#I don't even really remember how many kids there were in my dream (and who the bio-parents were)

[pepimeinrad]

my brain is kinda fun sometimes... I spent last night watching ‘Der letzte Bulle - Der Film’ (awful) and then tonight in my dreams my brain substituted Henning Baum with Bettina Lamprecht and Michael Kessler and Bastian Pastewka (making it a ‘Blonder als die Polizei erlaubt’/’Pastewka’-crossover, which just HAS to happen when you give me Max Grill and Sonsee Neu together)

the plot-y bits still didn’t make sense, but I did enjoy myself a lot (I think it all revolved around co-parenting a baby, which my brain seems to have taken from ‘Pastewka’ and my ‘Bettys Diagnose’-headcanons) and kept thinking that Max and Betty need to do more together.

[vadlings]

Represention of Autistic Frustration in Laios Dungeon Meshi

Like many other autistic people, I related strongly to Laios Touden while reading Dungeon Meshi. This post isn't going to spend time disputing whether he displays autistic traits or not—while I could do that, I want to focus on why specifically his portrayal struck a chord with me in a way the writing of most other autistic-coded characters has not.

Disclaimer: as the above suggests, this post is strongly informed by my own experiences as an autistic person, as well as the experiences of my neurodivergent friends with whom I have spoken about this subject. I want to clarify that in no way am I asserting my personal experience to be some Universal Autistic Experience. This post is about why Laios' character feels distinct and significant to me in regard to autistic representation, and while I'm at it, I do feel that I have interesting things to say about autistic representation in media generally. This also got a bit long, so I'm sticking it under a read more. Spoilers for up to the end of chapter 88 below.

The thing that stands out most to me in regard to Laios' characterisation is the open anger he displays when someone points out his inability to read other people. This comes up prominently in his interactions with "Shuro" (Toshiro Nakamoto):

The frustration pictured above (Laios continuing to physically tussle with Toshiro, using crude language toward him) becomes even more notable when you remember that this is Laios, who, outside of these interactions, is not easily fazed and often exists as a lighthearted contrast to the rest of the cast. Then we get to Laios' nightmare.

In Falin's words: "Nightmares love emotional wounds. Wounds you hold in your heart. Things that give you stress, or things that were traumatic for you. They aggravate memories like that and cause the dreamer to have terrible dreams." (chapter 42, page 10.) (damn. i'm properly citing for this post and everything.)

Thus, Laios' nightmare establishes an important fact: even if he is unable to recognise social blunders while he's making them, he's at least subconsciously aware that other people operate on a different wavelength to him, and that he's an outsider in many of his social circles (both past and present). His dream-father's disparaging words stress the impact this has had upon his ability to live up to the expectations set out for him, and we also get a panel of kids who smirk at him (presumably former bullies to some degree). Toshiro's appearance only hammers home how much Laios is still both humiliated and angered by his misunderstanding of their relationship.

I've thought a lot about anger as concomitant to the autistic experience. When autistic representation portrays ostracization, it's generally from an angle of the autistic character being upset at how conforming to neurotypical norms doesn't come easily to them; as a result, they express a desire to 'get better' at meeting neurotypical standards, a desire to become more 'normal' (whether the writing implies this is a good thing or not). In contrast, not once does Laios go, "I need to perform better in my social interactions, and try to care less about monsters, because that's what other people find weird." His frustration is directed outward rather than inward, and as a result, it's the people around him who are framed as nonsensical.

The Winged Lion starts delineating Laios' anger, and Laios' reaction is to think to himself, "It can sense all my thoughts, huh?" (chapter 88, page 16.) This is the scene that really resonated with me. I'm not saying I have never felt the desire to conform to neurotypical norms that is borne from insecurity, but primarily, I know that I don't want to work toward becoming 'normal'—I don't want to change myself for people who follow rules I find nonsensical. It's the difference between, "Oh god, why can't I get it," and, "WHY CAN'T YOU GET IT?" (phrasing here courtesy of my friend Miles @dogwoodbite). And for me personally, Dungeon Meshi is the first time I've seen this frustration and the resultant voluntary isolation from other people portrayed in media so candidly. Laios' anger is not downplayed or written to be easily palatable, either.

The culmination of Laios' frustrations in this scene wherein we learn that Laios has fantasised about "a pack of monsters attacking a village" drives home just how alienated he really feels. I need not go into his wish to become a monster himself, redolent of how many autistic people identify/have identified with non-humans to some degree as a result of a percieved disconnect from society (when I was younger, I wanted to be a robot. I still kind of do.)

Obviously, wishing death upon other people is a weighty thing, but the unfiltered nature of this page is what deeply resonated with me. The Winged Lion is laying Laios' deepest and most transgressive desires bare, and they are desires that are a product of lifelong ostracization by others (whether intentional or unintentional). This is the brand of anger I'm familiar with, and that my neurodivergent friends express being familiar with, but that I haven't seen portrayed in writing so explicitly before—in fact, it surprised me because most well-meaning autistic representation I've experienced veers toward infantilisation in trying make the autistic character's struggles easy for neurotypicals to sympathise with.

Let's also not neglect the symbolism inherent to Laios' daydream. "A pack of monsters attacking a village". Functionally, monsters are Laios' special interest—he percieves everything first and foremost through his passion for monsters. His daydream of monsters attacking—killing—humans, is fundamentally a daydream of the world he understands (monsters) overthrowing the world that is so illogical to him, that has repeatedly shunned him (other people). I joked to my friends that it's an autistic power fantasy, and it actually sort of is. And in it, his identity is aligned with that of the monsters, while his anger manifests in a palpable dissociation from the rest of humanity. This is one manga page. It's brief. It's also very, very raw to me. I think about it often.

To conclude, I love Laios Dungeon Meshi. This portrayal of open frustration in an autistic character meant a lot to me, and I hope I've sufficiently outlined why. Also, feel free to recommend media with autistic representation in the notes if you've read this far—I would really like to see if there is more of this nature. Thank you for reading. I'm very tired and should probably sleep now.

[rosesnbooks]

Astrology observations #2

-people who lack an element in their chart really do surround themselves with a lot of people in said element. for example, my friend lacks earth and has at least 4 friends who are earth sun signs

-some capricorns really can't get along with leos, but they are attracted to sag and aries placements. they can't help it

-mars in the 1st house get sexualised a lot, to the point it gets too much for some people..especially women. these people are also very ambitious. even when going through tough times, they never lose sight from their goals

-mercury in aquarius have a unique humor. the same goes for mercury in the 11th.

-virgo mercury pay attention to details, esp when they like you..the things they remember and gifts they give you, shows how thoughtful they are

- fire signs/houses..please tell me that you've been told at least once that you talk too loud. i have aries mercury and my friend mercury in the 9th and we both had a revelation that we talk too loud lmao

-well-developed capricorns are such sweethearts. they are reasonable and grounded, but they are also so funny and charming. they may appear as if they have everything under control at all times, but they're just like the rest of us

-water signs have the craziest dreams i swear😭some can sound like scenes from a movie, fantasy and/or horror

-moon in the 5th house/leo think about themselves a lot and take things personally. they think everything is about them. on the other hand, they have the biggest hearts and they want to make everyone they love happy. can you blame them tho for wanting to feel like a main character

-when you want to ease your mind, talk to someone who has a sagittarius mercury and they will cheer you up

-having an empty 7th house might mean that you don't have much, if any, relationship experience. you probably give good relationship advice though

-aquarius/11th house placements have their own strong moral code. they can usually hide their feelings well, but if they realise someone is being intolerant towards others and mean, they'll get really emotional. they want the world to be a better place, and get frustrated when they see how many people don't care

-capricorn placements may have really complex relationship with their parents. they often expect too much from their kids, and since they prove that they can endure almost everything, the parents don't loosen their grip. they need to know their worth and forget about the expectations!

-mercury retrograde can really cause communication issues for people. it is difficult for these people to express how they feel and stand up to others. but, it does get better with time!

-aries and taurus placements combo in a man can be very dark imo, they are often players. they also have huge ego problems. i dislike emphasizing only the darker parts of people, so i have to admit that these placements, if well-developed, can be very loyal and passionate especially with people they love. they are also incredibly hard-working and focused, it's really admirable.

-be careful when dealing with men that have virgo and libra placements in their chart. some may be romantic and attentive, while others can nitpick your every flaw and can have ridiculously high standards. they can cheat and lie easily as well

-sagittarius venus love adventure, having a partner who doesn't know how to have fun and explore things is a big turn off to them. they can make compromises for their more serious partners, but if they can't reciprocate the same effort, it's not going to work

-cancer risings seem very approachable and kind. their eyes are usually big and curious, almost childlike

-this has been said many times, but venus in the 1st individuals truly are beautiful. there is also something different and captivating in their beauty, they stand out wherever they go

-saturn in the 3rd house/gemini may indicate that a person faced speech/writing difficulties when they were young, or they continue to struggle with it

-pisces moons tend to forget things and their memory can betray them at times. as a pisces moon, i think that's because we are in our heads too much and we remember how we felt about things, not the words and actions. we also struggle with being present 100% of the time, so we perhaps didn't listen to you in the first place (i'm sorry)

take this with a grain of salt, since i only read about astrology in my free time!💜

[churipu]

I LOVE HOW YOU WRITE GOJO !!! could i request him having a girlfriend that's really good in the kitchen? like both cooking AND baking !! i can imagine him getting a sugar rush (from her !!) because she tried recreating (and succeeded) his favorite kikufuku from scratch 🩷 and she's probably worrying all the time if the stuff that she makes is good because she just cooks and bakes "for fun" and not as a full time thing 🥹

SUGAR RUSH ! — GOJO SATORU + A GOOD COOK GIRLFRIEND

featuring. gojo satoru

warning. none :)

note. hii anon! <33 i absolutely love this, i can just imagine him being so happy about having a really good cook girlfriend. i hope this is to your liking, have a great day anon! and to you readers, have a big fat sloppy kiss mwah!

"baby, did you make this yourself?" gojo asks you, taking a bite out of the kikufuku mochi you made him this afternoon.

he had opened the freezer a few minutes prior to look for anything he can nibble on — and oolala he came across a tray of kikufuku he doesn't remember being there. but having a good cook of a girlfriend, he wasn't even surprised anymore, he's just very delighted to have his very own homemade kikufuku made by yours truly.

you nodded your head, "do you...like it? tell me how it tastes, i've been working on it for a while now so i'm not sure how it would taste."

"like it? i don't like it." gojo mutters out, eyeing you.

you didn't take things to the heart quickly, you've always believed that failing is a process of learning. so you chuckled, "don't worry about it, i'll try making another one for you. was it too sweet? or was the mochi skin weird on texture?"

gojo grins, "baby, i love it! you really should think about opening your own restaurant — i'll even fund it, no kidding." he tells you, taking another bite out of the kikufuku mochi.

opening a restaurant has been a long time dream. and gojo knew, but there are a few reasons to why it hasn't opened up till' now, you weren't confident with your own cooking. no matter how many times gojo told you about how good they are — you still think they aren't restaurant worthy yet.

"maybe next time? i don't think i have the time for it now," you were technically speaking half the truth.

you had a stable job that pays well (not as much as gojo who's a jujutsu sorcerer, but still enough) — you landed a job as a baker, so you all you needed to do was follow your boss' recipe and everything was settled.

"you can just resign and...focus on this one, hm?" gojo slithered his arms around your waist, pressing kisses on the side of your face— in a way on encouraging you, "i'll even help you, 'm sure it's going to be a great hit!"

you chuckled at his statement, "maybe in a few years, satoru?"

the male whines, burying his face into your neck. he'd never understood why you always tell him that, no matter how hard he tried to convince you about opening a restaurant, you'd decline saying that it wasn't time yet.

but gojo, he could see right through you like an open book. the problem wasn't it being "the wrong time", it was how you weren't confident with what you've made; despite him telling you thousands of time that what you made never fail to amaze him with your cooking.

you sometimes think he was saying that just to make you happy.

cooking for gojo has been a daily routine, he never asks for you to do it — you just liked cooking so much that you made it your job to always make sure he's full. knowing he has a sweet tooth, especially for kikufuku, you try your best to make them for him.

it was quite hard to nail the dessert on the first few times. but like everyone said: "practice makes perfect" and sure enough your hard work pays off, he does enjoy the kikufuku you took long to perfect. and your heart feels full.

"a few years? that's too long," he whines, "how about now?"

you laughed lightly, "you're cute. if you wanted to taste my cooking, i can just make it for you, y'know?" gojo laid his chin on top of your head and grumbled.

"i want the whole world to taste your cooking," he mutters out.

how sweet of him.

"aren't I your world?" you found yourself spouting out non-sense just to try to avoid the same topic yet again — gojo sensed so, and he didn't push on with it. if he finds you avoiding it, it just meant one thing; you didn't want to talk about it, it wasn't that hard to understand, really.

gojo nodded his head, "good point. you are my world," he laughs lightly, kissing the top of your head, nuzzling his nose into your hair.

if you could see his face right now, you'd be worried. gojo satoru, the strongest, had his brows furrowed and a frown on his face, he was worried about you. a lot. sometimes he just wants to cup your face, give you kisses and tell you that you're the best cook he has ever met, he was pretty damn sure he's heard you saying how you weren't a good cook because you do it as a hobby and not professionally — or along the lines of that.

"satoru, i'm trying to put these kikufuku in the freezer or they'll fall apart," you softly lets his arms go, "you can snack on these later if you're hungry. or maybe you could bring them to the kids too, i made quite a lot."

by kids you meant yuuji, nobara, and megumi. gojo being their teacher also meant you having a lot of meetings with the trio — and they have been nothing but sweet to you, sometimes you find yourself packing food for gojo to bring for them.

"good idea, i'll give it to them so they know how much of a good cook you are. yeah? maybe they'll help me convince you to open your very own restaurant," you laughed lightly, shaking your head at his idea.

gojo puckered his lips out, "if you don't want to open a restaurant then at least let me have one more kikufuku. last one, promise."

you shook your head, putting the tray of kikufuku inside the freezer, "you've had four! you'll get sick," gojo puts his hands on either side of your waist, carrying you to the side so he could make his way to the freezer, "hey!"

"the only thing i'll be getting is a sugar rush, angel."

"oh god, that's even worse than you getting sick," gojo turns his head to look at you, his cerulean eyes narrowed, "i am not taking care of you if you get sick, you hear me?"

gojo arched a brow, "you said that last time, and the only person who stayed by my side the whole entire time was you," he pinched your cheek gently with a large grin, "you'll take care of me, will ya'?"

knowing he was right you let out an exasperated sigh, "you're silly. don't eat more or i'll stop making them for you— i'm just afraid you'll get a sugar rush tonight. don't you remember the last time it happened?"

gojo scratches his nape with a nervous smile. a few weeks ago, you made a big strawberry swiss roll — and the male managed to chow down on it in a matter of hours. late at night, he was wide awake, babbling about how much he loves you and then proceeded to list everything that he loves about you from a to z.

it was quite sweet of him, but still: you needed sleep. as a result, you barely gotten any sleep at all and had to go to work exhausted; although gojo did apologize for his nightly sugar rush, and tried to make it up to you by "cooking" for you, which ended up disastrous as he had gotten distracted by a tv show in the middle of his cooking. no foods were served that night so you both had to get take out.

and you had to throw out your favorite non-stick pan because of that.

you appreciated his effort though (and this time he made it up to you by purchasing a pan set — which he told you was a token of his apology for ruining your favorite pan and for his sugar rush).

"hey, i was showing my love to you. and plus, you got a set of brand new pan because of my sugar rush," gojo defends himself with a smile, leaning onto the kitchen island.

"in an exchange for my exhaustion, i almost passed out at work," he gasps out dramatically.

"why wasn't i informed of that? oh my god, 'm a monster." he talked to himself, which you weren't even surprised of anymore, so you let out a soft chuckle.

"kidding. but no— i'd never like to see or hear your sugar rush anymore, i have work tomorrow. i'll be fine if it's the weekend," i poked his side, walking away.

gojo grabbed your arm, pulling you close, "what if you don't have work tomorrow?"

you arched a brow in confusion, "but i do."

he smiles ever so sweetly that it was starting to get suspicious, "oh, i know! i was just asking, y'know?"

"o...kay then?"

gojo, that slick motherfucker, called your boss and told her you were sick and wouldn't be able to come tomorrow. and so— began the restless night of his episode of sugar rush and just the tenth thousands of "i love you"s from him.

© CHURIPU 2023 , DO NOT COPY OR REPOST ANYWHERE !

[mayullla]

Title: Nahida's dream and plushies

Character(s): Nahida and most of the Sumeru characters (Genshin Impact)

Summary: In her dream, she saw a lady, someone she recognized but didn't remember who till she woke up, and right beside her were plushies waiting to be taken to their look a like

Warnings/tags: Fem!reader (but doesn't appear here), sagau as in cult au/god au, no romance just mainly fluff!

Klee and the little plushies Qiqi's plushie delivery Sayu's plushie mission Nahida's dream and plushies (you are here!)

Nahida was a little bit in a daze. Her mind was elsewhere as she looked at the dolls in front of her. Small dolls made out of felt and wool. They all looked familiar to her, and she would have cooed at how cute they were, yet her mind could not help but think about that lady in her dream.

She looked like someone she knew... that aura of comfort and kindness that surround her wasn't like those old grannies who gave kids candies kind of gentle but something more eternal, more powerful than that. It would be hard to compare the power she had to the archons cause you and they were so different... so far apart.

This supposes elemental power... colorless but moldable and changing. Even archons were limited to their own element and weren't limitless, the Geo archon was strong, and he could command meteorites to fall into Teyvat and build high mountains. But he could not command the sea to flood the world. She herself even as an archon wasn't able to do much in the face of many who didn't want her back once.

"What are you looking so gloomy at." Nahida snapped out of her thoughts when she heard a cold, harsh yet familiar voice speaking to her. Looking to the side, she saw that huge hat of a certain someone she knew. "Wanderer." Nahida smiled at him, moving to face him. "I was looking at these cute dolls. Don't they remind you of some people?" Nahida giggled, knowing full well that he was familiar with some of them.

Wanderer raised an eyebrow at the many dolls that were placed on a table at the side of the room. Small plushies with simplified designs of people he knew. Rather than cute...

"They look creepy rather than cute." Wanderer crossed his arms as he narrowed his eyes.

"Do not say that. What if you hurt the person who made them." Nahida shook her head sighing. "Then they shouldn't have made such creepy things. What are they, a stalker?" Wanderer sarcastically replied.

"She is not a stalker... rather, she is someone we know... and wish to see. She made these just for us." Nahida replied. Looking back at the dolls walking towards it, she reached out for a small plushie from the bunch and handed it to the Wanderer. "Here. This is for you."

"Hmmm? I didn't know that there was another archon." Wanderer looked at the doll that looked just like him with the hair and clothes to the pout with a suspicious look. He must have noticed the white elemental aura surrounding it, but as Nahida continued to hold it out for him. Grabbing the doll, he took a closer look at it.

"She isn't an archon, someone far greater than that, actually..." Nahida replied to the Wanderer in a serious tone but didn't elaborate. Instead, she looked back at the plushies. "Wanderer, can you help me hand out these plushies. She had asked my help to give them out."

"Do it yourself. You don't really need my help with something like this. You are probably using this as an excuse for me to interact with more people." Wanderer huffed in annoyance, turning to leave. "If you don't need me, I will be heading out then."

"Hehe.. you caught me." Nahida laughed and let Wanderer head out. She, too, was busy with this after all. In her mind, she stored the memory of the Wanderer holding on to his plushie in one hand, the thoughtful looked he gave it when he thought she wasn't looking. She knew that he would not throw it away.

Storing them in a bag, she headed out of the room she started to search.

And the first person she found was Collie!

Collie was flustered when the dendro archon walked up to her as she had just come to the city with Tighnari as he had an appointment with his friends. She followed along as wanted to see the place again and buy some stuff that she could only get here.

She didn't think she would run into the dendro archon, much less suddenly be given a doll. "Is this for me?" Collie asked, taking the doll and holding it as if it would break by a slight touch. She heard from her friend Amber that she had received a doll from a mysterious lady and that it was the cutest thing ever. And it really was cute when Collie saw a small doodle of it she thought of getting one for herself.

She didn't expect she would be receiving one from the dendro archon! The both of them soon parted ways, and Collie thought of what she would tell Amber later on in her letter. Her little doll also had a small cat plush connected to it!

The next person Nahida found was Nilou, who was street performing in the middle of city hall. Her dance was so graceful and lovely Nahida didn't want to bother and instead watched till it ended, clapping when it had finished. Nilou greeted the Dendro archon with respect, happy that her archon made a visit and watched her dance.

Nahida told her that the dance was so pretty and gifted her the plush. Surprised, Nilou asked her if she was the one who made it, but Nahida shook her head, telling her that it was from a special someone.

The fans were jealous of how much Nilou treasured the doll, while others couldn't help but smile. After all, it was an honor to receive something given by the dendro archon, and they were proud of Nilous.

Next, Nahida found Cyno, who was in the middle of a TCG match. She watched him conquer the match after struggling in the first few rounds. "It is an honor that the dendro archon watched my match." Cryo raved on about his journey to win this match, and as a congratulation, Nahida gave him a little plush. "I shall treasure and protect this till my dying breath."

"Please, you don't have to go that far," Nahida replied with a worried smile. Tho it made her a little happy that he would treasure the plushie this much.

Next, she found Kaveh speaking with Dori, something about a dept, but before Nahida could get more information (not that she was trying to eavesdrop), they stopped as they had noticed her.

"My do what do I owe the Dendro archon the pleasure of visiting the Palace of Alcazarzaray. Could you be looking for something? Fabrics? Spice? Or something rare? I have it all!" Dori said, couldn't be able to contain her excitement at the idea of the dendro archon becoming her dear customer.

Kaveh was slightly more flustered but quickly composed himself and respectfully asked why she was here and if she was looking for something or someone.

"I am here to find you two." Nahida smiled and showed them two plushies that looked just like them. "They are a gift from a certain someone!" The two were surprised at the dolls, accepting them from her.

Both had different reactions.

On one hand, Kaveh had a more touched expression asking Nahida if he could know who made this lovely handmade plushie of him and his bag and that he wanted to give back, while Dori was more materialistic having come up with "a brilliant idea!" Raising her plushie with a purple small genie plush jingling at the movement to the sky, her eyes twinkling at the thought of potential mora~!

Nahida could only smile, her face hinting that the maker doesn't want to be known. Kaveh, knowing that he could not do anything here, could not help but sigh but stated that if this person were to ever need any help that he could possibly give, feel free to ask. (Dori was disappointed that she would not hire the person who made these plushies.)

The next she found was Candace and Dehya at the desert village, the two catching up after fighting some treasure hoarders trying to steal from the village. "Ah, it is the dendro archon Nahida! It has been a while!"

"Welcome to Aaru village, dendro archon."

Giving them their plush, both of them found the plushies absolutely adorable and asked the person who made them if they ever feel comfortable to come and visit them one time. Candace would gladly welcome them to the village while Dehya offered a small shopping spree as she knew all the trends and shops or if they ever needed a bodyguard one day just call her.

The last two girls, Faruzan and Layla, were found at the academy as both of them traded notes that were of interest but also some chit-chat. The two were surprised when they found out that the dendro archon was looking for them as one of the scholars frantically searched for them told them so.

"This is so cute. It even has twirly whirly my shroom buddy beside it.... I miss them." "This doll is very cute. You could see the hard work and effort placed into making each and every single stitch. Send the person who made them my thanks. I would do it myself, but it seems that they don't want to be known." "Me too! I think with this I could do better in my essay that I need to finish... yawn"

The last two people she needed to look for were Tighnari and Al Haitham and soon found them sitting at the cafe along with Kaveh and Cyno. In Al Haitham's hand was Kaveh plush while one Tighnari's was Cyno both examine it.

Cyno was going on and on about the card game he won in the presence of the dendro archon and that it was an honor to win in her presence as Tighnari told him to stop telling the same story for the third time now. "We get it. We know that you will hand down this plushie as a family heirloom!"

"There is something about these dolls that is not right...." Al Haitham narrowed his eyes at Kaveh's dolls. He definitely knew that something was up with these. "They are given by the dendro archon herself. Of course, they are unique! Gah, you are always suspicious of everything." Kaveh stated frustratedly. "Do you ever know how to relax and just appreciate the work that went into making this!"

"If you would just stop and look a little harder, maybe you would notice that something is odd about them." Al Haitham didn't look up at Kaveh. These dolls in the end weren't gifts from the dendro archon but someone who is probably of higher rank than an archon to be able to make the archon do such work.

"Al Haitham is correct about them being unique. You would never find these dolls somewhere else, even if you searched the whole Teyvat." Nahida cut in, walking towards them with a smile on her face. Everyone looked at Nahida, who stopped beside them, Al Haitham and Tighnari greeted her as they didn't see her beforehand like the other two boys had.

"These are for you!" Nahida giggled, handing Tighnari and Al Haitham their own plushies both thanking her for them. "What do you mean by unique?" Tighnari asked curiously, his tail swishing a little faster as he looked at his own doll. He saw Collie's one and wondered if he could get one, too. Lightly tugging the doll's ear long as his own, he looked at Nahida again.

"They are from someone special, someone who watches over us all." Nahida stated, her eyes closing as she remembered the lady she met in her dream, the little conversation that she and you had.

She didn't realize who you were nor why she thought that you were so familiar to her back then inside the dream she only realize who you were when she woke up and saw the plushies on the side of her and a familiar white elemental magic surrounding them.

Returning back to her room, she saw a doll that looked exactly like her surrounded by Aranara plushies. Smiling at the doll, she hugged hers and hoped that one day she would actually see you in person and not in a dream.

Note: If you find any mistakes here please tell me! Anyway, phew part 4 of the series is over! I know that Genshin has released characters outside of Sumeru that are not included here in the series yet but I plan on saving it for a later date when more characters for the past regions show up!

Another note for taglist: The tag list will be open later when Fontaine is somewhat finished and most characters are already out which would probably take a longggg time. But for now, the taglist will be closed. If anybody does not want to be tagged later tell me so that I can remove you from the list.

Taglist: @victoria1676 @muse-hub @simpaghettits @patimiet @mrmoneymoney @tsubasa10126-unwinds @akenofujihara @landofstarwind @imyme20 @strawberrgyuu @frostines-blog @barbaraphoetathoes @zyphyrr @that-emo-elf @itsyacuhjake @glue-bottle @tiffthescales @eliciana @the-real-fandom-person @pimacolada-lulu @mei-eishi @scalyalpaca @atsukawolfcat @riiriin @pale-value @dreamoffireflies06 @3noa3 @lwqfhp @mei-simp @silentterri @mishapotato @oyayablog @esthelily @tikitsune @shizunxie @jennyzyn @azelalxforfun @myhandshurts @wolfyzey18 @karma-gisa @chaoticfivesworld

[mochinomnoms]

*slams open door*

Mochi! Mochi! I have an idea.

So a troupe I see on pixiv fanart is a character swapping with their future selves. I saw one where Azul wakes up in bed with his future wife Yuu and she's teased him because she can tell it's past Azul and he doesn't recognize her. She gives him a hint how to recognize her by some birthmarks she has on her chest.

I've seen a couple artists do it with Floyd as well, and a fanfic with past and future Yuu swapping with each other and poor younger Malleus is overwhelmed because OMG this beautiful woman is flirting with me and she's my future wife? There's something hilarious about the younger guys just not knowing how to handle the future version of Yuu.

So now I'm thinking how funny it would be for Past!PTMYuu swapping places with future!PTMYuu. Like P!Yuu wakes up in an unknown house in somebody's bed and confused as fuck and gets even more confused because suddenly these little kids are running in, telling Mommy it's time to get up and Yuu's like, who's mommy? Then who should walk in but Jade telling the kids to let Mommy rest and then he notices that the Yuu in their bedroom is not his wife(Yuu's still wearing her NRC uniform and shouldn't fit it anymore after getting older and having kids) and ohh he's going to have fun with this. He'll start in with the thoughts "ohh my beautiful pearl was absolutely adorable back at NRC, look at how tiny and cute you were, I know you can hear me pearl..." And fuck he knows about her telepathy. Poor Yuu overloads with the fact that Jade actually married her, they have kids, and is still so damn in love with her as he was at NRC.

Meanwhile F!Yuu is back at Past NRC and is calming down Yuu's friends. No, your Yuu is fine. If I'm right she's with my husband and kids right now and he'll take care of her. Some of the cast are obviously curious about Yuu's husband and F!Yuu is all "nah... sorry I can't say, don't wanna mess with the future." and of course the one who wants to know the most is Jade. F!Yuu is laughing to themselves because man, they remember how down horrendously Jade was in school and he doesn't know at this time that Yuu can read his thoughts. I'd like to think Yuu learned to better control the telepathy so she just tunes into his thoughts every now and then and it's just his thoughts bouncing around like "Oh seven my pearl is absolutely gorgeous in the future. Please tell me I'm your husband. I have to be! What would our kids look like. How many would we have? Do they look like my pearl or me? I hope one looks like my pearl they'd be the cutest baby!"

Eventually somebody figures out how to send the Yuu's back to their right time. Hugs for everybody but P!Jade gets a quick peck on the cheek before F!Yuu hops into whatever portal is sending her back and the last thought she hears from P!Jade is him screaming in his mind how much he loves her.

P!Yuu gets back and now has to deal with Jade's even more thoughts about the future and apparently a few others people thinking that man, Yuu's gonna be such a milf in the future.

Somebody please help Yuu, poor thing can only take so much.

Ah I love silly time travel stories (I ignore paradoxes) and this is one of my favorite tropes! It's what one of the fics from the poll is based on, but with all of the overblot cast instead!

I'm so excited to write it, I have many ideas for everyone, especially Leona and Idia's chapters!!

For Jade though, I think it would be so funny. He's positively enamored seeing milf/dilf Yuu. He's internalizing everything, of course, so no one except Yuu and Floyd and Azul can really tell he's being affected.

He's staring a little longer than he really should, but he's surprised that future Yuu doesn't seem to mind. In fact, they're much calmer than usual. Usually they'd be excitable with their friends and quite shy and quiet with him. But future Yuu looks at him with such fondness that Jade lets himself dream that they look at him like that because they're future spouses.

(In the back of his mind, there is a mix of hope and dread. That's a wedding band on their hand. They're taken, but was it by him?)

Imagine everyone's surprise and shock when, right before leaving, future Yuu walks up to Jade (even in the future, they haven't grown much) to tip toe and press a sweet little kiss to the cheek as they cup his face with the absolute most tenderness.

Jade's frozen, the others are murmuring to each other, and future Yuu disappears and in their place is their original Yuu. Red-faced, covered in a large brown coat that most definitely does not belong to them, and staring Jade down.

Covering their red-face and all. Poor Jade is now giddy and a bit concerned (he hopes that scream was due to flusteredness and not fear, though he does love how entertaining they always are), while Yuu is screaming into their couch as they try to process several things, including the knowledge that they weren't at all displeased knowing that they married Jade.

[writtenbymisunderstoodnerds]

Falling in love again (Christen Press x Reader)

Writers block is being a pain at the moment so sorry it's been a while since I posted. I'll be back to trying to write my list of requests in a few weeks when I'm back from holiday. This wasn't requested, just a random idea and probably not very good but I hope you like it!

Warnings: Death of a partner, grief. If you find anything else let me know and I'll add it!

Words: 4.3K

---

Almost two years had passed since I lost my person. The person I thought I would spend my life with, the person I loved more than I thought it was possible to love someone. Life was cruel like that, giving you a person who understood you, who loved you so deeply, only to rip it away in the worst way possible. The day the phone call came, telling me Talia had been in an accident that claimed her life was a blur. Honestly, at times it still felt like a dream. The overwhelming grief, disbelief and fear I felt that day still ever present if I thought back to it. 

I had almost quit soccer for good after that, but I knew she wouldn't want me too. Talia loved watching me play, she knew how much I loved it, always encouraging me and supporting me in everything I did. So I kept going, every game I played, I played for her. The grief had faded since then. It was always there, it always would be, some days were worse than others, but it was bearable. It didn't consume me like it once had.   

One of the things Talia used to love was colouring in my tattoos. Not that I would have admitted it to her, but once we started dating, my new tattoos were purely designed so she could colour them. Our spare time was often spent with her colouring them while I drew or did random stuff. It was something I found myself doing often, especially when I was missing her.

Someone sat down next to me as I slowly coloured in one of the many tattoos scattered over my body. I didn't pay them much attention, continuing colouring, "What are you doing?"

I shrugged, not looking up at Emily, "Colouring."

"Is she colouring in her tattoos again?" Kelley asked sitting across from us.

"Yup, we really need to get her paper or a colouring book."

"Have you ever noticed even when there's paper around she still does it? Look at how comfortable and peaceful she looks. It's like a built in stress relief." I fought the urge to chuckle at how they talked as if I wasn't there. To be fair I was only half listening. 

"Why do you colour in your tattoos?"

I sighed, putting down the pen. The team had been bugging me for months now about it. These were some of the people I trusted most in the world, there was no reason to keep hiding it from them. "It reminds me of my wife. She would sit there for hours colouring in my tattoos while I drew. It became sort of a routine."

"You're married? You don't wear a ring."

I pulled the chain around my neck that held a simple black band and a silver band with a line of diamonds. "Mine and hers," I took a deep breath trying to control my emotions, "She died almost 2 years ago, I only take it off for games."

"God Y/n, I'm so sorry," Ali said, pulling me in for a quick hug.

Alex was the next to pull me into a tight hug, "How come we never knew? We've known you longer then two years?"

"No one knew except our close friends and family. At the time we weren't as close as we are now and I guess I couldn't bring myself to mention it after. We never specifically hid it, just didn't put it out there. She never wanted to the world to know who she was. Never wanted who she was with to impact her kids."

"She had kids?"

"She was a teacher at a school for kids with disabilities. They meant the world to her, she would do anything for them. It was always a worry that her suddenly being known would affect her job in some way."

"It sounds like she was an amazing person. I'm sad we never got to meet her."

"You did, you just never knew who she was to me."

"Talia? I remember you mentioning that she passed away and that's why you took that break," Alyssa asked.

"Yup, we had been married 4 years the day you met her."

"That's why you completely disappeared that day then wouldn't tell us why."

A small smile appeared on my face remembering that day. We had booked a hotel room, ordered way to much room service, gave each other massages, then had a bath and watched movies. It was simple, but one of my favourite nights besides the day we got married, "She had flown in that weekend just so we could celebrate our anniversary. We never spent one apart."

---

Christen sat down on her bed, staring up at me for a second before speaking, "That's why you turn everyone down when they ask you out? Including me."

There had been many people over the years that had asked me on dates, all being turned down for obvious reasons. Christen had been one of them though, about a year after Talia passed. Besides Talia, Christen was the only person I could actually see myself with if I ever got to a point where I felt ready. That wasn't now, but part of me hoped it would happen soon. Despite the guilt and grief that was there, I wanted the chance to be happy again with someone. We had talked about it a few times and neither of us wanted the other to hold on for too long. Talia would want me to be happy, to move on and one day, when the time was right, I would.

I sighed sitting down next to Christen. Sitting or lying on the others bed was a pretty common occurrence when we roomed together. "You know I know she would want me to be happy, but every time I even think about starting to date again, it feels like I'm betraying her. Like if I start something, I'll forget her."

"You'll never forget her. No matter what you're doing or who you're with, she will always be in your heart. She'll always be your person, but you can love someone else while still loving her just as much as you always have. It's not one or the other and if the next person doesn't understand that then they aren't worth the time. There's no rush to move on."

"Thanks Chris. Out of all the people that have asked me out, you're the only one I thought about saying yes to. I'm sorry I wasn't ready."

Christen placed her hand on my knee, squeezing gently. Something that always seemed to make me feel peace. "Don't be. I always knew there was a slim chance of you saying yes and I accepted that. I was just happy that it didn't change our friendship."

"Would you still be open to that date? Not right now, but sometime in the near future."

"Of course I would. There's no rush or pressure though Y/n/n, whenever you're ready, I'm ready. And if you're never ready that's okay too."

--- Today was two years since Talia was taken. Of course it was game day. When I realised the date it was like a weight was sitting on my chest. Christen was still asleep so I slipped quietly into the bathroom to shower and let the tears out. I had originally been thinking about pulling out of the game, but after my shower I was actually feeling okay to play. I was determined to win for her. 

The final whistle blew as I clung onto whoever was closest, my knees trying to give out on me. The rush of emotions I felt was not what I expected. Happiness, relief, grief all rushing through me as I tried to hold it together in front of everyone. Letting my emotions show in front of friends or family was hard enough, I didn't need that happening in front of the fans. 

I managed to hold it together enough to greet the fans before we made our way to the locker room. As I put the necklace back on, I broke. Tears silently streaming down my cheeks before a sob forced it's way out. Instantly, Ali's arms wrapped around me tightly as I sobbed into her shoulder. I didn't like crying in front of people, but there was no stopping it. So for once, I just let it out with the comfort of the people I trusted most. 

Once I had calmed down, Ali finally spoke up, "What's going on Y/n/n?"

"I-it's been 2 years sin-since- I'm sorry."

Ali's arms tightened as another hand squeezed mine, "Never apologise for feeling how you feel. You can always feel how you feel with us. We've got you always."

We spent longer in the locker room than we normally would as the girls took turns comforting me and making sure I was okay before we left. After dinner, most of the team ended up in one of the rooms for team bonding. There were quite a few questions about Talia, normally I didn't talk about her much because of the emotions it brings up, but everyone seemed genuinely interested in her.  Also, talking about her was actually quite therapeutic.  

Even though it was therapeutic, talking about Talia still brought up emotions so I had found myself cuddled up with Ali for comfort. I had almost went to Christen for comfort, but the guilt had started to creep in again making me decide against it.

"How old were you when you got married? It must have been quite young," Tierna asked.  

"We were. We started dating at 19, married at 23.  Possibly too young in some peoples opinions, but at the time we just got the idea in our heads and went with it. I proposed and 2 months later we were married. My time with Talia was incredible, it was fun and low maintenance. We met in college when we both didn't have a lot of money, most of our dates in our first few years were picnics, walks or movie nights. 

I mean our first anniversary, we made each other homemade cards. Talia got me marshmallows because I was obsessed with them at the time and I got her chocolate and gummy bears. We ended up at the beach, making smores before going back to my apartment and making pasta for dinner. To this day that was probably one one of my favourites. Talia never cared about fancy or expensive things, that never changed the further I got in my professional career or as our money situation changed. She was just happy if we were together."

I knew I was rambling, but I couldn't help myself. Talking about Talia before I lost her was one of my favourite things. The girls didn't seem to mind though as everyone's attention seemed to be completely on me. "She sounds like she was an incredible person."

"She was. I think she would have gotten along with all of you. Especially Emily and Kelley. Talia loved pranks and just being annoying. She wrapped up a carrot and gave it to me more than once, she would pull little pranks all the time or poke and prod at me constantly."

Later that night, Christen got my attention as I slipped into my bed, "Hey, you doing okay? I know today was hard."

"It was, but I'm feeling okay right now. I think talking about her helped. I've never really let myself because of the emotions it brings up. Turns out it's quite freeing to talk about her."

"The team would agree, it was nice to hear about her. I can see how much you love her."

"It's uh not weird for you is it?"

"No. Y/n, she was your wife, you love her, you always will. I know that. If we were to eventually get to a point past friendship, I would never expect anything else. You can talk to me about her whenever you want and I don't want you to feel bad about it."

"Thank you Chris. I don't want you to think I'm leading you on or anything. I have every intention of asking you on a date, I just need a bit of time."

"Hey, I don't think that at all. Like I said, there is no rush, there's no expectations."

---

It had been about six months since mine and Christen's initial conversation. I was finally feeling like I was ready to try dating again, all I had to do was ask. It had taken longer than I thought it would and a part of me was thinking that Christen would have lost interest by now or just didn't want to deal with my past. A part of me was tempted to not ask, to save myself from rejection, but I also knew there was no way to know unless I asked. 

"So."

"So?"

I took a deep breath, trying to clear some of the nerves that had been building. I had never asked one out let alone dated anyone else besides Talia. Christen sent me a small smile, the nerves melting away when I saw the adoration in her eyes. "Will you go on a date with me Chris?"

"You're ready for that?"

"I think so, I've been thinking about it a lot recently. It's just this is something I haven't done with anyone besides Talia so I might not be perfect or even close to it, but I'll try."

"I would love to Y/n. Just tell me if we go on this date and you realise you're not ready. I'll understand. You also don't have to be perfect, we'll figure this out as we go okay?"

"Thank you Chris. I'll pick you up at 6?"

"We're sharing a room."

"I'm going to get ready in Ali and Alex's room, that way I can pick you up."

"And they say chivalry is dead." 

---

Trying to plan a date was so far out of my comfort zone that I didn't even know where to start. Of course I had been on many dates with Talia, but that was different. It had been 10 or so years since my first and only first date. I knew Talia like the back of my hand, I knew what she liked, where she liked to go. Christen on the other hand, I knew her, but to a far lesser extent which was making me overthink. What if she didn't like what I planned? What if I did too much or not enough? 

Before I could continue to spiral, I decided to enlist the help of Tobin. Normally I would go to Ali, but Tobin was Christens bestfriend. 

"You okay Y/n?"

"No. Well yes but also no. Christen and I are going on a date tonight and I'm freaking out. I cannot for the life of me decide what to do. Every time something comes to mind, I convince myself that it's not enough. Chris will be the second person I've ever taken on a date, it needs to be perfect."

Tobin led me to sit on the bed as I had started to pace across the room. "Don't tell her I told you, but Chris doesn't care what you do, she's just happy to go out with you. Tell me your ideas?"

"I know she likes parks or gardens, beaches, picnics, museums, that sort of thing. There's not a beach around otherwise I would take her there and it'll be too late to take her to the museum but I found a nice park the other day. It has a lake and there were heaps of like lights and stuff. Was thinking picking up some takeaway and other bits to have a picnic at the park, but it doesn't seem like enough."

"Y/n, that is perfect. I know this is pretty much completely new to you, but you just need to try relax a little bit. You know Chris, she's your friend, you know what she likes. She's going to love a picnic in the park, maybe a walk around after."

"Thank you Tobs."

"Hey Y/n?"

"Yeah?"

"Chris is going into this knowing there's a chance you realise you're not ready and she'll understand that, everyone will. There'll be no hard feelings or anything. Just if that happens, please tell her sooner rather than later. I know you won't do it on purpose, but I don't want her to get her hopes up."

"I will. This wasn't a decision I made lightly, I feel ready and I'm really hoping I am. I admit, it does feel a bit weird, but I really like her Tobin. The last thing I want to do is hurt her."

Tobin smiled slightly, pulling me into a quick hug, "I know and so does Chris. Just take it one step at a time, you don't need to rush anything or do anything that doesn't feel right."

After one last hug I made my way to the door, "Thanks Tobs, I should go get ready before I make myself late."

Before heading back to my room, I ran down to the shop to get a few things. Picking out what to buy took longer than it should have. Everything I thought about buying, I ended up second guessing if Christen actually liked it. Time was running out though so I ended up picking out some wine I thought she liked and some other picnic type things.

Despite almost making myself late, I knocked on the door at exactly 6 pm, trying my best to push down the nerves. Tobin was right, Christen was my friend, I knew she didn't expect or even really like some fancy date. There was no real reason to be this nervous. Part of it was probably because of how new it was, part of me was second guessing if I was truly ready for this, but I think that was due to nerves and not wanting to hurt Christen. Another part was because it was Christen. Gorgeous, kind, thoughtful Christen. Anyone in their right mind would be nervous to be going on a date with her. 

"Hi Y/n/n."

"Hi."

Christen smiled, kissing my cheek softly, "You okay?" 

"A bit nervous, but I'm okay. You ready to go?"

We made our way out of the hotel, stopping to pick up takeaway before starting the ten minute walk to the park. Christen didn't ask about what we were doing, instead making random conversation. Knowing I was nervous, I had a feeling she was doing it on purpose to try calm me down. It was definitely working, my nerves were fading away the longer we talked and I wasn't thinking so much about if it was enough. Instead, I was letting myself be excited about it. 

When we got to the park, Christens eyes lit up as she looked around. I found a nice spot by the lake, spreading everything out on the blanket as Christen got comfortable. "How'd you find this place? It's beautiful."

"I stumbled upon it when I went for a walk the other night."

"You went for a walk, alone at night?"

"Maybe not my best idea, but I needed to clear my head away from our room, away from the hotel."

Concern covered Christens face as she straightened slightly, "Away from our room? Was I doing something wrong?"

"No, no you didn't do anything. I was trying to figure out if I asked you out or not. I guess I was worried that I had left it too long and maybe you weren't interested anymore. I also felt a bit guilty, making you wait so long. It seems unfair to you. Got in my head about it I guess. If you can't tell, I'm a bit of an overthinker sometimes."

"Well I'm glad you did. This wasn't unfair to me, I promise. You were honest about everything Y/n, you didn't give me false hope or lie to me. That was all I could ask of you. Are you feeling okay about this?"

"I am. Honestly, it feels a little bit weird which maybe you don't want to hear, but I'm really having a good time."

Christen smiled, taking my hand gently, "Look, I don't get how it feels, but I will never dismiss anything you're feeling. You can always talk to me about it. It's okay for it to feel weird because it probably is for you, I don't take offence to that."

"Thank you. Now lets eat before it gets cold."

We spent the next couple of hours talking about anything we could think of. There had never been anyone but Talia that I could talk to so comfortably without running out of things to talk about. That was until Christen came along. Long before there were any feelings, there had always been something about her that made me feel comfortable talking to her about things. Now I craved the conversations I could have with her. I wanted to get to know her more, from the mundane to the personal. 

Conversation continued as we walked around the park hand in hand then back to the hotel when it started to get late. The nerves had long faded by now, instead being replaced by giddiness and maybe butterflies. Going on a date with Christen felt right. Despite the lingering guilt, I knew Talia would approve. I knew that out of anyone to move on with she would have chosen Christen for me. That in itself brought a sense of peace. 

---

Christen slipped under the blankets on her bed, pulling me down with her. I laughed as she wrapped her arms around my shoulders, mumbling something about wanting cuddles. Pulling her closer, I left a soft kiss against her forehead before speaking. "You want me to sleep in your bed tonight?" 

Christen just nodded. We had just got back from our fifth date in two weeks. They could have been spaced out since we lived in the same city, but I felt like a smitten teenager again. Instead of the nerves that plagued me for our first date, I was excited about the dates. Maybe to some it was too many too quick, but I didn't care and Christen didn't seem to either.

Despite the amount of dates we had been on, we were planning on taking things slow. It was my idea to take it slow as this was something I hadn't done in a long time. We had kissed for the first time at the end of the last one, but even though we were rooming together, we hadn't slept in the same bed yet.

"That can be arranged, but I need to get changed and brush my teeth." She groaned dramatically, but let me go with a pout. After completing my nightly routine, I took my necklace off, putting it next to the bed. It felt unfair to Christen to be sleeping in the same bed as her while still wearing my wife's ring.

"What are you doing?"

"Taking it off."

"Because you want to or because you feel you have to?" I just shrugged, Christen stood up, grabbing the necklace and putting it back around my neck before her arms wrapped around my waist from behind. "I will never make you take this off. I never want you to feel like you have to for me okay? You will always love her and that's okay. It doesn't mean you can't have that love for someone else as well."

I nodded leaning back into her. One of my biggest fears with dating someone new was that they wouldn't understand or get mad at the fact that I will always be in love with someone else. That person just happened to not be here anymore. It was scary that I already felt myself falling for Christen, she was just such a beautiful person, inside and out. I don't think I could stop myself from falling even if I wanted to.

---

Christen and I were lying on my bed as the movie credits started to play. We were supposed to go out, but I wasn't feeling up to it. Talia's birthday was in a few days and I had been thinking about her a lot. No matter how much time passed, I still missed her just as much. I was feeling somewhat guilty about the new realisation that I was in love with Christen, like I was being unfaithful to Talia. I felt guilty a lot when Christen and I first started dating. It had mostly faded over the 6 months we had been together, though it always got worse near dates to do with Talia. I just had to keep reminding myself that there was nothing to feel guilty about and that she would be happy for me.

"I hope she's proud of me," I stated quietly, mostly to myself.

Christen turned her head slightly, "Maybe I didn't know her very well, but I know she is. You've come so far in your life and career. You are an amazing person, anyone would be proud of you."

"Sometimes I wish I could have one last conversation with her. See what she thinks of my life, where I am, who I'm with. I still talk to her sometimes, almost expecting a response, but of course it'll never come."

Her fingers laced with mine, squeezing slightly, "I'm sure she's listening and she's happy that you're living the life you want. That's what the people who love us should want for us."

I rolled over so I could look at her properly, brushing a piece of hair out of her face, "Have I ever thanked you? For letting me talk about her, for understanding that me loving her doesn't take away from what I feel for you, for always being there for me on days like our anniversary, or her birthday or the anniversary of her death. It's something I am forever grateful for Chris."

"I will always do all of those things, you don't ever need to thank me. I love you Y/n, I'll always be there for you no matter what."

"Y-you love me?"

"I do. You don't have to say it back, I just wanted you to know."

I kissed her softly, trying to show everything I was feeling, "I love you Chris."

[shatcey]

I've become an animal (Elbert)

Ellis Elbert

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Where were many onomatopoeic sounds that varied greatly in shape and duration depending on what Kate was "saying", I will stick to the original as much as possible. I haven't used it here often, but I'm warning you just in case.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kate is having a dream. She and Elbert are traveling to another country and they have a lot of fun there. When she wakes up, she gets a little upset because it was just a dream.

She immediately realized that the book now is much bigger than she remembered. And she has... wings. She spread them out and flew to the window. Looking at it reflection, she was convinced that she really was a bird. At that moment, Elbert knocked on the door…

Elbert didn't notice her at first, but when he did…

I'm doomed!

Kate didn't share my pessimism and communicated with him with great enthusiasm. He noticed that she was surprisingly not afraid of him, a complete stranger.

On the way to Elbert's room, they meet Alfons, who seems to have just returned home. They talked for a while about Kate's absence, and suddenly Alfie noticed a bird…

I'm definitely doomed! He's going to kill me, he's definitely going to make a stuffed animal out of me!

Alfons thought the same as me, but no, Elbert explained that if something happened to this kid, Kate would probably be very upset, and he didn't want her to be upset... So he will take care of this bird while Kate is away.

So sarcastic! I love it!

They talked for a while about what Elbert needed to buy for the bird, and Alfons changed the subject once again.

Elbert said he didn't want to have breakfast without Kate. And Alfons reminded him that he now has a bird and…

Awwww, Alfons… I really love this man!

After that, Elbert asked Alfons to make breakfast for both of them. At first Alfons remarked that he was not his servant (Yeah… right…), but then he remembered Kate, who would definitely nagging him if he let Elbert starve to death, so he agreed. (Of course, this is the ONLY reason. And he wasn't worried about Elbert AT ALL)

They have breakfast together in Elbert's room. The same portions for the bird and the human. I seriously don't understand how he lasted so long…

They went shopping. But on the way, Elbert decided to go to a jewelry store. Elbert start to choose what would look good on Kate and what Kate would want… to no end.

Bird-Kate tried to stop him. When the "words" didn't work…

He remembered that their original goal was to buy her a cage, and stopped looking at the jewelry. But he still bought everything he chose. He even bought something for the bird.

So, they finally went to the store. Elbert, as usual, asked for the "most beautiful" cage in this case. And while he was distracted by choosing… Some black cat tried to catch the bird. What is Ellis' Kate doing here? So she was very scared and, obeying her instincts, just flew away.

She arrived at the Castle only in the evening, and Elbert was already there. She joyfully landed on him, desperately apologizing.

Rest in peace, the black cat. You chose the wrong bird to pick a fight!

And after what Elbert said, he bought a cage to protect her. This world is full of dangers for such a small bird…

Bitter ending

He chose a normal-sized cage with a beautiful decor. Bird-Kate felt very comfortable in there. Elbert kept wondering where Kate had gone… And the bird-Kate was trying to explain that this was her… but of course he didn't understand.

And they went to her room. Elbert pulled the bird out of the cage because Kate's room is safe. I wonder why it's not safe in his room? He thinks he'll never get tired of looking at her and what if he has both… Kate And The Bird… Yes, his greed has returned…

Kate thinks that if he doesn't find out that she's here, he'll look for her everywhere, and that will upset him… And she doesn't want that. So… She needed to tell him somehow…

I'm very surprised by the strength of this bird's legs… It just so happens that I know what it's like to type on a typewriter. I studied the blind typing method in a typing course. And you need very strong fingers to work on a mechanical typewriter. Maybe it was an electric typewriter, they softer… but it's still a pretty impressive achievement for a little bird.

Elbert wasn't really surprised...

And finally he said that this bird is "striped long-tailed moth". I checked on Google

Very… white... and pretty, like all birds…

He kissed her on the beak, and she became human again. And I really like that thought.

Premium ending

The cage he bought is... huge. It's so huge that it can fit several people. Kate is sitting in a cage and feels very uncomfortable. It's spacious for flights, but it seems that she's too far from Elbert. And she was worried that he had spent too much money on this cage...

Elbert notices that she doesn't look happy and... enters the cage himself.

Awwww… It's literally the same thing she thought of…

And again he said he wanted both Kate and the bird. She thinks that even though she looks different, he still really wants her. She kissed him and became human again. He's not surprised.

He demanded that she prove that she was real, and this led us to a very hot epilogue that takes place inside the cage. And this is the reason why I still cannot deside if I need this epilogue or not… Inside the cage, really? It's uncomfortable…

Why do I like this story better?..

First of all, Roger is not here, but Alfons is. No kidding, this is very important to me.

Secondly, I couldn't really show it, but… Ellis didn't communicate directly with the cat, she was just a pet for him. Elbert, on the other hand, talked to her all the time. Because… we found out it at the end of the event… he felt it was her. And I really love it. Yes, the reason he understands this is his curse, but the fact that he (not the smartest of the bunch) figured out is very impressive. And I like that he really understands her chirping, not literally, but emotionally… Is she happy or upset? This is interesting. Maybe this just habit of his to worrying about other people's emotions, but… I still think he really understands her. And it's pretty weird. Ellis is the one who is literally obsessed with Kate and tries to anticipate her every wish… but Elbert is the one who understands her better. Maybe it's just my impression.

And once again, I noticed that I like bitter endings much more. They're so cute… and full of love… And they show more emotional connection between the characters. It's a pity that we usually don't get anything for reading it.

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🔝 Start page 🔝

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[fortunekookie07]

X amount of time ago, I got my first request for a story. I am still over the moon about that. And being that Xavier's new memories just dropped, I chose him per requesters prompt.

Potatosugar this one is for you

Moment Forever Lost

Rafayel, just thinking or hearing his name sent butterflies coursing through your stomach. Your best friend, the person you felt closest to in the world. The one you wanted to spend the rest of your life with.

Rafayel, the one existence in this world you felt you could never reach. Not after she entered the picture. How many plans had been rearranged, canceled, or simply forgotten because for Rafayel, she always came first.

When Rafayel told you that she was the one who had rescued him as a kid, and then confided in you that I'm that moment he fell in love with her. Your heart shattered into a million pieces.

After all, how could you compete with that? She was a hero to Rafayel, and he was smitten. The first time you met her you wanted to abandon all hope. She was beautiful.

Perfect, straight, long dark brown hair. A small frame and delicate features. It was like fate had created a perfect girl and then sent her your way to destroy the future you'd wanted.

You had begun to war with yourself internally. Half of you instantly hated her for stealing your place. The spot next to Rafayel had belonged to you. You'd been the one friend who stuck by him since middle school. Rafayel's personality was a bit off putting to most people after all. Even she had found his manners a bit extreme.

The other half of you actually liked her. She was nice, friendly, and very likeable. Her smile alone put anyone at ease. Then there was her talents. As a Deepspace Hunter, her skills were unrivaled amongst her graduating class. She had been named the best and she'd gotten to join the Unicorns Team that took on the most dangerous missions. It was no wonder that Rafayel was smitten with her.

You constantly compared yourself to her. Frustration rising whenever you thought about the goal you once had. Your Evol had never really developed. Making the ground shake around you would not benefit you or your partner at all. Often times you couldn't even control it. Whenever your emotions got out of hand so would your Evol. It drove you crazy to see someone else living your dream.

You hated yourself for having such negative thoughts about someone so kind. She ha never once been cruel to you. Even if she constantly seemed to but in whenever you were spending time with Rafayel.

*******************************************************

Today was your birthday, twenty four years old now. The same age as Rafayel. By a few months, as he constantly reminded you. Proud of being the older, and therefore wiser one.

Rafayel had insisted on going out to celebrate. He'd wanted to take you to his favorite restraint. It was high class and typically only catered to famous individuals and top notch business men and women. It wasn't unusual to see this place booked out for some high tech companies meeting.

Rafayel had persuaded you to come here. He wanted to make you feel important. Not just to him, but for yourself. He wanted to make this a day to remember. He had reserved a table with a fantastic view of the city below and gotten you a beautiful dress to wear.

The color was a deep, dark blue. A sheer outer skirt of intricate lace. The lace went all over the dress and the sleeves. Fitting your figure perfectly. Complimenting all of your best features.

You arrive at the restaurant and walk to the maitre'D. "Reservation for two. Under Rafayel, has he arrived yet?" You ask with a smile. The man looked down at the tablet in front oh him, scanning the list of reservations for the night.

"I'm sorry miss, I don't have any reservations for Mr. Rafayel tonight". The man looked apologetic as he relayed the news. "Oh maybe he made the reservation under my name"? You say with a question and rattle off your own name. The man shakes his head again. "No miss, no reservations under you either". You felt your heart sunk as you stepped away from his podium.

You fish your phone out of the small hand bag you'd brought and immediately call Rafayel. It goes straight to voicemail so you leave a message. "Rafayel, I'm here at the restaurant but they don't have a reservation for us. I'll just wait for you. See you in a few". After hanging up you go to sit on the cushy bench just outside the entrance doors.

Five minutes goes by and you check your phone anxiously. Nothing, no calls or texts. You tuck your phone back into the bag. Couples drift by you once in a while. Some of them glance at you curiously as they walk inside.

Fifteen minutes go by and Rafayel has still not appeared. A sinking feeling in your stomach knots your insides up. This is not the first time you've been stood up, but like a puppy everytime he calls your name you go running back. A burn in the corners of your eyes start as you desperately try not to cry.

You pull your phone out again and call Rafayel once more. It still goes straight to voice mail. "Rafayel where are you? You are coming right? I'm still here waiting for you". Your voice cracks a bit at the end before you finally manage to stave off your tears.

Still wanting to belive that he would not ditch you on your birthday, you continue waiting. Perched on the seat, hoping, just praying, that Rafayel will suddenly appear. Hair disheveled from running and face apologetic, but it doesn't.

For forty-five minutes you sit on that bench and wait. When some of the people who'd gone in for dinner are now coming out you stand up, shame burning your face red. The looks on their faces clearly peg you as having had your date ditch you. You can't take being judged by people you don't even know and run off. The tears have broken free and are streaming down your face.

You don't know or care where you are going at the moment. Just away from there. You stop running after you stumble and realize you've made it to the edge of the downtown area. The restaurant is some thirty blocks behind you. Thankfully it isn't too late and this is a well traveled area. You're able to get a taxi.

Your phone rings as the taxi pulls up in front of your apartment. Rafayel's name and picture flashing on the screen. You send the call to voice mail and pay the driver.

As you're unlocking your door your phone starts ringing again. Rafayel's name and picture showing up once more. In anger you just turn your phone straight off and stuff it into the bottom of your bag. A voice speaks behind you.

"Wow, are you so against taking my call that your abusing your phone too"? That haughty tone can only belong to one person. Rafayel.

You turn and pin him with your angriest glare. "I don't even want to see you right now, much less hear your voice." You spit, hurling all the venom you can muster with your pain and humiliation.

He reaches out to take your hand and you're quick to slap it away. You hide the wince at the loud sound if the smack and the stinging on your palm. His arm is still held out towards you. The back of his hand red with the marks of your fingers.

Tears gather in the corners of your eyes again. "I get that I am not first in your life and that I never will be, but how could you stand me up on my birthday with plans that YOU made"? You ask not looking at him as your voice cracks. He moves in closer and forces you to look at him.

"You are important to me, you're my best friend. I am so sorry about tonight...". You cut him off placing your hand over his mouth before he can say her name. "I don't want to hear it Rafayel, don't say her name. Especially right now". You feel like your soul will shatter if he utters her name now.

He brushes your tears away one handed and you finally realize he's been holding his other arm behind his back. Before you can ask he's drawing his arm from behind his back and presents you with a bouquet. The fragrance hits you before your mind can register what you are seeing.

In his hands is a dozen of the largest white chrysanthemums you have ever seen. The bloom easily bigger than his hand. You didn't even know the flower could get this big. You close your eyes breathing in the scent of your favorite flower.

"I am sorry, this couldn't be avoided. It was an emergency. Let me make it up to you tomorrow. It's the first day of the lantern festival. Let me take you". You look at him in surprise. It was a well known fact that Rafayel hated crowds, for anything. It was one of the reasons why he so often skipped out on his painting exhibits. He didn't care for all the noise either. You'd never been able to get him to go to one before.

"R-really"?!? You ask hardly believing your ears as your heart soars. He nods before replying. "Really, let me take you". You hug him tightly in response. The ruined birthday all but forgotten now.

"I'll pick you up at 6:30 tomorrow". He says when you finally let go. "See you romorrow"! You tell him excitedly before going inside.

Once in the kitchen you search for your flower vases. Finding the perfect one that can hold such a large bouquet, you fill it with water and csrefully place them in it.

You take a deep whiff of the flowers before heading to your bedroom. As you get your pj's on you feel a sense of dread, like something bad is going to happen real soon. You squash it down and force yourself to sleep.

The following day can't pass fast enough. All day long you are distracted, even you co workers notice that you aren't getting much done. Seeing as you are usually zipping through your work it isn't hard to notice.

Finally the end of the work day has come. You excitedly clean up your desk and shut your computer down. Being an office consultant had its drawbacks but the job was easy and the pay was good. Even if it was boring sometimes. It was the safe and stable direction your parents had encouraged you to take after failing to qualify for the Hunter's Association.

After you got home you were quick to jump in the shower and freshen up. You only had an hour before Rafayel would be knocking at the door.

You decide to wear easy to move in clothes. A white dress and sandals with no heel. The dress is simple and cute. Having a halter style top and a point cut skirt that swishes while you walk.

Just as you finish tying your hair into place the doorbell rings. You grab your phone, keys, and wallet then slip them into your small off white knit bag and run towards the door.

Rafayel smiles in the other side and draws you into a hug. "You're right on time"! You say brightly closing thr door behind you after locking it. Rafayel casually takes your hand as he's done many times before and you start walking.

He asks you what you want to do first when the first lights appear just ahead of you. "Let's walk around the stalls and play some games"! You say just as a familiar figure comes into view. Your blood freezes as you recognize her.

You turn and look sharply at Rafayel and stop short. He tries to mask his expression and you can stop the look of betrayal on your face. You jerk your hand out of his. "Did you invite her to come with us"?!? You ask your eyes darting back and forth across his face searching for a denial.

She quickly interjects. "Rafayel didn't invite me. He told me he was going and I decided to come too. I didn't know I was interrupting a date". She says holding her hands up to calm you down. Her face is genuinely sorry and guilt is written all over her face.

"If it makes you feel better I'm meeting up with someone too. I though we could walk around as a threesome. But we can make that pairs. He's my partner from work. His name is Xavier, he's a good guy. Easy to get along with. You might like him". She says with a bashful smile.

Oh, OH there's that look on her face. You recognize it as you'd worn that same expression whenever you thought about Rafayel before. You glance at the man in question. His face is tight and there is a forced smile on his lips.

"There he is now! Xavier"! She calls waving wildly to someone coming up behind you. Turning you see a tall man with ash blond hair and a pair of the deepest blue eyes you've ever seen. "This is Rafayel and his friend". She introduces the two of you to him. He nods and looks you over before nodding with a small smile. "I'm Xavier, nice to met you". He says going to stand beside her.

This man radiates calmness but you can feel a dangerous aura lurking beneath that. As well as a fierce protectiveness for the small woman beside him. She grabs your hand and tugs you into the bustling crowd ahead. "Come on, or were going to miss all the fun"! Her excitement is contagious and your earlier anger had completely disappeared.

It seemed for once that Rafayel had not interjected her into your plans. That happiness was short lived when you noticed he kept paying attention to Xavier and suggesting that he play this and that game with her. Alot of the time she agreed, sometimes she would decline and play with Xavier. Most of the time she would play twice with both of them.

You were beginning to feel like a third wheel and regretting ever having come to this festival. Rafayel was hardly doing any of the activities with you and it stung sharply. Wasn't this supposed to be his apology for ditching you on your birthday?

Finally you could stand it no more and you stopped walking. The only one to notice was Xavier he looked back at you and asked "Are you ok"? You shook your head. "I'm not feeling well, I'm going home". You turned and walked straight back the way you'd come. Ignoring the protests from everyone coming this way and them telling you, you were going the wrong way.

It seemed like it took forever but finally you made it back to the entrance of the festival and you sat down. The tears came again. You just couldn't understand how and why you were so ignored by Rafayel. Your jealousy burned as every scene played back in your head. Rafayel had only played a few games with you and every time had been when she hadn't wanted dtonolaybwith him first. It had only been then, once she'd rejected that he would ask you like a second choice.

Once again you found yourself completely distraught for the second time, for the same man in only two days.

You walked home alone. Mood completely sour and expression dark. Fishing your keys out as you stood in front of your door you noticed your phone. Unlocking it you were unsurprised to find that there were no messages. Either Rafayel hadn't noticed you were gone yet, or he just didn't care. You shut it off and opened the door. Silence greeted you, just as it always did.

"I'm tired of being alone". You say out loud to no one. "I don't want to be in love with someone who doesn't even see me anymore". You cry sinking to the floor and sobbing again. You don't know how long you sit with your back to the front door crying. Your thoughts are jarred when the doorbell rings. You say nothing and listen. The bell goes off again two and then three more times.

Rafayel's soft voice comes from the other side. "Why did you leave without saying anything to me? Why didn't you tell me you were feeling sick in the first place. I was worried". He says and the concern in his tone irritates you. You stand up and yank the door open.

"Were you actually worried? How long did it even take you to notice I was gone??? Did you even look for me? Why did you ignore me almost the entire time I was there? Am I just a doormat to you? Am I supposed to act grateful any time you decide to toss me even a SECOND of your precious time"? You hurl all your pent up frustrations at him as more tears slip down your face.

Rafayel frowns and you can see him getting angry but you cut him off. "I'm tired Rafayel, I'm not a puppy that will keep running back to you every time you call my name. I will not be grateful just because you remember that I exist. I can't do this anymore. Loving you hurts to much and I just can't take it. It's killing me inside". You try to wipe your tears away.

"I never asked you to love me. I told you she was important to me a long time ago. It was your stupid choice to fall in love with me knowing all that". He spots back at you angry now. Not since your days in middle school when you first met has Rafayel spoken to you this way.

"You think she'll come to love you back?!? Open your eyes and look you stupid ass! She's in love with someone else too! She won't choose you"! You slam the door in his face before he can respond and run to your room and throw yourself into your bed. You sob yourself to sleep and wish that you had never met Rafayel. He's finally driven you into that dark place you'd tried so hard to avoid.

In the days that pass you feel numb to the world. Two weeks have gone by and not a single message or call from him. Not that you were expecting any or wanted any. The last message was from him and one of the silly stickers he liked to use.

If your heart wasn't broken and you weren't trying to recover from the severe emotional beating you'd taken, you might care that your phone was so silent for the first time that you could remember.

Several times you'd opened your contacts and went to trash all his messages and then block and delete his number all together. You just couldn't bring yourself to do it yet. Maybe in a few more days. You kept telling yourself that over and over again. You were caught in this vicious cycle. Wanting to move on and finally free yourself from him altogether and being unable to do just that.

You had adjusted to your life without Rafayel in it. A few times you'd seen his writing a message bubble pop up in your conversations but he never sent anything. You still didn't care.

Two months had gone by and nothing. Once Thomas had reached out to you asking why you hadn't been to the gallery recently but you didn't answer that message either. Under different circumstances you might have felt guilty leaving him on read.

After work that day you decided to change your pace for the first time in weeks. You went to the coffee shop you used to frequent. The Cafe style had always been cute to you and the chairs were so comfortable. Just as you put your hand on the door you noticed a familiar figure in your favorite chair.

Rafayel was slouched in the chair, completely unlike him. His wavy purple hair was messy and ot looked like he was neglecting his sleep. Badly at that, if the dark circles under his eyes were anything to go by. His head was perched on his hand and he was tapping the arm of the chair.

As if sensing your gaze he looked up. His eyes went wide and he immediately stood up and took a step in your direction. You let go of the door handle and stepped back blending into the people walking as you hurriedly left. The moment your eyes met you felt a twinge in your heart. You weren't ready to see him again.

The next day at work your mood was positively black, as if a heavy thunderstorm was hanging over your head. Everyone steered clear of you. Only coming to speak to you when absolutely necessary.

The day passed by slowly and you paid little attention to anything around you. By the time you noticed that it was quiet everyone had already gone home. You packed your things up slowly and were getting ready to leave when the hairs on the back of your neck stood on end. There was a strange energy in the room and your senses screamed danger at you.

Just then a strange screech echoed in the room and something hit you out of nowhere. You flew up into the air and across the room just as alarm bells went off in the building. Metaflux! Your alarmed brain screamed at you through the pain as you were crumpled on the floor where you'd fallen. A Wanderer was inside the room with you and you had no way to defend yourself.

Sheer panic overtook you ss you lifted your head and looked behind you at the horrible monster bearing down at you. That was when the tremors started and you screamed as it's blade bore down on you.

Just as it was about to strike you a gunshot rang out. The monster was knocked sideways and it's blade swung off course. Cutting the desk in two, instead of you. The creature screeched as a flaming dagger sunk into its arm. Rafayel had showed you his Evol many times before. You knew that dagger even at a glance.

The screen around you changed suddenly and then you weren't in your office building. "Protofield"! A female voice called out. Finally you could see Rafayel and her. He called your name and tried to come to you but was held back by the group of Wanderers.

"Just stay put we'll rescue you"! She called tone serious. You couldn't exactly move. Pain and fear had you rooted to the ground. You'd read about protofields before but lacking the skills, you'd never been in one.

Gunshots, screeches, grunts, and communication between the pair sounded all around as they fought the Wanderers off. Just as quickly as it had appeared the protofield vanished. The last Wanderer seeming to have been destroyed.

The two made their way over to you, picking across the damaged desks and scattered paper. Rafayel knelt next to you. Assessing your injuries as she made a call on her watch. Relaying the situation back to the Association as well as medical support.

You hadn't realized it yet, but your breaths were coming in short gasps and you were starting to feel dizzy.

That was when the floor started shaking again. This time the tremors were violent. Rafayel glanced around as he stood up trying to hold his footing. "Earthquake"? He asked glancing at he watch. She shook her head as Rafayel looked around some more.

Only you realized where the tremors were coming from. You'd never told Rafayel you had any Evol at all. He'd believed you when you said you were born without one and had never developed one after the Wanderers first appeared.

The shaking got worse and cracks appeared in the windows as it seemed like the whole building was moving. "Danger"! You managed to gasp out feeling like your energy was being sucked out of your body. You lay on the ground feeling dizzy and nauseous. The windows busted out, sending glass straight to the ground ten floors below.

Rafayel took as step towards you just as a violent shudder went through the building and the floor gave way beneath you. Then you were falling. You tried to scream as you fell. Above you Rafayel was falling too. Seeming to have jumped through the hole after you. Groaning metal and breaking glass was all that you could hear before you blacked out and then silence. Nothing but silence.

*******************************************************

Three months later

Rafayel sat at your bedside. He was usually here at this time of day. It was part of his routine now. He'd gotten used to the beeps of the machines in your hospital room. He'd thought back again and again. The Dr's had determined the earthquake like tremors had come from you. When you had panicked your body's natural instinct to protect itself forced your Evol out of control.

The result had collapsed the building you'd worked in. Thankfully everyone else had gone home for the day. His injuries were nothing compared to yours. Bumps, scrapes, and bruises. He hadn't even needed to be checked into the hospital.

You on the other hand, the list was long and scary. Broken ribs, a punctured lung, skull fractures, a dislocated arm, broken leg, the list went on. He had tried not to read all of it.

The Dr's had treated all your physical injuries and you'd had to under go three different surgeries. The skull fractures had caused the most concern for them. A concussion was the least of your problems.

Right now you were comatose. Your body had shut down all necessary functions to try and repair the damage. The extent of damage to your head had been undetermined as long as you remained asleep.

Rafayel looked at you again, glad most of the bandages were gone now. Beeing wrapped in gauze nearly from head to toe was hard to look at. He took your hand again, careful not to disturb the IV.

"Hurry and wake up, I'll even let you yell at me. I don't mind anymore. You can be mad all you want. Just don't sleep anymore. Please". His voice was a weak whisper as he rubbed his thumb on the back of your hand.

For the first time your hand twitched in his and he looked up sharply at your face. He called your name and the heart monitor picked up your increased hear rate immediately.

He waited anxiously with baited breath and then after what seemed like hours your eyes fluttered open. He leaned over and pressed the call button on your bed after informing the nurse you were awake he turned his attention back to you.

"I'm sorry for everything that happened. You were right. I acted like a jerk, and I didn't treat you very well. I knew for a while that my feelings wouldn't be returned. It's not like she didn't tell me about Xavier before. I just didn't want to listen. If you'll just forgive me, I don't need anything else. " Rafayel said in a rush. Spewing everything out that had crossed his mind in the last three months.

Confusion had knit your brows together. You were looking at him with an odd expression. The door opened as the Dr came in just as you started speaking in a raspy voice. Your words had his heart sinking to the floor.

"Who are you?"

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Uwahhhhhh I just realized how long this was editing and proofreading 😵‍💫😵‍💫

I really do torture myself, but then again, short stories aren't very common for me. Oh, well.

I do hope you liked this one. It's a no happy end one. Unless you want to pick it up from my ending and make it happy.

[justficsiguess]

I guess I'm just gonna post all of my daydream scenarios lol. Another batfam one!

tw: feelings of inadequacy, memory loss

So. You wake up, no idea where you are or what's going on. No memories of who you are or your life before this.

The people who call themselves your family try everything to get you to remember, show you around the mansion where you apparently live, showing you different trophies that are everywhere in your (admittedly, very beautiful) room, explaining to you how and when you won them, pointing at pictures hoping you'll remember where they were taken... But, nothing.

They even tell you about the vigilante stuff! They try throwing stuff at you and seeing if your reflexes still work subconsciously (you get hit in the face with a lot of pillows, Damian has to be stopped from throwing knives multiple times). Don't you remember when you solved the Riddlers puzzles with Batman? When you and Nightwing took down Poison Ivy? ...Nothing sounds familiar? You lost your memories after being hit by a weird ray gun from a new villain, they haven't been able to figure out exactly how it works yet...

When none of that works they try stuff that they think might upset you, but it's the only thing left. How you lost your family before being taken in by Bruce and joining your new family, becoming a vigilante to stop other kids from losing their parents in the same way as you. Unsurprisingly, that doesn't ring any bells whatsoever. They show you pictures of your old family, and... you think you remember them? But not dead, not gone, you get flashes of going grocery shopping with them, looking older than they were when they died, apparently? How can that be...? After that, most of your memories return pretty quickly. You don't belong here.

You all figure out together that apparently you didn't just lose your memory, you switched places with the version of you that actually belongs to this universe! It's nice knowing what happened and that they might be able to figure out a way to switch back with their version of you, to get you home, but it also hurts.

Looking more closely at the other-you's life, it's pretty close to everything you've ever dreamed of... Having hobbies you've always wanted to have but never had the time and/or money for (they can play so many instruments, they dance, etc), a close friend group, maybe even a relationship, even their room is decorated exactly how you'd decorate it if you had the space and money! And all of their achievements... Graduated top of the class, got a scholarship to college, trophies for all sorts of sports. Basically everything you could think of, they excelled in.

You start sleeping in one of the guestrooms.

It's awkward, answering the other-you's family's questions about your life. What are your hobbies? Oh, um, nothing much, mostly I just go to work I guess... What's your job? Do you like it? Uhm, well, it's nothing important or groundbreaking or anything, but I guess there's worse ones! I mean, especially considering that I dropped out of university... Ok, well, what about your friends? Family? Friends? Um, I mean I get along with some of my coworkers, but I wouldn't really call them friends... And my family is just a normal family, I guess?

Needless to say, they want their helpful, smart, wonderful family member back. And you get it, they don't know you, you're a stranger to them! But, after they're able to contact the other-you (unable to bring them back yet, but their memories came back as well and they started working on something similar to the Batfam, which makes it so they can at least talk to each other for now), you find out that they're doing better in your life than you ever did. They got a better job or re-enrolled in university, show way more motivation and discipline than you ever did for anything in your life... The worst part is, they couldn't tell your parents that they're not you, they'd never believe them! So your parents are of the opinion that the mysterious accident is the best thing that ever happened to you! Sure, it was rough at first, but look at you now! Finally making something out of yourself, they couldn't be prouder!

So you're just stuck knowing that both families prefer the other-you, the better-you, smart-you, vigilante-you... Sure, maybe your parents would want you back if they knew it wasn't actually you who was achieving all of these things, but still, now you know they really were disappointed in you, that you weren't living up to their expectations...

[The other-you is having a rough time as well, though. Imagine suddenly remembering that the people you've been living with after your accident/memory-loss are dead where you're from, and you can't even tell them that! You missed them so much, but it's been so long they're strangers to you now... You try to get your mind off of it, work hard, etc, but everyone acts like that's so unlike you and doesn't seem like something you would have done before? You don't know them, they don't know you, you missed them so much, you'll have to lose them all over again. The other version of you seems mad at you for changing your life even though you think it's better now than what they had before.]

[itonashi]

i love your lilbro!nagi fics sm!!♡ and the nagi's older sis!reader having a enemies to lovers with itoshi sae would be just🤗🤭😋😙😚☺️☺️ it makes me twirl my hair and giggle like a highschool girl in love so🤐🤐🤐🤐 maybe a small fic, if it is not a bother? have good day feel free to ignore xx

YOU'RE THE WORST.

pairing: itoshi sae x fem!reader

warning: manga spoilers, cussing, reader is nagi's older sister ( i love you guys for doing these hehe ), reader is also a pro athlete. timeline where the blue lock project already ended (multiple timeline also), 3 years older than sae. mentioned other chars. english is not my first language...

note: idk what the hell is this plot. idk much about sports (im srs, im not a sport person. i throw balls that didn't even reach the person im targeting) i love sae he's sec fave to me (chigiri is on top), i personally don't see nagi having a relationship with someone. i liked the idea of him having a siblings and you guys really loved my older sister nagi reader 🤭 (i like it too). happy 200 followers!!!

your first meet with itoshi sae was when he went to picked a striker for the u-20 vs blue lock match. you were one of the people that helped with the blue lock project, despite your precious little brother being there. you didn't revealed to your brother that you were one of the people. you were always behind the scenes. what you meant is, you were one of the people for the wild card. itoshi sae locked eyes with you for a moment but the male completely ignored your existence.

you were a bit offended but that's that, too think he would choose that shidou guy. literally what's in that goddamn mind of that midfielder. "[name], i never expected for your brother to developed quickly." you glanced at anri, crossing your arms. "looks like he found his dream." with a gentle smile, you looked at the screen that displayed your brother.

something that i could never had. a dream.

on the day of the match, you didn't even tried to hide your identity. despite being a famous athlete with many rewards received. oh, what a luck — you coincidentally met itoshi sae while on the way to the blue lock locker's room. "we have met before, right?" monotone voice. he had always have that type of voice. to think he still remembered you from that time when you two were still a child. it was only one time though, when you guys met as kids.

"yeah."

"nii-chan, the ice cream im looking for isn't here..."

"are you looking for this?" child you met itoshi sae and his younger brother at a convenience store. the teal eyes of the younger brother looked at you and the ice cream back to back, feeling awkward by it, you just gave the ice cream to the younger brother. you saw how his eyes lit up and for some reason it warmth your heart seeing the younger boy happy — maybe because it reminded you of your own little brother...

"you should thank her, rin."

"it's okay. i don't mind."

"thank you, nee-chan!"

ah. how cute. you definitely won't forget these two siblings that you coincidentally met. one had a clean hairstyle while the other have a messy and horrible hairstyles (you know who you are). what an interesting pair. you waved to them goodbye and after that you never met them again.

"i never thought you will remembered me after all these years."

"i was just guessing."

bullshit

"if you'll excuse me, i have somewhere to go.."

sae suddenly tug on the sleeve of your blouse and he looked at you with an unreadable expression. "you're coming to watch for who?" why is he asking you this? it's not like you guys were close or anything. tbh, ppl who tug or touch you and not to mention if they're a stranger, you will definitely get annoyed by them. "i came for blue lock... itoshi." he let go off your sleeve after he hears the irritated voice you have even though you were smiling. itoshi sae weren't really stupid in this kinds of stuff.

you waved him goodbye just like last time...

seeing your precious little brother you rush up to him and hug him. nagi wasn't expecting a hug to come so basically the two of you fell, with nagi being the pillow. "ouch." nagi groaned, the blue lock players didn't expect someone to come (other than anri and ego) and suddenly hugged nagi. wait a minute.

the person who just hugged nagi seishiro seems familiar...

"isn't that [stage name]? the famous female badminton player." hiori spoke up among them.

wait what.

a shocked gasps could be heard around the room, some are uninterested and some are flabbergasted how nagi could know someone so famous. reo watched the scene and didn't expected this either, he also didn't know that you would come to the match since he didn't even contact you (nagi also didn't).

the female was patting nagi's head also! some were jealous of nagi because a famous and a beautiful woman is doing that to him. just what are their relationship?

"sei, do your best on the match, okay? nee-san will be watching you."

WHAT. [stage name] is nagi's older sister. jaw dropped, mouth open.

"bye bye!"

just as you got out of the room, everyone looked at nagi. nagi being nagi, he made a confused face with his signature :x face. reo took the honor of explaining that, yes; indeed you were nagi's sibling. the fact that you having a siblings wasn't mentioned at all on the internet and suddenly you were revealed as nagi's older sister to them was shocking enough. no one knew of this information, i mean even your name isn't your real name.

in another country...

the blue lock project ended, you have nothing to do with it now. your little brother become a pro soccer player and the fact of you being his older sister went viral on every platform — 'the number one female badminton player in the world is nagi seishiro's older sister!? how long have she kept this from us?" you scrolled the comments on twitter about the post and had a laugh with it since some of the replies were just ridiculous.

'holy shit what... my bae [stage name] have a little brother?!? how could i have not known this.'

'is this a family full off prodigy? they should show us their parents too!' that's probably never gonna happen, you thought.

'ZOO WEE MAMA, BOTH OF THEM ARE FABULOUS JUST LIKE THE ITOSHI BROTHERS!!!' oh? interesting. being compared to those two brothers.

'[stage name] future's partner are gonna be so lucky...' your future partner, you don't think that you could find one tbh. maybe if you quit being this exhausting pro athlete, you would find one.

ding!

who?

huh.

itoshi sae?

ah, no.

it's an interview request and the other people that you would work with is itoshi sae...

you immediately accepted it, the reason for it was simple. you were bored and maybe having itoshi sae, the man who is very rude to interviewer and working with him on this interview might be interesting. you just wanted to find some fun in your life.

everything was ready for the interview, your clothes, makeup, mic on and everything. they said that you and itoshi sae will be answering questions with a lie detector on. it was a good idea. you want to see the face on itoshi sae change, even in the slightest, you would be happy with it. you greeted the staff with a smile while itoshi sae is beside you being quiet.

"let's get this over with." sae murmured with a slight annoyance voice. averting your gave from him, you look at the set-up for the interview. a seat across from each other with a table in the middle — on the table, there's the device called the lie detector (made from the mikage corporation, this is the real deal). you two sat across from each other with hands already set in the lie detector.

"ready? action!"

let's just escape the greetings and move to the questions...

"itoshi sae, what's your first impression of [stage name]. you two may have met, right? on the u-20 japan soccer team vs blue lock!"

"i didn't really talk to her but one thing about her is fake smile."

"why is that?"

"just a feeling."

this guy... is really only good at soccer. he really can't make something up, huh? was my smile really fake that time? blunt much. i can't show my annoyance to it, i just have to act like i always do.

the lie detector make a sound of approvement — indicating he was telling the truth. you just hoped that after this interview it wouldn't go wrong on the internet. you hated how he knows that you're faking it, you have always been good at lying, everything. without the presence of your parents, you became independent on you own and the aunties around your neighborhood always have something to say about your parents or your little brother. you hated it. you hated how they gave backhanded compliments to you — saying that you are a good girl and maybe you should become their daughters instead of your parent.

"[name], you should stop trying too hard. get some rest."

"will they come?"

"[name]..."

i just wanted my parent attention, that's all. i mean, i have been dedicating my life on nagi. i just want some attention — i don't want attention from my friends but my parent. that's all i ask for, maybe if they did give me attention one day. maybe i can quit being the 'prodigy'. im tired, i don't find anything fun anymore. i have lost that feeling ever since i started doing sports.

"[stage name], what about you? what's your first impression of itoshi sae."

"he's really blunt, straightforward, very serious. personality like him would never find a girlfriend."

"what."

itoshi sae finally talked to you. you could definitely feel the annoyance radiating off him after you said that. the staff sweats at the both of you and yet you still kept a smile on even after saying that. you could go cancelled for this or be praised — it looks like the lie detector didn't sense a lie from you and make a ding sound. he frowned at you and you averted your eyes from him, looking around the room.

"this is a question for you both. if you were to live in a fantasy world with monsters. will you guys worked with eachother."

"no."

the fact that the both of you replied at the same time. twitter gonna have so much fun with this interview when it comes out... and luckily the two of you didn't get that electric shock. you sigh at the awkward silence after that and wished this interview will end.

"do you like soccer, [stage name]? considering your little brother is also a soccer player like itoshi sae."

"just to not get shock by the lie detector... i don't really liked soccer. i don't mind it but i probably have some memories with it that i don't want to remembered."

ding!

'no shock...' sae thought, he was actually glad that you didn't say anything bad about soccer. you and him already have a problem with each other tho.

time flies fast and finally the interview ended. you stretched your arms as it were a little sore. you prepared yourself to leave the building but you wanted to do one last thing before you go. "itoshi, it was nice working with you." sae felt like that was backhanded. your voice didn't sound convincing enough that he was a pleasant to work with at all. it was sarcastic even.

"i don't want to work with you again."

"you'll be seeing me a lot more."

why are you ain't even bothered with sae. even when he said that. "btw, you should probably reconcile with your brother. it won't do you any good." you added before leaving him alone. reconcile with rin? how is sae gonna do that, if he doesn't even have any communication skills (the two brothers suck at socializing but sae is still better at that). anything that comes out of your mouth is just nonsense (in denial).

what the hell.

how did sae meet you again, at his practice too? you waved at him when you two locked eyes and he glared at you for your friendliness towards him. he was too focused on his thoughts that he didn't even noticed you are already beside him. sae's leg was stepping on the soccer ball, you looked at it and stole it from him (using your legs ofc). sae was startled from the sudden feeling of the ball's absence and he saw you running away with the ball.

sae wanted to open his mouth and said something but went against it. he chased after you to get the ball back from you. luckily, there was no one there to witness the two of you — it will become an embarrassing moments for you and him. "you probably have only played soccer once?" sae did managed to catch up with you and you stuck out your tongue at him — you dribbled past him. "you're going easy on me, right? well, don't do it. go all out."

that definitely lit a spark inside sae. you? a badminton player challenging him? he maybe is underestimating you, but that didn't mattered at this point. he will show you, how good he is. while you were basically fighting for the ball, you two were exchanging remarks and sae was glad you could handle his cruel remarks.

it felt like rivalry at this point. you two weren't even in the same sports...

"stop disappointing me, itoshi."

"shut your damn mouth."

"my parents will cry if they heard that from you."

you were definitely a genius — he won't denied it anymore, you managed to score two goals against him. you said that you only watched clips. "yk itoshi, maybe if we're friends.. i will tell you my secrets." it felt like you were mocking him. it felt like the time he was in spain, the feeling when he was..

'he's not saying anything.' you looked at him and stopped your movements. he also stopped — he is definitely giving you a death stare now. is he gonna devour you? probably not.

"we should stop."

"no."

sae is definitely closer to you now — despite having a tall figure for a woman, sae was still taller than you and he was practically kinda trying to assert dominance (in your perspective). this is his weakness, and you found it.

"atleast, i don't sleep 5 hours a day."

ah, he was only going to say that.

"are you stalking me? i didn't know the itoshi sae is a stalker!"

"im not."

in the end, he's still not good enough. he knew he lose to you and you were still smiling like a crazy person to him. he feels a nudged and saw a water bottle up his face, you gave it to him. you didn't say anything to him and just quietly sipped your water bottle without even looking at him. sae was a different story, he keep on side glances to his side — which is you. you had an unreadable expression, your eyes weren't shining, it never was, even when you were playing soccer with him minutes ago. you were smiling but your eyes isn't.

is he the first one to noticed this side of you?

things happened between you two. some people thought you were rival. some people shipped you two, which is funny. some people just found you two as a funny duo. the social medias actually went crazy when the interview video came out. not expecting a duo like you two to came up. they also thought that itoshi sae would actually rejected the offer since you know...

they had a blast with it.

'LMAOOOO, [stage name] IS SO BRAVE FOR SAYING THAT SAE IS RUDE.'

'sae was side eyeing [stage name], fr.'

'me personally wouldn't let that slide if someone said that im faking a smile.'

'say thank you to this show for letting us see this unexpected duo!!'

'PLSPLSPLS I WANT TO SEE THE NAGI'S SIBLINGS NEXT ON THIS SHOW. IT WOULD BE SO FUN!'

'have you guys ever thought what's [stage name] real name is? i mean we know that her surname is nagi, then what's her first name?'

replies:

'if she doesn't want to reveal it, it's her choice.'

'who cares.'

'lmao, she already stated that her name is a secret she doesn't want to reveal.'

your relationship with sae developed more over the years. you could probably see some edits of them at tik tok from time to time as a duo they said. his cold remarks make you wanna slap him but you would get cancel for that. you had some photoshoot with him. surprisingly he was ACTUALLY a pleasant to work with. you pity the interviewer who had to face his cold behavior in the past — but you still slightly dislike itoshi sae.

eating a pavlova at a cute cafe that you find aesthetically pleasing to the eyes while you were taking a walk. you were just scrolling on your phone, texting your little brother if he's doing good there. tbh, you missed taking care of nagi. even if your childhood was basically forced to be taken away from you the moment nagi was born. itoshi sae and his brother had a strained relationship based on your observations, you wouldn't know much about it since both of them are private of their life and doesn't revealed it to the public (just the same as you). you could see it that sae still cared for his brother since rin would do anything to avoid him but sae is making a slight effort at talking to him.

they would never reconcile at this point. it's pointless if they're sitting around without taking action — but fortunately you're not one to get involved into family matters.

oh how lucky it is that this party is called the 'blue lock reunion' — is your secret of being involved with the blue lock project gonna be revealed? only one good thing is that you get to see your brother. "you actually did come, [stage name]." anri was the first one to greet you and you greeted back to her. she said that ego is also in the party well technically she forced him too. you had some things to catch up with her and soon enough you leave the conversation and just basically roam around the party. you looked at your surroundings on how the former blue lock players were so happy. they admitted that they actually missed ego and anri. "nee-san? what are you doing here." i guess it's time for you to come clean...

"ahaha... i was one of the staff.."

"what."

"yeah."

"you were in japan all along when i was in blue lock?"

you hummed and didn't say anything yet until you were pulled into a hug by you own brother. you felt like crying because this is the first time nagi actually hugged you since it was always you giving the affection. maybe, nagi was homesick... you patted his back and laugh it off. why is your little brother taller than you so much?

"thank you, nee-san. for taking care of me all these years."

why is he thanking you? it was your responsibility to take care of him — but, it's nice to see nagi matured now.

"sei, you've matured."

this was such a scene to cry on for nagi's friend. the hug only lasted for 5 minutes (nagi wanted more minutes but you said you were tired of tip toeing to him). the fact that nagi was talking alot, only to you tho. like he was basically telling you everything that happened to catch up with you. in a corner, there was basically someone who was staring at you two, probably thinking if that could be him and his brother one day. like the old days. basically you were looking at nagi in a loving manner, like a mother does.

at this point, your social battery went out. you feel like the party has gone for too long. it was exhausting you. a matter of fact, you just wanna lay in bed right now but that didn't work as there was a familiar face walking towards you. you guess it, it's itoshi rin. the younger brother of itoshi sae. if you mentioned sae right now, rin might just turned away from you or looked at you with disgust because you said that man's name.

"[stage name], are you dating him?"

"eh?"

you felt like your soul was coming out of body. visibly shocked that rin would ask you that. you thought he was just gonna say something and immediately left after that. is he thinking that his brother is dating you?

"im not dating anyone though..." you stated and rin looked at you suspiciously.

"good."

basically that was the first interaction you had with itoshi rin. both of them are really similar in personalities. itoshi sae would kill you if he heard that. you decided that you are gonna leave the party so you searched for anri to informed her, you were going to left but she was nowhere to be found so you only told your brother and left. you wanted to have some time alone. you rode your motorcycle in the middle of the night like you used to do when you were in highschool. your usual stop is a beach and god decided to give you a surprise.

itoshi sae was at the beach gazing at the sea. you doubt that he didn't heard the motorcycle sounds, he's probably here for the same reason as you. the light from the moon shone against the sea wave creating a beautiful scenery for you and him. he didn't looked back to see the person who decided to disturb his peace at the beach.

"didn't know you could ride a motorcycle, [stage name]." ah, he knew it was you and yet he still didn't bothered to look at you. his voice was slightly off from the tone of voice you used to hear from him.

"everyone have their own melancholy time. right, itoshi?"

you always came here to gathered your thoughts when you were in highschool.

"you're the worst for not giving me an alone time."

"don't be like that, itoshi. i have always come to this place when i was a teenager."

"then share this place with me. bring me with you whenever you want to go to this place."

"is this your way of saying 'i love you' to me?"

"hmph."

he's not denying it. is he being serious? this is the first time someone confesses to you like this. it was always with the straightforward i like you and those typical cheesy lines that you could see in a romance drama. for the first time, sae turned his back from you.

"you're not smiling."

"do you want me to smile all the time?"

"i don't care if you're not smiling but... i want you to smile with your eyes once."

you slightly widen your eyes at what sae said. did he saw your expression just now? what's with this guy always understanding you. he reminds you of someone, someone you left long ago. your lips turned into a thin line before you spoke again.

"sure, i will bring you to this place whenever i want too."

the winds from the beach make your silky hair to be swayed from it. you looked beautiful to him. is this the end of your rivalry with him? yup, definitely. the start of a new relationship with you. maybe you will smile with your eyes for him now.

"itoshi, have you played with the water here?"

"sae."

"you want me to call you that?"

"yeah."

"didn't know you like older woman."

"and i didn't know you like a younger man from you."

"pfft."

a few weeks after you guys became lover, you guys relationship was publicly announced by an acc that keep track of what's happening in the soccer community. some people did believed it untill the two of you released a statement. you two qrt the post.

'yes, i am dating the world famous badminton female player. stop saying it's fake news under the post.'

'yeah, i am dating the itoshi sae. lol.'

the relationship between you two shocked the world and especially the former blue lock players. your brother cannot believe it but he also release a tweet. the fans thought that this was a funny moments now they are only waiting for the other itoshi to release a tweet too to captured this moment.

'lmao, i also didn't know my sister was dating someone.'

replies:

'WHAT THE HELL.. EVEN NAGI DIDN'T KNOW HAHAHHAHA.'

'now i wanna know what does the other one thinks.'

'that's crazy bro...'

'we need update about their relationship and how it happened.'

"meow."

your pet cat was purring at your lap. the cat already ate, and it was probably feeling playful. your cat was a british shorthair breed. what's the cat name? lokhi. loki but with a h. you just wanted the cat to fit choki, you brother's cactus. it you who gifted it to him. you found it funny how now you're dating itoshi sae. you've never dated anyone in your life neither have you liked someone too. do you love sae? yes. he was one of the people that understand you and you have no doubt that sae haven't dated someone either. so you two basically were a rookie at dating but things worked out!

you two have a tight schedule and fortunately after the big revealed you two are dating, alot of shows are begging for you two to come to do the interview but you didn't wanted that. you only took the photoshoot offer with sae. you especially liked the time when you two photoshoot for dior. it was the little moments that you loved.

intentionally brushing your hands at sae's hand and he looked at you, confused — you're just making an innocent face at him. it's funny really how you two are still trending on twitter. people are still freaking out by this and you kinda felt bad for rin when the day you got together with sae was the day rin asked is the two of you dating. you just hoped that whenever sae get back to japan to visit his parent, rin wouldn't say anything.

two years in the relationship and you smiled with your eyes for the first time on the 1st anniversary. you were happy that sae stayed with you, giving you the attention. the unconditional love you never had from your parents. he knew you loved cinnamoroll, so he gave you a bouquet of it. your parents knew of you two relationship. sae's parent response was positive but for your parent... i mean they were traveling around the world, who cares about their opinion.

you never thought that he would be your first love and lover. you hope that he was the groom to your bride. oh, not to mentioned you met his parent formally and his brother too.. ofc. you managed to make rin like you and reconcile their strained relationship and yet you still see them not talking to each other from time to time. you doted on rin because it feels like you were taking care of nagi. sae didn't said anything about doting on his little brother, he appreciates it since it feels like the first time the brothers met you.

you liked ice cream. they do too.

sae become more affectionate with you now since it was always you gotta peck him on the lips. you definitely want to marry this guy and he want to marry you too.

note: done. this thing is more than 1k, im sure of it. WAJJH IM FINALLY FREEEE.. i don't really think this is enemy to lover so I'm really sorry for this like umm weird shit idk lah... have fun.

[worldserasingandcreatinginmymind]

Bloody Beetle | Part Nine

Summary: the afterlife is quite what you expected it to be

Pairing: Taweret x reader (platonic)

Word Count: 3.3k

Warnings: it's the afterlife y'all... you dead...

A/N: please note as much as I did some research into identity disorders, it may not he 100% factual and is supposed to be taken in context of the story... as always spelling and grammar are not my strongest skills so please be kind :)

Part Eight | Series Masterlist

- - - - -

Floating. 

You're floating in dark nothingness. 

Your body weightless. 

Your mind empty. 

Just… nothing…

Then you hear something in the distance. 

A voice. 

A name being called. 

Your name. 

Closer.

Closer.

The voice gets louder, angrier, as it gets closer…

“Y/N!”

— — — — 

Your head slips from your hand as you jump awake from your position, leaning against your work desk. Donna, your boss, stands on the other side of the desk, looking down at you disapprovingly. 

“Is this what we pay you for? Sleeping on the job?” She tuts before continuing to rant at you. You ignore her, looking around the familiar museum inventory room as you try to shake away your sleep. Broken remnants of a realistic feeling dream flash in your mind, like a puzzle missing half the pieces. 

You had been in Egypt, that much is clear. But what were you doing there? Lots of people, unknown faces looking at you with hatred. Scales. A glowing purple light. A crocodile? 

You’ll have to tell Steven about this dream when you see him. Maybe he’ll understand it more than you do. Then you realise, he’s not here. 

“Is Steven not in today?” You ask suddenly, not really caring that you’ve interrupted whatever rant Donna was on. 

“Who’s that?” she looks at you blankly and you laugh. 

“Ste-ven.” You repeat clearly, emphasising each syllable. “Steven Grant? You know, the Egypt guy. Works with me down here like, all the time.”

“I don't know who you're talking about.”

“Steven!” You shout, getting frustrated now. 

“Don't matter how many times you say it!” Donna is getting more annoyed by the second. “There is no Steven that works here.”

“Is this some sort of joke?! I know you don't like him very much but even by your standards this is cruel!” 

“Okay, you need to calm down or soon you won’t be working here either!”.

“I’ll show you, look!” You grab your mobile and open the photos app. To your horror there’s not a single one of Steven to be found. “No! Where is it?! I took one just the other day… he was wearing one of those stupid pharaoh headdress things we sell to the kids. It was right here-”

“Y/N!” Donna snaps, snatching your phone and putting it down on the desk. “I don't know want to hear any more about your imaginary friend, alright? You’re wasting my time as well as your own! So unless you wanna be looking for a new job I suggest you drop it.”

You're about to argue back, but think better of it. Arguing with Donna is like hitting your head against a brick wall. 

“You’re right, sorry..." You say sheepishly, playing along. “I just got confused. I think I might be coming down with something.” 

“It’s alright.” Donna looks at you unconvinced but accepts it anyway. “Forget about it and get back to work.”

“Yes boss.” You say and she walks away, glancing back at you suspiciously before she leaves. 

As soon as she’s gone you pick your mobile back up off the desk to message Steven, but when you search your messages all the ones from him are gone. So you head to the contacts and scroll down to ’S’. Sarah, Shaun, Simon, Stuart… where’s Steven? You scroll up, thinking maybe he’s saved under ‘G’ for Grant. Nothing.

You consider for a moment calling the police. But what would you say? ‘My friend has disappeared, but no one remembers him and I have no evidence he ever existed?’ They’d either laugh at you or lock you up. Maybe you are going crazy… 

No. Steven was real! You remember him. The sound of his laugh as he would tell you a really crap joke he'd heard. The way his eyes would light up when someone asked him a question about Egyptian history. The smell of cologne whenever he bumped into you, which was more often than you’d think. He really was quite clumsy. That was one of the things you loved about him. And one of the things you had in common. 

You decide to go find J.B. Surely he’ll must remember Steven, even if he does always called him ‘Scotty’. If all else fails, you could at least get him to check security cameras. 

But as you step out from behind the desk, you don't notice the large box on the floor and trip over it. You manage to stop yourself falling by clinging on to the desk, but you send the box flying across the room, the contents spilling out everywhere. It's filled with action figures that you sell in the gift shop. You pick one up. 

At first glance you think it’s a mummy but then you notice, it’s a man. A man dressed all in white and wearing a white cape. You take another figure out, almost the same but this one wearing a white suit. 

You dig deeper into the box. It’s full of figures. Some the same as the two you’ve already got. Some with the skull of a bird and holding a crescent moon staff. A lady with dark curly hair. A crocodile... Then you find one that makes your blood run cold. A man, wearing a reddish brown outfit and sandals. He has shoulder length dirty blonde hair, and he’s holding a glowing purple cane. 

“Harrow?” You whisper, the name coming to you out of nowhere.

An image fills your mind; Harrow stood in front of you, plunging a dagger into your stomach.

You look down and realise your clothes are stained red with blood. Your heart and mind starts to race. Something isn’t right. You need to get out of here. 

You run to the door, swing them open and crash straight into someone. You look up and to your surprise see a tall hippopotamus stood smiling wildly down at you. 

You freeze as the two of you stare at each other for a moment. The hippo raises its hand in a waving gesture. 

“Hi!” A female voice. She sounds friendly enough.

“Uh… h-hi?” you stutter, trying to remain calm. 

“You're not screaming.” She says. You're unsure if this is a statement or a question. 

“Am I supposed to be..?”

“No, not at all. I’m just used to people screaming when they first see me. To be fair death can be quite traumatic as it is so I suppose to then come face to face with, well, me… must be quite startling.” She laughs. “You're handling this amazingly. Well done you.”

“Death?” You ask and her face drops.

“You didn’t know?” She says and you shake your head. 

“I thought it was just a bad dream.”

“Oh dear. I am very sorry, but I am afraid you are quite dead. Oh hang on! I have a thing I’m supposed to read…” She pulls a scroll out from her robe and unravels it before beginning to read. “Welcome gentle traveller to the realm of the Duat. I am Tawaret, goddess of women and children and I am here to guide you through your journey to the afterlife.”

“Wait wait wait, if I’m dead then why am I at the museum? Shouldn’t I be, like, in heaven or something?”

“Because the Duat’s true nature is impossible for the human mind to comprehend, you may perceive this realm as something more easily recognisable to you. Was this place special to you?”

You think back through all the happy memories you have here, in this room laughing with Steven.

“Yeah, I suppose it is.” You say with a smile. “But hang on, Donna was here. My boss. She was here earlier having a go at me as usual. How is that possible? Is she dead too?” 

“This place can appear as real as you want it to. Whatever would normally be here will be here, that includes people. But rest assured, she is very much still alive.”

“Then where’s Steven? He was always here with me, but Donna didn’t even know who he was!”

“Steven? Steven Grant?” She asks.

“You know him?” 

“I do. Goodness, how do I explain this?” She says, mostly to herself. “Steven Grant isn’t real.”

“Of course he is!”

“No dear, uh…” she pauses, thinking over her words. “Do you know a Marc Spector?” 

“Kind of. Not very well, but we’ve met.”

“Right! So… Steven is Marc.”

“I don't understand.” 

“Marc created Steven when he was young to help him escape the trauma he was going through. He may not have even realised that that’s what he did, but whenever life got too much for Marc he would become Steven instead.”

“No hang on, Steven told me that this Marc lives inside him. Are you saying it’s the other way around?” 

“Steven really believed he was who he was. He had no idea the truth.” She watches you for a moment. Watches as your brain ticks over everything and sadly the truth sets in. “I think deep down, somewhere, subconsciously a part of you knew. That’s why he’s not here. The Duat picked up on it.”

She was right. Ever since that night when Marc first spoke to you, a small part of you had wondered. Harrow had tried to tell you, in his own manipulative way. You just didn’t want to believe it; Steven wasn’t real. 

“I wish he was here.” You say sadly. Taweret puts a caring hand on your shoulder. 

“I know dear, this is a lot to take in. But as I said, you are handling this exceedingly well.” She smiles at you, holding out her hand. “Come, let me show you around.”

— — — — 

You follow Tawaret through the doors and to your surprise you're no longer in the museum. Instead you find yourself on a magnificent wooden boat sailing through sand.

“Where are we going?” You ask, staring out at the the amazing blend of purple, blue and gold that makes up the sky. It would take your breath away, if you weren’t already dead. 

“Hopefully to the Field of Reeds.”

“Hopefully?” 

“Yes, there’s just something I have to do…” she places her hand on your chest and pushes, reaching inside you and when she pulls her hand back out she’s holding your heart. You watch in shock as she away from you and places the heart on a scale. She takes a feather and places it on the other side of the scale. The scales swing a few times before settling in a balanced position. 

“Oh goody.” Taweret smiles. “I would have hated to have to throw you overboard.” 

“Excuse me what?”

“If they scales hadn’t balanced, you would not be permitted entry to the Field of Reeds. The dead would have dragged you down into the Duat where you would have remained forever frozen in sand.” She explains and you stare at her in horror. “But the scales are balanced, so no need to dwell on that.” 

You walk to the edge of the boat and look over at the sand below you. You can just about make out the shapes of human figures half buried in the sands, hands desperately reaching for something to grab onto. It sends a shiver down your spine. Taweret moves to stand beside you. 

“All these people had unbalanced scales?” You ask sadly.

“I’m afraid so.” 

“Do the scales ever get it wrong?” 

“That’s not possible.” Taweret says looking at you, she notices you look troubled. “Are you alright?”

“When Harrow judged me with Ammit’s scales, they were unbalanced.”

“Ammit is wrong. She judges based on things that might happen, what someone might do. We judge on what you have done." She turns to face you completely, putting her hands on your shoulder so you have to face her. She looks you in the face. "Believe me when I say, you are a good person Y/N Y/L/N.” 

“Thank you.” You say with teary eyes as the boat continues its journey. 

— — — — 

Eventually you arrive at the most beautiful place you have ever seen.

“Welcome to the Field of Reeds.” 

It’s indescribable. An endless view of golden warmth. Peace like you’ve never felt before. 

“It’s… I don't have the words…” 

“Enjoy it. You belong here.” 

You smile up at her. 

The peace doesn’t last long however, when suddenly you hear a familiar voice calling from a distance behind you. 

“Hey! Hey, hippo lady! You gotta take me back!”

You turn to where the voice is coming from. 

“Not this again.” Taweret sighs.

“Marc?!” You interrupt as you realise who is running toward you. He stops when he notices you. 

“Y/N? What- what are you doing here?” 

“Same as you.” You respond bluntly. “Harrow killed me.”

A range of emotions flash across Marc’s face. Anger and sadness being the mains ones. 

“I’m sorry.” He says simply, before turning his attention back to the hippopotamus next to you. 

“There’s nothing I can do Marc.” Taweret says before he can even ask. “Steven is gone.”

“What?” You look between Taweret and Marc in a panic, but Marc turns away from you. “What do you mean he’s gone?”

“The Duat has him.” Taweret explains. “When Marc died, the Duat split him and Steven into their own separate bodies in order to fairly judge their lives.”

“So Steven is one of those bodies in the sand?” You say in horror and she nods. “We can go back for him though? Right?!”

“It doesn’t work like that. If you leave here you can’t return.” She looks at Marc. “Please, enjoy your peace.”

Marc turns around angrily. 

“Peace?! There is no peace without Steven!”

“You don’t need him anymore Marc. You created Steven when you needed to cope with the worst parts of your life, but that’s over now.” She says, her voice gentle.

“So I get to go on to eternal peace, and he just…” Marc pauses. “Stays lost in the sand forever?”

A tear escapes down your cheek at the thought of Steven being one of those desperate figures you saw in the sand on the way here. Even though you now understand that Steven was only ever a personality created by Marc, he still felt real to you. You only really knew Steven. Your goofy, lovable, Egypt obsessed friend. 

“No.” Marc says suddenly. “I’m not good with that.” 

“Wait!” Taweret calls as Marc begins to walk off. “Think about this!” 

You watch him for a moment before turning to Taweret. She shakes her head at you, warning you. But you ignore her and run to catch up with him.

“What are you gonna do?” You ask. 

“I’m gonna get Steven back.” 

“Then I’m coming too.”

“Are you sure?” He stops and turns to you. It’s still so weird seeing Steven’s face but hearing Marc’s voice. “I can’t guarantee this will go well.” 

“He’d do it for it me.” You say and Marc nods.

The world around you starts to swirl. The golden sky turns dark and the reeds change to sand. Just ahead of you you spot him. Steven. Now one of the figures stuck in the sand. The two of you run over to him. His frozen hand is reaching out in front of him, a look of pain on his face. Marc crouches in front of him. 

“Steven. Looking pretty rough man.” He cries. “I don't know if you can hear me… From the moment you arrived, way back then, we were so young… You saved me. I survived because I knew I wasn’t alone. You were always there, alive, full of hope. I tried to protect that, and I failed. I couldn’t protect you.”

You feel a strange sensation in your feet and look down to see they’ve started to turn to ice, like Steven. Then you notice Marc’s hands have also started to change. 

“You didn’t abandon me.” He looks down at his frozen hand. “You didn’t abandon me. And although that field back there was looking pretty good, there’s no way in hell I’m gonna abandon you.” 

He tried to reach his hand up to hold Steven’s but his arm goes stiff. He looks at you and nods his head to gesture for you to come over. You crouch down beside him, looking into Steven’s terrified eyes.

“Hey Stevo. It’s Y/N. You know, Marc is right. You would never abandon the people you care about. How many times you stayed later than you needed to at work, just so I didn’t have to do inventory on my own.” You laugh as tears stream down your cheeks. “And I know you wouldn’t have left me with Harrow unless you had no choice. Because you are the best person I’ve ever met. You don't believe it, but you are. I should have told you that when we were alive. I should have told you how much you mean to me.” The feeling of your body quickly changing to ice spreading up your legs and arms. You manage to lift your hand to hold Steven’s.

Your body has completely changed now, only your head remains. You look at Marc. He reaches his hand up and places it over yours and Steven’s.

“You are the only real superpower I ever had.” He says to Steven as the ice takes over, freezing his head completely. 

You feel it creeping up the sides of your face. You fix your eyes on Steven and manage to whisper three little words as the last part of you becomes frozen in the sand.

“I love you.” 

— — — — 

The worst thing about being frozen in the Duat wasn’t actually the being frozen, but rather the fact that you were conscious the whole time. Forced to stare into the frozen eyes of the man you love, but unable to move or speak to him. 

All concept of time goes out the window. You have no idea how long you’ve been stuck like this, when suddenly you're aware of a rumbling sound and bright light shining to the side of you. As the light hits the side of your face its like warmth is being restored to your body. The ice melts away and you take a deep breath as life is restored to your body. 

You look over to see the giant ornate gates have opened, light pouring through them. You turn back to look at Steven, the ice is starting to melt from him.

“Steven…” you whisper and he looks at you, taking a big breath of air into his thawed body. 

“Y/N…” he smiles and hugs you before turning to a now unfrozen Marc. “Marc!” 

“Steven!” He says happily.

“You came back? What the hell’s wrong with you?!” Steven says, smiling as he helps Marc stand.

“Well I did a whole little speech there.” 

“It wasn’t that little.” Steven laughs, pulling Marc in for a hug. He turns to you, holding out his hand to help you stand. “I heard yours too.”

“I meant every word.” You say sincerely, looking into his eyes and he smiles as he gently places a hand on your cheek. 

“I love you too.” He whispers.

“Uh, guys.” Marc says from beside you. “As lovely as this moment is… we have a problem.”

You both turn to see what Marc is looking at. A giant sandstorm wave heading straight towards you. 

“Oh bollocks!” Steven shouts. “Come on, lets go!”

The three of you start to run, Marc struggling as his leg seems to be injured. Steven hooks one of Marc’s arms over his shoulder and you do the same on the other side.

“I’m slowing us down, just go!” Marc shouts.

“We’re not leaving you!” You reply, almost dragging him now. 

“Coming through!” You hear and turn around to see Taweret on her ship sailing towards you. “Osiris you old softie!” She calls as she crashes through the wave, slowing it down to give you time. “Now run!!” She shouts. 

“Hippo!!” Steven shouts, waving his hands in the air before Marc grabs him and pulls you all towards the gates. You run with all the strength you can muster and finally make it through the gates. 

— — — — 

“Where am I?” You ask aloud, glancing at the bright white nothingness around you. “Steven? Marc? Anyone?”

“Y/N Y/L/N.” A voice calls from everywhere at once.

“Hello?” You respond. 

“I am Osiris, god of the underworld.”

Part Ten

Taglist :  @sleepylunarwolf / @ahookedheroespureheart / @sleepyamaya / @spicydonut25 / @kult6 / @uncle-eggy / @malaanii/ @toracainz / @pinkiestwinkie / @galacticstxrdust / @mateihavenoidea / @xmariakx / @oscarissac2099 / @whycantwebefriendz / @parkeepingparker

(if you want to be added to the taglist please let me know!)

[sehodreams]

Hey, my first story here, sorry for the mistakes English is not my first language

Anton x reader

TW: Idk if it's a trigger warning, I love all bodies and specially bigger girls, so the reader is a bit bigger, but there are some words that can be a bit sensitive to some girls about body image. Also a bit dubcon at first.

Really really short smut, I did when there was no light on my house (shot out to my third world country)

bestfriend!anton, first time for reader, no p in v, cum on pants, pussy eating, munch!anton

Idk how many words are there, I wrote it on my phone, so no spelling check either.

He really thought he wasn't that into you, you've been together so long as friends he didn't noticed he looked at you differently until you walked out of your class with another guy.

Why would you pay attention to a man that wasn't him?

He just laughed and brushed it off as a friendly jealousy.

But little by little he started to notice different things about you.

Since when was your hair so long? When you two met you had the Dora cut and he the bowl one.

But now your hair was soft, long and wavy, inviting him to touch it whenever he was behind you.

And your back? He knows what others say, that your shoulders and back are bigger than normal, but for him, they were perfect.

He knew he was big enough to wrap you, he had swam long enough to be built in the way only him could make you feel small.

You were tall, taller than all the other girls, but still shorter than him.

You were made for him.

He knew it, deep inside him he knew only he could treat you like every girl should be treated.

Well, he thought that until that guy appeared.

Two years older and taller than him, a fucking tower.

He saw how you looked at him with bright eyes, tall and strong, he catched you when you were about to fall and carried you like a feather. You were shock and blushed in a way he had never seen before.

He could carry you too, but the opportunity had never come again.

He remembers the last time he held you that way, you both had practice, so young you never saw each other with other eyes even if you were always together in swimsuits, you had no chest and he had no muscles on him. You were taller than him there, but when you were about to fall into the cold floor he didn't doubt it and held you, you were pretty shocked too because he didn't look strong enough to carry you, so skinny you always won in playful fights.

Everyone made fun of you because you were bigger than him and he held you like nothing, but he felt proud, he realized that even if he looked weak, he was strong enough to help his best friend when needed.

You never fell like that again, even when he kinda wished he could hold you like that again just to touch you more.

When you both grew, you shorter than him now but still taller than normal, you hadn't lost all that baby fat, however you weren't a kid anymore, you suddenly had the biggest tits he had ever seen, the longest and thickess legs any girl he knew had, and the prettiest face he could think of. You awakened something inside him when you were in your last year of swimming in high-school, you showed him in his dreams things he didn't feel proud of, but still wanted them.

And now, in college, he decided to make those dreams true.

He just wanted you, so he did everything he had to had you.

He made friends with Sungchan and pushed him to meet other girls, and when you knew he had a girlfriend, you just ran to him crying, asking what was wrong with you. Your height? Your round face? Maybe your massive thights? You doubted everything Anton loved, and he was a bit happy because now he could show you what those things provoked on him.

"Sit" he said after you entered his room, you were wearing the school hoddie and a pair of shorts that showed your long, smooth legs.

"I don't know what to do, Anton. I'm the only one who hasn't had a single relationship, not even a fling, am I really that undesirable?" You cried with the prettiest eyes he had ever seen. Your crying face was pretty too, eyes slightly red, cheeks with tear stains and bright red lips.

He had to show you how pretty you were for him. He closed the door and put the secure, you thought it was only him protecting you so no one else saw you crying, you didn't know he did it to not let you run away.

"You know that's not true" he said softly, sitting beside you on the floor. He put his arm around you, and like instinct you put your face on his chest.

"I know what they say about me, I'm too tall, my shoulders too broad, my legs too thick, I'm always too much for them" you said sadly.

"They don't know how to appreciate you" he answered, moving his hand to your thigh to caress your skin.

"I thought Sungchan was different" you moved your arms around his side and hugged him, searching for comfort. He wanted to just lay you down on the floor and show you he was the different one, he adored all the things you hated about you, and it made him feel powerful, to be bigger than you, a big girl. A few minutes passed and then he decided to start moving.

"I think you're perfect the way you are" he said and you sniffled with a soft but dry laugh.

"You're the only one that thinks that, even my mom wants me to stop swimming, says I'm built like a man" you cried.

"She's so wrong, you're definitely a girl", he pinched your leg, "no man would have this legs, strong but soft, legs that show how much you care about the things you like, the dedication you put in everything you do", he moved his hands up, and carefully, looking at your eyes for any sign of you being uncomfortable, inserted them on your hoddie, touching your waist, "no man would have this waist, soft enough to shape them however i want", he felt bolder, seeing you in trance, he lifted his hands and unashamedly touched the perk of you left nipple and cupped your other tit, "and let me tell you, no man would have these tits, full and warm, perfect to bury my face on them".

He saw how your face grew hot, red and not knowing what to say, he continued with his hand on your chest and put the other one to caress the unattended nipple.

You closed your eyes, feeling him touch you and when he closed the distance between you two and kissed you in the most sinninful way he thought of, sticking his tongue directly in your mouth, not giving you a chance to have a sweet first kiss, he interlocked your lips with his and pinched harder your nipples to make you moan and skirm, laying you down on the floor he made sure you had no way of scaping, torturing you with his hands.

He took your hoddie off, you had no bra and he saw your nipples so inviting he licked them until he made you cry loud, sensitive. "You're fucking perfect" he said and teared down your shorts with your panties. You closed your legs, naked in front of him you felt incredibly vulnerable. "I want to see you, please" he said. You felt his need and opened your legs slowly, still embarrassed of showing him your body in such a lewd way to someone who used to be your best friend, "So fucking pretty".

He kissed you to distract you, and when you were relaxed with him again, he moved his hand down your waist, feeling your curves, until he found that perfect wet place that drove him insane. At first his fingers were just recollecting the juices you dripped, but when he moved his wet hand to his face and sniffed your aroma, he broke and buried his face down there, licking a long strip to taste you as much as he could.

"So fucking sweet, fuck" he mumbled against your skin, you were crying loud with his mouth touching your pussy. Your hands on his hair only made him more hungry and he quickly started to fuck you with his tongue. You were so drunk on the feeling you didn't noticed how you pushed his face in such a way your clit rubbed his nose and he felt intoxicated, your pussy fucking his face better than anything he dreamed of.

In his dreams you were shy, so much more than now that you were so lost you didn't care if he could breath or not, and he loved that, he knew how to hold his breath and was glad that ability came to be useful for you. He just wanted you to use him as much as he wanted to use you.

You suddenly tried to separate his face from your sensitive clit. He understood what was going to happen, and denying your pleas he grabbed your hands with one of his hands and pushed you down on your stomach with the other, not letting you get away. He increased the force on his tongue, making out with your pussy, pressing his whole face on it to drown on anything you were about to give him.

"Cum" he ordered softly, almost like a whisper, and that was enough. You came so hard your breath stopped for a second and the noise that left your throat would have made you embarrassed in any other ocasion, but you were so dumb on the feeling you didn't even notice. Your whole body fell to the cold floor and your eyes couldn't see from all the tears. And he? He came on his pants, completely proud of his work.

The silence after the best -and first- orgasm of your life was weirdly comfortable and you still felt the need to break it.

"I never noticed that your ceiling wasn't white anymore" you said after a few minutes, when you recovered part of your senses. You were still naked under the shirt Anton had given you, big enough to be oversized on you too, with the inside of your legs wet and sticky, too tired to move. The ceiling was a really clear beige now, warmer, different from the cold but bright white you used to now.

"Yeah, you don't notice many things" he answered on your side, putting your favorite playlist on his phone, because of course he had all your playlists.

[biconickyoshi]

Hi! The Zukaang prophecy dream person here. What you said about a lot of people not even considering Aang and Zuko as a ship made me think. Following that thought, I fell down a rabbit hole that turned into something a lot deeper than just shipping discourse. I'm not a professional psychologist or anything, but I hope some of my insight on this topic is interesting. I apologise in advance for so many words to read!

As a kid I remember being very clueless about romance. I never really interpreted Aang's affection towards Katara as romantic at all, and I honestly have no idea why, since they literally kissed on screen multiple times. So that's why, for years, I remember trying to find a ship that I would like, yet nothing seemed to click just right. That is until the Avatar Renaissance of 2020 when a lot of new people joined the fandom, and a flood of new discussions arose, way different than it used to be years ago. It made me realize that the core of the issue lies in Aang himself. At least that's my own theory, feel free to disagree. A lot of popular avatar ships include everyone from the main cast, but rarely ever Aang himself, apart from the canon Kataang. In all aspects, Aang is an unconventional protagonist, one unheard of at the time. He is a monk, he is a pacifist, he is a vegetarian. For an average kid or teenager in 2005, I don't think much of these aspects are too relatable. We were and still are used to seeing agressive, determined teenage protagonists, ready to beat up the bad guy at any opportunity. That's what was considered "cool". So a bald 12 year old boy with an arrow on his head who grew up in a temple, surrounded by monks, who avoids hurting people, even those who wiped out his entire nation, is simply foreign. You often hear arguments against Kataang: he is too young for her, she sees him as a little brother, they simply don't fit. Those are all false statements, as rewatching the show without bias you can clearly see them love each other deeply and mutually. Aang is a child, but he is a person too, someone with his own values and principles, and so is Katara. To me, both of them are deserving of love, Aang is deserving of Katara's love.

I am now going to talk about the genocide of the air nomads, as I think I can provide a unique perspective on this. I am Ukrainian. The russian invasion of my country has been going for 10 years now, but two years ago specifically my whole world turned upside down when russia launched a full scale invasion, intending to conquer all of Ukraine. A lot of my beliefs of how the world worked changed drastically. Seeing myself from years ago in people from around the world, not yet knowing war, I think this is something you have to experience yourself to truly understand what it means for another nation to want yours erased from existence. Aang's entire nation is gone. Everyone. No one is alive, not a single person. I don't think many people truly let that sink in. He has to keep going every day with the knowledge that the world he is in doesn't have a place for his nation anymore. He has nowhere to go and no one to come to. He has the gaang, and that's wonderful, but it's not the same. He is the only person in the entire world who truly bears this pain. To me, imagining that for myself, is an indescribable horror. To imagine having no place to come back to, living among strangers who know nothing of you and your people. Yes, he has the temples that preseve history, but how much of them has been destroyed? Even the people at the Northern air temple, although fleeing a disaster, still contributed to the destruction and loss of that history.

Yet, bearing this unimaginative hurt, Aang is able to forgive. He is able to make peace with his loss, and let go of his feelings of rage. He wants to see good in the Fire nation people. And through that, he is the only one who can truly see Zuko as he is. Having let go of anger and hurt, he can see the genuine wish Zuko has for atoning for his family's sins. He can literally see through him, all his feelings and thoughts, like no one else. He holds no grudge, no hatered for him. If you ever have a war, genocide unleashed on your country, you would know how impossible it is to forgive. Yet, Aang, as the avatar, has no choice but to do just that, to let go. I think that alone makes Aang one of the strongest people in the avatar universe.

But how is this relevant to the Aang ships being dismissed? Circling back, to me, this is a matter of understanding. People resonate with Katara for her experience as a younger sister, thrown into the role of a mother figure, for her experience as a teenage girl in a sexist world, someone with a desire to become stronger despite being denied that opportunity, be it by the circumstances or by someone stronger than her deeming her "unworthy". People resonate with Sokka for his struggle to become a reliable leader, for his insecurity being the only one without a special "talent" (aka bending). Toph for her sheltered upbringing and parents that are unwilling to see her as more than just her disability. Zuko for his struggle with his identity, his own values versus those forced upon him, an abusive household, repressed emotions and anger, being a sibling of someone way more naturally talented, coming to terms with the hurt he has caused and atoning for it. But what can people find in Aang that resonates with them? All of what Aang is, is grand and bigger than yourself. I relate to Aang as someone whose nation is being subjected to genocide, but is that a common experience? I'm sure that nowadays a lot more people came to appreciate Aang's character more, but as a child in the 2000s, would you really say you saw yourself in Aang as much as you saw yourself in Sokka, Katara, Toph or Zuko?

In conclusion, my theory is that, because of how unique Aang has been written, that prevents people from seeing him as someone they could imagine in a relationship with someone else. After all, how can you write about someone you don't share many life experiences with? How do you write them in love? How do you make someone so different from you come to life?

Anyway, thanks a lot for reading all of my brain vomit. Avatar is truly a goldmine for character analysis and study. Would really love to hear what you think!

I absolutely loved reading your analysis on Aang's character, anon. I agree wholeheartedly with everything you've brought up here. I think it's so true that many people (whether they're conscious of it or not) view Aang through a certain lens due to how unconventional of a protagonist and person he is. To many, he's not "supposed" to be the one who "gets the girl". He's not your stereotypical handsome/buff/rugged teenage boy protagonist; he's small, kind, goofy, and pacifistic. And I think in general that people find it difficult to wrap their heads around a male character like Aang not conforming to Western and/or patriarchal society's expectations/conventions when it comes to behavior and overall physical appearance. I think this also results in a lot of people unconsciously infantilizing Aang and having a hard time viewing him in a shippable way.

It's also interesting that you brought up Aang's almost "otherness" when it comes to the world he finds himself in when he awakens from the iceberg - he is the last one of his kind in a world where nobody remembers his people. He's from a culture that is vastly different from the ones that remain in the world. His philosophy, mannerisms, gender expression, appearance, etc. are all completely unique, not only canonically in the post-genocide AtLA world, but in our world as well, especially in the West.

The fact that despite everything Aang has been through, despite all the atrocities he has witnessed, he still is able to remain true to himself at his core through to the very end is so moving to me. Aang will always be my favorite character all time simply because of who he is. Even as a kid, I loved him so much - I never had a crush on Zuko or Sokka, it was always Aang. He represented not only the type of person I would want to be, but also the type of person I would want to be with. And sure, he's not perfect, but that's another one of the many things I love about him - he's human, he makes mistakes.

I feel like I could say more, but you already wrote so much good stuff in your analysis, and I'm not sure if there's much I could add haha.

Also, thank you for sharing your perspective as someone who lives in Ukraine - I can't imagine how difficult it must be to be dealing with all of Russia's BS the past decade, and especially recently. I sincerely hope you're staying safe and healthy! <3

[mushroomwoods]

like fallen leaves

they fell and left him behind, for he knew that no amount of time would ever be enough for him or you to remain.

character — Time, romantic.

cw — hurt/no comfort, (sort of) soulmate!au, death.

i feel like I turned into a dark content creator at this point, sigh. it wasn't beta read and my mind was a mess while i wrote this so... read at your own discretion.

It was natural. He was used to it. The chosen one was bound to thread it's path alone.

It was natural.

Yet it didn't hurt any less.

It felt like he was but a tool, used for others wellbeing and discarded when not needed.

A life in which only meaning was to live for another.

He helped those in need, but never got an ounce of recognition, he said to himself that it wasn't needed, yet the moment you smiled at him, offering to help him — worthless, useless him — he felt like it was the only sliver of hope he ever needed in his life.

It felt natural.

To be drawn to you, to seek you among the ever so busy city, to wave back when you would look back at him with a smile of your own.

But as all things in his life, they would forget, they would soon enough not even remember the young kid who saved their lives by defeating the moon. It was but his job.

Even as years passed, he knew he would be the only one to remember, after all, if not him that had gone through such horrors many and many and many and many times... who else would? 

And he wasn't surprised when you didn't recognize him either, but somehow, he noticed a slip, the way your eyes softened, the sympathy in your voice... the fear for something you couldn't even remember that happened.

It was just a slip.

The memories may be forgotten, reseted, but one's experiences will never be. Your body remembered what had happened so long ago, if not, why else would you dream of it so many times?

For the first time, he pitied someone else.

The only one to ever try to help him, was the also one to remain with such shackles binding them together.

Maybe it was the curse that followed him.

But it made him oh so happy. He could only think about how it was a sign of the goddess about how the both of you were destined to be together, how no matter what, you wouldn't run from him.

How you were meant to be.

But soon your empathy turned into apathy, no human being would ever be able to stand this type of torture without trouble like he did, maybe he really wasn't meant to live among them, he wasn't natural.

The first sliver of hope he ever had slipped through his fingers no matter how much he tried to grasp it.

He didn't want it, please, don't leave, even though he knew how weirded out you'd be, he wanted to get on his knees and beg and cry for you not to leave him behind too.

It wouldn't be bearable. He could fight thousands of other moons, suns or even demons, it didn't matter, as long as you, stayed by his side.

Yet it was to no avail, you were distant before he could even try, it was no surprise how your usually cheerful smiles were closed off from the world.

It was no surprise how it all ended.

His last image of you was up at the clock tower.

Your eyes, sunken and dark from the tiredness, cast upon the sky, lifeless.

“I'm sorry, Link... I can't take it anymore.” Your voice was rough, he wondered when was the last time he saw you talking to anyone. “Please don't stop me.” You walked to the edge.

And he didn't.

[a-french-coconut]

Part 1 (Will Solace)

Will's dad, Apollo, is the god of a lot of things.

Music, archery, poetry, masculine beauty, knowledge, arts, medicine, sun, light, prophecy, logic and the list goes on.

He has mostly inherited the healing part with some musical and light abilities like his supersonic wisthle and light tricks. He's not good with bows and arrows, he is average with any instruments or singing, does not have prophetic dreams and does not have the same artistic sensibility as his siblings.

He deems himself a healer and only a healer (Aren't you cute ? Trying to deny my very existence ?). His role on the battlefield is not to shed blood but to prevent it from happening. His hands are made for knitting skin back together and glow golden when he sings hymns to his father (oh but they could do so much more...) .

"Shut up".

Will is really happy he's alone right now. Even for demigods, talking to no one is strange. Granted, being alone when he is deep in the woods with no weapon and maybe a little lost is not the best situation he's ever been in, but it is the one he prefers when she decides to invade his mind again.

"I don't understand why you keep trying to convince me."

(Well, there is not much to do except bothering you Will. And who knows ? One day your patience will be running thin and that day...)

"Not happening."

(Ugh, can you at least get me out of your mind ?)

He hesitates. As good as it sounds to have her out of him, he is still wary of letting her roam free. Last time he lost control...

(Oh Will, there is nothing of interest here.)

He is still hesitating, his control slips a little and he feels her getting out, materialising in front of him.

Should any dryad melt from their tree at this instant, they would see a tall blond boy looking sternly at a little girl.

"Gods I had forgotten my Lord's touch on my skin ! How much time did you keep me prisoner in your mind ?" asks the girl basking in the sun.

"Ten years, more or less." Will answers curtly, advancing deeper in the woods. It's not wise but he is not going to take the chance of meeting a camper and explaining why he is talking to a five years old girl.

"I remember when you were five ! Such a cute little child, bright blue eyes, golden locks... well you didn't change that much."

"Just go wander in the woods or something. I didn't let you out of my mind just for you to stay with me."

"As you command."

She disappears quickly, enjoying her short liberty.

Once again alone, Will sits behind a tree and close his eyes, enjoying this rare moment of silence. She had been with him ever since he created her when he was five. Every little child has his imaginary friend that vanish as they grow out of childhood. Except Will's friend who just wormed a place in his mind and became tangible. Her name is Raz. He still loves Rapunzel as much as when he was a kid.

But where Rapunzel heals with her hair, Raz wilts with a touch of her hand.

See, Apollo is the god of many good things but he is a pharmakon, both healer and destroyer. As he is the one who heals, he is also the one who strikes sickness and plague.

And maybe that Will isn't just a healer. Maybe he's a little more than that. Maybe he is as his father is, medicine in one hand and poison in the other.

He doesn't exactly know how it works but he thinks that Raz is the physical representation of his plague powers. When she walks the earth, Will doesn't feel that part of him anymore. Maybe he could do the same with his healing powers ? Manifest them in a human form or something else.

Well for that he'll have to remember how he created Raz in the first place. It surely has to do with what happened after she appeared for the first time but Will isn't very fond of remembering what happened that night.

Giving pneumonia to his very mortal uncle, almost killing him in the process, because he let Raz "have fun" is not something he thinks about with a smile on his face.

Especially when she won't explain why she did it. Since then, Kaz mostly stayed in Will's mind without too much complaints.

He always wondered if his uncle did something to him or those he cares about. It's the only explanation he has. That or he is a sociopath who lashed out under the form of a little girl a deadly sickness on his uncle for fun.

He is going to stick to the former hypothesis.

There have been times where Raz begged him to unleash her if not without restraints, at least through him and he refused, scared of what she would do, of what he would do.

When Lee's head was caved in.

When his siblings died one by one in Manhattan.

Could he have save them ?

Better not dwell on what ifs too long.

Point is, Raz is an everlasting reminder of the monster inside him, a wretched creature who could kill anyone with a simple touch.

He is afraid of her, he is afraid of himself .

Will hears branch snapping and the crunching sound of someone walking on leaves. Raz must have gotten bored.

He sighes, goodbye beloved peace, you will be missed, and gets up. The sun is setting and if he doesn't get back quickly, he'll have to run from the harpies again. He does not want to run right now.

Raz still haven't show her face.

"Come on I know you're there, I heard you."

More rustling but still no little girl.

"Please Raz, I have to get back-"

His words die when from the bushes emerge a hellhound as big as Mrs O'Leary but definitely not as cute as her.

Running doesn't so bad after all.

Branches slap him in the face as he runs in what he thinks is the general direction of Camp. He just have to reach the border and Peleus will protect him. He just need to outpace the hellhound until then, not attract any other monsters on the way back and find Raz.

He hears the growling beast getting closer and forces his legs to go even faster. He'll have to thank his father for beating the god of speed at racing and passing him those godly genes.

Raz, I don't where you are but you need to come back right now !

He never tried contacting her by telepathy before, never wanted to, but this a desperate situation that requires a desperate solution. It's not that he particularly want to hear her whispering in his head again but Will has come to learn that he can't ignore her for too long without feeling like there's a hole, a void waiting to be fill again. It's very hard to function when your very being is incomplete.

A branch hits him hard in the face, causing to fall on the ground. Demigods reflexes mixed with years of training save his life, Will shifting just in time for the hellhound to claw the ground he was laying on a second ago.

A well-aimed kick in the ribs allows him a few more seconds to get up but there isn't time to flee. Here he is, the woods getting darker and darker, battling a monster without weapon because he evidently inherited the logic side of his dad.

As Will readies himself to dodge, the hellhound stars to whimper and blood erupts from his eyes and nose until he is covered in the red liquid. The beast gives one last painful cry before exploding in golden dust.

Behind him stand a proud and smiling Raz, eyes glowing green and tendrils of dark smoke swirling around her.

The way the creature suffered... Will shivers.

He really really does not like that part of himself. He is meant to heal not to butcher.

(Raz's smile disappears, sadness glaze her eyes now a normal brown and with a flick of the wrist, the smoke evaporates.)

Without a word, she goes back to Will's mind, nesting herself in a corner and doesn't utter a word.

Will just shrugs and hastily return to his cabin.

(Do you hate me Will ?)

Her voice is small, insecure, not the arrogant and easygoing one he is used to. The question makes him freeze in his bed.

Does he hates himself ?

"No." he murmurs in the silence of Cabin 7.

There's a legend that says that no lie can be pronounced within walls of the one who does not lie.

Will used to believe it until now.

part 2, 3 and 4 posted !