtime fans, kids might’ve liked him I think. Which makes sense). So I could totally see them skipping him entirely. There’s still a lot of post-anime manga-only stories without his involvement at all, some that included him but he could easily be changed to some other character, and for the stories that revolved around him, well, the Flash anime got to a decent amount of them. This could really go either way but for now I’m going to lean toward him not being included. If he’s put in I think it will not be until the “second season” (whatever the definition of that ends up being) so we can be eased back in to the existing cast first before shaking things up significantly.

I like the new artstyle, assuming it carries over from the trailer to the final project. It looks like they hit a happy medium between the early and late artstyles of the original anime. This is the most obvious with the human cast who haven’t received new official artwork by Koike and/or Oizaki in a looooong time, and they look much better than the last time we saw them in season 7 where everyone got weirdly lanky for some reason.

Okay FINALLY I’m done here for now I think. At the time of writing we’re pretty much just in a “wait and see” phase with no other real concrete info around that I haven’t touched upon in this post. Trust me, I’ve tried digging for more, but I couldn’t find anything really interesting staff-wise and very few of the staff credited in the trailer are even on social media (sometimes staff can be a bit loose-lipped so it’s possible to get hints there). I’ve also checked every nook and cranny of the official sites of both animation studios and the companies on the production committee and turned up with nothing of note. I’m hoping we get some more info at least sometime between now and autumn.

Thanks for reading all the way to the end (or speedscrolling here, don’t worry I won’t be disappointed lol). I hope you found it informative even though I probably spent way too much time yapping about dumb shit. It took me entirely too long to write this post, but I don’t have as much time as I did as a teenager and it’s been a good few years since I’ve done a really deep dive into Keroro stuff. Needless to say, I’m beyond excited for this project and can’t wait to see how the last seven years of me huffing unhealthy amounts of copium pays off. I’ve had like a month and a half to sit on it now and it honestly still doesn’t feel real!

I will most likely return to report when we get some amount of substantial info—hopefully with way fewer words lmao. Until next time! Ge-gero~

[mythology-void]

posting my thunder saga thoughts that I scribbled down while I was listening fair warning they're unhinged and make zero sense

SUFFERING x DIFFERENT BEAST (I couldn't tell when the first one ended)

intro very synthy

Penelope?

PARDON??

jump in the water??

Sirens?? perchance

Daughter?? WHAT IS THIS

ok wtf is going on

Oh noooo 🙄

Scylla..... eeeeEEEe

Suffering is a poor name for this song

OH WHAT THIS SHIT

Let's cut the charade is fucking crazy

WE ARE THE MEN MADE MONSTERS JS FUCKING CRAZY

12 years.. guess we're sticking with this one

clever little bastards aren't ye

spare us 😔

Cut off their tails DAMN throw them in the water DAMN GODDAMN BRO CHILL JESUS FUCK

Kill them all feels unnecessary

the screaming hurts my soul a bit

ok beat drop

SCYLLA

voice reveal

"Not much to say" hahaha

EURYLLEKCOUS YOU FUCKING WHAT

nah bro

Scylla is whispering all deviously and it's concerning

"Light six torches"

HELLO THE RUNS?? HER VOICE IM GONNA KMS

holy FUCK HER VOICE

DUDE

NO WAY JTS A DUET THE HARMONIES IM SHAKING

AHAHAHAHA THE STRINGS MY BELOVED

MUTINY

HSHEJAHABAKNSJEK

the way he spat "Captain"

DUDE THE VOCALS I CANNOT

TF YOU MEAN FORCED YOUR HAND

LOWER YOUR WEAPON

TF DO YOU MEAN ITS NOT STILL GOING

WAIT WHAT HAPPENED

wait what happened with the fight

Don't touch them pls

NOT THE CALLBACK TO LRO

"ODY" IM GONNA CRY

The home of the sun godddddd 😔😔😔

WHO DO YOU THINK HE'LL SEND im deceased please take me home I'm having heart palpitations

"Please don't dooo thisssss" AAAAAAAAAA

"I need to get hooooomeeeee" IM GONNA FUCKIN CRY

"I'm just a man" SHUT. THE FUCK. UP

the "eurylochus NO-" had me on my knees shaking wtfffff

IM GOING TO DIE

I CAN'T EVEN SPEAK oh god here it comes

THUNDER BRINGER

TH THUNDER KM GONNA DBKSNAK

HOOOOOOO WEEEEE BABY HERE WE GO

THE ELECTRIC GUITAR 🎸🎸🎸

GSJBSJABSKSBSKDHRBD

THUNDER BRINGER HEREE TO WRINGGG YOUR EARS ⛈️⚡

IT JUST KEEPS GETTING WORSE

LUKE HOLT MY HUSBAND

HIS VOICE OH MY FUCKING GOD

WHY DO I THINK THEY'D LOSE

ITS SO SCARY BUT SUCH A FUCKIN VIBE

"But we'll die."

"I know." IM GOING TO CRY

the fake scenarios in my head rn are going CRAZY

why are the ending vocals so serene do you realize what just happened

[melefim]

Swearing in Dead Boy Detectives: Episode 3- The Case of the Devlin House

Episode Overview:

48 total, 13 different words said by 10 characters.

Edwin: 1 Damn

Charles: 2 Fuck, 2 Ass, 1 Bloody, 1 God, 1 Cunt, 1 Bastard, 2 Sod, 2 Slag

Crystal: 4 Fuck, 6 Shit, 1 Bitch, 1 Ass, 2 Damn, 2 Hell, 3 God, 1 Jesus

Jenny: 1 Fuck, 1 Ass

Niko: 1 God

Esther: 1 Shit

Calico Cat: 1 Fuck

Litty: 5 Fuck, 2 Bitch

Kingham: 2 God

Headache Ghost: 1 Jesus

Curses Per Character:

Edwin: 1

Charles: 12

Crystal: 20

Jenny: 2

Niko: 1

Esther: 1

Calico Cat: 1

Litty: 7

Kingham: 2

Headache Ghost: 1

Uses Per Word:

Fuck: 13

Shit: 7

Bitch: 3

Ass: 4

Damn: 3

Hell: 2

Bloody: 1

God: 7

Jesus: 2

Cunt: 1

Bastard: 1

Sod: 2

Slag: 2

Lines:

Headache Ghost: Jesus! This headache feels like my eyes are gonna rip apart!

Crystal: Holy shit, who knew this town was such a Mecca for troubled ghosts?

Crystal: I just heard some people talking about it in the um, God, it was the… malt shop and it sounded super crazy.

Jenny: It's a super fucked up story so I'm gonna need some coffee.

Jenny: He killed the mom and daughters while they were watching tv. Asshole.

Crystal: What the actual fuck?

Niko: Oh my god, he is so in to you!

Calico Cat: At least we don't have to go inside. This house is fucked up.

Crystal: Jesus, I can't watch this again.

Crystal: Just what the fuck is it?

Crystal: So ok, if we figure out what sent that piece of shit dad over the edge, we can what? Free the family?

Litty: Looks like they left you behind because you fucking suck.

Litty: They're all gonna fucking die.

Litty: We were fucking kidding, can't you take a fucking joke?

Kingham: God! (Niko throws sweater over jar)

Litty: Stupid fucking bitch!

Charles: He was such a cunt.

Charles: So let's keep the bastard from ever getting his hands on it.

Crystal: Good luck finding it now, asshole.

Charles: How do we break this bloody loop?

Litty: I was confused when you let your friends who saved you go to that scary house alone, but now I see you're just a little bitch.

Kingham: God! I hate you!

Charles: Edwin, don't slag her off just because it turns out you aren't the all-knowing expert on everything, yeah?

Charles: I'm just sick of watching this asshole kill his family a million times for no fucking reason. Tried it your way, and it did nothing. Sod it, let's try mine.

Crystal: Where the hell did he go?

Crystal: Oh thank god, there he is.

Charles: Mate, don't slag her off just because it turns out you aren't the all-knowing expert on all things, yeah?

Charles: I'm just sick of watching this asshole kill his family a million times for no fucking reason. Tried it your way, and it did nothing. Sod it. Let's try mine.

Crystal: His dad was bad, Edwin. Royally fucked-up bad.

Crystal: And if I have to hear that goddamn song one more time, I am gonna lose my shit.

Crystal: Oh shit, yes. (They haven't found a radio)

Crystal: Oh my god. Son of a bitch owned an electronics store.

Crystal: Damn it, I know you choose the worst times to show up on purpose.

Edwin: Damn it. Crystal, if you can hear me, try to stay positive.

Crystal: Go to hell.

Crystal: I am done wasting my energy on your fuck-boy bullshit.

Crystal: Holy shit, we actually did.

Charles: God, that must have been mental.

Esther: Quit loitering you little shits.

Notes:

Previously on Dead Boy Detectives…

Shown in this episode’s recap but not counted above:

Crystal: Oh my god! (Niko collapses) (Episode 2)

Kingham: For real, it smells like dog shit in there. (Episode 2)

Middle finger from both sprites (Episode 2)

Edwin: What the bloody hell is this? (Episode 2)

Updated:

-Added in a ‘god’ from Crystal that I missed

-Replaced ‘Uses Per Word’ chart with a version with better

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

More Dead Boy Detectives Swearing Posts:

Masterlist

Swearing by Episode

Swearing by Character

Swearing by Word

All Swearing Posts

And if you like lists of things like I do, you can check out my other Dead Boy Detectives ones here!

When Charles’ Shirt Colors Change

George Rextrew’s Edwin comic inspo board

Full soundtrack with timestamps

Moves, Incidents, and Cases Masterlist

First pass at finding where the songs in the score are used- full post with timestamps in progress