#I would go crazy with this shit

[pathsofoak]

Jdkdkdkd

You and @mazegays know me too well XD

look, it's very straightforward. i keep an Excel spreadsheet open on my second monitor, and whenever i see a Contentious Poast making the rounds, i use it to carefully document which of my mutuals reblogged a version of it with Correct Commentary and which ones reblogged a version with Incorrect Conmentary. this either adds to or subtracts from a running total, with the magnitude of the change based on the importance/annoyingness of the post in question. whenever two of my mutuals are in ideological conflict, i use their respective running totals as Elo scores, with the winner of the discourse (i.e. the one i agree with) taking points from the loser. the mutuals at the top of this spreadsheet by the end of the month will be buried with me in my tomb next to my jewels and finery, while the ones at the bottom will be sent out of the Vault's airlock one at a time in an attempt to sate the hunger of the nanomachine clouds. now help me lift this insect corpse, i think i see something salvageable under it

[knifearo]

being aromantic is like. hey btw you're going to live a life that is the culmination of most of society's worst nightmares. sorry lol ✌️ but then you turn around and take a really good hard look at it and it turns out that living in that nightmare is fucking awesome and you get to wake up every day and take that fear that other people have and laugh and hold it close until it's a great joy for you instead. and being happy is a radical act that you define instead of someone else. and you're sexy as fuck that's just a fact of life i don't make the rules on that one

[science-lings]

I feel like ppl focus on Bruce training the robins to kick ass from a young age when that’s definitely not all that was. He had to teach them field medicine and how to pick locks and sneak around silently and how to notice things, sure he taught them how to hit things with sticks of multiple sizes, but he also taught them how to grapple around and land from a fall.

They probably had intimidation lessons and interrogation lessons and sessions where they just meditated for hours straight. They’re taught how to calm down civilians and to train their voices to sound different in costume and so many things that would make them the most terrifying children to live with.

Bruce is actively training them to be good at bothering him because they like trying out their new espionage skills at Galas and trying to sneak around him while he’s asleep to prank him.

When we think of training to be Robin it’s easy to think of sparring and gymnastics equipment when it’s fun to remember the other parts of it. Some days Bruce would probably just give the kids a Hunt a Killer box and a time limit.

[not-equippedforthis]

forever mourning how granada holmes never adapted the three garridebs. diabolical. unbelievable, even. 'if you had killed watson you would not have made it out of this room alive' but in brett's frightfully intense and low, biting, hissing voice. the violent, wild stare versus the gentle hand on watson's knee. all of that precarious control getting flung out the window. the humanity of it. gritting my teeth can you fucking imagine.

[erinwantstowrite]

okay so alighterwood started playing twisted wonderland which not only reminded me that i have to finish my twst wonderland jurrassic ayuu fic but ALSO gave me brain rot for Tim Drake in twisted wonderland do you see the vision. im looking directly into your eyes oh so autistically do you see my vision. im communicating telepathically do you see what i'm saying here

[thelilylav]

No I’m fine I’m just thinking about how Maddie had to watch Raven, her best friend, get treated like shit for years on end, risk possibly dying to escape a destiny that would have been just as bad, get ridiculed and blamed for everything that goes wrong in the coming months all because she wanted to be nice, only to see her do the one thing she said she never would and have all her worst fears realized as she was turned evil anyway. And then the woman who cut her off from her homeland/her best friend’s mom get released from jail and terrorize the entire school like a week later.

[wishchip106]

i wonder if these guys ever cared being gay was illegal when they first met

it sure didn’t stop them from being freaky af

everyone knew by just looking at them

[vngful]

Bro is f*ckin locked in

[arachnidsgrippysocks]

this is the referance lolmao

[possamble]

I think it'd be funny if postcanon Falin was able to rationalize everything Marcille did as like. "She was just pursuing her dream of being able to be with everyone she loves and she loves me so saving me was a secondary part of that."

But then she sees Marcille scream and squeak and cry while carefully trapping a centipiede in a cup before gently leaving it outside bc she knows Falin likes bugs and she wants to be less mean to/scared about bugs. And THAT'S when Falin's like "oh she LOVES me loves me i need to put my tongue in her mouth right now"

[ddeerslayer]

If I see one more person talk about how they don’t get why people defend Bunny, and then turn around and talk sweetly about HENRY MARCHBANKS WINTER THE TWO TIME MURDERER (ONLY COUNTING HUMANS, BY THE WAY) I might just go mad

[thebrainrotsreal]

EVIL MARK, EVIL MARK, EVIL MARK!!! I want to be coherent about this season but please picture me foaming at the mouth and running on the walls. S2 being what if Mark's just like his Dad? Insanity. I love this show. Anyways, AU where an Evil!Mark tries to make Our!Mark worse, and Our!Mark tries to make the other better. Something something confronting your idea of the worst version of oneself. Plus, tweaked black and yellow costume because I saw it and immediately went murder hornet lookin' ass and knew I had to draw it. Evil ass Mark. Horrible. I think he should be dragged kicking and screaming into redemption.

[krysmcscience]

Don't mind me, just slacking on a big Billford comic by making other far more ridiculous Billford comics and also some AU art (please excuse my slapdash human!Bill thank you please, also before anyone asks the art style is messy and all over the place because idgaf LOL)

This started out as an excuse to design a Bill Cipher-inspired "wedding" dress, but then spiraled wildly out of control. Various rambles and a bunch more human!Bill arts under the cut, including another silly little comic at the end! (Feel free to skip the rambles, I won't be offended. I know I'm bad at shutting up. XD)

I may or may not write some comedy stuff for this AU, which I'm calling 'For Better Or Worse (But Mostly Worse)'. While Ford DOES remember getting sloshed enough for one thing to lead to making out with another after karaoke, neither he nor Bill remember this wedding, At All. The Love God did nothing to dissuade them from going hog wild on their marriage spending, either, so it got...uh. Exorbitantly Expensive. As in, the grand total could probably buy the entire fucking MOON sort of expensive. (It's fine, don't worry, Bill's good enough at crime to be able to afford it.) Also, because the logic of this AU is mostly dictated by Rule of Funny, the Love God's powers are close to unlimited when it comes to matters of romance, but ONLY when it comes to matters of romance. (Like weddings!)

Want an empty human vessel to smash the soul of a triangle into for date nights or when it's convenient, or perhaps even when it's NOT convenient? Easy peasy! Want the marriage to be recognized in every corner of the multiverse from now until the end of time, thus making any potential future divorce nigh-on impossible? Can do! Want to buy an entire beach for the ceremony and honeymoon and in general, and totally not at all because it would be Super Hilarious to prevent any specific movies from being made on that very same beach in the future? Fine, whatever, it's not his finances he's ruining!

Does the Love God also provide special rings that just so happen to turn incorporeal as long as the "happy couple" doesn't remember that they barged into his dreams to bully him into presiding over their marriage? ...No comment!

He spends the next thirty years trying and failing to get in touch with either of them for payment. This is why you should always demand half the money up front, my guy!

Also it's absolutely a traditional Jewish wedding, because I like the idea of Bill demanding all the keepsakes from the marriage that he paid for, and being completely confused when one of the things he's handed is a fancy container full of broken glass. He gets it later, but in the moment, he thinks the Love God is just fucking with him some more.

Ramble over! Here's the full dress that caused the comic to happen, along with what Ford wound up wearing at the wedding (and begrudgingly agreeing to put on again later for Reasons), aaaaand also a close-up of Bill's ring:

I may have forgotten to draw Bill's hair floofier when drawing the back of the dress, lmao

Since double ring ceremonies have been leaking over into Jewish wedding customs for a while now, Ford also has a ring, but his is the much more traditional plain gold band. There's definitely a message engraved on the inside - embarrassing, cringe, or incriminating somehow - but I haven't decided what it is yet, so use your imagination for now. XD Bill, on the other hand, saw the phrase 'traditional plain gold band' and said "No Thank You" before proceeding to embellish his ring to his liking. And because he's a secret sap who adores Ford's extra fingers, the triangle points add up to twelve, as do the engraved stars. Yes, they're stars, not dots, I just got lazy. There's also six lashes on the eye gem, and probably an eye engraving on the inside with another six lashes. (Bill's got it BAD, okay? We all know this.)

Here are the initial scribbles of Bill's custom vessel in more casual attire, please ignore the wonky anatomy and the fact that I flat out refuse to ever draw him with a proper top hat:

He does actually need a cane in this vessel; since Bill tends to possess men and especially Ford more often than not, he's used to having a higher center of gravity when in a human body, so his ability to balance is pretty garbage. (He may or may not topple over with concerning regularity.) As for his empty eye socket, his bangs don't do much to hide it since he's so high-energy (dude is constantly on the move), and he also refuses to wear a patch over it, because 1.) why bother, and 2.) it's more fun to freak people out.

To better align with Ford's attraction towards the strange, the vessel was designed with super minor shapeshifting ability - Bill can look like a perfectly normal human, but he can also make the teeth and fingers sharper whenever he likes (which is mostly just when he's angry or being more of a menace than usual), as well as slit down the pupils or outright ditch the irises altogether. He can also have whatever he wants in the downstairs department, just because I'm an indecisive bitch on that front, lmao. Maybe he can have boobs if he wants them, too, but I ain't drawin' tits on no triangle, nuh-uh, no sir. His powers are otherwise limited down to what humans can do, because for some reason, the Love God doesn't trust Bill to not snap into Immediate Apocalypse Mode if he's given a physical form that's actually all his and no one else's.

Due to the body being all his and no one else's, it's also not really a standard possession so much as it is just...Bill being temporarily human. He's a lot more aware of and in tune with his human body's senses than he ever was with his "puppets", which makes things like pain a lot more intense. (He is mostly fine with this, because he's a fukken masochist.)

A bit more fashion stuff, including beach and party attire~

The beach outfit was mostly me trying and failing to nail down his body shape, which is still not bottom-heavy enough. I then decided to slap a bikini on it, before making it supremely unsexy with a pair of fugly shorts, because Bill's fashion choices are not allowed to be conventionally attractive. Meanwhile, the party outfit was mostly me looking at the casual attire I designed, asking 'how would Bill make this Worse', and then drawing the result. The mismatched thigh-highs are killing me inside! :D

No, his vessel can't actually summon fire, I just drew it for funzies before I decided on said vessel's limitations. Yes, the gold brick tattoos are absolutely a reference to the fic 'Knowing Me, Knowing You' - I simply could not resist.

I also HAD to draw Bill in one of his canonical(?) shirts, just made tank-top'd:

He is absolutely about to over-correct and fall backwards after this. USE YOUR CANE, GOOFBALL!!! (I meant to draw Bill closer to this degree of bottom-heavy in the other images, but. Alas. I am bad at anatomy, LOL)

And, last but not least before More Comic Time, I attempted to draw him closer to Gravity Falls style:

Jury's out on whether or not I succeeded, but - hey. I tried. Now have some Handyman Bill AU, but with my goofy human design, instead:

Hey, it's a 'mystery snack', and the guy wanted A BITE to eat - the joke was right there, guys!!! (Based on this post, because it just screamed BILL CIPHER to me.)

whoops i forgor bills ring and cracks ahaha too late now

I WILL SHUT UP AND STOP RAMBLING NOW K THX BYYYYYE

[felsicveins]

His heart belongs to another

And no other heart will do

[kayiieu]

imagine isagi getting invited to one of his teammate's house parties, and convincing you to come along with him, his shy and sweet gf ! you're not a fan of crowds or gatherings, but you can't avoid social gatherings forever, and you want to spend time with yoichi, so you agree to go.

you regret it almost immediately. even though yoichi's arm is wrapped around your waist, keeping you close to him, you can't help but feel lost in the crowds of people :( what's worse, drunk strangers who you've never met in your life keep approaching you when you're even a moment apart from yoichi, asking you things like 'what's your name?' or 'are 'ya here alone?'

your dread intensifies when you come back from the bathroom to see a girl asking yoichi for his number. you see him trying to avoid her, letting out multiple "i have a girlfriend" and declining her advances as calmly as he can, looking uncomfortable as ever when she goes so far as to grab onto his arm, giggling.

you approach the girl and say to her firmly, with all the courage you have,

"he's my boyfriend, so would you stop clinging onto him?"

the girl stiffens and lets out a curt, "sorry, didn't know he had a girlfriend," and walks away, clearly ashamed. ( he told her multiple times he had a gf ugh )

yoichi turns to you to explain the situation, but you just grab onto his hand.

"can we please leave, yoi? 'm tired. and overwhelmed," you ask him.

yoichi simply nods and agrees, "i'm tired too, baby. let's get home, yeah?"

you arrive at yoichi's apartment, legs sore and tired. you plop onto his couch, closing your eyes momentarily.

"how's a movie and cuddles sound?" yoichi asks from the bathroom.

"mm, sounds nice. wanna shower first, though."

yoichi laughs. "i was thinking the same. c'mon, hop in with me 'n we can shower together."

the warm water of the shower trickles down your scalp as yoichi shampoos your hair.

"you were super cute when you called me your boyfriend, by the way."

"shut up!"

hmmm i think 'm gonna make more of these how do we feel ! ( •̀ ω •́ )

[blunt-force-karma]

Since I'm a little weirdo who's recently been intrigued by doing dumb little self-anointed challenges for the hell of it, I've been playing my "moralist Harry who mildly flirts with communism" playthrough while exclusively walking. One thing I love about it is that it's entirely impossible unless one where to, with reckless and unhinged abandon, save scum every time Harry runs. Cus yes, you can play the game and walk the whole time. Just be prepared to have Harry abruptly burst into running at random intervals all because you paused and stood for a bit or went into a building or dared to go up some stairs, at least on PC that is. Oh and the caps lock is your enemy. Be very careful with that thing.

I dunno. I just find it funny how both I the player along with Kim are at the whims of this man. That I too get caught off guard by the running and am at the mercy of Harrier Du Bois himself. Perhaps this very stupid "challenge" has brought be closer to the lieutenant as a player. Ah! One can only speculate.

Oh and yes. Kim did mention the running at the debrief which is even funnier with the context of this. Not that I blame him. Running or not, you cannot take the Jamrock shuffle out of the man.