#Finding out about these kind of thoughts about people not being the norm was a fucking ride tbh.

[system-splintered]

This might be a surprise but I often don't see most people as equal to me. Not that they aren't people, more that I and the person/people I value are something greater, as the definition of something is defined by the majority of what that thing is, so the majority of people being basically, well, moronic animals, it's a feature of humanity. A select few, my partner, sometimes a few others irl, and some people I know from here and discord, I see as more than that, but most people are just... An obstacle, or a tool, to me. I try not to let that affect how I treat people but that's often difficult for me. I'm nice, even charming on occasion, to most people I meet, particularly when certain parts are in front, or I see the person I'm meeting as potentially useful as an ally, but it's not because I feel like they deserve the kind of respect I maintain for people I truly care about from me. It's because people are nicer to you if you're nice first. Even if it's "fake" nice, as long as you don't tell anyone (that's two-faced, also a crime in the eyes of egotypicals) they genuinely don't seem to notice that it's all an act.

I think most people deserve the maintenance of this veneer of respect, as not doing so is typically offensive, but genuine respect is vulnerability, and I only show my belly to those I both see as my equal, and whom I trust not to bite and tear at my softness.

Sometimes someone will be in this group of equals in my eyes, and they say or do something I resent, and a switch flips in my brain, and I just don't give a fuck about them anymore.

It worries me that one day, my partner is gonna be one of them. So far, she's my longest lasting exception to the rule of generally not liking or respecting or showing vulnerability to anyone.

She's also the only one genuinely in the position of having earned my complete respect and admiration. For everyone else, it's been temporary and negotiable, able to be lost and at its root, incomplete. For her it's been nearly eight years, and a lot of mistakes, and it still hasn't gone away, but every time my symptoms flare and the group of people I see as even worth giving the time of day shrinks, my concern grows that the only person I've ever truly loved unconditionally, will turn out to have some conditions after all.

She's the only one I care about the opinion of. And she knows how I feel about most of humanity and agrees with me.

I think we both may have ASPD.

[sflow-er]

So many thoughts on the fabulous Barbie film, but especially on how anyone who thinks it’s “hateful towards men” clearly isn’t getting the message.

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT

[Credit for both gifs goes to their makers!!]

I mean... Ken’s arc is secondary to Barbie’s, and rightly so. This is her film, and her message deserves to be the main takeaway.

That being said, I just find it really sad that the people who could’ve definitely used the point of Ken’s arc just let it go right over their heads. Maybe it’s because they aren’t great at reading subtext, or because they just balk at anything presented as feminist, I don’t know.

Because to me, Ken’s arc is about as far from “hateful towards men” as you can get. It’s a multi-layered depiction of how restrictive, outdated views of masculinity can hold men back and make them susceptible to harmful ideologies that promise easy solutions for all their problems but only make those problems worse and hurt others around them.

The first layer is an allegory for real men don’t show their feelings. In the movie, this is represented by Ken’s need to look tough and cool all the time, and to keep his insecurities and sadness bottled up. Barbieland is a utopia where being happy is a social norm, and the main Barbie also starts to struggle with that. The difference is that she eventually tells her friends, and they all support her. Ken just puts pressure on himself not to look weak - in front of Barbie, or in front of the other Kens.

Which brings us to the second level: a competitive and inherently hostile view of the other Kens, aka. toxic male relationships. Some of them are friends, and all of them work together for a while to build the Patriarchy, but they don’t actually bond for real. Even their boys’ nights are mainly about getting back at the Barbies for all their girls’ nights (which really were about bonding). When push comes to shove, the Kens still see each other as competition, which is one of the reasons why the Barbies are able to play them against each other.

Another reason is the third layer: the idea that Ken only has value if Barbie loves and admires him. It starts out as unrequited love that makes you feel sorry for him...until he turns bitter. He basically starts on the path that could lead him down the incel/mra rabbit hole and into a mindset where Barbie owes him love and admiration and the relationship he wants in exchange for his devotion to her. He decides that everything would be better if Barbies were subservient to Kens, but of course that’s not true. None of the Barbies’ newfound admiration for their Kens is real, and his own Barbie still rejects him.

All this is of course underpinned by the final layer, which is Ken’s lack of self-respect and sense of purpose. He’s got a pointless job, he’s not particularly qualified for anything, and he just feels kind of lost in Barbieland - a society run by successful Barbies who are living up to their full potential. That’s why he gets so caught up in the idea of the Patriarchy, which is supposed to make him successful, get others to respect him, and give him a sense of purpose. (This can be generalised to all kinds of harmful ideologies in the real world, e.g. the alt-right movement.)

However, the success he achieves is superficial and not based on any real passion; he even admits that he wasn’t happy in his new position and already lost interest in the ideology. The (forced) respect of others does feel good for a while, but it only goes so far. At heart, the whole thing is still mostly about his feelings of inferiority and unrequited love for Barbie, and instituting this harmful new system did not resolve those for him.

So what does? In essence, breaking out of all these harmful patterns and internalising the idea that he is enough.

He ends up reflecting on his feelings, finally puts them to words (or rather, song and dance), and manages to connect with the other Kens through those feelings. He even cries in relief and acknowledges that it doesn’t make him weak. He and Barbie finally have a proper talk, he lets go of their (non-)relationship, and he listens when she says he needs to figure out his real self. He starts to see himself not through his job, his girlfriend, or even his competition with the other Kens, but as just Ken, who is enough.

I honestly can’t think of a less hateful message to send men and boys.

[naughtyjjk]

being seduced by stripper gojo

characters: gojo x fem reader warnings: 18+, smut, stripper, strip club, pole dancing, revealing outfits, lap dance, strip tease, dirty talk, dry humping

you have no idea what compelled you to come here, but there’s no denying that you’ve been stressed lately, and you need to let loose, at least for one night. the atmosphere is nice—all cool toned colours and dim lighting and music loud enough to drown out any thoughts of doubt you might have about spending the late evening hours at a strip club of all places. the most highly rated strip club, in fact, with the hottest men around. there’s bound to be someone who’s your type. or so you’ve been told.

these places are designed to be inviting, you know. but that doesn’t mean you’re immune to their tactics, enticing viewers into a world of sin. everywhere you look, there are attractive bodies flaunting around the room, guys with flirty smiles and skin showing and downright scandalous outfits, all giving you more attention than you’d normally get anywhere else.

admittedly, you’re already kind of turned on just from being in the midst of all this. maybe that makes you an easy target. maybe you don’t care. walking around, you let yourself enjoy everything there is to offer, and it doesn’t take much to learn that you’ve arrived just in time for something exciting that’s about to happen.

tonight, there seems to be only one topic of conversation: gojo satoru, one of the most highly requested dancers, is going to make an appearance. from what you’ve gathered so far, he’s supposedly very good at his job, and many people have been anticipating his show this whole week. and it’s scheduled to start in only a few minutes.

finding a seat for yourself, you join the crowd in waiting for the upcoming performance. because you’re curious now. all of the workers here have been extremely good-looking and know how to flirt with the audience, using their bodies to their advantage. what is it that sets satoru apart from the rest?

thankfully, you don’t have to wait long because the person who steps onto the stage next can only be satoru, given the cheers that immediately erupt into the air as soon as he walks into view. seeing him now, you can understand right away why he has such a well-known reputation among the regular patrons here.

satoru enters the stage wearing very little, which seems to be the norm among the dancers. there’s a black choker around his neck. his entire upper body is fully exposed, save for the two thick bands of suspenders that run down his chest, conveniently covering his nipples. lower, a pair of tight, tight underwear hangs off his hips, barely functioning to hide anything.

beside you, you hear people saying, holy fuck, he’s hot, and yeah. you wholeheartedly agree. if you’re being honest, satoru looks like someone who has stepped right out of your personal wet dream, someone you’re definitely going to dream about again in the future.

the music for his routine starts, a filthy beat that echoes deep in your bones. satoru begins to move, swaying his hips to the rhythm as he walks toward the audience, touching himself all over. feeling himself slowly, sensually. his hands run down his neck, fingers sprayed out as they drift down to his chest and stomach before finally stopping at his crotch.

he’s confident, smile so fucking cocky but undeniably hot at the same time. he knows he’s good. he’s got the audience right where he wants them as soon as he stepped out. there are dozens of people watching, but it feels like he’s looking straight at you when he swipes his tongue across his lips, biting down on the bottom lip suggestively.

and—oh. oh god. you squeeze your legs together, arousal shooting straight to your pussy. it’s getting increasingly uncomfortable to sit there, heat rushing south, as you anticipate what’s coming next.

but you can’t look away, either. satoru is now spreading his legs farther apart, thrusting his hips into nothing, but it’s somehow absolutely mesmerizing. he works his body with experience, in smooth rolls that show off all his muscles as they flex and contract. one hand runs through his hair while he looks out at the crowd with darkened eyes, and the other cups between his legs, teasing both himself and the viewers.

it riles up the audience, riles you up, because when satoru finally removes that hand, it becomes obvious that he’s at least half hard.

he walks over to the pole in the middle of the stage and hooks a leg around it, pressing his erection against the metal to grind against it a few times, seemingly getting himself off. his eyes are hooded, lips parted. it’s a display of rehearsed seduction and it fucking works because you’re fully captivated, eyes fixated solely on him.

eventually, satoru spins and turns around so that his back is against the pole. he sinks down in one fluid movement, knees spreading wide, leaning forward so that his back is arched as he raises his ass higher. every action he makes draws attention, the arousal tangible and thick in the air. when he shakes his hips, you can’t help but feel wetness gushing out of your pussy, wishing you were there in the place of the pole. wishing you could feel those sinful, gyrating hips touching you instead.

as the dance continues, you don’t know how much time passes. it could be only a few minutes or hours that you sit there, and all you’re capable of doing in the moment is follow satoru’s every movement, engraining the scene in front of you into your mind forever.

turning back around, satoru winks in your direction—you can’t be sure if it’s at you or someone beside you—but your body stills anyway, pussy aching with desire. you watch as satoru makes one final spin around the pole, slow enough to show off all angles of himself, before he drops to the ground again, hips thrusting out.

the routine ends with satoru basking in the cheers of the audience and you breathing heavily in your seat, so fucking turned on.

.

normally, this is when you would leave, but you still haven’t recovered from that performance, so you sit there a while longer. hoping that you’ll come back to your senses soon.

the music changes and other dancers fill the stage, but you’re not paying attention to any of that anymore. you gaze follows satoru as he disappears behind the left wing and reappears descending down the steps that lead to the main floor, where a group of his fans wait to greet him. they chat for a while and then satoru turns his head and somehow, through the crowd of people between the two of you, locks eyes directly with you.

satoru says a farewell to the group, something that has them squealing, and makes his way across the room, walking with purpose in your direction. not a second later, you find him right in front of you, the sudden proximity enough to make your whole body heat up.

glancing down at you, satoru says, “hey there, pretty girl.”

“um,” you reply intelligently. you blink and take a look around to make sure that he’s actually talking to you. “hi.”

running a hand down his chest, satoru sways his body lightly to the music and somehow manages to make it look natural. “did you enjoy the show?”

you nod, mouth suddenly dry. you’re still processing the fact that satoru is here, so close, talking to you. flirting and clearly interested in you, for whatever reason. it’s unexpected, but you’re definitely not complaining. “yeah, it was—good. you’re good.”

“just good?”

“no, i mean—” you pause, then blurt out, “you’re hot.”

a slow smile stretches across satoru’s face at that, and he takes a step forward, inviting himself onto your lap. his hips are lifted just enough that he’s not actually in contact, body making slow, lazy rolls. teasing. “what’s your name?”

you tell him, stammering, pulse beating a mile per minute. he’s so fucking close to you. he’s so sexy that you can hardly form a coherent sentence. choking back a moan, your hands grip the edge of your seat to refrain from doing something that you’ll regret later.

a series of increasingly filthy thoughts run through your head and in that moment, all you can think about is how you want to rip off satoru’s clothes, what he would look like fully naked. how it would feel to hold his cock, the weight of it in your hands. his cock sliding and grinding against your pussy—

fuck. you have to turn away and remind yourself to chill the hell out. to not fall so easily for the charms of the dancer whose job is to make you get worked up like this. but, well, there’s no denying that satoru is good at everything he does. and he’s hot, like you said. he looks even better up close than he did on stage. so when you feel a warm hand on your jaw, guiding your face back to the front, how could you ever resist?

“baby,” satoru says, lowering himself so that he’s properly seated on your lap now. in this position, you can feel his hard-on against your pussy, the bulge of his pants pressed right between your legs. you swallow thickly. “i’m going to get jealous if you keep turning away. look at me.”

your breath catches in your throat. it’s like satoru has you locked in a trance, the rest of the world disappearing around you because nothing else matters. you have nowhere left to look but at him, at the way sweat rolls down his abs, strong thighs caged around your legs.

“yeah, that’s it.” satoru moves his hips just slightly, but it’s enough to make you really feel him against your own body. jesus christ. “focus on me and how good i can make you feel.”

it’s not fully grinding, because he’s still teasing you more than anything, but the only thing separating the two of you is your own pants and the very thin fabric that satoru is wearing. if it weren’t for those, you would actually be fucking. the mere thought of it has you letting out an involuntary moan.

at the sound, satoru perks up and smirks, eyes darkening. he works his hips harder, applying more pressure, and your brain effectively short circuits. “mm, you’re wet, aren’t you? i bet your panties are soaked for me. so fucking turned on already. such a good girl.”

oh, you know. you don’t need satoru to tell you how far gone you are now, how your pussy is aching and throbbing within the confines of your pants. you’re almost embarrassed by the growing feeling of lust coursing through you, the want and desire you feel toward him. this is quite possibly the horniest you’ve ever been in your life, and you’re losing all sense of rationality embarrassingly fast.

“y-you—” you start before you have to stop because satoru lines up his cock directly with your pussy and ruts against you filthily, calculated. it makes you gasp, bucking up on instinct when he retreats. and fuck, you’re panting now, having been given a taste of the kind of pleasure satoru can provide you, and it only makes you want more.

“go on,” he encourages, far too amused. “what were you saying?”

eventually, with visible effort, you manage to choke out, “you’re—ah—you’re hard, too.”

“i am. all because of you, baby,” satoru says suggestively and impossibly inviting. his mouth moves to your ear to whisper, “how about we go somewhere quieter? just the two of us?”

a shudder runs down your spine, arousal swirling in the pit of your stomach. and you can tell exactly what he’s implying, knows that you should probably be a bit more cautious in these situations, but it’s hard to think logically when someone like satoru is this close to you. giving you an offer that you could never turn down. you don’t even realize that you’re nodding rather eagerly until you’re being pulled up from your seat, that enticing grin back on satoru’s face as he leads you away from the main stage.

.

the two of you go into a private room that’s small but well-furnished. the lighting is dim and seems to cast a spotlight on the sofa in the center of the room. music is still present here, but not as loud. unlike the main stage, you have no problem hearing satoru when he gives his next instructions.

“make yourself comfortable,” he tells you, and you go over to sit on the couch.

you can’t believe this is happening. there’s arousal thrumming inside you, veins running hot with the anticipation of what’s to come.

in front of you, satoru unclips his suspenders and tosses them aside. they didn’t hide much to begin with, but even still, you take the opportunity to drink in the sight of his fully naked chest. and god, does he have a nice body—strong arms, well-toned abs, hardened nipples. seriously the whole package in one insanely attractive person.

satoru walks closer toward you and doesn’t waste any time, sinking down to his knees in front of the couch. he pushes your legs apart and runs his hands up your trembling thighs.

“need some help with this?” he nods between your legs, the hint of a smirk dancing on his lips. a hand passes over his clothed pussy, lightly grazing against it, and the groan that escapes you is awful.

“please,” you breathe out. you hate that you sound so wrecked already.

it makes satoru grin as he leans forward, rising higher. “don’t worry, i’ll make you feel good. but there’s just one little rule that you have to keep in mind…” he trails off, pausing for suspense. his hands slip under your shirt, traveling up to squeeze your breasts outside your bra. at the same time, he whispers into your ear, “no touching.”

you gasp, arching forward. your mind goes blank for a second. fingers twitching, you have to physically stop yourself from reaching out, already coming close to breaking the only rule you’ve been given. arousal rushes through you at once, and you wonder, not for the first time, how it’s possible for satoru to know exactly what turns you on.

“fuck, s-satoru—”

“mm,” he hums, satisfied. “you look good like that. so fucking desperate for me.”

then he gets up, throws one leg on either side of you, effectively straddling you, and sits on your lap. he rocks his hips gently back and forth a few times before wrapping his arms around your neck. satoru is looking at you with hooded eyes, with pure lust and desire, and the intensity of his stare makes you feel wanted like you never have before.

jesus christ, you curse mentally. this is seduction perfected to an artform. there’s a beautiful, naked man giving you a lap dance and this has only just started but you’re already dripping in your pants.

you’re not prepared for when satoru brings your faces close, just mere centimeters apart. it knocks the breath out of you, heart beating wildly in your chest. satoru’s mouth is parted, your lips brushing, almost kissing but not quite. all it would take is for you to lift your head, chasing after him, giving in to the ever-growing desire to taste him. but his words from earlier echo as a warning in your mind: no touching.

“did you think you could break me that easily?” you ask, feigning composure. except it’s obvious just how affected you are by everything. you’re sure that satoru can feel your pussy throbbing helplessly in your pants now that you’re this close to each other.

“yes,” satoru says, confident. and you don’t even care that you’re being played so easily; your traitorous mind only thinks of pressing those smirking lips against your own. “i think i could. looks like i almost got you there, anyway.”

his ghosts his lips down your neck, almost kissing, almost tender, but never actually making contact. his warm breath follows, trailing down to your collarbones. and you want him, you want him so badly. you’ve never wanted a man more than you want satoru now, but you’re not allowed to do anything. it’s so fucking cruel.

in your seat, you shudder. your body reacts to his every action, and you’re sure that it’s only encouraging him. “f-fuck, no fair.”

“that’s right, baby,” satoru murmurs. “i could make you forget everything but me… where you are, how to think, the one rule you’re supposed to follow…”

swallowing hard, you have to grip your hands on the couch, knuckles turning white, to stop yourself from reaching out. you know that all of this will be over if you touch him, but it’s so, so tempting.

the worst part is that the rule doesn’t apply both ways. you’re not allowed to touch, but satoru can. and he takes full advantage of it, hands roaming all over like he’s starved for contact, under your shirt and up to your chest, snaking behind to unclip your bra. you gasp when you feel his bare hand groping your breasts, holding the weight of them in his palms, massaging them, playing with your nipples. he flicks at the sensitive nubs. his thumbs circle around them, pinching them with just the right amount of pressure between two fingers.

he does this until he draws out a low, guttural moan from you. the cocky grin is back on his face, and you hate that you’re playing right into his hands, but you can’t help it. he’s fucking good at what he does.

soon, he abandons your breasts, sliding his hands back down your sides to trace smooth circles on your inner thighs. he grazes over your pussy countless times but never applies any pressure, never fully gives you what you want. it’s not enough, and you can’t stop yourself from bucking your hips up to meet him.

and then—fuck, you think you’re going to lose your mind. satoru unzips your pants and pushes it down just far enough for the dampness of your panties to be exposed. you can’t even deny it: you’re so wet, so turned on. he runs a single finger over your panties, feeling your arousal, and you moan brokenly, thinking about having those long fingers inside you.

throughout all this, you wonder how you must look, so desperate and struggling to hold yourself back. you’re panting, chest heaving, entire body burning on fire. when satoru pulls away to get a better look at you, a charge of tension passes between you, so thick it’s almost suffocating.

“naughty girl,” he murmurs, still rubbing you over your panties. never giving you a chance to breathe. “you must be aching for it.”

you moan again and feel yourself getting even wetter, soaking the material further. “m-more, satoru, please—”

you’re not even sure what it is that you’re asking for, but satoru only grins before removing himself from your lap. a whimper escapes you and you almost beg him to stay, until you realize what it is that he’s doing.

a private show, just like the one he gave on stage earlier, but much more intimate and filthy. satoru doesn’t hold anything back, moving to the beat echoing in the background, performing body rolls one after another. and now that he’s standing in front of you, showing off his body, it’s obvious that he’s fully hard. there’s an impressive bulge between his legs, making his already tight underwear seem even tighter. the material stretches to accommodate his length, to the point where it looks like it could break at any moment.

your eyes follow his every move, every shift of his muscles, holding your breath and physically unable to look away. because satoru is thrusting his hips like he’s—like he’s actually fucking someone right then and there, letting out increasingly suggestive sounds, grunts and moans that will haunt you at night. and you so badly want to spread your legs and have him thrust into you instead.

and then—oh god. satoru hooks his fingers onto the waistband of his underwear, a thin strap that wraps around his pelvis, and begins to pull it down but pauses just as it’s about to slip over his cock. he’s watching you closely, eyes flickering back and forth between your face and your dripping pussy. and you know how eager you must seem, shamefully excited to see what the thin fabric conceals.

but satoru only smiles wickedly and removes his hands entirely, spinning away to the beat of the music. he twists and turns, goes back to thrusting his hips tantalizingly in the air. he runs his hands down his chest, then dips into his underwear again.

“i’m not supposed to take this off, you know,” satoru says, teasing it lower and lower. “but for you, i want to. i really want to.”

you swallow. “w-well—”

the waistband sinks lower, revealing more of his smooth skin. “you’d like that too, wouldn’t you?”

there’s no way you could lie in a situation like this, so you give up all sense of dignity and say, “fuck yes, yes, i—”

your pussy agrees vehemently, throbbing between your legs. you have to choke back a moan when you see the fabric catching and releasing at the head of satoru’s cock, the very tip of it poking out into view.

“i’m sure you do,” satoru hums.

he pulls it back up, playing innocently with the strap, and you swear you could die from the anticipation alone. this has to be the best strip tease you’ve ever gotten by far, but also the most frustrating. you’ve never wanted to rip the clothes off someone so fucking badly before.

but satoru isn’t done yet. he turns around so that his back is facing you and bends over before pulling his underwear all the way down in one go, revealing what little had been hidden by the satin, his ass on full display. then, all too quickly, it’s back up again and this time you do let out an unfiltered groan.

fuck, satoru is beyond skilled at getting you riled up, making your pussy so damn wet with arousal. and he knows it too. when he turns back to face you, the smile on his face is absolutely cruel and he starts to sway his hips again, in that hypnotic way that makes you want to beg him to fuck you already.

“shit, just—” you can’t help but let out a desperate whine. “take it off. please.”

satoru grins like he’s got you right where he wants you and winks. “since you asked so nicely.”

he finally begins to remove his underwear completely—except he goes slow, painfully and torturously slow, revealing one inch of his cock at a time. you’re on the edge of your seat. it feels like an eternity before the whole thing comes off and satoru steps out of it, tossing the last of his clothing somewhere to the side.

for a while, you can only stare. you’re entranced by the way his cock curves up to his abdomen, bobbing in the air, flushed and hard and demanding attention. you’re embarrassingly obvious in the way your eyes are fixated on it, wanting to trace the prominent vein on the underside. wanting to touch and taste it.

that’s when you notice—satoru isn’t just hard; he’s wet, too. beads of precum roll down his shaft, proof that all of this is turning him on as well, that it’s not only for show. a hand wraps around the cock, stroking a few times, and it takes a second for you to realize that he’s jerking himself off right in front of you. holy shit.

“well, what do you think?” satoru asks, twisting his hand and moaning. the tip of his cock is flushed red, now leaking more than before. “was it worth the wait?”

you nod, not trusting yourself to speak, and the noise that escapes you is not human. but it’s very, very appreciative. you feel your pussy pulsing hard between his legs, wanting so badly for satoru to touch you like how he’s touching himself.

what you don’t expect next is for him to let go entirely and drop down to the floor. smirking, he looks up at you from that position, at the growing wetness where your pussy is hidden behind your panties, and licks his lips. then, on all fours, satoru starts to crawl toward you with evident desire on his face until he’s kneeling right in front of you once again.

heart hammering away in your chest, you swallow thickly as a fresh wave of arousal washes over you. satoru runs his hands up your thighs, rising so that he’s sitting on your lap again, but still not quite close enough for your hips to touch.

he leans forward to lick your ear and you immediately shudder. in a low, seductive voice, he whispers, “i guess you can resist the temptation, after all; you haven’t touched me even once. good girl. do you see how fucking hard i am for you?”

the praise makes your head spin, and you let out a shaky breath, groaning. “s-satoru…”

“want to feel my cock on your pussy?”

that makes your pussy throb, very much into the offer. “fuck, please.”

so, satoru moves closer until you’re touching, his naked cock against your clothed pussy. your bodies pressed together. and then satoru rubs his cockhead up and down your pussy, sliding between your thighs, moving his hips in circular motions, grinding into you like he’s determined to take you apart. throughout it all, he’s watching you with an intensity that has your whole body burning under his gaze.

“does this feel good?” his breath is warm on your neck. “tell me.”

“a-ah—” the next time he fucks against you, you gasp, squirming in your seat. it takes everything you have to not buck up into the delicious friction and shamelessly rut against satoru until you come. “y-yeah, yeah, don’t stop.”

time seems to stretch indefinitely, and satoru takes his sweet time making slow, sensual rolls of his hips, unraveling you little by little. meanwhile, you’re trembling in place, whining and whimpering, pussy aching for release. it’s driving you fucking crazy, mind swimming with pleasure. you know that you’re probably not going to last much longer like this, and it feels like he’s been teasing you for hours.

satoru is getting off on this too, just as vocal, each thrust growing more and more frantic. his cock leaks onto you. and when he starts talking again, whispering directly into your ear, you lose all semblance of control and feel the arousal building inside you, threatening to tip you over the edge.

“you know,” satoru starts, punctuating his words with a filthy grind that has you moaning, “you caught my eye when i was on stage. i saw you watching me, so turned on… practically fucking me with your eyes. did you think you were being subtle, pretty girl?” he chuckles at your embarrassment. “i could tell that you wanted me. that you were—hah—lusting after my body. and i knew i had to have you all to myself.”

“f-fuck,” you moan, head falling back. you replay the memories of satoru dancing on stage in your head, how he had commanded the whole room, drawing everyone’s attention to the way he worked his body. the body that’s currently on top of you, straddling you and bringing you right to the edge without mercy.

“mm, and i could tell that you tried to resist it at first. but i love breaking down girls like you. i love the challenge. and look at you now, baby.” satoru slides one hand up your shirt to latch onto your nipple again, and the other hand to circle your clit through your panties. the combined stimulation makes you cry out, driving you to the brink of madness. “so wrecked for me. you want it so fucking bad, don’t you?”

the moan that escapes you is loud and needy and you’re basically begging at this point. you sneak a glance down at where you two connect, the sight satoru’s cock on your pussy so fucking lewd, and you think you’re going to come at any second now. “ngh—satoru—s-satoru—you’re gonna make me—”

“yeah,” satoru breathes out, voice raspy. he picks up the pace, rocking into you much harder than before. “yeah, bet you want me to put my cock in that tight little pussy of yours, huh? f-feel me throbbing inside you while i fuck you—hah—fuck you so hard and deep—”

“oh, my god,” you curse, panting under him. you’re a shaking mess, and you can’t stop yourself anymore; your hips rise to join satoru’s, meeting his every thrust. you can feel it; you’re right there, right there. your orgasm is hovering just on the periphery. “a-ah, fuck—i’m—i’m gonna—”

satoru hums in acknowledgement. he shifts his position a little, lifting a leg up to get a better angle, and continues grinding on you, daring you to let go. at the same time, his hand circles your clit even faster, sending tingles all throughout your body. “just like that, baby. imagine how good it would feel to have me thrusting inside you.”

pleasure rushes through you so fast it makes you dizzy. your pussy is pulsing and throbbing, so fucking wet that your panties are completely soiled by now, beyond saving. and you can’t hold back anymore, you’re going to come; you’re going to come right here in front of satoru, shamelessly, and you want it, you want it so bad—

“fuck, fuck, i can’t—w-wait, stop, i’m really—o-oh, i’m close—”

“wanna see you come for me,” satoru encourages, grinding even more deliberately against you, bringing you closer and closer to your climax with each calculated roll of his hips. “you’ll let me come too, right? be a g-good girl now, and let me come all over your panties.”

“god, yes, give it to me,” you moan, so incredibly turned on by the idea of satoru spilling on your panties, right over your throbbing pussy. it’s so fucking hot. your body is moving on instinct, and all you can think about is chasing after your release. “hah—hah—s-satoru—” you pant, shaking and writhing. “i can’t—can’t hold—ngh—gonna—"

and satoru’s mouth is right by your ear again when he says, “that’s it, baby. show me what that pretty face of yours looks like when you come.”

holy shit—hearing that, you don’t think you could hold back any longer even if you wanted to. with a strangled cry, you throw your head back on the couch, hips bucking up wildly and back arching into satoru. your thighs are trembling when you come, pussy pulsing, pulsing, pulsing and making a sticky mess of yourself. it’s all overwhelming and your chest heaves, only vaguely aware that satoru is coming, too.

he fucks you through your orgasm and his cock throbs hard before he’s moaning your name, hips stuttering and shooting out his release is spurts. his come splatters all over you, just like he said, white and thick and filthy on your stomach and panties. landing right over your clit, over your pussy. you moan again, sounding broken, fucked out. it’s a waste—you’d rather have his come inside you—but the erotic sight of it makes up for that.

satoru’s cock is still twitching, even a few seconds after you’ve both caught your breaths. he hovers over you, that perfect body—strong thighs and hard abs and those striking blue eyes, the intense look he gives you that makes him irresistible. god, you weren’t supposed to be this easy to seduce.

slowly, you inhale and reorient yourself, feeling the aftermath of your orgasm subsiding. your mind is still a bit hazy. when you meet satoru’s gaze, all you can say is, “fuck.”

“that good?” satoru asks, always so damn smug and full of himself. he runs a hand through his hair, smirking. “don’t miss my cock too much when i'm gone. next time, i just might consider fucking your pussy for real and giving you a taste of true pleasure.”

his fingers find your panties again, your swollen pussy, and rubs the area. you gasp, hips jerking. so sensitive, especially after your orgasm. and satoru knows, of course he knows; he did it on purpose. he loves being able to get a reaction out of you, controlling your body with a single touch.

you try to glare at him, but it’s weak. it hardly means anything after he gave you one of the best orgasms of your life, making you come so hard without even putting his cock in you. without even touching your pussy directly. it’s the kind of orgasm that you’ll replay in your mind when you’re alone at night and feeling pent up and horny, picturing him in your mind as you get yourself off.

next time. well, you think. you definitely hadn’t been planning to come back to the strip club after today, but now you suppose that it can’t hurt to make another visit if satoru is going to be there.

.

tag list: @megumisdivinedogs @urlilwhore @l0rdgeosupport3rr @purple-obsidian @l0rdgeosupport3rr @minni-creations @fos-tis-zois @the-reas0n-is-y0u @cantfeelherface @rxmbzzz @lysaray @zelzablues @str4wbrrycandy @that-goth-bisexual @simping4u @iminlovewqr0w @sharks31 @pseudowho @jisoonunn @outkasti @anathemaspeaks @fushigur0slut4 @barryatsumu @d0nk3y-k0ng @shasaaa15 @wil10wthetree

(comment to be added)

[cosmicsully]

OBSESSED WITH YOU

aged up!Neteyamx aged up!human(f)!reader

Summary: In which…. Neteyam crosses paths with a human, but what is that sudden obsession with her, where did that need to protect her come from?

Word count: 3.1k

Warnings: fluff, Y/N’s personal space is quite literally violated by Neteyam, Y/N is the first Human Neteyam has ever seen, Neteyam barely speaks/understands English, kissing, slight make out, lowkey unrealistic storyline lmao

My Masterlist <3.

What are you called? = fyape syaw fko ngar Stay calm = mawey beautiful: (of people) = sevin take it off = kämunge tsal I want to see = Oe new ne kame hurry up = win säpi nefä so soft = nìftxan 'ango

I hope you enjoy! If you do, feel free to reblog, I might consider writing more parts to this :) <3

I can still remember how it happened. The day that I met Neteyam still lingers in my mind, the young Na´vi boy consuming my attention at all times.

About a week ago, I can still feel the soft breeze of air flushing against my legs, I remember smelling the green plants that had just been drowned in the heavy rain the previous night. The loving light of the warm sun embraces my figure as I walk across a muddy path, trying not to step on any kind of animal. I was outside although I was not allowed to leave the lab. Secretly slipping out of the back door, the mask that is pumping oxygen into my lungs well secured on my face, as I made it my new goal to explore Pandora further.

It is a memory I cherish. The adrenaline that runs through my veins as I took one step after the other, putting as much space as possible between me and the lab.

With the feeling of well-secured safety and no one having caught me fleeing from my home, I slowed my steps, taking in my beautiful surroundings. All kinds of exotic colorful plants surround my form, my eyes darting to one and then another, trying to see everything all at once. My ragged breathing slowed down as I sprinted across the mud, my feet now slightly covered in it.

I can’t help but feel joy consume me whole.

The beauty of Pandora yet again swallowed me, pulling me in. I let my feet work on their own, deciding on taking a small walk to find new interesting and unexplored corners. My fingertips glide against a pulsating bluish plant, as it vibrates against my hand in return, letting myself smile at the uncommon feeling.

This world is so alive.

It is beautiful, I hope its owners treat it well, with respect and cherish it just as I do. Although from the stories I have been told, Na’vi are very spiritual species who inhabit these forests. And now that I think of it, I have never truly seen a real Na’vi.

Dreamwalkers don’t count.

Not letting my mind linger on the thought of facing a real Na’vi, I continued my exploration, It felt like mere minutes, but because it was slowly becoming darker around me it must have been at least a few hours. The only sound that reaches my ears is my breathing from behind the thin glass that is covering my entire face, and the nature that I’m currently moving in. Deciding that I have seen enough for today and that Norm is most likely worrying about my well-being, I take a turn and walk to the path I have been walking all along and slowly but surely make my way back to the lab.

Just as I took a few steps, I heard a quiet huff and leaves moving behind a tree a few feet away from me.

Midway through me turning my head, a blue figure emerges from the bushes. There he stands. A tall male Na’vi. His stripes-covered skin glows underneath the small amount of light that is still falling on Pandora.

He is beautiful.

So beautiful the nature around me is no longer on my mind. All my focus and attention is now drawn to him as I see his fist tightening around a weapon that is firm in his right hand.

With quick movements, he is pointing an arrow at me.

“Wait- Wait- Wait-“ I start as his face wears an angry expression, his frown-covered face facing my direction. I can see his ears perk up at the words that left my mouth. The foreign language fills his head as he decides on killing or spearing me.

“fyape syaw fko ngar?” he hisses, flashing his fangs at me. His white teeth sparkle in the sun as he takes a big step closer to me. His sudden movement made me trip over, my backside making contact with the now slightly dried ground. Him now towering over me even more, his height is scary.

“I- I’m sorry I don’t understand you, please talk slower,” I say, trying to speak slowly, he probably doesn’t understand my words. He tilts his head in confusion, his eyes widening as he takes in my form. Here I am, halfway sitting up in the slightly muddy forest of Pandora. My eyes are fixated on the Na’vi that is towering above me.

“fyape. syaw. fko. ngar?” he repeats, now trying to talk as slow as I did. His pronunciation is now much clearer, his eyes squinting close as if he can see the wheels whirring behind my eyes. This situation throws me back multiple years, remembering the Na’vi lessons we were put through at the mere age of ten. He must have said something about me. Asking about my age? No that would not add up to the situation I’m currently in. Maybe he asked what my name is. That makes way more sense, him emerging from the forest, probably taking me in as a threat.

Slowly, I raise my hands on either side of my head a little, to show that I have no weapons on me, and don’t mean any harm to anyone. At my gesture his ears stand up, their previous position flattened against his head long gone. While doing so, his curiosity must have grown, he lowers his weapon, no meaning to harm me for now. The unknown Na’vi male lowers himself into a crouching position, as he fixates his bow on his back and secures the arrow back in its holder. With me still staying put on the ground, he starts to crawl over my much smaller form to take in my face.

His expression is still confused, but the curiosity must be getting a hold of him. He slowly makes his way above me, his face getting closer to mine, I can feel his warm breath hitting my cheek, his sparkly yellow eyes boring into my own. Pupils now grown bigger and bigger with each second that passes.

“What are you doing?” I whisper, my questioning tone must have shown him that I asked a question. He shakes his head in a way to tell me that he has no idea what I just said, but he doesn’t leave his current position, instead, he’s only inching closer to my body. His face slowly moved to the left side of my face, flattened nose touching my cheek and slowly moving down to my neck. His way of moving and actions remind me of an animal, I can feel him take a deep breath through his nose when it hits my pulse point. It’s like he’s taking in my scent, trying to burn it into his brain to never lose the smell of me.

His actions makes a shudder run down my spine, a shaky breath leaving my mouth only now realizing that I have been holding my lungs oxygen-free for the past minute, them now aching and burning for more.

He breathes me in again, this time with eyes closed, my scent filling his nostrils. My breathing stays unsteady, his presence making my heart quicken in my chest, he seems to notice that, his eyes now fixated on my chest, watching it rise and fall again. When my eyes caught his never leaving my chest, a frown forms on my face, my mouth gaping at him and my arms moving to cover my chest. Slightly uncomfortable under his stare that is on one of my most intimate parts.

He quickly shakes his head and uses one of his three-fingered hands -that is at least twice as big as mine- to move them away, his now gained free access to my chest making him move his head closer, the side of his face making contact with me, his ear hovering above my heart. My heartbeat echoes in his head, its beating pumping hot blood through my veins. Although he does not seem to have the intention to hurt me in any way, my heart doesn’t slow its fast beats. His heavy head makes contact with my chest, I can feel him resting his head completely.

He stays put for a few seconds, the sound of soft breaths leaving his nose hit my ears. My heart still hammers in my chest, continuing to reveal my unsure feelings about the moment and this stranger who is quite literally breaking the definition of personal space. He stirrers up removing his ear from my chest, now much softer yellow eyes meeting mine.

“Mawey.” he whispers. His soothing voice makes it seem like a sweet gesture, the way he talks, the way his eyes move from me to my chest, no, to my heart, its like he wants to tell me to relax. The next thing that catches his attention is the oxygen mask that covers my slightly blushing face. With one of his fingers he taps against the glass, the tap rather harsh as it shoots through the glass and right to my ears echoing softly.

"Neteyam." he speaks up, the pronunciation lingering in my mind. As he speaks, he points the finger that just tapped my mask to his chest, gesturing to himself, it seems to be his way of introducing himself to me.

"Y/N." I say telling him my name. His ears perk up as my voice hits him.

"Y/N…" he tries to pronounce my name just like I did, but fails miserably. I can´t help myself but let a giggle slip past my lips at his terrible attempt at pronouncing my name, squinting my eyes closed in the process. He doesn´t exactly laugh at my reaction, but what seems to be a small smile makes its way across Neteyams face. I like the way my name sounds when he speaks.

"Sevin." he whispers pointing at me again. His hand glides downwards to my own and he takes a look at it, his eyes fixated on my little finger. He slowly but surely wraps two of his fingers around it, completely engulfing my pinky with his. His hand is huge compared to mine. If he wanted to, he could cover my entire hand with his and nothing of my hand would be visible.

"Sevin?" I ask, questioning his last words, why did I barely pay attention when we were told simple words that are commonly used by Na´vi?

"Beautiful?" he now repeats, his accent thick as he tries to translate his words.

"You mean me?" I ask a little unsure, it is not unknown in the lab that Na´vi and humans don´t usually interact with one another, let alone find any interest in each other. He points his finger against my chest again, still trying to get me to understand that he thinks I´m pretty.

I can´t help but blush at his actions, not quite used to being complimented by someone.

"You´re beautiful too" I answer, already aware of the fact that he probably doesn´t understand what I just told him. So I point my finger at his chest just like he did to me and say

"Sevin."

His eyes fall to my pointer finger that is currently resting against his chest, his hands now following his eyes, a blue hand yet again engulfing my own. I feel a certain warmth spread through my chest.

Am I supposed to feel like this?

Probably not.

No, definitely not.

Then why does his presence feel so good? Why do I feel this special security with him? When his warm eyes meet mine?

His attention is now back on my face, the way he is now directly in front of me, allows me to take a closer look at his facial features. His yellow, big, cat-like eyes are pulsating with warmth and softness, his slightly flattened nose wrinkling when he senses new smell. He seems to be studying me just as I do him.

"kämunge tsal" he whispers, now again tapping against my oxygen mask.

Although I could not exactly translate his spoken words in my head, it must have been something about my mask. I shake my head hastily, if his intentions are about me taking it off he can forget it.

"Oe new ne kame" he urges me on, his eyes filled with curiosity and desperate pleading.

"Off," he says quickly his demanding tone fitting to his accent, his hand already finding the bottom of the mask and lifting it off of my face. His sudden actions make me gasp and quickly breathe in, to catch another wave of oxygen.

The mask is now all the way off, Neteyam places it on one of his muscular tights, but his vibrant eyes are darting across every moving muscle on my face. He studies me carefully as if he is afraid of breaking me with a grip that might be too firm for my body.

His left-hand moves to the right side of my head, the warm palm of his softly meeting me. His palm swallows half of my skull, it’s like a puzzle fitting, his piece connecting with mine. A few seconds later I have a sort of ticklish feeling against my upper thigh, his strong tail curling twice around it. The movement makes me blush, I feel my cheeks and half of my neck warming. It’s like Neteyam is trying to be as close as possible, though I can not really tell why.

His face inches closer to mine, he’s so close again that I can feel his breath on my lips, his eyes dare to look at them for a quick moment but just as he meets them he averts his gaze again. I can’t help it but copy his movement, my eyes darting down to his lips.

I can feel the atmosphere between us get turned upside down within one quick glance at his lips, a sort of tension building up.

What I’m doing here is insane.

I should be home by now.

Just as I can feel him getting even closer, the need for oxygen is growing and growing, my lungs aching for relief. My eyes shoot down to his leg hastily grabbing the mask that my body so desperately seeks. The moment it hits my face I take a deep breath, my heart beating at a quickening speed. Neteyam groans in response his hand falling from my head, instead both of his hands land on either side of my waist. As I try to steady my breathing, he pulls my smaller form into his lap.

"win säpi nefä" he lowly whines, making my eyebrows raise in confusion at his whining. He waits a few seconds for my chest to raise at a normal speed again, his eyes boring through mine as if he is asking for permission, although I can not quite tell for what.

"Enough" he orders now quite needy ripping the mask off my face, but before I can respond in annoyance, warm lips are pressed against my very own. My eyes widen at his sudden actions, I can`t hold back the quiet unexpected sigh that sounds like a soft moan leaving my lips.

Neteyam responds eagerly, his tongue now parting my lips ready to claim my mouth, the taste of me lingering on his tastebuds, he pulls me closer by my hips, the close proximity making him groan. The kiss quickly becomes feverish and passionate as his desire for more keeps growing. His hand moves to the back of my head keeping me in place to continue his almost assault on my lips. His rough palms skim down my waist to hook around my hips, pulling me flush against his chest.

It is something I have never felt before, the adrenaline coursing through my veins making my head dizzy. Or maybe it was the lack of oxygen that was making me feel lightheaded.

I can´t help but try to pull away from him, his much stronger grip on me only tightening in response, in order to gain focus again I let my fingers tangle into his braids, softly tugging his lips away from mine. Neteyam growls in protest, chasing my lips with his but I lean back and reach down to put the mask that dangles down my body back on my face. As I keep filling my lungs with air, I look up through the thing glass with heavy-lidded eyes, my chest still heaving and my heart thrumming in my chest.

Neteyam pants softly, just as breathless as I am.

Behind Neteyam I can see his tail swaying with excitement from side to side, his own heavy eyes now focused on a part of my neck. He quickly connects his lips with my neck, softly coating it with open-mouth kisses. With his other hand, he gently tugs on my hair to expose my neck to his mouth. Not caring about the noises that could slip out of my mouth, I let a soft moan leave my lips at the feeling. That seems to urge him on further, his lips traveling from my neck, to my collarbone and lastly to my pulse point. It is the place he breathed me in earlier, he growls at the memory, lips quickly working at sucking on my delicate skin.

I close my eyes at the feeling of his soft but rough lips as they work against my sensitive skin, my mouth slightly agape at the pleasure that is shooting through every inch of my body.

"nìftxan 'ango" the Na´vi male moans against my neck, at the sound of a twig breaking somewhere in the distance, Neteyam quickly breaks away from my sensitive skin. His tail tightened around my thigh in a protective manner.

"Come" he hushes at me, now raising to his feet and full height, With one swift movement he claims my wrist in his hand sneaking around it in a soft grip. He pulls me up in no time as if I weigh nothing to him. I can feel myself hovering over the ground for a split second before he lets go of my wrist now fully placing me back on the ground I was laying on only minutes ago.

[wheneclipsefalls]

Little Gift- Tremble

Pairing: Soft Dark Neteyam x Fem Human Reader

Little Gift Masterlist

Beautiful adult Neteyam pic by @cinetrix2

Summary: This is your last chance to run.

Warnings: aged up Neteyam, NSFW minors do not interact, dark Neteyam, NONCON/DUBCON, spanking, dirty talk, punishment, size difference, etc.

A/N: This one took a little longer than intended with all the life stuff going on, but yay it's here. Also, migt have gotten a little carried away with this part.

The outpost feels like a relic of a different time. One that you have only heard of in stories, but now seeing those worn down bunk beds and the corner of a room that Spider calls his own, it doesn’t feel as glorious. The worst part, however, is how naked you feel around other humans. It’s only a slight comfort that Spider is wearing Na’vi apparel too. 

“Oh and yeah and this is a spear I made in Awalatuu.” Spider says. “But maybe let’s move it out of the way.” He gives an awkward chuckle but it’s obvious that his only concern is you suddenly deciding to use it against him. 

Your arrival at the outpost had been anything but graceful. In hindsight you would have preferred to meet these people face to face instead of over Neteyam’s shoulder. 

“If you want we can uh….watch a movie. Oh yeah I bet I could swipe Norm’s Star Wars collection.” 

You don’t return the smile he gives you, too busy awkwardly sitting on his bed while pouting. You never thought it would feel strange to be back in a place like this but after being around the Na’vi for the past week, the outpost feels like walking into a rundown dollhouse. Everything is your size and nothing is as beautifully crafted as Neteyam’s kelku. 

The awkward silence is slightly painful but you can’t find it within yourself to feel bad for Spider. Not when he hasn’t shown even a morsel of sympathy for your situation. Your own kind and not even they find it important to get you out of here. Not that they could anyways. No doubt Neteyam would view such actions as a betrayal. 

“He wouldn’t let you come along, huh?” You finally ask. 

Spider stops digging through the worn down hard drives. 

“Who?” 

“Neteyam. Didn’t want you coming to see the RDA off either?” 

Spider scoffs at the, leaving the tech behind to cross the small room. 

“I wouldn’t say that. I’m not the one he’s worried about getting into trouble.” 

Spider may not have heightened senses like the Na’vi but you worry that he sees the way your hands ball around the thin blankets.

“So Lo’ak handed the role of babysitter off to you somehow.” You lean back against the cold wall, trying to appear bored by the conversation. 

“Just for today. He was clear that I would only be a substitute.” 

Your brows furrow at that. Maybe Lo’ak doesn’t mind watching over you as much as he lets on. Then again Lo’ak never fails to find your company amusing, and for all the wrong reasons. Some days you wonder if Neteyam would really be cross with you for slapping his brother across the face. Maybe if you batted your lashes and played it off as self defense….

“Well I’m sorry you can’t be there.” 

It’s Spider’s turn to look confused. 

“Why?” 

“Colonel Quaritch is your dad, isn’t he?” 

“That asshole is nothing close to a father.” Spider’s jaw clenches, posturing already shifting to loom over you. He may be human but his six foot frame of striped muscle greatly outweighs your own. 

“Oh trust me, I know. Quaritch has been nothing but a tyrant my entire life. I honestly don’t know how he managed to get back into General Ardmore’s good graces after half the stunts he has pulled. That’s why I was excited for today. Finally see that bastard put in his place.” Spider watches you closely. In some ways it feels like all he is missing he ears and tail of a Na’vi.

“Thought maybe you would want to see that too.” 

You know a good deal about Spider Soccoro. He is a story that is often shared among the recombinants but never in Quaritch’s presence. Many tales have been told of the feral stripped boy that was more trouble than worth. You wonder if the stories would have been different if he hadn’t chosen the Sullys in the end. Still, even with their biased filters you know that they put Spider through hell. 

Kidnapping is traumatic enough without having to watch islands burn and friends cry for justice. 

“I don’t care what happens to that bastard.” Spider huffs before promptly turning around and fishing through the hard drives once more. You’ve killed the already strained mood. 

“Well then you’re a better person than me. Good for you.” Spider doesn’t answer but you can tell he is listening. 

A bitter laugh escapes you. “Hell, I’ve only had to put up with him from a distance and I would ring his neck myself if given the chance.” 

Spider’s fingers fiddle with a blue hard drive, eyes staring down thoughtfully. 

“But I guess I should trust Neteyam to give him what he deserves. Watch that monster tuck his tail and accept his failure for what it is.”  It’s the one cause you consider Neteyam and yourself on the same side of. 

Leaning back, you prop your feet up onto the creaky mattress. 

“Yeah.” He says shortly. 

“Ugh don’t get me started on Lyle though-”

“What are you trying to do?” Spider springs to his feet, glaring daggers down at you. 

“What do-”

“Do you think I’m really that stupid? Neteyam told me you would do this. Trying to spin a story that would allow you to escape.” 

You swallow the lump in your throat. You’re startled by the outburst to say the least but at this point there is nothing to lose. This man you only met fifteen minutes ago is the difference between spending the rest of your days here and returning back to Earth. Neteyam’s punishments are far from being enough to deter you from taking this chance. 

“I’m sorry I wasn’t trying to-”

“Would it kill you to just stay out of trouble for this one day? For my sake?” The look he gives you is anything but tender in comparison to his words. 

The bitter taste of impending failure is already settling in. You can already feel the immense weight of this dread and it springs you into action. This can’t be the end. 

It won’t be. 

“Can you really blame me though? For wanting to say goodbye to everything and everyone I have ever known?” 

Spider goes quiet, hazel eyes suddenly avoiding your own gaze. 

“Believe whatever you want but the fact is this day will never repeat. This is literal history and…” You voice quivers, blunt teeth sinking into your bottom lip in restraint. The last barrier to holding the words back. “The last glimpse at my old life.” 

You don’t allow the gravity of those whispered words to plant themselves. This is all a ruse after all. Just enough sadness to get Spider to cooperate and yet saying it out loud feels like tying an anchor to your ankle. Truly realizing how stuck you may be from here on out. 

Spider doesn’t say anything for a long while. Neither of you look at each other, letting the silence sizzle between you. 

And then finally….

“We have to be quick.”

“And no touching anything. I mean it, shit out here can be extremely poisonous.” Spider rattles on, listing yet another rule to follow as the two of you venture through the thick terrain. You roll your eyes. You may not be a match for the creatures of Pandora physically but you’ve studied enough to understand what to stay away from.

“We’re there for five minutes tops, got it?” Spider says as he pushes a hanging branch out of your path. 

“Yes sir.” You salute him playfully. Now that you are less than a mile away from Bridgehead a certain giddiness begins to take over. It swirls together with your nerves and apprehension but it doesn’t deter you. This is the closest you have been to freedom in a week. 

Eywa’s mightiest creatures could not keep you from your goal. 

Years down the road when you wake up from kyro this will all be some awful dream that embeds itself into your revenge arch. Starting with Miles Quaritch of course. 

“I’m being serious. Neteyam will kill me if he sees you out here. I’m sticking my neck out for you.” 

“It will be worth it.” You say simply, a skip in your step when you recognize the familiar path that leads back to Bridgehead. This the same one you had carved deeper with every trip you had taken to your oasis. Looking back there is nothing more you regret but the sight of it still makes you smile. 

Spider never stops his stern rambling. Despite the fact that he is built like a Greek God, his speeches do little to intimidate you. Not when you’re used to nine feet of solid muscle and sharp canines. 

There is a bank that overhangs Bridgehead. A spot that Spider deems the perfect lookout for the two of you. You consider trying to convince him to get the two of you closer. After all, what good is a farewell that can’t be heard? Truth is, there really aren’t many people you would bother trying to say goodbye to. Jeremy moved on from you months ago, you have very little friends outside of that and what little you did have can be nothing but traitors by letting you get offered up without complaint. 

It feels like a risky move, however. Spider is sure to catch wind of your deception at the first hints of you disobeying.

“Here,” Spider mutters, suddenly pulling your arm so you stand directly in front of him. This leaves you sandwiched between the cliff’s edge and Spider’s tall frame. 

“Hey!” You snip at him, ripping your arm from his hold. 

“This way I can keep a close eye on you.” He smirks, hands resting confidently on his hips because he knows as well as you that his physical prowess greatly outweighs your own. It’s clear his trust is far from being earned. 

“Well do you have to breathe down my neck? Christ! I could use some space.” 

“No chance.” Spider responds shortly but his eyes are already scanning the crowd of RDA members below. 

“Neteyam doesn’t really take kindly to others sniffing around me.” 

You hate to play that card but it seems to be the only one you have in your deck and if you have any chance of getting out of here, Spider can’t be pressed up against you. A harsh glare is thrown down at you but with knitted brows and a fierce frown, the male takes a few steps back. It isn’t much, surely his presence will still be your first obstacle, but it’s a start. 

Every minute that passes by feels like torture. You watch as palettes of heavy equipment and artillery are rolled along the concrete with Na’vi supervising. Each one packed away is a signal of passing time, another stream of sand that falls through your hourglass of opportunity. The real nerves, however, kick in when the line of RDA members are escorted onto the ship. 

How long is it going to take them to load everyone?

How long until your hopes are dashed?

You spot Neteyam taking his place at the head. He is dressed up in his traditional Olo’eyktan gear completely with a feathered mantle and oval forehead jewelry, but this time he holds a gun. He holds it with confidence, finger strategically placed over the barrel and ready to strike at a moment’s notice. His golden eyes spark today like fire. Even from your lookout spot from above, you can feel that darting heat. 

You pray that they never fall on you again. 

Spider shifts over your shoulder suddenly, blonde dreads ticking your neck. You scramble out of his space but instead of jerking you into place as you expect, he takes your spot at the front. Brows knitting together, you watch him carefully as he crawls forward. 

Finally you spot what has captured his undivided attention. 

Colonel Miles Quaritch sternly leads his band of mutants through the crowd. They tower so high over the rest of the Sky People the sight is almost comedic. However, Spider is doing anything but laughing. His mask fogs up as he watches the scene with intensity. 

It’s like he is dead to the world, eyes trained on the man that has been anything but a father to him. 

You expect him to cheer, snarl, anything that shouts of victory. It was promises of seeing karma after all that had bought you this outing but Spider is silent and still. And then there is something else that flashes over his demeanor, a pang of emotion that is hard for you to place. 

Pain?

Hatred? 

Guilt? 

This swirl of tangled feelings is confusing.

Perhaps there is still so much more to learn about Spider Socorro. 

Regardless, this is your chance and you plan to take it. Tension bleeding into the moment you watch Spider diligently while beginning to back away. It feels as if the world’s ambience has been muffled into background noise and the only sound breaking through is the obnoxious puff of each breath through your mask. Neteyam hadn’t given you the serum shot this morning, assuming you would be spending the whole day in the outpost. Now, however, you wish he had. 

Spider is so enveloped in the moment, however, that he gives no recognition of the sound or even branch you clumsily snap when backing down from the cliff’s edge. 

There is no telling how long this trance will last or at what point you will be out of ear shot so you risk it all. 

Bare feet tingling in protest, you race across the forest floor. There’s no sign of an easy and stealthy way down into Bridgehead. Going back down your normal path would risk Spider spotting you race by. That’s not an option but neither is falling to your death. On the east side the cliff shallows out into a grassy hill. If you’re lucky enough you might just be able to creep down it and remain hidden beneath the heavy greenery. 

Upon reaching it, however, you step on loose dirt and the world rapidly spins around you. With neither a hint of grace or stealth you clumsily roll down the hill. Your muscles ache by the time you clunk to the bottom and you’re sure there are other injuries to be found. Adrenaline dulling the pain and panic, you dart to hide in the nearest bush instantly. 

The scene is so much louder now that you are up close. Heavy trucks make blaring beeping sounds while reversing and Na’vi freely let out loose cries of victory and foreign threats. The commotion is just enough to have your presence remain undetected. 

You don’t bank on that lasting for long though.

Your scanty traditional Na’vi attire is sure to draw attention. You need different clothes and you need it fast. Scaling around the outskirts of the chaos, you miraculously manage to make it to that familiar run down door. Sector two-your building. 

Paranoia constantly scraping at your attention, you barely let the room equalize before ripping your mask off. These hallways feel so different than you remember them. Perhaps it is the feel of the metal floors beneath bare feet or the lacking furniture and crowd. It sends a chill up your spine as you sprint towards your room. 

How much time do you have?

They can’t have loaded more than half of the crew by now.

And yet, the sight of deserted halls makes your feet slap against the floor faster. 

Get dressed. Immerse yourself in the crowd. Hide until take off is through and then find a kyro capsule.

You mentally check through this list. 

Piece of cake. 

Maybe saying it out loud would make it sound less like a fool’s hope. 

Fuck it. The odds don’t matter and neither do your nerves. This is a necessity, pure survival and that will be enough to keep you going. It will because it has to. 

Your feet slip across the laminated floor when you frantically scramble to go back the way you came. Two tall and ominous shadows wrap from around the opposite corner and you are afforded just enough time to dart behind a wall before Lyle and Z Dawg appear. 

“You’re an idiot.” She says. 

“Yeah yeah say whatever you want but don’t pretend like you wouldn’t rip someone in half for a Big Mac right now.” Lyle defends himself, their shadows now paint the dimly lit corridor, stretching closer and closer to your tucked away spot.

You could run, but these are recombinants. They would pick up the sound of your footsteps in an instant. The wind from your sprint would carry your scent. 

“Sure, but I asked what your first meal back on Earth would be, not what your guilty pleasure fast food order is.” 

“These savages can keep their overgrown weeded garden of a planet. I want some fucking chicken nuggets!” 

As their voices become louder it appears that running will be your only choice after all. 

“I don’t even know why I ask at this point.” She sighs and a short hiss echoes down the hallway. 

You swallow the lump in your throat, feet repositioning as you prepare yourself to run. If you were smart you would have already been halfway down the hallway at this point but some part of you refuses to move. It clings to hope foolishly. 

“Well I’m sure-”

“Shut up asshole. The comm.” Z Dawg hisses and they both turn silent, no doubt listening to the orders on the other end. 

Your hands are shaking now, that tremor traveling up your shoulders as you await their response. 

“Copy that.” Lyle says and then the sound of heavy boots recedes into the distance. 

You can hardly believe your luck. 

That dark cloud of dread ripples away and hope takes its place once more. Maybe you can pull this off after all. 

Your room is exactly as you left it. No one has bothered to pack up any of your things or even dispose of your half folded laundry. This tiny corner of a shared living space has been your own for your whole life, everything you have known. It feels so small now. 

Rifling through the laundry basket you find a loose green tee and a pair of  tan shorts. You originally had a whole outfit planned for this day, something comfortable but nice. Those garments are, however, still crumpled up on the ground. This will have to do. 

As you hastily slip them over the beaded jewelry and tewng you pray to whatever god will listen that this will be enough to keep you incognito. You are barely finished buttoning up the shorts when heavy footsteps ring down the hallway. 

Their echo is soft, no doubt still several halls away but they are progressively getting louder. Now is not the time to take any more risks. This room is tiny and already cramped with scattered junk. Hiding under your bed would not only be idiotic but near impossible with the way your creaky bed  swoopes so low to the ground. There is, however, an old built-in cabinet above that you’ve used to hold your clothes. 

It’s just barely big enough for you to squeeze into so with those footsteps getting louder and your own terror sky rocketing, you push everything out of it and shove your body into the metal space. The door has metal slots with just enough slant to allow your visual through it. 

Your clammy right hand presses over your mouth when the door to the room creaks open.

Neteyam strolls in leisurely, eyes sweeping over the cramped space with interest. With wide eyes and strangled lungs, you watch him prowl through the area slowly. He bends down to run his fingers over the rumbled sheets, the back of his hand lingers over your pillow case. 

He takes his time looking through the various knick knacks and cords littering your night stand. He doesn’t hesitate to ball the old picture of Jeremy into his fists. Its remains are tossed to the side without care. 

Did he toss the real Jeremy like that?

You make a vow to find him as soon as you make it on board. 

Assuming Neteyam hasn’t already hunted him down. 

You could look for whatever is left of Jeremy.

You can’t think about that now, though. Not as your heart is pounding against your ribs like a bird trying to escape a cage. Not when Neteyam lifts his mask for a sip of air as he plays with your tiny music box. 

He is gentle with all of your belongings, roaming through the area like a man that doesn’t have hundreds of Sky People to threaten off of his planet. Surely, he will have to leave soon. He’s just here out of curiosity, more of his stalker tendencies pushing him to invade your space. 

The music box looks like a Christmas ornament in his palm and you worry that he will accidently crush it. It was a pain in the ass to get and a possession you have always treasured because of that. Neteyam’s ears push forward when he finally figures out how to start the music and that delicate ballerina begins to twirl. 

“Maybe it’s all of your silly trinkets.” He breaks the silence, you startle slightly. He can’t be talking to you, you remind yourself. Neteyam thinks he is alone, just nosing through your old room as he thinks out loud. “Is that what you miss so much? What has you running off and acting naughty, little gift?” 

He’s bluffing. There is no way he could know you are here. Your scent has to be strong in the room but that’s to be expected since this was your living space. Ironically this should be the perfect place to hide away. 

“You know,” He starts, carefully placing the music box back down. “I was planning on letting you bring some of these funny things back to our kelku once you start behaving. A little incentive to be my good girl.” 

The knot in your throat is near impossible to gulp down and when you do, his ears twitch. You don’t want to believe it. How did he find you? You tug your legs closer to your chest as if you can contort yourself into a small enough ball that will magically disappear. 

“But it’s obvious now that you respond better to retribution than reward.” 

It’s a miracle that your lip doesn’t split from how hard your teeth press into it. Neteyam may not be able to track your scent here but the smell of blood would be a dead giveaway. All signs point to being caught but you aren’t ready to hand over the last shreds of hope yet. Neteyam doesn’t know about the cabinet. He’s bluffing about knowing you are here. No one has seen you. 

“We can revisit the idea of a reward system later, pet.” 

The muscles in your legs are cramping beyond relief, begging you to stretch out. You don’t heed these discomforts, too paralyzed by the proximity of your captor. Neteyam on the other hand appears deceivingly content and relaxed, rummaging through your things as if he has all the time in the world. 

He carefully opens your nightstand drawer and those hairless eyebrows raise immediately. The bras are tossed to the side with the same care as the picture but then tiny little lace fabric hangs from his fingers. It’s far from your greatest problem but your cheeks heat anyways when he carefully observes your light purple panties. 

Out of all the drawers to open it seems that Neteyam knows just the one to torment you with. 

“Then again,” The Olo’eyktan smirks. “These are quite cute.” And this time instead of inhaling from the respirator he soaks in the scent from the small fabric instead. Your thighs clench together. 

“Wouldn’t mind having my little tawtute model these for me.” He hums, while pulling out several more pairs. He tucks them away safely in a small pouch attached to his loincloth. “That is, once I finally get rid of this rebellious streak of yours.” 

You allow yourself a small sigh when Neteyam goes around to the other side of the bed, just enough distance for you to breathe properly. 

“Time to come out, little gift.” He squats down onto his haunches, prowling across the floor like a predator on track. He must be searching for you and if that is true then you may still have a chance yet. Neteyam may think you are in here but he doesn’t know where exactly. 

Thoughts race through your mind at a thousand miles per minute. They twist and twirl to find some way that you could get out of this situation unscathed. The doorway is visible through the slanted slits of the cupboard. With the proper footing you may be able to close that distance with a courageous leap. And maybe, just maybe that would be enough to catch Neteyam off guard and give you a head start. 

You make one fatal mistake, however. 

If there is one thing a good prey knows to do, it is to keep sight of their predator at all times. 

Your feet don’t even get the chance to hit the ground, instead dangling and thrashing once you are caught with a strong hold around your waist. Hoping is waning but disappointment sprouts into increased vigor as your nails digging into his arms and legs struggle to kick back at him. 

“YOU MOTHERFUCK-” Your cursing slings into a shriek when Neteyam grabs a fistful of your hair and uses it to strongly crane your head backwards. His golden eyes are dilated until only a thin rim of molten gold is visible. The weight of his angry gaze takes your breath away. 

“Enough.” He enunciates the word, like a drawn sword ready to slash. “Listen closely, pet.” The lump in your throat goes down with a strained gulp. “There is not an inch of this Sky Demon hell hole or corner of this planet that you can run to without being drawn back to me. You are mine and I’ve done well to mark my property.” The fingers intertwined in your hair tickle over the back of your neck, no doubt leaving the trail of his scent behind. “You reek of me.” 

Tears gather at the corner of your eyes and you flutter them closed to avoid his burning attention. 

“As you should.” His voice rumbles as nothing more than a growl against the nape of your neck. 

“I never asked for this!” Your fighting dimms down to nothing more than squirming as gritting the choked words out sucks your energy away. Before you can do anything to stop it, tears blaze trails down your cheeks. “Just let me go! Please!” 

“Quiet, pet.” 

Another yank to your hair and the words die on your lips. It’s clear now that the time for fun and games is over. Neteyam wastes no time in throwing you onto the creaky mattress and covering your body with his own until he becomes a shadow blocking out the fluorescent light above. His thighs straddle your waist, putting just enough weight down to keep you in place. 

“No more tears.” He sighs, with down turned lips, but doesn’t pause his bunching of your tee shirt. “It’s clear I’ve been spoiling you too much.” 

A broken grasp is pulled from your throat when he easily tears the shirt straight down the middle. You’re not sure what you are trying to accomplish as you swat at his working hands. The shirt was neither your favorite nor of great importance but you still try to stop the onslaught of ripping. 

Confused and overwhelmed you squirm as he rips it into wide ribbons of fabric and then without warning you are flipped onto your stomach. You scramble to crawl away but Neteyam’s plants a foot on your ass and that is unfortunately all it takes to pin you down. Your hands are snatched next, forced together behind your back as the ripped stripes of your own shirt are used as makeshift rope to tie your wrists together. 

Something about him using your own personal clothing to keep you bound for him has your legs kicking out fiercely. It won’t do much damage even if you manage to hit him, but there needs to be an outlet for your anger. You need to feel like there is still some wreckage for you to inflict. The last tiny shred of power that you cling to for dear life. 

Neteyam isn’t in the mood to put up with your outbursts. Much like a fresh kill from his hunting trips he keeps you pinned and makes quick work of binding you imobile. The action is so well rehearsed and instinctual in fact that he already moves on to his next task of destroying your shorts. 

Shrieks and small clawing fingers are simply background ambience for the Olo’eyktan as he works. Surprisingly the small tawtute sized Na’vi clothing is not exempt from the male’s destructive hands. They too become nothing more than rolling beads and scraps of fabric falling to the floor. 

Your string of bloody curses are only temporarily interrupted by your own gasp when Neteyam takes a seat on the bed and throws you over his knee in one swift move. Kicking is no longer an option for your rage when he swings one leg over both of yours. Blood rushes to your head but even dizziness can’t stop your violent outrage. 

However, it appears a cracking smack to your upturned ass can. 

The pain doesn’t ripple forward until a few moments after your shock has subsided. Neteyam has always had creative ways of punishing you but this is different. You’d figured that he would never lay a hand on you after all that he has droned on and on about how important it is to protect a fragile thing like you. 

But another hit accompanies the first and this time you can’t hold back your small squeak. 

“Just as I thought.” He spanks you again, his hand mercilessly hitting both cheeks with every strike. “You’ve been practically begging for a firmer hand.” The cry that the next rapid three slaps pull from you is one that you don’t recognize. 

“Pretty little things like you still struggle to remember their place.” 

“Stop! Stop!” You shriek, trapped legs still fruitlessly sprawling for escape. 

“Don’t worry, little gift.” He squeezes one of your pink cheeks after this last spank. “That’s what I am here for. I won’t let your silly little tawtute tendencies keep you away from me.” 

It doesn’t take long for the color of your backside to match your face as the blood drains to your head. Neteyam is persistent, hardly batting an eye at your cries and shrieks. From cursing to death threats, none of your spewed venom makes him flinch. If anything you manage to catch his small smirk when you twist to glare up at him. You don’t make that mistake again when you find this behavior only rewards you with condescending coos from the Na’vi. 

“That’s a good girl. Let all those nasty words go.” He purrs, heavy hand never letting up on your poor bottom. 

It’s this praise that has your mouth clamping shut. You hold back any and every sound you can as your ass takes a beating. Which is not a lot when the Na’vi male has unfathomable strength and your backside already feels like flames could erupt from it at any moment. 

“Oh pet, I’ve hardly even touched you and you’re already blushing so pretty for me.” Neteyam hums in delight, hand roaming over your burning ass like an art piece just waiting to be admired properly. 

Hardly even touched you?

Is this just his way of being an ass or are you truly that far from the finish line?

You jolt when one finger slips between the crack of your cheeks, teasing over your hole gently. A sound caught between a scream and whimper erupts from you without thought. Bound hands flatten and flail to cover the untouched area but Neteyam simply chuckles and lets his own hand retreat. 

“Mawey, tiyawn.” Neteyam pats your backside softly, almost in a casual reassuring manner. “Another day.” 

It’s hard to say what is more humiliating. Being bound and turned over the Olo’eyktan’s knee like a naughty child or the wetness trickling from your pussy at the feel of his teasing fingers in a place you’ve never dared let anyone else explore before. 

Pain is a great distraction from your humiliation. So much so that it eventually motivates you to dash pride to the side and begin your pleading. 

“A-ah Neteyam! I’m sorry! I’m sorry…eh-ah I-I’ll be good!” It’s not even clear what you are trying to say anymore. Your mouth runs on autopilot, throwing out any line of remorse in hopes of one doing the job. “I ngh-ah didn’t mean to! I won’t run! Can’t take anymo- ah! Neteyam!” 

He reigns his hits to warm the underside of your thighs too, moving between that vulnerable area and your ass in such an erratic way that it is impossible to anticipate where the next will land. 

Plea after plea is thrown out but resembles nothing more than garbled desperation, nothing that can pass as a full sentence.

However, one call catches his attention.

“Olo’eyktan please!” 

The sound of slapping skin stops. 

Tears continue to plunge down your cheeks even without the constant spanking, your ass burns and tingles in shock. The tuft of his tail poruses over your naked thighs, sending a sensation both painful and ticklish. 

“Repeat, pet.” 

“Wha-what?” You stammer, voice thick with tears. 

“What did you say?” That large hand comes down once more like a crack of lightning. 

“AH! Olo’eyktan O-Olo’eyktan please please please. No more no more!” 

He smooths over your knotted hair, pushing it away from your sweaty temple and tear stained face. It’s tempting to look away from his soft gaze but intuition tells you to let him see the trembling state he has left you in. Let him witness how pitiful and distraught a simple spanking has made you be. 

“I….I’m sorry, Olo’eyktan.” 

Neteyam smiles like one would at a lover, a tender pride lacing his lips. 

“You’re learning, pet.”

Putting batteries in that small remote was a mistake. A ridiculous useless mistake that now leaves you standing on shaky legs. The pink vibrator that has resided in your nightstand drawer dutifully on hand for years is now the source of your torment. 

Well, maybe not the source per say. 

No, the true origin of this humiliation stares back at you with knowing eyes and swatting tail, his large hand making that tiny remote look like a children’s toy. The vibrator buzzes inside of you on the lowest setting, but that relief can only last for so long with the way Neteyam enjoys jumping between the different levels. 

Every last shredded piece of your Na’vi and human clothing lays back on the floor of your old bedroom. The only savior of your decency is Neteyam’s cloak that he had thrown around your shoulders. With the size difference this cloak acts more like a dress and therefore gives you more coverage than you’ve had in a week yet somehow leaves you feeling more vulnerable than ever before. Trembling fingers never stray from the seams of the cloak, keeping it wrapped around you tightly as the crowds of humans and Na’vi continue to pass you. 

Neteyam has left you with one of the other Na’vi warriors but never out of his sight. It’s a miracle that your hands were cut loose in the first place but perhaps that is another sick joke the Olo’eyktan plays on you. He knows that you won’t run. He knows you can’t run. His attention and promised consequences for misbehavior are more than enough to keep you tucked in his pocket. 

That and of course his control over the rippling vibrations that torture your pussy. 

The nearest warrior is sure to be noticing your frazzled state by now. At least he has the decency to hide his interest, unlike another Na’vi that watched from the sidelines. Lo’ak, leaned against one of the hoverships like it’s a random Tuesday afternoon, watches with a small smirk and perked ears. If Neteyam notices, he doesn’t seem to have a problem with it because Lo’ak is left unbothered in his ogling. 

The tempo increases, the vibrator now picking a pattern of random pulses that bash against your sweet spot. Bottom lip bleeding now from your biting, it’s a struggle to keep your moans at bay. With the heavy machinery moving and hundreds of Na’vi and humans passing surely there must be enough noise to block out any degrading sounds you make. But you can’t take that risk. You’ve made the mistake of underestimating the Na’vi’s enhanced hearing before and that is what has landed you here. 

Neteyam twirls the tiny remote between his fingers like a fidget toy as another Na’vi warrior comes to report. 

You start to commiserate the loss of that ridiculous human sized loincloth Neteyam made you because at least then there was some fabric barrier to hide your wetness. Now, the thick Pandoran air runs up the cloak and over your soaked thighs and cunt. It reminds you constantly how pathetic you have become as orgasm after orgasm has escaped your grip. Even worse it reminds you how easy it is to carry that aroused scent through the breeze for all Na’vi to detect. At that rate, worrying about your noises is the least of your concerns. 

Lo’ak reloads the machine gun with practiced hands, moving with muscle memory so he can continue to stare and send silent messages your way. No doubt he is theorizing on what exactly his brother has done to diminish you to such a state. His eyes dance with those ideas, the little quirk of his lips telling you just how creative and vial his thoughts have turned. 

Another level up and this time it is Neteyam’s eyes that have you squirming. Your impending orgasm coils tighter and tighter with every passing second and you're so desperate to find some way to release this energy that your bare feet begin fidgeting against the concrete. It’s almost like a little dance, one that has Lo’ak laughing under his breath. 

It stops.

You breathe. 

There is some sort of commotion off in the distance. Not one that you can truly pin down the source of but you do notice the way Neteyam nods as a Na’vi female says something to him. With a wave she is dismissed and then the Olo’eyktan saunters off. Although slightly worried over the trouble, you are grateful for the respite. 

And then a nightmare unfurls before your eyes.

Instead of marching to the issue, Neteyam takes a pit stop to converse with his younger brother. Lo’ak’s tail whips in the wind at whatever is whispered in his ear but the real horror comes when that traitor of a remote is handed over to the younger Sully male. 

You are seconds away from stomping over there and crushing that pink little weapon before the other male can wield it. However, your dutiful guard places a hand on your shoulder after just one step. His eyes remain locked forward but the warning is enough as his hand retreats. You are still being watched. 

With one last glance your way, Neteyam has the audacity to give you, his little pet, a warm smile before leaving you in the hands of his brother. 

Lo’ak swings the gun around to his back in favor of playing with his new toy. Every dark and viscous fiber left within you is channeled into the glare you give him. It should say everything that your lips can not.

Don’t you dare.

Don’t you fucking dare. 

Now would be a good time to look into Na’vi curses, anything you could betrix upon him for what he is about to do, because of course Lo’ak won’t back down. If anything that fire in your eyes lights his own delight and has him sitting down and bracing forward. Forearms resting on his thighs he clocks your every movement.

This is sure to be the best entertainment the bastard has had in a long time. 

He savors the passing moments of anticipation. Never backing down from the ultimate seething looks you give him. Finally a crash sounds and that distraction is right when Lo’ak sets the vibrator to high. From zero to one hundred, pleasure rackets through you like a shock wave. The force is so much that it temporarily makes you stumble on your feet. The other guard wordlessly steadies you back into place. 

Lo’ak’s grin is feral. 

This silent battle slips between your fingers so quickly it is hard to comprehend, because all that can register in your brain is how fast you are hurtling towards an orgasm. After Neteyam’s denial your body is high strung and ready to take any sensation as fuel to push you over the edge. Nails digging into the soft fabric of Neteyam’s cloak, pleasure rockets higher and higher until only the whites of your eyes are visible. 

Knees bowing inward, ecstasy is finally yours. 

There isn’t enough energy left to question why Lo’ak let you reach your high. Instead you focus on riding that wave while simultaneously keeping upright. 

That persistent buzzing against your sweet spot continues until your nerves are short circuiting. The pleasure turns to overstimulation and you give Lo’ak a look that alerts him of this change. 

His amusement tells you that he already knows your predicament but his thumb remains far from the off button. 

Pathetic noises now bubble up your throat without restraint as pleasure ebbs into pain. It switches back and forth until another release is on the verge of consuming your being. The guard next to you doesn’t say anything when he helps to sit on the cold ground. 

The second orgasm has a bitter taste to it but your greedy pussy clenches around the toy all the same. It’s almost too bad that Neteyam decided not to gag you because at least that would muffle your cries as you rock down onto the toy. Lo’ak gulps at the sight, pupils blown wide when the first glimmer of tears scrape down your cheeks.

Regardless, he shows no mercy as he takes in the show with undivided interest. 

Vaguely you register the bustle and commotion around you as different Na’vi and humans rush to and fro, giant machinery finally backing into place but they are only background noise to your third orgasm. 

Your body is caught between delight and despair with every passing second. When you are close to reaching your peak for the fourth time your body is resistant to get you there all the way. The intense buzzing in your pussy is driving you wild but still not enough to drag out another orgasm after being too overstimulated. Despite the soreness that emanates from your wrecked hole, your clit throbs in agony. Begging to be touched. To be licked. Pinched. Flicked. God, anything at this point.

Memories of Neteyam doing just that surface, pushing you closer and closer to another dumbing climax and yet only serve as a reminder of how you are not getting the treatment you so desperately need. Pride is dashed to the side, you’ll worry about the consequences of grinding onto the toy in public later. 

Lo’ak’s hands roughly brush over his inner thighs and it draws your attention. The taunt muscle and smooth skin of those thighs would surely brush over your intimate flesh so perfectly. He would probably help you too, hands clawing at your hips as they urge you back and forth over the area. Even more so, the younger brother would not be able to pass up the opportunity to show his power over the situation, muscles flexing to tease your clit oh so beautifully. 

You’re not sure when Lo’ak became telepathic but he grips his knees and gives you a look that says he knows every dark desire that plagues your brain. His nails press into that soft flesh and drag until there are pretty red marks left behind. If you crawled over there sweetly, would he let you ride? Maybe if you healed those red marks with open mouthed kisses and kitten licks. 

Unaroused you would be ashamed of this train of thought but she is so far gone now. 

The only thing your poor abused cunt is begging for was attention. Anything to get this awful mix of heaven and hell to bleed into euphoric release and rest. 

The only thing stopping you from reaching down and finishing the job yourself is the assurance that Lo’ak would snip all pleasure in a bud at the sight of any touching. 

The area has been cleared of invaders. Na’vi begin to make their way off to the hills before take off but you are none the wiser. Caught in your own little bubble you don’t even notice when a sudden shadow blocks out the sun. That is until, large warm hands slip under the cloak and skate over your spread legs. 

Such a simple touch has never made you whimper more. 

Neteyam’s accent is thicker now, words heavy enough to hardly understand the meaning as he coos at you. “There’s my sweet pet. Little slut just wants to come again, don’t you?”

His fingers force your legs to spread even wider. Lo’ak’s stares as if his glare could heat up enough to burn through that cloak. 

With such delicacy it makes you want to scream, Neteyam uses two fingers to part your pussy lips and expose your pulsing clit. The other hand slithers down to rest on your thigh as you try to buck against the air. 

“Come for your Olo’eyktan, pet,” He growls and with the other hand he begins delivering rapid little taps to your clit. It’s humiliating how tiny the gesture that puts you over the edge is but you paint the toy white regardless. 

When the vibrator finally takes a rest you are too far lost in your own little world. Neteyam swaddles you in the cloak and carries you in his arm as you bury into his chest. And conveniently, when you are tucked back in the forest there is no awareness left in you to recognize the sound of launching ships. 

As always interaction and feedback not only means the world to me but also as a great motivator for writing and updating<3

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Let me know if I missed you. It's getting a littly tricky to keep track of everyone haha

[perpetuallydaydreaming]

you don’t really like me, you just think you do.

when james’ feelings did a 180, you find it hard to take him seriously.

warnings: no warnings, not proof read (bc lazy)

tags: fluff & angst, 5.9k wc, getting together, jamie being the best suitor, charlie (not weasely) is also here

when people asks you how it changed, you always say it was sudden.

suddenly, james was everywhere you look. suddenly, james was tripping and falling over you. suddenly, james fancied you.

as sudden as it was, it didn’t shock you as one would’ve expected. you always knew him to be as inconsistent in his school work, so you figured he would be inconsistent towards his feelings as well. what shocked you though, was that he liked you of all people.

all interactions with james had strictly consisted of school related-topics. you were in different houses and different social circles. so when he pulls you aside one morning in-between classes. you had expected one of two things; showing him how to do a bandaging charm, again or him asking you for a copy of your essays.

and it was to your absolute horror, that he proved how wrong you are.

“i like you and i hope you like me too.”

when people asks james how it changed, he always says it was gradual.

gradually, you became something he had looked forward seeing every morning. gradually, you had become a pivotal part of his day, every interaction cherished and replayed in his mind late at night. gradually, he had started falling for you.

as gradual as it was, it came as a complete shock for him. he had only viewed you as a friend, and even that was pushing it. you two barely talked to each other and when you did, it was always about school. you two were always paired up for some reason, and in his mind it became akin to fate. you started to occupy the large space that was once occupied by his lilypad and now replaced by you, your soft smile and the contradicting cynic replies.

and with fate working beside him to get you two as close as possible, james thought you figured the same. you were always so patient wth him, always ready to help him out. but your kindness sometimes came with snarky responses that he found oh so charming and witty. so when he excused you to talk, he had expected a successful attempt in snagging a date with you. even going as far as preparing a bouquet for you, he arranged himself.

and it was to his absolute horror, that you proved how wrong he is.

“um, no.”

and so became the norm. james had made it his life’s mission to actively pursue you. you gotta admit though, if he wanted something. he really goes all out.

it started with a daily routine with you every morning. james would wake up early and wait for you by the main floor near the grand staircase. his back against the rough stones, arms and ankles crossed, a boyish smile on his face the moment he would see you. he would beam a smile, cheeks denting, eyes shinning, and walk to you, offering a pleasant greeting of good morning, gorgeous. my, don’t you look ravishing this morning, grabbing your books and tote to carry for you. the first time he attempted this, you fought hard to deny his services. your hands like claws as you hold your things to your person. though he had hardly blinked then, maybe even looked a bit amused, even going as far as looking excited. the weirdo.

but it had been weeks now and frankly, you had grown tired of fighting with him every morning. especially, when he would always win in the end anyway. so now, you just let him do whatever he wanted. not like you have anything to complain about, your bag has always been pretty heavy.

he would flirt with you. constantly. shower you with compliments about things you hardly even think about sometimes. he had sung praises about your eyebrows the other day, and you had no choice but to bluster through it, to mask your flaming cheeks from embarrassment. but he’s not just all talk either, lately he’s worked up the courage to try to hold your hand — or something close to it. he would slowly walk closer to you, his pink lips going on and on asking you and complimenting you, telling jokes, a diversion—you realize. he would blindly extend his fingers, pinkies first, and when you would feel that first touch to your hand, your heart would do an awful jump. your skin would feel a little bit smaller, your brain blaring alarms, his pinky finger touched your hand, repeat it with increasing traitorous glee. this one, you haven’t stopped fighting. as each time you feel his hand touch yours, you would always create some distance between the two of you, no matter how crowded the corridor is, not that it hardly mattered to him, he looked like he’s won something each time he was successful.

today was no different. before the stairwell could even move, you can already see his dark messy hair waiting for you at one of the floors.

“i say, loverboy’s plenty persistent, hm?” charlie hummed, leaning over the railway, his pale eyes clear with amusement.

you scoff, fingers twitchy on the handle as you see him look up and glow into a smile as he locked eyes with you, “like a rash.” tearing your gaze from james potter down below to look ahead, “that would eventually go away.”

he raises an eyebrow at that, lips quirking into a smirk “really now? he’s been waiting for you every morning for the past months, i think this rash is here to stay. ”

you forced a tight lipped smile, “all in due time, i’m sure.”

clenching your hands when the stairs settle in, you walk down, gently meeting his bright honey eyes.

once you were close enough, he grinned, “good morning my sweet,” pushing himself off of the wall he was leaning against. like some infuriating roguish model. you like to think he practices ways on how he would look leaning against the stone wall. something he would drag his friends into helping him decide which one looked best, no doubt. you almost smile at the thought but stopped yourself when he says, “don’t you look as beautiful as ever.” he hummed.

his robes in his hands, his tie crisp and perfect, his white button-up wrinkle-free. his hair looking like something he’d desperately describe as artfully tousled but could only be ever perceived as messy. his cool bravado contrasting his rosy cheeks and ears. your heart doing that awful thing again.

“well, that’s my cue. see you both later.” charlie waved and you looked, giving him a nod goodbye.

you sighed through your nose, “potter.”

“try not to sound too happy now.” he teased. he let out his palms for you to place your tote and books, and like yesterday and the day before, you give it to him without complaint. “thanks,” you muttered, keeping in a snort of laughter as you see him wear your pink floral tote on his shoulders unabashedly.

“so, are you ready for your ancient runes test today?” he asks, once you two started walking to the great hall.

“how did you—?”

he shrugged, tousling his hair and looking down on you with a proud smile. “i know everything about you, darling.” (and that he does. albeit he had to beg and bribe his way for your friends to start sharing basic information about you. what your classes are, favourite colours, what you like, dislike —because merlin forbid you actually share things about yourself. all without you knowing of course. wouldn’t want you to think of him as weird.)

you gave the weirdo a suspicious stare before shaking your head, “i think i’m ready. i mean, i studied everything i could. i revised three books for it and even did flashcards.”

“well i bet my hair, you’re gonna do just great.” he grinned, softly nudging your shoulder. “you always have.”

rolling your eyes, “thank you, although i don’t really need you hair.”

“well, just tell me which limb you want and i’ll give it to you.” spreading his arms apart, your bag sliding on his arms with his movement. grinning wide and wiggling his eyebrows. leaning into your face.

your face screwing up into a grimace, and pushing his face away with your knuckles, “the same goes for any anatomy or anything you offer me, i’m afraid.”

the persistent blighter just grinned, looking all too proud of himself for whatever reason.

you were about to turn towards the library, but he grabbed your arm and clicked his tongue, “eat breakfast first,” his fingers firmly wrapped around your inner elbow, denting the soft skin there.

“i have to study,” you say firmly, hoping your voice won’t crack.

“you studied enough, now let’s go.” a little tug from him and you were compliant. something he had looked pleasantly surprised by, if the denting cheeks were any indication.

once he felt you weren’t fighting him from pulling you to the great hall, he let you go. warm big hands leaving your arms.

he started talking about his plans, letting you know when he’s available and when he’s busy. asking about yours in turn — and like always sharing nothing. not that he’s deterred. it’s near the hall’s entrance when you feel his gaze at the side of your face, “—after practice though, i’m going to be fairly free the rest of the night.” that familiar lilt in his voice.

breathing in deep, knowing what’s coming next. “so i was thinking, that maybe we could meet up near the lake - have an afternoon picnic.” you turn to look at him and see him rub the back of his neck. the action causing his biceps to bulge out, pulling the fabric taut against his skin. a treacherous thought passing in your mind.

breathing in slowly, you close your eyes to refocus on his face. warm hazel eyes pleading, hopeful, still just like that first time.

“no thank you,” entering the hall just as james opens the door for you.

he frowns, no, pouts. “why not?”

“i just don’t want to.” you walked to your usual seat in the ravenclaw table and james following behind you closely.

“i guess, that’s fair.”

james still in his head, muttering about cancelling with the elves, as he went to unconsciously grab your hand to guide you into your seat. you flushed at the new action, but nonetheless take a seat anyway. he slowly let your bag slip away from his shoulders place it neatly to your side.

“i’ll walk you to the library after you eat, so wait for me, okay?” he smiled gently down at you like you haven’t just rejected him. giving your friends a few nods of acknowledgments before sitting with his friends already there waiting for him.

you hear a few teasing oohs from your friends causing you to get out of your stupor and shoot glares at them. “don’t even.”

it was no public secret that james had been determined to ask you out on a date for the past months. and each time he did, his plans only becoming more elaborate than the last.

the first time he had asked, it was in the corridor in-between classes. people scattering to get where they needed to be. you were no different until a large bouquet with large and colourful flowers arranged messily in wrinkly cellophane and tight ribbons. you remembered his face then, noting how red and shy he looked. he had been stammering and restarting his spiel to you. you saw your friend gesturing for you to hurry, but oddly enough. you stayed rooted to the spot, curious for what’s to come.

“i like you and i hope you like me too!” he might as well be screaming, as the people around you two stopped and stared. the hall now deathly silent, awaiting your response. you flushed at the attention, and grabbed james by the elbow. walking swiftly to the more secluded area at the end of the hall.

once you two were alone, you see those hopeful eyes of his and his nervous smile. his face was still laughably red and the flowers still upright, tightly clutched in his hands.

“um no,” standing up straighter, “i don’t know what transpired for you to do this but, no.”

you can practically see him deflate then, the flowers lowering from his chest to his side. “no?”

“no.”

“i thought—“ he gulped, stepping towards you. but you raise a hand stopping him. clearing your throat before uttering,

“potter, what about evans?”

he tilted his head, hair flopping in his eyes, and a frown on his pink lips. “what about her?”

you scoff a humourless laugh, hands wildly waving in front you. your bag slipping but continued to say,

“what about her? potter, you’ve liked her since—well since, forever and now you want me to believe you like me now?”

“yes.” he nodded, eyebrows scrunching now. looking frustrated like it was obvious.

you laugh in disbelief, muttering lowly, “how fickle.”

“fickle?”

you freeze, shamed he heard you. waving your hands nonchalantly, an easy smile on your face, “you know frequently changes, inconsistent.”

“i know what fickle means, i’m not an idiot.”

you sputter a short laugh at his indignant tone, “what? are you mad at me now?”

huffing through his nose and pouting, “i’m not mad at you, i’m mad at the situation—“

“fickle! you just confessed looking all shy and now you’re glaring—“

“i am not glaring.”

“fickle!” you laugh, pointing at his scrunched up face. his face now red for a different reason.

“i’m not!” he groans, “i really like you and i want to date you.”

reaching up to place a hand on his shoulder, ignoring the way he tensed up and gotten even redder, “no, you don’t. these feelings will eventually pass. trust me.”

james hadn’t replied then, and just as you were about to leave, he thrusted the flowers in your face once again.

“no, potter—“

shaking his head, “no, these are for you. regardless of your answer.” showing you a small dimpled smile, compelling you to take them without anymore argument. the cellophane rustling in your hand. the flowers looking like they’ve been randomly arranged, like someone just chose the biggest and eye catching flowers and bundled it together.

you try not to imagine james picking the flowers himself and getting pink ribbons to tie it all together. tongue poking at his cheek in concentration as he struggles to arrange the flowers like the professionals. it wasn’t an image you saw before, but found yourself easily picturing it nonetheless.

“thank you...”

and you thought that was the end of it. he’ll start to ignore you now because you bruised his pride. maybe even go back to talking to lily evans again.

you try not to think of the swirling disappointment in your stomach, nor the twinge of something else mixed in.

but when you got down from the ravenclaw tower, the next day. off to start your day in the library. there he was, leaning against the wall, arms crossed.

james potter was waiting for you, a radiant smile etching on his face once he saw you.

since then, you had been subjected to various ways james had planned to asked you out. ranging from spelling out your name with an invite in the sky to literally riding a white horse during class and asking if he could whisk you away. all had been met with either an indifferent stares or a horrified wide-eyed gape. after two weeks of feeling complete dread and embarrassment, to the possibilities james potter has in store for you. he suddenly stopped. retiring fireworks and floating parchment of invitations, to normal folded ones inserted in your books. no longer charming his voice so it could be heard all over school to hear him declare his affections, but instead softly asking you in private instead.

it was obvious you had taken a liking to the quieter, more discreet versions rather than the former.

because the first time he did, james had gathered a lock of your hair between his fingers and tucked them behind your ear, whispered low and slow and so close to your ear, as he uttered:

“go on a date with me,”

you were blushing up a storm, then. face warm to the touch and eyes averting frantically to every corner in the library except his eyes. frustratingly aware of his fingers still touching your ear.

he had looked at you then, shock written all over his face before a shy grin took over his face. rubbing his hand over his mouth and tugging the corner of his mouth to stop himself from grinning at your reaction.

he had also been rejected that time but he decided your reaction was reward enough.

you look at your watch and saw you had around an hour left to read up on your other subjects before your first lesson starts.

taking the last few bites of breakfast before james, who had noticed the time as well, had walked over and was already grabbing the things you pulled out of your tote, placing it neatly inside. plopping to the seat beside you.

“you ready to go, pretty?” he quipped.

quickly nodding as you hastily clean your section of the table and said your goodbyes to your friends. pointedly ignoring the wiggling eyebrows and teasing hoots of pretty.

james had offered a hand to help you stand up but you ignored it and stood on your own.

“did you eat a lot?” leaning to have a good look at your face.

you nodded, “a bit. they had scrambled eggs, so i had a full plate.”

james nodding, a happy smile on his face. “good, good.” turning to look in front of him and opening the heavy doors for you all the while adjusting your tote on his shoulders. “listen, there was a schedule change for pitch practice so i’ll be a bit busy starting tomorrow. i’m sorry, sweets.”

“okay.”

he hummed, thoughtful. “i’ll try to still be around and walk you to your classes in between breaks—we’ll see how that goes. try not to miss me too much, yeah?” a teasing smile on his lips.

you rolled your eyes, oblivious to the days ahead.

“oh,” charlie said, leaning over to the railing.

“what?” following his gaze and looking over to the glaringly, strangely vacant spot. “oh,”

now staring at you with a teasing glint in his eye. “i see mr. loverboy’s not in today.” the smirk on his face making you roll your eyes.

“managed to finally scare him off, did ‘ya?” he supplies.

“if only,” crossing your arms, “he said he’ll be busy with quidditch practice.”

when the stairs settled in, charlie turned to you. “it’s certainly nice to know he has other hobbies other than bothering you.”

“bothering me?” adjusting the strap of your tote on your shoulder.

he quirked an eyebrow, an inquisitive look on his face “he doesn’t bother you anymore?”

“nonsense, you know he does.”

“interesting,”

you look at him with a frown, hating the teasing, the all knowing tone he always uses when you missed something. “what?”

“nothing!” you gave him an exasperated stare and raised your eyebrow, raising his hand in the air and chuckled, “i just noticed you getting a bit soft on ‘im, that’s all.” tapping his chin, “you don’t look that bothered to me, is what i’m saying. and you never say so anymore.”

your face warmed. is that what it looked like to others? is that potter thinks? that you’re going soft on him now? you scoff, tightening your hold on your bag and adjusting the sliding strap. “do i really have to announce it every time i’m pissy with him?”

he’s humming, a certain skip in his step that makes you want to trip him, “no, but i can tell you’re at least tolerating him now. friends, maybe?”

“tolerating does not equate friendship, sorry to say.” you know, it isn’t. being with james doesn’t feel at all like how it is with charlie.

“an assistant then?” mirth clear in his eyes as he said that. charlie the pale mutt having way too much fun with this.

pursing your lips in an annoyed frown, “i’d like to think he doesn’t qualify enough to be my assistant.” adjusting the slipping strap of your bag.

he laughs, grabbing your tote off your shoulder, and sliding it to his. “you’re not even used to holding your bag anymore, since he always carry it for you.”

“so?”

“so,” looking pointedly at you, as he counts on his fingers, “he’s not a friend, he doesn’t qualify to be your assistant… what is he then?”

you blinked, the question wasn’t anything new. if anything it was a question you started hearing quite frequently, after james potter’s many attempts to woo you. the questions before, however, carried a chaffing tone meant to tease or pull a reaction. but now, with charlie peering curiously at you, and the many weeks you’ve talked with james. the question now carry a different tone.

but still you remain nonchalant, regardless of the warming cheeks and ears. you huffed,

“a pet.”

it was on the same day after one of your classes when you saw him waiting for you. he was still wearing his practice kit and gloves. it looked as if he had rushed over here, with his hair windswept all the more messier than usual. his hazel eyes more alert, brighter—something you find always happens after he plays.

he looked up when he saw the swarm of students leaving the room, eyes immediately meeting yours and the familiar smile that goes with it. his cheeks tinted pink, maybe from the cold wind gushing outside or, dare i say it, seeing you. you ignore the spreading warmth in your stomach, your skin shrinking and your judas heart thudding like a fluttering hummingbird.

the smile he shot your way, was a soft little smile. something you learned he did if he was sorry about something.

“hello, sweets.” he said once close enough. he had reached out then, grabbing your things out of your arms and you giving it to him out of habit. “did you have a good morning?”

your voice seemed to be unresponsive as you just nodded. still raking over his face and figure. like it was your first time seeing him, an urge to reach out. as if you didn’t see him yesterday.

“sorry, i wasn’t there to greet you in the morning.” rubbing the back of his neck. “the team wanted an early practice.”

“oh, i barely noticed.” you lied.

a lie he seems to have caught on himself, if the bashful smile on his face is anything to go by. his cheeks with pretty divots— an urge to dig your thumbs in there greater than ever. no, you think. clenching your hands tight to your sides. fucking charlie with his absurd ideas.

when the last student left the hall, the two of you were left in silence. him staring sparkles at you and you desperately avoiding it.

clearing your throat, you started to walk in the direction of your next class.

“anyway it’s fine, you’re captain now. so more responsibilities is inevitable, i say.”

he slipped your bag into his shoulders and started rearranging your books in his arms. “you know i made captain?”

“you told me, didn’t you?” you frown. you could have sworn he did. it was the day he had drawn hearts all over the margin of your notes, writing both yours and his initials in a heart. the sopping sap.

he stood up straighter, eyes widening in wonder. “you remembered,”

“is that so surprising?” clicking your tongue, slightly offended he thinks you would disregard the things he says. you had manners.

he immediately shook his head, a bright smile took over his face that you had no choice but to look away.

“i’m more surprised you actually have the time to even walk me to class.”

he shakes his head, “i’ll always make time for you!” he exclaimed, slightly bumping your shoulder. “did you think i’d let you go on a day without seeing my face at least once?”

“ah yes, because seeing you is such a gift, no?” you said, you’re voice void of emotions. but he continues undeterred.

“and because i’m so generous, i’ll try to meet you like this tomorrow too.” he beamed, puffing his chest.

a clear image enters your brain. you think of james rushing from the practice grounds to the classrooms in the higher floors. imagine him barely having anytime to rest or even drink water if he were to walk you to your classes and go back to the pitch in time. imagine himself slump against the stone wall in front of the door, steadying his breathing so he wouldn’t look tired or worn, putting on his usual, irritably handsome smile. you imagine him having to rush back, making him even more tired than he has to be. imagine him not performing his best.

the image vivid in your head because he would most likely do just that. and that fact didn’t sit well with you for some reason, “what for? won’t that be an inconvenience to you?”

“it’s not an inconvenience.” he says lightly.

“but isn’t the practice field far from here?” you frowned. it was at two flights of stairs, and a long walk to the covered bridge to the school grounds to the quidditch pitch. it had to be at least a 15 minute walk

his smile slowly started to leave his face as if sensing something wrong. “not that far—” turning to look at you.

you raise an eyebrow, as if scolding, “didn’t you rush over here?”

he shook his head, curls strands flopping over his eyes, “only a little bit—“

“potter, you don’t have rush over here for that.”

“but how can i walk you to your next class if i don’t hurry?”

“that’s what i’m saying,” rolling your eyes, “you don’t have to walk me to class, we can just focus on our own thing for a while—“

now a small frown on his face, “but i want to.”

“and i’m telling you, i don’t need you to. you can focus on your training more rather than rush to walk me in-between classes.” waving off as if it was nothing. you didn’t want him giving up precious break time for something menial like walking you to class.

he stops walking, eyes now filled with frustration. you groan inwardly, plenty sure you won’t be able to reach your class in time. “i just want to spend a little bit of time with you, is that so bad?”

you laugh awkwardly, “this is barely spending time with each other. it’s just a walk to class—”

“so what? you’re saying no to walking with me now?”

you groan out a laugh, pushing your hair out of your face. the idea of it creating an unpleasant twist in your stomach. “that’s not what i’m saying,” softly rubbing your temples, already feeling the migraine forming over the escalating topic.

“then what?”

“spending a little time apart is better, i don’t need you doing all of this for me. carrying my stuff and walking me to class, or waiting for me in the morning. i don’t need any of it. so apologizing or trying to make up for it is unnecessary.”

he laughs in disbelief, “unnecessary?” he parrots, “why can’t you just let me do things for you? why do you always have to fight with me about everything?”

“i don’t want you to!” you exclaimed.

he is being difficult. you were just saying this for his sake. he was the one who said he needed to practice more and now that you tell him to focus on that, he goes off on you.

“i know, but i want to do these things for you because i like you! this is what people do when they like somebody, y/n. they do stuff for them without being asked to.”

rolling your eyes, just ready to end the conversation as you spew the things in your brain mindlessly. “oh seven hells! you don’t like me! you just think you do!”

he took a step forward eyes blazing in irritation, “and you just know that for sure, yeah?”

“yes, potter. i know this for sure.”

he scoffs out a disbelieving laugh, “why is it so hard for you to take my feelings seriously?”

you took a step back, not expecting his question. “what?”

“did someone hurt you before?”

“no-“

“lie to you? trick you?”

”no, what—?”

“then i don’t understand,” staring at you, eyebrows scrunched and hazel eyes blazed with sadness. “is there something wrong with me—?”

you were about to reach out to him, apologize. or clarify. or anything just to make him stop looking like that.

“why can’t the person i’m interested in, like me back?”

you stop, an ugly green emotion engulfing your chest. of course, you thought. your next class be damned. as you face contorts into a sneer as you spat out the words,

“so that’s what this is about?” you scoff, “years of rejection from evans, you turn to the easiest target you can get, so you can feel good about yourself?”

anger taking over his face, “what—?”

“just admit it, you’re pursuing me because you’re frustrated she didn’t reciprocate your feelings.”

“—you think i see you as someone easy? you think i would actually do that to you?”

you straightened your posture, “you can’t be mad at me for simply laying down the facts.” completely disregarding the fact you’ve implied you’d be a willing participant to his wooing if he weren’t so fickle.

adjusting the strap of your bag on his shoulder, mumbling, “i can’t believe this.” and now in a louder voice. “and what are your facts, then?”

“you claimed to love evans, fact.” he scoffs, but you continue. “she rejects you, fact. you start to realize there are other girls in our year and then you see little ole me, fact. you start to build unto this idea of starting something with me because for whatever reason your brain seems to think it’s a good idea, fact.”

shaking his head, “even if that were all true, i like you now.”

“and how long until that changes too?” you counter, looking straight at him. angry tears building in your eyes.

“what? it’s not going to change. ” he stepped forward, and you step back.

“you have been nothing in life but be inconsistent.”

his face twists into a frown. “that’s not true,”

“oh really?” you nodded, your voice getting louder in the quiet halls, “you were the best student during our first year but then you stopped trying. you were on your way to becoming a prefect until you decided you didn’t want to anymore. you were going to turn down becoming captain if it weren’t for black threatening to quit unless you accepted. i mean, really james potter,”

a bitter laugh came tumbling out of your mouth, “you’ve been in love with this girl ever since you were eleven, and now you aren’t.” you breathed, “how will i know you won’t stop liking me too?”

looking into his eyes, waiting for an answer that doesn’t come, you grabbed your bag and books from him and walked away.

“that’s what i thought.”

you didn’t see james after that. not in the morning after and not in-between classes. you thought it was because of quidditch practice again. but when the week ended and still no sign of him, you felt something heavy drop in your chest.

you labelled it as guilt (though charlie have insisted it to be something else—something else he refuses to tell).

guilty you raised your voice and basically criticized him for doing something nice for you. started overthinking you might’ve struck a nerve you shouldn’t’ve, considering you weren’t really friends to begin with. charlie did always say you were a bit loose with your choice of your words. you were the type to offend somebody even without meaning to, he says.

now, it has been days since you last spoke to james and things hasn’t felt right since.

your tote bag keeps slipping off of your shoulder. your books seems heavier now and harder to hold. now, the eggs served at breakfast were never scrambled— always a shitty sunny side up. you can’t concentrate in class. you keep looking for a tall head of curly hair, everywhere you go and you keep feeling the inevitable disappointment when it isn’t the person you were looking for.

it was getting harder and harder keeping your usual composed demeanor. and if charlie noticed anything different with you, he didn’t say anything. until now that is,

“okay this whole thing is getting pathetic.” he sighed. plopping down next to you in the ravenclaw common room.

you look at him, frown seemingly placed permanently on your face nowadays. “i’m sorry?”

he nodded, “yeah, you should be sorry. because you let a good bloke like potter go.” you sat up, “and all because of your refusal to accept that he might actually like you.”

you roll your eyes grumbling, “you don’t know anything,”

“i know you like him,” he huffs, “and for some reason you refuse to admit it.”

you took a deep breath, the glare you had on, softening as you look away.

you didn’t bother correcting him because, well, he was right. you had been dancing around your feelings for so long, you were sure the mask of indifference had already slipped off without your knowledge. you slumped, a whispered sigh as you muttered, “why would i even bother? i know he’ll change his mind.”

charlie had looked taken aback, clearly he expected more fight from you. you huff, you weren’t so emotionally inept that you would continue to deny it any longer. considering how long you’ve been denying yourself of the truth. maybe just a smidge of denial still, but seeing how that rather blown up in your face, it was time to face the music.

and after a while he said, “did he tell you that?”

fiddling with your hands, you say scoffing, “did he tell me he’ll eventually leave me? no,”

“are you clairvoyant then?”

you huff a short laugh, “you know, i think that’s rubbish.”

he offered a smile, “then how do you know he’ll change his mind?”

you sigh, shrugging your shoulders, “i don’t know,”

“and you’ll never know unless you get up and tell him you like him.”

“but what if he changes his mind?” looking at your friend properly now, “what if he suddenly decides he doesn’t like me anymore. hell, he probably doesn’t anymore.”

he shook his head, “he hasn’t. he won’t.”

“but what if?” you whine.

rolling his eyes, “on the off chance that he does, then at least you can say you tried. that for a short while you were happy.“ patting your back, “and isn’t that better?”

you scoff, looking away. “no, that’s definitely worse.”

it was a two days after you and charlie had a talk. and it was during these two days that you and your friends discussed ways on how to make up with james.

you’d think a group of ravenclaws could come up with clever ways to solve your problems. but when one of your friends suggested painting a mural for their honour, and another telling you to pretend like you passed out in front of him—made you realize your friends were as hopeless as you are.

but it turns out, you didn’t really have to.

you were on your way to the ravenclaw tower, when it happened.

you saw james walking towards you. strides large and with purpose. you can practically see his eyes blaze with determination.

you were never big on confrontation, especially when you’re the one being confronted. so you did what anyone would have done, turn and speed walk the other way.

you were about to turn the corner of the hall, out of his sight when you hear him call out to you.

“y/n please,”

you stop, the desperation in his voice echoing in the halls. you hear his footsteps behind, speeding its pace. before slowly turning around to face him.

“james i-“

he shook his head, breathless as he says, “you know i’m a bit cross with you.”

you nod, “yes. you should be, i-“

“you didn’t let me respond to you that day.”

“what?”

his lips pursed, “when you asked me, if i’ll stop liking you.”

you shook your head, embarrassed. “no, you don’t have to-“

“i don’t know if i’ll stop. all i know is, i like you y/n. and i’m not going to say it’s always been you because i did like her.” he looked at you, eyes clear and sure as ever,

“i liked her when i didn’t even know what liking someone meant. and when i did, i realized it wasn’t the like i thought i had for her. i admired her, sure, but what i felt for her is not even comparable to what i feel for you now. you make me want to become a better man. you make me want to make something of myself. you keep me grounded but you also make me feel like i could fly. you’re the most amazing person, i know and it’s frustrating to think you don’t see yourself the same way i see you.

“and i know you like me too, you can try and pretend all you want but i can tell. because you always listen to me even when you pretend not to. you always have a small smile on your face whenever i come see you in the morning. and then you act as if you don’t care. you always refuse my gifts at first but i know all the things i’ve given you is still in your room. i know you turned the first bouquet into bookmarks. you like me as much as i like you and i know part of the reason why you won’t acknowledge it is because you’re scared. and i can’t exactly blame you because of that. but i’m willing to prove to you that you have nothing to be afraid of. i’ll study harder in school, i’ll take up more responsibility, i’ll prove to you, i can see things through. if you could just give me a chance because you make me want to try, dammit.”

he took a couple of steps forward until he was right in front of you. reaching for your hand and softly engulfing yours with his. never realizing how big it is compared to yours. when you didn’t pull away, he looked at you in the eyes, adjusting his grip so it was intertwined and softly breathing out the words,

“every time i look at you, i feel like my heart is about to jump out of my damned chest. i like you, y/n. i like so much i already wrote to my parents about you.“

he looked at you so softly then, eyes wide in hope.

what do you say to that? james potter the most charming boy in school, your crush ever since you were a first year, likes you. you bit your lip, fighting the growing smile on your face and failing as you utter back,

“all good things i hope.”

he gives a dimpled grin back, “the best, truthful things.”

you cleared your throat, “well, james potter,” tightening your grip on his hand, your meeting that meeting hazel.

“i like you, and i hope you like me back.” you whisper, ignoring the hummingbird in your chest, the alarms in your heads and the tightening skin.

he bit his lip and pulled you flush against him. arms now wrapped around your waist. “no,” he breathed out a laugh, grabbing your cheek before leaning in and slotting his lips with yours into a giddy kiss.

your thumbs slipping into the pretty divots in his cheeks, as soft and smooth as you’ve always imagined them to be.

[youremyheaven]

Vedic Astrology Observations

1. Punarvasus tend to be very spiritual if not religious. They find peace in prayer. Another thing I've noticed is that they are very sexually conservative (probably because of their cat yoni). Mariah Carey, Punarvasu Moon was a virgin when she married her first husband and waited until marriage to be intimate with her second husband as well. She was engaged to James Packer for 18 months and they reportedly never had a physical relationship.

Miranda Kerr, Punarvasu Moon was in a relationship with Evan Spiegel for 3 years and waited until marriage. Drew Barrymore, Punarvasu Moon has said that she's been celibate since her divorce in 2016.

2. Mariah Carey, Punarvasu Moon speaking of the nature of light & time , her memoir has multiple chapters titled with light-related names and even sooo many of her songs , including Butterfly (Punarvasus are connected to butterflies)

3. Moksha gana nakshatras embody the trickster archetype. They also often argue or provoke people simply for the heck of it. 2/3 Moon ruled naks (Rohini & Hasta) are Moksha gana and it makes sense as to why they fuck with people just because they can, they have nothing to gain from it and it serves no purpose, they're evil for the heck of it. They'll go to any length to ruin you even if they ruin themselves in the process.

Moksha means liberation in Sanskrit (Sanskrit is a classical language like Latin that is pretty much only used in a scholarly context) and is one of 4 purusharthas or motivations assigned to the 27 naks. The others are artha (wealth) kama (pleasure) and dharma (duty). Moksha would be located at the very top of Maslow's hierarchy of needs, which means an individual with Moksha gana naks has transcended all the other base level motivations of accumulating wealth, seeking pleasure and doing one's duty. What is left to do now? If an individual is evolved, they actually seek liberation through their spirituality but if they are not, not only are they unbothered by any ordinary human motives, they lack the ability to devote themselves to anything ordinary because they simply dont care about getting a job or building a house or whatever. this means they also kind of exist beyond normal social norms?? go up against a Moksha gana native/Moon dominant person and the kind of arguments they'll use against you will reveal this nature of theirs. like they will have zero issue using your every vulnerability and insecurity against you just to win an argument or put you down. they hate to look "weak" so they will tear you apart just because they can, with no regard for any history you share. there are people who defend this by saying "oh well i was mad" babygirl everybody gets mad, but if someone isnt raising their voice, being petty or singling you out and bringing up your past to make you crumble, its not because they're incapable of it, its because they have principles.

Moksha gana naks love to play devil's advocate.

4. Rahuvians have bad memory, they probably repeat the same stories in different ways every few weeks lol

5. Saturnian women often marry billionaires according to Claire Nakti and I recently found some more examples of that:

** Mariah Carey, UBP Sun was engaged to Australian billionaire, James Packer who used to date Miranda Kerr, Pushya Rising (both these women are also Punarvasu Moon), Miranda is now married to the CEO of Snapchat.

** Lisa Manobal, UBP Sun is dating Frederic Arnault, a French billionaire

** Elle Macpherson, UBP Sun was in a relationship with Arpad Busson with whom she had 2 kids (he's not a billionaire but he does have a net worth of $500 million)

6. Nominative determinism, literally "name-driven outcome", is the hypothesis that people tend to gravitate towards areas of work that reflect their names.

but i thought i'd use it in the context of astrology and how most people are subconsciously given names that reflect their nakshatras

ex: Angelina Jolie

the name Angelina is an expansion of Angela which is derived from the Greek word Angelos which means "Angel" or "messenger". Angelina has Revati Moon which is a deva ("godly" nakshatra) and Jolie is the French word for "pretty" and Angelina has Venus in 1h and is Pushya Rising (these were two of the biggest beauty indicators according to Claire's research)

(its so cute to me that her name is literally Angel Pretty bc damn right she is)

Yara Shahidi (Revati Moon)- Yara is the name of a water spirit and in Portuguese it means "Water lady" (Yara has stated that her name means one who is close to your heart, but names can have several different meanings) and Shahidi means "witness" in Persian. I feel like all of that really ties together with Revati being in pisces rashi and the last nakshatra that is "witness" to everything else etc

[thebibliosphere]

I saw your post about ingram, and out of curiosity, is there some advantage to going through the whole self-publishing thing with retailers when you're just starting out? like I mean the way that fandom zines work is that they don't even bother going through ingram or amazon or whatever. they just set up a social media site (usually twitter) to gain followers, open preorders (usually 1-2 months in length) to generate the costs of printing upfront, and then sell anywhere from a few dozen to several hundred copies of their books (usually artbooks, but anthologies exist too). I've seen some zines generate over a thousand orders. they're kind of like pop-up shops, except for books. maybe the sales numbers aren't so impressive to a real author, but the profit generated is typically waaaay more than the $75+ apparently needed for Ingram Spark, so I still feel like new authors could benefit from this method too, especially if they just need some start-up cash to eventually move to ingram if they want to for subsequent runs of their book. I think authors would also have to set aside some of the pre-order money to buy an ISBN number to have printed on their book, and I'm not really sure what other differences there are, but I just wanted to ask about it in case there's some huge disadvantage I'm missing!

So, popup zines work well for some people, and I know some authors who kickstart their work successfully. But for a lot, it's just not feasible as a long-term stratedy. Or even as a means to get off the ground.

Fanzines succeed primarily because an existing fanbase is willing and ready to throw money at something they love. They’ve got a favorite writer or artist they want to support. Supporting all the others is just a happy by-product. They also take a HUGE amount of short-term but intense planning that just doesn’t always jive with how some of us work.

I, for one, would never offer to organize a fanzine. I’ll take part in them as a creator, but I’d rather throw myself off a cliff than subject myself to wrangling that many people and dealing with the legal logistics.

When it comes to authors doing anthologies, it'svery much the same. The success of the funding often hinges on having other big-name authors involved whose existing fans will prop up the project. Or having a huge marketing budget.

Most self-pub authors have zero marketing budget. I’m one of them, and I’m under no illusions that my work would not be as popular and self-sustaining as it is if I didn’t have a large Tumblr blog.

When I thank Tumblr in my forewards, I am utterly sincere. Tumblr brought fandom levels of enthusiasm to an unknown work and broke the Amazon algorithm so hard, that Amazon thought I was bot sniping my way to multiple #1 spots and froze my sales rankings.

That’s not the norm. And while I could probably kickstart my own work as an indie creator, that’s because I’ve put literal decades into building up a readership. I’ve been doing this since I was 16 and realized people thought I was funny. I didn’t know what to do with it or if I’d ever actually write anything, but it meant the groundwork was already there (thank you, past-me). I basically fell upward into my success by virtue of never being able to shut the fuck up and wanting to make people laugh. Clown instincts too strong.

New or first-time authors trying to sell their work without that will find it infinitely harder.

All of that aside, even if an unknown author somehow gets lucky and manages to fund their work, there’s still the question of shipping and distribution logistics. Are you shipping everything yourself? Better hope you’re able-bodied and have the time for it. (for reference, it took me months to ship out 300 patreon hardbacks because of my disabilites. It damaged my back and hands. I couldn’t type for several weeks after I was done.)

Are you going to sell primarily at conventions? Better hope you’re able-bodied, have the time and don’t have cripling anxiety about being in large groups...

Also, will selling a dozen to a few thousand copies in one burst be sustainable in the long run as a career? Not for me. Doing things via Ingram and Amazon means I earn a steady trickle of sales for the rest of my life provided the platforms remain and so long as I keep working and can generate interest in the series, not just when I have funds to pay for physical copies to sell. The one-time (in theory) cost of $75 to distribute through Ingram gets paid off pretty quick that way. And it doesn't require the same logistics as doing the popup/crowdfund.

Ultimately, it comes down to what you are capable of but also the type of work you’re doing. If you’ve got an extended network of fellow creatives who will back you or you’ve got a large following elsewhere, doing it like a popup might work for you.

If you’re an exhausted burnout who can’t fathom the short but intense amount of organization that sort of thing requires, not to mention doing it over and over and over... Ehhhhh. No thank you.

[autball]

ND = Neurodivergent, which means anyone with a neurobiology that operates differently from what society has deemed “the norm.” (Social skills classes are most often recommended for autistic people, but not exclusively. So ND is not being used here as a stand in for “autistic” only, but in the most inclusive way possible.)

NT = Neurotypical, which means anyone with a neurobiology that operates comfortably within what society has deemed “the norm” (aka neuronormative culture).

When the people behind teaching social skills to autistic people got the idea, they were operating under the assumption that we simply didn’t have any social skills. Essentially, they thought there were holes in our programming just waiting for someone to insert the missing code that would enable us to run the “regular human” software bug-free.

However, their premise was deeply flawed, because we already have social skills. AUTISTIC social skills. So when they put us in these social skills programs, they’re actually trying to overwrite pre-existing code, not fill in some empty gaps.

Not only does this not feel very good to us, but there’s growing evidence that it’s not even all that effective. Those “skills” rarely ever become as automatic as they want them to be, we often still struggle to find real friendship, and we usually end up with low self esteem and/or social anxiety for our trouble.

Even still, there are some people who struggle to navigate neuronormative ways who would like *some* kind of help with decoding neurotypical social norms. Even if you don’t want to fully replace your own programming with theirs, it might be nice if you could at least understand it, right?

But how do you teach NT social skills without making ND people feel bad about their own set of skills? Can it even be done?

Well the neurotypical people who created the most popular social skills programs out there may not have been able to conceive of such a thing, but yes, it CAN be done - and here’s how.

[zarekthelordofthefries]

BG3 Companion Sexuality Headcanons

Astarion: Pansexual. Has a slight preference for men. Has a complicated relationship with feelings of attraction and connection, so doesn't usually like thinking about his own sexual identity. Thinks Wyll is the hottest other party member.

Lae'zel: Pansexual, kind of. Doesn't really relate to sex and gender in the same way as the Faerunian companions. Githyanki socially de-emphasize romance, and all sex is generally for pleasure since Vlaakith decides who bears eggs. Lae'zel is alloromantic, but romance isn't generally at the front of her mind in a relationship. Neither is gender; ultimately Lae'zel is attracted to conviction and fighting prowess, moreso even than anything physical.

Shadowheart: Bisexual. Very slight preference for men. (EDIT: I've rotated this in my mind after people pointed it out and I think actually Shadowheart has a slight preference for women.) Remained closeted into adulthood, not because the other Sharrans would discriminate against her (they generally don't care about sexuality) but because she wanted to impress everyone with how well she could keep the secret. Also, excessively kinky.

Gale: Bisexual. Has more experience with women than with men, but that has more to do with circumstances than preference. Though physical appearance isn't not a factor, he would probably describe himself as a sapiosexual; he's attracted to knowledge, intellectual curiosity, and strong opinions. Had crushes on several teachers in wizard school.

Wyll: Bisexual. Realized he wasn't just attracted to women at a young age, and his father was very supportive. No preference between genders, but one of his favorite things to do is court gentlemen exactly the same way he courts ladies; he likes being the devoted chivalric prince to men since he knows it's less common for them to be flattered and told they're beautiful.

Karlach: Pansexual. Years of being unable to make genuine connections with anyone have made her horny for affection, kindness, and commitment. Maybe had some gender preference before going to Hell, but her time there has given her lots of time to consider basically any options. Has at least a slight crush on basically every other party member.

Halsin: Pansexual. No gender preference. Halsin has had centuries to explore his sexuality, and his robust understanding of nature gives him a non-binary perspective on gender and sex. Nothing is a casual fling for this dude, though -- if you show the slightest bit of interest in him he will dedicate his whole heart to you. And also anyone else who shows interest in him at the same time.

Minthara: I didn't actually have Minthara in my party, but from what I've seen she seems like a pretty traditional drow, and when I think of drow and sexuality I sort of imagine a reverse of ancient Greek customs; bisexuality is the norm, men are prized for their beauty and for marriagibility, but it's expected that women will also have flings with other women, and those relationships are often considered more meaningful. I imagine Minthara follows those lines, being bisexual and assuming she may one day marry a beautiful man but being more inclined to meaningful, affectionate relationships with women, due to her own prejudices moreso than preference between genders.

Jaheira: Thought she was straight for the first century of her life, but has more recently opened up to other possibilities. Isn't particularly interested in marriage or a deep interpersonal romance at this point in her life, but she has entered a state of questioning her sexuality -- she's just not super interested in experimenting with actual relationships. She's got more important stuff to do. Did have a fling with Ninefingers that neither of them tell anyone about.

Minsc: Doesn't like labels. Minsc isn't interested in finding a partner, doesn't really care about sex, and is enthusiastic about romance mainly when other people do it. He hasn't given a lot of thought to where he might fall on any sexual/romantic spectrum, but he definitely sees beauty in all of his friends. He will give you the most heartfelt and often embarassing compliments on your personality, style, and appearance. Does that mean he's attracted to you? Maybe, maybe not, but there's definitely something queerplatonic going on.

[tonowarii]

Doing It All For Love

Pairing: Tsu'tey te Rongloa Ateyitan x Fem! Dreamwalker! Reader

Summary: Quaritch was about to hit Hometree. (Y/N), Grace, Norm, Jake, and Trudy make a daring escape to save all that you can, however, it came with a price.

Word count: 3.6k

Warning/s: angst, betrayal(?), mentions of blood, hurt/comfort

Note: All for Us suddenly played while I was making this and ?? I thought it kinda fit so... have this.. I think this was a request I can vividly remember back on my main.. Enjoy! Likes, reblogs, and feedbacks are most welcome and appreciated! Let me know your thoughts!

italics - na'vi being spoken

GIF is mine!

“Quaritch is rolling the gunships, he’s going to hit Hometree.”

Trudy spoke out of breath due to running, holding her helmet.

You moved, standing up. “He can’t-“ What the hell?

“My God.” Grace says, before she sprints towards the control room, followed by you, Jake, and Norm.

“Dr. Augustine, you cannot be up here!” A guard says to her. You shoved him out of the way in frustration. “Back off.” You said, you weren’t about to let them destroy Hometree.

“Parker. Wait, stop. These are people you’re about to...” Grace said before the guard yanked at her again which made you angry, pushing him away from her. “I said back off.”

“No, no. They’re fly-bitten savages that live in a tree!” Parker says, pointing at Grace. “All right? Look around! I don’t know about you, but I see a lot of trees. They can move!”

“There are families in there. There are children in there. Babies. Are you gonna kill children?” You questioned. You were fuming as you stared Parker down.

“You don’t want that kind of blood on your hands. Believe me.” Jake said. “Just… let me try to talk them out. “They trust me.”

Parker looks at the three of you before he gives in.

“Calibrate fast. We’re going in, right now.” Grace commanded as the three of you along with Jake rushed towards the link units.

“Calibrating three, four, and five.” One said as you approached the link unit as it opened.

“Run sequence.”

“Initiating. Thirty seconds.”

You hopped on your link unit, placing the frame onto your body.

The last thing you see was Selfridge going to Jake, saying something to him as the unit closed.

You were panicking.

Closing your eyes, you opened them to find yourself back at Hometree. You blinked back a few times before standing abruptly, looking around for Grace and Jake. Once you’ve spotted them standing up. You rushed over to them. “Let’s go.” Jake said.

“Ma senpu, ma sa’nok!” Neytiri calls, gathering the attention of the olo’eyktan and the tsahik.

“Eyktukan, I have something to say.” Jake spoke, looking at them while you and Grace stood back. “Listen to him.” You said, your eyes meeting Tsu’tey’s.

“Speak, Jakesully.” Eytukan granted him the permission. “A great evil is upon us… The Sky People are coming to destroy Hometree.”

The people reacted, huffing out. You looked around, face contorting in worry.

“Look, tell them they’re going to be here soon.” Jake said to Neytiri as she translates the message. “You have to leave. Or you’re going to die.” Jake continued. “Are you certain of this?” Mo’at asked.

You looked at Jake, then back at Tsu’tey. “Look. They sent me here to learn your ways. So one day I could bring this message and that you would believe it.”

You watched as Neytiri turns to face Jake towards her, her hands feeling like they were being burned from touching Jake as they extend and retract on his chest. “What are you saying, Jake? You knew this would happen?”

“Yes.”

“Look, at first, it was just orders, and then everything changed.” Jake talked to Neytiri. “Okay? I fell in love. I fell in love with the forest and with the Omaticaya people. And with you.”

You frowned as you saw Neytiri’s tears fall. Then her ears fell. “I trusted you…” Her voice cracked. “With you..” Jake convinced. “I trusted you!”

“Trust me now, please-“

Neytiri screamed at Jake, looking at you and Grace before she returns her gaze to Jake, shoving him away from him. “You will never be one of The People!”

You heart ached. “We tried to stop them-“ You tried to explain but Neytiri held her palm up, turning her head away and going behind her mother. You looked at Tsu’tey.

He was angry, he was distraught. How could you do this to him? After everything… after he had taught you their ways, fell in love with you, and... even chose you in front of Eywa. His eyes that once looked at you with fondness now glared at you with hate, resentment. He hadn’t uttered a single word to you.

“Bind them.” Eytukan commanded as he was quick on his feet, not sparing you a glance as he held Jake down.

You now felt yourself being tugged, you swallowed, looking up at them. “You have to go. They’re coming.” You begged.

“You have to leave now!” Grace says. You were pushed down to your knees as your hands were bound. All you could do was frown as they had decided to fight.

The three of you were bound to a post in a line. The people were gathered around you, waiting. Then you heard it, the choppers.

“Go! Please!” You spoke. “Run to the forest!” Jake shouted. “They will destroy this place!”

“Neytiri, you must go now.” Grace said, but it was ignored. Then they were in front of you. “Have no fear!” Tsu’tey shouted. “Tsu’tey, please!” You said, fighting against your restraints. He ignores you. “Take the Ikran, attack from above.” Eytukan commanded Tsu’tey as he followed, running towards Hometree but he paused for a moment as he looked at you.

There it was still, resentment. However, his eyes also held sorrow. “Tsu’tey…” You called but he shakes his head, yelping at his teammates as they went and climbed inside Hometree.  Your eyes then caught sight of the gas cans being launched at you, smoke clouding your vision as you heard the people coughing, trying to get out.

Eytukan had then commanded to open fire, their arrows doing little to no damage on the RDA aircrafts. Then your eyes widened as they switched to the rockets, hitting Hometree square on the ground. “No!” Jake screamed as the missiles kept firing and firing. Then a chill ran down your spine.

Tsu’tey was still in there.

“Stop!” You screamed. Your heart pounding as tears rolled down your face. “Get everyone to the forest!” Eytukan signaled, leaving the three of you still bound.

“Neytiri!” Jake called to her, but she just gave a blank stare as she walked away.

“We gotta move, he’s gonna blow the columns!” Jake said to the two of you. You breathed in deeply, tears clouding your vision as you tried to break free from your restraints. “I- I can’t.” You spoke out. “You can, come on now, (Y/N)!” Jake says, struggling to break free from his own.

Then you see Mo’at approaching as you blinked, carrying her knife as she approached the three of you, her knife dangerously travelling to Jake’s neck.

“Mo’at, no!” Grace pleaded. With tear-stricken face, Mo’at cries out. “If you are one of us, help us.”

She then cuts Jake’s rope, freeing him. Next it was you, then Grace.

“This way!” Jake said, you followed him, your eyes couldn’t help but look around you as the people still struggled. Then another round of missiles rained down.

It exploded, sending a wave strong enough to knock you over the branch as you coughed out. “Come on, Grace. Move!” Jake says, helping Grace to hop over the fallen huge branch. Then you supported Mo’at in crossing over as you hopped over in time as large missiles came.

“Head down!” Jake says. “Down, down!” He says, as you hid yourself behind the tree branch. Explosions rang left and right as your lip quivered. All you could think about was Tsu’tey.

Then the final blow hit. Leaves started to fall amongst you. You heard it. The large creaking sound of the base of the Hometree snapping.

Everyone looked up in horror as they knew what was coming next. “Go. Go!!” Jake pushed you in front of him as you ran. You looked back and forth as you ran, your face scrunching as you ran for your life.

Separate branches then fell. You were about to run into one when Jake yanked you towards him. “No, no, get back! Back!”

The screams from around you had struck your heart, your whole body feeling frozen as you hear their screams become muffled as Hometree finally surrenders, dropping.

You kneeled as you watched around you. Destruction. There were flames and sparks everywhere. Smoke still hanging in the air. You grasped at the ground beneath you, closing your eyes shut as you hear Mo’at scream in terror at what just happened.

It followed by more screams and cries. You couldn’t take it. You stood up, walking around to see if the rest of the people are still okay, somehow. Your breathing became ragged as you tried to look for a sign of Tsu’tey. You prayed to Eywa with all your might that he must’ve made it out alive.

You feel fresh tears running down your face as you walked with the people. Jake excused himself, saying he was going to look for Neytiri. You began walking with Grace, with your heart heavy. Grace frowned from beside you, going to wrap an arm around your shoulder to rub your arm.

Then Parker pulled the plug.

You were still walking when Grace suddenly dropped down, lifeless. “Oh no…” Was all that you managed to say when you feel yourself slip from your consciousness, dropping alongside her.

The children around you were alerted. “Tsahik!” They called out to Mo’at.

Suddenly, you were back in the link unit as it opened. Anger. That was all you felt as the first guard you see hovering above you was given a punch on his face. He pulled you out from the link unit as your hands were bound yet again. “You murderer!” You hear Grace scream at Parker.

“How could you?!” You shouted as you were being yanked to stay still.

Now you were detained. You had your head in your hands as your thoughts ran almost a million miles an hour.

“What’s going on, brother? Long time no see.” You heard Trudy say, making you look at her to see her pushing in a tray carrying food. “Personally, I don’t feel these tree-hugging traitors deserve steak.” She chuckled.

“They get steak? That’s bullshit. Let me see that.” The guard spoke, crouching down and opening the cart door.

You saw how Trudy approached him and then bought a gun out, making your eyes widen. She then aimed at his head. “Yeah, you know what that is. Down, down.” Trudy said, making the man lay on his stomach with his hands up. “All the way down.” She said, before raising her hand and smacking the gun on the back of his head, rendering him unconscious.

“Trudy!” You hear Norm say. “Max!” Trudy called out and Max comes into view, typing something on the padlock and the door opened.

All of you now were running to get to Trudy’s samson. “Trudy, fire up the ship, go!” Jake said, making Norm and Trudy head to the outside.

You also reached the first door, pulling it open and going over to grab your mask, handing one to Grace, and Jake. “Max, stay here. I need someone on the inside I can trust.” You heard Jake say as you handed him his exopack.

Reaching samson 1-6, you helped carried Jake onto the chopper, once he was on, you quickly handed his wheelchair to Norm. “Come on!” Trudy said, knowing that her unauthorized engine start was now notified.

Then bullets sped past you as you helped Grace get back on, the last one to board was you. “I’m taking fire, let’s go!” Trudy shouted.

“Come on, (Y/N)!.” Norm said, pulling you up. You held onto him as you managed to sit down, exhaling. Now you were up in the air.

“Yeah! Wohoo!” Jake and Norm cheered. “Everybody alright back there?” Trudy asked.

You were about to reply when you felt it. A wet sensation on your side, warm, sticky. You breathed out, placing a palm against it, making you wince as you saw that your hand was covered in blood. Your blood.

You gasp out a breath. “Fuck.”

Jake had a smile on his face when he turned to face you, but that quickly dropped when he saw the bloodstain on your side. “(Y/N)’s hit!” Jake said. “Oh, shit.” Grace said, inspecting you.

“What?” Trudy said, looking back. “Get the trauma kit!” Jake said to Norm. “Trauma kit’s forward, on the bulkhead.” Trudy says. “Keep the pressure on, (Y/N). Hang on, alright?” Jake said as you squinted in pain, the adrenaline leaving your body as you were about to possibly bleed out.

Reaching the link shack, Norm had linked to his avatar to monitor the outside as the link shack you were currently in was now being hoisted up by Trudy’s chopper. You laid against the fluid gel pack on one of the link units. Trauma kid had been applied and you weren’t feeling any better.

You then felt Grace inject something on your arm as her face contorted in worry. Jake revealed the blanket covering your body to see the bandage was already beginning to get soaked further of your blood. You clenched your jaw, eyes fighting to stay awake.

“I’m gonna get you some help, (Y/N).” Jake promised, placing a hand on your arm after he places the blanket back on you again. “You have to be strong, hold on (Y/N). The People can help you, I know it.”

You let out a shaky sigh “Why would they help us?” You shifted, but every move you made hurt. Jake looked at you, biting the inside of his cheek. “Get some rest, alright? We’re almost there.” He only said, patting your head as he moved away. You closed your eyes.

After Jake had claimed Toruk, he now had to face the people.

“Tsu’tey te Rongloa Ateyitan, I stand before you… ready to serve the Omaticaya people. You are Olo’eyktan, and you are a great warrior. I can’t do this without you.” Jake said to Tsu’tey, his eyes pleading.

Tsu’tey thinks, blinking to look at Toruk before he looks back at Jake, nodding. “Toruk makto, I will fly with you.” He said, placing a hand on his chest, however. The next words that came out of Jake’s mouth had a chill sent to his spine.

“My friend is dying. (Y/N) is dying.”

Tsu’tey’s mouth went agape, he had been occupied with his anger, hate, and grief that he had forgotten where you were, or where your body was. He didn’t even find himself asking for you after the aftermath of the destruction of Hometree. Tsu’tey backs away, looking at Mo’at then back at Jake. “I beg the help of Eywa.” He speaks.

Tsu’tey’s brows furrowed “Where is she?” he demanded. The need to see you overcame him as his heart drummed in his chest. Jake’s eyes flickered over to Tsu’tey. “She’s here.”

You stirred awake as you blinked, the bright bioluminescent lights almost blinding your weak frame. You then see Jake, in his avatar, then Neytiri from beside you as she was wrapping you in something. “Stay with us, come on (Y/N).” Jake said.

“Be strong.” Neytiri adds, looking at you, placing her huge hand on your shoulder as you were laid down.

Then you spot Jake and Neytiri looking at someone before they stood up. You let out a deep breath as the face of the man you had wanted to see for the longest time appeared. “Tsu’tey…?” You muttered weakly.

Tsu’tey swallowed the lump in his throat seeing you. It was the first time he ever saw you in this form, your true form. You were small, smaller than him. You were weak as your eyes flutter open and close just to see his face. He bites his lip. This was truly you. The one he was mated with. It left a deep ache in his heart seeing you in this state, not even knowing the chance of your survival.

Tsu’tey inches closer, his hand going their way to place them on your head, down to your cheek, but it was covered due to your mask. You might live, or you may die.

“I see you.” You whisper weakly to him, a smile etching on your face as you reached up to him, your hand barely covering his cheek as he instinctively leaned into your touch. “I see you.” Tsu’tey answered, yet his heart felt regret.

“They’re ready.” Jake announced.

You and Tsu’tey looked at each other before he carefully swept you up in his arms.

Making their way towards the Tree of Souls, you opened your eyes, seeing this beautiful sacred site in your own form was overwhelming. You looked around, gasping. “This place…it is truly beautiful.” You mutter, only Tsu’tey could hear as he looked down at your awe-struck gaze.

Jake carried your avatar body as he laid it to the side. The people were gathered around as Tsu’tey now carefully laid you on the other side. You felt the cold ground. Then you had the feeling of vines crawling their way onto your body, trapping you in a hug, almost.

“The Great Mother may choose to save all that she is, in this body.” Mo’at explained to Jake as Tsu’tey never left your side. “Is that possible?” Jake asked. “She must pass through the eye of Eywa and return.” Mo’at answered. “But Jakesully, I feel her getting weak.”

Tsu’tey swallowed the forming lump on his throat as his eyes darted between your human form and your avatar. His hand going over to hold your shoulder. He nudges his forehead to the side of your head, a rare show of vulnerability coming from Tsu’tey. He scrunches his eyes closed, muttering his prayer with all his might.

“Do not leave me, tìyawn. Eywa, bring her back to me. Give her strength. Do not let her leave this world without me. Ma Eywa, it is all I ask.” Tsu’tey muttered against you, as tears formed in his eyes, dropping onto you.

Jake could feel the same ache in his heart watching the two of you. He treated you like the sister he never had, it had him closing his eyes, wishing that Eywa could hear his prayers. Grace, now in her avatar form stood side by side with Norm as she has a frown etched on her face watching Tsu’tey being vulnerable.

The moment Tsu’tey sat back up and looked at Mo’at, she had then commenced the consciousness transfer. Then the ritual chant began as the people held each other as they closed their eyes, praying that you might cross the eye of Eywa.

Tsu’tey chanted, keeping his eyes trained on you.

“Hear us, All Mother.” Mo’at praised. “Eywa, help her.” The people chanted. “Take this spirit with you and breathe her back to us.”

“Let her walk among us as one of The People.”

All you saw was a bright light, then memories flashed around you, in your human form, when you were little, then up to now as you watched yourself falling in love with Tsu’tey.

Eywa had known you. She knows you. She was real.

Standing there, you felt a wave of peace rush over you as your skin glowed. Looking, you spot a path, then you felt this urge to keep fighting. Breathing in, you feel yourself walking, jogging, that turned into a full on sprint as you desperately chased the end of the glowing pathway.

“Do not leave me, tìyawn. Eywa, bring her back to me. Give her strength.” You hear Tsu’tey’s voice echoing around you. Making you push yourself as you ran.

I am not leaving you. I will come back. Great Mother, hear me.

You finally reached the end as you were enveloped in a bright flashing light.

Tsu’tey’s eyes looked at Mo’at as her chanting stopped. His heart felt like it was about to burst from his chest as Mo’at ordered them to stop.

Tsu’tey and Jake circled around you as Tsu’tey carefully inspected your human body. Your eyes were closed as you heaved your last breath. Tsu’tey then jumped over towards your avatar form, his hand going over to your shoulder as Jake stayed with your human form. Mo’at hovered her hands above your human body towards your avatar.

Tsu’tey still glued to your side as his eyes never left your face. “What’s happening, did it work?” Jake frantically asked.

The vines running around the Tree of Souls glowed brighter than ever, almost blinding.

Tsu’tey then laid you on your back, his hand going over to cup your neck as he carefully hoisted your upper body in his arms.

“Tìtxen si, ma yawne. (Wake up, my beloved).” Tsu’tey whispers against you.

And then he feels that Eywa had heard The People’s prayers as your avatar stirred, then you opened your eyes.

Tsu’tey was the first one to see as he pulled you close to him. “Thank you, Great Mother, you have returned her to me. I am forever thankful.”

Jake rushed over to him as you awoke in your new body.

“Tsu’tey…” You said, a smile now crawling on your face.

“Hey there, big baby.” Jake said, breathing out his relief as he looked at you. You glanced at him and you shake your head. “Look who’s got you crying.” You said to him as he chuckled, the last of his tear rolling down his face.

“She has returned to us!” Mo’at smiled as the people yelped and cheered.

“Thank you, thank you.” Jake said, looking up at the Tree of Souls.

Tsu’tey still held you in his arms, eyes scanning your face as you smiled at him. Eywa has returned you, Eywa has returned you to him. He nuzzles his forehead to yours, closing his eyes as you reached up to cup his cheek. “I thought I had lost you.”

Even though the looming threat of the RDA still hung, Tsu’tey could not be bothered as he feels you breathe beneath him.

He was then filled with determination as he looks at The People. He was going to do everything he can so they could win this fight. He then glanced back at you. He was going to fight for you.

He was going to fight for a future with you.

[bowtiepastabitch]

Deeply Transgender and Vividly Pornographic: a deep dive into what makes a fic queer

This is a response to the wonderful @ineffabildaddy making this post, which it was originally going to just be a reblog to but once I started approaching a thousand words it was a bit unwieldy so we're just going all the way. If second base is reading their fics and third base is actually talking to your mutuals, I have no clue what this is.

Here's the prompt text that started it all:

Alright, well I am nothing if not a scientist (narrator voice: they were, in fact, a humanities major), so I spent several hours of my weekend putting this together because I'm a burnt out academic and this is the enrichment in my enclosure. Readers, this is going to contain experpts of some very spicy stuff, so stop here if you're not interested. Me bringing porn? To your tumblr dash? It's more likely than you think.

All fics and such referenced will be linked at the bottom of the page.

~~~

Heteronormativity and cisnormativity, while unfortunately the dominant norm for mainstream pornography, make little appearance within the fandom writing spaces I myself spend time in. That's not to say I haven't read my fair shair of painfully straight smut in my lifetime, but simply that I have taste and am lucky to be neck deep in a fandom with very little of it. Nonetheless, as a card-carrying queer and writer myself, I consider myself quite familiar with the distinctive traits and patterns of queer and cishet pornographic writing. Beyond merely a focus on non-male pleasure or the subtle presence of queer or trans characters, the characterization of queer fanfiction is distinct and has entirely different mannerisms in dealing with conceptions of the body and pleasure. I'll primarily be citing Ineffabildaddy's work, for the sake of a focused analysis, who I will henceforth be referring to as Sam for the sake of pseudo-academic flow.

There are certain linguistic patterns that tend to distinguish heterosexual and heteronormative depictions of sex from queer ones. For instance, "cunt" is utilized sparingly within heteronormative contexts for its vulgarity and added obscenity, whilst queer writers use it pretty universally and without the same subtext. Throughout his writing, Sam works with this queer-coded vocabulary pretty consistently. In "Strawberry Scripture" (F/M), he describes how "Crowley's cunt... was damn-near swollen" and how Aziraphale has to resist "Bury[ing] his face in it immediately." No cis-het man has ever thought about eating pussy that way, and if you find one I'll eat my fucking hat. Likewise, vocabulary for the phallic tends to veer in the direction of "cock" over anything else. Interestingly, this creates a set of contrasting pairings. Heteronormative slang, from my obvervation, is more likely to use 'dick' and 'pussy', and, especially in conjunction, it creates a very distinctive mouthfeel that separates the two and poses them as opposites. 'Pussy', in particular, has a much more feminized feel when juxtaposed against 'dick', favoring much softer consonants and the english diminutive 'y' ending. 'Cock' and 'cunt', in comparison, have a very similar sound and feeling to them, distancing itself from hetero-cis-normative gender dualism of the language. There is, of course, plenty of nuance to this and the use of a variety of language in subverting cisnormative ideas about the sexed body as well, with phrases like 'boypussy' and 'girldick' being rather essential to the way many trans people describe their own bodies. "Fandom's Pornagraphic Subset," (yes I'm stealing sources from my research paper on monsterfucking, suck my dick) an article published in 2021 by Silja Kukka, describes how the "fleshy, hyperbolic descriptions of sex" that characterize this kind of writing are essential to what she dubs the "[creation of] a new genderqueer place outside of the gender dichotomy"(57). If you read enough smut, you know exactly what this is talking about. For example, in "Despite Knowing Better,"(F/M) we get vivid imagery to describe the way "streaks of her spit oozed from her mouth even as Aziraphale fucked it"(Ch5) and of "her walls quivering and clenching around him."(Ch3) This level of graphic sexual depiction goes beyond what would be considered 'tasteful' or 'sexy' in a heteronormative concept of pornography.

In terms of tropes, let's do a deep dive into "Strawberry Scripture"(F/M) to find what makes it queer beyond it's apparently straight pairing. To preface, this fic involves both foodplay and monsterfucking, but we're only gonna analyze one. The inherent queerness of monsterfucking is actually something I've written an entire academic paper on, so I suppose I'll start there. There's something very queer and often very trans about subverting the standard playbook of sexual acts, and while kink itself can easily be heterosexual, most monsterfucking falls far outside that category no matter what genital configuration those involved have. Monsterfucking tends to reject the phallocentrism of heteronormativity and mainstream kink by subverting the concept of the human body itself, giving inhuman and monstrous qualities to characters usually for sex appeal or general kinky shenanigans. While there's an argument to be made for heteronormativity still being able to creep into certain spaces, that certainly isn't true for this fic. There's something intrinsically transgressive about creating an erogenous zone out of a feature that would largely be considered horror or 'gross' in any other form of media, which is exactly what Sam does here as he describes the "cool, satiny sensation that the plates of her scales against his tip engendered." The scales are not merely called apon for their invocation of the unusual but to give them an eroticism in and of themselves, with Crowley reaching orgasm through their stimulation. We also slide gently into Monsterfucker territory in "Close (well you couldn't get much closer)" (M/M), where an argument could be made that the most trans-coded element isn't even Crowley's T-dick but instead the presence of a magic angel dildo. (sentences I never thought I'd fucking say but here we are.) There's something deeply transgender about the deconstruction of genital purpose in sex that recontextualizes the gendered body's role in pleasure. It falls into the same semiotic revolution and reclaiming of the body as the changes in language used by trans folks to rename and reidentify the literal physicality of the body by ones own standards (ie T-dick).

Another major trademark in departing from heteronormatized porn is the shift in narrative focus away from penetrative sex. That is, even in paragraphs where the main sex event is penetration, it rarely takes up even half the prose. The majority of narration is focused on surrounding or tangential actions: "the flowing movement of ... hips was sedate and wanton and lusciously provocative,"(1) "watching the muscles which resided there tense and relax alternately with pleasure,"(2) "his tongue stole past his teeth and slid over them,"(3) and "he whispered, his voice aching and curling and stretching for her"(4); all excerpts pulled from moments in which penetration is taking place, yet the concentration is anywhere but. Likewise, the act of penetration itself only takes up a small portion of physical sex acts in the grander scheme of Sam's writing. Instead, we as readers are presented with a vast spread of cock-sucking, pussy-eating, fingering, teasing, frottage, kissing, and more. Contrast this with the cis-hetero norm, where penetrative sex is the endgoal, and any other action is shucked aside to play second fiddle as mere foreplay. It's the reason virginity as a concept is directly tied to the mystical hymen and one's experience with penetration; a straight girl can suck dick a thousand times and still consider herself a virgin. As such, in a piece of pornographic writing where I have significant trouble finding lines to pull specifically and exclusively describing penetration (seriously, try it out yourself), the heterosexual influence is negligible. And yes, I'm talking about all of them. I had to restructure an entire argument that focused on comparing lines from different works because it was so difficult to find them.

So, in conclusion, Sam, love, there is not an ounce of heteronormativity in even the "straightest" of your writing. Congratulations.

Links, in order of reference:

Strawberry Scripture (3)

Fandom's Pornographic Subset, article by Silja Kukka and a great read

Despite Knowing Better... (4)

Close (you couldn't be much closer)

Many Different Ways to Eat an Oyster (1)

I'm Beginning to See the Light (2)

Author's notes, and then I promise I'll leave y'all alone: Hi! This started as a short analysis but quickly became a three(?)(maybe more?) hour labor of love analyzing the things I love most about both Sam's writing and the writing in this community as a whole. Please please please ask me questions, I'm an autistic little bitch and I like knowing things. My ask box? Open. Comments? Open. Reblogs? Open. If you've read this far, I fucking love you and I am kissing you on the mouth right now. Don't worry, my gender is just queer so it's gay no matter what. <3<3<3

[weirdsht]

Disillusioned 6 . Truth

a/n: i think my blood count is running low again so i might not be able to write for a while but idk yet. also my class schedule is literally from 9 am to 7 pm so i don't really know when i'll be able to write 🥲

tags: abuse as the norm, reader doesn't know better. unintentional self-harm(?), hints of power tripping

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

Constructive criticisms and any kind of interaction are more than welcome

Requests are currently closed but my ask are still open (read navi)

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On doesn’t know how to tell Cale about the things she found out.

Well, it’s not a matter of her hesitating to tell him. There’s no way On would hesitate to tell Cale, someone she has come to see as her parental figure, such important information. Rather, it's the timing of things that made her hesitate every time.

From the moment Cale woke up things have been hectic. There are changes to their schedule and a lot more things to do. Especially now that they managed to capture some of Arm’s members.

With everyone busy running around here and there, On took it upon herself to make sure _____ doesn’t get injured.

The silver kitten can’t fully comprehend why someone would offer their all for other people to the point of being on the brink of death. Saving people is good, but one should not overdo it. After all, being alive is the best thing as Cale had taught her.

Well, Cale is also self-sacrificial but that's On’s headache for another day.

For now, she focuses on limiting the healer to use their healing abilities as much as possible and trying to find the chance to tell Cale the issue.

“Don’t worry, it's dangerous but not dangerous as in you will get hurt dangerous.”

If Cale looked at her funnily then On pretended not to notice. The important thing is she finally managed to tell him that they must talk about _____’s powers. Since the redhead must first go and attend some business, On opted to just give Cale a snippet and continue it after they get back.

And so that night, after having dinner with the cute half-rat half-dwarf Mueller, Cale and On finally had their overdue talk.

Aside from them and the other two children, Choi Han, Beacrox, and Ron are also in the room to listen in. 

“If that’s the case then chances are _____-nim’s healing abilities work like a transfer.”

Silence filled the room at Choi Han’s comment. All of them are thinking about how to confirm such things.

“We can just talk to _____ themself! They’re super nice so I’m sure they’ll tell us.”

“But maybe that will be uncomfortable for little _____”

Raon shut down Hong’s suggestion. However, Cale thinks it’s a good idea.

“It’s not like we have much option, we either ask them directly or sneak around to see evidence while they are using their power.”

And safe to say that Cale wants to choose the less hassle option, asking _____ directly.

After scamming– selling the research remains of the Magic Tower to Toonka and talking to Choi Han, Cale managed to squeeze talking to _____ in his schedule.

While the swordmaster was out to get the healer, Cale felt a sense of dread. He suddenly thought of how _____ never seems to share their story. This makes him think about the chance that maybe the healer is simply unwilling to share the information.

He may be trash but he's not a jerk who will force someone to share their story if it will resurface their trauma.

“So you have no problem telling me? Why haven’t you said anything until now?”

Turns out, _____ is more than okay sharing everything with Cale. They stated that whatever it is Cale needed to know, they are willing to share as long as they know of it.

“It’s because Cale-sunbae has never asked me? They say that if someone of my status shares something personal unprompted then it will be burdensome for the other party. It is also bad to speak unprompted, they said that it’s bad enough that punishment is due when such a misdemeanour is committed.”

Cale Henituse has a pretty good idea as to who that “they” is but he internalizes his anger and decides to focus on the task at hand. He motions for _____ to continue speaking.

“Cale-sunbae, I’m sure you’ve heard of how I got adopted?”

“Yes, what about that story?”

“That story is a lie. Why they lied about it is something I am unsure of.

I was originally from an orphanage. This orphanage is different because they sell gifted children, the children vary from beast children to children with special abilities like me.”

‘Sounds more like a human trafficking scheme, but I can't be sure.’

Cale thought to himself as he listened to _____ talk.

“I have been adopted because the Perduellios were on the verge of going bankrupt. They decided to adopt a child with special abilities so they could maximize the wealth and glory that comes with it. It is also the real reason why I am not affiliated with the Sun God church. However, it is also true that my health would not be able to handle the workload of being a holy maiden”

If _____ is officially affiliated with the church then they would essentially be a property of the church. Minimizing the profits the family can get.

“There’s also the fact that they said I would humiliate the family if I’m not under their supervision- Ah, I’m sorry! I just realized that I’m getting off-track”

“No, continue. I’m quite curious as to how that family raised you.”

Did what Cale said surprised him? Definitely. He is usually someone who does not actively seek out such things as it brings more headaches.

But oh well, _____ is one of his people anyway so it wouldn’t hurt to know about their enemies. Even if the healer isn't aware they are enemies.

“How was I raised? I was raised normally, just like how other people have been. The Perduellios gave me food, clothing, and a roof over my head. I think they were a little strict with me but they said it was because there are so many things I have to learn.”

“Strict how?”

“Instead of tutors and teachers, they used more physical ways to teach me. They said it was a little unconventional but the only way I would learn things fast.

They had a lot of unspoken rules that I had to follow. They said that usually, a child will gradually learn what those rules are as they grow up. However, they opted to punish me for every rule I broke as I am behind my peers.”

‘What a load of bullshit. That’s not normal at all.’

Cale internally sighed before asking what kind of punishment they got. _____ explained that it’s either being whipped or having hot candle wax poured on their skin, whatever the family’s biological child deemed fitting at the moment.

The healer was asked if they figured out what some of those rules were and they said they had.

They are not allowed to speak when not spoken to

They must always answer when spoken to

They must never speak to other nobles as they are a peasant

They are not allowed to have servants and must never ask any servant for help (this was why they never bothered Hans, Ron, and Beacrox)

They are not allowed to go somewhere without guards

They must only take what their adoptive family gives to them

They must refer to their adoptive family as father, mother, and big sister outside, but must call them call them by their noble titles in private

All gifts given to them must go to the family

They are not allowed to refuse to heal anyone, the only exceptions are if it's beyond their capabilities (like chronic illness)

When they heal someone the family must be informed. 

They said that there was more that they did not figure out. However, Cale thinks that all of this is just a bunch of bullshit excuses used to hurt and exploit a child that didn't know better. Then as a result, even as an adult that person still doesn't know any better.

“Human! This is not normal! Little _____ has been deceived by those trash people! You better get revenge on them too!”

Both Cale and Raon are on the same page. Even before the dragon’s comment, Cale was already thinking about what he could do about _____’s family.

However, there was another thing that concerned the redhead.

It was the way _____ was telling the story.

Aside from the usual calmness they had, they were speaking as though it wasn't their story. It was as if they were just relaying the morning news.

To some extent, Cale thinks it's advantageous for the healer to be able to separate themselves from what happened. Even if they aren't aware that what they went through was abuse.

However, it wasn't like that.

It was more like _____ has become detached from things relating to themself.

Cale would even dare say that maybe it's because they are scared to face the hurt and longing they felt.

Not that the man is speaking from experience.

“How come you had no marks on your body? Even at the City of Life the only ones the doctor saw were the wounds you had that day.”

“Ah, that is part of my abilities. Even though I can’t heal myself, my body heals wounds a little faster than average and is incapable of scarring.”

‘This… just how lucky were those bastards that they even had the perfect cover-up?’

While Cale was thinking about how to make the Perduellios disappear from the face of the world, _____ further explained how their healing powers work.

“For my healing abilities, a percentage of my patients' wounds or sickness will transfer onto me. Ah don’t worry as I will only get around 70% of whatever I am healing and it will not be contagious whatever it may be. In return, I can give them some of my vitality. I say I give around 3% of my vitality per patient and then it is multiplied when I transfer it to them.”

Cale swallows the curse words he wants to say. He feels immense frustration at the person who seems to be more concerned at the possibility of Cale thinking they’ll get the entire group sick, and not at the fact that they’re giving their health away to random strangers.

“Uhm you might be thinking that the vitality thing is the reason why I have a weak body but it's not. Apparently, I was just unlucky and happened to have a body this weak.”

Huuuu

The redhead feels as though he will curse a storm if he doesn’t at least sigh.

“Because of how my abilities work, the more severely wounded or sick someone is, the harder it will be for me to heal them. Things like small scratches or common colds would not hurt but more severe wounds might have dire consequences on my body. That’s why I can’t heal severed limbs or terminal illnesses.”

The Medicus proceeds to explain that in theory, they can heal those things. However, it might cost them some part of the same limb or their lifespan as well as some manifestations of the illness.

“Human, let's not make little _____ heal anyone! That power is dangerous for them!”

Cale agrees with the dragon to some extent. But he also thinks that they can still use it as long as it’s in moderation.

“Hmm, I guess in theory I might also be able to revive a dead person once if I get to them right after they die. Though I think I’d have a week left to live if I did that. I haven’t tested it out yet so I’m not sure…”

Cale did not need to know that. There's absolutely no way he'll let this healer revive someone from the dead at the cost of their own life.

“...Don’t. No testing out any of those things. No testing out healing terminally ill people. The same goes for people with severe or paralyzed limbs. Just don’t okay?”

_____ doesn’t quite understand Cale’s requests but agrees nonetheless. The redhead is their benefactor so it would only be right to follow his wishes even if they don't understand why he would make such requests.

What the healer didn’t notice was the way the noble’s face hardened for a second when they were talking about reviving a dead person.

Cale is definitely going to keep a closer eye on them.

Maybe even ask Hillsman to be their personal knight…

No, never mind. _____ already grew up suffocated by the amount of guards they had following them. Cale isn't evil enough to recreate that.

So maybe he'll just make sure the healer doesn't leave his side?

“As for my ancient power, you already know that it’s a water-type power. I can look at someone’s “blood flow” to roughly figure out how strong and what species they are. As to how I accurately know the species of what I'm looking at, the owner of the power tells me. He was also the one who told me to hide my power from everyone. He doesn't speak much, he just tells me what someone is when I ask for it or when he feels like it.

Another thing it does is allow me to sense any living creatures in water. This is as long as we are touching the same water as what happened when I first met Raon Miru-nim.

It also allows me to replenish someone’s energy and stamina. However, I can’t do anything about hunger. Fainting is something I can prevent, but Cale-sunbae’s condition is special as you pass out because of your abilities so I can’t interfere with that. I’m sorry.”

They looked really sorry for not being able to prevent Cale from passing out. A big part of why they can’t interfere is because if they do then they will be breaking the ancient power’s flow of work.

“Last question.”

Cale feels like he knows the answer but he still wants to hear _____’s perspective.

“Why do you still insist on giving your all for people who will never appreciate what you do?”

It’s a foreign question for the healer. Something no one has asked before. 

Something they didn’t even think about.

Even before they were adopted they have always been draining themself for others. The motion of offering themself up to others is as natural as a fish looking for water.

It didn’t matter if they were unloved or unwanted.

In fact, _____ knew in the back of their mind that no one loved them.

“I am both unwanted or unneeded. Then isn’t it only right that I present myself to be used until nothing is left of me?”

That was the conclusion they had come to.

Their life would have no meaning if they didn’t let others use them. Maybe there is, but _____ doesn’t know what could it be. Already so used to their current way of living.

“I understand now.”

That was all that Cale said to _____’s explanation of their powers. He told the healer to go back to their tent and rest.

As soon as it was just him and Raon in the room, Cale roughly rubbed his hands through his face.

Cale summarized in his head that in a way _____'s ability wasn't really healing but more like transferring. They multiply and transfer their vitality to make someone better.

The ability itself was easy to understand. Setting up measures to make sure _____ doesn’t overdo it is also easy.

However, Cale Henituse still feels frustrated.

And he can’t quite fathom why he feels that way.

[twistedwonderlandimaginesblog]

Hello, I see that questions about relationships and courtship are open :D If it's okay with you, could I have Jamil and Leona, please?Number 5, 12, 16 and 28 ;)Thank you in advance!! You have a great blog! <3

Leona Kingscholar:

5. ♥ Do they wait to be intimate until after marriage or break all the social rules?

Leona breaks rules because he can, or pushes the very limits just to see how far he can go before it all falls apart. All eyes aren’t on him, at least most aren’t, aside from his nosy family members and those in the guard who may not trust his ambition. He knows how to pull the wool over Fareena’s eyes for the most part, though his sister-in-law is a different case. He’s not a patient man but he’s not pushy either; if he only wanted a night or two of fun he would’ve never committed to begin with, so you can take that to heart if you doubt his feelings.

12. ♥ Do they seek to find a partner purely to further the bloodline and name, is it for true love, or is it for pleasure alone?

Leona laughed at the thought of furthering his bloodline. Subject his child to 2nd place by default their entire life? Yeah, right. It’s a thought that drifts with time as he can’t help but want an heir himself, he refers to it as his natural kingly want even without being a king, but you think he just wants to raise a fighter willing to look out for the ‘little guy’ too just in case Cheka doesn’t do a good enough job. There is something to be said about the kinds of people he’d choose to date, ones that would be suitable for family life if they wanted it. Dating is mostly left to his own whims and he doesn’t do it often, if at all, as getting to know new people was a hassle and he hated wasting his own time.

16. ♥ Do they have at least one bonding activity they devote to doing with their partner exclusively?

Napping. Yes, yes, very stereotypical for the lazy lion but he didn’t trust just anyone to join him. Sleeping soundly around another person was like exposing your belly in a room full of predators; you wouldn’t do it if you felt like you’d be torn to shreds. He’s placing his trust in you to keep him safe and warm while he slumbers. He doesn’t reveal his expectations of you being his pillow until it’s far too late for you to run.

28. ♥ Do they understand their partners/person they are courtings feelings without them having to say anything?

Leona is as sharp as a carnivore’s claw. Many things could be said about him but his intelligence was rarely in question. He might not always verbally confirm things, but the longer you’re together the more familiar he is with you. Conscious or unconscious, he noticed the way you move or hold yourself, the way you speak and the specific words you pick whether you’re coddling someone or in an argument. He’s aware when you divert from your norm, whether its due to anger or sadness or embarrassment. It’s like chess, a game he’s quite good at, and you’re always stunned when he finally calls you out when he asks for the ‘why’ behind your changes.  

Jamil Viper:

5. ♥ Do they wait to be intimate until after marriage or break all the social rules?

Jamil doesn’t have any strong feelings one way or the other, but you do notice he’s the type to take it slow. He’s not embarrassed by physical affection per se but the closer you get, the more you feel him tense. He’s worried about getting too attached too fast, and while the sanctity of marriage isnt the first thing on his mind, there are some interactions you have that are so domestic Jamil can’t help but daydream about what married life might consist of with you.

12. ♥ Do they seek to find a partner purely to further the bloodline and name, is it for true love, or is it for pleasure alone?

Jamil isn’t entirely game to have children, for a variety of reasons that include not wanting them to be in servitude from birth. He has doubts, feeling guilty if a family is something you had always wanted, but he had never really seen that for himself. But he also can’t say he’s seen romance for himself either, or that anyone would want to date him despite his loyalty being sworn to another, so there’s a chance for change and he might be willing to reconsider a childless future.

16. ♥ Do they have at least one bonding activity they devote to doing with their partner exclusively?

Sightseeing. This only applied when you were out of the country, likely at the whim of Kalim going on his royal duties, but Jamil is given enough ‘personal time’ when he’s surrounded by the royal guards of other families. He liked to drag you around with him to places of interest, from the markets to the ruins that seem to line every city; his eyes always glow when he’s left to adventure on his own with no obligations to reassure the safety of who he’s with, though he is wary about going anywhere dangerous when you’re tagging along with him.

28. ♥ Do they understand their partners/person they are courtings feelings without them having to say anything?

Wires can get crossed from time to time, but Jamil isn’t stupid. He knows how to read people to an extent and he can be hyperaware of his surroundings due to his job, so he noticed plenty about you. Some little habits, the way you acted when you were happy or upset or contemplating existence, he just never knew how to use that to his advantage. Learning how to use the information you present him is more the issue he’s presented with but never doubt that Jamil will figure it out for the sake of keeping you as his.

[griffonsgrove]

General Dating Headcanons | Dr. Flug

Dr. Flug X GN!Reader

fandom: Villainous/Villainos words: 1457 cw: none!! just cute tooth-rotting fluff!

a/n: aaa!! following the theme with villainous, I HAD to do our favorite scientist!! Also I'm open for requests!! I'd love to see what yall would send in!!

(Platonic): 

Dr. Flug was the one initially responsible for hiring a new employee for the organization after he had groveled at Black Hat’s feet, begging for an assistant to help lighten his workload.

Reluctantly, Black Hat agreed, but not without scaring the daylights out of the poor doctor first.

Flug thanked the high heavens.

And thus began the search for a new assistant, he sent out multiple ads and flyers, and in little to no time, there was a flood of applicants. Having to sift through each applicant only added even more stress to his ever-growing mountain of work. Most of them didn't really seem to stick out.

That was until he got to yours.

He wasn't quite sure what drew him to your application, maybe it was your astounding track record, accomplishments, and references, or maybe it was because he thought your appearance was pleasing to the eye, something about the gleam in your eyes told him that you were a reasonable, logical and pleasant person to be around.

Which is exactly how you ended up at the front gates of the manor, ready for an interview.

Of course, the first person you met was the doctor himself, he had to disable the alarm system to the manor before letting you in. It’s there that he gives a very brief, albeit awkward introduction.

He unfortunately doesn’t socialize much. 

Everything about his energy, to his stature just screamed nervous wreck. It's from there that he leads you to the Lord’s Office. Surprisingly the interview went well!! If getting demeaned and thrown insults was a norm. But! You got the job!

Now you’re in Flug’s hands, you follow alongside him as he leads you to his lab, listing off all the responsibilities he wanted you to be in charge of some of them being: Organizing files and client paperwork, taking calls from new clients and scheduling appointments, also taking customer reviews, and some minor tidying and organization.

And based on the state of his lab you had a LOT of work to do…

I know some people think Flug is an anxious mess 24/7 but that could not be further from the truth. He’s actually quite egotistical and snarky from time to time, and of course a know-it-all.

He's like the “erm actually ☝️ 🤓” guy in physical form.

IS NOT afraid to correct you over minor errors. He’s very particular about how his things are organized in his lab. He likes to call it his organized chaos. So, if anything gets misplaced, he will get snippy or irritable. 

SO..as long as you inform him of how you do things and WHERE you put them, then all is good!

Overtime as you work alongside him though, he genuinely does start to appreciate the work that you do, he's pleasantly surprised when he finds that all his files and blue prints have been organized alphabetically and by color, or that his tools had been rearranged neatly on his workbench by size and shape, and overall his lab was so much cleaner and tidy than he ever could imagine it to be.

No surprise here but, the doctor is AWFUL at taking care of himself.

Which is why you step in to do small little gestures to help him out.

Whether it be bringing him another cup of coffee or making up a small snack for him to eat throughout the day, he even noticed you had draped his lab coat over him when he fell asleep at his desk one night.

He had to admit he wasn't quite used such small acts of kindness; it was a foreign feeling to him.

Did I also mention he’s tired like 24/7. Let this poor man sleep!! 😭

Believe it or not, he’s grown to quite enjoy your company, maybe it was your relaxed nature, but he felt somewhat at ease whenever you were around.

You’ve both actually held some decent conversations from time to time, both sharing your interests that lead into a ramble about his favorite airplane models.

(Romantic):

His confession was actually quite a funny story, and he wasn't even the one to do it! It was 5.0.5 surprisingly. The sweet blue bear wasn't blind, he began to notice that his papa would longingly stare at you, that he would mumble to himself in his sleep, secret confessions he would never dare say consciously. So, the bear came up with a little plan.

5.0.5 loves to draw, Flug practically keeps every drawing he’s ever given him. He decided that he’d make a love note, from Flug to You. He spends a generous amount of time on it, putting such care into the cute little card, and when he’s deemed it perfect enough, he drops it off to you, happily growling.

You're taken by surprise at first, but then you open up the heart shaped card covered in glitter and are pleased to find an adorable childlike drawing of you and Flug, surrounded by a bunch of pink and red hearts. How sweet!

When you confront the doctor in his lab, showing him the card, he flushes, and at first denies such feelings, slightly embarrassed that his fuzzy son was the one to do it instead of him. It’s then that he decides there's no going back and spills out everything to you.

Which is why he’s shocked when you tell him you reciprocate his feelings. What?? Him?? Really????

Things start if really awkward btw, the doctor has been without physical contact for so long that WASNT being beaten down by his boss, that he honestly forgot what it was like to experience affection, aside from the crushing hugs that 5.0.5 would give him.

He’s very fidgety, doesn't quite know what to do with his hands, where to put them or how you’ll respond to his touch.

Please give him a hug :(

He’s also very respectful of your boundaries, as you are with him, he’s not quite comfortable taking the bag off his head, which you don't mind in the slightest.

Things seem to continue almost as normally, but the two of you spend more and more time with each other, taking your breaks together, having lunch and spending your evening time hanging out when neither one of you are slammed with work. He quite enjoyed having movie nights with you, the sci-fi films are always his favorite btw. He heavily critiques the machines and inventions.

You both try to keep your relationship on the down low, Black Hat would blow a gasket if he found out. Demencia on the other hand was a huge tease. She frequently mocked the two of you, mostly Flug, however. You’d stick up for him of course and tease her right back, much to the doctor's surprise.

Queue the heart eyes.

Dr. Flug expresses his affection through small, thoughtful gestures, like leaving little notes of encouragement or surprising you with inventions tailored to your interests.

Speaking of gift giving, he prefers to hand make your gifts. His ideology is that there's no point in getting you a meaningless gift that you’ll throw out in a couple of weeks, so why not make you a meaningful one that you can make your life easier???

Which btw he's VERY observant, it's actually quite endearing from time to time, and he takes note of all your special interests, favorite foods, etc.

Mans is touch-starved. Sorry I don't make the rules. 

PLEASE HOLD HIM. 

He’s pretty hesitant to touch at first, but the second he gets a feel for physical affection he's latching onto you like a koala-bear. He likes holding your hand, his hands are surprisingly soft underneath his gloves. 

When you’re both hidden away in the evening from prying eyes, is when you can finally cuddle and be more affectionate with each other. SPOIL HIM PLEASE.

You become one of his biggest supporters, encouraging him and giving him the long-deserved praise, he aches for. When he’s with you, he’ll admit that you have substantially helped boost his ego and confidence which really pays off in his work. Not that Black Hat would ever give him the satisfaction.

Overall, Dr. Flug really is a sweetheart on the inside, especially with those he's grown to love and care about and getting him to open up to you about his insecurities is one of your best accomplishments, he feels like he can be vulnerable with you and that really says a lot. The man has a lot of inner demons and has willingly put his life down the path of villainy, but he feels with you by his side, that things will be a little bit better...

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

One massive difference between the western vs JP TWST fandoms that I haven't seen anyone else talk about is that the Japanese fandom seems to dwell in "grimdark" territory while the western one tries to see the best in these characters. From my glimpses into the Japanese fandom, they seem to see these character's darkness as the main appeal. That's reflected in their fanworks, since yandere works or things that dive into their dark sides are more popular there. While there is plenty of yandere content in the west, it seems more like a niche than the most popular way to portray the characters in fics where as in Japan that seems to be the norm on Pixiv. The JP seem to LOVE their grim dark fan theories WAY more than the western one. The western fandom seems like the opposite. Works seeing their humanity, them being decent partners, etc is the norm. Thought?

“I can fix him” vs “I can make him worse”—

Mmm, I have many thoughts on this but before I get into them I want to clarify some things. This is so everyone reading is running with the same definitions and thus can better understand (and perhaps contribute to) the discussion.

Firstly, “grimdark” can refer to any and all materials which people may find disturbing, amoral, and/or violent. Grimdark is NOT just yandere content. Although yandere content is an example of grimdark, not all grimdark is yandere.

Secondly, I want to dispel the notion that “grimdark” and “seeing the best in the characters” are opposites. They are actually not mutually exclusive; it is entirely possible to have the two overlap. For example, it is common for assassins to be after Kalim’s life (which is dark). However, Kalim himself is very cheery despite being cognizant of this (which is not dark, he is able to see the nest of this situation and is often praised for being a spot of sunshine in the cast). There are also much darker takes while staying true to Kalim’s caring nature, such as fandom works which portray his big heart (a strength) as a detriment, causing him to fall into deep paranoia and/or guilt. For the purposes of this discussion, I will still refer back to those two original viewpoints, just be aware that they are not truly “opposites”.

Lastly, the ask is phrased such that it suggests that dark content is “the norm” in Japanese circles. In actuality, the content you see is dependent on personal biases and what the algorithms feed you based on your likes and communities. While it’s true that perhaps Japanese fandoms have more dark content than the western fandoms, that doesn’t necessarily mean it is “the norm”. It is still considered niche, it is just that the fandom culture of Japan is more open-minded about these depictions, as well as fans’ choices to filter out dark content if they do not wish to encounter it. Western fandoms are very different in this regard. Rather than ignoring content they dislike or find disturbing, western fans tend to adopt an attitude of openly renouncing that which they dislike and, at times, calling out those that do enjoy that kind of thing. It is this social stigma and pressure within western fandoms which creates a less welcoming space for dark content to exist and to be publicly shared. Rather than saying one type of content is “the norm”, I think it’s more accurate to say certain types of content are deemed as being “acceptable” or “unacceptable” depending on the fandom culture.

Now then, as to why the western fandom in particular tends to favor works that show the TWST characters in a favorable light rather than focus on their darker aspects? There are many possible explanations for this:

Cultural differences in fandom spaces. I already mentioned this in the opening paragraphs, but it warrants repeating here. Japanese fans are much more reserved in how they express themselves and tend to keep quiet relating to content they dislike or don’t care for. Western fans are more outspoken and may actively “call out” what they dislike. This is typically observed in collectivist vs individualist countries, as conformity with the group/not causing disruptions to the group harmony and standing out and being one’s own individual are opposing ideologies and values.

Japan’s culture is one that stresses the importance of politeness and being proper. The country has strict social expectations of people and especially women (which makes up the majority of TWST’s fanbase). It is only in the realm of fiction where Japanese women are able to freely express themselves and to explore subject matter deemed socially inappropriate, however dark it may be. Fandom is their creative outlet. Meanwhile in the west, it’s the opposite. Overt uniqueness is more acceptable overall, but there is also a present effort of policing online content, often in the name of social activism and inclusion. This makes sense for western countries, many of which sport much more diverse populations than Japan.

Going in with the certain expectations of the game. Many western fans mistook Twisted Wonderland for a dating sim when its marketing materials first released, maybe due to a language barrier. This set them up for the wrong expectations about romancing and potentially “fixing” a villain, even when the game finally came out (due to residual feelings; I know for a fact there are still a handful of fans who want TWST to have a dating sim spinoff or wish the game had been a dating sim from the start).

Changes made in the localization.

I’m not sure what the ratio of westerners playing EN to JP, but the official localization made several changes which “blunted” some details or changed the context of some characters’ stories. For example, Jamil is no longer a “servant” but an “employee”, Kalim is his “employer”, not “master”, and Jamil complains that his parents will be “so mad at him” when he is asked why he doesn’t rebel against the Asims whole the consequences are made much more explicit in JP (his family will be thrown out onto the streets). Cater, Floyd, and Idia have also notably gotten a lot more memey dialogue that was not there in the original. These softened versions the characters may make western fans more likely to see the a less severe backstory or have goofier interpretation of certain characters.

Popular western media’s interpretations of villains. A lot of western media nowadays tries to redeem the bad guys. For example, in many young adult and adult romance fantasy novels, the love interest is often presented as a misunderstood bad boy that has a change of heart because of the protagonist. Disney themselves is also guilty of “softening” many of their more recent villains and giving new backstories to older villains to make them more sympathetic (Maleficent, Cruella, etc). Compare this to “classic” era Disney villains, who are just evil for the sake of being evil. These will naturally inform the general public’s views on villains. (It is also to be noted that Disney villains and specifically their evilness are extremely popular in Japan. They are adored for being fun characters, not necessarily admired for being bad.)

Disney’s reputation, especially in the west. The company is closely associated with fairy tales —and, more importantly, with magic and happy endings. This, too, may contribute to western fans wanting to look on the “bright side” of things and wish for happy endings for characters that are, in fact, part of the Disney brand. The Disney message is perhaps strongest in the west due to having its origins there:

The age differences between the Japanese and the western fandoms. The western TWST fandom skews young overall whereas the Japanese TWST fandom is older (which is why a lot of TWST merch you’ll see is expensive household goods and fashion; this is to appeal to working Japanese women). As I mentioned in the previous point, this means younger audiences in the west may mostly encounter media which presents villains in a more sympathetic light, or at least much earlier (which leaves a stronger impression). This makes them more inclined to view other media in a way which is more flattering for the villains even when they are dark or morally ambiguous in canon.

Younger fans may also be not as informed and thus lack some perspective, which means they may have more limited views. A 15 year old wouldn’t have as much life experience as a 20 year old—that’s not a bad thing, it’s an objective truth that has an impact on their perspective. They may see things more simplistically or see easier solutions to complex problems. Younger fans may, for example, be able to identify circumstances as being traumatic or unfair (such as the case with Jamil’s past and Leona’s desire to introduce new technologies to his home country) but may not understand the full ramifications (ie why Jamil cannot just leave or have Kalim to speak with his dad about it, how difficult Leona’s plans would be to implement as well as the social pushback due to the harm the advances could pose to the environment). This leads to more of a lean to positive content, as dark content would inherently mean problems are much more difficult to resolve and have more factors to them than what was originally considered.

I want to also point out that younger fans are especially concerned with what their peers may think of them, and so they may feel too embarrassed to dabble in darker content. Some dark content may also not be perceived as appropriate depending on the fan’s age. Alternatively, some fans may just not feel comfortable exploring those ideas (and that’s totally fine!).

Western fans project onto/relate to the characters they love. I’m not saying that Japanese fans don’t do this, but I feel like western fans tend to do this to a VERY strong and sometimes parasocial degree (which has its roots in comfort character and kinning culture, things which largely do not exist in east Asian fandoms). Like… western fans can relate to a character so deeply that any criticism of that character can feel like a personal attack on them, the fan. Likewise, if that character is presented as having flaws or doing questionable things (even if it is canon), the fans that are strongly projecting onto the character may feel that they themselves are flawed or somehow “bad” too. This can lead into trying to defend or justify the character’s flaws or actions. Maybe a fan that has shared trauma with a character sees them as a proxy and want to see the character (and thus, themselves) in a positive way or in good situations. In eastern fandoms, it is more appropriate to consider the character a separate entity rather than relating to or projecting onto them.

The western rise in moral justification for the content one consumes. This is a big one, and it has been alluded to in some of the other points. There is this belief circulating in western fandom spaces that “the content you consume reflects your real world values and morals”. So… if you believe that (or are in a social space where it is believed) and happen to like evil or morally grey characters, what does that imply about your own character? Does that mean you are morally bankrupt or that you condone bad things? Personally, I don’t think so but I understand why this way of thinking could make people feel ashamed. They may avoid looking at “dark” interpretations of a character and instead focus on wholesome feel-good content so that the content they consume reflects “well” on themselves. In other cases, fans may try to twist the bad points of a character to make it “morally okay” to like them.

That’s everything I could come up with off the top of my head!! I hope this was interesting to read and maybe helped you see the international TWST fandom from a new perspective. With that, I’ll leave you with this relevant Wreck-It Ralph quote: “I’m bad, and that’s good. I will never be good, and that’s not bad. There’s no one I’d rather be than me.”