#I have the music taste of an angsty teenager sometimes | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

petrichor-idyllic · 1 year

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OPEN WOUNDS

Alright, alright, I just know people are gonna get mad at me but I'm having Maze Runner burn out, and the requests I have are throwing me through a loop right now lmao. (Requests are still closed.) So, I thought I'd write something different to get me out of my hole- my own idea. Yeah, I know, Petri writing their own original plot? Mad.

Hope I've got at least one OBX fan in my audience.

MASTERLIST | JJ MASTERLIST

SUMMARY: Fem! Reader x JJ Maybank. Enemies to lovers.

You and JJ have a tense relationship - you always have. But, both of you coming from rough home lives, you've both resorted to the Chateau and John B as your saviour. Neither of you talk about it, but you know more about JJ than you let on. Though, tonight is the night. With John B out with Sarah and JJ's dad out of town, you finally have the Chateau to yourself - until things don't go quite as planned.

WARNINGS: Inappropriate language, themes of physical abuse, generally depressing subject matter, no depiction of actual violence just the aftermath but still trigger warning for abuse. Also some friends references.

Ah.

The sweet relief of silence.

Between yours and JJ's bickering, the constant string of girls flooding through the Chateau, the parties, the drinking and John B's terrible music taste - the Chateau is normally a chaotic bundle of angsty teenagers. But not tonight.

Tonight, John B is on a date, Pope and Kie are at their respective homes, and JJ's father is out of town, resulting in him going home for his own peace. Probably, because he doesn't actually want to be stuck in the house with just you.

But that's fine by you.

You're not really sure why you and JJ hate each other so much. You swear blind that he started it, but he says otherwise. You were childhood friends with Pope, and JJ with John B - so when John B befriended Pope, you both just ended up tagging along. Now, you're a certified Pogue, and you're close with everyone, even Sarah.

Apart from JJ.

John B says you're just too similar to get along, Pope thinks it's because you're both too stubborn, Kie reckons it's because there's some underlying tension you both refuse to admit. But it doesn't really matter why, in your opinion.

And Kie is clearly wrong.

Though, when shit hit the fan at your place and you decided to seek refuge at the Chateau, you kinda sorta forgot that JJ was there for the same reasons.

You've tried, okay? You have tried to get along with him. To make things less awkward, if just for the sake of the other Pogues more than anything else.

But it just doesn't work.

JJ knows how to push your buttons, and no matter how calm and collected you try to be, most of your interactions end in an argument.

But not tonight.

Because he isn't here.

You lay, spawled on the couch, wearing a long worn band tee as a dress as you scroll through your phone, an episode of friends playing on the TV in the background. You think it's the one where Chandler gets handcuffed to a filing cabinet - but you're really not paying attention, nor do you remember the actual name of the episode. You mindlessly dive your hand into the bag of potato chips resting on your stomach, laughing at some TikTok Pope had sent you.

Between work, school, and arguing with a pretty surfer boy, you very rarely get time to actually just chill out and relax. You've not even bothered to get up and turn the lights on, the thin shine of the moonlight and the electronic flicker from the TV being the only things stopping you from walking into something when you eventually stand up.

Not that you intend on standing up anytime soon.

Things are going well. You might even be able to have a shower without JJ thinking he's hilarious and stealing your clothes. Or maybe even listen to music without him blasting his own music even louder.

Life is good, sometimes.

Just as you're smiling to yourself about how good your evening is, the door is violently yanked open and then slammed again, scaring the shit out of you.

"Jesus!" You jump, looking over the back of the sofa, it's too dark to make him out properly, but his trademark red cap and locks of blond escaping his choice of head wear give you a pretty good hint. "Maybank? The hell? Aren't you meant to be at home for once?"

You're too angry that he's interrupted your pleasant evening to realise that he's in clear distress.

"Fuck off, (Y/N)." He spits, leaving you in a state of shock. That's blunt and forward, even for him.

"What-?"

"Leave me alone." He says sharply, going into the spare room where he sleeps and slamming the door.

You sit there in a bubble of confusion for a couple of seconds before huffing and returning to your original position on the couch. "Whatever."

Your peace only lasts a few seconds as you hear a loud crash from inside the room. You sit up, silently, grabbing the remote and turning the TV off to see if you heard that correctly.

There's more crashing and banging as undoubtedly JJ has some kind of rage induced meltdown. That's when your phone buzzes. You open it, reading the message:

Pope

I thought Luke was out of town???

You

Huh???? He is??

Pope

I just saw him???

Went to the corner store and he was smoking outside

You

????

I thought JJ said he was gone for the week??

Pope

Is JJ at the Chateau??

I can't get ahold of him

You

Yeh

Burst in about five minutes ago

Pope

Can you check on him for me

You

Are you fr rn?

Pope:

Pls

You groan, tossing your phone to the side as you stand up. You stop in your tracks when you realise that the noises have stopped. The house is now completely and utterly silent.

Which is somehow more concerning.

"Oi, Maybank, you good?" You half-shout, earning no response as you pick up your phone from the sofa - just in case you have to call John B or Pope in a panic.

You get no respond, slowly walking towards the room. "JJ? Hey - you okay?" You knock on the door.

"Leave me alone." JJ's voice breaks as you hear his voice through the door, and you feel your stomach sink.

You don't particularly like JJ, sure, he's like, the hottest man you've ever seen, and he is genuinely kind of funny sometimes. That doesn't matter; you don't like him.

But you can empathise with him. And he's Pope's friend.

And it doesn't take a genuis to put the dots together about what's happened.

"JJ." You sigh. "I'm coming in."

To your surprise, he doesn't respond, so you slowly push the door open.

The room is a mess, clothes are scattered everywhere, a lamp's broken, the bed sheets are a mess and the pillow is across the room, slumped against a wall. It looks like he's thrown anything he managed to get his hands on. JJ sits on the floor, his knees pulled up to his chest, he stares at the floor, one hand in his messy blond locks, the other resting on his knee, red cap in his hand.

He doesn't look up as you walk in, his hair hiding his face along with the dimly lit room. Silently, you move, walking to sit next to him. You leave enough distance between you to make neither of you uncomfortable.

"I told you to leave me alone." He mumbles, not even looking at you.

You hesitate for a second, sighing.

"...my step dad was an asshole. When things got bad, I'd lose my shit and scream at anyone who got too close, screaming about how I wanted to be on my own. ...But, all I ever really wanted was for someone to push past all that and act like they cared about me."

JJ doesn't move, or even look up, so you keep talking.

"You can hate me, and tease me, and throw shit, and say you hate everyone and this whole shitty island and whatever you want to say to get it out your system - I get it. But I'm not going anywhere. I'm not leaving you, Maybank - so suck it up."

JJ is still silent, but his hand falls from his hair, loosely resting on his knee as he finally looks at you. You look at him out of the corner of your eye, and try not to visibly react.

JJ already has a black eye forming, a cut on his cheek and blood smeared under her nose. There's also blood staining the back of his hand, probably from wiping his nose.

"... you gonna put our petty differences aside for five minutes and let me fix that?" You ask; reacting dramatically or with pity is just going to piss him off even more.

JJ hesitates, but eventually nods, sighing. "Alright... but I don't wanna talk about it."

"I wasn't gonna ask." You stand up, offering him a hand, that he doesn't take, before he brushes past you and out the room.

That's about right.

He sits on the sofa as you get the appropriate means from the first aid box. You walk back to him, looking at him for a second before you step forward and touch his face for him to look up. He immediately flinches, pulling himself away, making you huff.

"Dude, I've gotta touch you if I'm gonna help you." JJ mumbles something you don't quite catch, but he lets you lift his face. You lightly dab under his nose, wiping the blood away before moving to the cut on his cheek.

He hisses as you press an alcohol wipe to his cheek.

"Sorry," you mumble.

"Could've warned me."

"Figured you wouldn't be such a pussy."

JJ simply rolls his eyes at this as you continue to nurse to him. Then you grab some glue strips, pressing down on one side of the cut and pulling the skin up to reach the other, tightly holding the cut together so it leaves less of a scar.

"Why are you helping me?" The question catches you off-guard, making you look him in the eye.

And you suddenly become very aware of how close you are. JJ isn't the goofy kid who always had a tooth missing and dirt on his clothes that you grew up with anymore. He's objectively gorgeous - there's a reason there's a seemingly endless amount of girls in the Chateau when he's around.

His bright ocean blue eyes lock with yours, and for a second, you understand. You understand all of those girls you judged and made fun of for falling for the blond's charm.

I mean look at him. How could they not?

And now is the worst moment to realise that.

You stand between his legs, bodies close, you're only wearing a thin lounge shirt and JJ's hands rest on his open legs, almost like he's fighting the instinct to put them on your waist.

You clear your throat, ripping your eyes away from his hypnotic gaze. He notices the shift, raising his eyebrow as you finally answer his question.

"I think I've already explained that."

He shrugs. "Yeah, I guess, but, like, you don't have to do this. Ain't you meant to hate me?"

"I only hate you because you hated me first."

"I didn't."

"Did too."

"Whatever." He pauses, eyes following your every move as you brush hair out of your face, grabbing his jaw.

"Stop moving."

"It hurts."

"Cope."

You place another gluestrip on his cheek. He opens his mouth to speak, but quickly shuts it again, making you curious. "What?"

"What, what?"

"You were gonna say something." You hook a finger under his chin, angling his face so you can see what you're doing better.

"No, I wasn't."

"Alright, fine - you weren't then."

The silence around you becomes more tense, and then JJ sighs. "I don't- I don't actually hate you."

You pause, looking at him, eyebrows furrowed.

"I mean, you're annoying as shit," he continues, "but... you're the only person that seems to be able to put up with my shit. So... yeah, yanno."

"So... you don't hate me?" You pull your hands away from his face, and he shakes his head, shrugging before running his fingers through his hair.

"No... you help around here - I mean, the Chateau would be trashed if you weren't around, and you help Pope out. And, I mean, he cares about you, for some reason, so you can't be all bad."

You scoff at this. "Yeah, yeah - you'll need some ice for that eye." He rolls his eyes in response as you return to the kitchen, bringing back a bag of frozen peas, which he presses to his eye as you finally sit down.

"It's cold."

"Is it really?"

"Ha ha." He fake laughs. "What were you even doing, anyway?"

"I watching TV and enjoying a peaceful evening."

"Sorry to ruin your evening." He says sarcastically.

"It ain't your fault." You respond, not quite sure where to go from here but you can't quite meet his eye either. It falls quiet again.

"...thank you."

He says it in such a whisper you think you're actually losing your mind at first. "What?"

"I, uh," he rubs his face. "I said thank you. You... you didn't have to do this. The others... When I- when..." He sighs. "Normally, they just leave me to it. They don't get it, they don't understand."

"They don't, not in the way you want them to, but they understand that you're going through something horrible. And they don't wanna make things worse. And you tell them to leave you alone and avoid talking about it - people can't help you if you don't let them, JJ." You say, your voice becoming softer as you finally look at him.

"You managed." He responds, watching you carefully. You don't really want to have this conversation either.

"Yeah, well, I'm stubborn." You joke, earning a snort and him dropping and shaking his head, his hands falling to his lap with the bag of peas.

"Yeah, you can say that again." He pauses. "Mind if I join you with your little marathon? I've got nothing better to do."

"What?" You scoff. "You want to willingly spend time together?"

"Yeah - fuck it, why not? It's been a shitty day, I'm not sure even your annoying-ass could make it worse."

"Ah, well, I'm sure I can find a way." JJ grins at your sarcastic comment, picking up the remote and flicking the TV back on. "Friends? Seriously?"

"What? It's good."

"Ehh, is it, though?"

"Just 'cause you have no taste."

"Rude. Well, what would you rather watch?"

"Uh, Two Guys and A Girl?" You blankly look at him. "You don't know what that is, do you?"

"No-"

"'Course you don't."

"Just 'cause you're a film freak." You sneer.

"Just 'cause you're uncultured." He retorts, then sighs. "It's another nineties sit-com. Only has two seasons."

"That probably means it's bad."

"Shut up. Ryan Reynolds is in it."

"That doesn't mean it's good."

"Uhh, yeah, it does."

You continue your dumb bickering, even though you do ultimately continue watching friends - JJ even laughs at some of the bad jokes. It's... weirdly nice.

You're not sure if it's just because you've become painfully aware that you're attracted to him, or if you guys are just trauma bonding, but it's almost fun.

"Ross is such a dick. Rachel deserves better." You chuckle at his comment, rolling your eyes. Then, after a moment, you speak.

"Oh, Maybank?"

"Yeah?" He responds between mouthfuls of potatoe chips.

"You don't need to thank me."

He pauses, glancing at you. "Yeah, I know - but I still will."

You nod, a small smile on your lips. "Well, you're welcome then."

○□○□○□○□○

"Guys! Guys!" John B rushes out the Chateau the next day as Kie and Pope carry booze and cups for plans of a kegger that evening. "You gotta see this."

"Huh? See what?" Kie blinks at the boy as she climbs out of her car, adjusting the bag she's holding full of paper cups. She'd lectured Pope for trying to buy plastic ones, which had condemned her to having to carry them.

"What are you talking about?" Pope raises an eyebrow.

"Shhh! Keep your voices down!" John B whisper-yells, making them exchange puzzled looks. "Come on. Come on!" He summons them to follow him, in which they shrug at each other as they follow him inside.

"Dude, what's going on?" Pope hisses, his tone low as John B leads them into the living room area.

John B puts a finger to his lips, then points at the couch. Kie and Pope exchange another glance before walking around the sofa.

"Holy-" Kie starts before John B dramatically shushes her again.

On the couch, you and JJ remain. You're not sure when you fell asleep, but you did.

You're both still sat up, your head resting on JJ's shoulder, his arm loosely around yours as his head rests on top of yours. You're almost snuggled into the crook of his neck, your knees pulled up and slighting resting on the edge of his lap.

"Should we wake them up?" Pope asks. "Psst! Guys-"

Kie slaps his arm. "Don't you dare. They're gonna get along even less when they wake up - let's just enjoy the peace whilst it lasts."

John B smirks and nods. "Yeah, come on, let's head to the Boneyard and start setting things up. They'll catch up later."

The trio walk out as quietly as they can, leaving you two to your slumber.

Kie's right; when you both wake up, you're going to be embarrassed and probably angry at the other. But right now, you're blissfully unaware.

The bag of frozen peas defrosts on the table, and even though JJ is clearly hurt, he's been taken care of, and seems content.

Yeah, so, I'm providing content no one asked for. This is my blog, let me live.

Lmao, in all seriousness, I figured writing the start of a potential crush could be cute for a change and it's nice writing for another one of my favourite boys, who isn't Minho.

I know this isn't my demography, but I'm tryna make my masterlist look less empty.

Anyway, I hope at least one of you enjoyed this :))

#🌿 petri obx jj maybank #🌿 petri writes #🌿 petri writes obx #🍃 petri obx #obx imagine #obx x reader #obx netflix #obx #obx fic #jj maybank outer banks #jj maybank obx #jj maybank #jj mayback x reader #jj x reader

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rattycattyfanfic · 2 months

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(you drive me) crazy

for @mirroredmemoriez's prompt!

1.) Lynn or Amanda reacting to one another’s music tastes! Can keep it broad and just have it as looking at a genre or pick a specific song. Setting wise it can be anywhere, such as oh I’ve bought this CD and sliding the disc in the car.

a shocking 1,521 words! no real warnings except mentions of mandy brain. can kinda sit in bark like a god verse? but doesn't have to.

if anyone would like to submit some simple easy prompts that i can deal with in 500-700 words ideally (although im finding these are spiralling out of control!) my inbox is open :)

One thing Lynn hadn’t anticipated about Amanda, but finds herself continually pleasantly surprised by, is all the strange little commonalities they share. Amanda’s music taste is not particularly vast or varied, but her taste for the alternative overlaps with the soundtrack of Lynn’s own youth in a nostalgic way.

She remembers the first time, back when they were new and slightly tense – the relief of a common ground in the form of a familiar song playing faintly on the radio. The Cramps, she thinks it had been, but she couldn’t for the life of her name the song. She had simply known that she’d worn it out in her late teens, and that this strange girl was now in her living room bobbing her head along to the same song, oblivious. “I used to love this one,” Lynn had said, breaking the comfortable quiet and hating herself for it. But then Amanda had looked back, up, at her with this odd expression, something akin to surprise or respect, and it had felt easy. She’d smirked, said something snarky, a bit rude, and Lynn had laughed, and it had been a rare easy moment for them amidst all the turmoil.

It’s nice. Unexpected, but nice. Lynn welcomes the throwbacks to her undergrad days, and the insight that the day’s music choice provides into Amanda’s strange head. Her thoughts are still a mystery to Lynn some days, but the music – it helps shine a light on whatever Amanda is thinking that day.

Sometimes, she finds the girl in an oddly energetic mood, spinning Bikini Kill or Blondie whilst she busies herself with household tasks. Often she’ll be bent over some gadget in the backyard, taking the thing apart and putting it back together – the VHS player, or the old bike in the garage that hasn’t been used in years, or some other currently unidentifiable pile of scrap metal and electronics. Lynn can’t even be mad about it. Amanda always puts them back together in perfect, or better, working condition, and so she’s content to hang in the doorway, watching curiously until Mandy perks her head up and notices.

“Was it too loud?” she says, with grease on her cheeks and a look somewhere between defiant and owlish.

And Lynn says, will always say, “No,” and then usually, “I love this album. What are you working on?” Amanda grins and launches into an explanation that goes straight over Lynn’s head, however similar metal and electronics and flesh and nerves might be. She furrows her brow and nods attentively, and thinks that she loves Amanda like this, almost childishly excited and hyper-focused to the bright tones of Eat to the Beat.

Similarly, Lynn can tell when it’s a bad day. She knows that when she hears Fiona Apple, Hole, even the rare occasion of Patti Smith whining from Amanda’s oversized headphones, she needs to tread a little more carefully, treat Amanda with a little extra care. That brain of hers is still a mystery to her, especially days like this when she doubts even Amanda can make sense of her tangled thoughts.

She gets this, though, the appeal of quietly enraged vocals, angsty guitars and pianos, fast or slow but equally intense either way. She remembers listening to Revenge as a teenager and how it had spoken to her, soothed emotions she hadn’t even realised she’d had, and she thinks she gets it a little bit. So she sits down on the back porch next to Amanda wordlessly, and lays her head on the girl’s shoulder to catch the odd angsty refrain leaking out of the headphones. She says nothing about the edgy look in those dark eyes, or the raw pink of her sharp cheeks and wrists from where she’d scratched and rubbed restlessly. Lynn sits silently with her, until Amanda lets out a shuddering breath and relaxes just an ounce.

Today she unplugs her headphones and allows Lynn to listen with her fully. She leans against her shoulder heavily, allows the tenderness of backrubs or fingers combing through her hair. Other days, the headphones stay on and Lynn remains a voyeur, held at arm’s length, the vulnerability of unplugging simply too much for Amanda to bear. Either way, Lynn tucks these shared moments away inside herself and thanks whatever god there is for the safe catharsis of rageful nineties singers.

Amanda is not a good driver. This is the main, overarching reason Lynn will give if asked why she always prefers to be in the driver’s seat of her own car. She can drive, legally, and does so without accident, but she is not good at it, and Lynn spends most rides with Amanda holding onto her fucking seat wondering if this was part of her torture repertoire when working under John. But then, she supposes, her victims would’ve been unconscious during transportation, and so all the swearing and sharp veers must be either unintentional or for the sheer thrill of it.

That is the reason Lynn will give for not getting in Amanda’s car if she can help it. The reason she will not give, is that Amanda’s baseline – and her favourite driving music – is largely completely fucking unlistenable industrial metal. Nine Inch Nails, Nitzer Ebb, and Ministry take pride of place in the driving fast and badly playlist. It all sounds like construction site noise to Lynn, and only adds to the distressing experience of being driven around by someone she has to remind herself is criminally insane.

Her car is in the shop, though, and they need groceries. And so, Lynn is white knuckling the seat of Amanda’s beaten up shitbox while KMFDM screeches through tinny speakers. She thinks there’s probably never been such an intense fucking drive to the grocery store in all of history.

She’s about to say something bitchy, maybe ask her to turn it off or down at the very least, but when she looks over, she snorts. Amanda has her sunglasses on and is nodding to the beat, tapping her fingers rapidly against the steering wheel, looking fully in the zone whilst she swears at another driver for daring to obey the highway code. “I can’t believe you like this shit, Mandy,” she says instead with an exasperated laugh, and gets a bright grin in response.

“It’s fun,” Amanda defends lightly, and glances back at the road, veering around another corner way too fast. “It’s fast. I like it!”

Lynn rolls her eyes. “‘Kill motherfuckin’ Depeche Mode?’ That’s fun?” She doesn’t see the appeal, honestly, but it fits Mandy she supposes. Erratic, brash, angry in a gleeful way. It fits her perfectly. She’ll grin and bear it, maybe even learn to love it like she had Mandy, despite all the ways she had infuriated her at first.

Amanda opens her mouth as if she’s about to respond, but the song fades out and into the next, and she turns a soft pink instead. She reaches out awkwardly towards the dashboard to skip the song, but Lynn is fast too. Lynn knows her 00s pop music – put it down to having a young daughter and nothing else, nothing else. She grabs the girl’s slender wrist and stops her in her tracks, and the song continues. A grin spreads across Lynn’s face, and Amanda groans.

“Lynn–”

The unmistakable intro to Toxic plays out through the speakers at the same volume as the heavy industrial stuff, and there’s no hiding from it. Amanda goes a deeper shade of pink, as if this is somehow the most embarrassing thing Lynn has learnt about her to date.

It must be her growing sadistic streak, but Lynn can’t help but dig a little. She holds Mandy’s wrist still, hovering inches away from the skip button. “I would never have pegged you for a closet Britney fangirl, baby,” she teases, and delights in the way Amanda flushes and splutters.

“I don’t know how that got on the playlist, Lynn – fuck – Lynn, skip it,” she stammers.

“No, I like it,” Lynn says smugly, and sits back, entwining their fingers together and effectively stopping her from skipping it lest she crash them both into a ditch. “And so do you, apparently – keep that hand on the wheel.”

Amanda groans, but stops fighting. She squeezes Lynn’s hand hard, digs her nails in a little viciously, but keeps her other hand on the wheel and lets the bubbly pop keep playing. Even as she flushes, loudly proclaims her embarrassment, Lynn can see her knee subtly bouncing to the beat. She looks one second from whispering the lyrics to herself.

One last dig, for the fun of it. Lynn feels high on the silliness of the moment, a bubble of unfamiliar giggliness in her throat. “Do you know the dance moves too?”

“Oh my god!” Amanda exclaims, throwing her head back. She steps on the pedal in exasperation and the car surges forward. She really shouldn’t be allowed to drive. A minute later, when she finally manages to swallow down the worst of her humiliation, Amanda mumbles, barely audible above the autotune. “...Yes.”

Lynn laughs out loud.

#lynnmanda #lynn denlon #amanda young #saw #shotgunshipping #mirroredmemoriez #rated t #2024 #drabble #fluff #character study #ish

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indieyuugure · 1 year

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I gotta know would the indie tmnt listen to weezer since theyre 90s kids? I think mikey would. donnie might pretend he's not interested but he'll find himself singing along lol

I was actually thinking about that a bit since my cousins love Weezer. I think either Mikey or Leo would like it. Something I’ve found about people’s music taste is that it’s usually derived from an aspect of their personality that they don’t usually express. For me, I love Nine Inch Nails and hark rock/metal. My sister says it’s probably the angsty teenager that’s the root of it.

So I think in Mikey, there isn’t anything he doesn’t express since he has no filter. He probably likes exactly what you think he’d like, upbeat pop and rock. So he probably likes Backstreet Boys, other kinds of pop from the 80s and 90s, and probably Weezer too.

Donnie is more similar to Mikey in the way he has no filter and says what he’s thinking. I’m in @ezgurple’s boat of Donnie is an NIN fan/general alternative and industrial music. Probably would also love KMFDM since it’s a very similar style.

Leo and Raph would actually have similar tastes in music, but opposite to what you’d expect. Raph is pretty moody and while he does enjoy metal, especially when he’s angry, he really likes more chill rock, like Foo Fighters and other alternative rock when he’s drawing. Leo to put on a chill persona, and he does love rock, but he’s very high strung and so has a guilty pleasure of listening to hard rock and metal.

They all also love video game music, and are constantly humming it around the house. Sometimes it turns into a full on orchestra of drums and bass and lead melodies until Splinter yells at them to shut up because he’s sick of hearing the same song over and over and over again.

Good question! :]

#tmnt #q&a #indie’s turtles #indie tmnt #ninja turtles #teenage mutant ninja turtles #music

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pascalscoffin · 8 months

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You + Me Is All We Need

Full Pedro Masterlist

Sometimes, the only person a girl can count on is her daddy.

Warning: Minors Go Away I Will Kick You In The Forehead. 2007! No outbreak! No x reader or anything this is just a little insight on life inside the Miller house on a particularly rough day. Absent Mother. Depressed Sarah. Mentions Sarah might have an ED (she doesn’t I swear she’s just depressed). Mentions of Ellie x Sarah (they’re the same age).

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Somethings been wrong with Sarah lately, Joel’s not a hundred percent sure what it is but he can tell somethings been bothering her. Every time he’d go to bring it up though, he would chicken out and change the subject and it would make him feel a hundred times worse than he had before he opened his stupid mouth.

He’d thought, after graduation and with college right around the corner she’d be happier, go out with friends, maybe go on some dates with Ellie. He hadn’t even heard her say anything about her in about a week, which was odd because she was usually bringing up every little fact she could think of.

He’d noticed she was on her phone a lot more, scowled at it more, she didn’t push for movie nights nearly as much as she used to, most of the time rushing off to her room with her nose buried in her cellphone. He’d talked to Tommy and Maria, who both agreed she was probably just being an angsty teenager, but it didn’t feel like that, it felt like he was watching his babygirl struggle and there was nothing he could do. She ate less, talked to him less, she was just… not the same and it was hurting him to see her that way.

She’d started going on runs, he noticed, early in the morning before he got up. He started getting up earlier just to make sure she would actually make it back, watching her take off from his bedroom window, sometimes at half speed, other times at complete full speed. This wasn’t normal teenage angst, he was a teenager, he couldn’t remember ever choosing to run at five am at full speed.

Maria suggested she was having body issues and while Joel considered the running and not eating as evidence of that, it just didn’t… feel right. It wasn’t that, either. Eventually, he decided he’d stop asking other people for advice on his daughter, and he’d just ask her himself.

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She wasn’t there. She wasn’t fucking there. She promised she’d be there! The words echoed in Sarah’s head as her feet pounded into the pavement, tears streamed down her face, and Hert-Shaped Box blaring into her ears as her headphone cords hit her chest with each stomp. Ellie was responsible for her vast arrange in music taste. The Hannah Montana songs now accompanied by bands like Nirvana, No Doubt, and 4 Non Blondes.

She should text Ellie at least, she’s been messaging her ever since graduation, asking if she was alright, if she wanted her to come over. She had come over but Sarah had told Joel to just send her away, not feeling up to guests. Sarah’s kept her completely in the dark, didn’t even greet her after she faked her way through photos with her family. Ellie had known Michelle was supposed to be at graduation, and had sent Sarah an I’m sorry text when she noticed she wasn’t there.

Sarah had been showing her photos the entire week leading up to graduation, having found Michelle’s Facebook and decided on a whim to message her. Michelle had seemed so happy to talk her, replying quickly but gradually the texts got more distant, and then radio silence after not showing up at her graduation. Had even sent Sarah a photo of her getting into her car with the message ‘headed to you!’ With a heart that Sarah had fallen for immediately.

Worst of all, when she’d gone to find Michelle’s Facebook and ask her what happened she was blocked, she’d worried and thought something happened, and then Ellie, after being forced by Sarah, looked up the Facebook account and it was full of new pictures of her with her family at the beach on the day of graduation. Sarah had been heartbroken, had left Ellie’s house without a word and ignored her dad the rest of the night when she got home, sobbing into her pillow.

She didn’t know why she didn’t tell Joel, maybe because she was scared he’d tell her the truth- that Michelle left for a reason. She wasn’t going to suddenly have a change of heart. It was something Sarah had already known, already told herself even without Joel saying it that that was the case. And she’d been fine with it. Completely fine with it.

Until prom happened and Maria helped her get ready in areas that Joel couldn’t. Like doing her hair better than a few braids or buns, which she had no problem with, but it was prom, she needed to go all out. She’d gone on Instagram while Maria was doing her hair, and was assaulted with photos of girls getting ready with their mothers and her heart sank to her stomach and stayed there.

She loved Maria, she did. But Maria was her aunt, not her mother. Prom was something you got ready for with your mother. Your mom was supposed to annoy you for photos while your dad tried to coax her away. But instead. Sarah had Maria and Tommy and Joel, who took a respectful amount of photos before sending her on her way with Ellie.

She just wished she’d had a mother growing up. Joel was great and she loved him more than anything. But there was always something tugging in her chest, and until recently she hadn’t put it together.

She ran until her feet hurt, stumbling to a stop and dropping to her knees on her front lawn, wheezing heavily as she tried to catch her breath. She felt a large hand on her should and flinched back, yanking her headphones out as she looked up, relaxing a bit when she saw Joel looking down at her worriedly. “Dad-“

“Sarah.. come on let’s get you some water.” Joel frowned deeply and helped her off the grass. “I… we need to talk.” He sighed heavily as he took her inside, gathering the words in his head as he grabbed her a glass of water. And then he got her some bread and the butter for toast.

“I’m not-“ “eat it or I’ll make you.” Joel sat next to her on the couch and rubbed his face as he sighed, watching her pick up the bread and take a bite. “You haven’t eaten a full meal in days, babygirl. You’re worrying me.” “There’s nothing to be worried about.” “There is. Somethings going on with you and I can’t help if I don’t know what it is.”

“You can’t help anyway, dad.” Sarah looked down at the taste in her hand, tears in her eyes. “If you tell me I can try.” Sarah huffed and threw the toast down on the coffee table. “You won’t get it.” “Why? Because I was a teenager twenty years ago? I still remember being one.”

“God why is it always because I’m a teenager?!” Sarah stood up and threw her hands up. “Or because I’m a girl- or-or because I’m on my period?!” Joel leaned back, eyes widened a little, he opened his mouth to speak but Sarah cut him off. “You won’t get it dad because both of your parents loved you!” She screamed.

“Sarah-“ Joel stood up quickly and moved around the coffee table, frowning when she took a step back from him. “You- you had a mom and a dad! And they were both there! Papa tau-taught you how to-to do all that guy stuff and-and granny taught you the-the other stuff.” She was hyperventilating now, sobbing as Joel grabbed her shoulders and the tears streamed down her face. Unable to even think of what mothers teach their children in her frantic state.

“I can’t even get my mom to show up to my graduation!” She sobbed loudly, dropping her head as her hands covered her face. “Sarah…” Joel tried to pull her closer but she shoved him away. “No!” She sobbed. “No I don’t understand!” She yanked her phone out of her pocket and wiped her eye as she opened Facebook and showed Joel the blocked account. “She told me she would be there and then she blocked me!”

She threw her phone across the living room. “And-and I went to Ellie’s and she-she looked on her Facebook and she’s at the fucking beach with her new family!” Joel didn’t really know what to do, letting her vent and scream as much as she needed to.

“Fuck her!” She yelled at the phone, her shoulders shaking. “I don’t need her. I don’t.” She shook her head rapidly. “I didn’t need her to-to teach me how to tie my shoes or-or ride a bike, or play soccer, or do my hair, or help me get ready for-for my first date-“ Joel started to move closer to her as she continued. “I don’t need her to be there for my wedding. I didn’t need her to be there to get me ready for prom, I didn’t need her at graduation! I don’t need or want her advice for anything!”

When Joel grabbed her this time she finally broke, turning to look up at him and sobbing, “Why won’t she love me, daddy?” Joel’s eyes filling with tears as he pulled Sarah into his chest, lowering them both to the ground when he noticed her whole body starting to shake.

Joel wasn’t good with words, in fact he fucking sucked at them. But as he sat there on the floor with his 18 year old daughter curled up in his lap, sobbing over a woman who couldn’t think twice about her if her life depended on it, he knew he couldn’t let her feel this way. Like it was her fault.

“Listen to me.” He whispered into the top of her head before taking a deep breath and rubbing her back. “What Michelle does has nothing to do with you and whether or not you deserve to be loved.” He hugged her tighter. “Because you do, babygirl. You’re funny and so smart and you’re beautiful and your smile is out of this world.” He shook his head. “Don’t let her actions, her failures as a human being, dictate how you perceive yourself. Michelle… she’s set in her ways and it has nothing to do with you. She’s sick, honey. There’s something… not right about her and I don’t want you to get caught up in her web of lies and misery.” He whispered.

“You’ve got a great life without her. A girl that’s crazy about you, a dad that would take down the Incredible Hulk if it would make you happy, a loving aunt and uncle and a cousin on the way.” He pulled back and cupped her cheeks to make her look at him. “You’re doing wonderful without her and you don’t need her coming into your life and messing it up. Show her you can be happy without her, can move on in your life without her.”

Sarah’s lip wobbled, her tears having stopped by now as she listened to Joel, nodding weakly before hugging Joel tightly. “I’m sorry. I’ve been so mean to everyone and I’m starving and I started ignoring everyone and-“ “and you stink.” Joel teased. Sarah gasped and pulled away, seeing nothing but fondness in his eyes as she shook her head.

“Just cause you run like you’re running from the police or something. Go take a shower, I’ll make you something to eat and we’ll watch whatever you wanna watch.” He said softly, helping her stand up, relieved she had her strength back. “… can you make your empanadas? And put in Curtis and Viper?”

Joel smiled softly and nodded, surprised she actually wanted to watch that movie. “Yeah. I can make empanadas and put in Curtis and Viper.” He chuckled when she smiled and turned around to go shower, shaking his head before slowly letting his smile drop and his jaw tense.

Fucking Michelle.

Sarah wouldn’t be a hundred percent yet, he knew that, and it would likely be a while before she felt and acted like her old self again. He was glad he could calm her down, though. It was just taking every remaining cell in his body not to make one of those Facebook accounts for the soul purpose of absolutely reaming Michelle for her behavior, but part of him new she would thrive too much off of that, to know that she upset another human being so deeply.

So, instead, while he was cooking he did make a Facebook, but not to search out Michelle and lay into her, even if he wanted to so bad. He made his profile picture a photo of him and Sarah and immediately loaded the account with photos of her or the both of them together.

He posted every picture of prom, graduation, and school events before then. He was proud of Sarah and he wasn’t going to let his lack of technology or Michelle’s sick heart let it go unnoticed.

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How do we feel about background Ellie x Sarah?

#pedro pascal #joel miller #the last of us #joel miller fanfiction #Joel tlou #Joel miller tlou #Sarah miller #Sarah tlou #Sarah miller tlou

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losergendered · 4 months

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hiii prbbly a weird question do you have any media suggestions? especially songs, bands, comics, shows and the like ... asking you bc i like your tastes lawlsies :]

oh my god ANON… i love you… putting this under the cut cause i have a Tonnn and a lot of em need content warnings LOLL

- Inside Mari (manga): a popular high school girl and an asocial hikkikomori swap bodies! …or do they. a bodyswap manga with a horrorfic emotional twist. its really visceral and transgender. cws for sexual content, unreality/dissociation and child abuse

- Erased (manga/anime): a disillusioned mangaka has a supernatural ability that involuntarily sends him back in time in order to prevent tragedies. when tragedy strikes close to him, hes sent back to investigate a series of murders that happened when he was in 5th grade. cws for mentions of pedophilia, child abuse and child death in both versions, but the manga has more explicit sexual assault and suicide

- The Lost Boys (movie): two brothers and their mother move to a beach town that is super infested with 80s biker vampires. no(?) cws really? i mean its kind of a horror movie by virtue of vampires but its not like super violent or anything. its kinda just campy

- Bang Bang You’re Dead (movie): following a student making a false bomb threat, a theater teacher decides to cast him in a play about a school shooting, much to the disdain of the rest of the community. its basically about a kid escaping the mentality of violence through theater and it made me cry. cws for an (attempted) school shooting, uh, you know. that kinda shit. but this one has a happy ending actually i promise

- Les Demoiselles de Rochefort (movie): BARELY a plot. its like a bunch of 1960s french people falling in love surrounding a music festival? its mostly just pretty looking. its also a musical. no cws! that i can remember at least

- Beryl and Sapphire (donghua): a series of alternate universe vignettes of the characters beryl and sapphire! sometimes theyre boys, sometimes theyre girls, sometimes theyre rivals, but theyre mostly in love with each other :) some of the episodes are angsty/have death but its mostly lighthearted!

- HOPEUROKAY (music): a duo of two trans people makin cool electronic music! electropop i guess?? digicore?? genres are fake but their music fucks. and they have like 500 monthly listeners. fave songs: ghostinthecorner, day 400, insight, pink ps2

- Gezebelle Gaburgably (music): do you LOVE electronic incelcore? do you wish that it was made by a woman so you felt less bad for liking it? boy do i have the gal for you. fave songs: quarter pounder, death by dodgeball, heads up, sanrio girl

- Fairy Idol Kanon (manga): a kids manga about three girls on their journey to become idols with the help of a fairy princess! meanwhile, they must also use the power of song to save the fairy realm from the dark faires!

- What Happens Next (webcomic): a trans guy who was an accessory to murder as a teenager has to navigate the rest of his life. follows both him and the other affected parties, through the lens of modern day internet culture. cws for WHOOH BOY. (child) death, gore, trauma, transphobia, abuse, ableism, self harm. like everything basically. but the comic also provides cws itself

- SoraMafuUraSaka (music): a four person utaite group made of soraru, mafumafu, uratanuki, and tonari no sakata! they make yearly videogame themed songs together, as well as each being just like. independent artists in their own right. if you've seen the rpg animation meme, that songs by them! my personal fave of theirs is noryoku hikitsugi de otome game no sekai ni tenseishitaken ni tsuite, though i also like their most recent one (jinsei muri game)!

indiv song recs now!

- Tonari no JK (The Highschool Girl Next to Me) by Konori feat. GUMI: ok yeah the lyrics might be a little questionable but it SLAPS.... konori's metal vocals combined with gumi's melody combined with the cheery backing music... its just perfect. and "watashi wa watashi, ne! "ne"?! JANEE YOOOOOO" is like the best part of any song ever

- A Favor House Atlantic by Coheed and Cambria: so this is off of a concept album, apparently, which i haven't actually fully listened to, so i dunno what this song's actually about, but it IS really good. it's got that high-pitched male pop punk vocals (esp on the line "good eye sniper") and it reminds me of vrisrezi like a lot

- Chuis Bo! by PZK: do you like early 2010s french dance pop. would you like to. Les Filles Adorent and Ce Matin Va Etre une Pure Soiree are also bangers

- My Magical Romance by Sophie's Magic Diary: Sophie's Magic Diary is actually a really cool series of animated shorts about a girl with a crush and her puppy fairy familiar thing who tries to help her woo him. hilarity ensues. my magical romance is an original song made by the artist to accompany the story! its a banger

- Tamara is a Punk by The Queers: a punk jam about having unrequired feelings for a girl named tamara! got into this song cause my mutual made ocs based off of it.

ok that was LONG. but im an enthusiast. feel free to ask for more random recs this ask lowkey made my day sjgfbh <3

#love that my two interests are like #Trauma Death Tragedy: content warnings EVERYTHING #or #Fairy Friend Time: the colors are pretty :)#asks #ask to tag

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themculibrary · 1 year

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High School AU’s Masterlist 2

part one

A Play On Mischief (ao3) - SmurfsTasteGoodOnToast loki/sylvie T, 32k

Summary: When a new girl shows up and punches him in the face, Loki isn't so enthused to have to share the stage with her. Though over time, it seems everyone just might be falling for the wrong person. Sylvie/Loki HS Au

Be Still My Foolish Heart (Don’t Ruin This On Me) (ao3) - thiccbuckybarnes steve/bucky E, 15k

Summary: Bucky Barnes ends up at a house party that he really shouldn’t be at on a Saturday night.

– Or, the super angsty high school au I’ve always wanted.

Bullying (ao3) - xMarrrvelx steve/tony T, 4k

Summary: Steve finds out that Tony has been a victim of bullying for ages…so, naturally, he wants to help.

can't for the life of me (ao3) - prxntiss gamora/peter M, 38k

Summary: “I promise I’m not just tryna get you in my bed… unless it’s working?”

She shoved him so hard that he almost fell off the path. “In your dreams, Quill.”

[ in which peter and gamora are flustered teenagers who are strongly in denial ]

Complicated (ao3) - Shaderose harley/peter T, 6k

Summary: Harley becomes someone different to fit in at school. Peter is frustrated with it, but let’s it go, thinking he’ll stop eventually and go back to being the person he loves. Then, Harley does something unimaginable, and everything comes to a head.

Facing Bullies (ao3) - JustAnotherFan05 pepper/tony G, 4k

Summary: When Pepper Potts (Stark) gets an invitation to attend her high school reunion, she ends up facing some of her old high school bullies. And even though things got a little tense, in the end, she realizes that facing her bullies was the best closure she could ever ask for.

Fly (ao3) - smilexdarling steve/tony, clint/natasha T, 5k

Summary: Sometimes, all it takes is getting beaten up by bullies, an awkward meeting in a bathroom, and an undone fly to rekindle a friendship. OrThat time Tony was self-sacrificing in order to benefit Steve; Sam, Bucky, and Clint were the best bros a guy could ask for; and Natasha was an absolute legend.

Hot Nerd Chic (ao3) - OneSmartChicken bucky/tony G, 4k

Summary: In which Bucky has a thing for cute nerds, Tony has many things (including a crush), and they go to school.

Impress Her (ao3) - angstydisaster yelena/kate T, 4k

Summary: "You..don't know?" Peter asks puzzled, "Wait have you ever talked to her?"

"No.." Kate mumbles.

"KATE!"

"What?! Really?!"

"I'm so disappointed in you"

"I like to just admire from afar, okay?" Kate replies defensively.

---

Kate wants to learn Russian after finding out that her crush spoke the language, so she asks someone she knows who speaks it for help. ~ High School AU

Just A Friend (ao3) - AlexaNDYE pepper/tony T, 5k

Summary: Some old fashion High School troubles between friends.

Love on a Wire (ao3) - UlternateFreak harley/peter T, 43k

Summary: Between his parent’s divorce, and his breakup with golden-girl, Gwen Stacy - designated, on and off again, asshole - Harley Keener, finds himself feeling rather lost. But a chance encounter with Peter Parker - a boy he had only ever hated before now - begins to change that.

Or, the Midtown High School AU inspired by the song: Black Sheep by Metric (Scott Pilgrim). In which Peter Parker might just be what Harley Keener needs to find even the smallest trace of happiness.

melody calling (ao3) - kingdavidbowie clint/loki, pepper/tony G, 4k

Summary: High school AU in which Loki wears hoodies, Clint wears combat boots and Pepper has immaculate taste in music) Also in which Loki has a song for planning to take over the world, Clint has a song for saving it and Steve is a champion discus thrower)

Messages of Love (ao3) - flyingorfalling pepper/tony M, 6k

Summary: Their story began the day he left his number on the stall wall of the unisex bathroom—not imagining anyone would even pay much attention to it—and a text message from an unknown number arrived only half an hour later during math class. He remembered asking her how she was doing, and her telling him that it was the worst week ever and she just needed someone to talk to.

Never Been Kissed (ao3) - Neverever steve/tony T, 5k

Summary: Tony and Steve have been long time friends at Shield Academy, a high school for wanna-be superheroes and support teams. Junior Prom is coming up and Tony plans to ask Steve to the prom. But complications happen.

Prom Night (ao3) - Lucy bruce/tony M, 4k

Summary: Bruce is depressed about the upcoming prom. Tony doesn't get it, until he does.

Teenage Kicks (ao3) - roe87 steve/bucky T, 65k

Summary: Bucky Barnes, certified dork and generally uncool nerd, starts 9th grade without friends and still carrying a torch for Steve Rogers, all round popular kid and star athlete at school who is so far out of Bucky's league he may as well be the moon.

Then Bucky makes a new friend, new student and fellow dork Kamala Khan.

Kamala is putting together a band, which is certainly a lot cooler than anything Bucky has ever done and he gets swept along for the ride, gaining new friends and a newfound confidence on the way.

Which is just when Steve Rogers seems to notice him, and Bucky wonders if the moon isn't so far out of reach after all.

Too busy being yours (ao3) - everythingisconnected harley/peter M, 13k

Summary: Harley and Peter end up being roommates at MIT.

Neither of them know they both know Tony, until they find out and end up starting to catch feelings.

In which Tony Stark is a little shit who ships it, and is a bad influence on Morgan who helps him out a little, unintentionally.

we're invincible, remember? (ao3) - Possiblyenjoyable bruce/tony, brief pepper/tony E, 80k

Summary: Time moves slowly for Tony. He's tried everything he could possibly think of to make time move faster, but God, it's impossible. He remembers when he used to think time moved too quickly, back when he and Bruce were online best buddies and before Bruce's Skype icon disappeared from his computer when he was twelve. Now, he just wants everything to be over and done with. Until he sees a familiar face the start of his senior year of high school.

Or, the one where Tony and Bruce were childhood best friends before Bruce disappeared for six years.

#themculibrary #mcu #marvel #au #high school #high school masterlist #school #masterlists

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elizabeethan · 3 years

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Weather the Storm

An Overboard Addition

For @the-darkdragonfly because it’s her birthday!!!!!!!

What started as a fluffy little addition to Overboard, one of my more popular fics that Kay loves, became something… angsty as heck. But not to worry, there’s more where this came from.

There are brief mentions of miscarriage in this piece. Please take care of yourself and remember you’re always welcome to message me with questions.

Thank you endlessly to @donteattheappleshook for beta-ing this

Rated E

~8600 words

Read on Ao3

Read my Other Stuff

~~~~

Emma pulls the cable knit sweater over her head and smoothes it over her hips, noting the way it falls perfectly just above her ass in her tight jeans and smirking at her reflection in the mirror. Killian loves when she wears his clothes, and she can’t wait to drive him mad in front of his crew for the entire day.

“ Bloody hell ,” he breathes as he walks into their bedroom, stopping short with his hand on the door handle. She smirks again, turning to face him with a smile.

“Like my outfit?”

“You stole my sweater,” he accuses, although she can see the way the corner of his lips tick up with a small smile he tries to fight off.

“The cream color matches so well with these black jeans. Don’t you think?”

Stepping towards her, he shakes his head as he eyes her up and down. “I must say, I agree.”

“Hmm,” she hums with false pensivity, pouting her lip. “You don’t look very happy.”

Wrapping his hands over her waist, he pulls her close to himself until his hips press against hers and she can feel that he is, in fact, quite happy. “Perhaps that’s because my beautiful wife is trying to make me late for work.”

She giggles as their lips collide, his hands sliding up the back of her sweater so that she can feel the cold metal of his new wedding band chilling her skin. Her giggling subsides when his tongue slides against her, the sweet, bitter taste of his morning coffee waking her senses and making her fingers tighten around the hair at the nape of his neck.

She grinds her hips against his hardening length, causing him to groan as his grip on her tightens, bringing her even closer to him and making her want to shed the cozy sweater she borrowed and toss him onto the bed they share. “Killian,” she breathes into his mouth desperately, scratching her fingers down into the black and silver hair on his chest.

He bites on her bottom lip before pulling away, effectively making her head spin at the loss of contact between them. “You can’t trick me again, temptress. It’s time to leave.”

“ Trick you?! When have I ever tricked you?”

Pointing a finger at her, he eyes her down suspiciously and says, “A lady as tantalizing and mysterious as you must certainly be some manner of siren, or vixen, or--”

She cuts him off with a kiss, pulling at the collar of his sweater with her greedy fingers. “How many times do I have to tell you? I’m not a bloody mermaid. I love you. ”

She feels him sigh, his breath washing over her face in a soothing warmth, and he nods. “Aye. I suppose I sometimes just can’t wrap my head around how lucky I am to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world.”

With another hum, she closes her eyes and presses a final, soft kiss to his lips. “Well, get used to it, buddy. You’re never getting rid of me.”

“Good.”

“Now, hurry up. You’ve made us late.”

~~~~

“Good morning, wife,” Will greets cheerfully, dropping a chaste kiss to Emma’s cheek and shooting Killian a smirk and waggling brows. “I sure am excited to have you on board with us.”

“Me too,” Emma smiles. “I think I’ll be your good luck charm. How many are we catching?”

“If we don’t catch three, you may not be invited back,” Robin jokes.

With a scoff and a roll to her eyes, she says, “Please. As if you have any say. My husband can’t say no to me.”

“Can’t blame him,” Will agrees.

“Alright, that’s enough,” Killian mumbles as he drops the bag they brought into his quarters. “There’d better be bait on this deck.”

“Aye, Captain. Caught it meself this morning while you and the wife were--“

Killian laughs when he realizes what’s happened; when he sees the small heron flopping across the deck upon Emma throwing it at Will, successfully shutting him up.

The sun shines brightly against her skin, causing her cheeks to pink as she lounges on the bow, giving him a distracting view as he tries to navigate through the sea of weekend fishermen to his favorite secluded spot. Sure, she’s still fully dressed, but something about seeing her in his sweater makes the hair on the back of his neck stand on end and his jeans feel tight.

“No funny business while we’re on board, aye Captain?”

Killian grumbles inaudibly in Will’s direction, rolling his eyes, and demands, “All the lines had best be out, Scarlet.”

“Aye, all but the ones on the bow. Don’t want to disturb the beauty.”

“Stop looking at my bloody wife,” he grumbles, earning a smirk from his deckhand.

He meets her later, when Will and Robin have completed their tasks and find themselves lounging on the deck waiting for a bite. His heart flutters when he watches her turn towards him, a beaming smile decorating her face and the color of her eyes catching the sun. He smiles back, crawling across the small, slightly slippery expanse of the deck. “You look nice and warm.”

“You look nice.”

He chuckles softly at her blatant flirting as he moves to lie beside her on the deck. “May I join you?”

“Please do.”

She’s quick to move beside him, the towel she brought to lounge on scrunching between them as she curls up to his side. She smells of sea and sunscreen and something that’s so painfully her that his arms move involuntarily to wrap around her, his lips pressing a firm and longing kiss to her temple. “I’m glad you came,” he murmurs, his voice barely audible to even himself over the sound of the crashing waves.

“Me too,” she agrees. “It’s nice. Your job doesn’t seem too hard.”

“Oh, aye?” he laughs, rolling her so that she’s on her back beneath him, cognizant not to throw them overboard. He knows she’s joking; she knows how difficult and dangerous his work can be. But her playfulness is impossible to ignore. “About as easy as being the Sheriff, I’m sure.”

She giggles under the weight of him, her grin beaming in the sun until he consumes it with his own lips. He slides his tongue along her bottom lip, suddenly taken by the comfort that being with her brings him. The gentle touch of her wandering hands sliding up his back, pushing his sweater away, sends a shiver down his spine. The cold weight of the white gold rings on her finger reminds him of how far they’ve come. She’s his wife .

“You know,” she growls against his mouth, “The waves will probably have a very interesting effect when we do it later.”

He bites down on her bottom lip, just a bit harder than he means to and drawing from her a whine and giggle all at once. “And what have you done to deserve that?”

“I’m your good luck charm,” she says confidently against the shell of his ear, one hand sliding from his rear to the front of his trousers and squeezing until he breathlessly ruts against her palm. He’s always awestruck by her, but the way she can make him behave like this despite knowing that his mates are just on the other deck makes him feel like a teenager again. “You’re gonna catch big today, baby. I can feel it.”

“Aye, you’ll feel it alright.”

Her laughter rings through his ears again, but the blissful sound is interrupted by the raucous shouts of his mates announcing the small blips on their radar. They’re marking fish, several tuna swimming beneath his boat, and it kills him to pull away from her in favor of checking the bait and praying for a hookup.

“We’re on!” Will screams excitedly, and he can hear the scream of the reel being pulled out by a sea monster.

Emma scurries from beneath him, hastily hurrying towards the starboard side so that she can head back towards the deck. She’s always excited to see him work, to see what goes into his livelihood, and she’s made him promise to let her reel at least once.

Will jumps on the reel while Robin pulls in the others, careful not to allow the lines to tangle, and Emma stands beside the wheel while Killian steers. He needs to stay on top of the fish so that they don’t run out of line, he explains, and she watches his careful and diligent movements, his sweater dampened by the ocean spray and clinging to the muscles in his shoulders. She can’t help but bite her lip.

He asks her to take the wheel and she’s nervous, worried that her screwup could mean their loss. But he directs her perfectly, telling her when to put the boat into neutral and when to reverse, where to steer and when. Eventually, Robin shouts that he can see the fish, and her eyes bug out of her head at the sheer size of it. She’s seen plenty of tuna at the docks, many of them several feet longer than she is tall, but to see one in the water is stunning.

Killian takes the harpoon in his grip, lining it up and setting his jaw tightly in concentration. His brows draw close together, his empty arm lifting in front of him so that he can visualize the course to his target, and in a move that’s almost too quick to comprehend, he draws his chest and shoulder back and launches the harpoon into the water, grunting deeply as he strikes.

Her cheeks go red.

Her husband is so damn hot.

They work together to hoist the beast onto the deck, it’s sheer size and weight overpowering and breathtaking. They measure its length, and Robin calls out that the fish is 112 inches, a record for the Jolly Roger .

“You are lucky,” Killian laughs, pointing at her playfully as he stands. He bounds towards her, scooping her up and spinning her carefully as Will and Robin groan quietly. She giggles as he kisses her everywhere, his lips landing on her cheeks, her nose, her lips… she can’t get enough of the love he has for her.

They catch one more fish while she’s sunbathing, their joyous, celebratory shouting music to her ears as she listens to the sounds of her husband’s success. Neither of them have very conventional jobs, but she couldn’t be prouder of him, of them , for making a life together that they can both take pride in.

He worried when she took the job as sheriff, the last one being killed in the line of duty not settling his nerves one bit. It was the fuel for one of their first fights as a couple, a few months before their intimate beach wedding. And although the argument was difficult, she never once doubted that they would work through it.

They’ve worked through plenty of things, hardly any of them actual disagreements. The one thing she worried may have caused turmoil between them turned out to be nothing at all. Her shy confession that she’s never desired to have children was met with unconditional understanding and kindness, his words nearly drawing tears to her eyes each time she thinks back on them.

“ I planned on spending the remainder of my life alone. I never really had an opinion either way. I’ll be the happiest man alive if I just get to spend the rest of my days with you.”

They married mere months later, her parents and brother on her side and his mates on his. She would’ve been happy enough to have it just be them and them alone, but he reminded her of what being there would mean for her family. Calling them that still sits strangely with her to this day, but ever since she and her father opened up to one another, her relationship with her parents has been much improved.

All she ever wanted was love and understanding. She has that, and so much more, with her husband, and there’s really nothing more she could ask for.

~~~~

The sun’s nearly set by the time they make it to the docks, Emma’s father waiting for them and giving a friendly wave when he sees them approaching. Her arms slink around his middle while he steers them towards the dock, head resting on the sore space between his shoulder blades. She pushes a firm kiss there, then another, her fingers clinging to his sweater as he shuts off the engine.

He lets out a soft, gentle chuckle when she kisses his neck just below his ear, knowing she must be on her toes and just barely able to reach. She isn’t especially short, not much shorter than he is, but the way he can envelope her in his arms sends happy warmth through his veins. She kisses the space between his shoulder blades and scratches against his stomach as he navigates next to the dock and waits for Will to tie them off.

“Got two big ones for ya, Dave!” Will shouts when they arrive, and Emma kisses his back once more before pulling away to greet her father. Standing at the wheel, they aren't in David’s direct line of sight, and for that, Killian’s grateful. He can’t ever get enough of his wife’s touch, but he also doesn’t love the idea of her father watching them. “112 incher! Gotta be a thousand pounder!”

“Let’s see,” he returns as Emma steps onto the dock, taking her father’s hand for support.

“Hey,” she says as she leans in for a hug. It’s taken her a while, but she’s known her parents for over a year now, and she’s finally starting to become more comfortable with them. It was difficult at first, knowing that she was given up and replaced by her younger brother a few years later. But she and her parents have had a series of eye-opening conversations, and she’s found herself more and more willing to accept the love that they want to give her with each passing day.

She’s grown increasingly closer to her father over the last few months, finding that his unconditional acceptance of her warms her heart in ways that she never expected. Truthfully, despite being raised by a mother who loved her endlessly, having her father in her life changed everything. She wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Good day?” he asks when he releases her.

“Very good. I’m good luck.”

“Of course you are,” he chuckles, turning on the crane so that they can lift the massive fish out of the boat. Once it’s dressed, it weighs in at just over 800 pounds, Will and Robin shouting and high fiving each other and Killian gently resting his chin on her shoulder from behind to press a kiss to her cheek in quiet celebration. She doesn’t miss his grin, the one that carves deep lines into his cheeks and the sides of his eyes, and all she wants to do is turn around and hold him tight, never content to let him go.

They’re offered a hefty price tag for their catch, the smaller of the two weighing almost 500 pounds, and each of them celebrate with more high fives and hugs. Once the boat is cleaned, Killian sends Robin and Will home early for their hard work. She finds her place behind him again as he drives the boat through the harbor, navigating expertly through other boats and docks until he finds his place at the dock just outside of the home they share.

“We have to go to dinner tonight,” she remarks when the engine stops and a calm silence settles over them both. “My mom is cooking.”

“Aye, love,” he agrees softly, turning to face her and placing both hands on her hips. She lets her fingers trail along his jaw, combing gently through the hair spread across his face that’s getting too long to be considered stubble.

“I like this,” she whispers.

“You don’t think it makes me look like an old man? I haven't shaved in days.”

With a coy smile, she says, “I didn't say it doesn't make you look like an old man, I just happen to like my silver fox of a husband.”

He hums doubtfully, rolling his eyes and giving her a shy smirk that makes it impossible for her to stop herself from pressing onto her toes and kissing him. His beard scratches against her chin when they deepen it simultaneously, the burn delicious and enough for her to crave his mouth everywhere , but they don’t have time. He has to finish putting the boat away and she has to head to her parent’s house to help with dinner. The knowledge that the honeymoon is truly over sets in, and she pouts when they break apart.

“I love you,” he whispers, his forehead pressed to hers and his breath washing over tingling lips.

He can never fail to make her heart race in her chest, beating so forcefully against her ribs that she’s relying on the strength of his arms to hold her up. “I love you, too,” she whispers back, letting her eyes flutter shut against the wind whipping against their hair and in response to the sudden and palpable tension between them. It’s begging to be broken, each of them craving the touch of the other, needing to express their love for each other however they can, but there’s no time. “How long will it take you to clean up here?”

“No more than an hour.”

“We don’t have to stay at my parents’ long,” she murmurs, her lips nearly touching his with each word. All she wants is to be with him. It isn’t just a sexaul desire that she has for him; she needs to be with him. She needs to be touching him. She can’t stand to be apart from him, or to sit in a room with him and not be touching him.

“It’s alright, my love,” he whispers. “Being with your family is important. Despite how desperately I crave you, I'm willing to wait.”

“You might be, but I'm certainly not.”

He laughs loudly, the sound of his glee cutting through the noisy waves and making her heart soar and her grin grow painfully. “I’ll meet you there. I won’t be long; I promise to make quick work of the old girl.”

She nods, kissing him chastely despite her desires and humming in agreement. “As long as you promise not to make quick work of your decidedly much younger girl.”

“You make me sound like a predator,” he laughs.

“No, I told you: you’re my sexy silver fox husband and I'm your young, gorgeous trophy wife.”

“Of course, my love. Whatever you say.”

She lets out a giggle, a sound that would have been so unlike her a year ago, kisses him once more, and regretfully pulls away from him. “I love you,” she says again. “I’ll see you in an hour. I’ll be the one looking devastatingly beautiful.”

“As usual.”

~~~~

“Your dad called,” Mary Margaret announced once they had gotten settled, each of them standing side by side preparing dinner. Emma has been put on chopping duty, and she’s decidedly avoiding the onions. “He said Killian made out very well today. That’s great.”

“Yeah, they did really well. Two fish were over a thousand pounds.”

“Wow,” she smiles, stirring the pasta after pouring it into the boiling water. “That’s impressive. You guys will have a nice nest egg soon enough.”

Emma purses her lips as she finishes chopping a carrot, nodding slowly and unsurely. “I guess. I mean, we both have savings.”

“Oh, I know,” her mother says, taking the chopped carrot and tossing it into a skillet as Emma starts working on the cursed onion. “I meant more for… extra expenses,” she clarifies unhelpfully, giving Emma a presumptuous smile.

She stays quiet for a few moments, trying to consider her mother’s words but letting confusion take over as she tosses the onion into the skillet and Mary Margaret adds olive oil. Moving to the sink to wash her hands, she says, “I mean, we’re happy at the cottage. Maybe Killian would want a new boat soon.”

With a soft giggle as she tosses the vegetables together, Marg Margaret adds a can of tomatoes, causing a raucous sizzle. “Honey, I was referring to… I mean… maybe a baby is in our future? I can’t wait to be a grandma!”

Emma chokes on her own breath, reaching for her glass of wine and taking a generous swig. “Well, grandma, we’ll have to ask Leo to hurry up.”

“Leo,” she laughs, shaking her head. “He’s too young. You, on the other hand, are happily married and at prime child bearing age.”

“Mom…” Emma starts, laughing awkwardly. “I’m not having kids.”

The horror with which she drops her spatula into the skillet, as if what Emma just said is the most unbelievable piece of information she’s ever heard, sends a wave of anger through her veins. The complete shock in her mother’s face at her desire not to bring a child into this world makes Emma’s jaw nearly hit the floor.

Mary Margaret had a baby and gave her away. How could she expect her daughter, the very one who was left abandoned for years, to have a child herself?

Emma’s never wanted kids. She’s always felt this way, like if she had a baby and something happened to her, they would grow up exactly like she did. How could she bring a baby into the world and risk putting them through what she went through?

How could her own mother not understand that?

“You’re not?”

“No,” she answers definitively, the set of her jaw almost painful.

“Oh,” she says with a soft nod. She adds beef to her bolognese in silence, a thick tension settling in the room.

The quiet is awkward, and the longer it lasts, the angrier Emma feels. It’s because she knows what Mary Margaret is thinking. She knows that she’s hurt by Emma’s announcement that she doesn’t plan on having children with her husband. She’s having trouble believing it; she’s struggling to see why Emma wouldn’t want to experience the joys of motherhood.

It’s annoying, and it’s making Emma angry, but nothing compares to the rage that waves through her when Mary Margaret speaks again.

“Does Killian know?”

Her eyes bug out of her head, the glass she was holding dropping onto the countertop too loudly. “ What?”

“I just… I wondered if he agreed…”

“We’re married, ” she answers immediately. Her voice is low, almost a growl in her throat as she tries to stay calm.

“I know, I just…”

“You just thought that maybe I tricked him into marrying me? Maybe I didn’t tell him my foolish idea to stay childless until after we’d tied the knot? You thought that my desire to spend the rest of my life with my husband and with the freedom of not having kids comes second to a man wanting an heir?”

“ Emma, I never--”

“You didn’t have to! You didn’t have to say a thing. Did you really think we wouldn’t discuss something like this before we even got engaged?”

With a sigh, she says, “Sweetheart, of course. I misspoke. I’m sorry. I was just surprised.”

“Surprised?” she asks, trying to calm her voice.

“I mean… I just figured you two would want that. It seems like a natural next step.” Emma’s quiet for a moment, making herself even out her breath and preparing to respond calmly before her mother speaks again. “And I’ve seen how happy Killian seems to be around little Alexandra.”

She feels her heart rate picking up again, and she forces herself to take a moment, having a sip of wine before responding. “So, you’re saying he couldn’t possibly be happy unless I pop out a few kids?”

“Oh, honey… that’s not--”

Her answer is too slow. She can’t defend herself immediately or easily, and that’s all Emma needed to know.

“Okay, I get it,” she says quietly just as David opens the door followed closely by Leo.

“Everything okay?” her father asks

“Great,” she grumbles sarcastically. “Enjoy dinner.”

“Emma!”

She doesn’t turn back, grabbing her wallet and moving past her brother without so much as a word, ignoring her mother’s pleas for her to stay with them. With her family. She can’t.

~~~~

It had only been forty minutes by the time he finished, proud of himself for making such quick work of cleaning his vessel. The image of his stunning wife sitting across from him at the dinner table, surrounded by the family she never thought she’d have, was enough motivation for him to hurry up and meet her.

At least, he thought that was his plan, until he hears angry footsteps stalking against his dock and he knows there’s no other person they can belong to other than his fiery wife. She has a penchant for heated anger, and the sounds she’s making are unmistakable. He only pities whomever put her in such a state, and prays that it wasn’t him.

She reaches the edge of the dock, hands in fists on her hips and jaw set tensely as she stares down at him. “What’s wrong, my love?” he asks, hearing her barely-audible growl in response.

She stalks onto the boat, jumping the few feet onto the deck, and approaches him quickly. Before he knows what hits him, her lips are on his, tackling him against the wheel of the boat and making him thankful that the engine is off.

Her fingers find the hem of his sweater, easily tugging it over his head and exposing his bare arms to the chilly harbor air. He lets out a surprised grunt when her hands land on his stomach under his shirt, scratching through the smattering of hair lower and lower until she grasps his belt and pulls his hips against hers. “Love,” he grumbles against her mouth, and as he opens his lips to speak, her tongue finds his.

She deftly undoes his buckle, humming into his mouth and pushing him until his back is against the exterior wall of the cabin, her hands moving from his belt up to his chest beneath his shirt. A groan escapes her throat through their tangled lips as she lets her palms explore, moving from his chest around to his back and sliding down until she can tug his shirt off, too. He shivers, partially against the cold but mostly in response to her.

“Emma,” he tries again as she drops lower, her tongue swirling against his nipple as her fingers undo the button and zipper of his jeans. “Baby--”

She bites him, making him hiss and surely leaving a mark. “I need you,” she says once she’s looking up at him, her eyes dark and desperate. “Now.”

“Bloody hell,” he breathes as she drops to her knees, lifting her own shirt off and exposing her hardened nipples to the bite of the evening air. She pulls his jeans down effortlessly, his cock springing to attention responsively despite her surprise attack, and he feels his pulse quickening as she bites her lip at the sight of him.

“Fuck,” she says before licking a long strip up to the tip, sucking it into the heat of her mouth. He shudders, his hands finding her hair and tangling into it, trying hard not to take control. She whimpers when he hits the back of her throat, her eyes meeting his in the dim moonlight.

His head falls back against the window when he sees her stirring on her knees, tucking a hand into her leggings and swirling it over her clit. He’s suddenly consumed with a need for her, a need to taste her, to hear her sing for him. He pulls on her hair and she moans around him, making him pant and tug once more before she releases him with a smirk on her swollen lips. “What is it?” she asks, her voice rough in her throat.

Breathless, he shakes his head minutely, intent to find out what’s gotten into her eventually, but also just as intent to be the thing that’s gotten into her and suddenly not feeling very patient about it. He releases his grip on her hair and moves his palms to her cheeks, brushing them with his thumbs before encouraging her to stand again. “Off with these,” he insists in a growl, pulling on the elastic waistband of her leggings as she stands and letting it snap against the small of her back. She yelps playfully, finally smiling and letting out the soft giggle that he always craves, pushing her obvious anger to the side for a moment.

“Aye aye, Captain,” she murmurs, catching his lips with hers again and swirling her tongue against his just as she had done against the tip of his cock. It makes a shiver run up his spine.

He hums, the sound rumbling through his chest, and says, “Ah, so it’s the Captain you want?” as his fingers find her sopping core.

“I need you,” she returns desperately. Her nails dig into the skin of his shoulders as he spins her, pushing her back against the wall he was leaning on and dropping quickly to his knees before her. He couldn’t even begin to consider not giving in to her. He needs her more than he needs to breathe, ready to drop anything at a moment's notice to pleasure her if only to be rewarded with the sinful, intoxicating sound of her moaning his name.

Her fingers cling to his hair, her hips bucking forward towards him as soon as his mouth latches onto her swollen clit, and he says exactly what he knows will make her squirm. Pushing her hips back, he chastises, “Behave, love.”

He’s met with a breathless, desperate whimper, Emma dropping her head back against the window behind her as he swirls his tongue over her. Her hips continue to dance over his mouth as if it’s impossible for her to remain still, and she pulls his hair particularly hard when he hums against her sensitive flesh. “Don’t stop,” she begs, one hand in his hair and the other bracing herself against the wheel tower. When he curls a finger into her, dragging it out against her tight walls and then thrusting back in, she lets out a shout and bucks her hips again.

He bites the flesh of her inner thigh as punishment and moves his mouth back to her core before mumbling, “Be good for me, that’s it,” and earning another moan and shudder. He feels her tightening around his finger and takes it as a cue to add another, making her cry out his name.

With a few more thrusts and strokes of his tongue, he feels her tense, her legs quivering under her own weight as she lets out a high pitched, nearly silent scream, her brows woven tightly together and her jaw dropped. She’s so stunning like this, his wife, and he has to slow his ministrations over her clit so that he can get a good look at her falling apart above him.

There’s nowhere he’d rather be.

“There’s a good girl,” he says into her sensitive flesh, earning a full-body shiver and another soft, needy hum. “Alright?”

Her chest is heaving, her breasts glowing in the moonlight under a sheen of sweat, and she shakes her head. “I need you,” she says again, dragging him up to her and falling back against the wall when he stands against her. His lips find hers easily when she drags him to her, and she hums against his mouth as her tongue explores against his.

“You’re very needy,” he agrees into her mouth, earning a nod. “And I perish the thought of not delivering.”

“Good,” she mumbles. The gasp that escapes her lips when he picks her up doesn’t stop her from locking her ankles around his hips. She groans when he slides into her, and it feels like coming home. They fit so flawlessly together, he can’t help but to groan as well and drop his head to the window she’s pressed against, his lips pressing to the top of her shoulder. “ Fuck. Don’t stop.”

This is never an easy position to be in, especially with his age and with the waves of the harbor making him unsteady on his feet. Needing to support the weight of the both of them is difficult, but the way she clenched around him makes it infinitely worth it. He’s still rather fit for his age, exercising daily through his job, and he’s always glad for it when he can elicit these sounds from his wife.

She claws at his back desperately, begging to get closer to him despite it being impossible. With each thrust, she bites onto his shoulder or sucks on the lobe of his ear or kisses his neck, a moan that must be too loud meeting each drive of his hips. He pivots his hips just slightly so that he’s certain he’s supporting her weight, then moves one hand from the back of her thigh and presses his fingers to where he knows she needs him. The action earns another clench of her muscles and a cry of pleasure, his name ringing in his ear as she calls for him and tells him she’s close.

“Harder,” she begs, and it’s a clear indication that something’s happened to upset her. She doesn’t want it like this unless she’s bothered by something. Unless she’s hurt by something. He obliges, content to let her use him for the comfort that she needs as he drives into her harder, making the boat rock and creak against the dock. He’s only glad that it’s his own private property, lest the whole town hear them.

“Killian, I’m--” her words catch in her throat as the circles he draws quicken.

“Come on, angel, come for me. I want to feel you come on my cock,” he says into her ear, knowing that his words and the whispering breath on her skin will bring her to the edge.

She bites his shoulder, most definitely leaving a mark but successfully stifling her cry as she shudders around him. He feels her muscles tensing with her orgasm and he continues his ministrations on her clit for as long as he can, reveling in the jerking movements that her release is eliciting before he can’t hold on any longer. He spills into her, cursing as he does, at the feeling of her taking everything he has to offer and clinging to him as if seeking more.

They stay still for a while, longer than he can keep track of, until his legs begin to shake under the weight of the both of them and he has to release her thigh from his grip. She drops down to the deck but doesn’t let him go, continuing to hug him close to her and nestling her head into the crook of his neck. He lifts his hand to cradle her gently against him.

“I love you,” he reminds her pointlessly. She already knows.

She hums, nodding against his neck and pressing a soft kiss there, one that drastically contrasted the way she was touching him moments ago. “Sorry for jumping you. I love you, too.”

“Aye,” he laughs, scratching his fingers over her scalp in the way he knows she loves. He feels her shudder against him, either because of the sensation or because of the evening breeze blowing over her bare skin. “Is that something you’re ready to talk about?”

He feels her shaking her head immediately, before he even finishes his question, and he fights off the urge to sigh, choosing instead to hold her closer to himself and press a kiss to the top of her head. He knows if he waits long enough, she’ll sigh and give in, but at this second, she isn’t ready to talk. He’ll wait for her.

After a few moments of calming silence, the only sound between them the gentle waves lapping against the boat and the wind swirling around them, she lets out a frustrated groan and lifts her head. She stares into his eyes, the emerald jewels difficult to read. “You’re too emotionally mature for me,” she finally says as she walks into the cabin in search of a tissue.

He laughs lightly, following her closely, and responds, “You know the deal, my love. You’re only allowed to fuck me through your feelings if we talk about them afterwards.”

Rolling her eyes, she turns towards him, shamelessly exposing her nude form to him and making him wonder how it’s even possible for a man his age to shorten his refractory time. “ Way too mature.”

“Come,” he requests, holding out his hand to her once they’re cleaned up.

“I just did, thank you very much,” she responds with a smirk, one that tells him that she’s fighting tooth and nail against any conversation remotely related to her feelings.

“Twice, if I recall.” He grabs a knit blanket from the small tattered couch in the cabin and takes her hand, guiding her outside and towards the starboard side of the boat. He climbs up and onto the bow, Emma following him closely until they’re lounging in each other’s arms and he’s able to wrap the thick blanket over them. He loves her confidence, her complete comfort with herself evidenced by her silent refusal to get dressed despite them being out in the open, and he’s happy to stay naked with her if only to feel her soft skin against his.

“I love you,” she finally whispers into the quiet settled between them. “A lot.”

He pulls her impossibly closer, every part of him touching every part of her, and responds, “I know you do, darling. I’ve never doubted that.”

“I just--” she sighs, dropping her head dramatically against his chest. The moonlight shines against her hair, making it appear even more platinum than usual. “I love you. I love our life together.”

“Angel,” he breathes, “I wouldn’t trade our life together for anything, you know that.”

“I need to tell you something,” she whispers against his skin. “Something about my past… when I was young.”

“You know you can tell me anything, Emma. I’ll never judge you, especially not for something that happened when you were young.”

She stays quiet for a moment longer, her fingers gently tracing patterns over his chest and through the black and silver hair peppering over his skin. She’s always had a fascination with his chest hair, never able to keep herself from touching it when it’s exposed to her. Aside from the comfort it brings her to comb through the soft, thick hair with her fingertips, it also serves as an effective distraction against her nausea at the thought of opening up to him.

It’s ridiculous, really. He’s her husband, for goodness sake. She’s never felt this comfortable around anyone in her entire life; not her parents, not the woman who raised her. He’s successfully broken down nearly every wall she put up, and she feels the guilt settling deep in her gut as she considers breaking down this one and letting him see her whole truth.

“Killian,” she whispers against the gentle sea breeze. “I’m… I’ve never wanted kids.”

She feels him breathe out softly and nod, and she wonders what he’s thinking. Is it relief? Is it regret?

“I know, my love,” he comforts. “We’ve talked about this.”

“I know, I just… I never told you…”

“Emma, your reasonings are entirely understandable. I respect the decision you’ve made, and, as I've told you, I’m perfectly content to live out the rest of my days with you as my wife, with or without a child.”

“But would you be happier if we did have one?” she asks, suddenly needing to look him in the eyes as she presses up onto her elbows and stares. The moon glistens off of his deep irises, the darkness making them appear as though they’re the color of the ocean tonight. The way they shimmer makes her fall in love with him even more.

“What is this about?” he asks, his hand lifting to cradle her cheek, and she leans against his palm and presses a kiss to the inside of his wrist. His answer isn’t an answer, not really, and it serves only to drag out her feelings of guilt and insecurity.

She sighs and closes her eyes, entirely unable to look at him when she finally admits the truth. “When I was 16, I had a boyfriend. He was a real piece of work… I think it was part of my teenage rebellion phase.” He laughs softly, brushing his thumb over her cheek and letting her continue without interruption. “He and I… I mean… he was my first. It sucked, every time, but… I got pregnant.”

She bites her lip and opens her eyes, and she’s met with unconditional understanding.

“It’s alright,” he whispers, easily able to read the emotion she feels as she opens up to him.

“I didn’t want it; I’ve never wanted kids. And when I got pregnant at sixteen by someone who was no good for me-- not to mention too old for me at the time-- I knew that I really didn’t want kids. And I planned on giving it up for adoption because I knew I couldn’t handle raising it.” She bites her lip again, sighing and lying back down onto his chest. “I never told anyone. I thought, maybe I could hide it,” she laughs. “I never told Ingrid or Neal. I just found out and waited a few weeks and hid how shitty I felt. I just kept hoping that it wasn’t happening to me; that it was a dream and I’d wake up soon. And then…”

She gulps, tugging on the blanket so that it’s tucked under her chin, needing to be covered and held together. He reads her again and pulls her closer to him, squeezing his arms around her back and providing her with comforting pressure. “It’s alright, my love,” he repeats in a whisper.

She doesn't even realize that the tears have started to fall until she feels a warm wetness on her cheek against his chest. With a sudden sniffle, one that catches her off guard, she says, “And then one day I woke up and… it was gone. It was like I wished it away and it worked. I don’t even know how far along I was because I never went to the doctor, but it was… It was gone.”

He sighs again, his hands running up and down along her spine to gently soothe her as she breaks, crying into his chest and whimpering at the loss of something she didn’t even want in the first place. “I wanted it gone and it… I did that. It’s my fault.”

She never wanted to have children. That fact hasn’t changed. But when she found herself pregnant and wished that she wasn’t, her wish came true. And she’s never stopped regretting it.

“Emma,” he whispers, “I'm so sorry.”

“I didn’t want it,” she says again. “I wanted it to go away and then…”

“That doesn’t make your loss any less painful, love. Even though you weren’t ready to have a child, you still suffered a loss. That was still something terribly difficult that you had to go through alone.”

She nods, because he’s right. It was impossible, and she’ll never forget the feelings of guilt and regret and complete failure. With another sniffle, she says, “and today my mom asked when we’re having kids, like it's something we should be doing, and I just…”

“It made you angry. And hurt? Misunderstood, perhaps?”

“Yes,” she breathes in relief. He’s always understood her, unlike anyone she’s ever known. “And she talked about how happy Alexandra makes you and it was like she thinks I'm hurting you by not wanting kids.”

“You’re not, Emma. I promise you, you can never hurt me.”

They’re quiet for another few moments, and she lets his gentle breathing and his soothing strokes up her back and the soft waves beneath them lull her into a sense of calm. Being with him never fails to bring her back down to earth, guiding her from her fear and anger and pain and into a place of love and consolation. She can weather any storm if he’s with her.

“I never… I never want to feel like that again. I always knew that I didn’t want children, but that experience really… I mean, it really solidified that for me.”

“I know what you mean, darling. I never had a specific desire to have children myself. I would have, if you’d wanted to, but it’s never been something that I’ve found myself needing.”

She nods and wipes a rogue tear away. “I sure am lucky,” she remarks, caught in a sense of disbelief at the fact that she gets to call herself his.

“Aye, about as lucky as I am.”

“I just can’t,” she whispers after a moment. “I never wanted to, and now I just… I can’t do it.”

“I know, angel. And you never have to feel that way again, I promise.”

“I can’t,” she repeats pleadingly, her arms tightening around his middle and her nose pushing impossibly further into his neck. She’s desperate to turn it off, the anguish that tortures her too great, and he’s desperate to help her. But there’s nothing he can do but hold her and let her cry in his arms until she’s spent, powerless to stop her pain. It kills him.

He whispers that he loves her into her hair, letting anger consume him for a moment as he considers her words and the fact that her terrible, too-old-for-her boyfriend did this to her. He wants to find the man and make him pay for the sobs wracking his wife. For taking advantage of her when she was just a child and making scars that still seem fresh a decade later. It’s unfair, and he feels his anger through the tips of his fingers as he tries to console her with gentle touches and soft words, unsure of what else he could possibly do.

He’s angry with her mother, too, for the things she said. The words that reopened an old wound when it could’ve stayed closed off in the deep pits of her mind. But he knows that the only way for her to heal is to feel, despite how difficult it clearly is for her.

It’s an experience that has haunted her for years, something she won’t easily move past and may never fully get over. He understands that, can empathize with her torment and guilt over her loss, and he only hopes that being here for her is enough.

When she calms, her breathing steady again and the tears no longer dampening his skin, he feels her let out a heaving sigh and press a kiss to his chest. “I’m sorry,” she finally says, her voice croaking after her sobs.

“Please never apologize,” he begs. All he wants is for her to be open with him, something he’s requested countless times. Now she has, and he can never express to her what it means that she trusts him. “Thank you for telling me.”

She nods into his chest and hugs him close to her. “Thanks for letting me blubber,” she answers sarcastically.

“Emma,” he starts. “You know you can blubber to me about anything.”

It earns him a soft giggle, the sound ricocheting off the water and the smooth surface of the boat and landing in the cockles of his heart, warming him from the inside out.

“I know. It’s just that… Well, I know this is nothing like your brother…”

“Don’t say that,” he pleads. “We can’t compare our losses or the pain they bring us. This was painful for you. You’re allowed to feel that no matter what anyone around you has gone through.”

She nods with a dejected sigh, obviously letting exhaustion overtake her after the long day that they’ve had. Between leaving before dawn, spending the day wrestling sea monsters, and the emotional and physical activity in which they’ve just partaken, he doesn’t blame her. He feels it too, although she would point out that she’s much younger and more energetic than he is.

“You missed dinner, my love,” he points out. “Why don’t we order in? Head home and have a shower?”

“A bath,” she says softly. It’s a brilliant idea; being on the water is certainly settling a chill in their bones.

“A bath, then,” he agrees.

She remains still for a minute more before shuffling over him, lifting onto her elbows and showing him her face. She looks stunning, blackened tear tracks and swollen eyes and all. He gives her a smile, one that’s genuine and reserved only for her, and cups her cheek with his palm. She leans into it immediately and kisses the inside of his wrist again, making his heart skip a beat.

“I love you,” she whispers. “More than anything or anyone. You’re perfect.”

“If you feel that way about me, then you better not argue when I tell you I feel exactly the same about you.”

She smiles, finally, and nods into his palm. “Okay,” she concedes softly. “Can we get onion rings?”

“Naturally,” he agrees.

When they get home, he tucks her into the couch under a warm blanket, endlessly dedicated to her comfort. He presses a kiss to her forehead, lingering there for just a moment before a knock on the door interrupts them and draws him away. He answers, Ruby delivering their dinner and smirking knowingly at his disheveled sweater. They’d dressed quickly after he’d placed the order, needing to hurry home with the knowledge of how quickly Granny works.

He places the bags on the coffee table before her, removing two grilled cheeses and a large order of onion rings and giving her a smile as he returns to the kitchen to fetch some drinks. She can’t imagine their life not being like this. She can’t even begin to picture a scenario that would make her happier than this. It’s taken her plenty of time to come to terms with her feelings, the realization that not every woman needs to crave raising a child of her own. She’s realized that it doesn’t make her broken, thinking like this. It doesn’t make her a bad woman, or a bad wife.

“There we are,” he says gently when he sits beside her, leaning toward her and pressing a long kiss to her temple. “My beautiful wife and my onion rings. What could be better?” he asks sarcastically, making her chuckle and snuggle into his side.

“Nothing, I hope,” she murmurs insecurely.

“Absolutely nothing.”

Eventually, she’ll go back to her parent’s house and apologize for her rude exit. She’ll apologize to her mother for her sudden and unexplained outburst. Maybe she’ll even explain her reasoning, although she doesn’t really feel that she should need to.

But for now, she’s perfectly content to sit here on the couch with her husband, enjoying their takeout and trash TV if only because it means that they get to spend this time with one another. That’s the only thing that matters to her.

~~~~

Tagging:

@courtorderedcake @kmomof4 @stahlop @klynn-stormz @laschatzi @emelizabeth88 @lfh1226-linda @kday426 @elisethewritingbeast @timeless-love-story @captain-emmajones @gingerpolyglot @ebcaver @ilovemesomekillianjones @teamhook @superchocovian @itsfabianadocarmo @tiganasummertree @gingerchangeling @jrob64 @onceratheart18 @xhookswenchx @winterbaby89 @swampmedusa @ultraluckycatnd @dancingnancyy @love-with-you-i-have-everything @shireness-says @snowbellewells @hollyethecurious @ouatpost @daxx04 @the-darkdragonfly @donteattheappleshook @therooksshiningknight @eeteeaytay @xsajx @itsfridaysomewhere @alexa-fangirl-forever @jonesfandomfanatic @wefoundloveunderthelight @qualitycoffeethings @rapunzelsghosts @spaceconveyor @badcats-andmice @batana54 @sailtoafarawayland @deckerstarblanche @zaharadessert @xarandomdreamx

#Captain swan fanfic #Overboard ff #Weather the Storm #cs ff #captain swan fluff #captain swan smut #captain swan angst #tw miscarriage

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bakugouisabitch · 3 years

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nono, i care about your very specific highschool au. rant about it please.

dgslsjs omg youu 🥺

well if you insist.... ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

okay, i once had a discord group which i miss sm rip where i shared some ideas from that AU so i’m basically gonna repeat them here now shsjs under the read more 👇

this AU includes both Maliks as siblings (+ Isis and Rishid ofc) and both Bakuras as siblings too. The two Yamis are the elder brothers of the non-Yamis so they also have their own name ofc.

For Yami Malik I’d go with Amir cause the name is beautiful and fits him somehow (it means ‘prince’ or ‘chief’). This AU is literally so self-indulgent where I can finally write Amir just how I picture him in my head as the funny himbo he is, who makes some creepy jokes at times but is generally a nice guy and is just constantly stoned sdfgskh

For Yami Bakura i haven’t thought of a name yet 🙃 He’s low key the protag and I still don’t have a name for him 👏 good work, Ziggy 👏 I was thinking about something that makes his initials still be YB so a name with Y actually (Yamato maybe ?) Everyone calls him Bakura/Bakura-kun anway and they mostly call Ryou “the little Bakura”/Bakura-chan (affectionately) since he is the little brother ahsksfsj

In this AU Amir and YB are like really close friends. They are classmates in their last year together and they are known for being trouble makers. But not just like Honda and Jounouchi in the anime - they are worse than that. They have risked being expelled many times and smoke on the school’s rooftops and even hang out with older guys who sell illegal shit and such (it’d be tw for drugs ofc). OH and lots of spray painting on public places 👊 They are really best buds and bonded over same interests and music taste and same hate for the society and family and such. This fanart was a major inspiration to write these two as high school best buddies.

Also, I did a quick redraw of the typical anime boys sleeping in the classroom pose with these two. That’s them:

(might finish it one day and post it seperately idk my motivation is swinging lately 🤷)

All their “criminal” behaviour ofc stems from a sad background/past because i’m just a sucker for angst and i keep making my boys suffer 😔 i’m sorry. Every guy in this AU has daddy issues or just family issues in general

YB is VERY overprotective over his little brother Ryou (who’s just two years younger than him, and just like Malik, starts his first high school year in Domino High School). He is literally responsible for raising him up because ever since they lost their mother and Amane (Ryou’s twin sister) at a very young age their father fell into a very deep depression and he’s constantly away “for work” and just generally neglects his two remaining sons. YB hates their father because of that so he has taken it as his own responsibility to make sure Ryou is always safe and protected and acts like the parent in their home (where there is usually just the two of them). Also, another self indulgent thing here: YB being an ass with everyone except for being an overprotective good big brother for Ryou 🥺 please! so cute!! (They ride a bike together on their way to school like this fanart)

The Ishtar’s parents are both dead. Their mother died when giving birth to the youngest one (Malik) and their father died under very tragic circumstances (still gotta think how 🤔 it definitely wasn’t Amir tho’) and they used to have a very abusive household thus why Amir HATES their dad. Contrary to Malik, who keeps saying he deserved a second chance and was a good father and wishes he could have made him proud ~ this always makes Amir and Malik fight amongst other things and this is what also bonds Amir and YB so much: the hate for their old man.

It would be a very psychological AU that deals with a lot of issues and shit and traumas the boys have to live with + adding all the typical teenage angst at that age so it’s CHAOS. and I’d also have the perfect soundtrack/playlist for it 💆‍♀️ (it would be set in the 90s)

Ofc it’d be bakumali because I can’t help myself (and maybe also Ryou x Amir as a side pairing 👀)

Since it’s Malik’s first year in domino high school he wants to be recognised as one of the “cool kids” and befriend the older boys from the class. he just hates it that his big brother (Amir) is always there as well. Compared to the Bakuras these two have much more of a turbulent kind of relationship going on as siblings, where they constantly fight and Amir says Malik “ruined” the family whenever their fights get harsher and Malik says father never loved him anyway. Isis and Rishid try to keep the family and the boys under control as young adults but it’s hard 😔

YB visits the Ishtars sometimes to hang out with Amir in his room where they listen to music, smoke weed, and play PS and such and this is when Malik “spies” on YB. he thinks his big brother’s friend looks so cool with his ripped jeans and eyeliner and black nail polish. One night YB and Amir are smoking weed in Amir’s room and playing PS when Malik would use the chance. He’d piss Amir off and tell him it’s his turn to take the trash out on purpose to make him leave his room. Ofc Amir says no but then Malik “threatens” him with “I will tell sister you smoke weed if you don’t take the trash out”. And so Amir leaves (slamming the door behind him like an unruly teenager and saying he’s gonna kill Malik) and leaves a stoned YB alone in his room. And this is when Malik uses the chance to be alone with a very confused and very stoned YB who wonders why Amir’s little brother seems to be so interested in him sdfghjkl and yea this is basically their first encounter.

Malik has basically a kind of obvious “fangirl crush” for YB but the latter is so confused why and what he even sees in him. Because for him there’s nothing “cool” in skipping school and breaking the rules, it’s just the only thing he knows. But for Malik this is the coolest shit he’s ever seen.

this little sketch i made kinda shows my idea for their relationship in this AU better sdfghjk:

Malik befriends Ryou (who is in his same class and school year) out of convenience ofc cause he wants to get closer to YB. Yes Malik is a lil bitch in this AU. And Ryou is like extremely nice and polite, he’s the weird silent kid who doesn’t have a lot of friends and lives in his own world. He falls victim to bullies a lot and YB also keeps that rough facade to make sure no one messes with him. Ryou befriends Malik and tries to answer all of the weird, intimate questions he has of his big brother...

One night I, like, imagined a scenario where Amir and YB are out spray-painting a wall behind the station with some other thugs and Malik and Ryou followed them secretly (it was all Malik’s plan) even if Ryou was totally contrary to the idea. Once they see the guys have drugs and alcohol Ryou wants to leave, but Malik says this is exactly what makes it exciting and joins them without warning. When Amir and YB see Malik they panic, wondering what he is doing here. Amir gets particularly pissed off and wants to just leave. ofc YB tells him he can’t just leave his young brother alone in a place like this with people like that. But Amir ignores him (and this will lead to one of the first big fights between the two best buddies 😔 they will punch each other. I told you it will have a lot of angst)

Anyway at the end Amir leaves and YB is decent enough to bring both Ryou and Malik home but then Malik insits on wanting to crash at their place. So YB is like “i guess??” And they spend the night together at the Bakura’s place :) YB takes the couch and leaves his bed for Malik to sleep in but Malik will have none of that ofc sgksksj

Okay sorry for boring you, I could go on forever with so many scenarios of this AU or like actually sit down and write it... and yea.. that’s it.... just angsty and misunderstood boys in a shitty society with shitty parents trying to find a sense with their lives 🥺

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multistoty · 2 years

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❣For the ship meme, Klauffy (Buffy and Klaus)

Who’s the cuddler? In public, the both of them has a tough exterior though things like holding hands or putting an arm around one's shoulder is an occasional public move. They make themselves known to be important to one another, but not to tempt enemies or make themselves targets even with mutual respect though in the compound with friends and family- Klaus absolutely snuggles up with her or puts his arms around her waist. Who makes the bed? When in anxiety, Klaus falls prey to sometimes tidying as his parentage creates. It's a rarity, but he grew up feeling like nothing which meant that he wished for acceptance in any form. Just like Elijah. It's the occasional glimpse of the viking boy. Though mostly it's a gentle love message from the slayer even if it was force of habit. Buffy respects and cares for him which warms the cold dead heart of a murderous vampire. Who wakes up first? Klaus has never allowed himself to sleep beside any women or lover wether it was paranoid or not. It is vunerability beyond measure which he gives her willingly. The safety of her arms meaning the world. he's used to running on fumes of sleep and quite likes watching the shadows the sun makes dance on her soft, angel like features. A few sketches and paintings of that joyful scene. Who has the weird taste in music? Both pf them have their own music to tease about. Klaus having some of the tastes reflecting his age and Buffy more popular or angsty that joins Hope and Hayley's dance party with. Who is more protective? before they even broached anything even the tangling of limbs, Klaus made his feelings plain by insisting on her safety more than a game piece to be used for his ulterior motives, but feelings he can't understand. He almost feels murderous sometimes that the blonde is so brave and ready to throw herself into the fray no matter what he has to say even if he is grateful for it and ,occasionally, proud of her. Both protect those that they love. Who sings in the shower? The mikealson boy had teased the vampire hunter every time it happens though he secretly treasures it with amusement. They were a partnership flaws and all and this thing was adorable Who cries during movies? Buffy only because Klaus doesn't cry to often or it would get him run through with a white oak stake by now. Plus she is the one to teach him about pop culture beyond his classical art and high brow entertainment. Who spends the most while out shopping? Klaus is a millionaire with expensive tastes. He isn't one to shop himself besides ordering minions about, but he would not hear of his love not being given everything that she could want just as she deserved. plus But was used to being a teenager with the world on her shoulders and finances to match. Who kisses more roughly? Klaus is usually the one to initiate a kiss or more. His hunger never sated and the want to devour and worship the woman he loves begins though Buffy doesn't seem to mind much when they are locked together. Who is more dominant? Klaus is a wolf that usually seeks to claim a lover though that was before he fell in love with his beautiful blonde queen who ends up taking charge even if his lips curved up in a boyish grin. Buffy made him feel like the viking boy that he once was which was not that man with thousands of willing lovers throughout the centuries. Normally, no one could order the original hybrid around without the benefit of a heart. My rating of the ship from 1-10. 10. Klaus deserves a partner who challenges and makes him better and I enjoyed the way such two strong personalities thawed for one another. Buffy is there for Hope and is apart of the change. She knows what a mantle of history is or what a savior entails. Klaus is used to being abandoned if he doesn't force someone to stay though he would never leave. They fought it so much though the pull was undeniable.

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peeterparkr · 5 years

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How about Dick and reader used to date but Dick broke it off because she deserved better or some BS! Titans don’t know and they’re all drinking and playing never have I ever to get Dick drunk by saying “never have I been in the bay cave” or “never have I driven the batmobile” but reader keeps drinking too then they say “never have I waltzed” and both dick and reader drink and she admits dick taught her and they have to dance to prove it and it’s angsty/cute as they’re clearly in love still!!!

warnings: drinking, swearing

word count: 2.3k

Still Burning. Dick Grayson x Reader

I SERIOUSLY LOVED WRITING THIS ONE!!!

Nobody can really answer how to heal a broken heart. Had you known, you wouldn’t be trapped in such a mess. But you chose to hide it. That’s the best one does sometimes. Where do they go? Our feelings, the broken hearts? They remain there, silently making you remember and stabbing with memories that will make you hold on forever.

Dick was one of those stories you liked to keep to yourself. He did, too. Sometimes it’s difficult to admit it. Maybe it was for the best. But sometimes, you liked to remember that smile, which you barely saw anymore.

It was difficult. But it was for the best.

It truly was. Especially because both of you had decided to, for sometime, keep away from each other. You had your reasons. He said he had become too much like someone he once admired. He said you deserved better, but did you?

You were both made out of the same piece, but carved with a different sight. But it hurt to know that you were only someone he would ignore, that he wouldn’t talk about anymore. And it hurt to think that you could still taste his lips on the tip of your tongue. And it would’ve been easier to move on had he not searched for you to help him. Donna had warned you he’d come. Dawn, too. Everyone warned you he’d come back. But he didn’t come they way you expected him to.

And he eventually did come and ask for help, because that’s what you were supposed to do, always. Help each other. Because that’s who you were first and foremost. Friends who helped each other. Even after all the fights. Even after he broke your heart. He didn’t come to fix your broken heart.

Dick said his biggest talent involved leaving. You said it was coming up with bullshit to leave.

But you still remembered your teenage years, escaping together and rushing everywhere. Lifting your hands up in the air while he blasted your favorite music. You remembered your first kiss and the way he had blushed after it. You remembered the fights and the good times. But you also remembered how he broke up with you on your 21st birthday, breaking your heart as you were left with a dozen roses on your hands but a million tears coming from your eyes.

But there you were now, with a beer on your hand, as you had your legs crossed. You needed time to relax, you barely did that anymore. It was always helping out someone, or taking someone down. But Dick and you barely talked about the past. You used to work with each other, that was the statement.

You stared at him, he was relaxed. You hadn’t done this in a while, just sit down and have a beer. Kory brought up a tequila bottle, too. The younger ones were too busy eating flaming hot Cheetos.

“You guys are boring,” commented Jason Todd, watching as you were sipping from your beer. You listened to the faint music playing on the background.

“Are we?” Kory asked. The music sounded glitched.

“Very,” Gar agreed. “You just drink.”

You let out a soft laugh. “Adults do that, we just have enough trouble already that we just… drink it.”

“No need to make stupid excuses like when we were young, no beer pong, no card games,” Dick continued. “Just…drinking.”

“Hm,” Rachel laughed before taking a bite of her waffle. “I think we should play never have I ever.”

You laughed, “haven’t played that one in a while.”

Dick frowned. “Those games end up on trying to get only someone in particular drunk.”

To which Jason smirked, he poured a glass of soda for him, Rachel and Gar. Rachel and Gar joined you at the table.

Jason brought shot glasses for Dick, Kory and you. Kory and you gave each other a glance.

“No, not doing this.” Dick rolled his eyes.

“Oh come on, Dick, relax a little,” Kory chuckled, “don’t you remember doing this kind of stuff in your teenage years? Stupid games?”

You stared at him, remembering all the times you used to have that kind of fun.

“Didn’t you have any fun?” Pushed Jason. “Is that why you’re always so grumpy?”

“I had fun,” Dick cleared his throat, quickly glancing at you.

You chuckled. “Fine, fill it up.”

Jason poured the three of you tequila, and then changed the song, a familiar guitar sounded. Let it Rock by The Rolling Stones started playing.

“Fine, Let’s start with something…. Rach? You wanna start?” Jason suggested.

Rachel chuckled, and rolled her eyes. “Never…”she gave it a thought. “Never have I ever eaten dog or cat food.”

“Am I supposed to—do something if I have?” Gar asked. He drank from his soda.

“Oh my god!” You laughed. “Why am I not surprised?”

Gar laughed. “Well, well, it’s my turn now… never have I ever… met Batman.”

“Oh, come on,” Dick rolled his eyes.

“Bottoms up, Grayson,” Jason said as he took a sip and Dick drank from his shot. You took a sip as well.

“You’ve met Batman?” Asked Kory.

You winked. “Yeah, we were on a first name basis and everything,” you chuckled, Dick looked away. “But yeah. I once worked with Batman.”

“Worked?” Jason blinked. “With?”

You took a sip from your beer. “Oh sorry, you felt special?”

Jason nodded. “Well I kind of did.”

Dick rolled his eyes. “Keep up with it.”

Maybe you were meant to be just as damaged as Dick was, but you had decided to move on. You never wanted to be bossed around.

“Never have I ever…” Kory started. “Driven the batmobile.”

Jason laughed as he shook his head. “He never let me.”

Dick took another shot, you took another one, too.

Rach raised her eyebrow at you. “What?”

You just winked at her.

“No, wait I wanna know why!” Jason laughed.

“Oh—“you laughed. Dick turned red. “I—well, you know, Gotham had —this thing, and Batman—or maybe it was—This other thing and when it happened I—I drove it.”

You were such a bad liar. But they didn’t push it. And you only stared at Dick, who took a deep breath.

You were taken back to that one time. Where Dick let you drive it, you were sitting on his lap and you remembered how fast it went, only seeing the lights passing through. You remembered screaming with pure joy and excitement and adrenaline. You remembered how you felt his hands on yours while you were crossing Gotham city, and how your stomach was filled with butterflies, and how his head was on your shoulder. And maybe this exact song was playing, or something familiar to it, because piano was trembling in your ears.

“Never have I ever… been in the bat cave,” laughed Gar.

Jason laughed. “I’m so glad this is Dr. Pepper.”

Dick scoffed and took another shot. “Ha ha.” He rolled his eyes.

You took a shot, too. How many times hadn’t you sneaked on to the Batcave, and done stupid childish stuff. Like playing 80’s music and dancing to it. ‘I think we’re alone now’ was one you remembered the most. It was fun. Neither of you were good dancers but it was worth it.

And they said some others.

And you continued. It seemed to be innocent enough. Start me up was now playing in the background.

The game was a constant throwing at everyone, making sure Dick was getting completely wasted. Problem was, some, if not most of them dragged you with them as well, you had spent so much time with him.

And you were both wasted, and your giggling had started. He had loosened up, too, and somehow you both ended up with your feet on the couch, trying to avoid

“Ah, come on, come on,” Dick pushed. “Can we stop making fun of my life?”

“Mr. Millionaire, we are soooorry Master Grayson,” Kory mocked, slightly drunk herself. You laughed, watching Dick. You hadn’t been this close since your breakup.

But you knew you were still smitten with him, he could tell,you guessed. He still knew you, perfectly. And he knew that even the way he was holding his cold beer had you thinking. How cruel was it that you had to avoid even staring at him when he once loved you.

“Never have I ever—waltzed,” Gar smirked, the music had finally stopped.

Dick chuckled. “Fuck off, man,” he rolled his eyes, before taking a sip.

You looked down at your drink and then took a sip.

“You’ve waltzed?” Kory laughed. “What have you been hiding from us? I didn’t know you had that many things in common with Grayson?”

Maybe it was the alcohol speaking for itself but you stared at Dick. “Yeah, he—he,” you shrugged. “He actually taught me how to waltz.”

Dick took a deep breath, running his hand through his face.

“He did?” Rach questioned.

You shrugged. “Yeah, he’s a great dancer.”

“Show us, I don’t quite believe it,” sassed Kory.

Dick rolled his eyes. “I think we’ve had enough.” He stood up, nervously. It seemed like every time you had both had a shot, he was getting more and more nervous, like someone was stabbing him each time with more memories. But you didn’t understand why he was angry, he was the one who blew things off.

You shook your head. “You’ll have to take my word for it.”

“I really don’t believe it,” Rach pushed.

You shrugged. “I wouldn’t either.”

“C’mon, show us!” Kory pushed.

“Yes, what could you lose? I want to see the amazing Richard Grayson waltzing, and I want to see how great a teacher he was,“said Garfield.

Dick blushed slightly. “No, it’s alright,” Dick grinned. “Let’s… let’s see if they can learn a thing or two.”

You shook your head. “You don’t have to do this.”

Dick smiled at you, standing up. “No, no, you know they won’t shut up if we don’t do it,” he was drunk, you could tell by his raspy voice as he offered you a hand. You laughed, shaking your head but he pleaded again. “Please?”

“Fine,” you gave him your hand as he helped you stand up.

Dick watched them. “It’s not that complicated to waltz,” Dick explained. “Not really,” he continued as he placed himself in front of you. “The lady places herself slightly to the left of the leading gentleman,” he informed as he moved just a bit to your right. You stared at his eyes and then at his lips, you saw him gulp. “Six basic steps, and… you’re good.”

“Should we bring in a candle?” you chuckled. And he grinned.

“Ah, yes, yes,” Dick laughed. “Bring in a candle, that’s a good idea since we’re both wasted.”

You sighed. “But it wouldn’t matter if you’re with…”

“The perfect partner,” He finished your sentence, a faint smile forming. “Yeah.”

“What’s that about?” Questioned Kory.

“Well, you see… They use a… a candle, it’s the true test, one has to be as swift, and perfect and so delicate and so smooth, but the candle flame will not be extinguished in the hand of the leading partner,” he explained.

“Let’s bring in a candle!” Jason ordered. “Let’s put them to the test.”

Kory laughed to herself. “You’re joking, right?”

But Jason had brought in a candle already, they lit it up and Dick picked it up. He placed it within your hands and he took a deep breath.

“We might… um we might need some music,” he asked, while not taking his eyes off of yours. “Waltz number two by Dmitri Shostakovich,” said Dick and Rachel played it on the stereo.

His hand was finally placed on your back, and you gently posed yours on his shoulder as soon as the first notes started to play. You felt like all the alcohol had been sucked out of your body. But he smoothly started to dance around the room. You knew they were staring as he kept leading you as you danced, and it felt like the old times. But it felt like you were both trying to prove something to each other, as if you were both dancing away from the memories or as if you both were trying to hide from everyone else. As if you were both accusing each other with the dance, having a conversation each time you stepped, he was trying to apologize and you were trying to beg him to come just slightly closer. His eyes were fierce and dark and he wouldn’t take them off you, but you would turn away sometimes.

And the world was spinning around you, and the flame had not extinguished, it had remained firing. And you felt like burning but it wasn’t the candle, it was another type of flame growing in within. And your heart had started to spin. And you had forgotten you weren’t at the manor anymore, and you weren’t wearing that red dress you’d worn that time. But you’d forgotten it, you were back there where there was a constant smile on his face and where you didn’t even worry about everyone else noticing that tinge of redness on your cheeks. Because it was mutual.

The song stopped abruptly and you saw the candle.

It was still burning.

You then saw him, as you hadn’t seen him in years. He stepped back still holding the candle and you got your hands off of him.

Everyone stayed quiet, as you awkwardly stepped back.

“Oh, look the… the candle is still burning,” Gar commented as to distract everyone from the clear elephant in the room.

You smiled at Dick.

He blushed. “Yeah, it still is.”

part two

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dismissingpudding · 4 years

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league of villains music tastes

Shigaraki: the league made a shared playlist and that's mostly what he listens to. sometimes dabi adds songs and shigaraki takes them off without telling him

Dabi: anything angsty or edgy—unironically but if anyone makes fun of him he'll say it's ironic or he just likes how the song sounds. bonus points for screaming and/or raunchy lyrics

Toga: punk bands with female lead singers. she likes songs that are fun and dark at the same time

Kurogiri: he really likes piano but he doesn't have any specific songs that he listens to

Twice: the same kind of classic rock songs that alt teenagers have soft spots for

Mr. Compress: I feel like he mainly listens to music to help him fall asleep but he likes the league's shared playlist as well

Mange: similar to twice's music taste but with more variety. she tends to just add songs she likes to one large playlist

#bnha #bnha headcanons #bnha league of villains #league of villains #league of villains headcanons #tomura shigaraki #bnha dabi #himiko toga #dabi headcanons #shigaraki headcanons #mr compress #kurogiri #bnha twice #bnha magne #random headcanons #headcanons #music headcanons

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novanekoma · 4 years

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never mine

part 1 to this series is here!

☼ never mine

☼ tetsuro kuroo x fem!reader

☼ song: August by Taylor Swift

☼ summary: When she finally had him, it was everything she could have dreamed of. Until she realized, he was never really hers to begin with.

☼ status: ongoing

☼ genre: angst, teenage love

☼ warnings: cheating, cursing, some slight suggestive themes

☼ word count: 2.1k

☼ disclaimer: haikyuu, the music and any other assets used in this fic, DO NOT belong to me, all credit goes to their respective owners

☼ A/N: I’ve been feeling pretty angsty today, and this is what came of it! There is a part 3 from the reader’s side of things coming! I’m also working on a Bakugou (smut) fic that should be out sometime soon as well!

☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼

“All I wanted was him, to be with him, to be his.”

“I fooled myself, thinking I just needed to get him away from her.”

“But once I had him, I quickly realized he would never truly be mine.”

☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼

Salt air And the rust on your door I never needed anything more Whispers Of "Are you sure?" "Never have I ever before"

She never wanted to be the other woman, she never wanted to be the one to steal someone else’s love. But as Kuroo kissed her in the back of his car, fingers tangling into her hair, she found she didn’t care so much anymore. All she could feel was euphoria as her fingers wrapped around his neck, pressing herself closer, bodies tangling as she allowed herself to get lost in his intoxicating taste, into everything she had ever wanted.

Of course you were in the back of her mind, when all this started she knew who you were, she knew who you were to him, but as she fell deeper, the more she didn’t care. For a short period of time, she got to call him hers, she had a little piece of the man who always had her heart. She craved those late summer nights, where it was just the two of them, her and Kuroo, dancing in the moonlight and kissing under the stars.

Honestly, she really didn’t remember how any of this started. Summer was approaching and she fully intended on keeping her feelings to herself, maybe finding someone new to get over him. But then, she heard you two had gotten into a fight and there he was, walking home one night without you and without Kenma.

The rest was history.

But I can see us Lost in the memory August slipped away into a moment in time 'Cause it was never mine And I can see us twisted in bedsheets August sipped away Like a bottle of wine 'Cause you were never mine

This summer had been the best one, right before their third year. You had gone away for the last month of summer to visit some family back in Miyagi, and she had heard the rumours, she knew you and Kuroo were still together, you still got to call him yours, and he you, but she also heard that you were taking a break during this final month apart. Taking a break, she had scoffed when she heard that, you may as well have broken up. And when she saw him standing alone, vulnerable, and walking down that cobblestone street, she took a leap of faith.

Your back Beneath the sun Wishing I could write my name on it Will you call when you're back at school? I remember thinking I had you

Lazy days in the park were her favourite. She would pack a lunch and a blanket and Kuroo would find the perfect spot away from prying eyes and they would lay together in the afternoon sun. Never usually talking, and she was oblivious to the faraway look in his eyes, after all she was the one who sat between his legs, laying against his chest, his arms were wrapped around her waist, as she listened to his heartbeat. His attention was on her, wasn’t it? What more could she ask for? She was the one stealing kisses from him and entwining their fingers whenever she had the chance.

In this moment, he was hers.

“Kuroo?”

Hazel eyes turned from looking at the horizon and towards her instead, she moved to straddle his waist, arms moving to wrap around his neck and tangle into the familiar bed headed mess of black hair. A light hum of acknowledgement came from him, she ignored the hesitant way his arms wrapped around her, focusing only on the warmth it was providing her.

“Are you happy?” she would ask, fingers playing with the locks tangled in her fingers. Her eyes bore into his, studying his face, every movement, how his lips turned into a small smile, hazel eyes only briefly meeting hers before tugging her closer, lips pressing against hers as she smiled into his kisses, her question always completely forgotten as she lost herself in Kuroo.

The last time she and Kuroo were together, they were laying in her bed. She was in her usual place on his chest as a movie played in the background on her laptop. His hand lay on his chest, with hers perched on top. Fingers almost intertwined, and she was content. Lost in her thoughts of the coming year, of more moments spent together like this, she ignored the little voice in the back of her head, ignoring the way Kuroo took his hand out from hers and placed it behind his head.

She rolled on top of him, hands cupping his cheeks as she brought him in for another kiss. Feeling the euphoria she always felt when she touched him, feelings his lips move against hers, the small sigh that escaped him when she shifted on top of him for better access. Her tongue running against his lips, asking for more access, she wanted more of him, as much as she could get her hands on. She wouldn’t let him slip through her fingers.

As August bled into September, she should have known it was too good to be true.

Back when we were still changing for the better Wanting was enough For me, it was enough To live for the hope of it all Cancel plans just in case you'd call And say "Meet me behind the mall" So much for summer love, and saying "Us" 'Cause you weren't mine to lose You weren't mine to lose No

“You can’t keep doing this to yourself.”

An answering sigh was all she gave as her friend glared through the phone screen.

“I have him right where I want him,” she replied, her friend let out an irritated tsk.

“Has he called yet?”

Her silence spoke volumes.

“Come on, you’ve been cancelling on me for days now, and he still hasn’t called you.”

She didn’t answer right away, swiping from facetime so she could check her messages, a small frown tugging on her features when she pressed on Kuroo’s conversation and didn’t see any new messages.

“See,” her friend grumbled when she came back to facetime, “This isn’t healthy.”

“It’s the first week of school, he’s busy with prep, we’re third years now,” she said, it sounded like a plausible excuse.

Her friend sighed, green eyes studying, “You know, y/n is coming back this week too. I heard from Inari.”

She sucked in a sharp breath, of course you would be coming back, you were a third year as well. She heard you had been tangled up with something back in Miyagi and would be coming back a few days after the semester started.

Narrowed eyes studied her, “Does y/n know?”

“He’s mine, there’s nothing she needs to concern herself with.” Her tone lacked the confidence of her words.

Another frustrated sigh from her friend, “You do know they didn’t actually break up.”

The hope she had building in her chest was still strong, “They will,” she said confidently, continuing to ignore the little doubt that was bubbling in the pit of her stomach, she knew that whether or not Kuroo was texting her, he was still hers, and it wouldn’t be her heart that was broken.

Right?

She should have known better, the minute you came back it was truly over.

She watched as you walked the hallways with your friends, she still hadn’t seen you and Kuroo together, and there was nothing flittering around the rumour mill. But she knew that wasn’t something that would last, your friend, Inari, would glare every time she saw her, immediately steering you in another direction.

She knew. Of course she knew, everyone did, and it wouldn’t be too long until you did too.

She saw Kuroo around the hallways as well, hazel eyes never quite catching hers as he walked by. Her heart constricted as she watched him, his eyes were glued to your back, always finding your form no matter how far apart the two of you were. His face would flush whenever he saw you, a forlorn look in his eyes as a smile would always tug on his features.

He looked at you like you were the world.

She supposed though, that to him, that’s exactly what you were.

It was never going to be her.

'Cause you were never mine Never mine Do you remember? Remember when I pulled up And said "Get in the car" And then canceled my plans Just in case you'd call Back when I was living for the hope of it all For the hope of it all "Meet me behind the mall"

It wasn’t until a week later that she heard the news of the breakup.

Kuroo permanently had this lost puppy look on his expression, and it worsened every time he saw you. And you, well you didn’t look any better. The happy smiles during your first week back were now few and far between and you avoided Kuroo like the plague. She heard you even switched homerooms.

She also heard from some classmates that you were throwing a party, all third years were invited, and she wondered if that included her and Kuroo. Maybe this was the opening she needed, she and him would be the outcasts, the only ones not invited.

That was until she got the invite, and the rumour mill spilled that Kuroo received one too.

Her heart ached, the party wasn’t for another few weeks, but it was only one week until Kuroo decided to call her.

“I’m sorry,” his voice was scratchy, like maybe he had been crying. His usual crazy bedhead seemed flat, dark circles were prominent under his eyes and the usual bright and mischief filled eyes were dull, it almost made her want to cry with how hollow they seemed.

She sighed, “I’m sorry too,” she murmured. At the end of the day, she knew he was in this mess because of her, she also knew that he wasn’t fully blameless, she didn’t force him into anything, but if she had just left well enough alone…

Then maybe they both wouldn’t be feeling so empty right now.

“You were vulnerable and I knew that.” She admitted, feeling her heart crack as he nodded in agreement.

Kuroo sighed, a hand reaching up to scrub at his face, “We both messed up, I should have said no,” he murmured. The apology was clear in his eyes, and she felt her heart shatter even more.

There was more silence between them and she sighed.

There was just one thing she needed to know, “Were you happy?”

A soft sad smile crept onto his features, “As I could be,” he answered, each word was sincere, but she could hear the silent apology. She wished she could feel his arms around her one more time.

She ended the call, and finally let the tears flow.

She knew what he meant.

Remember when I pulled up And said "Get in the car" And then canceled my plans Just in case you'd call Back when I was living for the hope of it all (For the hope of it all) For the hope of it all For the hope of it all For the hope of it all For the hope of it all

The night of the party she watched him walk down the familiar cobblestone towards your house, and the last of her hope finally left her. She watched as you opened the door, your eyes wide and surprised to see him there, there was a beat of silence and she saw Kuroo’s hands clench at his sides. You spoke to someone behind you before ushering Kuroo outside and closing the door behind yourself. It was only when she watched you take his hand and disappear behind the house that she turned around and began to walk home.

A weight fell on her chest as she blinked away her tears, she knew she needed to come to terms with things before Monday rolled around again, and as memories of moonlight kisses and warm summer nights played through her mind, she knew.

It was never going to be her.

#haikyuu #haikyuu x female reader #haikyuu x reader #kuroo #kuroo tetsurou #kuroo tetsuro scenarios #kuroo tetsuro angst #angst #cheating #HQ!!#hq #songfic

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tired0artist · 4 years

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sing to me (part four)

<<part one>> <<part two>> <<part three>>

paring: female!V x Johnny Silverhand

summary: a street kid V falls in love with SAMURAI music and idolises Johnny Silverhand. years later she finally understands the saying “never meet your idols”

warnings: angst and fluff, Johnny being a dick as always, arguments, V plays the guitar, MORE JOHNNY AND V ACTION IN THIS ONE!!!, references to death, badass V, more/different warnings in the future parts

note: I’m describing my V, but you can imagine her however you want tho

•SAMURAI fan V (street kid)•

V was mad. No. She was fucking furious.

She drove back to her apartment, her whole body in pain. There was dry blood on her temple and her left arm was seriously bruised.

But well. That would happen when someone is fingering some drunk whore, while she’s driving and then has an accident.

V walked inside her apartment and wished that she had that old door that she could slam. She immediately took off her clothes and went to take a shower.

Her body was covered in bruises not only from the car crash but the fight in the male bathroom. She wanted to scream at something. Or rather someone.

She left the bathroom after patching her temple wound. It needed only two stitches so she could handle it.

Then she dressed herself in some comfy and soft clothes, drank some well needed water and laid down on her bed.

V slept for at least two hours. She ordered some food and sat down on her couch, still feeling worse than shit and still full of anger.

“Why’d you order Mexican? Pizza or Chinese would be way better”

She opened her eyes to see Johnny sitting on her couch, both legs on her coffee table.

“You don’t have a say in this. Not after the shit you pulled last night” she said, gritting her teeth in anger.

He rolled his eyes “Come on, kid. What’s the big deal? I just had some fun while getting info”

That made her stand up from where she was sitting on her bed. V pointed at him nearly screaming “Some fun?! Johnny that was way more than some fun! Drinking? I can handle, cool, fine in my book. But taking drugs, in my body. Without my consent. While I’m on fuck knows what pills to let you take the control?! That was fucked up. And then you finger some chick, while she’s driving and have a car accident! Think a bit Johnny, I beg you to think. Because you weren’t putting only yourself in danger. But me too”

Johnny was silent as he stared at the angry woman. He doesn’t remember the last person who screamed at him with such anger. Even Alt or Rogue never were angry at him so much that they were basically vibrating with it. With them it was mostly some yelling and then a lot of sex, after that they were cool. But with V, it won’t work that way.

He really fucked that up didn’t he?

“V I—“

“Shut up. I don’t want to hear from you now. I will keep my promise. I’ll kill Smasher for you and work with Rogue. But that was the last time, that I willingly let you use my body. So go ahead and ghost off, Johnny”

And he did just that. He went back to sitting around in her subconsciousness.

V took and deep breath and went to take some painkillers, to maybe stop the banging in her head. Or the ache around her heart. That she didn’t know if was because of the feeling of betrayal, the relic or all the drugs, alcohol and Misty’s pills Johnny mixed yesterday.

The food arrived soon and V managed to at least eat half of it. Which was a win in her eyes, seeing how she started loosing weight ever since the relic stopped her from keeping anything down.

She cleaned up and put the rest of her take out in her small fridge, for later. After eating a bit, V started feeling better, so with a new found strength she took her guitar.

Sitting down on her bed she started strumming softly, eyes closed. Finally feeling relaxed.

But not for long it would seem.

“V”

“I told you to go away. I don’t want to even look at you for now”

“Come on, V. I—“

V opened her eyes to stare at him coldly as he was leaning against the wall, where he first appeared.

Instead of replying, V started playing her guitar loudly and aggressively. The sound bouncing off the walls, as the electric guitar was finally used to it’s full potential. V’s fingers were skilfully moving, her eyes closed as she smirked.

Johnny was impressed. He knew the kid could play but, he didn’t know just how well. Still he rolled his eyes saying.

“You know that this won’t drown me out. I’m in your head”

V didn’t answer, pretending that she didn’t hear him over the sound of her guitar.

“Come on, V. Stop acting like a angsty teenager and let me talk”

This caused V to snort as she picked up the pace, playing even louder.

Johnny was irritated. He didn’t like to feel ignored. He clenched his fists and took a deep breath.

“I’m sorry”

That made her stop and let out a tired breath “Sorry won’t cut it for the shit you pulled, Johnny. You didn’t break my favourite vase, you used my body and lied to me”

Johnny shuffled his feet, apologising was new for him. He didn’t exactly know what to say next, so he said the true truth.

“I planned to go partying from the start. I thought that you wouldn’t let me, so I just did it behind your back. I figured that you’d be mad but I didn’t care. I didn’t think”

V stared at him, bitting her lip. She still was mad but the whole situation now made her more tired.

“You rarely do, Johnny. You’re a selfish dick. I keep on giving and giving. I’m trying to be nice to you, cause I know that it’s not easy for you. Sure I yell at you sometimes, but you drive me crazy. Either way I can feel that it’s not easy for you” she said quietly and out loud.

She looked down and continued “But fuck Johnny. It’s not easy for me either. Everyday I wake up and my first thought is that how long do I have, before I die. Then I go to the shower and all my brain can think about is that I’m not alone in there, that you can see and feel everything. Sometimes I look into my mirror and all I can see is you. I eat things that I never liked. I drink things that I would rather die than taste and I like them. Fuck. Even the way I play my guitar is starting to become more like you than me. Everyday I feel like I’m loosing myself, Johnny... And still I’m giving you a hundred. I’m giving you my body even if it scares the living hell out of me. And you fuck me over”

Johnny looked away from the woman who said that would take a bullet for him. Who really, is giving him a hundred.

Guilt was eating him alive. He regretted the whole thing. He failed her. He fucked her over, because that’s what he was used to doing. He didn’t even think what kind of a trust she gave him that night.

“I really regret it... I’m sorry V. I really am, no bullshit here” he said honestly, his voice softer than ever.

V only smiled sadly “I know you are. But what’s done is done, Johnny. Words won’t help you with this time. You need to show me that you would take a bullet for me”

Johnny looked at her and pulled away from where he was against the wall. He kneeled in front of her and touched her right arm.

“Well I can start with a bit more honesty...”

She nodded “Okay”

Johnny grinned sheepishly and tucked her sleeve up “I might have made you a tattoo”

V immediately looked down and brought up her arm up to see a heart with words inside of it.

JOHNNY

“I am. Going to kill you” she said, glaring at the rockerboy.

He smiled at her saying “I thought that you’d be happy. It’s my own hand writing by the way, along with the heart. Since you were such a SAMURAI fan, I wanted to give you an autograph”

V blushed red. She did every time he mentioned her love of his band and the tiny crush she had on him as a teenager.

“You have a second to disappear before I strangle you” she said with a deadly smile.

Johnny smirked and disappeared, his laugh echoing inside her head.

V sighed and touched the tattoo “The fuck am I supposed to do with this?”

Two days later, V and Rogue met up to find Smasher. Unfortunately, they only found Grayson.

“I’ve got something that belonged to Silverhand! I can give it to you!”

That made V stop and don’t shoot the man. She glanced at Johnny who was pacing around, she knew that he wanted his things back. She glared at the man asking “What is it? What. Do. You. Have?”

“I—I the... em... the—“

“Speak up! Before I shoot your head off!” she yelled with a glare, Johnny’s gun in her hands feeling like it belonged there.

Grayson jumped and said “In the container on that goliath over there. Take the access card and you’ll see”

V took it and nodded at the man “I appreciate that. Now. Goodnight” with that she shot the surprised fucker right between the eyes.

Both Rogue and Johnny seemed surprised as V without a second look put Johnny’s gun in her holster and looked at Rogue to listen to what she got to say.

After Rogue left, V went to find the container.

“Oh fuck. Think I know what it is” Johnny said just as V was opening the container.

It turned out to be Johnny’s old car.

“Hop in. I’ll even let you drive” he said, materialising inside the car.

V laughed at bit saying “Not like you got much choice there”

The ride to the oil fields was mostly silent and V was trying her best not to hit anything, while driving Johnny’s car.

Once there, V’s heart sank a bit as Johnny said “Worse than I thought”

V bit her lip and got out of the car, walking to the place where Johnny’s body was supposed to be.

There was nothing there. A cement plank and some garbage.

“So that’s how it is. Nothing here at all” Johnny said, sitting down and staring at the place of his burial.

V also sat down with a heavy heart, saying “What did you expect Johnny? Headstone? A flag and flowers?” hearing how harsh it came out, she sighed adding softly “It’s Arasaka we’re talking about, Johnny...”

Johnny didn’t look at her as he said “Nah... just... I—I don’t know. A marker?” he paused, his voice low and sad “Something. Anything”

V smiled softly at him as his gaze flickered to her. She looked down a took a piece of metal saying “We’ll figure something out”

With that said she scratched his initials and year of death on the stone.

J. S 2023

“How’s that?” she asked, hoping that at least this small thing will make his heart lighter. Or rather. Their heart lighter.

He smiled at her sadly saying “A bit. But let’s say it was my real grave. What would you write? Here lies Johnny Silverhand...”

Without a hesitation, V said “The guy who saved my life and brought music into it”

Johnny smiled at her and took off his glasses. He then got up and said “V... you don’t know how much I want that to be true. Listen. I realise that I fucked up a lot of things. Either let down or used every last person who gave me their trust. Blind, selfish dick that I was. But I’ve managed one thing for now. Not to fuck this up, what we have”

V sighed and looked away “No Johnny. You fucked that up too. You used me, lied to me... I can’t trust you at all”

“Ahem... is it too late to ask for a second chance?” the rockerboy awkwardly but honestly asked.

“What do you want from me?”

He sat down next to her, looking ahead “Most people I thought were my friends, they couldn’t even stand to be in the same room as me” he turned to look at her, continuing “You’re fucking closest to me by a long shot. There twenty-four seven. And yet... you don’t seem to hate my living guts. At least... so it seemed. Till now...”

V took a deep breath, and looked at the man “Okay... but as second chances go, this is your last. I refuse to be that naive”

Johnny grinned at her “I’ll try dammed hard” he then got up in front of her, the same grin in place as he said “Johnny Silverhand. Relentless Rockerboy Who Never Gives Up”

V also got up and shook hand with him, saying “V. A Wanna Be Musician And A Part Time Merc”

Johnny smirked adding “Forgot to add ‘SAMURAI Fangirl’ in there”

She rolled her eyes instead saying “You were a real dick at the beginning”

“I know, and you were a whiny cunt” he said, shrugging.

V snorted and shook her head, when she remembered something.

“Do you still feel like you’re suffocating? Like I’m holding you down?”

Johnny observed her for a second before replying “No. Now it’s more... normal to me. Not great, though. Sometimes when I wake up... it feels like I’m back for a while”

“Back?”

“Like this body is mine. Like I’m free. Seconds later I feel like I’m missing something. Something really important. Then I realise that you’re there, always were. And this stupid wave of relief washes over me” Johnny admits, looking away from V.

She watches him and softly replies “I have the same thing. I wake up and go through my routine and then I’m starting to panic a bit. Because you’re not there and somehow... the thought of you disappearing is so fucking scary...”

“I know, V. I can feel it, that’s why—“

“That’s why always after or in the middle of it you appear” she finished never really connecting the dots that were clearly there.

He nodded “Yeah... I guess we both, got pretty close to each other. Never thought that we’d make this far”

“Me neither. I seriously thought that you would murder me in my apartment, with everyone thinking that it was cyber psychosis...”

Johnny took her hand and looked into her eyes “I would never. I swear that I’ll keep you safe and sound okay?”

Slowly she nodded “Okay... okay. I believe you”

He smiled and squeezed her hand, before letting go and saying “Let’s delta out of here. Nothing here to see”

V watched him walk to the car and smiled, slowly following after him. Her heart feeling lighter and butterflies dancing in her stomach.

•english isn’t my first language so sorry for any errors.

•you wanna be tagged in the next parts? leave a comment!

•thanks for reading! hope you like it. I will be going through some parts of the main story and beyond. I’m planning it to be a bit longer so if you want something longer than 5/6 parts, this is for you

•tag list: @signwriting @missweatherwax @axshadows

#cp2077 #cyberpunk 2077 #johnny silverhand #johnny silverhand x v #night city #female v #v

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