maggstar · 2 years ago
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Finished playing Plague Tale Requiem and sobbing tears rn. I love games with amazing stories, but these ones always hit home. 😭
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naeviskz · 8 months ago
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genre. idol!hyunjin x model!f!reader | established relationship
words. 1.5k+ tags/warnings. angst, fluff (towards the end), smut, accusations of cheating, hj is lowkey toxic (but we love it hehe), cunnilingus, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, some mentions of crying, not proofread
this has been in my drafts for years and i finally finished it bc i was tired of seeing it LMAO. btw the position i’m referring to is this (nsfw link), i usually hate vids but this was rlly good imo.
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“i think we should take a break...” you admit, voice growing shakier as you spoke. this was never something you wish to say in a million years, you wanted this relationship to work more than anything. but you were at your wits end with everything, talking to hyunjin was like conversing with the wall, never truly grasping any of your concerns.
you noticed the cracks beginning to seep in the midst of six months of being with him. he would often be dishonest of his whereabouts, saying he was out late due to “work” but was actually out drinking at some bar with chan or something. it made no sense for him to lie about such trivial things but he does it without even thinking. this was supposed to be a lovely vacation in paris together but lately you’ve grown tired of feeling like you’re unappreciated. a break from each other might be the best solution in getting his act together once and for all.
hyunjin felt his whole body turn limp as you uttered those words. not only was he blindsided by your decision, but you never indicated before to him that you were ready to propose such a drastic idea. “but why though? don’t you think this is a bit random? i mean this came out of nowhere ___, i thought everything was good between us, why are you suddenly saying this now?” his thick, bushy brows furrowed in confusion, he wasn’t letting you off this easy and you know it.
“i just think it’s for the better right now hyune, we’re both so busy. we have a lot on our plate, especially you… and this relationship is just— it’s only putting more strain on everythi-”
“are you serious ___? do you hear yourself? i knew what i was getting myself into the day i asked you to be my girlfriend. i’m well aware that i can���t be with you 24/7, and neither can you—however, i don’t expect that anyway. all i ever wanted was to have you by my side, i want to work through the hardships with you but if you’re so willing to give up like this then… i don’t know. i don’t even know what to say to this honestly..” hyunjin couldn’t help but cut you off, once his emotions take over, all sense of logic and reasoning is thrown out the window.
he was never one to question his worth in the eyes of his partner, but you were his longest relationship, he saw you as his first and only true love. it never occurred to him that he could lose you, the possibility of this break lasting long enough to make your love fade away was a scary revelation. there had to be a way he could fix this, he couldn’t bear to be without you.
“are you seeing someone else? maybe that’s why you’ve been so distant towards me lately…” he wanted to scream for saying that out loud but at least he got it off his chest. he knows how petty it sounds but he didn’t care, he wanted you to give him answers.
“no! i’m not seeing other people, i don’t have an interest in anyone but you hyunjin. i want to do this for the sake of us, we’re clearly not where we need to be and this break could help with getting us back on track and spending time apart could be beneficial.” you try your best to articulate your words properly but he remained unconvinced, he wasn’t on board with any bit of this.
how could you even be okay with something like this? spending time away from you drove him absolutely insane, he couldn’t fathom taking a break—not from someone as important as you in his life. he just needed to remind you that the love was still there, though it may be but a dull flame, he could ignite the spark again, with the little bit of hope he had left.
the foundation of your relationship was built from shared interests, since you both are part of professions that rely heavily on looks, you refused to see each other based solely off those superficial aspects. instead you got to know each other’s minds, your core values and beliefs, what mattered to you the most. you cherished every one of those deep conversations you shared together, it was a beautiful experience, an indescribable memory that shaped your bond forever.
so why is it now that you feel this way? was he really that oblivious to everything? he should’ve done more to prevent this but now he fears it’s too late. he’s faced with the conundrum of losing you and there wasn’t much time for him to stall or ask for a chance of redemption, he couldn’t waste another second.
“fuck that,” hyunjin angrily spat, his face contorting into a look of pure disgust. “you’re not going anywhere.” he reaches out to grab your waist before you could walk away, aggressively pulling you into his chest.
no matter how much you attempt to escape his hold, he’s not letting you go in the slightest. he’s much stronger than you, could easily lift you up without breaking a sweat. there was no use in fighting, you had no choice but to give in and let this conversation go. once his lips crashed into yours, everything faded to black. as if a simple kiss was the cure-all of mending this decrepit relationship.
hyunjin’s forehead pressed against yours as he pulled away, “shhh, lye down baby,” he hushes your quiet mewls, instructing you to do as he says. “gonna make you feel so good,” his hands slid under your skirt, gently rubbing over your clothed slit “you’ll forget everything.”
* :.・゚゚・ ✿
“oh my- fuckk, hyunjin!” you cry out, almost on the verge of tears just from how skilled he is, rutting your hips upwards into his mouth as he devours you whole.
the pace of his tongue is relentless, roughly lapping up all your juices like he’s the most starved man alive. you’ve lost count at the amount of times he’s already made you come undone just from his mouth alone. your body’s buzzing with titillation, all you can do is scream and clench your pussy around nothing while he fiercely sucks on your clit.
you couldn’t stop twitching, feeling yet another orgasm approaching. your legs anchored over his shoulders, unable to think or speak coherent sentences as his face was fully buried into your dewy cunt. he relaxes his jaw a bit more, going all the way from the bottom inching further up as he comes back in contact with your puffy clit. at any given moment it feels as if your heart’s about to stop.
“hyunjin-” your heads thrown back into the pillow, digging your nails into his shoulder blades from how overly sensitive you are. “n-need to cum.. can feel it. m’so close.” it surprises you when you’re able to even express such words.
a low grunt can be heard underneath, hyunjin loves hearing you— it’s arguably the best part about going down on you. the hand that wasn’t occupied went straight to gripping a fistful of his ebony hair, continuously moaning his name so loud that you genuinely feel bad for whomever the unlucky people that got to hear this.
just when you thought it couldn’t get anymore intense, he slips 2 of his slender fingers inside, making you gasp from the overwhelming sensation. flashes of white invade your vision, violently shaking as your lips form an “o” in the throes of ecstasy. hyunjin knows your body so well that this is nothing for him, he’s got it all down to a simple science. no one knows your body like he does, and especially no one can make you cum as hard as he can.
“go ahead, make a mess for me baby,” he strongly encourages, picking up his pace as his digits fuck into you faster. “just gonna clean it up with my tongue all over again.”
your eyes roll back to the depths of oblivion, feeling an out of body experience when reaching your climax. a slew of curses leave your shaky breath, limbs trembling and faint tears stain your flushed cheeks. hyunjin slows his movements, rubbing his thumb over your clit gently to make you even more sensitive. you love the way he calls you “good girl” and how proud the look on his face becomes while you ride out your orgasm on his fingers. he doesn’t stop showering you with compliments, only ramping up his affection as he plants fleeting kisses to your thighs, hips, and tummy.
once he’s finally come back up for air you grab his face to pull him into your lips again. moaning in his mouth while getting a taste of yourself was probably the hottest thing hyunjin’s ever witnessed.
“can’t believe you’re all mine.” hyunjin whispers against you, gently massaging your aching thighs. “i love you so much baby.”
“love you too hyune.” you instantly say back, feeling more at ease now that things are somewhat back to normal.
maybe a break isn’t necessary after all, how else would you be able to have such earth shattering orgasms?
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- 完 ♡︎
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1-800-hwahui · 2 years ago
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match of the season
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member — college student radio host!junhui x f student!reader genre  —  smut, fluff, humor word count — 7.3k warnings — virgin!jun, shy clueless jun, fr that man does not know a single thing but it's endearing in a silly way, top!reader bot!jun (but no real dom/sub dynamics, more like reader leads until jun figures out how to take over), unprotected sex, jun big cock agenda, VOICE KINK (listen. you all knew it was coming), so much dirty talk, lots of consent bc it is very sexy, riding, little bit of dry humping?, mentions of an iud/birth control, jun is implied taller than reader (maybe size kink but only if you take it that way), jeonghan cameo and he's a menace, lots of fluff at the end (but also kinda throughout), please lmk if i missed any warnings! notes — this is a nsfw sequel to a sfw fic on my main writing blog @junekissed called sounds of the season, which is part of my series of winter-themed fics! if you haven't already, i would highly recommend reading that before reading this, since the stories are pretty closely connected. thanks to @onlymingyus for reading over this for me <3 i hope you all enjoy this as much as you enjoyed the first part. also like i said in part 1 i have no idea how radio works so if it doesn't make sense just roll with it lmao
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you’re just putting the last finishing touches on your final paper when your phone buzzes. you glance down, grinning when you see junhui’s name on the screen.
unable to hide the butterflies in your stomach, you press a button to accept the call. “hi, junnie.”
“oh! hi,” his voice plays through your speaker with a giggle. “hey, i like that. ‘junnie’. do you want a nickname? but your name is so pretty, i don’t wanna change it–”
“whatever you want is fine,” you say, trying to hold back a smile. god, he’s cute.
“okay. i’ll think about it. oh, wait, yeah!” he says suddenly, as if he’s just remembered why he’s calling. “jeonghan left town early this week so it’s just me in the studio today, and it’s our last show of the semester. so anyway, do you wanna come over?” he stops, stumbling over his words. “well, not like, come over come over, i mean, we can just hang out, i–”
“give me half an hour,” you laugh, endeared by his eagerness.
“yay!” he cheers, and you shake your head with a smile.
half an hour later, a text pops up on jun’s phone, alerting him that you’re waiting outside the building. he leaps out of his chair, an excited grin on his face as he flings open the door and dashes downstairs to let you in.
he’s out of breath by the time he reaches the communications lab door, leaning on the push bar to let you in. “sorry, forgot they locked it already,” he pants.
“it’s fine,” you giggle. “so… everyone else is gone?”
he nods. “yeah, mr. choi said as long as i don’t mess with anything he’ll let me close by myself, so they all left early for break.”
you smile and hold out your hand for him to take, and he beams, hastily grabbing your hand and lacing his fingers with yours.
he leads you up the stairs to the sound booth, squeezing your hand the whole way.
it’s your second time being in the school’s recording studio, but the feeling is still new and exciting. you definitely understand now what jun meant when he said being around all the equipment is a lot of fun.
once inside, he shuts the heavy door with a click, locking the door and flipping on the “on air” light. not that anyone could get in anyway, but it’s a habit he doesn’t want to accidentally get out of before he comes back next semester.
he slides in front of the computer for a second, queueing another song so he has more time to grab what he’s designated as “your chair”; the comfiest one in the studio, according to him.
he pulls it over next to his chair and pats the cushion for you to sit. you giggle and plop down on the seat, scooching closer to him once he’s sat in his own chair.
he raises his eyebrows at you with a grin, then clears his throat and moves closer to the microphone as the song ends to do his job.
ever since you accidentally admitted to him that you like the way his voice sounds, he’s teased you about it—or at least, attempted to tease you about it. he's too sweet for his own good, so even when he tries to poke fun at you it comes out like a compliment.
he presses the red button and begins to talk. “that was one of the classics, ‘a holly jolly christmas’ by burl ives. coming up next, another favorite, ‘the christmas song’ by michael bublé, and more great songs on your favorite program: 111.7fm’s sounds of the season.”
he lets go of the button and sits back in his chair, spinning it around to face you as the slow music starts softly playing. “hi,” he says shyly. “did you like that?”
you smile. it’s a little bit of an odd question, but you’ve started to understand his awkwardness; he just needs a little encouragement. “i always like it. you’re really good at this.”
“i like it a lot,” he grins back, bouncing his head in excitement. “can i kiss you now?”
you laugh at his enthusiasm but nod, leaning forward to press your lips to his. he sighs into your mouth, his hands falling naturally to your waist. for supposedly not going out much, jun is really, really good at kissing, you’ve quickly learned over the last few days. how he got so good at it, you may never know, but the feeling of him pressed against you is too perfect to waste time questioning why.
despite being surrounded by the cold, metal recording equipment, the sound of michael bublé’s crooning voice and the gentle warmth of junhui’s lips makes the studio feel like the coziest place on earth.
his hands tug at your waist and you slide easily out of your chair and onto his lap, sitting sideways across his legs, never breaking the kiss.
he pulls away for a second, his cheeks dusted with pink. “let me… put the playlist on,” he says, his voice a little breathier than usual. 
you hum in confusion, attention still focused on the curve of his lips and the little noises he makes when he’s kissing you. “what playlist?”
he laughs. “for the show. so we can keep doing… this, and not have to worry.”
“wait, so you mean, not all of it is live?”
he shakes his head. “almost all of it is, but there’s a backup playlist in case we get busy and can’t sit around pressing buttons for the whole hour. i used it a couple weeks ago when i had to finish my chem paper.”
he spins the chair around, facing you both in front of the computer screen and tapping a few buttons on the keyboard. he turns a dial on the soundboard and the background music in the studio gets lower, so quiet you need to strain to hear it.
he hums, and your attention turns away from the machinery and back to his eager smile.
“can i kiss you again?” he asks softly.
you giggle and put your hands around his neck. “you don’t have to ask every time.”
so he’s pushing his lips on yours again, kissing you like you’re the most delicate thing in the world.
and that’s when you feel it. the butterflies deep in your stomach that make you want to do things no person should be doing in a school building.
he pulls away for a second to catch his breath. “you’re so pretty,” he says dreamily, and you hate the way it immediately sends shivers down your spine, landing directly at your core. 
you hold back a whimper and shift the way you’re sitting, moving so each leg is on either side of his legs, straddling his lap.
he pushes his mouth against yours, hands gently kneading your hips. your fingers dance beneath the bottom of his shirt, fingernails gliding over the warm, soft skin of his stomach and feeling his abs contract at your touch.
“wait,” he whimpers, and you pull back immediately, taking your hands off of him and putting them on your thighs.
“do you want me to stop?” you ask quietly. shit, you hope you haven’t completely ruined this by going too fast.
“no!” he nearly shouts, looking panicked, then clears his throat. “no,” he repeats. “i don’t want you to stop. i’m, just…” he trails off, avoiding your gaze.
“you can tell me, junnie,” you say gingerly, wanting him to be comfortable.
“i know,” he whines. “i’m… embarrassed,” he says, voice small.
“i’m not going to laugh at you,” you say softly.
“i’m not– i haven’t–” he freezes. you give him a small smile that you hope looks encouraging, and it must be, because he sighs and starts again. “i’m a… virgin,” he says, barely above a whisper.
“oh! that’s all?” you ask, taking his hand and threading your fingers in between his. he looks up at you, trying (and failing) to hide the surprise in his expression. “you don’t need to be embarrassed. everybody has a first time.”
you pause, not wanting to force him into doing this if he really isn’t ready. you don’t care, you have plenty of ways of getting yourself off if he wants to wait longer. because you are willing to wait. “we don’t have to now, junnie,” you say. “i’ll wait as long as you want me to.”
“i want to now,” he says quickly, shaking his head. “i just… don’t know what to do,” he mumbles.
“that’s fine,” you whisper, bringing your other hand up to his face and kissing his cheek tenderly. “we’ll go slow, and you tell me what you want.”
he hesitates, then tentatively places his hands on your waist, still holding your hands. “i want to kiss you again.”
you smile. “i can do that.”
and you lean back in, pressing your lips to his. gently at first, until he grips your waist a little harder and starts kissing you a little deeper. you let him get used to it, allowing him to set the pace he wants.
testing the waters, you push down on his lap a little, starting to grind lightly on his crotch. he whimpers and tugs at your hips to help you, beginning to fall into a steady rhythm. 
you stay like this for a while, leisurely making out on his lap, for longer than you normally would with someone else. but this isn’t someone else, this is junhui, and you’re more than content going as slow as he wants. plus, all this is just making you wetter and wetter as time goes on, riling you up the more you think about what’s to come later.
you can feel him getting harder underneath you, and you moan into him, eagerly but patiently waiting for him. his hands climb up your back, hooking around your shoulders and pulling you almost completely flush with his chest.
he pulls away after a minute, lips red and puffy from the contact and breathing hard. “don’t– you need a c-condom, when… so you, don’t get pregnant?” he stutters out, struggling to get the words out and to stop from bucking his hips against you.
“i have an iud, it’s alright,” you say, also panting for breath.
“okay.” he exhales and leans back, letting go of your hips.
you look at him in confusion at his sudden pause. “why…?”
he stares at you. “uh, don’t you have to go put it in? or did you do that before you got here?”
you snort. “my iud? no, it’s in all the time. it doesn’t come out.” 
“oh,” he says, his cheeks flushing pink. “sorry, i didn’t know–”
“it’s okay, junnie. don’t apologize,” you say, trying your hardest to hold back a laugh. poor sweet, oblivious junhui. you’re not laughing at him, you’re laughing at how adorably clueless he is. you find yourself hoping you might be the one to help him understand these things, if he wants you to.
“have you… before?” he asks shyly, avoiding your eyes again.
you pause, knowing he’s already embarrassed and trying to answer him as gently as possible. “yes,” you say finally, and his face droops a little at your response. “but that doesn’t mean anything. it’s my first time with you, too, so we’re learning about each other. that’s all it is. so just… don’t think about it, okay? the only thing i’m thinking about right now is you.”
his cheeks are a deep shade of pink, but he nods. you take his hands carefully and put them at the hem of your shirt, guiding him to pull it up and over your head. you unclasp your bra and turn around to toss it over to your chair.
“now your turn,” you say gently, looking up at his eyes, which are still focused on your boobs.
“ju-un,” you murmur in a sing-song voice, and his eyes snap back to your face. “do you want to keep going?” 
“yeah,” he chokes out. “i mean– yes. yes, please.”
you coo at his manners, moving off of his lap to wiggle your pants down your legs. his eyes are completely transfixed on your body, admiring every inch of you that he can see.
“do you want to now?” you ask, and he nods rapidly. he stands up and throws his shirt off, and his pants are quick to follow until he’s sitting back in his chair in only his boxers. the lines of his stomach seem even more defined in the low light of the studio, and you so desperately want to run your hands up and down his torso, and feel every inch of him, but– one thing at a time.
you slide your panties off and go back to your position straddling his lap. “is this okay?” you ask again.
“mhm,” he hums lowly, and you feel it deep in your abdomen, walls clenching around nothing at the sound.
his eyes dart around your face, and you reach up to run your fingers through his hair, tucking it gently behind his ear. “are you ready?” you ask softly.
his eyes widen, and he springs into action, his hands flying to your waist again. “oh! okay, yes, yes, um…”
you try not to giggle at his enthusiasm. you trail your hand carefully down to the waistband of his shorts, slipping the tip of your finger inside the elastic. “you have to take this off, junnie,” you whisper.
“mm, okay,” he whines, and you lift up a little so he can slide them down without standing up. he kicks them off and you sit back down, looking down to see what you’re working with. now that he’s fully hard, you can see that he’s… big, much bigger than you expected from a man this shy.
but who are you to judge, so you adjust on his lap, sitting up to reach below you and take his cock in your hand, positioning it at your entrance. he whimpers at the contact as you slowly drag his tip through your folds, spreading your wetness around. 
“you just sit here and let me do all the work, baby, okay?” you hum, gripping his shoulder with your other hand. “let me make you feel good, hm?”
he lets out a garbled noise in response, barely comprehending your words at how engrossed he is with the way you’re holding his cock so delicately, waiting to push it inside and finally feel you.
“junnie, need you to use your words, honey,” you say gently, moving the hand on his shoulder to lightly cup his jaw, lifting his chin so his gaze lands on your face. “you have to tell me if you don’t like something or you wanna do something different, okay?
“i wanna do you,” he says, staring blankly into your eyes, and that’s when you know he’s already gone.
you giggle. “i know, baby. you’re going to. but you have to talk to me.”
“‘cause you like my voice.”
you resist the urge to cringe, still embarrassed that that’s the thing he remembers about you. “yes, i do, but no, that's not why. you need to tell me if you want to stop, at any time, and we’ll stop, okay?”
hearing your tone get serious, he seems to snap out of it a little. “okay,” he whimpers. “can i…?”
he trails off, and you shake your head. you know he’s shy, but you can’t let him off the hook every single time, or else he’ll never learn. “can you what, honey? use your words.”
by now the tips of his ears have turned red, and he’s beginning to lose control, his hips starting to grind against you involuntarily. “can i… fuck you?” he rasps.
“of course you can,” you coo, slipping your hand behind his neck and kissing him gently. “good job, baby.”
he mewls at the praise, and you finally start to sink down on his cock. it burns at first with how girthy he is, but soon the stretch feels good, and you have to fight to keep yourself upright on his lap, soft whimpers escaping your lips.
he groans, throwing his head back against the back of his chair, his grip on your waist tightening. it takes some time, but you finally sit all the way down on his lap, legs splayed on either side of his hips.
immediately he thrusts up into you hard, and you yelp, pushing on his shoulders to get him to stop. “wait!” you pant, squeezing your eyes shut in pain. “just… wait a second first.”
“s-sorry,” he whines, his adam’s apple bobbing with each labored breath.
“s’okay,” you breathe, beginning to adjust to the feeling of his thick cock throbbing inside you. “you’re… big, gotta– gotta give me a second, oh my god.”
he hums absently, clearly pleased with your response, but he manages to stop moving for a little bit.
you sit still on top of him, your muscles gradually beginning to relax as you get used to the feeling.
he sighs, his hands sliding up your back, caressing your skin beneath his fingertips.  “feels so good, just wanna… fuck, just wanna be inside you forever.”
you would be surprised at the sudden lewdness of his words, if you weren’t so focused on the way the tone of his voice has abruptly dropped an octave. he’s starting to get more comfortable, you can tell, and you won’t lie: it’s dangerous for you.
“can– are you okay now?” he asks, eyes focused back on your face again.
“mhm,” you manage, letting out a short exhale. you start to wind your hips in circles, bouncing slowly on his lap as his hands roam your body, touching every inch of you as if he’s trying to memorize every last curve.
it’s a gentle pace; although much too slow for you, you’re hoping it’s just right for junhui to start out with. you’re not used to being on top, so you’re doing your best to keep up, but your thigh is starting to cramp from the position you’ve been sitting in and having to do the work yourself.
he must notice your discomfort, because his hands fall back down to their place at your waist, kneading your skin as he lifts his hips against you in rhythm.
“can i take over?” he mumbles, voice breathy. “please, let me, please.”
“yes, please,” you sigh, your head falling forward to rest on his chest. his skin is burning hot beneath your cheek, and you exhale, closing your eyes from exhaustion.
as soon as you relax and stop moving your hips, his own start moving immediately, your surprised cry punctuated by hard thrusts up into you, over and over again.
you’re still trying to figure out where the hell he got all this stamina from when he starts murmuring in your ear, sweet, dirty whispers as he pounds into you from below.
“you’re so… beautiful, oh my god,” he says in the low voice you’re still struggling to get used to hearing come out of his mouth. “you’re so good, wanna have you like this forever, please–”
“jun, ke–keep talking, please,” you whimper, squeezing your eyes shut in pleasure.
“you like my voice, but you sound so pretty right now,” he groans. “you should hear yourself. wanna hear you cry and make you feel so good, wanna hear you– god, wanna fuck you like this all day and never stop.”
you let out a moan, his words going straight through you. the rumble in his chest as he speaks reverberates against your head. 
the combination of his brutal pace along with the innocently filthy words from his mouth brings you right up to the edge, and you feel the knot in your abdomen tightening.
you shift a little, moving up so you can wrap your arms around his neck, hiding your face in the crook of his neck.
his hips falter for half a second at the contact, but he recovers quickly, wrapping his long arms around you and pressing you flush against his chest, jerking you up and down on his cock with fervor.
“you’re so pretty, you’re so beautiful, you’re so perfect,” he babbles, somehow remembering to keep talking you through everything. “love you so much– fuck, thank you, you’re so amazing, you’re so–”
you almost miss the four-letter word that slips out in between his praises, but it rings through your ears, nestling itself in your heart. you decide to ignore it for now, too focused on chasing your rapidly approaching high, but you promise yourself you’ll talk to him after this is all over and figure out what this is between you two.
you whine, breath catching in your throat as your own words tumble out of you in a constant stream. “keep going, jun, please– keep going, so close, please, junnie please, need you–”
“are you gonna cum? you’re so perfect, please cum for me, please, baby, lemme hear you.”
“fuck, yes!” and with that you’re catapulting over the edge with a sob, clenching around his cock as your orgasm slams into you.
he keeps thrusting into you, not once stuttering as he fucks you through your high, content to keep going and going and going until–
“jun,” you call out weakly, head swirling as you try to sit up. “jun. jun, you can s-slow down.”
his hips begin to stop, slowing down until he’s gently rocking you back and forth on his lap. “did you cum already?” he asks in surprise. like a dork.
you choke out a laugh, head lolling as your arms loosen around his neck. “yeah. yeah, i did.”
“oh.”
if you weren’t so exhausted already, you would burst out laughing. “you’ll figure it out,” you wheeze, hoping it sounds reassuring. 
he starts to move his arms to let go of you, still wrapped around your torso, but you whine and he freezes.
“just… stay here first,” you say, letting your eyes fall shut for a second.
“why?”
you sigh. “because it’s nice.”
“oh,” he says again. he settles back into the chair, holding you on his lap, arms wrapped around you, just sitting quietly.
after a few more seconds of peace you pull yourself upright, pushing your hands against his chest.
“ …what now?” he asks quietly, eyes finding your face.
“you didn’t cum yet, right?” you say. he hums out a no. “then we keep going.”
he yelps in surprise when you start to lift yourself off his lap, his still-hard cock slipping out of you, now soaked in your juices. “don’t we have to wait for you?”
you fight the urge to slap your hand over your forehead. “i can cum more than once, honey. we don’t need to wait,” you say with the straightest face you can muster.
he nods, taking in this clearly unheard of information.
“do you want me to suck you off?” you ask, bringing his attention back to you.
“wh-what?” he stutters, face turning red, clearly not expecting it.
you take in a deep breath. “where do you want to finish?” you try instead, thinking it might help him decide.
“where will you let me?” he replies, wide eyes searching yours as if it’s a trick question designed to make him fail and you’re hiding the answer somewhere in your tender gaze.
“wherever you want, junnie.”
he pauses, like he’s making sure you aren’t lying to him. “can–” he clears his throat and starts again, more sure of himself. “i have an, um… idea.”
“mhm,” you breathe, watching him expectantly.
“do you think i could, maybe… stand up? and, have– you, over the…” he trails off, gesturing to the empty table beside you and hoping you’ll understand what he’s trying to say.
“you want to bend me over and fuck me on the table?” you translate for him, blinking.
instantly his cheeks flare, the shyness returning. “well, i… i. no, um, uh–”
“you can say yes, junnie. it’s hot.”
“you think so?” he squeaks in shock.
you giggle. “yes. you can do whatever you want to, just ask me first.”
his face breaks out into a wide grin. “okay. will you please, um, follow me?” he asks, holding out his arm like a waiter leading you to a table at a restaurant. if he wasn’t so damn cute you definitely would’ve smacked him by now.
you finally move off of his lap and step away, giving him room to move from his chair. you’d forgotten how big he is until he stands up, towering over you, and it sends an involuntary shiver down your spine. he turns and starts walking away, expecting you to follow him.
you laugh and grab his arm, pulling him back. when he looks at you in curiosity, you take his large hands and place them on your waist, motioning for him to guide you.
his mouth falls into an ‘o’ and he follows your lead, pushing you by your hips over to the table.
he stands behind you, caging you in against the table with his tall frame but otherwise not doing anything. you glance over your shoulder at him, nodding in approval.
his hands leave your waist and ever so gently press on your lower back to tilt you over. you comply, letting him move you how he wants.
“is that good?” he asks softly.
“it’s great,” you say, wiggling your ass playfully. “good job asking.”
he hums, so low it’s more like a growl, and it sends another shiver down your spine. at this angle you can feel his dick pressed against your ass, hard and throbbing.
he grinds against you, dragging his cock up and down your hole. you know he’s not doing it intentionally to tease you—you’re not even sure if he’s capable of that—but it does plenty to rile you up.
“junnie, please?” you gasp out, writhing your hips in search of friction, anything. his grip tightens on you, stilling your movements.
“what do i do?” he whispers.
“put it in,” you whisper back, unable to stop the giggle that slips out. he whines in annoyance, so you stop, giving him real advice this time. “just go slow. you can do it, baby.”
you angle your ass up, hoping to give him better access to your dripping hole. he’s already been inside you once, so surely he can find it again… right?
your expectations are clearly too high, because suddenly you feel his tip pressing in between your ass cheeks, and he’s—
you yelp, and he freezes, his hands flying off of you. you reach behind and stick your index finger into your pussy, using the rest of your fingers to spread your folds apart so he can see. “this one, baby.” at least he was going slow, like you said.
“oh! sorry, i’m so sorry,” he mumbles, and even without looking you already know he’s redder than a tomato. 
“jun. don’t apologize. it’s okay,” you say softly. you move your hand away from your pussy and reach it out to him, craning your neck to see him. you wave your fingers at him, and he takes your hand, automatically twining his fingers with yours. it makes you smile. “just go for it, honey.”
“okay,” he breathes, and he starts slowly pushing into you again (the right one this time).
tiny gasps fall from your lips as you feel him fill you up again, stuffing you with his cock, inch by careful inch. once he bottoms out you exhale, letting out the breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding in.
when you don’t feel any more movement, you realize he’s stopped, waiting. you almost whine at how cute and considerate he is, but instead you just squeeze his hand. “baby, you can move.”
“okay,” he says again, and pulls out carefully before slowly pushing back in.
you moan as he starts to increase his pace, rapidly pumping into you as his hips smack against your ass. you arch your back a little, trying to angle him in deeper. each powerful thrust pushes you against the table, your hip bones hitting the edge in a way that’ll definitely leave bruises. but you can’t bring yourself to care when junhui’s thick cock is thrusting into you like his life depends on it. 
still holding onto his hand, you slip your other hand down to run your fingers over your clit, rubbing small circles. you can feel the pressure in your abdomen growing, and—
“fuck, you’re so tight,” jun groans, voice thick with need, and he begins pushing into you even harder than before, something you didn’t even think could be possible. you whine and move your hand from your clit back to the edge of the table to stop yourself from ramming into it.
he notices your elbow bent at an awkward angle to protect yourself, so he lets go of your hand and snakes around your stomach to pull you back so you’re standing upright, both his arms wrapped securely around your body. “feels so good… god, wish i had done this sooner, you’re so amazing, so perfect, for me.”
you whimper at his words, unintentionally clenching around him. “jun,” you cry out softly.
“fuck, baby, say my name again– please, like that, baby, please say it, again,” he begs you, fingers pressing into your skin that you’re sure will leave you covered in little oval-shaped bruises by the time he’s done.
“jun! please, i’m so close, jun,” you moan, repeating his name over and over again like a mantra, getting closer and closer to your release with each syllable.
“i’m cl-close too, baby, please… you’re so good, fuck! you’re so good.”
the constant praise is almost too much, and with one more sharp thrust you’re coming undone on his cock for the second time. your legs wobble as you struggle to stay standing, your hands coming up to hang on to junhui’s strong arms wrapped around you for support.
he whines loudly, and you know he must be getting close, too. “can i– can i cum on your back?” he pants out, still gripping you tightly. as much as he really, really wants to cum inside you, he figures it might be messier than cumming on you. and besides, he doesn’t want to get too greedy; it is only his first, after all.
“yes! yes please, yes, jun,” you manage, still wading through the aftershocks of your orgasm.
a little harder than he intends, he’s shoving you roughly down onto the table again, pulling his dick out of you to jerk himself over you.
“junnie, please,” you whimper out weakly, and the sweet sounding words on your lips have him choking back a sob as he cums, thick spurts of white painting your lower back.
he keeps moving his hand on his cock until he’s completely finished, panting heavily. by the time he’s done you’re both sticky with sweat, breathing like you’ve just run a marathon.
you let out a long sigh, feeling exhausted but satisfied. silence settles over the studio, the music long stopped, but you can’t tell if it’s a good silence or a bad silence.
you realize you’d closed your eyes while jun was cumming, and when you don’t feel his touch anymore, you slowly pry them open again, wondering where he went. 
you prop your head up in your hands and look behind you to see jun hastily pulling on his boxers and jeans. 
your jaw drops in horror. you’d thought, with his inexperience, he wouldn’t be like all the other guys who fuck and then take off, but apparently, you thought wrong.
“jun!”
his head whips around as he pulls his zipper up, eyes wide like a deer in headlights.
“are you seriously gonna just leave?”
his mouth falls open. “no! of course not! i was just putting my pants back on.”
your expression softens. “oh,” you say quietly, face flushing at having jumped to conclusions so quickly. “sorry.”
“why would i wanna leave after this?” he frowns, looking genuinely appalled at the mere idea that someone might do that. “you’re still here.”
“i thought, since–” you start, then pause. discussion for another time. “nevermind, it’s not important. but why were you putting your pants on like you were gonna leave?”
you’re the one feeling embarrassed, but it’s junhui that turns red and starts stuttering. “well, i– um, i didn’t want you to… see…”
you laugh and put your head back in your arms. when you don’t say anything, he calls out your name nervously, and you look back over at him.
“junnie, your dick was just in me. twice. i don’t care what it looks like.”
“okay,” he says shyly, but his fingers still fumble with the button of his jeans.
you sigh once he finishes adjusting his pants. whatever makes him more comfortable, you suppose. “jun, can you… help me clean up now, please?” you ask timidly.
he glances over at you, looking like he’s about to ask why you need help, but then he sees you still bent awkwardly over the table and his cum still covering your back, and his eyes widen. “oh! shit, yeah– yes, i’m so sorry, i will–” he stammers, almost tripping over his backpack in his hurry to go get a tissue from the box by the door.
you sigh, more exhausted than mad, knowing you can’t really fault him. he comes back over a second later, gripping a wadded-up handful of tissues.
he drops them on your back and begins wiping at your skin, gingerly cleaning you off. when he’s satisfied with his work, he balls up the tissues and tosses them into the small can by the door.
“oh!” he says, realizing. “i think we have antibacterial wipes in here too, do you want me to use one of those? er, wait, i don’t know if they’re safe for skin…”
with your back (mostly) clean again, you stand up, wincing at the ache in your hips. “it’s fine, don’t worry about it. i’ll shower when i get home.”
you limp over to your chair, picking up your clothes and sitting down to start getting dressed again.
when jun finishes pulling his shirt over his head and looks over at you he gasps, seeing the bruises across your hips and tummy. “holy shit! did i do that?” he asks, looking horrified, and you look down to check.
“oh. yeah, that and the table,” you shrug, hooking your bra behind your back.
“i’m sorry,” he says, voice quivering, and he genuinely looks like he’s about to cry until you convince him you’re alright and he didn’t do anything wrong.
“it’s not supposed to hurt, though, i thought,” he frowns. “i don’t want to hurt you. i lo– um, like you,” he says, “why would i want to hurt you?” he catches himself quickly, but you heard what he started to say. you decide now isn’t the best moment for you to bring it up, so you leave it alone.
“sometimes people like it when it hurts. sometimes people like it not to hurt. everybody’s different,” you tell him instead.
he nods, thinking. “i… liked this,” he says finally.
you smile, finishing putting the last of your clothes back on. “good, i’m glad. you’re supposed to enjoy it.”
“did… you like it?” he asks tentatively.
“yes, i did like it,” you giggle, and he beams, clearly proud of himself. and he should be. obviously it wasn’t the most perfect of your life, but when is it ever? it was close enough to perfect that it might as well be.
“you live on campus, right? so i don’t need to walk you to your car?” he asks, grabbing his jacket that somehow fell on the floor and tossing it onto his chair as he starts to shut everything down in the studio.
you sigh. damn, you’d forgot about this part. sure, a couple hours ago you could walk just fine to the communications building on the complete opposite side of campus, but you hadn’t planned on getting railed within an inch of your life so you hadn’t exactly thought to bring your car. “yeah, but i… it’s on the south end, and i probably won’t be able to walk very far,” you mumble, avoiding his gaze. “i’ll take the shuttle.”
he frowns. “i’m not gonna let you take the bus. i can give you a ride.”
“you don’t need to, jun.”
“yes, i do,” he says assertively, and it startles you enough to meet his eyes. you haven’t ever heard his voice that firm, and when you look up his expression is as equally determined as his tone. not that you’d ever admit it to him, but it is kind of… hot.
you decide not to argue with him, knowing you won’t be able to change his mind anyway. you nod an ‘okay’, and his face instantly brightens to the awkward, nerdy jun you’re used to, beaming like he did when you first agreed to another date, back in the café what feels like ages ago.
“are you doing anything tonight?” you ask, watching him shut down the equipment and turn all the knobs and dials to an off position.
“no. i mean, i was gonna catch up on my show, but then, i didn’t expect for… this, to happen, so…” he shrugs. “i don’t know.”
“do you wanna come over? i… i mean, not to do anything. just… wanna be with you.” your voice comes out smaller than you intend it to, but jun still hears you loud and clear.
“yeah,” he grins. “yeah, that would be really cool.”
he pauses, looking like he wants to ask you something but not sure if he should. “can i give you a hug?” he says finally.
you smile. only junhui would ask for something as small and sweet as a hug after having sex. “yes, please.”
he crosses the room in two strides, barely giving you time to process before he’s squeezing you in his arms. you sigh and automatically melt into his arms, inhaling the perfumey scent of his cologne lingering on his wrinkled clothes.
it feels… good, being cared about.
he finishes shutting everything down quickly and grabs his things, swinging his backpack over his shoulder as he flips off the lights and closes the door behind you, making sure it’s locked before heading down the stairs.
you hate the way your legs tremble going down the steps, cursing him for being so good at his first time, because who the hell is that good their first time? already at the bottom of the stairs, jun looks back to see where you are and why you aren’t beside him, and, seeing you gripping onto the side railing for support, he dashes back up the steps two at a time to grab your arm and help you.
“you weren’t kidding when you said you couldn’t walk,” he giggles, holding the door open for you, and oh my god you want to hit him. “does that always happen? i thought people always just made that up to sound cool.”
“yes, i wasn’t kidding, and no, it doesn’t always,” you mutter, face heating in embarrassment. “depends on the person and how rough it is.”
his smile widens, the implied meaning of your words sinking in. “so what you’re saying is, my di–”
“junnie, if you finish that sentence, i swear to god i will never have sex with you ever again.”
he giggles, but he shuts his mouth, helping you the rest of the way to his car in silence. this time you know for sure, it’s a good silence.
his car is nicer than you’d expect a man’s car to be: clean and fairly organized, and there’s no half-eaten fast food in the backseat. he swings open the door for you and tries to help you sit down, but you swat his hand away.
he jogs around to the driver side door and slides into the seat, slamming it shut behind him. he buckles up, then grabs a candy cane from the pile in the cupholder and holds it out to you. “candy cane?”
“i’m… good,” you laugh, forcing yourself not to make a joke about having better things to suck on. why does he even have those in his car?
the ride to your apartment complex is pleasant. as expected from the radio man himself, as soon as the key is in the ignition, he turns the radio on, humming along to every song. you find yourself spending most of the drive staring at him, studying the tiny features in his cheeks when he smiles and the way his adam’s apple bobs when he hums.
after a shower, clean pajamas, and a raid of your refrigerator for snacks and something to drink, you’re snuggled up on the couch with jun, catching up on the show he wanted to watch. it’s the middle of some random season and you have no idea what’s going on, but you don’t care. just being here with him is more than enough for you, and you’re glad he’s enjoying being here, too.
“do you have a voice kink?” he asks suddenly at one of the commercials.
you nearly choke on your gatorade. “i– well, i mean… i didn’t used to, but…” you sputter out, your cheeks burning in embarrassment. “where did you even hear that?”
“jeonghan said you might.”
you scoff. you still haven’t met junhui’s broadcasting partner yet, but you already have some choice words in mind for him when you do finally get to have the pleasure of meeting him. “well, tell him to keep his thoughts to himself,” you say, taking another smaller sip and avoiding his grin.
“so is that a yes?”
you roll your eyes and ignore him, which might as well be a yes, but you choose not to admit it. you know you definitely need to talk to him about… everything, but he seems so happy right now, you don’t want to risk ruining the evening.
but luckily for you, he brings it up himself at the next commercial break.
“how long do i have to wait until i can ask you to be my girlfriend?” he says, muting the tv and looking over at you.
you laugh. “were we not… already?” you ask. “we’ve been on, like, four dates. usually that part happens before you have sex.”
he looks a little disappointed, for some reason. not exactly the reaction you’d expect when someone tells you they want to keep seeing you. “oh. um, well…” he starts, scratching at the back of his neck. “i planned it all out, i was gonna do this big thing and ask you. i thought i was supposed to. i meant to do it earlier, but…” he trails off, cheeks turning pink.
your expression softens. “you… can ask me now,” you say, putting your hand on his thigh.
“okay.” he clears his throat, sitting up straighter on the couch. “will you be my girlfriend?”
you try not to laugh at how serious he is, knowing he’s really, really trying. “yes, of course,” you reply, trying to match his seriousness.
“is that okay? that i didn’t do it right?” he asks nervously, fiddling with the hem of the blanket covering your laps.
you smile and bring your hand up to his cheek, pulling him towards you to give him a quick kiss. “you did it perfect, junnie.”
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duchess-kyuupid · 2 years ago
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So I had an idea, what if reader was the magicless student and didn't feel like going home because they knew they were dead in their old world?
So one day a friend asks, "What do you think you'd do if you got back home?"
And reader just replies nonchalantly with a straight face with, "Probably lie in a coffin six feet under."
The friend thinks they are joking but little do they know...
Could it be with Ace and whoever else you'd think best fit the scenario? Thanks! <3
Hello anon! Sorry this literally took forever (-ω-、) At first I had a hard time trying to figure out how to put it all together and who to do lmao I think I ended up doing pretty good, if I do say so myself (maybe a little bit overboard as it went on, though? Like the request looks like it's supposed to at least be a little bit funny but my brain says 'haha sad reader go brrr') Either way, I hope that you enjoy, darling <333
~ "I'm probably never going back." With Ace, Kalim, and Grim ~
[Angst to fluff, Platonic Grim, Gn! reader]
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Ace
"So," Ace started, munching on his sandwich, "What d'ya go to the Headmaster for this time? You get stuck with another random job again?" he asks with a sinister innocent smile on his face as he eyes your own lunch.
"Actually, we were discussing the prospects of me going home," you stated nonchalantly, casually sliding your plate of food closer to yourself, knowing full well that Ace really only started this conversation to get you distracted so that he could get at your cherry pie (which the chefs had made specifically for you, as a thanks for helping keep the fireplaces warm over winter break).
Now, while you had certainly noticed that Ace was after your food (you were used to it already, after dealing with Grim after all of this time), you had failed to notice the way that Ace's smile fell off of his face for the faintest moment after he heard the words 'home' leaving your mouth, but he was quick to regain his notorious smile before you could see his disappointment. And in an act to tease you a bit (and to rid himself of the unknown feelings bubbling in the pit of his stomach), he brazenly chuckles and states without thinking,
"Ha, I bet that old man probably told you to give it up. Like, what would you even do if you got back home?" Without a second beat you tell him with a straight face,
"I'd probably just be six-feet under."
"Right?" Ace agrees with a hearty chuckle. And he sees that you still for a second, lowering your head and taking a deep breath for a moment. In that quick moment of you losing concentration, Ace swipes the last remaining bite of your cherry pie with a cheeky smirk.
"So that's why I'm probably never going back," you clear your throat and look at Ace with a sad smile, tears brimming your eyes. And suddenly, Ace feels really, really guilty. He was just trying to lighten the mood by joking with you...about going home...
Ugh, how could he have messed this up, worse? It's impossible, I tell you! Ace knows that you've just been suddenly thrust into a world that you know nothing about, forced to attend a school where you barely even meet the minimum for the curriculum, and, to make matters even better for you, you're basically forced into doing whatever that Headmaster of the school tells you to, simply because he was just kind enough to let you stay at the school since you hadn't even a penny to your name nor your nonexistent family in this world.
Not only that, but you're also the prefect of this new dorm without any magic at all, and you're supposed to keep an eye on this random cat that nearly ruined the Orientation ceremony. And! You've also got to handle both him and Deuce, also known as the chaos duo to everyone who knows them. And he just stole the last piece of your cherry pie, which was honestly something that you more than deserve after all the shit that you've gone through. We all know that you weren't crying because of him stealing your pie, but this fact really was just the cherry on top of his sundae of regret.
So yeah, just label him as Dumbass #1 in your book, if he isn't already.
And he's not sure why he was surprised to see those tears in your eyes, but he was, and he's ashamed at the fact that he's never noticed how you've felt before. So in a frantic motion to fix things, Ace stands up quickly, saying a quick excuse to you about accidentally leaving something in his last class or something, and excusing himself from the lunch table before you could even react.
~~
You honestly didn't know where he went after he left you at lunch, because he wasn't in any of his classes for the remainder of the day. It was only after classes, as you were walking back to Ramshackle with Grim, that you saw him next. He was standing in front of your front door with a nervous look on his face, but he was dressed quite nicely. Not quite formal attire, but it looked like he was expecting to go somewhere, at the very least. Once he saw you approaching, his face brightened for a moment, with a slight blush cropping up on his cheeks as you ask him what he's been doing all day.
"Well," he starts with a chuckle and his infamous smile, rubbing the back of his neck nervously, "I got permission from the Headmaster for us to leave campus for a while, so why don't we go check out some stores at the village nearby? I thought that maybe I'd show you around, since you'd probably beg me to keep you from getting lost anyway... Oh, and don't worry about paying for anything, I have it allll covered." He says that last part with extra emphasis and a more confident smile than before, hoping that that would be the ticket to getting you to agree. Little did he know, you were going to agree even if he wasn't going to buy you anything. And little did you know that one of the biggest reasons why he's decided to do all of this can be explained through one simple sentence: 'I want you to start liking this world more than your own.'
In truth, he'd struck a deal with Azul again in exchange for enough cash to buy whatever you wanted from any store (he's got a lot of work cut out for him in the upcoming future), but shh, you didn't need to know that. It would be all worth it if it means that you can get a chance at starting a normal life here...
And perhaps, maybe one day you might want to start living your new life with him by your side.
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Kalim
Oh, Kalim. This epitome of sunshine was sharing everything about his family, his childhood, and his homeland to you with so much enthusiasm that you felt yourself feeling the twang of homesickness starting to erupt in your heart. But of course, this always happens with Kalim, doesn't it? First, he hurt the one who he's always adored as a brother- Jamil, and now, he's hurting you too, all without realizing it. You could never blame him for it, though. His genuine happiness and warmth was something that you looked forward to every day, and most of the time just being around him felt like you were basking in the sun on a cold day.
But, sometimes the warmth that he radiates so fervently starts to feel like too much, as if you were being scorched alive under the unbearable heat of the sun.
"So," Kalim says, taking a moment to catch his breath, "I think that's all of my brothers and sisters, plus all of my extended family too! We're a big family, so I know it's a lot, haha! Say, what's your family like?" he innocently asks with bright, expectant eyes.
And you know that he doesn't mean to do this to you, but you can't deny that right now you felt like his beautiful red eyes were burning themselves into your soul like a branding iron. You don't want to make it sound like you blame him for your predicament or his enthusiasm about his family, so you give him the best smile you can muster and divert the subject to the best of your ability.
"Well, they're really not as important as yours is. Can you tell me more about how the Asim family started out? Your family must have a lot of really interesting history."
"Oh, sure!" Kalim nods happily to your request, forgetting his own question shortly after as he continues in his own rant about his gigantic family and some of the more interesting parts of its history.
At this point, Jamil really couldn't bear to listen to this anymore. He's been quietly watching and listening in on your conversation with Kalim from his seat in the corner of the room, where he was supposed to be 'studying'. Jamil sees that Kalim's doing the same thing to you as what happened to him, and decides to step into your conversation. 'Might as well go ahead and rip the band-aid off before it gets to the point of no return,' Jamil thinks.
"Hey," he begins, cutting Kalim off mid-sentence, "Do you have any sort of plans for when you get to go home? If you can go home?"
And Kalim looks at you with a surprised look on his face at Jamil's question for you because of course you'd want to stay here in Twisted Wonderland with him and everyone else! He'd never thought of the idea that you'd ever want to go back home to your original world, Kalim felt like it was just a given that you'd want to stay even if you had the choice to leave. But now that he thinks about it a little more, he doesn't understand where he even got that idea from to begin with. After all, as someone who cares for his family and his homeland a great deal, he can kindof understand how you might feel after being torn away from all of that without any way of returning.
"Haha, well," you chuckle heartlessly, "I'm probably never going back anyway. I think if I went back home now I'd just be six-feet under or something." Your attempt to lighten the mood with your 'joke' fails when you hear the sound of your own voice saying it. You would be lying to yourself if you tried to claim that, no, your voice wasn't shaky, and that yes, you were completely fine with never seeing your family ever again. Jamil makes a comment that he was going to grab something to drink from the kitchen, leaving you in a moment of silence with Kalim following your rather dark 'joke.'
"Well, what's the harm in trying anyway?" Kalim asks softly, "You never know unless you try! Plus, even if it doesn't work out, at least you can say that you've given it your all, right?"
"That's the FUCKING problem," you snap, "I've BEEN trying to go back home, and nothing's ever working! And there's no way in hell I'm just going to give up and go ~'Well at least I tried'~ when it's my goddamn LIFE on the line here!"
Oh no, you didn't mean to start yelling at Kalim like that... But after hearing his flippant "at least you've given you're all" comment, all of the pent-up emotions just felt like they were going to explode if they were kept inside any longer. You feel bad for suddenly yelling at him, but at the same time, it felt like the water gates have finally opened, and before you knew it, more kept spilling from your mouth.
"I had a normal life back in my world, you know! I had people who cared for me, I had plans for the future that I painstakingly paved the road for for my entire fucking life. Everything that I've done in my life up to this point, it's all become utterly useless now that I've come here," you wailed, tears escaping your eyes as you spoke without constraint, "Can you imagine how it feels to have everything stolen away from you, Kalim? All of the people that I've created my childhood memories with, they're all gone! My scholarships, my college applications, my work experience- nonexistent! Hell, if you want to get into the legalities of it, I technically have never gone to school in my life before attending NRC because I never existed in this world before then." You take a breath to help calm yourself down, but after still feeling the flames of rage bubbling in your lungs, you continue to vent out your feelings.
"Do you know how it feels, Kalim, to have no idea whether the people you love know if you're dead or alive? To have to think about how they would react to my 'death' when I'm still kicking and screaming inside another world?! To have to think about everything that you've been forced to leave behind all of a sudden?" You're basically screaming out your frustrations to the sky now, as you couldn't bear to stare at Kalim as you cried out your miseries, "To have to think about the life you could be leading right now if you weren't dragged to some random world with no knowledge about it's countries, it's history, or even it's most fundamental principles like magic?"
Kalim's staring at you intensely, taking every single word you speak into account. Even as you got to the point where you couldn't speak clearly anymore, when you pushed yourself to where all you could do was sob, snivel, and blubber out your words of woe, Kalim sat there listening to you the whole way through.
At some point during your crying, Kalim pulled you gently into his arms in a tight embrace as he let you continue to let your feelings out. He was going to wait until it was all out before he even tried to say anything (reason one being, because it would be rather rude to interrupt you, and two is because he's been rather notorious for crying when he sees other people cry and he didn't want to make the crying spotlight on him)
When you were finally done, Kalim patted your head soothingly and spoke quietly. His own voice was shaky too, and he was also on the verge of tears just from watching and listening to you.
"I never knew you felt like that, I'm sorry for not realizing it earlier," he says, and just the sound of him trying to keep in his tears breaks your heart to pieces.
Your pain is his pain, your tears are his tears, and your smile is his smile because, even if he doesn't realize it yet, he truly loves you dearly. Kalim knows he can be really, really dense most of the time, which is why he never noticed these pent-up frustrations of yours when they were so obvious to Jamil, but he hopes that you'll forgive him for making you feel even worse.
"It's not your fault, Kalim. I'm not angry at you or anything- I'm sorry for yelling like that," you inhale, "It's just-... It just hurts, you know? Thinking about all of the what-ifs and the could-be's... But the truth is, I've had more fun in the short time that I've been here than in my entire life back home. And most of that's because of you, actually."
"Really?" he asks, a spark of his normal cheer returning to his voice.
"Yes, really. I might not be able to use magic, but it's been something that I've loved learning about since coming here. You know, the very first time you took me on a ride with the magic carpet, and I got to see this whole new world from way high up in the sky, I knew that nothing from my home could beat that experience. I'm going to miss my home, but it's not so bad when I know that you're here."
Oh, look at you- you were the one who just had an emotional breakdown right in front of Kalim, and yet you're the one consoling him! Your sweet words struck through his heart like cupid's arrow, and he internally vows that he will always be someone who brings a smile to your face- that he will do everything that he can to make sure that you're happy.
"Then," he perks up, wiping his face from any stray tears that might have escaped from earlier, "Let's go on another carpet ride together, outside of campus!" He exclaims excitedly, all hints of previous sadness gone from his eyes and voice.
"There's so many places I want to show you, but I think we should look for spots that look like your home! This world is a pretty big place, so I'm sure there must be somewhere that looks similar to yours. Tell me everything about your homeland- If we can't find something like it, then we'll just have to make it ourselves!"
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Grim
It was in the midst of winter break that you started to feel more lonely. All of your other friends were gone and spending the holidays with their families, while you were still here at the school with your only company being Grim and the Ramshackle ghosts, who would come and go as they pleased. Everything was just so,, quiet, without the chaos duo Deuce and Ace around. Of course, Grim was almost always up to his own little shenanigans too, but most of the time they were harmless and it was just him entertaining himself with catching mice and such.
The silence of the winter break and the bleakness of the white snow was staring to take a toll on you, and it wasn't helping the fact that you're still experiencing nightmares beyond what you see in the mirror at night (this is not a jab at you, I swear).
For reference, you just had a dream that woke you up in the middle of the night, sweating and gasping for air as you tried to recollect yourself. Of course, you couldn't fall back asleep after what you've just seen, and Grim was still sound asleep in his corner of the bed. Quietly, you move to get up to go get some fresh air outside- not forgetting to bring your jacket with you to the freezing cold weather out there.
And you spent a bit of time in the silence of the night, sitting on the stairs of the front porch of the Ramshackle dorm with a heavy jacket tied to your shoulders, just staring up into the sky. This isn't the first time that this has happened, so you know that looking at the stars would usually help you out in times like these.
'I can see the stars so clearly from here. Back home, the stars would be so dim that most nights you could hardly see them because of all of the lights around.'
'Huh, I wonder what kind of constellations this world has thought up of. That kinda looks almost like a horse, if you look at it sideways.'
'I wonder what kind of galaxy this world is in. The Milky Way was nice and all, but something different could be nice, too.'
Those would be the kind of thoughts that would help calm you down after your nightmares and you'd start feeling sleepy again. You'd go back inside, maybe drink a little bit of water, and then delve underneath the covers of your bed and go to back to sleep.
But this time, though, you could hardly focus on anything else except for the contents of your dream. No matter how intently you stared into the night sky, there was nothing else that you could think of other than, 'It was just so realistic.'
"Hey, hench-human! There you are! 'Was wonderin' where ya went so late at night. Come back in already, you let the fireplace in the room die out and now the whole room's gone cold again," you hear Grim calling out to you from the now open door of the Ramshackle dorm.
"Sorry Grim, I'll be back inside in just a bit, just gimmie a minute, alright?"
"What? You're just gonna sit outside in this cold?" Grim exclaims, "What are ya even doing out here anyway?" And you hear Grim's paws tapping on the old wooden flooring as he scampers his way to you.
"Couldn't sleep, so I went out for some fresh air, that's all."
"Oh yeah? Had another dream about the Great Seven? Or was it that Mickey dude in the mirror again?" He pushes your arms away from your legs and jumps into your lap without another thought. If he was going to wait for you to get up and relight the fireplace, he was at least going to wait somewhere that's nice and warm- your lap.
"Actually," you clear your throat, "not this time, no."
"Then what's up?" And he just said it so casually, like either he knew that something was bothering you and he wanted to make the conversation comfortable enough to talk about it- that or he's just completely unable to read a room (which was honestly the more likely option). Either way, it made you pause for a moment, to think about whether you wanted to answer his question honestly or make up some sort of lie about it.
"I'm thinking about whether I should just go ahead and tell Crowley to give up on looking for my way back home," you admit, deciding on telling him half-truths for now. But your comment caught him off guard, and he looks back at you with surprise. "Huh, why would ya do that?" he asks.
"Well, I mean I'd probably just be lying six feet under if I do manage to go back, so what's the point in having Crowley waste his time on this? Besides, he's been using it as an excuse to make me us do all of his dirty work for him, and I don't want to be indebted to him anymore than I already am."
"Well, I guess that does make sense, but still, haven't you been wantin' to go home this whole time? What's with you givin' up now?" he grumbles.
"Awe, I had no idea that you hated me this much," you joke, "To think, that even my closest friend even wants me gone from this world! Oh, woe is me!"
"Hey, you know it ain't like that, henchman!" Grim pushes you playfully, "I'll have you know that, unlike SOME people, I care about my minions. If ya wanna go home, then you should keep tryin' to find a way back, especially if there's someone else doin' all the work for you."
"That's sweet of you to say, but I'm probably never going back."
"What makes you so sure?" And you don't say anything to his question, not for a while. Grim notices your silence and concludes his statement, "Well, if that's what you want, then alright. It just means that you'll be here to see me become the greatest mage in the world!"
"Mhm," you nod sluggishly, and the conversation goes quiet from there. Now, the heavy silence of the winter night fell upon the both of you, the only sounds being the creaking of the old wooden planks of the Ramshackle dorm, the frostbitten wind blowing through the air, and the soft shuffling of you petting through Grim's fur as he sits idly in your lap. The silence didn't bother either of you much, as Grim was nearly falling back to sleep with the soft movements of your hands brushing him and the warmth from your lap keeping the cold at bay. But as time continued to pass, your anxious thoughts started clouding the deep recesses of your mind once again and you felt compelled to speak upon them.
"Grim, I know that you're a monster and everything, but do you know anything about reading a human's pulse?" you speak suddenly, and he flinches awake at your question, rubbing his eyes tiredly as you continue without letting him answer, "You can find your heart rate just by pressing on your wrist, or placing these fingers against your neck, like this." And you demonstrated both actions to him.
"Grim,, I," your voice chokes up, "I can't feel my pulse... Earlier I had another nightmare, and I saw myself dying. In my world... It was so realistic, I..." Tears start erupting from your eyes as you recall the vivid memory, and Grim stares at you with wide eyes as you continue, "When I woke up, I felt like I could still feel the pain. It was so excruciating, I felt like I was going to throw up, so I came out here."
Your body was shivering uncontrollably with how you were trying to keep your tears in as you spoke, and you pull Grim closer to you in a hug close to your chest, "Grim, please tell me. Do you hear anything? Anything at all? Even if you lie to me, please just tell me that you can hear my heartbeat."
Ba-dum. Ba-dum. Ba-dum.
"I can hear it," Grim states seriously (I mean, after seeing the state you're in, it would be more than a little rude if he wasn't serious), "And I'm not lyin' to ya. It's super cold out here, which is probably why ya can't feel it, but you do have a heartbeat. I promise you, you're alive, right here, with me." He wasn't expecting this, but he tries his best to comfort you, though really he has no idea about what to do or what to say. But as awkward as his words come out as, it still works to help you calm down after a while. He waits until your breathing starts to slow down and your tears have stopped spilling.
"Henchman, I'm startin' to feel hungry for a midnight snack," he states, "I know you're hungry too, so let's go sneak into the cafeteria and see what they've got!" And he leaps off of your lap and looks at you with his bright blue eyes, "We can warm up by its fireplace while we're there too."
As he starts dragging you towards the school, he turns to look at you and he says, "The way I see it, the way you still get hungry or thirsty is how we know that you're still alive. You wouldn't need to eat or sleep if you were dead, like the ghosts, now would'ya? You really need to stop overthinking things like this, givin' me a heart attack when you start cryin' outta nowhere like that..."
~~~~~~
I accidentally wrote a whole mini-story for them, no wonder this request took so long </33 I really hope that you enjoyed reading this, anon! While I did have trouble at the beginning, things started falling into place as I kept writing 👏👏
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aetherghouls · 8 months ago
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ghostsoap coffee shop au where Soap has been down bad for the past 2 years since he started working at the coffee shop and first saw the hot tattoo artist working across the street, but he had never made any moves because 1. he doesn't even know if Ghost is interested in men (or anyone, really) and 2. the guy seems too reserved to enjoy someone throwing themself at him, so instead, he just settled for small talk every time, trying to make Simon warm up to him slowly. They became friends, of course, no one could resist Johnny and his charm, even if the Brit always denied it and stayed rough around the edges. And then a new barista comes into the picture, a gorgeous one. They were all over Ghost the second they saw him.
To say that his blood was boiling every time he saw that would be an understatement, a big one. There was nothing in those moments he hated more and if looks could kill, the new barista would be long dead. Too bad it didn't work. Too bad Soap, instead of just telling Ghost he liked him, watched the way the new one was flirting with Simon so openly and the tattoo artist was playing into it.
Johnny had became so fucking grumpy after a week of that, everyone noticed, especially Ghost, because he was on the recieving end of it. And if there was one thing Johnny could do, it was being passive aggressive while mad.
Don't be fooled though, he wasn't unprofessional, but he definitely cut the small talk, turned down Ghost every time he tried to chat, gods, he even made up tasks to do just do he didn't have to be around Ghost and the new guy if they had a shift together and the artist came around. Everyone noticed.
Gaz tried asking, of course, the good friend he is. He knew Johnny fancied Simon, so the sudden change of hearts was unexpected until he saw the new barista with Ghost. It all made sense suddenly.
That's how Kyle came up with a way to force Johnny to finally talk to Simon.
To be fair, it wasn't hard, convincing his friend. The hardest part was making him admit that he was jealous, then it all went smoothly. Soap was of course, still grumpy and still angry with Ghost for not putting two and two together, but Kyle, gods bless this man's soul for putting up with it all, could be really persuasive.
And that's how, through a needlessly complicated and twisted plan that could have been executed in many more simple ways, Simon finally took a hint as to why his favourite barista was mad at him, and – of course – he did his best to make up for it. Not openly, he wasn't some soppy teenage boy that would turn into a puddle when someone he fancied was angry. It was just simply not him to act that way. So, instead, he left little gifts for Soap, nothing overly elaborate, he'd, for example, buy something to eat with his coffee, things he knew Jonny enjoyed and leave them for the Scot, instead of taking them, always brushing it off as "not having enough time to eat" when he finished his drinks.
It took a good month for John MacTavish to get over it, over thirty days of Simon doing little things for him so the barista would go back to his previous self. Him and Ghost may and may not have gone out after that, too, but that's a story for another day.
I wrote this at work mostly lmao (I don't even work at a coffee shop) (don't eat me it's the first writing I've posted properly in years) (you won't see me here for months after this 🫶)
it's embarrassing to post anything on Tumblr so if this flops I'm deleting my account and burying myself 3 feet under
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remcycl333 · 1 year ago
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i really like when u talk abt ur own experiences when dealing with all this!! could u expand more on how u manifested ur apartment? like what ur daily life looked like, etc. bc im in a similar situation w a mentally exhausting family and im trying to get tf out lol
TW: narcissistic/co-dependent parent
yeah! so my older sister got married and moved out, leaving me alone with a narcissistic parent, so i knew i really wanted to move out and live on my own. but i had negative circumstances. for instance my parent was really co-dependent, which led to them never letting me get my drivers license or a job. even when i was 20-21. plus this was during lockdown so i didn't really have the ability to learn how to drive from other means. plus along with not being able to drive and not having the money to afford living on my own, i knew my parent would never let me move out bc they didn't want to be alone. so i was really depressed because my situation felt very hopeless.
but then i remembered the power of manifestation. i had manifested an sp at this point and other things, such as appearance changes and money here and there, but this was a "big" manifestation. big meaning that so many dominoes had to fall in just the right places, so to speak. for instance i was nervous that i'd wake up in a new apartment and not be able to pay the rent to live there and have to move out. so i was unsure if i should manifest money first, and then manifest the apartment. but what i was imagining as my end was me in my apartment with more than enough money to survive, so i decided not to manifest in steps.
i was triggered a LOT at first, bc like i mentioned i was dealing with a co-dependent narcissistic parent. like sometimes they'd talk about how i'd still be living at home till i was 25+ and the idea made me go absolutely crazy. i went through months of being miserable at the idea, thinking about how all my peers were living on their own and not having to deal with the shit i did. but eventually i just got so fed up and i decided i just needed to go completely in, because i had been putting off really applying for the longest time.
so what i did was make a note in my notes app describing my dream apartment, and i included pics i found on Pinterest of different features i wanted in my apartment. like what i wanted the kitchen and bathroom to look like, the specific vanity i wanted, etc.
then whenever i thought about it, i'd tell myself i was already there and the apartment was mine. similarly to Abdullah slamming the door on Neville and saying "you are in Barbados", any time i wondered how it would happen or think about how it hadn't reflected yet, i'd tell myself "you are in your dream apartment." it was a reminder that i wouldn't be wondering any of those things, or worrying or doubting, if i was already in my dream apartment. and i already was there in my imagination! so there was no room for me to be dwelling on stuff like that.
throughout the day, i liked to retreat to my imagination when i had time and felt upset about my 3D. i'd do so by imagining that my surroundings were different. for instance i had a picture saved of what i wanted my shower to look like (it was always my dream to have a really really nice bathroom bc my shower has always been a safe space for me of sorts lmao) so when i was in the shower, i'd close my eyes and imagine i was in that shower i had saved from Pinterest. i also did this in the kitchen when i was cleaning or cooking, and while i laid in bed at night before falling asleep.
i also never really let people come over to my house when i lived with my parent(s) bc my co-dependent narcissistic parent would always come up with some completely insane and random reason why they didn't like that friend and i'd never hear the end of it. so i'd have inner convos with myself about how i was excited my friend was coming over later and i'd come up with different things we'd be doing. this was another way i liked to fulfill myself in my imagination.
whenever i was interacting with my parent, as i way to dismiss my 3D, i just pretended i was visiting home and that's why i was with them/at their house. it helped me remind myself that being there wasn't permanent.
this manifestation took me a couple of months, as i was triggered a lot. eventually, after fulfilling myself enough and finding solace in my imagination whenever i felt bad, i was triggered less and less by my 3d and circumstances. i also manifested my parent being chiller and blowing up a lot less.
the final thing i was missing was that i was in a neutral state a lot and i thought because i wasn't upset by my 3d that meant i wasn't in the state of lack. i just had this epiphany recently on my twitter, so it took me a while to correct this issue because i didn't even know it was an issue. i had that epiphany well after successfully manifesting my apartment.
the neutral state was me being like "oh my 3d isn't too bad i kinda like chilling in my room unbothered." so i wasn't upset at my 3d, but i was still also acknowledging i didn't have what i wanted. this was fixed when i started imagining my surroundings as my dream apartment, like i mentioned a few paragraphs up.
and then one day, i woke up and my surroundings felt different. i sleep with a sleeping mask on, so when i wake up and open my eyes, it's still pitch black. but i felt the air around me was different, and the sounds around me were different. like the sound of my ceiling fan in my room was different. then i took off my sleeping mask and i was in my new room, in my new apartment!
it was kinda spooky at first im ngl. at first i thought i was dreaming, but i wasn't (i checked). then i just explored the apartment! i was paranoid i was gonna find someone in my apartment or something 😭 but the apt was exactly how i wanted it to look, and i had plenty of money in my bank account to cover rent and bills and food! and i've been living here ever since with virtually 0 problems :)
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alilarew23 · 1 year ago
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the script that helped me finally manifest my SP when i knew it was done but *couldn’t stop overthinking
i woke up one day so unbelievably sick of thinking about manifestation and about my SP despite loving the shit out of him that i sat on my shower floor (iykyk LMAO) and thought, “truly, what would i be feeling right now if homeboy texted me and we met up and worked through stuff and everything was just…good…between us?” the answer came instantly, always does: “i’d just feel normal. and so fucking relieved to never have to think about this ever again.” so, i put myself in a state of feeling “normal,” which for me manifested in the body as no anxiety, just calm, cool, “like me,” and any time i thought about my SP throughout the day, which honestly was still A LOT despite trying to distract myself (this was at the end of my a+p days, RIP brain), i shrugged and said, “it’s done. i’ll see him tonight.”
he was back in three days.
so if you know it’s done but feel like your big beautiful brain is getting in your way, maybe give this one a try.
never fails me.
*also worth noting that “couldn’t stop overthinking” was just a state, too - i recognized I AM the problem and knew I AM (always) the solution, hence my intuitively entering a state of quiet-brain and normalcy. you can do it, too. your I AM knows the way.
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milawritesstuff · 2 years ago
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Hi can I request a pedri imagine where him & the reader have been together for a while but he gives off the “I don’t need you vibes” but in reality he doesn’t want to lose her so she starts asking a little more from him because it’s almost getting too late. He finally starts to show he does need her & can’t lose her especially in a time when someone else tried to get her attention. (Something similar happened with my ex & I…this is why he’s an ex)
A/N: not going to lie I made myself cry with this one lmao.
Warnings: just sad
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•••
It had been over three hours since Pedri’s practice had ended. You were still sitting in the dining table waiting for him. Your plate of spaghetti had gotten cold and after reheating it twice you had given up. You stood up and threw your food into the trash can.
Your texts asking where he was had gone unanswered, as it had become common. You left him a note on the table telling him there was food and that you loved him. You decided to go to bed. You laid there in the dark quiet room and tears began to fall down your cheeks. You couldn’t understand how this was what your relationship had become. You weren’t sure when it happened but it did.
Pedri, the man who used to message you almost every hour that he could and almost speed home to be with you barely even showed any interest now. You wondered why you even stayed, it probably didn’t matter to him.
The next morning your alarm woke you up for work. As you opened your eyes you saw Pedri sleeping next to you. You couldn’t help but smile at how beautiful he was. You stood up and placed a kiss on his cheek which was met by grunting from him and him pulling the blanket over his face.
As you were getting ready to step out the door you realized his backpack was thrown over the note you had left him the night before. Which meant he hadn’t even read it. The front pocket of his backpack was open and inside there were a few folded notes from fans with their Instagram handles. You felt your heart sink.
You continued to look at your phone throughout the day waiting for a message from Pedri, but nothing. You knew he was awake and on his phone because he was answering comments on his Instagram. But you were clearly not important.
When you got back home you heard him in the shower. You walked to the room and waited for him to come out.
-Hola amor.- you say as he steps out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around the bottom half of his body.
-Hey.- he says.
-Do you want to go have dinner?- you ask as he begins to put on the clothes he had laid out on the bed.
-I can’t. I’m going out with the guys.-
-Where are you going?- you ask. You can already feel a knot in your throat. He barely even looked at you. No kiss, no hug.
-We’re going out.- he said annoyed.
You stood up and paced around the room while he continued to get ready. You were trying not to cry.
-I - I just wanted to let you know that I’m leaving.- you say catching him off guard.
-Are you going to go visit your parents?- he asks.
-No Pedro. I’m leaving for good. We haven’t seen each other in two days and you’re going out? You don’t tell me where. You don’t look for me. You don’t need me.
He put on his hoodie as he rolled his eyes.
-Why do you have to choose the most inconvenient time to be so dramatic Y/N? I’m just going out with the guys, I’ll be back soon.
He began to walk out of the bedroom. But your pride always got you in trouble. You couldn’t stay quiet. You followed him.
-Don’t lie to me. Who are you seeing?- you ask with your eyes pleading not to tell you he’s cheating.
-Are you seeing one of the girls that gave you their Instagram handle?- you say holding tears back.
-Why are you looking through my stuff?- is all he says.
A year falls down your eye but Pedri is already storming out of the house.
-Pedro please don’t leave. - You plead.
-I can’t stand you.- he says as he shuts the door behind him.
You spend the night waiting for him again but end up falling asleep. You had texted his two closest friends Gavi and Ferran but they weren’t with him. The next morning when you woke up you found him sleeping in his clothes on the couch. You knew he had been drinking.
You had to go to work but had already made up your mind you would pack your bags when you came back. It would be much easier to get over him if you were away and not under the same roof.
That afternoon as you were leaving work with your co-worker you heard a honk. When the two of you turned around you realized it was Pedri. Your co worker said goodbye as you walked towards Pedri’s car.
-What do you want?- you asked.
-I sent you a message I was going to pick you up.- he said.
-I didn’t see it, like all of the messages I have sent you that you don’t see.-
-Please just get in the car.- he said sternly.
-Pedri please leave.-
-Just get in the car.- he insisted. People were already looking at the two of you yelling at each other. You know they would recognize his car soon and decided to just get in the car.
-Who was that hijo de puta? Is that why you’re leaving me? He asked.
-You have nobody to blame but yourself.- you spat back.
-So you are leaving me?- he asked. You didn’t answer. You could feel tears were forming in your eyes. You couldn’t let him see you cry. You turned to face the passenger window as you began to cry and
held in any noise. He didn’t say anything.
When you finally made it home he got out of the car and went inside leaving you in the car. Your heart was breaking more and more with each one of his actions. When you finally made it inside you made your way to the room to try to pack. A few second later he came in. You had your luggage spread open on the bed as you grabbed whatever you could, tears falling down.
-What are you doing?- he asked as he stood at the door.
-I told you I was leaving.-
-You’re overreacting.-
You suddenly felt a wave of rage travel through your body. You turned over to look at him.
-What do you want me to stay here for? To ignore me? To continue cheating on me? I love you Pedro but I’m done.- you zipped up your luggage.
-I’m not cheating on you.-
-The where were you yesterday?- you ask.
-With Ferran and Gavi.-
-I called, you weren’t with them.
-Y/N please. I’m not cheating on you. I never would. Please don’t leave.
-And why would I stay?- you say as you begin to pull your luggage outside of the room leaving him behind.
-Y/N please. I’m sorry. I know I’ve been an asshole lately but I’ve just been under so much stress. I love you.
That was the first time he ever said that. And you wished he hadn’t done it right now, seconds away from walking out of his house and his life for good. He walked up towards you now standing right in front. You yearned to feel close to him again. To kiss him and be in his arms. But you knew better.
-Pedro, I - I - I’m leaving. We need some time away, - he stood there in front you. Reality had finally hit him. He was about to lose me.
-Please Y/N, please stay. I’ll be better but please don’t leave.
-Tell me where you were last night.-
He put his fingers through his hair as he paced around. -I went out with Ansu and some of his friends. We went to a club. I know you wouldn’t like it so that’s why I said I was with Gavi and Ferran.-
-Was there girls there?- you ask almost not wanting to hear the response.
-Some girls came up to us but I didn’t do anything, I promise. You’re the one I love.- he says.
-You know this is the first time you tell me you love me?- you say.
He stood there staring at you now realizing that despite dating for over a year and living together he hadn’t shown you how much he cared for you. Realizing he was about to lose the person he cared the most for because he just couldn’t show how he was feeling.
-And I mean it. I’m sorry I’ve been acting like this. It’s just so stressful trying to perform for the club and when I come home I don’t want to fight with you.-
-And you think it’s easy to be alone all of the time? Got leave for days with the club and when you are home you just want to do what you want to do.- you explain.
-Well your co-worker has been keeping you company, hasn’t he?- he asks.
-My coworker barely talks to me but if you think I would so easily cheat on you then that’s another reason for me to leave.- you grab your purse from the kitchen table. As you turn around you feel Pedri grab you by your arm and pull you back towards him.
-Please don’t leave. I’ll do better, I’ll be better. But please don’t leave.
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usedpidemo · 1 month ago
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a tale of two (concert) halves... (storytime!)
I've made it clear over the past few updates that my real life struggles have really backed us into a corner. If the first half of 2024 was on hard difficulty, the second half has so far been on brutal. Personal relationships are falling apart, our physical health has been going through hell, and our finances are struggling to keep up with ever increasing debts. As much as I am a man of faith, I do struggle with maintaining such devout trust on the daily, because I am afraid of the worst.
But even during these tough times, it's comforting to know I won't be left for dead, and I can still find enjoyment in them.
Not gonna lie, I thought I would never attend a concert this year. IVE was coming back after a little over a year, but I didn't have money for it (and is something I still struggle to move on from). ITZY was coming back less than eight months when I saw them, but no Lia, and the ticket selling was insanely early (fuck you Live Nation). The only other girl group I think came here was fromis_9, which I still would love to see, but that was for a festival, so the setlist was extremely limited—and it was during finals week, so that was not gonna happen. There's just been an overall downturn of concerts compared to last year, so whether or not this is a good thing, you decide. (Seriously, no aespa, no (G)I-DLE, no NMIXX, etc.)
However—here comes Red Velvet, one of the holy trinity of 3rd gen girl groups (TwicePinkVelvet), celebrating their 10th anniversary with an Asia tour. By some miracle, I got a stimulus check two months ahead of my birthday, and yet it was still a hard decision, because I wasn't sure if other girl groups would also tour near the end of the year. Looking at what's to come for the last quarter of the year, I highly doubt it and 2025 is sure to be stacked, so it all paid off in retrospect.
It was a completely different experience than the first two outings. For one, it was fucking standing floor over seated, so I knew my body would be put through the torture rack. Second was the unpredictability of where I would end up—thankfully it wasn't first come first serve where I would be forced to camp early (which by the way, concert campers are disgusting and should be arrested). Still, my positioning would depend on my queuing number (which in itself was dependent on when you would buy your ticket, and obviously unless you got into the site as soon as it loaded up, the earlier), and while it wasn't completely shit—it still meant that a majority would get their preferred spot over mines.
Cut to the actual concert day and it was a tale of two halves. The first was the pre-concert, which wasn't all bad at the start—but then there was the queuing before entering the venue. I could have easily waited and taken my sweet time exploring and doing other shit, but I was pressured to queue early out of fear of not getting a good spot. I forgot that since it was queuing numbers, they would rearrange the line anyway, so I never really had a chance lmao. I really shot myself in the foot quite literally by adding an extra two hours standing around.
Everyone in VIP was given a bonus member card, and I didn't end up getting my bias. I tried bartering with other fans, but I absolutely failed. To add insult to injury, everyone else were able to trade and/or get theirs, so that fucking sucks.
It was also the first time I was forced to wear some kind of noise control for my ears. Didn't really have earplugs but Airpods were certainly a nice alternative. Fucking hell—this was the loudest of the three crowds I've ever been a part of, and it doesn't help that the audience would screech and shout out of tune. It was so goddamn annoying. Then you get to the ments/speeches, and they would just fucking bark and make monkey noises while the members were talking, and after performances. I counted a total of 12-14 times this happened throughout, and it never got any better. If the members weren't encouraging the audience, I'd probably have socked someone in the nose out of annoyance at some point.
As for the overall concert itself, I had a blast! I'm not that familiar with Red Velvet's colorful discography, but they performed most of their hits and title tracks (ripperoni Russian Roulette and Chill Kill). Not only that, but the set ran for almost 3 hours (2 hours 50 minutes as they did start like 10 minutes past schedule), and the energy persisted all throughout. Wendy was constantly flaunting her vocals, but Joy. Joy was absolutely fucking insane. Also, the fucking Zimzalabim encore is something everyone needs to experience once in their lifetime.
I wish I could say the pain was all worth it—but of course, life being life, it decides to fuck with me one more fucking time with the middle finger. After the show ended, we were all told to stay in our spots for the send-off event as everyone else were escorted out and the raffle winners from lower seating tiers were pulled in. We waited for 40 minutes, and then the members come out. It should be a cool moment! Except they were led by staff straight to the extended stage for a bit and then they'd get off, completely neglecting the sides, where me and a few others were. They would eventually go around the venue, but by the time we realized what has happening, it was too late—we never got to see them up close properly.
I'll be honest, while I don't feel as bothered thinking about it a few days on, when it happened, it almost ruined the entire experience for me. The organizers/staff had misdirected us and didn't organize properly, so some of us got a lesser experience than those who won the raffle, which is worse for us since we paid more. The send-off treatment here was way—way worse than in Bangkok and Jakarta, and it fucking pisses me off. We can't have shit in this country. I don't blame the girls for it; they were just following instructions and they had a flight to catch shortly after (not to mention they were tired as fuck). Still, the fact I paid so much for that underwhelming send-off experience just reinforces my opinion that hi-touches are simply better. At least everyone gets a fair shot, even if it was very brief. You can't win them all, I guess. I also do believe that it was bound to happen, the first two experiences were near-perfect and flawless in execution, so something had to give to bring me back down to earth.
Nevertheless, even if for just a few hours, it's nice to find some comfort and enjoyment despite the world around me crumbling down. To think that they're 10 years on and still as active as their younger contemporaries in K-pop is astounding. I can see why they're among the most beloved girl groups ever; there's only a handful with equal the talent and discography to match. This was also my first outing with a new camera, and when it was hitting, the shots were fucking hitting.
I really wish Bamboleo was part of the set tho.
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drabbles-mc · 10 months ago
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Take It Down
Sydney Adamu x Richie Jerimovich Carmen Berzatto & Neil Fak
For @storiesofsvu's Holiday Bingo 2023! Prompt: decorations Also completely inspired by @withmyteeth, like so many of my favorite fics are
Warnings: 18+, language
Word Count: 2k
A/N: Shout-out to Cricket for always having a never-ending supply of inspiration for all of my fictional faves. I owe you my life and also like 50% of my masterlist lmao. This is just a fun and silly little something-something!
The Bear Taglist: @garbinge @hausofmamadas @darqchilddaydreamz @ashlingnarcos @narcolini @justreblogginfics (If you want to be added to any of my taglists, please let me know!)
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It wasn’t Christmas yet. There were still a couple weeks to go before it would be Christmas. The rest of the world was in full holiday swing, but stepping into The Bear wiped that entire slate clean. There were no decorations up in the dining room—it looked classy and beautiful the way that it always did, but it wasn’t festive. No one found the lack of décor surprising, per se, because they all knew Carmy and they knew enough about the history of Berzatto Christmas Bullshit to know that he wasn’t going to be decking the halls of the restaurant.
Just because Carmy had a deficit of Christmas spirit, though, didn’t mean that everyone else was in the same boat. No one was feeling bold enough to try and throw a tree up in the dining area, but apparently someone had been bold enough to sprinkle some holiday cheer back in the kitchen.
“What the fuck is this?” Carmen asked, standing directly below the light that was previously hanging perfectly centered above the expo.
Everyone turned to see what he was looking at. Richie stepped over to him, crossing his arms across his chest as he looked at the same spot. “Looks like mistle—”
“I know what it is, cousin,” Carmy cut him off.
“You asked,” Richie shot back with a scoff.
Carmy shook his head. Looking over at Richie, he gestured to the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling. “How, how the—who put this here?”
Richie held his hands up in surrender, was halfway through taking a breath to try and defend himself from the accusations he knew were about to come his way, when he heard someone giggling in the midst of everyone. He dropped his hands back down to his sides, brows coming together as he turned and looked to see who it was, not that it was really much of a question to anyone if they thought about it for more than five seconds.
“Neil Geoff,” Richie said, trying to sound annoyed with him the way that he usually did but struggling because the only thing he enjoyed more than harassing Fak was anyone harassing Carmy. “What do you have to say for yourself?”
He forced himself to get his giggles under control as he shrugged. “I don’t need to say anything for myself.” He gestured above their heads. “It’s mistletoe!”
“Yeah, we know what it is, Fak,” Carmy said. He looked like he was ready to grab a chair from the dining room so he could climb up and take it down himself. “Why did you hang it up?”
“C’mon, it’s almost Christmas! Have some holiday cheer.”
“What the fuck does mistletoe have to do with holiday cheer?” he shot back, running his hand along his browbone like he was going to flatten the stress out of himself.
Richie piped in before Fak could. “Maybe he thought if someone planted one on you, you might loosen the fuck up a little bit.”
Carmy waved him off. “Shut the fuck up.” Looking at Fak, he pointed at him and then up at the mistletoe. “Take it down.”
“I can’t!”
“You can’t?”
“Someone’s gotta kiss under it, Carm! If I take it down before that it’s bad luck!” Fak argued.
“We don’t need more bad luck,” Richie agreed, his tone so coated with sarcastic seriousness it was hard for everyone around them not to laugh.
Carmy was looking back and forth between both of them. “You’re both gonna have some bad luck if no one takes this shit—”
“We need to open,” Sydney begrudgingly inserted herself into the conversation, “so if we could finish this argument after dinner service, that would be ideal, I think.”
“I’m not leaving that shit up for all of dinner service,” Carmy said as he shook his head.
“Why?” Richie asked with a laugh. “Afraid no one is gonna wanna step up and kiss you?”
“Or he’s afraid that everyone is gonna be too busy kissing each other to do their work,” Fak chimed in before Carmy could answer.
“I’m not afraid,” he tried to stop both of them. “I’m fuckin’ annoyed. Take it down!”
“I can’t!”
Syd rolled her eyes throwing her hands up in exasperation. “Oh my god! No one cares!” She turned to Carmy. “We open in three. Can we just let it go?”
“No. I’m not leaving it up there. It’s, it’s fuckin’ ridiculous.”
“You’re fuckin’ ridiculous,” Richie muttered.
Carmy’s gaze snapped over to Richie. “Cousin, I swear to—”
“Two minutes,” Sydney cut him off.
Carmy looked back over at Fak. “Take it down.”
“It’s bad luck!”
Carmy almost wanted to argue that there was no such thing as bad luck, but there was too much in his life and the lives of those around him that pointed to the contrary. However, he didn’t think that his luck, good or bad, was influenced by something as simple and silly as mistletoe hanging over their goddamn expo. But he also knew that if he said something to that effect, Richie was going to come right back with some comment about how he shouldn’t be so sure about that since his love life was either a fucking mess or completely nonexistent.
They also had about sixty seconds left until they had to open.
“Oh my god,” Sydney said as she looked over at Fak. “Neil, please. Just, take it down.”
“Can’t do it. Not until someone does the thing!”
Richie rolled his eyes. “Fuck me. We don’t have all day!” Stepping in, he placed his hands on the outsides of Sydney’s arms and pulled her up and into a kiss. It was short, almost harsh in the way that it knocked the wind out of Sydney’s lungs. It was over almost as soon as it started and Richie wasn’t even looking at Sydney when it was over, immediately turning to Fak and Carmy. “There! We all happy now?”
Carmy smacked Richie, the back of his hand colliding harshly with Richie’s shoulder. “Cousin! You can’t just fuckin—that’s sexual harassment! Don’t just fuckin’ take her and—”
Sydney cut him short, still trying to wrap her head around what had just happened. “Stop, Chef. It’s, uh, it’s fine. I’m good. Let’s just,” she turned to Richie, “let’s just open? Alright? We can do that now?”
Carmy sighed, shaking his head as he stared at Sydney in disbelief. He thought that if anyone was going to be on his side about Richie’s behavior it was going to be her. But there was no time to get into it all. He also had the feeling that the more he talked about it, the angrier he was going to get about it, and the more that Richie was going to give him a hard time.
“Fine, fine. Yeah.” He looked at Richie. “Go ahead and open, cousin.”
Richie nodded, the self-satisfied grin on his face enough to make Carmy want to hit him again only this time with a closed fist to his jaw. “Yes, Chef.”
Once Richie was heading out to the dining area, Carmy turned back to Fak. “Take that shit down. Now.”
“Alright! Alright. Now I can.” He fell into his half-muttering. “No more bad luck now. Would be nice if you had some holiday cheer but—”
“Fak!” Carmy shouted to stop him.
“Taking it down!” Fak said, finally stepping away to get his ladder so he could restore the kitchen to its former glory.
Carmy dismissed the rest of the small crowd that had gathered, telling them to get back to wherever the fuck they were before everything started. They were about to have people coming in to eat, after all, and none of the customers were going to wait or give a shit about their arguments back in the kitchen.
When everyone else had dispersed, Carmy returned his attention to Sydney. “Sorry about that. You, uh, you good?” He knew there must’ve been a more graceful way to ask that question but grace hadn’t ever been his strong suit.
“I’m fine,” she said, giving a small and dismissive wave of her hand. “I’m fine and we’re open now so I really gotta…” she trailed off and gestured towards where the orders were about to start flowing in.
“Right, right.”
He stepped out of the way, acutely aware that there were about a thousand other things that he could have and should have been doing, but he couldn’t quite pry himself away. He stared at her for another moment, gaze flicking over to the glass pane that let him see out into the dining area. He watched as Richie saw people to their seats, and he would have easily wasted much more time looking back and forth between the two of them if Fak hadn’t reappeared with a ladder.
“Here to strip away the only piece of Christmas The Bear has ever—”
“Just take it down,” Carmy stopped his sentence short.
“I’m going!”
Sydney was trying not to laugh at the two of them and was barely successful. She wasn’t laughing but she was still smiling. “Can’t believe you’re making him take that down now when we’re about to start—”
“I figured you of all people would want it gone,” Carmy argued, defensive already. “Keep you from getting fuckin’ harassed by Richie again.”
Syd was shaking her head as she finished getting herself settled and organized. “I’m just saying maybe it’s not the best time.”
“Am I leaving this up here?” Fak asked from the top of the ladder. “Because I’ll leave it up here.”
“No!” they both answered in unison.
“Dammit!” Fak made no move to hide his exasperation and disappointment.
Richie strode back into the kitchen just in time to hear Fak voice his feelings. He couldn’t help but to laugh. “If you want me to kiss you, Neil Geoff, you’re gonna have to find another way.”
“Yeah, right,” Fak said as he got down from the ladder, mistletoe in his hand, “like I would ever want to kiss you.” He shoved the small plant with its pretty red bow right into Richie’s chest. “Not even to avoid bad luck.”
Fak was walking away before Richie could try and come back with a clever response. Instead, Richie looked over at Carmy, waiting for him to say something. He must’ve also been struggling to come up with something pithy and cutting to say, because he just gave one last shake of his head in Richie’s direction before turning on his heel so he could go do his actual job. The one that had nothing to do with holiday decorations.
Richie looked down at the mistletoe in his hand and then looked over at Sydney who was already immersed in her work. Walking over, he stopped so that he was standing right next to her. Sydney had watched the whole thing happen in her peripheral and had made a concentrated effort to not say anything to him about anything, let alone what had happened before. She didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing that she was still thinking about it, that she had any type of feeling in the wake of it.
“Want the good luck charm?” Richie asked with a laugh. He dangled the mistletoe in front of her, watching her shake her head and try not to burst into laughter. “Something to remember me by? Maybe even cash in on later?”
“There are plenty of things that you need to be doing right now that aren’t this, Chef,” she replied but avoided answering the question.
“Want me to leave it in your locker?” he teased.
Sydney hated the fact that she could feel warmth creeping up her neck and into her face. “Richie.”
Richie laughed and clapped her lightly on the shoulder. “I’ll leave it in your locker.”
She rolled her eyes. “Then can you run these plates?” she called after him.
“Sure thing, Chef!” he yelled back, laughing the entire time.
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lovebombs4life · 1 year ago
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hate sex with luke 😙🙏🏻🩵
animosity - l.r.h.
requested: yes! thank you for the request, and keep sending them in :)
a/n: y’all love the hate fucking concept LMAO i can’t blame you.
cw: SMUT!! slight angst, rough sex, swearing, choking, reader goes into head space, fluffy end
———
i had never met a person who was more insufferable than luke hemmings. i tried to be nice to him, i really did. i don’t know what i did that made him hate me so quickly, but i know he’d rather die than be alone in a room with me.
we had met because of your mutual friends. michael had introduced me to the group, and i had been so excited to meet them all. when i had met luke, it was like he decided he hated me, right then and there.
i had made efforts to talk to him and involve him in conversations, but he would only glare at me and respond with a dry tone.
the decision to hangout with everyone tonight at michael’s apartment was a bold one. i knew luke was going to be there, and i knew he’d avoid me the whole night if i was lucky.
sometimes he’d pretend i wasn’t there. other times, not so much. he would mock me and just be a massive dick.
i decided to not worry about that for tonight, and continue getting ready before heading to michael’s.
i had put on my usual mascara and eyeliner, and decided on wearing one of my favorite cardigans over a tank top, and a small flowing skirt.
as i left my house, i texted michael letting him know id be there soon. once i arrived, i knocked on the door, immediately being let in, and pulled into a hug by michael. i laughed at his actions.
michael was almost like a little brother to me, despite him being a few years older. i walked through the door, seeing everyone was already here.
“we were just getting drinks out, want one?” michael asked. i glanced over at the group, seeing luke’s eyes already burning into mine. i looked back at michael, nodding my head.
he passed me a shot, giving me a wine cooler afterwards to get the taste from the shot out of my mouth. i walked to the living room, sitting down on the floor, leaning my back against the couch.
luke’s eyes still stuck on me with a scowl. i ignored it, trying to enjoy my time with my favorite people. we sat there drinking, talking about anything and everything. at this point, i was the only person truly sober, besides luke.
we all started gossiping, talking about people we knew and didn’t necessarily like. “i swear, the chick next door to me is actually crazy. she’s got this boyfriend who just yells at her constantly and just spews insults at her, yet she’s still with him!” i spoke in disbelief.
“maybe you guys have something in common.” luke muttered. heads turned to him, confused looks on everyone’s face. “what does that mean, luke?” i questioned.
he smirked, knowing he was about to get a rise out of me. “i mean that you’re both crazy.” he spoke flatly.
“and why is that?” i continued asking. he just chuckled before answering me.
“she’s crazy in the sense she lets this guy keep coming back. you’re crazy in the sense that you think any guy will come back to you.” he spat.
“what are you trying to say about me luke? that im desperate?” i asked. he shrugged.
“if the shoe fits. i think we all know you’re a bit of a slut, y/n.” he spoke. tears pricked my eyes.
“woah, no one, and i mean no one, thinks that about y/n.” caluk spoke up. i bit down on my lip trying not to let luke win and see me cry.
he continued smirking, knowing i was holding back. i stood up, walking to where he was. once close enough, i stood there staring down at him.
he raised an eyebrow, curious what i was doing. i quickly pulled back my hand, slapping him hard across the face. “fuck you, luke.” i spoke, walking to michael’s guest room, closing the door.
i had sucked back the tears, now only letting myself be angry. what the hell did i ever do to him? why did he hate me so much? why did-
my thoughts were cut off by the door opening. i turned my head. of course it was him. he quickly crossed the room to me, grabbing my wrists.
“you think you can just get away with that? you’re sorely mistaken, darling.” he said darkly. he pushed me to the wall, kissing me hard.
i gasped at his actions. if he hated me so much, why was he doing this? it was almost as if he read my mind.
“wanna know why i fucking hate you, y/n? cause you act like you’re so fucking perfect. like you’re too good for anyone. too good for me.” he growled. i raised my brow.
“i tried to be nice to you, luke. you’re just a fucking asshole.” i spat back at him. he pinned me to the wall with his hips. i gasped at the feeling, taking notice of his hard cock.
“i knew you were a fucking slut.” he smirked, seeing my reaction to him pressing against me. he grabbed my throat squeezing it harshly.
i let out a moan, my eyes rolling back. he groaned, kissing me again, roughly. i whimpered as he held onto my throat, making him laugh darkly.
he pulled away, staring into my eyes. “so gorgeous.” he cooed, making my face heat up.
“what, so the hating me thing was all an act?” i teased.
“don’t test me, y/n. it may be all an act but i’m gonna fuck you like it wasn’t.” he spoke boldly, making me melt into his touch.
he swiftly pulled my top off, throwing it across the room. he kissed down my chest, leaving rough hickies along my neck and collarbones. i gasped, loving the feeling.
he slid my skirt off, dipping his hand underneath my panties. his fingers rubbed my clit, causing me to moan. he continued suckling on my neck, purple marks already showing.
without warning, his fingers slipped inside my heat, curling upwards. my knees weakened, causing luke to grab one of my thighs to hold me up. i tugged on his hair, pulling him back to kiss me.
“please, need more.” i begged. he laughed, continuing his actions. “you think you’re gonna get what you want?” he asked. i pouted, making him bite down on my lip.
i squealed, throwing my head back. he removed his hands from me before i could get close to cumming, causing me to whine.
he picked me up, dropping me onto the bed. he pulled my panties off, unbuckling his belt afterwards. he kicked his jeans and boxers off, making me squeeze my thighs at the site of him.
his dick was hard and red, begging for attention. he stroked himself a few times, before slamming into me. i let out a scream, but it was cut short as luke cupped his hand around my mouth.
he smirked at my position. “so fuckin pretty. this is why i’ve hated you baby. cause i haven’t been the one wrecking you.” he grunted, pulling my leg above his shoulder.
i gasped as he hit deeper, and at such a fast pace. the pain and pleasure sent my head spinning. tears fell from my cheeks, making luke laugh as he wiped away the tears.
“don’t cry angel, you’re taking me so well.” he praised, still slamming into me. i cried out in pleasure from his words.
my eyes started rolling back, and my head felt fuzzy. i felt my stomach tighten, signaling that i was close. “g-gonna cum.” i squeaked, feeling myself release on his cock.
he squeezed my thighs, pulling out as he came on my stomach. i was still gasping for air, my head still feeling foggy.
i stared off at the ceiling, my body still shaking. “y/n? you in there?” i hear luke ask me. when he didn’t get a response from me, he sat up, shaking me. he started panicking. grabbing me, and pulling me close.
“angel, you’re scaring me. need you to use your words, are you alright?” he questioned. i slowly started to come down, squeezing his shoulder as he held me.
he sighed in relief, stroking my hair. “was i good?” i asked meekly. he nodded his head.
“did so good. might’ve fucked you too good.” he boasted. i smiled into his chest.
“so you don’t really hate me?” i looked up at him. he shook his head, kissing mine.
“i only hated you because you weren’t mine.” he whispered.
“i wanna be yours, luke.” i said softly.
“then be mine, y/n.”
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thepeachyfaerie · 1 year ago
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STOPPING EARLY ACCESS
Hey everyone, I hope everyone is doing well!
I have made the decision to stop releasing CC for early access. Starting July, all CC will be immediately public upon release.
There are a lot of factors that led to this and it's been something I've been debating for a while.
When I started making CC back in 2020, I didn't know very many creators and all the people I did know were either on TSR or on Patreon doing early access. I was unemployed at the time and decided it would be fun to do early access for my CC and make a little bit of side money while I searched for a job. Nothing really came of my Patreon, I think I made like $30 a month at most, until the 21st Birthday collab with EA came out in February 2021. After that, things kinda took off in a way. I got a lot more attention than I think I expected or was prepared to have, and while it was amazing, it also put an odd pressure on me. I struggled extremely heavily with imposter syndrome (I still do), thinking I didn't deserve that opportunity and it should've gone to someone more established in the community.
CC-creating became my job. I was making about $200 a month while unable to work due to deteriorating mental and physical health. I was in an extremely bad place mentally and wanted desperately to have CC-making become my career because I thought it would be better than an in-person job. In some ways, it was. However, in other ways, it introduced new issues.
I think starting in 2022 I was struggling a lot with motivation. I felt pressured to constantly make content to the point where I started doing the opposite. I love making CC but it got to the point where I was dreading it because I knew I HAD to do it, if that makes sense. I monetized a passion of mine, put insane pressure on myself, and I crumbled. Whenever I would do anything other than make CC, I would guilt myself so hard for not being productive.
Then the "paywall/early access" debacle happened in mid-2022. If you weren't there, basically EA had updated their TOS to ban permanent paywalled CC, however it was phrased in a way that made it seem like early access CC wasn't allowed. Many people, myself included, stopped doing early access CC to respect this. However, not even a week later, they updated their TOS to allow early access CC with a reasonable time frame (which has generally been understood to be 2-3 weeks, which I've always kept it within that time frame). Some creators stayed without early access, while others implemented it again, one of those people being myself. 
This... caused a lot of backlash, lmao. A LOT of people online were very upset with anyone who did this. In my eyes, I was doing early access to support myself through college while disabled and unable to work a "normal" job. To these people, I was greedy and taking advantage of the community. I got so, so many hate messages and death threats in my Tumblr inbox that I turned off anon messages, and to this day I still have anxiety every time I see a new message because I'm positive it's going to be hate.
I even got called out by name on a few occasions, which was definitely something difficult to handle while already in mental health crisis. One specific person was very angry I was putting Re/Gshade presets behind early access. 
I want to make something very clear. I understand. I understand how frustrating it is to not be able to get something you want immediately. I understand that The Sims 4 is just a game. I understand where these people are coming from because I know I've gotten disheartened when I saw someone had a piece I NEEDED but it was in early access. It's frustrating! However to me, I saw it as monetizing my hard work and time. I still think that's justified, however I know a vast majority of this community does not. That does not mean that the hate and aggression directed towards me was justified. At the end of the day, I'm still a person who loves The Sims 4, loves creating, and wants to share it with the world.
There was also the issue of reuploading. I know it's inevitable, people will share early access CC no matter what. I tried to tell myself that the only people downloading it were people who wouldn't pay for my CC anyway, so there was no harm done. In actuality, I noticed my patron number dropping. But at the end of the day, the money doesn't matter to me. It was the principal of the act. I felt really disrespected and like my hard work and energy meant nothing to people. I KNOW that wasn't intended by anyone downloading from these places, but I'm a very sensitive person and it still hurt. 
At the end of the day, I know that early access CC is hurting me more than it's helping me. I know that sounds dramatic and maybe it is, but I need to prioritize my mental health. I'm going into my 3rd year of college next fall and I need to start planning for when I graduate.
Will this change in the future? Probably not. I love making CC and I want it to stay that way. I don't know if uploads will be consistent at this point, if they'll increase or decrease, etc. I'm going to try my best but I want to work with myself and allow myself time and breaks if I need it.
All tiers will be converted to donation-only, although I will still offer my one-click CC folder for the $3.50 tier. 
Apologies that this got kind of personal, I've been ruminating on this for months and needed to get it off my chest. Again, I'm a very sensitive person, always have been, and at the end of the day my mental health matters more than any money I could make.
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whiskey-tango-matcha · 1 year ago
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Critical (m, cold)
It’s an Elijah fic! Okay, so, I wrote this fic specifically for @waterfallofspace because she’s sent me so many amazing prompts and I’ve been blueballing her saying I’m going to use them. So I used as many of the prompts you sent in as I could in this one, along with a prompt from an anon about a critic coming to the restaurant, and this text post from @ithadtobesneezing. What can I say, all of you inspire me :) 
Hope you all like it, let me know if there’s anything you’d like to see in the future, and I’ll stop rambling so you can read it lmao. 
A little under 3k words. cw: male snz, colds, mention of contagion but no explicit contagion, vertigo/dizziness, a passing out moment, light mess. 
Critical
“We have a problem.”
If there was one sentence Elijah didn’t want to hear today, that was it. “I haven’t even set my shit down yet,” he said to Greyson, running a hand down his face. “Can we have a problem in twenty minutes, when I’ve mentally prepared myself?”
“Unfortunately, it’s an urgent one,” Greyson said, pushing his computer monitor towards his boss. He had the reservation sheet pulled up; Elijah raised an eyebrow.
“Is the problem OpenTable?” he asked, dropping his bag on the ground and siting heavily in his chair. Greyson gave Elijah a look and tapped the screen hard enough to brighten the spot he was touching.
“The problem is this,” Greyson spelled out, clicking on the name Trevor James. Elijah, still not following, just shook his head. “It’s a critic,” Greyson said.
Elijah huffed out a laugh. “Grey,” he said, “I know every critic in this city’s name. Trevor James is not a critic.”
“Wanna bet?” Greyson asked, pulling out his cell phone and clicking the screen rapidly. He held the device up to Elijah’s face, making the other man squint and pull back from the bright light.
“Christ, Greyson, hold it a little closer why don’t you,” Elijah pushed his glasses up his nose and grabbed the phone from the chef, whose eyes widened in sudden realization.
“Oh, fuck, you’re wearing your glasses,” Greyson groaned. “Oh, shit. Tell me you didn’t catch the plague that the servers have been passing around.”
“I didn’t catch the plague the servers have been passing around,” Elijah parroted, a liquid sniffle betraying him immediately. Greyson slammed his head into his hands, defeated. “I didn’t,” Elijah insisted, squinting hard at the phone. It was a conversation between Greyson and a chef at an Italian spot in the financial district; the chef at the other restaurant was warning Greyson about the newest alias of the New York Time’s most renowned food critic, Natalia Gomez, who had showed up at his place unexpectedly and docked them a star. Elijah knew Natalia well; they had been first acquainted when he was managing at Eleven Madison Park in his twenties, and she was working for Forbes; she was known for being ruthless even back then.  Apparently, ‘Trevor James’ had made her way through half of Manhattan under the fake name, collecting stars with every unexpected drop-in. It was dirty, but it was propelling her to national attention – the only thing critics really gave a fuck about at the end of the day.
“Lij, you really cannot be sick for this service, like I’m sorry but we can’t lose a star; we just got two last year, and -”
“I’m fine, Greyson,” Elijah snapped, placing the chef’s phone back in front of him. “I – HNGTSHH-ue!” Elijah caught the sudden sneeze in his elbow, cursing himself for the comically-poor timing. He sniffled again and sat himself up, attempting to look as put-together, as unruffled as possible. “I’mb good.” Fuck.
“Fuck, Elijah,” Greyson moaned. “This woman is going to tear us to fucking pieces, and you pick today of all days to get fucking sick?”
Elijah gave Greyson a look that could cut glass. “I’m not sick.”
“Your nose is literally twitching.”
“Fuck off, you dickhead it is n- hhNGSTHH! IGTSZCH! Huhh -!” Elijah allowed himself a moment stuck in pre-sneeze torture before putting his arm down and sniffling pitifully. “Okay,” he said, grabbing a tissue. “I have a cold. Happy? It’s ndothing. I’ve done full events with a fucking cold, I think I can handle one critic for one night.”
Greyson was already pawing through their medicine drawer like a madman. “Dayquil,” he said, placing the bottle of orange liquid on the desk. “Cough syrup. Ibuprofen. I don’t think -”
“Chef,” Elijah said, an attempt to snap Greyson out of his mania. It seemed to work; Greyson whipped his head towards his boss, the endless bottles of medicine seemingly forgotten for the time being. “What I need from you is to go prepare to cook the meal of a lifetime. Okay? I’m a grown man. I can handle myself.”
The two of them held eye contact for a few moments before Greyson sighed and looked back at the reservations. “Okay,” he said. “Just… let me know if you need -”
“I won’t need anything,” Elijah insisted. “Just go do what you’re best a- ahh… ahhTSHZUE!”
The chef set his jaw as Elijah yanked another tissue from their shared box. “Bless, boss.”
“Go do your fuckin’ job.”
***
Elijah didn’t have a cold.
Or maybe more accurately, he didn’t just have a cold.
From the moment his feet had hit the floor this morning, Elijah knew that he’d picked up the awful flu the servers had swapped back and forth for weeks. His head and neck hurt, his lymph nodes were swollen, and he could feel the tendrils of a soon-to-be fever snaking up his back before he even got in the shower. The servers had complained over and over about this illness, but he’d assumed they were all just being dramatic, as servers are wont to be.
He assumed wrong.
“Hey, Elijah, so I think we should put the critic at twenty-seven, I know you had her at thirty-one but -”
“GTSHHH-uhh! hhhNGTSHZUE! ITSHZ-ue! Hhh…”
Mark, caught completely off-guard by the intensity of Elijah’s sneezes, placed the floor chart he’d been holding on an unset table and pulled out a chair for his boss to sit in. Elijah did so, grateful, and invited Mark to sit next to him with a flourish of his hand. He did, and regarded Elijah with a look of disquiet before addressing the elephant in the room. “Um...you good?”
Elijah gave Mark a watery glare. “Yeah,” he said, his voice low and congested. “What were you sayigg?”
The floor manager warily picked up the floor chart again and pointed to the two tables he’d been considering for the critic. “So, twenty-seven still has the city view, but the sun doesn’t set near it. At thirty-one, she’s going to get the sun right in her eyes; see, she’s coming at six, and -”
“HFTSHH! HRRSHH-ue! HTSHHH-uhh! Fuck – hhhETSZHUE!” Elijah doubled over at the waist, barely able to get a hand to his mouth before the volley of sneezes escaped. Mark, eyes wide, fast-walked away from the table, only to return a few moments later with a box of tissues. His boss pulled a handful out, grateful, and cleaned himself up before regarding the younger man.
“Sorry,” he said, sitting up and rubbing an eye behind his glasses. “Yeah. Twenty-sevend sounds like a good pland.” Elijah directed a wheezing cough into his elbow and cleared his throat. “Andything else?”
“Uhh… I mean, other than once again asking if you’re okay, then no, nothing else.”
The GM attempted a smile. “I’mb okay,” he said. “Is Riley on tondight?”
Mark nodded, silent. Elijah gave a nod in return.
“Let’s put her on Natalia, okay? I ndeed someone strong serving her.” Mark nodded again and escaped to the kitchen, leaving Elijah to wallow. This is going to be such a goat fuck, he thought, pushing himself to a standing position and grabbing the table when a wave of vertigo passed over him. Oh, shit.
A minute or two must have passed while Elijah closed his eyes and willed himself to stay upright. Finally, the vertigo unraveled its fingers from his aching head and he opened his eyes. For now, he was fine.
Elijah walked carefully back to the office in search of more Dayquil, those two little words rattling in his fevered mind. For now.
***
“Guys, the mbost important reservation tondight is Trevor Jambes at six o’clock. It’s an alias for Natalia Gomez, the critic at the Time’s. Riley is ond it, but I really ndeed you all to – to… hhh…” Elijah trailed off, an arm raising to catch a sneeze that didn’t seem like it was going to come. After a moment, Elijah lowered his arm and sniffled. “I ndeed you guys to be on your best behavior. Okay? Ndo gossiping on the floor, everyone ndeeds to check their uniforms for spots, just… let’s all act like we’re civilized tondight. O – HNGTSHHH-ue!”
“Bless, Elijah,” a few of the servers chorused. Elijah nodded, pulled out a tissue from his now-ever-present box, and blew his nose quietly. Greyson stood and placed a hand on Elijah’s shoulder to signal that he would take over.
“If not for the restaurant, be on your best behavior for your boss, who one of you infected with your disgusting germs,” Greyson joked, prompting a collective chuckle from the group. “We’re already biting our nails waiting for Elijah’s nose to blow this whole thing for us, don’t make us worry about you blowing it, too.” Elijah reddened, and the servers laughed in earnest this time.
“Hilarious, Chef,” Elijah muttered, rolling his eyes. Greyson did as he was told, while Elijah held on as tightly as he could to his consciousness. The wave of dizziness earlier seemed to set off a ripple effect, and now anytime Elijah moved his head a little too quickly he was about three seconds away from passing out.
“...boss? Hellooo? Earth to Elijah!”
Elijah yanked himself back to the present and looked up to see Greyson standing above him, looking worried. The servers had exited the dining room to go eat family meal – when did that happen? - and the two of them were alone. “Yeah, what’s – hhNGTSHZZUE! Guh, fuck. Snrf. Whadt’s up?” Elijah asked, wiping his nose on the back of his hand.
Greyson raised an eyebrow and sat back down next to his boss. “Are you sure you’re alright? I mean, you took Dayquil, right? How are you still sneezing so much?”
Elijah gave Greyson a look. “I have a cold, Grey. Combes with the territory.”
“Yeah, but like… you also look fucking awful, dude. Like not trying to be an asshole, but you look like you’re about to keel over. Do you have a - ?”
“HNGTSHH-ue! HTSZZHHUE! HhhNGTSHZUE!” Elijah wrenched away from Greyson, managing to bury his face in his elbow just in time. Greyson pulled back, pushed the tissues towards his boss, and waited for the other man to clean himself up before gently placing a hand on Elijah’s forehead.
“Dude,” he said when Elijah pulled away. “You’re burning up.”
Elijah rolled his eyes – mistake, he thought, steadying himself on the table once again. He took a big breath and swallowed painfully before responding. “Shut the fuck up, Grey. I’mb fine.”
“Yeah? Because you’re holding on to the table for dear life right now.”
The GM bit the inside of his cheek and let go of the table, allowing the wave of dizziness to wash over and move past him. When it did, he regarded Greyson again. “I’mb good. Just go get ready to service. I’ll take some mbore meds. Dond’t worry about mbe. Okay?”
Greyson stood and shook his head. “Whatever you say, Lij,” he said, defeated. “You trying to ignore the fuckin’ flu has nothing to do with me. Try not to sneeze on the critic, okay?” He exited to the kitchen, and Elijah slowly lowered his head between his legs. He took some deep breaths. Everything is going to be okay, he told himself. It has to.
***
By the time six o’clock rolled around, Elijah was 100% sure he wasn’t going to make it through the night without passing out.
The first hour of service, he’d been able to sit in the office and try to hype himself up, while avidly avoiding the looks Greyson flashed him every few minutes. That was the easy part; the moment the critic showed up and the hostess came back looking for him however he really didn’t know how he was going to pull this off. “Yeah,” he said to the concerned-looking hostess. “I’mb coming. Thanks.”
Elijah took a deep breath and pushed himself to a standing position with little drama, then swallowed hard as he put on his blazer. He checked his reflection in the tiny mirror Greyson had put up in their office a few months ago – looking absolutely horrifying, congrats – then grimaced and looked away. He took one more slow breath in, uncapped the Dayquil he’d been chugging the past ten hours, and took a long swig. Good as it’s going to get, he thought, walking out of the office and pushing through the swinging kitchen doors.
The restaurant was packed; it was a Tuesday night, but it was spring break and every local in the area knew that Elliot’s was the place to see and be seen, even during the week. Elijah breezed past the server’s station, ignoring the looks the servers were flashing him, and approached the host stand.
“Is she still at twenty-sevend?” Elijah asked the hostess, and she nodded without looking back at her boss. Elijah nodded in return, swallowed hard, and waltzed into the dining room.
Natalia Gomez was not the kind of critic the Time’s usually employed; that is to say, she was anything but unremarkable, which was generally what you wanted in your critics. Natalia certainly stood out in a crowd; tall, curvaceous, big hair and a bigger laugh – stunning was the first word that came to Elijah’s mind, but he shook it away as quickly as it entered. Critics were the bane of every restaurant owner’s existence. Not meant for ogling, but for tearing to shreds from the comfort of the back-of-house, post-service.
“Good evening, Natalia,” Elijah said, approaching the critic’s table. “Good to see you, as always.”
Natalia turned away from the window with ease and smiled at Elijah. “Elijah,” she said. “Can’t pull one over on you, can I?”
Elijah returned the smile, with difficulty. “It appears ndot,” he said, clearing his throat. “Chef has prepared a tasting menu for you this evening, if you’re interested.”
The critic laughed, the sound light and tinkling like water poured into glass. “You know me too well,” she said, handing her menu over. Elijah nodded, picked up her bottle of wine, and refilled her glass.
“I’ll send himb out shortly,” Elijah said, placing the bottle back where it was. “Enjoy your night, Natalia.”
Elijah turned and walked away from the table, not stopping at the host stand, not stopping at the server station, not stopping until he was at the pass, in Greyson’s line of sight.
“Chef,” he said, as clearly as he could. “Tasting mbenu’s a go.”
Greyson nodded and signaled Matt to start putting Natalia’s first course together. He turned back to Elijah and asked, “Are you going to take the first course out?”
The GM swallowed hard, grabbed onto the prep table, and shook his head. “I don’t think -” he started, then stopped suddenly. Elijah’s grip on the table loosened, he blinked hard, and his eyes rolled back. He felt his knees buckle, heard Greyson say, “Lij!” and finally lost consciousness.
***
When Elijah came to, he was laid out on the infamous tablecloth bed that every manager seemed to succumb to when they were ill. It took a moment, but when he remembered where he was and what was going on, Elijah attempted to push himself to standing.
“Whooaa, boss, go ahead and stay right there,” Greyson, who Elijah hadn’t realized was sitting behind him in one of the office rolling chairs, said, gently pushing Elijah back to the ground. “You’re not going anywhere til I take you home.”
Elijah slowly sunk back down and cleared his throat. “Why aren’t you cookigg? Shouldn’t you be mbakigg Natalia’s tasting?”
Greyson looked down at his boss with bemusement. “Natalia’s long gone, boss,” he said. “She ate, we talked for awhile – she said she loved everything. She sends her regards; she said she’s sorry she booked on a night when you’re so sick.” Greyson turned his chair to fully regard his boss. “You never told me you guys knew each other.”
The GM shrugged weakly. “Doesn’t mbatter, right? She’s still a critic. She doesn’t give a fuck if I’mb her best friend; her job is to critique at any cost.”
Greyson knitted his eyebrows together. “I mean, but she does give a fuck though, Lij,” he said, handing Elijah a bottle of water that the GM gratefully gulped from. “She felt badly. I feel badly.” Elijah gave Greyson a confused look, and the chef shrugged. “I know I made you feel like you were going to ruin our star rating because you’re sick,” he said. “I’m sorry. You know I care about your well-being, right? Like, more than I care about stars.”
The GM closed his eyes slowly and took a deep breath. This conversation would have been a lot even if he wasn’t flu-ridden and fever-addled; in this state, he was sure he was about to burst into overwhelmed, sick tears. “I know, Grey,” he managed. “Thangk you.”
“Anytime,” Greyson said, clearly grateful to be done with the conversation. “Now, just lay there and try not to keel over, okay? I’m just going to check out the line, and then I’ll drive you home.”
Elijah managed a weak smile. “I’ll do my best,” he said, and thanked whatever God there was that Greyson’s back was turned when a single, grateful tear fell onto the tablecloth nest.
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blossomwritesthings · 2 years ago
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𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐟𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐞𝐬
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pairing: jisung x fem!reader (afab)
genre: idol!jisung. estranged!jisung. softdom!jisung. needy!jisung. nearing breakup. hurt/comfort. angst. smut - MDNI, 18+ only. reader pov. established relationship.
content & warnings: explicit & strong language. mild thematic elements. lots of angst. mentions of estrangement/breakup. slight possessive behavior from jisung. pet names (princess, babygirl/babydoll, etc.). smut warnings below cut!! 
word count: 9.4k
summary: things between you and jisung have slowly fizzled out within the past few months. the tension only gets worse after a heated argument that almost ends with your breakup, which ultimately forces him to prove to you how much he still truly loves you.
18+ warnings: dirty talk. oral (f. receiving). fingering. breast/nipple play. slight dom/sub undertones. strength kink. dirty thoughts. hair pulling. praise kink. slight dumbification kink if you squint. unprotected sex (keep it safe, my friends). slight perv behavior from jisung. mentions of masterbation. sweet lovemaking.
a/n: i randomly decided to write this this week after the idea popped into my head, and i was like... hmm, i wonder what would happen if ji's s/o was contemplating a breakup. and then one thing led to another and i found myself fangirling over the idea of jisung being an oral sex god lmao, so here we are!! 😂 also, YES, i'm FULLY on board with the idea of him loving the pet name 'princess.' 😩 lmk what ya'll think of this one... feedback and reblogs are much-appreciated! 🥰
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ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʀᴇᴘᴏsᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ sɪᴛᴇs (ᴛʜɪs ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇs ᴛʀᴀɴsʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴs). © ʙʟᴏssᴏᴍᴡʀɪᴛᴇsᴛʜɪɴɢs ⤐ ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛs ʀᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ
Truly, your boyfriend was being very fucking unreasonable. Jisung had been working so hard, for so long, it was almost a miracle that he was still standing upright from all of the shit that he put his body through. 
Produce music, work out, practice, perform, film, repeat. 
Every. Single. Day. 
 Even you got sick of your job once in a while - so you couldn’t imagine what it was like for him, to wake up every single day and do the same grind over and over again. 
But to your utter surprise, he seemed to love it. Sure, it was stressful as hell and toxic at times, but that just made it all the more precious to him, it would seem. Plus, it was a bonus that he got to experience such ups and downs of being an idol with his seven closest friends in the entire world. 
 However, there were many drawbacks to his busy lifestyle. 
 And one of them was the fact that he never seemed to catch a break - never seemed to be home long enough for you.
 Even when he had a ‘day off’ on a rare occasion, he always filled his time producing new music, practicing a new choreo, or hanging out at the studio with Chan and Changbin. 
 And doing all of this didn’t help to make your relationship any stronger. 
 If anything, it left little time for the two of you to truly connect. Especially within the past few months or so. Mainly, you’d just see each other in passing throughout the workdays, as you came to and fro from your shared apartment. And when you guys weren’t rushing off to your separate schedules, you were fucking quick and effortless around the apartment. 
 At the beginning of the relationship, the sex had been amazing. Mind-blowing, even. Jisung knew his way around a woman’s body, and he wasn’t afraid to use his skills. His tongue was especially powerful - which you gave credit to his fast rapping skills for - and he liked using it on you to tease and tease until you were a sopping wet, begging mess underneath him. The flirt.
 But that was a long time ago. 
 And now? 
 Well, let’s just say that the sex wasn’t that… mind-blowing anymore. 
 You couldn’t remember when it had started to feel different. But then one day, it just lost its unique touch. And then, the sessions changed from long nights of lovemaking in the bedroom to quickies up against the shower wall or on the kitchen counter. 
 There was this odd kind of… distance that was floating between the two of you. You didn’t know if Jisung felt it, since his mind was always so occupied with thoughts of his work and Stray Kids. 
 You, on the other hand? It was all you could think about. And every time he walked through the doorway of the apartment after a long, arduous day at work, your heartstrings pulled just a little tighter at the sight of his slumped form. Droopy shoulders, mussed hair, skin sticky with sweat from a workout or practice. 
 It just didn’t feel the same anymore. 
 It didn’t… 
 Didn’t even feel like your boyfriend cared about you. 
 The passion that had been there between you two at the beginning was erased, and in its stead was an odd, shallow kind of companionship. 
 Yeah, companionship. That’s what it was. 
 But definitely not romance. 
 So when you awoke from the long nap that you had been taking one Saturday night, your first thought was to peer over at the other end of the bed. 
 Empty. 
 Void of any life- 
 Of Jisung. 
 You let out a dry, humorless scoff. Typical 
 Your week had been jam-packed with work and it was so exhausting, so the nap had been much needed. Sitting up from your pillow, you ran a few fingers through your hair. In silence, you shuffled out of the bedroom and into the kitchen. 
 But you completely froze up at the sight of your boyfriend sitting at his desk that was placed in the corner of the small living room. You hadn’t expected to see him. It was only nine at night, and he was never home this early on a weekend night. He was hunched over his keyboard, nimble fingers flying across the keys as he typed, head bopping to a tune that was running through the large headphones he had on. 
 Just then your stomach rumbled, and you decided to pull your attention away from him. He was busy anyway, it’s not like he was going to talk to you. You made quick work in the kitchen and were soon sitting at the small, two-chaired dining room table with a plate of scrambled eggs and browned, pre-cooked sausages on a plate laid in front of you. You sipped on a tall glass of orange juice as you absently scrolled through your Instagram feed on your phone. Trying to pass the time away mindlessly.
 You distinctly felt your boyfriend’s presence in the corner of the adjoining living room, but he was apparently oblivious to you sitting there, eating dinner. Alone. Just like you had done for the last- God knows how long. 
 You honestly couldn’t even remember the last time you two had shared a meal. And all at once, the eggs turned sour in your mouth. You swallowed around the painful lump in your throat, the tears starting to prick at the corners of your eyes. 
 “Oh- Y/N, I didn’t see you there.” Jisung’s voice rang out across the small apartment, and the sound of it momentarily forced your spine to go rigid, making you sit up a little taller in your chair. He didn’t even use any pet name when acknowledging you then - like he hadn’t done for a long time now. 
 Just… Y/N. 
 “What are you still doing up?” He asked. Like he expected you to already be in bed. To be sleeping and dead to the world. 
 Like he didn’t even fucking want you around. 
 “Was having dinner,” you started, voice a little scratchy from the unshed tears. You pushed away from the table, standing from your chair. “But I’m not hungry anymore.” 
 As you made your way back over to the bedroom, Jisung’s voice stopped you in your tracks. “Wait- you’re just… leaving the food there?” Not, where are you going? I’ve missed you. Come here, let’s talk. He only cared about the damn food.
 You waved a nonchalant hand in the air back his way, “You can finish it, I don’t care.” And with that, you closed the bedroom door shut behind you with a quiet click. 
 Immediately, you sank to the floor. Face buried in your hands, violent sobs wracking through your body quietly. 
 Because where - and when - had it all gone so wrong? 
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A week passed after that, blurring and bleeding together into so many other similar ones of the past. Wake up, watch Jisung leave the apartment at six in the morning for work, then get ready for work yourself, spend most of the day at your job before coming home at seven, then make dinner, eat it by yourself, get ready for bed, fall asleep at nine. 
 These days, it was rare for you to even see Jisung enter the apartment at night. Sometimes, you wondered if he even came home anymore. Because truly, what was here for him anyway? He had no regard for you. He didn’t care at all, it would seem. 
 You were bustling about the bathroom, finishing up applying your moisturizer just before you slipped into bed for the night. Then all of a sudden, the door opened, and in filed Jisung. 
 He was already clad in his pajamas - baggy cream-colored sweatpants and a thin white cotton t-shirt. You were dressed in a matching set close to his, but your pants were shorts and your white cotton shirt was a crop top. You two had gotten the set the year before, as a cute second-anniversary gift. Like it really mattered now...
 Jisung moved in silence, and then he was upon you, pressing your back into his muscular chest. He wrapped a loose arm around your waist and burrowed his face into the crook of your shoulder. “Need you,” he muttered against your bare skin. 
 For one indecisive moment, his words made you freeze up like a statue of stone in your place. Because frankly, it took you back so far in the past, you were suddenly blindsided by nostalgia. Of stolen kisses taken in corners, and heated whispers said in the dark of night, of hands exploring warm skin, and quiet pants falling from parted mouths. Of how he used to say such things to you when he was so desperate - so needy - for your taste. 
 But then you were brought back to the present. And you were reminded of the fact that he hadn’t said such words in so long, they now felt foreign on his tongue. And you two hadn’t been intimate with each other - quickie or not - in over two weeks. That’s the longest you had gone in… what felt like forever. 
 “Jisung- get off me,” you said in an annoyed tone, replacing your bottle of moisturizer on the bathroom counter. 
 He was still clutching onto you, pressing a few delicate kisses onto the skin of your shoulder. And against your better judgment, a quick shiver ran down the length of your spine. “Don’t play hard to get with me, now…” he said, his tone light a humorous. 
 Like nothing was wrong and everything was fine. As if he had been acting like the picture-perfect boyfriend for the past few months. 
 When in reality, all of those things were just downright lies. 
 “I said- get off of me!” The yell tumbled from your lips before you even realized what you were saying. And as you shoved away from his grasp, stepping back from the counter and out of the bathroom, the air around you instantly changed. From one of playfulness and slight desire on his part, to what you had been feeling at that moment. Bitterness, and… heartbreak. 
 “Y/N- what-” Jisung followed you out of the bathroom. His voice had an incredulous tone to it, as he was no doubt completely thrown for one from your sudden shift in mood. 
 “I’m just tired, alright? I want to go to bed.” You said curtly. You climbed into bed, resting your head on your cushy pillow, breathing in a sigh of relief at the comforting feeling of the thick downy comforter covering your bare legs. At least something in this hellhole of an apartment still gave you comfort. 
 And when you heard the bathroom door shutting quietly behind you, signaling that Jisung was finishing up getting ready for bed himself, the tension eased immensely from your shoulders. 
 Still, it showed that he had given up. 
 Like an absolute fucking coward. 
 And quite possibly, that hurt the most. 
 You fell asleep to the feeling of a single tear escaping out of one of your eyes, rolling down the side of your nose and across your cheek. Staining your pillow with wetness, just like every other night before, too.  
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“Can we talk?” Jisung said the next day. He shuffled out of the bedroom, the large backpack that he always used to carry his extra pair of clothes for practice and other gear of the like in hand.
 It was early in the morning on a Wednesday, and you were busy in the kitchen preparing your breakfast to go. You didn’t have much of an appetite - for obvious reasons Jisung had no idea about - so you just decided to make some oatmeal and throw it in a thermos for you to eat when you got to work. The night before had left you in an odd sort of emotional limbo as soon as you woke up that morning, and your stomach churned painfully inside of you. With anxiety, and heartache. 
 Peering up from the strawberries that you were cutting to add to your breakfast, you shrugged your shoulders. “Yeah, what’s up?” 
 He took careful steps toward you, stopping when he reached a corner of the kitchen counter where he leaned one of his hips against it. “Did I… do something wrong last night?” 
 His question took you off guard so much that your head shot up from the cutting board. Because had he done something wrong? He hadn’t forced anything, but just the entire act of him expecting something from you after his poor treatment of you for so long… that’s what had upset you. Well, that and a whole host of other things. “No, Jisung, I already told you. I was just tired.” You lied to him with a straight face, as you turned back to your work, slicing through the red flesh of a strawberry with your sharp knife. 
 “You just acted like… I don’t know, you were mad or something,” he started, and out of the corner of your eye, you could see that he swept a hand through his midnight-black hair in a frenzied kind of way. Surely, his next words weren’t going to be ones you liked. “Are we… good?” 
 Your boyfriend had said a lot of stupid things in the past, namely when it came to telling absurd jokes. But this? Asking if you guys were on good terms when he had been sabotaging the whole relationship for the past few months with his shitty behavior? Now that was just downright ludicrous. “I don’t know Jisung, you tell me.” You decided to say, as you fit your cut-up strawberries in a clean glass container before placing it into your lunchbox. 
 “What does that mean?” 
 Your gaze shot up at his snippy tone, and immediately, it was like a switch was turned on inside of you. And then the words started flowing. “Well damn, Ji- I don’t know! How can we be ‘good’ when apparently, you despise me?!” You threw your hands up into the air exasperatingly, your voice rising and echoing across the kitchen. When you noticed him beginning to open his mouth to shoot back a retort, you rolled your eyes. “And don’t give me the bullshit of ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about,’ because you and I both know that you haven’t done shit for this relationship for the past… I don’t know how fucking long!” 
 “Well every time I try to get close to you, you push me away!” Jisung shouted back, folding his arms across his chest. Almost like he was trying to protect himself from your words. Your blows. “Like last night- you just… shut down!” 
 “Did you ever think that I don’t want to have sex with a man who doesn’t even fucking care about me anymore?” You're clutching your fists together so hard that you feel your nails digging into the tender skin of your palms. But, you keep squeezing anyway. It helps ground you at the moment. Helps to keep the tears at bay that threaten to spill over with every word spoken. 
 “What the hell, Y/N-”
 “And don’t fucking call me that!” You screamed, your voice finally giving out and cracking desperately. The tears were freely flowing now, racing down your heated cheeks that were blooming with a furious blush. “Y/N, Y/N, Y/N! It’s all you ever call me anymore! Well, I’m sick of it, okay?! Where’s the old Han Jisung? The one that actually loved me and showed interest in me and made love to me sweetly and called me pretty names?!” 
 Your gazes were painfully locked, and on his face, at that moment, you saw realization dawn upon him. It was so evident in the way that his dark brows creased slightly, the way his bottom lip quivered a little bit, and the way his eyes shone with so many emotions, but mainly- sadness, and... vulnerability?
 Too embarrassed to stand there any longer and bare your whole, raw self to him for another second, you quickly grabbed up your lunchbox and made for the living room, where your purse was sitting on the edge of the couch. Then you were turning around and nearing the entryway, slipping on your shoes and coat - after all, it was the beginning of February and it was still cold as fuck out. 
 Funny, how Valentine’s Day was quickly approaching, and yet your long-time relationship with your boyfriend Jisung was falling apart right before your eyes. Just your luck, it would seem. 
 “Y/N, where are you going?” Jisung’s voice cracked with unbidden pain as you slipped your thick winter coat on. 
 And when your hand reached for the doorknob to leave, you felt fingers clutch desperately at your elbow. 
 “Please- let’s just-”
 “Just fucking leave me alone.” You said in a quiet, quivering tone. Your shoulders were still shaking, the tears leaving trails down either of your cheeks. 
 A tender part of your heart squeezed achingly when you yanked your arm out of Jisung’s grasp. And a tiny, hopeless, strangled sound fell from his lips from behind you, just as you crossed the door’s threshold and barreled out into the cold morning air beyond. 
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 All day, you couldn’t focus at work. You trudged through your routine wordlessly, filling out documents and signing off on things. But inside, your mind was drifting from one thing to another. Would Jisung be there when you returned home to the apartment that night? Or would you come home to a barren place, with him having taken out all of his things? 
 Did your fight mean that you guys had broken up? 
 Where did you two stand with one another? 
 Everything was so murky and fucked up, that by the time you finished work, you were glad that you would be home two hours later than usual. Maybe that’d give your boyfriend enough time to hi-tail it out of there before you met him once more. Before you had to relive all of the trauma and hurt all over again from that morning - from the last few months. 
 You took a deep breath, trying to compose yourself and steel your rising nerves, as you stood outside of your apartment’s front door that night. It was just past nine, and surely he’d still be at work. Surely, he’d be busy with the boys, practicing the night away, while you drowned in a pint of freezer-burned chocolate ice cream and tears on your bed. 
 When you opened the door, you immediately noticed how the apartment was quite dark. A tiny sigh of relief left your lips at the sight of shadows filling in the corners of the living room. 
  He wasn’t home, then. 
  Good. 
  And you couldn't remember the last time you had ever thought such a thing- 
 That your once-loving boyfriend wasn't home, and that that was a good thing. 
  The feeling quickly became sickening, and you swallowed around a thick lump in your throat. 
 After peeling your winter coat away from your sweater-clad arms and fitting your shoes back onto the small shelf that you kept near the door, you made your way out of the small entryway and into the kitchen. 
 But you stopped in your tracks upon the sight that you found there. 
 Your entire body seized up in surprise, 
 Spine going rigid, 
 Hands clenching and then unclenching at your sides. 
 For there, at the small dining room table, sat your boyfriend, Jisung. 
 A satiny, maroon-coloured cloth lined the wooden table, and you noticed the fine china that was placed on either side of the thing. The white proclaim plates were filled with what looked like Italian food - loaded with saucy pasta, roasted vegetables, and thick breadsticks. There were two crystal wine glasses too, filled to the brim with velvety red wine. 
 And at the centre of the table was a vase of flowers - it was bursting with a bouquet of crimson-red and baby-pink roses, sunset-orange daises, and pure-white baby's breath. Around the vase of flowers, laid a handful of candles, their bright wicks flickering in and out with the heat that quietly blasted throughout the apartment. No wonder why all of the lights had been turned off- to give way to the romantic ambiance of such a spread. 
 In an instant, your heavy purse slipped from your hands. You felt your heart leaping wildly inside of you, thumping against your ribcage in an almost painful kind of way. And only then, did your eyes find your boyfriend’s form in the dim lighting. He was dressed in a simple black long-sleeved t-shirt, the fabric tight around his toned chest. You noticed the black, tight-fitting jeans that wrapped around his legs, hugging every corded muscle flawlessly. His midnight-dark hair was styled messy, hanging low in front of his eyes, and your gaze caught on a thin silver chain that hung around his neck, showcasing his milky-smooth skin. 
 “Welcome home, baby girl.” Jisung’s voice came out soft and silky. Your eyes locked on his lips, as they moved to form the words. Then, he was standing up from his seat, nearing you ever so slowly. Like you were an animal he was hunting, and he was afraid he’d scare you off with the slightest of movements. 
 Your eyes found his in the darkness, and there, you saw an abundance of emotions- fondness, love, and… hesitance. “W-What is going on?” You managed to get out, limbs a little shaky as he came so close to you, you caught his scent. He always smelled of a mix of maraschino cherries and sweet lollipops. The smell was so lovely, yet it always did wonders to calm you down. 
 “Sit, baby.” He whispered. Reaching out, he took ahold of one of your hands and slowly pulled you towards the dining table. He pulled out your seat for you and helped you ease into the plush chair. Then, he was rounding the table once more and taking up his previous position across from you. 
 “What is all of this, Jisung?” You asked, brows raising in question as your eyes perused the spread in front of you. You hadn’t noticed the small tiered cake before, but the dark pink buttercream frosting seemed to glimmer against the candlelight, and instinctually, your stomach rumbled with hunger. 
 “An apology,” he began quietly. His stare was locked with yours across the table, and when he leaned over and grasped one of your hands, fingers sliding between fingers, your heart leaped in the pit of your chest. He squeezed your palm gently. “After… after you left this morning, I was a total fucking mess. Came into work practically bawling my eyes out like a stupid baby. The boys were so worried, and after they managed to get everything out of me, they helped me plan all of this.” 
 You squeeze his hand back, offering a tiny smile. A little kindness wouldn’t hurt, right? At least you could give him what he hadn’t given you in so long. “The setup is lovely. I… I honestly don’t know what to say…” Your voice trailed off, cracking at the end of your words. When you felt the tears welling up in the corner of your eyes, you bit down hard on your bottom lip to quell them from spilling down your cheeks. 
 Jisung cursed under his breath, shaking his head once, before speaking lowly, “You don’t have to say anything, darling. I’m the one who messed up, who fucked up colossally,” he said, shoulders quaking just a little bit from the sentiment of it all. His eyes were dancing with so much hurt and heartbreak, and at that moment, you wanted nothing more but to get up from the table and envelop him in a long hug. But no- for once, you weren’t going to give anything… for once, you were going to take. “I had no idea what you’ve been going through these past few months. I’ve just been so… caught up - obsessed - with my work that I failed to acknowledge the one thing tethering me to it all. And I’m so sorry. I realize my mistakes now, I understand what I’ve done. 
 “But… I know that you have no obligation to accept my apology. You’ve been putting up with my bullshit for so long, I wouldn’t blame you if you called it quits right now. And if you do decide to do that, you must know how I feel. I have enjoyed every moment that I've spent with you, while we were friends and lovers. And I’d never give it up for anything else in the world. I love you so, so much. And I never want to hurt you again, not like this.” 
 You were squeezing onto his hand so tight, you were sure your nails would leave imprints into his palm long after you pulled away. The tears were racing down either of your warm cheeks, your heart cracked open and bleeding with pain. Because the apology was truly genuine. You knew Han Jisung - had known him for so many years now - and you could automatically pick up on when he was telling a lie. But this? This was pure, unadulterated sorrow. He was so remorseful for what he had done, and the distressed look on his face clearly showed how he truly felt. The furrowed brows, the firm press of his lips, the sallow-colored cheeks, the misty eyes. 
 And suddenly, everything was made so very clear to you. 
 You knew exactly what you had to do. 
 “I forgive you.” The words left you quietly, but Jisung heard them nonetheless. Butterflies erupted in your stomach at the confession. Because you loved him too. And all at once, you understood that leaving him, ending the relationship, would just create even more pain for the both of you. And you weren’t a mean person. You cared for your boyfriend deeply and wanted to make things work out. “You really hurt me, you know? All of the late nights away from home, and then the heartless quickies. It became so… tiring, to not have a connection with you anymore. But, I want to try again. I want to make things right, and try and revive the relationship.” 
 You offered him and minuscule smile, and he mimicked your expression tenfold, the happiness blossoming across his face like an infectious disease. “Yes, yes, I’ll do anything, baby. Anything to save us.” He exclaimed faintly, bringing your hand up to his mouth and pressing a gentle kiss against your skin. A ripple of fire cast through your body at the contact of his lips. “But first, before we work out the details, can we please eat? I’m so hungry, I think I could eat an entire cow right now!” 
 A hearty laugh escaped past your lips at his absurdity. And almost instantly, it was like you were back to how things used to be - how the old Jisung used to be, the one that would crack jokes all the time around you, the one that would flash you a cheeky grin every other sentence, the one that always made your heart race wildly. 
 “Yeah, sure,” you looked down at your plate, trying to hide the smile that was practically lighting up your entire face, “the food looks great, the boys did a great job in helping you.” 
 “Mhm, I did most of it though,” he said in between a huge bite of pasta. “But you know how they get… especially Seungmin, always needing the credit.” He rolled his eyes at you, and you both burst out into a fit of laughter. 
 It felt good to let loose in front of him. To laugh your head off, without feeling like you were a burden. And in no time at all, you were digging into your serving of pasta, savoring the salty sauce as it coated your tongue in a mouth-watering kind of way. 
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 “Can you hand me that knife over there?” Jisung asked an hour later, as he slotted a bowl into the dishwasher. You two were currently cleaning up the kitchen from the bomb that had been left off in the wake of him and the boys trying to make a romantic dinner for the two of you. 
 You leaned across the granite countertop and passed him the knife, before going back to wiping down the stove with a damp towel. You guys had passed the dinner with a mix of serious conversation and silly jokes. Over the meal, you guys had decided on what the future looked like. Jisung promised that he’d talk to Chan and his managers about it, but he was positive that he’d be able to leave work at least an hour earlier than he usually did every day. And you promised that you’d keep in touch with him if you were ever running late because of work. You guys planned to set every Friday night aside for the two of you to have a date, even if it was just staying at home and lazying around together, it was a time you'd get to spend together, just the two of you.
 Neither of you had brought up the sex during dinner, and to be candid, you were a little too embarrassed to talk about it with him. You had no idea why, when you had been dating for so long. But, the idea of explaining your true, most-inner feelings about it all was quite… daunting, to say the least. 
 “Well, the cleanup is done, at least. I’ll have to clear the table tomorrow,” he said a few minutes later, just as he closed the dishwasher and started up a new cycle. You were leaning against the counter on the opposite side of him, your focus on your hands, as they wound and unwound the damp cloth between your fingers. “Thanks for all of the help, baby girl.”
 At that, your head shot up, eyes wide as your focus locked with Jisung’s. “W-Why do you keep calling me that?” You stuttered out, mouth parted just slightly in surprise. 
 “Why?” He raised a dark, quizzical eyebrow your way, “you don’t like it?” 
 You felt a deep blush wash across your cheeks at his question, and your eyes flicked away from his that were slowly darkening. “N-No, it’s just… I’m not used to it, I guess.”
 “Oh, so then you do like it…” His serious voice resonated out across the kitchen. And then he was moving closer to you until he was standing just a hairsbreadth away from your form. Slender fingers reached out, fitting underneath your chin and turning your head so that your eyes locked for what felt like the millionth time that night. “What else do you like, baby girl?” His pupils were dim and blown wide, the shadows in the room seemed to cast across his shoulders, cloaking him in unbidden desire. 
 “J-Just you, Ji.” You breathed out, as his fingers traveled away from your chin, before cupping your cheek. 
 “You’ll have to be more specific than that, darling.” Your boyfriend mused. His nails grazed across your feverish skin, sending a shudder to course down the length of your spine. “We never talked about the sex… but I assume there will be no more quickies?” 
 You swallowed, once. “No, I don’t like them. They’re- they’re not you, babe.” 
 “Really?” He asked, the heady scent of him filling your nostrils as he stepped closer to you. His hand left your face, as he clutched at either of your hips and helped ease you onto the kitchen countertop that was just at your back. Slotting himself between your parted legs, his fingers dug into the fabric of the tight jeans at your waist. “Then, what is me, baby?” He leaned into you, pressing a tentative kiss against your lips. 
  And holy fuck, did it feel good. 
 To have him so close to you, 
 So intimate. 
 Holding you so tightly to him. 
 The safety you felt in his embrace seemed to overwhelm you, and your shoulders shook a little bit with the love that radiated from his face just then. “Y-You love me, wholly and completely,” you began, as he pressed another kiss to your mouth. This one was a lot more passionate than the last and swirled the pool of fervency that was slowly building deep inside of you. “You m-make love to me sweetly.” 
 You leaned into him then, as his teeth ran along your bottom lip. Your mouth opened, and his tongue swiped at yours. A strangled moan flew from you, and he swallowed it whole with a groan of his own. 
 “Do you want me to make love to you sweetly now, baby girl?” He grunted in between your kisses. His voice was silky smooth, like the darkest of chocolates. And when your mouths unlaced from one another, a hot string of saliva trailed after his pretty, swollen lips. 
 Nodding your head desperately, you almost surprised yourself with the sudden earnestness that flooded through your entire system. Because truly, you had been waiting - wishing - for such a thing for months. And finally, your boyfriend was giving it to you. Not out of spite or hatred, but because he loved you. “Y-Yes, I want that so much…” You breathed, the blush erupting into a furious heat across your cheeks. 
 When Jisung’s lips spread into a knowing smirk, eyes alighting with a certain kind of fire, you had to forcefully press your legs together to quell the rising arousal that had been building in your core. In all honesty, it had been building since the moment had said he loved you, back at the dining table over dinner. 
 “Well, because I love you so much, and you've been so good for me tonight, I'll give in to you, darling.” Your boyfriend’s hands gripped your waist, hoisting you up from the counter and into the air. You wrapped your legs around his torso, as he led the two of you out of the kitchen and into your shared bedroom. The whole way, you clutched onto his shoulders tightly, heart racing with anticipation. 
 He laid you down atop the bed, and the silence took over. He said nothing, as he reached forward, taking ahold of your jeans zipper and single button and pulling them free. Then, all at once, he was shucking your pants off in one fluid movement, his eyes never leaving yours as he cast them aside on the ground. Jisung reached behind him, clutching at his shirt before hoisting it over his head and discarding it somewhere next to you. 
 You swallowed audibly at the sight of his bare chest. The only light shining in the bedroom was a dim nightlight plugged into the far wall near the bathroom, and its amiable hue cast an ethereal kind of glow across his tanned skin. The well-toned muscles on his arms seemed to shimmer in the light, the definition of his abs rippling with every breath he took. For the most part, during your quickies within the past few months, he hadn’t undressed that much. It mainly just consisted of him tearing his pants down, pushing your panties aside, and finishing within ten minutes. There was nothing romantic about it, which is why you absolutely hated it. 
 Biting your lip at it all, you squirmed underneath him. He liked your reaction to him, liked the way you ogled his chest. It was evident by the way a lazy grin broke across his face. “Your turn,” is all he said, before diving into you and pressing a fervent kiss against your mouth.
 Within a few breaths, he had your shirt off and was working at unclasping your bra. At the thought of him seeing you naked save for your panties, panic suddenly started to rise into your throat. You hadn’t fully laid out in front of him in a very long time. What if he didn’t like what he saw? What if you were ugly to him after such a prolonged period of not seeing you? 
 “W-Wait,” you managed to get out, swallowing thickly. Jisung’s fingers instantly stopped at your bra clasp. 
 Worry started to fill his eyes as he said, “Do you not want to-” 
 “No!” You blurted out, a little too quickly for your good. Your hastiness was made clear then, and a tiny, pleased smile spread across Jisung’s mouth at the sight of it. “It’s just… what if you don’t like what you see?” 
 His eyes narrowed as he stared down at you, a frown darkening his face. “Why in the world would you ever even think that?” 
 Your breath turned shallow, limbs shaky at the swarthy look he was leveling your way. He had always hated when you doubted yourself- when you questioned his attraction to you and your body. “I-I don’t know… it’s just been, a long time since you’ve seen me like this, that’s all.” Your eyes pulled away from his defined chest, locking with his once more. “I’m worried you won’t… like what you see.” 
 Jisung didn’t allow you to say anything else then, as he tipped down into you and pressed a feverish kiss against your mouth. “Baby girl, don’t ever say such things like that again, I love you so much. You’re the hottest woman I’ve ever seen in my entire life.” He rumbled against your lips before his kisses began to travel around your face. He pecked the tip of your nose, both of your cheeks, and your forehead, before coming back to your lips. “Now, may I see you? Will you allow me to show you how much I care about you - how much I love you?” 
 You found yourself nodding your head in a frenzy, sucking in your bottom lip in anticipation. Your boyfriend flashed you a pleased smile before his fingers made quick work of your bra. Not five beats later, he had it off of you and laying on the floor near the bed. At the feel of being completely naked underneath him save for your soaked panties, you fought the urge to squirm and cover yourself up. 
 “Fuck,” he practically growled out the words at the sight of your bare form. “You’re so pretty, sweetheart,” his eyes trailed away from your exposed chest, locking with your eyes once more. “Love you- shit, love your body so fucking much.” He murmured against your skin, as he pressed a few kisses against your jaw.
 “J-Ji-” you mewled at the feeling of his mouth traveling down the column of your neck. His teeth bit into the warm flesh, leaving love marks for the next day. His lips sucked down on your clavicle, fingers digging into your bare hips. Your hands found their way into his hair, pulling at the black locks hard as his mouth moved down the centre of your sternum. 
 “Always thinking about you- you know that, princess?” He mused against your skin, mouth circling one of your breasts with a smattering of kisses. “My mind always comes back to you in the dead of night, when I’m alone in the studio. I daydream about this very sight- having you under me, quaking from my touch alone.” Then his lips were hovering over one of your pebbled nipples, hot breath fanning against gooseflesh. “Because only I get to do this, right? Only I get to see you utterly bare like this…” 
 Your focus was completely on your boyfriend, as he pressed an open-mouthed kiss against your breast. “Y-Yes, only you get to have me.” You mewled out, clutching at his roots a little harder when his hot tongue darted out and drew a long stripe across your raised nipple. A hiss left your lips at the action. 
 “Shit, baby- love your tits so much,” he muttered in a quiet voice. His tongue swirled around your sensitive bud, then he was fitting his entire mouth over your mound, taking in as much of you as he could. He lapped and licked at your breast, teeth coming down to graze against your puckered nipple. You felt one of his hands leave your hips, and travel up your side until just stopping at your other breast. There, he filled his palm with your enflamed flesh, rolling your throbbing bud between his fingers. You were a groaning mess under his tongue, writhing with pleasure. 
 “F-Feel so good, babe,” you whispered, yanking on his hair and pressing his face closer to your chest as he continued to pay ardent attention to your breast. 
 After a few beats, he pulled away, mouth red and puffy, leaving a trail of hot saliva around your breast. “I fantasize about these all the time- imagining what it’d feel like at that moment to take your gorgeous nipples into my mouth.” His eyes flitted up to yours, which were still locked on where he was pleasuring your chest. “Fuck- almost every day, I pump myself dry to the thought of your beautiful tits bouncing up and down as you ride my cock so perfectly- as I spread your legs and take you fully, as I pound into your flawless little cunt from behind.”
 “Y-You thought about me like that, even after all this time?” The surprise drips into your tone, cheeks heating up with rosiness as his head moves over to your other breast that his hand had been playing with. Your heart leaped wildly in your chest at his movements, and you felt the juices practically dripping out of your core, skating down the inside of your thighs. Because truly, you had never known. You had just assumed that, for the past few months, you’d never crossed his mind… after such a long period of the intimacy waning between the two of you... 
 He smiled against your skin, pressing a fiery kiss against your nipple that had yet to be lapped at by his tongue. “Of course I did, babydoll. You’re always on my mind- you never left it, not even for a single moment.” 
 You squeezed your eyes shut, savouring the way that he fit his mouth around you in a perfect kind of way. Your fingers shook slightly as you carded them through his silky locks, trying to get as close to him as possible. The moans fled from your lips freely, and the breath caught in your throat at the feel of his clothed bulge pressing against one of your thighs, close to where you needed him most. He was still clad in his tight skinny jeans. 
 “Baby- n-need you,” you whined after he had pulled away from your breast a few beats later, his face flushed with so much lust. His gaze locked with yours, pupils like twin pools of fire that were so fucking scorching, as he stared down at you, studying your kiss-swollen lips and fluttering eyelids. 
 “You need me, hmm?” He traced a single index finger down the middle of your chest, nearing your waist. “Where do you need me, princess? Tell me…” His finger trekked down one of your legs, starting to draw tiny shapes in the skin of your inner thigh. “You need me right here, on your thighs?” 
 “N-No-” you managed to say in a quiet voice. A velvety hush came over the entire bedroom, as you watched his finger slowly trace up your skin until the slim digit was just outside the line of your panties. 
 “You need me here, baby girl? Between your legs, touching your warmth?” He pushed the nude-colored panties aside a bit, and immediately, his finger was slicked with your arousal. “Damn it- you’ve soaked through this shit.” Jisung grabbed ahold of your panties and dragged them down your shivering legs before discarding them somewhere behind him. 
 “Wanted this for so long, Ji,” you started, a low buzz humming in your ears at the way his pupils darkened at the sight of your completely bare form. Finally. 
 He tipped down towards you, beginning to pepper light kisses against either of your thighs, nearing your throbbing core ever so slowly. “Oh, yeah? What did you want for so long, darling?” His voice was hushed against your skin, and you felt the desire churn in your core at the way he said the words in such a low register. The tone he only used on you - for you - late at night, when it was just the two of you, and he was filled with so much passion. 
 “Wanted you- face nestled into me, kissing my worries away, licking me clean.” A surprised squeak fled from your lips as soon as his mouth landed on top of your cunt. 
 “You’ve always had a thing for my tongue, haven’t you, princess?” Jisung said, his voice rumbling against your sensitive flesh and shooting a zap of energy to course throughout your veins. You felt him smirk against your lips, just as he delved into your heat. 
 And all at once, you were reminded of what you had been missing for so very long…
 Slender fingers prying you open slowly, 
 Practiced thumb pressing against your puffy clit, 
 Kisses peppered up the length of your warmth, 
 Tongue drawing a stripe down your lips, 
 Before thrusting into you, tasting your very essence. 
 You bucked your hips against your boyfriend’s face, loving the way he twisted his tongue inside of you, the way he used his fingers to pry you open for better access, the way he traced circles around your clit. Every nerve ending in your body felt like it had been set on fire, and loud pants fell from your mouth every time he kissed you, every time he tasted you, every time he hummed against your exposed core in approval. 
 “Taste so fucking good, babydoll… like the sweetest candy on earth,” he growled after he had pulled away from you to catch his breath. This face was messy with you, lips glossy with your slick. The sight of his flushed cheeks and blown pupils alone was so fucking hot, a choked moan escaped from deep inside of you, and your hands frantically traveled down to the waistline of his jeans. 
 “N-Need you right now, baby,” you said, voice hitching slightly. It felt like your heart was beating a mile a minute against your ribcage, thoughts moving slowly inside your head like they were trapped in a thick vat of molasses. Your fingers flew at his zipper and Jisung was silent, as you worked his jeans and boxers off completely.
 His cock sprung free instantly, the head red and swollen, precum dripping out of the slit and splattering onto the bed haphazardly. You swallowed audibly at the sight of his girth. It had been a while since you had gotten a clear view of… him. And, it was mouthwatering, to say the least. You reached out, palm open and supple, as you took hold of him. 
 “Damn it- baby… you intimidated by me?” He chuckled dryly, noticing how your mouth was slightly hung open in amazement. You pumped your hands up and down his length a few times, earning a string of curses from Jisung. “Fuck- any more of that and I’ll be a goner, princess.” He ripped your hands away from him and moved so that your fingers were positioned above your head. 
 Without any guidance, you opened your legs wider, as he slotted himself between you. He clasped down hard on your hands with one palm, while the other found its way back to your core, fingers caressing your inflamed clit. You held your breath in bated silence, waiting, and watching, as Jisung’s tip neared your entrance. 
 Then, he was sliding in with one fluid, effortless movement. Your mouth fell open, breath falling in short increments, at the fullness you felt slowly taking over your entire body. It was like absolute heaven, with him slowly bottoming out, the tip of his cock hitting that fiery, gooey spot deep inside of you.
 “Alright?” Jisung’s deep voice broke you from your daze of lust. You hadn’t realized you had closed your eyes, and when they met your boyfriend’s face, there was a single crease in his brow. Like he was worried that he’d hurt you somehow. 
 “Feels so good- please, just, fuck me, Ji-” you whined, throwing your head back onto one of your pillows, a loud cry falling from your mouth as you felt him begin to move inside of you. 
 As he thrust in and out, in and out, the lewd sounds of your lovemaking overtook all of your senses - filling the room with skin slapping against skin, the smell of sex heavy in the air. Jisung set a fervent pace, reaching so far into you that every time he pulled back, and then shoved himself between your lips again, literal stars danced against the blackness of your vision. 
 “You like this, baby girl?” Jisung rasped out, as he pushed into you vigorously. You were a sopping wet mess, which made for slippery work between your legs. Still, Jisung didn’t mind, and it only seemed to edge him on even further. “Like when I fuck you nice and sweet? Is this what you’ve wanted all along, hmm?”
 Nodding your head frantically, a scream tore from deep inside of you at the feel of his fingers pressing down hard on your inflamed clit. You were practically writhing from head to toe underneath him, your arms shaking as he held them up above your head. “Y-Yes, please… don’t stop…” Your voice came out breathless and airy, as he hit a particularly fiery spot inside of you. 
 “Oh trust me, babydoll, I won’t.” His hand continued to play with your reddened bud, as he rutted into you like a man who had been starved of sex for a fucking millennium. 
 Then, you felt him move on top of you, face nearing yours and lips kissing their way up the expanse of your neck, nearing your chin, before stopping at your mouth. He stopped just then, seductive breath fanning across your face. 
 “Kiss me?” You asked, voice high and squeaky in your throat. Because at that moment, with him so close to you, his cock buried so deep, his fingers abusing you so well, you suddenly felt so fucking vulnerable.
 At the way you peered up at him with big, innocent eyes, your boyfriend immediately let go of your hands that he had been holding above your head. “Ah- baby, how can I ever say no to such a beautiful face- such a sweet voice?” He cooed down at you. Your fingers found their way into his onyx-colored hair again, slightly pulling at the roots. 
 Jisung’s scent - of maraschino cherries and sweet lollipops - overtook you, as he bent down, invading your space. The way his mouth captured your lips, tongue lapping at your own, did wonders for your throbbing heart. And all at once, you felt your high quickly approaching. 
 “Love how supple you get when I fuck you like this…” He whispered against your lips when you had both pulled away to catch your breaths. The charming, gentleness of his voice was a stark contrast to what the rest of his body was doing - how his hands now dug into either side of your hips, how he pounded into you so perfectly with a relentless pace. “So pliant and adorable- princess lets me take care of her well, yeah?” 
 He pressed another few kisses against your lips, smiling in between them at the nods that you gave him. “L-Love when you call me that… princess…” you confessed, a furious blush creeping over your cheeks at admitting such a thing. You had missed all of the pet names over the past few names. But that one? Princess? You didn’t exactly know why, but it just did something ethereal and magickal to your soul every time he called you by the endearing name. 
 “You are a princess, baby… my princess.” Jisung gripped onto your hips harder just then, slamming his cock into you so fiercely that a tiny, pathetic whimper left your mouth. “Now… can you be a good girl and cum for me, sweetheart?” He kissed you again and again, and you felt your heart swell up inside your chest from the gesture. 
 So charming. 
 So loving. 
 So soft. 
 And all at once, you were letting go. Squeezing your eyes shut desperately, galaxies exploding across the inside of your mind. Skin heating up so well, so quickly, that it felt like you had been doused in a pit of flames. Limbs shaking irrevocably, your core clenching around Jisung’s cock, as he chased his own high. You pulled at his silky waves, a string of moans rising from deep within you as you reached the peak of your arousal. 
 “F-Fuck, you take me so well- so perfect,” Jisung grunted somewhere close to your ear. In your daze of orgasmic bliss, you faintly heard him mumble praises. Praises about you, about your exquisite body, and your enchanting personality. But it was all lost on your ears amidst the dizziness of your fall. 
 Then you felt your boyfriend stiffen up inside of you, and his entire body shuttered from above as he finally found his release. You felt his seed coat your still-clenching walls, and a content sigh left you at the familiar feeling of it all. Jisung was a moaning mess on top of you, his voice growing so loud with his release, you were sure the neighbors could hear him. He hadn’t cum inside of you, without a condom on, in what felt like ages. And it felt like pure, utter euphoria. 
 Jisung continued to say soft praises into your ear as he rode out both of your highs, his thrusts turning shallow and sloppy. You moved your head, eyes opening, so that you could see the expression on his face- the tips of his ears were bright red, dark pupils were blown wide, a thin sheen of sweat coated his forehead, and his lips were pink and kiss-swollen. 
 “You’re so pretty, babe…” You surprised yourself by actually voicing your innermost thoughts. You had told him such a thing in the past, and almost always, he always batted it away. You reached up to tuck a stray piece of his messy hair behind one of his ears. 
 “You’re even prettier,” his tone was raspy from all of the groans that had fallen from his lips. He pulled out slowly then, and a small cry left you at the sudden absence of him. If you could, you’d love to live the rest of your days out with his cock buried inside of you. But alas, your dreams never seemed to come true. “Always look so celestial- like a little pixie faerie, whenever I fuck you…” Jisung flashed you an effortless grin, pecking one of your reddened cheeks, before stepping off of the bed and flitting over to the nearby bathroom to grab a towel for cleanup. 
 When he came back, the fuzziness around the corners of your mind was finally gone, and you were able to get somewhat of a grasp on your surroundings. On the way that he leaned down into you, so very close, to wipe a damp cloth against your sticky thighs. 
 “Love you.” You said at that moment. Silence had enveloped the room, as he made quick work of cleaning the two of you up. But your words seemed to crack open a little warmth into the sex-filled air. 
 Jisung’s head turned up and his gaze found yours, his sparkly, doe-like eyes widened slightly in surprise. A smile that mirrored yours just then cracked on his lips, and he was soon trekking over to you, where you were still sprawled out atop the bed's rumpled sheets. 
 “And I love you, too.” The last thing you saw before he took your face into either of his hands was his grin, and how it looked maniac-like. The last thing you saw was the look of pure adoration and love shining across his face, as he pulled you close to him and kissed you sweetly. 
 Because even though things hadn’t been that great between you for the past few months, 
 And even though he had been absent for a long time, 
 And even though your guys’ sex life had gone down the proverbial drain, 
 Things had somehow turned around. 
 He had turned things around. 
 With the beautifully-planned dinner, the delicious food, the tender words, the sweet kisses, and the much-needed lovemaking. 
 So things could only go up from here… 
 As long as you two guys had each other, 
 And as long as you kept fighting for what mattered- 
 For the relationship- 
 For each other- 
 Things would somehow work themselves out, eventually. 
Fin. 
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© ʙʟᴏssᴏᴍᴡʀɪᴛᴇsᴛʜɪɴɢs ⤐ ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛs ʀᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇ
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bonesandthebees · 7 months ago
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STARS IS LONGER THAN PRIORY???????? I READ MORE THAN HALF OF THAT FIC IN A DAY??? ONE DAY??? UHMM....
Look I knew I could read fast (I did read house of Hades in one day) but. But putting THAT into perspective is crazyyyy. Cause honestly I could read stars in a day if I really pushed myself (and like stayed up 24 hrs straight lol) 😭😭😭
And I no longer have the willpower to read physical novels that fast
Though maybe I do now with this info... [picture me chanting to myself "u read stars and that was longer!!" over and over as I read Priory LMFAOOOO]
Dude though that's so impressive how tf did u finish that in less than a year... Even if ur counting the worldbuilding being from over a year before u posted that's still like. Less than 2 years omg... You're genuinely the most talented author in this fandom I can't 😭🫶🫶
I think part of what makes it easier to read fanfic is that you're already familiar with a lot of the characters and story elements. like even though the worldbuilding in stars is completely my own, just due to the nature of it being fanfic there are still things you know and can expect (like phil being a father figure, dream being the bad guy, eret likely betraying them, etc.) so it's easier to read through it. compared to an actual novel like priory where you're completely unfamiliar with the world and characters and have to develop the attachment to them all as you go.
still though reading half of stars in one day is insane lol
now as for how I wrote stars that quickly... I have no clue. writing crimeboys honestly unlocked something in my brain the last few years that I don't think I'm ever fully going to unlock again it was a new level of hyperfocus on my end lmao
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spacedlexi · 9 months ago
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sorry if this is a personal question ... 🐛... but what are you doing for college and how did you decide to go for it?
oof
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im going to school for animation but im realizing how much i love storyboarding specifically (and how little patience i have for full animating/not having the time i need to make animations that arent quick and stiff to meet a deadline (also i want adobe animate obliterated off the earth)). ive cried about how much i love boarding LMAO its that serious. but i love working with Little Guys and putting them in Situations plus theyre characters i dont have to make up myself?? im adapting a script?? but i might still be able to have fun with it? and as a lover of visual mediums i get really excited about being able to control a camera/composition for Maximum Emotional Effect, plus the idea of leading a viewer through a scene. knowing "rules" and breaking them with purpose. im in an editing class rn thats got me really excited aha
it was NOT an easy choice to make. im going back to school so late because i kept telling myself i shouldnt do it and should pick something non art related but well.... here i am.... (my mom kinda pushed the idea even tho the concept of going into art school debt keeps me up at night 💀)
i stumbled around community college for a few years hoping something else would Click for me but in the end i just kept taking art classes. i knew i would be miserable doing anything else. its still Work but its a kind of work i still derive enjoyment from even when im tired or frustrated. i think i would hate the academia world when it comes to my more scientific interests, and i dont have the patience to put up with the bs of being female presenting in a male dominated field like engineering (plus my math brain got broken by a bad calc teacher so...), so instead im taking those inspirations and using them for my art :) im a little engineer at heart so being able to apply that kind of thinking to my art inspires me (and i hope maybe something i make one day will inspire some scientists too lol). plus i dont think i would be happy if i wasnt surrounded by other artists
i doubt my choices every day 😭 but i really do love it a lot. im hoping that my passion and vision takes me SOMEWHERE in the industry, but its scary for everyone out there right now... i mostly try not to think about it honestly
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