#I just desperately need more people to remember he literally told her he loved her a season ago

[lunar-years]

I have about a million wips percolating around in my head right now but I’m finally going to finish writing the jamie/keeley early relationship > breakup > friendship > roy/jamie/keeley future relationship study that I’ve been sitting on for like a year and a half and it’s solely out of my (maybe unjustified) level of spite over the “why would Jamie even think he stood a chance” “Jamie was never a real option and hasn’t been since season 1!!” “Since when is Jamie still hung up on Keeley didn’t he give up on that” “this came out of no where this triangle has never been a thing!!” crowd

[kraviolis]

i told y’all. i told y’all i was gonna go crazy over this post made by @gummy-goat-galaxy​

full disclosure i drew literally all of this before looking into the details of the AU so this is 70% my interpretation of his original post but i need to explain my thought process so. here’s the post explaining the details of the actual AU!!! and below is what my brain made up on the spot

ok so belos finds tiny child luz and is like “fuck everyone. this is mine now” and treats her like a goddamn princess. to him, she is a Gift From God to remind him to stay on his Righteous Path. an innocent little girl who is just so bubbly and always tries to see the good in everything, including him. she is a reminder of how Pure and Good humanity is, and seeing as though she’s the literal only human he’s had any contact with besides caleb in 400 fucking years, he is never letting the demon realm corrupt her like it did to him.

she’s basically his Lamb and he the Shepherd, and because he’s so desperate to keep her “““pure”““ he strictly keeps her within the castle and even then not all of the castle is available to her. he keeps her contact with witches to an absolute bare minimum.

he entrusts her protection specifically to hunter, despite the fact he’s only 2 years older. his reasoning is “caleb did a pretty good job raising me so this’ll be fine probably.” when belos himself cannot keep an eye on her, it’s hunter’s job. luz and hunter end up being raised in a sorta similar situation to catra & adora from she-ra but they are actually siblings and not just best friends.

(if u havent seen she-ra, basically its their abusive caretaker creating a golden child + scapegoat dynamic, where one kid can do absolutely no wrong (which doesnt mean they cant still be abused/manipulated!!) while the other kid is blamed for literally everything that goes wrong. the caretaker also regularly pits them against each other to encourage competition & keep the all power in the caretaker’s hands.)

similar to catra & adora, the whole competition thing doesnt really work. luz is just too damn kind and too damn good for hunter to ever resent her, and she’s all he really has. because hunter is the scapegoat, he grows wise to belos’s manipulations WAY sooner. it’s easier to figure out when you’re being mistreated when you literally watch ur guardian treating ur sibling so much better than how they treat u.

unfortunately, because luz cannot help but see the good in absolutely everyone and can be empathetic to a fault, she doesnt realize belos’s game until she ends up sneaking out of the castle. she actually really loves belos and is thankful for him taking her in for a long time. she calls him uncle like hunter, despite belos nudging her towards seeing him as a father bcus he sees her as a pseudo-daughter. (but luz remembers her dad, and has no desire to replace him with someone else no matter how much she cares for belos)

belos does love & adore luz, he would do almost anything to keep her happy and “innocent” and “pure”, but not to the extent that he could still end up redeemed. he still manipulates & subtly emotionally abuses her to keep her in line, but it’s only when she sneaks out and meets eda the owl lady does she start getting clued into this. and once luz learns what belos has done to hunter it’s all fucking over.

hunter loves luz. she is his sister and always will be. but while he’s stuck to belos because of his duties as golden guard, she sees how green the grass is on the other side and doesn’t even hesitate to hop over there. watching her slowly grow more and more distant while she keeps sneaking out to visit with her new friends (eda, king, willow, gus, amity, etc.) is one of the most painful things hunter has had to deal with.

he feels betrayed at first, as if luz is replacing him with other people who arent broken like he is, and when luz actually leaves for good- belos lies to the public and says she was kidnapped- hunter is the one who leads the hunt to find her and bring her back home safely. when they confront each other, luz tries to do her whole dramatic speech about how wrong belos is and how he’s been lying their whole lives, but hunter already knows. the only reason he stayed was for luz, but she couldnt even stay from him? it fuckin hurts man.

they end up on opposite sides for a minute. hunter gains no satisfaction from trying to ruin this new life she’s found for herself but goddamnit, he has a job to do. he cant just defect. and then he defects after watching belos try to kill luz because she’s let herself become corrupted by the witches.

thats about all my brain got for this so far. TL;DR basically just listen to the “first time in forever” and “mother knows best reprise” and “broken crown” by mumford & sons and thats pretty much the gist of it.

[sourholland]

based off of taylor swift’s song style

a/n → well i bet some people didn’t expect this story to be updated again, however here i am and here it is. this is chapter 4. what mostly inspired me to try and finish this series is the continuous love i have received through it. there were a lot of people who told me how much they enjoy it and who am i to deny them. however i know that it’s been a year since i’ve updated this so if you want off of the taglist because of disinterest, please let me know!!! same goes for wanting to be on the taglist, just lmk 🩵

summary → he’s the quarterback of the cincinnati bengals, a worldwide heartthrob with an ego the size of lake erie—but does he have the heart to match it? you’re the bengals newest cheerleader, desperate to prove how much you deserve your spot on the team. it doesn’t take much to catch the eye of joe burrow, however that isn’t necessarily a good thing when you’re told that any romantic relations between cheerleaders and players is strictly prohibited.

warnings → strong language, nsfw content

word count → 3.4k

reblog and leave some comments if you enjoy!!!

SERIES MASTERLIST

Chapter 4

“He’s fucking obsessed with you,” Sydney reasoned with you, listening to you finally debrief everything that had gone on between you and Joe over the last few weeks. “If you seriously start with all of this self-sabotage bullshit, I’m gonna kill you.”

Lena sat criss cross on the floor, silent and turning over the information you had given her carefully. Sydney was sitting on the couch beside you, knees pulled up to her chest as she spooned more ice cream into her mouth. It had been days since you slept over at Joe’s and besides a few text conversations and fleeting glances at the stadium, nothing more had happened between the two of you.

“She’s right,” Lena finally chimed in, her mass of curls held up in a claw clip she’d stolen from you during freshman year. “He’s obsessed.”

With a roll of your eyes, you turned over dramatically and buried your face into the throw pillow on your couch and screamed into it. If he was so obsessed, why hadn’t he called? Maybe because you completely overreacted after seeing one text on his phone like a psycho bitch, you thought to yourself begrudgingly. He probably thought you were crazy and territorial over guys you weren’t even with.

“I think I ruined it when I left the bar,” you sighed, considering screaming into the pillow again like a child.

“Oh my god, shut up. Men are so simple and literally do not care about stuff like that, I’m telling you. If he told you he let it go, he let it go. There’s no reason to overthink it,” Sydney assured you with a half-full mouth of chocolate ice cream. “Do you remember when I was fucking with Josh sophomore year and found out he was still hooking up with that one girl on the lacrosse team? Lily or whatever the fuck her name was–whatever, not the point–but do you remember when I deadass asked the front desk of our dorm building for a pair of scissors and walked a mile to where his car was parked and slashed three of his tires. Yeah, well he still hits me up. Men do not give a fuck.”

Lena had begun clutching her stomach in fits of laughter, rolling onto her back and shaking her head with tears prickling the corners of her eyes. You clapped a hand over your mouth, kicking Sydney and recalling how feral the three of you had been during your freshman and sophomore year. Moments like these made you wish the three of you were already living together again, as you had the prior three years. Well, Sydney shared a suite with you and Lena sophomore year and the three of you got an apartment junior year. After you told your parents that you planned to stay in Cincinnati after graduation, they knew you would need a place and gave you your graduation present early–a down payment on an apartment and your first month's rent. 

Cheering with the Bengals and substitute teaching on the side allowed you to save a little, but most of your money went towards bills. Lena and Sydney were planning to move in and split the cost three ways as soon as your prior lease was up. They had agreed to take on your portion of rent when you moved out of your previous apartment two months ago, knowing they wouldn’t have to put any money away for the down payment when they did move in with you. They still had about three weeks left until the lease was up, but you had all spent weeks packing up the other apartment slowly but surely. There were enough rooms for each of you to get your own, one was just significantly smaller than the other two. Lena had volunteered to take the space immediately, claiming she didn’t mind the lack of closet space or squeaky door.

Lena never had it in her to mind anything like that, she always just brushed it off and said it didn’t bother her one bit. She told you she was just excited to live with her two sisters, making you cry on the spot and tell her how much you appreciated her. Sydney would have taken the small room, she just wouldn’t have been happy about it and somehow both you and Lena knew she would find closet space one way or another. 

“I can’t wait for Joe Burrow to be sitting in my kitchen,” said Lena, letting Sydney spoon ice cream into her mouth now. “Or what about when you guys are fucking–”

“Lena!” You took the pillow you had been yelling into and pressed it into your flaming cheeks.

“Okay wait, answer honestly and don’t be modest. How big?” she swallowed, clasping her hands together in front of her, ready to inch them apart. “Tell me when to stop.”

“You’re both insufferable!” 

Lena, however, only continued to move her hands apart from each other with wide eyes when you still hadn’t said to stop. She hit the solid length, you nearly wheezed the word out with tears freely streaming down your face as all three of you clutched your abdomens in hysterics and girlish giggles.

“Do you need a third or what?” Sydney joked, already having pulled Joe’s Instagram up to stalk for the millionth time.

“Obviously,” you gave her a playful once over and winked, sending the three of you into fits of laughter again. 

⋆------------⋆

Practices leading up to the next preseason game against the Giants were brutal. Coaches were through with putting up with excuses and mistakes, leaving most of you on the team crying by the end of the night. When they wanted you to suffer, you suffered. Some of the senior girls who had been cheering with the team for a few years tried their best to ease the anxieties of the less-veteraned girls.

Everything hurt, all the time. Your back and legs mostly, but the soreness in your thighs and glutes made even warmups painful.

“Y/N!” Coach Traci’s voice bellowed. “What are you doing with your arms? How many times have I told you that if you can’t get this, I’m moving you back for our sideline dance sequences so you’re less visible?”

“Multiple times,” your voice came out as a little more than an embarrassed squeak. “I’m sorry, Coach.”

“Don’t be sorry, be better.”

You had to get your mind straight, shaking off the criticism and putting everything into the next time you ran the dance. Coach Traci nodded at you, the only acknowledgement of improvement that you would get for tonight. After the shitshow that was the Cardinals game, you knew better than to balk or disrespect anyone during practices. Everyone was strung out and tired, it was during a water break when you realized Joe was perched in his usual spot, headphones around his neck and running through some easy sprints. 

Good fucking god, had he heard your scolding? The thought brought you back to high school, the feeling of getting a question blatantly wrong in front of your crush or being reprimanded in front of the class for talking too loudly during a lesson. That same flutter of uneasiness left you feeling uncomfortable within your own skin, distracted again but pushing the thoughts aside in order not to repeat the whole embarrassing ordeal.

Joe was doing his absolute best job of casually sitting in on as many cheer practices as possible. The last thing he wanted was to cause trouble for either of you, but he would have been lying if he said he wasn’t using the fact that he is who he is to do his workouts wherever he wanted around the facility without a second glance from anyone. There were very few people meandering around, telling Joe what to do. With his injury, he was just now getting back into light conditioning and drill work so it wasn’t out of the ordinary for him to remain at the stadium to workout after practice had ended. He was watching from the sidelines most practices, occasionally being able to do a few workouts and passing the football around while everyone ran plays. 

He would take advantage of the opportunity to watch you while it was the most inconspicuous.

Practice unsurprisingly went late. Joe had disappeared back inside at some point, to finally go home you assumed. Once you were heaving and your body felt like pure jelly, you were finally allowed to go and grab your things and head in to shower. There were two text messages from Joe, delivered fifteen minutes prior.

Joe: Text me when you’re done

Joe: Actually do you wanna do what you gotta do and meet me in our locker room??

This boy is genuinely idiotic if he thinks you’re just waltzing into the team locker room, facility still far from emptied out. You ignored the messages until you got into your own locker room, sitting on a bench and shaking your head at his idea once again. Joe had absolutely nothing to lose here, that much was obvious from the start. You were a completely different story, though.

Y/N: Joe omg

Y/N: There are cameras everywhereeeeeeeee

Y/N: Can you just call me later?

Joe: No

Joe: Just go around the long way, don’t take the hall Emily’s office is on and come around from the other side. 

When you didn’t respond right away, he texted again.

Joe: The security camera isn’t facing the door, it’s facing who comes down that main hallway

Joe: I swear no one is gonna see you, the cameras will literally only get you taking a different hallway to walk out of the building and we can leave out of different doors

Y/N: You’re actually insane

Y/N: How do you even know what ways the camera faces???

Joe: I just walked out of the locker room and looked

Joe: I basically walked the whole thing, everyone went home 

Joe: Obviously not your team but yk what I mean, your coaches office is on the complete other side of the building 

Y/N: Go home, Joe :)

Joe: Please

Your thumbs hovered over the letters ‘N’ and ‘O’, but there was a part of you that couldn’t deny how excited the idea of seeing him again made you. The sneaking around had your gut twisting in a way that had all of your rational thoughts going right out the door. You’re pathetic, you told yourself as you glanced over your shoulder to make sure no one watched you type your next message.

Y/N: You need to see me so bad that you’re saying please?

Joe: Desperately

Y/N: Oh you’re good lmao

Joe: So I’ll see you in fifteen

Liking the message, you put your head in your hands for a moment and huffed a laugh as you finally turned on the shower and stripped yourself of the now sweaty practice clothes. Most of the girls showered at home after night practices, so only a few remained readying to leave. You took your time, double shampooing and ensuring as many people as possible had departed from the practice facility. 

“Good night, girl!” Carolina called out, walking out the door and leaving only you.

“Night, Carol!”

With shaky breaths, you brushed your wet hair once again and looked into the mirror. You had no makeup on and wore shorts and a Bengals hoodie now, which did nothing for your confidence as you walked out of the locker room with your bag in hand and cast your eyes downward. In your attempts to look unsuspicious, you took the long back hallway that wrapped around the inside of the stadium. There was the muffled sound of the janitors' speakers, but they were far from where you were and each office and support center looked desolate and left for the night.

The door to the players’ locker room was slightly ajar, leaving you to glance around again and double check Joe’s camera assessment. He was right, there was a camera on the end of the hallway, but it faced the opposite direction and caught whoever took the main entrance inside of this part of the building. Quickly, you slipped into the much nicer locker room and shut the door behind you. 

“That was twenty-five minutes,” Joe’s voice sounded from behind you.

“This is a stupid idea,” you cast him a playfully annoyed glance and locked the door behind you, turning to find him in shorts and a black T-shirt. “You’re a really bad influence, you know that?”

“So I’ve been told,” he walked towards you with such ease that you wouldn’t have believed he was just bed-ridden from surgery. His fingers found the hem of your hoodie, smirking down at you in his usual arrogantly charming manner. “I’m still glad you came, though. Even if I compromise your moral judgment so badly.”

He is so fucking hot, you thought as he continued fiddling with your sweatshirt. How is it possible to have this much sex appeal? How is it humanly possible for anyone to resist a look like his? Your entire body was on fire, swallowing hard and wondering once again how you wound up here with him.

“I can’t stop thinking about you,” he confessed. “I know I keep saying that and you’re probably sick of it. It’s true, though.”

The pads of his thumb and index finger brushed your bare torso, the circular motion leaving you breathing a bit heavier. His touch was less feverish than usual, more gentle and fleeting like he wanted you to know how much he wanted you. Hardly blinking, you let the tense silence guide you towards him in a way that left you practically flush against each other. Joe’s breathing hitched, giving you those sultry bedroom eyes and stupid smirk.

This time it was you who could no longer resist, kissing him softly as if to say that you, too, could not stop thinking of him. He slid his arms around your lower back, allowing you to wrap yours around his neck. Your back arched slightly at the long kiss, his right hand lowering to grab your ass and squeeze. He somehow maneuvered the two of you farther into the locker room between open-mouth, breathy kisses. Your back collided with the wall to the right of the sequence of open lockers, his mouth on your neck and biting gently at the skin of your collarbone. 

He pulled your hoodie off, throwing it somewhere behind him. Your fingers found his hair, tugging as he marked your chest up ravenously. A problem for later, you pushed the thought away and let your head roll to the side as he palmed both of your breasts through the fabric of your sports bra, occasionally leaving a hum of pleasure against the soft skin between your breasts. He kissed down your stomach and held you roughly by one hip, sinking to his knees looking up at you asking permission. 

“Did you know this was going to happen when you texted me?” You teased, still holding onto him by his hair. 

“When I texted you,” he started, letting out a breathy chuckle. “I prayed to god that this would happen, but I figured you were gonna tell me to fuck off.”

With a playful shove of his head, you looked away with blazing skin and blown pupils. Joe pulled down your shorts in one quick motion, running his hands down your hips and thighs with a lustful expression. He kissed you over the fabric of your underwear, fingers digging into the flesh of your ass. There was no denying the arousal dripping from you, wetting your panties, leaving Joe to raise an eyebrow and flash you an egotistical grin. A breathy moan escaped you and he stopped, causing a near-whimper to come from you.

“Quiet, baby,” he chided softly, “I need you to be quiet or we’re both fucked.”

The fact that he had called you baby was something to dissect tomorrow, you only inhaled sharply at his words. He looked up at you again with hair falling over his forehead, “can you be quiet for me?”

If he kept looking at you like that, you would do just about anything for him. You gave him a nod and he kneaded the flesh of your thigh now, finally pulling your underwear down and discarding them carelessly. He wrapped your right leg around his shoulder, on his knees before you.

“Can’t say that I’m complaining at this sight, right where you belong,” you whispered, cheekily.

“You’re hilarious,” he rolled his eyes and pinched your backside. “I’m on my knees for you anytime, just say the word.”

He didn’t give you even a second to respond, tonguing you with such desperation that your toes curled the second he put his mouth on you. Your slick had already coated his mouth and chin, his tongue running between your folds as his nose brushed the bundle of nerves. You struggled to keep quiet, eyes squeezing shut as you rocked your hips into his mouth and relished in each breathy moan that escaped him and reverberated against your center. 

His thumb went to your clit, rubbing feverishly at the bud and watching you turn to putty in his hands. Your legs began to shake violently, wondering how much longer you could stand the tight coiling in your belly. One of your hands remained in his hair, the other gripped the hard wall for any semblance of steadying as he devoured you. 

He grunted against you, picking up his pace and letting his hands explore as you bit back each and every sound you wished to make. He steadied you as you came undone, panting and unable to move or see. Stars clouded your vision, black spots causing you to close your eyes and breathe for a moment as you regained feeling of your body again.

The handle of the door shook, someone was trying to get in.

“Fuck,” you whispered at Joe, who was already carefully dropping your leg and reaching back to grab your shorts and hoodie. 

You slid the shorts on, throwing the hoodie over your head and letting Joe silently lead you farther back into the locker room where the showers were. He gave you a look that said to sit tight and make no noise. He didn’t look nearly as nervous as you, legs still gelatin and causing you to have to lean back against the wall to ensure your balance.

“Anyone in there?” A man’s voice sounded, muffled slightly from the distance now between you and the door. 

“Yeah!” Joe called out as casually as possible, he sauntered over to the door and flicked the lock and opened it. A janitor stood before him, cart beside him to clean. “Hey, Phil. I stayed late tonight, I don’t know why I locked the door. Must’ve been a reflex.”

Phil nodded slowly, he looked into the locker room and saw it all emptied out. Joe rubbed the back of his neck, swallowing and waiting for the man to say something. Phil only coughed and averted his eyes when he saw the lilac underwear balled up on the floor. He met Joe’s eyes and muttered that he’d come back around once he left, but not to be more than ten more minutes. Joe gave him a gracious thanks and sighed in relief as the man retreated down the hallway and brought his cart into another room, shutting the door behind him and turning his radio up considerably louder than he’d ever heard him play it.

“You can come out now,” he said, turning around and seeing the panties on the ground. He had no clue if Phil had seen them, but he also had no doubt that Phil was no busybody or gossip at his ripe age of at least seventy. 

“Do I get to keep these?” He asked as you came out from the showers, holding them up and smirking.

“Did I or did I not say that this was a stupid idea?” 

“Is that a yes or a no?”

once again, let me know to be taken off of or added to the taglist

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[simplykorra]

I think it's easy to forget just exactly what Ava went through. She was SEVEN years old and woke up in strange place, with cranky old nuns, only to find out she was paralyzed and that her mom had died. Not only that, but no other member of her family ever came for her. Nobody was looking for her, nobody wanted her and suddenly she's all alone and dealing with the loss of her mothre and her independence.

You'd think, oh well maybe she has a support system in the orphanage? Nope, they treat her like shit, like the burden she believes she is. As someone who has been in a wheelchair their whole life, let me tell you, feeling like a burden is an everyday thing. You’re not, and having people who remind you that you’re not and make you understand that you’re not is beautiful, but Ava didn’t have that. She had Sister Frances, who went out of her way to tell Ava she was worthless and I doubt anyone else there was much better.

So it's no wonder Ava was a sarcastic, snarky little shit to the nuns in the orphanage - they made her that way. Being bratty to them was the only thing she could do to feel some semblance of control.

Flash forward to Ava's death, where she was literally murdered because nobody cared and there was nowhere for her to go. Ava spent twelve years in a personal hell of being trapped in her own body, was then killed like someone taking out the garbage. Empty, alone and tossed aside.

So when she was revived by the halo, with her legs suddenly working and freedom to do whatever she wanted, of COURSE she wanted to be free.

That's the entirety of Ava's character arc - SHE WANTS TO LIVE! She hasn't been able to for so long she barely remembers how to do it.

It's not that easy, of course, the halo carries a ton of weight and Ava fights it and runs from it and resists it as much as she can, and who can blame her? She finally gets the chance to be alive, to be free and enjoy life and all these strangers (who are everywhere becuase Ava is completely alone in the world) are pushing and pulling her in every direction. She's constantly told that she doesn't deserve the halo. Doesn't deserve this chance.

Despite ALL of that, Ava's heart is strong and her passion for life overshadows all the darkness she's been dealt. She isn't just full of life, but love. She's spent years not having anyone to love her, but more than that, she's never been able to give anyone her love and I think that's very important to her. We see it so much as the show goes on. Her softness with Mother Superion when she finds her halo scar, and the way she connects with Mary, Camila being sweet to her, little things like that.

Then of course there's Bea.

Beatrice, who never sees Ava as someone that needs to be replaced, but as someone who can be taught, trained and shaped into what they need. Who sees that Ava, the human being, has value and that she's worth protecting. They connect and share and for the first time, Ava has someone who actually accepts her as a person. Not a burden or a vessel for the halo, but Ava Silva, the girl inside that's been so alone for so long.

I think that's why Ava is so bouncy with Bea, falls for her so easily, because Beatrice saw Ava's zest for life and her need for love and embraced it. Saw it as something worth fighting for, beyond the halo or duty, Beatrice liked HER. Probably the first person who felt that way since her mother was taken from her (outside of Diego, but he was so young it couldn't have been the same).

Anyway, this long winded post that probably doesn't make any sense is just my way of saying that I love Ava. I love her joy and her humor. I love that she has had so much pain dumped on her and still chooses to smile. Given the way she was treated and the power she was given, Ava could have been a villain. She could have carried a hatred for god or the world and everyone in it who forgot about her but she didn't. Instead, she found the life and love she desperately wanted and gave up everything to protect it.

[starmistz]

HxH - Dodgeball Scene

Note: This isn't really an analysis but more of a rant, hence it being messy, haha .. (^^ ;) Everything is based on my own opinion too, so I don't guarantee it would satisfy everyone. But anyway, enjoy ur read! :3

(Chapter 166, episode 70.)

If someone asks me which HxH scene is the most misunderstood one, I would say it's this:

I've seen almost EVERYONE in this fandom say that this scene was very "selfish" and "insensitive" of Gon. But dude, c'mon. Do you really think Gon wouldn't give a flying fuck about Killua getting hurt just for his own benefit? He isn't that type of friend. In fact, he literally hates it when Killua willingly hurts himself, like he gets so mad and bothered.

Take this scene for example:

But what piqued my interest was how he still kept this moment in mind after a bunch of chapters later:

It shows how he still didn't forget about that situation, and thought about this self-destructive trait of Killua carefully. Pretty ironic for getting mad at Killua for being like this when Gon himself is also self-destructive, haha. It's like it's indicating that Gon knows how it feels like being self-destructive, so he's trying to stop Killua from feeling that aswell. Keep that in mind though, I'll be talking about it later on. :3

In the mean time, I think it's important to look carefully on to details even if it's tiny. I noticed a few things about this panel too:

Only Gon is drawn with a 💢, and he's also doing a ❌️ finger sign (it's so funny.) I get it probably doesn't have any deeper meaning but the fact that it's like that shows how much he dislikes it if u ask me. 😭😭 I mean, bisky just looks disappointed, not mad. Why not add a 💢 on her too? That's 'cause she's not THAT bothered by it, and it's implying the difference of how they take this trait. And well, Gon takes it SERIOUSLY. So point is, he's not insensitive when it comes to Killua intentionally hurting himself as we see him clearly despising it.

Anyway, remember how I told u to keep that one thing in mind? Yeah, Gon knowing how it feels like being self-destructive and all. We all know that the reason he does this is because he feels weak, and so he has this need to prove himself strong and useful to feel better, right? Well.. I feel like as time goes by, Gon thinks that Killua is also doing this because of the same reason. He notices how far Killua goes just to prove himself worthy too. So when he voluntarily decides to take painful hits in the dodgeball game, Gon encourages it instead. He knows how it feels to be seen as weak, not useful, and not needed. Taking risks for something, but people don't encourage that. They just tell you to stop, not knowing that it would just make you feel even more useless, making you feel like you did all of that for nothing because it was never enough. Gon is aware of that, so he does the opposite to Killua. Don't you guys get it? If he told Killua to just stop, Killua would feel unworthy and not good enough. He's going out of his way to help Gon, he free-willingly decides to take those hits. If Gon told him to stop, it would feel like rejection–that Gon didn't appreciate all that effort, and is techincally telling Killua that his help meant nothing. You can see how Killua was so desperate, he was so pushy with the "I can take one more hit!!! Gon, let me do it!!" and now imagine if Gon said no💀 That would be rejecting his help/an act out of love (platonic or romantic idc.) THAT would be the one that's ACTUALLY insensitive to Killua.

So Gon shows appreciation and encouragement instead, letting Killua's effort not be in vain. Saying stuff like how he NEEDS Killua to be the one that holds the ball for him, how he can't focus if it's not Killua–he needs Killua's help and Killua himself. All of that, is definitely what Killua needed to know too. It literally made him smile and felt more upbeat after, how could people say it was insensitive and would hurt Killua's feelings? 😭 He's happy to know that Gon does care about his efforts for him after all. ᵔᴗᵔ ♡

One thing I'd like to say though is that; That was still unhealthy for both of them. They think self-destructing is the only way they'll feel loved. 🙁 Of course I agree that it was most definitely bad, and it's not a good thing that Gon just fueled up Killua's self-destructive tendencies even more..😭🙏 BUT the point here is that, it wasn't insensitive and selfish of Gon in that moment, okay!?!? They both saw it in a positive light, even though.. it was definitely bad... but uhm anyways yeah, everyone should stop being so upset with this scene. You all are misunderstanding it and it's painful. 😔

But hooray thanks for listening!

[multifandomsw]

Apologies 7

Harry Styles x Reader

summary: After an encounter with your old best friend, she gave you her number to catch up. When you decide to send her a message, someone else replies. Was it destiny?

warnings: angst, fluff

author’s note: It’s been a while, hasn’t it? I’m so happy to be back! I wrote this within a few hours. It was quite hard to write, but I hope you’ll enjoy this! I feel like you’ll either like it or hate it…especially the end

Part 7

Harry took yet another look at his phone and sighed when he saw that half an hour had already passed.

Lucy was late again.

Normally Harry wouldn’t truly care about that fact. He’d just pull out his phone and look at some instagram stories.

This time though, he needed to talk to Lucy. Desperately needed to talk to Lucy.

Because of you.

God, he couldn’t take you off of his mind. He hadn’t been able to take you off of his mind ever since he got to know you, but now it was worse.

The thought of you was the only thing that consumed his mind.

Every time he closed his eyes, he saw your face in front of him. And every time he saw it, he was reminded that you were truly the most beautiful person he had ever laid his eyes on. And he was sure that no matter how many more new people he would see during his life, it would stay this way.

After feeling your warm touch on his skin yesterday, Harry wasn’t sure if he could continue living without it. He craved feeling you this close to him again.

“Harry.”, someone interrupted and when he looked up and saw Lucy, Harry felt relieved. Because as much as he loved thinking about you, he was going insane.

“Hi.”, he breathed out and took her in. She still wore the same outfit she had worn yesterday, her make-up was smudged and her hair was a mess. Nevertheless, Lucy wore a smile on her face.

“I’m sorry I’m late. Oskar wouldn’t let me go.”, she giggled and sat down on the seat opposite from Harry.

Harry only raised his eyebrows. “Oskar, huh?”

Lucy blushed. “He’s actually really nice. He even made some breakfast.”, Lucy giggled and took a sip from the coffee Harry had ordered. “Ew, it’s cold.”

Harry only rolled his eyes. “Because you’re late.”, he sighed. “Have you checked on her? Is she fine?”, he needed to know.

Lucy simply sighed. “She is. She only has a headache.”, she began, but hesitated before continuing. “What?”, Harry furrowed his eyebrows.

“She doesn’t remember anything from yesterday. She thinks it was a dream.”, Lucy admitted.

Honestly, Harry didn’t know if he should feel relieved or disappointed. He was glad that you didn’t find out yet, glad that he could just be himself for a little while longer. But after yesterday, he realized that texting you was not enough for him. He wanted to see your radiant smile every day, he wanted to hear your voice every day, wanted to fall asleep with you in his arms every day.

“Oh.”, he whispered defeatedly.

“Harry-“, Lucy started, but Harry interrupted her quickly. “You said she went to the club to forget about her troubles, right? What’s troubling her? She barely tells me stuff like that anymore and I- I feel like she doesn’t want to talk to me anymore, but then yesterday she told me she liked me and I-“, his voice cracked. “I just don’t know what to think anymore.”, he continued in a whisper.

“She hated the attention she’s getting, Harry. You know that the interaction you had with her in Munich is all over the internet. It went even that far that a fan of yours approached her when we were in a café. And-“, Lucy began, but stopped talking, debating whether she should even tell Harry about that.

“And what, Lucy?”, he desperately wanted to know.

“I don’t know if you know everything about what happened with her old best friend at your concert.”, she began and Harry shook her head. “No, not everything.”

“Well- her old best friend approached her with her boyfriend and told her that no one would ever like her and that you only talked to her because you pitied her-“

Harry’s heart quite literally stopped. “What the fuck? She doesn’t believe that, does she?”

“She kind of does.”, Lucy sighed. “But Harry, she told me that she liked you. It’s obvious how much.”

“She likes H.”, he reminded Lucy and seeing the sad look in his eyes hurt Lucy too.

“But that’s you, that’s the real you. Don’t you see? You like each other. It’s time to tell her the truth, Harry. Better now than too late.”, Lucy argued, but stopped when she saw one tear rolling down Harry’s cheek.

It felt like someone was stabbing a knife into Harry’s heart, slowly and painfully. Guilt washed over his whole body because he realized that he was the reason for your troubles. His concert was the reason for all your troubles. He was so focused on blaming himself, that he forgot to acknowledge the fact that you said that you liked him. You liked him.

Harry desperately tried wiping his tears away, but they just wouldn’t stop flowing out of his eyes. “I’m sorry.”, he managed to get out and Lucy knew it was not directed to her.

“H.”, Lucy tried to console him and he was almost disgusted when she said it. After you had called him H yesterday, he decided that he didn’t want anyone else calling him H ever again. It only sounded right when you had said it. “Harry.”, Lucy tried again and that’s when Harry stopped trying to wipe the tears away.

They were falling freely now.

“What’s wrong, Harry?”, she sincerely wanted to know.

Harry gulped hard. “It’s my fault. Everything’s my fault. It all happened during my concert. She’s struggling because of me.”, his voice cracked at the end.

“No, no. You’re not going to blame yourself now.”, Lucy instructed. “It was not your fault and you know it. You know what she told me? That she’s a thousand times happier ever since she got to know you. You gave her hope. You managed to make her believe that she might actually be good enough.”

Harry’s eyes widened. “She said that?”

“Yes! Harry, she truly likes you. I know I shouldn’t get involved, but you should tell her who you are eventually. She’s happy and Harry, you are happy too. As far as I’m concerned, you’ve never liked someone as much as you like her. She’s the only person you talk about lately.”

Of course Lucy was right. She always was. And somehow, Lucy had managed to give Harry a bit of hope back. “Do you think you could convince her to go to one of my Wembley shows? It would mean the world to me.”

-

His eyes were piercing green. They reminded you of a forest in summer, of springtime grass. His eyes reminded you of life.

They were so breathtakingly beautiful that you didn't look away from them even when he said your name so softly.

But as much as you loved his eyes, your eyes trailed down to his soft and full rosy lips. Only one thought consumed your whole mind: what would it be like to just lean in and kiss him?

You imagined the soft feeling of his lips moving against yours. You thought of how they would taste, like sweet honey, like a summer night, like him.

You whispered his name back just as softly and dragged your eyes back to his. You noticed that his pupils were dilated and wondered for a second if yours were too.

He placed his hand against your cheek, slowly caressing it with his thumb as he stepped closer to you.

He was so close now that you could feel his breath softly tickle your skin and you knew if you looked down, his lips would only be centimeters away from yours.

"Can I kiss you?", he asked, leaning closer but never closing the gap. Not before you would give him permission, you figured.

You parted your lips, letting out a shaky breath."Yes.", you managed to answer and he wasted no time as he leaned closer to you-

Before he pulled back and let out an evil chuckle.

”Green eyes can't be trusted.", he smirked and let go of you.

-

Lucy practically stormed into your room and woke you up in the process. “You won’t believe what happened.”, she let out excitedly and you simply groaned.

You groaned because she had woken you up and because you had dreamed about him again.

Again, because you had dreamt about H yesterday, too.

“Leave me alone.”, you grumbled and closed your eyes again, but Lucy didn’t care. “I won tickets for one of Harry’s Wembley shows.”, she let out excitedly and it took a moment for you to process this information.

“What?”, you sat up and looked at her in disbelief. “And they’re VIP tickets, too!”

“That’s- that’s great. I’m happy for you.”

“You’ll come with me.”, she decided and your eyes widened. “No, no.”, you whispered. “Lucy, you know what happened during my last concert.”

She quietly said your name. “We have VIP tickets, which means there are no fans nearby. No one can disturb you.”

“But they can still take pictures of me and start speculations.”, you argued, crossing your arms.

“And? It’s fucking Harry Styles, who cares if the world thinks you’re dating. They’re just jealous.”

“Lucy.”, you started, sighing. “You know I-“

“Please.”, she practically begged you. “I don’t want to go alone, I won’t go alone. And I have no one else to go with.”

The tickets would go to waste if you didn’t go with Lucy. And as much as you hated the idea of going, you decided that you should slowly overcome your doubts and fear. “Okay?”, you answered unsure.

“Okay?”

“Okay.”, you whispered and hid your face in the T-shirt you were wearing. Lucy had told you that it was hers and that she had helped you change when you came home from the club. You believed her of course, but the shirt didn’t smell like Lucy at all. It smelled like a forest in spring after it had just rained, like fresh flowers and grass.

It smelled like home.

-

You and H had never stopped texting each other, but you had stopped talking to him about some things.

Not intentionally, no, but you slowly started to believe that H was getting tired of you too.

Which was anything but true. When you told H about it, he was determined to show you how much he truly cared for you.

H: Listen to “All I Want” by Kodaline.

You: Oh?

H: It reminds me of you

You: Stop it you know I’m blushing

H: I just want to show you how much I care about you

You: I might care about you too

H: Oh, you might?

You: Well, you could still be old

H: I hate you

You: You know you love me

H: Yeah I do

H: Do you know what you’ll wear to the concert tomorrow?

You: Just something simple. Probably a cute top and some oversized pants

H: I really want you to go, but are you 100% sure that you’ll be okay?

You: I think I’ll be

H: You think?

You: No, I know. He’s one of my favorite singers and I’m really excited about the concert now that I’m thinking about it

You: Who cares if people think we’re dating? I mean who wouldn’t want to date Harry Styles?

H: I’m glad

H: You’d make a great couple

You: Oh shut up

-

"Uhm-, Harry began, but looked down at his hands to think about his next words very carefully. It was Jeff after all and Jeff hated spontaneous decisions. He was likely going to tell Harry how he would regret it and how impulsive he had been, but deep down, Harry knew he wouldn't regret it, would never regret it.

"How have you been?", Harry changed the question quickly and Jeff only raised his eyebrows.

"We saw each other yesterday."

Harry bit his lip in order not to let out a laugh. It was stupid to be afraid to tell him, but Harry cared about Jeff's opinions.

"Just say whatever you want to say, it can't be that bad.", Jeff nudged Harry's arm and now

Harry truly let out a laugh.

"It might be that bad.", Harry chuckled. "Okay, but you can't say that it was an impulsive decision before hearing me out."

Jeff scrunched his face in confusion. "Did you get nipple piercings?"

"What?"

"Please tell me you didn't get a genital piercing.”Jeff looked Harry deep into his eyes, concern written all over his face.

Harry could only let ihr a hysterical laugh. "You're absolutely crazy, of course I didn't get a genital piercing!"

Jeff let out a breath of relief. "You scared me for a second, boy"

Harry could only roll his eyes in response. "Okay. I got a new tattoo."

"You always get new tattoos, it's nothing new."

"Okay, but this one might be.", Harry let out and just shrugged his shoulders. "I'm just going to show you.", he said while taking his shirt off.

Jeff's eyes searched for the tattoo for a second, but his eyes widened when he saw the new tattoo on his collar bone.

"Please tell me this is a joke."

"Nope."

"Are you out of your mind?", he asked as he stared at the Cherry tattoo on his chest. Spelled out.

"See, I knew you were gonna react like this."

"She doesn't even know who you are!", Jeff argued. "This will last forever Harry. You're not even-“, Jeff interrupted himself before he took a deep breath.

“I’ve never felt that way about someone before.”, Harry admitted with a small smile on his face and when Jeff looked in his eyes he saw not an ounce of doubt.

Jeff sighed. “When will you tell her?”

Harry’s smile instantly dropped. “Soon.”

“This won’t end well if you fail to tell her the truth Harry.”

“I know.”, he whispered back. “I want to tell her, I just don’t know how.”

“She’ll be here today, right?”, Jeff questioned. “Yes.”

“Then tell her today.”

“No, no, I couldn’t.”, Harry stammered.

Jeff only gave him a stern look. “You should do it, and you know it. Now go change into your outfit.”

-

To say you were late was an understatement. Lucy’s car had broken down in the middle of the road. You had even suggested to just go back home, but Lucy had insisted on taking a taxi to the concert after you had waited over an hour for someone to take Lucy’s car away.

When you entered the VIP tent, Harry Styles was already singing Sign of the Times and you realized that you had missed almost all of the songs.

Still, when you saw him on the stage, you were once again absolutely mesmerized. He looked gorgeous. From the rosy cheeks, to his full lips and sparkling eyes. You could see his dimples when he smiled at a fan and almost lost it.

Hearing Sign of the Times live for the very first time was probably one of the most beautiful things you had ever experienced. Sometimes you forgot how good Harry Styles could truly sing.

“I’m sorry that we arrived so late.”, Lucy apologized and pulled you out of your trance. “Nonsense. We’re here now.”, you looked around the tent, not seeing anyone familiar until your eyes landed on Anne and Gemma not far away from you. Anne was waving at Harry and Gemma was swaying from side to side.

They were standing so closely to you, you could just take a few steps towards them and talk to them.

Which you, of course, wouldn’t do. But you could.

-

“She’s not coming, is she?”, Harry whispered to himself after Sign of the Times ended. He had long given the hope up and it hurt him to look into the direction of the VIP tent and not see you standing there, beaming up at him.

Still, he couldn’t help himself and spared the VIP tent one last glance and caught-

Your eyes.

He just stared at you for a few seconds. At your toothy smile, at your adorable hairstyle, at your rosy cheeks. He had only seen you a few days ago, but still: his heart quite literally stilled in his chest.

He didn’t think you would show up.

Harry let out a chuckle and ducked his head for a second, trying not to get too distracted. “Hi.”, he mouthed and blew you a small kiss.

He knew he shouldn’t talk to you. Not after all the hate you got after the last concert. Still, it pained him not being able to talk to you.

Seeing the blush form on your cheeks, though, was more than enough to satisfy him.

“I think we all feel a little unloved sometimes.”, Harry began addressing the crowd. “Some more than others. I’m sure that every single one of you has thought about not being good enough at least once in your lives. Including me. You probably have felt unloved, unwanted and left out on more than one occasion.”, Harry began and the crowd roared.

“I know this girl.”, Harry began and one girl in the crowd made an ‘uhhh’ sound.

Harry chuckled, those beautiful dimples of his showing. He spared you a glance and saw that you were listening intensely. “And this girl thinks all of these things every single day. Over and over again.”

“And you know what? She’s none of these things. She is loved, she is wanted, she is more than fucking good enough. She’s everything.”, Harry had to fight every urge not to look at you right now, because he was sure he would beging to cry instantly.

“She doesn’t know that yet. I hope she’ll know this and realize this one day. She doesn’t even know that I’m talking about her right now. But I want her to know that I’ll always wait for her. Until the end of the time. This song I wrote reminds me quite a lot of her. This is Little Freak.”, Harry ended his speech and began singing.

You never saw my birthmark.

Harry knew, with every fiber in his being, that all of his following songs would be about you. Every single song he had begun writing since he had known you was about you.

-

“This song wasn’t on the set list! It’s one of my favorites.”, you told Lucy who was grinning at you. “It sure is. Do you know how many-“, Lucy stopped talking suddenly and you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion before you turned around and saw someone approaching you-

Anne and Gemma were approaching you.

“What?”, you whispered to yourself when Gemma hugged Lucy. “I’m glad you could make it!”, Gemma grinned and stepped back so that Anne could give Lucy a hug.

How did she know them? Did they confuse Lucy with someone else? “I heard your car broke down.”, Anne said worriedly and now you were sure that they weren’t confusing her for someone else.

“Yes, but we just took the taxi.”, Lucy answered and introduced Anne and Gemma to you. Anne went to hug you quickly and grinned at you. “It’s so nice to finally meet you, I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“You have?”, you questioned. “Uh- yes, Lucy told us quite a bit.”

“How do you-“, you began, your mind still not comprehending that you were talking to Anne and Gemma. “How do you know each other?”

Lucy bit her lip. “Anne is my mom’s best friend.”, Lucy explained. You couldn’t believe it. Why had she never told you about that? Surely, she couldn’t have just forgotten. “Oh. You never told me about that.”

Lucy just shrugged her shoulders. “I must have forgotten to.”, she answered and turned back to Anne. Why would she forget something like that? Hadn’t she said that she was a Harry Styles fan?

“Do you like London, dear?”, Anne questioned. “Oh, yes, uhm- it’s very beautiful here.”, you stammered and Anne smiled warmly at you. “Have you seen much of the city already?

“Well- parts of it. But I still have much to see, I suppose.”

Anne nodded. “Oh yes, I’m sure Harry will show you around sometime.”, Anne began and you saw as horror washed over Gemma’s face.

Harry? Why would Harry Styles show you around? Surely, they haven’t seen the rumors on the internet? They wouldn’t say anything about it, because Harry Styles would tell them that they weren’t real-

So why did they bring up Harry?

“Harry?”, you questioned and watched Anne’s eyes widen with fear, too. “Lucy. Lucy will show you around.”

Your mouth parted as you moved your eyes to the stage, where Harry had just finished his song and was looking at you. You looked from him to Gemma and back.

Surely Harry wasn’t-

No, no, that didn’t make any sense-

H lived in London. H was working in the music industry. H had his own concerts. H traveled a lot with his band. H didn’t tell you his real name or name of his band. H was a singer. H was a songeriter. H knew Taylor Swift. H was single because his schedule was too tight for love.

H is short for Harry.

Harry fucking Styles.

You felt the tears rush to your eyes as you stared at Harry Styles. He stared back at you as if waiting for you to say something. You bit your lip as you shook your head frequently, looking at him with utter disappointment. He had failed to tell you the truth.

No, no this could not be real, but as you turned around and ran away, you heard Harry Styles calling out after you, which made it all real.

“Cherry, wait.”

taglist: @st-ev-ie @hsstylesrings @bubblespower101 @ravisinghs-wife @mopeymousey @shishcabobsworld @stylesfever @valntynebaby @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @harryspirate @xxlunathewitchxx @hannah9921 @fingermonkey101 @amateurduck @babyiamperfectforyou @ravisinghs-wife @creativelyeva @fanficismydrug @manrocket-mo @crimeshowjunkie @lomlolivia @pagesfalling @harryssky1 @buckybarnessimpp @melancholy-help @annesauriol @tea-and-toast463 @sheslikeacurse @kuntxrgraudunkelbunt @white-wolf-buckaroo @itsgigikay @cherrystyle @be-with-me-so-happily

[romancingdaffodils]

Love Kills

Clampdown

rockstar!remus lupin x reader

PART TGREE OF LOVE KILLS

James wants to kill time. What better way than a trip to ths pub accompanied by a Scottish football game. Remus isn’t seeing you after the incident. You end up sandwiched between him and Sirius. Chaos of the best kind ensues

bet you didn’t expect this come back did you

lots of love from lilac

warnings: alcohol consumption, kissing, general lovey dovey ness, slight pining.

“Alright, party people, let’s get going! We have pub munch and a Rangers game waiting for us.” Pete shouted down the bus. You assumed James had told him to phrase it like that.

“Food poisoning and a bar fight impending.” you mumbled under your breath and Marlene heard. She laughed, whole heartedly. You smiled. The blonde rockstar esc girl was the lead singer for The Valkyries and she was unbelievably punk for lack of a better word. It was shocking to you her and Sirius weren’t dating (it became less shocking when you accidentally bumped into her and Dorcas snogging behind the tour bus). She had her hair cut in what could only be described as a spiked mod cut. In theory, it sounds awful, but some how the blonde woman managed to pull it off. She was pretty to the point your eyes threatened to turn green with envy.

“No need to be so down, scruff. ‘s not like we’re eating something Black has cooked.” she purred, smirking over at you. Her arm was lazily slouched over the shoulder of Dorcas, who was fast asleep on Marlene’s chest.

Sprinting out from backstage, you began to pack up the drums. You were desperate for a distraction from what had just happened. James walking in would appear during midnight daydreams filled with embarrassing moments. The anticipation of sweet relief that never came from the sandy haired man was far worse than any you’d felt before. Silently, you prayed you’d get another moment alone with Remus.

Completely oblivious, you waltzed outside holding the neatly packed away drum kit. Just as you were about to pack it away into storage, you saw something in the corner of your eye. A little flicker of hope made you check it wasn’t the one you were so desperate to see. Dropped, your jaw almost hit the floor in surprise. Dorcas, the Valkyrie’s lead guitarist and Marlene were stood unashamedly showing a rather intimate public display of affection. As cute as the couple were, the scene drove you even further into desperation of wanting to know what could’ve been.

“You’re funny.” you commented, giggling to yourself quietly. She gave you a proud smile.

“I know. How come we haven’t met before, you didn’t go to school with us?” she asked, curious eyes ever catlike.

“Didn’t go to school with you. Met Sirius at a concert and, you know now I’m here.”

“Exciting. Yanno James mentioned he walked into you a—“

Mary slapped her arm. You sighed, burying your head into your hands in defeat. “Did he tell everyone?” you asked, meekly. You could literally feel the colour draining from your face and everything seemed to slow down in a disgusting mix of anxiety and embarrassment.

“Just— Um. Not Sirius though, he doesn’t know.” Mary replied, smiling sympathetically. Saying nothing, you recalled your pinky promise with Remus and went on a mission to go find him. Padding off down the bus, you found him led in his bunk, book in hand.

“Alright?” he asked, not looking up from his book.

“Remember how you promised not to let me kill anyone.”

“Yeah?” his eyes flicked up to you and your stomach twisted. His voice turned to sticky honey in your ears and you were even more convinced he should be the frontman in an indie band. Or maybe he should be an actor. Or a model. He just deserved to be plastered on big screens with his voice trickling out of speakers everywhere you went.

“Need you to hold me back the next time I see James.” he snorted.

“He told everyone, then? Sorry. Should’ve known really.” Remus added, sitting up and swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. He reached out and grabbed his shoes, tugging them onto his feet. It served as a reminder you still had an entire night of everyone and their mother knowing your personal life. The colour was yet to return to your face and slowly you realised the lanky man wasn’t really looking at you. More he was looking through you. Admittedly, it stung, but you had to pretend it didn’t. Everything seemed tense.

“Yeah. Um, so the pub. What are we going for again?” you asked, desperate to revel in his attention.

“James wanted to kill time.” he replied, looking up at you. Wincing, he stood up with a groan. ‘His knees must be bothering him,’ you thought, peering up at him.

“Alright?” you asked, peering up at him.

“Just my knees, I’ll be fine. You ready then?” he said, scratching the back of his neck. You wondered if he’d let you lazily run your fingernails up and down the skin.

“Sure. Why not.” you confirmed. He gave you a small smile, but still wasn’t really looking at you.

You wanted to kiss every inch of his skin to make him look at you.

When it came to a rare enigma of a person (like Remus Lupin), you found yourself completely pliant at every thought of them. You didn’t need to know them for very long or understand them all that well. You just needed them. Which, undoubtedly, was unhealthy in the grand scheme of things. However, who were you to disregard the thought of such a pretty man being in close contact with you?

You were almost certain you had blown everything because of Remus’s estrangement for the past few hours. Perhaps that small smidgen of intimacy would be all you could get. You’d be awfully upset if that was true. Whispering silent prayers that he’d allow you to bask in his gaze once more, you made your way off the bus with the rest of the - as Pete had called them - party people.

The walk to the pub was short, you’d ended up in a rather deep conversation with Mary about her drums. You decided she was your favourite drummer to exist ever, solely because of how lovely she was. Far nicer than Sirius was to you. You felt a pair of eyes lingering over you and automatically whipped your head round to find who it was. Locking eyes with Remus, you gave a small smile before immediately looking away. His eyes shot away without the smile. Maybe he wasn’t staring at you, you tried to rationalise the tension in your brain. The walk to the pub felt a longer than it should’ve with Remus’s eyes on you. Given it was any other situation, you would’ve been basking in Remus’s gaze. However, due to the tension brewing you found yourself wanting to hide away from it.

Squeezing into the booth, you ended up trapped in between Remus and Sirius. Your thighs were pressed tightly against the others. Remus had a pint, Sirius had some concoction of stolen drinks and vodka and you had a less impressive half drunk cider. You still felt Remus’s eyes on the side of your face. The feeling of your skin being pushed against his jeans was not helping.

“I think, I think that football is dumb! Have you ever watched Rugby? ‘s way better!” Sirius declared. You scrunched up your face and you were almost certain you heard Remus chuckle. In fact, you were completely certain because the sound sent a shiver down your spine.

“Don’t ever say that, ever, again. Okay?” you said, pointing at Sirius. You felt like a teacher scolding a student, but it felt necessary.

“I’m right though.” he whined.

“So, you like watching sweaty men grapple with each other?” you said, obviously sarcastically.

“Yeah, pretty much.”

Remus laughed at this exchange, wholeheartedly. He had started laughing at your sarcasm and your stomach twisted at the thought of making him chuckle. Sirius rolled his eyes and turned away, starting a conversation with Marlene and Dorcas.

“Hi.” you whispered, to Remus as you peered up at him. He tilted his head.

“Hi. You alright?” he whispered in response. His hand twitched slightly as he picked up his glass. You wouldn’t have noticed if it were anyone else, but it was Remus.

“Mhmm!” you peered over at the rest of the table and frowned slightly. “How do they do it?”

“Do what, love?” he asked, the pet name slipping out. He mentally scolded himself, but stopped when he saw the blush spread across your face. The slight curl upwards in the corners of your mouth told him he’d misread the situation. See, Remus Lupin was insecure, especially in relationships. He was certain the whole ordeal with James would’ve put you off for life and that you hated him. But, he couldn’t keep his eyes away from you. He would’ve much rather suffered the whole tour staring longingly at someone than try and chase after you after being walked in on due to his consistent self doubt. A moment of tipsy clarity made him realise he was completely and utterly stupid.

“Talk, so easily. And, all the time. They just, always know what to say. I’m jealous really.” you explained, thankful you didn’t stutter of your words.

“Honestly? We were popular at school, it just comes with the territory really. Me less so, I’m still working it out.” he replied, looking down at you. You nodded your head in understanding. You wanted to shrink him down to the size of a mouse and keep him in your pocket at all times.

Somehow, being sat next to Remus had managed to drown out the sound of the football for an extended period of time. However, it wasn’t long before Rangers were getting chances and it was starting to get a little too overwhelming. He seemed to notice. “Wanna go for a smoke?” he asked, offering out his hand as he stood. You’d never moved so fast before. Nodding your head, you took his hand and stood up. He walked, fast. Big strides, you supposed. It never occurred to you that he was moving fast because he was oh so desperate to be alone with you.

You hummed as you leant against the wall, exhaling a mouthful of smoke. You then handed the cigarette back to Remus, who was staring at you like you were the only girl in the world.

‘Christ,’ he thought ‘this’ll kill me.’

Your eyes landed on Remus and you grinned at him. He smiled back before putting out the cigarette. You pressed your face against the cool bricks of the building; the fresh air was relieving you of the stickiness of the pub.

“That comfy?” he asked, chuckling slightly as he looked at you.

“Rem?” you inhale, sharply. You need to ask him. You tell yourself, you have to.

“Yeah?”

“Why haven’t you looked at me since James walked in on, whatever that was?” you asked, mumbling slightly, “If you don’t like me, that’s fine I suppose but, I’d just like you to tell m-“

“ ‘Course I fucking like you, don’t be stupid. I was scared, I’m sorry. I didn’t want to embarrass you. In all honesty, I was certain it would put you off me. I’m pretty sure you’re the only person here I can handle being around for a good month straight.”

You giggled, quietly. Looking up at him, you saw something in his eyes. You couldn’t pin point it, but whatever it was made you feel admired. “Alright. I believe you.”

“Good.” he said, quite plainly. He said your name. You peered up at him. He’d moved. He was stood directly in front of you. You tensed, praying it wouldn’t be a replay of the intense anticipation from yesterday.

“Looks like the cut is healing up nice.” your voice was barely above a whisper as you spoke. He smiled slightly, taking another step towards you. Your back was pressed firmly against the wall.

“Yeah?”

“Mhm!”

“Let me say thanks for cleaning me up?”

“Mhm!” your voice cracked part way through your squeal of approval. He giggled and you felt his breath fan against your face. You had your eyes screwed shut.

“Look at me.” he said. Your eyes opened immediately. “You’re gorgeous, you know that?”

You stayed silent, staring up at him wide eyed.

“Everything anyone could ever want. Everything I could ever want. You’ve got no need to be jealous of those lot. You’re at least a hundred times better.” he mumbled. One of his hands drifted down to your waist, delicately squeezing at the fat there. The other cupped the side of your cheek, forcing you to look up at him.

Cheers erupted from the pub. You couldn’t help yourself.

“I think someone scored.” you whispered.

“Yeah? Or maybe they’re cheering us on.” Remus said before colliding his lips with your own. He tasted of beer, which normally would be repulsive, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care because it was Remus. It was dreamy eyed, pillowy lipped and pretty faced Remus Lupin and you were kissing him. Your Hands latched onto his shoulders, holding on for dear life. It may have looked like you were attempting to push him away, but in reality you were making sure this was real. That you weren’t caught up in a daydream.

Remus thought you were everything. Really. The whole package. You tried your best in everything, apart from dealing with Sirius, and he thought it was so unbelievably attractive. He wanted you to consume him inside and out. You’d already done so to his thoughts. Your lips felt like silk against his own. Remus Lupin had kissed many people. He didn’t think any kisses previously shared lived up to you. Perhaps it was the build up of tension or maybe it was the close proximity the bus forced onto the two of you. Whatever it was, neither of you couldn’t care less.

He pulled away. He breathed. You felt his exhale fan across your face. It forced you into laughter. Tucking your head into his chest, you wondered if this moment could last forever.

“Okay?” he asked, delicately running his fingers through your hair. You nodded. He hummed. You shivered. “Cold?”

“Yeah.” you admitted. He slips off his jacket. His pretty leather jacket that you assume he was coerced into buying by Sirius. You were glad, actually, because he looked completely and utterly gorgeous in it. You tugged on the jacket, after he handed it to you. “Thank you.” you mumble, peering up at him. You’d already pulled away from his chest, but you wished you hadn’t. It was comfortable and sweet. You wanted to go home with him. Unfortunately, Glasgow isn’t quite home. “Can we go back?” you asked.

“Back to the bus?”

“Yeah.”

“ ‘Course we can, dove.” he smirked, lopsidedly. Your face flushed. He chuckled quietly, interlinking his hand with your own as you walked. You couldn’t seem to keep your mouth shut for the duration of the walk. Remus hummed, nodded, asked questions and laughed as you rambled. You didn’t think it got better than this. You finished your final sentence about music and grinned up at Remus. He smiled back.

“After the tour, let me take you out, yeah? Somewhere nice, and preferably not in the murder capital of Europe.” he said, smile still on his face. It wasn’t often Remus asked a question spontaneously. His actions were almost always premeditated. However, it was you. He just couldn’t help himself.

“I’d really like that, I think.” you replied. Your eyes crinkled at the corners with how wide you smiled. You bit your tongue; you’d much rather die than let out the squeal of excitement that was brewing.

You had to get through the tour first.

[diviinaee]

HHAHAHAHAHAHA OK SO THAT QUINN AUDIO WAS SEVERE HEALING FOR ME

obvi spoilers for Facing Your Cruel Vampire Ex

DAMN THAT WAS FUCKING AMAZING BRO

first off i imagine at the beginning darlin is on a lil patio/balcony of the department, looking over the horizon, thinking about how they could ever hurt quinn in the way he hurt them

SAM COMING IN WITH THE FUCKING COMFORT WE ALL NEED I FUCKING LOVE HIM

the way he asked if they truly want to do this.

(ignore philosophy div for opening her mouth):

Is it truly you who wants revenge, or is it the angry, young, broken part of you, just wanting closure?

AND THAT I SAY BOTH BITCH. Who says closure can't be beating the shit out of an abuser? 😻🫶🏽‼️

ALSO DAVID SLAYED THESE PAST FEW VIDS. LIKE YUH BRIBE THE GOVERNMENT ‼️‼️

thank FUCK that mf is magically bound AND has his core muted bc istg if he would've tranced them i think i wouldve needed a lobotomy to process that /hj

ight so.

his nickname for them still IRKS me

again. DID ERIK CONTACT MY EX FOR THIS DIALOUGE CAUSE OUUCH.

"I'd hate to think my favorite thrall was hurting, at least in a way they didn't ask for." - THE GASLIGHTING AND VICTIM BLAMING IS FUCKING ATROCIOUS

idgaf if it's pathetic to fight someone who can't fight back bc its pathetic to hurt others to make yourself seem stronger 🫡

OH OKAY.

"Even after years and miles apart, short-temper, volatile nature, a fury inside that you desperately throw to any direction to keep it from pointing inward again. I guess now that you can't use my fangs to punish yourself and your new toy won't use his, you've had to find other ways to work through your pain. Apparently by putting it on others. How articulate of you."

CAN I TALK MY SHIT AGAIN?

QUINN IS OUTWARDLY VICTIM-BLAMING THIS POOR WOLF LITERALLY EVERY MINUTE THAT HIS MOUTH OPENS.

What he is saying is that Darlin' is the true mastermind here. He thinks that claiming that they consented to everything suddenly makes him the victim in their want for vengeance. He even plainly states it in this quote:

"I never did a single thing to you, that you didn't ask for first. [...] I'm not absolving myself of anything Precious. Believe me, I am intimately aware of everything I've ever done to other people. I have more than my fair share of sins. I delight in them. But when comes to you, everything I ever did was at YOUR request."

He is ultimately saying, "Hey I'm not the bad guy because YOU wanted it." He physically harms them during sex and spins it off as an act of self-harm on THEIR part and is using it to emotionally hurt and shame them. NOT TO MENTION, he is deliberately excusing the emotional hurt he also caused during their relationship by making it seem like they consented to that as well. SO. I need all of you to see remember the FIRST EVER SOLO SAM VIDEO.

They are a lone wolf who is hunting Quinn because of the pain that he caused SOMEONE ELSE. HE attacked their friend and they want revenge for that friend. While yes, at some point that revenge became for them as well, Quinn misses the fact that this whole journey of being hunted by Darlin' was because he hurt OTHER people. But that doesn't excuse his reasoning for his behavior in his role in their relationship.

ANYONE. (with a sane mind at least) WOULD NOT HAVE DONE THAT.

Sure. Let's say that Darlin' WAS a troubled person who asked for pain throughout the relationship. People have kinks. Whatever. BUT, at some point, (if Quinn was sane) he would have asked why Darlin' asks for some much pain. THEN he would have found out that Darlin' felt as though they deserved it, and then he would've told them that they didn't. BECAUSE THAT'S HEALTHY COMMUNICATION. INSTEAD, Quinn sees this broken soul who is "consenting" to pain so that he was an excuse to unleash that pain. It truly is giving, "Hey I warned you so now you can't complain."

wow that was alot for me to just do that section of the video.

ANYWAY.

SLAY QUINN GOT MAD. STAY MAD YOU ASSHOLE.

THIS. QUINN SCREAMING AT THEM TO COME BACK.

HE KNOWS. He knows his effect on them is slipping. He knows they're healing. He is actively trying to make them believe that they are nothing but their time with him. HE KNOWS ALL OF IT. Trust me. I've seen an abuser's reaction to the victim's healing. IT IS LITERALLY THIS. They get so mad that their effect is no longer working. That they can't have someone under them anymore. IT MAKES THEM FEEL WEAK. Quinn truly overestimated himself BECAUSE of the fact that he counted on Darlin's mind. He relied on the idea that they would forever be haunted by him.

OK THATS ENOUGH OF PHILOSOPHY AND PSYCHOLOGY STUDENT DIV NOW MOVING ONTO CHEERLEADER DIV

WOOOOOOO SAM GOT HIS PUNCHES IN LETS FUCKING GOOOOOO

HE PUNCH FOR FRED. FOR BRIGHT EYES. FOR HIMM

also are we gonna ignore thats the first time that bright eyes was mentioned in a LOOOOONG TIME. CAUSE IM NOT. IM GONNA GO BATSHIT CRAZY OVER IT.

we love beating up abusive people. it should be normalized.

thank god for vampiric laws. WE GON WATCH THAT MF DIIEEEEE

LET IT DIE LET IT DIE LET IT SHRIVEL UP AND DIEEEEEE.

anyway anyone catch the fact that the "trip" David is planning is probably HBS.

THANK GOD JUNE IS HERE NOW BC I DON'T THINK I COULD TAKE ANYMORE OF THIS CANON ANGST.

also if anyone ends up asking me if i'm okay i'm gonna laugh cause I wrote some of this on a hospital bed LMFAOOOHDVBHDF

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

hii 📓

Okay so the thing is that I wanted a “the Zenin raised Megumi instead of Gojo” fic but the thing is that I’m absolutely convinced that if the Zenin were the ones that took Megumi they wouldn’t actually take tsumiki too. The fandom consensus I’ve personally seen has been that she would have been taken and mistreated by zenin for being a female non sorcerer but I personally think they would have just straight up left her behind.

They only bought Megumi. They keep non sorcerers and women as servants in their compound but all of them are Zenin themselves. Tsumiki isn’t related and I couldn’t really see any reason why they’d want her. Which turned this into a fic where Tsumiki loses her brother, but she’s trying to find him again, she swears. I think of it as my “siblings doomed by the narrative desperately try to write a new one where they can be together” fic.

The thing is that Tsumikis mom was one of those people who thought love and consumption were synonymous. She had a habit of getting caught up with assholes and just… having both of them chew on each other for a while until it turns into this horrible fucking bloodbath.

Tojis just another loser her mom got caught up in, but he’s Tsumiki’s favorite out of all the losers, because he gave her her brother. Her mom marries this random guy she barley knows and Tsumikis pretty sure she does it so they can both ditch their kids twice as much, secure in the knowledge that there’s supposedly another person checking in. It works out great for them, because they both stop coming entirely. It’s fine, because Tsumiki has Megumi and Megumi has Tsumiki and they don’t need anything else.

It’s one of those things where they were in really unhealthy circumstances and it made their relationship a little bit unhealthy but not necessarily bad. They both had to grow up way too fast and deal with way too much too soon and become codependent on each other because they are, in the most literal way possible, dependent on one another. Neither of them know how to love in a way that doesn’t involve sacrificing themselves for their sibling, mostly because they don’t have a way that doesn’t involve that.

They’re in a sinking ship and tsumiki knows it. Their parents aren’t coming back. The money is going to run out sooner or later. Their problems are stacking up.

Megumi has confessed to her that he sees things that no one else does. When she asks him how he knows no one else sees them, he explains that they’d say something if they did and won’t say anything else. And she doesn’t know what to believe but she refuses to call him crazy. He tells her that monsters cling to her back and he fights them off for her. She patches up his bruises and cuts and tells him he’s brave and tries to figure out if she’s just imagining that her back feels lighter after. He tells her that there are dogs that only he can see that have started following him around, and she tells him she believes him and can never remember, later, if she meant it or was just saying it.

The last time Toji came by, he left them more money than tsumikis ever seen in her life, took them to ice cream, told them that he was sorry he was so shit at this and that the money was Megumi’s share in a payment. It was for something he was going to help daddy with later. Tsumiki and him were to use it to take care of themselves and be healthy, because Megumi couldn’t help him later if he wasn’t. And tsumiki was always afraid of what he meant by that, but in the end, she let it slip her mind. After all, Toji hadn’t been by in ages. He probably wouldn’t come by at all.

And he didn’t. But others did. Two men she’s never met before are waiting outside their building one day, and when they see Megumi, they laugh. But the thing that Tsumiki can never get out of her mind later is that she swears they weren’t looking at Megumi directly. They were looking at his dogs.

Tsumiki basically tries to get Megumi and powerwalk past them, but they’re a lot bigger and a lot stronger and there’s nothing she can do, really. They have a brief conversation about whether they should take her too, before one decides that Toji only sold him his kid and to leave the other behind. This makes both of them try to run, but there’s nothing either of them can do to overpower the men, and the men say that “Naobito would go ballistic if they left the ten shadows behind” so they take Megumi and leave her.

They put Megumi in a car and shove Tsumiki to the curb outside of it, and she tried to hold onto his hand, she swears. She grabbed at the car door even when the car started moving, and she banged on the windows, and she watched as Megumi kicked and punched and screamed inside, until one of them hit him and he went still. She ends up falling and hitting her head when the car picks up speed, and when she wakes up again, the cars gone and she has no idea where it went.

And it becomes a foundational moment for who she is. I think she was just intensely lonely before Megumi and poured a lot of herself into this idea of a family together. Tsumikis never able to shake the moment of her being outside the car and Megumi being on the inside, and not being able to get into him. She can never again get what she felt in that moment out of her head.

She goes to the police and tells them that it’s her little brother, his dad sold him but she wants him back, and they’re like “…”. The issue is that apparently her mom can pick up the damn phone if the police call and she shows up, spins some lie about how her and the stepdad split up and he took the kid with him, they never adopted each others kids so it was within his rights, Tsumiki was taking the separation hard and acting out. She lies, basically, because toji hadn’t kept up his end of the deal and dropped in to check in (neither had she) and his kid wasn’t her responsibility, he could do what he wanted with him. She doesn’t want the police poking around the way she lives. Just let the kid go because he’s probably dead and not her real brother anyway.

Tsumiki refuses to give up on him. They were both kids who no one cared about but they cared about each other and that had to be enough. But she’s seven with no support and zero idea on how to find him. She starts skipping school to look for him in random streets, puts up flyers, can’t go outside without looking for him. She gets held back a year in school because of how much she skips and she can’t bring herself to care. She buys him gifts on every birthday and writes him letters she can’t post because she’s going to find her brother and she’s going to prove to him that she never once stopped looking for him. She just. She needs him to know that she never stopped looking for him. She needs to find him and be able to honestly tell him she never stopped trying.

One day her mom comes back in clothes she can’t afford and comes with movers they shouldn’t be able to afford and announces a move they definitely can’t afford. Tsumikis absolutely opposed to going because if her brother comes to look for her, she needs to be in their old apartment so he can find her. She doesn’t have much of a choice in the matter. They have mysterious new benefactors who are setting up a trust to take care of tsumiki with a very generous stipend for her mom but they have to move to Sendai as a stipulation of getting the money.

It’s not until the attorney who’s managing her trust hands her a set of glittery blue butterfly hairpins that tsumiki realizes her mom sold her brother a second time.

The thing is that tsumiki had this one cheap set of butterfly hairpins she’d always stopped to look at in the store when she took Megumi to go grocery shopping. Shed never buy them, because they couldn’t afford it, but it was the thing she wanted most openly in front of him. She was always secretly really insecure about her hair, because they were the kind of poor where bar soap was a luxury they could only sometimes afford and kids at school made fun of how her hair was dirty and frayed. Megumi was the only one who ever saw how badly she wanted those stupid hair clips. If they had to give her a set of butterfly hair clips, it’s because he demanded that they did.

It’s basically implied that the Zenin are the ones paying for her care and upkeep due to an unspecified deal they cut with Megumi, but when they approached her mom with it, they added the caveat that Tsumiki had to be moved to a new city entirely and there could be no forwarding address left anywhere.

The zenins stance on tsumiki is, effectively, that she’s a weakness Megumi needs to be weaned off of. They honestly assumed he’d just like, forget she ever existed and he. Did not do that. He actually pitched a total bitch fit. Tried to scale the compound walls. Bit multiple people including the clan leader. But he’s got the ten shadows, he’s heir to the clan, and he can’t be caught up on some random non sorcerer who isn’t even a Zenin. They end up agreeing to pay for her to live very comfortably if he starts cooperating more but they want to make sure that he can’t ever find her again if he does ever succeed in running away.

Tsumiki is at once full of hope and hopeless, because on one hand, the butterfly clips prove that Megumi still loves her and remembers her, at least in her mind. But at the same time, she’s being moved to Sendai and doesn’t know how they’ll ever find each other again. She doesn’t honestly know if they’d recognize each other if they saw each other again. She wears the butterfly clips every day, even when she gets too old for the style, because she’s more confident about her brother recognizing them than her.

The thing about tsumiki is that she doesn’t understand hate. She just doesn’t. Her mom and toji always got caught up in these perceived slights and revenge and never once let go of the past. They’d destroy themselves if it meant taking down the people they hated with them. She never wanted that. She wanted to live with the people she loved and she’d happily turn around and forget everything, all the pain, all the searching, if it just meant she could go back to being megumis sister.

This isn’t about hate. This is about that moment outside the car, where her brother was inside and she couldn’t get in to him. This is about how helpless and small she felt when they shoved her to the curb and ripped megumis hand out of hers. She needs to make sure that when she finds Megumi, she can take him home again. So she decides she needs to learn how to fight.

Itadori Yuuji has the constitution of an ox and the strength to match it, and he is known for getting in fights with bullies and trouncing them so thoroughly that it’s never a question of who wins when the fight starts. He’s insanely physically capable and can hold his own in a fight with ease. He’s also nice and kind and Tsumiki’s comfortable enough asking him to teach her how to throw a punch or two.

She is bad at it.

So fucking bad at it.

But she never gives up, and Itadori is nice enough to keep teaching her despite how embarrassingly horrible she is at it all. He always asks her why she wants to learn so bad, she doesn’t seem to like it all, and she never answers his question honestly.

In their last year of middle school, their class has a trip to Kyoto. She, Itadori, and the rest of their group walk into some random restaurant in the city and have barely sat down when someone comes inside, starts searching every booth in the restaurant while shouting Tsumikis name.

And oh. They could recognize each other after all.

She looked for Megumi in every crowd she was ever in, but she didn’t consider that he was doing the same. Or that he would see her first.

Her brother grew up without her seeing it. Hes older, dressed in strange, expensive clothes, has a slightly bruised up face and split lip, but his eyes are the same, and he looks like the brother she remembered.

But a lot more nervous than Megumi ever was. He was a tiny, stoic child who didn’t take any shit and never showed fear, even when there were monsters that only he could see. But he’s nervous when he tells her that she probably doesn’t recognize him or remember him, but when she was a lot younger, he—

Megumi. He’s her little brother. Of course she remembers him. She’s been looking for him everywhere.

Megumi didn’t smile much as a child, but he smiles at her then. He tells her he doesn’t have a lot of time and she tells him that they can leave out the back, and he never let her hold his hand as a child but he takes her hand so easily in that second. And just for a second, she’s his sister again, and it’s everything she wanted.

They never make it out the back.

Two men come in. Megumi calls one of them uncle, and he goes stiff and flat the second he sees him. His uncle apologizes for his nephew, tells everyone that he always makes scenes when they’re out in public, tells him to apologize to the nice people and leave. Megumi was mistaken.

Tsumiki tríes to keep ahold of his hand. Really, she does. She tries to tell people to call the police. But megumis “uncle” steps towards her and Megumi slams him into a table, and then suddenly Megumi’s the one insisting that they leave immediately. They can go. It’s fine. They’re leaving. She loses ahold of his hand.

She tries to follow, but the other man restrains her. She learns that she’s better at slamming plates into peoples heads than she is at punching, and at this point itadoris Friend In Danger Override has been triggered and he fucking tackles the dude, which gives tsumiki the clearing that she needs to chase outside after her brother. She gets out just in time to see him be pushed into a car, and she’s had years to think about the last time this happened and figure out what to do differently. She throws herself in front of the car and refuses to move.

See her entire stance is that she’ll sooner get run over and killed in the street than let them do this a second time, but she also can see Megumi trying to fucking punch the drivers head in from behind because he’s about to hit his sister. His uncles trying to restrain him, and just for a second, she sees his hands make the shape of the shadow puppets he used to show her as children. Something invisible slams her out of the way just as his uncle knocks him out.

She picks up a rock and tries to smash in the fucking window with it, and itadori has to pull her out of the way to keep her from getting her feet run over when the car finally tears out of the parking lot. She goes ballistic on him for stopping her because her brother was right there and she lost him again and she didn’t even get the license plate. He was right there.

The police basically do jack all again. There’s no license plate, no names they can follow up on, and they’re still half convinced this is a settled custody issue even though tsumiki insists her brother was sold by his dad and is very plainly getting hurt wherever he is. Itadori is now a devoted advocate of finding tsumikis brother and reuniting them, and both basically kind of end up becoming really close to the other? He’s taking care of himself and his grandpa alone, she’s alone while her moms awol again, and they both become the others support system.

At one point, there’s this random girl and boy who doesn’t speak who shows up to their school for indeterminate reasons. The girl is bored and twirling her glasses in one hand while the person in a suit that they’re with asks the principal questions, and when tsumikis eyes catch at the right angle, she sees an invisible monster clinging to a classmates back through them. She realizes it’s exactly what Megumi always talked about and still remembers that the people who took him could see his dogs. She corners the two others in a room and tries to demand information about the invisible monsters or see if they know her brother or the people who took him, and immediately gets blown off. The fight escalates until the girl tells him that actually, yeah. She knows tsumikis brother. He is a very special person to some very powerful people, and the only way she can ever help him is to tell him that she’s let go of him and that he needs to do the same to her. That’s the only message that the people who have him would ever let get through, and his life would get a lot better as soon as he got it.

The people who have him would give him anything in the world, except for her. He could be a lot happier and healthier than he is right now if he just agreed to stop trying to find tsumiki. If she really wants to help her brother, then she needs to let him go.

Tsumiki nails her in the back of the head with a milk carton when she tries to walk away. It sloshes out on her. Tsumiki did not intend this. She cannot admit that fact. There are some actions you just have to own when you do them. She tells the girl that he’s her brother and she’s never letting go of him. She’s going to find him. They can’t keep him from her forever. She doesn’t care how long it takes her.

For a second, tsumiki really thinks this girl is going to kick her ass, but she doesn’t. She wishes her luck and tells her she’ll need it, and it’s only later that tsumiki realizes she slipped the eyeglasses into her pocket.

And as it turns out, her brothers monsters were real all along.

There was a knife that toji left in the frame of his bed. Tsumiki confiscated it from Megumi as soon as he found it, and it was odd and strange and gave her bad feelings when she held it, and it can kill the things that gather on her back. When she follows Itadori to their local high school and joins the occult club in an attempt to find more people involved in this world of invisible monsters, she wears the eyeglasses and keeps the knife hidden in her bag.

It comes in handy when her senpais are trying to open this thing and suddenly there’s like a fucking portal opening and Actually Let’s Not Oh Too Late Let’s Run Let’s Fucking Run.

They run.

Meanwhile at the hospital Megumi found out in very quick succession that his sister has fucking sukunas finger and also that there’s a very over enthusiastic himbo who is the self appointed vice president of the Find Fushiguro Megumi And Bring Him Home Club who absolutely fucking refuses to leave his side. Sorry who are you. Why are you so enthusiastic about finding him. Megumi sort of was the one doing the finding there was a whole tracking situation and him waiting dramatically in the shadows like they just did it.

Anyway they run very very quickly to tsumikis school where she is dodging she is serpentining this is a fuckton of monsters oh holy fuck is that her brother?

The fight goes bad.

Tsumiki manages to follow itadori and her brother out at a much slower pace because she’s not a freak of nature like itadori and shows up just in time to see her brother shouting at itadori to not eat the fucking finger while itadori is absolutely trying to eat the fucking finger.

She chucks her shoe at him. The finger goes flying.

Then the monster eats it instead.

Tsumiki: :o

Yuuji: :o

Megumi: fuck

Now there’s a bigger monster and the fight goes even worse. There’s a lot of shouting. Itadori ends up with her knife. Then he ends up getting eaten and they’re down both a knife and itadori, who’s probably fucking dead. Then megumis insisting she run and she’s insisting he shut the fuck up because it’s sort of taken a decade to get this close to him again and she’s not fumbling the bag now because of a monster on the rampage. Have a sense of fucking priorities here.

Then itadori bursts out of the monsters stomach with the knife like the fucking Kool Aid Man and the fight is suddenly very over. Good job, team.

Gojo rolls up to his most stoic and eternally pissed off student having a dramatic and emotional reunion with his sister.

Yuuji, in a very bad whisper: no no so like she’s been looking for him for years but he saw her in the restaurant

Gojo: :o go on

Yuuji: and then he got caught by like, I don’t know, he said he was his uncle or something but the dude acted so weird and creepy and they put him in a car and Tsumiki tried to stop the car but they got away

Gojo: *gasp* what no

Yuuji: I know! Anyway then I start helping her look for him but we can’t find him anywhere until I’m at the hospital and he just walks up to me right?? And I’m like “dude I have been looking everywhere for you” and he’s like “I have no idea who you are, I’m here about that fucked up demon finger” and I’m like—

Megumi, really trying to have a moment here: we can both hear you

And megumis like “this is uh. My new teacher. I guess. I am his only student. And he is uh. Enthusiastic. Do not linger in conversation with him.”

Tsumiki is lingering. She needs fucking intel so he can’t disappear again. Where does he go to school and can she transfer there. It’s fucking wizard school? Will they take her even though she’s not a wizard? She cannot emphasize enough that she will study any fucking subject they want so that way she can be close with her brother again she does not care if it’s applicable to her education or life. She can throw things at people itadori tell the man tell him how enthusiastically she will throw things at monsters for their weird fucking wizard school.

Itadori: she hit me in the face with her shoe like five minutes ago

Tsumiki: see???

Megumi keeps trying to forbid her from wizard school but she’s technically the older sister so she has override rights. She will go to wizard school. How does she get wizard school to accept her.

And Gojos just really weird and off and keeps looking at Megumi and saying that he “didn’t know he had a sister.”

He really didn’t know that Megumi had a sister he wanted to stay with.

And then suddenly it’s like a switch is flipped and he’s back to his normal self telling them to leave everything to him, because he’ll make sure tsumiki can come back with them. And uh? Itadori? Weirdly physically capable kid who will apparently eat anything? Is he going to be good getting home after all this?

Itadori: actually if it’s not too much trouble can I go to wizard school too my grandpa sort of died half an hour ago and I don’t have plans for the rest of my life. Tsumikis kind of my best friend and I’d like to make sure she’s all good at wizard school. I’m a really good fighter and I stabbed the last monster so like can I come too because you know. Dead grandpa. No family or future to speak of. Haha.

Gojo:

Megumi:

Tsumiki, softly: dude

There’s more after they make it to jujutsu high but this is already really long so we leave it here

[just-a-girl-who-wrytes]

Part 4 ❤️

What Deacon didn’t know was about the physical scars Nikki herself carried.

His heart longed to comfort her when she began telling him the story of her previous marriage… She was young - in her early twenties, and by the time she saw the red flags, it was too late to safely escape. When she tried, she was met with a knife to the abdomen that evicerated her intestines. However, Deacon was floored when Nikki told him the marriage’s demise. When her ex husband had grabbed the knife, wielding it to her abdomen, she was a split second faster with her Glock 48, putting a hollow point into his head as she dropped the phone she had dialed 911 with. That was how Nikki’s life was spared.

Nikki noticed mixed emotions in Deacon’s eyes - fear, sadness, compassion, but most of all: complete awe.

“And that is why I have made it a point throughout my entire career to be that calm in the middle of people’s storms. Because the flight nurse that paralyzed and intubated me was my calm in the storm. Him telling me I was in great hands and he was going to take care of me just as if I were his family is the last thing I remember before waking up in the ICU myself.”

Deacon was stunned. He wasn’t sure what to say at first, but he didn’t hesitate to take her hand into his, caressing her hand rubbing her knuckles with his thumb ever so gently.

“Nikki,” Deacon started, “You are the most amazing woman I have ever had the pleasure of meeting.”

Deacon couldn’t keep himself from falling for her even more when he realized that she truly treated others the way she wanted to be - and had been treated.

That was why, when Deacon walked Nikki up to her front door that night, he embraced her in his arms. When the hug ended, Deacon cradled Nikki’s face with his hands and stroked her cheek with his thumb.

“I hope you enjoyed your night tonight,” he said as he looked longingly into her eyes.

Nikki allowed herself to relax into his palm while never breaking her gaze with the tall man.

“This was the best night I have had in a long, long time.” She momentarily thought back; she hadn’t had a serious relationship since she had to shoot her ex-husband. She had gone on a few dates since then, but dating and relationships didn’t sit quite right with her after her last relationship left her fighting for her life - literally.

“I would love to have the honor of taking you out again,” Deacon spoke with a smile.

Nikki reached up and held Deacon’s wrist, squeezing it affectionately. She never broke connection with his hand still caressing her cheek.

“Deacon, I would love to spend another night on a date with you.”

The butterflies the graying man felt in the pit of his stomach and the fluttering in his chest was undeniable. He couldn’t stop himself from reaching up with the other hand to caress her opposite cheek as he leaned down and softly pressed his lips to hers.

Any other time, Nikki would have immediately ran in the opposite direction if a man decided to kiss her on the first date.

This time was different though. Deacon’s kiss was longing, but it wasn’t desperate. She had no doubt in her mind that he would take all of her if she gave the hint that was what she wanted, but this kiss was restrained with no indication or pressure of anything further… Not yet at least. His lips against hers were loving. This kiss was innocent. She felt protected with him.

Nikki pulled away first and Deacon pulled her into his arms and kissed the top of her head.

“I know you need to work tomorrow. You should go home so you can get some rest.” Nikki said, breaking the silence.

“I would stay up forever if it meant constant memories with you.”

Nikki smiled and blushed, she stood on her tip toes and kissed Deacon’s bearded cheek, “I had the most amazing time tonight. Thank you so much.”

“Look. At. That. Smile.” Hondo spoke when he saw Deacon walk into the locker room the next morning.

“Brother, she is unimaginable.”

“I take it your date went well.”

“It was the best night I have ever had and I get to do it all again tomorrow night.”

Hondo smiled at his coworker beaming.

“A second date already?”

“Yes, Hondo. I’m telling you, I’m gonna marry that girl.”

“A little soon, isn’t it?” Hondo chuckled. “Regardless, I’m so happy for you.”

Deacon got to spend the first part of his morning telling the rest of 20-David about his date with the girl he claimed he was going to marry.

[ducks-and-stuff]

More Jimmy and Pearl stuff

trigger warnings for alcohol consumption

It is 2am when Pearl leans back against the wall and declares, with all the grace of a slightly tipsy twenty-something year old, “You’re an idiot”

Jimmy scrunches up his nose in a way that must resemble some sort of drowned kitten. “…what?”

Pearl hums, stares blankly into the moon overhead, and takes another swig of the bottle. 

“An idiot Jim. The worst idiot. The worst idiot that’s ever woken up, gotten out of bed, and decided to be an idiot. There’s a  hierarchy to this sort of thing. And at- at the very tippy top up there, see, see that’s you just going around…” she sighs in what is likely disappointment, “being yourself.” 

“… oh” 

Jimmy says, as Pearl fidgets with the bottle of wine in her hands.

Grian always meant to break it out for some sort of, important occasion, probably. Like Martyn’s wedding or Evo’s ten year anniversary or Jimmy being right about literally anything for once in his life. But Grian isn’t here anymore, only Pearl and Jimmy are, which is why they stay up till 2am and climb onto the rooftop and drink his wine over what was once his empire. 

Jimmy has been drinking. 

Martyn, who isn’t around all that much anymore either, said that was a bad idea. To be fair though, Jimmy doesn’t have good ideas on his own nowadays. 

Maybe he never did. 

Pear, who probably doesn’t care what anyone or anything thinks of her, much less Martyn of all people, laughs a little.

“I hate the Moon”

She says, still staring at the night sky. 

“Have I ever told you that Jim, that I hate the Moon?”

Jimmy blinks. 

Once. 

Twice. 

His head is stuffed with flower petals.

“I don’t- maybe?” 

“Yeah” 

Says Pearl, nodding her face towards the crescent of light, the one that shines dimly in the night sky. Daunting and all-seeing and beautiful in a millions of ways. 

“The people there are all…” 

She pauses, takes another sip.

“Jerks”

Is what is settled on eventually, and then the bottle is passed back over to Jimmy, who tentatively takes it in his shaking fingers. 

“What?” 

He asks again, and Pearl snorts and buries her face in her fists, starting to giggle. 

Jimmy furrows his brow. 

“Those guys messed me up real good, you know? Everything- everything was a lie, when I was up there. Everything they told me and taught me it was-” 

She pauses, and breathes, and giggles just a little bit more. 

“I like the sun Jimmy, Grian is like the sun. More people should be like that” 

Jimmy stares at the billion of stars twinkling up overhead, and scrunches up his nose. 

If Grian were here, which he obviously isn’t, he would shine in the background of the scene. Not a sun, or a star, which is basically the same thing if you really think about it, but just- a human. Still human, and not whatever the Watchers turned him into. 

“Nobody lives on the moon Pearl”

Jimmy states, quite confident in this opinion. 

The bottle is glass and it is cold and it burns his skin even when that doesn’t make a lot of sense. 

“Course they do”

The brunette says with a snort, twirling a strand of her shoulder-length hair. 

“What, are you the moon police or something?” 

And Jimmy is the property police actually, though maybe Pearl doesn’t remember that part of the story because it is 2am and they are almost drunk and Martyn isn’t around anymore either.

Jimmy wordlessly looks down the barrel of the bottle which doesn’t hold any of the answers they so desperately needs, and passes it back to Pearl.

“I think- Martyn. He might like the moon” 

The slightly taller of the two comments without much thought, because despite’s Pearl’s ire the wayward rock is rather beautiful tonight, and he thinks his parter in crime is still someone he loves, despite everything he had done there in the end. 

“Perfect” mutters Pearl, leaning her head back on the bricks. “They were made for each other”

Jimmy hums while Grian laughs. A perfect soundtrack. One that sounded before Martyn up and left his people and the sky opened wide and everything went the way it did. 

“The Watchers too…. We’ll just shove Martyn, and the Watchers, and anything else that betrays the Evolutionist’s right there up on the moon. That’ll show them.”  

Pearl laughs as she says it, and points the tip of the bottle towards the billions of stars.

She’d be a hero, had she declined Grian’s invitation to Evo last year. She’d be out doing something amazing like starting a company or planting a garden and Jimmy would be stupid and drunk on a rooftop all alone. But Pearl came when Grian asked, and Jimmy had too, so maybe thinking like that is a bit pointless nowadays.

An owl hoots somewhere in the distance, and Jimmy can’t help but think that maybe, the Watchers have a thousand one eyes trained on it too. 

“…Hey Pearl?” 

“Yeah Jim?” 

“Could I… uh, could I ask you something?”

“I guess, long as it’s not stupid”

“I- Oh”

“Yeah. 

Pearl stares down the neck of the bottle, swishes it around a little. 

I think I’ve had enough of stupid. For like- ever. 

Her eyes are pitch black, in the years before she becomes something almost human. Just like the void, except for that one sliver of cerulean light that shines through where her pupils would be. 

Her hair billows in the night wind. 

An owl hoots in the distance. 

“… Hey Pearl?”

“Yes Jim” 

“Pearl it uh… theoretically, what-what would you do if the question was stupid because I’ll be honest Pearl, I’ll be-“ he laughs, “it might- it might be really stupid.” 

Jimmy stares at Pearl who spins and wavers and glows a little around the edges. 

“Like, super stupid.” 

Pearl stares back right. Stares and stares with void filled eyes and a scrunched up nose right up until the moment she doubles over in a fit of vicious laughter.

“Wha- you- what the- what? Jimmy! What do you- Jimmy what is wrong with you! You are such- what? What do you- I had one requirement Jimmy! One! Jimmy- oh my gosh Jimmy- Jim- you’re such ansuch an idiot!”

And Jimmy laughs too, even though that isn’t really funny and he still doesn’t consider himself an idiot, no matter what everyone and everything and the universe itself seems to tell him on a daily basis. 

He laughs, and Pearl laughs, and the owl hoots and the cow moos and the world spins round like a rainbow scented record player right up into the moment Pearl pauses and hiccups and says, 

“H- wait hey, what’s wrong?” 

‘Absolutely nothing’

Jimmy says with a confident grin. 

‘Because I have you and you have me and that’s a lot to come by nowadays.’

Except before the words can leave his mouth he feels something warm and wet run down his flushed cheeks.

“I uh-” 

And Grian doesn’t smile because Grian isn’t here and Martyn doesn’t tell him to stop making bad life choices and the Watchers don’t leave their server after all, and Pearl doesn’t hug him and tell him it’s all going to be okay regardless. 

Instead she freezes a little and her not human eyes blow wide and she sets the bottle down on that little ledge on the rooftop that overlooks what was once an empire.

“Shit, hey, no Jimmy- Jimmy, look at me”

A hand is placed on his shoulder. Warm, like Martyn’s touch was when winter came, before he opened a portal and decided to go through and left them all behind.

“Jimmy, you need to- stop- stop crying alright. It’s not-” 

She runs a hair through her hair and looks to the side, as if the treetops scattered through the landscape hold the answers. 

“C’mon Jim, there’s- it’s fine, you’re fine, it’s going to be fine. You’re- here’s what, you’re the fun one alright. Everyone else on this server is stupid and rotten and burned out or something but you- you’re not any of those things, alright? You still like, talk about wanting to see your cat and stuff. That’s funny. You’re funny. And an idiot. You’re like- the glue that sticks every piece of us together, even if those pieces are all rotten and stuff right mate? The funny one doesn’t cry. You don’t cry, I don’t- you smile Jimmy, that’s what you’re supposed to do alright, you’re supposed to smile till it’s over. You need to- I… I need you too.”

And- and That’s probably a very selfish thing for her to ask, Jimmy will realize later, when he lays curled up in the house that doubles as the most unimpressive built on the sever. 

Stupid and selfish, for her to cry and scream and destroy all she wants while Jimmy keeps on smiling for the sake of their shared universe. To fit the narrative. For the sake of everyone but himself.

But tonight Jimmy is drinking, and Pearl is smiling when she so rarely does anymore, and at the end of the day it was always Martyn who thought stuff like that through, not Jimmy. No, Jimmy is the one who makes the wrong decisions and says the wrong things and looks at Pearl on that rooftop back before Evo was done and gone and says:

“Okay”

“Okay?”

Pearl parrots, breathing heavy. 

“Okay” 

Jimmy says again, with a smile he sincerely hopes does not come across as strained, and that’s Pearls cue to nod and pull away. 

The night is cold when her hand leaves, but Grian doesn’t mention it.

“Here”

she says with a a sniff, picking up the wine and tilting it towards him. 

White. 

Like their robes were when they came from the sky and tore the universe into two. 

“It’ll make you feel better” 

And it won’t, likely, they both know that, because Grian is gone and Martyn has left and the Watchers are anything but small, but Jimmy tilts the bottle back towards the celestial rock that holds all of Pearl’s ire, and pretends very hard that it does. 

[ts1m1kas]

Original Ask: how about kostas thinking his girlfriend forgot his birthday, literally everyone wished him a happy birthday but she didn't, and after training he comes back a little moody but finds a sweet cake baked with his girlfriend apologizing cause she wanted it to be surprise!! (@findingnemosworld)

Word Count: 1085 words

(author's note: thank you for the request my love !! i've been waiting desperately for a kostas request, so this one really inspired me 🫶)

Kostas woke up with a smile on his face. The sun shone through the curtains, illuminating the bedroom he shared with his girlfriend. However, today was extra special. It was his birthday. Kostas loved his birthday. He enjoyed nothing more than spending time with his family and the celebrations that came with the occasion. 

He picked up his phone from his bedside table and began to reply to the mass of birthday wishes. His instagram inbox was the most full. Fans from all over the world took time out of their day to wish him happy birthday. It warmed his heart to know that he was appreciated and supported by so many people.

Kostas turned on his side and gently pulled his girlfriend closer to him. He decided to wake her up by pressing soft kisses onto the skin of her neck. Eventually, Y/N woke up and laid her head on Kostas’ chest.

“Good morning, baby,” she whispered tiredly, “Did you sleep well?”

Kostas was confused. He had expected her to say happy birthday and press a kiss to his lips. He decided not to dwell on it and chalked it down to her early morning tiredness.

“Yes, I slept fine.” He replied, trying not to let his annoyance show.

“Are you sure, you seem irritated?”

“Yes. I’m sure. I need to get ready for training now.”

“Okay my love,” she replied, smiling up at him as he got out of bed.

Kostas just looked away, knowing the hurt would be written across his face. He moved over to the wardrobe to busy himself with getting dressed. Y/N watched him intently. She always said he looked his best in the morning.

Once he was ready to go, he said a brief goodbye to Y/N and left. As he drove to the training ground he mulled over the events of the morning. Surely she hadn’t forgotten his birthday? Y/N was never the type of person to forget important dates. She always remembered every detail about the people she held dear to her.

The drive was over before he knew it. Kostas pulled into a parking space, grabbed his training bag off of the backseat of his car and headed inside the building. 

The AXA training ground was one of Kostas’ favourite places to be. Football had been his passion since he was a small boy playing on the streets of Greece. He never in a million years thought he would be where he was now. The peaceful feeling overtook him as he made his way to the changing rooms.

Pushing open the door, Kostas walked in. “Hello birthday boy!” he heard Andrew cheer.

"Come on everyone, let's sing him a song!"

As his teammates began to sing happy birthday, he felt instantaneously better. At least they had remembered his birthday.

Meanwhile, Y/N felt awful. She knew it was Kostas’ birthday, but in order to surprise him she had to pretend she’d forgotten. She also had to pretend she didn’t see the wounded look on her boyfriend’s face as he came to the conclusion that she really hadn’t remembered his special day.

As soon as Kostas had left the house, Y/N jumped into action. She blew up balloons and littered them down the hallway. She stuck up banners in every room and hung up bunting on the doorways. Once she was satisfied with the decorations, she checked her phone.

Y/N had ordered a custom cake for Kostas from his favourite bakery. She meticulously planned the design before sending her ideas to the bakers. She had finally received the text that told her it was ready for collection.

Pulling on one of Kostas’ hoodies, she set off to the bakery. Once she had arrived, the workers brought the cake out for her to look at. It had a white icing base with blue detailing to reflect the flag of the country he had grown up in. Written on top of the cake was ‘Happy Birthday Kostas!’. Y/N paid for the cake and they packaged it up for her. After thanking them for their help, she began her walk home.

Kostas had just finished training. Luckily for him, the training session hadn’t been too gruelling and he wasn’t too sweaty. He changed out of his athletic gear and into the tracksuit he had arrived in. He then began his journey home.

Pulling into the driveway of his house, he exited the car, locked it and pulled out his house keys. He was still feeling sour from his morning, although the team had done a good job at cheering him up. Unlocking the door, his eyes widened when he saw the decorations. Y/N was sitting at the bottom of the staircase and upon seeing her boyfriend enter the house, jumped up and ran into his arms.

Kostas dropped his bags and wrapped his arms around his girlfriend’s middle. He pressed a soft kiss to her forehead and smiled down at her.

“Happy birthday handsome,” she said, looking up at him, reciprocating the smile he was directing at her.

"I knew you wouldn't forget."

“How could I forget one of the most special days of the year?”

This elicited a laugh from Kostas as he leant down to give his girlfriend a proper kiss. She smiled into the kiss and when they broke apart, grabbed his hand and began to lead him to the kitchen.

“I have another surprise for you.”

Once she had pulled Kostas into the kitchen, she motioned for him to stand in front of the box on their kitchen counter. Kostas looked up at her, giving her a look that read; should I open it? She nodded at him, urging him to continue.

Unwrapping the ribbon, Kostas pulled the lid of the box open and raked his eyes over the cake that lay inside. Looking up at his girlfriend and back down at the cake again, a warm feeling spread through his body. Kostas had never been so in love with anyone in his life.

He moved over and pulled Y/N into another hug. Once they pulled away, Kostas took a deep breath, “Thank you so much γλυκό κορίτσι. I love you.”

“I love you too, Kostas Tsimkas. I’d never forget your birthday.”

The pair then grabbed forks and sat at their dining table to eat the cake. The cake was not only a symbol of Kostas’ birthday, but a symbol of the love the couple shared.

[anonymityisfunwriter]

Two Sides of The Same Coin - Chapter 23: "Dancing With Our Hands Tied"

"I loved you in spite of deep fears that the world would divide us..."

You weren't sure how long it had been since you bolted from the conference room, leaving both Bucky and Tony calling after you, but it didn't really come as a shock to you that someone was already knocking on your door. You don't reply, still staring out at the window at the seemingly endless horizon. The door quickly creaks open and you sigh softly, “I don’t want to talk right now, Sam.”

“Guess again,” a familiar voice says.

Your head jolts to the side to see Nick Fury standing in your doorway.

“Oh, hi Nick,” you mutter, only offering the smallest of smiles. 

“To be honest, I was expecting a warmer welcome,” he remarks, walking into your room and taking a seat at your desk. 

“I’m sorry.”

“No need. I was in the area, thought I’d stop by to check on you.”

“So Sam called you?” you knowingly guess. You figured that it was only time before Sam checked on you himself or in this case, called in reinforcements. 

He chuckles, “Very good, he did. He said you met Dr. Strange today- that he showed you something that you didn’t like.”

“He showed me, me.”

“Yourself in alternate timelines, alternate universes,” Nick corrects.

“It’s still me.”

“But it’s not you.”

“It could be," you counter.

“And I could be a circus clown in another timeline, doesn’t mean I am in this one.”

“You don’t understand! I’ve spent my whole life wanting to be good. To be better. To be more than what I was told, and to know that I still could be bad, I don’t know what to do with that.”

“You don’t do anything with that," he replies simply. "We make choices every single day, we make the choice to be good and do the right thing every day- you just keep doing what you’re doing. You seem to be doing it very well.”

“People have died because of me. People have gotten hurt because of me.”

“I assume you’re talking about Wanda. And your caretaker.”

“They killed her because of me,” you remind him, your voice absent as you stare at your hands, remembering how you desperately tried to save her. Every day you had to reconcile that there was nothing you could have done, she was dead the second the bullet hit her. It didn't change that you wept over her body for days, blood very literally staining your hands and face. Until someone had the decency to remove her body from your room.  

“I just have a question for you: How do you think we found you?”

“What?” you shakily exhale, finally turning to look at him. 

“How do you think we found you? It’s not like I’ve got some built in superhero radar.”

“I don’t know.”

“I’ll tell you how: we received an insider tip claiming to have witnessed a gifted individual. That said individual needed help. We didn’t believe her at first, and our preliminary search showed no such individual. You already know that there is no record of you…anywhere, which is practically impossible in this day and age. But I imagine she was trying to get ahold of SHIELD for quite some time before someone believed her.”

“And then you found me,” you mutter, putting the pieces together. 

“And then we found you,” Nick confirms.

“You found me because of her?”

“They didn’t put a bullet in her head because she was caught smuggling something in. They did that because she gave you a way out, because she chose to do the right thing. After working for that terrible place, she did the right thing. Any person, at any time can choose to do the right thing. You could kill me with a flick of your hand if you wanted to.”

“I would never do that!” you insist.

“Exactly. You would never do that.”

And though Nick's words helped, once again, the toll had already been taken. The damage inflicted. And the firm grasp of mental stability was loosening, slipping from your fingers.

After Dr. Strange's little display, Sam effectively benched you again, telling you to take some time to process everything. The kidnapping. Seeing versions of yourself you were never meant to see. It seemed like there was not one constant in your life anymore.

Things with Bucky had irrevocably changed, and you found yourself unsure of where you stood with him.

You and Sam weren't as close as you used to be when it was just the two of you.

It was all different now. 

You couldn't close your eyes for a split second without seeing that room. Without hearing Rumlow's words in your mind. Or seeing the alternate timelines. You couldn't blink without seeing it, much less actually sleep. 

The last time you managed to sleep was the same night that Strange showed you those timelines, and now you were really wishing that he hadn't. The final thread of sanity that you clung to, was almost completely frayed, and you found yourself unsure of your own mind. 

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” you hoarsely whisper, looking up to see Bucky standing in front of you with a concerned look on his face. 

“Doesn't seem like it. You seem, I don't know, off."

"Off?" you bitterly chuckle. "You could say that."

"What's wrong?" Bucky asks again, ignoring the malice dripping from your voice. It's malice that you've never directed toward him, but you can't bring yourself to calm down. There's something not right about the whole interaction, the way Bucky stands rigidly in front of you, the absent expression on his face. It all feels...off.

“Sam’s my best friend, you know. I love him. He does so much for me," you gently say, your tone dramatically shifting in a way that feels stilted, unnatural. 

“But?”

You shake your head. “No, no but’s.”

“But?” he asks again.

“Sometimes I just feel so helpless. So small.” You let your words hang in the air for a moment before adding, “And I don’t want anyone to think I’m not grateful, because I am. I really am…but sometimes I just- I feel like I’m losing myself, you know? I don’t even know how that’s possible- a person losing themselves without even knowing who they are. And I know one day I’ll look around and the world won’t be new anymore. The novelty, the excitement, it’ll all be gone. And I don’t know who I am without that.”

Bucky's head turns in confusion, like you're speaking two different languages. Something he's never done before, part of the reason you gravitated toward him was because he understood you so well, so to have him look at you like that, there aren't words for how painful it is.

“I’m losing it. That’s what’s happening. I’m going crazy," you declare when he remains silent. "I'm actually going crazy.”

"Stop it." You look up just as he flinches away from you. 

"I'm not - I'm not doing anything," you stammer, looking down at your hands. You're just in your room, the air is still, and but your hands tremble with unease as a chill runs down your spine.

"I'm being serious, stop," he firmly demands.

"I'm not doing anything!" you exclaim, but when you look away from your hands, you're not in your room but in some strange empty field. Flowers begin to wilt around you, winds scream against you. Bucky raises his hands to shield his face against the violent winds.

"Stop it!" he pleads desperately. "You're scaring me!"

“You should be scared,” you thunder, anger building inside of you at your helplessness. "You should all be scared."

You look up once more and you see Bucky standing there - blood pooling in his midsection and staining his shirt. 

You woke up gasping for air that night, coughing like someone's hands had gripped your throat all night. The air was still, the night quiet but your hands trembled for hours after.

That was the last night you even tried to sleep. Now, you were running on short cat-naps and copious amounts of caffeine. You weren't even laying on your makeshift bed at night, too worried that you accidentally fall asleep and have those awful dreams again. 

It's 3 AM now. Once you’re sure that the coast is clear and the Compound is completely quiet, you pad over to the kitchen. You take a deep breath as you prepare for your third night without sleep. As you enter the kitchen, the lights flicker on, startling you. 

“James,” you gasp, tripping on your own feet and harshly stumbling back.

Bucky instantly grabs your arm to steady you, he maintains the gentle grip on your arm as he asks, “How many days has it been since you slept?”

“What?” you exhale, your brain muddled from sleep deprivation.

“You heard me, how many days has it been since you slept? And don’t lie to me, I’ll know if you’re lying.”

You try to wipe the exhaustion from your eyes, hoping he can't see the turmoil you were desperate to hide. “Just didn’t get a full 8 hours.” Bucky’s stare hardens as he waits for the truth. “Okay, it’s been 2 days.”

“You haven’t slept for 48 hours?”

“No,” you squeak.

“And why not?”

Your voice cracks as an involuntary whimper leaves your mouth, “I can't go back there anymore. I don’t want to go back.”

“Oh, Doll,” he coos, pulling you into a tight embrace. He knew exactly what that felt like, and for you to feel that too, it killed him.

“I always end up back there now,” you mumble into his shoulder, staining his shirt with your tears. 

"You have to sleep," he gently reminds you. 

You vehemently shake your head. "I can't. I can't do it anymore."

"Come on, you can stay with me tonight."

You nod wordlessly, allowing him to intertwine his fingers with your own as he guides you to his room. At first, you have every intention to stay awake, not wanting to risk any more mental anguish- especially in front of Bucky. But it's the dead of the night, and you both are equally exhausted. It doesn't even occur to either of you to find this awkward or to place any implication on what this means as he pulls you into his pseudo-bed. It's too familiar, even though neither of you had ever slept in the same bed together. There isn't any thinking, any wondering, as you slip into his bed, under the thin blankets, sleepily watching Bucky as he watches you. You offer him one last sleepy smile as you simultaneously nod off. 

-

Bucky jolts awake at the quiet sound of a camera shutter, his eyes snap open to find Steve standing by the door holding his phone up with a mischievous grin on his face.

“Oh my God,” Steve exaggeratedly mouths, the smirk still present on his face.

“If you wake her up, I’m going to kill you,” Bucky mouths back, careful not to move a muscle.

“Sam's going to,” Steve mouths, comically dragging a finger over his throat as he backs up to the door. He turns the door knob, silently laughing at Bucky because Steve knows that Bucky won't risk waking you up to chase after him.

With the door shut, he's once again alone with you. Bucky throws his head back, dreading leaving this room to listen to Steve endlessly rag on him, or worse, to find out that Steve caved and told Sam how he'd found the two of you this morning.

And now that Steve's gone, there's nothing to distract him from the less than friendly situation he'd found himself in. He really didn't know what he'd been thinking the night before.

To put it simply, he'd been worried about you for days. He could see that you weren't yourself. That combined with subtle changes in behavior that he noticed and the weary expression in your eyes on your normally bubbly face, he knew there was more than you were letting on.

Catching you in the middle of the night was intentional, spending the night with you was not. He didn't know where he'd gotten the nerve, the boldness to guide you into his room, into his bed. 

And these were the consequences of his own actions - if he could really call it a consequence.

You clung to him tightly, it leaves him wondering if you'd been intertwined like that all night. Your arm is circled around his waist, leg over his hip. His own hand, now that he'd realized it, was sitting a little too low on your hip to be described as anything vaguely resembling friendly. If he turned around just a little bit more, you'd be laying on top of him in a koala bear-type hold. 

This wasn't good, it was terrible timing, and more than anything, you needed stability - a friend more than anything else right now. 

But all thoughts are gone when Bucky feels you shift underneath his arms. His arms pull you in just a little closer as the two of you continue to sleep off your days worth of insomnia.

Next Chapter

"Two Sides Of The Same Coin" Chapter List AnonymityIsFun Masterlist

[just-prime]

7 down, 1 to go

We are almost in the home stretch people. One more week, and then this literal shit show will be over

This week we had Thrawn throwing shade, our heroes are reunited, and yet another dumb half hour of chasing our tails...followed by 8 minutes of credits.

First off, these actors clearly, desperately need any sort of combat training. Because everything feels so hollow and slowed down. Ahsoka was never this slow, and yes I know this isn't animation, but if nearly 60 year old Keanu Reeves can make action believable and smooth, so can 44 year old Rosario Dawson. Or 29 year old Natasha Liu Bordizzo. Or 26 year old Eman Esfandi. No hate to these actors (on this specifically) they clearly where just not given any of the proper training to pull of any of this combat believably.

Also, why is this show obsessed with making Ahsoka a FUCKING BAD PILOT. Anakin was the one (I'm assuming) who taught her to fly...so why isn't she good at it??? Every time she gets into the cockpit things immediately go badly.

Speaking of the combat, why is every shot in that chase sequence one of the same 4 angles nevers deviating from the simple tracking shot? Why is it so BORING? They could have had fun with these little bumper cars that the little hermit crab people have. Also, I struggle to believe that a species that lives on the homeworld of the Dathomiri witches are 'peaceful' and 'unarmed' and yet haven't been wiped out eons ago. Like, it's the ewoks again, but worse, because the ewoks at least had a believable amount of weapons and traps for their carnivorous teddy bear lifestyle!

Jumping back a moment to the cold open, once again this show is making me actively route against the New Republic. Remember when the New Republic was something that was to be celebrated? A representation of how good triumphs over evil, that love wins out in the end? That a father could see the error of his ways, and give everything he has to ensure that his children get to see a world better than the one he built?

3PO showing up is just one more in the long line of lazy cameos meant to engage the children and pacify the sceptics. I think we all know that if they could get away with it, Disney would have rolled out a plastic CGI soulless version of Leia. Hopefully that will never happen. Still don't understand why they didn't just have Zeb accompany 3PO to make Leia throwing around her weight more official.

Once again, I voice my complaint at this show's refusal to acknowledge Kallus. Sabine told Ezra about Zeb and Hera, why'd Alexsandr get left out? :(

Anyway, like I said, not a ton happens.

Baylan sits back and send Shin to do his dirty work. Unclear if he is still totally on board with everything that is happening.

Ahsoka swoops in at the last minute to save Ezra and Sabine.

Thrawn says "Anakin Skywalker" and doesn't immediately ask who that was, so I am taking that as a itty-bitty win for the Thrawn Alliances fans.

Oh, and the makeup still looks like absolute dog shit.

And it is very obvious that this is all going to end on a big old fucking cliffhanger to set up the Heir to the Empire movie.

So yeah, I hate everything about this, including the fact that we now have confirmation that Sabine is at least a little force sensitive.

[gamerwoo]

[Tales from the Pack] Soonyoung: Imperfect (Part Nine)

Characters: Soonyoung x female reader

Genre/warnings: werewolf au, fantasy, fluff, mild angst but not really??, mentions of heat/rut but nothing happens

Word count: 1,846

Summary: Soonyoung has always been desperate to find his mate, often going out into town at night to fill the void of imprinting that he craves so much. Then suddenly, you (quite literally) appear in front of him. He’d always dreamed and fantasized about what having his mate would be like, but the reality is nothing like he expected.

a/n: dialogue in plain bold is korean, dialogue in plain italics and bold italics are kyung translating because i’m too lazy to say every single time she translates lmao, and whenever soonyoung says reader’s name it’s meant to be reader’s surname

Previous | Next | Imperfect Masterlist

You put it off for long enough. You avoided Soonyoung's pack for...honestly, not even that long. But it was only because you had to tell someone how you were feeling, and you felt like you could trust Kyung more than anyone. Rika would probably go to Hanbin about it, and for some reason, you felt bad feeling more drawn to Soonyoung's pack than your own. You didn't want to admit it to him or anyone else there just yet.

It was 'chore day' at the house, according to Kyung. Sundays were when the bulk of the shopping got done, more firewood was cut, deer and other animals were hunted, household projects were worked on to fix up or clean what needed it, and things of the like. Needless to say everyone was busy, which was nice because it meant it was just you and Kyung sitting at the dining table. Jia was happy to make some tea for the two of you, and then sat beside Kyung in a chair just to listen. Even if she couldn't understand you, she said just listening to your voices was entertaining for her enough.

"When you felt...drawn to Hansol's pack before...what did you do?" you asked slowly.

"Ignored it," she shrugged. "I hated him at first, remember?"

"Okay, I meant after that," you sighed.

Kyung chuckled at her little joke before she told you, "I just followed instinct. There's not much else you can do. Why, are you feeling that pull?"

"I think so... I feel guilty about it, though."

"Why?"

"My pack is all I've known since coming here," you explained. "They've been my family. I feel bad leaving..."

"They'll understand, _____," she reassured you. "We're all werewolves, we understand instincts. Nobody will be mad at you or upset with you."

"Is there even space for more people here?" you asked, gesturing around the kitchen.

Kyung laughed with a shrug, "We make do. You'll have a room and a bed, at least."

"I will?"

"Soonyoung's," she stated with a smirk, wiggling her eyebrows.

You shoved her shoulder, feeling your face immediately start to heat up. But she just laughed harder and teased you about how you were so shy about something almost everybody in your circle knew and went through.

"You're annoying," you told her, trying not to laugh.

"Some things never change," Joshua stated as he strolled into the kitchen, his shirt missing and sweat dripping down his forehead, and a sheen of it covering his torso.

"How's hunting going?" Kyung asked him as he got himself a glass of water.

Joshua chugged the whole thing before he set the glass down with a loud sigh. Then he looked at Kyung, rolling his eyes before he did so.

"Ari keeps trying to befriend the bunnies," he reported in an annoyed tone.

"Bunnies are afraid of us," Kyung stated.

Joshua's eyebrows raised, "Yeah. I know. And she's persistent."

"At least she's cute," you offered with a shrug.

"Pfft, yeah," Joshua breathed, widening his eyes for a split second like you said the craziest thing he'd ever heard before he walked back out of the kitchen.

"Are they...?"

"He loves her," Kyung promised. "Trust me, he's obsessed with her."

"Is he teaching her how to hunt?"

"Yeah, she doesn't know too much. So Josh, Ari, Soonyoung, and Chan are in charge of hunting today; Seungcheol, Jooyeon, and Mingyu are cutting wood; uh, I think Seokmin, Eunjin, Wonwoo, and Jihoon are taking care of the garden; Minghao went to the market with Jeonghan and Yeji; Soomin and Danbi are restocking the herbs and potions, and making more for the week; Jun and Sol are fixing up the porch; and I think Seungkwan and Suvi are doing laundry."

All you could do was stare back at Kyung, dumbfounded. How did she remember all that? How did she keep track of that many people?

She chuckled at your expression and shrugged, "Don't ask."

It was then that you heard the back door open and quickly slam closed before loud footsteps pounded down the hallway. Appearing in the doorway, skidding to a stop, was Soonyoung. Like Josh, he was only wearing some cotton shorts, and he was breathless and covered in sweat. Despite that, his face broke into a wide grin.

"Josh said you were here!" he chirped as he strolled into the kitchen.

"And would you imagine that: here she is," Kyung deadpanned, gesturing to you with less-than-enthusiastic jazz-hands.

Soonyoung ignored her, crouching down in front of you. You looked down at him with a curious look, wide eyes searching Soonyoung's face as he continued to beam back at you. He babbled on excitedly, one hand holding the side of the back of your chair. You could make out some of it, catching things like 'beautiful' and 'missed you' and 'good day' and 'hungry'.

There was no end in sight to his words, and nobody else was saying anything. Kyung was staring at him like he was speaking a different language, and Jia seemed to be giggling silently to herself, resting her hands atop her cane in front of her. Your eyes stayed on Soonyoung, drifting to his lips in hopes that maybe if you could see the words he was saying, you'd understand him better.

But then you had another thought. No, more like an instinct.

You leaned forward and pressed the softest, chaste kiss to his lips, and it promptly silenced the alpha. His eyes widened, his lips still in a slight pout from catching your lips, and then the tips of his ears turned red and he started grinning all over again.

Kyung burst into laughter, and Jia started chuckling.

"That's one way to do it," she said.

"Did you even catch all of that?" Kyung wondered between laughs.

You shook your head with a shrug, "No, it just... I wanted to, I guess."

"You guess," she repeated teasingly, rolling her eyes. She clicked her tongue as you began absentmindedly playing with Soonyoung's hair since he was still crouching beside you. His eyes closed as he let out a content hum, and Kyung smirked to herself. "Do you also guess that's instinct?"

You shrugged in reply, not wanting to give a verbal answer since you were getting flustered again. It really was instinct, though. At least, you assumed it was. You just wanted to touch him.

"I wonder how you'll be during your hea--"

The way your eyes widened and your head snapped to look at the older girl, she stopped her sentence and evilly giggled. Soonyoung felt your fingers freeze and he opened his eyes again, looking up at you like a confused puppy.

You hadn't even thought about that yet. One would figure mating season was what would cross your mind eventually, but it never did. You were too caught up in the cute, fluffy feelings you were feeling to remember to worry about a plan for your heat.

Or his rut. God, you didn't even know when that would happen!

"Don't you even," you threatened.

"It's something you'll have to deal with eventually, _____," she reminded you.

"My last one was right before I came back," you told her, your fingers starting to play with Soonyoung's hair again. "I'll be fine for a while."

"And what if you still can't completely understand him by the time the next one comes around?" she wondered, seeming genuinely curious despite the teasing look on her face. "Or what if his happens first?"

You shrugged, deciding to ignore the anxiety until you were alone and could sort through your thoughts without the possibility of your mate catching onto what you were saying, "I'll figure it out."

"How? Because I'm sure as hell not translating," she scoffed.

You took a deep breath and let it out, trying to decide how to answer Kyung. But before you could, Soonyoung's eyes shot open.

“Oh, _____,” he looked up at you with hopeful eyes and the traces of a smile on his face. Then he asked you something that you didn’t understand, blinking back at you as you sat in silence.

So you turned to Kyung.

She laughed softly and said, “He asked when you’re moving in.”

Your eyes widened, taken aback by the bluntness of his question. Were you expected to move in since you were mates, or did he know you felt the pull? Did he feel you becoming a part of his pack?

“Since he’s an alpha, you’d integrate into his pack,” she explained. “It’s just how instinct works.”

“But...you’re an alpha.”

“I wasn’t when Jiung was around, and Hanbin became the alpha anyway. I didn’t become an alpha until I accepted this pack because I wasn’t meant to be the alpha for that pack.”

“But why did you get pulled into this pack?” you wondered, wanting to understand the logic behind it.

Then again, not all werewolf instinct had logic to it. Sometimes it was just speculation.

“When two non-alphas from different packs imprint, it’s kind of a 50/50 chance on who will integrate into the other’s pack,” she shrugged. “I guess that’s up to fate. And fate would have it that I was meant to be an alpha for this pack.”

“_____?” Soonyoung tried to pull your attention back to him, resting a hand on your thigh.

Your heart jumped into your chest, and you felt a jolt of electricity in your lower stomach. It was a feeling you were familiar with, but not one that you’d ever had because of Soonyoung. It was...weird. And it made your face feel hot again.

“Yeah, answer the question, _____,” Kyung said with a shit-eating grin.

You tried to ignore her, staying focused on Soonyoung, “Um...why?”

He shrugged and replied. Kyung translated.

“Because you’re in my pack now. You have to be. You joined when you accepted me.”

“I don’t remember telling you I accept.”

Your statement was more so meant to be playful, but Soonyoung already had a rebuttal, smirking widely.

“I just felt it.”

Kyung made a face and stuck her tongue out like she wanted to gag before saying, “You’re too gross for me, Soon.”

But you ignored her, asking, “How does that work?”

He just shrugged before prompting you again.

“Move in. We have the space.”

“Do you?” you snorted.

He nodded.

“We’ll make space.”

“Where?”

“My bedroom,” he stated matter-of-factly and without any sort of smirk of bat of an eyelash. He wasn’t trying to make a move or be silly. He was dead-serious.

Kyung, however, did smirk, “Told ya.”

You wanted to ask her what you should do, but you knew what she would tell you. On top of that, there only seemed to be one answer. Your instincts were telling you what to do, and all you could do was follow them. It would be pointless sticking around with a pack you didn’t belong in, even if you did love them. It wasn’t like you wouldn’t see them ever again.

“Okay,” you finally decided.

Soonyoung’s smile matched the sun as he nodded and said, “Okay.”

»»————-　　————-««

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[barbiegirldream]

i hate how callous people are. whenever i see news of someones suicide and all i see are vague empty gestures like "make sure you check up on your loved ones" or "RIP he was amazing" i want to fall to my knees and rip my hair out and cry at the injustice that people are so desperate and sad that they take their own lives but it seems no one gives a fuck. its just something to scroll by on social media. same as the literal genocide of thousands of people dying writing their names on their hands so they can be remembered as their fucking name and no one gives a fuck. its always prioritize your mental health and curate what you see :( don't doomscroll well fuck shut the fuck up and feel something for once. you need to see this and you need to feel it. dont rid your fucking soul only caring about yourself

like she was telling me this is why she hates talking politics because it upsets people. and i assume she's never going to speak to me again because I told her I didn't love her enough to disregard the suffering of other people for her comfort and peace of mind. And that her moral compass matters more to me than how her day at work went. I think it's actually incomprehensible that some people don't see human life as anything more than party lines and opinions.