#I'm convinced he's trying to destroy Twitter at this point

[silvermoon424]

Wtf I just heard about the Twitter rate limit thing, Elon Musk is extremely unserious. And the funniest thing ever is that verified users who are paying $8 a month still have a rate limit that's easy to blow through lmfao

[lady-raziel]

I'm angry. I'm really, really furious right now. I am absolutely livid that when the stakes are so high-- not just for Americans at risk from project 2025, not just for people in Europe being threatened by Russia, not just for people in Palestine, but for pretty much widespread global stability-- that the elites of the Democratic party would dare, would have the fucking gall to let Joe Biden run for a second term in the first place, and then when the magnitude of their own hubris is revealed, would not correct the mistake. And even worse, now, after what we've seen over the past two weeks-- that many of them, including some of the most progressive, would look out upon the people who they claim to be champions of, the diverse and varied America who will suffer at the hands of the conservatives' agenda--and they would EVER dare to say that YOU are wrong to point out the truth before your own eyes.

After the NATO press conference, where Biden absolutely had to prove he was not on the decline, and resoundingly failed to do so, I was appalled to go on Twitter (I'm still not calling it X, sorry) and see favored Democratic insiders claiming that the performance I had just seen was GOOD. That I should be PROUD of this. That I should WANT to vote for this.

How dare you. How dare you say that I should be proud, should wholeheartedly endorse the candidate at the head of a party who, time and time again over the past 30+ years, has only ever chosen to raise up its own aging elites, and occasionally younger people if they met the right demographics to portray the image of the "diverse party of the people."

No. It became evident a long time ago that you only ever cared about yourselves and consolidating your own power. Time and time again you have destroyed the chances of any candidate that strays beyond what you consider the bounds of acceptability for yourselves. There were good candidates in 2004-- and instead, the Democrats gave us John Kerry and handed the Republicans another four years of Bush. Hillary Clinton first ran for president in 2008-- had Barack Obama not been so compelling, had the idea of having the first African American president been so appealing, would you have allowed him to stand a chance? In 2016 you again and again ignored what the average person had to say, ignored concerns that had been brewing for decades that your commitment to "diversity" only mattered if it could be wielded against conservatives and used to prop yourselves up, and destroyed Bernie Sanders' campaign in service of an elite no one wanted.

The seeds of Donald Trump had been brewing for a long time, and instead of doing something about it then, you rested on your laurels and held on to your power instead of raising new people up to move the mission forward. And now, when the situation is MORE CRITICAL than it has EVER been-- still you refuse to listen. Still you refuse to change. Biden literally said in that press conference they aren't listening to polls anymore--is there ANYTHING that will get you to see that you are fucking this up???

So no, Biden campaign surrogates on my Twitter feed, DNC donation-prompt texts, endless barrage of emails one after another-- I see no reason to my proud of this. For many of us, this election as well as the last one was ALWAYS a strategic calculation to prevent worse things, empower local-level candidates, and allow a party structure to exist in some form in hopes of change. This was ALWAYS a dispassionate choice made with the full knowledge of complex situations in order to play the long game.

How dare you say I too should wholeheartedly believe the emperor is dressed in robes of splendor when he and the rest of you have lain bare for the longest time, while those of us trying to keep things from getting worse have to convince the rightfully angry people who still care to ignore the nakedness of who you are--to prevent people cloaked in blood from taking the reins. Shame on all of you, honestly. I wish I could say that this might be a learning moment for the Democratic elite, but I have little hope, and I expect to hear you pontificate on end regarding how "young people just don't understand the political process and that's why we lost" as we all go down together.

Fuck you.

[zzthekaiju]

Geez...

Call this whining, but now that Wingard's out of the director's seat (here's hoping they either get Dougherty back in the saddle OR someone like Guillermo del Toro on the line), I've been noticing a LOT of people wanting the next Godzilla movie to basically be "Godzilla gets fed up with humanity and turns on us all". And I really don't want that for a number of reasons (reinforces the bias against reptiles, been done before a million times, personal bias, etc.), particularly one specific detail...

It renders Serizawa's sacrifice, and the overarching themes of coexistence in the Monsterverse, entirely pointless.

That heart-tugging scene of him putting the fate of the world and its number one guardian above his own, of him making one last connection with the beast that inspired him, that moment they lock eyes before he gives his life to save him...it all goes down the drain if the ultimate endgame of the Monsterverse is Godzilla becoming our greatest threat when the OH SO PERFECT AND SQUEAKY-CLEAN APE gets to be the hero all the time (don't get me wrong, I love this version of Kong, but it just feeds into the "mammal good, reptile bad" trope I despise so much). Everything Serizawa and Monarch stood for as a whole ends up being for nothing if that's how it all goes down. And really, we've now done the whole "Godzilla gets pissed at us because of the actions of a few" thing with the Mechagodzilla situation.

NOW, I'm not saying Godzilla needs to be totally spotless. Absolutely not. I'm fine with him being kind of a jerk at this point...but what if he changed? What if, instead of just keeping him that way...we saw him develop? Y'know? As a character? Which is what he very much is, and NOT some glorified plot device?

Listen, making our relationship with Godzilla the centerpiece of the conflict isn't a bad idea. Not at all, as a matter of fact. A good way around it could be that the new monster he has to defeat is Hedorah, or a monster very much like Hedorah (considering the involvement of Yoshimitsu Banno, it feels inevitable). A horror conceived by our hubris and lack of care for the Earth. And yeah, Godzilla would be really angry at us...but he could also be tired. Overwhelmed. Borderline depressed at his Sisyphean life of having to undo every mistake we make. Maybe the real conflict could be him trying to find something, anything that makes his job worth it and not him not feel completely out of place in a world that's changed so much in the centuries he's been dormant. Maybe Monarch and/or a new cast of humans could help show the Big G that we appreciate him. They already teased this with how he acts around the Roman Coliseum (the novel confirms that he's homesick, awww), so why not give him that sort of emotional arc like they did for Kong? Maybe even give him more than just one scene with him and Mothra together, and show why their relationship works so well, ESPECIALLY when Big G's having a crisis! A unique jerk-to-nice-guy plot! I don't know, something that doesn't begin and end with him doing nothing but destroy things. That was cool for a while, but we need to get out of this "Godzilla can't be relatable because reptile" bunk that I have no doubt the higher-ups think. Heck, give him that son that Wingard clearly wanted to give him. Maybe the twist is that Little G absolutely adores humans and convinces his old man that they aren't so bad. That would work amazing! The possibilities are endless!

That, or they could go with my pitch for a "Godzilla X Mothra" movie. Please...?

I'm kidding, Twitter user Riamus came up with a WAY better premise, to be honest.

[some-rotten-nest]

Random DC/DP headcannons bc I can't sleep

Expect many typos

Danny hates storms, especially thunderstorms bc of the lighting cracking in the sky

Danny wears a power cuff like a bracelet that dampens his more violent powers bc he's scared of them (wail, large-scale ice like with undergrowth etc)

In one of his magazines, instead of bullets Jason keeps solid ectoplasm just in case, and so it's not conspicous

In his Phantom form Danny has a streak of black hair where his white usually is

Jason is fright knight (unless it's a Jason-Danny biologically related fic. Ghost Zone law says no one you share blood with (clones included) can become fright knight (but they can join the court and have other ranks))

Danny made a contingency plan against himself and with the help of a sibling (Cass most likely, though she did seem a bit sad) got it on the bat-computer. Password protected so Danny can't get into it. Bruce doesn't know and won't know until/if Danny goes bad. Bruce made a separate one for him.

Tim gets low and non-harmfil doses of ectoplasm in his coffee bc it is like a shit ton of caffeine for a living person. (Yes, some Amity Park drinks have ectoplasm in them too)

Danny asks Bruce, Tim and Lucius for help with Ghost King Shit TM

Duke has to squint when looking directly at ectoplasm (Danny's trying to find some solution but there isn't one)

Jason has a shadow core

Damian got extinct animals from Danny as a birthday gift multiple times (a dodo bird named Delilah, a messenger pigeon names Luke and a splendid posion frog named Ares)

To piss Bruce off, Jason got a pterodactyl he's named Flynn that he takes on patrol. Safe to safe, people get a hella more scared of Red Hood. Bruce hates it but Jason does actually love Flynn and Bruce can't bring himself to take Flynn awya

Danny made a patrol playlist for every member of the bat family and beyond bc he has one for when he goes out as Phantom (they all listen to their playlists and love them)

Before Danny was fully pulled into the family, he'd flinch at Dick's escrima sticks and still catches himself staring the weapon, his heart pounding

Danny found out Captain Marvel was a kid bc while on a mission with him, Captain Marvel pointed out that there was a pirate ship hovering above them and that Danny should probably deal with that. He'd, and any other Amity Parker that overhead, never laughed so badly in his entire life. Billy was never so scared & confused.

Bart and Danny are friends bc Dan had leveled most of the future before the Beatles took over what was left (I'm actually not that sure about Bart's backstory so feel free to correct me if something's wrong here)

Cass and Danny have staring contests alot. Sometimes the others think they've fallen asleep with their eyes open. They didn't.

Danny had a Twitter account for Phantom without Bruce knowing, but when Steph was trying to convince Bruce to let her have one she mentioned it and Danny had to delete it (he has an alt he now posts every embarrassing thing Batman does and has ever done)

Puns. So many puns between Dick & Danny.

Danny mumbles in his sleep

Crows flock to Danny like hungry tigers. Damian's envious but he gets to pet & feed them so it's mostly okay.

GW likes Jason and let's him borrow books whenever he wants to (also any destroyed book ends up with GW but that's a pretty common hc) but Jason has to swear not to give them to Danny. Not that Danny wants them.

Duke is helping Tucker out with studies and Tucker Duke with tech. Technus sometimes shows up too to help.

Johnny and Jason are dEAD bffs

Sam and Babs get on like a house on fire

Talia met Danny and they're actually friendly to each other. Sure, she's trying to trick Danny into giving her his throne, but Danny knew that and wasn't about to let that happen

Danny will randomly punch his siblings, smirk, then bow and say "my leige" and run away. The sibling now has the crown and is chasing to punch Danny back because honestly fuck that

Constantine is slightly terrified of Danny and Bruce uses it like a threat-- "John, if you don't answer, Danny will contact you." It works like a charm

When too excited, Danny and Jason will start talking in Ghost speech. It freaks everyone else but Damian and Cass out bc the same sounds came from the pits

Take, edit, have fun with whatever you want here. It's just bs that crawls around my brain for funsies and won't let me sleep.

[blackgirlsuperherorants]

I'm starting to see some ... takes about Wakanda Forever 🥴. Idk, maybe I need to watch again. I will be seeing it on Sunday, but I'm gonna put my thoughts under the cut, and y'all let me know what y'all think? Because it's making me feel some kinda way.

Okay, I was gonna put screenshots up, but nevermind, I'll just talk about it.

So, people are saying Wakanda was the aggressor in this movie, and I do not see how they see it that way at all. This man on Twitter said "I do not get Black Panther... am I suppose to think the Wakandans are the noble ones? They're the Israel of the Middle East. They start a conflict and then act like the victims... This movie continues to convince me that the MCY exists to promote the values of American foreign and domestic policy as virtuous. The right of a technologically advanced nation to commit words and actions to another they immediately recognize as wrong when the same is done to them."

So, a reply to one of my posts made me realize that this is because Nakia killed the two girls guarding Shuri and Riri.

But this take is so ???? to me, because Namor is the aggressor. He's doing nothing but threatening Wakanda from the moment he reveals himself to them. He tells them that they WILL ally with him against the rest of the world or Talokan will wipe Wakanda off of the map. And this isn't an empty threat. They will. They CAN. They could have absolutely destroyed Wakanda during that first invasion, but Namor still wanted to convince Shuri to join him. (Also, we are not to look at Talokan as a technologically inferior nation. Wakanda has tech that looks like the future of surface people, but Talokan has advanced tech, too. Remember, THEY built the suit that Shuri used, and those water bombs, and those translators, and those breathing apparatuses. They are super advanced, too. Their thing is just that they kept their traditions and have no European influence.)

And at the moment when Nakia kills those two women guarding Shuri and Riri, Namor is THREATENING TO KILL SHURI IF RAMONDA DOESN'T COMPLY. So, basically, it was "Help me fuck up the surface dwellers or I'll kill the only family you have left."

If your logic is "well, if you kill someone from that country, obviously they're gonna attempt to destroy everyone and everything you love lol" then why isn't the entire MCU always in a constant World War? Nakia rescued the princess. In any other MCU movie, those two deaths would have been meaningless. Of course they meant something to Namor because he cares deeply for his people, but let's not pretend that the action of holding a princess for ransom isn't in itself an act of war.

Do we stan Namor? Yes. Do I like how he's written in this movie? Yes. But do we pretend that a queen who has NO IDEA where her daughter is and believes her to be in danger is not within her rights to send someone to find her? Like... what the fuck does that have to do with American imperialism?

And when they draw Namor and his warriors out with their vibranium finding machine, how is that... like... bad? It's a war movie. Namor and his people can infiltrate Wakanda easily. They have done it multiple times at that point. Why is it bad to draw THEM out on THEIR turf? How is this movie about American foreign and domestic policy? I don't see ANY parallel there. And I don't at all see the Israel parallel. Wakanda is not a place that decided to take land where other people already live, slowly push those people out of the land altogether, and treat those people subhuman. There is no Palestine in this scenario. Where's the Israel comparison? Is it the outreach program?

And isn't AMERICA the one true bad guy of the movie? Like, both Wakanda and Talokan are opposed to America getting Vibranium, and Val and the CIA are working double time to try to fuck Wakanda up (THROUGH DESTABILIZATION) so that they can eventually gain control of the vibranium.

Seriously, I am a huge Namor stan. He is aggressive and does things without mercy or compassion. He is not a poor, innocent tribal man. He is a cold, calculating genius. He's canonically a genius. Let's not pretend Talokan are somehow Wakanda's victims. They are two extremely powerful nations, probably the most powerful two on Earth, and pretty evenly matched, and they ended up fighting because Namor wanted something that Shuri found unreasonable, and that if they didn't agree to, he was going to kill her and invade Wakanda, anyway.

And TRUST ME, America stands NO CHANCE against Talokan. There's not American propaganda about this movie. It's clear that Talokan would fuck America up with little problem. They just wanted to team with Wakanda for better land advantage.

[mischief-lies-and-stories]

Reacting to Other People's Theories 3/?

I found this theory on Pinterest but I think it's a screenshot of Twitter (I don't have Twitter so I don't know for sure, sorry). The source is ShivamChatak.

Theory: Sylvie's nexus event was that she had a good heart.

So the theory is that Sylvie was a good person at heart from a very early age. And in the Sacred Timeline, Loki is meant to be a villain, so if she has a good heart, she can't be a villain and so she's not meant to be on the timeline.

The evidence OP pulls for this is that when she was taken in, she was playing Save Asgard with her toys. Also, similar to Loki, in the TVA she witnessed another variant being pruned. However, unlike Loki, she told the agents that were arresting her to help the variant because she didn't know what was happening but could see that the person was in pain. (Juxtaposed to Loki's reaction to a similar situation where he was more like, 'What the hell was that? You better not try to do that to me.' Rather than try to help the other variant.)

OP also adds that she already knew she was adopted. I'm not sure if that really factors in to her nexus event personally.

I agree with the main part of the theory, though. I think it makes a lot of sense. Loki is supposed to be a villain on the timeline, or at the very least is supposed be a villain for most of his life on the timeline. The arc of his story is supposed to be that his one heroic act is to essentially be the distraction to keep Thor alive by trying to keep Thanos from getting the Tesseract. And while Thanos does end up with the Tesseract, he leaves the ship without killing Thor directly, thereby allowing Thor to live to help destroy him eventually. And in order to get to this point, Loki has to be evil, apparently, in this arc. (I don't know if that's necessarily the only way we can get to that point, but I guess that's how the TVA or Kang or whoever sees it.)

And so, if a Loki is seemingly not going to do that, and is not sowing the seeds of their own destruction at such a young age-- even the age Sylvie was when she was arrested-- and starting to build that resentment for Thor at that point, then essentially, they need to be pruned and the timeline needs to be reset. Because that Loki is not going to become evil, in the eyes of the TVA.

Sylvie herself doesn't come to the conclusion that this is her nexus event because this moment changes her profoundly on a developmental level. She has to make questionable moral decisions for the rest of her life because she's homeless and on the run and a fugitive from a group that (for all she knows at this point) is going to kill her as soon as arrest her. She has to make decisions she likely wouldn't have made if she didn't have to survive all alone while trying to hide from a very powerful group of people who can be anywhere, anytime and who want to kill her. I don't think, from very shortly after escaping the TVA right up to now, she would agree that she is a good person, because of the decisions she has been forced to make.

The other thing that convinces me of this theory is that every other nexus event we see is a conscious choice made by someone. Kid Loki consciously decides to kill Thor. He may not have known this was going against his timeline, but he chooses to kill him. (Even if, as per my theory, his decision was more to get Thor killed for the safety of their people.) Our Loki makes a conscious choice to grab the Tesseract and run, when he sees that the second Tony Stark in the room drops it. (I can't remember what Boastful Loki does.) Classic Loki makes a conscious choice to leave the planet he's hiding out on to go see Thor, despite the fact that he had faked his death, come to the conclusion that he only brings pain and suffering wherever he goes, and so therefore risked bringing pain and suffering to Thor once again by going to see him, but still makes a conscious choice to do that. Croki makes a conscious choice to "eat the wrong neighbor's cat." He may not have realized it was the wrong neighbor's cat, but he makes a conscious choice to eat a neighbor's cat!

Sylvie didn't choose to be born. Sylvie wasn't in the womb like "All right, give me a vagina." (Because my trans girl Sylvie probably would have been like "Please. So I don't have to do any magic to give myself this shit. Or lie to some surgeon so I can get some bottom surgery at some point.") So whether Sylvie is cis or trans, she did not make a conscious choice to be a girl. (TERFS piss off. Being trans is not a choice.) (Unless you ARE trans and feel like you chose to be trans, that's your opinion and you're valid and correct for you. Most trans people, including me, don't think they chose to be trans, which is why I'm using this statement, but if you disagree for yourself, that's fine.)

So her nexus event cannot be that she was born a woman (whether she was born a cis woman or a trans woman). She didn't choose to be born and she didn't choose to be a woman.

(However, and this doesn't really have to do with this theory which is why it's in parentheses. It's also unlikely, given the way the writers chose to word her explanation of what happened to her, but I don't care. Anyway. My girl is smart. Maybe this would come after she meets the other variants or better understands how the TVA works, but I feel like eventually she'd work out that nexus events are conscious choices. And she's like, 'Yeah, I'm trans, I wasn't assigned female at birth, but I still didn't choose this. I was born a woman, just no one knew that when I was born.' But like I said, given who she's had to grow up to be, I don't think it would ever occur to her that her nexus event was having a good heart (which I know doesn't sound like a conscious choice, but I'm thinking that as a child she showed she had a good heart by choosing to be kind or choosing to do right by others, which are choices). But it might occur to her that she did choose something related to her gender. Something that happened very shortly before the TVA came to get her. Something it seems (to her observation) none of the other Loki variants have ever done (thanks, you shitty, shitty writers). She chose to come out. Sure, maybe this doesn't seem like it should have any impact on her ability to fulfill the expectations of the timeline, but it's (to her) a clear divergence from the Story of Loki. And the TVA doesn't like changes to the story.)

[richardsondavis]

I'm still bothered by the Drinker recommending Arcane. A little peeved but checking out his recs, it has some great stuff. Dredd and Event Horizon he gives his recommendation and approval.

Don't know why I should take his word for it cause I did try his other recs and they weren't doing it for me so yeah.

Guess I shouldn't really put my trust in people like him.

But I also ask? Why do I like Gigguk's recommendations and not The Critical Drinker's?

Well, for starters, Gigguk is anime and I like anime so I get where he's coming from. The Drinker doesn't really have much for me aside from the anti-woke ranting every now and then.

Gigguk breaks it down when he recommends something with a tad of memes thrown in the mix and it makes for an enjoyable viewing experience.

The Critical Drinker just makes some quips and, to be honest, a tad obnoxious use of some memes and sound effects, especially "The Message" in his vids. That isn't really something I particularly enjoy.

And when I do say this out loud, it would be considered as trolling or something and that really isn't what I'm trying to do.

And then they would say vile stuff to me and I have seen some shit and read some crap that would even destroy people like me and I really fear that.

Gigguk steers clear of controversy as much as he can and he does poke jabs at woke culture like cancel culture and Twitter ranters but that's about it and that's how much I can stomach.

The Critical Drinker comes off as too strong and when I can't stomach it, I'll be considered a wimp and that's not fun. Even fucking 4chan is not that toxic, the movie and tv boards I mean.

Politically Incorrect and R9k and random is a given sure but you expect that from there. I just want the Drinker to present why the movie is shit instead of calling it woke and using surface level literary stuff that's probably not up to snuff with a Tumblr post.

Dumbsville, an equally anti-woke dude is leagues better than The Drinker in reviewing. He likes Arcane, okay, but I want to fucking reject Arcane because of that now cause I feel like he tainted it with his "approval".

I am so fucking glad, Gigguk convinced me to watch it first before that esteemed gentleman whom I have been referring to as The Critical Drinker had the chance to taint it for me. And have you seen his review, dude doesn't know the difference between an MMORPG and an FPS. Gigguk's review of Arcane is superior for the sole reason that he gets the culture and the memes.

I found the Drinker back in the day cause of my anti-woke attitude and I still have an anti-woke attitude, just that I've mellowed out. I will admit though that his video on what is woke is one of the best videos on the topic to date and for that reason I will salute him but aside from that, I'm not a fan of him.

Although his podcast interviews are not too bad, he seems chill when he's not unhinged.

So if you guys like the type of content where it's Sargon of Akkad but for movies, TV, Pop culture and Western culture war with a side of snarkiness that's too much for my sensible sensibilities, then The Drinker is for you. I recommend starting with his Why Modern Movies Suck series. A good start.

Then Gigguk for the animes. And I have a lot to say about some anitubers but that's for another post here.

If you're confused as to where I stand with the Drinker, I'm in the middle of the fence that leans into the dislike team more. Like my feet is on the dislike team's side of the fence but I also hear the like and revere side and I understand some of what they're saying but not really getting into it, y'know? If it weren't for The Drinker making that one video defining woke, which I have been looking for years and where he was not a tad bit unhinged, I would've hated the guy and my past self for even liking his videos and his talking points.

I guess I just need someone to break down the woke movies of the modern day in a not so strong way. Dumbsville and Filmento come to mind. And they're a much more interesting watch than The Drinker is for the modern me.

I just can't help but think as to what the anti-woke internet would say about my opinion. Would they cancel me?

Would they label me a troll?

Would they see me as a threat that deserves termination?

Will they bully me?

Will they harass me?

Will they kick me out of their groups and circles?

So many questions that all hinges on what other people would think of me. They say to try to listen to your side but I tried that before and tries their recommendations and that just didn't do it for me. I have bad taste according to someone online but my brother also says that to me and I think I'm okay.

I just have to consume more media before I get the urge to move to more thought-provoking media.

I want to keep talking here but I should stop now. Let me check. Okay, checked. Not long enough.

So about my anti-woke past, I started my internet journey on Pinterest and then Tumblr and then Facebook before I was introduced to 4chan and Reddit.

I was seeing these posts on Pinterest about gay stuff and trans pride and all that without knowing what it all was but I do remember my reaction to it, it was confusion and a bit of not too fond of what it was.

I still had a very favorable view of Pinterest as a whole of course. Then I went to Tumblr where the porn was still all the rage back then. Loved the things I discovered there. Didn't really had the capacity of higher thought to make posts like this back then. I was just existing and that's okay.

So I was not aware of what anti-woke was or what Gamergate was or why it was happening but I know that there are some things I dislike in Pinterest that I wanted to say something about and Reddit and 4chan came to me. Introduced to me by a friend, these two were my go to back in 2018 to 2019. I was also starting to develop an anti-woke sentiment based on the things I see. I already had a dislike of strong stuff so things that sound like The Critical Drinker I steered clear off.

I discovered KotakuInAction (Gamergate), TumblrinAction (Anti-Tumblr but quite nuanced) and SocialJusticeinAction (unhinged but less interesting brother) and I enjoyed and lapped up all the things they said. How gays are ruining media (one can argue that it is true, new characters are more favorable than rewrites and I have a lot to say about rewrites) and how the ESG focused companies are bowing down to the woke mob (which I pretty much agree, I have the idea that if the people crying doesn't know what the thing they're trying to change is then they're not worth jack and is best to be ignored or provide a polite reply that says no).

I started with the news article reviewing sites like Mr. Obvious or No Bullshit. Obvious was better and he had this humor I liked. He was just repetitive and that really wasn't doing it for me then I started looking into anti-woke media analysis cause I always saw woke media analysis like that one Meduse and Athena are feminists and such (Yas, beotch slay!!!!; sorry I had to).

So I found the Drinker through that. He was still under a million subs and stuff but he scratched an itch.

Then the pandemic happened and the lockdowns, I got to thinking about things and I realized that being anti-woke isn't all that. How? I tried their recommendations and I wasn't really feeling them.

I tried the ones they dislike or the ones I know they will dislike and I got to enjoy those.

I still remember reading my first true LGBT webtoon called Acception and it still is my standard for LGBT media.

I had some things to go through during those years and I guess the strong opined individual is something I'm not very fond of developed greatly during that time.

I know I'm weak and I want to understand how to get better. I've been trying ever since.

I know that I went kinda off topic but hmmmm.

That's all from me for now. Go away now.

[eisforeidolon]

'stiel shippers are already making up conspiracy theories about how 15x19 ending is actually a fake, homophobic ending meant to fool people and 15x20 will have the true ending where Cass comes back and their ship becomes unequivocally, mutually canon and it's endgame. They've gone full TJLC with the fix-it episode theory and I can't say that I'm surprised at all.

Yeah, negative levels of surprise there. 

When Misha was posting all those travel pictures from around the US while J2 were quarantining, it was all a ruse!  TPTB made him post old pictures to hide where he was and his generic motel rooms could be in Vancouver!  He lives in Washington, so that’s probably close enough he doesn’t have to quarantine anyway!  They can’t leave the guy who saVeD tEH ShOw out of the last two episodes!!  Doesn’t matter that they let the actors spoil Mark P. and Jake A. and Jim B.’s returns, nah, they had to try and keep whether Misha was there or not a surprise!

Now this.  They managed to recognize when an episode was pandering to bibros with 15x19.  Which honestly was a bit of an accomplishment for them, given the hilarious exercise in palpable denial their “meta” about Red Meat is.  It certainly isn’t even all of them that managed it, given the usual blinkered nonsense floating around declaring Dean being drunk is desolation about Castiel (not, you know, hopelessness their whole world is still gonna end and everybody is gone but him, Sam, and Jack - just like their Mary who? nonsense in season 13).  Not to mention the insisting to each other Dean was totally willing to kill Sam to get Cas back, lalalalaing right through how the brothers were offering to kill each other and both be gone for the revival of, again, everybody else.  I digress ... and go on for a bit after this, so have a cut:

The point is, they recognize that having the Winchesters drive off into the sunset together is pandering to bibros, but they refuse to accept that whole scene destroying Castiel’s character was just pandering to them.  Despite how out of nowhere with zero previous buildup to support it being twue lurve it was.  Despite how this was supposedly planned for a year, yet the characters have been more at odds than ever.  Despite how one-sided it was.  Despite how, no matter how much they keep insisting to people in the comments under official CW posts that there is NO WAY to see it as anything but romantic, non-shippers and more casual fans keep daring to say they see it as familial (the NERVE!).  Despite how, while you could fairly say it’s become The Jack Show in recent years, it has never been the Dean & Cas show outside of shippers’ fevered imaginations.  So while pandering to them any harder than was already done is gonna get some WTF from the general audience?  Pandering to bibros just means making Sam & Dean’s show about ... Sam & Dean.  Which nobody in the general audience is gonna bat an eye at.

Doesn’t matter that the network president still talks about doing a revival with, specifically, J2.  Doesn’t matter most of the legitimate press over the series ending focuses particularly on J2 and Sam & Dean’s ending.  Doesn’t matter that the ones the actual co-showrunners consulted about tweaking the finale scripts post-COVID are, repeat it with me, J2.  Jared is totally a cheerleader for their ship, we know this because reasons!  Jensen must have changed his mind since last time he said his character was straight, because nobody’s asked him in the last five minutes and that’s the “right” answer they want him to say!  Misha said Jensen was totally into it and Misha *cough* never lies!

As I’ve said before, I put nothing 100% past Dabb.  I would not be even a little surprised if we get at least somebody mentioning somewhere next episode that Castiel got resurrected off-screen again.  Or if there’s some implication the brothers see him again in a way shippers could pretend totally had to involve hooking up with Dean. However, while we know Misha will bend whichever way the minion $$$ wind blows, and Dabb comes off as desperate for ass-pats on twitter from the hellers & minions blowing smoke up his ass?  He has played both sides for years in ways the general audience can dismiss (again, hard to do that and make reciprocated twue lurve “cannon”).  Dabb is also a co-showrunner with Singer who isn’t all over fandom and seemed kind bemused by it and previously said the ship was never discussed as a thing in the writer’s room while the ‘hellers were insisting their secret storyline was totes in there, guise. 

Likewise, I would be very surprised if after years of being harassed by a handful of disrespectful asshole “fans” to do so, Jensen agreed to just give in and change the character he’s been very invested in playing for fifteen years to please those jerks.  For something that suddenly and arbitrarily changes the character’s sexuality away from how he has explicitly said he has been playing it for fifteen years for a 40+ year old character in the very last episode.  For something Misha has implied he and Berens went behind his back to do in terms of Castiel’s end - that any idiot with two brain cells to rub together could figure out would lead to more harassment directed his way especially if he dared object (and would be objecting to another actor’s choices for their own character). For something that undermines what he has said repeatedly that he sees as the fundamental basis of the show.

None of that matters, though!  They’ve convinced themselves that they’re the only real audience and only they know the true story - the rest of us are just some sad definitely tiny group of pathetic hangers on that don’t understand the show has Changed Now and is really about the grEatEST LurVe stORy nEVeR tolD!  It’s what their whole echo chamber the whole audience wants ... because they say so!  

[etlunainmorte]

The Sick Rose ( V X Reader )

~ A request by a lovely friend from Twitter about a Modern College AU V helping a dear underclassman reader with her assignment. I hope you like it.

***

There. He saw her sitting on her own again on that old bench next to that tree.

And this time, she's reading something. Seemed like an old book.

She never noticed or suspected anything. Or maybe he was just too careful not to be noticed. But, whatever the case was, V would always see her sitting there, alone, and minding her own business. And she would never notice anything else while she's preoccupied in that tiny, private bubble of hers.

Normally, V would be minding his own business, as well. Either going to his next class alone while streaming Paganini or Debussy on his phone for his ears only, or listening to his best friends, Nero and Nico, talk about their favorite games and movies on their way back to their dorms. V has always been preoccupied with something else to notice anything.

Until this freshman, that is.

It began just a little over a week ago. And it was during one of those rare occasions where some seniors would get the opportunity to observe the junior literary classes. Or sometimes, take over as "assistant professors" for these underclassmen for a while.

During that time, the poor professor had to go to the clinic due to a very unsavory reason he opted not to disclose, and kindly asked V to take over for the meantime. He was teaching the comedic works of William Shakespeare.

While most of the students were clearly bored out of their own wits ( some were extremely interested for reasons V chose not to overthink about ), he noticed one person who looked genuinely interested in the topic.

That girl from the last row.

V noticed how she listened to every explanation and every word he said. Every so often, he would see her nod as she took some notes. And one time even, she tried to raise a hand to ask him something but, she somehow withdrew at the last moment. V honestly wondered why, because he would've gladly answered any questions she would ask.

The next day, V noticed her sitting on that bench with her headphones on while doodling something on her tablet. He tried to get her attention but, he chose not to since he didn't want to bother her, or anything. And the day after that, on that very same spot he saw her writing something on a journal, still with her headphones on. Either way, ever since that impromptu Shakespeare lecture, V found himself somehow a bit drawn to her and her sunny, and yet curious vibes. He would be lying if he told himself that was not the case.

It all began just a little over a week ago, and she didn't even notice him looking at her, not even once.

However this time, V noticed there was something off about her. Like something changed in that light - hearted disposition of hers that always drew him in. He tried to pinpoint what exactly, and after a short while, he noticed her intense facial expression as she poured all of her focus on that old book she most probably borrowed from the library. There was something a bit tense in the way she flipped those pages, the little trembling of those fingers as they moved, and the way she curled her lips as they slightly opened and closed when she read.

And most importantly, it looked like she needed some help. An urgent one.

Excusing himself from his two best friends, he composed himself and went towards her. Brushing an almost invisible crumb off his crisp white shirt, he cleared his throat and thanked the Gods above that he somehow remembered her name.

"Miss (L/N)?" He awkwardly began. Then, seeing that she didn't hear him, he spoke once more. "Miss (L/N)?"

Oh, the way her eyes widened when she finally noticed! The way that mouth of hers dropped and the way she almost lost her composure the moment their eyes met.

It's as if the girl didn't really expect that he would casually approach her like this.

And honestly? It kind of made V's heart jump. But only a little bit. He really wanted to help her, so he tried his very best not to get swept off by his own emotions and focused on the problem ahead.

"Mr. Sparda!" She stuttered, scrambling on her feet. "I d - didn't expect you to - "

"Please, no need to worry." V reassured her as calmly as he could. The girl remembered his name as well, and his traitorous heart did more than just jump this time around.

Relax, V. Relax. He thought. You're here to help an underclassman.

"You seem to be,... ahh,... having a little difficulty on that,... book of yours." V went on, in a voice he hoped was calm enough. "Would you indulge this fool and let him help you with whatever you need?"

There. He said it. Did he sound too strange? Was he too forward? Did he sound creepy? She did look like a meteor has just crash landed in front of her.

But, whatever the case was, there's no turning back now.

"Umm," She began as she handed V the old book.

And by Jove! V almost flipped when he realized what it was! It was none other than Blake, himself! His favorite poet!

"I quite don't understand William Blake." The girl went on. "His words are simple and yet, when I try to explain them, or make sense of them, ahh,... I don't know! The words just avoid me." She collapsed on the bench and sighed as she massaged her temples. The works of Blake seemed to give her such headaches.

Sitting right next to her, he asked, "What do you find difficult about Blake's work?"

"You see, about this rose thing." She said, leaning slightly closer to him as she pointed at some words on the book on his hands.

Her hair smelled nice,...

No, V! Focus!

"I don't know if it's talking about an actual plant, or something that is actually sick,... "

"Love."

"I'm sorry?"

"Oh! I mean,... " And for a moment there, V felt his sweat run cold the moment he uttered that word.

And the girl? She seemed to tense when she heard the very word.

Like he somehow hit a deep chord within her.

"The Sick Rose is about love."

"Love?" She repeated. "You mean, a sick kind of love?"

"Well, yes." V said with a knowing smile on his face. "You know the saying love is blind? Most of the times, love prevents you from seeing the whole truth. Thus, the invisible worm."

"And the crimson joy?" There. Those glistening eyes of hers as she hang onto his every word,...

"The crimson joy means deep, dark love. The kind of love that destroys the purity and innocence of the rose."

"I,... see,... " The girl uttered, more to herself than to V.

Seeing that she's still not somehow convinced, he explained further. "You know when you love someone too much to the point of blindness, it destroys not only the person but yourself, as well. The true meaning of your feelings would be replaced with that of obsession, of selfishness. Of destruction and corruption. Of wanting this person only to yourself and no one else's. You keep this person enclosed deeply inside your own affections until the purity and innocence of their own feelings towards you die. And sometimes, this sickness grows too large, it affects other people as well. And that is the death of true love, as we know it."

The girl pondered for a while, thinking about everything V has just told her. Then, after a while, she shook her head as she grinned and chuckled to herself. And V found this quite amusing.

"Yeah, like," She said in a low voice, like a penitent confessing her sins before a priest. "You're loving someone too much, you fail to notice how destructive it has become to them and to yourself. The invisible worm. I get it now." She faced V once more, and with a bright smile, she said, "I guess I don't want to write an analysis on The Sick Rose, after all!"

This made V's eyes wide with both shock and surprise. "Oh, that's,... I see! Well, you - "

"But, thank you so much for your help, Mr. Sparda. It truly feels like you've taken a peek inside my deepest and darkest secrets."

"Pardon - ?"

"Can you help me choose a different Blake poem, instead? Something that feels lighter and brighter?" And just like that, after having a small glimpse of her own precious thoughts, V felt that she closed her doors on his face once more. Of course, there was something more about this girl, something that made him see a different color about her. Something,... intense for a change, that clashed with that sunny vibe she often showed to most people. And to him.

And it made her even more interesting to V.

This mysterious girl,...

... he has to know more about her.

"What about The Cradle Song?" V offered as he gestured towards her headphones that he saw peeking from her school bag. "We can listen to the actual song instead of me explaining it."

The girl smiled and she nodded, accepting the offer. "Sounds good to me."

It was safe to say that V and the girl has established some sort of solid connection between the two of them after listening to that song. Afterwards, she even recommended him one of her favorites, a song called Honesty by someone who wears pink and sweats a lot. At least in V's understanding of that particular band's name. Nevertheless, V enjoyed that one, and more other songs she recommended whenever they get the chance to see each other, whether to study, read books, or to just hang out.

As friends? Maybe yes. Maybe not. Who could say?

All V knew was that he was glad he approached her that day when she needed help with that Blake poem analysis. And those conflicting feelings she chose not to reveal at first.

***

[ritsuleo-moved]

omg hi cloud so i remember i tried out miraculous ladybug at one point because i like to try out new media and i remember being so annoyed by the one episode i watched and afterwards i was like "i really could have used half an hour for so many other things instead of watch this mess" 😭 GOD the way i forgot her name marionette?? the way she fucking trips over air sometimes is so annoying like she thinks shes straight out of some slice of life anime and other shit i can go more and more on about ughh. glad you healed

HI LUKE!! yeah i'm not surprised that it annoyed you so bad sorry u went through that </3

i forgot her name after reading this if im honest hold on. marinette. yeah it's meant to make her a "cute clumsy awkward teenage girl" and keep some distance between her as a civilian and hero since ladybug is so put together but really it just comes off as annoying especially with how often it happens and like you said how she trips over nothing. every time i see her trip in the opening i get a little more annoyed

it does have some good concepts like personally i enjoy the function of kwamis and their jewlery and the idea of a ladybug/black cat superhero duo representing creation and destruction and the silly crush dynamic would be nice if it didn't suck but the execution of everything is so bad it's unforgivable

unfortunately i dont think ive healed yet i'm going to put the rest of this under a read more to spare everyone bc i have a lot of thoughts on this.

i've seen a lot of people say its a good show like. are we watching the same thing ? this fucking sucks. the writing is horrendous and its being dragged out unnecessarily. when they actually do something interesting it's immediately scrapped. as an example, the bully character chloe was on the track for redemption and then they went "nevermind" and replaced it with bringing her nicer sister in because the creator got mad that people are capable of change and said that this 14 yr old character didn't deserve redemption. and that's not an exaggeration he went on a twitter rant about it. the creators being shit (thomas astruc specifically in this case) is an entire other topic i wont get into just know that they should die :|

also the characters going back on development isn't a one time thing. this is a smaller example that doesn't matter much but still made me mad, but marinette's best friend alya is suddenly convinced that she's just being jealous during an episode where adrien is being forced by his father to go on a trip to model with another girl. it makes no sense since alya and marinette have been friends for a while now, so i don't think she'd be as dismissive.

and of course the "lovesquare" between marinette and adrien aka ladybug and chat noir. the showrunners Know that they've always appealed to not only a younger demographic but shipping culture or whatever its called as well like that was probably their main goal which is why they use the main characters' relationship as a "will they won't they" so heavily even now. it gets people to keep watching

there's an episode where they finally reveal their identities and start dating but then there's a whole bunch of time travel shit and it's a prime example of them dragging it out on purpose. like its the laziest and strangest copout ive ever seen. they literally just went yeah here's the relationship they Could have but because of their love chat becomes evil in the future ! or at least thats what ladybug thinks ! so now they cant get together because she thinks their love destroys the world like. are you kidding me?

also going back to the point of character development there's more than 2 miraculouses of course, the ladybug and black cat are just the main two. and eventually basically everyone in the same class as adrien and marinette get their own miraculous and this causes conflict between the two because she keeps calling on other heros instead of her original partner. marinette ends up saying something unecessarily mean to adrien and he decides to… completely give up on being a hero because of it?

he leaves his miraculous on a rooftop all alone (dangerous because there's a literal supervillain who has been trying to get these to destroy the world) and discards his kwami (who is basically his best friend and is attached to the miraculous). i cannot stress enough that he would never do this. adrien's only freedom in his daily life is being a superhero and to give that up is unthinkable. his days are planned out for him down to the minute by his extremely controlling father and he finds no joy in the things he's forced to do, but he does find joy in being a superhero and getting to actually express himself outside of his father's curated image of him as chat noir.

also lastly just some things i would change off the top of my head:

the design of the hero suits. they aren't good or age-appropriate even a little bit and it really annoys me. i saw someone redesign them so they look like teenagers actually made them and i really liked those designs. if i find them again i'll link it here

the sheer amount of miraculouses there are. i wish there were less but unfortunately it makes for good toy marketing and a lot of hype around the reveal of a new hero or miraculous combo. i think it's just unecessary to have so many though especially to the point of everyone in the same class having a miraculous. at that point it shouldn't be hard for the villain to figure out their identities

sorry that was really long <3

[logicalstansadvice]

Everybody saying Sebastian should do this and do that.>>

They think they understand him better than anyone else because they know his address, his friends, what he says in interviews, etc. That's why they want him to dump all his friends, why they hate the movie choices he makes, why they hate who he works with, how he talks, does interviews, they even know about mental health of him more than his therapist.

See the reaction to today's interview: ' if I were his friend, I would send him a message telling him to see a therapist'. They're still saying he was on drugs. Imagine being friends with a person like that.

I have anxiety, so these people come and say I need a therapist, or ask if I'm using drugs, that I shouldn't dress or speak as I speak. How would you feel about friends like that?

They have no touch with reality, no one is going to convince me that these people are in relationships or have a life outside of fandom. No way.

You don't act like that in real life.

Anon 2: These fans have been fed into thinking he owes them something. Like, I know a crazy woman who says he only had money because of the cons, that he never made money from movies, that Sodebergh movie he made for no money, making these crazy people think they owe him, to a point I saw someone complaining about how he used his money. They're like idiots who say I pay your salary and think they can treat you any way they want.

Anon 3: / Really? Why? What gives YOU the right to judge? Are you perfect? Are you a saint? Are you even fully self aware? Because from what I noticed, those who can't move on, are usually worse than him, the only difference is they are not aware of it.

Anon 4: / This! This is the actual problem. Not any of the things they call him out for. Their problem is that he has a gf, they tried to force him to dump her (like they did with ellie) only it didn't work this time, so they are trying harder and harder, hoping that if they threaten to "destroy" him they'll get the same results as with ellie and he'll be single and under their control again.

Anon 5: /// Exaclty this! Imo is the dissapointed fans who should leave sm, not him. Like, you're upset? Fuck off already and stop moaning about it. No one is keeping you.

Anon 6: / You know what, I'm actually sick of the covid shit. Yeah what he did was wrong but it was not illegal so they should take it out to the authorities if they didn't like the fact that people were allowed to travel. Like it's perfectly legal, I am allowed to do it, but you're calling me out because you disagree? Fuck off and moan to the government and ask for better laws.

Anon 7: If I see one more anon saying he is upset about oh the so many things seb has done wrong, I'm gonna respond with cusses. You have been warned. Sorry but I'm sick of the moaners. It's been a fucking year now people. Either move the fuck on or shut the fuck up!

Anon 8: So Seb's fandom feels entitled to harrass, bully, monitor him and his gf, friends, family, and to call him out and cancel him for every little thing they disagree with, but the moment they get called out for fucked up behaviour they wanna cancel him again? What a surprise! They are incapable of actually affecting him in any way, when will they learn this? Their stupid cancel campaigns on twitter don't matter for shit. No one cares. All the celebs get "cancelled" today, apparently it's the new trend.

Anon 9: This new trend of fans bullying celebrities has got to be the worst iteration yet of celebrity worship syndrome and parasocial relationships./ Agree I find it frightening. First fans think it's ok for to invade someone's privacy, snooping into areas private life using 'they are famous, comes with the territory.' Then they raise the stakes to it's ok to send them hate because 'that's what happens in fandoms, or go be an accountant if you don't like it' or 'you owe your fame to me, I paid for your movies and went to cons.' Now it's up to 'I have an opinion on your choices and since I'm a fan I have the right not just to be heard but you must do what I told you to do or I will do my best to make you miserable and ruin your life and career.'

💄

[queercapwriting]

Can we pls have suicidal!someone, if it's not too much trouble? I know that you already wrote one but I just really really need it right now. Maybe trying to keep it a secret until there's an attempt or something. idk. whatever you write will be fantastic, I'm sure :)

It’s not something she talks about – Danvers is right.

She doesn’t like talking about herself.

And with good reason. Who’d stay, if she really let herselftalk?

Who’d stay, if she said that the first time she tried tokill herself, she was fourteen and the second time, she was seventeen andnearly wrapped her beloved pickup around a tree?

Nearly, because at the last moment, she couldn’t bear thepain she’d cause the tree with the damn truck.

The concussion and the stitches from the crash off to theside were almost enough pain to make the attempt worth it.

Almost.

But it was still pain.

Which was exactly the problem.

So it’s not something she talks about.

But it’s something she thinks about – usually passively,sometimes actively, sometimes a painful combination of both – nearly every day.

Because who the hell would miss her, anyway?

For a long time, she didn’t know how to answer thatquestion.

For a long time, the idea that her father might miss herspurred her to do it, to end it, to spite him, to relieve him, because look what he did to thedaughter he called disgusting. He might miss her, but he’d also be happier ifshe were out of his life.

Is having a daughter who killed herself more or lesshumiliating than having a daughter who loves other women?

No one would miss her.

But now?

Alex would.

And she loves her for it.

And she hates her for it.

Loves her, because god, god, god, no one’s seen Maggie’sscars and not flinched before. Alex just looks and listens and holds her, andtells her things about helping her heal, about not judging her, about wantingto be there for her.

Hates her, because god, god, god, if she didn’t feel guiltyenough, selfish enough, before, well, having someone care about her? Havingsomeone care about her, maybe even love her – Alex says she loves her, and god,Maggie wants it to be true, doesn’t want it to be true, because god, so muchpressure – having someone love her gives her all this responsibility.

All this responsibility not to break Alex’s heart.

And she’ll fail.

She knows she will.

She always fails.

Better sooner than later, she figures, on one of thosenights.

One of those nights when her one side convinces her otherthat she’s not enough, that she’ll never be enough. That it’ll never geteasier, that there’s no point in hoping in a hopeless world, because turn onthe news, because look out the window, because check the twitter feed.

Everywhere there’s hope, there’s even more pain.

Because hope is just that – pain. Delayed. Pain brewing,pain waiting to bloom, to consume, to destroy.

She sits on the edge of her bed and she fiddles with thebottle of sleeping pills she holds loosely in her hands. She turns it over, andover, and over.

She reads and rereads the note she wrote – and wrote, anddestroyed, and wrote, and destroyed, and wrote, and destroyed – the note she’sbeen writing since she was fourteen years old, now finally addressed to someonewho might cry over it. Not that she wants that. Not that she wants her to be inpain.

But better pain now than later, right? She’ll move onbetter, the sooner it is.

Alex. Alex, Alex, Alex.

Her hands don’t shake with the fistful of pills, but herentire body jumps, because there’s a knock on her door. An insistent knock.

A knock with a voice.

“Maggie. Maggie, open the door.”

Alex.

Alex, Alex, Alex.

“Gimme a second, Danvers,” she calls, and she’s surprised and a little bit impressed byhow normal she thinks her own voice sounds.

She’s not sure if she’s relieved or disappointed or infuriated.

She’s probably all of the above.

She thinks she spills all the pills back into the bottle, and she thinks she puts the bottle safely under her pillow.

She does neither successfully, and Alex? Alex notices right away.

“Maggie,” is all she says, because she must read something in her face, she must see something in her stance, she must have gleaned something from her overly affectionate, then overly withdrawn, then overly affectionate, then nonexistent, texts.

She strides past her and she crosses the studio in one step and she sweeps the random pills Maggie missed off the floor and her hands shake when she retrieves the hastily stashed bottle from under the pillow, and her hands shake even more as she takes Maggie’s folded note into her fingers.

She doesn’t open it, but she stares at her name on the front of it – ornately written, beautifully written, simply written – like she’s burning the script into her memory, and she doesn’t look up at Maggie for a long, long time.

She sits on Maggie’s bed – where Maggie had been sitting, just moments before – and she stares at the note without reading it, and she stares and she stares and when she speaks, her voice is calmer than Maggie expected it to be, and her voice is deader than Maggie expected it to be.

“I’m not gonna ask you to tell me why and I’m not gonna ask you to talk more than you want to. Which, I get, is probably not at all. And I’m not gonna ask to read this note, because dammit, Maggie, I never want to have to. I’m not going to call you selfish because you’ve had enough of that bullshit in your life, and I’m not going to tell you it’ll get better, because I can’t promise that it will. But I am gonna be here for you, I can promise that. Whether you like it or not, I can promise that I’m gonna be here and I’m gonna love you and I’m gonna make you as happy as anybody can, as often as anybody can, and I’m gonna promise you that you’re worth it, because god, Maggie, you’re everything good in this world and you don’t even know it. But before I promise you all that, before I show you all that, I need you to step outside the apartment. Just for a minute.”

Maggie’s too bewildered to argue. Too bewildered to protest, too bewildered to do anything but turn and step out into her own hallway.

She tries not to listen. Tries not to listen, but she does.

Because Alex is letting out muffled screams, probably against a pillow, and then the chain on her heavy bag is clanging and punch after punch after punch is being thrown, and Alex is sobbing and Alex is raging and Alex is beating herself senseless because she’s not enough, she’s never enough, and god, god, god, she doesn’t know what she’d do if Maggie wasn’t… here… one day, if… she can’t…

Maggie waits in the hall like Alex told her to, because she’s too numb to do anything else, and the silence that soon fills her studio is scarier than Alex’s fists, than Alex’s muffled screaming. But still, she waits. Waits. Waits. Not sure if she’s feeling nothing or everything.

Alex opens the door again, and Maggie catches a glimpse of bloodied knuckles before Alex holds her hands out, palms forward, telling Maggie that she’s gotten out what she needed to get out, that she wants Maggie in her arms. If she wants to be there.

Maggie shakes her head and pushes past Alex into the apartment, dragging her by the wrist into her bathroom.

Neither of them speak as Maggie sits Alex on the edge of the tub and rummages for alcohol and neosporin and gauze.

Neither of them speak as she kneels in front of her and cleans Alex’s knuckles and bandages Alex up.

Neither of them speak until Maggie, inexplicably, chuckles.

“I’m the one trying to kill myself and you’re the one getting injuries cleaned up.”

Alex inhales sharply, and Maggie shakes her head, leaning forward to rest her forehead on Alex’s chest.

“I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t joke, I just – ”

But Alex’s arms are around her and Alex is kissing her hair.

“I know, I know. I know.”

“It’s not that I want to leave you – ”

“I know.”

“Or for you to be hurt.”

“I know.”

“I never want you hurt.”

“I know.”

“I just – ”

“Maggie. This isn’t about how I feel. This is about you. And we’re still somehow talking about me.”

It’s Maggie’s turn, this time.

“I know.”

They both smile a little at the role reversal. Smile through bloodshot eyes and stinging tears and shattered spirits.

“You don’t think I’m a bad person?” Maggie chokes out, not for the first time, and what’s left of Alex’s heart breaks.

“No. I think you’re a brave person. I think you love so deep it feels like it can kill you, so I think you need to learn to let me love you, to let me be here for you. To love you… yourself. But no, Maggie. Of course I don’t think you’re a bad person.”

A heated combination of disbelief, disgust, relief, and pure, pure agonized love do battle on Maggie’s face, and she shudders in Alex’s arms.

“You’ll stay with me tonight?” she’s terrified to ask, but Alex doesn’t think she’s a bad person, Alex thinks she’s worthy of her love, Alex thinks she’s worthy of loving herself, Alex is… here.

“I’ll stay with you always, Maggie.”