#I'm kind of goldfish brained

[welcometomybraincomics]

Me: *like a dramatic damsel* Ack! I'm in so much pain! How could that possibly be? Am I fated to live this cursed life forevermore?

The me of yesterday, who just spent the last 2 days hand sanding a mask and then drew for 4 hours when I was already having issues:

[lieslab]

Nothing new

꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎ ꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎

Pairing: Minho X gn reader

Summary: Minho finds you on the porch when the hurt from the issues your father gave you tends to bubble up and fizz over.

Genre: Comfort/hurt

Word Count: 1.3K

Trigger warning: Daddy issues, grief, depression, anxiety, mentions of physical violence and emotional abuse.

A/N: I forgot that I wrote a daddy issue post like a week or two ago because I have the memory of a goldfish. I haven't done a Minho drabble in a while and honestly, this was one hundred percent completely self-indulgent and I cannot lie about it. I was spiraling and this was what conjured up in the middle of my grief. I'm so sorry if you can relate, we deserve better <3

_ _ _

"Why are you hanging out here alone?” Minho plopped down beside you on the back wooden porch. 

You couldn’t remember how long you had been here. Maybe it was mere minutes or maybe it was more like hours. Time seemed to blend together out here and you let it. 

The sun was starting to set. It painted the sky with roaring reds and bright oranges. Streaks of clouds were beginning to fade further and further away into the distance. Soon the sun would set and the moon would begin to climb the darkened skies. 

“I’ve been calling your name for a while. I thought you were in our bedroom, but you didn’t respond. I even thought you were showering until I found the bathroom empty. I was starting to think you had been kidnapped or something.” 

You shrugged, “I’m just here.” 

“So what are you thinking about?” 

“Noth-” 

“Bullshit. You don’t turn into a recluse unless you’re truly struggling with something. You know that I’m not going to judge you, so what are you really thinking about?” 

“Everything all at once.” 

“Anything specific?” 

“Family.” 

His face softened at the mention of your family. Life with your family has been chaotic. He knew the stories, you always told him about them. More specifically, he knew the issues that you had with your father. 

“Daddy issues again?” 

“Or perhaps my brain is the issue.” You shifted and leaned back. Your legs hung down the descending stairs, but your upper half clung to the deck. “I just…I just wish I could stop making it a big deal. I wish things didn’t affect me so much. I wish actions and words would run off me like water instead of sticking.” 

“It’s not wrong to mourn the things you missed out on. I understand that it must be hard to deal with the cards life gave you. Everyone has struggles and yours just happens to be your father.” 

“You’d think it’d stop once you grow up.” 

He paused for a moment and his eyes went out to the backyard. Off in the distance, the shared vegetable garden bloomed. Bright grown plants flourished in every direction. Two white cabbage butterflies chased each other around and around. Soon they’d land on an outer cabbage leaf and begin to munch away without a care in the world. 

“I think realizing it when you get older makes it worse. You become aware of the injustice and hurt which causes a cognitive disconnect. It makes it cut that much deeper. You don’t have to feel bad for feeling something so natural.” 

“You know what the worst part is?” You finally got out. The sting of tears began to collect in the corners of your eyes. “He’s not even a good man. We’re talking about one of the worst people out there and yet I still feel myself chasing after him.” 

“The kind of person who picks strangers over his own children. The type who spends money on stupid things instead of the youngest child’s needs. The kind of person who has no issue yelling and screaming in someone’s face. The kind that lets their anger control them and make all the decisions.” 

“But yet…I keep chasing. I keep hoping and praying. I’ve started to talk to God,” a tearful snort fell from your mouth. “I don’t even know if I believe in him, but I’ve talked to him. I keep asking for a better father, but all I hear is silence.” 

“They say you should stay in contact with your parents because they’re your parents, but what if a parent is making you so stressed and upset, your hair falls out? What if it leads to sobbing and emotional distress? What if it leads to screaming and fighting? What if trying to love my father is what kills me?” 

Minho’s heart broke apart at your words. He knew it was bad and it had been for a while, but he didn’t know it was this bad. His hand instinctively reached out for yours. The warmth of his palm connected with yours and curled around your fingers. 

“And you know what the worst part is?” 

“Hmm?” 

“If I leave him, that’s it. He won’t change and try to become a better person. He won’t think about his actions and go out of his way to change. He’ll just point the finger and belittle me. Run my name through the mud to every family member. He’ll belittle me, turn me into an outsider, pull the curtain over everyone’s eyes again. He’ll always be the good father in his eyes and I’ll just become another asshole that did him wrong. Just like the hundreds of other people that he once upon a time knew.” 

Narcissism was deadly for some. Too much of an ego and too much self-imposed-importance left people craving attention. No matter whose character they had to rip apart, they’d do it. Whether that meant belittling them to everyone they knew, screaming at them, or even assaulting them. 

Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. 

All the attention had to be swallowed by them. Like some sort of powerful sun, the rays never knew how brightly they burned. Any ounce of criticism was a pot of boiling hot water. 

The huffs and puffs. The finger in your face. The yelling and screaming as spit flew everywhere. The broadening rage that seemed to fill the room without a single sound. The angry marching from them as you tiptoed along on eggshells. Just when you let out a breath, they snapped and lashed out. 

You didn’t have time to react before you became a victim of another episode. Another rage fest where things went flying. When the refrigerator door slammed shut so hard that the shelves full of condiments shook. The way that cupboards were dented from the force of wood slamming against wood. 

Your dad would always be your dad, but he’d never be a good father. You could cry and cry and cry. You could cry enough tears to create an ocean, but it’d never be enough to wash the hate out of your father. That realization caused your heart to break apart. 

Your biological father would never love you, at least, not the way you loved him. Your chasing was starting to slow down. You could spend a few more years chasing his love and begging on your knees for it, but when was the last time your father said he loved you? 

When was the last time you were your father’s child? When was the last time that your father seemed to give a shit about you? Did he know your favorite color? Did he know the songs that caused your heart to boom with adrenaline? 

Better yet, did he know something as simple as your birthday? Does he know or does he laugh as he asks you because it’s not such a big deal to him? So when he hands you a card from the dollar store with his name, does it feel just as worthless as his love for you? 

“Is it wrong to want to be loved?” 

“Never. It’s never wrong to be loved and I’m sorry you don’t have that kind of love. If you want me to, I’ll share my father with you.” 

“I haven’t even met your father.” 

“Oh, I was talking about Bang Chan.”

“Minho!” You leaned over to lightly slap his shoulder. Before you could reach it, he jerked out of reach. His hand grabbed your wrist and he jerked you closer. 

“Hey!” 

Your annoyance instantly dissolved the moment his lips met yours. Your body relaxed and you began to kiss him back. At this moment, none of your father’s lack of love mattered. Right now, you had this and what a fool you’d be to ever give it up.

| ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ |

Taglist: @lina-linny @straykidsstanforeverandever @seungnishi @stellasays45

Masterlist

Taglist and inbox rules

[angel13xo]

see guys natsu saying sorry to lucy in the recent episode IS A BIG THING RIGHHTT???

like im not crazy that should've been a way bigger, more serious moment!!!! (why'd he make that weird ass joke after he's never made any joke like that before 💀😭)

and i'm pretty sure he doesn't say sorry often or even at all (he probably does and i don't remember *goldfish brain*)

BUT LIKE CMKOOOONNNN HIM BOWING AND SAYING SORRY THAAAAATTTT IS A NALU MOMENT NOT THE GROPING AND THE WEIRD JOKES PLZ GUYSSS i understand (kind of - not really) that it's funny and it's a gag in the show but ITS BEEEN YEARS PLZ GET SERIOUS A LIL BIT MORE IM DESPERATE

NALU WAS LITERALLLLYYY EVERYTHING IN THE GMH AND FINAL SEASON AND TARTAROS ARC SO WHYS IT LIKE THIS NOW CMOOOONNN WE CAN DO BETTER THAN THISSSSSS 😭😭😭💀💀

(sorry for the rant - i'm also not caught up in the manga - not a manga reader really but maybe one day - )

[prince-dork-the-companion]

Batfamily Presentation Night - Pizza - Cass

Masterlist

Cass: I'll go :)

Duke: Uh-oh.

Tim: Interested to see where this one goes.

Duke: Is this cheating? This feels like cheating.

Jason: When did you make this?

Cass: Before today. :)

Jason: I shouldn't be surprised.

Damian: That is a very useful visual.

Steph: I have nothing to say.

Duke: A good, hardworking employee.

Tim: We should get a cat and name it Cheese.

Damian: That is a horrible name for a cat.

Bruce: No.

Jason: Wh -

Duke: Are those turtles???

Bruce: Where did you get this image.

Cass: :)

Jason: B you have to explain.

Bruce: Cassandra.

Tim: So Bruce can have pet turtles, but when we do it's a problem? I see how it is.

Steph: Tim this is the perfect opportunity to go on your Jason Arc.

Jason: Your what?

Dick: Oh, I remember them! Those are the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! They're vigilantes in New York. Super cool guys. Have a bit of an addiction to pizza, though.

Cass: And the sewers.

Dick: Yeah they live in sewers, it's kinda gross, but they're nice.

Jason: Please tell me this photo isn't in the New York sewers.

Tim: The rats, the rats... we're the rats...

Dick: Oh, that's a good one of me.

Bruce: Dick.

Dick: If you mention the rules about eating on patrol I will throw a fork at you.

Steph: Haven't we already discussed that, Bruce?

Dick: Y- WAIT!

Jason: [cackling]

Dick: So you HAVE been stealing my pizza??

[general laughter]

Steph: Why does that image look so sad...

Babs: Don't diss the deep dish.

Jason: Steph, you're not gonna say ANYTHING about the order it's in?

Steph: Nah it looks fine.

Duke: This is favouritism.

Steph: Sauce on top of cheese is a far cry from PINEAPPLE, DUKE.

Duke: It's good!!

Jason: It's not.

Jason: Wh-

Tim: Why are you so angry... What did that burger do to you...

Jason: CASS??

Cass: :)

Jason: I can't believe I have to move AGAIN.

Dick: You don't have to move every time we find your apartment.

Jason: It's called PRIVACY, DICK.

Duke: I'm unsure if I should be more concerned about what "Nemo" means or the Pinterest deck.

Jason: Pintrest deck?

Tim: [wheezes]

Dick: Nemo... does Jason eat goldfish crackers on his pizza??

Jason: GOLDFISH? Have you NEVER seen the movie finding Nemo?

Dick: I don't remember what kind of fish he is. Sorry for not having that information STORED AWAY in my brain.

Jason: It's a clownfish, Dick. Kind of like you.

Dick: I'm more of a Dory, I think.

Jason: No, you're those annoying ass seagulls.

Steph: Mine? Mine?

Cass: :)

Steph: EXCUSE ME?

Jason: Digiorno? You WILLINGLY eat DIGIORNO??

Steph: NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE TIME OR SKILL TO HARVEST AND PREPARE THEIR OWN PIZZAS, JASON

Jason: SO BUY SOME.

Dick: There's a really good pizza place on Poplar called Moe's. They give me free pizza.

Jason: Moe's is shit and you know it. I'd eat fucking Dominoes before I eat Moe's.

Dick: YOU TAKE THAT BACK!

Steph: Fight fight fight fight!

Duke: [wheezing]

Tim: Huh what?

Jason: I think I'm gonna be sick.

Dick: It could be worse.

Jason: I don't think it can get any worse than this. I can't believe we're related.

Babs: Y-

Dick: ANYWAYS.

Steph: Tim, you need help.

Duke: He's not the only one.

Steph: Duke, I take back everything I've said about your taste in pizza, this is a war crime.

Duke: This feels backhanded somehow.

Duke: Oh.

Jason: Hm.

Duke: I'll take it.

Steph: THREE STARS?? AND I ONLY GOT TWO???

Duke: L.

Steph: I'm going to unionize against Duke's union.

Bruce: Duke's what?

Jason: Pesto?

Cass: Hm?

Jason: Green pizza sauce. Was it pesto? Tastes like herbs, really notably the basil. It's alright. Not my favourite, but it's alright.

Cass: ...Yes. I think so.

Damian: Only four stars... what do I have to do to receive five stars?

Duke: Dude, are you trying to RIG the competition?

Dick: It's okay Dami, we tied!

Damian: I wish crush all of your pizza flavours.

Jason: There's the answer, kid.

Damian: Hn.

Duke: I smell bias.

Steph: No, no, she's got a point.

Duke: I feel enlightened. Good presentation, 7/10.

Jason: [muttering] So tired of fucking moving...

Dick: You don't have to move, little wing.

Jason: Fuck off.

Steph: I am going to hold off making my judgements but all of you know that Cass's presentation is the best.

Damian: I will go next, as mine is the objectively superior one.

TO BE CONTINUED?

[rukkako]

Yknow, back in the day of around 4??? 5 months ago??? i was playing warframe like every other day, when, upon finishing this one grineer extermination, I recieved this weird transmission. Something about a "candidate" being "ready". While I was heading to extraction I came across this one enemy marked by a red dot, so, without thinking much about it, I killed him and mercy'd him. I remember thinking "damn. My nova prime is so cool" while I looked at her absolutely demolish this random grineer's liver with her parazon. It was only when I returned to my orbiter that I was made aware of what I had just done. I had created him. Coheg Rott.

I didn't know what was happening; who was this man? Why did he have my nova's little bow on his shoulder? Why was he so unbelievably fucking stupid? I stood there, maw agape, listening to Coheg telling me about how I had "taken his arms and his legs but that was no more" and how he "lived and killed, killed and lived" and how he now had a "SECTORRRRRRRRR" and I remember thinking "oh boy. I hope this isn't that much of a problem."

Coheg then proceeded to take my fucking shit every time I went to earth. He took my money. He took my void traces. He even took my rare mods. And every. fucking. time. I had to listen to his stupid ass voice. Telling me how he "was the boss now" and how "Sectorrr… is… mine…!!!! sectorrr!!!! yes!!!!!! sectorrrrrrr!!!!!!!"

I hated Coheg. I grew to absolutely despise him. I had now a bastard, ugly, stupid child taking my lunch money every time I dared go to earth. It was devastating really. I didn't do anything about it for months, and during that time my hatred and contempt for him grew. So I started hatching a plan.

I had to take him down. I couldn't stand the idea of having created such a creature. A tyrant with the brain capacity of a goldfish. So I wised up (watched a bunch of youtube tutorials on liches) and I learnt some stuff. You have to kill his thralls. You have to keep stabbing him in the gut. You need to find out the correct mod order. You want him to have a good weapon like the Kuva Nukor or the Kuva Bramma, and not something like a Kohm.

So I started my mission. I went into his territories. I killed his slightly less ugly children (you're telling me this guy FUCKED?????) and I started stabbing him repeatedly. And getting those requiem mods, oh, it was QUITE the god damn pain, but it was worth it. All to see my bastard son Coheg retort and twist in pain and scream in fear and rage. It filled me with a satisfaction unknown to me up til then.

So I kept. on. doing it. Each time he ran away and each time I relentlessly followed him. He managed to get to sedna. During my travels, I met some kind strangers that stuck with me and helped me take my bastard son Coheg down, them also dealing with their own paternity problems.

And so the moment came. I finally stabbed Coheg three times with my pointy arm weapon and he fled to the proxima region. It. Was. Time.

I equipped my nova. She started this, she had to finish it.

He wailed and screamed and yelled. But he went down in no time.

And I was about to vanquish him… when I remembered.

"This fucking sucker has a Kuva Kohm."

And I realized that, during all that adventure, I'd started to… become used to his fucking raging stupidity. That if I killed him, I was gonna… miss him.

So I didn't.

He follows my orders now. Sector ISN'T his now. And my Coheg nightmares are over.

What's the lesson here folks? Always check out what weapon someone is gonna give you before sleeping with them. Also, I would make an absolutely dogshit abusive mother. So I guess I'm not having any children in the future.

Thanks for reading. And for the last time: Fuck you Coheg. (Affectionate)

[mindibindi]

No Place like Home...? 🌈

So what...Ted Lasso just goldfishes his way into forgetting about his big diverse found family so that he can return to humble, hometown heteronormativity? Look, I get that "be a goldfish" is a cute moment from s1 and an idea that has some (limited) practical value. But isn't it also emblematic of Ted's initial overly positive attitude which ultimately just served to ignore difficult emotions, interactions or situations? This is his big advice to his son and his parting words to his audience? Wasn't the whole point of his time in Richmond and his return to his son to establish and encourage an alternative kind of masculinity? One that expresses, not represses? One that deals with difficulty maturely rather than just avoids it? One that actively and ethically chooses rather than simply doing what's always been done?

Honestly? There was plenty of stuff about the finale that I really liked. Colin's kiss was the best bit. That godawful wedding moment the worst, for many reasons. But I'm unsure how to even read Ted's ending, and not in a oh-gosh-it's-so-rich-and-ambiguous way but in a whaaaa....???-this-is-not-consistent-storytelling-this-is-missing-the-mark-for-me kinda way. When Ted looks at the camera, are we supposed to feel happy for him? Happy that he is happy? Is it a happy ending? Is he happy?? He doesn't look happy. Or sad. Or content. Or much of anything really. He just looks kind of vacant. Which is how he looked most of the episode. The final game (which wasn't even the final game and I suppose they justified not showing it for "creative" reasons, okay, sure, whatever) was the only time he looked engaged, and even then it wasn't fully. Most of the time, he did look like a gaping goldfish with a 6-second memory.

When it was time to say goodbye to everyone, there was no sense of nostalgia for the past 3 years and no sense of those relationships continuing. There were no promises or assurances of visits or skypes or calls. Phones, planes and the internet suddenly ceased to exist (when they'd served him and Henry quite well up until then). While the corniest song choice ever played (yes! we get it! the sacred struggle of fatherhood! GAAAHH), one family was sacrificed for another because both couldn't possibly co-exist. Two things at once makes brain hurty. After all the good work they did around dismantling traditional models of masculinity, in the end they reinforced a version of masculinity which centred supposedly noble self-sacrifice rather than ethical self-actualisation, regression over growth and singularity over plurality.

Sure, it bookends the series poignantly, if predictably. And truth is, Ted leaving Henry was baked into the premise of the show from ep 1. It's actually a pretty big emotional leap to take with a character but, as the audience, we made that leap because we understood that this extraordinary move away from his son was necessary for adventure, narrative and growth to occur. In real life, this move would've been highly questionable (esp for a female parent). But we are in a fictional reality here so we are bound as well as freed by the rules of genre, character and narrative. Without Ted leaving Henry, there is no story. We also understand that Ted's adventures will ultimately benefit Henry, who gets a dad who is fully engaged, professionally challenged and supported by a community of like-minded peeps who think he's super cool. By sending Ted back (or at least sending him back in this way), it implies that there is no more story to tell, Ted's story is over, his growth is done. It robs him of further growth and adventure, robs his son of a happy and fulfilled dad and robs the audience of imagining future failures and glories all shared by an indefatigable Richmond FC.

The whole point of this show was to show Ted building a new life, home and family after the disintegration of his marriage. This marriage did not provide the space or opportunity for him to heal childhood wounds or expand as a man. He was a small man, living a small, limited, conventional life. Which would be okay, if he wasn't suffocating in the process. He needed to find a bigger pond. It's possible that Ted's panic attacks were not a sign that Richmond was unhealthy or overwhelming for him. It's possible that there, he could breathe for the first time in years, he had the time and space to feel his feelings, pay attention to his past pain, move up and out and onward. Are we supposed to believe after that 3 years away and maybe 1 of therapy that that's it? He's done now, all healed, squared away? What exactly has changed in Kansas to assure us that he will be any happier there than he was prior? Henry was there then too. Little has changed with Michelle. His mum delivered some food and guilt then left. The show hasn't spent enough time in Kansas to assure us of Ted's happiness or continued growth. Literally, all we know is Henry is there. And BBQ sauce. (And Michelle's boyfriend has turned into a dick suddenly, conveniently).

What we do know well is what Ted is leaving behind. A rich and challenging world, wacky and wonderful experiences with a diverse community, a loved and actively loving chosen family. So are we supposed to read this ending like "The Wizard of Oz" which has the most disingenuous final line in movie history? Yes, Oz has some dangerous territories and menacing figures (represented by Rupert etc). But Oz is also where Dorothy's friends, her found family are. Oz is in bright technicolour. It's surprising and bizarre and bright. It's larger than life and full of weird characters and unexpected episodes. Oz is where we all want to be, to live, to stay. Richmond is Ted's real life Oz. It's where we want to be and want him to stay, even if only in our imaginations. In the finale he says: "There's no place like home but there's no place like Richmond either" (or something similar, only watched it once). This implies that Richmond is not his home, that homes are just where you come from. Homes are not found or created or collaborated on together. They aren't malleable, moveable. They aren't out there in the wild, potential beyond. They are behind us always, defining us by our often sad pasts.

Again, this idea is entirely contrary to the premise of the show and the progress of its characters who banded together under Ted's leadership to create a home, a family, a community. Unlike Ted's small, conventional family unit, his found family is queer-coded (as all found families are, since they suggest an alternative to traditional nuclear family units based on shared biology but not necessarily values). Logical families are the family you find after you have been ejected from the traditional biological family unit. They are sought and created, based on common interests and mutual support. They are made up of people who are likewise separated from their homes, due to distance, circumstance, fracture, whatever. The home world is displaced, but it is still home (and all the more precious for it). In this case, the queer-coded found family of TL includes and celebrates LGBT+ folk (took a while for them to get there but eventually they did), women, people of colour and any man choosing to do masculinity his way. This is the environment the show set up. This the environment the creators invited us into. This is the environment Ted left behind.

Now, I do think there could have been a way for Ted to return to Kansas and Henry (but not Michelle) that would have been consistent with and faithful to this initial set-up and its themes. But that isn't what we got. Like Dorothy waking up to a dingy black and white world where there's nothing to do but talk to your dog about all the adventures you long to have over the rainbow, Ted's Kansas looks grey and dull and muddy. And Ted looks like he only half-remembers the most vivid and important things he's ever seen and done. "Be a goldfish" is a useful idiom for dropping baggage that weighs you down. If you burn your tongue on your coffee but don't wanna be irritated all day, then it works. It doesn't work for a scenario in which you need to deal with the reality that you and your co-parent/ex have carved out very different life paths. Simple, wilful ignorance is not a solution to the sort of complex family circumstances that grown adults face every day. Just forgetting the past 3 years and moving on like nothing ever happened does not in any way guarantee Ted's happiness or his success as a father. Attempting to find fulfillment through that one! special! person!! is unlikely to end well. Whether it's a parent, partner or child, the burden on them is unfair.

Ted's predicament is a huge one but it's also one that has been there from the very beginning. They had 3 years and 30+ episodes to resolve it satisfactorily, using all of the freedoms that fictional realities can afford. And yet, when Rebecca brings up the various ways in which she is willing to adjust to Ted's fatherhood, these suggestions are made to sound ridiculous, impossible and totally futile. But are they? Are they anymore outlandish than any of the other highly optimistic plot points they've gleefully included? Ted flourishes personally and professionally in this milieu. And had they made a move earlier in the series, Henry could also have integrated into it and benefited greatly from it. (He clearly enjoys the club when he's there). As Rebecca implies, Ted has the opportunity to offer Henry a richer, wider and more diverse view of the world than he would otherwise have. He would have access to a queer-coded community that includes and celebrates, experiments and strives. He would see his dad loved, celebrated and supported. This show takes some BIG optimistic swings. If audiences were able to make the emotional leap of accepting Ted leaving his son in ep 1, then they can probably be trusted to make the leap of him staying, esp. if the writers took the time each season to establish how they will manage their relationship and the benefits each will glean from such an arrangement.

After all, Ted is not one to back down from a challenge. Taking the job at Richmond was a bold and brave move. This is the same man who pledged to "win the whole fucking thing". This is the same man who looked Rupert Manion in the eye then promptly whipped him at darts. But when it comes to distance co-parenting, he's not even open to suggestions? No "I appreciate you" for the boss/bestie, just oh-so-sage resignation? Please. These writers set up this predicament then refused to resolve it in a satisfactory way. Instead, they reduced Richmond FC to a dream and Ted to a memory-challenged goldfish who flails about when faced with the reality of a pre-existing predicament of his own creation. He rejects the help of others who could actually provide real-world solutions. Nor does he seem to register the possibility of a mature relationship with a woman who wants him and connects with him. Instead, he chooses to forget, keep swimming, paddle backwards -- not onward, not forward. He has a big pool, a new home, a found family that represents human complexity and plurality. But he chooses the small, simple and singular. A traditional three-part family unit that was supposed to make him happy but never did. He had his little holiday jaunt in technicolour land, a fun lil detour into an expansive rainbow family community. He came in, tinkered about with some people's problems: gave a middle-aged woman confidence here, supported a sad gay there. But rainbow families are not just a temporary playground for white cishet dudes with a saviour complex to get their own admirable values reflected back to them. In the end, Ted's found family had something absolutely vital to teach him that he did not stick around long enough to learn.

[scarletttries]

Night at the Museum (Steven Grant One Shot)

Pairing: Steven Grant x GN!Reader

Rating: Pure fluff, gender neutral pronouns throughout :)

Word Count: 1.7k

Author's Note: My Christmas gift to all the Steven Grant lovers, I feel like I've been writing a fair amount Steven smut lately so here a sweet sugarplum fluff for him :) Enjoy, and my requests are always open for sweetie Steven 💕

Night at the Museum (part of my Christmas list)

Glittering decorations, festive cocktails, a beautiful string quartet. Even though you'd insisted that this did not fall under you job description when Donna practically forced you to plan the staff Christmas party this year, you couldn't help but feel a little proud of how well you had pulled the little soirée together. Now there was just one final step to your plan, the reason you had accepted the task in the first place - talk to Steven.

The gift shop employee had caught your eye from the first conversation; his bright passion, his brilliant mind, his obvious sweetness inside and out. After a couple of months curating a new exhibit for the museum, you had come to the conclusion that as beautiful and kind as the man was, he was clueless when it came to picking up the signals you were clearly sending out, and if you wanted to be more than a colleague, and then more than a friend, you were going to have to take matters into your own hands.

---

"I know I usually hate Christmas but I can't miss the party!" Steven muttered under his breath, trying not to think too much about the fact that he was confiding in a stuffed hippo from his little counter, because he couldn't talk to his goldfish until he got home. "You know exactly why I want to go - for (Y/n)." He sighed, resting his head on his hand and his elbow against the counter with a smile as he watched you walk through the grand foyer, seemingly unaware of his longing stare as he racked his brain for any excuse to go talk to you. As if you felt his eyes on you as you moved, you glanced over to him, giving him a smile and wave as you continued your march to Donna's office, needing her sign off on yet another tedious matter for the party. As he tried to return your wave he forgot he was using his arm for support, lifting it to wave and letting his face fall right onto the counter with a thud. Steven almost didn't want to raise it again in his embarrassment, sure you must think he was an absolute idiot for the way he always managed to make a fool of himself around you, but as he glanced up he was glad he did, the blushing giggle he could see on your cheeks worth the slight knock to his. As soon as you disappeared around a corner, he went back to his goddess-themed plush toy and their conversation, "So now you see why I've got to go to this party! But I keep looking like a numpty every time they come near me, so I've got to make a plan. What do you think I should say?" He paused as if the toy was going to give him an answer, disappointed when his thoughts were the only thing he heard,

"Well I can't just say I love you to a colleague I've never even asked on a date! I'll look insane! No, I need to play it cool."

---

Steven felt decidedly less than cool as he walked into the almost empty museum that night, closed to the public for the staff party, giving him less people than usual to hide behind when it came to the sea of judgemental eyes. He pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind, tugging on his slightly ill-fitting suit and focusing instead on his objective for the evening - talk to you.

You could feel your heart jump a little bit as you heard your name called out over the festive melody filling the air. Steven always said your name like it was filled with excitement and wonder, not like someone he went to work with day after day.

"The museum looks amazing tonight, you did a great job party planning!" He said happily, leaning forward as if he was going to greet you with a hug before doubting himself and settling for a small wave instead.

"Thanks Steven, I'm really glad you came." You replied sincerely, relief that he had actually come tonight boosting your confidence more than a little.

"I never miss a party, me." He lied, frowning as the words came out of his mouth, searching for a new topic before you could follow up on his fib, "I heard your exhibit getting expanded, congratulations! Ancient gemstones right?" he questioned, ignoring the voice in his head suggesting he offer you a diamond then and there.

"Thanks, I can't wait for the new artifacts to arrive, there's jewellery in there dating back to some of the first human civilians." He nodded happily along as you described your plans for the exhibition, thrilled to see you speak with such devotion, proud just to know someone like you, "I always think there's something beautiful about the fact that as long as humans have existed, they've wanted to sparkle." Steven grinned the sentiment, almost captivated by the joy with you approached your work and your life, the happiness that seemed to fill him whenever he got to spend time in your presence.

"Well you certainly do." He offered sweetly, eyes widening in panic as if he hadn't quite realised a compliment was leaving his lips before it was too late. Not wanting to risk sticking around to watch you shoot him down he quickly excused himself, desperately hurrying to a quiet corner to pull himself together. You watched in confusion as he stepped out for some air, mumbling to himself and wringing his hands together as he went, his chest rising and falling intensely as he brought his heart rate back to a safe level, unsure whether to be proud of himself for finally (almost) flirting with you, or kick himself for running away before he could see the fall-out.

You let the party continue to pass, keeping an eye on Steven as he finally plodded back in, reluctantly listening to a rant from Donna and correcting a few people on his name, looking a little bit downtrodden by the end of it,

"Steven. Pst." You beckoned from behind him, leaning against the corner of a long stretch of corridor undisturbed by party goers. He pointed up at himself as if there was anyone else you could be talking to, only taking a few uncertain steps forward when you nodded and used one finger to gesture him towards you. "I wanted to show another Christmas decoration I put up for the party." You explained, the curve of your smile making Steven's heart beat harder against his ribs, grateful and terrified to actually have a moment alone with you. You took a few slow steps backwards as you beckoned Steven towards you, finally coming to a stop and pointing up at the ceiling, hand struggling to hold still with the anticipation.

"Oh." Was all Steven could breath out as he saw the little green branch with its white berries hanging over him - Mistletoe. The first thing you'd dug out when you agreed to plan the party, hiding it far away enough from the foyer that you wouldn't be disturbed. Steven didn't dare move a muscle as you stood toe-to-toe, sure he must have misunderstood, certain you couldn't be thinking what he was thinking.

"You know the tradition for the two people under mistletoe right?" You prompted, the crimson colour spreading across his cheeks as he began to lift his trembling hands enough to make you sure this was something you both wanted.

"To - to kiss." Steven stuttered out, short of breath as you nodded, leaning slightly forward until the tip of your nose brushed softly over his as you did.

"Do you want to kiss me Steven?" You almost whispered, faces barely an inch apart, feeling the heat radiating from him as he nodded, bringing his twitching hands to cup your cheeks as his lips finally closed in on yours. It was soft. Tentative. Like part of Steven still didn't think this could be what you wanted. You brought your hands to his waist, slowly snaking around to pull him closer, encouraging him to apply a little more pressure the kiss. You leant into it, opening your mouth slightly and tilting your head to feel more of his soft, plump lips, slightly wet as his tongue seemed to hover just shy of yours. He let one hand brush over your cheek and fall to your neck, holding the nape of it as if terrified you might disappear if he couldn't feel you, and taste you anymore. You let your tongue lightly brush his, feeling him eagerly respond to your movements by deepening the kiss again, lips moving against yours like he'd never need to take a breath again, surviving solely on the feel of your mouth against his, the perfect fluttering building in his chest.

Finally you pulled away, leaning back just far enough to notice Steven's frantic breathing, the awestruck look in his eye as his gaze danced around your face looking for any sign of rejection before staring back at your lips, the only thing he could picture himself thinking about for a very long time. And then you smiled, and he was sure his heart was going to explode then and there, the affection as you rubbed his lower back and held him close the sweetest thing Steven could ever remember feeling.

"Happy Holidays Steven." Otherwise at a loss for words at what to say to this man looking at you like maybe there should be a museum dedicated to you alone, like you had single handedly hung every star in the sky along with the festive decoration above you.

"You wouldn't be free on New Year's Eve would you?" He asked, attempt at joking betrayed by his utterly pleading tone and the pure elation in his eyes when you nodded. Maybe Steven didn't hate Christmas anymore.

[queenofthursday6599-blog]

So for those who've probably noticed that I'm going through the old FOP episodes.

Here's something else that I've noticed.

Vicky will be painted as a monster even when she's doing something that's in the right.

Like during Dog's Day Afternoon, Vicky is painted as the villain because she does the responsible pet owner thing of getting her pets de-sexed.

Even though the whole inciting incident of the episode is that Timmy wants to switch brains with Vicky's dog because Vicky treats her pets better than she treats him, or people in general really.

The only pet she really seems to treat poorly is Goldie her Goldfish, because she lost interest in him.

Also the show has the stereotype of animal becomes depressed after getting de-sexed. For this episode.

With all of Vicky's pets that have been de-sexed appearing either outright depressed or just anxious in the case of Chipper the Cat.

Even though research shows that animals aren't really emotionally attached to their reproductive organs the way humans are.

Like they're more likely to be traumatized by the process if you've got a shitty vet, or poor post operative care, than they are by the actual state of being de-sexed.

Not to mention we see Doidle (Vicky's dog) later on in the series, and he's not depressed at all. He's pissed at Timmy and hates his guts, but he's just as active as he was in his debut episode. He goes through a period of "depression" but in reality he's probably just healing from surgery, because he bounces back from that later on.

Chipper's attitude is more in line with a declawed cat than a de-sexed one, Goldie's de-sexing is just nonsensical and is just to make it seem like Vicky does this for fun.

While Ginny's de-sexing is similar, as I've never even heard of someone de-sexing a parrot outside of it being medically necessary. Like due to cancer, or some similar medical problem. Which those kinds of issues are actually quite common in birds. Hell most vets won't even do this kind of procedure on a bird without a medical need for it.

Same for rodents. The vast majority of people who keep pet rodents, don't get said rodents de-sexed, unless there's a medical problem, or they've decided to house the pet in a set up with a member of the opposite sex.

Not to mention, all of this would take money. Money out of the notoriously greedy and money hungry Vicky's pocket, unless she's somehow getting her parents to pay for her numerous animals care and vet bills.

Like why is this show roasting Vicky for being a shockingly responsible pet owner considering who she is as a person?

Not to mention going through the time and money it takes to get an animal de-sexed, especially animals that don't commonly get de-sexed, like a Hamster, Goldfish, and Parrot? Where in you'd have to pay extra, and seek out a vet willing to do so in the first place, meaning you're almost certainly looking for a specialist?

How is it that after going through all the time, and effort, and money, it would take to get all her animals de-sexed, is Vicky then suddenly ignoring her pets.

Like you have to pick one.

Either Vicky is the type of pet owner to go completely overboard and prefer her pets over people.

Or Vicky is an irresponsible pet owner who buys animals to entertain herself but doesn't take care of them properly once she gets board of them.

You can't have it both ways.

[jotunvali02]

Playing Ace Attorney, Rise from the Ashes part 3

Hallelujah my brothers & sisters! Feenie is having some empathy again!🥳

"Hey, Gant-jerk! You NEVER hurt my sweet boyfriend again, bitch!"

DON'T remind me of Von Karma, a giant monstrous asshole who hurt my baby Edgey just like you!

My baby did NOTHING wrong, asshole! He's the purest, most righteous and most beautiful angel I know!! 😭👼🏻

"Knock yourself out", huh?

"I'll always believe in Mr Edgeworth! No matter what happens!" Daddy...😭

"Why is the award broken?" Idk, maybe Edgey smashed it?? After seeing VON KARMA name on it????

Daddy is an artist like Fee-Fee.

Noooo… the vase gluing, is that a joke??😩

Wait. Why can't I go see Edgey after talking to Gumshoe like in all the other let's play videos?? What did I miss??? Why am I STUCK??? I'm going fucking crazy!! Why can't I go see my baby????

Gumshoe FUCKS the police too! 🖕🖕

Ugh!! I just had to EXAMINE the blood prints!! God, thank the Lord!

"Who needs enemies when you have friends like Gumshoe?" OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHH!!

Fuck you, Phoenix. He's a waaay better friend than you. 😊

The fuck is HE doing here?? Does Edgey require all the hottest men in town to work for him?🌈

Can't I kiss him to make him less sad??😢

Edgey loves his Daddy so much! 😭

I can't read numbers anymore. Gant, you motherfucking, manipulative son of a sick bitch!!🤬

"You are the man who revived the worst memory of my life."😭💔💔

Nooo… just HOW many fuckers bullied my baby Edgey all this time?? 😭💔💔💔💔

"All along, I've done only what I believe is right. I have nothing to be ashamed of! And yet…" = (do I?) 😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔

Edgey don't give a shit anymore.

"Edgeworth… I'm really--" Really WHAT?? ?? Grateful? Sorry? Worried? In love??

"Why don't you give that to Gumshoe?" Fee-Fee's brains are baaaaack!! Woohoooo!!

Why can't we hug Edgey goodbye before going back to the investigation???😭

"Capital punishment"?? For ONE murder???

Ema, only 16 and complete stranger, figured out Edgey waaaay better than anyone else his trustful Gumshoe or the "only person who really knows him".

"Looks on top of the things while he actually doesn't know what's going on", a way better actor than Feenie himself then.

"And that's supposed to be an admirable trait?" Fuck you, Phoenix! Did you actually quitted arts because you despised everyone in there, like the bitter misanthropic bitch you are??

You'll need this unadmirable trait later, bitch!

"You're not the kind of guy s/o would want to "run into"."

OMG, FUCK YOU Phoenix! You and your high bisexual standards! You're really in good shape today, huh??

Wow, these "security cameras" are so shitty.

Ooooh! Fee-Fee is roasting himself too! He's a competitive bitch!

STOP BULLYING MY SWEET & ALREADY SELF-HATING & HEAVILY TRAUMATIZED BAYBY!!

YOU ALL GOLDFISH-BRAINED FUCKERS!!

[frownyalfred]

hi! i am also a fellow writer and i wanted to ask for some advice. i hope i’m not making you uncomfortable, feel free to ignore this ask!

i’ve been going through a bit of a rough patch. school has been hectic and i haven’t been able to read and write as much since i’m so burnt out from acads and it makes me feel a bit bad because i feel like i’m getting… dumber? like i find myself forgetting words more often and having a harder time expressing myself when i’m normally pretty eloquent.

i’m a bit afraid i’m losing my touch since my sense of pride and confidence has always relied pretty heavily in ability with words. have you experienced something like this? if so, do you have any advice?

thank you! and also, you are a wonderful writer and i hope life is treating you well.

Hi anon <3 I'm sorry things have been rough. I totally understand where you're coming from about this. I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder after getting COVID a little while back, and I've genuinely felt some days that I am dumber, like you said.

The reality is, stress, illness, even being hungover can all influence how we gauge and use our own mental capacity. I like to think of what you described as more as a really severe form of writer's block -- the words are there in your head, but they're blocked by something. What's coming out is just not what you intended.

But that doesn't mean that the words are gone! It means you're going through something right now, and your brain is one of the first places that reflects that.

I think it's very easy to fall into a self-sustaining cycle where you believe you're worse, you get worse, and then you feel like you'll never get better. The reality is, we have ups and downs. Some days are good, some are terrible. Sometimes the words flow, and then they're gone the next day.

Be kind to yourself, anon. Take a look at your work and ask yourself if you genuinely believe it's worse -- or do you just feel worse about it? Are you comparing yourself to others, or to your past self? Because your past self wasn't dealing with all of this! Of course they would create something that looks or feels different.

If nothing else, know that I'm right there with you. Some days my brain feels goldfish-like and I can't write. Some days I'm so exhausted I want to cry. But it's okay to take a break and come back later. Eventually -- when the mind and body feel safe and rested -- the words will come again. I promise.

[girlfox]

What people make you happy when you see them on the dash?

❛ 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓 , : a series of questions for the mun / the person behind the muse(s) .

OOOOH BOY. okay, is this my chance to love on some of my favorite oomfies? because i am so going to send love their way. keep in mind that everyone i follow brings me a measure of joy; if they didn't, we wouldn't be mutuals! but i'll gush about a couple people i know ooc, as well. just because i wanna spread some love.

@nihilara ( & their other blogs ) brings me legitimately so much joy, i get so excited whenever i see them on my dash. their drawings and rambles and fun interactions with others . . they're amazing. i can't speak enough good things about rhys.

@otlaw is one of my closest friends on here, too, and they're such a pillar of love and support and fun and, i just get like a puppy dog with my tail wagging when they're being active or when they follow me on their 100th new blog HAHAHA. love u leif.

@krosakis YOU DUH? dan you've been one of my favorite oomfies for an ice age at this point. i don't even know what my dash looks like without you on it . . . and i don't wanna know. having you around just feels right, like my dash is complete.

@diveyne because sabrina has been a very long time friend at this point, and has always been supportive and hyped me up like the beautiful goth princess they are. MWWWAH. their writing is also captivating and i just love it whenever it pops up on my feed.

@youthblooms and ALL of their blogs. whenever they pop up, i'm like a goldfish doing a lil happy jump out of my fish bowl bc i just know i'm about to be FED. everything they write is amazing, and i also just love their characters and them as a person in general. nams is the BEST.

@furiaei is a recent friend, but we connected pretty deeply right away and honestly i just adore their enthusiasm and drive for their character. they're also an incredibly kind person, and i'm so glad i met them.

@dvouer because while we're still getting to know each other ooc, they've been relentlessly kind and warm to me, and before we ever even spoke out of character, i've love love loved their original character venus; both them and kiwi are just absolute dolls.

@oriphical is a long time friend at this point too, i just adore bun & its infinite patience with my slow ass replies to dms. pleading emoji @ it right now. but its xiv oc and honestly every other character it writes is always beautifully done, filled with passion, and just so interesting and complex and well thought out. it's also just a very very very kind and fun individual.

@sivrit niran is THE BOMBBBBB. i love every single character he churns out, whether it's the immense love put into the lore and development of their originals, or the total passion put into writing a canon character. he's also just so kind and warm and fun to talk to, and seeing him on my dash makes me so happy.

@eatdivines EDITING THIS BECAUSE HOW DID I NOT ADD IN VAL? my brain is scrambled eggs. but seriously. i love valentine so fucking much it's not even funny; they're adorable, they're kind, they're compassionate, they're sweet and thoughtful. they also have wait more of a back bone than i ever will, and they're someone who will always have your back no matter what. for these reasons alone i love seeing val on my dash. but also? i am enthralled with their writing on ahri and in the past, kagome. their takes are so unique and interesting and god i'm living for it.

[hestzhyen]

Chapter 44 Museposting

Hello internet void. What a great conclusion to a fantastic arc! I'm locked in and ready to spend the rest of my life with this manga now. ...Maybe. No matter how the manga proceeds from here, I'll hold the Rakuzaichi arc close to my heart for it's nuanced examination of family and duty. And for introducing my favorite character in ages.

Hakuri the precious unhinged bean is STAYING! Another rescued abuse victim for the goldfish bowl, hooray! I hope he isn't shelved after this arc but my goodness he definitely deserves a break. The whole cast does, yeah, but this boy still has a lot to process.

I love how Hakuri's character arc is resolved here - he's finally free to choose his own path after everything he's been through. Ice Lady broke him out of the Sazanami mindset, Chihiro proved there was hope for him, and Shiba gave him an opening to leave his cage behind. Now he can truly find out what's waiting for him beyond the misery and despair he lived with for so long. Oh Hakuri, you deserve all the happiness you find.

And once again, Chihiro's empathy is on full (if somewhat subdued) display. The scene of him wanting to encourage Hakuri as he says he's lost now that his dad is dead squeezed my heart into pieces. Yeah, Kyoura was shitty. But losing an abusive parent isn't a ticket to sudden happiness and purpose most of the time. They were still your guiding star, as Hakuri himself says- for better and worse. Especially if they only became overtly abusive later in your life. The grief that comes with their passing is hella complicated and often leaves you feeling worse off even if your life will be objectively better from now on.

Hakuri was in survival mode for so long thanks to Kyoura that he doesn't know what to do now. He and his remaining family are better off without each other too. Chihiro probably doesn't grasp the complexities of this kind of grief but he does know what it's like to lose everything and be set adrift in the world far too young. So he gently reminds Hakuri of the potential waiting for him outside of the cage...

... and Hakuri responds so sweetly:

Aaaah my heart. You shouldn't talk about yourself like you're property, Hakuri!

This gives me some hope that we're not quite done with him yet. Hakuri's free now but he (understandably) has a low opinion of himself. He still feels the weight of failing the Ice Lady and Chihiro trading Enten for his life and wants to do more. Be more. Feel worthy of what they've done for him. And who better to help him make the most of his new lease on life than the guy he sees as hope incarnate? The grief might overwhelm him at times, and the effects of the abuse he endured won't fade for quite some time. But he'll be alright as long as he's with his samurai.

This is Chihiro's story above all else so I don't think we'll get another deep dive into Hakuri unless it's to further our protagonist's character. But I'm waiting to see what he's set up to do going in to (what appears to be) the Kamunabi arc with baited breath. I hope he really does get to be Chihiro's equal instead of learning the art of Offscreen Sorcery from Shiba. And even though it'll probably be Hiyuki's turn to shine next, I hope she doesn't overtake him in terms of importance to Chihiro's story and the narrative as a whole.

I'll save the doomposting for another time (if it's even warranted). I've got a ton to say about Hakuri now that the arc is over, but that'll probably be a separate post made while we all succumb to brain rot during the break. But yeah. Hakuri. I love him so much. I just hope I'm not pining for scraps of him after all the work the author put in to making him so endearing.

No dwelling on what-ifs! Onward! What about that random shot of a drum?

I think it's interesting that we get a small panel of taiko/wadaiko. They have nothing to do with any major themes in the arc itself, other than the sticks used to hit them being called bachi (Hokazono probably patted himself on the back for that one). I think it's used to lend a sense of finality to the end of the proceedings for the Sazanami clan. These drums have a variety of uses through their long history in Japanese culture, but the one most relevant here I think is in theater and performance arts. Small taiko drums are used to help accentuate performances by setting the mood. Here in Kagurabachi, I think it's specifically linked to Kyoura's line at the end of Ch. 39:

Yeah, the origin of the meme. The EN translation is apparently pretty conservative while the original JP line had more of a showman flair to it. "The show must go on" or along those lines. I'm not a pro at Japanese by any stretch, but it would tie in nicely to the continued use of performance-related terms in this week's chapter. The cruel spectacle is over for good. The curtains are drawn and it's time for all the living participants to go home.

2/2 on destroyed buildings marking the end of an arc. Let's keep it up!

But what is next, indeed? How many people expected Chihiro to try joining the Kamunabi, anyway?! Definitely wasn't on my short list of things that could happen, but I'm really warming up to the idea because of what it says for him as a character.

Normally, a shounen protagonist is someone who is reacting to the plot as it happens. Even if they're out to change the status quo, something has to occur to give them an opportunity to act (yes, even after they've answered the Call to Adventure). Bad guy acts first, something happens to a loved one, natural disaster strikes, etc. The universe gives them an opening and the protagonist strikes. But here, Chihiro creates his own opportunity.

Hiyuki and Tafuku could have just taken the blade away from him in his weakened state and left him at square one trying to find leads. Most authors would take this development path I think! But this is Kagura-fucking-bachi so we get to see another fascinating side to Chihiro instead.

Chihiro recognizes that he doesn't know as much as he thought about his dad's legacy. And that he can't continue his crusade without some serious power on par with the Hishaku clan. So instead of doing the typical shounen protagonist thing and resolving to push through adversity with friendship and sheer force of will, he adjusts his tactics. His resolve is intact but his strategy is changing.

This was indirectly foreshadowed courtesy of Shiba in ch. 12 and reinforced by John Hishaku in Ch. 32:

Don't you love it when characters consistently actually act how we're told they do? Chihiro's always thinking and learning; he's not waiting for fate to give him a chance. No matter how strongly he feels about recovering the swords, he's able to accurately assess his own situation and make the most rational decision (hot-headed moves fueled by deep empathy for others being an exception). I love a protagonist that recognizes when they're out of their depth and adjusts accordingly, man. No practicing slamming his head against a brick wall until it breaks for this guy- he'll find some scaffolding to climb over it instead. Or ask a badass woman to punch a hole through it for him.

I also think it's quite significant that Chihiro's directly asking others for help now. In the beginning he seemed uneasy about letting others share the burden of his father's legacy, but now he's trusting Hiyuki and the Kamunabi to help him manage it. Obviously he's asking to join because he won't let them take full control and responsibility, but he's still facing reality head-on. How will that play out for him? Opening up to Hakuri and trusting in him paid off massively, so maybe it'll work out again?

The last time he worked with the Kamunabi, most of the squad was wiped out by Sojo though. I would not be surprised to see a grudge match of some kind between Chihiro and Kazane despite both of them being on the same side in the same org this time... but we've gotten a few glimpses of all kinds of potential inter-group conflict since very early on. It's not surprising that the Hishaku may want to exacerbate those fractures by letting the Kamunabi get a hold of Magatsumi:

Ch. 7

Ch. 11

Ch. 18

Ch. 22

Ch. 24

So as of Ch. 44, it's clear that internal politics will play a major role...

Chihiro I love you for being able to put the pieces together yourself instead of relying on someone else like other protagonists often have to do.

I expect that working within the Kamunabi will help Chihiro form a firm opinion on whether or not they can be trusted to help him in the long-term. It'll probably also be Hiyuki's development arc as she reconciles her ideals, what she sees in Chihiro, and what she's witnessed at the Rakuzaichi with how the group operates.

I don't want to speculate too much on exactly how it'll all play out but I'm so freakin' hyped man. This is also a great chance to learn more about Kunishge, Azami, Shiba, and the Seitei War...! Oh man! LORE! WORLDBUILDING! I live and breathe for this kinda stuff when it's done well. The war criminals' different takes on the Kamunabi have had me interested in the org for a while now so I wonder what Chihiro will think of them by the end of the arc. Will he be able to work with them for the rest of the series? Will they splinter due to their internal conflicts and the Hishaku's machinations? Will Hiyuki stay with them or go her own way? I want to know! Hmm... on the topic of working with the Kamunabi... I know I said earlier that Chihiro's been opening up since he met Hakuri and is willing to work with the Kamunabi full-time now, but I don't believe he's at the point where he's willing to fully entrust the dangerous, painful parts of his dad's legacy to other people yet. Chihiro's still feeling personally responsible for the deaths the sword WMDs are causing while putting all the pressure to succeed on his own head. He's letting other people help him out but it's his duty alone to minimize the damage. I won't be surprised if this is touched on either in the Kamunabi arc or a later one. Keeping Shiba's "you'll break" line in mind once more, I think Chihiro learning to share his pain and burden could be a major turning point for him.

I don't want to say it must or will happen -I'm not the writer. I just think it's a very potent thread that's had some buildup since the start. Who can Chihiro trust to help him with more than logistics and fighting? Does he even need someone like that or is he going to become strong enough though learning from his enemies? I'm really interested in seeing if the little family he's building will be able to do more than cheer him on from offscreen at the very least... I've got some worries about the story structure going forward but I want to wait and see what happens in the next arc before letting my hopes be crushed.

Seriously, I'm not going to doompost yet. Really. I'm just going to fucking die waiting an extra week to see what happens next.

[blunt-force-therapy]

I just made a Grepolis account, and they immediately tricked me into subscribing to a newsletter.

Thanks Obamna!

Anyway, I don't appreciate immediately being called mortal, but I'm boutta get all the points, no one can stop me.

ANOTHER ONE FOR THE GREPOPARTY :D

Honestly assuming your mortality status like that is kind of a dick move :/ they should have asked first at least

Did you enter a world yet? Me and @f4y3w00d5 are in a casual one where you basically can't 100% lose (the game's loss condition is having 0 cities in a given world, on this one you'll always have at least 1 and you can choose which)

Btw you can be on multiple worlds but if you're goldfish brained like me that can get troublesome. I've had to make some pretty elaborate battle plans for that before :p

[thousand-winters]

The Dadrius fandom is also sleeping on the affectionate name GREMLIN like I don't care if it's interpreted in the same vein as "little shit(affectionate)" (but for witches) or if it's a legit term of endearment like "kiddo" EITHER WAY GUYS PLEASE GREMLIN FITS THEIR DYNAMIC SO WELL AND IT'S SO EFFING CUTE I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL (I saw it once in a fanfic and I completely forget which one but it's been stuck in the forefront of my one hyper fixating brain cell ever since)

Oh, I've seen it before!!! Mostly as the first one, but it would be kinda cute if it were an endearment for kids, and not gonna lie, I could see that being a thing on the Boiling Isles on behalf of being... well, the Boiling Isles.

I unfortunately also have forgotten in which fics I have seen it because I have the memory of a goldfish, but honestly? I kinda want to incorporate it as well now because the way it sounds, it's a very properly affectionate nickname while still sounding teasing, which feels ideal for their dynamic.

Don't get me, I'm a sucker for Darius just going "sweetheart" and "love" and all those sugary terms of endearment, but I do think he tends to go for those when: 1) He's trying to comfort Hunter or calm him down from a panic attack 2) He's feeling particularly soft at the moment, and 3) It just slipped out because his mind was occupied with something else or he was distracted and what not.

It's not what he wouldn't be sweet to Hunter because he probably gathers Hunter does need that softness, and I always think he would be softer on Hunter than on anyone else, but Darius seems to be the kind of person who pretty much expresses his affection by teasing others and being a bit of a little shit about it, just like he accuses others of being.

I think Hunter would enjoy being called "gremlin" too because it puts him in the same category as Eberwolf (which is to say, family-category), and because once he realizes that Darius genuinely loves him, he would be so smug about it. Very "oh, yeah, I'm a gremlin, but you love me anyway, don't you?"

[madamescarlette]

I have the object permanence of a goldfish, because the second you changed your icon my brain went !!!! where is Eden!!!! Where did my beloved go to!!!!

All this to say the new icon IS quite lovely, I am just mentally as a toddler who saw her dad shave off his beard for the first time

LILAC this was legiterally the cutest message I was kicking my feet and grinning over this for the longest while. I'm still stupid attached to my old icon so never you fear it'll be back I just needed a new haircut kind of newness around here you know!! But I'm always here for when you're looking for me don't you worry 💛💛💛

[undreaming-fanfiction]

Banished (2)

You asked, I delivered. Ish. There will be three parts to this, but I wanted to split them because I have an attention span of a goldfish. The previous part can be found HERE.

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3

Eddie Munson's mind is racing. That isn't unusual for him, his brain is basically a race track, but instead of overflowing with ideas for campaigns or songs, he's basically having a breakdown if he ever had one. What a joke, he thinks to himself, you get accused of several murders, get torn to shreds by bats from another dimension, die and come back, but that's just okay while a dinner with Karen Wheeler sends you spiraling? You moron.

The dinner is only tomorrow, he still has plenty of time, but he can't sleep, can't rest, can't do anything and before he knows it, he's knocking on Steve's door. He curses himself for not checking the time when an obviously sleepy (and shirtless. Why is he always shirtless?!) Steve opens the door, only an inch, and peers outside. "Eddie? What's wrong?" He swings the door fully open and Eddie can hear the clang of his signature spiked bat as Steve lets it fall on the ground. That's going to damage the floor, Eddie thinks. And then he remembers that the Harringtons haven't even checked if their son is alive after the earthquake and his mind adds, good. Maybe I should drop it again. From the staircase. Twice.

Eddie's eyes dart to the side, anywhere but Steve's bare chest. One crisis at a time, thank you. "Harrington. I mean...shit. Hi Steve. Can I...can I come in?" Noticing Steve's stunned silence, he quickly adds: "I swear this isn't one of the world ending things. It's mundane, really. But I didn't know where else to go, so..." he points vaguely at himself, "here I am, I guess. I'm also sorry for waking you up, shit, should have said that first. Really sorry."

Steve gives a humorless laugh and steps to the side, letting Eddie in. "Yeah, nothing to be sorry for. Being tired and actually sleeping seem to be two completely different things." Eddie kicks off his shoes and Steve points him to the kitchen. "You want something to drink?"

Eddie wonders if maybe a shot, two or half a bottle of vodka would do the trick. If it would get him to calm down. Probably not. "Um..." he croaks out, "no. No thanks, I...drank. Before I came here. Like, not alcohol. Coke. Not...that kind of coke. Jesus H Christ," he rubs his forehead and closes his eyes. It's becoming more and more obvious that tomorrow is going to be a disaster.

Steve just leans against the kitchen door frame and blinks, confused. "...you okay Eddie?"

"Yes. Possibly. Depends." He takes a deep breath and finally looks at Steve properly. The chest hair isn't helping his mental stability and this time, he doesn't have a good excuse to throw any clothing at him. "I...look. The whole banished thing is getting kind of old and it seems Wheeler's mom seems to agree and...she invited me over, which I know you know, I don't know why I'm telling you since you were the one who made that miracle happen, but I...I have a slight problem."

The pretty face in front of him scrunched into a confused frown. "Don't you...want to go?"

Eddie throws up his hands and it takes him some serious self-discipline not to rub his fingers between Steve's eyebrows to make that frown disappear. "Oh no, nonono. I mean yes. I want to go. So much. But um...I...shit, this is going to sound absolutely ridiculous and I can't believe I'm saying this, but I don't want to fuck this up, okay? I can't afford to fuck this up." There, he said it. Eddie never wanted to be emotionally invested in anything or anyone that could hurt him, always placing his personal integrity - hobbies, aesthetics, beliefs - over impressing other people, but here he is, admitting to Steve Harrington of all people that he found something worth changing his approach. "So for the first time in my life, I want to...make a good impression. But," he sighs, tugs a strand of his hair in front of his mouth, "with the whole end of the world thing, all of my clothes are gone. Like, melted. Burned. I didn't have much of a presentable wardrobe even before, but now..."

Steve sucks in a breath. "Oh."

Eddie nods and drops his eyes to the floor again. This is starting to feel like a really bad idea. "Yeah, so I know this is weird as hell and you're well within your rights to tell me to fuck off, but-"

But then Steve is grabbing his wrist, pulling him upstairs. "Come on," he interrupts his rambling and Eddie's chest squeezes impossibly tight around his self-proclaimed cynical heart at the kindness in his voice, "let's see if I can find something that fits you."

...

Eddie ends up spending the night. Not in the way he would have liked, but Steve is off work the next day and he insists on perfecting everything - "it's absolutely not that I'm not into your look, I mean...you know what I mean, but I want you to feel calm, man. Parents can be terrifying, but Karen - Mrs. Wheeler - is a good person. And you need to sleep to entertain those little shits the way they expect, otherwise they'll eat both of us alive." So they go through Steve's wardrobe, find some older pieces (still better than anything Eddie's ever owned) that he used to wear before his shoulders and thighs decided to do the thing that has Eddie secretly salivating.

Steve also brings in his hair salon supplies, as Eddie jokingly calls them, and helps brush Eddie's unruly locks into a simple low ponytail. Eddie doesn't let anyone touch his hair, the gesture is too intimate, but he can't find a good excuse to say no and the experience ends up being...pleasant. And he isn't going to follow that thought because it leads to hell. Not the religious one, fuck that, but hell of unrequited feelings, awkwardness and pity.

The end result has Eddie feeling...mixed. He looks at himself in the mirror, a simple dark polo, still slightly larger, but it might be seen as an intent, tucked into non-torn jeans. His hair is still fluffy, but looks more put together. He looks put together. He stares at his reflection and thinks is this what I would have looked like if I was normal? Would I have a normal job, a diploma, all that shit? His eyes slightly shift to Steve's reflection, looking at him tired but proud, and his brain unhelpfully adds: Would I be Steve's type then? Stupid.

He turns to Steve and gestures at the polo. "Not bad, huh? Who knew I could pull off the King Steve look?"

Steve laughs out loud, throws his head back. "Give yourself more credit, man, you don't look like that much of a douchebag. Suits you, though. If you ever feel like going for something more daring."

"Daring," Eddie rolls that word on his tongue, trying to sound offended but failing. "Daring my ass, Harrington! Don't think for a moment your polos trump the whole my-daughter-or-son-can-never-bring-this-guy-home look."

Steve produces an undignified snort, but holds Eddie's eyes. "Well, maybe you just need to date someone whose parents are never home," the asshole shrugs as Eddie nearly self-combusts.

"Oh." Quickly, say something not creepy. "Good thing I know someone like that then." Fuck. 

They stare at each other for long seconds and Eddie notices Steve is actually blushing, the master of flirting suddenly has the most beautiful pink hue spreading from his face to his - still bare, goddammit Harrington! - chest, but he doesn't look uncomfortable. Eddie wants to pour a gallon of water on the tiny flame of hope that sparked in his chest, but apparently stupid is his new way of life.

And Steve isn't fucking helping. He runs fingers through his hair again, not distracting at all, and smiles sheepishly at Eddie. "Well, you should go for them." Them, not her. Oh.

Eddie, feeling brave and still very, very stupid, smiles and attempts to tug another strand of hair in front of his face, but the ponytails there and he feels incredibly exposed. "I think I will," he tells Steve, tucking his hands into the back pockets of his - Steve's - jeans. "I just need to deal with this whole banished thing and if it goes well, I'll ask them out. Maybe for coffee. Coffee is a good first date idea, no?"

Steve nods. "Yeah. I can't imagine them not liking coffee."

"Good."

There is a comfortable silence between them now. Eddie wonders if he's dreaming, if his brain made up this whole conversation, but he can't imagine a single dream of his where he'd end up wearing Steve's polo shirts. Or maybe...nope, still not going there.

He yawns and waves his hand in front of his mouth. "Sorry," he says and then bursts out laughing when Steve yawns too. "Contagious, isn't it?"

"Yep." Steve looks at his bed, the only clean island in the sea of piles of clothes. "Do you snore, Munson?"

Eddie snorts and wiggles a finger at Steve. "That's for me to know and for you to find out."

Part 3 will be up eventually, I already have it sort of planned. Tagging the folks who mentioned they'd like a continuation, sorry if that's *clears throat for the best Max impression* presumptuous of me.

@subparwritersuperbreblogger, @gay-stranger-things and two others who I can't tag for the life of me, I'll just respond to your comments!