#Just wanted relevant screenshots with the quote

[don-dake]

“Both affairs actually start from the rice cooker, which was a new invention from Japan. Maggie’s husband bought her one. Tony then asked the husband to get one for his wife, because she was tired of being a housewife — she wanted to work, and the rice cooker would release her from the kitchen. When he buys her the rice cooker, that’s the beginning of their affair, which eventually kicks off the affair between Tony and Maggie.

To me, the rice cooker was the most important invention in Asia to help liberate women, because they no longer had to tend so much to the cooking. That and instant noodles completely changed the lifestyles of Asian people.”

～ from ～ Wong Kar-wai on 《In the Mood for Love》

[gurugirl]

Just For Tonight | Ch. 3

This is the last part of this mini series! We might have some more coming for you - stay tuned!

Series Summary: Harry spots an angel in the crowd and he can't keep his eyes off of her. And, as if by some cosmic pull, he can't help but ask her backstage. But it's only going to be just for tonight. Or is it?

Chapter Summary: Is it true what they say? Does distance really make the heart grow fonder? Y/n isn't so sure so she tries to move on. But Harry has other plans.

A/N: In this chapter I mention a particular ex (without naming her) as part of the plot. This does not mean I feel one way or another about her, nor do I think this is an accurate representation of how she's acted after their split. This was requested for the story. This is a work of fiction.

Warning: 18+ only, smut, mentions of an ex, angst

Word Count: 11.8k

Commissioned by anon (thank you!! xoxo)

Just For Tonight Masterlist

It had been difficult for Y/n to stop thinking about Harry. They connected so well and she loved the way he was with her and how he carried himself. Loved the way they could talk about nothing and have it feel like the most interesting thing.

They had a few calls after he left LA for his tour. But that quickly became hard to navigate with the different time zones. He said he liked her and wanted to see her again. And she was sure that when he said that he meant it. The distance won, however.

But with his absence, with him being in another country on tour, and hundreds of people begging for a chance of what she got lucky enough to experience, she figured that what she’d gotten was probably all she’d ever get.

And that was okay. It wasn’t what she wanted. She wanted more of him. Would have loved to have seen him but she knew he was too famous and too amazing to settle for someone like her. She knew better than to ever get her hopes up. He’d done nothing wrong.

Instagram showed pictures of him with his friends and a mystery woman. A woman who was with him at one of his concerts. And then another one. Photos of them walking along the streets together. A fuzzy snap of them at a small café huddled closely. That was also okay. There had been no promises or commitments made.

Y/n hated to do it, hated to open up Instagram but her curiosity about Harry and if he’d been spotted by fans was eating at her. A DuexMoi post with a screenshot from his recent long-term ex’s Instagram account had her feeling nauseated. It was a subtle thing. Nothing specific but everyone picked up on the meaning. The text was a quote from a book she’d been reading over a picture of a close-up of her wearing a cross necklace.

The comments on what it meant were all over the place. And Y/n knew better than to read into anything too deeply or to fixate on something like this. Harry had brought up his ex once when their conversation was relevant to it. Said that she continued reaching out to him and that even when it was clear they were over the woman still called him and sent him messages on the regular.

And as much as she knew that it was probably nothing she couldn’t shake the way it felt to think of Harry and his ex getting back together somehow. She didn’t know anything about what he was doing at that moment because their calls had all but stopped by then. But the post from his ex was a signal. Did it mean anything? Maybe. But maybe it only meant something to his ex. Perhaps Harry hadn’t even seen it.

However, the comments on the post suggested they were talking again and reports of them trying to “work it out” were numerous.

And with that idea, she decided to log back into her stupid dating app. Try and get over the pop star once and for all. Move on if she could.

She’d had one good date from the app ages ago. The rest of the men who contacted her were absolute wastes but perhaps she’d find someone once again who she could tolerate for longer than a chat session. She’d give it a shot.

.           .           .

“But you did take her call?” Jeff spoke over the phone as Harry walked back to the hotel after a training session with Brad.

“Well, yeah. We have history. I didn’t want to be rude. Haven’t talked to her in a while. Thought maybe it could be important.”

“And was it?” Jeff sounded exasperated.

“No. She just said she missed me. Wants to see me when I get back to the States.”

Harry knew when he saw the incoming call from his ex that he probably shouldn’t pick up. But that was the thing about him. He was a people pleaser. He didn’t like when anyone was upset with him and he liked being on everyone’s good side. Even if it meant answering a call he didn’t want to take.

And part of him missed her. Missed what they had at the very beginning but he’d truly moved on. Especially with the idea that he’d be getting back to LA soon and seeing Y/n again. He hoped he hadn’t ruined it with her. It was hard to keep in contact with her. Too many missed calls and back-and-forth voicemails. Even the texts with Y/n had dwindled slowly. He understood that the distance was hard to overcome but that didn’t mean he wasn’t looking forward to hopefully seeing her again.

He knew if he had the chance to see her again and she still wanted to give it a shot with him he wouldn’t be letting go next time. He’d make it official. He’d want to really do it right with her. And he’d have a little time off from the tour to dote on her and give her lots of attention. Maybe even convince her that she should just travel with him wherever he went off to. Convince her that she should be his and that he would do everything he could to make her happy like she deserved.

He hoped it wasn’t too late.

And now with the new Instagram post from his ex the gossip had begun. Full articles written about how he and his ex were getting back together again, how it was true love, and a bunch of other nonsense that her story caused. And Jeff was pissed.

“I really wish you wouldn’t have taken her call. That’s sending her mixed signals and now with that godforsaken post she put up you’re already getting hate messages about taking her back. Calling you complicit. It’s a nightmare.”

Sometimes Harry really hated being famous. He didn’t even have to do much to get scrutiny. Sometimes one small little blunder, like answering a call could set off a chain of events that led him to where he was now, getting his ear chewed off by Jeff and having his fans upset with him.

But his main concern was if Y/n had seen it or not. He wondered what she thought about it. If she cared. He wondered how she was. If she’d seen anyone while he was gone. He missed her.

.           .           .

The job at The Dulcería had turned out to be one of the best things ever, income-wise anyway. She was exhausted and had little free time but she was pulling in pretty healthy tips and when it came time to pay her rent she had plenty left over to pay on time and stick the rest in savings.

Vyra steered clear for the most part but she did hover a bit any time Y/n had a table with a high roller or celebrity. Which, Y/n came to learn that not all celebrities tipped like Harry Styles. In fact, some tipped worse than normies to her shock.

One particularly demanding uber-famous model with her model friends was nice at first. Needed things brought out in a certain order, the wine had to be perfectly chilled or she wouldn’t drink from her glass, and then there was the lighting issue. She and her friends were snapping photos of themselves “eating” and the lights weren’t right.

Their table was full of The Dulcería’s most exclusive and expensive desserts (which the restaurant was famous for) and yet only a few bites were taken after uploading all their photos to Instagram. It was a shame that all of it had to be tossed when their table was cleared. It felt like it should be illegal. Belgian fine chocolate ganache, freshly made lemon curd, berries from the local market selected that very morning, handpicked herbs, candied pistachios, and fresh lavender cream. All that waste for nothing.

The tip that was left after that three-hour debacle was less than 5% of the bill. She assumed the woman who supposedly had many millions of dollars to her name would have given a better tip on a nearly $3,000 tab. Just imagine watching a rich woman clad in designer carrying a purse most people had to get on a waitlist for leaving a $145 tip on a $3,000 tab.

Still, even then, she was bringing in good tips and couldn’t complain often.

Her feet hurt and she smelled like the restaurant through and through at the end of her shifts. If she could have just collapsed into her bed and gone to sleep she would have. But the thought of not showering off first made her skin crawl. She needed the scent of food and spilled wine scrubbed from her pores.

And like she did nearly every night before falling asleep, she checked social media and then checked her dating app to see if there were any hits. Any worthy of a response from her.

One evening she did hear from a man who seemed intriguing. He appeared to be normal and handsome. So she sent him a response and opened up the chat option if he wanted to pursue something.

And the following day at the office she and Jimmy had chatted intermittently. She felt that sweet little familiar bubble of excitement in her tummy when her phone gave her a notification that he’d messaged her.

They made plans to meet up in person on a Wednesday after work at a bar near to her house.

It had been almost two months since she’d seen Harry. He did message her a few weeks prior but there was no call and when she responded he didn’t respond back. She figured it was time to look for something a little more serious. She knew better than to assume she and Harry were endgame. No matter how good the sex and connection were.

She stopped stalking Instagram and googling to find out where he was in the world. It was better for her own mental health to try and move on from him. He had been a fun fling. A great guy. Maybe one of the best “hookups” she’d ever had. Not maybe. He definitely was. He had been kind and thoughtful and fun. And he was great in bed.

But it was time to put that behind her now. A date with a nice, normal guy was in order. She just hoped she could erase the way Harry made her feel and that she wouldn’t compare every guy she tried dating to the pop star.

Jimmy was attractive in person to her delight. He worked downtown not far from where she did and they talked about mundane things like their commute (anyone living in or around LA will understand this is a hot topic), the buildings they worked in, and their jobs. When Y/n revealed she worked as a waitress on the side Jimmy seemed impressed by her even more.

After a few glasses of wine and for Jimmy, beer, they decided to part ways. It had been a good first meetup. Y/n was feeling buzzy and excited. Hopeful.

The chats with Jimmy continued but moved from the app to texts. They had plans to meet up again Monday evening.

Her weekend shift at The Dulcería was like any other. Tips were good. Some of the patrons were just so-so. Vyra was annoying but gave her space. But she was exhausted. She only worked an extra 18 hours a week as a waitress but after a few months, it began to wear on her.

So when Monday came around and she walked to the same bar to meet up with Jimmy she didn’t expect that the text she’d be getting wouldn’t be from her date.

Just as she was pushing through the doors to the bar she looked at her notification screen and nearly dropped her phone.

It was Harry.

She paused by the door for a moment, contemplating whether or not to read the text to see what he wanted or to wait until after her date. She decided on the latter out of respect for Jimmy.

The problem was, though, that Y/n couldn’t get it out of her mind what it was that Harry had texted her. It had been long enough that she figured he’d completely moved on. And was it fair of him to reach out again after all that time?

So, instead of feeling flattered, she started to feel the tiny crawling of annoyance and frustration dragging up her spine.

“I’d like to see you again soon. Maybe we can get dinner next time. Take a walk afterward along the boardwalk or something?” Jimmy said as he hugged Y/n goodbye before they went their separate ways.

“That sounds great. I’m free Sunday night if you want to do it then. Kind of hard most Fridays and Saturdays,” she shrugged as she felt Jimmy squeeze her hand.

“Sunday night sounds perfect. Can I pick you up?”

.           .           .

Hey, how are you? Miss you.

She read the text over and over again. That was all it said but why? Why send it? It wasn’t as if he couldn’t be allowed to text her. He had her number. They’d slept together a couple of times and had gotten to know one another beyond just surfacey stuff. But still.

Instead of texting him back, she decided to leave him on read. She needed time to figure out how to respond. What to say, or if she should say anything. Maybe she should just leave it so he got the hint about what was going on. That she didn’t want to open up that chapter again and get herself hurt. Because she would get her heart broken by Harry if she let herself get lost in it.

And it wasn’t like he’d done anything wrong at all. It was clear that what had happened between them had just been casual. Good, fun sex. So responding to him wouldn’t have been weird but there was a part of her that felt like maybe he’d dug his way into her heart a little more than she was ready to admit. If she was taking his innocent text so seriously and pondering it so deeply, perhaps there was more to it. Which meant she needed to let it go for her own good.

So she did leave him on read. But more for her sake than his she figured.

.           .           .

Harry couldn’t understand why she hadn’t responded. He could see that she’d read the text. But why not respond? He wondered if this meant she’d moved on. Maybe she’d seen that post from his ex and figured he was on his way to getting back with her somehow amidst all the rumors.

He was aware of how things were between himself and Y/n. He’d given in and fucked his own rule to not sleep with someone who was supposed to be a one-time thing more than once. To go back for more. But when he saw her that night at the restaurant he felt like somehow it was fate. Not like a deep sort of forever kind of fate, but more like a this is okay to indulge in more than once kind of fate. He usually didn’t like doing that but with Y/n it felt different. And she was hot. And funny. And the way she handled him in bed had definitely left a mark on him. She wasn’t just a fan or a casual sex partner. She wasn’t just some girl.

So that’s why he texted her. He was coming back to LA in a couple of weeks. Figured they could see one another again and have some fun. But maybe that was the problem. She was more than just fun for a night. He liked her a lot. And perhaps she was feeling something similar and needed to put that distance there so she didn’t get hurt. Harry could understand that.

While he was away he had one of his good friends along with him. He liked to have someone he trusted, which was rare in his world. He had a hard time trusting most people. She was easygoing and didn’t want anything from him sexually so she was a perfect confidant and companion to have traveling with him. It was nice to have friends like her. Something that didn’t need to be anything but friendly. Someone that he could joke around with and not worry much about being on his best behavior with.

She even gave him great advice about Y/n and then his ex after the disaster of her Instagram post. He knew he’d been snapped with her as he was out and about. On walks, in restaurants, in group settings. There were of course the usual rumors that they were dating but that couldn’t have been further from the truth.

He imagined that Y/n had seen the photos of him walking with the girl next to him. Plus the post from his ex wasn’t helping matters. Maybe it had all been too much for Y/n? Or maybe he was overthinking it all. He wasn’t quite ready to give up but he’d let her be until he returned.

.           .           .

Jimmy took Y/n to a cute little Mexican spot Sunday night and they ordered margaritas and Baja tacos with guacamole and cactus salad.

And Jimmy looked extra attractive that evening. She hadn’t noticed before then that his forearms were so thick. He had a sweater on that he’d pushed up to his elbows baring his arms. A bit of scruff on his face. And he smelled nice.

She felt like maybe they’d had enough dates and had gotten to know one another well enough that going back to his place might be fun. She wouldn’t mind a fun romp in the sack with him.

So when they walked back to Jimmy’s car she decided to go out on a limb, “Would you… what do you think about maybe going back to your place together? Or mine? I was thinking we could kind of relax and continue our conversation a bit?”

Jimmy opened the passenger door for her to let her into his car, “Oh. Yeah! Absolutely. Whichever place is better for you. It’s up to you. Mine or yours.”

And because Y/n wanted to do more than just “continue their conversation” she figured his place was best since Brad was probably home. The last time she had a man in her bed was Harry and Brad hinted at having heard them the next day. Not something she wanted to repeat nor subject poor Brad to again.

Jimmy lived in a one-bedroom apartment. He had no roommates which was ideal.

“So, I just want to tell you that right now I’m not looking for a serious relationship. I still have my profile up and kind of chatting with another girl but it hasn’t gone anywhere. I think once we get to know one another a little more maybe we can talk about being exclusive. Does that sound okay?”

She appreciated Jimmy’s honesty. And she was glad that he told her before they’d gotten any further. Because they were both sitting on his couch and making out heavily. In fact, her hand was already slowly making its way up his thigh when he stopped her to come clean.

She paused and thought for a moment. Was that okay? She began to nod and turned her gaze back to her date, “Thank you for telling me. And yeah… I think I can agree to that. Let’s just keep being honest with one another like this and I think it’ll be really good,” she leaned in when Jimmy grinned at her answer and she climbed over his lap, not ready to stop the direction they were already headed.

And just as she’d intended when she left the restaurant with Jimmy they had sex after clearing the air about their status.

It was good. She liked having sex. She didn’t do it a lot. Maybe she’d have one or two a year at most. Hopefully, Jimmy would be someone she could keep around. She hated dating and finding someone she could trust.

Jimmy didn’t get her off, though. He tried. He ate her out, which she was already very pleased with. Not all men would go down on a woman without having to be prompted. Jimmy was eager.

But when that didn’t get her off she told him to get a condom so they could have sex.

Again, he was eager. Quite good really. But as was typical for having sex with anyone for the first time, she didn’t come. She was nice and wet and super turned on but it just didn’t happen.

She didn’t mind much. He did hit some really good spots that made her moan and got her close a few times. He tried rubbing her clit to get her off before he could come but it didn’t do it for her. She guided his fingers over her the way she liked but he needed time to figure out her body a little. Nothing wrong with that at all.

And he knew she didn’t come. He was disappointed in himself when he pumped into his condom and groaned in his orgasm. He apologized profusely and tried to eat her out again but she was tired. They’d been going at it for a while because his goal was to make her come.

“It’s okay. Really. Jimmy, you’re so good. It’s always like this the first time for me. I had so much fun with you.” She cupped his jaw.

While what she was saying was mostly true, she couldn’t stop imagining how Harry had gotten her off his first time. And the second time and the following morning before he left. She tried to swallow down those thoughts and not let that interrupt her moment with Jimmy but she couldn’t help it. Harry’s moves were just better and his dirty talk and his body. And his cock. And him.

She closed her eyes to squeeze out that image from her mind. There was nothing wrong with Jimmy’s body or his dick. He was fine. She was sure that after some work he’d be getting her off soon enough. They’d eventually get very comfortable with one another and sex would be better and she’d orgasm easier.

Really at the end of the day she wanted to feel close with someone. And she got exactly that with Jimmy. He pulled her into his chest and they fell asleep in his bed. She might have not gotten her orgasm but she got the connection and closeness she’d been craving and missing.

.           .           .

The following week they skipped going out for a date altogether and Jimmy cooked for her at his place. He was a pretty romantic person. A genuinely nice guy. Handsome, funny, smart. But their second time having sex was not different from the first. Y/n was sure she’d come and had gotten close a few times but it still just didn’t happen.

And for the first time in her life ever, she faked it. She felt she had to. The poor guy was suffering. He was hammering into her and grunting and shaking, continually pulling out before he could release. For nearly half an hour that was the scene.

He tried holding her legs to the side and thrusting into her as he hovered over her but she needed something more, she was sure. Her own fingers at her clit and his cock slipping in and out just didn’t do the job. So she got on all fours and Jimmy’s bed creaked and bounced and it felt really good. Just not good enough.

Finally, when she rode him she felt that yummy gooey thing she always got just before coming but the moment she began to quiver and just before she could come Jimmy’s words halted any further gooeyness, “Finally, fuck!”

That had done it. She wasn’t going to come. He didn’t mean it to be rude, she was sure. Jimmy was the sweetest guy, truly. But that little bit was all she needed and her orgasm was ruined. So when she felt him throbbing in his condom she moaned and clenched and did all the stupid acting a porn star would to fake her orgasm.

For him to say finally in response to thinking she was coming. Really? That had irked her. She wished he hadn’t said that.

But it didn’t deter her. She really did like the guy. And surely the third time would be the charm. Except it wasn’t. The following morning he ate her out and then they had sex and he got off while she faked it again. She had to get going anyway because it was Monday morning and she had to be at the office.

It felt good to be dating someone. Even if it was casual. Jimmy had mentioned he hadn’t seen anyone else, but she didn’t miss it when he said “yet”. And part of her preferred it casual with Jimmy. Liked that her options were still open for the time being. But it did feel good to be in a relationship of sorts. Felt nice to know that someone liked her enough to keep texting her and seeing her and wanted to sleep with her. It felt grownup. That’s what she wanted. Connection. Relationship. And that’s what Jimmy gave her. In due time they would be more sexually compatible. She was sure.

On Friday night at the restaurant, she was given a couple of large groups. They were relatively nice. Perfectly well-behaved groups. Jimmy had been texting her all night. He was hoping to see her and have her stay over until the following morning before she had to be at work.

She hadn’t decided if she would or not. She sort of wanted to sleep her morning away before needing to be on her feet all night again. And she figured she could use her dildo and make herself come because she was sure Jimmy couldn’t. She knew that he wanted to have sex with her and at that point it just sounded exhausting. Now every time they got together the night ended with sex and a failed orgasm on her part. She didn’t know if something was wrong with her or if maybe she wasn’t as compatible with Jimmy as she thought. But she knew one thing. He wasn’t getting her off like she needed. And her feelings about that were giving her pause. She wondered if she was just settling for casual dates with Jimmy. Wondering if Harry had ruined her for anyone else.

So when she was suddenly interrupted coming out of the kitchen to check on one of her tables she jumped at his voice. It had been unexpected.

“Harry? What are you doing here?” She looked around and the bustling restaurant and then back up at the handsome man. Her body tingled at his presence and she got that lightheaded excitedness that she felt every time she saw him. And she realized that that was something she never experienced with Jimmy.

“I just wanted to say hi. You hadn’t texted me back the last time I reached out and I’m here for dinner right now and saw you walking back and forth. Just wanted to see how you are.”

She didn’t realize Harry had been there. Usually, the servers would mention any time anyone famous came in.

“Oh. Yeah, I’m well. Just… gosh I’ve been really busy. How have you been? I didn’t know you were back.” She decided not to address the fact that she hadn’t responded to his text nearly a month ago.

“I’m great. Been back in LA for almost a week. Missed you.”

Missed you. Yeah, she missed him too if she were honest. But she’d been pushing it all down. Covering up her feelings with Jimmy.

“That’s… I uh… missed you too.” She didn’t know what else to say. Out loud anyway. Internally she was telling him all about how the guy she’d been dating was super sweet but terrible in bed. Well, not terrible. But not Harry. And he didn’t make her feel all floaty and full of syrup and butterflies and anticipation the way Harry did. How she was having trouble connecting with Jimmy the way she could with Harry. God, how she’d love to have another round with him again. Feel that yummy stretch he gave her, that sharp deep poke, listen to his deep voice in her ear as he coaxed her through an orgasm that had her shaking and slobbering into the sheets.

“Yeah? Maybe I can see you after? I’ll stick around til you get off.”

Her mind was playing tricks on her. Til you get off. Yeah, she knew that would happen if she allowed him to stick around. She’d get off all right. He’d see to it. She should say no. Should tell him she’s seeing someone. It’s not serious but she shouldn’t do that to Jimmy. But then again…

“Okay. Yeah. I’d like that. Should be done here in an hour and a half. Is that okay?”

“F’course. I’ll be here.”

She felt immediate guilt. Jimmy didn’t deserve to be put on the back burner. He was too sweet. And there was nothing wrong with him. Sex wasn’t amazing but it wasn’t bad and eventually, she’d get used to him and she’d orgasm with him. Surely. Right? But the biggest thing that nagged at her was the way she felt around Harry. Just having him standing before her and speaking to her had her feeling things she realized she never felt with Jimmy. Maybe Jimmy wasn’t a good match for her.

And she and Jimmy weren’t exclusive. That had been made clear at the beginning. Jimmy did say that he wasn’t ready to be serious with anyone and that he wanted to get to know her for a while before any commitments were made. So it wasn’t like she was actually doing anything wrong. And it wasn’t as if Harry was asking her to have sex with him. Not by any means. Perhaps it was just to chat. To just catch up.

.           .           .

It was most definitely not just to chat. But of course, she knew that. Harry had her in his bed nearly the minute they walked into his huge mansion. It was the first time she’d been to his place and she barely had a moment to look around before he was dragging her to his master suite. They’d made out the entire way from the restaurant to his place in the back of the car. She couldn’t help it. It was like magic between them. Like fate. Like they were meant to be. She felt powerless to it.

“God I missed you,” he whispered into her neck as he gripped the back of her head, “Have never kissed anyone with softer lips.”

She was wet nearly instantly. Jimmy had to work hard to get her in the state she was with Harry after only five minutes of a hot, backseat makeout session.

In his room, she pulled his pants down and dropped to her knees. She needed to see him. Needed to dig her nails into his thick, masculine thighs. She panted as she leaned in and pressed her lips over his tiger tattoo and ran her hands upward to cup his bulge.

Harry watched her from her position on her knees before him and finally felt like he was home. There was something about this girl that he couldn’t shake. He had missed her. And the whole reason he had gone to The Dulcería that night was to see her.

So he was surprised when she so easily said yes to seeing him after work. Surprised when she flirted with him and responded to his touch with touches of her own. Surprised when she kissed him in the back seat of the cab and now more than anything, was pleased by the direction the night was going.

He decided before he even saw her that night that he wanted to make her his. Wanted it to be official. He could see himself getting serious with her. Saw himself bringing her with him everywhere. Falling in love. The whole nine.

Her lips sucked and pulled at his cock and it was better than he remembered. There was certainly nothing like the real thing when it came to getting head and Harry had been doing a lot of imagining over the months. He’d missed her warmth and her eyes. Her wet lips slipping over his shaft.

She coughed and gurgled around him as she sat back for a breath and stroked him in her hand. He brushed his fingers along her temple to move her hair from her face and she was already looking up at him. Her top had been unbuttoned and he had a view of her big tits held in by her bra and her soft eyes looking up at him with his cock in her hand.

“Fuck, angel. Missed you so much.”

She smiled and leaned in with her pink tongue sticking out before licking over his balls, gently kissing and sucking at the skin. He moaned as she moved upward over his shaft and to his crown before popping him back into her mouth.

Another good gag had Harry pulling her up, “Darling, take your clothes off,” he said through soft breaths as he pulled his shirt off and kicked his pants down the rest of the way off his legs.

She removed her work outfit and could smell the restaurant on herself, “I should like, shower or something. I smell like kitchen and food…”

Harry dragged her into his arms and stepped her back toward the bed, “Just like you are. I need you now.” He spoke against her lips.

She was pushed into his bed, her naked body under his with his soft mouth drinking her in. His lips moved from her jaw to her neck and suckled at her tits for a while before he got down to business slurping away at her cunt.

Yes. Okay. That was good. Harry was good. And she knew it wasn’t just because he was so skilled. No. She realized that it was because of the way she felt for Harry. Her heart thundered in her chest wildly as she yanked his hair and ground her pussy into his face. Harry sucked and kissed and fingered wetly as he moaned into flesh. It was everything. Harry was everything.

When she splashed a bit on his face from her orgasm Harry sat back with a laugh as he massaged the inside of her thighs. She forced herself to open her eyes to look at him. He was breathing heavily, his chest flushed pink, his cock thickened and erect. Ready to be pressed right into her sloppy pussy.

He had a hand at his base as he smoothed his weepy tip through her hot and sticky crease. He small whine fell from his lips before he got up to grab a condom. He would have loved to have just fucked her raw but they’d need to talk about all that first. And they’d barely done any talking that evening.

She pushed herself up to her elbows to watch Harry as he stood next to the bed and looked down at his girthy cock, sliding the condom over himself. She couldn’t wait to feel him inside of her again. At long last.

His strong body was insane. She’d never get over it. Wanted to drag her tongue over every inch and drink up his sweat and taste the salt in her mouth. God, he made her insatiable.

Harry kneed up to her on the bed, his heavy condom-covered dick swaying until he pulled her toward him and planted his lips onto hers. Soft and sensuous. The way he kissed her was enough to call it all off Jimmy. It had her head spinning and her tummy doing somersaults. Never something Jimmy had accomplished in their couple of months of dating.

He was breathing hard as he backed from the kiss and looked over her bare body, “I needed this so bad. God… You have no idea how much I missed you, Y/n.”

She really didn’t know. Because she imagined he was getting plenty of ass while he’d been away.  

Harry laid her down on the bed, her back flat on the mattress as he leaned over her frame and attached his lips to her breasts one at a time. She could feel his cock dragging over her as he moved from one nipple to the other.

He felt her buck upward under him and he smiled as he popped off her nipple and looked down at her, “Need something, angel?”

She nodded with a grin, “Your cock. Please.”

Harry groaned and thumbed over moistened nipples before grasping his shaft with one hand and planting his palm down onto the mattress to hold himself up over her.

“Yeah? Please? You missed me, angel?”

“Oh my god…” she moaned as she felt his tip press against her entrance, “Yes. Oh my god, I missed you.”

Harry sat back onto his haunches so he could watch as he entered her. It was his favorite view. The way she spread open, the tight little snap of him entering her clenching muscle, how nicely she took all of him. He pushed in and pulled back, wetting himself as he inched in further and further. She was sopping and had coated his condom in her drippy juices. He moaned as he dipped in deeper and watched her mouth drop open in relief at the feel of him stuffing her pussy.

When he’d gotten in balls deep he sighed, “Oh fuck, angel. I’m gonna treat you so good.” And he didn’t just mean while he was fucking her. He meant it in every way one could. He was going to treat her exactly as she deserved.

 When he began to thrust in and out with long and languid strokes, the poke into her belly was toe-curling. She’d missed the way his cock felt and missed him. Missed him more than anything.

The patting of their skin slapping together wetly sounded as good as it felt. Harry moaned and Y/n gasped. He was deep. It was as if he’d somehow grown in size since he’d been away but she was sure it was just because Harry was Harry. She liked his dick but she just really liked him.

Harry had a nice grip on her thighs to keep them spread so he could have an unobstructed image of what he was doing to her, “God your little hole is just taking me, baby…” he groaned.

She peered up at him, his abs and his thighs flexing as he worked himself into her steadily. Every time he plunged in he nudged himself into her with a quick buck at the end to push himself as far in as he could get, causing her to jolt upward and whimper at the ache.

“Your cock… oh god Harry…” she didn’t know what she was trying to say. Except maybe just that she was really enjoying him. A compliment to how good he felt. How good he was.

Harry rhythmically rocked into her and released one of her thighs to use his thumb on her clit. He softly smoothed his pad over her sticky and aroused nub and she gasped. Harry grinned at her as she reached down to feel the mess they were making, her fingers slipping next to his and then lower, to feel where his cock was sliding in and out, spreading her pussy apart, the wet hair at his base, his balls as they nudged into her when he buried himself in.

“My cock? Yeah? That feel good inside you?”

“Yes, fuck… your gonna make me come so hard,” she moaned her words as she kept her fingers held against the spot where he was pushing into her, slick and creamy.

“Feel that? Feel how wet you get for me? How hard you make me?” He sucked in a sharp breath when her fingers glided along his balls and he stilled his hips, grinding himself into her. She was forced to move her fingers back up to her clit as Harry grasped her hips and pulled her over him so she could feel just how deep he was.

“God I wish I could fuck you without a condom. Come inside of your sweet cunt and fill you up like you deserve.”

She moaned at his words and the way he was buried inside of her guts. Her eyes fluttered closed as she continued to finger over her clit. That sounded exactly like what she wanted too. Wanted to feel him pouring into her and then watch it leak out slowly as he stuffed it back in with his tip.

“Oh my god, Harry. That sounds good…” She looked down at where his pelvis was pasted to hers as he circled his hips into her.

“Yeah? Gonna make you mine, baby and then I’m gonna fuck you raw and come inside of you over and over again. You want that?”

Nodding her head, she had a pained, fucked-out expression on her face, “Yess…” she panted.

Harry leaned over her body, not able to resist kissing her any longer. He needed his mouth on hers immediately.

The quick change of position had Y/n gasping as Harry shifted over her and pressed his lips to hers. The smooth strokes of his cock started up again as he planted his mouth over hers and licked against her tongue.

Intimate. That’s what it was. Harry was intimate but it felt especially real. Especially meaningful. She tried not to think about how soft and loving he was being with her because it felt so much like what someone would do if he was in love.

But then suddenly he took her hand and wound his fingers into hers, pressing their joined hands into the bed next to the pillow her head was on, as he continued thrusting and kissing. That gesture totally tipped her mind into that place she didn’t want to go. That place that told her he was just as into her as she was into him. That he wanted her and only her.

She bent her knees and planted her feet flat, lifting her hips upward each time he pushed in. It was wet and hot between them. Harry’s body over hers was solid and strong as he fucked into her with everything he had. She felt it too. Felt him put his whole body into each thrust.

Their hands stayed wound together tightly as Harry licked into her mouth. They parted only for gasps of air and to let out whimpers and moans.

“Please, Y/n…” Harry whispers against her lips before opening his mouth over hers and smoothing them together, closing his mouth around her tongue and then pressing his tongue passed her lips. She wanted to ask him why he said please but her brain was scrambled and focused on the way their bodies moved together. How good he felt. How good she felt.

Her heart was pounding so hard she could hear it. She was certain Harry could hear it too. His pelvis stayed pressed into her clit and each time he stuffed himself into the hilt he undulated his hips as she tilted her own pelvis into him.

“Oh fuck!” She cried when Harry hit something inside of her that made her body tingle. She’d felt nothing like it before but she was sure it wasn’t just something physical he was nudging into. It was something emotional. She was doomed to his charm. Doomed to fall for him whether she wanted to or not. But how could she not?

Harry pushed himself up, his hands still wrapped around hers, “Okay, angel?” His soft, beautiful eyes would haunt her. Dark lashes and a dark limbal ring that lined his already perfect shade of green…

“It just… it feels so good, Harry. You’re making me feel so good,” she panted her words.

Harry dragged his gaze from her eyes down to her tits, “Want you to ride me, okay? Want to see how you fuck yourself on me.”

Nodding her head Harry slid himself out with a soft hiss as he grasped his cock and watched the tiniest bit of liquid gush from her pussy. She’d only gotten wetter as he fucked her.

Harry took her hand and brought it to his lips, “What are you doing to me, Y/n?”

She sat up as they kept their eyes locked and Harry grasped the back of her neck and kissed her again. They sat in the middle of his massive bed, both on their knees, naked and kissing urgently until Harry sat back and pulled Y/n with him, dragging her body over his, never letting their lips part.

She straddled his lap as he grasped her hips and pressed her wet cunt to his impossibly hard erection. When he’d finally laid his back into the mattress she placed her palms over his pecs and felt his hands at her ass, guiding her up so she could put him back in as quickly as possible.

Letting her fingertips travel over his chest, feeling the hair on her palm, the sturdy muscle under his soft skin, she scraped lightly and leaned down to lick his nipple. She smiled when he moaned and as badly as she wanted to have his cock back inside of her she needed to show her affection to his gorgeous body. At least a little.

Moving her lips to his other side she licked over his pebbled nippled and looked up at his face. His eyes were closed and his mouth was dropped open. His chest was rising and falling rapidly as she nipped with her teeth gently.

Harry groaned and opened his eyes, lifting his head to watch her work over him with her teeth and her tongue, “Fuck, baby.”

Y/n grinned and lifted her mouth from his skin, “Harry, your body is fucking incredible. I could lick and kiss it all day long.”

With her eyes on his she leaned down and stuck out her pink tongue to drag up from the underside of his peck up to his other nipple. She pulled it into her mouth and scraped her teeth over it before kissing it. She dotted warm pecks upward to his clavicle and licked as she went.

Harry’s whimpers grew desperate as he watched her lick and kiss his skin. But he needed to have her on him. His cock was aching and with the sweet and adoring attention she was giving him with her tongue and her lips he was going mad.

Harry grasped her hips and the pathetic whine that fell from his throat had her peeking up at him again, “Please, angel. I need you to fuck me.”

And well, that was all it took. He had said please after all. She lined up herself over his tip and began to sink over him, her pelvis tilted into him, “Okay, baby. I’ll fuck you now. God I need you too…” they moaned loudly as she slid over him until her pussy lips were kissing the very base of his cock.

She kept her hands pressed to his chest as she gently rocked herself over him. Harry moved her up and down slowly, keeping his hands on her bottom, and watched her pretty face contort at the feel of him splitting her pussy apart on his big cock.

“God you’re already creaming all over baby. So fucking wet I can hear it.” Harry spoke through gritted teeth. He loved the way she looked on top, her tits gently jiggling at each roll of her hips, her wet mouth dropped open, her eyes fluttering open and closed in ecstasy.

“You make me so wet, Harry. No one gets me wet like you. I need you…” she groaned as she bucked her hips down over him.

“Yeah? Need me, baby? I can tell…” he gasped when she clenched over him, “Can tell by the way you’re fucking yourself on me. Gonna get yourself off on my cock, angel?”

Y/n keened when Harry lifted his hips up the tiniest bit, forcing his cock deeper yet. A delicious sting.

“Harry… fuck!”

Harry breathed in a shaky breath and pulled at her elbow to bring her body down toward his. He wanted more contact. Wanted her closer. Wanted to kiss her as they both released together because he could tell she was nearly there.

The moment her lips were pressed to his he bent his knees slightly and tilted his pelvis upward so he could thrust into her as she fucked herself down onto him. Wet squelches and soft gasps surrounded them as they kept their bodies connected, on edge, trembling.

One of Harry’s hands smoothed down to her bottom while he took his other to bring her fingers into his. He wanted it sensual, erotic, soft, lusty. There was something about fucking Y/n and having his lips on hers and her hand in his that was making his heart swell with affection. He’d never have enough of her.

She shivered over him and he knew it wasn’t because she was cold. There was no way her body was cold with the way they had been going at it. No. He knew her shiver was because she felt it. Felt what he was. Knew this was it for them.

Her breasts were smushed into Harry’s chest and her thighs were squeezing around him as she continued pushing herself down over him. Her small hand in his with her fingers threaded between his was warm.

“Shit… you coming baby?” Harry felt her limbs tense and the tight muscle at her entrance grip around his cock in pulses.

“Fuck… yess! Fuck!” She couldn’t stop her orgasm from finding its way to the surface. She hadn’t expected it to burst out of her so quickly but having her hand surrounded by his while his cock was buried inside of her was not a casual sex move and that notion alone had her spinning out of control.

He was holding her hand and kissing the edge of her mouth through it all and now that she was coming around him, he squeezed her hand tighter and whispered to her through her orgasm, “There you go, angel. Made for me, aren’t you? My good girl…” she writhed and whimpered in her climax and he could tell it felt good. Could tell she was getting what she deserved.

Harry let her spasm around him for a moment longer until he couldn’t hold on for another second. He lifted his hips and gasped as he spurt into his condom. Gushes of hot come filling the rubber tip as he throbbed inside of her.

She felt his prick pump against her slick walls as he came. His breath was caught in his throat as he released into his condom. The grasp he had on her hand was locked down hard. She would have complained that it hurt but the last thing she wanted to do was have him release her in any way. She always wanted this with him. The closeness, the intimacy. The insane connection they had.

When Harry finally filled his lungs with air and his face relaxed her felt her slumped into his chest. He loosened his grip on her hand but didn’t let go. He wouldn’t let go. Never.

She’d passed out. Simply exhausted after Harry had handled her body like he owned it. Exhausted after giving every inch of his body her attention and love because damn did he deserve it. He was breathtaking. The man deserved to be worshipped. He was stunning and the way he gave himself to her was mind-blowing.

.           .           .

Blinking her eyes open the morning light was barely peeking through the window. It must have been super early. He was still asleep next to her. Hair a mess, cheeks smushed, small breaths puffed out from his mouth (he slept with his mouth opened she learned after the few times they’d slept together).

She was feeling something deeper for Harry than she wanted. The guilt about ignoring Jimmy and going home with another man was eating at her. Jimmy didn’t deserve that. He was a nice guy. A normal guy. But Harry was different. And it wasn’t just because he was hot and famous. It was because they understood one another in a way that she didn’t know if she’d ever get to with Jimmy. And that didn’t feel great.

Especially because Harry was… well he was Harry Styles. Falling for him would be dangerous and she’d have her heart broken. She could fall for him too. Another round of sex like they’d had the night before and it would be over for her. She’d tip over the edge of no return and need him in a way he’d never need her. She might just have to settle for Jimmy in that case. Perhaps that would really be as good as it could get for her.

Slowly slipping out of his bed she went to the bathroom with her phone.

She powered it back on and cringed when she had a couple of missed notifications from Jimmy. Not only had she kind of betrayed his trust and slept with someone else after he asked her to come over, but she wasn’t totally honest with Harry either. Hadn’t told him about the guy she’d been dating. A guy she was working on getting to know and could see herself dating long-term. Well, she could have seen Jimmy as someone long-term had it not been for Harry being so goddamn perfect.

Could she see herself with Harry long-term? She could actually but the reality was he probably didn’t see her in the same way. She chalked up his words and the intimacy with him just being a very sensual and sexual and vulnerable man. He was probably that way with everyone he slept with. She didn’t want to assume it was because he liked her just as much as she liked him.

Splashing her face with water she sighed as she looked at herself in the mirror. She knew what she needed to do. To protect herself. To make things right.

She needed to go home and tell Jimmy everything. And then she needed to decide if she could see herself being exclusive with Jimmy or not. Could she settle? She’d let Harry get under her skin. She didn’t know how he’d done it so fast but maybe it was just his natural charm. Whatever it was, she knew Harry would be okay. Knew it was unlikely that he felt anything close to how she was feeling.

Her Uber driver arrived faster than she thought. She rushed out of Harry’s bedroom, down the stairs, and out the door, before she even had time to write a little note. She fully intended on doing that but it was too late. It was time to put it all behind her. Maybe this was going to get Harry out of her system once and for all.

But she could be dumb at times.

.           .           .          

Instead of coming clean to Jimmy right away, she broke down the moment she got into her bedroom. She regretted everything. The way she handled Jimmy. The way she gave in to Harry. The way she left Harry without saying goodbye.

What was she thinking? She was too young to be going through a midlife crisis but she was at an age where she needed to grow up and start making big girl decisions. Settle down with a good man. Jimmy was surely that man. A normal guy. Someone in her league. But maybe she so easily gave in to Harry because Jimmy still had his dating profile active and that stayed with her in the back of her mind. Their casual dating relationship meant they were allowed to see who they wanted.

But Harry was… There was something there. Something else that she didn’t have with Jimmy. That she wasn’t sure she’d ever have. But that was why she needed to cut it out with the famous man. He was famous. He was exceptional in so many ways and there was simply no way he’d feel for her what she felt for him. He was too good to be true.

The messages from both men continued through the day. She shut her phone off when she got to work. She just couldn't face it. Couldn’t deal with it. Tomorrow. She’d figure it out tomorrow. Explain everything to Jimmy and to Harry. Harry would be okay. She knew he would be. He’d probably felt relief that she didn’t stay in fact. Made it easier for him so he didn’t have to break it to her that that should be their last time together. Though, she hadn’t read any of the messages he sent (she simply couldn’t bring herself to) she was sure he would be the easy one to deal with. Jimmy, though… She hoped he’d forgive her. But she knew she needed to call it off with Jimmy as well. Nice enough, a great guy for just about anyone. But maybe not for her. Especially not when she couldn’t stop comparing him to Harry. So she’d made up her mind. She’d call Jimmy the following day and sort things out with him. Tell him they had a good run and then that would be that.

But sometimes things in life don’t always go as one imagines. Do they?

With her phone shut off, she had missed the calls and the subsequent texts from both men. She had not realized that they’d both texted her that they were going to be waiting for her at her house when she got home because they needed to talk. She had not imagined pulling up to her little rented bungalow to see three men standing in her front yard.

There was Brad, mediating the whole scene, standing between the two men she’d been ignoring for the entirety of the day.

Then there was Jimmy with a red face and posture that told her he was feeling quite insecure about something. Of which she was sure she had a good idea.

And there was Harry. Pacing. With his hands in his hair and his mouth moving as he said something that had him excited.

The three men suddenly stopped as she pulled in front of the house. All three sets of eyes on her. She had been avoiding simply responding to them. Assuming she’d have time to get her thoughts together. But now she had no choice. She was being forced to confront them.

Harry began to walk toward her car first. But then Jimmy followed too. Both men spoke to one another animatedly as she opened the door.

“Nahh… back off man,” Harry spoke to Jimmy but kept his eyes toward Y/n.

“No. I’m not going to back off…” Jimmy quickened his pace when he noticed she’d gotten out of her car.

“Y/n…” Brad spoke over the two bickering adults, “You probably have some explaining to do to these two. Do you mind taking over here?”

“I… yeah. Of course. I’m so sorry, Brad.” She looked between the three men as Brad waved and walked back into the house.

Jimmy’s face was bright red, “Y/n, tell him we’ve been dating. He seems to think you are his girlfriend.”

Looking at Harry she opened her mouth to respond but stopped at the insinuation that Harry implied she was his girlfriend.

Girlfriend?

Stepping into her yard Harry stood in front of her and then Jimmy next to him both men looking at her in question.

“Uh… I’m… I don’t know what to say. I’ve been dating Jimmy,” she gestured at the man and looked at Harry, “but we’re not exclusive, and then… Well, I saw Harry last night,” she stuttered her words. Her heart was pounding. She was not looking like a good person in this situation. But it was too late now.

“I don’t care that you were dating someone. What happened between us last night… that meant something to you. Didn’t it?” Harry spoke as he gently brushed his fingers against hers, a little spark of life, a signal that he was there and she was safe with him.

She was a bit stunned by all this. Hadn’t expected Harry to say that. Hadn’t expected to see both men in her yard, apparently arguing over her.

“But we’ve been dating for almost 2 months. I think she and I have something special. And I know we haven’t specifically said we were exclusive but–“

“Well, I’ve known her for nearly… what 5, 6 months now?” Harry looked at her as he spoke.

Y/n stood still looking from Harry to Jimmy who continued, “So what is it? Are you with me or are you with him? I didn’t know you were dating someone else.” He was flustered. In comparison to Harry, he was not calm nor gentle.

“I… I’m sorry,” She shook her head and felt her face grow hot and her head dizzy. She was embarrassed.

There wasn’t anything else to say. Except that she was sorry. She really had liked Jimmy. But with the way she folded so fast with Harry, she knew she didn’t like Jimmy as much as she assumed. Because all Harry had to do was say a few nice things to her to get her back to his place and in his bed. She was a weak bitch. What could she say except sorry?

“Look. I’m sorry. Both of you. I have some explaining to do and I was going to… but why are you both here?”

“I came here to talk about this morning with you, Y/n. You left without goodbye and didn’t respond to my texts,” Harry spoke first.

“And you didn’t text me back last night when I thought we were making plans. I was worried about you.”

Blinking her eyes she realized without a doubt, that she was the heavy here. The rotten one. This was all her fuckup. Both men came to find her because she’d blown them both off. Ran away from her problems.

But she fully intended on being truthful. She just needed a minute.

“Fuck.” She cursed and ran a hand through her hair. “I was going to talk to you both. I just… I don’t know. I felt bad that I flaked out on you, Jimmy. I was never going to meet up with you last night after work and I should have told you that off the bat. And I was going to tell you but then I saw Harry and… I just felt guilty so I figured I’d apologize later.”

“That’s… kind of fucked up, Y/n,” Jimmy said as he put his hands on his hips.  

She nodded and looked at him. He was upset, “I know. I’m sorry.”

“And so you didn’t want to come see me last night because of him?” He gestured toward the man standing to his left.

Shaking her head she looked from Jimmy to Harry, “No. Before I even realized Harry was at the restaurant for dinner I planned on just going back home after my shift. I just never got around to telling you that. I didn’t want to see you last night.”

“But you went back to Harry’s house?” Jimmy asked.

She sighed, nodding, “Yes. I didn’t plan on it. It just happened.”

The silence was all-consuming. Y/n didn’t want to look at Jimmy’s disappointed face any longer so she glanced at Harry whose energy was opposite of Jimmy's. He was all soft eyes with a gentle expression. Comforting. She smiled at him. He felt safe.

“Okay. Fair enough,” Jimmy spoke suddenly, “So that’s it? Should I expect to hear from you again or…” he shrugged and looked at her hoping to hear something that gave him anything to hang on to.

Should he expect to hear from her? She liked him. She really did. But she could see it now that she didn’t like him enough. Even if perhaps she and Harry didn’t wind up together, the way she fell into Harry’s bed so easily and the way she lit up at Harry’s smile in that moment. The way he made her feel… it was over with Jimmy. She’d never feel that way with him.

“I think that’s it. Yeah. I’m sorry, Jimmy. I’m not sure what I was thinking but… I think this has run its course. I’m sorry,” she shook her head at the whole situation. She felt awful. Jimmy had been nothing but kind. But she just wasn’t feeling it she guessed. Not when she was feeling so much more with Harry.

She watched Jimmy walk away to his car and felt Harry’s hands pull at hers, “It meant something. Didn’t it?”

Looking up at the tall man in confusion she responded, “What?”

“Last night. I know you left without saying anything but now I get it. You were feeling guilty about that bloke. Right?”

Swallowing thickly she nodded, “Yeah… I just… I don’t know why I went back with you but it felt natural and this morning I was overwhelmed with guilt and didn’t really know what you wanted. You know?” She raised her brows and continued, “You’re… you. You’re Harry Styles. I’m just… me. Felt like I was playing some silly game with myself that was just gonna get me hurt.”

Harry’s hands cupped her face softly, “No games. I like you a lot. Couldn’t stay away from you. Last night felt like the beginning of something really special and I hoped you felt it too.”

She stayed silent as she looked into his eyes. His warm hands on her skin felt soft and tender. His thumbs grazed her cheekbones and she felt it. She did. She knew exactly what he meant. To hear him say it, though…

“I need to know what that means for you. Because, yeah. I felt it. I just don’t want to get hurt, Harry. You’re gonna go back on tour and you’ll see your ex and some other woman and I’m gonna get left behind again–“

“My ex? I didn’t see my ex. Nor do I have plans for that,” he laughed softly as he spoke.

“Well, I mean… I did see her post about crossing paths with someone and that cross necklace,” she shook her head and felt silly for even bringing it up as she looked at the expression on Harry’s face.

“She called me and I answered. She thought that meant something but really it was just me being nice. I don’t miss her at all. Have no intention of seeing her again on any level.”

She nodded at his words, “And the pretty woman that was with you on tour. Lots of rumors there too. Which is fine! You’re totally allowed to see other–“

Harry pulled her in close, stopping her mid-sentence, “She’s a friend. Someone I trust who I can vent to and confide in. She gave me lots of advice about you, angel. Told me to go after you. Told me she hadn’t seen me so excited about anyone ever before. I couldn’t stop talking about you.”

“So, you never slept with her?”

Harry shook his head and fit his fingers between hers, blinking softly, “Never. I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

Now she felt really bad. He’d been missing her and thinking of her all the while she was off with Jimmy trying to erase Harry from her mind, “I had no idea. I’m sorry that I didn’t… I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for. I admit, I didn’t try hard enough to stay in touch. That’s on me. But I don’t want that to ever happen again.”

“But now you must really think I’m trash. After all that?”

Harry shook his head, squeezing her hand, “Not at all, angel. I want to be with you. Don’t want you with anyone else, though,” he laughed, “And I’m not gonna think about whatever you had going on with that guy because you were just trying to get to know someone else. You thought it was over with us. But I don’t want it to be over. I want it to be me and you.”

She stood stunned. She just hadn’t expected any of this but it was more than she could have hoped for. She genuinely thought she’d misread all the signs. Yes, last night it felt like intimacy and deep connection but figured that was all coming from her end. She had tricked herself into believing he didn’t feel the same.

“Well? What do you think? Would you want to be my girlfriend? Make it official?”

She swallowed the grit down her throat and blinked her eyes at Harry. It all felt like a dream. Surely it was a dream.

“I do want that. So much, but…” she shook her head just as Harry grinned wide.

“So you’re my girlfriend now?”

Y/n puffed out a laugh and nodded, “I guess so. Yeah.” She couldn’t tamper her smile.

Harry released one of her hands and gently held the back of her neck as he leaned down to kiss her. And just like every other time her lips connected with his, she felt flushed and buzzy. Her skin prickled with excitement. Her sinuses burned as she held back stupid tears.

But she needed to say something else. And if this fiasco had taught her anything it was that she needed to be better at communicating.

Parting from the kiss, Harry kept her in his arms as she tilted her head to look up at him, “But what happens when you leave again, Harry? To another city? Another country? What does that mean for us?”

He brought his lips to her forehead before looking down at her again, his crystalline green eyes taking her in. He inhaled a deep breath, a serious expression on his face suddenly that had Y/n worried about the next words he was going to speak, “Come with me.”

He squeezed her closer if that were possible and she opened and closed her mouth a few times, shocked at his words and at what was happening. It was crazy, wasn’t it? To just leave everything behind and travel with Harry wherever he went? Surely this was just a beautiful dream she’d be waking from at any minute.

Harry shook his head and the edge of his pink lips quirked up on one side, “I won’t take no for an answer.”

A/N: This is the last part of this series! What did you guys think? Would you like to see some more of these two? Thank you so much for reading!

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[wordstome]

my königcore bible

[part 2] [masterlist]

I wanted to make a reference for influences on my own personal interpretation/thoughts on König, so here it is! Be warned, this is a VERY long post. All images have the link to the original post embedded, and most have a shortened screenshot so I HIGHLY recommend you visit the link. Some posts/reblogs don't exist anymore, so the link will go to my own reblog of that post.

I also do update this so like, check back once in a while to see what’s new!

(with my own tags)

(quote by julie buntin)

(lycheedr3ams)

(Caedis's headcanons had a big influence on me coming up with my own König. Julius is so lifelike I forget he's not a real person)

(all of salome's headcanons, tbh. just check her König tags)

(I think about this post every time I think about König's perspective on romance/sex/intimacy and how his horniness manifests. Rags if you see this, this post lives rent free in my head)

(anu-patten)

Please please click through and look at the art on this post, it's great. I just put the relevant part here.

(yawnderu)

I'm going to think about this one a lot (there's a lot more to this post than just this paragraph so please do click through on this one especially)

(kortacqueen)

[ifishouldvanish]

Some Olrox Analysis & Headcanons

Have you seen this man? Now you have! 🥰

I have a lot of thoughts about Olrox Castlevania Nocturne and I'm dumping them here.

DISCLAIMER: We know so little about Olrox's past and I am but a humble stan looking at an expressionist painting and projecting my own deranged nonsense onto it. I'm fully prepared for 90% of this to get jossed in season 2, but for now I'm just letting the worms in my brain wiggle and send me beautiful visions of what could be 🥹

1. Olrox Was a Commoner and Does Not Respect Hierarchies

I've seen people point to his manner of speech and dress as evidence that he must come from a privileged background, but I think he displays too much contempt for the wealthy/nobility to have been one himself. I think these things are just symbols of power he has learned to use to his advantage.

Of course, there's everyone's favorite quote: "I prefer my blood blue." But he also demonstrates virtually no respect for authority or symbols/institutions of power in general:

He refuses the escort sent by the marquis when he arrives in France and insists on staying at the inn because he likes to "keep his ear to the ground". He would rather be around 'the people' than accept anything from the wealthy.

When Drolta is reminiscing about her glory days as a priestess, there's really not any nostalgia or sentimentality when he interrupts and says "and now those temples are half-buried in dust."

For as good as he is at presenting himself as a Gentleman of Status, he cannot bring himself to even pretend to enjoy himself at Erzsebet's lil debutante ball at the chateau.

When Erzsebet insists she is a goddess, his response is "Of course you are, sweetie 🙂"

His whole speech to Mizrak in the morning-after scene is basically a deconstruction of what power means, and how it is only a perceived vs tangible thing, a temporary position vs an immutable one:

"There are petty demon princelings you can haggle with and cheat. There are demon charlatans whose faces you can laugh in, spit in. There are demons who once were gods... And those who still are."

Foucault? In MY anime adaptation of a vampire video game?? It's more likely than u think 🤔

(continued under the cut bc this got long as hell)

2. Olrox was an Adult when Cortés Arrived

(I don't have a relevant screenshot for this point, so here's Olrox being pretty for no reason)

I've seen it float around some places that if we adhere to historical timelines to a 'T', it would make most sense for him to have been a child, but I'm of the opinion that it's more useful to take what the text itself gives us and fill the gaps with bits and pieces of the actual history where it's convenient. At the end of the day, this is a work of fiction/fantasy. So what does the text tell us?

He lived a long time as human and vampire

As of 1783, he'd been a vampire for approximately 250 years

Now, if we want to take this 250 figure literally, that would put the year of his turning at 1533. But I think we can give ourselves +/-15 years leeway because 250 is just the kind of rounded, even number one would use in natural speech in place of "267" or some shit like that. It's just how believable dialogue is written. So what lies in this +/-15 year window? The invasion by the Spanish, 1519-1521.

Now, he tells Mizrak: "Long ago, when I was still human, I watched men wade ashore from ships..."

I think this is another case of how important dialogue is. Because if he was a boy at the time, this line would likely have been written as "Long ago, when I was just a boy..." or something like "One of my earliest memories is of..." instead. "Still human" implies not only was he a human, but that he had been human for quite some time already. That the events he's describing fall in the stretch of time leading up to "still human" no longer being true.

tl;dr: the Spanish arrival and him becoming a vampire happened within a few years of each other, and if turned vampires stop aging, then he would have had to have been an adult at the time.

3. Olrox Became A Vampire Willingly

I assume that vampirism is something that was introduced to the Mexica by the Spanish in the same way it was introduced to Haiti by the French, in Annette's case.

However, rather than vampires creating spawn left and right, the persistent lore (in the show at least) is that to be turned is to be accepted into the sort of elite in-group of vampire society. (Carmilla questioning why Lisa was never turned, the Count never turning slaves, etc). Vampires feed on humans, they don't view them as potential spawn to have in thrall or whatever.

The Spanish weren't going around giving natives The Bite, because vampirism is power. So what I think, is that Olrox recognized that power, and decided to take it for himself. Rather than being the passive 'recipient' of the 'gift' of vampirism, he pried it from some Spanish vampire's cold, undead hands. (i.e., he drank their blood)

Do I have any proof of this? No. It's just what the worms in my brain are telling me 🤷 But!!

Do I think it would be a sexy little inversion of the way Erzsebet drank a god's blood to obtain her power? Yes.

Do I think it would be thematically very appropriate for a morally grey character who seems to have a very... Interesting relationship with power (individual power vs institutional powers, the subverting of power, the weaponization of symbols of power, etc)?? Oh absolutely fuck yes!!1!

[sickos.jpg]

4. Olrox Was a Priest, But Not Like That.

Priesthood in the Mexica empire was largely dominated by the nobility, whose children would be sent to the calmecec to learn how to read and write, speak the noble dialect, perform rituals, etc. But if the circumstances were right, the children of commoners could also get in!

Olrox says he's never been much of a believer, but he's highly intelligent and incredibly good at reading people. Even if he was never a man of faith, the priesthood was still a powerful institution where one could climb the ranks and earn influence over the nobility. No doubt someone as sharp and charismatic as Olrox would be able to take advantage of the opportunity to get a good education and maybe try to undermine the system from within/play a bit of political games while he was at it.

Also... Olrox's weapon of choice is the dagger. Obviously a dagger is an appropriate weapon for a character who's kind of rogue-ish, but also consider: Aztec warriors used a lot of weapons in combat: clubs, spears, arrows, axes—but an obsidian dagger? That's something that would have been used by a priest during rituals.

5. Olrox is a Bitch™ Who Knows Just What to Say to Get Under People's Skin

A common myth is that the Mexica welcomed Cortés at first because they thought he was Quetzalcoatl. But this is a misreading of the way Mexica social conventions/the noble dialect worked, which was kinda ~passive aggressive in a way, such that the more loftily and overly politely you spoke with someone, the more you were actually telling them to go eat shit and die. I think Olrox's dialogue demonstrates this beautifully in the scene where he meets Erzsebet:

"Taker of Souls, Vampire Lioness, She Who Mauls, The Messiah of--" / "Yes, charmed to meet you 😒"

"Her magnificence has heard much about you." / "Flattered. For a god to have heard of me. 🥱"

"I am a goddess!" / "...Of course 🙂"

His words are receptive, respectful, docile, even... but his tone and delivery are completely the opposite. Compare this with the way he speaks with Richter and (in later interactions) Mizrak—which is more informal, open, confrontational. He's more direct with them because he actually respects them.

As far as reading and getting under people's skin with pinpoint precision, I present the following interactions:

When he catches the marquis' severed head in the catacombs, he reads him (and potentially also Drolta) like a book: "This one? He was just an opportunist, following the messiah because she's powerful. But there are those who love her [looks to Drolta]. So I'm told."

When Drolta gives him a verbal slap on the wrist for feeding on the wealthy, he says "mY Ap0LoGiEs, I didn't realize how invested you are in keeping the mortals happy." - To which Drolta goes on to grumble about how their alliance with some of the mortals disgusts her.

When Erzsebet is waxing poetic about how everyone will see her beauty and worship her, he has the balls to—without missing a beat—say "PaRd0n mEe, but you mean to do this through an alliance with a man who will never worship you? 🫢" right to her fcuuckin face mgod I love him so much (this is the point where she whips out the big guns and yells "I am a goddess!!" while threateningly flashing her orb of darkness btw. Like she did NOT like that)

6. Olrox Has an 'Eye for an Eye' View of Justice

A prevalent theme in Aztec religion is the idea that like... ain't nothin' in this world for free. Sacrifices to the gods weren't symbolic gestures of devotion, but an act of paying the gods back for providing humanity with the means to survive.

The idea that everything has a price pervades the dialogue he has with Mizrak in the morning-after scene:

"What was the cost? Who pays it? Just him? Or all of you? Will you? Which demon will claim his price when all this is done?"

And it's also present in the very first scene where we are introduced to Olrox:

"You see, your mama took someone from me I loved, just as much as you loved her. So, she had to die."

What's interesting about this scene is also how... calm he is the whole time—before the fight, after the fight. Yes, he's motivated by the murder of the man he loved, but he brings zero of that passion to this confrontation. It's just an execution, something inevitable that must be done.

That he's fine with confronting a terrified Richter immediately afterwards to explain what just happened (and is completely unapologetic about it) is also telling. It suggests that Olrox views this kind of thing as just 'the way of the world'—a hard truth that Richter will be better off for having learned sooner rather than later.

I think this also helps explain why, years later, Olrox seems to treat Richter with a little more.... Familiarity than we might consider appropriate. He approaches Richter in the catacombs like he's just an old acquaintance, as though Richter should have no reason to be terrified of him. When Drolta mentions the incident later, he seems kind of lightly amused by it. Then, when he drops off the book, he's visibly/audibly frustrated that Richter starts gearing up for a fight. To Olrox, the whole "killed your mom" thing is water under the bridge, nothing personal.

7. Olrox is a Vampire of Prominence in The New World

Obviously, he has to be kind of a big deal to give a Belmont a run for their money. But let's go deeper into the IMPLICATIONS!!

"In 250 years, do you know how many vampire hunters have promised to slice me in two?"

"Her magnificence has heard much about you."

"You will be her guide into America."

He's enough of a big deal that countless hunters have promised to kill him. Enough of a big deal that Erzsebet has not only heard of him, but sees him as a valuable ally who knows enough about America to guide her as she builds her empire across it.

Olrox wasn't just a powerful vampire who got entangled with the politics of colonial Massachusetts and happened to cross paths with a Belmont. He's presumably had a hand in matters across the continent. Erzsebet refers to the colonists as "American upstarts" but for her, this is a conflict between humans vs vampires. The American colonists aren't allies or even rivals to her—because they're not vampires. They're just more pesky humans to be dealt with. (Also??? 'Protestant Vampires' as a concept is just hilarious to me, I'm so sorry)

So.

What the worms in my brain are telling me is—And this is Big!! This is a Steaming Hot Take!!!

(...seriously, tin foil hat tier headcanon incoming)

Olrox has established a network of indigenous vampires who are resisting the colonial threat. He's been turning them (or at least select individuals who are into it), and thereby redistributing the power he took from the Spanish colonizers to wield against the British colonizers.

(Look I have 0.01% faith in this actually being canon or anything. I just think it would be cool as fuck.)

Anyway.

Thanks for coming 2 my Ted talk or whatever. 😘

[lazywitchling]

Alright, here we go. My review for The Dabbler's Guide to Witchcraft by Fire Lyte

Final rating: ??/10 - it broke my numbers system.

TL;DR - I like the book. I'm angry at the author. It's great for new practitioners. If you're going to get it, please get it from the Spiral House Shop, get Alex Wrekk's two witchcraft zines to go with it, and go look at/reblog/contribute to the original Dabbler's Week project.

(Also I think this is the longest review I've written yet. I'm sorry.)

This book is very good. I'm mad about that. The author is an excellent writer. I'm mad about that. I want to dislike this book but I can't, and I'm mad about that.

So let's get into the breakdown of why.

First up, a housekeeping thing: "Fire Lyte" is a pen name that I don't believe the author uses anymore, so I will be referring to him as Don Martin, the name he is using on his current projects. I know he's on TikTok, formerly of Inciting a Riot podcast, now of Head on Fire podcast.

Second, some links relevant to the review-which-is-actually-just-a-rant:

The breakdown of things I found that were taken uncredited from Tumblr

I COULD be making this up and reading it in bad faith, but this bit about 'heteronormative marriage' has my alarm bells ringing

Why I hate the title of this book

The original Dabbler's Week project links

Anyway.

I picked this book up specifically because of the title. It's been 3 years since it was published, so it took me a while, but I remember looking at that title when it was first out and thinking "Hey... the timing of this... did this person just wholesale lift the 'Dabbler' idea from Tumblr?"

The answer is: Yes, probably!

(He also summarized the Malachite Dick post from February 2020, but he actually credited Tumblr along with relevant usernames, so that's good and also made me laugh.)

But... yeah. The fact that he's crediting Tumblr from something that specifically happened in February 2020, when the original Dabbler's Week was from late January 2020 and seems to have inspired his whole book? Don, would it have killed you to mention ANYTHING about that project and the people involved?

He's very big on talking about following trails of information, listening to podcasts, listening to the podcasts of people talked about on those podcasts, reading books talked about on those podcast, and so on. But if he doesn't start off by saying "Dabbler's Week was a project issued by asksecularwitch on Tumblr", then how is anyone supposed to follow THAT chain of information, hmm? If his whole advice on finding good witchcraft resources is to follow the chain of people who are sharing information from each other, but he makes no mention of where he got the whole idea for his book, then what?

Side rant: I'm real tired of how Tumblr information is simultaneously treated as too shitty to ever bother reading or mentioning, but good enough to screenshot, repost on other sites, recite word-for-word on tiktok, and apparently write a book about.

ANYWAY. I'm angry about it. I'm gonna be angry about it. Here, please look at these links to the shenanigans that began the original Dabbler's Week, because Don certainly won't tell you about this part.

Anyway.

Some bad things:

I mean, the plagiarism. I keep hesitating to use the word 'plagiarism', because to me that seems like wholesale lifting entire works and slapping your name on them, when all Don did was fail to credit a few Tumblr users he quoted. But then again, if I did that on a research paper in college, it would be called plagiarism, so.

This book is in fact not a great guide for 'dabblers'. The point of Dabbler's Week was that if someone didn't know if they wanted to commit to witchcraft but wanted to fuck around with casting some spells for a week to try it out, there were week-long guides on things someone could do to try that. This book is not for fucking around with magic, it's for people who are already sure that they want to make this a thing in their lives. It handles some heavier topics (e.g. vetting mentors and not getting sucked into a cult) that are very very important for someone who is BEGINNING, but may be too much for someone who just says one day "lol I think I'll cast a spell for fun". A far more accurate title would have been "The Beginner's Guide to Witchcraft", but then he'd lose that punchy and marketable and googleable term 'dabbler'. (Yes, I'm going to be petty about this.)

"Wow Jes, it sounds like you really hated this book."

NO I DIDN'T, AND I'M SO MAD ABOUT THAT!

Some good things:

The author has a writing style that I enjoyed very much. This is a personal preference, but I like when books are either written so that the author is fully invisible (Bree Landwalker's books do this wonderfully), or the author is fully visible, like they're sitting at the table having a conversation with you (Kelly-Ann Maddox's 'Rebel Witch' comes to mind, as does Alex Wrekk's 'Brainscan 33: DIY Witchery'). Don Martin is the table conversation kind. That makes this book very easy to read, while also getting information across in an easily-understood sort of way.

This book fills a very necessary gap in modern witching books. It talks about the online community of witches, and a lot of the pitfalls that have come along with the bonuses of having so much witchcraft available at our social-media connected fingertips.

He gets very in depth with things like cultural appropriation. That's something that you can find in a lot of modern witch books, but Don actually spends the time breaking the concept down and explaining WHY it's harmful, HOW it affects people, and quotes people from the affected minority groups. I have seen the appropriation topic come up in a lot of the witch books I've read, but Don is the one who has covered the topic the best, imo.

He spends time on topics that I myself would have been dismissive of. The example that comes to mind is the chapter 'Can I Make Sh*t Up?' My knee jerk reaction was "Yes, you can make your own spells, you don't need to get someone else's permission. Next question." But Don goes through the full breakdown of yes you can make up your own spells, yes you can make your own correspondences, but no that doesn't mean you can just throw a water soluble crystal in your water bottle because you think it's good for cleansing.

Actually on that topic, he covers a lot of the why not just the what. It's not just 'appropriation is bad', it's 'and here's why'. It's not just 'research your herbs', it's 'here's some examples of things that can and have gone wrong.'

SPELL CANVASES! There are 11 'spell canvases' in this book, and they're pretty much all just kids/teens science experiments (e.g. dissolving an egg shell in vinegar, lighting a tea bag on fire so it flies, and using food dye to color a white flower). He does not give intentions for these spells, but gives a spell technique and then some examples of how you could apply your own purpose/intention to it as needed. It's actually pretty smart, and now I wish there was more stuff like this.

He actually explains what UPG means. Man, 'UPG' is one of those things that I keep seeing as a 'I don't know what that means and I'm to afraid to ask' blog post. When someone pops into the witchy social media circles, we can throw the term 'UPG' around as if everyone knows what it means, and forget to actually explain that it's Unverified Personal Gnosis and what that means. Don's got us covered. Good on you, Don.

The one throwaway line about why you don't have to buy fancy witch things. Tucked away in chapter 12 is this almost nothing-sentence mentioning why you shouldn't be "going broke hoping to buy your way into 'effective' magic" (pg. 161). I have seen, reblogged, probably written posts about 'No you don't need the fancy tools! You can just use whatever! But you CAN buy them if you want, you just don't NEED them.' And we've all seen those around, right? But damn, if Don didn't just get to the heart of it. You can't buy your way into skill. YES, Don, THAT!! THANK YOU.

Alright. I'm running out of words. This isn't a review, it's a rant. Holy shit. Let me shut up with a TL;DR

Almost without doubt, Don liked Tumblr's idea enough to write a book about it, but failed to give credit. But he's an excellent writer and covers a lot of topics that are not often written about in printed books, and to get those blogosphere-ideas onto bookshelves is invaluable. This is a good book for beginners starting out in witchcraft, but not for dabblers who just want to screw around with some spells. Do the pros outweigh the cons? Is it ethical to buy a book when the author gets royalties but the bloggers he got the idea from do not? I don't know. I can't tell you that. You'll have to weigh all this against your own moral compass and decide for yourself. My recommendation is that if you're going to buy it, please buy it from the Spiral House Shop, because if Don Martin's going to get paid for this book, Alex Wrekk should too. Buy Alex's zines. Reblog Sec's posts. Links are up at the top.

[matan4il]

That CUPE poster is fake. I don't know why someone would try to frame a Canadian workers union like that, but that is NOT the kind of thing they post, ever. They are in support of minorities and deal with Canadian issues and working conditions, not international conflict. And they would absolutely NEVER make a horrific poster like that. See for yourself: instagram . com/cupeontario/ and instagram . com/cupe_scfp/ and they're on Twitter and stuff too. The pixelatedness of that poster speaks to how fake it is too, none of their other material looks anything like that. And while Fred Hahn has posted/retweeted some stuff about the conflict on his twitter, he has never posted anything inflammatory like that and the reply of his that is in the screenshot is replying to something completely different.

Hi Anon,

I'm gonna reply to you and to the following ask together.

https://www.tumblr.com/matan4il/742531713829404672 This is a faked image; CUPE may have problematic opinions, but it doesn't help anyone to falsify atrocious posters when the reality should be more than enough.

Here's the post in question, showing a poster with the photo of Shani Lock's stripped, raped and murdered body being kidnapped into Gaza. The poster has CUPE's logo, as well as a text that legitimizes the Oct 7 massacre. CUPE, as mentioned above, is a Candian workers union.

Here are the links to the two IG accounts of CUPE from the first ask. To fthe first anon, you're right that the poster in question does not currently appear on either, you're wrong that they don't touch upon international conflict, they def weighed in on this one (more on that later in my reply).

The poster does use the pink filter and the CUPE logo with the right font, but it's true that someone skilled enough with photoshop can fake that. At the same time, if that person was good enough to be able to copy that well CUPE's visuals, I doubt they would be "exposed" through pixelation, so rather than proof of photoshopping, the pixelation seems to be a result of zooming in on the poster to show just a part of Shani's body along with the text. That would make the pic appear pixelated, and then a screenshot was taken that way.

So far, I would say nothing's conclusive one way or another. The poster isn't on the IG accounts, but it could have been there and deleted, or could have been posted on another social media site to begin with, the visuals being the right ones doesn't prove anything, and neither does the pixelation. BUT since I noticed the dialogue about the poster seemed to have taken place on Twitter, I went to have a look there.

I found the post where someone quote retweeted Fred Hahn, asking him about that Oct 7 poster, along with Hahn's reply that CUPE had nothing to do with it, and then he added the false accusation of genocide, telling people to "focus" (because apparently Jewish pain is never the main focus, not even when we talk about the Holocaust, which is the term for the genocide of the Jews at the hands of the Nazis... there's a reason I mention this, I'll get back to it later). I will keep my mouth shut about how many ignorant, antisemitic, anti-Israel tweets I had to see as I was scrolling in order to get to the relevant one, I'll just say that workers unions that want to be safe for Jewish workers as well should do better than that, including when the heads of these unions post on their "personal" accounts (since they're not posting as a private person, they're posting as the head of said union). Here's the exchange, dated Feb 14:

But the person who challenged Fred Hahn did mention where this poster was supposedly originally shared:

Apparently, CUPE has local branches, with numbers, and each has their own Twitter account, so I went to CUPE 3906, and went all the way back to their tweets around Oct 7. Needless to say, this official account is full of anti-Israel, antisemitic propaganda, too. Now around the relevant date, what does their timeline look like? There's one last pre-war tweet on Oct 6, a general anti-colonial one re-tweeted on Oct 7 (even though the timing makes the context obvious, the wording doesn't explicitly mention either Israel or Gaza), and then the next, VERY interesting tweet is on Oct 11. Here's the relevant segment (obviously the tweets appear with the latest at the top, older below):

Here is that Oct 11 tweet, which is a statement made in response to backlash they got for a tweet that they say was "made in solidarity with Palestinians."

Only the first paragraph is truly relevant, but the last one is also telling. "As the death toll rises," they said, just a day after Israel's counter action started, and while Israel was still counting its dead from the deadliest day in the history of this conflict, and the biggest massacre of Jews since the Holocaust. Still, the more important part is that if there had been nothing wrong with the tweet they refer to in the 1st paragraph, it should have still been up on their account, but it's not. Something was there and deleted, because there's now NO TWEET between Oct 6 and this statement, that could explain getting backlash... Deleting the tweet indicates they KNOW something was wrong with it, and they no longer wish to be publicly associated with it. But what was it? Have a look at this tweet, replying to CUPE 3906 on Oct 11:

It explicitly mentions rape. If the above poster was a fake, photoshopped and shared online in February 2024, how did someone posting in October 2023 know to mention rape specifically, and not just CUPE 3906's general justification of the massacre?

I can't prove anything one way or another regarding a deleted tweet, and with the progress of fake images, no one else can either. But I feel like the general progression of events indicates to me that it's more likely the poster is real, CUPE 3906 realized they won't get away with it, deleted it, and then they all closed ranks, claiming the screenshot is fake. Again, whatever they posted in the deleted tweet had to be real bad for even people as one-sided as they are (with all of the anti-Israel and antisemitic stuff they do proudly still have up on their accounts), that they were compelled to delete it. And justifying not just the massacre, but the rape specifically, might just do that.

Now let me get back to the IG accounts that the first ask pointed to, because even though they post less frequently than the multiple Twitter CUPE accounts, they're still very clear regarding this union's bias, and I'll also get back to that Holocaust mention, as promised.

I did not find a single post of solidarity with or compassion for Jews on either IG account following the Hamas massacre. I did find, on the Ontario account (and cross posted to Twitter, too) shared on Oct 10 a post that states they stand with the colonized over the colonizer, while the image (as well as their anti-Israel tweets) makes it clear they're erasing Jewish history and native rights in the Land of Isral and Jerusalem. The image could have been inclusive, show both mosques and the Western Wall, but nope. Jews are excluded from this image of our holy city and historical capital.

I also found a post about Holocaust Remembrance Day, which presents the Holocaust as including Jews. To make it clear, as someone who works in the field of studying this: "The Holocaust" is a term which is meant to reflect the Nazi intention to fully annihilate the Jews, something that didn't characterize their policy with other minorities. This is why we distinguish the Holocaust, the genocide of the Jews, from the persecution of other minorities by the Nazis. BOTH matter, and we talk about and educate against both, but they do have different characteristics, and so these are events, which are related, but CANNOT be reduced into one framing term. It is so problematic, talking about an event that was specifically about the Jews, as 'including Jews.' But let's say maybe that was ignorance, a lot of people don't get this distinction. CUPE's text doesn't mention antisemitism once, in a post about the most extreme antisemitic event in history, at a time when antisemitism is reaching its peak since WWII. When CUPE posted nothing else about this rise in Jew hatred, this text is just NOT good enough.

And what makes it even more obvious that CUPE is not treating Jews as it does other minorities, is that the same account DOES include posts that are specific to other communities, and does center the term for their hatred and persecution. They shared a post about a mosque attack that occurred in 2017, and in the text, they don't hesitate standing in solidarity specifically with Muslims, and against Islamophobia. So, to CUPE, 6 murdered Muslims are worthy of centering in the post about them (rightly so), but at least 6 million murdered Jews are not. Worse, the post then goes on to repeat the false claim about a genocide in Gaza. It also mentions the rise in Islamophobia following the war, even though they posted NOTHING, on NONE of the accounts I looked at, which recognizes the much greater rise in antisemitism we've seen over the same period of time, and which was launched by an attack on Jews.

The bilingual account, which I guess is a national one, didn't even mention Holocaust Remembrance Day. But on the very same date (Jan 27), it did mention the 2017 mosque attack, as well as Islamophobia, anti-Palestinians, but not a word on antisemitism.

All of this together is so upsetting, shows such a deep lack of concern for the well being of Jews, such a strong bias against the Jewish state and Jewish identity, that I honestly wonder whether that one poster is truly an issue. If it was posted by CUPE 3906, as I tend to believe by all signs I've seen, it seems to be a continuation of everything CUPE is completely unashamed of. And if they didn't share that poster, well... I guess there's a certain amount of poetic justice about being accused of something you didn't do, and no one listening to you protesting against the lie, eh CUPE?

You're welcome to do with this what you will.

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

[dnpbeats]

omg PLS share any other philslion tweets that sound like dan. after reading the one about flooding in australia it’s impossible to not read them in his voice afsjdkdkj

I KNOW!! tbh that was the nail in the coffin for me, it was just such a dan thing to do 😭 okay!! here's loads more, none of them really prove anything on their own but certainly all together I think it supports that dan could've run the acc

this tweet, not sure what it's "answering" as the tweet before it doesn't have any questions. but we all know how scared dan is of spiders:

tweet mentioning being a dinosaur I think we all know how that relates to dan. the link is a screenshot of a subscribe button, tbh idk how it's relevant to the tweet but lol:

tweet which just has a lot to unpack tbh. a little bit nonsensical (☑️ dan), about "finding a new lion [companion]" (☑️ dan), ends up just being an emo tweet (☑️ dan), plus bonus bc we literally just had Phil tell us that he and dan are pretty much the same person!! like looking in a mirror in other words! (also peep the typo lol, dan has a whole vid on them. I also swear there's a vid where Phil makes fun of dan for a typo "you did a typo" but idr which it is):

tweet that quotes lyrics from the sound of music. this would've been around 1am on nov 11 for d&p. they were together nov 6-9 and again starting nov 29 (lmk if you want screenshots of the timeline, this is when they both posted a bunch of sad tweets about missing each other lol) so the lyrics fit with dan missing phil but knowing he was gonna see him again:

also this tweet about missing someone during the same break (first line is a beach boys lyric):

then there's this tweet. the "break" is just referencing the fact that the acc hadn't been used in a few months. but Imo "I had a little trouble with my insides" sounds like some sort of mental health thing:

there might be more I missed bc I kind of went through the account out of order lol. I'll post if I find any more :)

[fantastic-nonsense]

You mentioned about your cass cain reddit post (read it all and loved it btw) that you knew even more behind the scenes dc drama than what made it into the post. If you’re comfortable with it and still remember, would you like to share some of the behind the scenes dc drama that didn’t make it into that post now? (Ofc just ignore/delete this ask if you’re not comfortable with it I was just curious XD)

Necessary context: this ask is referring to this write-up I did for r/HobbyDrama a little over a year ago, which I offhandedly mentioned to a couple of people awhile back was "9 pages in a Word doc and STILL left a bunch of stuff out."

Okay so most of the stuff I left out, I left out because it was more about Barbara or Steph and the larger situation around how DC handled the Batgirl mantle more generally than it was about Cass and the whole debacle that happened there. Since the post was already getting so long, I chose to just not talk about a lot of that for length purposes and to keep the write-up more focused on a) Cass as a character, b) editorial or creative decisions that actually impacted Cass specifically, and c) top-level issues, since the write-up was geared towards an audience who largely doesn't read comics. I also left a few things out because they're somewhat hearsay and/or "known to be true but technically unverifiable information," mostly for credibility reasons.

Largely, the thing you have to understand about DC's treatment of Cass is that there was a major power struggle at DC between those who wanted Barbara Gordon to become Batgirl again and those who wanted Cassandra Cain to remain Batgirl. The "Babs vs. Cass" fight and viewing Cass's treatment within the context of this massive internal push for Batgirl!Babs is the backdrop through which the majority of this industry drama needs to be understood, because otherwise a lot of the stuff that happened to Cass doesn't make much logical sense.

So, with that being said...here's a list of eight things I either cut entirely or barely mentioned that may not necessarily be directly related to Cass but are nonetheless relevant to the larger debacle of "DC's mishandling of the Batgirl mantle" that impacted Cass's character trajectory. General warning for the immense psychic damage you will inevitably experience if you read this and its length, because between the screenshots and quotes and explanations this ended up being much longer than I expected it to be.

Yvonne Craig: The first major thing that I chose to cut was a paragraph about Yvonne Craig, the actress who played Barbara Gordon in Batman '66, and the near hero-worship that a lot of (specifically middle-aged, white male) creatives, editors, and managers at DC had for her. Basically, the broad strokes of this issue is that due to their weird obsession with Yvonne Craig's Babs–which is probably due to them having childhood crushes they never got over–several men with power within DC (including Dan Didio himself) shared a sentiment that Barbara was the "one true Batgirl" and no one else but her should ever be Batgirl. Basically: if Barbara Gordon couldn't be Batgirl, Batgirl as a mantle wasn't worth using at all. This led a concentrated decade-long effort to put Babs back in the Batgirl cowl, which obviously influenced the various attempts to push Cass out of the role.

I chose to cut it for two reasons: it was more related to Babs and why there was such a coordinated effort to make Babs Batgirl again rather than Cass as a character unto herself, and it's largely "very well-respected and often-repeated hearsay, but still hearsay." The prevalence it had within the rank-and-file creatives at DC is suspect, but we know that several prominent creators, editors, and upper management shared that perspective (even if they largely don't talk about it on-record). We know this sentiment absolutely existed; Scott Peterson, for example, talked a bit about how "crazy he was for Yvonne Craig" in his interview about creating Cass. It's just not a particularly well-sourced discussion point and was more suited for a write-up on Babs than it was a write-up on Cass.

Batwoman's Costume Design: I barely mentioned Kate in the write-up and only in relation to how Cass's book was cancelled to make way for the theoretical Batwoman solo book that never happened, but there's actually a lot of really interesting industry drama behind Kate's creation. Specifically as it regards Batgirl...Kate's costume was originally meant for Barbara, per Alex Ross:

"The design I did was initially for the proposed idea of a new version of Batgirl, so it was intended to be another stab at bringing back Barbara Gordon, or having the new Batgirl be costumed as a tribute to her, maybe even with a red-haired wig." -Alex Ross, "Giving Batwoman Her Look"

Ross and Paul Dini had been planning to revive Babs as Batgirl for years, but Bat Office Head Editor Denny O'Neil was staunchly against it so it never happened:

"Paul Dini had this idea of putting Barbara Gordon in the Lazarus Pit to revive her…spine, I guess," Ross said. "At least, that's what he would've done in the television show had they continued doing more cartoons, and her spine was broken the way it was. I thought it was a great idea, and we pitched then-Batman editor Denny O'Neil with these drawings of that costume design.........and that went nowhere. Denny shot it down, because, according to him, everybody loves Barbara Gordon as Oracle and as a handicapped character. The theory was that DC didn't have enough handicapped characters, so they weren't going to do anything with Barbara as she was. And the design went into the drawer." -from "Giving Batwoman her Look"

When O'Neil retired in 2002, the floodgates opened and we started seeing a concentrated creative/editorial push to make Babs Batgirl again. Of course by that time Cass was already well-established, so Ross's design was later re-purposed for Kate Kane's Batwoman and the power struggle largely manifested in a gradual sidelining of Cass from major Bat events (starting with Hush, as I mentioned in the write-up) in an effort to pave the way for putting Babs back in the cowl. Which brings me to the next piece of industry drama I cut.

War Games: There's...a lot of industry drama behind both the conception and execution of War Games. Most of it isn't particularly relevant to this answer or the original write-up, but there are two things that are. One, the fact that Stephanie's death was mandated by editorial and everyone involved knew it was coming. This is what prompted Steph's temporary takeover of the Robin mantle. Depending on who you believe, either Robin writer Bill Willingham, Batgirl writer Dylan Horrocks, Detective Comics writer/Bat Office editor Andersen Gabrych, or Dan Didio himself suggested that Stephanie become Robin as a story trick for readers and a sort of narrative "consolation prize" in preparation for the fact that they were about to kill her:

“The whole way through it was planned purely as a trick to play on the readers, that we would fool them into thinking that the big event was that Stephanie Brown would become Robin but we knew all along it was a temporary thing, and she was then going to die at the end of this crossover story.” -Dylan Horrocks at Auckland Writers and Readers Fest in 2011

"I knew coming into the Robin series that Spoiler was doomed to die. And I wouldn’t have done that, but that was already locked in even before I came on Robin, so I had no point at which to say you shouldn’t do this. But, I did I have this hair-brained idea that, well, if she was going to die — she was such a frustrated character…I mean, everything she wanted out of life she pretty much didn’t get. So, can we give her one little reward before she dies and let her become Robin for awhile." -Bill Willingham for Word Balloon in 2012

"You know, me and Stephanie, we go way back. The story with Stephanie Brown goes, they came to me as Executive Editor with the "War Games" story, and said 'we're going to kill Stephanie Brown.' I knew Stephanie Brown for who she was, and said, 'I don't know, if this is going to be the big ending to your story it doesn't feel big enough at the time, because the character wasn't strong enough yet.' So I said, 'Why don't we make her Robin for a short period of time, build some interest in her, and then we kill her!'" -Dan Didio for Newsarama

Steph becoming the major collateral damage of the immediate post-O'Neil editorial era would later set the stage for why she was viewed as an acceptable compromise choice to become Batgirl during the Reborn era.

Two, the writer of Cass's solo at the time, Dylan Horrocks, was so discomforted and offended by the concept of the story (and particularly its treatment of Steph) that he deliberately kept Cass out of the event's "main action" as much as possible during her tie-in issues. This has been widely reported for years and while Horrocks himself rarely goes on record about it, he has made some comments that more-or-less confirm it:

Horrocks: "I'd write [Batgirl] very differently today....for me, it was...complicated. One day I'll write about the experience properly. The War Games event was deeply depressing." -Dylan Horrocks on Twitter in 2012/2013

Sidenote: War Games was actually the last straw for both Ed Brubaker and Horrocks; Brubaker was fed up with all the editorial mandates/executive meddling and Horrocks was frustrated by the Bat Office's misogynistic and grimdark story direction, so they both left right after (Brubaker for Marvel to write Bucky Barnes' resurrection and Horrocks for indie comics).

So why are Horrocks' writing choices relevant to DC's subsequent treatment of Cass? Well, as I stated in the original write-up, it heralded the beginning of a "there can be only one" era for female Bat characters. DC could handle the idea of several male Batfam members running around at the same time but apparently more than one female Bat at a time (regardless of moniker) was just too much for them. It was also the last major Bat event to feature Cass in any significant capacity until her post-reboot reintroduction. So while she was largely removed from the action for good reasons, War Games stands as a haunting precursor to the direction DC was headed with her character: sidelined and replaced in favor of characters editors were planning on using (Kate), could agree on using (Steph), or liked more (Babs).

Batgirl (2008)'s Sales Performance: I cut this bullet point largely because it's ultimately a footnote in the larger saga that was Cass's limbo years. Basically, after the resolution of the Evil Cass arc DC reassured fans that they "had plans" for Cass as Batgirl. This later manifested via her appearances in the Batman and the Outsiders (2007) run and (eventually) a new solo mini. Unfortunately, Batgirl: Redemption Run didn't perform nearly as well as DC hoped for a variety of reasons: many Cass fans swore it off due to it being written by Adam Beechen (the writer who wrote her heel-face turn in the first place), the first issue was poorly written, the story wasn't particularly engaging, etc. The tepid reception and subsequent poor sales of this mini were then used to retroactively justify booting Cass out of the Batgirl mantle entirely during the aftermath of Bruce's death in Final Crisis and the Battle for the Cowl event.

However, DC was already planning on taking Batgirl from Cass and giving it back to Babs at the time, and it likely would have happened even if the mini had done well. The way we know? This image foretelling the events of the Reborn era and Blackest Night was teased in the final issue of Dick's Nightwing solo, as was this one from the end of Babs' Birds of Prey run. That's not Cass kissing Dick, folks; that's Barbara Gordon, Batgirl once again. This planned choice was, as I stated on Reddit, later confirmed by Dan Didio in an Editor's Column during Steph's Batgirl run, who said that at one point Babs was "as close to being Batgirl again as Dick was to being dead in Infinite Crisis" (which is to say, very nearly a done deal). I suspect that only a last-minute internal writer revolt–particularly from Gail Simone, who we know was a vocal supporter of keeping Babs Oracle–stopped it from happening.

Cass's Absence in Battle for the Cowl: I mentioned this in the original write-up but largely glossed over the particulars. In-universe, Cass had just been adopted by Bruce, was fully Batgirl again, and was largely reconciled to the rest of the Batfamily after the Evil Cass arc. And yet her only appearances during the Battle for the Cowl event (and the aftermath of Final Crisis more generally) were cameos in the main book and a main role in the BftC: The Network tie-in oneshot. Literally the only thing she did for the entire duration of BftC was create the Network, which helped the Bats deal with Gotham rogues, and take out a few criminals alongside Huntress. So you have DC continually downplaying and sidelining Cass in a story where she reasonably should have had a major, co-starring role. This event also marked her final appearance as Batgirl, which leads into the next issue I cut.

Batgirl (2009)'s Marketing: this one's very complicated and doing it justice would involve tracking down a lot of old ads and interviews revolving around how DC solicited and marketed this book in the lead-up to the reveal that Stephanie Brown was the new Batgirl, which I simply didn't have time to do at the time of the original write-up and ultimately would have just sidetracked the whole thing, but in short: readers didn't actually know who the protagonist of the new Batgirl solo was going to be when the title was announced. DC had cancelled Birds of Prey and announced both a new Batgirl book and a miniseries called "Oracle: Search for the Cure" (which later became Oracle: The Cure). So Babs' return to the cowl was being solidly teased, but Cass was still Batgirl and showed no real signs of wanting to give up the mantle.

DC's marketing and editorial teams played up this ambiguity by baiting both Babs and Cass fans in order to drive sales: this included teasing ads, early issue solicts that deliberately obscured who was wearing the cape, and a refusal to confirm who the Batgirl of the upcoming solo title would be during interviews and con panels. They chose to heighten the ambiguity even within the title itself: early covers of the run often obscure Steph's hair, eyes, and sometimes even her whole face; the first two issue covers even feature Steph in both Cass's and Babs' Batgirl suits to heighten the confusion. So was the Batgirl of the new title going to be a newly "cured" Barbara Gordon, a second shot for Cassandra Cain, or someone new entirely?

Obviously, none of these things happened. As we all know, Stephanie became Batgirl. The choice to make Steph Batgirl was a compromise decision, as Didio mentions in his editor's note (linked above):

"After long discussions it was agreed that Oracle had become such a strong character there was no sense going back. And since we wanted to make a change, Cassandra no longer seemed right for the role (Not to worry Cassandra fans; plans are afoot, in a very big way, for our favorite non-lethal assassin in 2010). As for Wendy, Bette, and Misfit, none felt strong enough for the position. That left us with the one choice we all agreed on, Stephanie Brown......from the time of her death to the outcry for a memorial and ultimately to her return, there is no denying that her character had connected with a portion of our fanbase and, more important, connected to the Batfamily. It just seemed to make sense that she was the one, and given her history and ties to all the members of Batman's world, the potential is there to make this new Batgirl the one fans will be speaking about for a very long time."

So as previously stated, Steph's treatment during the War Games era ultimately set the stage for her to be the compromise choice for the new Batgirl; she became this interim buffer character because everyone at DC was fighting over Babs vs. Cass and she was the only one everyone could agree deserved the title, and she thrived in that role over the next two years. And a new Birds of Prey book was then announced in the aftermath of Oracle: The Cure and Blackest Night, so Babs' prominence as Oracle survived for another two years until the New 52.

But Cass? Well...Cass unceremoniously handed the Batgirl mantle off to Steph, seemingly fucked off for no discernable reason, and showed up in a grand total of six issues across the entire Batbook slate over the next two years while being largely written out of the Batfam's history and having her reasoning for leaving Gotham retconned from being a choice into being an order from Bruce. Which segues us directly into the next piece of drama that I somewhat glossed over in the original write-up.

The Reborn-era Editorial Erasure Edicts: Bryan Q. Miller, the writer on Steph's Batgirl solo, was under strict editorial edict to basically not mention Cass or include her in the run if he didn't absolutely have to. For example, when he asked editorial if there was a reason why Cass left Gotham, they basically told him "she leaves. why? Because she just does, so your book can exist. Come up with a reason to make her leave and then don't use her."

This era is still pretty opaque in terms of what we know about what various writers were and weren't able to do with Cass, but we do know that Miller specifically was disallowed from featuring her in-person in Batgirl and highly discouraged from mentioning her in general. However, he noted on multiple occasions that he liked Cass and would be happy to use her:

Babs and Steph are the core of this title, no doubt about it. While we'll have another passing reference/flashback to Cassandra soon, I'm leaving the rest of Cassandra's story to whichever lucky duck gets to write her elsewhere in 2010. As for Batwoman, I'm leaving Kate in Rucka's capable hands for the time being. -Miller in an interview with CBR in 2009

If at some point the story I’m telling feels like it can only be told with Cassandra as a part of it, then believe me, I’ll try to find a way to work her in. As it stands currently, however, Cassandra’s fate and future are not in my hands. -Miller in an inerview for Broken Frontier in 2010

Had the book continued past Issue #24, we know that Cass would have had a recurring role as Black Bat in the present day as well as being featured in a Batgirls time-travel story, teased through one of Steph's Black Mercy hallucinations in that final issue. Other than that, we still have no real idea to what extent Cass's presence would have been allowed in the Batgirl book had the New 52 not happened.

Now, I will note that some of the omissions of Cass during Steph's run were seemingly his choice. He's mentioned that he left Cass off of Steph's infamous "Batfamily whiteboard history lesson" cold open from Batgirl #15 on purpose, for example:

The reason she didn’t make the white-board history lesson for Wendy was simply that I didn’t feel it appropriate to poke fun at her. Steph has a smirky little good natured time editorializing the Bat family tree. To suddenly have a serious/tribute panel in the mix would have gotten in the way of the tone of the opening. Now, that’s from the writing standpoint. From a character standpoint, Steph drew for Wendy what she deemed to be the pertinent players on the Gotham board and their connections/histories, given her role as Proxy. You’ll note, she also didn’t mention her own role as Spoiler (though she just couldn’t RESIST drawing that adorable little Spoiler with the broken hearts over in the Tim/Robin section). -Bryan Q. Miller responding to a fan letter from Caitlin in 2010

It's certainly possible that the editorial edict surrounding Cass's presence in the book also impacted his decision to leave her out of the history lesson. We simply don't know. However, the above response is the only statement he's ever given on that issue and we've yet to hear anything to the contrary.

Outside of Batgirl, DC also went to considerable effort during this era to erase Cass's importance both as Batgirl and to the Batfamily more generally. From being basically excluded from every Bat book except Tim's globetrotting Red Robin book to descriptions like these:

Black Bat: one of several former (and temporary) Batgirls, the wonderful Cassandra Cain has adopted a new Batman Inc. identity as the Black Bat, operating out of Hong Kong. -Batman. Inc (HC Edition)

It was not a fun time to be a Cass fan.

Elsewhere, we know that Gail Simone was actively campaigning editorial to let her use Cass in a significant capacity in her relaunched Birds of Prey book. There was also a substantial rumor at the time that Cass would be taking the White Canary mantle from the villain Simone introduced in her opening arc (see this twitter thread for more on that). For varying reasons related to both DC's general treatment of Cass at the time and a hesitance to give Cass to Gail specifically (which I'll elaborate more on in a moment), neither of these things ever happened.

We also know that Scott Snyder loved Cass and tried to get DC to let him write a Cass story on multiple occasions–a struggle which continued throughout the early reboot years and eventually resulted in the creation of Harper Row, as I mentioned in the original write-up. He eventually managed to convince editorial to let him write Gates of Gotham, which co-starred Cass in a significant role for the first time since 2008 and ended on a good note...and also wound up being her final appearance in comics for nearly five years.

Other than Snyder and Fabian Nicieza (who wrote the majority of Cass's few Reborn-era appearances in Red Robin), critical darling and editorial favorite Grant Morrison was the only other writer who was allowed to handle Cass. They're the one who gave Cass the "Black Bat" codename in Batman Inc. #6 and supposedly wanted to do a Cass and Steph team-up later on in that book. Unfortunately, because of the impending New 52 reboot they were ultimately only allowed to use Steph in "Leviathan Strikes" (and even her ability to be Batgirl in that final appearance was up in the air for awhile, causing the book's artist make Spoiler!Steph sketches for the story just in case editorial nixed her appearance as Batgirl).

So going back to Gail Simone for a moment, why wasn't she allowed to write Cass in Birds of Prey? After all, she was one of the few female writers in the comic industry, and a successful, well-renowned one at that. She was writing a women-led book helmed by Barbara Gordon that had featured and guest-starred a wide variety of DC's female heroes over the years and was actively asking to use the character. Well, even besides the various editorial mandates sidelining Cass and keeping writers from using her, there was another problem.

Gail Simone's Proposed "Christian Conversion Arc": The year is 2006, we are still pre-Evil Cass arc, and Gail Simone has been asked by DC management to pitch what she would do with Dick and Cass if assigned either Nightwing or Batgirl to write. She never actually turned in a Nightwing pitch, though apparently she had pretty strong ideas, but she did turn in her Cass pitch. And what did Gail Simone come up with?

Cass saves a Christian minister from a robbery, discovers Christianity, and becomes a hardcore convert who quotes the Bible and talks scripture with gang members while wearing a white outfit and being called "Angel of the Bat" as she protects Gotham's homeless and marginalized residents. No, really. That was her pitch.

I can't even begin to explain how bonkers this idea is and how many problematic elements are baked into it both conceptually and in the inevitable execution had the pitch actually been greenlit. I could talk about how Gail presents a fundamental misunderstanding of Cassandra as a character throughout her description of the pitch. I could talk about how unsuited this kind of arc is for Cass more generally given her stories up to that point. I could talk about the racist history of Christian missionaries in Asia and the awful implications of Cass apparently needing to find God to look after Gotham's most vulnerable residents and be "genuinely happy for the first time." I could talk about how the Batfamily already had two sincerely devout Christian characters in Jean-Paul Valley and Helena Bertinelli and forcing that narrative onto Cass was doing nothing new or novel. I could talk about the problems with Gail, an atheist, deciding that this was an arc she felt qualified to write for any character (much less one like Cass).

Instead, I'll simply say that this failed pitch and Simone's consistently poor, exoticized handling of other Asian characters like Cheshire and Lady Shiva likely contributed to editorial's hesitance to hand her permission to write Cass during the Reborn era, and that I ultimately cut it from the Reddit write-up because I felt like including it would derail the post from talking about what happened to talking about "could have beens" (since this would have theoretically happened in place of the Evil Cass arc). It leaves Cassandra Cain as a truly good, kind person attempting to do good and save everyone she can rather than the racist caricature of a villain that we ultimately got; that's about the only good thing I can say about it.

......I'm sorry, everyone. I was going to do one final entry and talk about the Rebirth-era storytelling decisions and editorial edicts but I got to the end of this one and found I just couldn't do it anymore. I'm the embodiment of the Ben Affleck and Hayao Miyazaki smoking memes right now. I'm so tired, y'all. I'm so tired.

There's infinite amounts of racist, sexist, and ableist industry drama bullshit that I could cover related to DC's handling of the Batgirls and Cass more specifically and no write-up or additional posts will ever be able to sufficiently cover any of it with the depth, attention, and outrage it deserves. There's always more to talk about. There's always one more piece of awful bullshit to drag out of the shadows. There's always one more cut in the thousand fans have already talked about over the past twenty years. I could write a full-length book featuring several currently non-existent tell-all interviews with various creators and likely still not reach the bottom of the barrel. And the things that will likely never be public knowledge far outnumber the things we actually do know about DC's shitty treatment of Cass (and by extension Babs, Steph, and every other woman associated with the Batfamily).

And while things are better for Cass now than they were then, we're still far from any of the girls being treated well. Unfortunately, we still have a long way to go. One day, I hope this won't be the case.

[imminent-danger-came]

So I was wondering and isn't it weird that there are 10 different stone animal figurines in one photo. And we just happen to have 10 Kings of the Underworld? Could this be a hint from the creators that the woman created the 10 kings? I also noticed that there is a stone figure of a monkey. At first I thought hey it might be the same monkey figurine we were able to see up close, but no! There's a distinct difference between them. And here my question comes. Was there supposed to be 11 kings from the beginning instead of 10? (I've read your theories and they're awesome^^) And guess we'll see the fourth mythical monkey? Because if so, I can't wait :D

HEY WAIT A MINUTE.

For as much as I've stared at this screenshot I can't believe I didn't notice there was a DIFFERENT stone monkey in the background until now!

As for the 10 Kings of the Underworld, as far as my research has yielded they have no associations with animals and there isn't anything about a potential 11th King.

Now with the 3rd and 4th celestial primates, I have no idea if we'll see them! I have talked about MK potentially being the Long Armed Gibbon in the past, but it's not something I'm certain on. With writing theories you often just throw stuff out there and see if anything sticks.

HOWEVER.

Out of curiosity I did a little digging into gibbon symbolism in Chinese culture, and I found this lovely little quote:

In ancient China, gibbons were often considered being a symbol of the world of the supernatural, mysterious and remote from man's daily life. According to Taoist beliefs harking back to about 150 B.C., the occult powers of gibbons included the ability to assume human shape and to prolong their life to several hundred years. Even in later dynasties, gibbons often served as examples for the ideal human existence and were represented in numerous paintings of varying naturalism. (Gibbon Research Lab)

Now, I read "included the ability to assume human shape" and had to do a double take, because obviously that's something MK is distinctly able to do. It would help explain why MK took the form of a human child when he first meets Pigsy:

Gibbons being a symbol of the supernatural also feels very relevant to MK as a character. He wants to maintain a sense of normalcy ("Just like none of this never happened"), but that stopped the moment he picked up the staff. MK is now very separated from the daily life he used to have ("He's not even pretending to deliver noodles anymore" - "Seriously? You still think we're just some noodle delivery guy? You can't remember where we came from, and we got all this power, and you never once asked why us?").

And I just think it's neat!

[autumnslance]

Search, Tags, and Tumblr

Tumblr's search functions are notoriously weird, but there's a few common things to know about how it works in conjunction with Tagging. First things first:

-Tags are for searching but also personal blog organization as desired. This is why some folks have weird/funny personal use tags. Tags can use dashes and spaces, but not regular double quote marks ("), though single marks are fine (').

-Tag for what's in the post; adding other, unrelated tags "for visibility" is against Tumblr's TOS and gets you reported for Spam!

Example: if you make a post for your new Clive Rosfield screenshots, make sure you're only tagging terms relevant to Final Fantasy XVI and Clive Rosfield (and any personal organizing tags like "screenshots"); don't add tags like "Star Wars" and "SpongeBob", as Clive has nothing to do with those!

-Tag without censoring words! We use filters/blacklists here to avoid things we don't want to see. Can also work for words in the body of a post. There's no rules here against using "kill" or "death" or other terms defining common human experiences determined "too negative/dangerous" on other sites (stay civil to each other).

-If you do alt-spell things, it's only in the body of a post and usually when it's dislike of a fandom thing as a courtesy to those enjoyers. If I make a shipping post and say, for example, "I can't stand R3y|o", that's when I want to use weird spelling and symbols--and no common tags for that fandom! If you do use tags for organizing, keep it to things like "#anti (thing) or "#(thing) critical", again spelled correctly for others' blacklisting purposes and to keep it out of the Reylo Search and Tags so those fans can enjoy their ship without seeing negativity. Because...

-General Search pulls from Tags and Also terms found in the body of a post. If I just put "Thancred" in the Search bar at the top of the page, it'll show me any and all posts with "Thancred" in them, including 1) if the name is in the body of the post, 2) if the name is in a tag that's a sentence/includes other words, and 3) even if not tagged for Thancred.

This caused some wank a couple years back for certain fans when someone tagged a lascivious picture set with what they knew was a triggery NOTP for many...but they also put the characters' names in the post body, not realizing simply searching for either of those characters would pull it up (They also, IMO, should have put the images under a Read More to be doubly safe, for themselves and for others they knew might be upset stumbling onto said images, but the crux was not realizing how Tumblr Search worked).

-Tag Search specifically pulls from the tags; per Tumblr's info pages, the first 20 tags (out of 30 total allowed) now will show up in search. Common, consistent tags first are good for visibility. You can also Follow tags you want to keep track of; there's even a tab on your Dash for it.

-Reblogs do not show up in the searches, even with additions and new notes. However, a blacklist filter will catch tags put on the original post, even if the reblogger doesn't add it when it ends up on your Dash.

-You can also blacklist blog names/URLs. Think of it like Twitter's muting rather than a full block (though one can do that too, and should as needed).

Example: someone following Seanan McGuire doesn't like frogs, but she reblogs a lot of frogs. The follower blocked and blacklisted the blogs she often reblogs frogs from to minimize the number of frogs they see while still following a favorite author for her book info.

-If people ask you to tag a thing cuz it's a squick or full-on trigger, you can just do it, or you can politely say no; that's valid. It's up to that person then to decide if they want to blacklist or unfollow or block or what. Just be civil either and both ways.

In summary: if you're talking about bunnies cuz you took pictures at the local farm show, just write "bunnies" normally in the body and/or tags of the post, so anyone with "bunnies" blacklisted can avoid it--and folks who want to see cute pics of bunnies can find it!

Even if you use proper tags, or no tags, or only use alternate spellings in the post body to keep things out of the tags/searches, consider still using a Read More as a last line of courtesy to any followers or random folks you don't want to catch in the crossfire. Also consider hiding your blog from Search results, and/or Private posts.

Tumblr's Help Center (On Desktop browser, go to the "About" link, and then the "Resources" menu; on Mobile App, go to Account settings, General settings, scroll down to "Help" under "Account") has further info about Searches and Tagging (and everything else!), and as that info changes, it's a good idea to keep track of those page updates, as well as the @changes blog to keep track of new updates, bugs, recent fixes, and upcoming info.

[oldmanyellsatclouds]

Bad photos of visually uninteresting pages, but this is what my commonplace book looks like. I just looked for different examples of how I use it. Green for borrowed text, purple for organizational information/paraphrasing/my own words, red for emphasis.

I’m reading mostly about the intersecting of fiction and autobiography, and the creation of the sense of self. Last spread is quotes from Welcome to Nightvale that stuck out to me when I was listening regularly last year. I just screenshotted the timestamps when I was listening, and recently went back to the episodes to collect them into my commonplace.

I think this book is going to be mainly on the topics of collecting, archives, ghosts, autobiography/fiction, the self, but I’m not limiting myself to those topics. I’m waiting to be further along before I settle on my organizational categories for labeling & indexing.

As I’m reading more essays, I’m seeing links between them so I imagine I’ll be backtracking and adding more comments and my margins will become busier.

I’m working on being more selective of what quotes I keep, but I still have the very academic impulse to capture and condense essentially the entire essay (and the fear that the quotes I want to keep won’t make sense without the context). But what I actually want is to only collect the parts that are actually relevant to my own interests.

[lutiaslayton]

HI.

HELLO.

WHAT THE FUCK.

I used a different save on my HD UK mobile version of Curious Village in order to speedrun through it, solve as little puzzles as possible, and then see Granny Riddleton as early as I could. I wanted to get the puzzle lore. AND BOY DID I GET PUZZLE LORE OH MY GOD.

I cannot believe my shitpost guess was actually right on the money (or at least close enough) and I did not even have this scene in mind to just, y’know, ACTUALLY CEMENT IT AS CANON.

I am shook

(PS: The last image with the bottles was a screenshot I took from a random playthrough on Youtube, because apparently in the mobile version they replaced the cute bottle lore with a list >:c)

ANYWAY I cannot wait to get there in the actual playthrough, this is going to be a TREAT to study the Japanese and US versions to compare with.

Quick run-through of what these screenshots teach us:

Vines growing on a house is apparently not normal (or rather, letting the vines grow is unusual). In my shitpost theory, the explanation was that since puzzles are made of random stuff such as dust, dead leaves etc, unclean and/or untidy places are more likely to have puzzles appear naturally.

Puzzles can literally either appear out of the blue or move of their own accord. “I could’ve sworn there was nothing there a minute ago” means that either the puzzle just poofed into existence while Luke was not looking, or the puzzle just moved on its own and decided to settle itself within the door’s lock. By the way, did I forget to say that this is a SLIDING BLOCK PUZZLE? That APPEARED OUT OF NOWHERE?

Layton being unfazed by Granny Riddleton being clairvoyant shows that the distinction between what is normal and what is not in this world is VERY skewed compared to our world’s vision of normal. Clark and Luke being able to talk to animals? Unusual, but eh, relatively mundane. Granny Riddleton saying that there are many fortune-tellers with actual powers over there, but that having power over puzzles is a lot more impressive than predicting the future? Yeah, checks out. An ancient civilisation capable of actual magic, prehistoric manatees, puzzles being eldritch abominations you can find at any corner? Pfsh, classic. But NOW, an entire village populated only with robots? Unheard of.

(Little theory edit: Calling it now. Fortune-tellers who can “see a few days into the future” were somehow able to subconsciously or somewhat consciously communicate with the Illusory Forest and lost all their powers after the end of Azran Legacy. It was less than a year before CV so it would still be relevant for Granny Riddleton to mention it.)

(Another point that was brought by the lovely @alto-tenure​ on Discord: Perhaps the actual reason why Layton and Luke are so surprised about the St. Mystere inhabitants being robots and having so many puzzles around is because (direct quote) A. “Most of the puzzles in the shack wouldn’t be hidden puzzles, they would be puzzles given by the NPCs. Maybe that’s the reason a village of puzzle robots is so unbelievable—the idea that someone could replicate the puzzle generation process…”, and (direct quote again) B. “Given our current concept of what puzzles are, they are very much something that more pop up around people than get made. And in-universe, they wouldn’t really have a clue about what makes a puzzle, just that they exist. So the fact that Bruno managed to figure out how to get his robots to make puzzles—or at least facilitate the process—would be very difficult to believe.”)

(And yet another point brought this time by @multiversal-madness​, on Discord as well: “What if puzzles can just, stick themselves to paper. Like the paper is not just part of the puzzle, but they can just choose to rest on the paper. I said it as a joke earlier but they do seem pretty content to just sit in Hershel’s puzzle index, and at Granny Riddleton’s, there are wrapped bits of paper in the bottles. Imagine if they don’t only sell/make puzzle compartment things, but journal/notebook things where puzzles can sit on their own pages. Granny Riddleton just goes the extra mile and gets them not only their own sheet of paper, but their own bottles and puts those bottles in their own little puzzle house lol” —— To which, I personally replied that this was the idea I had specifically for Curious Village’s first puzzle! The map puzzle was pretty much a puzzle resting on the map itself, and going “solve me if you want me to move and let you see the actual map.”)

Puzzles are self-conscious enough to take decisions such as agreeing to stay with her or not. They also live in a little house, as if they could have their own little life too. Also, we should knock on the door before visiting, it would be rude to intrude and disturb them uninvited.

Granny Riddleton keeps other stuff as well aside from our puzzles. Either they are other puzzles, or other things altogether (which are probably just as weird).

She also keeps the puzzles (at least Layton and Luke’s puzzles) inside of jars. One per jar exclusively, because do you remember what I said about keeping multiple puzzles in the same confined space?

Shitpost only edit: I love the fact that tumblr cuts my post at exactly the right position for its "View Post" button to act as a swear word bleep sound. This kind of coincidence is peak comedy to me.

[yamameta-inc]

hi hi i hope you are still doing essay commentary because WOAG this latest oboro visual poem meta thing. messed me UP. predictably your mention of third person perspective is my favourite part of the whole post. im wondering why you chose those specific oboro and gintoki Eye Moments for example. but anything else or anything more on the rainbow body segment that you want to talk about would be wonderful! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

(— groupofcrows main)

yesss thank you for the question! i love talking about this stuff.

So the rainbow body is a phenomenon and concept from Dzogchen, a tradition within Tibetan Buddhism. Essentially, when a master attains full knowledge, their body changes. I'm not going to go into the details here because it's not too relevant, but upon death the master's body will dissolve into light instead of leaving a corpse behind, and then their spirit can go wherever in the world to aid others. (Very much like how I think of Shouyou's final death in the final arc where he The World arcana's himself into sublimation.)

I was originally going to go in a different direction with the collage, but it didn't work with the flow as well, and it was difficult to get suitable quotes. You haven't seen the end of the rainbow body quotes though, I have a bunch more I'm saving for another collage. lol.

Anyway, what's meant by "third person perspective" in the actual definition of the rainbow body is just that this is what's observable to the people around the master. Buddhism is largely concerned with the internal, which is probably why it's phrased this way. I took it and ran though! The first screenshot in that section is of Gintoki's iconic PTSD moment when he sees Utsuro's face for the first time, perfectly coincidentally in the arc where Utsuro is depicted with a LGBT pride aura as he moves for no reason (except, I presume, hilarity). What more significant moment of "knowledge" attainment is there for him? For Oboro, though, that moment of horrified realization is when he "realizes" he's been replaced, that Shouyou getting to live means that he will actually, you know, live his life and move on.

I juxtaposed these moments because, in a way, Gintoki and Oboro are already "third person perspectives" of each other. I've already talked about how Oboro is a retroactively created echo of Gintoki. What's fun in the wording of the quote is that it's the third-person perspective of someone else attaining knowledge, right? Oboro and Gintoki are "at the scene" of their respective deepest horror, with Oboro's image being second because it implicitly frames him as potentially looking at Gintoki. Because that's indeed what happened. Oboro is also always looking at Gintoki, but not at all in the same way as Takasugi.

In the execution pic, he's simply watching the execution--Gintoki is just the guillotine, and despite how terrible this moment is for everyone involved, Oboro isn't haunted by this. Some part of him knows that the worst is yet to come--that Gintoki will survive because of this choice, so one day he may come to the truly horrible realization, Utsuro. And so the images also imply that Oboro is looking at Gintoki's realization with horror. Oboro in the present had already come to this realization long ago, and so he's become empty of all (or almost all...) desires, attachments, resentments and lets himself be dressed by the narrative in priestly attire without protest.

What about Gintoki? He's not watching anything in this moment except his own memories flying past, but we, the viewer, are watching him have this realization. Just as we watch Oboro have his realization, and understand the catalyst for the entire underlying tragedy of Gintama. Which was Gintoki, or rather Oboro seeing Gintoki. In this situation we are also literally the third person. Gintoki finding out about Utsuro is just the sound of a pebble hitting water a very, very long time after Oboro first dropped it into a well over 10 years ago.

But also, Gintoki meeting Utsuro is quite literally why Utsuro has that LGBT pride aura going on. Because Utsuro needs a very dramatic entrance scene, because this is a very tense moment the narrative can't not gas up. So that we can enjoy it as viewers.

[batrachised]

Bit of an odd question, but do you have a list of academic resources/a place to start researching about LMM and her views on WW1?

I'm going to be writing a research paper on Canada's views on war and how they changed from WW1 to WW2 and I remember Rilla of Ingleside and The Blythes are Quoted were some of LMM's most relevant wartime material, but I'm not sure where to start looking so if you could point me in the right direction that would be very helpful!

Btw, I do have academic access to articles right now, so paywalls are less of an issue if that matters.

I'll preface by tagging @gogandmagog who is our resident lucy maud montgomery expert <3 she'll probably be able to contribute here more than I will

I am thrilled to be asked this question because I love digging into stuff like this! I wish I had a photographic memory because I've recently come across quite a lot of material discussing LM Montgomery's attitudes toward the war, but I can't remember what it was specifically (AAH).

As far as fiction - yes, Rilla and TBAQ are the most directly related to the war. There are other novels that foreshadow it, such as Ingleside and Rainbow Valley. I just found out the other day that Rainbow Valley has in fact been argued to be an allegory for WWI (ie, Walter's fight with Dan Reese). In terms of nonfiction, I do remember some sources, and can offer some names for you to start digging into. Foremost LMM scholars, that sort of thing. I also tried to add in examples of the books/articles that I know specifically discuss the war, with relevant passages as examples. (note: these passages are just a few examples of many! As such they're just a starting point - answering the question thoroughly would require more of a deep dive 😄)

Mary Rubio: my impression is that she is THE scholar when it comes to LM Montgomery. She wrote a biography of LM Montgomery called The Gift of Wings, which discusses WWI and specifically talks about attitudes towards it (ie, the death of innocence or the death of religion caused by WWI), especially LMM. This will probably be the best resource for answering your question. It includes lm Montgomery's responses to interview questions about the war where she discusses her moral philosophy. However, it doesn't go into depth on WWII. See example below.

Elizabeth Epperly. Another LM Montgomery scholar. She wrote The Fragrance of Sweet Grass, which also touches on LM Montgomery's attitudes on the war. However, here is through the lens of LM Montgomery's fiction rather than biographical materials. (IE, analysis of how Walter represents WWI in the text, and how he reflects the "gallant knight" attitude towards the war). I just read this passage today for example:

LM Montgomery's Journals. There are the selected, but I think the complete set would give you a fairer picture. They are organized by time period, so you would be able to select the ones from WWI and WWII if you wanted to. These are very detailed on the war to my understanding - much like Rilla, they go into specific battles etc. In fact, many lines in Rilla are directly copied from her journals, including ones belonging to Miss Oliver, Rilla, Walter, etc. You'd get primary source material and details if this is a heavy duty research paper. If it's not I'd probably rely on the other experts who have combed through the journals for you haha!

The Blythes Are Quoted. I recommend this one because it has a (short!) foreword by Epperly that specifically addresses this exact topic - see relevant passages from it below. This is the only source I found that really dug into WWII attitudes. Really, the thesis of this collection addresses the exact topic of your essay. It also has a short afterword by Benjamin Lefebvre (of Walter's Closet fame) that delves into LM Montgomery's ambivalence. The first two screenshots here are from the foreword and the last from the afterword.

The LM Montgomery Institute. It has a citation database for secondary source material on LM Montgomery. It also runs the Maudcast, a podcast on LM Montgomery but I don't think that will have relevant information. It has the Journal of L.M. Montgomery Studies as well.

Good luck with your paper! It sounds fascinating!

[erytherion]

I knew watching it again would probably result in some different perspectives from when I watched as a kid, but I remembered the film really well already and wasn’t expecting anything particularly ORV-related to suddenly hit me out of the blue, but like. Right at the end. RIGHT at the end.

Sing-Shong (or Han Sooyoung and KimCom, if you’d rather - or maybe both!) really did put so much thought into everything that got included, didn’t they?

You could say that ORV itself is exactly the same to them as this story was to the Rose who shared her story - Jack’s story.

I guess the idea is that, without ORV, we would never have known about Kim Dokja at all, because nobody would have remembered him. Maybe without those specific people surviving, there would not be any other record of him at all. Maybe that is part of the change between what may have ‘actually’ happened and what we read. Maybe he really, truly is ‘just some guy’ trying to survive like Jack Dawson, but nobody even knew he was a part of their story in the first place? What we read is a story saying ‘he was there, here is evidence of him being there’, but maybe he was just like Jack, there unplanned and undocumented, even in the <Star Stream> itself.

And they are still there, telling every world line outside of their own: He was here too. We want to find him. As the only ones who know he was there - maybe without any statue, any documented heroism. Just like everyone in the background of the film, saving each other, dying together, trying to survive.

And a promise, of course, to never let go. Not of a hand, but of a promise: A promise to survive, to live to an old age, and die in a warm bed.

I think a young Kim Dokja would appreciate the kind of message that provided, even in film form. Or at least, it’s one Han Sooyoung (or Sing-Shong, if you’d rather) would consider would want to convey to her readers.

Maybe they don’t even have a picture of him either. Maybe the only record of him exists within their memories. And that was the only source they had with which to try and recreate the ‘him’ that they knew, whilst knowing that, as with the film Titanic, the story would out of necessity become somewhat dramatised to sell the story as plausible or to make it popular enough to reach him.

Anyways, this quote (from the movie transcript - couldn’t find screenshots to do it justice) was what really hit me the most as being relevant to his story, too. Since they were there too, in the theatre dungeon, on the Titanic. It being a fictional rendition of a historical event makes it even more relevant too, and even as a kid I wondered - how can everyone be so okay watching these people die so horribly? But it’s because it’s fiction, it’s fiction. But, in this case, was it? How much of it?

Interpretations of fiction could still be close to reality, in universes where these things did happen, in their reality. As history. So are the things we read, watch, play all the same, in the end? Artists’ renditions, dramatised documentaries, or similar? Fiction, yet also reality.

Like ORV. Fiction, yet reality. Always both and the same.

And they always say ‘it feels like a dream’, too. What do dreams count as? Fiction, or reality? The memories stay in your head from them too. Does that mean they are or are not real?

Just some guy dreaming of the helping his friends through the apocalypse, who came out of nowhere just like Jack Dawson on that ship, walking the fine line between fiction and reality that never had any distinction to him in the first place. It’s always been both, for him, with his story.

Anyways I am crying right now so feel free to cry with me! We have many tears with all these stories and histories, I think.

[sophieinwonderland]

To be honest, we feel like we trust your blog for system-related information far more than we’d trust an anti-endo blog that was specifically designed for informing people about systems. We are solely traumagenic, but you seem to have done your research on plurals as a whole. Also, it is quite entertaining to read your debunkings of anti-endos.

Thank you! Always happy to entertain, and I'm glad to have earned your trust! 😊💖

One thing I often hope is that people won't need to trust me. At least not much. If I'm sharing anecdotes, people will obviously need to trust those since I can't prove what's going on in our own brain. But for anything regarding the science of plurality, it's always been important to have sources on hand.

The reason I think people should be wary of anti-endos is that they tend to not share sources. Or in the rare instance they do share sources, they won't have screenshots or quote of the relevant sections, and when you look into them, you often realize the "source" doesn't even support the argument being made.

I often talk about how anti-endos treat their "science" as a religion. They tell their followers what to believe, and their followers are expected to take it entirely on faith.

I guess... it's important for me to not be like that. I don't want people to trust whatever I say just because I say it, you know? If someone sees what appears to be scientific claims without a source anywhere, including on my own blog, I encourage them to be skeptical.