#I dunno I feel like Damian knows how to cook a handful of things

[harumscarumcos]

listen: nearly everyone who lives in wayne manor can cook (to an extent) EXCEPT Bruce he is barred from going into the kitchen

[chronicbatfictioner]

Exchanges and Compromises - Chapter 19

The third time Dick sneezed as he went by the kitchen, he decided to take action. Enough is enough. But he definitely was not prepared for what he would get a faceful of when he opened the kitchen door.

"Too much chili! Abort, abort! This is not a drill!" he choked as he closed the inner door and darted to the back door, opened it, and inhaled fresh air. "Good god, it's lethal in there!" he exclaimed.

"What even..." Damian muttered. "Grayson, there are only two ounces of chili in that Baiwang!"

"Is that why Alfred and Jason are wearing gas masks?" Dick demanded.

"This is to prevent our breath to get into the food, Richard. And they're just masks - paper masks. I can still smell the chili and all."

"What's a baiwang?" Dick asked curiously.

"Blood pudding," Alfred replied. "I must say, it is a... rather unique dish."

"Is it too late to be vegan, now?" Dick knew his face must have turned green. But Jason rolled his eyes.

"It's technically a kind of vegetarian, except for the goat blood. Do you know how hard it is to get blood around here? We had to go to a slaughterhouse, 'fer cryin' out loud. And now you're gonna insult my cooking??"

"'Technically', 'a kind of' bloody," Dick observed the pot that Jason was stirring from a respectable distance. "...those aren't likely things a TV chef would use to describe their creation..."

"It shall be a sort of soup, and the red didn't come from the blood. In fact, cooked blood would look like meat, dark colored," Damian explained. "Mother loved this..." he continued and stopped abruptly.

Dick immediately regretted all the nasty words he has said, and swallowed the rest that he hasn't said. "I'm..."

Damian, however, shook himself out of his melancholy quickly and added. "I requested Todd to make it, and it appeared that father is aware of it being my mother's favorite as well. And its cooking method. He promised he shall take grandfather and grandmother - as well as the brute - out of the house until we are done."

The sneezing from outside the kitchen broke their reverie. "Goodness gracious! How much chili is in progress here?" Tim squawked indignantly. "Now I know what you mean by lethal, Damian..."

"Imagine waking up from a night shift to that..." Dick grumbled, still.

"Seriously, you two are the whitest people to ever white." Jason scowled at them, paused, and glared at Dick pointedly. "...and you're not even white to begin with!"

"Hey, I might have Romani blood, but I was raised in the Owl's nest and they're full of white people!" Dick protested.

"Seriously, though, don't forget to leave some for my aunt Dinah. She loves spicy food." Tim hinted. "I reminded you of that already, haven't I?"

"You did, and will do, you hear that, brat? I'm gonna set aside a portion for a Ms Dinah Drake, the nice lady who likes spicy food." Jason told Damian. The latter scowled.

"You are trying to bribe her, are you not, Todd?" Damian retorted.

"Bribe her over what--" Jason started, but Dick leaped over the kitchen counter and turned Tim around and dragged him outside.

"How about you accompany me for some fresh air here, Timbers? Feels like my lungs are on fire!" he chirped. Kind of. He was thankful, though, that he'd turned Tim just in time for the kid to spin-sneezed and missed the pot by several inches. "See? I'm not the only one..." he added, waving to Jason's grumbled 'thanks for not sneezing into my baiwang, derp!'

Outside, once he was sure he was out of hearing range of those in the kitchen, Tim groaned out loud and slumped to the ground. "Oh I'm so screwed..."

Could be incongruous, could be case-related; but Dick's gut feelings said something else. "Well, I dunno, try scrubbing up nice and you could still get..." he wiggled his eyebrows and grinned mischievously.

Tim threw him a dirty look, and Dick mentally patted himself on the back. "What-ever." he snarled at Dick.

"Oh come on, Timmy! It's not like anyone would be mad if you're mad crushin' on him!" Dick finally started to laugh. "Your denial is... cute. But I think someone like him would want a direct proposal."

"Annnd... I'm officially lost. I don't know what you're talking about." Tim replied, straight-faced. But Dick has read enough people in his life to know a tell when he saw one.

"About six-two, two hundred pounds give or take, a whole load of muscle enough to bring down a pair of oak doors if necessary, black hair, blue-green eyes-- need I go on?" Dick hinted.

"What about that-- that sounds like Bruce, you know."

"Bruce Wayne has blue eyes. Not blue-green. Oh, wait, lemme make it exotic-like, teal-colored eyes..."

"I'm seriously thinking about murdering you and dump your body to the Gotham harbor, but then I worry for the other mutated harbor residents if they have to face your ghost."

Dick laughed out loud. "Oooh... kitten is crushin' hard! Look, lethal gas notwithstanding, we're doing alright. Come back by like, seven tonight, bring a bottle of good red or white wine, and dress up a little, but no suit. Just like it said in Alfred's pretty invitation. If it'll make you feel better, we all get the same invitation - in spite of us living here and all. So..."

"Remind me why we're doing this again?"

"So you can eventually have a real date with--" Dick chortled as he dodged a handful of compost Tim threw at him.

[batboyimagines]

Cold-Blooded [Damian Wayne x Male Reader]

Your Dad and your Ma’s relationship is... rocky to say the least. They were never actually together, no marriage or anything. It was just one night of bad decisions that made you.

So your birth wasn’t well planned. You think the reason your ma even kept you was because she was lonely. She’s raised you to the best her ability for they past fourteen years but it was only recently your dad found out. Now they have joint custody.

See, all of that isn’t normal per say, but it’s not bizarre or anything. Just two inexperienced, lonely people screwing up in more ways than one to make a whole nother screw up. However, your parents aren’t exactly average. One’s not even human. Anymore.

Medusa and John Constantine. By the gods, that’s probably the worst match imaginable. Moms great and all, you really do love her, but she’s a little crazy. Being exiled on an island all alone does that to you. And Constantine’s just... a mess. Not even a hot one.

Even so, you don’t mind being pawned between the two. They’re both great in their own ways and you appreciate the both of them. Right now you’re hanging out at your dad's house. Though it feels more like hanging out with an awkward uncle than a dad.

It’s nearing about 8:00 in the morning, not that you know that. You’re asleep on the couch, gazing blankly at the ceiling. You forgot to close your eyes while you sleep again. It’s sort of creepy.

A sudden pounding on the door startles you up, breaking the staring contest you were having with the ceiling. A contest which you totally won. You blink dazedly and the pounding starts up again.

Mournfully slipping out from under the soft, warm stack of blankets you slept under, you lumber towards the door. You squint through the peephole.

Through the peephole you see a warped view of six costumes lunatics of all sizes. You lean back from the door and let yourself have a begrudged yawn. Gods, it’s way too early for this. Dad’s still asleep even with all the racket.

The littlest lunatic in the hood pounds the door hard enough for it to shake in its frame and you decide you’ve had enough. You don’t bother with the chain latch and just open the door a crack.

“Do you know how early it is?” You groan. The little lunatic, who is actually around the same height as you, scoffs.

“It’s eight pm. A normal person would be awake and ready for the day by now.”

“Well, I don’t know how you people are up then because anyone who dresses like that isn’t normal.” The green guy snorts.

“Listen, we’re sorry to wake you, but is this the residency of John Constantine?” The guy in the black leotard asks.

“... no, why?” You ask suspiciously.

“We are the Teen Titans and we are in need of magical assistance.” The really tall, really exposed, redhead says. “We require his assistance, on behalf of the justice league.” You tense a bit at that.

Okay, you don’t hold the things that the gods did to your mom against those two members of the justice league, Aquaman and Wonder Woman. They seem like nice folks who really do want to do good and not for the selfish, vain reasons gods usually do, but…

They got their abilities from the same gods who really, really messed your mom up for no good reason. So call you petty, but you don’t want to associate with them.

“Sorry, he’s not here.” You say attempting to close the door on them. The hooded lunatic jams the door with his hand.

“This is a matter of utmost importance, you will take us to Constantine.” He demands. You scowl at him and try to shut the door on his fingers.

“Screw off weirdo, he’s not here!”

“He is, you are lying!”

“Am not!”

“Are too!”

“Am NOT!”

“Are TOO!”

“Christ on a cracker, what the bloody hell is going on?!” Your dad shouts, slamming the door shut, fully unlocking it and swinging it back open. Looks like the racket finally got him up. He sags at the sight of the troupe of crazies. “The hell do you people want?”

“We need your help.” Leotard man says.

“Of course you do. With what, I mean?”

“My father, Trigon, has possessed the justice league and we need a way to stop him.” The girl in purple replies. Your dad tenses.

“Trigon, eh? Sounds like a piece of work.” He says. You pretend to cough.

“Says the piece of work.” You tease under your breath because what’s even the point of a dad if you can’t make jabs at his life choices? He gives you a look and you just grin up at him.

“Why should I help you? The kind of magic that I’d have to use against that guy is expensive and tricky. I’m not gonna do it outta’ the good of my heart.”

“Because if you don’t help us, he could destroy the world.” Leotard says.

“Of course he could.” Dad breathes out as he sags against the door frame. You pat his arm. He looks at you and you give him an awkward smile. It seems to help him to a decision. He straightens up. “Well, I guess I don’t want the world to end. I need somewhere for this one to grow up.” He pats your head affectionately.

“Thanks.” You say, a bit embarrassed. Half because that’s the sappiest thing he’s ever said to you and half because, well, it’s nice to know you mean something to him. Even if he didn’t know that you existed until a few months ago.

“Well, come on in then.” He says turning from the doorway and into the apartment. The troupe of crazy people that nearly just broke into your house follow. You flounder for a moment.

“Wait, seriously? We’re just gonna let some random strangers, who nearly just broke in our house, inside just like that?” Your dad looks a bit guiltily at you. 

“Sorry bud, but this happens a lot more than I’d like.” He raises his hand hesitantly and gently lays it on your shoulder. “You can go back to your mother while I deal with this, if you’d like.”

“No, no it’s okay,” You quickly reassure, “it’s not bad it’s just… kinda weird. You know it’s weird right?” He snorts.

“Of course I do, but to be honest it’s almost normal for my line of work.”

“You should get into a different line of work then.”

“You know, I probably should.” 

Leotard man clears his throat- you know what? You want to know their names before they commandeer any more of your father-son bonding time. “By the way, what are your names? I feel I should know them before we do anything else.”

“Oh! My apologies,” Redhead replies, “I am Koriand’r, of Tamaran. And this is Blue Beetle, Beast boy, Raven, Nightwing, and Robin. We are the Teen Titans.”

“No offense, but you look more young adult than teenager?” She smiles sheepishly.

“Well, I was part of the original titans. I am now the leader.”

“Oh, okay, makes sense.”

“Alright,” your dad cuts in, “so what’s your plan for Trigon? What exactly do you want from me?” He and the Teen Titans begin to plan. You stick around for a bit, to get an idea of what your dad does. It’s not very interesting. So ten minutes into planning, you slip away to make breakfast.

Now, your dad is a mess. Not kind of a mess, a straight up mess. The kitchen is almost a reflection of your father. It’s a huge mess. There’s takeout boxes and dirty dishes strewn across every counter, no room for literally anything there is so much garbage. And this is only a few weeks worth of build up. Dad actually cleaned up before you arrived. 

Before you can even begin cooking you have to clean off the counters for some space. You’re trying to balance takeout boxes on top of the overflowing garbage can when a voice sounds from the doorway.

“This place is repulsive.” 

“HUAUGH FUCK!” You whip around flinging the takeout boxes across the room. Hooded lunatic, uh Robin you think, dodges them expertly. He seems a little surprised. You clutch at your chest, “Jesus, Christ man!”

“Apologies, I… did not mean to startle you.” He raises his hands a bit, as if calming a rapid animal. 

“Apology accepted.” You calm your rapid heart. Your freak out seems to have spooked any animosity Robin had earlier. The two of you stand around awkwardly. He’s a stranger in your house and he’s in a strangers house, which does not make for easy conversational partners. He looks around, avoiding your gaze. His eye catches on a painting on the wall.

“That is… an interesting picture.” He tries.

“Uh yeah, that’s actually a picture of my mom.” You say, playing with your hands.

“That is Medusa.”

“Yeah, she’s my mom.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“I see.”

“She doesn’t actually look like that, that painting’s really inaccurate.”

“Why does your father keep it up?”

“I dunno,” You’d feel weird cooking with him watching you, so you make your way past Robin and into the dining room, “I think either pettiness or affection.”

“Pettiness?” He asks following you.

“Yeah, I mean, they aren’t together? I think they were at least acquaintances before they, uh, ‘conceived’ me. But they don’t seem to like each other very much nowadays.” You say, pulling a chair out from the table. You push the one across from you out with your bare foot and gesture towards it. Robin hesitates a moment, but decides to sit down. “What about your parents? They like each other any more than mine do?”

“No,” He snorts, “I think they like each other much less.”

“Oh.”

The conversation stalls. You shift uncomfortably. Robin stares a hole into the grimy table. 

“Why not?”

“Pardon?”

“Why don’t your parents like each other?” He seems to think over his answer. 

“They are on opposite sides of the law.” 

“Oh, that’s tough.”

“Yes.”

“There’s tons of couples on opposite sides of the law though.” 

“Not them. My father’s moral code cannot bend to suit my mother.”

“Ah, I see.” You lean across the table and pat his arm. He looks at it a bit suspiciously, you pull it back. “I’m sorry about your parents.”

“No need to apologize, I’ve already come to terms with it.”

“Yeah, well, still sucks.” You say standing up. “I was gonna make food, wanna lend me a hand? I’m still new to cooking appliances. And electricity.”

“How are these things new to you?” He asks, even as he stands up to help anyway.

“Dude. I grew up on an island with no electricity or WiFi. All of this,” you gesture to the space around you, “is totally alien to me.”

“Ah, I see. Yes, I will assist you.”

“Thanks.”

He failed to mention that he has never used a toaster either. You both nearly burn down the apartment, had it not been your dad’s fire extinguisher.

TO BE CONTINUED

[a-wayne-at-heart-too]

Ask: The 27th of April, the Last (and Long) Part

Bonus Ask:

[Stately Wayne Manor]

Jason: *helping Alfred clear out the dinner table* You think we should’ve asked Harley to stay for dinner? 

Alfred: If you wished to see Master Bruce’s hair turn to grey as you ate dessert, I don’t see why not.

Jason: *burps loudly and fans his breath away* Whoops. Sorry, Alf. Just my way of complimenting your cooking.

Alfred: *carrying the dishes to the kitchen* Then perhaps you should come here more often, Master Jason.

Jason: *following Alfred* I'd rather not cause any trouble.

Alfred: *stops in his tracks and turns to face Jason with a stern expression* And you don't think it troubles me that you feel unwelcome here?

Jason: *takes the dishes from Alfred’s hands, sets them on the kitchen island, and pulls him in for a hug* Alf, hey... I didn’t mean it like that. I know you guys care about me, it’s just...

Alfred: *sobbing into Jason's shirt* We've already lost you once... Once is enough, Jason...

Jason: *tightens the hug and gently plants a kiss on top of Alfred’s head* I know, I know... I'm back, Alf. I'm back.

>>> *** <<<

Dick and Barbara: *sitting on the carpeted floor in the study, enjoying the heat from the fireplace in front of them, going through a stack of photo albums*

Dick: *smiling fondly* Wow, these are old-old.... I should probably scan them before they crumble to pieces.

Dick: *stops at a page and points at a picture of Bruce and Jason on a boat, smiling, and holding up a tuna* Check this out, Babs... Aw, I love this one. I had a few days off from work, decided to spend it here. Somehow Jason convinced Bruce to take break from himself and go fishing.  

Dick: *talking animatedly* So, there we are on Bruce’s huge fishing boat, the Bat-2-Sea -- And Jason’s starting to get seasick because he’s been hanging out by the edge, waiting for a bite for hours -- The persistence on that kid! --  And he finally gets one! A big one, Babs -- *spreads his arms* -- and it was pulling down hard like you wouldn’t believe, but Jason just wouldn’t let go! -- So Bruce drops the glass of wine he’s holding and runs to grab him --

Barbara: What were you doing?

Dick: Who do you think took the picture? As I was saying -- Bruce, he -- he -- *starts to laugh so hard that he tears up* trips over Jason’s line somehow and falls into the ocean! *slapping-the-floor laughing* The World’s Greatest Detective, in his Batwaders, drenched like a wet bird... *sighs happily* You should’ve seen his face!

Barbara: *turns the page* Oh, I can see it now. Still stone-faced, but wet.

Barbara: *stops at a page and giggles* Aw... Will you look at that?

Dick: *looks at the photo Babs is pointing at and chuckles softly* That’s adorable. 

Barbara: Those scaly leotards fit him better than they ever did you, Boy Wonder.

Dick: *smirks* Whatever. But I have to admit, he did look great. He looked really... happy. I wish... I wish I saw more of him in action, you know? *voice breaking* I could’ve maybe trained him the way I did Tim and Damian --

Barbara: *rubs his back comfortingly* Dick...

Jason: *walks into the study* Dickie, I took some of your --

Dick: *clears his throat and wipes his eyes haphazardly* Hey, Little Wing!

Jason: Wait, are those our old family photos?

Barbara: *pats the empty spot beside her* C'mere.

Jason: *sits down and rubs his hands together* Where’s the one where Bruce goes kersplat in the ocean?

Jason: *flips through the pages and grimaces at his photos as Robin* You're not gonna use these to blackmail me, are you?

>>> *** <<<

Duke: *watches as his RPG character explodes for the fifth time in a row and shakes his head* You beat me again! You're so good at this game, man.

Jason: *snorts and puts his controller down* Dude, you weren't even trying. If I didn't know better, I'd say you were letting me win.

Duke: What? Naaaah... That's... Come on, why would I do that?

Jason: *gets up and shrugs, grinning knowingly* I dunno... 'Cause you like seeing me alive?

Duke: Yeah. It’s pretty awesome, actually.

Jason: *offers to bump fists* I gotta pack up. Good game, though. See you around, bro.

Duke: *exploding-fist-bumps with Jason* You too, bro.

Jason: *pats Ace the Bathound’s head as he exits the game room*

>>> *** <<<

Steph: *examining Jason’s face* You look really pale.

Cass: *pointing at various spots on his face* And you have a lot of... scars.

Jason: *sitting on a stool in front of Cass’s vanity dresser, staring at himself in the mirror and absentmindedly running a finger over the shirt-covered scar on his chest* Yeah? That bad, huh?

Steph: *grins* Nothing a little makeup can’t fix.

Jason: *rubbing his chin* You think so? I mean, I just came here to borrow a few weapons from Cass, but if you think I need a makeover...

Steph and Cass: *look at each other and squeal in delight*

>>> *** <<<

Tim: And this *holding up a minuscule gadget between his fingers for Jason to see* generates a force field over your entire body. The more the impact, the greater the energy generated. Schway, huh?

Jason: *nodding his head appreciatively as he takes the gadget and sticks it on the lapel of his leather jacket* Schway.

Tim: *proudly shows Jason a Bat-shaped breastplate * Now, this -- You're gonna love this -- It can turn you invisible to the naked eye for roughly 34.5 seconds, giving you time to do all kinds of offensive or defensive stuff. They won’t know what hit them, Jay. You’re basically gonna be invincible and Joker... Joker, he’s... he’s not... not gonna... *drops the breastplate unceremoniously* 

Jason: *places a hand on Tim’s shoulder* Thank you, Timbo. Really. But I'll be fine out there. You don't have to worry about me.

Tim: Yeah? Can you promise me that? Because I don’t think I can live through another one of Bruce's meltdowns.

Jason: *chuckles softly* Aren't they the best?

>>> *** <<<

Jason: *staring at an empty grave layered with concrete in the backyard*

Jason: *rolls his eyes* I know you're there.

Bruce: *comes out of the shadows and stands next to Jason*

Jason: Why'd you keep it?

Bruce: Because I'm a sentimental old fool.

Jason: This is just... creepy. Even for you.

Bruce and Jason: *stare at the empty grave in silence*

Jason: I've forgiven you.

Bruce: *glances at Jason, who could’ve sworn his adoptive father’s eyes were bloodshot* 

Jason: You know that, don’t you? I mean, I know we’re always going to disagree about Jok-- about him, and a few other things, but... You’ll always be family, Bruce. My family. 

Bruce: *looks at Jason, smiling wearily*

Jason: *grinning back at Bruce*

Bruce: *puts an arm around Jason’s shoulder* Thank you... Son.

Jason: *pulls Bruce in for a tight hug*

Bruce and Jason: ... 

Jason: Hey, remember that time you went kersplat in the ocean?

>>> *** <<<

Damian: *knocks softly on Jason's bedroom door* Todd.

Jason: *stuffing a duffel bag with clothes, homemade snacks, and weapons* Hey, kid, come in. I’m just getting my stuff ready --

Damian: These came from Mother. *drops a pile of books on Jason’s old desk*

Jason: *picking one after the other up excitedly* Tolstoy, Machiavelli, Sun Tzu, Shakespeare, Marx... No way... 

Damian: They’ve been with me for a while. But since you rarely come over, they’ve been collecting dust and taking up valuable space in my room. -Tt-

Jason: *wiping the dust off with his shirt and hugging each one* She kept them... These were my friends back when I was in the League... 

Damian: I didn’t realize we had more in common than just being my Father’s sons.

Jason: Wow. I have no idea how I’m supposed to bring all of these home. I mean, I got here on roller blades, for Bat’s sake -- 

Damian: *thrusts a piece of paper into Jason’s chest* This is for you.

Jason: *gingerly uncrumples it, revealing a painting of him and Damian*

Jason: *reading the writing in calligraphy underneath* “The Second Chance Robins”... *looks at Damian, feeling the tears well up in his eyes* You made this?

Damian: *looking down at his feet* When it’s my day... M-my d-day... Will you come over, too?

Jason: *gets down on bended knee to be at eye level with his little brother* Hey, buddy, look at me. Damian, look at me. Of course. Listen, we’ll do whatever you want. We’ll, um... We’ll take bad guys down together! Pull pranks on Tim! You name it, I got you.

Damian: Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Todd.

Jason: I promise that I’ll do my best, okay?

Damian: You could stay the night, you know. You’re home anyway.

Jason: *ruffles Damian’s hair and grins* I'd like that. As long as you hang out here with me. And I promise I won't tell anybody because it'll ruin our reputation.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

If truth be told, @wingedskyes​ , Jason makes himself available on his Death Day. Because even if neither he nor his family and friends mention it, he knows that they need him just as much as he needs them.

Thank you for this Ask. It was both fun and just a tad bit heartbreaking to write. 

And thank you, @warrior-of-the-blue-moon​ , for the nice addition. 

See: Part 1, Part 2

[goldandbluesmiles]

Another Lovely Family

Summary: The Batfam get interesting visitors from another reality.

Ao3  This is part of my batfam Flufftober 2020

Note: I have no idea what this is. It just kinda spiraled out of control. But I hope you guys still like it.

Sorry for Barbara fans, she's kinda not here. I couldn't really find a way to put her in here.

Also, the Chinese folk creatures mentioned were the fox spirit aka the nine-tailed fox. They are depicted as being both a good omen or bad omen depending on the literature. The second one was a Huan Cat. Its pelt was said to contain medicine for certain illnesses and some believed they scared away bad luck.

Their patrol had been peaceful that night, and the whole family ended it in the cave, laughing and joking as they stripped out of their suits and weapons. Bruce was watching over them with his ever stoic gaze but Tim could spot the small smile on his face.

So, that was exactly when everything went to shit.

There was a sudden rumble that shook the cave, making everyone reach for the nearest support. A blinding flash and then a portal-like circle appeared at the top of the cave. Through it fell...Tim didn't know how to really describe the really spikey creature.

And then another larger creature fell through.

They were both scaly and covered in patches of clothing. They seemed to have some humanoid feature but they seemed to be a little twisted. There were horns in their heads, wings at their backs and Tim could tell that the little one's irises were silted, like a reptile's eyes.

Tim pulled out his staff, beside him Jason clicked off the safety of his gun, everyone around the cave also took up their weapons.

The bigger one didn't seem to be moving but the smaller, about four feet tall, started to flap its wings and dart around, making a whining and screeching sound but stayed close to the bigger body.

Dick tried to get closer but the little thing lashed out and cut his cheek. Jason instantly straightened his gun but Cassandra moved in front of them.

"Stop!" she ordered

Everyone stopped, even the little creature, though it kept up its whining and chattering, slowly flapping its wings.

"Cass what is it?" asked Bruce

"Damian," she said

It surprised them, but Tim noticed that the little creature stilled at the name.

Cass turned toward the small thing, holding her and up and moving slowly. The little thing slowly backed away but seemed to be calm.

"Damian," said Cass again

The small thing tilted its head to the side, as if curious.

"Your name," said Cass, "Damian,"

After a moment, the creature nodded and chattered softly.

"You understand me?" asked Cassandra

It nodded again.

"Cassandra," said Damian, "What are you-"

"Look," she said softly, "Look close,"

Tim followed her instructions and closely looked at the face of the little thing. At a closer peek, their features were more clear, the green eyes, high cheekbones, and dark hair- It was eerily similar to their Damian's.

"You know," said Stephanie, "I can kinda see it,"

Cassandra nodded and turned back to the other Damian.

"We have Damian too," said Cassandra, "We call you D, Okay?"

The other Damian waited a few moments and then nodded.

"Good," said Cass, and she pointed at the bigger body, "Family?"

D nodded again, this time chattering in what Tim thought might be distress.

"We help," said Cass, "Okay. Turn them over to see,"

D nodded one again.

Dick and Steph stepped forward to help her flip the person gently. Unlike D, the features of this one were more clearer.

"Talia," whispered Bruce

Tim had to agree. Long hair, the same lips, same structure under swirls of silver that matched her son. The horns were bigger and straighter than D's and her hands had claw-like nails but the resemblance to their world's Talia was there.

"Mother?" Cass asked D

D nodded vigorously and chattered, pointing at Talia's side.

"Hurt?" asked Cass

D once again pointed at the same place.

"Can we check?" asked Cass

Once she got affirmative, Cass gently moved the cloth there. Their skin was bare at the back and stomach area but there seemed to be some scale-like things covering the sides. The scales were twisted in one area, almost pushed into the skin, and covered in silvery goo.

"Blood?" asked Cass

D nodded.

"We need to figure out a way to help and I don't think we can do it alone," said Bruce, watching as Cass talked some more with D, "I certainly don't want to try in case we make it worse,"

"So?" asked Jason, "We could reach out to some allies but who would know about something like this?"

'Well," said Bruce, "I don't like the man, but Constantine has travelled to other realities, we could get a few trusted biologists in here to take look. We could call Zatanna and Manhunter to see if they can establish a line of communication with the child,"

"The child?" asked Damian

"Yes, Damian," said Bruce, "From his behaviour and the comparison to the fully grown mother, it is obvious that he is a child. Though I'm not sure about the 'he' part. They don't seem to be human,"

"Anyway," continued Bruce, "Make those calls. I'm going to go explain this to Alfred,"

xxx

"So what is this?" asked Dick

Constantine glance from the Talia on the table to little D sitting with Cassandra at the end of the bed.

"I've never seen anything like this before, mate," said Constantine, "But there are worlds out there where some of us normals humans are metas. I mean there was one where you were born under the sea. There are some realities where humans evolved differently. I dunno mate, I've never seen anything like it and since the little one isn't talking, can't know for sure,"

"And from the looks of it, the scales have gone into her skin, a stark contrast to the other scales that are standing and parallel to her body. I'm sure they need to be pulled out but I don't know how to do that since I can't know how her anatomy works or even which organ is which. Not to mention I don't know how to verify if she's coding or not. Right now, the only indication that she's alive is that her stomach seems to be moving up and down and there is air coming out of her nose indicating breathing,"

"We could put her in a magical coma," said Zatanna, "It would slow everything down, including any wound she has. It's is our best bet,"

D was listening to them and let out a soft chatter.

Cassandra turned to him, "Okay,"

He looked at Zatanna for a long moment and then nodded.

"Okay," said Zatanna, "Here goes,"

xxx

Once the spell was done, D came to sit by his mother and curled up on her good side. He stayed like that for the next several hours, ignoring any of Cass's attempts to interact with him.

Watching him made something in Jason's heart, reminded him of the many times he had curled up against his own mom, until the day he had woken up to the feel of her cold dead body.

Ignoring that train of thought, he focused on another issue from his alley days.

"He's been here almost twelve hours, right?" he asked Bruce, "He should have been given something to eat by now,"

"When we checked Talia, we noticed that her teeth resembled a carnivore's," said Bruce, "I asked Alfred to get some meat options, cooked and raw. But he's also making a vegetarian meal, just in case,"

"Good," said Jason, still watching the little one, "He's so small,"

"I know," said Bruce, "And we have no idea how to get them home,"

"Have you been able to get the Martians here yet?" asked Jason

"No. They're still not available and Zatanna couldn't do anything,"

"And that also only works if Damian knows how to get back. The only reason our Damian is this resourceful is that he was trained by the league. Who knows how this little guy was trained to what tech they have on their side,"

"I know it's a lot of variables," said Bruce, "But we have to take it one step at a time. First food,"

"Right," said Jason, going back to gazing at D.

Bruce stopped looking at the reports he was going through and turned toward Jason.

"Jay, are you alright?"

Jason startled.

"Yeah. Yeah. Just...you know. Reminded me of...yeah,"

Bruce glanced at D and nodded in understanding.

"Why don't you bring him the food down in a little bit?"

"Me?" asked Jason, pointing at himself, "Is that a good idea?"

"Why not?" said Bruce, standing up and gathering his papers, "You're good with kids and you're good with food,"

"But..."

"Come on, Jay," said Bruce, "It'll give Cass a break and you can explain to the little one about the different options,"

"If you're sure," said Jason

"Of course I am, Jay," said Bruce, "I'm gonna go check on our Damian,"

"Okay,"

xxx

Half an hour later, Jason came downstairs holding a tray. Cass looked at him and smiled, vacating her seat beside Talia's bed. She kissed his cheek before making her way up the stairs.

Jason sat down and put the tray on a nearby table.

"Hey, D," said Jason softly.

Damian stayed turned away from him but Jason saw his wing twitch.

"So, it's a little afternoon now, which mean that you should probably eat something,"

Another twitch.

"Now, I don't know how much you need to eat or what you even like but we guessed a bit and I have some things here that you can choose from,"

Damian didn't have any response this time.

"You know your mother doesn't need food right now, because of the magical coma. But she needs you. They say people in comas, especially magical comas, can still feel and hear the people around them. How are you supposed to be here for her if you don't eat, huh? Maybe just a little?"

There were a few moments of silence, but then Damian turned around. His eyes seemed tired and hurt and made Jason's heartache.

"We have a few options. Vege's, cooked beef, pork and chicken. Same thing but raw too. Which one would you like,"

D pointed to the cooked meats, specifically at the beef. Jason handed him the plate and he started eating it as finger food, leaving the utensils behind on the tray. It reminded Jason of how some League members would eat.

There were a few minutes of silence and suddenly Jason had no idea why Bruce had sent him down, Dick was much better at these things.

Then he spotted a book sitting on his desk.

A little Princess.

"Hey," said Jason, "You know my dad would read to me whenever I was sick or injured and sometimes just because. Do you mind if I read something to you and your mother,"

D looked up and tilted his head sideways, a gesture they had come realize meant he was curious.

"Just a second," he said, getting up to get the book.

Jason came back and sat down, opening the book to its first page.

"Alright, Kiddo," said Jason, "Let's tell you the story of Sara Crewe,"

xxx

When Dick made his way down to the cave, it was with a tray of tea for Jason, a tradition that Alfred had brought to the family. D was still curled up against his mother and Jason seemed to be reading him Little Women. A copy of A Little Princess was sitting close by.

"Hey," whispered Dick as he came down, sitting the tray on a table, "How's it going,"

Damian chattered softly and Jason smiled, "D and I have been discussing characters,"

Dick smiled, "That's great guys. I brought you tea, Jay,"

"Thanks," said Jason, "I'll drink and read,"

Dick nodded and turned toward D.

"Hey, so I love listening to Jason too. Do you mind if I sit with you?"

D looked at him for a moment but the scooted a little, making his intention obvious. Carefully Dick sat himself down on the bed. the beds were big enough but Dick was still careful as to not touch Talia.

D seemed to have no such reservations and leaned against Dick's side. Jason raised his eyebrows at the action but kept reading. Eventually, soft snores started to emit from the little one and Dick looked over to see his eyes closed.

"I think he's asleep," whispered Dick

Jason nodded and closed the book, putting it away.

"Poor guy," murmured Dick, "In a world so different from his own,"

"Yeah," said Jason, "Seems to like you though,"

Dick smiled, "He didn't seem to hate you either, Jay,"

"Yeah," murmured Jason, "Do you think he has his own versions of us too. I mean the way he looks, his dad is probably their version of Bruce Wayne, right? Think the man adopted a slue of kids over there too,"

"I dunno," said Dick, "Maybe,"

Just the, D let out a small snort and twitched his wings.

"He's kinda adorable isn't he?" said Jason

"Yeah," said Dick, gently smoothing down D's hair, "I just hope we can get him home. And help his mom,"

"How's Dames taking it?" asked Jason

"He's alright but I know something's bugging him," said Dick, "But he seems more concerned about something regarding this little one than about any threat to him or to the family so that's some progress I guess,"

"Definitely progress," said Jason and then frowned, "What's the concern though?"

"No idea," said Dick, "Maybe he's just showing the inherent kid mentality, ya know, worrying about other small people,"

Jason snorted, "Yeah. Maybe,"

xxx

Half the bats ended up staying back from the patrol that day. Neither Jason nor Cass wanted to leave their guest and Tim stayed with them. D had been given dinner and seemed content to lay with his mom. Seeing this, Cass and Jason had taken to the sparring mats and Tim had started his work on the latest security update of the cave.

Tim was deep into it when he felt someone approach him. He turned to find D curiosity looking at the screen.

"Hey, Kiddo," said Tim, "Need something?"

D chattered and pointed at the screen, head tilted to the side.

"You want to know what I'm doing?" asked Tim

D chattered and nodded.

"Well," said Tim, "I'm trying to make our home safer for us. See these, here? This is the pattern for silent arms but Jason broke through them the other day just to prove a point to Bruce so now we're updating them. It usually ends up being my job but I don't mind. I like helping to keep my family safe,"

D started chattering excitedly, pointing at the screen, then at Tim and then at his wings. It took his doing it a few times for Tim to understand what he was trying to say.

"Are you saying that you have a Timothy too? And that he makes your home safe?"

D nodded with a huge smile on his face, excitedly flapping his wings.

"So you do have your own versions of us. Dick and Jason were wondering if your dad had adopted more kids too,"

D got quiet at that and Tim had no problem recognizing the sad and faraway look in his eyes.

"You must really miss them," he said softly

D chattered softly and nodded with his eyes down.

"I wish we could find a way to get you back. But there is nothing to read from the energy that brought you here and we can't really know anything until you tell us where exactly you're from. And we need the Martians for that. They'll be here tomorrow,"

D started chattering really fast after that, his wings flapping to the point where he was lifting off the ground.

"Hey. Hey," said Tim, "What's wrong? I'm sorry if I upset-"

D's chattering just got louder.

"I'm sorry," whispered Tim, "I'm sorry but I can't understand you,"

D let out a huff and landed back down, stomping his way back to the little corner they had set up for him and Talia. They had tried to get him upstairs but he had refused to leave his mother's side so Alfred and Jason had set up a temporary residence in a corner, separated by curtains.

"What happened?" asked Jason, running up to him, Cass right behind him.

"I dunno," murmured Tim, "We talked about his siblings and then I was saying how we were waiting on the Martians and he just got worked up and started to say something. I couldn't understand him,"

They looked over to D, who was still visible due to the curtains not being closed. He was sitting on the floor, gently rocking back and forth, almost in a trance.

"I'm gonna-" started Jason

Cassandra stopped him with a hand on his arm.

"No," she said, "Leave him,"

Trusting her judgement, Jason nodded and turned back toward Tim.

"I'm sure it was nothing. He's probably just getting a little frustrated you know. His mom's asleep, he's in another reality and no one here can understand him,"

"Yeah, I guess," said Tim, "I just wish there was more we could do,"

"Me too," murmured Cass, "Me too,"

xxx

It was the second day of their guests being in the cave that the Martians landed outside of it.

J'onn and M'gann came early in the morning and were introduced to D. Stephanie thought she saw recognition in his eyes.

"Hello, little one," said J'onn, kneeling in front of D, "I would like permission to from a mind link with you. I will not try to look into your memories, but I would like to understand what you are thinking and then translate your thoughts to our hosts here. Do you understand?"

D nodded and smiled up at J'onn, gently patting him on the cheek.

"Alright then," said J'onn, "Let's get started,"

J'onn locked eyes with D and they started to glow. Both him and D went oddly still, an odd sight that Stephanie had gotten used to when it came to the Marians' mind link.

Only a few moments into the link, D started to squirm, moving his hands and twitching his wings.

J'onn visibly stopped and looked down at D, "Is there something wrong, little one?"

D balled his hands into fists and shook his head, obviously trying to get them to stop. It didn't seem to help and the switching of his wings only got worse.

Beside her, Duke leaned in, "Does that look like what I think it looks like?"

"Maybe," murmured Stephanie, analyzing D's movements and thinking back to what Tim and Cass had said about his mannerism, "I think so,"

"Should I-"

Stephanie nodded, "Doesn't hurt to try,"

Bruce was just about to step up when Duke stood up.

"I have an idea," said Duke, "I'll be right with you,"

Duke jogged over to the cabinets and pulled out a couple of things and brought them over. He and Stephanie then explained them to D.

"See this," said Stephanie, holding op a plush penguin, "His name is Mr. Flappy. We sometimes hold him when we want to do something stressful. Would you like to hold him?"

D touched the soft toy and then nodded. Stephanie gave him the toy and he squeezed it, cooing in delight when it squeaked.

Duke smiled, "This is a weighted blanket. You can wrap this around yourself while J'onn makes a link,"

"And D," said Stephanie, "You don't have to be still, okay?"

D looked down at his feet but nodded. Stephanie took it as a win.

"Good," said Duke, "We're just gonna go over there,"

Both him and Stephanie turned back to go to their original spot and as they did, Stephanie spotted a proud smile on Bruce's face.

'Good job' mouthed Bruce.

Stephnie grinned and beside her, Duke did a thumbs up.

This time when J'onn tried to establish the mind link, D seemed noticeably calmer, rocking back and forth while wrapped in the blanket and holding the toy close.

"So, child," said J'onn, "Show me what happened,"

D closed his eyes and J'onn started to narrate.

"You were being chased and your mother tried to get both of you away. but she was- she was hurt, is that it? Yes, she was hurt so she miscalculated. I see. Do you know how we could get you home without waking your mother up?"

"Ah," said J'onn and opened his eyes.

"What?" asked Bruce

"Well," said J'onn, "It seems that D here believes that his family will find him. That's what he trying to tell young Timothy yesterday,"

"There's a difference between his family being to able to track him and him believing that they'll come for him," said Bruce

D let out an unholy screech at that, obviously offended.

"I think you pissed him off, B,"

Bruce turned to D, "I'm sorry, Kiddo. But we need to know,"

"May I?" M'gann asked D.

He scrutinized her for a minute but then nodded his consent.

M'gann started a mind link and began to ask her own questions.

"How are they going to find you?"

A few moments and then-

"Ah, I see," said M'gann, "According to D here, there are five people in the family that can travel through realities, including his mother. The others are his father, his brothers Jason and Richard and his sister Cassandra. They will most likely split into four groups. His Father and Aunt Kate. Jason and his outlaws. Richard, Selina and Timothy. Cassandra, Stephanie and his last brother, Duke. Alfred will be taking care of his baby sister Helena,"

"How do they track you, D?" asked Tim

"Hmm," said M'gann, "According to him, they have a link and can signal each other but D's is weak since he's young and his mon has to be conscious to send one. His family will look into other realities around and then make their way here. Apparently, they already have a system in place for if something like this happens,"

And then she snorted, "Something about his father being a bit paranoid,"

There were a few chuckles around the room while Bruce glowered at all of them.

"Anyway," said M'gann, "All that can be done here is that you take care of him and keep him safe,"

"Who was chasing you?" asked Jason

D frowned and looked around the cave, his gaze landed on the wall of blades and he pointed to ap articular one.

"That's my league blade," said Damian, and Stephanie noticed him stiffen, almost involuntarily.

Something was up with the kid.

"Were you being chased by Ra's?" asked Bruce

Damian nodded.

"I'm assuming he can't travel thought realities," said Bruce, "And no one in his loyal circle can either,"

D pointed to M'gann and she once again began the mind link.

"Hmm," she said, "No, Ra's can't travel. Interesting. It seems that the species in their reality are a bit different than most. Only D's kind and magic users can travel through realities and even then a very small percentage of those groups. Ra's and his followers are not included in this category. And even if he could find someone to do his bidding, it would be near impossible for them to find him since there is no link,"

"So only his family can track him," said Tim, "That's why Talia got them out of there. She was hurt and took the risk,"

"Brave of her," murmured Selina

D also chattered sadly.

Dick smiled and kneeled in from of him, "I'm sure your family will come soon, Kiddo,"

"Who do you think will get here first?" asked Tim

D tilted his head and then pointed at Jason.

"Jason, huh," said Duke, "Makes sense if you ask me,"

D giggled and leaned into Dick, a bit of the day's tension draining out of him.

"I have to leave now," said J'onn, "But M'gann will stay in case you need another mind link. Is that alright, D?"

D smiled and nodded, waving a small, clawed hand at M'gann.

J'onn smiled, "Lovely then,"

xxx

After lunch, Damian was sitting in his room and reading when someone knocked on his door.

"Come inside," he called out

It was Richard at the door.

"Hey Dames," he said, "Whatcha doing?"

Damian scooted over to make room for the man on his bed.

"Just a book," said Damian

"Hmm," said Richard, "You know, I've noticed that you haven't sent any time with our guest,"

"I'm not required to," he said shortly

"No," said Richard, "Of course not. But I'm just wondering if you're alright?"

"I'm fine," said Damian

"Dames-"

"I'm fine, Richard. I am not missing my mother. I am not worried about threats. I am not feeling sad. Or anything else your mind is coming up with right now. I am fine,"

"Okay," said Dick, giving his head a gently kiss, "Let me know if that changes, okay?"

"Fine," said Damian

Dick gave him another smiled and then left. Damian sighed and slumped down, not knowing how to explain to anyone what his actual worry was about.

Maybe he should spend more time with the other Damian. He could certainly alleviate some of his concerns this way.

Making up his mind, he grabbed some of his art supplies and made his way down to the cave. There, he found M'gann and Cassandra sitting and conversing with each other while D played with the plush toy Stephanie and Duke had given him.

Once the girls saw him, they both left while begging Alfred's cookies.

Damian sat down with D who looked at him curiously.

"I like drawing and painting," said Damian, "Do you mind if I draw you. I've never met someone with your features before. I think it would be interesting,"

D titled his head and then pointed at some of his paper followed by his fluid acrylics.

"You want to paint?" asked Damian

D nodded and looked at him with pleading eyes. Damian couldn't help the smile that came over his face.

"Alright, you paint. I'll draw you,"

He opened the paints for D and then went to grab a brush but noticed that the other boy had started painting with his claws.

"Well," Damian murmured, "That's one way to do it,"

Damian took his time sketching D, making sure he got all the details right. By the time he was done, a few hours had passed and it was almost time for dinner.

When he was finished, D showed him his painting and Damian had to say, he was impressed. And that was no easy feat.

While Damian had been drawing him in detail, D had used that paints to sketch out a few rough paintings. It wouldn't have worked usually but the material of D's claws had probably made it easier.

The first one was of Damian, showing him with his head down and bowed over a book. Next were three faces, One of D's mother, the other one obviously his father and a third that looked like Jason. He also had another painting of six figures flying in the distance. Another one that looked like a dragon from folklore.

"These are beautiful," said Damian, "Do you all live together? Your mother and father and your siblings?"

D nodded and Damian sighed in relief. A part of him had been afraid that Talia was taking D away from his family and that his father and siblings would cause a fight, hurting D the way Damian himself sometimes hurt.

Except, it didn't seem to be the case.

"That's wonderful," said Damian, "Do you want to see mine?"

D nodded and took the sketch, instantly squealing happily. His wings started flapping and he did a swoop around the cave, chattering happily as he clutched the drawing.

"You really like it, huh?"

D smiled and nodded.

"Well, you can keep it," said Damian, "As long as you let me draw another one that I can keep too,"

D nodded enthusiastically, smiling down at the sketch.

"Would you like to see more of mine?" asked Damian

D let out another whoop.

Damian grinned, "I'll take that as a yes,"

xxx

Bruce climbed down the stairs with Dick to get both Damian and D for dinner. They were hoping to coax their guest out of the cave to eat.

Once they got there, Bruce was surprised to find that both boys were sitting down and excitedly chattering. It didn't matter that Damian couldn't understand D, they still seemed to be able to communicate effectively, flipping through Damian's sketches that were kept down in the cave.

"Oh, hello Father. Richard," said Damian, as they came into view

D smiled and saved shyly.

"Boys," said Bruce, "We were just here for dinner,"

Damian turned to D, "Would you like to come upstairs this time?"

D shook his head and cast a glance at his mother, his eyes going dull and sad again.

Bruce frowned until an idea came to him.

"Dick," he said, "Tell Alfred we have a change of plans,"

And that was how they all ended up having dinner in the cave, picnic style.

After dinner D showed them sketches of his family. Everybody smiled and complimented as M'gann translated for D.

"Yes, apparently Jason is the scariest one of them but very sweet. Richard can do other most tricks in the air and Tim likes to fly at night. Cassandra is the fastest though. And Stephanie has the most unique wings because they are purple. And Duke lets him draw on his wings with glitter. Helena can't do much yet, she's just a baby,"

"So," said Jason, "Would you say that your dad is scarier than Jason or less?"

"Ah yes, " said Dick, "Ask the important questions why don't you?"

Jason shoved him before turning back to D, "So?"

M'gann laughed as she listened to whatever D was saying.

"According to D, his father is the pretty one of the family. A real charmer,"

Bruce smiled, "Well, that's not so bad then,"

"Pretty boy, Bruce," teased Stephanie

"Do you have an Alfred too?" asked Tim

D nodded and then picked up the picture of the dragon-like creature and held it up for everyone to see.

"He has silver features and this his 'other' form,"

"His other form is a dragon?" asked Jason

M'gann got a surprised look on her face, "Everyone in his reality has another form, which shows through their features. His family is what we call dragon, they pronounce it draagn. There are only a few of those around. Most of the populations are made of magic users and animal-shifters. Some other forms are sea creatures,"

"Wait!" said Duke suddenly, "I have an idea,"

He pulled out his phone and started to look for something. When he found it he held it out for everyone to see. Bruce scanned it and see that it was list of mythological creatures.

"Are any of these the 'other forms'?"

D nodded, pointing at a Nyad, a phoenix, a griffin, a pegasus, a jinn and even a chimera and some Chinese folk animals like the nine-tailed fox and the one-eyed cat with three tails.

"Wow," said Tim, "Could it be that our realities brushed each other and a lot of out folk animals are really just people and creatures from other realities,"

"Maybe," said Dick, "Some might have even gotten stuck here, hence the myths and stories,"

Everyone got quiet for a moment, trying to comprehend what this, if true, meant for their realities' history.

Eventually, Bruce decided to break the silence.

"I think it's time for bed for some people, especially if we're taking a break from patrol," said Bruce, sending a meaningful look to his two youngest sons. They had promised to him sleep earlier this week.

He also noticed that D slumped down a bit and felt bad.

"You can come up too," Bruce told him

D shook his head and chattered softly, casting his gaze toward his mother.

"I can just sleep down here," said Damian

Bruce wondered if his kids would ever stop surprising him.

"Yeah!" said Dick, "Why don't we all just stay down here tonight?"

"Well," said Alfred, "These old bones are not made for this cave. However, you all can stay here if you prepare proper bedding,"

"I'll take care of it, Alfie," said Bruce

"Alright then," said Alfred, "I'll be heading up,"

Bruce waved to him and then turned toward his children.

"Alright, Jason and Tim bedding, Stephanie, M'gann and Cass pillows, Duke and Dick blankest ad everyone's plushes, Damian and D, you can set things up as they bring them downstairs,"

His kids nodded and scattered to get everything done.

Once everyone was sitting down, still quite awake, Bruce decided on a long proved tactic.

"Anyone want me to read anything?" asked Bruce

"I'm fine with whatever," said Jason

A few more murmured os assent followed. D raised on os his hands and chattered softly.

"D's wondering if you would finish the book Jason was reading to him yesterday,"

"Little Women," said Jason, "It's still on the table and put the bookmark in,"

Bruce smiled, "Little Women it is,"

xxx

Bruce was barely starting to stir awake when the cave rumbled in a familiar way and there was a flash of light.

He sat upright just in time for five figures to appear in the cave. D had also spotted them and was flapping his wings and flying among them. The figure at the head finally took his in their arms, gently hugging him close.

It seemed like D had been right after all. The figure could be no other than Jason Todd. And he was terrifying.

Twisted horns, double claws, slit eyes and big stature, all came to together to make a nightmarish figure. The way he was talking to his little brother negated the effect though.

Behind him stood what seemed to be his team. Kori and Bizzaro looked the same as they did in their universe while Artemis seemed to have a greyish tint to her skin and Roy had spirals of what seemed like fire all around his arms and legs.

"Huh," said Dick, "D was right,"

"Seems so," murmured Tim

Their guests finally seemed to be done with their greetings and the other Jason turned toward Talia's body and frowned. Tim instantly stepped up to explain.

"We had to-"

"A magical come," said Jason, voice a bit jarring and shocking

Tim instantly stopped and stared at him wide-eyed.

Jason turned back and frowned again.

"What?"

"Well- uh- I wasn't um-expecting to- well"

That was when Bruce decided to step in, "Sorry. What my son is trying to say is that we weren't expecting you to speak since D didn't. That's what we've been calling him,"

"And you're kinda terrifying," Tim rushed out

The other Jason let out a laugh, "Why, thank you. Also, we do talk, D is just nonverbal,"

Ah, that certainly explain ed some of the behaviour that they had just put to being anxious and different from them.

There was another rumble and bodies started to flash into the cave, the whole other family appearing altogether.

"Damian," called out one of them, separating themselves from the hoard.

It was the other Bruce Wayne

"Holy shit," muttered his Jason

Holy shit indeed.

Pretty did not begin to describe the other's appearance. He was wearing a tank top with pants that seemed to be painted, leaving little to the imagination. Slim with toned muscles, shimmery wings, sparkly blue slit irises and shimmery black swirls reaching for his cheekbones, the man was a thing to behold. His hair was waist length and had been braided loosely. His scales shone in the light of the cave and his claws seemed to be made of dense glittery obsidian and his horns were gold and black.

Once D was done with this father, he flew over to the rest of his family and the other Bruce turned toward them.

"Hi," he said softly

Bruce stepped up and held out his hand, "Lovely to meet you,"

Other Bruce gave him a bright smiled and shook his hand.

If Bruce was a lesser man, he would have been at the start of an inferiority complex at the moment.

Instead, he gestured at Talia.

"We have her in a magical coma," he told him

"I can see that," said other Bruce, "We'll take her back with us and take care of her once we get home,"

"So you're together?" asked Damian, "D, that's what we call other me, said you all lived together. Is that true?"

It struck Bruce then, the reason for Damian's odd behaviour. He thought D would be separated from his mother the way he had been separated from his. By the way some of his other children were shifting, they had realized it too.

The other Bruce merely smiled though, "Ah, yes. We are married. Just celebrated our fifteenth anniversary,"

"And who's Helena?" asked Tim, "We didn't recognize that name,"

"Oh she's mine and Selina's," he said, vaguely gesturing behind him, "Sel wanted a baby so I helped her out. We agreed that she would be raised as part of the family though she keeps her mother's name,"

"Ah," said Tim

A child half him and half Selina. While part of him was curious, another didn't want to know the outcome of that.

D came up to his father and said something softly.

"Anyway," said other Bruce, "Thank you for taking care of my family but we should be going now,"

"Of course," said Bruce

The other one went to get Talia and the rest of the family came up to thank them. Dick practically hugged all fo them, Tim was solemn and Cassandra kissed all their cheeks. Stephanie and Duke went around giving them fist bumps and high fives while Selina and Kate merely said a few words each.

"You have an Alfed too, right?" said Selina, "D wanted us to meet him too,"

And because Alfred was magic, he chose that moment to step out of the elevator.

The other family surrounded him, profusely thanking him or also taking care of their family members. Alfred, to his great credit, took it all in stride and responded accordingly.

Right before they were about to leave, D leaned up into Jason's ear and whispered something quietly.

Both Bruce and Jason turned back and knelt. Jason took out a block of what seemed like glass and blew into it until it was shipped into their bat symbol. Bruce made a gesture with his hands and there was a liquid sloshing in the glass replica.

They handed it to D and the little one ran over to hand it to them.

"He says it's a present," said M'gann, "The people in their reality bend metal. Some more than one. Some metals are bent by more than one kind but Mercury is bent by the draagn exclusively,"

"But isn't mercury poisonous to us?" said Tim

"Not that one," said Bruce, "You can take some out from the stopper at the bottom and test it but I believe you are fine to keep it, Think of it as a token of our thanks. Mercury is special to us or as we normally call it, Quicksilver,"

"Alright," said Bruce, "Thank you,"

The other family disappeared in a flash of light and all they were left with was an odd decor piece and a couple of sketches.

The glass bat symbol ended up sitting right in front of the huge penny.

xxx

In the evening right before patrol, Bruce found Damian standing in front of the bat and watching the liquid quicksilver slosh around as if it had a mind its own. Some kind of magic, surely.

"Father," murmured Damian

"Damian," answered Bruce

"They were a lovely family," said the young boy

"They were,"

A moment and then-

"We have a lovely family too," said Damian, "Even if I wish some things were different,"

"We do have a lovely family," said Bruce, kneeling down in front of his son, "But you are also allowed to wonder how things could have been different,"

"I miss her sometimes," said Damian, "I know she wasn't really fit to raise a child, not after everything grandfather put her through and certainly not without getting help first but she is my mother and I miss her sometimes,"

"I know," whispered Bruce, "Come here,"

Bruce tugged Damian close, enveloping him in his arms.

"I love you, baby,"

"I love you too, Father,"

[marvinswriting]

heatwave

Prompt: no prompt, just stay hydrated bbys.  this is me projecting the fear from the first time i passed out onto Janis, ft my dumb thought process of 'im fine'. Yes, that's right. I too, refuse to ask for help when I need it. Not just Janis. whoops. G/T MEAN GIRLS AU

The tiny portion of the school doesn't have AC. Which to be honest shouldn't be legal, but a lot of things at Northshore shouldn't be legal. No proper heating or cooling was the least of the tiny's issues. 

When it's too cold, you wear a jacket. (Or skip and stay with Damian). When it's too hot, the tiny teachers bring in electric fans for their classrooms. Besides, the tinies only have like- four periods in the walls. 

But it does become an issue during a heatwave.

It was almost 100 degrees in Northshore. There was no wind so the air felt stale and dry. Now imagine being in a wall.

I think I'm being cooked alive. The baggy jacket I live in probably doesn't help much though.

It was global, my last tiny class of the day. Aaron and I had advanced global together while Regina had normal global in the room next door. 

I slumped in my chair not listening to the teacher at all. 

Aaron and I sat together in the front of the room and the only pro to that was the fan was right there. 

Not that it did much.

It was old and moved slow. It wasn't cooling anyone, just circulating the hot air. 

I finished my water bottle three periods ago and I still had a headache. It wasn't awful, just annoying. 

I tried to ignore the little spots in the corner of my eyes every time I moved my head.

Just a small headache. 

Suddenly, the breeze disappears.

The fucking fan died.

"Oh, dear." My teacher says.

She a short old lady with circle glasses on the bridge of her nose.

"Oh, dear is an understatement," I mumble to Aaron who just shakes his head.

Our teacher tries to turn on the fan, but there's no sign of life. She even unplugs the wire and tries again.

"I guess it's fried." She says with a small laugh.

"So are we!" Some kid calls from the back of the class. I think its Glen Coco but I don't have enough energy to turn around and check as the rest of the class laughs.

Our teacher smiles warmly. "We've got ten minutes left in the period. Go hang out in the tiny cafeteria or something." 

The tiny cafeteria is one of the few places in the school with AC for tinies. Which is nice because it's bearly bigger than a classroom, but they expect to fit all of us in it. It gets crowded and hot even with air conditioning.

Our teacher continues. "Just get somewhere cool. And drink water!"

Water sounded nice. I should have brought more than one bottle. I knew it'd be hot today. 

Aaron ad I pack up our bags before standing. The world spins a bit but it feels just like my typical low iron issue. 

The spots fade just like normal when I stand up too quickly and Aaron and I are off. 

We pull Regina out of her class early saying 'it's for a class project'. The teacher didn't ask what class so we didn't specify.

"So," Regina says. "How did you guys get out of class?"

"Our teacher let us," Aaron explains as we walk through the halls. We're in the very back of the tiny section, furthest away from the tiny pick up zone. "Her fan died."

"No!" Regina said with genuine concern.

"Yeah, but she didn't make us stay long," I explained. My throat was dry and my voice sounded weird, but neither friends paid mind to it.  

I tried to ignore the way the hallways spun. My limbs felt slow and heavy despite how fast I walked to keep up with Aaron and Regina. 

"Let's stop and grab food at the cafeteria. I'm starving and we have time." Regina said grabbing both Aaron and I's wrists and dragging us in the opposite direction from the air conditions hallways.

No!

Food was the last thing I wanted right now. Just the thought of it made me sick. I wanted water, not salty cheese fries. 

I watched the ground as we walked. The hallways were empty but Regina stopped us to look at one of the message boards.

"Janis, the theater performance is next week?"

"Yeah," I say without looking up. The world spun each time I moved my head. "Damian's got lead."

"Of course he does." Regina said. 

She and Aaron continued talking but I didn't contribute to the conversation. 

I guess I need water more then I realized.

The spots in my eyes covered my whole vision. 

It went from a small headache to the end of the world real fast.

I couldn't tell if my eyes were opened or closed. It was all a grey swarm.

"I think I'm gonna pass out." I whispered.

Aaron and Regina didn't pay any mind.

"Guys." I spoke louder.

Was I even audible? No matter how loud I tried to speak it never came out in more than a mumble.

My legs felt heavy and weak at the same time. Like my knees would give at any second. 

"Guys." I repeat myself. 

I can't even hear Aaron and Regina talking over the buzz in my ear. My head felt heavy and I could feel every time it tipped in the slightest. 

My vision was totally replaced by spots and I couldn't see anything.

My throat was so dry it felt like it was closing as I tried to speak.

I need water. Fuck. I need water.

-

"....anis."

I could see it again, but my brain wasn't processing. Aaron was in front of me. His mouth was moving but I don't know what he's saying.

I'm on the floor leaning against someone. 

It's too hot for that.

I try and sit up but arms wrap around me, pulling me back down. I don't fight it as spots appear in my vision again.

A water bottle is handed to me. 

I bring it to my lips without question. 

My brain still isn't working.

The person behind me is slipping my jacket off my arms. I try and fight it.

My jacket is like my comfort blanket. I can't take it off. I can't-

"Janis, please."

Regina.

It was Regina. 

I place the empty water bottle next to me and let my jacket get stripped off.

I never drink a full water bottle in one sitting.

Yet I still felt thirsty.

"You okay?" Aaron asks as I push myself out of Regina's lap. "You passed out for a second. You just crumpled. We were worried. You-"

"Aaron," Regina says sternly. "For god's sake she just passed out, let her breath."

"You need more water?" Aaron asked.

"Yeah." I say softly. 

"I'll go swing by the cafeteria," Aaron says getting his bag and standing up.

"Look," Regina joked as Aaron turned the corner. "You broke him."

"Sorry."

"Don't be sorry," Regina says turning me so we're both leaning against the wall. "It's hot as fuck out. I'm not surprised it happened. You just get a little nervous when your friend just drops to the ground."

I nod. The ringing in my head had gone away but my mouth still felt dry. Regina held my jacket folded over her arms.

"You fell into me when you passed out." Regina laughed. "Almost took me down with you."

My face flushed with embarrassment. "Whoops."

There were footsteps as Aaron can back. "I bought three, I figured we all need water."

"Thanks, man." I say reaching into my bag to grab my wallet.

"No. No, it's fine." Aaron said pushing my hand away from my bag and tossing both Regina and I a bottle.

"You sure?" Regina asked.

"Yeah." Aaron nods. "Feel better Janis?"

I nod, slipping the water. It was ice cold and made me feel a lot better. I still felt nauseous and a bit dizzy, but not like I would pass out. "I don't think I trust myself to get up yet," I say, leaning against the wall.

"You'd feel better in the AC." Regina points out. 

I nod but make no effort to get up. Regina reaches over and presses her cold waterbottle against my forehead. 

"If I catch you wearing a jacket in a heatwave again you can catch my hands." She says, but she doesn't sound very threatening.

Aaron hums an agreement as the bell rings. 

Students walk past us but nobody pays us much mind. Everyone wants to get to ac as soon as possible.

"We need to call Damian" Regina says.

"Or- oh I dunno....her mom" Aaron says, glaring up at Regina.

"Yeah we can do that too, but how the fuck is Janis gonna get home? Walk?"

"We should call her mom first. I know I'd wanna know if my kid passed out."

"You have a kid?" I laugh.

"This is a hypothetical situation," Aaron says.

"But this-" Regina points to me. "-isnt hypothtical. If Karen or Gretchen passed out, I'd wanna fucking know. They're my giants."

"Guys," I groan, looking up to the ceiling. "We can do both. Regina, you know my phone password, don't call my mom because she's at work but text her."

Aaron and Regina glare at each other momentarily without moving. I clear my throat and Regina breaks her gaze to reach for my phone. Aaron picks up his phone and begins dialing. 

I can't hear the other line but it doesn't take long for Aaron to start talking.

"Hey, Damian. You think you can meet us at the tiny pick up? Regina, Janis, and I. Janis needs a ride home." He paused. "Yeah, she's fine now...she passed out- wait no- Damian she's fine. It wasn't like- No, dude. She-"

Regina and I laugh as Aaron tried to explain what happened.

"She just fell, she's fine now- no- shes oka- Damian!"

"Poor Aaron." Regina chuckled.

"Damian, Aaron rolled his eyes. "Do you want to talk to her?"

I lower my hand from my mouth where I was trying to hide my laughter as Aaron passed the phone.

"Janis?!"

"Hey, dude." I can't help but laugh. The panic Aaron had when I first passed out seemed tenfold from Damian over the line. "I'm tits, man. Just overheated a bit."

"Were you wearing your jacket?"

"I was."

"Janis!"

"Not anymore, I'm not!"

There's hushed speaking on the other line. "Cady says it's stupid of you."

"Tell Cady she's stupid."

"That would be a lie." Aaron points out. He can't hear Damian, he just decided his input was necessary. It wasn't.

"Met us at the pick-up zone, okay?" Damian asks.

"Yeah," I say. "Love you."

"Love you too."

The line clicks and I pass the phone back to Aaron. Regina is still texting on mine so I stand up to look ever her shoulder. My mom seems a lot more chill about it then Damian was. I told her not to wear a jacket. I don't even think she needs to leave school but just send her home and we can talk later. Glad she's okay.

"What does everyone have against my jacket?"

"It's hot as fuck, Janis." Regina deadpans.

Aaron takes my bag from me. "Let's go."

"I can carry my bag-" I try to protest.

"Nu-uh. Aaron, you hand Janis her bag back and I'll push you off the platform." Regina interrupts me.

I finish off my water as Aaron chuckles. "What's with you and pushing people from high places, Gina?" 

Regina shrugged, my jacket still in her arms. "It's fun. Besides, you think one of us would really get hurt? With the people we're friends with?"

"True." I point out. 

As we get closer to the tiny exist I can feel the ac already. Damian and Cady are already at the platform, Damian looking incredibly stressed. I throw up jazz hands the second he sees me. 

"I'm all good!"

"Getting calls like that never fail to scare me," Damian says with a worried smile. "Glad you're okay." 

Aaron hands me my bag and Regina draped my jacket over my shoulders as I walk over to Damian. 

The first thing he does is lift the jacket off of me and glare at Regina who laughs, raising her hands in defense. 

Damian scoops me up, letting me fall backward into his hand. I don't even bother to sit up as he pulls his hand close to his chest. The ceiling lights were bright, but I'd rather see that then grey spots.

"I'm gonna get this reckless girl home."

I can head Aaron and Regina faintly say goodbye over Cady's bye.

I prop myself up on my forearms as Damian begins walking. "What are we gonna do with you, Janis?" He asks.

I shrug forgetting he can't see. "I'm tired."

"Wouldn't be surprised silly."

He gets us both checked out at the office. Tinies passing out during a heatwave isn't an uncommon occurrence and I'm not even the first today. They don't question it and let us leave. 

I already feel a lot better by the time Damian makes it to his car. Mom was right and I definitely could have stayed in school. But hey, an excuse for nap time is an excuse for nap time. Especially during a heatwave when I can lay in my bedroom with a fucking ac.

Fun fact, the first time I passed out I was at an airplane show during a heatwave. The blacktop made everything hotter than normal and it was like 110 degrees. I- like Janis, almost pulled my friend down with me. I don't remember half the shit after I passed out bc my brain was like- viewing everything but not processing it. What I do remember is downing three water bottles on the spot and being like- Holy Shit. Bc, i cant even drink half a water bottle in one sitting. TAGS! @realmisspolarbear @musicallygt @smallsoysauce @sourishlemons

[prettylittlebrownskingyal]

I hv this college AU in my head where all the bat kids (of age so i guess no Damian) are in uni and meet/hang with the teen titans and young justice bunch Wally snd Dick do sports together, Steph and Duke judge from afar while fooling around with board games. Jason and Victor Stone play beer pong idk i fuck with it

Note: you know, I was just gonna say YES, I LOVE THIS and then my dumbass brain went, “Write a thing. Write a thing. Write it hoe.” so here’s 1.5k of utter madness.

Warnings: Alcohol consumption. Lot’s of it.

He may not remember how he made it back into his bed, with only one shoe, no socks and glitter in his hair. But he definitely remembers how it all started.

The break begins with Dick banging on his door at the ass crack of dawn, a disgruntled Tim in tow and a bellini in hand.

“Carpe diem, baby bro.”

They fumble their way through making breakfast, keeping Alfred on facetime even with all the swearing and cursing and dropped utensils. Damian pops across the screen from time to time to whine about being bored at home and mock their collective incompetence.

It’s a huge spread; they’re cooking for mostly college athletes, after all. Dick goes around forcing extra bits of bacon and pancakes and fruit onto the freshman’s plates. Bart and Jaime dig in earnestly, but Tim takes an extra dose of coaxing because he’s too stubborn for his own good. Dick persists though, roping in a sagely Steph to remind Tim that he’ll probably be the first one to pass out anyways.

“Hey. Hey! No assignments at the table, today’s about getting wasted.”

Raven flips Wally the bird, slapping her laptop closed and leaning over to slip it back into Kory’s tote.

“Do something productive,” Garfield says. “Take this and knock it back. Show us who’s boss.”

She leers at the offered beer with disinterest. “It’s not even 10 yet.”

“Exactly, daylight’s burning.”

“I seriously doubt our only goal today is to just get wasted.” Duke’s worried voice draws the attention of all the seniors. They exchange amused glances over his head.

“You poor, innocent little bean,” Zatanna says, throwing her arms around him. “You’re in a frat house full of NCAA athletes and scholastic decathlon nerds who don’t get the chance to drink for most of the semester. Today is absolutely about getting wasted.”

***

He’s somewhere between buzzed and tipsy. Happy in the warmth of the sun.

It’s the first time in a while that he’s felt the tension of school slip away from his shoulders. His assignments are done, his family and friends are all around him and he’s having the time of his life watching Cass mix extra vodka into the already triple spiked rum punch. It’s both disgusting and delicious. And judging from the way Kon’s draped himself over Tim in a nearby lawn chair, it acts fast.

Barrelling straight towards blackout drunk for no other reason than the glory of college is an utterly fascinating idea and Jason finds it hilarious how willing most of them are to participate.

Dick’s already been amped up to giggly and incoherent. He and Wally are hunched over a phone, snickering at something Jason hopes is just the front camera opened up to their stupid faces.

“Here you go, buddy.” Roy’s voice grabs his attention as he passes over a plastic-wrapped sandwich to him. “You good?”

It’s the third time he’s asked for the day. Despite the fact that Jason is kinda wasted, he knows that Roy’s probably a little uncomfortable being around most of the people he loves, watching them get hammered while he’s stone cold sober.

“Yeah. You?” he asks through a bite of tuna on whole wheat.

“Peachy. Wanna go let Steph and Babs crush our asses at poker?”

****

“Can we go get fro-yo?”

Tim’s voice is soft and buttery, the way it gets when he’s shit-faced. Jason can hear Kon murmuring in agreement and Duke’s firm denial over the base of a Rihanna song. They’re a mess of gangly legs, draped over each other on the lumpy couch. He’s so caught up in watching they way their alcohol-induced affection is driving Duke up a wall that he misses Raven taking her turn.

He groans as the ball lands in a red solo cup. Kory grins wildly, hooking her chin over Raven’s shoulder; their both wearing looks of smug victory and he just knows he’s going to have the worst hangover tomorrow as he plucks another half-filled cup between his fingers, forcibly gulping down the amber liquid it holds. Vic slides over for his turn. He throws the ball and lets out a hiss as it misses the cup in the middle of the table, completely. Garth gives Jason a sympathetic head shake as he steps up to throw back the beer.

“It’s not fucking fair. How are you both star football players, bro? You guys suck at this.”

Vic laughs, pointing a finger at him. “I’m letting that slide because you’re the one throwing back my drinks for me.”

“Hey,” Raven intones. “It could be worse, Kory wanted to do this with tequila.”

“I’m actually hoping to leave college with my liver intact. Please, and thank you.”

Steph’s laughter, bubbly and sharp, cuts over the music. “Remember in freshman year when you got high and asked me how likely it was you’d survive a liver transplant?”

“You’re in med school, I thought you would know!”

She still laughing at him when she turns back to the complicated game of jenga she and Cass have had going for the past hour. He’s way too mellow to even begin to understand it, but he strongly suspects Cass is cheating.

***

Somewhere along the lines of beer pong and pizza Artemis Crock and Cissie King-Jones, the ace co-captains of the archery team, talk Duke and Tim into doing shots. He watches for a good ten minutes before he’s suckered right in alongside them. When Tim does inevitably pass out, Kaldur— who’s sober and very amused— lugs him off to bed.

That’s right along his memory get’s fuzzy. He knows there was dancing. He remembers being tugged along by Kory, yelling Beyoncé lyrics at the top of his lungs as he’s sandwiched between his siblings and his friends.

There are flickers of Kyler Rayner doing body shots and double dog dares with Mia Dearden and Connor Hawke. He has a video on his phone of Bart doing a keg stand while Wally looks on with a mixture of horror and pride plastered across his face. There’s a whole album of Dick trying to pet a stray cat, his nose red and the pictures getting blurrier and blurrier as his allergies set in.

After that, he thinks it was suggested that they all go outside to watch the sunrise. Someone— one of the redheads — had placed a steadying hand on his back as he swayed from foot to foot. He’s pretty sure he confessed his undying love to them.

****

When he does wake up, it’s because his head feels ready to fall off his shoulders and his mouth tastes like ass. The whole house stinks of sweat and the floors are sticky with spilt drinks. He bumps into Kon in the hallway, they exchange withering stares and a fist bump before parting ways.

He finds everyone in the kitchen— with the exception of Roy, whose a chipper bastard— in a similar state of dissonance with their bodies. Dick’s got his head in Kory’s lap and his feet in Wally’s. Tim sits across the table from them, staring at a glass of water like it personally offended him and Steph’s on the floor to the left of him, forehead pressed to the fridge. She has glitter in her hair too.

“Mornin’ sunshine,” Roy laughs. “You look like shit warmed over.”

“Thanks, man.” He spares him a glance, “Did you put me to bed last night?”

“I did,” Kory answers, her voice rough like gravel.

“Thanks, dude. Where’d my shoe go?”

“Dunno. Found you without it, I think.”

In the living room, Jaime’s lying face down on the couch with a pillow over his head, Bart keeps shuffling over to check his pulse and then back to the kitchen to gulp down water. Roy feeds them all toast and grins when a fresh-faced Cass breezes in through the doors. She plops a bottle of Advil onto the table gently and then sweeps away to watch the ensuing chaos.

“Me. First.” Tim growls, snatching it out of Dick’s hands.

Steph rouses herself then, looking around the room bleary-eyed. She clocks Jason and his head full of glitter, raising one hand to twist her fingers through her blonde locks, and then her other one to point at him like, “Hey, same.”

Donna drags herself in a little bit later. She immediately flings herself into a chair and drops her head down onto the table with a clunk that surely worsened her hangover headache. Vic and Kaldur, fairing better than the rest of them, snort through their breakfast as Roy peels off his sweatshirt to place it under her head.

He finds his shoe floating in the tub of quadruple rum-punch when their cleaning that evening. Garfield laughs so hard at him for a good ten minutes before clutching his skull and dropping down onto the porch steps, weakly.

At a quarter to four, Duke walks down the steps wearing the face of a man who knows nothing but utter betrayal.

“I’m letting you all know,” he calls. “I am not doing this again next year. I feel like death and I wanna call Alfred and cry.”

“Aw, Duke,” Dick coos. “Same.”

[redrobinfection]

Coffee, Coffee Everywhere, Pt 20

<< Part 19

This is the “conclusion” to the Coffee, Coffee Everywhere series (for real, this time, but stick around for the epilogue and an announcement about future additions to the ‘verse next week). Thank you to everyone who has read, liked, reblogged any part of the series!!!

~*~

Jason strode into the kitchen, looking to snag some breakfast before he passed out for a few hours, and stopped when he saw Tim at the table in the breakfast nook, nursing something in Bruce's infamous mega mug.

"Hey, there Timbo, what'cha got? Already falling off the wagon?"

Tim turned his bleary, dark-shadowed eyes up at him and instantly Jason knew that whatever was in that mug, it was definitely not coffee, decaf or otherwise. "It's tea. Herbal tea. Mint," he responded tersely. He looked about five seconds away from falling asleep on the spot.

"I'm thinking about making myself some chocolate chip pancakes; you want some? You look like you could use the sugar."

To his surprise, Tim shook his head vehemently. "No. Can't have chocolate. Has caffeine in it."

"Oh yeah, that's right. What about blueberry? Blueberry sound good?" Jason backpedaled quickly, feeling bad for the thoughtless suggestion.

Tim hummed and took a long draw of his mint tea. "Yeah, that'd be nice. Thanks, Jay," he replied drowsily, the words echoing strangely in the mug.

"So, uh, how much longer before you'll start letting yourself have small amounts of caffeine again, Timbo?" he asked, attempting casual conversation as a means to keep the kid conscious.

Tim set down the mug and sagged back, immediately sliding low into the seat. "It's been what… two weeks now? So... at least another six."

"Ouch. Two months total?" he asked incredulously as he assembled the ingredients for pancakes, scrambled eggs and fruit. He'd been planning to ask Tim to slice the fruit, but at this point he didn't feel confident Tim wouldn't accidentally slice a finger off or stab himself in his current state.

"Yeah. At least two months," Tim answered, his words trailing off into a large yawn. He finally gave up on keeping himself upright in the chair and plonked his head down on the table instead, arms hanging limply underneath.

"What is this I hear about you going back to caffeine, Drake?" Damian demanded loudly as he walked through the kitchen door. Dick filed in behind him. They had a full house at the manor this morning, so it wouldn’t be long before nearly the entire Batclan filled the large kitchen.

"Not f'r anudder six weeks, Dami'n," Tim mumbled into the wood, not even bothering to turn his head.

"Good," Damian replied haughtily. "Otherwise my threat to keep you away from caffeine at the pain of stabbing still stands."

"No one is stabbing anyone," Bruce sighed as he stepped into the kitchen a moment later. Tim raised his head at the sound of B's voice, blinking rapidly at the newcomers as they abruptly filled the kitchen with noise and movement.

"You're cooking this morning, Jason?" Bruce asked, raising an eyebrow as he stepped up beside the stove.

"Yeah. I ran into Alfie and asked if it'd be okay. He said it was fine by him. That fine by you?" he asked lightly, keeping his attention fixed on the pancake mix he was assembling from scratch. He tried not to let the tension of being questioned show in his posture. B gave a low grunt of assent and patted Jason lightly on the shoulder before moving off towards the fridge. Jason let out a low sigh of relief. That was about as cordial as things got between them these days, but things were better than they had been; it was a start.

"So what are we having," Dick asked as he poured an obscene amount of Crocky Crunch into a salad bowl. Alfred would have a conniption when he came downstairs and saw that.

"We are having blueberry pancakes, scrambled eggs, and fruit. I dunno what you're having, you cereal-obsessed monster," Jason replied, giving Dick plenty of side-eye as he stirred the wet ingredients into the batter.

He laughed out loud and ambled over to grab the milk from Bruce. "Don't worry, I'll have plenty of room left over for your pancakes, Little Wing."

"You'd better go easy on the pancakes, Grayson. We wouldn't want your posterior to become anymore pronounced or noticeable than it already is. It is already something of an exposure risk at this point," Damian deadpanned smoothly. All motion in the kitchen stopped and every set of eyes turned to stare at him.

"Was that…? Was that a butt joke? From you? Am I awake? Did I hear that right?" Tim asked in awe, scrubbing at his eyes, which were finally fully open, and open wide, at that.

"Damian…" Bruce began in a growl, but Dick laughed and steered him over to the table.

"I'll keep that in mind, Dames," he responded amiably, rolling his eyes at the displeased expression on B's face. "Drink your milk and let him be, Bruce. Do you know how long I've been working to teach Damian to have a sense of humor?"

"Hey, Damian, could you help me slice the fruit?" Jason asked, tearing the youngest's attention away from the table and whatever argument he planned to start over his supposed 'sufficient' sense of humor. Damian nodded and turned to begin washing the fruit off in the sink.

Jason glanced back toward the table and considered what a strange thing it was to not see a single drop of coffee anywhere. Bruce had apparently taken to drinking milk or tea or juice whenever Tim was around, partially as a show of solidarity but also to reduce the burden of temptation, or so he had said. Jason shook his head in wonder. To think Bruce of all people would - or could - give up coffee, at least partially, to help one of them.

Actually, he mused, almost everyone was doing something support Tim's decision to lay off the caffeine for a while; Bruce giving up coffee in the mornings, Alfred providing alternative drink and food, Cass sharing her herbal tea, Dick checking in on him during patrols, Damian stealing all the coffee out of his safehouses and bugging the pantries to deter him from sneaking into the locked-down coffee beans. Okay, that last one was a little messed up, but so was Damian, so in a own way it was kind of touching how far he had gone to keep Tim away from the coffee.

Jason himself made a point to check in with him now and then to make sure he kept up eating well even without all his "coffee creations" to keep him motivated and to make sure he didn't try stay out on patrol or stay up working too much later than the rest of them. With varying success, of course.

Steph and Cass entered the kitchen next, both making a beeline for the tea and coffee section of the counter. Cass went right to work heating up water in the electric kettle and pulling the green tea out of the cabinet while Steph pulled a sachet of something for herself from her pocket.

"The fruit has been sufficiently sliced, Todd. How else may I be of assistance?" Damian asked, rinsing and wiping down the knife briskly.

"Awesome," Jason replied distractedly, briefly glancing over the meticulously cut fruit and nodding approval. "Uhhh… could you take the bowl over and then start setting the table?"

"You need some help, Dames?" Stephanie asked brightly, turning away from the hot water kettle holding a steaming mug. Cass also turned and nodded toward him to offer her aid.

Damian grimaced at the nickname, but continued in an even tone. "If you would set out the plates, Brown, and if you would set out napkins, Cassandra, then I will follow with the cutlery." They nodded assent, and wandered over to set their mugs down at the table; Steph set hers down at the seat next to Tim, Cass set hers across from them, and then they both turned to their tasks.

A few seconds later a loud moan disrupted the bustling tranquility that had fallen over the kitchen. He turned along with everyone else to see Tim leaning away from Steph's mug dramatically, eyeing the steaming mug as if it held a poisonous snake. His face paled and he swallowed convulsively.

"Tim…?"

"Steph, what did I tell you last week?" Tim croaked unhappily, pushing back his chair and sliding over into another seat unsteadily.

Everyone's eyes whipped over to Stephanie, who rolled hers. "Jeez, stop being such a drama queen. Do you remember what I told you? I don't care if you've ruined coffee for yourself; I need my morning fix, I'm going to have my morning fix, and if you're around when I make it, then you're just gonna have to deal with it."

Tim clamped a hand his mouth as he stared, transfixed, at the mug and shook his head. She sighed. "Besides, it's not going to jump out and bite you, or worse, jump down your throat. You're a big, strong Red Robin, I know you can handle a little temptation here and there."

Damian made a sound like an angry cat and stalked over to her. "Brown, I swear upon my blade, if you ruin our efforts to break Drake of his appalling hab-"

"It's not temptation," Tim cut in loudly, standing up and starting to back away from the table slowly. From where Jason was standing, he looked a tad green around the gills. "It's the smell."

They each frowned. "The smell?" Dick parroted in confusion.

Tim grimaced. "Ever since the time I… yeah… the smell of coffee is just…" he trailed off, waving his hand suggestively.

Steph snorted and sauntered over to the table, snatching up her mug. "So, what? You're trying to tell us that ever since your stunt with the mac n' cheese you can't stand the smell of coffee?"

Tim glared and nodded. Steph laughed out loud. "So are you avoiding coffee because you're avoiding caffeine or because the smell makes you wanna hurl?"

Tim's glare darkened. "Both," he snapped, darting forward to grab his tea, then slowly treading in a wide arc around Steph toward the door to the rest of the manor. "I'm serious about breaking my caffeine addiction, but believe me, right now there is nothing tempting about the smell of coffee to me whatsoever."

Steph grinned wickedly. "Are you sure? I mean you put on a convincing act, but how do we know you're not sneaking off to brew a triple espresso in some secret hiding spot right this minute, huh?"

If Tim could have simultaneously set someone on fire and frozen their soul to the core with a single look, Steph would have shattered into a thousands smoldering frozen bits on the spot.

"You sure you're not tempted to sneak a sip?" she teased, darting in close and wafting the mug in his face. Tim literally gagged and dashed for the sink, leaving Steph and the rest of the family gaping in shock as he actually, real life, coughed up his tea into the sink.

Jason couldn't believe it. Trying to imagine a Tim Drake who has an aversion to coffee was like trying to imagine a Dick Grayson who suddenly one day announces he hates cereal. Impossible, or so they thought.

Before Steph, or anyone else for that matter, could recover from the shock, Damian shot forward, grabbed the mug from her slack grip, opened a door to the veranda and hurled the mug as far out onto the lawn as he could. Everyone stared. Steph blinked once then stormed out onto the veranda.

"You brat! My coffee!!!" she shrieked. "And I liked that mug!" She whirled on Damian. He crossed his arms and glared up at her darkly.

"That is what you deserve, not only for sneaking contraband into this house while a ban of the substance - a ban we all agreed upon for the sake of one of our team - is in effect, but for also being such a jerk to Drake when he is so clearly struggling to do better."

Steph stared and shook her head. "Since when do you of all people care if someone is being a jerk to Tim? I thought that was your life's calling, Demon Brat."

"-Tt-" Damian walked back into the kitchen. Steph trailed behind. Dick and Cass had since jumped up to check on Tim and were gently coaxing him back to the table with reassuring words and gentle touches. Jason vaguely registered a burning smell before he realized with a start that he'd been so caught up in the drama that he'd forgotten about the pancakes currently on the stove.

As he cursed and threw them into the waste bin, Damian replied dryly, "I'm tired of having to explain to various people that, yes, 'Fat-girl', I do care what happens to the members of this family, our team, and, in this particular instance, Drake. I've been one of Drake's most adamant supporters. Imagine how much less pathetic and useless Drake would be if he let himself sleep now and then instead of running around Gotham like some kind of coffee-fueled zombie, instead of sticking his exhaustion-clumsy fingers into cases and situations he would be better off leaving to Father and I. Imagine if he only offered his assistance when needed, instead of trying to be everywhere and do everything all at once."

Jason shook his head slowly as he poured out a new set of pancakes. "And here, just when I was thinking the bat brat might have finally grown a heart…"

Dick nodded and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Yeah, well, at least it's an improvement over them trying to kill each other. Can you imagine him admitting that there are situations in which Tim's 'assistance' would be 'needed' three years ago? Let's count this as progress and move on."

Jason cut off Damian's indignant growl with a wave. "Hey, Dames, come over here and help me get the eggs going. Cass, can you take care of plates? And you," he stopped and glared pointedly at Steph, "go apologize to Tim. That was a dick thing to do, and you know if I'm the one telling you that then…"

Steph rolled her eyes, but threw her hands up in surrender. "Okay, I get it, 'Alfie Jr'. Keep your eyes on the pancakes."

"I should think such an appellation would be an esteemed honor, Master Jason," Alfred intoned smoothly as he stepped into the kitchen, eyes twinkling with amusement. Jason caught his eye and grinned. Knowing Alfie, he'd probably listened to entire conversation from outside the door before choosing the most opportune moment to make his entrance. Or he'd tapped into the network of bugs that Jason was convinced Alfie hid from everyone, including B - the man had been a spy after all.

"Sure is, Alfie. I think I'll get that engraved on a plaque and hung on the wall of my kitchen, you know?"

Alfred nodded with a quiet smile, then turned toward the table. "Miss Stephanie, once you've finished apologizing to Master Tim, would you be so kind as to set out water glasses for everyone. I think it's high time we sat down to enjoy the breakfast Master Jason has so graciously prepared for us."

Steph nodded contritely and murmured another quiet 'sorry' to Tim before turning to cabinets. Alfred turned his hawkish gaze upon the table's remaining occupants, namely Bruce, Dick, Cass, and Tim.

"Was that a mug I saw someone throw into the rose garden? I don't suppose if I take a stroll down there after breakfast I'll find it crushing one of the roses the groundskeepers and I have worked so hard to maintain?"

Several wild glances passed between them, and across the kitchen Damian paled, then murmured a stumbling excuse along the lines of “need toilet" and skittered away from the stove. Jason shook his head but took over the eggs. Steph stifled a laugh and Cass shook her head. Alfred lifted one brow and swept his sharp gaze over the entire kitchen, stilling everyone. No one so much as twitched even as they all clearly saw Damian dart out of a window a few rooms over then streak across the lawn.

Bruce cleared his throat. "N-no, of course not, Alfred." The kitchen broke out in a chorus of 'no's and Alfred nodded his satisfaction.

"Very good."

~*~

Epilogue (Part 21) >>

[davedimartino]

NEW THIS WEEK 12.09.08

Scant weeks before the holidays, here I sit perusing the week's new releases as Boz Scaggs' Silk Degrees plays in the background. Shoes are off, the fire is roaring, and I’m wondering if this will be the best Christmas ever!

While two distinguished record labels celebrate their very existence via exclusive commemorative box sets, top-notch R&B folks like Common, Avant and Musiq Soulchild release their latest works--and exciting rockers Thrice have seen fit to gift us with a three-CD set recorded live at the House Of Blues!  

Did you ever have the feeling that--I don't know--things are just about as good as they're ever going to get?

Of course, that might be "Lido Shuffle" talking instead of me!

  Common: Universal Mind Control (Geffen) Renowned as a truth-talkin' master o' Hip-Hop with a musical base stronger than many of his contemporaries, Grammy-winner Common returns with a solid set featuring production by the Neptunes and Kanye West and a title track that's getting some radio "traction," if you'll pardon the expression! Predictably the man's knack for candor has him taking on his entire record label--Universal of course owns the Geffen imprint--and its alleged sinister use of high frequency hypnotic tones in its corporate headquarters, so God love 'im for spreading the word! Centuries from now, young record collectors will ask "Is this record rare?"and be told, "No, it's Common!"--so buy it today!

 Brandy: Human (Epic) According to a knowledgeable product description, "Human shows a side of Brandy no one has ever seen before"--and between you and me, Human is actually the album title, so it has positive connotations! Her first album for Epic Records, this disc reunites the attractive young singer with producer Rodney Jerkins, who helped propel Never Say Never to the top of the charts, and together they've crafted a marvelous work sure to please Brandy fans worldwide! Speaking as a man with some degree of copy-editing skills, I’m a tad distressed to note that the spelling of Brandy's name is deliberately ambiguous on Human's cover--does it end with a "Y" or an "I"? Sheesh! Additionally, you wouldn't want to see this sort of artwork on display on any planet containing an intergalactic zoo--but luckily we haven't run into one! Yet!

 Maroon 5: Call And Response (Octone) Heck, if I made albums, I'd try my hardest to get something out in the stores every Christmas! Even if I was lying on a lounge chair in Saint-Tropez with a vodka gimlet in one hand and a hot babe in the other! So why not have a "remix album" put together featuring material from your first two albums messed around with by people like Swizz Beatz, Mark Ronson, Questlove, and, I dunno, maybe Pharrell Williams, too, and simply approve it by phone while your masseuse applies suntan lotion on your back?  Not that this is the case with Maroon 5, mind you--they're cool!--but it's fun to think about!

 Avant: Avant (Capitol) Nothing but nice things to say about R&B ballad specialist Avant, who may be best know for his track "Four Minutes," which made what could have been a very dreary list of microwave cooking instructions "sizzle" with excitement! His soulful sounds shines through on opening track "Sensuality" and on the admittedly rap-friendly title "French Pedicure," and a guest appearance by Snoop Dogg on "Attention" will certainly get yours, if you get my drift! That said, while on one hand he spins a convincing tale--one certain to appeal to the ladies--there is a sense that not all of the story is being sung, that in some ways--ways admittedly hard to pinpoint--careful listeners may find Avant guarded!

 Various Artists: Revolutions In Sound: Warner Bros. Records - The First Fifty Years (Warner Bros.) In the same manner that Sony Music's  100 Years: Soundtrack For A Century was impervious to any sort of relevant criticism because of the mass of its scope--to encapsulate the historic recorded work in its massive vaults--this too is simply unabashedly fantastic if you're a record fan. Plus--between you and me--Warners has always seemed like a cooler label! So here's a collection devoted to the history of the label, jam-packed with pictures, info, historic recordings by people like Frank Sinatra, the Everly Brothers, Jimi Hendrix, Paul Simon, and, of course, Disturbed! Available both in a 10-CD "regular" edition and a deluxe edition featuring lots more--a 240-page book and a USB flash drive --this could only be topped by a large corporate conglomerate actually purchasing Warner Music itself!  Some chance, huh?

 Various Artists: Motown: The Complete No. 1's (Motown) When it rains it pours! Here's every No. 1 single to ever appear on the legendary Motown label, packaged up into a 10-CD set and memorably packaged in a replica of Motown's famous "Hitsville U.S.A." building in Detroit! It's conceptually perfect, the music is inarguably great, and its only flaw--if any--is that a stunning number of Motown classics we all love never quite hit the No. 1 spot, so they're not here! But have no fear, the label offers what may be the best American reissue project out there--the Complete Motown Singles series, currently in it's 11th volume and not to be missed. Get 'em all! On a tight budget? Just buy an actual house in Detroit instead!

Thrice: Live At The House Of Blues (Vagrant) Ever hear the expression "Good things come in small packages"? How about "Deaths always come in threes"?  Boy, there's a cliché for everything! Anyway, this long-awaited collection features two CDs and an extra DVD showing the Thrices performing live at the Anaheim House Of Blues earlier this year! Interestingly, by the look of this album's cover, the House Of Blues is also using Red and Yellow lately, too! I think it may be the best album I've ever heard!

 Musiq Soulchild: OnMyRadio (Atlantic) There's a saying that in the most advanced forms of music, the actual spaces between the notes are more important than that notes themselves. Of course, it was my Uncle Larry who said that, and he was a dope! Oddly, though, the very musical Mr. Soulchild has chosen to remove all spaces from not only the words of his new album's title, but between the words of every song title on the album! If I were a critic getting paid by the word, this would seriously bum me out! Anyway, this record's great and features guests like Damian Marley and the awesome Mary J. Blige, and reportedly "blends old-school soul fervor with new-school hip-hop rhythms"! Heck, that sounds good!

 Roy Wood: On The Road Again, Super Active Wizzo (Warner Bros.) Guess we're at the historic turning point where labels are reissuing great records in purly digital form--meaning if you liked either of these albums by the former leader of fab English band the Move, the way to get them in 2008 is via digital download from Amazon, Rhapsody and "other" places! Falling later in Wood's illustrious career, 1979's On The Road Again featuring great pop songs, superb playing and singing, and a guest appearance by Led Zeppelin drummer John Bonham. The earlier album, 1977's Super Active Wizzo, actually makes its US debut here, finally, and is very welcome, though slightly less accessible than Wood's other classic works. Interestingly, Wood's earlier effort Wizzard's Brew is also available digitally via EMI! Buy them all and look at them at your leisure!

 Zombie Strippers: Original Motion Picture Soundtrack (Nine Yards) Last week I had both this album and Britney Spears' Circus in my CD changer! I thought it was long for a single disc!