#No thoughts only dead

[stil-lindigo]

lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)

if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.

--

no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.

I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.

I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.

If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.

[detectivejay]

Time for a new poll! I'm curious to see the spread of answers on this one (and hear any other series not on the list.) Tried to go for a range of older and newer series on here, more on the older end of the spectrum, but I can't cover everything with the limited poll options here, so I hope you'll share your answers! :)

Please reblog for a larger sample size, thank you!

[peacheskoo]

No capes/actors AU came to me via a dream and I have since been obsessing over it,,

I have so many ideas over it but my fav is currently that the Jasons are brothers because of the quick switch between seasons/robins and how they couldn’t use the same actor for older Jason so they just asked his older brother to be Red Hood Jason, Little Jason is way younger because they were trying to emphasize how small street kid Jason was

Part 1

[deadbeatdyslexic]

I feel like a dead frog in a hot tub, just spinning around and around.

No thoughts, only dead.

[celendiar]

highkey in love with the idea that when it comes to their relationship, charles and edwin are the complete opposites of their usual behaviour.

charles, normally with zero impulse control or patience, is so so so careful and attentive with edwin, concerned about doing it all just right, spending hours planning their dates and content to take it all slow

meanwhile edwin, normally prim and proper and patient and self-disciplined, has repressed his wants and needs and feelings for 100+ years and now that he no longer has to?? he has no fucks left to give and will kiss charles senseless whenever he damn well wants to

[farshootergotme]

Wait, how tf did I miss this.

Batman: Wayne Family Adventures #7

You're telling me Forever Evil happened in this universe? You're telling me SPYRAL happened in this universe? I'll have to hope that everything went down very differently because otherwise there's a lot to unpack there that clearly this comic isn't ready for.

[suntails]

GAME START

[coloursflyaway]

Consider this: Charles treating falling in love with Edwin like an adventure.

Charles purposefully watching Edwin in his normal day-to-day so he can find the moments where he feels something more, taking Edwin on walks so they can talk about their feelings and hopes and expectations, trying to be closer physically as well as emotionally.

Charles being giddy and excited and overjoyed when he looks at Edwin one day and feels his heart seizing up, and having to tell Edwin about it immediately, because isn't this great? He couldn't say he was in love with Edwin back on the stairway to hell, but he's getting closer every day.

Charles wanting to fall in love with Edwin with the earnest intensity of someone who has loved Edwin in every other way for three decades.

And Edwin, who considered his feelings for Charles an affliction he should apologise for, watching this ray of human sunshine being absolutely overjoyed by slowly reciprocating his feelings and the opportunity to love him back.

[gods-favorite-autistic]

Brennan really took Ally accidentally naming a goddess after a Greek mythology figure and ran with it this season. Fabian and his whole Narcissus thing with Ecaf. The dance bard teacher having the same name as the Greek muse of dance. The place where the shards went back to being essentially Tartarus (body of a god used to house/torture the worst sinners or in fantasy highs case, dead/forgotten gods). Ambrosia being needed for devils nectar when it originated as food for the gods in Greek and Roman mythology. I’m seeing a pattern here

[cangrellesteponme]

wife

[edwinisms]

I feel like in the chaos of things they kinda glossed over possibly the most viscerally horrifying scene and concept in the show, ie; “…where did all the blood go?” “that was the last me,” and charles slowly lifting his lantern up to see the doll spider literally tearing edwin– not just a replica of edwin but literally the body of edwin from just a minute or two earlier– apart limb from limb, torn in half at the waist. then as he moves the lantern a bit to the side he’s met with an entire bloody pile of dismembered, decapitated, eviscerated edwin parts, from god knows how many killings.

like. charles must have persistent fucking nightmares about that right? in the moment he was focused on getting out of there and had to stomach it to move on, but afterwards? i think that must legitimately be the most gruesome, graphic thing he’s ever seen in his entire life/afterlife. i can’t think of anything that could be worse than that. it’s bad enough on it’s own, the live, constant mutilation happening to anyone, but then on top of it all it’s not just anyone– it’s his best friend, the most important person in the world to him.

ghosts can’t exactly sleep, but he must at least get flashbacks, or be triggered on occasion to an extent that makes him feel sick. i dont even know what that'd do to a person honestly, but it'd be hard (if not impossible) even for a pro-internalizer like charles to suppress that memory completely and not be tortured by it for an indefinite amount of time.

[octaviasdread]

Thinking about Carpe Diem and the cinematography of falling leaves to falling snow.

Seasons as cyclical as generations. It's tapestries and banners. It’s photographs on the wall. A structure, a system; tradition in the bones of buildings and boys.

There's a choice to be made - Nolan's hollow, ceremonial Light of Knowledge, or Neil's scavenged, man-made God of the Cave?

They’re children living for the future through a lens of past. Fireside stories embraced by woodland caves. They chant, dance, and recite from a sacred book - the heirloom they claim from a father they chose.

The window is finally open, but time froze at Welton lake. Forever winter. Forever youth. A moment in time, a feeling, a community turned to dust.

It's all so fleeting. Carpe Diem. Teenage years, childhood, a lifetime in three months. It’s a tragedy of classical epics.

The tale is old, but this wound is fresh. Falling to your knees. Shouting at the sky, praying and wailing, and clutching at the earth.

But the snow never stops.

Spring is up to us.

[technically-human]

Do you think you can draw fem!Doom patrol Payneland? <3

Since the DBD ones are Charlotte and Edith, these shall be Charlie and Edwina(?)

[willowser]

thinking about you laying in bed with bakugou and lightly tracing the messy edges of the scar in the middle of his chest, hardly able to comprehend how deep that wound runs. it had already been there for years by the time you'd met him, but sometimes you see it and are unable to swallow the fact that—at one time—you were alive and he wasn't.

very quietly, you say, "it's crazy to think how easily i could have missed you,"

because it's not every day you meet and fall in love with a man that's died and come back. if fate is destined and soulmates are real, you imagine the two separate paths of your lives traveling parallel, in sync—and his breaking away for one horrible moment, torn from you before you even knew it.

bakugou is half-asleep, you know, but he shifts until his chin is lightly nudging your forehead, and speaks into your hair. "nah," he murmurs, voice thick and slow and slurred. "would'a found you eventually."

and somehow, you can't find it in your heart to doubt him.

[alchemistc]

"What's this?" Eddie asks, wide eyed and curious as he shifts the papers on Steve's desk, shuffling past unopened mail and timestamps for the page buried beneath it all, and Steve has just enough time to turn in horror before Eddie unearths it.

It - his shame, his fear, his heart laid out in graphite against a backsplash of fine white paper. He'd splurged on the stack of it hidden in one of his desk drawers, a luxury he couldn't really afford anymore but one he'd decided was worth it now that his parents had made it clear they wouldn't be back any time soon to take it from him.

He knows every line of it, every piece of shading, all the highlights he'd agonized over and the spots where he couldn't be satisfied by the shape of the nose, the angle of the jawline.

Eddie takes it in for long enough that Steve can feel time dilating around them, an infinite gasping maw of nothingness and everything all at once.

And when he's taken his fill of it, his gaze flits up again. Meets Steve's, and holds.

"It's me."

Steve breathes. In, out, two careful measures. He swallows. He contemplates, just for a moment, leaping out the window. He breathes. He swallows, again, his throat tight. He breathes.

Eddie in profile, bottom lip pinched by his teeth. Eddie, with dark shadows tilted across his jaw, his nose, his Adams apple, where a curtain of hair blocks out the light. Eddie, eyes crinkled at the corners, smile lines rushing into the heavy dip of a dimple barely visible beside the fall of his hair.

Eddie.

"But -." Eddie stares. At Steve, for a moment, before his eyes flit back to the stark lines of the portrait Steve had liked just enough not to take out and burn with the rest of them.

"I'm sorry," Steve tells him, and he means it. Sorry, for not saying anything earlier. Sorry, for accepting Eddie's friendship and taking advantage of his easy way with people. Sorry for drinking in the sight of him and squirreling away the details of each moment, hoarding each memory away for the long winter that would come to be when Eddie eventually moved on.

"You..." Eddie swallows. Breathes. In and out, a rattle of bones and teeth and sinew Steve is intimately familiar with. "It's me," he says, again, confusion furling out over his brow.

But it's not - he's not -

"I thought you'd be mad."

Eddie startles. "Mad? Mad for - why would I...?" Eyes dart to Steve, studying him. And he knows - Steve has recounted to him every missed birthday and every cool and quiet dinner with his parents, every detail of his surface level friendships before Robin, every hurt he and Nancy ever doled out to one another in their anger and fear and pain. He knows.

He knows Steve just as surely as Steve knows him.

"Sweetheart," Eddie says, in that soft, sweet voice he has for broken things he means to repair.

Steve swallows, and he breathes.

[riickgrimes]

Rick + giving Michonne gifts What are you up to, Grimes? I'm just working with what I got.

bonus: