#Imagine a life without them and it's about fucking Peter

[cosmicsomethingorother]

Okay, stay with me on this. James Potter. As Taylor Swift. EXCEPT he thinks it's really funny to write love songs about his friends and watch his fans go crazy trying to figure out who it's about (Spoiler, they never get it). This has happened on every album. Here's the songs!

Debut:

Sirius - Tim McGraw

Peter - Mary's Song (Oh My My My)

Remus - Our Song

Fearless:

Sirius - Superstar

Peter - The Other Side Of The Door

Remus - Jump Then Fall

Speak Now

Sirius - Superman

Peter - Ours

Remus - Mine

Red:

Sirius - Starlight

Peter - Holy Ground

Remus - State Of Grace

1989:

Sirius - Style

Peter - This Love

Remus - I Know Places

Reputation:

Sirius - Call It What You Want

Peter - Dress

Remus - King If My Heart

Lover:

Sirius - I Think He Knows

Peter - London Boy

Remus - Paper Rings

Evermore:

Sirius - willow

Peter - 'tis the damn season

Remus - cowboy like me

Folklore:

Sirius - seven

Peter - august

Remus - cardigan

Midnights:

Sirius - Paris

Peter - Lavender Haze

Remus - Maroon

TTPD:

Sirius - Down Bad

Peter - I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)

Remus - But Daddy I Love Him

Yes, I did spend an hour or two thinking about this. James Fleamont Potter would think this is absolutely hilarious and would love the drama it would create. And sometimes he's not even dating anyone when the albums come out and everyone freaks out thinking he had some secret affair. James is cackling

[presidentkamala]

With the likes of that idiot named big balls still in the gov't and the rest of the current administration's bullshit, what is it going to take for you to see that the us is utterly lost? That no matter how many special or midterm elections the Democrats can secure, that the half of the voting population wanted this? That the very nature of these "citizens" are poised to choose the worst choice and not care about themselves and others? That the majority of the news outlets are more beholden to sensationalism than the truth? That peter thiel/putin finally can dictate republicans to destroy this country? That the fucking neo-confederates and neo-nazis finally conquered the us?

Ok. I'm getting ANOTHER wave of anons that are all Like This so im gonna answer this in good faith. Im not trying to be condescending here either - but I need you to do 2 things for me:

1) imagine saying this to any black or trans person working towards civil rights this country. Ask them when they'll get it through their thick skulls that there's no point and that the US is "utterly lost". Help them out by lifting the veil of illusion they've been operating under! It's pointless, right, they should just accept the white supremacist system that surrounds them. Tell a holocaust survivor in this country that the neo-nazis have "conquered" the US. And notice that if you did say this to them, you would sound just like the enemy.

2) Read some first-hand accounts, not just from the big events like wwii or the civil war, but from the long decades before and after, when people experienced entire lifetimes without getting free or seeing their visions come to life. Take the time to really connect with some of the longform accounting about what happed AFTER reconstruction, what it was like for medical professionals who were trying to understand the Spanish Flu, etc). I think the insanity & whiplash and intensity of our current moment makes it hard to look away, but hearing from other people acroes time isnt just soothing & personally comforting, but also extremely useful and vital to place yourself in a bigger and more popular movement.

as important as it is to be awake to our grim reality, ACCEPTING it now, when we're barely 6 months into this next term, is tantamount to capitulation, to me. You NEED to step back, re-assess your commitment to your values, and either decide that handing over the victory of your heart & mind to these scumbags is more comfortable than fighting back, OR buck the fuck up and sign up for something local that isnt a 2 hr symbolic protest outside a tesla dealership.

[firelilyfox]

One Phone-call Away (technically)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x female reader Summary: Bucky gets a call from his scared girlfriend Words: 400 (short one lol) Warnings: none really ... except for a spider being mentioned

________________________________________

His phone was ringing for the fifth time today and without even looking at the display Bucky knew who it was. 

„Hey sweetheart“, he chuckles, knowing that you’re bored and missed him just as much as he missed you. 

„I need help“, you gulped through the speaker. 

Bucky stiffened. „Whats wrong, doll? Are you hurt? Tell me now who is with you?“ 

„Spider!“ 

Confusion crossed his racing thoughts. „Like … that kid from Queens? Parker? Did he hurt you?!“ 

You squeaked loudly. „No! Not Peter. A SPIDER! In my room … it’s looking at me.“ 

The picture in Buckys head began to from. He could practically see you standing on a chair … or more like on your bed, wide eyed and a shoe in one hand. For defense, not attack obviously. 

He scratched the back of his neck, laughing. „Doll. What should I do about that little thing right now I can’t -…“ 

„It’s HUGE!“ 

Bucky put his hand on one hip, dropping his head. He knew that he was madly in love with you from the start but somehow this little lunatic conversation made him love you even more. „Okay, okay. But what do you want me to do about that HUGE spider?“ 

„Scare it away.“ Your voice dropped to a whisper. As if the spider knew she threatened it’s life and getting ready for a first strike. 

„Doll, I’m four states away.“ 

You screamed and Bucky imagined that the spider moved, just enough to scare the shit out of you. „That thing will eat me alive, Bucky! It’s the size of my fucking palm!“ 

„Alright. Alright! I’ll call someone to come for your aid because I can’t teleport myself over there.“ Bucky tried to suppress a chuckle but failed. 

You huffed offended. „You owe me Barnes. I am in life threatening danger and you make fun of me!“ 

„Got it. I’ll make it up to you, doll. Love ya.“ 

„I love you too. That might be the last words I’ve ever spoken, so remember them well!“ And you hung up. 

Bucky dialed another number. „I can’t believe I’m about to say this … but I need your help with something.“ 

„Oh yeah. Sure. Yes of course Mr. Barnes … I-I mean what do you need? Uhm, sir.“ Peter cleared his throat loudly and in the background chime the sounds of a video game voice. 

He swore to himself to never leave for a mission without you ever again. 

______________

Thanks for reading loves! <3 All interactions are highly appreciated 💙 (but please don’t copy my work)

Bucky Barnes Masterlist 🦾

[ivvyela]

imagine with me, if you will, a nwh potential fix-it involving none other than the multiverse saving duo deadpool and wolverine.

i know, i know - but please, let me cook.

wade and logan now jump across timelines to "fix" things aka travel the multiverse for funsies and deal with the consequences later and somehow end up in a universe where peter parker doesn't exist, but spider-man does. and wade, blessed with the power of "i know this for the plot", immediately knows that is bull. shit. and sure enough, they find one very depressed, very lonely, and very jaded peter parker.

after much annoyance, light stalking, and following spider-man while he's on patrol, they get peter to spill how he ended up in this situation. and after hearing everything, logan breaks the silence with a simple, yet effective: "shit, kid. that... shit."

"yeah, well... now you know, so you can, like, leave me alone."

"nope, not gonna happen." wade shakes his head and tactfully ignores logan's imploring look of what-the-fuck-are-you-getting-us-into-now "i take my job as marvel jesus very, very seriously, so frankly, this is my job to fix your sorry little life, buddy. and if flat-out telling them you exist didn't work, then - "

"oh, i actually... i never told them."

"...come again?"

"i tried to tell them, but i couldn't. so..."

"i'm sorry... your best friend and girlfriend were crying, telling you to come find them and remind them of you, and you chose not to?"

"they're happy and safe without me! i wasn't going to ruin - "

"oh my god. you sweet, self sacrificial, idiot spider-baby. okay! we can fix this! we're no tony stark, but consider us your pseudo daddies for the time being, kid. let's get you your life back."

which is how one very emotional and determined deadpool, followed by a stoic, nonchalant wolverine (who, in all honesty, probably should be completely against this, but once wade commits to something, he can't be talked out of it, and the sooner he gets his fix from this the sooner he can go home, so fuck it we ball), end up in a certain cafe, all up in a poor barista and her friend's face with a cut-out yearbook photo of some kid, yelling "LOOK AT HIM! LOOK AT THIS BOY! HE'S SO LONELY! LIKE A SMALL, FORLORN, VICTORIAN CHILD! REMEMBER HIM, GODDAMMIT!"

(their efforts result in two confused and scared teens, and getting kicked out of said cafe.)

peter practically begs them to just leave him alone, that this was his choice, and he's fine with it, but both wade and logan know a lie when they hear one. they both know what being alone can do to a person, and peter is just a kid who got dealt the shittiest cards in life and at this point, it just feels wrong to leave him here without trying to do something. and maybe they both have a small soft spot for the teen, so what?

and peter knows both men can see through his broody, teenage angst front he's been putting up since the spell, and he's tried so hard to hate the two of them, get them to hate him so they would leave, but they're not budging, so really, there's no point in trying to push them away, right?

and so, he lets them in. he learns that while logan is stoic and intense and kinda terrifying, he's also someone who just wants to do the right thing for the people he cares about. he's also lost people, and he blames himself, but he's come out on the other side. he would tell peter about his daughter, laura, who wouldn't let him wallow in self pity because she is good, better than he has ever been. he never saw himself as a father, but she's still around, so he must be doing alright.

and at first hearing it would result in a pang in his chest, memories of thai food after walking into a smoke-filled kitchen, assurances that things will work out when everything feels hopeless, a tombstone that can never convey everything she was, but now... it's nice to hear that logan still had someone after losing everyone.

so, peter listens to logan's stories. in return, peter tells logan all about his mom.

and wade was brash and loud and conceded and really, really annoying, but he's... no, that's it. he's all of those things, but in a weird way, it's like all those bad qualities merge together to make him a good guy. and yeah, he can walk away at any point, he has absolutely no obligation to help peter, but he does it anyway.

("nonono, don't you dare make me some selfless hero type, kid. i know for a fact that every deadpool has a peter. i'm doing this for the me in your world."

"you're... huh?"

"bottom line, i'm a selfish bastard. i'm doing this for me, 'kay?")

peter didn't fight it. he's had experience with seemingly self-absorbed, deflecting type heroes.

wade doesn't replace him, not even close, but... still.

maybe peter will never get back what he lost. but, for the first time, peter sees a light at the end of the tunnel. that, maybe, he can stop being just spider-man, and he can start being peter parker again, too.

(and if there's a barista talking to her friend about how it's weird that two guys would show up holding a photo of an odd customer from weeks ago, demanding they remember him, and despite not knowing him she felt something, and her friend couldn't help but agree, well... that's neither here nor there.)

[mrsdarkandyandere7]

Perfect Family

Pairing: Dark Peter Parker x (female) Reader

▶ This is a yandere/dark work and it may contain triggering content so please READ THE WARNINGS before. Do not read if minor.

More at Masterlist

SUMMARY: Peter knows you’re about to break up with him. So what’s the next logical step? Get you pregnant, obviously. 

WARNINGS: Babytrapping; Toxic relationship; Birth control Tampering. 

AN: Please, reblog and give me feedback.

--

Peter knows exactly what you’re planning, after all he knows everything about you. You’re his other half, his soulmate. 

That’s how he knows you’re planning to break up with him. When he found out through the messages you had been sending your best friend he couldn’t believe his eyes.

How could you ever want that? You love him, he’s sure of that. 

You’re always telling him you love him, before you leave for your college or when you’re about to go to bed. Even if it’s with a blank face, rushing the words out of your mouth before you walk away, without a sincere smile. 

He makes sure to keep an update on the messages, his heart practically skipping a beat when you reveal your plan to break-up after your first-year anniversary, just a few weeks away.  

Peter forces himself to remain calm and to act as if he knows nothing, keeping up with the caring boyfriend’s character. He can’t raise suspicion now.

If his plan works out, you won’t be going anywhere.

“I’m pregnant.” you declare with a shaky voice. Peter stops, the plate falling off his hold and crashing into the ground. 

“Peter, I’m so sorry. I-I don’t know how this happened, I swear I took the birth control pills every day, I never missed them!” you exclaim, twisting your hands in anxiety.

Peter looks at you, his face completely expressionless and you fear the worst. You drop your head, panic starting to grow stronger. Peter is going to hate you for ruining everything.

You’re about to ruin both of your futures, but his especially. He wants to go to MIT, not become a dad so soon. 

“I’m truly so sorry and I-” Peter runs to you, elevating you into the air and swirling around as he lets out loud chuckles. 

“I can’t believe I’m gonna be a dad. Fuck, that’s the best news ever.” he exclaims, carefully dropping you back onto your feet. You clean the tears with the back of your hand, a small hopeful feeling growing inside you as you look at him. He looks radiant, much happier than what you had predicted. 

“R-Really? You’re not mad at me?” you hesitantly ask. Peter fondly smiles at you, cupping your cheek. 

“I could never be mad at you for this. It takes two to make a baby. Besides, it was always part of our future plans, right?” he says, dropping the last sentence with a lightly sketchy tone as if he’s waiting for you to agree but you ignore it, it’s probably your imagination acting up.

You can’t be a single-mother, you already know you won’t be able to deal with it and your child deserves to have both its father and mother together in their life, it’s the least you can do.

You can’t abandon Peter anymore. 

You nod as Peter drops on the ground, pressing his head against your belly. Your hand instinctively goes to his head, caressing his brown hair and his hand comes to cover your own. 

“This is perfect.” Peter whispers, pressing kisses towards your belly, where your baby is developing. “You, me and our baby. A perfect family.” 

[dragonbarbie]

𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐆𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐌𝐄 𝐏𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐑 | Part 3

aegon x best friend!reader ; modern!au

summary: this fic is snippets of aegon and reader's relationship as they grow up and discover new feelings. but to let himself be loved, aegon has to first do some growing up.

rating: 18+, minors dni.

tags: alcohol, substance abuse, making out, finger fucking, handjob, praise kink, oh and soul-crushing angst :)

word count: 8.2k (i... dont even know what to say aegon makes me distracted)

previous part

series masterlist

A/N: things are finally getting spicey

lmk if you'd like to be added to the taglist!

divider credit @ cafekitsune! title of fic is from 'peter' by taylor swift.

Age 19

Sunspear wasn’t bad. In fact, Y/N loved it most days. The warm Dornish sun that kissed her skin every morning, the sea breeze that swept through the streets, and the vibrancy of the people made her feel alive. She’d made friends—good ones—and liked most of her classes. The city had charm, a warmth she didn’t expect, and a pace she could keep up with.

But somehow, since she’d moved here for college, everything felt a little hollow without Aegon. No matter how beautiful the sunsets were, how lively the city, or how many people surrounded her, there was a part of her that felt incomplete. Every holiday weekend, she looked forward to going back to King’s Landing just to hang out with him, only to be disappointed when he was off on some trip with his new friends, always busy with something or someone else.

Lately, though she’d found one distraction of her own: Qoren Martell. The kind, funny, downright hot boy she had been talking to for a while. At a party on campus one weekend, she had somehow ended up taking him back up to her dorm and hooking up with him. She didn’t know what she had expected his reaction to be the next morning, but when with a dashingly sunny smile he’d asked her for dinner, she couldn’t imagine turning him down. She was positively floating with excitement about the upcoming date, and there was no one else she wanted to gush about the new boy in her life to, than her best friend. The only problem was – Aegon had seemingly gone awol.

All day, Y/N’s phone sat on the table beside her, the screen flickering to life now and then with notifications. But none of them were from Aegon.

She tried to focus on her readings, flipping through textbooks, scribbling notes, and chatting with her friends between classes, but her mind kept wandering back to her phone. Each time it buzzed, her heart leapt with a flash of hope, only to come crashing down when it was just another random message or a social media update. No Aegon.

Her fingers hovered over his contact more times than she could count that day. She’d already sent him two texts in the morning: “Hey! Call me when you’re up :)” and “You alive?” Nothing. Hours passed, and she sent another, this time shorter, tinged with impatience: “You around?”

Still, no response.

She tried calling him, just to hear his voice, hoping he’d pick up. But after three rings, it went to voicemail, like it had so many times before. “It’s Aegon. Leave a message or don’t, whatever.” The tone of his message was casual, almost dismissive, but it felt like a punch to the gut. She hung up, biting back her frustration.

Why was he being like this? It wasn’t the first time he’d gone dark on her for days at a time, but it hadn’t always been this way. Before they had left for college, Aegon had been different — always around, always close. But now... It felt like he was slipping through her fingers, like the connection that had always felt unbreakable between them was fraying with every passing day.

Her texts and calls to him became more frequent as the day went on. “Where are you?” “Call me back.” “I need to talk to you.” Each one shorter, more pointed, as her frustration built up. It wasn’t like she was needy, or at least, that’s what she kept telling herself. It was just that today, she needed him. For once, she was the one with something important to share. Something that made her excited and nervous all at once. But Aegon was nowhere to be found.

Instead, she guessed, he was probably out with his new friends. Drinking. Partying. Having a great time without her. The thought twisted in her chest, leaving a sour taste in her mouth. She had seen the posts—pictures of him with a different crowd, new faces, girls, all of them smiling and laughing in places she’d never be invited to.

Aegon used to call her almost every night when they’d first gone to college. Even if it was just to chat, to vent, or to ask her what he should eat for dinner. But lately, those calls had become fewer and far between, replaced by half-hearted texts and vague replies. Sometimes he didn’t answer at all. He was always “busy,” or “with friends.” New friends. People she didn’t know, people he’d never mentioned before.

What was so important that he couldn’t even bother to text her back?

When she reached back to her dorm, Y/N threw her phone down on the bed, flopping beside it as her irritation simmered. She wanted to be angry at herself for caring so much. She had other things to focus on—classes, her friends here in Sunspear, the Martell boy who made her laugh. She was happy, or at least she should be. But Aegon’s silence gnawed at her, a constant reminder that something had shifted between them, and not in a good way.

She stared at the ceiling, her mind racing. It wasn’t like before when they’d talk for hours about nothing and everything when he made her feel like she was the only one who knew him. Now, it was like she was just another voice in the background, easily ignored.

The more she thought about it, the angrier she became. How could he just... Vanish like this? He knew how much they meant to each other—he had to know. And yet, here she was, alone in her room, clutching her phone like it was some lifeline, waiting for a message that might not even come.

The anger built up, flooding her veins with heat. For once, she had something to tell him, something important, and he couldn’t even bother to be there for her. And whenever he had something? Whenever he wanted to talk about his latest hobby, the new song he wrote or just whatever crazy thing the latest girl he had slept with had done after finding out he wanted nothing more to do with her – Y/N was there for him. Listening to him go on and on, on the phone, never once complaining or bored. This was how he repaid her? He was always unreachable now, off with people who seemed to be more interesting, more fun than she could ever be.

She stared at her phone again, jaw clenched, tapping her fingers against her thigh. Just one reply, she thought. One text and I’ll feel better.

But as the minutes ticked by, the screen stayed dark, and the weight of his absence grew heavier. Eventually, she got tired of staring at her lock screen and realised looking at the time that she should be getting dressed for her date, and put her ungrateful idiot of a best friend out of her mind.

Just as she gave up and stood up from her bed though, her phone rang. It was him.

For a split second, relief washed over her. Finally. But as soon as she answered, the irritation she’d been holding onto all day surged to the surface.

“Aegon, what the fuck? I’ve been trying to reach you all day” she snapped, pacing across her room. Her heart was pounding, both from anger and the desperation of needing to hear from him.

On the other end of the line, there was a moment of silence—long enough to make her pause, her breath catching. Then she heard it: the unmistakable sound of Aegon sobbing.

Her heart dropped.

“Aegon?” She whispered, her anger evaporating almost immediately. She could tell from the way he was struggling to breathe, from the hitch in his voice, that something was terribly wrong. “What’s going on?”

“They found out,” he choked out, his voice thick with tears. “My parents... They found out I’ve been missing assignments, failing classes. Everything. They’re so fucking pissed, Y/N. Mum said she won’t get them to pass me this time if I don’t come intern with grandfather this break. They—they threatened to take away my trust fund if I don’t pull it together.”

Y/N sank onto her bed, clutching the phone tighter, her anger dissolving into concern as she listened. Aegon was never like this. He was always so laid back, putting on the devil may care persona, always trying to stow away his vulnerability. But she knew, oh she always knew, the sensitive boy who hid underneath there. Hearing him this upset tugged at her heartstrings in a way that made her chest ache.

“I just... I don’t know what to do,” he continued, his voice raw, as though the words were being ripped out of him. “I hate it here. I’m fucking drowning in this place. It’s so dead, and fucking ancient and…and...” His breath hitched again. “It doesn’t even have you in it.”

Those words stopped her cold.

The burn of irritation she’d carried all day flickered out, replaced by a deep ache. She could almost see him, sitting somewhere alone, head in his hands, breaking apart at the seams. The Aegon who had been partying with new friends, drinking himself into oblivion, wasn’t here right now. This was the real Aegon—the broken boy who hated being left alone, who always needed to have someone hold him, keep him together. Someone, who was more often than not, her.

“Aegon... I’m so sorry.” Her voice was soft, barely above a whisper, “I didn’t know things were this bad.”

“It’s just... It’s all fucked up right now, and I can’t stand being here anymore. Everything’s falling apart. And I miss you. I fucking miss you so much.”

Y/N closed her eyes, her heart swelling with empathy. The way he said it—so vulnerable, so real—cut right through her. All the anger she’d built up over the day melted away. She couldn’t stay mad at him, not when he was hurting like this.

She wanted to say something, anything, to make it better. To tell him that it would be alright. But the words got caught in her throat. All she could do was sit there, holding onto the phone, her heart heavy with the weight of his pain.

She heard him sigh deeply on the other end, making her want to reach through the phone and pull him into a hug, to somehow make all of this disappear for him. But she couldn’t. She was hundreds of miles away, stuck in her own life.

When he’d finally gotten it all out of his system, the sobs quieted and his breathing evened out. It was like the storm had passed, leaving behind a hollow calm. “So, what did you wanna talk about?” He asked, his voice still rough, but lighter now, almost as if he’d forgotten his own sadness for a moment.

Y/N blinked, startled by the question. For a second, she’d forgotten, too. Then her eyes flicked down to her phone, and she saw the text notification from her date—“Leaving now, see you soon.”

She hesitated, staring at the message. It would’ve been so easy to tell Aegon the truth, to share the excitement she’d felt earlier. But now, after everything he’d just said, it felt wrong. Like rubbing salt in an open wound. She couldn’t just hang up and go about her night, no. Aegon needed her. And nothing, nothing, could ever come before Aegon for her.

She sighed and started typing out an excuse to Qoren, her fingers moving quickly as she lied into the phone without hesitation. “I was thinking about taking scuba lessons while I’m down here, thoughts?”

There was a pause, and then Aegon snorted. “And prayers. You don’t even know how to swim.”

“I do know how to swim!” She protested, rolling her eyes even though he couldn’t see it, smiling despite herself. “No, you don’t. You’ve always refused to swim with me in the pool back home. You just sit outside with a stupid book every summer.” “Because last time I did come in, you perved at me in my bikini,” she shot back, laughing.

“Oh right,” he said, his tone lighter now, teasing. She could almost hear the cocky grin in his voice. “That coral blue thing, right? Great memory. I can still recall it... Clinging to you in all the right places…”

“Aegon!” She shouted, laughing harder now as he started going into details.

“What? I’m just saying, it was a good look on you. A really, really good look.”

“God, you’re impossible,” she muttered, but there was no anger in her voice now, just warmth as she fell back onto her bed, the weight of the day lifting just a little.

Age 20

Y/N stepped off the taxi into the cool night air, her heart racing with anticipation as she took in the grand spires of Oldtown College.

The trip was almost impulsive. After two years of living in different states and months of practically all their communication being restricted to texting once a week, Y/N decided enough was enough. She had this long weekend free and she asked him what he thought about her coming to visit. He replied “HELLLZ YEA$” and “well get shitfacedd,” which she took as a yes.

She had spent the past few hours imagining his reaction when he saw her, thinking about how much she had missed him. This sudden visit was supposed to be special, a weekend just for them. She was not going to let anything ruin this.

She adjusted the strap of the bag on her shoulder and made her way through the sprawling campus. Everything looked so medieval and stunning, almost imposingly so at times; as if the history of this place was larger than life. She made a mental note to make Aegon properly show her around. But the directions Aegon had given her seemed to take her away from the scenic, old city and out to the outskirts.

She ended up at a large, slightly rundown house, clearly a fraternity. She hesitated at the entrance, the open door spilling the sound of music and laughter out into the night. There was a crowd out on the lawn, and from what she could hear, one inside the building too. She glanced down at her phone to recheck the address, pulling at the helm of the denim skirt she wore in nervousness as she looked around the crowd, but she was pretty sure if the smell of weed and alcohol was anything to go by this place was Aegon’s.

Taking a deep breath, she walked up the front porch steps and inside the house, stepping into a chaotic scene of students, red solo cups in hand, grinding to loud music she couldn’t make out the words to.

“Aegon?” She called out, her voice barely audible over the noise. The sea of unfamiliar faces made her nervous, and she started fidgeting with the strap of her carry-on as she anxiously scanned the place for familiar mop of platinum-blonde hair.

“There she is!” Y/N was startled as two arms suddenly wrapped around her from her side, but she relaxed immediately seeing their owner. “oh thank god, I was half scared you’d forgotten I was showing up today” she chuckled, as she shifted to hug him properly. “are you kidding? It’s all I’ve been talking about all week, ask any of the guys.” She felt an immediate sense of relief, once Aegon was with her, hugging him felt as familiar as her room back home. He smelled exactly as she remembered – the same almost sweet-smelling cologne he’d worn since he was 15, the one she had gifted him, mixed with a strong hint of weed and ash. His arms around her felt the same as they did two years ago too, pressing her impossibly close to his chest as if he couldn’t quite trust her to stay.

When she pulled back from him, he wore one of his lazy smiles, but there was something off in his eyes that made her frown slightly. She realised the bags underneath his eyes were darker and he was sweating all over. Okay, maybe it wasn’t all familiar. “you okay?” She searched his face, but he reflected nothing other than his usual impishness, though his eyes felt unusually blank to her. “you’re here I’m more than a-okay, I’m great. Now this party can finally start!” Looking around Y/N wondered if this was the party before it had even started then she didn’t want to stick around to watch it ‘begin.’

“let’s grab you a drink” Aegon took hold of her wrist and started to pull her into the party, but she grabbed she forearm with her free hand to stop him. “I’ve just been on one long train ride, then a taxi, I think I’d rather freshen up first. Can we go to my hotel? Were you able to book that cute, old B&B, the Tower Inn, I asked you to?”

He scratched the back of his neck, glancing at the ground as his grin faltered. “Oh, right… about that… I, uh, forgot.” He winced slightly, but before she could respond, he quickly added, “But it’s fine, you can stay here at the frat! We’ve got plenty of space.”

Y/N’s smile wavered. “Stay here? Aegon, I don’t know if that’s—”

“Hey, it’ll be fun!” Aegon interrupted, grabbing her shoulders with his grin back in full force. His eyes fell on the bag she was carrying and he took it off her, “and anyway you can’t leave, I’ve thrown this party in your honour, after all.” He walked a few steps into a hallway to his left, opening the first door, a door she hoped opened into his room and not some random person’s as he threw her bag in there, unceremoniously. “Plus, it’s just for a weekend. What’s the worst that could happen?”

There were in fact many answers she could think to that question, knowing Aegon. Before she could tell him that this wasn’t how she had imagined their weekend together though, he’d grabbed her hand and was already pulling her deeper into the crowd.

He thrust into her hand a solo cup which smelled so strong Y/N wanted to keep it at arm’s length. He then went about introducing her to his frat brothers and friends as enthusiastically as possible, but he wouldn’t let her linger with any one of them. He moved through the room with such easy confidence, Y/N was reminded of why all the girls back at school found his ways charming instead of irritating as she often did. Y/N didn’t have as easy a time at the party though. The room was a whirl of noise and energy, and as much as she tried to immerse herself in it, she couldn’t shake the feeling of being out of place.

After a while, Aegon started to get distracted, his attention repeatedly drifting away from Y/N. First, it was a group of his frat brothers who pulled him into a conversation about some upcoming trip. Then, he got roped into a drinking game, which somehow left him with his shirt off. Y/N tried to pull him aside, fitting him his shirt as she attempted to talk to him about how things had been going for her at college. He seemed to be simply nodding to what she was saying, as he patted his pockets to find something. When his pockets turned up empty, he made an excuse and rushed away to the bathroom. Y/N could only stand there blinking at the place which was previously occupied by him.

Upon his return, she observed there was an extra pep in his step, he seemed to be bursting with energy even more than usual. His words came out rushed, and his eyes were unfocused, even when he was talking to Y/N she had the distinct feeling he wasn’t really listening. It didn’t take long for her to figure out what exactly had changed from the last time she’d seen him.

She tried to stay close to him, but every time she turned around, he was off again, engaged in some new activity or laughing with another group of friends. Eventually, Y/N found herself sipping a suspicious soda she found in the fridge, forcing smiles whenever someone glanced her way, but inside, she was starting to feel more like a spectator than a guest of honour.

From where she stood on the sidelines, her eyes followed Aegon’s figure around the room, the feeling that this weekend might have been a mistake now sinking in. All she’d wanted was for it to be like old times for just one weekend, just the two of them hanging around like they did back in school. She was starting to realise that maybe Aegon wasn’t the same person he was back in school anymore.

Aegon, now deep into his drinks, seemed completely at ease, blending into the chaos around him. But every time Y/N caught his eye, he would flash her a quick smile, as if that would somehow make up for his absence. She didn’t know what she was supposed to do, other than stand all alone by the edge of the room, feeling increasingly invisible.

She was lost in her thoughts when a tall guy with a sleazy smirk approached her. He was holding a half-empty beer and leaned in too close for comfort. “Hey there,” he said smoothly, a little too smoothly, his eyes roving over her in a way that made her skin crawl. “You look like you could use some company.”

Y/N stiffened, glancing around the room for Aegon, but he was nowhere in sight. “I’m fine, thanks,” she replied, trying to keep her voice steady and polite, but the guy didn’t take the hint. He stepped closer, his grin widening as he reached out to touch her arm.

“Come on, don’t be like that,” he coaxed, his tone dripping with false charm. “Let me get you a real drink. You’re too pretty to be standing here all by yourself.”

Before she could respond, she felt a familiar arm sling around her shoulders, pulling her close in a protective, yet slightly possessive, gesture. “ah! there you are Y/N, I see you’ve found our resident creep Walder” Aegon’s voice cut through the tension, slurred and slightly rough, but still carrying enough authority.

The guy’s eyes widened in recognition, his cocky demeanour instantly replaced with a more cautious one. “Oh, sorry, Egg,” he stammered, raising his hands in a mock surrender. “Didn’t know she was your girl.”

Aegon didn’t bother to correct him, his grip on Y/N’s shoulder tightening for a moment. Only when the other guy quickly slinked away into the crowd, did Aegon let his arm drop to his side, leaving Y/N standing there with a mixture of relief and irritation inside her.

She turned to Aegon, shrugging off the lingering sensation of his arm around her. “What was that about?” She demanded, her voice sharp, though she was trying to keep her emotions in check.

Aegon just shrugged, as he raised his beer to his lips. “he’s a dick,” he muttered before taking a long swig, his eyes already drifting back to the party as if nothing had happened.

Y/N’s frustration flared. “after freezing me out for most of the night you can’t just show up and act like some kind of knight in shining armour.”

Aegon rolled his eyes, clearly annoyed by her reaction. “he’s an ass, I just stepped in to handle it. Stop making a big deal out of nothing.”

“That’s the problem, Aegon!” She snapped, her voice rising with her anger. “You act like everything is just... Whatever. Like nothing matters! You didn’t even correct him when he assumed I was just... Just some girl with you for the night.”

“So what?” Aegon shot back, his irritation now matching hers. “What difference does it make? What does it matter what he thinks?”

“It matters to me!” Y/N shouted, her voice filled with the intensity of her emotions. “I came all this way to see you, and all you’ve done is ignore me and get drunk. Do you even care that I’m here?” “I don’t need this right now.” He muttered, looking around the room again as if searching for an escape.

Y/N felt a lump rise in her throat, the hurt overwhelming her. “oh, I’m sorry am I killing your buzz? Fine then,” she said, her voice trembling with barely contained tears. “I’m out of here.”

Without waiting for his response, she turned on her heel and stormed out of the room, her vision blurred by the tears she was desperately trying to hold back. She pushed her way through the crowd, ignoring the curious glances thrown her way, and made her way upstairs, locking herself in the first room she saw which turned out to be the bathroom.

She leaned against the door as she finally let the tears spill freely, sobs escaping her throat. She slid down to the floor, her head in her hands, the weight of the night crashing down on her. This wasn’t how she had imagined their reunion, not at all. It was supposed to be special, but instead, it was turning into a nightmare.

A few minutes passed before she heard a knock on the door. “Y/N?” Aegon’s voice was hesitant, still slurred but tinged with a mix of frustration and concern. “Come on, open up. I know you’re in there. Why are you being like this?”

She didn’t respond, trying to stifle her sobs lest he hear them. But the knocking persisted, followed by the sound of him leaning against the door. “Y/N, seriously, just let me in,” he mumbled, his tone softening slightly.

For a second he sounded so sincere, so much like her best friend, that she could almost forget that he was the reason she was crying on the bathroom floor in the first place.

She hesitated, but then stood and unlocked the door, opening it just enough to see him standing there. His usual confident demeanour had slipped slightly, replaced with a defeated look of annoyance as he leaned against the doorframe. “Why are you being such a Debbie downer?” He whined, stepping inside and closing the door behind him.

“I came all this way to see you and you’ve…” she repeated, her voice cracking as she wiped away the tears. She knew who her best friend was, she knew he had never been the guy to stick by her side all night, to ignore the world when she was around, to make her feel like she was the only person in the world he cared about. But the display of the night had set a new low bar, even for him.

“You always do this,” he muttered, his words slurring slightly as he swayed on his feet, his voice filled with annoyance. “You show up, and suddenly I’m supposed to drop everything, like nothing else matters. Well, I can’t! It’s a party, and I’m not going to babysit you all night.” He sounded so thoughtless and inconsiderate, his face looked so exhausted by the idea of having to be around her.

Her heart twisted at his words, enough anger to make her want to throw something at him flared up inside her and mixed with the sadness of being like a burden to him. “oh well, forgive me for thinking my best friend of ten fucking years would prioritise seeing me for one stupid weekend over attending one of his hundred parties” he looked positively offended at her words and shot, “I threw this one for you!” “Well, I didn’t ask for this!” She snapped back, her voice rising. “I just wanted to spend time with you, Aegon.” Though rage filled her, she should couldn’t help how her tone softened, when she added, “Is that so hard?”

He let out a sharp, exasperated breath, his eyes narrowing, though she could tell he was having a hard time focusing. She was now close enough in that suffocating bathroom to see the beads of sweat on his forehead and neck. His breathing seemed more rapid, she was sure she could hear his heartbeat if she honed in on the sound. This wasn’t the effect of just weed and alcohol, she knew how he reacted to those.

He rubbed his face with his fingers, before dragging them through his hair making them appear even more unruly. “It’s not about it being hard, Y/N. It’s just... Things get complicated with you. You come in with these expectations, and I’m just… I don’t know how to be what you want!” His frustration was clear, but she couldn’t understand what the hell he was so frustrated about.

“What expectations?” Y/N’s voice was incredulous, and confused at his words. Aegon opened his mouth to start to say something to her in response but then stopped midway. He turned around, his back now facing her as he rubbed his eyes, as if talking to her now was a strain on them.

Her anger bubbled over once again, “I just wanted you to act like you cared! Like maybe I wasn’t just some afterthought to you. But how can you even do that when you’re high out of your mind on coke.”

Aegon suddenly turned back to her at the accusation, looking defensive but taken aback. “Don’t start with that,” he shot back as he took a step towards her, his voice sharp despite the slurring. “I’m fine, Y/N. You don’t need to come in here and act like you know what’s best for me.”

“Fine? You call this fine?” Y/N’s voice cracked with a mix of anger and concern. She took a step towards him and grabbed his soaking wet t-shirt, “You’re sweating like this in a fully air-conditioned house, you keep going to the bathroom every five seconds like you ate some bad curry and your eyes are so unfocused you’ve barely looked at me this entire time.” Aegon in response looked less like an addict apprehended and more like a kid caught stealing from the cookie jar. He looked sheepish almost, his eyes looking away from her, but she caught some shame behind them. Were it anyone else giving him this lecture he would have laughed in their face, but the fact that it was her, it seemed to break through his confident façade.

Her gaze momentarily dropped from his eyes to his lips and she let out a dry, humourless laugh as she saw leftover vestiges of some white powder on his upper lip. She reached out with one hand to brush it aside, sighing sadly “I’m guessing this isn’t sugar.” She had a sudden realisation then how intimate the moment had become, they were standing only inches apart, with one of her hands still grabbing his shirt, the other cupping his face. He looked back at her with a vulnerability that left her feeling like her cheeks were on fire. He didn’t ask her for space, but she suddenly felt like she needed to be miles away from him.

“you know what, you’re right.” She let go of him and cleared her throat as she took a step back. “actually you don’t even need to be in here with me, I’m clearly keeping you from this rager of a party and probably some grade-a-quality coke.” The smell of sweat and smoke mixed in with whiskey and expensive cologne, the smell of Aegon, was getting too much for her when she stood this close to him. She tried to take a few more steps away, as much as the small place would allow when he suddenly grabbed her wrist and pulled her back.

“You don’t get to judge me. You think I don’t care? You think I don’t want to be with you?” She blinked back at his almost pitiful expression, eyes that seemed like they were seconds away from spilling tears. For a second she thought the emphasis with which he said the phrase ‘be with you’ he might not mean just the party, but she couldn’t be sure and the moment fleeted as he went on, “I’m doing my best, but I’m not going to change who I am just because you want something different!” his words spilling out faster than his brain could process them, his frustration mingling with the fog of intoxication.

“I’m not asking you to change who you are!” Y/N shot back, her voice rising in intensity. “I’m asking you to stop pretending like everything’s cool. You keep pushing me away, and then you act like it’s my fault.”

“Maybe it is your fault!” He accused with his voice rising enough to make Y/N flinch and take a step back, but he didn’t let go of her wrist and instead walked closer to her, backing them up till she was against the wall, trapped by him. “because this is what you do. You look at me with those big-big eyes, expecting me to be someone different, someone good, someone more like you. But I’m not you. And I can’t be.” He sounded so resigned, as if this was always how it was going to be, how he was going to be. And the fact that she wanted something better for him was nothing more than a distant, impossible dream. She noticed the tears welling in his eyes were now escaping and she had to do everything in her power to remain mad at him and not wipe them away. Though his tone was one of anger, his expression looked as if this pained him, as if he was cursed and she wasn’t understanding how doomed he was. “I can’t be who you need me to be. And maybe if you didn’t come in here expecting that, expecting everything to be perfect, we wouldn’t be having this fight!”

She scoffed at his words, “Perfect? I of all people would never expect perfect from you Aegon. And I’ve never said you need to be so. All I’ve ever wanted is for you to give a damn! About me, about yourself—about anything!”

They were close now, the space between them almost non-existent, their breaths coming fast and harsh. Aegon still held onto her wrist tight enough to hurt her, but she stared up at him almost defiantly. The air crackled with unresolved tension, the anger between them sparking like a live wire.

Aegon swayed slightly, his hands trembling as he struggled to keep his balance, his whole body tense with frustration. “You think I don’t give a damn?” He growled, his voice low and dangerous, though the slur was still there. “You think I don’t care?”

Before she could respond, Aegon pulled her toward him by the wrist he had been holding capture, with a force that was more clumsy than intentional. His lips crashed against hers in a kiss that was fierce and unyielding, all the pent-up anger and frustration pouring out in that single, desperate moment. It was a collision, an explosion of everything they hadn’t been able to say, their argument turning into something else entirely.

Y/N responded instinctively, her free hand gripping the front of his shirt as if to hold on, the intensity of the kiss taking her by surprise. The anger that had fuelled their fight was still there, but it was being channelled into something raw and primal, a release of all the emotions they had been bottling up. Aegon’s movements were uncoordinated, the kiss messy and driven by the haze of alcohol and drugs, but it was full of the desperate need to connect, to keep her so close to him that she could not leave. His tongue wasted no time in pushing past her lips, with little to no defence being put up by Y/N. As his tongue massaged hers, he finally let go of her wrist and instead reached to put his hands under her shirt, touching the soft skin of her bare lower back. Her own hands reached for his hair, fisting the pale blonde strands for dear life.

He broke the kiss only to travel to the side of her neck, making Y/N gasp with the ferocity with which he attached himself there. She felt the euphoric feeling of his soft lips against her sensitive skin interchange with him cutting at it with his teeth every once in a while, the whiplash of pleasure and pain making her moan. His hand then travelled to her legs, pulling them apart slightly by hooking his hand under her knee, before it trailed up her thigh, and then stopped.

He lifted his head from the crook of her neck, his expression hooded with lust. At him pulling back she became nervous momentarily and searched for any sign of hesitation or regret in him, but was relieved when she found none. All he said was, “Do you want me to stop?” The feeling of his thumb brushing up against her clothed core as his hand grabbed the flesh of her inner thigh, was so tantalising, so inviting, that she could barely get words out, instead just quickly shaking her head. That was all the confirmation he needed, as he caught her breath in his mouth once again closing the very little gap between them.

He had settled in between her thighs, and Y/N couldn’t help but buck her hips against his, with a desperate need to have him pressing against her. Aegon seemingly shared that need as he rubbed against her by pulled her parted thighs closer to his body which made her denim skirt ride up even higher, his lips never leaving hers to so much as breathe.

He shifted his hand to fully place it between her legs and the sudden manner in which he moved her panties aside, letting the air hit her exposed pussy made Y/N gasp into the kiss. Aegon’s finger were quickly rubbing at her button, making her yelp and break the kiss. “Aegon…” she threw her head back against the tilled wall of the bathroom at the feeling of him pressing down against her sensitive spot, his hand moving with vigour and impatience. He then moved his index finger from her clit to push through her folds, his thumb replacing it at the top. His finger curled up inside her in the most delicious way, his thumb never ceasing from massaging her nub. “look at you, dripping with just one finger.” Y/N might have felt more embarrassed by the overenthusiastic response her body had to Aegon, if her mind had the ability to focus on anything other than the feeling in her stomach that just wanted to be pushed further, to reach some conclusion. He seemed dissatisfied with her lack of a response, and pushed another finger in her without warning, making her grab his shoulder and hiss in pleasure.

“Tell me do you like this, like being finger-fucked in the bathroom like a dirty slut?” He cooed in her ear, “yes” she rasped out as her body squirmed from the stimulation. His fingers were working at a rapid speed, pounding into her cunt. Her juices had made the job easier for him, the sick sound of his fingers sliding in and out of her with ease was putting her over the edge. “and how does it feel, to be the dirty little whore getting taken in some fucking party?” Her chest was rising and falling with her quick shallow breaths, to the point that she barely registered his words, but she noticed when he suddenly stopped moving his fingers, holding still inside her. “I asked you how does it feel?” She whined in response, as she opened her eyes to look at him which allowed her to finally see his expression.

She didn’t know what she had expected Aegon to look like, but looking this… delicate, had certainly not been what she would have imagined. He looked almost expectant as if he needed her to tell him how good she felt, how good he was making her feel, how good he was. She reached out and cupped his face, replying with sincerity “Amazing.” The way his face lit up hearing that, she could have watched him forever. His fingers slowly began to start their movement again, “and who’s making you feel this way?” “you, you, you….only you.” She croaked out as she tried to rub herself against his fingers to increase the pace. Her hand reached out covering his hand with her own, trying to push his fingers deeper inside her in desperation which made him grin cockily. “such a needy little slut… all for me.” She could only whimper in response.

It seemed he had gotten his satisfactory answer, because he restarted his previous pace, making her bite down on her lip to silence her moans as she neared her end. “c’mon let me hear your pretty little cries, let me hear you scream” he goaded her as his assault on her folds reached its zenith and she came with a cry of his name.

She felt empty as he pulled his fingers out of her, only to push them against her lips in a silent command, which she readily obeyed. She parted her lips and licked his fingers clean, as he watched with bated breath, “such a good girl” he murmured.

As she finished she noticed the bulge he was now supporting, aroused from all the activity. “my turn” she panted. With unsteady hands she felt his length over the jeans, unbuttoning them and pushing them down with his underwear to reveal just how ready he was for her, precum leaking off his tip. Her eyes looked up at him for silent approval, as she wrapped her small hand around him. He merely reached out and placed one of her out-of-place hair strands behind her ear, looking on not only in anticipation but also in simple adoration of her. It made her heart beat faster, if that was even possible, as she started to tug at his length.

She felt nervous as she started, but the constant string of praise Aegon was whispering in her ear kept her going. She loved the reaction she could elicit from him, it gave her a high not unlike the one she got when he was pumping his fingers in and out of her. She watched as his face twisted in pleasure, as he had to place a hand on the wall behind her to keep himself upright, as he bit down on his lip with a soft sigh of “fuck.” She’d known him forever and yet, she couldn’t recall a moment that he looked more beautiful than he did in that moment – standing between her legs, her hand reached out to the space between them, squeezing his hard shaft. As he realised he was near completion, he harshly grabbed a hold of her waist and pressed her back to him in a rough kiss, making him come right there on her inner thigh.

He rested his forehead against hers, as they simply stilled for a moment. She could hear the music floating from the party raging outside the bathroom, which almost brought her back to reality. She wanted to say so many things to Aegon, wanted to discuss what this even meant, but she felt this dream was far too beautiful to be so rudely awoken from just yet. From the lack of words from Aegon, she guessed they were on the same page about this.

She glanced down as she felt him harden already against her soft thigh, and glanced back up at him. His expression remained glazed over, as he hummed in content against her skin. “you have no idea how badly I want to fuck you right now,” her mouth went dry at his admission. “what’s stopping you?” She boldly replied, a determination in her eyes.

“yeah?” A smile broke across his lips at her encouragement, “you want this?” “I want you.” She confirmed as she reached out and kissed him. He sucked her bottom lip into his mouth, his hand grabbing her breast through her shirt as he did. He then abruptly turned her around by the waist so she was facing the wall, taking her hands and placing them on either side of her for balance. She could feel him lift up her skirt and slowly drag her panties down her legs, till they were off of her, seeing him place them in his jeans’ back pocket out of the corner of her eye.

He lined up against her and she was waiting in anticipation for when he would fill her, when a knock on the door interrupted the moment suddenly. “Aegon?” In carried the voice of a girl attempting to shout through the door, “Walder said he saw you go in here. How long are you going to be, babe?”

Aegon cursed under his breath, rolling his eyes at the interruption and turning toward the door. “Be there in a minute!”

Without missing a beat, he turned back to her, trying to resume where they left off, hands slipping around her waist. “Looks like it’ll have to be a quickie.”

But the tension between them was starting to dissipate, replaced by a sinking feeling in Y/N’s chest. “‘Babe’?” She echoed softly, the realisation hitting her as she slowly asked, “Do you have a girlfriend?” Aegon rubbed his eyes as if the question was an irritating inconvenience. “Define girlfriend.”

“Oh my gods.” Reality came crashing down on her, as she turned around and shoved past him to put distance between them. She grabbed some tissues and started to clean up the mix of his and her own fluids running down her thighs, angry beyond belief and hurt beyond repair. She pulled her skirt down, and got ready to leave.

“Hey, what are you doing?” Aegon asked, bewildered, trying to reach for her again, but she stepped back, avoiding his touch. “just stay the fuck away from me!” She shouted at him. His expression looked confused, which made her even more angry. How could he possibly not get what a big fuck up this was on his part?

Y/N’s voice trembled, but the words spilt out like a dam breaking. “All this time we’ve been friends, I used to be so arrogant about how close we are. How I wasn’t like all the others. That I wasn’t just ‘one of your girls.’” Her chest heaved as she fought to keep her voice steady. “But you’ve proven me wrong, Aegon. You’ve proven that all you’ve ever thought of me is as just one more pretty thing to fuck.”

Aegon blinked, clearly taken aback, the weight of her words hanging heavy in the air between them. “Y/N, wait—”

But she was already turning away, her throat tight with unshed tears. The bathroom felt suffocating, the walls closing in on her, and she needed to escape, to get away from the mess she’d walked into.

She pushed the door open, the pounding bass of the party hitting her like a wave as she slipped out into the crowd. She ran to the room where she remembered Aegon throwing her things and grabbed her bag as she made her exit from the frat house.

Outside, the cool night air slapped her in the face, and the cold made her glad to have another sensation to focus on that wasn’t the hurt inside her chest. She stumbled down the steps, her vision blurred, as she started almost jogging on the pathway leading her away. She just wanted to put this place behind her, wanted to get as far away from Aegon as her feet could take her. Lost in her own thoughts she barely noticed the familiar voice calling out to her from a car that had stopped next to her on the road.

She turned around to see a boy with his overgrown curly hair at the wheel, the window of his car pulled down as he looked on with concern. She hadn’t seen him in a year or so but his identity was unmistakable to her, “Jace?” She vaguely remembers Aegon telling her with much annoyance that his nephew had joined him at Oldtown this term.

“You alright?” He looked at her with sympathetic eyes and she had the distinct feeling that he knew the reason for her distress had to be his uncle. Y/N wiped hastily at her eyes, trying to pull herself together. “Yeah, I’m fine,” she lied, her voice barely a whisper. “just need to find a place to stay for tonight.”

“Hop in, let me give you a lift to a decent inn.” He kindly offered, a small, inviting smile on his face. She hesitated, her pride warring with the crushing need for comfort. She looked around and realised she didn’t have many options anyway. With a quiet nod, she accepted Jace’s offer and got in.

The car door clicked shut behind her as she sank into the seat “Thank you,” she softly muttered. He simply shrugged, “It’s no big deal. There’s this amazing place called the Tower Inn, just around the corner. It’s usually got room this time of year.” She couldn’t help but chuckle humourlessly at the mention of the place she had originally planned to be at, if all had gone to plan “Sounds good.”

[mrstellmeafuckingsecret]

can u pls tell the people your most traumatising sirius ships

i was going through a mental list of all the traumatizing sirius ships and that's just all of them i fear, so here's a handful of my current favs <3

sirius x walburga - she fucked him over. then, she fucked him ! she's possessive and overbearing and controlling, won't let him talk to any girls because it makes her sickk. she'll say it's because they aren't good enough for him and then go on to describe herself when talking about his wife. #1 most toxic, traumatizing relationship ever haunted him till the day he died.

sirius x james - codependent homoerotic best friendships have the most insane jealousy problems ever and james potter is NOT used to sharing, tails behind sirius 24/7 and he's sirius' entire concept of love soo. yeah. also i read pioneers and oh my god. also it just ruined his life like imagine getting dick SO GOOD you break out of prison and die for it.

(war time) sirius x peter - peter is playing this man like a fiddleee omg. ex situationship ended in marriage (hint: not with him), ex boyfriend is a nazi (according to him) and everyone he loves is dying PLUS he's being manipulated by the guy he settled for ??? peter is just 24/7 implying that sirius is Bad and sirius is like ykw yeah i suck and should prbly die

sirius x barty jr - is it even a traumatizing sirius ship post without a grimkiller mention? no, no it isn't. barty is everything and nothing to sirius he is good and bad and everything in between. barty's pathetic and weird and disgusting and sirius is like eww... wait hot. barty brings up his worst fears and humiliates him and hurts him and withholds food and information from him and makes him get off on it and sirius thinks I Deserve This.

sirius x barty SR - no because it's perfect. bcsr is kinder than walburga and orion but not so nice that sirius feels (completely) undeserving of it. he's constantly favoured over bcjr and praised and valued and loved and it's amazing for bcsr because he can literally make sirius do anything he wants in a moment. + sirius is being so used to favoured over bcjr (because he's competing as a son) that when bcsr goes to his wife instead of him (because he's now a competing with her too) sirius is tearing his hair out screaming crying throwing up

sirius x frank gallagher - this is a stand in for all the shitty guys sirius dated in and after hogwarts that were older, drunker, meaner than orion and with that also had very demeaning, d/s kinks with no aftercare, had a wife and kids sirius' age, talked about how much he'd like to screw other women in front of sirius, constantly criticized him. no one knows why sirius is dating him when all of his hot rich nice friends who would kill themselves for him are all pining over him.

sirius x minerva - completely totally one sided however it does take over his life for most of his time at hogwarts and he's going insane trying to get her approval and he's not even sure if it's just his mommy issues or a crush or what. doesn't study for anything but he'll stay up days to ace transfiguration so his hot older teacher will maybe smile at him and tell him he did a good job

sirius x regulus - guilt guilt guilt he 100% believes he's the one who brought regulus down with his lust and sin (it was all regulus' plan but shh he needed dick) and the self hatred and shame and sex repulsion and guilt and "im not just like them i'm worse"-ness is 📈📈

honorable mentions: sirius x pandora, sirius x evan, sirius x evan x barty, sirius x marlene, sirius x james x bellatrix

[timwhore]

step-son! peter parker x step-dad!reader - okay so bear with me but ! alternate universe where peter parents never die, but his parents divorce so for a bit of time, while the divorce go thru and everything related to it get done, he goes and life with his aunt and uncle, but the regular events happen ( his uncle dying and him becoming spider-man ). and as soon as he get used to him being spider-man, he goes back to living with one of his parent and,

he learn that he has now, as step-dad (you) ! he isn't exactly super happy about it, but he doesn't hate you from the get-go. he just feels weird around you, he's too old to act like a kid and despite you for 'remplacing' his real parent but he's too young to just, totally ignore you. after all he still is in college and is staying at his parent house - not the dorm, he of course considered that but living at your parent house while being both a uni student and a super hero was better.

so he just, tries his best to no be too awkward around you, which is hard. he quickly admitted to himself that you were - really fucking attractive. the time he accidentally saw you shirtless while getting out of the bathroom rewired his brain, and may have caused him to jerk off multiple time the same day.

since that day, everything was just so much more awkward, whenever he saw you, his mind started to go astray and he could imagine what you looked like, down there, he could wonder about how you were in bed, first when fucking his parent - then him.

he obviously couldn't face you, when whenever he saw you, he started getting hard, so for two weeks straight, he avoided you as much as he could, ignoring you whenever you were in his close vicinity.

but at some point you are feed up with this, you didn't expect to have the best father-son relationship with, well, your step-son but still, your relationship was so awkward but when you thought you advanced and manage to get him to be more comfortable with you, he suddenly pull back and just, isn't interacting willing with you. so logically you decide to confront him.

one day when he gets home from class, you wait for him in the corridor and force him to sit in front of you at the dinner table, and you ask him why he's been like this.

at first, peter tell you he doesn't see what you are talking about, faking being confused, but after a bit he reluctantly admit the real reason as to why he was acting so distant. you laugh and tell him it's nothing to be ashamed of. that being turned on by your step father is not big deal, after all you aren't blood related.

and then you get a bit more bold, and ask him if he was currently a boner because of you, to which peter simply nod, you get up from your seat and tell him to follow you to the couch. he is a bit confused as to why but he follows you without asking question.

you sit down on the couch and pat the spot next to you, for him to seat. once peter is seated, you start palming his erection and your own, all the while telling him that jerking off together is a pretty normal bonding exercise, telling him that when you were his age you used to do it pretty often with your friends.

by that point, peter is just a blushing mess, and probably has already cam from your hand alone, his hand makes his way toward your pant, get under it and your boxer to fish your dick out of them, he shyly start to jerk you off

[mrsfrecklesmarauders]

"Do you think it is odd to be this in love with someone?"

Sometimes, when Sirius spoke like that, Remus thought he was in a dream. So he pinched himself to reality, and he couldn't believe Sirius was between his arms. That they had had sex in a sweet way this time after their stupid discussion.

Sometimes, when Remus's heart raced like that, like it was about to explode out of his chest, he believed this was it. Sirius was the love of his life and he would never love someone like he loved him. Ever.

"Odd?" Remus asked softly, as he ran his fingers through Sirius's hair. He was so gorgeous with his hair messy like that.

"Like I feel l don't breathe properly when you are not around" Sirius explained, squeezing Remus's waist tighter.

"I feel the same" And he also felt like his chest burned and his heart jumped when Sirius was near "Why do you think it is odd?"

Sirius snorted "We are young, Moony. We are supposed to get out of this castle and live the life that is supposedely ahead of us, meet lots of people and have a lot of lovers before settling down..."

Remus unconciously clenched his jaw. "Are you saying that you want to meet other lovers? Are you so early breaking up with me?"

And he chuckled after, to show this was hurting him less that it was.

Sirius giggled cuddling closer "No! That's the point, Moony! I can't imagine loving anyone else, anyone more than you"

Remus smiled. If everyone could see how adorable his boyfriend was. He was so soft and romantic. Sirius acted like a rockstar, cold and badass but this was the real one. Remus also loved being the only one with access to this vulnerable version of him.

"So, don't ever leave me!" Remus said, practically begging. Pathetic, he was "Don't ever fall for anyone else"

"That's not what society wants from me..."

"Fuck Society!" Remus exclaimed, making Sirius laugh "Since when do you care about society?"

"I don't" Sirius turned to face him. God, he was so beautiful. Breathtaking even. How did Remus get so lucky? "I'm just scared of being too attached to you and then losing you" and as he said it, his eyes filled with tears "There's a war coming..."

Remus wiped the discreet tears that threathened to appear. There was a scary world out there. They had been living in a comfortable bubble of pranks, jokes and parties. But there were people dying out there. And Remus was a werewolf. If he survived enough, if he survived the war, there was nothing waiting for him. All of his friends had dreams for the future. He had nothing to hope for. Remus got depressed when he thought about it too much.

The only thing he could do was help Dumbledore locate Grayback and his pack. That had been the reason of his discussion with Sirius. Remus wanted to help. Sirius didn't want to let him.

"We're going to stick together, right?" Sirius asked, interrupting Remus's thoughts "You're going to love me forever, right?"

Remus caressed Sirius's cheek "Until the day I die" he swore because he was sure of it. He didn't care if he was young, a dumb teenager (actually off age now) in love. It was true. He couldn't imagine a universe when he didn't love Sirius Black "Even beyond"

Sirius smiled and kissed him softly.

"Please, God, Universe, whatever" he thought as they deepened the kiss "Don't take him away from me. I think I would die without him"

Their little snogging session was getting heated up again, when they were interrupted by a loud knock on the door.

"Are you done shagging or what?" James asked from the other side "I'm freezing out here"

"Bloody hell!" Peter added "Open up! We want to sleep"

Sirius and Remus giggled in complicity. Sirius, resting his head on Remus's shoulder.

"I can wait to move into our apartment and have time for ourselves..."

Remus's heart raced. He couldn't believe he was moving in with Sirius after school. His Sirius.

"Me too"

KNOCK KNOCK

"If you don't open up the door now, we are kicking it down!"

"We can't actually do that, Pete..."

"Shut up, I am threatening them..."

"Fucking hell!" Sirius groaned as he sat up "Coming!!"

Remus laughed "I'll open the door" he murmured to his boyfriend.

"Cheers, Moons"

James and Peter were still knocking desperately.

"Give me a kiss first" Remus said.

Sirius obeyed with a smile.

[r4spberry-vinaigrette]

i am pondering dialtown peter since i just did the roger dlc good end. warning in advance for roger dialtown dlc spoilers. cool? cool anyways

i just think like. okay the good ending cutscene with peter is kind of. abrupt. and confused people according to doggo and i can see why, it's... a bit weird in tone and isn't built up to as well as it could've been imo. no shade to the ending though the ending is fuckin AWESOME and that roger speech shook me to my core. however i think the peter intrusion can be reinterpreted to be really interesting with a bit of canon wiggle room, so to speak, because like --

imagine you are peter. you're the straight-laced, responsible co-manager of the factory, and you have been for a while. you know that you aren't easy to get along with and you don't really try to change this. it keeps things under wraps. it's all you can really do when everything around you is chaotic and wacky and you're so consistently left out of the loop. things are done without you being consulted. you feel like a joke so you have to prove you're the only thing that isn't. and really, it's your fault, in a way. you're the villain here for letting these things happen. you are to blame.

and then there's your best friend roger. you feel, sometimes, like he's the only person youre tangibly helping. you got him off of alcohol. you're always the one he leans on, always the one checking in. he is a good man. life has dealt him a bad hand, and people laugh at him sometimes, but you know he's good. he tries so hard. you wonder if maybe you aren't trying hard enough, but maybe your destiny is just to be this way. you don't think about it. he seems happy around you and that's enough, you suppose. and then management changes.

for all you know you are responsible, you also believe there is something rotten within you. something that will only weigh others down. you are able to be so very normal amidst the chaos of work, but you believe you can't be personable. you're too methodical, too straightforward, too managerial. and people want a person to talk to them, not a rigid machine. you look in the mirror and wonder how much of you is just the phone on your head. you look in the mirror and wonder who you are. but you can't fathom a good man like roger could look in the mirror and see anything but the sun. you trust him. you know he's a trainwreck, a mess, clumsy and irresponsible sometimes, but he's a good man. you know he can prove himself. maybe if you just keep at arms length, don't take over too much like you tried last time...

and things are a mess anyway. things are worse. and you begin to wonder if maybe you're the issue. if maybe your destiny is just to take over and rule with an iron fist, because that is the only way things can be done. this rot inside you, this thing that is clearly only making roger worse by your presence -- it must be killed at the source. so you have to play the game. you know what has to happen, don't you? you have to take over. and then everyone will be miserable, and roger will see how good he is, how much potential he has, and he will usurp you. he will be good. he will surprise everyone. and the rotten festering thing will be taken out, and he will never be dragged down again. because it must be you holding them back. you're the common denominator.

you're the villain.

peter doesn't understand that not being the boss is better for roger. he doesn't comprehend he is likable as a person moreso than he is a corporate entity, a responsible manager -- the only person he may believe likes him beyond that is caroline, and even then he has a fucking board discussion about if he should be allowed to act more than completely rational and reasonable, with a pros/cons list! yeah that's meant to be a jokey dialogue scene but i still think it reflects how peter tries so hard to be rational and reasonable and i think to some extent he believes that makes him less human. roger is so bright, of course he can surprise people and show them the sun! peter may be good at management but how far will that get him when surely nobody wants to directly associate with him? he is a menace.

he does not understand that roger cares so deeply for him, the same way roger doesn't understand people love him without him having to prove himself. idk. this is only half canon and its kinda text extrapolation and interpretation to fit w the ending scene but its an interesting thought

[httpwintersoldier]

『 do it for me, doll. || bucky barnes x reader 』

pairing: pornstar!Bucky x f!reader words: medium summary: when life gets hard after the Avenger's disbandment Bucky has to find a new occupation, and you find it too.

『 part 2 』 『 part 3 』

With the Avengers and S.H.I.E.L.D basically gone, the income of the remaining members was up to them entirely, and sadly, given Bucky's reputation and very recognizable appearance, many employers were reluctant or even scared to hire the man.

He had found some jobs, however he'd quickly get fired after complaints or after customers stopped showing up out of fear.

It was a tough life for Bucky, learning to live in this completely new world, while also being painted as a monster despite all of the heroic acts he had done over the years... It made living life almomst impossiblle.

However, he didn't understand. Peter had taught him how to use social media years prior, since he was tired of having people ask for his "@" and then laugh in his face when he didn't know what it was, and according to the people on said social medias, he was "a total DILF", "a 10/10" and "adorable". Bucky did have to ask for clarification on some terms, but after a while he got the gist of it, and appreciated the compliments. But why was it that he was so loved online yet so hated in real life?

The struggle in job searching ceased when someone bravely suggested that he should do porn. At first he was shocked, thinking it was rude for "BuckyInMe_69" to even suggest such a disrespectful thing, but then he began considering it.

Money and compliments in exchange for undressing? What was the worst that could happen? Harassment and constant disrespect? Bucky already got plenty of that on a daily basis without getting his cock out.

After considering it for several days, and trying to find any other job that would take him, the soldier said fuck it, and began researching about his new job. Where to go, where to start, what to do...

Bucky soon found out that he was an absolute natural. It was awkward at first, as he himself was quite an awkward person at times, but his naturally flirtatious personality and eagerness to be adored worked in his favour.

The only downside was the conversation he had with his co-worker-turned-friend Sam when the news reached his side.

"Bucky why are people sending me pictures of penises saying it's yours? Tell me this isn't your dick on my screen."

The soldier just laughed and told him it was payback for all of the Red Wing taunting.

He loved the money, but most of all he loved the compliments and appreciation. It was a nice contrast from all of the insults and judgement he got, and he felt like he could open up more and be himself on camera.

On the other end, you stared at a "Sign-Up!" screen on your computer, wondering if you were desperate for sexual gratification to the point of joining porn live streams. And the answer, as you soon found out, was yes. Yes you were.

After making the account your teeth played with your bottom lip as you searched through the plethora of options, when a certain someone caught your atention.

Was that... a metal arm? Were they cosplaying as Bucky Barnes? That would've been messed up... But as you brought the screen closer and squinted your eyes to look at the man on the thumbnail you realized it was actually THE Bucky Barnes. On a porn site. Livestreaming.

You clicked on his livestream (just out of curiousity, of course) and were instantly met with a view you could've only dreamed of.

Bucky was on a chair leaning back, his torso fully on display, tanned and shining, and his thighs just barely showing, covered with a pair of tight shorts that left little to the imagination.

He smiled and greeted everyone with the cutest voice, and for a second you forgot he was once a prominent assassin.

As luck would have it, he had just started streaming and there were very few people there, so, without thinking, you went ahead and booked a private session, before someone else "stole" him away and robbed you of the view.

Fuck. Shit. Fuck, dammit. It was only when Bucky raised his eyebrows and spoke that you realized what you had done.

"Wow, a session so soon, I didn't expect it! To the lovely fan that bought the session, I'll meet you in my private room, to the rest of you, I'll see you soon!"

With a click from his side, the screen turned into the thumbnail picture, with a white text on top that said "Private Session Time! I'll be back soon".

You stared at it for a while before realizing that he was waiting for you and you should probably join the session.

You took a deep breath (or several deep breaths) before joining your 20-minute session. You pressed the big golden button and the screen that once was locked, turned into an image of Bucky. The camera angle was lower, so now you could fully see his body from the head to the knees, and the shorts he wore were long gone, now replaced by a pair of tight grey boxers that perfectly showed the outline of his hard-on.

"Hey doll, how are ya?" He greeted, when he noticed the company had finally joined.

"Good, how are you?" You typed nervously.

You watched as his eyes moved to read the chat. Your thumb was in your mouth and you nervously bit your fingernail, anticipating the response.

"I'm doin' good princess. We got a shy one in our hands, do we? Are you gonna let me see you?" He questioned, his hand finding his crotch area.

You looked around, wondering if you should do it, and you just figured fuck it.

You placed the pc in front of you, a little farther away, so the camara would catch everything below your neck. You then knelt in front of the pc and turned it on.

You were shaking as you did so, but the way Bucky spoke, in such a gentle, soft yet sensual manner instantly put you at ease.

"You look gorgeous, doll."

Bucky stared at your hardened nipples, that were protruding in the very short nightgown you wore.

"Thank you."

The Soldier smirked, he could sense your nervousness from the quietness in your voice.

"Lean back for me doll, and spread your legs, I wanna see how wet you are."

You obeyed him, slowly stripping from your panties, and leaned against the headboard. You spread your legs, giving him full sight of your pussy.

When you looked at the screen he had rid himself of his underwear too, holding his hard shaft with his mechanical arm. The view was so hot and erotic you swore you could cum just at the view.

"You're so fuckin' pretty doll, can you touch yourself for me?"

Your hand sneaked down your body until your fingers found your clit and began slwoly rubbing circles.

"That's a good girl, I wanna hear how pretty you sound."

His pretty blue eyes were half shut, filled with lust as he began pumping his cock.

"You look... really good." You said, shyly.

That got a smile out of him and he brushed his hair back with his free hand.

"Yeah baby? You like to see me jerk off to you?"

"Yes... Yes, I love it." You admitted, your hand speeding up subconsciously.

"Why don't you finger yourself for me doll?"

You slowly inserted two fingers in, stealing a loud moan out of you.

Bucky's hand sped up at the sight and at the sound.

"Shit if you sound this good now, I can only imagine how you'd sound if I was inside you, fucking you until that pretty head of yours could only think of my cock."

Your head hit the backboard the second you heard those words, and your hand sped up.

"I wanna hear you too, please Bucky." You begged, and his cock twitched at the way you called his name

Grunts and whimpers instantly left his mouth, and his chest began heaving.

"You're doing so good... so good doll."

You added some speed to your hand and added another one, that circled your clit.

Bucky couldn't cum, since he still had a livestream to get back to after your session, but the sounds your fingers made fucking your own pussy made it hard for him not to say fuck it and cum for you.

"That's it princess, you sound so good right now, I wish I could fuck you until you couldn't move your legs anymore."

"Oh my- fuck! Bucky I'm gonna cum."

He smirked, as he could now slightly see your face, bottom lip trapped between your teeth and eyebrows furrowed with pleasure.

"That's it princess, cum for me. I wanna see you cum."

His words were like a command, and so you came in front of him, with a cry for his name, your legs shaking from the thrill of the experience.

The timer on Bucky's side signaling the session was over had rang about five minutes prior to your climax, but he was obsessed with you, and wanted to make you cum more than he wanted to go back to the live.

He hung out for a second, still stroking his cock, allowing you to catch your breath, before speaking up again.

"Alright doll, our time's up and I gotta get back, but I hope to see you here again." Bucky said, a playful smile on his lips, and an enchanting look in his eyes.

You covered yourself, suddenly feeling very exposed, causing the man to laugh inwardly.

"You might. You might..."

"I'm hoping I do princess."

Those were the last words you heard before he disconnected and went back to the live. You sat there, cathcing your breath still, and thinking about the past twety-something minutes.

How was it that the best sexual encounter you'd ever had was with a man that wasn't even in the room with you!?

A/N: if this pops off and people are interested I can make a part two!

[shmowder]

Could maybe also be a thing where a parent (his mother) pressured him to go into med school but also to be fair people are much different at 18 when they usually go into uni then they are at 29 so maybe at some point he was far more straight laced before deciding to say fuck it?

As bizarre as the idea of a straight-laced Andrey is, the theory does hold some merits.

That to a degree the twins followed their parents' design, up until a certian breaking point which caused both of them to severe their roots and go pave their own way in life, presented by Andrey dropping out and joining Peter in constructing all these crimes-against-humanity buildings that earned him the death penalty in multiple countries.

They never speak much of their parents, but from the way they describe the Mistresses—and especially Peter's dialogue—they hold a reverence for mother figures.

On the other hand, so does the whole town. Can't exactly attribute it to mommy issues with these many cases, but if it was actually a mother figure which fractured their minds, it would be poetic.

Take a look at their character design in P2.

Andrey's jacket shares clear resemblances to straitjackets, as if he's a runaway from a mental institution. The unbuckled cuffs and dangling straps showcase the restraints he broke free of. He was being suffocated by something once upon a time in his life, and now he wears its carcase on his back like a symbol of freedom.

While Peter's design seems to tell the same story in the opposite direction; he is attempting to suffocate himself. Where Andrey is seen breaking free, Peter is wrapping his coat around him like a cocoon, a one he overgrew long ago yet still latches onto, continously expanding it and making the garmet fit by adding more and more pieces of fabric.

As genius and gifted as Peter is, a family which is only one by name, wouldn't have given enough courtesy nor kindness to a mind as fragile as his. Maybe attempts to dampen his irregularities, to make him fit a better mould of what their society deems acceptable, and why can't you just be like your twin?

How certain families mistreat and pressure their autistic children, for reference.

A person doesn't grow hyper protective of his brother overnight, and for no reason. Something must have happened. Many things must have happened over long periods of time that resonated Andrey's belief that he needs to be there for Peter, because no one in this world would accept his twin, and by virtue, neither his own true self. He's just better at masking it, but maybe a world like this doesn't deserve the game of pretend.

In P1, you find these impressions about him:

Maria Kaina:

"I am quite fond of Andrey. The twins are the two sides of a single whole, but Andrey has the capability to execute Peter's fantasies and designs. He is resolute enough not only to admit the possibility of the impossible but also to implement it through persistent creative work. My uncle is quite capable of the former, too, but the latter. A personality like Andrey's deserves nothing but admiration."

Vlad the younger

"Without Andrey's boldness, Peter's vivid imagination would have only existed on paper. It's a shame that the duo is in decline right now, really. Peter is a habitual drinker, and Andrey wastes his life on debauchery and ruthless feasts. But dormant periods are common among creative people. They emerge from them carrying the prey of new discoveries in their teeth."

Peter's designs wouldn't exist without Andrey—or at least that's what the people claim. They'll just be sketches on paper, ideas left to rot in his mind, if a tree falls in the forest and all.

Andrey is the practice to his theory, the bridge connecting Peter to the world and the world to Peter. If you want to wax poetry, he is the umbilical cord in the womb that got made into Peter's twin.

So what is he? Just an appendage?

Well, no. Andrey's as much of a genius, he also has a gift, one that differs him from Peter. The Stamatins and the impossible go hand in hand. One can trap it, and the other tames it.

There is a catch, there must be. A motive deep inside Andrey known only to him, and unless we can crack his skull open and decode the neurons of his brain, then it will remain unkown to us. As players, we can only peer into the world through the protagonists' eyes, and as it stands today, none of our current catalysts of healers come close to knocking on the innerworkings of Andrey's mind, let alone heart.

We can clearly see why Peter needs Andrey, but why does Andrey need Peter?

Does he even need Peter?

Well... look at it this way: Why did Andrey end things with Eva?

Why does he seem incapable of letting go? He doesn't care if she finds a new love. He only cares that no one dares touch a single hair on her head. By Eva's dialogue to the Bachelor, she describes Andrey's treatment of her as condescending.

You can construct a narrative where Andrey and Eva really had something going on for a while, but he simply was never able to truly respect her or bridge the gap between them. He is incapable of not looking out for the few people he cares about, unable to accept that either Eva and Peter can function independently of him, or lead a smooth life without him watching their backs from far away.

And if that doesn't scream oldest sibling complex, I don't know what does.

In the Marbles Nest, Peter is dead, and Andrey's description reads: "Architect Andrey Stamatin is dead for as long as his brother is."

As for Peter, it could be interpreted that he is content with his death as long as the Polyhedron lives

Peter will live on through his dreams, Andrey won't.

To live and dream. Andrey's true gift is turning dreams into reality, at the cost of being incapable of dreaming himself. It was his twin who dreamt for him. In turn, it was Andrey who lived in his stead.

[funktobacillus]

OK so being once more premature about sporch as per usual, given i am going off but a mere handful of interactions at this point and therefore dipping into the realm of extrapolation and tea leaves. but with that crucial framing established, my current impression of the vibes:

peter at johnny

he likes bothering him and showing him up, in a way that is obviously antagonistic but also intended with a degree of playfulness that maybe doesn't come across as much as he thinks?

like, a clear part of the thrill and power rush of the spidey persona is the gratification in getting to be a filterless Pest. imagine. you're a picked on, put upon dweeb getting shit from All directions, but also now you get to mouth off to literally anyone you want, to either pay back every infraction against you or to at least Earn the unavoidable disdain this time by deliberately provoking it. (and also you're a teenager.)

and that's a delightful charm point: the utterly UNmagnanimous attitude (though not behavior, usually, because he's still a Good Hero Boy). that his immediate reaction to perceived slights is to go "ok :) fuck you forever :)" refreshing! (<- me probably reenacting the original reaction to spidey's debut)

(i love him)

anyway, the relevance of his grudge-nursing here is in the one he seems to still be nursing in johnny and the FF's general direction for "rejecting" each of his respective overtures to them. and again, he's a Good Hero Boy, so i don't think he fully, actually holds it against them (especially in the context of Hypothetical Necessary Superhero Teamups), but there is that lingering pettiness of "well, we could have been friendly, but they weren't, so fuck 'em, i'm not making this easy!"

but that's something too. that he wanted it to be friendly. he wanted allies. he wanted one single person who wouldn't mistrust him, or disparage him, or underestimate him. and did he get that? no. he got the FF being So Meanies by saying stuff like "why did you break into our house" and "we are functionally a non-profit organization" and johnny being So Meanies by saying stuff like "why are you breaking into my house" and OK some stuff that was genuinely Meanies but also it's not like johnny had the context to actually know about spider-man's good intentions.

and that's another thing. peter has definitely had more opportunities to see johnny's good side than vice versa. what with the whole Beloved Celebrity vs. Controversial Mysterious Rando thing, but also because ouch, i just realized ASM #3 was before strange tales annual #2. which means peter was going into a hopeful teamup with the guy who inspired him to keep being spider-man and instead was met with "fucka you, you showoff jerk and probably criminal!" yow! the sting!

it's also worth noting that at this point peter kind of does not have friends. he has, At Most, Liz Allan's Pity. (OK and also the affections of betty brant, but that clearly also has another layer to it going on, mee-yow.) so i think that makes johnny an inherently Potentialful figure in peter's life. Friend-Shaped, in the sense of being Shaped ideally to be his friend, because this is someone else who maybe gets it! someone else who gets what it's like to suddenly have these powers, this pressure, compounded by the preexisting pressures of being this age. the School-Life-Heroism balance of it all. (now if only he weren't such a big frigging jerk!)

plus i bet it's exciting on some level to have this guy he can openly roughhouse with without worrying about turning him into paste or getting connected to his other identity. like, in terms of that outlet, johnny has ben and probably reed he can tussle or do loop de loops with, but peter basically has. Various Of Animal-Themed Adult Men And Sand who want to Kill him.

so honestly with the sheer amount of hostility in peter's life, thrown both at and by him, i think it's possible, or at least funny to consider, that he is maybe not. quite tuned. to Acceptable Levels Of Being A Dick To Someone You Actually Want To Befriend. like, not that he's Trying to befriend johnny at this point, but he's got this Bantery Barb-Based Rapport established, and with this guy who just makes it so easy lol. can't wear your temper on your sleeve any harder than having that sleeve explode into flames.

and between that and just not being super familiar with johnny’s personality yet and operating on a default mode of filtering all his spidey interactions through Being Needling, plus everything else i outlined, there's this cocktail that basically amounts to I Must Be A Shit To This Guy, For Reasons.

well, that's on the highly extrapolate-y end of my thoughts, but if this Undersocialized Spider Gremlin interpretation isn't entirely me being tea leafy and bears out even a little bit, i think that'd be fun because it'd mean there's a facet to their dynamic that's like

peter: haha somewhat friendly ribbing, i am going to get a Passing Grade in Teenage Superhero Acquaintanceship

johnny: I Am Going To Kick This Guy's Ass

johnny at peter

genuinely kind of fucking pissed off by him lol. but like, in a way close to how he and ben genuinely piss each other off sometimes, if not exactly to that level of underlying fondness.

that is, he's definitely intrigued by spidey and knows that he is ultimately a Good Guy, but that is an awareness that is 1) reserved for Terminally Serious Situations and 2) buried under an outer nougaty crust of God, He's So Annoying. (the outermost coating on top of the nougat is, i dunno, Basic Denial or something.)

because it does come across to me that spider-man is, like, kind of more in johnny's craw than the other way around at this early point. which i'm basing partly on the general tenor of how they think about each other in strange tales #115.

peter: man, good thing sandman didn't murderize him. still a pain in the ass tho.

johnny: grr, spider-man, freaking spider-man [with "imminent wall punch" energy] freaking spider-jerk, grr!

but i think it also makes sense just taking into consideration, like with peter, what johnny sees of spider-man and how that factors into the other relationships in his life. i mean, he had a bad first impression (maybe one of the worst kinds to form on specifically a member of the FF?), and then a bad second impression informed by that first impression (even if it turned around into the germ of what i'm sure will be a beautiful friendship v_v), and now spidey's decided to follow it up with an awesome hat trick of his seemingly established approach by this point: showing up both randomly and uninvited, being a fighty dick, then fucking off.

then there's also how, in the way that johnny has more people around to receive positive attention from, peter has more people around to receive negative attention from. (proportionally, anyway. and discounting villains, since, y'know, obviously they both have those. superheroes.) that is, johnny has three other people who specifically Know what It's like (aside from the "treated like the tagalong kid" element) because they were literally there, so peter isn't as unique a potential source of Connection about that as johnny is for peter. (not to say spider-man doesn't still have Peer Appeal, especially in the department of getting brushed off as an impudent teen.)

and at the same time, johnny is accustomed to that (imperfect but still present) level of support and the general adoration of the masses and of most of the teens around him, so when someone DOESN'T act impressed by him, it stands out to him more than it does to peter "class pariah" "public menace" "shitbearer" parker who is, as established, dumped on 24/7 on all fronts of both halves of his life.

that's something made clear through dorrie evans, for example, and johnny's total befuddlement around her. she doesn't give a SHIT about the human torch?? which should maybe be flattering, and somewhat is, that she's interested in him beyond the flashy parts that everyone knows about, but also, like. this is his whole shit right now? being The Human Torch of The Fantastic Four is kind of an important part of his identity? he kind of works really hard at this and it's like one of his favorite things to do? and also how can she not think the human torch is cool as hell, he literally flies and shoots fire? he goes whoosh? he goes fwoosh kablam?

(i'm enjoying dorrie so far. humble that boy. keep him guessing.)

incidentally, it's interesting seeing how johnny's feelings on his own popularity has apparently shifted, since he used to seem more shy about the attention and secretive about his identity (unnecessarily lol), in a way that was somewhat surprising to me based on what little i knew about him before i started reading FF. it gives the impression that it took him some time to warm up (heh) to his new lifestyle, which is fitting with this era's more "realistic" approach to characters compared to previous superhero comics.

so i suppose from that we've got: a guy who's a little overwhelmed by his new powers and fame, but grows used to it, grows to enjoy it, to understand and embrace the role people expect of him. he likes being part of the fantastic four, and going on adventures, and helping people and saving the day. he likes using his powers, and therefore demonstrating them. and people like that about him, so he indulges them because he likes it too, he likes having these abilities. and it's not like he can help that their nature makes him one of the literally most visible members of the FF. he is, basically, by physiology a flashy guy.

but since The Spotlight is inseparably part of his skin now, i think so is the scrutiny. the scrutiny working its way under there, by eyes that are drawn to the flash even as they're blinded by it. more plainly, a clear thing that sets johnny off is being seen as "just" anything. just a hotheaded, know-nothing kid, rather than a full-fledged member of the fantastic four. just a reckless showoff, rather than someone who puts hours of time into this every day to be able to do his utmost, to keep topping his limits, to reach the heights of power but also control, the care needed to Be fire yet touch like he's not. i mean, considering this is like (OK, a fraction of) the power of the sun in the hands of a sixteen year old, the things he's managed to do with it are pretty damn impressive. (if not also silly at times, because: silver age comics.)

and then there's this freaking dickhead who doesn't appreciate any of that -_-

and he's also a costumed weirdo dickhead? who came and picked a fight with johnny's family? which is, like, dime a dozen, but still. what the hell. plus he's not even a villain, maybe, apparently? even though he's been nothing but a mysterious megadick? and alright, so he's on the level, he's still this hostile snob from out of nowhere, what does he know about heroism, who is HE to tell johnny off like he's stupid or incompetent, as if he's better than johnny at handling things, HE PROBABLY DOESN'T EVEN HAVE AN OBSTACLE COURSE.

it is really too bad for a guy who wants to be taken seriously that one of the main tools in spider-man's arsenal is Not Taking Anybody Seriously.

for real, spidey is all tude and flippancy and insults and zingers and johnny has no reason to know or consider that that's a front. there is no time or room to contemplate spider-man's insecurities when johnny is too busy getting led constantly into his own foible-shaped box-propped-up-by-a-stick known as Getting Looked Down On.

since i ventured into Pure Speculative Territory for peter's section and have been dipping into it again here, i'll finish this section off with some Even Further Dipping, More Like Outright Dunking:

johnny's surface level jealousy as a thing of competition and insecurity around (Not) Standing Out, getting edged out by another teen hero, because the less Special he is, the less reason people will have to care about him as an individual member of the FF? (eh, this is the most baseless thread)

but similarly, dissing spidey as an Arrogant Ego Boy -> a bit of projection or anxiety about how others perceive johnny? both in how it bothers him that spider-man talks down to him but also how johnny knows his own motives and that he's not just a showoff, i mean look at THIS guy, he can't be more of a showoff than THIS JERK

though at the same time, because of that awareness of the difference between interior intention and exterior perception, and of his own temper and bad impulses, maybe he does feel bad about his initial misgivings and misjudgment of spidey (even if spidey doesn't make it easy on account of his seeming allergy to acting sympathetically or to NOT BEING A DICK)

but all this speculation is probably wandering away from the simplest fact of the matter: spider-man is annoying as shit.

peter and johnny at each other

"man what a freaking prick. someone should take that guy down a peg. And That Someone Should Be Me."

another simple and obvious fuel for their spats is that they are both Angy guys. johnny in a thematically appropriate way, where he bursts and goes after whatever provoked (or stoked?) him. and peter with his Auto-Fuck-You-Parry to any injustice he receives, which seems to get stored up as resentment that boosts his Being A Little Shit meter. which then ticks off johnny and incites a hothead response from him, which triggers another Auto-Fuck-You-Parry from peter, and so they are set up to be in a snit forever.

this all also is not That deep, i say, at the end of like 2000 words to the contrary. in that there is already a definite mutual bare respect between them established by the end of strange tales annual #2, and Snarkily Ragging On Others is a standard form of communication for both these and other characters, on account of they are, um. marvel superheroes. (alcohol poisoning game: take a shot every time a character calls something "corny" or "cornball")

so i imagine the direction they are going—or maybe the shape of their trajectory, because i already have foreknowledge of the direction they are going (Friendship)—is they're going to continue having this bantery, squabbly dynamic, which will smooth out into roughly the same harsh words but spoken with an even more obviously jokey tone, and their fights will probably come to blows some more times, including in Actually Serious-ish ways, but they'll understand each other better afterwards, and eventually after more teamups and time spent knowing each other, they'll reach a point of being willing to admit they are friends. or something like that.

anyway, welp, this wound up with Quite a lot of Assertions for something that is, again, Squinting At The Vibes Of A Few 60s Comics. i have known the components of sporch for a couple dozen and maybe-a-dozen issues individually. this is So Very premature. i look forward to seeing how these impressions change as i get further in my readthrough.

i now end these less jokey impressions and return to my more jokey impressions:

peter: ughhhh fucking ass sandman fucking doc ock fucking vulture fucking flash fucking j jonah jameson oh shit hey it’s the human torch lol. lmao.

johnny: man why is it so hard having relationships with girls they're just impossible to connect with. Anyway Time To Go Throw Darts At A Picture Of Spider-Man's Face.

[spideyson-stuff]

Peter is stronger than me because if I heard the phrase "with great powers comes great responsibilitys" I would start screaming about how I didn't ask for either of them

Sooooooo, now i'm going to write about it, this is more focused on Toby's 2nd movie where he gives up being Spider-Man and then he has a dream with Ben telling him how he has to be a hero, I know he would never say that but I just thought about it and couldn't get it out of my head and I need to put it somewhere, sorry :⁠'⁠(

Ben: Peter, with great powers-

Peter: NO! NO NO NO DON'T COME WITH THIS CRAP OF "with great power comes great responsibility" YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE! YOU DON'T KNOW HOW HORRIBLE IT IS FOR ME!

Ben: But, Pete-

Peter: DON'T COME WITH THIS "Pete" SHIT! YOU ALL KEEP TELLING ME

HOW I SHOULD BE

WHO I SHOULD BE

AND HOW I SHOULD TO DO IT!

BUT GUESS WHAT? I DIDN'T ASK FOR >ANY< OF THIS!

Ben: That's the point Peter! You should-

Peter: SHUT UP YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!

Peter: All this time..., do you even know what it's like? you UNDERSTAND how I feel? because it's SO EASY to tell someone to do something without knowing what it's like!

Ben: You're being selfish Peter...

Peter: ME!? >I'M< BEING SELFISH??? all I've done so far is give my all to other people, my time, my strength, EVERYTHING but when I finally want something for MYSELF, I'm selfish?

Peter: Haven't I done enough??? I can't have a LIFE Ben, a stable job, friends, partner DAMN I don't even have time to sleep sometimes! and yet, I still haven't done enough!?...

Ben:...

Peter: I'm tired Uncle Ben, REALLY TIRED... and if dedicating myself to myself instead of throwing my life away for others is selfish so I'm going to be the most selfish person you've ever seen...

Ben: I... Peter I didn't think that-

Peter: Of course you didn't think, NOBODY THINKS, because everyone is only worried about what happens to them, not about the person they want to save them...

Peter: You know Ben, if I had ever imagined that being bitten by a spider would make me have to give up on myself to give myself to others... I would have wished that damn radioactive spider had killed me, and if it didn't, I would have finished the damn job...

Peter wakes up, his head hurts, his heart is heavy, maybe he shouldn't have said those things... but they were the truth, and an ugly truth is better than a beautiful lie...

[kingkat12]

I have had this idea for a fic forever but it's probably lame. What if witch!reader met Olivia Godfrey and could tell she was rotten. That she just had the worst intentions for everyone. So the reader spelled protection charms (like jewelry or trinkets) for Roman, Peter, Letha, Shelley, ect. to try to keep them safe?

now this... this is something I can work with lol, enjoy!!!<33

safe (roman godfrey x reader)

WARNINGS: none lol (can you believe it)

summary: when you get confronted with your boyfriend's mother, your existence is threatened. but no matter the dangers, love will always prevail; your love will always come first to you.

word count: 1,191

"So you're not going to tell me what happened?" Letha said, watching me with a worried look on her face. I could barely sit still, watching other students pass us by as I anxiously ripped at my nails, hoping our lunch break would never end. 

"Well, dinner with his family went well," I mumbled, making myself comfortable on the bench in the courtyard. "But I could just feel it in my bones that something was... wrong."

Letha put away her lunch, turning to me. "In what sense?"

"His mom-- Ow, fuck!" I hissed, realizing I had ripped too deep into a nail. I also didn't know how to explain this properly to Letha without giving away too much about my identity. "It's just this... This feeling I haven't sensed before. I can't put my finger on exactly what was wrong with her, but it was something dark, something ancient." 

"Okay..." Concerned, Letha put her hand on my shoulder. She obviously thought I sounded like I was having a manic episode, but Letha being who she was, she still found a way to approach me with kindness; "I hear you, and I get that meeting Roman's mom must've been quite intimidating for you... However, I still think you should answer his messages. He's going a bit crazy," 

I shouldn't. "I don't know," I breathed, reaching into my purse. I had spent the whole night trying to put some protective spells on a couple of rocks I had found in my backyard, having found nothing else. Finding a small, round rock, I handed it to Letha; "Keep this in your purse. Or in the front pocket of your jeans. Just... keep it close, okay?"

Understandably, Letha grimaced, taking the little rock into her hands. Judging by her facial expression, I realized I probably sounded absolutely insane. Still, she smiled back up at me with the same soft smile as always; "Uh... Thanks. It's very sweet of you to give me this... rock, but--"

"No, I'm not talking to Roman," I said, getting up from the bench. "I can't. I seriously can't." Having been born into ancient magic myself, I knew I couldn't get involved with anything as big as upirs without any backup. And currently, I didn't have any. After having been forced to move from one state to another because of a neighbouring witch-clan, I somehow found myself in Hemlock Grove, once again feeling remnants of something supernatural in the one guy I had somehow gotten feelings for. However, I had forced myself that I was just imagining it, that I was being paranoid, that upirs were just legends-- until I met his mother. I had sensed specks in Roman, but nothing compared to her.

Even worse, I knew Olivia Godfrey could definitely sense something in me as well, and that put everyone around me in danger. I had to protect them somehow, didn't I?

--

My locker slammed shut right in front of me just as I was about to take out my history book. I yelped, taking a startled step back as my eyes darted up at the culprit. 

Roman's big, green eyes were staring down at me with anger I hadn't seen in them before. It made me want to turn around and run for my life, save myself from whatever was about to come, but instead, I froze. I couldn't move, not even if I wanted to, as my eyes widened with a mix of both shock and fear.

Roman stepped forward, cornering me back up against my locker. "What's wrong with you?" he said, voice low. "You think you can just disappear on me like that?"

I succumbed to a slight tremble, at a loss for words. I knew a guy like Roman wouldn't take a situation like this lightly-- he had his pride to protect, after all. 

"You think that ignoring me for two days is okay?" he sneered, his eye twitching just slightly. "That's not how this works. You don't get to do that."

I held my breath-- he was right. My heart thumped hard in my chest as I pushed away all thoughts of how gorgeous he looked right now, his hair styled back as always, his pink, plush lips pursed in anger.  "I'm sorry," I breathed, not knowing what else to say. This was absolutely killing me; I was crazy about this guy. This was not how I wanted this to go down. 

"Seriously? That's all I get?" Groaning, Roman ran a hand through his hair, clearly frustrated with me. "The one time I take someone seriously, and you pull this crap on me?"

It felt like he was ripping my heart into hundreds of tiny pieces, the remnants scattering across the floor of the busy hallway. Roman had been the one good thing in my life since I left everything behind and moved-- I didn't want it to end like this. I didn't want it to end at all. 

I just didn't want to move again; I didn't want to have to never see him. In my mind, it would be better to break it off now and watch him bloom from afar, than to get myself deeper into the dark shit I knew would follow if Olivia found out her son had serious intentions with a fucking witch. I doubted that she wanted anyone foreign like that in her territory. 

"Roman, I..." With a sigh, I reached into my purse once more with a trembling hand, fishing out another protective stone. This was all I could do. I had to do something to protect him, didn't I? I was praying to all the Gods in the world that Olivia wouldn't find it in his pockets or anything along those lines, but I couldn't let him walk around unprotected with a creature like her roaming the halls of his own home. "Take this. Keep it close. I can't explain, but I need you to not let your mom find this."

With a huff, Roman took the rock into his hand, our fingertips touching during the exchange. If only we could stay here like this forever, touching, close-- but I knew fate wouldn't allow it.

"A rock? A fucking rock? And what does my mom have to do with this?--" Suddenly, he froze, eyes rounding out as he balled his hand around it. Something told me Roman could feel the spell, that he knew what it was and why I had given it to him, but I told myself that it was just my wishful thinking trying to soothe me. 

"I'm sorry I can't explain," I breathed, letting out a shaky breath. "You're wonderful. You're gentle, you're kind, and I... I just don't think we should be together. I don't think it would be good for us."

Roman stared down at me with an expression mixed with disbelief and shock. His hand clenched around the rock, slowly opening his palm to glance at it once more. "You... Wait, is this thing seriously what I think it is?--"

I frantically shook my head, stepping away from him. "It's nothing. Just stay safe. Please," He didn't need to know. It wasn't safe for him to know.

And I needed him to be safe.

[heyidkyay]

And I'm petrified of being alone, now |

Part Twelve

Matty Healy x reader

Summary: She’s just trying to get by, really. What with being a single parent to her four year old son whilst simultaneously trying to kick start a successful career as a radio presenter. She’s got everything she’s ever wanted though, friends close by, a mum who’s merely a phone call away, and of course her baby boy. What else is there to wish for? But then, it’s not long before her relatively normal life gets upended and turned on its head, and she’s suddenly forced to deal with situations she’s never even thought to imagine.

What happens when one mention of a certain controversial singer on her show sends a flood of unexpected challenges her way? 

Authors Note: This part took way too long to write. Had a bit of writers block ngl, but I managed to get it done last night when I couldn't sleep. Be prepared for a load of fluff but also some surprises. It's a good chapter, I enjoyed writing it once I finally got into it! But I'm also sorry for long wait! Hopefully the next will be along soon.

> Just a reminder! We left off on the red carpet with Mouse and Matty:) You can look back here if you'd like!

Masterlist

Mouse Updates! @/MOAMupdates 22m ago GFC Charity Event! The gals are currently live and interviewing The 1975! So far we’ve had Jamie Bell, Peter Capaldi, Dylan and Jordan Banjo! 2TIME @/user1 WHAT was that? 102 @/user2  chemistrychemistrychemistry Ugh! @/user3 SHE COOKED FOR HIM?? Soloveme? @/user4 What’s going on at this event?? It’s all over my feed😭 MILK @/user5 Screaming this is honestly all so mental Parisin75 @/user6 Wait so they’re friends now? Or is something else happening?? > Too_shy @/user7 Last time I checked but he seemed so happy on the carpet, and he wouldn’t look into the lens at all. His eyes were always focused just above it, either on Adi or Mouse! >> Drumonmepls @/user8 Couldn’t have been Adi!! She was to the left of Ross on and off screen!

***

It was days after the event that things seemed to finally settle again. For Matty, at least. Me? I was still getting the odd DM and tweet here and there, but I couldn’t complain, not with how it had been at the very start. Hordes upon hordes of people had come to make their opinions known on the stance of Matty and I’s ‘sudden’ friendship; fans had taken to both Twitter and Instagram, they’d called into the show, and a few had even turned up outside of the studio.

Matty had been helpful throughout it all though, mainly just finding ways to take my mind off of it and sending security down to the building just to ‘be on the safe side’. It’d been a nice gesture, sweet even. But had also meant that his management team had cracked down on him and the band, cooping the lot of them up in a recording studio and pressing them to finish up the album they were currently working on.

That in itself hadn’t affected me much, the whole Matty being distracted by work thing, because it had happened around about the same time that prep work for the Christmas period had kicked in. Which was basically a time where Adi and I focused on pre recording a few shows so that we could sail smoothly into the new year.

This year it had been hectic, to say the very least, but Finn had been a Godsend. Offering to pick up Teddy from nursery on the days when we were filming late and even keeping him occupied on the one weekend that we’d lost the previous day's audio- which had been a fucking nightmare.

Today though, was finally a day where I got some time to myself. Well, myself and Teddy, seeing as I’d completely and utterly missed him even with only having been gone a few extra hours in the day than usual. Still, the kid was my little ball of light and without him I’d be utterly lost.

“Alright there, Teds, what’re you drawing?”

It was a Sunday, the 17th to be precise, and so we only had a week and a bit left in the lead up to Christmas. I’d spent the morning wrapping most of Teddy’s presents before he’d woken and demanded sustenance- which, fair enough. But he was always a little moody whenever he first woke up. Bit like me, I suppose. And so, whilst I’d started cooking him his breakfast, I’d settled him down at the table with some paper and pens to keep him distracted, an old album by The Cranberries playing.

“Plane.” The toddler retorted easily enough, tongue poking out one side of his mouth in utmost concentration.

Grinning at the small action, I settled a cup of juice before him and then stroked a hand through his unruly hair. “Is that for mémé then?”

Teddy hummed, nodding his head at the odd angle it was resting at. I chuckled, always enamoured by his every little thing.

“That’s brilliant, bubs! I’m sure she’ll love it.” I assured him softly, trailing my fingers through his hair one last time before withdrawing to finish up with cooking.

“How many days?” Teddy asked once I’d plated everything up and taken my seat beside him at the table, immediately I knew what he was on about- seeing as he’d only asked the same question a dozen times a day since the last time we’d phoned my mum.

I pretended to think about it long and hard. “Um… about this many days.” I said, holding up six fingers.

Teddy’s brow instantly furrowed as he set about leaning as close as he could get over the tabletop to point towards each of my fingers. “One, two, three…”

“Six!”

I beamed once he’d finally got it, clapping along with him. “So good, you clever boy! Six- six days til mémé gets here!”

Teddy repeated the words in a breathy murmur, grinning gummily back at me as he wiggled in his chair. Then it was just “six” over and over again for a short while.

I tittered faintly to myself, shaking my head before we went about the rest of our breakfast in much the same manner.

It was almost ten to eleven when the doorbell went and I frowned at the thought of who it could possibly be.

“Mum, door.” Teddy informed me, still so invested in his colouring. I hummed softly in turn, wiping my hands before getting up to go answer it.

“Remember to put the lids back on.” I reminded him about the pens, tucking his hair behind his ear as I rounded his seat, “I’ll just be a sec, okay?”

“‘Kay.”

I smiled softly at his monosyllabic reply, listening to him mumble to himself as I padded my way into the hallway. From here I could just make out the darkened shadow standing on the other side of the door’s paned glass and flicked through a mental list of who it could possibly be, wondering if I'd forgotten anything that was supposed to be happening today. But I reckoned it could just as easily have been Finn dropping by for an impromptu visit, or Adi even.

Flicking the latch and pressing down on the handle, I opened it up only to blink at the figure that stood before me. They gifted me an impish grin as they pushed away from the door’s stoop and onto steady feet.

“Figured I’d just pop by, say hello.” Matty mentioned by way of hello, fiddling with an unlit cigarette he held between his fingers whilst I continued to stare back in surprise, “Studio’s been booked for the day, so I managed an easy escape.” He added when I made no move to reply, “Thought we could grab a coffee or something- if you ain't busy, that is.”

He tacked that last bit on in a rush, as though he was beginning to understand why I was so silent. He’d really, really caught me off guard here.

“Er, I mean it’s a bit out of the blue and that. Should've really texted, I know. But I figured I'd try my luck.” He blundered again, shifting awkwardly on my front step now, looking enough out of place for it to finally blink me out of my stupor.

“I-” I went to say but was ultimately interrupted by another voice from further inside the flat, one that was approaching on toddling feet all too fast for me to react to its sudden presence.

Matty’s eyes bulged a tad at the little face that poked its way out from behind my knees, and mine followed when it finally hit me what was actually happening. 

“God, sorry! You just- it’s- I just wasn’t expecting you.” I fumbled, arms reaching down on impulse to pick up the toddler by my feet. I forced out a heavy breath before plastering on a big smile for Teddy, who only seemed to have eyes for the curly haired man staring back at him. “Um, you wanting to come in then? I can do tea, I think. Coffee, even.”

I didn’t really give Matty much of a choice in the matter though, in truth, because I was sailing away to escape the sudden scenario that had started on my doorstep, simply so that I could wrap my head around it all. It was just as I made it back into the kitchen that I heard the door rattle close behind us though and then, as I'd perched Teddy back in his seat, I glanced up to find that Matty had in fact accepted the offer of a warm brew.

It was strange to watch it all fall into place for him, his eyes straying over toys that littered the livingroom floor, the tiny bike which sat in the corner, the star-chart that hung on the cupboard above the fridge, all of Teddy’s artwork and clothes that had been thrown about haphazardly over the last day or two.

I swallowed around my anxiety then, not really sure how I felt now that I knew that Matty finally knew. Because see, I had never really been sure. Teddy wasn’t much of a well kept secret amongst my longtime listeners but I didn’t go flaunting pictures around or mentioning him at every turn. For safety reasons and privacy’s sake. So I hadn't been too certain on whether Matty knew of him or not, having noticed that he’d failed to ever mention him in our texts or calls.

“Um, sorry for the mess. Work’s been a nightmare, and this is my first proper day off in weeks, you know? So." I shrugged a little helplessly, looking out at all of the chaos, then decided to pull on my big girl trousers and trek through this mess like I did everything else in life. “Tea, then? Or coffee?”

The small cough that escaped Matty’s throat echoed around the room once he’d found purchase in the kitchen’s entryway and his voice was tinged with a slight rasp when he finally spoke, “Yeah, uh yeah, please. Coffee.”

I smiled mostly to myself as I turned away to refill the kettle, my mind still whirling but finding relief in Matty’s obvious shock too. Whilst it began to boil though I had nothing much to occupy my mind with, so I decided to putter back on over to the table where Teds had started back up with his drawing and attempted to relax my shoulders. 

“Go on, sit down,” I said to Matty, pointing to a chair as I tried to steer us back into easier waters, “Feel lucky you just missed breakfast, this one tends to get it everywhere.” I chuckled lightly in hopes to fill the quiet I was met with.

Teddy glanced up at me then with a prominent pout, obviously not too pleased about my comment.  “No.” He argued and I heard Matty snort as he finally took a seat opposite, leaving Teddy to act as the buffer between us both.

“Uh, yes.” I fired back at the toddler, but little good it did me when Teddy only seemed to maintain his avid disagreement. 

“Uhuh. I eat it all today.” He reminded me, lips pushed out as his brows climbed higher up his forehead, leaning against the table’s edge again on his elbows. “See?” He added on, pointing a finger over towards where a sink full of soapy dishes now laid.

I smiled, unable to do anything but, though it was Matty who actually replied to him, which both surprised me and put me on immediate edge. “I mean, the little guys got a point. If you ate it all then there can’t be any mess, right?” He directed that last bit towards the little rugrat attempting to evade all guilt and I paused in wait to see how Teddy would respond.

Teddy appeared wary for a moment, blinking over at Matty in a startle, probably having not expected to be roped into a conversation, before his lips settled into something more like a grin. “Right!” He mimicked with a short nod of his head, his ‘r’ sounding more like a ‘w’.

Matty all but beamed at the sudden attention he’d drawn and continued to do so once Teddy started prattling away to him at a hundred miles an hour. I just left them to it, listening in as I padded back over to finish making the drinks. 

It was only after Matty had just about knocked back most of his coffee that Teddy grew tired of talking and asked if we could do something fun, eyes drifting over towards where we often kept his wellies. I knew just what fun he was looking to find.

I conceded easily enough, seeing as it was both his day as well as mine, and smiled with a gesture of my chin, “Go on then, but brush your teeth and find some proper clothes, then we can head on over. Alright?”

Teddy’s head shook up and down in rapid succession, already bolting up out of his seat to make a run for his bedroom. Matty wore an inquisitive look once it was just him and I, both of us sat on opposite sides of the table.

“The park.” I informed the singer, fiddling with the handle of my now empty mug whilst my eyes kept sliding back and forth from the counter to Matty himself.

The man simply hummed and leaned back in his seat, I was forced to watch on as he cast his eyes about the rest of my kitchen, taking his fill now that he had a moment to finally do so. I swallowed and struggled with the unforeseen worries of what he might see, what he might think of it all.

I wasn't well off, by any means. But I had a decent income, enough to provide for Teddy and I, as well as live comfortably. Though if the radio show suddenly dipped and we lost most of our viewing, then there’d be a whole different story to be told.

Even so, it was a much different life to the one Matty lived. That much I knew. So it wasn't too strange of me to wonder whether or not it met any of his standards. And how it alone made me feel.

“How old then?”

The question startled me somewhat, enough that I blinked and looked up at him without thought. My brows furrowed a tad and so he continued, “Teddy- was that it?” And at my nod of confirmation, he smiled at me for another answer, “How old is he?”

Caught off guard still, I gaped for a second and then forced myself to reply, “Um, four, he’ll be five soon enough.”

“Wow.” Was what Matty replied with in a soft murmur, his head moving in an ever so slight nod, “A good age though.” At my questioning look, he chuckled, “Or so I’ve been told.”

I hummed, mostly amused, then fiddled with one of the many pens Teddy had left behind at the table.

“They’ve all been good so far- the ages.” I said to him, rather stupidly, and grimaced around a low laugh at myself, “Just, I mean he’s a good kid, is all.”

Matty was smiling at me when I glanced back up, his eyes squinting with the strength of it. He knocked his fist on the table lightly, “Seems it. Just wish you’dve mentioned him sooner.”

I frowned at that, lips pursing as my nose wrinkled. I didn’t much like the way he’d phrased that last bit, because it’s not that I wasn’t proud of Teddy, I was always showing him off, constantly even. But I also didn’t feel as though everyone had the right to see to that. “Yeah, well he’s not a secret I’ve kept hidden. It’s just safer mostly.”

It was Matty’s turn to frown then, seemingly offended by the offhand remark. “What and that includes me, does it? You think that I’d be a danger to him?”

I stared back at him, brow dipped a tad, eyes squinted. Because I hadn’t meant to hurt him, far from, though could he really blame me for being cautious, for having wanted to keep Teddy away for as long as I had? 

“No,” I answered him, and it was an honest one, “But only now, after having known you as long as I have. I mean, you can’t really be surprised by the fact that I didn’t mention him in the beginning, Matty. I hardly knew you! I’d only ever had the picture that’d been painted of you in my head, I didn’t want that around him.”

He scoffed quietly at that and I heard the way his boot kicked out under the table as he shuffled further back in his chair to run a hand through his hair. “Yeah and what about now then?”

He had me there, I supposed. I sighed and raised a hand to rub at my tired eyes, this wasn't a conversation I had planned for yet, let alone on a morning like this.

“It’s hard, okay? It’s hard to know when to introduce him to new people, he’s only ever really known those closest to me, and after that it’s just been his nursery teacher and the handful of kids in his class.” I explained, watching Matty and hoping he heard the truth in my words, “And you’re this fucking celebrity people love, you’ve got places to be, fans to meet! I never once thought that you’d stick around, not for as long as you have at least. Or that you’d eventually pull me into your life.”

He looked up then, expression so carefully made. “And that’s a bad thing?”

I folded in on myself a little at his question. Unsure.

Matty rolled his lips together and dipped his chin in a slow nod, “Right.”

“Matty, it’s not like that.” I tried.

He was quick with his reply though, all but leaning into the table’s edge now, “Then what’s it like, Mouse?”

He hardly ever called me Mouse, from the day we’d met it had always been Squeaks.

I dragged a hand over my face and then into my hair, perhaps in hopes to bide my time, but mainly because I felt cornered. How was I supposed to tell Matty how much I valued him? His chaotic presence in my life, his texts and calls, his friendship. It was something I hadn’t known I’d needed, but he’d come along and surprised me. He had stuck around, even when I thought he wouldn’t, and he wasn’t asking for anything more than just my company. He didn’t have an ulterior motive, some trick up his sleeve. Or at least that’s what I believed.

“Does this change things, knowing I have a son?” I heard myself ask him, it was a genuine curiosity but I also had to know. I didn’t want to be strung along or let Matty into Teddy’s life like I had Finn and Adi, only for him to then up and leave when he finally grew bored of the normality of it all.

Matty simply stared back at me, those brown eyes of his narrowed as they flittered back and forth between my own, his lips parted slightly as he thought the question over.

“Do you want it to?”

And that hadn’t been the answer I was expecting.

Instantly I shook my head, dropping the pen so that my hands could fall limply into my lap. “Of course not, I like having you around, Matty. Me keeping Teddy from you has nothing to do with that.”

He continued to watch me.

Then finally he conceded with a prompt nod and I felt myself breathe in. “So, the park. Is there a spare invitation going?”

I let the air go in a stilted chuckle, smiling at the common ground he’d gifted us but also at the image of Matty messing about in a playground of all places. “Yes, yeah, ‘course.” I assured him, “Just, be prepared for any puddles, alright? He will soak you if you're within five feet of the splashzone.”

Matty finally laughed too, this soft thing I hadn’t really ever heard from him before, not in this way at least, and then grinned, whirling around in his seat when a stomping toddler came darting back into the room.

“Wellies ta!”

My eyes fell closed as I released another heavy sigh, “Please! Teds. Remember? Please, not ta.”

Teddy merely blinked back up at me and so I decided it would have to be a battle picked for yet another day. 

“Fine, go get them then.”

Matty snorted unhelpfully, which brought him to Teddy’s attention once more. “Need help with ‘em, little man?” He asked, raising a brow at me in hopes that it’d be okay.

I swallowed but ultimately nodded, I couldn’t not when Teddy’s curls started bouncing wildly with the nodding of his head at the question.

And so, I watched them go, Matty taking Teddy’s extended hand, praying that I hadn’t made a massive mistake here. Hoping that somehow Matty would prove me wrong and stay, for a little while.

–

The days after Matty’s impromptu visit came with little to no fuss, it was only when the man wasn’t in the studio that was on the phone to me- and by extension, Teddy as well, who’d taken quite the shine to him. Who could’ve known, hey?

Still, it was a massive change of pace. For me at least, I hadn’t managed to get a read on how Matty felt about it all, but I had yet to worry over it. Mostly because of the Christmas period and how stressed I’d been.

“Finn, I swear he’s driving me out of my mind!” I complained down the phone to my best mate, the thing was currently perched between my shoulder and ear whilst I attempted to throw my hair up into a half-arsed bun, if only to keep it out of my face. “The mess! I mean, it’s like a tornado’s gone and ripped its way through my flat!”

“He’s four, babe.” Came Finn’s unhelpful response. I huffed.

“Exactly! Four, how can someone so small create such a massive mess?” I stressed, trying to clear away as much of the clutter my living room was presently made up of as quickly as I could. “Mam’s gonna be here in,” I glanced hurriedly over at the clock on the far wall and felt my anxiety spike, “Just over an hour! I can’t let her walk into a bombsite!”

Finn laughed at that and so I scowled in retort, even if he couldn’t see me through the phone.

“Finn!” I admonished.

“Alright, sorry! It’s just, she’s your mum, babe. She won’t care what the flat looks like.” He tried to soothe me as he moved about on the other side, doing whatever it was that he was doing. “Why’s he made such a mess anyway?”

I gritted my teeth as I stepped on yet another rogue piece of Lego and just dropped down to start rounding everything and anything I could possibly see into a great big tub. 

“He’s excited, wanted to look nice for when mam shows up but also wanted to showcase to her all of his drawings and sculptures.” I told him, grimacing at the penstained action figure I picked up before tossing it amongst the heap too. “I’ve been in the kitchen mostly, cooking for when she arrives, so I didn’t really bear witness to the fact that he’d taken my permission and flipping run with it! You should see my front room, Finn.” I shook my head for the umpteenth time since I’d walked in and blinked at the chaos I’d been met with, “It’s a proper tip.”

I was given a resounding chuckle once more and simply decided to slump there on the floor, glad to note that most of everything had now been packed into the box. Out of sight, out of mind and all that.

“Finn, I don’t even want to go and see what his bedroom looks like as of right now. I can just picture how his wardrobe’s been overturned and all of his clothes have been tossed about the room.” 

I forced myself up onto my feet then, halfheartedly listening to Finn’s reply. I still needed to sort myself out before anything else and that thought alone stressed me out further.

And of course! Of course it would be in that exact moment that the doorbell went.

“Fuck.” I mumbled to myself, but found my feet already taking me towards the door. I paused only briefly by the mirror to catch sight of the mess my hair was in and tugged it free in hopes it’d help somewhat, “Listen babe, sorry for all my whinging but I’d best go. Door’s just gone and I’m guessing it’ll be that parcel I’ve been waiting on.”

“Cutting it pretty late there.” Finn said and I couldn’t agree more. It was the 23rd, Christmas was now only days away and still I’d yet to receive it- even after having ordered it well over three weeks ago!

“Fucking hell, tell me about it,” I groaned, opening the door up to be met with the sight of a big wrapped box blocking my vision. My forehead wrinkled in utter confusion, “Um, Finn? I really am going to have to call you back.”

“Why, what’s happened? Don’t leave me hanging! Who is it!”

The parcel dropped down an inch then to reveal a familiar grin and shining eyes. 

“Surprise?”

I hurriedly hung up the phone and shoved it into my back pocket, the feeling of bewilderment unable to override the instant worries that washed over me about what a state I must've looked. But I bullied those thoughts back down, ignoring the massive part of me that was currently screaming at the entire situation, for whatever reason I couldn’t even begin to really understand, cause it was just Matty, right? And instead propped myself up against the doorframe.

“What’s this then?” I asked, unable to help my smile when he was looking back at me seemingly so pleased with himself.

“Christmas, in’t it?” He replied all too easily, shaking the rather large present he held in his grasp to further the point.

“I can see that.” I chuckled, shaking my head a little at the picture he made, all bundled up on my front doorstep practically dwarfed by the box he’d brought along. “I just thought you were headed home today.”

He shrugged, an action that was made funnier by the large parcel, but continued smiling, “Meant to, just couldn’t leave without seeing you lot first.”

I blinked, startled by his words. But grinned when he merely widened both his eyes in exaggeration.

“It is fucking freezin’ out here, you know! Could invite a mate in.” Matty reminded me, so I hummed, mulling it over. But he wasn’t one to give up too easily and bribery appeared to be his best tactic here, “I’ve got presents. So open up or they’re going back.”

I narrowed my eyes in turn, “You wouldn’t.”

“Oh, but darling I would.”

I found myself grinning at him again, something I tended to do whenever he was around it seemed. There was just something about him, I supposed. 

He went to take a step back then and I relented all too easily. “Alright.” I laughed, opening the door up wider to allow him in. Matty all but jumped over the threshold, bringing the cold in with him, and whilst he set about shaking off his coat I went to close the door behind him, only to be stopped by a bright red coat.

“Oh, thanks.” I said in surprise to the postie that managed to time his arrival so perfectly. “Thank you,” I repeated for good measure, shooting my head up from the packaged parcel he’d handed me, “Happy Holidays!” He grinned in return, already taking off back down the steps and parroting the same sentiment to me.

I finally managed to shut the door after that and was met with a ruddy-faced Matty, who was wrapped in a big jumper I was immediately jealous of.

“Last minute present?” He wondered with a smirk and I waved him off.

“Ordered it weeks ago, got here just in time.”

Matty hummed and turned back to glance down at the big box that now rested against my hallway radiator, level with my hip it seemed. “Where is the monster?” He asked me, using the name both he and Teddy had taken a liking to.

My brow furrowed slightly. “You really didn’t have to, Matty.” I said to him quietly, looking down at the present he’d gotten for my son. 

He was having none of it though, rolled his eyes in fact and hunched over to pick the box up again. “Shut up.”

I snorted and couldn’t help but bite back, “You shut up.”

“Real mature, sweetheart. Ain’t you parents meant to be all boring and nice?” Matty quipped as he wandered his way into my living room, I breathed in a sigh of relief when I followed behind and found that my efforts in cleaning hadn’t been in vain.

“Ha ha. Should’ve taken up comedy.” I retorted to him, fixing a few pillows that sat askew on the settee, something to which Matty also rolled his eyes at.

“Nah, band makes more money.” He answered easily, like he’d thought about it before, as he glanced about for the best place to put the box.

“By the tree if you want, or you can leave it next to the chair so he’ll see it when he barrels in.”

Matty laughed and went with the latter. “You been alright then?” He asked me, taking the time to glance at all the holiday cards that rested on the mantelpiece nearby.

“Yeah,” I sighed with a small smile, “Hectic but that’s expected, isn’t it?”

He shot me a warm grin, nodding. “Christmas, babe.” Was all he replied with, which was fair enough, then he went to reach out to pick up a picture frame of me and a very very tiny Teddy. “When was this?”

I stepped closer and smiled down at the photo, “I was still in hospital with him then, my midwife took it.”

Matty hummed, looking down at it with a soft smile. It was then that I heard a thump sound somewhere down the hall, so I released a weighted breath and forced myself to step away, “I’ve got to go check on Teddy, he wanted to dress himself this morning and he’s been way too quiet.”

With another laugh, Matty let me go, nosing through more of the photos and cards which sat along the shelf. Something I could understand, he’d only been here just twice before, but even still, he didn’t care for how blatant he was with his nosing. 

I took the parcel with me as I went, slipping into my bedroom to unwrap and grin down at it. It was Matty’s, which is why its arrival had been so perfect. I'd begun to think that I would have to give it to him the next time I saw him. But now was as good a time as ever.

In a rush, I pulled out a gift bag and some coloured tissue paper, having no time to actually wrap it, and plopped it in. Making my way into the next room to see where Teddy had gotten to.

When I pushed his door open further than it was, I was only slightly surprised by the state of it. The rugrat in question, though, was stood by his wardrobe door, pulling an array of funny faces in its mirror.

“Oi mister, what you been up to?”

Teddy startled slightly at my voice but was giggling when he spun around to spot me. “Got dressed myself.” He stated, pointing proudly at the t-shirt he’d managed to pull on.

“Hm, so you have!” Taking in the jeans and tee combo he’d picked, I then grinned over at him, “Looking good, boyo. Could be a little stylist when you’re older, you know!”

Teddy gave me one of his impish grins and then darted over towards me. “No!” He dragged out in reply, hands clutching at my legs now he was near, his sweet mischievous face staring up at me, “Gone be like you.”

I had to press my lips together then to keep the strength of my smile at bay, his words making my heart swell. “You little charmer.” I chuckled, running a hand through his unruly locks, “Come on though, you’ve got a visitor.”

His eyes widened as he jumped back to rock onto the balls of his feet. “Mémé?” He asked excitedly and I almost felt bad about it not being her, but I knew how much Teddy had also grown to like Matty in the recent days so I wasn't too fussed.

I shook my head, “Not yet, soon though. But somebody else came to see you.”

Teddy’s eyebrows rose as he thought about who it could be and so, knowing that we could possibly be here all day, I started to steer him out into the hallway.

“Finny?” He asked, then, “Santa?”

I snorted, then shook my head to both. “Nope and no. Why don’t we just go see, hey?”

And with that I pushed the door to the living room open wider and watched on as Teddy gasped at the sight of the curly haired frontman standing by our settee.

“Matty!” He all but squealed, practically catapulting himself across the room to make a dive for the man.

Matty laughed, though also seemed startled by the reaction he’d garnered. He swept Teddy up though, all the same, and jostled him around before settling the toddler on his hip, eyes bright with something when they glanced over at me. I smiled, a heavy feeling settling itself in my chest.

“Alright, mate? What you been up to?” Matty asked Teddy, falling back onto the cushions behind them and stationing the toddler next to him.

Teddy replied in earnest, excited to tell Matty all the tales he had stored away since the last time they’d spoken, which had been a few nights previous over a FaceTime call. 

I shook my head in amusement and trailed over towards the kitchen, silenting motioning to Matty to see if he wanted a drink. The answer, as always, was yes and so I set about brewing him his usual, along with my own, taking the time to clean myself up a bit too.

By the time I walked back in, Teddy had just about finished telling Matty all the details of his last day at nursery (they’d had a party), which I’m sure the man had already heard about, but who acted as though it was the most brilliant story he’d ever been told. 

“One coffee.” I said in greeting, placing the two mugs onto coasters before taking a perch on the armchair by them.

“Ta.” Matty replied, grinning madly when Teddy cackled gleefully and repeated the word over and over. I rolled my eyes at the pair of them and took a calming sip of tea, unaware of how much I’d been in dire need of it. Whoever claimed Sunday’s were a day of rest, were liars.

“He spotted it yet then?” I asked aloud, already knowing the answer seeing as how I didn’t currently have a bouncing Teddy on my hands.

The toddler’s face wrinkled in confusion and he shot his head over to see me, I grinned from behind my mug. “Huh?” He sounded.

Matty hid his next snort well but then hummed too, pushing forward in his seat to grab at his coffee. “Oh his present, you mean?”

That had Teddy’s head spinning. “Where!”

“Manners, bubs.” I reminded, and Teddy nodded so quickly I was honestly a little worried about the whiplash he might face before his eyes were back on Matty.

“Please, present?” Teddy asked, pouting up at the curly haired man with a sudden urgency, his words butchered by his missing bottom teeth.

Matty chuckled, glad for the fact that he’d put his coffee back down in the toddler's haste, and then gestured his head over to the right. “You mean that one?”

Teddy’s eyes, if even possible, widened further, eyebrows reaching the tips of his curls and mouth dropping open as he finally spotted it.

“For me?” He gasped in awe, shuffling down Matty’s leg to approach it, all of his movements now slow as if his shock was stopping him from reacting typically. 

I leaned forward to watch on and Matty did the same, obviously nervous for Teddy’s reaction.

“For you, mate. Was walking by this shop the other day and spotted it, thought of you.” Matty told him seriously, smiling too whilst he wrung his hands together, foot tapping anxiously away, though unaware of it.

Teddy looked back at him, chewing on his bottom lip carefully, taking two more steps before he was touching the wrapping. He oohed at it softly to himself but I caught the way Matty’s face brightened at the sound.

“‘pen now?” Teds asked, his eyes drifting away from the gift, towards me and Matty both.

Matty looked over at me then too, the same question echoed on his face. I nodded with a small smirk, “Go on.”

Teddy’s eyes lit up and he spun back around to marvel at it once more, “W’ats it?”

The snort that escaped me at his ask went unnoticed by the pair as Matty moved to join the toddler on the floor. “Gotta open it up and find out, I ‘spose.”

Teddy’s grin brightened and then he fell to his bum so that he could pull the present closer. “Help?”

Matty blinked at the request and I was witness to the way his throat bobbed before he nodded, “Yeah, sure mate. Here, pull this, alright?”

Teddy did as instructed, tugging on a small opening in the wrapping. 

I noted as he began to tear away at it, how oddly wrapped it really was, meaning that Matty had probably taken the time to wrap it himself. My chest tightened again at the thought.

“Box.” Teddy announced once all the wrapping paper had been discarded on the rug behind him, and I had to bite my tongue to keep from outright laughing at the befuddled expression he gave Matty.

The man had no qualms though, simply chuckled at the question and leaned in closer to force one side of the cardboard box up a little, “Gotta open up that too, monster.”

Teddy’s brows drew together in concentration as he followed Matty’s lead, forcing the lid open more before a loud gasp escaped him. Matty went back to wringing his hands, fiddling with the rings on his fingers whilst I moved over to the settee to get a look too.

My expression faltered at the sight of the beautiful gift Matty had given Teddy. Inside the box rested a guitar in an incredible shade of deep blue, it was small enough for Teddy to hold whilst also being big enough for him to grow with. Even with my obsessive love for music, not once had I ever really thought about buying Teddy such a thing, not one of this calibre at least. It must've cost a fortune.

“Matty.” I whispered, but the man didn’t even spare a look my way, eyes trained on my toddler, trying to garner his reaction.

“You know what it is, mate?” He asked after a moment and Teddy’s little head dipped in a slow nod. Because I knew he knew, he danced around constantly pretending to have one in his hands whenever we had the tele or radio on. Where there was music blaring, there would also be a Teddy playing air guitar.

“‘tar.” Teddy stated in a soft voice, both Matty and I smiled at the way he said it, but the former nodded, pulling the instrument out of the box so that Teddy could get a closer look.

“Cool right?”

Teddy nodded silently again, reaching out a hand to carefully touch the wooden neck, blinking and reeling back when a string strummed. Before he then giggled and reached out once more.

Matty seemed to slump in relief, evidently glad that Teddy liked it. But I’d go as far to even say he adored it, never had he ever been so gentle with anything.

“Have you got something to say to Matty, Teds?” I prompted, ignoring the way my throat caught at the emotion I felt. I couldn’t quite wrap my mind around it.

Teddy pulled his eyes away from the guitar to gaze up at Matty as though he was something other. I merely blinked at the reaction and before I knew it Teddy had thrown himself into Matty’s arms, startling the man a tad. Matty welcomed him after a second though, glancing over the toddler’s head to share a look with me.

“T’ank you.” I heard Teddy muffle into the collar of Matty’s jumper then, actually saying the words this time. It seemed Matty knew what that meant too, because he tightened his hold on Teddy’s waist a little.

“You’re welcome, mate.”

The rest of Matty’s visit was used to teach Teddy a bit about the basics of a guitar, managing to play an E minor and get started on an A chord. Teddy listened to Matty with rapt attention, barely sparing anything else a second glance, which was startling for a toddler, let alone Teddy who was constantly go, go, go.

Watching them was all too lovely as well. For someone with such a cool front, Matty seemed to melt around Teddy, succumbing to that of the boy’s charm and easy going nature. It was sweet to see, surprising but endlessly sweet. Had me losing track of time, in truth. Which is why I jumped and cursed the way I did when the door finally knocked. 

“Mémé!”