#I've lived with roaches before

[gxlden-angels]

Controversial take but I'm much more comforted by the idea of a deity that makes mistakes and admits it than one that insists they're perfect and punishes anyone who says otherwise by sending them to be tortured

[sephirajo]

oh my god what i saw in the trash here outside just now means i am not to blame for the roaches that was the rankest bag of rotted bug covered food i have ever fucking seen. like to the touch me and i will disintegrate level of mold.

[snootlestheangel]

Hear Me Out

Guys, just, hear me out: YouTubers/Streamers AU for COD. There was a series of posts on @cod-dump 's blog about what games are banned for the boys and I've just been thinking about this but with Ghost, Gaz, Soap, and Alex where one of them is the actual streamer/gamer dude and the others just almost always play with him (maybe Roach if we went on the path that he's not actually mute, just kinda hates talking)

Retired or discharged for whatever reasons, the 141 are actually kinda happy to be living semi-normal lives. Maybe they're not all entirely civilian now, maybe Price has a position that doesn't require him to be on the field but he's still teaching/being a Captain.

But he's constantly telling the boys to find things to do to keep themselves happy. Especially Gaz and Soap, cause the military is kind of all they know, they've never had to be civilians really as adults.

Ghost is transitioning fine, and he's been a huge help for Soap, but Gaz is still kinda struggling. Eventually something happens and Alex is part of his life, but it's still not really what Gaz needs to feel "normal".

So Soap and Alex convince Gaz to start streaming/recording videos of their gaming sessions. It's a slow start, and Gaz is getting frustrated.

Until one time they play something silly but incredibly rage-inducing. It's a trending game because it's designed to pit you against your friends but is still silly nonetheless. There's one clip in particular that starts trending and becomes the reason Gaz's channel starts to take off.

The clip? Gaz yelling at Soap for something and Soap immediately just cursing him out in straight Scots only for Alex, an American, to scream into his mic as loud as humanly possible "WHAT THE FUCK IS A KILOMETER?!?!" after having been dead silent for the last 2 minutes. Why did he scream this? Not because of Soap's Scots, but because he had secretly just won the round after having lost the entire time they'd been playing.

People eat that shit up! Suddenly everyone's like "damn there's this hella attractive dude that records gameplay with his friends and they're all really funny." Everyone falls in love with Gaz's appearance first, but then they actually hear him and his friends interact and it's just trading insults and stupid jokes, acting like there's no one watching and they're suddenly kids again.

It eventually comes out that Gaz and his friends are all veterans, and despite the air around military not being the best, there's no denying that caring for veterans is a must. People slowly start to support Gaz's channel/streams, and before he knows it, he's actually got quite the following. His whole thing is about "wanting to do something to distract himself and others from the shitty aspects of life with a few laughs and some good games"

Eventually they convince Ghost to start gaming with them. It makes Gaz's popularity grow because now there's this really deep accent in the mix that's completely clueless as to what he's doing like 90% of the time (I just have this gut feeling that '22 Ghost is so fucking awful at video games) that they refer to simply as "Ghost". Suddenly, the chaos Gaz and his friends are known for increases tenfold. Ghost is flirting with all of them, Soap is arguing with him over literal couple things that come with living together, and there's a new element of really dark humor that wasn't there before (there was dark humor, just not this dark)

They're playing The Backrooms one time. They're not even in the game yet, just in the lobby. Gaz is laughing at Alex's tag for the game "MYLEG!" which is a reference to that one fish in Spongebob always yelling "my leg!" after an incident. Gaz is laughing too hard to actually explain to his viewers that, yes, Alex is an amputee. Soap starts making fun of him, as usual, and that's when it happens.

Alex: "I'll take my leg off and hit you with it, Soap, I swear to god." Soap: "I forgot you were already missing one for a second there and got real concerned." Alex: "No, Soap, I planned on removing my other leg. The one that's still attached, yeah. Just like a lil *pop noise*, ya know?" Gaz: *wheezing so hard he almost throws up*

Then they're playing this silly monster/cryptid hunter game called "A Day Out" and there's skeletons every now and then on the map. Gaz walks up to one and just starts freaking out, saying Ghost's name over and over.

Ghost, freaked out: What?? Gaz, pointing at the skeleton: Look, it's you! *cackling* Ghost, after a concerning long pause: *quietly* Nah, I'm not gonna say that Alex: SAY IT COWARD Ghost: No, that's my brother *Gaz making the most horrified face as he tries not to laugh* *Alex and Soap are losing their shit* Gaz: NAH THAT'S NOT OKAY

That clip posts and the internet looses it. I see this being the actual first video Ghost is in, so for this to be the first thing the viewers get of him, it's safe to say he's a hit. It's also never explained that Ghost does have a deceased brother, so there's just an acceptance of Ghost's skeleton brother.

There's several times where they've all gotten together and played silly games like Mario Kart when there's a bunch of them. There's the sober one and there's the drunk one, where there's so many different languages being hurled as curses at each other, Gaz gives up on captioning ANY of it.

OOOOooooooooohhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!! WHAT IF! Roach becomes his editor once he gets popular enough so he can spend more time playing games, solo ones when the others are working.

For a while, everyone's going crazy wanting to see what the others all look like, and sometimes (cause we're assuming the world they live in now during all this is a lot better), they're joined by Rudy or Alejandro, or both in one rare instance. Sometimes, for old times's sake, during the drunk gaming sessions, they'll call Laswell only for her to scold them. There are times they'll bully Roach who always, as the editor, changes their words from the insults to compliments. Or he definitely trolls Gaz a lot with some of the editing, and it's all around just a good time. Hence why everyone wants to know what they look like.

Then it's around the holidays after about 2 and a half years of Gaz's channel being as popular as it is. He posts a single picture on his socials with a group of people and the caption: "Love seeing the boys over the holidays."

It's such a nice photo; Alex with an arm wrapped around Gaz's shoulders, Soap and Ghost on his other side with Roach between Soap and Gaz.

And the internet has once again gone crazy. Why? Cause not only are these dudes fucking hilarious, but they're hot and taken.

Except, as they all end up teasing him about, Roach is very much still single XD

I have been watching too much YouTube lately, can y'all tell?? Haha anyways back to my hole I shall crawl

[januaryembrs]

HEARTBEAT | Geralt x reader

Request: hellooo! if your still up for requests i'd love a geralt one please! perhaps reader is vary of horses (maybe even afraid) and he tries to help? <3

description: After learning your fear of horses, Geralt takes a gentle approach at teaching you to trust his companion, Roach.

Word Count: 1.1k

Trigger warnings: fear of horses? close proximity?

main masterlist

Authors note: I'm back finishing the last of the requests sent, I do so apologise for the wait I've been super busy over Christmas and hope to satiate you all soon!

“What’s wrong?” Came his rugged voice, knocking you out of the stressed reverie you were in. 

“What?” You asked, half mindedly, “What do you mean?” You repeated, finally coming out of your thoughtful daze. 

“You’re being strange. Have been ever since we left town,” You felt caught. Witcher’s were naturally observant men, something you cursed yourself for not thinking of before, now that it had come back to bite you in the arse. 

And you had been acting strange. First it was refusing to mount the horse Geralt rode, Roach you knew her to be. You were tired all the time from walking the whole way to the next town while Geralt had the luxury of a steed, though you had brought the punishment on yourself you supposed. Then it was flinching every time the poor mare so much as whinnied, which she did so a lot when spooked by the monsters Geralt brought down. And now you refused to even sleep if she was too close to your bedspread. 

When you had been in town, it was not so noticeable. You spent a lot of time at the inn you were staying at, away from the bay coloured mare, so Geralt had not noticed the odd habits before. But now the two of you had hit the road and were sleeping next to a campfire instead of a roaring hearth, it was much more apparent.

“I-” You cut yourself off as the words died in your mouth. Your face blanked for a moment, thinking long about how you were to explain the issue to a man who knew no fear.

Geralt slayed monsters for a living, monsters that knew how to kill and kill well. Some of the bodies he brought back were two, three times his already mammoth size, and he still managed to charge at them without any hesitation. 

How on all the gods names were you supposed to tell him you were scared of horses? 

“Spit it out, then.” Geralt grumbled in his brash manner, though you could see in his amber eyes he was veiling his annoyance over true concern. Perhaps you wanted to leave him, he had expected nothing less. The two of you had only been friends a matter of months, but everyone always tires of him and his lifestyle eventually. 

He knew exactly what was to come out of your mouth. 

I don’t want to know you anymore.

“I’m scared of horses,” His head whipped up to meet your sullen eyes. Your face painted that of deep embarrassment, avoiding his gaze and poking at the fire with a frown. 

“What?” He bit, the confusion of the sentence clear as a bell in his tone. “What do you mean? It’s a horse.”

Your face flooded with heat that surely hadn’t come from the camp. The way he said it made it sound such a foolish fear to have. And it was, you supposed. Roach had never made any move to harm you or anyone else for that matter. But the idea of being atop such a muscled beast and giving her full control of whether she throws you off her or not made you frozen to the bone. 

“No shit,” You snapped, though all rebellion died in your chest as you accepted the fact he was clearly judging your fear of such a harmless creature. “I know it sounds ridiculous, I just always have been scared of them, alright?” 

Geralt pondered with a frown. Not even his usual ‘Hmm’ made an appearance, and so the two of you sat in silence. You feeling more foolish by the second, and him thinking fast of how to get through this problem of yours. 

Until he stood up brashly, walking over to his furred companion. You thought for a moment he was going to leave you here alone, thinking he stood much better chances with someone who was not so cowardly. And how could you blame him? You would hate to be stuck with someone so fearful when it came down to such a hostile environment. 

“Come here,” The behemoth man commanded, though he did so as gently as his rumbling voice would allow. 

You stared after him, eyes flicking to his outstretched hand, following his figure up to the calm mare that seemed unbothered by her owner's close proximity.

You hesitated for a moment, before standing and following his orders. Slowly taking steps towards the two, Geralt caught the moment your breath died in your throat as Roach grunted as horses normally do. He saw the way your fingers clenched at your side and your step faltered. 

He lowered his hand to calmly take yours in his large grasp, gently tugging you towards him and Roach despite the way he felt you resist. 

“Geralt-” You protested, her long snout seeking out your new smell and blowing hot air in your face. You tried stepping away from her, but Geralt’s body encompassed yours and forced you in place. His one arm stayed holding your wrist easily, while the other came around your body to push her snout away from your face softly. 

“She’s just curious about you, is all. She won’t hurt you,” Geralt tried to soothe you, feeling his strong heartbeat pressing against your spine. He began shuffling you forward under her neck with a strength you still tried and failed to resist against. 

“Geralt, please,” The panic was clear in your voice. You didn’t like horses and never would, and this kind of close exposure to them may have worked for some but only made you more on edge.

“Just trust me,” He whispered in your ear tenderly, lifting your arm up to her muscled chest. Your hand met her soft fur, her skin quivering momentarily at the contact though she showed no sign of upset, and his large hands spread your palm out onto her own heart beat. 

“Horses' hearts beat much slower than yours, did you know?” He murmured, keeping you tucked under her head and in front of him. You shook your head, feeling your own chest pounding at the proximity to such a beast. “Witchers hearts beat even slower than that,”  His breath was close to your ear now, as was Roach’s on your opposite side. You felt as if you were being squished in between the two of them, their breaths synchronising as they rolled down your spine in equal parts heat and chill. For every other beat of Roach’s heart came Geralt’s reverberating strongly in his chest, and it was then that you realised what he was doing. They sounded the same, horse and man. Hearts beating alike, breath swarming your senses gently, no danger to be found. 

If you should be worried about anything on your journey, it should be the monster-slaying beast that stood behind you that caressed your hand so kindly, and whispered in your ears that made your breathing stutter. 

This time when Roach nickered in your direction, you felt little fear, atleast half of what you’d had before. There was nothing to worry about when you had a man like Geralt guiding you.

[ceilidho]

forced throuple (soap/ghost/reader)

i've been ruminating on this idea for awhile, that basically after the Alone campaign and after getting out of Las Almas, Ghost more or less decided that Soap is his person. sort of like his pack. and it's only obvious that anyone Soap considers family would also get lumped into his pack as well.

Ghost doesn't keep very many people close - even those that he considers close (Price, Gaz, Roach, etc), he keeps at something of a distance. this is exemplified by the way he still clings to the possibility of betrayal (like telling Soap that "people you trust can hurt you the most"), but after Las Almas, I think something flips in him.

There's a switch that's been off for years, maybe even close to a decade, and it flips back online when he finds this man that trusts him without question, that follows his orders and looks up at him with these big, puppy blue eyes and it twists something in his chest. I don't think he would've even had something like that before, definitely not during his youth when he was still overcoming his childhood trauma and certainly not after everything that lead up to Simon becoming Ghost.

I don't even think Ghost would be particularly upset if Soap came back from leave one day with a girlfriend; he trusts Soap's judgment completely. And once he sees her for himself, pretty as pie tucked under his sergeant's arm (all small and doe eyed, smart as a whip when she opens her mouth), all that does is confirm his assumption.

It takes approximately eight seconds for Ghost's brain to file her under "mine", slotting her right under Johnny in that category and isn't that just perfect because it also takes approximately eight seconds for Ghost to imagine what she might look like under Johnny.

Soap would be distinctly uncomfortable at first. There's a fine line between having Ghost's undivided attention (and oh, he eats it up at first, struts around with his chin cocked just a bit higher than usual because he knows everyone else is watching him with equal parts envy for being Ghost's favourite and abject curiosity/horror) and having Ghost's....complete....undivided....attention.

Like Soap just wants to parade his new girlfriend around (she's sweet but snippy, everything he's ever wanted in a partner) in front of his colleagues, but then Ghost gropes her ass in front of everyone on base (because by then, Ghost has already started to think of the two of them as 'his' in his head) and Soap just stares, mouth dry, absolutely humiliated but no idea what to do (he's just thinking over and over again, "Do I tell him to stop, what do I DO??")

Because Ghost is his buddy, his best friend, his CO - Soap trusts Ghost implicitly, would put his whole life in his hands and know that Ghost would keep him safe.

So he doesn't get it at first? Maybe he thinks Ghost is actually interested in his girlfriend and it wrecks him because Soap can see himself really falling for this girl, but Ghost is also like - he's a part of him. He probably briefly does consider just letting Ghost have her, conceding defeat.

Ghost would correct that assumption soooo quick. There isn't a version of him that wants someone who doesn't also want Johnny. Inconceivable. After everything that they've been through together, the root of him and what he wants is inextricably tied with what Soap wants - he almost wishes he could live inside his head, just a constant stream of Johnny's thoughts into his.

Like Soap genuinely likes having all of Ghost's attention on him because he's a bit of an attention whore but it's a bit different when his LT is holding his head down into his girlfriend's pussy and telling him exactly how to rub his tongue over her clit.

Worse because Ghost's hand curls around his cock when he guides him through it, slick with lube. Almost too tight at first, clearly mimicking the way Simon likes to jerk himself off, even though Johnny prefers a slightly looser grip, a little slower, more indulgent.

Worse still when Ghost positions Soap over her, big hands on his hips and Soap has never felt like he had narrow hips until this very second. Lube drizzled over the furl of his entrance and his head spinning, staring down into his girlfriend's eyes as she watches the two of them wide eyed, still so anxious and it makes him want to sooth her, coo down at her that he's got her and everything's going to be just fine, but that thought is snipped right out of him when Simon lines himself up and presses in and his vision just goes white.

This whooollleeeee au is basically "when a bigger, stronger guy hits on ur gf but it's ok bc he also wants to plow u (her boyfriend)"

[gawkingatyourface]

Sweetest Tail | Preview

summary: A new recruit, Sas joined the Hazbin Hotel after the extermination which made Charlie so happy that she was jumping with joy. This new recruit took the whole crew to their only family that was outside of Pentagram City. Not realizing what they were getting into or more like whom they'll meet.

pairing: Lucifer x reader , Alastor x reader , Azrael x reader

warnings: angst, swearing, violence

notes: hi guys! this is my side blog for Hazbin Hotel stories hehe I've been so obsessed with the show as well as the songs. Just everything about it, pulled me in lol anyway, this is just a little preview of a story I'm working on. Hope you guys like it! Let me know if it's good or not hehe

"Are we almost there toots? We've been walking for who knows how long?!" Angel complained as Husk chuckled beside them.

"We are. Just a few more." The new recruit named Sas said back as he looked around to see a familiar building.

Well the only building in the middle of no where.

Everyone looked at the building before looking at Sas with curious and judgmental looks.

He turned back at them and rolled his eyes.

"It might look bad from the outside but inside it's way better. Haven't you guys ever heard of not judging a book from its cover."

"Don't read books."

"Nope."

"What's a book?"

Sas raised an eyebrow at them and shook his head.

"Come on. She's waiting for us."

That caught Charlie's attention.

"She? Are we here for another recruit?"

Sas shook his head.

"I don't think she wants to redeem herself to heaven. She hates heaven for a reason that I can't tell you."

"Oh..."

That made Charlier sad as Vaggie comforted her.

"She's also my big sister so flirting is off limits." He said towards Angel whom just laughed and stick their tongue out at him.

"Well, he's got a point." Husk commented which Angel glared at him.

Alastor was quiet as he had never heard of this place. He eyed the place with suspicious as he kept silent. He even glanced to see Lucifer even curious about this place. He figured that he didn't know this place as well.

The King of Hell didn't know of this place, how odd.

Sas stood in front of the door and glanced at everyone for a second before he opened the door to reveal a well, styled place.

A café.

Multiple types of demons were chatting away their lives, not caring whom had came in.

Everyone was astonished at how well designed this place was. It was old fashioned. With paintings and sculptures all around the area. There was a small bar on the right side of the place. On the far left corner, there was a small stage that someone was performing with a piano which gave the whole place the old times vibes.

Alastor really liked it. It reminded him back when he was a human.

Charlie was amazed at how everyone was so chill and collected.

No bloodshed. No violence.

Just calm and enjoyment.

Vaggie also liked at how calm the environment was. She could breathe in peace and not worry about protecting Charlie and the rest.

Angel thought the place was cool and stuff but their eyes were definitely on the bar and the variety of drinks they had.

Even Husk was astonished at the bar choices.

Niffty was on Alastor' shoulder before dropping to the ground. Her expressions about the place was hilarious. She eyed the whole place like a little girl in a field trip. So excited to explore the whole place for roaches.

"This place is amazing! Where are the roaches?!"

Sas managed to grab her before she ran all over the place and caused a rukus.

"Calm down Niffty. I'll let my sister know first for you to find the roaches."

"Yay! Where is she?! I need to kill them roaches!"

Sas shook his head before he handed Niffty to Angel and made his way to the bar.

Lucifer stood beside Charlie as he was amazed at the place interior design. It felt homey. So comfy and relaxing. It somewhat warmed his heart.

Sas nodded at the bartender and went back to the group.

"She'll be here in a bit. While we wait, let's go sit and get some drinks."

"Whoo! Finally!" Angel said as they all went to a table on the far end of the place.

"So what's this sister of yours like Sas?" Charlie asked as she sat beside Vaggie.

"Yeah, you make her sound so mysterious."

"As long as she doesn't kill us."

Before Sas could say anything, a angelic voice was heard.

"I don't think killing my little brother's friends would do me any good."

Everyone turned around to see a rather exquisite creature in front of them. Aside from Sas that looked at her with a big smile and teary eyes.

Standing in front of them was [Y/N], a nine tailed fox that was wearing a rather comfy dress with rested above her knees. Her eyes staring at each face with curiosity and interest.

Just like they were all looking at her with interest especially two of them.

Lucifer and Alastor.

They couldn't keep their eyes off of her. It was like she was hypnotizing them with just her eyes.

"[Y/N]!"

Sas yelled out as he got up and ran towards her; hugging her so tight.

She giggled at his excitement as she wrapped her arms around him tightly. She surely did miss him.

"Well, is it just me or you've gotten handsomer since the last time I saw you? Was it a year ago or so?"

Sas nodded as he hugged her tighter. He had missed her so much.

She smiled down at him as she stroked his hair with care and loving.

Charlie looked at her with big, sparkling eyes especially at the sigh of her nine tails. She had never seen anyone with so many tails. They looked so amazing.

"Her tails are gorgeous." She whispered to Vaggie whom nodded at her in agreement.

"You must be Charlie."

Charlie froze as she noticed that she had been staring too long at her tails that she didn't realize that she just spoke to her. She quickly got up and bowed at her.

"Yes I am!"

[Y/N]'s eyes widen before giggled at how adorable Charlie was acting.

"There's no need to bow Charlie. After all, you are the Princess of Hell. It's an honor for you to visit my place." [Y/N] said with grace as she slightly bowed since Sas was still hugging her.

"Well, Sas wanted us to meet you. He said that he really missed you and I wanted to have a conversation with you as well."

That caught [Y/N]'s attention.

"It's a pleasure to meet you all as well and what would you like to discuss with me?"

She patted Sas head for him to let her go as they both went to sit down. She sat on the empty chair between Lucifer and Alastor which Sas didn't like at all. He pouted as he sat beside Angel.

Lucifer gasped a bit as he glanced to see [Y/N] up close which made her even more beautiful in his eyes. The way she carried herself was something that attracted him to her but his face turned to a glare as he noticed the Radio Demon looking at her as well.

Alastor kept his eyes on her with a big smile on his face. Yet, this smile was different from his usual one. It was softer, like he had fallen in love at first sight yet he denied it. He had a plan and goal to get his soul back. That was all he needed. He didn't have time to fall for someone like her. There's no way.

But he couldn't help but keep his eyes on her, watching her every move especially her tails.

They looked so soft. He had the urge to touch them. He even had the idea that if she lets him touch her, he'd gladly let her touch his. His eyes widen at the realization at what he was thinking as he glanced away from her, not wanting anyone to notice his infatuation with her.

But one did.

And they weren't happy at all.

The King of Hell had been glaring at the Radio Demon. Alastor couldn't help but smirk back at him as if it was a competition which they both decided that it was.

"Well, it's mostly about my dream to help my people. I'm sure Sas has told you about the Hazbin Hotel."

[Y/N] nodded.

"Well, it's a hotel for sinners to redeem themselves so they can have a better life and possibly go to Heaven."

As Charlie went on about her dream and the improvement that everyone has been doing; [Y/N] was lost in thought about her idea. It did seem like a good idea but knowing how Heaven is especially Adam and Sera; it wasn't gonna happen.

Everyone wanted to go up to Heaven because of the paradise yet for some it wasn't worth it.

It was quiet for a bit until [Y/N] felt a spark from someone touching her hand-well more like both her hands which got her out of her mind and blinked several times to bring her back.

"[Y/N], you alright?"

Before she could say anything, she glanced to see that Lucifer and Alastor were the ones that awoken her. She gave them a small smile but that quickly disappeared as she felt a presence that she hadn't felt in a while.

A long time.

She knew that Lucifer was sitting next to her whom couldn't take his eyes off her along with the wide smiled guy that was sitting next to him.

No this was someone else.

Someone that she's been trying to hide from.

Her eyes widen at the realization as she quickly got up which got everyone's attention.

"You all need to-"

A loud crash was heard at the front door which made everyone gasp as they all stood up.

[Y/N] looked at the bartender and gave him a signal which he returned as he took several of the customers to the back door for safety. Just from the explosion, she automatically knew who it was.

It was him. For sure.

"Sis, what's going on?" Sas said as he gripped onto her hand tightly, not knowing what was going on.

"I need you to take your friends out of here. Someone is here and they don't take lightly-"

"Oh sweet [Y/N]...are you here darling?" A mocking, sweet voice was heard.

One that she knew so well that she got chills all over her body.

Lucifer stood up as well, knowing that voice as well. He didn't believe that he'd be here. He couldn't be.

"There's no way that.."

"It is him."

She answered him, not even looking at him.

Lucifer's eyes widen as he looked at [Y/N] whom was looking straight ahead in a glare.

"How is that...why is he even here?"

[Y/N] kept silent as the cloud of dust started to disappear to reveal the person that they were talking about.

"My sweet [Y/N], oh how I've missed you."

The voice got deeper as the view got clearer.

"Dad, what is going on? Who is that?"

Lucifer stood beside [Y/N] as he couldn't answer Charlie, he was too shocked at whom was in front of him.

"Oh my, we have some company. How fun. Guess this will make my work even easier." The figure revealed to be Azrael, the Angel of Death.

"Azrael."

Hearing her say his name made his smile wider as he took steps closer to her.

"How lovely your voice sounds when you say my name, wifey."

Everyone was shocked.

WIFEY?!

...

[podcastenthusiast]

"Here should be safe to set up camp," Geralt says, scanning the treeline with his eyes in that odd witcher way. Like he's seeing much more than a mere mortal could.

"Thank the gods," sighs Jaskier, who's been really starting to regret skiving off those physical fitness courses at Oxenfurt.

"Get a fire started while I tend to Roach."

"Oh Geralt, I'd love to, I would. Truly it's colder than a sorceress' shapely—"

"Jaskier."

"Well, as they say: you can lead a bard to timber, but you can't make him—"

"Just do it, Jaskier."

"I don't know how! All right? I've never built a fire in the middle of nowhere before! It's not one of the seven liberal arts, and I much prefer my fires stoked by comely barmaids in taverns."

Geralt looks at him for a long moment. It's a complicated look—frustration and amusement and a hint of regret. Mostly it's a look that says Jaskier is an idiot for joining him on the Path.

"Right," Geralt says slowly. He begins building the campfire himself.

"I imagine they teach wilderness survival to baby witchers at witcher school."

Geralt looks at him again and there's something different in his expression. The ghost of a smile? Jaskier doesn't quite know how to read it.

"Kaer Morhen," he says. "And yeah. Something like that."

"Oh?" Jaskier has to rein in his enthusiasm, his curious questions. Geralt so rarely reveals anything personal about himself or his past. Not that Jaskier has been forthcoming in that regard either. They live in the moment, day by day, but some context would help his creative process.

Besides all that, he genuinely wants to get to know Geralt a little better.

"Vesemir took me out into the forest one day. Gave me a knife and left me there for a month."

There is no bitterness in his words. If anything, the witcher sounds...almost fond. Nostalgic. Proud of his younger self for overcoming the challenges his mentors set before him.

It takes a moment for the true meaning of that to sink in and, once it does, Jaskier is horrified. His own parents weren't great, but even they would never simply abandon him.

"He just— like as a test— what—?"

"Real eloquent, bard. I doubt he had any choice. Probably wasn't even supposed to give me anything."

"How old were you?" he demands, unsure if any answer will make this revelation less abhorrent.

"Six? Seven? Maybe eight. I don't know." Geralt makes a gesture with his fingers and the pile of wood beneath his hand sparks with flame. "Not old enough to have learned Igni yet."

He can picture it, too, so vividly. Curse his dammed artist's imagination. Geralt, just a kid, alone and scared and definitely cold—because no one bothered to teach him how to start a fire.

"Stop it," the witcher snaps.

"What?"

"Looking at me like that. I'm fine. I was fine back then. Wasn't so bad at all compared to the Grasses. Vesemir came back for me like he said he would. I survived the trial—no, I didn't just survive; I exceeded all expectations, which is why they..." The witcher trails off. Takes a breath.

All of that... It's quite a lot of words for Geralt. Honest words, even.

It's his job to talk, to sing, to commit the most painful and difficult experiences to beautiful poetic verse. But Jaskier doesn't know what to say to his friend right now. Surely he has to say something.

"Geralt..."

"Don't waste your pity. Save it for the ones who didn't make it through. I did."

"Okay," the bard replies, careful and tentative. He isn't a brave man, nor a particularly kind one. But Jaskier considers himself an honest fellow so he adds, "Just because you made it through, you know, that doesn't mean what happened to you was all right, Geralt. Children aren't supposed to be left alone to fend for themselves."

The witcher laughs—a humorless, wretched sound. He doesn't say anything at all to that. Which is okay, really; Jaskier just needed him to hear it.

There is a long silence. The fire crackles. Jaskier absently strums his lute.

"You're gonna write a ballad about this, aren't you," Geralt says after a while.

"No!" Maybe. Yes. He won't perform it.

"Hm."

The fire crackles.

Quite out of the blue, Geralt tells him, "I befriended a wolf back then."

"What? You're joking!"

"Witchers don't have a sense of humor. Common knowledge."

"Common misconception. Most people are just stupid. No, hang on, stop distracting me—You had a pet wolf?!"

"Not a pet," the witcher corrects, smiling faintly. "Fangtooth was her own wolf."

"Fangtooth?" Jaskier repeats, struggling to contain his amusement. "Not Roach?"

"No."

"Forgive me, but that's adorable."

"I was just a child. I wanted to stay with her in the wilderness. Be a wolf, too. Or a knight." He shakes his head dismissively. Silly childish dreams.

"But you didn't," Jaskier says. And feels stupid for saying something so obvious.

"Too late for that," Geralt replies without reproach. "I was already a witcher."

"As a child, I wanted to run away and join the circus," the bard offers.

"Of course you did."

They're quiet for a moment then. Comfortable, shared silence. Just the sounds of birds and forest creatures, and Roach contentedly eating grass. The fire crackles.

"Geralt, will you teach me to light a fire? Without witcher magic, obviously, since I don't have any."

"Why?"

"Because...well, because I could be a more useful traveling companion. Like Fangtooth must've been."

"...Fine," Geralt agrees after some thought.

It is a skill he will be very grateful to have on freezing nights in the coming years, especially whenever the witcher is too injured or ill from those dreadful potions to help set up camp. He will try not to think of the child Geralt once was, subjected to horrific tests of his ability to survive all on his own.

Except he hadn't been on his own back then, not completely. And he isn't alone anymore, either.

[deadpool15]

Jealousy

Some say jealousy is an ugly trait. Well, they haven't been in a relationship with Korea's top choreographer. And they especially haven't met Tatter. That bitch is like a roach that won't die. I've tried on multiple occasions to bring up the issue to Bada, though she just gives me constant reassurance. Most would be satisfied with that, "Baby, you're the only woman for me. You're the only one I see. I don't even waste my time thinking about anyone else."

Now, sure, that's amazing, and I love her for that until Tatter steps doing some shit. From the fake tears to looking out for hugs and kisses on the cheek. It's like she lives off the attention. She is sneaky with it, waiting til she believes I'm no longer in the room. Out of site out of mind for her. It's hard to talk to Bada about it, though. She sees Tatter as her little sister. Sadly, Tatter doesn't share the same mindset. Even going as far to fake as being insecure in situations gets some attention.

You see one thing I had to get used to wad the touchy movements. I mean I had met BEBE before I was dating Bada. Even then it was a bother to me. I'm not a touchy person, but Tatter sure is. The slick shit she does when she thinks I'm not around is so fucking funny.

Bada- Baby, if you not busy you can come to the studio with me to keep me company. Seems I'm gonna be here longer then I thought.

I glance down at my phone and see a notification. "Oo, it's from my girl." I say will getting so excited. She has been so busy with work. I miss her. I look down at the message and smile and immediately start getting ready. As we have already established, I'm down bad for this woman. Shit, on our first date, just watching her order food had me fucking wet. How can someone be so fucking beautiful?

I grab a pair of sweatpants that are obviously not mine. In my defense, nothing I wear is mine anymore these days. Then, I put on a top that's basically just a nipple cover at this point. I mean, sue me, it's hot as shit in Korea right now. I then start to get some snacks and making sure to grab my keys and make my way out the door.

Talia- Aww someone misses me. I'll be there soon are the girls there?

Bada- No, everyone left just me, and I need motivation, baby. Hurry up.

I get in the car, making my way to the nearest chicken spot. Got to make sure to get her favorite. And grab a couple of cokes. Then, I start to make my way over to Bada. It's takes about 30 minutes before I sit in the parking lot of JustJerk building, I grab everything inside the car and walk to the entrance. I'm greeting by Gina, the receptionist at the front desk, asking me how my day was and what not. I always feel bad because I can never remember her name. Then, after our little chat, I walked towards Bada's studio. It wasn't hard to find its it seemed she was the only one who was still working. I walk inside with a struggle, "carrying all this fucking food."

I was busy trying to finish working on the choreography for NCT's newest comeback, which I was almost done with until I heard laughing. I turn around and spot my girlfriend. I ran over to her, picking her up and spinning her around the room. "You took forever, I thought you changed your mind about coming." I tell her with a slight pout on my face. She grabs my cheeks, smashing them together, "I would've told you if I changed my mind. Now, before you ran over here like you were raised without any home training, I was carrying so found for you, Ms. Lee, that has now landed on the floor. It better still be good." I place her down, before looking at the floor see the boxes of chicken, "Baby, you didn't have to get me food." She grabs my cheeks again. "Of course, I did. You sit in here all day overworking yourself. And neglecting your health at times. So, you will eat, plus this can be like a little date for us. " I smile at her before hugging her. I truly do love this girl.

"What would I do without you?" I know I tell myself that every day." We then sit there telling each other about our days, how she is struggling in her classes at time, but then she takes breaks and remembers it's not the end of the world. Maybe I should do that. Before we can continue, the door opens. "Tatter? I thought you left and went home for the day." I look over a Talia hoping praying that Tatter leaves before some shit goes down. Talia and Tatter have created this unspoken beef, but for my sake, they keep it cool, sometimes. "Oo, yea, so while I was on my way home, I realized the reason we were struggling with the dance was because the moves are clean. Like they are sloppy. So I came back here to help you with it?" I stare at her, smiling slightly, but before I can tell her to politely leave, Talia speaks up.

"Hello Tatter, nice to see you too. How are you? That's great. I'm doing just fine. Thanks for asking. It's so nice that you take time out of your busy schedule and acknowledge my existence." She says bitterly. Tatter just looks at her and smiles, "O, sorry Tania, I didn't see you there." "it's Talia you knew that though bitch." I look at both of them already seeing where this conversation is heading. "Tatter l, thanks for stopping by. But, I think we should just worry about that tomorrow. Today's been a long day. I see Talia getting ready to make a slick ass remark so I stop her, "Talia don't fucking start. Tatter leave. Now." She rushes out, looking sad, and I turn around to see Talia getting up and leaving.

She rushes to the bathroom and tries to lock me out before I catch the door and push her inside. "Wow Bada how fucking nice of you to welcome yourself. She basically comes in this bitch throwing shots at me and leaps on to you making it see as if im not in the fucking room and your response is Talia dont start. Great job on making your girlfriend feel secure in her relationship." I stand there staring at her before grabbing her hips and placing her on the vanity area. She stops her little rant and simply glares at me. "I was trying to calm the situation before you started coming at each other physically. I know how you are, baby. That would've ended well." I grab her chin titling her head upwards to make eye contact.

"I know how she feels about me. I'm not slow, I'm aware. But I've told you I only have eyes for you, plus it is hard to look anywhere else when you show up taking care of me." I push myself against her. She drives me fucking insane, those big glossy lips, her fucking curly hair sitting at the top of her head in a slick bun. And those big beautiful eyes are just so ready for me to do anything to her. "I'm sorry baby, how about you let me make it up to you, huh? Gonna make you feel so good you know I always do." I slowly start kissing her neck while moving my hand down to her pants.

"You look so fucking good baby, my good girl right?" She sits there nodding her head in a daze. I grab her underwear and push them aside making my way directly to her clit, then I start to press down on it causing her to grab my arms. I'm sitting here whimpering, trying to reach my neck to pull me down for me kiss. "Please... please Bada just fucking put them inside." She tells me while trying to cover up her moans. I immediately stop. "Baby, you know I like to listen. How am I supposed to know I'm doing a good job? Come on baby, be a good girl and move those hands for me. Don't you want my apology, yea? I know you do, baby. She starts to hide in my neck, moaning. "Sound so good, sweet girl. Just sit back and let me make it up to you."

[bau-drabbles]

a/n: creds to the prev people that did this! :)

your insta but you're dating aaron hotchner, part 3

okay i promise this is the last time 😭 i made this in such a rush, it's so ooc. pls forgive me and enjoy 🤍

part 1, 2, 4

liked by itslukealvez, reid.gram and 500 others

y/n_xo: aaron and his dimples 😍🫶

view all 240 comments

d.morgan: and then you have reid who's standing behind him like a skin walker

its.emilyp: he looks like a kid who's gone to tell his dad he ate all his food including the veg

itsjj: he looks like henry when he vomited at 2am and came into my room to announce it

penny.garcia: my sweet boy, he looks like he needs a big long hug!! 🥹🥹

d.morgan: he's fine sweetness, he's going to live 😐

its.emilyp: its okay derek, spencer loves you too

d.morgan: i already know, who wouldn't 😏

y/n_xo: this is not tinder pls, i just wanted to appreciate aaron's dimps 🥲

itsjj: aww father and his son 💗

a.hotch: one is enough, thanks

d.morgan: loool you heard the man, reid. no one likes you

a.hotch: you leave him alone right now 🤨

reid.gram: you heard the man, morgan. no one likes you 🥱

liked by its.emilyp, penny.garcia and 490 others

y/n_xo: he's so cute 🤍🥹

view all 301 comments

d.morgan: yknow sometimes i forget hotch is a whole father

reid.gram: same. he's so angry all the time. i can't fathom him showing any other emotions beside it

y/n_xo: he's so nice to jack, i can't remember last time i even got a kiss 🥲

itsjj: this morning when we walked by your office 🤨

penny.garcia: or last night when we were at the dinner 🤥

the.davidrossi: or literally anytime you both are together 😐

a.hotch: i literally kissed you just a minute ago. but okay

its.emilyp: ignore them all, baby. i'll give you all my kisses 👭

its.emilyp: has he been working out? 🤨

a.hotch: it's all natural, i assure you

d.morgan: he's lyin. he asked me to help him work out

a.hotch: have you never heard of privacy before??

itsjj: i was going to say, he's been looking.... a little bigger lately 🤔

y/n_xo: JJ 💀💀

itsjj: is that not what the kids are calling muscular?

penny.garcia: right?? recently he's been coming in sweaty like he's been running for miles

y/n_xo: sometimes he does ;)

itsjj: 👁👄👁

reid.gram: i am so close to blocking you from my phone

d.morgan: i really did not need that vision in my head 🤢

penny.garcia: i also did not need to see our boss in that light please

y/n_xo: shouldn't have asked 😌🫶

the.davidrossi: i think its time to slip into early retirement

y/n_xo: finally❤

liked by a.hotch, itsjj and 578 others

y/n_xo: i love u my grumpy man

view all 309 comments

a.hotch: i love you more, my sweet ❤

its.emilyp: wake up and break up rn

reid.gram: the way i fell into a endless void of nothingness for all of eternity

itsjj: aww you guys are so cute😁🔫

penny.garcia: right, you guys are so adorable!! (i've had enough of living)

d.morgan: highway during rush hour looks mad comfy rn

a.hotch: please every single one of you seek professional help

its.emilyp: two bros holding hands 6 feet apart because they're not gay

y/n_xo: EMILY :(

itsjj: em you know he's just shy

its.emilyp: of what? me personally, i'd be flaunting y/n everywhere 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

y/n_xo: (s)creaming 😻

a.hotch: Y/N! 😠

d.morgan: you do know... we can read these right?? 🤢

reid.gram: i think she likes feeding off our fear and horror

liked by kate.callahan, blake_alex and 503 others

y/n_xo: i'm abt to give strauss a quick call 🤨

view all 234 comments

the.davidrossi: please like erin would go for you 💆‍♂️

y/n_xo: i didn't think she'd go for a mean old pasta man yet here we are

penny.garcia: is that jealousy i smell? 🤔

its.emilyp: he's actually ecstatic that his secret is out #rotch4life😍

reid.gram: you mean *roach

a.hotch: is that how this team refers to me, as the chief supervisor? 🤨

its.emilyp: yep 🫂

d.morgan: she said it^^

its.emilyp: omgg conspiracy theory, hotch dated y/n so he could lust over rossi in private 😹

reid.gram: it's not a conspiracy if it really happened ☝

a.hotch: this most certainly did not happen!

its.emilyp: well you know what they say, guilty until proven innocent

the.davidrossi: nobody says that!

its.emilyp: okay and how do you know?? exactly you don't. case closed 🗣

d.morgan: honestly rossi... it feels like you're trying to cover up your tracks 😏

its.emilyp: the closet is glass, we know and it's okay ❤

itsjj: we all love youu 🥹🫶

the.davidrossi: all of you better sleep tonight with a lock. i'm coming after every single one

penny.garcia: if you kill me, could you try not to ruin my hair? the curls are no joke 😩

[terriwriting]

Hi. My name is Terry and I went into debt during the pandemic lockdowns. Some of it was because I had to break a lease to escape a building the landlords were turning into a slum (elevator was broken for nearly a year, roaches overran the place, next door neighbour was throwing coke parties all night). For a while things were okay, but then the rising cost of living and rising interest rates made that debt unsustainable. Now I'm lurching from one crisis to the next and I need to get out from under this debtload before it crushes me. Everything donated to this fundraiser will go directly to paying down that debt, because it is the single biggest problem in my life and makes every other problem worse.

I actually owe over $10,000, but I have one Guaranteed Investment Certificate left over from years ago when I was able to save money. That matures in August and I've already made arrangements with my bank to have it applied directly to my debt. The GIC is for just over $7,000, which leaves me with $3,000+ to pay off somehow.

Currently I make just enough to cover bare minimums (rent, utilities, groceries) and if I can get extra shifts I can keep up on interest payments. But if I can't get those extra shifts or if I miss a shift I fall further behind. And sometimes I get enough to pay the interest, but I get it too late in the month to pay by the due date and still end up being charged a late fee. For a while I was making headway on the debt, then the cost of living went up and I was just breaking even. Then both the cost of living and interest rates went up and now I'm barely hanging on by my fingernails.

I have tried to make up the difference by cutting back. I've reduced my phone and internet services to the lowest levels available, and I try to keep my power usage to a minimum. Water is included in my rent but the area I live in is in drought conditions and water bills are going up. Property taxes are also going up in the region. My rent will probably go up at the end of my lease, whether I stay in this place or try to find a new one. Every apartment in this city is too expensive now, and my landlords have actually been comparatively reasonable in raising rent.

The cost of living has gone up too fast for me to keep up with, and I can't make my interest payments or reduce this debt on my own. Every small setback becomes a crisis, and I've made two posts here to cover things like vet bills and end of month bills. If I can reduce my interest payments immediately and reduce my debt over the next few months, I can get out of this spiral. If I can't, I'm going to keep tripping from one crisis to the next until I fall completely.

It's not all bad news. I have a couple of ongoing writing projects that might actually earn some money. My cats are healthy (thanks to everyone who donated to my previous fundraiser). And I have an apartment that is close enough to shopping and work that I don't need a car. I'd be doing alright if not for this debt. So: Everything donated to this fundraiser will go directly to paying down that debt, because it is the single biggest problem in my life and makes every other problem worse.

Thank you for reading this.

$100/$3100. Thank you!

[axelnyx]

Kinda wanna right a fic where Soap goes absolutely feral

Like, hear me out. The 141 members, bearing Soap, get captured and then the people who took them manage to convince everyone that Price, Ghost, Gaz and Roach (yes I'm including him idc that he wasn't in the reboot) are dead even though they aren't. And then Soap just...idk absolutely fucking looses it. He sets off on a one man path of revenge, not caring if he lives or dies trying to get it. Of course, he ends up finding out his team is alive and saving them, but he isn't the same. In fact, he acts early similar to how Ghost did at the very beginning of his time with 141, before the others pulled Simon Riley back from the grave.

Like just imagine the angst potential :) Idk was just an idea I've had the past few days.

[mangoguy]

Displacement (1/2)

John "Soap" McTavish(2009) x Reader x John "Soap" McTavish(2022)

Warnings: Mention of Modern Warfare 3 (2011), Some fluff, they/them used once other than that no pronouns are used.

You recall your relationship with your John while in the hospital.

Another entry For @glitterypirateduck Soap It Up challenge!

This was heavily inspired by the Multiverse AU by shotmrmiller. It's been on my mind for a while lol

"Right, what the hell kind of name is 'Soap', eh? How'd a muppet like you pass selection?"

You heard Price state, looking up from cleaning your gun you saw the new guy who was set to join. Fresh faced and ready for battle, you wondered how long that would last. You watched as he passed the C.Q.B with a pretty average time, but he passed nonetheless. After that Price quickly briefed the team on the mission, infiltrating and assaulting a cargo ship in the Bering Strait. He dismissed us to get ready, deciding you wanted to try and get to know the new guy. You walked over to him and fell into step with him. 

You remember it wasn’t hard to get him to open up, which was surprising, most of the guys here were not up for much conversion. After a while, you decided to ask the biggest question on your mind, you asked him about his hair. 

“Why did you decide on a mohawk?” You heard him huff.  

“Because it was cool…” He mumbled.

"I love ye, y'know that right?"

You could faintly hear Captain McTavish mumble those words under his breath but the sound of the helicopter made you wonder if you heard it at all. What affirmed that it was indeed said out loud was when he took his hand in yours, rubbing his thumb over the back of your hand in a soothing gesture. Who he was comforting, you weren't sure, but you had an inkling it was to ground himself. 

You recall It was his first mission as captain and if he was nervous he sure as hell didn’t show it. But you knew him, he often sought some small physical contact as comfort when he was nervous. 

It's funny how you remember these things.

You also remember his first mission as captain went off without a hitch, of course, there were hiccups but like he promised nothing happened to you. It was oddly sweet in its own way, he knew you could take care of yourself but he often fretted sometimes (even if he didn't entirely show it).

Another moment you recall with John McTavish was when you two were outside. He was smoking and you were just keeping him company. It was a nice evening, a bit cold but nothing you couldn't handle. You two were talking about anything and everything as you two normally do. Then the topic of living together came up.

"Y'know... I've been thinking after all this is over we need to... do couples things" he chuckled.

"Oh yeah? Like what? I thought fighting in battlefields was good date material," you joked.

"Ah, that's gettin' old... we could get our own place," he suggested. 

"Get our own place? What are you suggesting?" You turned to look at him, he was already looking at you with a grin.

"Aye, I'm sayin' we should live together once this is all over and done with, I'm thinkin' out in the fields near a small town, just the two of us," he stubbed out his smoke before leaning against you. He wrapped an arm around your waist and brought you closer. 

"Hm, that sounds wonderful... We could get a cat... maybe two so the other one wouldn't be lonely," you suggested, planting a kiss on his lips as you both thought about this fantasy. You'll never forget the way his cheeks turned a bit rosy after that. 

Though before house buying the one important thing on John's 'Couples things' list was getting married. Of course, you both talked extensively about it, making sure it was something you both were on the same page on. The ceremony wasn't anything special, just you, John, and a few friends and family to celebrate at John's Parents' house. It was a sweet time, filled with talking and laughing (Ghost and Roach were both raiding the snacks John's mom made). 

"Look at you, my little brother gettin' married! Never thought I see the day, thought you were married to the military life for a sec," John's sister teasingly bumped his shoulder. Though she was teasing, she seemed pretty proud and happy for him. 

"Aye, never thought I get so lucky, knew I wanted to marry them 6 months in but didn't want to scare them," John chuckled while wrapping an arm around your waist. You just rolled your eyes and nudged his rib, and he responded by pinching your hip before kissing your cheek.

But things didn't turn out like you both planned. Luck had to run out someday.

'I won't let anything happen to you,' rings in your head, he never failed to mention it before missions you both went on.

Is that why you were here?

You weren't sure how to explain it. One moment you were with John and Yuri, in that building, something went off and you woke up with someone looming over you.. before it all went black again.

You felt like you were in a different body, and you say that loosely since it still felt like you but a bit younger, less tense. You weakly opened your eyes, the blaring lights of the hospital flooding your vision. You groaned, wincing away for a moment before it felt safe to look again. The bed you were lying on was much softer than the ones back on base.

"Ah, you're awake," you saw a nurse to your left side checking your vitals, she gave you a reassuring smile.

"You were out for a while, almost two months! Had some bloke worried sick about you... Johnny, I think his name was," she started explaining. You never really heard people refer to John as Johnny but whatever at least you knew he was alive.

“Is he okay?” You rushed to ask.

“Yes he’s fine, was discharged a while ago, you were the one to take the most of the damage,” She paused to resume her work.

“Actually he should be coming back soon, doesn’t leave your side unless he needs the restroom, you definitely have a good one,” She chuckled.

Oh, thank god he was okay.

The nurse left you to rest after and you started mulling over what happened.

An explosion happened, you were falling alongside Yuri when it happened. But you couldn't remember much else.

You began to feel uneasy, like you lost a big part of yourself and yet you couldn't explain why. Which was weird considering the nurse just confirmed he was, in fact, relatively okay. While you were mulling it over some more you didn't hear the door opening and the sound of hurried footsteps rushing over to your bed.

"Yer awake!" 

You whipped your head up to see your husband, so grateful he was okay. You were almost ready to jump on him but you froze when your eyes finally landed on him. What looked like John, though he was a mildly younger version of him. He was a bit shorter than your John as well, along with sounding vastly different. 

That was definitely not your John.

He looked worried and relieved at you. Placing a hand on yours but also trying not to hover around you, you noticed a tattoo on his right arm, John didn’t have an arm tattoo. He decided to just sit down on the chair that was pushed near your hospital bed. Not knowing what to do you took your hand out of his and placed it on your stomach. 

That’s when you noticed your simple wedding band was gone.

Replaced with one that had a pearl and a few diamonds.

Whose ring was this?

You were confused and dare you say scared. Scared more than you ever have been in your life and that's saying a lot considering your line of work. But where exactly were you? 

"Yer looking at me like ye don't know me, Bonnie," the man broke the silence. 

But you didn't know him, you assumed this was the bloke the nurse mentioned.

Johnny. 

Wearing the face of your John.

Just what exactly happened?

Words: 1,347

Reblogs and comments are appreciated!

[greenhaired-gremlin]

rewatching HH pt 3

WEE DAD BEAT DAD MY SECOND FAVORITE EPISODE LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOO

the intro is a bop tho. i literally never skip it

Charlie having an unhealthy sleep schedule is so real

"Kill everyone?' real honestly

"you got daddy issues?" his smirk I'm dead

EMO CHARLIE

LUCIFER MY MENTALLY ILL NEURODIVERGENT LOML

the scripting before answering is so real

niffty in the background just chilling (literally acting like Alastor)

Pen's (i can't spell his name help) fuckin OwO face constantly

"TAKE THAT DEPRESSION" real

Al plotting

LUCI GREETING ALL THE CREATURES MAKES ME SO HAPPY "KEEKEE" OWO

AL: meets literal king of hell - immediately insults him

Luci canonly being the first person to make Al say the fuck word

the roaches fucking while Charlie is showing Luci the parlor

ok you can't tell me Luci didn't realize Vaggie was an angel like halfway through and just didn't say anything

Hell's Greatest Dad is such a vibe. Luci's little spin im sjhbdhjsd

DEVIL WENT DOWN TO GEORGIA REFERENCE (its funny cause i live in Georgia hehe)

"sadly there are times a birth parent is a dud" can confirm

Husk's face when Mimzy shows up he rlly is just like "fuck this bullshit"

Alastor is very annoyed by Mimzy you can tell. in the back he's just like -v-

THE BEEZLEJUICE SIGN IN THE BACKGROUND GHSBYGASDYG

WOO ALASTOR LORE

okay so its implied that Alastor killed most, if not all, of the overlords when he showed up, but Zestial and Carmilla are known to have BEEN THERE FOR A WHILE... so im curious if he knew he couldn't kill them or if they made an unofficial deal

okay i love Al as a character but husk and his convo scene makes me so mad

al is terrifying

THE JAZZ AS AL WALKS AWAY

husk shaking like a cat i have so many headcanons for husk rn (lmk if anyone wants them...)

HOLY SHIT WHEN LUCI'S TALKING ABOUT HEAVEN VAGGIE LOOKS AWAY GUILTILY

vaggie speaking Spanish

HUSK JUST -_- this entire episode is so relatable

PEN SAVING NIFFTY

okay but the doubling voice when Al uses his power. makes brain go brrr

Charlie: defending Al

Al: literally dropping a loan shark down his throat in the back

Al being done with Mimzy is so important to me. probably gonna post a full thing on it cause it's actually a really vital thing

Husk and Angel eating popcorn. me too besties

More Than Anything hits me right in the daddy issues i literally almost cried that first time i watched it.

okay but Lilith taking Charlie away? i really think there's something between Luci and Lilith that we don't know bc like... what?

"I've missed that smile" IJHWBUYSHYBYHS

"I'm grateful you're my daughter/father" UGH RLLY CALLING MY DADDY ISSUES OUT

PROUD DAD PROUD DAD PROUD DAD PROUD DAD PROUD-

Vaggie at the end is just like oh fuck

[one-time-i-dreamt]

not a dream

Days ago, I've discovered that a neighbor from the building I used to live with has disappeared. 21 days later and he's still missing. I've been sleeping badly since hearing about it.

We lived on the same floor, he was a few doors down the hall from my folks and I, and Ragnar and him really liked each other. There wasn't a time where he wouldn't come to pet him if he saw us out and about.

He was a veteran of the Croatian War of Independence and was completely destroyed by it. I know about it because not a lot of people talked to him, but I did, and he opened up to me about things.

He took to drinking, a lot. He wasn't aggressive, he was destructive to himself. Since meeting him up until the time we moved away, he lost a lot of weight and shrunk into himself.

Things he was saying stopped making sense. We had roaches on our floor because he never wanted to let the fumigation guys into his apartment. He sold his flat a little before we moved and the new owner had to basically tear it down to clean it.

One time the fire department was called because he fell asleep while cooking something and burned a kitchen towel and our hallway was covered in thick smoke. One time he broke a glass in front of the hallway door and left it like that. There were...incidents.

From talking to him, everyone could tell he wasn't doing well. He used to be very lucid, but he stopped having many lucid moments in the last few months I knew him. Last I heard, he moved to somewhere where he would be getting some help.

There was a time where he cleaned his act up for a while. He stopped drinking and was allegedly working. He met a woman. But that didn't last long. I was rooting for him hard.

Every day I check his missing person entry and hope for the best. It's still there. He's still missing. I've learned that he is only 55. I thought he was much older. Life hasn't been kind to him. I hope he is found, but everything in my body is saying that chances for that are none.

[octopiys]

Omg imagine:

Price: Soap, tie your shoes please you'll fall

Soap: No! I'm a big boy I can do what I want. *proceeds to fall stright on his face on his first step*

It's not as funny as it was in my head but still🤭

~🐸

RAHHHH NEW ANON🐸‼️‼️‼️

Some more incorrect quotes (I'm bored at work)

-

Ghost: I feel like I can be myself around you.

Soap: You’re weird and quiet around me.

Ghost: Yes.

-

Gaz: Isn’t it a bit dangerous?

Soap: Gaz, please. We’ve in a lot of unexpected predicaments before and we always escape unhurt.

Gaz: ...

Soap: Okay, we sometimes escape unhurt.

Gaz: ...

Soap: Alright, we escaped unhurt once... Then we hurt ourselves on the way home.

Alejandro: Sorry I'm late, I was doing stuff.

Graves, coming into a meeting looking disheveled and 10 minutes late: YOU PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKING STAIRS!

-

Price: If I run and leap at Nikolai, he will most certainly catch me in his arms.

Price, running towards Nikolai: Coming in!

Nikolai: No! I’m holding coffee!

Nikolai: *Drops coffee and catches Price*

-

Price: Soap, please tie your shoes, you're gonna fall.

Soap: Price, I'm a big boy.

Soap: I can do whatever I want.

Soap: you're not my dad.

Price, unfazed: you done?

Soap: yeah.

Soap, turning away: *trips and falls*

-

Horangi, doing crossword: I need a long word for-

König: t-rex.

Horangi: ....what-

König: t-rex

König: but the long one.

-

Rodolfo: I ran into Alejandro in the kitchen at 1 AM last night and when I asked him what he was doing, he just shrugged, said “these are my roaming hours,” and wandered off

-

Roach: Last week, König tried to flush a live lobster down the toilet "because it worked for Nemo".

Gaz:

Gaz: oh my god.

-

Gaz: Would it be discrimination to only hire employees at my doughnut shop who have the same name?

Ghost: Legally, I don't believe that breaches any discrimination laws. Morally though... I don't know.

Gaz: I believe god is on my side when it comes to Duncans' Doughnuts.

Gaz: or Jimmy/John's.

Soap: hey

Price: hey

-

Ghost: If you kill me, my teeth only have a 2% drop rate.

Graves:

Graves: What?

Ghost: Good luck.

-

Ghost: You’re an idiot.

Soap, grinning: That’s the charm.

-

Soap: Hey, I’m getting in the shower. Wanna help me out?

Ghost: ...Have you never taken a shower before?

(Later)

Ghost: fuckin' hell, wait a minute-

-

Uh because I've seen it a lot recently here is your reminder that Gaz erasure is NOT welcome on this blog. I love him sm. Gaz appreciation :D

[mysteriouslybluepirate]

IZZY HANDS FIC RECS! (I want em', I've got em')

What is everyone reading in OFMD fandom right now?

I am currently mostly caught up on my 'to read list' and YALL. I'd love more recomendations!! I will take ANYTHING! I will read ANYTHING!

I'd love to start a chat, so I'd love y'all to leave something you've read recently down below!

I've also added some tasty ones I've read recently down below separated by ship! THEY ARE AMAZING!

Frenchie/Izzy:

The Poetry of Flowers: By Aletea [Rated:Teen. Complete]

Frenchie falls hard and fast. It takes Izzy a little while longer to catch up. This is the slow courtship of Izzy Hands, using flowers.

This fic was written for OFMD Aro/Ace Week 2024.

[Personal notes: OMG-It's so *GOOD*. This has a bit of S2, but mostly takes place post S2, if that tempts you, READ IT. This got me back into the hobby Frenchie does in the fic and AHHH]

you steal my breath away: By ChangeTheCircumstances [Rated: Mature. Complete]

Something is clearly off about Izzy, but when Frenchie sees him petting a cat, it finally clicks. Izzy is a fucking witch! In order to protect the crew, Frenchie makes the next obvious step in logic: he has to kill him.

[Personal notes: I feel this one is just 'if you like Frenchie/Izzy, you've READ THIS- but it's so earnest! SOLID fic the 'realizations' on both ends are really amazing and well written, reread it if you have]

Warnings from the Bottom of My Heart: By scrunglebungus [Rated: Teen. Complete]

Izzy likes Frenchie's voice. He appreciates his music and his long pretty fingers as they move across his Lute. He doesn't have a crush. He DOESN'T.

...and if he did, it's not like he's obvious about it.

(Spoiler: He is) AKA: 5 times Izzy is given the shovel talk + 1 time it's given on his behalf

[An alternate S2 fic written before S2! It leans a bit more 'Izzy needs to redeem himself' than I usually read, but all the Izzy & Crew interactions are SO in character it's scary. That and the Captains are so well realized on top of Izzy and Frenchie being great. LOVE IT]

Roach/Izzy:

Take Up Thy Stethoscope And Walk: bongbingbong [Rated:Mature. Complete]

Of Roach, the scientist - although, that those ghoulish practices he carries out should be called science is a subject on which some might disagree - I feel like I should speak with extreme terror. In laying down those events which transpired during that winter in the turning over of our century, it seems as though on paper they create an impression of little more than a tawdry tale, a freak show in writing for the morbidly curious. It’s no question that I spent a great deal of that time afraid for my life, and for my soul. And yet, I tell you - I have never felt quite so alive as I did during the days I have spent living in the graveyard.

I wonder what this might say about me. What a pair we make.

Izzy Hands dies. Roach brings him back to life. This is the easiest part of the process.

Written for the OFMD Reverse Big Bang 2023, with art from Tarouofthesea!

[Omg. OMFG. I love this fic. I love this Frankenstein'ian/Reanimator fic SO MUCH. It is just SOOOOOOO-! AMAZING characterization, stunning art, the way everything pays off plot/reference-wise! LOVE IT!]

Blackbeard's Roach: bongbingbong [Rated: Teen. Unfinished. 4/6]

What if Roach had ended up on the Queen Anne's Revenge before the events of the show?

(A alternative universe Roach who wears leather and cooks for Blackbeard's crew, and flirts outrageously with their first mate)

[ANOTHER bongbingbong Roach/Izzy fic!!! I love the way bongbingbong writes Roach/Izzy. It's not finished, but I am SO excited to see how it goes! In this one, even though it's unfinished, I feel it GETS the pre-Bonnet life Izzy lived on the Queen Anne. If you like probably autistic Izzy, READ THIS! That, and Roach and Izzy's relationship is SO GOOD. I won't spoil it, but the mutual trust is really strong!]

Stede/Izzy:

The Mount: rainingrenee [Explicit. Complete (WLW smut<3)]

Stede Bonnet enters the Revenge self defence class expecting to learn something.

She meets instructor Butch Dyke Supreme Izzy Hands and gets more than she bargained for.

[God. I love women. This smutty 8k fic is AMAZING and honestly any WLW in this fandom needs some love!]

When It Takes Hold: krill collins (krillcollins)[Explicit: 5/12]

Izzy Hands, a 90s heartthrob turned casting director with an impressively average back catalogue, never foresaw his career trajectory bringing him back to television. He certainly never would've guessed that his big return would be on Strictly Come Dancing. At least it breaks the monotony, even if he's paired with the insufferable twat, the Gentleman of the Ballroom.

It's the kind of fast-paced environment that Izzy was sure he'd long-since grown out of, and he's sure he's not going to make it past the first few weeks. Still, the more he finds himself enjoying it, the more he hopes he'll stay, and he finds himself more in love with life than he's been in years.

Still, the talk of the curse puts Izzy on edge. Bonnet is strangely captivating and seems more interested in Izzy than Edward has in years. Izzy may not believe in them, but that's the thing about curses: once they take hold...

[OMG. OMFG?!?!? Do you know how much I love 'Dancing with the Stars' AU? NO? Well. For every fandom I enter, my first tags I search are 'time loop' 'time travel' and 'dancing'. This fic is EVERYTHING I love about the trope. I have been following this fic from Day 1 and OMG. I love it. Can't recommend it enough]

The Island: triedunture [Explicit: 10/? Updates every Friday-SteddyHands but Izzy/Stede focused]

Stede Bonnet wakes up in the little cottage he and Ed share—except Ed's not there. Izzy is. Stede is somehow stuck in a world where Ed died and Izzy lived. As he struggles to get back to his real life, it becomes clear that things on the island are very different from what he first assumed....

Updates every Friday.

[A fic that, if the premise sounds cool-READ IT! It's a bit out there concept wise, but SO fun, and a great look at how Stede and Izzy interact in a 'do I want him' type of relationship. This fic has been my weekly bed time story, and I can't wait to see how the drama UNFOLDS!]