#Barty too but for a whole other reason

[sixlane]

so sweet

Bartylily microfic | 1.4k words | NSFW

for india @certifiedl0verboy because they said the world needed barty and lily getting high and sharing a costco cheesecake, and also han @honeybcj because the image of barty and lily shotgunning hasn't left my head in days <33

Lily opens her fridge and stares. The cool air and soft light leaks out into the empty kitchen as she contemplates how she became this person. The type who, completely unprompted and for no good reason, buys a whole Costco cheesecake for herself. 

The soft, round monstrosity sits on the bottom shelf of her fridge, taking up so much space she was forced to shove her yogurt into the vegetable drawer. The thing stares back at her, mocking, taunting, begging to be left to mold when she inevitably fails to eat it all. 

The sound of a key in the door snaps her out of the silent stand off.

Fuck, Barty’s home.

She can already imagine his confused smile and snarky comments when he opens the fridge for his nightly Red Bull just to come face to face with Lily’s unexplainable decision. It’s not like they’ve been roommates for long, or friends for that matter. They keep it cordial, stay out of each other's way, smoke the occasional bowl and watch old seasons of America’s Next Top Model, but this seems a little too close to soul-baring for comfort. 

Lily sits down at the table with a glass of water, tries to act casual, tries not to look at the fridge. 

“Hey,” Barty says, dropping his keys on the counter.

Lily nods her head, taking a sip from her glass. For a minute she thinks she’s in the clear because he’s already started to leave the room, but he doubles back at the last minute, realizing he’s forgotten something. 

He pulls the fridge open, reaches down, and stops, just for a second, before grabbing his energy drink and letting the door fall shut. 

Lily pretends she hasn’t been watching him this whole time.

He pops the top on his can, takes a sip and gives Lily a once over. “You having a party or something?”

“Will you leave me alone if I say yes?” Lily deadpans, though she can feel her face heating up. 

“Nope. Then I’d probably have to ask why I wasn’t invited.” He walks over to lean against the island, just a few feet between them, and looks down at her. He takes another sip.

“Ok look I needed more laundry detergent so I went to Costco and obviously I had to look in the bakery section and it was just sitting there. So. I bought it.” Barty’s smile widens as she explains until he’s just grinning at her. “What?” she asks, defensive.

“So you just bought the whole thing for yourself?” He says it curiously. He’s not judging, but she can hear the ulterior motive in his tone. 

She raises an eyebrow at him. “Spit it out.”

Barty huffs a laugh. “One second.” He sets his drink down and heads toward his room, leaving Lily to wonder what his plans are. She can never quite read him. He likes to play up this persona of his, effortlessly carefree and nonchalant, but she has always sensed something just below the surface. She notices it in the way he remembers her work schedule, the way he seems to have eyes in the back of his head. 

When Barty comes back, he’s got a bag of weed in one hand and his grinder and bowl in the other. He holds them up, mouth quirked in a dangerous way, waiting for her response.

Lily reflects the smile back at him. “I like the way you think, Crouch.”

So, Lily grabs the cheesecake, two forks, and some napkins, while Barty packs the first bowl of the night. They light up next to an open window in the living room, inhaling as the warm breeze kisses their cheeks and slides through their hair.

They wait until they’re properly high before digging in, and as Lily brings that first bite to her lips, allows it to settle on her tongue, she swears it’s the best thing she’s ever tasted. 

“Fuuuuuck,” she moans. “This was the best decision I’ve ever made.” She licks the back of the fork, wanting to savor the tangy goodness, and she doesn’t miss how Barty watches before he huffs a laugh and shifts his focus to take a bite of his own.

“God,” he says around a mouthful. “What does Costco put in this shit?” 

“It’s fucking amazing right?” 

It’s at that point that she notices a bit of cake smeared across Barty’s lower lip, so she leans over and wipes her thumb across it. It happens before she can even register she’s done it, but she fully commits, sticking her thumb in her mouth after, tasting sweet and something else.

“You use Aquaphor?” She asks.

Barty stares at her. Red eyes slightly widened. “You can identify Aquaphor by taste?”

Lily smiles with all her teeth and reaches into her back pocket to produce the tube she takes with her everywhere. 

“Put some on,” he says before picking up the bowl for another hit.

She looks at him suspiciously. “Why?”

“Just do it.” He sparks the lighter and breathes in deeply. 

She brings the tube to her lips and smears some on, watching his chest expand behind his t-shirt.

He holds the smoke in his lungs but motions for her to come closer and oh. She sees where this is going. 

The realization doesn’t stop her from leaning in anyway.

Barty’s lips ghost over hers and he breathes the smoke into her open mouth. She inhales in turn, taking the air from his lungs into her own. 

It’s intimate, she thinks, in a way that not many things are. To hold a vital piece of someone else inside yourself. To pass it back and forth with such care, not letting anything slip through the cracks. 

And that thought is what causes Lily to close the barely-there distance. To allow their lips to push together. To allow herself to fully taste the leftover sweetness and Aquaphor and Red Bull on Barty’s tongue, which he doesn’t waste a minute before sliding into her mouth.

It’s sloppy and uncoordinated where they lean over the half-eaten cheesecake between them, and Lily pulls back before her arms give out underneath her. 

They stare at each other for a moment, both smiling and laughing like idiots. 

It’s so easy between them, always has been.

“One more?” Barty asks.

“One more what?” Lily volleys back, eyebrow raised.

“Bite,” He says motioning toward the cake, sly smile across his face.

She rolls her eyes affectionately but nods, leans forward as he scoops another piece, sure to get some of the buttery crust on his fork. He holds it out for her to take but before she can, the pile of cake and graham cracker falls right onto her left tit.

Lily stares down at it, mouth agape for a second before she starts giggling again. Because it’s funny. Everything is so funny she can’t help herself.

That is until Barty’s tongue is dragging itself along the skin there, collecting the cake and making way for his teeth, which bite hard enough to leave a mark. 

He stares up at her as he does it, gauging her reaction. He gets the all clear when Lily fails to stop the needy whine that leaves her throat.

Barty trails his mouth upward, leaving open-mouth kisses along her neck until he reaches her ear.

“You taste so good,” he whispers. Voicing out loud the thoughts she’s been having all night.

Lily lets the corner of her mouth tug up. “You have no idea.”

“Fuck.” He reattaches to her neck and his hands find the button of her pants, dexterous as they undo it and work the zipper down. He reaches beneath her underwear, letting his long fingers slide through her wetness, collecting some before he brings them to his mouth, sucks sinfully and stares her down the whole time.

The haze around Lily’s thoughts sharpens to want, and Barty must see the change in her eyes because he smiles devilishly around the digits before replacing them where she needs them most. 

“So fuckin’ sweet,” he says, circling her clit lazily, not enough pressure to really get her there.

“Please…” she begs, arching into him, trying to push harder against his fingers. She’s too far gone not to act as desperate for it as she is. She wants his fingers inside of her, wants him to lick every inch of her, put his mouth in places it probably doesn’t belong.

“Shhh princess,” he coos. “Just enjoy the ride.”

Once they finish, Lily twice and Barty all over her stomach before licking her clean, Lily will realize they left the cheesecake in the living room under the open window.

Oh well, she was never really going to finish it anyway.

[nightsmarish]

Summary: after talking to Regulus, you both decide to take the offer to stay with the Potters, and barty gets thrown across the slytherin table by Evan

Pt1

A/n: very focused on Reg for some reason, not 100% sure why, but it's lovely, also we love bestie barty. ALSO ALSO, reader is aggressively, very aggressively, hinted to be slytherin

Poly!moonwater x reader (Remus lupin x regulus black x reader) | 1.4k words

Tw: toxic family, running away? Family disappointment, ect. Barty jinxing Gryffindors for sport and an owl flying into a chess game

Asked to be tagged: @misacc08

★⋆｡°⋆𖦹✮₊★⋆｡°⋆𖦹✮₊★⋆｡°⋆𖦹✮₊

It's finally two weeks until the end of this year at Hogwarts. Class times have been filled with going over study guides and reviewing for the final exams only a few days away. 

Neither you nor Regulus have said yes to staying at Potter Manor this summer. Despite James being very adamant about it.

“I’ll just mention you blokes might be joining us.” James told you when you visited Gryffindor table one morning, as he wrote his parents. 

“James-” 

“No, no, let ‘im. No harm in it? Is there?” Sirius cuts you off, feet extended to rest on the bench across the table from him. 

“But Mrs. Potter shouldn’t prepare an extra room if neither of us will be joining.” Your points are acknowledged when James hums to confirm he heard you, but his quill never stops moving.

Remus has been looking at you the whole time. Not in a creepy way, you're both pretty sure not in a creepy way at least. Just in an undivided attention way. Practically ignoring the other two boys to admire you, other than when he occasionally slaps away Sirius’ hand on his fifth attempt to grab Remus’ food. 

You look down to where Remus sits as well. Honestly, he's not that much shorter than you sitting down, but wherever. Your hand that's not holding the strap of your bag gently scratched the hair at the base of his head before kissing his cheek, mumbling a small promise to see him during your study time later. 

ᯓ★

It's not like you don’t want to go to stay with everyone else. It’d be amazing; it really would. But the idea of going when Regulus stays at the Black House feels wrong. You know being with your parents won’t help him, nor will being at James’ house, but it feels wrong. 

Remembering how destroyed he was when Sirius left. When he came back to school, you two hadn’t known the Marauders like you do now. The anger he knew was misplaced, but he couldn’t help but feel abandoned by Sirius. You remember it—the crying, the way he couldn’t focus until a month into school. And you remember Sirius being disowned.

And maybe that's part of it too. The idea of being disowned. Even if you know they are horrible people, people you don’t wish to be related to. The idea still makes you sick. Their horrible and evil, but dear Salazar, parent approval is so addicting and you hate how much you still want it. 

So which is worse, feeling like you betrayed one of your boyfriends, or your parents disapproval? 

“Regulus?” You keep your voice low in the library. The aforementioned boy looks up from his textbook sitting across from you. Remus, next to you, pauses, moving his quill to focus on you two as well.

“Yes?” His voice matches yours, despite being a little more stiff. 

“I wanna talk about it again. About James’ house.” You rush the words out. Probably because you know Regulus will want to shoot it down immediately.

“Love, you know I’m not going.” He sighs, sitting up straight in his seat. 

“Why? Why not go?” 

"Dove-" Remus tries to interject, not sure how well direct confrontation will go after Regulus has already denied it far too many times.

“What would I do?”

Both you and Remus pause, looking right at Regulus. Who stares right back at you.

“What do you mean?’ Remus says what you think.

“I leave, I get disowned, I lose the family fortune.” There are unspoken words there; everyone knows. He loses the Black name, he loses the reputation, and he loses everything he ever knew. Sirius had always wanted to leave; he had dreamed about it long before the possibility ever even crossed Regulus’ mind. The older Black had an idea of what would happen long before he left. Regulus hasn't gotten that right. 

“We can figure it out when we get there, love.” Remus rests his quill in the small ink pot, reaching both his hands to cup Regulus’ hands between his own. 

All three of you stay silent for a second, Regulus looking down at Remus’ hand covering his own, you staring at Regulus, and Remus looking between the two of you, trying to figure out what to do. 

"If..." you sigh, shifting in your seat, “if... you go... I’ll go, and we can figure it out together.” 

Gray eyes shoot up to yours. “Are you serious?” His voice is unsure, like you're going to take your offer back for no apparent reason. 

“Yeah. I’m scared too, but I don't think I can bring myself to go back, not this time. But at the same time, I won’t be okay with going if you don’t go.”

Remus takes a deep breath, one hand still holding the younger boy's hand, other moving so his arm wraps around your shoulder, gently rubbing your upper arm. “So, it's settled. I can tell James.” 

“Thank you,” You whisper, and Regulus takes one of his hands from the lycan to intertwine your fingers. 

ᯓ★

The letter felt wrong to write. Less than a week before you're off to Potter Manor is when you get a response.

You're sitting at the Slytherin table in the morning when the letter holding their response arrives. Your owl landing smoothly, unlike the poor Hufflepuff owl you see sly head first into a game of Wizard Chess.

The seal of the letter belongs to your family, and it's painfully obvious. Regulus had gotten his response within a few days. Hurtful and harsh, despite never reading it yourself.

Looking around, Regulus is watching Barty, who is sitting on the long table rather than at it, cast small, mostly-hopefully harmless jinxs on a few older Gryffindors who haven't seemed to notice who's doing it. While Evan is whispering more and more jinxs for Barty to use.

Deciding that you might as well get it over with, you break the wax seal. The letter was nothing but vile, as you expected, the threats, the anger, the disappointment. Yet, you are honestly relieved. Like a huge, bolder is off your back. Sisyphus would envy you.

"And what do you have? A secret admirer? Are you planning on finally leaving the wild beasts you call boyfriends?"

Barty turns his attention to you as you finish reading, snatching the letter to inspect it.

"Ew, is that from your parents?" Evans nose scrunches up, noticing the names signed at the bottom of the parchment when he leans over Bartys shoulder.

"Yeah, I wrote them last week that I'd be staying with the Potters this summer, and they finally got back to me." Your voice remains surprisingly even, despite feeling somewhere between calm and like you're going to vomit, cry, and punch a wall.

Evan and Barty continue to scrutinize the letter, the phrasing, and how your mother writes the letter S weird. While Regulus leans closer to you.

"Everything okay?" His quite, a stark contrast two the boys sitting acorsd from you as Barty pushes his boyfriend off the seat for something or another and Evan kicks a little too close to Bartys dick.

"Yeah, it'll be okay." You hum, scooting closer to the pale boy, "would you and Remus want to come stay at my dorm tonight? At least for a little? Serenella and Iris are both going to be out all night."

"Of course, love. I'll grab Remus after charms and we can meet you there before dinner?" A soft kiss is placed on the top of your head when he finishes his sentence.

"That sounds good."

The peace of the situation is cut off by Barty falling off the table towards you, taking you down to the floor with him.

"God damnit Barty!" A smile far to big for the situation paints your face face.

"Evan threw me, gem! He tried to kill me! I'm wounded." Barty sits half on hus knees, half laid out on the gross Hogwarts in such a pathetic manor Regulus chuckles under his breath.

"And I'll do it again idiot!" Evan sits back on his spot at the long table. Huffing while smoothing out his hair and uniform.

"Oh God, gem, I won't make it." Barty throws himself onto you, your back to the ground as you laugh. "If I die will you leave your loser boyfriends to join me and Evan?"

"Okay, junior, that's enough." Remus appears in your vision, slightly nudging Bartys side, like touching him too long will make whatever is sodding wrong with the boy rub off on him.

"Hello, big boy." Barty stands up and takes you with him, dusting off his and your clothes. "You know, both of you could leave Regulus and-"

"Okay Barty!" Regulus pushes Barty to sit back down, shutting him up as he begins to bicker with Regulus next.

[mildlyanxiousverge]

The Slytherin trio(Barty, Evan, Reg) after running away from their rich families and living together at an apartment Reg got under his name not used to not having moneys so they made a plan and use their expertises to hustle in Hogwarts:

Reg being a god at potions and herbology, money maker, with a businessman's mind, with good manipulation tactics to make his products the 'it' factor😌 selling anti-sleeping potions (ravenclaws are his no.1 costumer with this), anti-nighmare(Slytherins, this is also why no one at the greenhouse messes with them), prank goos and other pranksy stuff(surprisedly this is a hit at the Huplepuffs), and anti-talking(the Gryffindors adored him for this one, I wonder why?👀) and other good stuff and convinces you to buy and agree to shit like he's Ursula and Dr. Facilier at the same time.

Barty selling his notes (he's got 12 owls, this bitch is smart), making his assignment duplicates and altering them with and altering spell he somehow knows, tutoring shit, making his mind open with answers at the exam and letting people enter, matchmaking king, he's Hogwarts cupid, he also does extra background checks for your crushes to see if they have red flags😌

Evan master at conviction and charm, he is rented for breakups because he can somehow make bad things sound like a dream, master at reasoning people need him when they want to win a fight, the messenger god, here to bring message from people are too cowardly to tell someone, sometimes people go to him to help the confess and barty is bitter because 'that's supposed to be his costumers Ev'.

They also have other deals, and can deal with your shit, so if you have a problem go to the trio for help, need to humiliate ur ex cuz he cheated? they've got you!!! Need your parents to never know the shit you do at school??? they'll cover!!!Need to kill someone but torture them brutally first???well...*looks to cannon* sorry not today

They also sell tea about people, they know shit, they know her ex's boyfriend's secret mistress, AND BLACKMAIL!!! Don't forget that they'll sell it at a high price!!! but if you need it, you know where to go!!! They can also get you out of trouble, no one knows how they'll do it but whatever they do works!!! They can prank someone you hate at a reasonable price (and they don't get caught unlike some people 🙄)

Regulus also got their business legalized(idk how he did it he's just that awesome) and have documents and does all thing legally (loopholes baby) with processes of contracts before agreeing with a client so something can't go wrong (and the teacher can't do about it) HAHSHSHAH

Pandora and Dorcas fully support them They're the managers and handles a lot of shit we don't talk about😌😏

Imagine Sirius' reaction when he finds out not only his brother run away but he also runs a sketchy yet legal(?) business with his friends and they're thriving JAjsjajajaHAJAHAHAH Remus at the background impressed about the whole thing and James drooling at Regulus' business suit atire AHAHSHAHAGHAAH Peter is a honorary member for being an investor with secrets, blackmails, and gossip that he adds

[sommerregenjuniluft]

something something day of the week snippet

helo tumblr *wrings hands* i've been a little mia recently especially in tag thingies because we've not been doing too hot mentally but alas here i am :p

@grimsneverendingfuneral tagged me (kissing u) in a mouthwatering rosekiller wip snippet and i saw saints' too so i thought i'd just keep the theme going so have some Ant Pile (btw i'm trying to finish this until my birthday so mid february! fingers crossed you get everything of this soon)

Evan hits him upside the head making Barty growl. “Well, bitch boy, maybe. Since it seems you like to do that so fucking much.” 

“Dickface.”

“Bitch boy.”

“You–” and then Barty’s upper lip pulls back and- oh, fuck no.

“Ay! Don’t fucking bite me again, B,” Evan rears his arm back and out of reach, “I swear to– get the fuck off.”

Barty snarls, teeth bared in a too wide smile, cheeks crinkling with stretched dimples. Evan is only mildly obsessed with them whenever they pop out.

That’s probably the reason Barty gets the opportunity to make a swift grab for his wrists and pin them over his head. They scramble against each other, trying to win the upper hand as their legs wriggle, slip, knees knocking, and then Barty is suddenly perched on his chest, straddling his torso and sinking his teeth into the soft underside of Evan’s forearm.

He cries out through clenched teeth, more startled than hurt, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t sting like a motherfucker as Barty’s jaw stays clamped shut around Evan’s flesh.

There’s a sucked in breath against Evan’s skin, sounding excited, and there must be some kind of blood flow interruption because his head gets a little dizzy then.

It draws a noise out of him, body involuntarily starting to squirm and eventually prompting Barty to let up.

The first thing Evan feels is relief which is promptly inundated. Another noise punching out of him, a pained hiss when the marked skin starts throbbing. 

Barty above him gives a pleased chuckle, then a wet slurping noise, collecting the spit back up into his mouth. 

Another throb, whole-body, and Evan groans.

Barty adjusts on top and leans down again.

Evan’s eyes fly open, frantically wiggling to get away but Barty’s grip is iron and then there’s something warm-wet. Pleasant.

Evan blinks and tips his head back, something lodging in his throat when he watches Barty lap over the teeth indents with his tongue. Warm and careful, a soothing gesture. 

He doesn’t slobber on it, rather alternating between long swipes with the flat of his tongue and little kitten licks. Until Barty makes a small sound and then his lips come down over the marred skin too.

Soft pressure, damp lips coming down randomly over and over again, here and there and over there, too.

A constant, recurring puff of breaths spilled over Evan’s sensitive skin, much too gentle in the face of the firm way Barty’s hand still holds him down by the wrists.

“B,” Evan chokes out when he feels some of the returning blood rushing south too.

His friend grunts, not really in acknowledgement but more in a dismissive let me cook here way and Evan bites down hard on his lower lip. That doesn’t help him suppress the startled moan though when Barty suddenly sucks the pulsing skin into his mouth.

Adam’s apple bobbing and holding the patch of skin in his mouth, cheeks hollowing and takes everything in Evan not to buck his hips when he feels himself twitch in his pants.

Evan’s voice is so husky he barely recognizes it himself when he strangles out, “Barty, you gotta let go.”

The skin pops out of his mouth with a wet smacking noise and Evan feels positively stupid as he watches Barty’s lips come down for one more gentle kiss like he just can’t help himself.

Barty sits back, still kind of looking at Evan like he wants to eat him, hands sliding off his wrists and Evan barely refrains from whimpering.

“Fuck, I hate you. You’re insane,” he pants, feeling where Barty is hard against his stomach, “Why was that hot?”

“Dunno,” Barty responds, eyes still glazed and staring down at Evan with something akin to awe. “Kinda wanna do that to your neck now.”

i have lost any concept of time and as mentioned been not too active so apologies if youve been tagged in one of these fairly recently lol <3 @stagpdf, @static-radio-ao3, @itsjaywalkers, @rottin6, @veryinnovative, @messrsage, @maliceofminds, @lemndrps, @214lilacsky, @regscupid, @xjustakay, @standardlovers and @kaleidoscopexsighs

[queerregulusablack]

Okay okay okay a PJO Marauders AU

James is a Son of Apollo because ??? who else could father this man. His conception was a kind of a favour to Effie and Monty - bc they were desperate for a child but couldn’t conceive without help, and Artemis elbowed Apollo and was like ‘bitch I can’t do it?’ so he made James for them - and James is very much in the camp of ‘thank you for the demigod stuff, still not my dad’ every time he crosses paths with his father.

Remus is the Son of Diana - Roman version of Artemis, Goddess of the Hunt and the Moon - and she Actually raised him for a little while, but he’s at Camp Half Blood for ~safety reasons~. He stays in the Athena cabin (because Artemis doesn’t have one, virgin goddess and all that) with:

Lily! Daughter of Athena.  The Annabeth Chase parallels are too many to list. Can we really blame James for being obsessed with her? No, we cannot.

Peter is a Son of Demeter. He is very aware of how all of his friends are inclined toward chaos and heroics while he Literally Just Wants To Grow His Tomatoes Please. Pray for Peter, he is #suffering.

Sirius and Regulus, when they first arrive at Camp, don’t tell anyone who their parent is - Sirius talks whoever asks in circles until they’re laughing about something else, while Regulus just stares the askers down until they go away - and there’s a lot of discussion and debate, until it eventually - probably courtesy of a not-so-accidental slip of the tongue from Dumbledore - comes out that they’re the Sons of Nyx.

Being sons to the primordial Goddess of Night is complicated, even without all their personal trauma - Nyx was never widely worshipped, but the Blacks have worshipped her for generations, and when the decree went out that the Gods were no longer permitted to raise their own children, she put her sons in the care of Walburga and Orion thinking they’d treasure them. Walburga didn’t react well to figuring out that demigods or not, the children she’d been granted guardianship of were still, y’know, children - and Nyx is one of the only Gods Zeus is actually afraid of, so people knowing is a bit complicated.

Especially with the way many of Zeus’ grandkids rally around Sirius post-revelation, and his best friendship with James - Night and the Sun, how apt - while the kids of the less popular Gods circle Regulus, identifying with the more closed off little brother who takes his heritage a little more seriously and still calls Nyx mother in his prayers.

Extra points:

-In the midst of heroic such and such they all meet the Gods, and Regulus calls Zeus ‘nephew’ to his fucking face and James almost passes out from laughing so hard.

-Mary is a Daughter of Aphrodite; Marlene is a Daughter of Nike, Goddess of Victory; Dorcas is a Daughter of Ares; Pandora is a Daughter of Eris (and Regulus calls her niece, and she calls him uncle right back); Barty is a Son of Hermes: Evan is a Son of Hephaestus.

-James only figures out he’s got a special talent for healing when Remus is hurt by one of the Things That Hunt Him. Would it be cute if it was Starchaser? Yes. But it’s my AU and James Potter would move mountains for his friends.

-Regulus and Lily are gently wary of each other, to start, but quickly grow close, finding solidarity in Younger Sibling Trauma - Petunia is not a demigod, and her jealousy is cruel and sharp-edged - and being some of the only sane people in the whole Camp.

-Pandora is a chaos gremlin. Her mother is so proud.

-Nyx loves her sons. It tore her apart to give them up, and she’s still very angry about it. Regulus’ prayers keep her going. When she finds out what Walburga did to her kids, her revenge is nothing to be scoffed at.

[starrylayle]

My fave marauders ships and dynamics as a multi-shipper !! Ok so, there are certain ships I like to imagine as canon in the canon universe, and there are other ships that I prefer in aus and such but still ship them so much!! So I thought I’d just ramble abt them here lol.

My fave ships that are canon/I think I should be endgame:

First off, Jily ofc. My loves. I’m generally not super excited abt str8 couples but they’re just too cute. My fave dynamic with them is that they’re academic rivals — well at least lily thinks they are, James is just hopelessly in love with her and enjoys competition lol. Lily thinks he’s an idiot, immature and a bit of a bully at first but slowly warms up to him as she sees his kind-heartedness and stance on justice. Plus, she’s always found him a little hot :)

Wolfstar, duh. I don’t think I have to go into detail coz I already do so much on my blog lol.

Dorlene — aaah I love my tragic, angsty lil lesbians. Sucker for the quidditch-rivals-to-lovers trope. Ooh and i headcanon Dorcas as transfem. But yeah if you’ve read ‘the hands that feeds’ by rollercoasterwords that’s basically how I see their dynamic.

Fralice — cuties and did not deserve the ending they got ;((

Rosekiller — ok, ok. I know I’ve ranted abt how I don’t like the fanonization of their characters in fandom,, but I will admit I do like them together. Especially when they’re depicted as the awful people they are lol. I like to think that they’re still hooking up in GoF on nights where barty’s poly juice wears off lmaoo. Also random but I hc Barty to be in ravenclaw.

Pandora x Xenophillius (idk how to spell his name) — I like to imagine Pandora as a goth who runs an underground magical weed business and Xeno as a hippie weirdo and conspiracy theorist. Both are bi/pan tho and have def hooked up with ppl of the same gender before.

Andromeda x Ted Tonks — iconic. Love them. Andy was the og rebellious black family child.

Emmary — love, love this ship. For context, I picture Emmaline as a little older than Mary (maybe 2 or 3 years) and they meet when Em’s at the order. Mary’s a bisexual girlie who’s predominantly been with men at this point, and Em’s a big Butch lesbian who loves Mary so much but isn’t sure if Mary likes her back, at first. Ofc they end up together after the first war but when Em wants to join the second war, Mary oblivates herself and retreats to the muggle world entirely because she cannot bear more pain.

My fave ships that I like to think are semi-canon, as in their unrequited, or right person wrong time, or both have feelings that the other doesn’t know — they just don’t workout for some reason:

First off, Marylene — my absolute fave, right person, wrong time ship. Love the whole, ‘Marlene loved her too early, Mary loved her too late idea’. I’m a sucker for best friends to lovers ahhh. I imagine that Marls had crush on Mary since they were eleven and came out to her later, and although Mary was supportive she didn’t like her back at that point. Then Marls got with Dorcas and maybe Mary got a tad bit jealous. And then Marlene was killed ofc so Mary moved on and went with Emmaline, but she never really stopped loving Marlene.

Nobleflower — bi narcissa and Alice rights!! I like to think that they had a bit of a homoerotic friendship back in their hogwarts years, but the fact that they were on opposite sides eventually pulled them apart. And so Alice gets with Frank and Narcissa with Malfoy. Aaah so tragic I love them

Lily x Remus — I like to think Lily had a little crush on Remus when they were younger but she got over it and they became besties !!

Bellatrix / Lady Zabini — Toxic murder comphet lesbians!! Tho I imagine they ‘broke up’ their fling coz Bellatrix was murdering with pure blood fascism in mind,,, and lady Zabini was just like,, why can’t we just kill ppl for the sake of killing them?? 🥺🥺

Jegulus — ok so I don’t like jegulus as a canon(ish) ship, buuut I love me some unrequited jegulus, specifically from Regulus’ side coz sorry I just personally don’t see James ever liking Reg in canon. I imagine Reg goes into hogwarts wanting to hate the guy who stole his brother but ends up falling for him just the same. He has internalised homophobia and hates the fact that he’s gay, esp for someone like James lol.

Bartylus — My hc is that neither of them liked each other romantically, but they settled and got off each other to pass time. It’s transactional, at least it’s starts off being..maybe barty’s a little more into it than reg thinks they are.

Peter/Bertha Jorkins — I like to imagine they dated for awhile during hogwarts — until Bertha got bored of him and dumped him. Peter never really got over it and was still bitter.

Peter/Sybil — oooh I remember this one was trending on marauders tik tok awhile back but I’m still not over it. Happens after Bertha/Peter. Sybil breaks up with Peter maybe coz she gets a prophecy that he becomes evil. Peter is confused and heartbroken.

Snily — ok hear me out!! I don’t care for their portrayals in a lot of fics coz I think the pro / anti Snape bias is always there — but I would be open to exploring the complexity of their dynamic in a fic when snapes actions aren’t justified or excused, but he’s not portrayed as a one dimensional bad guy. And I think it would be interesting to explore more of Lily’s character and why she stuck by him so long.

Ok, now onto ships that I only enjoy in aus:

Marylily/macevans — by far my fave ship in aus. Best friends to lovers >>>> also half the marauders edits saved on my phone are marylily edits lmaoo they’re just so cute!!

Jegulus — requited this time!! If it’s an au and James is not reduced to a generic sunshine people pleasing character, then they’re a little cute I’ll admit. Not the biggest fan of the 'best friend's brother' trope but the drama is entertaining at least.

Mary/Dorcas — I don’t think they’re a very popular on here but I personally like it. In a way they’re opposites but they’re motivations are a lot more similar than they realise.

Pandalily — so, so cute. Fanart is spectacular

Dorlily — so academic rivals to lovers coded

Prongsfoot — specifically in aus where James and Sirius are on opposing sides, for example, slytherin!Sirius au

Wolfstarbucks — James and sirius share everything!! Including their lovers apparently. Mostly enjoy it as a crack ship tho.

Well this was fun!! I love multi-shipping <33

[itsjaywalkers]

hi laurie <3 i, too, am all aboard the bartylily train. that said, would you possibly spare some of your bartylily hcs?

hi han beloved <333 I LOVE TO TALK ABOUT THEM SO I'D LOVE TO SHARE SOME HCS i already posted some of them a while ago and u can read them here !! but that being said . here are some more

lily's friends completely despise barty and they never manage to get along with him, while barty's friends accept lily and hang out with her quite often !!

bc of this, i really think that there would exist some distance between lily and the marauders once she starts dating barty.. i feel like she's still very close to mary and marlene despite them not being fond of barty but . it'd be more difficult with james and the rest . for obvious reasons (until james starts dating reg and he also has to suffer barty on a regular basis)

barty is fucking obsessed with her.. he teases her and they bicker a lot but his cool act is just that: an act. he's screaming inside his head the whole time

they fuck a lot and they're real nasty about it. lily lovessss to let go and allow barty to take control, she becomes vvvv submissive and needy when she's horny and barty lives to make her feel good and fucking worship her

barty drives with one hand, cigarette twisted between his fingers, while the other stays on lily's thigh, always way too high to be considered respectable

he tries to be Better just for her bc barty believes lily deserves the very best and he's not That he's never been but lily loves him in all his trashy lame dirty glory

they have study dates and make out sloppy style during their smoke breaks

barty's mum absolutely adores lily and nothing brings barty more joy than seeing them getting along and spending time with each other

barty loves seeing lily get angry or be mean

and lily loves when barty is violent (especially if it's for her) and gets into fights

she always patches him up afterwards and kisses every single one of his injuries

they look like they don't belong together bc she's so princess-like, with her cardigans and her skirts and her gloss and her long red hair, and he's the guy your parents always warned you about, with his band shirts and his ripped jeans and his dirty untied converse and his piercings

and yet . they're Perfect . they balance each other out, and i genuinely feel that this is the relationship in which barty is his Sanest

don't get me wrong he's still a fucking weirdo and kind of unhinged but i feel like lily calms him down in the sense that he feels safe and seen enough to be able to drop some of his devil may care + nothing can touch me attitude

i've talked about this a hundred times but the whole point of their dynamic is that . they can leave their respective masks behind around each other . they're not Lily Evans The Saint or Barty Crouch Jr The Failure . they're just lily and barty!!! you know??

they always smoke after sex

barty bakes with his mum and brings every new thing they make to lily when he goes to pick her up from work

holding hands at all times!!! and she always sits on his lap when they're out!!!!

[loonsmoons]

The Marauders and their … Hogwarts Houses ? because I think this is a fun little idea :)

(You know how fandoms outside the HP universe will have HP AUs ? And sort the characters into Hogwarts Houses ? This is how I think we would sort The (modern) Marauders, if we weren’t already a HP fandom :D)

James: Hufflepuff. Come on, this one is obvious. Him and all the other Golden Retriever / Himbo Characters to ever exist. That whole James Potter aka The Sun stuff ? Him being kind-hearted and loyal (to his family and friends) ? Hufflepuff.

Sirius: Gryffindor. Him and all the Badass But Kind / Popular Kid Characters. Like him leaving his abusive household ? Brave. Also there’s something about his attitude, posh without the asshole attitude (at least later on) that’s giving chivalrous.

Remus: Ravenclaw. Yes, sometimes he’s given a sort of No Fucks Given attitude, but even then he’s still depicted as smart. Like cigarette in hand or not, he’s almost always enjoying reading. And his most common characterization are Light / Dark Academia vibes for sure.

Peter: Hufflepuff. In Modern AUs there usually isn’t any crazy betrayal happening, so there’s no actual reason for him to be too brave, instead he’s more of a chill and fun guy. Plus, oftentimes James and him are childhood friends, so that would make for fun housemates ig ?

Lily: Ravenclaw. Similar to Remus, she has those Light / Dark Academia Vibes and is often portrayed as this smart and witty character. Plus, specifically in Jily Fics, it makes for great Himbo x Smart Girl Fics. Also, there’s potential for a great Remus x Lily friendship.

Mary: Gryffindor. She’s often portrayed as this very strong and independent character and has a Standing On Business kinda attitude. She’s also usually very confident, especially sexuality / gender wise which fits the vibes and is brave for sure.

Marlene: Hufflepuff. I could also see her being in Gryffindor, because she too is a very brave character in my opinion, but I think she often has a personality similar to James, so this makes more sense to me. Plus: James, Peter and her -> childhood friends and housemates !!!

Dorcas: Slytherin. She has those Cool Badass Character vibes. She knows what she wants and she gets what she wants, like she’s ambitious and clever for sure. I think she’s also usually a rather intimidating character? Plus, Hufflepuff! Marlene x Slytherin! Dorcas Fics.

Pandora: Slytherin. I think her characterization has changed from where she was a sweet / bubbly and eccentric character, to where she’s still that now, but also lowkey insane. Plus those intimidating vibes again -> Slytherin. Also, Pandalily Fics would go hard like this !

Regulus: Ravenclaw. I do think there would be a lot of Slytherin! Regulus Fics, especially for the Black Brothers Drama, but the vibes are too similar to Remus’ and Lily’s for him to not be in Ravenclaw. This would make for a fun trio and good Jegulus / Jegulily for sure.

Barty: Gryffindor. I feel like this is a wild one, like he could be in Slytherin or Ravenclaw as well, but for some reason I think he would be a Bad Boy Gryffindor, and everyone would be confused why he’s there and he’d hate it too, but idk, he sometimes has similar vibes to Sirius …

Evan: Slytherin. Maniac, need I say more? Imagine running into Pandora and him, like they are for sure those twins everyone’s kinda afraid of. Also, I think this would make for some great Rosekiller Fics, as well as a great Regulus, Barty and Evan friendship, like yes.

[florsial]

hiiiiiiii hello<33

thoughts on dorcas meadows? I for one adore her as the absolute queen she is😌

ALSO SORRY I DIDNT RESPOND TO YOUUUU I GOT OFF TUMBLR FOR A BIT B4 I COULD SEE IT😭😭

anyways ily !!!

ITS ALL GOOD DON'T WORRRYYYYYYY

I find actually find Dorcas to be a very strong character. She's willing to drop her friends because what they were doing was very fucked up (lets be honest, joining a terrorist group isn't the most yk morally good thing)

(Just a heads up, if it isn't obvious in this rant. I don't think that Barty, Evan, or Regulus were forced into joining the DE, but this ain't about them rn)

From this thought, I think that Dorcas believed that her friends were strong enough to turn away from their families' bigoted views but in the end, once she found out that they couldn't, it was a lost cause in her eyes.

It's like a friend going back to their toxic ex or trying to help someone who doesn't want to be helped. That's kinda how I view it.

Dorcas is strong in the sense that she knows when they can't be helped, these were her friends for at least 6-7 years. For that long of period, a lot of people would struggle to turn their back on someone they want to "save" in hopes it would get better. I don't think she was like "Maybe I could undo this." She recognized a lost cause and left, and I think that's very good for her.

And, going back to dropping her friends. She dropped a 6-7 year friendship to be the good side, she was brave enough to give up a long and deep friendship to fight for what was right. However, I don't think she ever got super close to any of the Order members (except Marlene), because, in the end, she did end up losing her close friends (and Pandora too, that's a whole other thing though), she will be upset and she will mourn what could've been between her friends.

Dorcas knows that her friends have their families pulling them back, but she also knows that it's up to them to try and break away, and when they don't she sticks by her morals (which yk not killing ppl based on blood-type shit), and she ups and leaves. And I think it was the best she could've done for herself.

Throwing that aside. In happier times, she was the girl whose mind was constantly going. I imagine her as a quick thinker and someone who processes stuff in her head very quickly. She wanted to be an actress and had a bunch of movie star posters up on her wall and perfected her singing and voice control. Painting and analyzing was a skill she honed for many years. She was probably the most reasonable one in the Pantheon and the most down to Earth.

She wasn't social but she didn't shy away from interactions, she wasn't violent but she was willing to fight, and she wasn't overconfident but she knew what she owed or deserved.

But that didn't mean she didn't have flaws. She lashes out at the Order because she lost her friends, she is envious of the Marauders, of Marlene (I do believe, like every other relationship, their relationship was the rocks during the war) because all her friends are fighting for Muggle-borns, she views her friends as weak for giving in to their families so quickly without fighting back, she's stubborn and finds it hard to admit when she's wrong, she's competitive, and she can be harsh with her words that it feels as if she stabbed a dagger into unfatal area and left you to bleed.

SO! Her animagus, I think should've been a tiger, an animal that guides one to their inner wisdom and symbolizes strength

[chairmenmeow]

Evan - Guys don’t panic but I think that over there is a spider.

Dorcas (turns around in her chair) - Wait let me see the little eight-legged cutie.

Barty - AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHERE, WHERE!

Regulus - DO NOT LET IT COME NEAR ME!

Evan - Calm down it's just a spider. Is the great Regulus Black and Barty his noble assistant going to let themselves get all scared over a spider?

Barty - Wait, why am I the ASSISTANT?

Regulus - Because it isn’t going to be me! I am far too fabulously smart for that.

Barty - Ohhh right, because you are from the great smart noble incest house. I forgot.

Regulus - (offended) WELL yo-

Evan - I think there is a fair way to figure out who is assistant

Dorcas - Go on

Evan - Whoever touches the spider for the longest period of time is not the assistant.

Dorcas - Seems fair to me, but I am pretty they are both too scared to attempt something like that ;)

Barty and Reg in unison - wE CouLD

Dorcas - Then do it.

Barty (PIcks up the spider for 3 seconds) - Beat that Reg

Regulus (Gulps and picks up the spider) - Alright

Regulus the moment the spiders on his hand (Starts shaking his hand to get it off) - GET OFF ME YOU LITTLE EIGHT LEGGED MONSTER!

Regulus (manages to keep the spider for eight seconds before launching the spider into a desk and killing it)

(Pandora comes through the door)

Pandora - Bumble here are the treats without nargles. Bumbles where are you????

Dorcas - Who’s Bumbles?

Pandora - The spider.

Evan - ……………………..

Dorcas - …………………………

Barty - ……………………….

The Marauders - ………………………

The golden snitch - …………………..

Everyone in the whole world - …………………………

The universe - ………………..

Barty - It was Regulus! I had nothing to do with it!!!

Regulus - LIES! I AM PERFECTLY INNOCENT

Pandora - I believe you

Barty - wait WHAT

Regulus - AND BECAUSE I AM SO INNOCENT, I WILL JUST LEAVE THROUGH THIS DOOR RIGHT HERE! NO OTHER REASON OTHER THAN INNOCENCE!

(Regulus leaves through the door)

Pandora - So0ooo0 does anyone know where Bumbles the spider is?

Everyone- Nope /( ..)\

Pandora - Alright then, I’ll just ask Reg :)

[jeanmoreausautismstickers]

my marauders headcannons <3

Remus Lupin

heterochromia. I don't care what the films say this man has two different coloured eyes tyvm. the left ones dark brown, nearly black, and the right is a light shade of amber.

DYSLEXIA !! my dyslexic little mate we can match. he absolutely adores reading but it takes him longer if he doesn't use a spell (ty to MsKingBean89 for the spell idea mon ami(e))

hEDS. me too king

cat lover. he absolutely adores cats and sirius gets SO jealous. I think he absolutely owned a cat at some point b4 he started teaching and he dotted on that cat

wears elastics on his wrists (specifically during hogwarts for sirius and lily, but kept wearing them after out of habit </3)

Sirius Black

hard of hearing. I think he probably lost it cos his mum hit his ears or screamed so often at him in close quarters. he'd definitely be vv resentful over it too cos now he's not able to listen to music much

audhd fr. this man was definitely neurodivergent but he must be just like me and be autistic and have adhd cos yh

he whined. loads. not like whinging but like genuinely high pitched whines when he was frightened or upset, kind of like Enid from Wednesday

adored kids but was terrified to have them because of how his mum was

this is gonna be controversial but idc. this man absolutely fancied Remus when he was shagging women, but at one point dated Marlene and Remus at the same time. it's ok tho cos Marlene was kissing Mary on the side

James Potter

vegetarian. refused to eat meat after he became an animagus because it felt cruel, but ESPECIALLY wouldn't eat deer jerky ("it's practically cannibalism, padfoot!")

mama's boy through and through !! this man LOVED his mummy. told her all about his friends and Lily

taught Sirius how to treat people and house elves better when they were first years. you can't tell me this man wasn't the reason sirius wanted to improve himself

he fought w sirius a lot. im sorry I love them both but brothers fight and like. even found family brothers. sirius is the most petty bitch you cannot tell me that James didn't get annoyed or frustrated with some of Sirius' habits and didn't begin arguments over them

so bad w kids until Harry. he was absolutely terrified of them, cos he never had interacted with them much before he had his own, my man Sucked at babysitting and frequently panicked whilst lily was pregnant because he was scared he'd be a bad parent

Peter Pettigrew

#1 James fan. my guy didn't go anywhere if James wasn't going to be there

become You Know because of his jealousy of James and Sirius' friendship

aroace fr. absolutely Disgusted w the amount of PDA by jily and wolfstar

tried to protect Harry for as long as he could w out being suspicious. he still loved James and Lily, and their son, and was just too scared to fight back at You Know Who once James and Lily were dead

a whole virgin, never even tried getting with anyone before he realised he was aroace

Lily Potter (Evans)

actually thought the Marauders were pretty funny but put on a face because of being friends with Snape

a whole pansexual queen

bought everyone in Gryffindor Christmas gifts, or if they were Jewish/Muslim/any other religion that doesn't celebrate Christmas she'd figure out when their holiday was and got them gifts

first person Remus came out to. and she accepted him immediately because she knows what it feels like to be an outcast

so autistic. her special interest was absolutely Jane Austen books I take no criticism <3

Regulus Black

hated his mum just as much as Sirius, but actively tried to conform because he was too scared to be hurt by her

was angry with Sirius for running away, even if he understood why Sirius did it, it still hurt him immensely. that was his older brother, the only one he could talk to, and when he left, it broke off the little bit of familial love he had left

in love w Barty Crouch Jr. I DO NOT CARE. platonic my aSS they were boyfriends, but they hid it very well. absolutely such a healthy couple before the war though. got together when they were 13 or 14 by accident, and stayed together until Reg died

actually really enjoyed being called Reg and Reggie, but pretended to hate it so he wouldn't be perceived as weak or soft by his mum

chess fucking champion

Marlene McKinnon

the flirtiest person you'll ever meet. flirted with everyone but was actually an aromantic lesbian

loved her family unconditionally, and constantly was going home on weekends to help her mum before she died of breast cancer

hated school, she was dyslexic and never told anyone so everyone just thought she was a dumb blonde

half Japanese, but her biological father left when she was a baby, so she wasn't really in tune with that part of her culture.

got bullied in primary school for being the "only dumb Asian"

Mary Macdonald

the most supportive person you'll ever meet

helped the younger POC in Gryffindor take care of their hair properly, and absolutely was like an older sister to all the young girls

not a mean bone her body

muggle born, but she grew up with a friend that had a wizard father so she knew about magic before Hogwarts

terrified of dogs, except for Padfoot, because of being bitten by one when she was in nursery

Dorcas Meadowes

a lesbiannnn. she was in love with Pandora, and they dated for a while before she decided she was done with the Wizarding World and cut contact with everyone

slytherin, but she was friends with everyone

loved Quidditch

oh she was a Pureblood but her parents died when she was young and she stayed with a squib aunt til hogwarts

took muggle studies and would hex any Slytherin who made fun of her for it

Pandora Lovegood (Lestrange)

a Lestrange until marriage

terrified of Narcissa and Bellatrix, but was one of the bridesmaids at Bellatrix's wedding

Ravenclaw, but best friends with Dorcas, Regulus, Barty, and Evan and was hardly if ever in her own common room

she ADORED muggle musicals

her and Dorcas met in a Care of Magical Creatures class in third year and immediately became best friends

Evan Rosier

really homophobic outwardly but was in the closet (for a HOT minute)

flirted with girls constantly

super protective over Pandora and Dorcas

had the worst penmanship and Regulus and Barty both refused to help him with homework because of it

managed to be the only Slytherin who sucked at potions

Barty Crouch Jr.

gay little lad with gay handwriting

LOVED cats. this man was the BIGGEST cat lover I do not care im right ur wrong. absolutely adored them

had a little sister who he was really protective over, she was in Hufflepuff and died during her 4th year which is what made him follow Regulus into joining up w the Death Eaters

daddy and mummy issues for days. bro never had a civil conversation w them

he absolutely beloathed Walburga and Orion Black when he found out what they did to Regulus, but obviously never said anything about it

[my-castles-crumbling]

Chapter 9- Clandestine

Guys, I've discovered Lana Del Ray. So if this chapter is a bit emotional, blame her. Okay, CW: LOTS of dysphoria, as well as a lot of discussions about binding, safe binding, and depictions of unsafe binding. Blink-and-you-miss-it misgendering. Some quick medical stuff. Anxiety, depression. Hints at self-harm, but not really.

Second year was not much different from first, if Regulus was honest. Rooming with Barty and Evan. Walks with Sirius.

He didn’t feel older. Classes weren’t much harder. He enjoyed being back. He felt safe.

But he struggled in some ways. Namely, with his body, which still insisted on betraying him daily.

Being in a room with Barty and Evan was wonderful in many ways. It was a reminder that he was considered a boy, here. That people looked at him and saw a boy. That he fit in with the other boys.

Bit it also made him ache, in a way that was difficult to describe. He watched Barty and Evan continue to change in the open room as he shed his clothes in the safety of the bathroom. He stared in the mirror for far too long, changing into shirt after shirt, wondering if he could actually see a small curve on his chest, or if it was his brain playing tricks on him.

Sometimes he had to sit on his hands to resist the urge to claw at his very skin. It wasn't that he wanted to hurt himself. It was just that his body kept changing, kept getting worse, and he sometimes felt the primal urge to just–

Sirius and Pandora and Dorcas were so well-meaning. They listened to him rant and rage and scream. They helped him on days when he just felt wrong, like a square peg in a round hole. They comforted him.

He’d taken to hiding the rock Potter had given him for his birthday in his pocket. When he got anxious or particularly nauseous when looking in the mirror, it helped to worry it in his hands. Flip it over and over. Feel the smooth surface. It was calming, somehow. It allowed him to focus on something else, anything else, besides the way his body didn’t fit.

He slept in the bandages almost every night. He knew it was bad for him. He felt the way his chest bruised and his back ached and the rashes and scratches burned. But he found that he needed it. He felt so invalid, like he wasn’t truly a boy without them. If he thought too much about it, he found himself close to tears- why did he have to go through this just to achieve the same feeling most people naturally had?

But he pushed that resentment down, and just re-tightened the bandages daily, forcing himself not to think about it too much.

It could be worse, after all.

--

“Did you hear?” Evan asked, one October evening as the three of them lay lazily in bed avoiding homework.

“That you’re a prat? Yes,” Barty replied lazily, dodging the pillow that Evan threw.

Regulus snorted.

“No, that Potter is replacing DeSilva this year on Gryffindor,” Evan clarified, scoffing a bit.

It had been a huge topic of conversation amongst anyone who followed the Quidditch games- Gryffindor had always been alright, but their Chasers had been lacking. A good Chaser would make them a problem, especially to Slytheirn, whose Keeper was shit. People had wondered why DeSilva hadn’t been kicked off in previous years, but Gryffindors were too nice, and had the policy that once you got a position, you kept it, as long as you didn’t do something morally wrong.

Of course, Regulus had watched Potter play. So, he knew they were a bit screwed, now.

So, why was he excited at the news?

“Potter’s not bad,” he commented, trying to keep his voice even.

“We’re fucked. Between Flint and Goyle, there’s no way,” Barty grumbled.

“Flint’s gotten better at covering the right hoop,” Evan said reasonably. “Too bad Goyle’s captain, or they could kick him off. He’s such shit. But I heard his daddy bought the whole team new brooms, so we’re stuck with him until he graduates.”

Barty grunted in frustration. “Maybe he’d catch the snitch if we charm it to make whistling noises. Always thought he followed Crabbe around like a puppy.”

“Next year, he’ll graduate and Reg will be Seeker. Then, we’ll stand a chance,” Evan shrugged. “Until then, I’m betting on Ravenclaw. Pandora says their Seeker is decent.”

Regulus nodded vacantly, reaching into his pocket to turn the rock over and over.

Privately, he was betting on Gryffindor.

--

Pain.

All he felt was pain.

Crawling up and down his ribs, punching at his back, stabbing at his chest.

It was jarring. Scary. Terrifying.

It hurt to move, hurt to moan, hurt to breathe.

He’d never woken up to pain like this.

He needed help, and he knew it. But his entire being shied away from waking Barty and Evan. He didn’t want to bother them (both were not ones to be awoken before absolutely necessary) and he was terrified they’d ask to see or touch where it hurt.

But as he tried desperately to sit up only to fall back in a groan of agony, his gulps of air causing shooting aches, he knew there was nothing for it.

“Help,” he croaked, even the movement of his talking searing his entire torso.

He had to call twice more before Evan’s grumpy-but-concerned face stuck through the curtains. He immediately went pale. “Reg? What- what’s wrong?”

But he was starting to feel faint. He couldn’t escape the pain, and he was starting to feel almost claustrophobic with it. Like he could either breathe and hurt or hurt less and have no oxygen. There was no way out.

His head spun. He tried desperately to stay conscious. He couldn’t let them see. What if they saw?

The last thing he remembered before passing out was Evan yelling for Barty.

--

“You fucking idiot.”

He opened his eyes to sunshine and mumbles and his chest feeling far too exposed and empty, even with the blanket covering him. The bandages were gone. “That’s my line to you,” he sleepily shot back to his brother, blinking, trying to get Sirius’s face into focus.

“Not when you break your own ribs,” Sirius said roughly. Admittedly, Sirius looked like he was the one who should be in the hospital bed. He looked like he hadn’t slept in days, and the deep circles under his eyes made him look almost skeletal. His hands, which had wrapped themselves around Regulus’s forearm, all had fingernails that were bitten down raw. He looked distraught. “I gave you that fucking bandage to help you, Regulus. How tight–?”

“It’s not your fault, idiot,” He murmured, looking down. Perhaps he had been keeping the bandage a bit too tight.

“I didn’t know,” Sirius whispered, looking like he was trying to convince both of them of the fact. “I had no idea that- that this could happen.”

Regulus chuckled, ignoring the small twinge in his healed chest. “Same. I suppose Pomfrey is pissed?”

“I convinced her not to owl mother,” Sirius shrugged. He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “You…erm…might have to lay off the bandage for a while. Pomfrey said something about permanent damage to your back. If you….y’know…keep it up as much as you have.”

Remulus blinked, trying and failing to fight against the despair creeping into his brain as the tears formed. “So…so….” he mumbled, unsure about how to put his thoughts into words.

“Maybe…only a few hours a day? Or…a bit looser?” Sirius suggested hesitantly.

Regulus balked, feeling the anger and fear and disgust all bubble within him, his self-control wavering. “And then what, Sirius? How do I explain to Barty and Evan that I’ve suddenly got tits?”

He felt the nausea build within his stomach and he almost choked, picturing for just a moment having to walk around with an unbound chest. Picturing the looks. The reactions. The disgust.

“You…you don’t have…” Sirius argued weakly, looking as if he truly had no idea what to say.

“I do! I do, and there isn’t a thing I can do about it, because our parents will never let me take the potion. So I’m stuck like this until I turn seventeen!” Regulus said loudly, allowing some of his carefully-controlled anger to boil over. “And you tell me, how many people in Hogwarts would honestly be okay rooming with me, knowing that? Who thinks that’s normal?” Sirius sighed, looking helpless.

“You are normal, Reg. There’s nothing about you that’s–that’s bad or wrong.”

“Tell that to our parents,” Regulus spat, turning away from Sirius a bit. “Tell that to my body.”

Sirius inhaled a bit. “Just….just promise me you’ll keep it a bit looser, okay? I can’t…I can’t bear it if something were to happen to you.”

The genuinely terrified look on his face was what broke Regulus from his anger. He deflated, allowing the defensiveness to flow out of him. “Alright,” he murmured, allowing Sirius to pull him into a hug. “That hurts, you prat,” he whispered as Sirius squeezed him tightly.

But when Sirius made to let go, he felt sad, as if he wished his brother hadn’t let go.

--

Regulus stayed in the Hospital overnight that night. Something about 'making sure his blood vessels were okay', or whatever.

His friends visited, and he reassured them that he had been out the night before practicing Quidditch (true) and he must have hurt himself during a particularly crazy dive (false). Barty and Evan seemed to buy it, but Dorcas and Pandora gave him maddeningly disbelieving looks throughout their visit.

It was a different visitor, though, that made him much more nervous.

Remus Lupin entered the Hospital Wing late the second night, definitely after curfew, and certainly after Pomfrey had gone to bed. He made Regulus emit a small yelp of shock when he showed up, as he hadn’t been expecting the taller boy to show up at all, let alone at such an hour.

“It’s just me, sorry,” Remus muttered, as if he often visited Regulus at midnight in the Hospital Wing. “Sorry, it’s just arrived, or I would’ve been sooner,” he continued vaguely, waving a small package around.

Regulus eyed it curiously.

“I….I need to tell you something,” Remus continued, sitting gently on Regulus’s bed. Regulus pulled the covers over his chest more securely, a bit nervous about how close someone else was while he was so….exposed.

“Go on,” he nodded, wondering what was so important that Remus had to sneak into the Hospital in the dead of night. “Has Sirius done something stupid?”

Remus snorted. “No…Sirius wanted to tell you himself, but…” Remus trailed off, and Regulus momentarily worried Sirius had gone and gotten hurt or something, but then Remus met his eyes. “I was there. Last night when they brought you in.”

Regulus felt his heart sink. He’d been so nervous that Barty and Evan would have seen too much when he was brought in. He hadn’t even thought about another student being there already.

“I…I came in at around 4:30…with a migraine,” Remus murmured.

He really did get a lot of migraines, Regulus thought briefly.

“Sirius came with me. So…we were already there. When you came in.” Remus looked a bit awkward as he spoke. As if he wasn’t sure how much to reveal. “They made your friends wait outside. But Sirius refused. And I was…well, I couldn’t leave.” He looked apologetic, now. “They….they healed you. And then…Sirius got very upset, and…well, you should know he did everything possible to protect you. He argued with Pomfrey and Slughorn for a good ten minutes about contacting your parents. He won, in the end. Well, you know how stubborn he is.” Remus shrugged a bit awkwardly.

Regulus waited quietly for the other shoe to drop. He had a sinking feeling, from how Remus was speaking and acting, that there was more to it.

“You should know, Regulus…I’d already guessed. Before last night,” Remus finally sighed, meeting Regulus’s gaze.

His heart sank. He’d guessed? He’d known?

“How?” he whispered. If Sirius had told, he would…he didn’t know how…

“Sirius talked about you, in our first year,” Remus shrugged. “He mentioned…well, he mentioned a sister.”

Both Remus and Regulus winced at that.

“And then he came back from Christmas and he insisted that he’d only ever had a brother. I’m guessing that’s when you…?” Remus asked gently, raising his eyebrows a bit.

Regulus nodded.

“Yeah, so…I tried to ask, but he didn’t seem to be willing to talk about it and…dunno, it’s not my business, is it? So I figured I'd let it go,” Remus shrugged. As if it was the simplest assumption in the world. That it wasn’t his business, so he should just let it be.

Regulus was again overwhelmed by the feeling of thankfulness for Remus Lupin. He was so unassuming…so kind. He’d known (or guessed) for years and had said nothing. Because he’d guessed, rightfully, that Regulus would be uncomfortable with it.

“But it’s my business now, Regulus, because Sirius is going a bit spare,” Remus said a bit louder, looking stressed. “He said…I mean, feel free to tell me to fuck off, but…he said you’re using a bandage for your…?” he used his hand to gesture to his own chest.

Regulus nodded, looking down. “There’s a potion,” he found himself volunteering, strangely comfortable talking about it with Remus. “But I can’t take it. Mother and Father…they’d probably rather I was dead,” he chuckled humorlessly. “Barty and Evan don’t know and….I don’t…they can’t. So this is what I have.”

Remus studied him for a moment, then handed him a package. “You know there are people like you in the Muggle world too, right? My mum’s Muggle, so I was raised in both.”

He shrugged. He’d never really thought about it. “I guess…sure.”

“Well…what do you think they do? Surely they can’t take a potion,” Remus said patiently, like a Professor trying to talk a student through a difficult question.

“They cry?” Regulus volunteered, snorting at his own humor.

Remus smiled a bit. “Well, probably. But also, they have other options.”

“Like?” Regulus asked, feeling a strange bubble of hope in his chest.

“Well, some of them take medicine. It’s like potions for Muggles,” Remus shrugged. “Some of them just….cut things off.”

“What?” Regulus yelped loudly.

They both realized his mistake and whipped their heads around to Pomfrey’s door, but they heard no stirring.

“You’re fucking with me, surely,” he mumbled a bit quieter. How on Earth did Muggles actually survive without accidentally killing themselves?

“Nah,” Remus grinned. “I have a….cousin, I think? She told me about it.”

Regulus gaped for a minute before looking down at the package. “So, what’s in here? A knife? Gonna help me chop off my–”

Remus scoffed. “Sirius would kill me. Plus, Muggles have professionals that do that. No, she also told me about those,” he said, gesturing to the package. “I wrote her for one this morning. Said it was for a friend.” He shrugged.

Even more confused, Regulus ripped open the package to find–

“Is this a fucking bra?” he asked, barely controlling his embarrassment and anger. He almost threw the offending garment across the room in disgust.

“What? No!” Remus said, shaking his head vehemently.

It…looked like a strange mix of a tank top and a sports bra. But, it was missing some of the things Regulus remembered from seeing his mother’s bras. There were no cups, no small hooks, no lace or femininity. Instead, there was just a zipper on each side. And it was…less stretchy? The material had give, but it was a firmer stretch. Like it wasn’t meant to give much leeway.

“It’s a binder,” Remus shrugged. “Muggles use them. They kind of….” he gestured to his own chest again, “suck it all in.”

Regulus stared at the fabric for a few moments. “There are things that are meant for that?” he asked, though it was more out of wonder. Clearly, there were.

“Yeah, so…this is better than what you were using before because it’s meant for that purpose. And these zippers here,” Remus pointed at the two zippers on each side, “loosen it when you need a break. So you don’t end up back here.”

Regulus laughed, half-shocked and half-ecstatic. “Why did you do this for me?”

Remus gave him a weird look again. “Well….first, Sirius has been driving himself crazy. All he wants to do is to help you. To make sure you’re happy. And safe.”

Regulus felt a pang of guilt at that.

“But also….” Remus continued, looking emotional, himself, now. “I…secrets….secrets are hard. And I can…I can…well, I can imagine what it might feel like. To have a secret that you’re so…so scared about people finding out. But it’s…it’s a part of you, and you can’t change it.”

He looked so genuine. So empathetic. So understanding. Regulus swallowed thickly, trying not to let any tears fall.

Remus sighed, “It’s hard, erm, I imagine…when you have a secret like that. And if you can find something that helps…people who support you…I would think that would make it…so much easier. Right?”

There was emotion there. Raw and real, and Regulus had a feeling Remus had his own experiences with secrets. But he was so thankful to have Remus accept him and help him with his own that he decided not to push. For now.

--

Guys I can't with this chapter. Remus is just so amazing and we love him. Read the full WIP or leave comments or kudos here!

[veryinnovative]

Dude, CEO Jegulus. Like the Mcdonald’s date, James ordering Reg a Happy Meal with chicken nuggets and he’s like tf is this??? “You get a toy Regulus!!!”, and James finding his stash of romance novels, and then planning some cute ass dates. And when he stays over he’d get him some silly pajamas. Like Reg he’d just be so cute!! But then like at work James sees him in Work.Mode. Like just eviscerating someone cause they did something stupid, and James is like, wow ( and probs getting a bit flustered). ((also competency kink??)) Like there’s a reason he’s so scary to other people. But then also Reg getting James a fancy suit so they can have a fancy date, Barty pickering them up in a limo, like a whole restaurant booked out, expensive wine, the whole thing. But also like maybe?? Reg protecting James from sketchy people, like looking down on him and being unnecessarily rude cause he’s ‘just an assistant’, but then like eats them alive. LIKE THIS IS EVERYTHING!!! Sorry is this is a lot, BUT THIS SLAYSS, like the dynamic is so good.

ANON YOU GET IT!!!! literally all of these have been discussed before and make an appearance in the fic! like james gets reg all these tiny things that barely cost a cent and in reg's big mansion of old money, james' little gift are the most priceless items. james puts the toy together for him and it's something so stupid like a hello kitty figurine and reg clutches onto it during his sleep.

james gets them matching pyjama sets for cheap (because he is a bulk sales person and couponer and if smth can be bartered for he WILL do it) and they wear it in james' crammed apartment and in his small bed that creaks way too much especially at night when they're getting handsy oops!

and james is definitely looked down at a lot in the offices and he can hold his own but reg is just.. Regulus and he flays people alive for even looking at james the wrong way. will fire an entire fucking department for gossiping about him and his 'cheap' clothes and how he takes public transport to work (james doesn't give a fuck. really. he will maintain eye contact while eating his meal prepped beef and noodles thank you very much).

james just isnt about that expensive life. this au is also for me to experiment with like a james that isn't rich when it comes to money but very rich when it comes to immaterial things! experiences. dynamics. love. the tiny things in life! he doesn't want grand gestures and doesn't want to be a sugar baby and will get mad when reg splurges on things bc _We don't need that_ and _I'm just fine looking after myself thank you_ and tbh I think the potter family is still well off but james wants to accomplish things on his own and is quite content living a modest life that's not wealth focussed!

like they have a date or some anniversary coming up and reg forgets bc he goes to a meeting instead and just leaves a quick message and buys james smth expensive as apology and james is absolutely not having it. absolutely ruins the thing he received, sends it back with a note 'My house. 11 p.m. Do not go to your meeting.' and angry fucks reg when he arrives bc ofc he didn't go to the meeting after seeing the note <3

[rosekiller-addict]

Snowed In

heyyy so I decided I should do a microfic until Christmas kinda thing (shhh I know I'm late but its fineee) so heres my little rosekiller microfic to start it off!!

also, idea taken from @theprongspotter

------------------------------------------

Evan and Barty had gotten themselves a cabin to stay in for a few days before the holidays so they could get away from their friends and there signifigant others.

And it was that same cabin that they happened to be trapped in, the snow and ice making the doors and windows un-openable.

"What if they think we forgot about them?" Barty asked as he paced around the room, "what if they hate us now?"

"Barty," Evan said slowly, "they'll understand. We have the weather channels for reasons."

"But what if-"

"Barty," Evan repeated, his voice sterner this time, as he started to walk towards me, "its going to be okay."

"I-"

"Come on, come sit down,"

Evan took Barty's hand pulling him towards the couch. Barty sat down, tucking his knees into his chest as he bit down on his lip.

Barty didn't understand why he was so nervous. He knew that his friends cared about him and would understand but he was also terrified that they would hate him even if he did one small thing wrong.

"I'm going to make you hot chocolate okay?" Evan told him, throwing a blanket in his direction.

"Thanks," the brunette laughed, sinking into the blanket.

Evan wandered off into the direction of the kitchen, while Barty stayed on the couch, staring out the window as he tried to think of anything other than his racing heart.

Barty wasn't necessarily scared of being alone with Evan. They had been best friends for years and could sit together in comfortable silence for hours.

No, Barty was scared of what he would do alone with Evan. Barty had realized how in love he was with Evan a few months ago and a confession seemed to be ready to jump out of his mouth at any moment.

But Barty was also convinced he was alone in his feelings. It didn't make sense for Evan to like him back. For one Evan was straight. And even if he wasn't (which was basically impossible), there were so many people in their school that would be a better partner than Barty.

No matter how much as Barty lied to himself and others about it, he knew he wasn't as handsome or smart as the other kids in his school.

Frankly, Barty's whole life revolved around spiteing his father and who wanted to be with a boy like that?

"Here,"

Barty jumped slightly, seeing Evan standing in front of me, holding a mug out towards me.

"Thanks," Barty whispered, taking the mug from him.

Evan sat down next to him, another mug in his hand.

"We should just try to enjoy this," Evan nodded, placing his mug on the end table.

The brown eyed boy just nodded in response.

"Are you okay Barty?"

"I'm fine,"

"Liar,"

Barty laughed slightly, shaking his head.

"can I tell you something Ev?" he whispered, glancing over at the taller boy. He took in the bright blonde hair, the crystal blue eyes, the freckled skin. The perfection of everything about him.

"Of course," Evan shrugged, resting his cheek in his palm.

"I'm in love with you,"

The words came out stronger and louder than Barty intended. More sure than Barty ever was in anything.

But this was the one thing Barty was sure about. He knew he was in love with Evan, even if that was the only thing he was sure he knew.

"Can I tell you something too?" Evan asked.

"Sure," the shorter boy nodded.

"I'm in love with you too,"

The words hit Barty like a brick wall. When he confessed, he hadn't been thinking. It was something he had to say because if he didn't, he thought he might die right there.

But when he said the words, he never thought that Evan would say them back.

But here they were.

"Can I kiss you?" Evan asked, breaking through Barty's thoughts.

The other boy couldn't seem to bring himself to speak so he just nodded softly, closing his eyes as Evan's lips met his.

Barty's arms wrapped his arms around Evans neck, kissing him like the world was ending. The blonde boys arms wrapped around his back, pushing him down on the couch.

"I definitally love you," Evan mumbled, smiling down at the other boy.

"Me to,"

And then Barty couldn't've been happier for being snowed in.

[findingtomarrymort]

LOST FICS

Hello! Can you help me find a fic. It's a tomarry fic based on a Tumblr prompt. Harry accidentally summons a demon while he was making a sandwich. Harry offers the sandwich to the demon later demons start hanging out at his place and are very polite too later angels start investigating about increase in demonic presence and they too like his sandwiches so the angels and demons had a tentative truce when they are at Harry's place. It is a tomarry fic.

Hi thank you for doing God's work. There is a Harrymort fic where Harry got in contact by letters that later turned to journals with his soulmate who turned out to be Voldemort. But neither knew each other's true identity. Voldemort even gave his gringotta key to Harry via Barty. The time line is when Harry is in fourth year and LV is still toddlermort and the goblet of fire conspiracy is fully going on. Also, LV teaches Harry about branches of divination. I think it was in ao3…? Incomplete and left me heartbroken.

Hello, I hope either you or your followers may be able to help; Time: Goblet of Fire; Setting: Graveyard. In which there is a divergence from canon happenings due to something (I don't rly remember). Cedric survives but is unconscious and I believe Voldemort removes Harry's Memories of his resurrection (or Harry remembers, but doesn't reveal this information for some reason). The writing style was pretty distinct. It is possible that there was more than a single chapter, but it wasn't a whole text per se. It was small drabbles or snippets which were divided by * or _. I think the story started with something along the way of "it goes something like this". It is highly possible that it was a soulmate au, but I am unsure.

There was a fic on fanfiction.net that I read 2 years ago. The war was over and everyone was returning to Hogwarts for its 8th year and young Tom Riddle was accidentally(?) sent into the future. The first time Harry saw him was reading a book under the tree. Tom was kissing a girl in the chamber of secrets with imperio. There is a very good dynamic between him and Harry, I think it should be something like 60k or 70k I've been looking for this story for days but I can't find it please help.

Hello, can you please help me find a fic, I don’t know the name or the author, also I checked all my favorite tags on ao3 and couldn’t find it, I’m unsure if it is a slash or mentor fic but I think it’s slash, I will write all I remember, Harry goes to injured Voldemort after the resurrection “I think because of his scar pain” he find him alone with only nagini “I think she says the rat abandoned them”, Voldemort life in a slytherin manor or castle, Harry take of him fallowing nagini instructions but not talking to her, Voldemort has a tail I think, Harry stay, he hides he’s face and get a mask, he sleeps in the room next to Voldemort,he search voldy office & find a peverell book and a dagger he take them, he finds a Ritual and resurrect barty, a building has something to do with death appears, voldy and barty know he’s the one who did the ritual but Harry think they don’t, there’s no house elf, Harry the one who cooks barty can’t cook, I know there is similar points to “in willing sacrifice “ but it’s a different fic please help. Thank you.

[birlwrites]

Alack and alas, I have no knowledge of horror myself let alone gothic horror. I've been thoroughly recommended The Magnus Archives and Welcome To Nightvale (a hybrid podcast and book set up I think?) by a friend whose taste I trust well enough which are horror but uh no clue about the subgenre.

I can however offer elemental discussion adjacent to your (Harry Potter) Regulus Black fanfictions based on your one line: "fire just dies" and this post about Barty if Regulus dies: (nevermind searching is taking me too long).

"fire just dies"... when not sustained by something external! Therefore Barty fits it spectacularly! Regulus gets to be some kind of Hestia equivalent feeding Barty continual logs of affection and needing things of Barty. Evan in general gets to be magic fire dust which only influences or changes the colour of the flames for a little bit but doesn't sustain them (perhaps the occasional thrown wad of balled-up newspaper as Evan won't shut up about passing on Interesting Stories). Barty's mother gets to be the chimney (stopping him from dying of building paternal-smoke inhalation), the stone hearth stopping him from burning himself/his own house down when the fire is controlled and sometimes gives long-lasting lumps of coal but not enough to keep a whole fireplace going. Barty Senior gets to be both gasoline and fire lighter as a motivation, pushing Barty to burn out but blaze bright and fast in response as he does so. Other friends occasionally throw handfuls of twigs/branches/flammable materials at Barty but not consistently really.

Voldemort with Death Eater Barty (hopefully not lachrimae future Barty) simply gestures to a pyre bonfire labelled "Demonstrate Your Faith In The Cause! The Party Never Ends!" that Barty subsequently throws himself onto draws great destructive direction from finding suitable Guy Fawkes Substitutes to throw onto (muggleborns, blood traitors, traitors to the cause, loyal ministry members, his own father... etc).

Hopefully, the metaphor isn't too far removed from the style of Barty's pre-approved Cyprian Silkwood's style. But so long as it hits vaguely adjacent to being entertaining.

i've been recommended the magnus archives as well, with the fascinating addendum of "i've never thought about worms the same way ever again." i feel like i'm going to end up listening to it and then sending terrified messages to the person who recommended it to me

they really are regulus black fanfictions afjskhgjkfd as evidenced by the fact that i named barty's mom 'harriet' fully forgetting the series is about a guy named harry. normally i try to avoid super similar names like that unless it's for Plot Reasons but in this case i just. did not recall

THE METAPHOR ABSOLUTELY HITS. associating barty with fire appeals to me because of the, like... dual-purpose of it as a weapon, a tool, and a destructive force. he needs constant fuel and room to maneuver - he can't be smothered and he needs something to motivate him to keep going, and i LOVE your comparison of crouch sr to gasoline and a fire lighter YES ABSOLUTELY

i'd say voldemort is also gasoline in his own way (not in lachrimae you will be pleased to know, barty's actually one of the characters who has a Less Bad Time in lachrimae!!), but he's judicious in how he uses it. less dumping a ton of gasoline on the fire and more a steady drip. he doesn't want barty to go out too early, but he's fine with barty self destructing as long as it's in a useful way

and regulus connected with the earth element is also fun because i think he really is like the earth in a way - kind of [literally] overlooked/stepped on until he decides to become a Problem. he's always there, he doesn't disappear, he's so reliable that you don't notice him, and whoops you weren't paying attention to the Danger and now you've died in a mudslide