#I hope this post can help communicate what it IS we're trying to say so this whole nonsense can stop

[aptericia]

Not proud to be here.

--

Ok, here goes draft like 5 of this fucking post. I spent 4 hours tossing and turning in bed last night thinking about this, and then this morning I found a tumblr post that really helped me understand what I was trying to say.

The post talks about how aromantic "advocates" claim that "aros don't take up resources, so there's no reason not to include them!" And if that's actually what people believe, I think I can finally articulate why it is that I feel so alienated in queer spaces.

It's because aspecs in general aren't "welcomed" by much of the queer community. We're tolerated. We perhaps get the luxury of not being contradicted on our own identities, or not being specifically kicked out of LGBTQ-only spaces, but that's the whole point: what we get out of the queer "community" is people NOT doing things, not actually doing things FOR us. And that, frankly, is not enough. We deserve conversations about us. We deserve to have others consider our feelings, even when making lighthearted jokes. We deserve varied, respectful representation in media. We deserve the active deconstruction of amatonormativity in society. We deserve to have space made for us, rather than at most being told we should "go take up more space!" ourselves.

Of course, the reality is that my being aspec is a personal matter that does not inherently affect anyone else. But the same can be said for literally any queer identity. Your being gay doesn't say anything about me, so of course I shouldn't hurt you for it, but why should I help you either? Because your happiness and comfort are important. The same goes for aspecs.

And most of the time, I don't even need anyone to make space for or expend resources on me; I can live fine in everyday, non-queer-specific places without mentioning my identity at all. But it's the queer community that claims it will make that space for me, doesn't, and then acts defensive and morally pure if I call out the hypocrisy because "we're queer too, you can't erase our identities to advocate for yours!!!!"

Again, this post isn't about specifics. I have queer friends who are incredibly thoughtful and supportive about my identity, just as I have non-queer friends who are. I find more solidarity in aspec-only communities, as well as trans/genderqueer ones, although there are still many exceptions. This post is also not about amatonormative ideology, which is extremely common from queer and non-queer people alike. This post is about the reason I've felt so betrayed by the queer community.

--

On a personal note, I remember being so excited when I started identifying as aromantic (and later asexual). Fitting myself into labels has been a lifelong struggle for me; to this day I still can't confidently say if I'm White or PoC, neurotypical or neurodivergent, abled or disabled, cisgender or not cisgender. I continue to struggle making friends because I don't fall into social cliques. To discover that I officially, certainly, was LGBTQ+ lifted a huge weight off my shoulders. And now I'm just so sad to find that despite that, I'm still stuck in the middle. I didn't get rewarded with a community. I still feel alienated from both queer and non-queer people. I know it was silly to get my hopes up when there's such vast diversity in both groups, but it really was a disappointment. Going to my first Pride parade last year was really the moment where I realized this.

[vs120shound]

Mother (right) and daughter sharing a cigarette together, consenting to a video in which they talk about their favorite drinks and smoking!

THE VIDEO OF THE WEEK 🚬 (SF HALL OF FAME) 🚬 NUMBER 3 IN THE SERIES!

For the Week of 091023-091623

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ + | Five-Plus "Stars"

From vs120shound staff | ★★★★★ (L)

REVISION/UPDATE: Mom here is called "Bobbi" by interviewer, Austin, the SM web-master/web producer. She is also known as Michelle Conners and Mechelle Montes. ID supplied by gtrtchr120. Correction: September 18, 2023 at 12:38 a.m. Bonus photos of Mom (Bobbi, Michelle, Mechelle) added at the bottom of the post.

By far one the greatest Mother-Daughter scenes in the Greater SF World Community's history. Easily. This is super cute daughter Christy (left) and her sparklingly pretty yet unidentified mother to her side. Mom's photo has been scrubbed from the SmokingModels (Florida, U.S.A.) models page. She was identified for years but we missed the boat on remembering, and that's a collective "My Bad!" without question. And let's not try to kid ourselves or any other SF aficionados for any reason, there have been plenty of sensational scenes with mothers sharing cigarettes with their daughters over the years. This IS our favorite among them! And we're not bashful about admitting the preeminent nature of this claim in our collective view! Not all will agree with this declaration, but some will say Christy and Mommy are deserving of being considered for that immense honor. Others will say, no, they're certainly not bad but there are so many others nearly as fine! We disagree with that position . . . and it is not No. 1 because of their knockout bodies, their sexiness and ample endowments each, although those obvious features only serve to enhance this video's appeal to SF aficionados!

. . . going the traditonal Bo Derek "1 to 10" rating, will say (no range here; just firm numbers for each) Christy is an 8.0 and gorgeous, elegant, sophisticated and mature Mom is a 9.0. We just don't know how they got to this point. Did mom sense that Christy was interested in her smoking and mom questioned her and agreed to help her into transitioning into becoming a smoker? Or did Christy simply say, "Hey, Mom, I'm interested in your smoking habit and I'd like to try it out." And from that point, Mom jumped in and said, "Great, Christy! I was wondering when you'd show interest in cigarettes, I was your age when Grandma showed me the ropes. Let me show you! Would you like to experiment with smoking? Or are you sure right now that you want to become a smoker as soon as possible? I can show you the right way to smoke like a lady." Mom should know; probably picked up the habit as a teenager some 20 years or so earlier.

Most likely it was one of those scenarios with slight modifications. Could have been, however, a case of Christy stealthily sneaking around and pilfering one or a few cigarettes at a time and trying it out, hoping those experimental cigarettes wouldn't be missed or that she'd be discovered? Or, finally, for another possiblity perhaps . . . Christy and some friends, or just Christy and her BFF, forged a pact to try to learn how to smoke together or they had already decided that's what they needed to do, to graduate into becoming full-time, addicted sexy smokers?

We know that hot, young Christy -- possibly as young as 13 or 14 y.o. or maybe as late as 16 or 17 y.o. or even at 18 -- certainly noticed how sexy her mom was when she was smoking, saw all the extra attention her mother got with her hot, seductive style with cigarettes. Young teenage daughters pick up on clues as to how to become more noticeable and sophisticated and more mature in their looks and behaviors. Smoking cigarettes is a sure-fire, great way to attain that ladylike appeal by others. They talk not so much about smoking in this long clip but more on their favorite alcoholic beverages. Young would-be smokers, and newbies to the habit, definitely sense and see the relationship between cigarettes and booze. They experiment; they learn; then they are hooked soon enough: Heavy smoking while drinking . . . chain smoking while binge drinking, when getting super drunk!

Added post-release, on Sept. 18, 2023 at 3:37 p.m.:

Here, in our classic video, Christy and "Bobbi" talk about fashion and style and what works as ensembles for them. Austin, the interviewer and web-master/web-producer for SmokingModels, floats the idea of searching for outfits on the cheap by going online and visiting E-bay! How revolutionary. That portion of the the nearly 8:56 of non-stop conversation dates this video

This post falls within SF Hall of Fame classification because for years by many SF aficionados this video has been considered to be a classic. It is a legendary, iconic video of Mothers-Daughters enjoying their love, friendship, camaraderie, common interests and time together all enhanced and accentuated by their shared habit of smoking cigarettes. Get the feeling that they tried . . . for years after this video was made and published by SmokingModels.com web-master/web producer Austin . . . and continued to try to have cigarettes at the same time, smoking them together. Doubt we are very wrong here, though we could be a tad off.

Re-posted: September 17, 2023

From vs120shound on August 26, 2022 . . .

Bonus photos of mom (Bobbi/Michelle/Mechelle) . . .

"That's her, mom. Just add 10 years on to how she appears in the video, putting "Bobbi" closer to 50 y.o. than the late-30s/early-40s that she might've been in the neighborhood during the time of the post's production and release on SmokingModels," -- vs120shound web-master/web producer

[trials-of-a-spirit-worker]

Spirit Work Basics

You voted, I listened. I meant it. So buckle up as we go through the basics of Spirit Work.

I've touched on this on other posts but I'll make a massive post here. This is not going to explain everything and will still be pretty broad. Cause I do not have the time, the knowledge, nor patience to try and explain EVERYTHING.

But I do hope it helps.

Look under the tags advice, spirit communication, spirit work for more detail.

So hello, I'm Sol. I've been working with spirits since I realized I was speaking with them. I had the gift since I was a young child, first spirit I saw being my grandfather on my father's side shortly after he passed away. He was a pastor, supposedly, I was doing the best I could to repeat his favorite verses despite me being a small little shit. I don't remember the verses, I do remember speaking to him a lot however.

Which is where we'll begin, how to speak to spirits.

Maybe she's born with it? Maybe it's insanity~♪

Well, how do we begin with speaking with spirits? There's a number of ways, actually. Some do have the natural ability, like myself but that shouldn't discourage people who are newly trying and don't have that natural affinity for it. Spirits can and will talk to anyone if you open yourself up. Just takes a bit of work. But Sol, you may ask, how do I do that?

If you've been on witchblr for a bit you know what I'm about to say next: Yup.

Meditate.

Now listen, meditation is a way to open yourself up to the spirits around you or just at least signal "hey, I'm open to talk to." It gives you a good sense of your own energy and the energy around you. Meditation doesn't have one look either. A lot of people can't just sit still and kept their legs crossed or be on their knees with their eyes closed (I see you ADHD/ADD people). Hell, my lazy ass will meditate lying down.

Literally the definition of Meditation: to engage in mental exercise (such as concentration on one's breathing or repetition of a mantra) for the purpose of reaching a heightened level of spiritual awareness. transitive verb. : to focus one's thoughts on : reflect on or ponder over. (merriam webster)

It's pretty broad, right? Hell, you can even work out and meditate. I do it all the time. Cause I focus on my breathing and the feeling of energy through my body. Basically you can get creative with it.

While you're meditating, make sure you're feeling your own energy. This can come in a number of ways; waves, your heartbeat, a feeling of something cloaking you etc. While you have that feeling down, envision an opening, whether its a door, or just acknowledging you're reaching out to the other side. Whether or not you get an answer back, you are putting yourself out there and that's half the battle done. Just be sure to know how to close yourself and ward your body. Spirit work and opening yourself like that is no joke and I'd like you to be safe.

To do that, just envision whatever you had opened closed or recede back or whatever you used that worked for you.

Signs to Look for

Some of the more common tells of a spirit hearing and trying to communicate are of the following:

Small echos/voices in the back of your head

Random thoughts that may not be your own

Knocks or things shuffling

Strange dreams

Small phantom touches

Feelings of being watched

And Many More!

"But Sol," some of you might say, "that's really fucking vague and could just be explained away."

Yeah...welcome to spirit work. You thought this shit was easy?!

You have to work on your discernment. It is a skill needed for this type of work.

Seems counterproductive, but it's not! See, if every bump and noise was reported as ghosts or spirits, well...we'd be even less believed than we already are. When doing spirit work, or ghost hunting, you are stuck with the burden of proof and it's a huge burden to have. This is why people ask for repeats of actions, to speak again in recorders and other things. We're asking for repetition, because science is prevalent, especially in spiritualism and occultism. We have to be our own skeptics so when we have something that can't be explained away, we truly have something to celebrate.

Tools on the Job

No one said you had to do this all on vibes. No shame in using tools. I'll more than likely take the time to make specific posts about each tool in the future cause this post is already really long but I'll give you a nice rundown of basic tools.

By the way anyone who tries to shame you for using tools or says "only trainee or baby witches use this or that" are tools themselves (not the good or useful kind) and should not be given the time of day. Tools are fine. Use them for help if you need it because that's what the fuck a tool is for.

Now these aren't all the tools you can use but I'll give you some well known ones. I've seen witches get real creative and it's honestly super cool watching them use strange things that you'd never think about as a witchcraft tool. But that's what makes it so fun.

Tarot cards

Tarot is something I often use. 78 cards all with different meanings. There's many many ways to interpret them and multiple themes that many of them have.

My best advice for these are to just look up the overall meanings both upright and reversed just to have a general consensus of each card. Play around with them a lot, and interpret them the way you would as if you were making a story with them. You can also use them for spirit communication.

Calling forth a spirit allowing them to touch the deck (just leave it for a moment and allow them to influence the deck as it were before doing the spread). Holds a lot of power in your hands but is a little slow.

Pendulum

A pendulum is usually a crystal tied to a string or a chain that can be swung over a board of either yes or no or maybe for its options. Sometimes there is a mock ouija for the pendulum to spell out things as well.

Cool thing about a pendulum is it can be anything that swings if you wish. Some people I've seen take off their necklace and use it as a pendulum just fine. Just have a singular point and you can get to work anywhere with it. Please make sure to ward yourself from invading or malevolent spirits when you do this though.

Lots of pendulum or spirit boards exist and have different templates as well.

This is more of a call and response type of device to use. Especially when you feel a spirit present Still has a fair bit of control in your hands.

Ouija board

The infamous kids game works around the same way a pendulum does, except there is a planchette that slides over the board. This is a call and response based tool much like a pendulum. However, it is a little easier for the ghost to manipulate and control. Which is where all the stupid stories of ghosts completely taking over and fucking up shit takes place. Also, half of the biggest problems are just humans being humans which means victims of groupthink. So... stupidity. Someone freaked so you all freak...the energy gets bad and shit happens. Do your best to remain calm and just work through it.

Also no. ZOZO XOX 2O2O etc does not want your ass. Many spirits claim that shit to get a rise out of you anyway. Guys...no, I swear it does not happen. This is main character energy that none of us have...or want! Even if a demonic entity came in to fuck with you, there are plenty of other ways to do it. Be fucking for real.

Please remain kind and courteous to who you contact. Do not let your paranoia about this tool make you do stupid things. Always say goodbye when you are finished. Try and stay as calm as you can.

Never. Ever leave the planchette on the board unattended. Lest you get an unwanted guest or one that'll overstay their welcome.

Crystal Ball

Crystal Balls are a good way to detect energies. This is normally used in a private setting cause it desires a lot of concentration. Now, I'm admittedly not that knowledgeable in this because I don't use my crystal ball often.

Also, your crystal ball doesn't have to be clear. Mine is obsidian and I love her.

When having your question, focus on it and concentrate. Make sure it is open ended. I mean you can have yes or no, but it's gonna be a bitch to decipher a yes or no answer.

Close your eyes and let the answers come to you in the forms of images and colors and such, examine all you can as just let your intuition work.

Sounds simple but its a rather interesting art form to work on. Symbols and such can confuse you and it's heavy on your interpretation. I'm sure there's books and stuff out there for a general view of this symbol you see might mean this or that but...largely, this is a true test of how you read your intuition.

I'd do it more, if I wasn't closeted and lived with nosy closed-minded people.

C'est la vie.

One important thing though...don't leave your ball uncovered. Especially if it's clear. That's how you end up with burned shit. Those bitches are like mega magnifying glasses. And it happens faster than you think. Science is scary.

Mirror/Water Scrying

Mirror and water scrying is kind of the same as a crystal ball except it's a quicker and often less expensive way to work on your divination.

Some people have a specific mirror that they black out and scry that way. Others have a scrying bowl made for divination alone. It's just as good. You can use any bowl or mirror however. Just be sure to cleanse the area before you start and after you're done.

Some thank the water used for divination before putting it down the sink or in the earth. But that's more of an individual's choice/belief/faith than anything else.

Lots of occultism and spiritualism has a thing with mirrors being portals, openings, etc to the otherside and can bring some unwanted visitors.

And as someone who now sleeps with their mirror facing the wall now, I will say I believe a lot of what people say on that.

I want a goodnights sleep damnit.

Just be sure to cleanse your tools after use. Better safe than sorry.

ETC.

There's a lot of creative ways people can use these tools and magic. So don't think of magic as a recipe for how to be a witch or do witchcraft. That's half the fun of witchcraft.

Discovery.

Finding ways to do things, to hear, to see, to communicate. Yes there are certain tools that work better than others but, we as individual people also work in different ways.

There's a psychic out there who reads asparagus like bones. There's someone who will scry with a puddle on the ground they found. People have their own methods and ways to work their magic and we should learn from them. So if you have some non normal tactic or even something unsual, embrace it to the fullest.

I divine with music. If you ask me it's Apollo's influence. My spirits communicate with music.

When I meet people and get a good vibe on them a song comes to mind, and even if I forget your face, your voice, who you are, that song will remind me what I think of you. Songs pop up in my head when people associated with it are close.

I'm not going to say I'm the only one in the world who does this, cause that would be some bs. But its my tactic and its natural.

Do what is natural for you and not what other witches say you should do.

Even me, I beg you not to try and emulate or follow my advice down to a T if it doesn't work for you. Don't force it to work.

I am just one person, one voice spouting some advice. Take what you can from it, take what helps and work your own path. And then in turn do the same. I'm a path offering person not a director. But that's...just...me...

"But Sol, how do I speak to spirits?"

Talk.

Yeah, that simple. Talk.

This can be in a lot of forms. Some write and burn letters to ancestors, or past family members. Set up a placement for talking to them. Admittedly, a lot of spirit work and communication is experimental. We just warn you over some things because they've happened enough for us as a collective to go ah, a pattern.

I have urns at home so it's pretty easy to say hello in that case.

I am NOT telling you to go into a graveyard and just go wussap. No. Some spirits don't want your tomfuckery. Also if they're feeling really chatty all at once you might get overwhelmed and you will not have a good time. Read the dead room.

Open yourself up. WARD YOURSELF FIRST! PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF THE GODS. But yeah open yourself up. Learn how to open your pathways and close them first. That comes with meditating. Yes, this is why damn near all of us nag the shit out of y'all about meditating.

Just talk and listen. It won't happen immediately. It takes time and a careful ear. Remember signs to look for. You might spot them before you hear them. Small instances of shadows out the corner of your eye. A touch from nowhere, a shiver down your spine. Other things going off or being moved, etc. Slowly, someone or something will receive your message and try to respond in kind.

When you get these small responses, just keep calm and say hello or acknowledge what they've done.

"Oh, someone's here"

"Hello there"

"Are you still here?"

It'll be awkward (try to remember where you are, don't be a weirdo in public), but overtime you'll get better at it.

Conclusion!

Like any skill, spirit communication takes practice.

There are a vast plethora of ways to communicate with tools that I haven't mentioned as well, like automatic writing which is a pretty good beginner way to jump in.

Just have a pen/pencil on paper, write what comes to mind. Its a good way to practice hearing and catching signs as well.

And something I will never stop saying is you don't have to take this journey alone! Especially if you don't want to. Find someone experienced to start this journey with. Someone who calms you, who can support you. Support and asking for help is good. Last thing any of us want is for you to get hurt or scared out of doing this if this is something you really want to do. So call us, talk to us. Confide in more experienced people.

So many times on this site and other places, we are begging to form this beautiful network so we can help one another, give advice, hang out etc.

We are right here, just reach out for us. You'll get a hand back in kind.

[speedycoffeedelight]

An Animalistic Disaster

Summery : Where they go through the interview and you get a bit drunk

Masterlist

CH-16: Job hunting (part two)

After parking, you three headed towards the cafe you all talked about. The owner of the cafe was a pair of old couple and their son. Their son was a barista who wanted to make his dreams of a successful cafe come true.

Unfortunately, he wasn't great with communication and they couldn't afford to hire a waiter with a nice amount of money. So it was their last attempt at saving the cafe. How do you know all that? Well being in the news industry has its perks when it comes to information collecting.

The horns on Charlie's head and the antenna's on Vaggie's is kind of a big problem. You prayed that they would look past them. It was a small cafe in middle of the bustling road. It looked like it badly needed some renovations. Still it looked cozy enough. You four finally entered. A small ring sounded out from the bell above the entrance door, alerting the boy that was cleaning the tables of the empty cafe.

"Ah,new customers! Welcome!" A freckled, orange haired boy wearing an apron quickly rushed towards you all. His blue eyes were glittering with excitement."Please come this wa-" You cut him off quickly. "Oh no, you misunderstand. We're here for the post of the waiter."

The boy stopped in his tracks and scanned the lot of you. "Are you all here for the interview? " "Oh no only these two" you said pointing at Charlie and Vaggie.

"Gotcha, please take a seat. I'll inform inside."

You nodded and sat down nearby on a table. "Alright, we need to go through something first. Charlie, Vaggie."

"Yes!"

"Yes (Y/n)?"

"Try to act casual, okay. Try to give your best shot during the interview. If they ask you where you came from, just say overseas. It should help skip a lot of questions."

"Will do! But which country should we say if they ask?" Charlie said nervously scratching her neck. "We don't really know much about earth."

"Hm, Charlie could be from America and Vaggie from Spain I guess. I think that checks out."

"Alright then we'll say that!"

"Also about your age...."

"I'll turn about 271 this year I think -" Charlie replied.

"Great, you'll say you're 27. As for Vaggie"

You turned to the black haired girl "You can say 26 or something close to Charlie, got it?"

"Got it ."

While talking with the two and preparing them about various questions. The freckled boy came back. "I hope you're ready for the interview. Come this way please."

"Best of luck you guys!" You pulled Vaggie close before she could follow the other two. "Make sure Charlie doesn't say anything stupid. I'm trusting in you." Vaggie nodded and they followed him to another corner of the cafe where an elderly looking couple was sitting.

"Please take a seat girls."

They nodded and took the seat in front them. "I apologize we couldn't do this in more formal way...things have been a little hard." The old man said. "No, no it's fine, it's fine! We don't mind." Charlie replied laughing nervously.

"Did you two both come for this job? You know there's only one post right?"

"Yes, we know that. Well we wouldn't mind if any of us gets picked really."

"I see, are you two close friends?"

"Girlfriends, actually.." Vaggie replied.

"Oh my, that's great sweetie" the old woman said with a smile. During the whole interview, the orange haired boy stood close, listening to the whole process. (Y/n) was right, they didn't push them too much. The interview was going smoothly.

"Do have any other experiences in working somewhere?"

"Why yes, I run a hote-"

"What she means to say is, we used to work at a hotel, mam." Vaggie quickly chipped in.

Mostly smoothly, with Vaggie coming in clutchs to save Charlie's ass a couple of times.

"We probably wouldn't be able to provide you with much money yet...as you could probably see the cafe's not in its best shape right now. I hope this won't be a problem." The old man sighed.

" Oh no please, don't worry. We'll take what we can get."

"Thank you girls. Our son Adrian is intent on running this cafe. I told him he could do so much better but he insisted on staying with us."

The couple whispered at each other for a moment and then turned to Charlie and Vaggie. "Could you please go back for a bit dear? We'll come with answers soon."

Their son Adrian quickly came forward to guide them back to you.

"So you both are.... girlfriends...? Part of the LGBTQ?"

"Yes, we are. Why?" Vaggie replied.

"Nothing, it's nothing. Don't worry about it."

He turned his head away before both of them could say something and returned to you. Both you and Pentious were sitting anxiously. You let out a sigh of relief as they came back.

"So how did the interview go??" You asked pulling Vaggie close.

"I think it was fine. The owners were nice people."

"And did you pass?"

"They should announce it any time now"

After a few minutes, the couple came back alongside Adrian. You all looked at them nervously for the answer.

"Charlie's hired! I think we could use a nice cherry girl like you around here." The old man laughed. "Thank you! I'll do my best to help!" Charlie jumped off the seat in excitement.

"Just call me Mr.ronald." He shook Charlie's hand. "Could I expect you to work form tomorrow if possible? We need all the help we can get..."

"Yes of course. I'll be right here." Charlie said smiling. "Thank you Mr and Mrs.ronald."

After saying goodbyes and going outside, you let out a cheer. "You did it Charlie! I'm so proud of you." You hugged her in joy and she returned it just as happily.

For the next stop, you went around the market for cheap and broken things. You also bought some tools and equipment that Pentious said he needed. They weren't cheap, but you hoped it would be worth the money.

On your way home, you bought a bottle of wine to celebrate the victory. The others were happy to hear the news as well. Both you and Pentious jumped to work first as soon as you came. In the night, you popped open the wine bottle and poured it for the ones that transformed. You set aside some wine for Pentious since he still insisted on working outside.

Husk got caught trying to drink from Pentious's cup and you quickly moved him away. "Husk that's bad for you!" Husk just grumbled unhappily. He hadn't had booze in such a long time that it was making him go crazy.

You kept Husk on your lap and kept petting him while talking with others. Alcohol was clouding your sense a little bit so you forgot about the fact that you were fondly petting a grown man, or well a demon. Husk tired to leave couple of times but you kept a firm grip on him. And as much as he would hate to admit it, he kind of liked it. He began making purring noises unknowningly as he gave up on getting away.

Alastor and Angel were snickering looking at him from across the room. 'You finally got used to being a pet huh?' Alastor said teasingly making Husk hiss at him. You noticed this and picked up Husk and smothered him against your chest.

"Bad deer! Don't annoy my precious kitty!" You scolded Alastor and looked at Husk who was blushing madly and trying to get away again by pawing at you. "Are you alright kitty?" You held him in front of your face and he mewed in annoyance.

Charlie chuckled looking at you two. "I think you had quite enough drink (Y/n). You should rest." You wanted to say no but your head was pounding quite a bit. "Okaaay, but I want to pat the bad deer first! He still didn't let me touch him!"

Alastor's ears perked up at this statement as he quickly moved towards the door to make a run for it. But you were faster in your wobbly legs. You quickly attached yourself to his neck and nuzzled closer. Alastor briefly considered pushing you away with a violent shake. Briefly since Vaggie sensed it as well and decided to speak fast.

"Don't you try to shake her off Alastor. You'll hurt her." Vaggie replied from the chair she's was currently sitting on. She tried to gently peel you away from Alastor but you wouldn't budge making him groan. This time it was Husk's turn to laugh.

"Just indulge her a bit will you? She'll be normal once she wakes up." Charlie requested Alastor. 'Do I look like- gah, fine...'

He sighed giving in after seeing the girls glare at him. You smiled in happiness when you sensed no resistance from him anymore and dragged one of your hands to his ears. All the other demons in the room watched this eagerly.

'Shit, I really wish I had a camera right now...' Angel whispered.

'Same..' Said Cherri and Husk in unison. They both knew they won't get to see this type of thing so soon again. Cherri thought about how much money she could sell the picture for if she got it and Husk thought about how he'd have something to blackmail against him.

The fur on his ears was soft, terribly so. You carefully moved your hands from the base to the tip of his ears. You were drunk, but you were still gentle. Alastor could feel all the eyes burning at him. He couldn't remember the last time he felt so embarrassed. Unknown to him, his tail was swaying behind him making others have the time of their life seeing it.

"Soo... fluffy...." You whispered softly. Alastor's ears perked up again as he caught that. 'Okay I think that's enough. Charlie please move her before I shove her off.'

Charlie, who was having a hard time holding in laughter, immediately jumped into action. Prying you away from Alastor was no easy task. You still had a lot of strength in yourself. While you were getting dragged to your room, you got a hold of Husk who let out a meow of help. But this time, no one came to help.

Charlie tucked you inside your bed with you still holding onto Husk who just accepted his fate at this point.

"Now just rest up okay?"

"Mmhmm, I will!!"

You replied with a childlike glee making Charlie's heart swoon. She couldn't resist planting a small kiss on your forehead before exiting the room. Husk raised a eye brow at that but decided not to question it. After all, Charlie is normally known to be pretty affectionate.

Resting Husk on your chest, you began to softly pat his fur, making him purr again. He hated how much power you had over him. He was grateful no one was there to witness it this time. Charlie probably told others to keep out of your room for now.

Then suddenly you started crying. Husk was stunned. He mewoed at you to ask what's wrong.

" *Sniff* I miss you... cotton..tails..." You whispered softly. 'Who the fuck is cottontails? That can't be a person.' Husk looked at your crying face once again. He sighed and then nuzzled his head to your cheek trying to comfort you.

"Thank you kitty...." You held Husk close and rubbed your face together. 'Ugh..gross...' Husk mumbled. Then you settled him on your chest again and finally passed out.

'Finally you sleep..god I can't handle these shit being sober. I was so damn close to that wine.." Then he looked at you and found you crying softly again. 'Oh for the love of-' Although he was mentally cursing up a storm in his head, it still sucked seeing you like this. He leaned his head over and softly licked your cheeks while purring.

'What the fuck am I even doing? This shit ain't normal...' But seeing you finally stop crying and then pop up a small smile, if his eyes weren't mistaken, it felt like it was worth it.

'Sleep well kid. I'll be here when you wake up.'

He looked at you with an amount of softness he hasn't looked at anyone in a long time. He rested his head down and closed his eyes.

'Maybe feeling like this ain't bad sometimes..'

Soft yellow light engulfed the room. This time it wasn't as intensely as the ones before. It still bothered you so you turned around while holding the cat. Well the cat who just got turned into a human without either of you knowing. The light was so soft this time, others didn't notice it either till next morning.

.

.

.

.

.

Several half-humans and animals surrounded your bed, mouth agape in shock and astonishment. Vaggie and Charlie were the first to find you like this. Charlie then called everyone to ask what to do. There you were, cuddling a grown ass man who they recognised as Husk, sleeping away peacefully like there's no tomorrow. And the other thing they all noticed was that Husk was shirtless. Charlie refused to believe he was naked with you since you were both still under a blanket and they couldn't see downwards.

'I'm going to wake them up. I can't stand this cheesy show in front of me.' Cherri said suddenly.

"No no you definitely should let her sleep a bit. Maybe we could get Husk to get up.." Charlie said.

'Do ya think they fucked before sleeping like this? Cause it feels like it.'

"Angel you're not helping!"

'I'm just sayin what I think.'

"Angel!"

'Cannonball!'

While they were busy chatting, Cherri took the liberty of jumping on your face,promptly waking you up. She used her tail to swat Husks face as well.

Needless to say, you never expected to wake up cuddling a half naked guy in the morning. So nobody could really blame you for the scream you let out.

A.N: (Please read) There's one thing I wanted to make clear early on is that this book may contain some spicy stuff in future. Not full smut though. I don't believe I have the capability to write those stuffs. Mostly it'll be chill and normal with some shenanigans.

Also let me apologize for writing the two things shit with Pentious 😭. I thought it would be funny to add since it's already canon. But then later I wanted nothing more than to go hide in a hole and decompose from embarrassment reading some of the comments.

That being said, although it would be bit of a spoiler but lemme just say Husk is not naked. I don't want a return of those comments :') they all wear the outfit of season 1 when they transform.

Also Charlie's age thing is reference to an annoyomus ask on Tumblr. I quite enjoyed the scenarios so I decided to throw a bit here.

Tag list: @legostars @glowinthedarkbones1150 @darifes @aria-tempest @rainbowcake1212 @luxylucylou

[bonesandthebees]

man ive spent the past few hours going over everything (i just found out abt this, ironically, cus of el's mod post in your discord lol) and honestly just fuckkkkk himmm.

im so mad abt it. like how could he fucking do that. not only to us, his fans, but to his friends????? how do people just. idk i just dont get how people can do that, look at their actions and go "yeah that was measured and not fucked up"

feel free to ignore this but i wanna say thank you for being open and honest abt this situation and your thoughts. im hoping we as a community can learn to grieve 🩵

and any way your writing turns know you'll have people behind you the whole way

ok real talk abuse is a complicated thing. often times abusers don't even realize they're abusing someone. this is in NO WAY a defense of abusers and certainly not a defense of wilbur fucking soot, but it is important to note. abusers are not wholly evil and terrible people. they are human beings who often don't realize the degree of harm they're causing someone else, either just through being too self-centered to notice, or because they're so blinded by their reasoning for their own actions they think whatever they're doing is justified, or they think they could never be an abuser because they're not trying to hurt the person they love.

I do think any human being can be redeemed, including abusers (with the caveat that no matter what a victim is never obligated to forgive their abuser no matter how much work they've done to redeem themselves), but the first step involves actually recognizing what you did and owning up to it. wilbur clearly cannot own up to what he's done. so fuck him for that. the therapy has clearly done jack shit.

anyway, sorry, tangent over. I'm honestly just so glad to hear how much my asks have been helping people. more than anything I just love this community and want to offer advice where I can, or offer comfort where I can't. just to remind everyone that we're not alone in this.

I'm so lucky to have readers like you guys <3

[gougarfem]

i know this is cliché and there are a million posts like this but i'm getting so tired of the pointless infighting on here. and before you accuse me of anything, i'm a lesbian who practices complete female seperatism with the exception of having to interact with male healthcare staff. yes, i'm far from a perfect radfem, and yes, we should all try but I don't think anyone on here meets that ideal. seeing misogynistic slurs and insults thrown at women who are bisexual, het-partnered, or god forbid need a fucking abortion is so saddening when tumblr is one of the only places i feel a sense of community with other feminists. most people on here have at some point been isolated and ostracized for our politics. we're lucky to have a space on a site like this where we can express our beliefs and form a community and have nuanced discussions (look at what's happening to other apps! look how quickly radfem pages are termed on instagram and tiktok!) and instead of using this platform for constructive discussion some of you are spending 4+ hours a day in petty arguments over semantics, attacking vulnerable women for needing medical procedures and cyberbullying anyone who happens to feel attraction to men. we are not going to form a movement like this. no progress will come from this! outsiders see us picking each other apart and are discouraged from radical feminism, men use the holes in our community to tear us apart and make us look like a joke. people go back to liberal circles because their first day on radblr gets them an inbox full of insults and slurs and they quickly see how other women are treated on here.

i can't believe this needs saying but spending your day online calling osa women traitors/c*nts/c*cksuckers/brainwashed, telling detrans women we're deformed and damaged goods and throwing around the r slur is not activism nor is it feminist. some of you need to watch a primary school cyberbullying powerpoint about how there's another person at the end of the screen because i know no one on here would say those things to a woman's face. radical feminism fights for the liberation of EVERY woman, no matter if you personally dislike them or disagree with their choices - and even so, it's common sense that people will be more open to conversation and willing to change if you treat them with kindness, instead of denouncing and dogpiling everyone who doesn't meet your standards. i'm a radfem because so many women aren't. i'm a radfem for the women who wear makeup and insist it's for themselves. i'm a radfem for women who have been "happily married" 10 years and still do 100% of the housework. is that you? are you fighting for these women? or are you on here to boost your superiority complex and put others down? because if that's the case our movement doesn't fucking need you.

i hope some of you think about why you're on tumblr and how exactly you're aiding female liberation or even helping women to begin with. where the majority of other communities are toxic echo chambers, we need to be able to accept differences of opinion and fight for the bigger cause. anything else will alienate the same women we claim to be fighting for.

[drarrily-we-row-along]

Hey everyone.

Maybe some of you have noticed that my writing's been super sporadic since like June (if you haven't that's very okay) but I just wanted to write a little bit about what's been happening in my life because it's had a pretty big impact on my writing.

It turns out that I'm actually ace.

So, if you happen to notice an uptick in me writing fics with ace characters who still get to be loved, I'm just trying to process a thing.

Please feel free to skip the rest of this post if you're not interested in the harrowing journey of self discovery. I am absolutely giving too much information about my life, I'm just really working at processing everything and I'm hoping writing it out will help. And honestly, there have been some beautiful souls in the Tumblr community who have given me some beautiful encouragement (including but not limited to @basicallyahedgehog who answered an anon ask I sent them the other day with so much kindness and encouragement because I'd bawled my eyes out about one of their fics featuring ace Harry/Draco.).

(Anyway. If you want to read a ramble about all of the things I'm struggling with at the present moment, I'm gladly accepting advice and kindness at this time. Please read below the cut and chime in if you have anything hopeful to add.)

For most of my life I've pretty comfortably called myself a "picky bi" and in the past couple of years have labeled myself "demisexual" because I'm not sex repulsed; I've had sex, it was fine/good when it's with someone who I'm in love with. I moved on from the labeling, content with the label I'd given myself and whatnot.

It's been a minute (read: 8+ years) since I've been in a relationship that got to the point where I've considered having sex but I didn't really think all that much of it. In retrospect, I think this is largely because I've grown a lot in terms of self respect and honoring my own autonomy. Somewhere around 25, I started saying no when I didn't want something and if the other person didn't respect that decision they were not worth my time.

Anyway, it didn't really occur to me that perhaps going nearly a decade without thinking about/wanting to have sex with anyone (and without experiencing even vague aesthetic attraction to someone with only the odd exception here and there- some of you saw that post a couple of months ago, apparently just having the thought that someone is pretty isn't the same as attraction that allo people experience- so that panic now seems pretty unnecessary. It literally boggles my mind that people can just see a person they've never met and want to have sex with them. Anyway, I'm digressing.) Apparently, it's not a common occurrence even among demisexuals to go that long without thinking about sex if you have emotional intimacy with people (which I do). So fast forward to June when I went to a conference for lgbtqia christians and started listening to people talk about attraction.

To say that my experience of attraction and desire for sex is profoundly different than that of nearly all of the people that I talked to at that conference would be an understatement.

After that conference, I started talking to a lot of friends about their experience of attraction and their desire for sex (eventually this also included some new friends who are demi/ace) and have been a little flabbergasted by their responses. Suddenly, in light of the fact that my body doesn't interpret a lot of things the way that other peoples' seem to, a lot of things started to make sense.

I've been called a flirt (at best, and a [cock]tease in more unpleasant moments) my entire life because I always want to give people gentle physical affection; I love holding hands, touching people on the arm while we're having a conversation, playing with peoples' hair, hugging, leaning, the list is long- none of those things have ever felt like flirting to me. Every one of those actions was the end in itself, there was no artifice in my touches, no desire or even thought for more, but APPARENTLY that is not the thing that happens in a lot of peoples' bodies. It is incomprehensible to me that simple, affectionate touches are not something that everyone just wants to do to anyone that they harbor platonic affection for. This also applies to the way that I communicate with people. Again, I've been called a flirt, been told that I'm intense, been told that I'm trying to 'steal' peoples' boy/girl friends simply by being friends with them. APPARENTLY, showing "too much" interest in other peoples' lives and hobbies is flirting. APPARENTLY, getting really excited for people who are excited and doing cool things is flirting. Because (or so I have been told) the emotional energy I expend is too much to just be friends; surely, I have another angle.

Next, in terms of attraction, I experience attraction to beautiful things in nature in the same way that I experience it to people. If I'm being honest, nature makes my heart sing in a way that people usually don't. I can get caught up in the beauty of the world; the vastness of the ocean for literal hours, in the majesty of the mountains, the strength of trees, the way water carves a path through the rocks in glens and waterfalls. The world takes my breath away, it makes me weep just to exist in nature. Apparently, this in not everyone's experience of nature and apparently, many people who want to have sex don't think that trees, or bodies of water, or mountains have as much (or more, in my humble opinion) appeal than humans.

It's come to my attention that even the way that I have experienced heart break from relationships where I was "in love" and having sex is not the way that people typically experience heartbreak. All heart break feels the same to me; grieving leaving a job, grieving the death of a loved one, grieving horrible things that happen to my students, grieving the loss of friendships, and grieving the loss of a relationship feel like the same heart break. (Like some of those things hurt worse than others but the heart break over the loss of a relationship isn't worse.) One of my friends mentioned that I grieve the passing of summer into autumn (I fucking hate the winter) like the loss of a relationship and I wish I could say that she is wrong. I've been told my whole life that I experience my emotions too big and I just can't help but wonder if there is some sort of correlation there, but I digress.

The literal dream for my life is to have someone who wants to get in the car or on a plane and travel with me. Someone who I can make coffee for in the mornings and who wants to cook me dinner at night. Someone who wants to sit on the couch after a long day at work and talk about nothing, or watch a show, or just exist together. Someone who wants to dance with me in the kitchen, and hold my hand while we walk, who wants to smile at me while I ramble about nature. I want someone who wants to hold me when I cry, who wants to listen to me when I'm mad, someone who will remind me to take a break when I'm working too hard. The only thing that I actually want from a partner is just someone to do life with. It's not that I'm opposed to sex, it's just that it literally doesn't matter.

(So many things in past relationships, so many fights, so many of the reasons that I was left, so many things that I JUST DIDN'T UNDERSTAND make sense now. Or at least they're starting to.)

So. In the process of understanding this complete fuckery, of trying to put all of the pieces that haven't quite made sense in my life into order, in the end of July my best friend told me that she's in love with me.

And on the one hand, I'm fucking over the moon, delighted, honored, speechless, crazy-happy. She's literally the best person I have ever known, she's the kindest, sweetest, most loyal, loving, amazing human being to ever exist. She loves me so well, so completely, like all of the things that I said above that are my dream; that is her. We road trip together, and she lets me braid her hair, and we snuggle on the couch and watch movies, and we talk for hours (literally hours, when we road trip we go for 7-10 days at a time and I like do not shut the fuck up for more than like 5 minutes total the entire day and she loves me; loves listening to me talk about whatever is in my brain), and when I'm going on and on about how pretty things are in nature she looks at me like I'm the pretty thing (when I say, 'oh my gosh. that mountain, tree, lake, ocean, etc. is so beautiful.' she literally says 'you're so beautiful' and I am deceased, my heart can't take it, I can't fucking stop smiling- I don't even want to), and she lets me info dump about whatever I'm learning, and she loves my brain and my stupid adhd, and she plays me sappy love songs and sings them to me (and she sings in my car, sings to me even though she doesn't sing in front of people) and and and... she makes me feel like I'm good. She makes me feel like I'm all of the things that other people have said I'm not.

And I am constantly terrified of hurting her.

There are a variety of reasons we're not planning on having sex (partially because it's not really something that I want) that I'm not going to get into but I'm afraid of being what I've been to other people. I'm afraid of her feeling like I'm pushing her buttons because I just always want to be touching her (very platonically) like just having our shoulders bumping while we walk, or putting my head on her shoulder when we're on the couch, or letting our elbows press against one another while we're in the car. BUT what happens in our bodies when we're touching like that is really different. Like I described above, for me any type of touch is really the end goal in and of itself (if I'm braiding her hair, it's safe to assume that that is all I want to be doing. If I'm leaning against her on the couch, that too is what I'm wanting.) But that's not always how her body wants to interpret touch, even if she logically knows that I'm not intentionally teasing (she would never say that she feels like I'm trying to tease her, for the record, it's just the easiest way for me to articulate what it feels like could be happening).

And I love her so much, like so much; I'd do anything for her but it's not the same kind of love that she feels for me. By which I mean that she is just really gay and actively attracted to me emotionally/physically but for me if she started dating someone else, I'd be actually fine with that. If she was dating/having sex with someone I wouldn't be jealous, as long as we still get to be friends. (And maybe her dating would necessarily change the dynamic of our friendship and that would be really hard but that's a different mental exercise.) This isn't the way that she feels.

She is so special and important to me but even the way that we are aware of the other person's presence is different. For me, if I'm in a group of people and she's there, I'm aware of that on some level but it's not at the forefront of my mind. My brain is always sort of 'triaging' the people around me when they're my friends; who's being too quiet? who has been going through a rough patch with work/family, etc? who has an exciting new thing they need someone to squeal about with them? who hasn't been included in the conversation in too long? (see the paragraph above about flirting. haha.) She's there but she often isn't the first person I'm thinking about because I talk to her almost every day, I get to love her every day, and odds are good that we either drove together or will talk on the phone our way home from the event- I see the other people there less, so my brain just prioritizes them since I have less time to love them. (This is actually really good, healthy progress for me in terms of healthy attachment and not forming a codependent relationship. My therapist and I are really proud of the work I'm doing, but I'm digressing again.) For her, though, she always knows exactly where I am. It is work for her to pay attention to other conversations, work to be in a different room. In most situations, I am the person she defaults to thinking about and wanting to be near and she has to actively choose other things if she wants to. (And I don't mean to sound like an absolute asshole, it's not like I ignore her or anything, and I'm delighted for us to be in the same conversations, it's just a different way that we engage with the world.)

I love her so much. And I'm afraid of messing everything up. Of hurting her. Of asking too much of her without asking for anything at all. I try to let her be the one to initiate physical touch (or I ask first) because sometimes it's too hard on her body and that's fair. I feel frustrated with the different ways that we experience love for each other because the way that she loves me feels so good and safe to me and it makes me feel so happy. I'm afraid that the way that I love her doesn't feel as nice for her, that it feels less than, that the way I express my love and devotion isn't as good. I'm afraid that the way she loves me is going to wear her out. She always says she knows I love her just as much as she loves me, it's just different. She says she's okay, she says that the way I love her is good for her and she's happy. But it's hard to believe.

I'm afraid that she'll fall in love with someone else who can love her the way she loves and I won't matter to her anymore (partially because that's been my experience of people who have said they're in love with me). I'm afraid.

Is it even fair to entertain the idea of maybe having a whole life together? (we're already entertaining the ideas, already daydreaming about 'what if we lived together', where we're going on our next road trip, etc. And I'm terrified.) Is it asking her to give up too much? I would spend the rest of my life with her. I'd be good and kind to her, I would love her with so much tenderness. But is it enough? Am I enough with just the things that I have to give? Is it actually possible for someone to love me for just me and not for the ways that I could contort myself to be something I'm not?

I recognize the irony in what I'm asking. I know that that's what all of these hundreds of stories I've written here say, it's what I want to believe. But is it even possible when it's reality?

I don't know. Does anyone have any good advice? Any ace people out there living with a person who's in love with them? Does anyone have something that's lasted?

[leafofkudzu]

Hello again! The first Saturday of a new month approaches once more, which means it's time for another art party hosted by my guild, [VS] Verdant Shield! The poll has run its course, and our location winner by a narrow last-minute victory is Hoelbrak!

For those who have no idea what these art parties entail, they're an idea carried over from Final Fantasy XIV - in-game get-togethers for artists/writers/creatives of all kinds to hang out, chat, and create together! Get a nice outfit together, find someone that inspires you, and create! Then afterwards, everyone posts their creations under the same tag (ours is #VSArtParty) so others can see, interact, and share! There is no off-site discord server or anything for art parties (well, these ones at least), since the idea is to encourage community creativity and interaction! Simply put, there's one thing I always say in every one of these posts, which will forever hold true: the 'goal' of an art party isn't to be drawn, but to draw others, and share with the community!

Now, those who have been to previous parties know the basics about times and /squadjoin stuff by now, but for those who don't know or would just like a refresher, details about location and other such things are under the cut!

Location:

Lake Mourn is absolutely massive and basically impossible to miss since it takes up the entire West side of the map. If you head to Hero's Compass Waypoint and hop off the edge down onto the ice, that's the spot! I expect people will spread out a lot with this much room, so you may have to wander a bit to find where people have decided to set up shop!

Time & Squad Details:

As always, the party will consist of two separate events, technically with an hour in between though people with multiple accounts often hop from one to the other immediately.

The first party will be on EU servers and begin at 9pm Central European Summer Time (aka 3pm Eastern Daylight Time or 5 hours before in-game reset). I’ll be hosting on my EU alt account, so to join either /squadjoin or whisper Runa Gravemourn for an invite.

The second party will be on NA servers and begin at 7pm Eastern Daylight Time (aka 1am Central European Summer Time or 1 hour before in-game reset). This one I’ll be hosting on my main account, so to join either /squadjoin or whisper Valdis Kogrunner for an invite.

IMPORTANT NOTE RE: POTENTIAL MAP CLOSURES: Last time we were in Hoelbrak we had issues with very frequent map closures. To try and keep us together as much as possible, I'm actually going to suggest everyone join and stay in squad unless absolutely necessary so when we jump together we're more likely to end up in the same place. Ideally the map doesn't close every 15min but who's to say? We'll keep our fingers crossed. Should the squad cap out I'll enlist the help of another guildmate to get a second one going for further cat herding, so if you attempt to join my squad and it's full, please whisper me and I'll have the second squad's commander invite you to theirs instead!

Closing Words:

I may have been spending the last few parties quietly watching without much input, but these really are one of the highlights of my time in game, and of my month in general! I love seeing everyone come out and have fun making memories together, and I hope to see many new and returning faces this time around as well! Thank you all for making these events so special, and I'll see you all on Saturday! ♥

[writingquestionsanswered]

Any tips for writing dialogue that feels real? A lot of the stuff I’ve been trying to write feels clunky and forced.

Why Your Dialogue Feels Inauthentic and Clunky

1 - You Haven't Developed Your Character Voices

Character voice is the way your character's personality comes out in the things they think and say. It's how little or often they speak, whether they're concise or wordy, it's the slang and types of words they use, it's speech quirks like saying "um" or "uh" a lot, it's bad habits like interrupting people, the facial expressions and hand gestures/body language they use when they speak, how things like attitude/knowledge/beliefs affect what they say, and even things like tone of voice and accent. Having a good handle on who your characters are and how that affects what they say when they talk is the first crucial step in writing smooth, authentic dialogue.

2 - You've Got Too Much Dialogue or Not Enough

Good stories are a balance between exposition (explaining), action (things happening), and dialogue (conversation.) That doesn't mean it has to be an even three-way split, but you generally wouldn't want to have a 50/30/20 split, for example. When your dialogue gets lost in the exposition and action, it stands out like a sore thumb when it does occur, and all that attention and pressure on these occasional conversation can make them feel naturally awkward. And when your dialogue overwhelms the exposition and action, there's just so much of it, the awkwardness comes from the sense that these characters never shut-up. So, try to have a reasonable balance of dialogue to action and exposition in every scene, chapter, and the overall story to whatever degree is possible. Again, that doesn't mean you can't have an occasional scene or chapter that's light or heavy on dialogue--as long as it's reasonably balanced overall, it's fine.

3 - Your Characters Are Too Long-Winded

Good dialogue is direct... every line plays a role in furthering the purpose of the conversation, promoting character development, or adding to the reader's understanding of the situation or setting. There are no throwaway lines and no unnecessary soliloquies. Everything is communicated in the fewest words possible--within reason. Your characters don't need to sound like they're speaking in code. They just don't need to spend two paragraphs to communicate that it's snowing.

4 - You're Trying Too Hard to Be "Realistic"

When writing dialogue, it can be tempting to render it out the way we hear it and speak it in real life. So we're tempted to add a lot of pauses, trailing off moments, interruptions, interjections (things like um/ah/hmm/huh/gah/what?!/OMG!) And, perhaps worst of all, over using strange spellings and dropped letters to render accents and speech disability (see: Writing Character Slang and Accents.) While you can do these things sparingly/thoughtfully, you have to be careful about overdoing it in the name of realism, because too much of this stuff actually does the opposite and makes your dialogue feel unauthentic.

5 - You've Got a Couple of "Talking Heads"

When dialogue is just a back and forth of lines, it comes across like a couple of floating heads having a conversation in an empty room. It doesn't feel realistic because in real life, we move our faces and bodies, interact with the environment and people around us, and we're aware of the sensory details of our surroundings. So, make sure to include all of that in your dialogue scenes, too.

AND THE #1 REASON - You're Repeating Dialogue Tags

One of the biggest reasons dialogue ends up sounding clunky and inauthentic is it's over-tagged...

"What time is it?" Jeff asked. "It's eleven," Sarah said.

Pam frowned. "Already?"

"Yep, we're super late," Sarah replied. "We should go."

Jeff laughed and said, "Yeah, we probably should"

It's clunky, it's awkward, it doesn't feel real... See my post Avoiding Repetition with Dialogue Tags for help in cutting back.

I hope that helps!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I've been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I've learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

Learn more about WQA

Visit my Master List of Top Posts

Go to ko-fi.com/wqa to buy me coffee or see my commissions

[yukidragon]

For those of you in the Something's Wrong with Sunny Day Jack fandom who are concerned by the recent rumblings going on, I gently request that you try to remain calm and not jump to conclusions.

This is a situation that is unpleasant and has multiple sides to it, but we do not need to go up in arms. We're an overall kind and compassionate community. I know that it's natural to want to defend someone who is having a hard time, but there is no enemy here to fight. No one wants a war in this fandom or for anyone to be attacked.

Please remember that, at the end of the day, there are real people on the other side of the screen, with feelings that can be hurt and boundaries that can be crossed. Let's do our best to be kind and respectful.

I'll try to summarize what I know of the situation to the best of my ability. Please forgive the gaps, as there are a number of things that I still don't know about. This will be placed behind the cut, as the topics of non-consent in fiction and personal boundaries will be discussed.

Also, I must emphasize to those unaware - I am not officially affiliated with SnaccPop Studios. I am just a big supporter of their work and acquainted with many people involved with the team and the community. Do not take my words as an official statement from anyone on the development team. I am just a fan hoping to clear up the confusion that has made many in the fandom express concern about this incident.

An artist in the Something's Wrong with Sunny Day Jack fandom has recently shut down their tumblr page and deleted their twitter presence. Before they left, they sent heartfelt private messages to members of the fandom as an unspoken sort of farewell. This, understandably, has disheartened a number of people to see this artist go, myself included.

The artist in question had stated in the past that they were harassed for the content that they created. Their art often involved darker themes, particularly non-consent.

This fact, coupled with their abrupt departure, has led many to the impression that this artist received further harassment to the point that they decided to close down their social medias and leave the fandom entirely.

This possibility in turn led to concern and upset, which were expressed in some posts on twitter. Without full context or information, these posts in turn have apparently led others in the fandom to feel alarmed that something bad was actively happening to members of the community.

I do not know the reason why this artist left so abruptly. They did not give a reason publicly. We do not know if harassment was the cause or some other reason entirely. Their parting messages were ones of kindness and gratitude to individuals in the fandom. I have interacted with this artist in the past, and they showed themselves to be a very friendly and kind individual in all of our interactions.

I do not know the details about the harassment that the artist faced. I have not seen instances of it for myself. That isn't to say that it didn't exist. Accusations like this should not be taken lightly, and the situation must be treated with care to avoid victim blaming. It is vital to have all the facts before coming to any conclusions.

I do know that the artist was criticized for not properly tagging content warnings on their artwork at times. This was something they strived to correct when it was pointed out to them.

Content warnings are not something to take lightly. They are a vital tool to help people to make an informed choice about the content they could potentially access, so that they might avoid subject matter that they find distasteful or distressing.

When tags are absent or are misused, it is important to point this out to the poster in a calm and respectful manner. It's then important for the poster to be gracious and edit their post to add the proper warnings and safeguards so that people can make an informed decision about whether or not they wish to engage with that sort of content.

Asking something be tagged properly and put behind some sort of warning isn't a form of criticism or harassment. This is a matter of informed consent, which is vital, especially in NSFW spaces. This is a matter of respect and kindness.

We do not know if this is the harassment that the artist said they were experiencing. Let's be kind and not make assumptions that this criticism and the harassment are one and the same. Until the artist makes a statement on the subject for themselves, or screenshots surface on the subject, we simply don't know what they had to deal with. It is also not our place to pry if the artist does not wish to go into detail about it.

Aside from the content warning issue is the subject matter itself. There were many in the fandom made uncomfortable seeing the character of Sunny Day Jack in particular depicted as someone who violates consent.

Consent is a big part of the game. The original creator of Something's Wrong with Sunny Day Jack has repeatedly gone out of their way to state that non-consent is not intended to be part of this game's story. This is stated plainly in the official content warnings for the game as well.

Jack was designed to be incapable of doing anything to the player without their consent. As stated on the official tumblr, Jack will never hurt the player, and he genuinely cares about the player.

The game's script is being modified to make this point clearer, as one route in the demo led to many misinterpreting that the main character wasn't consenting to have sex with Jack. There is even going to be a softcore mode and other accessibility features for the comfort of the players. SnaccPop Studios has also hired sensitivity consultants to try and avoid any misunderstandings in the future.

There are many of us in the fandom who are not comfortable with non-consent, myself included. There are also those who are comfortable with it depicted in fiction who are not comfortable with Sunny Day Jack specifically being involved with non-consenting sexual content. Then there are those who don't mind or even enjoy non-consent in fiction in general.

These are all valid feelings. No one is wrong for the way they feel on the topic. We're all adults in this community, capable of choosing to consent to engage in whatever topic that we enjoy. Consensual non-consent, including in the form of art and literature, is like any other kink, even it isn't for everyone.

We should be allowed to opt out of experiences we don't wish to engage with. This is why giving warnings is so important, so we can decide as an individual if we are comfortable engaging in this form of consensual non-consent.

There is no official statement from SnaccPop Studios about the creation of fan work that depicts darker subject matter than what is contained in the game. I'm unaware of any statement that requests fans not create anything involving non-consent in their fan works. As such, I strongly urge people in the fandom not to jump to any assumptions on that topic. Let's let the team speak for themselves on how they feel about fans creating this sort of content.

We don't have a statement from the artist why they chose to deactivate their social media pages and remove their content. We should not make assumptions on the cause or go on the offense against a potential threat that might not even exist. If the artist wants to make their reasons publicly known, I'm sure they will say so if and when they choose to do so. Until then, we should respect their privacy and simply wish them well.

As for the harassment the artist faced before this, we should avoid making assumptions there as well. Without knowing the extent of it or who was involved, it's not something we should be meddling with. Doing so might cause more unintentional harm than good.

To summarize:

It is important to tag your art/writing/etc. appropriately when there is content that might be cause the viewer distress.

It is important to not make assumptions about someone's motivations or opinions on a topic.

It's important not to harass real people over fictional characters.

A person's boundaries and consent are important and should be respected.

We need to try to remain calm when we see something alarming pop up on our feeds and not rush to immediate emotional reactions.

It's important to take the time to get the facts and properly digest them before coming to your own conclusions about what to do with that information.

I hope this post helps clears up some of the confusion floating around. I'm sorry that I'm unable to give the full story of what is going on, but, ultimately, it is not my story to tell. I can only tell you what I have observed and request that we all try to treat each other with kindness and respect.

Thank you for listening to me ramble. Be good to each other and take care of yourselves. Your feelings matter.

[another-blog-about-miis]

I'm tired of this blog, goodbye.

This communication is shit and I'm fucking tried, I already left it like a month ago but I kept this running so I can continue entertaining people. But I honestly don't see the point anymore.

I still love WDY, but the fandom is shit. If I make art of it, I'm not going to post it on this blog anymore, I'm no longer going to take drawing requests for this blog.

This isn't about the drama that is happening right now, I'm just done.

Thank you to those who have supported me and my art, I'm not going to tell you my other blogs' names in fear of people from the situation coming after me.

To those people, I can't be on your side or Lilith's because I have not seen proof of your claims. I am sorry if these things did happen to you. I can promise I do not condule Lilith's actions if they did, in fact, happen. I'm not going to talk to you or Lilith at all, so please don't contact me. I already got anonymous asks, calling me a freak. I've already blocked the person who said that and deleted the asks.

I never wanted to be a part of this, I was only trying to help with what little information I had at the time.

I do not condule minors making fetish art or telling people to kill themselves. I'm not that type of person.

I now know to just leave these things alone and to only step in when things get too far.

I hope all parties of this drama will get peace, and I wish you all a good day.

Me and my AUs all say goodbye, and we're sorry we can't stay to entertain you anymore. We all wish you the best of luck and that you've enjoyed our time together. Even though it was short, I had a grand time. I wish it didn't have to end like this, but all things come to an end, and it's best to just accept it with open arms and smile knowing we had our fun.

Goodbye, my dear friends, may we meet again some sunny day on a different blog or different a site. <3

[cowboyjen68]

hi jen, i just followed you and this is really random but ive seen some of your posts helping younger people and it really struck a cord and i need to just let the words fall out of me.

ive been having issues with my girlfriend she cheated on me but this situation is very complicated and we're both fucked up people but i know she still loves me and i really love her. but my anxiety and our lack of communication is really bad right now and im so worried she might not love me the same anymore

ontop of this im 18 and for the past id say 5ish years my mental health and family life has been getting worse, getting diagnosis is hard especially with mentally ill and just overall bad parents that somehow dont understand or believe. i know im deppresed and have been i have anxiety, sever paranoia maybe bpd and bipolar and autism and everything is just so much. now the one person i had is something thats making everything hurt more and i just don't know where to go, im trying to get help but its so slow in this country and i feel so lost and tired i barely eat now and when i do its ether rare or unhealthy and everything is so much i want to collapse.

i hope this isn't to much to randomly send anonymously but you just seem really kind and helpful. thank u for your reply if you do

HI and please accept my apologies for the delay on answering this. I am sorry you are going through so much. My kids are adopted from foster care and I had many kids in my home for up to 5 years who eventually went back home. That is to say I have a lot of experience with mental illness, the systems that treat them, trauma and kids who came from unstable home lives.

At the ripe old age of 18 you have plenty of time to find love and contentment but right now might not be the time. I understand there might be odd circumstances that caused your girlfriend to cheat on you. If you feel betrayed and lost trust that is a feeling that is next to impossible to overcome for people with no comorbidities let alone a teen trying to figure herself out and deal with navigating the broken mental health/care system.

It is actually quite normal for young love to change and get redefined into friendship even when the circumstance are the best. Her cheating on you might very well be a sign that your relationship is in flux and not what you thought it was. A romance that has run its course is not a failure, relationships do not have to last forever to be important and real and worth having had.

It might be scary to think of not being with her, of not having your "one" person that you can count on but I do believe you can get farther working on yourself if you put time and energy into you and not dividing it up between you and her.

There is a lot of precedent set for women to set aside their romance and intimacy in order to be just friends while one or both does some work on herself. Sometimes it is necessary to stay involved for emotional support or financial support, that is just the reality of our world. Living single can be very difficult.

Please consider letting go of the relationship in its current form and putting your energy of yourself. Letting go of the stress of trying to repair what you had with her will remove so much pressure from you and from her that you will feel much more ready to tackle your mental state.

I promise. You are not a failure, she is not "the bad guy" in this story. Take all the wonderful things you shared with her keep those with you when you want a reminder that it loving her was worth your time even if it didn't end like you planned.

Seek mental health help but starting small. A therapist can help you begin to talk through things and often she can help you find additional resources like a medical Dr, public subsidies for insurance or free clinics to assist you in getting medication and mental health support. Most counties have a social services office and those employees are a wealth of information.

[gardenerian]

new to this amazing fandom and imposter syndrome is raging thru me. any advice on how to take the plunge and create? or do you think all the well known creators here are already established?

what makes a fic great and a 'classic? regular updates? being active on socials? i posted once and was basically ignored so im scared now and in my head.

sorry for all the questions

× imposter anon

hey there 💓 welcome to the fandom! this is a brilliant, silly, LOVING place, and i am so glad you're here! i'm sorry you're feeling a bit unsure, ty for coming to chat with me 🫂✨

first, i'll say that NO, i don't think there's a cap on creators here. what i love about this fandom is that it's constantly growing and evolving - almost like it's breathing? there are new people who have just binged the show, fans who are reconnecting, and goobers like me who will never let go 😇 no matter what, we are here to gobble up words and art and thoughts and FRIENDSHIP!

honestly, i think the trick for me was connecting. i joined shameless tumblr in 2019 and screamed into the absolute VOID before i started interacting with others. once i started reaching out and talking with others, it was easier for me to share my writing or find the encouragement to start making gifs. there is a BIG focus on community here, and i find that people are so eager and generous with their energy. we WANT to cheer you on and champion your work! we WANT to beta and read and give advice/tips/love.

so i would say not to be shy (easier said than done, i know!), and to share your beautiful self! a lot of users have tracked tags, which is a good way to share and connect. i track #gardenermel (sometimes i am bad at looking, but i'll always get there!), and i'd love to see what you've been up to. and there are many others who love to see creations this way! if you feel comfortable, you can reach out via asks and strike up conversations! all of my friendships here started this way.

there are plenty of ways to get started! fandom events are especially useful for trying things out. depending on what you'd like to create, you could check out @galladrabbles @gallacrafts @gallavichmeta @shamelesscreatorsnetwork @gallavichprompts... there's a yearly @spicygallavichcollab and all kinds of events hosted by @gallavichthings. honestly, the list goes on! these are excellent resources for sharing creations, and a great way to meet members of the fandom.

there's also a host of discord groups associated with some of these initiatives! check out the blogs for links. plus, the big ol' gallabitches server (18+). you'll find a lot of us there, and it's a lovely space to chat about your creations (and everything else!).

as for fic classics, i think that depends on who you ask! there are certainly some fandom staples, but what's great about this space is the WIDE range of interests and ideas. people have put these guys in every single situation, and we continue to be fucking psyched about it. as long as ian, mickey, and the whole damn gang feel true to themselves, i am (generally) fucking here for it. i don't post regularly AT ALL, but i still find that people are so lovely when i do. there's no race to be won here, fandom is about ENJOYING yourself. so i say: please keep trying! drop me a link! i don't catch everything and i WANT to see what yall are doing!

i hope this helps, even in some small way. i know coming into a new fandom can seem daunting, but we're all here for the love of it, and it's so fantastic to keep sharing it! 🍅

anyone else have thoughts? i love you!

[gensokyogarden]

it's almost new years and you guys have been there for me so much during this year so tonight I do want to make a post trying to recognize a lot of people within the community. My head is pretty fuzzy right now so I fear I'm gonna forget some folks, in which case I'm honestly genuinely very sorry, but know that so many of you have touched my life in a positive way. Since I wasn't fully around on Thanksgiving either, consider this my chance of telling you all that I'm thankful for you too.

Some of you may not see this. Either because you don't follow this blog or you've been offline for a while. But I hope even if you don't see this post you still are able to understand my feelings towards you.

At the moment I would prefer if people don't reblog this. I'm not the most comfortable with my out of character thoughts being spread around. However if you know someone in this but think they won't see it on their own you are welcome to link them to this. Also if you're mentioned in this and you REALLY want to save it, I guess I can't stop you from reblogging.

Ruler: It feels like anytime I'm in a rough spot you always have kind words for me. With how often you're in character I just deeply respect you always breaking it for me. You've helped me to feel safe in the community during a very difficult time. That means the world to me.

Annette-mun: I know we only met a year ago but you have become an incredibly close friend to me. Being honest, I rank you as one of my best friends. I have fun with all of the boardgames we play together as well as the connections we've made between a lot of our muses. I always want to recognize all the work you put in sending me those ask spams. I'm sorry that because of head stuff I haven't been able to answer most of the new set. It makes me feel as if I've failed to respect the effort that you have put in. But I hope some day in the future I can fix that. I'm very glad we're friends.

Vel: You're a really funny friend and I care about you a lot. I feel that sometimes I'm not sensitive enough to things that may bother you and worry I may have upset you at times in the past. If I have, I'm really sorry. You write Kyouko really well and your ocs are also quite fun. Thanks for letting me make Nagi. Sometimes you say things that make me feel you are self-concious about your blog and other things. So I just wanna reiterate that I am in your corner and here for you whenever you need.

Slap: I was shy towards you at first, I'll admit. It may not seem it but I'm kinda a shy person in general and I'm nervous to warm up to people, but I'm glad you joined the Touhou community. You're a really funny guy. I love reading your posts on my dash and now I also love playing the occasional game with ya. Your ability to do voice and to commit to bits is astounding. I'm really glad I met you.

Argo: You're someone who is always there for me. I really appreciate that. I left the Fate community for personal reasons years ago now. I'm very glad that, despite that, I still ended up meeting you. Because you've been such a good friend to me. I'm glad that you've gotten somewhat into Touhou because it gives us more room to interact. You've really been there when I've needed you. Often you apologize and say you don't do enough but you've done so much for me. You're special to me.

Hoche: Through all the struggles I've gone through you have been very supportive of me. You have been a level headed voice of support and advice. I think that if it were not for you I would have been worse off in many different circumstances. Aside from that you are a very talented writer. I find myself stunned by some of what I've seen you write. Thank you for everything you've done for me and for being my friend.

Zane: You always show me cool warhammer things and that's special to me. I also really like Nyalter. I love ocs in general, but I think you have done a phenomenal job in giving her a life and story that is uniquely hers. I find it to be quite inspirational and it really pushes me to work harder on my own original characters.

Amber: I have mentioned this before but you were the first person to welcome me into the community. That is always going to be special to me. During that period when you left I teared up a fair amount because it felt like things would always be so different with you gone. I'm very glad that you came back. I really like all your ocs. I'm glad Eri isn't gone but I'm also really happy to be seeing the opportunity for your other ocs to shine as well. They're all fun, but I'm particularly a fan of Anna.

Kay: You've given me some of the advice that has helped me the most when I have been in a bad spot. I can't thank you enough for that. You've stopped me from making really bad decisions. You've also just been a fun and supportive friend. I am very interested in your Reimu and the story arc you've created with the hakurei god.

Swigg: I know we haven't talked much lately. I think our schedules don't line up the best. But you recently mentioned trying to get back into Tumblr. I'll be very happy if you do. Your ocs are fun and you put a lot of love and care into the canon characters you write. I think you add a lot to the community.

Sethy: I didn't know it for a while but back in the Fate community I followed your arknights blog and admired you there. I'm super glad I have gotten the opportunity to meet you and to become your friend. I think that all the things you do are so cool. Like you're a vtuber that's incredible. I always wanted to stream but could never work up the courage. You also know the creators of all the walfas I love. I just think its so cool. You have such a history within the community. I know that you suffered a very bad tragedy this year. I don't believe I was in a good enough headspace at that time to have provided you with the support a friend should have given and I deeply regret that. I just hope you're doing well.

Noka: I think you're a real sweetie and also really funny. I'm glad to see you posting on your sfw blog a lot more again because I really love seeing you on my dash. I'm hoping that we can do a lot more threads in the future because its always fun to write our muses together.

Minnie: Maybe the only person with the same brain worms as me. I know that lately we have not talked much but I hope you are doing well. I just wanna say that I really love your art.

Aurora: My apprentice and buddy, hehe. I know I haven't been around much but I want you to know that I'm glad you decided to join the rpc. You're so full of ideas and kindhearted. You have such phenomenal oc ideas and have such a talent for making danmaku. I think someday you may be the centerpiece of the community.

Sats: We haven't spoken too often but like Amber you were one of the first folks to interact with me in the community. Alongside that I find your writing to be phenomenal. As are your headcanons. The work that you put in to research, especially on folklore, is just so inspirational. It drives me to want to learn everything I can.

Momi: Hey Momi. It's been a while since you've been around and I miss you a lot. I know we still message on discord occasionally so its not like I can't reach out to ya. But I just miss you being in the rpc a lot. You were such a great writer and always doing something fun. But I imagine you've got a whole bunch of difficult challenges ahead of you. I've heard the career you're pursuing is really rough. I hope that you're thriving in it though.

Sarience: You've always been a good pal to me. I have a lot of fun writing with Neka in both forms as well as your other muses. There's a lot of asks from you I haven't answered yet. I'm really sorry about that. It feels disrespectful. Still I hope to be able to do more in the future. Thank you for always being interested in interacting with my muses, even when I was very new and unestablished.

Kyo: I really really like everytime that I see you on my dash. You write your muses in such a fun and engaging way. I hope that we get to interact a lot more in the future. I also know you've started something new in the last few months, not gonna be specific since I'm not sure if you've shared that part of your personal life on Tumblr, but I wish you the best of luck at it. I think you're going to succeed hard!

Ran: Ran I guess I just first wanna say I consider you a really good and special friend. When we've spoken you've often alluded to social anxiety and feeling like you've said embarassing things. So I want to restate that I've never been put off by what you've said and I love talking to you. As well as roleplaying and doing boardgames. I have so much fun pairing our muses up our causing wacky hijinks. I haven't seen you on your blogs much lately. Maybe I've just missed you but if not I hope you return to the rpc soon. It's not the same place without you.

Metal: You've been a long time friend to me by this point. Longer than a lot of folks on this list. I really appreciate that a lot. We haven't talked too much lately but I hope you're doing well. I also know not all of our fandoms sync up but I'm always down to interact anyways.

Nep: Hey Nep I haven't really seen you on Tumblr lately. I'm hoping that's just because we've been active at different times but if not I hope you're back soon. If you're not, I hope you're happy wherever you are. I think that you're real fun to write with and you've got original characters I'm excited to do much more with. I also believe that you had an event while I was gone that I'll hopefully be able to catch up on sometime soon.

Koi: I know I've not been around much lately but I hope that you're doing well. I've not really been in the headspace for horror lately but you're very good at bringing a unique horror flair to things.

Plumber: Hey we don't really personally know each other all that well but you're always making fun and wacky posts that I love to see on my dash. It feels like the rpc would be a lot less fun without you here. You also seem to be an incredibly kind person.

Kaali: A friend I've had for quite a while now but that I don't talk to enough. Sorry about that I'm just genuinely not the best with conversations. I have mad respect for all the work you put into your original characters and into your ideas. Like you really pull out all the stops.

Awoo: I've admired your ability to create interesting and fun original characters a lot. Several decisions I've made to develop my skills as a roleplayer have been inspired by you. I know you've had some mental health struggles of your own and I haven't heard from you lately so I hope you're doing alright wherever you are.

Sades: During some really difficult moments you were there for me when not many other people were. I'm always going to appreciate that. You're also the reason I got into Touhou. Which means that without you, chances are I woule not have met the vast majority of people here or found a community where I feel I belong.

Cobalt: I am always ecstatic when I see your posts on my dash. I love your Chen and think that you're a lot of fun. I have not been around much but when I have been I've seen you talking about things like not feeling you have much to do in the community. I can't make decisions for you but I do want to say that I think you are a fundamental piece of our rpc. I would be sad not having you here.

Teeps: I was shy about approaching you at first but you're incredibly cool. A lot of the fandoms you are in I'm not in but your posts get me interested in them anyways. Like I have no clue who that green sonic character is but you give her such an energy. I'm real glad to know ya. As far as the 2hu rpc goes you've been around a lot longer than me and I love hearing your own personal that you've developed.

Cait: I need to pop in and catch your streams more. I think that you're very cool to see on the dash. I especially love the way that you write your Sakuya. I really cherrish her interactions with my Reimu.

Sev: First of all. A while ago you sent me a very kind message wishing me well in my mental health struggles. I was not in the best place then so I did not appropriately respond. So thank you for that it truly meant a lot to me. I believe that you put a stunning amount of work into the characters you write, giving them so much detail and layers. Its inspiring and I just really want to appreciate you for it.

Hanafuda: You haven't been around much and last we spoke you alluded to a rough spot. So I hope if you ever see this that you're doing well. It was always fun having another Miko on the dash for mine to banter with. I also looked forward to seeing more of the other muses you played. Maybe someday you'll return.

Frozen: Everytime I see one of your posts it makes me smile. Honestly you've got some of the funniest jokes in the fandom. Some I don't get but I still feel they'd be hilarious if I got them. Also I have noticed you often commission art for other people. I find that to be a very sweet and kindhearted thing. So I consider you to be the heart of the community.

Fox: I don't know you very well but I've recently seen your multimuse popping up and it seems very fun. So I want to get to know ya in the future.

Chiru: We've not really spoken but I think you make some really great posts. Very well written headcanons and roleplays. So I just wanna say I'm always happy seeing you on my dash.

Draco: you're not in the touhou fanbase but you have been a long time friend. I haven't heard much from you lately so I hope you're doing well. I'm here if ya need me.

Sturm: I think that all your fairy posts are incredibly. You truly are a star of my dashboard. Hopefully someday we'll interact more. I'd like that.

Xana: You seem to have so much lore for your blogs, its really cool. It seems you've been around a long while so there's a lot of history. Someday I'd like to sit down and hear all about it from you. I also find your writing to be quite fun.

Jacob: we don't interact too much but I'm always excited to see someone posting walfas images. So that has always made you stick out in my dash and brighten it. Hope you're doing well.

Geisthonoredferry: As of yet, I don't believe we've interacted. But you're always liking my posts thst's something I really appreciate. Hopefully sometime I can get to know your oc.

Carp: Last I saw you were in a rough spot so I hope things are well now. You're newer to my dash but you seem very kind hearted and jovial. Also your ocs sre red as hell and go've got good face claim tastes.

Crim: You're a real cool friend with a lot of cool ideas. I love any interactions that our muses have together. Although my favorite is Kutaka/Eiki because it's somehow both a very obvious ship and yet a rare one. I think that they are very cute together. I also like the sisterhood of Reimu and Kisume. It's an unexpected but fun dynamic.

Mugenri-mun: I don't believe I know your screen name but you've been real supportive of me through my hardship and gave me a person to speak to. I would not be in as good a place without you. Also I'm glad someone is repping Len'en.

Kcmeiji & Closedheartedgirl: I wanted to note you both as you are both Komeiji blogs thay popped up and then disappeared while I've been got on hiatus. I just think that's a bit disappointing. The Komeiji are some of my favorites.

That's about all I have to say. It was kind of tough to word it all out but those are things I want y'all to know.

[tavyliasin]

Making the Most of Discord - Fandom Server Layout

As I've had more than a few positive reviews of my delightful House of Hopeful Sinners (aside from the fun fake reviews we put together for the post in my pinned advertising the space) I figured I might use the setup to help demonstrate the potential ways to use the features when making your own server.

This is by no means saying "this is the only right and correct way to set up a server" it's more of a "this is how I manage it and it has worked really well for our purposes, feel free to use what we learned from it in your own spaces!"

I'll put different headings below the cut as we go so you can skip to what you need, and a little shameless self promotion right here for our creative focused 18+ NSFW Baldur's Gate 3 Fandom space~ CWs - Screenshots show mention of NSFW topics and titles. There are no details but some of the topics are words that would be on CW lists.

Rules, Ownership, and Mods

Starting out your own server is exciting, and we don't like to sit here and think "we're going to have problems", but it really is best to try and anticipate issues and put rules in place to prevent them. This is really going to vary based on the kind of place you are running, but as long as everything is clear your users can feel confident in the space. Nothing can damage a community more than a disagreement that is blown way out of proportion or an incident that gets out of hand. None of us are immune to mistakes, either, so being prepared is the best first step!

Make Your Rules Clear

Ambiguity in the rules is a very easy stumbling block. Keep your rules nice and clear, as specific as they need to be, and make sure that your moderation team are happy with the rules and how you would like them to be enforced when needed. I strongly recommend using a reaction role bot with your rules post so members agree they have read and understood the rules before entering the main server (more on roles and bots later!)

Choose Your Mods Wisely

Temptation might be to choose mods from friends, and that can be a good way to go! However, even with the best intentions, not everyone is going to mod in the way you would like them to. It can often be better to be a little more selective, and either offer the position to people who have mod experience already or use an application form with some questions that will help see if the mods will uphold your server values the way you prefer.

It can also be helpful to cover different time zones if your server is international, and having enough people will mean that nobody feels pressured or guilty if they need a break for any reason. Remember too that mods are volunteers, if you're the owner then final decisions and responsibility will come down to you in the end.

Age Restriction and User Safety

If you want to host NSFW content you need to be aware of user safety. Your most basic tool here is to set channels as age restricted. This is technically enough to cover you legally as the user has to manually confirm via a popup that they are old enough to view the content.

Personally? I prefer spaces that are explicitly 18+. I ensure this in HOHS by having people specify to a mod what year they were born. People are less likely to lie to someone directly than they are to click away a popup. This said, I do not recommend taking IDs or personal details due to Data Protection laws in various countries (as well as your members' rights to privacy, should they wish it). Verbal confirmation of the year of birth is fine. If you find someone is underage later, you can kick/ban them.

If your space is open to all ages with only some 18+ channels, you may want to verify birth year with users before they get a role to access those channels.

The reason for this is twofold. First, obviously, is safeguarding minors in online spaces. Although we are all well aware that minors access unsuitable content on their own, it shouldn't be encouraged or openly allowed, particularly with socialising with adults. The second reason is that any adult discussing NSFW topics with a known minor - even from an informal educational point of view without any unpleasant behaviour or intention - is very much at risk of ending up on a watch list. I'm very serious on that one. I have friends who have seen entire Discord servers and all their members in real legal trouble and on offender registers because the server knowingly allowed minors to participate in NSFW content channels.

So. Keep all of your members safe, check when you need to, and set up your channels and rules in the way that suits your space.

Categories and Basic Layout

Layout and Category Names

Your top category should be your welcome area if you have one, with your rules and whatever channel you want people to arrive in first at the very top. It can be tempting to put your admin section at the top, but this can make it more awkward to make your server invitations. Each category should also be nice and clear as to what is found there, so members can find the channels they want even when all the categories are collapsed.

This is how I arrange my welcome area, which is several channels which all technically contain rules (Contract Signing is the main rule list which users are directed to manually when we verify their age and give them access - more on that later!) but I personally prefer to make it easier for people to find things separately rather then being overwhelmed in one long channel. Use the layout that works for you!

A lot of servers also prefer to have separate categories for NSFW content, which is a very good way to run things if you want to have specifically separated content for peoples' comfort. You won't see that in the HOHS channels though as we are set up to be NSFW by default, and there is essentially only one pure SFW chat channel.

Naming Channels and Server Maps

I also personally prefer easy channel names. Whilst fun nods to fandom things might be an aesthetic/flavour choice, it may not be as helpful for your members to know where a piece of content or conversation belongs~ Having a map with a brief description of each channel's purpose will also help members to navigate, especially in a larger space.

Whilst it can be nice to use symbols or emojis in your channel names to denote the content (particularly using the 18 symbol for NSFW areas) this might make it a lot harder to link the channels in your server map or for users to link the channel to say "let's move our chat to this channel" when the topic changes, or "there's more on that topic over here". Emojis can work at the end of channel names with less interference, and honestly is something I am considering for aesthetics, though it's a lower priority.

Text Channels, Forum Channels, Voice Channels, and Threads

This is a big one for organisation so I'm going to go over them in sub headings one by one!

Text Channels

These are your bread and butter basic chat channels. They're wonderful for discussions and general chat, but in my opinion their weakness is in content sharing. Things like fan creations can get lost quickly when people respond to them, so you risk either discouraging the chat about a piece of work or losing work in the sea of conversation.

You can, of course, use slow mode in text channels so that users can only post once in each period of time. For extra busy servers, or open public servers, this can be a useful tool in spam prevention too!

Messages can be pinned in text channels which is handy for instructions, references, or other important information, but you are limited to a maximum of 20 pins and they might not be obvious to all users.

There are other ways to refine your text channels. For example, you can select whether people can post images, voice notes, files, and links into a channel. This is very useful if you need to prevent spam in a more important channel, or if you do not want to moderate the use of voice notes (more on those later).

For things like WIPs, some people like to have a slow mode so one new post every 6 hours and contain the discussion on that post to Threads. This can be helpful for some setups and work well, but it may still make older works harder to find so it's better just for more regular progress rather than a library of works.

Threads

Threads are essentially a side conversation within a text channel. They're fantastic for certain purposes like discussing an item that was shared, or containing a long conversation on one topic, and particularly things like discussions on lore and research that people might want to come back to at a later date without having to search through a text channel.

Text channels have a setting for how long threads will remain visible in a channel list.

After this time, threads are still available within the channel from the threads tab, but won't show up in the channel list until there is new activity inside the thread. Below is what threads might look like when active in the channel list - we use them in HOHS for Kink Specific Chat which means that only the people who have joined the threads will see them when they're active, and allows for people to choose which of those in depth conversations they want to be a part of. Informed Consent, really, and I keep a list of links to the threads in the CW list channel so people have an easy reference to find the content they do want to engage with more.

But these could be used for anything you like, from character specific chats to off-topic discussions, and you have the choice in your role setup to allow any members to create/use threads or have them only created by your mod/admin team so you have more control if you don't want a lot of threads popping up that are harder to moderate. This is how our kink specific topics appear in the channel list, but they are only visible here to those who have joined them. Like text channels, users can mute threads at any time and they won't get the white dot of new activity, or users can also leave threads if they want to leave that conversation entirely. Threads can be locked by moderators or put into slow mode too, so you do have options for control where needed.

(I also just want to note that the Feminization topic thread is not in the slightest bit transphobic or problematic, though it is here because not everyone is comfortable with that content and we respect that in this house~ HOHS is a very LGBTQIA+ positive and inclusive space)

Forum Channels

These are my absolute bread and butter for sharing fanfiction, art, and resources. Forums are newer to Discord, so it might take a bit of learning and convincing for more experienced users to get used to them, but trust me on this one; when you have Forums set up they are a much better way to display and discuss creative works.

The reasoning really is that works are searchable, taggable, and people can confidently discuss a work without worrying about clogging a chat channel.

Forum posts can look a lot like threads in the channel list, and have a similar timeout method for how long they stay in the channel list with no new comments/activity in them.

This is an example if how I've arranged the HOHS FanFic "Library" - I have covered the names of most of the fic post titles for other users' privacy and left my own visible as the examples for you. Similarly to Threads, only the posts that a user has interacted with will show up in their channel list, so you don't need to worry about everyone's channel lists being swamped with forum posts that aren't relevant to them.

So here, each of the speech bubble headers is the Forum Channel title. When you're actually in a forum channel you (or any member) can refine how the posts are viewed. Here's some of the art share channels. I have covered the images to protect the works, as I do keep strict rules that art must have a link to the original artwork on a public share by the artist unless the artist is the one posting (ie, no sharing paid patreon only works or things the artist has not made public) so that proper appreciation can be shown to the original.

So this is in "Gallery View" where each post appears as a square with an image preview if there are images. You'll also see tags on the posts - these are a great way to find works and sort through them! You can have up to 20 tags available, and members can apply up to 5 tags to a single post. The tags can then be selected in the gallery menu to show works with that tag on them. This is what I have under "Main Character Art"

You can choose the emojis, and you are able to use your server emojis for these tags too if you like! Unfortunately though this is going to be a tedious part of setting up forum channels, you can't copy them over.

As an example of tag filtering and List View of a Forum, here's the Villain Fic Forum. So again we have those friendly grey boxes to protect the privacy of other members, but I've left my content uncovered for you~

Here you can see I've selected the Haarlep filter, so it is showing works with the Haarlep tag starting with the most recent. List view shows a shorter preview of each piece, and I hovered over the +1 part of the tags on the third post to show you how the extra tags can be seen. The most recent comment is displayed in the preview as well.

So essentially this way people can share their art and fics without worrying they'll get lost. People can also discuss each work in its own post without a long list of threads, and browse older additions based on the tagging system or searching by title in the top bar.

I think that mostly covers forums other than the setup of them which is relatively straightforward - similar to text channels you can use slow mode for both new forum posts and/or comments on forum posts, and the tags can be whatever you want them to be. Just remember you have a maximum of 20 tags for each forum channel and a maximum of 5 per post.

The only other thing is when you are adding tags there might be errors if you have made any other changes to the channel - save those changes with this button before trying to add tags!

Voice Channels

The last area to look at is Voice Channels. These are going to be harder to moderate, so you may want to consider what your community is like and what you want and need from voice channels.

Voice channels come with their own chat channel attached which can be useful for those who don't use a mic, those just dropping by who haven't joined the voice (so you can see here I'm not actively in the VC but I can open the chat window), for sharing images/links that you're discussing in voice, and similar.

Some people prefer to have a separate text channel to chat in alongside voice, which can be better for when you're streaming or running activities, because the attached text chat takes up a part of even the popout window for the voice/streaming/activity.

There are more options like stage channels where you can have a limited number of presenters and the audience are muted. This is great if you want to host talks or specific events and watch parties!

Lots of options so you can age restrict the channels as needed, as well as setting user limits. When a voice channel is active you can also set a status to it. You can choose if members are allowed to do this or only certain roles, but it's a good way to let members know what's going on without joining.

You might need to be cautious with the quality and settings on these if people have difficulty participating with connection quality.

Again, moderation is going to be a concern in a larger or open server, so make sure you have rules established and that members know who to contact in case of issues. But when used well, voice channels can be a lot of fun and even comforting or inspiring for members to get together and play games or work on creative pieces alongside one another. You can even host watch parties with some services.

Roles and Permissions

Roles are going to be the backbone of your member organisation. Beyond the usual Mods and Member roles, you can use them for a number of different organisational and interactive features within your server.

The Order Of Roles

The function of roles will go in the order you have them in your server. This determines where they show up on the member list (it is optional to have roles separate like this), the image that will show up with a member's name who has the role (this is for level 2 and 3 boosted servers), and the colour of a user's name who has the role.

So here even if a Haarlep's Helper Mod had the Swinger of Swords role, their name would be that red tone. Similarly if a user chose both Healer of Souls and Friend of Nature, their name would be Yellow because Healer is the higher ordered colour.

Role Colours

The main thing to remember with Role Colours is to ensure that they are easy to read for people using the default light or dark mode of Discord. Those who pay for Nitro may have more options for background colours, but most members will use the defaults. You will see examples when setting the roles that can help you determine if the colour you have picked will work. The default list are balanced relatively well to have contrast to show up in a readable manner for you, so it's more the custom colours that you might have trouble with.

So that standard dark red is pretty clear on both, but this custom blue is somewhat painful on the dark mode version:

Similarly this pale yellow is perfect on the dark mode, but against the light mode background it's almost invisible.

Commonly Used Roles

Some of the most commonly used roles are for pronouns, so users have an easy way to know how to refer to their friends in chat. Some servers like to assign a colour to these for a quick visible reference. I've used images with them in HOHS

So this is also in the order so that the highest role is the one that appears next to the name (you can only have one image icon unfortunately), and hovering over the image will also show the role name.

This is just one way you can make use of the roles for your members~ I'll go over making it easy for members to choose them a bit lower down but I would like to mention one of my favourite uses of roles:

Optional Pingable Roles

These are some of the more basic alert roles I use - members can opt in, and some of them are able to be pinged (notification tag) by any members. So people can use "@ Beta Reader" to ask for those with the role if they're available to help read and edit a WIP, and the admin/mod roles can alert members to server changes with the Server News Alert role.

One way I really like to make use of these for member engagement is character based pings which are perfect for fandom servers like ours~

These are just a few, I've got them set up for a lot of characters, and allowed anyone to mention the roles. I encourage members to use them for both fics and art, so people with the role know there is new content for their favourite and where to find it. With the bot setup, people can remove their role at any time if they find the notifications overwhelming.

So this is an example where I used them for a fic, tagging the character roles. We do the same when sharing found works and art, which means those looking for the content don't miss their favourites.

Role Permissions

Your roles can all be customised to have global permissions, and each channel can have its own permission overrides where needed too. So for example you might want a role to be able to post images and files in most of the server, but you might not want that role to post them in a specific channel that you want to keep as text only.

It takes a while but properly setting up each channel will give you better control over the content to reduce the moderation work in the long run (ie, you won't need to ask people not to put things in the wrong places).

A Note On Voice Notes

Voice notes are going to be a very personal preference thing. I generally prefer not to use them, because users may not be able to listen to them at the time which makes moderation more difficult too. I have also seen issues arise from the use of voice notes, especially when people post them with no context note of what to expect.

So, personally, I disable voice notes in my server. I have seen them well used in other places, and they can arguably be an accessibility feature, however if you leave voice to text and text to voice enabled then those who need to hear or use voice instead of typing should still be able to interact as they need to.

I would generally advise asking members to leave at least a few words with their voice note, for example "replying to [username]" or "impression of [character]" or "discussion of [topic]" so that people know what to expect when they hit play. It's entirely up to each of us how we run our own spaces, however, so choose the best option for you and your server~

Helpful Bots and Setup

Bots can help you get the most out of your server without too much hard work once they're all set. These are the ones I personally use and recommend for different features, but there are a number of options out there to choose from!

Reaction Roles

If you have roles, this is the easiest way to allow people to choose and assign them for themselves and change them when they wish!

So this is using Carlbot https://carl.gg , which I have renamed "The Archivist" for a theme in our server. There are a lot of functions to Carlbot, but the most commonly used are these reaction roles.

It's relatively easy to set up, but you will need to manually type or copy the emoji code for the reacts you're using for the roles. There are a few other settings you can play with there too, like only allowing those with certain roles to pick up a new role.

It's also a great one to have people confirm they have read your rules to access the main server if you role lock your main channels to the member role.

Starboard

One fun feature that Carl (and some other bots) have is Starboard. This is a way for members to highlight their favourite messages on the server and look back at those moments! You can choose how many star reactions are needed for a post to go there, then they will automatically be sent to your starboard channel. You can also choose whether or not to include NSFW marked channels, so if you want Starboard to be SFW only that is an option. One that I didn't take for HOHS given that we are NSFW by default~

Ticket Bots

This is one of your easiest moderation tools - you can use a bot like https://ticketsbot.net/ which will allow users to raise an issue privately with ease. The command is often /open to bring up a new ticket which mods can then join - it'll show up as a thread for you. It doesn't take too much setup on the dashboard and there are other options, but this can be a lot easier than asking people to DM a mod directly.

Automated Messages

Carl and other bots can send automated messages on a schedule for you. This can also include notifying certain roles, so if you want to have a weekly progress check-in set up for creative communities, or even self care reminders a couple of times per day, that's all very easy to get running and can help you to keep the community ticking over with engagement on a semi-regular basis.

Post Embed Fixing

Meet one of my favourite content bots - Keto (Click here to add it to your server). This one takes site links to Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, and others and puts a proper visible or playable version in the server.

This is so useful particularly for TikTok where the standard Discord setup will show you a still image with a play button on it.

You can see here that the bot automatically takes the link and converts it to a playable video (which is a still image here, but you can see the buffering bar on there). As with other bots, I gave it a nickname in the server for flavour and fun~

Good Gods That's A Lot Of Work

I know, right? Setting up a server isn't something you can do overnight, not if you want to have a larger space. Often servers will reorganise as they go, making more space as they find what their needs are, but if you can set up how you want it from the start, that can make things a lot easier so people don't have to adapt and adjust as much to a change.

Any Questions?

I think I covered pretty much everything other than the very basics of server setup, but I am more than happy to help any of you with questions about the setup, use of forums, channel layout, and anything else you need with your Discord organising~

And as always, those who share our values are welcome in my House of Hopeful Sinners~

[orange-orchard-system]

I do enjoy being able to make a difference in people's lives, whether that's helping them with a big discovery, reassuring them that they're not the only ones with a particular experience, sharing a tip they find helpful, or just letting them know that, hey, plurality exists! Here are some basic terms for it! Here is how it applies to what you were talking about and why I think you might like to know about it! ... All of that fills me with pride.

But... sometimes I really hate that being myself like this is a radical act. That a lot of the work I do is really nothing more than unabashedly being myself for others to see, and the implications that has on how little plurality is known, how unsure and afraid so many of us are, how many misconceptions and assumptions are made about being more-than-one. That who I am is something I have to educate others on, something I have to be cautious about opening up to others about, and not something I can just casually mention. I'm happy that people can learn about plurality and themselves through my actions, but... it's bittersweet, because it reminds me of how unknown we are; that we have a long way to go in terms of awareness and acceptance of even the most clear-cut, well-known, easy-to-understand presentations of plurality.

I'm not new to this conundrum. Long before we started working with the plural community, we've been hanging out in queer communities, especially aspec communities. If I had a cupcake for every time I heard a "bringing out the PowerPoint to explain my sexuality/gender identity" joke, I'd have enough cupcakes to fill up the entire dessert table at a potluck, and probably have some spill over the edges onto the floor.

It's just... sometimes I fantasize about laws for plural rights and protections being passed. The work it will take to reach that point* is so daunting, and while I am hopeful about reaching it in my lifetime, it doesn't change that I am currently a tired uni student who is still trying to figure out what to do with my career. I am writing analyses on medical texts that mention DID in-between my assignments for class. I am posting jokes about my system when my fatigue leaves me lying at the top of the stairs, unable to do anything but scroll on my phone. There is so, so much to do and I am so, so limited in what I can do.

* to me, this point in plural activism and progress is half symbolic and half a literal goal I hope we achieve together. Symbolic, because at that point, we will have made such significant strides in awareness in acceptance that even politicians and government authorities cannot ignore us any longer. Literal, because pluralphobia and its parent bigotries are still serious problems, and I'd like to hope legal protection would improve at least some systems' lives.

My system is so important to me. I don't hate them. But sometimes I hate that the world is at odds with us. Sometimes I hate that I can't just be.

[I'm not giving up any of the work I'm currently doing, if that was a concern any of you had while reading this. I've just been thinking about how] the plural community is one that never really feels quiet in the way other communities I've been in feel quiet. There's always this underlying feeling, this go-go-go attitude, this sense that one of the main reasons we stick together is because no one else gets it, and we're constantly fighting against the tide for a moment to breathe. We're not constantly drowning – I see many stories of acceptance and support out there. But we're a community very aware of the water snapping at our heels, I'd say.

Goodness, I love the work we are all doing. I love each and every story of success. But sometimes I wish we could all have a quiet night in.